thinking about how jude duarte literally played "kiss, marry, kill" with cardan's friendgroup
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madoc played fuck marry kill with eva alone.
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Cardan: the gender-neutral term for "sugar daddy" is glucose guardian.
Jude: What, and I cannot express this enough, the fuck?
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Jude: i hate you
Cardan: *in his head* enemies to lovers, slow burn, angst with happy ending, 300k+ words
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Jude: And thus, by slowly taking larger and larger amounts of these small doses, our bodies will become used to the poisons, eventually making us immune to even lethal amounts.
Cardan: I thought we were just doing drugs together.
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Cardan: I love my scary wife privileges, it makes life so easy
*Jude threatens someone with a sword*
Cardan: Isn't she beautiful?
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jude: *preparing their kid for school* mommy’s gonna dropkick anyone that touches you.
cardan: and daddy’s going to bail mommy out of jail.
just the thought of them having a baby (holly hinted) makes me GIGGLE AND KICK MY FEET
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the Bomb: I can't believe you and Jude broke the bed last night.
the Roach: Yeah, what were you even doing?
Cardan: um....
*last night*
Jude: Bet you can't jump high enough to touch the ceiling.
Cardan: Try me
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Cardan: Jude:
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cardan: *knocks on the door* are you decent?
jude: not morally, but i'm wearing pants, if that's what you're asking
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jude, drunk: don't tell cardan, but i have a crush on him.
cardan, grinning: i definitely won't.
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Taryn: Put yourself in my shoes.
Cardan: I would never wear those.
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DRESSES FOR JUDE DUARTE: GREEN EDITION
@cromulentreader
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Some faerie: is she- covered in blood?
Cardan: yes. It really brings out her eyes don’t you think?
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