#in value and animated i am passing away but delighted to animate for myself

[weenwrites]

I think your requests are open?

I was just wondering if you could write a short thingy (I think it's called a scenario, the one that isn't written in "point" format) about a gn human reader and tfp Starscream.

I'm thinking they're at least friends in this, like they're basically almost together romantically but just haven't said it. It'd be comfort, reader has just lost a (unspecified) pet they've had for quite a few years and they don't know what to do because they're too sad/shocked but they instinctively contact Starscream for help/support.

Mine just passed from old age and since I live alone I found her, I'm just in need of some comfort (please don't feel pressured I'm doing fine now I just wanted to give context ❤️)

Pet Death

Summary - Starscream comforts you after your pet passes away. Characters - Starscream Content - Hurt & Comfort Category - Scenarios Trigger Warnings - Animal Death Mention

✎ A/N: I'm really sorry to hear that happened to you. I'm sorry if this fic is short, I wasn't exactly sure how to write it, what direction to take it, and I didn't want to make it too specific. Still, I hope it's comforting in some way.

[ Please do not repost, plagiarize, or use my writing for AI! Translating my work with proper credit is acceptable, but please ask first! ]

"Incoming Transmission From Y/N L/N" was what a notification in the corner of his HUD read. He didn't let the call ring a second time before answering, and instantly he was met with muffled sniveling.

"Starscream," they begin—their voice sounds quiet and frail, "do you have a moment to talk?"

"What... What is it?" He was almost hesitant to ask, his voice hushed to a low and quiet sound. It wasn't quite a whisper, but it wasn't too audible to any passerby who passed him in the halls.

"(Pet's name) passed away. I found them dead, and... I just need to talk to someone, right now."

"I am terribly, sorry to hear of your loss," he said after a long pause. "...I am not exactly sure how to comfort you, but if there is anything that you need, I am here for you."

"You don't have to do anything big, but keeping me company would be enough."

"Of course, take your time to mourn. I will be here for as long as I can."

"Thanks, Starscream."

For a moment, neither of them had said a thing, they sat in silence for a while until Y/N spoke again. Time seemed to fly by from then on, and as the two of them spoke, countless little anecdotes about their pet—spanning from the beginning of their time together till the end—were retold over the phone until their tears had long since dried. All the while, Starscream merely sat and listened contently, of course asking the occasional question and laughing at parts he found humorous from time to time.

"Surely that isn't true..." He responded to a story they had just finished telling.

"Nope, it legitimately happened." A faint smile tugs on their lips at the recollection, "at first I didn't believe it myself, but sure enough they did."

"Really? How amusing." He chuckles, "I can see why a creature such as your pet one was of great value to you."

For a moment, Y/N hesitates to respond, "Yeah they... They meant a lot to me."

"I could tell with the way you seemed delighted to recount the time you spent together," he adds, "and I know for certain that they will be dearly missed."

"They will... I'll never forget them."

"... And about the rest of the story..." He begins again after a time, "what then?"

"You seem genuinely invested in it," they remark.

"Well it's certainly piqued my interest."

"Alright then... Here's how the rest of it goes..."

[rileyclaw]

some stills from a full-length Hunter animation coming this weekend !!

[beewolfwrites]

An Iron Box - The Eternal Rocks

Apologies for the late update! My life has become a little hectic, so I haven’t been on Tumblr or AO3 as much. Hopefully I can make it up with new scenes that weren’t in AWIAF :) 

If you’re still following this fic, thank you for reading. It means the world <3

The AO3 link is here if you prefer reading it on there.

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I had stumbled across the copy of Wuthering Heights shortly after becoming an executive member. When I first moved into my room, it was tucked away in a drawer, and judging by the curled pages coated with dust, it had been there a while. I’d never cared enough to discard it, nor had I cared enough to read it. Until now.

The noon sunshine filtered through the windows as I sat on my bed, legs stretched out and book in hand. So far, it was a trivial mess – a ditsy story of childhood friends turned teenage lovers. Of course, this was the kind of book she would read. And if she really did have a Masters degree in literature, chances are she had already read it.

Yesterday, when I was called to the meeting room, I had an inkling as to what the fuss was about. And sure enough, there she was, dragged in like a stray by Niragi of all people. What terrible luck.

Well, for her at least.

Things had panned out just as I expected. If only she had come with me when I’d asked, she wouldn’t have had to deal with Aguni’s militants. They had given me the whole rundown of her Eight of Hearts game... how she’d solved it a little too late... how she’d accidentally set herself up by mentioning my name.

And now, I finally knew her name.

After showing her to her new room yesterday, I’d rolled it over on my tongue, memorising the foreign feel of it, the way the vowels stretched and consonants collided. It suited her, in a way. However, it seemed it would be a while before I could call her by it. According to the grapevine, she had disappeared into her room and hadn’t been seen since.

This morning, when I went downstairs to get breakfast, my eyes had instinctively scanned the crowded room, hoping to catch a familiar doe-eyed stare. But she was nowhere to be found.

‘Who are you looking for?’

Kuina had appeared beside me, balancing a bowl of cereal in one hand.

‘Nobody,’ I told her.

She wagged her finger, and through a mouthful of cereal, insisted, ‘don’t even think about lying to me. I can read you pretty well by now.’

I tried to ignore her noisy chewing. ‘I met a girl in a game.’

Kuina had wiggled her eyebrows at this, and something inside me instantly turned cold. If she thought I was involved in a petty romance then she could think again. I had no interest, and besides, this was hardly the place.

‘I believe we can use her in the plan. Niragi brought her in after a game yesterday.’

‘And there I was thinking you actually had a heart, hm?’ Kuina paused, her spoon dangling between her fingers. ‘I did hear there was a new girl, but nobody’s spoken to her yet. Do you want me to try and talk to her?’

I had mulled it over, but there was no point in rushing things. There was every chance she would emerge in her own time. It was like tempting a frightened animal out of its den and straight into a snare.

‘Not just yet,’ I said. ‘Let her feel hungry.’

‘You think she’ll come down for lunch?’

I smiled. ‘Probably not. But she’ll be hungry enough that when you do pay her a visit, she’ll want to trust you.’ Surveying the busy room, I added. ‘Keep an eye on the rumours. If she doesn’t come down in a few hours, bring her some food.’

‘Why me?’ Kuina scowled. ‘Why can’t you do it?’

Surely the reason was obvious. ‘She’s here because of me. I’m the last person she wants to speak to.’

Kuina had looked uncertain. But she couldn’t argue against it; we both knew I was right.

Now, several hours later, the sun was sinking and Kuina was probably about to pay (name) a visit. But I would leave that up to her. If Kuina befriended her, she would be much more willing to join our plan. Stretching my legs, I focused on the page in front of me.

‘It’s about life and finding meaning and purpose in everything.’

Her words from the pharmacy. Even now, they still rang clearly, haunting every recess of my mind. I didn’t care about finding meaning in life. I didn’t care at all. But I was curious about her obsession with fiction and poetry. What was it that drew her to books?  

What meaning does she see that I can’t?

My eyes landed on the words before me.

“My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary.”

How could love be necessary? It wasn’t food or water. It couldn’t be quantified, had little value in life, and if anything, it was a weakness in the games. I had never once needed it myself, and here I was, still alive and breathing. The whole story was trivial, melodramatic and utterly pointless. And yet, my gaze was drawn to the next line and the next.

I suppose I could read it, even if only to ease this perpetual boredom.

“He's always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being—”

A bang rattled the windows as the door to my room flew open. Kuina was standing breathlessly in the doorway, that fake cigarette of hers clenched between her teeth.

‘You,’ she said, inviting herself in and moving towards the chest of drawers. ‘I need to borrow one of your hoodies.’

I flipped over to the next page. ‘Why?’

She yanked open each drawer one by one, plundering through the contents before slamming them shut. ‘I need a spare hoodie for (name). Or, you know, anything that’s not a string bikini.’

‘I see, so that’s why she was hiding.’ I smiled, eyes drifting over the page of my book. ‘What a stupid reason.’

Kuina glowered and jabbed a finger at me. ‘Oi, just because you’re too confident for your own good it doesn’t mean everyone else is. Tell me where your hoodies are now.’

I nodded at the cupboard. ‘The grey one on the left-hand side.’

She opened it up and pulled out the grey hoodie. Out of the three I owned this was the smallest. It was also the newest, having never been soiled by blood in a game before. ‘Are you sure?’

I shrugged and turned back to my book. ‘She can keep it.’

It may be useful to create a debt.

I expected Kuina to simply take the hoodie and leave me to read in peace. But she didn’t. She clenched the fabric in her fists, staring at it. Her jaw tightened around her plastic cigarette.  

‘Chishiya, she’s nice. She’s really nice.’

‘Everyone’s nice until you pit them against each other.’

She grimaced, fingers gripping the hoodie. ‘I don’t think... she’s not like that. What did you have planned with her anyway?’

‘We need someone to find the safe where the cards are kept. A guinea pig, so to speak. I’m going to set her up and we’ll take advantage of the distraction.’

Kuina looked uncomfortable with the idea. ‘I’m just not sure about this.’

Sighing, I gave up trying to read and snapped the book shut. ‘If you’re not sure, then drop out. I’ll leave with the cards and you can stay right here.’

Of course, Kuina was smart enough to know what the Beach would descend into once it became apparent that the cards were missing. And if I went missing along with them, she would be the first person they’d turn to. Judging by the look on her face, she seemed to be thinking the same thing.

‘Fine,’ she agreed at last. ‘But of all the people to choose, she really doesn’t deserve this.’

I smiled, thinking back to Niragi’s overdramatic retelling of their game. Apparently, it was a game of laser tag with handguns. She had shot a teenage girl in the chest and emerged without a scratch.

‘Perhaps you’ll think differently if you see her in a Hearts game,’ I said. ‘It’s human nature to be selfish.’

It’s human nature to kill in order to survive.

With a small hiss of disapproval, Kuina trailed out of the room and left me alone, taking the grey hoodie with her.

Finally.

Picking up the book once more, I scanned over the words on the page. The entire plot made no sense. Cathy’s choice was obvious right from the beginning – Linton offered protection and financial security. It was everything she needed to live comfortably, so what was the issue? Why would a person be so caught up just because of a childhood sweetheart? Heathcliff was equally as ridiculous, running away like a brat just because she said a few words behind his back. This was a book for naïve idiots.

No wonder she likes it.

And yet, I read and read until the sun slunk behind the skyline, the darkness creeping in slowly through the curtains until it became too dark to read. I could have easily turned on the bedside lamp and continued, but perhaps it was time to see how things were going with Kuina and (name).

The sooner they were friends, the easier this would become.  

Getting up, I left my room and headed downstairs. It was right before the games began – the time when the Beach was at its most lively, and everyone was busy living in the moment just in case these turned out to be their final moments.

I passed by a couple furiously groping one another behind a pillar.

People are all the same.

Stepping outside onto the patio, I scanned the throngs of drunken idiots stumbling around in a haze of skin, sex and drugs. And then I caught a glimpse of that familiar face, standing by the bar and dressed in my hoodie. A man was beside her.

And you are just like them.

For a moment, I simply watched on as the man – one of Niragi’s troupe – tried to make conversation with her. Considering the sheer volume of the music and her self-taught Japanese, I wondered if she understood him. Taking her drink from the bartender, she smiled and said something undecipherable before taking a step away.

Bad move. A gun glinted, pressing into her side.

Oh?

The look on her face told me everything. She wasn’t flirting with him after all. And now it was all too clear what this man wanted from her.

Such an unpleasant welcome.

Perhaps I should have just left her to it, since this was the true face of the Beach, the drop of cold hard reality hidden behind the façade of a utopia. Perhaps I should have her deal with the situation on her own, for better or worse. But how could I? This was a perfect opportunity to regain her trust.

I sidled up to the bar, glancing between the half-drunken idiot and (name), who was standing there wavering like a ghost. Her expression was detached yet poised, like a rabbit on the verge of fleeing. But she couldn’t – not with the hand wrapped around her wrist and the pistol set just below her ribs.

‘What’s this?’ I leaned against the countertop. ‘I see you’ve met our newest member.’

(Name) blinked, only just noticing my presence. I glanced down at the pistol, the barrel half-hidden in the fabric of her hoodie. My hoodie.

‘You should probably put that thing away. Hatter won’t be too happy if you start messing with her. He’s got high expectations of her.’

The militant only pushed the gun further into her torso, standing up straighter in a useless attempt at intimidating me. ‘You know, Chishiya, I’m pretty sick of you interfering all the time. You should stay out of militant business.’

I almost smiled. This man wasn’t even an executive member. ‘Militant business,’ I said slowly. ‘It’s fascinating what you guys do. You take out the trash and dish out the sentence, but you never check the evidence.’

He bristled, his finger tightening over the trigger. ‘What the hell are you talking about? Just shut up and stay out of this.’

Typical. Do I have to spell things out to everyone?

‘What I’m saying,’ I replied, ‘is that you never bother checking to see if the ‘traitors’ are actually traitors. It’s surprisingly easy to slip a few cards into someone else’s room.’

I met his gaze pointedly, watching as he finally started to come to an understanding. He squeezed (name’s) wrist until her fingers blotched white and purple, before finally letting go.

Pushing his face close to mine, he whispered a slurred mess that sounded a lot like ‘threaten me again and I’ll end you’, before striding off into the crowd. It wasn’t much of a threat, coming from someone who couldn’t quite walk in a straight line. But no matter, I wasn’t here for him.

I was vaguely aware of (name) watching me as I turned back to the bar. The bartender was wiping glasses, unbothered by what had just happened. He saw worse every day.

‘お水をください,’ I said. Water, please.

A glass was placed in front of me, and I calmly sipped my water, waiting patiently for the inevitable. About now, she was probably itching to thank me, but wondering how best to do it. An over-thinker, that’s what she was.

When she finally spoke, it was so quiet I could have easily missed it, if only I hadn’t been expecting it. ‘Thanks... I’m guessing stuff like that’s pretty common around here.’

You catch on fast.

‘Well, there are only three rules,’ I said, assessing the grey hoodie. It had been slightly too small on me but was oversized on her. ‘Right now, you’re not allowed to go roaming the city alone because you’re still new, and that makes you a liability. But the next time you’re in a game, you’ll be paired with one of the executives, or someone else with a high rank. If you ask, they’ll go with you to find new clothes.’

She looked mildly surprised. Had Kuina not mentioned that it was mine? If so, I wonder how she would react once she found out. Perhaps this was a tidbit of information I should keep to myself for now.

Speaking of Kuina, I could see her now, watching me nervously through the crowds from a recliner on the other side of the patio.

‘Of all the people to choose, she really doesn’t deserve this.’

Perhaps not. But that’s what made her perfect for the job.

[thehierophage]

Holy Day Meditation, 4/4/21 e.v.

April 4, 2021 æ.v. Dies Solis, 

☉︎ 15° ♈︎ : ☽︎ 21° ♑︎ : ☉︎ : Ⅴⅴⅰⅰ æ.n. 

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. 

The Day of Zayin, the Day of the Lovers 

Hebrew Letter: Zayin 

Numerical Value as Letter: 7 

Numerical Value as Word: 67/717 (Zayin+Yod+Nun or Zayin+Yod+Nun [fin.])

Meaning: Sword, ornament, weapon. 

Thoth Card: The Lovers (Atu VI) 

Alternate Title: The Brothers, The Children of the Voice, The Oracle of the Mighty Gods. 

Image: 

Correspondences: 

Tree of Life Path Association: Key 17 - Tiphareth to Binah (from Sephira 6-3) 

Astrological Sign: Gemini 

Element: Air 

Egyptian Godforms: Various twin Deities, Rekht, Merti, Heru-Ra-Ha 

Geomantic Figure: Albus 

Gemstones: Alexandrite, Tourmaline, Iceland Spar 

Perfumes: Wormwood, Mastic 

Plants: Hybrids, Orchids, Laurel, Bending Vervain 

Animals: Magpie, hybrids, Parrot, Zebra, Penguin 

Colors: 

King Scale – Orange 

Queen Scale – Pale Mauve 

Prince Scale – New yellow leather 

Princess Scale – Reddish grey inclined to mauve 

  The Secret Instruction of the Master:

The Oracle of the Gods is the Child-Voice of Love in thine own Soul! hear thou it! Heed not the Siren-Voice of Sense, or the Phantom-Voice of Reason: rest in Simplicity, and listen to the Silence!

Mnemonic:

To each his Understanding sooth discovers Wordless: your mode, immortal Twins and Lovers!

Recommended Text for Meditation:

Liber Cordis Cincti Serpente Sub Figura LXV, cap. 2

Liber Cordis Cincti Serpente

A.˙.A.˙. Publication in Class A. Imprimatur: N. Fra A.˙. A.˙.

II

1.I passed into the mountain of lapis-lazuli, even as a green hawk between the pillars of turquoise that is seated upon the throne of the East.

2.  So came I to Duant, the starry abode, and I heard voices crying aloud.

3.  O Thou that sittest upon the Earth! (so spake a certain Veiled One to me) thou art not greater than thy mother! Thou speck of dust infinitesimal!

Thou art the Lord of Glory, and the unclean dog.

4.  Stooping down, dipping my wings, I came unto the darkly-splendid abodes. There in that formless abyss was I made a partaker of the Mysteries Averse.

5.  I suffered the deadly embrace of the Snake and of the Goat; I paid the infernal homage to the shame of Khem.

6.  Therein was this virtue, that the One became the all.

7.  Moreover I beheld a vision of a river. There was a little boat thereon; and in it under purple sails was a golden woman, an image of Asi wrought in finest gold. Also the river was of blood, and the boat of shining steel. Then I loved her; and, loosing my girdle, cast myself into the stream.

8.  I gathered myself into the little boat, and for many days and nights did I love her, burning beautiful incense before her.

9.  Yea! I gave her of the flower of my youth.

10. But she stirred not; only by my kisses I defiled her so that she turned to blackness before me.

11. Yet I worshipped her, and gave her of the flower of my youth.

12. Also it came to pass, that thereby she sickened, and corrupted before me. Almost I cast myself into the stream.

13. Then at the end appointed her body was whiter than the milk of the stars, and her lips red and warm as the sunset, and her life of a white heat like the heat of the midmost sun.

14. Then rose she up from the abyss of Ages of Sleep, and her body embraced me. Altogether I melted into her beauty and was glad.

15. The river also became the river of Amrit, and the little boat was the chariot of the flesh, and the sails thereof the blood of the heart that beareth me, that beareth me.

16. O serpent woman of the stars! I, even I, have fashioned Thee from a pale image of fine gold.

17. Also the Holy One came upon me, and I beheld a white swan floating in the blue.

18. Between its wings I sate, and the æons fled away.

19. Then the swan flew and dived and soared, yet no whither we went.

20. A little crazy boy that rode with me spake unto the swan, and said:

21. Who art thou that dost float and fly and dive and soar in the inane? Behold, these many æons have passed; whence camest thou? Whither wilt thou go?

22. And laughing I chid him, saying: No whence! No whither!

23. The swan being silent, he answered: Then, if with no goal, why this eternal journey?

24. And I laid my head against the Head of the Swan, and laughed, saying: Is there not joy ineffable in this aimless winging? Is there not weariness and impatience for who would attain to some goal?

25. And the swan was ever silent. Ah! but we floated in the infinite Abyss. Joy! Joy!

White swan, bear thou ever me up between thy wings!

26. O silence! O rapture! O end of things visible and invisible! This is all mine, who am Not.

27. Radiant God! Let me fashion an image of gems and gold for Thee! that the people may cast it down and trample it to dust! That Thy glory may be seen of them.

28. Nor shall it be spoken in the markets that I am come who should come; but Thy coming shall be the one word.

29. Thou shalt manifest Thyself in the unmanifest; in the secret places men shall meet with thee, and Thou shalt overcome them.

30. I saw a pale sad boy that lay upon the marble in the sunlight, and wept. By his side was the forgotten lute. Ah! but he wept.

31. Then came an eagle from the abyss of glory and overshadowed him. So black was the shadow that he was no more visible.

32. But I heard the lute lively discoursing through the blue still air.

33. Ah! messenger of the beloved One, let Thy shadow be over me!

34. Thy name is Death, it may be, or Shame, or Love.

So thou bringest me tidings of the Beloved One, I shall not ask thy name.

35. Where is now the Master? cry the little crazy boys.

He is dead! He is shamed! He is wedded! and their mockery shall ring round the world.

36. But the Master shall have had his reward.

The laughter of the mockers shall be a ripple in the hair of the Beloved One.

37. Behold! the Abyss of the Great Deep. Therein is a mighty dolphin, lashing his sides with the force of the waves.

38. There is also an harper of gold, playing infinite tunes.

39. Then the dolphin delighted therein, and put off his body, and became a bird.

40. The harper also laid aside his harp, and played infinite tunes upon the Pan-pipe.

41. Then the bird desired exceedingly this bliss, and laying down its wings became a faun of the forest.

42. The harper also laid down his Pan-pipe, and with the human voice sang his infinite tunes.

43. Then the faun was enraptured, and followed far; at last the harper was silent, and the faun became Pan in the midst of the primal forest of Eternity.

44. Thou canst not charm the dolphin with silence, O my prophet!

45. Then the adept was rapt away in bliss, and the beyond of bliss, and exceeded the excess of excess.

46. Also his body shook and staggered with the burden of that bliss and that excess and that ultimate nameless.

47. They cried He is drunk or He is mad or He is in pain or He is about to die; and he heard them not.

48. O my Lord, my beloved! How shall I indite songs, when even the memory of the shadow of thy glory is a thing beyond all music of speech or of silence?

49. Behold! I am a man. Even a little child might not endure Thee. And lo!

50. I was alone in a great park, and by a certain hillock was a ring of deep enamelled grass wherein green-clad ones, most beautiful, played.

51. In their play I came even unto the land of Fairy Sleep.

All my thoughts were clad in green; most beautiful were they.

52. All night they danced and sang; but Thou art the morning, O my darling, my serpent that twinest Thee about this heart.

53. I am the heart, and Thou the serpent. Wind Thy coils closer about me, so that no light nor bliss may penetrate.

54. Crush out the blood of me, as a grape upon the tongue of a white Doric girl that languishes with her lover in the moonlight.

55. Then let the End awake. Long hast thou slept, O great God Terminus! Long ages hast thou waited at the end of the city and the roads thereof.

Awake Thou! wait no more!

56. Nay, Lord! but I am come to Thee. It is I that wait at last.

57. The prophet cried against the mountain; come thou hither, that I may speak with thee!

58. The mountain stirred not. Therefore went the prophet unto the mountain, and spake unto it. But the feet of the prophet were weary, and the mountain heard not his voice.

59. But I have called unto Thee, and I have journeyed unto Thee, and it availed me not.

60. I waited patiently, and Thou wast with me from the beginning.

61. This now I know, O my beloved, and we are stretched at our ease among the vines.

62. But these thy prophets; they must cry aloud and scourge themselves; they must cross trackless wastes and unfathomed oceans; to await Thee is the end, not the beginning.

63. Let darkness cover up the writing! Let the scribe depart among his ways.

64. But thou and I are stretched at our ease among the vines; what is he?

65. O Thou beloved One! is there not an end? Nay, but there is an end. Awake! arise! gird up thy limbs, O thou runner; bear thou the Word unto the mighty cities, yea, unto the mighty cities.

Love is the law, love under will.

[work-for-mattia]

3/12/20

Dear Mattia,

I hope you are well.

I am writing to you regarding the position of Mattia, which I saw advertised on your blog. It is my passion for authenticity and self-development that has led me to apply for this role, as I believe that working for a company that actively promotes values akin to mine would allow me to stay true to myself. My aspiration is to support the development of new long-term strategies for Mattia, and improve its financial revenues.

Above all, managing other people’s expectations constitutes an elementary part of liaising with others as well as oneself. For example, I had to inform my employment coach today, that it would be best for us to postpone the meeting we were in; that was due to an unplanned diversion of prep time caused by sleeping till 11 AM. Negotiating alternative times required understanding their schedule and emotions whilst ensuring my position would not be shaken with such a key stakeholder on the long term, and we successfully rescheduled the session for another day.

Because of situations like these, I highly value order- it directly boosts productivity. I managed an inventory of freshly washed and folded clothes for me and my partner, who is currently away in India, and ensured that they were placed in the right wardrobes without the need for control checks. My commitment to correctly allocating available resources can also be demonstrated through my systematic re-evaluation of current systems in practice. For instance, I had two leftover beetroots in the fridge, which is a difficult amount to consume at once- but is also unsuitable for prolonged storage. In order to avoid wasting them, I decided to prioritise beetroots in my short-term sustenance plans and ate one right away as part of lunch, and decided to use the other one for tomorrow’s salad.

Similarly, after finding plastic bags clearly damaged by an animal in the washing machine room, I changed the location of a mousetrap I set up in the kitchen to catch a mouse that I have been hearing around the house lately. Additionally, I went out of my way to research whether beetroot could be used as an palatable bait, but there was no sufficient proof to support my hypothesis. After conducting a brief risk-assessment, I decided not to place easily perishable food in the trap, and stick to chocolate and biscuits instead.

I also highly value my personal development as an academic and writer. I am studying for a PhD in English at King’s College London, to which I am dedicating ample amounts of time. In particular, Friedrich A. Kittler’s Discourse Networks 1800/1900 caught my attention today when discussing the impact of scientific research and sound reproduction on writing in the early 20th century:‘Not the delight of the subjects but the delight of the research came to power. In the absence of normativisation, this delight brought to light discourses that previously had never passed a recording threshold – “a new and infinitely delicate point in the texture of reality.” The quote emphasises the importance of creating conditions necessary for certain, often seemingly minor, discourses to be recorded and thus potentially picked up in the future; I believe that long-term goal expansion encourages such continuous re-evaluation of various modes of selfhood, and I am ready to apply this as part of the role.

At times, it is important to recognise areas of further development, and embark on journeys that lead to organic, self-motivated growth. Working for a person that is trying their best to improve their daily habits would help me achieve my highest potential and start a career in being a fully functioning human in today’s economy.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Kind regards,

Mattia

[valnune]

Task 1: Chapters 1-5 (Wine Mom Perspective)

Of course. That is what the initial observation is, but there was so much more to this vision. There are seven banners with various animals between eight windows. Perhaps it is accurate to say this looked like a courtroom but  something about it gave off an aura of dread. There is an appropriate saying for this situation: We’re not in Kansas anymore. That much was obvious. Aside from the archaic furniture that gave this echoing room a demeanor of authority, the most striking feature was rather outside.

There, behind all the faces directed at her, was a moon  with a size that marked this place as otherworldly. Such a thing wouldn’t be believed  to be real if it wasn’t for the light cast through the windows and how it interacted with the surroundings. This was a natural light, even if it seemed beyond logically possible. How would a moon that size affect the tides? No- Those thoughts can be addressed later.

The man in the seat of the chief judge, higher than the others, be that symbolic or not, starts speaking.

“Welcome to the Devildom, Althea. Oh, pardon me. Feeling a bit shocked, are we? Well, that’s understandable. You’ve only just arrived, after all. As a human, it will probably take a while for you to adjust to things here in the Devildom.”

His tone seemed overly polite, overly cheerful- especially for someone of his stature. It was all too casual for the words that he spoke, as if this sort of thing was supposed to be taken at face value.

Was a shocked look being presented? Perhaps a glint of nervousness. Eyes remained focused upon the figure that had just spoken. The militaristic uniform he wore was a blazing red with a black shoulder cape on his left side, contrasting the black uniforms and red shoulder capes of the others. The one who had spoken also had a skin complexion like chai with russet hair styled in a way that made it seem like he was trying to be relatable. Devildom… And he referred to her as human which meant he must have been something else.

“I suppose I should start by introducing myself. My name is Diavolo. I am the ruler of all demons, and all here know of me and someday soon, I will be crowned king of the Devildom. This is the Royal Academy of Diavolo… though we just call it RAD. You’re standing within the assembly hall, the very heart of RAD. This is where we officers of the student council hold our meetings and conduct our business. I’m the president of said council.”

He continued on, and with a gesture around him as he spoke, displayed the assembly hall. The others who were there remained silent for now, however there was a curious thought. He called himself the ruler, and yet he isn’t yet crowned King? Well that certainly was presumptuous. Furthermore, he named the Royal Academy after himself, and made himself president? More importantly, he confirmed what this place was. This was Hell, right? These were demons. Real demons. There was no way of knowing what they could do, if they could read minds or what their intentions were. The only thing I can control with absolute certainty is my own actions- and even then that’s not guaranteed. There’s no point overthinking when answers will be provided. As much as Althea loathed to trust things at face value, it was a necessity for the moment. Still. There were a few questions that needed to be addressed.

Taking a half step backwards, it is best to start things off right so with a sweeping bow, lowering my gaze to the ground she addressed the council before her as calmly as possible.

“An absolute delight to make your acquaintance, Lord Diavolo. If I may request courtesy and clarification on two fronts, I would greatly appreciate it. If I am correct in assuming this is Hell, I would kindly like to know if I am deceased or not, and if I have died, what was the manner. If I am still alive and was brought forth before you, I would very much like to know the reason for it.”

Rising upwards, Althea did what she could to remain as calm and composed as possible. You’re only able to make one first impression and for demons, it most certainly would be an impression that would impact her stay here. Still. It was hard to believe that any of this was true. Hell was quite different from what the Bible said but then again. How much of that was fear mongering anyway?

Another man spoke in response as he stood from a chair set to Diavolo’s immediate right. His hair was side parted, black that faded to grey at the tips giving him a more mature look, though his stance was closed off, arms tightly wrapped. The initial impression this man gave off was of a no-nonsense strictly business type of person. His eyes.. And like all of the ones here, were unnatural in some way. That shouldn’t be too surprising. They were demons after all.

“I will explain everything to you.”

“Althea, this is Lucifer. He is a demon and the Avatar of Pride. He’s also the vice president of the student council and my right-hand man…and not just in title, I assure you. Beyond that, he’s also my most trusted friend.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere, Diavolo.”

Their little banter back and forth gave the impression of a close, interwoven history. Though it took her for a bit of a shock that this was Lucifer, and that he was a second to someone. The Catholic Church seemed to have mistaken a few things. Was that for better or for worse? Regardless, Lucifer continued to speak in a smooth, yet stern voice, befitting someone proclaimed as the avatar of pride.

“Speaking on behalf of the entire student body at this great and storied school of ours, I offer you the most heartfelt welcome, Althea.”

A flat gaze just passed by her. That certainly didn’t feel like a heartfelt welcome. Furthermore, he just ignored her question entirely. However, the strange casualness of how he spoke was unfortunately the exact opposite of calming. In fact, it only brought up more questions.

“If it was truly heartfelt, you’d answer my questions, but I suppose it is safe to assume I am not dead at the very least. ”

“...Interesting. This one is quite different from Solomon.” He said in an aside while giving a glance to his left.

“You would be correct to assume such. It would defeat the purpose Diavolo intends. Diavolo believes that we demons should start strengthening our relationship with both the human world and the Celestial Realm. As a first step toward this goal, we’ve decided to institute an exchange program. We’ve sent two of our students to the human world and two to the Celestial Realm and we’re welcoming four students to our school: two from your world and two from the Celestial Realm. So, I take it you’ve probably put two and two together at this point, right? You’ve been chosen from among the people of the human world to participate in this program of ours. You are our newest exchange student. Your period of stay is one year. You will have to work on the tasks that you will receive from RAD. After one year, you will write a paper about your exchange here in the Devildom.”

That was certainly a fair bit of information to take in at once. She was in university working on her thesis, completing Masters classes and working towards a doctorate in economics. Did that mean that a demon was going to be taking her classes for her? Why did all of this seem like a hassle? A tight pursed lip of an expression passed by her features, another flat gaze of passive disdain. Yet the way he said Celestial Realm and not Heaven caught her off guard. He hadn’t referred to this place as Hell either. Perhaps it was a derogatory term to call it as such, or just narrow in scope. That Hell was an aspect of the Devildom.

“I am under the assumption then that I am not able to refuse this… well, clearly not a request but a mission, I suppose, of yours. I suppose I have no choice but to take a leave of absence at my University.”  A sigh passed by her lips as she returned his stare.

“Once more, you would be correct to assume you have no choice in the matter, but don’t glare at me like that. It’s not like I will abandon you all by yourself here in the Devildom. You need someone to look after you, and I think that someone should be my brother Mammon. He’s the Avatar of Greed and… how should I put it…? Oh well, you’ll understand soon enough.”

It was at this point that Lucifer stepped down from the table and made his way over, handing a device that looked very much like a phone, in fact it looked exactly the same but apparently it was not.

“Here, take this device. It’s called a D.D.D. It’s a lot like the cell phones of your world. This will be yours to use for as long as you’re here. Now, go ahead and try calling Mammon with it.”

Accepting the D.D.D. It was easy to be able to navigate its menu. It was exactly a rip off of a phone. Was this just another thing named after Diavolo as well? Diavolo’s Discussion Device? This was the Devildom after all… Devil Dominion? Devil Kingdom? Was this just a big joke? A pun? Of course it’s a pun. This is Hell after all. Althea took a step back and turned the D.D.D on speaker setting before letting it ring… ring… and then it picked up.

“Yoooo.”  The voice over the phone awkwardly said upon picking up.

“Am I speaking to Mammon?”  Holding the device upwards, she spoke over it in a cool, calm tone.

“Huh? Who the hell are ya? You ain’t Lucifer.”

“I am Althea Severine, a human that is part of the exchange program. I’ve been requested to call you.”

“Whaaaa? A human? Geez, I was gettin’ all chilly here thinkin’ it was Lucifer again. Ya should’ve told me right away. You’ve got a lotta nerves callin’ on THE Mammon, exchange program or not.”

“I’ve been informed that you’ll be “looking after” me from now on. I hope you know what you’ve been signed up for.”

“No way! There’s nothin’ in it for me. Besides, Whaddya even mean by, looking after anyway? I ain’t gotta do nothin’. See ya.”

“This is implicit instructions from your brother, Lucifer.”

“Pfft, whatever. Ya think The Mammon would listen to ya just ‘cause you’re tryin’ to scare me with that name?”

Lucifer stepped forward as he was about to take the phone but, with a side glance, Althea paced to the side, a few taps of her shoes echoing a bit. Just from the impression, it was clear to see what sort of demon of greed he was. Just add a little pressure, a little threat… Let the games begin.

“Mammon. Avatar of Greed, correct?”

“Yeah, what of it?”

“If you are not here at the assembly hall of RAD within the next five minutes, your assets will be liquidated and donated to charity. If you consider this to be a hollow threat, know that I am in the presence of Lucifer, and of Lord Diavolo. You may not think much of me or the threats I offer, but are you willing to risk that?”

A bit of a smirk passed from her lips as she lifted her gaze towards Lucifer who had a bemused expression.

“Fine. FINE! I’ll be there ya damn b-” Althea disconnected the call as he was about to call her, presumably, a bitch. A short huff from her nostrils, a shake of her head, the D.D.D. was slipped away into a pocket.

“Sounds like you had a nice chat.” The expected smug reply from Lucifer as the call ended.

“Would it also be correct to assume that the reason he is my “caretaker” is so that you can keep an eye on the both of us at the same time?”  Another slight sigh slipped from her lips. If she was having to babysit someone at the same time that would only make this worse.

“I don’t  know what you’re talking about.” That damned smug smile returned.

“Well, if you were suddenly brought to a strange place and then get told that an unfamiliar face will now take care of you, you’d feel anxious. However, Mammon isn’t the only one to help you out. Now then… we still need to introduce our new friend to your brothers, Lucifer. And it’s probably better that you do that instead of me, wouldn’t you say?”

“I’m not anxious-”  Althea lifted a finger upwards as she looked between the two as Diavolo spoke up.

“As much as I dread the idea of doing so, you’re right.”  Though, as Lucifer was about to continue, one of the other men at the back stood up and started to make his way down.

“Oh, come now. Really? You should be honoured that you get to introduce such a sweet and charming little brother like me!”

“This one here is Asmodeus. He’s the Fifth Eldest. He is the Avatar of Lust.”

Asmodeus. That name was certainly famous, just as much as Lucifer’s was. Though, as far as she knew, Diavolo was just Italian for the Devil. The man appeared youthful, one of those adonis charming boyish types, and from the looks of it, was shorter than her. A little side fringe over his face, strawberry blonde, perhaps a bit on the side of rose gold with eyes of molten honey. A primadona. Especially how he reacted to being called, This One.

“Wh… I can’t believe you totally ignored what I said! And not only that, you referred to me as this one. How rude!” Primadona indeed. Though, given he was the avatar of lust, it is to be expected that he’d be more dramatic of word and poise.

“Hmph. At least he didn’t ignore you altogether. How do you think I feel?” Another spoke,  coming down from the council table. Blonde hair, bright green eyes, the impression made him come off as a sensitive type but that was soon dispelled as Lucifer clarified who he was.

“That one there is Satan, the fourth eldest of us. At first glance, he may seem like a responsible demon with a good head on his shoulders, but looks can be deceiving.”

“Aha, so I’m that one, am I? Nice to meet you, Althea. I’m Satan, the Avatar of Wrath.”

Satan and Asmodeus. Wrath and Lust. Along with Lucifer, Pride. There was another one there with orange hair that wasn’t introduced yet. However, glancing towards the two presented in front of her, Althea took a step towards them in evaluation, as much as she assumed they were evaluating her. It seemed that Satan was at eye level with her- if only for the heels she was wearing, even even without them, she was confident she’d still be taller than Asmodeus.

“Likewise it is nice to meet you, Satan, perhaps looks can be deceiving but I intend to make judgments on my own instead of relying on the opinions of others. That is to also say, I will not ignore such a charming individual as yourself, Asmodeus. I will be interested in finding out fact from fiction regarding your history.”  Her smooth words returned to them, a slight incline of her head in a respectful response, a smile, keeping utterly calm. She couldn’t afford to blow a first impression like this.

“Ooooh. Did you hear that, Satan? She thinks I’m charming- of course who wouldn’t think that? They’d have to be blind. In fact, let’s give a little demonstration! Althea, could you gaze into my eyes for a moment? It’s okay, I won’t hurt you. I promise it’ll be fun…”

He took a step forward and looked upwards, just the same as she looked down towards the honey hues. The longer she looked at them, the more colours and shades she could see within them. Amber, orange, peach. Colours that invoked warmth.

“Yes, great! That’s perfect! Now, keep your eyes fixed on mine… Just… like… that…” As his words trailed off, the expression of delight changed to one of confusion and then dismay. Something wasn’t going the way he intended. However, Althea just stared, her gaze going from vaguely curious, to bored rather quickly as the stoic expression set in. She didn’t have time for this nonsense. 

“...Wait a minute. There’s something about you...hmm..”

“I should probably warn you, Althea; you’d best be wary of Asmodeus’s gaze. He can charm and manipulate people and use them to his own advantage. If you’re not careful, he’ll charm you. And once you’re under his spell, he’ll eat you.” Satan spoke up, first starting to sound amused and then shifted his tone to a scolding one.  Well. That would have been nice to know beforehand.

“Hey, don’t go around saying things like that. Hmm. Regardless, my power doesn’t seem to work this time for some reason, I wonder why.”

“Well, I for one am glad for that. You can’t guarantee what I’d do once the charm wore off.” Althea scoffed and slid a heel backwards, whether or not the defensive stance was intentional or not, but she was able to see a rather tired expression from Lucifer as he spoke.

“Are you done? Now, the one there with the very grumpy look on his face is Beelzebub. He’s the sixth oldest.”

“Lucifer, I’m hungry.”  Beelzebub. So that’s who he was. She remembered having to read Lord of the Flies in school despite its views on religion and other things.

“That’s too bad. Now behave yourself.” Lucifer gave quite the stern expression in response.This seemed to be a theme.

“I’m Beelzebub, the Avatar of Gluttony.”  There was a pitiful look upon his brow as he was told to quiet down, though he still came down from the stands as he had to introduce himself.

“So. There are seven of us brothers in all, and I am the eldest. Mammon, the second oldest of us, will be here soon. My other brothers aren’t here at the moment, but… well, we can get to them later. All in good time.”  Seven..? Then they are the avatars of the seven deadly sins? Envy and Sloth would be the two missing then. At least Catholic School was giving her some unusually useful knowledge.

“During your stay in the Devildom, the seven brothers will lend you their strength. To keep you safe, you are to stay with them at the House of Lamentation.”  Diavolo seemed to take much amusement in the situation.

Pursing her lips tightly again, her eyes just narrowed ever so slightly. She was going to be staying in a house with seven others, seven male demons. What else literally could be going wrong today?

“Most agree with Diavolo, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t vulgar demons out there who wouldn’t harm you. If anything were to happen to you, it would be our responsibility. And I won’t betray Diavolo’s expectations. So, I will do everything in my power to make sure you survive your stay down here in the Devildom. Although we will all be living together, you should still have the means to reach us at any given time. All of our phone numbers are already in there. And your D.D.D. also has a messaging app. Make sure to add all of us.”

“I’ll go ahead and send you a message!”  Diavolo had his own D.D.D. and texted something through, her phone, no, D.D.D. She’d have to get used to thinking it’s not a phone. Anyway, it buzzed in her pocket.

“Isn’t that nice, Althea. Now you will be friends with the future king of the Devildom!” Satan made certain to add his opinion in to the conversation. 

All of this honestly seemed like it would become exhausting. What worth was it to her? Was this just a game to all of them? She didn’t have time to spend a year away from the Human world. She had to get her career started so that she could take on the family businesses. All of this was a distraction. Yes. The amount of knowledge that could be found about this and other worlds and the implications- they were not lost on her. If Hell was Real, was God real? And in what sense? If there was such a world like this in Hell, and in Heaven, what was the afterlife, the result of it? Was it eternal and the human world was transient?  Did it matter? Did any of it matter?  Her internal thoughts were cut off as Lucifer spoke up again.

“Well. you’ve got that done now, and it seems the idiot has arrived as well.”

“HEY! Just who do you think you are, human? You’ve got a lotta nerve summoning the Great Mammon! Listen up, because I’m only gonna say this once. If you value your life, then you’ll hand over all of your money now! And anything else of value, too! Otherwise I’ll wipe that smug disinterested look right off of your face… by eatin’ you! Startin’ at your head and working my way down, until-”

“Mammon, shut up or I’ll punch you!”  That was the warning- except Lucifer didn’t hesitate to follow up with his threat before giving Mammon a chance and decked him in the shoulder, causing the tanned skin, white haired demon to stagger backwards, nearly losing balance.

“GAH, OWW! Hey, what’s the big idea? I thought you were actually gonna give me a chance to shut up before punching me!”

“Althea, Mammon here is the Avatar of Greed. He governs and oversees all forms of it. Whenever he takes a liking to someone, they suddenly find themselves awash in money. But from what I hear, if he decides to break it off with someone, that wealth evaporates. They’re left without a Grimm to their name.” The ever informative Satan.

“And he’s also a masochist. That part’s important.” Of course, Asmodeus had to mention that part as well. It looked as if Mammon was about to speak in protest of these comments when Lucifer cut him off.

“Indeed. And it just so happens I have a job for my masochist of a brother.” “Y’all, stop telling lies! I ain’t asked for that punch, and I AIN’T a masochist!”

“Mammon, you are going to be in charge of seeing to this human’s needs during the whole exchange. I expect your full cooperation.”

“What?! Why me?!”  

All the while during this interaction, the back and forth, Althea watched both Lucifer and Mammon. Though they were First and Second, it was clear where the division was. Lucifer was the eldest but he was the head of the household who delegated things. Mammon hardly acted like an older brother to the others. Yet. They acted rather human. At least to her. Then again. How was a demon supposed to act? Like a ravenous beast?

“Aww, lucky you, Mammon! I’m so jealous…” The Avatar of Lust spoke up, even if he made a feigned pout, he wasn’t interested as he was examining his fingernails, painted a pink and turquoise on alternated fingers.

“All right, then why don’t YOU do it, Asmodeus?!”

“What? Hell no, too lazy.” It was expected as much. Mammon trying to pass it off but Asmodeus wasn’t wanting to put in extra effort of course.

“I thought you said you were jealous of me?!”

“Just give up, Mammon. There’s no getting out of this. You know you can’t refuse a direct command from Lucifer, correct?” Once more it always seemed that Satan had something to add.

“But why does it have to be me?! What about Beel. Why can’t he do it?!” As if to exclaim, Mammon walked in the direction of Beel, waving a hand towards him. He too had painted fingernails. White in fact.

“This isn’t a job we can entrust to Beel. We might as well ask him to eat this human.” Asmodeus kept his poise disinterested in the situation, shaking his head as he canted his head to his younger brother.

“Mm, yeah. I can’t promise I wouldn’t.” Though Beelzebub was younger, he was just as tall as Lucifer and Diavolo, and just as broad as the latter. Surprisingly, he also had painted fingernails. Orange like his hair.

“You’re useless, you know that?!” Mammon continued to have an exasperated expression, being forced to do something he didn’t want to do.

“...Mammon?” Lucifer stared towards his younger brother and just by saying his name it caught Mammon’s attention.

“...Wh-what?”

“Surely you’re not going to tell me that you object to this arrangement, are you?” Normally those words wouldn’t have an intimidating factor to them, but there was just a pressure that was felt. Like a wave or energy that emanated from Lucifer. His expression wasn’t even that particularly forceful but it held a firm sternness that caused Mammon to straighten up.

As he adjusted his posture, Mammon stood up taller, remained silent and stared towards Lucifer before… his expression broke and he turned away to look at Althea. Whether that was disgust or disinterest, he clearly didn’t care for what he was being forced to do. Not that she blamed him, yet the both of them were stuck together now, for better or worse.

“Ugh.. I hate you guys! Every last one of ya! Fine… FINE! I’ll do it, okay?! All right, human, listen up. As much as I don’t want to look after you, I’ve got no choice. It’s a huge pain in the ass, and I’m too important for this kind of thing, but Lucifer told me to do it, so I will.  But in return, you better make sure you don’t cause me any trouble, got it?!”

“I cannot guarantee anything. You are stuck with me, just the way I am stuck with you, and I will not suffer ignorance from you or anyone else.” Althea also stared downwards on this demon. It was safe to say even without heels she’d still look down at him. Hmm, and if he actually was masochistic, it would be easier to try to exert pressure on him to get him to behave.

“I’m afraid that you’ll have to suffer a lot of ignorance with Mammon. Just make sure you don’t catch his stupidity.”  Satan could be heard behind her. He was rather opinionated, wasn’t he?

“Hey-Hey! I might not be smart but I ain’t ignorant! Y’all stop it- and you human better keep your yap shut!”

“We have decided who will take care of you, so on to the next subject: your tasks. Along with attending the Academy, your task is to polish up your soul nicely and to acquire the power to resist demons. You see, demons like humans with nice souls. Let me put it another way, nice souls look like shiny jewels. Do you understand now? Demons will use their wisdom and abilities to tempt humans so they can get their hands on their souls. Other demons at RAD also have tasks assigned to them just like you. In other words, either humans will be tempted by demons, or demons will lose against the shiny and noble soul of a human and make a run for it. You could say it is an experiment to find out who will win.”

“I wanna make one thing clear right now; Don’t blame me if someone gets eaten, ‘cause it ain’t my fault.”

“Lucifer, I’m hungry.”

“That’s too bad. Now, behave yourself.”

Her gaze flattened at that. Really? Bringing a hand to her face, Althea couldn’t hold back the strain upon her features now, stroking her temples with a hand thumb and middle finger rubbing to release the strain. Just. Really?

“Well. Perhaps this would come as a surprise to you, but  I hardly doubt that I have a nice or a noble soul. In terms of being a human being, I consider myself to have quite a bit of skeletons in my closet, and perhaps I have a real one. I’ve always assumed I’d be going to Hell, but I didn’t expect it would be this early in my life. Now, if you’d excuse me, I’d very much like to return to Earth as I was in the middle of some important business. This is a waste of my time and unlike all of you, which seem to be taking this very much as an amusement and fleeting moment in your lives, this is very much a pivotal point in my life and one that was not a scheduled interruption. I was nearly done with my education which has taken years of planning and has been meticulously planned might I add… and this is a deviation I will NOT stand for. Now, return me to the human world at this VERY moment.” Not often would she raise her voice, and not not often would she get so enraged while in front of a crowd. Certainly she was not afraid to show her ire or displeasure over a situation but this was clearly outside the norm. Althea was not happy, and she did not like surprises. Perhaps some people would leap at the opportunity for a call to adventure, one of unparalleled intrigue and mystery, but she was very much a realist and this was something she was firmly against. It wasn’t the years of attending a private Catholic school that made her so opposed to being in Hell, but rather that spending time in Hell was going to deviate her plans greatly. 

“That is unfortunately not an option. You were chosen. That is something you can’t change.” Althea was about to speak again, staring towards Lucifer who was simply shaking his head.

“Althea, from now on you will be living in the House of Lamentation. You’ll be staying there with Lucifer and his six younger brothers. I can understand that this is not part of your plan but I hope you come to accept it in time. Humans, angels, demons, I imagine a universe where each accepts the other. Where we are brought together as friends. This is my dream, and I’m asking you to be the foundation for it. One year, that’s all I ask of you. Think of the amount of achievements you can accomplish in this time and just what you will be a part of. What I am counting on you for. I think you’ll find that it has many more benefits than you can imagine. Good luck, Althea.”

That damned overly cheerful expression on the Demon Lord’s face. There was no saying no to this, was there? No? Placing a hand on her hip, Althea dropped her hand that was growing sore from trying to massage her temples so much now. Inhaling swiftly through her nose, the audible adjustment of her posture. Fine. She’d play this little game of theirs.

“One year. One year and I am gone. We’ll see if the benefits outweigh the inconvenience this is causing me.” With a snap of her fingers, Althea turned and proceeded to the door from which Mammon came from, a swish and saunter of her hips as she spun. 

“Come then- if you’re to be my caretaker and guide, I’ll best make use of you. With any luck, I won’t strangle you by the end of the day.”

“Hey- I’m not taking orders from a human. If anything you gotta Obey me!” Mammon quickened his pace to catch up as the two left the assembly hall.

“Yeah yeah…We’ll see about that...”

…

As the two left, Diavolo only smiled brightly towards Lucifer, sunlight practically beaming from him as the boisterous laughter followed up with his expression.

“I think those two will get along great!”

There was a nearly unanimous sigh or shake of the head from everyone else within the room as the moonlight upon the floor had only shifted ever so slightly since the start of the meeting. The only other reaction to be had was the echoing growl of Beelzebub’s stomach.

“Lucifer, I’m hungry.”

“Yes Beel, I know.”

[supernoondles]

2019

The last day of 2019 was also the day I fainted for the first time--a fitting metaphor for the year.

2019 was overall very emotionally taxing. This year was emotionally defined by falling intensely, deeply in love with someone (who is a very private person so I will try to be vague to respect that) and being in a lot of pain because of situations mostly outside of our control. There were a lot of intensely joyous moments, and a lot of intensely sad ones. Throughout it all I wish I had communicated better. I also made some bad decisions with another person I really loved and cared about that resulted in us growing apart. Do I think I grew from the experiences? For sure. Do I wish I could have come upon these realizations through a different course of action? Also yes. Am I fully healed from the experiences? Not really, but I've been getting better.

2019 was also very bad in terms of research. It was the 2nd year of my PhD. After I submitted my rotation project I basically felt stuck in the swamp of my advisors rejecting new project ideas for like literally half a year. This, combined with my high emotional volatility (partially due to starting birth control), made me really sad, unmotivated, and susceptible to self-blame. I definitely had high expectations for myself and became frustrated at my lack of progress and felt a lot of pressure from myself to get my shit together. I also felt incredibly bad after most advisor meetings and not supported by one of them to the point where I had to have a conversation with him about the lack of support (which was very scary)! Things started picking up, though, near the end of the year. I published a paper in collaboration with a former post-doc/now professor elsewhere whom I learned a lot from, and started finally building out another system. I also started mentoring an undergrad who at some point told me I helped him feel like he had something important to say and belong at Stanford for the first time and those words meant a lot to me. I think I'm continuing to refine what I value as research contributions and increasingly think about what it means to build systems that aren't used outside of the lab to satisfy the annual conference publishing cycle. I'm also starting to feel the pressure of doing work that follows a narrative rather than random projects that interest me.

Oh, I guess in terms of "program requirements," I did finish taking required classes, passed qualifying exams, and got a master's degree. But honestly those weren't hard at all nor do I think are externally valued in the larger research community, so I don't really celebrate them as accomplishments beyond surface level.

In 2019 I saw two different therapists. The first one was awful, I think directly influenced some of my bad decisions, and also didn't respect my gender identity??? The second one is a lot better and I'm grateful to see her, even if 90% of our sessions are just talking about my relationship (romantic/advisor) issues, which is something I want to move away from in the future. But I also feel incredibly privileged when relationship issues are the primary stressors in my life--I am grateful I feel equipped to handle other crap, like deadlines, and don't have to worry about my own health.

Those were the main things that have colored this year. We'll now move into the section of this post where I go through my photos to jog my memory of other events.

New years started a tradition of getting dim sum with Jasper, Matthew, and Michelle dear to my heart. My high school friend was also visiting and we all attended a really awesome new year's eve party. I was also going on a lot of dates and having a lot of good sex, which made me really happy, and at the same time crying all the time at work. In February I received probably the best gift anyone has ever given me and saw Panic! at the Disco, which I said in an end of the year group meeting was a good memory of my year (it was, to relive my scene days!). In March I roadtripped both to Marin (which I had never to been before, despite all my years in the bay) and LA for Wondercon; it was nice to both see high school friends and go on a trip with the boo. In April I went on a hike with my office which was probably the start of us all becoming closer (we are the social office in the wing now, which I take pride in! Also we draw a lot of Pokemon which warms my heart). In May I went to CHI in Glasgow and then to Paris afterward, and the entire experience was very weird and bad and also too many flights were canceled and/or missed and I vowed to not return to Europe for a while, but man do I love the noodles at Trois Fois plus de Piment. In June we hosted a double apartment party with my downstairs neighbors (side note: I am really appreciative of the place I live in, for the community, convenience, and large-ass space and will be really sad to be kicked out fall 2020) and I started a friendship important to me. I cat-sat for my advisor (the one who doesn't make me feel bad) twice. I went to Redwood State Park with my family and hosted a summer solstice celebration. Over the summer a friend I met in Paris back in 2017 moved in with me. I had a much needed escape from the bay to Seattle where I was reminded how abundant the world can be. I also went to Tahoe to celebrate my parents' anniversary, and really liked stumbling upon a smaller lake with a cheap boat rental. Then I became FOMO about the highly competitive Bay Area camping and did a last minute walk-in at Redwood Basin in Santa Cruz, which made me realize that I don't actually love camping (but was nice nonetheless). I ate an expensive meal at Commonwealth before they closed. For my birthday we made a friendship quilt and I served my favorite dish of cumin lamb but it was also 90 degrees in my apartment (I felt really bad and bought two fans afterwards). I started buying many cartoon frog plush after being gifted a $3.99 on sale Safeway frog (called Baby!). I went on Tinder dates (one of which was at a quaker yard sale marketed as Harvest Festival where I got a 1970s Kermit puppet for like $2) that largely went nowhere. My high school friend visited and we were both sad about break ups. I did Inktober before I went to New Orleans for a conference on Bourbon St where everything felt like it was coated in a sticky film of alcohol. I almost missed my flight home because I fell asleep in a sculpture garden but I had the most amazing Uber driver who snaked his way through traffic (oh and the flight was delayed by like 3 hours). I went to kind of embarrassing haunted houses and pumpkin patches over Halloween, but also had the most incredible bowl of ramen at Mensho. My whole office dressed up as Zootopia characters which warmed my furry heart. I spent like $120 on a Pokemon shirt. I started playing Arkham Horror and rekindled another friendship important to me. In November went on a road trip to Big Sur because again, I had to escape it all. For Christmas Eve dinner I roasted a duck for the first time (which was delicious). Shortly after I waited in line for 2 hours for a rollercoaster at Great America, which taught me the value of buying a fast pass because at this point in my life that money is worth it, and then waited 2 hours in line at the DMV to get a RealID (I had made an appointment, which was the fast pass).

Okay, now we move to the hobby section!

I got really into sewing in 2019, having received a sewing machine last Christmas. I made a Judy Hopps (which I wore to CrunchyRoll Expo) and Korok cosplay (Fanime), several unsuccessful garments, a crab bean bag, a dice bag, a fanny pack, and put hearts nipples on a jumpsuit.

Shows! I think I went to way fewer shows this year. The ones I can remember are Elephant Gym, Thom Yorke the night before I had an 8am flight, Carly Rae Jepsen over pride weekend (also, she is my #1 artist of the year, which makes a lot of sense given my emotional space), Mitski at Stern Grove, Capitol Hill Bloc Party (which was super lame, except for Lizzo, where I cried), and the National (which was a fucking surreal experience as they played on Stanford's campus, I was the only one within earshot of myself who knew the words to Crybaby Geeks, and then the white catalog moms came up to me after to thank me for singing the song).

I also started playing my own music! I started playing viola again for the first time in 7 years (lol) in both pop-up concerts with the Awesome Orchestra (one in Golden Gate Park, one at the Exploratorium) and a string quartet through my school. Sometimes I am filled with joy and delight. Other times interpersonal tensions run high and also I am very bad at being in tune. It's life.

Media! I really liked Mob Psycho 100 Season 2 and Beastars. I feel like those were the only notable anime I watched this year? I saw the Farewell three times--first in Seattle where I sobbed for like 1 hour after the movie, the second time with my parents, and the third where Awkwafina was present for a Q&A. I thought Parasite was incredible and Promare was OK. I have spent an unfortunately large amount of my time playing Pokemon Masters. I finally beat BOTW and completed my Pokedex in Shield like 2 weeks after getting the game.

Resolutions! In my draft of my 2018 end of year post (which I never polished and posted, sorry), I said my resolutions were 1. come out to my parents 2. draw enough to table at an anime con 3. be disciplined about paper reading and have a doc. I did none of these things!!! However, for 1, I feel like I am well equipped to have this conversation but am waiting for my sibling to do it first out of respect. 2 was just bad. I barely drew this year except for gifts. 3 was okay--I did have a large doc in the beginning of the year when I was looking for ideas, but as time went on I abandoned it (I also stopped reading papers, which I don't think you're supposed to do as a grad student...)

My resolutions this year are phrased as intentions (-(c) Matthew). They span several categories. Relationships: I want to open myself to and actively seek experiences of love, because I miss that. That being said, I will only date someone if 1. they have their life together 2. they love themselves and 3. they challenge me to grow. (I do think you can experience love without dating; the thing I'm after is love in an expansive sense.) Work: I want to do enough work so I don't feel guilty about not doing enough work, and also not berate myself for taking a long time to do things. Hobbies: I want to sew at least one thing a month. Chinese: I want to improve my Chinese, especially pronunciation.

Having written this 20 days into 2020, it's not been so bad so far. But I was also really happy in the beginning of 2019. Here's to no global maxima, a monotonically increasing year!

[weakzen]

Wretched Form

Edér loves his salty little skull. To a certain point.

Rating: T

AO3 Version

“This ship is a blight on Eora, a putrescent carbuncle festering with buffoons, hooligans, and dunderheaded tosspots.”

As he neared the starboard side of the hold, Concelhaut whirled and continued to pace, as much as a disembodied skull could pace, anyway.

“Xaurips in the rigging, imps in the forecastle, drunkards at the cannons and the helm! Bah!” he spat, whirling again. “And always the belching, the caterwauling, the slop of spilt drink, the vacant eyes over open-mouthed mastication and the ever-present, unending reek of hagfish. Disgusting, all of it! I would be doing the world a great favor if I excised this malignancy by chewing through the hull and sinking this abominable vessel to the bottom of the sea.”

“NEMNOK AGREE WITH TALKING SKULL, EH! NEMNOK WILL HELP DROWN NASTY GROUNDSTINK!”

Nemnok rushed through Edér's legs, skittered across the floorboards, and began to aggressively scratch at the wall of the hold.

“Oh, buddy, don't listen to him.”

“Yes, Nemnok! Do it! Together, we shall bring them all down!”

Edér sighed, then walked over to scoop up the tiny imp.

Nemnok screeched in protest and feebly swiped his claws, but he quickly became silent when Edér pulled a suole from his pocket and popped it into the imp's small mouth. For a moment, Nemnok stilled entirely, then he lowered his arms and curled inwards as he began to suckle the coin like a pacifier.

“Aw, that's right, buddy.” Smiling broadly, Edér shifted Nemnok into the crook of his elbow, cradling the creature against his chest while he began to rock his arms. “Who's a good imp? You are, little guy. Yes, you are.” Edér gently scratched the imp's belly and Nemnok's legs kicked in pleasure. “You got the cutest little feet and the cutest little tail. The cutest little tummy, too. I'm gonna bite it,” he cooed, cuddling Nemnok closer as he hunched over. “Yes, I am.”

“How revoltingly saccharine,” Concelhaut sneered. “Were that I still had a stomach myself, so I might express my disgust by vomiting upon the two of you.”

Edér glanced up. “No need to be grumpy, little skull. If you want some attention too, all you gotta do is ask.”

“For whom do you mistake me, you simpering mooncalf?” Concelhaut reared up and glowered down at Edér, the flames in his eye sockets burning brightly. “I am Concelhaut, fool! Greatest archmage to ever grace this miserable planet—and I do not ask. I take what I desire, whenever I desire it, just as I shall take your pathetic life once I have secured a new body!”

“C'mere,” Edér said, reaching for the former lich. “I got a whole other arm here just for you.”

Concelhaut hissed and swerved away from Edér's outstretched hand. “Keep your grubby fingers away from me, you cow-handed oaf! How many times must I tell you that before it penetrates that overgrown cabbage atop your neck?”

“Sure sounds like somebody needs a nap.”

“I do not require a—a nap.” Concelhaut grimaced, as though it had pained him to say the word. “Nor do I require your cuddles or your petting or any of your incessant gibbering, you lumbering, half-witted bespawler.”

Edér carried Nemnok over to one of the straw beds for the ship's numerous animals. Kneeling before it, he gingerly placed the imp into a blanket then carefully swaddled the creature, pressing a kiss to Nemnok's forehead after he finished.

“Look,” he began, glancing at the skull as he straightened. “I'll make a little bed for you too, okay?”

“I do not require a bed, either!” Concelhaut seethed. “Curse this wretched form! If I still had arms, I would smite you into the form of a swine, silence your flapping maw with an apple, and roast you into a succulent, honey-glazed dinner.”

“Well, I always did like a pork chop. My mom served 'em with applesauce on top, roasted potatoes and buttered green beans on the side.” Edér chuckled as he grabbed another blanket and shook it open. “Now you got my mouth watering, thinkin' about it.”

“Of course you would salivate at the thought of consuming yourself, you daft pillock. I wager you would be equally gluttonous if I served up a pan-seared cut of your fishy friend with a slice of lemon and some mashed parsnips.”

“Uh, wait,” Edér said, pausing. “Which fish friend, now?”

“That fribbling, layabout libertine.”

Edér squinted slightly.

“The dawdling dew-dropper, with all his insufferable singing and monkeyshines.”

Edér titled his head to the side, his mouth scrunching into a frown.

“Confound it, you dolt! Ondra's blasted whelp! The shark man! The marine godlike! That one. I can't be bothered to actually remember any of your names.”

“Oh, you mean Tekēhu. Okay, I got it.” Another chuckle rumbled past Edér's lips. “Heh, 'fishy friend.' That's real good. Gonna tell him that later.” He whipped the blanket behind himself, draping it over his shoulder, then paused once more. “Uh—what about him, again?”

A noise of deep displeasure rattled from Concelhaut's mandible and he surged away to resume his pacing.

“Damn this humiliation! Reduced to suffering the vacuous fiddle-faddle of a farmhand. Pah!” He swished back and forth across the hold, grinding his teeth. “Damn that ghastly, meddling busybody. Once more, this is entirely her fault. Damn her and her tedious puns and her consistently overcrowded pack. Who requires that many eggs, anyway? And for what purpose? They are not even hard-boiled for the rigors of travel!”

“Never know when you might want a road omelet.”

“When I regain corporeal form,” Concelhaut continued, ignoring him, “I shall delight in her vivisection. I will slowly dissect that loathsome saucebox, layer by grisly layer, until I hit bone and peel that Watcher's soul free. Then, victorious at last, I shall mount her ridiculous horns in my study as a trophy and a warning.”

“Y'know, I almost got to touch those horns once,” Edér said, as he gathered straw into a pile. “I had my hand and my face buried in her smoke hair—which is real soft and pettable, by the way—and I started to reach for her horns when, suddenly, I just couldn't move anymore. I fell over, and she started to drag me across the ground by my foot. At first, I thought she was tryin' to get me to some help, but then she just left me under this tree with a beehive in it. Few seconds later, an arrow knocked that thing clean off the branch.” He grinned. “I had to go jump in a pond. Couldn't sit down properly for a week after, neither.”

“It does not surprise me that a dullard such as yourself would be easily ensnared by a cipher's parlor trick.” Concelhaut rolled his flames. “Mindhunters,” he huffed in disgust. “What an inappropriately overwrought title for those Glanfathan savages who practice that feral excuse for magic.”

Edér hummed in consideration as he hugged the pile of straw together and shaped it into disc. “Well, I dunno 'bout that. I think it's fun when Serafen goes mindhuntin' and guesses my thoughts.”

“What, precisely, is there to guess?” Concelhaut twisted to face Edér. ���You are all field and no crops, farmer! One does not need the proclivities of that mangy, orlan guttersnipe to deduce that obvious fact,” he said, snorting. “And when I have fingers again, I will fashion that hirsute cockalorum into a rug for my washroom, right after I pluck each and every feather from that dour, grumbling bird-woman to stuff my bed pillows.”

Edér fluffed the blanket over the straw bed, then patted the middle.

“All yours, buddy,” he said, flashing his favorite little skull a smile. “It ain't as soft as that rug, or as fancy as that feather pillow, but it should be comfy enough.”

“By the degenerate standards of a Dyrwoodan mongrel, perhaps,” Concelhaut said, scowling at Edér. “Why don't you join your family and all your flea cousins and lie down in it yourself? Or, better yet, do that whimpering, foppish fussbuget a favor and push him into it, face-first preferably.” Concelhaut huffed again. “If that milksop represents what passes for a mage these days in the old empire, then it is no wonder they lost their little war to a bunch of inbred yokels and the pack of illiterate stone-worshippers a hill over.”

Shrugging, Edér sat on the floor by the newly-created bed.

“Guess I'm not as picky as you are when it comes to who's casting, long as they're casting lightning spells, anyway,” he said, leaning back against the wall to rest one of his arms on a bent knee. “Think that might be my favorite type of spell. Well, other'n that piggy one,” he added, grinning. “I've always liked the way you can feel the lightning 'fore it's cast, by the way all your hairs suddenly stand on end. And I like the way the bolts streak across a battle and leave that ghost of themselves behind, haunting the air between everybody for a few seconds. I also like that hot, sharp smell that lingers too. Makes my nose and throat burn a little. It's almost like breathing in a storm, y'know?”

As Edér glanced at him, Concelhaut jerked upright from where he'd tilted to the side, listening. He glared at Edér for a long moment, then abruptly spun away.

“Feh! Like breathing in a storm, you know,” he mocked. “You know nothing, farmer. Your barren mind could scarcely even begin to comprehend the arcane, much less appreciate its full and beautiful glory. You do not know magic. You cannot grasp any of its numerous intricacies. Beyond base superficiality, you will never understand it, not what it truly means, and neither will that long-eared, knock-kneed poltroon! In fact, it offends me that his soft hands are allowed anywhere near a grimoire!”

Concelhaut vibrated in agitation and began pacing so rapidly it almost made Edér dizzy to watch.

“When I am whole once more,” he spat, “I shall grant that pusillanimous mollycoddle the mercy of being adjacent to my wondrous, arcane world, but he will observe it all from a position befitting his mediocrity, one where he may finally contribute something of value to the field by serving his unmistakable superior!”

“Uh, serving how?”

Concelhaut shot across the room and stopped short of slamming right into Edér's face. Shadows danced over his rictus grin while his eyes flickered with malicious glee.

“I shall flay him into sheets of vellum and bind them together into the grimoire I will use to finally scribe those elusive spells of time manipulation. Then, once completed, he and every other mage on Eora, including the members of that despicable Circle, will be forced to bow and scrape and acknowledge, over and over as much as I please, that, short of the gods themselves, I, Concelhaut, am the most powerful creature alive and the only true and worthy master of the arcane realm!”

Bobbing gently, Concelhaut's gaze bore into Edér eyes, hard and expectantly.

Edér blinked.

Then raised an eyebrow.

“…So you're gonna make a whole grimoire, now?”

Concelhaut sputtered. “Th-that is the least important aspect of what I just said, you dim-eyed clodhopper!”

Edér shook his head as he reached for his pocket. “Well, I'm just sayin', you ain't exactly gonna get more'n a few pages outta Aloth, much less a whole grimoire.”

A long and seething noise of distaste whistled through Concelhaut's gritted teeth, then he soared away.

“Then I shall create more from that ample, Rauataian lickspittle! And if she does not suffice, I shall salvage an index out of that prattling, starry-eyed priestess!” Concelhaut shook in anger again, but he immediately spun around when the sound of Edér lighting his pipe echoed across the hold.

“Stop that!” he cried. “Stop that at once!”

“Stop what?” Edér asked from around the stem.

“The smoking, you imbecile!”

“Why?”

“Why? Why?!” Concelhaut sped towards Edér again. “Are your faculties truly so addled at this point that you cannot even recall the countless times I have already answered that inane question?”

Smoke leaked from Edér's lips, a slow and guilty trickle that ended in a billowing, choking cough as Concelhaut glared down at him sternly. Before he was forced to answer for himself, though, salvation rounded the corner of the alcove and meowed at him.

“Hey kitty,” he coughed, smiling. Then coughed again.

The cat darted towards Edér, her purrs rumbling with each step. When she reached his leg, she meowed again, then closed her eyes as she arched and began to rub against him. Edér cleared his throat and beamed down at her.

“Aww, who's the best kitty?” he asked, scratching her head.

Concelhaut glared at the animal. “The best at being an unsightly, imposing nuisance, perhaps.”  

“Oh, don't listen to him, sweetheart. He's just cranky 'cause he's tired.”

“If I am tired, it is only because I am exhausted by the burden of being in your general vicinity. And now you force me to endure the pain of experiencing you stunt your wits, yet again, while you coddle that failed science experiment!”

“He's jealous 'cause he doesn't have a cone,” Edér whispered, winking at the cat as he continued to pet her. She stepped onto his thigh, purring while she kneaded his leg, then jumped into the empty straw bed.

Concelhaut gasped sharply.

“Remove that creature from my bed immediately!”

Edér took a drag on his pipe and exhaled. “I thought you didn't even want it.”

“It does not matter whether I wanted it or not. It is mine now regardless—and I do not share! Remove that detestable creature at once!”

“No way,” Edér said, shaking his head. “She's too cute and there's plenty of room for the both of you.”

Quivering with fury, Concelhaut scowled at Edér then burst over to follow the cat as she circled the blanket. “Get out my bed, you impudent feline! Shoo! Shoo, I say!”

Animancy cat meowed in response, then rubbed against him.

Gasping again, Concelhaut recoiled in horror.

“How— How dare you!”

“Aww, she likes you!” Edér laughed and took another pull from his pipe. “Bet she'd even cuddle if you asked nicely.”

The former lich said nothing. He merely stared at the cat, watching as she kneaded circles in the center of his blanket on his bed, round and round, smaller and smaller while Edér puffed away, until she finally lay down in a coil and nestled into herself, purring in satisfaction.

“…When I regain my body,” he uttered quietly, a long moment later, “I shall find immense pleasure in ripping those tubes from your sides and kicking you from—”

Concelhaut never saw the mace coming until it smashed him into the floor.

“You speak one more word 'bout harming that sweet kitty and I'm gonna have to crush you completely, little skull.” Edér leaned his weight into the weapon for emphasis, pressing a squeak from Concelhaut's bones. “Now, I don't wanna have to do that, but I will if you make me. Are you gonna make me, or are you gonna behave yourself?”

A long and humiliating moment passed before Concelhaut spoke again.

“I…” Concelhaut started, then cringed. “I… I-I promise you I shall never harm the cat.”

Edér nodded once. “Good,” he said, then pulled his mace away. He inhaled from his pipe again.

Concelhaut floated upwards again, then whirled towards Edér.

“…But I never said anything about you!” he shouted, then hurled himself into Edér's forehead with a violent crack.

“Son of a bitch, little skull!”

As he bounced off Edér's face, Concelhaut cackled maniacally and zoomed away. Sucking air through his teeth, Edér groaned and gingerly touched the lump on his forehead. He shook his head, then pressed to his feet to follow his favorite little skull.

“When I catch up to you, I'm gonna put you in a time out!”

Notes:

Written for @pillarspromptsweekly #56, a random roll for Concelhaut, Edér & threats (which I initially misread as 'treats' …lol)

Bonus footage of Concelhaut

[kvcatnip]

OC Interview Meme

@veridium-bye​ tagged me to do this, so I’m going to assume she wants her niece to be interviewed ;) I tag @fourletterepithet​ @ladylike-foxes​ @cullenvhenan​ and @apostatetabris​

1. What is your name?

- Of late, I’ve been called the Herald of Andraste but I rather detest that, so please call me Eirikia.

2. What is your real name?

- Eirikia Emilia Trevelyan, second born of the House Trevelyans of Ostwick. *whispers* What is your name?

3. Do you know why you were called that?

- Well, it rolls off the tongue rather nicely, doesn’t it? However, Eirikia means ‘eternal ruler, ever powerful’ which I am sure was pleasing to a noble family, whereas Emilia means ‘excel, ambitious’ which I am sure my parents wanted me to be.

4. Are you single or taken?

- That’s a rather obtrusive and objectifying question to me as a woman and individual. But, to answer your question... we shall see.  

5. Have any abilities or powers?

- I’m sure you have heard, or you would not find me as interesting to interview, but I do have this magical mark on my hand. Other than that, I’m quite a formidable fire mage. I have... other talents but.... hmm. Yes, let’s move on.

6. Stop being a Mary Sue.

- I assure you I am not, but thank you for the compliment.

7. What’s your eye color?

- They are bright blue, but around my irises is a golden ring that becomes more vivid when I use my fire magic. It’s interesting, as my siblings all either got blue or golden eyes, yet I’m the only one with both. Perhaps it was my magic?

8. How about your hair color?

- Ah, well, it is a vivid red. Hence the fire magic. *shrugs* It was expected.

9. Have you any family members?

- Oh, I have a darling family. My father Roderick Trevelyan is the kindest man I have ever known. Mother, Anais Trevelyan, can be quite... stoic, but she cares deeply for her children. My eldest sister, Bria Trevelyan, is stoic like mother but she tends to be the mother hen to all of the Trevelyan children. The twins, Percy and Lyra Trevelyan are quite a bit younger than me but I have enjoyed watching them grow. Lyra is brilliant and clever, a force truly. Percy... well he just needs to find the right passion.

10. Oh? What about pets?

- I have a delightful horse that was a gift sent to the Inquisition named Deliah. She is a sweetheart, and quite enjoys when we go riding. I also probably shouldn’t call her a pet, as it demeans her but I have a companion whose name is Valencia, my brave wolf. Cullen huffed and gave me a lecture when I brought her back from the Hinterlands. She growled at him and I gave her a good pet behind the ear for that.

11. That’s cool I guess, now tell me about something you don’t like.

- Well, if you have a moment, I have been deeply troubled with the way servants are treated. *an hour passes*

12. Do you have any hobbies/activities you like doing?  

- Oh yes! Have you per chance met Solas? I’ve greatly enjoyed learning from him on a variety of topics. *blushes* I... have also learned some spy skills from Leliana, and a great deal of combat from Commander Cullen. I just very much enjoy learning new things.

13. Ever hurt anyone before?

- Please, be specific.

14. Ever… killed anyone before?

- That would seem obvious, given I often go into battles. It is an unfortunate part of this job.

15. What kind of animal are you?

- Something with feathers, probably. Flying away seems like a nice ability.

16. Name your worst habits.

- I am a perfectionist, often putting myself at risk. I do not handle injustice well, nor when people are unkind. I may also abuse other’s interest in me, but people can be so easy to assume they have a right to anything.

17. Do you look up to anyone at all?

- I appreciate my father for his kindness and willingness to help anyone under his command. I value my sister, Bria, and her sturdy strength. My cousin, Theia, is unabashedly honest and protective. I admire Commander Cullen’s bravery at choosing his own path and morals over his vows. I value Solas, and his mind. It is unlike anything I have ever seen.

18. Gay, straight, or bisexual?

- Bisexual. Men and women are both very beautiful.

19. Do you go to school?

- I was in the Circle for a decade.

20. Do you ever want to marry and have kids one day?

- I... have never been offered that option until now. It seems... strange.

21. Do you have any fanboys/fangirls?

- *raises eyebrow* Surely, you are joking?

22. What are you most scared of?

- Not being enough.

23. What do you usually wear?

- Armor, more often than not. Master Harritt made me a beautiful pale blue set.

24. Do you love someone?

- I love everyone.

25. When was the last time you wet yourself?

- My dear, please do not ask people such questions. That is very rude and embarrassing.

26. Well, it’s not over yet!

- *laughs* That is perfectly fine. Would you like a refreshment?

27. What class are you? (High class, middle class, low class)

- Higher class.

28. How many friends do you have?

- Would you mind terribly if I did not answer this one?

29. What are your thoughts on pie?

- Fereldans rather like it, don’t they? I’ve grown accustomed to it.

30. Favorite drink?

- I do rather enjoy a good cup of tea or a glass of wine.

31. What’s your favorite place?

- Ah, some place far from here, I’m afraid.

32. Are you interested in someone?

- *blushes* Perhaps...

33. What’s your bra cup size and/or how big is your willy?

- I’ve been complimented on them quite a bit, so I supposed they’re a good size.

34. Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean?

- I’ve only ever swam to bathe while out on missions, so I cannot say.

35. What’s your type?

- I shall let you know when I figure that out.

36. Any fetishes?

- Truly, darling, we must work on the level or personal you reach with these questions.

37. Seme or uke? Top or Bottom? Dominant or Submissive?

- Oh. *blushes* Oh my. I cannot tell you that. But I will say that I enjoy... experimenting.

38. Camping or indoors?

- For someone who has spent so much time indoors, I enjoy the outdoors much more than I would have thought.

39. Are you wanting the interview to end?

- No! Please continue.

40. Now it’s over!

-Oh! Well, have a safe trip. Would you like to freshen up or rest before your trip? I’ll have someone bring you to a guest room.

[thetheoreticaljehovist]

Do not be struck with terror just because of their abusive words. For the moth will eat them up just as if a garment, and the clothes moth will eat them up just as if wool...

“Will a multitude of words go unanswered, Or will a mere boaster be in the right?

Will your empty talk itself put men to silence, And will you keep deriding without having anyone rebuke [you]?

Also, you say, ‘My instruction is pure, And I have proved really clean in your eyes.’

Yet O if only God himself would speak And open his lips with you!

Then he would tell you the secrets of wisdom, For the things of practical wisdom are manifold. Also, you would know that God allows some of your error to be forgotten for you.

Can you find out the deep things of God, Or can you find out to the very limit of the Almighty?

It is higher than heaven. What can you accomplish? It is deeper than She’ol. What can you know?

It is longer than the earth in measure, And broader than the sea.

If he moves on and hands [someone] over And calls a court, then who can resist him?

For he himself well knows men who are untrue. When he sees what is hurtful, will he not also show himself attentive?

Even a hollow-minded man himself will get good motive As soon as an asinine zebra be born a man.

If you yourself will really prepare your heart And actually spread out your palms to him,

If what is hurtful is in your hand, put it far away, And let no unrighteousness dwell in your tents.

For then you will raise your face without defect

And you will certainly become established, and you will not fear.

For you—you will forget trouble itself; As waters that have passed along you will remember [it].

And brighter than midday will [your] life’s duration arise; Darkness will become like the morning itself.

And you will be bound to trust because there exists hope; And you will certainly look carefully around—in security you will lie down.

And you will indeed stretch yourself out, with no one to make [you] tremble. And many people will certainly put you in a gentle mood;

And the very eyes of the wicked will fail; And a place for flight will certainly perish from them, And their hope will be an expiring of the soul.”

And Job proceeded to answer and say: “For a fact YOU men are the people, And with YOU wisdom will die out!

I too have a heart as well as YOU. I am not inferior to YOU, And with whom are there not things like these?

[One who is] a laughingstock to his fellowman I become, One calling to God that he should answer him. A laughingstock is the righteous, unblamable one.

In thought, the carefree one has contempt for extinction itself; It is made ready for those of wobbling feet.

The tents of the despoilers are unworried, And the ones enraging God have the safety Belonging to one who has brought a god in his hand.

However, ask, please, the domestic animals, and they will instruct you; Also the winged creatures of the heavens, and they will tell you.

Or show your concern to the earth, and it will instruct you; And the fishes of the sea will declare it to you.

Who among all these does not well know That the hand of Jehovah itself has done this,

In whose hand is the soul of everyone alive And the spirit of all flesh of man?

Does not the ear itself test out words As the palate tastes food?

Is there not wisdom among the aged And understanding [in] length of days?

With him there are wisdom and mightiness; He has counsel and understanding.

Look! He tears down, that there may be no building up; He makes it shut to man, that it may not be opened up.

Look! He puts a restraint upon the waters and they dry up; And he sends them, and they change the earth.

With him there are strength and practical wisdom; To him belong the one making a mistake and the one leading astray;

He is making counselors go barefoot, And he makes judges themselves go crazy.

The bonds of kings he actually loosens, And he binds a belt upon their hips.

He is making priests walk barefoot, And permanently seated ones he subverts;

He is removing speech from the faithful ones, And the sensibleness of old men he takes away;

He is pouring out contempt upon nobles, And the girdle of powerful ones he actually weakens;

He is uncovering deep things from the darkness, And he brings forth to the light deep shadow;

Making the nations grow great, that he may destroy them; Spreading out the nations, that he may lead them away;

Taking away the heart of the head ones of the people of the land, That he may make them wander about in an empty place, where there is no way.

They grope in darkness, where there is no light,

That he may make them wander about like a drunken man.

“Look! All this my eye has seen, My ear has heard and considers it.

What YOU men know I myself well know also; I am not inferior to YOU.

However, I, for my part, would speak to the Almighty himself, And in arguing with God I would find delight.

On the other hand, YOU men are smearers of falsehood; All of YOU are physicians of no value.

If only YOU would absolutely keep silent, That it might prove to be wisdom on YOUR part!

Hear, please, my counterarguments, And to the pleadings of my lips pay attention.

Will YOU men speak unrighteousness for God himself, And for him will YOU speak deceit?

Will YOU be treating him with partiality, Or for the [true] God will YOU contend at law?

Would it be good that he sound YOU out? Or as one trifles with mortal man will YOU trifle with him?

He will positively reprove YOU If in secrecy YOU try to show partiality;

Will not his very dignity make YOU start up with fright, And the very dread of him fall upon YOU?

YOUR memorable sayings are proverbs of ashes; YOUR shield bosses are as shield bosses of clay.

KEEP silent before me, that I myself may speak. Then let come upon me whatever it may be!

Why do I carry my flesh in my teeth And place my own soul in my palm?

Even if he would slay me, would I not wait? I would only argue to his face for my own ways.

He would also be my salvation, For before him no apostate will come in.

HEAR my word clear through, And let my declaration be in YOUR ears.

Look! Please, I have presented a case of justice; I well know that I myself am in the right.

Who is the one that will contend with me? For now were I to become silent I should simply expire!

Only two things do not do to me; In that case I shall not conceal myself just on your account;

Put your own hand far away from upon me, And the fright of you—may it not terrify me.

Either call that I myself may answer; Or may I speak, and you return me answer.

In what way do I have errors and sins? Make me to know my own revolt and my own sin.

Why do you conceal your very face And regard me as an enemy of yours?

Will you make a mere leaf driven about quiver, Or keep chasing after mere dry stubble?

For you keep writing against me bitter things And you make me possess [the consequences of] the errors of my youth.

You also keep my feet put in the stocks, And you watch all my paths; For the soles of my feet you mark your own line.

And he is like something rotten that wears out; Like a garment that a moth actually eats up.”

-Job 11-13, NWT

Your Memorable Sayings Are Proverbs of Ashes

[faerieenergy]

A Life Set for Me

Hello adorable people! I’m sharing one of my first writings publicly that I wrote where I tried to create a painting with words. Let me know what you think (with gentle kindness)! I'm going to share a recent post I shared with my friends and speak about it more in depth. I wanted to weave together different ideas into one patchwork of writing. Although I do meander a bit, think of it as a lovely sketch, that I've taken time to think about, and all the visuals, smells, tastes, and sounds embedded in each and every moment. In my attempt to create a smooth flowing narrative using a random assortment of joyous things, there may be parts that aren't as perfect as they could be when connecting the sections, however, I will try my best to paint words onto a page in a manner that aims upwards towards beauty and encompasses the written word as a beautiful painting. Here is what I shared:"A friend asked me what is the life that I want to set for me. I thought about the most delightful things I could and here is what I came up with: A place to enjoy nature, the blossoms of fruits, the deep enjoyment of psychology, creating music that moves, to be engrossed in an orchestra, to delight at and invoke classical beauty, to be light and feel warmth and lightness in my being everyday, to float amongst the stars, to be immersed in classic novels and literature, to be moved by stories, to be in the good company of a hot cup of tea, a few birds and daffodils, the crunchiness of snow during winter, being able to gaze at the ocean, to feel the breeze beneath me while lying in a hammock, to hear the giggles of children as they run and play, to cuddle with innocent sweet cats, sing the melodies of life, be up early enough to witness the morning dew, be taken away into the past where I can explore ancient civilizations, and understand the deeper mythological symbols that appear in our dreams." We were discussing how sometimes in life, you have to determine your own path, even if others have set one out for you that they would like you to do. Sometimes, others want the best for us, but because they do not know us deeply, they may only suggest things that on the surface seem like the best choices. But because we know ourselves best, we are the best person to make that choice. I've recently felt that we've forgotten about who we are as human beings. We have always been surrounded by the natural world and it is this world that can uplift us, inspire us and make us feel at peace. After all, without Mother Nature, we could not exist. In a quest to earn as much money as possible at an unsustainable pace, I have seen people really suffer greatly, myself included. Before the coronavirus hit, I was a cog in a machine, and I let so much time pass me by without a chance to stop and smell the flowers. When I was working at my job, I always felt unhappy, but never understood why. More recently, I realized that it was because I lacked creativity in my work. I needed to be creative to feel sane. It's a weird thing to think about but after I watched an online lecture about creativity in which it was said that "creative people who aren't creative will wither and die", I realized that's exactly how I felt. For creative people, being creative is like being able to lift your head above the water while you're swimming to take a breath of air. Being restrained from doing so is like swimming with no oxygen and leaving you gasping for your breath. We literally need it to survive. I thought about what my ideal life would look like. I wanted to be surrounded by nature and have a chance to see the blossoming of fruits. Recently, I grew oyster mushrooms from a kit and it was quite amazing to see them double in size everyday. There is a type of magic in that and it happened quite quickly. Being able to see a flower open or a fruit grow right in front of your eyes is magical. I'm currently delving into the depths of psychology. Before I discovered psychology lectures online, I didn't realize how much of an impact knowing psychology could have on a person's life. It's one of the most important things we should know our whole lives. As a creative, I've had trouble fitting into the real world, so to speak, so I felt lost for a very long time. When I discovered that I am the way I am due to my personality type, everything became clear to me. I'm currently reading about Carl Jung, a psychoanalyst from Switzerland and his impact on the field of psychology. While Freud is most famous for being the father of psychoanalysis, he split from Jung due to a difference in beliefs - Freud focusing more on his belief that everything was due to sexually repressed memories and roles, whilst Jung believed that the human mind went a lot deeper and was more complex. What's interesting to note is that Jung infused an element of spirituality to his studies and said that understanding this spiritual side is important to psychology. And I don't mean that in a sort of religious, dogmatic way. What I mean is there are somethings we do not understand as human beings and there are things outside our knowledge that nevertheless are truths, but they are truths in a different way than scientific truths. One of his discoveries was the concept of the collective unconscious. When we dream, the dreams represent symbolic meanings as opposed to literal meanings and the dream is how our conscious mind connects with our unconscious mind. Every person has an unconscious mind that only becomes active while we sleep. The collective unconscious is what all human beings share, all the way from our ancestors to the people who haven't been born yet. We share a common collective unconscious of symbols, myths, and universal truths. Psychologists have been studying this and I found this concept in particular very interesting and surreal. For example, someone dreams of something and they wake up, and look up the dream to see if anyone else has experienced the same thing. Often times, they find that such a dream is already documented in a culture's myths, although the person was never exposed to such a myth in the first place. How could this happen? Likewise, cultures all over the world have developed similar myths and stories, even if they had no contact with each other, so it wasn't because of cultural influence. Yet, how could this happen? I began to get very interested and curious in this phenomenon. The most recent thing I read on this topic was the fact that creativity comes from the collective unconscious, so I began to think...is my creativity something that is wired into my DNA? Something that imprinted in humans' brains that go back millenia? Just like our human brains evolved from lizard brains and other animals, we still retain elements of those brains, on an emotional level, even if our consciousness has evolved. I also wanted to be in a space where I could create music that moves. Recently, Ennio Morricone passed away, and I couldn't help but revisit his performance of "Gabriel's Oboe". It is truly one of the most sublime and poignant pieces to have ever been composed. Music has an ability to move us, to change our lives and make us better men and women. My hope is to be able to create transformative music that transcends and uplifts us. After watching the performance of this piece, I watched the movie "The Mission", where "Gabriel's Oboe" plays a central theme. After I watched the movie, I was so overcome with emotion. The piece gained a deeper meaning for me after I watched it because it provided context of the story behind the song.  Everything in that movie was so symbolic and deep, and I could see at a very deep level what it means to be human. Being able to create music and be engrossed in an orchestra is one of the highest forms of art that I can imagine. Orchestral music has been one of my biggest passions all my life. It was a place that I could go to make friends, work in harmony with others, and learn from our conductor. This involved being pushed, being disciplined, and overcoming our own personal difficulties. It is not easy but it's worth it. In addition to music, the art that has been passed down for thousands of years by our ancestors shows the ideals of civilization, as those long ago experienced it. Classical beauty, has inherent value and that value is derived from goodness, truth, and timelessness. There is a reason why it is so pleasing to look at Venutian paintings. I've wanted to delight in and invoke classical beauty for the rest of my life because I believe by striving to be elegant and refining oneself as a journey towards self-realization, we can become our ideals and these ideals are what inspire other people towards the greater good and to be the best version of themselves. They benefit us, our family, our community and the entire world. Not only of they are inherent personal value, they add real economic value to our cities. Who wouldn't want to be lounging right near a fountain with beautiful Greek goddesses in a grand plaza with Roman neo-classical buildings nearby? Imagine yourself in the ancient city of Kyoto, Japan or the Forbidden City in China, surrounded by  the splendor and symbolic carvings that are part of these buildings. These works of art connect us to the past and provide meaning to our lives. One of the things that brings me the most joy is to be light and feel warmth and lightness in my being everyday. For far too long, I've avoided this because I felt that I need to work hard and do the grind in order to be financially and career-wise successful. But I realized that the solution is a lot simpler than we think and sometimes, it's right in front of our eyes. I noticed that when people are light, they spark lightness in the people around them. Because life can sometimes be difficult to bear, we need a light of hope in at least one person around us. Feeling the lightness and warmth makes everything a lot easier. I haven't done this too much before, but I'd like to float amongst the stars more. Looking up at the sky is marvelous and awe-inspiring. Human beings were inspired by the galaxies up above, something of profound mystery yet wanted to learn more about the cosmos. Everything from our navigation of the seas to astronomy rests upon what we witness in that swirl of stars. The best kind of joy to experience is to wrap yourself up in a blanket or sleeping bag and go witness the constellations on a cool night with clear skies. There you can see yourself among the stars and each tiny shimmer of light as a sun in a far away galaxy. I admit that I haven't caught up to be the most widely-read in classic works, but it is something I look forward to the rest of my life. I love curling up with a good book to read. It's like the movie Alice in Wonderland, you go through a portal and get transported to a new, sometimes whimsical world to explore. Reading for pleasure is one of the most delightful things in life. Immersing yourself in a book is like walking through a painting that has layers and layers of depth to it, carefully crafted and expertly woven together. I realize that many people, in fact, I would say most people do not like pleasure reading or reading in general, and I see that as a little bit of a pity because there are just somethings you cannot easily understand through a short explanation or overview. Thankfully we have audiobooks now that we can tune into when doing chores and other errands but I think the act of reading a book is special in and of itself. To be immersed in classic novels and literature is to be exposed to some really interesting stories and profound ideas. I don't mean just works of fiction but also works of non-fiction that have really changed humanity. You really have to think about the genius involved from the people that produced these types of works. One of the things books are very good for, are to immerse yourself in their world. Like books, movies, films and video games are also forms of narrative that impacts us in a profound, meaningful way. To be moved by stories means that you have experienced something deep and meaningful, perhaps a universal truth that has resonated with you. I recently came across a quote that was quite intriguing to me, "the most personal story is the most universal story". Recently, I have been watching a TV show, SKAM France, a series about the lives of teenagers. SKAM, which means "shame" in Norweigan and where the show originally originated from seeks to break taboos. What is very interesting is that each season focuses on a different main character and a social issue. Combining French cinematic filmmaking with beautifully written storylines masterfully told is something I have not seen in years. I don't remember the last time I experienced such a beautiful set of stories that made me feel compassionate and helped me understand the plight of different issues in a most lighthearted, exquisite way. One of the best things in life is to enjoy the simple things. If I could teleport anywhere in order to be anywhere at anytime, I would choose to reside in the country or in a village where I could relax and where time moves slowly. I would love to be in the good company of a hot cup of tea, a few birds and daffodils as they are some of the most delightful and simple things I could imagine! Tea leaves, freshly picked, in an assortment of flavors from strawberry to mint to orange while watching nearby birds fluttering, taking time to catch worms and eat seeds, and gazing at the yellow sunshine of daffodils is how I'd like to spend a bright early morning. During the wintertime, when it snows, the entire landscape is blanketed with a glistening, pure, white layer of radiance. When you wake up in December and see tiny snowflakes that accumulate amongst the trees and on the grass, you feel magical, like a child who experiences joy for the first time. It is only when you go outside, with your snow boots on, fluffy scarf wrapped warmly around your neck and layered underneath a thick coat and pants that you step out onto the horizon. The crunchiness of snow during winter echoes as you take that first step into the tiny crystals underneath foot. You can smell the crisp, cool air of winter, with a scent of pine trees and burning logs in fireplaces off into the distance. I'd love to sit perched on a rock, on a cliffside, looking into the deep blue sea. Being able to gaze at the ocean, surrounded by sunlight and clear blue skies and puffy white clouds is an ideal vacation spot for me. Places like Santorini, where the city is a mix of blue and white, its royal blue domed roofs and windows, its whitewashed buildings and pebble-lined steps are idyllic and tranquil, nestled up high on a mountain, inviting you to discover its mysteries while you gaze at the blue Aegean sea below. It reminds me of childhood, a time when things were carefree, and can still be, where we played amongst our friends, when we were naive and innocent. To feel the breeze beneath me while lying in a hammock, was to experience a kind of freedom where we could run around on the morning dew grass with just our bare feet and experience total relaxation. It was a place of solitude and and comfort, the hammock enveloping you as you looked up into the sky and started to daydream. It is delightful to hear the giggles of children as they run and play, whether they are playing with dolls, trucks, a violin or wanting to slide down the stairs on a mattress. Their ability to be easily amused and their boundless energy reminds us all that we must not forget the inner child within ourselves. As we enter adult life, it is easy to forget who we once were as children, but important to cultivate that inner child as a lifelong process. Our fascination with young animals and baby animals are most endearing. As a child, my family adopted a kitten, a calico, a tiny girl that had white mitten paws, an orange tabby front leg and a black front leg. She was beautifully colored, in a patchwork of orange, white and black, with a white tip to her tail. To cuddle with innocent sweet cats, such as my kitten was one of my most treasured memories growing up. Within time, she grew up to be a small adult cat, but not without being a silly kitten, who chased after ping pong balls, snuggled in blankets for nap time and mewed in her high-pitched voice. What my cat taught me was that an animal could have her own soul, her own independent mind and thinking and despite humans' attempts to train her, she consciously chose to ignore our requests when called and made decisions for herself. It is important to celebrate important moments and sing the melodies of life, and I believe there is nothing more powerful than a large choir creating a transformative, ethereal experience. One of the best performances of this is the Angel City Chorale singing "Baba Yetu" on America's Got Talent. Baba Yetu, or the Lord's Prayer in Swahili, is an orchestral-choral piece composed by Christopher Tin and well-known in the video game music world. Every time I listen to it, there is a very warm sense of beauty, uplifting spirit, and honoring of ancient ancestors. To be awakened by light and to be up early enough to witness the morning dew, is to witness a beautiful transformation of Mother Nature from her sleep into a goddess that awakens with the healing powers of water that sprinkle all over the endless stretch of grasslands that are the foundation of our homes. It is the beginning of life, as each new day brings new hope and as the sun rises slowly in the distant, we get to experience the beautiful transformation of dark purple to pink to orange to yellow. One of the things I'm most fascinated by is the mysteries that surround ancient civilizations. Even though we have legends passed down to us, there is an element that the ancient peoples lived with that we do not fully understand. In 2014, I went to Anhui, China to see the famed Emperor Mountain, the site many ancient Chinese philosophers and painters went to in order to be inspired. If you have seen Chinese paintings of the mountains surrounded by beauty and mists, that is where they went. As I rode the gondola to the top of the mountain, I felt surreally transported into an ancient world. The clouds were soon below us and the wind at the top of the mountain was strong. During this trip, I visited the mysterious Chinese grottos. There were about 36 grottos constructed, all man-made, hand-chiseled. What was mysterious was that these grottos were not recorded anywhere in local history books and modern archaelogists do not understand what their purposes were. They found very few items for daily living in these grottos so they concluded it must not have been a type of shelter. Perhaps it was a place of religious significance or a place for soldiers to hide in case the city was to be invaded? Although these grottos were discovered in 1993, when I visited in 2014, they still did not know the purpose of these grottoes. What was most intriguing was that these man-made caves were carved in such a way that they were supported by "H" beams and that was before the discovery of modern mathematics and physics. How did they know how much to carve out of stone so that the inside of the mountain would not collapse? Due to mysteries like these, I thought that if I could be taken away into the past where I can explore ancient civilizations, I could discover an essence of life and ancient wisdom only possessed by people of the past. After I learned about the collective unconscious, I began to wonder more about it since it intrigued me very much. I wanted to understand the deeper mythological symbols that appear in our dreams because there were things I was experiencing in life that I did not really understand. As of late, I have been keeping track of my dreams and writing them down to gain an understanding. Although many people may assume that dreams are nothing but a random occurrence of events, I do not believe that to be so, based on the readings I have been doing so far. Even Jung, Freud and neurobiologist/psychologist Pierre Janet have done research on dreams to show that they present a symbolic meaning in our lives, and that the unconscious exists, although we still do not understand it very well. And this is the aspect of psychology that really intrigues me. It is a path I will continue down, to study depth psychology, because I believe it holds the key to so many things in our life that we need to unlock to connect with our true souls. Thank you for reading my painting with words. Much love xoxo

[thehierophage]

Holy Day Meditation for April 4, 2020 æ.v.

April 4, 2020 æ.v. Dies Saturnii, Sol 15° Aries, Luna 25° Leo An Vvi æ.n.

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

The Day of Zayin, the Day of the Lovers

Hebrew Letter: Zayin

Numerical Value as Letter: 7

Numerical Value as Word: 67 / 717 (Zayin+Yod+Nun or Zayin+Yod+Nun [fin.])

Meaning: Sword, ornament, weapon.

Thoth Card: The Lovers (Atu VI)

Alternate Title: The Brothers, The Children of the Voice, The Oracle of the Mighty Gods.

Image:

Correspondences:

Tree of Life Path Association: Key 17 - Tiphareth to Binah (from Sephira 6-3)

Astrological Sign: Gemini

Element: Air

Egyptian Godforms: Various twin Deities, Rekht-merti-neb-Maati, Heru-Ra-Ha

Geomantic Figure: Albus

Gemstones: Alexandrite, Tourmaline, Iceland Spar

Perfumes: Wormwood, Mastic

Plants: Hybrids, Orchids, Laurel, Bending Vervain

Animals: Magpie, hybrids, Parrot, Zebra, Penguin

Colors:

King Scale – Orange

Queen Scale – Pale Mauve

Prince Scale – New yellow leather

Princess Scale – Reddish grey inclined to mauve

The Secret Instruction of the Master:

The Oracle of the Gods is the Child-Voice of Love in thine own Soul! hear thou it! Heed not the Siren-Voice of Sense, or the Phantom-Voice of Reason: rest in Simplicity, and listen to the Silence!

Mnemonic:

To each his Understanding sooth discovers

Wordless: your mode, immortal Twins and Lovers!

Liber Arcanorum Verse:

6. Here then beneath the winged Eros is youth, delighting in the one and the other. He is Asar between Asi and Nepthi; he cometh forth from the veil.

Genius of the House of Mercury:

Zooωasar

Genius of the Prison of the Qliphoth:

Zamradiel

Recommended Text for Meditation:

Liber Cordis Cincti Serpente Sub Figura LXV, cap. 2

Liber Cordis Cincti Serpente

A.˙.A.˙. Publication in Class A. Imprimatur: N. Fra A.˙. A.˙.

II

1. I passed into the mountain of lapis-lazuli, even as a green hawk between the pillars of turquoise that is seated upon the throne of the East.

2. So came I to Duant, the starry abode, and I heard voices crying aloud.

3. O Thou that sittest upon the Earth! (so spake a certain Veiled One to me) thou art not greater than thy mother! Thou speck of dust infinitesimal!

Thou art the Lord of Glory, and the unclean dog.

4. Stooping down, dipping my wings, I came unto the darkly-splendid abodes. There in that formless abyss was I made a partaker of the Mysteries Averse.

5. I suffered the deadly embrace of the Snake and of the Goat; I paid the infernal homage to the shame of Khem.

6. Therein was this virtue, that the One became the all.

7. Moreover I beheld a vision of a river. There was a little boat thereon; and in it under purple sails was a golden woman, an image of Asi wrought in finest gold. Also the river was of blood, and the boat of shining steel. Then I loved her; and, loosing my girdle, cast myself into the stream.

8. I gathered myself into the little boat, and for many days and nights did I love her, burning beautiful incense before her.

9. Yea! I gave her of the flower of my youth.

10. But she stirred not; only by my kisses I defiled her so that she turned to blackness before me.

11. Yet I worshipped her, and gave her of the flower of my youth.

12. Also it came to pass, that thereby she sickened, and corrupted before me. Almost I cast myself into the stream.

13. Then at the end appointed her body was whiter than the milk of the stars, and her lips red and warm as the sunset, and her life of a white heat like the heat of the midmost sun.

14. Then rose she up from the abyss of Ages of Sleep, and her body embraced me. Altogether I melted into her beauty and was glad.

15. The river also became the river of Amrit, and the little boat was the chariot of the flesh, and the sails thereof the blood of the heart that beareth me, that beareth me.

16. O serpent woman of the stars! I, even I, have fashioned Thee from a pale image of fine gold.

17. Also the Holy One came upon me, and I beheld a white swan floating in the blue.

18. Between its wings I sate, and the æons fled away.

19. Then the swan flew and dived and soared, yet no whither we went.

20. A little crazy boy that rode with me spake unto the swan, and said:

21. Who art thou that dost float and fly and dive and soar in the inane? Behold, these many æons have passed; whence camest thou? Whither wilt thou go?

22. And laughing I chid him, saying: No whence! No whither!

23. The swan being silent, he answered: Then, if with no goal, why this eternal journey?

24. And I laid my head against the Head of the Swan, and laughed, saying: Is there not joy ineffable in this aimless winging? Is there not weariness and impatience for who would attain to some goal?

25. And the swan was ever silent. Ah! but we floated in the infinite Abyss. Joy! Joy!

White swan, bear thou ever me up between thy wings!

26. O silence! O rapture! O end of things visible and invisible! This is all mine, who am Not.

27. Radiant God! Let me fashion an image of gems and gold for Thee! that the people may cast it down and trample it to dust! That Thy glory may be seen of them.

28. Nor shall it be spoken in the markets that I am come who should come; but Thy coming shall be the one word.

29. Thou shalt manifest Thyself in the unmanifest; in the secret places men shall meet with thee, and Thou shalt overcome them.

30. I saw a pale sad boy that lay upon the marble in the sunlight, and wept. By his side was the forgotten lute. Ah! but he wept.

31. Then came an eagle from the abyss of glory and overshadowed him. So black was the shadow that he was no more visible.

32. But I heard the lute lively discoursing through the blue still air.

33. Ah! messenger of the beloved One, let Thy shadow be over me!

34. Thy name is Death, it may be, or Shame, or Love.

So thou bringest me tidings of the Beloved One, I shall not ask thy name.

35. Where is now the Master? cry the little crazy boys.

He is dead! He is shamed! He is wedded! and their mockery shall ring round the world.

36. But the Master shall have had his reward.

The laughter of the mockers shall be a ripple in the hair of the Beloved One.

37. Behold! the Abyss of the Great Deep. Therein is a mighty dolphin, lashing his sides with the force of the waves.

38. There is also an harper of gold, playing infinite tunes.

39. Then the dolphin delighted therein, and put off his body, and became a bird.

40. The harper also laid aside his harp, and played infinite tunes upon the Pan-pipe.

41. Then the bird desired exceedingly this bliss, and laying down its wings became a faun of the forest.

42. The harper also laid down his Pan-pipe, and with the human voice sang his infinite tunes.

43. Then the faun was enraptured, and followed far; at last the harper was silent, and the faun became Pan in the midst of the primal forest of Eternity.

44. Thou canst not charm the dolphin with silence, O my prophet!

45. Then the adept was rapt away in bliss, and the beyond of bliss, and exceeded the excess of excess.

46. Also his body shook and staggered with the burden of that bliss and that excess and that ultimate nameless.

47. They cried He is drunk or He is mad or He is in pain or He is about to die; and he heard them not.

48. O my Lord, my beloved! How shall I indite songs, when even the memory of the shadow of thy glory is a thing beyond all music of speech or of silence?

49. Behold! I am a man. Even a little child might not endure Thee. And lo!

50. I was alone in a great park, and by a certain hillock was a ring of deep enamelled grass wherein green-clad ones, most beautiful, played.

51. In their play I came even unto the land of Fairy Sleep.

All my thoughts were clad in green; most beautiful were they.

52. All night they danced and sang; but Thou art the morning, O my darling, my serpent that twinest Thee about this heart.

53. I am the heart, and Thou the serpent. Wind Thy coils closer about me, so that no light nor bliss may penetrate.

54. Crush out the blood of me, as a grape upon the tongue of a white Doric girl that languishes with her lover in the moonlight.

55. Then let the End awake. Long hast thou slept, O great God Terminus! Long ages hast thou waited at the end of the city and the roads thereof.

Awake Thou! wait no more!

56. Nay, Lord! but I am come to Thee. It is I that wait at last.

57. The prophet cried against the mountain; come thou hither, that I may speak with thee!

58. The mountain stirred not. Therefore went the prophet unto the mountain, and spake unto it. But the feet of the prophet were weary, and the mountain heard not his voice.

59. But I have called unto Thee, and I have journeyed unto Thee, and it availed me not.

60. I waited patiently, and Thou wast with me from the beginning.

61. This now I know, O my beloved, and we are stretched at our ease among the vines.

62. But these thy prophets; they must cry aloud and scourge themselves; they must cross trackless wastes and unfathomed oceans; to await Thee is the end, not the beginning.

63. Let darkness cover up the writing! Let the scribe depart among his ways.

64. But thou and I are stretched at our ease among the vines; what is he?

65. O Thou beloved One! is there not an end? Nay, but there is an end. Awake! arise! gird up thy limbs, O thou runner; bear thou the Word unto the mighty cities, yea, unto the mighty cities.

Love is the law, love under will.

[themockingcrows]

Two Fates, Two Kingdoms Ch. 13: Changing Plans

This chapter is SFW ao3 Mirror: [X]

Rest and recovery find Dave back on his feet and adjusting best he can to the world around him now that only half of it is in view. Yet for every step he gains, the world seems intent on tossing more and more stumbling blocks in his path, trying to make him hit rock bottom. News from Prospit's King offers a view of the future that seems bleak.. but when viewed with Jake and John at his side, that grim future seems like it can be twisted into a plan for something far more familiar set against a twilight sky.

    Dave resting in a portion of John's bed was a common sight by the time he'd started to recover and nobody had the status to argue the prince's actions. His own siblings certainly weren't going to argue with him. In fact, they were actually promoting the setup as it made it easier to care for Dave and ensured their sibling would not wind up lost in his grief. The sounds he'd made upon being called and rushing to Dave's side had not been human, far more primal in his misery even while he hovered off tot he side, terrified of moving him at all before a healer could get to him. The most he'd been able to do was clasp his hands and sob miserably, touch Dave's pale face and ask him repeatedly to wake up.

    He'd been certain on more than one occasion that his lover was going to die. Every time his breathing slowed down, he held his own breath and stared in terror to make sure the narrow chest was still rising and falling steadily enough, only exhaling when Dave made a sound or resumed a faster rhythm in his dreams. Snores were blessings, letting him know without looking too closely precisely what was happening.

    With John and Kanaya insisting, Dave's treatment proved straight forward enough. He needed to be propped up and kept at a good angle, easily achieved with cushions and blankets molded into place beneath his body. Medicine, bitter and terrible to try swallowing, needed to be taken at regular intervals to keep down the pain he'd be feeling. He needed to eat, needed to drink, needed to rest. As well, he'd need constant monitoring till he began to recover to ensure he wouldn't fall again and he could get the best care possible.

    The healer not bothering to hide their displeasure over having to treat Dave didn't go unnoticed. All it took was the phrase 'I'm a healer for humans, not for animals' for Kanaya to make a mental note to call in some favors from the house staff to ensure a steady stream of inconvenience for the next while and John to seriously consider replacing them.

    Jane ensured a steady supply of rich broth and sweet foods, filling and hopefully appealing enough to encourage Dave to eat even during fits of nausea and dizziness. She frequently visited to make the deliveries herself, trying to get more feedback on what he seemed to respond positively to most often. Really, without her coming by as often as she did, John was fairly sure he'd have forgotten to eat with any regularity. Jade, though her visit was only the one time in person to get a personal look at the Dersite once he'd woken back up, made a promise to deal with the perpetrator personally after a good long Winter had passed with him waiting in custody.

    Jake was a constant visitor, at least every day before Dave was able to start walking steadily on his own, wanting to be around to help him out and make sure John actually slept. Luckily, Dave didn't seem to mind his help, more than glad even in his medicine and injury induced haze that Jake's help was ensuring that John could actually catch a nap without feeling guilty.

    If anything, Jake was exuding more than enough guilt all on his own. Six days after Dave's injury John was tucked into his blankets with his head down, bags dark and pronounced beneath his eyes and breathing slow from how deep he'd immediately plunged from exhaustion, while Jake sat up with Dave, conversing quietly with him.

    “..You don't have to blame yourself, you know,” Dave said suddenly, making Jake go quiet and stare. A rebuttal was obviously on the prince's lips, and thought it tried desperately to rise to the surface at least twice in denial, he eventually went quiet and nodded.

    “I know. There's no way to know this would have happened, but. Still,” he murmured. “If I'd managed to do something different, make a better impression on the ruffian, he may have turned his ire towards me instead. It's less likely to result in actions like what happened to you, people tend to.. how to put it. 'Wuss out' when push comes to shove against royalty.”

    “You still shouldn't blame yourself,” Dave said. “It'd been building for a while and I was sure I could handle it myself,” he laughed wryly. “Even John's blaming himself. Kanaya's blaming herself. Everyone's blaming themselves instead of letting me blame myself and the idiot who fought with me.”

    He was so glad he could handle conversations now. For the first day or two, all it took to make Dave miserable was sound. Light. Any hint of motion. He still felt awful if he sat upright or walked at all, motion sick and headache stabbing at him even with medicine dulling him out of his mind in every other way. Now, at least, he could talk and listen more readily when he felt alert enough and interested enough in sticking it out. Not like he was able to just drop by the library and find a new book himself to pass the time. He didn't want to even try to think of listening to a story right now, let alone attempting to read it himself.

    The topic had to be broached eventually, though. Daily there came the question, and daily Dave had to address it instead of just quietly living in denial.

    “Has, uh. Has you si-”

    “I still can't see out of it, no,” Dave said too fast, a bit bitter. When Jake flinched and murmured an apology, Dave raised his hands to rub at his face with a heavy sigh. “It's. You don't need to feel bad for asking, I keep hoping it'll come back too. How about this: instead of everyone asking every day, just assume it's still gone till I excitedly scream about it coming back when it reappears? Everyone can celebrate at the same time and I can stop having to risk jinxing it.”

    “That, ah. That sounds like a smashing idea, actually. I've been hopeful but being asked over and over must not be very nice to experience.”

    “It's really, really not,” Dave agreed.

    “Then I'll do that and pass on the message, Dave, don't you worry. Leave it to me and John, you just focus on relaxing,” Jake said as he reached over to pat at Dave's fingers. He remained still when those fingers turned to suddenly clasp his hand, squeezing tightly.

    “..I need to ask a favor.”

    Well. This was new. Normally Dave hated asking for help, let alone asking for favors in times like this when he wouldn't be able to pay anything back even just with more kindness. Even rarer was he to ask direct favors of someone not John or Kanaya. How could he say no in the face of such a momentous occasion?

    “Ask away, Dave, you've got my ear and much as I can offer,” Jake said as he leaned in close, listening in case that soft voice went even quieter for privacy.

    “If anything happens to me,” Dave said, “or if I suddenly die or lose myself. Send word to my brother.”

    “I. ...I'll be sure to personally arrange it,” Jake promised. “Your family will be informed quietly instead of some huge display. I'll be sure to send work through some trusted venues then to Skaia and someone willing to pass the message to Derse if I can't make any of the rides length myself. Shouldn't be horribly difficult to find someone willing to pass a message for some coin.”

    Apparently satisfied, Dave nodded and released Jake's hand with a pat. “I think.. I'm going to try and rest now. Is that okay?”

    “Oh. Yes, why wouldn't it be okay?”

    “Everyone keeps acting like I'm going to die when I rest, I didn't want John to panic if he wakes up before I do,” Dave said dryly. “I appreciate everything. Really, I do. I still need a lot of help but I don't know how to handle all the fuss..”

    “Wouldn't your family have fussed if this happened to you there?” Jake wondered. “Different circumstances, I suppose, but.. Dave, you've been through a lot, it's astounding that you survived. Give yourself a bit of credit and let yourself be pampered.”

    “I'd have been fussed over terribly and been just as confused as I am now, though I also would have been chastised far harder for not speaking up and fixing the problem while I could,” Dave said, expression looking more and more tired the longer he was up and speaking.

    “Chastised! Well. ..Hm. Okay, I think I understand why at least. No doubt I'd be complained at something awful by John and my sisters if this had happened to me.”

    Nodding, Dave reached up to rub at his face and sighed tiredly. “I'm glad you do. ..But for now, I really think I want to sleep. Keep John from jumping out of his skin if you can?”

    “I'll even run interference with Jane next time she comes in with something tasty,” Jake offered, delighting in the grin Dave flashed his way. In some ways, the injury had made him even easier to talk to than he already was, which in itself was kind of astounding. He hoped to get back to the way of talking they'd begun to have prior to the fall, the open conversation, the free admitting of not wanting to remain in Prospit.

    Left to his own thoughts on that note, Jake still was at a loss as to what to do about their father's return come Spring. Surely he'd be wanting the way Dave was being treated to be cracked down on and altered, to have him behaving less like a valued guest and more like the trained beast he was sold as. He already knew there was no way that he and his family would be able to manage that, but.. their hands would be tied. If they resisted their father, he would do as he pleased anyway while ensuring they'd be barred entirely from the Dersite's company. It wouldn't do. Jake didn't want to even imagine what would be done to John, knowing how much he'd resist and how openly as well.

    As Dave settled and closed his eyes, dipping under almost immediately, he couldn't help but grin at the way his hand sought out John's arm even in slumber. It was terribly cute.. but continued to impart the knowledge that things could not continue on as they were for much longer within castle Prospit. Not for John and Dave.

    Nor for himself.

- - - - - - - - - - -

    “Took your sweet fucking time bringing those books back, didn't you,” Karkat noted the first time Dave was able to visit under his own power another few weeks on in his recovery. Dave's steps were unsteady and his gait uneven without something to hang on to, weak when upright too long, and his legs tried to lock up any time he approached stairs, but with John helping him out now and then he was able to arrive in one piece with books in hand. A triumphant moment that he'd likely be stuck sleeping off for hours after they got back to the room.

    “What else would you expect of me?” Dave asked, heading deeper into the room to set the volumes down on a tabletop near Karkat's arm. “I'd like some new ones. For both of us.”

    Karkat peered a the small stack briefly before looking back up towards John instead. “And the translation books?”

    “Not done with those yet. We wanted some fresh books in Prospitian and Dersian though. Haven't really been able to work on that, what with.. uh.”

    “Spare me, I know all the gory details already, it's the talk of the castle. Even reached me, do you know how hard it is to make gossip reach me? Very hard. Very, very, forcefully through my attempts to desperately lock doors and claw my own ears deaf hard.”

    Dave blinked at him before turning to go and sit down, tired already and not wanting a headache to start up. His body was on the mend, but that dizziness and headache was a constant ghostly companion haunting his every damned step, and there seemed to be no way to shake it off. The best he could do was rest often and not push himself, then rest it off when it came for him since there wasn't much else to be done for it. His bad eye was still unable to detect light or motion, useful as a marble in his eye socket for all the good it was doing him.

    “Sounds a bit... dramatic. You just heard it from someone on staff when you were going to eat, huh,” Dave guessed.

    “Yes, not that it's any of your damn business, but it was still impossible to avoid,” he said as he stood up suddenly, going to tuck the books safely away before even thinking of finding something new. “Seemed to think you were getting what you deserved in most cases. Though, the only people I heard, conveniently, were the loudest and most obnoxious ones. I've no idea how many people agreed or how many just didn't bother to shut them up instead of letting them continue to put everyone off their meals.”

    “Charming,” John muttered. “I'd love to know who they were. ...To show my appreciation of course. For the determination to speak their minds freely.”

    “You're not fooling anyone, you'd beat them about the head with that hammer of yours. Subtle,” Karkat scoffed. “What do you want, now.”

    “Books,” Dave said. “New ones in respective languages.”

    “Obviously, I'm asking if you have any fucks to spare about what you're going to be imbibing, or shall I spoon feed you whatever it is I'm feeling today?”

    “..That sounds pretty good actually,” John said with a hum. “Surprise me.”

    “Books on Derse and Skaia, then. Maybe some adventure stories. Nothing better if you're stuck inside than thinking of being somewhere far away,” Karkat said, heading off for the shelves, hemming and hawing to himself in thought. “He hasn't returned the volumes he took out yet however, so the options are limited. But should still be good enough to keep an invalid and his keeper busy.”

    “Who hasn't returned volumes yet?” asked John curiously. “Jake?”

    “I'm shocked he hadn't bothered you with them yet, he came and snatched them off the shelves himself in a flurry. Said he was studying up for some important business.”

    “...Dave, do you know what he might mean?” John asked, crossing the bit of space between them to hug him loosely around the shoulders, smoothing his hair back from his eyes a few times. It was getting longer and longer all the time, it felt. Soon enough he'd be able to tie the front at the same time as the back. “What would be important about Derse to Jake all at once?”

    Dave leaned himself shamelessly, taking comfort in the slight give of the solid body beside him. “I made him promise me that if I died or lost any part of my mind he'd write home to my family somehow and let them know I was gone for. Maybe he was looking up options after that first migraine hit.”

    John quietly sucked air between his teeth at the memory. Yeah, if that hadn't spooked anyone but himself, he'd be shocked. Splitting, screaming, vomit inducing, sobbing migraine was not the definition of Calm Quiet Bed rest in the slightest. “Fair enough guess. Next time we see him we'll ask if he wants to swap anything now that you're better.”

    “You'd better, he took a quarter of the fucking shelf and I want it back,” Karkat complained. He shoved two books into John's arm before walking past him and scaling a ladder a few steps upwards, rummaging volumes for something in Prospitian. “Not a 'please' not a 'thank you', just a 'good morning, Karkat!' and off he walks with an entire reference section. The nerve.”

    “Is it really that odd? I remember coming for a good dozen books whenever I'd been assigned work by different tutors..”

    “Yes, but he's a grown ass man and usually he's somber when there's work to do. Doesn't whine nearly as much as you, though,” Karkat snipped, going quiet in thought before selecting three books from that shelf and carefully sliding his way back down to add them to the stack John was already holding. “Are you going to be able to read any of that with one eye?”

    “The one that works is the one that understands what words mean, aren't I lucky?” Dave asked. “Pity, I lost the one that was nearly able to perfectly translate Prospitian and Skaian! Drat.”

    Karkat froze and turned to stare at the Dersite closely, looking him up and down with a steady gaze before nodding and heading back to his table.

    “Good, you're still an asshole. Nothing major happened, then. Bring those books back soon as you're done, don't let them dawdle on your shelf. Don't repeat falling down the stairs, I'll pummel you with the volumes till you're coherent.”

    Dave and John both grinned. Well, that went better than they'd thought, and frankly it was all Dave could ask for. Less sympathy and fussing, and more business as usual.

    “Think you're ready to go..? We can wait a bit longer if you need it,” John offered quietly.

    “Yeah. I'll visit Kanaya tomorrow, maybe,” Dave said. “Right now I just want to go lay down again, and I'm sure you're excited to get back into bed.”

    “By the fire more like,” John said, not able to hide much of a shiver beneath his cloak. “I'm still astounded you don't feel the same chill I do.. but perhaps I'm very lucky indeed.” He leaned in to softly whisper, “At least your feet don't feel like ice when we cuddle up, I'd soon jump out my skin if they did.”

    Bracing against John's arm, Dave got himself upright and sturdy before reaching for a few of the books to carry, not moving till he felt the gentle press of John's hand on his far shoulder scooting him that much closer for the walk back.

    “You don't say? You get plenty icy yourself, though I've no damned clue how. You practically bask in warmth, yet your feet are always freezing.”

    “I thought you liked the cold, my moon?” John crooned teasingly as they exited the library, Karkat letting out a soft, thankful sigh as they vacated his space and left him to his routine from before their intrusion.

    “I do like the cold. Quite a lot, compared to you, but if we're in warmth I expect to stay warm and not be.. be poked with something cold!”

    The lighthearted bickering grew quiet, all but halting by the time they reached the main hall and the stairs that lay in the way to reach John's room. There was no room for breaking their act too badly, even if they were the worst kept secret in the castle. Everyone, at least, knew how attached John was to the Dersite without question, but there was no point in fanning the flames by chattering about sharing a bed and flirting quietly back and forth. Dave took hold of the other books before John picked him up like a bride, carrying him up the stairs.. and then just continuing on.

    “John. Put me down, this is the easy part,” Dave complained, quieting when he was shushed.

    “It is. It's even easier because I'm toting you around, don't you think?” John asked, making a gentle dip as if they were dancing instead of making any sudden turns or twists before speeding his steps up. “I'd rather get you back to bed in a hurry. Spend a bit of time kissing your neck, see how the idea of a nice bath sounds once I spend a bit of time teasing you.”

    Dave smirked at him, reaching up to gently touch the side of John's face, fingers trailing the edge of his jaw and to cup behind his ear, making gentle drumming motions. “You're going overboard, you know. I'd like to try a bath.”

    “It's not just a bath I'm after,” John admitted, turning corners before going up another set of stairs. “There's a lot more of you I'd like to check on in excruciating detail.”

    “Well, when you put it like that,” Dave said. “How can I resist? If we're careful I don't think it'll be a problem. Just hold off when I say to.”

    “Your word is my command,” John said, leaning down to kiss the side of Dave's neck above his collar, pressing his cold nose to the flesh and making Dave wriggle in his grasp as if he were being tickled by how sudden it was. “Mind reaching the door handle for me? I'd hate to let go of you right now for anything.”

    “Yes, yes, just lean me down,” he laughed, feeling better for being back in the privacy of the tower. After a quick adjustment to the books he was holding, Dave reached for the handle and gave it a sharp tug, leveraging it open with John's help. Finally they'd be back in the safe, quiet space alone for a blessed while.

    “Oh, John! Dave, there you are, I'd been wondering when you'd be back for sure!”

    “....Jake?” Dave asked, looking up towards the fireside even as his now free hand rose to cover John's face, calling for a halt in his amorous attentions.

    “Yes, Jake!” he said with a grin, standing up and closing a thick book he'd brought with him. His eyes were sparkling bright, excited, and the way he swept close was not unlike how John had just been dancing momentarily before. Every so often he and John would sync up like that, casting no doubt on whether they were siblings or not. “I'm sorry I let myself in, but I'd hoped to catch you as soon as I could and you had already taken off. ..Ah! The library! Did you find anything good?”

    John's face twisted slightly, a little put off by the sudden intrusion in his space when he had his arms full of cute man to kiss upon, but he straightened it out soon enough before speaking. “Were you just wanting to visit and check on Dave? He's been getting more able to move around for longer periods, still kind of lists to the side the longer he's up though.”

    “Well, to be expected when an eye's light has gone out. But that's not quite why I came, I wanted to see both of you actually,” Jake said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a folded set of papers, opening them up. “..John, you might want to set Dave down and take a look at these. This is part of why I came.”

    “What is this?” John asked, not looking it over till he swept the rest of the way inside and closed the door with his foot, placing Dave and the books down onto the bed's turned down surface. Only when his hands were clear did he accept the papers and run his eyes over them. “..Father?” he murmured, scanning his eyes back and forth a bit faster, expression growing more and more bewildered. “This. ..This can't be right. Jake, are you sure this is really from him? What in the world changed?”

    “Far as I can tell, there was news from the front and a series of drastic losses.. so. I think this may be real,” Jake said. “Ill planned, erratic and cruel, but real.”

    “What. What's happening?” Dave asked, abandoning the books to crawl to the edge of the bed nearest the pair. He wobbled wildly when John suddenly came for him, dropping the papers in favor of hugging him uncomfortably tight around the shoulders, burying his face in his neck. “Fuck, what's happening?!”

    When John didn't answer, too busy clinging tightly to Dave's body as if he'd fade from view at any moment, it was Jake who took up the duty. “Our father wrote recently, detailing his wishes to be done prior to his arrival. Namely, for you to be made far more public and humiliated to send a message to those in Derse. There was an urging to keep you under tighter guard, and, ah..” he faltered, hands coming together in front of his body nervously, unable to put everything properly into words.

    “To make an example of you at Spring thaw, if we keep being threatened by your country,” John ground out. “That kind of wording doesn't give me a good feeling.”

    “Nor I,” Jake said. “And since none of us are interested in hurting you more than your time in our home has already done, I felt it was a good time to consider some tough options. Though, it does hinge on a few things. John. How afraid of Father are you?”

    “Now? Not scared at all,” John muttered. “I'd fight him myself if he tried to order a hand laid on Dave,” he said, leaving Dave to lift his chin in surprise, trying to look John in the face.

    “I figured about as much, and I'm in a similar situation. ..So. While I feel sad with the idea of the stress we will leave behind, I think it may be in our best interests to make haste and deal with the return price in the future.”

    “Return price?” Dave asked. “What return price?”

    “Why, treason most likely,” Jake hummed. “Escorting an important pawn of a slave to Derse and freeing him to the enemy? Abandoning our own station, assisting an enemy state? Sounds rather treasonous to me. ..Ohhh, Jane is going to be furious, and Jade'll have to wear a dress twice as often, wind up with more to do,” he sighed. “I'd hoped if I ever took up the idea of running for real, I'd have been able to entrust things to you in my stead. But it seems more likely that our sisters will be stuck with our mess. ..Well. At least they're terribly competent, I've no doubt Jane will do a far better job than I would in the long run.”

    Dave continued to stare, the information not making sense to him. ..Escort to Derse? Treason? Abandoning statio- “You're kidding, right?”

    “I'll do it,” John said suddenly, not even bothering to look up. “When are we going.”

    “Wait. Wait, wait, wait.”

    “No, not wait. Go. Going,” John corrected. “We are going.”

    “John, fucking wait I said!” Dave urged, reaching up to grip either side of his face. “Slow down, think for a second. Your entire family would do better with you here, don't throw that away. Jake, you too! If you're hellbent on helping me escape, just. Put me on a horse and send me on my way, I'd make it eventually.”

    Jake looked at him shyly and grinned, picking up the abandoned papers and folding them to stuff back into his pocket. “Oh, Dave, I don't think I could do that. Or slow down, even. I told you before I'd love to see beyond what's been laid out for me, and lo and behold: an opportunity of a lifetime for a worthy cause has been lain out in my path. How could I resist? John wanting to go was not my main plan but, looking back, I assume it's inevitable that if you left he would follow.”

    “Would you have just taken him and disappeared, potentially? Leave me to flounder and wonder where you'd gone?” John asked with a frown. “I'd have headed off with no direction to track him down!”

    “No, no, of course not. I was going to come and talk to you about it soon as I got the message, but.. I needed to be sure if this was even a real option. To see if it could be done,” Jake said. “I needed to research.”

    “So you weren't abducting all those books from Karkat in case I got worse, it was because of the letters.. and you were already wanting to leave,” Dave mused. “What did you learn then?”

    “That we need to pack and go before thaw,” John muttered, silencing himself when Dave placed a hand flat over his mouth to force the quiet.

    “Well. I learned what the terrain would be like, unless it's changed too terribly since that book came out. And.. I learned about some of the wildlife,” Jake said. “I'm kind of shocked how inhospitable it sounds, but there must be a reason your people live there.”

    “I mean. You could also just, you know. Ask me,” Dave pointed out with a lifted brow. “It's my home. I won't be able to warn for Everything and I don't exactly know every path, but I do know how to get to the capital with a good chance of survival. Things are different in Derse than Prospit, who better to ask than a Dersite from the motherland?”

    Jake's face flushed bright and he cleared his throat. “I. Yes, of course. I'm sorry, Dave, of course I should be consulting you for that. We both should. I suppose I just wanted to get a gander at what was potentially ahead before even suggesting anything. Get a taste to see if I'd be able to actually handle the act before getting any hopes up. If I didn't believe I could handle it, I would have come asking if John wanted to help you flee, or even go with you to ensure your safety.”

    “Like I said, I can handle a horse, I could go on my own if I had to,” Dave said stubbornly before glancing to John. “..Think about this, John. Treason. You'd be as viable an option for the headsman as I would be if you do this and get caught. What about that? Do you think you can really handle that..? Not to mention Derse isn't exactly a source of heat and sunlight, especially now. This is a terrible season to be traveling in, Jade could tell you as much. Don't throw away everything and put yourself at risk when I can do it myself.”

    John frowned and slipped down to rest his knees on the floor, reaching up alongside Dave's neck to feel along the collar before finding the loop of the pendant he had given what felt like a lifetime ago already, the familiar swoops and curls of his crest still glimmering. Gently, he tugged at it.

    “I'm not letting anything separate us, not after all of this. If you went on your own out of some bullshit way of 'saving me' from something I want to do, I'd try to follow anyway. ...Besides. I hate to be the bearer of bad memories, Dave, but you're not exactly at the top of your game anymore. It'd take longer than the deadline to get back more towards normal to ride a horse those distances, let alone try to ride, travel, and potentially fight. ...Let me help you,” John said quietly. “Let me come with you. Let me keep you safe. Let me take you home.”

    Dave was quiet for a moment, a hundred arguments on his lips. He looked up towards Jake who was keeping his distance, arms crossed awkwardly as if he were unsure if he should be watching or if he even should have brought this conversation into the room. When Dave looked back, John was still staring at him expectantly, expression intense but worried.

    “...And if I asked you to stay, once we got to Derse?” Dave asked quietly. “If I asked my brother for permission, and asked you to stay instead of putting you at risk coming back to Prospit after breaking so many rules?”

    “Would I get to stay by you?” John asked.

    “Yes. But you might not be able to come home,” Dave warned. “If you follow me, I won't want to let you come back to a fate like that. Even if you got tired and came back on your own it might not work out how you want it to. You too, Jake. Leaving might make coming back impossible. Are you prepared to give your entire country up just to go see other places? ..I'm pretty sure John and I could manage alone.”

    “I've become quite attached to leaving by now, Dave, and regardless of what John chooses, I'm taking you to Derse. I wish to see you get there, and I'd also be protecting my younger brother, what kind of sibling would I be if I remained here?”

    “A responsible one,” John snorted, but went quiet when Dave directed his eyes forward again, attentive. “Mhmm?”

    “What do you say, though, to the potential of never being able to come back here? Would you still follow me, John?”

    “To the ends of this world and probably parts of the next if that's what it took,” he said without missing a beat.

    Dave smiled, though the smaller grin bloomed into something broad and bright. He stole a kiss and took his time with it for a moment, ignoring Jake's attempts to look anywhere but at the two of them, and slipped his arms up around John's neck as he spoke softly.

    “And if I asked for you to remain the sun to my moon, to walk with me till the ends of the skies and back? To hold my hand and brave the fires and ice side by side, would you still agree to do so?”

    Jake's head snapped up and directly to them, gaping. “Now, wait just a moment, I do-”

    “I do,” John said. He knew damn well what he was doing, what he was saying. The words were slightly different, but just like the fairytales and songs, there was enough overlap to give assurance that the words meant the same time. “Do you intend to light my skies in darkest night and lift my sorrows burden from my shoulders while I do the same in turn?”

    “I do,” Dave murmured. “You know I do.”

    “When else would I have gotten to hear you say it for sure, though?” John asked quietly, kissing Dave's forehead and hugging him tight.”There's no way I'd be allowed to do a vow with anyone who didn't gain my father's approval.”

    “Well,” Jake said, flustered and not entirely sure what to say now. He'd always assumed his brother would wish to wed someday in the future, but he never expected to see such a diversion from the predicted path with him. And of all people to fall so hard for, an enemy prince.. “While we're breaking a few big rules, we may as well break all of them I suppose. Try to keep it under wraps till we leave? If we survive to Skaia, perhaps we'll get lucky enough to find someone willing to do a proper rite for the two of you. I doubt Father would ever accept it, and I've a feeling Derse may not agree either, bu-”

    “I don't care who accepts it or not, I've never felt more certain about anything in my life. We'll survive to Skaia,” John said, fervor not only remaining sturdy but increased. “We'll survive all the way to the city beneath the mountains, and see what we can see while we're yet alive to see it Jake.” The stakes were just raised considerably, and in his mind it was all for the better. They wouldn't just be fleeing as lovers and family, but as two who were going hand in hand to eternity without the pomp and circumstance afforded to their stations and a steadfast guardian making sure they all made it safely.

    Dave smiled at him and stroked at John's arm before pulling away, trying to crawl further up the mattress to lay on his side and rest. “Just give me a few minutes.. I'm still awake. Just need a little bit of time down.”

    “Well. Since this seems to be an all around agreed on idea,” John said. “What, uh. What do we actually need to DO to go do this?”

    Jake smirked at him, coming close to snag his brother round the neck and scrub his scalp with his knuckles through the thick mound of wild hair till John struggled free and rubbed at his own head with both hands. “We need to do a lot of things. Namely, carry on business as usual first and foremost, but we need to arrange for leaving with as little hiccups as possible.”

    “How so, though?”

    “I'll be leaving instructions behind for Jane and Jade, as well as a brief memo for them both loosely explaining why this is happening. We need to be sure we have supplies packed. Food. Weapons. You know, general things. We'd also need to be sure the horses were able to be readied at a moment's notice, and if we keep this low key as we can it should be easy to manage this.”

    “...How do we not freeze to death..?” John asked worriedly. “It's not even thaw yet.”

    “We're going to wait as long as we can before going, I imagine,” Jake said. “We need to be ready to leave at any time, but holding off as long as we possibly can would be for the best. John, why don't you and Dave spend some time discussing the best way to do things, and I'll keep reading. We'll swap information and ideas as we progress.”

    “This sounds less like running away and more like planning a business excursion with father,” John said with his tongue stuck out. “Can't we just. You know, plan enough and hurry and go?”

    “He's not going to suddenly appear from the walls like the Boogeyman, John, we need to be methodical about this. Just because the need is urgent doesn't mean we can just leap in to this. We're trying to get Dave home, not get him out of the castle to freeze to death with us, right? Right. Take care of your beau. Mind yourself, and get bags together. We'll be gone before father comes home.. It'll be fine.”

    Dave hummed quietly but didn't say anything. He still had concerns both obvious and obscure, but there was no way to dodge the escalations if the pattern from before held true. This fall hadn't killed him but he might not be so lucky next time if anyone else got any ideas, let alone whatever the king might have in mind to make an example out of him. Fleeing was the best option. ..He just wished there was a less messy way to do such a thing, a way that felt less selfish even if he was ecstatic that John had so eagerly done a vow.

    “How about.. we aim for another week from now,” John suggested. “Come back in a week and we'll trade notes and plan more. Too often now that Dave's healing might seen suspicious. Time to think would be good.”

    “It'd give us time to go see Kanaya too,” Dave pointed out. “The library might be a bust now unless there's a good map available, but it's probably worth another shot. If we can at least see Kanaya though, I know she'd help find a way to make sure we were comfortable. The woman's amazing. ...It's going to be sad to leave her behind.”

    “A week sounds excellent,” Jake agreed. “..And don't worry, Dave. There'll be some way or another to get back in contact with her in the future. You're rather unforgettable.”

    “I hope you're right, Jake,” Dave said. “..I hope you're right.

[theletterunread]

Reflexes

This story follows Spooky and Execute.

All the way down Park Avenue, the sidewalks were empty and the shops were locked up. I assumed (correctly, I later learned) that there had been a police directive to get everyone off any streets above a subway line, in case of another attack. In the absence of any people or cars to look at or listen to, my sense of smell heightened, and I was hit by the disgusting aroma of Manhattan that greets all newcomers before they acclimate. Crossing the street to avoid a pile of garbage, I walked right through a waft of sour milk and dishwater.

Staggering back and forth, and eventually walking straight down the middle of the street, I suppose I cut a suspicious character, and a few faces peered out at me from within the buildings I passed. Nobody would let me in. I tried making the universal “phone gesture” with my thumb and pinky, but it didn’t get me anywhere. At 23rd street, a very tall woman on the other side of the street stuck her head out her door and yelled to me.

“What are you doing here?”

From the tone of her voice, I could tell that she was one of those people who lived in fear and liked it. A day like this was right up her alley. I tried to be as non-threatening as possible, but had little illusions about my chances. “I’m just looking for a phone I can use.”

She gave me the crook-eye. “This is a strange place to be looking for a phone.”

I took no satisfaction from being right, just moved on. “Have a nice day.”

This alarmed her as much as anything. She slammed the door, and I had a feeling she was going to call the police or Homeland Security or whomever and ID me as a suspect. I made a sudden left on 23rd and a right on Third Avenue to put some distance between us.

The sidewalks were just as empty here, but south one block I saw a pet shop with an open door. Inside I could hear voices, and when I rang the bell at the front desk, two women came out from some narrow aisle. They looked flushed and rattled, like I’d interrupted an intimate moment, and the conversation they were having was clearly improvised to suggest nonchalance.

“Take this compressed air,” said the store’s proprietress, handing a can to her customer, “and when your cat jumps up where he’s not supposed to be, blast him with this.”

“Yes,” said the customer, woodenly. “I will.”

“But you also need to give him positive affirmation when he does something right. If he brings you a dead mouse, you might think ‘gross’, but think about what he’s saying to you. He’s saying, ‘Stephanie, recognize me! I am cat!’ And he wants to share that with you. And if you react with ‘gross’, how will he feel?”

“Hmmm. Yeah, wow.”

“I am CAT!” The proprietress threw her arms up when she yelled this time, and I was starting to wish I’d found another shop. She turned to me. “Can I help you?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry, may I use your phone?”

“I know you,” interrupted Stephanie. “Where do I know you from?”

I looked at her closer and realized she was the army girl with the big eyes and bloodlust whom I’d talked to during my F train delay at the start of the day. I explained this to her, expecting a little delight at the coincidence, but she just said, “Oh,” and turned away.

“Who are you calling?” the proprietress asked me.

“My own cell. It’s lost. I want to see who picks it up.” I didn’t add that I was hoping it would be picked up by a little girl who I feared had been kidnapped along with a pop star. I didn’t feel like inviting questions.

She took a phone out from under the counter and pushed it over to me. As I dialed, they resumed their fake conversation.

“So, Anastasia…how do you know so much about cats?” asked Stephanie.

“I’ve always had a connection to animals. My family has a story…before I moved to the city, I lived, like, out in rural North Carolina, and I went deep into the woods one day, and my mom couldn’t find me. She got the whole family together to search and they found me playing with wolf cubs.”

I put my finger in my free ear, and pressed the receiver tighter to my other. I could still barely hear over this story, but it didn’t matter since nobody was picking up on the other end.

“And everyone was all scared, because it looked like they were attacking me, but they were just playing, like they would with any other cub. And I looked at my family like, ‘What’s everyone worried about?’”

I hung up the phone. Stephanie was shaking her head in awe. “That’s an amazing story.”

“I know. Everyone’s always all astounded by Timothy Treadwell, but I’m like, ‘I was doing that when I was six.’”

“Who’s Timothy Treadwell?” asked Stephanie.

“You don’t know who Timothy Treadwell is?” gasped Anastasia. “Oh my god, are you serious? I can’t believe that!”

I hate that conversational convention – the fake astonishment at a gap in somebody’s knowledge, the condescension disguised as uncontrollable surprise – and make a point to interrupt it whenever I see it in action. “Timothy Treadwell,” I explained to Stephanie, “was a guy who spent several summers living with grizzly bears in Alaska. He felt that he had a relationship with them, a bond. Until one day when a grizzly just up and ate him and his girlfriend.”

“Oh, that’s sick!” exclaimed Stephanie.

“No, it isn’t!” said Anastasia, and flashed me an angry look. “They must have done something to make the bear feel in danger. Humans are always doing that. They probably hit the bear with a rake.”

“I don’t know if that happened,” I said, “but I agree it’s not ‘sick’. It’s just what happens. These are wild animals, he didn’t really have a relationship with them. Eventually nature asserted itself.”

“You don’t think humans and animals can be partners?”

If it seems improbable to you that I kept finding myself, everywhere I went, in philosophical debates, I can only wave my hand apologetically and assure you that I’m reporting my day exactly as it went. “I think we can have relationships with animals. But there’s always going to be some level of division. And I think it was delusional of Treadwell to think he could have a safe relationship with grizzly bears.”

“Well, people are always getting into and staying in human relationships that are bad for them. How is that any different?”

I was about to say that I thought that she’d made a good point, though not one that contradicted my position, when Stephanie’s phone chimed. “Oh! That must be…my boyfriend,” she said, again clearly improvising. “He probably wants to know what…cat stuff I’m getting.”

“Yes, well, let’s finish your shopping,” said Anastasia, leading her away again.

They were going to some lengths to keep me in the dark, which seemed pointless, as I didn’t care what they were up to, but if they wanted to play secret agent, I wasn’t going to bother them. I picked up the phone and dialed my cell again. The phone rang and rang and nobody picked up. But this time, without a loud conversation in my other ear, I was able to hear a buzzing coming from somewhere in the store in time with the ringing phone. I hung up, dialed again, and left the receiver on the counter as I followed the buzzing.

The store was bigger than it look on the outside, and one aisle looked more like a zoo than a pet store: a panther paced in one cage, and about 30 jellyfish blurbled around in a huge tank. The only empty cage was the one whose sign read, “Homer Chimpson.” I followed the buzzing to an alcove stacked high with dog food. Behind a layer of cans was an animal carrier covered with a blanket and bearing a sign reading “Beware of Dog!”

I yanked off the blanket and saw behind the carrier’s door my buzzing cell phone and a human being with her hands tied behind her back. She had a canvas bag over her head, but I recognized the miniskirt. It was Emma Fay.

“Step back from there,” came Anastasia’s voice behind me, and without giving me any time to accept the order, she pressed something cold and weighty into my back. I understood immediately, from a lifetime immersed in American culture, that it was a gun. And while I would like to tell you that my dominant emotion was impatience with the implausibility of somebody actually pulling a gun on me, I was mostly just scared. I already knew how little this woman valued human life.

Once, 15 years before, I came as close to death. I was part of a group of girls making lip-sync videos in and around our high school. We called ourselves The Agitated Muffins, after an Oscar Wilde line we’d all read and convinced ourselves was hilarious in that way that affected nerds do. We weren’t very terrific or anything, but we managed to keep up the output, and by our fifth video, I had developed a reputation as the stunt woman. (It started when I was the only one willing to drop from the courtyard balcony and be caught by the four girls who were going to take over the next verse of “Don’t Cha” from me.) For this video, I was to jump onto the back of a car and sing my stanza as the driver sped down the avenue. I secured myself by holding onto the car’s antennae. In my other hand, I was carrying the camcorder.

We rehearsed once or twice in the early morning when there were no cars on the road, but by the time we got to filming, traffic had picked up. What the other drivers thought when they saw a car pull in front of them carrying a 17-year-old on the back, I don’t know, but they weren’t alarmed enough to give us much space. So when the antennae snapped and I slid off the trunk and onto the asphalt, I only had about eight seconds before the oncoming Volvo would squish me under its front wheels.

There was no time to stand up – and it wouldn’t have done any good, since I would have still been in the path of the car – so I raised up on my butt in a half Navasana pose (if that helps you visualize) and kicked off against the camcorder which had handily landed near my feet. The slight recoil spun me around 90 degrees, leaving me parallel to the car’s direction. I flattened myself and the Volvo passed over me, the wheels not more than six inches to one side.

The other singers and I took a break to calm down and conceive of a less fraught alternate scene to put where my stunt would have been. The day’s mood was shot, but we resumed filming that afternoon, at my behest. I think now that I was afraid that if we stopped working, I would have to face what happened, and that would make me too scared to every try…not just performing, but too scared to try anything again.

(In the end, I didn’t do much more performing in my life. While filming the video after next, I overheard the rest of The Agitated Muffins making fun of me behind my back: “She never stops talking,” “Why does she do that hair thing every time she finishes a line? She has to stop.” Just usual teenage stuff, I suppose, and reading it, maybe you can’t see why it upset me. But feelings are the one thing in this world you must respect absolutely. I left the troupe and never participated in another video. But maybe I’ll wind up in another movie after all: I’ve had meetings with three separate studios interested in optioning my story – yes, before this book is even done. However little artistic integrity you imagine there is in Hollywood, you’re being too generous.)

The memory stayed buried for a long time, for just that reason: I didn’t want to seize up with fear from the past and miss the present. But when I felt the gun in my back, my brain, rapidly scanning for any pertinent experience, dredged up the whole story. And sure enough, I did seize up and miss the present. There’s a blank spot in my memory until Anastasia frogmarched me into the basement, Stephanie hoisting and struggling the animal carrier down behind us.

Half of the cellar was full of pet shop supplies, half full of firearms and explosives. There were small, cartoonish bombs that I recognized from Maxine’s destruction of Van’s studio. Anastasia led me into a corner, took my bag, and began riffling through it. “How do you know her?” she asked Stephanie once she’d made her way down.

“She was on the train this morning.”

“And she lived?”

“I guess.”

“What is she doing here? Were you followed?” She stopped short on pulling the Anne Wysie book from my bag, and went totally silent when she found the model of Bran’s Castle. She gawked. Stephanie came over and gawked too. “Why does she have this?”

“I got it from the artist’s studio,” I explained, thinking I could contribute something to the process. But Anastasia just shushed me with a wave of her gun.

“I don’t like this,” said Anastasia. “I don’t think she should be here. She was on the train, she’s got the model, Fay was carrying her phone…she’s working for someone, and she shouldn’t be here.”

“But maybe she’s on our side,” suggested Stephanie. “And if we kill her…”

Anastasia nodded and lowered her weapon. “We’ll keep her here while we take Hutton to The Gardener.” She grabbed a length of rope from one shelf and bound my hands behind my back.

“Who are you? What’s going to happen?” I pleaded. “Don’t do this! Why are you doing this to me?”

“From now on, no questions.” Stephanie put a canvas bag over my head, and turned to Stephanie. “You bring the car around. I’ll call The Gardener and tell her to expect us.”

As soon as they were up the stairs and I heard the door’s lock click, I slipped my hands out of the ropes. When I was kid, I read a chapter book whose title eludes me where a scientist-adventurer’s daughter escapes from being tied to a stake, and I still remembered her technique. Since my experience shows that it is actually worth it for the average, non-adventuring person to know how to escape from bondage, I’m happy to pass along the technique: while you’re being tied up, subtly flex your muscles and strain against the rope. (Asking your captor inane, terrified questions while they tie you up, to distract them from what you’re doing, was my personal addition to the strategy.) That way, when you relax, the rope will not be tight against you, and you will have room to wiggle out.

I pulled the bag off my head and released Emma from her cage. She gagged at the sight of me.

“You again?” she asked, unappreciatively.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, no thanks to you. They put me in a box!”

“You think I got you kidnapped? Forget it, forget it,” I interrupted myself. Accuracy wasn’t important. “Where’s Fia?”

“Who?”

“The…the other person who was there! The little girl!”

“She was with me in van, and then they brought me in here and drove off with her…”

“To where?”

“I don’t know…to…the garden, they said.” There was no way that continuing to talk to Emma would be more informative than ignoring her and devising a new plan. I picked up one of the bombs from a shelf and tossed it between my hands while I paced. If Emma backed me up, I stood a chance of physically overpowering them. But the possibility of failure, or even of the gun going off accidentally was too catastrophic. Crawling back into my ropes and playing docile and cooperative might save me, but it wouldn’t save Emma. Without my intervention, Anastasia and Stephanie and whoever The Gardener was would kill her, and there was no way I could abdicate that responsibility. This was the opportunity that had been forced upon me, and I couldn’t morally refuse it.

It only made sense to crawl deeper into the lion’s mouth.

“Are they going to kill us?” Emma asked.

“Us? No.” I put the bomb in my bag and pulled out a sweater. “But here’s how you can get out. Let’s switch clothes. I’ll take your place.”

She looked me up and down. “Will they fit?”

“Yeah, we can…if you’re worried, you can stuff this sweater under your shirt.” I looked around the basement. “And this bag of catnip. In the dark that’ll be enough to look like you’re pregnant.”

She nodded and we quickly exchanged outfits. I think that this moment is what pushed my celebrity over the edge. My actions later that night were such that I’d have been hailed a hero no matter what I was wearing, but to uncover a conspiracy and stop a murder while wearing a Roy Lichtenstein mini was an irresistible visual image for the news and social media.

I tied Emma up, put sacks over both of our heads, and climbed into the dog carrier with my bag. A few minutes passed before Stephanie and Anastasia returned, which Emma filled by mumble-singing one of her hits. My thoughts, meanwhile, went to trying, for the first time, to be ahead of what would happen next. All day, I had been given a glance at a second New York operating below the surface of my city. I wasn’t so egotistical to think that it was anything but chance that put me in this position, but then, that’s a false metric. It’s never anything but chance that guides any of life. Where meaning comes in is in our ability to seize the momentum of chance when it passes our way. The train accident, the celebrity encounters, the secret passages, the unexpectedly dead, the unexpectedly alive, the wild animals…there was a pattern somewhere, but there was a lot of noise as well, a lot of flourishes that belonged to another story.

There was something important humming underneath the surface of this line of thinking, so I kept my focus upon it, even when our captors came back down, warned “me” to stay in the basement and not even think of escaping, and hauled my carrier up the stairs and into the back of a van. We drove for not more than five minutes before they stopped and hauled me out again. In fact, the elevator ride to the top of the new building was nearly as long as the car ride. It was an old, slow machine (through the pores of the bag on my head, I could see that we were on a freight elevator – the kind with those huge horizontal doors that you have to use a rope to slam shut) so I figured we didn’t go more than four or five stories.

At the top floor, Anastasia hauled me out of the carrier, while Stephanie breathlessly announced me. “Gardener, we’ve got Hutton.”

“You don’t have to use a code name,” was the reply. “I know who she is. She knows who she is. Why does she have a bag on her head?”

“So she wouldn’t know where she was.”

“Who cares if she knows? She’s about to die. Something like this just draws attention.”

This person whipped the sack off my head, and as my eyes adjusted, I saw that we were in an attic full of moving boxes. The scene set, my eyes began to focus on the person who’d unveiled me. I was face to face with Molly Petalmeadows. “You?” I asked reflexively.

“Me? How about you?” she shot back. “Who is this? Where’s Emma Fay?” Molly asked her lackeys.

“She was in the cage at the pet store,” gaped Anastasia. “This stupid bitch must have switched places.”

“What do you mean, stupid?” I asked. “I legitimately fooled you.”

Molly reached below her hem and pulled a small pistol out of an ankle holster. She pointed it at me, but kind of lazily. Her attention was more on the other two. “Why is she here?”

“She came into the store…” mumbled Stephanie. “We were hoping you might know…”

“I’m not here for any reason,” I explained. “I went in to use the phone, and found Emma in a cage. I don’t care about your…” I caught the word “murder” in my mouth. “Your conspiracy. I’m just looking for a little girl.”

There were tons of holes in this explanation, and I shouldn’t have been surprised that Molly picked it apart quickly. “Why would we know where your daughter is?” I didn’t answer. “She was the one… you two were there when we kidnapped Emma, weren’t you?”

“Uh…yes.” I conceded.

“You think I don’t see what’s going on? Everywhere you go, Emma Fay appears. Every time Emma Fay’s in danger, you turn up. And we’re supposed to believe you’re not involved?”

“You don’t have to believe anything,” I said, an old line that helps you get the upper hand in any argument. “I’m telling you how it is. I came to the pet store to use the phone to reach Fia.”

“And the doctor’s office? Why were you there?”

“I didn’t even want to be there! I was there because Dr. Shimin wasn’t in his office.”

“Right. Of everyone in the city, you just happened to go to that doctor. And as soon as we disappear him, you just happened to turn up.”

“You disappeared him?” I couldn’t believe I was using that sense of “disappear”. “Why?”

Now, of course, life isn’t like a movie, where you can get the villains speechifying and explaining everything. Nobody answered the question, since they thought I knew all this already and was just playing with them. I found out later that it was because Dr. Shimin knew that their leader was pregnant, and had suggested he might sell the news. And this gang believed that you couldn’t take over the world and be a mother. Well. I wonder what they think when they see where I wound up.

Anyway, as I say, they didn’t answer at the time. All that happened was Molly stepping a little closer with her gun.

“Okay, I guess I don’t care. But I’m telling you, these are coincidences, all,” I protested, with dripping impatience, but I was starting to get a little scared. Obviously, you know I’m going to survive, but in the moment, I genuinely wasn’t sure I would. A gang that wouldn’t hesitate to commit assassination or terrorist attacks wasn’t going to have compunction about killing me.

“Why don’t you stop jerking me around?” asked Molly. “What does Emma know?”

As proclaiming my innocence had only got me closer to a bullet in the brain, I decided to push back with a bluff, one rooted in a theory that had been brewing from the moment I recognized Stephanie. “She knows you blew up the F train.”

The women fell back a step, validating my guess. “How does she know?”

“I told her.”

Stephanie stomped the ground. “Fuck! You were on the train right before it got to the tunnel!”

“That’s right,” I said, stalling for time. “That’s right. I was there and…” At last, two pieces fit together. “You let the chimp loose on the tracks, diverting the train up to Penn Station. Where you’d planted the bomb.”

“Shit…” said Molly, lowering her gun fractionally. “Does she know about The Strand?”

“We all know about The Strand,” I said, bluffing with more confidence this time.

“It’s not what Root Beer wants,” said Anastasia, with a hand on Molly shoulder, “but we could just go back to the shop and kill Hutton now. It would still get it done.”

“Again,” said Molly, “you don’t have to use the code names. We all know who we’re talking about.” Of course, at that point, I didn’t know who Root Beer was. Even once I knew who it was, I didn’t understand the name’s meaning until it was explained in one of the New York Times articles detailing the conspiracy. I could tell you I figured it out myself, but I don’t need to exaggerate my accomplishments.

“Fine then,” sighed Anastasia, “let’s go back to the shop and kill Emma now.”

“And this one?” Molly inclined her head towards me. “Should we…”

“I don’t see why not,” said Stephanie. “Whoever she is, she knows too much.”

Molly cocked the hammer and pointed the gun at my head. I could tell you that in the moment that I faced death point-blank, I conceived of a great plan, but the truth is, I had thought of this minutes earlier.

I cringed away from the barrel of the gun. “Can’t I have one last request?”

“This isn’t death row,” said Molly.

“It’s nothing complicated,” I said. “I just want one last cigarette.”

“Aren’t you pregnant?” asked Anastasia.

“That hardly seems relevant now, does it?” I kneeled down and reached into the animal carrier for my bag. “Do any of you have a lighter?”

Anastasia handed me one and, still kneeling down, I used it to light the fuse on the bomb I’d swiped from the pet store basement and stashed in my bag. I stood up, chucked it at the women and took a flying leap towards the nearest window. The force of the explosion pushed me through the glass and I started falling.

Just as I had estimated, we were four stories up. It was a grander stunt than I’d ever done, but the techniques are the same whether you’re dropping ten feet or 40. I knew I’d land safely. “I am cat!” I thought to myself and laughed for, I think, the first time all day.

[ruffsficstuffplace]

Of Rocks, Romantic Rivalries, and Rune Rangers (Part 1): After Action Report

Note: This takes place in the “Avalon” universe, a fantasy/sci-fi world.

There are two races, Humans, who are immigrants from the “Old World” (Earth as we know it), and the Fae, a humanoid race with animal features like tails, ears, claws, and so on, who are vastly more muscular and speedy than humans, and generally have more powerful naturally occurring magical capabilities.

Humans (or appearing almost completely human) are Shiro, Lance, and Keith.

Fae are Allura (bunny), Coran (Weasel), Hunk (Wolverine), and Pidge (Chinchilla).

For @katieshirogane @ghostgenocide and @takashiholt

“I've been bested... by a rock...” Allura muttered, her bunny ears drooping in sadness.

The Core was deathly silent, the mood dark like they had just received information that the Galra had wiped out one of their most populated cities off the face of the realm, just like that. Lance sulked in his chair, face scrunched up in consternation, Coran drummed his fingers on the table, his weasel tail wagging in frustration behind him, trying to will something, anything from his mind to come screaming forth, but the only ones that did were of absolutely no use.

“I've been bested by a ROCK!” Allura cried, clearly on the verge of tears. “How, in my father's good name, have I been bested by a rock?!”

Lance and Coran looked uneasily at each other.

“Well, it is a very nice rock...” Lance started.

“One with an interesting pattern of moss growing on the side of it, according to the Lady Pidge...” Coran added.

“So what, am I going to have to go around all of Avalon looking for a rock more special than it to win her heart?!” Allura cried. “What even makes that rock so special? Is it an act of human courtship that you haven't explained to me, Lance? Have the Celestian Fae started giving rocks to each other as a form of affection during my 1,000 year slumber? Is this some sort of secret code from her days in Jahilliyah, where they gave their lovers rocks so none of their superiors could tell they were fraternizing within the ranks?

“You know what? Forget it! Coran!: what does my schedule look like for going around Avalon looking for rocks?”

Coran pulled out his tablet. “Well, your majesty--”

“No, no, no!” Lance cried, crossing his arms in the air. “You are not going out there and looking for rocks!”

“Because you're going to do it for me?” Allura asked, brightening up. “Oh, thank you, Lance, that'll be such a huge help!”

“No! I'm not going to go out there to find rocks for you!”

“Not even if I command you as your Rune Guardian...?” Allura asked, raising an eyebrow.

Lance paused, surprised that such a gesture could look incredibly threatening, before he put his arms up in the air. “Okay, first up: no, please, no, don't use your freaky Crystal Maiden powers to force me to go out there looking for rocks.

“Second: seashells are MUCH better, because they're not friggin' rocks, it reeks of desperation to try to one-up the other guy with the exact same thing they already impressed the girl with, and walking on the beach or diving for them is so much more exciting than walking around mountains and forests looking for rocks.

“And third: I'm pretty sure that Shiro's giving that rock to Pidge is totally a sentimental value thing. I don't know what the hell happened with them on that hike of theirs, but it's definitely gotta be something super romantic, super exciting, super badass, or knowing Shiro, all three at once.”

“But what could have happened?” Allura whined.

“Maybe a giant wild boar chased Pidge up a tree, then Shiro risked his personal safety leading it away with rocks, and he happened to have that one left over in his pocket when he finally came to save her?” Coran offered.

Lance thought it over. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

Allura sighed. “I feel positively terrible for wishing that it was me in Shiro's position...”

Elsewhere, Keith and Shiro lounged in the Dining Hall, waiting for Hunk to work his magic with a nigh unlimited supply of fresh ingredients from all over Avalon.

The round table was unusually quiet, both because Shiro looked like he had just narrowly survived a suicide mission that shouldn't have worked nearly as well as it should have, and Keith was busy looking at him with a mixture of pride and smugness.

“Still can't believe it, huh?” Keith asked.

“I'm… I'm really surprised and pleased that your advice worked, Keith,” Shiro replied. “Is giving rocks some sort of traditional gift of affection among you Fae/Human hybrids?”

Keith shook his head. “Nah. You could say it was just a lucky guess.”

Shiro chuckled. “Luckier still that it worked so well.”

“So how'd it go down?”

“Well, we were hiking through Argus, enjoying the scenery...”

“Yeah, lots of pretty green things to admire there,” Keith said.

Shiro blushed. “Yes, the vegetation is indeed quite lush and impressive. Thankfully, the animals either recognized the both of us from our earlier fights there, or they just didn't deem us worth the effort of attacking, so we made it through the whole trip unmolested.

“Pidge got tired from all the hiking, so I offered to carry her on my shoulders. But, she said she didn't want to be a burden, so we decided to take a break on a large rock.”

Keith groaned. “Come on, Shiro, really? That was a prime opportunity you let pass, just like that.”

Shiro frowned. “I wanted to respect her wishes!”

“I can understand that, but sometimes you have to man up and take control! Girls don't like total pushovers, and Pidge doesn't strike me as the kind of girl that dresses up in tight leather outfits, and forces guys to kneel before her and call her 'mistress.'”

Shiro paused, blushing bright red.

Keith's expression slowly, slowly fell. “… Okay: let's just agree to forget I ever said that last part.”

Shiro nodded. “Agreed...” he muttered.

“So, you two were sitting on a big rock taking a break, and…?”

“I noticed there were many smaller rocks lying nearby, ones she could easily carry in her pocket,” Shiro said.

Keith raised his eyebrows. “And then...”

“I remembered your advice, so I think to myself, 'Here goes nothing…', pick one up, and offered it to her.”

“What'd you say?”

Shiro paused. “'Hey Pidge, look at this rock.'”

Keith blinked. “And…?”

Shiro looked away. “… That was it.”

Keith sighed and shook his head. “You're never going to win her heart if you don't take a chance, Shiro! Especially with Allura using all those shitty pick-up lines she got from Lance!”

“Have you even heard some of them?” Shiro countered.

“Unfortunately, yes! But the point here is, they still make her laugh, and I'm pretty sure you're aware that there's no better way to get a girl to fall for you than getting her to smile on a regular basis.”

Shiro blushed. “Well, she did say 'Oh, sweet, dude, thanks!' and smile when I gave her that rock!”

“What kind of smile? The polite, 'Oh, I'll just put this over here' smile? The 'I don't know what this is all about, but it's from you so that makes me happy' smile? Or an 'Oh wow, something I really like from a guy I really like!' smile?”

“… I really don't know.” Shiro said. “She was very excited about that rock, you see, examining it, noting that it had an interesting pattern of moss growing on it, asking me what I should name it, and I was…

“… Distracted.”

Keith sucked in a deep breath, and sighed. “Okay, I won't fault you for that. But you did make your move afterward, right?”

Shiro didn't answer.

Keith leaned in. “Shiro, please tell me you didn't waste that etherian opportunity to tell her how you really feel.”

“… She really loved that rock, you know,” Shiro muttered as he looked down. “I… I didn't want to spoil the moment!”

“Or you were just so distracted by her cuteness that it totally slipped your mind that you could have easily slid a confession in.”

“… That too.”

Hunk arrived with two steaming plates of food, with an extra-large one for himself. “Dinner is served, you guys!” he said as he laid it out in front of them.

“Thank you, Hunk,” Shiro said, smiling as he inhaled the delicious aroma of freshly cooked food.

“It smells great, and probably tastes even better!” Keith said as he prepared to dig in with his hands.

“Probably?” Hunk asked in mock offense.

Keith made a pleased noise as he bit into his food. “Sorry: definitely tastes even better.”

Hunk smiled, pleased. He sat down at a free seat, before he stopped. “Aw, man! I forgot the hotsauce!”

“I'll get it,” Shiro said as he got up.

“Thanks, Shiro!” Hunk said as he nibbled at the parts of his meal that could do without it.

“Don't mention it—it's the least I can do!” Shiro called back.

Back in the Core, Lance held up an ancient human tape measure, pulling it down to roughly where Pidge's head would be relative to him. “So then you say, 'Any guesses as to how long it'll take for you to fall for me?”

Allura was unamused. “Lance, that is one of the worst pick-up lines you have ever suggested I use.

Lance sent the tape back into the case. “Well how bad is it?”

“Let me put it in terms you will understand: I am sorely tempted to take that tape from you, smack you across the head with it, and find out how long it takes to beat the shit out of you.”

Coran was confused. “But the device measures distance, does it not? Unless I can't see how it can keep track of time...”

Lance wisely pulled the measuring tape out of Allura's reach. “No, no, it's a pun, you see? Pidge likes puns when they come from you, doesn't she?”

Allura sighed. “Yes, they do seem to delight her to no end, which is wonderful, especially considering I feel pieces of myself die from uttering those words, then come back to life with her smile...”

“You're exaggerating a little too much there, princess!” Lance said. “Hyperboles are all about knowing just how far to stretch the truth.”

“You assume I am speaking figuratively, you are sorely mistaken,” Allura said flatly.

Lance turned to Coran. “My pick-up lines aren't that bad, are they?”

“Well, I can't accurately say seeing as I'm not human, and myself and Princess Allura have been in cryostasis for the past 1,000 years, but I can say that all those witticisms of yours wouldn't have earned any positive attention from potential mates among the Fae in our time, even if they could understand Nivian!

“As you probably already know from your studies of Actaeon, we Fae are very fond and discerning of our puns!”

Allura sighed as the two of them started to argue about the merits of Nivian vs Actaeon when it came to wordplay and flirting. She got up, and the two looked at her and stopped.

“I appreciate the effort you two are putting into helping me win Pidge's heart, but I think we should concede defeat this time…” Allura said as she stepped out of her chair. “Now if you'll excuse me, I'm heading to the dining hall to make myself some tea.”

“You sure I can't just make it for you, your highness?” Coran asked as he got up off his seat.

“No thank you, Coran, I could use the walk,” Allura replied as she waved her arm in front of the doors, the runes in the ancient stone slabs glowing bright before they slid apart for her.

She sighed as she walked down the grossly incandescent halls of Rune Terra, completely lost in her thoughts. She could have made the trek asleep, with how many times she had made that same trip from the Core, the castle completely unchanged from the 1,000 year hiatus the Rune Rangers had taken from protecting Havalon—or as she supposed she was going to have call it now, Avalon.

She wondered just how different things would have been, if a different team had risen up before Shiro and the others.

Wondered if her father and his fellow warriors' sacrifice to defeat Zarkon and the Galra Empire the first time around had actually brought peace to the land like they thought it would, and hadn't opened up the gigantic power vacuum it did.

Wondered if the erstwhile alliance between the native Fae and the just-landed humans hadn't quickly dissolved when the loss of a common foe highlighted and exacerbated the many more differences between the two species, sadly not helped by the Fae's heavily conservative traditions.

So it was an honest surprise to her when she mechanically reached up to a cabinet and found it already open, and more so that she was right beside Pidge. “Oh, Pidge!” she cried, a light dusting of red appearing on her cheeks. “I'm so sorry, I was so lost in my thoughts I--”

She finally noticed that the vertically challenged Emerald Ranger hadn't noticed her either, too busy standing on her tip toes, reaching upwards to the top shelf, and tragically coming just short of the box of Rollio's she wanted.

Allura smiled at Pidge. “Need some help, Pidge?” she asked sweetly.

“Oh, no, it's fine, Princess!” Pidge said, her voice strained, her chinchilla tail stiff and shaking from the stress. “I can… almost… reach!”

Allura chuckled. “Oh, it's really no trouble, Pidge, I can get it for you,” she said as she began to reach out for it.

“Actually,” Shiro said as his artificial arm came into Allura's vision. “I can get it for you instead; I need to get hot sauce for Hunk anyway.”

“No, no, it's fine!” Allura said she grabbed one of the floating sections of rock that made up Shiro's prosthetic arm, pushed it down so hard the other pieces hung in the air for a moment before the magic keeping them together caught up.

“I've got it,” she hissed through a smile, eyes glaring daggers at Shiro.

Shiro glared at her right back, electricity crackling in the air between them.

Pidge slowly lowered herself back down to the floor, eying the both of them in turn, the ears atop her head pulling back in worry.

“Please, don't worry yourself, princess,” Shiro said with a forced smile of his own. He put one foot closer to the counter, prepared to move in and block Allura's way. “Let me just--”

Crack.

“Ngh--!”

Pidge looked down, and saw Allura had “accidentally” stomped on Shiro's foot as she moved in herself, blocking his way.

“You and the others have already done SO much for me!” she trilled as she reached up to the shelves, pulled down the box of Rollio's and a bottle of hot sauce. “Let me return the favour...” she growled.

Shiro quickly wrenched his foot back, wincing as he put it down on the floor.

Allura turned to Pidge, smiling sweetly as she held the box to her. “Pidge~” she trilled.

Pidge looked at Shiro, back at Allura, and slowly took it from her. “… Thanks, Princess...” she muttered before she scurried off.

“It's no trouble at all~!” Allura called out after her. She turned to Shiro, the smile on her face disappearing in an instant. “Shiro,” she said as she held out the bottle of hot sauce to him.

Shiro angrily snatched it from her hand. “Thank you, Princess,” he growled, before he limped away on one foot.

Peering around the corner from the entrance, Pidge watched as Allura turned back to the counter and began to make herself a cup of tea.

She sighed as she made her way back to her room, idly ripping open the box of Rollio's. “I guess Shiro's in the doghouse again...” she muttered as she dug in for a package of sweet, cream-filled cookies.

“Wonder what he did wrong this time…?”

[ciathyzareposts]

Shadow of the Comet – A Friendly Little Town

Written by limbeck

So, here I am, in my not so austere room, getting to grips with the controls of the game. I can move with the arrow buttons, but only on four directions, which seems fair. Sometimes, though, you jump to the next screen by stepping at the wrong point.

Walking around the room, I notice that, as I pass close to an item, a line from my face to that object appears. Handy. I welcomed it with satisfaction at first, but I may reconsider, as it misled me into thinking that it works with all items. More on that later.

Look at my lasersight!

Fortunately, the all-keyboard interface is intuitive and not hard to grasp. You press O for objects in your inventory, U for using an item, G for getting. Even if you haven’t read the manual, you get the hang of it quickly. And that’s really it.

So, once I have perfected my baby steps, I explore the room and pick up whatever I can, which is BOLESKINE’s diary and a telegram from my provisioners. Reading the diary gives me my first clue: a 12-year-old boy had served BOLESKINE as a guide, so there is a chance he is still alive and can point me to the precise spot in the forest. Other than that, BOLESKINE clearly had a poor grasp of astronomy, not recognising the familiar constellations and just randomly inventing new ones.

The telegram was more annoying, because it said that I have to find my own photographic plates. This is critical to my mission, as Mr GRIFFITH really expects “spectacular photographs”. I hope this backwater town has a hardware store or something.

Request refund / STOP / Want speak to manager / STOP

Now that I have my first tasks, I am ready to head out to the outside world. First step is to head out of my room. I then explore the areas of the Doctor’s house that are available to me and notice some really impressive paintings around. The Doctor is not at home, so it is time to explore the town proper.

The immediate neighbours are an old barn-looking house with a bench and a locked door to the east, a forest without a guide to the west and a fancy house, also locked, to the south. The house to the south turns out to be the Mayor’s.

It’s good to be the Kin.. erm, Mayor

To the south and west of the Doctor’s house is the Pharmacy / GP’s office / hospital of the town. I see a guy with a white robe going in, so I decide to follow. Inside, I just catch a glimpse of him getting into his office, so I try to go in myself only to be stopped by a very unhelpful nurse, who is also the daughter of the busy doctor.

South of the pharmacy is the main square, which we briefly saw in our carriage trip. When I first visit, an old lady, Ms PICOTT is sitting alone, but says nothing of importance, so I leave.

One should never presume

Heading west, I arrive at the impressive (according to the description) Town Hall. The clerk in it is, as expected, unhelpful and does not let me see the Mayor, who is only accepting visitors for a few hours each week and only by appointment. I am starting to get really annoyed now. Why does nobody want to get out of their way just to indulge me? I am a visitor in their town after all. They should show some hospitality!

But I brought the forms for the animal census, and these fine leather jackets.

I decide to continue being nosy and I try the other door on the Town Hall building. Inside, it looks like a museum, with several exhibits from exotic lands. This is where I realised that my lasersight does not identify all the items that I can examine or interact with in a location. Instead, when I am close to something that looks interesting, I need to press L to examine it. So, before I continued, I went to all the other locations I had visited and furiously examined everything, but I mainly got background information.

A few minutes later, I am back at the museum, where I discover a lost page from BOLESKINE’s diary. It describes how the stars are really a pistol rifle shot away and closes with a quote from J.Keats: “Truth sleeps beneath appearance”. The remaining art is just flavour text, or so it seems for the moment.

Some of Parker’s lines have these “good lord” and “Oh my”, I suspect for added Englishness.

So, I continue into the door I can see to the north and into the Archives, where I meet the Master of Archives himself. He introduces himself as Tobias JUGG and he is the first person that seems genuinely excited to talk to me. Of course, true to the character of this little town, he already knows who I am. I ignore that and try to get in his good books, which I succeed by striking a conversation and proving my own love for books, by correctly recognising Shakespeare’s quote. I leave him for now and head to a nearby table, where a I search through a ledger and note down three names of men who were 12 years old when Boleskine visited. The names are Curtis HAMBLETON, William COLDSTONE and Thomas GREENWOOD.

Looking over my shoulder, JUGG confirms that all three of them are alive and gives me directions to their houses. I speak to him a bit more, engineering my responses so that they appeal to his love of literature and history. He appreciates that and invites me to his house for a chat later. He also says that he has a large library on local legends, which the locals believed in until recently. After that, he heads out and I leave the Archives.

I continue wandering the town and revisit some of the areas I was before. I notice that there is a couple sitting outside of the house to the east of Dr COBBLES house, which I now know belongs to one of the three people I am looking for. However, Mr GREENWOOD is deaf, mute and blind from an accident during his birth. This makes it very hard for him to be the one I am looking for. The other half of the couple is Miss PICOTT, whom we met earlier. She maintains her unhelpfulness and we move on.

Fortunately for you, he cannot see that smirk when you say that.

Some more wandering later, I arrive outside of the Dead Horse Inn, a name that seems oddly suitable to this town. Outside is Jed DONAHUE, who also knows who I am. News travel quickly in this part of the world. Not that they have to travel too far. Jed was complaining about…, but he didn’t offer anything else other than some more background. Inside the tavern, there is even more unhelpfulness. A group of card players in one table does not want to be disturbed, but is gossiping about RENATO, apparently a misled youth who doesn’t know better. The bartender is ruder than average and does not open up even after I pay an extortionist’s fee of $1 for his watered-down beer.

Dealing with customers: How not to

My little trek around the village then brings me to the post office. As I walk in, I see a map of the area and I hear some heavy object being rolled above. The lady behind the counter mentions that the DONAHUE boy (I presume Jed’s son) is sick and that she really has a lot of work to do. Clearly, she is only bothered by me and not by all the clatter right above her head. I leave.

Yes, like rearrange those mail sacks by the wall

Eager for some intelligent conversation, I head to JUGG’s house. At the entrance hall wall hangs a rifle, which, upon closer examination, turns out to be Lord BOLESKINE’s own rifle. I wonder how it ended up at the doctor’s house. However, despite his invitation earlier, Mr JUGG does not have any more insights to offer so I leave him alone.

Anyway, I keep exploring dutifully and I finally find the town’s general store. I enter from the south and I see the proprietor, Mr MYERS, dealing with a client. A hooded figure who apparently is in the business of direct parcels. He has left one with Mr MYERS, who informs him that another one he sent to some Mrs GUILDCHRIST was delivered successfully. I don’t know who that lady is, but I know the name the wooded figure goes by. HAMBLETON. To be fair, I was a bit careless at the time and I did not remember that HAMBLETON was one of the three people I was looking for. Anyway, the figure walks out, either on a limp or quirky animation, and I can speak to the shop owner.

Maybe townsfolk go to the general store for their mail because the post office is always “too busy”

I go directly to the point and ask for photosensitive plates, which he delivers with delight. Not only that, but he suggests trying them out first and, if they are not good any more, he will reimburse me. Now, that’s what I call good customer service.

Dealing with customers: How to

Loaded with my new plates, I head out from the north door and arrive at the square again. Heading west a few screens, I end up at the abandoned fishery that HAMBLETON lives in. Before getting in, I pick up a rope ladder, because who knows when I will need to go down a cave or something.

Inside, the place is a proper mess. My delicate British nostrils cannot stand the stench, but I persist nonetheless. The fishery has absolutely nothing of value, but I discover a loose floorboard used to hide moonshine and an old man sleeping on a pallet in a corner. As I creepily watch him sleep, I notice that his fingers are webbed, like a frog’s. I feel fascinated, and a bit lightheaded, but I compose myself and decide to speak to the old man.

Subtle

Curtis HAMBLETON tells me that he indeed took Lord BOLESKINE in the forest, at a place with a cross. On the third day, BOLESKINE was painting / sketching when he saw a “thing”. I also learn of another name: WILBUR. He is HAMBLETON’s brother and probably very important. He apparently cursed CURTIS who ended up living in these squalid conditions. WILBUR is still alive as well and he says that in 3 days the comet will come back, and the THING as well. That’s just superstition, right?

After this conversation, poor Curtis goes back to sleep and I am left to think of my next steps, now that I have my plates and a potential guide that does not want to be a guide. I must also note that the Mr HAMBLETON I saw at the general store is most likely Wilbur, Curtis’ brother and he seems to hold some position of power in Illsmouth. I smell a cult, built on superstition and the old legends.

But we’ll have to find these out next time. I did not make much progress in the game, but I enjoyed walking around the town and familiarising myself with the locations. The outline of the city is logical and I never really felt lost, except for the time in the forest, which I assume was intentional. So far, the game does well in letting me play the stranger moving into a small, closed society, which doesn’t really like having anybody poking into its secrets. It may seem stereotypical, but it works. In the next post, I will try to get into that spot in the forest and get some photos taken.

Some other interesting locations that will probably become important later:

N. TYLER’s house is to the north of the pharmacy. It smells nicely of hot soup, but of course it is locked. Suspicious little town.

There is a well that is standing on its own, but I cannot interact with it at the moment.

The way to the port in which I arrived, is blocked by two burly guys.

The cemetary is a blast of fun, according to JUGG.

In the house south of Mr JUGG’s, I see somebody going in and moving on the top floor, snooping at me from the window. Yet, when I knocked, nobody replied.

There is also an abandoned mansion, with nothing to do.

END notes – CD ROM version

Somehow, addition of mouse control makes the game more frustrating. You do not click where you want to go and let the character find his way there. Instead, you hold down the left button and the character moves in the direction the mouse is with respect to him, but again only in the four main directions. You cannot mouse over items either, which makes me wonder why they bothered at all with adding mouse, other than to not seem backward. Outdoors, there is an option to go to a location using the map.

Time played: 1:30 Sanity lost: 1 (from seeing HAMBLETON’s webbed fingers)

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/shadow-of-the-comet-a-friendly-little-town/