{Regular Inspired!AU x NCT} Doyoung
tw: weapons mention, violence mention, n*fw elements, be warned. everything written here is a work of FICTION, it does not in anyway reflect reality, nor do i condone any of the extreme behavior.
♢ introduction ♢
pick mark instead | pick haechan instead | pick yuta instead | pick johnny instead
“i know i have asked a lot of you, and that you picked me to protect you and all ive done is use you to help my own means - but this will be the last time.”
“i choose doyoung”
you say
only to regret it a moment later because maybe you shouldn’t have called him doyoung so easily,,,,,maybe you should have went with mr.kim,,,,,,,
he is the head of a major department for this company
i should be more formal from now on! i mean he looks like he probably hates being spoken to casually
but doyoung doesn’t correct you
instead he slips the notepad he’d used to write down something into the pocket of his lapel
he steps closer to you
and for some reason it seems like the room has gone ice cold
not because you think doyoung is particularly,,,,,,,mean,,,,,but his eyes are so dark they could look black in the weak office lights
he outstretches a hand to help you off the table
and the rest of the members watch intently as you take it, skin warm and shaking against doyoung’s palm
“ill take care of them well”
doyoung says, gaze settling on jaehyun as he continues to hold your hand
you’re too embarrassed to scan the rest of the room
instead you stare down at your shoes
and hear jaehyun confirm
“doyoung might not look like it, but he’s pretty agile and smart. im sure you won’t get hurt~”
taeil comments as he floats past you
the room emptying out
until it’s just you, doyoung and jungwoo
who takes his phone out before letting out a sigh
“i would stay with you as well, but i have to deal with something.”
he says to doyoung who gives a short nod
“go. send a report if you need me.”
jungwoo runs a hand through his hair, throws one glance your way and then turns on his heel
“jungwoo and i work closely together. he keeps me in the loop of the,,,,”
doyoung pauses
“of the extra affairs of jung enterprises.”
you don’t even notice it until you try to answer him, but your lips are quivering
you touch them and doyoung watches
“you’re probably trembling because of everything that’s happened so far. don’t be fearful, it’s a natural response to shock.”
you just open your mouth - but nothing really can come out
what do i say to that? is he trying to comfort me - his tone sounds automatic, even robotic ,,,,, being a genius must make him very careful with his words,,,,
doyoung motions with his hand for you to follow him outside
you go along, thinking that you’ll be driven to some secret hotel or be kept in some warehouse owned by the jungs
but you’re taken to your home and when you get out of the car
doyoung steps out with you
“i,,,,i think ill be ok on my own-”
you start, but doyoung scans the quiet block of your neighborhood, without a second to spare he takes his notepad back out and scribbles something down
muttering to himself the whole time
“three, no four possible entry points - there are mostly residential buildings here with ample spots for stakeouts and ambushes. i classify it as,,,,,most likely dangerous.”
you blink, it’s hard enough to follow along with his train of thought but he speaks so fast that it makes your head spin
“it - it’s not that dangerous really so -”
he clicks his pen closed and ignores you
“best that i stay with you tonight.”
before you can think of a response, let alone register it in your head
doyoung,,,,the kim doyoung,,,,,wants to spend the night in my apartment?!?!?!
doyoung is already heading toward the lobby
you rush to catch up and take the edge of his sleeve in your hand
“um - do-doyoung! i mean mr. kim! i just ,,,, i don’t know ,,, ,what ,,, what the neighbors would think about me having you over for the night and i don’t -”
he stares at you without much of an expression as you try to form a coherent sentence
before cutting into your gibberish
“you’re of an age where you could be bringing me home as your partner. there isn’t anything suspicious about that.”
WHAT?
your mind rattles at the sudden string of words that come out of his mouth
partner???? your partner???? bring home?????
while you’re back in a stage of shock, doyoung proceeds forward
within a matter of seconds he figures out what floor you’re on and the passcode to your door
which you don’t even want to ask how he does, but he tells you the answer anyway
“it’s either your birthday or whichever keypads have the slightest indentations on them.”
he walks the perimeter of your home silently, hands clasped behind your back, dark eyes outlining the walls - the windows - the doors
you’re still silently stunned when he’s done, jotting down whatever it is he’s gathered from his self-tour of your home
before tilting his head toward the hall
“it’s been a long day, you should sleep.”
finally you break out of it - ok ok kim doyoung is standing in my apartment what should i do,,,,,,should i offer him water? should i tell him to make himself comfortable? should i ask more about what the hell kind of situation im in?
doyoung doesn’t waste time waiting for you to answer, he instead shrugs off his blazer
folding it neatly and placing it on your sofa
“if you don’t mind, ill be borrowing your couch for the night.”
you only manage a meek nod and he puts his hands up to undo his tie
“and again, if you don’t mind, im going to get undressed. i don’t much care if you watch, but seeing as though i don’t think you’re that kind of person-”
you throw your own hands over your eyes and mutter that you get it, you get it - you’re going to sleep now
doyoung watches you scurry embarrassingly away and when he hears your door shut
he pulls the notepad out again
in the morning, you nearly forget about doyoung
only to catch a heart attack when you come out after your shower in just your towel
and doyoung is standing at the door, fully dressed, hair slicked back and his eyes completely void of any surprise when he looks at you
“oh, you’re up.”
you scream,,,,,,,,,,,,,,which you apologize for later profusely as you and doyoung wait for a car to pick you up and take you both to work
he puts a hand out as if to say that’s enough and you shut up, berating yourself quietly about how much of an idiot you must look like to him now
but also,,,,,you think it’s a little odd about how calm he is about everything - from spending the night with a stranger, to nearly seeing that strange half naked
i mean it’s not like im such a sight to see,,,,,but still - he didn’t even avert his eyes,,,,
the car pulls up and you’re surprised to see jungwoo is driving
he looks tired - there are bags under his eyes, but otherwise he’s still as intimidatingly handsome as ever
doyoung gets into the passenger seat beside him and the partition is rolled up so all you can hear is their muttering voices
you sigh, resting your head on the window as the streets of seoul roll by, the looming shadow of jung enterprises getting closer and closer
out of curiosity you begin to wonder how doyoung ended up working here,,,,
trading his natural intellect for a life of underground crime
he’d got world famous for being appointed his head position of marketing, but he had been in the news even before that
called a boy genius for graduating college at the same time most other people were just becoming high school freshman
he’d become the south korean champion at chess when he was thirteen
you remembered seeing his face on tv, your parents gushing over how it’d be like to have a child so gifted and so talented
looks like they’d just sell their brain for money
you think, but then reprimand yourself - you’re sure doyoung and everyone else working here had their reasons
when you get to the office, mark and sicheng both ask you sympathetically if you’re ok
johnny chastises doyoung the second he sees him
“kim doyoung, i never took you to be such a dog! sleeping with them on the first night! looks like you’re giving nakamoto a run for his money!”
doyoung doesn’t entertain the comment, but you’re sure the rest of the office sees you nearly turn red
jungwoo throws a sharp look the lawyers way and johnny seems to know better than to provoke
so he turns away and you walk with your head down behind doyoung
“i have a lot to do today and the marketing team has deadlines, be useful and assist anyone in the department who needs it.”
doyoung instructs and you’re happy that he’s given you some kind of assignment
you were worried you’d be forced to sit in a corner with jungwoo’s hawk like stare fixated on you for hours
so you readily agree and leave his office to go ask if anyone needs a hand
the marketing team is made of regular people, unaware of any other business going on other than legitimate projects
you help out making spreadsheets and inputting corrections into documents - everyone treats you like the job you applied for - an intern
and even though it’s not the kindest treatment all the time, you’re content because you don’t get your hands on anything illegal
and plus, the experience is what you wanted for your resume in the first place
not like im writing - hostage of jung enterprises when this is all over in my past employment section
every now and then you think you can sense someone watching you, but you write it off as jungwoo or jaehyun
you don’t guess that it’s doyoung - who keeps detailed notes to himself
jungwoo does notice it, he notices the file doyoung makes in the afternoon and slips between the other paperwork on his desk
the file with your name and the numbers 000127 on it
you spend the next couple of weeks doing just that - intern work
and it’d all feel so normal
if it wasn’t for doyoung staying over at your place every single night
and every time you want to argue that it’s fine, you promise you won’t run away or do anything to jeopardize the jung’s secret
and that doyoung shouldn’t stress himself out living here when he could be in, what you assume is, his million dollar loft somewhere
but doyoung just goes, “shall we set ourselves up together in a hotel somewhere?”
and that thought just seems somehow worse than letting a world renowned genius crash on your sofa
it’s just,,,,,,he seems so out of place ,,,,,,,, with his expensive clothing and his piles of paperwork - which he does keep tidy
and the way he,,,,,,, works in complete silence unless he’s on the phone with jungwoo
he just seems so meticulous and neat,,,,,and you’re a young person who sometimes throws your sweater on the floor and who leaves books on the kitchen table
you notice that these things irk him
doyoung quietly moves your book back to it’s shelf and folds your sweater into the closet
your living room seems more and more spotless as days go by
and you’re not sure,,,,,,,,,why - but you think doyoung needs to have things in order, he needs things to make sense to him
you get home from work with him one evening and you suggest that he watch a movie with you
at first you just wanted to see his reaction, you were sure he had other things to do
but he’d agreed
and when you put it on - you sat uncomfortably far apart and still throughout the whole thing
you’d, like any normal person, had made responses to whatever happened in the movie
when it was a sad scene, you’d sigh - when it was a humorous scene, you’d laugh
doyoung did neither
in fact he showed no reaction at all, aside from opening up that notepad and writing something down
he must always be thinking about work, writing whatever comes to mind even when he should be relaxing
you’d turned off the movie when it ended and awkwardly thanked doyoung for watching it with you
he said he’d “enjoyed it” but you weren’t all that sure
you start picking up on the fact that doyoung doesn’t really have any sort of reaction to anything
he fluctuates only between two expression; stone serious or almost murderous when someone messes something up in his department
even jungwoo shows more emotion than him
you’re copying papers for the marketing team one day when mark comes into the room, he shuts the door
and you open your mouth but he motions for you to be quiet
“huh, what? no, that can’t be right they promised they’d take care of the authorities in that section. what? you’re telling me that our guy got picked up?”
mark makes a pained expression followed by an exasperated sigh
“we have no choice, we’ll have to send someone in. if they took him hostage ,,,,,,,,, doyoung is going to make sure we get him back.”
the look of pain turns almost malicious as mark straightens up
“yes, yes. he’ll be there? ok. ill inform jaehyun and doyoung, see what mr. jung wants us to do.”
you feel uncomfortable for eavesdropping, but the copying room is small - even if you didn’t want to hear, you didn’t much have a choice
mark stuffs his phone back into his pocket, hand on his forehead as if he’s lost in thought
he then looks up at you and puts his hand out
“you’re going to have to come with me.”
you find yourself following mark downstairs
past the offices and past the first floor receptionist, you’re going into what you can only assume is the basement of the building
it’s dark at first, and there’s a door with a touch sensored lock on it
mark presses his palm to it and tries to say that everything is ok to lighten up the terrified look on your face
it doesn’t work
especially when the door opens and you step behind him into a room illuminated by only a red light
the walls decorated in photos of shady looking people, weapons of all sizes lined up in cages, and two sectioned off tables
at one end is jaehyun, feet up on the table - stacks of money spread out in front of him
“jaehyun, we have a problem”
mark starts and jaehyun shifts, getting up he looks at you as if you’ve done something bad
but mark shakes his head, reading his train thought
“no,,,,it’s ,,,,,, it’s got to do with jungwoo.”
doyoung is brought down and briefed on the situation
apparently a deal that was made with some underground thai faction went sour
they were supposed to help jungwoo get into thailand with no problems, of course smuggling across a couple of very illegal and very sought after valuables
but instead of helping, they’d taken him hostage and were demanding the jungs pay a hefty price,,,,,,,,or else
you avert your eyes when mark explains that this can be deadly
but you do curiously take a peek at doyoung
but again
nothing
aren’t they close? not even the prospect of jungwoo being in danger can make him show any sort of reaction?
instead, doyoung adjusts his blazer and crosses his arms over his chest
“so who is going to be sent to retrieve him?”
jaehyun paces back and forth, “jungwoo is too valuable of an asset to lose. my dad will agree with this. i think we should send sicheng and-”
“they took him in thailand right?”
doyoung finally speaks and all eyes in the room turn to him
“send me. ive never done a job like this and the people in thailand won’t know who i am.”
mark shakes his head, “that’s too risky, you were pretty famous before you joined -”
“i was famous in south korea, maybe japan and even america. but no one in thailand cares about me. plus, i can wear a simple disguise.”
jaehyun seems to be considering this, but his lips pull into a thin line
“and what about -”
he jerks his head in your direction and you stiffen
“they’ll come with me. we’ll go undercover to thailand like a couple of an engagement trip. no one will suspect us.”
wait what?
you turn your attention back to doyoung who doesn’t seem to even be thinking about what he’s just implied.
you doing an undercover mission with him? the deal was you’d just be another intern as long as you kept your mouth shut - not working directly for the jung family?
but you can’t bring yourself to argue, you just hope jaehyun can read the look on your face or at least mark
but both of them once again look like they’re actual considering this.
you have to figure out a way to protest this, to get some sense knocked into everyone, to remind them that you’re just a-
“they’re a regular person, it’ll make our undercover operation impossible to unearth.”
if you could, you’d slide down the seat you’re sitting in and refuse to come out until they all agreed that sending you to thailand with doyoung to save jungwoo from a bunch of dangerous goons isn’t the best idea
but jaehyun signs off on it
he motions with his hand for you and doyoung to go off and get ready, while instructing mark to set up plane and hotel arrangements
before you know it, you’re following doyoung to the garage and getting to a car with him
“w-what is going on?”
you finally manage to ask as doyoung puts one hand on the steering wheel and stares straightforward without even tilting his head to acknowledge you
“im sorry to get you tightly wound up in this, but you chose me to protect you. i promise to do just that, but for now - you’ll have to deal with helping me out on my job.”
“i thought your job was head of marketing - i thought you were just updated on these things, not that you’d take part in them!”
your voice shakes as you raise it - but doyoung doesn’t even blink
“that is true, most of the time i simply help out with strategy and figures. but they have jungwoo and im convinced if we send any of the other men, they’ll be found out. this is the safest way for us to get him back.”
you open your mouth, but you catch something flash across doyoung’s face as he speaks about jungwoo
it’s a look of,,,,,,,,,,of failure?
“now, im going to drive you home. get your things ready in an hour.”
he starts the car and you decide you have to drop the subject, there’s no way you’re going to get out of this
great, looks like im now not an intern but an accomplice in something that’s probably not going to look good on my record if we get caught!
doyoung waits in your living room as you try to pack, muttering to yourself that thailand is going to be super hot and you don’t even remember where you packed away your summer clothes
for the first time since he’s been staying here, you see doyoung come into your bedroom
looking around with a hint of annoyance in the twitch of his lip
“what is taking so long?”
“it’s just all of my winter clothes are out, i think my summer stuff is in storage so-”
doyoung turns on his heel before you can finish your sentence
“nevermind that, follow me.”
you do as your told, trying to tell doyoung that you haven’t managed to pack anything yet
but he ignores you, picks your keys up for you and ushers you out the door
he drives downtown, unphased by the questioning look on your face, before pulling up to the mall
he parks, all the while saying absolutely nothing, and makes his way toward the doors
you try to ask where you’re going, but doyoung doesn’t waste his breath
just goes into whatever store he sees fit, pulls you in front of him and toward one of the sales associates
who tries to say her rehearsed greeting but doyoung cuts right in
“we’re going on a trip. it’s a warm place. please choose some clothing for them.”
he hands you off to the associate who looks just as confused and startled as you do
before he takes a seat and pulls out that little black notepad
you don’t even get as much as a squeak in before you’re being corralled into a fitting room with piles on piles of clothing
all of which you don’t think you’d ever be able to afford
but when you pick out a couple of things, doyoung instructs you to just give them to the cashier
before slapping down a gold card and then motioning to one of the duffel bags on display
“that too, and if you’d be kind enough just put them inside that bag.”
the cashier starts off by telling him the price, but doyoung shakes a hand
“it doesn’t matter, just please be quick.”
you stare at the receipt for what must seem like hours
rereading the number in your head and gawking at it
as doyoung drives back to the jung offices and meets mark back in the basement
mark slides over to fake passports, a pair of plane tickets, and a bottle of what looks like bleach
you start thinking about one hundred different reasons as to why you’d need bleach
when doyoung picks it up
“ill go do it before the trip.”
mark nods and you look between them
when doyoung is gone, you look to mark and ask him what the bleach is for
to which you only get a small laugh in reply
“you’ll see.”
it takes a while for doyoung to return, mark stays with you and you chat a bit
when you decide that this might be your chance to ask what you’ve been thinking for a while now
“do,,,do you know why doyoung joined the jungs?”
mark gives you a bit of a half-nod
“you’re wondering why a natural born genius would need to work for what essentially are gangster, right?”
“yeah,,,,i just i remember seeing him all over tv. a chess champion, a mathematician, it just seemed like he was going to use his intelligence for good ,,,,,”
you play with the fake passport, opening it and looking at the photo of you
the fake name and fake address
“well,,,,we all have our reasons for working for mr. jung. i can’t personally talk about doyoungs,,,,,,but sometimes being a kid genius isn’t the best way to grow up.”
mark shrugs and you hear the door open
doyoung is back, but you nearly fall from your seat when you see what he looks like
his thick, black hair always neat and proper has been dyed a solid bleach blonde
the bangs hang in his eyes, unkempt and almost intentionally messy
the striking color brings out the narrow, handsome features of his face and the darkness of his eyes
he was handsome before - you admit that, but now he looks like a character from a manhwa
you can barely pick your jaw up after it dropped, but once again - true to doyoungs style - he acts like this is nothing
he grabs the passport, bids mark a farewell after letting him now he’ll be in touch when you land
and he snaps his fingers, to let you know it’s time to go
im not a dog, don’t treat me like one! you think, still too nervous to really object to anything doyoung says or does out loud
but still you step in line behind him
at the airport is when your real anxieties sink in
these are fake passports, will your face give away the fact that you’re hiding something, how are you and doyoung supposed to act like a couple if he’s never even once shown any kind of emotion related to affection?
the questions make you dizzy and as you get closer to the ticketor you think you might just pass out
she greets you when you two approach, doyoung handing her the passports casually and placing your duffel bag on the scale beside her
“ah, a thailand trip - so nice to get out of this cold weather~”
she says and you can’t think of an answer, but you should because doyoung hasn’t been the best at making normal conversation -
but then doyoung’s poker face breaks and he smiles at her
actually,,,,,,,,,,,,,smiles
“yes, me and my fiancee can’t wait to get there!”
fiancee?
she sheepishly smiles back, tells you two to enjoy the weather, and hands back the passport
no qualms, no problems, no questions
and doyoung’s own acting,,,,,,,leaves you more stunned than anyone else
the flight there is short and you get nestled into the hotel mark booked without any slip-ups
everything is going smoothly
the only thing out of whack is doyoung,,,,,,,,,,who has not stopped smiling at flight attendants and hotel concierge
and who’d even made a dad joke with another couple on the plane over
who is this person? did the bleach rearrange his brain?
you think, before scolding yourself - no he’s just pretending to be normal, this is part of the undercover ploy
once alone in the room, doyoung opens the duffel bag and dumps your clothing onto the bed - beneath it are a couple of tech devices and doyoung gets to work on setting them up
taking his phone out to call jaehyun and let him know that you two have arrived safely
you start folding the clothes, remembering that doyoung has a bit of a quirk with messes
and even though you don’t want to listen to what they say, once again, you can’t really help it
“we’re here. everything is set up. do you know where they’ll be?”
jaehyun’s voice comes over the phone
“according to intel the same group that has jungwoo operates out of the hotel’s casino. you should be able to get a view on them when you go there tonight. ill send over photos of who to look out for.”
you places the clothes neatly into one of the empty drawers and notice how doyoung keeps tapping his finger against his knee
“i think we’ll keep our distance for now, but it’ll be good for me to know their faces. has their been any news on jungwoo?”
it’s silent for a moment and the whole room feels still
“,,,,,,,they won’t release any information on him so we think he might be in serious trouble.”
you bite back your lip, you don’t know much about jungwoo personally but it still hurts to think of what could be happening to him right now
doyoung doesn’t ask anything else, he just tells jaehyun that he’ll keep him posted and hangs up
you finish with unpacking and sit on the bed - doyoung gets up and checks the time
“the casino opens for business at around nine, we should get ready and have dinner before then.”
the hotel you’re staying at is grand, it’s more like a resort than anything else and as you and doyoung walk through it
you’re distracted trying to get a glimpse of everything
doyoung doesn’t really take particular care in any of that, he fiddles with his cuff link and then stops you before going into the casino
he offers his arm and you stare at it
“we have to give off the appearance that we are engaged, please hold onto me.”
you tremble a bit when you do as your told, but doyoung is calm and unaffected
the casino is bustling, even though it’s just opened and doyoung scans the room for any familiar faces
he seemingly spots a group of men clustered around the in-house bar and smoothly leads you over too
he doesn’t get too close - maybe five or six seats away and he orders a drink
turning to you, you notice that some of his hair has gone out of place so you reach up to fix it
doyoung puts a hand casually on your waist
and you try hard not to peek over his shoulder to see if the group of men are watching you
“don’t look that way, it’ll make us seem suspicious.”
you nod and thank the bartender when he slides a glass over to you
doyoung doesn’t touch it, instead he nudges it toward you, but you’re so nervous you think alcohol will only make it worse
“takes small sips and talk to me.”
doyoung instructs and you hold the glass as you try to think of something to say
“um,,,,did it hurt?”
“what?”
you motion to his hair and he shakes his head
“no.”
“do you like how it looks?”
“i don’t particularly care.”
yeah, great conversation.
you look around and watch all of the other people or a bit, bringing the glass to your lips and only sipping the smallest amount
everyone else looks so relaxed
they’re here on fun trips with family or friends, unaware of anything bad in their lives
you think of jungwoo for a split second - when you feel doyoung grab a hold of your wrist
“one of them is coming over, be natural.”
you blink, putting the drink down before a man finds his way over to you and doyoung
“excuse me, but i couldn’t help but overhear - are you two speaking in korean?”
doyoung plasters that smile on his face, oddly charming in its own way
“why yes, we’re here for vacation. an engagement gift from my parents.”
the man gives a slightly flustered look
“so young you two and already engaged?”
doyoung takes your hand and brings it up to his lips, kissing the skin gently
you smile too, but you can feel your pulse quicken
“we may be young, but i know this person is the love of my life.”
doyoung looks over at you, dark cold brown eyes suddenly full of warmth and adoration
“i don’t want anyone else getting their hands on them.”
the man gives a jolly laugh, you note that he’s stocky - wearing multiple golden rings on one hand and his friends from his group watch your interactions like a hawk
“well i can’t just say my goodbyes without giving my congratulations - “
he waves down the bartender and tells him that whatever you and doyoung put on the tab tonight will be on him
he gives doyoung a hard pat on the shoulder
“enjoy your youth, and happy marriage to the both of you!”
he exclaims, throwing a wink your way and picking your hand up to shake before returning to his circle
you swallow a small lump in your throat and doyoung turns to you
“how kind of him!”
but his eyes have gone dark again
“let’s go play a couple of games of cards in case they decide to tail us.”
he adds in a lower voice, leading you to a table where a game of blackjack is about to commence
you and doyoung sort of just mingle around, pretending to chat like a regular couple, partaking in games here and there
before doyoung signals that it’s time to go
when you get back to the hotel room, doyoung rushes to lock the door and shut the windows
he switches on the bathroom light and immediately contacts jaehyun
“how was it?”
“slightly off-putting, one of the men spoke to us at the casino. do you think that’s cause for alarm?”
jaehyun says something and you can’t hear it because doyoung shuts the door
you sit back down on the bed and sigh - everything is so weird, everything feels so on edge
you’re being tugged between lying and pretending to being completely ignored by doyoung and it just
it messes with you, even though you really wish it wouldn’t
maybe half an hour later doyoung opens the door and starts quietly moving around the room, undoing his tie and switching on the desk lamp
pulling out that small black book
you look down at your hands, thinking about the kiss doyoung placed on them - thinking about doyoungs hand in yours
and then you narrow your eyes
“do,,,doyoung -”
you start and you hear his pen stop moving
“if we’re supposed to be,,,,engaged,,,,,,,,,why don’t we have rings on?”
doyoung stands up so fast you think it shakes the room -
“shit”
he curses and your eyes widen - the first change in tone you’ve heard from him in a while
“did the man at the casino look at your hand?”
“y-yes he shook it when he was leaving.”
doyoung puts a hand on his forehead
“that’s not good. our cover might already be blown, ill have to arrange to fix that.”
and with that he’s putting his tie back on, and in a matter of minutes he’s gone
and you’re alone ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, you lay back against the bed
tired and a little bit frightened, since this whole mess started you’d never been left alone, doyoung was always somewhere near
this was the first time he’d gone off without you
then again, he was probably sure you wouldn’t run off. you where in another country, had no money, and where at his whim.
you curl up into a small ball, the fogginess of the hard day taking over your mind
why did this happen to me? i just wanted to live a regular life,,,,,,,,,,
you wake up groggy, wincing at the sudden sunlight that hits your face
looks like you’d fallen asleep and doyoung had returned, opening the windows in the meantime
and when you roll over you don’t see him anywhere
only a box sitting on the table side drawer with a note beneath it
‘wear it immediately’
it says and you open the box, stopping mid yawn to see a beautiful silver band
you stare at it,,,,,,,,,,,touching it and then recoiling your hand
he must have got these when he left last night, but where is he now?
you put the box down carefully and roam around the spacious room - but no sign of doyoung is to be seen
you look at the desk where he’d last been and the notebook is there
the one he always jots notes down as well as a file folder
it’s simple, but it has a label on it and you’re surprised to read your own name across it beside the number 000127
doyoung isn’t around so you carefully open it, wondering if there’s something inside about this secret undercover operation
but it’s not
it’s just
pages and pages of notes
you gasp softly, because the notes are all about you
from what foods doyoung has noticed you like, to your habits in the office
what is this? some kind of log about me?
you don’t understand, is jaehyun asking doyoung to keep such close tabs on me? i really didn’t think it was that serious?
you put the file down and your eyes hover over the small notebook
“don’t tell me -”
you reach out, but can’t bring yourself to touch it
and just in the nick of time you hear the sound of the soft beep of the hotel room unlocking
and you only manage to hurry back to the bed with a second
doyoung comes in,,,,,,,,,,,,,dressed in beige slacks and a colorful short-sleeve shirt
he’s got sandals on and sunglasses perched on the top of his head
he looks like the epitome of resort chic
and the exact opposite of prim, proper, always business ready doyoung back at the jung offices
the first thing he does is look at the box beside you and your hand
“why isn’t your ring on?”
you shakily open it and slip on the accessory quickly
doyoung just gives an affirmative nod and doubles around the bed to the windows
“i think for the next couple of days we’re going to be tailed,,,,,,,,,,so we need to act as normal as we can.”
“is there any news about jungwoo?”
doyoung keeps looking out the window, hands in his pockets, before he turns around
“they sent photos to jaehyun. he’s alive, but they’re getting impatient.”
he opens one of the drawers and pulls out your clothes - he drops them on the bed and motions to the shower
“when you’re finished, we’ll have breakfast.”
the following three days are full of what seems like normal resort like activities
you and doyoung have meals at the restaurants on the hotels premise
sunbathe by the pool and spend time near the ocean
doyoung even insists on taking you to the on-sight souvenir shop and throws out the fake names of your friends back home to buy little trinkets for
all the while initiating casual skinship and dropping pet names that nearly make you fluster every time
he makes sure that you two come off as any other couple staying at the resort - but you can tell he’s also constantly aware of who is around you
one evening he decides to go back to the casino, in hopes of making one last grand gesture of you and his “normal couples vacation” right in front of the suspected faction members
the same group of men is there as they’d been on the first day and doyoung gives a small greeting to the man who spoke to you back then
he comes over and asks how your vacation is going
it all seems wonderful until he asks
“and so, you speak so highly of your partner - what is it that made you fall in love with them?”
he asks doyoung, and you tense
how is he going to answer this, we barely even know one and other?
but doyoung doesn’t falter, not even a bit
he pulls you close by the waist
“why, where do i even start? i met them at this coffee shop - they’re so picky they spent ten minutes picking out a dessert. cutely talking to themselves. i was mesmerized with them, and the more we went on dates the more i learned about how deeply empathetic and hardworking they are. what could i want more, than someone who understands my emotions. who works with me. who loves everything about me and who i trust with my life.”
doyoung looks deeply into your eyes as he recites a bunch of your tiny quirks, all the little details about you
and if you hadn’t known better, you would believe that he was looking at someone he truly felt that strongly for
“i adore them, i realized i would die for them if i had to so - i wanted to make the promise of my life.”
doyoung picks your hand up, flashes the ring and then leans in - kisses you
really, really kisses you
and looks back at the man
who for a second twitches between a frown and a smile, before settling on a grin and nodding
he looks totally convinced!
you think and he says something along the lines of how beautiful it is to see young people in love
with that he turns back and you feel as if the wind has been knocked straight out of you
who knew doyoung even had a grasp on such a range of emotions? is this the same person who watched a movie with you absolutely silently - the same person who didn’t react when being told his closest associate was being held hostage?!?!?!
after another twenty minutes of hanging around, doyoung puts a hand on the small of your back and leads you out
as you two are hurrying back to the room he whispers against your ear
“they’re going to keep watching us, but i think they’re less suspicious now. there’s only one last thing we have to do and im,,,,,”
he pauses
“what, what is it?”
“it might be uncomfortable and i feel like an animal asking you to bear with it, but we have to put on this one last show,,,”
he casts his eyes downward and it takes a moment for you to register what he means
you put your fingers up to your mouth and can’t stand the increase of your heartbeat and the heat that creeps up your neck
“you mean,,,”
“yes - just a little bit, so they’ll believe we’re really together.”
you take in a deep breath, as you two get closer to your suite doyoung stops and ducks you two into a corner between two of the hotel buildings
you feel your back up against the wall and you look up to see doyoung has covered you almost completely with his frame
“i know i have asked a lot of you, and that you picked me to protect you and all ive done is use you to help my own means - but this will be the last time -”
you don’t let him finish, you know that this is for show and that in the long run it will help doyoung get to jungwoo
so you put your hands around his neck and tug him in close
you keep thinking of what he said back in the casino
“i adore them, i realized i would die for them”
those are such romantic, heartfelt words and you would be beyond happy to hear them from someone
you press your lips to doyoungs, letting yourself fall into this fantasy
that you’re not kissing someone who is just pretending to love you, that you’re kissing someone who does
and you can’t tell what doyoung is feeling or thinking
but he’s absolutely on the verge of falling apart
he holds you, close and hungry, because the truth is doyoung has never had the chance to feel so alive
he was born a genius, grew up being paraded around for his talents and hailed by adults for his intellectual abilities
everyone who ever showed interest in him
showed interest in his brain, how he thinks, how fast he can solve a problem
no one had ever allowed him to express anything above rational, accurate answers
he’d never had the door opened to relationships with others, from freindships to romance
so this overwhelming feeling of your body pressed against his - it drives him crazy
and he can tell you’re still shaking, still worried about everything he’s had to put you through
but you’re being strong and brave by helping him out, even when you have nothing to gain
so he apologizes to you in his mind, a thousand times over
as his hands take hold of your hips and he brings you flush up against him
small hums against your mouth, quick parted breathes as he kisses you with a passion that’s been locked away for most of his life
neither of you can control your bodies natural reaction, the low groan of his when you trail your lips down his neck
his hand coming down to grasp your thigh, hitch it around his waist as you moan into another kiss
his name comes out of your mouth and doyoung thinks this is what its like to see stars
by this point, it should be enough to convince anyone that what’s going on between you two is real
and that’s partially because in the moment it is - it really is
and when doyoung finally breaks away from you, his mind lashing out on him
you’re using them! how could you do that?!
you stare at him because for the first time he’s the one that is shaking, eyes big like a doe
you feel as if you should ask him if he’s ok, but there’s not much to say after what just happened
just that you and doyoung need to get back to your room and hope that this makes everything easier in the morning
which it does, from the operations stand point of view
jaehyun calls doyoung with information about where he could possibly find jungwoo
and when doyoung scans the perimeters outside your room there’s no suspicious people
no feeling of being watched
you managed to convince them that you and doyoung are nothing but two young people in love
but on the other hand,,,,,,,,,,all you’ve done is make everything more confusing between you both
doyoung is fixing his watch, tinkering with some sort of recording device that he’s built into it
when you ask
“what you said yesterday, about all the reasons you fell in love with me,,,,,,,,,were they all things you got from my file?”
he turns to you, putting down the watch
“how do you know about the file?”
“you left it on the desk and i happened,,,,,,,to read it.”
instead of being angry, or telling you with some sort of deadpan arrogance that you shouldn’t touch his stuff
doyoung just tells you that yes, he did just list off habits he’d recorded in the file and then asks why you seem to want to know
“why,,,,,why did you write all those observations down about me.”
you pull your knees up to your chin as you sit on the bed
you don’t look him in the eyes, but you don’t feel like you’re the one in the vulnerable position here
“because you’re the first person ive been close to who is seemingly,,,,,,,,regular.”
“but,,,,,you work with regular people. the people who work in marketing with you aren’t involved with the jungs.”
“that’s true, but they are not ,,,,,,,,, they are not interesting. you are a regular person, who has an emotional and physical stake in your relationship with me- well,,,,,,,with everyone who works for mr. jung.”
patiently you wait for some other explanation
there has to be more than just the fact that you’re a normal person - normal enough to be studied like some kind of test subject
but doyoung says nothing more on the matter
and you can’t pinpoint what about that makes you feel so ill
“do you think ,,,,,, what you said about me ,,,, are those things someone could actually fall in love with?”
the questions from you are all real, you just want to know - how someone like doyoung could take what he wrote down about you and put it so elegantly
make you and everyone in the room believe that he could feel these things he’d never shown any hint of having
but to him, the questions are like poisoned darts sinking deeper and deeper into a wall he’s put up since he was a child
and suddenly he’s on the bed too, coming closer to you, pulling you up toward him
“i don’t think you understand how very lucky you are.”
“doyoung what-”
“the fact that you have all of these things about you,,,,,all of these unique quirks different to all normal people, that you can feel so strongly, react so vibrantly - how i wish i could understand all of that.”
you were scared at first, but now you just feel pity - what mark had said about doyoung growing up as a child genius, was that the reason he was so ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, closed off?
“im sorry that you weren’t allowed to be normal.”
you start and doyoung’s eyes go big again
“i don’t know what it’s like to grow up with all that responsibility on your shoulders - to have the world look at you as something other than a child with hopes and dreams. but i just,,,,,,,i just think that there’s more to you.”
he lets you go and sinks a little bit
his shoulders sag and it’s as if he’s gone from the strong, stoic man he’s been around you this whole time
to nothing more than wilted flower
“sometimes i hate that i was born with this gift, that i look at things logically, that i can never act on my emotions like all other humans do.”
“but you do.”
he looks up, his hair is in his face and he looks a little unkept
“i know we were just pretending in front of all of those people - but even if it was fake, for you to take notice of me like that and to say things that are so full of raw emotion - you have it in you doyoung,,,,,,,,,you can really love someone-”
your voice is cut off by the sound of the phone ringing
doyoung picks it up and he reverts back to his usual self
eyes dark and serious, shoulder straight
when the call is over he waits a moment before telling you
“they now where jungwoo is.”
you tell doyoung that you must go with him, you’ve gone along with him for this whole trip, he can’t just leave you behind now
doyoung explains that this is the dangerous part - the part where someone can get killed
but you shake your head, “i didn’t like it when you left me alone in that hotel room the first time. im not letting you do it again.”
doyoung racks his brain for some kind of response, all the logical ones point to arguing against you
forcing you to stay behind
but somehow you end up by his side, outside of what looks like a shed near the back of the casino
at first, you can’t believe that they’d hide a hostage so close to a hotel full of bustling people
but doyoung says they’re not, they’re hiding him underneath that shed - probably even underneath the casino
you wince, thinking about jungwoo tied up and starved in some murky basement
at least the jungs were kind enough not to do that to me,,,,although am i hostage?
you shake the thought out of your head as doyoung comes close to the shed - picking apart the lock faster than you can blink
the inside looks absolutely normal
there’s equipment inside for the casino tables and stacks of poker chips, nothing out of the ordinary
but doyoung is observational and catches on to the one creaking plank beneath your feet
he pushes back his bangs, and then grips something hidden in the belt of his jeans
you see it, a silver handgun, and you pray that there won’t be any use for it
as quietly as he can manage, he pulls the plank up and reveals a secret door
it’s narrow, you can’t imagine that stocky man from the casino slipping trough, but doyoung has no trouble
and as you follow behind him, you’re greeted with a completely new room under the floorboards
the fluorescent light in it is blinding and it looks like a hospital ward more than anything else
there are a couple of cots set up and on one of them is the familiar figure of jungwoo
he’s unconscious, but you can see the small rise of his chest
you want to gasp, tears stinging at the corner of your eyes, but you don’t want to make any noise
and doyoung is cautious before approaching the body
as you and doyoung work on getting the cuffs off of jungwoo’s arms and feet, you hear a noise
you are about to warn doyoung, but it’s too late
and before you know it three people have dropped down from the open floor
and there are three guns pointed blankly at you and doyoung
you freeze, the blood in your body goes cold, and you can feel jungwoo waking up only slightly
moving gingerly against his cuffs
doyoung is standing beside his head, his fingers are still snared between the cuffs, but to your surprise they’re loose enough that you think jungwoo could slip his hands through
but you’re distracted by one of the men suddenly making a statement
“ah,,,,,aren’t you the young couple the boss talked to in the casino?”
doyoung doesn’t answer and you keep as quiet as a mouse
“what, no conversation for me? that’s fine, the boss will get here soon and you can answer to him -”
doyoung shifts a bit and shakes his head, putting on that fake smile
“oh really? i’d love to speak with him.”
you try to hide your expression of confusion, but then you see it
doyoung twists his hips just enough out of view that it covers jungwoo’s upper half
you take a risk and move from jungwoo’s legs up toward doyoung
you stand right at his side, shielding more of jungwoo from view
as you pretend to cower at his side
“honey,,,,please - tell them we don’t mean any trouble”
one of the men cocks his gun and points it at you
doyoung tenses, you feel it as his arms flex where you’re holding him
but he plays along
“it’s ok baby, the boss will get here and sort it all out.”
you barely hear it, but in a moment you sense doyoung let out a small breath
jungwoo slips his hands from the cuffs and snatches the gun from doyoung’s side
in a matter of seconds he yells for you and doyoung to duck
and when you down, opens three clean shots out onto the men
they all fall, guns clattering to the ground and you turn to help jungwoo finish undoing the cuffs on his feet
doyoung helps as well
and jungwoo is a little bit woozy on his feet - but enough for him to make it past those men with you and doyoung
and up toward the open hatch
you think they must all be dead
jungwoo’s marksmen shooting was spot on - but as you run past their still bodies
someone’s hand shoots out and you turn, just in time for him to get a hold on the gun
and point it up - at you
you close your eyes, ready for impact, ready to take this shot - but it doesn’t happen
instead, you feel doyoung’s arms wrap around you
the bullet brushes into his shoulder and lodges there
and the blood spills down his arm
you freeze, but doyoung clenches his teeth and urges you to get out after jungwoo
who pulls you and doyoung up
you only have maybe five minutes before you’re sure more goons will come running, so you three book it out of there
you must look absolutely insane to passerby’s
but the adrenline gets you all out of there and to your shock, just as you all barrell out of the hotels gates
a car pulls up, sleek and red
the window rolls down and another person pokes his head out
he grins, pearly white
“im ten. jaehyun told me to get you all.”
he tilts his head and looks at doyoung’s bleeding shoulder
“try not to get too much of that on my leather seats.”
jungwoo flings open the car door and all of you pile into the back
you immediately turn to doyoung and press your hand over his where the bullet is
“are you ok? does it hurt badly?”
doyoung’s eyes slowly begin to glaze over and he drops his head into the crook of your neck
you panic, begging this ten person to get you to a doctor
he waves off your concern, “a shoulder injury isn’t lethal!”
you want to snipe at him, but jungwoo puts a hand on your shoulder
“he’ll be ok”
but then he sort of stammers over his own words
“i just,,,i never thought he’d jump in front of a bullet to save anyone.”
ten pulls up to a condominium where doyoung is treated by a doctor and jungwoo is given his first hot meal in a week
you sit, dazed and confused by everything that’s happened, before ten joins you
“i hear you got tangled up with the jungs, how’s that going for you?”
you think he must be joking and when he chuckles you realize he is
“still, you must be one brave person to accompany the guys who work for him on such a job. are you maybe,,,,”
he leans in close to you
“in a special relationship with one of them?”
you refuse the thought the instant he comes out of ten’s mouth, but he just thinks that’s even more hilarious and continues to prod
“so which one, doyoung or jungwoo? which one is it?”
he looks down at the ring on your finger and the sly grin only grows wider
“woah, isn’t doyoung wearing the same one?”
you want to explain to him that this is a misunderstanding
but the shadow of someone towers over ten and you both look up to see that it’s doyoung
his sleeve has been cut off and his arm is bandaged, dry blood sticking to it
you get up, asking in the same breath one hundred questions till he just says
“im ok, how are you?”
ten looks between you two and excuses himself, says he should let lovers be alone
you grind your teeth, but your more important focus is doyoung
jungwoo is right, why did he jump in front of a bullet that was heading right for you?
doyoung seems to know that’s what you’re thinking
so he sits you down and tries to put together a coherent reason
but the thing is
he really can’t think of one,,,,,,or at least he can’t think of one that sounds like an excuse for why he knows he really did it
“you asked me,,,back in the hotel room if the things i observed about you are things that someone could actually fall in love with.”
“yes, but what-”
“i think,,,”
he starts and stops himself, because this is all new - this is all different for him
he needs time
“i think,,,,,,those things about you - they’re very much lovable and very much worth protecting which is why,,,,,,”
he wants to bring up his hand to run through his hair, but the pain from his wound makes him wince
you come closer, touching him gently and just that sends a shock wave through his body
unfamiliar, but not unwelcome
“which is why i took that bullet. i couldn’t bare the thought of you losing any of those habits, of losing you.”
this sounds like a confession of feelings, but you can never be sure with him
so you decide that the best way to know is to be straightforward, to be logical just like he always is
“does that mean,,,,,,,,,,you like me?”
doyoung’s eyes flash for a moment, but he tilts his head
“all of my reasoning points to that answer. yes. i do like you.”
you resist the urge to smile a little
“oh,,,,,,,,well”
“do you like me too?”
coming from him, you can’t believe it sounds so childishly cute and innocent
“i will admit, the whole keeping a file on me thing was a little weird but im going to assume you were just trying to understand me - right?”
doyoung plays with his fingers and looks shamefully down
“yes,,,i just i have never really-”
“shhh shhh,,,,,,,what im saying is yes doyoung i like you too. in a weird way, this whole trip - this experience with you has made me understand that deep down you’re not some emotionless person. you’re a person who feels a lot and just has never had the chance to express it.”
he looks stunned - and you’re proud to say that you’ve stumped one of the smartest man in all of south korea
but on the other hand none of that matters
what matters is that you want to be a person who will help doyoung discover this side of himself
because it’s been locked away, stunted from growing since he was a child
doyoung stands up and you follow him as he leads you into the room where he’d been treated
he closes the door and you stare at him, blonde hair a mess, clothes a mess, blood on his jeans and on his knuckles
nothing like the doyoung you met for the first time back at jung enterprises
he comes closer, you bite back your lip but let him places his hands back on your hips
“since we both like each other, can i re-do the kiss from before?”
he breathes against your neck
you close your eyes, nod and feel doyoung unleash what he’s been holding back for so long
after all of that, jaehyun contacts doyoung and tells him that the trip back is all set up
it’s on the plane back to seoul where you finally ask doyoung what’s been on your mind
“why did you join the jungs?”
“what better job is there for someone whose been conditioned to be emotionless than illegal work?”
you agree, but now he’s not the same person as before - does that mean he wants to continue working for them?
he looks to the side, where jungwoo is fast asleep
the superficial scars are small on his face, but he’s worn out and still malnourished from the week of starvation
“i don’t think i can leave this job right now, will that make it hard for you to be with me?”
you touch the ring that you’re still wearing, doyoung is still wearing it too
“i just think you could use your mind for better things - for medical discoveries or helping others ,,,,, it’s a shame you have to use it working for people like that.”
he leans in, and you’re shocked when doyoung places a fluttering kiss to your lips
“you make me want to be a better person and i want to do all of those great things you believe im capable of, but it’ll take time - will you be there by my side?”
you think that if you can survive an undercover rescue operation for the jung family, you can stand by doyoung’s side through anything
that being said you’re not sure how the rest of the office is going to take a romantic relationship between you and him
but when you get back home - everyone is crowded around in your tiny apartment
everyone from jaehyun to taeyong to taeil
and when you and doyoung come in holding hands
mark nearly faints and jungwoo goes
“yeah i know, i can’t believe it either.”
let’s just say it takes some getting used to, but it’s worth it because each day doyoung becomes more and more his true self
and even jungwoo picks up on a smiling habit
and maybe not right now, but in the future you know he’s destined for better things and you’ll be there to help him see those goals through
1K notes
·
View notes
anyway i was sad so i wrote more.
bcs/young pope au part funf: this time there’s mike
Cardinal Voiello was very unhappy.
He had overplayed his hand with Ester, and now he’d lost control of Valente. He knew this, but couldn’t seem to find a way to get them back in hand. Now that the pope had revealed his knowledge of Voiello’s plan to have Esther embroil him in a scandal, Voiello had been forced to give his plan up entirely - and what was more, Valente reveled in it. When Voiello had cornered him this morning, demanding to know what the pope had been doing with the loud American lawyer on the roof of the Basilica last night, Valente had only replied, “talking, your eminence. The holy father enjoys talking with the American lawyer very much.” And then he’d smirked. Smirked. At him.
The humiliation only continued in his morning audience. After he dutifully fetched the pope his coffee, the pope made the American canonist, that Ms. Wexler, read out loud every single provision in the Code of Canon Law relevant to the ouster of a cardinal from both ecclesiastical office and from the curia. She read every line in her flat voice, then rounded it out with a recitation of Canons 331 through 335: the Roman Pontiff.
“The Roman Pontiff obtains full and supreme power in the Church by his acceptance of legitimate election…” she droned, all while Voiello ground his teeth. He wanted to snap that he hardly needed reminding about the basic tenets of the canon law, but wasn’t given the chance. As soon as Ms. Wexler’s voice faded, the pope had snapped, “you can go. Both of you.” So this was just the opening act, and Voiello was left to twist in the wind another day, wondering whether he’d be pulled back into the fold, or set adrift.
The only saving grace was that the other American lawyer - the loud one - had not been in attendance at this little show. When Voiello had caught up to Ms. Wexler’s long strides in the corridor, he’d put on the best mask of friendliness he could muster, and asked where her assistant had been, since he was always such a help to her.
“His holiness - asked that I come myself,” she said, her eyes downcast. And that was another blessing - her meeting with Sofia yesterday had completely unmoored her. And if Sofia did what she was told, he’d be rid of both American lawyers before the week was out, and replace them with proper canonists, ones who had a background in the priesthood. Yes, perhaps all this could be salvaged after all.
“And Father Amatucci - where is he?” Ms. Wexler asked.
“Ah, I fear he has come down with a stomach illness,” Voiello said. “It is very close quarters here, particularly with all the cardinals packed into the Casa Santa Marta for the election, and then awaiting his holiness’s address. Naturally we are all susceptible. I believe Don Tommaso is also ill - no confessions can be taken this morning, unfortunately.”
“I hope they both feel better,” Ms. Wexler said. “Excuse me.” And she stepped quickly away, her heels clacking on the polished floor. And as he watched her go, Voiello said a prayer, begging the Lord to let Sofia succeed where Ester had failed.
Perhaps, he thought, his failure was a matter of beauty. Sofia was very beautiful. He knew this because she told him so. They said that Ester was beautiful as well, but apparently not beautiful enough for the pope. They also said the pope was beautiful, although Voiello was sure he’d seen better days. Perhaps Kim Wexler was beautiful - Sofia certainly seemed much more eager to complete her assignment once she’d seen Ms. Wexler face to face.
Cardinal Voiello was not beautiful, and he knew it. He never had been beautiful. He’d always been squat and lumpish, easily winded and jowly, with squinting eyes and a turtle’s mouth. He’d always had that mole on his cheek, much more prominent when he’d been a child, and it had been like a target on his face for those who wanted to needle him about his doughy face and body. Perhaps all this was the hand of God, smoothing his path into the seminary - he’d never known how it felt to be wanted, and would never miss it. But it gave him a curious blind spot in that he could not understand what others considered beautiful. Certainly he felt that sunsets were beautiful, as was the ocean, and when Napoli scored against Roma. But as far as human beings were concerned, the sight of Sofia moved him no more than did the sight of Sister Bice. He’d told Sister Mary that she was beautiful twice, but she seemed to see through what he now realized were the forced repetitions of a bad liar. The only human thing he could think of that he considered beautiful was the plump cunt of the Venus of Willendorf, and that was made of stone.
He rested his hands on the swell of his belly, and turned to walk to his apartment. It was nearly time. He nodded to the Swiss Guard flanking the path, thinking vaguely of how fitting this was. He considered praying, but didn’t. He missed Amatucci’s quiet, reassuring presence, but it was probably better not to have his shadow behind him today.
He didn’t have much more time, that was certain. Perhaps the holy father could afford to dither, to cat-and-mouse him in order to drive him crazy, but Voiello could not afford to play. Now that Ester hadn’t worked, now that he could still feel the sole of that damned embroidered shoe on his shoulder, forcing his head down - he had to strike an even more decisive blow, and quickly, or else it would all get away from him.
Not my job. It isn’t the job I want to save. It’s the Church. The Church itself.
Why he had to keep reminding himself of that was something he tried not to think about too hard.
When he entered the apartment, he had to unlock the door, but he knew his guest would be there already. He knew, because he was seven minutes late, and his guest was always on time. The air in his apartment had a sense of being subtly displaced. He tried to breath in a steadying column of air, and arrange his face to look serene. He closed and carefully locked the door, then began his search to see where in the house his guest had settled. It didn’t take long - the clack of a billiard ball sounded before he took three steps in. Kind of him, Voiello thought, not to surprise him too badly. They were both getting on in years.
He stepped into the billiard room to find his guest standing behind the table, idly rolling one ball into another, and watching the doorframe.
“Michael,” Voiello said, “how good it is to see you after all this time.”
“It has been a long time, Eminence,” said Michael, “and I gotta say, this place hasn’t changed at all.”
“You’d be surprised,” said Voiello.
Once they were settled across the coffee table with espresso, Voiello was struck with sudden reluctance.
“I understand you have a grandchild now,” he said. “Please accept my warmest congratulations.”
“Yeah,” Michael said. “Five years old. Prettiest thing you ever saw.” He fished a photo out of his wallet that had gone limp at the corners. An unremarkable blond child smiled out from it, but Voiello made a show of admiration. “She’s just lovely. Your son must be so proud.”
“Yeah. He’s dead.”
“What?” Voiello said. Amatucci hadn’t told him this. He wondered how he could have missed it.
“About six months back,” Michael said.
“I’m so very sorry for your loss. If I’d known-”
Michael shrugged. Voiello had never known him to be one for displays of emotion. “It’s good to get away, Eminence,” he said, “but why don’t you tell me exactly why you sent for me.”
Voiello sighed and put down his demitasse cup. “I’m certain you are aware that we have a new pope,” he said.
“Yeah. I followed the conclave news. Pretty young for a pope.”
“That is just the trouble.”
Michael’s shoulders straightened with sudden interest. “You didn’t vote for him?”
“Oh no. I voted for him. But… I did not vote for what we received.”
“Hm,” Michael grunted. “Seems to me you get what you pay for.”
“In some circumstances, yes, that is the case,” said Voiello. “But in circumstances when one has been defrauded, isn’t it only fair to request a refund?”
Michael didn't say anything for a minute. “Why don’t you tell me what it is you want me to do.”
“I want you to resume your position as special firearms instruction for the Pontifical Swiss Guard,” Voiello said. “I’ve already received permission for you to take up the position - it’s been too long since the guard has had a truly intensive training.”
Michael was shaking his head. “Why me? I’m used up. There’s plenty of military trainers younger, sharper-”
“No,” Voiello said. “You were the best in 1981, when we first started automatic weapons training, and you’re the best still.”
Michael was silent, and stared into his cup.
“Michael,” Voiello said gently. “Does it still hurt you to be here? After all this time?”
“You know that old dreams die hard,” Michael said.
Voiello sighed, and in it was not a little genuine regret. “You were the only one who made me feel at home during my first year at the Vatican. I still wish that I could have done something for you.”
“No,” Michael said. “It wasn’t gonna happen. I was to old. And I’m not Swiss.”
“But you helped us to protect the pope,” Voiello said. “Isn’t that something great?”
“It sure is something.”
“And anyway, I never thought the uniform would have suited you.”
Michael cracked a smile at this. “And i never thought the clown suits they make you cardinals wear ever suited you. But now look at you - you’re a real politician.”
“And you are-”
“An old soldier, an ex cop. Put out to pasture.”
“No,” Voiello said, and reached across the coffee table to take Michael’s hand. “On active duty.”
Michael stared hard at Voiello, but didn’t remove his hand. “I think you had better tell me just exactly what you want me to do, right now. If it’s not out of your mouth in the next sentence, I’m out the door.”
Voiello’s heart stopped at the words. He couldn’t know, he told himself, he couldn’t know that it’s how his holiness spoke to me. He almost called the entire thing off right there, but then it came again - the weight of that shoe on his shoulder, and he hardened his heart, and steeled his jaw.
“I want - I need you to assassinate the pope.”
Michael took back his hand and sat back on the sofa. “No,” he said.
Voiello shook his head. “If I could express to you how important-”
“Not until I understand why,” Michael said, and Voiello let out a harsh, relieved breath.
“You must understand,” Voiello said, “we elected him because we thought he would be a compromise between the liberal and conservative factions within the curia. But he’s revealed himself to be so reactionary - he’s threatened to remove two-thirds of the clergy for homosexual attraction. Attraction! Not action! It goes against thousands of years of doctrine. He wants to shut out the people, take us back into the dark ages, when priests jealously kept all knowledge, language, doctrine, out of the reach of the common man. Do you understand what that means? He wants a monopoly on God. I know you remember how it felt, to be denied a position in the Swiss Guard, even though you are the best marksman who’s ever entered the Vatican? Just because of the arbitrary fact that you are not Swiss? He wants to do that but on a worldwide scale - and not just for the Guard, but for heaven itself.” Voiello pointed one stubby forefinger skyward. “I thought that you of all people could understand why this cannot go on.”
“Voiello,” Michael said, “you’re asking me to kill a man.”
“No,” Voiello said. “The Church is a body. If a body becomes cancerous, do we allow that cancer to kill the body? Or do we cut out the cancer? Even if it is living tissue, part of that body?”
Michael shook his head again, but slower this time. A little more, Voiello thought, a little more, and he’ll say yes.
“I don’t know,” he said.
“Michael,” Voiello said, “after all this time - don’t you trust me?”
Michael took a loud breath in, out, in, out. He drained his cup, letting the dregs of the espresso settle in a grainy stew at the bottom. “If I’m going to kill a man,” he said, “I need to look him in the face first. It isn’t that I don’t trust you,” he said, interrupting what would have been Voiello’s indignant protest, “but I have to decide for myself. Give me an audience - then I’ll decide.”
“Michael we don’t have time-”
“We?” said Michael, looking out from under a brush of brow. “Is it we who don’t have time? Or just you?”
Voiello stared back, and considered saying that no, it wasn’t just him, it was the Church herself.
“I’ll get you an audience,” he said.
“Good.” Michael stood. “In that case, I’d better go find my quarters. Thanks for the coffee.”
Voiello walked Michael to the front door, and held it open for him. He stepped out, then turned back to Voiello.
“Do you know how my son died?” he asked.
“I’m afraid I don’t,” Voiello said. “As I said, if I had known-”
“He was shot,” said Michael.
Voiello was suddenly overwhelmed with the memory of standing before Michael and his wife, both of them beaming, the tiny child in her arms. Voiello had been the one to baptize him. It could have been Wojtyla, they could have insisted - but Michael had asked for him instead. He remembered anointing the child and thinking of how tiny he was, how pink, how helpless. “Shot,” he repeated.
“Assassinated,” said Michael, and he left.
Voiello was in a rotten mood for the rest of the afternoon, and when the pope called him in for yet another audience, it was all he could do to catch every other word he said.
When they were finished, his holiness asked after Amatucci. “I understand that he’s ill,” he said. “Isn’t that too bad? I’m always seeing him in the garden, in the Apostolic Palace - just wherever I go, somehow, there he is. I missed him very much today. Please, won’t you tell him to get well from me?”
“I’m sure he would appreciate that very much, holy father,” said Voiello.
“And Tommaso, sick as well,” said the pope. “It’s really just too bad. You know, I think I might be coming down with it myself?”
“Oh, no, holy father,” said Voiello, and he was at least halfway to being genuinely concerned. “You are nauseated? Vomiting?”
“Mm,” said his holiness, “no.”
“Then - a headache, or trembling?”
“No,” said his holiness. “Is that what Amatucci is complaining of?”
“Yes, I’m afraid so - the doctor says he must stay in bed for at least another few days.”
“I see,” said the pope, putting an undue emphasis on the words, in Voiello’s opinion. “Maybe I’m not coming down with what he has after all. In fact, I’m just having trouble sleeping. Can’t you tell?”
He pointed to his eyes, which looked normal to Voiello.
“No, holy father, I’m happy to say that you look perfectly healthy to me.”
“Oh, that’s good - because my eyes feel so dry. Excuse me,” he said. And he took a small bottle of Visine from his pockets, making an exaggerated face as he let a drop splash first into one eye, then the other.
“Ah,” he said, “that is so much better.” And he carefully placed the nearly empty bottle in the middle of the desk.
Voiello stared at the bottle, and thought back. Tremors. Nausea. Vomiting. A racing heart, dilated pupils. And how to make someone just sick enough to be confined to his bed, but not to kill him - yet.
“I’m so happy to hear it, holy father,” he said carefully. “And I think you will find that you won’t see Amatucci quite so often in the future. He must be getting to his own duties once he gets well.”
“That is so good to hear,” said his holiness. “Good bye, Voiello.”
Voiello went straight to Valente, and begged him to allow the new automatic weapons trainer for the Pontifical Swiss Guard to have an audience with his holiness as soon as it could be arranged.
But there was still one thought that nagged him, all on his way back to discuss this problem with Girolamo. Why was it that Father Tomasso, who had to his knowledge never done the pope any harm, gotten ill as well?
He didn’t know, and not knowing made him unhappier still.
6 notes
·
View notes