#in my unsaid emily feelings right now so it seems like a good time to finally post this (nearly 4 year old) vidlet on here

[akapotatogirl]

can you see me using everything to hold back? i guess this could be worse, walking out the door with your bags

[hiramaris]

Kiss It Off Me

CHAPTER 4

Chapter Summary:

“Thank you.” She couldn’t stop smiling, not if she can’t help it. “It’s really sweet of you to do all this.” “No problem. I like it when you smile. Happiness looks good in you.”

Pairings: Haley x Fem!farmer

Disclaimer:  I do not own Stardew Valley or any of the related characters. Stardew Valley is created by and owned by ConcernedApe. This fanfiction is intended for entertainment only. I am not making any profit from this story. All rights of the original Stardew Valley story belong to ConcernedApe.

Warning: Swearing, mentions of neglect

Y/n, I’m not really good at writing a note or apologizing in general. I just… feel bad about how our introduction to one another went downhill which I know is my fault. I know it's kind of rude, too to take someone's photo without their consent so, here you go. It's not the best photo but it's not, like, the worse either. And you look like you're in one with nature so the photographer in me couldn't help but to take the shot.  Anyway, if you have time away from your farm, you can drop by at 2 Willow Lane in the morning or whatever so I can make it up to you somehow. It’s cool if you don’t want to if you’re, like, really mad still.   P.S I don’t wake up until 8. Need my beauty sleep! - Haley <3

Spring 9

"Earlier, I was getting my mail."

Haley's chewing came to a halt as George began to speak. How odd. George wasn’t one to talk during meals. She knew this because there was never a time she missed mandatory weekly meals with the Mullners.

Nonetheless, she leaned a bit closer to hear him.

"I couldn't because of my...” he trailed off, leaving the rest unsaid. “Anyway, Pam's kid tried to help me, and I ended up shouting at her." "My goodness, George!” Gran Evelyn gasped softly, placing a hand over her heart. “Why did you do that to poor Penny?" "I— she pushed my wheelchair and touched my mail.” He averted his gaze, looking everywhere but at the three pairs of eyes focused on him. If Haley didn’t know him any better, he almost looked embarrassed rather than angry. “I... I didn't like it when people act like I'm so nimble." Granny shook her head in sympathy. "Still, honey... She's just trying to help." "I know, I know," George grumbled, stabbing his fork into a fried mushroom. "The new farmer even pointed it out to me." He looked up, his eyes boring into his wife. "I apologized anyway. It was just a bad day, and I happened to project my anger onto her."

At the mention of the new farmer, Haley perked up. Not to sound obsessed or anything or like she has been counting at all, but it has been two days since she had caught a whiff of that familiar scent of dirt and freshly cut grass that you seemed to radiate even from a mile away. If Emily’s going to twist her arm behind her back, then maybe she’ll be able to get Haley to admit that she’s the one doing the avoiding right now.

The fact that it was Haley herself who wrote a note for you to come by to make up for her rude behavior, and then when you did drop by immediately a day after, Haley would make sure she had plenty of excuses to not meet you at the door and have Emily answer on her behalf. It’s been days and she’s running out of reasons to tell Emily why she couldn’t meet her visitor, and it wouldn’t take a genius to know who’s avoiding whom.

How could she not though?

How can someone recover from a situation like that which was probably scraped off from a romantic script of a movie because it’s too predictable, and cringe?

How can you look at someone ever again knowing you had seen that face in mere inches, breath tingling the cheeks and then act like you weren’t fazed by it all?

Most importantly, how do you act after that? Apparently, it didn’t seem like a problem for you as you were so busy hustling and bustling in and out of the farm and into the town. And if you weren't busy doing your chores, then you were always dragged down by Sam’s little brother to their little class arrangement with Penny and often found you hanging out with them by the big tree just outside Haley’s home which is why she knows not because she’s actively searching for you, duh.

Okay, maybe you did try to come to her, and Haley's the one acting like you and she had a one-night stand for the way she avoids you like a plague.

Still.

She shook her head when she realized she’d been zoning out longer than she warranted. Evelyn is still giving George a piece of her mind for what he did. Haley’s so sure he’s regretting his decision by now opening this topic to his wife.

However, it was clear to Haley who was in the wrong here.

"If I may put in my two cents...?" she interjected, unable to hold back.

Alex raised a curious brow at her but remained silent. Granny, on the other hand, nodded encouragingly. "Go ahead, deary."

"I think George's reaction was valid," Haley began slowly, choosing her words carefully. "Penny touched your wheelchair and mail without consent, regardless of her good intentions, Mr. Mullner." And as an afterthought, she added, a hint of annoyance creeping into her voice, "And the new farmer agreed with her? She should have known better."

"Look at you, Hay. Queen of consent!" Alex teased, a smirk playing on his lips. "I love a girl who knows her boundaries."

Of course, the doofus would choose this time to speak.

"Haha," she rolled her eyes at a smirking Alex. He sure knows what buttons to push. "Asking consent is a bare minimum, you goof. You should practice it more often." "Hey!" "Hng," George grumbled inaudibly. "Little Miss Farmer did say that."

"Say what, dear?" "That Pam's kid should have asked me first.” George clarified. “But I should have handled it a little better, too. Can't say that she's wrong."

Despite his use of tone, he didn’t sound too upset. More like he’s in between of unable to believe that someone has the courage to stand up to him and tell him he’s wrong and still respect him as an elder, or being mad at this new farmer for sticking up her nose somewhere it doesn’t belong.

Either way, a George that isn’t grumpy is a win-win. So, they all will probably take it as it is.

"I'm glad you thought so too, dear." See? Even Granny thinks so, too. It’s better to have a plate full of her infamous cookies (and leek if you’re George) than to have a grumpy George on your plate. "Here, have some sauté leek."

George's face brightens up considerably. "I thought we don't have anymore from the pantry?"

"Miss Y/n dropped some earlier. Said to help cook your favorite dish. Isn’t she a sweetheart?”

"Hmm... I guess she's really something else then."

"I told you so, dear."

"Agree!" Alex raises a thumbs up. "She even knows how to play grid ball! She's new yet she's already better than the men here combined."

"That's lovely, deary. I hope she also influences you to read those books I gave you. I heard she's infatuated with books as Miss Penny does." "Yes, granny," Alex grumbled against his spoon.

Spring 10

She didn’t expect to see you so soon.

It’s not like she wants to avoid you forever. Ugh.

Why is this so difficult?

Her whole Spring routine is now in shambles because of you and your inability to dress nice, spreading your nasty farmer smell and being all happy smiles around children, elders, and women like some sort of Casanova and it’s infuriating!

“Hay?” Emily’s voice calling out from the kitchen stops her from her silent stewing. Haley was about to get up from her seat when Emily's voice continued, "did you clean the cushions like I told you yesterday?"

Her expression immediately turned sour, “I just cleaned them last week!”

The clanging from the kitchen stops, and the thudding of footsteps came closer. In an instant, Emily was standing in front of her with her spatula in hand.

“Yes, that’s last week. What about this week then?”

Haley rose to her feet, indignant. No freaking way she’s cleaning them again. “I always clean under the cushions and you damn well know it!" She jutted a perfectly manicured finger in Emily's direction. "It's YOUR turn this week!"

Emily scoffed at that. “You’re being childish, Haley. I do the vast majority of work in this house, and you know it.”

Haley rolled her eyes, feeling frustrated that Emily always played the responsible one. Just because she had a job outside the house, she acted like she was the only one doing anything. Haley does, too! She cooks, washes the dishes, does her own laundry, and cleans the house! But of course, Emily isn’t around enough to see all that because she has work and she’s busy thinking Haley’s lazy ass is just lounging in the house doing nothing all day!

“But that’s not the point!” Haley crossed her arms, a flash of irritation on her face. She wasn't going to let Emily get away with this. “We agreed to have schedules specifically for this and you’re not following it!”

Emily's eyes flickered with frustration. “Would it kill you to do them now? I had a rough shift yesterday.”

"You can't just pass off your responsibilities onto me every time you had a tough day at work. We made a schedule for a reason."

"I know, I know. But I just need a break today." Emily sighed heavily, her shoulders slumping.

The truth sets out then. She had a rough night and she passes the job onto Haley and made her feel guilty for it. Never mind that they agreed to have alternate schedules to do this specific job to avoid arguments yet here they are.

“Absolutely no—”

“Hello?”

Of fucking course, the farmer chooses that time to knock on their door.

Emily must have noticed the alarmed look written clearly on her face, making her smirk.

Oh, boy.

“Come in, Y/n/n! Haley’s up already.”

“Good mor—” You did a double take seeing a clearly upset Haley and an equally pissed Emily. “Am I interrupting something?”

“Yes,” Haley admitted bluntly, crossing her arms. A flash of recognition passed her eyes when she thought of an idea. A good one that’s for sure. “Since you’re a hard worker and all, I bet you’ll understand my point of view here.”

“Haley,” Emily warned. Haley ignores her, deciding to shift her attention to the newcomer.

You tilt your head in confusion. “What’s going on?”

Emily sighs in exasperation, before offering you a kind smile. “I’m really sorry to involve you in this, Y/n/n. Haley,” she shot her a dirty look, “is complaining because I asked her to clean the cushions—”

“— which you should be doing because it’s your schedule, not mine yet you’re shifting the blame to me.” Haley finishes for her. She turns to you, further proving her point. “It’s important to mention that I already cleaned them last week.”

“Haley…”

“Shut it, Em. I want to hear what she has to say. What’s the verdict?”

Haley may seem cool outside but she’s actually hoping for you to side her on this one. She knew she was on the right side. If you were to side with Emily, then that’s like a double edge of crap in some way and Haley refuses to bleed in front of you two.

You were silent for a good second, chewing your lips, deep in thought. Your eyes flicked back and forth between the sisters.

“Haley,” you prompted, voice slow and measured. Haley already knew at this point whom you sided with. “Why not have this be your one weekly job?”

Not that it’s important but it stings.

Haley turns to retreat to her room, but you must have noticed the look of utter disappointment on her face. You grabbed Haley's hand in panic, halting her in her tracks. The blonde couldn't help but freeze at the sudden touch. "W-wait. I’m not siding on anyone," You quickly clarified, hoping to diffuse the tension.

Haley raised a skeptical eyebrow, not entirely convinced. "Sure," she replied flatly.

“I just thought it would be the best course of action, so you don’t have to argue over it again. If you took this job, Emily won’t bother you again with cleaning the bathroom every two days. Isn’t that right, Em?”

“Yeah!” Emily agrees immediately. “Wait, what?”

Haley turns and finds you smiling down at her, clearly amused at Emily’s reaction. “doesn’t that sound more appealing?”

It does. She hates cleaning the bathroom with great passion, more so than cleaning under the cushions. If this also means it could possibly reduce Emily’s daily nagging, then your idea doesn’t seem the worst plan ever.

“Alright, you win.” Haley tried so hard to keep a straight face when she saw that stupid smile emerging again. “I guess this can be my job every week. Then there won’t be any reason to argue over it.”

Emily eyes her a bit at her sudden compliance with everything before turning back to you with an almost appreciative look. “Thanks, Y/n/n. That was a great solution.”

“Heh,” you must have noticed Haley’s eyes burning at your conjoined hands. With a timid chuckle, you retreated your hand back as you scratched your nape almost shyly. “It’s no problem, really.”

“Why don’t you stay for breakfast?” Emily suggested. “I’m almost finished cooking anyway.”

“It’s okay, thanks! But I don’t really want to impose.”

“Nonsense! I’m sure my sister won’t mind you joining us. Right, Hay?” Emily raises an equally blue eyebrow at her sister, who seemed to be in a daze.

“Your hands are rough and warm.”

“Huh?”

Your confusion snapped her out of her trance. She meets your eyes for a brief moment before glancing away. “I mean— what I meant to say was,” she sputtered pathetically. “Yeah, you can join us for breakfast.” She forces out a smile, hoping Yoba will answer her prayer one more time.

“Good!” Emily beamed. “Then I’ll get on with it. Haley, please keep our guest occupied.”

“You sure?” You asked one more time, probably noticing the grimace obviously etched on her face.

“Of course.”

“Hmm. Okay, then how about we clean these cushions now? So, you won’t have to clean them later?”

“Eh? It’s fine. I can do that later.”

“I insist. Two pairs of hands are better than one, y’know?”

“Ugh. Of course, you’ll say some dorky crap like that. Yoba, fine you can help.”

You can only laugh at her antics before moving to lift the couch.

Spring 14

She used to like her birthdays.

At least that’s what she likes to think.

What she allows herself to think.

And what she likes others to think.

It’s easier to blend into the stereotypes rather than oppose them and still get judged after.

Haley’s been called names already, all too many to even mention.

Spoiled.

Arrogant.

Self-centered and conceited.

If they are harsh enough, sometimes they’ll call her a dumb bitch.

As harsh as they are, Haley learned over the years to desensitize herself to them. Why allow yourself to be hurt by the same thing over and over again?

Her parents raised her and Emily in this big house back in Zuzu City. It was big, enormous even but empty. Can you call it home when no one cares enough to stick around? When all there ever was were big parties, and holidays spent with strangers she barely talked to, raised like the perfect little girl that she is, given with just as empty praises and gifts just as thoughtless.

Haley is practically the epitome of class and luxury. The living embodiment of perfection. Perfect face, perfect body, and oh-so-perfect stats. She’s smart (street smart or preferably photography smart if there’s one or whatever), rich and famous. Most importantly, she’s popular and has a reputation to protect. Everything that Emily probably isn’t. Yet she’s the one happier.

She’s the one who moved on while Haley remains still where their parents left them.

How could they be gone though if, in the first place, they were never present? Where were they when Haley won her first photography contest? Did they know the photo was Emily sewing her first design? Haley doesn’t think so.

They are not abusive though. In terms of needs, they never wasted seconds to tend them in the most grandiose and luxurious ways as possible— the newest phone, latest camera, expensive make-up, and all available seasonal designer clothes. Good but not great either. Haley can say they are just plainly emotionally unavailable. They weren’t ready at all to be parents. They were too young when they had Emily.

Early twenties were not even that young, but it was a stage of exploring the world and what it could still possibly offer them. They can’t have all that with children in tow. So, when the opportunity arises, they took it without hesitations. After all, both their children are fully capable on their own.

But Haley needed someone. She needed a father. She needed her mother. Hell, she needed her sister. She needed someone warm, a nicer, wiser person. Someone to cry to, to talk to, to laugh to.

She calls out but the house is empty.

So, tell me. How can I be childish when I’m forced to grow up because everyone already is?

Haley hated them with passion. The crumpled piece of letter in her hand was obvious enough to what extent she does.

Another birthday card.

No hugs and kisses.

No cake.

No parents.

Some birthday this is.

She lets out a dry chuckle. It seems Emily had forgotten about her day. She had taken off at dawn's first light without even a second thought. While Alex? She doesn’t expect him to remember. At least not until later than noon. The idiot, really.

“Thought I’d find you here.” Haley didn’t have to look up to see who it was, but she did anyway. There you are with your blinding smile again. Beads of sweat can be seen forming on the side of your forehead just below a small cut that seemed to be healing well already. Your clothes are lightly butchered, a sign she's up and about on her farm yet the sight of you lifted her spirit a little. 

“Done with your chores?” She asked as you sat down next to her. Weirdly enough, the smell of dirt doesn't seem sore on the nose anymore, and Haley starts to wonder why.

It was a pleasantly warm Sunday. Usually, the kids will be playing here and Haley's glad she get to enjoy a quiet time in the park even for a little time.

You hummed. “Woke up extra early to finish them all.”

“Why? You have plans?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Naw, had to run some errands so I can give you this,” You turned to your rucksack that Haley failed to notice again. It was bulging. Haley could only catch sight of the color brown before you successfully hid it behind your back. “Held out your hands.”

Haley narrowed her eyes. “You’re not going to prank me, are you?”

“What? No, of course not!”

“Is it a bug? You know I hate them.”

“Just do it, Hay.”

Surprised at the sudden usage of the nickname, Haley finally complied. She desperately hopes the sunlight would hide the tinge of redness starting to form on her cheeks.

Carefully, you placed a coconut on her open palms. It was plump and perfectly shaped as if it had been carefully chosen just for her. It was even wrapped poorly with a red ribbon that is a bit wrinkly and crinkled on the edges which must be because of how it was forcefully shoved in her bag. But Haley didn't find it in herself to mind. Not when you're looking at her like that as you hold your gift. “Happy birthday, Haley.” You greeted warmly.

Haley blinked, her eyes started to water, her insides warming up in all ways possible. But she didn’t dare cry.

"I... I love coconuts." Haley looked up. Her own lips betrayed her as they curled up in the widest grin she ever had. “How did you know?”

“Well,” You scratched the back of your head, your cheeks turning a light shade of pink. “Remember when you treated my cut the other day? You made me choose between a sunflower band-aid or a coconut one. So, I kinda assumed they were your favorites.”

“B-but how? You can’t possibly summon a coconut tree at will, or even had the time to go to Calico desert.”

You laughed at that. “It was pure luck, Hay. I just talked to the traveling merchant the other day and she said she had a couple of ones in stock. But she warned me I had to buy one early today or else she’ll run out just before noon.”

“Thank you.” She couldn’t stop smiling, not if she can’t help it. “It’s really sweet of you to do all this.”

“No problem. I like it when you smile. Happiness looks good in you.”

Happiness looks good on you, too.

****

A/n: I hoped I did Haley's heart event justice because she deserved soooo much better. I refuse to believe her mean girl façade is because she's plain mean. My girl is better than that.

Anyway, sorry for the super late update. You know, the usual, due to school stuff and it just so happens senior year is the busiest year of all. Had to make sure I'm complying with all the needed requirements so I can graduate this year.

Thank you, guys, for your patience. Love y'all but I love my wife more <3

[quillandink333]

The Dove and the Swan Take Flight • pt. 1

Credit to @winterxisxcomingx for the beautiful banner ♡︎

SPOILERS FOR HAZBIN HOTEL ~ Read ahead at your own risk!

After centuries spent distancing himself from his people and letting affairs of state fall into neglect, Lucifer decides it’s high time to get reacquainted with his would-be fair kingdom and brings Emily along for a grand tour of the Pride Ring.

WARNINGS: Abrahamic imagery (obviously), cannibalism, depression, PTSD, classism

Part I • Part II • Part III

“Miss Rosie, wasn’t it? Good to finally make your acquaintance!” Lucifer greeted the cannibal overlord with performative grandiosity as he and Emily entered her parlour.

“Ah! Lucifer, Your Majesty! Oh my stars.” Rosie perked up and greeted him back with a curtsy and a razor-sharp toothy grin. “I thought I recognised you from when I saw you on the news the other day. Good to meet ya’!” His stomach did a somersault as she came out from behind her counter and shook him by the hand. “So, to what do I owe such an unexpected honour?”

As his angelic protégé followed him inside, he was gripped by a growing feeling of unease—a suffocating sense of being the centre of attention that he hadn’t subjected himself to in centuries. Nevertheless, he did his best to plaster on the peppy face he made a habit of presenting to strange sinners, for Emily’s sake if no one else’s. “Well, I wanted to thank you for the aid from your townsfolk in the battle against the exorcists! My daughter, Charlie, and I very much appreciate your support.”

“Come now, Sir, no need to be so formal with us lesser souls,” she dismissed with a wave of her hand. “I see you’ve brought company. Who’s this then?” She leaned down to Emily’s height, and the empty sockets she had for eyes made both their throats go dry.

Word Count: 3.3k

“This is Emily, a former seraph like myself,” he haughtily introduced whilst anchoring an arm around her waist. “She’s been staying with me at the castle since her fall the day after the battle. Emily, this is Rosie, the mayor of Cannibal Town.” He did his best to maintain a casual atmosphere, despite how worried he was by the wary look about her. “She’s a…an ally, you could say. She and her people fought with us at the ‘Battle of Hazbin,’ as it were,” he chuckled, “but they’re not as dangerous as they might seem. Right, Rosie?” He made sure to shoot the woman a look that conveyed all the grave protective intent he’d left unsaid, and judging by the subtle twitch in the corners of her smile, he seemed to have gotten the message across.

“Oh, no, not at all. We’re only dangerous to our victims!” Rosie laughed off his attempt to intimidate her with a rather distasteful joke, but to his surprise, he noticed Emily’s shoulders bobbing up and down in tandem with hers as she shifted her attention back to the little one. “Welcome to Hell, darling! You have my word, we’ll do our part to keep you feeling safe and welcome as long as you’re in town.”

”Oh—thank you, Miss Rosie! That’s so nice of you.” Emily allowed a glowing smile to grace her features, pleasantly surprised by the towering sinner’s air of warmth and hospitality. “I gotta say, this does seem like one of the more welcoming corners of the city from what little I’ve seen so far.”

“Well, that’s high praise indeed coming from you,” Rosie said. “Colour me flattered. For an angel, you’re quite the charmer, aren’t you?” Emily tried not to read too deeply into her well-intended comparison. “If I may ask, what was it that got you kicked out of Heaven?”

“Oh, I wasn’t kicked out. I left Heaven on my own terms a day or two after Adam’s attack—which was completely unnecessary and wrong and just revolting, might I add.”

It was all Lucifer could do to ignore the feeling of his old sins crawling on his back. Meanwhile the sinner’s eyebrows rose as she raised a lanky finger to her chin. “Well, I’ll be blessed…”

“I actually got to meet Charlie myself before then!” Emily continued. “It was when she came to Heaven for a meeting about whether redemption of sinners’ souls is possible.” She was so excited, she almost forgot to restrain herself from dropping the bomb in public. “But that’s when I learned about…the exterminations.” Her chipper exterior faltered as she recalled that moment when her delusion of a perfect world had been shattered. Lucifer pulled her back to the present with a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Anyway, that’s why I chose to leave.” She let out a cleansing exhale. “I just want to help you all however I can for as long as you need me here.”

“Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself.” Lucifer comforted her with a squeeze of her shoulder. “There’s no need to go around airing your reasons for falling to folks out here. We’re just getting to know each other.” A consolatory smile formed on his face, giving her the need to avert her eyes lest her heart skip right out of her chest. He looked back up at Rosie. “If it’s not too much trouble, would you mind showing us around town later today?”

“Oh, my pleasure, Your Majesty!” she cheerfully accepted. “Just let me take care of my last couple clients for the morning and we’ll be off, okay? There’s a little booth in the window over there, so feel free to grab something to nibble on while ya’ wait!”

“Uh, that’s alright, we’ll pass. Thank you for offering, though!” Emily chuckled awkwardly when she saw the selection of severed body parts behind the glass. “And take your time.” Keeping a firm grip on his hand, she shuffled over to the booth Rosie had pointed out and hastily took a seat.

Once they each had a nice cup of tea to sip while they waited, he took out his phone to pull up the map of Pentagram City. “I wanted to fill you in on a few unique places in Hell, starting with Cannibal Town for today, so you can get a feel for the kind of world you’re now a part of. It’s a bit different from Heaven, isn't it?” he smirked half-heartedly.

“A bit?” She laughed out loud at his gross understatement. “It’s like nothing I ever could’ve imagined… I got a taste of what Hell was like when Charlie came to Heaven, but it’s so different in person. So much more…diverse? I think that’s the right word.” She clinked her pointy nails against her teacup, deep in thought.

Glancing back at Rosie as she tended to her clients, “Would you like to hear more of what I know about the other spots I’ve planned for us to visit?” he offered.

“Ooh, yes, please!” She leaned in eagerly over the table.

He chuckled, leaning over and meeting her in the middle to show her the map. “Alright, well, next on the list is Sinsoplex. It’s a commercial district with shopping malls, clubs, and entertainment complexes galore. It’s the type of place where people can really indulge themselves and live like there’s no tomorrow, but it does require a combination of fame and wealth to really make the most of one’s time there.” He leaned back, cradling his chin as he pondered what they might get up to there. “After that, I’ll take you to Carmine headquarters in the southwest where all the industrial stuff happens. There’s someone there that I’ve been meaning to talk to and, actually, you might benefit from meeting her too.”

As he focused on giving her the rundown of their itinerary, she’d turned an infectious Heavenly smile his way despite the Hellishly sharp fangs in her mouth. “This is so sweet of you, y’know,” she interjected, begetting a raised brow from him. “Not that you’re doing this for me. Charlie was just telling me about how you’ve been trying to come out of your shell a bit more lately, since the two of you started talking again.” His expression softened and his eyes went out of focus. “I think you’re one of the bravest people I’ve ever met, in Heaven or Hell.”

Snapped out of his daze, he blushed and looked away, the tips of his ears glowing the bright tint of daffodil petals. “I... Well, you might be giving me a bit too much credit there, don’t you think?” he chuffed. “I had a talk with her about this the other day… She told me how grateful and happy she was for me that I was starting to…y’know, like you said. Starting to let more people in. Except I don’t think she realises that she and you, and maybe, arguably Maggie, are the only ones I’ve really been spending any time with.”

His gaze met hers again, and he offered a shy smile, which she returned in full. “Still, though! That’s huge progress compared to before, right? You should be proud!” But in her heart of hearts, she could see he was still trapped by the countless years’ buildup of all-consuming shame. At least for the time being, it seemed so.

“Thank you,” he sighed nonetheless. “Honestly, I’ve never been good at hearing those kinds of words, especially coming from someone like you.” He would’ve said ‘a true angel like you’ if he were less of a coward. “It’s just…” He paused, glancing down at their entwined fingers and wondering how in the world to express his next thought. “I mean, obviously I can take care of myself, but it’s nice to feel like…there are people that…want…a better life for me. People who believe that a life beyond endless suffering is really possible…for me.”

He hadn’t noticed, but she’d been tearing up, trying her hardest not to start weeping since the subject of Charlie had first come up. “I’m so happy for you,” she choked out through a beaming smile, squeezing his fingers tightly between hers until her knuckles turned white. “Really. I…I can’t imagine what the millennia have been like for you.” Finally she could feel the rise in hope out of him that she’d been longing for as he looked at her with wide, aback-taken eyes. “I’m just so glad you’re finally starting to feel more at home.”

There were mountains more of the unconditional acceptance and genuine faith in him that she was dying to express, but their heart-to-heart was cut short. “Alright, you lovebirds,” came the teasing voice of Rosie as she strode over to their side of the room, shooting them a wink and making him tear his hand away from Emily’s, his blush redoubling. “The two of you are in for a real treat today, let me tell ya.’ Shall we?”

“Oh, certainly, yes!” Lucifer snapped to his feet, then nearly missed the step down from the booth. “Ready to get going, Emily?” he said, brushing it off and extending a hand to help her up. “And stay close to me,” he added discreetly.

They followed Rosie out of the parlour and into the bustling streets, where the nauseatingly enticing smell of cooking flesh filled the air. As they walked, he could feel the empty eyes of passersby from every angle. He put his arm around her waist again, pulling her close, offering his body as a shield. He could tell how abjectly terrified she was behind the glimmer in her eyes and the jaunt in her step and the way she swung his hand back and forth in hers. On the inside, he was kicking himself. It had been so long since he’d last shown his face anywhere, it hadn’t even occurred to him that he’d need a disguise. As for Emily, she wouldn’t have attracted so much attention if she’d already gotten the hang of concealing her wings; he was still working with her on that one.

Glancing behind her and immediately picking up on the king’s hyper-awareness, “This is one of the most harmless districts this side of the Pentagram,” Rosie assured, gesturing towards the rows of quaint, weathered shops all around. She offered Emily a smile, who was happily following, confused as to why Lucifer seemed so on edge. “You should be perfectly safe here today, Your Highness.”

This made her burst out in a contagious laughing fit at the wildly inappropriate way Rosie had just addressed her. “Oh, please, don’t call me that,” she snorted. “I’m a runaway; I don’t have any authority over anyone at the moment. Just call me Emily. Or Em, or Emmy—please just anything but Your Highness.”

“Well then, little miss sparkly eyes,” Rosie began, making her giggle, “I gotta say that dress looks gorgeous on you. Did ya’ make it yourself?”

“Yes! I did! How did you know?!” Emily had received a tip from Alastor the day before, despite Lucifer’s warnings to stay away from him. What the radio demon had told her pertained to a certain standard of dress supposedly upheld in Cannibal Town. With what little time she’d had, she’d whipped up her own take on a stylish ankle-length dress inspired by Earth’s nineteen-tens to -twenties period, complete with long velvet gloves and a playful feather boa. This was all in hopes of making as open-minded and enthusiastic an impression as she could on the old-timey cannibals while she was there.

“Isn’t she stunning?” gushed Lucifer as he chivalrously tucked her bangs back into place. “She’s quite the little seamstress, you know. You should see what other masterpieces she’s designed just since her fall.”

“I’ve just had the perfect idea for our first stop!” Rosie cut him off with a gasp and a grin, earning her a royal scowl. “There’s a dandy little barbershop just up the road from here. How would ya’ like a refreshing new hairstyle to complete the look you’re sporting?”

Emily’s ears lit up. “Oh, i-is there something wrong with my hair?”

“No! No, not at all,” her guardian stepped in. “Your hair’s lovely the way it is. I think she just meant you could do with something a little more on-theme with the rest of your outfit, you know? If that’s what you’d like.”

“Ohhh.” She nodded, instantly restored to her bright-eyed and bushy-tailed self. “That sounds like fun! Let’s go!”

They were greeted by the tinkling of a little silver bell over the door and the warm harmonies of an a cappella quartet, before she was whisked away to one of the vanities. Left alone with their tour guide, Lucifer cleared his throat to fill the silence. “So, uhm…Charlie tells me you give some pretty alright relationship counselling?”

Her eyebrows shot up. “Oh? Don’t tell me the head honcho of Hell himself is asking little old me for romantic advice.”

“That’s not it! Well, not… That is, it’s complicated. I don’t think it’s romantic, but it could be…?” His thumb twirled his expired wedding band around his ring finger.

“What’s on your mind, Your Majesty? Whatever it is, I’ll do all I can to help.”

Her offer, despite all odds, put a smile on his face. “How to explain… I’d have thought it would be upsetting for me to see her embracing culture and community down here so quickly and openly. I’m not one to associate with…my subjects very often,” he put simply, “as I’m sure you know, but my w—uh, my ex-wife was. And it was always a bit of a sore spot between us.”

“You’re saying it doesn’t upset you to see little Emily thriving down here, even though it reminds you of how Lilith used to be?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Why do you think that could be?”

“I don’t know!” he quietly exclaimed. “That’s what’s bothering me. I…” He sighed into his hands. “She seems closer to Charlie’s age, but she reminds me of her in so many ways.”

“What kinds of ways?”

“Well, her smile, for one. And the way she just lights up any room she enters. She’s like a beacon of hope. Like the one I’ve been needing in my life since longer ago than I can recall.”

“Since before the divorce, even?”

Lucifer’s face froze. “Well…” Just the fact that the question took him any time to consider was jarringly telling. He’d always clung to Lilith as the last spark of hope in an otherwise hopeless world, but Emily made him feel more hopeful and happy on a daily basis than she ever had. Could it really be true? No, that was just his broken, bleeding heart talking, surely.

And there he went again, overthinking every little thing. Why didn’t he simply follow the fallen seraph’s advice about just being present in the moment instead of missing out on the joy right in front of him? He could do better. He had to.

“Lucifer! Rosie!”

And here she came, the woman of the hour, bounding over from her corner of the salon. Her hair was all done up in big, wavy curls which bounced with her every step, making her look like nothing short of a doll come to life. Its length seemed to have been reduced to the middle of her back as well.

“What do you think?” She gave a little twirl while Rosie clapped politely but sincerely.

“Emily, you look lovely!” he applauded along. “This style really does suit you.”

“You say that about every style I try,” she giggled in retort. “How can I be sure you mean it?”

“Oh, but I do! I really do, I mean it every time,” he insisted with a crease in his brow. “Honestly, I can’t imagine a look that you wouldn’t be able to pull off. Your hair is—”

“Alright, alright, I believe you!” she cut him off, making him laugh as he realised he’d been had. It was nice to see she was getting better at taking compliments at least.

The trio stayed to listen to the delightful performance of the barbershop quartet for a few minutes longer before taking their leave. From there, Rosie took them right along to restaurant row for some lunch. Emily ordered off the vegan menu since she wasn’t quite feeling up for dining on human flesh today. Neither was Lucifer, but he decided to bite the bullet for the both of them, not wanting to leave the stain of a king’s disapproval on this place just because it wasn’t to his personal taste. It was fine as long as he hadn’t been the one to slaughter or butcher the meat himself, right?

The afternoon wore on, and they ended up visiting a charming main street, complete with cozy shops and an ice cream parlour that was much more to their liking. She seemed to enjoy the sweet treats just as much as he did as they took a moment to rest on a bench in a quaint, secluded park and savour their cones. He linked their pinkies together. “I get the sense you’re feeling a little off, Em. Should we make our way back home soon, or do you want to check out more of the sights here first?”

She looked up at him, in the middle of licking her fingers clean, with a smudge of chocolate fudge at the corner of her lips. “You can? Oh.” Her cheeks flushed ever so slightly; she’d been trying her best to hide how tired she was for both their sakes, since they’d been having such a wonderful day out together and she truly didn’t want it to end. “Sorry… Would you be disappointed if I wanted to go back home?” she asked sheepishly.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he laughed, brushing the chocolate from her lips. “Of course I wouldn’t be disappointed. I just want to make sure you’re comfortable and taken care of.”

“Okay… Thank you,” she mumbled. “I dunno why I’m so worn out. I don’t get like this very easily. At least, I didn’t use to.” This confession of hers pulled hard at the weight on his soul, the reminder of how much his own fall had changed him like a stab to his uncharacteristically good mood.

Standing up, he offered her a hand to help her to her feet. “May I carry you back to the castle, my dear?”

“Uh, thanks for the offer, but wouldn’t that get us some weird looks?” she laughed, despite her blush. “Why don’t you just open a portal for us like you did when we left home this morning?”

“Oh. Of course.” He cleared his throat and promptly did as she suggested, struggling to swallow his embarrassment. “After you, then.”

[blush-and-books]

Julie didn’t expect it to happen. I mean, she always felt like Luke was alive when he was around her, but she didn’t think-

She didn’t ever think about this. 

They were on the couch – his couch, their couch, as he liked to say now – and he was, to be brief, kissing her senseless. It was a songwriting session that took a turn for the romantic, and ended with their notebooks on the floor; her back pressed into the couch cushions as Luke hovered over her. 

He always felt the same: Warm but only on the surface, soft as he ran his hands up and down her sides, magnetic when his lips clasped hers with an urgency that neither of them could quite pin the origin of. But after a while, when Julie attempted to flip them so that she could be on top, her hand pressed solid against his chest as she lowered herself onto him-

And a rapid, ever-present, undeniable thumping met her palm like a greeting. 

She barely had time to react before Luke’s callused hand was sliding up her scalp and tugging her down to meet him in another kiss. 

“Luke,” she mumbles into his mouth with little effort to pull away. Even though it wants to wander, her hand hasn’t abandoned it’s position against his ribs where there is pressure echoing against it with frightening speed. 

He only pulls her closer; thinking that her murmurs were the result of satisfaction less than shock. 

He actually manages to distract her for another moment – the intoxicating combination of rough hands and sweet lips and Luke – but her hands find their way back home.

The beating is still there. 

She speaks more forcefully this time; slightly pushing back against the hammer trying to make itself known. “Luke.” 

Being the ever-aware boyfriend, he is in-tune to the tones of her voice, and he pulls himself out of her space. 

“What? Are you okay? Did I-”

“Your heart,” she chokes out. Her hand pushes a little harder, as if she is giving him CPR. “I feel your heart.”

His hands, which are gripping her waist, loosen their hold. 

“W-What?”

Her right hand briefly lifts from his chest to bring his hand back with her; both of them able to feel the thumping lightly against their skin. His eyes meet hers as it registers to him that they now share beating hearts, and that a beating heart is a sign that points to life. 

His mouth has been gaping for so long that she almost cracks a joke, but she can only imagine she looks the same. 

“How is…?” Luke trails off, and suddenly, Julie’s hands are fumbling over his body in search to contact his wrist and his neck; pressing firmly in a desperate search for the light pulse that should be present with an accompanying heartbeat. 

Nothing is there for a while. Her middle and index fingers apply more pressure, less concerned about hurting Luke and more about the ability she has to hurt Luke. 

But then-

It’s light, like a little butterfly flapping it’s wings against her fingertips. But it’s there. 

And a relieved sigh flushes from her grinning lips. 

“You have a pulse.” 

He reaches up to replace her fingers and feel it for himself – and sure enough, there it is. 

“Oh my God.”

His body against hers is no longer emitting a false sense of heat – he’s warm. Toasty, like a furnace, like a living teenage boy should be. 

“You’re warm. You’re so warm, I-”

“Julie!” 

Carlos comes barreling into the studio with little warning save for a loud yell after opening the barn doors. But when his eyes trace the space and focus in on his sister, they almost pop out of his head. 

“You’re with a boy? The guitarist? Ew, oh my God! Does Dad know?”

The couple is less focused on the fact that they have been caught with Julie literally straddling Luke and more on the fact that Carlos can see Julie straddling Luke. 

“Carlos, you-” Julie gulps. “You can see him?”

Her little brother, still equally as disgusted, looks hard and long at Luke. “Wait, isn’t he supposed to be a ghost?”

“Yes!” The two of them answer at the same time. As a trio, their eyes bounce from person to person with the clear question of what the hell is going on. “We need to find Reggie and Alex,” Julie whispers, finally. 

Luke is still in shock over the fact that he has a heart – which is rapidly pounding under his ribs – but ne manages a nod, and tightens his hands around Julie’s waist to help her off of his lap. 

“I’ll go see if Reggie’s in the kitchen,” Carlos informs them before giving the couple a moment to themselves. “Julie… We’ll talk about that-” He gestures around his sister and her boyfriend- “Later.”

Once he has left them to be alone together once again, Julie runs her hands over her face. “Or never,” she grumbles. 

“So… What do we do?”

Luke’s question seems to snap Julie back into the reality of things. Less “my little brother caught me in a suggestive position with my ghost boyfriend” and more “my boyfriend is no longer a ghost.”

At seeing the panicked look in his eyes, her hands dart forward and tightly knit her fingers between his. They are so warm, and soft, and if she really focuses there is blood rushing through his veins.

“Hey,” she says, voice affectionate. “Whatever is going on, if you’re alive again, it- That’s a good thing. That’s a great thing, Luke. I know there’ll be a lot to work out. But… No more peaking over our shoulders for Caleb, or praying that I won’t pass through you when I reach for you, or…”

“Or what?”

“You worrying about me growing up.” 

Her voice is so high, so weak, that she almost thinks she is on the verge of tears. It was always a fear for the two of them that was meant to be tucked away in each other’s presence, but now, if he’s alive… 

There’s no leaving him, or any of the boys, behind. 

Luke fights back his own tears as he unwinds their hands in favor of pulling Julie into his lap once again for a hug. “We can’t get out hopes up,” he reminds her with a rough voice. “But my heart is beating, and it’s beating for you, Julie.”

She somehow wraps herself around him tighter. 

“My heart was always beating for you,” she informs him.

“I know. But I wanted to be able to beat back. Your heart was going to get tired at some point, wasn’t it?”

Neither of them dare to speak any more, both overthinking the implications of his final comment. He sniffles into her hair, and she fists her fingers into his shirt, and he can feel it: Their chests, pressed one and two against, heartbeats feeding into one another. 

They go to find Alex after a long while of holding each other. The next morning, as he runs his fingers through her hair, both Julie and Luke notice that his nails have grown. 

Tags: @willexx @unsaid-emily

[issaxcharlie]

We say we're friends, we play pretend (2/2 )You're more to me, we're everything

PART 1 HERE

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x Fem reader

Summary: Charlie and Y/N were best friends and a couple as teens, after their breakup they meet again 4 years later on JATP and have to work together. Will they be able to recover more than their friendship?

If Charlie knew anything in life, it was that he had to take things carefully. Especially with such strong feelings involved. In general, when you like someone, the least you want is for that person to see you as a friend, but particularly for them, recovering their friendship bond was the most important step.

“You were so cute!” Tori and Owen are looking at photos of the guitarist's childhood on his phone. A photo of little Charlie in a suit grinning from ear to ear while holding a girl as if he is spinning her around shows up.

That memory is one of his favorites. He was always a very loved boy with many friends, but in the case of girls he was not the most popular. His best friend on the other hand was, at least for him, the most beautiful girl he had ever seen and boys were always around her. He knew he needed to find a partner for the dance so that she wouldn't feel guilty or he wouldn't feel humiliated by not having someone to go with.

However, he was rejected, quite a few times. He didn’t want to say anything about the dance to his best friend that week because he knew that she would stay home with him without hesitation. But that day half an hour before, he arrived in a suit and flowers for her, so at least he could have a picture of such an important moment with the person he loves the most, and he was the one surprised.

“It was about time Char, we have to take about 30 pictures before we go. Mom bought you a tie so we can match." She is up and down looking for one of her shoes, not even turning to see her friend who doesn’t know if he understood correctly.

At that moment she finally turns to see him and runs for a hug, Charlie barely had time to raise his arm with the flowers.

“You look so handsome, and the flowers are perfect. Best partner ever, I love you so much C! I’ll be ready in a second.”

She had planned to go with him from the beginning, and thought it was an implicit pact. That realization made Charlie's heart beat a lot faster that day. No matter how many people invited her, she wanted to go with him. He spent the night with his favorite person dancing and singing, feeling grateful for her, this light who always chooses him of all people.

“I looked pretty good in those clothes.” Y/N says as she and Madison sit at the table.

“You always look amazing, but yeah that night was special.” It's also the night that he realized that he was feeling more than friendship for his best friend, but this is not the time to talk about it.

He decides to continue preparing his waffles, than even though it already has like 5 ingredients, it seems something is missing.

Y/N blushes a little and smiles. “Here, handsome.” She hands him a can of pringles that she grabbed from the cafeteria when she saw him making eggo’s.

“Perfect, Y/N Y/L teaching everyone why she's my soulmate.” Everyone at the table begins to complain about what they qualify as the most disgusting thing they have ever seen, while the former couple smiles happily as they secretly link their legs under the table and continue their breakfast.

Little details like that one, or as removing all the products that she would take with milk from her hands because she seems to forget every morning that she is allergic can make a difference.

“You are 22 years old and you are still as careless as when we were children, I do not understand how you have survived these 4 years."

“You were always the one who cared about it and kept me safe, I guess unconsciously having you close my brain says, ‘no worries, Char will take care of it.’ So I’m sorry, I'll be more careful.”

A seriously ill 10-year Y/N on the way to the hospital invaded Charlie's mind, whom quickly shook off the bad memory.

“It’s all good, bright star.”

“What did you say?” Madison asks.

“Bright star. I know Kenny calls her ‘golden star’, but he’s the copycat. I've been calling her like that all my life.”

Y/N just smiles, enjoying the moment. She had not heard those words from his lips for years, and honestly Kenny also calling her a star even If it was sweet, made her remember Charles practically every day, and that didn’t help at all to get over the guitarist.

“You are my brightest burning star.” Madison replies, looking at Charlie with amusement in her eyes.

At that moment the actor understands what is going through his co-star's head and panics.

“So this queen is the one who has you so inspired, I should have realized it before.”

“She’s always my inspiration, period.” Y/N starts to laugh while blushing, and Madison’s attention falls completely on her.

“And I guess ‘Bright’ is a coincidence? And rise through the night, you and I, We will fight to shine together...Bright forever.” The songwriter wants to disappear at that precise moment while everyone turns to see her as if she had a third eye on her forehead.

“But you wrote bright long before you even knew Charlie was part of the proyect.” Owen adds, smirking.

“If you are asking me if I draw inspiration from the people I love, to write... the answer is yes. And yes, of course I love him.” How is it possible for the guitarist to slow things down when she says things like that in front of everyone? All he wants right now is to kiss her. This discovery means that despite the time she still had him in mind, the song cannot have been written for long. Hope is flooding his body.

“Ok but they inspiring each other is the sweetest thing in the world, goals right there.” Tori adds excited, her friends blushing.

All those teasing moments helped them to be more transparent with their feelings, hugging, touching, and basically staying close each time they finished their work obligations, almost as if they were afraid that the other would disappear or as if they were trying to make up for lost time.

“We need a lot more energy, especially from Charlie. Luke lives for music, nothing can give him more joy than being on stage."

"They have been working for 17 hours straight and at least 15 attempts with this musical." Paul tries to reason with Kenny mid-recording of Now or Never, which still does not come out as the director was expecting.

“What was in the recording studio that is not here now? I thought they would show an even greater energy than there after they stepped on stage."

They both turn to each other, as if the light had been turned on at the same time, and Paul takes his phone.

A few minutes later Y/N walks on set, Sunset Curve smiles upon seeing her.

“I wanted to make sure that we are fulfilling the vision of our beloved songwriter. Let's not disappoint her, okay? Let's try it one more time." Kenny shouts before starting to record again.

Instantly the energy is seen a thousand times higher, Charlie more radiant than ever, while Y/N replicates his energy behind the cameras, flooding him with sass and attitude. The young singer also motivates her now friends and unknowingly gave Sunset Curve that extra thing they needed to finally achieve the perfect performance. Kenny and Paul doing a fist bump behind the screens.

Soon their chemistry and energy turned into open conversation. The way they made everyone on set cry the first time they practiced Unsaid Emily or how connected and dreamy they were while dancing to Perfect Harmony when Madison wasn't on set.

But they still weren’t together, at least officialy.

If Charlie was honest, the fear of throwing himself all over and losing her again terrified him. The industry they love so much and decided to work in doesn't let having a relationship be easy, and if things go wrong again, they don't know if it might be possible to fix it again. It was basically a leap of faith.

Nonetheless, he knows he's willing, but what about her?

That morning he enters the set overwhelmed with his situation when he sees an even more overwhelmed Y/N walk by without even turning around, almost running to the recording studio.

“I advise you to give her some space for a few hours. Let's say she’s going to have a pretty difficult day."

"Why? What happened?" Jeremy asks as he and Owen stand next to the director.

“She got a call from the people at Netflix, they have already approved almost all the music except ‘Stand Tall’, the closing song, and her favorite. They will come in an hour to hear her presentation and convince them that it is good enough."

At that moment Charlie has an idea. There is no way that he will leave her alone, if he has the opportunity to help her he will do it and he’ll drag along all the people he needs to achieve it.

"Kenny, do you happen to have the music sheets for the song?"

“Don’t tell me-” Owen tries to ask but Charlie interrumpts him.

“Yes, let’s get to work boys.”

An hour later Y/N is freaking out, and she can't help but wish Charlie was around. Of all the days he could choose to disappear, he chose today.

She walks towards the auditorium, where to her surprise way more people than she expected are present, including most of the cast. But there is no sign of her lover boy anywhere.

Now or never. She takes a deep breath and start playing the keyboard. Her voice is the only thing that accompanies the keys. Everything is going as planned, but she can't help but feel distracted, nervous, and overwhelmed.

She is about to give up this fight internally when a drum before the second verse gives her the strength to continue singing, Owen smiles and winks at her to give her some peace of mind, and just a few seconds later Jeremy begins to accompany them with the bass. She knows whose idea it is and she just waits for him to come out from wherever he is hidden.

"I’m going out of my mind, Whatever happens, even if I'm the last standing I’ma stand tall, I’ma stand tall." His voice finishes waking her up and she accompanies him in the chorus, their chemistry electrifying everyone until every single person is standing, the cast supporting, dancing and clapping while the couple continues to focus on each other, separating out of obligation every so often but taking the opportunity to sing along with Jeremy and Owen who were doing an amazing job too, impacting with their solos.

The song ends and the boys disappear while Y/N talks to the people who came to evaluate her work, who finally approve the last song on the soundtrack that she has been working on for so long and to which she put all her soul.

The very second people outside the cast leave, Y/N looks for who has always been the boy of her life, the one who has proven that even though the years go by, they only need a few seconds to be themselves again, to be everything again. And as soon as she finds him hanging around only with the other 3 members of JATP she runs and jumps on him, entwining her legs at his hips and hugging him from the neck with all her strength, he immediately secures her by putting his arms around her waist.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

The band starts screaming “Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss!” hoping that one of the two will already dare to take the next step, and Y/N stamps her lips against Charlie's, who reacts almost automatically and kisses her back hard, deciding quickly this is the happiest moment of his life. He finally got the girl, or with what just happened, her fierce girl got him.

Hours later both are in Y/N's apartment curled up on a sofa, enjoying being together again.

“Yes, that sexy, beautiful, adorable and talented man is my boyfriend, Charlie Gillespie.”

Charlie chuckles at her random declaration. “What was that?”

“I’m practicing, and I wanted to say it aloud. I’m just so happy right now.”

His heart melts, she’s the most beautiful thing in the world. His brightest burning star.

His girlfriend doesn't give him time to reply, devouring his lips again. After all, she has four years to recover, and as always, he is more than willing to help her.

Thank you so much for reading!

NEXT PART HERE

Tag list:

@siennanoelle01

@reblogserpent

@kiss-themoongoodbye

@writerinlearning

@rachelle3musicals

[ruzek-halstead]

i remember it all too well

julie has a hard week, but luke is there with excellent cuddling abilities. 

masterlist

It had been a hard week for Julie. While her music career with the boys was starting to take off, she was still a high school student first and had assignments and tests she couldn't ignore. On this day in particular, it was nearing one in the morning and Julie's eyeballs were burning with the need to sleep. But she couldn't, not yet. She had finished an essay for English nearly an hour ago, and she still had to study for a Biology test. At this point, she wasn't sure she was going to make it.

"Okay, what about this?" Julie let her head drop onto her textbook. The boys knew how much she had to get done tonight, and out of solidarity, they were lounged around her room to keep her company. It would have been fine, except Reggie was unable to stop talking at all times, Luke had his guitar and he also had an inability to stop strumming it. Alex recognized she needed peace and quiet, so he shushed his best friends every once in a while. But then Luke started creating riffs for a potential new song, so Alex forgot all about silence and started hitting any surface in the room that could substitute for his drum set. "That sounds sick, dude! Let me get my bass!" At the possibility of having a full-out jam session in her bedroom while she was trying to memorize the human body systems, Julie had to say something. "I really appreciate you guys sticking around, but I think I'm going to head to bed soon," Julie told them with an inevitable yawn. "I'll see you all in the morning." Julie avoided Luke's intense gaze, because he knew her too well. Of course she wasn't planning on going to bed yet, but if they thought so, they would retire for the night. "Okay," Reggie agreed, walking over to Julie to drop a quick kiss on the crown of her head. "Good luck on your test tomorrow! You're going to kill it, like always." Julie sent him a soft smile in return. "Thanks, Reg." "Yeah, you're going to do fantastic," Alex praised, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder. "You're the smartest person I know." "You're dead. You don't know many people," Reggie pointed out, staring in confusion. Alex whipped around to glare at him. "Yeah Reggie, I think she knows that." "Anyway, goodnight Jules, see you in the morning!" When she heard the tell-tale sign of their poof, she turned back around to hit the books. But she had been staring at the respiratory system for ages now and it just wasn’t working; she was so exhausted, her brain wasn’t retaining information anymore. “Hey,” Luke murmured quietly. Julie felt his hand crawl under her curls to the nape of her neck in a comforting gesture. “It’s time for some sleep.” His hand softly rubbed at the knots in her neck, then joined his other hand on her shoulders. Julie hummed in satisfaction. It had only been a few weeks that their entire dynamic changed and she was able to feel her newest best friends. And ever since then, they always found an excuse to be in touch with each other. It was amazing how close they’d all gotten immediately after the boys appeared, especially when they had no physical connection at all. Now that they did, they were sure to take full advantage. Luke was especially appreciative of his newfound corporealism. He had always been told that he was very touch-oriented; it was how he liked to show his affection, and it absolutely killed him and that he wasn’t able to do that with Julie. They became so close, so fast, and while it only strengthened their connection further, he could only imagine the possibilities if he had more of a physical ability. But now that he did, he used it to its full extent. “I’m not ready for this test,” Julie moaned, leaning her head down further. It allowed Luke more access to rub the tension out of her shoulders, but he feared her uncomfortable position may only do further damage to her spine. “Your test is during last period. You can study at lunch and during your free period,” he suggested. He had never seen Julie so physically and mentally exhausted and it genuinely worried him; he just wanted to take care of her. “Flynn even offered to help you.” Julie nodded her head. Truth be told, Luke’s ministrations coupled with her utter exhaustion was leading her to fall asleep right there and then. “Alright, it’s bed time,” Luke decided. He guided a sleepy Julie over to her bed and pulled the covers back so she could crawl in. Her curls fanned out across her pillow and he sat at the edge of her bed, mostly to gaze. For the first time that night, she looked so peaceful and he couldn't help himself when his hand snuck up to caress her cheek softly Julie leaned her head closer to his hand. "My brain is so fried. I don't even know what I don't know anymore." "Do you need anything else? I can sneak you that pint of Ben and Jerry's. I don't think Reggie's eaten all of it." "No, I don't want that," Julie replied. She took a moment to study his face, then met his gaze with a soft smile. "I could use a good cuddle though, if you're up to it." Luke kept his facial expression neutral and ignored the way his heartbeat accelerated dramatically. If it was what she needed, who was he to deny her that? Julie scooted over to the other end of the bed to give Luke room to slip in. He leaned back against the headboard and watched quietly as Julie gravitated towards him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head soundly against his chest. "Thanks for being here, Luke," she whispered lowly. Luke brought his arm down to wrap around her. "Of course." The silence was palpable, but it was nice. Luke's hand was softly caressing her arm, and as her breathing deepened, he was fairly convinced she fell asleep. Hypothetically, he could just poof out. But then Julie would quite literally fall through the space he was occupying and it would probably scare her awake and ruin all the relaxation they'd just accomplished. So instead, he started to extricate himself as easily and quickly as possible. But Julie held out; her grip tightened around his waist and he wasn't able to pull himself away. "Please stay." Luke was never good at saying no, much less to girls, and especially not to Julie. "Are you sure?" Luke chuckled nervously. "You got somewhere else to be?" She teased in an airy, sleepy tone. "A hot date, maybe?" He snorted. "Only if you count Reggie. He likes to cuddle too." Silence surrounded them again, and this time, he was certain Julie fell asleep. He was glad she was finally resting; it had been a tough week and he hated nothing more than to see her suffer and not be able to help (school was never his thing). Eventually he dozed off too. When Julie's alarm clock went off on her phone a few hours later, Luke jolted awake. He wasn't used to waking up to a blaring alarm, he was hardly even used to waking up at all. They never used to sleep before, but with their new abilities, along came a weakness. Julie rolled over to turn off her alarm, and when she looked up, she was definitely not expecting to see Alex and Reggie, sitting quietly at her desk with amused expressions. She squealed, relying on her instincts, which happened to be throwing the closest object in her possession (her phone). It hit Reggie square in the gut and he doubled over in pain. "Jesus Christ! Were you guys just watching like weirdos?" Luke finally noticed them as well, watching in amusement as Alex held Reggie up. "Oh, we used to watch you sleep all the time," Luke commented, solely because the horrified look on Julie's expression was worth it. "He's kidding," Alex added with an eye roll. "We are here because Luke didn't come home last night and we were worried sick." Reggie seemed to have recovered from his injury because he was smirking as he said his next few words. "But clearly, we were worried for nothing because he's fine." "Julie took good care of him," Alex teased. Julie's eyes flickered between the two, then back to Luke, who was holding back his own amused smirk. "I have to get ready for school. Get out of my room." "You're not even offering breakfast?" "OUT!" But even as they all filed out of the room, Julie sent Luke one more appreciative glance. 

x

haha, thanks for reading. just a little something i felt like writing. 

tagging: @grootsgillespie || @jayhalsteadcpd || @moreflowersthanweeds || @well-hes-just-too-cute || @echocharm17618 || @leopard-print-slippers || @jandthephantoms || @scribblingfangirl || @n0wornever || @simpformolina || @only-trust-fictional-characters || @snowmione18 || @tellurphantoms || @knitsessed || @carriewilsons || @elitharavenclaw || @wakeupfantoms || @uselessnerdnherblahg || @anotheronechicagobog || @katie-navarro || @bookwormswillruletheworld || @lmaohuh || @unsaid-emily

(p.s. this is everyone on my juke taglist, please let me know if you’d like to be removed so i’m not clouding up your notifications unnecessarily!! :)

join my taglist here

[where-theres-smoak-2]

10 Little Things I Missed in JATP The First Time Around.

So after binge watching Julie and the Phantoms in one day naturally the first thing I did was go back and watch it all over again and on the rewatches I noticed some things that I didn’t the first time around. Now I’m a few months late to the party so most of these are probably things that most people have already spotted but I figured I’d share them with you anyway just because I love how much detail they put into this show and I need to fangirl about it lol. Obviously there are spoilers. 

1) Missing Persons. In episode 1 when the boys are eating the hotdogs, behind luke you can see his missing person poster showing that his parents were looking for him and trying to get him to come home which is honestly just heartbreaking and tears at my soul. 

2) Signs, all the Signs. In episode 2 when they go to check on reggie’s parents and find the bike shop the name of the bike shop is ‘Petals on the Beach’. Julie’s mum was in a band named ‘Rose and the Petal Pushers.’ Then in episode 5 when we see Willie at the Hollywood Ghost Club we can see that he has a flower pin on his jacket. 

I don’t know for sure if it’s a dahlia or not but it does look like it is to me. Then in episode 6 when Luke goes to see his parents there is a vase of Dahlia’s on the counter behind them. Obviously these flowers link to Julie’s mum and I think it’s interesting that these three things are being linked to Julie’s mum. My theory is that these are connected to each of the boys unfinished business somehow and Rose is leaving hints for the boys. I also think their unfinished business might link back in someway to their parents. We know that they all left their parents on bad terms. Reggie’s parents were having troubles and were close to divorce, Alex’s weren’t accepting of his sexual orientation and Luke ran away leaving on bad terms. We’ve seen a little bit of resolution in Luke’s regard but the other two still haven’t had any. I also don’t think its any one thing that’s their unfinished business but more like a collection of milestones they need to resolve. 

3) Fire, Water and Leather Vests. In episode 6 when the band performs finally free Julie is wearing her mum’s vest, its the same one we see Rose wearing in episode 1 when she meets sunset curve. 

Since then either rose or julie has added doodles to it. One of the doodles looks like flames, fire is a symbol of rebirth or resurrection. Another of the doodles looks like waves/ water. Water is a symbol of both life and freedom which makes it kind of perfect for a song called ‘finally free’.  

There is more fire symbolism in Stand Tall with the special effects behind the band showing fire like imagery. Throughout the performance it shows glowing embers and fireworks. 

Which is also similar to the firery effect made by the lights in the background of their Finally Free performance. 

These along with other symbols of rebirth and resurrection is obviously connected to how the boys were brought back to ‘life’ again by Julie but also how they brought Julie back to life too. 

4) More Doodles. Again sticking with episode 6 when we see Julie drawing on her microphone she is drawing a birthday cake which is meant for Luke. We know that she only seems to draw things that are important to her on the microphone the other doodles include a rose and a dahlia obviously symbolic of her mother, the words double trouble which links her to Flynn, the words I’ve got the music and music notes, this is her connection to music. Then the final thing she draws on it is the birthday cake which shows how Luke is important to her. I also think its important that she does this right after learning more about him and seeing a deeper side to him, I do think this is when her feelings for him really deepened. 

5)  Braided Together. This is one that I think alot of people noticed but the braids in Julie’s hair in both I got the Music and Stand Tall are the colours of the three boys, red, blue and pink. Again showing how intertwined all of their souls are with each other and with music. I think it very much represents how the boys brought music back into her life.

6) The Power of Purple. Both Caleb and Julie have the rare power of being able to make ghosts visible to lifers and most likely have other mystical powers too if that last scene with the band glowing and being able to be touched by Julie is any indication. Both of them wear the colour purple. 

The colour purple symbolises magic, mystery and spirituality. I do feel like Julie and Caleb are the opposite sides of the same coin. They both posess similar powers but they are using them for very different reasons. I think they very much represent the living and the dead. Julie kind of brings people back to life whereas Caleb draws people to the otherside, the afterlife. 

7) Greek Mythology. Speaking of the afterlife, in episode 5 when at the Hollywood Ghost Club, Caleb encourages the boys to eat some food, on first watch this just came across as a kinda funny scene but when I rewatched it I realised something. I actually think this is a nod at the myth of Persephone and the pomegranate seeds. In greek mythology if you ate or drank anything in the underworld then you would be trapped there forever. Obviously we know not long after eating Caleb brands the boys with his club stamp forcing them to make the decision of joining his band for eternity or being destroyed by the jolts. He decieves them just as Hades decieves Persephone.  

8) Full Circle. Both the band’s first performance (Bright) and last (stand tall) starts with Julie on stage alone unknowing that the boys are going to show up. In the first performance she doesn’t know yet that they can be visible when on stage with her and in Stand tall she thinks they have been destroyed by the jolts already. It brings her journey full circle. 

9) Maternal Ties. The first time we see Luke perform and the last he has the same scarf tied around his arm.

He also has this same scarf in his back pocket during finally free both the performance and the episode as a whole. My theory is that the scarf belonged to his mother. During Unsaid Emily when you see him packing and arguing with his mother the scarf is in his back pocket. You can see it in his back pocket again during unsaid emily when he is singing as a ghost if that makes sense. 

It tends to show up, from what I can tell, either when Luke is having a big moment like the night that was suppose to be sunset curve’s big break at the Orpheum or Julie and the Phantoms performance at the Orpheum. Or when it has something to do with his mother like in episodes Finally Free and Unsaid Emily. I think he carries it as a good luck charm. 

10) Butterflies and Roses. In episode 7 during the edge of great performance the butterflies on julie’s top are the colours of the band. Red for Reggie, blue for Luke, pink for Alex and purple for Julie. Butterflies are a symbol of transformation and again another symbol of rebirth and resurrection. Also during the final performance Reggie has butterflies and flowers on his vest. Luke has roses on his guitar strap (also skulls but lets ignore that for now) and Alex has a rose in his suit jacket. 

Again the butterflies are symbolising the rebirth of the group but also could be to do with that transformation the boys go through at the end where they can now be touched. (I have soo many questions about that scene.) Also we have the roses which again shows the link to Rose and how she brought Julie and the boys together. 

Like I said I’m sure most of these are really obvious but I get excited about little details like these and the producers really did do an amazing job at weaving them throughout the show. I’m sure there are even more that I’ve missed so if you know of anymore please feel free to enlighten me. Still keeping my fingercrossed for a season 2.

 Edit: I found more fun little details and yes I am obsessed, part 2 can be read here if anyone is interested. 

[charlies-gillespie]

unsaid emily | charlie gillespie (part 2)

PART ONE

paring: fem!reader x charlie gillespie

summary: it’s been a year and a half since reader and charlie have seen each other, and both have never stopped loving the other

length: long

rating: PG

warnings: a little language, more upset!charlie, more emotions, angst, a lil bit of fluff

!! NOT MY GIF !!

MASTERLIST

author’s note: for the sake of the imagine and my sanity, the band name is going to be ‘sunset swerve’ because i’m not creative enough to come up with something better

another author’s note: i apologize ahead of time for typos. i wrote most this in the middle of the night when i couldn’t sleep. let’s blame any typos on my sleep deprivation

Your best friend shows up at your door at 5. They knock loudly and yell, “Y/N! Hurry up! We’re gonna be late.”

They invited you to see their favorite band live. You have never heard of the band ‘Sunset Swerve’ so you have no idea why you agreed to go in the first place.

Quickly, you grab your phone and your ticket to get into the venue before opening the door. Your best friend stands there in a Sunset Swerve t-shirt and jeans. You blink at them and say, “You’re going all in.”

“Of course,” they say in reply. “Anyway. Doors open in like thirty minutes. Let’s go. I want a good spot since we have general admission tickets.”

You’ve never even heard of Sunset Swerve. You probably should’ve listened to some of their songs before agreeing to go with your best friend.

Your best friend drives off to Times Square in New York. That’s where the concert is being held. It’s been a long time since your last concert, over two years. You used to go to concerts all the time with Charlie before you broke up.

Y/BFF/N finds a parking spot then the two of you find your way to the line. There aren’t a lot of people here yet and doors open in fifteen minutes. While waiting for the doors to open, you look up some of Sunset Swerve’s songs. They have a demo out but they sing a couple unreleased songs when performing.

The doors open before you get a chance to listen to one of their songs. Your best friend quickly pulls you inside. You get your tickets checked and you get wristbands put on your wrists for general admission. Your best friend practically runs to get as close to the stage as they can get. You follow them.

Both of you get close to barricade. You’re only about six feet from the barricade and eight feet from the stage. You hope your best friend is satisfied with the spot you both got.

“Y/N,” your best friend says. “Have you heard any of their songs?”

You make a face and say, “Only when you listen to them, I’m only here because you couldn’t find anyone else to come with you and you accidently bought two tickets.”

They laugh and say, “That’s true. Let me at least tell you a little bit about them. They’re based in Los Angeles and they formed maybe a year or so ago. There are three of them in the band.”

A red flag goes off in your head. A three man band from Los Angeles that formed about a year ago. That sounds too familiar.

You turn toward your best friend and ask, “Y/BFF/N, who are the members of this band?”

“Jeremy Shada, Owen Joyner, and-” Guitar chords are played, cutting your best friend off before she can say the name of the third member. The stage lights dim and drums are played. The thousands of fans around you scream in excitement. You stand there, almost frozen.

An all too familiar voice says, “Times Square, are you ready to rock out with Sunset Swerve?”

Your heart drops into your stomach as you watch Jeremy and your ex-boyfriend, Charlie, walk out onto the stage. Your eyes widen as you hear Charlie play the beginning chords to Late Last Night. Your best friend jams out beside you but your eyes are on Charlie.

His hair has grown a lot. He wears a cutoff tank top with jeans. It’s still Charlie in front of you. The lights are probably so bright that he can’t see you but you can see him clearly since you’re about ten feet away from him.

Once the song has ended, the crowd cheers.

Owen says into his microphone, “Who here has never seen Sunset Swerve before?” A bunch of people scream and your best friend raises your hand in the air, even though you protest.

“No no no,” you mumble.

Your eyes are still on the stage and you see Charlie look directly at you since Y/BFF/N put your hand in the air for you. You stare up at him and inhale sharply when you make eye contact with your ex. Charlie’s eyes widen as Jeremy says something along the lines of “you okay?” Charlie just nods and steps to his microphone. “It’s nice to see some old and new faces in the crowd tonight,” he says.

The crowd cheers again as Charlie smiles, looking around the New York Crowd. He waits a second before he says, “This next song is one I wrote about a year and a half or so ago when I made what was probably the worst mistake of my life.” He switches from an electric to an acoustic guitar. “This is called Unsaid Y/N.”

You take a deep breath and your best friend looks over at you. You sigh softly as the beginning chords are played.

First things first We start the scene in reverse All of the lines rehearsed Disappeared from my mind

“Y/N?” your best friend says. “You never told me that you knew him, or any of them.”

With a shrug, you say, “It’s not a time in my life that I was happy about.”

When things got loud One of us running out I should've turned around But I had too much pride

Yeah, he should’ve turned around. You were just heated in the moment when you told him to get out. When he left, he never came back.

You look back at the stage to see that Charlie’s eyes are on you. He’s practically singing this song to you.

No time for goodbyes Didn't get to apologize Pieces of a clock that lies broken

“I should’ve known since he named the song after you,” your best friend says. “It’s kind of cool how he wrote a song about you.”

With a sigh, you say, “He ran out the first chance he got. I don’t even think he wanted to be with me anymore at that point.”

If I could take us back, if I could just do that And write in every empty space the words "I love you" in replace Then maybe time would not erase me If you could only know I'd never let you go And the words I most regret are the ones I never meant to leave Unsaid Y/N

Y/BFF/N says, “Wait, you dated Charlie Gillespie and never told me? You knew how big of a fan I am of them.”

“I didn’t know he was in a band, Y/BFF/N,” you say. “He was distant from me for the last of our relationship. The band explains it.”

In that moment, a wave of guilt hits you. He was spending time with the guys and getting the band together. You should’ve been more understanding, but instead you acted like a child and threw a temper tantrum when he wouldn’t give you attention.

Silent days, mysteries and mistakes Who'd be the first to break? Guess we're alike that way He said, she said Conversations in my head And that's just where they're gonna stay forever

You feel tears well in your eyes and you make it a mission to find Charlie after the show was over. Charlie’s crying up on stage too. You can see the emotion in his eyes and his cheeks wet from tears that have spilled over his eyelids.

Your best friend looks between you and Charlie before saying, “You still love him.” It wasn’t a question.

With no hesitation, you say, “Yeah, I do.”

Then the song ends and you clap. A smile forms on your face and Charlie looks at you. He lets out a little laugh away from his microphone. Jeremy claps him on the back and the show continues.

***

Immediately after the guys leave the stage, you and your best friend walk off to find out where the band went. They have to be around here somewhere.

As you try to enter the backstage area, a security guard stops you. “Only VIPs are allowed back here, ma’am,” he says.

“Please,” you beg. “I need to talk to Charlie. You don’t understand. That song, Unsaid Y/N. That’s me. I’m Y/N. I need to talk to him.”

The security guard says, “I’ve heard that one before. Move along, fangirl.”

You look at your best friend and you’re about to give up when you hear, “Y/N”. The voice came from behind you.

Quickly, you spin around. In the thinning crowd, you see Charlie standing less than ten feet away from you. You stand, frozen in shock that he’s standing in front of you.

After the moment sinks in, you run to Charlie and fling your arms around him. “I’m sorry,” you sob, burying your face in the crook of Charlie’s neck. “I was the one acting like a child that night.”

Charlie wraps his arms tight around your waist and he says, “I was the one that walked out and just never came back.”

“I wish I could take it all back,” you cry. “I didn’t want you to go, Charlie. I wanted you to stay. I know that it didn’t seem like it but I did want you to stay.”

He says, “You threw a glass at my head, Y/N. It didn’t seem like you wanted me to stay.”

You pull back a bit and look up at Charlie. Both your faces are wet with tears as you say, “I didn’t want you to go contrary to what my actions said. Actions speak louder than words, blah blah, but I really didn’t want you to go.”

His hands move to cup your cheeks and you lean into his touch, sighing softly. “I had a surprise I was getting ready for you,” Charlie admits. “I was writing a song for you that I was going to sing to you when I proposed to you. I just needed one more day.”

“You were planning to propose?” you ask, half in shock of Charlie’s confession.

Charlie laughs and says, “I wouldn’t become distant from you without a good reason, Y/N. I just couldn’t actually tell you what I was doing or it would’ve ruined my surprise.”

A little laugh escapes your lips and you say, “Now I feel like an ass.”

He shakes his head and says, “No, you had every right to be upset with me. I understand how it looked now and I promise you that I will never become distant from you again.”

You stare up into Charlie’s pretty hazel eyes and you say, “I trust you.”

His thumb wipes away from fresh tears and he asks, “Can I, um, can I kiss you?”

You nod as Charlie leans into you, pressing his lips to yours softly. Your heart pounds in your chest as if it’s the first time he’s kissing you again. Both of you hear a “whoop” behind you but it doesn’t break you apart.

Eventually, Charlie pulls back and says, “Come back to Los Angeles. The house is empty without you.”

“Let me talk it over with Y/BFF/N,” you say.

Then you hear someone shout, “Go back to Los Angeles. I’ll come with you. I’ve always wanted to go to LA.”

You and Charlie both laugh before you say, “Looks like I’m moving back to Los Angeles.”

Charlie smiles and hugs you, lifting you up and spinning you around. You giggle and wrap your arms tightly around his neck.

He puts you down and he says, “I love you, you know that?”

“I love you too,” you admit to him. “I never stopped either.”

The smile on Charlie’s lips gets wider before you bring him down to you again, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

Owen says, “Okay, get a room. Before then, can we go get some food.”

Charlie laughs and pulls back from the kiss. “So, Y/N,” he says. “What are some good places to eat around here?”

[trevor-wilson-covington]

What could have been...

//Saw that the site I use to make mood boards has a CD Cover option and thought it would be fun to do Sunset Curve’s Demo and Unreleased Songs (+Home Is Where My Horse Is) as they would look as singles!!! I may make CD Covers for the other 13 songs in the show...if people end up really liking these ones and if inspiration strikes!

**Gave an idea of what I think the other 7 songs would be about/why they were written (said what we know Unsaid Emily, Now or Never, and Home Is Where My Horse Is are about already of course too)!!

1. Unsaid Emily: Is of course about Luke’s rough relationship with his mom, which was never resolved before his death. It touches on how he knew he should have turned around and come back home but his pride stopped him. All the conversations he had created in his head about what they would say to each other when he finally saw her again stayed that way, thoughts in his head. Wondering if he had been able to say the right things to his mom or made up with her before dying, would time not have erased the memory of him?  

2. Get Lost: I believe it is about the feeling of restlessness and wanting to just take off on an adventure somewhere new or unique. Similar to how Luke finds sleeves (zleeves) restricting, this song is about how life can feel suffocating sometimes and all you want to do is grab a bag of essentials and walk in the mist/ride off into the night to a freer life. 

3. Long Weekend: Is about the band’s friendship/brotherhood/sense of found family and how over many weekends they find themselves going through a lot of struggles and heartache together. These are the weekends that feel the longest because there is so much the four boys help each other through and many times they find they don’t want the weekend to end so they can spend more non-band time together to just be four stupid teen boys navigating all the twists and turns of life. 

4. Crooked Teeth: My thoughts are that it could have been written when he had braces/a retainer in the 90s & was self-conscious of it, so it was written to cheer Reggie up about his braces/retainer & pretty much say "hey, Reggie...people's smiles vary & they're all unique & beautiful"...instead of mocking him, like the show seems to tell us it was written to do.

5. My Name Is Luke: Is a darker, more introspective song about Luke’s struggle with an identity crisis where he feels he’s being pulled in different directions. One side is the Luke who loves his parents and wants to make them happy and have them be proud of him. The other side is the Luke. who is passionate about writing and playing music, who thrives off the feelings and energies of the crowd as they connect with him and his lyrics. Luke finds he can’t be one version of Luke without ultimately giving up the other and trying to do both is exhausting and soul crushing at times. The title is his way of saying ‘Hey, this is my name, it’s who I am, and I can be a loving son my parents can be proud of while also doing what I love and making a difference in the lives of people who listen to my music’. He just wishes his parents could come to understand that he loves music and he’s really good at it, so why can’t he continue doing it and make them proud at the same time.  

6. Now or Never: Is, as we know, about Sunset Curve’s rise to fame and how they can dream as though they’ll never die but they’re going to live their life as though today could be their last day alive. They aren’t looking to the future, because all they need are each other and the energy that is coursing through their bodies in the present. They hear a voice in their heads saying you only have this one life, so make the most of it so when you die you’ll have had no regrets about the things you did or didn’t do. This is their time to shine and even when their lives were bleak or lacking, their days were still the best of their lives because they were making music and gradually making a name for themselves doing so. 

Weaved in are of course lyrics that seem to foreshadow their 3 deaths with the mention of shock to their hearts (the defibrillators used to try to keep them alive in the alley or ambulance), clocks moving forward but they don’t get older (how for 25 yrs they were in limbo and didn’t age and are now 17-year-old ghosts in 2020), how they kept on climbing 'til their stars collided (floated up out of the ambulance to the dark place until crashing into Julie’s life (she’s a star as Luke says)), and how all that they left in the past was just the just the key to paradise (all the things they left behind once they died were just ‘stepping stones’ to the ‘paradise’ of heaven for most people or in the boy’s case the path to Julie and playing music again).

7. Late Last Night: Is about the late nights the four boys spent out at clubs/venues leading up to the Orpheum, gigs that helped them gain a decent following, and all the crazy things they saw and did. 17-year-olds out late partying, possibly drinking, on school nights. A higher energy song, similar to Now or Never to match the antics of a bunch of teens practically let loose on the music/club scene during the band’s rise in the Hollywood/LA music scene in ‘93/’94/’95. It evokes the feelings of being wild and reckless as a teen, while also somehow capturing the energy of the nighttime as you move from the crowded main strip into residential areas and how quick and jarring the change can be.     

8. Lakeside Reflection: This is a tough one, but I think it would be about the individual experiences most or all of the boys have from going to lakes during summer with their families. There’s of course all the fun time spent with family, but in the reflection on the lake of those moments the boys only see the truth of their family dynamics, what was hidden behind a pleasant façade. 

For Luke, it was the strained relationship and fights with his mom over the band and his dreams. 

For Alex, it was the looks and offhanded comments made by his parents and the looks of sympathy from his sister, ever since he told them he was gay. 

For Reggie, it was the nights spent keeping his brother and sister distracted as the walls practically shook from the volume and intensity of his parents’ almost daily fights. 

And for Bobby, it was the truth that he kept up a façade even with the boys so they wouldn’t know that his family, that the others always believed to be perfect, wasn’t perfect at all. When rarely he saw his parents and they weren’t off on business trips or working late into the night, Bobby found them to be disinterested in his life and any affection or love was relegated to a pat on the back or a quick hand held before they rushed out the door once more. 

The happy summer vibes at the lake could never truly make any of the boys forget their truths, but at least they could let loose for the extent of their trips and finally feel like a carefree teen again.               

9. In Your Starlight: This would seem to be a certain kind of love song at first glance and for some people that’s what it may be, but to me it is a very specific kind of love song. This love song is about relationships each of the boys had, the very few of them, that didn’t turn out well for some reason or another. A passion for music overshadowing the passion to keep a relationship going. The fear of long-term commitment and a short-lived bliss, before the fighting starts, ending the relationship before it ever grew deeper. The smothering of a fire in the soul so outsiders can’t see one trace of its flicker, hidden behind a lie, in case they find out the truth and react with disgust or hatred. Or the overly flirtatious and, at times, clingy antics used to get a person interested in starting a relationship. To keep them invested in the relationship, in an effort to make sure they won’t leave out of boredom or for someone better. This song is from the perspective of those other people, how they saw the relationship, no matter the length, and what they see as the thing that ended it or kept it from growing stronger. How they all in some way felt like they were pulled in by light of each of the boys (the stars) and things were good at first, before the cracks started to appear and reality truly set in.    

10. Home Is Where My Horse Is: It’s an expression of where and whom Reggie calls home. The horse had never really stood for an actual horse, but rather it represented Luke, Alex, and Bobby. The people Reggie considered his family, his home, more than he ever would the house he had grown up in. Horses symbolize freedom without restraint, because riding a horse makes people feel they can free themselves from their own bindings. There is no constraining a horse when it runs with the wind, but they also enjoy the company of family and friends. Reggie wants freedom from the stuff with his parents and his own personal demons that keep him held back. He finds with the band, his real family, he can run free and be himself...enjoying being around the boys and not having to worry about fighting and drama. His home is where he (the horse) is... able to be its true self and go where the wind takes it.     

[gifted-burnout-archive]

The Other Side of Hollywood

Part Six

Word Count: 4.6K+

Author’s Note: UNSAID EMILY TIME BABYYYY! I read something about Luke’s character analysis and how physical touch is one of his love languages and it made me ache, so I wanted to play around with that a little from now on.

Also, not saying that part four predicted the release of the acoustic bright music video but... That’s the exact guitar I imagined and I’m currently very, very happy.

Warnings: sad Luke... Plus a lil threatening language.

Bip bap boom, you’re watching MTV. Here are some links:

Part One, Two, Three, Four, and Five. Masterlist, and Moodboard.

--

Julie Molina wasn’t an overly stubborn person, but she could certainly set her mind to something and stick with it.

After her conversation with Y/N, and after a search for Luke that came to no avail, Julie didn’t waste any more time or sunlight, marching over to the Patterson’s residence she had visited the week before, of course that time had been in secret. Armed with her mom’s cosiest jumper and Luke’s song in hand, she was banking that asking for forgiveness was easier than permission, that Luke would appreciate what she and Y/N had planned and were executing.

Just as she raised her hand to ring the doorbell, the air next to her shifted, and a moment later Luke had appeared, a frown coming onto his face once he saw her, more from confusion than anything else.

“Luke…”

“What are you doing here?” He asked, Julie’s hand dropping from the doorbell, ready to start the apology she thought would be happening a lot later on in the day.

“Ok, look, I uh…” Julie started, just wondering how to phrase it. “I know you’ve not been doing great and after I saw you here on your birthday-”

“You were spying on me?” Luke asked, his fists clenching. The last thing he needed was another person in his life lying to him, hiding things from him… Even if he was doing the same to Julie. “Even after that speech about boundaries, you were spying on me?” She had been pretty clear with the guys when they first arrived that respecting her boundaries was a must, and now here she was breaking his.

“I know… I’m sorry, it was wrong. But I’m worried about you Luke, we all are.” She confessed, speaking for more than herself, Reggie, and Alex.

“Yeah, well, you don’t have to be.” Luke muttered, turning away from her, leaving Julie to try one last plea.

“You’re not the only person who wants to speak to someone they love and can’t, Luke.” She sighed, and Luke looked down, his anger dissipating at the forlorn look on Julie’s face. She was too young to be so sad.

“You know, I don’t even know what I would say to her, even if she could hear me.” He admitted, hands stuffed in his pockets as he looked out on his front yard. He hated having to cut the grass every week, but now the thought of his dad having to do it made him feel worse, ashamed.

“Yes, you do… You’ve already said it.” Julie smiled, and Luke glanced over. “Trust me, ok?” She asked, and Luke took a moment. He wasn’t quite sure what the girl was getting at, but she seemed sure enough to convince him. He reached over, focusing his energy into his hand to ring the doorbell for her.

“Hello, can I help you?” The voice was that stern sort of warm Luke had grown up with, and for a moment he felt nervous, like his dad was talking to him instead of Julie.

“Hi. I’m Julie.” She introduced herself as Luke watched on, not quite sure how to feel. When he had visited on his own, his parents rarely spoke, the idea of one of them engaging in a full conversation seemed bizarre, far away to him. “Um… I believe you had a son named Luke?”

“Yes, that’s right.” His dad smiled a little at the mention of Luke’s name. “And… And you are again?”

“Julie Molina… Your son’s band used to play in my family’s garage?” Julie introduced herself again, Luke’s dad looking confused, and rightfully so. Luke never told them about the studio, thinking they wouldn’t get it. “I… I came across this song that he wrote, and I figured you might be interested?”

“Um… Well. Well, yes.” Luke’s dad fell over his words a little, shocked by the piece of paper Julie pulled from her back pocket. “Uh, please… please come in. I’m… I’m Mitch.” He introduced himself quickly, stepping out the way of the door to let her inside.

“Nice to meet you…” Julie said with a nod, beginning to follow the man into his home before looking back at Luke, still stood at the door. With a slight gesture, she brought the boy from his daze, and Luke quickly followed into the house before she closed the door.

“Can I, um, get you something?” Mitch offered, not quite sure how to act. A teenage girl had just come to his door with a song his song had written 25 years ago, after all.

“Oh, no. I’m good, thank you.” She politely declined, her eyes catching onto a photo frame sat in the lounge. “Is… Is this your son?” She asked, smiling at the photo of Luke as a kid.

“Yeah, that’s Luke. When he was 2.” Mitch explained, the smile on his face holding a deep sadness in it.

“Do you have any other children?” Julie asked, but Mitch just shook his head, both of them, and Luke, turning their attention to a set of approaching footsteps.

“Did I hear the doorbell?” A sweet voice asked, coming over and hugging Mitch from the side.

“Hi, hon. Um, this is Julie.” Mitch introduced, and Emily smiled over at the girl.

“Hello, Julie… My, that’s a beautiful sweater.” She complimented, and Julie smiled, looking down at the clothing item.

“Thank you… It was my mom’s.”

“Julie lives in the house where Luke and the band used to rehearse.” Mitch told his wife, who lost her smile at the thought of her son. “She was just telling me she found a song that Luke wrote.” Julie glanced down at the paper as Mitch spoke, holding it out to the pair.

“It’s a song about a girl named Emily?” She questioned, Luke’s mom’s face becoming one of stun.

“Oh… I’m Emily…” She whispered, and Julie smiled a little.

“Then I think your son may have written this song for you.” Julie replied, handing over the piece of paper, and taking a step back as Luke’s mom unfolded it with shaky hands, her husband holding her as he read over her shoulder.

“First things first, we start the scene in reverse. All of the lines rehearsed disappeared from my mind.” Luke found himself sitting down on the couch, right in his old spot, and beginning to sing as memories of his leaving home flashed before his eyes. “When things got loud, one of us running out, I should have turned around, but I had too much pride. No time for goodbyes, didn't get to apologise. Pieces of a clock that lies broken…”

It was Christmas Day, and he had argued with his parents about the band… Again. He had dropped out of school, they were furious… Threatened military camp on him to straighten him out, get his head back in the game. And he just yelled at her, he refused to stay in that house… The last time he saw her alive, and she had tears streaming down her face, he had angry words on his tongue, hate in his heart…

“If I could take us back… If I could just do that. And write in every empty space the words I love you in replace, and every time would not erase me. If you could only know I never let you go. And the words I most regret are the ones I never meant to leave… Unsaid Emily.” He couldn’t stop the tears running down his cheeks, just imagining what it must have been like for them, to see those flashing lights on the night he died, to know they would never get him back.

It was like magic, a sudden sound following his words: an instrument he couldn’t quite pin down, the melodies it created around him so warm and full and powerful. Luke glanced up when it appeared, and Julie glanced back at him, both confused where it had come from but trying their best not to react, Luke choosing to keep singing while Julie watched on.

“Silent days, mysteries and mistakes. Who'd be the first to break? Guess we're alike that way…” Luke continued, the unknown instrument accompanying him with deep, resonating notes. “He said, she said, conversations in my head. And that's just where they're gonna stay forever. If I could take us back… If I could just do that. And write in every empty space the words I love you in replace, then maybe time would not erase me. If you could only know I never let you go. And the words I most regret are the ones I never meant to leave… Unsaid Emily.”

“If I could take us back. If I could just do that. And write in every empty space the words I love you in replace then maybe time would not erase me.” A familiar voice, light and airy and sweet, joined in alongside Luke, and slowly he linked the dots together in his head, figuring out just who and what had joined his song. “If you could only know I never let you go. And the words I most regret are the ones I never meant to leave.” Her voice dropped away, as did the instrument. “Unsaid Emily.”

Somehow, from God knows where, she had sung with him again…

And played along on her cello.

“Thank you…” Emily whispered through tears, holding the paper tight to her chest, Julie wiping away tears of her own.

“You have no idea…” Mitch started, but the words got caught in his throat. Julie nodded gently, seeing Luke stand up from the couch in her peripheral.

“I write music in the same room that he did. And I can tell you it is a magical, happy place.” She promised, bringing a smile to both their faces.

“That’s so nice to know.” Mitch held his wife tighter, her hand on top of his as they allowed themselves their first truly happy thought of Luke in decades: there was no clouding from anger, no melancholy tinting the edges: he  had forgiven her, forgiven them, he had missed them, he had loved them, despite everything.

“I know he was only 17 when he…” Julie swallowed the lump in her throat, cutting herself off. “But he lived doing the one thing he was born to do. Not many people find that, but Luke did.” She smiled softly, Luke swiping his tears on his sleeve and leaving with the faintest of sounds, one Julie knew well. “He was lucky.”

“It was. It was so nice to meet you.” Emily held Julie’s hand in her own, the three sharing in that moment.

“It was nice to meet you too.” Julie wiped another tear away quickly, Luke’s parents walking her to the door, Emily holding tight to the last piece of her son she really had left.

As she closed the door behind her, and after finding Luke had completely disappeared from the house, Julie started the walk home under a slowly setting sun. Questions she couldn’t quite piece together rattled through her head the entire way, unable to figure out what she was trying to ask, let alone answer it. But as she came up to her own front porch to find Luke leaning against her bannister with, fiddling with the lucky blue rabbit foot he had on him at all times though she had never really taken notice of it before, the questions began piecing themselves into place.

“Hey.” She said softly, drawing his eyes up from his hand.

“Hey.” Luke replied.

“I’m sorry for overstepping.” She apologised as she made her way up the porch steps, but Luke shook his head in response.

“No I… I just had to leave. That was just…” He paused for a moment, finding his own words. “I didn’t have many regrets in my life except for running out on my parents. Especially my mom, so… Thank you.” He managed, the pair moving and finding themselves leaning on the bannister, looking out on the yard, up at the stars that had slowly begun to appear in the sky.

“You know, I wouldn’t have gotten the idea if it wasn’t for Y/N.” Julie said after a second, and Luke turned his head, staggered by her words. Y/N, of all people, had helped Julie with this? Y/N, who worked for Caleb trying to enslave their souls for eternity? “I know you guys had a big fight, she told me… And after hearing about her mom, how similarly you both left things… And I thought if I did this, if you knew she had helped, maybe you two would work it out…”

“It’s a little more complicated than an argument…” Luke confessed, running his hand through his hair. “How is she?” He asked, and Julie smiled a little.

“It’s an interesting little relationship you and she have, isn’t it?” She commented, earning a chuckle from Luke. “She’s… She’s good at hiding it, thinks I haven’t noticed… It’s like she’s unwell.” Julie said softly, looking back up at the stars. Looking over at her, Luke felt that shame building up again.

How could he keep lying to her? All Julie had been was a great friend, a confidant… His family. Not just his, but family for Alex and Reggie too. And now, knowing what Y/N had done and finding out that Julie had made a friend in her too? How could he stand by and let it all be ripped away from her, just like her mom had been?

“There’s something I have to tell you.” Luke said quickly, making the decision to tell her before he fully weighed out the impacts it could have. It would better she know now, right? Before she could get hurt further? “We figured out that we have unfinished business. That’s why we came back as ghosts.”

“Oh… What is it?” She asked, the pair turning to face each other properly.

“We have to play the show we never got to play.” Luke said with a chuff, Julie nodding along.

“At the Orpheum? That makes sense.” She said with a weak smile, that quickly disappeared as Luke was hit with a flash of light and thrown into one of the porch’s support beams.

“But we don’t have a lot of time…” Luke muttered through the pain, Julie’s eyes widening as she watched Luke crumple into himself.

“What was that? Are you ok?” She asked, panic setting in, and Luke sighed, shaking his head.

“We did something that we shouldn’t have… The night we missed the dance, at the club… The owner put this curse on us… And if we don’t do what he says, then those jolts will destroy us.” Luke tried to explain it as simply as he could, more for his own benefit that Julie’s: it hurt to talk.

“Well then you gotta do what he says. What does he want?” Julie asked, confused as to why the boys hadn’t just solved this with following this club owner’s requests.

“He wants us to be in his house band for eternity…”

“But that doesn’t make sense! Why would Y/N…” Julie stopped, frowning. “She’s a part of this, isn’t she? That’s why you fell out…”

“Exactly… But, if we can play the Orpheum soon, then we can avoid all that and actually cross over.” Luke said quickly, pulling himself back to his feet.

“Cross over? As in, like what? Like go to heaven?” Julie asked quickly, her voice cracking.

“That’s what we’re banking on…”

“So it’s either cross over, be in his band for eternity, or be destroyed by those jolts?” Julie clarified it, and Luke muttered a soft ‘yeah’. “That’s just great. This is all just great.” She muttered, opening her front door, and then promptly slamming it closed in Luke’s face, rushing up to her room in the hopes she could find some privacy.

“She’s gonna be upset for a while, but she’ll come to terms with it.” Luke whipped around, finding the last person he wanted to see at the bottom of the porch steps. “Hey, Denim…” Y/N said softly, a weak smile on her face as her hands ran over her arms, the cold that had slowly set in with the sunset causing her to shiver.

“Don’t talk to me.” Luke said plainly, his voice lacking any sort of emotion as he sauntered down the steps and down the pathway to the studio. “I’ve got nothing to say to you.”

“What, now I’m not allowed to speak in my own defence?” She asked, marching after him down the pathway that a week ago she had been excited and nervous to be on. Now, she just felt sick. “Luke, I’m sorry, alright?!” She called once they reached the edge of the driveway, Luke almost at the garage doors. He stopped in his tracks, turning around to look at her.

“Sorry?” He laughed, shoving his hands into his pockets. “You did this, all of it! Even when you knew what this band meant to all of us!” He answered back, his voice raised, causing movement from inside the garage. “Sorry doesn’t cut it.”

“I just want to-”

“To help?! You’ve done enough, Y/N…” He interrupted her as Alex and Reggie came through the studio doors, wanting to know what all the commotion was about. “At least Willie had the decency to own up to his mistakes. You?” He paused for a moment, almost like he wasn’t sure on his next words. “You’re just a bad person, Y/N.”

“Luke…” Alex muttered, talking in Y/N’s defence.

“What, Alex? Am I wrong? Like Willie said, she wanted the challenge…” Luke turned away again, heading for the safety of the studio to wallow in his self-pity: he was, after all, dying.

“You’re not the only person Caleb took things from, alright?!” Y/N finally spoke up, the words wavering as she spoke. In fact, her whole body seemed to tremble. “I want to help, in whatever way I can…” She was begging, but Luke was done listening, leaving her with Alex and Reggie outside.

“… We’ll talk to him, we can-” Reggie started, his heart aching at the sight of Y/N: she was so genuinely hurt by Luke’s words, they actually meant something to her.

“He’s… He’s made up his mind about me.” She shook her head. “I’ll… If…” She wiped her cheeks from the tears, and swallowed back another sob. “Just, I’m here to help if you need me.” She promised, and Alex sent a sad smile her way, Reggie a limp wave, and with that she disappeared into the night, leaving the pair to deal with their bandmate.

--

A rap at her door later that night brough Julie from whatever daze she had been in for the last hour or so, Flynn shuffling in with a pity-filled smile at the sight of her best friend. After years, Flynn was astute in dissecting Julie’s body language: she knew when her best friend was happy, or sad, or nervous.

Right now, Julie looked defeated, and it was something Flynn hadn’t seen since Julie’s mom died.

“I got your text…” Flynn said as she came to a stop near Julie’s bed. What she had actually received was a keyboard smash without a single discernible word, but it was enough to rush Flynn over.

“Don’t come too close. Anyone I seem to care about disappears.” Julie said with a sigh, putting the cap on the pen she had been colouring with.

“You can’t get rid of me. I’m like the crazy glue of best friends.” Flynn reminded, and Julie almost smiled.

“I just don’t get it. Right when my life starts to get good.” It made sense she was angry, it seemed like the universe was now taking back everything it had given. “Great friend, great band, a trending video on Youtube… Then bam!” She lifted up her sketch book to show Flynn a mushroom cloud, her name exploding into fragments at the base.

“I seriously don’t know why all of this is happening to you, but that’s gonna be a great album cover one day.” Flynn side tracked, getting another half-smile off of Julie, She sat herself on her best friend’s floor by the old trunk that had found it’s place at the base of Julie’s bed, and picked up the jump Julie had thrown to the ground earlier in her upset state, beginning to fold it and sort it back into the trunk.

“You don’t have to do that.” Julie quickly said as she took the lid off a new pen, a light orange this time, to add extra dimensions of fire to her explosion piece.

“I know, but I get to check out all your mom’s cool stuff.” Flynn said with a smile, beginning to look through the trunk before stopping on a white top. “Whoa…” She muttered, garnering Julie’s attention as she unfolded the tee. “Did you know this was in here?” She asked, showing the graphic to Julie: Sunset Curve.

“What the hell?” Julie scoffed, blinking a few times to make sure she was seeing right.

“How do you think she got it?”

“I… I don’t know, but the guys said they didn’t know my mom.” She paused for a second, looking up at Flynn. “Why would they lie?” She asked. It was out of character for them, even after what happened that day.

“… Maybe they didn’t.” Flynn suggested, getting to her feet so she could pace through her following words. “Maybe she knew them… She could be a fan!” She came to the conclusion quickly, a smile on her face.

“I mean… Sunset Curve was playing the Hollywood club scene around then?” Julie gave the idea some grounding, though it felt doubtful: what were the chances that in a city of so many, her mom would have heard Sunset Curve play?

“Oh my God… What if you were right?” Flynn asked, and with a raise of Julie’s eyebrow, she explained further. “What if the guys are connected to your mom? Through music or something.”

“Because she bought their t-shirt?”

“Think about it.” Flynn was holding her point firm, waiting for Julie to see her side of things. “They were the ones who made you wanna play music again! Maybe she knew they could help you.”

“So, you mean to tell me that my mom is somewhere out there planning all this?” Julie asked, and Flynn glanced to the side: hearing it like that, it sounded a little far-fetched. “If she wanted me to play music again, why wouldn’t she just tell me herself?”

“Maybe she can’t. Maybe she has to do it another way. You know, through signs.” Flynn suggested, and Julie eased up a little. “You been through these clothes how many times and haven’t found this t-shirt? Why now?” Flynn asked, only to answer her own question. “This is another sign!” She exclaimed, and Julie sighed. “I’m just saying! It’s not over, Julie.”

“Really? Signs?”

“You’re in a ghost band.” Flynn said simply. “It’s a crazy world… Look, you’re gonna lose them no matter what. And it sucks. But they helped bring you back to life. Now it’s your turn to help them.” In moments like this, Julie was convinced Flynn should be a motivational speaker. “They have to cross over… Let them go.”

The words were enough to force Julie off her bed to hug her friend tight, the pair walking downstairs: one headed home, the other headed to family.

“Snap out of it!” Julie yelled after entering the studio, startling the boys from their stupor, sending Alex from the couch to the floor in the process, his drumsticks clattering across the room.

“Jeez, I think you broke Alex.” Reggie muttered, cradling his bass in his arms.

“Do you guys want to cross over or not?” Julie asked, and while Luke hated to admit it, Y/N had been right: it seemed like Julie had come to terms with their predicament. “Get it together!” Julie demanded again, clapping after each word, and earning an eye roll from the guitarist.

“They’re never gonna let us play the Orpheum.” Luke said with a sigh, his words followed by Alex and Reggie reminding Julie of the fact.

“We’re nobody.”

“We’re less than nobody. We have no bodies.” Reggie gestured to himself as he spoke, receiving a snap of the fingers from Luke in agreement, and Julie took a power stance.

“Someone once told me that you don’t ask for permission.” Julie said, earning a light chuckle from Luke. “You book gigs by doing.”

“That was me.” Reggie said with quite a smug look.

“No, it wasn’t.” Julie and Luke replied in near unison, sending a frown to Reggie’s features as he hugged his bass closer.

“This isn’t over.” Julie continued her pitch. “We were brought together for a reason: to help each other.”

“Yeah, but like Luke said, people don’t just play the Orpheum because they want to.” Alex sighed, and Julie smirked in response, folding her arms.

“People don’t, but ghosts do.”

--

The waves rolled further and further up the shoreline, the tide coming in late that night under a thin sheet of drizzle, perhaps the first rainfall the city had encountered since March time. The cloud cover veiled the moon’s glow, leaving the beach in near complete darkness. Had someone not been well-versed in the beach’s layout, they would have never been able to venture onto the sands in fear of tripping over the rocks that stuck up from the ground.

Or, you know, if they were a ghost.

“Where’s the smile, my little sunset? Aren’t you happy to see me?” The first of two figures sat atop a boulder at the beach’s far end asked over the rolling waves, his legs hanging over the edge, a cane on his lap. When he didn’t receive a reply from his counterpart, a girl, with her knees up to her chin as she silently sobbed away the pain. “You know, I forget sometimes that you’ll always be a 17 year old…” He commented. “All full of emotion and unkempt rebellion. First you rebelled against your parents… And now me.

“I heard you today, trying out that cello…” She looked up at that, and he smirked. “Oh yeah, you thought you were alone, but you’ve clearly forgotten that I own you, Y/N. I know you’ve been visiting the lifer, been trying to help them…” He paused. “I know that Willie’s been up to no good.”

“Leave him out of this.” She muttered, and as the moon finally came out from behind a cloud, the light caused Caleb’s smile to shine pearly white in the darkness.

“There she is. Now, let’s have a conversation, a negotiation.” Caleb stood up, prompting Y/N to follow suit, the pair walking down the boulder and onto the sands below, beginning a stroll over the landscape.

“They don’t… Luke hates me, Caleb. He won’t let me help them. I’m not your insider.” She stated simply.

“You’re what I tell you to be, sunset. So, my proposal is simple.” He stopped, and Y/N turned to look back at him. “You are going to help me. They are going to be playing my club by tomorrow night. And in reward, I’ll offer you… Something you can’t refuse.” Caleb laughed, and Y/N found herself finally looking up at him.

“What do I get?” She asked, quickly sniffing, and wiping the last of her tears away.

“First, I end Willie’s contract.” Caleb offered, and Y/N’s eyes widened. “I know, a radical idea, but I know you. After 25 years of service, seems only fair you get something out of this.”

“You said first… What’s the second thing?” She asked, trying to not get caught up in the emotion. What could be more valuable than Willie’s soul?

“Now Y/N… You’re young, not stupid.” Caleb tutted, and took a step forward. “Why is it you can only remember your afterlife properly? Why you keep dreaming of things that didn’t happen? Why you’ve spent your entire afterlife afraid of music?” He asked, leaning down to whisper in her ear. “Do what I ask, Y/N, and I’ll give back what I stole from you…”

“I’ll give back your real memories.”

--

Part Seven is here...

--

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[bluefirewrites]

I’m sorry that you don’t feel good about your thesis presentation ☹️ I hope you feel better soon! My juke head canon is that one day Emily is clearing out some of Luke’s things and she finds the first guitar that they gave him. She asks Julie if she wants it because knowing that it’s going to someone who shares Luke’s passion for music makes her feel better. Then Luke teaches Julie how to play with it 🎶

Yes.

Yes.

YES.

Julie gets a message from Facebook from Emily Patterson asking her to come by this weekend.

She's a little nervous, thinking since if Emily knows her way around Facebook, it wouldn't take too long for her to snoop around on her profile and eventually find some post linking her to the band.

Luke comes with her of course, to ease her nerves and to see what his mom could possibly call her down for.

Emily greets her and ushers her inside. They make small talk, asking each other how they're doing and Julie notices this certain energy around Emily. She seems lighter, happier.

Luke's puzzled too, but it warms his heart to see his mom not grieving him anymore. He smiles as his mom keeps trying to offer Julie snacks- because that is so her.

"Look, Julie. I want to say thank you again. That song you brought over... it helped. It really did,"

"It's no problem"

"It made me come to terms with things. And... well, for years I didn't dare to..." she stops and for a moment Luke spots the familiar sad expression on her features, but she takes a deep breath before continuing.

"I didn't dare to go in his room for the longest time, to sort through his things. But I actually was able to go in and..." then Emily scurries down the hallway and comes back with a guitar.

Luke's eyes widen, "That's my guitar. My first guitar." He didn’t think he would see it again.

Emily goes over to Julie and hands it to her, "This was Luke's,"

She inspects the guitar, covered in band stickers and even with a pick tucked under the strings.

"I want you to have it"

"No, Emily. Are you sure-?

"You said you write music. You're a musician too? Like Luke,"

"Yes. I am"

"Then he would have wanted for you to have it"

Julie looks to Luke who could only nod, getting teary eyed at the interaction.

She didn’t have the heart to tell Emily she didn't know how to play. And she knew better than to refuse the generous gift, after everything it took for Emily to to get to the point where she’s healing. 

So Julie takes the guitar home and Luke wastes no time in teaching her how to play. 

He’s the best teacher, super invested in Julie’s progress that she’s inspired to practice everyday until her fingers were numb. And of course, it didn’t hurt to have the cute ghost getting all close and personal while learning from him. 

Now it was common to stumble upon Julie jamming out on the guitar rather than the keyboard. 

Luke even encourages her to go out busking for a day after months of practice, to see how she does. She was nervous at first to say the least, but she knew that Luke only pushes so she could do better. (And she ended up making enough money to buy some McDonalds for her and the family afterwards. Success!)

Luke notices that there’s something else fueling Julie’s desire to learn the guitar. It couldn’t be just because his mom gave her the guitar. Or him teaching her. 

He sits down and straights up asks her why while she was tuning the instrument. She stops and sets the guitar aside. 

“It was my mom’s instrument,” she nods to the six-string over in the corner, “That was hers. I wanted to learn before, but I missed my chance when she...” Luke lays a comforting hand on her knee, and she smiles, turning to him, “I have another chance now. And I want to make the most of it.” 

And with that, Luke throws more songs at her to learn, taking being her teacher more seriously, like he wouldn’t rest until she was just as good or even better than him. 

He even tries easing her off his old acoustic and to try playing her mom’s. It was tough at first, but now she’s rocking out on her mom’s guitar and Luke doesn’t mind that he rarely sees his old guitar anymore. That guitar was meant to be a starter anyway. 

Then one day, Julie comes up to him, with a nervous grip on his old beat up guitar. 

“Jules, what’s up?” 

“It’s Mother’s Day this weekend,” 

His eyes landed on his guitar, noting the switch, “Oh, I’m so sorry-” 

Julie shakes her head, “No. I’m fine. Really, it’s just...you might think this is a bad idea, but...” 

“You can tell me anything,” 

She sighs, “Can you teach me how to play ‘Unsaid Emily’?” 

Luke stalls. It’s silent for a moment. 

“H-How... how come?” 

“I just thought... since your mom hasn’t heard it. Not really, and I just... I just want to thank her. For giving me your guitar. Look, I know it might not be appropriate, but...” she looks at her mom’s acoustic on its stand, “she helped me.”

Luke says nothing, instead pulls Julie into a hug and they stay there in the middle of studio until he steps away, leading her to the couch and he teaches her ‘Unsaid Emily’. 

They rehearsed it for the next couple of days until it’s time for Mother’s Day. 

She and Luke visit Emily with Luke’s old guitar in tow. She sits down on the couch, with Luke beside her, grinning timidly. 

Julie goes to thank Emily, explaining that she had been practicing nonstop, that it was because of her gifting the guitar, Julie has been able to connect with her mom. 

Emily’s eyes soften once hearing that Julie’s mom has passed, “Oh dear, i didn’t know,” 

“It’s ok. This day... it’s hard for me too,” Then Julie props the guitar up on her knee, “I’ve been practicing something, I want to play it for you. If that’s okay?” she’s mostly looking at Luke as she asks. 

Emily smiles wistfully, “Go ahead, sweetie. i would love to hear you play.” 

Then Julie starts strumming the chords. She decides it’s better for her not to sing the lyrics, just letting the music speak for itself. Her eyes are laser focused on the strings, not wanting to pull her focus away for a minute. She’s determined to play this perfectly. She owes it to Emily, to Luke, to do the song justice. 

When she finished playing, she finally looks up. Emily had gotten closer to couch while she played, hand to her mouth while tears form in her eyes. 

Julie doesn’t have to tell her what the song was. Emily already knew. 

At first Julie thinks she overstepped, playing the song, but then Emily envelops her into a hug, and she could tell from the sounds, that the woman is crying tears of joy. 

She steps back and for a moment, her eyes flickered to behind Julie and it takes a second for Julie to realize that’s where Luke have been sitting, and he’s still there, crying too. 

Julie looks back to Emily, who blinks rapidly, shaking her head, “Oh sorry, dear. It’s just, for a second, I thought I saw...” 

“Saw who?” 

Luke sits up straighter, surprised. But the woman gives no indication to having seen him move. Whatever magic that made Luke visible to his mom for only a moment was gone. 

Julie glances at the guitar and then back at Emily, “It feels like he’s here. Doesn’t it?”

Emily nods slowly. And in that moment, Julie feels a strange sensation, a weight around her shoulders, snaking over and encasing her arms. Like a hug from behind. 

She knows it couldn’t have been Luke, for he is right beside her, holding her hand. 

In awe, Julie smiles, her free hand reaching for Emily’s, “It feels like my mom’s here too.” 

Mitch Patterson comes home hours later, bearing many gifts for his wife, knowing that this particular day would sting more so than the rest. But he arrives to find Emily and Julie huddling over the dining table, giggling over a box of old photos. 

“And this is Luke at the Johnny Appleseed show at school. He played a farmer,” 

Mitch is shocked to see his wife talking about Luke so openly, and so happily. This never happens on Mother’s Day. 

If only he could see the ghost of his son, standing on the opposite end of the table, arms crossed and appearing mortified at the events unfolding before him. 

“Mom” he groaned, knowing full well that she can’t hear him. 

Emily continues showing off the photo to Julie, “Wasn’t he cute?”

Julie smirks at him, “Sooo cute.” 

Luke shakes his head. He’ll let this slide. 

After all, this turned out to be a pretty good Mother’s Day.  

[lydias--stiles]

you got me fucked up in the head, boy

juke | human!au | medley of "sour" by olivia rodrigo

/////////////////////////

"I shouldn't call him," Julie decided.

Flynn looked up from her phone, doubtful that Julie's statement held any merit, and shrugged.

"If you want to call him-"

"You're supposed to congratulate me for my hashtag girl power."

"-then you should," she went on unperturbed. "You were with him for three years. You're allowed to ask how he's doing."

Her lips rolled in, frustrated. It wasn't that easy. If broken relationships were that easy to traverse, no one would write a billion songs about it - including her. Luke and her had history, fragmented moments of love and heartache mixed together to the point that she sometimes doubted herself. What did she craft herself - that stupidly imaginative brain of hers - and what was real?

Regardless, calling Luke was scary.

Everything started to spiral with one simple, Pitchfork article. Sunset Curve touring all festivals of the West Coast - the band to watch?

She knew the band had been doing well (without her), but she hadn't realised the big leagues were beckoning them on the stage. It was amazing, it really was, but it stung. Was she allowed to be jealous, to compare her career to theirs?

Her music was less marketable - a known fact after numerous articles calling it acquired taste - but now it felt like they were leaps ahead of her. It fucking stung.

Most of all, she just wanted to tell him she was proud. That at the end of the day, they were all artists and wished each other the best. That he deserved it. Because he did.

(Did he? When she was the one that launched the band into the public eye? God, she sounded bitter.)

"I shouldn't call him," she repeated.

Flynn sighed, rolling over on the bed to face her. "I think you should."

"Why?"

"'Cause you're clearly gutted about it," she muttered, an apologetic smile framing her lips. "Just call him, Julie. I'm sure he'll get it."

Julie laughed bitterly. "Yes. Because our relationship ended so amicable. Definitely not with paranoia and tears and-"

"Alright," she cut her off, tapping on her phone and then throwing the device in her hands. "It's ringing. Be ready."

The girl gasped at the sight of Luke's name and picture glimmering on Flynn's screen, heartbeat racing to an unhealthy speed while nausea rose.

She wasn't ready. She shouldn't call him. But knowing him-

"Flynn?"

-he always picked up.

She held her breath. It was foreign hearing his voice again. The same as three months ago, though somehow entirely different at the same time. Maybe because their was no mirth in his tone, no gleam in his eye. She heard it all - it was just confusion.

"Hey, Luke," she said.

It was quiet for a moment. Flynn stared at her with wide eyes, as if realising the weight of the situation. Julie wanted to chuck the phone out hre window.

"Julie?" It sounded accusatory. Fuck. "Why're you calling me from Flynn's phone?"

Oh, fuck. This was such a big mistake. Thoughts and shreds of sentences floated around her brain, none able to be plucked and spoken.

Her voice trembled. "I, uh, I wanted to ask how you are?"

"Why?"

It was cold. Somehow, she struck a nerve with a normal question like that. Her eyes shut, wondering if this was even happening at all and why he had so much power over her, still. They were broken up. They were on equal footing. It shouldn't feel like this.

"Because I saw the article," she pushed through. "That's why."

That seemed to mellow him down a bit. It felt like a tug of war, going back and forth with sickly twisted plays of power. One phone call, an entire coup d'état.

"Oh." A pressured pause. "Yeah, I'm good. It's crazy. Thanks." And then- "How are you?"

A smile mustered itself on her lips. Him just asking that… it felt nice. She wished her heart wasn't so malleable.

"I'm doing good as well," she said, unsure how truthful that was. "Thanks."

And then he made the big swing. "I'm seeing someone new."

It happened automatically, the way the phone retracted from her ear to put in on speaker. She wouldn't have the strength to recount whatever he'd say next to Flynn.

She kept the phone close though. "You are?"

Her tone had gone up an octave, sugary sweet, too fake that he couldn't have missed it.

He didn't comment on it. "Yeah. Just thought you should know."

Flynn scowled, sticking her finger in her throat

Asshole. "Good for you," Julie smiled. "Are you happy?"

The question was dubious. Are you happy you broke my heart into a million pieces? Are you happy with your new girl? (Does she know how much I've shaped you? That I taught you all those sappy songs on the guitar?)

Or maybe Julie was too emotional. Too much of everything. Too gready to be whatever he wanted her to be.

God, how did it end so wrong? It started so beautifully. They worked so well together. How could they have gone from origami stars - attached and idealistic and lovesick - to a simple rip in the delicate paper, for her to be discarded?

Did she even want to know if he was happy?

"I am," he whispered. He was smart enough to sound remorseful. "She's great."

Julie sighed and nodded. "And-" And did you tell her she was the one too? That your love is eternal? "And…"

"I kinda have to go, Julie," he cut off. Always the last fucking word. "Nice to talk to you again, yeah?"

"Yeah," she exhaled. Taking him off speaker, she held it close to her ear again and listened to his breath for a beat. "Congratulations, again."

"Thanks." A smile in his voice. "Take care."

"You too."

"Bye."

She hung up. He should know what that felt like for once.

And then the jealousy snuck in. Fuck. A new girl. A new girl giving him butterflies - prettier, softer, happier, more collected, less fucked in the head. She probably had both her parents. She probably had a perfect body. She was probably secretly everything Julie wanted to be.

(Comparison would kill her one day.)

Cautiously, Flynn took her phone and pocketed it. "I'm sorry."

"You're right. I should've called him." She sat down. "Now I remember why we're not together anymore."

A familiar hand caressed her arm. "Are you okay?"

Her head shook. "No… I guess that's… part of it. I feel regret and shame and… I feel like he ruined me." Her body tensed up, angered. "How can he move on so quickly?"

Flynn's lips pursed, though the words were clear as day in her eyes. That maybe, their relationship had been bad for longer than Julie thought. She couldn't assume, but if Luke openly told her about his new girl… then maybe…

"You'll be okay again, Jules," her friend soothed. "Some day."

She huffed. "Is it bad that I still care?"

"No. I bet he still cares too."

Julie burrowed her head in a pillow, agitated by her own overwhelming thoughts and emotions, wishing she knew the full story, that she didn't feel like a fool, that she didn't have so many regrets, that he thought it through before he swept her up in the romance of a lifetime.

Julie was barely twenty. It shouldn't be like this.

She wished he thought it through before she fell in love with him.

/////////////////////////////////////

@blush-and-books @bluefirewrites @willexx @unsaid-emily @pink-flame @constantly-singing @ourstarscollided

[sunset-curve-fantom]

Unsaid Emily- Luke x Reader

Luke Patterson was one of the most genuine, funny, musical people you had ever met, except he was a ghost. His buddies and him were killed by tainted hotdogs in the ‘90s and now, now they were making their comeback in 2020 with the help of Julie and yourself.

When Luke left this world, he left his parents behind with an uncertainty of how their child lived in his final moments. They had been fighting at the time, so there had not been much communication between them for some time. They hated the direction their 17-year-old was heading, and instead of being understanding, they made Luke was feel trapped, like they were trying to change his greatest love in life, his band and more importantly his music.

You had been blissfully unaware of how much Luke was truly hurting until his birthday, which happened to be today because there he was sitting on his parent’s counter, hot tears running down his face. Your heart broke seeing him so upset, you never realized how much Luke was really hiding behind his façade. He was trying to make up for the life he never got to live, they never saw him play or get married, to grow old. He lived a life that was cut abruptly short, and he would never forgive himself for walking out that night.

The more Reggie and Alex talked about the past, the more you realized that Luke spent a lot of time at their house. Like he was trying to make new memories with his parents who could never see him in the way you do. In their eyes, he was gone but in yours he could never be more alive.

So here you were, waiting for Luke to return to garage. You asked Julie and the boys to let you talk to him alone, the bond you had was something special and you felt he would open up to you more. Focusing on the book in front of you, it felt like you had been waiting forever. You knew he it was his birthday so he would be gone for most of it, so you just had to play the waiting game.

No sooner did you finish the last page of your chapter, did Luke poof into the chair next to you. You could see that his eyes were puffy, and his face was red from all the crying. You knew he was hurting but you did not know how to even approach him. He seemed shocked to see you sitting there by yourself, usually you were off with Julie or the boys.

He shifted in his seat trying to hide his sniffles, “Hey Y/n, I wasn’t expecting you to be here”

“Well… I thought we could talk. I just noticed you’ve been kind of distant and I wanted to make sure you were okay” you said honestly, you truly just wanted to make sure he was okay, or more so check to make sure he would be okay eventually.

He just sighed at me, trying to avoid my statement, it was clear he didn’t want me to be involved with his pain. He would rather keep it to himself than burden someone else with his problems from beyond the grave.

“Luke, please. I just want to help…” you said again, trying to get him to open up. He couldn’t get this all pinned up inside of him, eventually he was going to explode, and it was going to be fatal for everyone involved.

He was avoiding your eyes, afraid of opening the flood gates and not being able to close them again, he had been crying for days and he didn’t want to cry in front of you.

“I really just don’t want to talk about it, please just drop it”

“Luke… I know… I know it is your birthday, I know where you have been all day… so please don’t lie to me” you said, sitting on the coffee table in front of his chair, you could see his eyes rolling.

“Seriously. You and Julie preach about boundaries and you stalked me. Really y/n?” He said, the anger clear in his voice, so you did the one thing you could think of. You reached out to him, and surprisingly your hand rested on his knee instead of going through him.

The look of shock mirroring on his face as he placed his large hand onto yours. It was a sense of comfort, something he hadn’t experienced in a long time.

“Luke… I know I didn’t… I mean I know I shouldn’t have spied on you. But I am worried about you, I know it’s your birthday and you spent most of your day at yours parents. I can’t even begin to imagine how you are feeling, but I am here for you, every step of the way. I know it doesn’t mean much but- “Luke cut you off.

“It actually means more than you could ever know. I never talked to the boys about my parents, so it is nice to have someone who knows. My parents… when I left this world I left on bad terms. I was doing something that they didn’t want me to do. They wanted me to finish school, get married, basically have a life worth living. But I was so focused on my music and the band, that I walked out. I walked out and that is the last memory they have of me. I walked out that door and I never came home…” He was choking back his tears; you only gripped his hand tighter. You just wanted to take away this pain, so you just stood up wrapping your arms around him.

You could feel his tears on your shirt, you pulled back wiping more of them away with your thumbs. He caught your gaze, “Please… don’t tell the boys. I don’t need any more pity”

You felt a frown appear on your face, “Luke, I don’t pity you. I know how hard it is to lose someone, and I just want to be here for you. Did you ever show your parents your music, or write anything for them?”

He pulled away from you, so you just sat back down on the coffee table. “Whatever I wrote for them, it would never matter. My music was nothing to them, it was always the one thing that drove me away. They regretted buying me that guitar the moment I started playing. They lost me, and they will never forgive themselves no matter what.”

You couldn’t help but feel tears pool in your eyes as well, you wanted nothing more than to take back the past, to give your life for his, for a moment to make up with his parents.

“I wrote one song; it was for my mom. It was right after I ran away, and it was everything I didn’t know how to say to her. But now, she will never hear everything I wanted to say, she was so important, and I just left her there”

You processed his words, you knew exactly what song it was and tomorrow you were going to give that piece of art to his mom, and hopefully it would heal some of the open wounds in her heart. You hand already made up your mind about that.

*Next day*

You woke up early, before heading across town. You knew if you waited later in the day, that you would change your mind about this. You knew Luke would be mad, but you felt he needed this to heal, and so did his mom.

You quietly pulled into the Patterson’s driveway, trying to keep your nerves under wraps. You shut the car door and made your way up the drive. You were almost to the front door when Luke poofed in front of you. The look he gave you was not exactly good…

“What- why are you here??” he questioned; you could barely look into his eyes. You knew he would be angry when he found out your reasoning.

“I wanted to help- so I brought Unsaid Emily with me for your mom. I think she deserves to hear everything you couldn’t say to her. You can be mad at me, but I need to do this for you and for her” You said with confidence before rigging the doorbell, Luke just scowled at you. He was going to give you an earful later.

Moments later the door opened, and there stood a man. He was older from some of the pictures you had seen, but he was Luke’s dad, and you knew that.

“Hi, may I help you?” He spoke softly

“Yes, Hi. My name is Y/n, Y/n Y/l/n. My friend lives in the house where Sunset Curve used to practice, and I found something that you might want.” You said, feeling the hot tears pool in your eyes as you saw him suck in a deep breath.

He stepped aside letting you in, Luke followed in behind you.

You picked up a photo on the table, “Is this your son? Luke, right?”

He nodded before talking, “He was about 2-years-old in that photo. He was definitely a light in our life” A small smile fell onto your lips; he was the light of your life now. Even in death, he was the most perfect, and incredible person you had ever met.

Before you could speak again, you saw Luke’s mom come into the room, “Hi honey, did I hear the bell ring” she just offered you a small smile.

“Yes, this is Y/n and her friend lives in the house where the band used to rehearse. She brought something for us” He said to his wife, who looked at you with wide eyes.

“I assume you must be Emily?” You asked, sending Luke a look across the room. You could tell he was holding in a breath.

She nodded, before you continued, “I was cleaning out the garage and I found this song. It is called “Unsaid Emily”, I could happily sing it for you… if that’s okay?”

“Uh- could you maybe wait a moment, I have something you’ll need” Luke’s dad said, before retreating out of the room. He quickly returned with a guitar in hand.

“it was a birthday present for Luke, we never got to give it to him. It would be wonderful if you could play it for us… if you can play?” His dad said, handing you the fresh guitar. You caught Luke’s gaze across the room, he was in shock. He always thought they hated his music.

Taking a deep breath, you sat down in front of them with Luke’s lyrics in front of you. It took you a few minutes to tune the guitar before you began singing,

First things first

We start the scene in reverse

All of the lines rehearsed

Disappeared from my mind

When things got loud

One of us running out

I should have turned around

But I had too much pride

It was like as soon as the song started, it had come to an end. You could swear you could hear Luke still singing the song, like he wouldn’t be able to stop.

“You have no idea what you have given us…” Luke’s mom said, playing her hand on yours. You just grabbed it tightly.

“I can say, I write my music in the same place he did. It is a beautiful place full of happiness. I just thought you would want to know that. He lived doing the one thing he loved the most, and that inspires me everyday” You said, pushing the guitar back in their direction.

His dad just shook his head, “Keep it, I think Luke would want you to have it. And please, come back. It is great to hear his music inspired someone, especially someone so gifted”

You were shocked, this was an incredible gift, especially from Luke’s parents of all people.

“I could not thank you enough, I promise I will be back soon… I will try to find more things of Luke’s” you said, gently hugging his parents before heading out the door. You gripped the guitar close to your heart, it was an incredible gift.

You got in your car, and there was Luke. You could see the tear stains on his cheek, you intertwined your hand with his.

“I cannot thank you enough for what you just did… You gave them back a hope, a happiness in their life…” He said, choking back more tears.

“Luke, I did this for you… Don’t thank me. I just needed to do something… I wanted to bring you closure as well. You don’t know how much I care about you Luke.” You said, rubbing your thumb on the back of his hand.

His head whipped in your direction, “Of course I do, your dork. I know how much you care because I feel the same way about you. This is definitely something interesting we have. And I may be dead, but I am not dumb.”

You just laughed at his remark, Luke was always going to be the one who held your heart. He was the one who made your world spin in ways no one has. Luke was your one in a million, and he was going to be that until the end of time.

[ssa-babygirl]

Out of my League [Part 5]

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Single mom!Reader

Word count: 4.1k

Summary: A night out with the team leaves you and Spencer with so much unsaid, despite how much he spills to you while you’re drunk and half asleep. 

Warning(s): Mentions of past addiction, alcohol consumption, some swear words, mentions of past bullying, EXTREME PINING

Author’s Note: I told yall this chapter wouldn’t take 10 years. just like... a week and a half. I promise I’ll do better lmao also enjoy the fluff cuz uh,, yall are gonna hate me next chapter oops

[Previous Part] [Series Masterlist]

Washington D.C., 2009

(Reader POV)

Rossi’s dinner party would not be the last time Spencer had to drive your drunk ass home. It happened two or three in the two years since that night. Dave meant it when he said you were one of them. Whenever they went out for drinks after a case, you would get a text from one of the girls asking if you wanted to come. Your mom living a few blocks away from you was helpful because you just needed to drop Jamie off and head over to O’Keefe’s. You very rarely went overboard because you normally had to drive home, but tonight was not one of those nights.

The team had just gotten back from a local case in Bethesda, so Emily offered to pick you up on her way back. Hotch gave them all the rest of the night off after they made the arrest, but Spencer, always the workaholic, still wanted to finish up his paperwork before going out. 

Your mom came to get Jamie and take him back to her house, so you were free to get all dressed up for a night on the town with your friends. You didn’t want to look too formal since most of them were still going to be in their work clothes, so you got out a cute green button-down blouse and tucked it into some high-waisted jeans. You put on your favorite locket and let your hair down. You went with a light makeup look, just brows, cheeks, and lashes. You were all set by the time Emily pulled up in front of your place. You strapped up your wedges and grabbed your purse, heading out the door, excited to see everyone after they’d been so busy.

“Hey! You look nice!”

“And you’re not so bad for fresh off a crime scene.”

“Should’ve seen me catch the guy, I looked amazing.”

“I’m sure you did, Em.”

Emily told you about the case, or rather just the ending. You only liked to hear her stories when they had happy endings. This one was pleasant enough, but you had a feeling that she was leaving some details out since it was apparently so bad that even Spencer would be tagging along for drinks.

When you got to the bar, Derek and Penelope were already sitting at a booth in the back with Aaron and Dave. Penelope hopped up from her seat to give you a hug as soon as you approached the table. 

“Hey, there she is,” Morgan smiled over his beer.

“Reid’s not driving tonight?” Aaron asked.

“He texted me, he’s on his way, he wanted to finish his paperwork back at the precinct.” 

“So what I’m hearing is you finally have time to tell us stories about Reid in high school,” Dave said with a smirk.

“No, come on, he’ll kill me,” you settled into the booth.

Emily snorted, “I’d be surprised if he even found it in him to be mad at you.”

“Oh, it’s happened before.” Your face scrunched up at the memory of what happened that day on the football field.

“Really?” Penelope seemed shocked.

“Yeah I’d… Rather not talk about it.” You didn’t know if Spencer had told the team about the Alexa Lisbon incident, so you didn’t want to talk about how he had been so angry with you for babying him. 

“Oh, come on, the kid was in love with you,” Derek prodded, “What’d you do?”

You elected to ignore his comment, “No, it was just stupid.” You could still talk about Kyle, though. The team knew the story of how you’d met Spencer, they just didn’t know about how upset he was when he found out you got back together with Kyle just a few months after you dumped him.

“We love hearing about the stupid things you did!” Garcia squealed.

You stared at the table and fiddled with a napkin to avoid eye contact as you said, “I dated one of his bullies.”

Dave was the first to break the silence, “But Reid said you broke up with him when you found out.”

You bit your lip and hesitated before owning up to it, “Did he tell you that Kyle is Jamie’s dad?”

Emily gasped, “No way!”

“We barely spoke outside of tutoring after that between him being scared of Kyle and basketball season. We were both busy with our teams.”

“Reid played basketball?” Aaron asked, amused.

“He was the coach.” You managed to crack a slight smile, “Budget cuts. But, hey, it was for the best, that was our best season in years.”

“Hard to believe he could focus on strategy with you cheering from the sidelines.” Derek wiggled his eyebrows and took another sip of his beer.

You were quick to change the subject, “So is JJ coming?”

Emily shook her head, “She went home after the case cuz she missed Henry.”

“Oh that boy is the sweetest little thing, I miss when Jamie was that little.”

Aaron sipped his whiskey, “How old is he again?”

“Ten. I’m old, don’t remind me, it’s fucking me up.”

“Ah! Language, bella.”

“Sorry Dave. But speaking of getting effed up, I’ll go get the next round.” You stood and took everyone’s drink orders: Dave and Aaron were sharing an expensive bottle that Dave had already paid for, Emily wanted a martini, Derek just asked for another beer, while Penelope ordered the most elaborate cocktail on the menu, but luckily it was her usual, so you had it pretty much memorized by now. 

You strolled up to the bar and gave the bartender the order, which he got right on. He started with giving you Derek’s beer, then Em’s martini, then your rum and coke, before getting to work on Penelope’s ridiculously fruity drink. An older man stalked into your field of view with a beer in his hand, grinning dumbly. 

“What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?”

You snorted, “Has that line ever worked?”

“Truth be told, I’ve never used it.”

“Well you don’t have a great success rate right now, bud.” You looked over the man’s shoulder and made eye contact with Penelope, who turned to Derek and gave him a heads up.

“Well let me buy you a drink, maybe it’ll work better the second time around.”

“Oh, no, thank y—”

“No, come on, what’s one drink?”

You grabbed the tray with everyone’s drinks and started to pass him, “I should really get back to my friends.”

“Hey, I won’t keep you long,” He caught you by the arm and the last thing you saw before he turned you to face him again was Penelope leaping up from her seat to let Derek through, “what are you drinking?”

“Babygirl, how long does a beer take?” Derek stepped up behind you and placed a delicate hand on the small of your back, “This guy bothering you, doll?”

The man dropped his hand from your arm, “We were just talking.”

“Really? ‘Cuz to me it seems like you were trying to put the moves on my girl.”

“Babe, it’s fine,” you caught on quickly, placing a hand on Derek’s chest to keep up the ruse of holding him back, “I’m just waiting for Pen’s drink.”

“Get the hell out of here, man.” Derek glares and the other man leaves reluctantly. “You okay?”

You nodded, “Thank you.”

“Hey, no problem, sweetheart.” He withdrew his hand from the small of your back, “Wouldn’t want Pretty Boy to get jealous.”

You felt your face heat up as your eyebrows knit together, feigning confusion.

“Oh, come on, Y/N, you can’t seriously tell me you don’t see it.”

You played dumb, “See what?”

He sips his beer, “You don’t need to be a profiler to see the way he looks at you, Y/N.”

“Oh, god, first my mother, now you too?”

“I’m serious, I’ve only seen him like this one other time.”

“When?”

“On a case a few years ago. There was this actress we were helping out, Lila Archer.”

“Lila Archer? The Lila Archer?”

“Yeah, she had a little crush on Reid for a bit. They made out once.”

“They what?”

He laughed, “What’re ya jealous?”

“No!” Maybe? “It just seems so unprofessional, I wouldn’t have pegged him for a guy who would--”

“Hook up with a movie star? Yeah, I didn’t think so either. It didn’t work out with them, obviously, he said she only felt that way about him because he saved her life.”

“What does this have to do with me?”

“Ever thought about how you protecting him his whole life may have had a similar effect?”

“Showing him basic human decency didn’t make him fall in love with me, Derek.”

“No, but saving his life did.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think that’s more of a question for Pretty Boy himself.” Derek nodded his chin over your shoulder. You followed his gaze and saw Spencer coming up behind you, grinning as he neared the bar.

“Hey.”

“Hey, haircut! Lookin’ good!” Your fingers laced through his shaggy locks and messed up his new boy band-esque style.

 A faint blush spread across his cheeks as he fixed his hair, “T-Thanks.”

“When you lovebirds feel like talking to the rest of us, I’ll be at the table with the rest of the team.”

You roll your eyes and turn back to the lanky boy next to you, “Lemme buy you a drink, Spence.” 

“Oh, no thank you. I’m driving. And also did you know--”

“You can just say you don’t want it.”

“No, I do. That’s the problem.”

Your face contorted with confusion until it suddenly clicked, “Oh… Has that ever been a problem for you before?”

“Not anymore, and not alcohol, but yeah.”

“Wait, Spence, why didn’t you tell me? I-I’m not mad, it’s your choice, obviously, but I could have helped.”

“You did.”

“I did?”

“Remember that one time I was too sick to talk on our Saturday call?”

“Yeah?”

“I had just gotten back from a case in New Orleans. Remember Ethan from school?”

You nodded, holding onto every word.

“He’s in a jazz band down there now. He talked me into getting help. When you called, I was at the lowest point of withdrawals, shaking so hard I couldn’t sleep, and completely alone. I almost didn’t pick up, but I knew you wouldn’t accept that,” he laughed nervously, “and when I heard your voice…”

He trailed off, finally meeting your eyes.

“When I said I wasn’t feeling well, you said ‘I’m putting Jamie down for the night, wanna hear his bedtime story?’”

You both found yourselves smiling slightly at the memory. 

“Not once, during any book I’ve read, had I fallen asleep so easily as I did when you read me The Very Hungry Caterpillar.”

He took a deep breath, almost shuddering, “It was the first time I slept without nightmares since Tobias Hankle.”

You remembered that name. He’d come up in conversations from time to time but you never heard anything about his case. He was always a touchy subject for the team, and now you knew why.

“How long ago was this?”

“Almost three years ago.” He didn’t even have to think about it.

“Spence, you could have told me. You can tell me anything.”

“Anything?” He gulped.

You reached for his hand on the bar and felt it tense under your touch. You’d think after how long you’d known him his touch aversion wouldn’t be an issue with you anymore, but apparently not. Feeling your cheeks heat up, you withdrew your hand as if you burnt your hand on a hot stove and let out an awkward scoff, turning away to look back at your friends, who tried and failed miserably at making it look like they weren’t watching you and Spencer. 

“We should…”

“Yeah… w-we should.” Spencer passed you and sat down next to Derek in the booth, leaving you in your usual spot next to Emily with your first of many drinks that night.

            3 Hours Later

(Spencer’s POV)

I helped her into my car and buckled her up after she couldn’t find the seatbelt. When I got into the driver’s seat, I glanced at her to see if she was still conscious, only to see her dopey smile directed at me.

“What?” I laughed nervously.

“Nothing,” she slurred, dragging out the ‘ing’ and turning her head towards the window.

“You okay?”

She nodded and leaned her head against the glass as I pulled out of the parking lot. She was quiet for the most part during the drive, so I assumed she was asleep, so imagine my shock when she piped up as soon as I parked in front of her place.

“Can you walk me in?” she asked as if I could say no to her.

“Of course.” I was going to regardless. I helped her out of the car and she stood on wobbly legs. She groaned and looked at her feet. 

“Hold this.” She shoved her purse into my arms and placed a hand on my shoulder and hopped up to take off one of her heels, tossing it onto her seat before repeating her actions on her other shoe. She grabbed the pair and marched up the path to her front door. I trailed close behind, just in case she stumbled, which she did. 

She fumbled for her key when she suddenly remembered that I had her purse. I dug through the pockets and fished it out, tossing it to her once I got close enough. She instantly giggled as soon as I met her eyes.

“What’s so funny now?”

“Nothing, Spence,” she failed to stifle a smile as she tried to open the door, “You have nothing to worry about.”

I stepped in beside her, “Well you’ve been awfully quiet since we left and now you’re laughing at me!”

“I’m just thinking!”

“That can’t be good,” I joked, prompting her to lightly slap my arm, “Kidding! What are you thinking about?”

“Don’t worry about it!”

“No, now I’m curious!”

“Just something stupid Derek said before you came tonight.”

“Oh jeez, now I have to know.” She climbed up the staircase and down the hallway in front of her bedroom. She twisted the knob and pushed open the door. I stepped in after her and placed her purse down on the dresser. She flopped down on the bed, shuffling under the covers, not even bothering to change out of the clothes she wore to the bar. I grinned down at her. She looked like an angel snuggled up in the sheets.

“Comfy?”

“Very.”

“Good. Call me if you need anything, Y/N,” I started to walk towards the door.

“Did you have a crush on me in high school?”

I paused.

“W-Where’d you get that from?” Nice job, genius, that doesn’t sound guilty at all.

“That’s what Derek said.” She was now sitting up in bed.

Okay, but how did he know that?

“How did this come up exactly?”

She explained how the team was trying to get her to tell them embarrassing stories about me as a kid (sidenote: not cool, guys) and my dear old friend Kyle came up. She said that Morgan brought up transference, where a person experiences something traumatic and associates their “hero” with safety and feelings of relief after being helped.

“He said one girl you helped in a case had feelings for you and the way you explained transference to Derek sounded like you were speaking from experience.”

Great. This is what I get for only having friends on the team. My best guy friend is also a profiler who can read me like a book. Awesome.

I let out a deep sigh and sat down in the chair next to her bed, “I was.”

“Speaking from experience?”

“Yeah. Because that’s where it all started for me. A pretty girl told off one of my bullies and showed me basic human decency--”

“Aw, Spence, you thought I was pretty?” She teased, eliciting a chuckle from me.

“Of course I did. Y/N, you were the head cheerleader that came to me for help with chemistry and tousled my hair and bought me McDonald’s whenever our study sessions ran late. To twelve-year-old Spencer you were this perfect, unattainable princess--”

“Princess?” She giggled and it was the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard, “I like that.”

“Yep.” I laughed with her, “A princess who lived in a beautiful castle with posters on the walls and sparkly beads on the curtains and Doctor Who playing on the TV and a mom that always invited me to stay for dinner and I’m rambling again but that’s perfectly fine with you because you actually cared about what I had to say, especially when I would talk about Shakespeare because A Midsummer Night’s Dream was your favorite assigned reading and--” I stopped myself before it slipped out. 

I love you. I’ve said it a million times to her in a million different ways but I knew at that moment that if I said the actual words that I wouldn’t be able to take them back, not that I would ever want to, I just want her to be present when I told her the first time. If I said it now it would be the first time she’d hear it from me and she wouldn’t even remember it when she woke up.

“And what?” She still smiled at me so brightly that the dimly lit room was lit up by the gleam in her eyes.

I smiled back, “You’re my best friend.”

Her grin somehow grew wider, her eyes scrunching up, but the sparkle was still there, “You’re my best friend too.”

If I hadn’t already decided against it, I would have said it then. I would have repeated those words over and over again until the words lost all meaning, only they never would because they felt like they meant the world to me. But I wouldn’t let myself start. Instead, I just looked at her like she was the moon and stars and all the space in between and said, “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Spence, wait,” she murmured, further burying herself in her covers.

“What now?” I whined, the smile still present on my face.

“I think you’re pretty too.” 

It had never been harder for me to resist the urge to kiss her than in that moment. Every fiber of my being screamed to sit back down, lean over her pillow, take her face in my hands, and crash my lips to hers. And for a split second, I thought I would. I almost did. I almost gave myself everything I had ever wanted for sixteen years, four months, and eleven days, but I couldn’t.

“And I think you’re drunk.”

“Spencer Reid!” She squealed, “Just cuz I’m drunk does not mean that you aren’t pretty!”

“Oh really?”

“Yep! ‘Cuz guess what, genius?”

“What?”

“I think you’re pretty when I’m sober, too.”

If I didn’t know any better I’d say she was trying to drive me insane. And you know what?

It was working.

While I was lost in my thoughts, no doubt staring at her, she let out a tiny yawn and snuggled deeper into her pillow. A piece of hair fell in front of her eyes, hooded yet still shining. I brushed the hair out of her face and told her to get some rest.

“Good idea. I’m sleepy,” she dragged out the e and yawned again, “Goodnight, Pretty Boy.”

“Goodnight, princess.” I chuckled softly. My fingers still lingered just behind her ear, so I stroked her hair once more and pressed a small kiss to her forehead once I was sure she was asleep. Her cheeks twitched in a barely conscious smile, making me grateful for my eidetic memory again. I went to the kitchen and took a glass from the cabinet, filling it up in the sink and placing it on the nightstand with some aspirin.

I took a sheet of some stationery and scrawled out a note for her in the morning:

Make sure you stay hydrated. There’s more aspirin in your cabinet but wait a few hours to take it. Call me if you need anything. -S.R.

            The Next Morning

(Reader’s POV)

The coffee machine made too much noise. Your head was pounding despite the fact you took an aspirin a few minutes ago. Now you played the waiting game, hoping it would kick in soon. When the pot was finally done, you poured yourself a cup, hoping it would help wake you up. You normally wouldn’t drink coffee this late, but you needed it. Just as you took your first sip, your mom came through the front door with Jamie in tow carrying his pajamas in a shopping bag. He said good morning to you and ran upstairs to his room.

“Did you just wake up?” 

“Yes.”

“Y/N, it’s almost noon.” You could hear the judgment in her voice.

You took a sip of coffee, “It’s 11:05.”

“I take it you had fun at O’Keefe’s last night?”

“Yeah,” you grumbled, rubbing your eyes.

“How’d you get home?”

“Spence drove me.”

Her eyes widened, excited. She lowered her voice to ask, “Is he still here?”

“Mom!” You whisper-yelled.

“I was just checking!”

“No, he’s not, he dropped me off and went home.” You decided to leave out the whole “putting you to bed” part.

“How’s your hangover?”

“Better with aspirin.”

“Have you been drinking water?”

“A little,” you lied.

“No more coffee until you finish a glass.” She took your mug and dumped its contents down the drain.

“Wh—” You start, “Mom, I’m not a kid.”

“Just drink your damn water.”

“Jesus,” you groan, still making your way to the stairs and heading up to your room, where your water had been put on your nightstand the night before. Under the glass was a note that you didn’t notice when you first woke up. You recognized the chicken scratch handwriting immediately: Spencer.

“Make sure you stay hydrated. There’s more aspirin in your cabinet but wait a few hours to take it. Call me if you need anything. -S.R.”

You smiled as you read the words over and over. You put the note down and took a sip from the glass. You reached over to your phone on the nightstand and dialed his number. It rang twice before Spencer’s voice crackled over the speaker, “Hey, how’re you feeling?”

“Better, thank you.”

“Of course. Did you drink the water I gave you last night?”

“Some of it.”

“Good, did you eat?”

“No.”

“I’m going on my lunch break in a bit, wanna meet up?”

Your heart fluttered at the offer, a small grin tugging at your lips. You nodded, unable to find words enthusiastic enough to express how much you’d like that, before settling on “Yeah! Sounds good!”

“Perfect! There’s a new thai place downtown I’ve been meaning to check out, how about there?”

“Sure! I’ll meet you at Quantico?”

“See you then!”

“Bye,” you all but sighed into the receiver before snapping out of it. You always tried to keep that part of you beneath the surface, but it wasn’t as easy as it used to be. You didn’t remember much from last night, but you did remember calling him pretty boy and making him blush. You remember him tucking you in and calling you princess and brushing your hair out of your eyes. You remembered how your chest swelled with light as he pressed his lips to your forehead, and the soft chuckle he let out seeing you smile against your pillow. 

You hopped in the shower and got dressed, fixing yourself just enough to pass for a functioning adult who did not get sloppy drunk in front of her best friend’s coworkers last night. You told your mom you were going out for lunch, and she happily agreed to babysit for a few hours while you were with Spencer. 

“Have fun on your date!”

“Not a date!” You almost couldn’t tell who you were talking to, her or you.

You got to Quantico about a half-hour later and were met by Dave in the bullpen.

“Oh, look who’s joined the land of the living!”

“Oh, come on, I wasn’t that bad last night. I could have been Penelope.”

“That is true, bella, but it was still a Thursday,” Dave chuckled, “The kid’s in Aaron’s office, he’ll be out in a sec.”

“Thank you,” you said and walked over to Spencer’s desk, sitting down in his chair and making small talk with Emily while you waited. A few minutes later, you saw him walk out of the office, eyes immediately landing on you.

Taglist~~~

Lmk if you wanna be added! Some names didn’t work so if you don’t see your name as a tag just dm me a url and I’ll try to fix it

@lawnmoa @ellvswriting @baby-pogue @purelyprentiss @confused-and-really-hungry @thatsonezesty13 @deni-gonzalez​ @irjuejjsaa @randomfandomshitposts @bisoner @moonstarrnghtsky @smurfflynn @eldahae @t0xicllama @undeniablyyou @staplernpaper @theweirdobella @sammypotato67 @k-k0129 @helloniallslovelies @dazzlingnights @uhuhuh @booksarekindaneat @crimeshowtrash @carlgrxmes​ @collectiveuniverses​ @annesauriol​

[hey-there-juliet]

Random Drabble Day (2/23)

Summary: First off, let me just say that this is more like a one-shot than a drabble because I'm a wordy bitch and I cannot control myself 😅

That said, I always had a hard time imagining Julie writing some of the Perfect Harmony's lyrics about herself, so I thought why not make this just another song that Luke and Julie wrote together? This is set somewhere between Finally Free and Edge of Great, in that week when Ray was stress-eating. This is supposed to fit back into the show at the end, so it might seem like a cliffhanger, but it's not.

Quick shout out to @jamestkirkish for betaing this for me! I love you and you are amazing! Any remaining mistakes are my own. And to the fabulous Sloan, for helping me out with Luke's handwriting! Enjoy 🧡

Fandom: Julie and the Phantoms

Relationship: Juke 💜

in the great scheme of life and ghosts

No matter how many times Luke insisted that she had been snooping through his things, Julie knew for a fact that she had done no such thing. In reality, she had simply been cleaning the studio when she came across it.

For three ghosts who didn't eat and could barely even touch anything most of the time, the boys sure knew how to make a mess. Every morning Julie would walk into the studio to find the chairs or coffee table rearranged, at least one of the rugs was always askew, and the clothes... the clothes were everywhere, and the worst part was: they reeked. 

And so every morning before leaving for school Julie would shoot them a stern look and tell them to pick up after themselves. Which they did - when she got back home, things were mostly in their rightful place. Still, every weekend Julie would make sure to take a moment away from homework and rehearsal to tidy the place up to perfection, just like her mom liked it. She'd dust off the furniture, water the plants, sweep the floor, and even vacuum the whole place. One Saturday when she was home alone (her dad photographing a wedding, and Carlos at a friend's house), she even went through the trouble of washing all of the guys' old clothes. 

Somehow, and she didn't even want to think about how that worked, the clothes didn't stink when they were actually wearing them, but at any other moment when they made no contact with their skin? Yeah... not good. So she washed them all (three times, using every trick and product she had). She washed them a fourth time for good measure and, by the time she was finished, any traces of twenty-five year old mold was gone, and so was the smell.

So no, she was not snooping - no matter what Luke said - when she came across the crumpled paper ball between the couch and the low cabinet, just behind a big vase her mom had gotten from tía Victoria.

Julie sighed, making a mental note to tell Luke to put his discarded ideas in the bin (again) if he didn't want them anymore, when one scribbled and wrinkled word caught her attention: Perfect Ha-

She bit her lip, staring down at the teasing word. Perfect what? Was it lyrics? Maybe half formed ideas? Doodles? Julie knew Luke liked to doodle in the margins of his notebook whenever he got stuck trying to come up with the next best piece of lyric or melody. She also knew she should probably just leave it alone, put it with his stuff to ask him later if he wanted to keep it, or put it in the garbage. Except the more she glanced down at that damn word, the stronger she felt it pull her towards uncovering whatever else the crumpled paper ball was hiding. 

In the end, the pull was too strong. She'd just take a quick look, make sure it wasn't anything important before she threw it away. And, she reasoned with herself, trying to squish the guilt that was making itself known in the pit of her stomach: Luke had gotten rid of it, so he clearly didn't care much for whatever was in there. 

Not able to resist any longer, Julie carefully unfolded the paper, slowly making her way towards the piano and using its surface as a table to help smooth the page over.

Luke's (horrendous) handwriting covered it with the bare bones of a song, random lines were scribbled in the margins with a couple of doodles for company, and even a little note from their bassist - ‘Reggie was here ;)’.

It took her a minute before the chicken scratches became words, and then Julie's breath left her in a rush, as the guilty feeling in her stomach turned into butterflies and flew away with her imagination. 

It was a song, parts of one, anyway, and - more importantly - it was a love song.

Unprompted, her own words came back to her, "Wow, Luke! I didn't know you were such a romantic." Quickly followed by Alex's short reply, "He's not."

She knew now who Unsaid Emily was really about, but these new words were clearly about a different kind of love. The romantic kind, and Julie couldn't help letting herself believe - just for a moment - that the song might be about her.

Before she could let herself be carried away in a daydream, there was a - now familiar - shift in the air, a sound almost like static, the only thing letting her know of a ghost's appearance. Without a thought, she crumpled the page again and shoved the paper ball in her pocket for later inspection. 

"Hey, Julie!" Reggie's cheerful greeting sounded across the studio from where he had poofed in, and soon - with his "help," bless him - Julie was finished with her weekend clean up. 

As if summoned by the end of her chores, Luke poofed in, ready to rehearse. Alex soon followed; and by the time Julie retired for the night, the song had been almost forgotten where it hid inside her pocket. 

Almost.

***

After getting ready for the night, Julie settled on her bed with the wrinkled page and her dreambox. She read over the words again and again, imagining they were about her.

Step into my world, 

Bittersweet love story about a girl 

Shook me to the core 

Voice like an angel, 

I've never heard before, 

- 

You and me together, it's more than chemistry 

- 

Love me as I am 

I hold your music 

Here inside my hands 

- 

You are my brightest burning star 

- 

We create Perfect Harmony.

And unless Luke had been singing with another girl, there didn't seem to be many options on who it could be about, right?

From the beginning, Julie had felt something connecting her to him; to all of them, in different ways. But Luke had been the one to give her a little piece of his soul right after meeting her when he let her use Bright to earn back her spot in the music program. Seeing his passion reflecting back on her, the way he treated music like she used to, made her miss it more than anything for the first time in almost a year. It made her miss the way it felt to use music to connect with her mom.

After they spent a whole weekend finishing each other's songs and working on new ones, getting to know each other's inner workings - the part of them that bled out feelings into paper to create beautiful melodies, Julie knew she was a goner. Finding out he'd been the one to write the words that shaped her taste in rock certainly didn't help. Like he'd been helping her find her way to music long before they even met.

Her crush on him had been inevitable from the start, and while falling for him was probably one of the worst things she could’ve done, it was too late to stop it. She'd been free falling for a while, and hopefully she'd land in his arms soon enough. Reading over his words again gave Julie a warm fluttering in her stomach that made her think he was more than ready to catch her once she reached the ground. 

Carefully folding the piece of paper, she put it inside her dreambox, then placed the box back on the shelf.

***

The following week went by without any hiccups. Every once in a while, Julie would remember Luke's song and a familiar warmth would fill her up, leaving a soft smile on her lips and glazed eyes staring off at nothing. Just as often, Flynn would have to shake her out of her daydreams.

She didn't think much would come of it until her dad decided to throw the band a party so he could film them and post their video on YouTube. Which was fine. Amazing, even. It was most certainly great! Until Luke came to the school, staring at her with his stupid, beautiful, awed eyes, and with his soft, perfect smile, saying things that made her combust and melt, all at the same time.

"I think you make me a better writer." 

    "I think we make each other better."

Calling Nick 'Luke' was bad enough, but slipping into a complete musical sequence as she danced with him? "Goner" didn't even begin to describe her. 

Like the other times they'd written together, the lyrics flowed through her, finishing the song he'd started with the same ease as one would take a breath.

Julie knew that whatever was going on between her and Luke couldn't happen or, if it did, it couldn't last. In fact, in the great scheme of life and ghosts, she didn't know much, but what she did know was that - be it in life or in death - love was constant. 

He didn't need to have a heartbeat or to be able to touch her for her to love him. He was just as real to her as the next person, and whether it would hurt in the long run or not, it didn't matter. 

She knew Flynn was only looking out for her, but that ship had sailed, and Julie was already so lost in his ocean eyes that avoiding eye contact wasn't going to bring it back. She would entertain her though, even knowing it wouldn't work. Just like the tide, eventually he'd pull her right back in.

She could love him just as he was, for however long they had together, and especially after that.

-

End notes: I hope you guys enjoyed it! And, if you'll notice, at the beginning it kind of gives off the impression that Luke eventually finds out about the song and Julie tells him how she found it. Which may or may not lead you to believe that they're in a relationship. I guess it all depends on interpretation though ;)

Oh, also! Shout out to the chaos squad folks that guessed right! You guys are no fun :( /j lmao

[kl4us4]

STRANGE (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)

Inspiration: Strange - LP

Summary: Spencer worries about his place in the team sometimes. He doesn’t have a love life, he doesn’t get things that everyone else gets, he’s left out of jokes sometimes. His friends love him dearly, especially you. But sometimes, he feels... strange. Too strange to fit in.

masterlist

tags: early seasons Spencer, little tiny baby Spence

Spencer slumps in Garcia’s seat, sitting alone in the room as he waits for her to come back from giving Morgan some printed information on the newest victim. He taps his foot against the ground, a finger placed in his mouth as he chews on his nail.

“What’s got you worried?”

Turning back, Spencer stands when he sees you at the doorway. “Oh, I’m waiting for Garcia.” He answers, only meeting your eyes for a second. “You?” That’s the first way you know something’s wrong. Both of you are aware - if not, fond - of the lingering eye contact, the soft looks, the gentle smiles shared between the two of you. It’s what first clued Spencer on that you may have a crush on him. And you did. And Spencer didn’t know what to do because he liked you too, he just assumed it’d die down because of your status as co-workers.

“Right. I’m just dropping these off before heading home,” You nod back, placing a few files down on Garcia’s desk as you speak, “Maybe you can read up about lying since you’re really bad at it.”

Spencer cringes slightly, making you chuckle quietly. “Am I that bad?” He winces slightly, hands in his pocket as he stands in the middle of the room.

You nod at him, seeing his shoulders fall slightly. Something’s bothering him, it’s beyond obvious; at least to you, being so close to him. “Do you want to talk about it?” You wonder.

Spencer flicks his eyes up to meet yours before he gives an uncertain shrug, “I don’t know, I think Garcia might be a better contender.”

“Oh, yeah,” you nod back, backing off immediately and giving him a smile, “I hope you’re okay. Bye, Spence.”

Spence. The nickname eases tension from his shoulders a little. You’ve always been kind to him, no matter what. The whole team have, but you never make jokes at his expense or tell him to move on when he’s rambling. You always listen to him. You never knock him for his interests no matter how odd they are. “Wait.”

Turning, you raise your eyebrows at him, letting out a small, “Yeah?”

Spencer pauses, lips parted as he finds the words, “Do you ever feel...” His eyes search the room, almost as if the answer will be hidden somewhere, “Out of place? Like - like you don’t belong?”

The question saddens you a little but then you think about it and you let out a small laugh, “All the time.” You smile at him, heading over to Garcia’s desk. You clear a spot, leaning against it carefully.

“Really?” Spencer tilts his head at you, eyebrows furrowed.

“What, is that hard to believe?” You wonder, smile still gracing your lips.

Spencer just gives a small shrug, looking up at you with curious, light eyes, “Everything just... seems to come so easy for you.”

You let out a hum, “What do you mean by everything?”

“Work, friends...” He trails off, “Significant others... relationships.”

“You feel like you don’t do well in those areas?”

Now it’s Spencer letting out a laugh, “No!”

“Why?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why do you think you’re not good at making friends?”

“I don’t know... I just - I guess I bore people sometimes. I once had a girl tell me to stop talking, just straight up stop talking.” He answers, looking down and cringing as he relived the memory, “I’m... too much for people - even Morgan gets tired of me.”

You don’t mean to look so sad and upset but you can’t help but feel his pain. Spence really seems upset by this. Does he really think everyone’s bored of him? Everyone thinks he’s wonderful, if only he heard how they speak of him when he isn’t around. You wish you could tell him all the great things he can’t see, but you can’t give yourself away so directly.

“The people who matter most won’t tell you to shut up.” You remark. Spencer can’t help but meet your eyes at the serious tone. “You perceive me in a weird way, I think.” You admit to him, seeing confusion cross his face, “When I first joined, everyone hated disliked me. I didn’t think I would last a month here.”

“What?” Spencer frowns, “No way, Rossi loved you!”

“Rossi knew my mother,” you remind him, “But Emily and JJ disliked me so much that they didn’t bother getting to know me. Garcia was the only person who tried, everyone else was too... busy.”

“I had no idea.”

You shrug, letting out a huff of laughter, “I think I give off a bad impression.”

Spencer pouts, shaking his head as he thinks back to meeting you for the first time, “I liked you when I met you.”

You try not to let your cheeks turn red, “You’re the outlier. Even my roommates hated me when they first met me, then they got to know me and everything was fine. But trust me,” you shake your head, “It did not come easy for me.”

Spence lets out a small sigh, eyes drifting away from you, “Yeah. I guess not.” You don’t push, though you can sense something unsaid lingering on his lips, “We’re different.”

“How?”

Spencer shrugs, “You’re not like me. I’m - I’m kind of a nerd. I never had many friends. I never had roommates in college. I was unpopular, girls never liked me - they still don’t.” You try not to roll your eyes. “You fit in places easier than I do.”

“Who’s telling you that you need to fit in?” You pose the question. The answer is no one. No ones pushing him to be this ideal person, someone who has many friends, fits in everywhere, is socially accepted, doesn’t rant about Star Wars and science.

“Everyone,” he admits, “You’re the only person who doesn’t get tired of me or put off by how my brain works. I think... I’m too... I don’t know, strange. For most people at least.”

“Okay, and how do you fix being strange?”

This catches him off guard. His eyes snap to yours. “What?”

“You say you’re strange, so what do you change about yourself to stop being strange?” You wonder, smile now gone as you wait for his response, “Stop reading? Pretend to be bad at your job? Why? To be, what, normal?” You laugh at the idea, shaking your head at him, “Spence, who would you be if you were ‘normal’?”

“I don’t know.” He responds quietly.

“Would you be happier?”

Spencer looks up, meeting your eyes. He wonders if he were just a random person who met you at a cafe or at a bar if you two would be together. That would make him happier. “Maybe.” He admits.

“See? Bad liar.” You point out, shooting him a smile but he just forces one and looks at the ground. “Spence, I’m not saying this to try and make you feel like... what you’re feeling isn’t valid, okay? I just-” You look down at him, your eyes brushing over his face as you look at him, “If you say yourself the way that I see you.” You just shake your head, not finishing the sentence. You look down instead, stepping away from Garcia’s desk to stand in front of him. “There’s nothing wrong with who you are. I know it seems like people get tired of you, or don’t have time for you but - it’s just the pace of the job.”  When Spencer doesn’t meet your eyes, you lean forward a little, “Hey, listen to me.” He looks up, eyes becoming a little red but you don’t point it out or gaze for too long, “If you knew how much they loved and admired you, you wouldn’t be thinking this. So... I’m sorry that you don’t know how much everyone cares for you - for you, the way you are. Nothing about you needs to be changed or fixed. And don’t - don’t compare yourself to me, I used to keep all my pencil shavings in a Tupperware container when I was a kid. I had no friends.” Spencer lets out a burst of laughter - which was your goal! And he gives you a small judgmental look before you both laugh together. “We are all strange,” you admit to him, a gentle smile on your face, “And that’s never going to change. It’s nothing something that needs fixing. Don’t be afraid of that, don’t change that - especially not because of some rude girl or one of Morgan’s dumb ‘jokes’.” You place a gentle hand on his chest, above his heart, “You are who you are, and who you are is -” you cut yourself off, not getting too ahead of yourself, “Remarkable.”

Pulling your hand away, Spencer meets it with his own. His hand is gently grasping yours, keeping it hovering over his chest. You look up at him, hoping to meet his eyes but he just looks down at your hand, admiring the few rings you wear. “Remarkable?” He whispers back, only flicking his eyes to meet yours when you don’t answer.

How can you answer? Having him close makes it hard to control your breathing but now, he’s holding your hand, and looking at you like that, and you can barely breathe. You’re not sure your heart is beating correctly. Someone page Doctor Shepherd. All you can do is give Spencer a small nod, not sure what else to say to him other than, “Yes.”

A small smile tugs at the corner of Spencer’s lips and his thumb brushes the back of your hand before he lets it go. But you don’t leave yet, you slowly wrap your arms under his and around his upper waist. The two of you embrace one another, silently, passionately. And you can hear his heart beating when your head comes to rest on his chest. Spencer closes his eyes, eyebrows furrowed as he holds you tighter. The feeling of having him so close, the front of his body just shy of being pressed against yours, the way he can smell your hair when he breathes in - it brings a light peace to his heart.

“Thank you.” He mumbles quietly into your hair, not ready to step back or leave your closeness quite yet.

You’re the first to pull away, feeling your throat become dry. But you give him a smile, hoping your bashfulness isn’t too obvious, “Let me know whenever you need reminding.”

“Yeah,” he whispers back, and you have to admit his voice is so soothing when it’s low and raspy like this, “I will.” Spencer’s brown eyes linger on you and he doesn’t try to overthink when he leans in, slowly, cautiously, pressing his lips to your cheek. The kiss is soft but not brief. His lips linger on your cheek for a moment before he steps back, opening his eyes to catch the bashful smile on your lips. It’s quiet for a moment and you feel like you’re about to pass out from it. Thankfully, Spencer speaks up, “You should get some sleep. Today was long.”

“Yeah,” you nod in agreement, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He smiles as you head for the door, “See you tomorrow.”

As you walked from the BAU office, you couldn’t help but smile like an idiot all the way to your car. And when you sat in the driver's seat and locked the doors, you couldn’t help but press a hand to your burning cheek.