#in this world i dont have a fear of butterflies. and wouldnt pass out in a butterfly exhibit

[forestofsprites]

mutuals to sit in underwater aquarium tubes with. mutuals to wander through botantical garden butterfly exhibits with. mutuals to visit art museum sensory shows with. and such

[anne-i-write]

moriarty the patriot headcannons pt. 1

| requested by anon: Can you write about all male characters in moriarty has a same look of their  children and hpw many children they want? |

william x reader; louis x reader; albert x reader; sebastian x reader; fred x reader

word count: 2397

pt. 2: 221b boys

a/n: I DONT KNOW WHY I DIDNT WRITE THIS EARLIER IM SO SORRY THIS REQUEST HAS LITERALLY BEEN IN MY INBOX FOR SO LONG I AM SO SORRY I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS

william: 487 words

with his whole plan to clean the world of the filthy nobles, william never really stopped to think about having children

well, until he met you

you both were in town one day and he saw you fondly watching a child speak with her mother

“i think two children would be nice”

“i didn’t even ask”

“i know, but the look you gave that mother was telling enough”

n e ways he is a simp and he did eventually give you what you wanted

fast forward a few years, you have two children: a boy and a girl

and they look exactly like their father

like,, it lowkey pains you how much they physically take after their father

you wanted to be like “oh they have your personality, but they look just like me!”

no

granted, your son took after you in an emotional sense but your daughter was a daddy’s girl through and through

like she looks like him, she acts like him, speaks like him, she even EATS like him

ok but the men w your children

fred is a freaking sweetheart ok

like he’ll watch over the kids when no one has the time and they love him too so they’ll help out in the garden which you are SO thankful for

tbh they only like uncle albert bc he brings them lil trinkets from when he gets back from london LMAO

louis doesn’t show it, but he absolutely adores your children and makes extra snacks for them at tea time

you caught onto this at one point bc for some REASON your kids would not stop bouncing off of the walls before bed and they told you uncle louis gave them chocolate

and sebastian loves messing w your kids bc,,, sebastian

but he accidentally made your son cry ONCE and he was at the mercy of every adult in the moriarty estate including the boy’s younger sister

needless to say, he watched his actions and words around your children after that

now, william

i’m just gonna say this straight out: most of the men never really thought about having kids (save john and albert)

but when you finally had kids, william had a different outlook on life

like fr,, this man works overtime now trying to get rid of the filth that is called nobles

he doesn’t want his kids to be raised in a world where just because you have more money than another means you get to look down on them

you still instill in them those good morals ofc

he also tries to be very present in their lives since he and his brother were raised as orphans

when he was younger, he didn’t mind it all much

but now that he had this small family and a brighter future, he did everything in his power to make sure they’re happy and grow up in a cleaner and kinder world

louis: 320 words

it took you a week to get him to at LEAST humor you

“if you could, how many kids do you want?”

“none”

like, this guy is so dedicated to his brother and his cause it is a WONDER you somehow wormed your way into his heart

but you did and honestly, the brothers are actually very happy that you’re with them

william especially

louis rarely emotes but when you came into their lives, you got louis pissed at one point and everyone was like,,,, wtf?? he has emotions???

anyways, his answer is one kid LMAO

and when you get that one kid, he looks just like louis

yall already KNOW that he’s ready to die for that child as soon as louis holds him in his arms

the only kid sebastian wouldnt even try to mess with

he can deal with william’s albert’s or fred’s kids but louis lowkey intimidates him so he’s as nice as he can be

that being said, louis teaches his kid how to properly handle stuff around the house

you want to cry bc ur son is just so??? the little kid just loves helping out no matter how small the task and he’s just so cute it hurts

even sebastian’s kinda like,, “aight he’s the only kid i will tolerate”

louis grew up with only his brothers so he also wants to give his son a shot at a normal family

is actually aware at how he thinks he’s indispensable for william’s cause and he doesn’t want his son to end up like him

he also teaches his son some badass fighting moves

oh and louis smiles a lot more too

cried bc his son saw the scar he got on his cheek, rubbed some dirt on his lil face and said “i have daddy’s cool scar now”

all in all his son is the best thing to happen to all of you

albert: 505 words

same as louis in the fact that it takes him a week to answer

“you know you haven’t even answered my question”

“i’m sorry, what did you say?”

“how many kids do you want?”

genuinely takes time to ponder that question

he hadn’t thought of that since his family adopted william and louis

but with you?

“i think two darling girls who take after their mother is enough for me”

pls he’d be so sweet 🥺🥺🥺

you two end up having a girl and a boy, who look just like their father

and tbh, you’re not even mad

you love them so much so when albert comes back north, the three of you are ecstatic

the happiness was short lived for albert tho

he found his son spending time with william and there’s nothing bad right????

“where’s your sister?”

“she’s with mr. moran”

his heart DROPPED

out of all the people in the manor

HIM

he sees the two running around the garden

it all happened as soon as albert’s daughter went up to sebastian and said “you’re very pretty! you’re my knight now!”

he decided to “adopt” the little girl and now he’s lowkey whipped

you found albert staring at sebastian playing with his daughter and updated him about everything going on

“but him??”

“he’s just a big softie for her let it go”

isn’t really surprised when he finds out they can fight a little

actually glad that they can hold their own, God forbid anything happens to them

otherwise mi6 has to deal w family matters lmao

“albert, she only tripped”

“you shouldve seen the fear in her eyes as she fell”

“IT WAS A STRAY COBBLESTONE”

would raise hell if anyone even THOUGHT ill of his kids

william and louis are the doting uncles

william more so than louis bc your kids have never seen louis smile

now they’re on a mission to make uncle louis smile

louis was on child duty one day and they managed to slip away

omyGOD he was stressed but also,, extremely worried

so when he found them he had the most genuine smile on his face

your daughter was like (・∀・)

she loves uncle louis

ofc your son adores his dad like,,, who else wouldn't feel awesome at the age of 10 if you found out your dad was a high ranking general

feels superior to sebastian bc of his dad

lmao this 4’5 kid thinks he can rule sebastian for some odd reason

the house is always dirty bc him and sebastian always prank each other

your daughter is trying to catch a butterfly but she can’t so fred helps

instantly loves fred

“is that what heartbreak is”

“i guess that’s what happens when you try to get close to my kids colonel”

albert is kind of afraid of turning into his dad but he has you and everyone else to remind him that: no you are not your father, you are so much better than him

loves your family with his entire being

sebastian: 844 words

“i see you looking at those kids and the answer is none”

lmao you’ll get so pouty around him bc you want kids dammit

that and he spoils you to no end so that's why you’re pouty lol

“fine we’ll only do one kid and bc one kid is all i can tolerate”

bruh

this man gives you three in four years LMFAO

two boys a year apart and a girl in the fourth year

you wanted to smack sebastian

when the two boys grew up, it was obvious they were already taking after their father in the physical sense

it was terrifying

they genuinely look like mini sebastians and you know everyone in the manor is afraid that you two birthed satan

and the satan was your eldest one

he’s just a feral sebastian moran in a tiny body

your second son, god bless him, looked just like his father but with fred’s temperament

and see, you were fine with your sons looking like their father

it was FINE right

you prayed to God that your third child would have at least some physical resemblance to you

your daughter was birthed, she grew up

and you cried

“HOW DO THEY ALL LOOK LIKE YOU”

“i’ve got some strong genetics, baby”

you sulk for a lil bit

but you accept it anyway because you love your goddamn kids

thankfully, your second and youngest child are both soft spoken and it's only your husband and his tiny clone bringing hell to earth

smacking sebastian bc all of your children suddenly started swearing up a storm at each other

“WHYD YOU HIT ME”

“YOURE THE ONLY ONE WHO SWEARS AROUND THE KIDS”

finally sitting down and trying to convince them to stop swearing

“father does it!”

“your father’s stupid”

speaking of your daughter

she’s his little princess and no he will not take criticism

spoils her more than he spoils you

did she glance at a toy at a passing store?

he buys more toys than he should from said store

you have to physically hide some of his money bc there is only so much you can buy

and her older brothers are so caring you want to sob

if a person accidentally shoved her over bc she was tiny and they couldn’t see her

oh boy

get ready to restrain them like chihuahuas

“little sister will be protected at all costs”

since his second son is so different from him, sebastian actively makes time to talk about what the little boy is doing and what he’s getting from it

doesn’t want to be pushy and suffocating like his dad was so when his younger kid does want to be left alone to his devices, sebastian does so

but honestly loves that your second son is so literate

lddhsajdsfk what yall dont know is that they’re all in cahoots

kinda funny to see them all together bc they all take after their father so much it's like having three tiny sebastians go around town

anyways,,,, yall know the promised neverland right

you got ray, norman, and emma

granted one of them wasn’t as smart as ray but he definitely knew what stealth was

regular sibling rivalry was still a thing but if they could smell the pudding from the kitchen, they know they have to work together

sebastian caught his eldest smuggling biscuits into a small bag

he had half a mind to scold him

but then he ended up giving tips TO ALL HIS CHILDREN on how not to get caught next time—

bc of this they beg him to tell them some stories from afghanistan bc “there’s no way a man as old as dad knows this many stealth tactics”

louis is so fed up lmao

albert is in london most of the time so he just thanks the lord that he doesn’t have to deal w the propaganda that sebastian feeds his children about how “mr. albert is a bad man”

william is fine w it as long as they don’t trash the library

your younger ones love the library so they would cry at the thought of one of the books losing any of the pages

your second and your daughter are definitely the moriartys’ favorites

they don’t show it, but you just KNOW

your eldest could care less about that though

as long as you and his father still love him

and of course you both do

and fred is definitely your youngers favorite

they like to hang out in the garden

ok they still fight all the time though

just because your second child is soft spoken doesn't mean he’s afraid to throw hands

their sister likes to join in for the hell of it

but if someone wrongs any of the children

just because the younger ones are the moriartys’ favorite, doesn’t mean that they’re not gonna hunt someone down if they even think about trying to hurt the eldest too

yeah,,, good luck to them and their families

they got the entire moriarty estate coming after them

fred: 241 words

cmon yall are like,, young

but you did ask him bc you were curious if he thought about it

he wants one

and when yall do have the kid, you guys actually do have one kid and its a girl

since you both are young, you can immediately see a resemblance between her and her father

everyone who meets her would die for her

ABSOLUTE CUTIE

especially when she walks around the garden w her hand in her dad’s and he’s showing her all the plants and telling her how to take care of them

needless to say she grows up loving plants

any type of plant

the boys love giving her flowers or anything from bc she has the biggest smile every single time

no matter if it’s just a single rose or a rock

this was found out one time when sebastian gave her a rock bc everyone else had given her like,, two roses each

was afraid she was gonna cry

“thank you so much mr. moran! i will treasure this until i get old!”

she was like 4 at the time

and had the widest smile you’ve ever seen on her

guys u don’t understand she smiles a lot but this was like,, genuine happiness

but everyone was just,, i will destroy the world and myself if anything happens to her

fr it’s just sunshines and rainbows every single time she’s around

everyone just loves her ok

moriarty the patriot general taglist: @zoehanji

[captain-jinguji]

Sorry for asking again because your writing is good but what would the boys, (all 3 or 2 or even 1! Your choice!) Reactions be if their crush that they had a crush on for 1234567810 years confesses that they like them? How would they be?

Hey love! Theres NO LIMIT to how many requests you can send, so send as many as you want! I feel like HEAVENS doesn't get a lot of love so i wrote for all of them :3

STARISH + QUARTET NIGHT + HEAVENS reacting to their crush liking them back 

STARISH: 

Natsuki: 

Doesn't even let you finish the sentence before he embraces you. All he heard was "...and I like you, like, as more than a friend." And was overcome with joy. "Awee! I was so worried (Y/N)-chan! I thought you didnt like me like that. I'm so glad you feel the same!!" 

Tokiya: 

Was planning to tell you over a cute little date. Had everything planned out and the dinner went so perfect. He was so nervous underneath his little façade and took your hand in his to kind of ground himself but then you blurted out that you like him and he was kind of shook? He was the one who was supposed to say it? What? Just blinks at you for a second and then softly smiles "I was just about to say that but i suppose you beat me to it. I like you too, (Y/N), I hope we can expand our relationship." 

Cecil: 

You were probably listening to one of his stories of Agnapolis when you just commented how cute he was by accident and silence fell over you two. He'd try to laugh it off at first until he realizes the opportunity but then you apologized and said that you always thought he was attractive and that you like him way more than a friend and hes overcome with such joy! 10/10 jumps into your arms and tells you that he's felt the same way. "I love you, too, my princess!" Plz dont comment on how he went straight to the big words. He truly does love you. 

Ren: 

Doesnt talk about his feelings and tried to avoid them for soooo long but then you just had to go ahead and step in front of him like that. On one hand, a huge pressure is lifted off of his chest that you feel the same way, on the other hand he wanted to confess in the most romantic way possible? "Lady… *chuckles* I was supposed to tell you that. Either way, I feel the same way." 

Otoya: 

Honestly it's so obvious that he likes you because he's just a blushing stuttering mess all the time around you. He always thought he messed up his chances by being so awkward so when you tell him you like him too he almost breaks down crying because omg you like him too!!! Grabs your shoulders and almost yells, "I like you too (Y/N)! A-and i have for a while… youre so pretty and kind and you never judge… and funny and you stick around and I want you to be with me forever and…." Please just love this boy ;-; 

Syo: 

You guys were so close and it was almost painful every time you'd do the simplest things together. You could be walking down the hall and your hands accidentally brushed or watch King of Fighting and you just happen to lay your head on his shoulder. God he has been falling for you so bad and he just couldn't bring himself to say so, but when you had the guts and told him that you like him too, he almost had a heart attack. "(Y/N)... This whole time I wanted to tell you that… I cant believe you feel the same" softly embraces you and doesnt let go for a while; hes so happy. 

Masato: 

Boy he likes to think he can hide his crush pretty well and apparently so except that everyone knows except you two. He is so nervous all the time, so scared of messing up and or you finding him boring and not impressive enough. But every time you sit together and talk about life and every time you're willingly close to him he feels like he does have a chance and then he actually does? Almost spits out his tea when you tell him and you might take it as a negative response so he quickly apologizes and explains that he likes you too "... Y-you have been on o-on my mind and i-in my heart  for s-so long and… I can't keep this inside me a-any longer… I like you too, p-please be m-mine..?" So nervous. Almost passes out. Never thought this would happen. 

QUARTET NIGHT 

Reiji: 

Somewhere in his mind he had no doubt about the fact that you like him too, but still he couldn't shake off the feeling of what would happen if you did not see him as that. He's getting old, and he knows, and any relationship that may come his way, he wants that one to be the last because he doesn't have time for games anymore… so when you tell him that you believe he's the one and that you want to be with him for as long as possible he's so shook. "(N/N)-chan… I'm so happy you feel the same way!! I've liked you for so long… be mine?!" Goes in to hug you and somehow almost kisses you which may or may not have been intentional. 

Ranmaru: 

Doesnt wanna talk about it. Only Reiji knows about his crush and ONLY because Reiji is nosy AF. Thinks he could have a shot but thinks you deserve better. So terrified of rejection no cap. Was gonna take his feelings to the grave, but then you spilled your own feelings out to him one evening over movies and take out and he almost choked on his pasta. You? Like him? Too??? Literally grabs your shoulders "eh??!! You like me??!! I have literally been trying to tell you that for AGES and here you go so easily saying that? Tch… just be mine already, babe." Grumpy emotional. Just lay your head on his chest and watch his blush spread across his cheek plz. It's adorable. 

Camus: 

He had everything to offer you and more and yet he could just not bring himself to tell you how he feels. His pride wouldnt let him. Let someone have emotional control over him? No thank you he will just bury his feelings and hope they go away but oh here you two go again to another pastries shop and somehow you got him to laugh and here we go again with these butterflies. Is so annoyed with himself that he almost didnt catch you confess to him but of course he heard the three words that really matter "...I like you.." He's silent after that for a few moments, mainly because his heart is beating so fast and his brain is replaying the words, and he's trying to maintain a cool persona. Finally settles on a small chuckle and a smile "I like you too… fool…" fool? Mentally slaps himself but you seem to be taking it well since you're laughing. 

Ai: 

Ai has such a hard time understanding what's going on inside him and when he does finally understand, he tries to keep it to himself. But every time he sees you and you interact with him, his heart flutters a bit and he soon realized that he cant keep these feelings in forever. He wanted to take you out to one of your favorite restaurants for lunch and then tell you but halfway through the main course, you just kind of told him yourself and it was said so calmly, like you've said it before and he almost wondered if you two were already together? "You like me, too?" Gets such a cute little smile, "I like you, (Y/N), I have for a while.." :')

HEAVENS 

Eiichi: 

Lolololololol has so much confidence. Of course you'd like him back, hahaha….unless??? Cant manage to tell you in fear of his pride being hurt, but he makes sure to try and show you in small ways? Like buying you lunch, getting you VIP tickets to the concerts, spending time with you, etc… And then one day he's doing exactly that, buying you lunch, because he's memorized your favorite everything, but you tagged along because you wanted to be around him and you just were telling him how appreciative you were of him and everything he does and next thing he knows you're confessing to him and he almost drops the take out box. Shook 103. Almost doesnt know how to answer but his smugness comes back sooner or later "my my my angel… I guess I have to confess that I like you too." Plays it off cool but inside his heart grew by like 65 sizes. 

Kira: 

He's so quiet and honestly love was the last thing on his mind and then you came along and messed it all up. Suddenly he was talking and all of HEAVENS was shook and realized way sooner than Kira ever could. At some point the feelings started overflowing and he cant deny them anymore and you just happen to sit so close and then you take his hand oh? Those were the words he was dying to hear. "... I like you too…" theres a small blush on his face and you find it so cute. 

Nagi: 

Haha feelings are stupid. Denies it. No one is gonna get him to confess. Nada. Niente. But the more he hangs out with you the harder it is to deny. He even tried insulting you and you know what didnt work? That! That didn't work! So one day he just stomps up to you and goes , "Listen here,you little---" "i like you, nagi-san!!" Did you just interrupt him? No, wait did you just confess to him???!!" Taken aback. Nagi doesnt work for a second. "Y-you.. Do? Well good thing you feel the same because I was just about to tell you that." Plays it off cool, died on the inside. 

Eiji: 

Precious little thing doesnt know what to do with himself and these feelings. Is so nervous around you but tries to not overstep any lines. LOVES to hang out with you and play stupid board games with you, so one night when youre over and you guys are playing UNO, he is almost ready to tell you, but then you said it and his soul left his body for a minute. So overcome with happiness he almost cries, "oh (Y/N)... I like you too… I'm so happy you feel the same!" 

Van: 

Cute. Of course he was gonna fall for someone eventually but this was just SO unexpected. You came into his life and rocked his world in such an unexpected way… suddenly flirting with you doesnt become easy and he is trying so hard to not mess up and ugh here he is trying to explain his feelings to you and wait did you just kiss him and then tell him you feel so deeply for him? Aidjsjqjjasjqoqooosn. SO taken aback. Actually blushes a little? Is this real? Immediately pulls you in and tells you the same, "oh angel! I feel the same way and… can I get another try at that kiss?" 

Yamato: 

Denies his feelings by taking laps and going rock climbing, basically anything to get his mind off of you and focused on something else. Cant tell you, too scared of rejection. So when you asked to join him on one of his runs he almost freaks out because now he HAS to talk to you or it'll be awkward. Halfway through the run you take a water break and you knew that now was the time. "Yamato, I have a crush on you." He was ready for the next 2 and a half kilometers when his knees almost gave out at hearing you say that. Swears on God his heart stopped beating for a second, "good, because otherwise this would be really awkward" and kisses you? He has no clue how he got that confidence and his face is turning all shades of red right after but at least now you know, right? 

Shion: 

His whole life he tried to prove to everyone that he was worth it. And then you came along and you saw that he was worth it and you never expected anything of him, and it is such a nice feeling to just be accepted by someone… he couldnt help but fall for you. Shion wanted to be yours so badly, wanted for you to be his so badly, so when those words left your perfect lips, so many stones fell off his shoulders. He visibly relaxed beside you and gently took your hand in his, "i like you too… Thank you, (Y/N)..." 

[in-paradox-space]

i wrote this 3 weeks ago and scheduled it to post today

I started a story some time ago but ive been putting off continuing it because it felt like a chore

if i write it this way its easier so I started it here

its fiction

if i abandon it then oh well fuck it

so somehow I remembered this tumblr

uhh its been a while

usually when I change I write it down

a notepad or someshit

an online blog makes more sense because it’s always there

but I’d probably forget I have it

this time I haven’t wrote anything

I didn’t keeP tRack of the dAte

well to be honest

i do remember wrIting the firSt day, and it was in NotEpad, saved in Documents

I can checK but I likE the mystery 

oK i checked and it was 10/09

now is 28/10

so i have roughly 7 weeks until I change again

I’d like to quickly sum up everything I’ve experienced in these past 5 weeks

but my mind is blank

it’s all I’ve been thinking about

how i should sum everything up

thoughts of things that happen pop into my mind

I think wow  i should write that down

but it feels like a chore

i think it’s just the person i am right now 

they’re kind of like that but it’s a lot to explain, which is exactly why i should have been explaining it this time 

i really like being her

i need more time with her

its so…. strange

im friends with her boyfriend

Lilly, I’m talking about now

well, her name is Lily  but uh im such a loser I want to spell it Lilly because it’s Lilly like the flowers and the lillies were our thing

but now he’s giving her lillies 

and its so strange, he knows he only does it because it was our thing

and he knows I know

and I can’t be mad at him, I just want Lily to be happy and I see that sparkle in her eyes

the way she kisses him

its almost like how she used to kiss me but its different now

the same butterflies aren’t there but something else is

it’s serious and they actually are starting to get used to each other

but in a long term kind of way

and he’s going to be with her all that time which makes me a little sad

because he’s only with her because of me and I want to be with her instead

(it’s 4:13 am rn btw, thats the homestuck number) 

but he’s also probably with him because he wanted to be with her, which is probably why i wanted to be with her

and I still see her every day 

but it’s as a friend

and its like she doesnt know its me but maybe she does

and we had that one kiss as the person I am now

she can say she was stoned or she was drunk but i…

i dont know 

she wouldnt have done that with somebody else under the influence

its just strange

we all hangout together and we’re the best of pals

but we’re inside each others head and we share the same memories

it’s so strange but it doesnt make me feel unhappy

I’m so happy just being with them

I have school and shit I guess but thats just always there, wherever I go 

and the person I am right now doesn’t care much about that

Alexis - who I am now

it’s hard to tell really what the fuck is going on with her

everybody called her Alex and I was constantly wondering if she was a boy or if she wanted to be a boy or what

but nah she’s just chill I guess

it’s so hard to find makeup in her room 

and her hair is like mid length idk 

like the main character from life is strange, if you saw her you’d understand

and like im saying

im just so at peace being with them. Just being who I am now, being around Lilly, being with john

we hold hands and lmao it’s weird but she doesn’t think anything of it

it’s strange does she not sense that it’s me under this cover? 

I want to explain it to her so much

but she would just think I’m fucking around and it’d be cruel

but I’m just so happy with them

and I dont want it to end

but in roughly seven weeks it will change. 

au reviour 

hello new life

goodbye lilly

goodbye john

you wont even know I left 

I’ll forget you 

but my my, will I ever feel the same with the friends I make afterwards

I’m at peace with them. just laughing and nothing can hurt us when we’re in that moment

no embarrassment or shame can fault us

we live in the moment and we pass life by

but it’s always in the back of my mind

and the fear is becoming terrifying

there’s a panic, with an upside down grin on its face

an expression of falling into the abyss of my mind for 3 months

and i can feel it

who I truly am just watching this from the inside, falling and falling

and sure I could talk to a fucking counseller or some shit about this but id just switch places in 3 months 

and its not like they would level with me

man fuck that

there’s got to be people out there who know how this feels

man 

I’m just so happy with where I am right now

If I could stay like this for one or two years until i naturally move on I’d be so fucking happy 

I would be content.

but its just gonna change beneath my feet within 7 weeks

and I wont have true closure

I should be used to this

and I new i shouldnt have got close when I met her

i need to talk to john about this 

i didnt want to know how long I had left

but i feel happy after checking when i wrote my last entry

am i doing the maths right? 7 weeks is good, I thought maybe 3 or 4.

….

ok nah. 

I checked and I have 4 weeks left

ugh lilly 

fuck 

I really just

I’ll explain it to john first.

Then I’ll explain it to lilly maybe.

There has to be a way.

I woke up one morning, just out of the blue, I could smell lillies

and I followed the smell and she was just there waiting for john

and it’s like I knew he was gonna be there

it’s just

we’re in each others heads

and he didnt show up but I did? 

and it’s just fate its fucking incredible 

me and john spoke about this

there has to be a way.

in the next switch there has to be a way to find me 

he has to fucking find me

im thinking of doing something huge before I switch

fuck it

the place in the centre of town, near the bus station

there’s a grassy part with flowers and there is lillies everywhere

even the shiny white ones and that’s where I just happened to meet her

after literally waking up and following a smell just because I had the random desire to

like what in the fuck

its not a coincidence

whoever started this shit must have let this happen

or maybe its a mistake

but this 

I just want to stay who i am for another year

maybe two if you’d let me 

please

well

I think around 3 or 4 am, I can grab all the lillies from the garden place

and maybe john will help me but who knows, I’ll ask

and I’ll have to be quick. i guess I’ll shove them all into a bag and order a taxi so I can drive away

there’s probably security who glance at the cctv in the bus station, they’d report it 

then if i walk with a bag of flowers, covered in compost it would kind of fuck up

then i havent thought what to do with them

i want to do something huge

where everyone can see

like the scene from 500 days of summer where he draws the whole skyline on the wall

I dont care if she thinks I did it or John did it

 I just want her to see it 

and for it to leave a mark in her memory forever

so a part of this lifetime will live on 

it would be nice of you to understand but it’s so complex

and not a lot of people make these claims

I understand that you can’t understand

and it’s not necessarily okay but i guess its fine

and yeah

I want to do something

like leave a symbol all over town

every town in the city

in one night

maybe ask some people to help

something personal

i dont know

but maybe if it makes the news I’ll notice it before I change

something illegal

like lillies graffitid in the centres of every town

one town a night

and it will get noticed

and if john can get people together to do this

and it makes the news

that feeling

sure i must remember

i just 

im determined not to forget her

john, you have to help me with this

he has to

he must know how I feel

i dont even care that im not with her

being her friend right now just means the world to me

and john basically is me

he will help man

he has to