#instead of just taking a screenshot

[domina-luna-lune]

A Magical Evening

[aquanutart]

I was talking and I mentioned that I have my old Game Boy and original Pokemon cartridge. I said, "I think they still work."

I was told, "The internal batteries on the Game Boy cartridges have run out. They're all dead."

"Oh," I said, trying not to show how crestfallen I was. I felt like I was losing nerd cred for not knowing that, although I never kept up with that type of info anyway. I'm here for the fantasy and imaginative aspects of games, and tend not to follow the competitive or technical details.

I tried not to feel anything as I went home. If they were real animals, I reminded myself, I would have had to say goodbye long ago.

But like so many other people, Pokemon was my childhood. It was all I thought about and dreamed about, and the closest thing I could imagine to heartbreak was the knowledge that they weren't real. I spent nearly all my time writing longhand self-insert Pokemon fanfiction--far more than I spent actually playing the game. My Pokemon were with me in my imagination wherever I went. I started playing Pokemon Blue when I was 5, and the last time I had played it was probably when I was 9 or 10. I remembered I had turned it on again one more time after that, not to play it, but to look at my childhood Pokemon.

It was during high school, after a move overseas that completely upended my life, and I was struggling with the crushing blow of being taken away from everything I knew and trying to make sense of anything (least of all adolescence) in another language. All I wanted was to go back to childhood and have everything go back to how it was before.

Seeing my Pokemon, just as I'd left them, had comforted me. I had looked at their stats pages, taken photos of them with my digital camera (that I don't even know if I still have), and then turned it off without doing anything.

That was probably 9 or 10 years after the games came out. It had been a long time since then. I had long since taken the AA batteries out of my Game Boy Color and left it untouched. I didn't even have AA batteries anymore.

It had worked then. But now it had been 27 years... I thought about not trying to turn my cartridge back on. As long as I didn't turn it on, I could believe my Pokemon were still there, the way I remembered them.

On my day off, which happened to be Pokemon Day, I googled and read that some people on forums and Reddit were still able to play their original Pokemon games.

Then... it was possible. I went out to buy toothpaste. At the store, I asked where I could find AA batteries.

It was a big thing for me to be able to go to the store and buy things myself. When I moved at age 13, I felt like something went wrong with growing up. It was difficult to follow what people were saying, and people didn't always understand what I said either. I had been introverted even in English, but now I had enough negative experiences that I became afraid and stopped trying to talk to people altogether.

I threw myself into video games and reliving childhood memories. The internet was where I could communicate in my first language and understand. I lived online and didn't interact with the real world. On the internet I felt like I was understood and could find people who shared my interests the way I did, but in the real world it always felt like I could get hurt if anyone knew me.

I realize now that I could have had a better experience overseas if I'd known how to adapt and socialize, but this was not something I knew even in English, and trying to learn in another language made it ten times harder. I'm sorry now for missing out on interactions that I know I could have had, but I just didn't know how. I wouldn't know how until I learned, and it took me a long time to learn.

I grew up online, in the company of others who had trouble fitting in with the real world, even in their own language. Those experiences shaped me, and the friendships I've made and support I've received online are invaluable to me. The internet gave me a way to live, and through it I learned how to interact with others. But in many ways, for many years, it felt like my life was put on hold and I stopped growing up.

Several years ago I moved back, to not far from where I was born, and I was able to work for the first time. I began to interact with people and feel like I had a place in the real world.

After shutting myself away for so many years, every little step I made out in the world felt terrifying. But every little thing I did on my own made me feel like I was living for the first time.

Even something as little as going to the store and buying a pack of batteries.

I was directed to a shelf at the end of an aisle, and found myself looking at a rack of lithium AA batteries. Did they not sell the old kind anymore?

I walked around to the other side and was relieved to find the familiar black and brown Duracell batteries I'd known from my childhood. I felt more confident about putting in a battery that looked the same as I remembered. The smallest pack they sold was an 8-pack for $12.99. I really didn't need 8 batteries. I didn't have any other devices that used them.

I thought, what if I turn it on and it doesn't work and I'll have wasted $12.99?

I also thought we might already have batteries. I might be able to say, "Mom, do we have any batteries?" and she'd pull out two AAs from a drawer somewhere and I'd save my money.

But somehow I felt like part of what was important about this was being an adult and being able to buy my own batteries.

Yet... what if it just ended up making me sad? Was it better not to know?

I went to the checkout with just the toothpaste and stood hesitating at the edge of the checkout line.

If I didn't get the batteries now, and it turned out we didn't have any batteries, I wouldn't try it. I knew I would just put it off until even more time passed, and then... "Are you in line?" someone asked me.

"No," I said, and I turned around and went back to the shelf.

I bought the batteries.

At home, I took out my original Game Boy Color from the drawer where I left it, the one my dad had surprised me with when I was 5 years old and that I had brought overseas and back.

I put the batteries in and turned it on without a cartridge first to make sure the batteries were inserted correctly. The Game Boy logo scrolled across the screen and it made the familiar blinging Game Boy startup noise. I turned it off again, satisfied.

I took out my original Pokemon Blue cartridge, momentarily having to remember which way it went in, and slotted it in.

I turned it on, watched the whole Pokemon Blue intro out of nostalgia, and then pressed START.

My heart leaped for joy.

MY POKEMON!!!! MY POKEMON ARE ALIVE!!! 🥺🥺🥺

My original Pokemon, that were with me in 1998 when I was 5-6 years old, are still with me 27 years later. I want to cry!!! I love the old sprites, I'm SO happy to see them again 😭😭😭 the Pokemon look so little and cheerful at the same time, which I love 🥺🥺🥺 I know there are people with many more hours on their games, who have leveled all their Pokemon to 100. But these are my Pokemon who were with me through my childhood, and I spent many more hours making up stories about them than actually playing the game. I'm so happy to see them again 😭😭😭

All I want is to see my Pokemon. My other Pokemon are in boxes. Now, how do I get to the nearest PC? Where am I?

Oh... Oh. I have to confess something. When I was a kid, I was scared of the dark cave areas, and whenever I got to them, I stopped playing for a while. (I was stuck at Mt. Moon until I was like, 7.) So I never actually beat the game.

And here I am on Victory Road, with the team of Pokemon I was taking to the Elite Four, without an Escape Rope.

The only way for me to see my other Pokemon is... to finally make it through Victory Road, after 27 years?!

[tsubasaclones]

"wtf is that book", "do i have to read clear card", and other questions you might have after reading holic rei chapter 58

this post is going to be under a readmore because it contains spoilers both for xxxholic rei chapter 58 and like, the entirety of clear card lmao

soooo the last page of chapter 58 of holic rei made me gasp out loud because i never thought i see this fucking book again

for those who may not know, this is the new magic book that's introduced in clear card, generally labelled "alice in clockland" by akiho (who does not know about its magic properties)

the most important thing here is that clow reed once had this book in his possession, and even he failed to use it successfully

i don't have a screenshot on hand rn (too lazy to keep looking) but he then continues on to speculate that it might have been connected to why clow split his soul in half.

if you know why clow exactly clow split his soul in half you can get a pretty good idea of what clow was trying to accomplish with this book (especially with the "couldn't achieve the impossible" bit): he tried to use it in relation to yuuko.

now you might start to see why i'm a litttttle bit nervous to see it in xxxholic! we already established that this thing can't bring yuuko back. what's the point? are we going to rehash that? try to retcon it? what is clamp cooking here???

now you might be asking, what does this book even do? so glad you asked because it's been too long since i wrote an essay-length post yapping about clear card's bullshit.

to summarize, it can rewrite time, with some limitations.

this thing's not exactly easy to use either, if you couldn't tell by clow fucking reed failing. at some point in clear card it's stated that it's been over a century since it was successfully used (until clear card's nonsense, of course)

in clear card, kaito uses it to rewrite akiho's life so that she's actually sakura's twin (but in order to make things largely the same so they didn't have to get into it as much as they Really should have, clamp was just like "oh she was sick as a kid so she had to go live with the great grandfather until conveniently around the time she would have become part of the story originally anyway" which really gives me a lot more questions about this altered timeline that, of course, never get answered. lmao)

the catch here is that he couldn't rewrite anything that was older than him. so he can rewrite akiho's entire life no problem because he is in fact significantly older than her, but her mom had future-seeing abilities and kaito is younger than her so he couldn't erase that completely, so the past/young version of her knew something was up. he also didn't account for the fact that the guardian of this magic book was fucking sick of his shit and thwarted this plan behind his back by leaving a message to sakura that stayed in the altered timeline.

and that brings me to my next point. the guardian of this book, momo (who i love very much. she's awesome)

here's a fun fact about her that's not relevant to what role she could possibly play in holic rei: she's [most likely] named after the book momo by michael ende, which makes sense considering her ultimate role in clear card's plot, but she has this name because akiho is a fucking book nerd who decided that was her name.

you see, the way she works is that whoever she's in a contract with or whatever decides her name and her book's name. now akiho does not have magic and is not in a contract with momo, kaito is, but akiho's mom gave momo to akiho (in plushie disguise) the day she was born, and akiho had no clue she wasn't just a plushie until after the timeline shit (they also never get to reunite after this and they just straight up don't let akiho express any opinion about this ever afterwards??? hello?????????????? but that's beside the point of this post). anyway

but because akiho had momo with her long before kaito realized she was a magical creature and got into a contract with her, and because he was raising her (yes, he's raising her. yes, he's like literally twice her age. yes, clamp thinks this is romantic. this is not a post about how i dislike certain writing choices in clear card so i will leave it at that.) he got used to calling her momo so once he started a contract with her she became officially named momo.

^ also. look at them. why would you separate them clamp.

anyway all that to say, momo is her name & alice in clockland is her book's name now but clow would have called them something else. don't know if holic rei will elaborate on that.

also here she is in her true form. the crown thingy is actually the ring from akiho's mom, lilie, which she gave to her for magic reasons or whatever (yeah there's a little bit of subtext between them but also i might be crazy. that's besides the point)

although when she shows up in clear card's special chapter (not physically, it's some kind of apparition type deal) she notably does not have this ring-crown-thing anymore. which makes me wonder if holic rei will answer why that is.

anyway there's a reason besides "we already established that she can't be used to save yuuko" that makes me nervous for her appearance in holic rei, and that's clear card's ending.

she actually doesn't show up in the last chapter of clear card (chapter 80), she's mysteriously MIA (and i guess we know why now ???) but the situation that makes me worry is as follows:

-throughout the story we are told time and time again that due to his overuse of time magic kaito is literally on the brink of death.

-he finally manages to use momo's book, which is an insane feat as we know because it hasn't been done in over a century and clow couldn't even do it. in any case this is a stupid big amount of magic, since earlier in the story he turns back like a couple hours or something which is noted as being significantly more than he had done before. then when he uses the book he's turning back WAY more than just a couple hours. he's rewriting several years. people's entire lifetimes.

-when the timeline shit is fixed thanks to sakura (which, it took her so much magic to do that that she was passed out for FOUR DAYS and a couple of the clear cards straight up died in the process) he should be in much worse of a condition that he's in, and he's only fine because his time got stopped.

DOES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR???

now i guess their sneaky little loophole is that they don't say "he should be dead" but just like, he should be doing really bad, but fuck that. like man, he was ALREADY on the brink of death before this which we were shown very clearly, he should be dead. what worries me about this is they're having akiho go "i'm gonna find a way to un stop his time and heal him" as if that's possible! as if that doesn't go against, well, yuuko's entire circumstances around her death.

which has always been extra baffling to me BECAUSE of how they implied clow used momo's book to try (and fail) to save yuuko. so when the chapter came out i was like "lmao they can't have momo here because she'd know this isn't going to work"

and the thing is, they've done dramatic irony with akiho a couple times before this

(this still makes me laugh btw)

but this isn't framed as that. it's framed as a good ending, like they may actually be able to pull that off at some point. but like??? they really shouldn't given. you know. everything that tsubasa & xxxholic established. and clear card is very much connected to these, given that the only thing that even really fucking matters at the end is that sakura has a second staff conveniently due to the timeline bs (and not anything she even did herself) so that when she has to give up the old staff she's not even inconvenienced, which kind of cheapens the whole thing imo. but besides that clear card has sooooo many tsubasa references, some of which i'm fine with but a lot of them i don't think really work in its favor.

so that's why i'm really worried about them bringing clear card stuff into holic rei. i can't trust their writing skills anymore. i can't trust that they won't be like "wellllllll what if we can bring her back after all"

i can't even be excited about the possibility of seeing momo again when she's one of the best things to come out of the trainwreck that is clear card. i'm like lowkey scared they're gonna use her to fuck everything up. please clamp. please

in general, i think clear card kind of needs to be quarantined as its own thing. i don't want that energy brought into their other stories that still have good writing. OTL

also, here's another fun fact: as of the end of clear card, all of the clear cards (except for one) were basically made to go be part of momo's book by the forces of the universe because they're also kind of forbidden magic like her book is (and whose fault is that? not sakura's. it's kaito's, because he was indirectly manipulating her into situations where she'd subconsciously make them in hopes she'd make one that worked for his plans so he could steal it and use it instead. but that's beside the point)

so uhhhh we might see the clear cards in holic rei? what fucking timeline are we living in

sorry this ended up long. i got nothing else to do rn

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Do you use AI generators to compile or scrape this information?

no

[coolnonsenseworld]

A little promo with my little obsession on the side...........

Reminder all items are shipped from Poland - for details on shipping times check out FAQ or send me a private message!

 mmezzy.bigcartel.com

[flowersforthemachines]

anyway. orchestrator's long coat v-neck, anyone?

[cloudslou]

abbi in her miami dump via insta!!!!!

[lilmoonberry]

new beginnings

next

[clockworkvenus]

So that merc you hired from the Afterlife likes a party and invited you to join her and her chooms at Lizzie’s to celebrate your successful gig. “Sure,” you think, “Can’t hurt to let loose every once in a while.”

The tequila’s flowing, the dolls are dancing, the music’s echoing around your head as the mix of alcohol and nicotine starts to take a hold. You stub out another cigarette in the ashtray, and as you look up through the smoke, you realise she’s not flirting with the dolls anymore - she’s looking at you. It’s that intense stare again, like the one she gave you in the Afterlife, sizing you up, trying to figure you out. It stops you in your tracks, just like it did before. Only this time, it’s not out of fear. It’s out of lust.

[librarydilf]

i am not immune to this face

[tomeebear]

tomeedachis

[o-wild-west-wind]

so, I made an our flag means death themed crossword…have at it, sluts

[mochayoubi]

make way for today's words

QuizKnock 下車（げしゃ）：getting off a train, car, etc. 序盤（じょばん）：opening (in a game) 架空（かくう）：fictional; imaginary 発注（はっちゅう）：placing an order 低脂肪乳（ていしぼうにゅう）：low-fat milk 石炭（せきたん）：coal 東屋（あずまや）：gazebo

ぼくのなつやすみ２ 防波堤（ぼうはてい）：wavebreaker 天文台（てんもんだい）：astronomical observatory 樹液（じゅえき）：sap 旋回（せんかい）：turning; rotation 無色（むしょく）：colorless 草地（くさち）：grassland 避難訓練（ひなんくんれん）：disaster drill 岩礁（がんしょう）：reef 海底（かいてい）：seafloor

スーパーマリオRPG 適応（てきおう）：adaption 煌びやか（きらびやか）：dazzling 際立つ（きわだつ）：to stand out; to be conspicuous

and also another 100 N1 vocab but i refuse to type all those out lmao

[zrrv]

happy pride month to this old chilled tweet

[jamswhams]

I swear I don't remember him being so silly looking

[nyahiguess]

Wip because my pen died before i could finish but i love drawing transparency yum