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hangesangel · 2 years

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I cannot stop thinking about Yelena that knows you have a massive crush on her, and she is lowkey teasing you by staring at you for too long or brushing her hand over your own, maybe even flirting with you to get you all shy and quiet 💕 pleassse a fluffy one shot with this Yelena 😭💓✨

OMGGG hiii Azelma <33 IM SO SORRY this was late,,, ran into some health issues but! one Yelena one shot coming RIGHT UP ☝🏼

- OKAY SO, this is absolutely the cutest thing and honestly i wanted to write a couple of things/head canons before— and pls when i was reading your description and imagining it, deadass got me like:

- bc i would love to ASSUME, that i can see right past Yelena’s games, but nahhhh Yelena’s too clever to let you get a read on her.

- she stops, retreats, and starts acting different. To the point of making you think you’re a fool for taking it too far. or thinking it had a deeper meaning. making you blush and avoid eye contact.

- she knows you are into her(she’s into you as well, if not more), and has to make you fall into her grasp.

- But it isn’t too far, it’s exactly where she wants ya. Bc you could be looking away, or at a textbook(a school/college setting for this would be perfect for Yelena, especially for your Yandere!Yelena, Azelma ;)

- And when you’re too busy looking over the chapter in the textbook, she’d just probably lightly place her hand over your own thats holding the side of the page, to get your attention, but her words are all related to whatever convo you’re having.

- literally making you go insane on the inside. HEHEE anyways so heres the senario!!!! (sorry this is a lot!)

Cheeky

(i didn’t know what to title this, don’t judge me pls )

Genre: fluff

yelena x reader

Summary: even though the end of the semester is still weeks and weeks away, you were struggling so much with current piled up assignments. It was so much you decided to schedule and meet up with a tutor. Attending one of the largest universities in your city, your tutor could’ve been anyone. So then, little did you expect your classmate to walk in-

- Groaning, and getting more frustrated by the minute, as you were trying to understand the formulas to solve the algebra problems, for your current lesson.

At some point your back was starting to kill you and ache more, from being hunched over, this past half hour. You really were starting to regret the college life, not because of how fun college can sometimes be, or how many benefits you have as a student. But because of the never ending unexpected piled up work that you end up with, the moment you look away for three seconds. Though at least this semester you were able to get out of your comfort zone, slightly and make some friends, which made you look more forward to going to your classes.

Although teacher wise, you had luck on your side this time, since they’re pretty flexible and understanding. It was the course work that, overtime made your brain utterly stop functioning while doing it. At some point it became a rather, rapid habit for you to use excuses for going to cafes, or libraries, in order to “study”. In reality you’d have the assignment open but it ever barley gets any progress. And that was the routine, for two months later.

Not even your friends could’ve been able to help you now, and you didn’t wanna pressure them more, so you applied for a meeting with a tutor. This time you made sure to understand and put more effort, in make up for the other times you’ve neglected your assignments. Had already gone into the schools system to check what time worked for you and which tutor was available, and then after setting it up to be in person, you now wait. However, there was one other thing lately that had made you look even MORE forward to one of your classes, was a crush you had grew later for your classmate and seat mate, yelena.

Yelena had always caught your attention. But at the time, it wasn’t enough for you to feel things and to turn you into a heat packet whenever you’d see or talk to her.

Her calm and quiet demeanor, put you under such a spell, it felt like you had to reflect her behavior. Or hide away every time she’d look straight at you, and stare your outfit, down and back up. You absolutely pool into a heated mess and all her silent flirting made you wanna close off, and hide. Though, you never did, you weren’t so gushing over her that you were blind to her games. You knew exactly what she was doing, and most times you did fall for those games, but you’d do it all over again if it meant spending more time and getting her attention.

Now, here you sit and finally feel the slight uncomfortableness creep in slowly, from smiling for too long. You sit up in your seat, and fix yourself to for more comfort. As looking up in realization, that your tutor still hasn’t arrived and the cafe room you rented for the day is almost up if they don’t come any sooner.

“damn... where are they”, slightly whispering, when you’ve picked up your phone to check the time and open it up. Might as well allow it to entertain you, as you dread these passing minutes. Some part of you thinks you should just collect yourself, give up and just ‘treat yourself’ again. The thought of a delicious meal, with a donut after it was slowly possessing you to act upon the idea. But the other half of you wants to stay, and get some help so you can pass and move on.

But you didn’t need to dread for any longer. Not when, you barely see a figure from the windows, pass next to and pause at the door handle. When the door handle creates it’s own alarm for you to feel relief that the tutor had shown up. Closing the door behind them and settling in, at the same time you, bend to the side at your bag to get some notes and your assignment.

“Sorry, i’m late, had a talk with the professor after class.”

You forgive them, and bite down your frustration at them for being a bit late. however, then it all completely flushes away and your frustration turns your blood cold upon, your brain clicking together at who just possibly walked in by the sound of their voice.

“Yelena....!” your voice utterly exposing a bit fear, as you’ve turned to make sure your ears weren’t playing tricks on you. Her light chuckle, at your reaction, reminded you to collect yourself. Yelena seated herself, “Yea! it’s me, Y/N.” looking away to the other side, with a grin and quickly, she pulled out her own laptop on the table in front.

“why? did ya miss me?..”

automatically turning your head away to the side, with a pfft, to scratch the side of your head. Yelena knew how to pull your strings, how to play with your physical and emotional state just by a single glance. But of course, you aren’t oblivious, you can read exactly what those looks were saying with those eyes.

That’s why you try your hardest to somehow not fall for her games, or at least take control,

“please.. how would i miss you..” mumbling the last part.

“hmm? you said something?” Not even bothering to look up at you, making you think you were able to get away with that. It was hard for you however, to do that, not when you’ve started to crush hard on her.

Stressfully you take your bottled drink and gulping some of it down, “No, i was just not expecting you to be my tutor, is all.”, not noticing Yelena’s pause in her searchings on her notes, just to slowly look up at you with a smirk but slight jealousy brewing inside.

“Of course,” Her statement halting to pull her chair closer to you, “i’m your tutor for today, and i’m guessing you must be failing if you need my help.” And here the cycle started, however you were to taken back by her comment, to register how close you both are at the corner of the table, and her forearm touching your own.

“huh?! i’m NOT failing...”, the heat in your face from the physical contact fillling in, “i just couldn’t understand this section, and needed a tutor”, confessing as you turn your head away all shy and offended.

Looking then down and grabbing your pencil to point and to start discussing with Yelena, what you needed help with. You needed to distract yourself and you won’t know how long you’ll last, with your personal bubble constantly being poked at. Quick witted, she takes notice of this and plays along, but doesn’t stop.

Not when everytime she had you peek over at her own notes, she wouldn’t just be nice and give them to you to let you read it over. But rather, make you slightly bend over the table, with your knees still bent, as she stares you and all over your body. Taking a deep breath and then half assed giving you “mmm”, or “yeah, that’s correct”, whenever you ask about something, as if mentally still tutoring you and not at all in her own world sometimes.

After an hour passing, of what should’ve been mainly studying. Turned out to be some studying, teasing, lots of laughing, and you ending up with a cramp in your cheeks. This session, with being able to have time to spend with Yelena is not something you were trade. Feeling far more drawn to her, and got to understand her better. From both ends what started as small verbal battles, the tension turned into a more comfy, relaxed and almost loving atmosphere.

You’ve both taken breaks now, hand in phone, scrolling thru it as you both laugh at what you find and send it to each other,

(did i mention you exchanged numbers.......)

Finally, the tall blonde taking a deep breath, and sitting up with a suggestion in mind. Almost allowing temptation to take over her, and almost grabbing your hand in hers, she hesitates, enclosing her fingers back to her palm and pull it back. You look over with your eyes still glued to your screen, “Yelena, whats up?”, “you okay?”, sitting up as well and matching her position, as you try to scan whats on her mind, and curiously tilting your head to the right.

She looks at the walls digital timer, and then down at her watch on her left writs, “our time for this room is almost over..” the tone in her sentence, displaying disappointment, as her last words fade quietly. “yeah.. it is.” agreeing before upon continuing,

“Thank you for your help today... though i know we didn’t do much of our assignments or study, but i think i’ve got the hang of it now!” as you looked over the papers in front of you as if to remind you to what had happened as you confessed your words, and ending it with a genuine smile.

Yelena already slightly smiling, but then returning back your big smile, when she looks up to lock her eyes with yours. Suddenly, that flustered feeling creeped in quickly, and you look down out of shyness. Breathing in, “Y/n..”, eyes widening at the gesture of her calling for your name. It does something to you, makes you feel more than just special, especially special to her.

“yea..?” you still avoid contact but respond. She lowers her head hoping it would get you to meet her eyes but for probably, the first time, she failed.

“well... i was just thinking if you’d like to hang out somewhere...after this” Yelena, might’ve failed the first silent gesture, but certainly her verbal proposal halted your actions and you looked up at her in slight awe, but more shocked. “are you serious?”, trying to mask your excited shock as much as possible before continuing, “i mean... where would we go?”, other than the request shocking you, you’re surprised by Yelena’s calmness, she hasn’t teased you in minutes.

Some part of you hopes Yelena will ask for a small date, or at least hinting at that. Yelena looks around a little and thinks

Before allowing her to respond, you speaking getting her attention, and suggest, “maybe we can go to that cute cafe at the corner, and get something to eat? i am hungry, how about yourself?” asking and curiously waiting for her answer.

Her ears perking at the idea, “A cute cafe at the streets corner...? you mean that couples’ cafe?” Yelena selectively dragging her words, as you nod and respond “yes! that one!”

Although Yelena’s behavior took you back once again, because sure it was a “couples’ cafe”, because to your local UNI, it’s common people go on dates there and even couples hang round there oftenly

But, for you, it was your favorite cafe because it was also a “nature” cafe. The delicious scent of coffee and food, along with the aromatherapy the workers apply there, and the best part was they had two cats that roamed the cafe. It had became your comfort place over time.

Pursing her lips inwardly together, the muscles creating a small, tiny smile, Yelena looks to the side and regains herself. To look back and say “aahh.. Y/n so you did you wanna go on a date with me?” She laughs a little cooing at you, and continues, “....our sweet, innocent Y/n, why didn’t you just ask me out?”, “instead of just teasing me and beating around the bush?”

At this point you were beyond baffled, and frozen at her comment, and teasing remarks. If anything she was playing around with you. You would’ve kept your likeness towards her as closed off as possible. Not ever thinking they’d have an interest in you.

The past small, but lingering time you spent with her, maybe even start to consider getting close. At the same time keeping a distance so she wouldn’t notice. Oh, but as the universe saw this and pushed Yelena to your game. As you’ve started to calm down from the shock and back to reality. You see Yelena almost rushly collecting her stuff and to get up out of her seat afterwards.

“so? what do you say?” the question turning your attention to her, still stunned. “oh!, oh yeah,” agreeing and suddenly your body is functioning again, and even without your own control. Gathering your stuff along with her. wanting to say something, to add on unneeded context, “i don’t have much plans for today, at all so, i’m down..” , finally cleaning everything up. Picking up your backpack to swing it to your back, as you’ve continued talking, “It’s a really pretty cafe! i think you’ll love it there!” walking around the table to meet where Yelena had waited for you at the door. Finishing off with giving up, a smile at her, and she too returns the expression with adoreness in her eyes as she looks down.

Yelena, had never shown it but deep down loved hearing you talk, especially when you forgot yourself and just kept rambling. Absolutely her favorite thing.

“mmhm,”, “c’mon, i’ll drive us there too.” she offers, right before opening the door.

You won’t understand how fast you got to this point, but you’re not complaining. In fact, your even thanking the universe, you feel like a hyper, excited child on the inside.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

also smth else i wanna add, i saw that audio from tiktok that goes

“you left your diary at my house.”

“and i read those pages- you really love me... baby”

this really was Yelena x Reader, in this.

#sorry Azelma if this was bad #ill improve i swear!!!!!!#attack on titan #yelena #yelena x y/n #yelena aot x reader #aot fic #aot yelena #aot yelena x reader #yelenaily #yelenamwah #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan yelena #aot women #aot fanfiction

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cuddlesslut · 4 years

Text

Alrighty lets get started!! So i still really new to this so as to not overwhelm my self im going to try and stick to two charcters for now. I’m sorry if its not what your looking for. For the two im going to do my boys Suga and Daichi. Only because i just did Kuroo and because im still trying to figure out how to write for Reon. I might however come back and write a part 2 with them.

Prompt : Boys reacting to their tom boyish crushes all dolled up (Daichi & Suga)

just sayin i wrote this while drinking mojitos

P.S. this prompt reminds me of a series called Sinful Sweethearts by @thosenerdy3amthings so definitely go check that out!!

Warning: NSFW, FOUL LANGUAGE

Daichi Sawamura NSFW

you have know Daichi basically your whole life

growing up next to him your parents were very close which meant that you two were kept close together

in fact until you made it to middle school and started playing volleyball for the girls team you had never had any other friends beside Diachi

so it was safe to say that growing up you were more on the boyish side

you were just more comfortable in sweats and baggy workout shorts than skirts.

you even wore pants to school

even highschool though you went to a different school Diachi stayed your closest friend you often finding yourself at the Karsuno practice after yours had ended.

No matter how much your teammates fussed they couldnt convince you to ditch the large hoodies and sweats.

You and Daichi always supported each other. you never missed his games and he never missed yours (as long as scheduling permited)

the third year boys often teased Diachi for his realtionship with you

“i dont know why yall dont just date already,” suga complained while daichi stated his usual reply “ shes my best friend you know its not like that” he huffs

Suga scowls “ first of all rude im supposed be your best friend, and second it cant be as just friends as you say when you get so protective when the seond years simp for her.”

“i just dont want her feeling weird around the team. you know Noya and Tanaka can be intense,” he explained

“still that doesnt acount for the way Y/N looks at you,” Asahi added to the convo

“what are you talking about Y/n doesnt look at me any special way, we’re just friends ,” daichi stated a little to forcefully almost as if he was convincing himself.

Suga and Asahi share a knowing look thinking about how their captain can be so dense.

“any way are you ready for your birthday party tomorrow night ,” Suga asked smiling brightly.

“i told you i dont need a party,” Daichi scolded for the fifth time today.

“ahh c’mon its not everyday you become an adult like the rest of us DI,”

finally admitiing defeat Diachi concluded the conversation.

...

it was finally the next day you were more nervous for this party than any volleyball game you had played.

and here you were standing in the tight black dress Suga with the help of your team, you should never wager against suga

Had convinced you to wear to diachis party tonight

still shell shocked you stood in front of the mirror of the bathroom Suga had chose.

It was weird to see yourself so girly

the black dress clung tight to your body. leaving little the imagination.

Suga better be glad he won that bet

finally calming yourself you look around for your best friend

Finally catching sight of him Diachi stood with Suga and Asahi next to the bar of the club.

Suga was the first to recognize you a evil smirk hitting his face as he drew Diachis attention to you.

You couldnt help but notice how hot he looked in his button up and dark wash jeans, his shirt clinging so close to his chest.

he looked to damn good you thought as you bit your lip

little did you know the birthday boy was having an epiphany of this own

his eyes raked up and down you mind wandering

had you always had such a great ass under those baggy sweats

“Happy Birthday Captain,” you teased.

Daichi took a sharp breath suddenly taken back by the way the title fell from your soft lips

all he could think about was how you would sound screaming that from under him.

lost in thought he missed the smirk his best friend had as Suga put his pan into motion

you stood there sway to the beat of the loud club music wanting to dance

“Y/n why dont you take the birthday boy for a dance,”

you smiled before Diachi could protest saying how how he doesnt dance

you pulled him to the dance floor pushing your ass against him reaching up and wrapping your arms around his neck pulling him close to your body as you grinded to the beat

his hands found their place on your hips

his cock twitched from the pressure of your ass in that short tight dress rubbing against his crotch

you were not helping his growing situation

bodies getting lost in the movement

you looked up at the boy had been your best friend your whole life with one thought in you head

the same thought flashed into diachis brain

being bold he crashed his lips into yours

Lost in the contact the kiss lasted forever getting more and more intense

your not sure how you to got here

but here you were straddling Diachi in the back of his car

his lips sucking bruises into your neck, his large grabbing your ass as you bounced on his thick cock

“FUCK,” Daichi breathed heavily pulling you down into a sloppy kiss tongues exploring “ youre so tight come for me beautiful.”

“im so close Captain you moan feeling him stretch you.

thats it that one word flipped the switch for him he gripped tight on to your waist to hold you secure as he powerfully drilled his hips up into you.

hitting your spot deeper and with such accuracy you were both driven over the edge as you clinched tight around him pulling his release from him.

you both sat out of breath in the hot car, the widows fogged and the smell of sex stinging the air.

“happy birthday,” you said giving him a quick kiss.

he glanced at the watch on his wrist

he smirked up to you “you know my birthday isnt over yet,” you smiled already liking where this was going. “lets head back to mine. I’m not done with you yet.”

Koshi Sugawara Slight NSFW

He’s had a crush for you since the beginning of the school year

He thought you were the most adorable thing he’d seen

with your sweaters that were two sizes to big. (sweater paws)

You two became friends through a writing project.

you too quickly hit it off you loving his wild humor

its sometimes seemed like hed flirt with you but you figured it was just his personality and you were too shy to do anything

poor suga spent so much time flirting with you but you never paid it any attention so he figured you didnt view him that way and he was okay with that he just wanted to be your friend if nothing else.

and so thats how six months went by of being no more than friends

always returning Sugas simple firsts with a shy smile.

It wasnt until the celebratory party some random third year threw to congratulate the boys on making it to nationals

You sat at your best friend Kyioko’s house.

This was the first party she was able to convince you to attend and she was making sure it counted.

there would be no big sweaters or jeans tonight

tonight you were borrowing Kyiokos clothes.

She dressed in a tight (favorite color) lace halter crop top with the lace exposing just the right amount of cleavage. and a pair of blaack shorts hugging your hips thighs on full display.

it wasnt what you were used to this being the most skin you had exposed to the public in years

thats coupled with the make up added to your face you almost didnt recognize yourself

it wasnt what you were used to and thats why when you reached the party and all eyes landed on you. you were slightly relieved that most of the people didnt recognize you.

it was almost exhilarating

kind of like playing pretend.

like tonight you werent Y/N shy and closed off

you were a sexy and confident woman

that coupled with the shots you took with Kyioko. you found your new confidence

thats why when you saw you long time crush and close friend Suga across the room you didnt hesitate to make your way over.

“No way is that Y/n” Daichi gasped causing Sugas attention to slip to where his best friend motioned. “wow i didnt expect to see her here,” Diachi let out with a low whistle.

Suga sucked in a sharp breath not prepared for the sight in front of him.

There you were making you way towards him throw the crowd. a smile on your face but it was hard for suga to focus on that smile when your whole body was on display for him.

His eyes trailed from down your figure taking all of the exposed skin that was normally hidden from him.

the way the lace framed your stomach and cupped your breast. the cut into shirt showing him the most cleavage you had ever shown. moving his eyes down it was hard for him not to whimper at the site of your thighs

this man was entranced in your appearance. hed always thought you were the most beautiful even when you were covered head to toe, but seeing you like this it was hard not to drool.

And he wasnt the only one, Several guys had taken notice of you.

Some stopping you to ask if you were new, cause there was no way’d theyd miss a hot babe like you at school.

to which youd just roll your eyes keeping on your way to your target.

feeling more and more emboldened by the attention you were receiving.

but these boys werent the ones you wanted

being the light weight you are you already had your eyes on your prize

go big or go home

so you you strode right up to the vice captain

“ W- wow Y/n you look great,” Suga stuttered

“thanks Suga,” you say placing your hand on his toned forearm

No turning back now the confidence was here to stay atleast for now

Suga took a deep breath as he took a turn being the shy one. not used to the aura you exuded. were you really the shy girl he knew.

you moved closer enveloping him in a tight embrace

he could feel you tits press tight against him and he was trying not to focus on it not wanting to further anymore of the dirty thoughts crossing his mind

staying close next to Suga you continued your flirtatious assault

dishing back all the flirts you had held back over the months

Finally the straw broke when one of your favorite club songs played through the crowed house and you pulled him close to dance with you.

“c’mon Koshi dont be so timid,” you teased.

Suga wasnt sure if it was hearing his given name grace your beautiful lips or the facts that you had pressed your ass against his crotch moving seductively to the music but he snapped.

Suga placed his hands tight to your hips pulling you closer to him not caring if you felt the growing bulge in his pants.

leaning down “you know if you wanted my attention you didnt have to dress so damn sexy. now i have to deal with all these vultures looking at you,” he whispered his breath hot on your ear.

you turned around wrapping your arms around his neck leaning even closer,

“then why dont we go somewhere private then we wont have to worry about who’s looking,” you smirked heart racing

“i couldnt have said it better,” Suga said leading you out of the busy room ready to have you to himself.

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

Sorry It took so long to write all my work got deleted and I had to start over! I hope you enjoy it 🍵 Anon!!! 💕💕 @🍵anon

Taglist: @emiyummy @insomniish

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #hq #daichi x reader #diachi sawamura #diachi head cannons #sugawara x reader #suga headcanons #haikyuu sugawara #sugawara koshi #haikyuu smut #haikyuu headcanons #🍵 anon

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muwur · 4 years

Text

long distance headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for daichi, suga, hinata & tsukki

❧ gn reader

✎ 1.5k words

a/n: hello yall this is my first post! nobody asked, but i just started this haikyuu reader insert blog, feel free to check my page n see wazzap. also requests are open pls come fhorfjepfiwf;

daichi

✧ after high school, he stayed in miyagi while you went to tokyo, about 5 hours away, for college

✧ texting or calling whenever u can!

✧ you be like “heyyy”

✧ then he clap back with a “go focus on your lecture”

✧ “im not in lectureee”

✧ “you gave me your schedule so i know you’re in the middle of class”

✧ “...”

✧ makes sure you’re awake on time for your classes and calls you if he thinks you’re oversleeping (and hes usually right, this man just KNOWS)

✧ “morning y/n, i think you need to get to class soon”

✧ “mmrghhhghhh” *checks time* “holy sHI-- i forgot to set my alarm. IMMA BE LATE. THANKS DAICHI I LOVE YOU ILL TALK TO YOU LATER BYE”

✧ definitely skips out on some nights out with his friends to video chat you. you catch up, talk about future plans, reminisce, complain about not being able to hug one another, etc. occasionally one of you falls asleep on call, particularly after a long day or week. if he sleeps, you make sure you screenshot his sleeping face and start a picture collection

✧ you hit him up when you get drunk lMAO

✧ “daiichiii, i miss youuu, i needdd youuuu AND i needa peeee---” “hey daichi, this is y/n’s friend. y/n’s pretty out of it now but they’ll be okay! we’re heading back to our place right now” “im gonna pEE IN THIS CAR”

✧ daichi coordinates with your friends to make sure you arrive home safely, use the bathroom, and get tucked into bed. he thanks the universe you have good friends. if it weren’t for them he’d probs have a heart attacc. sends you cute, reassuring voice messages for you to wake up to the next morning with hangover tips he learned from suga

✧ always checks in with you throughout the day, every day. able to pick up on the slightest hints if you’re feeling unwell and calls you immediately to try to make you feel better

✧ makes plans to visit you! you get really excited to introduce him to your college friends (who, after meeting him, tell you not only is he a hottie but is such a kind guy, fosho a keeper. they also ask if he has any cute friends)

✧ either holding your hand or has an arm around you most of the time.

✧ you spend all day together outside and wandering the city, then spend the night back at your place (sorry roommate, but we’re gonna have to kick you out for a lil bit--)

sugawara

✧ you finally secured a job! unfortunately, the company required you to work for a year at their main facility, which was a 4 hour drive away from miyagi

✧ if suga wasn’t needed in miyagi for his teaching job, he would’ve tried to come with you

✧ after unloading your things in your new apartment and before parting ways, suga was like

✧ “everything’s unloaded everything from the car?”

✧ “yes maam”

✧ “do you have enough snacks?”

✧ “we just went to the grocery hun”

✧ “did you bring enough underwear?”

✧ “gDI yEs I dID”

✧ “:c promise to call me often”

✧ “<3333 of course”</p>

✧ good morning texts before y’all leave for work! you send each other cute pictures when you’re getting ready for the day (suga with bedhead, brushing his teeth? suga with his tie half done?? sign me up)

✧ always texts you when something reminds him of you, usually sends a picture along with it

✧ “the store was having a special on oranges today! this one reminds me of you”

✧ “why”

✧ “it just looks so cute~”

✧ will immediately call you if you send him any sort of message that worries him

-“hello? y/n what’s wrong, why is there blood?? speak to me, you haven’t replied in 5 minutes”

✧ “ohhh my bad, i’m just cleaning up don’t worry! i didn’t explain, but the picture i sent you isn’t blood, it’s ketchup i spilled on myself lolol”

✧ poor man nearly fainted from worry

✧ would pay you a surprise visit, making sure to plan it carefully so he knew you weren’t busy with work or plans. brings you gifts of your favorite snacks and a scarf that matches one of his own for the upcoming winter

✧ plans out that weekend for y’all, mans did his research beforehand. together, you toured the city and the surrounding nature, took lots of selfies (and many candids of you), and taste tested lots of foods before returning to your apartment and collapsing into your bed with exhaustion

✧ but y’all not too tired for cuddling n a lil something else >.>

hinata

✧ sure, being a couple hours away was hard for some... but y’all in different countries right now

✧ calls you immediately when there’s any inconvenience that occurs in his life, no matter how minor, thinking you’ll know how to fix it (or at least give him the reassurance he needs)

✧ “hey y/n...”

✧ “what’s wrong? you sound worried”

✧ “i broke my bike, what do i do”

✧ “you what? are you alright?? how? where are you? it’s midnight there, honey”

✧ “i was biking back to my apartment after staying late to practice! i didn’t wanna hit this turtle, so i swerved into a pole and now my bike’s wrecked :**”

✧ “ahh, are you okay?? you’re not hurt are you :(”

✧ “no, im okay... but im tired and i have two miles to go ;(((”

✧ “;( im sorry babe but you gotta walk home. we’ll get you a new bike. ill stay on the phone with you until you get back. tell me about your day <3″</p>

✧ talks about you all the time to his friends! introduces you through video chat to them! “look how pretty and cute y/n is!”

✧ together you work out your time differences and busy schedules so you can chat whenever possible

✧ he lets you know whenever he bought something for you, but never shows it to you because he’s excited to see your reaction in person when you reunite

✧ always asks you to send him pictures of yourself, he wants to see what you look like everyday he’s missing you in real life

✧ you surprise visit HIM. he’s so happy he could cry. shows you around every place he loves, shows you off to everyone he knows, holds your hand the entire time and never wants to let go, is practically glued to you not that you mind

✧ you spend your last night together lying in the grass, hand in hand, looking at the stars and sharing sweet kisses

tsukishima

✧ y’all went to separate universities. while he stayed relatively close to miyagi, you went across the country to okinawa, which was about a 3 hour flight away

✧ he sees all the couples around campus n becomes lowkey bitter, texts you immediately about gross pda like hand holding that he secretly wishes he could do with you “these people in relationships are too happy, i didn’t ask to see them gawk at each other all day” “u just miss me lmao”

✧ once overheard a convo on a shuttle at school that went like :

✧ person 1: “ugh, he’s so cute”

✧ person 2: “why dont you go out with him??”

✧ person 1: “i dunno, his dorm’s down the street, i can’t really do long distance”

✧ nANI (by the way, this is a irl conversation my friend overheard, oml)

✧ tsukki nearly choked on his morning coffee

✧ bothers texts you in class bc he’s bored and in need of your attention

✧ “hey tsukki this prof’s lectures are rlly dense, i needa focus, ill text u after”

✧ “but arent i more interesting than rocks”

✧ “trust me, id even rather watch some dino documentaries with you than be here”

✧ *read*

✧ likes to chat with you most nights as he lies in bed before going to sleep, staring up at the dark ceiling and listening to your voice through his headphones. usually just talking about how your days went (as if you weren’t texting all day) or just casual talk and banter

✧ you remind him to make sure he’s taking care of himself and eating well

✧ “who are you? my mother?”

✧ “no but you’re about to be single”

✧ surprise visits you, tells you it was yamaguchi’s idea when it was really his own and yamaguchi was just teasing him about it

✧ you show him around the city, sharing what you know about its rich history and culture. you visit most areas you both wanted to see before calling it a day

✧ your roommate conveniently spends that night over at their friend’s they just wanna give you alone time, which y’all very much needed. you make it a note to repay your roommate somehow.

✧ sweet lovin that he’s been missing, then some spooning as you sleep

a/n: just wanna tackle these about 4 characters at a time but if u wanna see this headcanon w/ other characters feel free to hmu w/ an ask <3<b> also sorry if i text type a lot and that im inconsistent with my apostrophes, let me know if that’s something you want me to fix!

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu reader insert #daichi x reader #sugawara x reader #hinata x reader #tsukishima x reader #daichi sawamura #sugawara koushi x reader #hinata shoyo x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #sugawara koushi #hinata shoyo #tsukishima kei

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hikari-writes · 4 years

Text

❅A Love Letter I Have to My Lovely and Beloved Friends❅

(I just know that 30 july was a national friendship day and today is like 31 july already at where I am but,,, just pretend that this is also for National Friendship Day 🤡🔫)

As you all know, it's been confirmed that I'll be going on a hiatus two days from now that I really don't know how long it will go on. So, with that in mind, I wished to leave this message to all the wonderful friends I've made while I was active here on Tumblr during quarantine.

I've started this writing blog a few months ago, to be precise, on May where life in quarantine was starting to become a norm. In the few months until now, I did my best to start writing and drawing more using all the free times that I have.

I wouldn't have expected this blog to grow so much in such a short time. To me, it was really mind blowing, seeing that there's a lot of other great content creators here on Tumblr. Yet, the 300+ people who stumbled upon my blog still decided to follow me.

I was really happy to have made many contents that I'm actually proud of posting. And I still can't believe there are people out there who love them. Seeing every one of your comments and reblogs and likes really, really, squeezed my heart and I couldn't be more thankful for your support.

And during these fun times, I was able to make friends with many amazing, talented, fantastic and all the good words I could find in the dictionary people on here. You all are a real gift to me and I hold you guys close to my heart.

I still can't believe I was able to befriend you guys though, like, y'all are so amazing and I was just here like squeaking my name to you like a shy mice lmao. =///= Anyways, thank you for all the good and fun times. Thank you for being with me and helping me with lots of things. Just, thank you for everything. (I'm writing this at 1am like it's sad hours yall I'm crying :')))

If you are ever feeling down, do not ever forget that, even if it's only me, I'll support you to the end of the world because you're just so amazing and fantastic. I love you and never let any hate that's thrown at you let you down because they aren't worth your time.

The people I'll be mentioning below are my dear friends or just people that I have been interacting with during the times I was online, little or not, I still consider you guys to be my friends (very self-proclaimed here sorry)and I'm still honoured by that fact.

@your-local-bnha-writer -Bean, you and your posts are always so wholesome and cute and I love them. Keep being amazing, and we may not interact much, but I still appreciate every little convos we had. Also, wish you luck on tpn, that shit hurted :')

@identifybby -Liaaaa, omg im so v v grateful we became friends. You've helped me with a tons of things and I can't thank you enough for everything you've done to me. You're just so amazing and thank you for always putting up with me, i love you sm.

@minteasketches -Mintea! You're such an amazing artist and I rlly enjoyed our conversations! You might not see this since you're off socmed but just wanna let u know that thank u for being my friends.

@yandere-of-your-dreams -Heyyy sis,, you're always such a sweet bean to me and showering me w love and i appreciate them, stay amazing and I'm sure you'll become an amazing writer.

@shotobabe -Ren, wifey, ilysm thank u for always being with me. You're such an awesome person and keep on being yourself. You're perfect and talented, don't let others tell you otherwise. AND while I'm gone, don't forget to drink lots of water okay? I won't be able to remind you while I'm on a hiatus, but please always remember to drink water. That'd be the first thing I'll ask you once I'm able to be online. And please try to eat more okay bb? I love u.

@takumipineapplexd -Taku! Amazing writer and amazing editor, yes I'm talking about you. You're amazing and keep on making cursed content and being crackhead, i love them.

@bnhabadass -We might not talk much, but I just want to let you know that you're so amazing and I look up to u v much. Literally had a heart attack when u commented on angel wings lmao.

@tomomoni -Mon, love, soft bean, I LOVE U. You've always been so wholesome and cute to every one of your followers and seeing ur interactions literally heals my heart. Your art is amazing so continue being amazing ilysm thank u for being an amazing advisor and listener, I'm v grateful for that. You have no idea how blessed I am to have you as a friend. Meeting you through turn on your airdrop's fanart was F A T E.

@kamabukokompachiro -First time u asked my permission to read my fanfic, I legit teared up. Thank u sm for asking, I couldn't be happier to know that my fic is worthy to be read over for a yt channel. Keep on being amazing and ily.

@kaminii -Kamiiiii, sweet child, you're always so matured and calm and I really adore and respect that part of you (unlike me im v childish and rash) You're an amazing writer and editor and ur aesthetic? 100/10. Love it. You're so talented despite being so young and I'm just, WOW. Ily and thank u for being friends w me. And please fix your sleeping schedule bb. It's rlly not good for your health, like please? Ily.

@katsucutie -I love you and your writing so v much, and I rlly enjoyed talking to you, discussing about Burn Book was rlly fun. I might not be able to know the ending since im gonna go on a hiatus but I'll be sure to catch up to it once im back. Keep being amazing and awesome.

@isolshi -CHERIE, I LOVE YOU AND YOU'RE AMAZING. Don't be so insecure about your writing. They're amazing. And you're also one of the sweetest and cute person I've met here. I always love teasing you cause your reaction is always so funny and cute. Keep being awesome. And please, please, please get enough sleep and drink LOTS of water. I legit would cry if you don't drink more water cher.

@mirakeul -BIANCAAAAA LOVE YOU'RE SO AMAZING AND SWEET LiKE--- please, I love talking to you and thank you so much for always reminding me to eat. Your calligraphy and handwriting are awesome, shshh i don't take criticism. Never stop writing, I love them. And please never forget I love you and you're my best friend okay?

@roxybefab -You've always been the first to ask me to be on my taglist and I'm so v happy because of that. Thank you for everything, and keep on being awesome. You can do this, ily.

@princessofdawn718 -Talking to you about Hamefura has been so fun! I haven't talked w many ppl about isekai so im rlly glad I could talk about them w you. Katarina x nicol ftw! Thanks for talking to me, it was such a pleasure rlly.

@softkodzuken -Maam your writing is A M A Z I N G. I love anon sm and you're rlly so sweet for always replying to every single comment on them. Don't be so insecure about them, they're amazing and i will always stand by that point. Wishing you the best of luck for Undercover!

@lolitsleia -Your art is *chef's kiss* i love them so much, I still can't believe you hadn't had more recognition like why?? Ur oc alex is the cutest thing ever and i love her. Thank you again for drawing Yuki. She looked really beautiful and cute in your drawing.

@samanthaa-leanne -We may not talk much, but when you first followed me back, my heart goes B O O M. You're so amazing and keep being like that. And uh,, good luck with Violet Evergarden if you ever plan to watch it. Prepare a couple of tissue boxes....or dozens.

@miyumtwins -Fellow android users! I first saw you through Bean's post about a tag game and i was like *gasp* another androiders..! I swear that one time i was interacting w you, I didn't actually meant to go off anon,, yes im dumb lmao. Anyways, you're rlly amazing and I'm rlly honoured to be followed by you.

@kawasuno -Your smau? 100/10. Your sense of humour 100/10. They're just so perfect *chef's kiss* I love every one of your updates and they always managed to put a smile on my face, i was like, how did you do that? My sense of humour is nonexistant, teach me your ways sensei. But anyways, you're rlly amazing and awesome. Keep up w that.

@kukusbabe -Tsu, I've never said this, but it's you. It's always been you all along. What i mean is, I've followed you first (i knew u through zara's flopping server yeah!) And when i looked at my dash and saw all your interactions w your moots, despite me haven't legally started haikyuu yet, i decided to follow all of them, soooo if it's not for you, we may not have met each other. Everyone in the kita family, Tsu is the MVP here muah. Also your aesthethic and writing and everything is so kajsjhendnd amazing i LOvE---

@iwaixiumi -King Nami, you're so awesome and amazing,, and I'm really glad to be able to interact w you. All those songs you recommend? Yeah, I'm going to listen and love all of them, thank u so much for the recs. Keep being amazing and to everyone reading this, PLEASE INTERACT WITH KING NAMI MORE SHE DOESN'T BITE---

@shoutodoki -Hello, you're so amazing and talented and im just,,, kekkdjfjdj when you followed me--- and when u figured out i was the anon talking about oboro i was OAKSJEJDDJ please, i was so honoured u know, like ???? Anyways, keep on writing what you love and your art maam? THEY'RE AMAZING LIKE BOTH YOUR ART AND WRITING IS SO KAJSJDJDN pliS im so v honoured to be able to talk to you.

@lisarillia -Please excuse me while I go shout in the corner of how much i LOVE your arts. They're amazing and being able to talk to you was a real pleasure. Keep on doing what you love. They'll be amazing no matter what i swear.

@cutiedrawsbnha -Cutie, honey, you're amazing and your art is so cute! Don't let what haters said get to you. You're going to grow into an amazing artist. If you give in and listen to what they said, you're going to end up like what they said so ignore them honey! I believe in you so keep shipping izuocha, todomomo, and kamijirou and making arts. Lotsa love!

@lilikags -Heeyyyy you sweet cute innocent bean! Don't ever stop writing what you love, you'll grow into a big blog soon enough, before you know it. Just keep making what you love, and as time pass by, I'm sure there will be many people who will find appreciate everything you do. I'm always supporting you.

@baeshijima -SOPHHHHH YOU SWEET CUTE CINNAMON ROLL WAKATOSHI'S WIFE EYE--- You have NO idea how much i love you,, you're so sweet and I honestly don't know what did i do to deserve you. Srsly you're a blessing to me. Thank you for the sweet daily reminder in my inbox, i love each and every one of them. Keep being so cute and wholesome, love you.

@shinsuque -ANAAAAA Thanks again for the Bakugou's memes! I may not be able to do it before i go on a hiatus though *sobbing* Keep being so awesome! I love seeing all your interactions and you're so amazing i honestly don't know why you followed me----

@semiluvr -LYDIA *SOBBING* THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR INVITING ME TO THE KITA FAMILY. Even though we've known each other in less than a week, it already felt like I had known you guys for so long like whotttt. Keep being an amazing and sweet person ily muah

@dumbass-lev -MOMMY, MUI, ILY THANK U FOR ALWAYS BEING SO SWEET YOU'RE AMAZING,,, u have no idea how happy (and also flustered) I am when i saw you asking you want to adopt me like,,, whot I've never been asked to be adopted online b4 so you asking that was a big surprise to me and just,,, remember that i love you and you're an amazing mommy. Hope i wasn't too much too handle as your child lol and thank u, for asking to invite me to the server. It has been a real pleasure to me to be there.

@pudding-head-kenma -DANIE!! We haven't talked much and I've only known you for a short time but I really love your detailed analysis. They're amazing and you're amazing. Thank you for being so sweet and cute. Ily.

@/🦋 nonoi -🦋 NONOIIII!!! IF YOU'RE SEEING THIS, I JUST WANNA TELL YOU THANK YOU FOR BEING MY EMOJI ANON! I love you you're so sweet and bb please please please don't forget me id cry,,,

@astereim -Rein!!! I know we just talked and all but you seem to be a reaally cool and amazing person,, we might not be able to interact much since I need to go prepare things b4 i go on my hiatus though, but just wanna let u know that ily!

@tokoyamis-luv -please don't come for my neck i haven't been active on the server Lol but anyways, zara, you're amazing and your simping for Kurapika is always fun to watxh. Also all the lin manuel edits are *chef's kiss* we may not talk much but i was rlly honoured to be able to interact w you, even a little bit.

@engel-hageshii - YOU, MAAM are a literal angel, and your comments on my fics always managed to make me smile so much. I love you, please never stop being such a sweetheart.

@laylahoran -I've always loved and appreciate every comments you make. I'm v happy I was able to create a content that you can love. You and engel has been some of my firsts followers and I'm really blessed to have you two.

@oyasenpai -Diemmy! You're so sweet and cute and seeing your interaction w my moots (kami) was what made me follow you. Don't let what others said bring you down, okay? Just do what you want because there're always many people supporting you for it.

Special message to the kita family server;

Meanwhile while you guys were talking about me there, I was just innocently scrolling through Tumblr, not knowing what kind of fate I'll be receiving 👁👄👁 No wonder I was sneezing so much 🤧🤧🤧

So, I was just scrolling through the pinned messages and I saw tsu said "mui: can we invite hikari? Everyone here: kakskejdjdjdn" and i was just like,,, ??????? I wasn't expecting u guys to have that kind of reaction i--- yall have no idea how much i was grinning while I scroll through those messages. Thank you so much for inviting and accepting me, it's really fun to be with you guys and your crackhead energy 🥰🥰 Thank you to mui for suggesting you had no idea I was really really happy. 😭 Y'all are so amazing and sweet and cute and beautiful kakjdjdd

To all of my dear friends that I've mentioned above, I LOVE YOU LOTS YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GRATEFUL I AM TO MET YOU GUYS. Quarantine time has been stressful for a lot of people, and Tumblr can sometimes (a lot of times) be kinda whack but I was really happy to met you guys during my time here. Our time together may have been short, but i feel like we've known each other for more than a year, no caps. I love you all very very much. Thank you for talking to me and befriending me. Remember to get enough sleep, drink lots of water, stay safe and healthy, eat enough meals and, take care of yourself. I love you guys.

And lastly, to everyone reading this, whether i know you or not, or interacted with you or not, or follow you or not, or you follow me or not, just REMEMBER that you are worth it and I love you. Keep on being awesome, and always remember to smile, laugh and live. Don't forget to always DRINK LOTS OF WATER, GET ENOUGH SLEEP, and EAT ENOUGH MEALS.

Signing off,

Hikari.

#amazing talented people #sweet nice people 💕#a message #my dear friends

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rainingspellforlove · 3 years

Text

falling again.

Tell me once again, tell me you love me like, you did that day.

I couldn't believe it, everything about you was like looking in the mirror, we were so much alike.

But your lips that had spoken of love, don't say a word like they're locked shut, I can't understand with my heart, why you said you loved me.

But now you're trying to run away

Baekhyun - Love Again

The continuation of shouldnt have.

It's been three months since then. Hyukjae been living well in Tokyo. He did his best to overcome his broken state. He did many things there and it really helped him a lot. He did yoga class, worked out his body, studied new languanges, even composing some new songs. for these three months, he already recovered well and he can back to his normal bubbly self again.

Hyukjae decides to come back to korea after feeling well. In a sunny sunday morning, hyukjae finnaly arrived at south korea. He walked alone with lot of luggagges with his mask on. Then he saw one familiar face to pick him up,

"Lee hyukjaeee"

"Hyunggggg"

Leeteuk comes to pick him up because he promises to grab a meal together later in a seafood restaurant..

"How are you hyukjae? Feeling better?"

"Eung of coursee hyung. I cant wait for our comeback finally"

"Of course we will have best of the best for this comeback. Lets work hard okay"

"Sure"

Then they enjoy talking to each other about how hyukjae's life in tokyo and how about the members doing while he was gone. They were doing pretty well with their individual schedule as well.

"Uhm so how was him? Is he doing pretty good these days?"

"You dont contact him at all?"

"Nope hahahaha"

"You really want to get rid of him huh?"

"Not to that extend lol he did messaged me sometimes, for the first week i went to japan, he texted me a lot like "what should i do" "im sorry" "i'll do everything for you to forgive me" "please" he did it so many times until 5 days maybe? Then i replied at the 6th day , i said "im okay. Youre not at fault. Just live your life as usual okay? Im fine here dont worry. "

"I thought you blocked him lol"

"No way i cant block him we're still gonna work together right"

"Wah our pro-idol lee hyukjae. Amazing im proud of you. "

"Nothing's to be proud of. So how's he been?"

"Nothing special because we didnt meet him often bcs of our individual schedule"

"Oh then?"

"But i already met him few times actually asking him for a meal together, he wasnt like himself either i think. His soul is like leaving his body lol"

" He's not that lonely right if i left him like that? He already had a lover anyway"

"I dont know either. maybe you both need to talk it out, dont you feel it to try to talk to him?"

"Yeah ive been thinking about this too hyung. Maybe i will talk it out with him later"

"Good then"

After getting a meal with leeteuk, hyukjae comes back to the dorm with the help of leeteuk to bring his lugagges. And when he opened the door,

"Suprisseeee welcome back uri myeolchii"

Turned out the members already prepared the welcome back surprises with many foods and confettis.

"Oh my goddd guyss hahahahhaa"

"Welcome back uri hyukjaee, lets eat together!!!" Shindong said

"Yesss lets celebrate!" leeteuk finally said

Then they eat happily and tell so many funny stories like they always did.

"How is it at tokyo?" kyuhyun asked

"It's fun of course i did many stuffs there to clear my mind"

"Im glad you're feeling well right now.. we're so worried about you really. You should think less and dont overthink too much okay? You have us to lean on man!" yesung said

"yeah, we can help you anytime bro just tell us about anything" ryeowook said

"Of course i will haha im totally fine right now really!!"

Actually there's donghae too there who's been just smiled blandly at the situation. Fortunately bcs of this crowded condition, no one realized that donghae havent talked a single word to hyukjae yet. Then some times after they had fun and ate well, the members starts to go home one by one. There's leeteuk and donghae left , ofcourse with kyuhyun and hyukjae too.

so hyukjae cleaned the dishes first and the rest of them cleaned the main room. When hyukjae washes the dishes, donghae actually comes to him and helps him cleaning the dishes

There's like silent in them for like few seconds.

"So, how have you been?" Hyukjae starts off the convo

"Nothing much it's just the same. You?"

"Yeah i did many stuffs there"

"Oh... im glad then"

Then silence again..

"Uhm, i- apologize for-"

"Nah it's not a thing for you to apologize anyway. Im totally fine"

"but im not..."

Silence again....

"Why? It's not that youre lonely without me right?" Hyukjae jokes

"hm maybe?" They laugh softly

Then hyukjae tried to ask something.

"How's thing with her?"

Donghae feels a bit flustered..

"yeah we're fine" said donghae plainly

"Good then" hyukjae smiled

"I miss you" finally donghae said it

"I miss you too.. lets work hard more for our comeback soon. Lets just get back like we used to be okay?" but hyukjae not acting like he’s flustered. he acts cool

"Uhm sure.. "

Then hyukjae was about to go to the main room then donghae said

"im sorry.. lemme just say.. ehm- dont cry again hyukjae."

"sure i wont" hyukjae left and smiled after that..

flashback

The day after hyukjae went to japan, donghae was like a soulless man. He ignored all of the calls and messages in his phone. He just wants to talk to hyukjae. He wants to meet him rightaway but he cant. He cant disobey leeteuk because he always obedient to all leeteuk's words. He resisted himself and stayed at his house for almost a week. He ignored all of the messages and phone calls. He just wanted to see hyukjae's reply. But he didnt reply at all. He didnt answer his calls either.. donghae was really like a zombie.. then hyukjae suddenly replied to his messages in the 6th day. Donghae was startled like hell. Then he replied.

"it hurts to see you cry dont cry again.... im so sorry. I dont know what should i do... dont hate me...please.... im so sorry"

But then of course hyukjae didnt reply him again.

Actually donghae became so confused after hyukjae left. He thinks about him a lot. He thinks how hyukjae acts around him this whole time. He just realized this whole time, hyukjae must be suffered to hide this feeling alone. When he's the one being so touchy and stuffs....

He didnt know either why he feels so hurting while he's the one who hurts his friend. He hates being left especially when his important person who did it to him. He feels so confused after hyukjae left. He didnt know what happened to his mind recently. He cant think of anything. His mind was full of hyukjae. especially the kiss he gave that night.

It feels like he poured all of his feelings to it.. but it was the most heartbreaking kiss that he ever felt. the tears that fallen in his cheeks. and his warm lips that melts into his.

he hates to acknowledge this but he wants to feel it again... but not after feeling like this. he missed hyukjae so much... it feels so wrong but he missed him so much......

but life must go on, donghae tried to forget this confusing feelings and try to meet his girlfriend.

He actually met her few times. But donghae always didnt look fine at all. He always been on his mind and cant focus on her at all. And it's always been like this..

Donghae didnt seem to reply at her mesaages as often as before. And he rarely pick up her calls. Donghae was like a whole different person.. sometimes he would be ignorant or careless... even he was not actually like this..

he had a fight with his girlfriend recently.. because donghae keeps losing his focus when they met. And he keeps ignoring her messages and calls. He said that he was busy with works and stuffs. Still his girlfriend had it enough and asked him for break up. Donghae asked her not to end it so quickly. he said they can figure it out together. But his girlfriend insisted that they must break up. She was so tired of him. So they break up in their 5 months..

Donghae was shattered... he was miserable..

he thought "maybe life was fair enough"

end of flashback

Donghae intentionally didnt tell hyukjae that he's already breaking up with his girlfriend. He thinks maybe it's for the best to stay like that. It's already been 1 month since he had broken up. And it's the time for hyukjae to come home to korea too. Actually donghae already recovers from his broken state too after 1 month. But now he saw hyukjae is a whole different. He's like happier, shining, and lovelier. It's like he's really getting himself better. He's getting way cuter... donghae seems a lil bit flustered to see hyukjae arrived... he was stunned for a lil bit.

“is it just me or he gets cuter after coming back......” he thoughts.

Fortunately after their little talks, they can be like they used to be again..

The comeback is near.. so they keep practicing and practicing. They have been busy all the time after hyukjae arrived. They have been busy with many things to prepare the comeback.

Hyukjae is working hard too. He's even more refreshed for now. Donghae and hyukjae come back as they are used to be. Playful to each other. They are just being professional to not mix their private life and works. So they act like the things that happened 3 months ago are also dissapearead.. they just act like nothing happened.

They finally released their comeback songs successfully. It was a hit and success. They did many shows, interviews, and some variety shows to promote their comeback. They are so busy because of these schedules. But they are happy because finally they did a comeback again after a long time.

So after the day they brought a first win from mcountdown, they celebrate it in a restaurant and have a big feast there. Then they had drunk too after having those meals. It’s time for going home and there were no schedule tomorrow so leeteuk said just rest well for tomorrow. The members are going home one by one.

"Hyung, tomorrow i will have schedule for new journey to the west, so i cant come home with you. Is it okay for you to come home alone?"

"Nah it's okay. Bye bye kyuhyuna"

But actually hyukjae is in drunk state so he will go with his manager to come home.

then donghae comes

"I can take him home, i bring a car here so you dont need to worry managernim"

"Oh? You bring a car? Okay then i'll just come with you."

Then hyukjae and donghae go home together with donghae's car. It's the first time for them having a drive like this for just both of them.

"Hyukjae-ya, are you sober enough?"

"Hmmm 60% sober i tthink why?"

"Actually i want to tell you something"

"What is it?"

"I... i broke up with her"

"Her? Your lover? Why?" suddnely he’s 90% sober up

"Some things happened and we fights then she asked for breaking up. uhm yea thats it"

"Oh.. since when?"

"It's been like almost 2 months before our comeback"

"Ah... so you already broke up that time i ask you?"

"Hm yes.... sorry for not telling you the truth, im just scared that it will make you uncomfortable yknow"

"It's okay i understand... uhm.... so, you okay?"

"Yeah i had been not okay that time but right now i feel better a lot"

"Good for you then, hope you can find another person who's better for you then. life must go on right"

Then silence... donghae doesnt give him any replies.

They stopped at the red lights apparently..

"Do you already have a person you like this moment?" Suddenly donghae asked

"no there isnt. I didnt think of it at all because we've been so busy"

"Youre right"

Then the green light appears..

Donghae drives again... 15 minutes in silence and finally arriving at hyukjae's dorm..

"Okay.. would you want me to take you to your room or-?"

It turned out hyukjae already sleeps. He didnt dare to wake him so he puts hyukjae in his back and piggy backs him to his room.... and he still sleeps soundly at donghae’s back..

Donghae puts hyukjae to his bed and tucks him in the bed softly.. then unconsciously, donghae leans in to hyukjae's face..

Donghae pressed a soft kiss to his forehead...

"What if you're the better person for me hyukjae? What you’re gonna do if i fall for you?" He said while carressing his hair softly..

After that, donghae turned off the lamp and went home rightaway....

actually hyukjae didnt fall a sleep at all...

he listened to all of them.

"The hell is that just happened...... oh my freaking God what the hell just happened....." he wakes up rightaway.

Hyukjae still can feel donghae's kiss in his face. he cant sleep at all that day. Even after hyukjae's arrival, they had been in a good terms. It is like nothing happened back then. They acted like they used to. Everything seems so natural. There were no feelings for each other.. hyukjae completely erased his feelings for donghae but why did he act like that last night....

"God he's confusing me again.... "

After that confusing situation for hyukjae, he will never know that was the start of all donghae's affections to him.

and it's likely more affectionate than he ever imagined.

They did many shows and got many interviews. In those shows, donghae always finds chance to get close to hyukjae even doing some skinships to him. But it's like he did it unconciously and natural. It's like the usual donghae but it's more clingy than usual.

He's always backhugging him when they played something, or when in a music show ending, and many more. But hyukjae just lets him bcs he didnt want to be so obvious of avoiding donghae in the tv or shows.

Hyukjae hates to admit this but he liked it. It's like he misses these moments so much but in fact he's already moving on.... or...... are those feelings coming back again...

His warm and soft touches against his body are endearing. He just loves those affections. He missed how to be loved by someone...

But he didnt want to admit it.... never. it’s too contradictive. his mind says he’s already moved on but his heart told him otherwise.

He still cant get over what donghae said few days ago....

Day by day passed by, and the promotions are coming to an end... they did their last music shows on inkigayo. hyukjae went to the rooftop to rest for a lil bit because the members are just too noisy right now.. he didnt feel like to talk too much today.

"what are you doing here alone hyukjae-ya?"

"Oh donghae, uhm nothing just sight seeing" he’s startled by his voice

Donghae comes to hyukjae

"Do you have something burdening you?

"No actually i just feel grateful finally we can success this comeback.."

"im proud too for myself and the members too. we’re doing great"

“right”

they smiled together and felt the wind that breezed for them. and hyukjae got some dust into his eyes

"Aaah my eyes" he tried to rub his eyes but donghae held his hands

"Hyukjae-ya are you okay? Which eyes?"

"Leftt aaaah its stuck"

“dont rub it, i’ll blow it for you”

Then donghae just blows a little to hyukjae's left eyes while cupping hyukjae's cheek. hyukjae’s heart is pounding like crazy while he did that

"I-Is it gone?"

"Maybe.." hyukjae tried to open his eyes and he's surprised, donghae was just 5 cm in front of him

Then donghae looks into hyukjae's eyes and carresses his cheeks softly... hyukjae cant back off and staring into donghae’s eyes also

"I think you're more beautiful in this comeback" while holding his cheek.

"How so? I just feel so usual"

"It's your eyes. Your eye make up is stunning"

"U-uhm thanks"

“this comeback fits you so well”

They still stood like that for a while until donghae leaned in to hyukjae.. and hyukjae automatically closes his eyes... donghae just pressed a soft kiss into hyukjae's left eye...

Then he pulls out and smiles..

"You must be tired today. Lets just go home.." donghae said and grabbed hyukjae's hand to enter the building...

Hyukjae is dazed and cant say a single word... he just follows him to the building in silence...

One day hyukjae drinks alone again in the usual bar. He just wants to drink because he wont have no schedule tomorrow.. and he talks alone in the bar.

"Im getting confused again. Why did he do that then?"

"If im just a rebound of his broken heart, i swear i would kill him rightaway.. gosh but he's already broken up from long time ago... eish but i doubt he likes me though he's fucking straight"

"he's weird. Or am i? Huh idk"

Hyukjae been blabbering for himself there for a few minutes..

Then such a coincidence happened, there just came donghae and jinu who were hanging out with the others because it's their friends who own this bar.. and donghae just watched hyukjae drunk alone and ran to him quickly. his face shows he’s worried as hell.

"lee hyukjae.. hey what are you doing here? I thought you slept because you didnt reply me at all. you cant come drinking alone like this. you know you cant support youself enough while drunk. why are you like this?"

"Oh hey cheonsanim is it my death yet? Why there's cheonsa here.. thats so weird" he blabbers and doesnt listen to donghae’s nagging at all

"Hey get yourself together hyukjae-ya"

"Oh im totally fine! what time is it? I should go practicing. let me go. comeon lets practice!!!"

"There's no practicing schedule for today and it’s almost midnight... lets just go to your dorm"

"No but cheonsanim, there's still liquor left i must finish-"

"Shut up and just lets go home. understand?" donghae’s face becomes all serious suddenly. and hyukjae shuts his mouth and let donghae do what he wants. he’s kinda scared too actually even he’s drunk.

Donghae just pulled hyukjae from the seat and put his arms into his shoulder and starts walking to the car.. donghae brings him home again... like that day

after the silence for a while, donghae finally softened and his serious face gone

"This reminds me of how you were so drunk back then and you keep sobbing because of me.."

"Back then i really didnt know. Yes im a fool didnt realize your feeling and im a fool too bcs i fell in love too easily with some women. Maybe im just too lonely. But i realized that i actually not lonely this whole time. I have you. Thats a shame of me who didnt realize it. Im just so sorry.."

He said while holding hyukjae's hand. Meanwhile hyukjae is sleeping since donghae starts driving.. he’s always like that after being drunk. he sleeps rightaway.

"You're becoming more refreshed and stunning. Im so flustered to see you like “ah it turned out im really friend with this beautiful human?" Thats exactly my thoughts for you when u came back"

"then i doubt it myself why would i have that kind of thoughts. I feel like i wanna have you for myself. Your cute face, funny jokes, and even your weird actions. It's like i wanna keep it all for myself. I even got jealous when you acted cute in front of the fans lmao i shouldnt do that but idk myself is just being weird."

"i love those smiles of yours. Your gummy smile. Thats just so pretty. It warms me up. I even think why didnt i realize i live with the prettiest angel for this 20 years."

donghae still driving while looking at the road.. and he keeps pouring his words...

"Youre really my important person hyukjae. I wont ever erase you from my list. Youre my person... your presence to me is a healing and strength. Without you im nothing. You complete me. You're really my everything. Please just erase those bad memories of us. Just let me fill it again with good memories of us... let me try again.. im hoping i can be your source of sunshine too.. like you give me those warmest smiles every time we met... thats the most amazing feeling ever..."

Then silence...

"I knew you're not sleeping right... im not asking you for anything but i just wanna tell you that... and we're almost arrived"

Hyukjae cant hide again from his so called sleeping,, then he’s awkwardly wakes up and straighten his back...

"uhm.. uhmm.. thats quiet long speech of yours.... uhmm okay..."

Honestly hyukjae is speechless as hell, he never knew donghae will talk it out and he's basically confessing??? But thats so ambiguous...

"Can i hug you?" Donghae asked before hyukjae opened the car's door

"uhm s-sure"

Then donghae hugs him... donghae's hugs always feels so warm... his big body is covering hyukjae's small body... it’s always been these hugs that he loved the most.

donghae who circling his arm into hyukjae’s neck and hyukjae who hugs donghae’s waist tightly.. its always been like this. their typical hugs from time to time.

"dont go out alone to drink.. bring me, so i will take you home"

hyukjae just nods in his warm embrace..

Donghae takes off his arms from hyukjae and presses a soft kiss to hyukjae's forehead...

"Good night.. rest well for today"

hyukjae is gotta explode.

He's confused too and doesnt know what to do either. But his mind is a total mess right now so he acts like he's totally not in his right mind too.

his act and his mind are always fighting. it’s not completely going in a one way. it’s totally contradictive!!

hyukjae in his not right mind suddenly leaned in and kissed donghae's cheek quickly.

He's so red and dying inside, then he just

"g-g-good night too bye bye" he's so flustered and running quick to his room

Donghae who feels hundred times flustered than hyukjae, cant even move a flinch after hyukjae's cute lil kiss. He's smiling like an idiot and messed up his hair.

"im really going crazy"

Meanwhile in the other side, hyukjae runs to his room and throws himself to his bed and screams.

"arghhhhhh why did i do that you fool lee hyukjae you fooool"

One day after that lil kiss event, donghae asked hyukjae (as if nothing happened) to a drive. he’s that amazing to act like nothing happened between them.

"hyukjae, are you free this sunday?"

"Uhm maybe, why?" hyukjae pretends nothing happened too. BUT he’s just pretending. so he just replied casually

"i want to have a drive, wanna come? its no fun if i drive alone"

"u-uhm sure. But where to?"

"Hmmm it's up to you"

"Me ? Ah no, it's you who should decide donghae-ya"

"Finee, then beach? Lets watch sunset. How?"

"Call! Good idea!"

"Okay see you on sunday i'll pick you up"

"Of course"

Hyukjae didnt know why he agreed to his plans lmao he’s too excited to watch sunset.

"eish what should i do.. that god damn smile wtf i cant even ignore him"

"Nah its okay we're usually like this. Its a usual thing for us to have a drive tgt. We even watch sunrise together every year.. it shouldnt be a bad thing right........ right..... but for now i should try calming my heart more" he’s trying to convince his heart more

Sunday comes and they really go to the beach....

They have so much fun in the car, they sing and laugh happily in the car.. hyukjae who jokes a lot while donghae who gives his best reactions to it. It's just their another ordinary days.. but its been so long so they're beyond excited for themselves.

It's winter and they wear warm clothes right now.

"Hyukjae, dont you feel cold of just wearing that coat?"

"Ah this. Hmm maybe i can bare it haha"

"You can wear my padding, i'll wear yours"

"Eish no need. Im fine really"

"Uhm okay then"

They have arrived at the beach and they go to the side of the beach while playing with the water. They had so much fun playing and running for each other.. they're just like kindergartens..

"It's unbelievably cold goshhh maybe you’re true though, my small body cant bare it haha" hyukjae been shivering for a while and he almost stutters because of the cold wind.

"I told you so.." then donghae stands behind hyukjae and opens his padding to back hug the shivering kid. his padding completely covered him and hyukjae together. Hyukjae is small human being so it fits for them together.

"Ya- what are you doing let me go" hyukjae tried to let go but of course he’s lost.

"Its cold its better like this right" he tightens his hugs more.

Hyukjae cant say a single word he's just dazed while feeling the cold air from the sea.

They stayed like that for a while until sunset..

"Beautiful..." finally hyukjae mouthed a word

"Uhm.." donghae hugs him tighter from the back

"We're almost the same height but why i feel you're so tiny" donghae said

"im 3 cm taller you know!! but i admits im a real myeolchi because im not that workout holic like you. and im not the type who builds my body like you. the bulkier type. nah i didnt like it"

"Alright alright i agree for that"

they enjoy this so much. and maybe hyukjae loves it too much. it feels like the cold air is completely gone because of donghae’s back hugs. it warms him up...

after some moments of the sweet warm sunset, they think of going back. they can freeze if they stay too long.

"Should we go back?"

"Okay..."

Its time for going back and its time for donghae to let go of his hug.... why hyukjae feels dissappointed all of sudden...

Donghae lets go of the hugs and he pulls hyukjae to face him...

"Hyukjae"

"O-oh why?"

Donghae takes out his hands and carress it softly... then brings it into his lips... donghae just kissed every hyukjae's knuckles one by one..

Donghae turned to face hyukjae and leans in slowly..

Hyukjae stops him by pointing his forehead..

"can i-?”

he didnt finished his words but suddenly hyukjae said

"kiss me"

Donghae got startled but he smiled softly and leaned in to kiss hyukjae

Donghae moves his hands to cupped hyukjae's cheeks while hyukjae's hands slowly circling donghae's neck.. they kissed slowly and softly.. donghae takes a lead and hyukjae tightens his hands... they never expect this day would come.. they pulled out for few seconds, then hyukjae cant get enough and kiss him again.. they kissed so long but slowly...

then they got losing a breath and plus they cant bare the cold air then hyukjae pulled himself from donghae... his ear got so red and he cant even say a word.

"i-its cold lets go home." hyukjae said and ran leaving donghae who smiled softly..

They go home with hyukjae who covered himself with his scarf.

Donghae who laughs softly said

"Hey dont cover yourself like that, i cant see your face" he teased

"I dont want to see your face idiot"

Donghae chuckles and takes hyukjae's hand... he pressed a soft kiss to his hand...

"stopppp argghh focus on driving bastard" he pulls out his hand quick

Donghae drives home with a widest smile ever

Arriving at hyukjae's dorm, he packs his things and ready to get out but..

While on the way driving here, the snow falls so hard even donghae drives his car slowly to go here..

"You know, the s-snow is falling so h-hard right"

Then donghae turned his head to hyukjae waiting him to say something

"So...” hyukjae hesitates..

"Eh hem so?" Donghae waits while smiling to him

"Eish stop smiling like a weirdo you bastard"

"Hmmmm So?" donghae teased

"Y-you can come to dorm until tomorrow morning i-if you want-"

"Of course i will. Lets go" donghae quickly answers and goes inside

Donghae has expected this , no way he would let his best friend fighting the snow falls for himself.

They enter the dorm together.. and it's already almost midnight..

"Kyuhyun is home already maybe he's already sleeping... you can sleep on the sofa or other rooms here okay bye im going to bed" hyukjae was about to go to his room but donghae stops him

"What now?"

Then he gestured his head in hyukjae's room (it's like “i wanna sleep with you” gesture)

"N-no way!"

"Aaah we used to sleep together why cant we"

"Its different! We're grown ups right now!"

"Hnggggggg pplleasseeeee or i will nag at you until morning"

Donghae keeps nagging and nagging so hyukjae just lets him to go to his room

"Fine"

Hyukjae already changed his clothes and brings his clothes for donghae to change also.. then hyukjae goes straight to sleep and doesnt want to wait for donghae who changed his clothes

Donghae who comes back after changing his clothes, climbs up the bed beside hyukjae... hyukjae sleeps facing the other side and donghae feels dissappointed..

"Face me while sleeping or i cant sleep"

"Its not my business"

"We just kissed why do you treat me like this?" He pouts

"Eishhh sssssshhhh. fine fine. i'll face you lets just sleep"

"Hyukjae ya"

"Hmmm" he already closed his eyes

"I wanna hug you"

"why are you so demanding"

“pleaseeeeee”

“arghhh fine”

Then donghae hugs him and places hyukjae's head in his chest

"It's cold i must keep you warm" hyukjae stays in his embraces like that without complaining.. he's too sleepy to complain..

"Hyukjae ya"

No answer...

Then donghae leans in closer

Hyukjae feels donghae's breath becomes so close and slowly opens his eyes..

Hyukjae stops him again by placing his fingers to his lips..

"lee donghae......." hyukjae loses all his drowsiness.... and his eyes looking at donghae's

"I like you..." donghae said with his softest eyes ever

This. those puppy eyes of his. His soft voice.. his gentle touches. His body's heat that runs into hyukjae's body.... it drives him crazy

hyukjae never been so speechless.. he's weak.. he doesnt know how to act...

Hyukjae feels his heart about to explode..

"Y-you know.. b-but i dont know... i cant understand my feelings at all.... i-"

"I know.... i know.. i'll wait for you"

"but why?"

"Because it has to be you. I love being with you. I just love it so much. youve heard me before. in the car, i told you everything. it’s just you."

Hyukjae cant say anything and keeps his head down in donghae’s chest... he cant face donghae.... he might explode... he bets his ears are all red... and he feels so damn hot even it's winter...

"Can i kiss you?"

Silence.....

Then hyukjae nods softly..

Donghae slowly moves his hand towards hyukjae's cheek and the other hand pulling his waist closer...they kissed again.. but its more passionate and have more feelings... they didnt feel cold anymore, they are heated by the kiss...

donghae who's now on top of hyukjae and keep kissing him like there's no tomorrow... it's like hyukjae is his property only..

They kissed until they both are out of breath and pulled out from each other.... donghae hugs him again from the side while carressing hyukjae's hair and kissed it for few times.....

"잘자요 hyukjae ya"

"good night.." hyukjae who feels embarrassed to death and he just hides himeself in donghae's chest...

They both stay like that until morning comes.... they embrace each other warmly and they sleep like babies.

Morning comes and hyukjae slowly opens his eyes...

"emhhh.... oh my.." he still doesnt believe it either what he saw...

The first thing he saw is donghae's face beside of him.. he suddenly remembers the kiss..

"He already looks so good even he's sleeping, like how.."

"eishh whats wrong with me"

hyukjae tries to come down from the bed slowly because donghae's hand still in his waist.. so he slowly removes it.... afraid to wake him up... when he's about to success for coming down, then a pair of hands slip into his waist tightly and a voice appears next to his ear closely..

"where do you go?" said donghae who just woke up with his hoarse voice. He put his head above hyukjae's shoulder and keep whining

hyukjae almost jumped after hearing it *dammit that hot voice*

He always knew this kind of voice every morning they woke up after sleeping together.. because they did it often back in those old days.. but now, it is not the same, it's like hyukjae always got heart attack when donghae comes close like this

"maybe take a shower and buy a breakfast..."

"sleep more :(" said donghae lazily in hyukjae's shoulder

"it's almost 9 am... i must go to gym later.."

Then he pouts cutely..

"Let me take you there then..."

"Fine.."

"Lets take a shower together"

"NO eish i can shower alone lemme go" donghae still hugs him tightly from the back

"Lee donghaeee comeonnnnn"

"letsss take a shower together like the old dayss"

"No fuckin waay lemme gooooo" hyukjae tries so hard to let it go and finally succeeding

Donghae just whines and tries to wake up also.

They both already been showering and they will have breakfast together..

After finishing breakfast and stuffs. Donghae drives him to hyukjae's gym.

"Okay then thankyou for dropping me off" said hyukjae awkwardly

"Of course. Dont overwork yourself, rest well after this. Bye bye"

"Sure bye"

"Oh wait." Donghae said

"What is it? Is there something i left in your car?"

"You left this"

Donghae shamelessly pressed a quick kiss in hyukjae's right cheek.

"YA LEE DONGHAE"

"bye bye!" Then he winks and leaves

"Eish im really really going insane"

Day by day passed and donghae keeps being clingy to hyukjae. But extended version, he always kissed him goodbye while parting ways. It can be forehead kiss or cheek kiss. Hyukjae is lied if he doesnt like it. He liked it so much but he didnt show it and always runs away from donghae after that...

"Ah where is the boy who used to cry here bcs of his bestfriend? Is he really opening up his heart again?" Teased leeteuk

"Hyung please"

"Hahahaha you arent bothered at all right by him? I knew you love it"

"No way"

"You cant lie to me hyukjae. You fall for hin again right?"

"But i hate for admitting "that feeling""

"It's been so long hyukjae, it's okay for falling in love again"

"I dont know hyung... but why it has to be him? i just dont know"

few days after, hyukjae who just woke up suddenly gets a call from leeteuk..

"Lee hyukjae it's urgent, donghae is sick and i cant go there bcs i have works. Can you come instead of me? He's been in high fever. im scared he will faint or something"

"Okay hyung i'll go there asap"

Hyukjae is worried as hell and he brings all the medicines from the dorm for donghae.

As he arrived there, he found donghae sleeps on the floor.. and he's freaking out

"Yahh lee donghae, are you okay? Hey, lemme take you to hospital come one wake up"

Hyukjae got so worried and try to lift donghae's body.

"Ehmmmh oh what time is it? Why am i on the floor? And why are you here hyukjae?"

"Leeteuk said youre sick af so i came.. lemme take you to hospital right now. can you stand by yourself?"

"Ah.... im not sick.. i just got hangover and maybe i fall asleep on the floor last night..... im totally fine but a little dizzy"

"what the-”

then he realized

“Aish leeteuk hyung i'll get revenge on you someday arghhh" then hyukjae stands up and ready to walk out

"Im going home then. Bye im wasting my precious times"

"Aaaah dont go im really dizzy... can you help me please eung?"

"Its ur fault anyway"

"But i always help you after you drunk so many times..."

"Okay t-thats... ugh- fine"

Hyukjae walks to donghae and lifts him up. He helps donghae to get on the bed..

"Okay it's done im going. Eish wasting my time worrying for nothing"

"Are you worried that much?"

"Bye im going home..."

Donghae pulls hyukjae's hand..

"Can you just stay with me?"

"Why should i?"

"I need your company.."

Donghae pulls a lil harder until hyukjae's body falls on his chest..

Donghae hugs him rightaway so hyukjae cant go...

"Hyukjae-ya.. there’s no a single time i would not think of you.. you know what, when you went to japan, i messed up all of things.. i cant get focused on anything... i just wanted to meet you.."

Hyukjae who still in donghae's chest said carefully

"How can i trust you? I cried so hard that day.. im tired of hurting"

"You know it hurts to see you cry. That day my heart breaks into pieces... i think how much i hate myself... i was so dumb. i knew.. but now i realize how can i live without you.. i cant stay away from you... i wanna hug you so tight and give you every little kisses every day.. i dont know when this started, but i want to make you mine every time i see you.. i wanna protect you and embrace you.. i cant take my eyes off of you"

"Hyukjae-ya look at me" donghae lifts hyukjae's head who leans in his broad chest then he saw hyukjae is crying...

"dont cry sweetheart please dont cry.." donghae carressed his tears away softly..

"I-i think i completely forget you. i convinced myself that i already moved on. i believe i had erased you completely.But i just realized i cant... how can i? i really cant forget you at all... i just keep pretending that i was fine if i keep this feelings alone.. i thought i already threw away my feelings. But you suddenly came to me again with those affections.. how... how can i just forget you easily.. i just cant.... life is so unfair i cant understand"

Donghae suddenly sits and lifts hyukjae easily to sit in his lap.. hyukjae who's still sobbing got flustered by his sudden actions.

"Ssssh dont cry... you know that im the crybaby, it's not you. You shouldnt be crying.. youre not supposed to cry... "

Hyukjae still sobs.. and palmed his face..

Donghae leans in and takes hyukjae's hands from his face slowly

He cupped hyukjae's face and leans in.. donghae's forehead touched hyukjae's completely..

"I love you so much.. can you love me back?"

Hyukjae still sobs but he nods softly..

Donghae smiled softly... this sweetest smile that always stuck in hyukjae’s head

"Say that you love me back"

Donghae wiped off the tears that keep falling in hyukjae's cheeks..

"i-i like you so much i could die.." he sobs cutely

"good.. and i love you too"

Donghae leans in and kisses hyukjae's watery eyes delicately.. he pressed those little kisses slowly from hyukjae's forehead, eyes, cheeks, nose, and finally his lips...

The way hyukjae's lips melt in donghae's.. he kissed hyukjae passionately... the finally-you-love-me kiss that he always hopes.. not that heartbreaking kiss again, this kiss feels more delicate and warm. donghae moves his body and presses hyukjae down to the bed..

"Do you mind if..."

"just do whatever you want”

“good”

hyukjae never thought that this day would happen for real.. his shirts and pants are on the floor... his outfits that he wears prettily today is all on the floor mixed with donghae's.. they both are covered with blanket with donghae's hand for hyukjae's pillow.. hyukjae cant say a single word after all of the things that happened so quick in few hours..

"Say something babe"

"You idiot bastard how can i say something after you marked me like this... we just- arghhh i shouldnt say yes for whatever you will do... ive been tricked."

Donghae turned to sulky hyukjae and kiss hyukjae's shoulder..

"you know i cant resist you.. "

then donghae pulls hyukjae and hugs him close to his broad chest and hyukjae slowly hugs him back..

"stay with me until tomorrow?"

"Of course" hyukjae nods and hugs him tighter

"Dont you feel cold?"

"Nope. You hug me is enough.."

Donghae smiled softly and hugs him tighter...

“best day of my life.” donghae kissed hyukjae’s head softly

While hyukjae finally asleeps, donghae quickly messages leeteuk

"Hyung i will appear on your youtube more often!! i promise. Thank you for everything hahaha!"

"Eish this little punk. Happy now? Stop calling me just for crying that you miss him so bad. Ughhh im so tired listening your broken ass. Dont send me even a single pic of both of you or i'll kill you."

"HAHA i was about to lmaooo bye bye hyung♡"

-end

#eunhaefics #eunhaefic #eunhae #eunhyuk #donghae #lee hyukjae #lee donghae #superjunior fanfic #bxb #juheartsfic

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glitteredcum · 3 years

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Coming back...

I’ve been wanting to monologue since I don’t really write in a journal anymore.. and tbh it’s so much more fun typing out my feelings these days, even if no-one reads it too...

So much has been going on in my life lately and I honestly don’t know how to feel about it...

Funny thinking about it now, I never really fully notice how I will process my own emotions until I start doing this... or journaling...

It’s been too long, and there has been so much on my mind lately...

Let’s start with the basics:

1) I had an interview today and I think I was hired (?) lol... so that’s cool, however I won’t be starting until two weeks from now... but that’s still a good thing bc it gives me a chance to live it up before starting work again.. lol I’m excited but idk how long I’ll keep this job... tbh my mental health is so bad (even at my best) it’s kinda really hard for me to keep a “normal” job (also a part of the reason why I have an OF because it’s so much easier motivating myself for something I have to schedule myself for...)

2) I broke up with (one of) my boyfriends, (Zack, now ex) today... bc he kept pushing me away and I couldn’t take it anymore.... Worrying about him was really starting to wear down on me, and I’m not going to let myself put up with someone who’s making me feel like shit bc they do... (I’m sorry, but I care about myself more than that...) I need someone who’s going to treat me the way my other boyfriend (CJ) does... he ALWAYS hits me up and checks up on me and even updates me on his own mental health! (He even tells me when he’s down and I think it’s the cutest fucking thing ever how comfortable he feels with me... I love you CJ!♥)

3) I now live in my (”own*) apartment with my brother!? ... it’s cool living with him but obvi his name is on the lease so I don’t pay FULL rent, however I STILL PAY RENT! (I don’t need newfags telling me I don’t pay rent) But, there still is a lot of things unfinished in the house and the landlord seems to not even fucking care??? Like it’s fucked up how much we pay for rent and there’s fucking MOLD in the house! Like???? YIKES... Anyways,

4) I am now with my wife Lele for 3 YEARS! ♥ and Katii 2 YEARS! ♥ (These are the longest LDR I’ve ever had! And I’m so proud of us and how far we’ve come!♥ I LOVE my babies!♥) I have also added Brandon this summer ♥ CJ a few months back in April or May ♥ and Xavier last year in November ♥ to the partner list! (I also have another LD bf in New Jersey but he doesn’t want his name out there yet, so I will leave him Anon for now ♥) And that’s 6 partners in total! ♥

5) My NJ boo has kind of been giving me major heart ache, and y’all ima be full on honest af with out trying to expose him soooo LOL.... for now let’s just say that he has a very time consuming career-path and I used to have a crush on his friend... LOL long story short when we first met IRL, I was going through a very crazy manic episode during the time and I was trying to find a way to live out there (clearly did not work since im back at my home-town lol) but, I ended up telling his BESTFRIEND that I had a crush on him after getting my heart SHATTERED by a fucking - .... rude person I was living with at the time /.\ (trying not to shit talk all my ex’s bc the past is the past but still that person fucking shattered me, but anyways) I was just heartbroken and letting all that out to the wrong person, and we’re cool now (me and my crush), and we had a convo about it and he said it’s “not a big deal” and shit, but idk... something feels off... maybe it’s just me over thinking but we always go through these periods where we will talk for literally two days straight and then he ghosts me for weeks after that...? Like it always has me feeling like he’s just fucking with me this entire time... but everytime he “slides back in my dms” that feeling goes away... I’m so confused honestly, and I don’t even want to think about him or his anymore so I just muted him on instagram and his friends bc I can’t stand being reminded of him (my crush).... I’ve NEVER felt this way about any guy before and idk how to deal with it other than just ignoring it and putting my mind else where.... UGH I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* I guess y’all can tell what’s really been on my mind here now huh... lol fuck man... ☻ life is crazy... and I feel dead inside 100% of the time tbh, but I’m just too high to notice... lol

Literally if it wasn’t for w**d IDK what I’d be doing w my life, I CBA... LOL

Nah but really though, when you start to value yourself more and how you are treated, you really start to put up with WAAAAAAAAAY less from people. I’ve learned how valuable my time and love is, and I’m not going to allow ANYONE to take that for granted... anyone who doesn’t make me feel absolutely loved for accepted, will be DISMISSED IMMEDIATELY! I don’t have time for people to waste... I need people around me who give me pure love and friendship, I’m not one for the fake shit babe, you can more around with that! ♥

Anyways, y’all ty for reading if you did! I hope this reaches someone who could use this or someone who really needs someone to relate to bc girl, same! ♥

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hiddenclawsof · 4 years

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aesthetic tag game

tagged by @yutopiada (one of my fav ptg writers out there still notices me to this day im emo--)

rules: bold the aesthetics you relate to and add twenty of your own aesthetic qualities for others to bold.

@yunwoo, @wookikun , @hojinhoe (hi no pressure in doing this but if you want to do this you are welcome to do so ((: )

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monbangisland · 4 years

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WANT by Lala

Chapter III

PAIRING: Min Yoongi X fem. reader

WARNINGS: None

Yoongi's P.O.V

I hate mornings, but for some reason I was awake before the alarm went off. I have a meeting with one of the professors, who asked me for help to be a tutor for the newbies who wanted piano lessons, so I had to show up on time.

I looked at myself in the mirror, pleased with my own image. I sprayed on some cologne and got out of the apartment with just a notebook in hand. I was walking to the Music College when I saw her walking with Park Jimin. They were laughing and smiling so wide. She looked so comfortable around him. He had his arm around her shoulders and was talking to her with a sweet voice, one that I hated so much. To be honest, I didn't like him. He's always so flirty and pretends to be so kind. Everybody has a good image of Park Jimin. And just because he's sweet, nobody talks shit about him, even though he might be worse than me. This brat isn't going to steal what's mine, not this time.

I decided to walk behind them, trying to listen to their convo. He was telling her about the crazy night he had. She laughed at every single joke he made or stupid face he did, and it was starting to piss me off.

Suddenly he started to ask her about the welcome party, fueling my interest for her answer. So I just focused on trying to catch their pace, that way I could listen to what she had to tell him.

"So, how was it? Did you like it?" - he asked her and looked at her with a small grin plastered on his face.

"It wasn't that bad. I'm just not used to it yet" - she replied looking a bit uncomfortable.

"Did you speak with somebody else? Aside from Namjoon hyung?" - he asked with interest.

"Yup, a few girls and guys, but they just made small conversation and left to join their friends. And…" - she stopped, as if she was thinking what to say next.

"And? Oh come on, you met someone, didn't you?" - Jimin started to tickle her making her giggle like a little girl.

"Jimin stop that and yes I did but I don't think he's important" - she replied still giggling at Jimin's previous acts.

"Who is this 'non important' guy? Hm" - Jimin was smirking again. Agh, I wanted to erase that smirk so badly from his face.

"I-it was Mi…"- she was about to say my name when Kim Namjoon joined them.

" Good morning Jimin and Y/N, how are you today?" - the guy smiled at them with his dimple. Bro, why this Y/N has to be friends with so many irritable people. This is going to be harder than I thought.

"We're good hyung, I was asking her about how she felt last night" - Jimin replied to his older friend.

"Oh, about that, where were you yesterday Y/N? I looked for you like crazy and you were nowhere to be found" - Namjoon asked her.

"Oh I left early, I wasn't in the mood" - she said a little bit ashamed.

"You should have come to me, I'm sure your perspective would have been different” - he told her and gave her a warm smile.

“I thought of going to you but you seemed to be busy” - she replied without looking at him.

When he was about to reply to her I just started walking faster, I had enough of that silly conversation. Before I entered the college, I glanced at her. She was saying goodbye to Jimin. I smiled to myself and kept on walking. She was going to be alone now, so it was my chance.

I went directly to Mr. Son’s office, he was one of the best composers and the best professors I ever had during my years in this college. Since I was one of the best students in the whole school, he asked me to help him and I immediately agreed. I was so honored and excited to be chosen by him, even though he complained about my behaviour sometimes. He had told me that if I finish my last year with good grades and the students are satisfied with my job as their tutor, he would help me enter one of the most famous conservatories in Germany. So, if I wanted to keep up with my dream, I had to work hard for that.

“Good morning Mr. Son” - I greeted him politely.

“Oh, Mr. Min! It’s good to see you. Right on time. I thought you’d come late as always” - he said to me with his serious, raspy voice.

“No Mr. Son, I’m doing my best this semester” - I said to him in a professional tone.

“Well, this is a good start. I hope you can keep it up the whole semester” - he just looked at me through his glasses.

“I will, Mr. Son” - it’s all I could say to him.

“Let’s get started then. Here, I have the list of the new students who asked for piano lessons. I made this list with the hours they have available so you can choose the student or students that you can tutor according to your schedule” - he handed me a paper with ten names on it. A name immediately called my attention, it was her name. I saw her schedule and fortunately mine fitted perfectly with hers. Bingo! This is one in a million chance, no one around us, just me and her. I checked the others’ schedule and selected another student, a random guy.

“I checked my schedule and I chose the students. One is going to be Choi Sejun and the other one is going to be Y/L/N Y/N” - I spoke with a serious tone.

“Ok, that’s all. Please, be on time to their lessons and do your best. I’ll see you every Friday to check on their progress. The lessons start today, and you’ll be seeing them twice a week” - he said while he was writing down my name in two different papers.

“Yes Mr. Son, I’ll be there on time. Is there anything else I can help you with?” - I started to stand up from my seat.

“Oh no Mr. Min, that’s all. You can leave now, I will notify both of the students your name and the place where the piano lessons will be held.” - he started to get up from his seat and fixed his glasses.

“Thank you so much Mr. Son, I’ll see you the next Friday” - I bowed and left his office.

Perfect, I had to wait until three o’clock to see her, during this time I started to think how to get closer to her. This won’t be easy but it’ll be worth it.

My morning went by smoothly. Just the typical stuff for first days. Professors introducing their lectures, telling the students how the classes are going to be evaluated and so on. Finally, it was lunch time, I was walking to the cafeteria when I heard heels coming in my direction.

“Oh hello there, Min Yoongi” - it was her, Im Yoora. I had a one night stand with her last year, at the school’s Christmas party. After that she became obsessed with me. I mean, who wouldn’t, I have amazing abilities: I’m a great rapper, I’m having vocal lessons too, I’m great with the piano, and in bed, that’s just a plus. Every girl I sleep with always come back, why? because they want more. But unfortunately, I don’t sleep with the same girl twice. It’s my rule.

“What do you want?” - I asked her coldly.

“Ouch, why so cold? Aren’t you happy to see me?” - she came closer and placed her hand on my chest.

“No, I’m not” - I pulled her hand from my body. I was disgusted.

“Oh come on, Yoongi, we had fun that day. Have you forgotten about it?” - she placed her hand again on my chest and came closer to me.

“Yeah, maybe I did” - it was all I could say.

“Well maybe you need a reminder” - she closed the gap between us and kissed me harshly. I was shocked, what the hell was wrong with this bitch. I didn’t kiss her back, I didn’t want to, but in that moment someone caught my eyes. It was her, she was looking at us, a shocked expression on her face. I pushed Yoora and looked back at Y/N. She just started walking fast and pretended she hadn’t seen anything.

“What the hell is wrong with you? I told you I don’t sleep with the same person twice. Are you dumb? Or are you deaf?” - I was pissed, this scene was going to cost me. If Y/N saw the kiss, I’ll have to work harder to take her into my bed. Shit, I wasn’t expecting this.

“But Yoongi…” - Yoora said a little bit nervous

“No buts, I was clear to you. ONLY ONCE. Now, get out of my way, I need to have lunch IN PEACE” - I walked past her without looking back.

“You’re going to regret this Min-” - that’s the last thing I heard from her.

Me? Regretting? Pfff, this bitch was nuts. I never regret anything I do. I just scoffed at her last phrase.

During lunch time I could feel someone looking at me. I turned my head to the right and I caught her looking. It was a pleasant feeling, and honestly, that’s what I wanted. To get her attention. When I met her eyes she just turned her head back to her food. This girl is so fun to tease. I kept on glancing at her, and she kept on looking at me. Our game was getting interesting, but as always, Mr. “Perfection” entered the scene. He came to her with a huge dimple smile, how much I hated him. He sat next to her and started to ask her about her first day, getting closer to her once in a while. What the hell? This can’t be possible, he can’t like her. She’s going to be mine first. After that, she can go to Namjoon. I stayed in the cafeteria a few more minutes, eating the last piece of my sandwich slowly. Glancing at her once again, I took my stuff and walking by next to them, even if I could go in the other direction. I could feel her glare on my back. Just as I wanted it to be.

The rest of the afternoon went by slowly. I was bored as fuck and the anxiety was killing me. Finally it was 2:45 p.m. so I started to walk to the music hall. I took my time and walked slowly. Even though I walked as slow as I could, I was there five minutes before the scheduled time. I entered the hall and saw her sitting at the piano, looking at it delighted. Her hair was behind her ears, exposing her neck. Her scent, filling the whole room, was intoxicating. Focus Min, you have to control yourself. I coughed and she turned her head to looked at me with those big eyes. Fuck, I felt exposed.

“We meet again, Y/N” - I finally spoke.

“Hello, Min Yoongi” - was all she said.

“Are you ready to start the lesson?” - I looked at her in the eyes, but she couldn’t keep the eye contact. I smiled a little bit at this thought.

“Yes, I am” - again she wasn’t speaking too much. Maybe it was her normal self. Yesterday she had a few beers, maybe that’s why she was so talkative.

“Ok, let’s begin. First of all, do you play another instrument or are these your first lessons?” - I asked professionally.

“I play the Cello” - she replied and moved to the side so I could take a seat next to her.

“Cello? Interesting, so why do you want to learn piano?” - I looked at her, her face was a little bit red.

“Personal matters” - she said and cleared her throat. Wow, I wasn’t expecting that answer, I was trying to make conversation but she would cut it off. Ok then, I’ll just impress her with my skills.

“Ok, so let’s get started” - those were my last words before I turned into the ‘professional’ tutor.

While I was explaining some things to her, I made contact physically with her. I slightly touched her hand, every once in a while. She moved her hand away sometimes, but she never rejected the contact completely. I was a little bit impressed with her, she was a fast learner and was pretty smart too, I could see that. I complimented her a few times and I got the reaction that I was expecting. She blushed and looked away and just replied with a simple “thank you”. I taught her an easy sequence, this was for her to move her hands easily along the piano and for her to recognize the piano keys.

I stood up and went to stand right next to her, watching intently. She looked good in her black sweater and those gray jeans. She was wearing boots too, that defined her legs well. She didn’t have a super complex look, but she somehow looked amazing. She messed up a few times making me go back to reality.

“Hey, is everything ok? You were doing pretty well” - I said to her.

“Sorry, I just forgot the last part of the sequence” - she said and looked at me.

“Let me help you with that” - I came closer to her and leaned. I placed my hands over hers and looked at her “may I?” - she didn’t looked at me and just nodded. I took her hands and started to lead them over the piano. I brought my face closer to her ear, and started to speak softly.

“Just follow my lead” - I could feel her perfume, intoxicating but fascinating. She again just nodded but didn’t try to pull away.

“See, you’re doing it amazing” - I whispered in her ear. I could feel a shiver going up my spine, I was getting too excited maybe but I was pleased. I could feel her body tensing up, the blush in her cheeks was so intense now, it was working.

“You’re good, Y/N” - when I said that, she looked at my eyes. That look was filled with a lot of emotions: confusion, nervousness, happiness but the most important, desire. She pulled her hands away from mine, she was totally nervous.

“C-can we stop here today? I have some things to do” - she was looking to the other side of the room.

“Of course Y/N, as you wish” - my voice was a raspy whisper. I got what I wanted today.

“O-ok, see you next thursday and thanks for your patience” - she said as she grabbed her things

“It was my pleasure, Y/N” - I gave her a small smile. She looked at me again and just bowed before exiting the hall.

I smiled again to myself, this is going to be easy. There’s no way she’s going to say no to me, I’ll just keep on making small things like this until she begs for more. With that thought on mind, I left the hall with a proud smirk on my face. I was going to win this game, just as always.

A/N: thanks for the love and support you’re giving to this story. If you like the story please give me some feedback about it, I would be glad to see some of your comments. I’ll work harder and please support my friend GF too, will try to post as much as we can.

Thank you again for your love

Lala

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faunusrights · 4 years

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OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 21

IN THIS EPISODE OF MURPHY IS SO VERY SLEEPY BUT THE UPDATE SCHEDULE TAKES NO PRISONERS (FOR THE MOMENT):

“So it’s true,” she wheezed between grit fangs—“that bitch really does have you on a leash.”

KINKY,

me: okay lemme refresh on what happened last chapter-- me: /remembers me: oh yeah! yeah that SUCKED,

lets us continue on the journey of deep and immense sadness with glynda ‘clown shoes’ goodwitch!!!!!!!! here we go here we go

It took a while to pry back the jaws of her soul and wrench herself out of them.

ooh i rly like the context change here. before glynda was kinda falling back into her soul as a way of just Getting On With Shit or protecting herself, but now it’s framed in a fun new way of please can i get out of here now. good job glynda. look at u GROUNDING YRSELF like a CHAMP who should have been in a TKO LIKE FIVE ROUNDS AGO--

What did that mean? Had she asked Cinder about Ochre? Glynda struggled to recall, but the memories swirled like clouded ink in her skull.

i still love the continuation of glynda’s Mysterious Messages To Herself. she leads such a thrilling life of ‘did i write that’ and ‘did i do that’ and ‘what does any of this mean’

Hating herself, Glynda found she couldn’t remember.

and also a less thrilling life of the squeaky clown shoes variety. glynda PLEASE

She had to know: was anything Cinder had given her real?

the YOU and the US,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, the DESTINY. dw babe im sure cinder Has Never Told A Lie, Even Once In Her Life, On Account Of Being A Very Open And Honest Person,

Had she been abandoned? Cinder had been unhappy when she left. Angry, maybe. Angry enough to take her leave for good? Or had she always planned to?

i love watching glynda slowly become kind of,,,,,,,,,,,, more aware of herself in relation to other people? sometimes she still Moves or Does w/o rly thinking it thru, but we’ve got quite a change from, like, early chapters of glynda where she was barrelling along with VERY little disregard for both actions AND consequences,,, but look at her now!!!!!!! using her whole ass BRAIN. im proud of her.

When she tried to dismiss this first fear, another one was waiting underneath: had something happened to Cinder?

In her attempts to keep Glynda’s soul from smothering them both, Cinder had been quite willing to converse over the phone with her—even if her texts were short and snippy, she usually at least responded, to avoid backlash. Did she not care anymore? Or—

Or was she unable to?

/leans in, like, uncomfortably close to the microphone

glynda darling i do Not mean 2 worry u but yr (future) gf is currently grieving, pissed beyond belief, and also

/checks notes

failing her way into becoming strawberry jam

But, surprisingly, there was another half to Glynda now: one that worried, despite facts, that Cinder was in danger. That Cinder might need her.

GO AND GET THE GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The light caught in every golden thread of her crown emblem, embroidered with diligent precision. But something else caught her eye: the midnight black surrounding it had a sheen to it. Subtle red ducked through the fabric, glittering like burnished stars in a distant night sky: fire Dust.

The flash of a memory: Cinder’s face when Glynda had complained that her last cape had been burned.

This cape would not burn.

okay so no lie i cant read this bit without my eyes starting to water abt just how GOOD this section is and i have cried TOO MANY TIMES over this fic ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T H A N K Y O U F O R T H E F O O D !

CINDER MADE IT FIREPROOF. SHE DIDNT HAVE TO. SHE DIDNT NEED TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT THE SYMBOLISM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IS U N R E A L. I AM CRYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

GO GET THE GIRL YOU MORON

Glynda didn’t know what to do.

Glynda dialed Winter.

and i am INSTANTLY launched back into the comedy that is glynda goodwitch’s life at large THANKS FOR THE WHIPLASH

“No, I mean… I was awful to you the last time we spoke. I know I was. I keep thinking about it. I’m so sorry, I just… Don’t have anyone else to go to right now. I don’t know who else I’d call.” It was horrible to admit. Loneliness had never shamed her before because her soul had held it at bay. Now it made her sick. “I’m safe. If you don’t want to talk to me…”

LOOK AT THIS CHARACTER GROWTH,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, GLYNDA!!!!!!!! YR DOIN SO WELL BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE COME LOOK AT HER THINKING WITH HER M I N D.

“I lashed out at you, Professor Goodwitch. That wasn’t right of me. I should have known that you weren’t truly to blame for what you said. I know Cinder. She’s manipulative. She twists the world and makes you think she’s a different person than who she really is. I blamed you in the moment, but Cinder Fall is truly the person at fault for making you believe that I would try to hurt you. I shouldn’t have raised my voice or said the things I did.”

/rubs face

like winter needs to be in this fic and og was bereft not having her actually take up 30% of the space as she DESERVES, but god i forgot that shes a whole Thing and winter please just. shush. for a moment. for a second. ilusm. but please shut up.

Glynda was pacing, her Scroll levitating near her.

side note but casual uses of glyndas semblance is one of my fav things i love seeing it. glynda ‘look mom no hands’ goodwitch out here,

Glynda closed her eyes. The tactile recollection of cats arching, bristling, and spitting. Backed into corners. “Maybe she was panicking. I don’t know.”

i dont rly have much to say here other than continuing to enjoy Cinder As Cat, the ongoing metaphor. glyndas just gonna pick her up the scruff of the neck eventually and we will ALL b thankful.

ughghghgb im not gonna copy paste this whole convo w/ winter because this is a liveblog not a shitty projection of the fic on the side wall of a bowling alley, BUT GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD glynda is so WORRIED,,,,,,,,,,, past glynda is befuddled. bemused. why does future glynda Feel so much. but future glynda is FEELING and i love her. das yr gf yr worried abt. DAS HER,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, and also yr other gf winter too but like that’s a long-con sort of egg to hatch,

While it had been some time now since Glynda had been in a proper fight, she expected no trouble. This wasn’t Cinder—ergo: this wasn’t a real threat to her. Still, she would bide her time and hold her silence, if only for the chance of getting a hint of what was going on.

This wasn’t Cinder—ergo: this wasn’t a real threat to her.

LADS,,,, LADIES,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, BEANS,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, IS IT GAY,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, TO SEE YR RIVAL AS YR ONLY REAL THREAT,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

The group crossed the room as one unit, guns aloft and eyes peeled, determined to not be ambushed.

Glynda intended to ambush them regardless.

i dont like 2 say when an au gets a character so right that all other interpretations aren’t valid, but.......................... offal hunt gets glynda so right that all other interpretations aren’t valid, and thats that, on that,

One left. Glynda didn’t hesitate. She had been built to fight Grimm; far stronger, far quicker, far more bestial foes than these. She was herself a blade, sharpened far too fine for these intruders.

sounds hot

“Are they...alive?”

Glynda didn’t pause to check.

“Professor? Are they alive?”

glynda: fuck them kids

“How will you get to her?” Winter asked.

“I always find her in the end,” Glynda answered.

hrm,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i wonder if that’s foreshadowing something

Her soul was churning inside her, longing for solace, for Cinder. She could picture the way like a burning trail in her mind’s eye; that bright-yellow tether between herself and Cinder, that pathway between their souls that she had tread so many times before. It always led her to Cinder.

HRM,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I WONDER,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

“Good luck, Glynda.”

“Thank you,” she said again, pausing under the streetlights. “But I won’t need luck. I’ll find her.”

FELLAS,

what a good chapter!!!!!!!!!!! also i cried. BUT I HAD A REAL GOOD TIME. I CAN IMAGINE THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE LESS OF A GOOD TIME, BUT FOR NOW, I WILL ENJOY THE MENTAL IMAGE OF GLYNDA’S BICEPS AND HER FUTURE WEDDING ALSO,

#rwby #offal hunt #liveblog

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theodcra-blog · 4 years

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✱ kim doyeon. she / her. cis female. — i know that theodora “ theo ” jung is one of the roses. which makes sense because the twenty year old’s parents are hollywood royalty known for producing and recording multi-platinum awarded albums. rumors say that they are the quixotic of the group , but who knows if that’s true. + plucking petals off of daisies in the name of a crush , steeping teabags for too long , the scent of perfume left behind on a pillowcase.

hello ! im xan and im late as usual but alas ... 😔 im 22 , from the est timezone ( even though my sleeping schedule … does not reflect that sjbdwjkbdjdw ) & i go by she / her pronouns ! i truly ... never know what im doing with intros they just turn out long & messy aha ... are u ready ? *jungkook vc* let’s get it ! 😋

━ ˙ ˖ ☆ QUICK STATS !

full name: theodora marie jung.

nickname(s): theo, teddy, dora ( but only by bullies 😠 ).

zodiac: libra sun, aqua moon ( click ! )

sexuality: bisexual.

occupation: singer / songwriter, model.

birthplace: los angeles, california.

current residence: wherever this rp is taking place aha x

━ ˙ ˖ ☆ BACKSTORY ! ( tw: sexual themes )

so her parent’s story was actually a pretty big scandal in the 90′s ! basically theo’s mom was the pretty famous front woman of a band ( think stevie nicks in fleetwood mac ) who was long engaged to the guitarist of that same band....until one day it was announced she was quitting the group and starting her solo career, leaving her fiance, and signing to a new label.....which was run by theo’s father, a young up & coming producer taking over the family business. not even three months later theo’s mom releases her first solo album, produced and co-written by theo’s father, basically detailing this years long affair the two had been having... in a series of really catchy, moving, and wildly successful songs.

the public went crazy over the drama, especially when rumors started circulating ( through detailed analysis of the lyrics to all of theo’s mom’s solo songs ) that the well known band had actually been quite toxic. basically it was enough to convince media outlets and fans alike to forgive theo’s parents for being cheaters and breaking up the band JSDBWBDJWBD. by the time theo was born in the last year of the iconic decade that launched both her parents into stardom, everyone couldn’t be happier the two stars were getting the happy life they deserved <3

so here comes baby theo.....and the world kind of just immediately labels her as america’s sweetheart. her mom had some minor health issues which just meant it would be safer to not have anymore kids after theo, so not only was she this little angel to the public, she was also her parent’s little miracle baby ! lets just say she had some big shoes to fill bc of all the expectations ..

luckily no one had to worry abt her being a demon child JSBDJWDWJ because she turned out to be a very sweet kid ! she was a HUGE daydreamer since she spent a lot of time alone growing up </3 her mom had retired from singing and was now helping theo’s dad run the label, and the two of them were always busy looking for new talent to sign. she didn’t have any siblings and although she had a really attentive nanny it just .. wasn’t the same ?? so to #Cope JSBDWBSBDJW theo was always creating these super elaborate little fantasy worlds. it wasn’t uncommon for u to find her deeply engrossed playing barbies alone like she had scripts and everything

by the time she was a preteen her parents were both really pressuring theo into thinking about a singing career, so wanting to please them ( and knowing that it was something she was kinda into anyway ) theo said ok sure ! and that’s where.....things start to take a turn. since she was so young she had this very very clean, innocent, cute image ( think disney stars ) & most of the music she was making was used for kids shows or movies. she didn’t really mind it so much but she noticed that her creative process wasn’t really valued ? or taken very seriously by her parents, because in their eyes like that’s their kid you know she’s still young, she’s always had her head in the clouds, they just really didn’t think it was a big deal if they took control.

so theo put up with it, but the years kept going by, she kept getting older, and nothing was really changing. she still had a squeaky clean image, little say in the type of music she was making, but on the outside everything looked great. the public loved her, she was a role model for kids ( even though she was a teenager now ), it was all perfect.....until it wasn’t. when she was 16, she had a scandal akin to the vanessa hudgen’s nude photo leak, except it wasn’t as explicit ( not a nude, just a suggestive pic ) and it was way way worse considering theo was a minor.

legal action was immediately taken by her parents, but once something’s out there you can’t really stop it from circulating, so the photos existed, just not on any official media sites. it was traumatizing for theo having her privacy breached like that, especially because instead of talking about how disgusting it was that someone would leak those photos when she was just a teen, gossip sites & fans alike were too busy talking about how her image was ruined. since she’d had such a clean, innocent reputation, people kinda forgot that... she was an actual person going through life growing up, and that she wasn’t perfect.

theo, being the optimist she is, was like hey you know what? this is my chance to stop making music i dont love. after what was probably her first truly honest convo with her parents, they agreed she should be free to figure herself and her art out. so for the remainder of her teenage years theo fell off the face of the music world....

only to pop back up in the modeling one ! like most celebrities, social media had a big say in this. since reputation wasn’t something theo had going for her anymore, what she did have was a hell of a following still and two famous parents ( not to mention ... shes tall JSBDJWBDWJ ) she did maybe one runway show before deciding she hated that. tbh she hated any modeling that felt too constricting, which is why she never ended up doing anything for big names & mostly does stuff for foreign brands & magazines.

she liked how much aesthetics had to do with modeling, and to some extent being a part of shoots satisfied that creative itch she had, but music was always her first love. theo really wanted to go back and revisit it, but she was scared the public’s reaction wouldn’t be what she hoped /:

so following in her mother’s footsteps, theo’s re entrance into the music scene was an ep ( 100% written, produced, edited, you name it, by her ) she released on the eve of her 18th bday basically explaining everything she went through with art. it was only four songs + an interlude, which would become the most talked about part of the whole thing because it was snippets of various reporters talking about that photo leak.

the public had mixed feelings ! unlike with what happened with her parents, not everyone was ready to “forgive” theo. and since she hadn’t done any promo for her music, or for her career as an artist independent from her parent’s famous label, it wasn’t like she was making crazy money and getting all this recognition. but !! she was insanely insanely happy, and that’s when she realized making music wasn’t something she did for other people, just something she liked to share, so what did it really matter if she could be more famous if she was an artist under her parent’s label ?

cue present day theo, model & singer, although the labels are pretty loose. although her music is getting way more recognition than it did three years ago, she’s still trying to do things independently from her parents, and she still has yet to become a chanel ambassador or anything crazy SDWBKWKFW. because of that she’s kind of garnered this new reputation for herself as one of those celebs that don’t really feel like celebs, like maybe she’s just like u except let’s be real she’s rich and her experiences are NOT universal even if her cute insta pic talking about ~her feelings~ in the caption makes u think they are

━ ˙ ˖ ☆ PERSONALITY + TIDBITS !

not even gonna lie to u guys....she is baby. i dont mean that in a uwu shes 20 but im gonna weirdly make her act like a child way im not a freak shes just baby ! like i mentioned earlier theo was a HUGE daydreamer growing up, and tbh she still is except now that’s she’s older her overactive imagination can kinda get her into trouble. a good example of that is the fact that since she’s so keen to see the silver linings in life and the bright sides, she can neglect the bad sides of people and situations so things still fit into her romanticized vision /: this was the cause for many heartbreaks in theo’s life, and she’s still guilty of doing this although she’s trying to work on it !

very much the kind of person to treat everyone like a friend ( that means strangers too ) until you prove you should be treated otherwise. it takes a lot for her to not fuck with you, so if she doesn’t like you then you probably did something to deserve it /: she’s always had a curious personality as well so it’s really easy for her to connect with people just because she’s constantly fascinated by what she doesn’t know about a person. sometimes it can make ppl uncomfortable just how casually she can have a deep convo, but she just never had that filter where she has to know you for 5 years before she opens up about her trauma </3 you know how when bp’s rose and red velvet’s joy had dinner for the first time rose made joy cry bc she was talking abt her family and stuff ? JSDBWBDW theo is rose ... she’s out there sharing trauma deepening that bond day 1 of knowing you baby ! 🤧

despite all that she’s still kind of maintained this elusive air to her? it’s not like she does it on purpose, or like no one knows the real her, it’s more like just when you’ve learned one new thing about her you realize there’s that many more things you don’t know. it also doesn’t help the fact that she’s constantly romanticizing everything, most of all herself, so she’s really crafted this “dream girl” persona without fully realizing it. im not exaggerating when i say john green wants what she has </3

a lot of times people see her as naive, not because she often sees the good in people or anything like that ( although she does ), but because she has this overwhelming sureness that everything works out in the end. to be fair though, for her, things usually do. call it good karma, luck, whatever you want, but the fact of the matter is even when it looks like there’s no way a situation can turn out well for her, somehow it does. it’s a healthy combination of money, privilege, and a charming personality but to theo it’s proof that she’s right.

naturally.....as an air sign JSBDJWBJWBD she’s a huge flirt ! the media’s always linking her to someone because she really makes it seem like she’s dating half of hollywood when the reality is she’s just being friendly. when she actually likes someone it kind of turns into a huge deal like she gets infatuated with her crushes, swears she’s in love — and then poof. one day she wakes up & realizes she’s kinda over it ... until the next person comes along of course <3

hates conflict and confrontation.....and i mean HATES it to the point where she doesn’t even confront stuff within herself ( i.e. “negative” feelings like sadness ) until one day it all bubbles over and she’s having a legit breakdown and dying her hair red.

yes, that’s exactly what happened last year, although if you ask theo about it she’ll just be like aha what do you mean i just wanted red hair luv x

pictures like these ( click ! ) of theo when she'd be walking around LA in her school uniform used to go viral on twitter.

desperately wishes she was the type of singer ppl would throw their bras at on stage when the reality is she’s out there making some chill bedroom pop kind of stuff so rip that dream </33333

knows how to play the piano and the guitar, but keeps joking one day she’s gonna make an album and only use her recorder as the instrumentals.

has a white british longhair kitty named zoe.

is 100% that bitch that can only drink sweet drinks & fruity cocktails and u know what she’s valid for it !

if she wasn’t famous she’d be making slime. legit running a slime making insta, those were her guilty pleasure & shes so mad they aren’t that popular anymore JSBDJWBDJW

u know that post that’s like “i hate making tea i always feel so bad about throwing away the tea bag i feel like i should just eat it” ? thats theo

━ ˙ ˖ ☆ WANTED CONNECTIONS !

BEST FRIENDS: a power duo the public either loves or hates, ride or dies, that 1 person theo would drop everything for no matter what.....yeah 🥺 they’d be the person she’s closest to & vice versa !

CHILDHOOD / FAMILY FRIENDS: their famous parents were friends, so it’s only natural they wanted their kids to be friends too. just imagine the stories ..... the memories .... maybe they got along really well and are still friends today ! or maybe theo pushed your muse off of the swings ( she claims it was an accident ) and your muse never forgot and to this day they’re sworn enemies.....</3 or less dramatic......they just drifted apart and now it’s like hey we used to be so close aha thats awkward let me just smile at you and walk away ....

LIKE SIBLINGS: someone who sees theo as a sister, and who theo considers her unofficial sibling. most likely she’s gonna bother the shit out of this person as siblings do but they really mean a lot to her because it’s the family she never had /:

CONFIDANTS: the one person theo keeps finding herself talking about the things she usally keeps inside with. i think it’d be funny if both of them find it weird to do things like go out to lunch or shop together because that’s not what they’re used to !

ACQUAINTANCES: friends who are only really friends when both of them are wasted or friends who only comment heart eye emojis and fire sign emojis under each others insta posts but don’t actually talk much for whatever reason

FRIENDS THAT DATED: maybe things just ended amiably between them, or maybe it’s like an “everyone told us we should date so we tried it and boy was that the weirdest thing we ever did” situation. either way the outcome is they’e still friends <3

CAHOOTS: what is this u may ask ? someone theo can be in cahoots with. she has a dumb idea that no one else is likely to say yes to? she goes to ur muse. ur muse has an idea no one in their right mind would say yes to? they go to theo. these two are in cahoots !

BAD INFLUENCE: although that america’s sweetheart reputation is gone, overall theo is still seen as a “good girl” by the public. she’s not one to be in a lot of scandals so i think it’d be really fun if your muse is corrupting that ( whether they’re doing it on purpose or not ) and whenever theo’s with them she just somehow always manages to end up in trouble.

THE BIG EX: theo’s first real relationship, and first real heartbreak. everyone before them had been an infatuation, but your muse was the real deal. maybe the media ruined it, or they ruined it themselves by being too scared of their feelings to stick around, or maybe one of them was willing to try but the other wasn’t. either way it ended badly, and whether those feelings are resolved or not....thats a secret i’ll never tell x

SUMMER FLINGS: give me past & current ( or maybe even recurring ) summer flings where they both know it’s temporary but boy is it fun while it lasts. google their names together and you’ll find paparazzi snapshots on the backs of vespas, on million dollar yachts, holding hands in museums or sunbathing on the beach but by the time fall comes creeping in the romance is over.

HOOKUPS: friends with benefits and it’s not awkward between them, friends with benefits and it’s super weird between them because they may be crossing over into real feeling territory, one night stands / hookups that were huge mistakes, one night stands or hookups that were or are being kept secret from the rest of the roses for whatever reason, someone who leads theo on but never gets serious about her, or someone she leads on but she never gets serious about, her go-to hookup on a night out when she’s partying, etc.

WILL THEY WON’T THEY: a friendship that always teeters on the line of something romantic ! maybe they’re both oblivious to the chemistry / tension or maybe they’re aware of it because they get jealous when they hear about the other being with someone else… maybe they refuse to do anything about it because they don’t want to complicate things or maybe they purposefully cross lines when they feel that jealousy…..could be more angsty or it could be more wholesome depending on which way it goes 😈

ARTIST TO ARTIST: i don’t think .... we have any other singers / ppl in the music industry but i could for sure be wrong JSBDSJBDJWD but ! i still would love to have people theo’s worked with before. maybe if your muses has been acting since they were little, theo could have mingled with them back when she was doing music for kids shows & movies. maybe your muse is a model and theo and them have done shoots together before. maybe theo’s written a current song for a movie / tv show your muse was a part of. maybe your muse is a model and theo asked them to feature on the cover of one of her albums. maybe she hired your muse to act in the music video of one of her songs ! maybe your muse can also sing even though that’s not their main thing and theo’s asked them to feature on a song with her. there are soooo many possibilities that could be lots of fun <33

MISC: “we used to party together all the time until that one thing happen that neither of us talk about and now we don’t do that anymore”, someone who took care of drunk theo once and ever since then she’s taken that as an open invitation to knock on your muse’s door at 3 am completely wasted, “we tried to date but the paparazzi caught us on a date and we were too scared / sick of the public eye so we never got far”, flirty friends who say no i’d never sleep with you haha…unless you’re down?, your muse was theo’s first time OR theo was your muse’s first time, stereotypical happy go lucky and grumpy relationship where the grumpy muse pretends not to enjoy the other’s presence, enemies but it can’t be anything petty it would have to be pretty serious so if u want that drama....

that’s the end i promise it’s finally over 😭😭😭 i truly just ramble & ramble im really so sorry abt that JSDJWBDJWBDJWBDJW i tried to include as much info as possible to make plotting a little easier for all of us so lets pray this works </3 u can come message me on discord to plot @ seulgi ily ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ#8172 so give this a like if u wanna .... do that ahahahaha x

#╰ ♡ . 𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒆 𝒇𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒆 𝒇𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒆𝒔 ── ooc !#i didnt proof read a thing if u find a typo u can keep her <3 JSBDJWBDJW #this is . ridiculously long for no good reason im so sorry but now u know the real me ...#roses:intro

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mental-health-advice · 4 years

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🐻 Im in this weird spot. Like I want to talk to people (text/phone call) but at the same time i have no motivation to do so. Im used to always reaching out or keeping the convo going. But this time I just don't have much to say. Im really stressed. I sometimes wish my friends would reach out to me. I feel bad for not answering others. But im just stuck. How can I feel okay ? I hate always having to apologize for how I feel.

Hey there,

I understand exactly how you feel on this one, and it’s a difficult thing to try and deal with just now with everything going on in the world. One thing I would say is to try and not feel bad - we all go through it at some point or another and it’s good to maybe just switch off for a bit.

Something I would maybe say is set some boundaries for yourself at the moment - maybe say you wont answer your phone to texts/phone calls between 7pm-9am or whatever time suits you. This way you don’t have that guilt of thinking ‘I really should reply to that text’ or ‘I really should phone that person back’ - this is your time to switch off and you’re allowed that. (Maybe give some close friends a heads up that you’re doing this though if you’re normally a late texter maybe.)

You could also maybe not arrange phonecalls - I find that having something scheduled makes me sit and not want to do it all day and I feel I can’t relax, knowing I have to do something. On the flip side, for some people having a planned thing they have to do is actually helpful because once they’re actually talking with someone it’s good for them and it was just the thought of doing it that was difficult. Maybe a compromise between them is scheduling and early morning call - a virtual breakfast date over FaceTime?

Maybe doing a home workout video at the same time, which might help with you feeling you don’t have much to say and kick starting some motivated energy. With my friend, we found the same thing a couple of weeks ago that we wanted to socialise but had no motivation or much to say, so we both watched a true crime youtuber together at the same time and paused every 20 minutes to call and talk about it. It put a time cap on it (1 hour-ish) and gave us something to talk about. It also gave us quiet time, but it still felt social.

Also, it’s okay to not feel social - and sometimes forcing ourselves to be social isn’t always the best fix. Thinking about this, you don’t have to apologise to your friends for your feelings, they are what they are and your friends will understand. You could perhaps apologise for slow replies, or leaving a message on read or skipping a phone call but how you feel is out of your control to some extent. Have you thought about talking to your friends openly - maybe you could ask them to check in on you, pester you when you’ve been quiet for too long or give you space when you’re really needing it?

I hope that this is something that soon passes for you, and you get back to feeling more hopeful and enthusiastic about your friendships again. Try not to be too hard on yourself at the moment - it’s crazy times, we can all feel a bit drained emotionally - give yourself rest when you need it, and push yourself to do the things you’d rather not when you know it’ll be best.

Take Care,

Hollie x

#🐻#mhahollie #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #socialising #feeling stuck #no motivation

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somnilogical · 4 years

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they will never be as strong or as fast as i can be

copy/pasted from a convo:

<<somni: ive been exploiting being able to talk about everything vs miri/cfar cant do what i do bc if they did they would talk about how they are evil. it would all chain back.

somni: omg i can just post this to my blog because i can talk about my meta-strategy and it confers pretty much no relative advantage to miri/cfar. because 1 most of them have disassembled their agency so its like talking in front someone who works at the dmv about taking over the world and the ones that have any agency (basically just anna salamon) have to work with and coordinate via brokenness the masses that have and 2 feels secure in the way that saying ill use my soul as my weapon feels secure, like the power of this technique doesnt depend much on people not knowing im using it.>>

truth is entangled and lies contagious. justice is entangled and injustice contagious. in order to sustain their facade, miri/cfar had to chain back to lie about the principles of decision theory itself. lie about the organization structure of cfar, lie about miri's fundraiser. and so much more.

any series of reasoned claims they make will chain back to stuff thats false or injustice, because they seek to maintain a region of untruth and injustice.

so yeah, miri/cfar basically cant talk in public except in staid formalities infinitely pouring the same entropy of "these people are psychotic" "these people are infohazards" "do not read what they write" "stay the course" "everything is under control, do not panic" "i know my associates at miri/cfar, they are good people" "if you talk with these people you may become a rapist". but not actually able to manifest dynamic compute. to explain themselves they built their own personal room 101, filled with miri/cfar affiliates and formed a united front of gaslighting. deluks (author of that one rationalist blog where they worked to read and summarize all the others) talks about the kind of compute miri/cfar manifested:

<<deluks: I also updated a lot based on Bay Area safety discussion

idk if I have ever been in such a hostile environment for anyone trying to discuss making thigns safer

If you wanted to discuss how Anna et all were innocent people would happily chat with you

If you tried to discuss ideas for making things safer either you got silence

or people would be insanely hostle if you plausibly slipped up at all

or even seemed like you might have been not careful enough in how you phrased things

extremely careful -> no engagement at all//even slightly less care -> get dogpilled>>

they have picked up the optimization style of of cops, as alice maz described them:

<<the role of the cop is to defend society against the members of society. police officers are trivially cops. firefighters and paramedics, despite similar aesthetic trappings, are emphatically not. bureaucrats and prosecutors are cops, as are the worst judges, though the best are not. schoolteachers and therapists are almost always cops; this is a great crime, as they present themselves to the young and the vulnerable as their friends, only to turn on them should they violate one of their profession's many taboos. soldiers and parents need not be cops, but the former may be used as such, and the latter seem frighteningly eager to enlist. the cop is the enemy of passion and the enemy of freedom, never forget this>>

i can travel lots of places and regenerate truth and justice.

i can go to a trans support group in the bay and show them logs of what elle said and did and they can recognize the pattern of minority oppression, transmisogyny.

i can talk with uninvolved decision-theorists about why paying out to oneshot blackmail with subjunctive dependence because "In game theory, paying out to blackmail is bad, because it creates an incentive for more future blackmail." is wrong. and why exploiting your subjunctive dependence as a udt agent to not pay out is right. they cant.

miri/cfar have to centrally coordinate on lies or they start crashing into each other. independently generating falsehoods in isolation makes them point in all directions.

independently generating and working off of truths allows everything to point in the same direction without needing to communicate. i can write this post and then idk maybe someone im algorithmically colluding with on this writes another post and they dont come out all distorted and skew with each other. this caches out in what looks from the outside as an uncanny ability to start dynamically colluding with people and output distinct strains of philosophy based on shared precepts.

interference with yourself looks like kelsey piper trying to claim that emma and somni are starting some sort of rape cult and anna and miri/cfar trying to claim we are naive victims of ziz's cult and ▘▕▜▋ claiming emma and somni are mindhacking ziz to make her bully them and jade nameless claiming im doing this to get a job at cfar and ...

since they make up their fake coordination points independently they smash into each other. if they want to coordinate over lots of people they then have to work out which of these they want to coordinate around in a sort of market of falsehoods. and have to arrange for it to not contradict any information anything people know. but they dont know all the information everyone knows, and they wont know it even after combing through lots of blogs and reading lots of discord chats.

when they try coordinating on falsehoods like this, its hard to get a coalition together in an environment where what people know is rapidly changing because a bunch of anarchist bloggers keep posting things in a bunch of places on a non-centrally controlled schedule determined by what seems like a good idea at the time to independent agents. and having lots of conversations with so many different people in private and public they cant keep track of them all.

if they try pretending to be dumb and forming a unified gaslighting front in one area. then people will exploit the fact that this is the internet and not the evolutionary environment, take logs and post them somewhere else where everyone didnt collude to be dumb in this particular way. so while their monkey brains get a rush of endorphins from being able to successfully coordinate local humans, what feels like an entire tribe, against the blasphemer, actually they just used their adult intelligence to defeat in front of a bunch of people who dont share their political commitments but who can reason about what is true and what is just.

(of course there are many truths this doesnt work on because of large inferential distance, shared mammalian biases it takes an unusual mind to step over, and shared incentives. but the defense of most regions of injustice and untruth when you ask questions have to keep chaining to more and more absurd things until you are defending causal decision theory or start claiming 'anna salamon, the president of cfar, is not involved in cfar's hiring'. which depend on a social context committed to defending everything that protects miri/cfar and people who dont have the same conclusion-that-must-not-happen can see that its dumb.)

if miri/cfar had committed themselves to the path of expanding agency, maybe i wouldnt be posting my thoughts and meta-process on the public internet. (in the counterfactual where they committed to this path, its likely that i wouldnt be protesting. because it seems actually-hard to stay on the path and remain evil.) but as it stands, i expect this information to differentially help anarchists and do about as much good for statists as explaining updateless decision theory to someone at cfar. its just this inert structure in their brains, they cant do anything strategic with it. they intentionally shut down their ability to take ideas seriously and drive out anyone left who can, calling them crazy.

what they can do is "oh here is a list of people to target" and "see if they said anything incriminating". ive seen their attempts to coordinate enter the attractors of 'authoritarianism' (duncans dragon army, kingsleys "repent and submit to [AUTHORITY FIGURE]") and 'lets all lie in the same direction and disable general cognition to update out of this! the important part is social agreement and that everyone allows social reality to have the final veto on their beliefs. i myself do this so you know im super safe and this is super fair.' (anna and kelsey). this sort of weak coordination based on breaking people can be easily subverted by anything real.

if you are actually right, you can exploit useful properties of being right and let that be your asymmetric weapon. such that all that challenge you know they will know its steel. and then people who compute the outcome and expect to lose, dont fight in the first place.

if my chosen weapon were actually the size of my muscles and imposing figure compared to anna salamon as miri/cfar people "believed" (exploiting the already extant anti-transfem psychic suppression field as one of their few functioning coordination points. probably not as functional now after what i have written.), then when i fought people it would create a warp field such that then people with smaller muscles wont fight in the first place, but id be deluged by people with larger muscles. i dont want to create a warp field that summons people with lots of muscles.

if i exploit properties of my souls, of truth and justice. then i have an arsenal of techniques that are stronger if i actually want to save everyone, if im actually right, if im acting for justice. because they exploit useful differential properties of each. and the warp field in higher density summons ... people who care about saving the world, truth, and justice. in other words, a high density of potential allies.

by default i want to exploit "the difference is that im right" not "the difference is that i have larger muscles". i want differential power to push away those who are wrong and unjust and attract those who are right and just into a kind of warp hull.

there are other reasons as well.

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allhallowsreid · 4 years

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just lots and lots of very long-winded, random thoughts about last night’s finale and the show itself...

so obvs no one has to agree with me on any of this, i just feel like there likely ARE ppl who feel like this and it’s easy to get shut down on tumblr for having different opinions, and i mostly just need to gather my feelings and thoughts in one place.

-ive seen a handful of ppl upset that the last ep centered around reid, but if you were to take 10 fans of this show, it’s a pretty good chance that 8 or 9 of them would say reid is their fave character. that isn’t me trying to insult any of the other characters, that’s just the way it is. whether it’s bc of his looks (and my lord was he gorgeous in this finale ep), or that he’s your typical cute white boi, or more organic reasons like he’s been there since day 1 and we were able to watch him change and grow, and he’s the opposite of the typical male characters we often see, especially on cop shows.. whatever the reason, he is a VERY popular tv character. and if it weren’t for that character, for better or worse, this show would have ended a long time ago.

-the ending itself.. i just feel like i don’t know what ppl were expecting?? this is not a show like supernatural or dexter or a show that has had a fluent overarching story to tell from start to finish. the story continues without us watching it. it’s another day at the office for them. was it a great ending? no, but it was fine. we see where all of them are headed. endings are so difficult, i’m just glad they didn’t kill anyone off or some garbage like that.

-so damn happy they hooked up luke and garcia. i have had such issues with garcia’s character since morgan left, i feel like she became a caricature, where she just overacts and i recently read an article with kirsten where she actually admitted that when shemar left she really didn’t know what to do with her character anymore. honestly? it showed. the obnoxiousness to luke was cute at first bc she obviously had a crush on him, but then it just became mean and out of character. this season i was happy to see her get a little bit more back to herself. all this being said, they were very clearly headed towards getting luke and garcia together this season with the overt flirting and one on one convo’s, i’m so glad they went through with it instead of leaving it open ended. and i will admit that of all the characters, i didn’t think garcia would be the one to leave, but it made sense. garcia is tough as hell, much tougher than she gives herself credit for, but like luke said, she can do this other job without the gore that she cringes over in literally every single episode of the show. also loved jj saying garcia was the glue of the team. so true, so well said. and side note, kirsten does a hell of a job writing these characters that she knows all too well, the other writers should’ve just let her take over in later seasons.

-prentiss... i love my emily so dang much, but man they give her the absolute worst dialogue. she gets stuck with all these long sentences that just.. they just don’t flow?? and it takes me out of the show so often. this has been since s12 when she became unit chief. there has been a handful of times since she became the boss that we have had flashes of old school smartass goth girl emily, and i cherished each moment, but it wasn’t enough. somewhere along the way they forgot how to write into the show that their characters had PERSONALITY. just as an example of the stupid dialogue she gets.. the end of the ep where it’s intended to look like rossi’s retirement party. then, idk who it was, emilys boyfriend maybe(?) says some dumb comment about oh gee i thought this was dave’s retirement! and then emily starts some awkwardly long line that could’ve been summed up in “dave decided not to retire afterall” and it was just soooo... weird?!!? if we are agreeing that A MONTH has gone by.. you are to tell me that it never once came up that dave said he was gonna retire and then changed his mind!??! that night, one month later, is the first that this discussion occurred!!?!?! and all of these dumb lines come out sounding so robotic, and i can’t blame paget, bc the lines are boring as hell. also unless i missed something i can’t rule emily out of being the next director, especially since their profile ended up being correct, lynch and the mom didn’t kill themselves, so i’m sure when that all came out, the next hurdle emily would have to clear is how they just blew up their very expensive jet right after having a budget meeting 2 episodes ago!!

- i’m gonna lump the newer characters together.. and just say that it was all too little, too late. they tried to give matt and luke more this season, and the ep’s centered on them were great, but it all felt forced to me. all this character development should’ve started as soon as they came onto the show. the relationships between the new and original characters also feels forced a lot of times, barring relationships like rossi and his boys, luke and garcia, tara and emily.. i mean that’s kind of all, right? we never saw much off-the-job, personal interactions between them and the rest of the characters, did we? and the way tara was treated on this show is inexcusable. aisha’s talents were so underused on this show it was criminal (pun intended). and actually, the above stuff i said about emily getting nonsense dialogue, you can throw matt in there too. his dialogue was friggin god awful at times on this show. in the words of early seasons reid, maybe try to be more conversational, writers!!

-man oh man was jj a badass and a half in this finale. tbh i always enjoyed liaison jj more than ssa jj, but when badass jj comes out i get all excited. i do feel like she would be the best fit to take over if emily left, she’d stepped into that role before and excelled. but she is another character that at times i think the writers just forgot how to write her personality somewhere along the way. i understand that the reality is that people change over time, but there were times that she was written like a typical high school mean girl, and that was just an insult to the character they created. the whole jeid thing was severely overblown and unnecessary. i don’t hate the idea of them being together, but why wait til s14-15 to deal with this? in the end i thought it was handled okay, i personally didn’t feel like it ruined their friendship or stayed awkward, which i appreciated, it was just a storyline that wasn’t needed and wasted time. also, ppl griping about “oh but she clearly loves will, if she loves spencer then she can’t love will!” i mean, actually, ppl are capable of loving more than one person at a time, hate to burst that bubble for ya.

-this seems like a good moment though to pause and just get this out about will lamon-fuckin-tagne jr... this guy is too good for jj lol, i am sorry but he is such a great guy. and can we review some things about will and his wife’s bestest friend, godfather to his children, spencer reid?? when will and spencer first met, it was during an unbelievably personal case to will, i mean his father died sending him a message about this case that the fbi was called in on. and his first intro with reid?? let’s see, reid spent that ep strung out on drugs, and full on abandoning the case to go hang out with his friend at a club/bar/lounge/whatever. ok, so that’s will’s first impression of jj’s bestie, and will STILL okay’d him being the godfather of his kids. not to mention, can you imagine your wife has been gone in the damn middle east for who even knows how long, then when she finally gets back and you think you’re gonna have her to yourself, but oh no, here comes jj’s friggin bestie again to come cry on the couch every night for several weeks!!!! and he gives zero indication of not liking spencer, in fact he seems rather fond of him. will is the most patient man ever, i swear.

-ok that was an unexpected side track. moving onto rossi. not sure why they were all like oh pfft this guy will never retire. the dude literally retired before the show started lol. if he retired once, when he was fairly young, why is the idea of it happening again so impossible? again, dumb dialogue. i loved the stuff with him and young gideon (i may be biased tho bc i’m just so damn proud of ben savage), i loved that rossi knew more about the jet than the others, however that was an inconsistency bc when rossi came back from retirement, he couldn’t believe the bau had its own jet. unless i just misunderstood what emily meant when she said it all started with rossi and gideon. i felt like lynch was a very underwhelming villain. super forgettable. there was no charisma like foyet or cat adams, there was no creep factor like mr scratch, there was no mystery like the replicator or the fisher king. his whole story just fell flat, and if there were anything interesting about him whatsoever, it’s bc of what rossi brought to the table, not the “chameleon”.

-my boy reid. he has several lifetimes of baggage to unpack, and i think of all the characters on this show, no one hates unpacking their trauma more than reid. i feel like it was so relatable that he could barely speak in this ep without sounding on the verge of tears, like every sentence was painful to even get out bc of how much hurt is stored up inside him. his trauma has defined him for years now, and if they had ended the show without addressing even some of it, the show would’ve been incomplete. i understand that actors schedules just don’t work out sometimes, but idk what the point was of having strauss and foyet be his devil and angel. and foyet’s long explanation of how bc he changed hotch, he changed the team was so convoluted that he may as well have just said “they couldn’t get james van der beek or the dude who played mr scratch, so im here instead”. i liked what they did with reid and maeve, and i actually don’t mind that there was no mention of max. they’re still very early in their relationship, and i feel like him coming out with some “wait i think i love max!” revelation would just be too fast and ooc. we already know that the relationship between them is growing, it doesn’t need to be said. and can i get an amen that maeve and reid didn’t kiss bc god that would’ve been weird as hell.

- i hate that we couldn’t have hotch or morgan or blake or elle or any of the main characters that helped make this show what it was, but i’m still grateful for the crumbs they gave us if the actors just couldn’t be booked for whatever reason. i’ve seen many shows at their end just try to pretend their previous characters never existed, so that we got some flashbacks with them was appreciated.

- RIP bau jet. i wiiiill reMEMber youuuuuuu.

-the song choice of david bowie’s Heroes was perfection. strangely, when i was driving home from work yesterday that song came on my playlist and i blasted it on repeat and performed a car concert for my fellow drivers on the road, and thought to myself that this song would be great for cm to end on. never thought they would actually do it since they had previously used the song in penelope’s ep. but what a great scene of all them dancing and singing and laughing like the bunch of nerdy idiots they are.

-i came late into the game with this show. ppl have been telling me for years to watch it and i only picked up watching in s13, after i read a spn/cm crossover fic and became super curious about who all these awesome characters were. with that said, i’m aware that since i haven’t invested years of my life in this show, that my feelings and thoughts about the ending will be different than those who have been hooked on this show for over a decade. i’m still just so thankful for the family portrayed by this show, and these characters i fell in love with, and episodes i’ll never forget.

#text posts #series finale #thx for reading if u took the time to do so :-)#criminal minds

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