#in light of recent essek news

[housesalad]

essek time

[aeor-is-for-reccing]

Check below the cut for eleven awesome Canon Divergent fics!

i know it’s hard to breath sometimes by kmackatie (5770, Explicit) Warnings: None An alternate end to c2e128 Cat and Mouse — Jester’s divine intervention works, and instead of the fire plane, they escape the clutches of Trent and arrive safely at the Vurmas outpost. Reccer says: It’s a delicate and careful take on Essek and Caleb not quite trusting each other but finding comfort in what could be.

the better version of our past by KmacKatie (5840, Explicit) Warnings: None What if Essek got to see hundreds of alternative timelines while casting the dunamancy nap spell in Episode 138 Reccer says: The entire fic is wonderfully surreal, filled with snips of fluff and angst and pining and love

long rest by egg (strwpup) (2887, Not Rated) Warnings: None After the Nein flee from the Sanatorium, Trent decides that he is going to keep talking to Caleb throughout the night. He doesn't need that sleep :) Reccer says: Angsty alternative to the small window of time between the Sanatorium heist and getting back to Eiselcross. Caleb is worried about Essek and is pining and very sad about it

when we bleed, we bleed the same by robinread (9607, Mature) Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, major character death (but don't worry they get better!) What if Caleb failed to dispel Gaudius' charm on Essek during the battle in Cognouza? Reccer says: I just think Essek should get his own 'light them up, pretty'-moment.

only code it knows is rote survival by Chrome (13115, Teen) Warnings: Feeblemind Trent makes good on his post-Vergesson threats and goes after Essek in Aeor. The nein are stuck dealing with a feebleminded Essek. Reccer says: I'm a sucker for hurt/comfort and characters being stripped of any sort of artifice. This fic is a great example of both of them.

More Things in Heaven and Earth by kaeda (76998, Mature) Warnings: None Caleb and Essek end up inside Tusk Love. That's it. That's the fic. Reccer says: Do you like crack? Do you like crack taken deadly seriously to the point where you end up crying? LOOK NO FURTHER.

Clock Hands by royalgreen (allyoop) (62504, Mature) Warnings: No archive warnings apply It's a canon-divergent series of four fics, where Essek and Caleb are just starting a relationship when the episode 97 reveal hits. Further diverges with an alternate take on the TravelerCon arc, as the fourth fic in the series was started during the hiatus. Reccer says: I like that Essek and Caleb talk to each other -- the conversations are hard and Caleb's rightfully processing some hurt, but they still make the effort to have those conversations. I'm also really intrigued by the author's worldbuilding that they did for the TravelerCon arc.

The Arsonist by chromaryllis (80492, Teen) Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Caleb falls under a curse that's slowly stripping him of his autonomy, magic and mind. Much to his surprise, when the Mighty Nein take off to track down the mage who cursed him, Essek insists on accompanying them. Reccer says: The pining and tension are top-tier. This fic was started in 2019, so it diverges from canon at a much earlier point than a lot of more recent Sg fics, and the flavour is an intriguing change of pace.

I've Seen Injustice in the World (And I've Corrected It) by jakia (5146, Teen) Warnings: No archive warnings apply A "what if Caleb never spoke to Essek after ep 97" AU that has them reuniting a few years after the campaign ended. Reccer says: It was written at the very beginning of the Eiselcross arc, so the author did their own worldbuilding about how the campaign ended that I really enjoyed.

A Favor Accepted by SamJoinedtheReconCorps (187346, General) Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence "Essek had never cared about anyone in his over a century of life - at least that's what he thought until he realized just how much he cared about the new friends he'd found in the Mighty Nein, right as he was losing them. But Caleb offers him a second chance. If only Essek would take it." Canon divergent at episode 97. Reccer says: Long, lovely canon divergence fic about an alternate TravelerCon, with Essek there. And recced three times! Hard Mouth by road_rhythm (216261, Explicit) Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, rape/non-con | lots of Dark and heavy topics but mostly in dreams What if Caleb didn't get the Mind Blank spell in Aeor and Trent was a lot harder to deal with? Nightmares! Aeor! Exhaustion levels! The inherent eroticism of monitoring your narrative foil's pulse! PLUM ORCHARDS! Reccer 1 says: felt like a natural continuation of cannon, very true to the characters and Trent was as awful like he should be Reccer 2 says: Really thoughtful characterizations not just for Essek and Caleb but for all of TM9. Brutal but amazing. This is the Trent arc we should have gotten. Reccer 3 says: It's gruesome, intense, horrific, clever, insightful, and perhaps most of all - true to the characters. It stays with you. And yes, some of stays with you because it is deeply unpleasant - but one of my sharpest memories from it is one of peace.

Aeor is for Lovers is an 18+ Shadowgast Discord server. The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. All fics, unless otherwise specified, will primarily feature Shadowgast.

Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ! Next week's theme is Old Favorites, another of our recurring themes, so stay tuned!

[mllekurtz]

shadowgast wip rec list part 4

(part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 3.5 - part 4 - part 4.5)

It's been a while since I've done a rec list of work-in-progress shadowgast fics, so here's a curated selection from my Subscriptions page (under a cut because there's a lot of 'em).

All of these works, listed in no particular order, are wips that have been updated recently or semi-recently, and have the only common denominator of being liked by yours truly. Feel free to reblog and add your recs (or better yet, make a rec list of your own! They're fun and make the day of everyone involved).

It goes without saying that these works are active wips at the moment of posting this list. Past lists may contain works that have been completed or abandoned since.

Lastly, a shoutout to @aeor-is-for-reccing and their weekly rec lists, which inspired me to put together a new one ♥ check them out for more recs!

zwiefacher (15/20 chapters, E, warnings: CNTW & Rape/Noncon) by VillainIHaveDoneThyMother/@villainihavedonethymotheronao3 - this fic juggles so many plates (t4t shadowgast, memory loss, extreme trauma, kidnapping, gaslighting, even more trauma, systemic racism, and lots of other fun things I'm forgetting) and does it incredibly well. Not a light reading, but if you want something substantial to sink your teeth in, I can't recommend this enough.

You Be You, And I’ll Be Busy (3/10 chapters, T, warnings: CNTW) by theprophetlemonade/@the-prophet-lemonade - top notch characterisation of both of them (but I'm especially in love with Essek's). The sexual, romantic and just plain tension are well executed, and while all the fics listed here are outstanding for their style and prose, this one is truly no exception.

Unfinished (5/? chapters, E, warnings: CNTW) by road_rhythm/@road-rhythm - read this with a notebook, some red string and a cork board. Roadie is so good at taking a premise and building a life-like, in-depth story around (under, over, beside, inside) it; both the prose and the content are sharp and unforgiving. And I know we're here for shadowgast, but this fic's Beau is the best.

Love Letters to Toss Into the Fire (10/? chapters, T, no warnings) by Anonymous - props to this fic not only for the excellent premise (Caleb and Essek secretly write letters to each other) but for keeping it up for so long while always making it interesting. The ciphers, spells, devices and tricks they use to send each other letters are always different, interesting and believable, and the relationship between the wizards grows in a delicate, emotional way.

The Chosen AU (18/? chapters, E, warnings: CNTW) by Anonymous - not a purely shadowgast fic since it starts as Verin/Essek, as in sibling incest, with Caleb joining their relationship later, so if that's not for you be warned (but honestly the relationship between the Thelyss brothers is wholesome and well-handled, so if you're on the fence because of that, you should definitely give this fic a try). When this fic goes dark, it goes dark; when it's lighthearted, it's deeply funny and sweet. Come for the blorbos, stay for the lovely OCs, the engaging subplots, the fleshed-out world-building, the very effective non-linear narrative and just an all-around riveting story that kept me glued to my kindle for a whole weekend as I was catching up with it.

all this, heaven never could describe (10/28 chapters, M, no warnings) by kaeda/@the-kaedageist - a sequel to the delightful More Things in Heaven and Earth, which you should definitely read (to understand this fic but also because, as I said, it's a joy to read), it follows the adventures of Alternate!Bren and Essek as they try to put their own version of the Mighty Nein together. The shadowgast dynamic in this one is juicy and fun and unlike anything you've ever read: they're competitive, they sleep together, they annoy each other, they're so obviously in love.

if you must live, darling one (3/11 chapters, M, no warnings) by essektheylyss (midnightindigo)/@essektheylyss - Megs is one of the (many!) writers in this fandom who are really good at conveying demisexual feelings in a way that's believable both for Essek's character and the demi audience, at least in my experience. This fic is very interesting in that regard.

Kintsugi (15/? chapters, M, warnings: Major Character Death) by Chekhov/@thechekhov - first of all, the major character death is temporary and integral to the foundational concept of the fic, which is brilliant; yes, there is a lot of heartache in this one, but the payoff is entirely worth it. You'll find Chekhov's trademark brilliant, clever, polished style in a story that doesn't pull any punches and will make you cry and crave for more after each update.

the fugitive's version of shelter (5/6 chapters, E, no warnings) by hanap/@callingvoicemail - the latest instalment in the here is a world where you love your executioner series, which is partly a retelling of the second half of campaign 2, partly set post-canon, with the variable of Essek being pregnant with Ludinus' child. The whole series is recommended, as well as necessary reading to appreciate this one; it's an original take on a will-they/won't-they dynamic that makes for some deliciously complicated shadowgast.

Hold Me Close, Cut Me Deep (1/4 chapters, M, no warnings) by CatgirlTheCrazy/@catgirlthecrazy - this fic is effectively summarised as "Essek has his own light 'em up, pretty moment." Do I need to say anything else?

presque vu (13/?, T, no warnings) by element78 - (also known as the fic that kept me sane while I was in work hell last summer) Caleb suffers from memory loss for mysterious reasons and doesn't remember being friends with the Nein or being in a relationship with Essek; the fic starts with an amnesiac Bren waking up and then proceeds with a slow, painstaking rebuilding of trust and relationships. The memory loss plot device coupled with Bren/Caleb's pov is great for narrative irony, the shadowgast dynamic is heart-rending, and everyone cares about each other so much (well, maybe not Kingsley, but he has his reasons).

The Devil's Hands are Idle Playthings (8/?, M, warnings: CNTW) by Sethrial/@rockshitty - I always love a good modern AU, and this is an excellent one with a supernatural twist. Seth is really good at including heavy plot points with the right dose of dark humour, and at writing realistic banter (the chats between Caleb's colleagues are a highlight). Being the demon that haunts night-shift worker Caleb, Molly features heavily in this fic, and he's an obnoxious, mephistophelian delight.

[rainbowcaleb]

3, 19, 14 for the fic writer asks!

ooh many! (from the list here)

3. What's your favorite fic that you've written?

Cheater's answer is my as-of-yet unpublished ending to Fourth Corner. (sorry, sorry) But honestly the only fic I've actually re-read by choice (and not for editing reasons) is my spicy Patience, which to this day is the only fic I've gotten direct DM'd compliments on XD

14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as a comic or a film, which fic would you pick?

I think it would be unhingedly delightful to see the giant bug fight from Fourth Corner animated, as a fight scene is so cinematic. Also Catfe comics would make me weep fr. That would be such a cozy comic book to read.

19. Give us a small teaser from your WIPs.

Let's do a recent one! My luciessek monster length fic is very unpublished but I love my terrible sons so much.

Essek’s meager concentration was broken with a heavy weight across his shoulders. He had spent all day attempting to find a clean corner amongst the chaos before giving up and floating over the questionably stained cot. Light, he can’t believe he had slept on that before. Finding what he wanted amongst this latest batch of tomes was just as insufferable of a task. He was so close, so close, to a breakthrough. All knowledge was hard won, some a bloodstained trophy, but Essek knew it would be worth it. It had to be.

And then Lucien fucking Tavelle had to drape himself across his floating body and knock him half out of the air and fully out of his thoughts. 

“Play a game with me Essek.” He spoke in that dangerous purr, voice rumbling against Essek’s back.

“You want something.” He replied matter of fact. With Lucien, it often was the case.

“That isn’t the game, darling.” Lucien stepped aside but didn’t let go of Essek, leaning to whisper in his ear. “Good news or bad news. I’ll let you pick.”

“How magnanimous.” Essek knew this push and pull, the familiarity like muscle memory of dance steps. He tilted his head away, wanting to make Lucien work for it. “Start with the bad news, Lucien, out with it.”

“Always the same answer, tsk. We have a leak.” 

There was no way Lucien, as wrapped over Essek as he was, didn’t feel the sharp and immediate tensing of his shoulders.

“And you are sure, how?”

“Call it divine intuition.” Lucien’s teeth were on Essek’s neck now, teasing between words. 

“There is nothing divine about you.” Essek snapped back. This was catastrophic, why wasn’t Lucien out there right now, predator to this prey? What they were doing could never be made public.

“That’s the joke, darling.” Hands trailed up Essek’s back, a little bit of claw to their gentle touch. Lucien dug his fingers into Essek’s shoulders; a massage and a reminder.

[hello-eeveev]

How to Rest Director's Commentary—Chapter 6

| Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 |

It’s here it’s here! The big finale!!!

This chapter is arguably my favorite of the whole fic (though choosing between them all is a bit like choosing a favorite child). It’s just so happy. It makes me so happy. It’s just so full of love, and I’m really excited to talk about it!

(spoiler warning for the entirety of How to Rest)

A couple of things happened to Caleb on the way home from the market.

Don’t ask me why I styled the opening sentence of this chapter after the Sondheim musical A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum; I could not tell you. I have never seen it, I don’t know what it’s about, but I did spend my teenage years obsessed enough with musical theater to have heard its name floated about and I dunno I think it’s got a nice mouthfeel.

“A message from Zivan Margolin,” [Astrid] said. “Welcome to Soltryce Academy, Professor Widogast. We look forward to working with you this fall.” She paused for a long moment before continuing, her voice softer, more sincere. “Congratulations, old friend.”

Astrid is not Margolin’s messenger, but I think she would not be completely out of the loop regarding Caleb’s hiring, what with the historic connection between Soltryce Academy and the Archmage of Civil Influence, and would be able to work her way into being the one to tell Caleb of his hiring if she wanted. And I wanted her to because 1) I love her, and 2) I like giving Astrid a little space to be human and to try to have a friendly relationship with Caleb again. I wanted her to switch off her formal voice and replace it with a more genuine one. Because she took up Ikithon’s position almost immediately after removing herself from under his thumb, it is more than likely that she is still splitting herself in two, though at least she has more control over this situation than the last. But she is trying to be more than the Volstrucker Ikithon made her, and giving Caleb some good news and congratulating him on it is part of that journey.

And I know that 25 words—only 3 of which are actually her own—are not nearly enough to explore all of that, but she has been a background player in this fic and I wanted her to make an appearance and unfortunately, every time she comes up, I have so many thoughts about her. Here’s a post about that.

Essek stood in the living room, turned away. His hand rested on the back of the couch, and the edges of his travelling cloak rustled in the sudden shift of air. He looked over his shoulder at Caleb’s entrance. The early evening light shone over his nose and hair and cheekbone, casting the edges of him in gold. He smiled.  “Hello, Caleb Widogast.”

Look at that dramatic entrance! What an image he strikes!! Handsome boy!!!

But on a functional level, this is one of those visual tropes that I like in TV and movies, and I think it aids the pacing to have a moment to slow down and take in the scene—Essek’s clothing, the time of day, how recently he arrived—before they rush at each other. It adds a little drama, builds some anticipation, it’s a good time.

Caleb always prepared Unseen Servant on market days.

One fun part of this chapter was considering what magic Caleb might use in his day-to-day, and I thought that Unseen Servant would be great for a scrawny wizard who would like to put his groceries away quickly so he can get back to nerd business. Would that I could do the same.

As they moved through the narrow spaces between table and cupboard, they nudged past each other in with soft touches to backs and hips and shoulders, the routine of it hardly a thought while they chatted about what had happened since they had seen each other last.

More often than not, How to Rest is about the little intimacies and the ways in which Essek and Caleb are growing their lives around each other. Compare how monumental every little touch was in Chapter 1 to it being a passing mention here while they catch up and do chores. There is so much love in being comfortable with another person. Even though this chapter has other bigger moments of romantic love, moments like these are not to be discounted either.

He had a house that he had lived in for over a year now. He knew the quickest path to and from the market, which he took with little variation and without fear of being followed. He had a spell he used specifically to help him put groceries away.

Much of How to Rest is also about settling in, finding and creating peace within your life, because with that comes rest, which is what Caleb and Essek have been desperately in need of for years. Not just the kind that restores spells slots, but the kind that lets you breathe and live (hi my name is eve and i live up to its meaning)

For Caleb, I think rest is found in routines and rituals, in security, and in magic both awe-inspiring and completely ordinary. So that’s what I gave him. mwah. love you, buddy. 

He knew which cupboard his oats belonged in and how to operate the Vault of Amber where he stored his milk so it wouldn’t spoil.

To the two commenters who independently needed to talk about Caleb keeping his milk in a Vault of Amber: I love you. I love you so much. It will never not make me laugh that—out of everything in this chapter—this line I wrote in about two seconds and didn’t think about again was enough to warrant two whole comments. It is genuinely so funny and delightful.

But to give you a breakdown of my thought process for this detail:

Vault of Amber has refrigeration properties.

It requires five pieces of amber that merge into one upon completion of the spell.

Bruh, can you imagine a refrigerator the size of a pebble???

His heart swelled with an emotion too big to breathe around. It was warm and light, and it ached, insisting that any distance from Essek was too far apart. Just in the other room wasn’t close enough; Caleb wanted to be near him for as long as their scant few hours would allow, to hold him and enjoy his company until he vanished into thin air once more.

Even though Caleb has accepted and made peace with their weird long distance relationship situation, it doesn’t fully remove the longing that comes with being apart or the intensity of the reuniting. And right now, Caleb is having a moment of realizing that despite the brevity of his visits, Essek has incorporated Caleb’s home and life into his own and that when Caleb said he wanted it to be a home base for Essek, Essek took that to heart. To put it into words a little earlier than Caleb does, right now he is feeling how much Essek loves him and how much he loves Essek, and it’s kind of a lot.  

“Hello, dear,” he said. “Hallo.”

Me when the wizards say hi: 🥺

Caleb nodded and dropped a kiss between Essek’s eyes, delighting in the way Essek laughed and squeezed them shut. He hoisted himself up and over the back of the couch and lowered himself onto the seat beside him.

It’s fun to write some playful, unserious moments for them, too. Silliness is essential to one’s health. 

“It is well-earned. I am very happy for you. In fact, I have something for this very occasion.” He pulled away to reach into his component pouch, and with a flourish of his free hand, his arcane chest appeared at his feet. He opened it and pulled out a thick, square-shaped bundle wrapped in crepe paper and twine. He held it out to Caleb. “Here. This is for you.”

THE OUTFIT!!!! I thought harder about this outfit than I have about any outfit for anything I’ve written and probably anything I’ve drawn. Fashion is something I find very interesting when it is presented to me (Bernadette Banner’s youtube channel was one of my 2020 binges), but is not so much something I consider much of my own accord. But I wanted this outfit to have a lot of meaning. I wanted it to be built of things Essek picked up during his travels because he was thinking about him. Caleb mentioned once that he needed a new wardrobe for teaching and Essek took that on as a sidequest. I did a lot of research in Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount and on the internet to find inspiration for what each piece would look like and where in Wildemount it would come from.

I wanted the textiles to be mostly wool, cotton, and linen, but with a few silk details. More practical fabrics because they are, well, practical. And Caleb is the son of farmers. But some silk because he is allowed to be a bit fancy. Everything is of extremely high quality. It is what he deserves.

I didn’t want it to be reds, maroons, and browns because while Caleb looks great in those colors, he has plenty of them already. Something cooler would contrast nicely with the reds in his hair and bring out the blue of his eyes.

So let’s break down each piece (in order of appearance, not of purchase):

…a coat made from a dark forest green tweed and lined with silk […] and dark brown trousers of the same make as the coat.

Both of these pieces were commissioned and purchased in Yrrosa, which is a town located in a snowy part of the Zemni Fields. With this information, I figured that it isn’t a wild assumption that they might raise sheep there and use their wool for textile. While it isn’t the richest town, it doesn’t seem to be exceedingly poor either, so I imagine that Essek was able to find a good tailor with some fine tweeds to make Caleb’s coat and trousers.

…a white linen shirt with traditional Zemnian whitework embroidery on the collar and cuffs.

The shirt was the first garment Essek purchased once he got the idea. After that first date, he went down to Feolinn and bought a plain white linen shirt to be a staple in Caleb’s wardrobe. Later, whether it was through Caleb or his own travels, Essek learned of the style of whitework embroidery practiced in more rural areas of the Zemni Fields and decided to have someone embroider the shirt with that style.

There wasn’t time to describe the whitework in detail, but I was inspired by Schwalm whitework, which is a style of embroidery that originated in the early 19th century in Germany. I think it is so so beautiful and I really wanted to include it somehow. Here is an article that gives you an overview of Schwalm whitework and some examples, and here is an image of a men’s shirt that helped me place the embroidery.

…a waistcoat made of rich purple brocade.

The waistcoat is from Nicodranas. The Menagerie Coast and the Concord were not involved in the War of Ash and Light, so I imagine Essek feels a bit freer to commission something with a bit of Dynasty flair here than anywhere else. 

When Essek was in Nicodranas, I fancy the idea of him consulting with Veth (and maybe Jester if he catches her there?) about the gift, and Veth, knowing that Essek would have limited funds and always being willing to spend money on Caleb, decided to split the costs with Essek. Maybe she knows a good tailor in the city, or maybe she brought Essek to Marion to find one. Veth is probably the best chance at sneakily getting Caleb’s measurements, or at least getting them without suspicion.

I didn’t specify a design for the brocade, so nothing’s set in stone, but I think it could be fun if there were some geometric elements to it. Or even if it had the more naturalistic patterns most brocades seem to have, they could be grouped in a way that evokes a pentagonal shape, like the face of a dodecahedron. 

…a set of bronze cufflinks with an intricately carved dodecahedron on each face. […] Caleb held it up to the light, and as he turned it, the metal suddenly seemed to turn purple and a rainbow of colors shimmered across its surface, like oil on top of water. He rolled the cufflink between his fingers and watched as the color shifted—gold to purple, purple to gold.

Gwardan, my beloved! An elvish city in a temperate area near the mountains and not far from the ocean with a unique and beautiful artistic tradition!! I need to go there!!!

I took some liberty with the description of steamcast metal, as it is only described as having a ‘prismatic shimmer’ and I needed more detail for how close and intimate the narration is during this section. So I thought about prisms refracting light and creating rainbows, then about rainbows in oil slicks and how metal reflects light and color and lenticular prints and iridescence. Then I decided on bronze because I think it’s a beautiful metal and purple because it is the best color. 

Caleb shucked off his clothes and began changing right there in the living room. Essek shook his head and turned his gaze upwards. Caleb didn’t care if Essek saw him in his smallclothes, but he wouldn’t begrudge him his sense of modesty. 

Essek is not embarrassed, per se. He would have had to get over that pretty quick during their wizards’ Aeor trip, what with close quarters, infrequent privacy, and relying on each other for medical care. It’s really nothing he hasn’t seen before. 

But like, there’s a time and a place for getting undressed, and Essek doesn’t consider the middle of the living room one of them. And even if it were, what else is he supposed to do with his eyes? Close them? Stare? Awkward. 

Essek was still paying attention; once Caleb had put on his new trousers and buttoned his shirt up halfway, Essek moved in front of him and placed his hands in the path of Caleb’s. Instead of moving on to the next button, Caleb’s hands alighted on Essek’s wrists and followed them up as Essek deftly and delicately fastened each button. He turned the collar down and smoothed the fabric over Caleb’s shoulders and down his arms, then took Caleb’s hands and lifted them to chest level. He tapped his index finger against the back of Caleb’s hand, and a box floated between them.

Bruh 🥺

The closeness and the intimacy. This section is almost the entire reason for the non-sexual intimacy tag because it’s just so—

It’s not what I think of as obviously romantic, but that’s what makes it romantic. If that makes sense? Maybe it’s not even romantic at all. It’s just comfortable. Content. Caring. But it’s still intense and meaningful, even if it doesn’t have the same heart-pounding excitement of their early relationship. 

I have always loved the way writers, romance writers in particular, are able to slow down scenes and convey that feeling of tunnel vision that comes when you’re near someone you like. There has to be an attention to detail and a keen visualization that can be hard to achieve sometimes. You can’t fudge things or handwave them away like you might when the narration is quicker or more distant. Everything must feel deliberate but natural. It’s not always easy, but when it’s pulled off, it’s great. I’m very proud of the writing I did here. 

“In the winter maybe, when the semester is over, we can go and celebrate. If it is safe for you, of course.” Essek pressed a kiss to Caleb’s cheek. “I shall plan on it.”

Caleb is hedging around making a definitive plan, worried about pressuring Essek on accident and not wanting to set himself up for disappointment. But Essek is fully ready to make a plan because he knows where he’s going to be come winter and he’s dropping a little hint as to what his news might be (but Caleb doesn’t have any context for this and misses it.) 

but I didn’t miss it >:)

readers, you must know that every time I do a little foreshadowing or allusion or implication, I am tapping my fingertips together and ehehe-ing like the least threatening cartoon villain. this is enrichment for me. 

Caleb turned around and took a step back, holding his arms away from his sides to show off the whole outfit.

Modeling is a skill that Caleb does not possess. 

Essek looked him over from head to toe, his mouth pressed into a line as he considered. When his eyes met Caleb’s again, his expression softened, and Caleb caught a glimpse of his lower lip caught against a sharp tooth. “You look very beautiful.” Caleb’s breath caught, and heat crept from beneath his collar all the way up to his cheeks. He cleared his throat, glancing away for a moment to regain his composure.

Caleb was asking how the outfit looked on him, but instead Essek compliments his whole self, and it’s so unexpected and so flattering that Caleb bluescreens a little bit.

And if I am remembering correctly, this is the first time either of them have outwardly called the other beautiful, or any compliment of the like, even though they have thought it often. Essek has implied it, by complimenting his outfit in Chapter 1 and his hair and eyes in Chapter 3, but now he’s saying it directly and without shame. I don’t think Caleb is necessarily cognizant of of all that, but he has a subconscious understanding and definitely feels its impact. 

“Archmage Becke has insinuated to me that Ludinus has become engaged in a new project that has diverted his attention away from me entirely.”

This is great news for Essek! Bad news for Exandria because Ludinus decided that the moon and killing the gods was more important than his former co-conspirator who’s hardly shown his face in the last two years. 

I’m not sure if the timing works out (based on the little bit of digging I did just now, it doesn’t seem to), but I like to think that this is when Liliana showed up to the Ruby Vanguard and Ludinus’s plans really started to take shape. Uh-oh!

“For the time being, if I am careful, I am a free man. And I’ve grown rather tired of running from place to place.”

Essek: I’m tired. 

The Avatar: The Last Airbender super fan sleeper agent in my head, activated: THEN YOU SHOULD REST. A MAN NEEDS HIS REST.

“So…” He trailed off, his eyes searching Caleb’s—eager still, but brimming with an unspoken question. “If you will have me, I would like to spend the time I have here. With you.”

Essek is excited and he knows Caleb will be excited, which is why he feels comfortable showing up unannounced with the intention to stay, but he is still exercising caution. He’s trying to gauge if this is still something Caleb wants now that he is presented with the reality of it. It is. He’s not guaranteeing that forever is a sure thing, but for now, for as long as possible, he can be here. 

His vision was fixed on Essek, here in the living room with his back to the front door, as if he had just come home after a long day, and Caleb was sent reeling with the realization that maybe he had.

That’s right, a visual framing in this written medium!!! Positioning the POV so that the front door is behind Essek to reinforce the idea that he has come home. 

“Welcome home, Essek.” Essek’s eyes glistened. “It is good to be home, Caleb Widogast.”

HE’S HOME. THEY'RE HOME. TOGETHER! WITH EACH OTHER!!! I AM PUNCHING THE WALLS!!!

“I love you,” Essek said. “I hope you know that.” Caleb stilled. It was a held breath, finally released. The resolution of a chord.  I love you.  An expected ending—the natural transition into the next refrain, but no less beautiful for it.  I love you.

I love a music metaphor. I love music! You know when there’s a chord or a progression that has tension and you can hear how that should resolve? And then it does? That’s good stuff. And I thought it would be a good comparison to the feeling in this scene. As I said when I discussed Essek’s “oh” moment last chapter, I never intended for love to take either of them by surprise, but even so, it doesn’t lessen the impact of the realization. Good music can feel a lot like that. Like, of course that makes sense to the ear, but you still get chills or you gotta move your body because it resonates. Big fan of resonance. As a physical concept and as an emotional one. 

The feeling had lain dormant for so long, but now, acknowledged and given a name, it bloomed throughout Caleb’s entire body and reached for the light that was Essek. He followed it forward, nuzzling Essek’s cheek, catching the corner of Essek’s lips with his own. “I love you,” he murmured. Essek leaned into the touch. “And I love you.”

Caleb has loved Essek for a while now, but naming it and expressing it—and knowing that it is returned—he experiences it with more clarity. It’s not necessarily of a greater intensity than the moment near the start of the chapter, but it is a different experience of it. Instead of a longing ache or a yearning, he is filled with elation because Essek is in love with him and he is in love with Essek. He knows this now, and when he reaches for him, Essek will be there.

Essek was silent, his face still in a way that usually meant he was working through some new emotion. It occurred to Caleb that this was perhaps the first place Essek had had of his own, to do with as he pleased, since his towers in Rosohna. He stepped beside Essek and placed a hand between his shoulder blades. Essek took a deep breath. “This is wonderful, Caleb. Thank you.”

My purpose in giving Essek his own room as opposed to sharing with Caleb was initially to keep continuity with On the Nature of Attraction, yes, but then I had to think about why I made that choice in the first place, and it’s more than just narrative convenience. Essek is a known introvert, and in my experience as an introvert (with a generous helping of neurodivergence that I dump onto Essek without specificity), having a place I can retreat to where I can decompress without the presence of other people, even people whom I like immensely, is beneficial to my health and well-being. I’m sure Caleb enjoys that privacy and would want Essek to have it as well. 

Essek has been travelling from place to place for the better part of the last year, and prior to that, he was in charge of a very small outpost in the middle of nowhere. The lack of a place for himself and to himself is destabilizing. And with the fact that he must keep his identity secret everywhere he goes, there is a lot of importance in having a space that is not just where he can be alone, but that is representative of himself as well. I think that is key in making the house feel like Essek’s home too, not just Caleb’s. 

“It is no Tower, but it is permanent, and it is safe, and it is yours.”

I decided against the Tower making an appearance in this last chapter for several reasons. First, there is the practical: a room being reliant on you casting a 7th level spell every day will be inconsistent. The Tower is a luxury that I’m sure Caleb uses often, but there may very well be days where he uses up his high level spell slots or wants to save them for emergencies and in those cases, it is worth it to have a real, physical space that he is comfortable in. This leads me to the second reason, which is that part of the point of Essek creating a home here is for consistency and the security that comes with that. Can he have that if he is relying on Caleb to create and design his space on a daily basis?

“Are you tutoring tomorrow?” “I am.” A pit formed in his stomach.  “But you have only just gotten here. I can reschedule it, if you’d like.” Essek shook his head. “No need. I will be here when you return.”

Here, that instinct to make Essek the absolute number one priority, to the detriment of everything else, crops up, an understandable reaction to Essek popping in without much notice or time to spare. But that’s not the case anymore. Caleb will see Essek when he wakes tomorrow and when comes home after work. And the same will happen tomorrow, and for as many days as they are able. 

At the end of the hall, before splitting off into their separate rooms, they stopped. It was a scene that had played out dozens of times before, but now—instead of the pats on arms and short hugs of Aeor, or the bittersweet goodbyes before an indefinite separation—Caleb took Essek by the hand and pulled him close.

And here we are, bringing this story to a close by bringing it full circle. It is another parting, yes, but the angst of previous partings is gone. The separation is only a few feet and a couple hours. Lingering at the doorway is an indulgence they can freely partake in, without awkwardness or anxiety. They will go to bed and rest, safe in the knowledge that tomorrow, they will wake in a house that is theirs, where the person they love resides. 

asldfaslkdjfljskdfjlk How to Rest, my most dearly beloved! It has been such a joy to work on over the last year and a half, and I’m just… really proud of it. I had to talk about it because writing and wizards excite me and I wanted to share that excitement.

Thank you all who have read the fic and read the commentaries. I hope it’s been a fun journey for you as well!

[waltwhitmansbeard]

drabble masterlist

these are all of the drabbles i have written for critical role or the legend of vox machina. they are stand-alone and should be assumed to contain spoilers for either cr or tlovm. they are also collected on ao3 in a work titled worse: we're family. want to prompt me something? see my ask meme tag or just send me an ask with an idea. (please be sure to specify the ask meme your prompt is from, especially if it's not the most recent one i've reblogged!) this post will be linked on my pinned post and updated as new drabbles are posted. i will take prompts for critical role, the legend of vox machina, or my longfic, my fair lady (see my pinned post for more info). i am willing to write characters from any cr campaign, but these are the ships i feel most comfortable/excited to write:

keyleth/vax

vex/percy

vax/gilmore

keyleth/vax/gilmore

caleb/essek

jester/fjord

orym/will

laudna/imogen

dorian/orym

i also really enjoy writing platonic friendships between really any of the cr pcs (or npcs!) so feel free to float those my way as well! you can be as specific or as general as you'd like in prompts.

critical role - campaign one - keyleth/vax

"I need to change the bandage."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for."

The first time they realize their partner will live a large part of their life without them

A near death experience involving the partner meant to live longer shaking the faith of the shorter lived partner

Being an expert in teasing each other

Kissing to make them stop talking

On a whim, pulling your lover into an alley and pressing your lips firmly against theirs, getting lost in each other's touch while the streets bustle outside

Smoothing your fingers down your lover's tie, fixing where your lover couldn't tie it right

Pushing your lover against a wall after one too many teasing comments, but being met with unsaid tension instead of the quiet. Both of you unable to continue with the jokes

Whispering jokes/loving words in a lecture/school/church/a meeting. Trying not to laugh/flirt back in fear of disturbing everyone else who’s trying to pay attention

A hello/good-bye kiss that is given without thinking - where neither person thinks twice about it

An accidental brush of lips followed by a pause and going back for another, on purpose.

"I'll sleep when I'm dead."

"I can't sleep if you're not here to cuddle with me."

Risking something in order to achieve something

Going to sleep as the big spoon and waking up as the little spoon

“I wouldn’t trade you for all the stars in the sky.”

critical role - campaign one - vex/percy

"They're gone, it's okay."

"It's not til death do us part for us, is it? It's until death takes you from me."

"Even if you’re sick, you’re still the prettiest girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse in the world."

"I'll sleep when I'm dead."

Ranting to friends or a relative about the other, only for them to agree and call you out on your wrongdoings

"What have you done to my heart?"

Using the made-up words of their child(ren) in all their conversations

"I think you should kiss me."

critical role - campaign one - everyone else

"Don't move, you're still hurt." (keyleth & percy)

Friends of a recovering person come over to celebrate their homecoming (pike & vax)

Always pointing out certain annoying behaviour (pike/scanlan)

Wet kisses after finding refuge from the rain (vax/gilmore)

Feeling so lonely that they have to call their lover/friend, just to get a sense and reminder that they're still there (keyleth & percy)

Hesitantly tugging the other's fabric of their shirt or sleeve, testing the waters (vesper & gwendolyn)

Lingering with your lips open, touching, but not kissing, and this one glance at their eyes and you say fuck it and pull at their collar to kiss them (vax/gilmore)

"Touch them again and I promise, it will be the last thing you ever do." (vex & vax)

Vex and Percy have to deal for the first time with their eldest teen acting a bit out (percy & wolfe)

"Leave the light on." (keyleth & vilya)

Seeing what the other needs without them having to say it out loud (keyleth & percy)

Sharing something personal (pike/scanlan)

Defending them in front of others (keyleth & scanlan)

Tucking strands of loose hair behind their ears, with a thumb caressing their cheek (vax/gilmore)

Kiss on the forehead (pike/scanlan)

Patching up a wound (scanlan & vax)

Protecting (scanlan & kaylie)

Near death experience (scanlan & vax)

"I looked everywhere for you." (keyleth & pike)

"I'm not going anywhere." (pike & scanlan)

"Holy shit. Are you okay? What the hell happened?" (vex & scanlan)

"You're not weak for needing people." (grog & percy)

Vax meets a young Orym in Zephrah (orym & vax)

critical role - campaign two

"Hey, leave them alone. They just fell asleep." (beau & caleb)

"C'mere, I don't mind letting you sleep on me." (caleb/essek)

"Don't you dare wake them up." (beau & caleb)

"I won't let them put their hands on you." (beau & caleb)

Reassurance in the form of food/movies/games, forcing them to take a second away and relax with you (veth & caleb)

"I am trusting you with that hand, darling. I hope my trust isn't misplaced." (caleb/essek)

Breaking down mid-hug because they just needed this so much (keyleth & vilya)

Helping each other out (jester & caduceus)

Collecting flowers on their way home (beau/yasha)

“As soon as I heard what happened, I dropped everything and rushed over here.” (beau & clara)

“What have I told you about getting into fights?”/“They were talking shit about you!” (beau & caleb)

Giving them their personal space (caleb/essek)

Person A and person B accidentally giving each other flowers at the same time (jester/fjord)

Interlacing their fingers with the other’s when they least expect it (caleb/essek)

Games (beau & jester & veth)

Platonic kisses (essek)

"Look, I made this for you. I also made one for mum/dad/parent." (beau/yasha)

"She's my date. Fuck off." (beau/yasha)

"Get some sleep." (caleb/essek)

critical role - campaign three

Mapping out your lover's features while they sleep in your arm, smoothing your thumbs down their cheeks, throat, collarbones, chin and nose (orym/will)

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." (keyleth/vax)

"That's been known to happen." (fearne & orym)

"Can I hold your hand?" (dorian/orym)

the legend of vox machina - season one

"I need to change the bandage." (keyleth/vax)

"I owe you an apology." (keyleth & vex)

Having a fight with just looks (vex/percy)

"Let yourself cry, I'm here now. You're safe." (keyleth/vax)

"Did you know you talk in your sleep?" (keyleth/vax)

Catching the other one crying shortly after and immediately feeling an overwhelming wave of guilt crash onto you (keyleth & vex)

Sharing a pillow and waking up with their faces only centimetres apart (keyleth/vax)

the legend of vox machina - season two

A missing conversation from 2x08 (keyleth/vax)

Another missing conversation from 2x08 (keyleth & percy)

Letting out their anger in front of them (keyleth/vax)

Doing something silly to cheer them up (keyleth/vax)

Kisses on the cheek when they leave the room (keyleth/vax)

"Darling, you're shivering. Come here, let me warm you up." (vex/percy)

Starting to heal (pike & grog)

Losing your mind when they tilt your chin to look you in the eye (vex/percy)

That glance at your body with their eyes subtly widening, almost gulping as they take in your attire (keyleth/vax)

Resting their head on the other's stomach, only to fall asleep there (vex & trinket)

Opening up about their own struggles when they see the other's problems (keyleth/vax)

Opening up about their own struggles when they see the other's problems (keyleth & vex)

Cold (pike & percy)

“Just say a word and I’ll kill him.” (keyleth/vax)

[your-enby-antihero]

Caleb and the two very hot purple people that are sitting at the next table over

Based on a  tumblr post

Caleb works as a teacher at the Soltryce Academy. His life is fairly normal, not very notable at all, but when he meets two people at a bar he becomes an utter mess.

also available on ao3

—————————————————————————

Chapter 6: Mollymauk Tealeaf and Essek Thelyss go to Dinner with a very Dysfunctional Found Family

Summary: Interactions between the Nein and Molly and Essek. Dinner is had and Molly and Essek spoil the group with gifts.

—————

Molly had gotten a text from Yasha mid day while working on an acrylic piece. Their lavender hands were splattered with muddy blues and greens, a commissioned piece for a wealthy lady that had seen his art. Ophelia Mardoon, she was from Shadycreek and had come in recently for a time and saw some of Molly’s art up in Caduceus’ cafe. She had commissioned something to hang over her fireplace. So when Molly finally got to Yasha’s message it was late evening.

“One new message from 🖤🤍The Charm🤍🖤: Hey Molly Beau wanted me to ask if you and Essek were free to come to Caleb’s celebration dinner after the Soltryce conference :) The rest of the gang is coming too, oh and invite Caduceus Jester has been asking about him”

Molly smiled coyly to themself, looking at the unanswered but read text they had sent to Caleb late the evening before, they remembered having texted Caleb about meeting up for dinner after his presentation but it seemed he already had plans. Poor dear must have felt guilty about having plans already and not have texted back. No matter, Molly was excited to get the whole crew together and meet the friend that Caleb had mentioned. Molly adored children and supposedly Veth’s son Luc was a treat to be around. They called over to Essek, who was in the kitchen knitting. 

Essek popped his head onto the room curiously and walked up to Molly, “darling what can I do for you?”

Molly smiled and pecked Essek on the cheek before handing him their phone carefully so that he would get any paint of Essek’s clothes.

“Yasha was wondering if we wanted to go to a big dinner with Beau and Co. Caleb apparently already had plans to go out with everybody after the Soltryce Conference.”

“Oh well that works out nicely,” Essek smiled, reading the text, “what should we bring as gifts?”

——————

Essek adjusted a pair of star cufflinks that Molly had given him on their 2 year anniversary. His hands ran over the silver outline of a cluster of stylized stars that sat on his cuffs. He smiled listening to Molly ideally chatter about a cute kid they met at the library that day, Kiri Schuster, Essek recalled. Essek sat on their bed, pillows and blankets creating a nest of sorts, meanwhile Molly was leaning towards the mirror of the bathroom and carefully applying a shimmer to their eyelids.

They were meeting up with the gang at Taste of Tal’dorei. Veth had suggested it because she and her husband had taken their son a few times before and after a chaotic and frankly boring day at the Soltryce Conference for most, it would be a good time. 

Essek was delighted that he had gotten home just in time to freshen up before dinner. Even though he had been happy to help out Caleb and lead the “Is Dunamancy your school?” presentation, being around all those (barring Caleb) monstrous Assembly people made Essek feel disgusting.

They climbed into Essek’s car, Molly settling the bags filled with gifts into the trunk before carefully sitting so that the sheer fabric of their cardigan didn’t wrinkle on the car ride over. The sleeveless black turtleneck showing his tattoos proudly and dark leggings warming their legs against the cold leather seats.

Essek wore a very nice dress shirt that Jester described as “a pirate but more professor-y” and a pair of black slacks. As his polished dress shoes stepped onto the gas pedal, they were off.

——————

Once they arrived Molly spotted Yasha, her brilliant white hair shining like a pearl in the restaurant’s lights. They jumped towards her, running to tackle her into a hug. Luckily Yasha’s reflexes were on point and she caught Molly and reciprocated the hug.

“Oh love it has been too long,” they sighed, as they squeezed her as tight as he could.

Yasha laughed, “Molly it’s only been a few days since I saw you.”

They had met up for coffee at Caduceus’ place, just to chat and catch up, since Yasha was so busy running a bar and these last few commissions had been keeping Molly busy.

Beau shouted a snarky greeting and Molly barked one back. Essek smiled and greeted the table as Jester usher him to take his “designated seat”, which just so happened to be directly across from Caleb. He smiled happily at the ginger, who immediately flushed red and awkwardly waved back. 

The meal was passable, the acting was fine, but the company was leagues better. Luc, Veth’s son, was hilarious. Molly was surprised that Yeza, who had seemed like the type to keep an eye on his child’s profanity, was fine, if not blasé, with how many time the tiny halfling had shouted ‘holy fuck’ at the events of the creation of Gwessar. He had also sneakily found the present that Molly and Essek had brought for him, a toy crossbow that Essek had found at a local shop run by a lovely firbolg Pumat Sol. Essek had rigged the crossbow so that the bolt would return to the quiver with some creative use of dunamancy. 

The entire table was laughing and chatting, the atmosphere was full of love and more than a few playful jabs at Fjord by Veth. 

“You’re still weaker than Luc Fjord, look at your stick arms. Here let me help you,” she teased as a mage hand went to grab the jug of ice water from the other side of the table.

Jester and Molly laughed as Fjord gave a half-hearted sigh relinquishing the jug to the hand. The food was served and laughter abounded. 

Molly had passed out all the gifts that the couple had brought, a few nice bottles of liquor, a few cute knick knacks from Rosohna, and a voucher for free babysitting for the Brenattos. A fancy new set of water colours and a mug that read “mmm paint water” on the side with a bag of mug cake mix for Jester. A new mug for Fjord that read “Yes I’m doing my PhD. No, I am not functioning.” The mug was mostly a joke but in it had a gift certificate for a local blacksmithing shop, with a note that said “for when you get that fancy title you’ll need a fancy sword to go with it :P”. For Beau and Yasha they got them new gym memberships to a newer place by where Molly and Essek lived that specialize in providing a space for queer individuals to train in hand to hand and sword combat, and also a promise that Molly would hunt down a tacky singing fish for their bar, as well as a tiny little succulent for Yasha and a pair of new set of rings for Beau. For Caduceus a hand knit big cozy sweater that Essek had been working on and a collection of new jewelry pieces fashioned to look like beetle wings and carapaces that Molly had made. Finally for Caleb a large set of very nice pens with an abnormal amount of stationary paper, a large mug filled with bags of calming teas, and a few cat toys for Frumpkin and maybe a little piece of paper with a note on it for later.

Everyone was surprised but delighted by the gifts, Veth saying something along the lines of “if you only knew me earlier Tealeaf, I’d have drunk you out of house and home,” she chuckled.

The night ended with a glorious fight for the bill, and Caduceus sneakily taking it during the commotion. Beau and Yasha had tried to brute force a win to take the bill and pay for the meal whilst Jester and Fjord tried to smooth talk their way to victory. Veth had tried to sneakily pull it for the check folder and Yeza kept an eye on both Luc and Caleb. Molly had tried to insist and Essek was trying to get away to get to the front counter. Caleb sat embarrassed and red faced, he had attempted to pay but with a few very sweet and slightly violent words he accepted his congratulations dinner.

The night ended there, everyone heading out to their cars and Luc, who was fast asleep, was being carried by Yeza. Jester scrambled to Molly before they stepped into the car.

“Mollyyyyy! Why did you get everyone presents and you didn’t tell me!!! How am I supposed to give you a gift in return,” she whined, her face in a very large pout.

“Jester, you know I couldn’t resist! And plus with everyone here it made it so that we didn’t have to wait for times we could give it to you all separately, it was just perfect timing,” he smiled.

Jester rolled her eyes affectionately, “I’ll get you back during Winter’s Crest, just you wait,” she yelled as Fjord had driven up to them and had shouted for Jester to get in.

Molly slipped into the car, blowing Jester a kiss goodbye. Essek sat down and started the car, the familiar hum filled the night air as the couple sailed across the roads back to their home.

“That sure was fun, wasn’t it love,” Molly asked, their hand propped against the window to support the weight of his face culled in their hand.

Essek smiled as he slipped a piece of his fringe behind a pointed ear, “they sure are a lively bunch.”

“I love it here,” Molly proclaimed, as they pulled back to their apartment.

[duskoscrawl]

hey, in the light of recent jam discoveries, i will admit im feeling very pleased with this fic i wrote a while ago

in the dark - c2 pre-canon

Essek Thelyss will be getting his first anamnesis memories any day now. But before that happens, he still has time to take out of his reading to attend to little brothers who decide to fall in shrubberies and get coated in mud. Everything is going to be fine and Essek is not worried at all (this is a lie).

i love the new jam stuff so much. shout out to small mucky drow who essek loves more than his books (even if he won't admit it)

[essektheylyss]

He is almost startled out of his skin when he receives the message. The tone is soft and calm and perhaps too gentle as Caduceus says, “Hullo, Essek. Hope you’re doing alright. Perhaps you’d like to come by tomorrow, if you have the chance?”

His heart doesn’t quite stop racing as he answers, lets Caduceus know he can arrive for breakfast. He knows what Caduceus Clay sounds like when he is being extra careful about his words.

The Grove is as it always is, blooming with life and color and the sound of three generations of Clays roaming and running, and his feet kiss earth watered by a late spring shower, its offering not yet evaporated from the trees’ leaves.

He ducks his head against the morning’s light, losing part of itself as it pushes valiantly through the canopy to caress the crown of his head. A paper-wrapped package of spices and herbs is tucked beneath his arm as he knocks on the door of the temple and opens the door, a transgression to which the Clays have bullied him gently into growing accustomed.

Most of them are sitting at the table when he enters, ducking his head as though he has any reason to worry about clearing the door. Caduceus stands with a grin to greet him. “An offering,” Essek says, straight-backed, holding himself with a nervous sort of grace, and holds out the package.

“Thank you kindly, Mr. Thelyss,” Constance says, and takes it from him to sort into jars in the pantry. “We have some tea you might like to take with you, when you leave.”

He bows his head gently, and Caduceus presses a steaming ceramic cup of tea into his hand, keeping one for himself, and gestures outdoors.

“I can wait while you finish your meal,” Essek demurs, and Caduceus’ grin only widens.

“No, no, please. I have something to show you.”

The birdsong is not quite what he would consider cacophonous, but it does fill the air enough that he doesn’t notice for a few minutes that they have been walking in pleasant silence, past the pond, into deeper, denser groves of trees.

“What did you care to show me, Mr. Clay?” he asks finally, as they pass beyond where Beau is buried, where Yasha will rest next to her one day, and Caduceus only smiles.

“You know, I know a lot of flowers,” he says, and his steps are leisurely. The sunlight is dim here, where the canopy grows thicker, healthy green trees untouched by the poison of the Savalirwood. “I mean, I don’t know the names of a lot of flowers—well, I’ve given some of them names, but I’d be surprised if anyone but me called them by ‘em—but I’m familiar with a lot of flowers.”

Essek hums in agreement, though he cannot say the same. He is familiar with flowers that have particular arcane abilities, things that grow nicely in Rexxentrum—not that he has tended a garden in Rexxentrum in over a decade. He does not go out of his way to learn flowers. Perhaps he should. He has been moving for so long, since Caleb passed.

It feels often like he doesn’t know how to settle anymore.

His lips curl. “Have you brought me here to suggest I slow down?” he asks, and Caduceus gives him a pointed look.

“I mean, I’ll give you that advice whenever you’d like. But I don’t think you need to hear it from me. You’ll come to that conclusion when you’re ready.”

Essek ducks his head again, wrapping his fingers around the ceramic. Though spring is rushing jackrabbit-quick into summer, there is a chill lingering from the recent rain.

“No, I meant to show you a new flower I’d found. I dug it up and replanted it here, and I think it is quite happy in this spot. I thought you might like to see it.”

Footsteps faltering, Essek blinks. This is not so urgent a request, and he frowns before he catches up to Caduceus.

The shade of a copse of willows covers a blanket of moss, and at the base of the one in the center, a small thicket the copper color of sunset blooms.

“Is that it?” Essek asks, crouching at its edge with careful footsteps, trying not to disrupt the moss. Behind the little bush, an array of flat mushrooms scatter up the willow, a yellow spine.

The flowers are shaped like small bells with red flecks along their frocks. When he tilts one up to meet him with light fingertips, the inside is coated in a pale yellow pollen.

“This is beautiful, Caduceus,” he breathes, and looks up at his friend. Caduceus’ smile is broad.

“It is,” he agrees. “It’s a gift for you.”

His brow ripples. “A gift?”

“Mmhmm,” Caduceus agrees. A glint of sun has started to reach his eyes. “From Caleb.”

Essek’s butt hits the earth as he falls backward, legs splayed like a child. He stares up at Caduceus, squinting against the light. “What?”

“Caleb asked me, a long while ago now, to find something that grew once he was buried in Blumenthal, and plant it here for you,” Caduceus says. “And I had never seen anything like this before.”

The little bush is woody, hearty, and looks as though it has been growing for sometime. “How long have you—“

“I had to make sure it would last the winter,” Caduceus grins. “I called you once it was properly flowering.”

One of the little orange bells rests delicate and soft in his palm, and he marvels at it. Finally, after he has stared at it for sometime, a laugh bubbles to his lips. He presses his other hand to them. “I don’t know what to say.”

Caduceus takes a heavy seat beside him, just as sprawled. Sitting in the soil with a friend and this flowering bush, he feels younger than he has in decades. “He said you should be buried among family.”

Essek laughs, blinking. His watering eyes are only a symptom of light exposure. “I told him Beau and Yasha would be here by the time I am. You as well.”

“I’ll be here,” Caduceus agrees. “But you can never have enough family at your side, hmm?”

Essek twists a single flower from its stem, holding it by its delicate base up to a ray of light. Where the sun hits it, it glows.

[doodamancy]

Note: It’s been a long-ass time since I did any creative writing and, well. Anyway. I don’t know if I will continue this or not, so I’m going to post this as is. I… hope you like it???

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—————

Essek Thelyss… was a puzzling man.

Sat in an arm chair, spellbook in his lap in front of a crackling fireplace within the comfort of a newly familiar space, the haggard Zemnian mage stared thoughtfully into the dancing light within. The window behind him was dark, its partially drawn curtains only half obscuring a clear starlit expanse above and distant shadows just beyond its glass panes.

With a deep intake of breath, Caleb shifted his clear blue gaze from the warm light of his fireplace carefully down at the open page in his lap, one leg crossed over his knee at the ankle to help support his most prized possession. On the page sat a loose piece of paper, curling at the edges and the handwriting spread over its surface all too familiar—it tugged a faint smile onto the red-haired wizard’s lips, fond with a hint of… some other inextricable emotion that tightened in his chest and made him draw in another, sharper, deep breath at the words written in the careful, neat handwriting of one Shadowhand Essek of Den Thelyss.

Caleb,

I hope this letter reaches you well. It has been too long since our last meeting and I would hate for you to think I had forgotten your last words to me—I haven’t. I met with your friend Reani in Uthodurn and have made some interesting connections within the city. I am still laying low, of course, you need not worry.

That being said, I found a few things that I thought might be of interest to you and have been working on something new. I had heard from Jester you recently acquired a new home in Rexxentrum and wished to extend my well wishes, though I am wary of teleporting anything to you as I have no means of guaranteeing its arrival. If it suits you, please send word and, perhaps, an anchor item of your choosing? I would like to deliver these items of interest personally and, perhaps, discuss with you what it is I have been working on. Though, of course, I understand if this is something you are loathe to do yourself.

All the same, I hope you are well. Also, I hope the included Scroll of Sending is not too presumptuous, but as much as I love hearing of all the members of Mighty Nein’s exploits in their various parts of Exandria, there are some things… I would rather hear directly from you. I understand, of course, that you had not bothered to learn this spell before, while traveling with the Mighty Nein, but now? Surely, it would be of some use to you, I hope, beyond just keeping in touch with me.

Yours,

Essek

Something about the way the drow’s writing, almost too formal in its wording that was entirely too Essek, stretched across the paper, some strokes blotching ever so slightly in places as if the older mage hesitated, unsure what to say or how to say it. Almost as if there were so many things still left unsaid, particularly in the final paragraph. Caleb couldn’t also help but notice how contrasted the typical formal language Essek used was to the particularly familiar way his Kryn friend first addressed him and closed the letter. “Yours.” The word stood out to him as an interesting choice, the fond smile growing fractionally wider. He couldn’t help but also notice how the ink pooled at the end of the “s,” as if hesitating… wondering, perhaps, if it were an appropriate ending.

Of course, when Beauregard showed up at his doorstep earlier with this letter and scroll, carefully stowed together in a fairly standard scroll case, Caleb had no idea who would send something so cryptically addressed to him through the Expositor. But, in retrospect, he had to admit it made sense. It had been nearly a month since he last saw Essek, parting ways sometime in the aftermath of their fateful battle with one certain archmage of the Cerberus Assembly. Caleb still loathed to think of his old teacher, still wrapped up in the grueling trials and political red tape following, but rested more peacefully now than he had since early childhood knowing Trent Ikithon had no chance of escaping his ill fate with how things were progressing.

But… Essek. Not a moment passed that he didn’t wonder what the Shadowhand was up to. He couldn’t lie, the knowledge that the Kryn mage also thought of him, made his chest swell with an almost painful warmth, tinged slightly by unexpected longing. A hand rose to roughly rub over his mouth and lower cheeks, finding some grounding comfort in the familiar scratch of his trimmed beard.

“Well, I think I might just be up a little later than usual tonight,” he quietly mused to himself, the words rumbling from his lips in his native tongue. Carefully, he rolled the letter back up and turned to the end table next to him, picking up the scroll case standing on its dark wood surface, and slowly reinserted the letter for safe keeping. He would find a more suitable place to store it later, right now his thoughts were occupied with the materials he would need to gather from his desk to transcribe this new spell into his spellbook.

[callioope]

Wind brushes Caleb’s hair as Essek whirls away from him. In his wake, Caleb pauses for just a second, a delighted smile bursting across his face as he watches Shadowhand Essek Thelyss enjoying himself. And then he follows. 

It only takes a minute to reach the platform of B9, but to Caleb, time seems to freeze in the cold Aeorian air. As if suspended in some dunamantic spell, Caleb allows himself to forget anything outside this moment.

Mostly oblivious to the others, except to vaguely shepherd them in the right direction, Caleb and Essek dance. They weave and bob in complicated twirls and tumbles, an air ballet they choreograph as they go. Caleb had always loved dancing; in the past year or so he’d danced several times, with Jester, with Astrid. 

This is different. This is somehow familiar, and yet entirely new, and he can’t pretend the light, buoyant feeling in his chest is a side effect of his Fly spell alone. 

Other than the recent experience of ascending the tower with Essek, Caleb can’t recall ever seeing him so playful. Of Essek’s acerbic wit, Caleb has plenty experience, but this? Being silly? It’s a stark contrast to anything he’d seen before, especially since they’d reunited with him in Eiselcross. 

At the start of this descent, when Caleb had whizzed past, he’d seen a glint of mischief in Essek’s eyes, as if to say, “Challenge accepted,” and then the other wizard spun past him. It’s a game, it’s spurring each other on, and it’s exhilarating. Caleb hasn’t felt pushed like this since — since … well, since a very long time ago. And he wants to keep going, feels compelled to continue to coax that spark of mischief and uninhibited laughter from Essek again.

And then their feet touch the ground.

The spell ends. 

Their friends settle around them. Caleb can feel their curious stares and in response can feel his face flushing, despite the cold. 

“That was beautiful Essek!” Jester declares. “You’re so graceful!”

Essek straightens up, like suddenly remembering himself, and his cheeks darken. Over his shoulder, Caleb sees Beau smirk. 

“That was nice,” Caduceus says. “A good lift of spirits, I think.”

“I suppose some levity was in order,” Essek says.

Beau snorts.

“Oh, I see what you did there,” Caduceus says, smiling. He pauses. “Oh, I see what I did there. Isn’t that fun?”

“Alright,” Beau says, rolling her eyes and nodding towards the tunnel leading deeper into the ruins. “Let’s not get carried away on flights of fancy.”

“Here I thought getting carried away by flight was your thing,” Fjord counters. 

“Now now kids,” Veth chimes in, “no need for a falling out.” She pauses. “Fjord’s hair already did that.”

Fjord frowns and runs his hand through his newly returned locks, as everyone laughs, until Jester consoles him with a pat on the arm. Still spewing flight puns, the group coalesces around the wizards and takes their turn to shepherd them deeper into B9. 

Something has shifted, Caleb can tell. Not just with the group’s feelings towards Essek, but his own. Since they first entered Aeor, everything’s built towards this moment: every chance to see Essek’s magic actually put to use, beyond their constant commissions to teleport them around Wildmount. Every moment of contemplative conversation, tearing down walls brick by brick, word by word. Every glimpse at the side of Essek he must have spent decades burying, the echo of what he must have been before the mantle of Shadowhand had burdened his shoulders. 

It was that latter that did it. Yes, Essek’s perfectly chiseled features and gifted mind had always set Caleb’s own face flushing and thoughts reeling; the parallels between their life stories had always suggested the potential for a deep connection. But this carefree Essek, teased out by the determined work of the Mighty Nein, this person who was beautiful and who understood him in a way no one else had, who also takes delight in a giddy, ridiculous competition of Fly gymnastics?

Caleb might have landed softly on that platform, but he’d fallen hard. 

And again, as if pulled by gravity, he drifts close to Essek and glances at his face only to find Essek already looking back at him. As their eyes meet, Essek’s lip curls in a subtle smile — almost bashful, amazingly. Who’d have thought the arrogant Shadowhand could look so soft?

“You are full of surprises,” Caleb says, returning the smile. 

“I find it keeps life interesting,” he says. 

And in that moment, Caleb is struck with the knowledge, despite never being interested in divination magic, that as long as he keeps Essek Thelyss in his life, he’ll never be wanting for adventure.

[aboxthecolourofheartache]

Prompt meme: Essek & the Nein + Shadowgast -- there are countless ways to justify company

I really wanted to get this one finished before the final ep, and hoo boy did it get down to the wire. This is Essek & the Nein rather than shippy, but it does fit the prompt!

~

cw: insects, Essek-typical fatalism, oblique mention of suicidal ideation joke cw: excessive idyllic Blooming Grove purple prose, maudlin pseudo- emotional hurt/comfort

~

Calliope steps in from outside and scans the room for her recently-returned brother. Lamplight and illusion light play over her face. The Nein huddle around their purple tiefling while Caleb projects images in shades of amber onto a blank wall. She sees the hooks where her mother temporarily took down a framed tapestry. It’s rolled up, carefully tucked beside the pantry out of harm’s way. Faces she does not recognize light up the room. Caduceus presides over the whole affair with his usual smile of placid benevolence. Calliope isn’t fooled. He’s drinking tea from their mother’s favorite mug, not his.

She hesitates. If Caduceus is already out of sorts, maybe she should fumble her way through rather than adding to his worries.

But he looks up, catches her eye, and his ears swivel inquiringly. She doesn’t miss how his gaze darts behind her for a glimpse of the cool night outside.

Calliope revises her assessment; she’s handing him a polite excuse, not a burden.

Caduceus sets down their mother’s mug on his vacated stool to join her at the door. They slip just outside to speak quietly.

“What is it?”

“Your fancy drow friend is down by the spring getting mud on the seat of his pants.” Calliope shrugs one shoulder.

“Ah…” Caduceus scratches his cheek with tattered nails. He has a long, bald line down the side of his neck that looks much too much like the marks a hawk leaves on a rabbit for Calliope’s liking. Even with magical healing, it’s not new.

Calliope studies her brother. “Remind me of his name, and I can-”

Caduceus shakes his head. “Nah. Thanks.”

He rests a hand on her shoulder for just too long and squeezes just too hard. She takes a sister’s prerogative and sticks a finger into his armpit. When rears his head back, startled, she blows him a kiss and hurries through the door before he can retaliate in good humor. As soon as he’s certain she’s out of earshot, he chuckles to himself. Mother’s Blessings, but he has missed his family. Every moment with them now feels all the sweeter for thinking he would never see them again in life.

There’s a stump by the front door with odds and ends yet to be put away but not to go into the house. A pair of pruning shears, a metal file, some nice rocks. Caduceus picks amongst the assembled straw hats and gloves until he extracts a lantern. Its reservoir holds enough oil to last him a good while, and he breaks a frayed straw from a hat to light it from the lantern above the door.

Essek might be able to see by starlight alone, but Caduceus needs the help on moonless nights like this. He shoos a moth away from the lantern to close it.

“Hmm… There’s a good idea.”

Hinges creak when he opens the shed door. Insects parade behind his light and follow him in to search the shelves. One flies directly into a spider web. Ah, nature…. Caduceus smiles, humming a little, and takes a squat glass jar candle down. There’s a scant disc of wax at the bottom of the jar, and the sides are sooty black. Once he wipes off enough dust to check the label, and tucks it under his arm.

Caduceus is not a particularly stealthy person, but he knows the Grove like he knows his goddess loves him. Tree roots, headstones both upright and fallen, and errant lilac branches pose no obstacle as he follows the gentle slope to the spring. He snags a few borage flowers to munch as he walks, lantern swinging like a little bobbing boat of light on its pole before him.

The grave markers thin out the farther he goes. Of course, not all graves are marked, but the Clays know better than to plant the dead too close to their potable water. Caduceus crests the berm dug house-side of the spring for flood control and looks out over the pool.

Night-dark water, scattered with stars.

With near-to-no breeze, it’s only the constant feed of water from the spring moving the surface. Still is a relative term for a pool full of tiny swimming things. If life were light, this place would sear the eye. Right now, darkness fills the glade. The Grove rustles and chirps its nighttime music.

Essek’s feet are bare. Caduceus notices this not because he can see said feet, but because he walks by Essek’s boots on the path to the water. He scans around. The lantern doesn’t have the range of light the crystal on his staff might, or Caleb’s pretty dancing glow-blobs.

“Here.” Essek calls quietly from some fifty feet away. He sounds amused, probably because Caduceus is turning circles in the dark. If he’s giving away his position, that’s a good sign. He might have stayed quiet.

Caduceus’ heart rate slows. He tamps down the insidious voice that tries to pass itself off for caution. Some part of him, however small, was ready to turn back if met with silence. Some part of him, however smaller, was bracing to find Essek, silent, shrouded in the mint and the cattails and the irises in the pink of dawn.

Fear, the pervasive kind that lights up the body as well as the mind, especially fear for the survival of self and loved ones, takes time to wash away in the flow of peace. A frog plops inelegantly into the pool. Caduceus rubs his thumb under the ridge of his brow, sighs, and breathes in a lungful of quiet nighttime air.

He squelches in Essek’s direction, not bothering to look for footprints to track the way. There’s a few strands of white, curly hair caught on a low-hanging branch, though. Caduceus grins. The Grove has its own sense of humor. Some of that humor materializes in the form of bugs. Wings big and small flutter and buzz around the lantern. This is why the Clays’ lanterns are closed; picking charred insect corpses out of the oil gets tedious, as does digging them from wax before it cools.

Essek moved surprisingly far off the path to choose his place by the pool. Probably because he can float. Caduceus can’t imagine Essek enjoying a barefoot tromp through mud. As it is, he’s picked a silty bank almost low enough to be called a beach. He floats above the ground, of course, even seated cross-legged as he is.

Caduceus makes enough noise rattling through the reeds that he feels no need to announce himself. That, and the light. Essek delicately shields his eyes from the bright little oil flame. Caduceus sets the lantern and jar candle down to push aside plantlife - startling a rabbit into flight - until he finds a suitable leaf. As big around as his circled arms, the rubbery leaf will keep his bottom from getting soggy when he sits on the bank. Not everyone can float at will. Some people have to worry about soggy bottoms.

He settles near - but not next to - Essek. He blows a moth from the glass to open the lantern, using the hot oil flame to light a twig and subsequently quicken the jar candle. The wick is slow to catch, but when it does, he extinguishes the twig in the wet sand.

“Keeps the bugs off,” Caduceus explains, pinching out the lantern. He can’t see as well now, but the candle ought to be kinder on Essek’s eyes, sensitive to begin with and now acclimatized to the dark.

“You brought most of them with you, Mr. Clay.” Essek, still amused, does Caduceus the favor of drifting into the dim edge of the candlelight.

Silence comes easy to both of them, so they are quiet. Yet, Caduceus does have a friend’s obligation to pry a bit, if only to be told to stop prying.

“Nice night.”

“Mm,” Essek agrees. A minnow flips quick as lightning, landing with hardly a splash or a ripple. Reflected stars shimmer and settle. “The oldest Luxon temples all have a stargazing pool under a dome with an oculus. Today, they are an affectation by the elite, decorating courtyards. Fools even build such pools in Rosohna.” He huffs a sharp, quiet laugh. “Perpetual dark or no, the city produces enough light to render any such pool nothing but a vapid ornament. I had three.”

Caduceus knows this is soliloquy, not conversation, so he holds quiet. That ‘had,’ though. Caduceus makes note of that ‘had.’

Essek gazes down at the stars. When he speaks again, it is the softest murmur. “I always wanted to see the natural sky in a natural pool.”

Quiet.

With a brisk shiver, Essek pulls his manners together. “Mr. Clay, my apologies. You’ve left your warm house and your friends, and I doubt it was to listen to me drip sentiment everywhere. If you were sent to find me, I am found, and well. Merely enjoying the night in your beautiful Grove.”

Not a full day ago, Essek openly shed tears for a person neither he nor Caduceus had ever met. Now, he’s back to apologizing for being anything other than pleasant and saying things like ‘had’ and ‘your friends.’ Caduceus owes Calliope a huge hug and a batch of caraway flatbreads.

Caduceus tosses an idle pebble into the pond, disturbing the stars and the little fish. He can’t see them, but he bets Essek can pick out flickers of scale underwater. “Any fish in those ponds of yours?”

Essek shakes his head. “None.”

“Then this pool’s definitely better.”

“I agree entirely.”

Another pebble into the pond, and Caduceus asks, “Is that stardust thing true?”

“Your pardon?” Essek, now engaged in something resembling conversation, seems off-put.

“I heard someone say we’re all stardust.”

“Oh, that.” Essek tips his head. “Over-simplified, but true.”

Caduceus sits back and tilts his face up to the real stars above. “That’s nice,” he says. “That’s lovely. I wouldn’t have known that’s true if you weren’t here to tell me. We're not the Mighty Eight.”

Quiet, again.

Essek’s laugh is more of a sigh. “Point taken.” He, too, looks up. “It really is too lovely a truth not to share.”

Caduceus smiles. “You wanna go back to our friends at the house? Candle’s getting low. I didn’t not get eaten by a city to get eaten by bugs in my own home.”

“...Would you mind terribly if we stay until it goes out? Our friends are, ah, loud.”

“That they are.” Caduceus chuckles. “Yeah. We can stay out a bit longer.”

[the-kaedageist]

This scene was cut from my most recent chapter of More Things in Heaven and Earth, and as it is cute and not spoilery, I thought I would post it here! You don’t really need any familiarity with that fic to enjoy this interlude, other than knowing that Caleb is currently in Guinevere’s body and Essek is in Oskar’s, and they are in Rexxentrum.

---------------------------------------------

As they made their way back through the gate to the Shimmer Ward, Caleb shaded his eyes against the setting sun, struck by another idea. “It is nearly time for dinner,” he said, “and I know just the place, if you are interested?”

Essek nodded. Caleb began to lead him back through the streets of the Shimmer Ward, towards Soltryce and the neighborhoods that he’d frequented in his youth. Things here and there were different – it was hard to say if it was due to time’s passage or the fact that they were in another universe – but the majority of the city remained the same, and Caleb began to grow excited at the thought of sharing his favorite beer hall with Essek. Perhaps he could invite him for a dance…

They came to a stop in front of the place where the beer hall should have stood. Caleb glared with utter disdain at the upscale wine bar that had taken its place.

Essek wandered up to the window and peered inside curiously, his eyes alight. “This is where you intended to take me?” he asked with a small, pleased smile.

Caleb bit his lip, his frustration dying as quickly as it had flared up in the face of Essek’s enthusiasm. “It was intended to be a beer hall,” he said. “This was my, ah, old haunt when I was a student; it appears, in this world, that it has been gentrified. But I think you would be interested in trying it anyway?”

“I have not had as many opportunities to sample Empire wines as I would have liked,” Essek said. “Shall we?”

The wine bar that had replaced Hofbräuhaus had a cozy, dark interior lit with magical fairy lights, with a dimly lit map of the Menagerie Coast painted across the side and large, plush booths lining the walls The new ownership had retained the dance floor that featured so prominently in Caleb’s memories, but redecorated it with dark, stained wood flooring and lovely crimson curtains. Beautiful carvings of Nicodranas and other cities of the Menagerie Coast dotted the walls, and Caleb found his gaze caught by a particularly fetching relief of a very familiar building as he and Essek were led to a small, out of the way booth. The Lavish Chateau looked very similar in this world, it would seem, and he was immensely pleased to see it still existed.

They were seated in a booth that was plush beyond belief; Caleb immediately sunk into the crushed velvet of the upholstery. Across from him, Essek’s eyes crinkled into a smile as the dragonborn host left them with menus etched in a tiny, neat hand and glasses of water.

It was absurdly high class, far more than the beer hall had been. Essek looked positively delighted by every detail.

Caleb glanced down at the menu, squinting to read the details. “They have Lionett wine,” he said immediately, his eye catching on the familiar name.

Essek raised an eyebrow. “Beauregard’s family?”

“Interesting that the d��cor is themed after the Menagerie Coast, yet the wine is from the Empire,” Caleb observed.

A stuffy-looking waiter popped up at his elbow, surprising him. “Actually, we carry a wide variety of selections from all across the Marrow Valley, western Wynandir, and the Menagerie Coast,” the man said. He was wearing spectacles and had a neat little moustache, exactly as Caleb would have expected of such a place.

“And eastern Wynandir?” Essek asked, his expression deeply serious, which Caleb had learned was one of his tells that he was absolutely fucking with someone. “I have heard the Dynasty has many fine vintages.”

The waiter scoffed. “I’m sure they do, but you try getting those shipped into Rexxentrum with the war on. Might I suggest a bottle of ’20 Plumgroves Red? That was the year the hurricane swept through Feolinn, and only 300 bottles were ever produced. A rare delicacy, to be sure.” 

Essek’s eyes lit up.

“And undoubtably quite expensive,” Caleb said carefully, immediately knowing they didn’t have the cash for such a purchase. “I think we are looking for something more…affordable.”

The waiter didn’t even blink, reaching into his pocket and whisking out two more menus. “Here is our tasting menu, which may be more to your purse’s liking,” he said. Despite the lack of judgment in his voice, he’d lost much of his salesman’s panache with the realization that they weren’t high rollers.

Essek scanned the smaller menu. “I think perhaps we would be interested in the Feolinn sampler,” he said. He glanced up at Caleb. “If that is to your liking?”

Caleb smiled. “Anything you wish to try, my friend.” They also put in an order for a few of the small-plate dinner items in the Menagerie Coast style to be shared between them and the waiter left them to themselves, returning a few moments later with the sampler of Feolinn wines.

Essek sipped at the first offering the moment the waiter had vanished, closing his eyes while tasting it. Caleb watched, amused and just enjoying being present with him, distracting him from the events of the coming day; he could focus just on Essek, his reactions and his soft questions and his occasional smile, with soft music from the small quartet in the corner. Despite his pique at his favorite beer hall being replaced, the wine bar’s romantic atmosphere was absolutely perfect.

“How is it?” he asked as Essek sipped the first sampler once more.

He made a face. “Interesting. Drier than most Dynasty vintages, although I suppose perhaps that is the style.”

“I had no idea you were as much a wine snob as Beauregard,” Caleb said with a laugh. “Although I suppose you did bring us that expensive bottle back in Rosohna.”

 “Wine was one of the markers of status in my family,” Essek said. “I was trained to know it well.” He sampled the second option, his face much more agreeable. “This is much better,” he added.

“We shall have to bring you and Beauregard out to have wine together,” Caleb said with a small smile. “I think you will find much to speak on.”

The small plates arrived soon after, with samplings of various types of Menagerie Coast fare – richly seasoned carrots and asparagus, a delightful mix of seafoods, and some interesting spiced potato fritters. Caleb and Essek split the dishes between them, and it was quite nice to indulge in dinner, just the two of them, in a city that had once captured his heart and then broken it into a million pieces.

By the time they finished eating, Essek had already snagged the waiter for a second sampler, this time of Marrow Valley wines. Caleb could feel a pleasant tipsiness settling through him; he was used to having much more alcohol tolerance than Guinevere.

He looked over at Essek, who was critiquing his current sampler of wine with a delighted expression on his face that suggested he’d rather be nowhere else but there. Caleb couldn’t draw his eyes away. Even in a body that was not his own, in a world that was completely foreign, Essek was the brightest thing in the room.

Essek stopped speaking mid-sentence when he caught Caleb’s stare. “What?” he asked.

Caleb knew the smile that spread across his face was far too fond, but had absolutely no incentive to hide it. “It is nice, to see you so passionate.”

A flush went up the back of Essek’s neck, all the way to the tips of his ears. The small quartet in the corner struck up a new tune, soft and romantic. A few patrons from other booths began to move to the dance floor, and Caleb had the sudden impression that this was a popular date spot.

He reached over and took Essek’s hand, not sure if it was the haze of the alcohol, the rich attraction between them, or the strangeness of this world, but caught up in the magic of him all the same. It was strange, to realize that despite the revelations of the evening before, despite the coming day with all of its challenges, Caleb was happy.

[romeoandjulietyouwish]

Fjorester Week Day 3: Family

Read on ao3

Jester clutches Fjord’s hand nervously as they walk down the street. Nicodranas is bustling at this time of night, more so than usual. In the recent weeks the city has been abuzz with gossip as the Ruby of the Sea’s secret daughter returned to her hometown to open up a new art gallery. And tonight is the grand opening. 

Jester fights down her nerves as they get closer and closer to the gallery. Both of them are dressed up to the nines. Jester is wearing a glistening white dress with flowers embroidered on the hem, the skirt falls almost to the floor. Fjord’s tie matches Jester’s dress and he wears a light grey suit and a lollipop tie pin. 

Jester is sure Fjord can feel her sweaty palm as they turn the corner. Only three buildings down from the Lavish Chateau is a small brick building with the words Lavorre Art Gallery painted on the facade. It’s still early so there’s no crowd yet, but Jester knows that within an hour the street will be packed. It had been surprisingly easy to find and purchase this building, especially considering it’s proximity to the Chateau. Jester and Fjord spent the last five months transforming the building into the art studio of Jester’s dreams. 

The whole second floor has been converted into an art studio with plenty of room for canvases, paints, pencils, and any art supply she could desire. The first floor was renovated into a gallery with more than enough room for all of Jester’s paintings. 

Jester takes a deep breath and leans into Fjord’s shoulder as they walk towards the gallery. He smiles down at her and squeezes her hand. When they walk inside Jester breaks into a huge grin at the sight of everyone inside. She invited all of her friends to come early so they could have some time before the crowd comes. 

Inside are Beau and Yasha looking at a pastel drawing of  Xhorhas. Caleb and Essek talking with Kingsley, all three of them holding champagne flutes. Veth and Yeza are walking around, just looking at all the paintings while Luc swings off of Caleb’s arm. And Caduceus talking to Marion and Babenon. When Jester and Fjord enter everyone turns to look at them. 

“Hi!” Jester says. She goes to add on, but before she can her mother crosses the room and scoops her into a big hug. 

“I’m so proud of you, my love,” Marion whispers in her ear, planting a kiss to the side of her head.

“Thanks, mama,” Jester says with a grin. When she looks up, all of her family is surrounding her with proud smiles. Fjord stands a little behind them all and when she meets his eyes he's looking at her with such adoration that it nearly makes her melt. 

“Thank you guys for coming!” She bounces on the balls of her feet in excitement. “Okay so,” she looks at them all, a glimmer in her eye, “part of why I wanted you to come early is because I have gifts for all of you.” Jester claps her hands together and rushes over to the storage closet where she had stashed seven paintings the day before. 

“You didn’t have to do that, Jester,” Beau tells her. 

Jester shakes her head, “You guys are my family and you all helped me get here. I wanted a special way to say thank you.” With that she takes the first painting off the stack. 

“Beau and Yasha.” She hands the first canvas to Beau. On it is a painting of the two women facing away, holding hands. They are silhouetted by a brilliant sunset and the ground by their feet is filled with wildflowers. 

“Caleb and Essek.” This painting is of Essek and Caleb in profile, their heads bowed together, eyes closed. Around their heads are stars and fractals. 

“Veth, Yeza, and Luc.” This painting is of the three of them at the beach. Veth and Yeza hold onto Luc’s hands as he splashes in the water, all three of their faces scrunched up in happiness.

“Mama and dad.” This painting is a traditional portrait. Babenon stands behind Marion, looking over her shoulders with a small smile. In Marion’s arms is a little blue tiefling child, about four years old who looks at the two of them with adoration. 

“Kingsley.” This painting depicts Kingsley in his full pirate garb, swinging on one of the ropes, smiling brilliantly, the rest of the Nein behind him cheering him on. 

“Caduceus.” The last painting shows Caduceus with his arms around his family in the Blooming Grove. The seven of them smile happily, dirt on their faces and hands. 

As everyone is looking at their paintings, thanking her and telling her how beautiful they are, Jester walks over to Fjord and extends the last one to him. Of all the paintings, this is the one she is most nervous about. He gives her a fond look and takes it silently. 

The image is of the two of them dancing, smiling at each other in the way only two people deeply in love can. In the background is the beach and both symbols of the Traveler and the Wildmother. But the part she’s nervous about is the two gold bands that clearly are painted on both of their hands. 

It takes Fjord a moment to find the detail and when he does he looks up at Jester with a smile, “Does this mean what I think it means?” 

Jester grins and from her pocket pulls out a gold ring from her pocket. “I’m not going to get down on my knees because my dress is too pretty to get it dirty,” Jester begins. He shakes his head with a laugh. “Shush,” she tells him, “I’m trying to propose.” He shuts up. “Fjord, we both know that I don’t always know the right thing to say or the best way to express my feelings. But I know I love you and I know that there is nothing I would rather do than spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?” 

“Of course I will,” Fjord says. She hears their family cheer as he pulls her in by the waist and kisses her. They’re both smiling too wide for it to be a proper kiss, but it feels just as magical. When they pull apart, Jester takes Fjord’s hand and slips the ring on his finger. Fjord blushes and says, “I, uh,” he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a black ring box, “I was going to propose tonight too.” Jester laughs and stands on her toes to kiss him again. 

“You can propose to me after the party,” she tells him. “You can talk about how proud you are and how much you love me and-”

“Okay, okay, okay,” Fjord shakes his head fondly. “You can’t spoil my whole speech.” 

“Then you should have gone first,” Jester teases. “I thought mine was pret-ty romantic, good luck topping it. You know-” Fjord cuts her off by pulling her into another deep kiss.

[firefrightfic]

Self Love Retrospective

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought to the world in 2021. Tag as many creators as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Tagged by @wajjs Thank you <3

1. In the Closet of Our Discretion (Caleb/Essek, clothing kink, M) My favourite fic that I wrote in 2021, out of year where I rather neatly launched myself out of my comfort zone and fandom into new and unknown territory. It was so much fun to write a fic that was, essentially, almost entirely build up, with lots of worldbuilding included for the culture of the Dynasty, based on the simple idea of 'what if Dynasty fashion and status was built on the idea of how many layers someone wears?'. It also let me add a whole other layer badumdumpish to the pining the wizards do in canon, which of course wasn't already fraught with tension enough. Very proud of it, A+,100% will torment Caleb more in the future. Plus, I still love the visuals for Essek's outfits that I came up with.

2. All Things in Perspective (Verin focused, background Caleb/Essek, fake character death, M) My first real big Critical Role fic, because I fell in love with the idea of Essek's himbo lawful good younger brother after the post-campaign 2 wrap-up aired and just wanted to throw all my feelings about him at the wall. There are some ideas in it that I probably would change if I were to write it again now, many more months down the line into making my own headcanons about the Dynasty and Den Thelyss, but ultimately it was great fun to look at the M9 and Essek's relationships through the perspective of an outsider who wasn't there to see Essek's slow transformation through the power of friendship, and instead gets slapped in the face with it all at once.

3. Borne by Light (Essek focus, eventual Caleb/Essek, bad ending AU, M) This fic is still a WIP, but it let me combine the Essek, champion of the Luxon, headcanon with a 'the good guys lose' ending and then look at the potential of what can happen after that. It still has a ways to go in terms of story but the ideas at play are things I'm very excited about exploring, and just y'know, the fun of putting your favourite characters through their worst case scenarios and seeing them come out the other side. Plus, hey, let's explore religious trauma and scepticism in a world where higher powers and gods 100%, undeniably exist, and the one guy who really, really doesn't want this basically being put in the position of the one to save the world (except in actual fact all he wants to do is save his friends).

4. Set in Stone (Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, T). Okay, technically this story was actually written in 2020, but I published it online in 2021 so I'm counting it. There is so much still to say about all the things comics canon has never addressed about what Jason went through after his death and resurrection and this fic was my chance to address a very big part of his trauma that has never been explored, as well as take a more hardline look at Jason and Bruce's relationship against the usual fandom (and recently canon) choice to sweep their differences neatly aside. It was also the first ever story I wrote and published for a fanzine and I'm immensely proud of it.

5. Shadowgast Omegaverse series (Caleb/Essek, alpha/omega E) Yes, yes, technically cheating to include a series, but since realistically it's all one story I'm doing it. Omegaverse has always been my jam since I started writing fic, and it's refreshing to take it into a new fandom where it hasn't been explored extensively (at least from what I've seen). Worldbuilding is actually one of my favourite aspects of the trope and this series has given me a lot of room to play with presenting different sides between the characters and the cultures they come from, while essentially also writing a redo of canon through that lens.

6. From Past to Present (Caleb/Essek. T) My first Critmas fic. I'm sneaking this one in as my last fic of 2021. I had the idea for a homebrew Dunamancy spell, and of course, one of Caleb's canon love languages is gift giving, so naturally I ended up writing a story where he creates said spell as a gift for Essek. It also has the requisite lifespan angst, and its at the heart of why the spell is created in the first place. I just love soft wizards, and getting to write them at an advanced stage in their relationship, still hopelessly in love with each other, was everything. I really enjoyed writing this one.

Okay, I'll stop there, even though I could throw up a lot more. 2021 was really about exploring new fandoms for me (I also did some Devil May Cry and Castlevania fic) after six years of writing nothing but DC comics, and super refreshing from the point of getting to explore new ideas because of that XD Much thanks to the new people who have come to enjoy my stories in that time, as well as to those older followers from my DC fics who have stuck with me still, as well <3

Free tag out there to anyone who sees this and would like to do it. Celebrate yourselves and all the good work you do!

[saphirered]

The Wizard and the Warrior

Boy it’s been busy. Double shifts whenever I’ve been free and uni starting again have really been a hassle but I managed to get in some writing so I hope you enjoy this final instalment of the Eldritch Knight series! Was going to split this one in two parts but didn’t work out so sorry for that. Hope you like it! 😘

You didn’t know what to expect when you were pulled through the world away from the homey Xhorhaus but you definitely didn’t expect the sound of waves in the distance and seagulls, the subtile smell of salt water and sand and an ocean breeze to hit you when you reappeared. Upon your vision taking in the new surroundings you find yourself standing under one of the opal archways looking out over a covered market selling all sorts of goods from street foods and drinks to knickknacks and jewellery, merchants calling for the attention of the people strolling about, negotiating prices or shouting their latest discount to pull in new customers. You’re in Nicodranas. 

Essek knew he made the right decision when he sees the joy and excitement on your face. His feet tap the ground and he walks instead of floating, not wanting to draw any more attention that necessary and instead just enjoy these moments with you without the possibility of people finding out who you really are. Today you’d just be normal people without the weight of the world balanced on your shoulders. Today you got to be ordinary tourists exploring a city you otherwise never could. Nobody knows you’d be here. 

You stroll about the market arm in arm moving from shop to shop and stand to stand inspecting wares, admiring them and listening to the stories the merchants tried to sell you. Both of you knew better and were able to easily distinguish truth from lies but that didn’t mean you didn’t like playing along every so often. 

When you reached near the end of the market square the canopies started leaving gaps and eventually disappeared. Essek did his best to hide his winces whenever the sunlight was particularly bright. The sun was setting but it would still be another hour or so until it was fully set and he might have underestimated the brightness of the light. He didn’t let it bother him and pulled through. The slight discomfort is one-hundred percent worth looking upon your face as you bartered with another merchant. 

Essek was partially blinded from where he stood while you browsed the wares of a man selling all sorts of curiosities but he couldn’t really move elsewhere without leaving your side or stepping into the path of walking people so he stuck and stayed relying on his hearing instead. You were bartering with the man as he put prices to the things you showed interest in and you tried to get a better price because you were fully aware you could get something similar if not the same for much cheaper. Essek couldn’t do anything but admire your skill and careful navigation of this encounter showing you had not left your wits with your armour back in Rosohna.

Once you got a good deal you bought your findings; a wide sheer shawl more like a thin blanket to wrap around your shoulders as you knew upon nightfall the breeze could bring a chill, a decorated silver bracelet with an inset purple gem that showed silver specks like stars whenever it caught the light just right and something else… Once done you pulled Essek aside into the full cover of one of the canopies and Essek was thankful for the break.

You’d expected Essek to have broken or admitted to his discomfort before when you noticed him wince every time the canopy lifted upon the wind and allowed the sun to bleed through right where he stood. You knew drow senses are attuned to darker spaces and in turn therefor experience a sensitivity to daylight. 

“Will you stop being stubborn and just admit when something bothers you?” You say sternly as Essek rubs his eyes to get rid of the dark spots clouding his vision. When he sees the look you give him he bites his lip in shame. Apparently he hadn’t done such a good job of hiding it after all. 

“I may not be able to do anything about the sunlight but I can do this.” You take out a parasol of a dark grey almost black colour with ornate lace designs added to it. It does enough to shield those under from the light and should prevent Essek from experiencing downsides of his drow heritage. Before he can protest you link your arm with his again holding the parasol above the two of you and shield yourselves from the light. 

“Don’t worry. You can thank me by providing your company over a meal with me until the sun sets and we can go outside again without you burning off your retinas. I know just the place.” You smile as you begin leading Essek away to a different part of the city. You may not be the most familiar with Nicodranas but you know how to get to most places you’ve been before. You know your way from this market square to the Lavish Chateau so you begin leading Essek in that direction. 

“There’s a great fish and chips shop on the way near Tidepeak I don’t think that kind of street food is really your style.” You say as the Tidepeak comes into view. 

—————

Meanwhile the Nein and Verin stumble out into the teleportation circle room at the Tidepeak. They cracked the code and figured it out based on the list of places Verin had found among Essek’s notes. They knew exactly where Essek was going so it wouldn’t be much effort to find you two right? What harm has a little spying ever done to anyone? Maybe don’t answer that question. They had come for their own reasons be that to watch an epic romance unravel, dig up some dirt to tease or blackmail either of you with, or simply to keep the others in check. 

“Shit. Should we have send a message?” Jester panics looking around for the goblin that usually helps them on their way and informs Yussa of their arrival. 

“Not again.” Beau exclaims in exasperation. Yes again. And again they explain to Wensforth this is a matter of the utmost importance and expediency and they couldn’t have sent a message beforehand or lost too much time. Wensforth luckily for them didn’t have it within him to question their strange reasonings as he escorted them out of the tower and left the to their business.

—————

Within the Lavish Chateau you found out Essek had made a reservation and the guards and servers seemed to be extremely welcoming and attentive to the both of you for some reason you raised an eyebrow when a top shelf bottle of wine was brought out and left at your table once your glasses were poured and you awaited your food. 

“Do I want to ask how you did all this?” You swirl your finger around gesturing to your surroundings. “Because last I was here, not even the daughter of the Ruby of the Sea and her friends get this kind of attendance.” 

“Then perhaps it’s best you don’t ask.” Essek smiles proudly. 

“How many of the Nicodranian nobility have cleared their debt with the Dynasty or reminded of their indiscretions then?” You ask giving him a look over your glass as you take a sip of delicious wine. Top shelf really is worth it. 

“I thought you weren’t going to ask.” You hook your ankle around his from under the table and pull your leg back, Essek briefly loses balance but not enough to throw him off and fall from his seat. He gives you a disapproving and teasing look as you laugh. Food is served and just like everything, it’s perfect. Essek really put in the work to make this all happen and if the sunlight hadn’t thrown you off his schedule you can’t even fantom what else he had planed for your date. Though, he didn’t seem to mind the change of plans a single bit. 

Pleasant conversation about everything and nothing all the same, asking questions so trivial you didn’t think Essek would ever even have been capable of being so relaxed and free of responsibility. When it falls silent for a second and Essek catches you staring at him in thought he studies you closer.

“What?” Essek asks as you hum. 

“Just thinking?” 

“A copper for your thoughts then?” Essek puts his glass down. He doesn’t want to pry or ask out of turn but he is curious as of what got that dreamy expression on your face when you retreated within your own mind for that moment. 

“All of them?” You grin.

“If you are willing to reveal them.” Essek returns to your surprise, fully aware of the meaning behind your words and yet he still plays along. These kind of moments are rare with Essek unless you are completely alone so you’ll revel in the fact that he lets go like he does right now and hope you’d be able to see this side more often.

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t want you to get all flustered upon my voicing certain thoughts.” You tease, mischievous look in his eyes as he leans in on his elbows on the table and tilts his head amused. 

“Then perhaps keep it limited to your most recent ones? For now at least.” You snort and almost choke on the sip of wine you took bur recover quickly. You definitely didn’t see that one coming.

“Oh so he does play the game in public without shame. You are full of surprises today, aren’t you?” You drop the teasing and turn to your observation. “I was just thinking I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so carefree. I’d love to see this side of you more often if you’ll let me.” The teasing drops from Essek’s face and his expression turns into one of genuine affection. 

“I’d love nothing more.” Your glasses are refilled as the crowd begins gathering for the performance of the Ruby of the Sea.

—————

The Mighty Nein and Verin follow Jester leading them from place to place on the list but no matter how much they search they can’t find you. Last they heard you were seen buying some stuff from a merchant and then nothing so they had resorted to going down the list until they’d found you but still nothing. Over an hour had passed and the sun long since set, lanterns lit to lead the ways.

They search high and low following the list Verin had found but don’t find you and Essek anywhere. Nicordanas is a big city and turns out finding a buff pretty person and a hot boi drow are a lot harder to find than they initially thought. So, having given up the search they instead turn to a place to drink and wallow in self pity for not spying on the date. Jester knows just the place… No better place than the Lavish Chateau. Maybe her mom will even perform tonight! 

When they reach the Lavish Chateau the crowd’s already gathering but with sheer determination and the threatening of some they make it through and find a table, their drinks served as Jester goes off to say hi to her mom before the performance. Then of course Verin and Beau ask about a couple, describing you and Essek having come through here. Instead they’re pointed to a private table out of the direct sight of the entrance but in full view of what is to be the Ruby’s performance space, and if Beau knows anything, a really really expensive bottle of wine shared between the two of you as you sit around laughing and engaging in happy conversation.

As they watch, Essek and you suddenly being the most interesting thing in the entire room they notice a blush creeping up your face as you twirl one of the flowers in your hair returning an equally daring comment of your own, your fingers dancing over the back of Essek’s hand outstretched towards you until he closes his hand and grasps them. You gasp and giggle as he intwines your fingers with his and you making a comment that sends a deep purple crawling up the wizard’s cheeks. The Nein watch, some swooning at the cuteness, the others in surprise and a hint of disgust akin to that of watching your sibling be sugary sweet romantic with their partner you do not want to witness, and the rest like encouraging friends glad their friends have found happiness within each other. 

The performance is about to begin and you spot a blue tiefling running down the stairs as quick as she can darting to one of the tables. You already had the feeling you were being watched for the past fifteen minutes but thought nothing of it as since no action was taken yet and the crowd grew, if it were assassins or the likes again, they’d have come for you before as to not make a scene. Getting confirmation your friends had tracked you to Nicodranas and found you here. You’re not surprised but rather impressed and the addition of what clearly looks like a drow soldier of some repute with features similar to Essek lead you to believe this must be his infamous brother he’d been complaining about plenty of times. You move your chair as if to get a better view of the performance to come and sit right next to Essek. You weren’t the only one who noticed them.

“Do you think they know we know they’re here.” Essek leans into your shoulder as he speaks.

“No. Not this time but if you weren’t so caught up in admiring me you’d have noticed them first.” You lean in closer, whispering into his ear as you speak. 

“You are quite distracting.” Essek defends with a laugh. 

“I’ve seen Beau and your brother gag and complain twice now. Is this the point where we return the favour and give them a show to remember?” You suggest with a glint of mischief within your eyes. 

“How could I refuse?” Essek’s word are enough for you to further provoke the Nein and take it up a notch, or several. 

“Tell me if something makes you uncomfortable and I’ll stop.” You halt your teasing and allow your tone to turn more serious. Essek does the same when you do. 

“Only if you promise to do the same.” Essek doesn’t know if it’s the wine or your shared desire to make them suffer for interrupting your date like they did. Probably the latter. Most definitely the latter. Let them squirm. 

The Ruby comes down the stairs singing and everyone hangs onto her every word, her entire being like she’s a siren from the depths ready to lure in hopeless sailors. As her performance continues you move yourself closer to Essek until your sides are pressed together. Essek’s arm wraps around you pulling you close into his side and to your surprise, onto his lap. You lean your head against his shoulder and whisper sweet nothings, as you play with the fingers of his free hand lovingly. You pay attention to the performance, little attention needed for this display of affection as it comes surprisingly natural and unrestrained to the both of you. 

You lift your head and lean towards Essek, but an inch away from his lips, making eye contact as you whisper something to him but the Nein can’t hear over the singing and you’re too far away to lip read for anyone. It’s so frustrating but holy hells, they never knew Essek had a romantic bone in his body, let alone the guts to drop his composed and emotionally constipated side completely around you. They definitely didn’t see this coming and even Beau could relate to Jester’s possible ideas of turning this into some kind of smutty romance novel because that’s what it looked like. 

When you leaned back, always teasing and never close enough to actually kiss, you watched the performance more. Both you and Essek admired the show the Ruby was putting on. Her song as beautiful as she is but you might have connected with her a little more than anyone else in the room because when she passed your table and saw you and Essek she gave you a knowing smile. A knowing smile that showed she knew exactly when a performance was being put on, the courtesan’s ability to read people shining through once more when she winked at you before she turned around and found her way to the table of the Nein, distracting them from you and pulling the attention to herself. 

Essek was surprised and didn’t really know what to make of what just happened but next he knows he’s being pulled away from his seat by you and dragged to a side exit, abandoning the table mid performance. Out in the street you take off running and then it hits him; a moment of privacy. You played everyone, even him in the end when you appeared to have your attention fully on the Ruby of the Sea but instead you had a nonverbal agreement with the woman. Regardless of his thoughts you kept running towards the eastern edge of the city, through the gates and to the beach. Freedom. 

The moon and stars and city lights within the walls as your light source you pulled Essek along to the shoreline, laughing your asses off. You’ll have to remember to give Marion a big thanks next time you see her. Once safely away from the city sure you’re far enough away from the city you slow your pace and walk side by side along the beach.

“As clever as ever.” Essek compliments as you bump your shoulder into his with a grin. You offer Essek a hand as you climb over some rocks blocking your path. Essek takes it but instead of climbing he just hoovers over without any difficulty. 

“While, I’d gladly take credit I think you deserve at least half. Did you see the looks on their faces?” Your laughter rings like chimes in reminisce of your friends. It’s music to Essek’s ears. 

“I could never forget.” You stop and lower yourself onto the sand, gently pulling Essek’s arm inviting him to join. He does and sits down next to you as stare at him.

“Today was a good day. We should do this more often.” You sigh in content. There’s just something about the drow and the starry night sky behind him that makes him look so ethereal, you could look at him for ages and never get bored. 

“Being run out of a city by our friends for a moment of privacy?” Essek deadpans and you playfully shove him.

“While it was certainly eventful I think I could do without uninvited company next time.” In comfortable silence you both watch the view. Moon reflecting on the ocean, sound of gentle push and pull of the water against the shore and the thousands of stars scattered throughout the sky giving the both of you a sense of warmth and comfort. 

“You certainly found your courage tonight. I never thought you capable of such intimate displays of affection.” You comment and Essek turns his gaze to you. Despite the low light you notice the slight darkening of his cheeks a he takes in a breath. 

“I partially blame the determination to push my brother’s buttons.” You snort.

“And the other part?” Essek decides to humour you with and answer even though you hadn’t expected one. 

“You, as my partner in crime as some might say, made it easy to put on such a display. Though, I will admit to not being so open and frivolous in my affection with an audience, I did enjoy them nonetheless.” 

“Well then, I’m glad my frivolous affection brings you joy.” You say and Essek is about to correct himself for his words but stops when he notices you holding back your smile. You know exactly what he meant and when Essek notices it’s his turn to gently shove you. You gasp even though you’re physically unmoved. 

“Aren’y you all courage tonight? Careful now or I’ll toss you into the ocean.” You jest. 

“It seems both of us have not been lacking any courage this night.” Essek comments and he’s right. With the antics of the day, and your grand escape, you might never have had it been any other situation. You really did enjoy it and wouldn’t change a single thing. Well, maybe add something but there’s no time like the present so maybe you’ll just ask. 

“Then, in a bout of courage, I will ask you this. May I kiss you?” Essek does a double take in case he heard your words wrong but the expression written all over you confirms he has in fact heard you loud and clear. Still he doesn’t miss a beat in his answer. He’s already made up his min. 

“You certainly may.” With that you close your eyes and lean in placing your lips onto Essek’s in a gentle kiss. No pretend, no faked lust or intimacy but honest, clear and unrestrained emotion. When you pull away you’re both smiling like fools. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” You whisper as Essek leans in carefully to kiss you this time, lips moving together in a slightly deeper kiss. His hand finds your cheek holding your face lightly caressing a thumb over your cheekbone. 

“I could say the same.” Essek speaks when you pull apart for a moment, foreheads leaning against each other. Many more kisses follow, varying from gentle and sweet to passionate and deep, whatever suits your needs. You have no intention of getting off this beach near Nicodranas any time soon nor do you have anywhere to be so here you’ll stay enjoying each other’s company until the sun rises. 

From behind the rocks not too far away, eight people watch the wizard and the warrior finally do what some of them had hoped they would in the months they’ve gotten closer. Others are turning away while maybe peaking through at times, solely to see their friends happy with each other despite the chaos of the world but not without going right back to quieting their gagging noises of ‘not wanting to see the people who they consider their family making out’. 

“Oh my god! This is going to be so good, you guys. They’re so cute!” Jester whispers already taking notes and working out the story in her head. It’s going to be an epic love tale of two star-crossed lovers for sure. Maybe she can question you on the more spicier details later, get this book to sell at the Chastity's Nook some day? 

“Ugh. Let’s go. I can’t watch this any longer. Drinks?” Verin doesn’t resist and follows Beau, Yasha and Fjord back to Nicodranas. Caduceus has a bit more difficult of a time to drag the cleric and rogue away as the latter enabling her actions instead of giving you some much deserved privacy. He succeeds eventually leaving you and Essek behind to enjoy the rest of your night with a smile. Nothing better than people finding their own happiness.