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#it doesnt help that she has her actual father in her life and likes him more despite the traumatic experiences shes had with him as
bergamotmandarin · 11 months
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#bergamot ocs#this is the ship crew!#rosalin is actually the oldest oc out of all of them in terms of creating them#i kinda repurposed her a bit for the sake of this story but now shes got a life of her own#rosalin is a princess trying to get her kingdom back from her stepmother#shes on the search for a cure for her father who has fallen ill with an unknown disease that left him in a coma like state#then theres loxana!! shes a sea fae who wanted to see the world so she joined the ship crew#her and rosalin are girlfriends 💕 theyre so cute together 💕#loxana is from the deep sea but she spent some time near the coast before joining the crew#damian is a wizard who rosalin hired for some extra help#he didnt need the job but he took it for the adventure. he doesnt really consider it a job either and actively tries to bother rosalin 😂😂#theyre friends but she doesnt know it 💕 he does like her he just thinks she needs to chill sometimes so he messes with her#dw she needs it 😂#hes actually a very powerful wizard but he tends to avoid confrontation#his form of helping is enchanting rosalins weapons and encouraging her when theres danger 😂#and brimstone! they pick him up later and hes a little spitfire. literally#hes a fire elemental who kinda stowed away on their ship when they came to port#they let him stay because loxana likes him and rosalin cant say no to her#hes actually a great help! hes very crafty and makes a great heater when theyre at sea 😂#despite his demeanor hes actually very sweet! after a while he does truly care about the whole crew and thinks of them as family#rosalin and loxana both have younger siblings and damian and brimstone are both only children so the dynamic just works great#they bitch and fight but they all do care 💕#ill post the last three tomorrow lmao i gotta have a lil break between these 😂 sorry for all the moodboards i just love my ocs 💕💕
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fizzyorange-v2 · 1 year
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just talking to my friend in dms about how at first when q!charlie started calming down from his rampage i was kinda upset cause i WANTED a full villain arc i wanted blood and rage and a massacre but then I kept watching and realised how much of a fucking idiot I was to underestimate charlie slimecicle’s rp skills like that. because charlie isn’t just playing a character hell bent on righteous revenge for his daughter, he’s playing a character actually grieving that daughter.
it’s obvious now that i think about it that the initial revenge plot to kill all the eggs and his repeated self affirmations that juanaflippa isn’t gone and that it can all just be reset are clearly just him entering the denial and anger stages. and that later scenes after the rest of the server finally backed him into a corner and calmed him down and he had that heart wrenching scene looking at juanaflippa’s photo, asking for a literal trial for her life and soul back and then that whooooole bar scene, that he has then entered the bargaining and depression stages.
Because the truth is, q!charlie doesn’t actually want to kill anyone (except Mariana lolll), he especially doesn’t want to kill any of the eggs! All he wanted was to be a good dad. And I think that that’s part of the reason he as a character failed so hard to actually tangibly hurt anyone during this stream. He was a mess, crying screaming yelling clawing trying to do something, anything to save his daughter. Anything to fix it all. That scene of him failing to break into Phil’s house haunts me.
But I think there’s something especially tragic that before Juanaflippa, q!charlie probably was the kind of character to hurt others without caring, he seemed to have no idea about empathy or healthy relationships before her thats for sure. He’s literally already killed TWO eggs before this, so causally and with such ease. But his love for his daughter improved him, and it changed him, and it made him just enough of a better person that when that daughter was taken from him, suddenly even to save her he can’t fucking do it anymore.
I also really appreciate how everyone else on the server reacted to him too. They didn’t at all treat him like some big bad scary villain like I originally would I’ve expected. Sure they were understandably wary and protective, but every single one of them weren’t so much angry at him as… WORRIED for him. And it really helped put it in perspective that this isn’t some guy going on a hashtag villain arc, but immersed me in oh fuck. This is a guy that just lost his daughter. And all his friends and fellow parents know. And they aren’t scared of him, they’re concerned for him. They aren’t full of fear… but pity. Because they know. They know what he’s just lost. And they understand. And they’re trying to be there for him.
And Charlie despite all the grand speeches and diabolical plots and not so carefully placed land mines… doesn’t really care how he gets Juanaflippa back, as long as she’s with him again.
Just man,,,, the way Charlie performed this character’s grief is so fucking stellar and SO fucking excruciating. The part that genuinely broke me was in that photo scene when he said: “i'm sorry flippa... i thought i could change something- i thought i could undo it, thought i could make it right... now i see that there's no way this can be made right...” which already fucking ow ow OW and clearly him finally exiting denial/anger straight into depression but then he whispers THIS FUCKING BIT: “it wasnt even on purpose… i know that... it doesnt make it better… what do i do juanaflippa?” LIKE FUCK!!!! FUCK!!!! OKAY!!!!!
Anyway massive props to everyone for the rp today but ESPECIALLY charlie for this agonisingly accurate and visceral depiction of grief that I somehow was NOT expecting. I thought we were going to get villain arc egg massacre angst and instead we got father mourning his daughter trying futilely to do anything to bring her back angst. I’m never fucking recovering from this one.
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listofwhyyouloveher · 4 months
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Hi dear I hope you're doing well and I was hoping if you can do the whole greaser gang with a s/o that's like Fiona Gallagher from the show shameless? Like she's taking care of her six siblings and her dad who's usually at the bar or passed out somewhere. Their mother ran out and is mentally ill so their s/o is left to be her siblings mother/father/ and nurse fill free to ignore if you want to do and I hope you have a good day!
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Summary: The Outsider x Fiona Gallagher!Reader Warnings:mentions of absent mother, drinking, very toxic adult behavior, dysfunctional family Author's Note: gonna be busy tmrw and weekend again, ill try and post 1 fic per day but no promises.
PONYBOY CURTIS
Ponyboy doesn’t really live in a dysfunctional family, yes his home life is tough but Darry loves him and tries his best and pony knows that
However, pony cant mentally put himself in Darry’s shoes of having no-one to lean on and having to take care of many siblings
When he first met you, he was absolutely smitten. And when you told him of your problems, he thought you were the toughest chick in town
He often asks Darry what to do to take a couple of burdens off your shoulder. He applies it to you and also at home, you’ve made him a better person.
JOHNNY CADE
Has a dysfunctional family and can understand, to an extent..he still gets fed sometimes and doesn’t have to work to stay in his home
But he doesn’t have a hard time adjusting to you.
He’s very open and loves your siblings, so he tries to take them out as many times as possible to give you some rest.
He genuinely doesnt understand how your parents could have left you doing all this by yourself when you’re such a perfect girl.
SODAPOP CURTIS
Soda admires you like you’re a work of art. 
He takes everything into consideration, for example, if he wants to take you on a date he’ll invite some of the gang members to hang out with your siblings and keep them away
Never asks you for anything, not to rant, vent or anything. He feels as if his problems could never measure up to yours so his whole world revolves around you.
Tries to spend as much of his money as possible to get you nice things and spoil you.
STEVE RANDLE
Steve understands how tough it is for you mentally. He’ll often stop by your place with something for you, like a box of chocolates or something. 
Whenever he’s over, he makes an effort to get to know and play with your siblings, he even was going to introduce himself to your dad. You convinced him it was a bad idea so he didnt.
He makes it known that you can tell him anything, literally anything, and he’d listen. He also wants you to know that you can call him anytime and he’d come for you.
Reassures you that he won’t ever leave you, that you’re special and he’s madly in love with you.
TWO-BIT MATHEWS
Two-Bit has some kid experience so he tries his hardest to keep your siblings company and even brings his sisters for ‘playdates’
Really enjoys spending time with you and would even do the chores around the house with you to keep talking with you.
He’s not very good at comforting people and he tries to make up for it by using his humor. You get where he’s coming from and it often helps a lot actually.
Tries his best to look nice for you when he comes over, he wants you to know he’s not a washed up nobody like your parents and wants to be a rolemodel to your siblings.
DARRY CURTIS
Often tells you that you’re perfect and that your siblings will grow so much better with you as their ‘parent’. He once made you cry because of what he said and he just held you in his arms while you sobbed.
He can sort of relate to what you’re going through but his is not as extreme as yours. 
Whenever he can he drops by to help you. Date night consists of making dinner for your siblings, washing the dishes and having a late night dinner together after you put your siblings to bed.
He knows you'd make a perfect wife since he’s old enough to marry, just waiting on the right time to pop the question.
DALLAS WINSTON
Dallas is insensitive and rude to you. He knows what you’re going through, he just doesn’t care.
However, once you caught him putting on a bandaid for your younger brother. He wasn’t kind about it, saying things like “can’t you do this yourself?” but he still did it.
He knows you saw it and thinks that hanging around your house and helping you with chores and siblings will keep you quiet about it
He doesn’t like kids, but he tolerates them for his reputation, and because you’re growing on him.
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linimoonlight · 7 months
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All the people who Bad wrote a letter to...
Aypierre just lost Maximus, his love, and has not been coping too well. Now he lost his business partner, his partner in crime, his friend and one of the fathers of his child. He doesnt only have to go through this for himself but also for their daughter.
Baghera was traumatized by her best friend in purgatory and purgatory itself and the assumed loss of her children broke her. She just got back from hell just to learn that said best friend is dying. They didnt even really have time to reconnect. But they still have time to fix this, right? Of course Bad wont actually die. Its Bad after all!
Foolish never thought Bad could die. He never imagined a life without him. Because after all they were both immortal, right? Bad was always there to annoy the shit out of him. He was his best friend. That wasnt supposed to change. Ever.
Bagi has only known Bad while he was sick. But he was also one of the first friends she made on this island. He was always there to help or just hang out in the lonely nights. She always wanted to help him, get his kids back, get his color back, make im happy, save him from dying. But there was nothing she could do. She failed. Just like she failed to protect her daughter.
Cellbit was the letter that was never written. The person who lost himself when he was a kid and was saved by Bad. Bad is the only person who really knows him and all the darkness. But also the person who reminds him about these parts of himself he hates the most. And all he ever wanted was to make his mentor proud...
It really is funny when you have an immortal demon character who becomes the constant in everyones lifes and then suddenly dies and leaves all of them a little lost.
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bahrtofane · 6 months
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promises under the stars - jude pov
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Jude never meant to replace you. But that's how it ended up isn't it. There's no one to blame but himself, no one behind each and every decision that now has him standing at the end of an aisle, waiting for his bride. A bride that isn't you. 
highly highly recommend reading this fic first. or else it kinda doesnt make a whole lot of sense on its own. then come back here. this is kinda like a part 2? kinda
shout out to this anon for this idea ! hope you like it
word count - 2.1K+
watch it - well angst, yet again. pregnancy talks the works. sorry if i used ur name for his wife xoxo. enjooyyy
p.s. - shout out to @anadiasmount for the inspo to create the image at the end ! go read all her stuff yall so good
—————-
He thinks the moment it all comes crumbling down is when he gets word of you getting mobbed. After you've just been to Madrid with him. And he can't do anything about it but send security and hope it doesn't get out of hand. 
He expects you to give up right then and there, curse him and wish for him to have nothing to do with your life again. But you don't. You can never bring yourself to blame him. To hate him.
Then comes your whole family suing him for something completely out of his control. Fresh after your father has threatened him, this is just what they need to come after him legally. 
It's okay because they don't win. Of course they don't. How stupid do you have to be to try and sue for going on vacation for someone you love. He wants to call you every step of the way. But his lawyer warns against it. So he doesn't. And you’re left in the dark.
Do you even know that they've tried to sue?
He can guess what you're thinking. He knows you too well. You think this is him taking an exit from his life. He doesn't want it to be this way. Maybe its for the best after all he finds himself thinking. Back to the thoughts of letting you go for your good as much as his. 
But like most things in life, things get muddy. 
He spends his time in a whirlwind of emotions, all leading back to you. He can not go more than an hour without you in his mind. 
Even if his texting habits dont show it, he wants to talk to you every second of every day. Do you remember when he would call you to complain about the mundane. When he stubbed his toe, or drank out of his mind, pressing his nose against the screen trying to feel you against him. 
Things have changed. He’s no longer the same youthful Jude with a penchant for recklessness. Taking day trips to see you, skirting around paparazzi and your families just to have a moment together.
He misses you, but he’s scared to reach out again. So he remains silent and an onlooker to your life. 
Funny isn't it. World class player with more money than he knows what to do with is scared to text you in fear of what your families will say or do. 
And yet, he can’t stay away for long can he. His resolve breaks on your birthday. Months and years have gone by. Legal cases are drawn out go figure. And he's been so busy with games every few days and events he can never say no too. When he gets home his bones ache, only finding the strength to clean himself up and go to bed. 
When he calls you he realizes maybe it's too late. That waiting for things to blow over have left a gap in your time together. He knows nothing but memories. Your life eludes him. He tries to go back truly, but seeing your story while you're out with friends, smiling- actually smiling. He thinks he better not intrude. 
His mother isn't helping one bit. She's come to the conclusion that the only way to move on and get your family off his back for good is to just move on. Find a “nice sensible girl” she says, smiling.  
Jude doesn't want to. It makes him sick. Kicking and screaming the whole way about it. It’s not a bad idea in theory. Pretend to date someone. Your family gets off his back his family of yours boom you can be happy together again. 
So he can learn who you are again. Find a way into your life. Do you still tilt your head when you're confused? He needs to get back to you. He can't let someone like you leave. He doesn’t just love you, he’s fascinated with the person you’ve grown into. 
The thought of you with anyone else makes him sick. He still loves you, and he makes himself believe that the same is true. 
If only right.
He meets Kaylie in the dead of winter. At a sponsorship event that he completely forgets about and shows up an hour late to. He looks around trying to find his agent but before he can even say his usual rounds of hellos he spots his mother standing with a blonde who clutches her necklace to her chest while she laughs.
This is the start of his own nightmare.
He comes back around when he knows he has to. After taking his sweet time talking to everyone. He tries to look for help to get out of the encounter but it's already too late. His mother is flagging him down. So he walks over, already sweating. 
His mother all but pushes them together. 
“What a couple you two are.” she beams, hands clasped together. 
He gives a tight lipped smile and tries to wiggle his way out the awkward slew of introductions Kaylie gives of herself. But his mother gives him a look, grabbing into his arm and making stand and listen. 
There's a look in his mothers eye, he knows what it means. This is the woman that's supposed to replace you. He feels sick. 
——-
Along the way he thinks that maybe this is what's best for him. For you. 
His family all love Kaylie. And she's sweet enough.
Nothing like you, dragging him into different clubs while you linked arms to get ice cream at the same time.
He finds it hard to keep up with her. Her life is fast paced, more so than his. Every time he calls she's in a different country it seems, catching flights and going to fancy resorts.
You never minded a quiet night in. Its what you loved, being able to exist with him. 
Most of all she doesnt know him. She knows Jude Bellingham. The player, the figure, the celebrity. She doesn't know that he has a bad habit of touching his ears when he's nervous, how his eyes go wide at praise and teasing. How without a hundred reminders and alarms he truly would be late for everything. You always helped getting him to things on time.
When you were both awkward pre teens struggling to make sense of the world, you’d stop by his house to make sure he wouldn’t miss the bus. Sitting next to him on the beaten leather seats, and spitting facts you learned the day before. 
He always listened. He still would today. 
He doesn't think Kaylie’s noticed anything about him. She spends most of their time together taking pictures and flaunting him around. He pretends it doesn't bother him. Is the peace even worth it at this point?
She doesn't know how much he loves making little daisy chains, how much he loved putting them in your hair when you were kids. You’d throw a fit, but he never missed the look in your eyes when his fingers would swoop down to settle them gently. 
Kaylie is beautiful. But she's not beautiful like you. She may have an expensive taste for clothes that allows her to put together a stunning outfit for any occasion, cleavage on display while she pouts her lips and bats her eyelashes for a kiss. Kisses he never gives her. He can't. Not when he knows you wait for him. 
Sure she's great by the average man's standards. But she's not lovely like you. You could be in a trash bag and he'd still think you're the most gorgeous person on the planet. 
He thinks this whole Kaylie thing will blow over, that he'll be able to get back to you. 
And he tells her this. 
He goes through the motions, just to shut everyone up. 
Sitting her down when his mother isn’t around, “I don't love you. I will never be okay. I'm only here to get my mom off my back.”
And she laughs, flicking her hair over her shoulder, “Okay Judey whatever you say,” bracelets clanking together.
The name makes him want to hurl. “Get out of my house.”
Kaylie has got it in her head that she's here to stay. They've gotten into screaming matches because she's gotten her hands on the spare key and spends her days lounging in his house while he's away. They're not even officially dating by any means. 
And he keeps finding her in his bed, in nothing but one of his shirts. Giggling and acting coy. He's losing his patience and losing it fast. 
“Why did you give her the key.” Jude storms into his mothers house. 
She's making tea, swirling a spoon in her mug,”she's your woman isn't she. She needs one.”
“No. She's not my woman and you know that. Everyone that.”
She set the spoon down in the sink, going over to where Jude stands.
“Jude. you need to focus on what's good for you. And she wasn't good. You should be lucky that they didn't win the case. I went and told them about Kaylie and how wonderful she is. Be thankful. “
He's losing his mind. He needs to talk to you. 
He gets the chance when he's back in his hometown. And he sees you. He doesn’t think he could ever miss you, not even in a crowd. A rush of people stop him from running right to you. So instead he texts you. For the first time in ages. 
Was nice seeing you.
He hopes you can read between the lines, that you still know him well enough to understand what he really means. 
I still see you. 
For Jude is a coward. 
——
You dont reply. He forces himself to go back to what hes been forced to know.
Kaylie is all over him, hands roaming his body. There are days when he gives in. Sharing a bed with her as a cruel demented way to find some sort of release from everything that goes on around him.  The look on her face after its all set and done makes him genuinely want to punch something. A look of arrogance, like she's won something. 
And to top it all off he's been called up for England. His life gets even busier, if possible. Trying to keep up with it all proves to be grueling.
But light comes in the form of you. In the form of a single text.
Watched you play tonight. I'm proud of you.
You're proud of him? You watched him? 
The words bring him to near sobs, the light of his phone illuminating his hotel room while hes getting changed into his pjs. It's completely dark, his personal preference. And hes so happy he would fly the damn plane himself to see you. 
Before he can even think of a reply Kaylie tells him she's pregnant. Barging into his room with a little white box in hand. He thinks is some sort of congratulations for the game. Tacky card, maybe a watch. 
When he opens it, his world comes to a halt. Its a single pregnancy test.
He wants to cry. He's too young to be having kids let alone with her. It makes no sense to him. He always used protection the handful of times they did sleep together. Each time he'd only cry in the shower trying to scrub off her smell and the feeling of her touch off of him. She's only a distraction he tells himself. Too late for those words now.
It feels so wrong, so so wrong. He was supposed to be waiting for you and here he is sleeping with another woman. Who's now pregnant. He wants to vomit. 
He's in too deep now. And he can't be a deadbeat dad. 
Thoughts of you get pushed back to his mind while he scrambles to deal with the consequences of his own actions. 
When they get back to Madrid, his mother doesnt let him off easy. Screaming at him till he thinks he's popped an eardrum. And yet there's a gleam in her eyes like she's happy it all worked out this way. Doting on Kaylie and rubbing her belly (that's not even close to showing yet), and calling herself grandma already. 
The next step is obvious. He has to marry her and make it work.
So he does. An impromptu wedding that happens so fast he doesn't even hear the congratulations from everyone. He doesn't know how to break it to you so instead he posts on instagram and tries to figure out what his life has become. 
Jude is nearing 25. He has a kid on the way. He's married. He hates his wife. He hate himself.  Can you ever forgive him?
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hoyotournament · 5 months
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FINALS!!! Furina vs Kiana Kaslana
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(Propaganda under the cut)
Furina:
the girl who saved fontaine. condemned herself to a life of silent pain and suffering without any warning or preparation. she could confide in no one, seek out help from no one, all while bearing the weight of her entire nation on her shoulders. not only did her willpower save everyone in fontaine, but after the prophecy was averted, she was finally allowed to live a normal life.
Kiana Kaslana:
TLDR: she's kiana kaslana what do you MEAN!!!! kiana is a beautifully written character who fully encapsulates what hi3 is about and she's so full of love and guilt and (most importantly) hope. she's a clone who struggles with her own identity/inhumanity and traumas extending from when she was a young child and her guilt but is so so resilient and so so so so compassionate which ultimately reinforces her humanity :)
kiana's character IS the honkai impact thesis statement. i don't even mean it as in she's the literal main character and face of honkai i genuinely mean it when i say she just IS honkai impact. she reflects every single theme that they portray [hope over nihilism (chapter 25 || the flame chasers and just. the previous era in general), having agency over your identity and your own story (himeko, her being k423 and being so linked to sirin, everlasting flames || the kaslana household name honestly, bronya, fu hua, mei, sirin), believing in the humanity's inherent worth (chapter 25, arc city || elysia <- important since as a current era herrscher, she is a successor to elysia AND as kiana kaslana, she is a narrative parallel of elysia), having faith in the youth (himeko, kevin || the other flame chasers! notably su), etc.] her character being so reflective is also sooooo OUGH to think about when you view it as a reflection of honkai's 50,000 year samsara because kiana is a representation of these themes coming full circle (especially since many of these stretch back to the previous era and elysia).
SHE FEELS SO MUCH. she's so full of love and guilt. she clearly prioritizes others over herself and part of her arc is her learning to value and love herself as well!!! she would give herself for the world ten times over because she holds so much affection for humanity!! (WHILE FEELING DEHUMANIZED BECAUSE OF HER IDENTITY AS BOTH A HERRSCHER AND K423) and it's actively apart of her character's growth :'')
dear god her growth… okok. so i think first you have to understand that a lot of kiana's growth obviously coincides w general maturity as she grows from a teenager to a young adult. but aside from that i think people often forget that younger kiana is incredibly self sufficient since her father literally left her with little to no explanation when she was like. what 8? the insecurity she feels at that! the anger she has to navigate while also balancing it with her own feelings of missing and loving him. basically: kiana has struggled a lot w instability and is thus kinda good at navigating it. ex: she isnt shaken by nagazora and literally tries again and again and again to save mei and convince mei to let her help. the thing is this fucks w her a bit though because a big thing that she does as a means to cope w instability is avoiding them (not reflective of real life of course, but in the fictional hi3 this is partially represented in kiana's repressed memories about her actual origins as k423). she can not stand the realization that she killed himeko that she's so deep in denial and doesnt truly realize it until more than 10 chapters after himeko dies! she's so horrified with her being a herrscher she actively tries to not use her powers out of fear, even when it puts her in harms way (the chapter XI-EX CG!!!!!! her literally trying to kill herself!!) she literally runs away from her friends and loved ones because she's so scared of hurting them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! which is why her promise to himeko to not run away is so important!! because it addresses one of kiana's biggest flaws!!!!! this is especially important bc her refusal to continue her avoidance feeds into her arc during the herrscher of dominion chapters where she both faces her own guilt/identity and deliberately chooses perseverance and hope over nihilism!! she is hope!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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i have this idea/possible au in my head and its been floating around for a while. it came to me when i realised that there were 5 lords in black and 5 nerdy prudes (including steph), and i thought what if these poor kids were each haunted by one of the LiB...
Ruth with Pokey, because of her love for theatre and dreams of being the star of a show. pokey would find her weak spot by offering her the role of a lifetime, her chance to be in the spotlight for once. i also have a hc for ruth that she has some form of ocd, and pokey has an affinity for everything to be perfect and in order, too.
Grace with Blinky, because her family and upbringing has taught her that everything she does in her life is under critical review. in grace's mind, she's always being watched anyways. she is always being judged or judging herself based on her actions and the "sins" she does/doesnt commit. honestly, she's so freaked out by doing the right thing at all times, she might already be watched by blinky.
Pete with Tinky, mostly because of that Spankoffski connection. of course, tinky wants to have the whole collection. ive thought a lot about how if ted is the time bastard, its likely that tinky would appoint his little brother as the space bastard. i hc pete to have a lot of social anxiety issues (im projecting) and believe me, it would be hell of a lot easier if space and time were on his side now and again.
the last two took some thinking. so bear with me.
Steph with Nibbly. not just because of nibblys "yum yum" line, or the very popular headcanon that steph's mother was honey queen (i still believe that she was, btw). but i think as the mayor's daughter, steph was raised to be very aware of her public image, that includes how she is perceived AND who she is associated with. before pete came into the picture, she probably had a lot of exes within the "cool kids" dating pool. someone she can be with for a few weeks to keep up her status, suck them dry until she couldn't bare to be with someone she didnt actually love, and then move onto the next. additionally, she probably has an idea in her head that she has to make herself "desirable" in order to keep up with the cool kids. between her hunger for attention, her father's hunger for success, and the overall high school hunger for popularity, nibbly would find a lot of places in steph to tap into.
lastly, Richie and Wiggly. and no, this has nothing to do with Jon playing both characters. richie, in my eyes, is a child at heart. not that he's immature or anything, but he just has a love for the simpler things. he likes anime and sci fi films. and, sure, he's smart and likes science, but he's not looking forward to college like his other nerdy friends. part of him wants to stay a kid forever, a feeling he would grow out of in time, but not before wiggly could take a stab at him. wiggly puts himself into a doll, for fucks sake. wiggly wants power and control, and richie wants his friends to stick around. wiggly wouldn't have to try very hard to befriend richie through his love of "childish" things, and from there he could "help" richie make sure his friends never, ever, leave.
im not sure how this would go, but the LiB each picking a different member of this friend group would cause a lot of competition down in the Black, and put a lot of strain on the relationships up in Hatchetfield.
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iznyangwoni · 2 months
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EASY TO LOVE | chapter thirteen !
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Your brother was finally back in town and the first thing he decided to do was go see you and your mother. As much as you were happy to see him, you werent really able to enjoy his presence so much.
All you could think about was that video. From the moment it was taken a year ago until now you could barely sleep properly, the fear of someone leaking it too high. Your legs shakes nervously as you try to find the right words for whatever is going on.
“Y/n is everything okay? You seem distracted.” You raise your head, your name getting called taking you by surprise. You look at your mother, who is trying to decipher your expression, meanwhile your brother seems pretty much worried.
“Uh.. yeah. Yes i mean,” you sigh, a hand going through your hair and, before your mother can tell you to not do that or your hair will go everywhere on the plate, you let everything out. “There’s this girl who has been taunting me lately,”
“Oh now thats different, usually you’re the one doing that.” “Yeonjun!” You pout, giving a cold glance to your brother, still, you appreciate him trying to bring the mood up. “And… she did say she has, you know,” You look at your mom, it was so hard talking about it last year, your really dont want to bring it up once again.
“She does have that video and she keeps telling me she will post it and i… i guess its stressing me a bit.” You hide your face in your hands, both for embarrassment and not wanting to cry. Your mother takes a seat next to you, her hand on your back.
“Is there something we can do?” You need to think about this for a moment. The thought of Minji leaking the video is eating you alive, but at the same time you cant tell if its just a threat or if she’s being serious. Ruining someone’s life for a harmless threat seems a bit too much, but you cant really live in fear forever.
“Actually.. there might be something.” And so you tell your mother her name, and the fact that her father does in fact work in our company. You dont tell her to fire him or anything, the best thing to do right now is wait for your mother to decide whats best.
___________________________________
hours later, you’re about to go to sleep when Yeonjun suddenly opens the door of your room. You take off your headphones and sit up on the bed. “What?” Your brother rolls his eyes. “How loud do you have that on? There’s a guy with a loud ass motorbike who’s looking for you.”
You immediately get up and run towards the window. As you expected, Jungwon is out there, leaning on his motorbike with two helmets on his hands. “Please don’t tell dad.” “Won’t.” You put on the first thing you can find, which happens to be a little blue dress and some shoes, running out of the house.
“I told you to not come today.” You say, once you’re facing Jungwon. He’s wearing a racer jacket which looks so damn good on him. “And i told you i wanted to see you. We’re just going for a walk, mh?” He says, handing the helmet to you. You sigh, its not like you have another option, and walking a bit with jungwon could only help you.
So you decide to go, it was way harder to get on the motorbike than you expected, but the ride was worth it. Even if you were quite cold with just the dress you had on.
Later on, you’re both walking on the bridge, his jacket on your shoulders meanwhile your hands brush with each other at every step, but never actually intertwine. “Listen, i dont know what Minji has been telling you, but she is a good person after all. She just doesnt know the right way to show she cares.”
You nod, thinking about what just happened at dinner, the way you told your mather everything might just ruin her life, and Jungwon will hate you for it. “Isnt Sunghoon the same?” He asks, and you have to glance at him, at least Sunghoon doesn’t go around threatening people.
“All Hoonie does is glance at you and tell you to get away from me, its very different.” “Then what does Minji do?” You look at the ground, you dont really want to tell him everything, so you just shrug. “It doesn’t matter.”
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ride-thedragon · 3 months
Text
The Adultification of Baela Targaryen.
Something that I've noticed is that with a more prominent role this season Baela is being adultified by the adults in her life so far.
Rhaenys: They were together for 6 years on Driftmark, but due to the fact that she's patrolling the Gullet, Baela is kind of left to fend for herself in this new position and with the idea that she has to prove herself. It's not Rhaenys' fault, obviously, but it plays into the idea that she has to grow up a lot quicker than she did previously. Her parental figure is away doing what she can, and Baela is eager to replicate that example.
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Daemon: Now her actual parent is being dismissive of her. Baela and Daemon have one scene in season 1.
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In my humble opinion, he and Laena simply took to the child they could relate more to and was more interested. It wasn't simply Laena taking Rhaena because Daemon didn't want her.
But, now, six years later, that dynamic has changed. She is under the watch of Rhaenys. All the moments he would've shared with her, perfecting High Valyrian, learning to ride a dragon, and learning the ways of court have been learnt through Rhaenys. That's not to say they aren't close enough. She's the person who sends the letter to him about the Driftmark sucession issue.
The issue is, in that scene, he's in a mood because in typical Daemon fashion, his actions have consequences.
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He ignores her because he's upset, not because he hates her, and you can tell that Baela is thrown off by it. I'm not saying it's the first time, just that she doesn't have a tolerance for it. She goes into the room and we see that she has a lot more childish expression towards it.
She asks about him hesitantly after seeing and gauging the situation. She's growing up and learning that he isn't perfect, and unlike with Laena, they can't and don't have to hide their fights from her anymore, no matter how much her tone seems to want it.
Because she is still young and doesn't understand, nor should she have to understand the volatile creature Daemon is. So she wonders if sometimes she simply just hates him, because it would be a lot less work.
But because this isn't meant to be a full analysis of their relationship, the point is that Daemon expects her to have an understanding of this and from his past behaviour still manage to understand that they are on the same side. Baela is 16 years old.
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Rhaenyra: I saw someone say that Rhaenyra is risking Baela because she doesnt care about her, which was funny in the context but unfounded in the narrative and based on interview. The posts about this are great though.
Jacaerys volunteers to fly above King's Landing to monitor what Aegon intends to do and to see if he retaliates. She specifically says no because the last time he volunteered to do something, his brother was killed by the enemy. Her saying no can be based on the fact that Jace might be a little hot-headed if anything happens and try to fight like he did in episode 8 and the fact that like her father, she sees the risk and doubles down on the fact that she can't risk her heir.
So she sends Baela.
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In all seriousness, it's the theme of adultification yet again. Some people think she's lashing out at Daemon through Baela, but she's not hateful towards the girls, and she certainly isn't malicious enough to make children pay for the crimes of their parents.
But what she is doing is treating Baela like an adult because she's eager to help and seemingly more level-headed than Jace would be. Rhaenyra didn't see Baela grow up. She didn't raise Baela. Rhaenys did, and Rhaenys is the most competent advisor and the only advisor she has that listens to her. She's treating Baela in a very similar way.
The issue with that is that Baela is 16 YEARS OLD. She is the same if not similar age to Jace. They are putting her in a position and risking her because she is seen as more responsible (someone said eldest daughter syndrome) when she is most likely not and from what we've seen, she's just as eager to prove herself.
Overall,
I just hope they follow through with this narrative but also allow her some grace. We see her being moody about Daemon, and that's really excellent because that means it's purposeful and recognised by the narrative, which is one of the biggest strides they taken in subverting stereotypes with the Velaryons. She's a kid, let her be a kid.
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sanjisblackasswife · 2 years
Note
Any dad headcanons for the monster trio? (+ Law if you don’t mind)
(also love your writing btw!!)
A/N: I just seen a edit a while ago of Sanji being so good w kids n so I must— thank u btw!:) Imma add Cora because omg we need more writing with him:(
One Piece Men as Daddies (Fluff)
Black Fem Reader in Mind
CW: None! Except the mommy (the reader) is kinda a menace.
Ft. Zoro, Luffy, Law, Sanji, Corazon
Sanji
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Top 2 Best Dads and he ain’t number 2 fr
He spoils his kids more than you now I’m sorry :(
He doesn’t realize this and swears he loves you both equally
I can most definitely see him having a daughter as his first child and yes you and her are his Queen and Princess
His daughter is a simp just like his daddy
His daughter stresses him out so much because she loves drooling over every guy she sees omg
“STOP IT, SAMMIE!”
“Sweetheart she’s a baby she doesnt e—“
“ARE YOU STARING AT MY CHILD?!”
Sanji needs to throw all kinds of kicks when he is with his babygirl
God help him when she’s a teenager
He loves cuddling you both while watching Disney movies
He teaches his sweet girl the importance of how a man should treat her if she somehow gets one
“You can’t get married until you’re 25.”
“Sanji she’s just 3 right now.”
“Okay make it 30.”
Okay ngl when you were having the baby he made the mistake of looking down between your legs and the baby’s head was just barely peaking and he passed out.
He still has a bit of subtle nose bleeds when you were breast feeding too
He keeps mementos of every single thing his child has; drawings, fallen teeth, etc he keeps it in a box in his side of the closet
Due to his childhood he tends to worry he will turn into his biological father. He confided to you about this issue while you were pregnant and you nipped it in the bud and told him that he was and will never be like him and Zeff would be proud of the kinda man and future father he turned out to be
Both cried that night.
Also he is completely aware what happens to a woman’s body after pregnancy and will always remind you no matter how much your body changes he will still see you so beautiful.
He will be just like Zeff to his son. Teaching him the same way and all.
Zeff is the granddaddy btw. Sanji takes his kids to visit him often.
He usually takes the kid(s) off your hands for a day if he sees you feel stressed
100000000/10 daddy and yes he will be pumping more into you again if you’re up for it🤍
Luffy
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Two Luffy’s running around in your home
Make it 3 because I can see him having twins
They stress you out sm.
“STOP PUTTING THE BABIES UP ON TOP OF THE SHELF ONE DAY THEY GONE SAY FUCK IT AND BUST THEY HEAD—“
“I GOT THEM Y/N!”
Man didn’t have a clue in the world how to be a daddy. So he went to Rayleigh panicking KSSHSJJSS
He’s a very chill parent so you have to be the stern one and it sucks sometimes
Yes the kids like daddy more than you
Almost every night when Luffy is home he puts the twins to bed with telling them of all the stories he had with you when he was young
“And I met your mommy on a different island! She didn’t like me at first but now she’s in love with me! Heheheeh!”
Kids have the same shishishi laugh as him cracks you up each time they do it in sync
You made the mistake of leaving the three of them at home as you went to go shopping and came back to a wrecked home and the three of them eating meat on the floor
He tells them about Ace a lot.
He actually named one of the twins after him
Encourages them to be what they want in life even if they want to be a pirate
Sabo is ofc the nice uncle that comes barring gifts
Sanji and Zoro are the Goddfathers
9/10 daddy that still is learning to be a daddy
Zoro
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It’s canon this man is amazing with kids so off bat he’s top 3.
Since he has so much experience he was really good with handling the baby when he was first born
At least 17 times during the time yall son was a baby he tried nursing from Zoro and he hated it sm he couldn’t even take a nap shirtless with him
“STOP LAUGHING!”
“He Just Like me for real.”
“ENOUGH.”
The second the baby was able to walk he already wanted to train him into being a swordsman
“HES A BABY!”
“HE IS A GROWN MAN—!”
He will most definitely kill for you both
You annoyed him so much during your pregnancy because you wanted to leave the house but he didn’t want you getting hurt
You’ve caught him training with your baby son swaddled on his chest (like that one filler episode of him babysitting) and you nearly choked him out because wtf is he swinging around a sword so close to y’all baby.
He did gain some weight too during your pregnancy but immediately shredded off after you poked his belly
He loves his son but as he got older he started to have beef KSSHSHSISK
His son is a mamas boy and so whenever Zoro wants to have alone time with you it’s like he had a 6th sense and barged in ruining the moment
It’s so funny seeing them argue over who gets to cuddle you for the night
He plans to give your son one of his old swords when he gets older if he decides to be a swordsman
Luffy is the Goddfather and Sanji is ofc the cool uncle that comes to visit
100000/10 Zoro is a wonderful daddy
Law
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He is the strict dad
You both had a daughter and she annoys him a lot just like you did when you both were dating
“Imma get tatted like you daddy.”
“You’re 13.”
“So?”
“NO—!”
He was the one to deliver y’all baby
The doctor side of him popped out when you were pregnant he never let u leave the bedroom. He even bathed you a lot which in turn have had him have sex with you in the tub
“Orgasms can help soothe you as you’re pregnant, y/n.”
“…the hell you read that at.”
He talks about Cora to you and your baby while you both were were sleep after pregnancy.
When your daughter turned 21 you and her convinced Law to get the same matching tattoo as him on her hand and even though he acted like he was against it he was ecstatic
He has scared off so many of your daughter’s boyfriends pls
He took off the head of one because he kept staring at YOUR boobs
Law likes to study with his baby girl on his lap.
You’ve walked in on him sleep on his chair with the baby cuddled on top
120/10 Law is an outstanding responsible daddy
Corazon (Rosinante)
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TOP BEST DADDY SHUT UP HEAR ME OUT
Matching clothes
He’d have a daughter :( lil Rosie Aksbsjdksk
Yes he’s clumsy but he’d rather die than have you or his baby hurt
He didn’t stop smoking but he does only do it outside
You catch him doing stupid faces and stunts to make you’re daughter laugh when she’s sad and she eats it right tf up
Yes she is a daddy’s girl
He carries you both around with ease
If he notices you feeling insecure about your body post birth he’ll feel a tinge of guilt but smother you in kisses and appreciation about how he doesn’t care about how you look he still loves u sm
And if that doesn’t work he’ll just show you…naked…in the bed….
Sex he’ll show u with sex
Law is like the older brother and he may not act like it but he loves seeing Cora so happy with you and the baby
Scares tf outta you when he is outside throwing your 4 months old baby in the air tho
He uses some of his methods when he was raising Law to raise your baby
Gets so emotional when your daughter reaches out for him
“BABY LOOK AT OUR BABY SHE LOVES ME!”
“You’re her daddy, Cora of course she loves you.”
Just like Sanji saves every core memory he can of your baby daughter
Let’s her put on his makeup . It came out horribly but he proudly wore it the whole day
He needs to kiss you both before leaving or else he will have a terrible day
One time you and the baby surprised him with a cake just as a thank you for everything he has done for you and he fell off the chair crying
He cries a lot
Wants to have like 3 more babies with you
102$)43920292772200/10 best mf Daddy
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etfrin · 11 months
Note
god okayokay
reader is dewey and gale's daughter and apart of the "core 5" (reader, mindy, chad, tara and sam) and dated amber freeman in the past. though has severe ptsd from what had happened a year ago (and the fact that reader saw her dad die and almost died with him, if it wasnt for the fact that they managed to stable her) and reader killed amber to avenge her father thinking by killing amber brutally would make up for dewey. thought if she hunted down her father's killer, she'd feel better.
present time, she's living with chad and ethan in their dorm. her and ethan are in a relatively healthy relationship, but she never opened up about amber or what exactly happened back in woodsboro because she wasnt ready. in fact, he never even seen her without a shirt on (because of the scars from amber and richie), but once he walked in at the wrong time while she was changing in complete accident (since they share a room) and he apologizes PROFUSELY but he cant help but stare. hes not even disgusted hes just kind of mesmerized by her. she gets insecure abt them and he lays her down and asks her abt them, how she got them. some scars were actually from stupid little things like slipping on a skateboard while carrying around a knife in a sheath that wasnt secured all the way so reader started carrying around switchblades after that (which she used to kill amber.) but he cant help but kiss them and tell her abt how beautiful she looks with them. so im just saying switch virgin! ethan and switch experienced reader (lost her v card to quinn first staying there but its a brief thing and isnt mentioned after that) just really soft sex between the two, ethan being a caring bf and after, realizes hes fucked up because hes genuinely fallen heads over heels for the girl he should hate. he knows he cant kill her, so now he doesnt know whats more important; avenging richie or being with the one he loves. choosing between his family, or choosing a life he wouldn't have with anyone else with someone that he loves more than life itself.
may had of gone overboard but im in love w this whole idea
↳❝Scars | Ethan Landry❞ˎˊ-
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Warning - NSFW | p in v sex, fingering (f. receiving), creampie, unprotected sex (wrap it dumbfucks), loss of virginity (Ethan), mentions of murder, scars and Ghostfaces. | lmk if I forgot anything!
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| masterlist | bc: @cafekitsune
A/N: okay so this was supposed to be a drabble then it was suddenly 1.6k words (don't ask me what happened), I hope whichever one of you requested this likes it, I TRIED I PROMISE and here's the link to request!
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virgin! Ethan Landry x female! Reader
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Ethan didn't ask about the scars for a week.
He didn't act any different despite seeing the ugly healed-up wounds all over your skin. Despite some of them being from playing around, most were from your fight with the Ghostfaces.
You thought he would be disgusted when he first saw them, the one second before he had closed his eyes, but there was no visible disgust on his face. Only concern.
And he had apologized so much that you practically pitied him.
Even now that you were on his lap, your lips tangled with his in a heated kiss. His hand on your nape, another hand on your hip. He hadn't ventured far yet, being as respectful as he could be.
All the while you felt yourself getting needy for his touch. After another heated kiss, you pulled back, a string of saliva connecting your lips. Ethan's face was flushed with a crimson red, breathless from the kiss.
The hand on your hip went near the hem of your shirt and you felt yourself tense. "Can I?" He asked softly. You give him a nod, anticipating this time, he would feel disgusted. That he would leave you heartbroken.
He took off the shirt, his breath caught in his chest as your scars came into view.
The gashes were all over your skin. White healed tissue tinged with pink. "How?" He lets out a choked whisper. "Would you mind telling me how?" He said, again, his eyes looking into your so tenderly with no hint of disdain.
Taking in a deep breath, you nod and begin to tell your story, everything from your father dying and you killing Amber to get revenge, for the wounds you got from the fight. Everything.
"I know they aren't the prettiest to look at," you whispered, "I know I understand if you don't want to stay with m-" "Don't even finish that sentence," Ethan interrupted.
"Don't," he said in a firm tone, making you look up at him. His eyes were filled with tears even if they didn't fall, he pulled you in for a hug. "You went through so much," he whispered, his voice filled with emotions, filled with care and love.
"Let me take care of you, they're not pretty but they're a part of you and I love these scars just as much as I love you." He said you felt yourself nearly getting to tears as well from his words but held yourself back.
"Okay," you whispered, "Take care of me."
And that's how you end up under him, bare for his lips to kiss all over your scarred skin. You let out encouraging purrs as his kisses travel down from your neck to your collarbone. A small cut was there due to negligence while handling knives. He licked the edges of the scar. You sighed as he continued to worship your body.
He finally reached your torso, and a huge gash was there. He had stopped kissing your skin now, staring at the pinkish tissue that was a huge contrast against your skin.
'Now,' you thought to yourself, 'He's gonna realize that you're just not worth it, not with all the baggage and the scars on your skin that come with it.'
"I wish I could kill them," he whispered, his lips brushing against the scar. His words made you melt because it was tinged with truth. There was no doubt in his mind that he would kill them if he had the chance.
He pressed wet kisses onto the scar, making you let out a small sigh. He then crawled on top of you again. His voice was filled with nerves as he whispered, "I have never done this before."
You cup his face with both of your hands and pressed a small kiss on his forehead. "I have," you whispered, you had lost your virginity to Quinn so you were at least aware of what you liked or not.
"I could teach you," you offered, "Figure out what we like or not together." His doe eyes fill with relief and he gives you a smile as an affirmation.
"I would love that," he said, leaning down for another kiss as his hand traveled down to your soaked panties. He lets out a gasp into your mouth as he feels the material cling to your fold.
He panted, "Oh- you're so wet. Is that all for me, darling?" The way he asked made your cunt clench, so breathless and in wonder. "Yeah, E," you whine as his fingers glide on your clothed pussy, the slight friction making you gush out more juices.
"Can I take it off?" he asked, and you nod. He slides down the panties, and throws them on the floor, making a mental note to take it for himself later.
He pressed his fingers to your folds, sliding them across your cunt until the tip of his finger finds your entrance. You let out a small gasp, feeling yourself clench. "Can I?' He whispered, and again you nod. "Go ahead, E," you whispered.
The first digit enters, making him whimper about how tight you are, and how warm your insides feel. Your inner walls pulsate around the single digit.
He pumps the digit in and out before his index finger also joins. A whimper escapes your lips as your pussy stretches to accommodate his digits. "Is it good?" He asked, the nervousness mixed with heat in his tone.
"Perfect," you assure him, "Just crook your fingers a bit and you'll find a spot, focus on that for me, E." He eagerly does what you asked, his fingers finding your G-spot and pressing into it every time he thrusts his digits inside.
You moan, your hips bucking into his touch. Getting a bit more confidence from your pleasurable sounds, Ethan goes even faster. Your walls begin to pulse with the familiar need to snap the tension that was building but you didn't wanna cum so soon.
"Stop," you whispered and Ethan pulled back immediately with a questioning gaze. "Did I do something wrong?" He asked, concerned, "Did I hurt you? I am sorry."
You chuckled, "Nothing like that, my love. I was close…" You bite your lip, hesitating about saying the words that you knew would sound crude, "Wanna cum on your cock for the first time."
His eyes widened at your request. He nods obediently, pulling off his shirt with one hand and taking off his belt so he can slip out from the rest of his clothes.
His cock looked painfully hard with his cockslit leaking pre-cum all over his length. He stroked his cock to elevate some of his own needs.
"You don't have to if you don't want to," he whispered, as he slotted his girth near your entrance. His cockhead getting coated into your slick. You shake your head, "I want it, Ethan. So much."
He gives you a nod. He buries his face into the crook of your neck as he slowly slides into your warmth. Inch by inch, his cock stretches out your pussy, your inner walls molding into the shape of his length. He lets out whines as his veins sizzle with pleasure.
You felt his dick pulse and twitch as he whined, "Gonna cum. Gonna cum. Fuck, fuck, fuck-" Your hand goes to his hair to harshly tug at the brown curls. Effectively distracting him from the overwhelming pleasure. "Sushh, baby," you whispered, "It's okay. It's okay." He groans, "Babe…" You hum in reassurance. You make your pussy clench around his dick. Your walls squeezing his cock so suddenly makes his hips jerk into you, his cockhead grazing your g-spot.
You moan near his ear. "Like that," you whispered, "Take care of me."
It took him a few more moments to get used to the vice grip on his cock, the wetness, and the warmth before he began shallowly thrust into you.
He pressed kisses all over your neck, your throat, your breasts. Marking the places near your scars so you can remember this night. Both of you let out noises of pleasure.
He begins to thrust deeper than before as your nails dig into his back and he gets faster as well. Humping into you now, his mind getting lost in the sensation of your velvet heat.
"Am I doing all right?" He whines as his hips keep meeting yours. "Perfect," you moan in reply. His hips begin to snap faster, his thrusts deeper than before, filling you up. You moan louder as you keep getting filled with his cock. Your pussy begins to spasm around his length as the heat fills your tummy.
You were getting close with each snap of his hips. "You getting close, baby?" He moans, his lips now brushing against yours. "Cum on my dick, please, babe!" He begs, as he gets more desperate, his thrusts getting sloppy and losing their consistent pace.
Your free hand goes down to your folds to find your clit. Your thumb rubs fast circles onto the bud. You felt the telltale signs of your climax. Your stomach is coiling, just waiting to explode.
"Please, cum on my cock," Ethan whines again, his lips crashing with yours in a filthy open-mouth kiss. That snapped the tension your body was holding, you moaned into his mouth as your pussy began to squeeze his cock repeatedly. Your cunt milking his cock for all its worth. As soon as he feels your inner walls spasm and contract with a shallow thrust, he begins to cum.
He pants as his cum leaks out, too fucked out to pull out. You were both tired. Both emotionally and physically drained, it doesn't take long for you to sleep.
Ethan lays awake though, feeling the heat of your body beside him. Hearing you breath. He closed his eyes, and an image was in front. In which you're dead and cold.
He couldn't have that. He can't kill you anymore. Not after this. Not after promising forever with you, not after marking you and kissing your every scar.
He would have to choose in the future and he would choose you.
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junosmindpalace · 6 months
Text
i find discourse around the rdr women so...fascinating and infuriating at the same time. because a lot of the time it doesn't seem like rdr fans want to apply the same level of complex analysis to the women like they do for the men, but when they do, it still doesnt seem all that well-intentioned or that it does right by their characters.
this is a very long analysis/spam/defense so be warned :,)
even though the majority of sadie's character revolves around the fact she not only lost her home and her husband and was thrust into a new life of crime, but was actively struggling with robberies BEFORE the events of the game, people instead choose to focus on whether or not she had feelings for arthur or whether he actions in the game were actually impactful. she helped saved abigail and john when no else would, she fought alongside the men against the army, she helped john set up a stable life, she helped rob the payroll train, helped ensure colm’s death, she fought alongside arthur TIME AGAIN and took over in a leadership role when half the gang was absent in the guarma chapter. to say that she did nothing more except “be badass” undermines all of these contributions to the story that she was either at the forefront of or helped bring to fruition.
in my opinion, abigail is the EASIEST character to defend out of any of the women, and yet somehow she receives the most backlash from dudebros. I lose ten braincells every time i have to read a theory post over whether or not she slept with other camp members besides john, whether or not she was a rat, and about how much shes a nag. the woman has not known a moment's rest in her entire life. by the age of eight she was working in a cathouse. she was a child prior to then scrapping whatever money she could earn at her young age in saloons and dive bars as a woman and child just to survive as a orphan. jack's birth was clearly not planned, and she has voiced multiple times her grievances at the circumstances of his upbringing. everything she does is for a better life for her son: a life she never had. her constant nagging to get john to man up and be a father is for her son's benefit, not her own. she even says so herself when she tells him that she doesn't mind if a relationship between them doesn't work out, but to at least try being there for jack. she can't work a job because she is a mother living a life of crime and danger; she can't afford to leave the camp and her son unsupervised. she still does her share around camp. why would anyone blame her for not wanting to return to a life that has made her miserable, especially now that she has a child who she wants to model a good life for? many people seem to somehow also forget that she herself was a child when she gave birth to jack; only 17-18. she is 22 in the game in a bad situation with the father of her child and financially. she is doing her best to raise her son when she is not fully equipped to do so. how can anyone even blame her for being skeptical of john when hes affectionate in the epilogue when for so long hes been distant? she does not even ask much of john--just to be there for him sometimes, and to live honestly. she is also incredibly kindhearted. comforting other women in the camp, offering a listening ear, taking care of john when hes injured. she puts in her share of effort when it comes to finding a job in the epilogue and maintaining beechers hope.
molly is a young woman who is presumably incredibly far from her home where her family is, and trying to navigate a way of life completely unfamiliar to her. her stuck up nature comes not only from the way she was raised, but also dutch's uplifting affection and presumed lovebombing in the early stages of their relationship. shes even been suggested to be somewhat sociable until dutch and her became somewhat of an official item, in which she grew somewhat of a bigger ego with a mentality that she was his right hand. she deeply depended on dutch for her stability in every way, and its evident in her eventual spiral. she hated being seen as weak and pitiful as somewhat of an outsider among outsiders. she seemed to be close to no one besides dutch, who repeatedly cut her off when she attempted to talk to him about her growing feelings of anxiety, paranoia and sadness. the loss of the one thing that had built her up, coupled with immense tragedy she just wasnt used to, and desperate for a semblance of respect and dignity that she had presumably been all too accustomed to, of course she was going to come off brash and confront dutch about his distant, high and mighty attitude. it's why by the end, she doesnt care if she is killed: there is nothing left for her. karen's comment about her pretending to rat them out for the sake of attention is also interesting in terms of their relationship and parallels, which i dont see ANYONE talk about.
karen very clearly struggles with...a lot. she has even said so herself when talking with molly. she struggles to accept help, evident in pieces of dialogue where she brushes off concerned gang members about her drinking (mary-beth, arthur, javier), and when she seems somewhat ashamed and embarrassed having to have been rescued by arthur in the valentine mission (SAYING EXPLICITLY "i dont much like being saved"). she struggles with believing people have good intentions/feelings toward her, illustrated in the way she's constantly rejecting sean, yet seemingly disappeared further down the bottle after his death, and her conversation with mary beth and tilly about the world having no equal and fair place for women. her negative experiences in the world as a woman could also influence her view of the world, perhaps being why she finds herself somewhat hostile toward feminist mindsets and why she, for a while, enjoyed the outlaw lifestyle: it was her little slice of freedom. her hatred for the rich can also be because she has experiences as a poor woman, perhaps some direct experiences in which rich people have negatively impacted her life. though molly and karen don't get along through most of the game, karen actually tries to step in and help her near the end, and its this action + defending her after her death that shows she was sympathetic toward her situation and on some level able to relate to it, both craving some kind of love beyond superficial things.
@/cryptidcr3ature said it very well in a post i reblogged recently: mary is essentially "her brother's keeper and her father's caretaker". she herself lives somewhere middle class with traditional notions of the time impacting her views on arthur's lifestyle and anything below those middle class standards being deemed as socially unacceptable (which is evident from the very first letter mary sends to arthur, in which she seems confused on what a polite term would be to refer to prostitutes, who were obviously thought very lowly of in the time). i also don't think its fair to criticise her condemnation of arthur's lifestyle when pretty much all audiences, contemporary and not, including members of the gang, acknowledge that it isnt anything pretty. killing is not fun. running from the law is not fun. mary was not only influenced by her father's views of arthur (a person that, despite being horrible, she still deeply loves), but looking after her own family, herself, and arthur's wellbeing when she ended their relationship + suggested they run away. she had given him an opportunity at compromise. perhaps the first time, scared and unfamiliar with his lifestyle, she had offered arthur an ultimatum: her or his outlaw life, but later was willing to also leave behind her brother and father, two figures that tie her down and make her life more miserable than need be despite loving them very much, in order to settle somewhere with arthur and start over. her asking for arthur's help comes from a place of desperation and excuse to allow herself some semblance of stability when she hadn't had it; at least not since her mother and husband passed. if arthur refuses to help her, she is incredibly understanding and sympathetic. she does not lash out. if arthur does help, she is immensely grateful, and even tries to bond with him despite their years apart.
this post isnt to excuse some of their more negative behaviours and aspects of their characters'-- but im saying that they deserve to be fairly treated and analyzed just like any of the rdr men. many of them are young. many of them have unique challenges as women. that isn’t to say the men have it easier, but their struggles and less prettier aspects of their characters are always met with more sympathy than the women. why do arthur and john get passes as reformed absent fathers and criminals? why does sean receive sympathy when karen rejects his pushy advances? why does hosea get a pass at being better than dutch when he still groomed younger members of the gang for a life of crime alongside dutch? why does dutch get a pass by having his downfall be justified by tough circumstances? lets just be fair
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ohmycale · 21 days
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I read your argument post and I read the same opinions online. I would like to ask if you considered that Deruth might have hestitant to communucate his feelings because he mught lose his relationship with Cale. I agree with the opinions that communication is important but shouldnt Cale also communicate his father?
Also, you cant deny that Cale wasnt the best person in his version in the story. He was called a trash for a reason.
I also feel that you keep Violan, Basen and Lily out? Do you not consider them as Cale's family? Why or why not?
Anyway, interested on what you think
My take on this:
Deruth is the adult. Cale is the child. It doesnt matter how many times have passed. That is their relationship and their dynamic. It is the duty of the adult/parent to care for the child and assume all the heavy lifting in the relationship until Cale himself is an adult. The main reason is that in the end, it is the adult/Deruth who brought Cale into this world and is tasked to guide said Cale - not the other way around. And Deruth's problems or flaws will affect Cale no matter what. I also like to highlight that almost all power and authority resides in Deruth as a parent and adult in all ways - good or bad.
ETA: There is a line in Sekiro by the last boss - Hesitation is defeat. It's fine to hesitate - as long there is also an acceptance of the risk with the choice. In this case, the growing gap and distance between the two, the continuation of resentment or other negative feelings Cale has for the relationship. While distant is not yet formed as full rejection here, constant isolation and uneasiness in the relationship are good ingredients to maybe a permanent no contact with each other in the future. TLDR - Hesitate at your own risk.
re:Cale communicaitng. Sure, Cale can talk. The issue is - is he comfortable enough with his relationship with Deruth to actually communicate his true feelings? Deruth distanced himself and Cale would have definately felt that. Deruth was given a wide berth due to his grief and his remarriage - assuming it helped him cope in his roles. But his relationship with Cale never did recover pre-Jour's death because rifts and gaps formed during the distance. So, if there are already gaps and issues, do you think Cale would be comfortable bringing his concerns without being accused of destroying/delaying Deruth's happiness? If this is the case, shouldnt be the parent/adult be the one who gives reassurance, love and all those things that help them reconcile and their relationship grow? Or is it another burden for the child who has to hide his own authentic self because he already experienced being isolated and hurt from the person who is supposed to give him unconditional love?
2nd question - He wouldnt need to be a trash if his own father protected his new family over the status he inherited.
For the third question - Violan and her children are his stepfamily. Deruth chose them for himself - not for Cale. Stepfamily dynamics are complex and way more complicated vs bio/nuclear family. There are many issues but I would say that Cale cared for them because his father brought them in Cale's life. One argument (reflected in real life) is since they made Deruth happy, Cale should be happy that his father is happy because of them. In a morbid sense, it can implied that post-Jour, Cale wasnt able to give his father happiness or him being enough for Deruth to move on from grief (not that he is supposed to in the first place). In way, Cale deserves them than his father but his link to them is very weak. The Henituse is a classic high-functioning dysfunctional blended family.
I know many people hate the prefix of 'step' and 'half' - but in the 10yrs that this family has been doing, there has been no evidence they came together or act as one unit. It's always Cale or Deruth + Violan (& OFC Basen and Lily). Violan will side by her husband and take Deruth's lead (wrongly or rightly) because she did marry him (you dont marry children, I cant fathom why she did marry this man but I digress) and Basen and Lily would side with their parents. So, I dont think they are a family - they are people who live in the same place and trying to get along like roommates. Besides, it seems that Deruth + Cale isnt considered as a family in its own right.
Hope this satisfies your interest and ask away again if I left out something...
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chuuyrr · 1 year
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your latest work got me crying bro :') it hit right in the feels </3 i also want dazai to know that baby scarlet doesnt like him JUST BECAUSE he reminds her of gojo, but rather because he himself has fatherly vibes and that she likes him because he is simply just as he is :))
what if... baby scarlet reader IS actually his biological daughter, but in another universe?
dazai osamu with scarlet witch! baby! reader as his biological child
bungou stray dogs x reader
masterlist of the series
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╰➤ CW(s): spoilers for bungo stray dogs, single father! dazai osamu and headcanons + scenario of fluff/comfort content
╰➤ PAIRING(s): platonic! bungo stray dogs x child! reader
╰➤ SYNOPSIS: in which dazai osamu has a biological child who happens to be the scarlet witch, and you get to read his adventure as a single father from holding you for the first time, getting scared when you pop up at random places, and most importantly, when he cannot nullify nullify your ability.
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headcanons !
a new beginning . . .
dazai osamu being a single father is something that no one expected of him. even he couldn't believe it. he would never have guessed that the woman he met when he defected from the port mafia bore you.
unfortunately, your mother was targeted and left with no choice but to contact dazai again to tell him about you, desperate to give her baby a good life even if it meant giving up her own to the hands of her killer.
dazai was barely nineteen as he was laying low after defecting from the mafia, but as soon as he heard the news, he went looking for you. curious of having a child.
dazai was hesitant as he stared down the little bundle of sunshine before him.
there was no doubt that you were his child, and DNA testing confirmed it.
but him, a father? how is this possible? dazai wasn't ready. he was a bad person. dazai genuinely believes he doesn't deserve you, but when you extended your tiny hand towards him, making adorable baby sounds, all of his thoughts were silenced.
a single tear rolled down his cheek as he remembered odasaku's last words as he extended his finger towards you and you wrapped it in your tiny hands with the sound of your coos and happy noises.
save the weak and protect the orphans.
reaching for you and holding you for the first time triggered emotions in his chest, leaving him with a fuzzy and warm feeling.
it felt strange to dazai because it was a sensation he had never experienced before, but it was comforting and something he could grow accustomed to.
the struggle of a single father . . .
dazai considers it a challenge. not only was he laying low from the port mafia, but he also has a baby girl to look after.
dazai always finds ways to buy your necessities and eventually get you both a place to live because you guys moved around a lot when he first met you.
dazai keeps a close eye on you, making sure you're safe. given his suicidal tendencies, it was unusual for him to babyproof his residence, but that all changed when he met you. he can't get you harmed :(
now, it's not too bad caring for you, except that you frequently wake up crying in the middle of the night because dazai is drinking and having another one of his tendencies instead of sleeping with you.
dazai did, however, gradually grow out of that habit just for you. (*´︶`*).
papa dazai thinks it's really cute how you loved to sleep all snuggled up against his chest and that you couldn't sleep unless he was with you. you were such a cute and clingy baby. how could he ever resist you?
and you know how dazai can control his heartbeat? dazai manipulates his own heart into a calm and soothing beat that helps you sleep while you snuggle up against his chest as he holds you closely.
on the other hand, dazai almost gets a heart attack everytime he finds you in the most unexpected places.
he leaves you on the bed one minute, and the next thing he knows, you're in the kitchen, on top of the fridge, or suddenly inside the cabinet. there was even a time when dazai found you on top of a tree.🧍
dazai genuinely believes he will die from a heart attack one day, and he's also quick to assume it's because of your ability, and boy, was he right, just not in the way he expected.
dazai thought for sure your ability had to do something with teleportation, but he learned that was just one of your abilities when he came back after preparing your baby bottle to find you floating and giggling in mid-air surrounded by a red glow.
i'm sorry, but dazai's reaction was literally, "OH NO, YOU CAN’T BE LIKE CHUUYA 💀."
dazai scrambles to grab you from mid-air, using his no longer human ability to nullify whatever your ability was, but he was taken aback when you continued to glow with red psionics even while he held you.
dazai eventually grew accustomed to caring for a child and landed a job at the armed detective agency, where he could earn enough money for you while also fulfilling odasaku's wish for him.
dazai is surprisingly responsible in raising you to be a well-mannered toddler who is very much a daddy's girl, which surprises kunikida, who had become your very protective caring uncle when dazai first brought you to the agency.
however, there are definitely times when kunikida questions and scolds dazai for teaching you silly things like pranks and such, or, more importantly, dazai teaching you how to punch someone's eyes out ...
the fears of a single father . . .
dazai used to be completely fearless. he didn't even fear death. instead, dazai welcomed it instead with open arms but when he you came to his life, that was when he developed many fears.
starting with you getting hurt. dazai is a very protective papa. he can't stand it when he sees you in pain, especially when he sees tears in your eyes.
as soon as dazai learns that you have been harmed or taken hostage by bad people, he returns to his old mafia black blood ways. dazai's coming for them, and he won't hesitate to kill just to make sure you're safe in his arms again.
another fear that dazai has is you liking his old mafia partner, nakahara chuuya.
dazai thought it was funny at first when you met chuuya and called him your mama because you actually believed he was your mama. *cue chuuya blushing madly and screaming with rolls of r's while he carries you in his arms 💀*
however, dazai was quickly humbled when you began clinging to chuuya and refusing to return to him because you had grown real fond of the chibi he despises.
chuuya is smug about being your favorite and he uses that to tease dazai. even though it irritates dazai, he trusts chuuya enough to care for you because he knows chuuya has a soft spot for children and treats you kindly and sweetly.
chuuya spoils you, you know? maybe a little more than dazai expected, because chuuya frequently buys you lots of dollhouses, stuffies, and expensive luxury branded baby clothes, but he eventually uses that to his advantage by telling you to ask chuuya for specific things that he would buy for you.
"oi, mackerel! i know you're the one making [name] ask me to buy her wagyu steak. just so you know, i know damn well that your kid likes omurice, not steak!"
putting aside all the silly fears he have, what dazai truly fears the most is you being taken away from him, and that fear worsens when he discovers your prophecy as the scarlet witch, the very reason why you possessed such a special ability called chaos magic that he cannot nullify at all.
dazai will protect you at all costs. he cannot afford to lose his precious baby girl :(
so, if you start displaying your chaos magic, especially in public, dazai will strongly advise you not to use it unless absolutely necessary, given that he cannot nullify it.
sure, it's difficult for you not to use your wiggly-woos because you don't have complete control over them yet, but you can't blame your papa.
dazai is afraid that you will attract unwanted attention, particularly from bad people who would want to exploit your abilities, and he simply wishes to keep you, his baby, safe.
scenario !
dazai was nineteen years old when he returned home after buying you your baby necessities from a konbini near where you and him were currently staying.
he found you, his precious bundle of joy, sitting on the floor, playing with the toy blocks he got you in the small living room of the apartment as soon as he closed and locked the door and slipped off his shoes.
"a-ah! ah!" you exclaimed, ignoring your toys and tapping the floor with your tiny hands while starinf happily at dazai.
"why, hello there, my little darling!" dazai greeted you, placing the plastic bag of items he had purchased on the ground and smiling down at you, "did you miss me already? sorry had to leave you, [name]-chan! papa had to buy milk."
dazai extended his arms towards you to pick you up when you suddenly placed both of your hands on the floor. as you began to push yourself up to stand on two feet, stumbling even, his eyes widened in surprise, realizing what you were doing.
"[name]-chan?" dazai muttered, blinking and unable to say anything more as you stood up on your own, something he had never seen you do before.
"ah.. ahh!" you made cute baby noises as you slowly approached him, wobbling and nearly stumbling to your side, prompting dazai to prepare himself to catch you if you fell.
dazai's lips eventually formed a smile, a genuine and pure smile. his eyes lighting up at sight of you making your way towards him, "that's it, [name]-chan! you can do it, my little one!"
you were making your first steps.
"just a bit more, [name]-chan! come to papa!" dazai happily cheered you on, opening his arms out wide for you as he sat down on his knees.
with that, you approached him, squealing as you heard him call your name and saw him open his arms for you. you briskly walked straight into his embrace, and as soon as you did, dazai enveloped you in his arms.
"you did it, [name]-chan!" exclaimed dazai as he tightened his hug, holding you ever so close to his chest, kissing your forehead and nose, looking at you proudly, "that's my baby!"
you gave him a gummy smile, squealing and cooing as your tiny hands wrapped around him, and that's when dazai noticed a single tear rolling down his own cheek.
"dada!" was what you said to him.
dazai's lips trembled as he saw and felt his vision blur from the fresh and hot tears he couldn't stop as he stared down at you, watching you cling and happily smile at him.
"dada! dada!" you repeated again, cooing.
dazai quickly wiped his tears away and picked you up, tightly embracing you as he swayed you side to side ever so slightly in his grasp.
"that's right! i'm your dada, [name]-chan!" said dazai, but he cried even more tear. he was crying again, but was incredibly happy. his heart was racing with a warm and fuzzy sensation.
hearing you call him your dad was something was going to cherish forever. dazai kissed your face after that, widening his smile before pressing his forehead against yours as you giggled and cupped his face in your tiny hands.
dazai said lovingly as he nuzzled his nose against yours, "i love you, [name]-chan, and dada's proud of you, always.
your papa had a difficult childhood, and most importantly, he had an empty black void in his heart, but it was all clear to him now. death and a life of violence was not the answer he had been looking for in his entire life.
dazai now found a reason to live, and it was you.
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[ author's notes ! you have no idea how much i enjoyed writing this. i made it extra fluffy and wholesome. thank you so much for requesting, hope you enjoyed reading this <3 ]
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Im so in love with the narrative use of sentimonsters in ml???? And how it serves as a metaphor for parents who are Wrong??
You have Félix, who’s the most direct case of “parent thinks that having a child is like a little trophy and checkmark on the list and doesn’t want the child to actually be a person or exist or cause inconvenience.” His father literally didn’t see him as a person and based on the fact that he literally broke Félix’s miraculous he seemed to see Félix as either disposable or unbreakable. There was no sense that he needed to be loved or protected.
But then you also have Adrien, who Gabriel *theoretically* loves. I think Gabriel actually thinks that he loves Adrien as a person. But he has this idea that he can make Adrien happy through obedience alone. He thinks he can just order Adrien to be content or to have the same priorities as him. He calls Adrien melodramatic a few times even and it’s like???
Gabriel *theoretically* wants Adrien to be happy but it doesn’t cross his mind that it’s going to take more than him yelling “hey Adrien i order you to be calm and content.” And ordering Adrien to love the career Gabriel Chooses and love the girl Gabriel Chooses for him and the hobbies that Gabriel Chooses for him. And when that doesn’t work he decides that Adrien is just Beyond His Help and will be better only with his mom there.
And it’s like???? Very fun nuance with this idea of,,, you cannot yell or force someone into being happy,,, it doesn’t matter if you have their best interest in mind,,, if you never listen to what they actually want or see them as a human person then you’ll still be the villian in their story
And THEN!!!!! You have Kagami who’s a completely different case even though she starts with the same circumstance. Because Kagami IS treated like a person and has a good amount of autonomy. It’s just all Conditional. She can do whatever she wants with her life as long as its also exactly what her mother wants. And her mother doesn’t always explain why. And the thing with that is!!! It DOES work for a while!!!! She does trust her mother and actually talk to her about things. And she will defend her mother to the ends of the earth.
But all it takes is that One argument where kagami says “hey . please stop making me date adrien. i dont want to . its hurting me” and tomoe TAKES HER RING instead of listening. And its like. Thats IT.
It doesnt matter if you spent years making a foundation of trust in a relationship because Eventually your kid is Going to grow up and theyre Going to disagree with you on Something Eventually. Kagami was so ready to listen to whatever her mother had to say but her mom didn’t elaborate on anything she just basically said “okay if you wont listen without question you dont get to have autonomy” and of COURSE kagami’s gonna be like. Okay. Bye then.
And i just think it’s soooo cool how there’s these different Layers of “parents forgetting that their child is a person and not a tool for your own personal gain” and that ml shows how it can manifest in so many different ways and it shows that it messes ,up trust and relationships and then it also shows that the kids are all okay once they have love and support and someone who treats them as a person with autonomy
and theres this theme of “it is not too much to ask that you be treated like a human person . no matter how broken or how much of a disappointment you think you are. you are still in the right for demanding to be seen as a person.” And i just. I really love my senti kids i love them soooo much
this show really said “it doesnt matter what sacrifices your parents made for you, youll never be an object that they own” and i just,,, yessssss
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hoyotournament · 6 months
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Semifinals: Nahida vs Kiana Kaslana
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(Propaganda under the cut)
Kiana:
TLDR: she's kiana kaslana what do you MEAN!!!! kiana is a beautifully written character who fully encapsulates what hi3 is about and she's so full of love and guilt and (most importantly) hope. she's a clone who struggles with her own identity/inhumanity and traumas extending from when she was a young child and her guilt but is so so resilient and so so so so compassionate which ultimately reinforces her humanity :)
kiana's character IS the honkai impact thesis statement. i don't even mean it as in she's the literal main character and face of honkai i genuinely mean it when i say she just IS honkai impact. she reflects every single theme that they portray [hope over nihilism (chapter 25 || the flame chasers and just. the previous era in general), having agency over your identity and your own story (himeko, her being k423 and being so linked to sirin, everlasting flames || the kaslana household name honestly, bronya, fu hua, mei, sirin), believing in the humanity's inherent worth (chapter 25, arc city || elysia <- important since as a current era herrscher, she is a successor to elysia AND as kiana kaslana, she is a narrative parallel of elysia), having faith in the youth (himeko, kevin || the other flame chasers! notably su), etc.] her character being so reflective is also sooooo OUGH to think about when you view it as a reflection of honkai's 50,000 year samsara because kiana is a representation of these themes coming full circle (especially since many of these stretch back to the previous era and elysia).
SHE FEELS SO MUCH. she's so full of love and guilt. she clearly prioritizes others over herself and part of her arc is her learning to value and love herself as well!!! she would give herself for the world ten times over because she holds so much affection for humanity!! (WHILE FEELING DEHUMANIZED BECAUSE OF HER IDENTITY AS BOTH A HERRSCHER AND K423) and it's actively apart of her character's growth :'')
dear god her growth… okok. so i think first you have to understand that a lot of kiana's growth obviously coincides w general maturity as she grows from a teenager to a young adult. but aside from that i think people often forget that younger kiana is incredibly self sufficient since her father literally left her with little to no explanation when she was like. what 8? the insecurity she feels at that! the anger she has to navigate while also balancing it with her own feelings of missing and loving him. basically: kiana has struggled a lot w instability and is thus kinda good at navigating it. ex: she isnt shaken by nagazora and literally tries again and again and again to save mei and convince mei to let her help. the thing is this fucks w her a bit though because a big thing that she does as a means to cope w instability is avoiding them (not reflective of real life of course, but in the fictional hi3 this is partially represented in kiana's repressed memories about her actual origins as k423). she can not stand the realization that she killed himeko that she's so deep in denial and doesnt truly realize it until more than 10 chapters after himeko dies! she's so horrified with her being a herrscher she actively tries to not use her powers out of fear, even when it puts her in harms way (the chapter XI-EX CG!!!!!! her literally trying to kill herself!!) she literally runs away from her friends and loved ones because she's so scared of hurting them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! which is why her promise to himeko to not run away is so important!! because it addresses one of kiana's biggest flaws!!!!! this is especially important bc her refusal to continue her avoidance feeds into her arc during the herrscher of dominion chapters where she both faces her own guilt/identity and deliberately chooses perseverance and hope over nihilism!! she is hope!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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