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candycorncarl · 4 years

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Right Here, Right Now

WOW!! I’m finally posting part 4! I am so sorry it took this long. I had a lot going on but I reworked this part sooo many times. I really wanted to do something similar to the toothbrush scene in bring it on and one of the priest scenes in fleabag... enjoy!! p.s there are two songs I used as inspo for this chapter fever thoughts by louis III and north by clairo!

Warnings: alcohol, angst Word count: 4.5k

Part 4

"Couldn't our unsub choose, I don't know? A warm sandy beach?" Emily groans, zipping her coat up. You all make your way into the parking lot of the local police station.

The forecast for your stay in Maine was looking rather snowy. The town you were in was smaller than usual so they didn't have typical accommodations for many visitors. Right now the plan was to stay at the station. Something you were all hoping wouldn't actually have to happen. You don't know whose idea it was to wait outside since it was freezing, but the snow was beautiful.

"At least the scenery is pretty." You look up at the sky watching it fall, feeling yourself blinking away small flakes.

"Should we all huddle together to stay warm?" Derek smiles at the three of you. "Oh yeah you'd love that." JJ scoffs with an eye roll. Looking past the group you see Spencer standing by himself. He's struggling trying to study a map on the hood of the suv while fighting off the cold. If I was going to huddle with anyone to stay warm it would be him. He gives up on the map and looks up at the snow falling. The parking lot lamp softly lighting up his face. That constant subtle ache from missing him hurts a little more watching him take in the snow. The way it was falling made it look like he was moving in slow motion. It's not until he's made his way standing next to you in the group that you're knocked out of your trance. Diverting your eyes back to Derek, he's talking about... Chicago winters, ah okay.

"Well I know one things for sure, I am going to warm up with a nice cup of tea that Y/n will be serving about a certain someone." A big grin forms across Emily's face as she tightens her coat around her body. "Ohhh count me in." JJ says with a mischievous smile. "Oh my god." You tug down on your coat pockets feeling put on the spot. Looking down at your feet you let out a small laugh, trying to hide how uncomfortable you actually are. Please, let's talk about anything else. "Hey now, what about us?" Derek asks sounding offended, gesturing to Spencer. Your breath hitches at the thought of Spencer sitting there listening to you talk about Luke. "No boys allowed, sorry." Emily shrugs her shoulders at Derek. As your breathing returns to normal you try to avoid looking at Spencer. You can feel his eyes on you, waiting for you to say something. "Yeah, well you're welcome. If it wasn't for me you wouldn't even know who he is." Derek huffs out a laugh.

You laugh Derek off but can't help to glance up at Spencer, looking up at him feeling like a guilty puppy. His eyes dart to the ground and you watch his brows furrow together. Great, he can't even look at me. Unsure of how to reply, this is literally the last thing you wanted to talk about with Spencer around. As you awkwardly laugh trying to figure out how to respond Spencer pipes up, looking back up at the snow. The snowflakes gingerly kiss his skin, I never thought I'd be jealous of snow. "Did you guys know snow is comprised of ninety to ninety five percent trapped air? It makes for a great insulator. An igloo that uses only body heat can become around 100 degrees warmer inside compared to the outside temperature." Spencer begins to ramble, distracting the group from the previous conversation. "So... what? We should just build igloos to sleep in tonight?" JJ retorts. "Considering none of us have ever in built one, it would take too long to actually be practical for tonight. It can take anywhere from three to six-" Spencer continues. "Please tell us we all have beds to sleep in tonight!" Derek shouts over Spencer at Hotch and Rossi as they make their way back to the group. "We found a bed and breakfast that's willing to open for us." Hotch says. "They're usually closed this time of year, but thanks to a little persuasion from yours truly they agreed to take us in." Rossi raises an eyebrow while slipping his leather gloves on. Everyone quickly thanks him while rushing to the suv's.

___________

Sitting near the cozy fireplace in the small bar area of the bed and breakfast was the perfect way to warm up. Enjoying your wine the inevitable conversation starts. "Ok, so when is date number two with Luke?" Emily sips on her wine glass, her brows perking up innocently. You roll your eyes and smile. "Well.. it already sorta happened?" You bite your bottom lip looking away from them. "I'm sorry, when? And why didn't you tell us?!" JJ tilts her head at you. "We decided to get lunch a few days ago. It was a little last minute. I got to meet his dog Roxy though! We met at the park and yeah, it was nice." You take a big gulp of wine knowing the subject wasn't going to change anytime soon.

Talking about Luke is confusing to say the least. He is someone you would be head over heels for, if you weren't already feeling that way. How do I just turn off my feelings for Spencer so soon... or at all for that matter? Ugh! It was only one night with Spencer... Get. Over. It. That night was the culmination of over a years worth of hidden feelings though. It wasn't something that was only to last as long as a match can hold a flame. You thought you knew Spencer, you thought it meant the same thing for him. How could it not?

"Oh come on! You've gotta give us more than that. Do you like him?" Emily pushes your arm, pulling out of your thoughts.

"Alright, alright fine. I mean so far he's great. He's a good dog dad, which says a lot about him. He's funny, he listens. I'm surprised by some of the stuff he manages to remember. Yeah, he's easy to talk to." You feel yourself beginning to smile, but you catch yourself. You begin to twirl your hair in your fingers feeling a little nervous from your emotions. The wine combined with your nerves is making you feel warmer by the second, you feel your cheeks heating up.

"Ok well, you can finally admit I picked a good one." JJ singsongs as she pours a little more wine into your glasses.

You shake your head in agreement, raising your glass at her before taking another big sip.

"And he's hot, let's not forget that." JJ says, raises her glass in return.

"And he's hot." Your eyes widen, and Emily raises an eyebrow noticing your facial expression.

"Oh! What does that face mean?" She leans closer as a curious smile grows across her face.

"Umm... he might've sent me a picture of him and Roxy after a hike they went on and... let me just show you." You pull your phone out searching for the photo. Biting your bottom you try to hide your giddy school girl smile. Finding the photo you hand your phone over to Emily.

"Wow! How many abs is that?" She studies the picture sharing the phone with JJ. JJ's face lights up as she tries to hide her intrigue.

"That would be at least 6." JJ clears her throat examining the photo before handing your phone back.

"Ok yeah, I think JJ wins as best wing woman." Emily chuckles.

"She does, and with that being said I need to go to bed. The wine is kicking in." You set your glass down and hop off your seat.

"I'm sure you'll be having some sweet dreams." Emily winks at you, and you all start to giggle before you make your way to the stairs.

You head up the creaky stairs, the alcohol making your legs feel heavy. Smiling to yourself as you think of your lunch date with Luke in the park. Maybe all I need to do is just give it time... Reaching your room you throw your now suffocating sweater off along with your itchy bra. Your tank top is already acting as a form of relief from the warmth of the alcohol. You're now regretting practically chugging it. Grabbing your toiletries you shuffle to the bathroom, eager to wash your face and go to bed. Opening the door you're surprised to see Spencer standing on the other side.

"OH!" You yelp in fear, swiftly slamming the door closed.

"Wait, is this a shared bathroom?" You ask, flustered through the door.

"Uh, it seems so." Spencer says, not sounding very enthused.

"Wow, they could have told us that to avoid any heart attacks." You say with your hand placed over your heart.

"I'm finishing up if you need to set your stuff down." Spencer replies, his voice slightly muffled.

Your heart shifts from a fearful thump to a now nervous thump. You haven't had any alone time with Spencer since that night in the elevator. Since he rejected you and left you in tears. Making sure to avoid eye contact you set your stuff down on the sink.

He's brushing his teeth, mouth full of toothpaste. He isn't looking at you at first but when he does decide to look up at you through the mirror he does a double take. Taking in the lack of clothing you're wearing his eyes hold an aggressive gaze on the faucet. She's going to be the death of me.

"I just need to brush my teeth too." You say shuffling through your bag, still avoiding eye contact.

Not having had a conversation with Spencer in weeks that wasn't solely work related created an awkwardness in the air that could be cut with a knife. Talking to him was somehow the last thing you were ready to do, but was still the only thing you wanted. Luckily shoving a toothbrush in your mouth saved you from any uncomfortable conversation. You shakily squeeze some toothpaste on your brush and begin swirling it around your mouth. You peek up at him in the mirror and he replies with a small eyebrow shrug. Feeling your mouth quickly filling with the frothy toothpaste, you brush for what felt like forever. At this point it feels like a contest of who can go the longest. The two of you exchanging awkward glimpses at one another waiting to see who will finish first. The quick consumption of alcohol earlier keeps your mind fuzzy from the small bit that dribbled onto your chest, attracting even more attention to your taunting tank top. Bending down to spit out the excess, you also don't seem to realize how open your tank top is hanging down.

Spencers face turns a deep shade of red watching you. The dribble slowly moving down your chest putting thoughts in his head he tries his hardest to stop. When you bend over and your tank top falls from your chest he nearly becomes undone. The situation becoming all the more agonizing for him. He finally spits his toothpaste out and tries to subtly run some water over his face.

Once you look in the mirror you finally notice the small mess on your chest. "Oh, whoops!" You let out a small laugh, blushing in embarrassment.

Spencer tries to pack his stuff up hurriedly. Doing everything he can to avoid anymore glances at you or your chest. His cheeks keep their rosy color as he fumbles with getting his toothbrush back in his bag.

"That seemed a little longer than the recommended time to brush, didn't it Doctor?" You ask trying to joke, but the word doctor slips out more flirtatiously than intended. You just want to have a pleasant ending to the rather embarrassing situation for yourself. His sudden change in demeanor is enough to make you stop wiping the toothpaste off your chest. Fuck I just made it worse.

"Please, don't call me that." He turns to face you.

"Oh I was just-" Before you can finish your sentence he cuts you off. Something he's gotten a little too good at.

"Acting like it doesn't turn you on just to say it." He nearly whispers as he lets out a small provoked laugh, shaking his head. Suddenly, his thumb meets your chin as he wipes away a tiny bit of toothpaste that went unnoticed. His eyes dart from yours to your lips. His fingers still holding your chin.

You feel dizzy from the sudden rush of blood to your face. You can't take your eyes off of his, almost out of fear. Any sudden movement would have consequences, so you stand there completely frozen in his hand. As you watch his gaze shift down your body and his brows furrow together his eyes seem to darken. A look of anger running across his face. The only thing you can hear is your heart pounding, anticipating each second. Then suddenly, without saying anything else he walks into his room and shuts the door. What the fuck? Standing there in awe of what just happened your fingers brush over where he touched your chin. Did he really just do that? Your feet seem stuck in place so you're not sure how stepped over to his bedroom door. Should I open it? Yes. ...No. You bite your cheek, retracting your hand from the knob. What was that?! Fuck! Too many thoughts are racing through your head. Your hand grips the doorknob again out of impulse. Just as you decide to turn it you hear your phone ring in your room. Jumping back you stare at the door a bit longer. Frowning, you turn back into your room.

Spencers hand is gripping the doorknob so tight his knuckles turn white. He rests his head on the door, a long rigid breath huffing from his nose. Not only did the shared bathroom catch him off guard, the fact you're the one sharing it with him is almost too much to handle. The cherry on top being your flimsy tank top, teasing him unintentionally. Shaking his burning hand that was just caressing your chin, he sees the doorknob barely turn. He jumps back, heart beating out of his chest. As quickly as he saw it move it stopped, and then he hears the sound of your closing door. Turning to face his room he runs his hands through his hair taking a deep sigh. He angrily fights with the buttons on his shirt, tearing it off with fervor. Knock on the door. She was about to come in. He stops walking to the door as he hears your muffled voice through the paper thin walls. The cadence of your voice revealing you're not talking to just a friend. She's talking to Luke. He pushes his bag off his bed out of frustration, FUCK!

"Yeah?" You stumble over the bed to answer your phone before it goes to voicemail. Not checking the caller id beforehand. Your head feels like it's splitting.

"He-Hey! I hope it's okay that I called you? I wasn't sure if you'd still be working." He sounds surprised that you answered, but taken aback by how you answered.

"Oh my god Luke. Yes, yeah of course! We finished for the night not too long ago. I just got to my room." You clear your throat trying to shift your full attention to your conversation.

"If you need to go I understand, I don't want to keep you up." He shyly laughs through the phone.

"No, it's okay. Sorry it's just been a long day." You sit on the bed staring at the bathroom door.

"It's okay, I get it. Hopefully you're staying warm?" Luke asks calmly.

"Trying to. It's freezing here, beautiful, but freezing. I'm sure Roxy would love playing in all this snow." You feel a smile spread across your face thinking of how excited she would be.

"She definitely would. I think she misses you actually." He says hesitantly. You don't often hear him sound so nervous.

"Are you sure she misses me? Or just the treats I gave her." You chortle.

"Ah, well either way I'm sure she'd be happy to see you again." Luke says, clearly petting Roxy in the background. "She's not the only one who would like to see you again." He still sounds slightly nervous.

"Oh? I'm not sure when we'll be back yet." You bite the inside of your cheek. You just don't have it in you to flirt back right now, you can feel the guilt creeping up inside you. Your fingers somehow find their way to where Spencers just were.

"Of course, yeah. No worries." He quickly replies. There's almost a sense of embarrassment in his tone.

His tone confuses you for a second until you realize the way your reply came across. What am I saying? I do want to see him again.

"I'll let you go so you can get some sleep." Luke says after a brief pause.

"That would be nice though! Seeing Roxy, that is. I'll let you know when we're headed back." You let out a small laugh in hopes to let him know you didn't mean to shoot him down. "Of course. Well goodnight, dulces sueños." The confidence in his voice coming back.

You say goodbye and plop your head back on the pillow. What am I doing?

___

Sitting on the edge of his bed he can't shake the sight of you in your tank top, the toothpaste trailing down your chest, your inability to take your eyes off of his. The way you eat up his mind makes him restless. His leg shaking over the edge of the bed, he bites away at his bottom lip. It's like the worlds way of torturing him, being able to hear you talk to someone who isn't him. He doesn't even bother distracting himself with a game of chess or a book to read. He hopes for once he can just force himself to sleep. Something he's never been good at, but right now he's desperate for an escape from you. Even though you are the only place he wants to be. Laying in bed he stares up at the ceiling, images of you still flashing through his mind. He flashes back to you standing in the snow. The snowflakes getting stuck on your eyelashes, the permanent flush on your cheeks from the cold air... the guilt in your eyes when you looked up at him. Shaking that thought away he sits up. Why did she stop turning the doorknob? Did she want to come in? No, because if she wanted to she would have. Knowing you're just on the other side of the door, knowing all he has to do is walk through that door to see you, to be able to touch you again, to feel your touch again. She doesn't want me anymore. She would have come in if she did. She has... Luke. She was probably just going to tell me to leave her alone. Turning the light off he turns over glaring at the window. The unavoidable tossing and turning keeping him up all night.

___

Your alarm wakes you up and you groggily turn over in the warm bed. That was 2 maybe 3 hours of sleep? Checking your phone you see a good morning text from Luke. You send a quick good morning back and give yourself a few more minutes in the warmth of the bed you knew you'd lose to the cold air of the room. You hear the shower turn off in the bathroom and you sit up. Spencers words from last night flood your memory, causing a melancholic nervousness to fill your stomach. You scroll through your texts finding your messages with him. His last text reading as piercing as the temperature outside.

Reid: You should go on the date.

He couldn't even talk to me about it. He just dismissed me. You feel your eyes filling with tears, as you think back to how scared you were to go to his apartment that night. It was terrifying but finally happening, and it was so much better than all the times you had dreamed about. How do I miss him this much? Scared of your feelings, you wipe your eyes dry and make your way to the bathroom. You step into the steaming shower hoping to wash this sadness off of you. Letting the warm water reset yourself. You begin to hum a song you've been listening to on repeat, the lyrics seem to be as if you wrote them. Going through the motions of your morning routine you don't even remember the walk down from your room to the breakfast area.

Grabbing a plate and filling it with food you scan over the dining area you make sure to sit away from wherever Spencer is. Finding an empty seat by Rossi you gladly take it.

"The one great thing about staying in a bed and breakfast? The breakfast." Rossi says, setting down a cup of coffee in front of you. "I have to give this place a 5 star rating for their choice of italian sausage!" He continues as he takes a seat across from you.

"Wow, 5 stars? That's almost unheard of from you." You tease him while cutting up some to try.

"Well you know the only other place I can rate so highly is where you went on your date the other night." Rossi says in a teasing way, smiling as he takes a bite.

"Oh! Yeah the food was amazing." You really didn't want to talk about your date there with Rossi, especially after the morning you've had.

"How's everything going with that?" He takes a sip of his coffee watching you fidget in your seat.

"Everything is good. We've only gone on one other date but he's great." You shove some food into your mouth and smile. Looking back at your plate you begin to push your food around.

"But?" Rossi watches your fork play with your food.

"But what?" You look up at him with a confused frown, cheeks still full of food.

"But, something is bothering you. Hence you playing with your food." He nudges his eyes at your plate.

You look around the room to see if anyone else was listening. Everyone seems engaged in their own conversations so you let out a deep sigh. The frown stays put on your face.

"It's complicated but I opened up to someone... about my feelings for them. I thought they felt the same way considering what happened between us. Except now it seems like they want nothing to do with me." You divert your eyes over to Spencer for a moment, then back to Rossi. "The problem is that all of this happened before that first date with Luke. I'm just having a hard time sorting out my feelings. It's nothing really." A tight lipped smile forms on your face as you look down at your plate.

"I see. Well, maybe this person got scared of their own emotions? If this was something that happened suddenly that is. I can't imagine they wouldn't want to be with you, bella donna." Rossi winks, "Regardless you deserve someone who can be there for you. Does Luke seems like a good guy?" His eyebrow raises as sips more of his coffee.

"He's a good guy... but so is the other one. That's my problem." You give Rossi a half grin, making yourself eat a little bit more.

"Except one knows what he wants. Just remember that." He takes another bite of food.

You spin your eggs around on your fork as his words sink in.

Spencer searches through his phone growing more agitated by the second. He looks over at you talking to Rossi. What song was she humming earlier? He could hear you through the door right before he left and the soft melody won't leave his head.

"Damn pretty boy I've never seen you spend so much time on your phone. Are you okay?" Derek asks jokingly sipping his coffee.

"Have you heard of a song that goes hmm hmmm hmm hmm hmmm..." He hums the song the same as you did, just with much more discomfort. His big brown eyes scanning their faces hoping one has the answer.

"Uhhh, no? Is that what you're doing? Looking for that song?" JJ asks, giving Derek a look of confusion.

"I've had it stuck in my head all morning and don't know what it is. I only heard that small part of it." He continues searching through his phone.

"Maybe y/n would know? She loves music." Emily turns to call you over.

"It's fine! I'll figure it out." Spencer stops her, giving her a tight lipped smile.

"Ohhhkay... well good luck trying to figure it out." Emily pops her t and exchanges looks with JJ and Derek. They shrug it off and continue their conversation finishing up their breakfast.

"Let's head out in ten." Hotch announces before heading out in his typical serious manner.

"You better eat quickly, Reid. I'm not stopping for a chicken wrap when we're an hour on the road." Derek pushes Spencer's plate closer to him before getting up.

Climbing into the suv with Emily and Rossi, you take the passengers seat. It wasn't the shortest drive to the police station and you wanted to try and hold off on anymore conversations for the morning.

"Do you mind if I put some music on?" You plug your phone in before they could say no.

"Go for it." Emily says climbing into the backseat.

"Thanks." You put on the song you were humming earlier, needing to actually hear it aloud. Staring out the window, taking in the beautifully frosted trees you let your mind wonder along with the song. Emily perks up noticing the familiar tune from Spencer. She pulls her phone out.

Prentiss: Is this your song?

Spencer hears his phone ding and frantically pulls it out. Opening the text from Emily he reads over the picture she sent. North by Clairo.

"Can I use your headphones?" He turns to look at Derek driving.

"I guess, but just until we get to the station." Derek huffs pointing to his bag in the backseat.

He grabs the bag and searches for his headphones. Plugging them into his phone he opens up his music app and searches for the song. He presses play and closes his eyes. A frown growing over him as he listens closely to the lyrics, his chest feeling tighter as the song goes on. He tightly grips his phone waiting for the part you were humming.

All I'm tryna say Is I miss you in every way Fingertips on my back Things I know that I can't have

Never seen a face like yours I got it together but my breath feels short I don't wanna close the door Maybe I should just go up north

As the song ends his eyes open and he stares down at his phone. The lyrics nearly breaking him. Is this how she feels? He presses the replay button and listens to the song on repeat for the rest of the ride.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

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doyouever-daydream · 5 years

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V-Day Babysitting Duty

A/N Hello all! Here I am with another imagine about Spencer Reid and SSA (y/n), forgot to mention before that this will probably catalogued as slow burn lol, this can be read as a one instalment or you can go and read this if you want to know more about (y/n). I’ve had this idea in my head for two weeks and I’ve been trying to write it down but then my mind went blank and tonight from having one page, I ended up with almost six. This song also helped with the inspo. GIF is not mine, I found it on pinterest and I’ve tried to find the source but failed to do so :(

ALSO this is another entry for my Criminal Minds bingo card the square is holidays and my plan is to write a series of oneshots so this is the first one.

@cmbingo

Enjoy! And if you want to read more of my nonsense here it is lol

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Warnings: Fluff, fluff, fluff.

Word count: 3056 (oof)

It was Friday morning and the bullpen was busy, people seemed to have more energy than usual, maybe they were eager to finish their tasks and go home to their loved ones so they could celebrate Valentine’s day.

Luckily for the BAU team, they had no active case which meant they were only consulting, they were all looking forward to the weekend, hoping to enjoy the calm before the storm, it was only a matter of time before they had to travel somewhere.

“So what are your plans for tonight?” Luke asked excitedly, wanting to hear about his friends’ plans and to tell them his.

“I have a date, we’re having dinner, then we’re going to a classic cars exhibition” Tara replied while she closed her casefile and turned to see her coworkers.

“Sounds dope” Luke told her also forgetting his current case.

“Is this a first date?” (y/n) looked at her with narrowed eyes while she bit her pen.

“No, actually, this is the, uh, like 8th date” Tara shrugged her shoulders.

“And why didn’t you share it with the class, Tara?” Matt smirked.

“Well I don’t know, but it is actually going really well”

“What is?” JJ was walking by and decided this conversation sounded way more interesting than the pile of cases waiting in her office.

“Why am I the only one talking? (y/n), what are you doing tonight?”

“Well, funny that you ask, this Friday I am spending my Valentine’s day like I did pretty much every V-day during my highschool years” She laughed while everyone looked confused.

“She’s babysitting the kids so Kristy and I can have dinner and some alone time, she might be my favorite teammate” Matt interfered.

“Damn right I am and if there is a sixth baby after tonight, I have godmother rights” (y/n) joked while everyone laughed.

“Ha! I don’t think so but you have auntie rights with all five”

“We have great friends, Matt, Spence offered to babysit Henry and Michael tonight” JJ looked at Matt while raising her eyebrows.

“Oh, well, why don’t they come over to the house tonight? Maybe they can have a sleepover, the kids would love that, would that be ok, (y/n)?” Matt carefully asked, desperately hoping she’d say yes.

“Yeah, totally” (y/n) thought that having an extra pair of hands with the Simmons clan would be helpful besides she adored JJ’s little boys.

“I’m gonna tell Spence then”

JJ smiled widely as she immediately went off to find Spencer to tell him the good news. Matt, Tara and (y/n) went back to their files while Luke sat there, amused by the way JJ and Matt were trying to set Spencer and (y/n) up. His face fell when he noticed the others thought the conversation was done and he hadn’t told them his plans.

“I’m taking Penelope to dinner, then I’m gonna surprise her with tickets for an art exhibit she’s been dying to go” Luke spoke up while everyone looked back at him with wide eyes.

“You what!?” Penelope almost screamed while walking up to Luke, the closer her high heels sounded, the more Luke sank into his seat “You got us tickets for tonight!? Oh my gosh, I can’t believe it” She shrieked with joy wanting to kiss him right there but she didn’t want any HR seminars on proper behaving so she stopped herself from doing so.

“Luke’s getting really lucky tonight” (y/n) smirked while Tara and Matt started laughing.

“Atta boy!” Tara said still laughing.

“I better hurry up then” Luke flashed Penelope a smile, the blonde woman just winked at him and continued her way to find Anderson.

The rest of the day went by fair quickly, everyone was anxious to start their weekends and forget about work duties for a few, (y/n) hadn’t seen Spencer much during the day but she figured JJ had already told him as she promised.

She entered the elevator and as the doors were closing, Spencer barely made it into the elevator with her.

“Are you in a hurry to see someone, doctor?” (y/n) held back a smirk while Spencer recovered his breath.

“No, it’s just I really need to take these books back to the library before it closes” He awkwardly smiled while holding up the books to her.

“Oh, I thought you had a date or something” (y/n) was curious as to if he had other plans before going to JJ’s house.

“No, uhm, actually JJ told me, the boys and I were invited to join all of you at Matt’s house” His free hand played nervously with the strap of his bag.

“Yup, I believe you’re stuck with me on Valentine’s day, doc” She nudged him on the elbow.

“It’s ok, I- I think all nine of us will have a great time” He flashed her a shy smile.

(y/n)’s stomach did a flip, she was nervous, happy and excited about spending time with Spencer. The last few weeks she had noticed something had changed in her, suddenly the presence of Spence made her heart feel warm and fuzzy.

The doorbell rang and (y/n) picked up Rose from the playmat to go and greet their visits. When she opened the door Henry and Michael were already in their pajamas and jumping with excitement ready to go and play with their cousins.

“Hi auntie (y/n)!” Michael hugged her legs and (y/n) affectionately

“Hi sweetie, happy Valentine’s day! We’ve been waiting for you, come on in!” (y/n) moved to the side so the three of them could enter the house.

“Henry! Michael!” David ran to greet his cousins and was followed by the rest of his siblings.

Spencer’s face made (y/n) laugh, he certainly looked a little worried.

“We’re gonna be fine, it’ll be only a couple hours” (y/n) said while patting his shoulder with her free arm.

“Seven children, I don’t think I ever been with this many children alone” Spencer looked at her while she bounced little Rose in her hip.

“You’re not alone though, I am an expert at babysitting besides they are really sweet, I don’t think they’ll give us trouble” As if on cue Rose shrieked in an adorable way getting both of their attention. “See? Rose agrees with me” (y/n) smiled widely at the baby.

“Ah, Rose! Since when you’ve gotten so big?” Spencer cooed to Rose, who was getting excited for getting more attention, she reached her little arms to him.

“Ok, off you go with uncle Spence” (y/n) passed her to him and he happily took her in his arms.

Spencer had gotten way better with kids thanks to Henry and Michael, then when Matt had joined the team, he had not only gained a team mate but nephews and nieces. He adored all of them.

“Ok, so what do you want to do?” (y/n) said when they were all in the living room, Rose was still in Spencer’s arms trying to pull his hair.

“There’s a Lego set David and I, have been wanting to build, do you want to help us out?” Jake turned to Henry.

“Yeah, that’d be cool” Henry eagerly replied.

“It’s on our room, let’s get it and we can build it here” The three of them ran upstairs leaven the little ones looking at their uncle and auntie with expecting eyes.

“Guys! Do you wanna make Valentine’s cards?” I brought a lot of stuff we can use to make them” (y/n) suggested, she loved doing crafts with kids, something she had gotten from her mom being a kindergarten teacher.

“YES!” Chloe, Lily and Michael started to jump with excitement, they, too, loved making crafts.

“Let me grab the stuff from my bag and set it all on the table, wait here” She turned on the TV so they could watch something and Spencer was sitting in the living room, still playing with Rose.

“Spence, can you come over here for a sec?” (y/n) called for him from the kitchen while looking to the pizza place menu Kristy had told her to call.

“What’s up?” The moment Spence took his eyes off Rose, the little one took her chance and went to grab his uncle’s hair, pulling it hard, both Rose and (y/n) started laughing.

“That’s why I put my hair out of her reach” She pointed to her headband that had any strands of hair away from her face.

“Yeah, I’m gonna take that into consideration” Spencer smiled at the baby who was still amused in her arms.

“Kristy told me to order pizza for dinner, I’m ordering pepperoni for the kiddos, I texted JJ and she said it was fine, but I’m not sure what would you like?” She was already dialing on her phone.

“Whatever you order it’s fine” She looked at him warily “Seriously, anything is fine”

“Ok, go and see if the kids got the Lego set they were talking about, please”

“Ok” He smiled and turned to go back, he felt so content of being there with her and the kids, he didn’t care much for Valentine’s day but this one was his favorite, without a doubt.

When Rose started to get fuzzy and wanting to go down, he put her in the playmat where she happily took her toys and started babbling, forgetting about the people around her. So Spencer decided to see if David, Jake and Henry wanted some help.

(y/n) was sitting with Chloe, Lily and Michael while they did their cards.

“So you already know who you want to make a Valentine’s card for?” (y/n) asked while giving them paper sheets folded in half.

“My mommy!” Michael was already grabbing crayons and drawing something.

“I’m not sure yet” Lily had a hand under her chin, squinting her eyes trying to figure out who she wanted to give a Valentine’s card to.

“I’m gonna make you one, auntie!” Chloe started to grab stickers and putting them on the paper.

“That’s so nice of you, if any of you need help with something, you tell me, ok?” (y/n) was excited to see them unleash their creativity.

“You’re not gonna make one?” Chloe asked with a surprised expression.

“You know what, I am” (y/n) winked to the little girl and Chloe giggled.

“Make one for uncle Spence!” Lily suggested with the biggest grin on her face.

(y/n) didn’t answer and just smiled, the whole world seemed to suggest that something else should happen between them but she just wasn’t sure that would turn into a reality. She didn’t think it was possible for Spencer to see her like that. Nor she was sure she wanted to be in a relationship with her teammate and friend. It worked out fine for Penelope and Luke but in their case Penelope rarely traveled with them for cases, they didn’t see each other as much as Spencer and her did, that sounded like too much trouble.

She had once dated a coworker, back when she worked at the NIJ and it got messy, the whole experience had ended in bad terms and it made work awfully uncomfortable afterwards, she didn’t want that to happen with Spencer. She knew she had a crush on him, but that was everything it was, a crush, she was more interested in keeping him as a friend.

Half an hour later, the doorbell rang and (y/n) went to get their dinner. The younger ones had already finished their cards and even had helped (y/n) with hers by making a draw of their uncle Spencer. They were currently helping clean everything, so they could sit and have dinner.

After having dinner, the Simmons kids went to change into their PJ’s, and (y/n) went to change Rose and put her to bed while Spence offered to do the dishes.

“Auntie (y/n), mom and dad said since it’s not a school night and this is a sleepover we could stay past our bedtime for an hour” David said with pleading eyes.

“Our mom said the same” Henry chimed in.

“I know, I know, both of your parents informed uncle Spence and me about that, what do you wanna do?”

The five of them went quiet but one could see their brains trying to think what to do in that valuable hour.

“We could watch a movie” Henry suggested.

“Yeah, something we all wanna watch” Jake added ruffling Lily’s hair.

“Ok, sounds like a good idea, but I had another suggestion, I thought why don’t you build a fort? You can sleep in there too” (y/n) had this plan since she knew she was babysitting for them, she had already asked Kristy and Matt where they kept blankets and sleeping bags.

All of their faces lit up with happiness as the nodded furiously.

“Could you go grab the blankets? They’re already down here, outside the hall’s closet” The didn’t think twice and ran off to get them.

Spencer watched the whole scene from the kitchen door, seeing (y/n) with kids made him wonder if she had ever considered having them. She was a natural with them, every time the whole team had a get together, at some point she would leave the adults to go and be with them, she would talk to them or play with them, helping the younger ones to the swings. And even in cases where they had to interview kids for some reason she was incredible with them.

(y/n) saw him lost in his thoughts and decided to interrupt him for a moment.

“I was coming to help you with the dishes”

“I’m already done, I was going to take the trash out” He lifted the bag he was holding “I wouldn’t have thought about making a fort, sounds like fun”

“You see, I’m not a regular aunt, I’m a cool aunt” She joked knowing he probably wouldn’t get the reference but she still laughed at her own joke.

All of them spent more than an hour playing on the floor, the kids changed their minds about the way they wanted the fort, the eight of them laughed, joked and had a blast. That was until the tiredness from the day started to be obvious in their eyes. The first one to give up was Michael, followed by Lily and Chloe, as much as Henry, Jake and David tried to fight, they fell asleep not much after their siblings.

(y/n) looked at them with a smile on her face while she went to sit on the couch with the baby monitor in her hand, she had been carrying it with her, afraid Rose was going to wake up.

Spencer sat beside her and sighed, he felt truly happy because of how the evening had turned out, it had been a while since he had laughed so much.

“If you want, you can go home, I can take Henry and Michael to JJ’s” She offered, thinking his sigh was because he was tired, and he was but he wasn’t about to leave his beloved godsons or her, he wanted to be there.

“No, it’s ok, I signed up for the whole night too” He sat beside her.

“Happy Valentine’s day” She handed him the card her and the kids had made for him. When he opened it, he saw a drawing of him, (y/n), Michael, Lily and Chloe. Each drawing was different, surely the kids had done them. And in her handwriting there was a WE LOVE YOU, UNCLE SPENCE, he felt his heart bursting out of his chest, not only (y/n) but this children made him feel extremely lucky to have them in his life.

“I’m glad we both offered to babysit tonight” (y/n) put her head in his shoulder like she had done a few weeks ago on the jet.

“Me too, I had a great time, you were right, I had nothing to worry about, they could’ve ended us but they didn’t” He joked.

“Told you” As she closed her eyes trying to rest for a bit, she heard Rose cry through the baby monitor. Spencer jumped a little at the sound.

“Is she ok?” For the second time that night, there was worry in his voice.

“I’m sure she is, I’m gonna go check on her” (y/n) grabbed the baby monitor and went up to the nursery, she changed her diaper and the crying stopped,but miss Rose was wide awake now, so (y/n) sat in the rocking chair trying to get her to sleep again.

“Go back to sleep, baby girl” She spoke softly to her “Oh Rose, one thing auntie (y/n) is not good at, is lullabies, let me think of a nice song to sing to you” She rocked the baby lightly trying to remember a song that she could sing to her.

Spencer was growing impatient, (y/n) had been up for more than 20 minutes, she had taken the baby monitor so he had no clue what was going on with Rose. He decided to go up and ask if there was anything he could help her with. As he got closer to the nursery he could hear (y/n)’s voice. He wasn’t sure what she was saying until he stopped right outside the nursery, the door was half open so he could now clearly listen to her singing softly to Rose.

“I’ve been trying to do it right, I’ve been living a lonely life, I’ve been sleeping here instead, I’ve been sleeping in my bed, sleeping in my bed, so show me family all the blood that I will bleed, I don’t know where I belong, I don’t know where I went wrong, but I could write a song, I belong with you, you belong with me, you’re my sweetheart, I belong with you, you belong with me you’re my sweet…”

Spencer smiled, he recognized the song, it was from the same band that played the song they had listened on the jet. After that conversation, he had searched the song and had downloaded more songs from that band. He enjoyed their music because it reminded him of (y/n). He silently went back down and decided to wait there for her. He didn’t feel when (y/n) came down a few minutes later and put a blanket around him. She sat on the other couch and let herself fall asleep there.

#cmbingo20 #cmbingo #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #CM Imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #spencer reid imagine #matthew gray gubler

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tirednotflirting · 4 years

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i am missing you more than i should (guess i'm not out of the woods)

i attempted to post this to ao3 and then the page crashed so tumblr gets some rights today i guess.

this is another addition to the maisie thing i’m working on. title and inspo from look at me now by maisie peters

read here on ao3 if you wanna

(it’s kinda emo i apologize)

It’s a cold November night when Luke sees Calum again.

Despite the outdoor temperature being displayed on his phone screen, Luke is warm from the alcohol in his belly and the bodies milling around the bar. He’s ordered a drink to feel natural in his current setting but it’s just soda and lime. He’s stepped into this place to wait for Ashton to come pick him up. He had read one top many horror stories about ride share apps and young drunken people and now always gripes at Luke for not calling him for a pick up on a night out. So after watching all of his friends (though that’s kind of a stretch for the people he frequents clubs with) head off into the night, Luke wandered to the place he currently sits at, feeling drawn to the little dive bar he hasn’t been to in ages and sent Ashton his location.

It’s while he’s waiting for his drink that he remembers why he was drawn to this bar. This is Calum’s place. Luke can’t even think up how many pairs of hands he would need to count the number of times they had stumbled into this place, laughing with their arms around each other while tripping their way up to the bar. It’s close to the complex Calum had been living in while they were still in school. Seeing him here now at the other end of the bar, the glitter in his eyes shining even though they’re not taking a single glance in his direction, makes Luke wonder if Calum’s stuck around this area of town.

Because of course Luke wouldn’t know. Luke hasn’t said a single word to the man in ages, hasn’t seen him in probably a year and a half at this point. (He’s tempted to pull out his dying phone to find the last text messages they exchanged to track the time but he knows Ashton probably deleted their messages during one of the many times he ended up on the other man’s couch with tears raining down his cheeks.)

We want different things. That’s what Calum had told him. Luke wanted to see the world. They were about to graduate, he wanted to see everything and he wanted to see it all with Calum. The idea of settling any part of his still mess of a young life scared the hell out of him. Luke wanted to run but he wanted to do it with Calum’s hand holding his own. Calum was so practical, his mind somehow years ahead of Luke’s. They were graduating, it was time to slow down, he was always trying to explain to the boy he’d laughed with and loved for the last four years. The speeds they were trying to live their lives at during those last few months pretty much started pulling them in opposite directions, Luke supposes. Though that didn’t change how much it hurt the day he returned to his apartment to find a box of his clothes and belongings sitting in front of the door with a little note tucked into the side.

Luke had stuck to his plan. It was only in the last couple of months that he’d returned to the city and found a job more permanent, reconnected with Ashton who had stuck it out in the area for law school. He had seen so many places, so many people, so many pairs of brown eyes that had him nearly chasing after strangers on the other side of the world. He hadn’t dared to try to love someone else but eventually his brain stopped trying to play tricks on him to make him see what he had lost because he couldn’t just slow down. Eventually he didn’t wake every morning expecting to see someone curled up beneath the sheets beside him or to walk into the kitchen to find the ever studious business major drinking from the blue mug with the chip in the handle as he checked the news on his phone

Though from what he could see down the bar, Calum hadn’t been on his own since Luke saw him last. Or at least he wasn’t right now.

Luke watches a laugh escape Calum’s lips while he reaches for his glass on the bartop (always a whiskey man, Luke was never not teasing him for his old man drink preferences). He takes a sip and then raises his brows, his lips moving to ask a question Luke can still hear rolling off his tongue if he thinks back hard enough. He watches the glass get passed along to the blonde sitting in front of him and facing away from Luke. The glittering in Calum’s eye changes some as his bottom lip gets pulled between his teeth while a smirk forms on one side of his face. Luke can see the other man’s shoulders rise slightly in response to taking the sip and he wonders if the scrunched up face he used to pull when sipping Calum’s liquor is anything like this new man’s. He figures it must be as Calum’s face softens in a still vaguely familiar way and Luke watches him lean forward to press a kiss to the blonde’s cheek while a hand lifts to cover the other.

Luke squeezes his eyes shut and forces his face away from the couple. He takes a sip of his soda before shrugging his denim jacket from his arms, the bar suddenly feeling far too warm. He’s reaching for his phone in the pocket of his jacket, ready to send Ashton an SOS to get him to hurry along, when a soft voice behind him nearly throws him to the opposite side of the bar. “Luke?”

He jumps as he spins in the stool he’s seating in, Luke’s eyes suddenly meeting the ones he’s been searching for in every corner of the world. He used to spend hours lying awake thinking about this exact moment, about what it would be like to speak again for the first time with his lost great love. (If Ashton were able to hear him thinking that he would scold Luke for being so dramatic. You’re literally 24. Calm down, Luke.) “Hi, Calum,” he returns, praying his voice isn’t as shaky as it feels. The name feels foreign on his tongue and he can’t tell if he’s thankful for that or not.

“How’re you doing, man?” Calum asks, a small smile playing at his lips. “It’s wild to see you in here, not gonna lie. Thought you were still off somewhere with your wanderlust.”

Luke tries to be as subtle as he can as he reaches for his wrist to pinch himself since he’s not entirely sure he believes this moment to be real. He coughs and shakes himself out of his daze. He’s got to be an adult about all of this, he’s a grown up now. “Yeah, I moved back a couple months ago. Was starting to really stress out Mom with the whole travel thing. I’ve moved in with Ashton, if you remember him? He helped me get this admin job at the law firm he’s interning at.”

“Of course I remember Ash!” Calum beams. Luke wonders if he’s also playing at being cool but then he remembers that Calum actually had the guts to walk over to him so maybe this is just a part of being settled down. “Happy for you, Luke. Sounds like a good set up.”

Luke ignores the nostalgia threatening to cloud up his mind at the sound of his name falling from Calum’s lips a second time. “You still working for Donny then?”

“I am! He gave me like, a month after grad to chill before I got back to my old desk with a stack two feet high of files,” Calum laughs and Luke finds himself doing the same. Calum’s internship boss had always been fond of them together. Donny had once helped Luke get flowers delivered for their third anniversary. He was a good guy. “Actually, just got promoted to Managing Financial Advisor earlier this week. Was here, uh, celebrating tonight wit-”

“Hey Cal, thought I lost you there.”

The blonde Luke had only seen the back of before steps into view, his hand dropping to Calum’s back. He’s just barely shorter than Calum, though that’s likely due to the boots the latter is wearing. His eyes are wide and a pale green, like leaves in early spring. Luke wants to hate him but he can’t. This guy looks pretty nice, unfortunately.

“Sorry, love,” Calum replies softly, his hand lifting subconsciously to push hair from the other man’s eyes. It’s an action Luke remembers fondly (and somewhat painfully, if he’s being honest with himself). “Found a familiar face. Michael, this is Luke. Luke, this is Michael.”

Michael’s eyes widen just the slightest bit. Luke isn’t surprised. He can basically guarantee that he’s sitting right at the top of Calum’s ex-boyfriends to discuss list. They spent nearly all of undergrad together. If Michael’s been around for even a little bit it makes sense that he’s heard about Luke. “Nice to meet you, mate.”

“Yeah, you too.” Luke accepts the hand being offered to shake. The whole situation feels way too formal but also dazed. Though Luke is still drunk and there’s way too many memories dancing through his mind of nights out with Calum and nights in with Calum and Calum Calum Calum.

“Well,” Calum starts, his hand moving to rest lower against Michael’s back. “Our Uber is here but I’m glad I saw you Luke. Take care of yourself.”

Luke nods and wishes them both the same in a small voice while they wander away from him. He can’t hear it but based on the worried look he can see on Michael’s face as they head for the door and the way he wraps his arm more firmly around Calum’s waist, Luke knows he wasn’t the only one faking a brave face.

(He allows himself a moment to give into memory then as he thinks back on one of the last times he was headed out of this bar with Calum. It was early February, just a week and change past Calum’s birthday. The air is cold enough to see their breaths as they giggle and bumble about their new courses. Calum keeps lifting Luke’s hands between his own to blow warm air onto them to keep them warm as they head in the direction of his apartment.

When they finally make it up to the third floor and through Calum’s door, they both kick off their boots. Luke’s gone for his easier to remove ones so he has a moment to lean against the door while laughing as Calum pulls at the laces of his Docs. Once removed, Calum steps over to Luke, his arms looping around his waist while Luke’s drop to hang over his shoulders. Their laughter dies out as they sway back and forth slightly in the entryway.

“God, I love you,” Luke sighs as he drops his forehead to Calum’s. “Never want to stop loving you.”

“Please don’t.” Calum laughs gently before turning his head so their lips press together.

Whether it's seconds or hours that they stand there kissing while holding each other in the dull entryway light, Luke doesn’t know. He doesn’t care. All that matters is that Calum never lets go.)

Luke’s phone buzzes on the bartop, a text from Ashton appearing to alert him that he’s waiting in the lot out front. Luke tips back the last of his soda and shouts a thank you to the bartender. He pulls on his jacket and heads in the direction of the door.

He turns for a moment before reaching to push through back out into the cold. He glances around the open room, quick moments of memories playing out in front of him from the years before. He sighs and pulls himself out of it again.

Maybe it’s time to find a new spot to land.

#cake #cake fic #also some malum #maisie series #i think i literally apologized when speaking w meg yesterday bc i was like 'i don't wanna be mean to cake but also'#maisie posting on insta right as i type these tags omfg

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cakesunflower · 5 years

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Ghost of You [L.H.] // Youngblood Song Fic Series

A/N: yeeet i started these youngblood song fics a WHILE ago when the album first came out and i got inspo to write this one. it’s angsty, mentions of death, so read with caution!

All Installations: Youngblood [C.H.] | Want You Back [L.H.] | Lie To Me [L.H.] | Better Man [C.H.] | Monster Among Men [C.H.]

Ghost of You [L.H.]—If I can dream long enough, you’d tell me I’ll be just fine.

He needed a smaller bed.

That’s the first thought that seemed to pop in his mind when he woke in the morning, continuous for the past few days. That he needed a new bed, because the one he had right now was too big. It was meant for two, and with it only being him in the house now, what was the need for a king sized bed? There was more space than Luke knew what to do with. He always kept to his side, not wanting to mess up the vacant space next to him, as if the body that’s meant to be there would someday return to claim it back. Even though he knew that couldn’t be further from the truth. The left side of his bed would remain cold without the warm of another body, and Luke was only beginning to accept that.

He hated mornings. Truthfully, he hated every part of the day, but mornings were always the worst. Because there was this moment, just a brief moment from when he opened his eyes and crawled out of slumber, where the universe cruelly tricked him into thinking that everything was okay. That there wasn’t a hole in the middle of his heart and that breathing was the easiest thing to do. But every day, that small moment of peace where he could finally breathe was violently snatched away by the claws of reality, and everything was crashing down on him, suffocating him, reminding him that nothing was okay and he fucking hated the world he lived in.

Turning his head to the left, Luke gazed at the other side of the bed, like he’d been doing for the countless mornings. He took in how that side was perfectly kempt, untouched by him even in his slumber, no wrinkles in the pillows or sheets. That side hadn’t been slept in, and as every day passed by, Luke knew her scent was gradually disappearing into nothingness. Soon enough, he wouldn’t be able to smell her scent that made him dizzy with happiness, that her clothes in the closet would soon be rid of that same scent as well.

Soon enough, her smell would die with her, and all that’s left would be her belongings Luke refused to get rid of.

Pulling himself out of bed was only the first obstacle he struggled with when he woke up—making it through the rest of day was a challenge in itself. And then going to sleep and doing it all over again. . . Luke often wondered what was the point. Why did living matter when all he wanted to do was be with her?

She came into his dreams frequently. She’d arrive, with her bright smile and kind eyes, and sit with him. He could feel his heart hurt every time, wondering how powerful some dreams could be if he could feel the physical effects of it in his chest. And he’d talk to her, mourn over how unfair it was, how she didn’t deserve such an abrupt end. He’d cry to her, waking up to wet cheeks more often than not, about how much he missed her, how life without her was a life without color and taste and sense.

And, God, when she’d reply, she’d sound so real. Like she was right there, real and touchable and not just a figment of his grieving subconscious. She would tell him, in that gentle and loving voice Luke missed so much, watching videos he had of her just to be able to hear her, that he would be just fine. That time would pass and one day the sun would rise and Luke would be fine.

He’d ask her, humorlessly laughing through eyes burning with tears, “How am I going to be fine if you’re not there?”

Every time, right before she would answer, he’d wake up, and the answer would be lost to him. Luke doubted that there even was an answer to begin with.

There wasn’t a room in the house that didn’t remind Luke of her. How could there be, with them living together for two years? Her vanity was still packed with her things, the shelf in the shower holding her shampoo and conditioner and bodywash, the cup on the sink containing her toothbrush keeping his company. The dining room contained a colorful, funky piece of modern art that she absolutely fell in love with and demanded they buy—Luke always thought it was a bit of an eyesore but she loved it and he loved her so up it went. The living room couch had her favorite dark purple throw draped over it, something they’d cuddle under during movie nights or naps on the couch. The drying rack next to the sink on the kitchen had her her favorite coffee mug on it, placed there by her the last time she used it and untouched, a red lipstick stain forever on the rim that never seemed to wash off.

She was everywhere. But she also wasn’t.

Luke’s eyes were on the few succulents she had placed on the windowsill at the kitchen sink, hands bracing himself on the counter as he could see a few of them drying up. He’d have to water them soon. He didn’t even register the sound of the front door opening, followed by a couple of pairs of footsteps. Didn’t even flinch when Ashton’s voice gently, yet firmly, stated, “Today’s the day, Luke.”

He didn’t move, vacant eyes on the plants in front of him, broad shoulders hunched and golden curls framing his unshaven face. He knew exactly what his friends were here for, and Luke knew for a fact he wasn’t prepared.

“You know she’d want you to do this, mate,” Calum spoke up next, his naturally quiet voice accompanied by a tender undertone Luke had heard more of lately than he had the entire time he’d known Calum.

“We don’t know what she’d want.” Luke’s scratchy voice was hollow, the sound a mere extension of the emptiness he felt. He kept looking at the plant, but his eyes were unfocused. Even when he spoke, he sounded far away, unable to situate himself in the present. His adam’s apple bobbed in his throat, feeling as though he hadn’t drank water in days. Maybe he hadn’t. He couldn’t remember.

“Yes, we do,” Michael sounded. “Because we knew her. You knew her, Luke. She was always donating her things to Goodwill. She’d want them to find a new home.”

This was their home. Her things were meant to belong here, with her and with him, together. But she was gone, and it wasn’t like Luke had any use of her clothes rather than running his fingers down the fabric and remembering each piece from when and where she’d worn it. He recalled them all; how was he supposed to say goodbye to them?

When Luke didn’t move, Ashton sighed. “It’s been almost six months, Luke. Please.”

Six months. It had been six fucking months since the love of his life left him, but it still felt as though it had happened in the last six minutes. His mind was a home for thoughts only ever surrounding her, the tightness in his chest having never let up, making it hard for him to breathe every second. How had six months already passed? How had he made it through that long without seeing her smile or hearing her laugh or touching her soft skin? How had he gone without late night runs to McDonalds, without her asking him to play the piano for her, without feeling the graze of her nails against his scalp when she ran her fingers through his curls, and feeling the warmth of her body when she wrapped her legs around his hips and clung to him in a hug that left Luke feeling like the most loved person in the world?

How was he supposed to make it through the rest of his life without any of that?

Somehow, his three best friends managed to get him back to the bedroom, and Luke ignored the looks they gave each other at the sight of him when he finally looked at him. He figured they’d be used to his appearance by now. Unshaven, deep and purple bags under blue eyes vacant of their usual brightness, chapped lips. The only positive thing about Luke was that the boys were always coming around and making sure he was eating and showering, knowing that if they truly left Luke to his own devices, who wouldn’t give a shit about taking care of himself.

They were scared for their best friend, and were ready to help however they could for however long he needed them to.

What he was going through, none of them could understand. But they’d be damned if they didn’t help him.

Luke sat on the edge of the bed, broad shoulders dropped and a blank look on his sleep deprived face as he watched Michael pull open the closet door in front of him; his clothes on the right, hers on the left, untouched with her shoes right underneath.

It sounded distant, muffled, but Luke could hear his heart beginning to pick up its pace out of nowhere. He could feel his throat beginning to tight as Michael switched on the closet light, could feel it in his ears along with the pit of his stomach twisting so tightly, so fiercely, that it knocked what little breath he inhaled right out of his lungs, and suddenly Luke was on his feet.

“No,” he croaked out, catching his friends’ attention, their worried and startled gaze at the tall blonde. But Luke stared ahead at the closet, eyes wide and welling as he began shaking his head, curls fluttering. “No. I’m not doin’ this. No.”

They instantly picked up on the unsteady way in which he spoke, hoarse voice trembling just as his broad shoulders did, and before anyone could say anything, Luke was making his way out of the room. He wasn’t going to do this. He couldn’t do this. Sit there and sort through her things to put into boxes and give away? To have someone live in clothes that were meant for her? Luke fucking refused.

Giving away her clothes and shoes was like giving her away and Luke hadn’t yet come to terms with that.

He didn’t even make it halfway down the hallway when he felt a firm grip on his shoulder, stopping him right in his tracks as Ashton spoke up, “Luke, stop. Come back.”

“No!” Luke roughly shrugged Ashton’s hand off, turning around to glare at one of his best friends, his chest sinking with a deep breath that stung when he exhaled. The distress on Luke’s face was obvious, eyebrows furrowed and dull eyes widened in desperation. “I’m not gonna sit there and watch you pack up all of the memories I have with her and give ’em to someone else. I’m not—”

“That’s not what we’re doing, mate,” Ashton instantly cut in, wanting to derail that train of thought before it got even worse under Luke’s grieving state of mind. His expression softened, worried hazel eyes flickering between tearful blue ones. “No one can ever take away your memories with her; those are going to live with you forever. What you had with her will always be with you, nothing can change that. We’re just giving her clothes and shoes to those who’re in need of them, yeah?” Ashton placed a tentative hand on Luke’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze as the younger boy looked at him hesitantly, scaredly. He looked so young, so tired, and Ashton’s heart ached. It ached for Luke and it ached for the friend they all lost too fucking soon. Luke squeezed his eyes shut, chapped lips pressed together as he tried to force himself to see things Ashton’s way. The drummer’s free hand went to the back of Luke’s head, pressing their foreheads together as Ashton encouraged him quietly, “Baby steps, okay? We’ll help you, Luke. You know we will.”

Luke nodded against Ashton’s head, and with an encouraging hand on Luke’s back Ashton guided him back to the bedroom where Michael and Calum were waiting, a few empty boxes already waiting.

Swallowing the thick lump in his throat seemed damn near impossible, nearly choking on his inability to do so as he stepped in front of the closet. Luke gazed at the clothing hanging there, every single thing in there worn by her. Her favorite navy blue and black plaid pants that she said were Calum’s inspiration for buying his own green and black ones, the only winter coat she owned because they lived in Los Angeles and she rarely had the need for one unless she traveled to colder states or countries, her worn out Nikes she only used when she and Luke went hiking on the canyon. Each item had a memory attached to it, whether it be significant or not, and having to say goodbye to them was agonizing.

Nowhere near as losing her was, though. Luke wasn’t sure how much of this he could take.

Bile rose in his throat almost every time he pulled something out from the closet to give away, stomach churning uneasily as his fingers grazed against the material of each piece and he noticed her side emptying out gradually. Luke sat on the floor at the closet, working in silence with the boys, moving slowly and reluctantly as his hands pushed around a few of her shoe boxes.

The lid of one of the boxes slid off, and instead of containing a pair of shoes, Luke caught sight of a shirt. Eyebrows furrowing he pulled it out and splayed it out in front of him, breath hitching at the sight of it.

It was one of her shirts, old and worn with a few rips in it, a graphic tee he remembered her saying she got from Hot Topic. It was a shirt that meant so much to her, yet she always kept hidden, a reminder of who she was and how far she had come. The shirt itself wasn’t special, just an old Led Zeppelin shirt she bought, but it was the meaning behind it; a shirt she’d worn the day she left home. Her departure had been a mix of her literally running out, along with her parents kicking her out from under their roof, and she had left with just the clothes on her back along with a backpack and a duffel. She’d never been one to get along with her parents, too many differences in beliefs and lifestyles always clashing, until one day she left.

It had hurt her, Luke remembered her telling him, that they’d so quickly let her go without a fight. But she had made it on her own. She used that hurt and pushed herself forward, and she had been happy with what she came to have. She was content.

She was gone.

“Is that a donation?”

Luke looked up, eyes drifting to Calum, who was looking at his blue eyed friend curiously. Luke’s grip tightened on the shirt, pulling it onto his lap as he looked down at it. “No,” he answered, throat working. “No, this one stays.”

It was about half an hour later when Luke excused himself, pushing himself up from the ground and leaving the room, his three best friends staring after him in quiet worry. They sat on the floor of his bedroom, looking at one another before their gazes drifted to the boxes they were filling up with her belongings. Despite knowing the clothes would be going to those in need, the three of them still felt wrong about it. As if they were packing up someone’s items who was gonna come back and ask for them.

But she wasn’t. They knew that. Luke knew that. No one wanted to accept it.

“How long do you think he’s gonna stay like this?” Michael asked quietly, his concern for their youngest bandmate evident in his tone.

Calum picked at his nails in his lap, heart heavy as he mumbled, “Grief doesn’t really have a fixed time period, does it? Who knows?”

They sat in solemn silence for a little while, until they each started wondering where Luke had gone off to. Standing up, the three men walked out of the room and headed down the stairs, the house in an eerie silence that didn’t settle well with any of them. Until they reached the living room, freezing at the sight in front of them, unsure of what to do.

Because there Luke was, headphones in his ear connecting to what was probably his phone buried in the pocket of his sweatpants, in the middle of the living room with his eyes closed as he lazily swayed to whatever he was listening to. In his hand was a bottle of vodka, half empty, and no one knew if it had already been like that or if Luke had just popped open a new bottle and already drank that much out of it. He was already a lightweight, a surprise for someone his size, and drinking that much hard liquor in a short amount of time was probably already having its effects on him.

The sight would have been amusing, almost, if it wasn’t so fucking heartbreaking.

There was just something about Luke dancing so gracelessly around his living room, body swaying lazily with eyes shut while he took big swigs of the vodka he was holding for dear life. He moved with his head tilted back, not dancing with an invisible partner, lost in whatever he was listening to. Luke was clumsy at times, everyone knew, but when he was on stage there was air of confidence around him; he owned every inch of the stage, even when he wasn’t playing the guitar and was instead just holding a mic and moving around the stage like he belonged up there. Because he did. When the music was playing, Luke was damn near danced on stage in a way that mesmerized everyone watching.

But this right here, losing himself in what was playing in his ears and accompanying it with liquor that would only make him feel like shit later, this wasn’t a sight to be seen. This was a man trying to find comfort in a bottle and music. And while the latter was fine, the boys couldn’t stand by and let him find the end of that container.

Luke promptly passed out after the bottle was taken away from him. And after he threw up because he drank nearly an entire handle on an empty stomach. Michael helped him brush his teeth before they got him into bed, and Luke had been just barely coherent enough to drunkenly, sleepily, mumble, “Not her side.”

They understood, gently placing him down on the right side of the bed, eyes hauntingly drifting to the side of the bed she used to occupy. That she’d never occupy.

When Luke slept, he dreamed. Like always, she showed up, and Luke’s heart began hurting, eyebrows furrowing in his sleep, and as Calum sat at his bedside, his fingers gently touched Luke’s forehead, hoping to smooth out the troubles the blonde was displaying. But the gesture as lost on Luke, of course, deep in his slumber, trembling at her arrival.

She smiled, beautiful and breathtaking, sitting with her legs crossed in front of him as she took his hands in hers. Her fingers felt dainty against him, felt real. “I’m proud of you for listening to the boys. It’s a good step in moving forward, Lu.” Then, she repeated the same sentiment she always did, giving his hands a squeeze, eyes kind. “I told you—you’ll be just fine.”

His heart felt heavy in his chest, like it always did, making it difficult for him to breathe. Luke was aware that none of this was real, that this was just a creation of his mourning subconscious, hoping to make things just a tiny bit easier for him, despite the pain he woke up in every time. It was agonizing, waking up and remembering all he had left of her were some of her things, their memories, and her visits in his dreams. And while touching her in his dreams felt as real as touching her in real life, it was still unfulfilling. It still left him yearning for more, left him welcoming tears over a love lost too soon.

“How can you keep saying that?” Luke found himself asking her with a shake of his head, feeling the warm tears wet his cheeks, practically feeling the salt on his lips as he gazed at her. “How am I going to be fine if all I’ve got left are pictures and memories and your ghost visiting me in my dreams?”

Her expression softened, her smile as warm as her eyes that were glassy with tears of her own, bringing their joined hands to her chest as she spoke tenderly, breathily, “Because we had a great love, Lu. But your epic love is with those boys who would do anything for you. They’re the ones who will help you through this, baby. But only if you let them, yeah? So let them. For me and for you. Don’t lose yourself just because you lost me.”

Luke stared at her, stunned into silence, looking at her through blurred vision due to the tears that had gathered. She answered. For the first time, he finally got an answer, and all Luke could do was sit and stare. How many nights did he spend asking her that question, and how many mornings did he wake thinking there was no possible answer?

He knew, of course, she was just a figment of his imagination; an extension of his subconscious. But he needed her to be the one to give him the push he needed—the push he knew she would want him to get. She had been his partner, his love, and no doubt Luke had been utterly lost without her. No doubt had he stopped functioning like a normal fucking human being, feeling as though he’d completely lost a part of him that helped him live.

Of course she would be the face that pushed him into wanting to get better. She wasn’t the only one, though, as Luke thought of his three best friends, who’d continuously come to check on him or stay in his home in case he needed them. His three best friends who were constant rocks during the past six months, when he didn’t have the energy to shower or eat or get out of bed but they came and opened the blinds and made the food and got the shower ready for him. They refused to let him go through this alone.

She was right. A love like that was something Luke needed to hold onto. One had already been ripped from him—how could he possibly let another go?

He lost himself when he lost her, and while it was unimaginably painful to accept that he couldn’t get her back, he could damn well be the man she had fallen in love with. A part of Luke knew that the hole she left wouldn’t ever be fully filled, an emptiness left in him that he would always feel no matter how much time had passed. There would be nights where he’d cry for the woman he lost and days where he’d reminisce how amazing his life was with her in it. Maybe he’ll even sleep on her side of the bed one day. Maybe there will be a day where he can think about her without feeling like the world was crashing down on him, suffocating him.

He’d wake up one morning, completely aware that she was gone, and he’d accept it. Luke knew the hurt would never go away, but he’d learn to cope. He would learn to move on.

He wouldn’t be the same without her, but he could damn near try to be.

tags: @crownedbyluke @irwinkitten @glitterprincelu @softforcal @hotmessmichael @valentinelrh @meetashthere @astroashtonio @calumh-excess @bitchinbabylon @captain-what-is-going-on @inlovehoodx @grittyisathot @old-zeppelin-shirt @all-i-want-is2b-loved-by-you @lipstickstainfading @cliffordcntrl @hereforlukescruff @calistheloml @hearts-to-the-sky @monsteramongmikey @flannelpunkcalum @invisiblexcth @empathycth @roselukes @kinglycalum @heavenlyhemminqs @slimthicccal @ohhmuke @ghostofch @fucking5sos @xhaileyreneex @rosecoloredash @calteahood @paqueretteash @5secondssofssummer @soulmatecashton @babygirlcashton @mysteriouslycali @bloodlinecal @sublimehood @calntynes

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nowat-shesdaylight · 4 years

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𝗔𝗡𝗦𝗪𝗘𝗥 𝟭𝟬 𝗤𝗨𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦 & 𝗔𝗗𝗗 𝟭𝟬 𝗕𝗟𝗢𝗚𝗦 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗪𝗔𝗡𝗡𝗔 𝗞𝗡𝗢𝗪 𝗕𝗘𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥 .

NICKNAME : lissa STAR SIGN : aries HEIGHT : 5′6 FAVOURITE MUSIC ARTIST : taylor swift, the jonas brothers, zac brown band, thomas rhett, kelsea ballerini, kane brown, luke combs, florida-georgia line, and that’s who i’ve been listening to a lot recently LAST TV SHOW YOU WATCHED : the office WHAT KIND OF STUFF DO YOU POST : replies, aesthetic pictures, character study things, ooc shit posts, wishlist stuff DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER BLOGS : there’s this blog, my mutli muse ( @sororanimarum ), my edits blog ( @itsgclden ), and my memes blog ( @lissasmemes ); the latter two i don’t go on that much except when the inspo strikes. WHY DID YOU CHOOSE YOUR URL : rapunzel is DAYLIGHT and i stand by that. HOGWARTS HOUSE : hufflepuff POKEMON TEAM : pikachu FAVOURITE COLOUR : i like pink!!! HOW MANY BLANKETS DO YOU SLEEP WITH : two, then there’s my weighted blanket and a throw blanket.

tagged by: i stole this from @shespied tagging: say i tagged u!!!!

#000 / constantly thinking about chicken parm ⟶ mun things.

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pagesuponstpages · 6 years

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waiting for you

inspo: songfic of waiting for you by the aces

word count: +8.8k

synopsis: she’s always been close with luke, best friends even. and when feelings are realized does she find out that maybe their friendship had always been a little more than ‘just friends.’

a/n: sorry if my capitalization doesn’t make sense. also this kinda got out of hand, thus being so long. also the last line is kinda eh but yeah, hope you enjoy

Ping! Ping!

She cracked one of her eyes open, blindly grabbing for her phone.

Bzzt Bzzt

Remember the words you told me, love me till the day I die.

Y/N finally caught her phone, clicking the home button to turn it on, which also shut off the ringer.

“Fucking shit,” she yelped as the white light nearly blinded her eyes. After turning down the brightness to a considerable amount, she saw the notifications pop up, one after another.

lu: I’m having one of those moments lu: I can’t sleep (2) missed calls from lu cal-pal: did u pick up luke? cal-pal: he’s interrupting my sleep (2) missed calls from sumo smash ash mikey-crikey: please tell you’re with him sumo smash ash: u up mikey-crikey: I don’t need more late night phone calls sumo smash ash: pls talk to luke sumo smash ash: I need my sleep mikey-crikey: he scared the daylights out of southy and crys (1) missed call from cal-pal lu: I’m sorry if I woke u up

She rolled her eyes, reading the texts, before unlocking her phone and replying back.

y/n: no but I guess I will now cal-pal: thank god, bless your soul y/n: overdramatic ass. I’m getting up now cal-pal: oke gn :) y/n: gn u dork

y/n: lazy hoe sumo smash ash: wOW OKAY sumo smash ash: but please? sumo smash ash: he somehow calms down the best with you y/n: fiiiiiine sumo smash ash: :D <3 y/n: go to sleep then! sumo smash ash: -.- zzzz

y/n: nope mikey-crikey: please? y/n: getting up and putting my jacket on mikey-crikey: you’re a lifesaver y/n: the story of my life mikey-crikey: love youuuu

“Hello?”

“Hey, are you at your place?” she said, grabbing a sweatshirt from the chair next to her closet that was probably either Calum’s or Luke’s.

“Yeah, why?” Luke replied. She slipped on the two sleeves while the phone was tucked between her ear and shoulder.

“I saw your texts, I’ll be there in 10 and be ready to leave.” She ended the call before he got another word in. She grabbed her wallet and keys and slipped on a pair of mustard-yellow vans, that Mikey called atrocious and Calum called vile but she loved them to death. She went out the door, locking up behind her and walked down the 15 or some steps down from her floor to the street front, where her car was parked. Once she started the ignition and warmed up the car, while fiddling with her phone trying to find her calming playlist, she pulled out from the curb, towards the direction of Luke’s place. Y/N had been there so many times, that the drive from hers to his was muscle memory, thus her mind drifting off, just enough that her eyes were on the road, but not focusing on where she was going.

Before she knew it, she was pulling up the curb right outside his place.

y/n: i’m right outside your windowwww lu: wait lu: what?? lu: oh

She saw his head peek out the window, grinning widely at her, then she assumed he ran downstairs, a few seconds bursting out the door. He was clad in a 5SOS III hoodie and grey sweats, the hood up, which was mostly covering his curls that were spilling out from the sides.

“Y/N, you didn’t have to do this,” Luke said, settling in shotgun. She rolled her eyes, as she shifted the gears from park to drive.

“What, no hello? No ‘early morning to you’?” she teased. His laughter filled the car, warming her more than the hoodie that she was wearing.

“Top of the mornin’ to ya’, lassie,” he then said, in the best Scottish accent that Luke could muster. Which wasn't the greatest to be fair. Y/N giggled, while flicking on the turn signal to get onto the main road.

“Alrighty matey,” she replied, trying to keep a straight face.

“What, was that the best you can do?” he retorted, his thick accent becoming more prominent.

“I tried okay!” She slapped his knee, all the while staring at him cross-eyed and tongue sticking out.

“Hey! Eyes on the road!”

“Alright dad.” That prompted a shove, which Y/N responded with the car shifting to the left, nearly going into the other lane.

“Staahp it,” he groaned, leaning back in his seat.

It was quiet in the car after that, minus the music playing quietly in the background. There were barely any other cars on the road, just them speeding down the road with the windows creaked open giving a light breeze in the car.

“What playlist is this?” Luke finally said, as the song switched from Coldplay’s Fix You to Landslide by Fleetwood Mac.

“It’s my chill playlist.” They would often share music with each other, from being of their time, as they made playlists on spotify with titles that were either one-worded or twenty, to them burning CDs for each other. Thankfully, Y/N’s car still had a CD player, which she would play Luke’s mixes on the way to work.

Luke grabbed her phone that was docked next to the dashboard, where it was placed for easy access if she needs to see it for navigation or messages while driving.

“I’m not telling you the code,” she said, watching him try to unlock it in the corner of her eyes.

“That’s alright,” he said, swiping up on the screen and placing the phone in front of her face for a couple seconds before the device was unlocked.

“Hey!” she said, which earned him another smack, this time on the shoulder.

“Oww, you hurt me.”

“That’s what you get for abusing phone privileges. And now I’m not loving that function anymore, Apple,” she grumbled, as the car slowly stopped for the red light.

Luke flicked through her phone, reading through the list of songs in the playlist currently playing in the car.

“Kacey Musgraves, Fleetwood Mac, George Ezra,” he mumbled, “and 5 Seconds of Summer?!” She rolled her eyes but watched him read through her playlist amusedly.

“Yeah heard of them? They’re alright but they have some tunes.” This prompted another shove.

“Oi! Stop hitting the driver!” He stuck out a tongue at her, which she nearly missed as the light turned green. To annoy Luke even more, she sped up the car, accelerating the car as quick as she could to the speed limit of 40 mph.

“Hey!” She glanced in the rearview mirror, checking to see if there were any cars nearby, which there weren’t. Thus her slamming the brakes, careening Luke forward and her phone smacking on the dash in front of him.

“I regret ever getting in the car with you.” Luke groaned, rubbing his head which also received casualty during the sudden stop.

“But you still love me.” He watched her, hands loosely gripping the wheel and hair blowing in the breeze, as they continued down the road.

“Yeah,” he breathed out, “I do.”

Antics quieted down after that, and it just became the music and the road ahead of them. Y/N noticed Luke drifting off, as she was telling him a story of an incident that happened at work, right when she was getting into how her coworker, Brooke broke the coffee machine. She smiled at him, as she heard his soft breaths, his chest rising then sinking in slumber. Y/N turned at the next light, slowly circling back to Luke’s place.

Once she pulled up at the same spot from a couple of hours ago, she shut off the car, the music cutting out as well. He was still asleep, thankfully. Y/N knew that the guys were pulling in the extra hours on their next album, even to the point of not sleeping regularly, which worried her. So she was happy to help any band member calm down and relax in the comfort of her car, which also happened to be her favorite thing: driving down the road in the dead of the night, with quiet conversation and her trusty playlist to accompany her and the other passenger.

She climbed out of the car, shutting the door silently as she could. Then Y/N walked to the other side, opened the door, and reached over the tall blonde boy to unclip his seatbelt. Then she shifted him, so his legs were hanging out the door and one arm over her shoulder. She would’ve tried to fully carry him but considering that Luke was at least seven inches taller than her, she didn’t even bother. Thankfully, despite him still drifting in slumber, his legs cooperated with her, taking steps to the door. She kicked her car door behind her and clicked the fob to lock it, before finding Luke’s house key on her keychain.

“Okay work with me here,” she whispered, once they got into his place. Y/N sat him down on the couch, slipping off his shoes and placed them by the door next to hers. She then pulled him off the couch, having him leaning on her again as they walked slowly to his bedroom. She assumed that Luke was somewhere in between consciousness and sleep as he held her arm, right as she was walking away from his bed, in which she tucked him into moments before.

“Stay with me,” he mumbled, while tugging her back towards the bed. Y/N weighed the options, thinking when she needed to get up for work that would give enough time for her to get back to her place and change in time.

“Okay,” Y/N decided. She opened the clock app on her phone, pressing the alarm for 7:45 am and 8 am before plugging her phone in Luke’s phone charger next to his bed. Then Y/N untied her hair from a half ponytail, putting the hairband next to her phone, wallet, and keys on the bedside table. She slid into bed, right next to Luke, who wiggled a bit away from her to make room, and once her head hit the pillow, his arms and legs wrapped around her frame, warming her enough to immediately drift off to sleep.

Why you acting like a stranger, when we do this every night.

Y/N’s eyes opened, before groaning. She was exhausted due to not going to bed early enough, much less considering her late night/early morning drive with Luke. Speaking of Luke, she briefly forgot where she was, until a large form curled around her shifted to slap her phone off the bedside table, which she assumed Luke hoped would shut off the alarm. Alas, no.

You only ever wanna love me after midnight.

She peered over the bed, looking for where her phone was. Surprisingly, it was still plugged in. So, Y/N reached out, trying to grab the phone on the ground whilst still in bed. But no, the universe didn’t want to give her all the pleasures in life.

Thuump!

“Owww,” she groaned. She quickly unlocked her phone, this time thanking the apple gods for facial recognition and shut off both of her alarms that were blaring 5SOS music.

“The funniest part of that was not the music but you falling off the bed.” She turned around, to see Luke smiling, his eyes half open and his voice scratchy.

“Shut up Lu,” she groaned, rubbing her side and hoping that a bruise won’t form there. She checked the time on her phone, cursing. “Gonna be late!” She stood up, shoving her items into the hoodie’s front pocket and tied up her hair into a floppy bun.

“Goodbye hug?” Luke said, holding his arms out. She sighed, watching this adorable man-child curled up in bed. What she would give to have another hour, heck even fifteen more minutes.

“You dork,” she said, as she put one knee on the bed, balancing herself before Luke nearly swallowed her with his arms.

“Can’t you stay longer? It was comfy with you.”

“I cannot Lucas. Also being your human teddy bear was too hot, especially when the human teddy bear is wearing sweats.” He chuckled, then retracted his arms, snuggling back under the covers.

“It was hot last night,” he agreed. The fact that both of them were wearing sweats under the comforter, not even considering that Luke was a human space heater, had Y/N slightly sweaty when she got out of bed. She walked out of the bedroom, spying a block of post-its next to a mason jar full of colored sharpies by the jar. Y/N wasn’t surprised.

After first meeting the guys and getting to know them, whenever she visited their apartments, she noticed that there were random places where there was stationary and writing utensils, post-its and sharpies being preferred the most. Calum explained to her one day that when they have random bouts of inspiration, the boys would quickly scrawl it down, trying not to forget anything. Or other times, they would leave little notes or drawings to each other before they would leave each other’s places. Some notes being thoughtful and lovely and others with crude jokes with badly drawn stick figures.

Finished with her sticky note that one was placed on the fridge and the other on the counter and putting on her shoes, she unlocked the door.

“Bye Lucas!” she yelled into the house, then shutting the door and locking up behind her with her set of spare keys, before Luke could even respond.

When Luke got up, about an hour or two later after Y/N left, he saw something neon pink in the corner of his eye once he walked into the kitchen.

hello lucas bobby hemmo hope u had a decent night of sleep and I was happy to help (you were heavy to carry when asleep!!) don’t forget to eat something before going into the studio and do the guys a favor and shower before too!!! love ya u man child your temporary uber driver

He grinned, reading the message while waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing his morning cup. After getting out a piece of bread that he immediately put in the toaster and two boiled eggs from the fridge, he saw her second message, this time on a neon green post-it.

aaayyee ohhh hemmo1996 (never letting that go) also if you dented my phone case or cracked my phone when you smacked my phone to the ground with your humango hands I will send u the bill (also I suggest wearing the plaid pants and black high tops, it’s a look and gunsta be ‘chilly’ today!!) don’t understand you people thinking that 55 degrees is cold give Pet my best, I didn’t get to see her :(((( I bet ur eating those nasty-ass boiled eggs for breakfast ~love ya~ ;D y/n

He scoffed, biting into one boiled egg and taking a sip of his coffee. He heard the pitter-patter of Petunia’s feet on the hardwood.

“Hey Pig,” he cooed, kneeling down to rub her head. “Y/N says hello and is sorry for leaving so early.” She grunted in response, then trudged away from him to her food bowl, lapping up the water.

“Yeah, I wish she stayed too.”

Luke stood up and opened the cupboard where all of Petunia’s food, snacks and treats were housed. He grabbed the correct plastic jug, popped open the lid and used the lid which was dipped enough to indicate how much dog food to give per meal, then poured it into her bowl. He shut the jug and placed it next to the ziplock bag of homemade treats that Y/N made two weeks ago. Petunia happily started eating as he finished his own breakfast, toast now finished with butter and vegemite.

“Pet, I just-” he said, talking to his dog, “I think I like her, like, like-like her and I don’t really know what to do.” As if she was listening to him, Petunia turned around, watching him with her chocolate brown eyes. Luke sat on the ground, followed by Petunia padding over and laying in between his legs. He took another bite of his toast, chewing thoughtfully.

“And she keeps telling me that she loves me, but what does that even mean?! Is this a platonic love? Or a familial love? Or like a romantic love?” The white bulldog mix grumbled, before sniffing her own leg.

“I don’t know, man,” he said, stroking her back. He paused before laughing to himself.

“I don’t know, WO-man.” And there was silence, as if Petunia understood his bad joke. “Get it? Cause you’re a girl Pet? Not a man?” Petunia made some whining noises, before getting up and laying on her bed near the couch.

“Alright then,” he grumbled. Luke got up, realizing that he should probably get ready for the studio.

“I’ll figure it out. Maybe.”

Just as she walked into the cafe where they were having brunch, she heard all of their laughter. More specifically Luke’s laughter. Despite having a deeper-toned voice, Luke’s laugh was more high-pitched and breathy, which was something that always brought her a smile to her face and even had her laughing along.

“How can I help you?” Y/N snapped from her daze, now seeing the slightly too peppy hostess in front of her. “Hi, I’m here with a group, and I think they’re in the back.” The hostess frowned, clicking on the screen.

“I’m sorry but that’s a private party,” she said. Y/N noticed that she was tenser compared to how the hostess was a few seconds ago.

“Is there a problem? My friends are there; we made a reservation.” The hostess chewed her lip, contemplating before deciding.

“What is the name that the reservation is under?”

“I think it’s under Bobby or Thomas. For a party of 7?” Whenever they would have these get-togethers, the boys would always put the reservation under a different name, to limit the crowds of people that would form out front once someone recognized them. She mentally rolled her eyes, as they weren’t that creative with names.

“Uh,” the hostess said, her hands slightly shaking and her eyes shifting around them, “can you give me a second?” Y/N frowned, annoyed that she had to wait when she could hear them just a few feet away from her. But she nodded, which then the hostess walked into the back.

y/n: what the heck?!! cal-pal: what? what did I do? y/n: what’s the reservation name under cal-pal: ...fuck cal-pal: I think I put it under Thomas y/n: …… cal-pal: sorry cal-pal: are they giving you trouble y/n: I think so, the hostess had to quiz me y/n: then I think she’s getting her boss cal-pal: do u want me to go up there y/n: no it’s fine, I’ll figure it out cal-pal: ..okay just lmk if u want me to y/n: oke

“Excuse me, ma’am?” Y/N looked up from her phone, now seeing the hostess move onto another customer while a young lady and a guy that seemed to be the epitome of a hipster watched her, their eyes looking over every part of her and her outfit. Y/N normally didn’t care what people thought of what she wore. Some days it was lazy and comfortable with a sweatshirt while other times it was more dressy and fashionable with colored ankle boots to match. Today was an in between, with a polka dotted t-shirt dress, black stockings, and olive green combat boots. Oh, and she was wearing Luke’s 5SOS sweatshirt again, which she stole from him and basically claimed as her own. Now thinking over her choices this morning as (what she presumes) the two owners look her over, debating if she truly is apart of the group that’s closed off the back of the cafe or if she was a rabid fan that wanted to meet the band of her dreams.

“Oh! Y/N, you’re here!” She spotted Ashton behind the cafe owners, sporting a wide grin. The owners automatically relaxed and stepped aside.

“Sorry about that sir, we just weren’t sure if she was-”

“That’s fine, and I’ll take her to our seats,” Ashton said, cutting off the hipster dude. The two nodded, before walking away, into the back area near the kitchens.

“Perfect timing,” Y/N breathed, as she and Ash walked down a corridor to the closed-off section.

“Cal told me about the situation, and after taking awhile, he asked if I could check up to see if they had thrown you out.” She rolled her eyes, elbowing him.

“There you are! What took you so long!” Michael said, pulling her into a hug.

“Sorry guys and gals, the front wouldn’t let me go for a bit.” Luke’s eyebrows furrowed, as he took a sip of what Y/N assumed to be some fruit/vegetable health concoction that she would say far away from.

“I think the sweatshirt didn’t help,” Cal said, who was sat next to her. Y/N shrugged.

“Probably. I didn’t think much of it this morning, was just cold. But hey, at least you know that you’re covered with security and privacy at this place.” The boys nodded, looking back down at their menus.

“We didn’t order yet, except for Luke’s weird-ass smoothie and Crystal’s juice,” Cal said, leaning on her shoulder. He gave her his menu, since there wasn’t enough for the whole table, thus him reading over her shoulder the options.

“Heyyy,” Luke said, who was sitting on the other side of Y/N. He leaned in, to the point where Y/N was squished in between the two freakishly tall dudes (okay so there are many people, specifically guys that are around their height but to Y/N and her measly height they all seems gigantic). “I heard that. And it’s not weird; it’s tasty and good for you.”

“Mate, those two don’t belong in the same sentence,” Ashton quipped. He was sat across from Y/N, still flicking through the menu, unsure what to get.

“Unfortunately I would have to agree, it might be healthy but definitely doesn’t taste good,” Y/N said, facing Luke who was pouting at her statement.

“Have you tried it?” His eyes bore into hers, and when she looked into his, there was a lack of laughter that would usually be there. She shook her head.

“No,” she mumbled.

“Try it.” Luke reached out the straw towards her lips, and with some nudges from Luke, she took a sip to her dismay and the laughter of her friends around her. Once the liquid hit her tongue, her eyebrows crinkled and her eyes squinted at the bitter and sour taste.

“HA! I told you it wasn’t good!” Calum said, pointing at Luke. Luke raised his eyebrows at Y/N in question.

“I mean it’s not bad-”

“See!”

“-but I wouldn’t pay money to get it.” The table chorused in laughter, with the exception of Luke.

“Are you ready to order?” Their whole group suddenly went silent, now realizing the waitress that was standing at the end of their table, for who knows how long.

“Uh yeah,” Mikey said. Everyone said their orders, going clockwise around the table, until it stopped at Y/N.

“Uh this is awkward,” she mumbled, flipping through the menu to see if anything stuck out to her. She had something in mind earlier, but now it was slipping her mind what that was.

“Just get the eggs benedict, it’s pretty good here,” Luke whispered to her, who was practically on her shoulder.

“You and your fucking eggs,” she grumbled.

“And what would you like ma’am?” Luke choked back his laughter, as the waitress spoke immediately after Y/N, who was now mortified that everyone around her heard what she just said.

“I’ll have the eggs benedict, with hash browns on the side,” she finally said, after a nudge from Cal, which broke her stupor. The waitress nodded, scrawling it down on her notepad before collecting all the menus.

“It will be out in about 15 to 20 minutes, and is there anything else that you need? Refills?” Cal and Ash snorted, then quickly composed themselves.

“No thank you,” Michael said, almost rolling his eyes at the boys’ antics. The waitress nodded, then walked away back into the kitchens. “Really?” He glared at Cal and Ash.

“What? We were laughing at Y/N.” Ash said, still giggling. The whole tabled looked at her, who was doe-eyed, like a deer in the headlights.

“What? All I did was this,” she said, shrugging. She then pointed at Luke’s smoothie, followed by the pantomiming of her chopping her neck along with being cross-eyed and her tongue sticking out. The whole table erupted in laughter.

“Man, I’m stuffed,” Mikey said, patting his stomach. Y/N rolled her eyes, yet chuckled at the currently blonde-haired boy.

“Heading back to the studio?” Y/N asked, as they got up from their seats. Some were stretching and others were sliding on their jackets. Mikey shook his head.

“Nah, we have the day off.” Y/N nodded, while tying the sweatshirt, that may or may not have caused her so much trouble earlier that day, around her waist.

“So, you’re just gonna chill?” she replied. Ashton shrugged, frowning slightly.

“Yeah, I guess.” They all walked out of the cafe; the cool breeze lightly hitting them in the face. The group stood in twos, with Luke and Y/N bringing up the rear.

“What are you gonna do today?” Luke said, swinging his arm, back and forth, which was holding her hand. She shrugged, also swinging her arm in tune with Luke’s.

Normally, when they would casually be holding hands or any other form of affection that was shown more in couples, Y/N didn’t think much of it. But today it felt different between them. Maybe it was the excessive joking at the cafe, or how they split chocolate chip pancakes together and he fed her the first bite, but whatever it was, it was all adding up in her head. Did he like her? Because damn, if he did, her heart would burst out of her chest, just like how it is now, thundering away.

“Just it’s gonna be us singletons!” Y/N snapped out her reverie, now seeing Mikey and Crystal walk away, giving them a wave with her free hand.

“Mate, it’s just us,” Calum point out, nodding at Luke and Y/N’s intertwined hands. Her cheeks turned hot and were probably pink.

“No, my hands are just cold,” Luke said, who was also sporting tinged cheeks.

“We’re in the west coast? And look, you have pockets, man.” Ashton was pointing to Luke’s leather jacket, which indeed did have pockets.

“They can’t fit with his humango hands,” Y/N quipped, grinning at Luke. She maintained eye contact with the blue-eyed boy as she put their enclosed hands into her own coat pocket that was unusually big. Something in her compelled her to do this; she wasn’t sure what. But based on the widened eyes and grin that Luke was giving her, Y/N was glad she did.

The boys didn’t say much to the gesture, as they continued walking down the street, side by side. Luke gave their intertwined hands a brief but tight squeeze, as he continued to chat with Cal about some band, that Y/N didn’t catch the name of, and that band’s new album that was going to be released in the next few days. She glanced at him in the corner of her eye, while she was listening to Ash ramble about a new song that the band was writing recently.

“Y/N?”

“Hm?” She looked up from her shoes, to see Ash staring at her with a smirk.

“Thinkin’ about something?” Her mouth flopped open then closed, after a moment, noting that she probably looked like a fish flopping out of the water.

“No?” Her cheeks grew hot. Was it just today, or has it always been that her mind drifted to thinking about Luke?

“Well,” Ash said with a raised eyebrow, “I was asking you about your thoughts.”

“My thoughts?”

“About the song?” Y/N’s eyes widened suddenly, trying to rack her mind of the song that Ash was talking about, to pull something out of her ass to convince him that she was listening to him.

“Yeah, the one I was talking about?”

“Ah, um, it’s interesting?” she paused, thinking of something better to say. “Like, I can’t imagine creatively writing a melody that doesn’t copy an already written song?” Ashton nodded at her, his face grim and stoic.

“That’s-” he said, before bursting into laughter.

“What?” She stopped walking, seeing the older boy bent over laughing. Oh yeah, she forgot Luke was holding her hand. Y/N was immediately pulled forward, causing her to trip and stumble, which also induced Ashton into further laughter.

“Why did we stop?” Luke said, watching the two of them, one who was still bent over in laughter, while the other gripping his arm to prevent from falling over into the pavement.

“Y-Y/N-” Ashton said, then giggled further. He stood up, taking deep breaths to calm down, though he was still sporting a huge grin.

“Shut up dude,” Y/N groaned, pulling Ashton’s arm up till he was standing upright again. Luke smirked at Y/N while Cal rolled his eyes at the two of them, and the two of them continued on with their conversation.

“I hate you,” she groaned, once they were again situated back in their positions: the four of them walking down the sidewalk in a row of four, much to the annoyance of other pedestrians that would pass them with a stink eye. Ash would give them an exaggerated frown back at them, which would be responded with a huff and a mutter something along the lines that they were done with tourists for the month. Cal and Luke were completely oblivious to those stares and grimaces, as they were wrapped up in their conversation, which Y/N was not sure if was still about music or about the recent rugby match that Luke dragged her out from her cozy cocoon of her bed at 3 am to watch the match with him at his place. (She later found out that both Ash and Cal were also up at the godforsaken hour at Ashton’s apartment, much to the neighbors’ disappointment.)

“Nah, pretty sure you love me,” Ashton quipped, sidestepping behind Y/N to let an elderly couple walk past them. Y/N rolled her eyes, but the smile creeping up on her face said otherwise.

“Unfortunately.” She slumped her shoulders, which pushed her hands deeper into her coat pocket. She also missed the widening smile that Luke was on his face, while Cal and Ash noted the quiet exchange in their minds.

“And you love him more,” Ashton said, quiet enough for her to hear, but for the other two Aussie boys to not.

“Well I mean,” she hesitated, “I love all you guys.”

“But him more.” He raised his eyebrows slightly, as the corner of his mouth quirked up, the smirk threatening to spread across his face. Y/N frowned for a moment, then her expression changed to a soft smile in an instant.

“Maybe so.”

cal-pal: I don’t understand cal-pal: why cant u just tell her lu: dunno lu: I’m sure she doesn’t like me in that way cal-pal: dude cal-pal: have u SEEN how she’s like with u around? lu: like any other normal time we hang out? cal-pal: smh lu: ?? cal-pal: whatever man

Luke sighed, placing his phone on the coffee table in front of him. He likes her, that for sure he knows. Heck, he’s also pretty sure that he loves her.

But his mind is going crazy if she does too. It also didn’t help the poor boy when she decided to hold his hand while they were strolling down the street with Cal and Ash. And she made no comment or further action about it, other than teasing him with the boys that 1. he’s cold and it’s LA in the spring, and 2. he has, and she quotes, “humango hands,” which she also said exactly in her post it the other week. Does she or does she not?

Petunia padded over to where he was sitting on the couch, sniffling and whining for his attention.

“Hey Pet,” he said, a soft smile adorning his lips as he rubbed her head, placing a kiss or two right above her eyes.

“Maybe it’s just a close friends thing,” he grumbled, “like, she greets all of the guys with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.” He paused thinking. “I mean she calls Ash ‘babe’ all the time.”

y/n: am forward or being too forward sumo smash ash: normally, I’d say a bit too forward y/n: and? sumo smash ash: let me finish! sumo smash ash: but with luke’s thick-ass skull I’d almost say not enough y/n: aCTUALLY y/n: I mean, last week I stayed in bed with him and we CUDDLED y/n: I don’t cuddle with guys too often sumo smash ash: cept us dudes sumo smash ash: cause we cuddly y/n: facts y/n: but like I helped him fall asleep at the “ass-crack of dawn” y/n: who does that? y/n: and we slept in the same bed, intertwined PRIOR to falling asleep y/n: I left the dude cute-ass notes sumo smash ash: to be fair sumo smash ash: u do the driving thing with us, along with other poor fellas that suffer jet-lag or insomnia sumo smash ash: even at the ass-crack of dawn y/n: I guess sumo smash ash: but u do seem to be more personal and flirty with him compared to your usual nice-ness

Y/N groaned, dragging her fingers through her hair. How come he just didn’t know?

She had been trying to give Luke hints that she likes him, hell, that she loves him, but alas he has no clue.

Two weeks ago, they had a movie marathon, the day right after the boys came back from 5SOS III, in which they were both tucked up on the couch with a few blankets and at least four pillows. And after awhile, at about the beginning of the second movie, they were spooning, and she was also hand-feeding Luke red vines and popcorn. Not to mention that they also fell asleep on the couch and were woken up at 7 am by Petunia licking her face and whining in Luke’s ear.

The following weekend they spent time “browsing,” as what Y/N called it, thus so that her wallet wouldn’t be dead by the end of their spontaneous shopping trip. They went everywhere, from boutiques that housed fashions worth more than her apartment rent, to beauty counters where she needed more matte eyeliner and the two of them gazed and glitter palettes (they both bought one each, though they promise to borrow and share the wide variety of colors) and rows and rows of nail polish in every color under the sun. To normal clothings stores, “lucas, these clothes are barely in my income range, and I want plaid pants too,” and of course the stores that allowed Y/N to get five white t-shirts of the most minute styling differences all under 20 dollars. They even ran into a few fans, which she silently stepped aside, continuing to look at other items in the store, all the while being a couple feet away from Luke in case they needed to make a swift exit. No questions were raised about the two of them together, out on the town, all assuming that she was just a supportive friend in all endeavors of Luke Robert Hemmings’ life.

It became to the point with the amount of time that they were spending with each other outside of Luke being in the studio or Y/N at work, that her lingering feelings that she’s housed for the light-haired curly-headed boy turned into actual, vivid emotions that came up fluttering in her belly, especially when he would give her that wide, eye-crinkle, grin.

y/n: I just don’t know what to do sumo smash ash: maybe bring it up a notch? sumo smash ash: like to the point where it’s painfully obvious y/n: well if that doesn’t work then might as well tell him myself y/n: despite ya know y/n: the overwhelming potential rejection y/n: damn. y/n: guys have it hard, when going first with these kinds of things sumo smash ash: YEAH sumo smash ash: that’s if guys go first sumo smash ash: despite it being the 21st century y/n: yeahhhh ik y/n: girls kinda still want some reassurances that the other is into you before they jump in too sumo smash ash: c’est la vie

Y/N frowned, trying to wracked her brain of more, should she say, creative ways of implying that she’s in love with her best friend.

Remember the words you told me, love me-

Y/N awoke immediately, swiping on her phone screen to answer the call.

“Hello?”

“Hey, you coming?” She furrowed her eyebrows, now looking at her phone screen, which popped up with more notifications that she seemingly didn’t hear during her nap.

in 2 hours - cashton’s rando bar hang lu: do u want me to pick u up lu: I think cal and mike want to go eat before lu: are you there? cal-pal: hey so thinkin that we should eat first cal-pal: to ya know, avoid the sudden alcohol rush cal-pal: nvm ash is pregaming mikey-crikey: are we meeting at the restaurant ash: what restaurant mikey-crikey: I wanna eat dude mikey-crikey: starving, ate an early lunch cal-pal: me too cal-pal: y/n where to? ...read more messages…

Y/N cursed to herself, seeing that it was a little past 8, while the guys had planned to hang at 7, and the additional last-minute dinner plans that they decided at 6, made her super late.

the true 5 seconds of summer y/n: SORRY SORRY SORRY y/n: OVERSLEPT cal-pal: finally cal-pal: we were just about to leave and bust down ur door mikey-crikey: luke was getting worried lu: WAS NOT mikey-crikey: you kept checking your phone every minute ?? lu: shut up ash: y/n hurrry upppp wer’e abtt to go HARD y/n: what? cal-pal: luke and ash are tipsy now, ash more than luke y/n: alright imma comin, imma comin

She plugged her phone in the charger, as it was likely that it was gonna be a long night and she didn’t want the risk of her phone being dead, trying to get a cab or uber with four utterly smashed guys.

Y/N looked in her closet, trying to find the dress with zodiacs embroidered in gold, that she was planning to wear, as she thankfully already planned her outfit for the night.

“Now where’s the jacket,” she mumbled, after slipping on the dress, breathing out heavily.

Luke swallowed another shot, trying to numb himself of the incessant thoughts in his head.

“Dude, you should slow down. Wait until Y/N comes,” Calum said, then taking a sip of his water.

“Don’t bother, she’s probably with that guy from her work.” Calum raised an eyebrow at the younger boy, but didn’t question him.

Ever since Luke heard from Y/N about this one guy that she met from work, who was a new hire, he couldn’t stop the seething jealousy. Despite him not voicing his own feelings, she would blabber on about how they both like similar music and movie marathons, which he thought was their thing. Much to say that Luke hated this guy’s guts, and the funniest part is that he doesn’t even remember the guy’s name.

“Hey, did Y/N make it yet?” Ashton said, with Michael trailing behind him.

“Not yet, but she just texted me, and the uber driver said about 2 more minutes,” Calum said, shrugging.

“I’m getting another drink.” Luke stood up suddenly, though he wobbled a little walking to the bar.

“I’m sorry again, but how much longer until we get there?”

“I don’t know ma’am, there seems to have been an accident.” She frowned, re-crossing her legs and vowing that she will set up ten alarms before she takes a nap ever again.

y/n: sorrrrry again cal-pal: ? y/n: there’s an accident on the highway y/n: hella traffic y/n: if I wasn’t on the highway, I would walk, we’re that close cal-pal: it’s alright cal-pal: except luke is getting antsy cal-pal: apparently you’re with a guy from work and it’s driving him crazy y/n: wait what

She raised her eyebrows, before frowning. It makes sense now: the hesitance, the nervous blushing, the need to cling onto her at all times. He liked her too.

But she also recognized that in Luke’s thick ass skull, he thought that when she was talking about her new co-worker Steven and how he wore a Fleetwood Mac t-shirt to work and oddly made it work in a business-attire setting and how Luke should try that. In her rambling on about Steven and his band t-shirt, Y/N presumed that he thought she liked Steven, which in her head, was the complete opposite. She was also glad that she didn’t bring up that Steven had subtly asked her out, in the form of getting drinks with a few of his buddies, but she gently let him down because she had plans with a blonde rockstar that had just come home from a promo tour of a new single off of his band’s third album (not to mention that she was head-over-heels in love with him).

Much to say that she had to bring her A-game tonight.

“I’m really sorry I’m late,” she huffed, slamming her purse on the table.

“Y/N! You’re finally here! Did you get to visit Sydney while you were at it?” She scoffed, rolling her eyes and shoved Mikey.

“I fucking hate you,” she grumbled, squeezing in between Luke and Calum. Y/N took the two shots that Ash pushed in front of her once she got settled, which went down her throat in a nice burn.

“Love you too,” Mikey said with a wink.

“Traffic finally let up?” Calum asked, leaning close to her ear, as the music was progressively getting louder once she arrived.

“Almost an hour, yeah.” She rolled her eyes. “It was just an accident with an out-of-towner that doesn’t know how to drive the California highways.”

“Figures,” Calum scoffed.

Then her phone went off, ringing and vibrating on the table in all its glory.

Remember the words you told me, love me till the da-

Y/N picked up her phone quickly, answering the call, not even checking the caller id.

“You have our song as your ringtone?!”

“Shut up!” Her cheeks turned red, from either the comment or the alcohol, but she would claim that it was the latter. “Hello? Who is this? Stevie? Stephen? Steven? Sorry, give me a second. Give me a second!”

She got up, holding onto Luke’s shoulder for balance, before teetering towards the entrance of the bar which was quieter.

“Dude, you really need to jump on that before the train leaves the station.” Luke was staring at the drink in front of him, then peered up, seeing all three boys, at different stages of drunkenness, all with knowing looks.

“What do you mean?” Ash scoffed, his arms leaning forward on the table.

“You need to get your head out of your ass and talk to her,” Ashton said, taking a sip of his beer.

“In the span of the three, maybe four minutes since Y/N has arrived, you haven’t spoken to her, even acknowledged her. Of course she’s gonna think you’re not interested and move on to another guy.” Calum said. Luke sighed, taking a huge gulp of his beer.

“Guys, just because I like her, doesn’t mean that she’s interested.” Calum was pretty sure that both Ashton and Michael were seconds away from decking the youngest boy. But he just shook his head, then took a long sip from his drink.

“What do you mean Linda won’t cover for me? I covered her last time!” Y/N huffed, rubbing her arms absentmindedly, as the front of the bar didn’t have the best insolation and the night cold seeped in every time someone walked in or out. Turns out Steven called because Caroline’s phone was dead. “Sorry Y/N, she had a conflict in the last minute.” Y/N frowned. She was hoping that her schedule would work out to tag along with the boys on one leg of the tour. She had saved about two and a half weeks of vacation days, planned to use for the tour, and the vacation could be a little longer with Linda covering her projects for about a week. And she was hoping that she could surprise the boys with the news tonight. But it looks like life had other plans.

“Can someone else cover them for me?” she said, taking a few glances back at the table. The boys were animatedly chatting: Cal sporting a soft smile, Ash with a wild grin on his face and waving his arms around, Mikey rolling his eyes, though a smirk was plastered on his face, and Luke, head tilted back in laughter. She could even hear him all the way from where she was. Or it was that she could hear what his laughs would sound like in her head.

“Y/N? You there?” She blinked, focusing back on Caroline on the phone.

“Yeah, yeah sorry. What were you saying?” Caroline giggled on the other line, barely loud enough for her to hear in the bar.

“I’m pretty sure I can find someone. And even if they don’t, I’ll split up the work and pass it out with no exceptions. Babe, you’ve been working so hard for the past few months. This break, you deserve it.” Y/N broke into a smile, the tips of her fingers tingling in excitement.

“Thank youuu, I don’t even know what I owe you.”

“Staaaph, you don’t owe me anything. And I better hear all the stories that you’ll get up to on tour.”

“Oh you will,” she said, while being sidetracked with Luke back at the table. This time, he was taking a long drink of his beer, his adam’s apple bobbing and the strands of hair tucked behind his ears falling out. Damn he looked perfect, with his shiny hair, shiny boots, and even shinier personality. And all the feelings swirling in her belly continued to swirl around with no destination in sight.

“-and I bet you’re not even listening to me, staring at the blue-eyed beauty with heart-eyes. You know what, you should tell him. Cause if you keep waiting any longer, complainin’ to me, I’m gonna tear my hair out, then shove the both of you into a small closet and throw the key.”

“Hey!”

“What? Bet you he’s driving his friends crazy with his overwhelming emotions that he doesn’t know what to do with too.” Y/N scoffed. “But anyways, I should let you go. Have fun! And tell him before I do!” Then Caroline hung up on her before she could inch another word.

“Caroline-!” She looked at her phone, her co-worker’s face disappearing from the screen and her call history showing up. She scrolled a little, before finding another number.

“Hello?”

“Hey Sam, it’s me.” She crossed her arms, balancing the phone on her shoulder, to give herself some warmth.

“Well, I hope it’s you and not someone else with your number.” She rolled her eyes.

“Listen, I just got off the phone with Caroline, and Linda can’t cover for me. So be a dear and help out Caroline with my projects, please?” She heard a sigh, followed by a thump, which she assumed was him landing in his desk chair.

“Fine. But you owe me. Like food or something.”

“Yeah, yeah I know,” she said smiling. At the office, she was the only few people that can cook well, thus favors being repaid in food.

“Okay gotta go, Caroline is telling me you have a hot date.”

“Wait no! It’s not a date! It’s just with guy friends.”

“Surrrre. And you must be in love with at least one of them,” Sam scoffed.

“Well, that may be true but this is not the time!”

“Aha! Well have fuuuun!” And he hung up on her.

“I’m gonna kill them both,” Y/N muttered, as she walked back to the table.

“There you are!” Ashton said. The other three turned to face her; they all had dopey grins, minus Luke who was giving her mixed signals.

“It was work,” she frowned. Calum raised his brows, silently asking if there was something else going on.

“Nothing important, buuut,” she said, climbing back on the barstool while gripping Luke’s shoulder for balance. “I do have a surprise.”

“What is it?” Mikey said, his eyes widening.

“It’s nothing big, but I did have to work out the logistics with work, and also talk to your manager for the details and the permission to do so but-”

“Tell me, woman!” Ashton said, slamming a fist on the table. “Fuck, that hurt!” He gripped his fist with the other hand. Y/N bit her tongue from laughing.

“So that all means that I get to join you for tour!” The four of them froze, eyes wide, with some gaping mouths.

“You’re fucking joking,” Mikey said. She shook her head.

“Not joking. Confirmed with the boss man yesterday and with my boss earlier today. I get to tag along for the euro leg!” Next thing she knew, she was clobbered by four tall dudes with bear hugs.

“Can’t fucking believe it. You’re coming on tour,” Cal said in her ear.

“Y/N’S COMING ON TOUR!” Ashton nearly yelled in her ear.

“Ow, tone it down Ash,” Luke said. Well, more Luke’s ear than hers.

“Aw geez guys, thanks for the love and warmth, by the way, this bar is fucking cold, but I’m also losing oxygen.” They all reluctantly let go, sitting back in their chairs, except for Ash, who went to get more shots.

“Can’t believe it,” Luke mumbled in her ear. She scooted her chair closer to Luke, before tucking herself in his bomber jacket and wrapped her arms around his frame.

“What are you doing?” Luke said, giggling.

“It’s fucking cold,” she said, pulling herself closer to Luke, “and I’m the dumb idiot that wore a backless dress to the cold-ass bar.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, rubbing the other side not attached to him, pausing slightly when she mentioned the backless dress.

“At least you were sensible enough to wear a jacket,” he finally said.

“It’s your jacket, asshole.” Luke giggled, then taking the shot that Ash brought back to their table, handing her one as well.

“Here’s to the true 5SOS band’s Meet You There Tour!” Y/N twisted herself enough to face the group with her shot glass raised in the air.

“Cheers!” They all clinked their glasses, then swallowing the clear liquid down. The other three boys walked away from the table: to dance, to smoke, to get more drinks.

“You’re truly something,” Luke whispered into her ear, rubbing her back.

“Truly yours,” she said back. He stopped rubbing her back, staring into her eyes. She kept eye contact, while straightening up in her chair.

“What?” he said softly. “You mean it?” She rolled her eyes.

“I mean it,” she said, grabbing the lapels of his jacket, “and I love you.”

Luke’s gaze softened, tugging her closer to him.

“Wow, I just never-” he stopped, looking down at her, nearly in his lap and wearing his leather jacket. “I love you too.” She smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“I’m glad, and I thought we were just friends.” Luke blushed, staring at the sun on her dress.

“I’m glad you made the first move.” Then she pulled him down for a kiss, their lips meeting halfway.

“About fucking time.” They both jumped, breaking apart.

Ash, Cal, and Mikey were standing in front of the table, all with smirks plastered on their faces.

“I hate you guys,” Y/N said, before reaching up to kiss Luke again. Once they broke apart, Luke smiled, gazing down at her.

“What?”

“I’ve been waiting for you, all this time.”

#5sosff #luke hemmings fic #luke hemmings x reader #5sos imagine #5sos fanfic #5sos fic #luke hemmings #luke 5sos #ashton irwin #luke hemmings fanfic #calum hood #michael clifford #5sos #5 seconds of summer #luke hemming imagines #luke hemmings imagine #damn this has been a PAIN to format and lowkey regretting the texting parts bc thosewere the worst part of formatting #also i feel like i'm missing something but oh well #content creation

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imaginedeux · 8 years

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Knight (Single Dad! Calum Hood AU) 5

A/N: I got some inspo from reading “The Perks of Being A Wallflower”, I couldn't come up with anything to write, and reading helps me write. So because school is starting on the 18th, so this might be the last one for a while. I hope you all enjoy. It’s over 3k words holy...

Parts: 1, 2, 3, 4

“It’s so good to be back in Los Angeles!” Michael yelled into the warm L.A. air as everyone got off the plane. After the conversation you had with Calum, it only took you a couple more days to completely get over the bug you caught, much to Aurora and Calum’s relief. Since then you’ve been flying to the last couple of shows in the US, seeing that they were all a right after each other, it only made it easier on all of you.

“Have you ever been to Los Angeles, (Y/N)?” Aurora asked from here you held her on your hip. Since you got better, she almost never left your side, and recently neither had Calum.

“No, i’ve never been so this is going to be an adventure.” You smiled adjusting the bags you had on your other shoulder. You still only had your one suit case, but now it was second nature to carry ‘Rora’s with yours, which you didn't mind. Until she started getting more things to take home at the end of tour, which was in a week or two, and it honestly scared you how close it was.

“Here, let me help you with that!” A familiar voice sounded from behind you, before you could protest, Calum came in and took both of your bags. “Im sure James and the rest of the security have told you how bad it gets, especially here in L.A.”

“I was told yes, which is why I was going to give the bags to one of the guards so they could put it with the rest of the luggage, but thank you.” You smiled walking ahead of the guys, starting to get ‘Rora distracted.

“You know she barely takes orders from James, much less from you right? The only one she listens to is Aurora” Ashton laughed as the rest of the group entered the airport.

“Yeah...” Calum chuckled adjusting his grip on your luggage along with ‘Rora’s.

“She has you wrapped around her finger mate.” Luke teased waving one his own. Calum would never admit it but, he was, he didn't really know what it was about her, but he couldnt help but smile when she was around, or when she was with Aurora. He felt like (Y/N) was able to complete the picture that he and Aurora were able to start. The times she wasn't able to help him tuck ‘Rora in bed because she had to do security detail with the rest of the guards, ‘Rora would ask him if (Y/N) was going to stay with them forever, like the way her Uncles are. He would tell her the truth that he wasn't sure if she was going to be on tour with them forever, but that she was going to be in their lives no matter what.

“GRANDMA!?” Aurora’s voice took Calum out of the trance he was in, to see the his family, and the guys’ waiting for them. Everyone went towards their respected families as he jogged over to his own and to (Y/N).

“Mum?” He asked giving her a hug as she hugged ‘Rora.

“Didn't expect us to be here did you?” His dad asked as he got ahold of his granddaughter.

“Seeing that there was a week between this leg and the last couple of shows in Oz, we thought we would pay you a visit.” His sister, Mali-Koa said bringing him in for a hug as he let go of his mom. “Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude, i’m Calum’s sister, Mali-Koa, and you are...?” She asked seeing you stand off to the side awkwardly.

“Oh, um, I'm (Y/Full/N) I work as Security for the guys. Its finally nice to put some faces to the names Aurora talk about.” You said holding out your hand for a hand shake.

“Oh YOU’RE THE (Y/N), AURORA AND CALUM ARE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT, ITS SO NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU!” Mali gushed letting go of her brother to bring you in for a hug. You blushed at what she said, but gave her a hug nonetheless.

“Yeah! (Y/N), this is my Aunty Mali, and my Kuia, and Koroua!” Aurora said taking your hand before pointing at Mali-Koa, then Calum’s mom and dad.

“Kuia means grandmother and Koroua means grandfather in Maori.” Calum explained kneeling down to grab ‘Rora. “Since the family’s here why don't we all go out to eat? Do you like the sound of that baby?” He asked looking at his daughter, a huge smile on his face.

“YES! (Y/N), are you coming along?” She asked clapping, suddenly all eyes were on you.

“Um, I think i’ll pass love. You haven't seen your family in a long time, I don't want to get in the middle of it.” You said softly grabbing your suit case from Calum.

“But you are family...” Aurora replied just as softly, before she wiggled her way out of her father’s grasp and hung onto you, making sure you didn't leave. “Like Lilo and Stitch say, Ohana means family, and family means...”

“Nobody gets left behind or forgotten.” Calum finished taking back your suitcase.

“Come, join us for lunch, you can tell us the other side of the stories Calum and Aurora have told us. I’m Joy and this is my husband David by the way.” She introduced herself before bringing you in for a hug.

“So you served in the Army?” David asked as everyone entered the thresh hold of Calum’s house. Since Aurora was born, Calum decided to buy a house in L.A. since he knew he was going to be on this side of the world more often than not recording with the rest of the band.

“Yes Sir.” You replied, at the restaurant one of your old platoon buddies recognized you.

“Staff Sargent (Y/Last/N), how have you been Ma’m?” One of the younger guys in your platoon came up to the table you and the rest of the Hood family was at.

“Nice to see you too Private Lozano, how have you been? How’s the girlfriend?” You asked getting up from your seat giving him a quick hug.

“She’s Mrs. Lozano now, we got married a couple months back, I would have invited you but no one could find you, its like you dropped off the face of the Earth.” He laughed showing off his ring, before he realized he was interrupting something. “Oh, I’m sorry...”

“No it’s alright, this is the family for one of the guys I'm working for, they invited me out to eat. Calum’s the one i’m working for he's one of the reasons why I dropped off the face of the Earth. I started working as security for him and his band.” You gestured to him, he got up from his seat giving Private Lozano a hand shake.

“Nice to meet you mate.” Calum greeted him with a handshake.

“You have no idea how lucky you are to have her working for you sir. She always treated us like family. Believe it or not, she actually saved me during one of the missions we were on, I had gotten shot in the knee and once in the chest, so I couldn’t move. She came up from the rear and made sure I made it back to base camp, she used herself as a shield to make sure I didn't get hit more.” He explained putting his hand on your shoulder.

“You know I made an oath to you and the rest of the group that I was going to bring everyone back home no matter what.” You replied, a small smile on your face.

“ Even if it meant getting shot in the back three times. If it wasn't for her I probably wouldn't be here.”

“You never told us that story (Y/N)!” Aurora exclaimed reaching the couch in the living room.

“Because I never thought it was important love.” You replied taking a seat next to her, then quickly sat on your lap, her back leaning against your front.

“Well now we can see why she’s taken such a liking to you (Y/N).” Joy said taking the seat next to you. “You’re probably one of the strongest women I’ve ever met.”

“Oh, no, I’m not strong. I signed up for that job and I did the best I could in it.” You explained you never wanted to be a hero, you felt as if it was your duty to protect those who could not protect themselves.

“You said your armor protected you, so why did the man say you got hit in the back three times? Did they hurt? Did you almost die?” Aurora asked from your lap, looking up at you, genuinely worried.

“Oh yeah, well um, I used the armor to protect Private Lozano, so I was in more danger, but I didn’t die, so there’s nothing to worry about.” You easily lied to the little girl, not wanting to scare her. “So what movie do you want to see?” You asked looking at the movie collection she and Calum had.

“Hey (Y/N), can you come help me in the kitchen? Mum, Dad, and Mali, why don't you help Aurora pick out a movie or two we can all watch together?” Calum asked sticking his head out from the doorway to the kitchen. After Mali grabbed ‘Rora you quickly made your way to the kitchen where Calum was grabbing a couple of things to drink and started putting bags of popcorn to pop. “You alright?”

“Yeah, didn't expect for Lozano to be there and bring up that story.” You sighed leaning against one of the many counters the kitchen had.

“Is there something else to that story that he didn’t bring up?” Calum whispered, scared to see if he asked something wrong from how quickly you started breathing. “Y-You don't have to tell me, I'm sorry I over stepped my boundaries.” He apologized quickly coming to your side to comfort you, bringing you in for a hug.

“N-No, its fine. J-Just don't tell anyone what i’m about to tell you, no one outside the people who took me to the hospital, and the people who saved me know this. U-um, while I got Lozano back to base camp, I ended up getting shot 6 times, three in the back, once on each thigh, and once on my right shoulder. By the time we got back to base, I had lost almost three pints of blood and was going into shock. I was in the hospital for almost a month after that, I died on the way to the hospital but they brought me back before they took me into surgery.” You confessed, your face buried into his chest, tears streaming down your face, you hadn't told anyone what really happened that day, you told the rest of your platoon that one of the bullets hit an important blood vessel and because of that you lost a lot more blood than normal. “I-I’m sorry you have to see me like this, that was the one time I was scared I wasn't going to come back out alive.”

“You’re human (Y/N), and we all cry sometimes. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me that. I won't see you any differently, but it’ll make me appreciate you more, and not take you for granted.” Calum murmured into your hair as he embraced you, you weren't much of a hug type of person, but on occasion Calum would bring you in for one after you helped Aurora with something important.

“I’ll take the floor.” You called grabbing an extra pillow and blanket from the hall way cabinet. After you calmed down from crying to Calum and watched a couple of Disney movies, the Hood family convinced you to stay there at Calum’s for the next week. You would have said no, but there was no way Aurora was going to let you go.

“No, you’re the guest, there’s no way you're taking the floor. I will.” Calum said going to the bedroom from the connected bathroom.

“You haven't been home in months, there’s no way I'm letting you take the floor in your own home. I shouldn't even be here, I should have gotten a hotel before we landed, but I didn't know any of this was happening.” You argued coming into the room with the extra blanket and pillow. “Fucking-a Calum, you could have warned me you were shirtless.” You blushed looking away from the half naked Hood.

“I always sleep shirtless.” He chuckled trying to grab the blankets and pillow from you.

“Well, I always went to sleep after all of you did and I would wake up before you all did so I never saw you.” You explained tugging them back from his grip. “I’ll take the floor.”

“No, I will.” He argued back.

“No, I will Hood.”

“No, I will (Y/Last/N).”

“JUST SHARE THE DAMN BED!” Someone yelled from the door way. The two of you turned blushing to see Mali, looking annoyed that she was forced to get out of bed. “Just share the damn bed please, I can hear the two of you argue from across the hall.”

“Sorry Mali-Koa!”

“Sorry Mal...” The two of the blushed apologizing, Mali shook her head and left back to her room.

“Fine, but fare warning, I toss and turn in my sleep.” You confessed giving the pillow and extra blanket to Calum. “Now if you’ll excuse me, Imma go change.” You said grabbing some sweats and a shirt from your suitcase. You quickly changed from your jeans and black under armor shirt to some old running shorts and an old t-shirt turned biker tee, you usually just slept in your shorts and a bra, but seeing you were sharing the bed with Calum, you opted for the shirt.

“Hope you weren't expecting too much Hood.” You said coming out of the bathroom with your clothing in hand, ready to put it away.

“I was actually expecting you in sweats and a hoodie, so this is a pleasant surprise.” He mused from his spot from his side of the bed, leaning against the headboard. “Is that why you always wear jeans and a longer sleeved shirt?” He asked so softly he wondered if you had heard him. There were scars scattered around your legs and arms, most of them were small, but there were a couple that were easy to see from a distance.

“Yeah, the bigger ones are from missions at the end of my contract, and some of the smaller ones were from bootcamp.” You explained putting your clothes away, your left hand instantly went to your right shoulder. “The lighter they are the worse they were, one of the ones from the mission with Lozano almost completely destroyed my rotator cuff.” You said moving your shirt a bit, as you went to sit down with Calum, to show him the scar. You’d never shown anyone any of the scars before, sure sometimes when it got too hot to wear a baseball tee or a long sleeve you were forced into a t-shirt and a couple of old scars from the past four years would show, but none of them were prominent enough to cause questions.

“Are the other ones just as bad?” Calum whispered scooting closer to you, this was another side of you he’d never seen before. He never knew of how much you were hiding, he had see a couple of scars that were across your arms when you wore t-shirts, but was always scared to ask you about them. He was scared that he would end up pushing you away from him.

“The ones on my thighs aren't too bad, they just look like dimples in them.”

“Luke dimples or Ashton dimples?” He chuckled seeing a bit of the scar on the outside of your thigh.

“Ashton.” You laughed.

“What about the ones on your back? Wait, no, I shouldn't have asked! You don't have to show them to me!”

“Someone might as well see them, and you’re one of the only people I trust enough to show them to...” You chuckled turning your back to him, pulling your shirt so your left shoulder was visible. “That one bounced off one of the cars I pulled Lozano behind and bypassed the armor the vest had by a couple of inches, and hit my shoulder. Since it wasn't at its full force that one wasn't as bad. After that happened, I gave the vest to Lozano so he could shield himself a bit more, a couple of blocks away from base another one...” You started before you started pulling the back of you shirt up, before Calum helped you keep it at the base of your neck. “Thanks, um the one on my right, gave me a collapsed lung.” You explained before you could feel Calum barely touch the scar, which showed from the bottom of the bra. “It doesn't hurt Cal.” You chuckled at how gentle he was being. “I’m not going to break if you touch it.”

“Still, you’ve been through so much...” He whispered finally touching the scar, he knew you wouldn't break, but he knew what was once here almost killed you, and that scared him.

“That one didn't really scare me, cause people can live with one lung, but the one thats at the base of my back is the one who gave me the run for my money.” You explained as you touched the nickel sized scar that was just above the waistband of your shorts. “A couple of inches to the right, and it could have hit my spine, and I could have been paralyzed.” You sighed remembering what the doctor said once you came too after the surgery.

“Jesus, (Y/N)...” Calum murmured gently allowing his finger to run over the scar. “I knew from the very beginning that you were one of the strongest people i’ve ever met, but this shows how brave and selfless you are.”

“It was a part of my...” You started before Calum took you off guard and hugged you from behind, his arms easily wrapping around your stomach bringing you closer to him.

“Don't say it was part of your job, its just who you are, you want to protect others, you want to make sure everyone is okay, you make people feel a part of a family. (Y/N), I want to protect you as much as I can, Aurora loves you, the rest of the guys see you as a sister, my family love you already, and you just met them not even 12 hours ago. I honestly don't want to think of you leaving ‘Rora and I after tour is over.” Calum confessed nuzzling his head into your shoulder.

“I already told you, i’ll still be in your lives no matter what.” You whispered holding onto the back of his hand, your thumbs ran over his knuckles, a gesture the two of you became accustomed too over the past couple of weeks.

“Let’s make it a bit more concrete.” He whispered before giving your shoulder butterfly kisses.

“And how would that happen?” You whispered shivering a bit, you weren't use to too much intimacy, over the past couple of months the two of you would share hugs, and a couple of cuddle sessions with Aurora, but this was a new level for you.

“Well, first I would ask you to be my girlfriend, then I would ask you if you wanted to move in with Aurora and I once the tour is over.” Calum explained bringing you to him so his chest was to your back.

“Is this your way of killing two birds with one stone?” You asked starting to lean against him a bit.

“Yeah.” He chuckled, his laugh causing his chest to vibrate against your back, making you smile a bit.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, but let’s not tell anyone yet. I don't know how Aurora is going to react, I want to be able to tell her, and I want her to know that if she doesn't want me to be anything more than just (Y/N), I’ll be fine with that.”

“Okay, we’ll tell everyone when you want.” He smiled kissing the top of your head, happy to be able to call you his girlfriend.

#FINAL-FUCKING-LY #calum hood #calum hood imagine #5sos imagines #calum hood au #calum imagine #single dad!calum #5sos #5sos au #5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer imagine #5 seconds of summer au #5 seconds of summer blurb

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