#in the midwest i used to live near a soul food place but it was a bit of a drive to get there

[watermelinoe]

ohhhhh fuck i forgot abt sweet potato pie

[evilminji]

You know what would be both Cool(tm) AND Pants Shittingly Terrifying? Eldritch Space Whale Danny!

Except NOT! Because he's not a whale! Just snoozing and Giganto-Fuck-Off HUGE!

Imagine it! Danny. Joint Custody Child of The Ancients Of Time And Space. Space is SALTY AF because their BITCH OF AN EX has used his FUCKING POWERS, AGAIN, to CHEAT. Clockwork how DARE YOU.

You knew he'd be our Son in advance!

YOU SNUCK IN AND STARTING BONDING WITH OUR CHILD BEHIND MY BACK!

YOU [REDACTED]!

Danny? Sitting off to the Side as a Sentient Everything and Nothing made of galaxies and starlight, howls expletives at their Ex, who is being... REALLY snippy back? WOW, Clockwork. I mean, JESUS, man. Danny's from "oh bless their heart" Nowhere, Midwest. And even HE thinks that last one was both backhanded and cold af.

......he should take notes. *continues to eat his popcorn*

Anyway! APPARENTLY, Space Parent has taken him in the divorce. With much huffing. Tucked under their arm Like The Football(tm). And honestly? This is kinda hilarious, so he's cool with it. Byyyyyy~ Clock Dad! See you on weekends~☆!

*Exasperated Time Noises*

It's pretty cool! He learns a lot. Learns he's probably? Gonna be SOME variation of Space Ghost. Might even take over Space's... well, EVERYTHING, should the unforeseeable occur. So obviously, gonna have to learn The Family Business, as it were!

Which?

UNSPEAKABLY HYPED, YES PLEASE.

SPACE AND STAR STUFF! HECK YEAH!

Unfortunately? Still a Halfa. Bleh, squishy need to eat and sleep. Why they get in the way of Hyperfixation? Why no more space dust? Nooooo, don't drag him away from the controls! He can still learn! Sleep is for quitters! Cowards! *whining in Give Me Back My Blorbos, You Monsters*

But, no. He apparently has to "take care of his body" and "not burn out". Eat "real food". A protein bar counts! He probably ate one of those! Give him back his STARS! He doesn't CARE if he sounds like a toddler! That's DIRECT ACCESS TO THE SECRETS OF SPACE ITSELF! He'll BITE, so HELP HIM-! *Is scruffed like a cranky infant being carried off to beddy bye*

Injustice! D:<

But, none the less, body's require sleep. He shovles down his food, washes up, and flops down in his bed. In the nice lil cozy "Safe For My Half Apprentice Who Is Also My Adopted Son" corner. He passes out in that corner. Starts to float, as he has done countless times before, when agitated before bed. Floats OUT of that corner.

That Safe Little Corner.

IN THE CENTER, THE BEATING HEART OF SPACE.

You know... the place ALL OF SPACE connects too. Where Universe Form and Die. The Grand Recycler. Dust to Dust, from the ashes of old, to the creation of new. Where PORTALS are randomly assigned. So that the Omniversal Ectoplasmic Levels may always be balanced at near to perfect levels, allowing free flow of Souls through the various Reincarnation cycles.

Space, of course, doesn't MANAGE the Ectoplasm itself. Nor the Souls! Different Ancient for THAT, but they DO manage the PORTALS. We live in a SYSTEM after all. Everyone has their "departments" as it were. So really, it's quiet... Danny? Honey? Awful quiet back there! You, uh, fallen asleep, Starlight?

*empty room*

(O.O)

*inhale* AAAAAAAAAAA-!!!!!!!

Meanwhile! He be Snoozin'! And Ghostin'! Ghost Snoozin'! Is extra comfy, cause he weightless and got not booooones~☆!

But! He? Is not a child anymore! Has learned to... for lack of a better term, Let Go. To finally ACCEPT his Death. His inhumanity. His Amortality. Death no longer holds him, can no longer let him go. He is... not immortal. He is disowned, by his own doing and his own choice, at his timeless moment of Ending.

When Life let go of his hand and Death kindly offered theirs, he did not take it.

And that's okay.

It took awhile. Talking to older ghosts. Most vague and vast, near formless. Because it's... it's scary. And it's all you know. All, really, you've EVER known. Inherent to your identity, even after you leave that part you behind.

You are "human". "Martian" or "Xy'xeruian", something else, and you never question it. Even when you've left behind everything ELSE. Your name, your eyes, your history and skin. Yet you fly around and pretend. Still alive, still human.

But is that YOU?

Or just the form you found your start in?

And like? It's okay if it IS! Sometimes, yeah, you ARE. You look down deep and find a "don't know what you were expecting, buddy" sign stapled to a mirror. But more often? It's that last hurdle. The final step in Letting Go.

Everyone mourns at their own pace.

And they are the ghosts of who they were.

It helped. Mourning for the kid he was. Who was fourteen and wanted to be an astronaut. Who died and will never have a grave. The longer he exsists, for he can't technically be called Alive, the more painfully young that child seems.

It was okay.

To cry for Danny Fenton.

Then? To let him go. Let his memory, be memory. And his Past be the grave that child rests in. Loved dearly and remembered, but no longer binding his soul.

He doesn't have to wear that face anymore.

No tributes to the Dead.

He got? Kinda... BIG. Like REALLY big. Spiraling, serpentine, cracking ice, and burning galaxies. Like a fourth dimensional dragon, of ice and stars, somehow forcing its way into a three dimensional space. Atop it all, between two vast, impossible horns? Made of glacial ice coating the warping hearts of black holes, who's shape themselves seem to shift in unknowable ways? There burns, like comet trails, with super novas, compressed to decorative gems beneath glittering morning frost, a Terrible Crown.

He? Thinks? He MIGHT have wings.

He can't tell.

Because APPARENTLY he's a fuckin tesseract! Oh, no, sorry. He might me a Zone DAMNED PENTERACT!!! Is THIS what he gets for hanging out with Clockwork all the time? He just liked the quiet! Now his "true form" is PHYSICALLY PAINFUL for most people to look at!

Clock Dad WHAT THE HELL?!

(You see, now, why Space broke up with him? An ASSHOLE)

So! Danny stays, usually at least, in his "Hi, yes, I am Normal Human Man" Ghost form. But NOW? Now it PINCHS. Because it's TOO SMALL. But hey, that's fine! It's not like he has an ingrained habit of transforming when super tired and stressed! To float sleep for Maximum Restfulness(tm).

Ha ha!

Why does that feel like foreshadowing?

BECAUSE IT IS!

Danny? Snoozing! Space? Has LOST THE BABY! Portals? Have done a Jood Gob in Portalling, something they are vaguely sure they are supposed to be doing! Yay them! They have no brain cells but still enjoy helping! They moved a thing! That's helpful right? Yay! Probably!

And on DC's planet Earth?

They? Just choked on their fuckin coffee. One moment? La dee daa~ oooh~ look! Stars! Deep space! Oh, hiiii~ Watchtower! The NEXT? *every alarm in the building starts LOSING ITS SHIT* Giant World OBLITERATING SHAPE completely takes up the screen.

From near PLUTO.

There are NO WORDS TO DISCRIBE HOW FUCK OFF BIG THIS THING IS, MR. PRESIDENT. It will eat our nukes and LAUGH. Call! EVERYBODY!!!

Obviously? Superman. I mean really, OF COURSE Superman. Frankly, all the Supers. Because we would like to KEEP having a planet, thanks. Only? The more reports that come in? The more everyone is getting "oh fuck. This is a Workd Eater" vibes.

A massive, massive, Sleeping Titan of a Planet Destroying World Eater.

That MIGHT BE MAGIC.

*highly stressed Everyone noises*

And WORSE? Superman? Can't TOUCH it! Oh sure, at FIRST he could! But then he apparently pushed too hard in just one spot! And it felt POKED AT. So now, after flicking superman HALFWAY BACK TO EARTH to make him stop? No one can physically touch it!

But! There is hope!

Because? The creature is GREEN. Bright, luminous, Lantern Green! And Earth's Lanterns have already sent for back up. Combined? The were able to move a... hand? Paw? Something. But! With the combine forces of several nearby sectors of Lanterns? They promise the power to either relocate the creature or at least hold it in orbit until FURTHER forces can be deployed!

They refuse to harm the creature until it proves actively hostile, as it could have been seeking a place to nap and chosen one inconvenient to established planetary life. Frankly? Earth doesn't CARE where you relocate the giant Eldritch Space Dragon. Just NOT IN OUR BACKYARD, PLEASE.

....YES WE ARE SURE! We don't CARE if the scientific community of our planet is begging you to set up an area for them to place an "observation satellite"! No giant Eldritch Space Dragons in our solar system! It might WAKE UP!

Naturally, about half way THROUGH this Highly Delicate Operation?

Danny Wakes Up.

@hypewinter @hdgnj @lolottes @babbling-babull @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter @mutable-manifestation

[sailor-aviator]

Two Birds: Chapter One

Two Birds: Chapter One

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader x Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw

Summary: Growing up in the midwest meant that you weren't exposed to many of the dangers of the world, and it also meant that you missed out on some of what life had to offer. Taking a leap, you move to New York City with a few personal belongings and the little money you have left in your savings. You become good friends with your roommate and, by extension, the people at the club she works at. However, it isn't long until you catch the eye of not one, but two mafia bosses that rule the city with an iron grip. Will you stay out of their clutches, or will you give in and become another pawn in their wicked games? (Mafia!AU)

Content Warnings: Cursing, Mentions of guilt, Gentlemen's club (off hours), Flirting, Handsy Bradley and Jake, Pet names, no use of y/n. I think that's it, but please let me know if I missed something!

Word Count: 3.9k

Series Masterlist

A couple of weeks had passed, and you were now entering your third month of living in the city. Annie had been right, you had become fast friends after long nights spent gabbing about anything and everything, and late mornings after the previous night’s binge drinking. Your roommate was a fun, happy-go-lucky soul, and you loved her all the more for it.

Your job at one of the local bakeries near the heart of the city provided you with enough money for your portion of the rent, food, and enough to spend however you saw fit, a feat you still weren’t sure how you managed. Your boss was a lovely older woman in her mid-fifties who greeted you with a smile every morning as you clocked in for your shift. Thankfully, she preferred to do the early, early morning prep work herself along with her daughter, so you weren’t expected to walk through the doors until sometime around eight every morning.

You enjoyed the tediousness of the job, the routine giving you something to latch on to in the unfamiliarity of the big city. Annie had been coaching you diligently on how to navigate the never-ending, concrete streets and sprawling subways. Your Midwest manners were quickly stamped down by your burgeoning experience with the different crowds that inhabited the city.

“Don’t walk around at night by yourself if you can avoid it,” Annie had told you during your first week there, the two of you headed back to the apartment after you had decided to go out for dinner. “There are a bunch of crazies out here, Mousie. Me? I’m used to this place, but you got that air about you that just invites people to take advantage.”

You hummed, trotting a few paces to try and keep up with her much longer legs. She cast you a sideways glance with a grimace of an apology.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean anything bad by it,” she sighed, hands pushed into her pockets as she slowed slightly to give you a break. “You’ll perfect the art of the ‘don’t fuck with me’ vibe before you know it, Mouse.”

And you liked to think that you had come along way in the few weeks you had spent in the city, perfecting your mean, scary face so that people wouldn’t approach you. Some still did, but the number had certainly decreased. Though, you still felt the nagging feeling of guilt every time you outright ignored someone, averting your eyes and hanging your head as you walked a little faster down the street.

Today was a day you, thankfully, had off. Though, you still rose early, your body already used to the schedule of the bakery, and as you stretched in bed, your mind wandered to the container of chocolate chip cookies that sat on the counter in the kitchen. A gift from your boss, albeit they were cookies that would have been thrown in the trash anyway due to their age of only two days.

You lay in bed for the next half hour, dozing as the light of the day streamed in past your curtains, illuminating your still plainly decorated room. Annie had offered to take you shopping for more decor, but you had insisted on earning your own money and paying for your own decor.

“It’s not like I don’t have the extra cash, babe,” she told you, lips pulled back into a grimace as she watched you flit about the apartment.

“I’m serious, Annie,” you told her, glancing over your shoulder at her as you set the mop to the side. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate it, but I don’t want to take advantage of your kindness either.”

“How is it taking advantage if I’m offering?” She muttered with a scoff. You had shot her a warning look before placing your hands on your hips.

“I need to prove to myself that I can do this,” you sighed, feeling your shoulders slump.

“Alright, alright,” she relented, giving you an understanding smile. “But if I give you gifts, you have to accept them. It’s a law or something.”

You smiled fondly at the memory, pulling a pillow close to your chest, one of Annie’s many “gifts” as she called them. Your eyes flickered open with a stifled yawn before you lazily rolled over on to your feet. You padded out the door and down the hall to your shared bathroom, Annie’s soft snores filtering out past her closed door. Her job often kept her up until the early morning hours, and there were days where you were headed off to work just as she was walking through the door.

You brushed your teeth and got ready for the rest of the day, settling on a pair of faded jeans, a plain, white t-shirt underneath a beige cardigan and a pair of simple sneakers. You didn’t have much planned for the day, but you had been meaning to check out one of the bookstores downtown. Your groceries were getting low too, and you knew you’d have to go and get more soon, adding a trip to the grocery store to your list of things to do that day. You settled on the couch with a cup of tea, inhaling the aromatic steam that wafted up towards you as you turned on the TV, the news popping up to greet you. A string of violent crimes plagued the city, but you had slowly become accustomed to that news as well during your time there.

Eventually, you grew bored with the news, choosing instead to turn on the latest crime documentary from Netflix, the serious tones of the detectives and witnesses filling the quiet, morning air and lulling you back to a place somewhere between sleep and awake.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed when the sound of Annie’s door opening jolted you awake. You blinked, shuffling to sit up on the couch just as she trudged through the doorway, rubbing sleep from her eyes and looking around blearily.

“Wha’ time’s it?” She asked, voice thick with sleep as she rubbed her face. Her hair was sticking up every which way, her eyes still ringed with the tinges of last night’s makeup. You knew she must have had a particularly late night.

“Uh,” you started, glancing at the clock above the stove, “just before noon.”

“Shit!” She hollered out, eyes growing wide and panicked as she turned to sprint back into her room. You heard a commotion from her room before footsteps sounded in the hall, leading to the bathroom where the shower creaked to life, the spray hitting the tub. You sighed, hoisting yourself up off the couch to rinse your mug out in the sink. The shower didn’t run long, and soon you heard the creak of the valves turning off, soft thuds and movement coming from behind the door. Annie burst out, drying her hair furiously as she padded into her room wearing nothing but the small towel wrapped around her.

“Cannot believe I overslept,” she griped, her door closed just enough to provide herself some privacy as you waited in the kitchen.

“It’s a bit early for you to head down to the club, isn’t it?” You asked, brow furrowing. Usually, Annie didn’t head in for another couple of hours, and you heard her let out a huff as she appeared back in the kitchen dressed in a pair of jeans, fitted black top and matching heels. Even running late, she still looked immaculate.

“Bosses want us there extra early today to try out some new routines,” she explained.

“Bosses?” You frowned. “I thought your boss was Reuben?”

“He is,” she assured you, digging through her purse to make sure her keys were still inside. “But the big bosses are coming in today.”

“Who are the big bosses?” You asked, leaning over the counter. She paused, pressing her lips firmly together before giving you an uncertain look.

“No one you wanna get involved with, Mousie,” she said finally. “I mean, they’re nice enough guys, but…”

She trailed off, and the implication wasn’t lost on you. You offered her a tight smile, glancing at the stovetop clock once more before waving her off.

“You better get going before you’re even more late,” you warned, nodding to the time. She cursed again, shouting a quick “thanks” over her shoulder as she sped out the apartment, the door slamming closed behind her. You let out a sigh, rolling your eyes affectionately after her before grimacing at the apartment. Perhaps you would make it to that bookstore another time. For now, you settled on grabbing your own purse to go grocery shopping.

You had just made it back into the apartment when your phone buzzed. You settled the bags on top of the counter, your fingers aching with the strain of the multitude of bags before fishing your phone out of your bag. Annie’s name flashed across the top, and you quickly unlocked your phone before your eyes landed on the all too familiar words.

I forgot something at the apartment.

Could you grab it for me and bring it by the club pretty please? :(

You huffed out a laugh, typing out a quick response to let her know that of course you would bring whatever it was she forgot to the club for her.

You’re the best! Came her even quicker reply, and you just knew she had been pacing nervously backstage, biting her fingers in that terrible habit she had when she was nervous.

It’s a pair of silver heels and a hot pink boa. They should be on my desk chair. You can’t miss them!

You shook your head, noting how she herself missed them in her rush out the door this morning, but dutifully made your way to her room, pushing the door open as you stepped inside. Sure enough, the heels and the boa lay draped on top of the chair in question, and you quickly gathered them up in your arms to bring back into the kitchen. You grabbed your phone, firing off a quick reply.

I’ve gotta put groceries up really quick, but then I’ll head over. Give me about an hour?

Anything for you, Mouse! I owe you!

You laughed outright at that. This wasn’t an uncommon occurrence for your roommate, and you often found yourself making the trip down to the club to bring her something she forgot. You set your phone down and made fairly quick work of the groceries, storing the bags underneath the sink for later use. You grabbed your things before grabbing the heels and the boa, pausing to grab the box of cookies that still sat on the counter before making your way out the door and locking it behind you.

It was about a twenty-minute train ride to the neighborhood where Annie worked, and you exited the subway with a squint as your eyes readjusted to the daylight. You walked a block south, coming upon the familiar, unassuming building with a sign that read “Mach 10” in a deep red scrawl across the top of the entrance. A man dressed in all black stood by the door, his face mean and intimidating with eyes hidden behind a pair of dark sunglasses. You grinned up at him as you approached, and a hint of a smile pulled on his lips as he caught sight of you.

“Hey Tony,” you greeted, wiggling your fingers with the hand that held the heels and the boa. “How’s your day been?”

“It’s better now that you’re here, Mouse,” he chuckled, relaxing his posture somewhat. “I take it Annie forgot something again?”

“Yeah,” you shrugged, rolling your eyes playfully. “Name a time she hasn’t, you know?”

He laughed at that, his head resting against the brick of the building as he rolled his shoulders out.

“She used to tear out of here like a bat from hell before you came to town, ya know,” he grinned. “Wonder what she’s gonna do when you’re not around anymore to spoil her like this.”

“Well,” you started, “hopefully that won’t be for a while yet. Now, do you want a cookie before the others eat them all?”

“Thought you’d never ask,” he laughed, pushing off from the side of the building to peek into the box you held in your hand. He grabbed one, taking a bite and humming as you walked past him and into the building.

When you had first found yourself stepping into Annie’s work, you had been apprehensive, expecting a seedy, little hole in the wall with sticky floors and tacky decor. Instead, you were greeted with a clean, sultry business that Annie told you had earned a reputation of being the best in the city.

“It’s actually pretty classy,” she had told you when you first asked her about what she did for a living. “It’s a lot of high end clients that frequent there, and they tip pretty well too. It’s decent pay to begin with and the manager is a pretty good guy too.”

You had met Reuben on one of your first trips to the club, the handsome man not being at all what you expected from a manager. He was young, for one thing, hovering somewhere between mid-thirties and forty if you had to guess. He was dressed to the nines every time you saw him, a friendly smile always on his face as he greeted you. He was nowhere to be seen now as you strolled into the Hard Dark, voices filtering out from different areas of the large room and from backstage as your eyes swept the area.

There were no windows, the only lights coming from the artificial ones that hung overhead. The main color was black, a red carpet curving across the floor and red drapes hanging from off the walls with gold accents placed everywhere. It gave a feeling of old Hollywood, almost.

“There you are!”

You turned just as Annie rushed over to you, pulling you in for a tight hug. She pulled away, grabbing her heels and boa from you.

“You’re a lifesaver, Mousie!” She beamed, and you waved her off.

“I wasn’t doing much anyway,” you told her, shifting the box of cookies into your now free hand. “I brought the cookies too for everyone.”

“You’re so sweet, babe. Come hang out with us for a while,” she cooed, pulling you further towards the main stage. Familiar faces of the different staff greeted you as you walked through, several waving and others following you once they spotted the bright pink box in your hands. You often brought goodies from the bakery, making you an instant hit with the employees at the club.

“What did you bring for us today, Mouse?” Bryan, one of the bartenders called.

“Cookies!” You called back with a smile.

“You’re such a godsend, hun,” said Lindsey, one of the other dancers. “I never have time to go to this place before it closes.”

“One of the perks of being roomies with an employee there,” Annie grinned at her, swiping a cookie as you set the box down on the stage and opened the lid. Several others clambered toward the stage to snag a cookie before retreating and allowing the next wave in. You were so caught up in the conversations happening around you that you didn’t notice the figure come out from the back.

“What’s going on here?” A deep timber asked. You noticed Annie stiffen visibly beside you before turning your head to look at the newcomer. He was tall, brown hair curled against his forehead that pointed towards a pair of golden brown eyes. Scars littered the golden skin of his face, and you couldn’t help but notice the strong muscles that lay hidden beneath his dress shirt. Your lips twitched at the sight of the mustache that hung above his upper lip, but you quickly tamped it down as you took in the nervous faces around you. He swaggered over towards where you stood, the small crowd parting easily for him, and you had to tilt your head back just to meet his gaze.

“Shouldn’t you all be working?” He pointed out. His voice was light, playful even, but the underlying warning in his tone was palpable, and all but Annie and yourself hastened to get away. You swallowed slightly, shifting uneasily at the change in the atmosphere. Annie stood still next to you, not saying a word which was unlike her.

“And who might you be?” He asked, leaning against the stage with a smirk. “Think I would have remembered a pretty face like yours. You lookin’ for a job, hm?”

“She’s my roommate,” Annie replied before you could say anything. “She’s just stopping by to drop off a few things I forgot is all.”

“Is that so?” The man hummed, peeling his eyes away from you long enough to cast her an unreadable look before they shifted back to you. “So you’re the little mouse Reuben mentioned pops by from time to time, huh?”

“I guess,” you muttered, fingers playing with the hem of your shirt as you looked anywhere but at him. You felt his smirk grow as he leaned into you, his nose almost brushing yours in the process. You squeaked at the sudden proximity, eyes widening as the smell of his cologne encircled you, the scent of sandalwood, vanilla, and something woodsy ensnaring you as he spoke.

“My name’s Bradley, Mouse,” he murmured, lips curling into a sultry smile as he laced a finger through the loop of your jeans. “You gonna give me a taste?”

You had the distinct feeling that he wasn’t talking about the cookies that still sat on the stage. Without thinking, you grabbed the box, bringing it between you and Bradley, putting some distance between the two of you enough so that you could try to scramble for a coherent thought.

“Here,” you squeaked. Bradley looked stunned for a second, brown eyes wide as he looked from you, down towards the box. There was a moment of still silence before he tossed his head back with a loud laugh, one that caused several people nearby to jump. He looked back at you with a wicked grin, taking the box from your hand and putting it back on the stage with an added chuckle. He grabbed your waist, pulling you flush against him and bringing a hand up to cradle your face as he leaned down, his breath fanning over you.

“I might just have to keep you, honey,” he purred, eyes hooded as he drank you in. Your face warmed at the combination of his words and his hand around your waist that slowly started to wander.

“What are you doing, Rooster?”

You jumped at the new voice, turning your head with a gasp as your eyes landed on the stranger standing next to Reuben. His square jaw was clenched in what you could only assume was annoyance, narrowed, green eyes moving from Bradley down to you. His face softened slightly, brow arching as he took you in. You thought you saw his lips twitch in the hint of a smirk before neutrality settled over his features once more.

“Hey, Mouse!” Reuben greeted, his friendly demeanor almost unnerving. He acted as if you weren’t being held captive in the arms of a strange man, instead looking from you towards where Annie stood behind you. “I didn’t know you were stopping by today.”

“Annie forgot something,” you offered weakly, breath still ragged from how close Bradley still held you.

“Rooster,” the blond man spoke up, his voice commanding attention, “you’re scaring the poor thing. Why don’t you let her go?”

Bradley grunted but let you go slowly, shooting you a wink as you backed up a couple of steps. The blond man stepped forward, hands shoved into the pockets of his expensive looking pants as a slow smirk crawled onto his lips.

“So you’re the little mouse we’ve heard so much about,” he drawled, stopping just in front of you. You shrugged, not saying anything as you averted your gaze. The man arched a brow at you, taking a hand out of his pocket to place a finger underneath your chin, lifting it so that you met his emerald gaze.

“Words, darlin’,” he purred, something twinkling in his gaze as you looked at him. You swallowed thickly.

“Yes,” you replied, earning a hum. The man’s finger traced along your jaw before his hand cupped the side of your neck gently, almost possessively.

“Good girl,” he praised, and something inside of you unexpectedly preened at the words. He leaned forward, the smell of patchouli and a hint of citrus hitting your nose at the movement. His lips brushed against your ear as he murmured, “my name is Jake.”

A shiver ran up your spine, and you felt his lips curl into a grin at your reaction.

“Shouldn’t we be getting back to business?” Bradley snapped, looking put out as Jake withdrew from you. The blond snorted with a roll of his eyes as he stepped back towards his companions.

“Since when do you give a shit?” He asked, the challenge hollow as he kept walking, Reuben quick to fall in line behind him. Bradley frowned as he watched Jake walk past, a muscle twitching in his jaw. His eyes looked back at you, lips curving in a thoughtful smile before shooting you a wink and following his two companions.

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding, Annie coming up behind you quickly.

“I am so sorry,” she cried, blue eyes big and sorrowful.

“Why are you sorry?” You asked with a snort, brushing your hands down your rumpled shirt. “They’re the ones who’ve never heard of personal space, apparently.”

“Babe, do you not realize who they are?” She asked, brow furrowing as she studied you, lips pursing as she shook her head.

“Of course you don’t,” she muttered, placing a hand on her forehead as she sucked in a breath. “God, I’m so fucking stupid sometimes. How could I forget to tell you one of the most basic things?”

“Annie, what are you talking about?” You asked, crossing your arms as a sinking feeling came over you. Her eyes snapped open as she looked at you with an uncharacteristically solemn expression.

“There’s a lot more to this city than you realize,” she told you. “There are groups always grabbing for power and control of it, and right now there are two who are going head to head: the Daggers and the Harpies. You just met the two men who are in charge of the Dagger syndicate, Mouse: Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin and Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw. ”

Your heart sank, and your head involuntarily whipped around towards where the group of men walked off to. You spotted them sitting in one of the booths, Reuben talking animatedly about something or other, but your stomach did a flip as you realized that both Jake and Bradley were already looking at you. The blond arched a brow at you while the brunette waggled his fingers at you with a playful smirk. Annie followed your gaze, sighing before continuing.

“And it looks like you’ve gone and caught their eye.”

A/N: Thought we might take a quick break from talking about Angel!Jake and go back to Mafia!Jake and Mafia!Bradley, and they're finally here! What do we think of them from our first meeting? As always, reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated. If you would like to receive updates on when I post, please follow my sideblog (@sailoraviator-library) and turn on post notifications! You can also find my works on AO3 under the username sailor_aviator. Until next time!

[diary-ofsorts]

There was a house about a half mile away from my dad’s that had a beautiful garden.

We lived about two miles from the beach, almost a straight shot from his house to the shore. The neighboring houses in this area were quietly huddled together, rarely showing signs of life except during the hottest peak of summer when the beaches were crowded. I spent most of my childhood wondering this quiet area, enjoying the hills, the hidden creeks, the winding roads, the mosquitos and fireflies, the solemn deer that would wonder so near to you, you’d have to hold you breath lest they hear the slightest sound and bolt. This was how I spent those long, muggy summers.

This was a house that I passed almost every day. It was along the main road, on a corner at a four-way stop, though the stop signs were mere ghosts of what they were, the color and words long ago sun bleached and the signs themselves bent and warped from the Midwest summer heat and frigid winters.

The house had a wide driveway, unpaved, and because it sat on a corner it had optimal real estate that wasn’t normally available in this area. What was so unique about this house was that it had a large garden, nearly circling the entire house, complete with a bubbling fountain, statues, and many flowers, trees, and bushes. An oasis. It was beautiful. Unlike anything I had ever seen. In my mind it was reminiscent of The Secret Garden - though it was no where near the size or mystery. While on these adventures I would often stop and marvel at the beauty of it, though I never dared to go further than the edge of the road.

When I was 9 years old, my best friend and I were spending a day out of our endless summer exploring, looking for adventure. We decided to go to the beach, even though my dad had said we were too young to go on our own, that the water was too dangerous and the walk was too long. We knew better than to go into the water, but we were so restless in our familiar surroundings and the temptation was too strong. We passed the house on our way.

We stopped to admire the garden, just as I had a hundred times before. We hadn’t realized someone was watching us. When an older man with visibly graying hair stepped out from the front porch, we shyly waved hello and complimented his garden. I explained that I lived nearby and passed it often. He told us it’s history - that it had been a years-long project, in which he had sunk a large amount of money into. He pointed out the different types of greenery, the large fountain, the serenity it created by encapsulating his home - all the things I had always admired most about it.

Then he mentioned that he had finally installed a hot tub, around the corner on the other side, just out of our line of sight. My friend and I anxiously rose to our tip-toes, trying to peer over the mass of bushes and flowers to where he was vaguely pointing to. He said that he was going to throw parties this summer in his hot tub, describing large crowds with music and food and dance. It was unheard of in this quiet area. It sounded exciting.

He stepped closer. “I sure hope I see you two around for these parties.” He looked us both up and down. Licking his lips, he smiled warmly. “You’re both such pretty little things. We could have a lot of fun together. Would you like to come take a look?”

My friend and I nervously glanced at each other. I felt frozen in place. The mood of our conversation had just dramatically shifted, though at the time we didn’t know how. He didn’t seem like a sweet old man with a pretty garden anymore. He stepped closer to us again, hand outstretched, inviting us in. I began to stutter a response, a short of sheepish explanation, and there was a momentary pause before my friend grabbed my hand and pulled me to her and we ran, as fast as we could, so fast it felt like we were flying. We ran that remaining mile all the way to the beach and collapsed into the sand, laughing to shed off the lingering fear. The waves crashed into the windswept shore. We were safe.

For years after that, every time I passed that house I would run as fast as my legs would carry me, just as I had that night. I was scared he would be outside, waiting for me, waiting to invite me back into his hot tub. Licking his lips, hands outstretched. To this day when I drive past that house to the beach, that sinking feeling is still there. That feeling that we very narrowly missed a horrible and tragic moment in that sacred garden, with that old man.

My friend and I were lucky. We were afraid, and we ran, and we never told a soul about it after. Perhaps it was out of fear of repercussion for walking to the beach when we were sternly told to avoid, perhaps because we hadn‘t understood the gravity of what we had encountered.

And for a long time after that I tried to reason and excuse why he may have acted that way. Maybe it was all innocent. Maybe I was reading the situation wrong. Maybe he thought that we were older, that we were.. what? 15? We were children. Flat chested, skinny legged, wild haired and freckled. We looked like children, wearing our cut-off jean shorts and walking barefoot in anticipation of the velvety sand we had been forbidden to touch.

Maybe I am mistaken, after all these years, and he wasn’t as threatening as I remember.

But then I wonder.. what reason would a grown man want two 9 year old girls to come see his hidden hot tub for?

[galadrieljones]

Fic Meme!

Rules:  Post the first line of your last 10 published fics, and see if you notice a pattern. Then tag 10 people. 

tagged by @idrelle-miocovani and @a-shakespearean-in-paris. thank you!!

Tbh, I’m not sure what my last 10 fics are lol. I’ve been working on long fics for so long. I’m just going to go down the line, my last ten published fics on AO3. 

1. The Lily Farm (Red Dead Redemption 2, Arthur x Mary Beth) 

It was morning, and the sun was creeping, and he was on his third cigarette with his hands in the soil, picking thyme flowers. They grew like wild out here. He had removed his gloves and set them back on the saddle where Sarah shuffled against the brush, her big hooves. He took enormous comfort in the sounds of her hooves.

2. Yours, Sadie Adler (Red Dead Redemption 2, Arthur x Sadie)

Sometimes Sadie Adler looks back, but not often. When she is making her home in a good town. Blackwater. Valentine. She knows the bartenders who rent her rooms on a discount tab. They make good conversation. She smokes and plays solitaire or else she folds paper into delicate animal shapes like her mother used to show her. 

3. Zero (Horizon: Zero Dawn, Aloy x Nil)

Sometimes, she would meet him in cold places. By accident, always. Though lately it had begun to feel like providence. He had a penchant for boozing hard in the evenings, but he was well-spoken even still. He knew a great deal about history and about the Mad Sun-King. A soft and melancholy drunk, he told good stories until he had too much. 

4. The Dead Season (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Lavellan x Solas)

There had been a time when running came naturally to Solas. When it was all he had. As a boy, and as a young man. Before the Veil, in Arlathan, and now, after. When he would fling himself into oblivion and never look back. Reckless, unwilling patience. In this sense, he was just like Sene. So much like Sene. He never knew.

5. Nature Sounds (The Last of Us)

They were somewhere in the flat, endless brown expanse that was the Great Plains, USA. Joel had hot-wired a car back in New Castle, PA, and together they drove on the lonely I-80 all the way through the midwest, not taking a break till they reached the smack middle of Nebraska. They found a Wal-mart in a city called North Platte, and it was such a bum-fuck empty place that there were still cans of food and bottles of liquor on the shelves. They decided to spend the night. It was amazing. Ellie wanted to live here forever. They hadn’t seen a clicker in near on thirty miles.

6. Joel’s Birthday (The Last of Us)

One day, while out foraging for supplies with Maria in a little truck stop city about fifteen miles from the plant, Ellie discovered a small bulk supply of coffee beans in sealed packaging, hidden away in the dusty corner of an old locked trailer unit of a semi-truck. The weather was warm, and the air smelled like lavender. It was very early summer. Getting into the trailer, they’d had to use bullets, which drew the attention of a couple clickers in a dilapidated gift shop nearby, but Maria was good with traps and she lit them on fire with ease.

7. Last Call (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Lavellan x Ameridan)

She went back to the Frostback Basin because it was pretty. The pinks and the purples and the sharp angles in the trees. It was like being inside of a fucked-up prism. The jig was over, and Sene was bored deep in her bones, and she felt like she was shaking from the inside out. Every part of her. Vibrating and yet fixed to the earth. No matter how hard she tried, she could not cut enough of her ties to the Inquisition. 

8. Unsigned (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Lavellan x Solas)

She was a blue mystery. She lived alone in a cottage on a hill, and nobody ever saw her but the people who she cared about, the people she allowed. All the kids called her the Witch of the Outskirts, because she had a strange, molten, magical arm, and her hair was always knotted in the back of her head with a piece of vine, and she did not speak much, and this made her seem crazy.

9. Teen Wolf (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Solas x Ghilan’nain)

It was a blue sundown. He could usually be found at the center of the city, behind the Great Gate where he performed his penny magics. Crystal, cool. The city streets were loud, and everything smelled like beer. He was no one, and yet, so tall. He smoked constantly as if to daze his audience. Little groups moving in and out. A small boy tugged at his pant leg, once. Solas glanced down at him, a quiet smirk.

10. Clockwork (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Solas x Mythal)

Mythal had been standing over by the bed when he got to her chambers. It was not an invitation. She looked nervous. Bird bones. Her brown hair straight and discarded from the evening. She was holding a heavy, wooden clock from the mantle, still in her gown from the party, this black, shimmery thing that spread out at the bottom like a fin. 

Pattern: I tend to start with setting, in some way, and/or a very active introduction to key character traits, which then set the tone for the whole piece. My newer fiction also tends to be more grounded in its prose. I have drifted away from more ornate prose in this past year as I’ve also gotten back to realism (where my heart essentially lives).

tags for @thevikingwoman @bearly-tolerable @buttsonthebeach @ellstersmash @wardsarefunctioning @morgan-arthur @lyrium-lovesong @roguelioness @ladylike-foxes @ocean-in-my-rebel-soul <3

[bleedpure]

         mark lee vc: LEZ GEDDIT   !   i’m al or ally, i’m nineteen, i’m in the cst timezone aka the midwest, so u know what that means   !   it sucks   !   i don’t even know how to transition out of that. i’m so bad at talking about myself, so i think we’re just gonna not do that.......   we’ll talk about seulki instead, which i can assure u he’s 100% more interesting than i will ever be   !   u can find his info under the cut and if u wanna plot hit that like button and i’ll come to u or u can hit me up on d*scord  ( which i would love tbh bc it’s easier than tumblr ims )  @ the jonas brothers did that#7625.   okay, onto the intro   !

- ̗̀✰ • 【 LEE MINHO, CISMALE, HE/HIM 】 ❝ did you see KIM SEULKI on the train back to hogwarts? they’re a HALF-BREED (VAMPIRE) in their THIRD year as a TWENTY year old RAVENCLAW. apparently they’re the ENIGMA around the grounds; most likely because they give off an aura of DROPLETS OF CRIMSON LIQUID DRIPPING OFF PEARLY WHITE FANGS, FORM FITTING JEANS THAT HUG JUST THE RIGHT SPOTS, HEART SHAPED LIPS CURLING INTO A DEVILISH SMILE, THE FEELING OF A PIANO PLAYING EERILY IN THE ROOM NEXT DOOR. of all the social media platforms, they’re definitely most obsessed with their INSTAGRAM; probably because they’re ELOQUENT, but also MANIPULATIVE. however, on the new manifest app in mr. carlos’ english class, they’ve already managed to anonymously steal the username: BLOODLUST. 

ALSO   !   if u want a better look at him, u can check out his pinterest board here  ( follow me too that’d be so sexy of u )   ! 

information.

i’m gonna just do this in bullet points bc i’m lazy and have had a really long week so if it’s choppy.... i am so sorry u are just gonna have to deal w it KMSKSMK

seulki was born in seoul, south korea to a kang insoo, a wizard man, and kim eunbin, a vampire woman, seulki himself being her first born

he doesn’t remember much of his own father, the only image he has of him is his bloodied corpse after his mother ripped his throat out when he was five years old

she was a cruel woman is what he had learned from that moment on

most half-breeds are misunderstood creatures, but the kim line of vampires were the monsters they told u abt in horror stories, the ones that hid under ur bed and took u from ur room in the depths of the night

being descendants of vlad the impaler, yes he really was a vampire!, had death and destruction lacing through their veins, darkness and deceit wrapping around their bodies

growing up, he watched his mother give birth to three more children, all of which were full fledged vampires, unlike himself

at first, he never let it bother him, he was raised up to be a vampire, to let the magic gene within him go dormant. he fed off humans and shed the blood of other’s with the influence of his mother, but even being her puppet was never enough for her

secretly, she had always resented her falling in love with a wizard, a human, someone that wasn’t of their own kind. because she did actually fall in love with him, only to be blindsided by her own family, a powerful clan of vampires pulling who she was and who she had always been out of her

because of the resentment matted in between her bones, the anger and frustration of her family ruining her life, of insoo ruining her life, she began to see the human traits within seulki even more often than not, creating a drift and a barrier between the two of them

seulki was the eldest brother, the one who took it upon himself to help raise them, to protect them, to never let their bright souls be diminished by the thought that they were monsters. they loved him and he loved them, but his mother didn’t like that

she didn’t like how they cared for each other because they cared for each other  more than they cared for her. she was selfish, wanting the love she never was able to receive, wanted to feel smth for all that she didn’t

his mother hadn’t been fond of him for a while, only using him to do her bidding and while him and his siblings got closer and closer, she got angrier, knowing that they were each others’ heartbeats and she wasn’t included in that

so because of her selfish and deranged nature, she wanted to eliminate her younger children to cause torment to seulki. ganging up on the children one night with the intent to kill them, but she didn’t get as far as she wanted to

she severely injured her second oldest, giving a few scratches the the other’s before seulki came in, eyes black and charging towards his mother. it was a bloodbath after that, the two youngest pulling their sister to safety as they called for seulki

their cries and calls snapped him out of his loss of humanity and in front of him was his injured, but not dead mother unconscious. it was then that he took his chance, packing whatever he could that was valuable and fled with his siblings

they spent time spent a long time running, bouncing from city to city more bloodshed falling onto seulki’s hands to protect the only people he held dear to him and he would do anything for them.

he struggled a lot actually with maintaining his humanity as it would slip from time to time due to the trauma even if he had his siblings to tether him down. at some point, seulki, while strong, felt himself getting exhausted from being on the run and it was when they’d found themselves in scotland being found by hagrid of all people offering seulki a place at hogwarts and his siblings a place in his hut

at first, seulki declined, not fully trusting the man with his siblings even though he would be right in the castle near by. but, after some thought and the push of the second oldest, they accepted the offer and seulki’s been attending hogwarts since he was eighteen and his siblings have found a residence with hagrid

tidbits.

he ages like a normal human up until he’s twenty-one when he quits aging and begins the phase of immortality.

seulki can and will drink blood to survive, but if he goes without it it’s not detrimental to him until he quits aging altogether which means he can eat regular food, he actually quite enjoys it.

he has fangs, he can go out into sunlight, but not for an excessive amount of time or he’ll get a rash. seulki does have inhuman speed and strength, but nothing overpowering u know? when he loses his humanity, his eyes go full black and when the vampire takes him over, his eyes are red, and his regular eye color is brown.

losing his humanity means he loses his heartbeat, most of the time either due to losing the things or people that make his heart beat or from intense and severe anger or negative emotions such as the like. though, it can be voluntarily done as well by switching it off  ( kind of like tvd . . . fucking disgusting ). but, seulki being only half-vampire has an easier time, unlike his siblings, to regain his heartbeat back and for his humanity to fluctuate when it’s lost because of his human side. his siblings are his heartbeats actually, so that’s where the intense need to protect them comes from as well as just being their brother.

seulki is a Big Bi   !   loves it fucking all.

he’s not super great at magic since his magic gene was pretty dormant until he came to hogwarts, so he’s pretty much just skirting by at this point.

his siblings mean the world to him, he would do absolutely anything for them and wouldn’t let a single person harm a hair on their heads. but   !   no one knows they exist, though i’m sure if there were special people in his life they might   !

while he sleeps around a lot . . . he’s a secret romantic. he’s always wanted to find love, but it way too terrified of it. 

oh yeah he has a blood kink............ that’s important ig

personality.

seulki is definitely an interesting person. he’s wise and intelligent, having been through a lot in his life. he’s eloquent and good with his words, most would call him honey-tongued because of how he can persuade almost anyone to do what he says. seulki is kind of a dick or well, like a suave dick. he’s charming and flirty, his signature is a smirk and like arms crossed as he leans against a doorway u know? seulki is uh. how do i put this? kind of a whore. he doesn’t tend to care about others which is deep rooted in the fact that he’s never felt real love . . . his own mother hated him to the core. he’s overprotective of the people he cares about and will do absolutely anything for them. he’s an ass if i didn’t mention that before, it’s to protect himself and his siblings from ever being hurt again because he’s so terrified of letting people in for them to just tear him down in the process. he’s guarded and u never know what he’s thinking because he doesn’t show it on his face or let u know. UH I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY MY BRAIN DOESN’T WORK............ he’s p manipulative............. uh he cares a lot. but deep down and he doesn’t want ppl to know that........... he’s definitely a Big Brother type when he cares abt u, makes sure u’ve eaten, makes sure ur warm and are comfortable....... yeah idk that’s it i’m done

wanted plots.

A HEARTBEAT   !   — whether platonic or romantic, this would be someone who, just like seulki’s siblings, makes his heart beat thus keeping his humanity in check, they would be a WHOLE, WHOLE lot to him. 

A TUTOR   !   — as i mentioned earlier, seulki isn’t super well versed when it comes to magic, he’s not very good at it and it’s hard for him to navigate sometimes, so having someone to help him get his mf grades up would be lovely !

AN EX   !   — obviously, this didn’t go down well because seulki is terrified of commitment and people getting close to him. it could play out in so many ways, so if it sparks ur interest we can chat !

A ROOMMATE   !   — so which sucker is gonna have to live with the vampire who has a blood kink ?

A BEST FRIEND   !   — obviously this is pretty self explanatory, this would be someone that seulki trusts with probably his life and they mean a lot to him, even if he’s bad at showing it.

LOVE/HATE   !   — bruh give me that good shit. these two can’t stand each other, but because of that it’s formed some sort of fondness where if anyone is messing with the other they’re like who tf are u that’s my job   !

A BAD INFLUENCE / GOOD INFLUENCE   !   — self explantory . . . someone be a good influence for seulki and let him be a bad influence for someone else.

AN UNREQUITED CRUSH   !   — my friend gave me the idea to maybe have someone have a cute little crush on seulki . . . and i was like but that’s SO sad........ then i was like u know what i love pain so here we are........ also could be requited we shall see   !

FUCK BUDDIES, FRIENDS/ENEMIES WITH BENEFITS, FLINGS   !   — i’m just getting lazy at this point to explain this shit . . . fuck him, let him fuck u he’s a true vers my friends.

OTHERS   !   — cuddle buddy, old friends, confidant, rivals, skinny love, annoyances, a brother/sister type of relationship, and if there’s anything else we can just vibe   !   tbh we don’t even have to do anything from this list, whatever fits the muses, these are just ideas   !

[vfenrirsv]

You can fit everything you know

In a bottle for you to show

Pick your brain apart and put it in

And build it again with needles and pins

For too long I haven’t been making myself a priority and I have been drowning, badly. I just feel heavy, like I have the weight of this entire relationship on my shoulders, like I am the only one worrying about if we are okay or good or if we’re even getting along. When was the last time we even had a conversation that was more than a hello or goodbye as we pass each other in the living room? I feel like I have to be the happy one, the responsible one, the adult in this partnership. And I am so very, very, tired. You haven’t even noticed, have you? There are so many things that I want to do in this life, and there are no many places that I want to see, new music I want to hear, new food I want to taste. I used to think that you would be right there beside me while I chased my dreams and followed what I feel is best in me and what satisfies my soul; but now, with the comments you make and the things you decide not to do, and the flagrant disregard for things that I consider important, I am not so sure.

Everything you have earned is a ship

With blue waves crashing into it

But nothing can touch your happy thoughts anymore

With your glass ceiling, walls, and floor

I don’t want to live in this state anymore. I don’t even know why I thought that moving out here would be good for me in the long run, but it has swiftly become obvious that I am not interested in anything out here. What is there to explore? The desert stone canyons to the West, far enough away to be Colorado? How about the hot springs to the South East, so far away as to be Arkansas? I need to live in a place that brings me joy by simply being a place where I can get out into nature and breathe a sigh of relief on days when my brain is moving too fast for my body. I want to live in Washington, Oregon, Montana, Nevada, Arizona, or Florida. The Midwest does nothing for me. These farmlands and flat prairies feel open and empty and lonesome. I need the ocean or the desert or the wild woods to soothe my soul. I’m not finding that here, and you don’t seem to care. I do.

Sailing on a ship in a bottle

Anchor all your thoughts to the bottom

Pulling ropes and pulling your head back

To see what is breaking the foremast

I want to pursue a job in my field. I want to be able to gather evidence, test samples, and work with a department lab. I have studied for years to get a job in my field and I am going for it. I have the brains and the drive, why should I say no? If I get offered a job out of state I am going to take it. I am going and you cannot stop me and I don’t even care anymore what you think or want or feel. You say that you are family oriented and want to stay near your parents and brothers and all of your hundreds of extended family members – but I think you’ve forgotten that you are supposed to be my family as well. My familial needs matter. It’s not all about you and I am so tired of you using your family as an excuse as to why you would never consider following me out of state in support of me. Not once when I have brought up moving out of state to find a job in my field have I asked to you abandon or cut your family out of your life; but that is how you act. You act as if moving out of the county we live in is tantamount to you being ripped from your family and being forced into solitude. It’s dramatic and childish and selfish. You’re not the only one with family. It’s not all about what you want.

You set sail alone there is no crew

No one on the deck who can help you

This is all your own battle to win

This is your ship and you are the captain

I don’t want this house. I don’t want these dogs. I don’t want his furniture. I don’t want this stuff. I should have been more firm with you in my expectations and opinions about what I wanted and needed out of this relationship. There are so many things that I have compromised on in order to make you happy and help you achieve your dreams that I have gone ahead and compromised myself into a noose. I am flagrantly unhappy here with all of this clutter and mess and dysfunction that I cannot seem to keep a handle on by myself. I expected you to help me keep everything under control and in order and pleasant; but you’ve made it blatantly obvious that you have no intention of starting any time soon. You don’t keep things clean, you don’t vacuum or treat the carpets, you won’t go thru your belongings in the garage, you won’t hand wash dishes; I could go on and on: you don’t do what you say you’re going to do. And I’m over it. I’m over you.

Oh, captain, let's make a deal

Where we both say the things that we both really feel

I feel scared and I'm starting to sink

And I only sink deeper the deeper I think

Oh, captain, Oh, captain, deal, Oh, captain, deal, Oh woah~

I don’t want to be with someone who won’t be intimate with me. I don’t want to be with someone who spends more time on their phone, or watching telly, or playing video games than they do talking to me about their day, their dreams, their wants or needs. I don’t want to be with someone who won’t explore the world with me. I don’t want to be with someone who refuses to engage in confrontational or uncomfortable conversation about things that matter, things that partners should face and conquer together. I don’t want to be with someone who won’t support me with all of their heart the way I do for them. I don’t want to be with someone who won’t keep their word, doesn’t follow up or follow thru. I don’t want to be with someone who won’t take care of themselves. I don’t want to be with someone who continually says “these things take time” when I talk about building our lives together. We’re in our life. Right now. I shouldn’t have to needlessly wait to build memories, build a home, or build a family with the person I fucking married. I don’t want to be with someone who sees the loneliness and sadness in me and says nothing at all.

There are red spots under your eyes

From when you cry into the sky

Ocean waters rising above your neck, mmm

You feel the glass start to crack

I don’t want to be a prisoner in my own life anymore. I feel trapped in this relationship. I feel guilty about wanting to leave and follow my heart and mind, to go and live my life, because I do love you – I do – but I feel like love just isn’t enough anymore. I am not being fulfilled on any level, so what I thought we were building together is tarnishing. When was the last time you called me your wife? When was the last time you treated me like a new girlfriend? When was the last time you spoke to me like a friend? We are stars passing in the night, roommates who happen to live in a house they bought together, strangers wearing the face of people we thought we loved. I am done not being treated like I matter. I want to go out and have some real friends and actually live my life outside of work, home, grocery store, the gas station, and the occasional coffee shop. I want to go out to bars and grab a drink. I want to dress up and dress down and walk the town and see the lights and I am tired of everything we do being centered on you or your family or your friends or your interests. Why do I have to go and do things on my own? You tell me that you are willing to experience things with me, but don’t go with me when I hike or explore or go into the city.

Sailing on a ship in a bottle

Water's leaking through holes in the bottom

Flying flags of ships that have long since

Sat at the floor of the sea, but in defense

People often say “you have one life to live, so live it to the fullest,” or “in life you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.” This is something I am slowly but surely coming to realize. Often there are times where I question whether something makes me seem like this or like that; if I’m being too bitchy or needy or distant or assertive. I think about what other people will think of me, which is normal because no one inherently wants to portray themselves as something they aren’t. But, ultimately, those opinions and judgments are irrelevant. I can't live my life day by day and question what people will say or do. I am not responsible for how other people interpret their exchanges with me. I am not responsible for their opinion of me based on piecemeal interactions. I have to live my life for myself. I haven’t lived my life for myself in so long I almost don’t even know if I can anymore. I have been so tied up in someone else for so long that I am not even sure how to become myself again without pain, and struggle, and heartbreak. But I’m ready to do it.

You set sail alone there is no crew

No one on the deck who can help you

This is all your own battle to win

This is your ship and you are the captain

I’m ready to love myself, challenge myself, and be a priority for myself; and right now all I feel is like all you’re doing is dragging me down. I come home and you are a thunder-cloud who is satisfied with not living your life. It is not my responsibility to fix your problems, soothe your depression, or enhance your diet and health; and you may think that’s cruel, but all I have done for the past year is try and try and try to make everything clean and functional and okay in our relationship, in our lives, and in our home. I want you to be happy, sure; but I want me to be happy more. I love you, sure; but I love the idea of not loving you more. Now is the time for me to make myself the priority. Now is the time for me to be selfish and ego-centric and self-centered. I need to do what I want, feel how I want, eat and drink what I want, go where I want, and just be who I want to be. I am the captain of my own ship, and now it’s time for me to deal.

Oh, captain, let's make a deal

Where we both say the things that we both really feel

I feel scared and I'm starting to sink

And I only sink deeper the deeper I think

Oh, captain, make up your mind

Before the salt burns your eyes and you run out of time

'Cause you're popping the cork, you get lost in your brain

And you lose touch with all the things that made you feel sane

Oh, captain, Oh, captain, deal, Oh, captain, deal, Oh woah~

------------------------------------

Ship In A Bottle, by Steffan Argus

My Priority: Don’t Drown, by Vann Fenrirs Volchitsa

[rebelheartsmustbefree]

Isaac and Levi (PT 1)

Levi

Earth. I hated being topside. Especially in a cozy-looking town nestled in the middle of the Midwest, complete with tree-lined streets and cul-de-sacs. I stared at the house in front of me, windows all lit up, porch swept clean, grass neatly cut. The stark lines of the roof waved a little, until I blinked a few times and cleared my vision. I stood on the sidewalk in blood-soaked clothes, holding my stomach and intestines in with an arm around my waist. My head lolled down, then rolled to the side so I could get a gander at the home once again.

The angel lived here? It didn’t seem possible. I had been sure in my desperation to find him I’d be forced to deal my way to a portal that connected heaven and earth. But my connections informed me that the one and only son of Michael now resided in /Indiana/. In his late /human/ mother’s home.

I felt a nudge in my back, snarling at the blast of pain it sent through my torso and down my legs. A long snout pushed me across the lawn. I didn’t want to do this. I had to do this. The angel had a gift for healing unlike anything anyone had ever seen before. He also had a knack for apocalyptic slaughter, but apparently that was under control if he was hanging with the humans 24/7. His other talents included pissing me off and saving souls before I could take them. I still couldn’t figure out when he had the time to make friends with a hellhound. Add that to the list of strange abilities and you had Isaac.

I looked around as Hound jabbed at me, herding my barely-conscious self around to the back of the house. When he first told me where to find the angel, I had laughed. Surely he was wrong. Maybe ate one too many dead humans and his brains had gotten jumbled. But he swore up and down that he was sure, that he left his scent here so he could find it again. I complimented him on his strategy, but now I was starting to wonder if marking the property was less about Hell’s advantage in the great war of Good vs. Evil and more about the scent of food that was wafting out the back windows. My legs gave out just shy of the back door, and in an effort to keep my insides from spilling out, I landed on my face in the bushes. Hound realized this was as far as my nearly severed in half body was going. He howled once, loud and so deep it vibrated my broken ribs. Then he turned and ran off.

Isaac

*It was pretty late, just getting home from the bar and I had the grumbly tummy. I looked around at all the food I had made and had to laugh. I think I instinctively made extra so there would always be some for Hound. I think my mom had something to do with my propensity to be thoughtful of others. No matter what origin they may carry. Sure he was a Hellhound, but for some reason I couldn’t help but bond with the Pup. Beings that eat cookies together and take out pesky ninja squirrels together, stay together...or something like that. After I finished eating I gathered up some containers and packaged up all the leftovers and stacked them in the fridge. With a full belly I set out for the couch to flip on the t.v. and maybe pass out. Just as I stretched out I heard him.

I bet anything he smelled all the food and had to come check it out.

I had only heard that howl once or twice before, but it was unmistakable. That was Hound. I got up off the couch and stumbled my way back through the kitchen and opened the back sliding glass doors. Only there was no sign of my friend. But I know I heard him...I could smell him and feel him in the atmosphere around me. We had spent enough time together that his presence had left an imprint on me. Also unmistakable. But there was something else that caught my senses off kilter. Blood. Demon. And another being that had an imprint on me was present. I warily made my way across the porch, scanning for him. I felt him. Where the fuck was--*

Levi.. what the fuck?

*Those were all the words I could manage before my hand came up to my mouth in horror. The demon I had tortured souls with was face down in my shrubbery, looking like the end product of one of those sessions of ours. I scattered off the porch steps and came around to the side of him, getting down on my knees to access the damage. Jesus. This was really bad. I was half between feeling concerned and looking at karma incarnate. It looked as though most his insides were trying to relocate to the outside. Like guts and stuff, blood and more blood. He was covered in his own blood. I placed my hands on his shoulder to gently turn him over onto his back so I could get a better look.*

Levi, can you open your eyes for me.. What the fuck happened to you?

Levi

The bushes scraped at my face as the angel rolled me over, but at least he had heard Hound’s howl and came outside. I was hard to miss, bloody body all contorted at the edge of his back porch, half sticking out of the shrubs. My eyes cracked open, even though I knew by voice that Isaac was the one talking to me. His face loomed close, only half visible by the light streaming out of the house.

“Orcus. His talons.”

I had to hope Isaac either knew of the demon, or of his reputation. Orcus was the punisher of broken oaths in Hell. How many humans regretted the deals they made with hellions? How many tried to snake their way out when the time came to give up their soul? How many demons had screwed another over to get their hands on a valuable soul? Power struggles happened all the time in the Underworld, various hellions conspiring and betraying one another. Orcus was never bored.

I lifted my hands so Isaac could see just how bad it was. I hadn’t let it bother me at the time, I was too focused on getting Kaia’s soul back to her body. My only goal was setting her free. I hadn’t planned on her brother, Keith, jamming his size-twelve boot into my face, but that was neither here nor there.  Kaia would tell him everything that happened, and in the end, will likely be grateful I didn’t have the strength to react to his assault. I could feel my exposed flesh dying because of all the blood loss. Because I had waited this long, even hesitating once the Hound agreed to lead me here, my only hope now was the angel looking down on me.

“What is your price, Isaac?”

Isaac

*When the demon lifted his hands and showed me the true depth of his injuries, it became painfully clear that this was much much worse than I initially thought. Levi was pert near sliced in half. That wasn’t the only injury but it was by far the worst. At least that’s what it appears to be from what I could tell through the blood that covered his entire body. I needed to wash some of it off so I could tell what the hell was really going on. I wasn’t too familiar with Orcus but I knew of his wrath and now I was seeing it up front and up close. Ugly but effective. Got the point across in the most grotesque way. I had to wonder what exactly Levi had done to the wretched demon to receive such a punishment. But my curiosity will have to take a back seat for now until I could put this hellmouth back together again.

His last few words caught me off guard. Clearly he wasn’t referring to currency so it had to be talking about some sort of trade between the ying and the yang of the universe. Him and I. But right now I couldn’t focus on shit like that when half his guts were in a hurry to exit his body. That was one nasty cut and now I knew what I had to do. Much like the obligation of a doctor, I had a duty built into my angel hard drive to heal and not ask for things back. That’s just not how I tick. Pushing that comment aside for now, I placed my hands on his own, covering his stomach back up to hold things in while I carried him.

Which was going to be fun because this fella was big. Not that I was small but he was built like a brick shit-house and at least six inches taller than me.*

Keep your hands there, Levi. I need to get you inside and clean you up so I can put you back together again.

*I didn’t wait for any sign of acknowledgement of what I just said. The time for words were over. I slipped my arms beneath his body and lifted him with ease off the cold ground. With one arm around his middle, the other secure behind his knees, I hoisted him up and I got back to my feet. Though he wasn't hard to carry, he was all arms and legs and blood..don't forget all the blood. I didn’t stop until we were in the house and I placed his body on the kitchen table. I grabbed a cushion off the chair and placed it under his head. Once he was settled, I grabbed some supplies to clean him up and came back and began washing off some of the blood little by little. There was so much fucking blood.*

Was that Hound...I mean...did he bring you to me, Levi?

Levi  

No one had ever picked me up before. Literally. It had never happened. I had been in many battles over time, had been launched or hit or knocked back with the power of magic. But I could not remember one instance in my thousands of years alive where another being had slid their arms under my torso and lower half and lifted my form off the ground. And here was this angel, this damn blessed angel, using nothing but his own arms and legs to carry me into his house.

Something was different about him as well. I could sense it, but without the strength to hold my head up, I couldn’t even look at him. I felt the change in temperature as we crossed the threshold into his mother’s home. It smelled like peppers and meatballs, warm bread and wine. Now the hellhound’s behavior was making more sense. What dog wouldn’t love this place? It probably felt cozy and secure, just like his den down in Hell.

My hands slipped off my stomach as I was placed on a large, flat surface. My eyes blinked open a little, but even they were glossed over with blood and sweat. There were lights, sounds, smells, but I couldn’t really feel any of it anymore. I’d lost a lot of blood. Actually, all of it. He had to act fast if I was going to have any chance at recovering. I wasn’t exactly sure what would happen if I ceased to exist. I had no soul, so there would be no afterlife to speak of. I wouldn’t rejoin the hellions in the Underworld, nor could I rise to Heaven. I had no predecessor nor did I have a protege. I was the original Hellmouth, the first and only. If I’d paid closer attention, I could have warned Hound, told him where to find the portals between Hell and Earth that could be used to drag souls down into Hell. Or how to raise the ferryman and sail the River Styx. An echo of Isaac’s voice ricocheted inside my skull. It took a few times around for me to work it out.

“Yes. Hound.”

My voice sounded just as far away. And infinitely more hoarse. The room started to dim, getting dark even though I knew the lights were still on.

“No time.”

Isaac

Levi..

*My saddened tone was lost on him as I felt his life slipping away. I could actually feel his ora fading from this room. Those last couple words uttered by him were to be his last. And would be his last if he didn’t have me standing right here with him. I didn’t have time to wash him up and do a proper inventory of injuries. It was obvious which one was the culprit. Levi’s hands now hang lifeless on either side of the table, leaving that gaping wound wide open. Firstly I had to put his insides...back on the inside. Time to get my hands dirty.

I went to work quickly, leaning over his body and placing his liver, part of his stomach and the beginning of his intestines back into his abdomen. There was hardly any blood left in his body. It was hard to tell how long he waited to get to me but if the Hound hadn’t brought him to me he would have died. There wasn’t any hesitation with me. The reasons why he ended up like this mattered not to me at this moment. He may have rightly deserved this but that wasn't in my thoughts right now.. saving him was. Even though an Angel probably shouldn’t use their grace to save the Hellmouth, I looked down at the being and could only see someone that needed my help. With all his gooey bits now back where they belonged, I submerged my hands inside his stomach and closed my eyes. I felt the warmth instantly. It envelops Levi and I as I let the essence flow from my fingertips. First his blood. I pulled from the existence of what was already there, seeking and capturing the blood, using my grace to multiply and replenish.

I didn’t stop until my hands were coated in his new and plentiful blood. It was actually a beautiful sight to behold as I brought my hands out seeing them coated in Levi’s blood. But there was no time to stand and relish in that miracle when I had more to perform. I took a deep breath and placed my blood soaked hands on either side of Levi’s gruesome wound. I gave myself over to the grace, letting my life force permeate his lifeless body. I watched as his flesh began to glow, coming from the inside out as it began to heal. The awful gash across his gut was closing up inch by inch until there was no sign of it at all. Well except for all the blood of course.

I ran my knuckles over his sternum, trying to get any sort of response from him. He still wasn’t moving. Dread filled my own gut. Was I too late? I needed him to wake up and say something in his usual smartass fashion. I placed my hand on his upper chest, over the place where his heart lay beneath, giving another shot of my soothing light. I didn’t know what else to do. Had I failed him?*

Levi

The void my consciousness entered as everything stopped was both frightening and fascinating. I’d never not existed. Yet suddenly I was without existence. No hands, no face, no body to speak of. No soul or spirit. Up and down were constructs that ceased to have any meaning. Same with space and time. I was before. Now I simply wasn’t.

Why did humans fear death?

Climbing back up out of lifelessness was unfathomably more difficult than falling into it. It started with a warmth spreading inside the cavity that once housed my organs. Quicky it heated to fire, neurons and cells jumpstarting once more as they were repaired by what I could only assume was Isaac’s grace. Numbness and cold was peaceful. This was a blaze raging out of control, agonizing pain spreading throughout as my systems came back online, brain firing nonstop with signals flooding in from every inch of my body all at once. I had waited too long to find the angel, and now the forced repair of my organs and bones was a firestorm I couldn’t escape. Hellfire burned within and without, until my body arched up off the table and seized back to life once more. A shot of grace, straight to the ticker. Air exploded into my lungs, senses alive again as the lights of Isaac’s home lit the outsides of my eyelids, the aromas of his kitchen filled my nose, and the rigidity of the table below me proved that I was once again in the human world.

My eyes creaked open, blurry and glossed over. I blinked slowly, letting the room come into focus, including Isaac as he loomed over me. His face was close, watching intently to see if the magic had worked. It had. My head tilted slightly, looking over his shoulder.

Slowly my arm lifted, blood stained palm pushing up Isaac's shoulder. It eased around the back of his neck. He drew closer, eyes lit up with omnipotent grace staring into my darkened abyss. My hand slid further, through his hair, our faces nose to nose. Up, up, to the feathered appendages that hung open over us. My fingertips brushed the blindingly-white wing, soot against silk. Inch by inch, to the very tip, which was edged in silver now instead of platinum.

“These are new.”

Isaac

*For a second I thought maybe he was going to kiss me. I had been kissed many times and they all involved hands in hair, hand to the back of the neck, nose to nose types of things. Only a kiss from this particular being meant something else entirely. And this angel wanted no part of that action. But then Levi surprised me even more when his hand went to my wings and he began exploring them right up to their silver tips. The few words he managed to utter didn’t register at first. It wasn’t because I was shocked that he noticed, or the fact that I hadn’t even realized that my wings were on display.. But that the demon was actually touching me. Like with his own hand. I think the only time I could recall him being this close to me and making contact was when I told him to shove a knife in my stomach just so he could watch me heal. The only other time we had gotten within touching distance was when I came to join him in the pit to dismantle some much deserving sinners. Even then it was more about Levi watching my hands get bloody and seeing what pain I would inflict on these depraved souls. I glanced over my shoulder and looked at his fingers tracing my wings, seeing the traces of blood he left on the stark white feathers. I was willing to bet his blood now smeared through my hair, over my shoulder and at the back of my neck too. There was a lot of blood going on between the two of us but at least now he was talking..oh and breathing thanks to me.*

I didn’t save your life for you to start getting fresh with me, Levi..

*My angel blues met back up with the darkness of his once before pulling back and away from his touch. I made a remark about how much of a pain it was to get blood out of my wings and how I seriously considered just leaving it there.*

Yeah, they’re new. I have gotten an upgrade of sorts. One that I didn’t ask for but now I have to tow the line so to speak or the whole universe could go -BOOM- .

*I made the dramatic hand gesture along with sounds to enhance my point. Also a laugh that was more out of place than anything. Probably because I was just nervous around the demon that now was pretty much good as new laying on my dining room table. I ran my fingers over his torso as I glanced back up at him.*

I think that’s a damn fine patch job, don’t you think? Kind of like putting humpty dumpty back together again. You’re welcome.

[addictionrecoveryassistance]

Detox Centers In Granville North Dakota 58741

Contents

1 middle school

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[abiteofnat]

GOT OUR NASH(FILL) OF NASH(VILLE)...

Because if there was a thing to be eaten in this city, boy did we eat it. They like to do it big in the south and I was not prepared for just hOW big our three days in Nasty Nash would be, from the food to the people to the number on the thermometor. Luzi and I took a tour-de-midwest adventure by way of MegaBus to the land of Johnny Cash in the late summer weeks when we believed good weather and positive thinking was fleeting, as once school picks back up fun is a fallacy, especially because three months ago I was sitting in an arena surrounded by the best & brightest peers with tequila bottles hidden up their graduation gown sleeves and I believed I HAD DONE IT. The four years of education that were truly some of the best of my life had ended, and I was so proud to walk out a scholar... until last week when graduate classes began and I found myself back in those same rooms with the same familiar dread of 7:15 p.m., when every student goes to Chipotle on our break and comes back with a full-on burrito bowl meal that we ALL get to enjoy with them. Really. I love school.

But we needed this last hurrah. 

So nine hours later and hundreds of miles seen through MegaBus windows, some McDonald’s consumed along the way for road trip posterity, we tumbled out into the late afternoon sun of NASHVILLE! Step number one: get to the Airbnb and drop off our suitcases and wash our smelly selves. Step number two: EAT SOME FRIED FOOD AND HEAR AT LEAST 1-5 FIDDLES. 

We chose our first spot, ACME Feed & Seed, due to multiple suggestions to check it out and because it’s a four-story bar alongside the river. Um, that sounded ideal. And it was. We ordered fried green tomatoes with pimento cheese and remoulade along with a deep-dish cherry cobbler toped with vanilla bean ice cream as our intro dinner, and found a place to sit amidst the dark, crowded scene of the first floor. There was a live band playing excellent songs that the crowd seated at tables and along the extensive bar were vibbing with, and while we snacked on the most incredible candied cherry and whole-grain oatmeal topped cobbler we slowly realized we did it; our yolo trip had begun!!! There’s a weird part of traveling where you don’t really believe you’re at the destination until a couple hours later and the travel has worn off, and then suddenly you’re just present in the location and the moment and it’s exhilarating. We looked at each other and the devil was in our eyes and that night went from chill tomatoes & beer to DRANKS at the three-story bar smack dab in the middle of Lower Broadway, a soon-to-be home base for us called Honky Tonk. 

Honky Tonk is where you go for loud live music, people singing along with that live music, tons of open balconies and tables and dance floors, and cheap-ish drinks that allow you to have a wild evening should you be open to that. We fell in love on the spot and a drink called a “Yee-Haw” became my #1 beverage of choice, and both guys that offered to buy me a drink looked entirely stricken that they had to order a “Yee-Haw” instead of a “Can I get a, uh, Bud Light? Yeah. Bud Light. That sounds manly.” 

The top floor is where it’s at, as they play only well-known but kinda old country music and you get a full view both directions on Broadway. The bright neon lights and exceptional masses of people really did make it seem like THE place to be, and so we stayed. For three nights. Along with checking out other bars, of course. 

Food wise, this trip was remarkable. We tried a little bit of everything whenever we could, and here are my top top places for Nashville noshing. 

1. Barista Parlor 

Barista Parlor is the exact kind of coffee shop you want to find in a city of hipsters, music, metal, and heat. This giant factory/warehouse turned “parlor” was cool in every way: quiet, dim-lit, full of fun knick-knacks and decor, and had a gorgeous wooden floor with the logo carved into it. 

The coffee was incredible, and my iced latte was served in that type of glass that makes everything taste a little bit trendier. We had heard of Five Daughters bakery and their hundred-layer donuts, so given the opportunity to snag the last chocolate one they had RIGHT THERE we had to take it. This crisp, hand-pulled espresso in almond milk along with a REAL, fried-to-the-extreme donut proved to be a heart-stopping breakfast. Like, do not eat one of these donuts if you have a history of heart disease. But holy wow, it was incredible. It was greasy and chocolate-y and somehow still flaky like a croissant, and the glaze on top was genuine milk chocolate melted down and dripped all over. Barista Parlor won over my corporate- America barista heart, and should I ever move to Nashville I’m taking my barista skills there to go up a level. 

Luzi approved!

2. Five Daughters Bakery

Ok this bakery was the damn cutest thing I’ve ever seen. It has pink, it has green, and it looks like every preppy brand teamed up to make gluttonous food for fashionable lil people. The area where this place is located is where Draper James (Reese Witherspoon’s store) is, and the murals that make the city of Nashville so very Instagram-able. We’re talking “I Believe in Nashville” and the blue + white stripes that make for a very dynamic photo. There are a million tiny stand-alone boutiques, coffee stops, and trendy places to buy a candle so if you have an afternoon to burn this is your area. After donut #2 of the day of the same variety (even though they have a dozen + types of donuts to choose from), we stopped at Frothy Monkey for a caffeine pick-me-up. 

3. Frothy Monkey 

Luzi was like a kid in a candy store when we made it here, because this place was her #1 to visit and I was so happy we stumbled upon it! This location near Five Daughters is like a house turned coffee-shop fort, and it’s incredible cozy inside and out. Tables were hard to snag but we got one right on the front porch and sat like a couple of oldies just watching the people go by and enjoying yet another perfect latte. Nashville knows how to do coffee very well. We went back the morning before our MegaBus home departed and it was just as cute and good at a different location, and they appeared to offer huge beautiful breakfasts if you wanted to sit in a more formal dining area. A coffee house that can also serve up a mean omelette? Hell yes. 

4. Biscuit Love

After a long night of debauchery and all-around YOLO moments Luzi and I greeted the day with sunglasses and a hunger for heavy southern food that frightened us both, so off to The Gulch for biscuits and cheese and hopefully a lot of butter. We waited in the fast-moving line along with bachelorette parties galore, adorable young families, and bros just looking to brunch and it was clear that is area is up n’ coming as a top young people living spot. Biscuit Love was an adorable cafe with a straightforward but intriguing menu circling around, you guessed it, biscuits and gravy and all those good things. We both got a biscuit with eggs and cheese and some iced coffee, and WOW that was just what the doctor warned against. The biscuits were huge and fluffy, moist to the middle but with a crunchy outside, and the eggs were folded to be eaten sandwich style should you wish. The inside is a very basic “country-chic” feel and offers the right amount of cute but practical that one wishes for when they’re eating a cheesy biscuit in the most elegant way they can. I was a big fan and would for sure return to try whatever else isn’t slathered in non-vegetarian gravy! 

5. Martin’s BBQ! 

This place stole the show for me. A very kind dad recommended it to us on the first night and we were hesitant because there’s always caution when a fifty year old man chooses to talk to two young women at a bar packed with people our age, but once we arrived at some real authentic BBQ I was thrilled. As I am a pro at making meals out of sides we got deviled eggs, mac & cheese, coleslaw, and some herb-pancake that was far too delicious for how cheap it was to sample. Luzi got the fried chicken that I drooled over from across the table, but the sides were all amazing and it was my absolute favorite meal we had there. The interior of this place is like a giant covered beer garden with tons of picnic and hightop tables and then trees and foliage all over, completed with bars and arcade style games once you move further inside. It’s loud, smoky, casual, and yet so perfect for a beer and some homestyle food. Plus, it’s only a couple blocks from Broadway so after you’re done and dawn has turned to dusk you just wander over to the nutty part of town for the night! 

Honorable mentions include: the Florida Georgia Line bar that’s across from the Johnny Cash Museum; it has an excellent rooftop and by day is perfect for day drinking while at night turns into a RODEO of sorts. Plus their food in the lower levels is actually delicious and they play country music videos on the walls the whole time. Man I love country music and greasy food put together. Also, The Little Octopus offers a fancier evening setting if that’s what you’re looking for, with healthy & delicious tapas-style options such as fried yukka with aioli and rice and beans topped with a spicy tomato sauce. We treated ourselves on our last night out and got a flavor-filled, high class experience there that let us reflect on our time in Nash and get really emo about leaving. In 72 hours we really really fell in love with that city, from our sketchy but lovely Airbnb to everyone that kept asking “BUT WHERE’S THE REST OF YOUR GROUP” when they refused to believe it was just two of us doin’ a girl’s trip. 

Would I go back? Absolutely. By way of the Megabus? Nope. But it was an excellent experience, and Nasty Nash filled our tummies & souls. 

Until next time, Happy Eating!

-Natalie

[restlessjourneyor-blog]

A PCT through-hiker, a hippie family, and fellow a Hoosier

After I dropped Mom off at the Medford airport at the conclusion of our 4-day road trip Oregon-bound, I came to realization that for all intents and purposes, I was slightly, kinda sorta…. homeless. My future field partner and I had been looking for places to live in Medford, Central Point, and Talent, in hopes of finding a month-to-month place to live for the 4-month duration of our job. I quickly learned that finding housing, at least in southern Oregon, was HARD. Fresh out of college, where you walk down the street and see almost every house/apartment for rent, this was a wake-up call.

I knew of hostels in Ashland, another nearby city in my area. I fortunately scored a bed for two nights in the Ashland Commons, a SWEET, tidy, mural dotted hostel located in the heart of Ashland. After exploring downtown Ashland for a bit, stopping by a farmer’s market to stock some fresh strawberries in my cooler (my only food supply) I parked in the hostel parking lot for some reorganization time. My car was a mess after having lived out of it for 4 days…

At the conclusion of “gear Tetris” in the Hyundai, I chilled on the top bunk, decompressing after hours of traveling. I meandered out into the kitchen after I heard the tell-tale clanking of dishes and thud of footsteps.

**I should take this moment to point out the fact that I am a hopeless romantic (I place 90% of the blame of Nicholas Sparks, whose books I read as though they were the only form of writing that existed back in the early 2000s). So, when I decided to stay in a hostel I had written my love story in my mind, one involving mysterious (and attractive, of course) world traveler who was also stopping by that hostel for a night’s stay, whom with I would then fall madly in love and the rest of days would be spent traveling the world together. Needless to say, my life is NOT a Nicholas Sparks novel, so instead of meeting my soulmate, I met Rambler.

A PCT through-hiker, Rambler was a wealth of knowledge about the dos and don’ts of the trail, as well as the gear that was the best. He was also full of stories woven by threads of humor, heartbreak, and advice (if one chose to see it that way). From Rambler, I learned (or was reminded) that life is hard, and Nature offers a unique comfort to sadness in a its vast forests and miles and miles of trails. He was on his 2nd time through the PCT, driven to the outdoors by divorce, as he searched for an outlet for his pain. He also taught me that $1.50 mosquito nets from Walmart are just as good as $30 mosquito nets from a name brand, and that the plastic used for window covering in house projects, works as a perfect mat to protect your tent or sleeping bag. I find that most things in fact, are this way: less complicated and not as they seem.

As a PCT trail hiker, minimal is maximal. Meaning, the less the better. Rambler was too the point of cutting tags out of his clothes just to save that extra 0.05 ounce, because it all adds up and it’s useless anyways, right? The duct tape trick involves putting pieces of duct tape on all of your pieces of gear, only to be removed when the gear was used. What a simple lesson to remind us to get rid of the duct taped things in our real lives (90% of my taped items would be clothes).

If I ever find myself near the Bishop Hostel in California, I know to forego the high-class dinner (or in my case McDonald’s) and head to the bowling alley instead for a lobster dinner…who would have thought?

I dropped Rambler off at one of the PCT trailheads outside of Ashland (saved him a 14-mile walk). It was great to get to know him, and I wish him the best of luck on what I have learned to be a rather treacherous PCT this year.

                                                       ----

As I was chatting with Rambler another hostel inhabitant entered the conversation. Seemingly in an unspoken competition for the most interesting “divorce stories” I learned more about these people than I asked to. And I have found that to be a common theme among the people I speak to. I, myself, am the opposite. More often than not, I avoid any “self-topics”, or personal professions that clue the fellow conversationalist into how I think, or what has happened to me during my life.

Yet, there I was, sitting at the kitchen table, more or less an observer of these people’s seemingly tragic life stories. The other hotel inhabitant was one of three guests in the same family. She, her son, and her boyfriend (the boy’s father). The mother was the sweetest women. One of those types of people who wears the smile of someone enjoying life every second of everyday. Aside from divorce stories, she also bent my ear with tales of the adventures she had been on, and the places she had lived. Her boyfriend (a spitting image of one of the contestants on Survivor from this past season), had one of the most piercing gazes I have ever experienced. On a side note, I felt as though he was analyzing your soul instead of just listening to the words I spoke. I never saw the man wear shoes. In a traditional hippie fashion, he was shoe-less 24/7. These people were the salt of the earth, and I was sad to s e them go. They left me with a pleasant hostel experience and the recipe for the best almond pudding.

                                                       ----

Upon returning to the hostel on my first night I met the new guest, with whom I also happened to be sharing a room. She was only staying in the hostel for a couple of nights as she had decided to keep her belongings in a storage unit and to camp instead of spending money on other housing (super badass). Weirdest part…. she was from Indiana. She went to IU and had spent most of her life in the Midwest (seriously, what are the odds). However, she had called the west her home for the past couple years, working seasonal environmental science positions. We chatted science and biology, as we strolled through the famed Lithia Park. Forestry her specialty, she pointed out trees and plants for me to learn.

We chatted about traveling, and the places we had been. As we swapped mountain backpacking stories we pondered what it would be like to overcome the ‘veil of disbelief’ that is traditionally our involuntary response to seeing a sight that takes your breath away, and renders you unable to  cannot fully comprehend its reality. I spoke of standing at the edge of Black Lake in Rocky Mountain National Park, in disbelief, as we overlooked the “photoshopped” snow-covered mountains, plunging gorges, and pine forests, as the strength of wind held my body up. My inability to completely fathom what I was seeing almost inhibited my ability to enjoy it, or to even convey it to those who were not there in the moment. She surmised that if we were ever able to “overcome the veil of disbelief” it would be an otherworldly experience. I fear that we might never be able to achieve this feat. Good food for thought…I might argue that any attempt to achieve this goal of overcoming the veil might be futile, as the more we see, the more we wouldn’t be able to believe that is was possible for all of this to exist.

[kitsunesbooks]

The Stunning World of Final Fantasy XV

When it comes to story, in any form of media, the world of that story is what always grabs me first with characters at a close second. The setting can make or break a story for me and it often disappoints me when I see worlds that serve only as a backdrop. In my opinion, no world should be put to waste. Worlds need to interact with the characters and vice versa. A world shouldn’t serve the single purpose of providing a locale for the variety of actions that unfold. One of the ways that writers tend to avoid the struggle of world building is by setting their world in a modern era. Final Fantasy XV takes that idea and hurls it into the friggin stratosphere.

Final Fantasy XV is a game I have been playing quite a lot, but wished I had more time to dedicate to. I have spent ten years waiting to play this game, and even though I am aware that the story deviates from the original plot of Versus XIII, the original title of XV, it is still a phenomenal game. And one of the things that makes this game such a grand revival of Final Fantasy is it's absolutely gorgeous open world. The world of Eos is teeming with life and vibrance and has instantly become one of my favorite video game worlds ever since I first laid eyes on the city of Insomnia back in 2006. Its flawless blend of fiction and reality is something to behold as it creates a story steeped in a beautiful depiction of open road Americana.

In most stories that blend fantasy and reality, the real world often shoves the fantasy side in the back seat. This is almost too true for A LOT of Western stories. This is especially true for books and tv where a “fantasy world” is often showcased as just a damn forest. Final Fantasy XV proves that it is possible to seamlessly meld fantasy and reality in a way that balances the two and creates a world that viewers/players can actually believe is real. The city of Insomnia is a sight to behold. The beaches of Galdin Quay remind me of the shores here in Jersey as well as the Caribbean islands. The forests of Duscae are extremely reminiscent of the Appalachians. There is so much beauty in this world and it is definitely the highlight of this game. Not only that, but it demonstrates that it is possible to make an alluring fantasy world set in a modern era. It is easy to take our world and just put some magic in it, but when you take the time to really flesh out the fantasy side of things you get something less generic. The visuals definitely aid in painting the gorgeous landscapes of Eos, but that shouldn’t stop writers from using deep level descriptions to really emphasize the fantasy part of their settings. If anything, the visuals of FFXV should encourage this level of detail in writing. Final Fantasy XV should be an example of how to do a proper modern fantasy.

The towns all feel heavily lived in and well populated. While the roads may feel a little barren at times, traffic always picks up near the variety of towns and settlements. Lestallum is one the prettiest and quaintest little towns I have ever seen, with its quiet and rustic city scape. Insomnia, though we never see much of it, is a sprawling metropolis reminiscent of Tokyo. Hell, even the Hammerhead garage takes design elements akin to those aged rest stops you find on those long midwest highways here in America. I would rant about how gorgeous Altissia is, but I haven’t gotten there yet. All of these places feel so close to reality while still keeping a strong fantasy style that helps to seamlessly meld a world of science and a world of magic. I think one of my favorite parts about the game is all the different foods you can try at rest places. Every hotel/restaurant has a variety of different menu items adding a layer of culture to each place you visit. It is a detail that is completely unnecessary but adds a layer of depth to the world. And the fact that this same small part of the world can actually help you in the game shows a genuine understanding of how open world games should really work, or really any game for that matter. Games that have mechanics that work together with the lore really stand out to me. That is why I am such a fan of the Souls series. Final Fantasy XV nails that harmony between the story and the game.

Another amazing aspect of Final Fantasy XV is the photography. Prompto, one of your party members, has a deep affinity for taking pictures. This adds to the road trip aesthetic that game flawlessly delivers on. Almost every shot is a stunning view of the world as a backdrop to the characters. There are even a few photo op places scattered around the world, such as the Disc of Cauthess in Duscae. The photography really does the world a ton of justice and teeters on the verge of uncanny valley. The photos are almost too true to life. Even my mother, who never plays video games, had to comment on the photo-realism of the game’s amazing graphics, which do an amazing job to add color and vibrance to the world Eos.

Though the world is fantastic there are a few problems. While, one them I don’t necessarily have trouble with, others seem to dislike it. That of course is the large amount of product placement. While it is kind of dumb to have the characters themselves talk about friggin Cup Noodles. I can at least see why a game like this could be such a potent vehicle for product placement. There is so much of it, simply because it works. It doesn’t take your eyes off things when you see it. If anything it brings us much closer to our reality and makes the world of Eos seem like more of an altered version of our Earth. Product placement CAN be used as an effective writing tool to help sell a story as something that could exist. But when it is thrust into the dialogue in a clumsy fashion, like almost all product placements do, it falls flat on its face. But hey, that Audi R8 in Kingsglaive looked pretty damn cool.

On the other hand, the one complaint I have with the world is that despite how interesting it looks, the lore is tucked away. The world amazingly fleshed out and a beautiful sight to behold, but it doesn’t really embody its lore as strongly. That is a problem. But, then again, at least it has lore to begin with. Eos, has a pantheon of gods, it has a creation story, it has lore tied to each of the major kingdoms such as Nifelheim and Lucis. But it falls a bit short for not being put somewhere in the actual game. I would have really enjoyed being able to uncover tidbits of lore throughout the open world, like in Dark Souls for instance. But I will settle for what I have.

I honestly don’t know how long I can gush about this game without sounding too repetitive. I will more than likely be doing some more articles on FFXV as I play through more of it. Future articles will be much more in depth than this one for any of you looking for some juicy research.

Stay Frosty, Adam Schmidt