#is 'being insincere on purpose' even a thing you *can* do?

[doggendoodle]

fucked up and singlehandedly cost my group a kudos fight in front of someone i respect (this will have a negligible impact on their day but i will forever be haunted by their first impresson of me being ruined)

[geekforhorror]

kiss it better

pairing: dbf!james kelly x fem reader

description: james kelly is one of your dads oldest friends who has a thing for you…especially in that short skirt of yours.

warnings: SMUT (DNI IF YOU’RE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH IT!), dom!james, sub!reader, established age gap (james is 40, reader is 21), skirt fucking, james has a thing for your ass, pussy slapping, slight objectification, praise, degradation, corruption kink, unprotected p in v sex, fluff, etc.

word count: 2.5k

James knew what you were doing.

Currently, your dad was out buying some propane fuel for the barbecue grill outside because he had forgotten to get some beforehand. However, he had left you alone with his best friend James.

You had developed quite a crush on the older man a few years back and you’ve wanted him ever since. You didn’t know what it was about him that you found yourself attracted to the most. Maybe it was the faint stubble on his face, his piercing blue eyes, or his tattoos. Perhaps it was all three. You thought you were being subtle all this time about your little crush on James. I mean for christ sakes, you had even picked out the skimpiest crop top and tight skirt you owned when your dad told you he would be joining the two of you for the mini backyard barbecue.

It hadn’t gone unnoticed to James at all. He always saw how you would bat your doe eyes at him all innocently, the way you swayed your hips while walking past him, and how you tempted him. At first he thought he was looking into it too much, but then he saw it happen again…and again…and again. His need for you grew every passing day when you teased him and you were just adding more fire to his need for you.

That’s what was currently happening.

Your dad had texted you saying he would be back soon and told you to get the pack of beer out from the cooler in the kitchen.

“Can you come with me, Jamie?”

That was new. You had never called him Jamie.

“Sure, honey,” he says, trying to be nonchalant when all he wanted to do was smirk in your face. Plus, he wants to see the selection for himself. Classic James.

As you get up from the couch in the living room, he trails behind you, not missing a step before the two of you find the freezer where the blue cooler labeled ‘beer’ was located. Before you know it, you’re walking back to him and like always, you make sure to sway your hips for him. He was addicted to the way your pretty little body moved and couldn’t help but wonder how it would move while fucking you. His restraint was wavering.

Just when he thinks it couldn’t get any worse for him, you bend over. Doing this allows James to get a glance up your skirt and what he saw was enough for him to get hard in his faded blue jeans. Not only had you bent over for him on purpose, but had also worn the thinnest lace panties known to man. He swore he was going to blow his load right then and there.

Opening the box, you present it to James as if nothing had just happened. “Is this good for you Jamie?” you ask him sheepishly.

“I know what you’re doing, sweetheart,” he admits.

“What do you mean?” you ask with the fakest, most insincere tone you could possibly ever use.

“Don’t play dumb with me, doll. I see the way you act around me…acting all innocent after,” he says, calling you out with no hesitation.

“You did?” you ask.

“You make it hard not to notice when you’re parading your tits and ass around me every time I see you,” he says.

“What are you going to do about it?” you say with a smirk.

That was it.

Within seconds, he pounces himself onto you, his carnal desire for you getting the best of him. His lips latch onto yours, fueled with unwavering passion. He had waited for this moment and now it was happening. His tongue finally finds its way into your mouth and you don’t find yourself disgusted by it. All you felt was the desire for him to do unspeakable things to you.

“James…I need you,” you plead, whining into his mouth

“Already so desperate f’me and I haven’t even fucked you yet,” he coos.

You could feel the arousal seeping through your panties at the sound of his silky smooth voice. The effect he had on you was profound. Melting over his voice? You were screwed.

His hands found purchase to your clothed ass, but that wasn’t enough for him. Taking initiative, he rolls the dainty fabric up to your hips, now allowing him to grope your ass with those fucking tattooed hands you loved so much. If he only knew the amount of times you had touched yourself while imagining that they were his hands on your body.

He hoists you up, making you wrap your legs around his waist before breaking the kiss. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this moment, sweet girl…how many times I’ve had to hold myself back out of respect your old man, but fuck it. I want you.”

With that being said, he holds you with his arms and takes you out of the room. Before he can lead you up the stairs that lead to your room, you stop him.

“Where are you taking us?” you ask.

“To your room, angel,” he says to you.

“What’s wrong with the couch in the living room?” you implore.

“Sweetie, I’ve been waiting for this for so long. I’m gonna fuck you the way you deserve, not on some old couch,” he says before finally going up the stairs with haste, but also making sure he didn’t drop you in the process. You guys finally make it to your room and he wastes no time before placing you gently down on the bed, moving you backwards so there was enough room for him to successfully tower over your body. The sight gave you chills, but in the best way possible.

His lips latch onto your warm skin surrounding your collarbone before sucking away at the tender flesh of it. You let out a breathy whine at the newfound sensation. You could feel how soft his lips were…just like you imagined they would be.

“James…” you say.

“Yes, baby?” he asks back.

“Can’t take anymore teasing…need you inside me,” you beg of the older man.

“Shhh…patience, pretty girl…be patient for me, yeah?” he says in a soft voice at which you nod at. “Such a good girl.”

He can’t even stop himself before he starts stripping you of your clothes,..if you could even call them that with how short and dainty they are. “Raise your arms for me, angel…wanna see those pretty tits,” he coos. You do as he says and within seconds, he’s met with the bare flesh that had been hiding underneath your shirt. He was in heaven.

“Should’ve known you weren’t wearing a bra,” he smirks.

He had imagined your tits so many times while jacking himself off. He always imagined the way your tits would bounce when fucking you, the way he would suck them.

“These are fucking mine, got it?” he enunciates, now pinching one of your sensitive nipples with his slender fingers, then rolling it accordingly.

“Fuck Jamie…” you say, lost in the feeling.

“My baby’s already whining for me, hm? You haven’t seen anything yet,” he claims. You had no idea him saying that would lead him to now suck at your pebbled areolas to prove his point.

“Such pretty tits on such a pretty girl,” he praises. He decides to tease you even further by pulling down your expensive lace panties before throwing them aside like they were nothing. “And an even prettier pussy…so wet for me, baby.”

The anticipation for him to slide into you was truly killing you. It was always on your mind when you knew it shouldn’t be. “You’re fucking perfect…need to have you,” he says, almost sounding a tad bit desperate.

“I’m all yours, James,” you assure him.

“Glad to hear it, doll.” he smiles. Finally, after what seems like ages, he starts throwing articles of his clothing off his toned body before he’s only in his black boxers while on top of you. You couldn’t help your curiosity as to how hard he was and looked down at the sight below you…and god, he was huge. The outline of his hardened bulge was more than prominent, leading you to question whether you could take him or not. He notices your lingering stare and can’t help but grow a little cocky.

“Eyes are up here, baby,” he says before grabbing your chin with his veiny hand.

“I’m sorry…” you trail.

“Don’t be sorry, baby. I think it’s quite cute seeing you get all flustered,” he says with a chuckle.

“I want your cock…please,” you beg, not even caring how desperate and whiny he had made you in this moment.

“Gonna fuck you so good until the only thing you remember is me and my name,” James promises you. “Gonna ruin you for anybody who thinks they have a chance with you.”

He slowly slides the fabric covering his cock down to the floor, where the rest of your guys’ clothes laid sprawled out. It only took a mere second before you saw the way his cock sprung towards his defined stomach. Fuck…he was gonna split you raw.

“You ready f’me, baby?” he asks you.

“Yes please…need your cock so bad,”

“Such a good girl for begging,” he praises while caressing your messy locks.

Suddenly, you feel his cock intrude your warm cunt, causing a moan to escape your lips from the sensation of him stretching you out with his thick cock.

“Shit…squeezing me so well, pretty girl… just like I thought you would,” he admits.

“Please move, James…” you whine.

“Anything for my girl,” he says before complying with your ever so desperate command. He begins thrusting into your tight hole without showing any signs of mercy or slowing down anytime soon. He wish he could take his time with you, but he knew it was only a matter of time until your dad was set to return.

“Just like that!” you scream out, your well manicured nails digging into his shoulder dimples as he fucks you into oblivion. With every inch inserted into you, the more dumb you could feel yourself becoming. But guess what? You didn’t give a fuck.

“Poor girl…already becoming dumb just from her daddy’s friend fucking her like the slut she is,” he degrades.

“Fuck…” you moan in response.

“Such naughty words from a girl like you,” he tuts in response.

“Need it harder…” you say in between raggedy breaths.

“You’re going to take what I give you and you’re going to like it, princess. Now behave,” he orders. You follow his instructions as explained before continuing with his erratic movements inside you. Your guys’ hips collide with one another, providing much needed friction that had both of you moaning. Sounds of your slickness began to fill the room and James couldn’t help but savor them. You felt his cock scrape your sensitive nerves that had already begun twitching around him.

He took in the way your chest heaved with every single thrust he made while inside you, the way you were panting for air…everything. You looked absolutely beautiful all fucked out for him and he would remember that sight below him for as long as he lived.

“Such a little cock slut, hm? So desperate for my dick that you dressed like this for me instead of asking me for it. Thought your daddy raised you to know better…guess not,” he tuts in disapproval. You felt yourself getting closer to your inevitable climax just by listening to his degrading words. You felt ashamed for getting off to someone speaking to you as if you were nothing, but you couldn’t help yourself. “Don’t fret baby, that’s what your new daddy is here for.” he says before slapping your pussy, guaranteeing that there would be a fresh mark tomorrow. The impact left a stinging sensation afterwards, but instead of wanting him to stop, you found yourself wanting more of his harsh blows. This was made crystal clear to him when you let out a moan.

“Look what we have here…a filthy slut moaning over getting treated like a fuck doll. My fuck doll,” he teases.

“Please…want more of it,” you admit.

“Of course you do, baby. Because you’re a pathetic little thing,” James mocks while still sheathed inside your sopping cunt. His hand lands another harsh hit to the irritated flesh, making you grip your sheets so hard that they were turning white.

“Fuck Jamie…’m so close,” you whimper.

“Hold on for a bit longer if you wanna prove you can be a good slut for me. Can you do that for me, baby?” he asks, hoping you would provide him with the right answer. You frantically nod your head, which was a good enough answer for him to keep bullying you and your pussy. Before you know it, he sets a new pace, one that was nothing short of animalistic. He wanted to be so deep inside of you as physically possible and that was what he was doing right now.

You can feel his cock twitch inside your warm cunt, which only makes him rock harder into you. Your vision becomes painted with stars as he was doing so and it felt fucking fantastic. He was the only man ever to make you feel like this. Safe to say, he exceeded any of your wild expectations.

Suddenly, you feel yourself becoming unraveled to the point where you can feel the hot coil start to unwind deep inside your fluttering stomach. With each additional movement he made, you felt the sensation become even more undeniable to feel.

“Please let me cum James!” you scream out in ecstasy.

“That’s it pretty girl…cum for me” he praises.

That’s all it took for you to splash your warm release all over his cock. You felt like you were on cloud nine while he was fucking you through your orgasm. The feeling of you coming undone on his dick finally made him ropes of his hot, sticky seed into your sensitive entrance. He groaned while doing so, which you found to be the hottest thing ever.

After the two of you come down from your heaven sent orgasms, he pulls out of you and lays down next to you. He positions himself so that he’s now looking at your pretty face in awe.

“I love you sweet girl and I hope you know I didn’t mean anything bad I said” he admits.

“I love you too James,” you say to him with a chuckle.

James smiles at your confession of love before pulling you in for a slow and gentle kiss, unlike the one you guys had shared before. The two of you found peace and solace in the kiss and you guys wouldn’t stop until either of your lungs gave out…or in this case, when your father comes home, which was now.

“Let’s not tell your father about this,” he says with a laugh.

“Agreed,” you say with a laugh back.

This was one for the books.

tag list: @zapernz @mortalheartache @midnight-raine @camiemorgan8 @myheartwillgoon2022 @demieyesore

[jesncin]

Caped Crusader, "Safe Diversity", and Catwoman

We're at a point where it's expected that a new incarnation of any story previously with a white-dominated cast would be reimagined with a "more diverse" cast. This can mean racebending them, genderbending them or making them queer, but for the purposes of this analysis we'll be focusing on racebends. Most of the time, executives will take the "safer" routes with diversifying their cast- pick a couple of unproblematic supporting characters to be incidentally "diverse this time". Other times, there might be "braver" takes where more prominent characters (perhaps even the main character) are racebent. This doesn't necessarily mean racebending prominent characters is an inherently better thing to do.

I've been more than critical of MAWS' portrayal of BIPOC characters but especially their Asian Lois before. Sometimes BIPOC representation is just a decorative palette-swap change for these shows. Caped Crusader however, is different. It's more complicated- but it's rooted in very similar problems. Unlike MAWS (though I can only speak for S1), CC is far more willing to take on political topics: classism, sexism, police corruption and brutality, even beauty standards in the entertainment industry! Yet, in choosing to portray these topics in their stylistically anachronistic 30s-40s set piece- it makes it so the show's reluctance to discuss race intersecting with any of these topics far more apparent.

(spoilers for all of Caped Crusader)

Take for instance, episode 2: "...And Be A Villain". The story is about Basil Karlo, a less than handsome actor who wishes his appearance wasn't holding him back from both love and playing roles saved for better looking people. He makes a deal with Jack Ellman, an experimental makeup artist who turns him into Clayface. This story is set in motion when Miss Yvonne Francis, a beautiful actress, goes missing. Miss Francis is a woman of color (brown skinned, unspecified) played by Lacey Chabert: a white actress. CC goes for a generally colorblind casting what with Stephie (a white girl) being voiced by Amari McCoy (a Black actress) but it always feels icky when a white actor voices a character of color. Prominent characters of color in CC are more accurately casted. However I do think animation should be wary of using their medium to get away with their show appearing more diverse than the actual talent behind it.

The episode's theme is pretty clear on how unfair the entertainment industry is in regards to who it prioritizes in leading roles. Basil is constantly emphasized as a tragically talented actor whose appearance is holding him back. "With your talent you should be a leading man, Basil." Yvonne says to Basil in a flashback. Meanwhile as Alfred is watching through movie clips featuring Yvonne and Basil together, he comments "while lovely to look at, Miss Francis is no Gloria Swanson." So Yvonne has the looks, but not the talent and still gets prestigious roles because that's showbiz. The only time this is weirdly inconsistent is when Yvonne calls out Basil/Clayface in the finale, saying:

"I don't believe your performance. You're chewing on scenery. Relying on makeup effects to enhance weak characterization. It's insincere, Basil. It's not real."

I honestly feel like this scene was just meant to quickly "subvert" Yvonne being a damsel in distress by having her call out Basil's acting. It's a moment that isn't reinforced by anything the episode set up. After all, according to Alfred, she's not as good an actor compared to Basil. That's supposed to be how they foil each other, so this moment feels unmotivated. Again, I get what they're going for, that Basil's performance ironically relies on his newfound appearance so much that even a bad actress like Yvonne can spot his meager acting. But it doesn't work when our protagonists were actually convinced by his imitation of others. She's still a damsel in distress character regardless of her having a bit of attitude when calling her captor out.

What I don't understand is: why make Yvonne a woman of color if this was the story you wanted to tell? It's not like they're paying homage to how her voice actress looks, after all. Why, in your story set in purposely anachronistic 30s-40s era noir, did the character who was meant to represent the epitome of "not talented but gets by the industry because of her conventional beauty and pretty privilege" a woman of color? We're missing the very obvious conversation here where Tinsel Town is a white industry with white biases to what it considers attractive. It doesn't matter how many attractive actors of color exist, they're still pigeon holed into stereotyped and often racist roles (especially back then), and have to work twice as hard to get the opportunities their white colleagues get. Why is Basil, a white man, the only one afforded a marginalized narrative when Yvonne is quite literally a woman of color right next to him? The episode is especially painful to sit through when Basil is afforded so much sympathy compared to Yvonne.

"He didn't have the right look. He didn't have the right face."

"The camera is kind to some, but cruel to others."

This is transparently a colorblind narrative. Yvonne is written and even casted as a white woman. The CC crew just decided she should be a WOC likely because "wouldn't it be neat if the beautiful actress in this story is POC" without thinking about how that would drastically change a narrative already critical of the showbiz industry based on appearances. It's not intersectional and flattens the narrative to being selective of the prejudices Tinsel Town has. This episode is a great example to what CC generally does with diversity. It's not afraid to be critical of society, but it gets oddly squeamish with discussing how race intersects with these topics- opting mostly for a palette-change type of representation.

It's not entirely fair to say CC doesn't ever touch on the topic of racism. It sort of does: if you read between the lines for why the mayor gives Jim Gordon his commissioner role, and more prominently with the Gentleman Ghost (a rich aristocrat ghost that steals from the poor, believing wealth is his right) being offended that his mansion is sold to Lucius Fox (saying "and you would sell it to rabble like this?")- racism is somewhat present in the world of CC. We see the women in this show experience misogyny, but it's ambiguous if any of their struggles are intersectional with that of race. But that's... just about it. Racism isn't discussed more than it is alluded to, whenever the writers decide it's relevant. Because of this, CC has a spectrum of hits and misses when it comes to integrating characters of color in their reimagined cast.

Here's how I would visualize that spectrum using canonized instances of Asian Lois Lane. I should emphasize that representation of people of color doesn't entail the narrative owing us "a racism arc" or what have you. This spectrum is more used to measure how much racial identity was integrated in the characterization of the character: whether that be cultural identity or history. Being a person of color isn't just "person who goes through racism".

This is how I'd personally place the prominent characters of color in CC on my "spectrum of racebends" chart. Generally most of the characters of color (whether reimagined that way or were originally POC already) are fairly harmless in how they were integrated into CC's world, but none of the characters feel bespoke as a reimagining of the character and are interchangeable with their white counterparts. To quote cartoonist Juni Ba (in a discussion on CC):

"...stripping characters of color in these time period stories of any cultural, [a]esthetic or social signifiers that’d make them true to the groups being represented. Instead they dress, act and speak very western."

In my opinion, the only character that is an exception to this is Linton Midnite (or as he's popularly known as: "Papa Midnite"). Midnite is a character so interlinked with Haitian culture and mysticism that even CC couldn't erase that aspect of his identity (important note: historically, the portrayal of Midnite since his creation is riddled in racism, but that's not my place to discuss here). Midnite at most speaks with an accent, dresses more nonconformingly compared to the western standard dress of all the other characters, and practices occultish stuff (though I don't think there was anything culturally specific in that episode, please correct me otherwise if someone has more insight!). That's a lot more cultural representation than just about any other character of color in CC. Midnite can't be changed to a white character, his African identity is too interlinked with who he is.

There are a few characters I consider in poor taste to be POC- that being Arnold Flass, Yvonne Francis (who we've covered already), and Harley Quinn (who will be getting her own post, as her case is complicated). So let's talk about cops, then.

I tend to be indifferent about media choosing to diversify cop characters because it feels like choosing the most "respectable to society" role for a marginalized character to play. Cops uphold bigoted systems of power at the end of the day, so that's a very comfortable place to represent your marginalized characters. It's why we keep getting gay or lesbian cops, which Batman media absolutely perpetuates as well with Renee Montoya. It's hard to cheer for two women of color being allowed to date and kiss in public when one of them is a cop, y'know? But this doesn't mean re-imagining cop characters doesn't have narrative merit.

In regards to Jim Gordon being reimagined as a Black cop, I'm gonna refer to La'Ron Readus' video on "Fixing the Batman's Copaganda problem" where he goes into detail about the missed potential of Black!Jim Gordon from Reeves' The Batman (2022). Generally, I felt that opportunity was missed in CC as well. While I love that Barbara Gordon is in CC, nothing about her being a WOC is integrated into this version of her. It felt like if either character was white, the story wouldn't be that different. The bigger issue here is the choice to racebend Arnold Flass- a previously white, blonde, cunningly smart, and brutally corrupt cop.

CC follows some of this in their version of Arnold Flass- he's paired with Harvey Bullock (also a corrupt cop). While Bullock is the brawns of the duo, Flass is the smarts. He's cunning and even implied to be willing to frame Bullock if the worse comes to it. It isn't an inherently bad idea to racebend a corrupt white cop into a Black cop. If the writers want to tell a story about how the police force assimilates people of color into the system and forces them to be just as if not more brutal than their white counterparts, then by all means tell that story.

But that's not what CC gave us. By rarely acknowledging race, we don't get to have a conversation or themes surrounding that delicate intersection of identities. We just have "diverse Flass". Look at these panels from Year One for example, can you imagine how Flass' casual disrespect for Gordon by constantly calling him "Jimmy" could be re-contextualized with a race change? Unlike other characters who just feel like missed opportunities for not integrating race into their characterization, Flass is an elephant in the room. To not acknowledge his race in themes of police corruption and brutality is to white wash the narrative with diverse paint.

I personally think the stronger narrative decision would have been to racebend Bullock as Black instead of Flass. Flass could still be the conniving cop, but he encourages Black!Bullock to be the more "violent brute" who does the dirty work for him. It would put a newfound racial layer to how Flass considers Bullock disposable. Then we could have some kind of commentary on how the police force encourages a system of abuse that makes even fellow POC turn on each other. It'd also make it so a certain scene would be better in optics.

I have many criticisms for the scene where Batman holds a gun to Flass in the finale of CC. It's a narratively unmotivated (see my criticisms for CC's Two Face here for elaboration) and weak moment that relies on metatextual shock value to cover up how underdeveloped this take on Batman is. But it's also just very uncomfortable optics-wise. It's a common and valid criticism that Batman as a character can very easily fall into copaganda, with his status, goals, and collaboration with the police force. In many ways, Batman is often written to be committing his own kind of vigilante police brutality.

Caped Crusader wants to be a deconstruction of a Batman tied to power and hellbent on his mission to eliminate crime. But because CC occasionally omits race from its narrative, the scene where Batman holds a gun to a Black cop-a man stripped of his ability to fight back-just falls flat for me. There's no acknowledgement in this scene that Batman basically gets to be an anonymous cop, "warning shots" and all. Batman shoots at an unarmed Black man several times. It's meant to be shocking to us how Bruce is willing to stoop to such a level and indulge in gratuitous gun violence, but it honestly hits too close to real incidents where this is racially the case for me to enjoy the narrative point of this scene.

You know a character who would be perfect for calling out Batman's many privileges? Selina Kyle. Let's talk about Caped Crusader's biggest downgrade.

I've heard just about all the arguments in favor for CC's reimagining of Catwoman and none have convinced me that this was in any way a good take on the character. I see people saying that this Catwoman is a return to her golden age roots, and there's a lot of misconception surrounding that assumption. So bear with me as looking at Catwoman's history is necessary to discuss race and how a character evolves.

Catwoman debuted in the 1940s as a jewel thief who disguised herself as an old lady. She was just called "The Cat" and would not don her more feline appearance until later. True to the mystery woman femme fatale trope she was inspired by, her backstory was left unknown for a long time. 10 years later, in Batman #62 it is revealed that after a plane accident bonked her head, the now named Selina Kyle got amnesia and went on a crime spree. Giving her leeway to reform and be an ally to Batman. This would historically inform how Selina Kyle toed the line between good and evil as an anti-hero.

Her origin would be revisited in 1983, in the Brave and the Bold #197. Although not canon to the mainline universe, it is still a crucial development for her character's history. In this story, Selina reveals that she lied about having amnesia to get out of facing punishment. Her true story was that she entered a life of crime to escape an abusive relationship with a rich man. The only loss her husband understood was material loss, loss of property, so stealing was how Selina fought back.

This crucial re-examination of her character transformed her from shenanigans inducing femme fatale, to a marginalized fighter. Shortly later in 1987 in Batman Year One, Catwoman is reimagined as a street-hardened sex worker in poverty. She is inspired by the Batman to become a vigilante for her own goals and gets annoyed that she's assumed to be his sidekick.

The moment Catwoman became marginalized by power, was the point where she became worthy of solo-character status. She was not only a compelling foil to Batman-capable of going toe to toe with him and make him question his motives even though she did not share his privilege-she could lead her own adventures reflecting a side of Gotham Bruce Wayne's perspective doesn't. She actively makes the setting of Gotham stronger because of how she's evolved as a character.

Catwoman's character would continue to evolve, with some iterations reimagining her as a latina woman and others where she's canonically bisexual.

While Catwoman has been portrayed by Black actresses before, I want to focus on the most recent and prominent iteration of a race-swapped Catwoman. When Matt Reeves' The Batman (2022) featured Zoe Kravitz as Selina Kyle, an explicitly biracial character within the text of the story, we see another step this character evolves. I think La'Ron Readus' video on "Why Race-Swapped Characters Are Not The Full Story" does a fantastic job of explaining why this is a narratively great race swap. To summarize (though I do encourage watching his video as he goes into depth about 2022 Batman's Jim Gordon as well among many other examples) and add analysis of my own: Selina being the byproduct of an Italian crime lord and a Black sex worker is a brilliant marriage of her original backstory (being connected to and abused by powerful men) and her modern backstory where she's poverty stricken (and tangentially related to a sex worker if we're talking about Batman Year One).

We understand why someone of her background would have an affinity for stray cats because of how she lost her mom at a young age, she is sympathetic to fellow people from the lower class, and explicitly calls out privileged white people- including Batman who attempted to over moralize Selina's partner as a sex worker.

"All anyone cares about in this place, are these white privileged assholes."

It's especially that last line that makes it so Selina's character isn't interchangeable with her white counterpart. She's a textually rich character to contrast Bruce in Batman 2022, and we can see how years of history and evolution has brought such an empathetic character to the screen. Interestingly, Readus feels that while 2022 Selina was an example of a race-swap that works, he believes it was great by coincidence, because of the miss that was Gordon's characterization in the same movie. I think with Reeves as a collaborator on Caped Crusader, that assumption was correct.

Selina in CC is back to being a rich socialite, but (unlike her Golden Age counterpart) she's not married into wealth- she's got generational wealth (with a dad serving jail time for tax evasion). Worse yet, she's taking what little remains of her money and spending it on superficially imitating the Batman to create her Catwoman persona. She even has her own reluctant Alfred, a Catmobile, the works. Selina steals things because. She likes shiny things. And is something of a kleptomaniac. Catwoman is instantly discovered to be Selina because of course she's not as good as Batman is with keeping a secret identity (another key difference from her Golden Age counterpart, whose backstory was shrouded in mystery for a decade).

It is laughable to me that CC touts that their version of Harley Quinn has an origin of her own outside of the Joker, only to turn around and make a Catwoman that is completely tied to copying a man as her origin (did they decide Harley's goofyness as a character needed to be replicated in Selina for some reason? In their supposed dark and edgy show?). What a strange choice to fixate on the part in Year One where Selina didn't like being mistaken for Batman's assistant despite being inspired by him and turn it into a quirky bit. It feels like such a regressive take that frames Selina as a sillier, whimsical version of Bruce that just spends money on a whim because women just aren't smart enough to know how to keep track of their money. They're too busy looking for shiny things to steal. The fact that both 2022 Batman and CC have a scene where Selina is looking through her many bills she's yet to pay is wild to me. How am I supposed to care for a Selina that has the expendable wealth to create a Catwoman costume, car, and gadgets, but delay paying her maid? One of these versions of Selina is far more sympathetic than the other.

Again, I get what CC is going for. Batman is characterized to be hellbent on catching criminals, Catwoman is supposed to serve as some kind of reflection of his obsession. They're both self destructive in their goals, but one is vengeance and the other is chasing thrills. But is that really as interesting a foil as having Catwoman be marginalized, just as skilled, and making Batman second guess himself? Is it a take that strengthens Gotham as a setting by shedding light on its lower class characters? Is it a take that makes her worth revisiting as a perpetual rogue and not a one off episode where's she's basically a shenanigans-inducing nuisance to Batman? Evolved takes on Catwoman have talked about her desire to seek thrills and paired it with how she dismantles power. So it's not like CC's take is particularly unique, it just lacks all the depth that usually surrounds Selina's thrill seeking.

In a show that is frankly desperate to make it so Bruce doesn't have a personal relationship to his rogues gallery because he's too busy being "A cold, remorseless avenger of evil, seemingly more machine than man. Forged in the fire of tragedy, every fiber of his being is dedicated to the eradication of crime." (according to promo) that's how we end up with Barbara as the foil and humanity to both Harvey Dent and Harley Quinn. How the show focuses on the police force more than Bruce. It feels especially pointed that Catwoman is characterized this way. When she doesn't contrast Bruce, she becomes less personal to him as a character that is poverty stricken but still matches up to him in skill. She can't challenge him or his worldview, he can't find her fascinating as an equal, all of their chemistry and intrigue is erased.

All this to say that of the characters revealed for CC, I was honestly surprised that Selina wasn't one of the many characters racebent. CC followed up on a Black Jim and Barbara Gordon, two characters that have been race swapped before in previous media. Most prominently! Harley is Asian in this iteration, something never done before. So why is it that Selina doesn't follow up on the many times she's been portrayed by Black actresses?

It's because it's an actual good racebend if written well. It wouldn't be a "safe" racebend because writing Selina this way means you'd have to acknowledge racism, and it would be much more noticeable if you didn't. There is no canonized version of Asian Lois Lane that parallels her relationship to Superman as an immigrant. But there is a version of Selina as a Black woman who directly calls out white people and is aware of systemic power. It's in something as prominent and mainstream as Matt Reeves' 2022 Batman. So instead it just reads as cowardice to me that CC couldn't follow up on this evolution of Selina.

Not only does it weaken Catwoman and Batman's relationship to regress Selina this way, but it actively weakens Gotham as a setting and the very themes of Caped Crusader. I personally think all the energy that went into Harley Quinn should have been shared with (or straight up gone to) Selina Kyle. Because unlike CC's take on Harley, the way Selina Kyle's marginalization intersects with race and queerness would have actually critiqued Gotham's class corruption effectively. As a Black queer woman, Selina would be among the most vulnerable people in Gotham. We don't have prominent characters in CC that truly reflect the lower class, there are these unnamed characters Harvey Dent sits next to on a train. There are some orphans with Batfam names. A proper Catwoman reimagining that takes advantage of her evolution would have filled this gap in their narrative.

But that's not how "safe diversity" works. CC would rather racebend and canonize the queerness of a character like their take on Harley Quinn. A WOC who gets to kiss a cop and call out powerful men, but not in a way that makes white people uncomfortable.

If I could edit the Sandman quote that "The great stories will always return to their original forms" for Superheroes, I'd say "The great stories will always return to their most resonant forms" because without iterations we don't get characters like the Kents, Alfred or Catwoman as we know her today. Classics are good to look to, but we like these characters because they evolve. In my opinion, none of CC's takes on these characters of color feel resonant. They're not definitive to the level of Mister Freeze's tragic love story in BTAS, among many standout narrative choices in BTAS that continue across media iterations.

In my opinion, CC isn't as thoroughly clumsy as MAWS is in regards to POC representation and race-swaps (all characters of color in MAWS get put in the left side of that chart I made. In the Sunken Place. Where they all Missed The Movement). However, I can't help but see Caped Crusader's take on the world of Gotham as nothing more than an anecdote in the evolution of Batman's story for the modern era. "It's BTAS but superficially more diverse and with less compelling narrative choices."

[wttcsms]

"i (Nanami Kento) bet on losing dogs" x the losing dog (reader)

no other sadness in the world would do, kento nanami ;

pairing kento nanami x f!reader word count 1.5k synopsis a quiet and intimate examination of modern day suffering content contains implied abusive spouse (for reader), implied unrequited love (nanami has feelings for reader)

There is nothing in this world that Kento Nanami despises more than baseless loyalty. 

What a pathetic trait, he would think to himself. How could someone just blindly follow someone, constantly chasing after their shadow, only to be mistreated time and time again? It’s disgusting. Shameless. Weak.

He feels disgusting, shameless, weak. 

Powerless, too. That’s a new one. That’s how things usually go when it’s just the two of you; you start evoking all sorts of new emotions, like he’s a video game character and you’re helping him unlock upgrades to his character. It’s a bit disarming, really. Kento much prefers to remain as impassive as possible while in the office because unnecessarily giving up any pieces of himself to this skyscraper shithole feels like he’s letting his stupidly rich clients win. 

Kento likes routine, which is why he settles into one quickly and refuses to make adjustments unless absolutely necessary.

Login, watch the markets, log off. Nothing more, nothing less. 

And then you became his new desk partner, and his perfect, meticulous cycle is thrown off course.

Being observant does more harm than good. He notices the shiny ring on your finger and draws an invisible, never-to-be-passed boundary. He already has made up his mind on not engaging with any of his coworkers, female or male, married or otherwise, but with you, he makes the mental effort to visualize the line, the flashing red warning signs, the whole nine-yards. This is the first sign that you are going to fuck up his life. Already, you’re embedded in his insides, owning real estate in his subconscious long before he can even realize it.

At first, you don’t talk to him much; you don’t talk to most of the men working here, and Kento can’t fault you for that. Most of them are assholes, and all of them don’t have any morals. If this wasn’t the case, they wouldn’t be working here, after all.

Eventually, you start to withdraw, and Kento becomes the person you’re most comfortable with talking to. What you see is what you get with him. Kento refuses to be one of those people who are a waste of perfectly good oxygen, and he doesn’t speak unless it’s absolutely necessary. You’re in an industry where men purposely like to talk over women, just because they can get away with it. With Kento, you are given free rein of the conversation. It’s kismet, you and him.

He gets used to your constant conversation, never seeming to be put off by the fact that he doesn’t offer up his opinion unless explicitly asked. Kento normally doesn’t like it when people talk to him when he’s trying to get work done, but your voice is pleasant, your topics always interesting (“do you think there are different levels in Hell, or is a one-victim murderer being prodded by pitchforks right next to Hitler?”), and he finds that listening to you speak relaxes him somewhat. He doesn’t go home with a tightness in his shoulders and a persistent, throbbing ache in his head that aspirin can’t seem to fix. 

The first time Kento initiates conversation is when he sees you wearing a blazer during the sweltering heat of one of Japan’s most unforgiving summers. 

“A bit warm for all that,” he says, trying to adjust his tone and make it sound like a joke. Even if it did sound like a joke, he knows that your reaction would remain the same.

“Oh,” you give a nervous, insincere laugh, reflexively tugging on the sleeves even though your arms are still very much covered. “I get cold easily.”

That’s a lie. Kento knows because he knows you well enough to tell that you are the most genuine person he has ever interacted with. He doesn’t know how you ended up with this job when you’re much better suited for a career that actually helps people. He thinks back to when the office’s air conditioning went haywire and blasted the office with near-freezing temperatures. You had remained in your short-sleeved blouse, saying that you love the cold.

He doesn’t call you out on it, though. He just makes a noise from the back of his throat and turns back to his monitor. 

He can only pretend to ignore your erratic behavior for so long. You keep yourself covered to the point where you make a nun seem indecent. You withdraw from him, not initiating conversation unless Kento brings something up (he’s never been good at making small talk, and so more often than not, the conversation fizzles out quickly and awkwardly). And then you come to work with a black eye, and Kento refuses to let you suffer in silence any longer.

You break down and cry, feeling pathetic, feeling lost. You beg him not to say anything to anybody, that this is just a rough patch, that this’ll pass, and everything will be okay. Amidst your sobs, Kento finds himself wondering who you’re trying to convince right now. 

He holds you on the comedown. 

Now, there’s a new cycle. Things don’t get better for you; it doesn’t take a fucking genius to figure that one out. If a man lays his hands on you once, he’ll do it again. And again. And again. 

To take a life is a serious thing, but sometimes, there are worse ways to kill someone without ever murdering them. Your husband is killing you right now, a slow, soul-sucking type of death, and Kento would like to kill him. Some people are more curse than human. 

What did your husband do, Kento wonders, to make you fall in love with him? What can your husband do to make you finally wake up and realize that he is entirely undeserving of your love? 

Kento Nanami does not belong to any religion, does not attend church, does not even bother questioning the possibilities of a potential afterlife because his current life is already a bust as is. But after every late night he spends comforting and consoling you, holding you while you wet his button-down with your tears, he goes home and prays that you get the strength to fucking leave him. Pack your bags and get the hell out of Tokyo. Even if it means he’ll never see you again, the only person who makes this insufferable existence somewhat bearable. 

But the cycle doesn’t seem to ever break. He’s watching you fade away, and he decides that all the faith systems are fucked up for ignoring his pleas. 

“You should leave him.” He tells you, handing you a tissue. It’s technically a waste of breath; he tells you this shit all the time, and you never take his advice, but he says it anyway. Foolishly hoping that this time will be the time where you decide to listen to him. 

(And besides, he finds that anything he says to you could never be a waste.)

“But I love him.” You give him that same sad, watery smile, and Kento wants to pity you, but you wouldn’t accept it. Outwardly, he treats you the same as he used to, before he knew all that stuff that happens to you behind closed doors, because he knows what it’s like to be treated like you’re incapable of processing anything but kindness. The sweet, sugary kind of kindness, too — none of that blunt, pragmatic stuff. Kismet, he snorts. How fortunate that the kindness you need — re: blunt, pragmatic — is the only type he’s capable of giving to you.

Being treated like you’re surrounded by broken glass and everyone around you is trying desperately to avoid it makes people feel even worse. When Yu died, everyone acted like not being overly nice to Kento would somehow make him snap and go off the deep-end. The fact of the matter is, none of these people have ever been so overly cautious around him, and it actually made the pain of losing Yu somehow more unbearable. 

There are lots of replies that rest on the tip of his tongue. 

But does he love you? 

Why? 

Have some self respect, holy shit.

Your love is killing you from the inside out.

I could love you.

He tosses away your snotty tissues into the trash can, somehow not disgusted by you even though you think he should be. His grocery list now includes painkillers, band-aids, and bruise ointment. He thinks prayers are a waste of time, and before bed, he takes a shot in the dark and hopes some benevolent god is rooting for you like he is. There is nothing in the world that Kento Nanami despises more than baseless loyalty.

“I know.” And he leaves it at that.

[fatuismooches]

I was just thinking and like... pet names that Dottore would use? Are you kidding me??

Like, when he's teasing, he would use something like "Doll" to just make sure you know he's playing around. Just a little doll to play with.

"Don't make that face, you know I'm just joking, doll."

But if it was a more serious thing? He strikes me as a "my love" kinda guy. Or even "dearest" occasionally.

"Good morning, my love."

"Are you hungry, dearest?"

I like to think occasionally if he's busy and/or needs alone time he just pulls off his gloves, walks over to reader, cups their cheeks and

"Honey, sweetheart, light of my life, would you like to spend some time around the segments? Thank you, I love you."

RAAAAAAH HE MAKES ME INSANE

Although Dottore uses pet names a lot more frequently than his younger selves did (they still cringe a bit at it) of course he rarely ever uses them to fully or truly be romantic. There are times when cute ones like "my (be)love(d)/dear(est)" slip out without much thought, or perhaps you're especially vulnerable and need something more soothing. Whenever these moments happen, they never fail to be endearing and warm your heart, considering how foreign it feels to hear such things come out of that man’s mouth. You never get quite used to it and he most definitely abuses this.

…But a lot of time he uses them to rile you up or tease you, to see your expression change every couple of seconds at his sheer audacity. He finds it very amusing to see you chew on your lip, struggling to find the words to quip back like you normally do when bantering. It’s an experiment of sorts for the scholar(s). (Because the older segments also tend to partake in this to gather results.)

Dottore also loves to tease you with darling. He tends to stretch the word out too, dragging it out as he purrs it into your ear, in a very successful attempt (much to your dismay) to get you to calm down whenever he needs to - you can't be mad at him anymore when he goes into that tone, can you?

It’s also really obvious when Dottore's being sarcastic with his pet names like you said… the half-sincere and half-insincerity makes you pout a bit but, you’re not too mad about it. That’s just how he is sometimes. You’ll just go and bother some other segments and let them flirt with you, and then wait a bit for Prime to eventually come back and drag you away.

If you also happen to have any pet names that make you cringe, occasionally he likes to purposely use them on you to see you get embarrassed, laughing at your groans. Unfortunately, you won't be able to get him embarrassed. His main expressions toward your pet names are 1) indifference as he hums in response 2) confusion at something unusual or weird 3) mild annoyance if you continue to call him that weird pet name.

[corviiids]

I really liked your analysis on the “core” of both Joker and Akechi. I agree that neither the detective prince or the black mask “is” Akechi at his core; but rather, he’s fractured. My question to you is, do you think we ever see the “true” Goro Akechi within the canon? It is my opinion that we do likely in Rank 6 just for a little bit and in fragments during the engine room. And by that logic, what do you think the “true” Akechi would be like in a post canon scenario where the DP/BM are gone?

thank you so much and really good question. in my personal opinion we definitely see parts of his sincere self but there's sort of an asterisk attached to that (ill expand) and more importantly even in those truthful moments we never really see the Whole of him because as i said before i don't think his sense of self is really collected enough into a unified whole to be able to show it off even if he wanted to, at least at that point in his life

im like turning this question over in my hands bc im about to go into a bunch of this stuff in the next chapter of my longfic and i dont want to just say the same thing twice, but basically (this time it isn't as long thank god. it's still a bit long)

i think even in the moments akechi is letting you see him in canon such as in rank 6 (and i think you're right i do think at rank 6 he's exposing a bit of himself to you. most of himself. all of himself. he is naked) he's doing so deliberately, because unveiling a bit of truth is a very potent tool in trying to get someone's trust (in this case ren's) and convincing them to swallow the rest of a lie. so while he's showing you something real, i think his intentions are still very guarded, so i would still say he's holding up a facade at that point

black mask in the engine room is more complicated because i think that's the closest he gets to being unguarded during canon. look it's like multilayered because i think when he's being the detective prince he's aware that he's being false because he's doing it on purpose, but when he's the black mask he's much less aware because at that point the insincerity is just something that's built into his understanding of himself so it becomes less a deliberate facade and more a failure to comprehend who he is on an internal level? so i think as black mask in the engine room he's not lying to you anymore. he's just not like... self-actualised enough that we can really call the black mask the "whole" of who goro akechi is, because he sees himself as a villain with an expiration date and so he's kind of deliberately made his self-understanding quite shallow. but it's close. i think that's the most sincere he ever intentionally gets.

re: postcanon - this is really interesting to mull over because i think generally people agree that third semester akechi is like, again, as close as we can get to akechi not masking around you. but i also think that's mostly just because he's being mean, and it's easier to buy meanness as sincerity than niceness. im going into this in the next chapter too i have to figure out how to reword this

but akechi in third sem IS masking. akechi in third sem is a man who thinks he's dead. that expressionlessness isn't just him not bothering to put the smile on anymore, it's him coating his entire existence in a layer of nihilism and apathy because in his mind he doesn't exist anymore and how are you meant to cope with that? it's definitely still more sincere than the detective prince, and i think it's closer to what his personality would be removed from his circumstances. well, that raises another question on a more abstract level LOL about how much of a person's personality IS just... reactivity to circumstances. like is it even meaningful to ask this question? is it useful to try and remove someone into a contextless vacuum to determine their "true self". i think no so to what point is it relevant to try and determine which of a person's circumstances are sufficiently extreme that they should be considered outliers and at what point does it just become a futile exercise in trying to achieve, like, the character equivalent of nagel's view from nowhere I'M GETTING OFF TRACK THI SISNT WHAT YOU ASKED

THE POINT IS. postcanon i think we could expect akechi to resemble his third sem self to an extent but i think a little less blank, a little more reactive and emotional. furthermore i think even when the detective prince and the black mask are gone as conscious masks elements of those personalities would still remain in akechi's character, like, i still think he'd do the ^_^ in public, i still think he'd be unhinged when context allows, because i very firmly believe that (not just for akechi but for everyone in general, but especially for akechi) the choices you make when you're masking and those masks that you wear ARE part of your true self and not just a disguise this is going to show up in longfic too

so i think akechi goro is a liar, he's a performer, he's ruthless, he's flat and dry, he knows how to play the game. he was once idealistic and it's crossed into bitterness so he reacts to his circumstances with cynicism and impatience. he's guarded and carefully filtered in most situations, but in familiar situations where he feels he doesn't have too much to lose (eg with the few people he thinks he can mostly trust) he's smug and cutting and doesnt suffer fools easily. he doesnt pull punches, but dont mistake the bluntness for honesty. i think to akechi truth and information and vulnerability will always be a weapon

[whoreofabaddon]

I apologize somewhat insincerely for the pause in my regular posting, but I'm about to talk in depth about some of the power dynamics we see at play in IwtV.

Particularly, something that has been weighing on my mind is this post by @platoapproved in which we see Louis lightly stroking the bruises of Armand's trauma. Despite the fact the OP caught those hints so amazingly, the reblogs turn into an absolute cesspool in which there are many baffling accusations. So I wanted to touch on this from the perspective of someone who has both been in multiple D/s relationships (albeit as a lesbian and not a gay man) and is also a psychotherapist so trained in trauma responses.

The first thing I wanted to say is that we’re never given any reason to believe Louis is anything but a compassionate and skilled dominant partner. There are no moments portrayed between them where he oversteps any of Armand’s boundaries or where he uses their dynamic for manipulative purposes. We’re actually shown the opposite of that in the scenes where their power exchange come into play. He soothes Armand’s trepidation around setting boundaries and doesn’t force him to witness a new vampire being made. The one time we see Louis truly push Armand to accept a command is when he’s preventing him from killing Daniel, and even then, he validates that he’s hurt Armand enough to understand why he wants to. 

Similarly, we’re actually never shown Armand pushing Louis to take part in that dynamic when he doesn’t want to like so many keep claiming. I suspect that it was actually thrilling for Louis to meet a vampire older and more powerful than his maker, only to find that vampire would willingly allow him to have the control and authority between them. After having spent years in an abusive relationship, it must have seemed to be a gesture of great love to be shown such deference after Lestat had treated him so cruelly and disrespectfully. 

If anything it’s likely healing due to the change in the pattern. And that, I think, is also what is happening when we see Louis begin to draw from Armand’s history of trauma and introduce that into their dynamic. I fully believe he is playing with this dangerous subject because it is something Armand has never finished processing; he's such a trusted figure in Armand's life that it is safe for them to do this together. Armand's not been able to complete the loop of thoughts surrounding his abusive childhood, and so his mind is going to replay it over and over and seek out ways to ‘master’ it. That means his brain has to be convinced that he’s ‘solved’ the issue and the risk is abated. So he is going to keep returning to it or desperately avoiding it, and Armand’s patterns lean towards pursuing the subject matter over and over. The fact that it is Louis drawing on the memories means he knows he’s able to have the freedom of changing the ending; he goes ‘to coffin’ with his maitre at the end, he’s not truly given away for someone else’s sexual pleasure, and the fear and humiliation is touched on but ends before it can get worse. This time the offer is declined, this time he can reply snappily ("I wouldn't let you near my neck..."), and this time he doesn’t have the horrible emotional push-pull of ‘how dare you do as I tell you’ which Marius tended to use against him. (I also think Louis is referencing Armand’s blood being addictive to Daniel in the books, but that’s another layer to explore at a later time).

So I’ll say that, unlike some commenters, I don’t think it’s ‘ugly’ that Louis is mirroring aspects of Marius’ behaviors. Instead, I think the vulnerability and trust that it would require for them to successfully do this shows something very beautiful about the way they relate to each other.  

(Mandatory disclaimer that I am not suggesting that everyone ought to drop out of therapy and process their trauma using an untrained partner and kink. There is a high chance that you can trigger your partner. I am simply illustrating the psychology and perceived intentions at play and why this could feel satisfying to the characters).  And tagging @thequeenofsastiel for the promised meta.

[mouwrites]

Congrats on the four hundred followers. When this open can I get one for Mercy by Shawn Mendes and Fem reader with Lloyd. Thank you

Loved the vibes for this one!! :D

Word count: 1.1k

Ninjago - Mercy (Lloyd) (400 follower event)

The sunset’s angry hues were giving in to the calmer shades of night on the horizon, the sun’s fervent flames being doused in the blue ocean that seemed to stretch on into infinity. You blinked slowly, giving your eyes a rest from the intense view.

Keeping your eyes closed for a second, you listened to the waves crashing on the rocks below. From up high on the cliffside it was a soft hiss, but you knew that down there it was a deafening roar of water.

“Hear that?” You smiled, opening your eyes to glance at the blonde boy sitting beside you.

“Yeah,” he said, his gaze dropping from the horizon to his feet extended out in front of him. He was clearly thinking about something deep. Not wanting to disturb him again, you just turned back to the sunset.

Your fingers brushed through the grass, appreciating the coolness that was settling in as the light faded.

You didn’t notice, but as you moved your hands they brushed gently against Lloyd’s balled fists, which contracted even tighter at your touch.

Lloyd’s lips were pressed into a firm line. Here you were, languid and lethargic as a cloud beside him, while he was tighter than petrified wood. He always got like this when he was this close to you; his entire body would tense up, and he’d send frequent shy glances in your direction. He could never decide if he was grateful for the way you never seemed to take notice.

There were a lot of things you didn’t notice. The way he’d stare at you when you talked, the longing glances he’d send when you were across the room, the way his voice changed ever so subtly when he was talking about you… you were aloof, indifferent to it all.

And worse were the things you did, again, without notice. You’d grab his hand, pull him close, hug him, tell him how handsome he was, how brave, how kind. You’d tell him how important he was to you. You’d tell him he was your favorite.

It wasn’t that you seemed insincere; no, you were more genuine than anyone Lloyd had ever met. But that was part of the problem. How could you be so real, yet not feel something more profound around him, like he did around you?

He forced his clenched jaw to relax. It’s not like you did this on purpose, he reminded himself. Maybe it’s just me getting too attached, he lamented.

And then you said it.

“This is the type of sunset you’ve gotta share with someone special.”

And then you did it.

You smiled. The way your lips curved told him that there could be nothing more real, more special than what was between you two. But what was that?

“I can’t do this anymore, Y/n!”

You blinked, your smile dropping. For a moment Lloyd was sad to see it go, but he shook his head in frustration and the feeling was gone.

“I know you don’t do it on purpose, but… can’t you see what you do to me?”

“What do I do to you?” You looked concerned.

“You—!” Lloyd gesticulated vaguely, not quite sure what he was doing himself. He threw his hands up with a sigh, giving up on his hands and trying words again.

“When I’m around you, my heart beats so fast. Your smile makes me feel like I’m rocketing up into the sky. Your voice is my favorite sound. Sometimes I just sit there wishing you’d tell me to do something, anything, so that I can feel like I’m doing something for you, too. Because you’re always the highlight of my day. The days I don’t see you are almost unbearable.”

He ran a hand through his hair, bringing his knees to his chest and keeping his gaze directed downwards.

“I just… I’m like your puppet. You’ve got this grasp on me. I’d do anything for you. I’d sacrifice my life for you; I’d do it twice!”

You were just watching him, eyes wide, lips parted in a shocked expression. You wanted to speak, but there were no words.

“And the worst of it is… you don’t even know that you do this to me.” His voice dropped to a miserable whisper as he said: “You don’t even feel the same.”

“Lloyd,” you said at last. It didn’t come out pitifully. Nor did it come out angrily. It was a command for his attention, and you got it straight away. You felt a strange pang of guilt as his pained eyes snapped over to you; was this really the effect you had on him?

You almost reached to hold his hands as you spoke, but you decided that this was a bad idea. Instead you just balled your fists and put them at your sides as you turned to face him.

“Lloyd… I’m able to be so affectionate towards you because that’s really how I feel. Affectionate, I mean. I… I love you! With my whole heart! I get this thrill whenever I’m able to give you a compliment or hold your hand—that’s why I do it. I guess I just never considered that you might feel the same. I’m so sorry, that must’ve been torture for you.”

“For me? What about you? You didn’t think I felt the same,” Lloyd blinked, eyebrows coming together in puzzlement.

You looked away bashfully. “Yeah, it hurt whenever you looked away all embarrassed or laughed awkwardly at me. But… I guess I misinterpreted it?”

A smile gradually curved Lloyd’s lips, and laughter began to bubble from his mouth. It became more and more intense, and you felt compelled to laugh, too.

“Are we both idiots?” Lloyd managed, wiping a tear from his eye.

“Idiots in pain. And for no reason, apparently.”

Your mouths both closed at last, the laughter leaving grins on both your lips. You stared at each other with looks of relief, of admiration, and for the first time you finally saw the affection you had for each other reflected in the others’ eyes.

And suddenly your lips were connected, and your hand was on top of Lloyd’s. His free hand held the back of your head gently, fingers subtly shifting as he felt your hair.

When you pulled apart, your foreheads came to rest against each other. You were both looking down at your hands; your thumb brushing Lloyd’s knuckles, Lloyd’s fist finally having relaxed.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“You have no idea how good it is to hear that.”

You giggled. “I could say the exact same thing.”

Thank you so much for taking part in our event!! And thanks for reading, take care loves <33

(divider by saradika)

[consistantly-changing]

Differing wants and needs in traumatized children and young adults: an analysis on Blitzø and Loona's relationship

I've seen some people hate on Loona for the way she treats Blitzø, which I can understand because she varies from being slightly rude to downright mean to him at times, but I can sort of understand where she's coming from. We don't have a confirmed age for her aside from the fact that she was adopted mere weeks before turning 18 and she's about 5 years younger than Millie, which likely puts her at the age of a young adult.

The way Blitzø treats her is a mix between a young child and a pet dog (note that hellhounds are treated a lot like dogs in-universe, with being kept in "pounds" and mostly used for security purposes). In Spring Broken when Loonie expresses concerns about her makeup, Blitzø responds "aww you look perfect Loonie, as always", and we the audience know he's being sincere, but the tone he uses is more suited for someone a lot younger being consoled by a parent, and that tone could be interpreted as insincere or infantalizing when you're older. Even though Loona does see Blitzø as a father figure (in the way she almost calls him "dad" in Spring Broken, calls him "not her real dad" rather than "not her dad" in that episode, and finally properly calling him dad in episode 8), she might consider the adoption mere weeks before she turned 18 to be slightly infantalizing. It's not confirmed when hellhounds are often adopted but if it mostly happens to youth, Loona might consider herself "too much of an adult" to be adopted (not true, you can be adopted at any age).

In episode 8, she was a lot more calm with him when she requested him to pick her up from the party (admittedly she had harder things going on at the time) and when she had to take them home in the end. Being allowed to go out at night on her own to a party, then having the responsibility of putting him on the couch to sleep likely helped her feel a lot more like the young adult she is

With her hectic upbringing, she's likely desperate to be taken seriously, and Blitzø doesn't do that. She gets along fairly well with Millie in her own teasing way, and Millie treats her like an adult. Moxxie treats her like an equal but she's rude to him, and this could be some kind of projection on her part.

In episode 8 she encounters two catty hellhounds who recognize her and make fun of her, showing she was likely the "runt" in most situations, so growing up she learned that to not be picked on, you need to pick on others. She thinks it's either her or Moxxie on the bottom tier so she's hostile to him in an attempt to "keep her standing" with the group.

Back to Blitzø: her interaction with him in The Full Moon in which she tells him that Stolas likely wanted out of their situationship was one of her... not quite "happier" moments with him, but she did seem less hostile than she often is. I believe that advice comes from personal experience, possibly from the catty hellhounds in which they were giving quiet signals like those that they didn't want to hang out with her anymore, but she didn't pick up on them because she was so excited to have friends, and now she's hypervigilant for any signals that someone doesn't want her around so she can dip before they cut her off. Sound familiar?

I believe it's fairly obvious that Blitzø sees some of himself in Loona, and he's adopted her to try and give her a life she deserves and stop her from becoming exactly like him in the future, and so Blitzø, in seeing a younger version of himself in Loona, gives her what he wanted as a child, unconditional love and protection. He was exploited as a circus performer in front of a crowd who always saw him as second best compared to his more talented companions, and had a father who saw him as a commodity that wasn't as good as his friend, and a mother who did seem to love him but died due to his actions. However Blitzø doesn't realize that they want different things, and Loona wants to be given respect and responsibility. From the way the catty hellhounds looked down on her in episode 8 and the way the pound owner assumed she'd "never amount to anything" in Seeing Stars, and considering that hellhounds appear to be treated as actual dogs in universe, being bought and trained mostly for security and other dog like activities, Loona wants to be taken seriously. To Loona, Blitzø's protectiveness feels overbearing (in Spring Broken where he gets between Loona and Tex) and his compliments feel insincere (see my previous point on him complimenting her makeup).

Do I expect any of this to be addressed? I'm not sure. I hope it is, it would be a good moment of character growth for both Blitzø to learn how his actions still affect the people he cares about, and for Loona to open up about her own issues and insecurities.

[usuimisaki]

It occurred to me that one of the main reasons Horikashi fails to progress is because every time Hori decides he should be nicer to Kashima, she fucks it up, typical Kashima-style. Hori’s embarrassment doesn’t help.

Chapter 15: When Hori was holding her and realized that that was iffy since she was a girl, Kashima just got competitive and picked up Hori instead.

Chapter 16: When Kashima asked which type of skirt Hori preferred and he became conscious that she was a girl, she fucked it up by switching her skirt with his pants.

Chapter 42: When Kashima had a cold—she fucked up twice. First when Hori admitted that he wanted her to get better, she tried to pick him up again. Then later when Hori realized that he was harsh in not saying the board that read “Kashima’s super cute!” since Kashima was a girl, he gave her one last chance to make him say whatever. But Kashima just writes a difficult-to-read character and Hori responds in one of his best lines, “I shoulda known that’s the type of person you are (I can’t even read that).”

Chapter 46: At the beach, Kashima starts to take off her tank top. Hori’s embarrassed at the idea of seeing Kashima’s bikini, and then Kashima ruins it further by implying that Hori wants to wear the bikini.

Chapter 65: Hori actually gets involved with the kokkuri because he was too embarrassed to let Kashima use it to say that he liked her. Then there’s the thing about him looking under her skirt, in his words, because her smug expression annoyed him. IDK SMH.

Chapter 68: When Kashima finds out that Hori likes her legs, at first she tries to show them off. Then she decides he’s jealous of her legs. Just as Hori comes to talk to her after being scolded by drama members to be nicer to her, she says she supports him growing even 1 mm. Cue violence.

Chapter 78: When Hori genuinely says that he likes Kashima while drunk, she eats it up. He finally declares that he’d like for them to do more club activities together, and in a rare instance of seriousness, Kashima starts coming to club regularly. Everyone congratulates Hori about this, so he gets embarrassed about being easy to read. No stalled progress exactly—except of course Kashima can’t continue going to club seriously forever.

Chapter 90: After Hori infamously realizes that Kashima might be his ideal girl, Nozaki and Mikoshiba conspire for them to meet at the pool. Hori overhears how they expect him to spoil Kashima since she’s his type and he just . . . decides to fake that behavior to meet their expectations. Not like, analyze the implications of her being his type or anything. But as foreshadowed in Chapter 68, Hori doesn’t know how to fawn over Kashima. He just buys her a bunch of cold foods and he ends of patting her head and she responds like a dog—because Hori’s acting it’s improv day. Even when he tries to play with her or get food with her or whatever (which actually might not be that unusual for them), his exaggerated tone makes Kashima think he’s insincere. In the end, Hori realizes that he really should be nicer to Kashima and rubs her head and compliments her. Kashima spoils it by bragging about how she’s Hori’s beloved kouhai the next day (Nozaki’s manga about purposely getting girls cold so you can warm them up with your body heat didn’t help). This is a rare instance of Hori fucking up due to embarrassment.

Chapter 112: While it was really Chapter 107 where in response to Kashima being hypnotized Hori admitted that he liked her, we don’t get to see the full aftermath until this chapter. As usual, Kashima is fucking it up by making a really big deal of every action of Hori’s, asking if it’s because he likes her. Mikoshiba convinces Hori to express his affection to Kashima more clearly, and Hori, dense as usual, consults a book on dogs to think about how he can treat Kashima better. In the end, he tries rubbing her head and just telling her that he likes her all the time. Rare progress, but it’s set back in Chapter 117 since Hori just decided to tell everyone that he liked them. This can also be put down to Hori’s embarrassment. He probably felt weird about treating Kashima special, so he extended his nice behavior to her to everyone else.

Chapter 136 is rare progress. I mean, Kashima gets upset that she might have stolen acting away from Hori and Hori’s so upset by her angst that he hugs her (though he then tries to play it off). Anyway, technically Kashima fucks it up by getting angry that she got the situation wrong. I mean, if she hadn’t then they could have had an even more tender moment there. They do make up later on though, just because Hori also quotes some lines to her and then . . . they have an actual sincere conversation? And reconcile? Wild.

Chapter 143: Well, I guess Kashima fucked up from the start with her lack of embarrassment about their accidental kiss. Hori even asked her to pretend to be embarrassed for his sake. Then there was some unexpected progress at the end because of mutual stupidity: Kashima wanting to redo the kiss and Hori agreeing because she had such a great expression on her face.

Chapter 146: When Hori thinks that Kashima actually has a boyfriend and starts freaking out about it (it’s ambiguous whether this is because he’s jealous or because the image in his head just doesn’t jive with Kashima acting like a girlfriend), Kashima freaks out about how Hori got tricked by Rei’s acting.

What have I learned? The main impediments are Kashima being Kashima and Hori being embarrassed/clueless about how to treat Kashima nicely. Every once in awhile, Kashima’s weird antics and Hori’s fixation on her face actually work in the favor of romance. There are actually chapters where there’s some kind of progress, like when Kashima tried to stay away from Hori in Chapter 60, so he starts picking her up from the train station. Also, “embarrassed” has two “r”s.

Edit: It took a reblog to make me realize I also had a typo at the beginning of this.

[verdemoun]

Can I have modern au Hosea just…being a dad please I’m miserable

I'm sorry I had writers block I hope you are doing okay please enjoy much Hosea being a dad.

Hosea remembers the books the gang is reading and will ask how they're finding them and details. He remembers and shows interest in what chapter they're up to despite not reading the book himself.

No one is allowed to fall asleep on the couch without waking up covered in a blanket because Hosea will never risk them being cold.

No matter what time of night he is contacted Hosea will drag himself out of bed to pick up whichever of his wayward children has gotten lost/drunk from whatever address they have send him.

Hosea drops off food whenever one of the gang move out because learning to budget in modern era is a burden even to those who grew up in modern era. He will always include a borderline dismissive note of 'Bessie made too much' despite the fact a) he is the primary cook after he learns to use modern appliances and b) he always makes their favorite meal.

Hosea remembers everyone's favorite snacks and will go out of the house with the sole purpose of picking them up when someone is having a tough time.

If someone is interrupted, he will ask them to continue the story after the interruption is over. This includes Sean, who is garbage at telling stories and will tell four stories the story he is trying to tell reminded him of.

Due to convincing himself he is too old to work and not really willing to learn about modern era Hosea is a house husband. Scolding people for walking over freshly mopped floors, cooking dinner (mostly olde time recipes he barely adapts to modern ingredients), sitting down reading definitely not waiting for the sound of Bessie getting home.

Being too enthusiastic about any of the gang's achievements, no matter how slight. Embarrassingly enthusiastic. Applauded the first time Arthur successfully parallel-parked. Stands up and shouts 'that's my son!' every single time Lenny gets another certificate/degree.

Insists on walking everyone down the aisle if they decide to get married. Cries every single time. Almost buckled over in tears when John and Abigail were married in modern era because they both asked him to walk them down the aisle. To be fair no one cried as hard as Arthur, who needed a 'smoke break' in the middle of them saying their vows.

If someone is having an obvious quiet but doesn't necessarily want to be alone moment he will make hot cocoa and ask what is going on. Maybe it's the inner conman or maybe he is just more trustworthy post-timewarp but he is very good at getting people to talk about what's bothering them especially when they can't fully articulate it. He knows all the gang's secrets and will take them to the grave (well, next grave.)

Will remember that cool thing someone pointed out while shopping and secretly buy it as a gift. However he is useless at waiting until gift-giving occasions so it's just weeks later 'surprise! here's that thing you wanted. Don't ask what I paid for it'. (because he didn't)

Constantly tells people he's proud of them. Regrets not saying it more in canon era. Esp Arthur and John but tells everyone he's proud of the people they're becoming/became. To the point it almost feels insincere but the smile promises it's genuine every time.

[tooloudamind]

I know that the fateful Final Fifteen of Good Omens S2 has been analysed to death and that there have been countless metas about the same (of which I may have missed some, so please direct me to any that may help answer my questions), but I'm still wondering what else Aziraphale could possibly have done at the end of S2 other than accept the Metatron's offer. I do interpret GO2's ending as being somewhere between “Aziraphale regressed completely to his S1 mentality” and “Aziraphale pushed Crowley away on purpose as part of his game of 4D chess”.

As we saw, the Metatron enters the bookshop apparently just in the nick of time, when Michael is making (empty? did Aziraphale have any way of knowing that, until the Metatron butted in?) threats of erasing Aziraphale's name from the Book of Life. I find this transition extremely jarring, as most of you probably did— what important part of the conversation did we miss, after Gabriel and Beelzebub and the other demons left, for us to jump directly to Michael re-asserting her earlier resolution of Extreme Sanctions? When did Crowley become sprawled over, almost immobile in Aziraphale’s armchair? Were Aziraphale or Crowley going to do anything about the threat that was currently being made to Aziraphale's life? These are all things that make my plot brain itch. But if there’s any purpose for this abrupt turn of events, it’s to emphasise this— Aziraphale's existence as he knows it is coming to an end (the “precious, peaceful, fragile existence” he had carved out with Crowley— which Crowley himself had called fragile for a reason), and there’s nothing he or Crowley can do about it. He is at a crossroads, and it is at this point that the Metatron approaches with a coffee— and makes it clear to Aziraphale as to exactly which options are available to him.

Even so, Aziraphale's first reaction upon hearing that he was to be appointed as Supreme Archangel was to say, right to the Metatron's face, that he didn't want to go back to Heaven (which btw, S1 Aziraphale could never. I'm so proud of my bby for coming this far) He really only seems to become amenable to the offer when the Metatron brings up the possibility of re-instating Crowley— and even then, we don't get to see Aziraphale's reaction in the moment, only the excitement that he later projects towards Crowley. When Aziraphale all giddily tells Crowley that he, Aziraphale, might have misjudged the Metatron— it probably is less because he’s getting something like a gold star from Heaven and more because Crowley’s getting the gold star, so to speak. I’ve been seeing about how Neil wrote in the flashback that GO2 started with, after he wrote the ending and realised there needed to be a reason to care— and the revelation that Aziraphale really did know the angel that Crowley once was, does put everything about the ending into more context (so that’s just brilliant). We know that Aziraphale has seen Crowley at his most carefree, and that Aziraphale was also always the one who was more cautious about Heaven. Many have theorised that in Aziraphale’s eyes, Heaven’s greatest failing was that it sentenced Crowley, of all angels, to Fall— Crowley, the once-angel whose inherent goodness wasn’t extinguished even when his essential nature as a demon forbade it (or at least, according to the propaganda that Aziraphale has been fed for all his existence)— and I do think it might have been the first in a long, long row of dominoes that were set to fall.

When the Metatron made his (clearly insincere) offer to undo Crowley’s Fall, Aziraphale might have clung onto it as a glimmer of hope that Heaven was indeed capable of righting its wrongs. Why would Aziraphale have reason to suspect that Crowley would react as badly as he did? From his point of view, and even from that of the audience, Crowley had always seemed at odds with his apparent demonhood and the fact that he even had to Fall. From Aziraphale’s point of view, Crowley won’t have to pretend to be a “bad demon” anymore— he can just do good (and be with Aziraphale), openly, without fearing for the consequences. Yet, even when the Metatron sends Aziraphale off after their little chinwag, he still doesn’t match the enthusiasm with which he confronts Crowley. Had he psyched himself up for the sole purpose of appealing to Crowley? (… ouch.) And Aziraphale has had a listening problem all season, often distracted from whatever Crowley’s trying to say, but here it comes into play worse than ever. Crowley reiterates that they’re “on their own side” to Aziraphale in the most explicit way he has since the bandstand in S1, but this seems to fly over Aziraphale’s head almost entirely, with Aziraphale then proceeding to make exactly the same offer to Crowley except in terms of the Metatron’s newly proposed status quo. It’s as if Aziraphale didn’t want to consider any other possibility where Crowley and he could continue being together— or couldn’t.

I think that Aziraphale really wanted to make the best of a bad situation, and for Crowley to come with him, emotional baggage be damned. (Otherwise, he wouldn’t have tried so hard to stop Crowley leaving.)

And a bad situation it is— let’s lay out all the cards on the table, shall we? Aziraphale and Crowley were left alone by their respective ex-employers only because they’d scared both sides enough with their body swap shenanigans. The implied precondition, of course, is that they wouldn’t further meddle in the business of Heaven and Hell— confirmed when Gabriel and Beelzebub are explicitly given this ultimatum, and they decide to fuck off together and find their freedom in Alpha Centauri. Meanwhile, Aziraphale and Crowley have already exhausted their first, and only, strike— and Michael seems to have found another threat that seems dangerously effective. (Really, though, for all Aziraphale thinks Crowley could even bear to return to Heaven as an angel— does Crowley think Aziraphale will ever be content leaving the Earth and its denizens to the tender mercies of Heaven and Hell? Have those two ever been able to go without sticking their noses where they’re not supposed to, for all Crowley pretends not to care? Heaven and Hell already had more reason to chase down Aziraphale and Crowley than they ever had for Gabriel and Beelzebub.) They were at the end of their road, and Crowley knew it as well as Aziraphale did— except Aziraphale was in denial the entire season and Crowley revived his fantasy of them running away together that he only ever brings up when they’re literally in an end-of-the-world situation. Did the Metatron threaten Crowley? He might have— but the question is, does he even need to do that?

The Metatron isn’t negotiating. Michael may not have the authority to edit the Book of Life, but if that authority does rest with anyone, it’s with the Metatron. This isn’t a choice that Aziraphale can merely walk away from, and he knows it. Who would choose death over coffee, if given the choice— if that can even be called a choice? “So predictable”, as the Metatron says.

Still, after Crowley kisses Aziraphale back to his senses, Aziraphale is on the verge of throwing all caution to the wind anyway. The Metatron divulges to him for what exactly it is that Heaven is taking Aziraphale back into its clutches, and Aziraphale exchanges a single, vulnerable look with Crowley which could say a million different things— You were right—I wish you were with me—or is it just a goodbye? And then he gets in the elevator anyway, and flashes the creepiest smile we’ve ever gotten from Aziraphale during the entirety of the show. To me, this is the demented expression of a not-man who is realising he has absolutely nothing to lose.

Personally, I think that Heaven won’t know what hit them.

[dmbakura]

Would you say AA has this sense of thinking he /needs/ to be like Cazador, because that's "what works" and what's "safe"? Like this is who he has to be, and nothing else is viable? That's how I interpreted AA's masking (especially during his sex scene, it seems very insincere and more like what he thinks he needs to be than what he wants) and I can't really make it work with Neil's statements honestly.

I also think he's very much capable of cruelty but the way AA acts is something else entirely to me because it's so goofily a Stereotypical Cartoon Villain Big Bad Sexy Vampire which doesn't really come across as honest in the way, let's say, Gortash's antics seem honest from what we know of the character. Maybe I'm misinterpreting what masking means, idk. I'm definitely not saying it's not honest that he wants to do all that power-hungry shit and that he's secretly a pure tortured soul because that's a lame ass reading that contradicts canon but everything about how he carries himself is so uncanny and all those underlying themes of being really fucking afraid and unable to face what happened/running away from it don't lead me to believe he's living an authentic life, more like he's trapped inside himself.

I don't really see how this contradicts anything Neil said. He never says AA is Astarion's most authentic self at all, or even that he's healthy and confident, only that he stops masking with theatrical deflections.

You also have to account for the supernatural element here too. In dnd lore, most true vampires basically succumb to personality rot and become paranoid and obsessive scheming freaks. I know the 'vampire ascendant' is a new thing and bg3 plays with the lore a bit more but considering this is alluded to by Astarion AND Cazador and heavily reflected in AAs behavior, I'm willing to believe that the vampire ascendant is literally just that but on steroids. Hence the cartoonish behavior lol

Astarion's a complex character. A lot of his arc is a question about how trauma can shape a person and what remains (if anything) after they've gone through something inconceivable, and if they can move past it and reclaim an identity for themself. I don't think it's a coincidence that his background is mostly vague and we don't actually know the kind of person he was before he was turned (unlike *those* fans, I also don't believe 'corrupt magistrate' means he was 'always destined to be evil' or some nonsense like that.) So much of his character is informed by the choices made in the game and how the experiences shape his worldview. He's by far the most dynamic character in the game and people want there to be a simple answer to his character (whether that be 'he's a poor uwu baby who did nothing wrong' or 'he's always been irredeemably evil and is incapable of change') when the reality is there just isn't one.

All this to say, same as what I've been saying from the beginning, both endings for him serve a purpose. They're two sides of the same coin for his character. They are both true to Astarion and his development and they're meant to contrast in ways that make you think deeper about him and his story. They absolutely cannot be taken in a vacuum and I am just so annoyed with people not engaging with the story on this level and wanting there to be simple moral platitudes to everything because they're uncomfortable with complexity.

[silverjurors]

OK TUMBLR WONT LET ME EDIT MY DRAFTS SO IM ANSWERING TWO ASKS FROM @reterols (thank you for your kind words I have read them and I also stalk your blog on a regular basis because sometimes being a Zanus shipper feels like you and me screaming about these two into an echo chamber)

A zanus headcanon(s) that make u giggle bc it's just stupid/irrelevant but it's definitely canon.

This one will be glorified story beats for a Very Specific Moment of backstory that I have thought of for actual months but cannot figure out a way to include in my story outline aside from minor references. Idk how fluffy/cute/stupid it is because they're always a little bit Deranged whenever i write those two, but im doing my best. It also gives me a prime chance to ramble about how the position of Silver Death actually works in my rewrite!!

Also this is really long so I'm putting it under a cut because I feel bad

Janus was 22 when Zane took the position of High Priest to the Church of the Divine, and a few months afterward, he asked them to join the Jury

However, Janus wasn't exactly content with just joining the Jury under any position, because, well, that would be some pretty obvious nepotism, even in O'Khasis

So, to prevent this from being an issue, they decided they were going to become the Silver Death

Many had tried to become the Silver Death since the death of the last one 17 years ago, and all of them had failed

This is because in order to become the Silver Death, you must hold a cursed object known as the Donmai that once belonged to Xavier himself

The Donmai is very dangerous, and if not handled by someone with utter devotion to something, it can cause insanity or even kill the attempted wielder. If the person trying to attain it's blessing is insincere, or not completely devoted and dedicated to whatever they are holding in their mind, they will go insane and/or die

Janus wasn't worried, they knew what was driving them forward in life, and the only thing that was giving them purpose

Zane was not so sure. He did believe that they cared for him and would defend and protect him with their life (they'd proven it several times over at that point) but he also knew that the Donmai had a super high bar to pass, and even the slightest waver in your resolve would lead to insanity

But they insisted, and if Zane figured that if couldn't trust Janus, who could he really trust at that point?

They prepared for the ceremony, and the people took to the streets to either watch the selection of a new Silver Death (hasn't happened for over 30 years) or watch another idiot die in a desperate bid for power (entertaining!)

The Donmai was brought out in it's elaborate protective case, everyone else wearing thick gloves and protective gear to let them handle it

Some people were praying to Irene or Eamonn or even Xavier for this to not go as horrifically wrong as all the previous ceremonies, the tension in the air was thick and nobody seemed to believe they could do it

Janus did feel scared at that point, they had never feared death before, but they didn't want to die like this, in a ceremony. They had always imagined their own death on the battlefield, or some form of combat

The time had almost arrived, and it was in front of them, just within arms reach. It didn't look particularly dangerous, but they knew better.

A tradition that took place just before the attempt to attain the Donmai's favor was for the High Priest to whisper an inaudible short prayer to whoever was attempting to complete the ceremony, they mutually agreed it would be a prayer to Xavier beforehand

But, when Zane leaned in to whisper the prayer, the words failed him. He couldn't think properly, so, instead, he said

“Don't let it take you from me, I still need you.”

And he pulled away, leaving their heart racing in their chest. All thoughts of fear or doubt vanished from their mind, all thoughts of anything but the man in front of them vanished. That was why they existed - they were for him, and they were going to prove it

So they took hold of the Donmai with obsessive focus, and their flesh burned at the contact with the cursed metal, but Janus hardly noticed compared to their own emotions and their heart racing

Holding the Donmai was unlike any experience they had ever had, it was like their whole body ached and burned and froze all at once, their good eye blurred with involuntary tears. The cursed object seemed to be demanding something of them, a reason it should let them live

And those words echoed in their mind - that Zane needed them. That was all the reason they needed for anything, that their life may as well be his, and they didn't get to die until he saw fit. That they were his, so, really, any pain didn't seem all that bad compared to the joy it gave them to have that privilege.

Suddenly, the pain stopped. And it was done. And they were alive, sane, and successful.

The people of O'Khasis cheered their name, the crowd in near hysterics at the blessing, thanking Irene, thanking the Divine, thanking Xavier

And Janus the Silver Death looked at Zane, and not even the mask he wore could disguise his joy

The end. Ta da. I should probably turn this into a one-shot but I have no motivation soooo

[johnny-chaos]

Gordon is notably characterized by his obnoxious and deeply uncool behavior but he's also defined by an incredible earnestness and desire for things to be taken seriously . And Benrey, on the other hand, is obnoxious too but for the exact opposite reasons-- devaluing things that, by Gordon's standards, should be taken seriously (such as murder) while playing up the absurdity and inconsistent application of rules in general (and also acting like a fucking third grader).

In that way the two of them have a lot in common, but with that one major caveat of seriousness . Really, they're both pretty earnest, and they both just wanna make jokes n have fun-- Gordon wants to be a justin.tv streamer and he talks to himself like an anime protagonist (GORDON SPRINT!!) and Benrey's whole thing is having his day ruined bc he couldn't play games with his friends . But Benrey also knows treating the game like it's real is idiotic, while Gordon can't help but treat it as if it were (and Scorpy Socpens n Wayne R. TV use this for some extremely good comedy).

In addition to THAT, you have Coomer, who, over the course of the webseries, realizes his life is a lie and his world is fake - subsequently becoming more lucid, serious, and aloof. His character arc brings up the question of What Does It Truly Mean, To Be Alive? (a tried and true story point !) They're all functioning on different understandings of their world-- they all understand nothing matters, but Coomer is just now realizing, and Benrey's always known it, and Gordon method acts so hard that he almost forgets it.

With that context HLVRAI becomes an argument on existential nihilism -- Coomer presents the question "nothing is real so is living this life valuable?" and Benry's response is essentially "no- if nothing matters then why care ? Do whatever you want forever ." And Gordon's is "of COURSE it's valuable, fuck you, this may not matter but I can care and try and hope and LIVE, BABY!!! leave me and my magmar plush OUTTA THIS!!" Quite a 4chan vs Tumblr argume(I am shot and killed)

But even though I describe Gordon as v earnest and sincere, it's not enitrely accurate, bc while he has a lot of Genuine Expressions of Emotion, he also seems to use anger to mask laughter ("if i had a knife i would gut you" said with an audible smile). Makes him seem less genuine and more like he's playing up the reactivity, but you still get a rly potent feeling that these are people he enjoys being around, and I'm sure that's also just Wayne R. TV playing gmod with his friends bleeding through .

Coomer's obviously the MOST sincere, he has literally the only lines that are SUPPOSED to be taken seriously. And Benrey may not be very sincere, but he IS (in Wayne R TV's words) the most sentimental, which is REALLY weird. He's constantly talking bullshit, but Scorpy Socpens still gives him these moments where it seems like he might actually care ("we should turn back.. we're going further . into HELL" and "why are we here? ..what happened to your arm?!") LIKE!! he and the others are all entertainers, they're all supposed to make you laugh (except for Dr. Coomer at one point), but Benrey especially, as he's this manifestation of insincerity and irony and absurdity--and yet?? some semblance of motivation??

If hlvrai is an argument on nihilism, then it's ALSO about how what makes life worth living is the people around you actually . Because of benrey's "nothing matters" mentality he gains Gordon's ire and subsequently becomes the antagonist as his stupid shenanigans are reframed as actively hindering the group (even though yeah EVERYONE gets in the way of everything all the time). Thus he becomes the Big Bad even though he's really just, not cut out for it . he knows his actions don't have meaningful consequences, but that sentimentality inevitably slips out, and yeah, his whole purpose is to be funny. you can't be funny to yourself now that's just embarrassing. he has the powers to shapeshift and time travel but he only does it when it's relevant to Gordon. i am constantly thinking about how he says "it replenishes your electronics" in this calm, mellow voice like he's got nothing to worry about and is just enjoying the moment . he just wants to play games with people, man!!!

and even though Gordon is so SO fucking uncool, he's allowed to be because he actually gives a shit!! even though they're both annoying, Benrey is the one who becomes the villain because of how detached he is. Gordon can stumble over his words and be clumsy as hell but he cares so deeply-- about the others, about putting on a show-- that his embarrassing attempts at being the hotshot hero of the story don't detract from his value. yeah this world isn't real but my friends are. yeah nothing matters but we can still try to help each other out. you are supposed to care!!! bitch

[ughmyreality]

I've just got to get somethings off my chest. So I've been rewatching some of Moral Orel (for fanfic purposes lol) and I actually can't stand Arthur, Clay's dad.

The jump between he's an abuser to an old man isn't going to suddenly make me feel sorry for him. And truthfully, why should Clay let him see Orel? Not to excuse Clay's actions because, as we all know, he doesn't treat Orel good either, but Arthur didn't treat him right. The sudden switch up gives me "Respect your elders" vibes. Just because he's old doesn't change all the awful things he's done.

Even before the physical abuse, Arthur clearly had some animosity towards his son. The argument could be said that this was only because of his wife's over bearing nature towards Clay but if that's the case he need to be pointing his frustrations at her not Clay. He blames Clay for Angela's death but truthfully (and this may get controversial) why was the gun even in a place where Clay could get to it anyway? Angela claims she was under the impression that it wasn't loaded which even if it wasn't what's stopping a young and impressionable Clay from loading it himself? Really Arthur needs to be more concerned with why he had a gun so readily accessible to a 12 year old.

Plus him and trying to convolute Orel's views on religion. I personally believe that it's great to make your own decisions. Just because your family or friends believe one thing doesn't mean you have to. It could take some soul searching before someone is fully confident in what they believe. But at the end of the day, children typically just naturally agree with whatever religion their parents do. They're socialized from a young age and they grow up to not really change these beliefs. That being said I don't know what right Arthur thought he had putting skepticism into Orel's mind. "But that's not what he really said. He just meant don't believe in things unless you have proof. Beside, Orel didn't really know about God anyway." ...be for real. Arthur did this to spite Clay and the concept of religion.

Then, even worse, the future plan if the show wasn't canceled was he would die and give his assets to Orel. Which in itself isn't a bad decision. What I take issue with is that he apparently tries to reconcile with Clay before his death, and only when things don't get along would he pass things down to Orel.

I HATE that. Personally, If I didn't like someone when they were alive I'm not going to be fake and pull a 180 after they die or on the brink of death. It's just insincere. That being said, I fully agree that Clay should have kept being the terrible person he is and not forgive his father. After all the damage Arthur has done and allowed, why is it that now he can randomly be redeemed? "But he's an old man!", "He's sorry", "He wouldn't have reacted that way if it weren't for Clay". I don't care!

At that point, Arthur was the adult in the situation. It lowkey makes me wonder if he even wanted kids at all. Because how do you finally get the child you've been wanting only to turn around and treat him poorly?