#in every other season i could believe that noel was whatever age he really was but in season 1 i thought he was really a teenager

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

yeah, noel fisher being 26/27 in season 1 of shameless is pretty wild, but you know what’s even more wild? the fact that kash karib’s actor, pej vahdat, is ONE YEAR OLDER THAN NOEL FISHER. LIKE- EXCUSE ME??

[archangelmacaron]

I woke up painfully early again, so I guess my New Year's musings can go here.

It's really strange to think about how, not even a year ago, I wasn't writing or drawing at all. I hadn't seriously sat at a keyboard for years, and hadn't picked up a pencil for even longer than that. I always loved writing, but I just didn't feel like I had much to say. I've always felt confident in my ability to write fanfiction believably, but original stories seemed so far beyond me. I tried to write something once dealing with my grief of losing someone important to me, but even then, the problem was I was too focused on what other people would think of it--and this was before the word 'problematic' was thrown all over the internet. 'Is this character too mean? is this one too much of a 'mary sue'? She's sixteen and he's an ancient fae, is that too much of an age gap!?' (Even back then, it was a human-inhuman relationship, although the characters were all human-looking--something I'm a little bored by now, if I'm honest!) I really didn't get very far in this... and I'm almost positive I unthinkingly deleted all copies. My biggest mistake was I felt I needed to write in order--so of course I'd get stuck! I think it was Calvin Wong who said, drastically paraphrasing, 'painters don't start by always painting the top left corner blue, why is writing different?' I cannot explain what a breakthrough it was to understand that I didn't have to write scene A, then B, then C, etc--I could write scene D or even M or Z, whatever came to me at that moment, and go back and loop them together--or discard them if they no longer fit. There really are no rules.

My other major breakthrough was realizing I didn't want to write about human relationships. I actually can pinpoint when that occurred, after playing a few seasons of Noel TMF, I started to feel hungry for something, some specific story with specific dynamics, but I couldn't say what. After being unable to find something that hit that spot, I realized it was up to me to create it myself. I sat down one day and started to write for myself only. I never intended to share it with anyone, and that was very freeing--especially as literally all of my artistic work for years was made to be shared, it didn't have meaning otherwise. It's not really an art form I would do 'just for me.' Noel wasn't the only inspiration here. A few years ago, The Ancient Magus' Bride came out, and I cannot overstate the impact that had on me. Chise and I went through almost the exact same thing which just blew my mind. I cannot describe how cathartic it was to read the words 'I don't forgive you' about such a situation. Watching her learn and grow and become happy meant so much to me, and while back then, I would never have considered myself capable of writing such a story myself, now I know it's what I want to do. I want to help someone else, the way that helped me understand recovery is possible no matter what you've been through, no matter how cursed you feel. Sometimes, I do still feel cursed, it's like people drag that curse back to me, like I can't escape it--which was why I was struggling so hard this month. I had to understand that the familial relationships I craved my entire life were not the familial relationships I was ever going to have, and let that dream go.

And so, I set out to write my own stories of healing and understanding and mystery and just a touch of horror. And I haven't been able to stop since. I'm not sure if, by excitedly looking forward to writing every day, to write something that 'hit the spot' I was seeking, that I trained myself into needing to write every day--I know that's how it worked for drawing, a habit is much more important than motivation! I think the final reason I write so much is, well, you! The support and enthusiasm from this handful of people who read my stories, starting with fanfic, and then actually caring about my original content, has blown my mind. The burst of joy I get from reading a comment--any comment--is one of the best feelings of my life. Even a 'like' on a post excites and inspires me to keep sharing, and even thinking that I'd like to reach more people for whom my stories 'hit the spot.' This is long, so maybe my art musings can be done another day. Or maybe I can go back to work on writing, after all, I really love it now! Thank you again for all your support. That matters, far more than you might think. I hope I keep creating things that make you smile!

[koganphrancis]

Shameless really had to scour the history books to come up with the reason I guess they’ve landed on for Ian’s marriage issues.  

It would’ve made a lot more sense if they had brought them up in S6, but, no, Mickey was gone by then and Ian was about to experience actual love for the first time in his life-or so the show wanted us to believe.  And that’s why I have to call bullshit on Ian seemingly suddenly not thinking he’s deserving of love.  Once he got on his meds, he strode bravely into relationships with Faileb and Trash without batting an eye.  (And yes, one could argue those were “bad�� relationships a person who knows they are worthy of love would’ve avoided-but that was never the show’s point of view.  They literally thought each of those partners were huge upgrades from Mickey, and that they would provide Ian with healthy relationships, something other than “war and sex”, which is what they tried to reduce Mickey to.)  Think back to when Ian pursued Trash FOR MONTHS-he never once said, “Maybe Trash doesn’t want me because I’m unlovable.”  

And that they randomly brought up Ian’s medical condition after all this time as a big part of the “reason” didn’t set well at all.  Myles’ AV Club review sums it up beautifully: “I don’t want to dwell too much on this, but I have long argued that the show has fundamentally mishandled Ian’s disorder by refusing to acknowledge how it would impact his day-to-day life. When I asked showrunner Nancy Pimental about this back in 2016, the answer was basically that they didn’t think people wanted to see Ian “popping medications all the time,” but I’d argue that it makes any stories they do want to tell about his bipolar disorder weaker. If they just put in a small amount of legwork discussing his disorder—a mention of a doctor’s appointment, a scene of him picking up a prescription—it would make it less like the show is just circling back to his disorder when it’s convenient for the story. The idea that Ian had to search so deeply to realize that it was his bipolar disorder that was creating his reluctance to marry Mickey (or anyone) implies that even he doesn’t have it at the front of his mind, and while perhaps that’s a defense mechanism the show has set the issue aside too long for that to be articulated. I’m happy the show is finally bringing it back to the surface, and Ian and Mickey’s eventual reconciliation will be better for it, but it doesn’t change the mistakes made along the way.”

Could Ian’s bipolar disorder be part-or even the cause-of his issues about marriage?  Absolutely.  Has the show done anything before tonight, other than the Season 5 finale, to indicate this?  Absolutely not. 

Plus, within the episode itself, Ian acts as if Mickey’s the one who has a problem, not him.  He tells the assembled family members that Mickey “will work it out of his system” (with Byron) and then be ready to talk things out, so...

Anyway, to go back to the beginning of the episode-if online friends and others hadn’t pointed out that Ian was thinking of Mickey here

it never would’ve occurred to me that he was.  I’ve never seen Mickey in that bed-and I haven’t seen Mickey and Ian in bed together in YEARS.  Prison bunks don’t count-and even if they did-Mickey bucked him out of there so fast in their first episode this season it couldn’t have counted anyway.  

And that brings me to something that also bothers me about the entire way they’re handling this marriage problem of Ian’s-we haven’t seen Mickey and Ian interact in any meaningful way since they got out of prison.  The writers have been hellbent on throwing even more obstacles in their path at every turn-which, I get, yes, that’s a big part of storytelling.  But these guys have all the traps with none of the downtime to relax and recover together-and to let the audience see what’s going on while catching their breath.  They cut the scenes where it was just two of them in the same room, talking about what we’ll never know because they were CUT.  

These two have had enough angst-if the show really wanted us to believe the logical destination for them was down the wedding aisle, why not give us a season of them growing together instead of tearing them apart again?  They were in prison living right on top of each other-couldn’t the comedy have come from them getting out and sticking just as close, even when they didn’t have to?  Couldn’t we have had scenes of them sitting together on the couch, Mickey drowsing while Ian’s watching some dumb reality dating show Mickey has no interest in, but he’s there because Ian’s there and they both like feeling the warmth their bodies generate merely by being close?  Couldn’t we have them talking in bed, long into the night-Ian asking Mickey to remind him to get a renewal for his prescription; Mickey having an “oh crap” moment when he’s telling Ian how he spilled his Orange Julius on his (cute) khaki shorts and remembers at 2 in the morning that the other pair is in the laundry and Ian tells him it’s fine, he washed them with his own clothes and even ironed them and they’re hanging in the closet?  Have Ian find a You Tube video about making a recipe that tastes “just like” Kentucky Fried Chicken at home to save money, so Mickey’s hanging out in the kitchen while Ian’s attempting to make it with disastrous results and they wind up with Mickey calmly putting the big lid from the spaghetti pot over the grease fire Ian starts in the frying pan and telling Ian he’ll spring for the twenty bucks to get a bucket of extra crispy for their supper?  Couldn’t we have just had that interspersed with actually discussions about what they’re feeling or going through?  The show, via up till now unknown Sandy, tried to convince us it was giving us domestic Gallavich-why didn’t they just write it?

Anyway, I did like the fact that Ian had to wake up, put some clothes on, put his boot on, get himself down the stairs and Mickey was STILL pretending to kiss Byron behind his big honeydew melon helmet after all that implied time passed for Ian to do all that shit with his injury ;)  Mickey is nothing if not fully committed to making sure Ian knows what he’s missing out on.  

Mickey packing up his shit and telling Ian “when you know, you know” was to me equal parts funny and frustrating because it was like he was telling Ian A: Mickey knows how he feels about Ian and B: Ian should know how he feels about Mickey by now-but he clearly doesn’t.  I thought having Mickey say Byron might be a Koch was a weird choice-I don’t think either Mickey or Ian (and most of the show’s target audience) would know that would mean his family-it it’s THOSE Kochs-are rich af, and if the show wanted to argue Mickey thought it meant his heir to the Coca-Cola fortune or that they somehow hold a patent on cocaine they can drop fucking dead.  And the stretch to try to make the joke about Byron studying something from Britain vs “English” was painful.

And flashing back to S6 yet again, the show had Ian belittle Mickey twice-first by saying his emotional IQ is lower than Carl’s actual IQ (and, again, by the end of the show we’re supposed to think it’s Ian who is emotionally blocked, but how are we supposed to believe it or have sympathy when he was mocking Mickey-who is actually quite open with Ian when it comes to his emotions), and then secondly by claiming that Mickey has freakishly small hands.  Well, Ian, you have a freakishly large head, and it doesn’t seem to dwarf Mickey’s mitts:

The scene with Debbie didn’t enrage me for once, and I was shocked.  But I was glad she told him to marry Mickey to make him happy-but again in that scene Ian was searching for a reason after the fact to justify his still even a mystery to him reluctance to marry.  

The scene with Lip was the best one they’re probably going to have for quite a while, maybe ever at the rate the show is going, but again, violent flashbacks to Ian’s Faileb/Trash days when he said “Debbie told me to” (marry Mickey).  Remember those lost seasons where he did anything those bozos told him to and never stood up for himself?  And also, if the show wasn’t wasting so much time with scenes of Frank tied to a bed and Debbie grooming an under-aged girl, Lip and Ian could’ve talked further, maybe delved into what Lip suggests Ian figure out for himself someday.  If we could actually see Ian trying to get to the root of the problem, maybe it wouldn’t feel like the white board didn’t just say something like: Mickey/Ian break up-bipolar???  

Their last scene of the episode had a lot of good stuff in it, even if ultimately it just broke down in the end with the lazy writing.  Ian shoving the ring at Mickey and Mickey being let down by finding out not only is Ian not trying a little too late to salvage the engagement, but he’s making some lame “promise” and claims Gallaghers don’t break their promises-how can he say that to Mickey of all people?  Name one promise Ian KEPT to Mickey!  Noel, as always, plays out so much emotion without saying a word, and the heartbreak is palpable.  And when he says Ian is saying he doesn’t love him enough?  Noel!  He makes it all so real.  And we’re not let off the hook yet.  But Mickey calling Byron by the wrong name, Ian pointing it out, and Mickey countering with he answers to whatever the fuck I call him was a nice throwback to the days of Mickey’s refusal to use Ian’s first name AND all the nicknames he came up with from Fire Crotch to Sleepy Face and Mumbles and almost makes me believe that the writer of the week maybe bothered watching at least the Gallavich scenes videos on You Tube.  Almost.  I’m more ready to believe Noel improvised that line in there himself ;)  

We then get the reuse/recycle scene of Ian saying how there’s so much wrong with him and how he doesn’t know himself from one day to the next (so, again, would’ve been nice if there had been evidence of him feeling that way/dealing with it before last night), when he says to Mickey “how do you know that’s who you want to spend the rest of your life with?” I thought Mickey’s answer of “Jesus Christ, Ian” was perfect.  He wasn’t going to stand there and give Ian a list of the many, many times he’s proven his love for Ian or try to coddle Ian and kiss him to try to make it better.  Mickey’s finally figured out it’s up to Ian to either believe in Mickey’s mighty love or not, but Mickey’s done trying to sell it.  Mickey’s gotta be so tired of all this-all along he’s done what Ian wants, even back when it was putting his own safety in jeopardy (another thing that I hate about the Terry retcon-remember when he was yelling his head off in the background when Mickey told Ian he’d meet him at the store in twenty, even tho it wasn’t a good time?  Ever since that day, Mickey has always done everything in his power to give Ian what Ian thought he needed or wanted from Mickey).  

Anyway, maybe I’m just a bear of very little imagination, but I honestly don’t see that they’re going to write anything that wraps up all this “tension” and Ian’s inability to commit well.  By the end of the episode, I was picturing that they’ll have Mickey and Ian do a non-singing version of the Elephant Love Medley from Moulin Rouge to get Ian over his qualms about marriage.  It fits in perfectly with the writers stealing from other stories, plus the whole thing is 4 minutes, which is considered a long scene for IxM these days.  

The last we see of Ian, he takes a little detour to piss in the Vespa’s tank, and so now we’ve had two scenes of Paula getting at Ian’s junk, one of the Vespa with it, one scene of Mickey’s cousin grabbing Mickey’s dick, while that scene with the mayonnaise lube was the one and only time Ian and Mickey have come close to each other’s genitals/having sex all season.  For all we know, they haven’t had it since-especially since Mickey had that telling line of getting bitchy when nothing’s been up his ass for a while...

(Gif credits: Ian and pillow-sickness-health-all-that-shit, Club kiss-mickeygifs)

[deanie1987]

Mostly positive thoughts about Shameless 10x11 Location, Location, Location

This wasn’t my favorite episode of the season, but I really enjoyed it. As always, I wish we could have gotten a little bit more in the way of emotional scenes/real in depth dialogue, but clearly this is not the show for that anymore. But I’m going to be positive and there was a lot to like in this episode:

The general nonchalance and irritation with which both Ian and Mickey registered the fact that Terry was outside of the house screaming his head off. Then the fact that Mickey told him that he was irritating everyone LOL.

This episode was full of great line readings and one of my favorites was the way that Mickey said “I DEFINITELY love one.”

I thought Terry’s line “it does if it falls on a dick” was kind of funny. I’m not proud of myself.

I loved how Ian was trying to get Lip to talk about the move to Milwaukee and then trying to get Lip to talk to Tami about it as well. He mentioned it a couple of times and was trying to be supportive of the move. Either the self-help books he read in prison really helped or that boy has been in therapy and didn’t tell anyone about it.

Along those lines, I appreciated that Ian seemed a bit concerned about Lip and the move. He was clearly thinking about it and distractedly playing with his ring right after Lip left. It reminded me of when he was in prison and worried about Lip, Tami and the baby and the way he looked last week when Lip made his announcement. I don’t know if Cam does this on purpose, but it seems like he has different mannerisms or facial expressions for different characters. The way he smiles at Mickey or the softness of tone he uses for Mickey, for example, was different than the softness he used for Monica.

I loved seeing Mickey at home in the Gallagher kitchen and interacting with the various Gallaghers. It has been one of the things that I’ve wanted most this season and I’m trying hard (and pretty much failing) not to be bitter that it took until the second to the last episode of the season. The promo for next week and the thought of season 11 helps though.

Another great line reading with Ian’s “what is happening?” and literally every single facial expression that he had during all of the wedding vendor scenes. From the eye-rolls to the stunned expression to the warning glances to various shop clerks and finally trying to limp after Mickey on the way to the caterers and his increasingly exasperated YESes as Mickey barked out questions about the infamous chairs.

I liked Sandy in this episode. I liked her being on Mickey’s side and I like her offense at Ian’s seeming indifference and incompetence. She and Noel play off each other well. I loved the line readings of “I can see why you called me” and Mickey’s sincere “thank you.” My favorite thing, however, is the disdain that she and Ian seem to have for one another. When Mickey asked about Ian’s ring, the way that Ian kept glancing guiltily at Sandy as he answered made me laugh. He’s like, “not only do I have to deal with Mickey but now this judgmental bitch too.”  LMAO!

As much as the groomzilla stuff was played for laughs, I loved that Mickey took all of it extremely seriously. He has opinions about stuff, he’s clearly done his research and he wants the best for his big day. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if he has thought about his wedding day with Ian before. He knows what song he wants, he can envision how it looks and I love that he is focusing on the “atmospheric” stuff like candles, music, flowers, etc., rather than the more practical stuff like food and drinks. Mickey is an artist after all.

I wasn’t sure how to feel about Mickey as Groomzilla when we first saw the preview but I totally get it now, and as per usual, Noel played every between the lines note perfectly. Mickey seemed unbothered by Terry after their altercation but his increasing stress level and emotion was palpable. After everything it took to get himself and Ian to this point, obstacles keep getting thrown in his way and by the time they’re sitting at the Alibi he is overwhelmed and anxious. Noel conveyed both the humor of the situation (I cracked up everytime Mickey threw down his pen in annoyance and every time that he shot Ian an exasperated look). But he also conveyed the anguish that Mickey must have felt as he tried to do something meaningful and joyous and NORMAL. People in love plan wedding everyday, why can’t Mickey? Why does everything have to suck?

And I appreciate the patience that Ian had with him and the way that it slowly dawned on him that Mickey really did care about all of the wedding stuff AND that he was more affected by his dad than he was willing to admit. And I liked that he was willing to indulge Mickey on his plans but also gently remind him of why they were there. Because they’re Mickey and Ian.

I will admit that I am not a Bon Jovi fan and I often run my car off the road trying to turn the radio station should Living on a Prayer or Dead or Alive come on. I also don’t reeealllly believe that of all of the hair band power ballads that Mickey could choose from he would pick a Bon Jovi song. BUT I will admit that the lyrics do fit and the scene itself was sweet. The singer was terrible but that somehow made it better. As cute as Ian’s gesture was, I was still a little underwhelmed. Maybe it’s just that seeing Ian so much more expressive toward Mickey is still new to me and I notice it more, but I sort of felt that Noel underplayed this scene just like the proposal. Or at least the version that made it air. I wanted to feel more from this scene than I did. Is it just me? I think it might just be me. And it makes me a little nervous for next week because I really want tears and heartfelt vows and not misdirected emotion and 100% shenanigans.

As for everyone else, Liam was better this week. I’m so glad that the show remembered that he is only a ten year old kid, who misses his siblings and his father. I don’t know if the actors who played Debbie and Carl were better at that age or if it was the writing or a combination of both, but I still don’t feel for Liam the way that I felt for them for whatever reason and I wish I did.

I didn’t mind that Lip, Ian and Mickey let him ride the L to find Frank on his own because Debbie was running a daycare at that age, Ian was 4 years away from having sex with his boss and god knows the kind of stuff that Lip and Fiona were dealing with at that age. They shield him and encourage him where they can but he’s one of Frank Gallagher’s kids and in their view, he should be able to ride the L by himself to the nice side of Chicago without holding anybody’s hand. The fact that Lip told him to check in once he got there is probably more than any of the other kids got at that age.

Lip getting cold feet makes perfect sense to me as did all of the reasons he gave Tami. Lip doesn’t ever want to leave the Southside of Chicago. That has been hammered into our brains since season 1. He says he does and I think a part of him WANTS to want to leave, but he doesn’t really. He has always liked being a big fish in a little pond and he has always liked succeeding without having to make an effort. That’s who he is and his story with Tami could really be interesting, because for the first time, he has a real reason to try to work things out with a woman who is “forcing” him to better himself. And he has a reason beyond himself to want to do it. It is an organic and interesting dynamic and I hope it goes into season 11. I also see Tami’s side as well. I like her and I like her with Lip and I think that the actress is good enough to go toe to toe with JAW. All of this makes me very happy.

Frank’s screen time continues to be ridiculous. How many times did we need to see Frank walking nervously down the hallway looking for a ghost. I didn’t even hate his scenes this episode but there were soooo many of them in a time when that time could be spent elsewhere.

I’m glad Carl is trying to do good, but I don’t care. Debbie looks good in that tux, but again, I don’t care. Kev’s line reading of “do you even lift, bro” was funny. Vee looked incredible doing her plank on the keg. But...you guessed it...I don’t care.

The promo for next week looks INCREDIBLE. I have a tiny bit of hope that outside of Lip, the majority of the storyline will be the Gallaghers trying to white trash the shit out of this wedding and I hope that everyone will be involved. There is a lot of plot to move on that score and there are some things that I really, really want to see happen in the next episode (which I will probably post about later), so I’m trying to keep my expectations low.

[its-a-queer-thing]

In Case You Missed It Pt 7-2x02

When Ian goes to pick Mickey up from juvie, notice Mickey’s eyes don’t stray from Ian basically from the time he notices him.

Of course, he has to play it cool so he can’t show that he’s happy Ian’s there because Mandy still doesn’t know Mickey is gay, but let’s consider something: Maybe, despite all of the effort Ian has put into their arrangement and how hard Ian has clearly been pining after Mickey, *maybe* Mickey is surprised that Ian is there to pick him up. Maybe he really didn’t realize how dedicated this little goof was to him and is genuinely confused as to why his fuck-buddy is there.

 Ian has a backup story (however bad it is) to excuse his desire to see Mickey as soon as possible. Of course, it’s completely silly and Mickey doesn’t buy it for a second.

Allow me a moment to point out a teeny detail regarding Mickey’s attitude towards women. He easily could have accepted Ian’s piss poor excuse, but Mickey will not allow his sister’s capability of defending herself to be insulted. He knows full damn well that young woman can kick major ass and as sweet as it is that Ian risked their secret going to see him, Mickey will not allow this piss poor excuse to belittle Mandy’s ability to defend herself because she is fully capable and she’s a Milkovich.

Now of course we need to talk about Mickey’s slight immaturity because I’m sure this next part irritated some people. 

Let’s keep in mind however that these are not only siblings, but siblings who are close in age. And a lot of people seem to forget Mickey’s age at this point in the show anyway (maybe because Noel is significantly older? I don’t know...) But I’ll clarify for you. Ian is about a year and a half younger than Mickey and Ian probably just turned 15 when the show started so let’s assume that Mickey is a fresh 17 right now. Even though we seem to hold 17 year olds to a high maturity standard in our fiction, a lot of 17 year olds (in particular boys) in our reality are still SUPER immature! And that’s just how the cookie crumbles. I will also argue that for siblings this close in age it’s super easy to fall into immature behavior (such as titty twisters and juvenile bickering).  I personally find this exchange hilarious though some people may find it odd or inappropriate.

Next comes the most beloved and hilarious example of Mickey’s immaturity, his clear disregard for authority.

 This kid has probably never had to answer to any authority figure in his life other than his father and perhaps his mother before his stint in Juvie. We don't know if the Milkovich children have been in the foster system as it's already been established the Gallaghers have, we don't know if they have had to answer to authority figures such as teachers (for all we know they run rampant in school or just never go and of course Terry wouldn’t care one way or the other), we already know that shop owners are not off limits, we see Mickey effectively dodging law enforcement.... So who really has been in Mickey's life to show him a need for respect of authority figures? 

No one before now that we can see. 

He's now had to answer to authority figures in juvie and he likely learned how to get around authority figures in juvie from Iggy so he probably didn’t learn much while in there unfortunately. Other than that, it seems as though the Milkovich family has a habit of laughing at authority because they believe they can get around whatever trouble they find themselves in, in their struggle to survive. 

Obviously because this is fiction, him flipping off authority figures is only funny because it’s fiction. If this were real life it wouldn't be, but as we connect these two situations (reality and fiction) let’s try to learn something from this: keep in mind that we know a lot more about Mickey than we would any random kid flipping off authority figures. We don't know why a lot of thugs don't have respect for authority figures because there can be numerous reasons that many of us will never understand. It could be that they have never had one, it could be that their authority figures taught them to be disrespectful to others and only respect them, it could be their authority figures didn't enforcing anything or prove that authority figures need to be respected and obeyed, for them we don't know if they have been raised to laugh at authority figures and believe that they are in fact above the law as I suspect Mickey has been. 

So obviously I'm not excusing his disrespect for authority figures or condoning his blatant disrespect for police, but if we look at his background and we understand why he wouldn't have respect for authority figures, I think we can start to get a better picture of why thugs do not respond to law enforcement and do not answer to authority figures the way we in society expect them to.

Then we get a teeny glimpse of more Gallavich development as Ian leads Mickey away from brewing trouble. Notice at first Mickey allows himself to be lead away by Ian, but then remembers himself...

He seems to start accepting the affection before remembering that wall he’s supposed to have up. Remembering that this is not a relationship, it’s a friendship with some fucking involved. We have officially moved past just fucking into friendship territory...

 So now let's move on to the baseball field scene. Here we are really seeing the friendship that Ian and Mickey have, and they have just bounced right back to where they left off, even developing past where they left off really. It’s possible that Ian visited Mickey a couple of times and what would we expect to happen from their actually sitting down and having no other choice BUT to talk to each other? That’s right, when they have no option to take their clothes off and can only talk it stands to reason that they would develop a true friendship. They aren't just fuck buddies anymore... they are actual friends and we didn't really get to see that in the first season. 

But here we see Ian telling Mickey what he's been up to he's taking a lot of classes over the summer and Mickey’s engaging in the conversation, reacting and teasing him and going back and forth with him.

At first glance it may seem as though Mickey is dismissing Ian’s potential for achieving this goal, but here’s what I see. I see Mickey feeling unconcerned by the looming threat of Ian’s goals because Mickey is still in denial that he cares enough about what will happen to Ian some three or four years in the future since Ian is still too young to enlist and Mickey knows it. Because there is still so much time before Ian can enlist and Mickey is a very in the moment kind of guy, he doesn’t even acknowledge his concern for this kid though I’m sure deep down he’s impressed by Ian’s dedication. Of course though as we already mentioned, Mickey has a huge disregard for authority figures so Ian’s aspiring to not only subject himself to a career in which he’s surrounded by authority figures but then to himself become one is likely an irony that is not lost on this little thug. And if there *is* any anxiety that Mickey feels about Ian’s future, of course he’s going to cover it up with a joke because he’s still trying to convince himself that what he feels for Ian is a lot less than what it actually is.

BUT if we are going to talk about Mickey’s apparent disinterest in Ian, we HAVE to pay attention to The Look. Though hopefully this is the point where most Mickey haters even stop arguing that Mickey is disinterested in Ian, I’m going to show this anyway on the slim chance some people missed it.

 Look at him watching every single move Ian makes. Think I’m crazy or that I’m reading too far into it?

There he is still watching him. Laughing with him, drinking him in.

Now here he is trying to act cool and “whatever” about it, but then look at the way he is drinking Ian in...

Look at how they look at each other here... Mickey is trying to act so nonchalant about just wanting to get to the sex, but look at his face! Look at how he is eating Ian up with his eyes and looks genuinely excited to be with him; there is a glitter in his eye that speaks volumes about how he’s actually feeling. And he maintains eye contact with Ian the. Entire. Time! I will scream until my dying breath that this Look says it all about how Mickey really feels about Ian. I think a lot of Mickey haters are missing the little details that Noel Fisher puts into this character to show that yes he is interested, yes he is falling in love just like Ian is (maybe not quite at the same time or the same pace but it is there) and that this is definitely going somewhere. He feels a connection with him, hence the eye contact, he loves the physical connection and chemistry they have, hence how desperately he wants to move on to the sex he’s been denied for a little over a year.

Now we're going to get into the depressing stuff... We're going to look at Mickey’s self-esteem and how he views himself. This is important for Mickey haters to see because how someone views themselves greatly impacts how they treat others and how they interact with others. So, Mickey values his strength and power above basically anything else and I argue he was raised to believe this both directly and through personal experience. He is an intelligent person despite how many jokes are made at Mickey's expense pointing out his lack of education, so when Ian just starts casually doing pull-ups, Mickey automatically jumps on that and tries to one up, and in fact doubles, Ian’s display, and brags that there's nothing else to do in the joint but work out. 

When Ian suggests that Mickey could read (showing Ian’s value for education to reach goals and potential) Mickey scoffs. 

Why? because we learn in season 3 that he has basically a freshman's education, he has not passed a single class in high school which is probably because of his involvement in his dad’s business, he’s now spent a good bit of time in Juvie and I can't imagine Juvie having a very promising education program (I am completely assuming, if someone knows differently, let me know), and even when he was in school he was paying Lip to write his papers for him so the chances of him taking education seriously in the first place is quite slim. So basically, Mickey never even got a chance to see the value in education and has learned that power and brawn is what gets you places, and anything about himself that does not contribute to those things he views as useless.

Now at first this may just seem like Mickey scoffing at the idea of reading because lots of people of all backgrounds dislike reading (OW my English major heart!!!)  BUT what I even missed the first time, and Mickey haters may have missed, was this really sad and really revealing line showing Mickey’s whole outlook on his life.

It isn’t even so much that he doesn’t like to read (though it’s probably safe to assume there’s that too) but what’s the point of him getting an education? His father has trained him to be the perfect thug, to inspire fear in anyone so he can help out in daddy’s little drug ring despite his young age. All of Mickey’s dreams (if he ever had them) are down the toilet to him because even if he wanted to live a law-abiding life and do things the “right way,” he probably doesn’t even know where to start at this point, because he’s never had to do something “the right way” in his life; and besides that, his father would never let him go. Mickey’s been raised to believe the southside mentality, which is what Lip kept chanting to Fiona in season three, “the only way to make it in the southside is to scam it, or steal it.”

So because he has no trust in the system or in his own ability to make it on his own gifts, he has to develop himself in ways that are familiar, and what is familiar is the thug life. He's accustomed to stealing and scamming and threatening his way through survival, and he knows that book smarts are not going to help him with that. 

So now he’s being forced to act as though he gives a shit about going straight in his life because a condition of his probation is to find legitimate employment. And even there, he has no idea where to start. He has a reputation for stealing and menacing so basically any storefront/retail is out, (could we ever see Mickey bussing tables????). His idea of what jobs he’s capable of doing, or expected to do reveals a lot about him and our society. 

For Mickey his only options are the meat-packing plant and tarring roofs or some other form of construction or dangerous work. The fact that I just automatically sighed in pity for this boy due to these options reveals a lot about how our society views these workers. I feel like in media in particular these skilled workers are frequently stereotyped as having a record or being under-qualified (otherwise incapable) for anything else (ex. Law & Order SVU, most released rapists they question work in meat packing districts or construction), but the truth is if we didn’t have these workers, our country would fall apart real quick. Literally. Anyway, that was off-topic but I definitely felt needed to be said. Food for thought, you’re welcome. :)

This conversation also reveals Mickey’s lack of trust in the system. Keep in mind that Mickey is still young, 17, but the system is treating him as an adult despite the fact that he just came out of a juvenile detention center. Mickey is convinced his probation officer is going to find him a job definitely meant for adults and because it is a dangerous job, this reveals a disregard people feel for released criminals (even child aged ones) who are supposed to be getting rehabilitated to become productive members of society. 

In this country it seems, once a criminal always a criminal. Mickey knows the system doesn’t believe in him, his father is going to make him go back to doing the same old shit, and no one cares about that factor, so why should he care? At this point it seems he’s just going to go through the motions until he gets caught doing something else and gets thrown in prison.

Going back to education, we know that Mickey’s smart (despite the many jokes made at his expense) because he's wicked good with numbers as we see in season 4, plus he is smart enough to skirt around the edges of the law (and whether we like to admit that or not it does show some intelligence. It does actually take a capable and intelligent person to get away with crime as much as we don't want to admit that). 

So the heartbreaking thing about this moment is, Ian still has potential and can still make something of himself in a way that will satisfy society’s standards of a “good” citizen... Mickey doesn’t (or at least doesn’t believe he does). Ian also still has some trust in the system and still sees value in education. Ian’s optimism, while heartwarming, is not inspiring to Mickey because Mickey sees the realistic course of his life and has already accepted it.

Next we go back to examining their relationship development. We are seeing little glimpses of their friendship (the shotgunning, the talking, Ian trying to help Mickey with his probation) and this is super important. I don't think Mickey haters quite understand why this matters so much, but it matters because Mickey is participating in this relationship with Ian now. It isn't just having sex and leaving anymore, they talk they listen to each other, try to be an ally for each other, and that's the start of something huge.  

So here we see another boundary set. Though the line has definitely moved as their friendship has developed, Mickey is still trying to keep a distance and in this case it’s by reminding Ian that talking about community college, making plans in this way is too domestic, too settled. These are the conversations that boyfriends have (at least as Mickey understands it). Ian, luckily, accepts this boundary and drops the subject. Ian, however, is still clearly pining after Mickey and wants to spend as much time with him as Mickey is willing to give.

Obviously this is a strange suggestion, but Ian is at least trying to help. At least working at the store Mickey wouldn’t be working a dangerous job where he could get hurt and they would get to spend more time together; a win-win!

Of course though, because it’s Mickey and he’s missed Ian (though he won’t admit to that at this point) he shuts down the more intimate discussion of jobs and the future, they go back to having sex.

So if anyone is honestly wanting to say Mickey isn’t genuinely into him... Look at that smug little smirk and tell me that boy isn’t smitten.

Moving on to Mickey's first shift at the Kash and Grab I want to look at this scene to further develop Mickey's background because I can't see anything controversial about Gallavich in particular. First and foremost, despite Linda automatically assuming Mickey is going to steal from the store (not that I can blame her, really)

Mickey is actually taking this job seriously. First he stops two kids who think they are going to stuff their pockets

And then Frank.

Considering Mickey has zero sense of control in his life and doesn’t believe that he will ever amount to more than a thug, it actually reveals a good deal that he is taking this job seriously and is putting forth even the minimal effort required.

Next, I’d also like to point out that the reason he feels his life will amount to nothing more than street success, if even that, is because of his Dad. It hasn’t been established WHAT exactly his Dad does. What we know at this point in the series is Terry is a jailbird, he and his children have a lack of respect for the cops, and he and his children sometimes do “runs”. In the future however we will hear some hints that Terry deals with a little bit of every genre of illegal activity from illegal weapon sales, drugs, to possibly mercenary work? In this scene we get a hint at the drugs. 

Mickey quickly tries to set up shop for drugs when Lip and Kev are stocking up their ice cream van.

Mickey has been raised for this and probably is expected to help out in the family business, and has a limited conscience for it due to his exposure to this business. I can't prove that this is influenced by Terry, and I can’t prove that Mickey is being forced, but what I do know is that in future episodes I see some evidence that not only is Terry behind this but that Mickey isn’t too fond of the dirty business he’s been dragged into. 

I also want to pay attention to Mickey's face when Kev says no to the hard stuff and Lip starts talking to Ian about his tutoring.

 It could be that I am reading too deep into this... however just the way that the camera zoomed in on Mickey’s face when he was just standing there, and the way he looked away, he looked a little uncomfortable, maybe even a little sad... All of this makes it seem weighted and a deliberate choice which tells me it is in fact an insight to how Mickey is feeling. It makes me think that maybe he hadn't before consciously thought of what he was doing with his dad’s business; this leads me to believe that his role in this drug ring was involuntary and he probably never even thought of the effects that these harder drugs would have on people (especially young people) and this almost contemplative face makes me think that maybe this is the first time he's thinking about that. 

 Then lip tells Ian to keep practicing the geometry theorems. Mickey overhears this as well and I also think that sadness in his face comes from knowing that Ian has a future, Ian has potential and options, Ian can go so much further than Mickey can and maybe in a way Mickey is a little jealous of that. 

So at first he questions why geometry theorems? Halfway through Ian’s explanation, Mickey gets a little distracted...

 Anyway, here we are again with this foil of Ian's future and Mickey's contrasting futures. Mickey is likely doomed to Terry's life. He's being groomed into a mini Terry and let's be honest how many of us honestly want to become our parents, as in full replicas of our parents, whether you have a positive or negative relationship with your parents? Here Mickey is following Terry's footsteps as far as we can see; he has temper, he is in and out of juvie, and he's already started selling drugs for his father.

Ian on the other hand is the exact opposite of his father, which we see right after this conversation. Instead of following Frank's footsteps, Ian sees what happens when you don't chase after your full potential and so then here Ian is chasing after his full potential and doing everything he can to achieve his goals. I think that Mickey recognizes that and is maybe a little jealous that Ian has options that he will never have because he already has a record and already has a reputation that will keep him from achieving everything that he can achieve.

But of course, that reputation can come in handy too...

Mickey’s reputation commands obedience from lots of people in the south side and that’s because that’s how you get what you want in that community: fear and power. Ian is striving after military power and respect but doesn’t command that south side respect that Mickey does. This is something Mickey has over Ian at this point, despite his knowing that in the future, Ian will have the upper hand by far.

For now, Mickey returns to teasing Ian to re-establish their friendship dynamic.

And for a second, Ian brings it back to their constant unspoken conversation on sexuality. For the first time we do get true insight to what Mickey believes this is. He has definitely reduced his sexuality to a kink, though of course deep down he knows he’s genuinely attracted to men (Ian). This is the first time we see Mickey even starting to accept his sexuality and make it clear that his sexuality will not define him.

That’s all I’ve got for 2x02! Let me know if I missed anything or drop me a line to discuss something further! 

Until next time lovelies! <3

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