#is there anyone left following this blog? anyway here i am again

[asuyaka]

GUESS WHO'S CLASSES ARE FINALLY OVER GIRLIES💃💃

Damn, it's been a heck of a while since I last came back to this blog--

Anyways! I've been following the new JJK episodes(I am not fine and it's all Mahito's fault.), so to put a bandage on his gap in my chest, how about some reverse comfort shot for our boy Yuuji during the Shibuya arc? Heaven knows he's in need of it. The prompt would be that he's having the meltdown/panic attack after regaining control over his body after Sukuna raised hell on the city(along with all the memories that come with it) and his lover finds him crying on the ground and rushes to comfort him and ground him.

I just want my boy to get a hug goddamn it, Gege won't give him any breaks😭

- Sincerely, '🌈' Anon.

★ - 'm honestly haven't watched the new episode yet (prayin' s'the "I'm you." timeline !!) but, 100% agree! 'm boy needs a break !! (gege is cruel (；′⌒`) )

☆ - Itadori Yuuji x Reader!

♡ - 'm sososososo glad t'see you again 🌈 !! 've lowkey been burnin' out, but 'm glad you're here !! <;33 （〃｀ 3′〃）| listenin' to... Skyfall

Good God— you don't know how you're alive right now.

The stench of curses and blood permeated the air, dried blood from curse users and curses stuck your hair to your face; heavy breaths leaving your lips as you looked around for any familiar faces.

Shibuya is in shambles, nothing more and nothing less. Dead civilians and auxiliary managers litter the streets, and several cars and buildings are smashed and flipped on their sides.

"Fuck," you wheeze, holding onto the scar that stretches to two separate sides of your face.

Your ribs are most definitely bruised or broken— there's no doubt about it. Your ankle is a bit sprained and you can't hear anything from your left ear.

You're really looking for Yuuji, you're lovable, and sometimes (a lot of the time) oblivious boyfriend. It's a bit biased, you know. Though Yuuji is at the top of your priority list, you really just want to find anybody who came to Shibuya with Gojo.

An earth-shattering sound makes its way through your ear(s). You turn around sharply, staring in shock as a few inches away from your foot is completely gone.

There's a presence you've felt ever since you woke up and you more or less guessed it was Sukuna.

If you had moved one step ahead, you would've died by what you assumed was Sukuna's domain.

Sukuna.

Your eyes widen as they stare at the crater formed by the King of Curses' domain. There's no way people aren't dead.

Yuuji.

"Oh fuck, Yuuji?!" Your anxiety goes haywire as you force your body to move. Even though every bone in your body aches in pain, pushed to its limit and beyond during the plethora of curses you've fought, you move.

Your heartbeat accelerates as your breaths get shorter. As fast as you run around the perimeter of the crater, you still haven't found Yuuji. Yuuji and his boyish smile every time you get him a gift, Yuuji, and his airy laugh whenever he sees something that manages to get him just right.

Yuuji and, his adorable love for movies, Yuuji, and his bright demeanor, able to make almost anyone fall under his spell.

Yuuji, who you find scratching at the road with tears falling down his eyes, wailing about how he should be the one to die.

It's right then and there, that your heart breaks.

Forgetting about the pain in your body, you rush over to where Yuuji was a heavy exhale, tears brimming your eyes and throbbing pain coursing through your body.

He turns to look at you with eyes that don't look like your boy, that don't look like Yuuji. He looks as if he's seen a ghost —like he didn't expect someone he knew to still be alive.

"You're alive...?" His voice is hoarse like he's dehydrated. It's missing its usual animated tone, his normal light voice, and his smile — fuck his smile.

"Yuuji," You exhale. "Yuuji, you're alive, fuck— you're alive." You get closer, and your body finally collapses on you. You're able to feel the emotions you forced yourself to push down the minute you stepped into the veil encasing Shibuya.

The hurt when you saw people you hold near to your heart die in front of you, the pain every time you felt your bones cracking, or the feeling of your skin stretching to accommodate the wound that was bound to form a scar stretching across your face.

Yuuji backs away from you, his fingers leaving a bloody trail from where you found him scratching at the road. "No! Get away from me— I'll try and kill you too!"

He'll... try and kill you?

Yuuji hangs his head in his arms as he curls into himself, seemingly trying to make his body as small as normal. "I'm nothing but a murderer! No matter what I do— or what I try to do— I just," He interrupts himself with a hiccup, blood mixed with tears leaking from the bottom of his face.

"I can't help anybody! I killed innocent people, I shouldn't be allowed to live!"

Yuuji continues to cry, his bloody fingers gripping his now dirtied pink hair.

Gently, as to not make him pull away from you, your arms wrap around his body. He refuses, trashing in your hold as he begs for you to let go of him, to distance yourself from him in case Sukuna somehow manages to take control again.

"Yuuji." You say softly, letting your coarse arms run through his hair.

He doesn't respond. Though he isn't struggling to move, he still remains unresponsive. "Yuuji, you aren't a monster."

He shakes his head furiously. "I killed them with my own—"

"Sukuna killed them, not you." You mutter softly. Even though you don't know the whole story, you know Yuuji, your Yuuji, would never kill innocent people.

"Yuuji, you aren't a murderer. You aren't a murderer."

Yuuji sobs into your shoulder, his bloody fingers gripping tightly against your shirt. "I'm sorry— I'm sorry!"

You keep your voice soft, softly running through his hair and rubbing circles on his back as well. "It wasn't your fault, 's okay..."

You reassure him, keep telling him that he wasn't a murderer, that he wouldn't kill innocent people on purpose, and little by little you think he's believing you.

"We, we have to go find everyone else," Yuuji says. His voice is drier if that's possible and his eyes feel so sunken, they don't feel like Yuuji. You don't hold that against him, he just went through a traumatic experience and obviously he isn't going to be the same boy you're used to.

Your shoulder is wet, and Yuuji's blood is staining your back. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Yuuji nods. Though it doesn't feel all the way true, it doesn't feel fake either. You press a tiny peck on his cheek, showing him a smile to let him know that he isn't alone.

As long as you were there with him, he'll never be alone.

"Fushiguro is... is [Name] still alive?" Itadori asks, sitting across from Yuta, divided by their makeshift fireplace.

Fushiguro averts his eyes with a guilty look on his face as he shakes his head.

"Oh."

Itadori Yuuji is alone.

He's lost his best friend, Nobara, his mentor (practically his father), Nanamin, Todo lost his technique because of him, and now, he's lost the one person who he truly felt like he could fall back on.

The one person who saw him at his lowest, and somehow brought him back from that.

"Oh."

He's alone.

And he genuinely doesn't know how he can cope without the help of his lover, his [Name].

[vilz]

hello obviously there isn't anything i can really do to control this (unfortunately i deleted a bunch of posts BEFORE turning off reblogs on them) but i would prefer that people did not circulate my posts from this blog any more... i appreciate that people are kind to me about my art, but that is just my request i suppose. this blog is unprivated now, and if you'd like to see what is still up you can look at them here. my ask box is also open but i will not be making any art posts here from now on. here is a little preemptive faq:

why did you leave?

i didn't feel comfortable or happy posting on this blog any more!

do you still make art? do you post it somewhere else?

yes. but i've been pulling away from posting very much online, and the things i'm interested in drawing nowadays are generally more private, so i won't be directing anyone there or anything. i don't consider my new blog to be a continuation of this one.

i know your new blog!

that isn't really that surprising since i didn't honestly put great effort into concealing it or anything. we are probably not friends, so i hold no sway over you, but i would still prefer you did not share it or treat me as if i am still "vilz who posts fnaf art". i'm just a whatever blogger who blogs about whatever things. also to be frank i do not think my new blog has anything that interesting for people who followed for the kind of art i used to post here. this is not an invitation to say "it is interesting!".

we are friends!

if we have not been in direct, mutual conversations i highly doubt that. i'm sorry if that hurts anyone's feelings.

why did you delete all your self ship art?

people seem to enjoy my self ship art a lot, which is very flattering, but i don't want people to be looking at them any more. i realize that they are still rebloggable and are still circulating around, which is nobody's fault but my own, but i would prefer they were not shared any more. i can't really do anything about it and i also don't blame anyone for reblogging those posts since it's obviously not something they would know, but yeah.

i saw your art on pinterest!

i did not and do not consent to my works being put on pinterest. the art from "vilz" has not been uploaded by me to any other website besides tumblr. if someone is posting my art from here on a different platform, they are doing so without permission.

i saw you on magma!

i still join magma boards sometimes lol. it's a fun site.

what about your ocs?

they are still my ocs. sometimes i still draw them. currently, i do not have any plans of posting my oc art online ever again. i would prefer that people did not reblog the oc art i have posted to this blog.

what about your fics?

all of my fics are still up on ao3 anonymously. they are: small mercies obscura floriography baying of lambs scrape bitch, bastard, bullshit almost human a dream, recurring countdown i'm very flattered and happy that people have left kind comments on these. thank you very much for reading the words of an amateur and for sharing an experience with me.

are you going to finish your uncompleted fics?

i would really like to say yes, because i care a great deal about aspects of them, but it's looking pretty unlikely. i lost all my files (and my calmlywriter key !!! always save your emails and receipts, everyone!!!) and also it's hard to feel motivated about them now. i guess i will leave this up in the air just to soothe my own feelings but in reality the answer is Probably Not.

are you going to post new fics?

i might, because i've been in a writing mood lately, but please don't expect anything. if i do, they will be anonymous on ao3. i will not post about them here or on any other blog.

i really liked your posts and blog!

thank you. i'm glad that people could feel that way about the things i made and thought about stuff i care about. irregardless, i would prefer that people did not share my old posts from this blog.

i will do it anyway.

i cannot stop you, so there isn't really any point in pleading. i just thought i'd make a little info post for people who are inquiring. after this, there won't be any "posts" from me. if there are relevant questions or messages i might reply to them or just update this post.

thank you for reading and for enjoying my blog. goodbye !!!

[jimlingss]

two years!! :D it’s been two years since my final curtain call and seven years since Jimlingss began! Seven years!!! Now that’s a crazy yet meaningful number!

Hello to everyone reading this message :D hopefully you remember me (it’s ok if you don’t) and for those who care, hopefully this is a treat! just a quick update on my life — I successfully completed my first year of law school and what a whirlwind it’s been. 

I’ve had so many ups and downs in the past year and I honestly feel like I’ve changed a lot. like evolved from pichu to pikachu. It was my first time moving away from home, away from my parents, and making so many friends. it’s been 20% bitter and 80% sweet. overall, I feel like I’ve learnt so much about myself and became a lot more stable in who I am.

school is hard but completely manageable. luckily, I don’t think my choice was wrong. there are days I quite enjoy what I’m learning. I got 2 years left in the game. soon (hopefully) I’ll be making the big bucks $$$ and I’ll be able to fund my sugar baby dreams (except I’ll also be my own sugar mommy). Although my dating life is as stale as always with 0 movement, I’ve become close with a handful of folks that I hold dearly to my heart. guess I’m in my friendship arc hahahaha

funny enough, I actually came back to this blog out of my own volition 2 weeks ago and re-read some of my stories. I feel so nostalgic. some of my stories really slap ngl. anyway, I really miss creative writing so much. Fortunately, there’s a few extracurriculars at school that allow me to write creatively so it’s somewhat of an outlet for me. it’s not fully satisfying but it’s something!!

I regularly come back to tumblr to check messages and do plagiarism checks lol. Speaking of which, I’ll take this time to answer some messages in my inbox.

unfortunately, i don’t have any socials that anyone can follow me on. my socials are pretty private and only the people who i’m close to, I follow and vice versa. but no worries because I will always come back to this blog to do a yearly update so you’ll hear from me! I will satiate your curiosity if you’re every curious about what I’m up to!!

for anyone who ever messages me compliments to my stories and/or missing my presence, no worries, I read them all :) your messages and feedback is never lost! it’s very sweet and always warms my heart.

if you can’t reach my masterlist, it’s here lol

I’ve kind of fallen off my fic reading game so if you ask me if I know a specific fic, I won’t be much of help unfortunately ://

if my fics ever help you through hard times, then I’m super glad!!! life can undoubtably be downright terrible. life can really really suck (understatement). but I think it’s comforting to know that everyone at some point thinks the same. it’s a universal sentiment - and in that, you’re not alone.

anyway, that’s it for now! you’ll hear from me again!

I’ll be back! And I hope you will too! :>

[ryker-writes]

Taking a smol break

Hey guys, nothing big happening or anything here. I'm just going to be taking the next couple weeks to focus on school work since I have a lot to do! So I'll still be active but I won't be posting any new works of mine.

Don't fear, I'll be back around the 18th because classes will be over then! When I get back I have a short story to write, some requests, the next piece of Jaxon lore, and even an event around the 25th so stay tuned for those!

If anyone needs me, of course I'll still be online, I just won't be posting! Smol man needs smol break

But in the meantime you can check out my friends!

@theroseredreaper writes for TWST! Their requests are also open and they write really well! They're so nice to talk to and so fun! I platonically love Mimi like they're so sweet and understanding and we talk for so long about pokemon and stuff. Mimi even wrote me a comfort piece not to long ago and I go back and re-read their things because it's so good!

@starboyshoyo also writes for TWST but isn't taking requests right now but she has an event open with one slot left for a musical song with the TWST boys! Birdie has endured many of my Sebek rambles and encourages them +_+

@azulashengrottospiano requests aren't open right now but if you like Azul, silly random content, or the ikemen series, Auburn has got you covered! Auburn is so sweet and so cool! I love to read her rambles about random things and it's so fun to see all the interactions! Auburn is also the (what I call) fish wizard. She knows so much about the ocean and sea life and you can ask about a specific species and Auburn will fill you in on it and it's so cool

@pyroxeene isn't taking requests right now but she's so lovely to talk to and she writes Honkai Star Rail content right now! She's such a talented writer like a role model to me and honestly the main character in life

@leonistic is super cool! Also probably the biggest Leona fan out there but so understandable. Soru is very nice and even has an event going on right now! But please be mindful and don't spam them with requests for the event! You'll never understand my hype when they followed me back-

@paraccosm is super nice! If you like the spiderverse, she's a wonderful writer who's also taking requests for the spiderverse! She's seriously so sweet and it makes me sad that I don't know the spiderverse stuff so I can't request, but I'll be like the supportive father that doesn't understand a thing but is cheering you on anyway!

@minimallyminnie deserves. more. support. and. appreciation. Seriously they're so kind and supportive of me and my oc Jaxon and there's no words to express how grateful I am to them. They write things so beautifully and are very underappreciated. While their requests are closed, feel free to check them out and explore their blog! Fuyuki belongs to them too!

@spritofthesea is so fun! They have lots of ocs and you may recognize Akuji and Karrigan because they belong to them! While they have a separate blog for their TWST things, they also like One Piece, so if that's for you then feel free to check them out!

@l1ttleclouds my platonic husband <3. He may be a bit busy because he has a beautiful newborn daughter (Congratulations again!), but he takes requests for moodboards and aesthetic boards and they're +_+ so good! He's done a few for me for Silver, Sebek, Mammon, and even my style! He's also the first friend I made on here and I'm so grateful to him!

@officialdaydreamer00 is so cool! Irene currently has an event going on where you can request a drawing of your oc and a TWST boy dancing and it's so cool and their art is so good! Their ocs are so cool too and the lore is scrumptious! Irene is so nice tho

@rose-the-witch1 is so fun and nice! While requests are closed, she posts really cool content and she knows a bunch of anime things! Rosie is a Lilia lover so if you want to share thoughts on Lilia, feel free!

@it-happened-one-fic is such a good writer and so nice like ;-; how? She's super cool and all her works are so good I definitely recommend checking them out! She writes for Genshin Impact and Twisted Wonderland and they're all so good that I just eat up every fic

@thebettybook we don't really interact on Tumblr but she is so nice! She's great at giving writing advice and has delicious writing for TWST, Transformers, and the spiderverse too! The strawberry theme is so cute too!

@animusicnerd is so cool! Ryker approved cool kid right here like omg I'm friends with a cool kid?? She's always so nice and chill to talk to and in a lot of different fandoms like TWST, spider-man, Haikyuu, and Ensemble Stars! We don't interact much on Tumblr but she's super chill and I will be going through her masterlist and rebloging/liking everything later because yummy content-

@xxheartspadexx is such another cool kid! How am I friends with so many cool kids? IDK. Anyway Spade is so nice and cool and involved in a lot of different fandoms. She helped guide me in Honkai Star Rail and I won't forget it also she's really good at drawing +_+

@xxoomiii so nice and a lot like me! They're also friends with Auburn and have been a supporter of mine for so long! I'm so grateful and I still have your request I have to write but I'm sorry it's taking so long! You're super cool though!

Oh my gosh I have a lot more friends than I thought and this somehow turned into an appreciation post for my friends so

A quick message to all my friends: Sorry to bother you with the notification but I appreciate all of you so much like you have no idea and you're all so cool and fun to talk to and kjasbdkajbjk how did you all become my friends??? This smol man doesn't understand but I'm so grateful anyway-

[mdhwrites]

Okay, Let’s Eviscerate Luz’s Nightmare

I REALLY like dream sequences and false reality. I think there’s a lot that can be done with it that creatively is admittedly hard to do. It’s why I wanted to do a Jumbled Thoughts on it. The format for Jumbled Thoughts is to be approachable to those who aren’t familiar with the work being used as an example though and genuinely are just for teaching.

I am still genuinely upset though that the show had such little of a fucking clue what to do about wrapping itself up that it wastes the FIRST SEVEN MINUTES OF ITS FINALE. So this is just going to be me ranting more about why this sequence is bad but with more specifics to TOH. Specifically starting with: Even if it were good... It’d be rendering the two specials before it pointless. As far as characters go, especially ones the writers care about, the last two specials have been entirely about Luz’s self hate. I don’t think it’s done well mind you, it leads to character assassination for her and a finish that is laughable at best in context with the rest of the show, but that is the point of the two specials. Luz’s guilt over Belos. In special 1, it’s about how deep her self hate runs and the ‘sacrifices’ she’s willing to make to ‘make up for it’. As anyone familiar with this blog knows, I see what Luz does much more as “Oh, I can’t easily fix this? Fuck it then. Let them all burn.” But the writers think otherwise despite Luz’s actions. Special 2 is about Luz finally coming to terms with this and realizing she doesn’t have to give a fuck because she is the most special thing on the planet and everyone should understand that.

So we had a resolution. It led directly to Stringbean existing because she suddenly had clarity of purpose and shed that which was holding her back. But... This sequence HINGES on the idea that Luz isn’t past that stuff. Frankly, it would have made a MUCH better opener to the second episode where the Collector grabs them IMMEDIATELY. Not only would the transition be less awkward because... Oh my god the finale starts in just a terrible fucking way that despite following up literally where the last episode left off, feels like a “Here’s what you missed on the last episode of The Owl House!” That may be because I still haven’t watched the majority of S3. You can thank my Discord for me watching these seven minutes.

Anyways, not only would the portal act as a good, disorienting transition to make the audience think something went wrong with it instead of everyone immediately just knowing it’s a dream because... Duh, it also would have meant that Luz would be attacked by her friends when emotionally she was the most vulnerable. She doesn’t think her going back is a good idea after all. If the first thing she remembers post going through the portal is this nightmare where the whole is vacant and dead except for those she just brought to it... That would have actually had literally any reason to work. The words would cut much deeper because they are genuinely what she’s thinking. Instead... It feels like the main character’s character arc gets unearthed again for a shitty dream sequence. WHAT!?

And I want to make this clear: It’s BAD. It’s bad even compared to other bad dream sequences. At least most have the dignity to be like Zuko’s fever dream where it’s literally just a shocking moment and move on. But like... How shocking is anything in this sequence? Amity and Willow get out attacks I guess but otherwise the imagery is REALLY tame and the impossible space stuff is as basic as it comes. Otherwise, everyone is saying really blunt, obviously not them lines so you can’t really invest in what they’re saying. It only cuts (because I’ll admit it got an emotional rise out of me) because what is being said is so cruel. They’re lines that if they were true to the characters’ views AT ALL, then they’d be really powerful.

But they’re not. Most of them are just based on “YOU DESTROYED OUR WORLD!” a concept all of them immediately forgave, or just ignored, the second it was brought up to them. None of them care and have made that clear to Luz and Luz isn’t in a part of even her grief cycle to still be telling herself lies about this being the real truth that her friends are just hiding from her. It’s not helped by the fact that it’s the same bullshit we’ve been hearing from Luz already so even if it were actually Luz, it wouldn’t be new insight, just like how “Willow represses anger” isn’t a new insight in Understanding Willow (another really boring episode in terms of a mentalscape frankly.) The only person who MAYBE has their real feelings here is Hunter but he’s just stating a problem I have in general with Flapjack’s death. Why DID Luz get a palisman while Hunter’s had to die? What was the point? You know, besides cheap shock and giving Hunter magic so you didn’t have to worry about him having a staff anymore.

The resolution is also dogshit to me and way more twee than The Owl House ever does which makes what would be groan worthy in a different kid’s cartoon just pure cringe in the worst ways here. “What do you do after a bad dream? Turn on a light.” So... If Luz had cast a light spell while fighting them, would the whole thing have vanished regardless? Usually the fight for getting out of a dreamscape is one of the most compelling elements. What makes the hero hesitate, what sets them off for this being wrong, etc. like that. It’s part of what makes Superman still comforting his dream son so powerful because despite him not existing... Superman still cares. Because that is the core of Superman. ALL living beings matter to him.

This says fuck and all about Luz except that she’s a gatekeeping bitch of a nerd. Despite being in tears, for almost no reasons since the show does not sell that she actually thinks this is real (and again, from a narrative standpoint it makes the second special feel even more pointless if these words still effect her. NARRATIVE PAYOFF! LEARN WHAT IT IS!), she still immediately catches the mistake and bounces back to 100%. It’s... Honestly embarrassing from a writing standpoint. It says so many terrible things about Luz while also not saying much interesting. Yeah, Azura apparently really is that big to her that even during a breakdown with her friends, all it takes is her gatekeeper and continuity senses to go off to get her to write them all off. What would happen if Amity had to just admit it’d been a year since she read the book and just got the reference wrong?

As a note, the moment of Luz touching Amity’s face was the only clip of this sequence I’d seen before last night. Even then, I knew something was fucked here. Luz playing with Amity’s face feels like when a player character in a story about a game suddenly gains sentience. The other NPCs literally can’t process what they’re doing so Luz gets to just play with this Amity toy who should ostensibly be trying to kill her but has enough honor to wait for Luz to arm herself apparently.

Then the REST OF THEM WAKE UP. WHY!? WHY ARE THEY ACTUALLY ABLE TO EFFECT THIS!? Also... Does that mean Amity just got the reference wrong? Or did she do it on purpose? Why could she give Luz a glyph to cast? Why do they have that much power here? It’s just such a dumb twist that exists only to get the stupid line out of Hunter while he still sounds like he’s under mind control because of how unnatural the delivery of the advice is.

And this also of course means that Luz gets out without effort. Without anything. I’ve seen people call this trailer bait and I really just can’t blame them for it. It’s seven minutes of trailer bait though. Of an episode that’s only 52 minutes long and has two villains to actually take out still. That... Why? Why is that how you decided to start your finale.

It also brings the comparisons people would make between Marcy and Luz right to the forefront. Marcy had a dream sequence after all. Its imagery was more fun though and had more of a point and was HEARTBREAKING in that by being so idealic... That’s how Marcy knew it was fake. That one moment tells us SO MUCH of how she saw her role in the trio that we didn’t really know before. And the fact that she stayed trapped, having to hope others, others she thinks don’t care about her, will come save her makes it all a fucking tragedy. It’s really powerful and would not have been half as effective without being a dream sequence of sorts.

And as always... When TOH does something like Amphibia, it copies the really shallow, loud parts without understanding why Amphibia was doing it the way it did it. It makes the show look like a joke in comparison.

Which is why I’m not actually surprised people haven’t asked me about this sequence. It’s bad. It’s REALLY bad, which is probably why most people even on Twitter don’t talk about it. Not when you have the deux ex machina to gush over close to it. It’s bad in all the ways that you expect a dream sequence to be bad. It’s there for shock, it says very little about the characters and you could cut it and lose almost nothing, if just nothing. If I didn’t like dream sequences, I wouldn’t have anything to talk about here.

It makes it ‘of a kind’ which is why I used it to teach. And... Being ‘of a kind’ for being bad, especially when it actively goes against the character growth you’ve been doing... Well, it’s one of the few times I would say “I could have written this better.” Mostly because as a director I would have looked at whoever pitched the idea and gone “We have a godlike child who likes to play games. Come up with an actual fucking GAME instead of this cheating bullshit.”

Because like Luz looking beat up at the beginning of Yesterday’s Lie, it’s all just writing cheats and excuses. Just this time no one bought because why would they? Most audiences expect a dream sequence to be bad so seeing it was all a lie for baiting the audience... Well, at least for once TOH didn’t try to subvert a fantasy trope, did they?

*sigh*

==========

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead, If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

i keep telling myself to quit checking up on KM spaces cause there’s literally nothing but bickering and going out of the way to find things to be mad at but I keep ending up coming back 😓 it’s so hard, I still think about them a lot and I generally enjoy doing so! They make me happy to think about, genuinely. it’s been a force of habit for so long but the vibe with no new content (I try and avoid military updates but they waft into my view every so often and I’m glad they seem to be doing ok at least) is just so nasty it’s just like can’t everyone just relax and be happy knowing they’re together??? Obviously I am the problem here and I need to stop but it’s a struggle….do I need to just go completely cold turkey on bangtan? 😂 is that what you did when you took a long break? It’s not like I don’t have hobbies and a job and stuff, but for a long time they’ve occupied a special nice place where I just think of them and generally enjoy reading people’s thoughts about them, but over the past year especially w the solo stuff it’s just gotten kinda rancid

Hello, anon

I understand you completely. If something has become part of your daily routine, on top of other activities and interests, it's normal to get the urge to check up on it. Cold turkey might not help because it increases the chances of going back to it. I'm going through the same thing nowadays. I'm aware that right now, there's barely any point in keeping up with that part of my interests online. KM have enlisted and despite seeing some military updates, I'm not excitedly/anxiously looking forward to it. Like you, I think it's nice to see that they appear fine, but personally I could live without those updates as well. Consequently, I barely discuss it even on my blog, I don't find it necessary.

Most likely, the upcoming show will be the only relevant content that makes me still keep an eye on them right now and that's because the announcement might drop at any time. By not knowing exactly when, it's enough to keep at least a part of the fandom waiting and participating online. Not a bad strategy, but a frustrating one for us.

Likewise, by still checking up tumblr/twitter, I'm also exposing myself to daily fights, endless debates on relationship dynamics and so on. I find it pointless and I'd say a sign of boredom if this wasn't the modus operandi of the fandom anyway.

I made a vague comment recently, but it is terribly annoying having to read left and right troll anons baiting bloggers who then are bringing receipts to demonstrate that KM are close. Really? We're still doing that in 2024? People are talking in circles to demonstrate something that doesn't need more proving. Twitter is worse because they fight like idiots under the guise of defending. The knights in shining armour fighting for the princesses.

As to solo stans, I don't have an issue with the idea of only liking an artist and that's it. If only that would be the full definition. Anyone acting like not only a fanatic, but writing like some miserable 4chan user is someone I really can't stand. It's slowly becoming standard stan behavior and I see this in other fandoms as well, including those of western artists. It's nasty and embarassing.

When I took a break, I unfollowed almost all KM and JM focused accounts. The ones remaining I muted so I had to go to my following list and check each individually if I wanted to see what was up. My point was to not have any of that on my timeline. I think it worked for a while. Now I'm back to how it was before and I don't know how that happened. I should make some changes again.

[suratan-zir]

(ts2) gameplay sideblog

yeah I know what you're thinking, how many sideblogs does one person need? Hopefully this is the last one. As I've said before, I am not planning to post any sims content on my main blog in the foreseeable future. I would say "untill the end of the war", but it is unclear what will end first, this war or me. I would bet on the latter.

So anyway, I want to post gameplay now that I seem to be getting into the sims again. And to be honest, I'm just really lonely. Lately more than ever. I miss being a part of the fandom. Even though I'm not talking much to anyone here nowadays, just posting pictures of my pixel people fills up my "social need bar", if you will.

Here it is: @suratanontherun

There will be only gameplay and nothing else. Custom content stays on suratan-cc. And this main blog remains reserved for meltdowns and oversharing. I honestly don't know how it still has any followers left, but thank you for being here ❤

[abovetherainandroses]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Storm here! 🌩 Tysm for the tag @27-royal-teas! <3 I haven't done a tumblr meme thing in forever! And I don't really have any friends on this blog so I don't have anyone to tag, but if you're a writer who follows me, consider yourself tagged! (And also come be my friend)

This got long! I talk too much! Answers are below the cut!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

So I have two accounts lol, because for some reason I decided to make a separate RPF account even though I have other embarrassing things on main account anyway?? Anyway, I currently have 100 fics on my main and 5 on my RPF account.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Across both accounts, 379,693 words for an average of 3.6k per fic. Longfic? I don't know her.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I usually write for one fandom at a time, but I will revisit/cycle through fandoms. Currently it's Fall Out Boy. Previously, I was writing some MCU stuff (mostly Spider-Man). Also wrote a handful of Good Omens stuff back when S1 came out. I have the most fics posted for Haikyuu (volleyball manga/anime) lol.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Oops I only have 5 fics so far on my RPF account and I'm still debating whether I want this account directly linked to my main.

But I will take this opportunity to tell anyone who needs it not to put too much stock into kudos!! Kudos count relies on a lot of factors, but a big two are fandom/ship size and when you post the fic relative to the height of the fandom's activity. (Getting in early with a fic right after a new movie/season/etc. comes out so you're one of the first fics for the New Thing can be huge too.)

External validation is obviously very nice but if you rely too much on it, you're not gonna have a good time.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Comments make my entire life and I always want to respond to them, but I inevitably fall off because the brain energy isn't there, and I keep putting it off, and putting it off, and putting it off, and then it feels too late. But seeing as I only have 5 fics on my RPF account, I recently went and responded to everything, even if it was years late. In the past few weeks I've actually gotten responses to some comments I left on fics like 3 years ago so it inspired me, haha.

I myself am not always good at leaving comments (continuous goal to get better at it), so I really appreciate the people who take the time to leave kind comments for me and I want to express that appreciation.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't usually write angsty fic... I'm too softhearted. That said, I have made a few forays into angst, but Your Mileage May Vary on which one is the angstiest. Is it the major character death? Is it the one where they're soulmates with the last words they'll say to each other written on their skin, and in the end it's not death that separates them, but their own inability to have a functional relationship with each other?

Or is it the one I didn't even think was super angsty and tagged "bittersweet ending" but then it made a bunch of people cry? I'm still like "...my bad" about that one lmao.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Fluff is my lifeblood and almost all of my fics have a happy ending. I couldn't tell you which was the happiest, haha. Again, I'm incredibly softhearted, and also a big sap. I cannot deny this!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thinking very hard... I have been posting fic for............. several years so it is possible I am forgetting something but nothing comes to mind! I have always felt too relatively unknown for haters, which is just fine by me.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

"What kind" lol. What does that even mean. Listen, my kink is holding hands during sex and being ❤️ in love ❤️ (I mentioned I'm a softhearted sap, right??)

Sometimes I might explore some light kink but nothing too hardcore imo.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Again, I've been writing/posting fic for several years, so I could be forgetting something, but I don't remember ever writing a true crossover. Though in my personal definition of fandom terms, crossover = characters from fandom A meet characters from fandom B. I have written a few fusion AUs in my time (characters from fandom A existing in the world of fandom B), which you could say falls under the crossover umbrella. For example, I've written Kingdom Hearts characters in a Pacific Rim AU and Haikyuu characters in Dragon Age AU.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. Though I did once see (this was a SUPER long time ago) someone repost my fic on tumblr the same day I posted it on FFN, even though I also posted the full text of the fic on tumblr myself. They credited my FFN account, at least, but like. Hey. Don't do that.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, I've had some fics translated into various languages! It's definitely an honor that people want to share some of my stuff in other languages and take the time to do that translation work. I try to ask people keep translations on AO3 but it hasn't always succeeded so there are some translations of my works floating around on foreign language fic sites... Ah well.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I successfully co-wrote one (1) fic with one of my friends years ago. I've tried a few other times to co-write fics (including with the same person) but none of them ever finished... Co-writing fic is hard! Idk how to do it effectively. I've done a handful of fic/art collabs with my wife though!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I don't know that I have a single all-time favorite ship, but Peterick is definitely the current fave. I........ adore them. So much.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Listen, I am a hoarder of WIPs and a clinger to delusions that they will one day be finished. But okay, one of my peterick WIPs from 2016-2017 that I really liked but highly doubt I'll ever finish is a no-band, dating show AU where Pete is the eligible bachelor on a queer offshoot of the Bachelor/Bachelorette and Patrick (through machinations by Joe) ends up as a contestant on the show. Patrick is camera shy and does not want to be there, but he made a deal with Joe to stay til he was eliminated. Pete, who just went through a public and messy divorce with Ashlee, does not want to be there, but he was guilt-tripped into using his moderate fame to help bring viewership to the underfunded little queer show.

Pete finds out Patrick never wanted to be there in the first place and offers to eliminate Patrick. I will copy/paste the next bit from my gdoc:

"[...] pete’s like what if…i didn’t eliminate you and we just stayed friends and hung out and stuff and patrick finds himself agreeing bc pete’s a really nice dude and they have a lot of interests in common

But then Patrick keeps sticking around through the weeks and Patrick and Pete fall in love and both end up having separate private crises because they agreed to be friends. Patrick sees Pete spending time with other candidates and clearly being attracted to them and it sucks because now Patrick is in love with Pete and Pete isn’t considering him at all. Meanwhile Pete is having a good time with the other candidates and sure there’s lust there and even some like but he can’t stop thinking about how perfect Patrick is for him except for oh wait Patrick doesn’t even want to BE here and Pete was the one who convinced him to stay and now he’s fucking in love with him."

Blah blah blah, stuff happens, Pete eliminates Patrick in the last few weeks then when he has to make the choice between the final two candidates, calls Patrick and confesses to him instead, blah blah blah, happy ending.

Anyway. I wrote 11k of that fic and I was about 1/3 of the way through. It will never be finished. But now I've told you all about it and that's good enough, right?

16. What are your writing strengths?

Internal narration and emotions. Tightly focused fics that span 1-3 scenes. Spelling and grammar.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Longfic or fic with several scenes that take place over an extended stretch of time. Related to that, coming up with external plot events rather than just internal conflict HAHA. Describing the setting/environment so the characters don't just exist in a nebulous empty space.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

As with most of my preferences re: fic, it depends on the execution. It can feel clunky and maybe even cringey, or it can feel natural and realistic. Just be intentional about how you're using it. Also, it always helps if you know a fluent speaker who can review it for you but understandably you may not always have someone like that.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Warrior... cats...

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

This is impossible to answer hahahaha. Certainly if we look at my main AO3. But if we're looking at my grand total of 5 (as of yet) RPF fics, I can say that I'm still quite fond of get us right (quitters never win), a fob AU fic where everything is the same but they all have minor superpowers, featuring empath!Patrick and telepath!Pete.

Aaaaand we are done! If you got this far, I am giving you cookies.

[cajunfoxnight]

Where to go from here?

OH HEY ITS BEEN A REAL HOT MINUTE SINCE I TALKED ON HERE. And oh boy do I have... thoughts. :T Mostly regarding my blog, Ask October Fox. There is a lot to read here..

Wow ok so.. this is a post that I have been putting off pretty much all year long. It was one of those “I will cross that bridge when I get there” and oh boy, wouldnt you know it.. there’s the bridge. I had wanted to make this sooner but for some reason my brain just wouldnt let me. Im posting this here first since I think about 90% of people who follow October, follow me here too, so this seems like where I might reach the most people but I will also reblog this on her blog as well. I have just been trying to gather my thoughts, but it feels like every time I do, I just end up with a scattered mess trying to explain myself. Id like to keep this short but.. well thats not going to happen, i’ll try tho So... to be upfront with a somewhat TLDR, I dont know how much more I will be running my ask blog. This doesnt mean October herself is going anywhere, she’ll still be around, I just dont know if it will be here. Its a bit of a complicated matter, and one that I have been struggling with since the beginning of the year. My main problem is that I dont know if I can physically keep doing it. I know I had mentioned last year about the amount of pain I was in with my old tablet and how hard it was getting to draw. But on the plus side, since getting a monitor tablet, a new desk and set up, those problems have gotten significantly better. Every so often they might flare up, but with regular breaks, slightly more structured schedule, and daily exercising, its few and far between. So on that front im good! I still dont want to risk getting hurt again, which is why im just unsure if I can put that kind of strain on myself again.. and it doesnt help that I feel like im drawing slower than I used to, tho that could just be me. Secondly, is.. is there anyone here anymore? I used to check Tumblr every day, multiple times a day, and then I just... left for like 3 months bc it felt like hardly anyone was here anymore (another reason why I didnt make this post sooner. I have avoidance issues.). I feel like I might have joined Tumblr around its peak, just before The Ban™️ came down and most people- rightfully- left. October’s story is finally starting to come to light and while it was something I have been planning for a while now, the big story isnt something that I want to do to an empty audience, if that makes any sense. And thats on me, really. I waited too long. Thirdly, there were/are certain things that needed to happen before I could tell that story- and sadly I feel as tho I am missing a big key factor that is needed to link the story to the next part. But without that key factor...I feel like Id to have to retcon the entire story. Not that that in itself is a terrible thing, the story has been ever changing for a while now, but this had been one of the main things I had planned for a long time now. Not to mention I still want to tell stories of some of the other characters. There are a few more personal reasons, but these are just the main ones. Im just.. not sure what to do anymore. I would still like October to continue to interact with people, that is something that I have greatly enjoyed in the past couple of years with the quick replies, and thats what she was meant to be all about for the most part. Im planning on having October doing stuff outside of this blog this year- lots of ideas planned, like streaming art and maybe some games- but as far as the nightly comics.. eehh... So I guess my question is this.. would people rather I just tell them the rest of the story, or would people rather I still try and draw it out, tho more like a graphic novel style and not in a full comic form? Tho again going back to the the third section, I still have to figure out how that would play out anyway. I hate to say how much this has been stressing me out, and how much I am upset with myself over how things have played out. Many things I probably should have done differently but now im just going to have to roll with it. As mentioned the story, October, and the characters arent going anywhere. There are still stories and characters to be talked about, I just dont know how or where that will be.  There is a lot more than I could go on about but for now I think its best to end this rambling here. Once I get some input or answers then I will move onto the next step. I apologize for the massive wall of text here, and for anyone who read all of it, I cant thank you enough for that. For now I will continue to work on the planned projects, as I still have a little time to finish those things up, but wow.. September is sure moving a lot faster than I would like :T

[glimvinty]

Introducing...meeeeee (tap for better quality)

Currently my only really officially posted writing:

^A brief chronicling of a single night spent at a motel in Arizona. Two normal men---Specter, an imperialist, and Tenebri, a socialist---are on a road trip.

Call me Glim! As I type this I am entering one of those identity pits where I can't remember anything about myself. Uhhhhhhh. I'm going to drink some water to escape the event horizon

Worked! I'm restored!

So what am I here for?

The Wip

Well, this is primarily an art blog where I post about the WIP to end all other WIPs, my magnum opus, my disaster child, my manuscript which is steadily gaining on War and Peace's word count and is currently over 1,000 pages long. Yes, it will be adjusted. Yes, I will have to read the whole thing over again. Because I am a little pitiable, I will be posting art of the characters, snippets of my writing, and some lore! Yes, I do fully intend to publish this. It's been 7+ years in the making.

So what's this WIP about, and dear lord?

It's one of those getting-lost-in-another-world adventure stories, but with several twists and a significant spin on it. It's Wizard of Oz, Alice in Wonderland, Discworld, and Hitchhiker's all put in a blender. If that sounds horrible, imagine writing it! It follows the protagonist Mallory Noire, who is absolutely nobody and fairly rational, as she dodges cults worshipping eldritch horrors, deftly evades transdimensional fascist regimes, eludes the wizard bureaucracy, befriends mad scientists and attempts to survive a whole slew of other...improbable things. Its most major genres are horror, comedy, and surreal fantasy. I'll tag any posts related to it #misticity.

About Me, a Factor of Production!

I have a condition called anisocoria, and basically I'm blind in one eye! I have no idea what I'm missing though, so it's all good, and David Bowie has the same condition, although I was born with mine and he got punched in the face

I'm trans masc and I'm here to support you as well (all queer people)!

I most likely have Asperger's, as my father had it (formally diagnosed) and I display symptoms, but I have never been formally diagnosed myself

I lived in Germany for a year and can speak (abysmal) conversational German, but my native language is English

What Fandoms Am I In/Can You Talk to Me About?

Twin Peaks

Mob Psycho 100

Discworld

Good Omens

Control

RDR

Night Vale

The Magnus Archives

HLVRAI

Hitchhiker's Guide (is anyone out there?)

Any bad old movies. Any of them. I love those and I'm fairly well-versed

What Should You Ask Me About?

Anything, really. If you have any questions about the WIP, just shoot. I've left it pretty vague.

I also want to make this corner of the Internet into a safe place, and a safe place for other people, so if you're ever in need of an encouraging word or two I'm here! I get the feeling often, so I want to be here for people who feel the way I do.

The Just-in-Case Note

Feel free to correct me if I say something dumb or off. I want to stay openminded and learn from my mistakes.

Anyway, keep it shlunky

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

No Good

Summary: Based on the song You Know I’m No Good by Amy Winehouse

Word Count: 1657 words

Pairings: Jay White x Reader x David Finlay

UNEDITED (Wrote as the sudden inspiration hit me so ignore whatever mistakes you find)

Tag: @theworldofotps , @writtingrose , @letsgivethisonemoreshot , @aerynscrichton , @daddyhausen , @damnnhausen , @starwithaheart, @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin , @sophiewolfheart-blog , @sultryfandoms , @new-zealand-chic , @crowleysqueenofhell , @thealliasylum , @legit9thlunaticwarrior , @baysexuality , @josiewrites , @seeingstarks , @sldghmmr , @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch , @whenimakeitshine1234 , @blaquekittycat

Meet you downstairs in the bar and hurt

Your rolled up sleeves in your skull T-shirt

You say "what did you do with him today?"

And sniffed me out like I was Tanqueray…

Five fingers wrapped around her upper arm, pulling her towards the dark corner of the bar as soon as she got in. The loud thumping of boots followed his footsteps, and the people stopped to stare at them as they walked by. Listening to him curse through gritted teeth while she only smirked and giggled.

Her back met the cool concrete when Jay pushed her towards the wall. “Where the fuck were you, huh? I've been waiting for over two hours!”

She blew a strand of hair out of her face before answering with boredom “Busy”

“Busy?” His voice dripped with venom and a feeling of rage instilled in him with her unfazed behavior “You were with him, weren’t you?” Jay shook his head vehemently “Here I am, waiting for you while you were too busy fucking him! You fucking cunt, I can smell him on you, you make me sick!”

“Then I guess I should just go back to David then. He didn’t want me to leave in the first place anyway” She shrugged and dared to take a step away from him, which only made Jay growl before pushing her back towards the wall, trapping her there with his body.

“You’re not going anywhere! Let alone back to that prick.”

…’Cause you’re my fella, my guy…

Jay towered over her, thick knuckles brushing her hair away from her eyes, gray orbs stared down at her, searching for something. The pad of his left thumb brushed across her plump lower lip as his forehead pressed against hers “Don’t you think this is enough, huh? You’ve had your revenge, I’ve learned my lesson, I’m not seeing anyone on the side and you know that. You have access to everything: my social media, texts, e-mails…Why don’t we stop this?”.

Easier said than done, though. At least to him. When she first found out he was cheating on her, her world collapsed. It became even worse when she learned that everyone knew except for her. Besides their relationship, Jay had two other girls - and one of them was currently pregnant.

Both women broke up with him the minute they found out they were not as exclusive as they thought but she, on the other hand, couldn’t. Learning that Jay didn’t care about her - or anyone else’s - feelings had her wondering who she was having a relationship with for over three years.

She knew the wise thing to do would be to leave him and move on with her life, but the problem is, she wasn’t someone that got hurt and moved on, no. She wanted to inflict pain back as much as she could! That’s why when David asked her out on a date - even though he knew who her boyfriend was - she immediately agreed.

And that’s how it all began, she started to cheat on Jay with David as a payback and Jay stopped cheating because he wanted her to stop screwing David.

If only things were that easy…But they aren’t. In the meantime - during their payback - her and David developed true feelings towards each other. Feelings that went beyond the will of hurting Jay White. And Jay found out that he - shockingly - actually loved her and wanted to be with her.

So this was the problem now: Her and David’s payback backfired and Jay was willing to put up with anything she sent his way to prove himself worthy of having her trust again.

…I cheated myself

Like I knew I would

I told you I was trouble

You know that I’m no good…

“Why don’t we stop this?” She laughed at his words “Why? Because you’ve had enough? Because you’re the hurt one now? I already told you, Jay. If you’re not happy with it, then leave. Let’s break up!”

“I’m not leaving you! You know that I love you and only you, honeybee” His lips brushed against hers, instantly tasting David’s spearmint gum on her flesh.

There was a time where the only thing she’d like to hear from Jay was a simple “I love you” or “I’m sorry”. But nowadays, such words have no effect on her heart anymore. No matter how real they actually were, she was afraid she simply didn’t care any longer. Not after everything he did.

“Stop it” She pulled her face away from his grasp and her palms pressed against his chest, slightly pushing him back.

“What’s wrong? Don’t you want me anymore?” Jay’s voice was filled with desperation as he tried to cup her face again “You still love me, right? Look at me, honeybee”.

…You say, "When we married"

'Cause you're not bitter

"There'll be none of him no more"...

As she stared up at Jay, her mind took her back to that afternoon in David’s hotel room. His fingers traced lazy letters on her skin, from her ribs to her hips. When she paid enough attention, she realized he was writing his name on her skin. “What are you doing?” She giggled. The small sound earned her a full smile from David “I’m marking you as mine, sparkles”.

The sweet nickname made her laugh “Why do you call me that?”

“Sparkles?” He asked and she nodded. “Well, because that’s what you are. You’re like a bright sparkle that lights up my life. It doesn’t matter if I’m having a bad day or feeling unhappy, the minute I see you and you smile at me, you make all the darkness and sadness go away. You’re like my own personal little lightbulb” David teased her with a soft tickle and she squealed before laughing loudly.

“I wish I could stay here with you all night long” She whispered against his shoulder as he played with her hair.

“And you can! All you have to do is lay down here with me until the sun comes up” David pulled her closer to his embrace

“I can’t. I have to meet up with Jay at a bar downtown”

David’s expression grew serious before he said “Can I ask you something? But I need you to be honest with me”

“Sure”

He changed his position so he was now laying on his side, looking into her eyes “Why do you keep doing this? Who are you trying to fool? You know that you’re hurting you and myself in the process, right? Not just Jay”.

“I’m sorry” Her voice was filled with guilt and shame

“I don’t want you to apologize, sparkles. I want you to realize the proportion that this whole thing is taking. Look” David caressed her cheeks with his knuckles “I love you and I understand if you still love Jay, but if you’re still doing this out of spite, I’d advise you against it because it’s starting to affect us too. I get that what he did to you was horrible and I understand why you wanted to make him get a taste of his own medicine, but the only thing I’ll ask you is this: if you don’t love him anymore, if you’re still with him just to see him suffer. Try to think if it’s worth it. Is it worth wasting your time with someone who made you feel like shit? Or would you rather spend time with someone who treats you well? Someone who wants nothing more than to spend the rest of their lives with you?”

…I told you I was trouble

You know that I’m no good…

“Honeybee?” Jay called, bringing her mind back to the present. Her eyes focused on him, her mind replaced the bright blue eyes with Jay’s gray orbs and she felt her chest tightening.

“Yeah?”

“Are you feeling ok?” Jay frowned at her frightened expression “Do you want to go outside for a minute?”

She only nodded and Jay escorted her out of the bar and into the warm night. The salty sea breeze worked like a security blanket over her senses. Easing her anxiety and worries enough to allow her to take control of her emotions back again - even if momentarily.

“What’s wrong?” Jay cupped her cheeks, eyes searching for hers, in a desperate attempt to read what was happening inside her mind.

At that moment she saw him again. Glimpses of the old Jay, the Jay she fell in love with, the same one that would never think about cheating or lying to her. The very same she wanted to build a family with. The old Jay that filled her heart with promises of happiness and a lifetime together.

…You shrug and it's the worst

Who truly stuck the knife in first?...

“I’m sorry” She whispered the same words she spoke to David earlier that afternoon.

“Why are you apologizing? What’s wrong, honeybee? Please talk to me”.

Jay’s features appeared blurry in front of her eyes. Chestnut brown strands became blonde and blue and gray orbs seemed to mix between them.

“I miss the lip ring” She touched the corner of Jay’s bottom lip

“I’ve never had a lip ring, bee” Jay’s mouth moved but for some reason she only heard David’s voice.

“Why did you do it, Jay?”

“Why did I do what?” He whispered

“The other women…why? I wasn’t enough?”

“You’re more than enough, honeybee! You always were” Jay’s lips brushed against hers, a desperate attempt of making her understand.

“Then why?” She pulled back to look into his eyes

Jay was speechless for a moment, trying to search for the answer within him. But when he found nothing, he simply shrugged and that was her answer.

After all this time she finally knew what to do to close the open wound inside her chest.

At last she finally knew who to choose, she just hoped she made the right decision.

[artificialintolerance]

[ surge findings #4 ]

a brief update is that i’m back. i’ve spoken to kit and star since returning and everything is okay with them, rest assured. star had just been a bit busy with his own stuff to be posting much on the blog and kit wasn’t used to the mask the way i am. everyone is safe, and i’m taking the reins once again to hopefully really crack down on some slender “lore.” still endlessly interesting to me that someone seems to share a last name with me despite the fact i don’t think i have any known relatives who were my age in the 80’s.

to my knowledge, this audio file takes place a month after the last, with no entries between.

( audio log begins. )

Evelyn : “Another coffee?”

Spector : “Nooo, no, I’m good.”

Evelyn : “Really? Because it looks to me like you’re falling asleep.”

Spector : “Who, me? At the early hour of…..3AM?”

Evelyn : “Witching hour, y’know. That’s when all the weird shit hangs around.”

Spector : “That explains why it’s the two of us here, then.”

Evelyn : “You sound almost bummed out about that. Like you’d prefer Clover or something.” ( a chuckle. )

Spector : “……”

Evelyn : “……He still hasn’t seen you?”

Spector : “Well, if I left someone sitting in the nuthouse for a month without visiting a single time, I guess I’d be hesitant to sit night shift with them too.”

Evelyn : “I understand why you’re upset with him, but the nurses were weirdly insistent you weren’t up to having guests.”

Spector : ( a quiet scoff. ) “According to who? Clover?”

Evelyn : “Well, yeah-“

Spector : “Bastard.”

Evelyn : “What?”

Spector : “Well, the nurses told me that I could leave anytime, as long as someone came to collect me. If i was released into their care.”

Evelyn : “Clover never…..he didn’t mention….really?”

Spector : “Maybe I will have another coffee.”

Evelyn : “Specs, I would’ve-“

Spector : “Ev, let’s just drop it, alright? I’m out now. I’m fine I’m just outta practice, y’know?”

Evelyn : ( a quiet hum of acknowledgement. )

Spector : “This job would be so much easier if I could pull some more weight on my own. Be some kinda superhuman. If i didn’t get tired, didn’t need to eat or drink, y’know what I mean?”

Evelyn : ( a soft chuckle. ) “Like what? A security bot or something?”

Spector : “Just like that. Just have somewhere to plug me in, keep me charged up.”

( laughter between the two. )

Evelyn : ( amidst laughter ) “Yeah, sure, let me whip you something up.”

Spector : ( laughter dissolves into chuckles. ) “Hey, you did say you were looking for a new project. Plus, you’re the tech guy. If anyone can do it-“

Evelyn : “Oh…man, I dunno-“

Spector : “Would you try?”

Evelyn : “I mean, I guess, but I don’t know how realistic that sorta thing is. It’s a real ambitious project.”

Spector : “That’s not a no.”

Evelyn : “Specs-“

Spector : ( the sound of a chair rolling against the floor. ) “Pleeeeease?”

Evelyn : ( giggling ) “Dude.”

Spector : “For meeeee? Make me a cool robot pleeeease?”

Evelyn : “Jeez- fine! Fine, dude, just get outta here.”

Spector : “Atta girl!” ( laughter, followed by soft kisses. )

Evelyn : “Boundaries, man.” ( chuckling. ) “How would I even do it, anyways?”

Spector : ( chair rolling recedes. ) “You’re the tech guy, you work it out.”

Evelyn : “And what do I get out of this?”

Spector : “Besides my undying love and gratitude? I’ll be your guinea pig at any given stage for any future projects, I’ll pay you the same amount but force you to camp out nights here with me less and I’ll buy you tacos for dinner whenever you want them.”

Evelyn : “Tacos from….?”

Spector : “Place down the road.”

Evelyn : “The convenience store?”

Spector : “Only the best for you, my love.”

Evelyn : “Alright, alright, fine. But you’re paying for whatever parts we need.”

Spector : “We have a deal.”

( audio log ends. )

[marshmallow-phd]

*sees notification*

Marshmallow’s back!!!

Hello! Very late greeting. I was so excited to be getting notifications about you posting again and tried to compose a message but got distracted be rereading your untamed series, again ^^’

Anyway, I’m very excited to see you on my dash again, in whatever capacity that may be. Life has a way of derailing us whether we like it or not and I think everyone here can understand that. I love your stories, you were really the first blog I followed when I got into Kpop/Exo and have been a huge inspiration to me. With life as unpredictable as it is I understand if you only want to come here for community and destressing. I’ll miss updates, but your mental health is more important.

If you are thinking of editing, I vote 2 or 3, personally leaning towards 2. Rereading the series again, I feel like (in my limited Shinee knowledge) that Minho fits the character well.

Sending hugs and love

-🦉

Hi! Yes! I am back in a weird sort of fashion!

I feel like a broken record saying this, but I truly appreciate the understanding. I know the heartbreak when a story is left unfinished and i hate being the one to do it, but I think the continued break is the best course right now. I'm still itching to edit the Untamed, although my heart breaks all over again when I think about the hard work others have put into making the banner for the master list and the moodboards... 😔

The other thing I am thinking of doing is, though it wasn't too popular, is finishing out Scarlet Moon.

I have so much of that story written and sitting in a document collecting dust. I go back and reread it some times, especially since I wrote so much after where the drama ends. I'm not sure if anyone would want it, though.

Sorry for the digression 😅 I'm happy to be back and seeing everyone's posts and the head spinning news of the Kpop world. Please take care of yourself as well and give yourself a bug hug from me

[kimmiessimmies]

Hello?? Anyone still out there?

While I seriously doubt anyone is still following KimmiesSimmies, I wanted to post anyway, just in case someone is. I have some plans, and would like to share.

First let me tell you where I’ve been and why it’s taken so long for me to post here again.

My last post was in 2018. Right before I got involved in renovating my new house. In september 2018, my son and I moved to our new place. There was still lots to do and on top of that, in April 2019 I fell pregnant with my second child. Very much planned, but still lifechanging. On Christmas Eve 2019 my daughter was born. Life with two kids is wonderful, but also very busy. Considering it takes my game at least half an hour to start up and then it’s always bound to crash again sooner rather than later, finding the time to play, and then edit the pictures and writing the stories for KimmiesSimmies is nearly impossible. However, my love for my Simmies is everlasting. I missed them dearly, they’re like family to me. Even though I couldn’t play, I was often thinking up stories and making future plans for them. Will Henry succeed in greenifying Honeycomb Valley? Where is Martha? Does Daniel and Sadie’s relationship survive the distance? How does Morgan handle her co-parenting situation? What does Susie and Luke’s wedding look like? I have the answers, and many more, but they’re all in my head.

However, I’m dying to share. These stories, that have been building up in my head for five years, need to get out. So I started writing. And even though I don’t think KimmiesSimmies still has much of an audience left, I still decided I want to share these stories. Now the only question left was, how? My site has always been heavily picturebased, as is to be expected of a Simblog. This has always been my style as well, at one point I even said it: I don’t play to write, I write about what I’ve played. This was already shifting slightly within the last few stories I’ve written. Because even then, with one kid, the time I had to play was far less than the time I had to make up stories, I started to use my play time to play out the stories I had set up in my mind. While playing I took pictures and when I wrote the blog post I made up the text but the main story line had been clear even before I started up the game.

To tell the stories I need to tell now, I will take it one step further: the stories are already written, in detail, and when I get the chance, I will start up the game to take the pictures I need to emphasise the words. I won’t play out these stories in their entirety, but I will set up the scenes I need so the stories get that little bit extra. I couldn’t even play the stories out fully even if I wanted to, because the way I’ve written them now, my characters sometimes perform actions impossible in a Simuniverse. My “no poses” policy however, will, mostly, be maintained.

The stories in itself are also slightly different. While I was writing, I realised I often focused more on the emotions involved in the moment, sometimes making the stories more serious. At the same time, writing this way, gave my characters more personality. So, more text, less pictures, but also a lot more depth. Another consequence of writing first is that the subjects of my stories have changed a bit compared to before. When playing, it’s easy to show an event, or a casual Summerday where not a whole lot really happens, but it’s still fun to witness and be a part of. When writing without playing first such situations make for a less interesting storyline, so those will occur less.

Long story short: if you are still following KimmiesSimmies and stuck around for 5 years to see how their lives continue, you will get your answers. In a different way than you’re used to and I can’t make any promises about frequency. But yes, things will happen. I for one am very excited about this. 🙂

My first story, evolving around James, is already up on the site, but more on that later.

[pudding-parade]

Music Meme 2: Electric Boogaloo

@papermint-airplane and @simsdastra tagged me again for this, so apparently they, at least, want more from me. There's no accounting for taste, folks! ;)

🎶✨when u get this u have to put 5 songs u actually listen to, and publish. then, send this ask/tag 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) ✨🎶

I'll use YouTube embeds this time, just because it's easier than copypasting links and because ya girl doesn't have a Spotify account. (Well, technically, I do, but I forgot my login and idc enough to recover it.) Anyway, since embeds are huge plus I babbled as usual, I'll put them behind a cut.

And I guess I'll tag more peeps, so here you go: @twinsimming, @rollo-rolls, @ninjaofthepurplethings, @suratan-zir, @fluttereyes-ts3-blog, @danjaley, @unsimspirational, @lilidebergerac, @stargazer-sims, and @parystrange. And if anyone reading this wants to do it, too, consider yourself tagged, too. Feel free to ignore, as always. No pressure.

Here we go…

This one reminds me of my rave days. Man, I miss those rave days… I listen to a lot of ambient, trance-y electronic stuff whether I'm high/tripping or not. It tends to fuel creativity in me, and Delerium is always at the top of my list. I love the combination of dark ambient and ethereal female voices that most of their tracks have.

More belly dance music. Yes, I am really into belly dance. I've been taking lessons for….eight?…years now, and I'm good enough now to perform as well as teach beginners. In fact, I'm teaching my very first actual beginner's class this spring, and I'm very excited because 8 people (including one guy and one kid, which is awesome) have already signed up. SQUEE! :D I love everything about belly dance. It's excellent exercise and gives you amazing muscle control, which is great for inherently clumsy people like me. I love the music. I LOVE love that it makes me feel sexy and ultra-feminine and that there's no pressure for dancers to be super-skinny. (In fact, belly dance looks better if you aren't skinny, although lamentably I am skinny because of health issues.) But most of all, I love the outfits. The fabrics, the sweeping skirts, the colors, the BLING. ✨ ✨ ✨

ANYWAY! This piece is one that I have performed to. I prefer pieces that are all/mostly darbuka (That's the drum), and this guy is a master.

You wouldn't think that this combo would work as a duet, but it really, really does, despite the fact that, according to my first husband (who was a recording engineer and eventually a producer), Donna was hung-over as fuck during the (single!) recording session. Can you imagine singing like that while hung-over? I can't.

Ironically, I played the shit out of this song when my first husband left me. LOL I still play it a lot nowadays when I want to sing and dance like an idiot.

I wouldn't call myself a metalhead by any stretch of the imagination, but I do like metal quite a bit. My favorite metal genre is symphonic metal, which probably isn't surprising since I'm a classical musician. :) But yeah, give me all the Nightwish and Epica and, indeed, Within Temptation. This is arguably my favorite song of theirs.

And since I haven't put anything from my favorite band of all time on these lists…time to fix that. :) Though it definitely isn't my overall favorite song of Queen's, this is my favorite song from Queen II, which is my favorite Queen album. It's the height of their fantasy-theme phase. It's also their "heaviest" album, so I thought that something from it was a good song to follow Within Temptation. :)

[poohwhin]

woo life update #2 bc i have internet now & am not actually losing my mind.

HELLO ‼️ yeah like end of march/the entirety of april was quite literally the worst time of my life and i am very. tired. a hiatus was vv much needed. (plus i didnt have wifi anyways so its not like i could do much here even i wanted to.)

i’m still not back. bc things are still vv rocky. (& literally stressing myself to death for a month and a half has left me physically ill SKSKSKS). but here are some small things that’ve happened !

1): i don’t have a laptop anymore. so when i do eventually decide to come back art is gonna be in a very weird spot. (im using my mom’s ipad rn but i also dont have an apple pencil so drawing with a stylus is odd).

^ adding onto that point. i also scrapped everything i was working on beforehand. i had already backlogged myself, so having to start using a whole new device just gave me the push to scrap all the ideas i had, and refocus myself. (most of them were just gifts for friends & birthdays i missed. :( but its okay hopefully you guys will have more sksksk).

for the time being i think i’m just gonna be making things i feel like making. ever since i started on tumblr i’ve always treated it like a job bc ive always thought it was unfair to those who followed me, and it was seriously starting to diminish my love for certain things (especially as i got into more things like genshin n honkai; feeling like i had to make an absurd amount of content everyday so things seemed ‘fair’ really just tanked my mood). but after taking a month break i was like “yo these are my blogs i should just do what i want.” SO ‼️ virek is still around & i’m still working on him, but there isn’t any set schedule bc i like a lot of things rn, and am just only gonna work on him when i’m in the right mood 🫂 (i don’t wanna end up hating him)

2): i’ve gotten really into honkai star rail & am already close to doing everything there is to do. so now i have more old people in my arsenal to draw.

not much has happened besides me sleeping/gaming to distract from literally everything else going on in my life. so forgive me for my absence 🫶 but hopefully i’ll be doing a lot better when i come back <3 (again the hiatus was. much needed. bc anyone who speaks to me literally ever knows that i can never actually take a break. thankfully this time i was forced to <3. and still kinda am bc our wifi is kicking on and off still & is vv janky but ANYWAYS. ILY GUYS 🫶 GIVE ME LIKE ANOTHER HALF YEAR AND I’LL BE BACK AND NOT GOING INSANE /j)