#in the wise words of alanis morissette

[disabled-dragoon]

Looked up a new documentary by a disabled comedian that's coming out because the title of it is a bit...hm

And of course half of the comments on it were making fun of her disability and speech 🙄 [rolling eyes emoji]

It's almost like they're the very people the documentary is aimed at in the first place 🤯 [exploding head emoji] /s

[wheresmynaya]

Blame it on the Mistletoe Ch. 2 | Brittana

A/N - I've been blown away by everyone's kind words from last chapter and happy to see some familiar names pop up in my notifications too! Thank you all so much for reading, what a warm welcome back!

Available on ff.net (x) ao3 (x) & under the cut!

After many years of working in a kitchen, Santana learned that she works well with routines. It’s most likely a habit she picked up while working under Chef Holliday, but it stuck with her, and she rarely deviates from it. Every day starts the same; review last night’s prep list and delegate tasks, quality check, review deliveries and triple check inventory then brief with the team before service.

Routines equal consistency and consistency equals success and success equals the Understudy staying open and everyone else remaining employed. The latter being particularly important considering they’re knocking on the holidays’ door.  

It’s a lot of pressure when Santana thinks about it, so she tries not to.

Instead, she focuses on her routine and does her best to keep things running smoothly. Every day, she makes a point to be the first one to arrive and the last one to leave. She finds a certain solace being alone in an empty kitchen. She has her coffee and admires how everything’s clean and quiet, ready for a brand-new day. It’s usually peaceful, the calm before the storm, but lately Santana feels anything but peace thanks to Brittany’s return.

Lately, Santana feels like blasting Alanis Morissette.

\\

Service starts in less than three hours, but Kurt and Rachel struggle to string together a coherent thought with Santana’s choice of music rattling their office walls. They’ve learned to stay away from the kitchen at times like this despite paying for everything in it, including Santana’s salary. Chefs are a rare breed, kind of like actors, and Rachel respects that Santana has her own ways of preparing. However, the longer this goes on the more Kurt thinks it’s best they intervene.

“I don’t think it’s wise, Kurt,” Rachel insists. “Remember what happened last time you bothered her when the sign was up?”

“To be fair, that sign was meant to be a gag gift,” Kurt replies. “I didn’t think she’d actually use it against us.”

“Well she does and we should respect it.”  

“We are her bosses; we’re allowed to tell her to keep it down,” Kurt says. “But maybe we’ll just wait until the song finishes?”

“Of course. That’s more than generous.”

Rachel and Kurt return to their work and wait a few more minutes before the walls start to shake again. Rachel attempts to go on ignoring it but the constant rattling sends her most prized possession sliding off her desk. Thankfully, the framed picture of the one and only Broadway show she has ever starred in – which she has autographed herself – looks to be perfectly fine.

“Oh good, the glass didn’t break!” Rachel cheers as she places it back on her desk.

Kurt only shakes his head. “I think asking her to turn it down isn’t an unreasonable request. I can’t even hear myself think.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

“So you’ll come with me?”

“What?” Rachel gasps. “Why do you need me?”

“I’ll need the back up. You know, incase…”

“No, no. Santana and I are just starting to get along well again since the awards ceremony, I don’t want to ruin the progress we’ve made. She is terrifying when she’s angry.”

“We can’t live like this!” Kurt huffs and abruptly takes a stand. “We’re going in. Let’s go!”

Rachel screws up her face but follows Kurt out of the office anyway.

\\

In the kitchen, Santana furiously works through the day’s prep list with Quinn by her side. There’s a little more than usual considering the busy night before. Reservations have been on the rise since being dubbed the Best Regional Restaurant, so she has taken on some prep of her own to ease the line cooks’ workload when they arrive.

Santana likes to think of herself as a gracious leader sometimes, one who doesn’t shy away from getting her hands dirty when needed. In fact, she prefers working alongside her team. What is she supposed to do during service anyway? She’s no park and bark!

Plus she needs the extra work to keep herself distracted, otherwise she might actually return one of Brittany’s calls – and there have been a lot of them.

“Okay Santana, it’s time!” Kurt announces as he shoves the swing doors open. “We have something to – Rachel, come on!”

Rachel is dragged into view looking anything but pleased to be there. Santana watches the pair with an unamused look on her face but quickly loses interest when neither of them say anything and goes back to cutting vegetables.

Quinn seems to be intrigued and asks, “Time for what?”

“Yeah Rachel, time for what?” Kurt questions.

Rachel gasps again just as You Oughta Know finishes. “This was your idea.”

“But you’re equally distracted so it’s your idea too.”

“I was fine to deal with it because she’s clearly going through something – “

“Doesn’t mean she has to take it out on the rest of us!”

Suddenly, the music pauses. The pair look up to find Santana impatiently waiting.

“Hi, I can hear you. Do you mind taking your domestic dispute elsewhere? Thanks.” Santana tells them but just before she continues her work, Kurt whispers something. Santana rolls her eyes and asks, “What is it?”

Kurt and Rachel exchange a few more grumbled words before Kurt finally speaks up.

“We think you need to give Alanis a break.”

Santana quirks her brow. “Excuse me?”

“It’s been two weeks of this,” Kurt explains. “Surely, you can switch it up? I’m sure everyone would appreciate it. Right, Quinn?”

Quinn only shrugs. “I don’t mind. Jagged Little Pill is iconic.”

“That it is,” Rachel agrees. “However, maybe consider playing – “

“Let me guess, showtunes? No.” Santana lowers her eyes and goes back to working through her veg prep.

“Or maybe try something a little less, I don’t know. Angry?”

“Angry?” Santana repeats the word like it’s foreign. “I’m not angry.”

“Yes Santana, angry. You’re angry,” Rachel replies. “I get it, music is a great way to convey your feelings when you have trouble articulating them and like I told Kurt, you’re clearly upset about something since the ceremony. I thought we were past it and I thought winning would ease the tension but alas here we are. And the music, it’s just a little…loud.”

“Forget little. It’s extremely loud,” Kurt adds. “We can’t work under these conditions anymore!”

Santana finally looks up again, eyes narrowed on them. She lowers her knife slowly.

“Thank you for the feedback,” She tells them. The tone she takes is deceptively polite. “However, you told me when you hired me that it is my kitchen and I can run it however I like so with that being said…my kitchen, my Alanis..”

“Yes, but –“

“The sign is up.” Santana points at the Beware of Chef caution sign taped over the small window in the swing door. “Why? Because we have to respect each other’s workspaces. You can’t barge in here whenever you want, just like I can’t go barging into your office. It’s about respect.”

“See, but that’s our point,” Kurt tries. “This volume is disrespectful.”

“And so is that outfit but I keep my opinions to myself.”

“Santana…” Rachel chastises.

“You’re right, that was rude. But see? That wouldn’t have happened if you respected the sign,” Santana replies.

“She has a point, Kurt.”

“Rachel!”

“Anyway,” Santana says. “If you’re done interrupting, we have some work to do.”

“Right. We’ll just leave you to it,” Rachel interrupts Kurt and starts guiding him out of the kitchen. “We’re around if you need anything!”

“Noted.” Santana then rolls her eyes as they continue bickering out the door. But, she waits until they’re gone before lowering the volume. At the end of the day, they’re still her bosses so she better not press her luck.

Besides, they’re not entirely wrong about her being angry because she definitely is. No one at the Understudy knows about her personal history. All they know is that she trained under Chef Holliday for many years, moved up the ranks extremely fast and became this kickass chef. They know she��s pleasant with everyone, cares deeply about her crew and respects that she has a responsibility to this place.

What they don’t know is that trouble is brewing on the horizon and it takes form as one Brittany S. Pierce. After two weeks, Santana thought she would’ve found a way to deal with the news of her return and all the fun little things that came with it but she clearly hasn’t.

“I think we’re good on cucumber, Chef.”

Santana looks down at her station and finds the cutting board covered in cucumber batons. She curses as she organizes the mess, but she can feel Quinn glancing her way as they go back to work.

“Everything okay?” She asks. “You don’t usually go into autopilot when it’s just us.”

In the time that Santana’s worked at the Understudy, she and Quinn have developed a good working relationship. On her first day, she remembers Quinn standing guard at the kitchen doors with a face full of skepticism. Considering the Understudy’s history with Execs and knowing Quinn had to work under each of them, Santana couldn’t really blame her.

It was rocky at first, but they had a common understanding that Quinn’s knowledge was integral. If Santana was going fix whatever was wrong, she needed Quinn’s help to do it. Quinn respected that and they eventually became good friends. It comes with the territory when you spend all your time in the kitchen together.

“You don’t have to say,” Quinn adds upon Santana’s silence. “I think it’s totally normal to have Alanis on repeat for two weeks.”

Santana laughs at her sarcasm. Not many people can tell when Quinn’s joking and when she’s being serious – she always reminded her of Brittany in that way. Maybe that’s also why she’s so good at knowing the difference.

“I ran into someone at the awards ceremony,” Santana tells her. She’s not sure what to call Brittany – her friend, an old colleague, her girlfriend, her ex? None of the labels seem to fit. “This person and I have history and I wasn’t expecting to see them there.”

“Professional or romantic history?”

“Both.”

“I see,” Quinn says. “Must be a lot of history if you still can’t shake it off.”

“You have no idea,” Santana grumbles. “I’ve always avoided hooking up with anyone I work with. We just share small spaces for hours on end, we’re not actually attracted to each other. You know?”

“There should be a term for it. Beer goggles but the kitchen version.”

“Exactly!” Santana replies, “But it was different with her.”

Quinn starts to laugh and Santana flicks a cucumber end at her.

“No, I’m serious! I’ve never met someone who I clicked with like that!” Santana explains.

“How cliché can you be?” Quinn teases.

“Laugh all you want, but it’s true.” As Santana reminisces, Brittany’s smiling face pops up in her imagination. “We shared the same passion for cooking, we were both workaholics so neither of us would get upset if we cancelled at the last minute because we had to cover a shift or we were just too exhausted to do anything but sleep. It meant everything to share that with someone who understood.”

“Okay, fine. That actually sounds really nice,” Quinn replies.

 “It was. We were the dynamic duo,” Santana says. “The way we bounced off of each other and how we were always so in sync. That can’t be replicated. Sorry, Q.”

“Don’t worry. Unlike you, I actually stick to the no dating in the kitchen rule,” Quinn jokes. “But it sounds like you guys were perfect. What happened?”

“Love happened and it ruined everything,” Santana replies dramatically. “I fell in love with her and planned what’s next thinking she’d be there with me. We anticipated these huge job offers once our contracts with the other place finished up and we agreed to decline them so that we could do our own thing together.”

“Like what? Open a restaurant or something?”

“Something like that,” Santana answered. “When the offer came, I declined just like we planned.”

“Shit.” Quinn starts to connect the dots. “She didn’t.”

“That’s right,” Santana says. “I was going to adjust though in order to make things work. I didn’t mind pivoting, but things got weird. She started being secretive; she wouldn’t tell me about the role or who she was going to be working with, she didn’t even tell me where the restaurant was! Then one day I came home to find her waiting with her bags packed. She said the job required her to move, she found out last minute and that this was goodbye.”

Quinn sputters out a disbelieving, “What the fuck?”

Santana avoids eye contact. This part of their story makes her feel so pitiful, but she endures. “She couldn’t even tell me where she was going, only that she’d come back.”

“How long has she been away?” Quinn questions. “Did you guys at least talk during that time?”

“She sent letters but she didn’t write about much. At least, not about what I actually wanted to know like what the hell was going on,” Santana replies. “She did that for about a year.”

“A year!” Quinn’s shocked. “Okay yeah, now I get Alanis being on repeat. That’s ridiculous! Now she’s back and what? She thinks all is forgiven?”

“See? You get it!” Santana is overcome with relief.

“Of course, I get it. I have my own complicated dating history so I completely understand, but this isn’t about me,” Quinn redirects the conversation back to Santana. “So the awards was the first time you’ve seen her.”

“Yup! She wanted to talk that night and I was open to it because, you know, I miss her and I obviously still love her but it’s complicated. She doesn’t get to flash me a smile and bat her eye lashes – it won’t work on me this time.”

“Was?” Quinn repeats. “So you didn’t end up talking?”

“No! Because then I found out that she’s opening a restaurant – something we were meant to do together. How the hell we were supposed to talk about the first bomb she dropped on me when she’s in the middle of dropping another?” Santana lets out a frustrated sigh. “That night was supposed to be about me winning that damn award but I didn’t even feel like celebrating after that.”

“Jesus, Santana…this is a mess,” Quinn says.

“I honestly don’t know what to do. With the new menu needing to be finalized and everything around launch day, I don’t have the mental capacity to deal with her right now.”

“Put it on the back burner then?” Quinn suggests. “It sounds crazy but just focus on the menu and getting the team ready. Whatever you and her need to sort out will still be there after Christmas.”

“That’s true,” Santana sighs. She wonders if she can truly last that long without addressing this though. She and Brittany aren’t known for their restraint – then again, they’ve surely gotten better thanks to the year apart.

“Look, the best thing about working so far away from everything else is that it’s easy to tune things out,” Quinn assures her. “So just do that until you’re ready. Like you said, you’re both workaholics and if she’s opening up a restaurant she’ll be equally as busy.”

 “Yeah, not sure how I can tune her out when that beautiful backstabber’s restaurant is just down the street from us now.”

“Wait a second. She opened up a restaurant near us?” Quinn’s once again shocked, struggling to wrap her head around the news. Now she knows how Santana has felt for the past two weeks!

“Now that I think of it, this is probably karma or something,” Santana says. “I’ve worked my ass off for this but the universe clearly thinks I need to work harder. We were always so good together but what are we apart? This is the universe’s fault. This is it’s shitty way of bringing her back just to turn her into a competitor.”

“Competitor?” Quinn frowns. “I’m not following.”

“Think about it, the Understudy was the only place out here for miles. Now that we’re on the map, Best Regional Restaurant was meant to be ours for the taking not only this year but every year. We were only meant to compete against ourselves, push our own boundaries, but then here she comes ruining that just like she ruined everything back then.”

“Uh, you sure she didn’t pick the area because land is cheap and that old barn was the perfect fixer upper?”

“Please. Nothing is cheap in this economy.” Santana fills with a new sense of purpose. “She did this deliberately. She made this personal.”

Quinn looks at her warily, but ultimately goes with it. This newfound determination is great for morale and maybe it’ll be enough to help Santana push through the kinks of the new menu?

“Okay that’s fine. A little competition won’t hurt,” Quinn says. “We’re fine dining and she’s – well, I don’t actually know what she’s offering but I doubt it’ll be similar. I mean, how many theater-inspired fine dining restaurants do you know of? Besides, what are the chances you two will ever run into each other anyway?”

Santana puts a pin in her plotting and considers Quinn’s point. She’s right, they do offer a pretty niche concept and knowing Brittany – this isn’t her vibe. Quinn could be onto something. She’ll just stick to her routines and focus on nailing a badass menu and if it happens to put Brittany’s place to shame then guess she had it coming.

[sendablequotes]

'Meeting the man of my dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife' -Alanis Morissette | Visit Jar of Quotes for more image quotes.

[limegreenjelllo]

Womanhood as Alanis Morissette lyrics

All I Really Want   And it would knock me to the floor if I wasn't there already If only I could hunt the hunter . . . Do I wear you out You must wonder why I'm so relentless and all strung out I'm consumed by the chill of solitary

Perfect  With everything I do for you The least you can do is keep quiet Be a good girl You've gotta try a little harder That simply wasn't good enough To make us proud

Right Through You   Wait a minute man You mispronounced my name You didn't wait for all the information Before you turned me away Wait a minute sir You kind of hurt my feelings You see me as a sweet back-loaded puppet And you've got meal ticket taste

Forgiven  We all needed something to cling to So we did  I sang Alleluia in the choir I confessed my darkest deeds to an envious man My brothers they never went blind for what they did, But I may as well have In the name of the Father, the Skeptic and the Son.

Head Over Feet  You stated your case time and again I thought about it You treat me like I'm a princess I'm not used to liking that You ask how my day was

Mary Jane I hear you're losing weight again, Mary Jane Do you ever wonder who you're losing it for Well it's full speed, baby In the wrong direction There's a few more bruises If that's the way You insist on heading . . . Please be honest, Mary Jane Are you happy Please don't censor your tears

Not The Doctor  I don't want to be adored for what I merely represent to you I don't want to be your babysitter You're a very big boy now I don't want to be your mother I didn't carry you in my womb for nine months . . . I don't want to be the glue that holds your pieces together I don't want to be your idol See this pedestal is high and I'm afraid of heights

Wake Up No sentimental value to the rose that fell on your floor No fundamental excuse for the granted I'm taken for

Eight Easy Steps  How to stay paralyzed by fear of abandonment How to defer to men in solveable predicaments . . . How to feel worthless unless you're serving or helping someone

Sister Blister  Sister blister we fight to please the brothers We think their acceptance is how we win They're happy we're climbing over each other To beg the club of boys to let us in You and me estranged from the mother You and me have felt impotent in our skin You and me have taken it out on each other

So Unsexy  Somewhere along the way I think I gave you the power to make Me feel the way I thought only my father could . . . I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful So unloved for someone so fine I can feel so boring for someone so interesting So ignorant for someone of sound mind

Unprodigial Daughter  When I'd speak of spirituality you would label it absurd When I spoke of possibility you would frown and shake your head If I had stayed much longer, I'd have surely imploded These are my words This is my house These are my friends of which you've had no part Unprodigial daughter and I'm heading for the west Disenchanted daughter and this plane cannot fly fast enough Unencumbered daughter hit the ground running at last I'd invite you but I'm busy being unoppressed

That I Would Be Good that I would be good if I got and stayed sick that I would be good even if I gained ten pounds

Hands Clean  If it weren't for your maturity none of this would have happened If you weren't so wise beyond your years I would've been able to control myself If it weren't for my attention you wouldn't have been successful and If it weren't for me you would never have amounted to very much

Uninvited  Like anyone would be I am flattered by your fascination with me Like any hot-blooded woman I have simply wanted an object to crave

Sympathetic Character  I have as much rage as you have I have as much pain as you do I've lived as much hell as you have and i've kept mine bubbling under for you

[runaway-train-works]

Get To Know Me 🔍

Thank you to @haztobegood and @himynameiszayn for the tag! 💕

Nickname? Sometimes get called Becca, Bex or B, but I do prefer my full name.

Real name? Rebecca

Zodiac sign? Libra

Favourite musicians/groups? So I tend to listen to playlists of lots of random things more than just albums or specific artists, and I play a lot of 70′s and 80′s music, but I also looked up my most played artists on my Spotify and this is what it came up with: One Direction, Beyoncé, Harry Styles, Disclosure, Lizzo, Little Mix, Ed Sheeran, Drake, Shawn Mendes, Niall Horan, Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox, Snow Patrol, Calvin Harris, Louis Tomlinson, Maroon 5, ZAYN, Phil Collins, Childish Gambino, Rudimental, The Weeknd, Alanis Morissette, Hall & Oats, Rihanna, Queen, CHVRCHES, Michael Jackson, George Ezra, Destiny's Child, Abba, Madonna, Kanye West, Years & Years, Ashanti, Lady Gaga, Elton John, The Jacksons, Adele, Jack Johnson, AC/DC, Dua Lipa.

Favourite sports team? I don’t really watch team sports, more into tennis and athletics and stuff like that. Will always support Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿in every sport though!

Other blogs? I have six side blogs for fests (one is private currently 👀) and I also have two side blogs that I haven’t used, but I’m considering splitting my writing stuff and my 1D thirst stuff up so saved a couple of Harry related URLs in case I ever decide to actually do it. 

Do I get asks? Occasionally. I sometimes do one of the ask memes, but it’s rare I get one out the blue, but I get it, I just chat shit in my tags so not much to ask about haha!

How many blogs do I follow? 182. I recently unfollowed a lot of blogs to try and reduce the amount of stuff I don’t want to see on my dash, so it’s basically just UAs, fest accounts and content makers now. 

Tumblr crushes? So many, you’re all amazing but Dee (@jacaranda-bloom) is my numero uno!

Lucky number? 666

What am I wearing? Some black leggings, a black vest, a denim shirt, a hoodie and slippers. Total chilling out attire. 

Dream vacation? Would love to travel through South-East Asia and also South America.

Dream car? I don’t even drive haha!

Favourite food? Carbs, all of the carbs. 

Drink of choice? I drink too much coca-cola, it’s so bad for me I know. Alcohol-wise it’s gotta be rum, gin or cider. 

Instruments? Nope, never my thing at school which I regret now. 

Languages? A bit of Spanish, but I’m better at listening and reading than speaking. I know swear words in Polish and can say please and thank you in quite a few languages now. 

Celebrity crushes? apart from Harry, it changes all the time. Currently in the midst of a very chronic Maya Jama phase. 

Random fact? I once sky-dived just outside Las Vegas. 

I will tag @jacaranda-bloom, @disgruntledkittenface, @bitter-leaf, @whenthebodiesspeak, @finck-you-freeky, @musiclily and @dimpled-halo if you would like to do this! 

[dearestpartnerofgreatness]

Do the songs for Wyndolls (OBVIOUSLY) and Katniss/Peeta from The Hunger Games

YES THANK YOU btw I did Wyndolls once before so you can find that here 

WYNDOLLS

A song they would slow dance to: “Be Still” by Kelly Clarkson

A song they sing along to in the car: “No Scrubs” by TLC

A song that neither one can listen to after a fight/breakup: “The Night We Met” by Lord Huron

A song that Person A hates but Person B loves: Dolls plays jazz/blues in the office during late nights and Wynonna despises it because come ON, he’s not some wise-cracking detective trying to figure out who pinched Donny in the speakeasy. Her least favorite would be “Stella by Starlight” by Miles Davis if she didn’t think all of the songs sounded exactly the same. 

The songs they would serenade each other with at karaoke: Wynonna loves her some karaoke and knows all the words to “Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix-A-Lot whereas Dolls needs a few drinks to counter with  “Roll Wit Me” by Boyz II Men

A song Person A would sing in the shower while Person B listens in: Wynonna gives a very decent rendition of Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know”  and Dolls would be lying if he said he wasn’t impressed

A song with lyrics that perfectly describe their relationship: “Loved By You” by KIRBY

A song that would play during a love scene between them: “Adorn” by Miguel

A song that relates to an inside joke between them: Wynonna has “Table for Two” by Joe set as Dolls’ ringtone in her phone and Nicole gags every time she hears it 

A song that relates to an AU I’ve created in my head involving this pair: “Ready” by Kelly Clarkson. Five years ago, they met by chance in Europe, and Dolls fell hard for Wynonna. But even though she loved him too, Wynonna felt too hurt by her past to pursue something serious with him. They met again in Purgatory, and remained awkward friends/partners while pining painfully for each other. Eventually, Dolls can’t take it anymore and asks BB to be reassigned. On the day he is set to leave, Wynonna realizes she has to be brave and goes after him to ask him to stay. 

EVERLARK

A song they would slow dance to: “Name” by the Goo Goo Dolls

A song they sing along to in the car: I don’t think they’re this type of couple tbh…

A song that neither one can listen to after a fight/breakup: “I Can’t Make You Love Me” by Bonnie Raitt  

A song that Person A hates but Person B loves: Peeta likes “Waiting for a Girl Like You” by Foreigner for obvious reasons but Katniss thinks it’s embarrassing 

The songs they would serenade each other with at karaoke: Ummmm idk if this would be a thing unless Effie forced them to do it on Caeser’s show, in which case they’d probably do a painfully awkward duet of “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” by Elton John or something equally as kitschy 

A song Person A would sing in the shower while Person B listens in: Peeta is totally the shower-singing type but I think he’d probably just make up songs instead of singing ones that exist in the hopes that Katniss would be listening so he could make her laugh 

A song with lyrics that perfectly describe their relationship: “Beside You” by Marianas Trench

A song that would play during a love scene between them: “Eavesdrop” by The Civil Wars

A song that relates to an inside joke between them: Their child goes through a phase where all they want to do is play Patty Cake and sing the song over and over and over and of course their child finds the song extra hilarious because Peeta is a ‘baker’s man’ and they’re so in love with their little one that even the mention of the song makes them smile

A song that relates to an AU I’ve created in my head involving this pair: “What Baking Can Do” from Waitress (with Peeta singing for Jenna). Katniss and Peeta meet for the first time when he tosses her bread outside the bakery for her starving family. Peeta has been crushing on her forever, but he never knows what to say or how to approach her. So, he does what he does best: he bakes. Katniss doesn’t understand why this weird guy keeps giving her free food but she’s not complaining…and when she accidentally witnesses the physical abuse Peeta suffers at the hands of his family, her savior complex motivates her to befriend him. They fall in love from there…

[tabloidtoc]

Star, February 11

Cover: Kate Middleton Breaks Down, Meghan Markle Is Ruining Her Life 

Page 2: Carrie Underwood’s Miracle Baby 

Page 4: Contents, Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb and Jenna Bush Hager and Jenny McCarthy

Page 6: Heather Locklear’s rehab manhunt 

Page 7: Zac Efron’s diva diet demands, Spice Girls desperate search for a fifth member to replace Posh 

Page 8: Gwyneth Paltrow got her boobs done, looking like Courtney Stodden has made Khloe Kardashian realize she’s gone overboard on the plastic surgery 

Page 9: Fame by A.J. Benza -- Protesters are making Louis C.K. a bigger draw to nightclubs and even Netflix, Teresa Giudice cozying up to the mob to help her jailbird husband Joe, nightclub owner Elie Samaha helped Charlie Sheen so his mansion wouldn’t go into foreclosure 

Page 10: Angelina Jolie has private investigators trailing lovebirds Brad Pitt and Charlize Theron to uncover the dirt 

Page 16: Star Shots -- Gina Rodriguez, Alessandra Ambrosio, Emily Blunt, Uma Thurman and her daughter Maya 

Page 18: Sonequa Martin-Green at the Star Trek: Discovery season 2 premiere, Andy Cohen and Chrissy Teigen and John Legend, Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas and Kevin Jonas

Page 19: Kendall Jenner, Peta Murgatroyd and son 

Page 20: Emma Roberts and fiance Evan Roberts, Naomi Campbell, Vanessa Hudgens 

Page 21: Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale and Rumer Willis 

Page 22: Nikki Reed and Malin Akerman, Allison Janney, Erik Estrada 

Page 24: Arie Luyendyk Jr. and Lauren Burnham, Kit Harington, Jada Pinkett Smith 

Page 25: Sarah Hyland, Natalie Portman 

Page 26: Normal or Not -- Josh Hutcherson, Ryan Reynolds, Jordana Brewster and husband Andrew Form and son 

Page 28: Fashion -- Best of the Week -- Uma Thurman, Jordana Brewster, Nicole Kidman

Page 29: Kate Beckinsale 

Page 30: Hot Sheet -- Meghan Markle

Page 32: Healthy Hollywood -- Kelly Rowland, Elizabeth Hurley, Lea Michele 

Page 34: Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn checking out wedding locations 

Page 35: Christina and Ant Anstead are expecting, Kylie Jenner joining Travis Scott on tour to keep a watch on his wandering eye, Love Bites: Jessica Simpson will have a baby girl name Birdie, Adriana Lima and Metin Hara have split, Cynthia Bailey and Mike Hill will be getting married, Chelsea Clinton expecting her third child with Marc Mezvinsky 

Page 36: Cover Story -- Tearful Kate Middleton’s war with monster Meghan Markle 

Page 42: Stars with Twins -- Laverne Cox and M. Lamar, Aaron and Angel Carter, Kiefer and Rachel Sutherland, Alanis and Wade Morissette, Ashton and Michael Kutcher 

Page 43: Gisele and Patricia Bundchen, Rami and Sami Malek, Vin Diesel and Paul Vincent, Scarlett and Hunter Johansson, Parker and Christopher Posey 

Page 46: Lionel Richie’s son Miles got into fight with airport security, Beth Chapman hasn’t lost her fighting spirit in her battle against throat cancer, Pete Davidson bombed and looked terrible at a stand-up show 

Page 48: Lady Gaga may steal the role of Cleopatra away from Angelina Jolie with the help of Bradley Cooper, Kris Jenner angry when construction workers wouldn’t let her park in Kim Kardashian’s driveway, Adriana Lima, Penelope Cruz 

Page 49: Gerard Butler nauseous after hanging for hours shooting a new commercial but admitted he was making so much money it was worth it, Rob Marshall told Emily Blunt that 93-year-old Dick Van Dyke was seen singing and dancing in the aisles of Ralph’s, blind item 

Page 50: Double Takes -- Paula Abdul vs. Reese Witherspoon 

Page 52: Style -- Victoria Justice 

Page 54: Beauty -- Dove Cameron 

Page 57: Style -- Alessandra Ambrosio 

Page 60: Entertainment 

Page 70: Wait! There’s More! Future shades his ex Ciara’s husband Russell Wilson, Chrissy Teigen’s relationship revelation, Wise Words -- Lin-Manuel Miranda 

Page 72: Parting Shot -- Lady Gaga’s Jazz & Piano show in Las Vegas

[yogaadvise]

30 Brilliant Insights from Mindfulness Trail Blazers

This weekend several of the brightest minds in meditation, neuroscience, modern technology, and well-being satisfied in San Francisco for Wisdom 2.0, a seminar committed to the intersection of mindfulness, company, and also personal development. Over the training course of the three-day gathering, pioneers of contemplative scientific research as well as philosophy such as Jon Kabat-Zinn, Roshi Joan Halifax, and Jack Kornfield shared their understandings about thoughtful, conscious living and the engaging scientific research showing the results of these methods. The thought leaders established the phase for discussion and also connection in between the 2,400 people in attendance, including area advocates, business leaders, and also individual experts making every effort to enact adjustment and also better the dialogue concerning conscious living in their very own rounds. Below is a collection of noteworthy and moving quotes from the event to motivate your very own self-exploration.

' If wakefulness is mosting likely to absolutely be transformative it is mosting likely to require everybody to fully blossom in this life time.' -Jon Kabat-Zinn, teacher of medicine emeritus as well as creator of mindfulness-based stress reduction program at University of Massachusetts Medical Center

' Human beings come into the world with innate basic benefits ... Babies as young as 6 months old have a solid choice to take a look at selfless and warmhearted experiences. There is evidence that other species demonstrate this also.' -Richard Davidson, Ph.D., teacher of psychology and also psychiatry at the College of Wisconsin-Madison and supervisor of the Waisman Laboratory for Brain Imaging and Behavior as well as the Lab for Affective Neuroscience

' I'm just attempting to be myself, whatever that implies, as well as recognize how fleeting everything is, as well as exactly what a romance it all is.' -Jon Kabat-Zinn

' Just what we're sharing [in mindfulness technique] is a capability to be aside, to identify the difference in between being alone as well as being lonely. When we go down in the moment it is profoundly recovery because silence as well as tranquility are recovery.' -Jon Kabat-Zinn

' It's what you are believing and also thinking that is the reason of suffering, not the individual, thing, outside item, or condition.' -Byron Katie, owner of The Work, a procedure of questions in order to help finish suffering

' Qualities like kindness as well as concern are like language, we need to be raised in a linguistic area in order for that organic tendency to create. It may be very similar for compassion, the seeds exist from the beginning ... we require a compassionate area for those seeds to flourish.' -Dr. Richard Davidson

' Some of the most vital conversations are the ones we have with ourselves.' -Sherry Turkle, professor of the social research studies of scientific research as well as innovation at Massachusetts Institute of Innovation, creator as well as supervisor of the MIT Campaign on Modern technology and also Self

' The poets are appointed the task of claiming something significant that words cannot possibly share. All this [self-inquiry] is poetry, and also you are verse.' -Jon Kabat-Zinn

' Become part of the intensity of this moment and also acknowledge suffering and see exactly how you could end suffering in your life and in this world.' -Roshi Joan Halifax

' Among traits that makes contemplative practice different from sporting activities, music, etc., in its effects on the brain is that when we muffle cushion or chair as well as engage in method we invoke the intention that we do this not mostly for me, yet instead, for advantage of others. Conjuring up that objective ... is a radical act of generosity that is so fundamental to the context with which these methods first developed. This is variably maintained. Researchers should study exactly what invoking that objective in and also of itself could do.' -Dr. Richard Davidson

' It starts with us. It's regarding existing every day. Do the deep personal job, it's enjoyable, it's effective, it's jazzing up, it's releasing. I'm 64 and also I have more power than when I was 24 as well as I know its since I'm shedding points that encumbered me. Practice on a daily basis. We matter and also our voices issue.' -Eileen Fisher, designer as well as owner of EILEEN FISHER

' Discomfort is where individuals take note. it's a blunder for us in order to help ease people's discomfort yet to recognize it, follow it, have some insight concerning where do we go next off, as well as have devices where we could be more existing. it's the sturdy atmospheres that permit us to check how well we are able to stand in the center of mayhem.' -Michael Gervais, Ph.D., psycho therapist specializing in high performance and also sports

' Travel is exactly how I make a living, yet tranquility is how I make a life. Traveling is how I enhance your house of my life, however stillness is exactly how I lay the structure.' -Pico Iyer, writer of numerous books consisting of The Art of Stillness

' I'm not worried regarding life after fatality, what i'm most curious about is life prior to death. That is the curriculum regarding i'm worried.' -Jon Kabat-Zinn

' Inspect your watch-it's simply outstanding! It's currently again! It's not also 10 to currently, it's now!' -Jon Kabat-Zinn

' Digital conversation has gotten us familiar with modified life. It may be that unedited life is the most worth living.' -Sherry Turkle

' Consider that is resting on the sidelines, since if we can include them, our conversations will be richer.' -Laura Powers, co-founder and Chief Executive Officer of CODE2040, a nonprofit that creates pathways to success in the technology economic situation for blacks and latino/as

' Vanity develops an actually large split, in which we orient ourselves towards feeding the photo of self as opposed to the actual self.' -Alanis Morissette, singer-songwriter

' I'm also lazy to meditate as well as I'm also unskillful to do yoga, tai chi, or qi gong. If my partner were right here she 'd claim all this individual ever does is meditate. As an author we are paid to rest still, look through the delusions as well as estimates of our thoughts and locate exactly what holds true.' -Pico Iyer

' For as lengthy as room remains, and also as lengthy as beings remain, might I too continue to be as well as resolve the suffering of this globe.' -Roshi Joan Halifax

' Humanity is inside about just how we deal with each other. It's regarding respect, openness, as well as being prone.' -Martin Tracey, vice president of international talent at Starbucks

' Anything that is less than kind [in us] is false recognition.' -Byron Katie

' Concern is not spiritual business, it is human company. It is not a high-end, it is necessary for our own tranquility as well as psychological security. It is essential for human survival.' -Dalai Lama

' Business can't buy interaction, yet they could develop the conditions for credibility in the work environment.' -Golbie Kamarei, worldwide program supervisor for BlackRock Resources's Worldwide Customer and Sales Quality Program

' Individuals don't last long at EILEEN FISHER if they're not kind.' -Eileen Fisher

' Take a breath as well as say this [racism] becomes part of humankind. We were born right into a racist culture and also everyone is touched by it. It remains in us and as a result we really have to recognize the manner in which it is as well as just after that when we've done that the injury whichever component of it you're in ... then you could obtain interested, then you can get quiet.' -Jack Kornfield, introducing meditation educator and also writer of multiple publications consisting of A Wise Heart: An Overview of the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology

' I like treatment. I would certainly never have started my company without it.' -Eileen Fisher

' There are many kinds of jails, consisting of the ones we placed ourselves in.' -Roshi Joan Halifax

' What happens if we might live life as if no person minute is a lot more important than an additional, that's how i see it at the very least.' -Soren Gordhamer, founder of Wisdom 2.0

' Health is not any various from learning to play the violin. If you practice you will certainly obtain much better.' -Dr. Richard Davidson

[dottodotfestival]

D2D IN FOCUS

• LAUREN AQUILINA •

Bristol born singer/songwriter Lauren Aquilina coined her sound with brutally honest piano-led power ballads and rocketed into the spotlight.Gaining recognition from BBC Introducing, The Line Of Best Fit, The Independent and other taste-makers,she was later hand-picked by Taylor Swift as support for her 1989 tour. From this, came the release of her debut album ‘Isn’t It Strange’ through Island Records in 2016.

Following all the attention and success from the album, came an unfortunate and brave struggle with depression that Aquilina has been very open about. For the betterment of herself, she decided to put her career as an artist on hold, and began focusing on songwriting for others. During the first year of her journey into writing, she co-wrote American singer/songwriter Fletcher’s single “I Believe You”, inspired by her own #MeToo experiences. Her strength, in both her talents, and emotional resolve has not gone unnoticed by others in the industry; as she has been working alongside pop’s hottest names, including: Little Mix, BloodPop and Rina Sawayama.

In September 2018 Aquilina had taken almost two years out to compose, create and evolve her own sound, and she is now making the best music of her career so far! Taking inspiration from raw emotion of Alanis Morissette coupled with the soaring pop melodies of Robyn, her comeback single “Psycho” which received 100,000 streams in its first weekend on Spotify, has truly seen her come into her own.

Words by Lauren O'Neill

• SQUID •

Brought together by Brighton and a mutual affinity for Neu!, Squid were launched into the psyche post-punk universe with a spiralling soar. Unsigned and unfazed, this blazing five-piece have made themselves at home on BBC Radio 1 with their single ‘Houseplants’ being featured by presenters Huw Stephens and Jack Saunders.

Having mastered a form derivative of psychedelic rock, electronic dance music and punk, Squid rejuvenate new music with vitality and expression. Their unique combination of genres and writing perspectives create an undeniable groove and lyrics that punch. It was this verve that prompted a collaboration with London producer Dan Carey on their single ‘The Dial’ which was recorded and produced in two days at the Speedy Wunderground studio; known for hosting Franz Ferdinand, TOY and Steve Manson. Carey helped them to reconstruct the track and accelerate the tempo on their reputation.

This band are sure to seize your attention and amplify it into an obsession!

Words by Heather McKendrick

• TALK SHOW • 

Talk Show, a London based 4 piece are embarking on a quest across the country bringing their infectious postmodern punk sound to festival stages this summer.  With influences from prestigious acts such as New Order and Savages their infectious sound has made an impact on the live music scene, making them a band you can't afford to miss. Having recently supported both YAK and Shame, Talk Show had a glimpse of what it's like to dominate on stage and bring a lively performance for the audience to remember.

Having released their heavily anticipated single ‘Fast and Loud’ on April 26th they have been eager to get back on the road and bring their woozy riffs and menacing yet wise vocals back to the stage. Their debut single reflects on the feeling of impending chaos although the track does not preach to the listener, more so it reflects front man Harrison Swans thoughts on people and cities. 

Taking inspiration from a dystopian South London, the track ‘Fast and Loud’ ties its passionate and thoughtful lyrics with the rhyme and chime of infamous Dr John Cooper Clarke‘s Beasley Street. The result is a song built on brutal guitar and chiming synths, brought together with lyrics that grip the listener and deliver an impact everyone can enjoy.

We can’t wait for Talk Show to grace the stage at Dot To Dot and deliver their larger than life riffs and an energy that will have the room bouncing. 

Words by Callum Riley

[summerdutkowsky]

Music: 1, 2, 6-8, 11-20, 22

…..these are all going to end up being Delta Rae, I hope everyone knows that

1: Do you prefer CDs or records? records2: What is the last album you bought? A Long and Happy Life // Delta Rae6: A song you listen to when you feel overwhelmed? Chasing Twisters // Delta Rae7: What is your go to tidy-your-room album? Anything upbeat. I usually put on my Joan Jett record 8: What is the first album you bought? Jagged Little Pill // Alanis Morissette at a thrift shop in town and I was so proud11: Which album is your favourite from your favourite band or artists discography? After It All // Delta Rae. The first album is good but the second one is where they hit their stride with lyrics and sound12: What album so you know all the words to? After It All // Delta Rae, any Spice Girls, Jagged Little Pill // Alanis Morissette, all Green Day13: Most played album? All the Delta Rae albums14: Live albums or studio albums? Studio always15: Do you collect greatest hits albums? No, unless I don’t h ave any of the albums then I may get it but I don’t collect them16: An album you’d die to see played live? Hayley Kiyoko’s album for sure17: Favourite movie soundtrack? Can I be cheesy and say Guardians of the Galaxy? 18: Album you grew up listening to? Any and all Green Day, a lot of 80′s hair bands, and a lot of girl groups19: Favourite album of this year so far? Broken People // Muddy Magnolias20: Favourite album, lyric wise? Carry The Fire // Delta Rae22: A song you have cried to? So many but Shelter From the Storm is one that will always make me cry no matter what

[chocolatequeennk]

Write all the Words, 3/31

I’m so excited to finally be in Journey’s End. :D I worked through an entire chapter tonight, taking me all the way through the scene where the TARDIS is “destroyed.” It’s fun to write that from the Doctor’s point of view, because you know that had to be the biggest bluff ever--there’s no way he actually thought the TARDIS was gone. Not unless the ship managed to block their connection somehow.

ANYWAY. It gets even better when it’s Rose and the TARDIS together. 

But the excerpt is from the beginning of the chapter... because frankly, that end scene has way too many important spoilers. So this scene replaces various reunions and interfering Daleks at the end of Stolen Earth. 

Word count: 

FANA: 3294 Deleted: 991 Purple Prose: 649

--------------

The four members of the TARDIS family stared at each other across the centre console after she landed. “Come on,” the Doctor said quietly after a moment. “The only way out is through, according to some wise person… Robert Frost, or maybe Alanis Morissette.” Rose walked beside him down the ramp and nodded encouragingly when he looked at her before opening the door.

It was dark as night outside, even though it was only late afternoon. The TARDIS had landed in the middle of a street in front of a church, and while that parking job would typically be a problem, the abandoned cars littering the street said it would not today.

The door clicked shut behind them, and then Donna said, “Like a ghost town.”

“Sarah Jane said they were taking the people,” the Doctor mused. “What for?”

He squeezed Rose’s hand. “Did Mickey tell you anything in your dream, Rose?”

She shook her head. “Nothing. Just… that the stars were going out, and I needed to tell you.”

The Doctor huffed. “What does that even mean? The stars are going out?”

“Well, we were kind of hoping you could explain it to us,” called out a familiar voice.

Rose and the Doctor spun around, their mouths gaping open when they saw Mickey, leaning against the corner of the church, casual as you please.

“Mickey!” Rose dropped the Doctor’s hand and ran to her friend, letting him sweep her up in a hug.

A laser blast sent them all diving for cover, but when it was immediately followed by an explosion, they cautiously looked towards the other end of the street, where Jack Harkness stood behind a smoking hulk of a Dalek.

“You know,” he remarked casually as he lowered his enormous weapon. “You should really be more careful. There are Daleks around, after all.”

[hearfind]

Find happiness and peace in these quotes

Looking to find a bit of peace and happiness during these difficult times? Then look no further than these quotes curated by the Hearfind review team.

"You find that you have peace of mind and can enjoy yourself, get more sleep, and rest when you know that it was a one hundred percent effort that you gave—win or lose." —Gordie Howe

"Peace of mind for five minutes, that's what I crave." —Alanis Morissette

"At the age of 18, I made up my mind to never have another bad day in my life. I dove into an endless sea of gratitude from which I've never emerged." —Patch Adams

"It's perfectly okay to make a decision and then change your mind. Being able to change your mind is the best way to find out you still have one." —William E. Lewis, Jr.

"You must weed your mind as you would weed your garden." —Astrid Alauda

"If you can change your mind, you can change your life.” —William James

"A wise man changes his mind, a fool never." —Spanish Proverb

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." —Aristotle

"As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives." —Henry David Thoreau

"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world." —Buddha

"The mind has exactly the same power as the hands; not merely to grasp the world, but to change it." —Colin Wilson

"Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment." --Iara Gassen

For more great content to make you happy, check out Hearfind today.

[sendablequotes]

'Meeting the man of my dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife' -Alanis Morissette | Visit SendableQuotes.com for more quotes.

[mikeyd1986]

MIKEY’S PERSONAL BLOG 107, June 2018

On Monday morning, I went down to the gym at YMCA Casey ARC and decided to divide my time between two different workouts: a 30 minute CX Works group fitness class and a 30 minute session on the treadmill. Being the first week of June, it was also the start of this year’s Get-Group Fit Winter competition. Unfortunately there didn’t have the stamp cards ready for printing in time today so I’ll have to grab one later this week.

It was my first time doing a CX Works class so naturally my mind was distracting me at times with anxious thoughts (I don’t know what I’m doing. Am I doing this correctly? Shit I have to move my equipment. I can’t keep up). But I did try to cut myself some slack considering I’m not used to this and it is Monday morning. As always, I learn mostly from observation so all I needed to do was see what everyone else was doing from grabbing equipment to doing the exercises. https://lesmills.com.au/cxworx

CX Works is a mixture of Pilates and Resistance Training with a focus on improving your core muscles, strength and posture. The fitness instructor Melanie thankfully demonstrated the movements very clearly with exercises including Crunch Pulses, Bridge Pose, Criss-Cross, Cross over Mountain Climbers and Dynamic Lunges and Squats (using the resistance bands). We also did a few movements using the weight plates including extensions and double leg lifts. It was a really tough class physically but considering it was my first time, I think I did pretty well. https://www.lesmills.com/fit-planet/fitness/the-complete-ab-guide/

During my treadmill workout, I pretty much came to the conclusion that running is not for me. I’ve never really enjoyed running and honestly I’m okay with that. That’s not to say I can’t run. When it comes to short sprints, I can really explode with power as I discovered last year during my PT sessions. But when it comes to endurance running, I burn out far too easily and heavy panting is not fun for me at all.

So I was comfortable just going at a power-walking pace today around 5-6 kmh. I also experimented a little with the incline function to tilt the treadmill upwards and therefore increase resistance. I figure that as long as I’m getting my heart-rate up and I’m burning calories then I’m technically doing a workout, which is good enough for me. I put it on Rolling Hills mode and watched some lovely scenery of Venice and Auckland on the screen. https://www.caseyarc.ymca.org.au/gym/strength-training-equipment

On Tuesday morning, I had an Employ Your Mind session with my support worker Ally Lamb at WISE Employment - Cranbourne Office. Like last week, today was another very small group with only Ally, Monika and myself in attendance (very much like an episode of Survivor without the elimination ceremony). In today’s session, we continued our discussion about conversations, this time focusing on how to actually start one.

Some of the suggestions of starting a conversation includes: Take a deep breath and smile, make a comment about the location, make eye contact and ask open ended questions. Next we brainstormed some ideas about open vs. closed questions. I found this pretty challenging as it’s an area I tend to struggle with. However, I came up with “What did you do on the weekend?” and “How can I help you today” under open questions and “How are you today?” under closed questions. https://www.wikihow.com/Start-a-Conversation-When-You-Have-Nothing-to-Talk-About

The second part of the session involved applying the tips and skills about starting conversations to our projects. Mine is Becoming a Barista and so I came up with the following open ended questions: How did you get into the hospitality industry? What qualifications would I need to become a barista? How much work experience do I need in order to become a barista? Lastly, we started researching the questions in order to find out more about our project topics. http://baristacoursemelbourne.com/#baristacourse

On Tuesday night, I did an RPM class with Kay at YMCA Casey ARC in Narre Warren. Thankfully the Get Group Fit stamp cards had arrived and there was a whole pile of them on the desk in front of the Group Fitness studio. I honestly had one of the best RPM classes tonight. I walked out feeling proud of myself thanks in large part to the instructor Kay who was very positive and motivating. Calling us things like “Crew” and “Champions” which may not seem like much to some people but to someone like me, it’s everything.

It was good to hear a few different tracks in the mix tonight including Lorde’s Green Light and Flo Rida’s Good Feeling. There were some steep mountain climbs, HIIT style attacks and fast racing sections. I honestly felt like I was on Cloud 9 with a huge rush of adrenaline. I was really proud of my results tonight which includes: KCal = 440 calories. Distance = 21 km. Max. Speed = 131 RPM. Max. Resistance Level = 54%. Probably one of my best performances in a while.  https://www.lesmills.com/workouts/fitness-classes/rpm/

Following on from the chat I had with my support worker Ally Lamb yesterday, I could pretty much write a novel when it comes to my opinion of the Centrelink system. It is majorly flawed with often harsh and unrealistic thresholds to me their requirements. You could get a claim knocked back simply for making an accidental error on a form, not having enough points during an assessment or not providing enough evidence despite the fact that you SHOULD be getting benefits. It’s a bunch of bullshit and yet here I am again trying my luck to apply for the Low Income Health Care Card.

On Friday morning, I went to my local Centrelink office in Cranbourne to get my proof of identity documents validated. Unfortunately what was meant to be something very simple turned into a complex nightmare. It turns out there was a lot of confusion surrounding my name at birth and the system wasn’t having it. Initially I thought that my Maiden name was RAINEY after my Dad and I put this on my claim form. But it turns out this was a mistake and I was actually born a DIXON. Internally I was exploding with frustration (Are you fucking kidding me?), not that at the Centrelink staff but at the system itself.

For starters, it’s not something I think about very often. The surname of RAINEY is still such a huge emotional trigger for me because I associate it with my Dad. If you’ve been reading my blogs, you’ll know that the relationship with my Dad is a very distant, basically non-existent one and it still upsets me. I’ve always craved a true father figure in my life, to be a physical support and role model in my life. It’s part of the reason why I don’t feel 32 years old and probably will never feel my biological age.

But yes the truth is that I’ve always been a DIXON and I made an error on my Low Income Health Care Card application. It’s just that I was hoping this would be a very easy requirement for me to fulfill and I walked out of Centrelink feeling defeated and pissed off. Having a claim rejected on a technicality is not a pleasant thing to deal with. Believe me, many swear words were said afterwards. However, I have faith that I can get this mess sorted out but the whole situation has rattled me so I may have to hit the reset button on my claim. You live, you learn as Alanis Morissette once said.    https://www.humanservices.gov.au/individuals/enablers/confirm-your-identity

On Friday night, I went to my Yoga class with Jade Hunter at YMCA Casey ARC. After all the drama that unfolded from my Centrelink visit today, this was exactly what I needed to do in order to de-stress and forget about my day. I do find Jade’s classes to be physically challenging but with enough flexibility to modify each pose if needed. It was a pretty full class tonight in the Creche which is always a good thing because there’s plenty of space.

Tonight we focused on the chakra of the Solar Plexus which resides behind the belly button. It’s colour is a bright golden yellow like the sun and is associated with digestion, confidence, power and self-esteem. https://www.doyouyoga.com/5-yoga-poses-to-balance-the-solar-plexus-chakra-26778/

Some of the poses and movements we did during tonight’s class include:

Vinyasa Flow Sequence: Baby Back Bend, Standing Forward Fold, Half-Lift, Downward Facing Dog, Plank, Chaturanga, Cobra/Updog. https://www.yogajournal.com/yoga-101/types-of-yoga/vinyasa-yoga

Dancing Warrior Sequence: Three Legged Dog, High Lunge, Warrior 2, Triangle Pose, Reverse Warrior.  http://www.yogamagazine.com/dancing-warrior-2/

Strength & Core: Boat Pose, Dolphin Pose, Crane pose, Shoulder Stand, Plow pose, Bridge pose, Happy Baby. https://www.yogajournal.com/poses/types/strength

Seated Poses: Wide Legged Forward Fold with Side Bend, Staff Pose with Forward Fold, Half Lord of the Fishes pose. https://www.yogajournal.com/poses/types/seated-twists

[404witchnotfound]

The only time I've ever yelled in a grocery store was when Everything by Alanis Morissette came on and it was the version where "asshole" got replaced by "nightmare" in the opening lyric ("I can be an asshole of the grandest kind"). Because first of all, asshole isn't a huge deal to me cuss-word wise. And second of all, changing it to nightmare completely changes the impact and connotation of the lyric.

[sendablequotes]

'Meeting the man of my dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife' -Alanis Morissette | Click here for more daily quotes.