#iruka headcanons

[wing-ed-thing]

Childhood Best Friends with Iruka Umino Headcanons

Tags/Warnings: No Reader Pronouns, Multiple Life Scenarios Discussed, Found Family, Fluff, Platonic, Minor Physical Harassment

𓆃 A great friend to have made early on. No matter if you were both left orphaned after the attack on the Nine-Tailed Fox or if your family took him in like a son, Iruka is sure to be a life-long friend.

𓆃 Even when he was a kid and was going through his own rough patches about his parents and the state of the world, Iruka was always a very kind and polite child.

𓆃 For those more extroverted, all that it would take to jumpstart your life-long friendship is a simple, "Do you want to play?", "Do you want to be on our team?", "Do you want to be friends?"

𓆃 If you have a family to return to, Iruka is always welcome at your house. He was definitely one of those friends that your parents always welcomed over, and in a way, they became his parents.

𓆃 Sometimes, Iruka will even be at your house even if you're not there, just spending his time milling around or chatting with your family while he waits for you to come home.

𓆃 And you're sure to bring the whole posse when for his graduations, promotions, celebrations and major milestones.

𓆃 Little changes if you happen to be left without blood relatives after the attack. The most important thing you teach each other is the importance of forging family.

𓆃 You're still at his graduation and there to cheer him on during his exams. When he's promoted, you're there to take him to a celebratory dinner with an oversized bouquet of flowers.

𓆃 Living on your own only means more sleepovers and late nights failing to make food in your kitchenette. Iruka always figured out a way to salvage things, even if it meant pulling out the take-away menus.

𓆃 You'll designate one person's place to congregate in (this decision isn't discussed) and that will be your base of operations.

𓆃 You know how to get in through the window. You'll sleep in his bed until he gets home, and it quite literally doesn't matter.

𓆃 Despite his age, Iruka always knew the right things to say, when to say them, and when not to. He helped you through your life problems that look so small looking back at them without a single complaint.

𓆃 While not quick to violence by any means, Iruka can and will go to bat for you without a moment of hesitation and it's not a side of him that many people see.

𓆃 He got into a bar fight defending you once and refuses to acknowledge it ever happened.

𓆃 You once had a teammate in a squad you were assigned to in your early years when you were about 17. The older shinobi had been upset that you got a promotion over him and was quick to turn confrontations physical.

𓆃 For someone who wasn't interested in field shinobi work, Iruka stepped in front of you faster than an ANBU agent and slammed the man onto the bartop hard enough for the whole pub to come to a standstill.

𓆃 He swept him down the bartop like something out of an action novel. You'll try to bring it up— "Remember that time when...!— but Iruka brushes you off every time. You wonder if he finds the memory embarrassing.

𓆃 Given that you both end up working with kids, you take care of each other's cohorts, giving your students a found family just like you gave each other.

Thank you to all who liked, reblogged, followed, and supported. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.

[marvelmymarvel]

Wait, wait, WAIT, now I need to do headcanons on how other Naruto characters would react to their S/O threatening another child for bullying their kid.

This is based on this fic I wrote for Kakashi: Wage War

Characters: Yamato/Tenzo, Iruka, and Orochimaru

Yamato/Tenzo

He is in pure shock at the anger in your eyes; he gets chills just looking at you. How can something so pretty look so evil?

Oh… He thinks as he looks at where you are staring - Your son… Makes sense.

He’s quick to grab you, though, knowing that you would wage war against anyone who hurt your kid if allowed. He would, too, don't get him wrong, but kids were kids. They were mean!!

You didn't care. All you saw was red. “Hey, we can't go hurting kids now, can we? What message would that send to our child?” 

His words would have been calming at another time, but all they did was fire you up more. “That no one is allowed to mess with him!!!”

He has to pull you away and profusely apologize to the mother who is now pulling her kid away from you. 

“You should keep her on a leash if she’s going to be so rabid-”

Tenzo’s jaw dropped at that statement, and he cringed at the shocked gasp that came from you. He told you you couldn't pick a fight with a kid, but their parent?

The adults were different. You could beat them up as much as you wanted. Tenzo let you go, hands shooting up as he watched you storm towards the mom in pure rage.

Sure, you could beat up the parents, and he would cheer you on as you did.

Iruka

Not happy at all. 

This ball of sunshine would be QUICK to scold you, warning you that teaching your little girl that "violence was the answer" was not a good idea…

Even though she's literally in a school to become a ninja? Violence isn't good?? Ya. Okay, whatever you say, Ruka.

He would take a more sensible route with it and would be able to calm you down with logical thinking - Violence is a nono but detention? Detention he can do.

Iruka being the school's headmaster is a perk, and part of him is thankful for being in charge. Otherwise, he wasn't sure how many kids would end up missing.

He would also scold you if you looked at the other child wrong; he will have none of that happening in his school. 

But don't worry; he will make sure the kid doesn't mess with your kid again.

She's his kid, too, you know! And no one fucks with his daughter.

Orochimaru

Mitsuki looked different than everyone else; that was painfully obvious.

He was aware of this and never took offense to jabs and laughs, but you?

Lord, help everyone around you.

Orochimaru would snicker at your anger, finding it adorable as you threatened child after child for making fun of your baby.

He would stop you if you moved towards the children though. While the old him would have allowed the violence to happen, the new him wanted peace. And you fighting a kid would not fare well for the three of you.

Still, he’d let you rant and rave about how cruel the kids are in Konoha. The thing is, though, Mitsuki is just like him in that sense. Orochimaru, too, experienced the same level of bullying, so he understood firsthand how cruel kids could be, but he always ignored them.

It doesn't matter. Their words don't matter.

And while you know that the words don't hurt your baby, you still can't help but feel overprotective every time you catch wind of a jab being thrown his way.

So while Orochimaru isn't worried about Mitsuki’s well-being and knows you won't seriously harm a child, he still makes sure that you know violence is not the answer here.

His new mindset was seriously frustrating, and you couldn't help but agree with him.

But if they called Mistuki a white-haired freak one more time….

[hauntedhokage]

DILF Energy Iruka Headcanons

Iruka is well aware of what dilfs are he just doesn’t think he qualifies since he doesn’t have a child of his own

But he wishes he qualifies because could you imagine?

Dilf status just known across the village so everything will just work out for him

“Oh no worries have a permit” “This just says ‘I’m a dilf’?” “Exactly! Have a great day!”

He hadn't considered being a teacher would put him in the dilf category since he doesn't actually have children, but then he overhears a couple parents refer to him as a dilf in their conversation and it's almost like the world as he knows it changes

"Iruka-Sensei, you're such a dad!" only encourages his antics in class (much to the chagrin of the students who think he's embarrassing)

Call him a dilf to his face and he'll get all bashful, saying something about how you shouldn't say things like that where his students could possibly hear and get a different impression of him

But he does want you to say it again

[mishellii]

♢ᴘᴇᴛ ɴᴀᴍᴇꜱ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ♢

naruto, sasuke, shikamaru, kiba, shino, neji, iruka & kakashi

a/n: sooo,, i SHOUld be working on my uni essays and on the bf!neji texts BUT this had been sitting in my notes app for a while so i decided to post it ;D (the neji texts will come soon i promise). some are longer, some are shorter for which i apologise,,,,,, please ignore typos, i can't spell & enjoy MWUAH

likes & reblogs appreciated <3

warnings: some NSFW parts! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! :) also not proofread as usual

masterlist

♢ɴᴀʀᴜᴛᴏ ᴜᴢᴜᴍᴀᴋɪ♢

✿oh my baby boy

❀first off: angel. 100%.

✿because u are his angel u feel me

❀he can't go a day without telling u

✿then also just the basic baby

❀but mostly when he wants something from u or he's apologising for dumb stuff he's done

✿puppy eyes and all

❀and also during sexy time

✿it's his most used name for u there

✿fight me on this

❀big on his own self made nicknames for u

✿for instance: u fell down the stairs once?

❀"hey, stairs, how you doin'"

✿and just silly ones like: boo, pookie, apple of my eye

❀he's weird like that c'mon we been knew

♢ꜱᴀꜱᴜᴋᴇ ᴜᴄʜɪʜᴀ♢

✿now this guy is a wild card

❀he'd prefer ur name through & through

✿but he'd slip in a casual babe sometimes which makes ur knees weak obviously

❀because he barely ever calls u that

✿if ur married he'd only call you his wife

❀doesn't even let you answer questions on your own sometimes just so he can hit them with

❀"well, MY WIFE, thinks you suck ass, so.."

✿during sex he can be quiet mean 

❀I DONT THINK in the derogatory way but more in a teasing way

✿"c'mon, sweetheart, look at me."

❀when ur just about to black out??

✿but like i said 

❀not big on pet names but he'll use them more often if he knows u enjoy it <3

♢ꜱʜɪᴋᴀᴍᴀʀᴜ ɴᴀʀᴀ♢

✿pretty

❀just pretty bro.

✿not ALL THE TIME, especially not in public as i don't think he's big on PDA

❀but in the comfort of ur own 4 walls? definitely

✿now don't HATE ME for this but,,,

❀woman. and brat.

✿but only in petty situations, like when ur scolding his lazy ass and he hits u with a "go easy on me, woman, i just woke up."

❀or u've been going on his nerves while he's working

✿,,i'm busy, brat.''

❀in bed tho???

✿love or doll

❀i'm almost CERTAIN.

✿like,, can u imagine?? in his dumb fucking charming voice ???

❀PFFF i'm on my knees 

♢ᴋɪʙᴀ ɪɴᴜᴢᴜᴋᴀ♢

✿now this fucker

❀teasing names through & through

✿ur shorter than him? 

❀"hey, shortie, need help?"

✿ur taller than him?

❀"hey, giant, how's the weather up there?"

✿he's a DICK ok (affectionately ofc)

❀but he can be sweet too i promise

✿he's having fun with calling u bunny during sex or simply baby 

❀also ???? "okay, boss." when he's been annoying u all day and u finally snap at him?

✿he's a menace with nicknames i'm telling u

♢ꜱʜɪɴᴏ ᴀʙᴜʀᴀᴍᴇ♢

✿you probably guessed it and bully me if you'd like but,,,

❀bug or lovebug

✿come oooon he loves his bugs AND he loves you?? it fits PERFECTLY

❀not one to do it infront of other people either but in your private space he just wouldn't stop calling you one of these

✿i also see him using the regular honey but the abbreviation so hun because it's short and sweet and he doesn't like those long ass names

❀apologies if ur name is long LMAO mine is too tho

✿takes the hun into the bedroom but prefers a gentle love while having sex

❀shino's not a sweet talker in my mind, but the pet names make up for it FOSHOU

✿ALSO big brain idea i just had:

❀i think shino can't fully express his emotions verbally so before going on missions he definitely writes u letters and that's where he's blooming

✿''u keep me going everyday, sunshine.''

❀and it doesn't even matter if you have a bubbly personality or not

✿UGH lovesick fr

♢ɴᴇᴊɪ ʜʏᴜɢᴀ♢

❀this pretty princess doesn't even know ur name when ur alone with him 

✿ESPECIALLY when ur texting

❀sweetheart, love & darling

✿he'd make u fall in love over again whenever he calls u one of those i'm just saying

❀because he's always so sincere when he's talking to u it drives me crazy just thinking about it 

✿during sexy time too, he would NEVER

❀& i will die on this hill 

✿NEVER use any degrading names for u

❀ur his baby don't make him do that

✿even when ur fighting, he'd always address u in such a kind way i'm actually going insane

❀"have you had dinner yet, dear?"

✿ sedate me pls

♢ɪʀᴜᴋᴀ ᴜᴍɪɴᴏ♢

✿AAA this guy

❀soo,, like father like son,,, angel

✿u can't change my mind

❀being the kind hearted person he is, it just fits u can't tell me off

✿but i will also say he'd use some funny ones in private because we all know he's just a silly lil guy deep inside

❀i'm thinking toots & peach

✿especially when greeting u !! like ''ey, toots, how's it going?''

❀during sex he will be quiet awkward at the start of ur relationship, settling in angel as he's most familiar with it at first

✿but after some time he'd pull a babydoll or gorgeous on u

❀i mean,,, i'd cry but idk about y'all

✿oVERALL he loves using pet names and wouldn't be opossed to u calling him some sweet ones as well <3

❀call him handsome and he'll go through the roof

♢ᴋᴀᴋᴀꜱʜɪ ʜᴀᴛᴀᴋᴇ♢

✿AHEM

❀so this man,,

✿at the start of ur relationship he's such a shy lil bean so he'll only use your first name

❀but once he's been with you long enough he gets so so comfortable

✿starts of with the regular baby because u are his baby aight.

❀his most frequently used one too i'd say

✿but then he'd go like 

❀"hey, beautiful." "y'alright, sweetheart?"

✿and idk about u but i'd faint

❀HE KNOWS ABOUT HIS AFFECT ON U TOO

✿uses it against u during sex SO OFTEN

❀grunting a "there y'go, darling." into your ear with a sly smirk on his lips 

✿i'm (s)creaming

❀but he's a very private person so don't expect too much of that in public !!

✿a side from a "yes, ma'am" when u tell him not to die on a mission <3

a/n: i hope this doesn't SUCK ahemm,,, and i'll see you beans next time bye bye x

devider by @enchanthings

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

Random NSFW headcanon please? (If you do nsfw...)

alrighty roo, buckaroo, lets discuss kinkage - thank you so much for the request

Random Kinks They Deffo Have

They: Iruka, Kakashi, and Itachi (with additions of Sasuke and Shikamaru) (f!Reader)

Warnings: whew! Swearing, explicit smut, power play, somno/free use, auralism, names of authority, praise kink, spit/blood/cum play, idk just please be 18

Notes: This one is for the freaks, obvi Boruto!Sasuke and Boruto!Shikamaru, I'm begging for everyone's thoughts and opinions

Masterlist💿

Iruka

Power Play

He just fucking loves when you take control

Anything you tell him to do, Iruka will do compulsively, and he's absolutely twitching when you tell him how good he is for doing so

All! About! Your! Pleasure!

Iruka's favourite encounters would be when he's not allowed to touch you, though, funnily enough

You're riding him, and all he can do is watch your sultry smile and feel your pussy hugging him tight - he wants to feel you, to run his hands all over your body - but he can't - or else you'll slow down to a halt and sometimes even pull him out, just to give him a beration of sorts

Now, that said, Iruka does not fuck with demeaning talk - you better love on this motherfucker, he's trying his goddamn best for you, and if you should negate that, it would allow a dark cloud to form over Iruka's mind

You don't want that, right? Exactly. So you keep it sweet, you give him stupid, little commands then fan the flames of his ego when he completes the command in spades

Lowk gets boyfriend-brain when he's with you, so kinda does need to be told what to do

Iruka is a sweetheart!!! He's always going what he can for you, all the time, even if you don't explicitly ask him to every time

Kakashi

Free Use/Somnophilia

When you said you would be okay with giving it a trial run, Kakashi was elated, and fucked you four seperate times that night, and began again before you woke up in the morning

He fucks you slow, almost trying not to wake you up, but the stretch is unmistakable

"Good morning, pretty lady. Have any good dreams?" He would ask, noticing your quickened breath, making you instantly relax into the situation

You love it - you stop sleeping in any amount of pant, just so Kakashi could have you as he pleased

When you got home, he would be pressing you against the door, when you try to start chopping vegetables for dinner, he would bend you over then pop you up on the counter when he just couldn't get enough

Kakashi's condition is that everything spontaneous happens within your shared, lovely, little home

He might sneak you away occasionally while the two of you are out, finding a small cache in the forest, but Kakashi would be asking for permission, assurance, consent at every step of the way - public is just different, but he's not entirely opposed

Kakashi just can't believe he's got you, and every time he looks at you, he needs to have you

Itachi

Auralism

He needs to hear you; the way your voice quakes, the way your nails rake across the skin of his back

Itachi's favourite sound though, is the harmony of your bodies meeting, skin smacking skin, squelches and a slick plunging sound, filling the room

Yeiff - let alone fucking outside - my god - Itachi wants your encounter to be so loud that the whole world knows what's going on

With his shit eyeslight, Itachi would prefer to close his eyes while fucking you, letting your beautifully wanton sounds paint a picture in his mind

In a perfect world, he would totally love to get tied up with a blindfold on - just to be at the mercy of your light touch and the intoxicating sound of your pleasure - Itachi would break the binding eventually, desperate to have his hands on you, needing to fuck you hard enough to hear the smacking and sloshing

Itachi is also the primo dirty talker, insisting you reply to him through your stinted pants, sharp gasps and breathy moans

His whole arousal around the subject of sound is cranked up to ten the second the two of you are in public - your little yips when he squeezes your ass, or the biting 'Itachi' that slips out of your mouth when he corners you to cop a feel

Oh, he fucks with names, you can call him whatever the fuck you want, so long as he's the one you're screaming about - but he likes it when you speak to him with more authoritarian honorifics (sir, daddy, lord)

Sasuke

Praise

Ooh, tell him he's hitting the spot and Sasuke would lose it, only trying to hit the exact same spot again

If you're ever out, singing his tune to another party, about anything, and Sasuke catches wind, he's taking you home immediately to prove he can provide more than you bargained for

Y'all, lets be real, and acknowledge that sweet Sasuke craves praise in any and all capacities, but most fervently in the four walls of your bedroom

Again and again, it doesn't matter how many times you tell him, he wants to hear it again

"Sasuke, your cock is so fucking big," you gasped as he slid in slowly.

"Louder. Tell the neighbours."

Loves, loves, loves to be able to hear the affect he's having on your body, every wave of pleasure, every jolt from your orgasm

Even if it's visibly clear that he's got you like putty in his palm, Sasuke will demand that you tell him how good he is, how deep he can reach, how much your pussy loved him

You're a blabbering mess, and it strokes Sasuke's ego to no end that he can bring you to this point, absolutely drunk with pleasure

Shikamaru

Spit/Blood/Cum Play

Anything Shikamaru can ingest that comes from your body (not excretions, sickos), he will

It's insane when you two hit the trifecta - Shikamaru cumming all over a patch of knicks on your stomach then spitting on the pile of liquid, he would mix it all together with his index finger, on top of you, before he would lean down and lick it all up, shoving the finger covered in the rose-tinted mixture into your mouth

Mm mm mm, and your cum, my good Christ, does he ever love your cum

Nothing brings Shikamaru so much joy as pulling his fingers out of you, being coated in a shiny slick

There's also something about the way your face screws up every time he brings a kunai into the bedroom - Shikamaru goes weak in the knees when he sees your crimson blood, glinting on the tip of the knife, losing it even further when you lick it off without hestitation

He's going to cum on your face, just to see you try to open those pretty eyelashes of yours, beads of white weighing them down

Shikamaru had no clue he was into fluids, until you randomly asked him, one day, to spit in your mouth - it's been a done deal since then, spitting just comes with the territory eventually

He always loved seeing your body get painted with his cum, but it's a whole different ball game to watch you play with it, to watch you lick it all up without wasting a drop like you used to do (honestly, Shikamaru can't even remember why he used to wipe his cum off of you)

[animeomegas]

There’s a tik tok trend where people refer to their partner as their spouse (when they’re in the bf gf stage) to see their reaction and I think this would just be too cute with the Naruto boys monarch😫😩 the alpha referring to the omegas as their husband to other ppl even when they’re dating 😫

Awww, so cute! I think they'd all have funny reactions haha. Here are my thoughts, Queen <3

If you referred to them as your husband before marriage:

Where's my ring? Where's my ring? Give me my ring then. Give it! Let's get married now, why wait, let's go: Naruto, Shikamaru, Lee, (non-massacre) Itachi

*Existential crisis*: Sasuke, Kankuro, Kakashi

Is this a hint?? Am I supposed to propose?? Did they mean to say it? Did they say it because it was easier? Panic, panic, panic: Shino, Yamato

Eh, you probably just wanted to say the more simple thing and move on. It helps people take your relationship more seriously, whatever: Kiba, Haku, Shisui (makes a flirty joke about it though)

Is a normal person, so he feels warm, maybe fantasises about what it'll be like when you do get married, but knows that it doesn't mean you have to get married right then and there: Chouji

Tingling nerves and anticipation. He WILL take this as meaning you're going to propose soon. If you don't propose within 3 months of saying this, he will be SAD: Neji

Assumes you said it by mistake. Corrects you: Gaara, Sai

WHAT?! Husband... ah, sdjfdjfhgdjfgsdfhg: Iruka, also Lee

Don't call him that: (canon) Itachi

[comicallylargemango]

How Kakashi, Genma, and iruka would react to reader staring at them while they're talkin

Summary: 's in the title, but anyway.

How they would react to reader staring at em with intently, like all the love in the world intently

Warnings: some suggestive stuff, mostly harmless though cus all fluff.

Kakashi hatake

Halfway through his sentence he just sees reader staring at him with their hands propping up their head

Immediately shuts up and reader asks if sumn is wrong and when he continues talking he's stuttering n messing up all his words

Legit gets red as a tomato, not even his mask could hide it 😭

No one has ever looked at him with so much interest, compassion, and love in their eyes so he literally has a seizure I swear

If y'all were dating and you stared at him like that it's either straight to the bedroom or he's going to be a blushing, flustered mess (depends on where yall r like in public he's gonna be a red mess but inside his apartment YOU're going to be a mess if ykwim)

You would tease him endlessly for his reaction

If y'all weren't dating though that's when he catches feelings like who wouldn't 🤷

He looks so stoic n serious all the time but with just a smidge of PDA he's gonna malfunction

Genma shiranui

He's too distracted with talking he doesn't notice it at first so you just kinda keep staring n humming as a response

When he DOES notice tho he's reduced to a stuttering mess (kinda like Kakashi) but he tries to remain confident n keep his cool, happy go lucky facade but he fails miserably as sighs in defeat.

Unlike Kakashi you can fully see the red, flustered mess your gaze has reduced him to.

Probably slams the table with the other hand covering his lower half of his pretty boy face n makes the excuse that he needs to go to the bathroom. Startling you and other people (if y'all are in public)

Low-key makes you think you did something wrong and immediately apologises to him when he gets back

He dismisses it though and says you did nun wrong but you still get worried nonetheless

When he notices his senbon probably falls outta his mouth cus he probably noticed it mid sentence with his mouth open n yeah

When y'all r dating he definitely teases you about how you're lookin at him, but his heart and mind are going bonkers rn

In public he tries his best to keep the 'kewl bad boy' facade but fails

In PRIVATE though, in private. Make out session. Nothing else no other words just, make out session. (With consent of course)

He thinks it's cute and adorable and he has ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEM telling the entire world. Will cup your cheeks and smother you with compliments like "you're so cute I could just eat you up" (or out if you want idk)

Iruka umino

Honestly Kakashi and Genma combined

Tried [keyword; TRIED] to seem cool about it but is definitely going to fail.

Would switch to a completely different and silly topic to see if your reaction changes but it doesn't, it only makes him more flustered that you don't even care about how silly the topic is you just care about him

If he's eating he'll definitely choke on his food from how lovingly you're staring

(prolly gets turned on)

If y'all are dating n sitting/standing next to him while you're staring would probably look away and fake cough tryna hide his face from you

Iruka is definitely a closet perv and you cannot convince me otherwise (not the peeking into women's stalls closet perv) only a perv fo you

At home you're not going to escape his hungry grasp ifyk

In public though he's prolly a blushing mess

Mans is just adorable idk what to tell you 🤷

[leveneficor]

kakairu modern days

GUYS GUYS LISTEN TO ME

what if Iruka had studied at university to be a teacher

and the mf Kakashi, with his high abilities, had already graduated with a master's degree and a doctorate in computer science from the same university

and them they meet every day at the library, but Iruka doesn't know that he teaches and thinks he's just a student who spends all his time reading silly romance books

[animereaderinsertwriter]

had some thoughts about Naruto characters and the question, "would you love me if I was a worm?", coming to you live from my roommate's text thread

Sasuke: would you love me if I was a worm

Sakura: you ARE a worm, deadbeat. come pick up your kid from school

Sasuke:

Sakura:

Sasuke: do you. love me. then?

Sakura: yes. please go get sarada.

Sai: I do not understand this. Why have you not asked me this yet?

Ino: asked you what?

Sai: if I would love you if you were a worm. Do you not want me to love you if you were a worm?

Ino: what-- no? I mean, yes! I mean--

Sai, calculating: so.... you want me to love you as a worm?

Ino: uh yeah ig?

Sai: I would not.

Ino: oh...

Sai: worms are not beautiful. or smart. they are only worms.

Ino: 🥺🥺

Temari: You would love me if I was a worm. I'd be the best worm ever, and you'd be a sucker just like you are now.

Shikamaru: Yes I would. You're already the best worm and you're not even a worm.

Temari: Good. Just making sure we're on the same page.

Shikamaru, visibly shaking: yep.

Iruka: this is a dumb question.

Kakashi: I love dumb questions. You look hot asking them.

Iruka: ..... would....would you love me if I was a worm?

Kakashi, without hesitation: of course. you'd still be you, and besides--- I've never had sex with a worm before

Iruka: Kakashi no.

Kakashi: seriously, I think it could work.

Iruka: Kakashi--

Kakashi, eyes glazed over: I'm pretty sure there's got to be a worm jutsu that would allow us to experiment....

Neji, trying and failing to be nonchalant: Hey Tenten?

Tenten, looking up from her training: Yeah?

Neji: I would love you if you were a worm.

Tenten: ?????

Neji: You know. Just in case you were wondering.

Neji *blushing*: I would.

Tenten, not understanding, but pleased nonetheless: Thanks babe ❤️

(bonus)

Sakura: Hey Naruto, earlier Sasuke asked me if I'd love him if he were a worm.

Naruto: but he IS a worm.

Sakura: That's what I said!! But... It got me thinking.

Naruto: that you would love me if I was a worm too?

Sakura: no! I mean, yes I would-- but, I was thinking more if I was a worm. Like. Would you still love me?

Naruto: uh, sure!

Sakura:..... That doesn't sound very confident.

Naruto: listen, I just --

Sakura: no I get it, you just don't love me

Naruto: THATS NOT WHAT I SAID

Sakura: no it's okay, you've always liked Sasuke more--

Naruto: SAKURA-CHAN, NOOOOOOOOO

BONUS bonus

Later:

Sasuke gets home. Naruto is in his room, sobbing. He's holding a tiny worm.

Sasuke: what the fuck are you doing?

Naruto, tears streaming down his face: ITS SAKURA-CHAN

Sasuke: what did she do????????? Is she okay?

Naruto: NO, SHES A WORM

Sasuke: WHAT

Naruto, becoming increasingly more hysterical: TODAY SHE ASKED ME IF I WOULD LOVE HER IF SHE WERE A WORM AND I CHOKED AND DIDNT ANSWER FAST ENOUGH SO NOW SHE THINKS I DONT LOVE HER SO SHE TURNED HERSELF INTO A WORM AND SHE WONT TURN BACK NO MATTER HOW MUCH I TELL HER I LOVE HER WHAT IF SHES STUCK THIS IS ALL MY FAULT--

Sasuke, visibly panicking: okay. Let's not panic. She's a sannin-level shinobi. She just wants us to feel bad. She'll change back when she's ready.

Naruto: BUT WHAT IF SHES STUCK

Sakura, who has been outside the window the whole time and watched Naruto find the worm in the kitchen: I love those morons so much-

[wing-ed-thing]

Childhood Friends to Lovers Relationship Headcanons

Tags/Warnings: No Reader Pronouns Not into romance? Here's some platonic childhood friends with Iruka hcs!

𓆃 It's a very natural progression, especially if you're in the same age group as Iruka and remain moderately involved with the village growing up.

𓆃 Iruka is friendly enough to be able to bond with just about anyone, and given you're in similar circumstances after the Nine-Tails attack on the village, you're bound to be drawn to one another.

𓆃 Especially if you're left with few loved ones, being around others who share your circumstances makes your situation feel less lonely. At least, that was the idea when the Third Hokage implemented the youth programs for those who lost family stability.

𓆃 It was an awkward series of after-academy and weekend activities thrown together by a bunch of volunteer shinobi who didn't know much about kids, but you and Iruka wouldn't know better until you were older.

𓆃 These programs were also open to children whose parents were now working around the clock to assist the village, so even if your circumstances didn't resemble Iruka's, you could naturally find yourself in similar spaces.

𓆃 You probably couldn't even recall the exact moment you and Iruka became friends at all. You just always remembered him there and could hardly think of a time where Iruka wasn't in your life.

𓆃 (Iruka remembers. He's told you once before. Something about helping him out when he was new to the program and grieving, but you don't actually remember any of that.)

𓆃 He's always the first person you invite to your group outings with friends and he always makes time for you. He actually always makes time for anything you invite him to, whether you explicitly ask him or hint that you'd like him there.

𓆃 For a lifetime, he's been at every graduation, performance, and new life event you could ever ask someone to be at.

𓆃 Iruka was also always at your place, and if he wasn't at yours, you were at his.

𓆃 Any family you have surely already considers him one of them, your more sentimental— or otherwise slightly ditsy— family forgetting that Iruka isn't another blood family member.

𓆃 As you get older, your friends or extended family will constantly assume that Iruka's your partner. From your teenage years on, everyone will assume that you're a couple whether you are or not.

𓆃 And, well, you practically are a couple. You see each other every chance you get; you talk to each other every chance you get; you work in complete and utter tandem, that even people who don't know you very well assume that you're a couple.

𓆃 With his proximity to the people closest to you, it's an appropriate assumption and when you do finally get together, no one's surprised.

𓆃 Hell, even if you decide that marriage is for you, no one would be surprised about that either.

𓆃 "I thought you were already married," practically every shinobi in the village will most certainly say upon your announcement.

𓆃 Children will be a large part of your life whether they're yours or not, strictly because of Iruka's status as a teacher. His students mean the world to them, and by extension, it's probably for the best if you get as least a little involved.

𓆃 Your dynamic will work best if you show a level of dedication on par with his, whether you're another teacher, a sensei, or even simply drop by with treats every so often.

𓆃 The students think that ANBU warriors are fascinating and giving demonstrations of your superior kunai skills never fail to impress.

𓆃 "You'll only be able to do that if you do all your homework on time!"

𓆃 Your relationship is village-centric. Perhaps you won't be setting off on any crazy joint-mission anytime soon, but you will have a close, natural relationship and a village full of people who absolutely adore you.

Thank you to all who liked, reblogged, followed, and supported. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.

Not into romance? Here's some platonic childhood friends with Iruka hcs!

[naruto-imagines-and-headcanons]

Naruto Love Languages (Shinobi)

Iruka Umino - Quality Time

Iruka prioritises quality time together more than anything. He knows what it feels like to be alone, and with Naruto he understood it even more. So he never wants you to ever feel like you're alone or abandoned. When you started dating he tried to see you at least once a day even for just a quick chat. And if you live together he is always ready to come right back home if you need him. It doesn't matter what he's doing, Iruka will make sure you know he's here for you no matter what. Expect a LOT of nice casual date nights throughout your relationship

Kakashi Hatake - Gift Giving

No matter how long you've been together, Kakashi can be a pain. His tardiness has stayed with him, being late to pretty much all your dates. It's gotten to the point where you tell him the date is happening an hour early so he's technically on time. And he ain't big on chores. But he makes up for it with his excellent gift giving skills. Pretty much every gift he gives you is perfection. Even though he's late a lot, he always brings you a small gift to make up for it (flowers, your favorite candy, charms, etc). Also, the moment you get into a new hobby or interest, expect related gifts falling in your lap for the next month. Kakashi wants to encourage your interests, he loves seeing the joy on your face as you experiment and try new things! And don't worry about money, he's doesn't mind spending it if it's on you

Might Guy - All of Them

Come on, he is literally Lee's clone. Of COURSE he's gonna be just as enthusastic with his partner. This man will literally do anything for you, if you need something done fast and perfect, he's your man. And be careful talking about things you show interest in. If you even imply you want that tea set from the store, you are gonna wake up with it on your nightstand. And god is he great at talking you up. Every morning is started with a speech about how amazing you are and how you'll face the day with power and youth together! Guy won't accept any negative comments you make about yourself, either. He shuts that shit down immedietely, and talks to you seriously and genuinely. Guy will always make you feel loved and beautiful, never forget that (don't worry you can't, god this man is loud)

Kurenai Yuhi - Words of Affirmation

Kurenai is incredibly caring and emotionally connected with you. She is a naturally empathetic person and with you it's clear. She always takes into account your personal opinions and desires, and never makes a decision about your relationship without your input. Your emotions mean a lot to her, and she makes it clear. Kurenai is always there to

Asuma Sarutobi - Quality Time

He is similar to Shikamaru of being a bit sluggish, just not on the level of his prodigy. Your love life is on the lowdown, but that isn't a bad thing! You like just spending time calmly with him without all the fuss. No pressure inducing grand gestures or giant surprises, with Asuma it's easy and stress free. His favorite way to spend time is just sitting and talking with you, and if you smoke, taking smoke breaks are a definite couple's activity. If you ever feel like you're hogging his time or being clingy, he'll quickly shut you down. Asuma wants to spend his life with you! Why do you think he shows up at your house so often with a rose?

Anko Mitarashi - Acts of Service

Anko is an independent woman who knows how to take care of herself. She doesn't require you to do anything for her, if you want to it's cool but she doesn't expected. On the other hand though she shows a lot of loyalty to you and always stands by your side. She respects your independence and autonomy and tries to not push too hard, but if you ever need anything she is right there in a heartbeat. Honestly, whenever you do anything she is watching intently for any sign of you needing help. You can't grab a cereal box from the top of the fridge without her already making a game plan if you fall

Tsunade - Physical Touch

With most people Tsunade isn't too fond of physical contact (well, when sober at least). She is used to being sexualized for her body by pretty much EVERYONE, so it feels like people just take advantage of her. But with you, she knows you don't see her like that. You see her as a human being! A hot human being, but a human being nonetheless. So when she's with you she adores hugging and cuddling and smooching. You are just so adorabl ein her eyes! Holding hands is an absolute must. In her eyes you are only one worthy of her hand... and massive tits. Just be warned that when she drinks she gets reeeeeeeeeally touchy and pervy

Jiraya - Words of Affirmation

I can already see some of you questioning my sanity, but hear me out. Jiraya is the famous Pervy Sage, this man loooooooves bodies. Boobies, booties, if you got it he wants it. So yes, physical touch is a BIIIIIG part of his relationships. But surprisingly, most people don't know that when he's in a serious relationship, he gets very sincere and sweet. He always is there to life you up, and pretty much compliments you all the time. Even when you feel like you look like shit, this man finds a way to make you feel like a supermodel. Jiraya isn't afraid to show his affection in public either, and proudly says "I love you" and calls you pet names anywhere you go (no matter how embarassing). But uh... yeah he's still gonna have grabby hands though, so get used to that

Hashirama Senju - Words of Affirmation

Hashirama is such a bright person and just a joy to date. He is basically a ray of sunshine no matter the weather or situation. Optimism is his religion and follows it closely. His main goal in life is to make you feel happy and loved. And you're gonna feel it god dammit. Every morning you are awoken with a sweet kiss and "good morning". He likes to tease you by saying you look better than ever, even though you clearly look like you woke up from a 3 year coma. Your pouting and annoyed face always makes him giggle like a kid, it's so cute! Throughout your relationship Hashirama will always find a way to convince you to look on the bright side of life, especially if it has to do with you. No matter how you perceive yourself or your skills, he compliments you with full genuineness. This man loves you so much, just... so much

Tobirama Senju - Words of Affirmation

Unlike his brother, Tobirama is muuuuch more tight lipped. He's stern and sharp with his words, even with you. It was a bit off-putting at first, and you used to wonder if he even liked you. One day it came to a head and you approached him and asked him outright if he hated you. This is one of the few times his composure broke, and he instantly shot the notion down. After a heartfelt conversation, from that day forward you payed more attention and noticed little things about him. You notice that when he talks to you his voice softens ever so slightly and he tries to use less intense wording. Occasionally when he walks by you'll hear a quiet compliment in your ear. He never forgets to thank you for every little that you do. And when you're alone he'll even soften up just a tad and admire your beauty. Tobirama doesn't show his affection outright and openly, but if you connect with him and noticed the little things he does, you'll truly understand his feelings

Minato Namikaze - Acts of Service

Minato is a gentleman through and through. He's gonna treat you like royalty, I'm talking laying his coat over a puddle so you can walk over it (don't worry, you eventually convince him to just let you go around the puddle instead). Obviously he is verbally respectful and sweet, but he really shows off with his usefulness. He loves to do chores with you or cook together and just talk for hours on end. If you're craving a certain food he is ready to take a stroll to the store and get it for you no questions asked. And when you're in public you can bet he's using his reputation to get you guys some special benefits. Every restaurant has a table for you guys set and ready, and store venders give you great prices. Plus NOT A SOUL will even try to bother you. They know who your love his, and they know what he will do to them. So enjoy those privileges~

----------

Konoha 12 + Sand Siblings | Shinobi & Founders | Akatsuki

[shrkichigo]

NARUTO DUMP

ZABUZA ARC OVER :3

I lost my other first iruka edit so I remade it :3

Also ebisu is underrated

I hate zabuza and haku

[the-atlantic-french-fry]

My Naruto Headcanons

Tenten never married because she and Neji were secretly in love and were going to tell everyone after the war

It's still her biggest secret

Sakura and Shikamaru are Naruto's best friends

Sakura and Sasuke break up when Sarada is about 5 but co-parent so they can be with people they truly love

Kakashi and Iruka are in love and have been official life partners since the end of the war

Konohamaru wants to find his true love like Naruto and Hinata

Gaara and Rock Lee are very much in love but they didn't admit it until after Metal was born

Guy was Kakashi's first boyfriend but they agreed they were better as friends

Shikamaru refuses to believe he's turning into his father

Choji is happily turning into his father

Sai spent years trying to find his birth family after the war and never did

Karui wanted more kids but Choji was afraid to be a parent to even one

Killer B visits the Leaf so often everyone thinks he should move there

Naruto spends every one of Jiraiya's birthdays at Mount Myōboku and brings his kids when they're old enough

Himawari is everyone's favorite of the Uzumaki family

Shino is asexual but is deeply romantic

[pattie1k]

Part 2 of the series: ‘I don’t care what people say, they hooked up once’

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

How they sleep...headcanons

Includes my beloved Iruka, darling Kakashi, and dear Itachi (with bonus additions of lovely Shikamaru and sweet Sasuke) GN!Reader

Warnings: tad bit of language, and some raunchy bits (nothing crazy, reader discretion advised), tell me if this sucks

Masterlist💿

Iruka

He loves, loves, LOVES to cuddle

Even on the hottest nights of the year, Iruka still has his arm thrown over you, unable to get valuable sleep unless his bare skin was touching yours

Dies over being little spoon, adores it, and is internally screaming when you pull him close in your sleep

Sleeps in a pair of boxers, with the occasional t-shirt if he expects it to be especially cold in the night - the skin-to-skin contact with you usually keeps him plenty warm

Grinds his teeth in his sleep, and it makes his jaw pop in a painful way - but he refuses to get a nightguard because he heard it would make him drool

His hair gets messy in the night with how much he moves, but they're easy knots

Mumbles in his sleep, nothing coherent unless you prompt him, but he will always reply 'I love you more' even in the deepest slumber

Kakashi

Sleeps like the dead

If he's truly confortable, Kakashi could sleep through a tornado without so much as a stir

That said, you will be locked into whatever position you fall asleep with him in, and he insists upon falling asleep with his limbs entangled with yours

Kakashi goes through violent hot and cold swings in the night, because his internal thermostat is broken - he doesn't move a muscle, used to the sweats/chills, but it prompts you to move around him according to the temperature swings

Gets multiple erections during the night

Has about fifty pairs of pyjama pants, some even have matching shirts, but will almost always fall asleep in his boxers

Sometimes, even if he does fall asleep with pyjama pants, he'll take them off in a half asleep daze at some point in the night

Goodnight kisses are a must every single night and good morning kisses were necessary every single morning, Kakashi's favourite part of getting to sleep next to you was the fact that your face was the first and last he saw in a day

Groans in his sleep, occasionally sighs your name, but is very silent and still, except for his face, scrunching up every ten minutes it seemed

Itachi

Goddamn somebody get this emmaciated man a warm bed and a long cuddle

He doesn't sleep much, and when he does, it's not continuous

Clenches his jaw while he sleeps, making it pop and lock throughout the night

Needs everything to be pitch dark and quiet as church service for him to hit even Stage 3 sleep, Itachi sleeps like a cat and will rouse with any noise

Frequent nightmares, and if he's having a peaceful sleep, it's dreamless

Sleeps best after a few orgasms

Loves feeling your body curled against him, so much so that even while sleeping, he'll stroke your back and whisper his adorations

Itachi always wakes up first and then stares at you until you wake up, he might play with your hair a little, but otherwise will just watch you sleep soundly

When you wake up, if there's time, he'll roll around with you, cuddling and kissing for an hour or two before he starts getting antsy to get up

Shikamaru

Falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow, but that never stops you from cuddling up close

About twice a week, he falls asleep fully clothed, and you have to peel the clothes off his uncooperative ass or else he'll get all whiny in the morning if he wakes up in yesterday's clothes without a hangover

Truly a sweetie, Shikamaru's always pulling at you while he sleeps - never hard enough to pull you right to him, but enough for your unconscious mind to get the hint

Favourite thing is spending entire mornings with you in bed, talking, cuddling, smoking

Ticklish as hell so you cannot just be wandering your hands over him while he's sleeping, he'll smack you away harshly and turn away (but not remember anything in the morning)

Will fully open his eyes and sit up at various points in the night, says something strange, then just goes back down

You keep a small notebook to write down the ones you catch because you love how embarrassed Shikamaru gets to hear what he was saying in his sleep (he lowk finds it interesting as hell though)

Goes through phases where he cannot sleep, but hates it when you insist on staying up with him

Nah jk he loves the fact that you're willing to disrupt your own schedule for him but would never ever ask you to do so himself

Sasuke

Has a very long getting ready process, including a 40-minute long bathroom routine and then the selecting of pyjamas, then he might like to read a book to fall asleep in lieu to cuddling with you

Spending so many formative nights without so much as a goodnight from someone he cared about forced him to start this process as a way for him to say goodnight to himself

Likes it when you join him, but if he's had a long day, prefers to do his routine alone

While he reads, or stares out the window wistfully, he's not opposed to you lying on his chest and will kiss your forehead as you drift off to his heartbeat

Sasuke's always cold, so you guys have quite the thick duvet and he's always wrapped to the chin when you wake up

He prefers to wake up first, preparing tea for two before he wakes you up as gently as he knows how to

Gets out of bed immediately after opening his eyes, always ready to start the day (though much to his chagrin)

[animeomegas]

Glad to see your wrist is doing better! ^^ a short and quick one; how do the Naruto boys handle trantrums?

Thank you! <3 Tantrums from their pup? Interesting idea! Let me see~

If their pup was having a tantrum about not getting a toy, or something similar

Bargaining:

Naruto - He hates when his children cry, so he simply can't help but bribe them with things to stop.

"Hey. hey, hey, what if instead of the toy, tonight we can play some video games together, how does that sound, huh?"

Yamato - He basically begs them to stop crying, and when that doesn't work, he offers something that he can give them instead.

"How about I give you a piggy back ride while we shop, do you want that?"

Deferring/giving in:

Sasuke - Panic, panic, panic. If you're there, he defers to you. If you're not, he gives in immediately so that the tears stop.

🚨🚨🚨

Shikamaru - Crying gives him a headache, and he doesn't like having to deal with it when the reason is so bratty. Giving in is the fastest way to get it to stop.

"I will give you 500 ryo to spend on toys if you stop crying now."

Taking them aside and talking them down:

Chouji - He assumes that they're over-stimulated, so he takes them somewhere quiet and let's them cry it out in a hug. Once they're calm, he explains why they can't have the toy, before bringing the pup back into the shop.

"Shh, there's no need for this, calm down."

Gaara - He's a big 'take the pup for a walk' kind of parent. If they have a tantrum, Gaara will take his child by the hand, and walk outside with them. Once they've calmed down, he discusses why they got upset.

"You're okay, I promise."

Removing them from the situation and going home:

Shino - He doesn't not like public tantrums. At. All. If his child starts having a tantrum in public, he is picking them up and bringing them straight home. He can get a bit frustrated if they don't calm down, but once he's at home, he can deal with it better. He probably puts a TV show on for them and sits with them as they calm down.

"We are going home. Why? Because clearly you cannot control yourself today."

Itachi - He takes his pups home too. They're upset, and when pups are upset, they should go home where they feel safe. He carries them home, and puts them in his nest. Once there, he gets them a snack, and they have a cuddle. Itachi will reprimand if it was super bratty, but mainly he comforts.

"We're at home now, it's okay. I think we need a quiet day inside, yes?"

Ignoring them:

Kiba - Kids cry for many reasons, some good, some bad, and Kiba is an expert at knowing which is which. If it's a stupid tantrum, he'll literally ignore them and keep shopping. He probably has loads of other kids with him too, like he can't just leave. So he lets them wail behind him until they've calmed down.

"Wow, this is a nice shop, I'm having a nice time, everything is good."

Haku - Haku also ignores the tantrum, but he spends the whole time talking to his pup as if nothing is wrong. Once they start calming down and answering him, he offers a hug, and then pretends that nothing happened.

"It's such a lovely day today, which kind of weather is your favourite?"

Discipline:

Neji - Neji is going to put the pup on the naughty step. If there's a space to do it in public, then he will. But if not, he'll probably go home to punish them. After one minute per year of age on the naughty step, Neji asks for an apology, and then gives them a hug. He probably does something quiet and lowkey with his child for the rest of the day.

"Why did you get put on the naughty step? I want you to apologise to me."

Iruka - There is also a punishment from him if the tantrum is very bratty. He takes them for a time out/cool down period. If he's in public, he makes the pup just stand against the wall for a few minutes. If they're at home, he has them sit in a room alone until they calm down. After that, he gives them lots of cuddles and tickles until they're smiling again. He might shout if he's already stressed, but he tries not to.

"I told you no, that means no. Stand here and think about what you did."