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phantomrose96 · 7 months

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If anyone wants to know why every tech company in the world right now is clamoring for AI like drowned rats scrabbling to board a ship, I decided to make a post to explain what's happening.

(Disclaimer to start: I'm a software engineer who's been employed full time since 2018. I am not a historian nor an overconfident Youtube essayist, so this post is my working knowledge of what I see around me and the logical bridges between pieces.)

Okay anyway. The explanation starts further back than what's going on now. I'm gonna start with the year 2000. The Dot Com Bubble just spectacularly burst. The model of "we get the users first, we learn how to profit off them later" went out in a no-money-having bang (remember this, it will be relevant later). A lot of money was lost. A lot of people ended up out of a job. A lot of startup companies went under. Investors left with a sour taste in their mouth and, in general, investment in the internet stayed pretty cooled for that decade. This was, in my opinion, very good for the internet as it was an era not suffocating under the grip of mega-corporation oligarchs and was, instead, filled with Club Penguin and I Can Haz Cheezburger websites.

Then around the 2010-2012 years, a few things happened. Interest rates got low, and then lower. Facebook got huge. The iPhone took off. And suddenly there was a huge new potential market of internet users and phone-havers, and the cheap money was available to start backing new tech startup companies trying to hop on this opportunity. Companies like Uber, Netflix, and Amazon either started in this time, or hit their ramp-up in these years by shifting focus to the internet and apps.

Now, every start-up tech company dreaming of being the next big thing has one thing in common: they need to start off by getting themselves massively in debt. Because before you can turn a profit you need to first spend money on employees and spend money on equipment and spend money on data centers and spend money on advertising and spend money on scale and and and

But also, everyone wants to be on the ship for The Next Big Thing that takes off to the moon.

So there is a mutual interest between new tech companies, and venture capitalists who are willing to invest $$$ into said new tech companies. Because if the venture capitalists can identify a prize pig and get in early, that money could come back to them 100-fold or 1,000-fold. In fact it hardly matters if they invest in 10 or 20 total bust projects along the way to find that unicorn.

But also, becoming profitable takes time. And that might mean being in debt for a long long time before that rocket ship takes off to make everyone onboard a gazzilionaire.

But luckily, for tech startup bros and venture capitalists, being in debt in the 2010's was cheap, and it only got cheaper between 2010 and 2020. If people could secure loans for ~3% or 4% annual interest, well then a $100,000 loan only really costs $3,000 of interest a year to keep afloat. And if inflation is higher than that or at least similar, you're still beating the system.

So from 2010 through early 2022, times were good for tech companies. Startups could take off with massive growth, showing massive potential for something, and venture capitalists would throw infinite money at them in the hopes of pegging just one winner who will take off. And supporting the struggling investments or the long-haulers remained pretty cheap to keep funding.

You hear constantly about "Such and such app has 10-bazillion users gained over the last 10 years and has never once been profitable", yet the thing keeps chugging along because the investors backing it aren't stressed about the immediate future, and are still banking on that "eventually" when it learns how to really monetize its users and turn that profit.

The pandemic in 2020 took a magnifying-glass-in-the-sun effect to this, as EVERYTHING was forcibly turned online which pumped a ton of money and workers into tech investment. Simultaneously, money got really REALLY cheap, bottoming out with historic lows for interest rates.

Then the tide changed with the massive inflation that struck late 2021. Because this all-gas no-brakes state of things was also contributing to off-the-rails inflation (along with your standard-fare greedflation and price gouging, given the extremely convenient excuses of pandemic hardships and supply chain issues). The federal reserve whipped out interest rate hikes to try to curb this huge inflation, which is like a fire extinguisher dousing and suffocating your really-cool, actively-on-fire party where everyone else is burning but you're in the pool. And then they did this more, and then more. And the financial climate followed suit. And suddenly money was not cheap anymore, and new loans became expensive, because loans that used to compound at 2% a year are now compounding at 7 or 8% which, in the language of compounding, is a HUGE difference. A $100,000 loan at a 2% interest rate, if not repaid a single cent in 10 years, accrues to $121,899. A $100,000 loan at an 8% interest rate, if not repaid a single cent in 10 years, more than doubles to $215,892.

Now it is scary and risky to throw money at "could eventually be profitable" tech companies. Now investors are watching companies burn through their current funding and, when the companies come back asking for more, investors are tightening their coin purses instead. The bill is coming due. The free money is drying up and companies are under compounding pressure to produce a profit for their waiting investors who are now done waiting.

You get enshittification. You get quality going down and price going up. You get "now that you're a captive audience here, we're forcing ads or we're forcing subscriptions on you." Don't get me wrong, the plan was ALWAYS to monetize the users. It's just that it's come earlier than expected, with way more feet-to-the-fire than these companies were expecting. ESPECIALLY with Wall Street as the other factor in funding (public) companies, where Wall Street exhibits roughly the same temperament as a baby screaming crying upset that it's soiled its own diaper (maybe that's too mean a comparison to babies), and now companies are being put through the wringer for anything LESS than infinite growth that Wall Street demands of them.

Internal to the tech industry, you get MASSIVE wide-spread layoffs. You get an industry that used to be easy to land multiple job offers shriveling up and leaving recent graduates in a desperately awful situation where no company is hiring and the market is flooded with laid-off workers trying to get back on their feet.

Because those coin-purse-clutching investors DO love virtue-signaling efforts from companies that say "See! We're not being frivolous with your money! We only spend on the essentials." And this is true even for MASSIVE, PROFITABLE companies, because those companies' value is based on the Rich Person Feeling Graph (their stock) rather than the literal profit money. A company making a genuine gazillion dollars a year still tears through layoffs and freezes hiring and removes the free batteries from the printer room (totally not speaking from experience, surely) because the investors LOVE when you cut costs and take away employee perks. The "beer on tap, ping pong table in the common area" era of tech is drying up. And we're still unionless.

Never mind that last part.

And then in early 2023, AI (more specifically, Chat-GPT which is OpenAI's Large Language Model creation) tears its way into the tech scene with a meteor's amount of momentum. Here's Microsoft's prize pig, which it invested heavily in and is galivanting around the pig-show with, to the desperate jealousy and rapture of every other tech company and investor wishing it had that pig. And for the first time since the interest rate hikes, investors have dollar signs in their eyes, both venture capital and Wall Street alike. They're willing to restart the hose of money (even with the new risk) because this feels big enough for them to take the risk.

Now all these companies, who were in varying stages of sweating as their bill came due, or wringing their hands as their stock prices tanked, see a single glorious gold-plated rocket up out of here, the likes of which haven't been seen since the free money days. It's their ticket to buy time, and buy investors, and say "see THIS is what will wring money forth, finally, we promise, just let us show you."

To be clear, AI is NOT profitable yet. It's a money-sink. Perhaps a money-black-hole. But everyone in the space is so wowed by it that there is a wide-spread and powerful conviction that it will become profitable and earn its keep. (Let's be real, half of that profit "potential" is the promise of automating away jobs of pesky employees who peskily cost money.) It's a tech-space industrial revolution that will automate away skilled jobs, and getting in on the ground floor is the absolute best thing you can do to get your pie slice's worth.

It's the thing that will win investors back. It's the thing that will get the investment money coming in again (or, get it second-hand if the company can be the PROVIDER of something needed for AI, which other companies with venture-back will pay handsomely for). It's the thing companies are terrified of missing out on, lest it leave them utterly irrelevant in a future where not having AI-integration is like not having a mobile phone app for your company or not having a website.

So I guess to reiterate on my earlier point:

Drowned rats. Swimming to the one ship in sight.

#chrissy speaks #long post #-gestures broadly-

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hillbillyoracle · 2 years

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Getting Moving When You’re Stuck in a Small Room

I like sharing my notes with people and I’ve heard from a few people that I am not the only person who is disabled, living with high conflict people, or just stuck spending a lot of time in one room generally. These resources are also great for people who are depressed or just need a low barrier to exercise generally.

Framework: For me, movement is a bit like the old school food pyramid. The bottom is gentle cardio/walking, the middle is strength, and the top is stretching and enjoyable activities. I put most of my time and effort into maintaining a walking practice and less as I go up. It might help to know that walking done indoors generally takes longer than walking done outdoors. More frequent movement breaks throughout the day might be more helpful and bearable than one big chunk.

Mindset: I think it’s also important to keep in mind that none of these are going to “fix you”. They’re not a thing to beat yourself up for not doing. Every time you choose to do a little more movement in your day, you’re planting a seed. You don’t lose that seed just because you didn’t exercise for the last several days, weeks, months, or even years. The more you plant, eventually some of them will sprout into fruitful benefits - but just planting one is better than not planting any. Because even one has more opportunity to bring you benefit - planting none can’t don’t do that. You planted that seed and nothing can take that away from you.

So here are some resources I use for getting more movement in with about 2′ x 6′ of clear space in my room (total space 8′ x 8′; full bed and book shelves).

Get Fit with Rick - Walking Workouts

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Get Fit with Rick was my lightbulb moment. It was about a year into the pandemic. Conflict with my partner was keeping me from wanting to so much as pass her in the hallway to get to the door some days so I started researching what was possible to do indoors. So many workouts required equipment, were loud if you were in an apartment, or were boring as hell.

But some how I stumbled onto Rick Bhuller’s walking workouts and it felt honestly a little bit life changing. It was something I could do with headphones in, quietly, in my own space.

I like his music taste, he gives you variations so you can make it harder or easier as you need, and it doesn’t require much space. Some moves don’t work in my extremely small usable area now, but I can still get through most of the workouts without having to change much. His 5k step workouts are on the higher end of what he does so if you need a shorter workout he’s got you covered.

While he does mention weight loss on occasion, it’s not his focus. He has a very positive coaching style that really just encourages you to have fun with it.

Hybrid Calisthenics - Strength/Bodyweight Workouts

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I fucking love Hampton.

He’s got such a lovely energy and is an incredibly positive and resilient person. When it comes to this workout videos, he focuses building a foundation for healthy functional movement and preventing injury. He teaches bodyweight progressions and doesn’t make any one progression the goal.

While his pullup methods might not work in a very small space, everything else has for me. I can do it all on a yoga mat that fits in my little walkway. For the pullups, I replace them with rows that I do with a milk jug filled with water to at least get something in. I might look into kettlebells as I get stronger. Hoping he’ll make a video at some point with some variations.

I still struggle with strength training but I’m the most consistent I’ve ever been thanks to his positive and adaptive style of teaching.

His website is probably the most accessible way to get into his content.

Dayana Wang - Workouts in Bed

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Content warning with her stuff that much of it uses dated and toxic weight loss language so if you find that triggering I would skip her videos.

But if you can tolerate that, her bed workouts are really helpful! I did these when pain was keeping me from getting out of bed. I’d just follow along until I couldn’t anymore. I slept better and felt better and my flares were a little shorter as a result.

Take care not to strain yourself with some of the moves. Depending on the firmness of your bed, some might not be advisable.

She has some bed workouts for different areas - arms, core, legs, etc - so if you have an injury in one area, you can always follow a workout for the others.

But overall, excellent resource for bedbound folks.

Yoga with Adrienne - Yoga/Stretching

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Who hasn’t heard of Yoga with Adriene at this point?

She’s a favorite for a reason. She really does have videos for every skill level. I really enjoyed what I was able to complete of her 30 days of Yoga series that she has. It’s a great spot to jump in to her channel and get a sampling of her different offerings.

What I most like to use her videos for are for stress relief stretches. I can’t really get into yoga personally but her hip, back, and neck progressions have been wildly helpful. Her bedtime yoga videos are also a treat.

Hope this helps someone out there or at least saves them a little time! I really felt like I was wondering around in the dark on this a few years ago so I really hope this spares someone that experience.

#exercise #studyblr #movement #health #wellness

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thegodthief · 9 months

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What're you most looking forward to next year? It can be spiritual / religious, or magical, or just completely mundane!

Every time I have looked at this ask, it has been a different time of day, and my answer will have changed accordingly! Let's see... since it looks like I'm going to stick around and make it everyone else's problem, what kind of problems do I want to get into?

LASAGNA! Garfield had it right, a good lasagna is a reason to keep going. Not the modern thick slabs of barely cooked pasta with meat flavored "sauce" and whipped cellulose cheese substitute. I want something that Baba made after sending us kids to all the grocery stores for just the right collection of cheeses. I want a lasagna slice so dense with animal proteins, a deep-dish pizza is going to spill itself in the oven in jealousy. I want a lasagna that requires a steak-knife to cut, none of this "press firmly with a spatula" bullshit. I need my ribs spackled!

Finishing Book Two. Really. Seriously. It's time to let the guilt of falling down go away and get back up and get back in it. When I look back and see what had happened that year, that so many people at work saw that I was spiraling in a bad way but chose to get popcorn, or worse, do nothing, so that when I crashed and openly broke down it was to no one's surprise... when I look back and see what I fucking lived through... Fuck it. Melissa's story is not going to get told unless I tell it. Even though I don't expect anyone to read it. I've noticed that stories set during the height of the pandemic are vigorously avoided. And I get that. A lot of people don't want to be reminded of what happened. But some of us don't have the luxury of forgetfulness and if finishing Book Two (and eventually, the planned series) is what helps me heal, well, it's cheaper than anything the medical system can offer me.

Change of Address. Last year, I had the opportunity to purchase a house. Between credit score and income, it looked like I was going to be able to do the thing after all. I had the help of some competent agents that were frank about what I could afford and what kind of neighborhoods that looked like around here. I almost jumped for it at the time, but did not. Staying put was the right thing to do after all that happened, but I haven't forgotten the opportunity is still there. I just want a better launch pad to go from. (Besides, if all works out, I might even get to host a dinner.)

Connecting with others. Because of what had happened to me at the local Well-known Pagan Occult Shop (they don't like being called pagan because SEO) a literal decade ago, I had given up on any local meet-ups, seminars, or even just safe places to hang out. I was well played and was being set up to be the Bad Person™ when I walked away and I knew that any attempt to tell the truth would just result in me being targeted harder for retaliation either by the asshole that took advantage of me or the people who thought he walked on water such that he was incapable of being a sexual predator. Just when I thought I could start again in other areas, the pandemic showed up, and in the midst of that, a Big Name Occultist revealed what all the outsiders knew about his leanings and getting away from all that left me stained and crushed because I thought I had learned my lesson from the first grifter, but apparently not. But. I survived that, just like I survived everything else, and learning how to make friends is going to be harder than learning how to live, but I'll give it a try.

MOAR BITCHING! I have become competent enough in Spanish that I can speak it at work and hold my own to the point where some of the native Spanish speakers look at me funny when they realize that I'm conversing with them because it's fluid enough for them to forget that it's not my first language. It feels like I've hit a critical milestone in that my lessons now are about the more obscure words, phrases, and topics to round things out. I'm not going to throttle down on the Spanish, but it's time for me to begin on a few other languages that I've always wanted to learn but my childhood teachers said I was too stupid to pick up. Spite is an incredible motivator. My goal is to be able to bitch out a cunt in at least three different languages in the same breath and still be parsable to any eavesdropping native speaker.

#Keri answers an ask.#liminalblessings

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keldjinfae · 3 months

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I was tagged by my musical doppleganger @oldefashioned to list my top ten recent(ish) movies, but my memory is absolute shit and what feels like was "just last year" was probably back in 2017. I also can't remember if I've already responded to this one. Thankfully it's not a coffee pot or the house'd probably have burned down by now.

Edit: Thanks to an artwork reblog, I remembered that 1) my sister and I also saw Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, and 2) it was released in 2019. We enjoyed the hell out of it, and it's a shame that there likely won't be a sequel.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood - I went to see this one with my sister right before the pandemic shut-ins, and we loved the hell out of it. We expected to because it was a Tarantino movie, but both DiCaprio and Pitt were brilliant in it, and were each given the opportunity to stretch their comedic muscles in a way that the '90s and early '00s didn't really allow for because they had to be Hollywood's ideal of "leading men." They're both just dudes in this movie--totally relatable dudes.

Bullet Train - I actually went to see this with my sister right after the pandemic shut-ins, and we thought it was poetic to be bookending the experience with Brad Pitt in another oft-times comical role. The whole thing is a very black comedy, but it's so damn good. The timing is perfect, the acting from everyone is spot-on, and Pitt is only arguably the main character in a brilliant ensemble cast, because he often just sits back and lets everyone else steal the show. Also, there's something about Michael Shannon that draws me into every single thing he's ever been in, so...

John Wick Chapter 4 - also went to see it with my sister, but this was the one that we finally managed to get my brother-in-law to go see as well and thereby pulled him into the John Wick 'verse. Sis and I also flailed around like idiots over the reference to The Warriors, and I'm never going to dismiss a chance to see something with any of the Skarsgards.

Love and Monsters - I put off watching this one for a while because of the marketing for it, actually. I thought it was going to be another movie about a protagonist who was the butt of everyone's joke, and I eventually "went in" prepared to cringe hard and take frequent pause breaks... only to be very pleasantly surprised when this wasn't the case at all.

Red, White, and Royal Blue - again, one that I put off for a bit partly because of aversion to secondhand embarrassment, but also because I'd been in the middle of writing a Sterek fic with an approaching deadline. Still, I was also once again pleasantly surprised.

Joker - yet another one I went to see with my sister. Appropriately twisted, had Joaquin Phoenix, and we both walked away wanting to get our hands on the soundtrack.

Bohemian Rhapsody - I know this one was pre-pandemic, but 2020 was also the year that my back gave out and I've more or less been struggling just to get by ever since, so "recent" is going to have a somewhat warped definition. It wasn't "the perfect biopic," but it was still enjoyable, and my sister and I went to see it with our mom and her best friend, who've both been die-hard Queen fans since they were twelve. We couldn't afford to take Mom to see Queen in-concert, so we took her to see their movie instead.

Deadpool 2 - loved it just as much as the first Deadpool, though I do wish that the movies would just let Vanessa be Copycat already instead of making her a damsel in distress/killing her off every time.

Infinity War - I honestly preferred Civil War and Guardians of the Galaxy, vol. 2, but there were plenty of moments in this movie that either hit hard or hit right.

End Game - I saw it, though I don't remember a lot of it. Not because it was a terrible movie or anything, it just came out less than two weeks after my father passed away, so my sister and I basically went to see it because he didn't get to see the last two movies of the series. Well, before they went ahead with Phase Four, that is. Dad, Sis, and I were all die-hard Captain America: Winter Soldier fans and we'd loved the hell out of Civil War, too, so Dad would've wanted to see how everything resolved. More no pressure whatsoever tags for people who have hopefully been able/willing to see more movies than me in the past few years: @vmures @nerdherderette @ice-mage @dear-massacre @renmackree

#this is a tag game #i have apparently lived beneath a rock for the past five years #this is probably what busted up my back

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nakanotamu · 2 years

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Different anon here, but would you mind telling us a little more about saya kamitani and utami hayashishita's relationship? (or lack of one as it were)

ANON I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME ALMOST A MONTH TO GET BACK TO YOU I also apologize in advance for not having a whole essay and cute pictures like I did for Syuri and Utami

Okay so right when Kamitani debuted, she said Utami was her "goal", the still inexperience prodigy who'd debuted a year before her. While Kamitani was an unaffiliated rookie there was sort of an... I'd call it an unspoken agreement that she would follow her "master" (or teacher, master in the martial arts sense) Tam into Stars. However, on February 16th 2020, at Stardom's last pre-pandemic show (the timing of this show makes it feel somehow like it was 1 million years ago and like there's no way it was only in early 2020) Kamitani challenged Utami for the Future championship. After their match, which Utami won, she told Kamitani she liked her and wanted her to join Queen's Quest. Kamitani immediately accepted, much to Tam's chagrin. (They eventually mostly worked it out.) Coincidentally Utami bringing in Kamitani was the first Leader thing she did, almost fully 2 years before Momo left QQ and Utami actually became leader.

From then to now, this is basically their entire relationship in a nutshell:

They started teaming and won the tag belts VERY quickly, in July 2020, after they were vacated due to Bea Priestley and Jamie Hayter no longer being able to be in the country due to covid. They were not extremely dominant champions, with only 2 defences in 5 months before they lost the belts. Kamitani was still settling into her new Cool, Sophisticated QQ persona, and while she was working really, really hard to live up to being Utami's partner, she was the obvious weak point of their team.

Kamitani earned a spot in Stardom's first NJPW crossover Tokyo Dome match (I do not remember exactly how she got in lol) and she used that opportunity to challenge Utami for the red belt, which she held at the time. This was a BOLD overstep for someone of Kamitani's standing at the time. Utami played it like just letting Kamitani challenge would have been unbecoming of the top champion, like Kamitani just didn't have a good enough claim to challenging for it to be okay, it wasn't that she didn't want to just, it's the World championship, you can't just give whoever you like a shot. Except beneath her words it was really obvious that she like, kind of likes Kamitani and just didn't want to fight her. Kamitani told her that she wanted this challenge more than anything, that she was willing to sacrifice their tag team over it, and Utami accepted. Utami beat her and they made up, Kamitani still seeing Utami as a goal but realizing Utami did, like, respect her - it was only Kamitani that saw herself as a fuck up, not Utami.

Throughout that year their relationship was pretty much, Utami supporting her (as much as the champ can) while Kamitani was working really hard to build herself up while. That's kind of always been the tone of their relationship. Utami says "Hey, I'm here for you, you can do this." Kamitani responds "Oh my god, I'm in love with you" and Utami goes "Not like that." Literally just a few months ago when Utami wished Kamitani a happy birthday, Kamitani responded "Utami I love youuuuuu" to which Utami responded "I KNOW"

So, yeah, basically as time goes on Kamitani DOES build herself up. She wins the white belt from Tam and begins a reign with it that will seemingly never fucking end. In early 2022 she nominates Utami to be her challenger at a big show at Ryogoku Kokugikan. The tables are turned from a year before, now Kamitani is the champion, and she wants to prove at last that she's really on Utami's level now.

This time Kamitani does win in a match I will be honest I didn't love. The white belt is a bit of a white whale for Utami and she can't overcome that here. Utami reaffirms that she respects Kamitani and she never thought she wasn't on her level, but also says - with the acknowledgment that this will just sound like she's bitter because she lost - that Kamitani is missing something as champion, something that Tam, Giulia, Arisa, Momo had. I am inclined to agree, and that's kind of been a thing throughout Kamitani's reign, people saying she doesn't quite actually have it, that she's not quite actually as good as her results, but boy that sure has not stopped her from getting those results. (The "thing" is probably being able to let out her emotions in a match. Every other champ in recent memory was excellent at making you feel something - in all of their matches, but their title matches especially. Her feelings sometimes coming across as a little too fake is still a weak spot for Kamitani imo, particularly rough when that's what the white belt is supposed to be all about. Kamitani does shine at this sometimes, but she's not consistent.)

And that's pretty much it until this year in Tag League. AphroditE teamed once again, I think making them the team this year with the most entries - and honestly probably the frontrunners for most entries together ever. They were, in fact, much more even partners this year, with Utami even showing some affection and putting in some effort to follow Kamitani's lead a lot of the time. They made it to the finals, but having wrestled their last block match right before the finals with no break in between, 7Upp were too much for them.

Now they're teaming together again (along with AZM) in Triangle Derby, which is still in its early stages, so it's hard to say how it'll go for them. Right now they have a perfectly neutral record of 1-1-1.

So that should be pretty much it. They're surprisingly solid compared to most other partners in Stardom. Kamitani continually professes her love while Utami friendzones her hard, but it's not like Kamitani is having breakdowns from seeing Utami kiss Syuri instead of her either. Here have some cute pictures

#long post #Stardom #joshi puroresu #Saya Kamitani #Utami Hayashishita

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destinyc1020 · 5 months

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After reading the following passage from her Vogue interview, Zendaya really needs a long break from not working and also some time away from her family to just be her with no pressure and be able to try shit.

“What was the other option for you? What were your goals growing up?”

“Hmm. It’s funny,” Zendaya says, “because it’s something that I’m figuring out now. I don’t know how much of a choice I had. I have complicated feelings about kids and fame and being in the public eye, or being a child actor. We’ve seen a lot of cases of it being detrimental.… And I think only now, as an adult, am I starting to go, Oh, okay, wait a minute: I’ve only ever done what I’ve known, and this is all I’ve known. I’m almost going through my angsty teenager phase now, because I didn’t really have the time to do it before. I felt like I was thrust into a very adult position: I was becoming the breadwinner of my family very early, and there was a lot of role-reversal happening, and just kind of becoming grown, really.” She’d felt that she needed to be “this perfect being, and be everything that everyone needs me to be, and live up to all these expectations.”

“Now, when I have these moments in my career—like, my first time leading a film that’s actually going to be in a theater—I feel like I shrink, and I can’t enjoy all the things that are happening to me, because I’m like this”—Zendaya balls up her fists. “I’m very tense, and I think that I carry that from being a kid and never really having an opportunity to just try shit. And I wish I went to school.”

Awww.... Yea, I recall this from her recent Vogue interview. 😔

I mean, if you think about it, any child who has been working professionally since they were a kid, sometimes, they didn't really get a chance to just be a kid without any responsibilities. I'm sure that can carry some weight to it into adulthood.

I never got the impression that Z's parents ever forced her into acting.... Z has always said that her parents told her that they would easily and gladly pick up and move from LA and move back to Oakland if there was ever a time when she didn't enjoy acting. I just assumed that she always enjoyed it! 🤷🏾‍♀️

But she's a self-proclaimed perfectionist, so she probably never allowed herself the time or grace to just mess up, screw up, try new things, etc.... and some part of me wishes that she kind of had?

She didn't really have a chance to go through her "crazy college years" like most of us do.... She was too busy working and being a perfect role model. Even if you don't mind being a role model for others, that can sort of weigh on you after a while, and you can kind of have like an early mid-life crisis or smthg if you're not careful lol. 😅

Not saying that would happen to Z, but just that eventually, someone can get tired of feeling the overwhelming pressure to be "perfect" and go the complete opposite way lol, ykwim?

She already took a break last year, and she tried some new things during the pandemic, (i.e. playing piano, doing a two-person film called M&M, etc).

She has loads of time to just do or try whatever she feels like doing in the future imo. 😊

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fiapartridge · 6 months

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have you already posted your stats, if not what we’re they? congrats!!

i think i did but i can’t find it anymore 😭😭 so i’ll post them again here HAHAH (also thank u!!!)

gpa: 3.94 (uw), 4.25 (w) but i think ucs look at ur 10-12 weighted so i had a 4.4 w gpa

tests: i went test-optional! and then i submitted all of the ap exams that i scored a 3+ on

ap classes: i took 10 aps (ap world history, apush, ap chem, ap lang, ap comp sci, ap lit, ap bio, ap gov, ap econ, & ap stats)

awards: LITERALLY JUST HONOR ROLL LMFAOOO like that’s all i had 😭

extracurriculars: i was senior class president, junior class vice president, i founded and was the president of a women’s rights/menstrual equity club, i did competitive karate for a bunch of years, i taught karate to kids, i volunteered for spread the love (we wrote notes + letters to kids diagnosed with autism), i wrote for the school’s newspaper, and i was the team manager of my school’s badminton team

essays!! these r muchh different than the common app essays! (there’s 8 prompts and then you pick 4 essays to write! here’s what i chose!)

1. describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others

i wrote about how i stopped doing karate competitively after the pandemic because all of my friends stopped and how i kinda lost my love for the sport. then i started teaching & it made me love karate again

2. what would you say is your greatest talent or skill?

i talked about creative writing LOL. i (very lowkey) talked about my fics that i used to write for someone and how they blew up and i had a bunch of readers LMAO so if i ever see this person i wrote about irl ill be sure to thank them for getting me into uc berkeley haha

3. describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

i wrote about how i didn’t have teachers for a lot of my academic journey. like i had subs coming in and out of the classroom and there was never the stability of having a teacher so i had to learn how to self study and teach myself these things from a young age

4. what have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

i wrote about my women’s rights/menstrual equity club and how we put hygiene products in different classrooms around school & how we eventually got dispensers in the bathrooms

so i didn’t have the highest stats, i didn’t get straight As throughout high school (i think i got like 3 Bs), and i def wasn’t valedictorian but i still got in! schools like uc berkeley look at each person holistically so it’s really like do they see who you are thru ur essays; it’s not just grades and extracurriculars. so def try if you’re considering!!! u never know!!

college decisions is such a gamble tbh. like i got waitlisted at uc irvine but accepted to uc berkeley. like it might seem like everything is going wrong but it’ll be okay!!! it’ll all work out in the end!!!

#uc berkeley #my stats!!!

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somuchyoudontknow · 1 year

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I’m the “rant” anon that got the big yes and audience clapping gif …..thank you by the way! ☺️

I wanted to add that this situation even after everything that’s has occurred is still 100% salvageable.

Meaning Chris can make a huge comeback but this situation MUST end expeditiously.

When Chris is still offline, they can announce a breakup, don’t blame the freaking fans but make up some excuse and then boom he’s publicly single. Mind you due to the bs articles the last few days, I’m sure the general public will blame fans. We’ll get over it as long as this is the last bs he ends up in.

Next Chris needs to seek personal therapy as to why he ended up in this situation and to learn some self awareness, everyone isn’t the problem…..it’s him and his actions/inactions and choices.

As a fandom we know he runs when things get to hard and just like clockwork people were expecting him to post something on her birthday…..he ran. People also think he ran due to future crap coming like a wedding. 🙄 …….I do have a fear that he will double down and they’ll use everything listed in my previous post to try to prove once again that this bs is “real”.

Unfortunately I have no more hope regarding this situation but I’m willing to be shocked if he starts taking the reigns of his personal and professional life.

Unfortunately due to his latest podcast….I just don’t know. He seems wise one minute and completely unaware the next. He’s been privileged with so much but easily gets lost in his head or shaken by world events or the industry.

No one can’t tell me the pandemic didn’t scare him. That Lily James stunt was probably due to him being scared people would lose interest in him and he’d fade into oblivion, but out of ALL celebs he actually had good relevance which is why everyone was shocked he was participating in pr bullshit in the middle of a fucking pandemic and now even more shocked and absolutely fed up with the current bs.

He was doing so well prior to all of this and probably saw this pr crap as a means of safety financially and professionally (future projects) but he never expected this to blow up the way it did.

Now he has the perfect opportunity to fix it and take full accountability but he won’t so he saw an out of this…..blame …..US.

Chris and team need to end this publicity stunt, dead all the bs rumors of engagement and marriage talk and Chris will hopefully be able to promote his upcoming work or we may be in for the absolute worse. I truly hope this strike ends with actors and writers getting their due.

Chris seems to work in fear and eventually that leads to ending up in the worse kinds of situations.

Chris messed up, we all do, he’s human HE needs to realize that and release all these high and some unrealistic expectations of himself that he and others have placed on him.

Like I previously stated, he IS enough, but until he realizes that…….I fear for his future. We as humans will continue to make mistakes over and over again until we learn and unfortunately some just never learn and end up with completely shattered lives.

I still want the best for Chris but he has to want it for himself.

Thanks for reading and sorry for the long post….again. 🤭

Oh no, don't be sorry :) Thank you so much for being here. You again have made some excellent points!

#chris-evans #alba-baptista #chris evans pr

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alternativememories · 6 months

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both sides...

i have a friend who has sucked for a while now. i've been thinking about writing about it for a minute but i've been putting it off like everything with our friendship lately...but part of who i want to be is someone that shows up, even when things fucking suck, and i can't waste any more time. i know what i've got to do and it's time to rip the band-aid off. our friendship is over and i've gotta be real about it.

i'm fucking sad, man. i see him as a younger brother. so much of how we see things and approach things is similar to one another. the ways that he has sucked for some time are really similar to how i struggled when i was younger. he had a breakup recently, which in the big picture i thought would actually end up being good for him. i think both he and his ex have stuff that they need to work on individually and that this would be a good opportunity for him to get himself squared away.

but the spiral continues. the last time i saw him we talked about where he was with things and where he's headed and it was mostly half-assed excuses. it's apparent that he's not showing up for himself, let alone anyone else for that matter. he smokes, which has kept him comfortable in the cycle of not showing up in any meaningful way, and he lacks accountability. he's living with his parents right now and it seems like they're enabling his behavior.

it's shitty. we lived together up until the end of october and to be honest it was toxic as fuck. it came down to money and cleaning. in moving in, we agreed to not have his now-ex on the lease to keep things simple in case they ended up not working out as a couple. however, when she ended up staying at the apartment more than A and i and we wanted her to pay toward the bills, it was an issue *eye roll*. initially, the conversation about contributing was shut down bc homie talked to other roommate and he supposedly said that he didn't care if she paid and that was the end of it...(we'll revisit this)

at one point during this conflict, there was a text about wanting to be friends after the lease would end...i've thought a lot about that since. it took me some time to figure out why i couldn't help but fixate on it, but with where we are now i think i know the answer. the statement operates through an inherent assumption that how things were handled was damaging to our friendship. to be honest, it was. the bills conflict was infuriating bc the argument against contributing was school loan payments being high; meanwhile in watching behavior they ate out all the time. and you know, everyone has bills. but not everyone takes advantage of their friends to pay theirs.

with the cleaning thing, it became clear that he was frustrated by the cleanliness of the apartment but never communicated what those expectations even were. eventually we landed on a chore-board. but this wasn't without its problems bc it just led to them not being accountable for their share of the chores; beyond that, there was noticeable passive-aggressiveness toward the other roommate who tbh idk if he ever even agreed to in the first place. weird to someone to a standard they never agreed to but maybe that's just me...

when he and his ex broke up he told me a very specific story of what led to the fracture. i want to say that i found the specificity odd but dismissed it bc i was excited to have my friend back. when they were dating he was very reclusive and we were barely friends anymore. truthfully, we moved here in a pandemic and while i have loads of coworkers, he's really been my only friend here...but a few weeks ago i found out that it looks like he's lied about those specifics of the story that he told me, knowing that it fundamentally changes the reaction. it's manipulative.

in thinking about it, i've really tried to explain away or excuse the poor behavior...but to be honest, it's inexcusable and with what he's lied about, there's no recourse here...there's no way to police the behavior, and with him lying about it, no way to trust anything he says that it's even stopped. now i'm wondering what else he's lied about to get what he wants. the first thing that comes to mind is the bills conversation. it's a fundamental breach of trust and i don't think our friendship can be repaired. it fucking sucks and this fucking sucks but it is what it is...because he sucks.

#2024

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shandian-go · 2 years

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Hi! If you’re willing to share, I was just wondering what degree you have or if you could give a vague idea of what field you work in. I’m trying to figure out a new career path and I still don’t have a clue of what to do.

You’re so capable and smart at what you do in GOs so I was wondering if you have recs for stable career paths or if you have advise in being as good at management as you are. Sorry if this seems intrusive! (Please don’t feel like you have to answer if you can’t/don’t have time or if these feel intrusive. I totally understand. Otherwise, I am very appreciative of a tiny bit of advise or insight into a stable career path.)

ahh i can try to answer about my own experience but my knowledge of jobs outside my own industry is pretty limited so this may not make for the best advice just an fyi;;;

i majored in accounting in uni and worked a few years in public accounting firms. it's not exactly an experience i'd recommend to everyone bc public is pretty stressful and it's 60+ hr weeks during busy season, but i learned so much there so don't regret it. we mostly work with spreadsheets and numbers and the standards for accuracy and proper documentation are really high. so those skills def helped me set up this GO in a way that could let me track everything comfortably.

i personally chose accounting specifically for its stability and my job didn't really get impacted by the pandemic. there's def a misconception that you have to be amazing at math to go into accounting but as someone who's definitely not good at Real Math, imo you just need to know the basics and also not hate numbers n__n;;; and if you'd like to get your cpa, then it's more about case writing skills and reading through accounting standards/tax rules than actual math calculations (at least in canada).

i will say though that quite a few of my friends have left accounting to go into tech as developers/software engineers, which has much better pay and a lot more job opportunities overall. there's coding bootcamps online so you don't have to go back to school for a full degree. however i've heard that their interviews are more technical so requires more self-study. and depending on where you work, the hours can be pretty rough too;;;

i also have some friends who are acturaries that work for insurance companies, but from what i understand, it involves harder math and they had to pass for 6-8 certification exams (in contrast i only had to pass 1). i know of a few others who got their cfa designation and got finance/analyst-type roles at banks but i'm not as familiar with the process;;;

unfortunately i don't know much about 'stable' careers outside of business/tech so that's pretty much all i can touch on;;; since my experience is pretty limited and i kind of stumbled upon my own career path, i think my only general advice is that if you're not sure about what you want, you can start with figuring out what you dislike or what would be a difficult fit for your personality type.

for me, i knew in high school that i was bad at sciences so avoided all science programs when applying to uni. i'm also not a natural speaker so it was pretty stressful whenever i had to give presentations or interact face-to-face with clients. eventually i figured out that i was better at writing and also liked working with numbers, as well as researching/digging into details to solve problems on my own, and ended up where i am now ;u;

choosing a career is such a difficult decision and i hope that you have family/friends who have more insight on your situation and can give you better feedback/support than i can;;; hopefully some of this was helpful and i wish you the best of luck!

#sorry this is so long winded but hopefully it gave you some ideas #i talked to a lot of older friends who had more experience in my field before making career changes #so i'm sort of parroting what they told me and generalizing it a bit as there's some things more specific to my industry;;;

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timeslostart · 1 year

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July 14th, 2021

SUSTAINABLE LIVING - MODERN LIVING AND WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH KNITTING?

Everything in balance...

So recently, due to the worldwide pandemic, I found myself with a lot of time on my hands. (It’s over a year later and we are still feeling the effects.) I thought this was a wonderful opportunity to work on some knitting designs I’ve had in the works for a while and prepare for the annual winter craft and trade show I usually attend, however, nothing ever entirely goes as you plan. KNITTER’S WRIST IS A REAL THING! I sprained my wrist at the beginning of April and couldn’t knit anything for almost two months. What’s a knitter to do?

I binge watched Netflix for about a week and then I became very bored. I needed something to do after my son went to bed other than watch TV. I saw an advertisement on Facebook for some online courses through a website based out of the UK, that after a bit of research, I found was quite reputable and so my quest for knowledge to end my boredom began.

Among the many courses I decided to sign up for, some to help further my career, others that were just for fun, I found one that I was just plain curious about, Sustainable Living.

Now I am sure you are wondering what this has to do with knitting... a lot actually. As knitters we get to choose the kind of yarn we use to knit with. So why not choose a few items that are a bit healthier for the environment. Wool over acrylic yarn is a great start especially if you buy from a smaller business that is certified organic and ethical. They are out there and yes they are a bit more expensive than buying from a big box store but I’m okay paying a little more for quality and a healthier environment. O-Wool is an amazing brand of wool yarn (it is in the name) that is based out of the United States and luckily for me, ships to Canada for a very reasonable price. If you are interested in learning more about this company and their amazing 100% merino and cotton/wool blend yarns please go to www.o-wool.com for more details.

Another simple change that is easy to make might be looking into using wooden knitting needles instead of metal ones. However, if you love your metal needles and don’t want to give them up, buying vintage knitting needles from a secondhand store instead of new would also be a great alternative. I’ve found that they even make wooden yarn needles now which I find very interesting to work with.

These are just a few little things you can do but if we all start thinking about the little things and making small changes in our everyday lives eventually bigger changes will follow.

Gabrielle Vansteelandt

Times Lost Art

#knitting #knitting needles #knittingneedles #yarn #wool #timeslostart #knitters of tumblr

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writemarcus · 1 year

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In Conversation: Keelay Gipson with Marcus Scott

Keelay Gipson, an award-winning multi-disciplinary Afro-surrealist dramatist, activist, and teaching artist, knows what it means to battle your inner demons and come out the other side.

In June 2020, during the pandemic, Gipson’s mother, Gwendolyn, passed away. From the pangs of grief, Gipson began excavating and examining his life and journey as a storyteller. Born in Oklahoma City to a young, unwed mother, the prolific writer was adopted by a Black married couple from the Deep South who relocated and raised him in the idyllic suburbs of Tulsa. It was his mother that nourished his love of theater and the performing arts. Studying acting at Pace, and after a period of being relegated to roles of drug dealers, gang bangers, and sex workers, Gipson turned his focus to writing for the stage and advocating for Black people and Black lives through his work. This would eventually lead to a passionate drive as an activist, with Gipson eventually becoming a member of “We See You, White American Theater,” an anonymously-led coalition of artists that circulated a widely read set of demands for change during a cultural reckoning that saw seismic shifts in and out of the entertainment world.

Now, the award-winning scribe is on the verge of making his off-Broadway debut with the kitchen-sink drama demons., a poetic meditation on loss and legacy. The play, produced by The Bushwick Starr in association with JAG Productions, revolves around the Daimon family who have come together to bury their patriarch and exorcise the trauma passed down to them—but is it too late?

While speaking via FaceTime from his apartment in Brooklyn’s Flatbush neighborhood, Gipson was in the midst of rehearsals for DOT DOT DOT, a TheaterworksUSA musical commission based on the Creatrilogy trio of picture books by New York Times bestselling author Peter H. Reynolds, adapted with composer Sam Salmond. Below is our conversation about the glass ceiling, gatekeeping, and demons.

Marcus Scott (Rail): Can you describe the journey of going from actor to playwright?

Keelay Gipson: The journey from actor to playwright was really just me following the path of least resistance. I was a student in the Musical Theater program at Pace University (class of 2010) and didn’t find much success in booking roles in my time there. This was way before we were having these kinds of nuanced conversations surrounding race and representation in theater. So I began writing roles for myself to act. I would get folks together in an empty studio and we’d read my plays. Soon I stopped acting in them and would just listen to them. I found my voice while trying to give me and the other brown and Black folks an opportunity to be full artists during a time and in a program where that wasn’t happening.

Rail: How many plays have you written and where does demons. stand among them?

Gipson: I’ve written seven full length plays. demons. is the most recent. I began working on it in the summer of 2019 as part of a joint residency with New York Stage and Film and the Dramatist Guild Foundation.

Rail: While I have my theories—why is the name of your show called demons.?

Gipson: I grew up in a Southern Baptist household. The idea of demons. is something that has always been a part of my consciousness. As a child, I remember my dad telling stories about seeing exorcisms, and it always fascinated me. This idea that something other could be the cause of our afflictions, both mentally and physically. I wanted to toy with that idea. Honor the faith that I grew up with while reclaiming it on some level.

Rail: In a 2020 interview with JAGFest, you said “demons. was a play I wasn’t supposed to write, so I listened to the muse; I sat down and it came out of me.” Can you explain this?

Gipson: As I said, I was in residence with NYSAF and DGF at Vassar in the summer of 2019. I was there to work on another play of mine, The Red and the Black—which is a play about the rise of New Black Conservatism. I often have multiple projects going at one time. A play I’m “supposed to” be writing and a “procrastination play” [laughs]. demons. was the latter. Honestly, it was a thought experiment. I was moving squarely into my mid-thirties and I had seen friends lose parents, and I was trying to mentally prepare myself for what that might feel like. Little did I know, the play would be the precursor for my own experience with the death of a parent during the pandemic. I say, “it wasn’t the play I was supposed to write” but it was the play I needed to write.

Rail: So, what’s it about? What was the inspiration for your play demons.? I assume the loss of your mother.

Gipson: Yeah. So, the story follows a Black family after the death of their patriarch. And what I noticed in dealing with the aftermath of a death is that a lot of stuff comes up, right? So, demons. is an exploration through an Afro-surrealist lens of what comes up after the death of a family member, mainly of a parent. The things that you have to reckon with, things that maybe aren’t yours, but that you inherit. So, there’s this idea of inherited trauma, and especially with Black folks in America, what we pass down to our family members and what we leave behind when we’re no longer here. So, demons. is an exploration of all of those good things that death sort of unearths.

Rail: I followed your journey throughout the pandemic with regards to the loss. Once again, I'm very sorry for your loss, man.

Gipson: Thank you. I appreciate it.

Rail: What was your relation like to your mother?

Gipson: My mother was my biggest cheerleader. In high school, she was the president of the parent association for the drama program. She got the pass to come do a photo-call during the dress rehearsal; she would be there with her camera in the front row taking pictures, not for promotional use but for the scrapbook. Like, my mom was the one who was like, “Go to New York.” I went to New York a couple times in high school with my drama program and my mom came as a chaperone. We went and saw the shows that we saw with the theater department and then we went and saw our own shows. My mom, she loved theater and she was the one that—when we didn’t have the money and I didn’t know if I could come to New York to go to school—she pulled me aside and was like, “I’m gonna make this happen for you.” She was… she was everything.

Rail: So, you’re working on this play about Black conservatives—I think it’s hilarious cause both of us have written about Black conservatives during the pandemic, by the way—and you’ve got so many other things going on; you’re an advocate, or an “artivist” as you call yourself, being one of the figureheads behind We See You, White American Theater and the issues revolving around that, in tandem with the multiple projects you’re cultivating. So before we get into that aspect of your life, was it hard for you to kind of mentally go from one place to another place? Are you one of those writers where you have to be working on multiple projects or are you one of those writers where you can only work on one project at a time?

Gipson: I have never worked on just one project at a time. I think for me, I need something that’s completely opposite of the thing that I’m supposed to be doing. Like, if I have a commission that’s about a historical moment, then I’m gonna write something that’s wild and fanciful over here to like, break out of that—not monotony—but break out of the sort of structure that one wouldn't give me. So yeah, I’m often working on multiple things just to keep my brain limber.

Rail: That’s interesting. I see the link between The Red and the Black in your artivism, but what about this particular play with regards to it?

Gipson: This play kind of feels like a new era of my artistry. You know, I’ve written several plays that are about race, that are about Black folks dealing with race and racism, and not like, being beat down by it, but finding a way through; and I try to be honest in all of those works, but this play feels very much not a part of that pantheon. It feels like, to quote Toni Morrison, I’m taking the white person off of my shoulder. It’s not about race. It’s about Black folks. I wanna write about Blackness and all its complexity and not in relationship to whiteness or to racism. This feels like a new era of work for me, where it’s just about these Black folks in a room trying to figure out how they move forward after this thing devastates them. In the opening of the play, it says “a Black family and extremists.” Like, that’s what the play’s about. How do we relate to each other? The world sort of doesn’t come inside of the space in this play. It’s about Black folks in a space together figuring it out and not in relationship to society or the political landscape or 2022, 2023… it’s timeless in a way because death will always be true.

Rail: Let’s talk politics. Let’s get into it. There were many incidents over the last three years and many of those incidents in the industry in some way involved We See You, White American Theater. This collective has attracted the likes of Tony Award winners, the Academy Award winners, the Broadway Elite and those on the rise… What was the intention behind that? Was there a litmus for that?

Gipson: I think that during the pandemic, we had a lot of time, right? I’ll say that a lot of people had things in the pipeline and the industry was chugging along. There was no reason for it to change. It was working. Then everything stopped and we had time to look at the way that things are going. Look at our industry for real, holistically, and I think a lot of us brown and Black folks saw that it's not working, not for us, and it hasn't been for a long time. We’ve been tokenized. So, in working alongside those organizations and those movements, I was trying to galvanize other brown and Black folks who felt similarly that the industry wasn’t working for us and we could do better. Like, especially in the theater.

The theater is different than film and television because it’s people in a room breathing the same air, there are people sharing space, right? And I’ve always wondered how we can do better at sharing spaces with one another; and I’m all about community. The theater for me has always been a community-driven space. So, I wanted this community to mean what it says! I do think that it's business as usual a little bit again, which is not concerning because I think that the theater is working the way that it was designed to work. Much like a lot of things in our society. Yes, we can push back on it, but if we don’t imagine new models—like completely new models—then the old models that we’re trying to reform are always going to try to revert back to the way they were working. Cause that’s how they were built to work. So, the momentum of some of these things, like We See You… there are several organizations, I don’t want to just point to that one… but I wonder what their role is now because things kind of feel like they’re back to normal. I mean, the seven Broadway shows that were Black-led that came right out of the pandemic, that’s a great thing. But they all closed pretty early. Even with Ain't No Mo… it’s not working. So what?

It’s not us, it’s not the Black creatives. Right? It's because we know these things that we’re trying to make it better and it’s not getting better. So, it feels like it’s the model. I don't know, I think we need to imagine bigger than we are even doing now. I think we need to think magically, we’re theatremakers, right? We deal in magical thinking. I think we need to do that more when it comes to the theater because right now we’re just trying to polish a turd a little bit, it feels like. [Laughs] Like, we know it doesn’t work. And we had all of this time to try to make it work and it’s still not working. I think of the Cleveland Play House incident that just happened. And I’m like, “How, after all of this time of listening and learning, did we come to this moment?” So, we have to think magically. We need to think bigger than I think we even know.

Rail: For our readers, what are some things that we need to really look at? You mentioned the seven shows that opened on Broadway in the fall of 2021: Pass Over by Antoinette Chinonye Nwandu, Lackawanna Blues by Ruben Santiago-Hudson, Chicken & Biscuits by Douglas Lyons, Thoughts of a Colored Man by Keenan Scott II, Trouble in Mind by Alice Childress, Clyde’s by Lynn Nottage, and Skeleton Crew by Dominique Morisseau. Since that time, shows like Jordan E. Cooper’s Ain’t No Mo’, the Broadway transfer of the Asian-led musical K-Pop, MJ: The Musical (also penned by Nottage) and Adrienne Kennedy’s Ohio State Murders opened and closed on Broadway. Not to mention, Michael R. Jackson’s A Strange Loop.

Gipson: And it won every single award it could possibly win; you know what I mean?

Rail: What are some things that we can look at in general for the field? Because this is a global issue affecting Black, Brown and BIPOC people on both sides of the pond. Using a bit of magical thinking, what are some concepts, machinations or ideas that could work?

Gipson: I think it starts with audience cultivation. Honestly. I think outreach is a huge thing that theaters don’t know how to do because they rely on their subscriber base. That's the truth. The subscriber base we know is mostly older white folks who have disposable income. Millennials don’t have disposable income. And like, I'm sorry, but to get a package at one of these off-Broadway theaters, or to go to a night at the theater and get a good seat, it’s expensive. Right? So there needs to be outreach to people who can't spend a hundred dollars or five hundred dollars or a thousand dollars on a package for a season. And we need to make it cool. Honestly, theater is not cool. It’s only cool when it’s like the hottest ticket in town, right? Right? We need to figure out a way to make theater accessible to people younger than the Boomers and to Millennials that don’t have disposable income. And it’s not gonna happen with one or two nights of Affinity Nights. It’s gonna happen by putting people on late night shows! I don't know. I’m not like a marketing person but to me, it feels like there’s a disconnect between what the theater is talking about. Because once people come see these plays and get talking, that’s where the change will happen. But you gotta get people into the theater and from what I’ve seen, it’s the same people. And yes, there’s Affinity Nights, and so you can go to a Black Theater Night or an LGBTQ Theater Night and see your community. But the truth of the matter is we’re either seeing it for the second time, or it’s because it's your community, you’re finally seeing those people, but they were gonna come to the show anyway.

Rail: Ain’t that the truth. So, you are trying to appeal to a particular audience. How would you market demons.?

Gipson: I don't know. That's interesting because I couldn’t go to churches, I don't think, and market this show in the same way that like Ain’t No Mo’ might be able to. I’m a professor, so I’m going to try and get young people to see this show. Young Black people because this show’s kind of weird. I like weird stuff. Weird Black shows can be successful too. Shows that are weird and Black… there's a place for them. A Strange Loop is weird to me. I’m like, that's cool. Passing Strange, things like that. How can we take Black surrealism, things that are a little left of center, but talk about being Black in a way that is just as valid as something that’s a little more straightforward.

Rail: You’ve grown exponentially as an artist, mostly because of just the nature of the beast. Where do you think the next stage of Keelay Gipson is going?

Gipson: I hope it is still in the theater. Actually, I know it is. I think I'm working on some musicals. I know I’m working on some musicals. I’m working on a new history play about Tulsa (because I’m from Tulsa and I haven’t written about being from Tulsa and being Black from Tulsa, and I think I should do that). So musicals, a play about Tulsa and hopefully, a film or a TV show.

Rail: And if you could bring any family member to see this show, who would you bring?

Gipson: I would bring my mother. Yeah, I would bring my mother. I kind of regret—I’ve told her to wait so many times to, you know, just wait until it’s the real thing. “Don’t come to the reading, just wait till it’s the real thing.” So, I would want her to see the real thing.

Rail: Pleasure to finally meet you, Keelay.

Gipson: No, this was lovely. Thank you. Thank you.

The Bushwick Starr and The Connolly Theater demons. May 20–June 10, 2023 Brooklyn

Contributor

Marcus Scott

Marcus Scott is a New York City-based playwright, musical writer, opera librettist, and journalist. He has contributed to Time Out New York, American Theatre Magazine, Architectural Digest, The Brooklyn Rail, Elle, Essence, Out, Uptown, Trace, Hello Beautiful, Madame Noire and Playbill, among other publications. Follow Marcus on Instagram.

#Keelay Gipson #KeelayGipson #Marcus Scott #MarcusScott #WriteMarcus #Write Marcus #Playwrights #Black Playwrights #Writers #Black Writers #The Brooklyn Rail #Brooklyn Rail

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marcholasmoth · 1 year

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OSRR: 3207

after bringing joel to work i went back to bed and passed out for another five hours. i did take the occasion to take my meds, though, at one point when i woke up during my sleep extension. so that was good.

i ended up playing games most of the day, but i also applied for like six jobs and eventually made my way home after i picked up joel and after we grabbed his meds from not cvs, but rite aid. i got some snacks and put a few applications together before heading home.

earlier in the day, i looked at my emails and i saw a response about a position i applied for yesterday that would've been perfect, and i opened it to see a "no thanks." the rsd makes rejection letters like that really difficult to handle. so i was pretty disappointed. like "it's another rejection. when will someone give me the chance to prove myself?" the answer feels like never. but i texted joel and he said it eventually feels less awful, but to not take it personally. so submitting a few more applications today helped me feel a little better about it, even if a little more hopeful for some other opportunity that may arise from it.

i came home to hot dogs with bad ketchup and baked beans with extra extra onions so i didn't really eat much. i sat and watched oak island with my mom for a while, but she eventually needed to sleep so i turned the volume down and kept watching with the subtitles on. of course the distraction requirement of the adhd kept me from really paying attention, but i've gotten to see some important points that i missed from not having seen entire episodes. i'm now only four or so behind.

but i gotta say, that out of the whole day and out of all of the things that happened, i'm glad that joel has been there to listen to me and support me. when i think about asking for advice, the first person i think of is joel. i think of people who i can trust and who would sit on the floor with me to think, and the first person who comes to mind is him. and i'm so so happy i have him, because i'd be pretty miserable without him and the influence he's had on me and my life. i'm a much happier person than i was before i met him.

i keep thinking about the things that have happened in the last six years since i started my masters degree. it's a lot. a lot of pain, a lot of sacrifice, a lot of opportunities that have been given up in hopes of something better, missed chances and better outcomes. i lost friends, i lost faith, i even lost the academic world i was in for a time - but i also worked toward and gained another degree, i made new friends, i found some faith in myself, i got diagnoses, i got on meds, i got a therapist, i went through a global pandemic only getting it twice, i've dealt with the loss of family members and jobs and what feels like pieces of my sanity, but i'm still here. i'm still me, but i'm better for all of it.

and that's a nice thing to know.

#molly rambles #operation srr #osrr #3000s #3200s #sunshine boy

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seasquared · 2 years

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In 2015, my dear friend Skyler Johnson introduced me to his "15 for 2015" playlist, which featured 15 songs released in 2015 that he liked. Skyler has always been my most disciplined friend when it came to tracking the things he liked. (Later, he would get a job at Spotify, where I believe he is still employed. I now blame every change to Spotify Wrapped on him, jokingly.) I took the concept and made my own "15 for 2015" playlist, and have been doing them ever since.

Last year's 21 FOR 2021 was subtitled "IT'S BEEN A LONG YEAR / HOW DID WE GET HERE?" which was a line from Audrey Nuna's mournful pandemic theme, "Long Year." 21 FOR 2021 also had Fred again…'s "Marea (we've lost dancing)", another thoughtful send-up of all the things the pandemic had changed for us during 2020/2021. 22 FOR 2022 is less obsessed with the pandemic and loss, even if it is subtitled "SONGS FOR WEIRD GOODBYES." In a way, is a song for a weird goodbye not also a song for a weird beginning? There are many artists here that I discovered for the first time this year: haer (my sad girl queen), Dry Cleaning (another in the line of wry female voices talk-singing drily over slow rock noodling), Gigi Cheung (cold city chick Cantopop, incidentally I love the late late night vibes of the music video for "Panda"), grandma (the only artist in this playlist who would and in fact did write the line, "when I was mourning my innocence you said 'LMAO'"). While this year may be the last I feature a song with MATTON's vocals (he was the lead vocalist for both Paellas, who showed up in 19 FOR 2019 and then disbanded shortly thereafter, and Pearl Center, who unfortunately also disbanded this year), it's also been rewarding to see artists I've loved for years (Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The National, Beach House) still making new music that I'm into. In some cases, like the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, they not only sound as good as I remember but more like themselves, like a whisky that's been aged to perfection.

An unexpected member of this group is Shamir. In 2014, right after I graduated law school and started working, Shamir came out with "On the Regular" which got regular play at a club that Skyler and I would frequent. While it owed a lot obviously to Azealia Banks' "212"(RIP), listening to it in 2022 feels like you're hearing the bones of what would eventually become hyperpop. "Stability" doesn't have that sort of futuristic vision, but it has a dark molasses richness to its vocals, Shamir's voice stretching out the vowels until they sound unfamiliar as he sings, "I know that life came fast at you / and you weren't ready yet."

Like many of my year end playlists, 22 FOR 2022 is more a memory box than a "best of the year" list. So while I genuinely love Djo's "End of Beginning," I have to admit I added it because 2022 was the year I left Chicago (again) and I couldn't resist a song whose chorus actually talks about bidding farewell to Chicago, in body if not in spirit. Same with Joji's "YUKON (INTERLUDE)." A low-key, sparse song that suddenly introduces Joji's own panting breath as a ghost over a kick drum, it's meditative and anxious the way my favorite Joji tracks are, a perfect slice of being stuck in someone else's head without any plea for you to understand him or help him. But I'd be lying if I told you I picked it for any reason other than the line, "Circles at the Chevron / I can't be forever young." In past years, I've added songs just for their adjacency to esports. This year I had the opportunity to hear Interpol play live in the most unexpected circumstance. They played "Mr. Credit" (my favorite track off their new album), but the high point was getting, finally, to hear "Slow Hands" live.

You could write a long, long time about 22 songs, so I won't talk about every one. I'll mention, however, the two and a half places where I cheated, because Tim Rogers once said that when you are writing something you should give yourself three wishes, or three times you can deviate from the script. Well, I'm NOT Tim Rogers (she says, in a Tim Rogers-esque voice), but I WILL give myself the occasional cheat. "Long Road Home" was originally written and released in 2020 by Oneohtrix Point Never. While Caroline Polachek's vocals are technically on that track, this version with just her voice is somehow a completely different song. The original feels insistent, the libido of a computer given a Greek chorus voice, while Polachek's solo version is balletic, like a cold wind turned into a single piercing high note. "Just to be Needed" was released last year, but on December 16, long after I had already made my 21 FOR 2021 list. I did love "Neon Memories" and "Light Left the Garden" from this year, but there is a catharsis in "Just to be Needed" that felt right for this year, especially on the tail end of "This is a Life," the big cinematic theme song to "Everything Everywhere All at Once." And Dremedreman's "Ngadan" was released in March 2021, but I didn't discover it or this collection of Taiwanese indigenous artists until this year. I loved both the song and music video for "Ngadan" so much that I pushed it on everyone in every platform I could, which means, of course, this one as well.

#music

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