#in case anyone wonders: good game but not as good as part 1

[lananiscorner]

[cina-full-moon-xanadium]

Heisei/Reiwa Kamen Rider Bike Riding Time research

Hello there! Does anyone remember from a little while back when this image was going around?

For a while, at least in fan communities I frequented; this was quite infamous for showing just how sharp a decline Kamen Rider's namesake had become in the last few years, with the absolute nadir of the Heisei 20th anniversary Kamen Rider using his bike for a total of 47 seconds (and also, on the other end; just how much Kuuga would not get off his bike)

Obviously, it's been a few years since Saber now; and I've found myself wondering from time to time exactly how the Riders since then have fared, especially since both Geats and Gotchard have garnered a reputation of sorts for putting a bit more emphasis on the bikes and feeling like they have more screentime than your Zero-Ones and your Sabers.

So! I went looking and found the source. This extremely dedicated Japanese poster called Yamashita Radio who of course I will be basing the majority of this on, including his rules and his counting. And when I say 'dedicated' I mean that at one point he lost all his data so he just counted Kuuga through Saber all over again. MAD respect for this man! I highly recommend a full readthrough of this 5-part post at one point because it's very impressive and interesting stuff in my opinion

One other interesting point is that that chart there? That's main rider only; and also includes any riding they did as civilians. There is a separate chart for all motorbike riding in the show as a whole; including other riders, including monsters, including even just random civilians! For posterity, I think it's important to post that chart for comparison with the main rider one -- I've colour coded here so that red is Heisei 1 (Kuuga-Decade), green is Heisei 2 (W-Zi-O) and yellow is Reiwa (Zero-One onwards). Main rider only on the left, all biking on the right.

Up front there are some absolutely fascinating observations to make here - Zero-One had the least bike scenes of any show! Brand new era of Kamen Rider! - but I think I've talked about the past enough. With all this said and what I feel is a very important plug to make, let's get into the meat of this -- how do Revice, Geats and Gotchard compare to previous shows?

Rules

... okay, yeah, sure; let's quickly establish a baseline first. As I'm going off of Yamashita's work, I'm also going by all his rules; it's a good thing I agree with all of them because I kinda didn't want to completely redo the count of every season!

TV Show ONLY! No movies, no TTFC specials, no HBVs, no V-Cinema, none of it. The main reason given is that, uh, Paradise Lost has a 100+ bike scene near the start so that's too much of an advantage -- fair enough! Personally I also think it's more interesting, because movies generally have more budget and allowances for bike scenes so those tend to be the same. Maybe a separate count would still be interesting, but I think including movies would flatten out the times too much and make the data pretty uninteresting

No openings! Agito has too much of an advantage

Non-transformed states count the same as transformed states. Godai riding a bike is the same as Kuuga riding a bike.

All motorcycles are treated equally! Mopeds and even CG scenes and bikes are allowed

Other vehicles such as cars, trains and even bicycles and hoverbikes are excluded. Two big exceptions are made for Drive and Revice as they do not have a main motorbike otherwise, but this does exclude things like Gaim's Dandeliner, many of the Oni in Hibiki's transport vehicles, Den-O's Den-Liner, Gotchard's Steamliner and Madwheel and Decade's Agito Slider

Transformations of the bike still count as long as it's being ridden. The Boostriker turns into fox mode while you're riding it? That's fair game

Flashbacks and other repeat footage ("previously on" segments etc) don't count of course. But in cases where it's clearly stock footage but it's still a new event, like the many Ryuki Rideshooter scenes, that's still counted

Count from the moment the bike is straddled to the moment the bike is gotten off, and everything in between. Scenes where the bike isn't technically visible - such as close-ups of the rider's face, or cutting to another character's reaction - are still counted if it's all the same scene

Revice

3m21s (2m23s for Revi only)

Oh lucky me, this was actually done for me! Yamashita made a small update after Revice finished to add this. I just went over and double checked it.

At 3m21s, Revice is at this point the series with the 2nd least amount of bike riding; above Zero-One and below Zi-O. For Revi alone he's in 3rd least; above Zero-One and below Saber. Happy 50th anniversary!

An interesting note here is that Ikki never rides Vice Ptera untransformed -- concerns over the actor's safety, maybe? Daiji also pulls in 58 seconds for the show on his own motorbike, but abandons it completely after episode 13; only bringing it back for the summer movie (which is also the only place he rode it as Live). Interestingly, the 12 seconds he rides it with Sakura in episode 13 is the only time he uses it in the show after becoming a Rider. The skateboarding scene in episode 7 for Jackal Form goes on for over a minute, but unfortunately can't count for this...

I think most people expected Revice to place quite low, though. So let's move on to a show I think a lot of people expect to place higher.

Geats

4m05s (3m45s for Geats only)

I keep repeating it, but this is a show where it seemed a lot of people got the impression of the bike having more importance than before. I think there's a lot of aspects that come together into that -- the bike being tied to a specific 'special' item that's even part of the main rider's main form, the upgrade forms going off of that, and the bike being used in prominent scenes including in the first episode. Geats even arrives on it in his Revice summer movie cameo!

But ultimately if you look at riding time, Geats ends up in 3rd place for overall bike time; above Revice and below Zi-O, while for main rider only Ace ends up in 5th last; above Saber and below Decade. As such he ends up being the main Reiwa Rider to use his bike the most.

This is where I started splitting main rider and untransformed rider in my personal tracking charts, just for fun -- I actually couldn't do that for Revice because as said Ikki never rides anything untransformed except his bicycle. Until episode 11 Ace actually just slightly edged out Geats for having more bike time which was enjoyable to see.

A very interesting thing happens in regards to the Boostriker's transformed state. I decided not to include finishers involving it unless the Rider is specifically riding it -- and the one and only one to do so was Buffa in episode 6, accounting for every single second he rode the machine. He had a penchant for using the buckles' weapons in ways he wasn't supposed to, and he kept up that rule even when the 'weapon' was a bike.

Geats spends a decent amount of time in the final episode sitting on his bike while talking to Regad and the other Riders, and that really saved the show's overall times.

Gotchard

5m09s (2m32s for Gotchard alone)

According to production blogs, Gotchard had a stated aim of using the bike more. Unfortunately it seems this didn't manifest itself in a very major way... but I think we did see more interesting uses of it! Spanner has his own bike (that like Daiji, he never rides transformed!), there's a version of Golddash from the future, other characters including Golddash itself ride rather than Hotaro at multiple points!

For 'others', the 3 seconds in Episode 2 is when Minato rolls up to deliver Golddash to Hotaro personally. Episode 9's 5 seconds have Renge (with Sabimaru in the back) riding it to deliver Hotaro's cards to him in Kyoto.

Spanner shockingly saved the series' overall time here in a similar way to final episode Ace, by sitting on his for an extended period of time during his conversation with Lachesis at the start of episode 47.

While it's not a very long scene nor did it change anything for the rankings, the bike scene in the final episode that just aired is notable for an extremely rare instance of a Rider Machine being ridden by a Kamen Rider's final form. To my knowledge this has previously only been done by Agito, Den-O and Revice (the latter in a movie). Fittingly for a show where part of the direction was inspired by Agito, both Agito and Gotchard do this Final Form bike scene in their final episodes.

And now, for the final count...

Gotchard ended up in 21st for overall bike time between Zi-O and Saber, but this was largely due to other characters; so Hotaro alone ended up in 22nd between Revice and Saber.

Overall we're now 5 shows in instead of 2, we can indeed see a very large dropoff in the Reiwa Era -- including Zi-O, the most recent 6 shows are all at the bottom of the list. This is especially notable when The next most recent series, Build, had 12m31s; almost double that of Saber's -- and this wasn't uncommon, with Ghost and Ex-Aid sharing similar times.

This was the main thrust of my research... but what say we go on a little addendum? Because when I mentioned Yamashita updated his post to include Revice in 2022, there was... one other series he saw fit to do a count for. One that was only halfway through, but nonetheless saw an impressive amount of bike riding time. He only got halfway, but what say I finish the job out of pure interest?

It is "Avataro Sentai Donbrothers"

The extremely normal 2022 entry into the Super Sentai series has a number of bike scenes. Some you may expect from Don Momotaro riding his CGI Enyarideon on his Palanquin for much of the first cour. Some of you might say that CGI shouldn't count, it's easy enough to animate together a scene than deal with road laws and such -- but does Kijibrother not count? Does Inubrother not count? Do none of the mech scenes count? It's a festival, people. Let's enjoy it.

Even aside from the CGI, Yamashita noted halfway through the show; that can't quite account for everything else. Sonoi has a bike he rides in multiple episodes, every time with a wheelie. Inuzuka twice within 4 episodes steals a bike and almost runs people over with it, as is perfectly fine for a hero. Don Kaito shows up with his own motorbike to promote his new book, which you should buy. For a show where it's not even in the name and for recent Sentai, there's an awful lot of riding going on.

Yamashita in his post speculates that part of this is Inoue's own habits -- as a man whose Toku experience largely consists of regularly writing for Kamen Rider in the 00s, it's natural to expect he would be inclined to write something like "Inubrother escapes the scene on a motorcycle..." as if it was second nature; as if that's nothing special for a modern show.

And I would be inclined to believe that... as such a habit is something that would likely get ironed out after a while; and sure enough, while bike scenes are frequent for the first half of the show, they disappear entirely from episode 23 to 43. It is at this point in my own count I thought we would simply never see a large bike scene from the show again, and the sheer fun of counting up Donbrothers would be lost.

And then... he appeared.

My saviour from the future.

With a full uninterrupted 1 minute 15 second bike scene

I could hardly believe what I was seeing. I remembered the future episode but I had completely forgotten this was a part of it. When I started timing this episode I was leaving the house fairly shortly and I figured like the past 20 episodes this would be easy enough to count, and I was utterly bewildered. I should never have disbelieved for a moment.

With all that said... where does Donbrothers end up in full?

7m21s (4m23s for Don Momotaro alone)

This overwhelming record easily puts both Donbrothers and Don Momotaro in 20th place of their respective charts; beating all Reiwa Riders and Zi-O -- with Don Momotaro even coming close to dethroning Kamen Rider Decade's riding time!

This is where we stand, my companions. In an era where Kamen Rider's biking time is lower than ever before and shows no sign of significant recovery, Donbrothers swoops in to steal its glory. Never lose faith. The festival never ends

[mapileonxputellas]

Beckham II: 1 New Beginning

Please find instagram aesthetic here.

Post here explains how I've wrote it, I think it's quite simple.

This is the first part of my new series and I hope you enjoy xx (3k words)

“Do you ever think about how crazy it is that you’re an icon in Barcelona and yet your dad played for Real Madrid?”

“I try not to think about that. I think that bothers him more than me.”

“Does he have any Barcelona shirts?”

“Of course he does.”

…..

“David, how does it feel watching your daughter play for Barcelona?”

“It’s the best feeling in the world. I’m guessing you were expecting some kind of rivalry but I’ll always support my daughter.”

…..

Barcelona, February 2023.

One down, nine to go.

It was like clockwork in your brain. Training would finish, everyone else would rush to get back into the training room and get back to their everyday life. Yet here you were, on your own, just how you like it. You and the ball. Free kick after free kick after free kick. Ten in total, all from different areas, all with different aims but each one just as equally important in your brain.

Barcelona was a dream. You were here with the best players in the world but you hated letting anyone down. Every little mistake was over-analysed, picked at all because of who you were. At the weekend it was a wonder save which stopped one nestling in the top corner but that didn’t matter. It hadn’t gone in and therefore didn’t meet your expectations.

The expectations you put on yourself, multiplied by that moment four years ago.

You loved your father but many people probably didn’t understand that there wasn’t a gene for taking good free kicks.

Unbeknownst to you, all of this was about to change. “You’ve got a visitor.”

“If it’s another journalist, tell them I’m not interested.”

You couldn’t be bothered with whatever reply the press officer would tell you. It was the same every day. Someone wanted to speak to you, you said no. They came back the next day.

You’d think they’d get bored after four years of consistent turn aways but that was never the case. You did the press conferences, the interviews after games but a sit-down full-length interview was not something you felt like you could ever handle.

So you carried on, resetting the ball in the correct spot. Back to just you and the ball.

For February it was a sunny afternoon in Barcelona, the sun was still shining for the mid-afternoon with minimal wind. Perfect conditions to practice and as your teammates had pointed out you hadn’t needed any more persuasion to get that training vest on, your tattoos on full show. Along with football they were your biggest passion, your phone was full of tattoo inspiration and little doodles you did when you were bored, they were a big part of you and maybe the image you wanted to create for yourself.

You took inspiration from everything, football, the environment, your father. Growing up many would say you were already a carbon copy of him but the tattoos were the icing on the cake. Your mother may not have been as happy about them but they promised to accept all your passions and that included turning up every few months with a new collection of tattoos to show off.

…..

“Maria, is she copying you?”

“You’ll have to ask her. No of course not, I would say we take great inspiration from each other. We’ve got a few matching ones, I’ve done a few on her and she’s done the same to me. That’s kind of what started our friendship.”

“You both have ‘looks can be deceiving’ on your necks, is that true for her?”

“Depends on what you think of her. Maybe some find her scary but you have to find out if that’s true yourself.”

…..

You could hear someone approaching you, watching as you took the next kick nestling it into the bottom corner underneath the imaginary wall.

“Y/N, have you got five minutes?” The unmistakable voice of Sarina. Many people would love Serena Weigman to turn up at their training session, not you. Not now.

Shit. You almost didn’t want to turn around. Maybe if you stayed facing the other way she would leave. Leave you be in the bubble you’d created for yourself, nothing good could come out of this conversation.

But of course the Dutch woman wasn’t going to leave that easily, edging closer to you. “I only want to talk.”

“I gave you my answer a year ago.”

“Lots can change in a year. Five minutes. If you still want me to leave after, I’ll leave.”

Maybe it was worth hearing what she had to say. Nothing could change your mind anyway, you’d hear whatever she had to say and then she could leave.

You knew what she was here for and it didn’t surprise you what came out of her mouth next. “I want you back, I name my squad next week and I want you ready to play for us at the World Cup.”

“And I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“The fans are not that accepting, the players don’t deserve to be drawn into that drama because of me.”

“There’s always drama in football.” Maybe she had a point but off the back of the Euro’s success the lionesses have had nothing but positivity from the media and public. “We’ve lost Beth, we’ve lost Fran and I think the players would welcome your experience in that position. It’s your decision but I know deep down you want to prove people wrong and I want to give you that opportunity.”

“Some would say I don’t deserve that.”

“It will be different this time.”

“How?”

“It’s been four years, everything’s changed. We protect you guys, you have support systems in place, we have support systems. It’s not individuals anymore, it’s a team.”

“I made that decision to protect myself.” Almost four years ago you’d sent that letter, asking not to be selected for international duty again. They had no choice but to accept it and when Serena came into the role she approached you but you told her a tournament on home soil was not something you could mentally cope with. Not yet. “Why would now be different?”

“I’ve watched every game you’ve played in the last 18 months. I know you may not see a difference in yourself but I do, the interview after you lost to Lyon showed your spirit, your drive. I need players like you, it won’t be easy but I don’t want something that happened four years ago to stop you showing the world how talented you are.”

You were conflicted. Of course you’d love nothing more than to prove all those who bashed you before wrong, to make a difference on the world stage after winning every trophy you could with Barcelona. On the other hand it was just opening a can of worms you’d hidden all those years ago. Although you were only in Spain it felt like a different world, you turned your comments off on social media and they never came back on. Interviews were a no-go and your former friends were now distant acquaintances.

“Can I think about?”

“Of course you can. Like I said, the squad goes out on Tuesday so I need an answer by Monday. Any questions, I’m coming to the match on Sunday, maybe I can speak to you after?”

“Thank you.” With a soft squeeze to your shoulder she was off, except now you couldn’t focus knowing you were about to make a decision which would change everything.

…..

“You seem distracted.”

In hindsight it probably wasn’t the best idea to accept the dinner invite from Maria and Ingrid but you knew your best friends wouldn’t take no for an answer. The three of you along with Frido were sat at their dinner table, tucking into the tapas you’d ordered from your favourite restaurant and it wasn’t lost on any of them how your mind was elsewhere. Casually picking through your food was a total opposite to the way you usually devoured this.

“Y/N?”

You’d been debating on the way whether to speak to someone about it.

Maybe your dad? He’d gone through something similar but he was in Miami and would only just be getting up.

Your mum? She was the most rational option but she would never understand that pride of pulling on your national shirt.

Your therapist seemed the best option but the earliest session she had for non-emergencies was tomorrow.

“Y/N!” In your own little world you’d even forgot to answer their questions. “Are you alright?”

It could help speaking to them, couldn’t it? “I had a visitor after training. Sarina Weigman.”

“Shit man, I thought you said no.” Maria Leon was your best friend from the moment you stepped foot in that training room, you bonded over everything from tattoos to food. You’d been her wingman in getting with Ingrid and had a mutual understanding of each other’s situations with your respective national teams even if the circumstances were very different.

“She wants me back but I don’t know, this feels different from last year.” If Bonnie, your 5-year-old beagle, adopted 3 years ago to signify a new chapter in your life, wasn’t by your feet they would definitely be anxiously tapping the floor right now.

“They probably feel your absence more because they’ve lost other players.” Frido added some context. “Not that you wouldn’t have always walked into that team but now you definitely would. You’d be their main player.”

“I can see you’re considering it.” Ingrid pointed out. “When she came last year I could see you were like, definitely no, now you haven’t turned it down immediately.”

“There’s no right or way wrong to feel,” Maria tried to comfort me. “Only you can decide if you want to go back there.”

“I miss it.”

“Of course you do.” Ingrid agreed. “You wouldn’t watch all their games if you didn’t.”

“It’s just the fact that I’m comfortable here, I have been for so long and now I’m going to throw myself back into four years ago.” Four years ago when you’d been forced to move away from your club at the time in Chelsea and accept the fact that one mistake had changed everything. “Plus the media attention, no-one wants that in the lead up to the world cup.”

“They were your friends, I’m sure they’d understand.” Frido tried to make you see that side of things. “Shit happens in football but what happened to you when completely over the top of that.”

“I isolated them.” Of course you had friends in the squad at the time, in fact best friends. But as soon as you made the move to America you slowly distanced yourself from them as they did to you. You hated letting them down and completely understood that being associated to you meant unnecessary exposure where perhaps they would not want it.

“So you’ll make friends again.”

You’d changed as well, grown into a completely different person in that time. Your appearance and attitude on the pitch were a distinct opposite to the crippling shyness you had yet to shake off. “Maybe.”

“You will,” Maria assured you. “Plus I think Bonnie told me she wanted a sleepover with me.”

“Oh did she?”

“I’m not swaying you either way but if that’s what you want, I’ll support you all the way.”

“We all will.” Frido added wrapping her arms around you to bring you into her side. “We love you.”

“Thank you, I love you all too.”

“Speak to your dad, maybe even your mum. I’m sure they’d want to help.”

One of the funniest moments in your life had to be watching your teammates introduce themselves to your parents when they came out to watch your first match in the Blaugrana. Watching their nerves dissipate when they realised how down to earth, especially your mother was, when it came to their children. Of course their name brought so much extra attention to you but you couldn’t have asked for a better upbringing.

Maybe it was their words that made you do it but subconsciously you knew the best thing to do was to ring them. So as you got into bed that night, once you got back, Bonnie at your feet watching, you rang the number you’d had memorised for years.

“Hi baby.” His voice almost brought tears to your eyes. Although you tried to be as independent as possible, wanting to be your own person, you sometimes wished you could just go back to spending every night in his arms.

“Hi dad.”

“What’s wrong?” You hated how easily he could read you, how those two words were enough for him to know something was wrong.

“It’s nothing.”

“You know you can tell me anything.”

“I know dad.” Out with it. “Sarina Weigman came to visit me today, she wants me to go and join them in the next international break.”

“And what do you want?”

“I think I want to.”

“You think?”

“I just know that if I do I’m just going to be brought back to that moment.”

“Then you’ll go back to a moment where the referees made a terrible decision. Football fans are fickle you know that as much as I do but you’ve watched it back enough to know that nine times out of ten nothing happens. The commentator did you no favours, Phil didn’t stand by you as he should have and the media hung you out to dry.”

“I know.”

“But as awful as it was it made you the person you are today and your stronger now then you’ve ever been before. If you want to go back then you’ll make it work. I know you will.”

“Thanks dad, now how is…”

,,,,,

“How many times have you watched that tackle back?”

“Over a thousand times.”

“Do you think you should have been sent off?”

“Of course not.”

……

You loved Barcelona, from the moment you stepped through those doors 3 years ago you’d been welcomed in and never looked back. In 2019 you moved to America but your year out there was plagued with depression and homesickness resulting in a lack of game time, when Barcelona came calling it was a difficult decision with your family ties but they had a project, they had a good set up and you knew the onus wouldn’t just be on you. The first six months were still tough, working out Spanish football to both play with your teammates and counter the opposition but by the end of the season you felt at home for the first time in 2 years.

Your role this year had been heightened by the loss of one of your midfield partners in Alexia, but you were adaptable and that’s probably how you found yourself 4-0 up, having just scored a second goal in the second half.

“It’s almost like you’re trying to impress someone.” Mapi whispered giving you a half hug as you walked back into your own half.

“Shut up.”

“I bet she’s panicking that you might turn it down now.”

“She’s got other players Maria.”

“But none of them are you.”

The match stayed at 4-0, some of the youngsters coming on to see the game out.

You’d never been in a team like this, of course you had little arguments and there were small groups within the team, but everyone worked so hard for each other. And with that came the protectiveness, when you joined you were only 21, now 24 and the older ones took you under their wings. You’d been daunted a lot at the fact of playing fellow English players in the Champions League but they’d been your shield for those moments.

It blew your mind when the younger age groups joined you and they speak about that moment. Most of them staying up late to watch it making you feel old. But that meant they came to you for advice a lot of the time. Maybe this time though it was time to get advice from them.

“Hey little one.” Maria Perez was the first one you spotted in the changing room. “You played really well today.”

“Thank you.”

“How are you feeling about being called up?” It was only yesterday that the Spanish squad had been leaked and she was once again in it.

“Excited, another opportunity to prove myself.”

“I like that you see it that way.”

“Everyone should, it’s no different to playing here, as long as you be yourself you can never be disappointed.”

…….

@jillsmithjournalist: Serena Weigman is present at the Barcelona match. No current England players are playing however star player Y/N Beckham scored twice. Beckham has not played for England since she withdrew from selection in August 2019 amid public backlash and a rumoured feud with England manager Phil Neville. Could a return be on the cards?

@newlionesses_x: Surely she can’t just pick and choose when to come back.

@wslfan: Fine without her last year

@england123: Liability for England

@barcelonafan: All you hating on Beckham are crazy, one of the best players in the world and you don’t want her back because of something that happened 4 years ago, grow up. Could tell she struggled when she joined us but this past year she’s been exceptional, people change, mistakes happen (even though she should never have been sent off in the first place)

…..

You’ve known your decision for a long time but you still delayed giving it as long as possible before you could wait no longer. You could see she was the only one left in the hospitality area as you entered, the table she had chose overlooking the pitch you’d just performed on.

This was what you wanted and now it felt only right to give yourself that opportunity again.

“I’ll do it.”

[danrifics]

you all pestered me for it and here it is. the closeness analysis/ theory.

now if you didn't see I basically had this theory that the closer to BIG and COTY we get in the DAPG timeline the closer dan and phil sit to each other. Dan made a comment about how them playing Heartthrob being like a gay soft launch and that got me thinking of some other ways they could have done it and one of those being the idea that as time goes on you get less and less strict and worrisome about what others think of you and so they end up gravitating closer and closer.

This post will be under a see more cos its probably gonna be long af.

I will be splitting it into stages.

2014 -15

2016 - 17

2018

revival

sorry the screenshots arent clickable to make bigger tumblr only allows for 30 on a post so i had to group them together!

(i will not be covering horror games apart from in the revival stage and i will also not be talking much about gamingmas 2023)

2014 - 15

now when i initially went to collect my evidence, i was suddenly worried maybe i kinda had things wrong because i feel like in Donkey Kong Country (the first dapg video, see screenshot below) they're sat pretty close but honestly when we get to how they sit a lot later on you'll see that this is actually pretty far apart

now here are some screenshots for the inital look at at the end of them we'll talk (this will be the layout for most of this post i think)

now of course this is only a selection of those year's videos if i screenshotted them all i fear this post would never end. now these first 2 years are a good mix of at desk videos on sofa videos. i noticed from some other videos not show here that in sofa videos they rend to sit a lot closer to each other than they do at the desk, this is kinda funny to me cos really they definitely have room for a wider frame on the couch if they wanted to sit like normal people.

2016 - 17

2016 and the start of 2017 feel like a mixed bag of how close together they are but i did notice that the more into 2017 we got the more they seemed to be shoulder to shoulder! these also started to wean out sofa sitting games (not 100% gone yet but almost). now if you're wondering why i've kept this screenshot apart its cos this is the last one in the first london apartment.

and honestly from here on out is where i believe the "soft launching" begins!

so lets finish 2017 and see if im right!

just had to single out this screenshot for a sec:

in case anyone wondered that is the face dan made during dream daddy when phil reads "we were roommates for a while too"

softlaunch?

anyway moving on

watching these videos definitely feels like something changed btw, while they still arent as close as we'll start seeing them sit, i definitely noticed more often they were shoulder to shoulder. but like a new room has definitely changed the vibe a little bit between them, and now we can move on to the next and final year of pre hiatus dapg, where things as you will see immediately start to change.

2018

like i said... immediately we are met with this, i would also like to let everyone know that 2018 is my favourite era of pre hiatus dapg

lets see what the rest of this year will bring

now i'm splitting 2018 up into parts because i need to do a whole talk about the tour situations so for now lets look at the above screenshots, now its very obvious that they are sitting so much closer to each other which i think is really funny considering how big that room is and often in this section of videos there is a lot of room either side of them so they literally do not need to be that close.

now lets talk about the tour bus. this is how close they're sitting

thats for sure a 1 person seat yet they've both forced themselves on even tho the sofa literally behind them would have been perfectly fine to sit on, and they cant give me "this is the only place to set up the camera" babe its really not theres a whole surface behind you.

okay thank you for listening to this, moving on to the final part of 2018!

(the last 2 screenshots are out of order oops)

idk about you but yeah i think they are definetly a lot closer than they were way back in 2014. i really dont have a lot to say other than that, and i have definetly proven my theory so now we've established that lets have a brief look at post hiatus dapg!

Revival

Now this is gonna be really brief its just a summary of where we are post BIG/COTY and post hiatus (things my brain still cant quite believe is real)

now here are the revival moments i wanna give a mention!

firstly sims season ep 3 when dan moves his chair away from phil and their wheels are literally locked together, pushing phil's chair too

heres dan looking into the monitor and then moving closer to phil <3

and finally

hand hold

thanks for reading all this and sorry if it didnt live up to the hype lmao

[moreespressoformydepresso]

Imagine if, while in the zoo, the tributes of the 10th hunger games had spent their time bonding and at some point kinda joked about escaping together? And they all thought out exit strategies and such and even the word they’d use as signal to initiate the plans. They discuss who’s good at what, jokingly dividing tasks between them, with Wovey, Bobbin, and Mizzen getting the task of “stay behind us and don’t die” because they’re the youngest. No one really takes it seriously, they just use the fantasy to escape their horrid reality for a second because it’s nice to imagine all of them can make it out alive, even if they know that’s not the case.

Then the arena bombings happen

Otto and Ginnee probably still die, since they died from schrapnel, but Panlo and Sheaf were far enough away to still be conscious and moving around (that last part is mostly because of adrenaline). Everyone’s caught off-guard, but someone (probably Coral) sees their chance and screams the word they discussed, and all tributes jump into action. Jessup and Lucy Gray still save their respective mentors, but because the tributes are working together the peacekeepers have been taken out so there’s no one to drag them away. Instead, all 21 remaining tributes book it as fast as they can and manage to escape the area before reinforcements arrive. They are now on the run, and cannot show their faces without getting shot on sight, but they’re alive and that’s what matters. Mizzen, Sheaf, and Treech are the best thieves of the group (Mizzen’s small and fast (he was just closer to the snakes than everyone else shut up), Sheaf is described as "a limber little girl", and Treech sneakily stole Dill’s water bottles. That’s my evidence. Also they need more love) and thus go out to scrap together anything that may be helpful.

They, being the overachieving badasses they are, get their hands on futuristic medicine to cure Dill’s tuberculosis faster than the real world ever could and help Hy manage his asthma (because it’s chronic, there’s no way they can find a cure for that just lying around even in the future). I say they’re overachieving, because Sheaf did the back handspring for food, Treech only died because of Lucy’s cheating (still getting 6th(movie)/3d(book) place, and he definitely would’ve killed her and been a real contender for the win if she hadn’t cheated), and Mizzen is 13. A 13-year-old got 5th(book)/4th(movie) place. I rest my case.

They use the newfound supplies to heal their wounds and disinfect them, Jessup doesn’t get rabies because I make the rules here, and things are good. They spend a while utilizing their unique skills to stay hidden until one of two things happen:

1) the mentors, who have gotten quite attached to their assigned tributes, fight for the games to be disbanded and rally the rest of the academy, leading to a better Panem where the Capitol and the districts become a functioning, not-dystopian nation again and everything ends well.

Or

2) the tributes manage to escape the capitol and flee into the woods, letting Lucy Grey lead them to the Covey because ain’t no way they can just go back to their own districts just yet. The covey, being nomadic, is the best place for them to stay until they’ve grown up enough to be unrecognizable from their child selves to anyone who doesn’t actually know them.

Either way, things are better. I wanted to share this because I’m sad that all these wonderful (fictional) children died for the amusement of genuine monsters (and those indoctrinated to believe district people are not people)

Edit because a lot of new people are liking this post: someone wrote it :)

[lucrezianoin]

Wyll and Astarion banter (2/2)

Collection of banter between Wyll and Astarion (you can find part 1 here). In case I will add more in the future I will use the tag "wyllstarion banter".

This one has a lot of dialogues I literally never heard of, so I wonder if some of them are not in game anymore (tho they are act 3 specific).

Astarion: I hardly saw you at the party. Did the honest and true Blade sneak off for a little fun? Wyll: No! Nothing like that at all. Astarion: Oh, but you protest too much. Now I know you were practicing your swordplay.

---

Wyll: Ah - the memories. The Blushing Mermaid's where fifteen-year-old Wyll snuck his first kiss. Astarion: You didn't kiss anyone until you were fifteen? Gods, what a tragic, sheltered life... Wyll: Sheltered? Not at all. I was exposed to all manner of riot and revelry. Hells, my father even urged me on once or twice. But I've always been a bit old-fashioned on these matters. I find more pleasure in a courtly dance than a loveless fling.

---

Astarion: I lived two centuries in this city, but it can still surprise me. Wyll: Baldur's Gate harbours many a secret. Even the longest-lived explorers have yet to uncover them all. Speaking of - what were you getting up to all those years? Astarion: Let's not get into details. If Baldur's Gate can have its secrets, so can I.

---

Wyll: Astarion, I was wrong about you. Truly wrong about you. Astarion: Let me guess - you thought I'd suck blood, but actually I just suck? Was that your witty jab? (devnote: a little tired of Wyll's bullshit) Wyll: No, I mean it. There's little between us we share. But you've fallen in love and stood by your lover. That is something this dreamer's heart can appreciate.

(this is a spawn astarion romanced dialogue)

---

(more under cut)

Astarion: Well, it's no Baldur's Gate, but at least it's some kind of civilisation. Wyll: I do miss the Gate, though. The Elfsong Tavern! Sunset over Grey Harbour! Fried fish at the docks! Astarion: Drunk young patriars, naked in the fountains! Ah, civilisation... (note: whistfully)

---

Wyll: Finally, we're approaching Moonrise Towers. Astarion: Nothing escapes the Blade of Frontiers' keen senses, I see. Wyll: Mock me all you want, Astarion. We could use a little comic relief. Astarion: Yes, that's why I'm mocking you - to keep our spirits up. No other reason...

---

Astarion: You know, I've never seen this place in the daylight before. Wyll: I always loved this park. Spent a lot of time here as a boy battling imaginary monsters. Astarion: Oh, I was going to say it looks wretched. The dark hid all the kitschy details.

---

Wyll: Astarion, I just want to say - I judged you wrongly. I'm sorry. Astarion: Really? And how - specifically - have you misjudged my fine character? Wyll: You aren't actually insufferably randy. You're just insufferable.

---

Astarion: Marriage, Wyll? I thought you'd have learned not to get trapped by devious contracts. Wyll: I was planning to invite you to the ceremony, but I'm having second thoughts. Astarion: I'd love to come! As long as I can sit with someone fun. Mizora, perhaps?

---

Wyll: I'd watch yourself, my friend. I don't know if our pale rogue has anything good in his heart, or even a scrap of it left for you. Astarion: Excuse me? That's just mean - we're all adults here. Wyll: Your heart's cold as ice, Astarion. I'm just making sure no one slips and gets hurt.

---

Wyll: As much love as I hold for Baldur's Gate, these frontiers delight me as much as any bustling street. Astarion: You can't be serious? This is a howling wasteland! I haven't even had a bath since the abduction. I must reek of ilithid slime. Wyll: Sure, but think of the stories you'll be able to tell.

---

Shadowheart: So. A vampire spawn and a monster hunter in the same group. We're not going to have trouble, are we? Astarion: Excuse me? Since this tadpole, I'm barely a monster at all. I just want to survive, same as you. Wyll: I don't see a problem, as long as mister fang there keeps his appetite in check.

---

Astarion: A question for our master monster hunter: how would you approach killing a vampire? Wyll (he knows Astarion is a vampire): A full-on vamp, you mean? Lure it into the sun, drive a stake through its heart. And that's not the end of it. The suckers are wily. No offence. Astarion: None taken. Wiliness keeps me alive. More or less.

Wyll (he doesn't know Astarion is a vampire): To start? Lure it into the sun, drive a stake through its heart. Why? Astarion: Just curious.

---

(this is about the Moonrise Oubliette)

Astarion: Admittedly, I don't care for most people, but this is a terrible waste. (note: referring to all the wasted blood) Wyll: Because their lives were cut brutally short, you mean. Astarion: I - ... yes, that. That's clearly what I was referring to. (note: pretending he wasn't referring to all the wasted blood)

[floofiestboy]

Conan Puzzle Voice Line Translations

The Conan Puzzle Match-3 gacha game has a number of voiced lines associated with its character cards. Most of these lines are anime lines or same-y game-related phrases, but there were a handful I thought were fun out of context too. I've translated them here.

[Best Friends Since Childhood] Morofushi Hiromitsu & Furuya Rei

Special Voice 1

Hiro: Woah, Zero! You sure know your way around a knife now!

Furuya: It's all thanks to you, Hiro- ow!

Hiro: That's no good. You need to curl your left hand like a cat's paw when you're cutting. You'll struggle if you ever work part-time at a café or anything if you don't fix that.

Furuya: Don't worry. I'll never work part-time at a café.

Hiro: Huh? But you might need to for an undercover assignment or-

Furuya: (stubborn, sing-songy) I definitely won't ever work at a café!

[T/N: "Curling your left hand like a cat's paw" is a common Japanese saying for how to hold your non-dominant hand when cutting vegetables.]

Special Voice 2

Furuya: Hiro! Where are you going?

Hiro: Matsuda asked me to go shopping.

Furuya: Shopping?

Hiro: He asked for a DVD called Steamy XXX Hot Springs Vacation. He said the clerk would give it to me if I told them the name. I wonder if it's a travel documentary?

Furuya: M-Matsuda, that bastard...

[A Mission They Can't Escape] Matsuda Jinpei & Furuya Rei

Special Voice 1

Furuya: Matsuda! Fix my alarm clock, would you?

Matsuda: Why?

Furuya: It rings an entire thirty minutes later than I set it to. That means I'm late waking you all up as well...

Matsuda: Isn't that a good thing? It means we can sleep in thirty minutes longer.

Furuya: Matsuda... don't tell me you were the one to break my clock...

Matsuda: *innocent whistling*

Special Voice 2

Matsuda: Zero! You call Morofushi "Hiro", yeah?

Furuya: Yes. We're childhood friends, after all.

Matsuda: Gimme a nickname too. Something cool like "Hiro" or "Zero".

Furuya: Hm, I wonder... what about "Ero"?

Matsuda: E-Ero?

Furuya: Don't you like it? It rhymes with Hiro and Zero too.

Matsuda: Please just stick with Matsuda.

[T/N: In case you're unaware, "ero" means perverted in Japanese.]

[Aiming To Become a Police Officer] Date Wataru & Furuya Rei

Special Voice 1

Furuya: Leader, I'm sure you know this already, but don't tell anyone I'm in Public Safety.

Date: Yeah. I'm telling anyone who asks that I dunno what you're doing or where.

Furuya: Thank you, leader. I'm currently infiltrating an extremely dangerous organization, after all.

Date: But still, drop me a line sometime, yeah? Only seeing you when we pay our respects to graves is kinda, y'know.

Furuya: Understood. Now then, I'll be seeing you next when we go pay our respects next year.

Date: Hey hey hey.

Special Voice 2

Furuya: Everyone was so shocked to learn you have a girlfriend.

Date: This again? You guys are way too shocked about this!

Furuya: Well, I thought it wouldn't be strange if you had a girlfriend.

Date: No, I'm pretty sure you were really shocked too.

[Childhood Friends Who Know Each Other Inside And Out] Matsuda Jinpei & Hagiwara Kenji

Special Voice 1

Hagiwara: Jinpei-chan!

Matsuda: What's up, Hagi?

Hagiwara: I'm going out on a blind group date again, but we don't have enough guys... lemme count on you again!

Matsuda: Don't wanna. You'll just take all the girls for yourself even if I go.

Hagiwara: I see... I guess I won't be showing you this video of my sister waking up in bed then...

Matsuda: That group date. Where, what date, and what time might it be? Kenji-kun.

Special Video 2

Hagiwara: Woaaaah, Jinpei-chan. You've sure got a lot disassembled here.

Matsuda: Hell yeah. It's super fun.

Hagiwara: It looks like a car, but... what are you planning to do to it?

Matsuda: I'm gonna give it gull-wing doors like a plane. Since he was going on about the Mitsubishi A6M Zero fighter jet and all.

Hagiwara: W-Wait, this car- don't tell me-

Matsuda: It's our demon instructor's RX-7!

[T/N: Gull-wing doors are doors that are hinged at the roof rather than the side (per Wikipedia)]

[A Dramatic Escape By The Skin Of Their Teeth] Hattori Heiji & Edogawa Conan

Special Voice 1

Hattori: This puzzle game sure is fun!

Conan: So, Hattori? What did you actually come here to do?

Hattori: Like I said, ta visit ya!

Conan: Huh? Just for that for real?

Hattori: Why not, eh? It's us!

Special Voice 2

Hattori: I gotchu now, Kudo!

Conan: Not so fast, Hattori.

Hattori: Well played... I'd expect no less from the Great Detective of the East!

Conan: But well, we're playing a puzzle game, not having a deductive battle...

[Executing a Top-Secret Mission] Kazami Yuuya & Furuya Rei

Special Voice 1

Furuya: Shall we go rest somewhere after this?

Kazami: Thank you for your consideration.

Furuya: Come now. We're going.

Kazami: Yes, sir!

Special Voice 2

Kazami: Thank you for your hard work. You were perfect again today, Furuya-san.

Furuya: Kazami. You did well.

Kazami: T-Thank you very much.

[The Santa Freeloading At the Kudo Mansion] Okiya Subaru

Special Voice 1

Okiya: Huh? You think I'm overexcited? I don't believe so. Though I'm certainly looking forward to Christmas.

[Merry Christmas!!] Edogawa Conan & Okiya Subaru

Special Voice 1

Okiya: So you're a reindeer? How nice.

Conan: I don't have a red nose though...

Special Voice 2

Conan: You made that cake, Subaru-san?

Okiya: It's Christmas, after all. I couldn't miss the opportunity.

Conan: You're surprisingly into this.

Akai Shuuichi (Various)

Voice Line

Akai: There's times when one can't speak the truth in order to protect someone. But if possible, I'd prefer not to lie to you.

Voice Line

Akai: I'd like to understand you more than anyone else, right by your side. So I'd like you to be sincere to your feelings in front of me as well.

Morofushi Hiromitsu (Various)

Voice Line

Hiro: It's important not to get too heated. Else, you might lose sight of what's truly precious to you.

Furuya Rei (Various)

Voice Line

Furuya: I feel quite the allure from you. It's normal to feel drawn to the strong, no?

Voice Line

Furuya: I trust you. So don't do anything to betray that trust, won't you?

Voice Line

Furuya: It's fine to throw yourself into solving puzzles, but I'd like you to pay some attention to me as well.

Voice Line

Furuya: Lies are sometimes necessary. Like lies you tell yourself in order to surpass your own limits.

Voice Line

Furuya: There's times when one must carry something through to the end, even if it means sacrifice.

Voice Line

Furuya: There's times when hatred can become one's strength. Though I can't say whether that's right.

Voice Line

Furuya: Forgoing sleep and food to throw yourself into something… there's times in this world when that's necessary.

[xlovingcupcakex]

M!Kylar x F!Reader - Gaming (Part 1)

You and Kylar meet through League. Two dorks in love. Fluff. I could make it into GN!Reader but I need the reader to be female for the next part, so yeah. There's not much League things, it's more like a plot device. So anyone can read it, even if you don't play league I made it pretty vague on purpose. As always, love y'all!

No trigger warnings, unless you count in League. Kylar is Kylar. Yeah.

2.1k Words. Not including headcanons.

As your game came to an end, the bold letters flashed on the screen. Although the game wasn’t won, you still had a lot of fun. Especially since your support was good, and it seemed like the both of you had a good synergy.  

It was no surprise that you sent them a friend request and an invite to your next game, hoping to play some more with them. A feeling of joy rose up in your stomach as they accepted both invitations, their preferred lane positions already picked and ready. You were already ready to start the next game as well.  

As you started up the queue, you asked them the basics, getting to know them better. If your synergy together was as good as you suspected, you definitely wanted to play more with them. And you for sure wanted to keep them around if that was the case! Making new friends in-game was fun, after all.  

Music played on Spotify as your anonymous support was answering your questions. The answers were short and curt, giving your duo an aura of mystery around them. However, in the end you found out a few things about your lane partner.  

First off, they were a man, and his name was Kylar. He was also around the same age as you, he even studies computer science! Although his answers were short, his questions about you were plentiful. You answered most of them without a second thought, as long as they weren’t questions about your exact location. However, you didn’t mind giving him a vague answer, like which major city you live close to.  

You also made sure to cheer him up through the messages as best as you could when something didn’t work out on bot lane. His Nami was on point, he was actively using his ability to slow down the enemy, only to follow up with a bubble that would stun them, thus giving you a kill. But sometimes, things didn’t work out the way they were supposed to, all thanks to random visits from the enemy, which would catch both of you off guard.  

But you made sure to calm him down each time, giving sweet words of encouragement, effectively bringing him back to his composed state almost immediately, or at least, it looked that way after you saw his playstyle improve. You also made sure to praise him each time he did something good. Although you weren’t sure if it had any impact on him because of the lack of voice chat, you still hoped you made his day, since he kept writing back “Thank you.” each time you gave him a compliment.   

Unbeknownst to you, Kylar was a melting mess behind his computer screen after each time you have him a compliment. You were so nice and so easy to talk to! Not to mention, you were really good at the game. And you knew what to say to him to make him calm down. It’s like it was fate for both of you to meet!  

Oh, how much fun does he have playing with you. He was actually the first one to ask you to play with him next day, too. Kylar spent the whole day being online as soon as he woke up, since he didn’t want to miss you and he really, really wanted to spend more time with you. He has made sure to give you lots of compliments as well that day. 

Hiding behind the screen gave him the anonymity, hence making him more courageous. You appeared slightly later than usual, which made him worry as he started to overthink as to why you could be late by two hours compared to your usual time. So, it’s no wonder he went ahead and asked subtly, disguised under the pretext of asking how your day was.  

Oh, so you had to do some grocery runs and buy a few things! Oh, it’s getting colder, and you bought some sweaters, as well! He was sure you looked so good in the virgin killer you bought. Kylar is so sure you bought it for a potential meeting with him, his Darling dressing up all nice and pretty just for him.  

Although he didn’t know how you looked like yet, he was sure you were just the most beautiful Goddess on earth. It’s impossible for someone as kind and nurturing as you to not be beautiful to him! 

He could only hope that you felt the same excitement whenever you spent time with him. You had to. Otherwise, why spend time with him? You surely had a thing for him too. You had to.  

The more you played with Kylar the more attached you got. He was fun to text to and play with, and his mysterious nature made you more curious about him. You tried asking more questions over the last few weeks and lately, you’ve been curious about what he sounds like. At some point your head made up a deep voice, fitting for his mysterious personality.  

It didn’t take long for you to take matters into your own hands, asking him whether not he wanted to join a Discord call with you. You were so ready to hear his voice. The thought actually made you all giddy and excited. As you exchanged Discord nicknames, you glanced at the screen. His nickname was Yamada-Kun, the same as his in-game nickname. He also had a picture of Yamada from ‘leveling up Yamada-Kun to lv999’.  

Your heartbeat quickened up as you clicked the call button, ready to hear Kylar’s voice for the first time. Kylar answered instantly, which surprised you. You barely even heard the Discord call noise; you were instantly connected to a call with him.  

Kylar shuffled about in his room, stumbling over his things. His hands felt shaky. His hands were sweating. He dried his hands by brushing them against his pants, hopefully less sweaty now. Kylar was so excited that he knocked over the microphone by mistake! Getting it took some time, since he had to be sneaky about it, but it was so worth it. Now his Darling can hear him in the highest possible quality! He was such a good boyfriend for you! 

As the microphone fell, you shrank a little at the noise, curious as to what happened. “Hello?” you said. “Is everything okay, Kylar?”. 

Your voice was so nice to him, so pretty and calming. It felt so good to hear you that he almost forgot about the microphone completely. He gingerly picked it up and placed it back on his desk. Then, he cleared his throat. “Y-Yeah, I’m good. My microphone just fell.” 

Oh, he did not sound like you expected. Not in a bad way, of course! You didn’t expect him to sound so shy and nervous, that’s all. But it was so cute that you just had to tease him. 

“Feels good to finally hear you, my Dear Duo! I was so excited. And I’m still excited for playing today. You ready?” 

Although you couldn’t see it, Kylar was nodding his head repeatedly, black locks of hair flying around and messing up his hairstyle, making it more messy than usual. “Y-Yeah, that sounds absolutely great, my Lovely.” 

Oh, he was using back pet names as well. He was so shy you thought he wouldn’t use it. You leaned back in your chair, pulling up League and logging it, then picking your preferred role to play before inviting Kylar to the game.  

God, his voice was so nice to listen to, even with all the stuttering and occasional voice cracks when he complimented you on nice actions you did in-game. It was so soft and delicate. Your ears felt hot and you felt a flush come to your cheeks as you listened to his voice. You desperately wanted to hear more, so you gradually asked him more questions, which he seemed to answer gladly, happy to satisfy your curiosity.  

The atmosphere on call was comfortable and it was nice to talk to someone during ranked games. Whenever he gave you a compliment or used a pet name, each time more confident than the other, you felt your stomach buzzing with energy.  

You reflected the same energy back to him. You did have some kind of crush on him. But that’s because he seemed so curt and mysterious in the beginning, and now you found yourself falling for how cute and shy he was being on voice.  

Your throat sometimes squeezed up, making it harder for you to say what you wanted. You didn’t even notice when you started to get nervous whenever you complimented him. Or used a pet name. You don’t remember when the last time was you felt so hot and giddy around someone else.  

But you knew that the feeling, despite it being slightly uncomfortable, made you feel mostly good. Happy.  

With how cold it was getting lately, your hands started to gradually become cold, to a point where you just couldn’t bear it anymore.  

“I think I should lay down and heat up, Kylar. My hands are cold as fuck.” You said. You exited the game and started to slowly close up other tabs you might have had open.  

“You could lay down a-and I’ll stream for you, Love! P-Please stay!” he sounded so desperate, it almost made you feel bad for wanting to go and lie down. A chuckle left your lips. He was so adorable. Like a bunny. 

“Sure. I’ll call from my phone in a few minutes. Need to change into my night clothes. Be right back, Darling!” and so you ended the call. You got ready and as soon as you laid in the bed, Kylar instantly called you, almost as if knowing you are in bed already. Huh. He must have some crazy 6th sense.  

You answered the call, getting comfortable under the covers. You already felt warmer, but not warm enough. Kylar pulled up some videos on YouTube as you guys chatted. Soon enough, he changed to Osu instead, showing you off his skill. Trying his best to impress you.  

“Jesus, my hands still feel so cold. F-fuck, my whole body is cold.” you mindlessly complained, snuggling more into the comfort of your quilt and soft pillows, impatiently waiting for your body to generate enough warmth. 

“I can be your blanket, Love!”  

You almost choked on your salvia as your breath hitched, suddenly feeling shy as you mulled over his words. He wants to cuddle you. Or was it something else? You felt so light-headed you weren’t really sure. You hid your face in your covers. 

“S-Sure. And I can be your pillow.” 

This time it was Kylar’s turn to blush. He stopped whatever he was doing in Osu, his brain short circuiting. He destroyed his own streak on the current Osu map he was playing and because of the level difficulty you soon heard an old retro melody that would signal that the map has been failed.  

His hands felt... Grabby. He desperately wanted to hug you. Feel you under his fingers. Give you the warmth you need. Slightly sweaty, too. He gulped. 

“W-We should meet up, if you really want to c-cuddle, Love.... Can we meet? Please, Love. I want to meet with you so badly. Give me the address and I’ll come as fast as possible, no matter how far you are.” 

His phone was already in the palm of his hand, looking up how far the busses and trains in his area would cost and how far they can take him. He was pretty serious about it.  

You felt so embarrassed by your words. You gripped your pillow tighter, bringing it close to your chest. You were unsure on what to say as you contemplated your next words. You really wanted that hug. 

“Okay, but... Only if you are somehow not that far away. Okay? You can come to (address)” you said. It wasn’t your home, but a place that was near enough. A gas station. A place where there are always people. It’s late and it would be the safest.  

Kylar immediately looked up the place and noticed it’s 40 minutes away by buss. He started grinning, a red flush took over his cheeks, reaching his ears and neck. He gripped his phone tighter, already packing things he might need into his bag.  

“G-Great. I’ll be there in an hour and a half! Jus-st wait for me, Love!” he ended the call, getting ready to meet up with you as fast as possible while you collected yourself and thought about what you have gotten yourself into.  

-------------------------

A few other things I've thought about while writing this one.

Some Kylar headcanons ahead!

They are probably into Otome dating games.  

In games like Osu! or Killing Floor, they are a casual player.  

More competitive games make them aggressive, although they don’t show it on chat if there’s a penalty. 

They do, however, make noises/sounds of frustration, maybe slamming their hand against the desk or keyboard, but never anything full-on destructive. 

Of course, Kylar will hold those reactions back when playing with you! 

To be honest, you have a calming effect on them.  

I feel like Kylar would be a Nami main when it comes to support, alternatively other cute champs like Lulu, Soraka, Lux. But enjoys an occasional Pyke or Senna.  

You bet they play anime songs/openings, Hatsune Miku or other Japanese music while beating the maps on Osu! 

If they are not playing anime songs/openings, they sure as fuck play emo/scene music. Pierce The Veil, Breaking Benjamin, Asking Alexandra. Sounds about right to me. Oh yeah, also listens to Night Core.  

I feel like at first, they would be court and short when it comes to messages. Mostly because they are shy and so they would seem cold at first. And yeah, you can’t hear their stuttering. 

But writing stutters and such also suits them lmao. I think they would use a lot of (…) whenever they write something. 

I am sure they would be voiceless at first because they would need to steal a microphone/headphones with microphone first, just so they can talk to you. 

[hyuckmov]

haechan — fallingforyou

bestfriend!haechan x reader, (feat. best friend mark, mentions of yeri) 5k, unrequited love angst for the most part, a bit of fluff, a happy ending this time, christmas and new years eve season vibes a/n: this is loosely based on 'fallingforyou' by the 1975 because...'i don't wanna be your friend/i wanna kiss your neck' but also hopefully its a little more than that...this goes out to all of you who've been in love with your best friend :) i'm scared there's more mark than haechan in this LOL also for someone who doesn't write long prose 5k is a little amazing for me </3 lmk if you like it thru my asks!

1 dec

you were only having this conversation with mark because haechan couldn’t make it for movie night. 

movie nights without haechan were a quiet affair. with no one clamoring over which movie to put on and insisting on playing a series of games to decide, with no arguments over snacks or blankets or which lights to turn off, you and mark sat down and easily picked a movie from the watch-list. things were peaceful. until mark decided to bring up a topic you had sincerely hoped he wouldn’t. 

“hey, i have to ask…” he sat up from where he was slumped on the couch. not paying him much attention, you nodded so he knew you were listening. “have you really never had feelings for haechan?” 

turning over to look at him, you groaned. “mark we’ve been through this…” 

he slid off the couch and joined you on the floor, pressing pause on the movie so there was silence instead. “give me your honest answer.” 

you truly, genuinely, hated whenever he brought this up. you hated whenever anyone would ask whether you and haechan were dating, or if he had a crush on you, or any other variation of how are you only friends? truthfully, you hate it because whenever someone asks, you imagine it for a split second: it puts feelings and images in your head that are difficult to forget, and before you know it you can’t act normal around your best friend for about the next two weeks. 

but then you embarrass yourself: you linger too long on his hands over the popcorn, you stare a little too much when he’s across the table during dinner, and haechan notices. he laughs in your face, and that makes you drop any other feelings you have settling in your stomach. business as usual. lather rinse repeat. 

mark is still looking at you, his wide eyes telling you he really wants to talk it out this time. mark is a big believer in having all your feelings out, and in ‘open communication’. you’re surprised that it’s been 4 months since he brought up the issue. 

“mark, just tell me what you want to say.” 

“okay.” he pauses, and you can see him lay out his line of reasoning in his head. “what would you do if haechan told you he had a big project due and he was stuck at the library working on it?” 

“i would go over there and help him.” you say, without thinking much about it. “i did that, actually. literally last week.” 

“okay, cool, you’re a good friend.” mark takes a breath, “what would you do if haechan told you, that right now at this very moment, he really wanted to eat ramen.” 

you raised your eyebrows because that wasn’t out of character for haechan at all. “go over there with ramen in a pot.” 

mark nods, but he’s just warming up. “it’s midnight right now, in case you were wondering. it’s also raining outside, but i’ll move on. how many times have you helped haechan just over this past week?” 

you’re beginning to catch on to what he’s implying. “we’re friends. that’s what good, loyal, friends do. we help each other out!” 

“i’m not finished.” 

“well, hurry up with your point and less with the hypotheticals.” you turn back to the tv, and you are about to press play on the movie when mark asks- 

“do you say i love you to each other?” 

your reply of ‘yes” sticks in your throat. yes you do. frequently. but its a throwaway comment, its how you end phonecalls, its what you say before you step out of the door. neither of you mean it. do you? “we don’t mean it.” you settle on your answer. 

“he might not mean it.” mark sighs. “think about it y/n. you’ve blown off dates with people who were interested in you just because haechan wanted to hang out. you’re with him almost every second of every day. you would drop everything just to do something he asked. you don’t do that for me, that’s for certain.” you open your mouth to protest, and he quickly adds “not that i mind. i know we’re good friends. i’m just saying.” 

“what are you saying?” 

mark takes a deep breath. “you treat haechan like your boyfriend.” 

the words settle in your brain for a second. you want to say you don’t, but you think a little deeper. if you and haechan were in a relationship, what would you do differently? where would things change? we would be kissing you think. then, fuck. why am i thinking about kissing haechan? then, if this is love, then yes i’m in love with him.

but mark hasn’t finished his thought. “you think of haechan as your boyfriend, you act like you’re his girlfriend, and i’m only bringing this up today because…” 

“he doesn’t.” your eyes meet mark’s, and in that second, the both of you understand each other far better than can be put into words. 

10 dec

you really hate that mark brought it up. and this time, it feels a bit different than before, because mark has really made some points. do you act like you’re his girlfriend? should you stop? should you scale back? it would be horrible if you just wasted all this apparent girlfriend-isms on your best friend. 

“is something wrong today?” you’re having your weekly lunches with haechan at the cafe near the library, and he’s sitting across from you, and everything is normal: you’re at your regular seat, with your regular choice of lunch in front of you, and haechan is telling you about some way mark messed up the microwave last night. but also everything isn’t normal, because you’re back in the depths of pondering your relationship with haechan, and suddenly you’re wondering if this could be a date in some other universe. 

“nothing’s wrong.” you poke at your food. “so are you getting a new microwave?” 

“y/n i’m serious. did something happen? you’re being really…” he squints his eyes as he examines you closely, and somehow this makes your cheeks feel warm. you can’t look at him in the eyes. “you’re just…you keep not looking at me. why aren’t you looking at me? do you know something?” 

“know what?” suddenly, you’re attentive: know something? your mind is going wild with all the possibilities, because it’s beginning to sound like…

does he like you and he’s afraid you found out? 

“nothing” he says, far too quickly, and it makes your heart beat a little faster. 

“what are you keeping from me?” now you’re on the offensive, and you watch haechan duck his head to avoid your gaze. 

“i’ll tell you when i’m ready”, he mumbles and checks his phone for the time. ��fuck. i have to go for class now.” 

“okay!” you’re a little breathless from all the thinking. an awkward kind of silence fills the space as he puts things into his bag, determinedly not looking in your direction. impulsively, you add, “you can tell me anything, you know that right?” 

“i know that. i guess i’m just…” he shoulders one of the straps on his backpack, and pauses to look at you. “i’m just scared of what might happen.” 

you’re hoping against hope. maybe this time things will be different. “i’ll wait. things will be okay, i’m sure of it.” 

“okay.” he smiles and stands up to go. and before you can lose your nerve, you say, as quickly and hopefully easily as you can: 

“loveyoubye!” 

he turns and his face breaks out into a wide smile. “bye y/n. love you. see you later.” 

maybe you do act like he’s yours. but maybe mark was wrong, because sometimes you think he acts like you’re his too. 

17 dec

it’s been a week, and whatever it was, you’re wondering if that moment in a cafe was completely hallucinated. 

haechan doesn’t bring up whatever he was keeping from you. you don’t want to push him, because good things take time, don’t they? you ask mark if he has any idea what it’s about, but apart from telling you not to get your hopes up, he doesn’t have a clue either. you think you could maybe go on living like this: delusional over the fact that your best friend might like you. ready at any moment to return the feelings but ready at any moment to also pretend like nothing ever happened. 

except maybe you couldn’t, because this whole situation has made the i love yous ever more painful. 

after the next movie night, when you’re about to head to your own flat, you stand around, putting on your shoes and taking them off again while haechan busies himself in his kitchen. mark had already left, leaving you one last skeptical look before he headed out. you want to tell haechan you love him, just to hear him say it back — but every time gets a bit harder because it means something a little realer. “haechan!” 

“yeah?” he walks out, still holding a plate. “get home safe y/n. text me when you get back.” 

“okay, goodnight.” you walk out of the door, and as casually as you can: “love you.” 

“mmhm. love you too.” haechan’s already gone when you turn back. 

as the days turn colder, december seeping into christmas in all its stories of love in the winter and warm fireplaces, it becomes a mini game for you: how many times could you get haechan to say he loved you, just to hear it? ending each phone call with love yous, that you just manage not to stumble over. facetiming at night, and waiting to say it but not getting a chance to as he falls asleep. in the library before haechan’s class, you take too long deciding how you should say it: i love you, or just love you! bye, love you! or love you bye! and haechan has already left, with a wave. 

you say it to his face once: as he’s adjusting the hood on your sweater for you before you leave the restaurant, and his face is so close to yours that you can count his eyelashes. and its so endearing, how his eyes crinkle into a smile, his hands brushing the hair out of your eyes, as he says it back. 

each time he does say it, you let it warm you from the inside out. you let yourself imagine that he means it, and it’s enough for you, just for now. 

20 dec

so your guard is truly down when he shows up to dinner at your apartment. you made kimchi jjigae, haechan’s favorite, and mark had come over too. the plates were cleared, but all of you lingered around the dining table for a while, talking quietly about little things, enjoying the warmth of the living room even as it gets colder and colder outside. 

haechan is a little tipsy from the soju mark brought over. his cheeks are dusted with red, and he’s becoming increasingly touchy: his hands playing with your fingers and his head gently tilted to rest against yours. you like it a little too much, and you could get used to it. you wonder if he’ll tell you he loves you today. 

“mark. y/n.” he swallows. “i asked yeri out today.” 

and just like that, the delusion from the past month, the confidence you’ve gained from knowing your feelings and imagining that maybe he returned them, all your i love yous and all of his, begin to feel like a cruel joke. 

mark is looking at you. carefully, he says, “that’s great haechan. i didn’t know you liked her.” 

haechan smiles: you can feel it against your shoulder. “me neither.” still playing with your fingers, “i think one day, i was sitting next to her in class, and i realised.” 

you think you’ve stopped breathing. normally, your silence would have been suspicious, and he should have noticed: should have turned to you, squinting, trying to figure out your opinion. but clearly you’re the last thing on his mind. “that’s so sweet. what did she say?” you try to sound excited, and you push him off of you like you can’t wait to hear the rest of the story, but really you just want to be away. 

“she said yes.” haechan laughs a little at that, and he’s so happy. “we’re going to the christmas party together. and the new years eve party.” 

mark laughs too, but his eyes never leave your face. “will you she be your new year’s kiss?” 

haechan’s eyes widen. “dude i didn’t even think about that. sure.” he leans back, and looks up at the ceiling and you know he’s thinking about her. you’re not thinking of anything.

later, as you’re both cleaning up the kitchen, haechan stops you gently with a hand on your wrist. he seems to have sobered a little, because the cloudy look in his eyes are gone. “i’m sorry i didn’t tell you. i was really scared i would make a big deal out of it if i told you and mark, only to get rejected.” he smiles a little. 

you nod a little, not sure how to respond. but then he looks at you with his eyebrows furrowed, and he takes your hands in his. “are you mad at me? i’m really sorry. i promise i’ll never keep anything from you again. i love you, and y-you’re my best friend.” 

and instantly, you want to hold on to him so badly that you don’t want to do anything that might drive him away. 

“i’m not mad at you.” and because you’re just a little selfish, you pull him in for a hug. just one last one, before everything changes. “i’m really really happy for you haechan.” and just because you’re such a good friend, the one who puts him before you always, you add as you pull away: “we should probably stop saying i love you. yeri might get the wrong idea.” 

he laughs a little. “you’re right. thanks y/n.” 

x

it’s a mark of how good a friend mark is that he walks haechan to the crosswalk before saying he left something at your place, and doubles back. 

when you swing open the door, the first thing he says is “i’m so sorry, i swear i didn’t know anything. it just happened.” and it’s that which makes it real, and makes you start to cry. he spends the rest of the night patting at your hair as you mess up his hoodie with your tears, his “i knows” punctuating your incoherent rants about how it should be you. because it should be you, but also there’s no reason for it to be, at all. and there’s nothing you can do. 

25 dec

mark solemnly promises he will watch over you for the whole christmas party. “just in case you get drunk and try to ruin yourself, or them.” he says. you tell him you don’t need someone watching you, and tell him to enjoy his christmas night, but he waves you off and slings an arm around your shoulder, for which you are grateful. it’s mostly been you and him this past week, haechan often busy with a date or another activity, and you’re a little grateful for that because seeing him in the flesh makes it hurt far more than all the hypothesizing you do in your head. 

it’s only 2 hours into the party, more people trickling in by the hour, and already he’s started a game with you where you point out possible people for you to go out with. both he and you know you would never make a move, as evidenced from what happened between you and the person we are pretending is not holding hands with his maybe girlfriend right now. but it’s fun to hypothesise. 

“he looks nice.” mark points at a boy you recognise as jaemin, who’s inspecting the back of your television.

“maybe.” you tilt your head, thinking about it. “he has a nice smile. oh and he helped me with calculus the other day — that was really nice of him.” 

“so you know him!” mark beams at you. “you should ask him what he’s doing with your tv.” 

“ask who what?” and the little bubble you’ve been sitting with mark in for the night is suddenly gone, because haechan has wandered over to the two of you, yeri following behind and smiling widely. he’s wearing a red striped sweater, the one that you picked out for him, and it looks so good that you curse a little internally.

“y/n was thinking of asking jaemin out.” mark says, swiftly. his arm tightens around your shoulder, encouraging you to stay calm. 

haechan looks taken aback. “you’ve never mentioned jaemin to me.” 

“i don’t have to tell you everything. you certainly don’t.” it’s a little mean, and not at all how you would speak with him usually but the way his fingers are interlaced with yeri’s is making you feel jumpy and annoyed. mark is giving you wide eyes, but he tries to pass it off with a laugh. 

“sorry. she’s just mean because she’s drunk.” you haven’t had a sip of alcohol the entire night, but you play along, and try to avoid haechan’s eyes. 

“sorry.” you mumble. haechan is still looking at you suspiciously, but yeri presses herself into his side and his expression clears. 

“yeri wanted to say thank you for hosting the party.” he smiles at her, like there’s something the two of them share. you think you’re going to be sick, but mark has been answering for you far too much. 

“thank you for coming. hope you had fun!” you smile as graciously as you can, but you tug on mark’s jacket with your other hand. “sorry, excuse us, we want to go say hi to jaemin for a bit.” 

mark helps you hop off the kitchen counter, steadying you with an arm as you look around the room for ‘jaemin’. the entire time, haechan watches, not sure why he can’t stop noticing how the two of you are acting, and how this is the first time he’s really seen the two of you so close. he wonders when you’ve ever been this comfortable linking arms with mark, or putting your head on his shoulder, and why hadn’t he noticed before? 

“wait-” he blurts out. you look at him questioningly. “be careful.” 

irritated at him, for making you talk to him and look at him like this, you respond “what?” a little too aggressively. you really can’t control it today. 

“with jaemin.” if you were still delusional, which you are trying very hard not to be, you would almost say it was as if he was making up what to say as he was saying it. “i heard he’s really rude. and not nice to date. at all.” 

you raise your eyebrows, because you know that anyone who’s met jaemin would never say that about him. “sure haechan. merry christmas.” 

and just like that, you leave him and yeri in the kitchen, mark guiding you through the crowd easily. jaemin is nowhere to be seen, so the both of you go to your bedroom, where you spend the rest of the night, mark valiantly trying to cheer you up by playing christmas songs for you on the guitar. 

and if haechan slipped away from the party to stand outside your bedroom, listening to you laughing and requesting mark do the high note from all i want for christmas is you again, you were none the wiser. 

but all you did know, was that when you and mark came out of the bedroom to kick everyone out of your apartment, haechan and yeri were kissing under the mistletoe, his hands wrapped around her waist, and her hands cupping his cheeks. you cheer loudly along with everyone else, and give him an aggressive thumbs up when he looks over at you and mark. you’re beginning to think you want to spend new years eve alone. 

31 dec

you were only having this conversation with haechan because the both of you were stuck, in your car, on the way to a new years eve party you swore you didn’t want to go to, because mark couldn’t make it. 

over the phone, he was really sorry. “i had no idea, but i have a family dinner tonight that i can’t get out of it. i’m really sorry y/n. don’t go to the party if you don’t want to.” 

“of course i don’t want to.” spending new year’s eve alone was bad, but it would be worse if you had to watch yeri and haechan kiss to seal their love forevermore as the clock struck midnight. “i’ll watch a good movie, and go to sleep. i might not even stay up for it. it’s just another night.” 

but that didn’t happen. haechan showed up at your door, breathless and panicked. his car broke down, and he had to go to the new years eve party to meet yeri, so could he please please please borrow your car? and could you please please please come with him, because he didn’t want to drive over alone? as you handed him your keys, seated in the passenger’s seat, in last year’s new year’s eve dress and mark’s huge hoodie over it, the words “you would drop everything just to do something he asked” rang in your head. 

would you go to a new years eve party if he asked, one that you weren’t planning on going to, in the middle of the night, even if you knew it would likely bring you immense pain? yes apparently, you would. apparently, you still treated him like your boyfriend when he was about to be someone else’s. 

haechan keeps looking over at you. how do you look so pretty, in the middle of the night, just getting ready for bed? and why are you wearing mark’s hoodie? “i’m really sorry for making you go out like this.” 

you wave him off. “it’s fine.” softer, “you know i’d do anything for you.” 

cars moved slowly around you, and their tail lights shone in a bright red lane all the way down busy highway. very soon, the car was barely moving. the two of you sitting there, stuck, as the clock on the dashboard blinked 11:40. running his hands on the top of the steering wheel, haechan spoke up first. “when did you get so close to mark?” 

“huh?” you’re genuinely confused. “why would you say that.” 

“you’ve just been a lot closer with him recently.” 

“we’ve always been friends.” you don’t want to say anything too cutting, anything that would make the silence in the car too heavy, but there is no other way to put it. “you’ve been busy.” with yeri hangs unspoken in the air — but its true. and you don’t even blame them. if haechan was your boyfriend, you would want to spend every second of the christmas season with him. “mark has just…been there.” 

haechan doesn’t reply to that. the car inches slowly forward. the song that plays from your phone is slow and deep, and when you look at the lights on his face, his eyes unfocused on the road you realise you just want to reach across the seat and wrap your arms around him. 

you think of skipping the song or switching to a christmas radio station, but you can’t bring yourself to ruin it. 

“y/n i.” haechan finally takes a deep breath. “i don’t know if its selfish of me, but i just feel like i’ve been losing you and i don’t know how to be back in your life in the way that we were.” 

the way we were. “haechan, i don’t think the way we were…was very good for us.” 

“what do you mean?” haechan turns, and looks at you. halfheartedly, you point to the road ahead, but the cars aren’t moving, and his eyes are focused on you. 

“have you ever really thought about what we were to each other?” you blame the lights. you blame the song. and you blame the fact that the clock reads 11:49, and you just want to be honest, maybe just for once in this cursed holiday season. “haechan, my life revolved around you. you were everything to me. and all i needed at the end of the day was just, you smiling at me, or you telling me you…” you can’t finish the sentence. you won’t. 

his heart snags on the were. the was. “i didn’t realize.” 

“well it did. and now you’re unhappy because i’m not just waiting for you to reply to my messages, or pick up my calls, because i’m spending time with mark now.” you are picking the entirely wrong fight. the whole argument is wrong, and you know it, but you look stubbornly out at the window. this confrontation was not going to turn into a confession, not when you were both on the way to literally help him kiss someone else. 

“i’m not unhappy.” haechan says, slowly. “i just…” the car behind you honks, and he hurriedly moves the car forward, but soon stops again. traffic on new years eve was impossible. “i lied that day.” you look over at him, unsure what he was talking about. “i didn’t ask yeri out. she asked me out.” 

you take a moment to process this, but it doesn’t really change anything. “okay.”

“and, i guess i never really thought about her that way before. but she just asked, and suddenly i realised that maybe i did like her. it’s weird, it kind of felt like after she asked me out all of our casual conversations in class just took on a different meaning. i’d never even really thought about her that way before, and suddenly it made sense.” 

why was he telling you this ?! you think love truly brings out the worst in people, because you wanted to jump out of the car instantly. you had to be happy for him, and there was no mark to act as a buffer. you’re about to say something, when he continues on. 

“i told you and mark that night because i waited for you to ask me why i really liked her. or really just, i don’t know, help me figure out exactly how i felt about her.” he ran his hand through his hair. “but i guess you just didn’t say anything and i just kind of went with it.” 

“well…” you try to disengage yourself from the situation. it sounded like haechan really valued your opinion, as a friend, and you hadn’t been there for him. “sorry. i guess it just took us by surprise.” you cringe as you realise that by speaking on mark’s behalf, it really did seem as if you were leaving haechan out. “took me by surprise, i mean. well, do you like her?” 

he laughs a little at that. “it’s a bit late for that, isn’t it?” 

“it’s never too late to rethink how you feel about someone.” you say, quietly. 

haechan looks over at you, and it’s his gaze: as if he’s looking for the answer in your eyes, that makes you look away. you glance at the clock, and suddenly you freeze. 11:58. you scramble to put on the radio. “fuck, haechan we’re not gonna make it.” 

“y/n-” 

“you should call yeri and tell her you’re going to be late. she’ll be really mad if you don’t show up. she must be really worried-” 

“y/n, please listen to me.” he takes both hands off the wheel, reaches out and holds your face in his hands. the radio announcer has just flickered on: the countdown has started. “i’m just going to say it. that day in the cafe: i was afraid you knew something. actually, i was afraid you realized that i liked you. every day, i would wait for you to say i love you, because i wanted to have a reason to say it, even if it was to say it back. i thought about how much you cared about me and i thought if i thought about you less, if i payed attention to other people, if i let more people into my life, it would be easier just being your friend." 

‘5!’

“but it’s not.” 

‘4!’

“it didn’t get easier, and i just miss you-”

‘3!’

“-every day because i think-” 

‘2!’

“i really think that…” 

‘1!’ 

and he doesn’t even bother finishing his sentence. he leans in, and kisses you. your head is wiped of everything he just said. you don’t think of yeri, you don’t think of mark, you don’t think about the afternoon at the cafe or that moment you saw under the mistletoe. you’re wrapped up in him, in the smell of his perfume. the graze of his fingertips against your cheek. and you reach out over the console, and wrap your arms around his waist like you always wanted to. 

when you break apart, the radio announcer wishing everyone a happy new year, he mumbles. “didn’t get to finish my confession.” 

you laugh and lean forward, to kiss him again. the cars on the road had all stopped, and you think that maybe the whole universe has been waiting for this moment. “i’ll do it for you. i think i really like you haechan. i think i love you.” 

and you think maybe it’s not so cruel, to sit with your best friend, who you are in love with, and who loves you back, the kiss still buzzing on your lips, as you watch the fireworks in the sky, the voice on the radio singing in the new year.

[6okuto]

Listen… you said we could ask for more hcs pt.2…………………….

RAAAAAAAAAAH

Ais? PLS? YOUR WRITIJG IS SO GOOD I THINK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME

AIS HCS (2)

gn!reader | (part 1) anon you GET ME! BUAAAAHHH AND OMGG THANK U... that's so crazy actually i hope u guys think about me today i will b thinking about all of u😙🫶🧡 YIPPEE!

so stupid /affectionate. takes photos of you and says "now a silly one." or starts taking selfies without telling you

will do cheesy romantic things with you because you ask. he can tease you all he wants, and he wonders how he's found himself swaying to a song with you in the kitchen,, but then you hold him a little tighter and he's like ah. that's why

tells you to be careful with his horns. not in a they're sensitive way but in a please do not get in a position where he could poke your eye out way. rest your chin in between them if you want though

asks you to pay for lunch. when it's actually time to pay he's like "what the hell are they doing over there?" so he can pay first. you guys fight to pay semi-regularly. You are the people who made me want to scream and cry when i worked retail.

do his make-up. i dare you. what. you don't want to stand in between his legs with his hands on your hips while you try to do eyeliner Be serious. he'll be your test subject for new looks

or let him do your make-up. you can match w some red eyeliner :)

doesn't do any little video trends with you without being a little annoying/difficult but he Will do them and do them extremely well in the end. everyone's jealous of your relationship

if you're having trouble sleeping and try to not move around a lot in case you wake ais up,, it's too late. bro is awake. he sighs and nuzzles into you before being like,, "if you can't sleep, you can wake me up you know." or "how long were you going to go before waking me up?"

^ late night snack runs.. he'll stay up as long as you do. hanging out in a mcdonalds parking lot at 2am eating chicken nuggets who gets me

pulls your head to lay on his shoulder if he sees you getting sleepy. rests his head on top of yours

silently comes and lies down with you if he's in a bad mood. you don't have to talk or really do anything, just being around you helps him feel better. he won't complain if you coddle him a little though :) you offer to get him some snacks or cuddle him and he smiles against your skin. "i'm starting to think you have a crush on me or something." you roll your eyes and flick his forehead but he just lets out a breathy laugh. "yes please."

cannot fucking play horror games/movies around this guy like why are YOU jumpscaring me Where is my safe space. he relishes in you clinging onto him / holding you from behind, but he also respects you scaring him back if you're more immune to horror

don't start a prank war with this guy because that shit isn't ending. he excels in annoyingly inconvenient pranks Don't Do It.

tells you about the dogs(/animals) he saw while out during the day. modern au he sends you pics either wordlessly or guessing their names. "meet nacho cheese" "why would u say that" "that's obviously his name? have some respect"

ohh. people watching...this sounds silly. but like i'm thinking about how he doesn't like being lonely/isolated but Is and how he has to watch others enjoy themselves and stuff. so you hanging out together and talking and guessing random people's life stories is just like. a casual thing but reminds him He Has Somebody to do that with now

why'd i say that

you know how he was in the rafters at the beginning. yeah he's asking if you wanna join him up there. you're like You do that Regularly? not just trying to intimidate me? and he's like 🤷‍♂️ it's comfortable enough.

promises he won't let you fall and keeps a steady hold. See? it isn't so bad.

modern au tattoo artist ais who gets me. anyone. anybody. helloooo? guys please i'm gonna pee my pants

🏷 | @lost-lonnie @screaming-wea-sel @dreamtydraw @respitable @semifilms @hexcoeur

[cosmictapestries]

In honor of Cageblade week, I thought i'd play the headcanon game and list some of my favorite headcanons for our favorite couple over the next few days

Today, I'm starting with our Best Girl because NRS has done a criminal job of flushing out her character in both games and media.

1) She grapples with PTSD.

Let's start with one I think a lot of people have in different degrees.

I do believe that a lot of what people see as Sonya being cold or unemotional stems from a lot of the trauma she has seen as a soldier. Her father died. Her brother died. Her brother in arms died and was brought back as a revenant. Everything she's been through has colored how protective she is of her family and she's deathly afraid of not being able to keep them safe.

When Cassie was a baby, Sonya would wake up at night and go watch her sleep just in case. If she got overwhelmed, instead of letting anyone see her upset, she'd go and cry in the shower and hope the running water hid the noise.

Part of what broke her marriage up was the almost obsessive need to keep Johnny and Cassie safe. If that meant missing out on their lives by working, she was okay with that. She realized too late it had pushed she and Johnny apart but didn't know how to fix it, so she doubled down and hid in her work.

2) She does have her share of luxuries that she won't go without.

Good coffee, dark chocolate and aged whiskey are all things i think she has a well known fondness for and Johnny indulges her in. After years of military life, i do believe she secretly enjoys going to the spa with Johnny and Cassie and getting her nails done. Ask her to admit it and she'll kick your ass.

3) She's a dog person.

Growing up in Texas and spending time/living with her grandparents gave her a love of dogs and in particular working dogs like German Shepherds or Belgian Malinois. I headcanon that Cassie wanted a puppy, Johnny wanted a designer dog and Sonya compromised by adopting a retired police dog. He's supposed to be Cassie's but Sonya adores taking him out for hikes.

4) She's a marathon runner.

Aside from countless hours spent training and honing her body for fighting hand-to-hand, i've always thought that Sonya is a runner, both to release stress and because she enjoys it. She's completed both the Boston and NYC marathons in record time. Johnny and Cassie are at every finish line as her #1 supporters.

5) She loves Johnny fiercely and it both confuses and infuriates her.

Sonya is used to being alone, she got used to it and and liked it. Loving someone like Johnny wasn't in the plan so it really threw her for a loop. He constantly reminds her that life is all about balance, that you need to have both work and play. She has more fun with him then she's ever willing to admit and it also scares the hell out of her because she's lost so many people.

6) She's Bisexual.

Even after the divorce, as angry as she was, she was still in love with him. She just refused to admit it.

When Sonya loves, it's with her whole heart. My headcanon is that she's had relationships with both men and women.

7) She remembers every kill she's made.

Names, faces, ages. Even if it's her job and she does it well, it haunts her. She doesn't sleep well and often finds herself awake, wondering if she could have done something different. Her greatest wish for Cassie is a peaceful world where her daughter won't face the same regret

[mmani-e]

Disco Elysium-Inspire Skill Portraits for Danganronpa, Part 1: Intellect

I just recently finished Disco Elysium and I adore the game so so much. I'm so autistic for the skill portraits they make me go CRAZY!! So I decided to combine it with my favorite fandom hehe.

Individual images + descriptions and extras under read more

[CASE-SOLVER] (Represents LOGIC in DE)

Each deduction a step towards the exit. Each case, a leap.

Cool for: Thinkers, Puzzle Wizards, Detached Investigators

It is the deep and primal urge in you to take in every detail, check every little nook and cranny of every room, and pick apart the testimonies of your friends. You can't help but feel like you've been walked through these sorts of things before. You wonder why.

At high levels, you will be able to solve every case with even the most minor of clues, or at the very least try your best. You'll be picking apart your friends' statements, even in simple conversation, making you just delightfully insufferable. At low levels you'll have a hard time with even 9-piece puzzles and asking people smarter than you what anything means.

[CREATIVE RE-ASSEMBLY] (Represents CONCEPTUALIZATION and VISUAL CALCULUS)

The gift of spatial awareness and the capacity for creativity.

Cool for: Artists, Whoever is reading this, Whoever is typing this

You feel yourself as not exactly an artist, but something close. A conoissuer of all things pure and beautiful in the world, an observer to the finer details of the media you consume, you can pick apart everything and reconstruct already existing concepts in your head with ease and daydreams, and not just with fiction.

At high levels, Creative Re-Assembly allows you to find joy in even the smalles of details, details you easily pick-up and reconstruct in your head thanks to your particular love for the visual arts. However, you'll also become something of a recluse, as the visual arts are just so pure and delightful that you can't waste time on others, conversations that don't involve your beloved media become pointless. At low levels, you struggle with object permanence.

[ELOQUENCE] (Represents RHETORIC and ENCYCLOPEDIA)

Speak with clarity, walk with culture.

Cool for: Speakers, Smartasses, Trust Fund Kids

Eloquence is key to delivering your truth effectively and in a dignified manner befitting someone considered to be worthy of the time of Nobility, granting you access to good breeding and manners, along with confidence in your speech and the knowledge to back it up.

At high levels, Eloquence will allow you insights and knowledge on the wider, educated world, along with a dignified and refined manner of conversing that makes people really listen. You will become a proud, honorable man, and your voice will become so proud and powerful that it will even be audible from all the way up your ass: where your head is most commonly situated. At low levels, you'll be a boorish negotiator and an unenlightened swine, unable to hold a conversation without resorting to multiple "likes", "umms", and "w-well, uhh-"s.

[JIKKO] (Represents DRAMA)

You're a performer, now perform.

Cool for: Actors, Liars, Manipulators

A killing game is a game nonetheless, and there is no greater tool to a performer's toolbelt than their ability to lie and immerse themselves in a world that cannot be. You yourself realize, maybe more than anyone, that this whole thing is a sham, a show, and not just the killing game. Everyone is always hiding their true selves.

At high levels, Jikko makes you a master of dramatics, capable of telling when others are lying with ease. High levels also make you an insufferable drama queen, making a mess out of anyone and everything just to keep the spotlight on you for that much longer, deny it all you want, but fame feels good. At low levels you'll have trouble picking out the most obvious lies apart, you cry when people tell particularly nasty yo mama jokes.

EXTRAS

[silver-horse]

🤣 I didn't even think about that. but yeah, another very good point.

this is why it would have felt so much more natural to have poly romances that develop at roughly the same speed.

they also did halsin dirty with this. he is always treated as the sidepiece.

also this reminds me that I hate how they removed the option for companions to have sex with each other. they are all waiting around in case the player wants to break-up with their current partner and start a romance with them. No free will of their own. Shadowheart/Karlach not interested in each other even if you never romance either? Wyll/Lae'zel had such adorable flirting lines back in early access, but that now never happens etc.

I can't help but wonder if this choice was made because gamerbros lose their minds if their love interest expresses the slightest interest in someone else. So the main character can start multiple romances in Act 1 but oh dear, not your love interest!! They must not hook-up with others.

If players get angry because there is 1 single romance option (shadowheart) who expresses autonomy over her polyamorous interests and wants to hook-up with others (even though you could avoid it and make her monogamous), well then it's impossible to give us the possibility for polyamory that involves 2 origin companions.

So instead we got this one sided thing. the player can go for halsin, the player can romance multiple companions in Act 1 but they never exercise their own free will to start anything with anyone. you can't have ethical polyamory with 2 or more companions who previously flirted with each other. because when they express genuine interest (even if the player is also part of the arrangement), the gamers are "CUCKED".

I would say Larian was just lazy when they wrote poly, but then why remove the act 1 party hook-ups between companions? which was already in the game. That must have been done to make things convenient for these players.

[lulu2992]

hi! i hope you don't mind me asking you this, but i feel like you're the most reliable source for this, haha. i saw that you answered an ask about john, explaining what to keep in mind when writing him, and i was wondering if you could do the same thing with jacob? as in, what characteristics to keep in mind when writing him and all !! i would seriously appreciate it a lot!! i wish you all the best and thank you for everything you're sharing with the fandom <3

Hi! And thank you very much for your kind words :)

As I did in the post about John (here, for anyone who is interested), I’m first going to give you a few links and facts about the Soldier! By the way, “the Soldier”, unlike “the Father” and “the Baptist”, isn’t Jacob’s official title in the cult, it’s just how he was called in promotional material (and by Dutch).

You must have played Far Cry 5 and seen the cutscenes already, but I’m still going to summarize his backstory and beliefs to try to write a comprehensive post. And in case you’ve missed them or want to listen to them again, here are:

His radio calls in chronological order (here, here, here, here, and here)

His sermons (part 1 and part 2)

The comments he makes during the trials

The audio of his two videos (“I own you”, broadcasted inside the Stone Ridge chalet, and the one with Pratt)

The message on the phone in the Stone Ridge Chalet

What he says during the final fight against him (here and here)

His Arcade lines

Finally, even though they were cut, you can find his unreleased lines here.

I wrote a summary of what other characters say about Jacob here (masterpost here), but you can listen to the NPCs’ comments here (cultists) and here (Resistance/civilians).

As for in-game notes, to my knowledge, only one was undoubtedly written by Jacob. It can be found in his bunker, Jacob’s Armory:

Dan Hay (Executive Producer/Creative Director/Writer) and Jean-Sébastien Décant (Narrative Director/Writer) talked extensively about John in a video for IGN, but unfortunately for us, the other members of the family didn’t have that privilege...

However, in a now-deleted interview for GameCrate, Drew Holmes (Lead Writer) said the following:

Jacob Seed, who’s the older brother, maybe doesn’t necessarily believe in Joseph’s message that God told him the end of the world was coming, but he believes in his brother, doesn’t matter if he’s right or wrong, he going to march forward with him.

And although Jacob loves his brothers, he reportedly doesn’t care much about Faith, according to the Lead Writer and NPC dialog.

In The Book of Joseph (which you can read here), Jacob is described as a protective big brother and an adventurous child who loved nature and “only felt comfortable in the outdoors”. He would sometimes steal candy for his two brothers so they “could have a bit of sweetness and comfort in [their] lives”. Their childhood was indeed miserable, mostly because their father was very violent. While he was “strong” and could withstand being beaten regularly, he hated seeing his youngest brother John in pain, so he started thinking about getting rid of their abuser. It’s unknown if he would have done it, but he never got to put his plan into action thanks to Joseph, who convinced him not to, and to child protective services.

The boys were sent to an orphanage and adopted by a couple, but they treated them like servants and “livestock”, even making them sleep in a barn. One night, Jacob had enough and, after waking his brothers up and freeing the animals, set fire to the property. When the couple ran outside, he also knocked out the husband with an axe handle. That led him to be sent to a juvenile detention center and separated from his brothers. There, he was “a bit of a troublemaker” and the guards didn’t like him. However, the teachers believed he had potential and was a good leader. At the end of his sentence, Jacob joined the army.

He spent several years (20, according to Dan Hay) in the military (the Marines according to the book, the 82nd Airborne Division according to the game) before being declared unfit for service because he suffered from PTSD. He then spent some time in a military hospital but was kicked out when he couldn’t afford it anymore. After that, he never received his pension (for unknown reasons) and started living on the streets, basically becoming invisible. Joseph found him “completely hollow” in a homeless shelter and only recognized him because he was calling his brothers’ names in his sleep.

Once the three brothers were reunited, Jacob “slowly came back to life” and swore to follow Joseph to the end. In the cult, his goal is to build and train an army so they’re ready for the Collapse, able to survive in the post-apocalyptic wilderness, and protect the rest of the Family.

In the game, he talks about the moment that redefined his life. During the first Gulf War, he and another soldier named Miller got separated from their unit because of an ambush and had to survive in the Iraqi desert. On the eighth day, he realized they were most likely going to die and accepted it, but “in that acceptance came clarity”. He saw Miller, who was barely able to walk anymore, as “an opportunity” for him to live… implying he cannibalized him. He adds it wasn’t something he wanted but something he had to do; his “test” (from God, I assume).

Because of this dehumanizing (and traumatizing) experience, Jacob came to believe that humanity was divided into two categories: the weak and the strong. The weak are not meant to survive, but they have a purpose. He thinks people are “meat”, “tools”, and expendable, so he doesn’t hesitate to “cull the herd” (his mantra) so only the strongest soldiers are in his army. He thinks society and modern technology have made humans weak and that people should return to their natural selves, like ancient men (who were an example of strength, to him). The Collapse will be a new beginning, but his soldiers need to be ready for it, which is why he obsessively selects and trains them, and doesn’t hesitate to experiment on converts.

As demonstrated with the Deputy in the game, Jacob conditions potential recruits using Bliss, violent images, and the song “Only You” (because of this scrapped idea) so they uncontrollably go on a killing spree whenever they hear the song. He starves them, keeps them in cages, and makes them go through trials to test their strength and teach them how to hunt and kill. He also expects them to “sacrifice”, as explained in this note (Grand View Hotel):

To pass through the Gate you must SACRIFICE something of yourself, to let go of the past and fully embrace your future with the Father. It has to have meaning. What is it that is keeping you here? What is it that anchors you, that prevents you from giving yourself freely to the Father? Is it your husband, your wife, your child? Maybe your brother, or mother? Once you have rid yourself of the shackles of your old life then you can open your heart to the Father’s voice.

He experiments on animals as well, mostly wolves, to turn them into mind-controlled “Judges”, more powerful and aggressive, and able to attack on command.

Like his siblings, Jacob has a strong personal philosophy inspired by his past. He basically makes the people he converts relive his trauma because he thinks it will make them better, fitter to serve the Project. He has specific goals but, as brutal as his actions are, isn’t cruel for the sake of cruelty. He tests people the way he believes he was tested, makes them go through starvation and dehumanization so they can revert to their primordial instincts, become warriors and be truly alive; reborn.

Jacob isn’t a very demonstrative man and is rather stoic, but I don’t think that means he doesn’t feel anything; he just doesn’t want/like to show his emotions (except maybe to his brothers). And as the eldest, it seems he doesn’t hesitate to speak his mind to Joseph. That said, while he isn’t sure if the Father can really hear God’s voice, he still has faith in him and is ready to give his life for him and the Project. In my opinion, Jacob possibly even believed that he had to die for Joseph, as his weapon and his sacrifice. He trained the Deputy so they would kill his former ally and main rival Eli for him, but I think it’s likely that he expected them to be strong enough to kill him as well, so the prophecy (and his destiny) would be fulfilled. As much as he told the Deputy they were neither strong nor special, in the end, he probably thought they were...

We don’t know if the traumatic memories of the war that would “surge up at any moment”, according to The Book of Joseph, still torment Jacob in the game because his PTSD is never really shown or mentioned, but we can assume it’s still there to some degree. It’s unknown where exactly his scars come from or what caused them, but he was most likely injured in combat. In my opinion, he also sometimes sounds like he has respiratory problems, but that’s never discussed, either.

To summarize this summary, Jacob is ruthlessly committed to his goals and convictions. He says nature doesn’t have empathy, so he shouldn’t, either. He went through hell several times and believes he only emerged stronger, so he thinks others can and must be hardened the same way to become the best, most primal version of themselves. He doesn’t fear death and possibly even expects it to come for him early, but it doesn’t matter because he would have fulfilled his destiny, and he has a legacy anyway: his army. Because of how strong and well-trained his soldiers are, he’s confident the Family will be safe, even after his death. Despite his incredibly twisted vision of the world and violent methods, deep down under all the hatred and trauma, it seems there’s still a little bit of that big brother who would try his best to protect his siblings and brighten their lives, somewhere, somehow…

[breakfastteatime]

I keep thinking about the astrography of the Koboh system and I'm wondering if anyone's got any clear answer on on how Koboh, its moon, and Tanalorr/the Abyss behave in relation to each other. Can I ask what you think?

Because for the arrays to work, that specific part of Koboh and the part of the moon with the station both have to be facing Tanalorr. And of course they have to be close enough: Tanalorr can't have its own orbit like Mars or most of the time it'll be way across another part of that solar system, so I figure they've got to be binary planets, orbiting around each other and moving together around their star.

And, given that we see the Abyss in the sky over Ramblers' Reach in both daytime and nighttime, they've got to be tidally locked, or at least Koboh does. Otherwise you'd have to wait to activate the array until Koboh's orbit has come back around to face the Abyss at whatever time of day that is, and I don't think we say the Abyss move round the sky much, right?

So all that can be explained… but then I've got to wonder: How the hell can anyone, Empire idiots or otherwise, see a giant planet-size nebula spining around Koboh in a stable orbit, a nebula with the same gravitational pull as a planet, and NOT wonder "hey, what if there's something planet-sized in there?"

I know the answer is handwavey plot necessities and I'm overthinking things, but… there could be some interesting plotbunnies in there.

Has there been any talk about this anywhere that you've heard?

As always, love your work! <3

You are way, way, WAY smarter than I am. Wow!Just let me bask in your genius for a moment.

You're right - I don't think the Abyss moves... and oh, how I wish we could explore Koboh at night throughout the game!

I did mention in a "what do I want in Jedi 3" post a while back that Tanalorr is going to have to come under some kind of existential threat in the next game because all stories need jeopardy. We know the Empire is on Koboh and there's an entire Star Destroyer in the sky in the post-game of Survivor. They don't appear to be searching for anything in particular (I may have missed it, but I don't think the troopers say "hey, I hear that Jedi terrorist is lurking here somewhere!" unlike literally every Raider) so I don't think they're there for Cal specifically. More like Koboh's the next world on their galactic conquest. However, it's likely that the more they see, the more they will explore. We know from JFO that Palpatine wants relics of other Force cultures, so maybe he'll show an interest in what was left behind on Koboh...

We also know from the game's finale that the arrays overload and now the only way to get to Tanalorr is to 1) be a damn good pilot, and, 2) be a Jedi, or have one very close by, or 3) have a compass. So there's a really good chance that, with the Empire having a presence on Koboh, they'll notice all the comings and goings through the Abyss and start exploring... and exploding. You have to imagine initially Cal and co will be able to rely on anyone following them in getting 'sploded by the Koboh Matter, but what if someone gets lucky, gets through, and does find Tanalorr and alerts the Empire??? There's your jeopardy.

I hope they have lots of ships of Tanalorr and plenty of people to repaint them regularly to make the Empire think anyone going in there is also dying because they never see the same ship twice...

This is fun to think about!!! And makes me curious to know what the final game will do with this. Maybe it'll be a case of they decide to seal off Tanalorr for the safety of those there.... Maybe Cal does that and he stays behind... Maybe, maybe, maybe...

Thanks for the Ask, and the kind words! I better get back to some writing!!

[peonierose]

Losing Game (4/4)

Book: Open Heart

Pairing: Bryce Lahela (M!MC) x Luna Auclair (F!OC)

Rating: Mature / Angst

TW: Mental Health

Word: 5,000+

Summary: Bryce and Luna have worked things out. But there is still one visit to make before Bryce and Luna find closure.

A/N: This has been a story that’s very dear to me. I went a bit off-canon so I hope you’ll give it a try. As always thank you to everyone who gives my stories and my characters a chance 🩷🌙

A/N 2: In case you missed the parts before here they are: Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3

A/N 3: Thank you to @annieruok94 🌷🩷 and @aallotarenunelma 🌺🩷 I hope you like the part with Adam, it was inspired by you 🥰

Side note: I also made a playlist for Part 4, (the previous two parts include a playlist as well).

The next day…

Bryce

I traded my shift with Aubrey so that I could have the day off.

I was watching Luna get dressed in a pink overall with a white shirt underneath, while I was lying in bed.

Luna turned towards me as she put her hair in a bun, a few blonde strands escaping her bun. She turned to me as I was basking in her light.

”I was thinking of visiting your dad today and I’d like to come with you if you want me to and if you feel ready for us to go together.“

I raised my eyebrows as I propped myself up against the pillow resting behind me.

”Are you sure? It’s not too much for you?“ I asked while I got out of bed.

She hugged me.

”Yes, I’m sure. Also, I love hugging you like this.“

”Any particular reason why?“ I grinned.

”This fine piece of ass. I like it.“

”Well this fine piece of ass made you feel real special last night. Also, I like this dirty side of you Lunes.“

I started to unbutton the straps of her overall but she stopped me.

”B we can’t. We’ll be late. The visiting hours aren’t that long.“

I sighed. She smiled and kissed me on my still-smiling lips.

”Really?“ I asked and tried to convince her for a quick round.

”Puppy dog eyes won’t work. Come on get dressed babe.“ She slapped my ass. I laughed out loud and got dressed.

And together we drove to prison to visit my dad.

Bryce

It’s weird to be here at the Halawa Correctional Facility, again.

The guards searched us, then gave us visitor passes and let us through. We sat at a dark grey table in the cafeteria, only one other guy was sitting down with his family from the looks of it.

I don’t think I’ve noticed anything that day. Not the color of the table or if anyone else was present. It might even be the same table I sat at the other day.

My dad walked in and they released the handcuffs and let him sit with us.

Both Lunes and I sat there as my dad walked over and sat down opposite us. He looked at me and smiled.

Then he turned to Luna and he offered his hand. Luna shook it and held onto it for a couple of seconds.

”You must be Mr. Lahela. I’ve heard so many things about you.“

I winced and tried to hide the fact that I hadn’t told Luna much. An acidic feeling rose inside of me. Recognizing it as guilt. For not telling her more about my messed up family life sooner.

But maybe I could change that and tell her everything later. I trust Luna, more than anyone. Maybe it’s time to lay all the cards on the table. Talking to Luna about my family might relieve some of the residual pain I’ve been carrying around for years.

”You must be Luna.“ My dad said and smiled at her. Luna nodded and I tuned back into the conversation.

”So Bryce has told you a lot of things about me? Like that pink is my favorite color?“ He joked but Luna didn’t know that my dad's favorite color is blue. Like mine. Well, blue-green is my favorite. I wonder why? I snicker.

”No way! I once told Bryce how good he’d look in pink scrubs. Like a deep magenta or a mauve tone. He’d be a stunner.“

My dad grinned at Luna’s enthusiasm. I haven’t seen him smile like that in a long time. Looks as if Luna can win anyone over.

”Or cherry red like that hickey.“ My dad pointed to me. I blushed down to my hair roots. Luna held out her hand for a high five and my dad smacked it.

”Hell yeah.“ Luna grinned, not embarrassed at all.

”Oh, man.“ I mumbled. She smacked me onto my arm.

”Ow that hurt.“ I rubbed the spot she smacked me.

”Man up.“ She grinned.

”Really? In front of my dad?“ I said and both Luna and my dad just laughed.

”Oh please. I’m sure your dad knows we’re sleeping together. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be pregnant.“

"Looks as if that train left the station a long time ago." My dad laughed out loud and started wiping tears from out of the corner of his eyes, Luna grins.

”I like her, she's got balls.“ My dad said.

”Dad!“ I exclaimed.

”Oh don’t worry. My delicate sensibilities weren’t hurt.“ Luna waved him off.

We kept chatting for the remainder of the visit. When it’s time to leave I help Luna when we both get up, my dad stands up as well.

”It was great meeting you Luna. I can tell you’re keeping my son on his toes.“

”Oh I sure do. Bryce is a great guy. I’m very proud of him.“ Luna said with a hint of a warning in her tone. My dad raised his eyebrows and got the message loud and clear. Then he smiled.

”She’s a keeper. Also, I’d love it if you called me Keola. Mr. feels too formal.“

Luna beamed at him.

”Sure no problem Keola. That would be nice. Would it be okay if I hugged you? You don’t have to, but I’d love a hug.“

My dad grinned and hugged her. God, what did I do to deserve someone like Luna? When they broke apart my dad waited.

”What are you waiting for? Get in here. Maybe before I become a grandfather?“

”Burn,“ Luna commented. I let out a surprised laugh and my dad and I hugged. It felt different to hug him now than it did when I was a teenager.

He felt more thin and frail. But it’s good to hug him because he’s my dad. And just like that something shifts into the right place. When we broke apart we picked up the conversation about the twins.

”We’re expecting twins in March.“ Luna said and my dad nodded happily. I can tell he’s happy. He’s got the same look in his eyes when Keiki was born.

”I have something for you.“ Luna got out a black and white picture. It’s the latest sonogram from the twins. She handed it to my dad.

”It’s an ultrasound picture of the twins. Kehlani Mae and Alaia Rose. You can keep it. We have another one.“ Luna said and my dad looked down at the picture. When he looked up, he held the picture close to his heart.

”Thank you, Luna. This means a lot to me.“ I smiled and hugged Lunes close to me. We all hugged again and then left to get to our car and drive home.

When we were inside the car I turned to Luna who looked at me. I smiled and reached into the glove compartment to get some tissues out and handed one to Luna.

”Here you go sunshine.“

She nodded in thanks and smiled at me.

”Thank you for today Lunes. I can’t even describe how much it meant to me that you went and visited my dad with me. Giving him that ultrasound picture? Making him smile like that? Man, I haven’t seen him smile as he did now in a long time. You made him so happy and me too.“

”Of course B. I’d give you one of my kidneys if it meant you’d survive.“

I smiled at her.

”B?“ She asked, looking tentatively at me.

”Yeah?“

”Can we just get some malasadas to go and then get naked?“

Which drew a surprised laugh from me. It’s like my dad said, Luna sure does keep me on my toes. But I love her, and it keeps me grounded in a way that’s hard to explain. That must be the feeling when you find the one.

”Not what I expected you to say. But sure.“

”I don’t want to ruin my overall, it's so cute.“ She said and together we drove to Leonard’s Bakery.

Bryce

We got home. Had some malasadas. And got lost in each other's touch. It was like coming home. It’s what we both needed.

We stand in our shower outside. Just holding on to each other. Like one of us is going to disappear in the next second. I felt the best when I was surrounded by water. It helped me calm down and it calmed Luna down too.

We toweled off and went into the kitchen. I stopped, putting some strands of her wet hair aside and I kissed her. Wondering how I got so lucky?

”You got so lucky because I’m awesome. And you’re my arm candy,“ she said, her tone getting lighter and I looked up at her. The shadows of pain were almost gone. I just kept looking at her.

”I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you with my actions,“ I said.

She pulled me closer.

”It’s okay B I know you didn’t mean it. And I know a relationship and love are sometimes hard to navigate. But another stunt like that and I won’t be so nice,“ she said.

”Why are you so forgiving? I thought you’d be angrier with me now?“

I asked, honestly flabbergasted.

She gnawed on her lips nervously. Ahhh. She’s been harboring a secret too.

”Spill Lunes,“ I said grinning. She looked up.

”Okay don’t be mad, but Evie sent out invitations for our wedding a couple of weeks ago and I said I’d have to ask if you wanted your mom to be there but I forgot to ask you and now your mom has gotten an invitation and I sort of didn’t ask you?“ She looked crestfallen so I pulled her close and planted a chaste kiss on her forehead.

”You were totally buttering me up. I was thinking of inviting her. Maybe even thinking of giving her and Dad a second chance. Unless they give me a reason to not trust them anymore,“ I said my voice steely.

She smiled and I knew we were good. When she kept smiling I looked at her.

”What? Any more secrets you’d like to tell me? Like how you ate the last piece of strawberry cheesecake that had my name on it?“

”That was Keiki,“ she lied and I shook my head.

We heard the door being slammed and Keiki walked in.

”You said it’s okay if we shared that piece of cake! Now I get blamed for eating the whole thing? Oh come on.“

She went into her room upstairs and slammed the door behind her. Bryce and I burst out laughing. Luna wiggled her eyebrows.

”How about we try out that hot tub we got some time ago?“

I grinned at her getting where she was going with this.

”Getting you naked is my favorite pastime,“ I said.

”Likewise,“ she replied.

We both sprinted into one of our bathrooms where we set up a hot tub. Luna's idea. The best idea she’s ever had if you don’t count on us getting together.

I got put out of my thoughts when she stood naked in front of me.

She’s been feeling unsure of her body because it started changing ever since she got pregnant.

”You‘re the most stunning woman of all time. So get that sweet butt of yours into the water,“ I said and she grinned.

”You only love me for my body,“ she grinned, getting comfortable in the water.

I huffed out a breath.

”That’s supposed to be my line,“ I said and she got closer until our bodies touched.

”Maybe you can change my mind?“ she asked.

”Oh I intend to,“ I said and kissed her until she forgot everything.

Until there’s just us and the love we shared for each other.

After a while when our fingers looked more like raisins, we got out of the hot tub. We dried ourselves and went to our bedroom. Lunes took one of my college shirts from Stanford and I just wore boxers. I turned Luna’s night light on. Illuminating the whole room, transforming it into the night sky.

When we lay in bed we almost stuck together. That’s how close we were. Needing this moment. Together. It’s what’s anchoring us.

I leaned into Lunes and sought her warmth, her comfort and she did the same for me.

Everything’s going to work out in the end, because our love is the loudest.

The next morning…

We got up, showered and lay in bed. Or well Luna was lying in bed while I was putting on some bum bum cream since she can’t reach it herself. I could feel her stare bore into me, making me smile.

”What now? Pillow talk?“ I teased and looked up at her.

”I…just wanted to ask if you’d tell me more about your parents. And what happened?“ Luna said.

I know she won’t push me, but she’d love to know more. I sigh as I put the lid back on the bum bum cream and kiss her calf. Making her laugh. One of my favorite sounds in the whole world.

”When I was younger…I don’t know, I always remember we had a lot of money. I never cared about that stuff. My parents were working in the real estate field. I wasn’t different because of it. And I didn’t act as if I was the center of attention, throwing money around.“ I sat at the edge of the bed and gathered my thoughts.

”Then there was this one night. I remember it was late and I just came back from a round of basketball with Kainalu and some of my other friends. I drove around the corner into our neighborhood in Maui and saw all these blue lights. Realizing the light was coming from police cars. Not having the faintest idea what the hell was going on.“

”Then what happened?“ Luna reached out and I helped her sit next to me.

”I saw my dad getting arrested, being put into a police car. I went inside the house like I was on autopilot. My mom came to me pulled me to the side and whispered I should take this bag from Keiki’s closet since apparently they haven’t checked that out yet. Take Keiki and get out of the house.“

”That must’ve been terrifying. I can’t imagine how you must’ve felt.“ Luna said drawing circles on my hands.

”It was horrible. I felt like I was trapped in a nightmare. Not able to wake up.“

”What happened with your parents?“

”Later I found out how we got to have all this money. It didn’t just appear out of thin air. I learned my parents made some bad investments and the people they owed money wanted their money back. Saying ”pay me back or else.“ I said remembering the court transcripts.

Luna puts a hand over her mouth.

”Oh god. What happened after that?“

I rub a strand of her blonde hair between my fingers.

”As it turns out my parents skimmed money off their clients. They had access to all the clients' private information. At first, nobody noticed anything, since it was only small amounts that disappeared and that could’ve been easily justified. But when larger sums started disappearing, they started an investigation, to find out what happened. My parents became desperate to pay the money back that they owed. But what they didn’t know was that the police set a trap and caught them red-handed.“ I sigh, sharing this part of my life was always hard for me.

As if feeling this was difficult for me, Luna turned my head towards her and smiled at me.

”You don’t have to tell me. I can see this is affecting you deeply.“

I shook my head and lightly kissed her temple.

”So if your parents got caught what happened to you and your sister? I can’t imagine you came out of this unscathed.“ She encouraged me to keep talking.

”I was finishing my last year of high school. I was one of the popular kids and became public enemy number one overnight. The other kids whose parents had lost money from my parents' schemes took their anger and frustrations out on me. It’s hardly surprising, but still, I wasn’t a part of it. Neither was Keiki. She was only what, 6-years-old? And that night my parents got arrested? It was Keiki‘s birthday. I felt so angry that they would be greedy and take some money and drag all of us into it. But I know now that maybe there’s more to the story and life isn’t always as black and white as we’d like it to be.“

Luna leaned into me to offer me some comfort, as I was telling her my deepest and darkest secret. One I’m still ashamed about, though I’m trying to make my peace with it.

”We stayed with close friends until everything was cleared. Mom was acquitted because she testified against my dad.“

”Your parents love each other B. She wanted to help him and he didn’t want her to be in prison. I’d do the same. If I could help you by not making you wear an orange jumpsuit? I’d take it.“

”You’d lie on the stand?“ I was shocked.

”Depending on what the lie would be. I’m not exactly good at lying.“ She replied. I smiled and nodded absently as if now realizing she could be right.

”You may be right.“ I said.

”What happened after?“ Luna asked.

”It didn’t get better once I started college. I asked if I could take online classes. The college board agreed because my situation was a bit delicate as they put it. But it became too much so I transferred to Stanford. Just to get out of Maui. My grades were good enough that I could justify a transfer. And they had an open spot, so I packed my stuff, and left. Keiki went to live with Mom in Maui, while I went away to Stanford. Keiki was only six and in elementary school when I left. I left everything behind and didn’t look back.“

I sighed as I was saying that.

”Do you feel guilty that you left? I mean you and Keiki made up. Do you think she still harbors hard feelings because you left?“ Luna nailed my emotional roller coaster inside of me on the head.

”I do feel a little guilty. But I hope she forgave me. I regret not being here for her. But then I wouldn’t have met such awesome friends and later on you, Lunes.“

”The love of your life. Just give this a bit of time and you’ll see things will turn around.“ She grinned and I kissed her. Simply because it made me happy.

I broke off the kiss and said into her hair.

”The love of my life has a good point.“

She grinned and I smiled against her temple and instead of talking about the past, we made memories for the future.

A week later…

I was nervous as all get out. I was never good at talking to other people about my feelings.

I knocked on a red door and when the door opened a tall man with blond hair, put in a bun, answered the door.

Adam smiled at me as I stood there like a weirdo. I smiled nervously. Waving at him. Why am I waving at him? Get a grip, Bryce! I let out a nervous breath I’d been holding in and smiled at Adam.

”Bryce. It’s good to see you man. What brings you by? Oh god, my mom would whoop my ass. Seriously, where are my manners? Come on in.“ He opened the door wider and his golden retriever Knox came closer.

”Knox. Sit. Remember, no jumping people.“ Adam said to his dog who just smiled. I didn’t know dogs could smile. Huh. You learn something new every day. I petted Knox, which earned me a lick on my hand.

I followed Adam into the kitchen and sat down on one of the chairs.

”Want something to drink? My cousin made some beer. It’s made from some native ingredients found only in Hawaii. He listed tons of those ingredients. To me, it just tastes like beer. You want some?“ His head was buried inside the fridge.

”Sounds good.“ I replied.

He resurfaced from the fridge and held out a bottle of beer. It shone like liquid gold. We both opened our bottles took a sip and whistled.

”Damn. This is some good shit.“ I said and took another sip. Tasting, honey, amber, citrus notes, and something unique. Like hibiscus? How did they incorporate that into beer?

Adam smiled.

”I’ll be sure to tell him.“ He smiled and put his beer on a nearby table.

”So what brings you by? I don’t assume this is a social call?“

”What, I can’t come visit you?“ I asked, trying to mask why I was there.

Because I feel embarrassed and ashamed for something I had no control of. But like Dr. Leslie said, letting go of the past doesn’t mean it won’t be able to hurt you anymore, it means you’re giving it less power over you.

”Look I’ll be honest. I came here to ask you for a favor. And you can say no.“ I said.

”What kind of favor?“ He regarded me carefully.

”I recently had some memories from the past come back and I realized I might need an outlet for my emotions to avoid having a panic attack during surgery.“ I told him.

”I’m sorry you’re going through a tough time. I am. I know how difficult it was when my mom died. I was angry at myself, at the world, at everyone.“ He admitted and I looked up.

”I‘m so sorry for your loss. I bet your mom was an incredible person.“ I said and peeled off the label of the beer bottle. Feeling the soft fur of Knox graze my calves. I reached and patted him and he lay down by my feet. Anchoring me in a way.

”She sure was. It took me some time to figure out how to handle my grief. And everyone handles grief and losing a loved one differently. So if there’s something I can do to help I’d be happy to.“ He said and smiled, his blue eyes sparkling.

”Can I ask what happened?“ He took another sip of his beer, turned his attention to me and asked me what I feared he might.

”My parents cheated a lot of people out of their money. And the kids at school got back at me and Keiki for it. My dad is still in prison and my mom testified against my dad so she didn’t go to jail. At that time my sister and I didn’t know what my parents did. I recently visited my dad and I don’t know. I guess I’m just not sure how to feel about this whole situation.“ That’s when I realized I'd been babbling and when I looked up I just wanted to run away. Or hide.

”First of all, I would never judge you, Bryce. I’ve got to know you over the last couple of months. You're a kind, supportive guy. Who’s hard-working and loves his family. You’re a good person. Don’t let past mistakes by other people define who you are at your core.“ He said and I breathed out. Before I could say anything he continued.

”And don’t worry whatever you tell me stays between us. You don’t have to worry that I’d spill the beans to anyone. I’m really sorry this happened to you. I never thought you’d gone through something like that. So what is it exactly I could help you with? I’m not exactly good with therapy sessions.“ He smiled gently.

”I worked something out for therapy. But…I…uh…I‘d love it if maybe I could work on some projects here with you. If you need any help. I know I’m not exactly qualified or anything. But maybe I could use your workshop in the beginning. I promise I won’t make a mess. Years of doing surgeries have made me a very organized person. At least in the OR room.“

Adam grinned.

”You got it. Use the space however you like. It’s yours. If I do need some help I’ll let you know. As a matter of fact, I could use your help. I found this dresser at an antique store and I’d love to restore it to its former glory. The wood carving is beautiful, I think it’s made out of Koa wood. It would be perfect for Maxine actually.“

He blushed and I smirked.

”So essentially two birds one stone?“ I asked and he nodded. That’s when I noticed how different he looked when Maxine’s name was mentioned. I wondered what I look like when I talk about Luna. Probably like a sappy fool. But probably a really happy one.

”You really love her do you?“ I asked and it dawned on me, how much his eyes conveyed his genuine love and respect for Maxine.

”Yes I do. Maxine is a special woman. Hopefully, I’ll be able to make her happy for the rest of my life.“

”I’ll drink to that. To love and good friendships.“ I said and we clinked our glasses together and just enjoyed a nice view of a Hawaiian sunset.

Life is hard but you make the best out of it every single day.