#instax fight

[semi-interestingphotography]

Okay ladies pick whichever Instax you want

BennyNikole and Diana (diana_jean_o)

[crabadonk]

getting into instant photography has given me a whole new world of things to be slightly pretentious about in my private time

[08luvmailz]

⌨︎ ⁩◞ HERO FANBOY — ! ❪shoto todoroki❫

SYNOPSIS ୨୧ ! which a certain hero from ua crushes (hard) on a idol ! headcanon, ooc shoto

FANBOY SHOTO! He wasn't interested in kpop activities, heck he hardly known anything about kpop in general.

He started knowing about them because of his brother natsuo who bought a heck ton of albums and blasting music in his room.

He side-eye his brother when he's screaming because he got your WINK-PHOTOCARD, as he keep screaming " omg! ITS SO SPARKS "

he saw the photocard and he was like " oh she's pretty " but disregard it afterwards BUTT

DIDNT KNOW HE WOULD FELL THAT HARD

he saw one of your recent comebacks on tv because his brother is streaming it and gahdam ur fucking SPARKLING ON STAGE.

At first he started knowing your group, YOU FIRST then streaming your group songs, your debut solo, collabs. streaming your group shows and music bank AND ALL THOSE

started buying albums too with natsuo. FINALLY HE HAVE SOMEONE IN THE FAMILY WHO WILL BE IN DEPT FOR LIFE BUYING ALBUMS

Natsuo asked who is his bias without hesitation he said your name, bro was smirking so bad at his lil bro BECAUSE YOU ARE THE MAKNAE OF YOUR GROUP, also half japanese and same age as him.

Bro was blushing whenever the camera pans at your face and smirking and doing that HE WAS GETTING HOTTER THAN HIS QUIRK

have a well known kpop stan twitter account who always make short comment about you but ICONIC because of how pure and sweet it is

doesnt know it but actually fell inlove with you NOT BECAUSE OF UR FACE (its a plus on him) but because of your determination and hard work, humour and personality is just CHEFS KISS

no one knows about his obsession welp it almost slip up when he accidently unplug his wired earphones to his phone AND SUDDENLY BLASTING Nobody knows by your group.

he lied he is just a casual listener

defends you on twitter, he looks like a soft boy but damn he is a beast on roasting BUT FAILS CAUSE HE CAN ONLY CUSS AT THEM

dedicated to buy front row tickets when your group finally have a concert there at your hometown

BRO WAS FIGHTING FOR LIFE AT THE POOR CONNECTION

bro brought the vip tickets for him and his big bro (with his dads money ofc, not like his father would know)

bro brought the 2 tickets for each day

won a fancall with you once but DAMN IT HIS HERO STUFF IS GETTING ON THE WAY

poor bby sulked the whole day that he missed the call, he was practicing his lines and tone for you

brought many batteries for his lightstick

make sure he is lookin good (not like he isn't good looking)

bro wake up early asf he want to be there as fast

bro became popular fan after one pictured him as the guy from the (group name) concert at jpn

he didnt know he bacame popular, he just saw his face 3 days after the concert on stan twt

BRO WHEN YOU TWO MAKE EYE CONTACT HE HAS HEART EYES

BRO WAS WHIPPED ASF

you are one stubborn fuck saw this cute guy with a scar and went through the barricades even though security was trying to get you back in stage cause its just a sound check and your safety too

Bro you came closer to him and saw his instax reaching for you. MADE A HEART CHEEK AT HIS FACE AND CAME CLOSER TO HIS FACE

bro almost want to faint right then and there.

you went after that he was kinda sad but happy he got a selfie WITH HIM

making this his lockscreen and making a frame of this treasured photo

You kept stealing glances at him and interacting with hand language, asking if he already eat lunch or just blantly flirting with him

LUCKIEST FAN

natsuo kept pushing his shoulders for every interaction at their section BUT MAINLY YOU ARE FOCUSED ON HIS BROTHER

bro when he came back from school BRO WAS BOMBARDED WITH QUESTIONS LIKE

" I DIDNT KNOW UR A FAN TODOROKI! " " WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME UR A FAN, I WANT TO BUY TICKETS TOO " " i didn't know todoroki listens to kpop " "BRO DID U HAVE PICS AND VID OF (your leader name) "

was now known as poker face but listens to puppy love by (groupname)

After that twt post of him being a handsome fan THEN PEOPLE STARTED SAYING HE WAS THE KID FROM UA, ENDEAVOR SON AND ALL THOSE SHIT

have an article of him now being the hero fan boy

boy he didnt give a shit about them, he just wanting to chill

but that didnt start there

your member posted on weverse a video of you taken, watching the sports festival and chanting HIS NAME AND BETTING THAT HE WOULD 1st PLACE

bro became the luckiest fan alive

saying he is the luckiest fan and hero and all of those then actually GONNA MEET YOU

you have a campaign like a collab with a hero AND THAT IS HIS DAD

participating on a event JUST TO SEE YOU

he did and boy was he nervous

he kept stuttering at the end of his sentence

then because actually friend with you, a little bit touchy side BUT HE IS A GENTELEMAN just subtle glances and touches

got your number and him posting a selfie of you two on twt (he made another acc just to post boast that picture)

after that he was well known as the hero fanboy who will soon in the future marry his idol

that woud be a story in another time <3

[singbluesxlver]

One day, Price decides to go on a road trip with Gaz, Soap and Ghost.

Destination? A house he owns near the beach.

His boys are thrilled with the idea and start packing as soon as he tells them about it.

Price would be lying if he said he's not super excited too. He carries an instax camera with him so that when they return, he can decorate part of his office wall with memories of the trip.

...

Price drives, Gaz is his co-driver and Ghost and Soap are in the back seats. At first Ghost had offered to take turns driving with Price but they all preferred him to stay away from the wheel.

They talk, listen to the "road trip playlist" Gaz made for the occasion, look at the landscape through the window and hear Soap asking "are we there yet?" over and over.

At some point, Soap suddenly falls silent and when Gaz turns to see why, he finds his two friends sleeping soundly, Soap's head resting comfortably on Ghost's shoulder.

Of course he wouldn't miss an opportunity like that and asks Price for the camera. That's the first photo taken on the trip.

...

The second one is of a sand sculpture, a mini version of their base.

Soap and Ghost spend at least two hours on it.

Price is impressed by the precision and attention to detail they put into making it and so it doesnt take long for him to pull out his camera. Seconds after the picture is printed, a ball from a child who's playing near them falls on their work, completely destroying it.

Gaz can't help but laugh loudly, Soap seems like he's about to cry, and Price tries very hard to stop Ghost from committing child murder.

...

Photos number three, four and five come with a less chaotic story behind.

At night, when Ghost's having trouble to sleep, Price sits on the couch with him and plays a movie he thinks he'll enjoy. Once the movie is over, he stays up with Ghost until he gets back to sleep.

Precisely, Price takes the third photo one time he sees Ghost being completely absorbed in the story of a film he chose for him, head resting on both hands and eyes glued to the screen. Price thinks he looks like a cat looking at a fish tank.

The forth is actually a request from Soap.

One late afternoon he finds Price entertained with a book and asks him to read it outloud for him. Price gladly accepts and since then they start having "reading sessions" everyday.

Soap lies down with his head in Price's lap, listening carefully to his soothing voice. From time to time he feels one of Price's hands run through his hair in such a relaxing way that it makes him think he is going to fall asleep at any moment.

It means so much to Soap when they finish their first book together that he asks Price to take a picture of him posing with it. It had been a long time since he was able to finish a book because of how hard it is for him to concentrate on reading most of the time.

As for the fifth photo, it's taken by Ghost while he watches (and hears) Price teaching Gaz how to play the guitar. He admires Price's patience and Gaz's determination and commitment, who strives to learn despite struggling with the barre chords from time to time.

The camera captures Price's proud look over a very focused Gaz trying to play a new song he taught him a couple of minutes ago.

...

During their little vacations, they take many more photos. Price and Ghost after beating Gaz and Soap in a beach volleyball match, Price posing next to a "1# dad captain" mug the boys gave him half jokingly-half seriously, Soap and Gaz having a water fight in the sea, Ghost surrounded by seagulls after having fed one of them, Ghost and Soap's first kiss after having returned from a walk on the beach in which they both confessed their feelings for each other, etc.

...

Price's favorite photo is one of the last to be taken tho.

While on the beach, Gaz asks a man passing by to take a picture of them.

Quickly the four settle in front of the camera. Price in the middle, Ghost behind him and Gaz and Soap on his sides.

Just as the man is about to hit the camera button, the boys unexpectedly pounce on Price, engulfing him in a big loving hug.

They are laughing, their heads leaning against each other, their arms interlocked,

and he never felt more at home.

[canpandaspvp]

(NOTE: this was a draft i made a few months ago about a running joke i'd been planning, in which i'd "die" because of the primeboys meetup. seeing as this will never happen, i'm choosing to let it go out into the world anyways to ring in the year because i cant stand the sight of it in my drafts anymore and i spent over 2 years making this joke to not post the conclusion. funny how primeboys died instead of me lol)

Last Will and Testament Of Glare Primeboyers:

Seeing as I, Glare Primeboyers, predict myself to pass away due to the meeting of Primeboys, I am drafting my final will to my loyal, devoted followers and mutuals. Upon the inevitable meeting, my digital death will likely occur as soon as I find out that Primeboys have met up in person. Due to this prediction, I am choosing to write my will now, because I know you all will miss me so, so very much since I am simply Amazing and The Best Ever. I hope you all mourn for the obligatory 24 hours (after which, I will resurrect because I am indestructible).

To my Primeboys followers and mutuals, I leave:

Half of my abominably large collection of Tommyinnit Merchandise (11 total pieces, you get 5)

My Dream Team 3 of a kind Crewneck that's like 2 sizes too small

The Disc earrings I bought because of them

To my Inniter followers and mutuals, I leave:

The other half of my extensive Tommyinnit collection (you get the other 6 pieces)

The compass I bought because of Clingyduo

My physical copy of Passerine

My yellow rose pins

My Twitch account - Please make sure to renew my Prime subscription every month for me.

To my Pandasblr followers and mutuals, I leave:

My tiktok collection of Sapnap edits

My instax camera and portable printer (please ONLY use this for Sapnap photos, he is the only person that should be photographed Ever)

If you do not fit in any of these categories, I leave:

The rest of my merch collection

Access to all the fanfiction that I never finished writing

DO NOT take my Sapnap hoodie. I would like to be buried in that.

You all may fight over ownership of my blog because I know it's just so desirable. Thank you for the memories, and I will miss you all for the 24 hours that I am (digitally) dead 🕊️🕊️🕊️

[por-siempre-aqui]

I decided to clean up a little so I opened a drawer and put it on the bed.

I found at least half a dozen cards from over the years Im guessing? I have no memory of these cards, like at all.

I opened each one up.

To me, it's like reading them for the first time.

I swear I read each one and I had no memory of these words of love that he wrote to me. I completely forgot he would get me a card and flowers whenever he could, and I hate surprises, but it was always the best gesture when he did this.

It wasn't an illusion, that's what I realized today.

Like we really really did love each other so much and it was genuine.

But then I also found a bunch of instax photos too, and it was of us at places we explored. And I could remember from those pictures was how uncomfortable I felt and how bad my anxiety was.

We had an argument at the beach and I cried and I ended up apologizing. But I wasn't really sorry. I just regretted whatever I did to start the argument.

Whenever we have had fights, he is extremely quiet and then out of nowhere extremely confrontational.

We are both tired of each other right now. I know I am. I need space. I hope that he gets his life together. And that's coming from someone who has no idea what it's like to have no one to turn to for help.

I don't have anything in my life together right now. I have to focus on me, so that's what I'm doing. I need to take care of myself, I need to cook for myself and keep showing myself love.

And you know what? I have already been feeling better. I am sad and I do feel uncomfortable. But I realized that I am also so used to feeling uncomfortable around him.

So many feelings. So many random moments of sadness and happiness and comfort and then complete annoyance.

He still hasn't apologized. He will never apologize. I probably have should him that he doesn't have to be sorry or agree with me at all.

He has his own opinions about me and I cannot control how he perceives me.

I know he loves me I never have ever doubted that he loves me. But he loves me in his own way, and I have tried so many times to straight up tell him how to love me. His corporate jobs stress him out.

He still doesn't have a car.

He hasn't filed his taxes in 4 years?

He doesn't have a drivers license, just an ID.

He doesn't care about my anxiety.

We have never taken a vacation or an overnight getaway together and we have been together for 4 years.

When we fight it always circles back to the same thing. We are both tired of feeling like we have to prove how much we love each other. And it shouldn't feel like a burden. And then there's the fact that I don't feel comfortable cuddling, my back always hurts 100% due to my weight gain and my old mattress.

A mattress that has been worn down by two large people sleeping on it.

There isn't enough room on the bed for both of us to sleep comfortably. That's one of the reasons I was getting a new bed. And the new bed is bigger so I get to feel extra alone in it. Super

But my bed will no longer have hay, crumbs or his pubes or his nail bits in it. There won't be random spills in my room anymore. The only mountain of clothes I will have will be mine!!

I want to get some steps for my dog so she can safely climb into bed with me. At least I have her. He won't even have her and that fucks me up to think about.

I want to believe that by having him move out he will get his shit together, and that's it. If something happens to him I will feel responsible. That's truly how I see it.

But I have asked him so many times to help me. Do the dishes, take out the trash, please do your laundry?! I mean come on dude. I can only tolerate that for so long.

Guess what I also stupidly opened up one of his drawers and saw a lot of the cards that I got for him?! Hahahaha.

I swear someone is setting me up.

Open that drawer, oh wow. Love cards with no date on them. They're not from last year or the year before. So I'm going to guess they are from 2020-2021. Some time after that he walked away from the first job and I didn't know how to respond to his depression.

I think I did the best I could. I definitely made excuses for him, and it is a difficult habit to break. I still do it.

But why am I so judgmental? I would have nothing without my parents help. Literally nothing. No place to live, no car and mostly no hope. I know people who would do their best to help me if I asked them. But I can't imagine ever being that at odds with my parents.

I'm tired of feeling unhappy. And I know I am unhappy in this relationship, in this living situation and I'm unhappy with myself. With who I am right now, i don't like myself. I'm lazy. I'm anxiety ridden. I haven't felt truly relaxed in too long. It has always felt like he was just a guest and I have never felt truly comfortable.

I wanted him so badly and when I got him I felt so lucky. But I didn't really, truly know him. I barely understand him, and yet I love him.

But I need to love me more. I have to love me more.

I was on my way to truly loving and accepting myself and I allowed myself to get lost and jaded and I silenced myself. I am just as responsible for the failure of this relationship. I didn't speak up when I first started to feel uncomfortable and suffocated. I saw him alone and I said hey stay with me. And that was that. I had to convince him, basically beg him and fast forward to today. My parents did start charging both of us rent a few years ago, but neither of us knows how to be financially stable. And we never talked about making a plan for our future. We liked to talk about stuff we wanted to do. But we never got around to doing much of it.

Which is fine by me, I'll figure out another way to go to these places. Because I want to go. And if not I'll try inviting friends. I gotta be social and I gotta go outside more. For me a walk around the block is all I need. Or an hour on the elliptical. I somehow feel like I will have more time and freedom to do what I want to do, when I want to do it.

I am terrified that I'm making a mistake. And that hurting him will be a somehow simply just piss him off. I can't control how he feels about me. But he can't control if I worry and I know I will get over it, and it will pass.

We don't have to try to be friends or acquaintances if he isn't willing. I'm not going to force a damn thing. I have been through that before. I'm just tired of him having no drive. I need someone who wants to work at growing and supporting each other. Someone who doesn't just call me out, but someone who does it in a loving way. Someone who I can be myself around.

I sure as hell don't have my shit together. I know I have a whole lot to work through. I'm going to try therapy at my campus and then I'll see where to go from there.

I hope we can connect from time to time. But I don't know if he will be willing to because I'm straight up kicking him out. I'm being generous because of his situation. I'm giving him time to gather money so he can have something saved up. But I don't want him to get the wrong idea. I really want him to take moving out seriously. That's the number one thing I need from him.

[photosfromdystopia]

““After the Games, they sent in planes. Dropped firebombs.” He hesitates. “Well, you know what happened to the Hob.” I do know. I saw it go up. That old warehouse embedded with coal dust. The whole district’s covered with the stuff. A new kind of horror begins to rise up inside me as I imagine firebombs hitting the Seam. “They’re not in District Twelve?” I repeat. As if saying it will somehow fend off the truth. “Katniss,” Gale says softly. I recognize that voice. It’s the same one he uses to approach wounded animals before he delivers a deathblow. I instinctively raise my hand to block his words but he catches it and holds on tightly. “Don’t,” I whisper. But Gale is not one to keep secrets from me. “Katniss, there is no District Twelve.”” Suzanne Collins, Catching Fire ••• The Hunger Games series ushered in the YA dystopian wave, and it is brutal and unflinching. Our introduction to Panem in The Hunger Games, and the way Collins developed it into Catching Fire and Mockingjay shocked young and adult readers alike. Literal children fighting to the death in a pageant meant to distract from the actual starvation in the districts while the Capitol and its citizens live in excess is almost unfathomable, but these books more closely reflect the world in which we live than any reader might be comfortable admitting. Within the brutality of this world, we have a remarkable hero who will do anything to survive, and to protect her family. The new system threatens to repeat Panem’s past history, and Katniss, ever-strategizing, has learned that systems are fragile, living beings. How do we ensure the new systems we create are better than the ones they are replacing? 📷: Instax Mini 40 EX D US, shot on Instax Mini black border film #photosfromdystopia #thehungergames #catchingfire #mockingjay #thg #suzannecollins #instaxmini40 #instaxmini40exdus #dystopia #dystopicliterature #dystopianfiction https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp8h9wUP4yI/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[doseofglyyycine]

Been a while. Sabi ko pa naman last year lagi na ako mag-update dito kaso bigla na lang ako nawala pala. Hahahaha. Eto na naman ako, nagbabalik. Chika ko lang mga ganap ko last year

I finish the Accelerator Program in TOA. Kahit resign na resign na ako ngayon, looking back, grabe talaga ang naging effect sa akin ng TOA. Life changing step. Financially wise, nakaluwag-luwag na rin talaga ako, di ko na-hit goals ko pero may ipon ako compared nung 2021 na wala talaga natira sa end of the year. Ang dami rin naidagdag sa knowledge ko as an Accountant. Dahil din dito, unti-unti naibalik ko na social skills ko. I gain friends.

Having this people by my side made it easier to survive night shift work life. Hanggang di na lang work life, pati personal life napagaan nila.

Since I gain back my social skills, I join the voluntary group for Leni-Kiko Campaign. Grabe rin effect sa akin nito. It made me do the things I didn't know I can do. Natuto ako makipag-usap sa mga di ko kakilala. Ipaglaban ang alam ko na tama. I learn to speak up. I learn to fight for other people. Nakakita ako ng hope for a brighter future kaya I really fight hard. Hindi nanalo pero hindi rin natalo. Lagi at lagi ko pa rin dala lahat ng natutunan ko.

Dahil nga nakaluwag-luwag na sa buhay, nakakabili na ako ng mga gusto ko. Nakakain ng masarap kapag gusto ko. Nakakapagbakasyon pag gusto ko. Nakakapagrelax. Kaya sa nagsasabi na money can't buy happiness, akin na pera nyo. Hahahahahaha! Best buy of the year - my dream Converse shoes at ang Instax Mini Evo huhu. Malaking check sa bucket list ang converse shoes tas gusto ko na rin talaga magkameron ng Instax. Blessing na rin na Mini Evo ang nabili ko.

Isa sa biggest blessing ay unti-unti na ulit bumabalik ang mga concerts at gigs. Syempre unang gig after more than 2 years, Munimuni pa rin. Tapos nasundan na ng mga free ganap haha. Ngayon year, goal ko maka-1 gig or con per month. Hihi

One thing I love the most this year e I spent more time with family and friends. I am so done of hiding and spending time alone, crying. I found the joy of living again. I know 2022 is not my best year yet but this is definitely one of the greatest. Siguro pwede ko to tawagin na comeback year. :)

I'm scared for what this year will bring me pero I'm also looking forward to it.

[koumpi365]

07.06.2020

[tapedsleeves]

ts’s hrpf fic masterpost

all business baby (none of the hype) - tyler seguin / michael raffl (Dallas Stars) - wc: 5448, rated T (for tyler, thee slut) - Tyler invites Michael to stay with him until he gets settled in Dallas.

and the idea of - carter hart / travis konecny (Philadelphia Flyers) - wc: 3571, Rated T (for the grinder / personal chef au) - Carter Hart has got one Hookup That Got Away - The Hookup and the extremely good quiche. It's definitely the quiche that he misses most. Definitely.

you’re the only one (who can calm me down) - jack eichel / robin lehner (Vegas Golden Knights) wc: 7270 - rated E (for eichelfuckin, y’all)  Jack asks for a scene, with a welcome surprise: lingerie. Featuring: Robin putting Jack in lingerie, making him rub off against his arm, with bonus face-fucking and slapping!

if you let it be right - mark stone / max pacioretty (Vegas Golden Knights) - wc: 717, rated T (for the beginning of a theme for me) - Just a cozy comfortable 6167 snippet to help us deal with *waves hands at everything*

a little too late to do the right thing now - mark stone / max pacioretty (Vegas Golden Knights) wc: 2681 rated T (for that’s not how you propose, mark) - Mark asks Max to go to a wedding with him, later in the summer. (It’s their wedding.)

meet you in thin air - mark stone / max pacioretty (Vegas Golden Knights)  wc:437 rated T (for the most comfort)  Mark soothes Max’s anxiety

dinner and a show - mark stone / max pacioretty (Vegas Golden Knights)  wc:798 rated T (for hand kissing!) Max covers for Mark during press after the 'fight.' 

sting and honey - mark stone / max pacioretty (Vegas Golden Knights)  wc:338 rated T (for hurt/comfort) - Mark takes care of Max while he's hurt 

some kind of tomorrow - mark stone / max pacioretty (Vegas Golden Knights)  wc:338 rated T (for sleep staring) Max wakes up in Mark's bed for the first time.

soft as it began - mark stone / max pacioretty (Vegas Golden Knights)  wc:1101 rated T (for coda to the 12/27/21 game where Max said “fuck” really loudly) Max coming home to Mark, who comforts him about it & the future, a little.

somewhere between you and me - mark stone / max pacioretty (Vegas Golden Knights)  wc:100 rated T (for i actually did a drabble!) old men flirting over golf.

everyone deserves a crown of light -  mostly gen, mark stone, max pacioretty, zach whitecloud, nic hague, nic roy, dylan coghlan, william karlsson, jonathan marchessault, reilly smith, jack eichel, robin lehner (Vegas Golden Knights)  wc:611 rated G (for guys, this is so cute) A series of 5 instax pictures taken by various knights that mark keeps in his wallet to show people like a proud, but weird, dad.

[ohthatsmyaesthetic]

IN THE EVENING THERE IS FEELING

[chaos-writes]

The Lost Boys: Road Trip

Based on one of the most vivid dreams I've ever had. Word count: 2,255. Implied romance with the boys and Star. Tw: none.

“I’ve always wanted to travel and go sight-seeing without any real objective, like moving,” said Lucy, in a dream-like tone. I chimed in, “I’ve had a cross-country road trip planned out for quite a while, but I’ve never had anyone to do it with.” “Oh really?” Lucy asked, “Where to?” “Well, it’ll be a round trip with touring both going and coming back. I'm hoping to go through Nevada, Utah, Colorado, Kansas, Missouri, Kentucky, then we’ll go north, through Ohio, and Michigan, then come back home through Wisconsin, Minnesota, North Dakota, Montana, Idaho, Oregon, then through the top of California all the way back home.” “Oh my goodness! That sounds like a dream, but also a lot of gas money,” Lucy exclaimed. We laughed.

 

“It really would be, but I have the money saved up in a debit account, so hopefully it'll cover it. There’s also hotels, toll bridges, food, water, all that fun stuff,” I giggled. “But it would be worth it, I have tons of film for my instax camera, and a couple journals to write down my experiences.”

I gestured to her, “I have a couple extras for people that want to tag along,” Lucy smiled but quickly frowned, “Oh, I would love to go, I really would, but I have to work and look after the boys and their grandfather,” she mused. I chimed in, “It doesn't just have to be you, you know, I’ve got quite a few people in mind who could benefit from traveling.” “Well, I'll have to check with my boys and my boss. I’ll let you know if I can or can’t as soon as possible,” lucy said, with a look of disappointment in her eyes. I nodded in understanding and smiled, “Well, whenever you do let me know, I wouldn’t be upset if it was a no. I would be sure to share every detail with you, though.” “Oh, thank you for understanding, it means a lot to me!” “No problem. Well, I guess I'll be on my way then,” I said as I opened the front door.

We said our goodbyes and I headed out on my motorcycle to go and see the boys. It’s getting dark enough out where they should be slowly getting up by now. I wonder if Laddie and Star are there, too. They usually are, but sometimes they’re out and about, since they can handle sunlight a bit better than the rest. I park my bike and I can hear distant yawning and mumbling from where I'm standing at the cave entrance. They all start to float out and stretch one by one, Dwayne being first, Marko being second, David being third, and Paul being last. Of course Paul is last, he’s the heaviest sleeper. This road trip would be nothing to him, if they all agreed, that is. I just have to do some convincing.

Marko slipped his jacket and boots on, and the rest followed suit. They’re all quiet when they first wake, that’s why I don't ‘show up’ until I start hearing conversation and laughing. However, I’ve got to wait for the perfect time to come in, when they’ve been talking for a while and can actually think. “I wonder what Michael’s been doin’” I hear Paul say. “I don’t know Paul,” David sighed. “Maybe he’s been avoiding us…” He paused for a minute, then said, “Anyone hungry yet?” a wave of “not me’s” and “mm-mm’s” spread across the cave. I hear Dwayne grab a torch, light it, and begin lighting the cans all around the cave. The -now illuminated- boys begin bantering about who they should target next and what they plan to do for the day- well, night.

As a result, I put on my big-kid pants and stepped into the cave. They all turned to me, Marko exclaimed, “Hey! There you are!” “Hey guys,” I said, waving. Laddie ran up to me and hugged me from the side. I patted his back and ruffled his hair. Star smiled at me as she greeted me with a wave. I smiled back. Marko and Paul ran to me and squished me in their arms.

“I have something to share with you guys. An idea, really,” I said. All the boys looked at me in curiosity until David spoke up, “Well, what is this… idea of yours?” I beamed at all of them and said, “You all know how much I like going on adventures…” they looked even more puzzled now. “So, how about I take everyone on a really big adventure? A road trip!” They looked contemplative, as if they were considering going or not. “I could go alone…” Paul's and Marko's eyes widened, “But I much prefer having company with me, especially on trips like these.” Dwayne piped up, “So... where would we be going?” I smiled and pulled out a map, “How about I show you guys?”

The boys, Laddie, and Star crowd around behind me as I point around a U.S. map and explain where we’re going and what I'm planning on doing. I point all over the map and across the northern states. "We can add on a couple more destinations if you'd like… this is just more of the baseline plan." "Are we going to any big cities?" Marko asked. "Hell yea! And we're gonna go touring at night and see all the pretty lights and stuff. It'll be so fun!" "I'm down!" Paul says. "Me too!" Dwayne chimed in. "I wanna go!" Laddie exclaimed. Star smiled, and turned to David. The rest of us followed suit. This… is it.

I smiled at David and asked, "So, leader of the pack, are you in?" He paused. We cautiously awaited his answer. Laddie's eyes met David’s as he silently pleaded to go. David finally broke, smiled, and said, "alright. When are we leaving?" The cave uproared in a fit of whooping and hollering, mainly thanks to Marko and Paul, and Star picked Laddie up and twirled him around. "You won't regret this!" I said to David over the noise. "Well, I'm actually looking forward to it." He said. 

We left to go grab a bite to eat, the boys did their thing and I took Laddie and Star to a little Italian place on the boardwalk to eat. I told the boys to meet us there when they were done. “You sure about all this?” Star asked. “Absolutely! I like having an adventure crew. I'll admit though, it's gonna be a little different with a youngin' on board,” I laughed.

After a while, Lucy finally agreed to go with our party and told her boys to look after one another. We all packed our clothes and bought some more for the boys. They needed clothes that were fit for the amount of walking. I also couldn’t let anyone see my boys in blood-stained clothes in public, we’ll look like we got in some freak accident. I rode my motorcycle and directed the boys to my place, where we have a big Volkswagen bus parked out front, fit for a party of eight. Lucy is already there after a phone call telling us she would meet us at my place. We packed our bags into the trunk, all 4 boys could fit their bags into one suitcase with vacuum seal bags, Star and Laddie share a backpack, Lucy has her own suitcase and I have my own backpack. There's a box of toiletries for us all, except for Lucy, who decided on keeping everything of hers separate from the others, which is fair enough. 

It was 9pm, and we made sure everyone went to the bathroom and was all taken care of before we took off. The first drive is twelve-and-a-half hours, from Santa Carla to Salt Lake City, Utah. We toured the entire city on foot for a few hours, and decided on the next driver to take us to our next destination. Before we left Salt Lake, I put all the pictures I took into a scrapbook and wrote down the notes of what happened that day. “Hey, guys? If you want a journal to write anything down about the trip, I have a few extras here! And we can go over everyone’s journals and keep them in a safe space after the trip!” I said, as we all piled into the bus. David, sitting in the same row as me, turned to me and said, “I’d like to document what i’m experiencing. It’s a good idea, considering we’ve got a lot of…time left” he paused. I gave an understanding nod and handed him a journal. Star, from the third row, said, “i’ll take one!” 

We continued across the country and journaled, and took as many pictures as possible. I will never forget how genuinely happy all the boys were, they were so used to the boardwalk and now they get to go places. Laddie would bounce around happily when we toured around on foot. Star and Lucy spent their time quietly admiring land and cityscapes. The boys would get rowdy and restless at night, desperate to get in a fight or two. I've had to intervene more than I want to admit. But overall, they were well-behaved and did great throughout the trip.

The most precious memory to me, though, is when Dwayne, Paul, and Laddie grabbed me to go for a walk. At this point we were in Cincinnati, we checked in a hotel for a couple days, just on the water. A few of us wanted to go walk on the Purple People Bridge before we left. It was getting dark out, so we held close together. We walked across the bridge, Dwayne carried Laddie piggyback style and Paul and I were walking close by. We got down far enough on the bridge that we were close to the water. The sound of the river was calming, less rapid than the water outside the cave. I pointed out all the boats on the water to Laddie and we watched the water and the city in front of us.

What the boys didn't know was there was an event going on in the city. Some sort of charity event, I was never really sure about that part, but what I did know was the boys were really gonna like it.

"Hey, let's stay here for a bit. We're not in a hurry!" I said. "Umm… alright then," Dwayne said. Paul looked at me in confusion, but didn't say anything. Laddie was falling asleep on Dwayne's back, but Dwayne didn't seem to mind.

Soon, lights flicker on, one by one, lighting the whole city in blue. "Look Laddie!" I said while tapping his arm. He hopped off of Dwayne's back and stared at the illuminated city. All of Cincinnati was now an icy blue, and I will never forget the look of wonder in Laddie's eyes. Paul and Dwayne shared the same look as well. We were all starstruck as the night sky before us lit up in a beautiful blue. Paul's smile slowly grew and he giggled. I looked at him with a questioning look.

He turned to me, and said,"Thank you. This is… was, amazing. I don't think you know how much I appreciate you. This…" I smiled and wrapped my arms around his waist. We held each other close as the city behind us twinkled and glowed. Footsteps came alongside us, the rest of the party decided to try and find us. "Looks like you and Paul are having fun," David said. I wasn't even mad at the joke this time. "We really are, why don't you join us?" I asked. David smiled and ran his fingers through my hair. He wrapped his arms around me from behind as I was hugging Paul, so I was sandwiched between them. Marko stood beside us all. David saw and invited him into the middle with me. I turned around and squeezed Marko as the others adjusted.

Laddie was excitedly pointing out every detail to Star, Dwayne and Lucy and bouncing in pure joy. "Laddie seems to be enjoying this the most. I'm so happy I get to show him these beautiful places." I said. "I will never forget the look on his face for as long as I live."

The rest of the trip went smoothly. We stopped in big cities, small towns, natural parks, and got to see part of Canada from the upper peninsula of Michigan. I wrote down two journals' worth of notes and had to buy another scrapbook to fit all the pictures I took. 

Surprisingly, the whole party responded well to the really long drives we did. When we made it home and said our goodbyes to Lucy as she drove to her own home, it was like this weight was lifted off of us as we stepped into the cave. No more stress of travel, a place to stretch your legs, a place to just be... in peace. Laddie hugged me as Dwayne went around and lit the cave up. "Thank you so much," he said. "You're welcome, little dude!" I said. "Yeah, thank you!" Marko and Paul chimed in. Star walked up to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. "Thank you for doing all of that for us," she said. "You really didn't have to." "I know, but I love you guys. The least I can do for you is take you on one of my adventures." 

[bokutoslittlebird]

oh please that's so cute but ofc fight between couples is inevitable and when that happens what would s/o do 🥺

im planning on availing an instax printing service, its worth one dollar per instax akdhsjjs im telling this because im planning to you know bokuto's picture aodjskdjsjjw please

BRO LIVIN THE LIFE UP IN HERE I have a powerpoint presentation of bokuto and Shōto todoroki manga panels that I look at when I’m sad and not watching the training camp for the twentieth time because I can’t stop staring at Bokuto’s fine ass

I don’t know which pair is fighting, so I’ll do all of them!

Bokuto v. Akaashi : hardly fight, usually only raise their voices at each other when one of them is super stressed or one of them crossed a line (maybe getting physical when they get jealous [Bokuto]). S/o usually calms them down by literally turning on the waterworks because shouting at them makes them more pissed off, trying to get their attention by touching them ends with the other one getting more upset (“choosing a favorite”). Once calmed, they are able to talk things out and decide what to do from that point on, but Bokuto and Akaashi can agree that they don’t like seeing their s/o cry.

Bokuto v. S/O : Never lasts long, is usually over Bokuto’s jealousy and insecurities. Maybe he saw her getting friendly with Atsumu when she brought him lunch that day and almost started a fight. Maybe she didn’t give him cuddles that day, it could be something trivial. Sometimes it’s not trivial, like maybe she’s stressed and calls him stupid or something insulting. She tries to take it back and apologize, but he usually shuts himself away to cool off or snaps and yells at her. Hearing her yelp and tear up makes him cry, though, so Akaashi is usually the middle man. I love this man to death but if he raised his voice at me I would literally be on the floor in tears

Akaashi v. S/O : the rarest of the rare fights. It only happens when Akaashi is really stressed, him getting snappy and quick with his retorts. Bokuto usually holds her to make her feel better, and Akaashi apologizes to her later. That’s a good day. The bad days are when he’s stressed AND she’s stressed. She’s sarcastic and pessimistic, he’s snappy and rude, it just clashes. He says something hurtful and she shoots with something right back, making it turn into a shouting contest. They scream at each other until their throats hurt, but it’s all they can do. Bokuto doesn’t like it when they’re both stressed because it’s like they’re a lit fuse, ready to blow. He doesn’t get in the middle of it either, usually ordering takeout and putting in a movie so when they’re exhausted and both of them cry a bit, he’s there to hold them and let them just calm down.

[troop-scoop]

Mistakes & Regrets XX

Summary: When a trip to your Dad’s hometown of Hawkins goes wrong, you end up in the year 1983, and have to learn how to cope with being stuck in the past.

Pairing: Steve Harrington / Future!Reader (like, a really slow burn)

Warnings: Swearing probably,

• • •

The sounds of crickets and the distant sound of an owl somewhere in the woods was pretty much the only things you could hear from your position by the control box. Other than the occasional very soft sound of someone’s clothing moving as they moved or shifted their weight. 

Lucas was next to you, leaning against the box. Everyone had remained silent after Jonathan and Nancy got into the car and drove up to the lab. 

“Is Will your dad?” He asked in a hushed voice.

Looking down at Lucas, his arms were crossed, and he was looking up at you with a mixed look of frustration and sadness. 

“What makes you think that?” Your voice was equally as quiet.

“You fell through a hole, ended up in the Upside Down and then crawled out in a different time period, that is, if you’re telling the truth. And you just said that you and Jonathan are family. “

Looking down at the pavement you sighed a bit, lifting up your backpack that was mostly empty. But, Steve forgot to empty out the smallest pocket in the bag, where you usually kept your school ID, and some extra cash in a wallet. It was the same one you’d had from home. 

Taking the pale faux yellow wallet out, you zipped it open, hesitating for a second, looking at the middle compartment you always refused to open. 

But, by all rights except blood, Lucas was your uncle. He’d sneak you cash at theme parks whenever all of you got together for the summer. You still remembered your fathers telling him he didn’t need to, and yet, he persisted. 

Opening the center compartment of the wallet you pulled out a small photo taken from an instax camera, of you and your dad. Often you forgot you had it. 

You didn’t look at it, but you just handed it to him. You’d been in sixth grade at some place for a field trip that he volunteered to chaperone. 

Lucas took it from you and looked at the photo. Your hair had been cut short, and you were clearly younger in the photo. And your dad had a smile on his face, an arm around your shoulders in a protective manner, his hair loosely styled, so a strand was in his face. 

And ever since this young version of your uncle Lucas met you, he thought you actually looked truly happy. Unbothered, like a normal kid with normal dreams and oblivious to the future or past she’d have to endure.

“This is Will?” It was obvious, but he still asked anyway, feeling the need to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. 

“Yeah. That’s my dad.” 

“Who’s your mom?”

Shaking your head a bit you closed your wallet, not taking the photo back. “Her name’s Anne.” 

“Don’t you want this?” He asked, holding the photo out to you. Looking at it for a split second you could almost hear the clanging of a baking sheet while your dad placed it on the stove to make those halloween cookies every year. And you could see the burnt edges creeping towards the pumpkin in the center. It was no secret that Will was a good cook, but terrible at baking and trying to put premade things in the oven. 

“Not really.” 

“But he’s your dad-”

“And I don’t know him anymore.” It was dramatic, but it was true. It had been over a year since you last saw him as you wanted to remember him. If you’d known that being in that restaurant would be the last time you’d see him, you wouldn’t have yelled at Pa, you would’ve taken it all in, you would have said your goodbyes, and tried to remember how your fathers and little brother looked in the moment. 

You went over to Steve who was leaning against the yellow post at the other side of the box, hitting the butt of the flashlight on his palm. “Hey,” You breathed out.

Looking up at you, he smiled a bit. “Hi,” 

“Guys?”

Max was staring at the drive that lead up to the lab, and you could hear the sound of tires against the pavement. Looking over you saw Jonathan’s car and Hopper’s truck speeding towards them. 

Reaching over you grabbed Max as Steve grabbed Lucas and Dustin, pulling them out of the way. Jonathan sped past you, but Hopper stopped, looking at you five through the open passenger window. 

“Let’s go!”

Steve opened the door, rushing you and the middle schoolers into the back, with the three of them behind you, and you, leaning between the two front seats, as Steve got into the passenger side.

“What the fuck’s going on?”

“The gate, it’s wide open, and letting things through.” 

“Jesus.”

• • •

Sitting on the edge of the bathtub you had your head in your hands, only seeing your knees, the tile, and a few strands of hair that fell around your face in a type of curtain. 

You were convinced that from the day you were born, you’d admired and looked up to your dad. He was one of many male figures in your life. He gave you good morals, and taught you to be strong, how to be you, and not to let anyone control you. 

His biggest fear when you were growing up was that a man would try and control you, or that anyone who had a power dynamic with you, would try and manipulate you. But he was always paranoid. 

You had another thing to admire him for- bringing two kids into a world that he knew was fucked. Being confident enough in himself and Pa that they could protect you and Daniel. That you wouldn’t get hurt. 

Closing your eyes you concentrated, lowering yourself onto the floor, hugging yourself and grasping onto Steve’s jacket. You wanted to know how he’d done it. Gotten through such a fucked up time in his life at such a young age. How any of them did. Mike, Dustin, Lucas, Max. You were older, and all you wanted to do was close your eyes and disappear. 

Opening your eyes, everything around you was black, with about an inch of water around your feet. But ahead of you, you could see a familiar looking table, with familiar looking cookies, and a few pieces of cloth on the table. 

You saw your uncle Dustin sitting at the table, while your uncle Lucas sat across from him. 

“Should we tell them?” Lucas asked, looking down at something beside him. Slowly walking over, you could see a stroller next to him, an older baby in the seat, dressed in yellow and pink, with a blue sippy cup gripped tightly in their hands. They were maybe a year old. 

“You’re insane.” Dustin responded.  

Finally you placed it. It was one of the tables at the coffee shop you’d always gone to on Fridays with your dad. And the cloth on the table was a set of dirty baby clothes that had been neatly folded. 

“What?”

“We can’t. You know that. Will’s already terrified enough as it is, you don’t want him turning their condo into a baby friendly prison, do you?” 

Lucas’ face changed a bit as he looked down at the baby again. You could hear a muffled voice call out an order, and watched as Dustin got up, leaving Lucas sitting with an infant who was half asleep. 

He leaned over to the baby, unbuckling them from the seat and pulling them into his arms. “Hey, princess.” He greeted her with a sad smile. He stayed quiet, letting the baby lean against his shoulder, the sippy cup still in a death grip, almost empty, and you assumed that the infant was just a little too happy about having been given what looked like apple juice

But when you looked at her arm, you saw the birthmark you once had, the one that, after you burnt your arm, disappeared. 

It was you. 

You were a chubby baby.

Who wouldn’t let go of her juice even though Lucas tried to put it on the table. 

“Okay, I won’t take it.” He relented, pushing her messy hair back, watching as she began to drink from the bottle. “You’re gonna be strong one day, you know that?” He was quiet about it. “One of the strongest women I ever met. And brave.”

The baby looked up at him, done drinking.

“You remain kind, somehow. You’re going to be so loving and compassionate that sometimes, it’s annoying. You’re gonna save a lot of people, so don’t hold onto the guilt, don’t let it hurt you, or hold you back. You’re gonna go-”

“Y/n?” Opening your eyes, Steve was kneeling down in front of you. “Do you know what the hell a Mind Flayer is?” 

Furrowing your eyebrows, you nodded. You played DnD so often before that you knew plenty of the creatures, and the bosses you could fight, not to mention your dad talked about them all the time when helping you plan DnD games with the four friends you would hang out with. “Yeah, it takes over people’s brains. Wants to conquer shit like It's a British empire, why does that matter?” 

Looking over to the doorway you saw almost everyone peaking into the bathroom, staring at the two of you. 

“Steve? What’s going on?” 

Looking back at Steve, you saw that he was looking at them too, a hand holding your arm before he focused on you. “Did you have episodes? Like Will’s?” 

You nodded, slowly. Sitting up a bit more, your hand grabbing the one on your arm. How did he know about those? Did somebody tell him?

“When did they stop?” 

“A day or two, after Halloween.”

“Did you have one on Halloween?” Mike asked, suddenly pushing past Dustin and into the room, next to Steve. 

The memory of sitting in your shower, sobbing before it ended and you found Steve in your living room.

“Yeah. . . Why?”

“This Mind Flayer. . . you said it felt like it wanted to kill you?” Hopper asked.

“Wait, are we calling that weird cloud thingy Will and I saw a Mind Flayer?” You inquired. 

Everyone looked at each other, exchanging looks. But then you realized what Hopper said about Will. And the day he started acting weird. The same day you had your last episode. 

“It’s in Will, isn’t it? So. . . if it spies on us, through Will. . . is he gonna try and kill me?” 

“That’s the leading theory.” 

Within a few minutes, you were tucked away in a corner of the kitchen, looking out the window as the shed was basically torn apart, with everything pulled out, so they could take Will in there. 

You didn’t know why the Mind Flayer wanted to hurt you, if it even did. But you were scared, and as usual, you wanted your dad. 

Watching as Steve and Nancy helped Hopper take everything out, you climbed onto the kitchen counter, basically sitting in the empty sink and taking in the backyard that would be a pain to clean up. 

What was El up to? Last you saw her, you told her to ‘call’ you if Hopper agreed to trick or treating. And by call, you meant manipulating your radio in the Volkswagen. But that never happened and so you didn’t get to take her trick or treating like she wanted to. 

“Steve compared the Mind Flayer to Germans.” Jonathan spoke up, walking over to you , handing you a glass of water. 

“You mean. . . Arian Nazies?” You furrowed your brows, looking up at your uncle who shook his head. 

“No, I mean Germans. He said Germans. Dustin called him on it.” Smiling a bit you nodded, looking down at the ice water. Steve could have stupid moments. Especially when he hadn’t gotten sleep since the night before, when you’d gone to Dustin’s cellar. 

A comfortable silence took over, except for the rustling outside where they were setting the shed up to hold Will in. But you knew something was on Jonathan’s mind. You were family after all. 

“What’s wrong?” You asked, looking over to him. 

He shrugged, shaking his head a bit. He fought with himself for a split second before finally talking. “You’ve been here for over a year, and it’s kinda obvious to everyone.” 

“What’s obvious?” You asked, an amused smile on your face while you tilted your head. 

He gave a look, reaching out to your arm and tugging a bit at the sleeve of the jacket. “It’s like 50 degrees outside, and he still let you keep the jacket, even though the radiator’s on.”

You shrugged, “Steve’s forgetful, and when he’s tired he doesn’t seem to remember what kind of weather it is outside.” excusing it you looked at the window, not quite knowing what Jonathan was trying to get at. 

“You know that about him. According to Nancy he knows you usually get from the gas station, and that your favorite movie is Red Dawn after he took you to see it-”

“Nancy wouldn’t have gone, it’s a war movie-”

“Y/n,” he started in a firm, yet affectionate tone as he took the glass from you, setting it on the counter. “You’ve been friends since last year, and he cares about you. A lot.” You were going to say that it was because you were friends, but you knew he would have stopped you. 

“You’re both oblivious.” he scoffed in an amused tone, handing you the water again, before walking out into the backyard. 

Hopping out of the sink, you followed after him, leaving the glass. 

Zipping up the jacket you caught up with Jonathan, grabbing onto his arm and following him to the clothes line where Joyce was taking clothes down so they could use the rope. 

“Jonathan, what are you talking about?” 

You were confused, and frankly? A bit worried. Everything that was going on, and Jonathan was being cryptic and ominous about your friendship with Steve. Talking about the way you guys treated each other and knew things and trusted each other in ways that plenty of other people didn’t. 

Like how you knew that when he cried, it sounded like his entire heart was shattering, and that he wouldn’t be able to put it back together. And how you trusted him to get you home when you were drunk off your ass on New Years eve. How he trusted you enough to share things he usually didn’t, so much to the point where he’d cry in front of you and go to you for comfort, just like you would with him, if everything ever made you cry didn’t revolve around your biggest mistake. 

Oh.

Oh.

Oh no.

Stopping dead in your tracks, you were sure you looked like a deer caught in headlights, clinging onto the hem of the jacket, and staring at the wet grass. 

Was it obvious to everyone else? That you’d trust Steve with your life more than your grandma? More than Hopper? Was it obvious because you didn’t hesitate to punch him when he was being homophobic with Jonathan after committing a hate crime? A hate crime that you tried to make him go fix, that he eventually did after running from the cops. 

Was it obvious because you forgave him so quickly right afterwards? 

You didn’t know where it started or where it ended. 

Was Jonathan implying that you had feelings for your best friend who, time wise, was almost forty years older than you, but biologically only two? 

Or were you making that up in your head? Drawing assumptions of what other people thought without reason? 

But if that was what Jonathan thought, then did you have feelings for Steve? 

No, no of course not, he was just a friend. Right?

• • • 

@disneyprincessbuffyannesummers​ @nxncywheeler​ @yllwtaxi​ @songofcosplay​ @potatopooper05​ @cheesecakeisapie @robinsdolan​ @yall-wildin-like-siriusly​  @bisexualpears​ @ilovebucketbarnes​ @random-thoughts-003​ @mochminnie  @abbyg217​​ @stevexscoops​​ @cashmereandtears​​ @iris-suoh​​  @supred12​

[hazygrains]

Adios, 2020!

I guess this will be my late year-end post. You see, I am not really good at putting my thoughts into words, so I’ll try to summarize how my 2020 went.

It was definitely a tough year. A hellish year. A lot happened, and at the same time, not much happened. All the calamities, deaths, brutality, injustice, and government incompetence we experienced before and during this pandemic made us all mad. Being in lockdown and quarantine for months didn’t help either. Everything suddenly came to a halt. We were all stuck and helpless at one point. I, too, almost had a meltdown. I felt burdened, weary, and stressed. Since I am not the kind of person who’s comfortable sharing my feelings and showing my vulnerability, I tried so hard to keep my emotions in check and everything at bay. That deserves a pat on the back. I’ve always been like this, and I’m grateful for being able to endure everything and still remain sane after. I know that’s not the case for everyone, so I just hope you guys are still there, fighting.

This year taught me to always be grateful for everything, and simply for being alive. We don’t know what lies ahead. We might be here today and gone tomorrow, and that's scary. The virus is still out there, and I just hope that we can all be responsible citizens to survive this pandemic. Let’s all adjust to this new normal of wearing masks and face shields, and practicing social distancing. And I guess, for now, we’ll be alright.

List of the things I was looking forward to but COVID19:

My aunt and cousin vacation from Germany to the Philippines – March

One Ok Rock Concert – May 02

Palawan, El Nido Trip – November

More travel getaways, activities, and events

Things I’m grateful for:

Loved ones, few friends who have stuck with me, my niece – Rosha Eve

The simple things

Good movies/series, good songs, good reads, good food, good coffee

Online deliveries

My job and work stuff I invested in (PC, work tables)

Newfound hobby: Pottery

My mugs/cups collection (started in August and now I have 43 mugs)

Love-hate relationship with the internet/socmed

Being healthy and alive!!

photos taken using instax during my holiday off. it was so nice to be back home and to have spent it with my family.

[kwentongclengguh]

I’m about to go crazy

Here I am, writing my heart out, again. It’s been months/years (?) since I’ve written so much from my head. Either I wrote it on a piece of paper and then threw that paper to trash, or even burnt it for no one to see my thoughts - or, typing my heart out here, or at WordPress. I’ve forgotten what it feels like.

I’ve forgotten the feeling of being in love, it’s almost about three years since my last relationship and my mind is puzzled. How can I possibly lost someone I’ve loved but, at the same time, hate for hurting me? Because, last time I remember, he’s one of the last people that would hurt me.. but years after, he chose to do a battle with his anxiety without me. Am I that bad? Am I that selfish that I want to fight his anxiety with me? After pushing myself to his limit, I never knew I was.. growing my own anxiety too.

I still think about him. I couldn’t say he’s never crossed my mind, after all.. he was one of my firsts. First travel companion out of the city, first driver I’ve ever had during dates, first sunflowers, first instax camera, first legal boyfriend, and first sexual desires I wanted to fill me in with after marriage. But things just don’t go the way they planned, eh? 

I’m happy for him. He’s found that person beneath that yellow umbrella, his living Tracy in How I Met Your Mother. The love of his life. His person. Hindi na masakit, and at least masaya sya. Walang halong biro.

Wala lang. The only reason I’m writing this is because I want to be in love too, once again. Gusto kong sabihin na hindi na ako takot masaktan ulit. Gusto kong sabihin na hindi na ako takot humarap sa mga pagkakataong kaya ko nang piliin yung taong mamahalin ko behind his shadows. Gusto kong sabihin na matapang na ako. Buo na ang loob kong piliin pa rin ang taong mamahalin ko ulit, kahit na ibig sabihin non mauubos ulit ako. Basta lalaban din sya. Dahil hindi naman ako perpekto. Hindi rin ako isang anghel na pinadala ng Diyos para ayusin ang isang bagay sa mundo. Gusto ko lang maging masaya ulit. Yung saya na makikita ulit sa mga mata kapag ngumingiti ka. Yung saya na araw-araw sasabihin kong pipiliin kita. Gusto kong maramdaman ulit kung paano magbuhos nang pagmamahal sa isang tao. Hindi na ako natatakot. Kaya ko nang humarap ulit. Kaya ko nang maging instrumento ng pagmamahal.