#in fact i had to go and look up older upload posts to check my tags and usual notes

[yutahoes]

Caramel

(Part Fourteen)

gif by @noyuta I can't find the gif I always include in the story so just saved it and uploaded it. I'm sorry.

characters: ex-stripper! company vice-president! Yuta x female! ex-wealthy! secretary! mom! Y/N genre: chaptered, smut, angst, fluff word count: 4.4k words

summary: Y/N has everything in her bitter life, not until she meets a sweet-looking stripper.

warnings: matured theme, ex-stripper au!, third person POV, cursing, mentions of killing but in exclamation only

taglist: @cherrymotodude @tenjyucat @justsomekpopstuff @ilhoonseyeballs @whyme11 @a-bts-world @amazinggraxia

a/n: Supposed to post this last Wednesday but the news broke and I'm just shocked, disappointed, and devastated. Had to edit a whole scene because I didn't want to write his name at all. Also had to remove a sensitive scene that is closely related to the issue. The next chapter will be the last one and I promise there won't be any plot twists.

Haechan was annoyed at Mark’s constant questions about his plan to get the two back together. He needed a window of opportunity to make his plan work. No, scratch that. Haechan doesn’t need a window, he just needs a small seep of light to make his plan work. 

A small crack that happened a week after he first met Kenshin. “Haechan, prepare for a lunch meeting.” 

The younger one coughed, “Hyung, I’m not really feeling well.” He sniffled which earned a confused look from the two older people in the room. “Can I skip the meeting today? Noona could come with you.” 

Yuta seemed to regard the suggestion by lightly glancing at the girl who was already standing up to check on Haechan. “Are you alright?” She asked in worry, walking to his table to check on him. When the younger sneezed, Yuta held Y/N’s waist in instinct to pull her away from the younger guy. Haechan wanted to smile, the skinship looked too natural. The older guy had to apologize quietly, removing his hands from her, but the girl shook her head even thanking him. “Do you want to go home?” 

“And leave the two of you alone?” Yuta gave him a pointed look. “I’ll be fine, noona. I just needed to rest a bit.” He coughed once again. “You should go prepare and assist Hyung in his meeting.” 

With a sigh, Yuta nodded. “We’ll be leaving in ten minutes.” 

Haechan had a smile on his face when his boss entered his office and the older woman went back to her desk to fix her things. They’re finally alone. Now he’ll have to wait and see where this could lead them. He should immediately tell Mark that his plan has now commenced.

Yuta was awkwardly sitting in the backseat of his car while Y/N was seated in the passenger seat, enthusiastically talking to the driver. He didn’t know what Haechan was planning but why would he decline a lunch meeting? Obviously, he’s not sick. That's a free meal and he doesn’t have anything to do but listen to the conversation on the table. What makes him more nervous is the fact that the planned meeting will happen in his favorite restaurant. 

The driver opened the door for him and Y/N came out of the car on her own. Is he even ready to show her inside? A lunch meeting with his female secretary isn’t even a problem - this is part of her job. But having lunch with the person you once loved in a restaurant where the owner surely knows your history together isn’t even normal. 

There was a familiar smile on the person by the reception which was replaced by a wide grin when the girl entered behind Yuta. “Oh my God, you two found each other!” Taeyong exclaimed, walking to where the two guests were then hugging Y/N. “I’m so happy to see you two together.” 

Yuta shook his head. “She’s my secretary.” 

Taeyong had to look at the man in surprise then at the girl who only nodded, “What happened to the chatty one?” Y/N only giggled, reasoning that Haechan was sick and couldn’t come with the vice president today. “And I thought you two were finally together,” he claimed once again, making Yuta hiss. He quickly sat on the spot by the window which had a reserved card above the table, Taeyong graciously pulled the chair for Y/N. “I’ll get the menu for you.” 

“Taeyong works here?” She asked but Yuta supplied that he owned the place. She exclaimed in awe. The interior of the restaurant is so warm, very different from the nightclub they once worked at. It was amazing. He did achieve a lot of nice things in life.   

Yuta was surprised that Taeyong pulled a chair to sit beside Y/N after he gave her the menu. The girl was quick to congratulate him on his restaurant. “When we got a huge money because of the closing of the club, I immediately opened this restaurant.” That was truly amazing, Y/N thought. She knew for a fact that it was her mom who bought the club. It was reflected in the money she took from the company when the investigation was taking place. She’s just glad that the money served a purpose and helped her friend’s life. 

“We also came to your wedding,” Taeyong shared making her stop. That was news to her. “But the guests were already leaving so we thought it was over. Jungwoo might have given us a different time.” Oh, she thought, that actually makes sense. And she thought they never came. 

The girl played with the napkin on the table before answering in a small voice, “I didn’t get married.” Taeyong stared at her in surprise. From the corner of her vision, she saw Yuta look her way as well. “Jaehyun stopped the wedding before it could happen.” 

What the hell? She didn’t get married and Jaehyun was the one who stopped the wedding? Yuta always thought that Jaehyun was perfect. He’s handsome, tall, and rich. Turns out, he might be crazy. How could you just let go of someone like Y/N?

Jaehyun must be stupid. That was the only idea running through Yuta’s mind while the president of Hikari Studios pitched his sale on how their games would help the Suzaki group grow. A conclusion came to him almost immediately, you cannot have everything in life. And he’s somewhat glad that Jaehyun didn’t get the girl. 

But what about their child? If they didn’t get married, then is Y/N the only one who takes care of their son? Is that why she’s working so hard? But surely, the multi-billionaire Jaehyun would have given her money to take care of the child if he could not take care of them. 

Or is it another man’s child? Did she fall in love with another man? 

Damn, that is more painful than the idea of her being married.

Yuta seemed out of it. Y/N doesn’t know why he agreed to the president’s idea when their company wouldn’t benefit much from the collaboration. There’s a much better way to advertise the Suzaki group without losing their profit. An idea Haechan could not understand even if Y/N kept explaining it to him. Of course, they’re just secretaries so they just adhere to their boss’ orders. And if he already agreed to the collaboration then it’s already final. 

Imagine her surprise being called into the vice president’s office because of her idea. She wanted to curse at Haechan but seeing Yuta listening intently at her made her think that he might need this. “You wanted to make a counteroffer?” He asked, staring at the file in front of him then glanced up at her from his eyeglasses. “How many days would you need to present this?” This is pretty easy. If there was one thing that she learned from her stepdad, that would be to make an effective counteroffer. She could make it immediately if she wants to. It’s just a presentation. What takes time would be her boss understanding the idea and presenting it on his own. “Can you make this in two days?” 

She nodded. “I’ll schedule a meeting with President Go of Hikari Studios.” He claimed that confused her. Two days? So she should finish it tomorrow for him to fully grasp the concept. “You’ll present it to him in two days.” 

“What?” Y/N asked in surprise. He wanted her to present it personally to the president? It’s his job, right? “I’m just a secretary. I can’t do this.” 

The corner of his lips turned up. “You’ve done this before, right?” This is just part of her work from before. She probably talked to a hundred company presidents and executives from way before. This is really easy. But Yuta had to consider that she didn’t hold any high-ranking position in his company. She is a secretary. “This is a well-thought-out presentation, Y/N. And if there’s someone I trust in making these decisions for the company, that would be you.” 

Wait. That is a heavy responsibility for just a measly secretary. “What if I mess this up?” 

Yuta stood up, removed his glasses then placed both his hands on the table that he was leaning close to her. “And what if it works out?” She visibly gulped. At the weight of his words or the close proximity, she wasn’t sure. “I trust you more than I trust myself in these company matters, Y/N. I know you’ll do great.” 

“How are you so sure about that?” The sentence came out before she could think about it. She isn’t doubting the vice president with his decisions, that’s the first thing you shouldn’t do as a secretary. But why her? Surely, there’s someone better than her. Haechan is better than her. Yuta is better than her. 

Yuta smiled. “Because it’s you, Y/N.” 

“Hyung,” Haechan came in the door that startled Yuta, making him sit down then stared at the file before him as if caught doing something illegal. “Am I disturbing something?” Y/N had to shake her head, excusing herself to leave. 

The first secretary placed another folder on the table before Yuta called both their attention. “Haechan, you have to take care of the Open House on your own. Y/N had some tasks she had to do.” The younger nodded. “Then grab an early lunch, you two.” 

“How about you, hyung?”

“President Suzaki invited me for lunch.” Both the secretaries just nodded. 

—-

“To be honest, noona, Open House is just a grand Suzaki clan gathering,” Haechan claimed while twirling his pasta. Y/N was apologetic because it seemed like Haechan would have more work because of this so-called Open House. Ever since Yuta had muttered the term and Haechan prepared the file for the event, Y/N had been curious. This is the first time she encountered just a thing. And if the whole company is preparing for this event, it must be a big deal. “It’s when all the president’s children come to the company.” 

“Children?” 

Haechan nodded, “Yuta hyung is the oldest then there’s like twenty other kids from different mothers.” Y/N gasped in disbelief. That is a huge exaggeration. “And every year, the number gets bigger.” 

So the rumors that Jaehyun said were true. The Suzaki president really is a womanizer but isn’t that too much? “The office will look like a huge children’s party, you should bring Kenshin.” The girl glared at Haechan. “It’s a large office and a lot of kids, I’m sure he wouldn’t notice your son.” 

“Besides, knowing about hyung would stop Kenshin from asking questions about his dad.” Y/N sighed.

The girl had been to countless meetings before. She had presented a million times before, it’s an everyday scenario when she was still the Chief Marketing Officer. An impossible feat now that she’s a secretary. A sigh of relief was all she could give when Haechan entered the conference room, cheering her on. To be fair, he came to the company before her and he should be given this opportunity first. She thought he would dislike her for that chance. But Haechan was thankful because he claimed he wouldn’t have the confidence to do any of these. Which is something that is hard to believe. 

Even before the scheduled time of meeting with the president of another company, Y/N had been asking the vice president if she really could do it. This would be huge if this pulls through. Working with Hikari Studios would boost the Suzaki company’s stocks and might evidently put them on the global market. Definitely, a huge responsibility lies on her shoulders now. 

With a heavy breath, she stared at both the President of Suzaki company and Hikari Studios who looked stern then at the vice president who was staring at her with a slight smile on his face. He believes in her. He knew she’d do great. 

She couldn’t blow this up. She needed to do her best. She cannot disappoint Yuta.  

Y/N is very charming. This was the first time Yuta had watched her in her craft and he couldn’t help but be amazed at her charm. Now he knows how she could attract those stakeholders to invest in the Kims. How every chairman wants Y/N in their company, even their family. His father, who was seated opposite him at the long table, was all smiles as he stared at the girl presenting the offer they had for the other company. What is with this fondness? She isn’t married and being a single mom hasn’t stopped his dad from adding another child to his growing list of children. She should protect her from him. 

Surely his dad might have known something. It’s impossible that he had hired her without any background checks, he should have known that she was the girl he had cried about for years. He probably knows something, right? But is his own father that evil to steal away the girl he badly yearned for all these years? Yuta isn’t too close to him to know exactly that. Just to be sure, he had to save her from him. But how? Should he marry her? 

Yuta watched as the girl made her last statement then smiled as she thanked the people who listened to her. She is very charming, very pretty. How can someone not fall in love with her? He’d kill to have her in his life, even his arms. Marrying her wasn’t a bad thought.  

It was a successful presentation, an agreement between two companies that would benefit them both. The president was so proud of Y/N that he was supposed to hug her but Yuta walked between the two. “She’s my employee, I’ll compensate for her hard work.” He claimed making Haechan laugh. 

Y/N was more nervous standing in front of Yuta in his office. She knew she did a great job, both presidents complimented her for the amazing presentation. So why is she suddenly called in her boss’ office? Yuta was signing the papers to be submitted to the other company as she watched, fingers drumming along her thigh in nervousness. “Are you going home early?” Yuta asked in a soft voice. Y/N had nothing left to do in the office. She just wanted to go home and have dinner with her son. But why would he ask that? “There’s a newly opened Michelin-starred seafood restaurant nearby. You like seafood right?” He asked in one breath, not even looking at her. 

“I don’t eat seafood.” Yuta stopped signing the paper, obviously startled. What? She loves seafood. “Can I just leave early tonight, sir? I’ll come in early tomorrow for the Open House.” Can’t they just have a decent dinner together? Does she hate him that much? 

Yuta nodded, handing her the folder that had the signed forms for the collaboration. “The party will begin at eight am tomorrow,” he reminded. “You should also bring your son along.” Y/N’s eyes were wide. Wait, how did he know that she has a son? “Haechan told me about him.” Y/N only nodded. 

—-- 

“Should I kill Haechan?” The girl asked making Mark giggle. Y/N even stabbed the grilled squid with a fork. “I shouldn’t have introduced Kenshin to him,” She claimed then bit the squid. “It’s not too late to tell Ken that he cannot come to the office tomorrow, right?”  

“After you asked him to sleep early?” Mark asked while shaking his head. The only reason she asked him to sleep early was because she wanted to eat seafood all of a sudden. While heading home, she tried to search for the new seafood restaurant her boss mentioned and craved the lobster from the homepage. Why is her son allergic to seafood when she loves it so much? “He’s already excited for the bouncy house.” 

Before Yuta mentioned her son, Haechan had made it a point to invite both Mark and Ken to the Open House. Y/N didn’t even know that her son could get enticed by a simple bouncy house. “Maybe Haechan doesn’t want any harm. It’s not bad though, Kenshin knowing about his dad would lessen his questions.” And she doesn’t know that Haechan and Mark are close. They almost have the same idea about this. 

She squinted her eyes at him, “Are you planning this with Haechan?” 

The younger guy giggled, “You know my money is on you and Jaehyun hyung ending up together, right?” The girl pouted. Jaehyun. Maybe Jahyun could help. Pretend that he’s Kenshin’s dad perhaps? But that would be very impossible. It only takes one look to know who Kenshin’s dad is and obviously, it isn’t Jung Jaehyun. “Noona, it’s a huge company building with a lot of kids. I’m sure your boss wouldn’t notice Ken.” 

Y/N sighed. There’s nothing she could do now. But nothing could go wrong, right? 

Yuta hated this event the most. All these kids running around the office building just because his father cannot calm his testosterone. The mothers of his siblings were either flirting with him or telling him to get married which annoyed the hell out of him. He blew the smoke of the cigarette, rolling his eyes at the thought. Marriage? That was a funny thing to say. How could he even get married when the girl he wants is in the building with her child? A son? Does he look like her? Maybe Jaehyun? Or maybe that other man who got her pregnant. 

With a final swig of the cigarette, Yuta smiled. If he wanted to see what her son looked like, he shouldn’t be hiding here.  

“Mommy said cigarettes are bad.” A young kid claimed that startled Yuta. The boy was wearing a Pororo T-shirt while pushing his eyeglasses up. A new face, this is the first time Yuta saw this kid. But there’s no doubt that this kid is one of his father’s sons. Those doe-like boba eyes. “You are so tall, uncle.” Uncle? “Can you carry me on your back?” Yuta stared at him, eyebrow raised. Who is his mom? Is it someone he knew? How old is he? Four? Five? “I just wanted to see if the air is different up there.” The guy had to laugh at that. 

Well, there is surely one way to know if he truly is a Suzaki kid. “Why don’t you ask your dad to do that?” 

The young boy pouted making Yuta smile. He’s cute. “I don’t have a dad.” Yes, he’s definitely a Suzaki kid. 

Compared to his other siblings, this kid is very talkative. All his siblings would either be too scared or embarrassed to talk to him. What makes him so endearing is how excited he got when he sat on Yuta’s shoulder. His giggles are so infectious that Yuta guessed he might have grown up in a loving environment.   

He was walking to the hallways of his office when he bumped into Haechan next to another guy who was wearing glasses. “Mark hyung,” the kid called. “Haechannie.” 

Wait, he knows Haechan? Both guys were looking at him in surprise. “Do you know him, Haechan?” Yuta asked. “Is he your brother?” 

The guy shook his head before another figure turned the corner. Y/N was holding a Pororo bag, about to talk to Haechan when she stopped in her tracks. “Mommy!” the kid called. “Look, I’m super tall now. The air here is very different.” 

“Mommy?” Yuta asked. His ears aren’t tricking him, right? But Y/N walked to where he was, asking the young boy to come down. She was so close to him as she carried the young boy but he remained frozen in his place. “Mommy?” Yuta repeated.    

The girl held the young boy’s hand. “This is my son, Kenshin.” She introduced then faced the younger boy, “That is my boss. Say hi to him, Ken.” 

The young boy was mirroring the same expression as Yuta, confused. “You said your boss is mean and scary.” Haechan snickered, taking Ken’s free hand and the Pororo bag. “Let’s go to the bouncy house.” 

Before Y/N could say something, Mark and Haechan were walking away holding both Kenshin’s hands. How could they meet like that? This is a huge office building with lots of kids. What are the odds that Yuta was carrying Kenshin on his shoulders? He probably knows, right? “That was your son?” She had to glance at Yuta in surprise. Wait, he doesn’t know? 

Yuta brushed his hair up. This is mind-boggling. That kid, with the infectious giggle, is his son. But he clearly has his father’s eyes. Is Y/N one of his father’s countless women? But how? It can’t be possible. But then again, those eyes. Traits that his siblings have, traits that they all got from his father. A sure sign that someone is a Suzaki. 

Then it hit. He also has the same eyes. He’s the oldest Suzaki child after all. And judging from his age. A gasp escaped Yuta’s lips. “He’s my son, isn’t he?” Y/N didn’t need to confirm his thoughts. Everything is clicking into place. “Fuck, Y/N, why didn’t you tell me?” His voice became louder and she visibly flinched. Some of the workers and guests walking in the hallway were looking at them. 

Yuta had no choice but to hold her hand and drag her to his office, closing the door behind him. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I thought you knew,” she reasoned out, making him puzzled. “You said Haechan told you.” 

The guy had to clench his fist in anger. “Haechan knows?” She nodded, “Lee Haechan, that kid. I’m going to kill that brat.” He breathed heavily before looking at her once again. “He only said you have a son, I didn’t know he was mine.” Even those words seemed very weird to say out loud for Yuta. “Why didn’t you just tell me the first time? You could have just walked to my office and told me, ‘Yuta, I have your son.’.” 

“And would you even believe me?” 

“God damn, Y/N!” he shouted and she stepped back in fright. “Even if you tell me right now that you have three eyes, I would blindly believe you.” He lightly punched his table. “You just have no idea how crazy I am for you, huh?” Yuta breathed hard. He cannot be mad right now. He needed answers. “Since when have you found out that you were pregnant?” 

The girl was fiddling her thumbs in nervousness. “I confirmed it a day before the wedding with Jaehyun.” 

“Is that why he didn’t marry you?” 

She shrugged. “I didn’t tell anyone.” Her voice was so soft that Yuta had to focus just to hear her words. “Jaehyun met him in Canada when he was already three.”

“And you were alone the whole time?” 

“The couple who took me in when I was in Canada helped me.” She shared, head bent down. “They were supposed to adopt Kenshin when I gave birth to him.” What? At this point, Yuta wanted to get mad. She’s just going to give her child to other people? Their child? “I don’t want to be a mom. I’m scared to be a mom. I don’t want to be like her.” Y/N’s knees gave out and she plopped to the ground. “But he smiled at me and when I hushed him, I was reminded of you.” Yuta glanced at her and that’s when he noticed the tears falling from her eyes. “I cannot give him up. Kenshin only has me.”

Yuta kneeled down so that they were at eye level with each other. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. 

“I tried looking for you. I even thought she did something bad to you.” Her voice was hushed in between choking sobs. “I’m so glad to see you again. Alive and well. Better than me, in fact.”

The guy sat cross-legged in front of her, wiping the tears on her cheek. “Then why didn’t you tell me anything?” 

“I don’t want you to think I’m after your money, Yuta.”

He smiled. Yuta held her hand, rubbing his thumb along the back of her palm. This is all just a misunderstanding. He could have saved some tears. She could be in his arms right now. “We should have talked like this before.” 

“You hated me.” 

“Because I thought you married Jaehyun,” She was about to revolt when he continued, “I only found out about it when we saw Taeyong.” Once again, he smiled. “I also found out that you have a son and I was mad that you got to move on with your life when I was in shambles because of you.” Yuta breathed hard, laughing to himself at how absurd everything was. God damn, all this time it’s just a miscommunication. “The only reason I opened this company was to show Jaehyun that I can be better than him. Then maybe, just maybe, I can take you back.”     

His hand brushed against hers, threading their fingers together. “What should we do now?” She asked innocently, looking at their hands. 

The guy had to pull her closer, his free hand holding her chin to make her look at him. “If you’ll let me, I want to make up for the lost time with Kenshin.” His voice had a soft, hushed tone. “I’m also scared to be a father but you have been an amazing mom so I don’t want to disappoint you. I’ll try my best to be worthy of Kenshin.” 

Y/N’s tears welled in her eyes. When she was just imagining the scenario of Yuta finding out about his son, this wasn’t what she had in mind. She thought he'd get mad. She hid these from him for years. But here he is, whispering apologies for coming too late. “So can you please introduce me to Kenshin as his dad and not your scary, mean boss?” The girl had to laugh, nodding. 

Yuta had to help her stand up, hands still interlocked with each other. “Y/N,” he called which made her look at his face. He smiled warmly, she’s really here with him. “Can I hug you?” The girl nodded before he removed his hold on her, wrapping her in his arms. She’s finally in his arms. “I missed you.” He then pulled her closer, not wanting to let her go. “God, I missed you so much.” 

The tears fell from Y/N’s eyes. Yuta’s warmth that she had been yearning all along. His sweet scent that she had missed all this time. “I miss you too, Yuta.”  

[kimi240302]

Our Forever

A/N: Also here is a warning , english is not my native language and I run this through an app

A/N2.0: Hey, actually I had another account, but the spinning. I can neither post nor comment and no one sees my stories. So I created the account and upload all my stories here

Summary: 11 moments when kisses formed an unforgettable love story

Alec Volturi x female!reader

words: 9691

Main Post / Twilight Masterlist

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" From this moment

to the last,

I am yours!"

- From Blood and Ash

person A comes closer to the lips of person B by mistake and it comes to the first kiss

Lost in thought, Y/N sat on the windowsill in the Volterra library. The book in her lap was long forgotten, as was Santiago, who stood in the corner of the room and was supposed to keep an eye on Y/N. His job was to make sure that nothing happened to Y/N. He was also the only one who could keep an eye on her. His job was to make sure that nothing happened to Y/N. Since she was the only person on Volterra with the secretary, the kings felt she needed someone to be by her side and protect her in case of emergency. Since Aro put a lot of trust in Santiago, this became his task.

Sighing, Y/N thought back to the events of the last weeks. Her life up to this point had been just like that of any other young girl, except that she knew of the existence of the supernatural. This fact had been a minor matter until the day Y/N followed Bella to Volterra.

Actually, Y/N wanted nothing more than to keep her older sister from doing anything stupid, but the moment she entered the throne room and looked into the eyes of Alec Volturi, one of the witch twins and at the same time one of the most dangerous vampires of his kind, her fate was sealed.

It turned out that Y/N was the mate of the vampire and nothing would make one of the Volturi ever let her go home again. Even though Y/N should be happy that she no longer felt the need to constantly keep her sister out of trouble, the loneliness was getting to her. Alec barely spoke to her , some days even pretended she didn't even exist. Demetri, with whom she had made friends, always tried to build Y/N up with the guarantee that it was not her fault, but the past the twins had lived through. Y/N was aware that the blond vampire wanted to cheer her up with these words, but at the end of the day his words did not give her comfort or help her feel less lonely.

"I was called to the throne room. Will you stay here or shall I accompany you to your room?" Santiago looked at Y/N questioningly. She shook her head. " I'll stay here and wait for you , don't worry!" Thankfully he nodded and disappeared. Again Y/N devoted herself to the sunset, leaning her forehead against the cool window pane. Where not three minutes later she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

" It would have been better , you would have taken her to her room." Demetri looked down at Y/N's sleeping body with a grin. Santiago nodded with a smile , bending over slightly to pick Y/N up so he could carry her to her room. He paused in his movement when he noticed a presence at the entrance of the library. Alec, who wanted to check on Y/N, stood there frozen for a few seconds, until he broke away and crossed the distance between him and the others. Promptly he looked at Santiago and Demetri. Surprised, they looked at each other, nodded and stepped aside.

The black-haired vampire copied Santiago's gesture and carefully picked up his mate , but stiffened briefly as Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck as if of her own accord and buried her head in his chest. Leaving the library and entering Y/N's room, he carefully lowered her into the blankets and pillows of her bed. As he did so, he leaned forward so far that his lips were just before hers. Startled by the sudden closeness, Alec froze, while Y/N, who must have noticed the coldness of his lips, opened her eyes wearily. When Alec and Y/N realized how close they were, for the first time since the young girl had arrived at the castle, the vampire and human's eyes widened. Both just looked at each other for another moment and without another second of hesitation, Alec closed the gap between him and his mate.

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Person A lets his thumb wander over person B's lips until person A can't stand it anymore and kisses person B.

"It's none of my business, but aren't you going to answer it?" Felix looked at Y/N in confusion and pointed to her vibrating cell phone. Both sat with Jane and Demetri in the living room provided for the main Volturi guards. Alec had been given an assignment to do alone, which was surprising because Jane and he usually did everything together. Annoyed, Y/N exhaled and reached for her cell phone. All three vampires raised one of their eyebrows questioningly. "Bella just wants to make sure I'm alive and explain to me again how evil you all are!" Without anyone else being able to respond, Y/N stood up, took the call and left the room.

"What can I do for you sister?" Y/N stood by the window in her room and looked out as she often does. Without waiting a second Bella started to talk to her sister. Since Y/N already knew what Bella would tell her , her attention settled on her lips. She absentmindedly touched them with her fingertips.

Not much had really changed since the kiss between her and Alec, except for the fact that Alec was now avoiding Y/N completely. The young girl slowly didn't understand the world anymore and began to doubt that anything would ever change between her and Alec or that it would come to a second kiss.

" Y/N are you even listening to me?" Bella's voice brought the younger of the two back to reality. " To be honest no." Bella groaned in annoyance. " I just want to know if you're okay and the promise to keep you as far away from every vampire in this castle as possible!" Y/N laughed bitterly. " Do you actually listen to yourself? I live with these vampires , I can't avoid any of them. Even if the castle is very big!" " But you have to try and especially don't let Alec get to you!" Annoyed Y/N closed her eyes and took a deep breath. " Let me explain this to you for a minute Bella. I'm Alec's mate and I'll be damned if I'm going to stay away from him. Besides, I don't understand what your problem is! You were the one who took me to Italy because you couldn't stay away from Edward!" " This is something completely different!" Shouted her sister into the receiver. " And in what way?" " Edward is a nice vampire , Alec and the rest of the Volturi drink human blood." " Just because Edward hunts Bambi doesn't make him a saint!" "Y/N I mean it!" The young woman snapped her eyes open. " And I'm not? I'm not going to stay away from Alec , because I've fallen in love with him in the weeks I've been here and no matter what you say about him or the others I don't care. I've made friends with most of them and the three kings won't even leave me alone without a guard.... Holy crap!" Y/N was just turning around to her bed when she cried out and dropped her cell phone in shock. Alec sat at the end of the bed and looked at her scrutinizingly.

" Y/N?" Bella's voice brought her out of her shock after a few seconds. She quickly bent down to pick up the cell phone. " I'll call you again later..." she hung up. Pressing the cell phone to her chest , as if it could protect her , she looked questioningly at Alec." How much did you get exactly?" Alec rose from his seat , his eyes still on Y/N , as he walked up to her and stopped in front of her , giving her the feeling the black haired vampire was looking directly into her soul . With her head tilted upwards, she looked at Alec insecurely. " Everything , I had to witness ."

Y/N held her breath as she noticed her cheeks beginning to glow. Lowering her head, she wished for nothing more than to sink into the ground. Surprised, she flinched as Alec gently stroked her cheek with his index finger. He enjoyed the goose bumps that formed on Y/N's body. Slowly and with his index finger now under her chin , he made Y/N look at him again and breathe again.

" Is there any particular reason why you are blushing so much?" Alec now placed both hands on the cheeks of Y/N's face and let the thumb of his right hand wander over her lips. His gaze continued to bore into Y/N's. She opened her mouth, but couldn't get a single word out. Alec grinned at her and came a little closer to her lips. Shortly before, however, he stopped. " Did you speak the truth when you told your sister that you fell in love with me?" Looking at him with wide eyes , Y/N swallowed the lump in her throat , nodded and , in a small moment of courage on her part , she overcame the last few inches between them . Grinning , Alec returned the kiss , enjoying it , as his mate wrapped her arms around his neck , while he placed his from her cheeks to her waist , pulling Y/N as close as he could . They both loosened for lack of air Y/N's side.

Forehead to forehead they stood in front of the window in Y/N room. The sun's rays that had sought their way into the room lay on Alec's skin and made him glisten. Smiling softly, Y/N looked dreamily into Alec's eyes. But a worry crept into the back of her mind and so Y/N asked him " You're not avoiding me now are you?" "No" Alec put his lips on hers again to confirm his words.

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Good day / goodbye kisses without the couple really notice them

"Alec told me you've been ignoring Bella's calls lately." Jane sat down on the couch with Y/N and her question caught the attention of Felix and Demetri, who had just come in. Y/N closed her book, looked up at Jane and nodded.

Jane knew that Alec and Y/N were now officially a couple, so she tried to build some kind of relationship with her brother's mate, which worked. Both spent time together whenever Alec and she had separate tasks to do and noticed during that time that both had found a friend in each other that both had always been looking for .

" She keeps trying to make me know that I will die here if I trust even one of you." Felix laughed out. " Yet you are safer here than anywhere else." Demetri nodded in agreement. " If we leave aside for a moment the fact that you have managed to wrap almost every Guard and the Kings themselves around your little finger , you are the mate of one of the twins . You must be tired of life if anyone dares to touch a hair on your head!" Jane looked at him annoyed and Demetri raised his hands defensively.

" Who has to be tired of life for what?" Alec entered the room and looked questioningly at Demetri. Before he could answer, Alec leaned down to Y/N and kissed her. " Hey" smiling, she returned the greeting and snuggled into his side as he sat down next to her. Demetri and Felix looked at each other in confusion. They were namely still on the stand that Alec and Y/N were avoiding each other. "Tired of life is the one who hurts Y/N, since she is the mate of you and so this one not only starts a fight with you but also with me!" Jane had to stifle a smile at the stupid faces of the other two. Alec nodded in understanding and looked at the book, opened again, in Y/N's hands.

Demetri started to ask what he had missed, but again he did not get a word in edgewise. Santiago came in and looked at Y/N and Alec. " Y/N Marcus wants to show you something. He asked me to accompany you to him ." Nodding , she rose , gave Alec her book and kissed him . " See you later." Already she had disappeared with Santiago.

" Did that really just happen?" Demetri looked after Y/N and then at Alec. Felix murmured at the same time, " Since when are you.... I mean what have you been?" Now both twins couldn't suppress their smiles. " Y/N and I are together and yes Demetri you saw right!" Felix turned to Jane. " You knew, didn't you?" Demetri snorted. " Of course she knew , she always knows everything that has to do with Alec and lately everything that has to do with Y/N too!"

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Stolen kisses in abandoned corridors

A knock made Y/N jump up in her bed. Confused, she looked around the room and realized that this was not her room. "Yes?" she called out. The door opened and Santiago looked at her with a smile.

Y/N had noticed that everyone in the castle smiled in her presence. Marcus had told her that it was because of her way of accepting everyone as they were and not letting any prejudices she had learned at the Cullens cloud her opinion.

"Alec said that you were here. He wanted to wake you himself, but Master Aro sent him and the rest on a mission." A warm feeling spread through Y/N's stomach, because now that Santiago mentioned Alec, she remembered that he had taken her to his room last night and asked if she wanted to move in. Y/N immediately agreed and spent the night in her new room with Alec by her side.

"Thank you Santiago. Are you with me again all day today then?" The addressed shook his head with a malicious grin. "When Heidi heard that you were alone today, she asked the masters if she could take you shopping. It's supposed to be cloudy in the city today." Y/N screwed up her face. "Shopping?" Nodding, Santiago laughed, knowing how much Y/N hated shopping.

" Y/N are you ready for our day?" Heidi forced herself past Santiago who had to pull himself together not to laugh out loud. Slowly the young girl got up from the bed and eyed Santiago angrily. Her angry look, however, quickly turned into a copy of the grin Santiago had shown her, which made him look confused." Can we take Santiago with us too? Then we'll have someone to carry our bags." Santiago looked at Y/N in shock and Heidi clapped her hands with joy. " That's a great idea! Get dressed and then we can go right away." Heidi turned to Santiago and put a hand on his shoulder. " I will inform the masters that you are coming with us. They will be thrilled for sure. Another one to keep an eye on Y/N!" With that she was gone just as quickly as she had come. "Should I be offended now that she spoke as if I were a small child or gloating now that I don't have to suffer alone?" Santiago looked at her offended. "Thank you, I got around shopping with Heidi for almost a hundred years and now.... you can be glad that I like you human!" The vampire left the room so that Y/N could get dressed.

" I haven't had this much fun in a long time!" The group of three just entered the castle of Volterra. Heidi was beaming all over her face , while Santiago looked like a porter and Y/N couldn't feel her feet. Y/N started to answer but caught sight of Demetri and ran to him. " When did you guys get back?" Demetri laughed. " I wish you a good evening too Y/N." A slight blush came over Y/N face and she mumbled a soft 'sorry' . Grinning , the blond vampire looked at the young girl that had become like a sister to him in the last months . " We've been back since noon today and we heard you were kidnapped by Santiago and Heidi to go shopping." Santiago looked at Demetri annoyed. " It was supposed to be just Heidi and Y/N , but the little devil spawn there in front of you had the great idea of appointing me pack mule!" " If you hadn't laughed at me , I would have spared you!" Y/N ignored Santiago's indignant look and turned back to Demetri, who was already imagining what it would be like to have Y/N running around here as a newborn. " He is in the throne room!" Demetri answered and watched with a smile as Y/N disappeared in the direction of the throne room. She could walk around alone by now, since no one would harm the girl anymore, she was liked too much.

Just as Y/N turned into the corridor to the hall, she was grabbed by the upper arm, pulled into a side corridor and pushed against the wall. She wanted to scream out, but a cool hand put itself over her mouth to prevent her from doing so. A very familiar grin and familiar pair of red eyes looked mischievously at her and the grip around her loosened. " Are you crazy? I'm still human , means I can still have a heart attack too!" Y/N placed one of her hands dramatically on her chest " It wasn't that bad now!" Alec laughed , put his forehead to hers , closed his eyes and placed his right hand over the one on her heart . He loved to hear her heart beat or feel it under his palm. He loved knowing that no matter when he touched her or she just looked at him or he stood inches from her , her heart always seemed to beat faster . " I missed you." He murmured with his eyes still closed , while listening to the sound of Y/N heartbeat with a satisfied smile . " I missed you too" Alec opened his eyes again to look Y/N in her beautiful ones. Carefully , as if his mate would break if he acted too quickly , he placed his lips on hers . Both lost themselves in each other and didn't seem to want to get out of their little world anytime soon.

Further down the hall Santiago carried Y/N's purchases to her room and heard, through his vampire hearing, that the two lovers had found each other. Only half-heartedly annoyed, he turned to Demetri." Please don't tell me they're making out like teenagers in an alcove of the castle while I get to bring Y/N's groceries to her room?" The addressed put a hand on his buddy's shoulder. " I so don't feel sorry for you at all!"

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A breathed "kiss me" to interrupt the other

"I just want to know why you always have to annoy me!" Demetri looked at the red-faced Y/N innocently. "We don't know what you mean at all Y/N." Felix, standing next to the girl with a grin , ran a hand through Y/N's hair. " You know exactly what I mean!" The girl grumbled and tried to fix her hair. " We just think it's mega cute how you always blush when it comes to Alec." Santiago laughed. "It's called being in love, you old farts!"

The laughter of the three vampires ended and an indignant expression formed on their faces. " What did you call us?" Felix stepped towards them. " I said old men. Sacks." Now it was Y/N who had to laugh out loud. " Well wait!" The young girl was wide-eyed, turned around and fled in the direction where she knew Alec and Jane would be standing.

But before she even got close to them , she was over Demetri's shoulder. "Well, not so bad for an old fart!" " Vampire speed , does not make your age go away!" Felix and Santiago , who were now walking behind the two , had to stop laughing .

" Where are you carrying me anyway?!" Without answering Demetri put her back on her own legs after a short time. She slammed against a chest. Alec looked confused as he put his hands on his girlfriend's hips and pulled her towards him so she wouldn't land on her butt. The young girl held onto Alec's top in surprise, blushed again and looked at Jane. She looked at Y/N questioningly.

" See, we were right!" Santiago appeared in front of them with Felix , apparently they had calmed down. Felix laughed again and Demetri looked at Y/N with a self-satisfied grin.

" What was who right about here!" Alec looked questioningly around. Before Y/N could answer and defend himself at the same time , Felix interfered. Since he , Santiago and Demetri had made it their business to annoy the young girl with their blushes and at the same time try to make Alec jealous , he wanted to leave the black haired vampire in the dark. " That you are the only one who can make your poison dwarf of a girlfriend mouth dead!" " Poison dwarf?!" Outraged, Y/N broke away from her friend. " Poison dwarf" Demetri confirmed. "You're lucky Y/N isn't a vampire yet!" Laughed Santiago and Jane steered, " Otherwise you'd be the one running away now!" , to that. Demetri tousled Y/N's hair. " I think so too." Annoyed, she slapped Demetri's hand away. " You three are like the big brothers I never wanted to have!" Once again Demetri tousled her hair and disappeared laughing loudly in the direction of the throne room. Felix ran after him, pausing briefly to pat Y/N's cheek and say, " You'd miss us if we weren't here anymore!" Y/N just grumbled and avoided Santiago who also wanted to brush her hair as he followed the others.

Y/N turned to the two siblings and paused when she saw Alec's annoyed expression. Without another word, he turned and disappeared. Confused, Y/N looked at Jane. " What's wrong with him? Did I do something wrong?" Jane shook her head. " You didn't do anything wrong. My brother just doesn't like how close the three of them are to you." " But the three of them are just like annoying older brothers to me." Jane nodded. " I know , Alec just isn't used to feeling for someone what he feels for you...." " He's jealous?" Again Jane nodded and watched with a smirk as Y/N immediately set out to follow Alec.

Alec had retreated to the room they shared. Y/N entered shortly after him. Indecisively she stopped in the middle of the room and looked at her boyfriend , who had sat down in his favorite armchair. Alec looked at her expressionlessly , but turned his head back to the fireplace , which crackled away next to his armchair . Sighing , Y/N sat down on her bad-tempered vampire's lap without thinking twice .

" What is it exactly that bothers you? Talk to me and I'll change it." " Are you going to leave me for one of them?" Alec still didn't look at Y/N and therefore didn't see the horrified look on her face. " Alec please look at me." But when he still wouldn't look at her, the younger girl gently placed both hands on his cheeks, pushing his head back in her direction. Which forced Alec to look at his girlfriend. " We are mates , destined to find each other and stay together." Alec let out an unnecessary puff of air from his lungs to show he still wasn't completely convinced. " What if...." Y/N shook her head , came a little closer to his face and breathed just before his lips, " Just kiss me!"

Forgotten was the jealousy and uneasy feeling in Alec. In its place was a gentle smile, which only his mate and sister got to see and the knowledge that Y/N belonged only to him.

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Person A pouts, person B kisses her

In the meantime two years had passed and thus the everyday life on Volterra had settled in for Y/N. She was not only seen as a family member in the ranks of the Guards and also respected, she had also found a firm place in the cool hearts of the Volturi kings.

So it was no wonder that whenever Alec was on duty she was in the throne room with him. But the young girl did not stand next to him, as in the beginning, but sat mostly leaning against Marcus' throne. She read in one of the many books that Marcus had ordered for her every month. No one had ever thought it possible, but Y/N had become like a daughter to Marcus. While she too had to admit that the quiet king was closer to a father than her biological Charlie Swan ever was to her.

When Y/N was not in the mood to read but to draw, she sat next to Caius. He would give her tips or they would draw together. Aro always entertained her when she didn't feel like doing anything. He told her about times long past and found it exciting to watch her reactions to various events.

On this particular day, she was sitting leaning against Marcus' throne and seemed to be completely engulfed by the book in her lap when the opening door caught the attention of everyone in the room and so did Y/N. The secretary was standing there with a tablet in her hand. The secretary stood there with a tray in her hand on which lay a letter. Since Y/N did not expect it to be for her, she returned to her book.

Aro stood up with a small cry of joy and stretched out his hand to receive the letter. However, the young woman hesitated and looked at Y/N. "Forgive me Master Aro, but the letter is addressed to Miss Swan." Confused, she looked up from her book again, closed it, remembered which page it was on, put it on the floor next to Marcus' throne and stood up.

Amused, Y/N wrinkled her nose. " What is it my dear?" Y/N turned to Aro and handed him the letter. " Bella is marrying probably the most annoying vampire in the history of the world!" Caius laughed up , another thing he admired about the young girl , they shared the same thoughts when it came to the Cullens .

She sat back down and picked up her book. " Don't you want to go?" Marcus looked down at Y/N. " Why? I made it clear what I thought of her opinion and we haven't talked on the phone since. I'm surprised she still remembers me...." Marcus raised an eyebrow. Sighing, she closed her book again and looked at him. " Besides , it doesn't say anything about an escort . Which means as much as I'm supposed to come alone!" Alec , standing next to Caius , tensed. For nothing in the world would he let his mate go anywhere alone , certainly not near the Cullens . " That's a good point..." Marcus looked more closely at the invitation , which Aro had given him . " Still , it's your sister's wedding ! You should go." Y/N pursed her mouth . " You will see your family there again." " We all here know that neither Cullens nor Swans are longer part of my family." " That's a good point again" Caius looked at his brother. Aro , who had been quiet , now turned to Y/N . " You will go to see what the Cullens are doing for the Volturi . For a human , you have a very good grasp . Take Santiago with you." Alec took a step forward. " Master..." Aro raised a finger. " You and the others have a mission."

"Stop pouting Alec!" Smirking, Y/N looked at her vampire boyfriend from her suitcase. The latter ignored her statement and just crossed his arms in front of his chest, while he continued to watch Y/N packing odds and ends from his seated position on the bed. At the lack of response, the young girl rolled her eyes " Aren't you a little old to be pouting dearest?!" Y/N walked past Alec as she spoke her words to get to her bedside cabinet. Alec , who still hadn't said a word , took advantage of his girlfriend's proximity to grab her by her hips . He turned her around and pulled her between his legs. She looked down at him questioningly as he wrapped his arms around her middle and buried his face in her sweater.

Sighing, Y/N ran her fingers through Alec's hair, "I'd rather stay here than fly to my sister, but you heard Aro and I won't be unguarded. Santiago will make sure nothing happens to me!" Alec turned his face so that he was looking up at Y/N now. "You know the Cullens! What if they suddenly make you think we're the bad guys? Y/N I don't want to lose you...." Shaking her head, she leaned down and rested her forehead against his. "You are my home, you are my love and my soul Alec. Nothing you say could ever change that." She watched as he closed his eyes at her words and savored them. So she took another breath and for the first time spoke the three words that neither of them had dared to say out loud until now. " Alec Volturi I love you..." She wanted to say something more, to assure him how serious this confession was to her, but Alec immediately opened his eyes and stood up. Y/N staggered back a few steps , but before she really threatened to fall , two hands placed themselves at her waist and pulled her close to his chest. " I love you too!" And thus both of them put their lips on each other.

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Person A stops the kiss to ask person B if it is really okay to continue, person B just kisses him.

"You look like you just came from a funeral, not a wedding." Demetri looked at Y/N with amusement. She ignored the blond vampire completely and let Santiago lead her into the throne room. Confused, Demetri looked at Santiago , but he just shook his head.

" Y/N you're back!" Aro seemed to be genuinely pleased , however his smile disappeared at the sight that presented itself to him and every other vampire. Under Y/N eyes, gray/black rims had formed. The smile that the young girl had always had on her face had disappeared and been replaced by a sadness that no one wanted to see or had ever seen on her. Santiago stepped forward and, without a word, offered his hand to Aro. Lost in thought, Aro nodded. "What is it brother?" Caius looked back and forth between Aro , Santiago and Y/N , confused . " As I have seen , the Cullens have made it clear to our Y/N that she no longer belongs there." Aro turned to Felix and ordered him to send for Alec.

Marcus, who had a guilty conscience because he had been one of the main reasons why Y/N had to return, stood up and took her in his arms. Y/N still didn't speak a word, but put her arms around the vampire's body and clawed at his robe.

" They hate me , all of them..." muttered Y/N , without releasing herself . Marcus strengthened his grip a little , considering his strength so as not to hurt Y/N .

Y/N broke away from Marcus only when the door of the hall opened again. When she turned around and saw Alec standing there, she ran towards him. When she reached him, she literally threw herself into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in the crook of his neck, where she began to cry bitterly. Startled, Alec put his arms around her and brought her body, carefully, even closer to his.

Every vampire's heart broke at the sight, but they also saw the anger in Alec's face and wondered what would happen if he ever met the Cullens in person again. To everyone's surprise, Alec spoke in a calm voice to Aro as he asked if he and his mate could leave. Which he allowed.

"What happened exactly?" Alec sat down on the edge of the bed while Y/N walked up and down the room. She didn't want to sit down , even though Alec had told her several times. " They treated me like an outcast. I stood in a corner the entire time and would be shunned or literally pierced with hateful stares." Again, tears came to Y/N's eyes. " Alec even my father and mother ignored me and only saw their , great Bella and they don't even know about you and all this." Y/N stopped in front of Alec's desk , leaned against it and buried her face in her hands . Alec stood up , stood in front of Y/N , put his hands on her wrists and pulled them away from her face. " Y/N..." " Alec I have filled like a parasite among my actual family!"

Alec contorted his face, almost as if he were in pain. Which was also true somewhere. He didn't like to see his mate so broken, and certainly not because of the Cullen clan. The black haired vampire looked his girlfriend right in the eyes. " You are not a parasite. Not here , not for a single Volturi and certainly not for me!" " Alec..." He didn't let Y/N say the sentence , as he wanted to show her how important she was to him , just as she had done the last years . His hands let go of her wrists , grasping her face and gently pulling it forward so he could place his lips on hers .

A startled and choking sound came from Y/N. Alec had never kissed her with such force and at the same time with so much feeling as at that moment. Without thinking twice, she wrapped her hands around his neck. He let his fall from her cheeks to her hips. When they broke away , as Y/N still needed air , they looked deep into each other's eyes again . This time Alec wanted to say something, but Y/N pulled him down to him. The kiss between the two became more and more passionate. Alec's hands moved from Y/N's hips to her thighs. He lifted her up, cleared everything from his desk beforehand with a wave of his hand and set her down on it. Breathing heavily , the young girl detached herself from him . Alec , who was now standing between her open legs , put his forehead right over her fast beating heart. He grinned slightly as he realized that it was he who was making her heart beat so fast and was also the reason for her skin getting warmer and warmer. Without lifting his head, he whispered, "Tell me when to stop! Because if we continue , I can not stop!" " Then don't stop..." Y/N's voice trembled. Alec looked up to see if she really meant it . " Are you sure?" Her answer was another passionate kiss. Her fingers found their way to the buttons of his shirt , which she undid one by one . When she had undone the last button , she ran her fingertips over his now exposed skin . Which elicited a moan from Alec and Y/N was now the one grinning at his lips. Alec released his lips from Y/N and moved on to her neck , where he sucked hard in a few places. Now his mate began to make sounds as well. When his shirt had found its way to the floor, Alec put his hands on the hem of Y/N's sweater. Detaching himself from her, he pulled it over her head. Immediately put his lips back on hers. His hands placed themselves as if by themselves on her back, where his right hand slowly began to stroke along her spine. Immediately goosebumps spread on Y/N's skin and her moans grew louder , her hands clawed him Alec's hair and her body bent even closer to his. " Alec..." She gasped his name , as he unclasped her bra and his left hand gripped one of her breasts . At his name , he looked at her again . His eyes were dark , almost black . But instead of being afraid of him , she only wanted him more . Alec , who must have understood her look , released her breast , which elicited a whimper from Y/N , embraced her thighs again and lifted her off the desk.

As Y/N lay on the bed, Alec bent over her. He placed a quick kiss on Y/N's lips, but moved on to place a second one on her pulse point on her neck. His hands, meanwhile, worked their way to the button of her pants. When his lips arrived at his mate's breasts and spoiled them , Y/N began to tremble under him. He opened her pants and took them off as far as he could. The rest of the way Y/N took over with her feet alone. In the same way he opened his pants and let them disappear. Only separated from her lower underwear , Y/N pulled him up to her. Both lost themselves in a kiss again. Y/N's left hand clawed into Alec's black hair , while her right rested against his shoulder. Their legs spread a little more as Alec made a pass at his underpants and hers.

Alec took Y/N's right hand , joined it with his and pressed it lightly into the mattress beneath them . His left he took for support to gently penetrate Y/N. The young girl bit her lower lip , while at the same time stretching her back to meet Alec.

( Here I make a cut ,because I'm not so good with the rest part )

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Kisses over the entire face

"Are you sure you don't want me to get Alec?" Demetri looked at Y/N with concern. The latter trotted from the bathroom , where she had thrown up again , back to the bed . " I am sure Demetri. People do get sick."

Before the blond-haired vampire could reply, Y/N's cell phone rang. Annoyed , she groaned. Someone had been trying to reach her all morning, only she wasn't exactly eager to find out who that someone was. "If you really want to help me, please give me my cell phone. Before I go crazy!" Demetri laughed and handed Y/N the requested item.

" What in God's name does Bella want from me!" Y/N grumbled to herself as she called her back.

" Y/N?" " What do you want?" Bella sighed at her sister's hostile tone. But she couldn't blame her anymore, not after she had allowed Y/N to be treated like dirt at her wedding. "I need my sister." She murmured softly. Y/N laughed out. " There are two of them where you are. Blondie and the crazy one. Ask them if you need help!" Y/N was about to hang up when she paused at her sister's next words. " I'm pregnant, by Edward."

Silently Y/N looked at her cell phone screen and wrestled for a few seconds to regain her composure as she replied, " Edward is a vampire Bella. You can't have something like that." " But it did happen. "Demetri , who had not listened out of respect for Y/N , saw how she became even paler and worriedly got up from the armchair where he had sat down.

" Y/N? Are you still there?" " How?" " I don't know how it's possible..." Y/N interrupted Bella. " That's not what I meant. How did you find out?" Bella said nothing for a short while and then spoke in an unsteady voice. " My period stopped and I started throwing up.... Why is this so important?" The young girl swallowed hard and felt like she was about to pass out. Demetri put a hand on her shoulder. " Y/N why did you want to know?" But Bella fell on deaf ears. Y/N ended the call and turned off her cell phone.

" Y/N?" Demetri asked her cautiously and backed away several steps in surprise , when the addressed simply jumped up. Y/N literally fled to the bathroom and opened the closet. Her eyes fell on the newly bought tampon package , which was still unopened . " Demetri , how long ago was my sister's wedding now?" " Five weeks . You're starting to worry me even more than I already do at this point. Can you please tell me what's going on?!" With shaky breath , she closed the closet and turned to Demetri. " I need to talk to Aro. Do you know where he is?" Nodding , he motioned Y/N to follow him.

"Demetri said it was important?" Aro , Marcus and Caius sat at a table , on which lay several different old books. " Bella called me and told me something interesting." Now Marcus and Caius also looked at her with interest. " And that would be?" Caius raised an eyebrow , but Aro noticed that Y/N did not find the next words easy and accepted her hand instead.

Alec , standing next to his sister in one of the corners , watched the whole spectacle closely . His sister copied his tense posture. Jane also stood with him immediately next to Y/N , when she almost fell down from fright. Aro shouted so loudly with joy or anger that even the last vampire on Volterra must have heard him.

" Since you came in through the door of the throne room with your sister , you have always managed to impress me and no human can claim that until now!" Aro turned to his brothers. " Bella Cullen still seems to be human and what is very curious , she seems to be pregnant by her husband!" Caius dropped the book he had just been reading. Markus choked on his blood tea.

" A pregnancy between a human and a vampire is not possible. The Cullens just want to lead us around by the nose again and an excuse for Bella's human existence!" Caius seemed to want to add something else , but Aro interrupted him. Meanwhile, Demetri seemed to have the same thought as Y/N had after the phone call. Because he looked startled in their direction. "I would not say that so fast brother. Because as it seems..." , Aro turned back to Y/N and put a hand on her cheek, " Showing the same symptoms of Bella's pregnancy , also in Y/N." Now the other two kings jumped up and came towards Y/N . Alec , who was standing behind her looked down at her in surprise , while Y/N didn't dare look up from the floor. " Are you sure?" Marcus looked at her slightly excited. The young girl just nodded. " If this is really true , then it is a miracle!" Even Caius had to nod . "Alec , Jane , Demetri and Felix you will travel with Y/N to the Cullens. We want to make sure Bella wasn't lying and have Carlisle take a closer look at Y/N."

" Are you going to say something too, or are you just going to keep me silent?" Y/N's voice was quiet as she went back into the room next to Alec to change and leave immediately. The addressed stopped , turned to his girlfriend , who had also stopped and hugged her. Relieved, Y/N wrapped her arms around Alec's waist and buried her face against his chest, "If you think I'm mad, you should know that I'm not. If you really are pregnant, this is a gift and not just for the two of us." Y/N and Alec disengaged from each other a little. Alec took her face between his hands, which had become a habit of his, and kissed her. However, he also placed a kiss on her cheek , on her forehead and still everywhere he came close in her face. This made Y/N laugh.

What they both didn't know was that Jane , Felix and Demetri were standing not far away from them watching the scene in front of them. " Did you ever think you would see your brother like this?" " What exactly do you mean? Happy or maybe about to become a father?" " Both." " No, not after everything we've been through. But I'm glad she's giving him all these opportunities now." Jane turned in the direction of the exit. Felix leaned toward Demetri. "I don't know if it scares me to know this side of the twins or if I should be happy?" Demetri just shrugged his shoulders and followed Jane.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Person A gives person B a kiss on the hand to reassure them.

" Will you ever take your hand off her belly again?" Jane looked amused at her brother, while he just wrinkled his nose. Y/N had fallen asleep on the plane from Italy to America, and Alec had been stroking her belly while lost in thought. " Probably not. I'm not happy about having to go to the Cullens with her. Not after what Santiago told me and certainly not if it's true and she's pregnant!" Demetri gave a mutter in agreement , as did Felix. "Neither of us will let her feel for a second the way she told you." He nodded. " Still, I'm not taking that hand away!" That made everyone laugh quietly.

When they arrived at the Cullens', Y/N's worries were confirmed. No one was happy about her visit and without really listening to her, the Cullens started talking at her. "I told you not to call them!" Edward scowled at Y/N. " She is a dirty traitor and ..." " Try to finish that sentence and it will be your last!" Jane looked at Emmett for a brief moment and already he was writhing on the floor in pain. Y/N winced in fright at that. Which made Alec put his hand protectively on her stomach and press his mate even closer to his body. Bella who saw this gasped and got all the attention.

The Volturi had to admit that Y/N's sister didn't look too good and even though they would never say it out loud they were afraid for Y/N if she really was pregnant.

Jacob and Edward immediately stood by Bella's side, but she waved them away and held out her hand to Y/N. Alec, however, held his mate back. Alec, however, kept his mate at his side. Smiling , she looked at him , raised her joined hands to her mouth and placed a kiss on the back of his hand . Grumbling , he let go of her and the Cullens didn't dare say anything for a second , because they had never seen anything like this when it came to one of the Volturi .

Y/N took her sister's hand and carefully sat down next to her, "I'm sorry. , Bella's voice sounded sad. " I know and I forgive you." Y/N placed her hand on her sister's sunken cheek. Bella leaned into Y/N's warmth with a smile and closed her eyes. " She is not here because she betrayed us . She's here for Carlisle to see if she's pregnant too."

"With Bella, you can't see the fetus, but you can hear the heartbeat." Carlisle smiled at Y/N as he helped her sit up properly. Alec stood next to her and grabbed her hand again. When he noticed how much Y/N was trembling , he copied her gesture from earlier and placed a long lasting kiss on the back of her right hand. Rosalie, who was watching the whole thing closely, took a few steps back when she wanted to say something but Demetri just stood in front of her. "Nobody cares about your opinion, so keep it to yourself!" Grumbled Felix next to Demetri.

Carlisle moved the ultrasound machine back and forth until he could hear something. "Just like Bella, you can't see anything, but you can hear something. You are too pregnant with perfect certainty Y/N." Y/N didn't really react when she saw the black image of the ultrasound. Alec who was about to assure her that everything would be fine stopped as his mate took his hand and placed it on her belly. "What are you going to do?" But Esme's loud gasp made the whole room look at the machine again. Something was now showing on the ultrasound and tears came to Y/N's eyes. " They just had to be comfortable!" Carlisle words jolted Y/N awake again. " They?" " Yes they..." , He turned the device a bit and a second fetus appeared, " You're having twins."

" Well hopefully they will come after Y/N!" Jane turned to Felix and he was already on the floor. " Why do you always have to provoke her?" muttered Demetri , but silently agreed with him. Volterra did not need another Jane.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Person A kisses person B tears from face

"How is my favorite pregnant woman?" Heidi laughed as she entered the room. "I'm the only pregnant woman you know!" Y/N tried to straighten up, but let it go. "And I think it will stay that way." Jane grumbled as she entered the room behind Heidi. " I still find it fascinating that you are not as emaciated as your sister was." Heidi helped Y/N stand up . Jane on her other side looked at Heidi. " Maybe her kids just like her more?" " Jane!" Y/N laughed. She immediately regretted it when she felt a sharp pain go straight through her stomach.

" What's wrong?" Y/N shook her head. " It hurts!" Again she put her hand on her belly. Heidi and Jane looked at each other. " Isn't it too soon?" Jane ordered Y/N to sit back down, just as she told Heidi to get Carlisle, who had arrived on Volterra today. " Jane , I'm scared." She grabbed the blond vampire's hand . " Me too , but we can do this . Together , as a family !" To underline her words , she squeezed Y/N hand once harder.

"We have to put her down!" Carlisle shouted the moment he entered the room. Alec, who had rushed to Y/N's side as soon as he heard the babies were coming, helped his sister do just that. "If you don't want to see this, go ahead Alec." The latter shook his head and grabbed Y/N's hand. " I promised you. I'll stay until the end." The young girl squeezed his hand a little tighter.

" Everyone out of here who doesn't need to be present!" Demetri and Felix stood in front of the door so that none of the newer guards would get the wrong idea when they smelled Y/N's blood. The kings were not far away either. Marcus seemed to be the most restless. He paced back and forth while the other two tried to calm him down. "We are not far away Marcus, if something happens you can bite them fast enough." He nodded , but was not reassured by Caius' words . " Besides , you heard Carlisle . Y/N shows no resemblance to Bella at all. Maybe it won't even come to an emergency!"

" Y/N you have to push!" "It hurts..." " I know! You just need to push a little more!" After good words from Alec and Jane, who also didn't want to leave Y/N's side and another painful ten minutes , the first twin was there. Jane immediately stood to receive the baby. She leaned down to Y/N and whispered. " It's a boy!" Y/N looked into her son's eyes , they were bright blue , and began to cry as she grasped his little hand .

Carlisle and a renewed wave of pain brought her back. She squeezed Alec's hand stronger and shook her head. " I can't do this again!" Alec leaned toward her and kissed away the tears on her cheeks. His mouth moved to Y/N's ear " You can do it , you did it with our son too!" She turned her head in his direction and they both rested their foreheads against each other. Y/N began to push again , which seemed easier to her this time. A few minutes later, another scream rang out. Alec stood up to receive the second twin.

Surprised, Y/N looked up when she heard Alec laugh for the first time. "It's a girl." He leaned down to his mate and Y/N took her daughter's little hand, as she had with her son.

Alec and Jane looked at each other happily. For they could not quite believe that they had gotten the family they had always wanted , with Y/N and the twins .

" Do you have any idea what we are going to name them yet ?" Alec looked at Y/N again with a smile. " I had an.... I had an...." " Y/N?" Carlisle nudged Alec slightly to the side. " We need Marcus and we need him now!" " What happened!!!" " She lost too much blood giving birth."

Carlisle took Y/N's hand with his left , while the right turned her head in his direction. " You have to stay awake a little longer Y/N... please! Don't do this to us!" Even though Carlisle had never been a friend of Y/N being Alec Volturi's mate and had also joined in when she was ignored , he had never wished her dead . Now that she was a mother, he wanted it even less.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A kiss associated with a heartfelt embrace

"In all these years, I have never seen Volterra so quiet." Santiago stood at the door to the room where Y/N was undergoing her transformation. Since the young mother had lost consciousness before Marcus could bite her, it was impossible to tell now if she had survived or if the poison had come too late.

" Everyone is worried about Y/N." Demetri had slid down the wall and was sitting like a little heap on the floor. " How is Alec? I haven't been able to check on him yet." " He's trying his best. Jane and Heidi are helping him with the kids , but he misses them! So do we all...." " I hope she wakes up soon....."

Santiago and Demetri looked at each other , then back at the door. " Did you hear that?" Demetri nodded, stood up and literally yanked the door open. When he looked at the bed it was empty. Immediately he imagined all the worst scenarios that could exist in this world , until a voice interrupted this . "I'm standing here!" Immediately the blond vampire turned around. " Jesus you're going to give me the first vampire heart attack in the history of our kind of woman one of these days!" Laughing, Y/N turned away from the mirror and walked towards him. " It is very unlikely that it will happen!" " You make it happen!" "Since I will now live as long as you, it could happen by all means." Santiago laughed and so did Demetri. "Come here little devil spawn!" Demetri held out his arms and Y/N accepted the embrace. So did Santiago's. " Let's get you some blood and then you can see your kids and Alec." " How is he?" " According to the circumstances."

" Alec." Felix stood in the doorway of the nursery and watched as the black-haired vampire laid his son down to sleep. the addressed turned and saw the happy expression on his friend's face. " She's awake." His gaze wandered to his sister who nodded at him , indicating that she would watch the children . "Where?" "She's in the throne room."

The opening of the door silenced the conversation between Aro and Y/N. Smiling , she turned to him . For both of them and everyone else present in the room, it seemed as if the world stopped. Alec's eyes wandered over his mate. She was wearing a black dress with matching black shoes. Around her neck hung the Volturi necklace. Her skin was pale and her hair seemed to shine. But what Alec found most intriguing were Y/N's eyes. Their red seemed to literally captivate him.

When the vampire was really sure that he was not dreaming and in front of him was really his mate, he was already standing in front of her. His hands wrapped around her upper body and he pressed her against him. Y/N arms wrapped around his neck as their lips found each other. " I thought I had lost you." Whispered Alec with his eyes closed , as they broke away from each other . Both were still standing in the throne room with their foreheads against each other . " Never!" " Promise?" " Promise"

[hpowellsmith]

Hello there! I've been wanting to replay the older Baldur's Gate games, and was searching around for mlm NPC romance mods. I saw yours mentioned and found your site with some googling, but it seems the place they were hosted at is gone now (Spellhold Studios). I was wondering if you still have the mods available somewhere? Either way, I hope you have a great day!

OK, this has made go down a modding-community rabbit hole! I hadn't done anything with our Baldur's Gate 2 mods, or looked at them really, since 2015 and I really appreciate it because they're something that brought my wife and I a ton of joy, and they were the first interactive narratives I made.

Links, descriptions, and comments below because it is Long:

I got in touch with folks on the Gibberlings3 forum which is, wonderfully, still going strong, and have given permission for Faren and Nathaniel to be uploaded to the Spellhold Studios GitHub (which has a bunch of other mods too - do check out Adrian, Isra, and Ninde in particular!) to the team maintaining it. That may be a little while as some of the team are ill right now, but once I hear that it's done, I'll post about it here; I've also been pointed to some links where the mods were mirrored. Note that I haven't tested these myself on a current BG2 install, but it is easy to uninstall WeiDU mods if there's a problem.

Faren is a bisexual True Neutral fighter/thief (I can't remember if he's dual-classed or multi-classed) who's easygoing, down-to-earth, and up for partying, with a bit of a checkered past - his adventuring party died in one of the dungeons you can visit in BG2, and since then he's been picking up dodgy jobs, feeling a bit adrift, and trying to get his life back on track. That's where the PC comes in! You can befriend him or romance him (starting with either a casual or more committed tone, then committing further if you want to), and he has a personal quest in which a shady figure from his past wants him to do one last job. He was our third mod, and we'd developed our skills with writing and scope a lot by then. When I play BG2, I play with Faren! You can currently download Faren here. It's the version updated in 2015 with more banters with modded NPCs and the Enhanced Edition characters; there may be compatibility issues installing it with other newer mods but do give it a try.

I found The Luxley Family, which was our second mod, on the GitHub here. From a cursory (rusty) glance it looks like it should be compatible with Enhanced Edition, but the storyline is only for Shadows of Amn and doesn't continue into Throne of Bhaal. Sebastian and Andrei (Chaotic Neutral bard with a custom kit and Lawful Neutral monk respectively) are members of a mysterious, reclusive family who are under a curse. Sebastian's a worldly playwright who's showing his polite but moody teenage cousin Andrei the sights when they bump into the PC. They aren't romanceable, but you can have a fling with Sebastian, who's bisexual, if you let/help him mess up his life sufficiently.

Nathaniel is a Lawful Good gay fighter with a lot of feelings. He was our first mod and I am really proud of the impact he had on a lot of people and even other games back in the day, but if you play, go in expecting a LOT of feelings good and bad, relationship drama, and angst! (There's something very sad about the fact that as teens we could not imagine a D&D setting without homophobia back then; the idea of a knightly order thinking well of gay people just didn't cross our minds. it's extraordinary how much better a lot of things are now, including the queerness in D&D streams, books, and of course Baldur's Gate 3. Interestingly, we didn't include homophobia in the Luxley Family or Faren and I don't remember how conscious that was; maybe we'd become more hopeful by then.) You can download an outdated version of Nathaniel here but I don't think it will be compatible with Enhanced Edition.

Thank you so much for messaging! I didn't realise they weren't able to be downloaded anymore and I am really keen for digital art to be preserved (as well as players getting to smooch hot guys, of course).

(Digression - my wife and I have a couple of almost-finished mods on our computer: a lesbian cleric of Talos which she wrote, and a bi Valygar romance that I wrote. And, if it's among two computers' ago worth of external hard drive storage, the ending for the Luxley Family story. Who knows, maybe one day...)

[serabiet]

It’s been another 84 years good grief, so might as well go over the basics when it comes to my uploads! Everything’s been compressorized, textures reimported in to reduce pixelation, morphs included, and other ages are repositoried to adults to save space and headache (mine). Let me know if something’s wrong so I can get defensive about it and then maybe fix it.

I’ll probably sooner or later revisit the mesh conversions I’ve made if I spot lumps or bad bones or any other eyesores and update the files as I do.

 Ok ready!

umfb ichabodcoat 12/20:

It’s just a classic full body outfit from a few years back I made for Ichabod because I couldn’t be bothered to make the coat into a separate top at the time. I’m pretty sure I never posted it before though!

The coat’s something from the game I always wanted to use and edit, so now it’s been used and edited a little and there’s a new collar texture on it.

Just the two color options because that’s all I needed.

Polycount: 2270/1714

Available for adults and enabled for elders, has only fat morph because it was mainly intended for elders.

Credits: Pyxis for inspo, Fanseelamb for lots of the parts

Download umfb ichabodcoat (SFS)

uft 4t2 nolansims mocked mulberry 05/22:

Conversion of this sweater by Nolan-sims, but none of the original color options feature. Another version by MegaMassikaLove already exists, too, which has the original recolors! These do not conflict.

Here’s a Bodyshop swatch of the colors on teens. They’re named pretentiously (but in a cool way) so just go through the adult files to check what you want and what you don’t. Teens and elders are repositoried to those, as mentioned above.

Polycount: 2470/1753

Available as everyday/outerwear, ages teen to elder

Credits: Nolan-Sims

Download uft mockedmulberry4t2 (SFS)

uft mmnt 4t2 oversized cardigan recolors:

Back when I first discovered you could and should utilize the normal maps from Sims 4 in recolors to liven them up I experimented how to best do it. I don’t know if these first recolors were it, but they have existed since so might as well share!

The color range is four earthy and slightly depressing variations, categorized as everyday

Adults only, mesh included was edited by MegaMassika to float a bit further away from the butt and a preg morph was added as well.

Polycount: 3298/2961

Credits: Mmnt, MegaMassika

Download uft 4t2 oversizedcardigan (SFS)

uft amaryll harajuku cardigan recolors:

Awhile back I did some stuff for Bobsterosa, and these cardigan recolors came about on the side. Amaryll’s good old cardigan recolored for teens and adults, categorized as everyday

Four recolors, as seen here on teens.

Renamed meshes are included, so watch out for doubles in your downloads!

Polycount: 2236/1666

Credits: Amaryll

Download uft harajukucardigan (SFS)

ufb slacks + moccasins 04/22:

So these boots were originally a TS3 Store item for kids, called Pantucket Pat Moccasins. Then Rukisims converted them for adults and I guess got rid of the bow on the texture? And then maybe chocolatesims converted them for the SIms 2. And some time ago I finally made some edits to the mesh, and combined them with the slacks I made uhh four years ago?

Four recolors as seen on elders in bodyshop, ages teen to elder, categorized as everyday/outerwear

Polycount: 1715/1612

Oh man yeah I promised a useful recolor psd to go along with these! Here, catch! Genuine Yeti Fur from Yeti Salon floors!

Credits: Rukisims, chocolatesims

Download ufb slacksmoccasins (SFS)

ufb 4t2 GP10 workpants 05/22:

I think these were converted by someone else already but I can’t find them right now. But again, these come in colors a bit (if not exactly a lot) different to the original Sims 4 ones, and certainly not all of them.

The mesh shape goes along my Anatomy V2 body. More or less. Hard to find a balance between TS2 blockiness and TS4 gummy limbs. In progress!

Five recolors, ages teen to adult, categorized as everyday

Shoes are edited H&M sneakers (to be a bit more dynamic than just a flat sole) with misomoso’s textures

Polycount: 1428/1014

Credits: uhh EA I guessss

Download ufb 4t2GP10workpants (SFS)

OKAY END OF POST FOOTER HERE and the soundtrack to it

This got so long wow no wonder i dread uploading things because it always piles up and takes me an hour+ to write this all

[holycow99]

石田お寿司 12/9/21 stream translation Part 1

This is not the full translation of the stream. I only translated the parts I could understand & interpret or parts I found interesting/important. I’m still a beginner in Japanese, so the translations may not be accurate. If you want to repost, please repost at your own risk.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I: Hello. Can you hear me? Good night. (t/n: He’s replying to a comment.) You can hear me? Hello. Welcome.

I: My tone sounds great today, ***-kun? (t/n: OP commented that his tone sounds great.) Of course I’ll be excited in the beginning of the stream. But only in the beginning.

C: Your voice somehow sounds young.

I: It’s because I just slept.

*Typing on twitter

I: I finally did it. This is a simultaneous worldwide stream. Do you understand it? Ah, I’m so tired. I’m tired of sleeping.

I: I’ll be drinking my coffee. Itadakimasu.

I: It was a long vacation, wasn’t it? When was the last time you guys heard from me? On September…Well, it doesn’t matter.

I: I don’t have anything particular to do for this stream. I just felt like it.

C: I’ve been listening to your streams repeatedly during holiday.

I: Thank you.

C: We last heard from you at the end of August.

I: I see. Thanks.

C: Thank you for your hard work on the manuscript!

I: I did the rough sketches first. I was brainstorming.

*Someone commented on Animal Rap.

I: Animal rap? I actually wanna try this. Actually, I’ve done recording for one video, but won’t it be scary if suddenly in the middle of the stream, animal rap video is uploaded. Without saying anything, suddenly there’s a new animal rap video being uploaded. Won’t it be scary stream?

(t/n: I’m not sure if the translations for this part is correct. He said something more but I haven’t reached this level of Japanese understanding skill. Forgive me.)

C: Animal rap itself is scary, so it’s okay.

I: What a hilarious thing to say. Are you actually afraid of animal then?

C: Have you got vaccinated?

I: Nope, since I’ve been locked up in my house. I want to though. I want to get injected a lot. Around 10 times.

C: Sensei, did you read Berserk chapter 364?

I: Is it the final chapter?

Y****: Let’s inject the head.

I: Nice one, Y****. Well, since Y**** is an introvert at school, he must be a non-popular kid. Because he doesn’t have any friends, he can’t wait to meet me. Is it like that? Hahahaha.

I: I’m not even aware of the things happening around me. I don’t even know when the exhibition in Osaka will open. I want you guys to tell me about me.

C: I’m aiming to be a mangaka, but having someone that can be a mentor for me to learn from is better, as expected?

I: I don’t think so. It depends. In some degree, it’s better to do it by yourself. If you really wanna write a manga and you wanna create an environment that allows you to do so, if there’s a chance to be an assistant, I think it’s better for you to grab it. Because you’re still not familiar with how these things work. I think it’s better to be an assistant first. You don’t have to be one for a long time though.

C: I want to diet. Where should I start?

I: Record your weight. Measure your weight and record it in calendar. Doing that makes you feel conscious about your weight. You’ll probably can lose weight that way.

C: Are you still eating oatmeal?

I: I’ve been eating Onigiri only. 

C: I wanna change job, but I’m anxious to because of the economic situation. Please encourage me!

I: It’s better for you to change job, since you said you wanted to. I think everyone is anxious. There’s no one who isn’t.

C: I’m happy that the JJ illustration that you posted on twitter will be made into goods!

I: Yeah, without my permission. Hahaha. When the illustration was made into goods without my permission, I was like “Eh? This is…”. I’ll stop talking about this. Hahaha. I won’t talk about this.

*Someone commented about Kingdom exhibition.

I: I wanna go to the Kingdom exhibition.

I: What I said just now (about JJ illustration) was a lie. Please forget about it. Are there companies like that? Of course not. I was just joking. If that’s the case, then anybody can freely turn my illustrations into goods. Though there’s a person who sent me the PugMax t-shirt.

C: I wanted to be a mangaka when I was small. As I got older, I only immersed myself in the real world. I’ll be a civil servant starting from next year. I don’t have the courage to challenge myself, so I want to give my unconditional support to those who are.

I: I don’t know how old you are, but you can still draw even if you become a civil servant. Just draw one if you really want to.

C: You have to collect royalty.

I: I do get royalty. I get 5 yen in total.

C: How old will you be this year?

I: 250,000 years old.

C: How are you?

I: Like usual. But I made progress on the manuscript, so I’m relieved. I kinda forgot how to draw it.

C: I thought you were in your 30s.

I: Nope, I’m far older.

C: You haven’t started game streaming?

I: I’m haven’t decided yet for today.

*People were discussing about his age.

I: Doesn’t matter how old I am.

C: Do you prefer women with long hair or short hair?

I: Short hair.

*People commented about Heavy Rain.

I: Oh, you want to see me playing Heavy Rain? I’m okay with that. I’m okay with playing games or anything. I’ll be a yes-man for today. Everyone’s yes-man & toy, Ishida Osushi.

*Someone commented about Animal Rap again.

I: I wanted to say something about this. I’ve done the animal rap video. I only upload videos I’ve received from the animal themselves, not me. But I was afraid to upload it, so I refrained from doing so. I wanna try uploading the video while streaming. That’s what I wanted to say. Well, it doesn’t really matter. I just upload it after I finish streaming. I don’t understand the need to upload the video and streaming at the same time.

(t/n: He said something more, but again, info on Animal rap is hard for me to decipher. I’m really sorry.)

C: What did you watch recently?

I: Movies.

C: There were people who got scared by the fact that Ishida Sui raps.

I: No, you’re wrong. Ishida Sui doesn’t rap. Ishida Sui doesn’t do streaming as well.

C: Do mangakas have the chance to meet women?

I: It depends on the person. The ones who’re locked up in the house won’t. But…That’s right. You might if the workplace has mixed genders. You also have the chance to meet people during party or some sort. I’ll always be at the corner every time I go to parties. It’d be nice if the party was fun and the staffs could enjoy themselves. I also said that I went to parties to take a break, but I hated it.

C: You’re not going to parties?

I: Nope, I won’t. The company doesn’t hold them as well because of the current situation.  Even if I did, I wouldn’t know what to do. I don’t really eat the food, and introducing myself to people is tiresome.

I: S****** is here.

S******: Ishida Osushi can become a pro mangaka.

I: I’m aiming for it.

C: Fukuoka suits you, sensei.

I: Somehow, I feel grateful. It’s like you’re telling me that it’s okay for me to live in Kyushu.

(t/n: Kyushu is an island where Fukuoka is located.)

C: Sir Osushi, what do you think of Sir Sui?

I: I have a murderous intent towards him.

C: Does the thumbnail hold any meaning?

I: It does. Look forward to it.

C: Being a streamer suits you (Osushi) better than being a mangaka.

I: Hahaha.

C: The drawings of Neji (JJ character) by Ms. Towada were wonderful!

I: That’s right. Neji drawn by Ms. Towada. I want you guys to tell me something like this. I want you guys to tell me about my current situation. Things like, “would you retweet this?”, “This is JJ’s…”, “The CD’s also…”. Let me change my twitter account. First is Ms. Towada, right? Let’s retweet Ms. Towada’s tweets. I thought of drawing something like this. She drew quite a lot. She drew him more than me. I feel bad having her to draw it. I feel grateful rather than feeling bad. She drew a lot of them. Yonaga’s illustration looks nice. I see… There’s like an incomplete rough drawing. I thought of copying and drawing that illustration. I’ll just retweet this. Tell me what should I retweet next.

C: Is Ms.Towada doing well as well?

I: I talked to her a few days ago.

I: Do read Fool Night.

C: Do you like Aespa? (t/n: Aespa is a kpop girl group. Ishida had drawn one of the members.)

I: The girl caught my attention. I thought she was beautiful.

*Someone commented about his illustration of Ano-chan. (t/n: Ano-chan is a Japanese singer. Ishida had come to her radio programme once, and he did the album cover for her latest album.)

I: Ano-chan! What happened to that? Have you seen the album cover? It’s already out?

*Someone commented about Fool Night.

I: The world in Fool Night is super amazing. It was quite a while ago, the person in charge of the Superior magazine watched one of my streams and asked me if I could write some comments. I was like “Don’t tell me that!” (referring to watching his stream). I hate being seen. But then, I was like “whatever.” I usually turned it down, but I just wrote for this one.

*Someone commented about Wooma (t/n: an illustrator.)

I: Who’s Wooma? Let me check it.

C: Sensei, I’m a good child. So, is it okay for me to sleep?

I: Yes, of course.

C: Sensei, do you smoke?

I: No.

I: Ah, Wooma is the illustrator for the song ‘Usseewa’. Sorry for the lack of knowledge.

C: Do you watch Christopher Nolan’s works?

I: I’m not that familiar with movies, but I may or may not watch it. I’ve been getting into movies lately. I searched for the movies Takahashi Kunimitsu told me about. You tend to watch anything when you’re obsessed with movies, right? I was also obsessed with history for a while after I learned how fun it was from Takahashi Kunimitsu. I’ve been reading 2-3 books on history a day lately.

C: Until what time are you gonna stream?

I: Today is infinite as well. We have another 12 minutes left. Haha. I’ll keep on streaming today. I won’t end the stream today. It may end tomorrow. (t/n: He definitely kept his words.)

C: Sensei, do you like itzy? (t/n: Itzy is another kpop girl group, and Ishida had also drawn one of the members.)

I: Yes.

I: Tomorrow is a holiday? There are people who are not working tomorrow.

C: What are you drinking?

I: Coffee.

C: You only need another 800 people to reach 30,000 subscribers.

I: Yeah. It’s gonna reach 30,000. I have to make an appreciation stream or video for 30,000 subscribers. A lot of youtubers are doing this, so I have to do it too. I wanna do it. Feels like a youtuber. Isn’t it fun? I wonder what should I do for it? What would be fun? Let’s go with this concern first. I get lost if I don’t go one-by-one. It’s one of my bad habits.

*They’re planning on what Ishida should do when he reaches 30,000 subscribers.

C: Show your nails.

I: I don’t do manicure.

C: Heavy Rain.

I: Wanna play Heavy Rain as well.

C: Please let us hear your sneeze.

I: There is such person sometimes. Creepy.

C: Why don’t you play Ghosts n Goblins for now?

I: After the stream, I felt like playing the game. They had something like magical clock, though I forgot the name. The one that double the speed of the game. I really wanted to play that, honestly. Though, it wasn’t suitable for streaming. I thought of playing it in my own time. I really like that kind of games.

C: Will you sing when you reach 30,000?

I: During the previous silent stream, Queen Bee’s song was playing. Those who watched may know. I thought of appearing for a moment and sing and then end the stream. I wouldn’t do it, but I just thought about it. At that time, I wanted to try having just an illustration stream.

C: I’m waiting for an autograph session after the Corona ends.

I: The pandemic probably won’t end for at least 2-3 years.

*Someone wanted him to sing Gaston’s song.

I: Gaston. Singing, huh? Hahaha, why am I having second thoughts? I thought I’m okay with anything.

C: how about a karaoke battle?

I: Karaoke battle, huh?

C: Do you have any piercings?

I: I’m not wearing one right now, but I do have it. (t/n: I didn’t expect him to have a piercing. He’s really different than what I imagined a mangaka to be. XD)

C: I’m hoping for JJ’s song covers!

I: JJ? JJ’s songs are difficult. It was super hard during the time I did the covers. Seriously, when I heard it back…The cover for the opening theme was scary. I thought my singing ability had increased since I recorded this one the last. A few months ago, I listened to it after a long time, it was…what should I call it? A sutra, no, a curse. Me and JJ’s opening theme. I forgot the title of the song. Jack and something. There were parts in the songs where the female and male characters had to harmonise. To convey that part, I had to cover the song multiple times. I multiplied into 7 people, since I had to record as Kisa as well. When I was recording Kisa’s part, the other version of me at the back, probably Kai, was harmonising with me. I was told to deepen my voice by Mr.Kasama. So embarrassing. The voice was really low. I was drawn by Mr. Kasama’s voice. His voice was really good when he said ‘Broccoli’ for the cm.

*Ishida imitating Mr. Kasama.

I: It’s cooler than this.

*Imitating him once again.

I: I was like “So cool!”

C: Invite the animals that appeared in Animal rap as guests.

I: That’s a good idea. But what would the guests be doing? It’s absolutely hard to do that. It’s hard to invite the animals because of corona.

C: The title is “Jack & Jeanne of Quartz”.

I: Right. Thank you.

C: Won’t you invite Hanae?

I: I won’t. That’s impossible. (t/n: I want to see him playing horror games with Hanae Natsuki.)

Part 2

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: January 28th, 2021 (Part 1)

And we’re back with many more ask answers! Thank you for waiting.

Is lizzie/the main character tripping over a rock a random event in barbecue? or does it require certain choices? i picked the same choices in multiple different playthroughs but ended up with three different outcomes (1. nothing happens 2. liz trips 3. i trip)

Yep! It’s completely random. Just a little moment of life you don’t have control over, haha.

wait just double checking you stated that derek would be another romantic interest you can pursue in step 4 right??? im just asking cuz hes my fav character 

oh wait and btw i was the one that asked the question about derek being in the step 4 just now, and will you have to pay extra for like a dlc or something bc i play the free version rn and i just wanted to check!! 

Yeah, you will eventually be able to romance him, but unfortunately it is a paid DLC. Cove is the only love interest who’s entirely free-to-play. You can  follow our social media for when we giveaways for a chance to win a key for it, though.

i know that y’all said the step 3 dlc and step 4 will be released early 2021, is there any update to that? for example, a rough amount of days/weeks until release? no pressure at all, i’m super excited!! <3 

The Step 3 DLC will be about in maybe two-two and half months or so. Step 4, we’re not entirely sure. Maybe a few months after the Step 3. We don’t want to give set dates until we’re really close to the release since otherwise we wouldn’t be able to 100% guarantee them.

First off love the game. Second I'm a little confused on how the nsfw dlc is gonna work. Because based on some stuff you've said it sounds like a patreon only thing and others make me think it could be an itch/steam thing after the fact? Would you mind clarifying for me 😅. Also if it's a patreon only thing do you need to become one before it's released? 

It’s not going to be on Steam/Itch. The actual game of Our Life is safe for teens with no adult content. Any 18+ stuff we’re releasing is separate bonus content. Right now the only for sure plan is having it available through Patreon. If there’s another hosting site that’s not Steam or Itch that’d be easier for people than Patreon we might consider uploading it there too, but nothing else is set.

If you want the bonus Moment you’d have to join once it’s already out or sometime after the release. Joining now would get you our current rewards, but wouldn’t get you future content that’s coming later.

this is probably an awkward question and i apologize, feel free not to answer, but i just wanted to address the elephant in the room....will step 4 acknowledge covid/2020 world events?? i kind of hope not bc i'd like to just exist in a fictional version of the world where things are happy in this quaint seaside town and the world isn't falling apart, but i'd understand if there are some references to it. just thought i'd ask so i can Prepare if that makes sense

Step 4 isn’t going to include Covid or even reference it. When we set Step 4 in that year we definitely didn’t know there’d be a global pandemic during it. It’s too late to move the timeframe earlier or later, but we’re not going to make Step 4 stressful for anyone because the real world became so much more stressful. The universe of Our Life will just be an even more idealized place than it was before.

hiiiii! i'm really sorry if this is a bother. i was just curious if cove has a canon setting for each step, like is it canon that he stays candid the whole game and is super sporty for instance and the rest are variations? thank you for your time!

None of those settings are canon. They’re all equally valid.

I love the game and Cove so much that I ended up spending most of the holidays playing it. Definitely worth it! Idk if you're taking suggestions/criticisms, but I chose the peach skin tone and seeing it written as "my peach skin" in the game broke immersion for me because I kept thinking it was referring to the fruit instead of my skin color. I think that skin color is most commonly referred to as "fair" but "peachy" or "rosy" would work too if you're looking for a different word 

Thank you for sharing your experience. We’ll change it to “peachy” in the next update!

So I accidentally overwrote a save file with a different one, is there any way I can recover that save? 

Sadly, there isn’t. Not unless you had a backup of the actual save file files in a separate location you can get. I’m really sorry. You can try using the skip feature to quickly speed through the game and get back to where you were though.

Do you try to maintain the color scheme for the clothing throughout the years in Our Life? 

Yes, though in hindsight not as much as I wished I did, haha. It could’ve been a little more cohesive. It was a bit too broad in my opinion.

I noticed that Cliff mentions he wasn’t much older than Cove before finding out he was going to be a father when he finds MC in bed with Cove during Part 3 so doesn’t that Cliff and Kyra were teenage/young parents? 

Yeah, Cliff was nineteen and Kyra was eighteen when Cove was born. They were just a couple of kids.

Does Cove have a favourite holiday? 

It changes depending on the year. Around Step 1 he’s not a huge fan of a lot of holidays because he’s not together with his whole family for them. But once he’s older and Kyra comes around more, he starts appreciating major family holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas more than other holidays because he knows how it feels not to have that. Though summer vacation is of course his most favorite all the time, if that counts as a “holiday”.

I tried to join your patreon but I can’t seem to? The website keeps saying something went wrong and to try again. 

I’m sorry you’re having trouble! I think contacting Patreon support would probably be the best option if the joining process itself is having issues.

How much is it to become a part of your Patreon? I don’t have a lot of money currently but would love to help you out more than just buying the games and dlcs. 

Aw, I appreciate you wanting to support but the Patreon is really optional. You don’t need to push yourself to join if you don’t have extra funds for it. To still answer the question, the tiers are $1, $5, $10, $15, and $20 in USD. Each come with different perks.

I had this idea for a future daughter for the MC and Cove being named "Poppy", after the flowers on their hill~

That’s a really sweet idea! I’m sure Cove would be a fan.

So if you don't mind me asking, how do you get Cove to propose to you in Step 4 and not the other way around? 

I’m afraid that’d be too big of a spoiler to give away before the epilogue’s release, at least in terms of specifics. Generally you’ll just have to be patient and try not to propose first, haha.

will we get to move in with cove in step 4 😮?? or is that a secret 

You can be living together with Cove in Step 4! Though you wouldn’t get to see the place itself. That’s up to your imagination.

Is it bad that I'm completely in love with Cove's dad... What I gotta pay to romance Cliff 😭 (I don't mean as Jamie because that would be wack) 

That’ll cost one million 20 twenty dollar bills, haha. I’m really glad you like him, though sadly we aren’t able to make a separate game where you can romance Cliff. I wish we had enough time to make tons of new scenes/extra stories in the Our Life world, but it just takes too long. Maybe people will make fanworks about it.

—–

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog  

[css1992]

Guilty Pleasure

[Porn AU]

Summary: Peter and Beck used to be a power couple in the porn industry, but after Beck dumps him, Peter is forced to start over. With no money, no family and nowhere to go, he doesn’t have much choice other than to keep doing porn, so he joins Just4Fans to get back on his feet and then one day he gets a very generous tip from someone under the username of YKWIM.

All the warnings listed on Part I apply.

Read on AO3

Part I / Part II / Part III / Part IV / Part V / Part VI / Part VII / Part VIII / Part IX / Part X /  Part XI / Epilogue

-x-

The last couple of weeks of May flew by, soon June arrived and with it even more sunny days and warmer temperatures. Peter couldn’t help but think that his life fell apart in the winter, and as summer approached, it was slowly getting back on track. He was able to save a decent amount of money every month, his apartment was coming together – he even had a dinner table and chairs by the second week of June –, he was taking on more responsibility at BFF way quicker than expected and he was happier, in general.

He felt comfortable enough to make plans again – with the steady money he was making, he might be able to give up porn in a couple of years and he would still be eligible to apply for some of BFF’s grants and scholarships, meaning he may be able to go to college at 23, after all. Money would be tight for a while, but it was doable. He could always work part-time to supplement his income as well.

Summer also brought some unexpected good news. On a random Thursday morning, he was bombarded with messages on Twitter and Instagram from people asking where they could find his videos now that Beck’s channel was down. He was confused at first, but when he went to check, the channel wasn’t there, it had disappeared from the site.

He gasped. For a total of five seconds, his mind went wild, his heart raced, and his eyes watered. For those five seconds, he felt a mixture of happiness, relief and confusion, knowing those videos weren’t out there anymore, couldn’t be found, couldn’t be seen, couldn’t be remembered. But it was only for five blissful seconds. When his brain turned back on and the first rush of excitement died down, he realized that probably wouldn’t last.

That had happened before, when they first started posting. People mass reported the videos and the channel until they got taken down, because Peter looked very young at eighteen. They had to send a picture of his ID to the website for check several times, it was months before it stopped happening once and for all. Peter assumed Beck was posting videos of his new boyfriend, who he knew looked very young, so it was probably just a misunderstanding and only a matter of time until he got the channel – and the videos – back up.

Still, he allowed himself to count that as a win and couldn’t help but feeling giddy all day, to the point where everybody noticed his good mood – Ned, MJ, people at BFF and Tony.

Tony, who didn’t disappear. As days and nights and weeks went by, Peter stopped waiting for it to happen.

“Someone is awfully cheery today.” The older man grinned at him from the driver’s side that night, as Peter sang along to Ed Sheeran, because it was his turn to choose the playlist. Tony had picked him up from BFF and they were heading to his place for a quiet night in.

“It’s a good day, Tony.” He shot back after the chorus of Put it All on Me and the older man beamed, the corners of his eyes crinkling up.

“It sure is, kitten.” He turned up the volume and Peter sang even louder, causing Tony to burst out laughing.

At some point, he realized life was a little less complicated than he gave it credit for. He realized that if he actually gave things the precise amount of thought they deserved, not everything felt like the end of the world. The minute he decided to just let things happen the way they were supposed to happen, without overthinking every detail, life got so much easier.

He decided not to make the thing with Tony a big deal. Sure, when he thought about it for more than two minutes, it seemed like a huge fucking deal, he was basically dating Tony Stark, one of the richest men in the world, Iron Man himself, the man who had literately saved half the universe from extinction not even two years earlier. So, yes, that seemed like a big fucking deal, but–

But.

To him, he was just Tony. This charming guy who texted him daily to ask about his day and crack acid jokes about his business associates. This kind guy who sent him chocolates when he was feeling down and cooked him dinner every weekend and made sure to e-mail him easy and healthy recipes so he wouldn’t starve to death. This gentle guy who called him beautiful and touched him with such care that he forgot how many hands had left bruises on his skin before.

When he forgot everything Tony was supposed to be and just focused on everything that he was to him, what they had seemed so simple and pure.

He stopped worrying about labels, too. In the beginning, he kept stressing about what they had, what was expected of him, what he expected of Tony, but eventually, he decided none of that mattered. They made each other feel good, they made each other happy, they made each other better, all in all, whatever label he could put on their relationship wouldn’t make any difference, so he let it go.

Weeks later, Peter heard Beck had managed to get the channel back up, only for it to get taken down again in a few hours, then his Instagram and Twitter also disappeared. He wasn’t too surprised, and if he was honest with himself, it was fun imagining Beck losing his mind as he tried to fix it. After all, every day the channel was down, he was losing money. And his social media, specially his Twitter account, was where he promoted his content to thousands of followers, so losing that meant losing money as well, and if there was one thing Peter knew Beck loved, it was money.

He wondered what the fuck the man had done to piss people off like that, it was clearly a coordinated attack, but he wasn’t curious enough to try and find out what happened. He would rather watch from a distance, rejoicing in the satisfaction it gave him to imagine that maybe, just maybe, one of those days Beck wouldn’t be able to get the channel back up and would have to start from scratch, like Peter did. And maybe then he wouldn’t re-upload his videos – that part was a little harder to believe, but who knew, stranger things had happened.

When June came to an end, Peter was surprised with a notification from Tony on Just4Fans. He had almost forgot the man was still subscribed to his account there, they obviously never chatted on the app anymore, and when he opened the notification, his blood ran cold in his veins.

It was a tip.

A hundred thousand dollars tip.

He couldn’t fucking believe it. A tip? For what, a job well done? It wasn’t like Peter was – what did that even mean? Was Tony trying to say something with that, send some kind of message?

He decided not to call him right away, he was too – upset. The older man was picking him up later that evening for dinner, so he decided to wait. Whatever he had to say to him, he wanted to hear it in person. He wanted him to look in his eyes and tell him he thought he was his fucking wh–

“What is the meaning of this?” He asked as soon he got in his car, avoiding the kiss that came his way. Tony blinked in surprise, trying to understand why he got a phone shoved in his face instead of a kiss, and then he finally saw what that was all about.

“Oh, that–“ But before he could answer anything, Peter interrupted.

“I told you I’m not – Tony, why would you – this is so insulting!” He was honestly at a loss for words. They had been seeing each other for almost two months by then, things were going great, they met every week, they made apple pie together, for God’s sake, had he misunderstood all the signs?

“My God, Peter, that’s not that, I just thought – I mean, I’m a billionaire, you know this is pocket change for me, right?” Peter gasped, shocked, and Tony’s eyes widened when he fumbled with the door handle. “Wait! I didn’t mean – Jesus, okay, hold on a second, please!” Tony reached over him to shut the door before Peter could get out of the car. The young man turned to look at him with tears in his eyes and Tony looked incredulous when he leaned back and ran a hand through his hair. “Don’t just assume the worst, have I given you any reason for that?” He sounded hurt, which made Peter gulp. He took a few calming breaths and shook his head slowly.

“No,” he whispered, dropping his gaze.

“Ok, good.” He actually sounded relieved at that. “I am a billionaire, Peter, and this is pocket change for me, which means –“ he raised his voice a little, predicting a reaction from him that didn’t come, “I didn’t realize this would be such a big deal. For me, it’s like giving you, I don’t know, flowers. I didn’t mean this as a payment for whatever you think this is, I just thought this would be a good help. You’re starting your life now, you have that list of yours that you don’t let me see, you’re saving up money, you have your plans for college, I just meant to help. I mean, if we weren’t together, I would have tipped you every month, so I thought –“

“But we are together, Tony, I –“ he was a little calmer then, because that was, in fact, a reasonable explanation and he shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. “Look, I appreciate the gesture, but next time you mean to give me flowers, just give me flowers! I believe you have the best intentions at heart, but it’s just weird for me. I don’t want this to be about money. I just – don’t want that, okay?”

He gazed at the older man as he gaped at him, mouth opening and closing, but no sound came out for a while.

“I just thought – I mean, people usually –“ It was unusual to see Tony speechless like that, but the man shook his head and looked back at him, almost embarrassed. “I just want to help you.”

“Are you kidding me?” Peter poked him in the arm, trying to lighten up the mood in the car. “You’re teaching me how to cook. Yesterday I made an omelet and I only burned one side, I’m getting good at this. That’s a big help.”

Tony didn’t laugh at his joke, like he usually did, he just gazed at him with an unreadable expression, before leaning in to kiss him, which Peter gladly reciprocated.

“I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable,” he whispered, then, resting his forehead against his.

“And I’m sorry I was rude. It won’t happen again,” he promised, and he meant it.

After that night, he removed Tony from his Just4Fans, which came as a blow to the older man, who pouted and whined for about a week, only stopping when Peter showed up at his place one Saturday wearing Iron Man lingerie under his clothes – it was supposed to be a joke, but it worked surprisingly well for Tony.  

By July, it became impossible to keep sneaking around Ned and MJ, as the dates became more frequent. Peter decided to tell them that he had met someone online and that they were getting to know each other. He told them it was nothing serious yet and if it became serious, they would meet him.

He did have to throw in a few lies to get them off his back – he definitely had to lie about Tony’s age to avoid certain comparisons, but he would cross that bridge when he got to it, if he ever got to it. He wasn’t sure if or when he was going to tell them the whole truth, but for the time being, he  felt more comfortable keeping that relationship to himself.

He and Tony didn’t go out much, but when they did, it was always to fancy and discreet restaurants with private rooms; Tony was, after all, a celebrity for all intents and purposes, and at if the press got a whiff of them there would be no secret left to keep.

But staying in with Tony was far from boring. They cooked together and the older man taught him all of his grandmother’s secret recipes – Peter could never replicate them by himself at home, but it was still fun trying. They spent almost all of their time down in the workshop, though, where Tony  had him do menial tasks, like screwing bolts or reaching for a part inside an Iron Man suit. He said his tiny hands were useful for his projects.

He knew he wasn’t really that useful, but he loved when Tony included him and asked for his help, even though he didn’t really need it. He was fascinated by everything the older man taught him in those moments and in turn Tony always looked proud and pleased when Peter put his lessons to use.

He didn’t mind keeping him company when Tony was focused on projects he couldn’t help with, he stayed there anyway, reading a book or watching TV on the tiny couch – Tony kept saying he was going to get a bigger one, but he didn’t believe it, he knew the older man enjoyed the fact that the only way they could fit comfortably on it was if Peter was lying half on top of him.

So after several weeks, they established a little routine of their own. Since Tony had a busy schedule and Peter was still trying to keep Ned and MJ somewhat in the dark, they didn’t meet that often on week days, but they always talked on the phone before bed. On Thursdays, Tony picked him up after his shift at BFF and he spent the night at his place. They had breakfast together on Fridays and then they met again every Saturday after lunch, and finally Tony dropped him back off home every Sunday evening, so he could have dinner with his friends.

In August, for the first time in his life, Peter had two birthday celebrations. One with his friends, when the three of them went bar-hopping and he got home so hammered he had absolutely no idea how they managed to climb the stairs, and another with Tony, when he decorated the workshop with  balloons and put party hats on Dum-E and U.

“Surprise!” He yelled lamely, throwing confetti at Peter when they stepped into the workshop. The younger man laughed, delighted, as Tony hurried to the kitchenette and came back with something in his hands. “I know it doesn’t look good, but I promise it tastes good. Probably.” When Peter looked down, he noticed it was a large chocolate cake with ‘Happy Birthday, kitten’ written on it in bright pink icing. It looked so ugly, but it was so beautiful at the same time. “What did I do now?” Tony frowned, face falling.

He blinked a few times and when he touched his cheeks, he realized he was crying.

“I’m sorry, I’m just – really happy.” He grinned, pulling the older man’s face to give him a kiss. “Thank you.”

It was late October when Tony told him he had to go on a trip to China for two weeks, and even though it wasn’t his first work trip since they started dating, five months earlier, it would be by far the longest one since then, so it was kind of a big deal. Still, he didn’t expect to feel so affected, but on the days leading up to it he was so upset he couldn’t hide it.

They spent their last Sunday together wrapped up in each other doing absolutely nothing. They slept in, Tony brought Peter breakfast in bed, which was rewarded with a lazy and sloppy blow job, and they spent all day in bed, only getting up for essentials, like food and water. They didn’t even turn on the TV, they didn’t even talk much. They just held each other and exchanged slow, tender kisses until their bodies were too warm to stay under the sheets.

Tony ran a bath for them and got in the tub – it was big enough for eight people, but Peter made a point to sit in his lap, clinging to him like a koala. He felt Tony’s arms encircle him gently, as he rested his chin on top of his head.

“I’ll be home before you even have time to miss me, kitten.” He whispered, and those were the first words either of them had said in at least a few hours.

Peter didn’t tell him that was impossible since he already missed him, instead he just held him even tighter.

After the bath water went cold, they climbed out of the tub and Tony insisted on drying him, before dressing him in one of his own T-shirts, even though Peter had a multitude of spare clothes in his closet. He sat in bed, watching Tony pack a huge suitcase that reminded him just how long he would be gone for. He sulked a little – just a little – and that earned him a little kiss on his forehead, which was enough to undo the frown between his brows.

Finally, in the evening, Tony parked his car in front of Peter’s building, turning to look at him with an almost pained smile, before leaning in for a kiss.

“I’m gonna miss you,” Peter whispered against his mouth and felt when Tony’s lips stretched into a small smile. He pulled away a little, just enough to look into his eyes, and cupped his chin in his hand.

“I’ll miss you too, but I won’t be long, ok? It’s just a few days.” He pecked Peter’s lips one more time for good measure and the younger man nodded.

“Call me if you have time.”

“Of course, kitten, every day.” He leaned in for another kiss, this one longer than the previous, and Peter’s heart fluttered. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out, containing the urge to say those three words that had been trapped in the back of his throat for weeks.

“Have a safe trip. Let me know when you land.”

“I will, baby.”

Peter got out of the car and waved, watching as it disappeared down the street. He sighed and his heart ached, he already missed Tony and it had only been a few seconds, how was he going to survive fifteen whole days? It seemed impossible. It was crazy to think how far they had come since March, when they talked for the first time. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

He turned to go inside, but froze in place when he heard a familiar voice.

“So that’s why you’ve been ignoring me, huh? How rude.” He turned slowly to the left, only to be met with Beck’s cocky, arrogant smile, just a few feet away from him. “I tried calling, I tried texting, you’ve blocked me everywhere, I can’t even e-mail you anymore, it appears.” Beck walked slowly and leaned against the rails of the stairs to Peter’s building and the younger man curled his hands in fists, trying to control the urge to just run. “Long time no see, Petey-pie.”

He was paralyzed, muscles rigid, but to his own surprise, it wasn’t fear that he felt, or sadness. It was pure anger.  

“I wonder why,” he answered quietly, but firmly. Beck’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline, before the smile was back in place. “How did you find me?” He demanded, because Beck had never cared to ask where Peter was going to stay after he kicked him out, so how in the hell would he know where to find him?

“Wasn’t easy, I have been following you on Instagram, some of your morning run routes seemed familiar, so I–”

“You stalked me?” He frowned, taking a step closer to the other man, who looked at Peter with indignation and hurt. He shook his head, softened those baby blue eyes and placed one hand over his chest, right above where his heart would have been if he had one.

“I just wanted to see you, is all.” He shrugged, dropping his gaze to stare at his own feet, and Peter wanted to roll his eyes. It was so weird watching his whole act now that the spell had been lifted.

“What do you want?” He asked, making the older man’s head snap back up, a little surprised by his cold tone.

“I just told you, I wanted to see you. I missed you.” He took a few steps towards Peter, who in turn walked backwards to keep his distance

“You missed me?” He scoffed, shaking his head. “Where’s your new boy-toy, you put him away so you could come play with me?” He cocked his head to the side and, for a moment, he could see the shock crossing his features.

“Pete… Why are you acting like this, it’s like I don’t even know you anymore...” His voice broke and he looked away, pretending to wipe away a tear. He wondered how the hell he used to fall for that.

“You don’t, Quentin. I’m not a lost little boy anymore, you should go back to your boyfriend. Or is he smarter than me and dumped you already? Is that what this is all about?” He narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest, and Beck’s mouth hung open like he couldn’t believe his words.

“I made a mistake, Pete. After so many years, I took you for granted, I couldn’t see what I saw the first time I met you. I couldn’t see how beautiful you were, how caring and loving you were, how loyal and reliable and – I don’t know, I was blind. I was so stupid, I shouldn’t have left you.” His eyes were wide, earnest, shining with unshed tears. His face was open, even his body language screamed honesty. Suddenly, he didn’t feel so bad about falling for his act – Beck was good. “Don’t  you miss me, baby? Don’t you miss us?”

Peter snorted, shaking his head, he couldn’t believe the nerve of that man.

“You made a mistake, huh? So you dumped your new boy, right? If I were to go home with you right now, he wouldn’t be there, waiting for you, like a fucking plan B, in case this doesn’t go your way. Right?” It was his turn to take a few steps towards the older man. “Like I was your plan B while you waited for him to turn 18?”

“Peter, c’mon–“

“Is he there, Beck? Just answer me that. Come on, if he’s not, I’ll take you back right now, we can go home together.” He insisted, looking into the older man’s eyes, but he didn’t say anything, he just sighed. “Of course he is. If I said yes, what would you do? Tell him to pack his things in the middle of the night and leave? Would you keep all the money he’s made you and tell him to fuck off? Would you leave him broke and lonely and fucking lost in this world? Would you tell him that he wasn’t good enough and dispose of him like he’s fucking garbage?” His voice grew louder and louder, and when he came to himself, he noticed he was in Beck’s face, their chests almost touching, so he took a step back. “So to answer your question, Quentin, no, I don’t fucking miss you. You fucking ruined me!”

“I saved you!” And just like that, the good guy act was gone. His whole demeanor changed, the soft baby blues widened, his mouth was set in a sneer, he puffed out his chest to intimidate him, but Peter stood his ground. “Don’t pretend you don’t remember who you were before me. You were a fucking loser! An orphan, no family, no friends, no future! I took you in, I took care of you, I gave you a profession – don’t fucking roll your eyes, what the fuck are you doing now, huh? Rocket science? ‘Cause it seems to me like you’re still doing porn, and now you’re clearly branching out into prostitution, would you look at that!”

“You have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about!” He placed his hands on the man’s chest and pushed him away when he got too fucking close for comfort. He held his breath when he realized what he had done, afraid of the man’s reaction, but he just kept his distance.  

“You know what? Fuck you, Peter. I was wrong about you, I thought I knew who you were, I thought I missed you, but you’re just a disgusting fucking whore, after all. You’re a dirty little bitch in heat who likes to get this loose hole of yours fucked by old perverts, I don’t know why I’m surprised, I mean, that’s why I dumped you, you were enjoying those videos a little bit too much for my taste. You weren’t even satisfied with two cocks up your ass, one in your mouth and a line of men waiting to fuck you. You disgust me.” He started walking away, and Peter wanted to say something, he wanted to yell at him and defend himself, he wanted to tell him he didn’t fucking enjoy it, he wanted to tell him that it was all his fault, he threw him to the lions, he let those men fucking–

Fuck!

He rushed inside the building and ran upstairs, eyes clouded with tears. He tripped and fell knees first on the steps, but he didn’t even feel pain, he just got up and kept going, kept running, trying to put as much distance between him and Beck as he could, even though it was irrational. Beck was gone, he walked away, he left him, he left him again, he wasn’t coming back–

“Ned?!” He knocked urgently on his friends’ door. He didn’t have his spare key, it was upstairs in his own apartment, but he couldn’t trust himself to go all the way up there and down again without having a full on panic attack. “MJ?! Are you guys home?!” He was really trying not to sound too desperate, he didn’t want to scare them, but it was hard controlling his emotions when his heart was hammering against his chest and he couldn’t fucking breathe.

“Peter?” It was MJ who yanked the door open. She had a towel wrapped around her torso, her hair was wet, and Peter felt guilty, but she took one look at him and quickly pulled him into a hug. “My God, Peter...” She whispered into his hair when he started sobbing uncontrollably on her naked shoulder. “Come on in, c’mon.” He heard the door closing behind him, but he didn’t let go of her, he felt like if he did, he wouldn’t be able to hold himself together.  

He wanted to tell her not to worry, that she should go finish her shower and change, but he really, really needed her right then. She sat down on the couch, pulling him with her and he promptly laid down, burying his face in her legs. He couldn’t stop crying and sobbing and no matter how many times she asked him what was wrong, sounding increasingly more worried, he couldn’t get his feelings under control enough to give her any answer.

He was there for what felt like hours, when at some point someone lifted him from MJ’s lap and enveloped him in such a tight hug he couldn’t breath for a second, but he sighed in relief, it was right what he needed. Ned’s arms felt like home, it calmed him down almost instantly – his voice whispering that it was fine, everything was going to be okay helped a lot, too.

“I hate him, I hate him so fucking much,” he mumbled into his shoulder, God knew how much time later, and his friend just hummed, patting his back. “I hate that he made a mess of me and I let him.” He couldn’t hold back more tears when he said that, because it was true, it was so fucking true. He let Beck do whatever he wanted to him, he let him ruin his dreams, his future, his fucking personality, until he was nothing but a shell of what he used to be.

“I know, Peter, I know,” Ned soothed him, rubbing his back, even though he probably had no idea what he was talking about. “It’s okay now. You’re okay. It’s over”

“I made tea.” MJ’s quiet voice sounded somewhere from his right and when he turned to look at her, she was already dressed, wet hair up in a bun, with a mug in her hands, which she extended to him. He accepted it but didn’t dare to take a sip, he was positive that if he did, he would throw up, his stomach was all kinds of fucked up at that moment. “Peter, what happened? Did Star – uh, did your boyfriend do something? Did he hurt? ‘Cause I swear to God–” Just the mention of Tony being the cause of his distress made him sick, so he cut her off.

“Beck was here.” He sniffed, looking at the mug to avoid their eyes when he heard both of them gasping.

“Beck? Beck was here? Fucking Beck?” MJ screeched and he nodded.

“He was waiting for me outside.” He rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to gather enough energy to have that conversation.  

“What did he want?” Ned asked calmly, while MJ paced the floor, furious.

“I don’t know...” He shrugged, wrecking his brain to try and figure out what his motive was. “His channel got taken down a few weeks ago and he couldn’t get it back up. I heard he had to start over.” He hadn’t been watching that closely, but he knew something was wrong, even his Twitter and Instagram accounts kept getting taken down almost monthly, it was impossible he was making any money over the past few months. “He said he wanted to get back together, probably because he thinks us making up would be a big hit or whatever. I said no, of course. He didn’t like the answer.”

“Did he hurt you?!” MJ strode back to him until she was standing right in front of him, looking into his eyes. He was almost intimidated by her.

“No, he just… Said some pretty shitty things, is all,” he answered sheepishly, because he hated that that man could still make a mess of him with just a few hurtful words.

“Oh, dude. He’s just mad he’s lost control over you. Whatever he said, he just wanted to hurt you, it doesn’t mean anything.” Ned placed an arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer, and Peter rested his head against his, sighing.

“I know. He was always like that, you know,” he whispered, as flashes of memories crossed his mind. “When I didn’t bend to his wishes, when I didn’t do things his way, he fucking–“ He squeezed his eyes shut, furious, because he had fallen for that again. “He tries to charm me and when it doesn’t work, he attacks me. But the thing is, he really knows what to say to destroy me. It just sucks. But it’s fine. I just need a moment, I’ll be fine.” He sat up straight and looked both of his friends in the eyes.

“Yes, you will. You most certainly will.” Ned patted his shoulder one last time, getting up from the couch. “Why don’t you lie down for a second, huh? I’m making dinner, I’ll even try one of those recipes your mystery boyfriend taught you.” Just the mention of Tony made him breathe a little easier, even though he wouldn’t be able to see him for a while.

“Okay.” He nodded, smiling softly. MJ took Ned’s place on the couch and he lay down, placing his head on her legs, as she ran her fingers through his hair. He sighed contently and closed his eyes, feeling exhausted. He was close to drifting off when he heard Ned gasp.

“Oh my God,” He breathed quietly from the kitchen and both Peter and MJ looked at him curiously from over the back of the couch.

“What?” She didn’t look too worried, but Peter was concerned about how pale he was.

“Ned, what’s wrong?” He frowned, watching Ned’s horrified expression looking at his phone like it was a murder scene. He raised his eyes and gulped.

“Peter is trending on Twitter,” he whispered, after a while.

“What?!” They both hurried over to the kitchen counter, and the first thing Peter saw when he looked at his phone was a picture of him and Tony in his car, kissing. As Ned scrolled down, more pictures showed up, but not only that, clips of his old videos were all over Twitter, people knew his full name, his real name, and they were making all sorts of comments. Iron Man, Tony Stark, Peter Parker, sex worker, prostitute and porn were trending.

The room was completely silent for a whole minute, before MJ turned on the TV.

“… appear that Tony Stark, former CEO of Stark Industries and retired Avenger, was seen kissing a young man in his car earlier this evening. The person in the pictures seems to be one Peter Parker, a twenty-one year old porn actor, who is also said to work as a prostitute…”

Peter’s heart sank to the bottom of his stomach, his vision blurred and he felt bile rising in his throat. He took a deep breath and got up from the couch, ears ringing, as he rushed to the front door.  He heard his friends yelling something, but he couldn’t make out their words, and he just couldn’t deal with all that right then and there.

“I, uhm, I gotta go,” he called from over his shoulder, slamming the door shut on his way out.

As he ran upstairs, vision blurred by tears and chest hurting, begging for oxygen, he couldn’t help but remember his life fell apart in the winter. And fall would be over soon.

-x-

So... It appears that someone has lost the ability to write short chapters... 

Anyways, only three more chapters to go!  🥳

Tag list (please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed from the list):  @sadachmesarthim @iamnotparticularlyproud @staticwhispersinthedark @bluestarker @ whyisthisathingcb

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with tatooedlaura (Laura Sprys)

Laura has 28 fics at Gossamer, but the big treasure trove of her stories is at AO3, where she has 193 fics. Thank goodness for the richness of the X-Files and for talented, creative people like Laura who can find so many interesting ways to tell tales in the show’s universe. Big thanks to Laura for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

Maybe reading mine but reading older fic in general is something I still do and something I still find entertaining. I do wish i could get into my old fics and post a warning that some of those were written before the author: ever had a drink, ever had sex, ever had a boyfriend, ever lived on her own, ever had a real job, or ever experienced much of anything in the real world.

Then again, fanfic is a perfect time capsule for the age and it’s always fun to see where the originals started and how they’ve grown.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

Back in the day and up and through today, it has always been a fun experience. From it, I’ve learned to love writing. I’ve learned that fans are crazy, weird, wonderful, generous, talented, committed, passionate, and imaginative. In a fandom, you can think whatever you wish and write about anything you like and because I’ve been around so long, I’ve gotten to watch the storylines shift and the relationships change ...

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Originally, I never had much interaction with people other than ones who sent emails commenting on my fanfic … the internet at my parents house was dial-up and I had to access through the AOL free disks that arrived in the mail so, for the most part, I didn’t have the bandwidth or the connection speed to do more than upload stories and download episode guides.

Good lord, I remember submitting a story and having to wait upwards of two days to two weeks before the new batch of stories was posted ... then ephemeral came around and you could actually have your story up in under a day ... all ya'll who started on tumblr and ao3, you have it great, let me tell you :)

One thing that stands out in my mind still (and I’m still friends with her on Facebook) was a woman from western Canada who I stumbled across somewhere while looking for the blooper reels. She offered to send me her copies on VHS for my collection. I don’t think she asked for payment and one day, a package arrived from a lovely woman near Lethbridge, bloopers playable, tapes labeled in clear printing. I still appreciate that 20 some odd years later :)

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

Fandoms are crazy places. Tread lightly at first but enjoy what you want, ignore what you don’t, rewrite what you hate, and write what you love. Don’t be an asshole when you don’t agree with someone … when you do, tell them …

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

I was on board from the first episode. It was a show about two people who you felt were destined to be together but weren’t, and wouldn’t be for years. It was a cop show about aliens and a monster show with cops. I was in the right place at the right time in the right frame of mind and there was just something that clicked and I never looked back. Friends were not allowed to call me on Friday night and once it switched to Sunday, I made sure that my parents got us on early evening bowling league so we’d be home in time to watch. Even my boyfriend (eventual husband) knew to shut the hell up from 9-10pm, even if he was sitting next to me on the couch (with my parents in their chairs watching as well)

Also, my 56-year-old dad had a crush on Scully from the start so that was entertaining as hell as well

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I have been writing stories in my head for literally as long as I can remember. Watching some episode, I honestly don’t remember which one, I suddenly had an idea for a story about Mulder and Scully. I had never written a story with pre-existing characters before and it was totally foreign to me. How do you write a character with a current storyline. It was weird, it was difficult, it was some of the most fun I’d had writing up to that point.

Suddenly, I didn’t have to explain or describe the characters, think of jobs and mundane things … they already had those … and it was great.

Honest-to-God, my first fic was written, in pencil, on a yellow legal pad by flashlight while lying with my head at the foot of my bed so I could see my parents coming down the hall if they happened to wake up at midnight to go to the bathroom. Later fics were written by the light of an 10” TV/VCR combo with me still lying with my head at the foot of the bed. I still have those old legal pads somewhere and I remember having to type them in secret, having to wait until the house was empty for 20 minutes to an hour at a time. Uploading them was always unnerving because of the slow dial-up and the fact that I didn’t have my own email address, but had to use my dad’s. I’d have to make sure to check it whenever I could, intercept the feedback I’d get off gossamer.

I was such a damn rebel.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Well, I now know how to interact with people given tumblr and AO3 but it hasn’t changed much. I contribute a little more now that I understand posting on social media but mostly, I still just write like a fiend and post, read voraciously and give kudos and likes often, comment some and reblog.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

I dabbled and have a favorite ‘Fringe’ fic … I tried to read a Harry Potter fic once … I type ‘West Wing’ occasionally in ao3 and tumblr ...

And nothing, absolutely nothing, has ever caught me like the X-Files did in regards to the fandom experience.

I have shows I watch and re-watch and re-watch but no two characters have ever had me writing and thinking and planning like Mulder and Scully. No other combo has ever made me write upwards of 300,000 or more total and still have plenty of stories to tell.

I’m okay with this.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Aside from Mulder and Scully and the gentlemen three of Frohike, Langley, and Byers … I love all Scully’s nieces and nephews in my ‘Life’ series … I also love Corduroy (picture books), Harold (purple crayon fame), Neville Longbottom, the characters from my own novels, Katniss (book not movie), Anne Shirley, Elnora (from the Limberlost), Will Stanton/Merriman/Barney/Jane from ‘Dark is Rising’ and 10,459 others …

I’m a children’s librarian so most of my favorite books are those written for the younger and YA crowd. I like my job :)

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I watch this show all the damn time. I will think about Mulder and Scully when I have nothing else to think about, normally writing and editing whatever story I may have in the hopper at the time about them.

My husband laughs when I have the show on. He knows all the episodes with me and it’s one of my comfort shows that I don’t have to pay attention to when it’s on. During it, I have edited books, decorated cookies, been sick, been recovering, simply wasted a perfectly good day because I could.

My 17-year-old daughter keeps it on while she does homework and works out.

It’s a staple at our house and no one is allowed to make fun of it, even though we all know that parts are completely ‘make fun-able’

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I read fic all the time … I have worked my way through AO3 starting from the beginning and if it was more easily readable on a phone, I’d work my way, once again, through gossamer.

Restated from above: I dabbled and have a favorite ‘Fringe’ fic … I tried to read a Harry Potter fic once … I type ‘West Wing’ occasionally in ao3 and tumblr ...

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

I have all kinds of favorites on tumblr but right now, I honestly don’t remember most of the names … I pretty much read everything that comes through my dashboard and every few days, i read through the newest posts on AO3 … I love you all!!

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Of X-Files fics, I love my newer stuff … I read “Life” and its sequels every few months … ‘Your Place or Mine’ is another one I will read … actually, I’ll just say it .... I read all my own fic over and over again …

With fic, you get to write the characters as you want to see them and write situations that you want to see … I write for myself most of all and I love to read what I wrote :)

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I write them all the damn time. I have tons of snippets and half-finished that I occasionally glean things from but while sometimes, old stuff morphs into new, sometimes, it just needs to gather that dust and live a quiet little forgotten life in some backhand folder on my dropbox account ...

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

First question is answered above.

As for other creative work, I have published two YA novels, have the third in that series in editing … I have five other novels in the hopper in various stages of ‘good lord this needs an edit or twelve’ …

I am writing things constantly in my head or on my laptop … most is crap … stome sticks … some turns into fic and some turns into books …

But the point is, I am writing, in some form, at all time :)

Where do you get ideas for stories?

Some two sentence conversation will spark an idea … the line of a song will inspire an idea … a word will start a sentence which will turn into a paragraph which will tumble straight into a story … and sometimes, stuff just pops in my head for no damn reason at all ...

What's the story behind your pen name?

On gossamer, I am L. Sprys because that was my name at the time :)

On tumblr and AO3, I’m tatooedlaura because my name is Laura and I have, now, six tattoos (yes, I spelled it wrong in my handle but that’s life) … when I decided on the name, I think I only had two

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

They do now … it took me years to crack and tell them … my husband has never read them, nor have any of the people I have told (as far as I know)

Now, I don’t really care who knows … I’ll tell them I write smutty X-Files fanfiction and family-friendly X-Files fanfiction …

I am too old at this point to be embarrassed by what I like to do. If they laugh at me, I tell them they only get to laugh when they’ve published a book and I pull up my books on Amazon … I’ve only had to do that once and it shut them right the hell up …

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

Gossamer: L. Sprys

Tumblr and AO3: tatooedlaura

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

I love you! I see you! I appreciate you! I hope you enjoy! Don’t judge me for my grammar issues! I will never be able to spell the word ‘excersize’!

(Posted by Lilydale on April 27, 2021)

[funkwhistle]

Barbie Bell

Pairing: Micah Bell x GN!reader

Notes: Micah needs a new shirt and struggles to find a new one - my contribution to Barbie Bell :)

(photo is mine - don’t reupload without credit :)) & this is my last Micah photo I’ve been too lazy to upload them atm XD

Micah had been expecting a parcel for weeks now, from the tailor in Blackwater. His old red shirt, the well-loved one he wore all the time, had finally worn too thin, showing everything under it and was irreversibly stained with blood. Even Miss Grimshaw, under Micah's pleading looks, had tried to scrub it clean, but after wearing it for months he'd decided to order a new one. 

Micah being Micah, he obviously couldn't do anything by halves; no he wanted the exact shirt again, so you and him went hunting around the local tailors trying to find a replacement. But wherever you went he'd find something wrong with an alternative.

“Can't you see, these buttons aren't good enough-”

“No, no, this is not the right red,”

“It's too long and my old one had a nicer collar,” 

You'd even taken the train over to Strawberry to check the general store there, in a last ditch attempt to find it. But whichever tailor you had asked, they all said they didn't have an exact copy of it, yet Micah was adamant he'd find one. While you knew if you told him where he'd be able to find it, he'd run over there, unfortunately the large bounty on his head stopped him from returning from the Blackwater tailors alive. 

So, he'd opted for ordering it, as you often did with your clothes; you hated nothing more than sitting in a tailor, you'd rather have to stitch it to fit you instead. A few weeks ago, the both of you sat by the campfire, measuring him correctly and writing a letter to the Blackwater tailor, signed as a certain Mr Kilgore. When you first went to run one of the tape measures the girls used for sewing across the back of his shoulder, he had tensed up, saying he could guess well enough until Susan yelled across camp that he was an idiot, and suddenly, he didn't mind it, intimidated by the older woman. 

You'd never seen Micah so excited, once the letter had been posted he was positively beaming, buzzing about the prospect of his new shirt. The pair of you had said it needed to be red, and attached an old photo of him wearing the shirt for reference, reassuring him that the tailor just needed to see the style of the shirt, it wouldn't matter if it faded. Once you'd exited the post office, Micah looped his hand in yours, something he never did, walking back through Saint Denis with an unusual skip in his step; even going as far as to buy the both of your food in the salon. 

And here it was, he'd been avidly visiting the post office for weeks since the tailor replied he'd do his best, becoming a nuisance to the station clerk. It was wrapped carefully in brown paper, and you had to stop him from ripping it open in the station itself, he was far too excited. Micah was fidgeting the entire ride back to camp, knowing he would want to try it on right away, so you kept it on your lap, swatting his hands away as you rode. 

“Right, go open it then,” you said when you got to camp, passing him the parcel carefully. His face lit up, and he snatched the parcel from you, disappearing into the house to get changed. 

Micah took a while to change, you anticipated he'd be out quickly, happy with the new shirt, but he didn't; and after nearly twenty minutes you knocked tentatively on the room he was changing in. 

“You alright in there?” you asked, creaking open the door a little to look at him. He was stood on the opposite side of the room, no shirt on, looking down at the opened package on the floor in front of him as he read a note. Hesitantly, you entered the room, shutting the door behind you and walking over to him. As you approached, he looked up at you, looking deflated and upset about something, and you didn't have the chance to look at the contents of the package before he'd pulled you to him and buried his head in the crook of your neck. 

Wrapping your arms comfortingly around him, you hushed him, feeling the side of your neck getting damp from his silent tears of disappointment. Wondering what was so bad, you looked over his shoulder, shuffling, so you could see the ripped parcel on the floor. Spilling out of it was a hot pink shirt, nothing like the red he'd tried to describe. While he was upset, you couldn't contain your laughter, knowing his childish excitement about what it would look like. 

“'m being stupid ain't I?” he said, moving out of your embrace and wiping the tears from his eyes when he saw you looking at him. You shook your head briefly in reassurance. 

“What did the note say?” you asked, reaching to try to grab it from his hands.

“They didn't do the red no more, so he sent the next best. 'm sorry darlin, it's not like me-” he rambled, showing you the note. Clear as day, the tailor had written his apologies, and had given Micah a small discount on the price, and yet Micah — the feared outlaw — was stood here, tears trickling from the corners of his eyes in disappointment. 

“How about ya try it? Can't be that bad, right?” you said, pulling it from the wrapping and holding it up to him. Smiling weakly, he took in from you, pulling it on while you watched. 

You felt awful for him, this was all he'd spoken about for weeks now, and, like a child, had been devastated when it had not lived up to his expectations. And of course, you were sympathetic, but also you'd tried to warn him not to get his hopes up, that nothing is ever perfect, and yet he chose to ignore you still. His hands were almost at the final button, having to take breaks to wipe his eyes or blow his nose.

Once it was on, you stood back and admired hm for a moment. You knew he wouldn't like it, but you thought the pink suited him well, bringing out the life in his cheeks and making his hair seem that little blonder. 

“Well?” you asked, indicating for him to spin. 

“It ain't what I wanted-” he started, spinning willingly for you.

“-but?” you probed further, approaching him and straightening the shirt for him.

“I ain't mad at it,” he shrugged, pressing a light kiss on your forehead. “You reckon the gang'll laugh?” It was your turn to shrug, smiling a little at his concerned look.

“If they do, then they do, nothing you can do 'bout it,” you said, moving closer to him. “But I-” you pressed a kiss on his collarbone, “-think you look-” a kiss placed on his jaw, “goddamed handsome Mr Bell,” a kiss on his lips, which he deepened immediately, grinning madly into the kiss.

“You really think so?” he sounded doubtful as he leant his forehead on yours as your hands ran themselves through the clean fabric. 

“I know so Micah,” you said, “Now shut up and kiss me again,”

Micah was only too happy to oblige, grabbing you by your waist and bruising your lips onto his, making you squeal slightly in shock, not that you were complaining. 

He wore the shirt around camp nearly as much as his old red one, and sure, at first, there had been teasing, asking if he was in fancy dress, but eventually the gang got used to it. In fact, you caught Lenny wearing pink socks a few weeks later, and Hosea began to favour pinker neck ties. And Micah, confiding this in complete secrecy to you, had said he had considered ordering another one, he loved the colour so much. Nothing had made you happier than the first time you saw him wear the shirt on a job, even if it did come back stained again, just the fact that he'd put in the effort because he knew you liked the shirt was enough. 

A/N: Well I shocked myself for getting this done I was not expecting to - let me know if the spelling is off bc guess who proof read vv fast. 

@mallr4ts​ @mister-dude​

[ri-ahhh]

cake for dessert

Grayson wants a slice of MJ for dessert on a rainy day

4.8k

warnings: badly written smut

A/N: one of the MJ things I promised to upload. It’s storming like crazy here and this is all I want in life rn so I figured this was the one to post.

***

A chilly spring rain has descended over LA out of nowhere, as MJ discovers with surprise when she and her best friend Lainey step out of their final store at The Grove. That Saturday had started off warm and sunny, a perfect weekend day to spend out and about, but the storm rolling in is suddenly derailing her and Lainey’s plans for a chill afternoon at the beach.

“Well, shit,” Lainey remarks, glancing up at the dark clouds looming in the not-so-distant skyline.

“Right?” MJ concurs. She scrunches her nose and watches Lainey pout as they consider what else they might do with their Saturday. With MJ still busy working hard at her new job and, admittedly, being wrapped up in the fading newness of Grayson, she and Lainey haven't had much time to spend together. Especially considering her friend’s own relationship and hectic schedule.

A fat raindrop surprises her by landing on her nose, and both of them giggle as the sudden light sprinkle becomes more steady. They hurry down the walkway to the parking garage until they find MJ’s car, hurrying inside and slamming the doors just in time for the rain to start really coming down.

“Looks like we’re going home, unless you want to fight the LA drivers who have no idea what they're doing in the rain to go to a movie or something,” MJ jokes, selecting her favorite rainy day playlist full of Tame Impala, Bon Iver, Rex Orange County, and the like to serenade them on the way back to her apartment.

Lainey laughs. She’s also from out of state and shares MJ’s anecdotal opinion of the LA natives. “Yeah, as much as I want to stay and cuddle and feed each other takeout, I think for that reason I’m gonna have to head out when we get to your place. It’ll take me an extra hour to get home because of this.”

Now it’s MJ’s turn to playfully but also somewhat seriously jut out her lower lip in an impression of Lainey’s earlier pout. “Who’s gonna dangle pad Thai noodles into my mouth, then?”

“I don’t know, babe. Don’t you have a boyfriend or something now?” Lainey smirks, snatching MJ’s phone from her lap and waving it in her face so her lock screen illuminates, an accidental candid she had captured of said boyfriend with that beautiful smile shining right at her.

“It’s not the same,” whines MJ, entering the rapidly congesting highway. “First of all, he’s busy most of the day. Second, he makes it sexy, whereas you’re just plain cute. I don’t think I’m in the mood to be sexy today.”

That was true, for sure. Her outfit consisted of a pair of black leggings, one of Gray’s t-shirts that hung off her body shapelessly, and a baseball cap to hide the fact that she wore no makeup. Between her stuffy nose from the cold she’s fighting and the lack of sleep from the night before, she couldn’t be bothered that morning to try any harder.

Lainey, who had been listening while checking the visor mirror to see if her mascara had survived the rain, feigns offense. “Wow, bitch, are you saying I’m not sexy?”

“Boo, you’re sooo sexy. Grayson should probably thank you for half of my skills based on your tips over the years, now that I think about it,” MJ grins, causing Lainey to cackle.

Their girl talk continues the rest of the surprisingly short car ride back to MJ’s apartment building. MJ pulls up behind Lainey’s car and hugs her bestie over the console.

“Love you. Text me when you’re home so I know you survived the drive.”

“Will do. Love you, babe.”

MJ makes sure Lainey is in her car before driving into her covered spot. The tiredness had been real before, but the pure exhaustion hit her out of nowhere as her mind processes that she’s now home. She’s suddenly looking forward to nothing more than ordering said takeout, soaking in a too-hot bath, and watching The Hobbit series all afternoon.

She shuts the door to her apartment behind her with a sigh and trudges into her room, tossing her bags on her bed. Desperate to start the second half of her day of relaxation, it takes her all of 30 seconds to strip down and make her way into the bathroom. As the soaking tub fills, she selects a Lush bath bomb and bubble bar from the basket on the counter.

With a last-minute face mask applied, hair piled on top of her head to keep it dry, and New Girl ready to play on her phone, she’s just settling into the water with a light moan when the phone begins buzzing on the ledge of her soaking tub. She dries her hands and smiles when she sees Grayson’s name on the FaceTime call.

“Hi, baby,” she answers once his handsome face fills the screen, scooping some of the foamy bubbles closer to her chest so they fluff out cloud-like from her skin.

Grayson grins and takes a second to admire at her. “Hi, sweetheart. You look so fucking cute.”

MJ rolls her eyes but flushes and smiles appreciatively. “If you say so. How’s filming going?”

He puffs his cheeks and blows out the air slowly, running a hand through his hair. “Good, but it’s been a long day. E and I both decided to call it quits early; we’re both way too strung out on no sleep and anxiety to get much else done, especially now that the weather’s gone to shit.”

“I’m sorry, Bear, I know you both wanted to get everything wrapped tonight,” she laments with him, wishing she could comfort him with a kiss to his plump pink lips. “I’m kind of in the same boat. Lainey and I couldn't go to the beach, and between this cold I have and the fact it’s getting harder and harder to sleep without you, I’m so tired.”

Grayson smiles at her in that way he reserves only for her — soft, crooked, his hazel eyes sparkling in the center and crinkling just the tiniest bit at the corners — especially at the sound of her little pet name for him.

“Can I come over? I’ve been thinking about you all day, but I didn't want to cut into your time with Lainey. I just need to be with you.”

“Yes please,” MJ agrees with a sniffle. “As long as you’re the big spoon while we have a couch day. That’s about all I’m gonna be good for today, I think.”

“Of course,” he grins, getting into his car. “Are you gonna be my little cuddle bug all afternoon, Peach?”

She hears an exasperated ‘oh my God’ in the background and can practically see Ethan’s eye-roll out of frame.

“Yeah,” she coos back to her boyfriend, then, “hi, E.”

“Hi, MJ,” he grunts. As she’s naked underneath the clouds of bubbles, Grayson doesn’t angle the phone towards his brother, but she can still hear his voice. “You know, he’s already a cornball most of the time, but you really bring it out of him in droves, dude.”

Grayson doesn’t even react to Ethan, his gaze fixated instead on MJ through the phone. “Good. I sleep better with you in my arms, too.”

“Ugh,” Ethan complains. “Where are my fucking AirPods?”

She does, indeed, hear rustling, presumably from the older twin, but she chooses to ignore him as well. “Can you pick up Thai or Veggie Grill or something on your way over?”

“Oooh, yeah, either of those sound awesome. I’m starving,” Grayson agrees. “I’ll have to drop E off at home first and hopefully traffic wont be too bad both ways. Be there in an hour?”

“Sounds good. Thank you, baby,” she says quietly with a sweet, content smile.

He winks at her, and his voice drops a couple of notches. “No problem, Peach. As long as you’re my dessert.”

Her body rushes with heat, and not from the temperature of the water she’s soaking in. Before she can answer, Ethan groans louder than ever.

“Oh my God, dude, I fucking heard that! Can you keep your cheesy sex talk at zero while we’re literally right next to each other?” His voice suddenly picks up even louder so she can hear him. “MJ, I can’t believe you still let him fuck you when he says shit like that.”

“He makes up for it with the other things his mouth can do,” she retorts, winking at Grayson. Her giggles join Grayson’s howls of laughter and taunts at his brother, who apparently is very much done with the conversation. “Alright, I love you both. Drive safe, please.”

True to his word, Grayson shows up a little over an hour later with a bag of Veggie Grill in one hand and a Starbucks medicine ball in the other. MJ absolutely despises hot tea, and he knows it, but he also knows she won’t be able to resist the soothing warmth of it — especially considering he took the time and effort to get it for her.

He smiles at the sight of her cocooned in the plush, cozy fabric of her favorite blanket and leans down to give her a quick kiss. He hands her the drink, which she does indeed accept with warm eyes and a soft heart. She takes a sip and lets the hot liquid coat her scratchy throat as he plops down next to her with a sigh and sets the food on her coffee table. Grayson cups her cheeks to draw her in for another kiss — lingering, closed-mouthed pecks this time.

“Hi,” he says, smiling and dropping one to her red-tipped nose for good measure.

“Hi,” she whispers, her voice hoarse from mouth-breathing more and more throughout the afternoon. “Sorry I look so gross. This cold is kicking my ass the later it gets. You’re probably going to catch it.”

“First of all: worth it. Second: are you kidding? This is my favorite MJ,” he assures, peppering little kisses all across her forehead as he draws her in to his chest. Her hair is in the same messy bun from her bath, her glasses are on, and she’s dressed in her old college crewneck sweatshirt, boy-short Calvins, and fuzzy socks… “No one gets to see you like this except me. All fresh-faced and beautiful and undone. All mine.”

“Mmm,” MJ hums, snuggling into him and sniffling. “We’ll see how you feel when I’m snoring like a 300 pound grandpa in a little bit because I can’t breathe out of my nose.”

“Okay, but I don’t see how that’ll be different from any other night.” She draws back and smacks him on the arm playfully, scoffing incredulously. He just barks out a laugh and kisses the frown off her lips before distributing their late lunch between them.

They make comfortable small talk while The Office plays quietly in the background, mixing with the patter of rain on the large windows. A fuzzy warm ball settles in the pit of her stomach that has her feeling almost heady at the simple intimacy of the moment.

MJ finishes first. She takes off her glasses and places them on the coffee table next to her tea so she can curl into a ball and nuzzle into Gray’s shoulder. He kisses the top of her head affectionately and finishes his meal in silence while they watch the antics of Michael Scott and gang for the millionth time. Eventually his empty plate joins hers and he opens his burly arms to gather her in his embrace, lying down and bringing her with him.

Grayson chuckles when she fully climbs on top of him so she’s straddling his hips and hugging him with all of her limbs like a koala would a tree, her nose buried into the five o’clock shadow on his neck. He makes sweeping passes up and down her back. “Needy today, sweetheart?”

“A little,” MJ mumbles, eyelids already feeling heavy, even more so when he fixes the oversized blanket around the both of them. He smells so good, feels so solid and warm, his breath tickling her ear soothingly. They FaceTime every day, but their crazy lives have made it where this is the first time in days that they’ve seen each other in person. “Missed you. We both work too much.”

He lets out a little hum of agreement, sighing when he feels her lips pucker to dot baby kisses on his bronze skin. His hands stroke up and down her back comfortingly. “I missed you, too. E and I should have just one more day of shooting before we’ll be home more to work on editing and stuff with the team.”

“I’ll be in Seattle most of next week for a new client recruit,” she reminds, recognizing the inexplicit invitation. “Otherwise I’d come over and work remote with you.”

“Ugh, that’s right,” Gray laments, sighing. “Kiss me. Please?”

MJ gives him a lazy smile when she feels his fingers tilt her chin up. Their makeout is slow and simple and just what the both need, reconnecting after days and lives apart.

A few minutes go by until MJ groans a little and sits up in his lap with a sigh, a string of saliva connecting their lips before breaking with a snap.

“I can’t breathe laying down like that. Or just out of my nose,” she pouts. One of her hands plays with his hair while the other smooths down his t-shirt over his chest where she had rumpled it by laying on him.

Grayson grips her hips and follows her up, hugging her tightly around the middle with those huge, burly arms. “Since you can’t sleep anyways…” he looks at her, and she cocks an eyebrow, her lips quirking questioningly. “Can I have my dessert now? You can sit up on the couch. And no mouth-to-mouth required.”

MJ chuckles and wraps her arms around his broad shoulders, biting her lip as she considers his request. As much as she wants Grayson in any capacity most of the time, today is one of those days where sex just isn't on the table for her.

That being said, can she really resist that tongue? Those lips?

Before she can answer, he continues. “I know you don’t feel good, so I’ll understand if you just aren't up for anything today. But I’m not expecting you to reciprocate at all. I’ve just been wanting… like, basically needing to eat your pussy all week. It’s all I’ve been able to think about for so days.” He traces her jawline with his nose until his lips reach that little spot right behind the hinge and just below her ear, where he licks and nibbles until her hips start shifting in his lap of their own accord. “Please?”

Well, how the fuck is she going to say no to that?

She can’t, and knows he can sense her giving in when he starts to turn them around so she’s reclined against the back of the couch. Grayson grins while he arranges the blankets and pillows around her to get her as comfy as possible.

She watches him fuss over her with loving eyes, but wants to make sure he really is okay with the arrangement, too. “Are you sure? I don’t want to blue ball you. And I can speak from experience that that rug isn't a fun place to be on your knees for an extended period of time.”

Gray smirks at her and plants one more kiss to her lips before sinking down her body, snatching a couple of stray pillows to cushion his knees. “One problem solved. And don't worry about any chance of blue balls; it’s been way too fucking long since I’ve done this, and I’ll be lucky if I don't cum in my pants before I even get you to your first one.”

“Oh, so I’m in for more than one orgasm today?” MJ smiles back down at him and lifts her hips so he can drag her panties down her toned legs, placing her feet on the edge of the couch so she’s nice and open for him once he had the fabric tossed behind him somewhere. “I’d say that was big talk if I didn't know you could back it up.”

She knows he likes a challenge, and combined with his love for being praised and her bare pussy exposed to him at long last, she feels like she’s got a little bit of an upper hand here.

“Always,” he murmurs.

His lips start at the inside of her knee, working their way up to her inner thigh, across her mound to nuzzle in the little patch of hair she hadn't bothered to trim down between waxes, before trekking down the opposite leg. MJ knows his goal is to build up the anticipation for them both, and he’s succeeding; she can hear his breathing intensify as he tries to take in her scent, and she can feel the wetness beginning to leak out of her without so much as a lick from him.

Finally, he brings his hand up to trace her smooth lower lips, glancing up at her with warm yet lustful eyes as he takes in how his teasing is affecting her. MJ gives it right back, sneaking a hand under her oversized sweatshirt to play with her breast. It drives him absolutely crazy seeing her touch herself, but also not being able to see. If she didn't know any better, she would say sometimes he was more obsessed with her boobs than her actual vagina when they get down.

When his eyes turn dark, she grins and uses her free hand to rake through his hair and pull him towards her pussy while simultaneously pinching her nipple just the way she likes. Grayson growls and turns his attention back where she’s directing him, finally parting her with his middle and index fingers to expose her clit. He places a quick kiss directly to it, causing MJ to gasp and grip his dark locks tighter.

He gives it a more sensual smooch and pulls back to watch more of her juices trickle out of her until he can’t resist really getting to work anymore. His moan vibrates against her when his tongue swipes through the sweet wetness, trailing it to her clit with his mouth and giving the nub a gentle suckle before slipping his tongue back to her entrance. MJ lets out little whimpers of bliss as he makes out with her pussy, his tongue reaching as far inside her as it can, wiggling around and slurping down everything that comes out of her.

She lets him eat her out with no real purpose, thoroughly enjoying the constant stimulus of his lips and teeth and tongue without a driving need to make her cum behind it. Her hands flit between stroking his hair comfortingly, to playing with her breasts, to digging her nails across his clothed shoulders.

“Feels so good,” MJ whispers while she watches him work. Her fingers are combing gently through his hair once again to push the dark strands off of his forehead just in time to see his eyes flit open to meet her own.

“Tastes so good,” Grayson growls back, taking a moment to sit on his haunches and get a thorough look at her spread out for him. Her pussy is swollen and wet, the insides of her thighs bare the faint markings of his teeth, and her face is pure bliss even as she sniffs and coughs a bit. “You okay?”

MJ nods. It’s sweet of him to check, but all she wants now is his face back in her pussy. She bites her lip and one of her heels, still clad in a fuzzy sock, digs into the middle of his broad back to push him in. Grayson smirks darkly and follows her lead, his lips immediately suctioning around her plump little clit.

“Fuck…” MJ moans. Her voice is raspier than usual and, like everything else about her today, goes straight to his dick, which throbs untouched in his grey sweats.

He starts working her over with purpose now, determined to get her to cum in the next 30 seconds. He knows he can do it even if she hadn't started chanting, “like that, like that, don’t fucking stop…”

Her moans reach peak levels, as loud as she can be with her sore throat, and her clit throbs on his tongue. Her back arches off the couch and her hands dive fully in his thick hair now to hold him to her, her heel still pressing against his spine doing the same.

Grayson groans and has to remove one of his hands from her hips to reach into his boxers and squeeze his dick hard enough to stave off his own orgasm. He slips two fingers of his other hand in her dripping pussy to give her something to clench around, which doesn’t help his attempt at not cumming literally in his pants when he feels her walls gripping his digits like a vice.

“Baby…” she whines as he brings her down with little kitten licks on her pulsing clit, her thighs quivering around his head. Grayson hums and nuzzles into that delicate skin until the muscles beneath stop trembling, and the flutters around his middle and ring fingers have ceased. He never takes his eyes off her face — eyes closed, mouth agape, cheeks flushed. Beautiful and dismantled because of him.

Once he feels she (and, frankly, he himself) have calmed just enough to be able to take more, he starts to press and curl the fingers inside her. MJ whines softly as the build picks up again, which turns into shrieking when he wraps his swollen lips around her clit again and sucks the nub sharply into his mouth. Between the sloppy wetness of his mouth and the way he applies pressure just right on her g-spot, it takes all of a minute for her to fall apart again. She marvels, not for the first time, at how fucking good he is at this, how well he knows her body.

‘Always’ is right.

Grayson sits back, removes his hand and mouth from her and growls at the sight before him while he pushes against the backs of her thighs. So much for sitting up, as she’s now practically on her back, but neither of them are complaining or stopping to readjust. She’s perfectly exposed for him, her juices and his saliva coating her skin and dripping down her ass, she’s that wet.

“MJ…”

Her name escaping his lips in that husky voice finally gets her to lazily blink her eyes open until her gaze focuses on him as clearly as she can. He looks sexy as fuck on his knees for her, pupils dilated and the stubbled skin of his chin and jaw covered in shiny wetness.

Grayson’s big hands knead the insides of her thighs until he’s confident he has her full attention. He smoothes his palms to the crooks of her knees, moving her gently until she’s practically folded in half, and without breaking eye contact shifts his head that much further down so he can go to town on her even lower.

MJ gasps and shoots one of her hands to his hair, her first instinct being to push him away, until half a second passes and she’s doing the exact opposite. No one has ever done this for her before, and now she’s wondering how she had gone so long without the sensation of his tongue swiping up her cum from that virtually untouched hole.

If she was in any right state, she would have seen Grayson’s smug, quite literally ass eating smirk at her reaction to his ministrations. He isn’t sure why in their nearly eight months together he had never eaten her ass before; it isn’t the first time he’s done it to a girl. Maybe because he treasures sex with MJ more than anyone in his life before, maybe knowing in his heart that they have a long future of making love ahead of them had caused him to wait. What he does know, is that he’ll never be able to resist doing it again when the desire to rises, especially given her voracious response to it.

“Fuck!” MJ wails when he spreads her even more open with his hand so he can have better access, his tongue rimming and prodding her asshole to perfection while the thumb of his free hand presses upward on the hood of her clit. He knows her so well, can sense she’s too sensitive for direct stimulation there, but the pressure right above the bundle of nerves is exactly what she’s craving without her even realizing it.

But he does, and it feels so good — too good; Grayson’s eyes drop closed as he lets her taste and sounds overcome his senses, and it’s like her pleasure is his as his hand finally begins to jerk himself off. He builds up the speed of his strokes with her increased pace of breath, until she cums for a third time, and his tongue is quickly swiping all the way up her crease, from asshole to clit as he stands to his feet. He leans over her with one hand on the back of the couch and licks the last of her off his lips as he takes in her body to fuel him even more, even as clothed as she still is.

MJ starts to come-to enough to realize what he needs, and lifts her shirt to expose more skin to him. She drinks in the sight of her gorgeous boyfriend towering over her with his sweats and boxer briefs pushed down just enough for his equally beautiful dick to be out while he strokes the head aggressively. He’s about to explode and she knows it, just as attuned to his body’s tells as he is with hers.

His face is hovering just above hers, and she watches his mouth drop and his eyes train on her exposed skin. MJ bites her lip and whines, pulling roughly on her nipples while her eyes flit between his face and his cock. “Cum on my pussy, baby, I want it — want your cum all over me, make it your pussy…”

She’s rambling, but it’s all he needed as a deep, relieved groan escapes him, followed by soft grunts as he shoots all over her, exactly where she told him to and then some. MJ moans quietly and knocks his hand out of the way to finish him off herself, squeezing the last drops of the pearly white from him. The fingers of her other hand collect what she can from her skin to keep it from dripping on the couch, spreading it instead over her swollen lower lips.

His chest still heaves when she looks up at him with a tired smile, which he matches with a laugh when her final stroke makes him flinch. He pushes her hand off his cock and tells her, “Don’t move.”

She obeys, and watches him lean over to grab his phone off the side table, unlocking it and swiping up. “Is this okay?” he asks, motioning with his head. “This is too fucking sexy. Need a memento while you’re out of town.”

MJ giggles and nods, spreading her legs a little more as he goes to town. She does her best to coat her pussy in his cum, her long, glittering manicured nails adding a certain aesthetic to the shots. She even scoops some up and let him capture her sucking it off her middle finger.

Grayson smiles tiredly and kisses her sweetly, the gentleness and simplicity of it a little stark after the pure filth of the last twenty minutes. He tucks himself back in his pants and goes into her bathroom to get a wet rag to clean her up with, chucking it in the washer when he’s done. On his way back over to her, he picks up her long-forgotten panties off the middle of the living room floor with a smirk and hands them to her, plopping next to her and dragging her into his lap once they’re back on her body.

“I’m gonna have to insist on you having dessert every day,” she yawns into his chest with a sniffle. “I didn't know you liked cake so much.”

Grayson laughs and squeezes her tight to him, placing a lingering kiss on her forehead as he confirms to Netflix that, yes, they are indeed still watching. “And Ethan says I’m the cornball.”

“If he only knew.”

[crystaljins]

River lead me home | 01

Characters: Seokjin x Reader

Word count: 9.2k

Synopsis:  Ever since coming to the human realm when you were child, nothing seems to fit, and this was just supposed to be a simple roadtrip to help you find yourself.

Is that too much to ask for?

Spin-off to A long journey home

Rating: Teens

Notes: You guys are gonna laugh... I tried to upload this yesterday but it screwed up and only the title got posted! Naturally I deleted the post and didn’t get a chance to fix everything up, but it’s finally here! My monster of a fic !!!! Updates will be weekly. Honestly this fic took a lot to write, and it’s been 8 whole months of working on it!!! So I hope you guys enjoy it T.T If not I won’t be made though LOL (edit: @blue1928​ forgot to tag u soz)

p.s. I AM working on the HP prompts I’m just really busy this next couple of weeks LOL

Masterlist

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 FINAL

You’ve never really been particularly fearful of getting in trouble with your mother. She has always been a sweet and timid lady, the kind who would let her daughter get away with murder. And you are an adult, even if you don’t act like it, and so it’s not like your mother can do anything other than express her disappointment with your actions. 

Kim Seokjin, on the other hand, can have you quaking in your shoes with just a look. He was your nextdoor neighbour growing up, even before you all fled your home realm. He has since moved out of his parents’ home into his own apartment to pursue his dream as a doctor (and to take home as many lady friends as he likes without his parents’ knowledge), but he is still very much a stern presence in your life, even as one of your closest friends. He likely feels responsible for you, since though the two of you were young when you were driven into the human world, he is three years older. He did once refer to you as something like an untrained puppy, which you guess is very reflective of how he views you. The result of such feelings of responsibility is him trying his best to fulfill all the duties of being your legal guardian despite having no obligation to do so. The effect is him being terrifyingly stern with you, despite him being a calm, good-humoured guy with everyone else he meets.

Which is why, when you wake up in a hospital bed with your leg wrapped in a cast, you know that today is the day Kim Seokjin kills you. If the job interview that you completely messed up isn’t enough motive for him to seek you out, then the fact that you tried to stop a purse snatcher and ended up breaking your leg in the ensuing scuffle after said thief’s motorcycle fell on you most certainly is. 

In your defence, it wasn’t like you could just leave them be! Yes, you had not been back to your home realm once in the thirteen years since you and every other guardian were driven out, but at your core, you like to think you are still a Guardian. And so, as is custom, you cannot turn down a plea for help. And the young woman screaming in distress as a man on a motorcycle drove past and snatched her purse straight off her shoulder had certainly sounded like a plea for help! Really, Jin should be impressed, because the ensuing chase was something straight out of a movie, what with you in hot pursuit on your own bike (the one both your mother and Jin do not know you own). And you totally would have gotten the purse back if it wasn’t for the slight motorcycle crash. You’re not exactly sure what you hit since the events are a little blurry, but whatever it was, it ended up knocking you out and breaking your leg. 

A slight commotion breaks out at the entrance to the room and by the way onlookers swoon, you know that your time on earth is up. For the only person that can stir such a reaction upon entering a room is Kim Seokjin himself. Guardians naturally fit most of the qualifiers of what humans consider attractive, but even by Guardian standards, Jin is ridiculously handsome. Even though you find him boring and the biggest nag to walk the planet, not even you are immune to his disarming good looks. You could probably sense his aura blindfolded and your eyes are always drawn to him in a crowd and so you easily pinpoint him amongst the crowd of onlookers before he spots you. Today is his day off and so he does not wear his usual doctor’s gown. Instead a well fitted button up shirt and trousers highlights the broadness of his shoulders and the elegance of his figure as he strolls through the room as if he owns it. You recognise the style- that particular combination of button up and trousers are his date clothes. Your heart plummets when you recognise the outfit. Jin will be extra irritated about having to check on you in the hospital on his day off. Why did the paramedics have to take you here of all places? You’ve really signed your life away this time.

He pauses to smile at a nurse who passes by and she is immediately dazzled. Though he is no doubt furious with you, and is frequently irritated by your shenanigans, to the rest of the world he is charming and funny and good-tempered. You watch the exchange with curiosity- the nurse laughs at something Jin says and there’s a faint flush to her cheeks. You will probably never have such an exchange with Jin- even if he relaxed enough to make a joke in your presence, it would probably be at your expense. Jin’s taste in women is very obvious- he likes women that match him in beauty, ones that are fantastic at making you feel like a potato in comparison despite your guardian heritage, however unintentionally. Something in you twinges at the thought- you wouldn’t mind having a normal relationship with Jin. One where he smiles at you and makes jokes and actually enjoys your presence. But he’ll probably never view you like that- he’s made it very clear throughout your friendship what you are to him.

The nurse points in your direction and takes Jin’s distraction as an opportunity to trail her gaze appreciatively over his figure, settling on his profile. She must be new to the hospital if this is the first time that she is experiencing what Jin’s coworkers at the hospital describe as the “Jin effect”. Any humans (and most guardians for that matter) who meet him instantly succumb to his charisma and absurdly handsome face and find themselves desperately in love. This nurse is no exception and you decide to utilise the momentary distraction she has provided Jin when she attempts to get his number by attempting to slide off your bed and scurry away.

A tug at the back of your collar has you stiffening. If this were a movie, there would be an uneasy swell of high-tension violin as you turn your head to find Jin has grabbed the back of your shirt to stop your slow escape. He must have utilised a spot of enhanced guardian speed to be able to cross the room so quickly. The violins in your head begin to screech in terror. Jin merely smiles and it is eerily charming. His cheeks puff out and his lips curl in a way that would dazzle the average onlooker but you see the lethal intent in his eyes. You barely manage to hold back a fearful shudder.

“Nurse Jo!” He calls, and his tone is playful and sweet which contrasts directly with the venom in his dark pupils. In their depths you can foresee your death. “It seems one of our patients is trying to escape.” His tone darkens and drops on the last word and you flinch, preparing for the end.

Only it never comes, and you find Jin hoisting you up by the back of your shirt and with the help of security rushing forward they wrangle you back into bed. They do well- the average human doesn’t stand much chance against the superior strength of a guardian, and you are currently fighting for your life. But with Jin in the mix, they have you strapped to your bed in no time, forced to listen to whatever longwinded and painful lecture Jin has prepared for you

He stands at your bedside, arms folded across his chest. You mentally write your will in your mind- Taehyung can have your Nintendo switch and his girlfriend can go through your clothes and take any that she likes. Your mother gets anything worth more than $20 in your bedroom (though she might be searching for a while to find such an item, if it even exists) and Seokjin can get custody of your evil cat. Maybe it’ll scratch his stupidly handsome face up and you can get revenge from beyond the grave. 

“Are you going to tell me what happened?” Jin asks, and his voice is surprisingly calm. You look away, scratching at where the cast on your leg rubs at the skin of your shin. It’s stupid to wear the cast since with your enhanced healing abilities the break will be better by tomorrow, but the doctors of this world do not know that. 

You are not fooled by the almost friendly, interested tone to his voice- there is anger bubbling behind the mask of polite curiosity. Likely he is holding back to full force of his fury because this is his workplace.

“Well, I’d like to preface by saying I had no choice. Was I supposed to just let the robber go?” You say. You were attempting to placate him before elaborating on the full story, but it appears to have the opposite effect. Jin’s eyes bulge out of his head and his face goes that interesting shade of red that only appears when he’s very, very angry. 

“Robber? You took on a robber?” He says slowly, and you can tell it takes a few moments for the words to process. But gradually, the veins in his neck bulge and his eyes gradually widen and you wince as Jin erupts into what you like to call his “jants- Jin Rants.”. “Ya! Are you crazy? What were you thinking? What if you had been killed? I would have had to tell Auntie and then I would have had to organise your funeral because she would be inconsolable! If I even survived my parents trying to kill me for letting you die at the hands of a ROBBER of all people!” The impressive thing about a jant is the speed at which it is spat out. You are sure that professional rappers have nothing on the way Jin can spill out verses in a rage. He shoves a hand through his hair in distress and the ensuing messy look it generates is unfairly attractive- you think you see a middle-aged woman swoon in the hospital bed across from yours. Or faint. It’s hard to tell in a hospital. He continues screeching. “And then they’d PROBABLY make me MOVE BACK HOME as PUNISHMENT and there goes my social life! You could have ruined MY WHOLE LIFE, (Y/N)! What is wrong with you? Why do you always go making trouble like this?” It is those words, out of his whole rant, oddly enough, that causes you to stiffen. The implication that all you do is cause trouble. Which in a way you suppose you do. You cause your mother unnecessary worry- Jin is constantly sacrificing things to take care of you. Even your friends are constantly having to shout you meals due to your perpetual state of unemployment.

“I... couldn’t just leave it- they needed help, Jin.” You admit softly. Jin somehow hears your quiet admission over his furious jant and falls silent. He stares at you in confusion for a long moment, like he was expecting more of a fight, or some sort of annoying comeback. But the confusion is enough to subside his rage. The jant is over, with minimal damage. He drags over a chair and slumps by your bedside, once more running a hand through his hair. 

“You’re so reckless. Robber’s rarely pull stunts like that unarmed! You may have enhanced healing compared to a human, but you still die if someone stabs you! And this is your third ER trip this month!” He scolds and his tone is far gentler than before- not unlike how one might speak to a child, rather than someone a mere three years younger than him. You meekly bow your head, chastised. “How do you think auntie would feel if anything happened to you, (Y/N)? You may be a Guardian, but Guardians aren’t invincible. You, of all people, should know that.”

You flinch, feeling as though he’s slapped you. He’s clearly furious with you if he’s willing to choose such a sore spot to shame you. For the thirteen years you have been in the human realm, it has just been you and your mother. You have not been able to forget that fact for a single day. Every day you awaken afresh with the reminder that there is a third member to your family who should be there but is not. Your father’s life was lost as you all fled, and your mother had found herself widowed with a headstrong young child in a foreign and unfamiliar realm. Jin’s family have always been around to help because you haven’t exactly been an easy child to raise, but there are some burdens that no one can lift from a single parent.

 And you love your mother, and you really would do anything for your her. It’s just... you don’t want to pretend that you’re a human. For your entire time here, your guise as a human has felt like an itchy, poorly fitted jacket that you want to peel off and throw away. Humans are selfish and lazy and would leave a child on the side of the road and they’d been very quick to notice that you were different and target you for it- these are all things your father hated. To be human is to spit on the sacrifice he made for you... and yet to continue to fight it is also disregarding that he gave up his life to let you live in comfort. 

Jin, with his handsome face and ability to charm anyone he meets instantly, has never had an issue settling into the human realm, and so he’s never really understood why you cling so much to your former home realm. He knows that you’ve never truly stopped grieving the life of your father, but he cannot understand why you do not see the human world the way that he does. He had very much taken to being a human and enjoys all the perks that come with it- the technology, the fawning women, the interesting and unique cuisines... Jin adores human culture. And so, it irks him that you constantly seem to be sticking out like a sore thumb. 

“I’m sorry.” You say in a small voice and you’re so downcast that you miss the way that Jin’s face crumples with guilt. 

“Just... try to be safer in the future. This realm has its own law enforcement. We don’t need to be guardians here.” He tells you softly. Then he clears his throat awkwardly. “How was the job interview?”

It’s an act of mercy- he’s trying to save you any further misery by changing the subject. Unfortunately, you have yet to break the news to Jin; you bombed the interview. Massively. It’s not like it was even a job you were that invested in. Just a fulltime job that involved doing some admin in an office. The exact, safe, boring job your mother has dreamed of for you since coming here and the exact job Jin has been pushing you to apply for because he’s sick of his parents nagging him to lend you money or take you out for dinner or give you lifts because your car broke down and you can’t afford to fix it. But you messed it up and you hate yourself for it. Hate yourself for disappointing your mother, and, if you’re really honest with yourself, for disappointing Jin. You’re already so aware of how lowly he views you and this just makes it sting that little bit more.

But it is the exact kind of job that will slowly kill you inside. You are trying to kill the part of you deep down that longs for something more. You don’t even know what it is you want. But killing that part and settling into this world and its ways and its customs mean giving in. It means forgetting. And for thirteen entire years, you have not been able to forget. How can you, when you left a piece of yourself back there, on the battlefield where your father had lost his life for your sake? He was not even given the luxury of a grave and yet you are supposed to be comfortable and post pictures on Instagram about how happy you are and go to brunch and just enjoy life? You... you can’t do it.

“I... don’t know.” You finally say. You shrug and glance away. “It felt like it went well. We’ll see if they call me back.”

Jin visibly brightens, unaware of your lie. 

“I knew I had a good feeling about today!” He says warmly. “You’re totally going to get that job, I can feel it in my bones. Finally, my parents will get off my back!” He cheers. He probably means the last part as a joke but it’s just another sting; another reminder that Jin just sees you as a burden.

His celebration session is interrupted by an alert on his apple watch. He glances at whatever notification appear and winces. He glances at you like he’s done something wrong.

“I’ve got to go. I uh… I have a date.” He confesses. Jin is always tentative when he talks about the women he sees, like he’s anticipating some sort of reaction from you. You don’t know what reaction that would be, though, and you don’t think you’d ever feed his ego with any reaction other than a mild disgust and indifference. When you just continue to stare, he nods, more to himself than you. “I still have to sort all your paperwork to make sure you can get discharged so I probably can’t stay with you for your discharge. You don’t need a lift home, do you? I’ll probably have to drive straight there.”

Normally you would accept- though your broken bone heals faster than a human’s, it is still highly painful and inconvenient. But the thought of being in the car with Jin right now is highly unappealing. For some reason, lately when you spend time with Jin, you just feel more and more aware of how inadequate you are. You can’t help but notice the way people gravitate towards Jin. The way their eyes are constantly seeking him out or how a room brightens when he steps into it. And it’s not just his looks- it’s his everything. His demeanour, his smile, his success. He has taken to the human world like a fish to water and you just can’t. It’s not like you don’t want to. But his presence, his nagging, his constant disappointment with you… it’s a persistent, painful reminder of everything you can’t bring yourself to be. Not even for him, as much as you sincerely hate constantly disappointing him like this.

He adjusts his watch as you shake your head.

“I’ll just get the bus. I can still walk.” You say, plastering a smile on your face that hopefully seems sincere. Jin glares at you and reaches out to tap a finger against the firm plaster of your cast.

“Fine, but this stays on until tomorrow. I don’t care how fast you heal- I don’t want that leg healing crooked. Your mother will definitely notice if you suddenly have an extra bend in your shin. And no more chasing robbers- not even if it’s an old grandma with a cane being robbed. We stopped being Guardians for a reason.” He warns you. He adjusts his shirt cuffs and pulls out his phone to adjust his hair in the selfie camera before glaring at you. “I won’t tell Auntie about today because I don’t want her to worry. You can stay at mine tonight, so she doesn’t ask any questions when you hobble home in a cast.”

“Thanks.” You say and he’s oblivious to the bleak tone in your voice and the way your expression is downcast. If there’s one thing that has Jin oblivious to the rest of the world, it’s the prospect of a date. “Is the code to get in still the same?”

“I changed it to your birthday because that stupid pixie that always hangs around you worked out the code and keeps leaving my sugar open on the counter. I’m getting so many ants. I’m pretty sure he’s leaving it open for them.” Jin tells you already halfway turned around. You wisely choose not to tell Jin that you had told Jungkook the code to Jin’s apartment. Jin pauses before he can stride off. “Oh yeah. Auntie texted me- she wanted me to make sure you remember to come to dinner tomorrow and that you dress nicely. She has something important to say.”

“She could have just texted me herself.” You mumble, but Jin has already walked off, probably to sort the last of your paperwork before his date. A trail of sighing onlookers watch his departure. It just makes you scoff as you return to glaring at your cast. It itches.

You make a promise to yourself to use Jin’s kitchen scissors to remove it tomorrow so that he has at least some kind of inconvenience in his life. Nothing is more irritating than a blunt pair of kitchen scissors.

++++

Despite seeing Jin’s mother every other day, and renting the apartment directly across from her, your mother always acts like the president is coming over whenever Jin’s family comes for dinner. She pulls out the fancy glass bowls and the plates she bought with her first paycheck from the diner she was employed at when you were small. She vacuums the whole apartment and checks your room to make sure you’ve cleaned it in case Jin needs a bed to nap on after a long day at the hospital. 

She’s never quite managed to get the hang of human cuisine and since the human realm doesn’t hold the magic stores available to cook Guardian food the way that she learned, you are always the one to make dinner. You’ve never once complained because you know that on some level, this is your mother’s attempt to compensate. This is the closest you will ever get to having a community with other Guardians, and Jin’s dad is the closest thing you will ever have to a father. 

But even despite her usual frantic state whenever there’s a joint family dinner, she definitely seems more frazzled than usual. 

“Is it meant to smell like that?” She asks with a grimace, leaning in to look at the salad you’ve thrown some vinaigrette over. You glance over your shoulder from where you are checking on the food in the oven. 

“Yes, mum.” You say, standing and gently nudging her from the kitchen with a smile. “It’s vinaigrette- you liked it last time when I made it, remember? It’s why I made it tonight.” 

Your mother digs her heels into the ground before you can drive her from the kitchen and send her back to wiping the already sparkling cabinets in the living room. She turns to scrutinise you carefully. 

“Are you going to do your hair? It looks a little messy.” She frets. You raise an eyebrow. This is new. Your sweet, doting mother has never once criticised your appearance, not even when you went through that phase where you had an eyebrow piercing and dyed your hair neon green. Something is up. 

“It’s just Auntie and Uncle, right?” You say suspiciously. “They used to bathe me when we lived in magregnum, mum.” You say. Using the original term for your home realm feels foreign on your tongue and your mother’s expression shutters at the sound of her original home. 

“Well, a lot has changed since then.” She says softly. You’re about to question the strange, unfamiliar expression on your mother’s face. Something looks different about her... you squint when you recognise the shimmer of your favourite eye shadow on her lids. 

“Are you wearing makeup?” You question. Her eyes go wide, and you can’t help but notice that her lashes are curled. But her answer is interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. Your mother pales and instantly she switches back into her jittery, pre-dinner self. 

“Quickly, quickly!” She urges. “Dinner’s not ready yet!” 

You shake your head with a smile at your mother’s familiar antics. 

“It’s probably just Jin- Auntie and Uncle always make him come over earlier to help.” You call over your shoulder. You’re in a far better mood than you were yesterday, particularly after bending Jin’s kitchen scissors beyond repair during your attempts to remove the cast this morning before heading out and pretending you hadn’t been fired from your part-time job the week before. You had punched one of the senior managers for bullying the new hire. Your leg was mostly healed at that stage and Jin had told you that you could take the cast off before he left for work that morning. When you arrived back home in the afternoon, your mother had either chosen not to comment on your slight limp or had been too distracted by the stress of having dinner to notice. You are glad to have evaded her sad, disappointed eyes and the unwarranted comparisons to Jin for the day.  

After a long few moments of peace in the kitchen, you can’t help but notice the lack of an annoying presence hovering over your shoulder. Usually when Jin arrives, he makes a beeline straight for the kitchen so that he can sample whatever it is you’re making and proclaim it decent (and then try and sneak some extra portions later in the evening when he thinks you aren’t looking). The complete lack of Jin’s presence to do whatever the kitchen equivalent of back seat driving is has you pausing with a sense of unease. It is the first clue that something is up- the door opens and yet the older guardian doesn’t make an appearance. Confused, you pause midway through pouring out melted chocolate from a glass measuring cup and glance over your shoulder. 

“Minyo Dolkara,” is your mother’s tentative call and your eyes widen at the term of endearment. It is a common one back in your home realm, but your mother only uses it to comfort you when she feels you are truly upset. She is knotting her fingers anxiously together and beside her stands an unfamiliar middle-aged man. He smiles warmly at you, and your gaze lands on the arm he holds carefully around your mother’s shoulder. Your grip tightens around the handle of the measuring cup. 

“Mum?” You ask, your tone laced with confusion. “Who’s this?”

Your mother swallows nervously and glances at the man in question. 

“This is... my love.” She confesses. “Nigel. We met at my night classes and I... He...”

“I’m her fiancé.” The man, Nigel corrects. He is a friendly, round sort of man. The kind of man often seen on tv playing father to a rebellious teenage daughter in a sitcom. And his smile is warm and excited, like he’s happy to meet you. He directs that smile to your mother, and rather than look disgusted or uncomfortable, she merely beams back at him.

That’s probably what this night was for, in hindsight. And why your mother was so nervous. She planned this to introduce her new boyfriend... no, her new fiancé to you, and to Jin’s family. Dimly, in the back of your mind, you register all the unusual signs about tonight. The way she’d messaged Jin to make sure you were at the dinner despite the fact that she’s never been able to bring herself to make you do anything you don’t want to.... the way she’s been commenting on your appearance despite it never having bothered her before... how long has she kept this from you? How... how could she be seeing another man?

No words form in your mouth- instead, the face of your father hovers in your mind. After thirteen years, you can’t fully recall what he looks like and you weren’t able to bring any pictures over to the human realm with you. It has been long enough that you cannot recall his face or his voice. So, in theory, why can’t your mother meet someone new? Did you expect her to live as a widow until she died, alone and far from the home realm she grew up in? Of course, you didn’t. But for some reason, this man’s presence right now leaves a bitter sting like she’s plunged a knife into your chest.

The smile drops from Nigel’s face after a few moments of you staring blankly and his smile is replaced with concern. It takes you a while to understand it is because you have crushed the hand of the measuring cup in your tight grip. It falls to the ground and shatters, followed by a few drops of blood as red rapidly spreads over your clenched fist and lands on the ground. You haven’t used your enhanced strength in so long you almost forgot you had it. 

“Fiancé?” You echo at last and though it is your own voice, it sounds distant. Like your ears are suddenly submerged under water. You don’t know what hurts you more in that moment- the painful reminder that the world is moving on without your father... or the fact that your mum has kept such a huge secret from you for who knows how long, probably because she was scared of how you’d react. “You’re engaged?”

“(Y/N),” your mother says, taking a step forward, perhaps to comfort you. She does it tentatively, like you are a beast she needs to placate. The people in your life- at least the ones who know your true identity- often approach you like that. Slowly and hesitantly, as if they don’t know how you will react. Like you are a ticking time bomb, ready to go off and cause trouble. Which in a way, you suppose you are. Things have always been difficult with you, after all. You never settled into human schooling well and you didn’t get into a good university like Jin, and you’re always getting yourself into trouble trying to help random people off the street. And your mother, your poor placating mother, is prepared to do the same thing she always does. Apologise that you had to leave your home, that the new human world isn’t to your liking, but gently remind you that it is, in fact, your real home now.  

But you do not give her the chance to feed you the same tired lines. You’re so sick of hearing this lecture. Every time you wind up in hospital because you’ve interfered with a fight or been hit by a car trying to save a random puppy, Jin gives you the same, frustrated lecture. When you fail another interview or get fired from a new job, your mother is there to try and fail to hide her disappointment that you aren’t leading the life she’d planned for you. But not this time- this is too far. You’ve been trying to squash the part of you that is a guardian for their sake for so long now, but you cannot do it for him. For this man, this stranger, who has waltzed into your home like he owns it and announced that he’s marrying your mother. As if he has a right to just join your family. You are out the door before she or Nigel can offer a word of explanation. 

You don’t see Jin until you crash into him. He steadies you with a hand planted on either shoulder. You glance up at his face, barely registering what he looks like through the blur of tears spilling forward. For a brief moment, the sight of Jin’s face (even blurred) and the familiar set of his broad shoulders fills you with relief. Even if Jin’s always viewed you as a bit of pain, he’s always been an important person to you, always ready to provide support. But then you see the look on his face.

Jin actually winces when he sees your expression. Perhaps he is realising it’s going to be one of those nights, where he sits up on the roof with you for hours and comforts you as you spill your guts. That’s how it’s always been, after all, ever since you were a small child and would run to him when you scraped your knee instead of your own parents. You would cry and he would offer some wise words mixed in with a stern reprimand and then his parents would congratulate him for being such a good influence on you. Even when you hit high school and started to realise for the first time that Jin didn’t view you with the same adoration you viewed him, he never stopped being that person for you. The shoulder to cry on, the rock to lean on. But now, he stiffens, as if steeling himself for the explanation behind your tears and he probably already has a speech half prepared in his mind. That’s the job he delegated himself, after all. To look after you, for as long as you are alive and giving him headaches. So, if it’s always been his job to do just that, why does he look like he’s just been asked to help clean a public bathroom at the sight of you in distress? 

He... he doesn’t want to deal with you. That’s why he looks so uncomfortable. 

You feel something inside you crumple. You can’t identify what feeling it is but, in that moment, you realise something. Everyone in your life... they all view you as a burden. Your mum had delayed telling you about her boyfriend until the last possible moment because your response would be difficult to handle. Jin’s parents see you as a hopeless child that their perfect son must look after. And Jin.... well you can see from the look on his face how he views you. It reminds you of a dark day, all those years ago in high school, a memory you thought you’d pushed down, and it surfaces now, before you can push it back down like you normally do. But then you set your shoulders- you were over the things Jin had said that day, and you aren’t going to allow the way that he looks right now to be the thing that resurfaces those feelings.

You shove past him. Over the past few months, you’ve been avoiding Jin more and more as your self-esteem plummeted lower and lower but today something tips over the edge for you. You don’t know how or why it happened but at some point, Jin has stopped being the person you can turn to when things get rough. And you have just realised that he no longer wants to be that person either, which hurts far more than you ever thought it could. 

“(Y/N)!” You hear him call out to you, probably shocked that you aren’t caving immediately and telling him what’s wrong- after all, there’s probably only been one time in your life before this that you’ve done so. You ignore his call though, making a beeline for the staircase, and he does not follow you. 

The place you usually go to when misery strikes is the rooftop of your crappy apartment building. You’ve spent countless hours up on the rooftop, watching the sky. It’s oddly therapeutic- the thing you used to miss most when first moving to this realm was the stars. Back home, they sparkle different colours like precious stones scattered across black velvet. Here, the smog of humans blocks their stars from the sky. But the brightest stars are somewhat visible on clear nights and they are the closest reminder you have of home. That’s probably why you have chosen the roof as your refuge. Since beginning to take refuge here when things go bad, you’ve accumulated a small collection of old furniture from whenever your mum goes on a redecorating spree. 

What has resulted is a comfy little corner of the world you can call your own, away from everyone else. No one else seems to use this place, even if the rooftop is accessible to everyone in the complex, but that suits you just fine. It’s perfect for curling up and wallowing, much like you are desperate to do right now. There are a lot of confusing, painful emotions swirling around inside you, ones that you aren’t really sure how to deal with or process. 

You slump down against the old picnic blanket you have stretched across the floor and let your head collapse against an old cushion your mum threw out years ago and peer up at the sky. Wincing, you idly pick out pieces of glass from your hand and watch the skin seal over almost immediately as you wonder if the sky really as beautiful back home as your memory tells you it was. Or, do you just want to believe things were better in the other realm? You’re not really sure but it really would be nice to go back. Not forever- as much as you hate to admit it, your family is here now, which makes this realm your home. But you want to see the place you came from. You want to see the stars and the valleys and the rivers. The night before you and your mother fled, your father had told you that everything about Magregnum would change by the time you were old enough to go back, except the landscape. Mountains cannot move, after all. A part of you longs desperately for that- to see the things that will not change and the landscapes that could not leave your father behind. The only reminders that you aren’t just a random human washed up in the bleakness of life, but a guardian. Something special and precious. Something better than what you feel like you are.

An annoying buzzing in your ear breaks the bubble of your pondering. You blink a few times and then sigh, turning your head to the side. A small figure, no taller that the height of your handspan, stands beside you with his arms folded. Small, insect like wings flap so rapidly they are little more than flashes, catching the light of the fairy lights you’d strung across the fencing of the rooftop a few weeks ago. The figure tilts his small head to the side and at this proximity you can see the way he frowns. He always has the oddest tendency to pop up whenever you are alone and miserable and likely he is displeased to find you in such a state yet again.

“Do you ever do anything other than sulk?” The creature asks. He is a pixie, as you know from your first interaction where he had very indignantly informed you that no, he is not a cross between a mosquito and a human in-between your attempts to squash him with a fly swatter. You grimace. 

“No.” You snap, rolling onto your side to face away. Alas, the small pixie merely lifts easily into the air and sails over your face like he’s an Olympian performing high jump. He lands neatly in front of you once more and grins. 

“What happened this time?” He asks, settling down into the picnic blanket cross legged. He plants an elbow on either knee and rests his chin in his hands. The buzzing of his wings slows to a gentle flap, which allows you to discern the thin, silvery veins that lace across the delicate membranes of his wings. You’ve always secretly thought it a shame that Jungkook is just a pixie, given his handsome face and charming nature, but being a human would mean the loss of his gorgeous wings. “Did Jin ground you again?”

“He’s never grounded me before.” You snap defensively. “And even if he did, it’s not like I would listen to him. He’s not my parent.”

Jungkook shrugs, leaning back to press his weight into his hands and stretching his legs out in front of him. 

“Yes, you would.” He points out. “You always complain about Jin, but I know you always do what he says.” 

You purse your lips and sit up. Jin is one of the last people you want to talk about right now. Jungkook stands up too, launching himself into the air so that he can settle on your knee. 

“So what did Jin do this time? Change the code to his apartment again? Find out about your motorbike? Treat you to dinner?” Jungkook questions eagerly. You’ve never seen the pixie interact with another living being other than you, Jin or Taehyung (and on occasion your mother) and he had sadly informed you that he was the only one of his kind in this realm when you first met thirteen years ago. So, you have a theory that he lives out his need for drama and gossip and social interaction vicariously through you. It’s the only way to explain his constant interest in your life and the things that are making you sad. 

“It wasn’t Jin.” You finally admit, lifting your gaze once more to the sky above. “Why are you even here anyway? Did you run out of YouTube dance covers to copy?”

Jungkook nods and settles down beside you. “It’s all pointless after a while.” He says forlornly. “It’s not like humans can see me. Only guardians will ever see me dance and they don’t care. I figured I might as well talk to one sentient being before I go crazy. The moths just aren’t great conversation partners these days.” He pauses. “So, are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?”

Jungkook’s confession has your resolve crumbling. Sometimes it is easy to forget that you, Jin and Taehyung are the only people Jungkook can mix with, as a pixie in a human world. Even if humans could see him, the government would probably deport him back to the other realm the second it found out he was threatening exposure of magical beings to humans. A strange sadness on his behalf overcomes you and that is the thing that makes you willing to confess what’s bothering you. “It was... my mother.”

Jungkook is silent and when you glance down at where he is seated upon your knee, he is also gazing in wonder at the sky above. He doesn’t press further but you still somehow feel compelled to share. 

“She’s engaged.” You admit and the words feel oddly piercing amongst the soft hum of city traffic. They hang in the cool night air and suddenly the warmth of the night seems stifling rather than comfortable. 

“I thought the Q’uvar were happy when that sort of thing happened? Don’t you all have those huge festivities in your village whenever a marriage ceremony happens?” Jungkook questions. The natural way the original term for your people rolls off his tongue testifies to his origin- despite him living in the human realm, there is no doubt he comes from Magregnum, just as you do. Even when you were living in the other realm, your people would refer to themselves as guardians. Only the really old-fashioned members of your race would use the language that had slowly died out over the years as the common tongue became the norm. Not for the first time, you are curious about Jungkook and where he popped up from. Jungkook turns to look at you and tilts his tiny head. His inky black hair flops to one side with the motion. “Shouldn’t you be happy that your mother is engaged?”

The unintentional reprimand slaps you across the face and you wince. In theory, you should be thrilled that after so much difficulty and hardship settling into this realm, your mother has found a source of happiness. She has worked so hard on your behalf to make sure you grow up safe and secure in this foreign realm and so the least you can do to repay her is to be happy when she is happy. But the niggling fear that always chases you holds you back. It’s a fear of change- of the way life seems to move too fast for you to catch up. Here you are, stuck in the past when even your own mother has managed to move on and build a life for herself. 

“I should be.” You answer softly. You lift your knees and hug them close to your chest- Jungkook falls off with an indignant squawk. Moments later he rises in the air until he is eye level with you- even the buzz of his wings seems irritated. 

“Well then, why aren’t you?” He asks, but the tone of his voice implies that his patience has been lost with you. Since the moment of meeting you all those years ago, Jungkook had assigned himself as a sort of pseudo-counsellor and confidante, but it does not mean he enjoys the position. No, more often than not, he is annoyed and puzzled by your seemingly trivial problems. You kind of enjoy such an attitude though- it makes the things that feel insurmountable to you become small and insignificant. Jungkook makes you feel like problems can be overcome. This time, however, his dismissive attitude has you feeling worse. 

“Because I’m homesick.” You admit miserably. “Why does everyone seem to settle in here so well? Why am I the only one struggling? Why could everyone leave things behind so easily? How can they just pretend that they’re humans, and completely ignore the fact that they are Guardians?”

You press the palms of your hands against your eyes and release a long exhale. No one has followed you up here, after you rushed out like that. Who even knows what state your mother’s dinner is in? Hopefully she remembered to get everything out of the oven. Are they having fun without you? Is Nigel charming them, winning them over, getting them excited about the possibility of a wedding? Are they… are they really happy, in this realm? “Do you ever think about going back?” You question, after a long moment of silence. You drop your hands from your eyes.

“Sometimes.” Jungkook admits. “I wonder what it looks like now. Taehyung says it’s largely the same, it’s just the cultures and people that change.” 

You stare out across the ugly concrete buildings that the rooftop view provides you. In this realm, everything moves fast and changes quickly. In the blink of an eye, a new building can pop up down the road or an entire family can move away from their twenty-year-old restaurant and close it without any warning. Back home, you remember things being steady and unchanging. Every morning, you would rise to the same mountain ranges, to the same fringe of forest, to the same river song. The only guardian you know who has gone back is Taehyung, and he validates that impression- forests and mountains do not change. 

“I wish I had half Taehyung’s courage. I want to go back.” You confess.

Jungkook hugs his knees into his chest and mirrors your position beside you. 

“What would it achieve?” Jungkook asks curiously. You shrug, picking idly at a stray thread on your jeans. 

“Hopefully something.” You say. “I feel like I’ll never know what could happen if I don’t take the risk. I just… I feel like it’s calling me. It doesn’t want me to forget what I am. This realm doesn’t suit me because this isn’t my realm. Maybe I’ll find a place that fits over there.”

Jungkook nods sagely. A moth flaps past him and he smiles at it as it goes past.

“And what would you do once you’re there?” He questions. It does not take you long to give an answer. You’ve had this adventure mapped out in your mind since you were a miserable, homesick eleven-year-old.

“My dad used to have this phrase. “The river loves those who take the plunge.”. He’d always say it in the old tongue, and apparently it was an old guardian phrase that meant sometimes taking the risk was worth it. But apparently the phrase comes from a river to the east of our home. Dad said that the river is home to a special migrating plant, and it lights up and looks like shooting stars. They call it ‘the dancing river’. He promised to take me there, one day when the war was over.” You explain. “If rivers and mountains don’t change… then that’s that last piece of him I can find in that realm.”

“And that’s what you want to see, if you go back?” Jungkook asks. You nod and shift your position to the side of some old drawers you had rescued from your mother’s bedroom. Inside are a bunch of wrinkled old papers that you pull out and show him. 

“Taehyung always brings me back a map whenever he gets back from over there to show me how things have changed. Look.” You point at a small blue line that trickles across the painted landscape of the map. The label is written in the common tongue. “River of stars” it says in sleek cursive. You know from matching it up with an older map that the name has changed but it’s the same river your father told you about. “It’s only a five-day hike from the portal.” You point at a small mark on the map- this has Taehyung’s writing scribbled on it, marking the join between the human realm and the magical one. “I could go and just... get it out of my system. See the river. Like a road trip but in another realm.” 

Jungkook flutters over to peer at the small distance between the river in question and the portal on the map. 

“I just have to go once. Just once. And see it- see the places he loved. And then I’ll settle into this realm and get the boring job Jin and my mother want me to have and marry an equally boring human. I’ll go to her wedding and watch her pretend like my dad never existed and like I’m not a Guardian.” You tell him. “I... we didn’t even get to say good-bye, Jungkook.” 

Your voice cracks and Jungkook glances up at you in surprise. You rarely open up about your father to the pixie but he’s always curious when you do, like you’re sharing the story of an ancient war hero. Which in a way, he is. Though the war is fresh and recent in your mind, over a thousand years have passed back home, since your people roamed freely there.

“We just got word that he was dead, and we had to go, or we would be too.” You tell him, recalling the way Jin’s father had woken you two up in the middle of the night, pale as a ghost and drenched in your father’s blood. You remember running a lot that night and clinging to your mother’s hand. You had tripped and scraped your knee and you hadn’t been able to cry. And when you reached the human realm, your mother had shed a single tear and then shouldered on into your new life. No time or space to grieve. Not when there was so much uncertainty ahead. “No funeral or anything. I just... I want proof, that he was alive. I want to see the places he saw and just... I want to get a chance to say goodbye. I never even got to tell him that I love him one last time.”

Jungkook holds a hand to his chin as he ponders your words and then he looks at you. Though he is small, you can make out the dark colour of his eyes. His expression is soft and gentle. It reminds you of the look Jin used to give you when you’d come up here because the kids had made a mean comment about you not understanding their weird meme jokes or you were sad because you’d seen a kid hanging out with his father. Back before Jin had lost his patience with you, when he just got that the reason you couldn’t settle in was because of the cost it took to get to this realm safely. 

“You know it wouldn’t bring him back, right?” Jungkook asks softly. “Everything you knew about that realm faded thousands of years ago. You won’t find home there anymore than it is here. And it won’t stop your mother from getting married.”

“I know.” You answer forlornly. “But maybe things will be better if I just get to… acknowledge what I am. Even if it’s only for five days.” Jungkook stares for a long moment and then nods, his shoulders set with sudden determination. 

“Then let’s go.” He announces. You blink in surprise at his proposition. 

“Go?” You echo. He nods and straightens, planting on hand on his hip and pointing the other directly at you. 

“I am the first person to point out that you’re spoiled and selfish.” Jungkook reminds you, which has you wincing. “You don’t even know how lucky you are, to have so many people who love you. Do you know what I would give to be human? To have a friends and family like you do? And every day you spit on it. If this is what it takes for you to finally be content, then do it.” 

You frown and look away from him. 

“I don’t want to go when you put it like that.” You say, resenting the slight way your voice wobbles with hurt. You feel the slight tickle to your cheek and find Jungkook has pressed his tiny hand comfortingly to the side of your face. 

“Don’t be hurt.” He says softly. “I do know why you’re struggling.” He offers you as comfort. “And I do understand why it’s so hard. To live amongst humans every day and pretend like none of the terrible things that went down over there really happened. But in focusing on the things you’re missing, you’re missing out on the things you have.” He explains. “So, let’s go, (Y/N). Let’s go see the Dancing River and find the peace you’re looking for.”

You stare at Jungkook for a long time, before offering the slightest nod. He’s right. What’s the use of waiting and hoping and holding out for something? Why not just go and find out if seeing this river will solve any of your problems? The river loves those who take the plunge, after all.

“Let’s go, Jungkook.” You agree, with the faint hint of a smile on your face.

What you don’t see, as you converse with Jungkook, is Jin slowly closing the door to the rooftop, first aid kit in hand. He gives one last glance at the doorway, wondering if he should join you and Jungkook before shaking his head with a sigh. He turns around and makes the slow trek back downstairs with a troubled expression on his face.

[thekitsune]

MikaSasha Week Day 8 - Wedding/Future

And my submission for today! Okay a quick note, this submission is a continuation to my submission for yesterday’s prompt that I just uploaded. Please read it first so you can understand some of the references in this.

Also, there are a few characters in this that I plan on drawing, but I ran out of time thanks to work. So, I will try to draw them and have them up tomorrow. Sorry, they were suppose to be the extra bonus submission for today :( I really wanted to end the week off with posting them. I hope you all will be okay with waiting until tomorrow to see them.

"Mama! Mama! Mommy wanted me to come get you!" a young brunette girl shouted as she ran over to an older woman in her late 20s or early 30s. The girl was a small four year-old with long brown hair and large, bright blue eyes. She was wearing a simple white dress with the stitching of some kind of potato character on the front. The older woman smiled as she bent down to catch her daughter and lift her up in her arms. Who was this woman, she was Mikasa Blouse, proud wife of Sasha Blouse, and even prouder mother of three. One such girl was this bundle of joy, Mina Blouse. Named after her and her wife's friend who sadly passed away back in the day. She was surprised when Sasha suggested the name, but she was more than happy to honor their friend like that.

"Mina, honey, what did I say about running outside barefooted?" Mikasa asked her daughter who looked away shyly.

"That my feet will get dirtsy," Mina muttered while looking away like she was caught stealing one of her mommy's snacks. Mikasa smiled before planting a kiss on her daughter's forehead.

"Mommy will let you get away with this just once, but be more careful in the future," Mikasa told her before tickling her stomach making her giggle. Walking back to their house, a nice sized house near Sasha's family's ranch, Mikasa smiled as she saw her son trying to get one of their horses to listen to him. The horse though decided to whack him in the face with its tail before trotting off. The boy sat on the ground with a pout before smiling as he spotted his younger sister and mother.

"Mom! Mina, you little pipsqueak where did you run off to? Mama wanted me to look for you," he stated which caused Mina to pout before sticking her tongue out and making a face at him. The boy was Nico Blouse, Sasha and Mikasa's only son. Named after family friend, Niccolo. Mikasa wasn't too happy when Sasha suggested the name, (Sasha liked the name, but she didn't want it to be exactly the same so she shortened it. Mikasa...was jealous and thought Sasha secretly had feelings for him until Sasha whacked her in the back of the head and told her to cut it out. Her heart only belonged to Mikasa) but over time she grew to love it. (However, Mikasa always told Nico to never call Niccolo, 'Uncle Niccolo,' totally not because she was still jealous of how much Sasha loved his food, but because...well she was still thinking of why)

Nico had short black hair and a small scar on his cheek from a wolf that had attacked him when he was younger. Sasha had managed to save him from taking too much damage before Mikasa rushed in to kill it. After making sure Sasha hadn't pushed herself too hard as well as didn't get hurt too bad, the two took Nico back home and checked him for injuries while also calming him down. The boy was shaken, but he was inspired to become a great hunter like his mama was before her injury.

"If mama wanted you to find your younger sister, honey, why were you playing with the horse?" Mikasa asked her son who froze before looking away, "Honey?"

"I...I...I'll go tell Mama that you found Mina, Mom!" Nico shouted before turning and running away as quickly as he could. Mikasa sighed before continuing on her trek back to the house. Mina happily nuzzled into the crook of her neck as she continued to the house.

"Kaa-san?" Mikasa stopped once more and looked over. A girl who looked to be the spitting image of her as a child stood there in front of the door. The only difference between the two was the fact that she had a streak of brown hair going down her long black hair and she had golden-brown eyes. She wore overalls, a white long sleeved shirt, and red boots along with a pair of work gloves.

"Yes Yumi?" Mikasa asked her eldest daughter. Yumi Blouse, named after Mikasa's deceased mother, the girl was hard-working and helped out with all the chores at the house along with her grandparent's house. While she didn't want to grow up to be a hunter or farmer, she was more than happy to help her family. She was their first bundle of joy, and she made sure to be a responsible older sister for her younger siblings. She was the only child to inherit Mikasa's Japanese ancestry and has embraced it even more than her Kaa-san going so far as to use terms they learned from their Japanese allies back in the day as well as sewing Japanese clothes and making Japanese cuisine, much to her Mom's joy.

"Mom said that she had something special planned for you so I'll take Mina with me. Armin-ojisan and Annie-obachan are going to take us out to shop while Nico is going to continue his cooking training with Niccolo-san," Yumi told her Kaa-san while taking off her gloves, revealing the Ackerman symbol on the back of her right hand. Mikasa looked over at the house with wonder, curious at what Sasha had planned, before handing Mina to her eldest child. Mina nuzzled her older sister while cheering about getting to spend time with 'Uncie Armin and Auntie Annie.'

After making sure that Yumi and Mina headed down the right, and safe, path to Armin's and Annie's house, Mikasa continued on into the house. Opening the door, she was surprised to see her beautiful wife, Sasha Blouse, standing in front of a large feast while wearing her more festive clothes. "Happy Anniversary, Mika," Sasha simply stated causing Mikasa's eyes to water lightly before she moved forward and embraced her wife.

She never would have thought that things would turn up this way all of those years ago when she first began training to fight Titans. She had always planned to just protect Eren and be there for him and Armin for the rest of their lives, but then she met this girl, this wonderful, kind, beautiful girl who made her want to dream about more. Wanted her to wish for more. She began bonding with this girl, she began caring more and more with this girl, she began loving this girl, and for once, she didn't think about only protecting Eren and Armin until her eventual death, she began thinking and dreaming about a happy life with this beautiful girl.

Then a mere ten years ago, she nearly lost the love of her life by a gunshot. Through a miracle, she managed to pull through, but not unscathed. No longer able to help them in the war, hunt, or work on the ranch, Sasha was confined to doing simple and easy tasks that wouldn't put too much stress on her heart. After the end of the war, the world entered a more peaceful era which finally allowed the two to marry each other. And then a year and a half later, they were graced with their first child. A year later, they were graced with their second. And three years later, they were graced with their third bundle of joy. Their children brought them an even greater joy and made their lives even better.

Walking over to her wife, she gently kissed her before pulling her close, "Happy Anniversary, Sasha. I'm sorry I didn't remember." Sasha just giggled before kissing her back.

"It's fine honey, I know you're busy with the work around the house. I wish I could be more help, but I'm happy that I can at least cook for us and help with the kids," Sasha told Mikasa who pouted before picking her wife up bridal style and kissing her again.

"Do not feel bad about not being able to help with the hard work. You can't help your injury. I will work as hard as possible if it means that you will continue living long and healthy," Mikasa reassured her wife while spinning around to the dinner that Sasha cooked, "Now then, why don't we enjoy this so we can move on and have some fun before the kids come back."

Blushing bright red, Sasha chuckled as she lightly punched Mikasa's shoulder. "You sly dog, you. Are you trying to seduce me?" Sasha teased her wife who just leaned in and replied with a husky voice, "Depends, is it working?"

Feeling her blush deepen, Sasha buried her face in Mikasa's shoulder while Mikasa just chuckled and continued to the dinner.

Yeah, they earned this peace and happiness. And she was happy to keep it for as long as possible.

[kari-a-la-tari]

The (Unneccessary) Lore of the WG Spanish Dubs

Aka me being like this meme for an entire post

OKAY so a couple of weeks ago I had just learned that there existed a Spanish version of Wordgirl called “La Chica Supersabia” which is honestly super cool cause who doesn’t wanna hear their show in a different language?

But alas, this ended up taking me into a much deeper rabbit hole than I was expecting and it’s honestly pretty interesting so I thought I’d share it with y’all!

DISCLAIMER: I am not an expert by any means nor do I intend to come off as one, this is simply an elaborate essay of what I’ve found through my informal research. I will also be translating anything in Spanish to the best of my extent, so I apologize if I mess up a bit with the wording since it’s not my native language.

So then *places a baseball cap with glued lightbulb on my head* let’s get started shall we?

Okay so first things first, there are a couple of select episodes of La Chica Supersabia (I’ll use LCS from here on) available on the internet. The most reliable source that I’ve found is on an old Facebook account here where a fan would upload LCS episodes based on when they aired. However, the only episodes available are a select few from season one.

Now this got my mind thinking “Hey, what if there’s more episodes?” So naturally, I started scoundering on Google (like the rat I am) to see if there was indeed more. And according to this one site there are only two seasons of LCS that were dubbed.

Translation: In Latin America, the first season premiered on Discovery Kids August 3, 2009, while the second season premiered on the same channel January 11, 2010, being the only two seasons issued. (Source)

However, later on I discovered that there was some mislead in that info because someone else found a Spanish episode that was from season 3, which doesn’t make sense because why would there be another season available when it clearly says that they technically shouldn’t exist? (Btw I tried finding it myself cause I did see that episode before but for some reason now I can’t find it dhdvvdbdvd 😭)

At first I thought maybe this is just some info added from a fan. After all, that statement was posted on a Spanish Wikipedia page so it is possible. So I began looking for other articles that talked about the Spanish dubs, but they all said the same thing. Well, until I came up with this site that said two very intriguing things:

Translation: The series actually had 3 seasons and is dubbed in Caracas, Venezuela. On May 2012 the series stopped running on daytime hours and was removed from the programming one year later, on June 17, 2012. It is unknowns if it will be aired by another channel or come back to the Discovery Kids programming, besides only the two first seasons were dubbed in Spanish. (Source)

I was a little bit confused here with the wording because it still didn’t confirm my original questions; if anything it left me with more. But then I read the next section below which got me completely off track.

Translation: The series received negative critics and complains on behalf of parents of families in Latin America that claimed that it wasn’t appropriate for the objective public of Discovery Kids. Without doubt in the U.S. the series had been well received and even won an Emmy award for Jack D. Ferraiola, writer and coproductor of the series together with the creator of the same show, Dorothea Gillim, who declared the following in respective to the series: (Source)

Now this one took me by a whirlwind: WTH why was this version hated by people in Latin America while it’s adored by everyone in the U.S.?? And I watched some episodes of LCS and while the dubbing is pretty funny (lol) there wasn’t anything inappropriate about it. For the most part they stuck on script with the original episode they had to dub.

So I dove even deeper...

And o h m y g o d there is an answer to this.

Translation: The program premiered in Latin America on August 2009 on the Discover Kids channel, aiming at pre schoolers. Although the channel gave a lot of promotion for the show during the final months of 2009 and the majority of 2010, at the end of the year they decided to change the programming to nighttime hours because the show received a lot of critics from parents saying that the show was too “violent” and that it encouraged kids to lie to their parents (due to the obvious fact that Becky had to give an excuse everytime she had to leave to turn into WordGirl and save the day), and they complained constantly on the message boards now deleted of the channel. The program was eliminated completely on June 2012, without doubt, PBS maintained the Spanish dubs so that they would use for SAP (Second Audio Program) in the U.S. in a different studio (Dubbing House in Mexico and later Lorry Post in Miami, FL), but the program no longer returned to Discovery Kids until August 2014. (Source)

And DUDE no y’all this was just a complete hilarious yet ridiculous slap to the face. I mean..what the, why was that the reasoning as to why it was hated so much? Just cause of some literal PG kid friendly cartoon violence? And what do parents mean when they say it teaches them to lie to their parents?? I mean with all due respect, who was Discovery Kids target audience they had in mind vs. what it actually was? Because if there actual audience was very very young kids, they okay sure I can understand the need to point fingers at them in that sense. But if it was for slightly older kids (8-10 years old), then I think that parents can probably show kids at that age the reasoning behind why Becky lied in the show (not to mention that most kids at that age can understand what’s going on for the most part).

“Now is this actually true?” some of you may ask, which is understandable since this is coming from a wiki page. Well, I think it’s about time I put another disclaimer: sadly for the most part, the majority of these sources that I’ve attached have broken links when it comes to their references. And the ones that aren’t broken don’t mention anything about the topics that have been discussed here. But there are some smaller sources I’ve found here (look at the last three comments) and here that do indeed confirm that the show was canceled due to the force of parents.

However, the current grey area I’m in still is on the Spanish dubbing listing. See, I originally thought that there were three different dubbings according to this one post below (M&M Studios, Dubbing House and Lorry Post). I even thought I cracked it since according to this chart below the rest of the seasons were under the Dubbing House studios! However, it turns out that one of the studios Lorry Post doesn’t actually exist. Like nothing related to dubbing came up at all when I searched it up.

Translation: Dubbing Studio 1 - M&M Studios (Seasons 1-2). Dubbing Studio 2 - Dubbing House (Seasons 3-8). Dubbing Studio 3 - Lorry Post (Season 8 - final episodes). (Source)

And then that’s when I took a harder look at this website and realized that it’s part of a Spanish Wiki page called “Propuestas de Fans de Doblaje” (Fan Proposals for Dubs). *insert facepalm emoji* And just...I honestly feel so dumb that I didn’t notice that detail when I did my initial research cause that would’ve saved me a lot of time 😤. Anywho so that explains the Lorry Post mystery, but then lies the other question: do the other dubs exist?

Well, this is where I draw the line. See, on that same wikipage, it mentions that LCS had completely different voice actors for each of the dubbings. The first dub (M&M) is from Venezuela and after looking at the VA’s, they can be traced back to LCS. But after looking at the VA’s for the second dub (Dubbing House) in Mexico, there is nothing related to them and LCS or WG. Not even on movie databases.

“Now are you gonna give up on this idea?” you may ask. And the answer is......

No.

Why? Well, it’s mainly because there is a compellingly set of evidence that proves that the first two dubs do actually exist, which is...

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THIS VIDEO, which shows that there were not one, but two variations of the LCS Spanish theme song. The first one is the Spanish version, and the second one that plays is the Venezuela version. And if you can remember, there were 2 dubbings of LCS; one located in Mexico (Dubbing House) and another In Venezuela (M&M Studios)!

Anywhosole, that is where I conclude this elaborate essay of mine. There are still a couple of loose strings here and there that I wanna check out myself but I’ve already tired myself out with this essay. I hoped you liked seeing me lose my mind speculate on the LCS episodes! This was honestly pretty fun ngl, maybe I’ll try doing this again in the future if something else interesting pops up! If you have anything you wanna add or maybe point out something that I may have forgotten, please by all means bring it up!

[sheerbeautyreigns]

DESIRE

Part 79 (Last Chapter)

I'm considering uploading the whole story onto Wattpad or another fiction site (recommendations welcome). There are actually 128 chapters but I condensed them down for posting on here.

Thanks to everyone who followed it and I hope you liked it! Thinking about what to write next 🤔

Hey,” Paul greeted with a small smile. He was wearing his charcoal suit pants and a white shirt. “You look great.” He told Joe, who was wearing a grey suit and a black shirt. Not his usual colours but they really suited him. “Thanks.” Joe gave a smile while he walked into the suite. It must’ve been one of the best suites in the hotel. “Where’s Andrew.”

“He’ll be here soon. Now tonight, you follow my lead. As far as he’s concerned, we’re still together. Understand?” Joe nodded. Paul went to the bar and poured him a glass of bourbon on the rocks. “This ought to loosen you up a bit.” Joe took the glass from him. At that moment, there was a knock at the door. “That’s him.” Paul went to answer while Joe distracted himself with the night time view outside and then returned to the seating area.

“Hey Joe.” Andrew smiled. He was dressed in a dark blue suit and white shirt. He pulled him in and kissed him on the cheek. “Hey, good to see you again.” Paul handed him a glass of wine. Both Paul and Andrew lowered to the sofa, with Joe sat in between them. As before, Paul kept his hand on Joe’s thigh while they spoke. “Baby, why don’t you start getting undressed. Make yourself comfortable in the bedroom. I’ll be in with you soon.”

Joe obeyed, setting his glass down on the coffee table. He felt sick with nerves as he undressed. He noticed that there were already black leather restraints on each corner of the bed. His stomach dropped. Before he could move, Paul arrived on the bedroom closing the door discreetly behind him. There was something different about being naked in front of Paul now that they were no longer together. He could feel his eyes tracing over every inch of his skin. “I’ve missed this sight.” He cooed, growing closer to Joe. “Now, as you know, Andrew has a dominant streak. He wants to play with you tonight. Just go with it. I’ll be in the living room. You’ll be fine.” He edged in and kissed Joe softly. Before Joe could reciprocate, Paul was moving him towards the bed. “Now, on your stomach.” Joe hesitated, looking up at Paul. “I don’t want to.”

“This is not the time. Now, come on. Do as I say.” Joe knew he wouldn’t get out of this situation easily. “Paul please. I don’t-“ In that instant, the older man grabbed him by the throat. “Now listen here. You fuck this up for me tonight and I’ll not hesitate to fire Drew. Do you understand?”

“Yes. Yes Sir.” Joe coughed as Paul let him go. The young man quickly lay on his stomach, assuming the position as Paul went about restraining him. “You’ll need something to bite down on considering how hard you’re gonna be fucked tonight.” Joe was filled with overwhelming dread as Paul forced a ball gag in his reluctant mouth and buckled it at the back of his head. He then went about undoing his man bun and tousled his hair down his back. “He likes your hair down.”

Paul slid his hand down over the goosebumps that covered Joe’s back and slapped his ass hard. The young man winced. Paul opened the door. “He’s waiting for you.” He told Andrew. “What a view.” He came into the bedroom, already stripped off. “Paul, you’re too good to me.” He flirted, climbing up on the bed. “You two have fun.” Joe was left alone with him now that the door had been closed. Andrew moaned, running his hands over Joe’s buttocks. “I’ve been waiting for this since we last fucked Joe. Haven’t stopped thinking about it.” He said seductively. He reached over to the bedside cabinet for the bottle of lubricant and dripped it onto Joe’s opening.

He prepared his entrance and went about entering him. It had been about a month since he was last fucked. In fact, Andrew was the last person to fuck him. This realisation came to Joe’s mind as he winced, breathing deeply, trying to relax. “Shhh, it’s OK. I’m almost in. You weren’t crying the last time I was fucking you.” He smirked, burying his cock in Joe’s ass and starting to grind into him. The young man moaned and groaned into the gag as Andrew started to fuck him.

In the living room area, Paul could hear the combination of Andrew’s fucking and Joe’s cries. Part of him wanted to go in and stop it but he wanted Joe to pay. He could never get over him cheating on him again with Drew. He could hear Andrew cumming so Paul started to undress. The noise in the bedroom died down and the door opened moments after. “Christ man, you are one lucky son of a bitch.” Andrew proclaimed with a smile before Paul pulled him into a kiss, squeezing his ass. “Don’t I know it.” While Andrew went into the bathroom, Paul went to check in on Joe. “Now that wasn’t so bad.” He smirked, climbing up onto the bed. Joe’s opening was still gaping. He undid the gag and set it on the bedside. Joe didn’t want to look at him. “So it’s gonna be like that?”

“Fuck you, just get this over and done with.” Joe seethed. Paul was taken aback from his response. He scowled as he positioned himself in between Joe’s legs and forced his cock into the gaping hole. Joe gasped aloud, straining against his bonds. He shut his eyes hard and pursed his lips, breathing heavily as Paul fucked him. “Good boy. Gooood boy.” He encouraged as Andrew took a seat and watched from Paul’s left.

Joe kept his eyes closed the whole time he was being fucked, trying to block out this humiliation. Never did he imagine that Paul could do this to him. When he was finished, he leaned down and whispered into Joe’s ear. He could already see that he must be in pain now, judging how red his opening was. “That’s it for now. You can leave after Andrew so go and clean yourself up in the meantime.” He let Joe limp into the ensuite. There, the young man burst into tears as soon as the door was closed. He turned the shower on in the cool setting and lowered to the ground, letting himself get soaked. He felt disgusted with not only Paul, but also with himself for letting this happen. He couldn’t believe Paul would stoop so low as to threaten to fire Drew if he didn’t comply.

He told himself just to go with it tonight and then that would be it. After a while, there was a knock on the door. Joe knew it was Paul. He turned off the spray and unlocked the door. Paul was now wearing a dark blue robe. As he closed the door behind him, Joe edged towards the sink area. “It’s OK.” The older man raised his hands. “Andrew’s just left.” Knowing that it was just him and Paul now, tears sprung to Joe’s eyes. Paul approached him but Joe turned away from him. “Please don’t.” He looked shaken.

Paul kept his distance. “I’m not gonna hurt you. I promise. Just, let me see you.” Reluctantly, Joe looked over his shoulder. His eyes looked so red from crying. “Is this it now?” Joe asked. “Yeah, it is. You can go.” It pained Paul to say those words but this time, it was over. “I can’t let anyone see me like this.”

“Take your time. There’s no rush.” Paul eyed a white robe hung up by the shower. He took it down “Here, put this on.” Joe nodded and slipped into it. He then splashed some water in his face to try to revive his eyes. Paul stepped out of the ensuite as Joe was patting his face dry. He walked over to the window and took in the view of the city and the hustle and bustle on the streets below. His mind traced back to the last time they stayed in New York. The time he took Joe to Michael’s and how things were never the same since.

He cursed himself for bringing Michael into the fold. He had ruined Joe and he would probably never be the same again. As much as he still loved him, Paul had to let him go. It could never work for them. In the midst of his thoughts, he saw the reflection of Joe coming out of the ensuite. He turned to check on him. He looked like he’d been crying again. He looked lost. Paul approached him slowly. “Why don’t you sit down. I’ll pour you a drink.”

He poured him another glass of bourbon on the rocks. Joe cradled the glass in his hands before drinking it as Paul watched from the mini bar area. Hesitantly, he sat close to him on the sofa. “I guess now we’re even?” Joe asked, breaking the silence. After everything he’d put Joe through, he had to agree. “We had some good times.”

Joe nodded, finishing off the last of his drink before rising to his feet. “Thanks for that.” He then went into the bedroom slowly and threw off his robe. Paul appeared in the door frame as Joe was slipping into his boxers. The young man paused, looking at him.

“You’re leaving?” He sounded disappointed. “It’s late. I doubt anyone will see me.” Paul nodded and continued to watch as Joe got dressed until he returned to the living room again, lowering to the end of the sofa. His hands fidgeted with the material on the arm. Joe came out of the bedroom and slowed at the back of the sofa. He looked down at the back of Paul’s head. It was like he wanted to say something but instead he went for the door. He placed his hand on the handle and impulsively looked back at Paul once more. He now had his head rested in his right hand, looking down on the ground. An awful feeling hit the pit of Joe’s stomach before Joe opened the door and finally left the room.

It was the first night of Wrestlemania in Tampa when they next saw eachother. The backstage area was busy and everyone was getting ready to assume their positions on stage with the McMahon family. Paul eyed Joe as he stood next to Vince, out front. An overwhelming sense of pride filled him when he saw how good Joe looked. He had been working so hard on himself since they last saw each other.

Across the backstage area, their eyes finally met. “You look real good.” He told him when he got him alone. “I’ve been trying to distract myself.” Joe confessed. “I know. I know. Have you…been seeing anyone.” The older man asked, out of curiosity. “Yeah. I needed to move on.” Paul’s heart sank at these words. “Of course…Well, it’s good to see you looking happy, healthy…guess I’ll see you around.” Paul gently grasped his bicep before walking away. As he watched him, Colby appeared. “What was that all about?”

“Nothing babe. Just weird seeing him again.” Joe lowered his head. “Does he know about us?” Colby asked, looking at him. “No. I don’t think so.” Joe kept his eyes on Paul as he moved further away. Every now and then, their eyes would meet. “I need to get ready for my match.” Colby interrupted his thoughts. “OK babe. I’ll be watching.” Joe hugged him and watched him leave. A few moments later, Joe’s phone rang. It was Paul. He was nowhere to be seen. “Hello?”

“Can I see you for a moment. In private?” Paul asked. A strange feeling hit the base of Joe’s stomach. He hadn’t felt this feeling in a while. “OK. Where are you?”

“I have a private box upstairs. It’s box B, on the right when you get to the top of the stairs.” Paul instructed. “OK, I’ll see you soon.” Paul paced the room, occasionally stopping to look out at the great view of Raymond James Stadium. A firm knock indicated that Joe had arrived. Paul answered the door and looked him over as he entered. He looked a bit bigger than before. He’d been hitting the gym, hard. “Look at this view.”

“I thought you might like it.” Paul smiled. “Drink?” Joe hesitated for a moment but obliged. “Sure.” He took a seat on the plush, black leather sofa, taking in the view. Paul handed him the glass and sat a few feet away. “To…a five time main eventer.” Paul toasted “Five Star General.” Joe concluded as their glasses clinked.

“You know I don’t like to beat around the bush so I’m just gonna come out and say it. I miss you.” He wasn’t lying. “Paul, I told you. I’m with someone.”

“Hasn’t stopped you before.” He was right. “OK. Maybe I deserved that one.” Paul took a sip of his wine. “So…who’s the lucky guy, huh?” Joe eyed him as he took a mouthful. “Why do you wanna know?”

“I’m just interested. I’m guessing it’s either Drew…or Seth. It was always between those two for you wasn’t it?” Joe looked down and smiled a little “Why do you care? You finished things in January. You can’t expect me to wait around for you to change your mind. I’ve moved on.”

“I don’t think you have. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here now. You’d be with lover boy.” At that moment, Colby’s music hit and the crowd went wild. Joe stood and looked out for him. Paul rose and followed his gaze. “It’s Colby. Isn’t it.”

“So what if it is? He makes me happy.” Paul looked out at Colby as he made his entrance. “Didn’t I make you happy?” Paul asked lowly. “You hurt me.”

“Wasn’t that what you wanted? The masochistic side of you?” Paul said smoothly. “I bet you don’t get that with Colby. I know his tendencies.” Joe looked out at the ring where his lover stood, limbering up for his match. “It’s not all about that anymore. I just want to be happy…and I am.” Joe looked him dead in the eye before turning to leave, “It won’t last.” Paul warned causing Joe to turn on his heel. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I think you know exactly what that means. You know you’ll be back. You know this is where you belong.” Paul knew all too well. Despite their short time together, they had been through so much together. “Go fuck yourself Paul.” And that was it, Joe was gone. For good this time.

[an0nymousghost]

simblr asks v2

here are my answers! find the questions here.

i wrote soo much ahaha. like however much you think i wrote, i wrote more than that. imo everything i write is gold though

1. are you going to buy the new pack (cottage living) when it comes out? no, it looks really nice but i legit never ever buy packs at launch, especially cause this one is a expansion and it will probably go on sale at some point

2. do you p*rate your dlc or buy it legitimately? buy it legitimately 👌

3. what’s your favorite world? brindleton bay, it gives like seaside cottage vibes. willow creek is good but it’s boring. 

4. if you use a queue, how many posts per day do you set it as? 3 or 4. i used to do like 12 lmaoo what even was wrong with me

5. do you watch sims on youtube? yes, i watch mainly malixa, oshinsims, and msgryphi

6. what are your thoughts on the most recent pack? (dream home decorator) those sectional couches look good! but honestly im kinda annoyed because now it’s even harder to have all the items filled in when i place lots from the gallery. like i’m just saying like a lot of builds will use that pack probably and if i don’t get it then i can’t really use builds/save files 

7. how many packs/kits do you own? lemme count

expansion: all - 10/10 game: 5/10 stuff: 9/18 kits: none xo

24/38 - 63%

8. what’s your origin id? is it the same as your url? 🤗 it’s in my title, it’s celeschul. it doesn’t look that nice in my title but i use celeschul in my package files and i’m guessing people search things like, “celeschul penny hair” or something like that in order to find my cc- so i keep it in there so the search results are easier. i do want to change it though..

but no it’s also not the same! well i mean it’s the username i use for cc. my origin id used to be an0nymousghost but i changed it. i wonder if anyone’s taken that one?

9. is your simblr your sideblog or main blog? main blog ✌️ my old blog @stardze​ is a main blog as well.

my old old simblr was a sideblog but it had like 1 follower and it literally a bot so i don’t think that counts. i have a multifandom sideblog though 

10. do you have a cc finds blog? i wish. i was thinking bout it earlier and that would be sooo neat but sometimes i download stuff that doesn’t have a tumblr post attached to it, and also it’s stressful to keep up with so nah

11. are you wcif friendly? yes sir. in fact i bring the trouble of wcifs onto myself but doing them even when nobody asked.

12. what’s your favorite sized household to play with? (ex. 1 sim, 4 sims) gonna have to think on this one, honestly 1 sim is really fun and stuff goes by so fast. doing stuff with astrid when she was on her own, it was much more efficient. 

for families, i haven’t done that in a while actually. 5, 2 parents and 3 kids is cute tho. why did i write this this is honestly such a hard question

13. if you have c&d, do you play with pets? i feel like i haven’t played with cats and dogs in forever. honestly i just have no paitence. noelle fae was supposed to get a cat (there’s a food bowl + cat bed in her house) but when summer vacation started, the amount of time i spent playing ts4 decreased a lot. (this doesn’t really make sense, i have a lot more time. honestly it just has to do with my recent obsession with a certain anime/manga and some other personal thing)

i did random nightmares in may though and i had pets frequently. g5 didn’t because sofia scarlett lived in an apartment, but g2/3/4 had cici, and g1 had all the cats. but that was back in march so it’s been a while.

14. what lifespan do you use? i really want to do aging off but then i feel like it drags on. but aging legit stresses me out, sometimes i just want to sit down and do some cas stuff but i only have 2 hours in real time and there’s like 4 days left till one of my sims’ birthdays. 

15. if you own a lot of packs, how many of them have you actually played through? just so everyone is aware this question was made for me

i feel like eps require a specific save made for testing them out, but the only save i’ve ever made for an ep is noelle fae’s get famous save. 

that is literally a lie - i made a save for island living with one of my 100bc kids, maisie acapella. i did actually post it on tumblr BUT then i deleted all the posts BUT i reblogged them on my alt account BUT i privated my alt account so i honestly forgot about it

i have never played through discover university or watched anyone do it on youtube, i’ve read gerbits’ story about it so i think i’m pretty qualified. i’ve always wanted to do one with periwinkle acapella but i never got around to it

another ep i know nothing about is get to work

i tried doing a eco life playthrough but i hadn’t watched any videos and i was like..what is going on. so i quit lolx d ;;;;; i mentioned it but the whimsy stories legacy was the first time i had played with the eco lifestyle features so technically i think i know what im doing

i got outdoor retreat literally on monday of this week so i haven’t played through it yet. 

jungle adventure i still don’t know what’s going on. i remember last year before i bought the pack i was brainstorming, and wanted to do a ja playthrough with luna and cedar, who are a couple who i did a random legacy with and it was all queued to post when i deleted everything (if you’re wondering why, it’s because my queue was literally 200+ posts). except this time i didn’t save them to my sideblog so i lost them. 

i still havent had a restaurant in dine out 

also never did the vet thing from cats and dogs

i have no idea what that rock climbing thing is from snowy escape but i did most of the other stuff because rn g5

city living i did through psc stage 5 and also it was the first pack i bought anyways

the rest of them are either stuff packs or i ended up playing them through casual gameplay (seasons, parenthood)

16. what do you do as you play sims? (ex. listen to music) i listen to music most of the time, or listen to commentary youtube videos because i am an alpha chad. i also used to talk with my friends on voice call but i don’t do that anymore 🥲

17. which sims challenges have you tried? random legacy, whimsy stories, perfect sim challenge, 100 baby, legacy (just the plain get-to-10-gens one), random nightmares, berry zodiac, astrology legacy, apocalypse

i feel like im forgetting some.. honestly most of the stuff i did before simblr was either 100 baby (i love that challenge) or random saves that lasted for 2 seconds. 

18. do you like the new(ish) hair swatches? nah. 

i do appreciate that most cc hairs have a true (ish) black, thank god! and the fact that the hair update is what inspired me to update and fix a bunch of hairs with different issues is pretty nice. but will i use them? no. 

plus it takes up like 5 gb? depending on how many packs you have.

19. post the latest screenshot you took 📸

i live in cas

20. what is the cc/ingame hair that looks the most like your own? i think that dream home decorator side part hair looks a lot like my hair. honestly i havent see much like my hair but that one is kinda-? close

21. who is your favorite sim of yours and what is their story? noelle and alari fae i think! 

link to post

noelle is blonde and has blue-grey eyes. she wears purple contacts pretty often though (because she wants to 😌)

alari has light brown hair that is kinda curly, and she’s got pretty vibrant blue eyes. 

they’re sisters, alari is 3 years older than noelle. noelle was 19 and alari was 22 when they got spotted

they worked as models when they were young adults. their jobs involved dyeing their hair blue/pink, and they would model like clothes and stuff. anyways, they were pretty successful. like not ultra famous but they had enough money to not work for the rest of their lives. 

their modeling group was made of 4 girls, the others were named paisley autumn and they were green and red, respectively. some things are: 

paisley and alari started dating during this 

autumn was a single mother to a little girl named destiny

noelle dated many people during this but never ended up finding the one <3

when their contract ended after like 6 years, paisley and alari went to go live together and noelle decided to get into acting. so thats when get famous playthrough started!

there’s more but basically they’re like oc’s with sims on the side. xoxo

22. if you use cc, are there any cc creators that you have like ALL of their items? this is such a good question! i hoard hair very heavily (my folder is 11gb) i so i have like 97% from most of the popular hair creators. 

i think i had legitimately EVERYTHING from simstrouble though, i went through multiple times to check and i also have all of her retired stuff. 

i have everything from ridgeport i think-? because of the fact that she uploaded all her stuff in one big zip. 

i think that’s it.. for a long time i also had everything by clumsyalienn, but then i ended up deleting it and only keeping my faves. 

and looking at my collection, maybe ah00b? i might be missing a couple but i at least have like 99%.

23. what’s one pack you think is underrated? dine out, it’s laggy af yes but it’s such a nice thing for my sims to do. 

24. what are your favorite sims stories/legacies? melons by gerbits always and forever

this question was inspired by this ask anyways so 

25. if you could change one small thing about ts4, what would it be? most of my suggestions are pretty complex but literally just - when you add tray files, they appear at the top. my life would be so much easier

this took me literal hours to answer

[izlaria]

Someone you like (part 1, updated)

After uploading the first part of my plance fic here, I ended up writing more on that same period of time. It’s not much, but I thought I would add it anyway.

This fic is based on the “Someone you like” animatic by honestlyprettychill. Their work is super bomb, so I ask you guys to go check it out and give the artist some love. With this update, I’m hoping to have wrapped up on the pre-Garrison time period, and I have already started writing Pidge’s pov of their time as students, so you’ll have that to look foward to, if you end up enjoying this fic. My other post has more disclaimers, so you can find it here. This story is also available on AO3.

The part I added comes after the -- that I used as a page break.

Thanks to everyone who has liked and reblogged this verse. Feel free to add comments in the tags or to straight up come talk to me. I love feedback.

Spanish to English translations at the end.

14 and 12 years old

The truth was that Lance went to Space Camp because Veronica could be a little pest. She knew their parents wouldn’t let her go alone and so had enticed her younger brother with the promise of travel and foreign girls and no parental supervision.

Veronica had obviously left out the fact that they were essentially going to school on steroids for a month, smack in the middle of their summer break. Cool as Miami might seem, Lance wasn’t exactly excited for all the extra work the camp would entail.

“No es un acampamiento,” his sister repeated for what felt like the thousandth time. He wasn’t listening anymore. “Tú sabes que el campo de explotación espacial no está muy desenvuelto en Cuba. Si realmente quieres trabajar con eso, entonces simplemente cállate y no insultes a nadie.”

“¿Cuando he insultado a alguien?” he shot back, defensive. Veronica didn’t dignify that with an answer.

As much as Lance might like to think himself very smooth, there were still times when he stumbled over his words, especially in English. More than once he’d meant to pay someone a compliment and had accidentally started an argument of some kind.

Veronica looked impatiently at her watch. “Mira, tengo una reunión con mi orientador. Y tú tienes por lo menos dos artículos para leer para las clases de mañana, ¿por qué no vas a la biblioteca para trabajar un poco? Prometo comprarte una hamburguesa después.”

Lance pouted at her, arms crossed over his chest. “Me debes más que una hamburguesa y lo sabes, Ronie.”

His sister snickered, but it was as much of an acknowledgement as he was going to get. Veronica pressed a quick kiss to his hair, already turning to go into the main building.

“¡Gracias, hermanito! ¡No te arrepentirás!”

In all honesty, Lance wasn’t as irritated as he made Veronica believe. He knew that a summer program in Miami was a really good opportunity, especially if he wanted to get into the Garrison in the following years. It was just difficult.

He was diligent and studious, but not as naturally gifted as some of the other kids. Besides, he hadn’t been to the US in a couple years, since his parents had mostly settled down in the family farm, which meant he still had to fall back into his English, a task made even more frustrating by the xenophobic comments from one of the boys in his AP geometry class.

The teacher had put an end to it right away, but the words stuck with Lance, for some reason.

With how much humanity had progressed in terms of technology, one would think they would be able to get past petty rivalry between nationalities and usually that was true, but the influx of foreigners following the establishment of the Galaxy Garrison in the US desert still annoyed some people, despite its existence as a multinational center for space exploration. It irritated Lance to no end, especially when so many of these scientific advances came from international collaboration.

If only he could shrug off the inadequacy that now grew in his chest.

Straight ahead, there was a path that led to a green area in the middle of the campus. The other students had taken to calling it the Woods, though it was more of a middle-sized park, with benches and picnic tables where anyone from the Institute could go to relax. That’s where Lance went, mind too full to really focus on homework.

He wondered if people would react that same way if he ever made it into the Garrison. He didn’t know how Veronica dealt with it all, especially when she was alone in Arizona most of the time. Barely a week had passed and Lance already missed his parents, the tenderness of home-cooked food and well-intended lectures.

No, he had to believe that Billy Underwood was an exception. The other kids hadn’t joined in on his taunts, even if no one had moved to defend Lance. It was still too early to make conclusions on his colleagues, especially when everyone had seemed so charmed by him before then.

Lance was so lost in thought that he didn’t realize he had been standing in front of one of the benches until a new voice broke through the peace of the park.

“Are you just gonna stand there?”

The words were somewhat harsh, but when Lance lowered his eyes to their source the girl winced, grimacing. She seemed to have spoken impulsively.

“Hmm, yeah.” Lance blinked at her for a moment, before finally sitting down on the bench. He made sure to leave space between him and the girl, not wanting to make the situation even more awkward.

“I didn’t mean to snap at you,” the girl said after a moment of silence. She looked at him sideways and her brown eyes seemed almost golden in the sunlight. There were freckles spread across the bridge of her nose and across her cheeks, and the green ribbon in her hair swayed in the wind. It was a soft sight, a contrast to the steeliness of her posture and gaze.

“It’s fine,” Lance hurried to assure her. She looked young, but so did he, and talking to complete strangers never failed to make him nervous. “Nothing like a little girl yelling at me to bring me back to earth.”

He gave her his best grin, the one reserved for first impressions and fancy parties. It was supposed to project confidence and kindness, even though Luis said he ended up looking a bit smug.

“I didn’t yell,” the girl pointed out with a light frown. Then her eyes shifted into a more calculating look. “You’re a bit of a goofball, aren’t you?”

“I prefer the term good-humored,” he replied jokingly.

She continued to stare. Lance got the feeling that the girl did this a lot. She had an untamed intelligence to her that Lance couldn’t completely understand. It was the sort of air that teachers sometimes carried, as if they could see something deeper in you if they looked long enough.

“It didn’t seem like you were feeling all that good-humored just now.” She tilted her head to the side, letting the words hang between them.

“Yeah, I suppose that’s true,” Lance found himself saying.

“Do you… want to talk about it?” She looked so doubtful that it almost made Lance laugh. The feeling, however, was overcome by the relief of finally having someone who would listen.

He had spent the week trying and failing to explain to Veronica what was truly making him feel down. She was too busy or too happy for Lance to tell her the truth, especially when it left him so vulnerable. After all, Veronica had taken to her work on the Institute like a fish to water. Lance was supposed to be more adaptable than this.

With the rest of his family away in Cuba, he felt unbearably lonely.

“Yes! Thank you!” Lance shifted in the bench to face the girl. She was taken aback by his enthusiasm, but didn’t move away. “There’s this cabrón in my class, who thought it was a good idea to mess with me, just ‘cause I said fábrica instead of factory in our first day here. He hasn’t really left me alone since…” he whined. “I speak two languages but somehow I’m the uneducated ass here!”

The girl nodded, eyes downcast. “I know what you mean.”

“You do?” He eyed the fairness of her skin and the almost ginger of her hair. “Sorry, but you look white.”

Lance’s comment must have taken her by surprise, because she actually laughed.

“I am white. I’m also Italian.” She rolled her eyes, but there was amusement in the tug of her lips. “I can be both.”

“That’s true.” Lance grinned sheepishly. It was good that she wasn’t offended by his lack of filter. “You don’t have much of an accent, though.”

“Neither do you,” the girl bit back, no real animosity in her tone.

He shrugged. “My family spent a lot of time in the US when I was younger. It used to be second nature to me. Now, I keep feeling like I have to hold back the instinct to roll my R’s.”

“I get that. My parents moved here right after I was born, but we used to speak Italian in the house.” There was a pause here, something that she couldn’t bring herself to say. “I think it’s cool that you can speak Spanish. It’s useful.”

“Yeah?” Lance sat up straight, feeling suddenly boastful.

“Sure!” she continued, encouraged by his interest. “The Bouman Aeronautics Research Institute really values multiculturalism! It is a hob of different nationalities and perspectives, created to foster new minds from around the world! Or that’s what my brother says, at least, and he is rarely wrong.” She gave him a smirk that quickly shifted into a grimace. “Don’t tell him I said that or he will never let me forget it.”

“Older brother?” At her nod, Lance smiled. “I got older siblings too. Sort of the reason I’m here in the first place, actually. One of them was accepted as a researcher and she tricked me into applying too.”

“Same, actually.” She seemed startled for a moment, pulling out her cellphone. “Freak, I have to go! I completely lost track of time while reading.” She got up to go, collecting the book she’d apparently put down to talk to him. It was a thick volume with numbers on the cover, but it didn’t look like math.

Another green ribbon fluttered to the ground, having escaped the pages of the book. Lance bent down to pick it up.

“Here.” He stretched it out to the girl. “Wouldn’t want to lose its pair,” he said with a wink.

“Thanks for reminding me!” She grabbed the ribbon hurriedly, then paused, turning back to Lance. “And for the conversation, I guess.”

Lance grinned at her. She was a little awkward but in an endearing way, like she wasn’t used to having the attention of others on her. Given she empathized with his circumstances in the Institute, it wasn’t that big of a leap to assume that she had trouble making friends.

“Bye bye, Italian girl.” He waved, glad that he could spend these few minutes with her.

“Farewell, Spanish boy.”

Lance meant to correct her about his nationality, but she took out running, clearly late for something. He laughed at the way she stumbled across the uneven ground, careless like a little kid. It was a strange juxtaposition: the thoughtfulness of her earlier words and the childishness of her smile now.

He settled back into the bench, feeling much more content than he’d been earlier. It was nice to talk to people outside of class, for a change.

And, well, Italian girl was pretty. A bit young-looking for him, but he thought guys her age should be tripping over their feet for a chance to talk to her.

“Hey, you’re Lance, right?” A boy had approached while Lance observed the girl disappear from sight. He was tall and robust, with shortly cropped hair, but his expression was friendly. “You’re in my Analytics class.”

It took Lance a second to place him. Analytics was one of the classes Lance struggled with the most, so he hadn’t had as much opportunity to joke around there.

“And you’re Hunk!” Lance snapped his fingers, smiling. “Sit down, man! What can I do for ya?”

--

“No, I promise you, she’s a cutie!” Lance exclaimed, hands waving around in the air. Hunk chuckled at his exuberance.

“I believe you, Lance.” His friend’s tone was fond and amused, which brought a smile to Lance’s face. “You’ve told me about Italian girl a hundred times already. Why don’t you just approach her again? You said you saw her on campus.”

It was true, he had seen her: running across the woods with her arms full of books; sitting by the big windows in the cafeteria, papers spread across the nearby seats; standing under an oak tree with her face turned towards the wind, her long hair escaping from where she’d tied it back.

Lance pouted at Hunk. “She hasn’t spoken to me since…” he mumbled.

“Well,” Hunk scrunched up his brows in thought, “you did say she seemed younger than us. She’s probably just embarrassed about venting to a stranger out of nowhere.”

Lance threw himself onto his bed so that Hunk wouldn’t see his face contort in a grimace. He hadn’t meant to twist the story so badly, but he had already started talking about Italian girl before he realized he didn’t want to share his insecurities with the other boy. Hunk was almost excessively easy to talk to, but they’d known each other for too short a time.

“She didn’t seem like the shy type,” he retorted, arms spread over his head. “Too snipy.”

Hunk had gotten up from his place at the desk and moved to sit on the bed, shaking his head at Lance. He had kind eyes, something that Lance hadn’t really noticed on that first week in the Institute. Some things just got lost amid the noise, he reasoned.

“For someone who feels no shame hitting on random girls, you sure are hung up on this one.” Hunk poked him on the ribs and Lance recoiled, twisting away.

“It’s not like that!” Even as he said it, Lance could feel his neck grow warm. He wasn’t really attracted to the girl, but there was something pleasant about her that did leave him faltering. “Seriously, dude, she’s probably the same age as my little sister!”

Hunk hummed in acceptance. “If you say that’s not it, then I believe you. You just talk about her a lot for someone who you only met once.”

Lance sat up to look Hunk in the eyes. It was true that his mind kept drifting back towards that girl, but he didn’t think the emotion she awakened in him was romantic.

“I’ve just never clicked with anyone like that,” he confessed, bringing his knees up to his chest. “And maybe that’s also why I haven’t talked to her again. ‘Cause what if it was a hoax?”

“So you don’t want to ruin the memory of it?” Hunk put a finger to his chin in a considering motion. “That’s fair.”

There was more to it, but Lance didn’t feel like explaining himself further. Several times he had gone by Italian girl in the library, even stopped to look at her, considering, but whenever she raised those amber eyes to meet his, Lance froze. He blushed and blustered and eventually left.

It was nice to see her smiling, though, even if it was at his expense. She was always alone when Lance saw her and it reminded him of how isolated he’d felt before befriending Hunk.

Italian girl was clearly smart, probably smarter than almost anyone in the institute, given how fast she went through those complicated-looking books. She also spent a lot of time in the library, because it was where Lance most ran into her. It was always her and her astronomy books and her ribbons.

Maybe he was projecting. Luis said he did this a lot.

“I just hope she found a friend here,” he said, more to himself than to Hunk, “someone who will also end up a little late just because they want to hear her out.”

Hunk studied his face, making Lance shift his position in discomfort.

“Who could have known?” the boy started teasingly. “You’re actually a good guy behind all that arrogance.”

Lance used his elbow to push Hunk off the bed, complaining more dramatically than was truly warranted. His friend laughed as he got up, only to throw himself back onto Lance to mess up his hair.

“What the hell, dude? Going for my hairdo?” He tried to free himself from Hunk’s arm around his neck. “Friendship over! We are no longer rooming when we get to the Garrison!”

Hunk didn’t let up and the two continued to laugh well into the afternoon.

Their time in the Institute would end in a little over a week, and Italian girl would drift to the back of Lance’s mind to become a lovely memory, just the afterimage of someone who could have meant more to him.

Translations:

“No es un acampamiento.Tú sabes que el campo de explotación espacial no está muy desenvuelto en Cuba. Si realmente quieres trabajar con eso, entonces simplemente cállate y no insultes a nadie.” - “It’s not a camp. You know that the field of space exploration is not very well developped in Cuba. If you really do want to work in this area, then simply shut up and don’t insult anyone.”

“¿Cuando he insultado a alguien?” - “When have I insulted anyone?”

“Mira, tengo una reunión con mi orientador. Y tú tienes por lo menos dos artículos para leer para las clases de mañana, ¿por qué no vas a la biblioteca para trabajar un poco? Prometo comprarte una hamburguesa después.” - “Look, I have a meeting with my coordinator. And you have at least two articles to read for tomorrow’s classes. Why don’t you go work for a bit in the library? I promise to buy you a burger later.”

“Me debes más que una hamburguesa y lo sabes, Ronie.” - “You owe me more than a burger and you know it, Ronie.”

“¡Gracias, hermanito! ¡No te arrepentirás!” - “Thank you, little brother! You won’t regret it!”

Cabrón - Bastard