#in which add deez nuts

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Round 5

Propaganda

Glenn Close (Dungeons & Daddies):

#Propaganda for Glenn Close: one of the other PCs mentions multiple times how hot he is #Actually several characters point it out but especially Henry #Also the only person in a podcast that has to put a disclaimer about not being a BDSM podcast to have had sex during the course of the show

Young hot rocker dilf

Loyal to his dead wife <3

Does in fact smoke weed

BARD!! HES A BARD. HE WAS LEAD GUITAR IN HIS BAND (that he was kicked out of)

His band was a Christmas cover band btw.

Literally the fandom had hot Glenn summer which consisted of drawing him being incredibly hot and sexy

Anti government (ofc)

Kind of cringefail (Disney adult) (was on dilfs of disneyland)

Young and sexy not your style? Then how about HIM AFTER YEARS LOCKED IN A TIME PRISON WITH A DAMN HANNIBAL MASK ??

Lost an eye and wears a fucking eyepatch

One incredibly buff arm

Has a pet rat named after his son <3

Immeasurable amounts of trauma in this man- becomes progressively more unhinged

OH OLD HUMAN BARD ISNT CUTTING IT? FINE

HE BECOMES A FUCKING DEMON

A COOL HOT ONE-EYED DEMON WHO WANTS TO KILL HIS DAD (also sexy)

HE CANONICALLY ENDS CHRISTIAN HELL VIA CHRISTMAS

IS ALSO WAY OVERLEVELED

Becomes a demon hunter for the rest of his existence

Also nonwhite !!! We are done with cringefail whiteboys !!!!!!!!!

I can’t put into words ok just know he is the best plz love him.

Okay but Glenn made a minivan cum by talking to her so

HE HAS A BOOK THAT HE MARKS X’S AND CHECKS FOR EVERY DAY TO SEE IF THAT DAY WAS A SUCCESS OR NOT. TO SEE IF HE DID GOOD THAT DAY. ITS ALMOST ENTIRELY X’S. HE WAS CUCKED OUT OF A SON. AND A DEAD WIFE. HE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO KILL HIS DAD IN REVENGE. There’s absolutely nothing going for him except his sex appeal in his life. Nobody he loved remembers him. He lost his eye. All he has is a pet rat and friends who admit they don’t really like him that much. He was kicked out of his own band. The band was named after him. He was kicked out of the Glenn Close trio. All he could do was deez nuts the big bad and be sexy. If nothing else, then pity him. Look in his eyes. Look at his heart and soul. He did not do the BDSM episode for this I’ll tell you what. Do this for my his sake. Do it for Nick Jr, who needs the prize money to pay for his rat snacks. Do it for his son. For Morgan. Ganbatte.

Glenn is the goofiest sexiest character there is and I will die on this hill! I will ride into battle for him! what Dndads created is truly unique and Glenn is a key part of that and for that he deserves to win. I said it before and I'll say it again - GLENN SWEEEEEP

Can we talk about how he says ‘baby’ casually? Like he just calls people that?? That’s HOT. THAT IS HOT!! He’s also bilingual and knows Japanese!!!! He’s a big dumb idiot with a lot of charisma!!!!!! HE WORKED AT A BDSM PLACE FOR TWO SEPARATE ONE SHOTS. HES SO SAD BUT PLAYS IT OFF LIKE HE’S CHILL ALL THE TIME!! HE DOESN’T THINK OF HIMSELF AS SINGLE BECAUSE HE DIDN’T DIVORCE HIS DEAD WIFE!!! He’s like.. the perfect guy. We need this win.

I’d also like to add the fact I made this. Which is the first 11 episodes edited to (almost) only have Glenn in them <3 which is a level of insanity I hope to reiterate. These took hours to make. I wouldn’t do that for anyone else.

Mod Note: While I will still take "bad dads are sexy" propaganda and "bad dads aren't sexy" anti-propaganda, I kindly request no more discussion on whether or not he was a bad father. This is a sexypoll, not a parentingpoll. If you see a post you strongly disagree with, you can just not reblog it.

Mod Note 2: This tournament is about fictional podcast characters. Please do not vote for the real actress Glenn Close.

Amber Gris (The Adventure Zone: Ethersea):

Middle aged woman who punches sharks to death. My hero

If you love me you'll vote for amber gris I swear to everything holy on earth amen

Amber is butch, instant win

Amber Gris has a negative charisma modifier and she pissed her pants on purpose in order to trick a guard and knock him out. She tied up a dude. She once killed an evil magic shark (they're out for murder. not like real sharks) by punching it and then picked it up and smashed it into another shark, also killing it. She talks in a southern accent. She calls people guppy because it indicates a lack of respect. She has a big pair of magical green arms that come from her stomach. She got a fancy jacket and immediately ripped its sleeves off. She has a gay thing going on with one of the political leaders in the city. She gets in fights with people and doesnt do vulnerability and tries to lay low and not get in any social trouble she doesn't have to. She jumped through a portal into a new world because she could. She's now the god of said world, alone with only afformentioned political leader, who was previously possessed and she had to fight. She spends her time in a bar called the Cloaca. She calls people she doesn't like claspers, because it means shark penis. She and her friend, an old man named Uncle Joshy, sneak attack each other and yell VIBE CHECK! She tries to talk fancy to impress people and she's really bad at it (verily).

She’s everything and more. She’s irreverent. She punches sharks for a living. She becomes God. What more do you need in a butch.

amber gris propaganda: she is straightup the physical embodiment of "women want me, fish fear me." also she's an appalachian post apocalyptic sea captain. that's just objectively cool.

AMBER GRIS IS PUNCHES SHARKS AND IS (one of) THE MOST BADASS BLACK WOMEN PCS IN DND SHOWS IVE EVER SEEN. SHES INCREDIBLE AND A WIN FOR DYKES EVERYWHERE

amber's creator said she was based off of the type of working-class woman you commonly see in appalachia where "this is the sort of woman that you see walking past CVS, and you know that a truck could hit her and it would just split around her as she continued to go pick up whatever she had to do that day." and that's pretty hot

guys Amber becomes lesbian god of the new world with her childhood “”friend””

#amber gris is LITERALLY a middle-aged butch #she would win this entire tournament in a just world

Last time Amber got horny was when she killed that shark

"it was a savage bummer though, don't-- trust me, there's nothing that great about a history. You know? I got one. What did I do, killed a bunch of sharks? Last time I got horny, god and christ I can't even tell you-- well, it was when I killed that shark. But! Hey. We're all just kinda figuring it out."

Moonshine Cybin (Not Another D&D Podcast: Bahumia):

She's a hot elf with mushrooms growing on her. She has 1 level of barbarian. She's bisexual. She shapeshifted into a dragon and ate a god.

how tf does the post not mention Moonshine’s giant boobs her greatest asset

Moonshine has canonically gone down on a woman for a solid hour without asking for anything in return. Moonshine edged a dryad just by kissing them. Moonshine faced down someone being controlled to kill everyone in his path and told him if he still wanted to hurt her, she would take his blows as a friend. Moonshine makes jambalaya for her family and friends. Moonshine mispronounced someone’s name for a month and that woman still wanted to hook up with Moonshine. These are just a few of the reasons why Moonshine is sexy.

shes illiterate

canonically huffs dirty water from a bong

has big tatas

wears a belly chain with a demon trapped in it

almost became the queen of hell

ate a god

turned into a pregnant moose & gave birth

The woman she went down on for an hour asking nothing in return is still hung up on her, 200 years later. Moonshine is unmatched

To be clear the woman whose name Moonshine mispronounced for a month and then hooked up with is the same woman she went down on for an hour, and the same woman who is still flustered over her 200 years later. The rizz is unparalleled. She’s also incredibly kind and accepting of others, and goes out of her way to bolster her friends. The party always requests one big bed.

moonshine cybin is a druid who learned counterspell through sheer force of will. moonshine cybin turned one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse into a dolphin, flew him 60 feet up into the air, dropped him on the ground, and then spit spores into his face to kill him. moonshine cybin turned into a dragon and bit the head off of a double god. moonshine cybin was willing to confine herself to an eternal hell to save the world. moonshine cybin is a dragon rider. you know what you must do.

Amber and Moonshine Together

Look at them. They should not have to fight when they could be gay instead. Imagine the power they would have combined... Every lesbian in a hundred mile radius of the post would swoon. It may be an odd alliance, but from an Ethersea fan to Bahumia fans, i believe this will strengthen both our odds. I have always been insane about Amber Gris but through this poll I have also learned about Moonshine and come to love her too. Take my hand... We can do this together...

OKAY HEAR ME OUT MOONSHINE AND AMBER WOULD GET ALONG SO WELL

appalachian sapphic solidarity!

Art of Amber and Moonshine from @pirateknight.

[heartsoji]

UM HI IM NOT RLLY SURE IF U TAKE REQUESRS SO IF U DONT U CAN IGNORE THIS.,,

hear me out, KENMA and RINTARO nd NISHINOYA x reader that turns any comment they make dirty 😭 (and a lot of deez nuts jokes bc idc that ppl don’t say them anymore they’re funny 😞)

HQ BOYS W/ AN S/O WHO MAKES A LOT OF DIRTY JOKES

genre: fluff but just a lil suggestive

a/n: STOP BCS THIS IS LITERALLY ME WHEN I HAVE ENERGY

warnings: mentions of nudity, dirty jokes but its pretty mild, two swears, idk wtf i was doing on suna's and noya's lol (ok for noya ive never written for him before but wtf happened with suna)

K. KENMA

"chicken fries, ken. chicken fries." you pestered.

"ok, ok. and can i add one order of chicken fries, please?"

"of course!" said the cashier cheerily through the drive-thru mic. "so just to confirm, a bourbon bacon cheeseburger triple, cheese fries, chicken fries, a large sprite, a medium coke, a vanilla frosty, and a chocolate frosty?"

"yep." kenma confirmed.

"ok, please drive up to the window."

once you two got your food, kenma parked in the parking lot and took a spoonful of his chocolate frosty and smiled contentedly. you laughed in response, to which he pouted/glared to and turned away from you.

"i like wendy's." kenma scowled.

"me too. i love it in my mouth, but also.."you paused. "when deez NUTS are in yours!"

you earned a slap to the head.

"OWW KENMAAA YOU VIOLENT PUDDING-HEAD MF"

he simply smiled and went back to eating.

"..hey, pudding-head."

"what?"

"DONT EAT WENDYS!! HOW ABOUT PUDDING DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH INSTEAD"

(pause)

"OWWW"

S. RINTARO

"our class got a new student today." suna mentioned casually as he scrolled through tiktok.

"yeah, i heard about that! he's from america, right? what's his name?" you asked.

"uhh.. sato. sato phillip." suna answered, struggling to pronounce the first name. "his dad's japanese and his mom's greek."

"phillip, huh?" you wondered aloud. "hey rin, you wanna skip making dinner tonight?"

"huh?" suna asked, confused. "where'd that come from?"

"YOU COULD PHILLIP ON DEEZ NUTS INSTEAD"

"well, that's kinky. i suppose i wouldnt mind giving it a try." suna replied, deadpan. "have you already ordered the attachable rubber balls?"

this guy thinks hes so cool for that.

"fuck you, rin."

"please do."

this brat.

N. YUU

"noya, what should i be for halloween this year?" you asked your boyfriend.

"hmm.." he thought about it long and hard. "a maid!" that earned him a slap to the 2-inch hair.

he laughed. "well, i suppose a fairy could be cute too."

"a fairy? then, you should be the goblin!" you beamed.

"HEY!" nova cried, offended. "why am i the goblin?"

"GOBLIN BOFA DEEZ NUTS"

noya paused for a second before bursting out cackling.

"THAT MADE THE FACT THAT I GOT A D ON MY TEST TODAY SO MUCH BETTER"

you gasped. "but we studied together! he gave you a d?!"

"yeah. i'm giving you a d too."

"boy what?"

"GIVING YOU DEEZ NUTS"

it was your turn to burst out cackling childishly.

"ok but for real, noya. lets be serious. deez nuts jokes kinda suck." you said, getting dead serious.

"HUH?! YOU SUCK!"

"SUCK ON DEEZ NUTS"

noya then POUNCED on you and laughed into your neck, sending ticklish sensations down your spine.

"I FUCKING LOVE YOU"

"I LOVE YOU TOO"

you both doubled down laughing, and you didn't even know what you were laughing at at this point.

[facts-i-just-made-up]

do you have any facts about dreidels?

Though the Dreidel is now associated with Judaism and Hannukah, it was in fact a Viking tradition from Norway in the 800s.

Bloodnar Kriegfang invented the Dreidel in order to decide what torture to inflict upon his captives. To this end, he inscribed four runes on each side of a spinning toy that was carved for him by his great-grand aunt. The runes, Naudiz-Gebo-Haglaz-Sowilo determined whether the victim would be hanged by piercings through their ankles from a tree, forced to walk away from a hook through their intestines, "blood-eagled," or forced to work retail during the holidays.

The Viking-Jewish accords of the 1700s saw Judaism borrow many traditions from the north, including the Dreidel. As Jews of the time had little use for antiquated torture methods and the Vikings had already died out centuries earlier, the object became a Hanukkah tradition because why not. The runes were turned to Hebrew, Nun-Gimel-Heh-Shin, which stood for "Nes Gadol Haya Sham" which is Hebrew for "Some Shit Went Down."

A game was invented to involve the Dreidel, in which different types of nut were bet and taken by the winner, including hazelnuts, pecans, walnuts and pistachios. I figured this was a family tradition and it was normally just a gambling thing but apparently literally every single Jewish person I know also played with nuts, so I guess the answer to traditional gambling substitution really is "Deez Nuts."

Anyhow, if you roll a Nun, you do nothing; a Gimel means you win the pot, a Heh means you get half the pot, and a Shin means you add an entire walnut. The modern five-sided Dreidel also adds an Aleph, and if you roll an Aleph you are trapped in Jumani until someone else rolls another Aleph, or possibly a Lambda.

[nematanthus]

Album Review: Suicide Season- Bring Me The Horizon

In collaboration with @arfarfblegh

Release Date:

September 30, 2008

Tracklist:

1. The Comedown

2. Chelsea Smile

3. It Was Written In Blood

4. Death Breath

5. Football Season is Over [featuring JJ Peters of Deez Nuts]

6. Sleep With One Eye Open

7. Diamonds Aren't Forever

8. The Sadness Will Never End [featuring Sam Carter of Architects]

9. No Need for Introductions, I've Read About Girls Like You On The Backs Of Toilet Doors

10. Suicide Season

Favorite Track:

Sleep With One Eye Open

Least favorite track:

It Was Written In Blood

Album art opinions:

The album cover features a woman in a black dress holding her own intestines in her hands with the bands name and album title in transparent grey text over the top of it. As this album covers personal topics, the picture is fitting, as "spilling your guts" is a figure of speech that means to tell everything about something secret and personal, the exact thing this album is doing.

Color: 5/10

Recognizability: 6/10

Vibes: 9/10

Total: 6/10

Music opinions/notes:

This is the first change in sound that the band has done and they pulled it off very well. The majority of the songs present a theme of struggling with mental health and dealing with suicide, and how it affects anyone and anything. Musically, they went more in a metalcore direction with emotional leads, uses of electronics, and more of a focus on melody. This album is also home to classics that are still perfomed live today, like Chelsea Smile and Diamonds Aren't Forever. Oli's lyrics, while still edgy, have proper themes and meanings instead of lyrical nonsense, which adds another layer of depth to the songs.

Mix: 6/10

Lyrics: 6/10

Instruments: 7/10

Vibes: 7/10

Total: 6/10

Total Score: 6/10

[sad0nion]

I exit my room with the intent of going to the kitchen for some cereal. To get the the kitchen, I must pass through the living room. My mother is sitting in the living room, looking at her phone. Our puppy is also in the living room. He's not doing anything interesting, just laying around, but I notice that it kind of smells like dog in there. Maybe he needs a bath.

I make it to the dining room, which is the mid way point between the living room and the kitchen, when I'm hit with a thought, or a memory. I think to myself, it smells like updog in here! I am amused with the old joke. I ponder about how the premise of that joke has evolved into 'deez nuts' and other similar gotchas. Almost to the kitchen at this point.

Then, I pause. I have been struck with an opportunity, I realize, and I turn back to my mother. "Kinda smells like updog in here, doesn't it?" I ask her, my nose slightly scrunched up to add to the statement.

My mother looks up from her phone. She seems confused. Perfect. "What's updog?" She asks, totally oblivious.

My face breaks out into a giddy smile. "Not much, what's up with you?"

She understands her blunder immediately, and groans, but I am already laughing, already heading the final few steps to the kitchen to get my victory cereal. I laugh loud and long, very excited to have had the joke go so perfectly. I am not laughing at her, but at the success of it.

No one in my generation would ever fall for that specific set up anymore, but my wonderful mother would, and did, and it was beautiful.

[livewiregoth]

Tamagotchi Uni Stuff Part1

Put this as "part 1" because I know at some point I'm going to add more.

Here's some extra stuff I have, I don't have a name for this stuff & don't want to post some of this separately.

Care badges

Here's some care icons(I keep going back & forth, they're called care icons but I call them badges) I got(ones involving actual characters go with their gen posts)

These are some of the badges I got so far, had to get pics of them in the care icon menu cause I missed getting a pic of them when it congratulated me for getting them

Tama Search Stickers

Tama Search is pretty interesting & has led to me going out to bike for two days to try & find as many tamagotchi as I can. The names for some wifi are interesting too like Two Walmarts have wifi called "SaveMoney" & someone had either a hotspot or wifi called "Deez Nuts" which I wasn't expecting to see since it's been years since that meme was active. Once found one called "F***Off"(spelled just like that) & a few called "Notused" or something.

This is an old pic, currently my Tama Friends section says it's at 61.

I used the hot spot trick to get the special tamagotchi, here's all of them.(Well it's been updated by now, I'll check them in a little) Here is a link to the wiki page that has the codes to rename your hotspot to get them.(You only need to do it once instead of visiting multiple times like with the normal ones)

Here's the first 4's scenes

Stuff with Gen1

I worked hard to get these eyes I missed out on. They were at the Tamaverse Fashion place & had a bow, cost 10,400 or so gotchi points but due to finding them before I know most if not all of the price was the eyes. I almost got them at another time but I was still trying to get Sebiretchi & if I tried to earn the amount needed I would have gotten Mimitchi.(Then again the wiki says at the arcade & I was using the DLC game so maybe it'd work out still)

Here's Gen1 asleep, it was funny due to where everything was placed. It looks like she was playing with a doll sized amusement park playset before bed.

[strang3lov3]

Hi Buglet!

for the writers ask game dealie:

Are you or are you not writing a fic about a crocodile?

Kiki! Let’s do this.

Questions are from this post

38. One fic at a time 99% of the time. I have a million fic ideas rolling around in my head but I can only focus on one thing at a time. I’ll add notes to the WIPs but as far as like actually writing a story goes, it’s one at a time.

64. My favorite fic title by someone else is without a doubt “Put It In, Coach” by @magpiepills. It hits the spot just like everything Bat writes. But also, “Deez Nuts” by @beefrobeefcal you might have heard of her, she’s pretty cool. One of my favorite people in the world, actually.

65. My own favorite fic titles are “Erotic City” and “Enjoy the Silence” because they’re music related ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I am who I am

88. Honestly??? Would not want anyone else to write my WIPs. I mean, that’s kinda how I got into writing in the first place. I used to send requests to writers for stories I wanted to see written but then they didn’t totally match my vision, which is completely okay bc we all have different visions for stories but I decided that was my sign to try writing my ideas myself. And so I did, and now here we are!

100. NO. BECAUSE I AM WRITING ALLIGATOR WRESTLER P-BOY, NOT CROCODILE WRESTLER. HA!

[erich-corp]

My honest opinion about my classmates with their behavior. / most likely a rant post

Reminder: This is my opinion, I will also add some other topics as I type.

I am in a Christian-(a person who has received Christian baptism or is a believer in Christianity.) school, and we are supposed to respect others and reduce our sins as human beings we are. However I have seen my classmate's behaviors are way OFF.

In our classroom it is so common for unfriendly jokes like saying awful things, especially jokes that aren't meant for our age. I know this generation got a little worse. but I am so annoyed how they keep using the "deez nuts" or the word "hotdog" and "itlog" As jokes, it disgusted me. Very, as they also do those types of jokes, they also use other jokes that insults people. Like mom and dad jokes don't get me started when they are making skin jokes about dark skin or tan, Which is also racism in itself, They were also making jokes about other classmate's own parents like their father and mother. especially when they say "Imong mama." - ( Tagalog/Filipino version of your mom. ) It's quite offensive to me actually, your own mother raised you, sacrificed their life just for you. Trained you when you were a toddler just for you to become and gain a horrible attitude like that? how awful. NEXT TOPIC

Next on how they don't care what they do or who they hurt. I am not saying that having crushes are bad, it's just normal for us humans to have romantical feelings for one another, but just have a limit to what you do. Just today or was it yesterday, I have a classmate who I am not 100% sure likes a boy in our class. Hey it's normal for that okay, no need to be embarrassed. Although in the next scene, my other classmates began exposing them.-(the classmate who I am not 100% sure likes a boy in our class.) That is just absolutely wrong, they will just lose your trust as a friend especially A BEST friend, Now they will feel uncomfortable, pressured and scared around you this can also be a sign as you being a FAKE friend. Which is something you would not want to be titled around the school, as a friend you must have like a good attitude, a good influence to your friends. That's all I can think to say and rant about their behavior. thank you for staying and reading!

[sq0ux]

Latin Letter Tier List

S: D, J, S

A: L, F, Z

B: B, C, W, X, Y

C: A, E, I, O, U

D: G, M, N, Q, R

E: H, K, T, P

F: V

S tier is reserved for those letters that are special to me. D sets up deez nuts jokes so effectively, also the beginning of several insults that I particularly like (dipshit, dumbass, degen). J is the first letter of my name and is a fun letter, especially in cursive. It has a fun name and a fun sound. S is up here because it is also really fun to write, though less so in cursive. It also has the distinction of being the highest tier despite being so late in the alphabet.

A Tier is for some solid letters. L is really good, very simple, and it's funny to give L's out to people, it also looks really stable and is simple to write. F is up here because Fuck is just so relieving to say, and I think must of that is due to the f sound. It only doesn't reach S tier because it looks lopsided. Z is really cool, and the sound is great. It also has a weird factor that is really appealing to me. The alternate writing Z also looks nice, though I don't like that you have to pick up the pen to add it.

B Tier is for above average letters, we got some heavy hitters like B and C, and the wildcards at the end of the alphabet with W, X, and Y. B and C are staples of the alphabet and provide the foundation of the alphabet with easier sounds. That being said, they also aren't particularly interesting outside of that foundation. W, X, and Y are the opposite, they can only be so out there because of the foundation the earlier letters set up. Again, however, they aren't particularly interesting outside of being weird.

C Tier is for vowels. Vowels are the glue that hold the letters together. They are vital portions of the alphabet and are definitely interesting as a result. On the other hand, their designs leave a lot to desire. A has been tainted by amogus which can be positive or negative, but outside of that it's just not interesting. E is a step up, though unstable looking. I is bad, though i is a little better. I with crosses is even better, though it is not often written as such. O is boring, and U is just passable. The nail in the coffin for me is that they show up so often that they become background noise. Like yeah, they're there, but no one ever focusses on them. Right in the middle of the tier list.

D Tier is below average. G, M, N, Q, and R. G has a banger sound, but its design is confused. When drawing, it leaves your utensil inside the curve, so you either have to pick up your hand or attempt to work your way out of the situation. M and N are so similar, and that is a big harm. They're basically the same design and I don't really like it, and they're right next to each other so you expereince the similarity immediately. Q is weird for the sake of being weird, and its overreliance on u carrying it is dissapointing. Also it borrows heavily from O, but the sounds aren't similar at all, and they are close to each other in the alphabet, further deriding Q in my mind. R is just not good. Design is fine I guess, but the sound peeves me. It's just growling. Don't like much at all.

E Tier is for letters I'm especially dissapointed in. H, K, T, and P. H and K are just worse implementations of G. In order to draw them, you have to pick up your utensil or think a lot about how to navigate the minefiels without it looking awful. Their designs also aren't cool enough to make up for it like X. T is just I without the bottom cross, so it looks really unstable. It looks like it could fall at any moment. It's sound is also substandard and also falls into the pick up utensil problem. P is basically T, but better sound and more unstable design. Also can't hear anymore without immediately jumping to -nis, though that's just me.

F Tier is reserved for my least favorite letter, V. What the fuck is that. It's by far the most precarious looking of the letters, you'd never be able to stand that thing up. The sound is so weird, it's just F but worse in every way. It looks like shit, it doesn't have the weirdness appeal that W, X, Y, and Z have, and it doesn't do anything well. With other high tier letters I can look past faults in favor of their positive aspects, but with V there are only faults. The only praise I can give it is simple design, but even that comes with an asterisk in that it's really awkward to write quickly, you have to make it a point otherwise it looks like a U.

Solid set of letters we have. Except V. Imagine that there is a gap between E and F tier. The worst of the E tier letters far surpasses V in my opinion.

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

hello anon here!

i was wondering if you could find the vod where sapnap asks tommy if dream does care about him. it was after dream yelled at tommy when tommy tried to use spirit against him. ive been looking for it and i dont know where it is.

also another one is where tubbo and wilbur lock tommy in a piston thing after tommy keeps messing with wilburs diamonds and tubbo says "now he cant breathe" have a good day!!

That would be December 3rd! The piston vod is here Now, December 3rd was one of those days where each stream sort of built on the previous ones chronologically.

(I hope you don’t mind me dumping all of this in the answer to your ask because this is one of those lore days I really like talking about lol)

It starts out on Tommy's Stream:

---

Sapnap: “Tommy, I actually have a question. So, um, what was it, yesterday? Or, yeah – when Dream was uh, getting real mad at you, he said he didn’t – he said he didn’t care about anything. But, I mean surely he cares about me, right? You think?” Tommy: “…” Sapnap: “Right, Tommy? Surely he does, right?” Tommy: “He cares about George, if that makes you feel any better.” Sapnap: “Well no-no-no-yeah yeah yeah but surely he cares about me as well, right? ‘Cause like, we’re like, friends, you know? Like best friends, you know, like, I think he – he definitely cares about me, right?” Tommy: “…Yes.” Sapnap: “You can – Tommy, you don’t have to – you can give it to me straight, I’m tough—” Tommy: “—He doesn’t care about you. You’re just one of his many bitches.” Sapnap: “Oh…Well that – that – that’s okay, right? Like, I mean, that’s fine.” Tommy: “Well, it’s very sad.” Sapnap: “That – that – that’s fine by me…it’s okay, that’s fine, that’s fine. I mean I’m friends with Tommy, that – it’s okay.” Tommy: “Yeah, it’s alright Sapnap. I’ll…well, I probably won’t be a shoulder to cry on, but I’ll certainly be – I’ll be around. Unless I get exiled, in which case I won’t be around.” Sapnap: “Oh, well, do you think I can visit you? Wherever you get exiled to?” Tommy: “Maybe. Send me a Christmas card.”

---

Then, an hour or two later, this is continued on George's stream:

---

Sapnap: “You know, I mean, I thought I was, you know, we were all like, you know, a band of brothers from Mexican L’manburg and you keep excluding me and I—” George: “You weren’t here!” Sapnap: “—I’m not having that, I’M NOT HAVING THAT! OKAY?” George: “You weren’t here!” Sapnap: “I don’t know – I don’t know if you heard, George, but Dream doesn’t care about us.” George: “What – what did the – what did the sign say?” Quackity: (in the background) “Oh! Oh my god!” Sapnap: “He said that. He said – no, George, I need to tell you something. Come here, come here. Come here. Look at me in my eyes.” George: “What? What?” Sapnap: “Dream said – I’m pissed, because Dream said he only cared – he doesn’t care about anything on this server, so that means he doesn’t care about us.” George: (Taking a sip of water out of his cup with a straw) Sapnap: “Remember? He said that, dude. He doesn’t care about us, George, we’re on our own.” George: (Spits out water with a deadpan expression) Sapnap: “So you – you can’t just leave me behind, you gotta add me to these things. Because – ‘cause you’re all I got! And Quackity. Mexican L’manburg is all I have.” Quackity: “That’s true, that’s true, that’s why you gotta work on Mexican L’manburg, Sapnap, but don’t worry. This house right here? (whispering) It’s to piss off Tommy. That’s right. We’re building two houses in front of Tommy’s houses, one here another one over there. It’s crazy. It’s crazy.” George: “That is – wait, he said that?” Sapnap: “Yeah, George, yeah he did. He said he doesn’t care about anything on this server, all he cares about chaos and he – you know, George? I just – I don’t know, George. I just don’t.” George: “That’s messed up.” Quackity: “We gotta band together, boys.” Sapnap: “We gotta stick together, boys. It’s us three versus the world. And maybe Karl if he joins Mexican L’manburg, but it’s – it’s us. It’s us against the world, okay? And we can take ‘em all on.”

(Later on, while George and Quackity are making item frames, Technoblade hunts down and almost kills George)

---

And finally, the day ended on Quackity's stream with the confrontation.

---

George: "Why do you think I shouldn't be king anymore?" Dream: “I think that you would be safer if you were not, right?” George: “Wh – well why are people trying to kill me just ‘cause I’m king? Why is that?” Dream: “Well…because…well Technoblade doesn’t like government, and then, everyone else just hates me? And therefore, they don’t like you.” Bad: (nods politely in the background) Dream: “But – but Eret, like, because Eret also kind of, you know, right now, he’s not on the best odds with me, then he’s kinda perfect ‘cause they’re not gonna attack him ‘cause it wouldn’t really matter much to me.” George: “Mm…interesting.” Quackity: “I’m just a bystander, I’m just passing by.” George: “This is an interesting um…interesting meme here. Mm. So Dream doesn’t want me to be king anymore.” Dream: “That’s your blessing, right? That’s your blessing saying you’re fine with it and it’s great.” George: “Sapnap. Are you hearing this?” Dream: “Wait what? Sapnap’s here?” Sapnap: “I heard you say some select things…just give me – George, just hold out for me. I’m coming. Just, I’m coming.” George: “What did you just say?” Dream: “Oh, oh. He said ‘hold it out for me?’” Sapnap: “No! I said hold out for me! I’m coming! I didn’t—” George: “Okay, Sapnap.” Dream: “This was meant to be – this was meant to be a quick thing!” Quackity: “What the hell is going on? What is going on?” George: (stands on a crafting table) Sapnap: “No no no, I do not – I do not – I don’t care what it’s meant to be! I have to ask you something.” Dream: “Listen, then we can have the conversation another time. I just thought it was a good time to ask—” Quackity and Sapnap: (crosstalk) “No, this is a perfect time to ask!” … (Sapnap arrives) … Sapnap: “Dream, you can’t run away and escape this. Like you always do.” Dream: “Run away and escape what?” Bad: “Wait, Sapnap, what did you say you were pulling out?” Sapnap: “George and I know – the only thing I’m pulling out is deez nuts on your face.” Quackity: “LET’S GOOOO!” Bad: “Language!” Quackity: “Let’s go! Gottem! Gottem!” Sapnap: “George, Dream, where are you – George, do you remember what Dream said?” George: “When?” Sapnap: “To Tommy a few days ago?” George: “No? What?” Dream: “That’s a very specific thing – Sapnap, you weren’t even involved in this, Sapnap! It was Tommy—” Sapnap: “No, no, it doesn’t matter if I was involved in it.” George: “Why are you guys fighting?” Sapnap: “Why does he—” Dream: “No, we’re not fighting, we’re just—” Quackity: “The girls are fighting.” Sapnap: “Dream – look, I’ll – I’ll refresh your memory, Dream.” Dream: “Sapnap…” Sapnap: “Dream. Dre.” George: “He’s just disgusted, do you hear that? He’s absolutely disgusted.” Sapnap: “It’s just, it’s just like – George, Dream said he didn’t care about anything on this SMP which – that just means he doesn’t care about us.” Dream: “Okay, well obviously I was – okay, I wasn’t – I wasn’t – I didn’t actually mean I didn’t care about anything.” George: “Why did you say it then?” Dream: “Well listen, well listen, the reason I’m even saying George should step down as king is because I care about him.” Sapnap: “Now you’re saying George should step down as king?” Dream: “Well yeah, because he’s been getting attacked and I care about him and I don’t want him to get attacked.” Eret: “Hello, gentlemen.” Sapnap: “George, he wants you to step down as king. George, don’t – don’t – you don’t have to do anything he says.” Dream: “Well listen – okay, Sapnap, he does, first of all, but second of all – second of all, it’s – I – I was asking ‘cause I said it’d be nice. I mean you know obviously, George understands, George is better, but—” Sapnap: “Do you understand, George?” Dream: “Sapnap. Stop. Why are you like, trying to divide us?” Eret: “I’m very confused what I’ve walked into.” Sapnap: “Me? Me divide us?” Dream: “Yes!” Sapnap: “ME divide us?” Dream: “Come to Tommy’s house, Eret.” Eret: “I’m pretty much there.”

(And the confrontation continues for the rest of the stream after that as Eret arrives and they keep arguing, Dream and Quackity have their long debate on top of Mexican L'manburg, etc.)

So Sapnap is kind of the important link behind the chain of events here!

Tommy tells Sapnap, Sapnap tells George and Quackity, and the argument picks up when Sapnap arrives during George and Dream’s conversation. It’s an interesting instance in the story of information spreading through word of mouth.

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Finals

Propaganda

Glenn Close (Dungeons & Daddies):

#Propaganda for Glenn Close: one of the other PCs mentions multiple times how hot he is #Actually several characters point it out but especially Henry #Also the only person in a podcast that has to put a disclaimer about not being a BDSM podcast to have had sex during the course of the show

Young hot rocker dilf

Loyal to his dead wife <3

Does in fact smoke weed

BARD!! HES A BARD. HE WAS LEAD GUITAR IN HIS BAND (that he was kicked out of)

His band was a Christmas cover band btw.

Literally the fandom had hot Glenn summer which consisted of drawing him being incredibly hot and sexy

Anti government (ofc)

Kind of cringefail (Disney adult) (was on dilfs of disneyland)

Young and sexy not your style? Then how about HIM AFTER YEARS LOCKED IN A TIME PRISON WITH A DAMN HANNIBAL MASK ??

Lost an eye and wears a fucking eyepatch

One incredibly buff arm

Has a pet rat named after his son <3

Immeasurable amounts of trauma in this man- becomes progressively more unhinged

OH OLD HUMAN BARD ISNT CUTTING IT? FINE

HE BECOMES A FUCKING DEMON

A COOL HOT ONE-EYED DEMON WHO WANTS TO KILL HIS DAD (also sexy)

HE CANONICALLY ENDS CHRISTIAN HELL VIA CHRISTMAS

IS ALSO WAY OVERLEVELED

Becomes a demon hunter for the rest of his existence

Also nonwhite !!! We are done with cringefail whiteboys !!!!!!!!!

I can’t put into words ok just know he is the best plz love him.

Okay but Glenn made a minivan cum by talking to her so

HE HAS A BOOK THAT HE MARKS X’S AND CHECKS FOR EVERY DAY TO SEE IF THAT DAY WAS A SUCCESS OR NOT. TO SEE IF HE DID GOOD THAT DAY. ITS ALMOST ENTIRELY X’S. HE WAS CUCKED OUT OF A SON. AND A DEAD WIFE. HE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO KILL HIS DAD IN REVENGE. There’s absolutely nothing going for him except his sex appeal in his life. Nobody he loved remembers him. He lost his eye. All he has is a pet rat and friends who admit they don’t really like him that much. He was kicked out of his own band. The band was named after him. He was kicked out of the Glenn Close trio. All he could do was deez nuts the big bad and be sexy. If nothing else, then pity him. Look in his eyes. Look at his heart and soul. He did not do the BDSM episode for this I’ll tell you what. Do this for my his sake. Do it for Nick Jr, who needs the prize money to pay for his rat snacks. Do it for his son. For Morgan. Ganbatte.

Glenn is the goofiest sexiest character there is and I will die on this hill! I will ride into battle for him! what Dndads created is truly unique and Glenn is a key part of that and for that he deserves to win. I said it before and I'll say it again - GLENN SWEEEEEP

Can we talk about how he says ‘baby’ casually? Like he just calls people that?? That’s HOT. THAT IS HOT!! He’s also bilingual and knows Japanese!!!! He’s a big dumb idiot with a lot of charisma!!!!!! HE WORKED AT A BDSM PLACE FOR TWO SEPARATE ONE SHOTS. HES SO SAD BUT PLAYS IT OFF LIKE HE’S CHILL ALL THE TIME!! HE DOESN’T THINK OF HIMSELF AS SINGLE BECAUSE HE DIDN’T DIVORCE HIS DEAD WIFE!!! He’s like.. the perfect guy. We need this win.

I’d also like to add the fact I made this. Which is the first 11 episodes edited to (almost) only have Glenn in them <3 which is a level of insanity I hope to reiterate. These took hours to make. I wouldn’t do that for anyone else.

vote Glenn I am asking with the biggest saddest eyes possible 🥺🥺🥺 he is so sexy it's pathetic and also so pathetic it's sexy, no I can not possibly adequately elaborate just trust me

Mod Note: While I will still take "bad dads are sexy" propaganda and "bad dads aren't sexy" anti-propaganda, I kindly request no more discussion on whether or not he was a bad father. This is a sexypoll, not a parentingpoll. If you see a post you strongly disagree with, you can just not reblog it.

Mod Note 2: This tournament is about fictional podcast characters. Please do not vote for the real actress Glenn Close.

Gable (Campaign: Skyjacks):

7ft tall silver-haired thembo of a fallen angel. was the literal sword of god until they killed him! reasons slightly unclear but probably sure to forbidden queer love! super caring for their friends. has one friend they have known for hundreds of years who they HATE but are bound to by the red string of fate. their sword is a part of them, they can sheathe it into a tattoo. they start out indistinct at the edges but as they have continued on through the campaign they have become more and more distinct. they became a flaming engine of justice to kill their friends shitheaded older brother who was following him. they have learned enough necromancy to allow other fallen angels to die, even though they typically cannot. they fly giant birds in to battle.

7ft tall beefcake wielding a sword as tall as they are. vengeful sweetheart

Imagine now: a fallen angel with beautiful gray hair and very big muscles. Now imagine them with a 9 ft sword. Now imagine them as a helmsperson of a pirate ship in a flowy deep-v pirate shirt. Now imagine they're dumb as a fucking rock. And finally, imagine that they killed god. Here, you have made Gable Skyjacks: sexiest podcast character of all time.

7ft tall nonbinary/genderfluid thembo fallen angel sky pirate who wields a buster sword. silvergrey hair with black/gold streaks as they regain feathers/memories of before their fall. back is covered in tattoos that hide the scars of their shredded off wings. killed God. toxic exes with lucifer. they are the keeper of several giant war birds who occasionally crave human flesh. they enjoy getting rowdy/smoking rope with their boys. they collect rocks that they think are neat. When anyone admits they are attracted to them, Gable trips over their words and absolutely swaglessly ends up sounding stupider and sexier by the end of the conversation; the will they/won't they and teasing they dish out to these (un?)lucky few is palpable. Sometimes the buster sword is on fire. They are immortal, they are cringe, they are trying to atone because they believe they are the reason the world is ruined.

Okay so aside from all of the above (giant with a matching giant flaming sword, killed god, extreme dumbass), here's some more propaganda for Gable the Godkiller.

They've escaped death multiple times with their partner in... crime? Like literally they were about to be executed in the most brutal way possible and just. Escaped and killed all their captors in the snowy wastelands.

They are the helmsperson of the Uhuru and take this job very seriously and definitely haven't left it to Bowser (you know, like from Mario) multiple times. Can steer that flying ship in horrible weather and still make it to port safely.

Healed an entire fucking hospital by cutting their hair for someone they had the hots for who was also in the hospital. Imagine being on that level of myth making in some random port city because of a hair cut.

Giant bird caretaker and also took the giant birds out on their friend's bachelor party (this was like. his Xth polyamorous marriage at this point btw) and had a fucking blast getting high on some rope and fucking around. They've also flown these birds into combat and looked cool as hell doing it (see: killing their friend's shithead of an older brother in a joust).

Had a relationship with Lucifer the Morning Star before they fell as an angel and killed God. Literally the reason the stars fell was their love for each other. The world would not look the same without Gable and they are, at the very least indirectly responsible for the creation of the Church of the Slain God and everything it represents (fantasy Catholicism).

And also yeah they are regularly tripping over themself and saying very silly things. 10/10 character we love Liz Anderson and Gable in this house

I am seeing people say that this Nicky fellow is basically trans! That's very cool! Gable is actually trans. Pronouns they/them/any presentation whatever they feel like.

Gable held a bachelor party for a BFF where the attendees hunted from their sky birds, wore dresses, and still managed to keep their eyeliner on point!

Gable killed God because he wouldn't let them be queer. They should rightfully crush anyone in their path.

We are finally going up against a character I know. I can confidently say all sexy moments with Gable are much sexier than TAZ's largely off-screen romances. Mod Note: This was written during the poll versus Killian Fangbattle.

But seriously. Listen to Gable's most recent introduction. Unparalleled sexy thembo introduction! Context: The Captain's Council is at a magical tattoo/piercing parlor (which has a lengthy form and disclosure process), trying to stay below the radar, and the Captain and Jonnit are pretending to be father/son to keep up the ruse. And to let Jonnit get a tattoo, since he's technically sort of underage. Bonus: Gable's decision at the tattoo/piercing parlor and noping out of Orimar and Jonnit's acting. (You should check out the full episode! Episode 197 starts a new arc and a good point to step into the series!)

Nicky Close (Dungeons & Daddies):

One armed half-demon man with a sword (also a Dedicated, Involved, Loving Father). (Specifically campaign 2, where he is an adult)

Transmasc bisexual (or at least so widely accepted as such it's basically canon) dilf half-demon let's start with the basics

And by half-demon I mean the literal prince of Hell

But also simultaneously is Saint Nicolas get you a man who can do both specifically this man

Missing an arm cause his ex-friends tragically betrayed him and shot it off but he doesn't need two arms to show you a good time wink wink ;)

The betrayal in question forced him to be seperated from his also hot milf voice actress wife and their son which is sad but in like a way that makes him sexier

Uses his one hand to wield a flaming katana that he used to rescue his son from the FBI

Protects his family with his life very literally which is hot as hell

Big himbo energy couldn't come up with a good plan if he used 100% of his brain

When he does fail at things it's pretty cute honestly

Definitely played a variety of musical instruments before the whole arm thing happened! Maybe he still does idk he's a sexy mystery

2 in 1 deal! This man was born from the merging of two timelines! Kinda sick!!! Also two dads = twice the daddy issues

You'd think the whole being forcibly split from his family thing would mean he isn't very close with his son but nope! His son adores him! They get along great!!!

His mom is simultaneously alive and dead

His mom bagged fucking two different dudes (one of whom FOUND HER DEAD in a different timeline, both of which are demons)

HIS MOMS NAME IS MORGAN FREEMAN, HIS DAD’S NAME IS GLENN CLOSE, AND HIS OTHER DAD’S NAME IS JODIE FOSTER, AND HIS GREAT SOMETHING GRANDFATHER’S NAME IS MERYL STREEP

HIS SONS NAME IS TAYLOR SWIFT

Lifelong pot smoker 👍 (plus drug flower user!!)

CANONICALLY BOTH A POLO WEARER (and yes, has all the stereotypes of that attached with it — a nerd, which is hot) AND A LEATHER JACKET WEARER (which also has all the stereotypes attached with it — a rebel dude person, which is also hot) [<- all widely accepted as canon by the fandom even as he’s older]

A part of the SECOND BIGGEST ship of season two, (Nark) despite the two characters only having one-two canon interactions (one of which JUST happened last episode)

Man’s a himbo what’s hotter than that

So many fucking names. You try to tag him in anything and he takes up half the space. That’s probably hot. For someone out there

This was already mentioned but so very very trans. Like. It’s basically canon

Rock and roll(er)

Joined a group of thieves called the watermice when he was like 13

for a few minutes had a guitar called the Battle Axe of Hatred

definitely had an frienimies with benefits relationship with his childhood friend Lark (sorry ppl that don’t ship nark lol) (it’s canon after ep 44 hah)

Nicky also acts like his sons Pokémon! Taylor tells his dad to do things, and Nicky does it without thinking about anything else he could do!

I feel like the audio of the entire Nick-breaking-into-the-FBI scene should be propaganda, but I'm copying select bits from the transcript:

Anthony: Yeah, it kind of echoes up through the vent, like the beginning of Metal Gear Solid. You hear a voice that strikes you as ever so slightly familiar, Taylor. Saying—  ??: [a deep voice] [echoing in the vent] Where is he?  Anthony: You hear—  Will: Uh-oh, he’s hot.  Anthony: —a bunch of shouting voices.  [giggles]  Beth: Uh-oh! Anthony: You hear a bunch of shouting voices and people shouting for him to get down on the ground to turn off his flame. To fucking get his hands behind his back. You hear this rhythmic stepping forward— because his footsteps don't sound like anybody else's because it's almost like… y’know when you toss a little bit of water onto a really hot pan and it just sizzles like that? It's like every footstep he's taking, you can hear that— Freddie: Cool  Anthony: — and you can feel some of that heat coming up in this vent, even though you can't see him at this point. And he goes—  ??: [echoing] Where. Is. My. Boy? Anthony: You hear the FBI agent—the FBI in quotation marks agent—in the back going like—  Agent: [echoing] He's safe for now. If you want to go ahead and make sure that he stays that way, you feel free to go ahead and step inside the suite that we've prepared for you, my boy. Anthony: And you hear the hot guy voice saying—  [chuckles]  The Hot Guy: [echoing] I don't think that's going to happen.

...

[a powerful rush of air builds] Anthony: You hear—  [gunfire, and the air rush culminates in a burst of flame; from underneath the fire, metal music starts playing] Anthony: —plumes of flame exploding.  [a person’s pained shout, gunfire and bursts of flame continue]  Anthony: You can feel the heat radiating through this metal vent and it's actually beginning to hurt and burn your hands.

...

Anthony: And you hear blood—  [sizzling]  Anthony: —hitting the fucking ground and you hear sizzling and things boiling and burning. Taylor: That could just be coffee! That could just be coffee. Link, let's go. Anthony: And you are getting closer and closer to the elevator. And you hear that same hot voice say—  The Hot Guy: [echoing] Where the hell is Taylor?

Gable and Nicky Together:

We are on a joint ticket now! This is a truly unbeatable combo. Not even god can nerf it because Gable killed him. Vote for us. Nicky Close will watch your stuff and play with your cats while Gable gives you the night of your life.

Gable and Nicky can literally be yuor angle or ur bevil.

Art of Gable and Nicky from @slightlyhopefulromantic.

[druggedchicken]

im going to talk a little bit about how i used Ne-Ti as a kid and why i shouldve known i was an entp a long time ago

as a 9 year old, i had A BUNCH of tiny projects going on and every single one of them was cringe as fvck and literally everyone hated them but never really said anything about it because i was a kid (i could tell they didnt like them but i also knew they were "stupid and closed minded")

best example is that i would bother my elementary school teacher every day about new things we could add to our classroom/ classes so everyday things would be easier and more fun to do, surprisingly every brilliant idea of mine was tossed under the rug with a "thats a great idea eve ill think about it!"

when i was about 9-10, even tho i had a pretty good amount of toys and dolls to play with i got bored of them so i started making paper dolls, which were literally so stupid now that i think about it but i made each of them a paper backpack (it could open and close), notebook (with some writing in it obvi), pen (i was disappointed once i figued that the insane amount of ink i put on the tip wouldnt actually write stuff, so crazy ik), different clothes they could change (they had little hooks and i would hook them on their shoulders, waist, est..),

god i just remembered this but i would give them all different powers like they were winx but like my version ofc, and they all had a couple special attacks and they all had different names and what they do and stuff, mind you these were literally just paper but i cried when i had to throw them out when we moved out

the most recent example is still funny to me, it happened couple months ago. i made a playlist for my american enfp bestfriend and i named it ovi orasi (meaning deez nuts in my mother language) and in the description i wrote "hi bestie check the meaning of the name on google translate i love you i hope you like it♡" and i cant believe he actually deadass didnt think anything about it is suspicious and just did it and was like "eve i cant fucking believe you"

and the one im genuinely ashamed of, when one of my instagram mutuals posted spoilers for fruits basket on her story (it was before i watched it so i got so pissed). i was thinking of a way to pay her back and i saw she was reading tokyo revengers so i wanted to post spoilers for it on my story but i didnt want everyone to see it, so what i did was hide story from absolutely everyone except for her and thats when i posted HUGE spoilers and she actually saw the story and honestly i think she unfollowed me after that

[winterswing]

DEEZ NUTS

A Steve Rogers x f!Y/N Social Media AU

Deez nut jokes are funny until you became the victim. In which your thesis groupmate, Steve Rogers randomly private messaged you just to make you a victim of this crazy trend.

Warnings: Mentions of inappropriate jokes, and sexual innuendos. If you are a minor, DNI.

Genre: Crack Romance

Notes: Hey guys! This prompt randomly came to mind because deez nuts jokes are suddenly trending again 😭 I'll put the updates under the #Deez Nuts tag so you can avoid them if you aren't comfortable about it.

Main Masterlist: If you want to see more of my works!

Taglist: If you want to be tagged on future updates, just send an ask, or send me a message about it! You can also reply on this post!

Series Masterlist

Chapters marked with ⍟ include narrations.

Twitter Profiles — coming soon

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

May add more chapters

[vins-oc-hell]

OC-tober Day 15: Stitch

OC: Edwina

Context: She's in college in Misty Run and Not having a good time.

Content warnings: Uhhhh, bad wound care, drunkenness, reckless treatment of pets, excessive swearing. So, y'know. The usual with Edwina.

Sploop. Sploop. I wonder if I’ll get marks off for this, Edwina thought dully as she watched a crimson stain spread across the parchment of her political history essay.

“Come get your dinner, Lolth,” she grumbled, scooping up the tarantula she had found in the showers a few weeks ago and depositing it near the pool of blood. The spider clicked at her and scuttled away, leaving little red smudgy footprints behind. Her bibliography was almost illegible by this point. Time to patch herself up.

Edwina cringed when she looked in the mirror. Ok. Well. That jagged cut on her forehead probably looked worse than it was; head wounds usually bled a lot. It probably needed stitches. Which wouldn’t have been a big deal, except that one of her eyes was fucking bruised and swollen mostly shut.

Ugh. The halfling cracked her knuckles, popping a few joints back into place. She gave Hoppy McScrungus the toilet toad a scritch on her way to the sink, and then scrubbed her hands clean. Yeah, maybe she didn’t like showers, but Edwina wasn’t stupid.

The first stitch always hurt the most. Should’ve had more alcohol, she thought bitterly. I can barely feel the rest of my body; why should this one part be hurting?

Fuck, BT was gonna give her that ‘I’m-not-mad-I’m-just-disappointed’ look again in class tomorrow morning, wasn’t he? Well. Assuming she didn’t accidentally miss class, what with the whopper of a hangover she had coming on and all.

“I can only protect you so much, Edwina,” her advisor would say gravely, “they already want to take away your scholarship for all the trouble you’ve caused.”

“Fuck,” Edwina muttered emphatically, pulling the last stitch tight enough that the thread snapped before she could tie it off. The needle went flying across the room, where Karen the Manager, the crow with one wing, squawked and snatched it up to add to her hoard.

Edwina growled and ripped off her already-damaged shirt, tying it sloppily around her head wound.

“Fucking stay put!” Karen cawed at her angrily. “No, not you. My piece-of-shit bandage.”

With a long sigh, Edwina flopped down on her shitty bed and pulled Deez Nutz the parapeligic raccoon-squirrel-thing over to snuggle with her. Her essay was ruined, it was 3am, her head was still bleeding, and everything sucked.

This is all that stupid bitch Arrah’s fault. Edwina ground her teeth. If her ugly annoying face hadn’t shown up at the bar I wouldn’t have gotten in a fight. Deez Nuts nibbled on her eyebrow, looking for snacks.

“Yeah ok, thanks, buddy.” She forced the dwarf’s smug face out of her mind and fed a few peanuts she’d swiped from the bar to the raccoon-squirrel-thing. It was his contented munching that finally lulled her off to sleep.

[rosezhid]

Dating Tips And Quips

Shamefully i admit that i was interested in the display "the choose up artist". Essentially some guys who have desirable game train several nerdy, socially handicapped guys a way to choose up chicks. 

The show made me wonder that i absolutely do have a small arsenal of knowledge that helped me to get a whole lot of dates through the years. I stay in Newport seaside however I'm really now not the typical synthetic blonde, faux boogied, size 0, starving model that is local to the place.

 At the beginning look I recognize that I'm now not what most men are seeking out in orange county. Regardless, i have been capable of get dates with all varieties of appealing men through the years. So right here are a few tips for you (men and girls) that is probably useful (or might be demanding depending on how you operate them).

Tip #1- study a few tacky (however humorous) jokes! That is my thing-i always use it when i exit. It is a great way to open up verbal exchange with someone you first meet and to show others which you have a sense of humor. 

It is also a good way to find out if there may be any hobby as nicely... Due to the fact if someone is interested in you, they will typically maintain the communication going after your shaggy dog story. At the most, you will get a number of laughs and those will experience comfy and glad around you. At the least, you bomb after which ask someone in the event that they have a better shaggy dog story (because people like to be the center of attention).

 I always ask human beings to tell me their deez nuts jokes -commonly i method pronouncing "hello does each person have any desirable jokes that i can add to my collection?" i pay attention to theirs after which i inform my very own. *in case you are a guy- do now not inform grimy jokes to ladies (it's a turn off). We decide on cheesy to dirty.

A few of my favorite cheesy jokes:

Why does Snoop Dog carry an Umbrella? For Drizzle. Where do you find Virgin Wool? Ugly Sheep. Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him. Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor? A Pirate walks into a bar with the steering wheel of his ship in his pants. The bartender asks" why in the world do you have a steering wheel in your pants?" The pirate replies "Aaakarsh, it's driven me nuts!"

Tip #2: look your exceptional

That is a given, but I suppose a variety of human beings don't apprehend what their "quality" is. So be courageous and ask your pals to tell you what they think about your appearance (suck it up, it will be correct for you). I simply don't recognize why there are nevertheless guys walking round with comb-overs, thin denims, terrible breath and bad fashion experience. Move in advance-attempt new matters with your look to look what makes you appearance your fine!

A few ideas:

Men - grow your facial hair out or shave it off. Start operating out. Take a woman pal (or a guy buddy that has appropriate taste) with you purchasing if you want to enhance your dresser. 

In case you are losing your hair shave it off (bald is beautiful). Ladies - cut your hair or alternate the colour, try wearing clothes greater regularly (all men love attire), wear contacts as opposed to glasses (or vice versa), invest in some properly excellent make-up and learn how to use it to play up your satisfactory features.

Tip #3: learn to pay attention

me, me, me, me, me, me, me! This is all i listen to if I am compelled to take a seat throughout from a person and nod as he drones on about himself for greater than 15 minutes. Do not get me incorrect, i want to study other people, however a conversation entails two human beings talking-not simply one. I met a man on line as soon as and while we ultimately spoke on the telephone our verbal exchange lasted a touch over an hour.... 

And about 59 minutes of that conversation changed into simply of him speak me about himself. Useless to say that became the final time I ever spoke to him. It's actual-human beings love to talk approximately themselves! 

So, discover ways to be a terrific listener. Women especially love to speak and that they love with a purpose to ask them questions as it indicates that you are honestly inquisitive about who they're. 

So guys, speak much less, pay extra attention (oh and try to be funny whilst you do communicate). Women, the equal is going for you too.

[lensmcdonalds]

Mods can you speak other languages and when will you do ask games or face reveals

Mod A:I took three years of German in Highschool but I was shit at it and I probably have forgotten most of it by now.I am currently learning Japanese and plan to learn Czech in the future.I’m ok with ask games but I don’t wanna do a face reveal.

Mod D: I'm currently attempting to learn russian, as well as french via school (I plan on living in *gags* Quebec) ALSO sicilian which is hard bc I can't FIND A TEACHER

also I kinda want to learn Japanese, there's a new transfer student in my class and I wanna help her out if I can

I'm good with ask games but no face reveals lol, fun fact I have seen a specific characters genitals more than a majority of the mods faces :)

EDIT: IM ALSO LOOKING FOR MANDARIN CLASSES IN MY AREA SO THATS 👍 also mod E wanted me to "add deez nuts"

mod e : i tried to learn korean on duolingo for like a year and made barely any progress, i’d like to try again though and maybe learn russian as well. i absolutely love ask games but i am not comfortable with doing a face reveal (^w.^)

Mod B: I could probably hold basic conversations in both Japanese and Chinese. I want to become fluent in Japanese, but I would really like to pick up some dying languages that are significant to me.

Ask games are fun! But the most of my face you’re getting from me would probably be a self-portrait or a ridiculous close up of something like my eye.

mod f: I'm not fluent enough in any other language besides english to say that I can speak them. anyway I love ask games, but the closest I'll do to a face reveal is like a self portrait or something which isn't even close to a face reveal now that I think about it lol. it would be cool to learn latin though

mod g: i am learning french and asl!!! romance languages yk what im saying !!! ask games are a good idea i thjj k :3 i don’t like taking pictures of myself, i dont want to do a face revdal

Mod c: I can speak Gaeilge and I’m learning some French! Idrk what ask games are so haha- not rly down with face reveals.