All I Need | Renjun Imagine #6
Title: All I Need
Genre: Fluff, kinda angsty
Warnings: mentions of mental health, vague mentions of anxiety, a little suggestive, making out
Word Count: 531
Author's Note: This was a request from an anon, and technically my request box is closed. However, I thought the idea they gave was cute and thought it wouldn't hurt to write a little something for Renjun. I feel like I don't write enough stories where the reader is comforting the member, rather than vice versa. And I know Renjun won't see this (thank God), but I truly believe he deserves the world and I sincerely hope he's getting the rest he needs for his physical and mental health. I hope those who are also struggling are taking care of themselves too. Thank you for reading ^ ^
P.S. I have quite a few things I'm working on writing-wise so please look forward to my future works!
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When you noticed Renjunâs declining mental health and encouraged him to take a break, you didnât think heâd actually listen to your advice. You were aware of the concerns and disheartenment that came after the companyâs announcement about him not participating in upcoming activities. Despite your boyfriendâs evident disappointment over not performing with his members, you were grateful for his decision to prioritize his well-being.
Shortly after the announcement was made, you headed over to his dorm in hopes of lifting his spirits. When a physically and emotionally exhausted Renjun opened the door to you holding a Moomin plushie and a grocery bag of ingredients for hot pot, he never felt more loved. Not a second was wasted before he was pulling you into a tight embrace.
âThank you for being here with me,â he murmured, prompting a small smile to grace your lips.
Returning his hug, you rested your chin on his shoulder. âWhy wouldnât I be?â
For the first time in a while, the two of you enjoyed a quiet evening where you ate good food and caught up on your lives. After dinner, Renjun pulled you into his room for some much-needed cuddles. Nestled in his bed, you let him be the small spoon as he shared what had been troubling him lately.
âI wish I could take all your pain away,â you said quietly, subconsciously tracing the contours of his face.
The boyâs eyes glimmered with appreciation, and he relaxed under your touch. âEven if you could, I wouldnât let you.â
Your lips parted to rebut his words but were stopped by a warm pair of lips pressing against yours. With widened eyes, you saw Renjunâs endearing expression after he pulled away.Â
âYouâre all I need,â he whispered, before leaning in once more.
Admittedly, you thought the second kiss would be the last for the night. But Renjun didnât stop this time, catching you a little off guard. Even though after a year of dating, intimacy had not been extensively explored in your relationship. Mainly because the both of you had boundaries and wanted to respect them, but thisâŠthis kiss that seemed to stretch on and on, and you didnât hate it.
His lips moved slowly against yours, as his fingers traced feather-light patterns along your jawline. With gentle pressure, he tilted your chin upward for a better angle to deepen the kiss. Eventually, you stopped letting your thoughts distract you and gradually allowed yourself to surrender to the moment. Your hands found their way to his back, pulling him closer as you kissed back in hopes of conveying all the comfort you wanted to give him.Â
It was enticing, losing yourself in this shared intimacy. Then when you finally parted for air, you noticed the glisten of tears in Renjunâs eyes.
âI love you,â he whispered against your lips, âso very much.â
You smiled, feeling your eyes get glossy as well. âI love you too, Jun.â
He embraced you once more, holding you closer than ever. It was at this moment when you silently promised to stay by Renjunâs side forever.Â
If you were all he needed, then you were willing to give everything.
ð©â¡ðªàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒð©â¡ðªàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒð©â¡ðªàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒð©â¡ðªàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒð©â¡ðªàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒð©â¡ðªàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒàŒð©â¡ðª
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Starving Yourself | Dream Reaction #6
Reaction: When their gf skips meals
Genre: Angst, slight fluff
Warnings: subtle mention of eating disorders, body image issues, lots of crying (I apologize)
Word Count: 3435k
Author's Note: I've had this subject in the back of my mind for a while now. A few days ago, I just got into it and thankfully finished today. I want to first credit my friend who helped me come up with scenarios for this lol.
Just a little disclaimer, I wanted to say something for those with poor body image. I feel like you hear things like this a lot, and you might read more things like "oh I also struggle too," and "please don't feel bad about yourself." When I was working on this, I did write some of the stories based on experience. So I don't have any right to advise on improving your self-esteem or working to have better eating habits. I'd be a hypocrite if I said those things. All I can say is that I know how what self-hatred is like, and how it can take you down some dark paths.
Please stay strong. I am very sorry for how long this note is ð
~ ~ ~
MARK
His life was going normally, being a workaholic as always. At the same time, he felt more at ease since he was dating you. The other night, you guys went out on a movie date to see the new Black Panther film. It wasnât until near the end of the movie that he noticed the popcorn you bought was barely touched. But knowing your slight dislike for greasy foods, Mark didn't think too much about it.
After dropping you off, he returned to his dorm. He was met by the Dream members who appeared to have been waiting for him. They watched quietly as their leader removed his shoes and took his jacket off.
âHyung?â Jisung asked cautiously.
âYeah? Whatâs up?â The Dreamies exchanged looks with each other that he couldnât quite read. Was it uncertainty?
âI donât think he knows,â Chenle murmured, causing Markâs brows to furrow in confusion.
âKnow what?â
Chenle glanced at his hyung, and back toward the members beside him. But he was going to tell Mark the truth no matter what.
âThat (Y/n) collapsed at her university last week.â
Mark stepped back, clearly shocked by this news. âWhat? Why?!â
âApparently she wasnât eating much,â answered Jaemin.
âSheâs your girlfriend. Didnât you notice something was off?â Haechanâs voice raised slightly. As one of your good friends, the singer couldnât help but show his irritation. He knew Mark had been so caught up in work recently. But youâve been struggling for a long time now.
Now in distress, Mark ran a hand through his hair as he searched his memory for anything he mightâve missed. He paused for a moment, remembering the popcorn from earlier. Then he was dashing back out the door, despite it starting to rain.
That was how you heard the sound of your doorbell ringing close to midnight. Luckily you were awake, but you were surprised to see Mark soaking wet. He also looked as if he was about to cry any second.
Despite your befuddlement, you pulled the man inside so he could change into some dry clothes. Mark would bring up to you what the guys told him earlier. At that moment, you began to regret hiding your problems from your boyfriend. Youâve never seen him so worried before.
You spent the rest of the eveningâor morning cuddling in bed. Mark kept repeating how much he loved you and apologized for making you feel like you couldnât come to him. All he sincerely wished for was for you to be happy and healthy. He wasn't going to allow another incident to happen.
â__________________________________________________________
RENJUN
You had spent nearly an hour getting ready to meet up with Renjunâs parents. Seeing them was the first thing on your list for a weekend trip to your boyfriendâs hometown. Itâs been nearly a year since you last met his parents, which made you more nervous than usual.
Renjunâs eyes lit up when you finally came out of the bathroom. He instantly recognized the white blouse with a dark blue floral print and the matching blue skirt you were wearing. It was the outfit he bought you not too long ago.Â
âWow, you look so pretty!â He exhaled. There was no hiding how taken away he was with you.
Even though you didnât agree with his compliment, you thanked him shyly. Renjun noticed something wasnât quite right pretty fast. The previous times you were about to meet his parents didnât feel like this. But he couldnât pinpoint why things felt strange with you.
Deciding to not dwindle on it, you guys left the hotel to meet up with Renjunâs parents at a restaurant. His mother quickly stood up when she spotted you two coming in. While she happily hugged her son, you exchanged greetings with his father.
âItâs so nice to see you again, (Y/n),â Mr. Huang smiled warmly.
You bowed your head politely, âThank you. Iâm sorry itâs been so long.â
Mrs. Huang pulled away from her son to get a better look at you. Her eyes filled with slight concern, and she took your hands. âMy Dear, youâve gotten skinnier!â
That's what it was. Renjun now knew what he was wondering about earlier. Preoccupied with carrying on a conversation with his mom and dad, you didnât notice how he observed you throughout dinner. He waited until you guys came back to your hotel room to confront you.
â(Y/n), are you okay?â
Your body tensed slightly at his question. âOf course I am. What makes you ask that?â
âItâs justâyouâve become so thin lately. Also, you barely ate anything tonight, and you love Chinese food,â He pointed out. âSweetheart, whatâs going on?â
Honestly, you felt like youâve been playing a game over the past few weeks. Wondering how long you could hide your unhealthy eating habits from Renjun. Of course, it didnât take him very long.
Your eyes dropped to the floor. âNothingâI just havenât been hungry recently.â
â(Y/n)-ah, please donât lie. You have to eat,â Renjun chastised.Â
He walked over to your side and lifted your chin with the tips of his fingers. âNow I know why youâve been so tired lately. If you keep this up, you can faint or something worse might happen.â
âIâm sorry. I guess, I just wanted to look my best for you and your parents,â You admitted, after a short pause.Â
In return, Renjun pressed his lips against your forehead. âFor the record, my parents love you, and so do I. You donât need to change anything about yourself. Especially if your health is at risk.â
You melted into his touch, and let yourself sink into his embrace. Renjun was always there to reassure you that you were more than enough for him.
â__________________________________________________________
JENO
Jeno and you were a newer couple, after having met through mutual friends at university. His major was computer programming, while you studied creative writing. So your schedules were different, but you did share one class.Â
Your boyfriend was the one to convince you to take dance. Honestly, you were a little reluctant at first. But you ended up signing up for the class to spend more time with him. Since Jeno was more athletic, dancing was a lot easier for him. YouâŠnot so much. It was still fun, despite the increasing levels of anxiety the class gave you every week.
One afternoon, you met up after both of your classes finished. Thatâs when he asked to eat lunch together later. Yeah, a typical thing for a just-got-into-a-relationship boyfriend.
You agreed to his sweet offer. But you didnât think when you jokingly added that it felt weird since you usually ate one meal a day. Jeno turned to you in astonishment.
âEo? Only once?!âÂ
Confused by his reaction, you slowly nodded. âYeahâŠâ
He stopped walking and moved his hand to your shoulder.
â(Y/n)-ah, that isnât healthy,â He lightly scolded.Â
But you quickly brushed off his concern for your eating habits. You took his hand and dragged him to the schoolâs dance studio. âItâs not a big deal, Jeno-ssi. We better hurry, class starts soon.â
In spite of Jeno being slightly wary, you seemed to be learning the new dance routine fairly smoothly. That was until you were changing formations and you started to become dizzy. Huffing quietly, you shook your head to dismiss the slow onset of a headache and kept up with the next moves. This feeling was something you were used to whenever you did any intense physical activity.Â
However, things were different when the room suddenly began to spin. Your legs were the first to give out, shortly after. Wincing, you pressed your knuckles against your forehead. Gasps and words you couldnât process only irritated you more. Fortunately, Jeno rushed to pick you up off the ground and carried you to the health office.
The nurse checked up on you after getting settled. âDid you eat anything today?â She asked.Â
Jeno couldnât hide a scoff when you told the woman you had. He frowned when the nurse advised you to rest. Once she left, Jeno allowed himself to sigh.
â(Y/n), you need to eat more.â
âI-I think I just need rest,â You contradicted him.
The boy crossed his arms in persistence. âHow can you rest when you have a headache because you donât eat three meals a day?â
His tone softened a bit when he realized how fatigued you were. Lecturing wasnât going to help you in this state. With another sigh, he made his way to the chair you were sitting in.
âRest for now,â He said gently. âIâll bring you something to eat.â
Jeno petted your head and pecked you on the lips before dashing out of the room. You waited anxiously for about 15 minutes before your boyfriend came back with assorted types of kimbap. He mustâve bought some from the nearby stand owned by a halmeoni.
You almost cried when he opened the wrapper and fed you. For the first time, someone showed you that they cared. Though you were both early in the relationship, you couldnât stop yourself from falling deeper for Lee Jeno. Most likely, love.
â__________________________________________________________
HAECHAN
Due to upcoming exams, you and Haechan spent your Saturday afternoon in the library preparing. Studying on a weekend may not be an ideal date in Haechanâs opinion. At the same time, he knew how stressed you got when exam season came around. But that didnât stop him from complaining now and then.
âAish, I missed breakfast because Jaemin was taking too long,â Haechan groaned.
He pouted when he received no response from you. His salty mood prevented him from getting anything done. On the other hand, you were ultra-focused on finishing up an essay for one of your English classes. However, you snapped out of your zone by Haechanâs hand tapping on the corner of your laptop.
âAre you hungry too? Did you have breakfast?â
Almost instinctively, you replied to his question with a simple âno.â You shook your head when he asked if your roommate was also running late this morning.
âI just forgot,â You said absentmindedly.
He watched your eyes flicker back to the computer screen in front of you. It kind of seemed like you wanted to end the conversation quickly. But you couldnât escape your boyfriend that easily.
Then he asked, âHow do you forget to eat breakfast?â
The cool expression on your face slowly faded, as you stopped to think for a moment. Lately, finals haven't only been your source of stress. This past month was spent traveling back and forth between Seoul and Pohang to take care of your sick mother. On top of that, you were balancing school life and hiding your problems from everyone. You guessed self-neglect was a result of all that.
Haechan noticed your sudden change and instantly became worried when tears formed in your eyes. He proceeded to reach his hand across the table to take yours.
â(Y/n), is everything okay?â
You promptly clasped your opposite hand over your mouth to muffle your sobs. At least you still had half the mind to cry quietly, remembering you were at a library. Usually, you were the last person to have an emotional outburst. But Haechanâs question made you realize how not okay you were.
Fortunately, your boyfriend was quick to act and rushed to your side. His arms wrapped around your shoulders, holding you in a tight embrace that would hopefully calm you down.Â
A few minutes later, Haechan closed your laptop. âOkay, youâre going to stop thinking about school for the rest of the day.â
âHyuckâŠâ You wanted to argue, though you knew he was already standing up and packing your things away.
âYou can tell me whatâs been bothering you over lunch,â He added, âDoes jjamppong sound okay?â
Haechan had no idea what was causing you to break down, or why you werenât taking care of yourself. But getting you to eat was his priority, and he started by recommending your favorite dish.Â
Since then, heâs become a lot more protective and gone out of his way to take care of you more. Whenever he was down, you were always there to support him. So thatâs what he was going to do for you.
â__________________________________________________________
JAEMIN
The first thing he did after getting out of bed was to look for you. He was a little sulky that you didnât get to wake up together. Especially since he hasnât seen you in one month and two weeks. Jaemin loved his job, but he hated how it also brought this distance in between you two. What made him feel worse was how you never complained. Not even this time, when he showed up at your apartment at one a.m. Instead of scolding him for coming over at such a crazy hour or for walking to your place in the cold, you simply led him into your room to get some much-needed sleep.
Luckily, it didnât take long for Jaemin to find you. He was greeted by one of his favorite aromas when entering the kitchen. And there you were at the counter, carefully pouring a pot of steaming dark liquid into a blue mug. Watching you he realized you had gotten up early to make coffee for him.
As his heart swelled with a dozen emotions, he walked up to stand behind you. Barely startled by his presence, you merely glanced upward to see the tired grin on his face.Â
âDid you sleep well?â He responded with a delicate kiss on your exposed neck.
His arms circled your waist, gently pulling your back to meet his chest. It was then, did he notice how his girlfriendâs waist was practically nonexistent, or in other words, thin. Thinner than usual and definitely not healthy.
Jaeminâs smile contorted into a look of concern. Slightly pulling away, he turned to you.
âJagiya, have you been eating well?â His tone was soft, despite his deep voice.
Automatically, you could tell your boyfriend wasnât speaking in a casual small talk way. Nonetheless, you pretended not to be fazed.
âIâve been on a dietâŠâ You set the coffee mug down.
He frowned. âWhat kind, if you donât mind me asking?â
You cursed in your head, as you hurriedly made up a lie.
âA low-carb diet,â You tried your best to sound assertive.
âA low-carb diet or a no-carb diet?â
You froze in place when you noticed the hint of anger in the last part of his question. Jaemin slowly turned you around to face him. â(Y/n), be honest. Have you been eating well?â
Several seconds of silence passed by, as you couldnât even look him in the eye.
âNo.â There was a catch in your throat, as your lips quivered.
Jaemin brought you back into his embrace when you began to cry. His chin rested on the top of your head, as your tears soaked his shirt. His heart broke at the sound of your sobs. All he could do was press kisses into your hair, and pat your back.
You sniffed, âI justâŠI just see pictures of us, and I hate how I look when youâre so perfect.â
â(Y/n)-ahâŠâ
âI know it sounds stupid. But I want to be a girlfriend who is also beautiful.â
Jaemin cupped the right side of your face and sighed, â(Y/n)-ah, youâve always been beautiful to me. You donât need to lose weight or do anything else to prove that.â
As comforting as his words were, Jaemin knew that it would take more than that to make you feel better. From then on, he didnât miss a chance to shower you with compliments and affection. He loved you and had no problem making sure you believed that.
â__________________________________________________________
CHENLE
You were currently on opposite sides of the room. Chenle was watching Instagram videos on his phone, and you were writing the next chapter to a story you started a while ago. This was agreeably considered hanging out with each other. Doing your own thing until someone broke the silence. And this time, it was Chenle.
His stomach growling did not go ignored by him. Naturally, he pulled up a delivery food app. He then paused and looked over to you who was typing away on your computer.
â(Y/n)-ahhh, Iâm ordering food. What do you want?â
âI donât know,â You replied, without looking up.
Chenle sat up in his spot on the couch. âDo you want tteokbokki?â
âUm, Iâm not in the mood for tteokbokki.â He saw your head shake behind the computer.
âJokbal?â
âHaechan will be upset if we eat that without him.â
âHow about tonkatsu?â
âEhâŠâ
âOkay, what about-â
Losing concentration, you shut your laptop in frustration. âIâm not hungry! Just order something for yourself.â
âI want to eat with you though,â He whined. You closed your eyes for a moment and sighed before starting to speak again.Â
âButââ
âNo buts. Youâre going to come here and help me choose something.â
Just as you opened your mouth to protest, Chenle already decided he had enough. He lifted you from your chair which earned him an âare you crazy?â look. Then he brought you to where he was previously sitting. While doing so, he noticed that you were very light.
âHow are you not hungry?â Chenle asked. âYour stomach is practically crying out to me.â
You wrapped your arms around your waist self-consciously. âYouâre exaggerating, Chenle.â
Even though you made it sound like not a big deal, Chenle had a feeling there was an underlying problem here. He knew that you had a small appetite, but having no desire to eat was separate. For someone who was such a big foodie, the idea of his girlfriend starving herself worried him.
âWe havenât had a meal together in so long,â Chenle pretended to sulk. âBut if you really donât want to eat, I wonât force you.â
Ugh, you just couldnât resist the rare look of sadness on the boyâs face. He knew you hated to be guilty.
So with a sigh, you slowly made a new suggestion. âActuallyâŠmaybe we can get tteokbokki. Can we just share the bowl?âÂ
As if he wasnât moping a second ago, Chenle smiled and wrapped his arm around your shoulders. âOf course. Anything for you, Cutie.â
â__________________________________________________________
JISUNG
He sat patiently in the lobby, waiting for you who was at a doctor's appointment. You insisted this was nothing but a normal check-up. But that didnât stop Jisung from accompanying you. He stood up in slight surprise when you came out earlier than expected.
â(Y/n)-ah! Youâre done?â You bobbed your head and grabbed his hand with a small smile.Â
Jisung noticed you were being quieter than usual during the drive to your place. But he thought you might be tired from a long day of classes before having to visit the doctorâs office. Youâd probably feel better when you got back home.
Once you guys arrived, Jisung was left alone when you went to change into more comfortable clothes. As he plopped down on your small couch, his eyes darted to the medical papers you had previously left on the coffee table. Out of habit, Jisung picked up the papers to organize them.Â
However, your recorded weight on the first page caught him off guard. His eyes widened in horror at the number. He knew you were small, especially compared to his size. But he didnât think you were underweight to the point that it was dangerous. This mustâve been why you barely said anything earlier.
Tears flooded his eyes in an instant when he saw you walk out of the room. Suddenly confused as to why your boyfriend was crying, your lips parted to ask what was wrong. Then you spotted the slightly crumpled papers in his hands.
âJisungâI can explain,â You spoke calmly, in an attempt to keep your voice stable.Â
Jisung looked at you in despair. âIs this why I havenât seen you eat lately? Or how you donât want to go shopping together anymore?â
Your confirmed silence made him feel worse. Regardless he rushed up to hug you, engulfing your small frame into his taller figure. The two of you stayed in that position for a long time. Your fingers stroked his back as you also tried to calm him down. You made sure to reassure him that you knew you had a problem and were going to try to build better eating habits. Jisung would offer any support he could give you.
â__________________________________________________________
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