#is this in charleston lmfao

[johndonneswife]

cute storybook 19th century home in charleston

[gougarfem]

heres an interesting ask thats not "kys": Did you have a funny name before you detransitioned?

i was gonna call myself Eugene or Emile, i think i even considered going as Emmet LMFAO

oh my god yes. for most of the time i transitioned i went by my birth name (i passed well enough that it didn't matter) but for a few years i was charlie/charleston, and also ash SJDJDJD... and for smaller amounts of time i went by theo or finn. eugene is... definitely interesting lmaoo thank you for the ask !!

[samijey]

OH MY GOD, THAT SAMI/JEY PART FROM THAT CHARLESTON SHOW. I got goosebumps. IT'S THIS SHIT THAT MAKES US SHIP THEM. IT'S ALL THEIR FAULT. I sound like Joey Styles over here 😭

For real, though, I love that these two totally play into the Jey/Sami story. Like if any other wrestlers had the storyline they did I don't think it would of landed the same or had us quite by the throat as it has, but Jey and Sami are fantastic storytellers who aren't afraid to be emotional. Even just little background moments they play up those moments like when they were rolling around in the ring. I really hope this happens on tv.

LMFAO NOT JOEY STYLES 😭😭

And yeah, the commitment these two have to what is, at the end of the day, a minor wrinkle in the overall storyline is gagworthy and we love to see it! Imagine being WWE and randomly striking gold the way they have by finding two performers who are not only so good at what they do, but are also totally unpretentious and willing to do what feels right for the characters at any given time, even at random non-canon live shows 🤧🤧 live show spots/matches often reflect past or upcoming plans for TV, so although the rational part of my brain is telling me not to read into this, the other part (the brainrot part) is a pile of NERVES for the upcoming episodes of Smackdown.

[aeltri]

"not seen together in ages"- except this weekend at James Rhodes wedding...

So what? Is that why Cunter's got Proudman who's a well-known divorce lawyer on retainer? How long ago was that parched broad papped at JFK? Creeping around Charleston? Last week? Like she'd pass up another opportunity for free publicity via a minor celebrity? Why the sudden aggressive PR push? I was even IMd by multiple Spanish plants and the sneaky pics? Same. Not exactly organic. Cunter's simply milking that tit-for-tat PR dealio in her fauxmance contract seeing as how she has nothing else to do RN. Throwing herself into her "work"? LMFAO 🤣!

[pastramimommy]

Reflections from 24

There is absolutely nothing that I would change about the version of me that walked into its 25 year old form yesterday. I am so proud of the person I have worked hard to be and the growth that I have made. 24 contained some very hard lessons and I came out of them a stronger person that has actually taken the time to address my demons in a healthy way. I am more confident in myself and kind to myself than I ever knew I could be, and this manifests in all of my relationships, old and new. Even as all of my loved ones cycle in and out of my proximity, I rarely ever feel lonely because I made a valiant effort to seek out people and experiences that fill my heart. I can honestly say that I did something every day that brought me closer to the person I always dreamed I could be. This goes for my career and my character. As much as I prioritize my work, I have succeeded in maintaining a balanced lifestyle that does not limit my identity to my job. All my fears about starting my job (anxiety, imposter syndrome, etc) were never really an issue at all. I am learning so much at work, and will always ensure that I make time for fun. My number one area for growth historically is keeping in contact with my friends and family and I believe I have done not only that, but continued to deepen our relationships over time, even if I see these people once a year. All I know is I enter 25 with only excitement for what is to come and I welcome my mid-late 20s with open arms!

Miscellaneous proud moments of 24:

-Graduated from Duke, passed the NCLEX and started working as a nurse on my dream unit

-Started taking Sertraline and saw incredible improvements made in my life (increased memory, attention, ability to socialize with anyone, try different activities that usually riddle me with crippling anxiety)

-Had a drunk mental breakdown that acted as a catalyst towards breaking down barriers between family members lmfao

-Solidified some great friendships with my spicy nurses before everyone moved away

-Maintained a healthy relationship with physical fitness by doing Krav Maga, running and lifting

-Started reading again!

-I started investing, budgeting and contributing to my retirement account

-Visited San Diego, LA, the Bay Area, Las Vegas, Nashville, Charleston, Charlotte, Atlanta, Asheville, New York

-I’ve gotten so much better at embroidery, and can do more than just the damn Nike logo

-Made so many great new friends!! Krav friends, Filipino friends, work friends. 

-Moved to a new apartment and actually decorated it to make it feel like a home

-I’m lowkey good at cooking now, and will even fuck around with baking

-Celebrated 1 year with Christopher.  I am in the deepest, healthiest love with the most handsome, intelligent, funny, thoughtful person I have ever met. Feeling fairly confident that this is the one.

[viciathief]

I miss them so much 😔

[stoiicist]

OKAY BESTIES.... LIKE GENUINELY VENUS’ LIL PROPHECY THING ONLY MAKES SENSE AND MAKES FOR GOOD, POIGNENT WRITING IF REYNA IS A CANON LESBIAN...................lmfao.....

we start with reyna plagued by comphet, constantly being told who she should be her entire life (in more ways than one, so again VERY fitting for her character). she’s trying to force feelings for her best friend but it never feels right. it always feels... out of place. like a puzzle piece that doesn’t fit right, but she doesn’t know why.

then venus’ words that day in charleston. “you will not find love where you wish or hope.” they aren’t said cruelly, more in the way a knowing parent tries to gently steer a child in the right direction. but still they cut deep, because reyna thinks she knows why but she’s still only 15 and can’t bring herself to say it.

and imagine if we got to follow reyna coming to terms with her sexuality throughout her POV in BoO, finally acknowledging who she is and accepting it, LOVING IT!!!!! and then opening up to nico, to her sister. finally having a part of herself that is Hers and being able to believe that it is Good and finally feeling like herself.

FUCK ADN LIKE. if we had reyna coming to terms with her sexuality and then the fight with orion right after that, the literal representation of toxic masculinity, of horrible, disgusting men who target and harm women. if we had that monster taunt reyna for her attraction to women (namely annabeth, still using his whole “do you know how strange it is to meet your mortal enemy and end up being attracted to her? — praetor, what am I saying? Of course you know”), if we had orion mocking reyna. and then reyna rising up against that, staring him down in all her dyke-y confidence and glory, telling him that she knows who she is, that she is not broken, that she doesn’t need to be fixed or changed or turned. that nothing he can say will make her go back to hiding who she is. that she doesn’t hide any part of herself anymore.

bellona and athena give their blessings, literal stamps of approval from her own mother and her crush’s mom, and then reyna kills orion. our beloved roman lesbian killing a manifestation of sexism and lesbophobia. if you don’t think that’s fucking poetic idk what else to tell you.

and then she returns to camp, terrified she’ll be persecuted for breaking roman law, terrified she won’t be accepted for who she is but instead she’s.... welcomed back with open arms. hero of olympus. giant killer. lesbian icon. and she’s finally surrounded by people who know and love her for her and not what she can do for them, and going back to new rome felt more like going back home than it ever has.

—————————— SIDENOTE:

ALSO. ALSO. i know we clown on rick all the time but can we talk about how bad his portrayal of the gods are??????? like WHY did he make venus bully reyna fr and toy with her love life for seemingly no reason (other than weird plot device?? + forced tension) and why did he characterize venus/aphrodite as shallow and vain and.... constantly meddling and cruelly playing w mortals love lives anyway. like it was just lazy and stereotypical characterization imo

so in my increasing and exhaustive efforts to fix all the weird, cringy, and outright bad/offensive shit rick did in hoo in a semi canon-compliant way..... sometimes i like 2 imagine that venus was aware of reyna’s importance/role in the survival of rome and her words were not so much her being like haha you’ll never find love binch or a prophecy concerning reyna being Forever Alone as much as they were... a warning? a way to deter reyna from distractions? ‘remember, child, the legacy of rome depends on you, you cannot let your heart be divided when the time comes for rome to rise or fall.’ her aim is for reyna to carry these words with her like a wound, like a shield. ‘you were born to be a warrior and a leader, now be one.’

[a-lbeit]

2019: a year in review

a doozy

rang in the new year at jellyrolls in orlando with a complimentary champagne toast, hats and noisemakers, and a round of “auld lang syne,” just as you’re supposed to, ending the night at steak n shake with some of the best people i’ve known. it was a traditional new years, and i couldn’t be more grateful.

watched most of my roommates go back to where they came from--australia, ohio, brazil, hawaii. it was a sad few days when i was alone in the apartment before moving to a new place, continuing on with the college program.

had a visit from my parents and aunt. it was nostalgic, in a way, and i’m so glad they were able to visit me. my aunt has already visited me out here in california, and i hope my parents can make the trip out at some point.

found out that i had been accepted to participate in the college program in disneyland. i remember opening that email at the bus stop after a morning shift at the hotel. it was unthinkable, the idea that california was on my horizon. i hadn’t been that excited about something in a long, long time. in the coming days, i remember researching driving across the country in an old and unreliable car.

finally took the free tour of the wilderness lodge. it certainly held my interest, but i took the information with a grain of salt. it’s still disney, after all.

started hanging out with katie, nicole, and estevan, the first group of people i didn’t live with that i felt close to since high school. going to the parks with them was so pure, the way i picture young people’s experiences at disney world should be like. we went to the butterfly garden at epcot, got food at the flower and garden festival, and watched happily ever after countless times. i’m not often one for that type of shit, usually, but with them, it was incredible. 

drove back to charleston on st patrick’s day to see mumford and sons with callie. that was one of the groups i’d always wanted to see, and callie is one of the best people to see a concert with. i’ve said it before, but marcus mumford is one of my favorite celebrity-type people. he seems genuine and personable.

drove back a couple days later and went to bob ross’s grave with katie

the next day, finally bit the bullet and bought a ticket to universal. katie and i had so much fun that day. it was strange being back there and seeing all the changes since i had last been on my senior trip in high school. seeing everything, especially on the universal side, that i had missed or never had time for, was far out.

had a visit from lisa and toby somewhere in there and also from my cousin

went to blizzard beach with katie and nicole

went to clearwater beach with katie, nicole, and estevan. i found $20 in the sand, we took nice photos, and blasted music in the car.

had some late night walmart and target visits with them, where nicole and i started our “hello/hi” snapchat epics. i miss those.

nicole spent a few nights at the hospital, so we visited her. we had fun, even though i know she was scared. 

went to magic kingdom on 4/20 lmfao 

went to jellyrolls one last time

was given a cupcake for my second to last day at port orleans (and for my last, as well). one of the managers was quite kind and i do appreciate her.

went to universal one last time. cracked my phone that morning lmfao. still had a great day, though. 

the last evening before moving out, katie, estevan, and i went to magic kingdom. daniel took some photos for us in front of the castle, we said goodbye to estevan, watched happily ever after, and for our last ride, attempted to go on thunder mountain. we were evacuated. what a way to end it.

despite these memories, the first part of 2019 is kind of a blur. i remember being infuriated with my workplace environment--the lack of hours, the shitty treatment of employees, particularly by one of the managers. i do not miss him and i do not miss that place. i am only thankful to have met katie, nicole, and estevan through it. port orleans riverside, and disney world in general (not disneyland, on which i will speak later) is the absolute most awful place i have ever worked. i cried in my car in the rain starting my 6 hour drive back to charleston on may 2nd to have to leave my friends, but i was overjoyed to be leaving orlando.

returned to charleston, no money in my bank account, worried about the plausibility of getting a job just for a few months before leaving for california.

saw shakey graves with callie and some others. it wasn’t the best shakey graves show i’d seen, but it was nice nonetheless.

went to folly beach for the sunrise with melissa. it was beautiful and empty, and i was even wearing a jacket in charleston in may. 

also went to the grand reopening of one of the local mcdonalds with melissa LMFAO

got a job at east bay deli and also back at the college bookstore. thank god for them.

spent the next 8-ish weeks mostly just working close to every day. i might have had 3 or 4 days off in that time. but i wouldn’t have had it any other way. i actually looked forward to the 2 days a week i got to work at the bookstore--i loved my supervisors and coworkers so much. and the deli was chill and i enjoyed my coworkers there, too. i miss them, to be honest. both of those jobs. i didn’t make much money, but it was something to enable me to get a start in california and to enjoy a couple of summer trips. 

in mid-july, rented a car and drove up to the smokies, one of new favorite summer traditions (although i’m not sure if i’ll be able to continue it this year). on the way there, i even got a new phone, making the trip even better, since i now had a battery life that lasted, gps that actually worked, and a nicer phone camera. i did some really great hikes, ones that i’d had on the back burner for a couple years. i even did 2 hikes in one day that added up to about 15 miles. that’s not really that much, but i was proud of myself. i also found myself once again at looking glass falls, feeling that this is what summer should look like. i miss that place, where everything seems simple, even though it’s not.

returned, worked for a few more days at the bookstore (with my birthday in between, a lovely day spent in edisto with my parents), and flew up to the new york area for a couple days. man, what a trip. 

after arriving at jfk, i took the airtrain into manhattan and headed uptown to finally visit the general grant mausoleum, something i had wanted to do the last couple times i had been to new york but had never had the chance to. it was beautiful to look at and fascinating to learn about. i love that the nps has so many different kinds of sites. then, i went to columbia’s wallach art gallery because i had the time to. bob dylan’s “mozambique” was part of one of the pieces. 

finally took the train down to lauren’s. it was so incredible to spend the night at her apartment and then to come back to the city with her the next day. we went to the color factory, walked around soho, got food in chinatown, and went to a drag performance, after which we met up with kai and got a late dinner in harlem. 

the next day, we walked around to a few color factory spots and parted ways at penn station. i continued on to my next airbnb in queens and went to primark to end the evening. 

went back to flushing meadows corona park, reminiscing about the paul simon concert i’d seen less than a year before and how strange it was to be back on the same soil. i explored the park in more depth. it’s such an overlooked place full of early 60s futurism. i went to paul simon’s childhood home, which is up for sale now, and got a snack at the lemon ice king of corona. on i ventured to the jamaica bay wildlife refuge, another nps site checked off my list (not that any nps site is a place to “check off.” i want to see them all because the diversity is so unique). 

that evening, i met up with ciaran. it was so cool to be able to see him for the first time since berlin. besides zuri and the people i went to school with, he’s the only person i’ve seen since that semester. i loved talking about berlin and what we’ve been up to since then.

my last day, i wandered around prospect park (at the recommendation of ciaran), went to federal hall, and finally to governor’s island where i got soaked in a rainstorm but it was all right. i ended the night with pierogi and thoughts of the coming week.

flew back and packed for the start of a different life

once again flew out of charleston for what i thought would be the last time for a while. i arrived in chicago for a nice few days before chugging out of union station.

trying to get to my airbnb on the l was an experience. lollapalooza was going on, and i arrived at my transfer station just as everyone was leaving for the night. it was packed and i ended up going in the opposite direction i needed just so that i could get on the train in the right direction before everyone else piled on. it was funny, though, even in the moment. 

it was my first time in chicago, so i started my first day at millennium park, which was honestly really cool, despite the crowds. from there, i went to the art institute, where i could have spent all my time if i had the chance. i remembered scenes from ferris bueller. 

travelled down to the university of chicago, where i toured the robie house. i think that was the first frank lloyd wright house that i’ve seen. maybe someday i’ll get to fallingwater and the like. 

more south, there’s a place called the stony island arts bank. they had on display an artist’s work who had painted a photo from each day of obama’s presidency. there were thousands of them. i loved it so much. 

my second and last day, i walked along lake michigan, visited a mexican art museum, and went to the zoo, ending the night at the navy pier gazing at the city lights. this trip was a tourist’s one, but i wouldn’t have had it any other way.

dragged my shit to union station the next morning, ready to depart on an over-two-day long train trip to the west. 

to begin with, the train left probably 2 hours late. it was all right, though. when we finally started moving, i felt it--the wheels against the track, sure, but more so the wind in mountains thousands of miles away that i would soon see. 

sunset in illinois and sunrise in nebraska, a concept

i had both seats to myself from somewhere in illinois until salt lake city. what a time to be alive.

sure, the stretch between denver and colfax might be the beautiful part, but all those plains of nebraska and eastern colorado did a number on me. 

in denver, we had about a 35 minute refuel break, so i left the train and union station and walked to a 7 eleven a few blocks away. how strange it was to be in a city i’d always heard of, but just for a few minutes. when i got back on, a man had boarded and sat in front of me that sure was a loud talker. i was thankful to be behind him rather than next to him. 

we left denver, only to be held up about a half hour later by a freight train stuck in a tunnel. the man started freaking me and the other passengers out a little--he was muttering and sort of rocking back and forth, clearly uncomfortable with the delay we were faced with. i moved to the observation car for the first time to get away from him, and boy, am i glad i did. i spent a good amount of time there for the remainder of my journey. when we were still stuck behind that freight train, the conductor came in and played someone’s guitar, leading us all in a singalong. it was pure and i’m glad i was a part of it.

after we finally got moving again, we started to see the scenery we had signed up for. apart from badlands and the black hills last year, i’d never seen the west at all. this was terrain on the level of ansel adams’s iconography. thank god for that part of the country.

to see and do this on a train made it so much more meaningful. to realize you’re looking at the path that people’s ancestors blazed through all those years ago is something else. 

a lot of utah was passed through at night, unfortunately, but from salt lake city on, we could see the alien landscapes of the state. i still can’t fully fathom its character, but i have at least a bit of an idea now. wow. 

at one point, i think in nevada, we were delayed again by a passenger needing an ambulance. i can’t even imagine what it must have been like for them. i hope everything ended up working out fine for them.

leaving out of reno and crossing the state line into california was anticlimactic but incredible. i was really in california. 

everyone ended up getting a free meal because the train was so late. at that point, it was over 6 hours behind schedule. that beef stew, mashed potatoes, and bread sure hit different when i hadn’t had substantial food since denver.

the train emptied out as time went on, and after the last sunset somewhere in the middle of california, it was just me and a few others in the observation car. trev and i had been talking for months about meeting up once i got to california, and he ended up calling me to ask if he could come to my airbnb the night i arrived in anaheim in a few days. i said yes. it remained in the back of my mind. 

we rolled in to emeryville 5 minutes before midnight, 7 hours and 45 minutes late. it was cold and i was unsure of the reliability of my airbnb host, but i wouldn’t trade it for anything. i ended up taking a lyft to the airbnb because i just couldn’t deal with waiting for or even learning the bus. my airbnb host was probably the worst i’ve ever had, and i only was able to get into the apartment complex because another resident came back and let me in, but it doesn’t matter.

i worried about transportation costs in san francisco, but i bit the bullet (as gently as i could). it’s fucking san francisco in the summertime. what else can you do?

i started everything off with a visit to the hyde street pier after taking the bus into the city from berkeley. i saw a sea lion or seal or whatever and got my first view of the golden gate. it was like nothing else. 

had in n out, since i guess it’s blasphemous not to

walked to the palace of the arts and then went to the bridge. i didn’t cross it or anything, but i walked down to the beach and admired the bay. how do places like that exist? 

climbed back up to the level of civilization and rushed over to the embarcadero to meet up with brandon. i feel so grateful that i was able to meet up with him. we walked around chinatown, had dinner, and ended the night at burger king in union square.

the next morning, i made my way to golden gate park, where outside lands was to be held later that day. i saw the windmill, the bison enclosure, strawberry hill, the aids memorial grove--a message on one of the stones said the names of two men who had “met the day humans walked on the moon”--and hippie hill. that park is full.

i thought about trev on my long walks, how i’d probably be seeing him in a little over 24 hours 

ventured into the haight-ashbury district, where i wandered around amoeba a little bit and saw the music history which has become such a piece of consumerism nowadays. i guess it always was, though.

saw a beautiful church in mission delores and looked around an alley of street art; then went up to the richy rich part of town (although i guess that’s the entirety of sf, isn’t it?) to see the painted ladies and look at everything the beat museum had to offer. that place was so fascinating.

went back to my airbnb briefly before taking the bart down to oakland to see paul simon in his pop-up show at the fox theater that he’d announced about a week beforehand. i was lucky enough to score a ticket, and even though his setlist was mostly the same from when i’d seen him twice the year before, there’s something about him that just makes me wide-eyed. 

the next day, flew out of sf and into orange county, my new home. flying down to southern california was a feeling of hope and freshness. i don’t feel it as much anymore, but it sure did make my heart jump at the time. i still couldn’t believe i was in california, seeing the pacific outside my airplane window, and that just 4 or 5 days before, i had experienced so much less in my life.

that evening, trev came over. it was certainly a day of firsts. i remember that night so well, how he kissed me good night at the end. i still like him as a friend and i’ll probably hook up with him again, but blech. cringe. i’ve changed, i think.

the next day, i moved into a new apartment to start the disney college program once again. meeting my 4 roommates, who knew what kind of shit was to happen over the next few months? i was so guarded that day, as i always am with meeting people, but especially with the self-hatred of continuing to work for disney.

in the next few days before the orientation where we get our disney IDs and entrance pass to the parks, i got settled and explored the area a little bit. i walked onto disney property, seeing the disneyland sign for the first time. it was otherworldly. i had thought about this for so many years, not just california, but disneyland specifically. it was the original, the first. seeing downtown disney, the hotels, and a few views of the parks was insane. 

the day of the orientation was like a door opening. we went on a small tour of the park. it was just me and one other guy in our group who had never been to disneyland, so we got to go out into it first. i will always remember that first second. i also learned that i would be working at autopia lmfao and i was NAWT happy. look at me now. i am so goddamn indebted to that place.

that evening, my roommates and i went into the park as guests, and i rode peter pan as my first ride. i was happy. 

went to la for the first time the next day. seeing the hollywood sign in the distance doesn’t faze me quite so much now, but that first time, wow. it’s beautiful when everything is new to you. 

went to the parks a few more times in the midst of training at auto. i met and befriended abby, greg, and alex. my second day of auto training was blake and jacob’s first. i remember meeting them and shaking their hands and discussing how we had all done a program in florida.

went to joshua tree one night with zuri, where we stargazed and saw all kinds of flora and fauna. it was beautiful, and i loved being the one to drive back at 4 in the morning through the blackened californian scenery.

the day i got signed off, i went back to la to spend the night at trev’s LMFAO, with the next morning spent at venice and santa monica. i remember feeling so grateful for my life, for california, for getting laid, for disneyland.

a few nights later, a big group of us all went out. i got drunk for the first time. i met britt then, and i got closer to blake and everyone.

in the next few weeks, i went to an angels game with abby and her roommates, went bowling with coworkers, and had a tipsy la day with abby.

then came september 11th. we were all going to go out again. after work, i went to walmart to buy vodka and strawberry lemonade. i made a detour to mcdonald’s because i wanted to eat something before getting lit. and i broke my ankle. never got to go out that night. the defining point of these past 6 months.

i sat on the ground after falling for about 20 minutes, maybe, waiting and hoping for the pain to subside. it didn’t. before the swelling started, i noticed that when i moved my left ankle, it didn’t look the same as my right one. i admitted defeat and called my roommate to drive me to the er. thank god for her. 

we sat in the er waiting room for a couple hours. my ankle hurt, but i don’t really remember it being too bad anymore. they finally saw me. i got an x-ray. the technician said it was broken. i started crying. the nurse splinted me up and gave me crutches. the doctor wrote me a recommendation for an orthopedic specialist. i fell again trying to use the crutches on the way out. they re-x-rayed me. re-splinted me. sent me home.

i somehow took a shower the next morning. blake messaged me, asking how i was. he brought me coffee and pastries. i will never forget it. 

i couldn’t get an appointment until almost a week later, but in the meantime, my roommates and i held a couple game and movie nights. abby and jacob came by, blake always made an appearance, and i met tucker.

i would start a lot of days by listening to the sigh no more album and contemplating my future. it was a low time, but not the lowest it would get.

britt and i talked a lot, comparing our experiences. i asked her a lot about medical leave. we grew closer because of it all.

when the appointment finally rolled around, i was told that i would most likely need surgery. he re-splinted it and sent me on my way, as it was still too swollen to do anything. i cried in blake’s car. 

i called my parents and they said i should come home. i was devastated, but they were right. i was going to do absolutely EVERYTHING in my power to be able to continue with my college program, though. this shit would not end me. (and it didn’t. but i didn’t know it at the time.)

a flight was booked for me to fly back to charleston on september 21st. the night before, we had a final game night with everyone. blake gave me a letter, saying not to read it until i got on the plane. hugs goodbye were tight and i felt my chest close. it was melancholic in a way i’d never felt before. 

i sat in the airport the next day trying not to cry. i was able to hold it in. then i was in the air and i finally let myself read the letter. tears escaped often throughout that entire day. i tried to be as discreet as i could. 

i reunited with my parents much sooner than i thought i would. it had only been just over a month, after all. i had an appointment that tuesday and we set up surgery for thursday. 

i was in charleston for 6 weeks exactly, one of the longest stretches of time in my life. i was constantly forlorn about california and worried about my finances and my participation in the program. the lowest point hit when one of the program people said i should consider cutting my losses and quitting, that they’d only make me pay rent through the middle of november because of my circumstances. i got a medical bill from the er in anaheim that was exponential because my insurance hadn’t gone through yet (but i didn’t realize that part). the only thing that kept me all right was the thought of my friends in california and the hope of a grandiose future, although i wasn’t too sure about that possibility. i wrote blake a letter and he wrote me back. i read east of eden and some other books. britt and i texted. rozi and i became incredibly close. i hung out with my parents and we watched queer eye. i recovered. i became better. my blind resilience (or perhaps stubbornness) was the main reasoning behind my (stupidly naïve) unwavering assuredness of a return to california. 

LMFAO at the fact that i almost forgot about this, but i texted tucker a lot during that stretch, as well. he asked me out, and we grew closer during my stint in charleston. i looked forward to hanging out with him when i got back.

and the day of my return did come. november 2nd, the most beautifully pure day of my program. i flew back with grace in my heart and stars in my eyes, even though i was still on crutches. i had a window seat and clear skies to admire the southwest, another part of the country i had never had the chance to lay eyes on. and i landed at john wayne airport to texts about my return. britt picked me up and everything seemed positive and optimistic. 

reuniting with blake was something in itself. it was brief, but it had been such a long time coming that i almost cried again. he called me a kindred spirit one time, and that is such a perfect description of what he is to me, as well. 

finally met up with tucker. we went to in n out and came back to my apartment, where we talked for a while and made out for a while. 

had an appointment less than a week later, where i was told that i could start putting weight on my ankle again. within another week, i was down to one crutch. it was freeing in a way i’d never known. by now, it was the middle of november, and i still wasn’t certain when i’d return to work, but it didn’t matter anymore. i was here, in california, surrounded by people i’d grown unfathomably close to in such a short time. 

went to the ellen show somewhere in there and had sex with tucker LMFAO. we spent a lot of time together in about three weeks (he ended up quitting the program and moving back to georgia, so our time was quite short). i had a good time, although i now realize how blinded i was by his laziness and selfishness. i don’t miss him, but i don’t regret it. 

had a photoshoot with my boot and my crutch. it was nice to be able to have fun again. 

finally returned to the parks, which was something of a homecoming, but not as much as when my aunt visited a few days later and i rode autopia for the first time since everything happened.

tucker moved out, and i cried. i roll my eyes now. i wrote him a letter and he never acknowledged it, and never texted anyone back that wished him well. fuck him.

on november 25th, the program gave us a thanksgiving dinner. after that, rozi, blake, britt, and i all wanted to do something, so blake found this place called the juke joint less than a mile away. it was the start of our close group. we would go and play pool and have a drink or two. by that point, i was down to no crutch, as well.

one night, we all went to abby’s. i got a little drunk and talked about socialism and the national park service for like half an hour.

went to medieval times lmao

it kind of became a thing for us to drag blake out of his apartment to go to juke joint. those were the days.

got cleared to go back to work on december 4th, but didn’t go back until the 13th. in that time, i chilled, tried not to spend money, and slept over at trev’s again after a fun karaoke session with zuri and her coworkers. we went to amoeba and guitar center, and i went to a book talk at the morrison hotel gallery.

one juke joint night, rozi, blake, britt, and i ended up staying out all night, driving to the top of the world in laguna to see sunrise. it started with rozi needing toilet paper, so we went to target after leaving juke joint. then we didn’t want it to end. we got tacos and donuts and we sat in a park for a while talking about life. rozi wanted to go to a view. we found the top of the world. and we drove there. there was fog and gas station snacks. i am thankful for that night and for rozi initiating it all.

went to the dcp end of program celebration and got drunk at abby’s apartment afterwards. i had a lot of fun that night. i met matheus there. 

finally went back to work on december 13th. that morning, all the program participants had an opportunity to take a photo in front of the castle, and jacob, abby, and i all posed together. at work, i felt a real sense of joy. my ankle and feet hurt by the end of the day, but the knowledge of forthcoming paychecks and a renewed sense of purpose overpowered any pain.

went to the newport boat parade

another night, rozi, blake, and i again stayed out all night after juke joint. we went back to the same park, and after a while, we said “let’s go to la.” i drove there in blake’s car, and we tried to go to griffith, but it was closed. so we went up to the start of a hollywood sign hike and looked down at the city’s lights. the juxtaposition of the natural and the man-made is really captivating. then we went to hollywood boulevard and had fries at a 24 hour burger place in the roosevelt hotel at 4 in the morning. it was beautiful. on the way back, rozi slept in the back and blake and i talked about politics and the park service, about trump’s impeachment. i called out of work and slept all day, that evening going to jacob’s housewarming party. after we left, the four of us went back to blake’s (i, at least, was crossfaded at that point lmfao) and all laid on his twin bed. 

on christmas eve, rozi, blake, and i went to california adventure and had food from the festival of the holidays. it was an incredible evening. it felt pure. 

i worked on christmas morning again, but i enjoyed myself. blake and i would fuck around, and it really made everything all right.

went out with some coworkers a few days later. we laughed and got low. 

worked a hell of a lot, trying to make up for the three months i had been out of a job

new years eve almost was anticlimactic--almost. blake, abby, and i all worked and came home together, making a stop at vons for champagne, pizza, and chips and salsa. then, i found out rozi wasn’t going to be around because she was going to spend the evening with her family. i was disheartened. new years is the only holiday i really care about, and it was about to be the start of the roaring 20s. i wanted to do something big. but it ended up being all right. i went to abby’s apartment and hung out with her roommates. blake came a bit later. we all drank together until abby and bailey decided to go to california adventure, while the rest of us decided to stay. at midnight, it ended up just being me, blake, mackenzie, and lauren, which was all right. i was drunk by that point and i don’t really remember the ball dropping, but i know it was a nice way to roll in the new year. britt came through eventually, and we went back to blake’s, but he wanted to take a smoke, so we all went outside, me in his blanket. as he smoked his cigar (of which i took a few drags, unfortunately), britt went up to this party that was happening across the way and somehow got us all in. we put his blanket back and went into the party, which is fuzzy to me. i remember eating doritos and drinking jameson lmfao. i saw rod and matty at one point. i kissed them. i don’t remember coming home, but i got to work at 8:45 the next day on time. i was still drunk, but i sure did have fun that new years morning. i laughed and joked with blake and abby. it was their last day. i almost cried when blake came up to me as he was leaving.

saw a lot of movies thanks to my cousin working at amc and giving me a card that lets me see any movie any time for free

drove a little, even in california

spent way too much money on food

thought a lot about the differences between working conditions at disney world and disneyland. i’m thankful to be in california now, where the laws give more power to employees, where i’m part of a union, where the weather is good and the people are better

counted my endless blessings. i have never been more grateful of my life.

analyzed my broken ankle. it could not have come at a better time, in all honesty. i had already met incredible people on this program and had gotten to know them a little bit, so i didn’t feel like i was on the outskirts of the program, even when i was back in south carolina. it made me grow closer to everyone somehow, and i am thankful and appreciative beyond belief for that. rozi and i probably wouldn’t be as close as we are now without it. britt and i wouldn’t have bonded over our injuries. blake and i, oh man. we would have never written each other, i probably wouldn’t have read east of eden, and we might never have formed the juke joint squad. i remember writing about how hard it was, dealing with my broken ankle, with the lack of mobility, with the impending medical bills, but that i still thought that in the future, i would think the whole thing was soft. i think that even now, just a month or so later. even with the debt, with the worry of my mobility, i am so content with how my life has developed just over these past 4 months.

laughed and cried 

missed school

listened to music in a new light, but maybe not as much as i used to

became incredibly busy, but would not have traded it for anything

looked into the aspire program with the realization that i would probably be starting the road to my master’s quite soon 

became less conflicted about working for disney. i still hate myself sometimes, but it’s a different vibe out here. it seems more genuine than in florida. 

completely embraced a life in california. i don’t really think this is where i’ll end up (although who really ever knows?), but i am so genuinely happy to be in this place for a bit--and i don’t think i’ve ever unabashedly or truly thought that about a residence before

loved the national park service, as i always do, and loved discussing it with blake

songs of the year: “timshel,” mumford and sons; “this life,” vampire weekend, “the cool, cool river,” paul simon; “count your blessings,” bing crosby. “timshel” made me think about my somehow unfaltering strength and independence, about how i have to be the source of affirmation in my own life. “this life” encapsulated the beauty of a never-ending summer. “the cool, cool river” let me remember to show weakness sometimes. and “count your blessings” is always in the back of my mind.

album of the year: norman fucking rockwell, lana del rey. that entire album was such a soundtrack for me when i was dreaming of nothing but california, of my friends, of walking. 

man, 2019. the end of a decade. the change i had been waiting for. i am a completely different person than i was even 6 months ago. the events of this year affected me unlike anything in the past. i said last year that 2018 was the most eventful year of my life, but this year was something else. and i am so unendingly grateful for the trials, tribulations, and victories that it threw at me. romance, friendship, sex, drinks, travel, financial worry, pain, and overall, an enduring lust for life have carried me through this year into a new decade, and i wouldn’t have it any other way.

the first part of 2019 was completely different than the second half, and it is wild to think about it in those terms. i’m not too sure why california changed me the way it did, but man, the people i’ve come in contact with over the past 5 months have had such an impact on my life. the relationships i formed were the newest but also somehow some of the closest ones i’ve ever had. and it’s strange to think about them, but they completely envelop my outlook on this entire year. 

i’ve been so caught up in my own life that i haven’t even touched on global events. you only have to remember a couple things to become overwhelmed by the horrors of the planet. climate change, hate crimes, poverty, war. it all blends together, honestly. i think about how the world is shitty and i just kind of close myself off from it. but there is always the occasional beautiful moment that you easily pluck from the depths of your brain to renew your hope. because even though it can constantly seem like you have lost all your hope, it is never actually gone. i think it’s impossible for hope to leave your being. that sense of longing and anticipation for an untouched tomorrow always gets me through the night. 

and sometimes, you don’t even need hope. when you’ve got this incredible entanglement of all the people you love so much surrounding you, you can just picture their faces and remember the good times you’ve had so far with them and rest assured that life just might have mercy on you, on your weary but persistent and trailblazing soul.

“maybe it’s true that we are all descended from the restless, the nervous, the criminals, the arguers and brawlers, but also the brave and independent and generous. if our ancestors had not been that, they would have stayed in their home plots in the other world and starved over the squeezed-out soil.”

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2010s: 217 - 214

217. Esma & Lozano - “Pred da se razdeni” F.Y.R. Macedonia 2013

What better way to open the Green Zone of my ranking with one of Eurovision’s most hapless entries from one of my favourite years? 2013 was a year of many things: of underrated gems, of Petra Mede, of Lynda Woodruff, of Swedish Smörgåsbord, of unnecessary dubstep; It was also the year of female entrants entering the stage in hilariously overdramatic fashions. Introducing the force of nature that is ESMA:

Yes, an entrance so downright epic it cannot be contained within ONE gif!! Venerable shambling mound of scarlet shawls <3 Sauntering on the stage as if blown there by a hidden windmachine <3 Instant green just for Esma’s inclusion, but wait there’s more! 

As you know, Lozano & Esma were supposed to go with a significantly better entry (IMPERIJA <3), which they withdrew due to negative feedback from the Macedonians ( 🙄 ), so they had to bring “Pred da se razdeni” instead, a lesser song.

Which brings me to the second thing I actually really like about Esma and Lozano: they have conflicting approaches to making "Pred da se razdeni” work, by which I of course mean that they didn’t make it work, at all <3 Esma still gave it her damn all, passing on the vibrato in her voice to her hands <3

 While Lozano minced around the stage in a hopeless “aw, shucks  🤷‍♂️" state, barely containing his embarrassment at the trainwreck he found himself in. King of palpable pathos <3

I am aware that “Pred da se razdeni” is a really shitty song, but when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.. Macedonia made... lemon juice, but hey, that at least gives me something I can cling to. They really did make the “best” out of a really, really crappy situation and for this they’ve earned my respect.  

________________________________________________________________

216. Barei - “Say yay!” Spain 2016

Barei really was “INSUFFERABLE SPANISH FANDOM” at its zenith, but I actually kind of enjoyed her, lol? Only Spanish entrant to be completely in English <3 And "Say yay!” like... a slightly less messy / incompetent “Sing it away” ❤ HELLO HELLO MR. DANGER, NO NEED TO BE AFRAID + that tarddance + the fake fall, apparently was, according to the Spanish fans, enough to finally clinch that third gold!!! 🤣 Which careened them directly into yet another bottom five iceberg, ofc. 💅

________________________________________________________________

215. Benjamin Ingrosso - “Dance you off” Sweden 2018

[2018 Review here]

Sure, Benji can be green. It’s been a year since he introduced himself to us as everyone’s favourite bottom darling and he has aged well for me. Unlike Benji’s position in the bedroom, the Benji memes are still ACTIVE:

Don’t care too much about the song tho, lol~

________________________________________________________________

214. Electro Velvet - “Still in love with you” United Kingdom 2015

2015 had two nil pointers and somehow this blacklighted, white-man-scatting, dubstep/charleston Frankenstein monstruosity of a song was neither of them?😂😂  AND THEY BEAT FRANCE AS WELL LMFAO ELECTROWNAGE!!! WE STAN!!! but only ironically, though~

[jjennaj]

if he makes it past next week, they’re going to give him a Charleston or rumba bet

BETS BETS BETS.... anyone wanna take bets !?

I just want a damn cha cha lmfao. I feel like I’m not asking for much. 😩

[dermontag]

Team "Sexrakete" ist zurück "Let's Dance" trotzt Corona-Ausfällen 10.03.2022, 15:40 Uhr Ob Rumba, Walzer oder Cha Cha Cha - das Parkett soll auch am Freitag bei "Let's Dance" wieder glühen. Und das, obwohl die Show weiterhin unter mehreren Corona-Ausfällen leidet. Immerhin ist Bastian Bielendorfer wieder am Start, um mit dem Team "Sexrakete" abzuheben. Nie zuvor mussten die Teilnehmerinnen und Teilnehmer bei "Let's Dance" unter derart düsteren Umständen an den Start gehen. Vom Ukraine-Krieg sind mehrere von ihnen, die russische oder ukrainische Wurzeln oder Angehörige haben, unmittelbar betroffen. Doch auch die Corona-Pandemie macht der Show weiterhin zu schaffen. So wurde zuletzt bekannt, dass mittlerweile auch Schauspieler Timur Ülker positiv getestet wurde und deshalb an der dritten regulären Folge an diesem Freitag ab 20.15 Uhr bei RTL (auch auf RTL+ abrufbar) nicht teilnehmen kann. Vergangene Woche hatte Ülker bereits mit Patricija Ionel getanzt, nachdem sich zuvor seine eigentliche Partnerin Malika Dzumaev angesteckt hatte und pausieren musste. Neben Ülker werden überdies zwei weitere Promis am Freitag fehlen: Lilly zu Sayn-Wittgenstein-Berleburg und Caroline Bosbach hatten zuletzt ebenfalls positive Test-Ergebnisse bescheinigt bekommen. Auch für sie gibt es vorerst keinen Einsatz auf dem Tanzparkett. Die Show findet statt Lilly zu Sayn-Wittgenstein-Berleburg war erst in der Vorwoche nach ihrem eigentlichen Aus in die Show zurückgekehrt, da Schauspieler Hardy Krüger jr. wegen mehrerer positiver Corona-Tests in Folge komplett aufgeben musste. Auch Tanzprofi Andrzej Cibis fiel coronabedingt in der Show aus. In der "Kennenlernshow" am 18. Februar zum Auftakt der 15. Staffel war es ebenfalls zu einem Corona-Ausfall gekommen: Juror Joachim Llambi wurde während seiner Quarantäne von "Let's Dance"-Vorjahressieger Rúrik Gíslason vertreten. Trotz allem hält RTL an der Fortsetzung des Formats fest. Wie sich die Corona-Fälle auf die Sendung auswirken werden, werde zu einem späteren Zeitpunkt bekannt gegeben, teilte der Sender mit. "Unsere Produktion findet unter 2G+-Regelung statt und Freitag geht es weiter", so die klare Ansage. Erkältung auskuriert Wenigstens eine positive Nachricht gibt es dann aber doch. So hat Comedian Bastian Bielendorfer seine Erkältung, die ihn vergangene Woche noch niedergestreckt hatte, auskuriert und geht mit seiner Tanzpartnerin Ekaterina Leonova wieder an den Start. "Team 'Sexrakete' hebt wieder ab", heizte "Ekat" bereits zu Beginn dieser Woche die Erwartungen an das Duo auf ihrer Instagram-Seite an. Bielendorfer und Leonova werden am Freitag einen Cha Cha Cha zu "Sexy And I Know It" von LMFAO vollführen. Zu den weiteren Auftritten, auf die sich die Zuschauerinnen und Zuschauer freuen dürfen, gehören unter anderem eine Rumba von Moderatorin Amira Pocher und Massimo Sinató, ein Langsamer Walzer von Sängerin Michelle und Christian Polanc sowie ein Charleston von Musiker Mike Singer und Christina Luft.

[spookyscarydarky]

Dark loves doing the Foxtrot as it's romantic and they just glide around the ballroom, metaphorically, sometimes literally, floating in air. In terms of solo dances tho, Dark kills the Salsa dance moves, he has made people hard just by watching him move. Wilford's loves doing the Tango, it's sharp and abrupt movements, getting close to his partner, chests touching, a highly energetic dance. Solo dances, Wilford loves Charleston, it's an energetic quirky dance and it reminds him of the 20's -😶

Okay yes same!  Because I pictured that Dark prefers more romantic/smooth/sensual dances and Wilford preferred fast-paced dances that involve quick movements and a LOT of energy!  100% accepted! 

Drunk Dark and Wilford end up passing out in the meeting room and everyone else finds them the next morning cuddling on top of the table and have to slowly back our before they wake up/someone (Bing probably) accidentally wakes them up and Dark just looks like a disgruntled cat whilst Wilf tries to shoot them before they both just fall back to sleep

I love this so much because it leaves the question of why were they in the meeting room in the first place??  Why are they cuddling on the table??  Who let them have alcohol??

And Wilford just blindly shooting at the door until they’re left alone so they can go back to sleep LMFAO

[rem-is-best-almond]

Thoughts on the Special DwD Event あなたも私もホントはアクマか!？Are you and I both Devils?! (01.05.2016)

After almost 2 years of waiting for a DVD release for this event, I decided to take it upon myself to use Twitter’s shitty search engine to search Event Reports for it and I honestly don’t regret it??? But at the same time it just added to my salt that this won’t be seeing a DVD release anytime soon :))))))

Note: Contains Spoilers, proceed with Caution though since we all won’t be seeing this any time soon or probably EVER, might as well just spoil yourself 8D These are all based off a detailed Report I read on twitter IN JAPANESE about the full event and it’s the closest I will ever get to experiencing it (which I really REALLY want to) so your guess is just as good as mine unless you don’t understand Japanese then feel free to ask me anything :D

THIS.EVENT.WAS.THE.BOMB.

It was a flurry of Emotions even for me, who basically just read a Report for it so imagine if I actually was there???

Basically, you could call this event something that was meant to be remembered for both the cast and the audience and it’s honestly a shame we won’t have anything to remember it by (Except for Event Reports and I’m SOOO thankful to that person who went through all that scribbling on her note pad throughout the whole 2 sessions JUST to write a full detailed report on it, you’re the True MVP) .

Though onto the actual content during this event, they actually went with something like a Musical Short Story with some fun seiyuu corners in between scripts. The event being split into two sessions: Day and Night, have different titles for the short stories similar to how the anime episodes were titled; The Day session was titled “The Charleston of Reminiscence and Dreams” and The Night Session, “The Minuet of Reunions and Farewells”. Though both sessions are basically the same story, they actually have 2 different outcomes. Meaning if you only bought the Ticket for the Day session, you wouldn’t be able to see the other outcome of the story and vice versa.

Like, can you believe it?? That this whole event was basically built on the concept of having a choice like in an interactive Visual Novel and the choice was whether you bought the Ticket for the Night session or The Day session X’DD  Though those who were willing to pay for twice the price for both Tickets get the best of both worlds and Avex (The main organizer) gets them ticket sales yet doesn’t release a DVD for the Event :))) (I’m salty OK?)

Back to the topic at hand, you can say that this short story was something like a mildly self aware alternative timeline set after the events of the anime that was also the producer’s personal crack fic… with its own good and bad end…yeah, this was wild but it was a good kind of wild and everybody cried at the end (Of the Night session that is, details coming up) so :’D

Here’s a summary of the story…or basically the whole story www:

The story starts off with Lindo narrating about the life of the Tachibana family four months after the events of the Anime ( Which is around the time of this event, Avex you genius), he and Ritsuka continued going to school whereas Maria continues her career as a Translator. Lindo apparently still trains his exorcist skills but of course, hopes that he wouldn’t have to use it again. He then talks about the atmosphere around the school being lonely, noting how lifeless the school’s greenhouse was, or how there wasn’t anybody kicking down classroom doors now, or that weird student flying up and down from the third floor,neither is the pomeranian that was constantly yelping nor that weird chorus that came out from the Third Library every time he passed by it, but most importantly how there wasn’t signs saying “Mushrooms are strictly prohibited”  around the school compound anymore, other than that, life was fine and dandy for this Siscon. On Top of that, Ritsuka’s frilly apron was officially his now as he’s mainly the one doing the cooking in the house www

Meanwhile in the Demon realm, Glax calls upon Rem and gives him a brand new mission to accomplish and that is *drum rolls* to host a Radio broadcasting program and win the heart of all the civilians in the demon realm to vote for him as king now that Maksis is revived wwwwww Urie and Mage wish Rem good luck and were off to spend their own leisure time before he pulls them back and says that Glax wanted the four of them to host it wwww Urie tries to find an excuse saying that he was busy preparing for a party with his butterflies and Mage says that he had to give his underlings Training until Shiki, being the one that actually doesn’t mind joining, chimes in and says that if they hosted the Radio Program in the middle of the night, the broadcast tower in the demon realm might just be able to transmit its signals to the Human realm as well which means that Ritsuka might be able to listen to their program and Urie and Mage were officially in with the group lol.

They then proceed to think of a Title for their Program and decided to go with Shiki’s idea: All Night Makai (Basically All Night Demon Realm www). To which Mage, Urie and Rem (Rather adorably) say out the title in a rather confused tone, splitting the three words in random places among the three of themselves until Shiki got annoyed and asked if they just hated him that much that they aren’t including him in their mini charade and the three of them say that there’s just a weird sense of Deja Vu as if they had experienced the very same thing somewhere… like this was another timeline. The four of them ponder about this with Urie noting that it’s probably true as he had caught wind about how the activation of the Forbidden Grimoire had caused several Parallel worlds to occur which resulted in a confused Mage as he struggles to keep up with their ‘foreign’ language though still mistakes Jikansen (Timelines) for Shinkansen (Bullet Train) in Japanese LMAO. Rem basically explains the game mechanics of the DwD game describes it as two different doors that lead you to several outcomes depending on which door you choose and Mage finally gets it by saying that “It’s just like a Game!” (To which I snickered cause this level of foreshadowing is glorious).

The four of them got back to coming up with a content for their program and came to a conclusion that they’d each do their own mini segments: Urie’s lectures on “Amor” : A sure way to gain the heart of your beloved’ (Urie has some glorious English www) , Rem’s “I’ll tell you what really happened back then” (in which he tells you something you didn’t know about certain scenes involving him in the anime lololol), Mage’s ハジゲテイッチャワ(whatever-the-fuck-those-Katakana-actually-mean) NIGHT and Shiki’s ‘Are you shivering with excitement tonight?” (Where he attempts to make you go ゾクゾクするね～ with him). The program ended up being a success and managed to rake in a 90% rating but Shiki just had to pour cold water over the other 3 saying that it’s because they’re the only Radio broadcasting program in the Demon realm LMFAO. The four then pondered about whether Ritsuka was able to listen to their midnight program.

Back in the Human realm, Lindo decides to listen to some Radio after completing his daily exorcist training and actually comes across their Program but doesn’t recognize any of their voices and isn’t able to catch the pun in the Title wwwww. He thinks of letting Ritsuka listen to it but it dawned on him that she was having a sleep over at Azuna’s and laments that it’d be a long night without her XD At Azuna’s place, Azuna presented Ritsuka with an assortment of Creampuffs from Ritsuka’s favorite pastry shop, Aspiration  (In the night session, Azuna’s showing her newly bought pink pajamas instead) when she suddenly sighs in relief much to Azuna’s confusion. Ritsuka confesses that she had a nightmare where she dreamt of Azuna dying protecting her and was just glad that it was all just a dream ;;; Azuna says that she’s had the same dream too and wonders if it’s something that happens in another Timeline ( geez, I wonder :”))  ) but tells Ritsuka if that were true, she wouldn’t regret a single thing about it, because Ritsuka’s her precious friend. Ritsuka responds saying that she too would do anything to save her if Azuna ever got into trouble. Kaze no yokan starts playing and Ritsuka and Azuna took turns singing each verse, ending it with a duet during the final altered verse of the song.  

The scene changes back to the demon realm and Mage has some big news for the other 3. He heard news about the Forbidden Door connected to the Human realm (I’m assuming it’s the Gates of Gehenna?), which was said to open only once every 99 years, was going to be open in a few days and says that he’s jumping on the chance to go back to the human realm. Urie and Shiki decide that they’re going too but Rem hesitates, saying that there isn’t a reason for them to go there ;w; ( Boy was probably worried about Glax being furious at his departure…) The others urge him to be more open about what he truly wishes for and this is where the script cuts to a session featuring exclusive monologues for each boy (including Lindo), talking about the what ifs of their relationship with Ritsuka (kinda disappointed that the monologue was the same for Rem in both sessions but eh whatever, he had a solo performance at the end after all lol) . The session ends with the Reprise version of Mademoiselle (which had the same arrangement as the one sung by the stage play cast in the first musical, slow and rather bittersweet).

Rem finally decides that he really wants to go see Ritsuka (after 4 months of not seeing her XDD) but rejects Urie’s idea of fooling his father into thinking that they were at the broadcast station by pre-recording their weekly radio program (in the Day session, he agrees to go along with it) and instead says that he’ll try his best to inform his father about this straightforwardly. At night, the gate finally opens and the four of them enter it while hoping that wherever they end up at isn’t a threat to their lives =v= (Shiki on the other hand wants that to happen ww) The four of them ended up arriving back at the third library and the music for Warewa Shikou Gakuen Setokai starts playing (cause why the hell not). Meanwhile, Lindo and Azuna are on their way to the third library after witnessing his exorcist pendant glowing brightly and as Lindo puts it: ‘Fiercely saying “Say Yes!”’(Yeah, wtf lmao) when Ritsuka comes running after them, saying that her king crown was glowing too, much to Lindo’s dismay as he had told her to stay at home wwww. The three of them burst into the library and came face to face with the four devils, much to Ritsuka’s joy as she happily greeted all of them but of course, Rem first :3 The trio immediately surrounded her (before Rem could get to her I assume www) and are onto their usual banter about who she had wanted to see first but is warded off by Azuna’s holy water (reference to episode 8 www) lol. Lindo whines about Ritsuka not listening to him by choosing to chase after them and the trio chirped about how that’s so Ritsuka lmao. While they’re at it, Rem and Ritsuka reconcile with each other and Dance with Destinies starts playing, before being cut off after the first verse as Rem proposes that there is another way that they could be together.

Day Session Ending: Before Rem could make a decision, Glax bursts into the scene, furious that Rem tricked him. It’s revealed that Rem’s excuse for not being able to obtain the Grimoire was because he chose to help a human, which Glax already considers a punishable sin so finding out that it wasn’t only a human but the grimoire itself, Glax drags the four of them back to the Demon realm, saying that he would engrave it in Rem’s body to never do such a thing again as an Arlond ;;; Ritsuka is heartbroken but Azuna and Lindo reassure her that they would definitely meet again someday. We then cut to a scene where Rem laments about how weak he was for not being able to confront his father about his decision  and vows to be stronger so that he could see her again someday.

Night Session Ending: Dance with Destinies starts playing again at the fourth verse and the lyrics are adapted for Rem. He chooses to live as a human beside Ritsuka and the trio note how he has changed and are amused at what possibilities the future would have for the 2 of them. Lindo (Hatano Wataru was unexpectedly crying at this point lol :”) ) asks if that was even possible, and Urie tells him that there’s actually plenty of devils living in the human realm in the guise of regular people and points to the crowd below the stage XD Mage then exclaims to the crowd that from now on, they’re Rem’s senpais when it comes to living in the human world ( AWWWWW). Shiki notices Lindo crying but he denies it and says that it was just his holy water and tearfully says SARUBESHII LMFAO (This part was mostly an ad-lib because it was unexpected www). The story comes to an end as Rem promises Ritsuka to never let her go no matter what and that the both of them will walk together towards the future.

Ah, what can I say, this short story (yeah, short XD) was actually pretty fun and filled with all sorts of emotions. The thing that I’m most surprised about is how Timelines were brought up quite a few times in this story and they even managed to have it related to the activation of the Grimoire. I liked the fact that it was self-aware that it could be a different Timeline on its own (which it was, judging by how Azuna was alive in this story and its rather cracky moments) and honestly thought that it was much more ‘Timeline -themed’ than the movie was even though the theme of the movie was supposed to be “Timelines”. The nods towards the game’s existence and how the different routes in it can also be described as timelines was honestly creative imo and it’s just such a shame that the movie didn’t utilized this concept. Although the songs were mostly reused, I liked the fact that some of the lyrics and music arrangements were adapted to fit the current situation and I thought that it was a pretty smart move by the producers to maintain a sort of live musical feel to it. The only disappointment I have is that I wish Ritsuka had more dialogue and that she’d be the one to narrate the first few lines of the story instead of Lindo. Like I want to hear her thoughts on life after the events of the anime and of course her thoughts on Rem and the others being gone, it felt that she had more of a passive voice in this story and I can’t help but wonder if it’s the producers attempt to not make the story ‘too’ RemRitsu inclined but eh, at least we got a live duet lol (I’ll just hope that they’re saving it for a more serious sequel, let a girl dream). Another thing worth mentioning in this story and probably my most favourite part of it, is the relationship between the four devils. They had so many comical dialogue with each other it’s hard not to love them in this story :3  I also really liked how Lindo narrated the story at the beginning with how oblivious he is about why those things were missing in school www. This is especially hilarious if you know just who those quirky habits belong to =w= Glax and surprisingly, Holland (in Rem’s segment of the radio program) do make an appearance in this story but only as voice recordings, to which I wonder who voiced Holland lol (I hope it’s Subaru =v= ).

As for the seiyuu part of this event. there was actually a segment in between the script where they had to respond to comments from the fans in the audience and decide whether they’re a human or a devil in the day session wwwww , whereas they had to respond to comments about the anime in the night session (Reader: Hatano Wataru). I found it pretty sweet that they actually try to make out who was the person that wrote the comment in the crowd and acknowledge them especially that part where Souma asked a fan if they’re saying her pen name right www (They were debating whether it’s said as U-S-A or just usa lol). Like I mentioned in my summary of the story, Hatano Wataru cried during the finale of the story but managed to stabilize his voice when he was singing Unmei no Coda and BL(U)CK BASIS (short versions of both) right after. He explains that the reason for his tears was that he thought that scene with Souma and Himika was beautiful (He’s such a proud senpai ;w;) so everyone starts calling him Mama Lindo lolol (Souma: Okaa-san? XD). The final cast comments came after Pentacle’s version of Kakusei no air (Which actually has an official recording but it’s only available in the 1st volume of the BD for the anime :”D) and things got emotional for everyone, especially Souma as he started crying during his turn ( He was kinda holding it back all this time) ;;; I actually translated his comment but I haven’t posted it here so here it is:

;w;

Honestly, it’s really such a shame and an even bigger Mystery as to why this Event didn’t have a DVD release. So much heart was put into it only for it to remain as only a memory OTL  At first, I thought it was mainly Rejet’s problem but turns out, it was Avex who was the main organiser and I’m just so???? Though I jokingly think that it’s because the cameraman forgot to record the whole event so they couldn’t make a DVD =v= I honestly hope that isn’t what really happened though cause it’d be really 何で神様？！ORZ and I’d feel really bad for the Cast cause the songs that they only get to perform once live didn’t get recorded , to think that Souma really wanted a DVD release as well…

Overall, this event was indeed a special one and I’ll forever be salty that it won’t be having a DVD release nor an official recording album for the event-adapted songs. Why wasn’t this the movie instead?

[qvietwhispers]

INTRODUCING; OLIVER WATERS

Age:  23

Gender: Cis Man

Pronouns: He/Him

Occupation: Bowling/Arcade Attendant for Insert Coin

Trigger Warnings:  death (during childbirth), emotional abuse, physical abuse, homophobia (brief mention), ptsd (brief mention)

BACKGROUND

Oliver was born to the Kendall family, known for being strict, rich assholes. However, Arabella Kendall was a soft, warm-hearted girl and most people didn’t believe she’d come from such horrid parents. Arabella never had much luck in love, and had found herself falling for someone she knew she shouldn’t. A  man whom cheated on his wife with her. It was a one time thing, something Arabella knew couldn’t happen again, something she wanted to pretend never happened. Except, she fell pregnant, and she left her parents to have the child, not wanting him to grow up as she had. 

Arabella was determined to make it on her own, but unfortunately, she passed giving birth to Oliver, leaving him with a name and a small wooden charm she’d carved him, that he wears on a string around his neck and refuses to take it off.

His Grandparents were alerted and they immediately brought him back to their home, as they had still been Arabella’s next of kin, as she’d not gotten around to changing it. They didn’t want to make the mistakes they made with their daughter and this time, they were far more cruel in the hopes he wouldn’t turn out as soft. They wanted Ollie to be a hardened businessman, shaping him to be the perfect family heir.

He was home schooled, in an attempt to cut him off from making connections with people that could ‘corrupt’ him, so he’s a little awkward and unsure how to interact with people most of the time.

Over the years, his grandfather’s treatment grew crueler, and Ollie became littered in bruises and scars. He was terrified, and barely left the house. 

When he did, however, he was found by Ellie Waters, who had been a close friend of Arabella’s and promised to look out for her son. She was horrified at the treatment of the boy, and had him taken away from his grandparents, who were sent to jail. 

Ellie took Ollie in herself, and at first, he was confused and overwhelmed. He suddenly had a new family, but he really didn’t know what that meant. Eventually, he warmed up to the Waters, and is forever grateful to them for accepting him into their family when he knew they didn’t have to.

The summer he was 16, Ollie met Zachary Simms. The first boy he’d ever had a crush on, and how Ollie realised he was gay. The two had a brief summer romance as Zach actually lived in Charleston at the time, and he was also Ollie’s first kiss. 

Ollie came out when he was 17, and at first he was terrified, as his grandparents had been openly homophobic, but the Water’s accepted him with open arms. Slowly but surely, he began to come out of his shell more.

Ollie is very shy, and very awkward, and actually went to school when he was adopted by the Waters’. However, starting school at 15 wasn’t the best experience, he had no idea how to talk to people, and he struggled hard to keep up with the rest of his year group. Eventually he just scraped passable grades, and actually made a few friends.

Due to this, Ollie didn’t go to college, instead working at the Arcade where he’d spent a lot of his time after the Waters’ had adopted him and the boy had gained freedom.

He’s not actually dated anyone, apart from that summer romance with Zach back when they were in HS. He’s occasionally made out with one or two people while he’s drunk, but he’s a hopeless romantic at heart but he’s also terrified off being that vulnerable with people. 

Has absolutely no idea who his father is, and has no intention of finding out, as he had always been told the man didn’t want him. 

He’s come a lot more out of his shell these days, but sometimes he can still shut down if anything triggers memories of his abuse. He’s been diagnosed with PTSD, and goes to a therapist every week. 

CONNECTION IDEAS

friends

past crushes

drunken make outs (he probably freaked and ran away)

maybe someone he friendzoned lmfao

[theurbanologist]

Is It The Truth?

“Do you know who we are?”

I’m being queried by a rather tall woman wearing a tight-fitting shirt bedazzled with the words “His”. She is surrounded by a squad of at least 10, maybe 12, women wearing shirts bedazzled with the words “Her Squad”.

“We are the Atlanta Shahs of Sunset—do you know what that is?”, she asks.

Her question is a compound question asking seemingly about Atlanta and what I believe to be one of the hundreds of reality shows that aggressively dominate basic cable programming.  

“I know Atlanta a bit and I’m not sure about the Shahs of Sunset”, I reply.

“You should watch it.”, she tells me.

Her friends are gathering around the fountain here in Charleston’s Marion Square Park to take photos. Some of them perch precariously on the fountain’s edge. A Charleston police officer walks by and says “Be careful ladies! The night is young.”

“Do you want me to take a photo of you and your friends?”, I ask her.

“Girls, get together!” They do and they stand right in front of a homeless man who’s camped out on the fountain in front of an inscription that reads “Is it the truth?”

They assemble quickly. At the center of the attention is the bachelorette of the hour, and they all pull out a variety of phallic party favors that are commonly associated with such gatherings.

Snap, snap, snap and their photos are done.

They move quickly down the diagonal path that cuts across the park chanting the words “SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTSSHOTSSHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTSSHOTSSHOTS”.

It is a rallying cry, a call for the good times, and a popular night time lyric since it arrived on the scene well over a decade ago, thank you LMFAO featuring Lil Jon.

All of this might just seem like another Friday in a charming Southern city, albeit the 13th day of the month, which is a combination that some might find most tragic. There is also the coronavirus specter, which has led to the cancellation of public schools, colleges, and the virtual cessation of all professional sports.

Unusual times, yet people still feel that they must gather, regardless of any pressing circumstances.

This gathering was not unusual during my long walk-a-bout in Charleston on this Friday.

Many people milled about the Charleston visitor center asking about garden tours, trips to Fort Sumter, and whether or not the pedicabs could take them across the Arthur J. Ravenel Jr. Bridge.

Spoiler: They can not.

When I asked one of the visitor center attendants if I could have a list of closed attractions, she replied “Oh, nothing is closed, that’s for sure. This town runs on tourism, so we are still open for business until DHEC says otherwise.” Her reference to South Carolina’s Department of Health and Environmental Control was lost on me, so I nodded and smiled with a sense of “Ah, of course.”

Throughout the day, I did see signs of small change, including hand sanitizer dispensers at Leon’s on King Street (great hush puppies), an update about cleaning procedure improvements at the Frances Marion Hotel, and a sign at the CVS near the College of Charleston informing people that they could only buy 5 sanitizing products at a time.

It didn’t matter, as they were all sold out. “We might get some next Wednesday”, the store manager told me.

Nearby at the College of Charleston visitor center, a graduating senior named Ryan informed me that his program in Barcelona was cancelled. “You know, we might not even get our commencement in Cistern Yard this year. Kind of depressing. Go take a look and you’ll see what I mean. They filmed some of The Patriot and The Notebook over there.”

I thank Ryan and I walk over to Cistern Yard. It’s the type of setting that reminds me of my own commencement in Harper Quadrangle at the University of Chicago. It’s an inviting green space that you can easily imagine transformed into a place where family and friends could gather to bid a peaceful farewell to four years, while also thinking about what may be next.

As I wander away, I look at a list of recommended watering holes that Ryan wrote out for me. The name “Burns Alley” speaks to me and I remember his description: “It’s a college dive with all sorts of characters. Local beers on tap, you know, that kind of thing.”

I head over in that direction, thinking that a cold beer would be perfect.

I’ll probably pass on the SHOTS SHOTS  SHOTS SHOTSSHOTSSHOTS.