#instead of celebrating world goth day i got to work all day and then pack all night

[originalsuccubus]

breaking apart like I'm made up of glass again

[twentiethcenturymoviesandtv]

A Creepy Christmas Cultural Conundrum: The Lasting Legacy of The Nightmare Before Christmas

A request by @lcvcdbyhim.

If you traveled back in time to the year 1993 and told someone that Tim Burton’s new stop-motion animated film, The Nightmare Before Christmas, was going to be the biggest holiday movie in for the next twenty years, they wouldn’t believe me.  They just wouldn’t.

Of all of the holiday films of the 90s, Christmas or Halloween, nothing comes close to the cultural giant that is The Nightmare Before Christmas.  Even family favorites like The Santa Clause or Home Alone don’t get nearly the attention and praise that this film has.  Every year, from Halloween through Christmas, stores are packed with shirts, wallets, keychains, sneakers, backpacks, banks, toys, clocks, jewelry, decorations and more, all covered with images of Jack Skellington, Sally, Oogie Boogie, Zero, and other characters and images from the film.  Even outside of the holiday months, the more merchandise-driven stores still dedicate an entire section to The Nightmare Before Christmas, putting it on the same level as franchises like Star Wars or the various superhero films.

The question is, why?

Why has The Nightmare Before Christmas’s imagery become nearly as recognizable as images of classic monsters like Dracula and the Frankenstein monster?  How is this oddball little movie fast approaching How The Grinch Stole Christmas and other classic Christmas specials in terms of popularity?

There has to be a larger reason that simply being available to be marketed for two holidays instead of one.  

Today, we’re going to be taking a look at The Nightmare Before Christmas in an attempt to figure out where all the hype came from, and more specifically, why it’s still so popular.

But first, we need a little background.

When The Nightmare Before Christmas was first released in 1993, it received modest critical acclaim and a decent opening.  Right in the middle of Disney’s Renaissance period, a throwback to stop-motion wasn’t really thought of as being quite on the same level as animated films like Aladdin and The Lion King.  As a result, the movie did okay, but just….okay.

So what happened?

Very simply, The Nightmare Before Christmas gained a cult following.  Very quickly.

In the years that followed, The Nightmare Before Christmas started being praised as one of the greats in the animated film category.  People started watching it for part of their holiday tradition, around both Halloween and Christmas, and the further we are away from that mediocre opening, it seems the more people laud it as a work of art.  Stores like Hot Topic started selling so much Nightmare merchandise that now the imagery from The Nightmare Before Christmas seems to be the face of a new goth/emo trend.  In fact, since the film’s release, the movie has been put on a rather bizarre pedestal, with some fans lavishing enormous amounts of praise on this movie.  In a way, it seems like disliking it is unheard of.

To return to our earlier question, why?  It doesn’t seem like anything special.  There have been other ‘weird’ stop-motion films, such as Corpse Bride or Coraline.  The characters and story are simplistic, almost childish at times.  The music is good, sure, but with all the hype around it, the movie can very much seem….overrated.

Once again: Why?

It all boils down to uniqueness.

In 1993, Tim Burton was still relatively new to audiences.  Directing since 1985, his biggest hits had been the likes of horror-comedy Beetlejuice, superhero blockbuster Batman, and drama flick Edward Scissorhands.  In other words, the world was still being introduced to the styles that we are currently familiar with: use of Johnny Depp, score by Danny Elfman, stripes, German Expressionism, and pale-skinned, dark haired, sunken-eyed outcast protagonists.  Thanks to the sheer number of Signature Style Burton-esque films, The Nightmare Before Christmas no longer seems like anything all that special in terms of style of film, but at the time, it was something very new, distinct, and different.

The same goes for the stop-motion aspect.

The stop-motion ‘weird’ films that we are the most familiar with: (Corpse Bride, James and the Giant Peach, Frankenweenie, ParaNorman) have all come after The Nightmare Before Christmas.  Before Nightmare, stop-motion’s biggest claim to fame were the Rankin/Bass Christmas specials.  The Nightmare Before Christmas revolutionized and reawakened the style of filmmaking and started a new form of animation that is being used since.  Once again, it all comes down to that uniqueness of the time, especially when it applies to the story.

The story of The Nightmare Before Christmas, despite its aforementioned simplicity, is a rather unique one.  The idea came to Burton while watching Halloween decorations come down at the same time Christmas decorations were being put up, and the movie is really all about the juxtaposition between the holidays.  Jack Skellington, the king of Halloweentown, is dissatisfied with the ‘same old thing’ and decides to try something new.  The ‘new thing’ that captivates his interest turns out to be another huge holiday: Christmas.  Full of excitement at this strange new holiday, Jack decides to get the person in charge of Christmas out of the way (Santa Claus) and take Christmas for himself, assigning the denizens of Halloweentown the tasks necessary to bring about the festive holiday.

Being from Halloweentown, of course, Jack doesn’t fully understand Christmas, despite his frantic attempts to do so, and in the end, Christmas is a disaster, thanks to his botched interpretation of what makes the holiday.  In the end, Jack learns not to meddle with things he doesn’t understand, and the movie ends at around 75 minutes.

As basic as it is, the idea of one holiday trying to do another is pretty creative, as is the way it is done.  The concept of holiday worlds, based on the special day is extremely interesting, and it’s executed well.  In fact, when looking at the film for what and when it was, The Nightmare Before Christmas was actually very creative in everything, characters, the visual look, the way it was done, story, even the music by Danny Elfman is very fitting to the story and characters, and it’s all very catchy.

When contextualized into the time period it was made in, The Nightmare Before Christmas, for all it may seem stale and overdone now, was fresh and unique, noteworthy for being something audiences haven’t seen before.  

There’s more to the intense popularity of this film than quirkiness, though.

What I said earlier about the film being basic?  That is actually a point in its favor.

One of the remarkable things about The Nightmare Before Christmas is that, for having a reasonably complex concept, it’s execution is very simple.  The story never makes itself more complicated than it has to be.  It’s very straightforward, with no plot twists or surprises for the audience.  The direction the story takes is predictable, but that’s by no means bad.  Not only is the story uncomplicated, but the meaning is as well.

It isn’t hard for people to understand Jack’s predicament, nor is it difficult for even the youngest kid to know that his endeavors to make Christmas are doomed to failure, because they pick up that Jack does not understand what he is trying to do.  He has the feeling right, but he has no constructive direction to take it, and with a lack of understanding, ends up creating a mess.

Jack’s enthusiasm is for the holiday spirit, and it’s contagious, no matter which holiday you consider.  By never trying to ‘explain’ the good feelings of the holidays and just letting them be, The Nightmare Before Christmas actually continues a trend that one wouldn’t think it has much to do with at all.

In my opinion, the hype behind The Nightmare Before Christmas, especially in the up-and-coming generations, is much the same reason that Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is still talked about by the older generations.  The holiday feeling.

Jack experiences the joy of Christmas without knowing why.  Despite his best efforts, he cannot decipher the whys and wherefores of it, he just accepts that ‘just because I cannot see it doesn’t mean I can’t believe it!’.  This tone, this viewpoint towards the holiday of simply enjoying it, is reminiscent of Christmas specials like How the Grinch Stole Christmas or the Rankin/Bass stop-motion productions.  It evokes nostalgic feelings for the holiday.  The Nightmare Before Christmas is to the post 90s generation what the other animated Christmas specials were to the ones before it: the traditional, good-feelings, familiar celebration of the holiday.

Most importantly though, it’s a film that people enjoy watching.

With a unique concept, design, and execution, nostalgic feelings and holiday warmth, and it just being a generally fun, charming movie, it’s not really a true wonder why The Nightmare Before Christmas got as popular as it did.

Is it overhyped?  Yes.  

Does that make the movie itself any worse?  No.  It just means that audience expectations are affected by the culture around it, some for the better, some for the worse.

Of course, it’s not a movie for everybody.  Some will like it more than others.  Some might love it, some might hate it, and some might just be okay with it.  But that goes for any film.

The Nightmare Before Christmas is a cultural juggernaut, that’s for certain, and I doubt we’ll be seeing any fewer Oogie Boogie coin banks in the near future, but that’s more a reflection on the commercialism of film since 1977 (Thanks, George Lucas!) and how much people are willing to buy to reflect their tastes in film.  My point is, the movie is still popular enough that people buy stuff connected to it because they like it.

And that’s not a bad thing.  It’s a good movie, remarkably simple, but smart enough to hold up years later and continue to emotionally resonate with audiences.  It was something that no one had ever seen before at the time, and is packed full of enough distinctive style and imagery that it is still instantly recognizable as being from The Nightmare Before Christmas.  It’s an immensely popular film for a reason, and it’s not going away anytime soon.

Thank you all so much for reading!  If you have any thoughts, questions, comments, suggestions, or just want to say hi, feel free to leave them in the ask box, I’d love to hear from you.  I hope you guys enjoyed this article, and I hope to see you in the next one.

[heysimhey]

Play The Sims 2 in The Sims 4!

I've been simming since 2000 beginning with The Sims 1. Of all the versions of the game, The Sims 2 version has always been my favorite mainly due to the character stories. Even when The Sims 3 came out, I still was tied to the characters and stories of version 2 and it never quite felt right. Then The Sims 4 came out and I was excited to see the Goths, but the story line was "wrong". My beloved characters were missing. I played for a few years and then went back to 2. I loved the stories of 2, but the game play and graphics of 4. What's a girl to do?

Create the Sims 2 character and stories in the Sims 4? Yeah, that actually works for me....and was a lot of work as well.

I didn't bring over the characters from every world in TS2. The reason being, I never really cared for any of the other characters from the neighborhoods like Belladonna Cove, Riverblossom Hills or Desiderata Valley. In fact, I can honestly say, I never even bothered playing Desiderata Valley. I had enough drama with the main three (Pleasantview, Strangetown and Veronaville....and Bluewater Village).

But wasn't it crazy that with every neighborhood, you got a separate and exactly the same Bluewater Village from scratch? So a different Malcom Landgraab everytime. The Malcom Landgraab from Strangetown didn't know the Pleasantview folks and vice versa. I always found that wacky, so I picked the ML from Pleasantview to play with and abandoned the other dopplegangers.

And why couldn't the Goths know the Smiths? Why couldn't the Pleasants have a barbecue with the Monty's? Why couldn't sims from one neighborhood have friendships/rivalries and romances with sims from another neighborhood? Well, now they can! Pleasantview, Strangetown (Strangerville), Veronaville and Bluewater Village are all open and connected in The Sims 4! I even threw in some goodies like the Newbies and Mashugas from The Sims 1 and that mean ole Mrs. Crumplebottom!

I tried my best to find original renditions of their homes from TS2. As you know, aspirations have changed a little bit, but I tried my darndest to stay true to their aspirations from TS2 with the help of other personality traits along the side. I have already played the neighborhoods to the point of where TS2 begins, with the proper relationships established, ghosts deceased (check out Olive Specter's lil' grim garden *shudder*) and everyone in their proper lots.

Original sims who came with TS4 are still around somewhere in the neighborhood bin. I evicted most of them to make room for my characters. Below are details for each neighborhood that I put together.

Huge shout-out to Midnite Tech for creating the package file that allows us to edit our World names.

The packs I have installed currently are: Get to Work, Get Together, City Living, Get Famous, Discover University, Strangerville, Dine Out, Movie Hangout Stuff, Vintage Glamour Stuff, Tiny Living Stuff and Holiday Celebration.

I wish I could say this is Base Game compatible, but unfortunately, you will need these packs in order to have the full experience. I will be purchasing the other packs as I choose in the future, but for right now, I'm good.

About Pleasantview (Willow Creek)

The Goths, Pleasants, Calientes, Dreamers and Brokes are here and are cued as best as possible to their TS2 initial situations. I also included Bob and Betty Newbie from TS1, whom we later found out were Brandi's parents. Their relationship is also reflected in this file. The notorious maid, Kaylynn Langerak is also residing in Pleasantview and is bound to cause some ruckus.

About Strangerville (Strangetown)

The Smiths, Grunts, Curiouses, Beakers and Specters are in full play with the appropriate ghosts haunting Olive's lot. Bella was definitely abducted by aliens (although we can't view all of their memories anymore) and dropped in Strangeville just the same as Strangetown's TS2. She has a story of her own. Thankfully, you can easily decide to reunite her with her family, or let her start a new life. Caution, the neighborhoods are connected, so she is bound to run into one of her relatives.

*For WHATEVER reason, the file would NOT let me change the name of Strangerville to Strangetown.  It may have something to do with the whole Strangerville story line.  But I have seen others edit this.  Ah well.*

About Veronaville (Windenburg)

The Capp, Monty and Summerdream families are here with the Monty/Capp feud still going strong. Romeo and Juliette are still in love. Awwwww. I almost never played this neighborhood, but it just wouldn't feel right if I didn't include them.

About Bluewater Village (Newcrest)

The Landgraab, Tinker, Ramirez, Jacquet and Delarosa characters came on over with their aspirations. J'Adore Bakery is owned by the Jacquets, but I didn't create the other businesses.

About Downtown (San Myshuno)

This is where you will find the notorious Mrs. Crumplebottom. She is content in her little house right smack dab where it is and you better stay off her lawn. I heard Malcom Landgraab III offered her a ton of money to move so he could build a new skyrise. She refused to sell and clobbered him with her purse. So he built around her. Malcom Landgraab IV is terrified of her due to the fact that he remembers the huge knot his father had to nurse all those years ago, so he continues his father's legacy of building around her. She ain't budging.

About Twikkii Springs (Oasis Springs)(Twikkii Island)

I named this Twikkii Springs instead of Twikkii Island because Oasis Springs isn't really an island, so it didn't make much sense. So I modified it to be Twikkii Springs. I used Zerbu's World Type Changes mod to make Oasis Springs a destination world. The Mashuga's currently run things here in their token pink octogon house. At least, in my head they do. You can play this however you want. You can get the mod here or don't use the mod and play it as is.

Honorable Mentions

Del Sol Valley

I left these named the same as we didn't really have a fame expansion for TS2. I was tempted to name it Studio Town like in TS1, but that just sounded too "Toon-Town"ish, so nah, pass. I like Del Sol Valley.

Magnolia Promenade

I totally tried to rename this to Uptown Bluewater, but the game said nope. So Magnolia Promenade it is. Maybe one day the powers that bEA will be nice and allow us to freely rename our worlds....or is that wishful thinking?

*************

Majority of the lots that you see here in these worlds, I downloaded from the gallery. I won't feel bad at all if you wanna change things up.

The custom maps that I used for my worlds, you will have to install them separately in order for your neighborhoods to look like my pictures above.  You can get the maps here.

*************

DID I MISS SOMETHING?? I tried my best to make this as close to the original TS2 version as possible, but the human in me probably forgot a detail or two. Let me know!

{HOW TO INSTALL}

1. Download my save file here. (SFS not working? Get it here instead.)

2. Then copy the file from your downloads folder into this path: my documents/electronic arts/the sims 4/saves | NOT your mods, tray folder or any other folder.

3. When you open the game, you should see the file The Sims 2 Reprise. :)

{TERMS OF USE}

Feel free to use this save file and have fun with your sims. If you make a video, please let me know. I totally would love to see how others play with this world. I would appreciate a shout out too!

I'm @HeySimHey on Twitter and Instagram and HeySimHey on Youtube. I'll be glad to hear from you!

[clericofthebalance]

Life Needs Things to Live, Chapter Three

Class was going to be less of a struggle for Percy today.  Percy settled into his seat in his MW Lit class, one of his final core classes until he could fully focus on what he needed to graduate.  This was the only class he absolutely had to take at the university, something he couldn’t sub with community college classes for a much cheaper rate.

Only one thing made this class tolerable given the 8 AM start time and boring material.  He glued his eyes to the door, sipping his thermos of coffee, waiting patiently.  Finally, she floated in.

Long dark hair captured in a braid, the most beautiful smile he had ever seen, warm eyes that brought flames and autumn and the forest to mind.  She had a sharp and wickedly clever look to her face, joy radiating off every movement and gesture, unique to her very bones.  He adored how she wore blue feathers woven in her hair, how piercings lined her ears, how she emphasized her expressive eyes with perfect eyeliner, how she always had a giant zoology book under her arm.  She was beautiful and clever and just shone in the depressing classroom.

Fuck, he was pathetic and weird.  He really needed to get over his crush and focus on his life, not idolize some poor woman like she was his manic pixie dream girl.  Ugh.

Percy focused on his book, thinking about the two applications he had handed off yesterday. One to Gilmore, to work the counter in his coffee shop, the other to Keyleth for the apartment.  Hopefully, good things would come of it.  They both hinted that he would be accepted.

Maybe Asum could come visit soon, see Beau again.  It would be nice to see his old friend and savior.  To have something to celebrate rather than to mourn.

“Alright, class, we’re going to do a project instead of a final paper.  You’ll be working in assigned pairs to create a presentation and paper on a modern version of any classic novel and how it compares to the source material.  Your initial proposal is due to me in one week.  I’ll call out your assigned pairs now.”

Percy grimaced, praying he’d get someone tolerable that would do their share.  He couldn’t handle working with a freshman who left everything to him again.  He would commit murder.

“Percival and Vex’Ahlia.”

Wait, what?  He stared at Professor Shura blankly and she pointed to the back.  At his crush. Oh, shit fuck.  He was going to humiliate himself.

***

Vex stared at her notes, blanking out.  She hated core classes.  This English class was her absolute last one and it was a misery.  She wished she was out at the zoo or in a lab.  She only wanted to read what she wanted to read. Not this shit.  She sighed.

“Um, excuse me?”

She started and looked up, flushing at the quizzical brow and brilliant eyes on her.  The guy standing over her was hot.  White hair in a messy undercut, heavy brows, a strong yet elegant jaw.  It was the eyes that got her, though, blue as a winter sky and shining with intelligence. Vex easily mustered her most charming, most flirty smile for such a pretty guy.

“Yes, Darling?  How can I help you?”

The questioning frown lifted into a slight smirk, cocky and charming and matching his posh accent, one full and pale eyebrow going up, “Well, we’re partners on our final project according to the professor.”

“Project?”

“Oh, you checked out, too? Apparently we have to do a presentation comparing a classic novel to a modern adaptation while analyzing universal themes,” he rolled his eyes.  His unfairly pretty blue eyes, “And we have to work in pairs.”

“Shit!  I have labs to do! I thought this would just be a paper I could bullshit.”

“I was hoping for that as well,” he dropped into the seat next to her, looking unfairly comfortable in his formal slacks, a neat button up, and a tailored vest in royal blue. No tie, but he did have a black turtleneck underneath.  A little odd for a college student and very high class goth, but whatever.  He was still hot as shit.

“Vex’ahlia, but you can call me Vex.”

He tilted his head, chuckling, her knees going weak as the earrings up his ears sparkled in the fluorescent light of the classroom, “Percival de Rolo, Percy.”

“A pleasure to meet you, Percy Dear.”

“An even greater pleasure to meet you, Miss Vex’Ahlia,” he leaned forward with a charming smile, “So, exchange work and class schedules?  Find a time that works?”

“Schedules? You are a fancy one.”

“I have to plan every minute or I would crumble under the load,” she laughed as he pulled out an honest-to-goodness planner, “Yes, it’s color coordinated.  I was not joking about my life.”

“Okay, okay,” she giggled, grinning, “I get it.  Your girlfriend must keep you busy.”

“Oh-I-Uh-No,” Percy’s pale skin flushed and she noticed some light scarring around his eyes.  It almost looked like droplets, light pink against the lovely red of his cheeks, “I don’t have a girlfriend.  I just work two jobs, a double major with a minor, and a lot of responsibilities.”

“No girlfriend? Really?”

“N-no.  Oh, my phone is ringing!”

She barely held in her laughter at the Star Wars theme coming out of his backpack.  Vex ran her eyes over his profile, appreciating the fine jaw and strong nose, the disheveled hair and two-day scruff, the delicate metallic glasses that gave him a distinguished look only emphasized by his elegant outfit.  An outfit she could tell had seen quite a bit of wear judging by the precisely stitched repairs and fabric fade.  His phone was also an older model, older even than her three generations behind smart phone. So, he was posh but maybe not rich. Just particular about his clothing.

Damn, but he was a fine specimen of a man, his voice soft and refined and lovely.  She wanted to pin him down and see how far that lovely blush went.

“Oh, shit,” he sighed, looking absolutely devastated at whatever the person on the line was saying, “Well, good thing I put in a few applications.  It’s fine, ma’am, you don’t have the time to keep the place open anymore.  I had a feeling this was coming.  Take care and keep me updated.  I’ll be just fine.  You know me.”

He hung up and rubbed his temples, pushing the glasses up, “Sorry about that.  Former job.”

“That’s fine.  Are you okay?”

“Oh, I’ll be fine. This doesn’t even make the top ten of worst things to happen to me,” Percy smiled, but still looked strained, “So, free days?”

“Wednesday after 3 and all weekend except for Saturday morning.  Me and my housemates are interviewing a potential new renter.”

“Oh?  I’m inter-wait, do you live with Kiki?  Keyleth?”

“Yeah, I do!  Are you her Percy?”  Vex lit up at the prospect of getting to spend more time with him and leaned over to look at the organized but packed schedule.  Shit, he wasn’t kidding, “That’s an insane coincidence. She’s told us all about you and Beau. I work at a café just down the street from the house, Laina’s.  We could study there or at the house.  And you could bring Beau and Pepper along.”

“Honestly, that would be great.  I actually just put in an application at Laina’s,” Percy smiled back, “I really appreciate the offer.  You sure you don’t mind?”

“Only if you don’t mind my dog.”

“Deal,” he offered his hand with a wink, beaming, “I-Thanks.”

“Not a problem, handsome,” he flushed to his ears, those spots standing out once more against the red, blushing at her new nickname for him, “So, we can meet up around 4 at Laina’s and I’ll see you Saturday?  I see you’re free from 4 to 7 tonight.”

“I’ll be the one with the black Zemian Shepherd and small child.”

“Sounds great,” she winked, gathering her things, “I’ll see you then.  I need to get to my next class.”

“B-bye,” Percy was frozen, flushed, and staring at her like she was the most gorgeous thing in the world. She strode off with a confident swing to her hips, head held high, and a triumphant grin.  A study date with a handsome man and his babies.  Hopefully, she and Beau would get along.  Kids usually liked her.  Then, she could hunt down that sexy shy bastard.

But first…

She dialed Vax as soon as she was outside the building, knowing his first class wasn’t until noon and he was off this morning, biting her lip.

“What’s up, Stubby?”

“Morning, shitbird.  I met the potential roomie today.  He’s apparently in my lit class and we got assigned a project together.”

“You sound entirely too chipper for this early.”

“Well, he’s absolutely gorgeous and looks like a good guy.  He got fired while we were talking and didn’t even react.  Was just as pleasant as before the call.  I liked him,” Vax made a disbelieving snort, “Really! He color-coordinates his schedule. It’s absolutely adorable.”

“Are you thinking with your head?”

“Yes!  I promise, you’ll like him.  His phone is older than mine and he has definitely patched his clothes a few times.”

“Fine.  I’ll go a bit easier on him.”

“On that note, I’ll be studying at Laina’s tonight.  With him. While you’re working.  I’ll get Grog to walk me home.”

“Wait, what?”

She hung up with a smug smirk.  That would drive him crazy all day.

[wyntertimes-blog]

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Nick Cave Watch: Everyone's favourite goth dad was spotted at an Elton John concert in Melbourne this week.

>> Picture this <<More corporate creepiness

One of Jeffrey Epstein's former employees claims that Epstein kept a 6ft portrait of his mysterious 'fixer' Ghislaine Maxwell above the pool in his sprawling New Mexico mansion. Not just any old portrait though. One of her naked and "posing provocatively".

He wouldn't be the first icky businessman to have had a life-size nudey portrait of a close associate on their wall though. West Ham's porn-purveying chairman, David Sullivan, was once well known in the football world for having a huge painting hung in his basement office.

Of his now Vice-Chairman at West Ham FC, Dame Karren Brady.Andy Coulson has been advised by friends that having his own name in his new PR firm (Coulson Partners) is enough to stop most major organisations from hiring them. So far it's advice that he (and his ego) seem unwilling to take.

>> Shaky casting <<Merry Christmas everyone!

This year's bleak seasonal murder drama, Responsible Child (based on the real life story of a 14 year-old killer who was tried as an adult and jailed) has been getting rave reviews.

Whether it was the shocking nature of the story, or the impressive performance of the child actor who inhabited the role, we couldn't tell you, but for some reason most of the reviews have failed to mention the most important thing about the production.

The kid who plays the murderer is the grandson of Shakin' Stevens.

This week's Media Masters podcast is a chat with historian and broadcaster David Starkey. His outspoken, unforgiving style and trenchant opinions have earned him a reputation as being "the rudest man in Britain". In this in-depth interview he explains the impact it's had over his career.

[Listen/Download on Media Masters]

>> One love <<The race for Xmas No.1

Now that The X Factor is an utterly spent force, and December streaming is dominated by seasonal classics, the annual race for Christmas No.1 has become a much more unpredictable beast.

Re-releases are subjected to permanent ACR restrictions ('Accelerated Chart Ratio') with streaming, which basically means that old, established classics have to generate twice the number of streams as new tracks in order to compete. (Without this, three of the top four last Friday would have been Mariah Carey, Wham! and The Pogues.)

So who's in the running this year? There's another tedious song about sausage rolls from Ladbaby (hideous; but for a good cause). There's the inevitable Ed Sheeran (this year on Stormzy's record). And of course, there's the now traditional Facebook campaign choice.

Facebook campaigns are a bit of a lost cause but it has to be said: of all the songs that the British public could have picked to champion this year, Jarvis Cocker's "(Cunts Are Still) Running The World", is a pretty good one.

[Join the campaign]

REO Speedwagon's original of Can't Fight This Feeling has been streamed more than Bastille's John Lewis ad cover since its release in mid-November.

>> Electile dysfunction <<Another cock up on the Beeb

On election day, there are very strict rules in the UK which forbid news organisations from discussing politics until polling is closed. Which means that news teams have to ignore the biggest story of the day and compile their news bulletins from whatever innocuous filler they can drum up instead.

As part of their non-political Six O'Clock News broadcast last Thursday, BBC1 chose to air an item about the postal service and people sending tiny items in oversized parcels. Alas, it seems there was a very good reason that the Six O'Clock News hadn't touched that story previously.

One of the parcels that was prominently displayed as part of the pre-watershed segment clearly showed a cock ring.Nominative Determinism of the Week: The Senior doorkeeper of the House of Commons... Phil Howse!

>> 2019: The Annual <<A last little gift from us

That's almost it for another year. We've got a couple of special issues to send out between now and 2020, so we'll be back in your inboxes before the New Year. But if you want to sink your teeth into some more Popbitch material over the Christmas holidays, then download our 2019 annual.

It's totally free, and features some of our favourite stories of the year. Print it off at work! Use it as last-minute wrapping paper! Give a copy to your most corruptible niece or nephew!

[Get it here]

And if you enjoy it – or have enjoyed any of the last 52 weeks of Popbitch – and feel like tossing a few quid into our Santa hat for a Christmas pint then we'd be ever so grateful.

[Donate here]

LAST CHANCE BEFORE XMAS: Anyone who donates £10 or more to this year's fundraiser is eligible to download a special play-at-home edition of the Popbitch Popquiz. We'll email you a digital pack with all the answer sheets, question packs and puzzle pages you need to host your own quiz.

[Donate to Popbitch here]

>> Hmmms <<Cats, dogs, Muppets

Rowan Atkinson deepfaked Dior advert

[Ready to lose your libido?]

The reviews of Cats are restoring our faith and trust in journalism

[Read on Prospect]

Picture of dogs in mid-air, catching frisbees

[Cute: what more do you want?]

Need to stock up on wine before the holidays kick off? Naked Wines is offering Popbitch readers the chance to get a case of six sumptuous bottles, plus free delivery, for just £19.99.

[Get your orders in soon!]

What do you get for the man who has everything?

[Try an annual Wank-Pass]

40 years since the Muppets/John Denver Christmas special

[Watch on YouTube]

A crash course in the 100 most memorable memes of the decade

[Read on BuzzFeed]

The real life, bricks-and-mortar Popbitch Popquiz will return in January. Don't let dry January stop you having any fun. Join us at Smiths of Smithfield for another seven rounds of trivia, music and smut with our host, Tom Webb!

[Tuesday 14th January]

[Tuesday 28th January]

Thanks to: JM, bunkle, CA, JC, Party_B, ST, T, JM, BB, CA, RT, MC, bobbi_fleckmann, EC, intheissynoho, MC, AM

Old Jokes Home

I just smashed my keyboard and I'm so angry.

I lost Ctrl.

Still Bored?

If you've already read this year's annual and fancy revisiting some previous years, the last five years' worth are free to download on the Popbitch site throughout December...

[Load up for the holidays]

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