#is so fascinating to me because it could work SO WELL

[rotting-ink]

can i just say that one thing i love abt the Royal route so far, is how well you managed to subtly portray just how detached from the real world the Royal is. like at the start, reading through your blog, and seeing that the Aide and Pasha both consider MC like a lost little lamb, i didn't fully get it? and then i played the demo and oh my god-

the contrast between specifically how the MC views the servants with that Pasha POV at the end. MC thinks they're all grown up, they even make a parallel between themself and Pasha as "sharing a secret" because they both left the house, but the way that they evolved from those experiences is so contrasting it actually gave me whiplash reading it. the way Pavel became so class conscious, realizing and despising the way he and his family would just take take take and meanwhile the MC doesn't even know who their servants are

it's genuinely fascinating to me. like you were right! the Royal has no fucking idea what it is like to live in the "real world". they're stuck inside a little safety bubble, coddled and pampered and told that they don't need to look outside, its ok, just close your eyes and think happy thoughts

makes me wonder if everyone else in the royal family is the same way, or if the Royal had it especially bad by being so sick all the time, treated like a glass doll from the moment they were born. i also love that their ignorance isn't treated as a synonym to innocence. they know violence, they have intrusive thoughts, they grew up surrounded by tragic stories and violent fairy tales and because of that they think they know how the world works

i don't blame the Aide for treating them like a clueless little puppy, honestly i'd do the same

I'M RUNNING LAPS AROUND MY ROOM!!! IM SO GLAD SOMEONE NOTICED!!!

Just wanted to quickly add in, that they have seen some horrible stuff at times, like in the side story with the Goodbye to Pavel. They are quietly reenacting something they accidentally saw, which is a peasant woman being tramped by Pavel's friend's horse, but they are mostly focusing on the senses of it, not the loss of life. The blood, the sound, the crunch, Pavel's hand over their eyes. I wish I could have added a Pavel pov, because while he'd also think back to the experience, he'd think about making sure the Royal stayed on Thunder as he checked on the peasant, watching her slowly die and quietly asking for her name while she struggled to breath, Feeling the moment she did finally bleed out and realising he had no idea how to help. That man's Guilt is endless and so fun to write about. Looking up and seeing one of his friends entertaining the MC and keeping their eyes off the body, while the other friend bemoaned his horse's hooves, caked in gore and the creature itself being spooked. While he himself doesn't even know who to tell that she died.

But it's so so fun. Because the Royal is morbid, even without meaning to. They are surrounded by violence- they can watch the Aide BATTER a man/woman at the resort, but all they think is that they couldn't get their first kiss and then the Aide can basically go down on them. They know violence, they know death, they have experienced pain, their culture has dark fairy tales, and strange history. Their ignorance is built off of never having to step down into someone else's shoes, even when their childhood companion basically "goes missing" and is hidden below stairs. Out of the two, Pavel knows what happened to them and ngl, that's why he remembers them so well.

ANYWAY! So no one in the family is as class conscious as Pavel. He does view his family as parasites who can take and take. Laszlo and Stas is a bit more aware, at least class wise. Laszlo came from a lower noble house in Magyar and his family skirted the class line from time to time. Luckily he's a gem and of course the Tsarina would want to ride him silly. Stas is only aware because he happened to develop a soft spot for a maid. He is curious about her, all things, and so does find out about her life, especially as a Serf. It does upset him, and since bringing her up in life to a Kept Lover, he tries not to think of it too much, given that "she doesn't have to go back there".

It's not that Albina and Abraim aren't aware, they just don't care. Good luck as a Servant with them btw.

The Royal and Tatsiana are... mirrors of each other. Aren't innocent but are ignorant. Focused on other things mostly. Aksana does somewhat know, but deem to give it attention, the world outside of her own. But she is more aware of disabilities, than the rest of the family. The self inflicted pain and hunger she does, but also her fiance. The way he was mocked in fact drew her to him at first, before deciding she wanted him the most. Inga and Kissy seem oblivious, but Inga does see more than she says.

And yes, The Aide does just pat them on the head, knowing they will never see or know as much as The Aide has.

[radicaldreemurrs]

just found your blog from that stupid twitter post: im incredibly sorry people are being mean to you. i feel like theres some sort of disconnect in how people view online discussions: if people dont like your tone they can be rude back, even though youre talking to yourself on your own blog and theyre coming in to harass you. maybe due to people forgetting that a tumblr 'blog' is supposed to be a journal of sorts. i hope you dont feel the need to temper your own expression for others. you arent giving a lecture.

anyway: i read through much of your posts describing your interpretation of the story. theres many things i could say but i dont find most of them relevant. people could stand here poking holes in each others arguments with facts and logic for hours and it wouldnt accomplish much of anything (especially since this argument stakes more on thematic preference and gut instincts than anything else at this point). where we are in the story any sort of read will have holes because we have half the story. people can try and 'get you' by asking how you justify the soul reading noelles thoughts or whatever, but its mostly to make themselves feel better that theyd sweat if someone asked them how theyd justify whatever else holes there certainly are in their takes. its easy to be insecure when your work will always be unfinished because youre working with paint that still has years to dry, i guess.

i find your read on the game completely fascinating and its making me consider facets i havent before. i think it provides incredibly nuanced reads of kris noelle and ralsei that people should look into whether or not they 'believe' you as i thnik theyre relevant anyways. the way i see it, honestly, is that the idea that the game about dissociation is true no matter how you look at it. in this interpretation, that is literal while the player commentary is a metaphor to service that. while in a standard read, the player commentary is literal while the dissociation aspect still exists as an allegory. they work in tandem and so i think people would find a lot in reading your work. that would make the game more complicated, of course, which i suppose is what people are afraid of.

theres really no point in people getting mad over your opinions differing from theirs seeing at the POINT of art is to interpret it in a way that is personal and meaningful to you. as someone with different life experiences, i cant fully agree with you, but i wouldnt be surprised if by the end of the game you were right on the money. who knows exactly where tobys working from after all. not to mention how undertale pulled the same trick with making you think flowey has meta awareness before rugpulling.

i hope you have a day that is not ruined by whatever obnoxious people are certainly currently in your askbox with me.

this was a very nice thing to receive today.... thank you very much for saying so. that's all i can ever hope for when i pose my own ideas, that it'll help people consider alternate perspectives and come up with interpretations of their own that relate to their experiences too, i always just wanna open up discussion and get new angles going. and yeah you're right, people could just try to keep poking holes in my argument thinking they're pulling some absolute gotcha but unfortunately for them i'm an adult human being with better things to do, and i don't owe my time to anyone who doesn't care to understand my experiences. i know this well by now, trust me.

and don't worry, i'm very stubborn. it would take a lot for me to change my temperament just cause some dickheads online didn't like the way i expressed my points. if it were that easy, i wouldn't be where i am now, heheh. i hope you have a good day too, this was very thoughtful of you to express.

[venusmage]

since you're playing tes games again how would you rank them

Oh god this is the most subjective question ever. Elder Scrolls is a series over 30 years old. Arena came out 2 years before I was even born. I first played one of the games in 2009 after my uncle gave me his old PC and copies of Oblivion and Morrowind (the latter complete with his own personal selection of mods burned on a CD that I desperately wish I still had). This blog exists at all because I was a 15 year old wanting a place to stash all my TES RP art. And, obviously, the story I’ve told before where I met my spouse through this stuff lol.

I think many fans in the series tend to have a preference for their first game. Mine was Oblivion, chosen purely because I thought the symbol on the box was cool. In terms of warm fuzzy nostalgia, it’s probably always going to win in that department. Though after replaying I don’t think it’s my favorite overall anymore (though Skyblivion might change that when jt comes out!) In reality though it’s going to depend on what you’re looking after in each game and which one speaks to you the most. TES has also always had an active modding community, so your preferences there will matter, too.

Generally, my list goes like this:

1. Morrowind. I know the joke is that people don’t shut up about how Morrowind is the best game but. It is. Even I have to admit it by now. The setting is fascinating, the characters are fascinating (and the best written imo), I LOVE its main quest: how it feels like such an odyssey. There’s so much to it. And I think it has a lot of interesting things to say. Your final conversation with Dagoth Ur might be one of the best convos in game history in my opinion. The fact it’s not even clear if you really are the incarnate or if you only followed the beats JUST enough to effectively achieve the same thing. The game asks if that even really matters. While I’m a sucker for reincarnation stories (and as a Buddhist I love how Morrowind pulls from a lot of eastern spirituality and philosophy) I LOVE every ‘kind’ of Nerevarine there can be. You cement the tone of the game in that final convo with Ur. Also the modding scene is great. I’m playing OpenMW total overhaul right now and it feels SO good. It’s art direction is also my favorite by far. Only challenged by Shivering Isles.

2. Oblivion. I actually wonder if it SHOULD be lower or if my nostalgia is overriding it. However I still really enjoy its MQ, too, and enjoy all of its faction questlines as well. Narratively it really isn’t nearly as strong as Morrowind (or Daggerfall when it Gets Going), but seeing the end of the 3rd era is extremely cool, and Martin pulls a LOT of weight. Aside from Morrowind, I think Martin, Baurus, and Shivering Isles’ version of Sheogorath specifically are some of the best written characters in the series. Though I do have to deduct points bc there’s straight up No Women in the MQ that matter in any way (unless you play one). Even Morrowind and Skyrim have…one or two. If they’re written with respect is another story, but they’re at least THERE. I do think it has the best soundtrack in the series though. And I love Cyrodiil so much. I still stand by my statement that SI is one of the greatest game expansions ever made.

3. Daggerfall. Purely because it has the Warp in the West and puts us directly, intentionally in the shoes of someone doing the emperor’s dirty work. I think Daggerfall has the best reasoning to DO its main quest, where the other games just kind of hope you decide to go along with it without any real external pressure. When I play Daggerfall I feel compelled to do the MQ because of who I’m playing: an agent of the empire. Uriel’s most loyal blade. I admit I don’t seek this one out to play often. I’ve gotten pretty far into it a few times but always fall off. It’s one of my favorite narratives in the series though and if I could wish a true remake of any game into existence it would be Daggerfall. I’d love to see a version of the game with TES’ now more fleshed out art direction, lore, quality of life improvements etc. Walk-Brass is my favorite little lore tidbit of the series and getting to directly interact with something regarding it makes me SO happy (It’s another thing I love about Morrowind, too, with Anumidium’s reveal in red mountain).

4. Skyrim. It’s iconic, has great music and art direction. Conceptually I think the dragons/dragonborn is very interesting. However it’s easily the worst written out of the “main three” because it seems so bored with its own plotlines. Unlike Oblivion I don’t think I like ANY of the faction questlines for this one. It has the MOST insane modding scene, at least, and it’s really cool seeing how creative the community is. Its expansions are alright. I wish we had more time with Miraak because he’s a lot more interesting than Alduin. I think Skyrim has the most wrong with it in ways that are hard to dig in and fix without subjecting it to a total rewrite. My hopes are LOW for the writing quality of the next game (if one ever happens).

5. Arena. Nothing against it but it’s just the game that’s least interesting to me overall. It’s the start of the series and that’s cool! However its story doesn’t compel me and the series didn’t start to develop memorable lore until Daggerfall and Morrowind.

I’m not counting spinoff games in this list because I’ve played basically none of them, including ESO.

[nobodysdaydreams]

I have a theory about why Petey’s reintegration failed, what it will take for someone to properly reintegrate, and how this could complicate the endings they choose to give to Helly, Mark, and Gemma.

Haven't severance posted in a while, but I had to get this off my chest, because it fascinates me. Sorry in advance for a ridiculously long post/ramble.

I've been thinking a lot about Petey's reintegration and why it failed, and honestly I think the heart of it is the answer to the question: are the innies and outties two separate people, or the same person? Because I've seen arguments for both perspectives on Tumblr as well as third positions that say it's "kind of both/complicated", and all of them make compelling cases, but there's other aspects of the innie and outtie relationship that I don't think are talked about enough, and they could have very strong implications for how reintegration is going to affect our characters.

Let's start by using Petey as an example. Part of his reintegration problem was the timeline in his mind. Severance felt as far away as his fifth birthday, which makes sense if you take the perspective that the innies and outties are two people. This way of thinking certainly helps Lumon dehumanize innies as the “other” and pits the innies and outties against each other and appears to be what's happening from the viewers perspectives, as innies and outties disagree with each other and sometimes take steps to undermine each other.

But there's interesting implications when you reexamine the show's stated science behind it. While it seems like the innies are their "own separate people" that happen to share a body, it's notable that the innies aren’t created as a duplicate or other consciousness, not exactly. If that was the case, then the independent consciousnesses could theoretically be active in the same body at the same time, each with their own thoughts and unable to access each other's memories and experiences (though once aware at the same time, they would make memories and experiences together, much like a split brain patient). But thus far, as the science has been explained to us in the show, what severance does has nothing to do with duplicating or dividing consciousness in the brain, but memories, and that's an aspect of the procedure that could easily haunt many characters later and has interesting implications for what a successful reintegration could eventually look like if they decided to become "one person".

Let's take Mark, for example. Think of the moment he wakes up on the table. To Mark S, that's when "his life" begins, but "his life" is really just Mark Scout + amnesia at that point. His memories are there, but something is blocking his access to them, and when he goes up the elevator, his memories return, but now with something blocking access to other memories. So while an unsuccessfully reintegrated timeline might look the way Petey's did, with waking up on table = fifth birthday and he sees them as two separate lives he lived, a successfully reintegrated timeline for a character might look something like this:

"I was depressed so I took a job at Lumon, agreed to severance, and went down the elevator. Once down the elevator, I forgot everything, so I started working, and I hated my job. Then I went up the elevator. Once up the elevator, I forgot the whole work day, but remembered everything else, so I when home I made these decisions, which lead me back down the elevator. Once there, I forgot everything again, but remembered the day before. However, since I forgot, (for example) that I was married, I started falling in love with this person, or since I forgot that I have these values/fears/ideals, I did this action when I normally wouldn't. Then I went up the elevator and forgot the whole work day again, but remembered everything else...."

And it just continues like that. One perfectly integrated timeline for one person because the only thing separated was their memories. Sure, characters made different choices with access to different memories, but people make different decisions with different amounts of information, like stories where a character gets amnesia and acts different as a result because for better or worse, key memories are gone, but that doesn't make them "not them". The amnesia is part of their story arc, and the changes in the character are obvious, but I’m in multiple fandoms with that storyline, and we don't look at them and necessarily think "boom! It's a new person now, the old one died" and when/if the memories come back, it's not like there's suddenly two people now, even if the character might feel conflicted due to their new experiences when they couldn’t remember their previous life. It's just that unlike most amnesia stories where it happens in one big accident and characters forget one set of information they knew, the characters in severance are in a constant back and forth of "I forget this but I remember that, I forgot these memories, but I have these ones back now" and both innies/outties are selective amnesiacs.

This leads back to a debate that lies at the heart of severance the show: are these two different people or the same person? And while the "two people" answer is to Lumon's benefit (a house divided can't stand against them) and "one person" seems to be suggested if my theory about the science/process involved in a successful reintegration is correct, I think the answer is actually way more complicated and going to depend on the individuals themselves. Theoretically speaking, yes, all severance does is isolate and compartmentalize one person's memories (which we know because it's not like Helena and Helly R. can be awake and aware at the same time in the same body while simultaneously not accessing each other's memories or reintegrating into one person, at least that we know so far), thus implying that all the severed are really just one person with "spatially isolated memories" as the show says. But if a successful reintegration, as I'm theorizing, depends on accepting that reality, then some characters might not be able to do that and choose to continue living their lives as if they are two separate people who happen to take turns using the same body.

I think this will be hard for the outties and innies for a variety of reasons, and one general reason is that from the way Mark Scout and Helena speak to their innies, it's clear they don't really see them as people or a part of themselves at all. Their bodies aren't "Mark S. and Helly R.'s bodies" they are Mark Scout and Helena Eagan's bodies, and while Mark Scout and Helena Eagan's decisions lead to partial occupation of their bodies (and by extension, lives) by Mark S. and Helly R., from their perspective, they still have every right to evict them. From the outtie’s perspective, innies are just using/being loaned bodies and lives that don’t belong to them. Once the outties decide they don’t want their innie anymore, then it’s goodbye. Unpleasant for the innies of course, but what are they going to do? This isn’t their body or their life? Even if the outties do see the innies as people, they still don't see them as equal people with an equal right to the body they inhabit, and they certainly don't see the innies as part of themselves rather than separate people/parasites, and since I hypothesize accepting themselves as one might be what is needed for a successful reintegration, that’s gonna be a problem. And of course, the more hostile the outties are to their innies, the more the innies don't want to accept the outties are part of themselves either, because "hey, I get this is your body and your life and all, but uh...you did create me and put me in here, okay? So pardon me for wanting to live and be a person. You see me as an enemy, but I'm a enemy you made! Remember that? Remember you putting me in "your body"? Maybe you could be a little nicer?"

Of course as I said before, all this innie/outtie hostility only serves Lumon. The more they fight, the more divided they are, the most powerful Lumon becomes. Less memories per person at any time means less knowledge per person at any time. But even if an outtie and innie were to reach an understanding, that alone does not a successfully reintegration make. They wouldn't just need to get along as two separate people, if my theory is right, they need to accept (or decide if you'd prefer to think of it like that) that they're one person. For some characters, I think this will be easy, and a stitched together timeline where you accept yourselves as one person seems like the perfect solution. Take Dylan G. for example. He gets new friends, his wife, his kids and memories of being awesome and falling back in love. Who wouldn't want that? He better get reintegrated and live his best life.

But then of course, we have Helly R./Helena, Mark S./Mark Scout, and Gemma/Ms. Casey, which is a way more complicated situation. Personally, I do not care who "ends up" with who, though I do humbly think that the situation is far less simplistic than it often gets made out to be in terms of "oh but these two HAVE to end up together if reintegrated/severed", and will be talking about it, as this does factor into the decisions the characters might end up making.

For example, and this might be the world's most unpopular opinion, but I do not think reintegration = Mark automatically choosing either woman over the other, Gemma or Mark hating Helly, or even either woman insisting Mark should obviously be with them. Let's start with Mark. What would reintegration mean for him? What would his "stitched together timeline" look like? Well, it's the story about him getting severed because of the pain of losing his wife, and spending two years getting over her, then going to work, forgetting about that, falling in love with someone new, then going back up, forgetting that again, but mourning his wife some more and trying to maybe date someone else but it goes nowhere, then he goes back down, forgets all that, and continues the romance with his coworker, goes back up, finally learns his wife is alive after two years and feels that hope, then goes back down, forgets that, and continues the romance again, etc. Overall, when put together, it's the story of a guy who sometimes forgot he had a wife, so he fell in love with a coworker after she died, only to discover his wife is alive again. None of that necessarily means he will choose one woman over the other. He and Gemma have history and they clearly care about each other, but they were also separated for a long time and it’s gonna take a while to see if they can fall back in their rhythm or if that’s even possible. Mark and Helly have a more recent relationship, but her outtie also knew his wife was being tortured at Lumon and didn’t tell him. Didn’t even act sorry about an innocent woman being tortured and killed. She also slept with Mark’s innie under false pretenses. Even if she was raised that way it still might be (understandably) hard for Mark to see past that. But none of these points might even matter at all because we have no idea how Gemma and Helly being reintegrated or not reintegrated will impact Mark's decision even if he himself is successfully reintegrated.

Take Gemma for example. You might think "Well, she's Mark's wife. She believed he would come for her, she waited years for him, she never lost hope in him, and Helly is literally Helena Eagan, who knew she was down there and did nothing. Of course Gemma is not gonna understand or care about their relationship and insist that Mark is her husband and should be with her!" And maybe that's true for Gemma. But consider what a reintegrated timeline would look like for her. Ms. Casey said the best part of her existence was "watching Helly". Seeing Mark, who was kind to her and concerned for her, fall in love. It's like when you have two friends that you ship really hard and are so happy when they end up together but in this case, uh-oh! Now you suddenly remember that actually one of them is your husband, which you periodically kept forgetting ever time you went up that dang elevator, which introduces complicated feelings, but I don't think a reintegrated Gemma would look at Mark and Helly together and be like "ew. now where did this come from?" she knows where it came from, she was there,m. Her story is a back and forth between "My husband is going to save me. He loves me and would never give up on me.” and "the best part of my existence is seeing these two together".

Then we have Helly. And her story is more difficult to stich together because we don't have all of Helena's backstory. But we know that Helena, despite having feelings for Mark, did make some pretty big missteps. Look, maybe she has secretly been working against her father and family this whole time. We don't know. But what we do know is that even if that is the case, she still slept with Mark under false pretenses and made insensitive comments about his wife knowing that she was being tortured daily, and probably has done some other shady stuff. I'm sure she did it under pressure/the influence of her father and suffered too, and I don't want to discount that, but she still did it. And Helly is not going to be happy about that, and even less happy to remember "oh yeah, when I went up the elevator and temporarily forgot my life down here, but suddenly remembered my whole crazy upbringing, that was me that did those things to the man I love and got weirdly jealous of myself like a crazy person." I could see her stepping aside so Mark and Gemma can be together because she realizes/remembers her actions and is horrified by them, but I can also see her really wanting to make their relationship work since Mark is the one thing both her and Helena seem to agree on and this is the one thing they both seem to really want. Her story is a weird back and forth between "I'm going to destroy this company" to "forget all that, we're back to either running the company or destroying it from the inside depending on what the writers do here" and back to forgetting all that again and going back to destroying Lumon with Mark. So, yeah, until we know a little more about Helena, it's hard to say what a reintegration with her would look like, but I think that "she'd realize the error of her wicked ways and stand aside so Mark and Gemma could be together, what happened between Helly and Mark doesn’t matter at all" and "no, she deserves happiness, and her and Mark belong together just forget about the complications" are not guarantees.

So in summary, where does that leave our trio? The way I see it, we have two options main options here. Option 1, which I've discussed above is everybody reintegrates. Their timelines are stitched together, and Gemma/Casey, Helena/Helly, and Mark/uh...Mark, remember everything, and all the complicated feelings, pains, self-hatred, and betrayal that comes with it, and then...they work it out. They talk through their feelings like adults. They can't change what happened, but it is what it is, and now the three of them remember everything. Their whole story. Hopefully a very qualified therapist is involved, and yes, the most likely scenario is multiple people getting their feelings hurt if not all of them, but life is messy and complicated, and sometimes this is what happens. Is it fair to everyone? No. Is this a bittersweet ending? For sure. But on the bright side, now they can talk it out. Now they have their lives back, their full, complete lives. Now they're all working on the same side as their whole selves, no separated or compartmentalized memories. That at least is something, something that could be a good place of common ground.

Then there's option 2: one or both of the innies/outties can't or won’t accept or decide that they're the same people, so they can't reintegrate. As much as the severance show tells us "hey we just separated and isolated your memories, not your consciousness" and "It's hard to tell which "person" you are (or rather, which set of memories you have access to at a given time)", that's not what we see or what the characters see. And let's face it. If someone told you that you had another life where you fell in love with someone other than your current partner, or watched, heck, even rooted for them, to fall for someone else, or tortured and hurt your current partner and someone else who you consider a friend, would you want to remember that? And even if one character can reintegrate, a lot of their ability to move forward and make decisions about their future depends if the other two are also reintegrating or not because of how entangled their lives are now. Living as separate people might be what's easiest, whether that's what's "actually happening" during severance or not. It's giving up half a life, but if the characters decide the stitched together life isn't the one they want to remember, but also won’t kill each other to take over their life, then what else are they to do? Ironically, I see this ending just as bittersweet as the other one. I imagine at a certain time every year, Helena drives to that cabin in the woods. Mark and Gemma Scout arrive too, separate car. They just sort of look at each other, acknowledge each other. Helena knows outtie Mark is the person who chose Gemma over her, that her innie gets a version Mark and she doesn't, but at least she has control of the company now. At least she's free from her father. And of course, to Outtie Mark and Gemma, Helena is the person who knowingly let them be tortured and tried to make a move on Mark knowing what her father's company was doing to his supposedly dead wife. Sure, she turned it around and helped them, but that still happened. And all of them know what's going to happen when they walk into the cabin. Mark and Helly are going to be together, and Mark is disgusted by the fact that a version of him fell in love with the woman who tortured his wife even though he supposes "technically" it's not her, and Helena hates that it's Helly getting that romance, and not her, and Gemma is unhappy, because how would you feel if your partner was in this situation, and you were about to be turned into someone who thought that your husband and the lady who knew you were being tortured in her dad’s basement looked cute together?

But what can they do? Refuse to return to the cabin? Selectively delete their bundles of severed memories, removing them like a brain tumor? They could. But deep down, they know they can't. Even Gemma, whose innie was made through zero fault or consent of her own, can't bring herself to condemn an innocent and kind person to just "stop existing", even if she knows that "person" is just "memories she forgot + forgetting her current memories". So they go inside. And just like that, Helly R., Mark S., and Ms. Casey are back. They can't leave the cabin, though they might want to. Their world and existence are small. But it's there's, and they don't have to share it with their outties. They don't have to work for Lumon. They can be happy. And if they need to know about anyone else or anything else going on outside, they can gather on the balcony and have someone step out to activate their outtie to talk to the other two. But I feel like they might try to avoid that, if they can. Perhaps a conversation between Outtie Mark and Helly so he can see and understand how a version of himself could fall in love with her and verify that Ms. Casey is happy with her situation. But that might be it. And then, when the time is up, they leave. They don't know if they'll be back, but they hope so. Mark and Helly hug one last time, before exiting through separate doors as Mark leaves with Ms. Casey. Then they all go outside, get back in their cars, and drive away, as if the time just disappeared. They don't remember what happened in the cabin. They don't want to remember. Maybe that was them, maybe it was always them. But it's easier to act like they aren't the same person, for them and their innies. So that's how they act. Forever.

Anywayyyy... I'm not saying that this is necessarily where the show is going, but it's my theory about what makes for a successful reintegration, and you don't have to agree with it or like it, but I hope someone finds in narratively compelling. And if you're reading this and hate both these options because it ruins your beautiful ship, please know that I hope your ship works out, and you are happy. I have no control over that, and obviously that hope can't work for everyone since what everyone wants seems to contradict each other (an ironically perfect metaphor for our characters), but either way, at least we'll have fanfic.

[a-walking-fandom-reference]

EDDIE DIAZ IS SO ASPEC CODED I WANT TO EXPLODE

[leguin]

i've seen you when your ship came in and when your train was leaving

[lucky-draws]

a few of the latest pages from my sketchbook .... 🌿

[ghastlycrew]

alsooooo. the differences between how kiryu and saejima respond to majima's "death" are really making me go hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii <3

[doctorwhoisadhd]

god i wish i could see that flute player automaton. unfortunately its been lost but an automaton that can legitimately play is SO cool...

[ceramicbeetle]

almost no one has written binx/hob content and certainly no one had written it in the way i am currently finding it intriguing, which is admittedly disappointing. so perhaps i will have to do it if no one else will.

[catenary-chad]

the Starlight Express Alumni Podcast is fascinating because you have

-multiple stories of people accidentally falling into roles that suit them perfectly, in very different ways

-Reva Rice basically never got hurt and one of the only times she did was OFF SKATES when she fell down the stairs

-Dolan Jose REALLY wanting to cover the “girl components” and being SO excited to at least be Wrench

-the mental image of a 6’6 Vegas Showgirl looking guy as a couples therapist

-the perpetual challenge of casting Poppas lol this constantly comes up in different Stex interviews

[queenlua]

man why is every single hawk we see in tellius a dude. it's like intsys didn't even realize lady!hawks are BIGGER and thus would CLEARLY be the warriors in any kind of arrangement where they're forming armies and such—

[princewylder]

Something I didn't really notice until replaying Royal but Ryuji really doesn't let the past hold him down? Like in the rank 2 scene he tells Akira that he doesn't want to focus on his past and he's more focused about the future.

I think that's kinda neat tbh he doesn't wanna let the stuff with Kamoshida or his dad drag him down, he just wants to keep going forward.

[dailyoyo]

i need to think more abouyt roboy. i need to think more anout roboy. i keep forgetting him i dont want to forget him i like him.

[kathaynesart]

And here we go. For the full experience I would recommend reading while listening to THIS SONG. It inspired a vast majority of the scene as well as the timing, though I fear you'd have to read pretty fast to get to the ending at the same time as the song ends, so uh... good luck! Trigger warnings below:

The Day the Sky Bled Red

BEGINNING || PREVIOUS || NEXT MASTER POST

Whew. I'm so glad to finally be done with these big updates. After over a year I will finally be able to return to my smaller update format.

Some keen viewers might notice the reuse of certain shots from the series. There is very much intentional, though the reason for this will not be made clear until the ending of the arc.

As of the final shot we are FINALLY back to present-day in the Replica timeline (if it wasn't obvious). I'd drop in a timeline for reference but uh... I maxed out on the Tumblr images. Oh well. Hopefully the context clues were enough to help though!

I do want to take a moment to TED Talk about Raph's ninpo, if that's alright. Unlike his brothers, Raph didn't really spend much time trying to come up with unique ways of using his abilities. Why improve what already worked for him? However, I do think one interesting ability could have come naturally to him over time. I always found his way of mentally connecting with his brothers as "Mind Raph" to be a fascinating joke in the series. They way he could help and communicate with his brothers is something that was always really important to him and I see that ability bleeding into his ninpo. Because of this I feel that his Raph clones were always able to find and reach his brothers no matter the distance. His ability to interact with them at the same time was something he was still learning in the series, like when Mind Raph apologized to Leo for taking a moment too long to respond because he was busy helping someone else. Because of this I see his clones being able to react and communicate independently (kind of like Naruto clones), but are in constant connection to the original source, Raph himself. This made it really easy for Raph to relay information to the brothers, though it was seldom needed since Donnie's ninpo tech normally had that covered. On another note, I also wanted to make a point that whenever one of the brothers died in the bad future timeline, it was when they were separated from their brothers. I always liked in the movie how it wasn't until the brothers worked together that they were able to regain their abilities, confront the Krang, and even open portals to different dimensions. I wanted that lesson to resonate in Replica as well, even if subtly. Anyways, thanks for coming to my TED Talk!

The rest of the arc will be a lot less action, but still plenty more emotions. I can't promise that we won't be doing more flashbacks in the future but nothing to the extent of the "Holiday Special." We got a story to get through after all!

Thank you so much everyone for your patience with me as I slowly inch my way through this big story. It means a lot to me! I promise the next update will not be so emotionally draining.

[fireinmoonshot]

more than a friend should | robert reynolds x fem!reader

THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR MARVEL'S THUNDERBOLTS*.

Pairing: Robert 'Bob' Reynolds x Fem!Reader Summary: Bob didn't quite count on himself being starstruck by seeing you in a dress for the first time. You didn't count on yourself forgetting how to breathe when you saw Bob in a suit. But when you both have to get through a black tie event, the only way to do it is by getting through it together. Warnings: Mentions of general mental health struggles, anxiety, being drained from social activities and exhaustion. A very brief mention of alcohol and drugs. Reader wears a dress. Very brief swearing. Word Count: 4.3k A/N: I got a request for this fic last week and I totally fell in love with the idea. It took me a while to write just because I really wanted it to be perfect and I'm so happy with how it turned out. It's my longest fic for Bob so far! I did not proof read it after I finished my final draft. It's 11:30pm and I am so tired, so let's hope there are no mistakes in there 😂 Thank you so much for the response on all my Bob fics up to this point – I'm so happy that so many people are enjoying them. I hope you'll enjoy this one too! 💗

Bob knows that he’s screwed the second he sees you walk out into the penthouse from your room where you’d been getting ready. He doesn’t even notice Mel walking out behind you.

“Oh, fuck,” he mutters under his breath, totally unaware that he wasn’t as quiet as he’d thought he was being.

Walker, stood right beside him, glances at him. “You all right, Bobby?”

Bob tears his gaze away from you and looks at Walker, eyes a little glazed over. It doesn’t last long, though – his ability to not look at you. Not two seconds later he finds you again. Walker watches the whole thing, eyebrows furrowed and confusion written all over his face.

Was something going on between you and Bob? He was surely reading the situation wrong. If there was some kind of romance going on between the two of you, he was obviously going to know about it.

“What do we all think?” Mel’s voice breaks both Bob and Walker out of their thoughts. She’s standing beside you, motioning to the dress that you’re wearing. 

You smooth the dress down with your hands and instantly miss the pockets of your suit. As a New Avenger, wearing dresses is not something you’re used to. You spend most of your time in your suit or clothes that are comfortable when you’re not working. This is the entire opposite.

“Mel helped me pick it out,” you explain.

“It’s cute,” Ava says, standing up from where she’d been sitting down to wait for everyone to get ready. You’re glad to see that she’s wearing a dress as well – it makes the stress of it a little better, knowing you don’t have to go through it all alone.

You thank her at the same time that you catch Bob staring at you. Your breath catches in your throat as you notice the suit he’s wearing – a big change from the clothes he usually wears around the Watch Tower. Bob is nearly always wearing some kind of sweatpants. To see him in something like a suit, so perfectly tailored to fit him, is a sight to behold.

He still looks like Bob, though. His hair is a little messy and his tie is crooked, which makes you smile a little. They could put him in a suit, but he was clearly not very happy about it.

“You look different,” you start, beginning to walk over to Bob. “I can’t believe they actually got you out of sweatpants for the night.”

Bob laughs a little, then almost chokes on his own breath as he notices your hands reaching up towards him. They find his tie and straighten it. He lets out a shaky breath as you place your hands on his chest, running them over the lapels of his suit jacket, before dropping them.

Ever since Bob had met you, he’d been fascinated by you. He loved watching you kick ass as an Avenger, but he liked seeing the non-Avenger side of you more. His crush on you had grown rather quickly once he’d caught you reading one of his favourite books. Then, you’d offered to start doing buddy reads with him and he’d fallen even harder.

It often made him smile – the fact that the world knew you as one thing, but to Bob you were something entirely different. That to him, there were parts of you that no one else got to see. That once a month, you and him would sit up late into the night discussing the book you’d read and end up falling asleep on the bean bags on his bedroom floor. That every morning, he’d often see you coming out of your bedroom, opposite his, and think about how cute you looked with your bed hair. Those were the kind of memories he held closer than ever.

“You do, too,” he nods, hoping that you couldn’t feel the way his heart is beating out of his chest when you had your hands on him. “You look really nice. I like this colour.”

The smile that appears on your face only makes Bob’s heart race faster. 

“You look handsome, Bob,” you complimented. You open your mouth, about to say something else, when Valentina enters the room and shatters the moment entirely. She has a habit of that.

“Where’s Yelena?” Val asks, turning around to look at everyone. You can see the way her eyes snag on you and Bob and how close you’re standing together, but her gaze doesn’t linger too long.

“I’m here,” Yelena answers, clearly irritated, as she walks into the penthouse from the hallway. “And before you say anything, Valentina, I am not going to change into a dress.”

Yelena is, unsurprisingly, going against the dress code and wearing a pant suit. You very clearly remember reading instructions on the invitation – women were to wear dresses, men to wear suits. Of course Yelena had taken that as a suggestion rather than a request. 

For a moment, Valentina just looks at Yelena, venom in her eyes, but then she shakes her head and looks away from her, clearly sensing that starting an argument with one of her Avengers right before you all leave for a black tie event is not the best course of action.

“Well, at least the rest of you look appropriate,” she sighs. “When we arrive, instead of you all walking in as a group, I want you to enter as pairs. It’ll look better, make you seem more human. And it’ll drag out the entrance so that we get more attention. One of you will have to go solo since there’s an odd number of you but–”

“I’ll do it,” Yelena raises her hand, cutting Val off. “I’m going to wait in the car.” 

Before anyone else can say anything, Yelena heads straight to the elevator and gets in, heading down to the car, waiting to take you all to the venue. You stifle a laugh, amused at how quickly Yelena had snagged the ‘entering solo’ opportunity. It’s understandable, though. You make eye contact with Ava, who just shrugs. The last thing either of you want is to walk in on the arm of a man, being made to look like a piece of eye candy to every other man in the room, but without Ava fighting Val with you, it’s clearly not going to be worth your time.

Valentina ignores Yelena’s exit. “Okay, Bucky and Alexei, you two are a pair,” she begins, pointing at the two of them and ignoring the way that Bucky groans and Alexei cheers, exclaiming something about the co-leaders. “Ava and Walker, you two… and that leaves you,” she points towards you, “and Bob. You two look cozy. Don’t get too cozy, though.”

You look at Bob and give him your best reassuring smile. Out of all of the other Avengers, you’re grateful that Val paired you with Bob. The two of you are more comfortable with each other than you are with any of the others. At least being on his arm means you have someone that you feel especially safe and relaxed around right by your side. 

Bob feels the same way. He’d much rather walk in with you beside him than alone, and he has to admit that he’d worried Val was going to make him be the one to go solo before Yelena had volunteered. He’s infinitely relieved that he doesn’t have to be. 

With that, Val starts to walk towards the elevator. Mel hurries after her, leaving the rest of you all standing in the room until she beckons you over from the elevator, telling you all to hurry up.

You stay close to Bob’s side as you walk towards the elevator. “You ready for this?” You ask, nudging his arm with your elbow gently.

Bob grimaces. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to things like this.”

“Me neither,” you flash him a grin. “But at least we’ll be together. If you feel nervous, you can just hold on tight to me, all right? And once we’re inside, we can find a corner and start discussing what book we’re going to read next. Sound like a plan?” 

The two of you step inside the elevator and Bucky reaches forward to press the Ground Floor button.

“Sounds like a plan,” Bob nods, smiling. 

––––

Bob takes you up on your offer pretty quickly once you arrive at the event. Your arm is wrapped around his but he’s the one holding you close. Your body is pressed up against his side. He’s putting all of his energy into focusing on the feeling of your touch so that he doesn’t start to spin out with anxiety over the fact that he’s here.

It’s almost like you can hear his thoughts, because only seconds later he hears you ask him if he’s okay. His head snaps towards you, breath hitching in his throat as he sees you already looking at him.

You have the most beautiful eyes, he thinks.

“Bob?” You say his name again.

Just hearing his name from your lips snaps him out of his head. “I don’t think I should be here,” he says, glancing away from you to have a quick look around the room. There are so many people in the room, probably hundreds, and they’re all staring at him. No – not him, all of you. “I can’t even control my powers. I’m not a proper Avenger like all of you. I should’ve just stayed home and given Val some excuse.”

You frown and tighten your grip on his arm just a little. “That’s not true, Bob. You deserve to be here as much as any of us do. We wouldn’t even be here without you,” you explain. “And, for the record, I’m glad you’re here. Who would I have entered with if you weren’t here?”

“I’m sure you would’ve entered with someone.”

“I wouldn’t have wanted to enter with anyone but you.”

Bob looks back at you, not quite believing your words. “Really?”

“Really.” 

It’s a little more bearable once you’ve all entered the room and found a spot to stand, crowded around a small but very tall table in the corner of the room. There are still a lot of eyes on all of you, but thankfully the attention has died down a little since your entrance.

“Do you want me to let go?” You mutter, looking up at Bob. You’re still holding onto his arm, even though Ava and Walker had let go of each other the second the entrance was over. It was partially for you and partially for Bob that you hadn’t let go yet. 

You were just as nervous as he was. Events like this were not your idea of a good Saturday evening. If you’d had things your way, you’d be back at the Watch Tower, cooking something easy yet delicious for dinner and preparing to curl up on one of Bob’s bean bags all night to read with him.

“No,” Bob shakes his head. “Not yet. Please.”

You give him a small smile, reassuring him that you won’t let go, and let out a small breath of relief yourself. As long as you get to keep a hold of Bob, your anxiety will be able to be kept at a minimum. 

“So, what are we supposed to do now?” Ava asks, crossing her arms over her chest and looking around the room. “You know what? I’m going to find some alcohol. Anyone else?”

Alexei is quick to agree and Walker offers to go with them, simply not wanting Ava to have to deal with Alexei and alcohol on her own. It leaves you, Bob, Yelena and Bucky standing around the table.

“You’ve been to plenty of things like this, Bucky,” you start. “Have any advice for the rest of us who’ve never done anything like this before?”

Bucky sighs and shoves his hands in the pockets of his trousers. “Just hope and pray that the night goes quickly.”

“That’s great advice,” Yelena deadpans.

He’s about to say something in response when Valentina appears out of nowhere, gliding towards the four of you with a grin on her face that none of you like the look of.

“Oh, here we go,” Yelena murmurs under her breath.

“Where are the rest of you? Actually, never mind… okay, Yelena and Bob, come with me. I have some investors I want you to meet,” she says, beckoning the two of them forward.

You share a look with Bob that says everything that words can’t at the moment. Only minutes earlier Bob had been asking you to not let go of him, and here you were being practically forced to. Maybe Valentina deemed this to be too cozy – and she’d told you not to be earlier. Maybe this was her way of punishing you both for going against her word. Or maybe she just wanted to flaunt Bob off to the investors.

That seemed like the most likely option.

“I’ll see you soon, okay?” You mutter, only loud enough for Bob to hear as you reluctantly let go of his arm and immediately cross your arms over your chest, not wanting to feel the cool air on them after having them wrapped up in Bob’s warmth. 

You watch as he and Yelena walk away, trying to push down the feeling in your stomach that has been growing more and more as you spend more time around Bob. It’s never going to end well for you, you know it. But still, the feeling lingers.

––––

Bob can’t remember the names of any of the people that Valentina have introduced him and Yelena to. He’s been standing here being talked at for ten minutes now and everything they’ve said has gone in one ear and out the other. He hasn’t even properly looked at their faces – all he can see is you over their shoulder, standing across the room with Bucky.

You look so beautiful in that dress. He should tell you later.

“While we’re here,” one of the investors speaks, “I want to introduce you to my daughter and a few of her friends she brought along tonight.” 

Bob is snapped out of his distraction as Yelena gently elbows him in the side. For the first time, he actually looks at the face of one of the men in front of him just as he’s beckoning his daughter forward. She’s followed by three other women, right behind her, all giggling and eyeing Bob up. 

“Ladies, this is Robert Reynolds. He’s also known as The Sentry,” Valentina introduces him to the girl and her friends. “He’s incredibly strong and you should see how fast he can move!”

Yelena barely restrains herself from putting her head into her hands. Instead, she lets out a small groan of “For fuck’s sake, Valentina” and shakes her head.

The girls all introduce themselves to Bob but their names don’t register with him like he knows that they should. He introduces himself in return, just to be kind, but just as Bob. Not The Sentry. He’s not that person and he hates the way that Valentina is using that side of him to gain attention from the investors. His hand  unknowingly clenches into a fist at his side.

“You’re much more handsome in person,” one of the girls says, stepping a little closer towards him. All Bob can think about is the fact that you had called him handsome tonight too.

“I can’t believe we’ve been living in the same city for so long now and we’ve never met before,” another adds. Bob knows why – he’s barely left the Watch Tower since he moved in. Why would he want to when the one thing he needs in New York is already there, right across the hall from him in your own bedroom?

He’s well aware that the girls are trying to flirt with him but he doesn’t even want to try and flirt back with them – not that he’s really any good at flirting. He’s had his fair share of flings over the years. He was pretty confident when he was high, but when he wasn’t, that confidence plummeted. He’s usually never turned down the attention of women before… but now that attention is the last thing he wants. 

Over their shoulders, he catches a glimpse of you again. Just seeing you makes his clenched fist loosen a little, especially when he sees you laughing at something that Bucky had said. He’s always loved the way you look when your laugh, the pure happiness that takes over your face. He stares at you for another few moments and then uses that time to continue to try and calm himself down. 

Despite the fact that you’re half way across the room, you’re helping him more than you know. 

––––

Watching Bob being flirted with all night was not a job for the weak – and you’d greatly over estimated your ability to deal with it.

You’d known what was happening almost instantly when you’d looked over and seen the group of girls giggling and getting a little too close to him. You hated that you felt relieved when you noticed that he wasn’t returning any of their advances.

You weren’t daft enough to think that you were the reason, but it made you feel good all the same. Just the thought that he mightn’t be interested in anyone at the moment was good enough for you – he’d been through so much in these last several months, you wouldn’t blame him if it were true.

Like Bucky had suggested, you spent most of the night hoping for the night to go quickly. There was only so much socialising one person could do, especially when they were out of their comfort zone, and you hit that point pretty quickly once Bucky had started introducing you to people he recognised from his time as a congressman. 

The worst part of the night was the fact that you had barely seen Bob at all. He’d spent most of the night being swept around the room by Val with Yelena, being introduced to everyone and barely even stopping for a break. The only contact you’d had with him since he’d been whisked away were brief moments of eye contact and shared smiled across the room.

It’s on the limo ride back to the Watch Tower that you finally get to talk to him again. Everyone else is either napping or not paying attention to the two of you, too exhausted from the night out, that you have no problem in shuffling over in your seat to get a little closer to him so no one overhears your conversation.

“So, our plan kinda backfired, huh?” You chuckle.

Bob looks over at you and laughs softly. “Yeah, it did.”

There had been no discussing what book you’d read next and absolutely no holding on tight to each other when you felt anxious. 

“Did you enjoy yourself, at least?” 

Bob scrunches up his nose a little and you can’t help but notice how adorable it makes him look. “I don’t remember much of it,” he admits. “I couldn’t think straight for a lot of it. Did you?”

It makes your heart hurt a little, hearing that he’d been so anxious that he couldn’t really remember any of the evening. It makes you even more mad at Valentina for subjecting him to all of that. It was going to result in him being utterly exhausted.

“I just missed you,” you admit – against your better judgement. It’s probably not the right thing to be saying to him, but it’s the truth. Your evening would have been better had he been in it.

“You did?” Bob raises his eyebrows, clearly a little surprised.

A thought enters his mind and he brushes it off instantly. Confess, his brain said. As if this was a good time to do it, in the middle of a limo packed full of all the other members of your team after a draining night out socialising – one that he’d likely be recovering from for at least a few days, judging by the exhaustion he could already feel creeping into his mind.

He shakes his head. This is not the time to tell you.

“I did,” you confirm. “I would’ve had a much better time discussing books in the corner with you rather than being introduced to all of the people Bucky knows in New York.”

Bob chuckles. “Okay, you make a fair point.”

By the time the limo stops at the Watch Tower, everyone in the car is either half asleep or dead on their feet. It’s late – almost 1 in the morning – and when you all reach the penthouse, everyone instantly disappears off to their bedrooms to recharge and sleep.

You and Bob walk side by side down the hallway before stopping outside of your bedroom doors, opposite each other. You rest your hand on the door handle of your room before turning to look at him. He looks exhausted, hair messier than it had been before you’d left, and his tie is crooked again. You smile as you notice it.

“Well, goodnight, Bob,” you murmur. “Sleep well, okay?”

Bob nods, but strangely he can’t find the words to say goodnight to you. It’s only when you turn around, putting your back to him, and start to turn your door handle that the words come – but not the ones he’d been meaning to say. 

“I like you,” Bob blurts out, and then immediately winces.

You turn around, your hand falling off the door handle and your eyes landing on him. Your heart starts to beat faster in your chest, though you refuse to get your hopes up. This isn’t a confession – just a tired man telling you he appreciates your friendship. “I like you too, Bob.” 

He sighs and squeezes his eyes shut. Just through your words he can tell that you didn’t understand him. “I don’t mean it that way. I mean that I like you more than a friend should.”

You’re pretty sure your heart stops beating. “You like me as more than a friend?” A best friend, your mind tries to finish it. Like a sister. Not in a romantic sense. Don’t get your hopes up.

“I couldn’t take my eyes off of you all night. I was introduced to so many people and I can’t even remember their names because I was too focused on looking at you over their shoulders.”

“You were?”

“I was.”

You squeeze your eyes shut and shake your head. This cannot be happening right now. Bob cannot be confessing to you in the hallway at 1 o’clock on a Sunday morning after you’d had to spend the whole night watching him from afar and wishing he was right beside you. You have to be dreaming. 

“I… I like you more than a friend should, too. Really.” The words aren’t hard for you to say because they’re the truth. Partially because you think you might be imagining everything.

Bob stares at you, dumbfounded. You aren’t just repeating his words back to him for the sake of it. You’re not doing it out of pity or fear of hurting his feelings. All he needs to know that is the look on your face. Your eyes tell him everything.

You’re suddenly hit with the urge to yawn and that simple thing rips you straight out of your dreamlike state and back to the present. You’re not actually dreaming. This is actually happening… but this is not the time to be making grand gestures of love. Not when both you and Bob are exhausted from the night out socialising. You don’t want to risk crossing any lines tonight.

“Listen, it’s late. I don’t think we should make any decisions without resting. We’re both exhausted. And it’ll be good to sleep on it,” you suggest. “We can sleep knowing that we like each other and when we’ve recharged our social batteries, we can look back at it with a fresh head.”

Bob nods. You’re right – of course you’re right. He is exhausted, so much so that he’s not even sure how he’s still conscious right now. Your timing was so off, he thinks, his brain starting to twist his thoughts, taking advantage of his exhaustion. You should’ve waited.

Unknowingly, he starts to twist his hands together in front of him – something he always tends to do when his head gets loud.

You notice, stepping forward and placing your hands on top of his. He stills instantly, looking up and meeting your eyes. The warmth of your skin on his instantly relaxes him and his heart stops racing so fast. You give his hands a gentle squeeze.

“Goodnight, Bob,” you say, voice soft.

He continues looking at you as you turn around and walk back across the hall to your room. You’re almost completely inside, about to shut the door behind you, when he finds his voice again.

“You looked beautiful tonight,” he calls out, being careful not to be too loud since the others are still in their rooms close by. 

You pause and meet his eyes. “Thank you, Bob.” 

“Goodnight, he hums, giving you a small smile.

 It takes all of his strength to not collapse back against the door to his own bedroom once you shut your door. His hands are still a little shaky, his breaths a little short, but despite the exhaustion and adrenaline running through his system, he can’t help the smile that makes its way onto his face. I like you more than a friend should. The two of you had never really been just friends. Deep down, Bob knew that.

No, he thinks, pushing back agains the parts of his brain that were still telling him that his timing had been off, that he should’ve waited, that maybe he shouldn’t have told you at all. My timing was perfect.