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fandom-imagines-stories · 3 years

Text

Empty Eyes

Dean Wincester x Reader

Words: 3574

The Deal S2 Finale: Series Masterlist

Summary: The reader and the boys go on a hunt to distract themselves from the growing chaos, but the hunt proves to be more than they anticipated.

Notes: Now, I have to admit, season two was a little rocky, but I think it turned out okay. I hope you guys are as excited for the third and final season because I am beyond pumped to write it. As always, please please let me know what you think!

Your leg bounced up and down, the tension in the car making your anxiety about the hunt even worse. Mary left. You weren’t sure if it was because of you or because of the stress of being back from the dead, but she said she needed time on her own to figure things out. Dean wasn’t taking it well, so Sam wanted to distract him by getting on a case fast.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Dean wondered, noticing your nervous fiddling. You snapped your attention to him and gave him a convincing smile.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” With his mind so many other places, he settled on believing you. At least for now. You checked your eyes in the rearview mirror. They were still Y/E/C. They were your eyes.

“Alright, remind me what we’re after?” Dean asked. You could hear the desperation in his voice. Desperate to put his fist through something. He needed to break something before he bust.

“Looks like a shapeshifter just outside Castle Rock, Colorado.” Sam informed, scrolling through the article on his phone. “But I won’t be sure until we get there.”

“What do you mean you can’t be sure?” Dean snapped. Sam knew that his brother’s frustrations were not directed towards him, so he did his best to keep a cool head.

“Well, there have been a series of deaths that all involved people suddenly turning against their friends and family after a weird change in personality.”

“That could be a number of things.” You pointed out, leaning up from the back.

“Yes, but there have been a few instances where the person that supposedly killed their whole family was caught on camera in a bar half way across town.” Sam gave you a smug look and you returned it with a rough pat on the shoulder.

“Oh, how I missed your know-it-all brain, Sammy.” You laughed, hoping the lighter mood would ease Dean’s mind. He feigned a small smile, but his hands were still gripping the wheel a little too tight.

Mom leaving was not the only thing that Dean was worried about. Ever since Cas had taken that angel blade from your hands a week ago, you had pretended that nothing had happened. You were back to being exactly the same girl that he fell in love with and as much as he hated it, it worried him. He knew what was eating you up inside and he knew you were trying so hard not to show it. But just because you wanted to pretend it wasn’t there, didn’t mean it wasn’t stirring in your chest, waiting to consume you. He knew the feeling.

By the time that the impala pulled into town, everyone in the car had inner turmoil and were desperately trying to hide it. So in other words, a typical Thursday.

“So be serious,” Sam started as you walked up to the door of one of the crime scenes. Dean was looking over security tapes at the police station, so it was just you and the giant Winchester. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine, Sam.” You rolled your eyes playfully and hoped he would just leave it be. But of course, it was Sam, so he couldn’t.

“You know you can talk to me about it, right?” His sincerity made guilt seep into your head so you walked ahead of him. Sam let out a frustrated breath and stopped on the first step of the porch. “I get that you just want to pretend that it didn’t happen, but you can’t.”

“Sam, we are not talking about this now. We’re on a case.”

“Y/N, I don’t care about the case. I care about you and Dean and the fact that neither of you are processing anything that has happened in this past week.”

“Dean doesn’t know how he feels about your mom leaving. I understand that.”

“No, Dean knows how he feels, he just doesn’t want to feel it.” Sam corrected, running his fingers through his hair. “You both are just pushing everything so far inside of you that it's just going to build up until it explodes.”

“I’m not exactly going to go to a therapist, if that’s what you want.”

“I just want you to talk to me. To both of us. I’m not saying I know exactly what happened to you down there, but we’ve all been to hell-”

“Well that just makes it so much better. Maybe we should start a support group.” You snapped. “I saw his face. Nothing is ever going to erase that from my head.” You watched his face fall.

“Y/N-”

“Just stop it, Sam!” You shouted. Even though he was much taller than you, you got in his face, seething. “Just. Stop.” The fury in your voice frightened even you. Sam took a startled step back. You felt like your blood was on fire, racing through your body and searing off your skin. You sighed and looked down at the old, rotted wood steps beneath your feet. “Sorry, Sam, I just-”

“It’s okay.” He put a comforting hand on your shoulder. “This is just what I’m talking about though. You keep this inside of you for too long and it’s going to lash out.”

“I know.” You leaned against one of the beams, almost worried that it would collapse. “I don’t know what to do, Sam. Everywhere I go, I’m worried that I’m going to snap and hurt someone.”

“You won’t.” He assured you. “Y/N, I know you don’t believe it, but there’s nothing evil growing inside you.” His green-blue eyes stared lovingly at you. “It’s like Cas said. There is a part of you that is broken, but that does not mean it can’t be fixed. That’s what we’re here for.”

“I don’t think that a couple of beers and a road trip is going to put me back together, Sammy.” You said, keeping your head down.

“No,” Sam put a finger under your chin and lifted your gaze back to his, “but we can sure as hell help you pick up the pieces.”

You fought back tears and pulled the younger Winchester into a hug. After all that time in hell, Sam Winchester was still your brother.

“Are you two the agents that called?” An officer peaked their head out the door. You quickly pulled away from Sam and nodded.

“That’s us.”

“Well come on in. Better prepare yourselves though. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much blood on one carpet.” The officer shuddered. You and Sam exchanged a look before following him inside.

He wasn’t lying. The carpet was soaked with red and it was splattered all over the walls. This had to have been one sick shifter to do all of this. Sam checked out the largest pool of blood since that’s where the victim bled out. You made your way around the room, checking little details that might give you any clues as to where this son of a bitch could be.

“Can you tell us anything about the victims?” Sam asked the officer, crouching down to look at the extent of the blood.

“Well sure, agent. This is a small town. Everybody knows everybody.” He motioned to a broken picture frame on the floor. “The first was Talia Gonzolaz. She’s lived here her whole life, my sister went to school with her. The next two were her kids, Rosalia and Carmen.” He looked mournfully at the once happy family. “I still can’t believe that Mateo could do something like this.”

“So you knew the killer well, too?”

The officer nodded. “He ran the bar that us cops would go to after our shifts. Always seemed like such a nice guy.”

While Sam continued to ask questions about the family, you walked the perimeter of the room. Everything seemed deliberately out of place; books were torn apart and thrown about the room, furniture was slashed up with a knife, records were shattered on the floor. There was only one intact and it sat with the needle still running. The local police must not have noticed. You switched the record player off and felt a chill run through your veins.

“I think we’ve got it from here if you’ve got some work at the station to take care of.” You announced, giving the officer a look that said you wanted him out of the room. He obliged, hardly in a position to argue with a federal agent, even a fake one. Sam got up and walked towards you.

“Find something?” He looked over your shoulder to see what had your face turning white. You gulped.

“I don’t think that a shifter is behind this.”

You both stared down at the blood smeared record, the last sound the victims heard before they were hacked to pieces. Bad Company.

Dean burst into the motel room, adrenaline coursing due to his brother’s urgent phone call. Sam was sitting on the bed, resting his head in his hands while you were hidden behind the partition separating the sleeping area from the kitchen.

“What happened? You said something was wrong.” He asked. Sam just glanced back in your direction.

“This hunt may be bigger than we thought.” He said grimly. Dean quickly went into the kitchen, where you were pacing madly in front of an open book. You didn’t even notice him.

“There has to be a reason she’s picked me.” You muttered to yourself. “Demons don’t just follow people around forever for no reason. She picked me. Why?”

“What happened at the crime scene?” Dean wondered, watching you with concerned confusion.

“She’s here, Dean. She’s here for me.” You yanked your fingers through the tangles in your hair, keeping up your furious pacing. Dean grabbed you by the arm, forcing you to stop moving.

“Woah, okay, first I need you to calm down.” He put his hands on your shoulders and waited until your breathing seemed to return to normal. “Now, what are you talking about?”

“Lavina is here.” His brows drew together in even more confusion. You gulped. “The demon I made the deal with. She then made me her personal punching bag in the pit.”

“Why would some low-level demon have a grudge against you?” He asked, pushing images of you being torn apart out of his head. He saw them enough in his nightmares every night.

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out.” You moved to stand over the book on the table, fingers running down the columns of words as you scanned them. “I’ve been looking for hours and I can’t find anything about Lavina or demons with special connections to humans.”

“How do you even know she’s here? I thought we already figured out it’s a shifter.”

“There was a record on at the last house. It was meant for me, I know it was.” You flipped through the pages, eyes wild and determined. Dean sighed. He’d seen that look of furious obsession before.

“If it really is this demon chick, then we can figure it out together.”

“No.” You blurted, suddenly looking up at him. He straightened his shoulders and narrowed his eyes.

“What?”

“Dean, this is my fight. Lavina wants me. I’m not going to let you and Sam get in the middle of it.” You started to pack up your things into a backpack: exorcism books, paint for devils traps, and most importantly, an angel blade.

“Oh, you’re not going to let us, huh?” He glowered, blocking the doorway. “You’re just going to march out there, summon her up and take her down, right?”

“That’s the plan.” You put your hands on your hips and stared him down. If he thought he could bully you into staying then he was sadly mistaken.

“Y/N, a week ago you tried to use that blade on yourself, so if you think I’m letting you out of my sight with that thing, you’ve got another thing coming.”

“This is my fight, Dean.”

“No.” He growled. “No, the second you made that deal, you made it my fight too. So don’t you dare tell me that ‘you have to do this alone’ because that’s crap. We either go after Lavina together or not at all.” He loomed over you, jaw clenched and eyes hard. He would tie you down if he had to and you knew it.

“Fine.” You sighed in submission. “We’ll go together. But, I need a shower first.” Dean quirked a brow. “No, you can’t come with me. I want to get this blood out from under my nails.” You moved around him to grab a fresh set of clothes from your bag. Sam was still sitting on his bed, giving you an inquiring look. He had heard the argument, but decided not to say anything. He just gave you a small nod of reassurance and started looking through some old lore books. As you walked towards the bathroom, Dean gently grabbed your arm.

“Y/N, I…” He took a deep breath, trying to figure out his words. “I can’t risk anything happening to you. Not again.” His hard gaze had turned sad, almost desperate. You gave him a small smile and pressed a sweet, short kiss to his lips.

“That’s how I feel about you.” You whispered, running your fingers along his jaw. You slipped past him and tucked something between the shirt and jeans in your arms. Dean ran a hand down his face and sighed heavily, taking a seat across from his brother.

“She wants to go alone?” Sam asked.

“Yeah.”

“Did she really think we’d let her?”

“I guess so.”

“Dean, I saw her face when she saw that record. The look in her eyes…” He shook his head. “It’s consuming her.”

“I know.” The sound of the water running set him at ease slightly. “Sam, I don’t know what to do. We can’t let this demon run around making meals out of people, but if Y/N gets to her without a real plan?”

“Then we’ll make a plan.” Sam shrugged. It was really their only option, as much as he hated to admit it. “We’ll do it together, like we always do.” All Dean could do was nod, staring at the wall while thoughts ran rampant in his mind. Half an hour must have passed before he started to worry.

“Y/N?” He said through the door, knocking lightly. The water kept running. “Sweetheart, I think the water’s cold by now. Sam and I want to start making a plan, so why don’t you come out?” Still no response.

Then something caught his eye. An empty spot on the table where you had set the angel blade. Dean’s blood boiled. With one powerful kick, he busted open the bathroom door to find the vacant shower running and the window wide open.

“Son of a bitch!”

You climbed into the window of the abandoned warehouse being careful not to scrape your arms on the broken glass. Looking around the room, you found the best spot for the trap and pulled out the spray paint you’d bought on the way here.

“There’s no need for that.” It was a different voice, but you’d recognize that malicious tone anywhere. This time, Lavina possessed some poor blonde college student. “I knew you’d come looking for me. Especially after that little incident with Dean-o.” You narrowed your eyes, grabbing the angel blade from your boot.

“How do you know about that?”

“Oh, Y/N, haven’t you figured it out yet.” She put her hands over her chest in mock sincerity and pouted her lips. “We’re connected.”

“Screw you.”

“I see your manners haven’t improved in the company of the Winchesters.” She stalked towards you slowly, like a cat looking at a canary. “Unfortunately, you haven’t killed the brutes yet, so what can I help you with today?”

“This ends. Now.” You growled, lunging at her with the blade.

The fight wasn’t a pretty one. Having missed with the knife, you brought your elbow back into her nose, satisfied with the crunch that came with it. Lavina then grabbed your hair and slammed your head down into her knee. Your vision blurred and your head was spinning, giving her the chance to land a kick to your stomach. Grabbing your hair again, she yanked your head up to face her.

“I’m going to have so much fun dragging your sorry ass back to hell.”

You swung the blade again, this time cutting a large gash into her leg, making her cry out furiously. You swung a third time, catching her arm. When she looked at you again, her eyes were empty and black.

“Playtime’s over.” She spat, holding out her non-injured hand. You felt an invisible force push you back, pinning you against the wall. The angel blade clattered to the ground. “Did you really think you could come in here with that toothpick and defeat me?” She clenched her fist and that invisible force squeezed around your neck. “You’re going to make one hell of a demon.”

“I don’t think so, bitch.” The voice was both a relief and a new problem to deal with. Dean and Sam stood in the doorway, their own blades ready to attack. Dean stepped forward. “Let her go.”

“Oo, the Winchesters in the flesh. Aren’t I the lucky gal.” Lavina smirked, tightening her fist. You gasped for air, eyes blown wide with panic. “I don’t know if this is a good idea for you, Dean. Don’t you remember what happened last time you fought a demon with little old Y/N here?”

“There’s only one of you, now.” Sam jeered, stepping forward with his brother. Her smile widened.

“I guess you’re right, Sammy boy.” With an innocent shrug of her shoulders, she looked at you. “I’ll see you later, sweetheart.”

A black cloud roared out of the blonde’s mouth and her body slumped onto the floor. You fell to your knees, gasping for breath. Dean and Sam both rushed to your side, helping you sit back against the wall. While Sam kept a hand on your shoulder, waiting for your breathing to return to normal, Dean paced back and forth in front of you, his feet stomping furiously.

“Dean-” You started, your voice raspy and weak.

“I said we’d go after her together and you decide to climb out of a window!” He screamed. “You know, if Sam and I thought you were still in the shower, you’d be Lavina’s bitch all over again. Or did you even think about that before marching in here alone?”

“I just… wanted… this to be… over.” You coughed, trying to stand up, but Sam kept you on the floor.

“Yeah, well it isn't over now, is it? Lavina is still out there, probably possessing some other poor girl as we speak.”

“I’m sorry.” You looked up at him with tears of shame in your eyes. “I thought I could face her, Dean. I was wrong.” Your gaze fell to the floor, cheeks burning with both embarrassment and the hot tears threatening to spill over. “I’m not strong enough. I’m not the hunter that I used to be. I didn’t want to believe it until now, but I don’t have any fight left.”

Sam gave you a sympathetic look, but Dean just looked angrier.

“Alright, that, right there, is crap.” He knelt down in front of you, eyes blazing with both determination and devotion. “If there is one thing that you’ve shown this past week is that everything you have been through has only made you stronger. You made it through hell without breaking. You have shouldered so much and kept going. Never think that you don’t have any more fight in you, because the fight is all we’ve got. And if you need someone to take that on for you, then dammit Y/N, I will take it on. But fighting on your own doesn’t prove anything. You are still the badass woman I fell in love with and nothing is going to change that.”

He held his hand out in front of you and you took it. He pulled you up and wrapped his arms around you.

“Nothing is going to change that.” He repeated, running a hand up and down your back. You pulled back and gave the two Winchesters a small smile.

“Alright boys.” You straightened up with a new sense of power. With the Winchesters by your side, you were invincible. “We’ve got work to do.”

In a small, quiet town not too far from you and the Winchesters happy little moment, a young waitress was closing up for the night. Just as she turned the key, something dark filled her reflection. It was the last thing she saw.

Content with her new look, Lavina examined the pretty young thing in the window. She usually preferred blondes, but that was nothing a little bleach couldn’t fix. The uniform would also have to be ditched, but all in all, she would do very nicely.

She let out a frustrated cry and shattered the glass with her fist, enjoying the pattern the blood left on the pavement. Those damn Winchesters. They never learned how to stop meddling. No matter. Those boys weren’t the only ones who could hold a grudge. Her fight to avenge her family was far from over.

General Tag: @rae-gar-targaryen; @takemepedropascal; @childhood-imagination; @mylovegoesto; @yellowbadgergirl; @itmejado; @suckmyapplejacks; @kendahl0216

Supernatural: @desimarie12; @deandreamernp; @vicmc624; @halesandy; @livshaes; @d-whinchestergirl87; @mrspeacem1nusone; @crist1216

The Deal Series: @writeroutoftime; @ minninugget; @mia-ono; @erule; @ dannyo000

#the deal #dean winchester x reader #sam winchester #supernatural imagine #lucifer #supernatural #dean winchester #jensen ackles #jared padelecki #season two finale #bad company #to be continued

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mandysxmuses · 6 years

Note

go off about DDLC

//Okayokayokay gonna put all this under a cut bc I’m gonna totally spill everything out just – just everything I can on the fly (and I’m also not gonna tag it under the game’s tag bc I am a scared muffin who fears someone will disagree with my thoughts and I don’t want to be labeled as a mental-illness-is-automatically-horror douchebag ;;;;; )

GREAT GAME GREAT GAME LET’S JUST GET THAT OUTTA THE WAY I LOVE IT (and again if you don’t that is fine your opinion is valid and I’m not tryna change anyone’s mind, I just have a different view of one of the main criticisms and I’m not trying to change your mind on that either)

I should state that I love anything cute that turns creepy. That’s just… it’s my shit. Cute stuff that goes off the wire and turns totally horrific is absolutely my thing

Or even otherwise innocent stuff slowly going horror (Unlimited Footage of a Bear - a anti-depressant booster commercial going haywire, Too Many Cooks - an 80′s.. no, parody of pretty much every show type ever going haywire, Tea Time - tea time with a granny going haywire )

So uh when I heard from my friendos that I should play this game called Doki Doki Literature Club

And it was already sounding like my thing my thing because I love anime waifus n shit

When I saw the first tag being “psychological horror” I was both like “Why?” and [Bluebeard Voice] “SHIT YES”

I was one of the ones who got to play it before there were let’s plays all over Youtube and even if there would’ve been at the time I didn’t look that shit up because I wanted the full TAKE MY BODY AND SHAKE IT experience

And I saw the anxiety and depression warning at the beginning and was like “Oh. I have both of those. … Eh” and played anyway

MY BIGGEST BUT ALSO MOST AWESOME MISTAKE (besides that fucking soda spill last night omg I don’t even think I told you guys the whole story but oh my god Sayo-nara might as well have been playing during that shit)

I, uh;; haha, disliked Sayori toward the beginning of the game. Not that i found her annoying or anything, it’s just the “ditsy childhood friend” trope was always one of my least favorite tropes so I kinda just found her meh. She was cute though (hahahahahaHAHAHA and you know what I’m pissed that this sweetheart who went through such a deep-ass development in such a short time has basically been reduced to nothing but a hanging joke

Like we get it. She hung herself and we joke about to deal with the pain bUT THERE WAS SO MUCH MORE TO SAYORI THAN THAT PLS STOP REDUCING HER TO THAT ONE POINT IN THE GAME C’MOOOON)

And perhaps this was a spoiler but I did not recognize it as one but one of said friends who recommended it to me told me to wait for Sayori to start acting off.

… My initial assumption with this game was that it was going to be one of those generic “ALL THE GIRLS WANNA MURDER EACH OTHER AND THEN YOU” things bc that shit happens all the time in anime but that’s not to say I wouldn’t love it anyway. Generic doesn’t mean bad ANYWHO I’ll stop getting off topic

Met Yuri. I liked her, but did not and do not think she was best girl, I just felt her personality was most like mine. Because I am shy af when I first meet people and feel like I have to walk on eggshells even around people I’m comfortable with (cough cough my fam) to make sure I don’t “fuck up” when really most of my fuck-ups consist of accidentally not hearing something or just putting on a song I like on the radio and then everyone else hates it and I’m like “oh.. I suck”

and then I get “Quit it with that pity-partying bullshit” (PSA: Don’t say that to someone like Yuri especially, that will not help her, in fact don’t say that to anyone unless they’re really tough and can handle that kind of .. uh.. advice??? )

Met Natsuki.

… LOVE HER lOVE HER SO MUCH I WOULD DIE FOR NATSUKI I WOULD DIE

because I love tsunderes. That’s.. that’s literally it. The moment I saw her saying she didn’t make the cupcakes for me or anything, I knew true love was meant to be between us. She would be my route, and if that route ended with her trapping me in a basement and forcefeeding me poisonous cupcakes until I died and a graphic image of my internal organs exploding showed, that would be just fine. Love is an open door with a tsundere behind it, bitches.

Met Monika. Liked her. … That’s it, I just found her nice. Before the poem game, I had already decided Natsuki was the one true best girl and I was not doing Monika’s route until another playthrough (I assumed maybe her route was special and it unlocked after you beat the game once at the time). Hahahahahaha HELP

… aND THEN THE POEM GAME CAME.

And I immediately noticed Monika wasn’t even there to be “seduced” by my sexy words. I asked why this was, and I just got “that’s the question you should be asking”

…………………………………..

immediate suspicion of Monika, slight fear of the other girls as well.

The rest of the game goes by pretty smoothly for me though. I keep gradually finding Natsuki adorable as fuckin’ shit. The more I see her, the more I picture her in a bridal costume with me skipping down the aisle – well, her more grumpily walking and saying it’s not like she WANTED to be there marrying me or anything.

And then Sayori got sad.

… Really sad.

Like, suffering from depression.

I didn’t even have to wait for her confession or anything, I could tell by the way this was going that it wasn’t sadness, it was depression.

And I was like “oh, fuck.”

And then our dumbass protagonist WAITS A WHOLE DAY to visit her and she finally explains to her that she has depression and the way she describes it? To me? Is the most fucking heartbreaking thing in the whole game, especially coming from someone who has depression herself. Everything she said was, to me at least, 10000000% accurate and it hurt. It hurt in a very personal way. I’m not afraid to say I cried.

… I’m not afraid to say I still cry when that confession part comes up in other people’s playthroughs. It’s that poignant and truthful and painful to me.

And I was like “OH FUCK. I CAME HERE TO BE TORTURED WITH FEAR, NOT SADNESS. THIS IS GETTING REAL RIGHT HERE. THIS ISN’T RANDOMLY MURDEROUS FEMALES WANTING MY ASS LIKE I EXPECTED”

Also I baked with Natsuki, which was cute as shit, but I was also pissed as shit that the protagonist, who just realized his friend is suffering from an agonizingly painful mental illness, JUST CASUALLY THREW THAT SHIT UNDER THE RUG BECAUSE HEY. NATSUKI’S AT MY HOUSE DOKI DOKI DESU~~~~~

“Is it really okay for me to stop thinking about Sayori when she might need me?” NO. EVEN IF YOU DO THIS WITH NATSUKI, YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT SAYORI AT LEAST IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND BECAUSE SHE’S STILL IMPORTANT, YOU LUSTFUL JACKASS.

ahem

And then me and Natsuki were about to kiss and Bluebeard throws me another SHIT YES for support

And then SURPRISE SAYORI and Bluebeard goes SHIT NO and stays there while Natsuki runs away

And Sayori goes on more about her emotions because not only does she have depression, but she likes MC for whatever asinine reason and fears that she might feel something different for him than he does for her

Which, again, is a very real fear any person can have that can be greatly intensified by things like depression or anxiety

And the game gave me two options:

“You’ll always be my dearest friend.”

“I love you.”

… Meanwhile, Bluebeard is nudging the dumbass MC’s leg and saying, “Help her seek help and find a therapist. Say you know it’s hard, Can-Opener, but – is that really not going to be an option? Is this bastard that dumb? … Can I bite?”

That said, I chose “You’ll always be my dearest friend” because, imo, saying you experience romantic and sexual feelings toward a person when you honestly don’t just because they’re depressed will only hurt them even more when they inevitably find out the truth and your relationship flops.

Turns out either option would have ended in the same thing – which, also in my opinion, is fine. When you’re a person like MC (not asininely stupid, but you just don’t know about depression), you might not know what to say or how to help and these things can end in the worst. It happens all the time.

That’s why, the way I see it, Sayori’s suicide scene was one of the most poignant, well-executed, horrific, and upsetting things I have ever seen in a horror game.

I know people say it was just for shock value, but I – I honestly have to disagree. When you’re depressed, and I don’t care how clumsy you are, hanging might be the option you go with when you become crisis-level suicidal. And knowing that Sayori has struggled with this her entire life – knowing the context of the situation – I can’t say it was just for shock. You’re damn right it WAS shocking, but it wasn’t just for shock value.

And the whole “mental illness is horror” thing – I think this is one of the most well executed examples of it. Because whether people like it or not, mental illness can be horrific because it drives innocent people like Sayori to hate themselves completely and to do these things to themselves. It’s taking something very real, something that could potentially happen and has happened – and throwing it right in your face. The trope isn’t bad if the illness itself is treated with respect, and I think this is one of the instances where it was. It didn’t just scream “MENTAL HOSPITAL!! PATIENT!! TRIES TO KILL YOU!!!! BECAUSE THEY’RE A MENTAL HOSPITAL PATIENT!!!! ZOMG!!ONE2!!” It didn’t have Sayori hang herself straight from the get-go and leave you wondering “… why the fuck?”

Mental illness as horror can be done right. Because it can be a horrific thing. I think one of the many ways it can go wrong is that often times (unfortunately) mental illness as horror is treated in such a way that the person themselves is horrific. Not the illness they’re suffering from. They’re horrific because they’re mentally ill. That’s a no-no. But that’s not something I got from Sayori.

With Yuri in the 2nd act, on the other hand, I can kind of agree. The way she began ogling over the player way more than before, THOSE EYES, the.. the scent on the last Yuri poem – I feel that was a bit overdone, and also framing her to be a monster.

However, while this was intentional, someone in the game screwing with the actual game’s fabric of reality was behind it – and it was acknowledged as wrong because Monika herself was behind it and making Yuri act that way – which again, was acknowledged as wrong. Sorry I keep repeating that. Even if it came off a little “ehhh…”, something acknowledging that as wrong is 10000x better than just – once again – “THEY’RE MENTALLY ILL SO THEY’RE SCAAARY. AND THAT’S NOT A WRONG, STIGMATIZING, MAKING-MENTALLY-ILL-PEOPLE-LOOK-LIKE-MONSTERS PORTRAYAL OF SHIT. WE’RE NOT APOLOGIZING FOR SHIT. DEAL WITH IT. IT’S SCARY.”

Monika as the antagonist was very well-done. I had no clue about it from the beginning, even though I felt something was off after the first poem game, and I didn’t reeeeally start suspecting her of shit until Sayori said the “Monika was right, I should just–” line

Holy shit

That’s an antagonist right there, and a fucked up one

So uh yeah. Doki Doki Literature Club.

9/10.

Not enough Natsuki.

#ooc #randathecartoonpanda #tw suicide

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