#incorrect project wingman

[saturniandragon]

Prez: What did you have for dinner?

Monarch: Salad.

Monarch: That had grapes in it.

Prez: You had grapes for dinner.

Monarch: Yes.

Monarch: Actually I drank grapes.

Monarch: And they were fermented.

Prez:

Monarch: Wine. I had wine for dinner, Prez.

[randomnumbers751650]

Alhaitham: You're a slave to history. Even after calamity, you fight against the only order that can guarantee the safety of your people. You solely are responsible for this.

Kaveh: I just delayed the rent for one day, could you at least not eat my tachin in front of me?

[soup-mother]

I also think ppl try and evangelise the security and privacy aspects in a way that's totally detached from people's actual every day life and use case. it's like if you told everyone you know to use signal. any privacy benefit is absolutely minimal, we live in a surveillance state that is bigger than just text messages and the payoff to fiddliness is incredibly minimal.

"get Microsoft and Google out of your life" one of the most commonly asked questions is "can i use Microsoft word on linux?". the actual benefits of that security are genuinely relatively limited for the average person. it starts to sound like healthfood people a tiny bit.

windows works for the vast majority of people and i think dual booting being relatively common isn't like the evil influence of Microsoft or anything, it's kinda just how people prefer to use it. it's not like an "incorrect" usage of Linux, you're just seeing them as directly comparable which is not the case. "year of Linux on desktop" is a meme for a reason.

i am a Linux user, i like Linux (and BSD and openSolaris), but i don't rely on Photoshop, my gaming is limited to visual novels, touhou and rpgmaker games (and the bigger games i play either work fine or no at all. looking at you project wingman!). trying to sell someone an OS that is worse for the majority of their use cases and would require them to relearn everything on the basis of fucking privacy alone (that they will not see any real benefit from) is just silly.

the real benefit of using linux is women want to fuck you, you should lead with that.

[chopper-writing-stuff]

So quite a few people noticed this scene from Castlevania feels like an incorrect quote so let's treat it as one, shall we?

Blaze: Social anxiety? I've never heard of that affecting squadron leaders. Silent pilots aren't a common thing.

Prez: I've been told that aces have trouble talking.

Blaze: I've answered questions. I've given commands.

Gryphus 1: Commands aren't conversations, are they?

Talisman: Course they are.

Diplomat: How can giving orders be considered chatting? There's no room for answer.

Trigger: My wingmen order eachother around because I wouldn't feel right saying obvious stuff.

Blaze: I think I would probably notice myself being silent.

Mobius 1: Really? Do you notice your allies can't hear the enemy radio? Of course you don't. It's a thing you learn. It's not like we're told about our oddities.

Monarch: !!!

[steampunk483]

Crimson 1: Oh? You're approaching me?

Prez: can't drop an unguided bomb on you if you're all the way over there.

Monarch: *nods silently in agreement*

Crimson 1, thinking there's no way they can actually hit: Well then, come as close as you'd like!

Crimson 1's plane: *exploding noises*

[saturniandragon]

Crimson: I wonder what wretched act my enemy is planning next.

Monarch, in a drivethrough: can i have uhhhh a fuckimgn beesechurger

[saturniandragon]

Monarch: Basic manners. Let's try this again. Here's your coffee, Crimson. Now what do you say in return?

Crimson: Fuck you?

Monarch: No.

[saturniandragon]

Comic: Why is there a chocolate bar in the oven?? You could've burned down the entire base.

Diplomat: You asked for hot chocolate!

Comic: Dip, I swear to--

[saturniandragon]

hi, i'm in my project wingman hyperfixation and i found your incorrect quotes, more specifically the coffee one with monarch and crimson

then i saw the comment on it and it got my brain thinking

thank you for being most of the content i funnel into my brain

Hi! I'm glad you enjoyed my project wingman scheissepostings. I noticed there weren't many of them in tumblr so I decided to make some myself

Hope you enjoyed my shenanigans :)

[saturniandragon]

Crimson at Monarch: Bullying you isn't enough I need to throw tomatoes at you like you're a medieval criminal

[saturniandragon]

This blog used to be an incorrect skyrim quotes blog 5 years ago, now it's become a fuckville of skyrim, eso, formula 1, ace combat, project wingman, and me bisexualing maliciously

[chopper-writing-stuff]

Monty: Hall

Trigger: Húxiān, Jaeger, settle a little tiff that Count and I are having.

Count: Let’s be honest, Trigger, it’s not a tiff, it’s a row.

Trigger: And now it’s a scene.

Jaeger: It’s okay, Captain, we don’t want to get involved in your personal life.

Trigger: It’s not personal, it’s a game tactic.

Jaeger: Ah-huh…

Húxiān: Pass.

Count: Trigger and I had dinner together last night for the first time in two weeks, thanks to the new Free Erusea uprising.

Trigger: and Count thought it would be fun to spoil our date with an inane loadout choice to which his answer is wrong.

Jaeger: Enough foreplay, let’s get to the action.

Trigger: It’s the “Land Battleship fight dilemma”. Imagine you’re on a ground attack mission. There are both ground and air targets-

Count: You’re telling it wrong. There are both ground and air targets. You get rid of them. The base personnel boards two land battleships. You can destroy them by doing multiple passes and stripping them of their defenses or one-shot them with special weapons, available to only a few planes and taking up space for other special weapons. Should you do the mission with Anti-Ship Missiles? No.

Trigger: Yes!

Count: It’s simple reasoning.

Trigger: It doesn’t make sense to go with anything else. Land battleships take ages to sink, you equip ASMs and it’s over in seconds.

Count: That section is quicker, but you don’t have the optimal loadout for the first one. It goes faster if you invest in multi-lock air to ground missiles plus something for the air. We’ve been over this eight times.

Trigger: Seven times. Now you can’t even do simple addition.

Jaeger: Count is right.

Trigger: You’re fired.

Jaeger: What!?

Húxiān: Ha!

Jaeger: Good evening, captain.

Trigger: No, it’s not. I haven’t slept, because I’ve been going over that stupid problem. Now I finally understand Count’s side.

Húxiān: Cool, so it’s all better and I never have to hear about land battleships ever again?

Trigger: Quite the opposite. I know better than ever how incorrect he is.

/yesterday/

Trigger: It’s not slower if you pick Chimera.

Count: Do I have to teach you how to use UGBS?

Trigger: I don’t know, do I have to teach you how to use STDM?

Count: Do I have to teach you how to use URMB?

Trigger: Do I have to teach you how to use GUN?

/now/

Trigger: Now, if you excuse me, pilots, I need to leave him a snide voicemail about turning on the game.

Húxiān: Okay, we have to explain this thing to Trigger to save their relationship.

Jaeger: And you laughed at me when I took a day off to play flight games with my son.

Húxiān: ‘Cause you said you were going to play HAWX.

Jaeger: That’s what we played! It was cool.

Húxiān: It was not. Anyway, it’s not about the loadout. They haven’t had time for themselves because of the uprising. They just need to bone.

Jaeger: What? Gross! Húxiān, those are our idols!

Jaeger: I mean… That’s not what I think. Captain Idol is just my boss.

Húxiān: Wow.

Trigger: Is everything okay, Jaeger?

Jaeger: Nevermind. I’m teaching my hero Project: Wingman!

Jaeger: No, I lost my ring.

Trigger: Did you see where it went?

Jaeger: Actually… It's guarded by these model land battleships. Why don’t you pick a fighter to tackle them?

Trigger: Are you trying to Project: Wingman me? It’s unbelievable. I don’t need Project: Wingman ruining my place of work when Project: Wingman has already ruined my home life.

Húxiān: Come on, Trigger, the game isn’t the problem. The uprising is keeping you and Count apart. You two just need to bone.

Trigger: What did you say?

Jaeger: Don’t say it again.

Húxiān: I said you two need to bone.

Trigger: How… dare you, Strider Four, I am your Superior OFFICER!

/5 minutes later/

Trigger: Bone!

/20 minutes later/

Trigger: What happens in my bedroom, Lieutenant, is none of your business.

/40 minutes later/

Trigger: BONE!?

/1 hour later/

Trigger: Don’t ever speak to me like that again.

Jaeger: Why did you do that?

Jaeger: Oh, Trigger, I know you don’t want to talk about Project: Wingman, but I did contact a developer-

Húxiān: Dude was pent up. Now he knows. Problem solved.

Trigger: No need, Jaeger. It’s all good.

Húxiān: So the fight with Count is over?

Trigger: Yep.

Jaeger: Because you understand the game now?

Trigger: Nope.

Húxiān: Because you guys-

Trigger: Yep!

[chopper-writing-stuff]

I’m at cordium

Federation HQ in Presidia: Hello? Crimson 1: Hey, what's up? HQ: We're getting our asses kicked! Can you come here? C1: Uh, I can't. I'm buying missiles. HQ: Aight, well hurry up and come over here. C1: I can't find them. HQ: What do you mean you can't find them? C1: I can't find them. There's only cordium. HQ: What do you mean "there's only cordium"? C1: It means there's only cordium. HQ: Well then GET OUT OF THE CORDIUM AISLE! C1: Alright, you don’t have to shout at me! C1: There’s more cordium! HQ: What do you mean “there’s more cordium”?! C1: There’s just more cordium! HQ: Go to the next aisle! C1: There’s still cordium! HQ: Where are you right now?! C1: I’m at cordium! HQ: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE “AT CORDIUM”!? C1: I MEAN I’M AT CORDIUM HQ: WHAT STORAGE ARE YOU IN?! C1: I’M AT THE CORDIUM STORAGE HQ: WHY ARE YOU BUYING MISSILES AT THE CORDIUM STORAGE?! C1: FUCK YOU!!

[paprus-teutonic-knight]

mission 11.5

Crimson: I wonder what wretched act my enemy is planning next.

Monarch, in a drivethrough: can i have uhhhh a fuckimgn beesechurger

[paprus-teutonic-knight]

mission 22

Monarch: Basic manners. Let's try this again. Here's your coffee, Crimson. Now what do you say in return?

Crimson: Fuck you?

Monarch: No.

[paprus-teutonic-knight]

REAL

Comic: Why is there a chocolate bar in the oven?? You could've burned down the entire base.

Diplomat: You asked for hot chocolate!

Comic: Dip, I swear to--