#it has the kind of plot i hate where you retread the same plot point repeatedly while making progress elsewhere

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

reading dungeon meshi

[yoghurtsgirl]

Obviously no disrespect to OP and prev, but I wouldn’t even say it was a retread, as they’re doing two different things with the same core concept of “space alien who happens to be a penis and will eat you”. Romulus is far more a haunted house runaround than Alien, while serving as a continuation of plot threads left hanging from the Prometheus films. It stars a cast of young adults in over their heads, looking for an out from the capitalist hellscape they live in

Prometheus made such a big point to draw from the myths of Prometheus, how he took fire from the Gods and was punished for it. Drawing a parallel between that and man’s hubris and transgression for touching the stars, for infecting the universe with our sins and wants and desires. Our evils, our innate cruelty, even if it’s cruelty we’ve learnt from our Gods. And here we see a group of kids, desperate to survive, looking for any way out. They’ve been beaten down by their Gods their whole lives, forced to do their bidding so they can turn a profit. So they plan to steal technology that contains a hidden truth of man, something beyond our understanding. Something with no rational. A lit flame sent by the Gods. The punishment for that transgression has become so much more personal and relatable, and it really makes you hope the characters can make it out alive. Where they can beat God at his own game. It’s so fucking cool and such good theming while expanding on everything that’s come before??

Something that I really really admire about Alien is that while it essentially acts as a slasher film but in space, the principle cast are a good bit older than what you'd see in those kinds of films. It's not a bunch of teens and young adults fucking about and getting into trouble, they're professionals who should know what they're doing but are so out of their depth. Here, these are teens and young adults, and the reason why that works so well is because we've had six other Alien films where we see an older cast become less and less interesting. Returning to the slasher routes and showcasing the fucked up capitalist hellscape through the eyes of these young adults, allowing us to see what state the universe is in from a completely new perspective, is genuinely genius. We grow to love these meddling kids, and love to hate the ones we're certainly meant to

Romulus acts as a sandbox exploration of all things Alien. It cherry-picks the best bits and pieces to play with, all neatly tying the lore up in a lil bow and allowing this to be its perfect own lil thing. Even down to the Offspring being reminiscent of the Newborn hybrid creature from Alien 4, but being its own spin on it with it having the DNA from the Engineers in the mix too. The found family teen nature of it; the haunted house in space vibes; the allegories of Romulus and Remus and how their disagreements about the lives of others under their protection needed to be solved by the Gods and how one would die for his belief - and how Rain refuses to kill Andy even after his AI becomes corrupted and allows for the harm of their friends

It’s kinda the same deal as when people say The Force Awakens is the same movie as A New Hope when thematically, character wise, and purpose behind it are so different and it’s important to acknowledge the differences when discussing them through an analytical lens. I definitely see why people may call it a retread in parts and I do prefer Alien, but Romulus is so 100% my cup of tea and I so so so wish future Alien properties are this well thought out and crafted, because when we’ve seen the dregs of this franchise (Alien 3, 4, and AVP Requiem) and squandered of great ideas (AVP, Prometheus, and Covenant), we badly needed this third good Alien movie <3

was alien romulus a retread of the first movie except with more explicit pregnancy/body horror yes. did it absolutely rip grossnasty style. yes

[opbackgrounds]

So I read the Ace Novel (Part 2)

I’m going to be level with you, if I hadn’t said I was going to do a write up for the novel, I don’t think I would have finished this one. The first fifty or so pages are terribly boring, and while it picks up considerably toward the end, I don’t think I can recommend it, for one reason and one reason only:

It reads like a freaking wikipedia article. And I hate it. 

I described Part 1 of the Ace novel like three separate one shots with the barest hint of continuity between them. That’s not the case this time around, as most of what it covers are events mentioned in the manga: The fight with Jinbe, Ace’s 100 battles with Whitebeard, Ace formally joining the Whitebeard Pirates. Comparatively speaking, that’s a lot of canon material to get through. Consequently, it’s also quite a bit longer than Part 1, about 200 pages. 

(some of those pages happen to be longer than others)

(yes this made me literally laugh out loud)

The problem is there is a metic ton of manga recap that has nothing to do with this novel, especially in chapters 1 and 2. This was baffling to me, as it seems unlikely that someone would pick up a One Piece magazine (where the novel was originally published) or a One Piece side story without bing familiar with the manga. Yet concepts like the Four Emperors, Celestial Dragons, and even the Grand Line were laid out in meticulous detail.

I am going to be unfair for a moment and compare the Ace novels to my favorite spin-off series of all time, the Kyoshi duology that takes place in the Avatar universe. 

Unlike the Ace novels, they take place several centuries before the main series, so there aren’t a lot of plot details that overlap with the animated series in the way the Ace novels do to the main manga. What is in common, however, isn’t repeated. Nowhere in the two Kyoshi books does she learn the story about Avatar Wan or any of the same lore details that are important to Aang and Korra’s stories. Instead it expands on the world building details laid out in the main series and deepens them. 

For example, do you want to know how the Fire Nation royalty got so good at lightning bending, or how the greater Earth Kingdom political landscape works? Read book 1. Do you want to know how the Fire Nation went from a fractured clan system to a strong centralized government or how advanced water bending healing techniques work? Read book 2. It’s exposition that fleshes out the system already in place, rather than retreading what’s already been established. 

Part 2 of the Ace novel does this a little bit when it develops the Pirate Code, something that has never mentioned in the manga, and even if it was Luffy’s not the sort of character that’s going to care to adhere to it. The strongest portion of the novel shows Ace going out on a mission on Whitebeard’s behalf, showing some of what it’s like to maintain the vast territories that he keeps under his flag.

But mostly...mostly it’s just recap. Literally the entire Fishman Island backstory is written out in some of the blandest narration I’ve ever read, paragraphs upon paragraphs talking about Queen Otohime and Fisher Tiger and the civil unrest of the Ryugu Kingdom, including but not limited to Vander Decken stalking Shirahoshi and her subsequent imprisonment in the royal tower. 

There’s also the wholesale recycling of gags straight from the manga that 1) don’t necessarily work as well in written format, and 2) show no originality or creativity on the part of the author. In my opinion, recurring gags are funniest when a writer can contrive different variations and circumstances around the base joke. Instead we get scenes like this beat-for-beat copy of Ace’s narcolepsy gag in Alabasta, down to using the waitress’s skirt as a napkin

I noticed in Part 1 that the author had snuck some canon elements in, such as Deuce and Ace building Striker—the one man, fire-powered boat he showed off in Alabasta—when I personally didn’t think either of them were smart enough to think up, let alone construct, anything that sophisticated. I didn’t mention it in my previous write up because there are a lot of fans that enjoy those kind of Easter eggs, and it’s a novel that runs on manga logic so it’s not exactly breaking my suspension of disbelief either. It was a minor quibble that didn’t really detract from my overall enjoyment. 

But the story of Fishman Island is at best tangentially related to the events of the novel. The only reason Fishman Island is important at all is because Ace decides to burn down Whitebeard’s flag on his way into the New World. 

Which brings me to perhaps the most interesting aspect of the novel: Ace himself. 

Even in the manga, you can make the case that there are two Aces, the happy-go-lucky, cool, and mysterious older brother of Luffy seen at Alabasta/post-Enies Lobby, and the angsty, existentially depressed young man with daddy issues that shows up during Impel Down/Marineford. 

The novel leans much closer to the latter. More than I expected it to. The Ace of Part 2 is hotheaded and a bit of a jackass. Whereas Luffy tends to go after people he has a personal beef with, Ace specifically targets Whitebeard because he was the closest to Roger, and he thinks that defeating Whitebeard will somehow bring him fame greater than his father. He ignores the concerns of his crew and the repeated warnings about how Emperors control vast armies...because of daddy issues. The novel goes out of his way that Ace’s dreams made him better suited to be a Revolutionary than a pirate, and it’s only because of his childhood promise that he became a pirate at all. It wasn’t something born out of true conviction or desire.

Laying it out like that, it might seem like this is a negative, but to me it’s one of the most interesting things the novel has to offer. I thought Part 1 worked best when it acted as a character study for Deuce, Ace, and the marine girl whose name I have already forgotten, focusing on how Ace brought together degenerates unwanted by even other degenerates. The same is true here: Once the exposition dumps are over and the focus returns to the titular character, the author is able to dig a little bit deeper into into Ace’s psyche, and he takes it in a direction I didn’t expect, but was consistent with his manga portrayal. 

I just wish I could have seen a little bit more of it. 

And speaking of characters I wish I had seen more of, after focusing so much on Deuce and Marine Girl in Part 1, they have a much reduced role in Part 2. In fact, Marine Girl isn’t seen or mentioned even once, which I thought was kind of strange. I guess I don’t see the point in putting so much effort was put into her only for her to be thrown away without even a cameo. Likewise, after spending Part 1 as the principal POV character, Deuce is set aside for Thatch and Teach. Whether that’s a good or bad thing will depend largely on how much you enjoy those individual characters. 

I don’t say this often, but these are books that can be judged by their covers. Part 1, Ace is more jovial—the burning flame that attracts others to his greatness—while introducing two major new characters to his journey. Part 2, Ace is grim and angry—the dark, smoldering flame burning with the desire to destroy the system that would have killed him for being the wrong man’s son—while focusing much more on the Whitebeard Pirates and what makes them great. 

It’s an interesting contrast, the two sides of Ace’s character as seen in the manga given a little bit of limelight. But damn if it wasn’t tedious to get through. 

[phoukanamedpookie]

Notes for an Azula transformation arc: starting over

Aaaargh I hate this!

I think I wrote myself into a corner with my notes for an Azula transformation arc. Not that I hate it, but it’s going in a direction that’s not really exciting for me.

So, I’m gonna start over. I’m not going to delete anything. There’s a lot I still like about what I came up with. If someone wants to take that as a prompt and run with it, be my guest, just give me credit.

Part of my problem is that I went into it without a firm idea of what I wanted to accomplish, nor did I sit down and think about what I thought it was important to convey and include in Azula’s next story arc.

Time to fix that now.

Here are some guiding principles for my new and improved Azula transformation arc.

1. I will not retread Zuko’s character arc.

I know that a lot of people believe that Zuko has the "perfect” redemption arc and that every other character's should mirror his. I disagree with that. 

Zuko is a specific character from a specific context in a specific narrative. His arc is not a template or Platonic ideal for all others to measure up to. At best, trying to recreate Zuko’s story arc is a good way to get a bunch of cookie cutter narratives. At worst, you just wind up with a bunch of knockoffs that lessen the impact of the original.

Azula is such a rich, complex, layered character. She deserves a character arc that will let her shine on her own, not walk in Zuko’s shadow. She deserves to be the unquestioned protagonist of her own story. 

Not to mention, female characters deserve stories where they are important because of who they are, not because of a guy.

2. I will prioritize bonds and relationships between female characters.

ATLA does a lot right with female characters, but it still has a distinct lack of living adult women who matter to the story. There’s a lot of dead and missing moms. There’s a shortage of female mentors. There aren’t many women in leadership positions.

Azula’s transformation arc will feature a lot of women protecting women and girls, women teaching women and girls, women helping women and girls, women loving women, girls liking girls. 

That’s not to say that all the female characters will get along, or that there won’t be female antagonists to give Azula a run for her money. However, the conflicts between female characters won’t be the usual catty nonsense. And they certainly won’t fight over the affections of some dude.

The women in this story must do more than marry or give birth to a male character and disappear.

3. I will embrace moral complexity.

Azula is too complex a character for a simple good versus evil plot. The narrative should ask more complex questions than, “Will Azula become a good person?”

In a way, that’s kind of beside the point. The point of the story is growth, change, and healing. For this story, Azula changing for the better does not mean becoming more like Zuko, Iroh, Ursa, or Katara. It’s Azula truly coming into her own as the most authentic version of herself. At the conclusion of her arc, Azula might be less “evil” but more dangerous and terrifying.

The narrative should reject puritanical morality. No character is a saint or a complete monster. No character is exactly what they seem. This is not to reject the value of striving to do the right thing or to improve oneself, just complicate things by making them not so clear-cut.

4. I will honor the spiritual.

Spirituality infuses every aspect of ATLA’s worldbuilding, from the bending arts to the Spirit World and its denizens to the psyches of the characters. 

This is a world where spirits, chi, chakras, and lion-turtles are tangible realities. This is a world the effects of severe brainwashing are eased through the healing aspect of waterbending, where inner turmoil manifest as fever dreams, where opening chakras overcomes massive amounts of personal trauma, where a trip to the Spirit World helps a father learn to live with the death of his son.

Azula’s transformation needs to be rooted in that same spirituality. It’s not going to look like Western therapy, and it shouldn’t.

5. I will base the narrative on The Odyssey.

This is just me having fun.

ATLA does a lot of interesting things with the worldbuilding and the aesthetic, but the narrative structure is standard Hero’s Journey stuff. I have issues with Campbell’s monomyth, but that’s for another post. However, ATLA executes that narrative very well.

The Odyssey is something of an ur-text of Western storytelling. Borrowing the structure of that text and placing it in the Avatarverse is very apt because of the strong parallels between Azula and Odysseus. They’re both very clever. They both infiltrate an impenetrable city through the use of deception. They’re savvy, devious, and clever, and they pride themselves on it. And that pride gets them in hot water with forces beyond their control.

Of course, Azula’s a different character, and the circumstances surrounding why she can’t return home would be different. However, like Odysseus, the bulk of her story will be her trying to find or earn her way back home.

[danwhobrowses]

Why ‘The Karate Kid Part II’ Deserves More Respect

So guess what film I finished watching today? Of course, the Karate Kid franchise is considered iconic mainly for its first entry; Wax on Wax off, Skeleton fights, Sweep the Leg and the Crane Kick all cemented its legacy that allowed Cobra Kai to also be such a success. But imagine my shock when the approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes for Part II is 45% - 21% lower than the Jaden Smith ‘The Karate Kung Fu Kid’ version (and Part III is scored 15%, which is also super harsh but hard to debate outside of the magnificence of Terry Silver). Originally this was just gonna be a general post of how much I enjoyed retreading Part II, but upon seeing that score I had to give it my ‘Deserves More Respect’ posts.

It is an off-chance, but if you haven’t watched this film there will be spoilers within, I encourage you to watch it before reading, and maybe watch it again if you have so it’s fresh in the mind

Let’s start with a controversial point shall we? There are several parts where Part II is actually better than the original. Now I know! There’s a lot about the original which is iconic, but nostalgia does blind you to other shortcomings and while it’s easy to sell the first part because of its mystique, a sequel has the added pressure of rising above and developing on old and new themes set by the predecessor. The Premise In case you decided against refreshing your memory. Karate Kid Part II starts with a recap of Part I, a bit of content that was meant to be Part I’s final scene (in the script, not for filming) and then a timeskip. Ali with an i is gone - brutally dumping Daniel for some Football Player before Senior Prom and after crashing his car, Daniel’s mother is in Fresno for work and Miyagi has received a letter from his home Okinawa in news of his father’s fading health. The stage is set for Daniel and the audience to learn more about the iconic Mr. Miyagi and the life he left behind. Okay, so there is bad in this film Part II deserves respect, but it’s not perfect. It definitely gets messy near the end with Daniel’s antagonist Chozen, he mainly took beats from Johnny Lawrence in physically confronting Daniel when he could with a bunch of no-named goons and he fought pretty similarly to Johnny in catch counters and leg strikes. The opening recap did take a lot of time too, while the ending remained somewhat abrupt having just beaten up Chozen to embrace Kumiko (who had a delayed recovery after being punched once). While not bad, a fair amount of retreaded content felt like downgrades of the original; Chozen and Sato lacked the charisma of Johnny and Kreese, the crane kick was far more impressive than the drum technique and the Tournament setting was grander than the O-Bon festival. But, there are Iconic Moments in this film too Part I may have the Crane Kick and the Skeletons and the Training and Sweep the Leg. But people may forget that Part II had awesome moments too.

Like Daniel chopping through 6 Sheets of Ice! If that isn’t one hell of a power play I don’t know what is. It is a moment genuinely impressive in and outside of the 80s cheese universe of Karate Kid, and it gets referenced in Season 2 of Cobra Kai.

Also referenced in Season 2 is Miyagi vs Kreese. While this is the intended ending for Part I, it certainly acted better at the start of Part II, especially given that is foreshadows the situation Daniel finds himself in at the end of the movie. This moment is equally iconic as it completely encapsulates the character of both senseis - Kreese the confident brute brought to a sniveling mouse when size and power failed him and Miyagi the cool-headed and vastly more intelligent fighter still with the cheeky prankster lightness to him as he honks the scared shitless Kreese on the nose. Perfect.

While I did want to cite the Tea Ceremony as well I think the more iconic moment for Part II had to be Miyagi chopping the log during the storm. The storm itself is a very well-done scene which unmasks several characters in the face of adversity. True tension, worry and stakes are sold as the village are in danger of the cruel whims of nature, an act which is all too real for Sato when the house he’s in collapses on him in the calm before his scheduled deathmatch with Miyagi. Not only is this again some great foreshadowing by the rule of three (Daniel asking if Miyagi can chop a log like Sato is doing with a banner and then Miyagi and Sato meeting and seeing Sato fail to chop a log) it proves a pivotal point where Sato turns from aggrieved antagonist to repenting ally. A great show of power and friendship as Miyagi metaphorically breaks the rift between their friendship that weighs Sato down. Okay, we hear you, but how is it better? I do have to preface that I do still love Part I, I have to because in pointing out where Part II is better I have to pick at Part I’s faults. While the ending is messy Part II definitely has much better pacing, until the skeletons scene Part I doesn’t really pick up because it has to set up, Part II while it does recap doesn’t need to worry about it. Giving Miyagi the main plot was definitely Part II’s strongest suit. Part I profited from Miyagi being the ‘mysterious old teacher’ but learning a lot more about his humanity and history was engrossing and it allowed positive development for Miyagi and Daniel, especially their bond as a surrogate father and son when Daniel personally goes out of his way to support Miyagi on a very personal matter. The main characters maintain their charm as well, still a lovely array of life lessons in Part II more than just finding balance, Miyagi teaches Daniel through words and action on taking time to breathe, to refocus when imbalanced, to forgive rather than to harbour hate, mercy, selflessness and humbleness

“never put passion before principle. Even if win, you lose.” - Mr. Miyagi

The scenes involving Miyagi and his father were some of the most deep and emotive of the series up until Cobra Kai, some still haven’t been topped such as Miyagi’s dad’s first words to his son or when Daniel talked about when his father died.  And say what you will about Chozen, he does have a lot of Johnny vibes but a lot of the character we believed was Johnny due to nostalgia goggles was more fitting of Chozen’s manner. The story did a great job in making sure Chozen was always an asshole, at times Johnny did at least display honour and grace but Chozen was always sore about stuff and quick to claim dishonour even when he was in the wrong. Contrary to Johnny it’s more about his family than it is about a girl, which allowed a lot more freedom in the plot. Whether you felt Elizabeth Shue’s Ali with an i was prettier than Tamlyn Tomita’s Kumiko is up to personal preference, but the messy-haired Kumiko definitely had a slightly improved presence in Part II than Ali did, with actual focus on her own feelings outside of attraction to Daniel, her ambition to become a dancer directly linking to the O-Bon Festival - which in turn related to the Drum technique - as well as the delicately beautiful Tea Ceremony scene and actually contributing to the final fight (granted Ali wouldn’t be allowed to). Also Daniel didn’t try to eat her face which is a general improvement to the romantic subplot, extra applause has to go to Tomita here too because this was legitimately her first role - Shue had her second so that’s impressive too - and both women had good careers going forward. The increased stakes definitely worked in the favour of Part II as well, as sequel culture is forced to do, but by moving to Okinawa (actually filmed in Hawaii) we opened the door to better suit Miyagi’s world while keeping Daniel the fish out of water. I can’t speak too much for appropriation because there is still kinda some ‘white saviour’ undertones but I didn’t feel like Japan was treated negatively in this light, its culture of the O-Bon Festival and the Tea Ceremony was treated with the utmost respect and explained without pandering, the flute music had definitely stepped up its game for the soundtrack as did the imagery. Can also appreciate that Daniel does go for the Crane kick when fighting Chozen but is parried. Added hat tip has to go to costuming too. A lot of costumes would have to have distinct Kamon such as Sato’s twin fish and Miyagi’s bonsai on a lot of their clothing

Between Sato and Miyagi the colours of their clothes often code their emotions towards each other, with Sato usually in grey and Miyagi in white or cream, when Sato and Miyagi prepare for death they are in black and when Sato wants forgiveness he moves to a lighter shade. While Part I also used black and white to differ Johnny and Daniel, Part II put Chozen and Daniel in the more Japanese-themed Red and Blue. While both men wear red, blue and whites at time, Chozen’s clothes almost devolve from the white he debuts in as his darker side comes out before flat out embracing yellow after his chance to prove his honour in the storm is refused (and he’s in white then), while Daniel often moves to Red or red tones even in his blue shirt. Kumiko also moves from white to blue, sometimes even purple, in set up to the final fight to have the primary colours stand out in the colourful crowd of the O-Bon festival, but even in the blue Kumiko had red to pair her connection with Daniel. Also her Yukata at the festival is just stunning, the Great Wave off Kanagawa print is a nice touch.

Anything else we should know? It might not be much else about the film itself I can tell you, but I do appreciate something I’m starting to call ‘The Rocky Connection’ when it comes to Karate Kid. Like Part I’s ‘You’re the Best (Around)’ was shortlisted for Rocky III, Part II’s song ‘Glory of Love’ was shortlisted for Rocky IV’s theme, losing to ‘Hearts on Fire’, Bill Conti also chose to score this film instead of Rocky IV. I like to pair this with Daniel’s Rocky-esque character, he has that same kind of swagger but a lot more naive and childlike. Martin Kove also gets a nod because those bleeding hands were legit, he had an accident on-set and the footage was kept for the final cut. Tamlyn Tomita wasn’t the only film debut for Part II, B.D. Wong of...well, several famous roles including but not limited to Shang in the animated Mulan, Dr. Wu in the Jurassic Park franchise, Hugo Strange in Gotham and many more, also had his debut here in a minor speaking role when he’s handing out flyers for the dance party to Kumiko and Daniel before the Ice Chopping Scene. So, why does it deserve respect A film that adds to a beloved character in a respectful fashion without having really any god awful moments does not deserve a 4.5/10 rating. It may not have as emphatic an ending or as great a villain but it has a captivating plot and a good pace, better stakes and much more emotionally driven and responsive scenes. A lot of effort and dedication went into this film to explore new dimensions of the main characters in a fashion which was enjoyable and at times heartwarming. And characters are given human moments, even Miyagi confesses himself not to be perfect and it keeps each character grounded. Even to this day parts of Part II are remembered fondly rather than the campness that Part III had outside of Terry Silver and his magnificent ponytail, the fondness also continues to reflect in Cobra Kai with homages and fan theories of Daniel going to Okinawa again and even re-encountering Chozen. Not to mention it grossed $113m on a $13m budget and got nominated for a Best Original Song Oscar (losing to Top Gun) Part II was a good and enjoyable film which deserves far more credit than to be rated this low, for that it deserves respect.

[gffa]

Scattered Star Wars Thoughts: - I’m about two thirds of the way through Empire’s End and I’m once again sad that we haven’t gotten anything like this in awhile--stuff happens in these books, the huge, big, galactic-level stuff happens!  The Battle of Jakku!  Rae Sloane vs Gallius Rax!  The bombing of the New Republic ceremony!  Mon Mothma’s struggles to keep the New Republic afloat and her political enemies trying to take her down! Sure, I love the books for the ragtag team I came to know and love, it’s still one of the top tier groups of new characters, but it’s also that stuff happens in this book, I get a good, strong look at the events that shape the galaxy in this era.  I suspect (even though I have no proof) that SW deliberately moved away from this kind of thing, because they were filling up the space too quickly, there soon wasn’t going to be much room left for any kind of big events, between this and Bloodline, especially if they ever wanted to set a show or movie in that era. I sometimes half-wonder if we’re heading for another reboot after awhile, because they’ll want to free up some space or if we’re just going to get more “away from the main action” stories.  Which I wouldn’t mind, if they were more like Spark of the Resistance because that was one of my favorite books of recent times, where it didn’t have to have a big impact, it could be a cute space adventure, but it was about characters I desperately wanted to have more interaction with. I guess that’s what was missing from Alphabet Squadron for me, that the new character stuff was SO GOOD, but Hera’s role really could have been filled by anyone.  Empire’s End is giving us Han and Leia and Mon character moments, but a lot of them don’t have to be about the big galactic stuff, they can be little mini-adventures set between the bigger ones. On the other hand, the comics seem to be filling that niche more than the novels, and the comics are so good that I’m kind of fine with the priority seeming to be on them--even if I don’t think that’s intentional.  (Or maybe it’s just me vastly preferring the comics over the novels, it seems like that’s where the good stuff is happening, imo.) Anyway. Empire’s End.  I really do love this trilogy in a way that, looking back, is a lot sharper than a lot of what I’ve been feeling re: current SW.  I wish Wendig would get another crack at writing SW, whether for these characters or someone else.  And that the Bens would come back and write more, too.  I was skimming over their From a Certain Point of View story and thinking about Join the Resistance! and I MISS THOSE STORIES. - I am doing pretty good at keeping up with my rewatch getting finished before the new season of TCW happens, I’m down to 1.8 episodes per day to reach my goal!  :D Between that and the way I’ve been booking it through other stuff (it’s been so cold out lately that I don’t go out much, so I have more time to watch stuff) that I’m already a quarter of the way through my 2020 Resolutions list! - I just saw Ryan Bergara, Shane Madej, and Steven Lim launched Watcher and have a handful of videos up, so I’ll have those to watch, I also have a bunch of shows (Barry and Patriot mostly) waiting in the wings for when I finish with TCW, and of course more of The Untamed, and, well, THANK GOD SW IS QUIET RIGHT NOW, because it’s getting to be a bit Much.  In a good way, but still!  /wanted to grump - I finished the current season of Grace & Frankie and I really liked the first 3-4 episodes, I got a bunch of IRL LOLs out of them, but about halfway through the season it lost steam for me and the ending just felt weird, like, “Why are we going down this same path again?  What was the point of that sub-plot?” and it just felt unfocused to me. I feel like, by this point, we’re six seasons in, Grace and Frankie lying about stuff from each other feels very, very retread, especially when Grace and Nick have talked about this before, that sometimes she has to choose him, not just Frankie all the time, and this storyline sort of ended up in a place that seemed to contradict that, and it does help to view this through the lens of Grace still has decades of lying and secrets as routine to recover from, she’s going to backslide, and I’m down for that, but I feel like this just didn’t quite acknowledge that it was part of a pattern she’s still working on, rather than ignoring that it comes with context of stuff that’s already happened in the show. I’m also losing my patience with a lot of the romantic partners drama on the show, like, I think they’ve been on a slow drive towards Coyote/Mallory for awhile and I hate it, I really don’t get any kind of spark between Frankie and Jack, Joan-Margaret and the guy she picked to marry didn’t have enough of a spark to make that storyline all that fun, Principal Dan being weird by the end was just *SIGH* (all the more so because I want Mallory to be with someone who Is Not Coyote).  I do very much still love Barry/Brianna, I feel like the show does better at Brianna Is An Onion You Have To Peel Her Back In Layers, so going over similar ground makes sense.  And I actually enjoyed Coyote/Jessica, they’re adorable, but it’s hard to get invested when I don’t think it’ll last.  I actually really enjoy Bud/Allison and their mutual failboating conversation about their first times was delightful to watch.  But I also sort of feel like I’m getting exhausted on Robert/Sol, it didn’t feel like there was any idea what to do with them this season, so they just sort of threw a bunch of things at the wall to see what would stick.  Robert being like, “NO THIS IS A BAD IDEA” while Sol and Allison researched Bud’s family history was hilarious, MORE LIKE THAT, less of them keeping secrets from each other like that entire local theater storyline.  Or even Sol’s health thing, which brought out different approaches to quality vs length of life at their age, that was a much more interesting story. I guess I wouldn’t mind retreading the same ground quite so much, if it felt like they were aware of it being part of a bigger whole, rather than just doing the same thing again, or if it felt like it was going somewhere (I think this is why I liked the Brianna/Barry stuff, it feels like it’s going somewhere), but that doesn’t mean the cast isn’t still delightful and the show isn’t still an absolute delight.  It never feels flat or like they’re Flanderizing the characters, the human moments are still there and very genuine.  (Grace and the other young wives was one of my favorite moments of the season!  It was such a lovely, warm, human resolution.)  The cast still delivers everything beautifully and they’re retreading these stories for a reason--though, I can’t lie, I’m curious to see what the final season has, in the way of a shake-up of the usual dynamics, as well as some more permanent resolution, one assumes. It still remains one of my favorite shows whenever it comes back! Scattered Star Wars Thoughts/2020 Resolutions Update: - Star Wars: The Clone Wars s3e02-20 Current total:  41/260 Scattered Everything Else Thoughts/ 2020 Resolutions Update: - Watchmen s01e01-09 - Bob’s Burgers s10e11 - The Good Place s04e11 - Grace & Frankie s06e01-13 Current total:  86/260 Star Wars Fic Recs 2020 Resolutions Update Current total written:  81/520

[nellie-elizabeth]

Modern Family: Baby Steps (11x15)

There are only so many different ways I can discuss how this final season has felt stagnant and uninspired... but there was actually one good plot thread here, I suppose!

Cons:

I want to talk about Alex. Rarely have I felt like a main character on a television show has been so poorly utilized. Who even is Alex? In this episode, she goes back to her old college, encounters some protesters and her old professor Arvin, who make her realize that she's working for a big unethical company. So she decides to work for Arvin's research team instead, using her smarts for good instead of evil. Okay... what a nice little plot arc for Alex. Too bad it all happens in one episode. Did I know that Alex felt ethical qualms about her job before now? Did I know this was a dilemma for her? She also talks about her "glow up," about how going back to the school triumphant and successful will be a big moment for her. Is that something I knew she needed/wanted? Is she searching for validation? Alex's colleges years on the show were so strangely framed and never really properly set up, so...

Bottom line is, this is fine. Alex taking a job that will make her less money but will be helping the world seems like a great move for anyone to make. But I don't know this person. I haven't really gotten to know her as an adult.

Also, apparently Haley is back at work after having the babies - that feels like it could have been a big moment, but it's brushed past like it's no big deal. And another thing... I don't want to be That Person who brings the room down, but all the jokes about Haley's company and their alternative/holistic lifestyle stuff... it's supposed to be a parody of Gwyneth Paltrow's "goop" thing, and other similar ideas. We're all supposed to chuckle when Haley points out that none of the company's employees are actually scientists and yet they're selling things for people to put into their bodies. But the thing is? That shit is straight-up predatory. People paying money for pills and products that do nothing, or even actively harm? It's a serious issue! I just wanted to point that out, because there's really no nuance provided for the fact that Haley works for an evil company, even as Alex is taken to task for the same thing.

Claire's story-line is in some way like Alex's, in that it feels perfectly fine for this to be the next step for the character, but it's so shoe-horned, and so uninspired. Basically, she wants to work for a company that sells organizational products, but she gets her foot stuck in a broken stair, so Jay and Phil help to bring her bookcase over behind her so she can Skype and pretend to be in her office for her interview. From there it's just stupid slapstick. Jay is having an allergic reaction to a mushroom, so Claire has to keep making excuses for the bookcase moving, or for Jay sneezing... and then the whole thing falls apart, Claire is honest, and she gets the job. I don't know... does this just feel like a retread of the same story beats we've done for Claire over and over again? She's never going to be fulfilled staying at home, so she gets a job, she's high-powered but trying to balance work/life, she quits the job, now she's looking for a new one? Okay... cool, I guess. Also, we get jokes made at the expense of people with compulsive disorders. Thanks, I hate it.

Pros:

One thing I will say for Alex's story-line is that it was nice to see Arvin again. The whole bit where Arvin is just casually talking with Haley and Alex, and Haley seems to truly believe that Arvin is still hung up on her, was pretty hilarious. I also like how he was polite, and only joined in the protest to save face, but later when he was alone with Alex he admitted his real opinion about her life choices. That was a nice little re-direct.

While Claire's portion of the episode was mostly boring and also too silly for my taste, I did like the little hints of chaos in Claire's life. Dylan needing to get upstairs to the baby, and Luke continuing to fall down the stairs, only for everyone to shrug it off, relieved that it wasn't Dylan or Gloria or one of the babies... that did make me chuckle!

The big success story of this episode is Cam and Mitchell's plot thread. I'm still kind of miffed/frustrated that they apparently aren't going the route of having them move away at the end of the show, because that would have been an interesting status quo shift. But I will admit, this episode got me right in the feels. Everything that happens is predictable, but it's no less powerful for that. Basically, Cam and Mitchell struggle with the decision about adopting a baby boy. They hem and haw, and ultimately decide that if it were the right thing, the decision wouldn't be so challenging... but then the adoption agency calls, and when Mitchell answers to tell them no, they both look at each other and just... know what the right thing to do is. They're having a baby, and they're also buying a bigger house!

There were just a lot of moments I loved here. Cam and Mitchell lying in bed, talking about prose and cons... one of their "pros" was finding out for sure how much of Lily's personality is their fault, and how much is on her! And then speaking of, when they go to talk to Lily, she is immediately supportive, but then points out how old they will be if they have a baby now, by the time that baby is grown.

And then there's the way Gloria gets involved. They go to talk to her about it, since she has experience having a baby a bit later in life, but end up enamored with the house she's in the middle of showing. They start to imagine a future with this new house, and a new baby, and things start to spiral. Gloria is in the background, doing her sale's pitch. I thought that was a fantastic way to integrate Gloria's progress and character development. It's something I wish the show could pull off successfully more often.

So yeah - Cam and Mitchell deciding to adopt a new baby is about as emotionally manipulative as you can get, but I have allowed myself to be emotionally manipulated. While the moment of their big decision was a success in my eyes, the rest of this episode was pretty much a swing and a miss.

7/10

[moviewarfare]

A Review of Rurouni Kenshin Part 2: Kyoto Inferno

Due to the massive success of the first film, it is no surprise that it was going to get a sequel. However, it wasn’t just one sequel but a two parter sequel that was filmed back to back. I’m not a huge fan of part 1 films as they tend to drag but is this the case for “Kyoto Inferno”?  Director Keishi Ōtomo, Cinematographer Takuro Ishizaka, composer Naoki Satō and nearly the entire cast from the first film return for these sequels. so I’m going to try and avoid retreading all the praises I gave them from my review of the first film here: https://moviewarfare.tumblr.com/post/617387687371030528/a-review-of-rurouni-kenshin-part-1-origins-2012

The story is simple,  Kenshin reluctantly agrees to go to Kyoto to help stop Makoto Shishio and his warriors from overthrowing the new government.  Makoto Shishio (Tatsuya Fujiwara) has one of the most amazing villain introductions in a film ever. He is WAY more of a threat than any of the villains in the first film and genuinely seems like a good reason for Kenshin to return. In that fact I have to give lots of praise to Tatsuya for giving such a great performance in making this guy seem crazy and a threat. A majority of the new characters are great Sojiro Seta (Ryunosuke Kamiki) is creepy and the actor portrays this well and also manages to make his swordplay rival that of Himura in a believable way. Misao Makimachi (Tao Tsuchiya) is a lovable but badass ninja. Okina (Min Tanaka) is a badass old ninja man with wisdom and care. He even has a really cool badass fight scene and despite the actors age still puts the effort into the fight even if there are obvious cuts to a stuntman. There are so many new characters introduced but somehow the directors manages to cover all of them fairly well and evenly. The director manages this sudden huge cast without bombarding us the audience with a massive exposition and still make us care or hate these new characters. Aoshi Shinomori (Yūsuke Iseya) is the only character I have a slight problem with and its not because of the actor. Aoshi was meant to be in the first film and was meant to lose his friends in the battle against Himura Kenshin which is why he decides to hunt him down. Of course the director cut that out because he filmed the first one as a standalone film with no sequel plans. However, this creates a writing problem in this film as Aoshi is very important for future Rurouni Kenshin stories so cutting him out entirely was not an option. This means they change his backstory so that he lost his friends to a battle 10 years ago instead but he still wants to hunt Himura Kenshin because he wants to be the strongest or something. This makes his character less sympathetically and more just kind of crazy. He does a lot of cruel things for what is kind of a stupid reason in the film. The existing cast and characters continue to do a great job even Kaoru (Emi Takei) who I had issue with manages to get a couple good scenes in.  Megumi Takani (Yū Aoi) is the only existing character to sadly get pushed aside in this film but for the sake of the story, it makes sense.

One aspect this sequel does better is the pacing. In the first film there were parts that slowed the film down but in the sequel, it is one constant ride of thrill and excitement. Despite the film goes from an often unrelated plot to another, the plot points are all interesting enough to keep you invested. The score is more or less the same with one major new soundtrack, Makoto Shishio theme “Unmei - Meikai No Kodou“  which is so amazing and fitting for his character. Another aspect of the sequel that is better is the fight scenes. The fights in this movie make the ones in the first movie feel like baby toys. Not only are there more different and unique type of fights but they also have all the amazing practical and complex choreography style of fighting. The stunt coordinator manages to make it somehow more exciting and still make every characters style of fighting unique from each other which makes for more cooler fights. My favorites fights are the one where Himura fights a dozen men cause of how fast pace it is yet it is still very clear which is also down to the set and costume department as it allows for the lead character to still be visible in the crowd. The Kyoto fight is also incredibly impressive due to how many are there and the beautiful cinematography.

Despite being the first part of a sequel, this movie is absolutely astounding. Everything that I loved in the first movie is vastly improved in this sequel. If I had to nitpick this movie then it would literally be one scene in the manga where Himura Kenshin has to make an important choice which is in this film but without being able to hear his thoughts like in the manga it just comes out as rather inconsequential in the film and is brushed away quite easily as well. However, that doesn’t really ruin anything in the film so I came out of this thinking “I really want to watch part 3 right now”.  This movie has all the thrills and excitement from the amazing sword fights and choreography with a tinge of character drama sprinkled on top and it came out as a film that even surpasses some of the big Hollywood films.

[tanadrin]

hey *whispers* hey. hey. i saw your post in the wow tag. i would read THE SHIT out of your interpretation of wow lore. i have homework right now but i think i might just read through your blog a bit. the characters have always been such a high point for me (listen. i know knaak did a lot of shit. but you can pry Krasus from my cold dead hands he was EVERYTHING to middle school me) and i feel so conflicted over what theyve done to the characters - sylvanas, anduin, everyone. would love ur take

You might be a little disappointed, most of my blog isn’t about WoW (it postdates my WotLK raiding/RP guild phase, and I’ve only just recently got back into it with Classic). Lots of opinions on WoW characters below the cut.

I actually don’t hate Krasus as a character. He’s fine, he’s not a Designated Idiot Ball Carrier like some of the others are. In re: the dragons generally, I don’t like the simplistic thing WoW lore does a lot where one faction leader going bonkers turns the whole faction into baddies for no apparent reason, because all political entities are monoliths except when they’re not. I’m also not a huge fan of how crowded the, erm, metahuman bureaucracy on Azeroth has become in the lore–like, the Keepers and the Dragon Aspects serve similar roles, and the lore could have done fine with one or the other, and the dragons were here first (and Ysera and Alexstrasza are BAMFs), and so should get to stay.

Sylvanas is bae, obviously, and Sylvanas as Warchief was a terrific move plotwise. I think it’s a pity they had to kill Vol’jin to do it (because I am also very here for Warchief Vol’jin), but she is obviously the more interesting choice. Speaking of Warchiefs:

Thrall doesn’t have the Green Jesus Marty Stu quite as bad as some people think, but he does kinda have it, and I don’t see them grappling quite with the fact that he done fucked up. Like, not only did he install a Warchief who should have had all smart members of the Horde tugging at their collars nervously when he started his rule, Garrosh turned into a Sha-summoning Old God-corrupted, casual-atrocity-perpetrating maniac, not to mention all the bullshit on Old Draenor I do my best to forget about lest my blood pressure spike. We don’t really get a satisfying mea culpa from Thrall for that, and then his response is to fuck off to fiddle around with the Earthen Ring for a bit, before retiring to a farm in Nagrand. Keep in mind, one of the whole reasons the Horde came together in its current shape in the first place is because of the charismatic, hopeful figure of Thrall. It ran the very real risk of splintering under Garrosh for good (ESPECIALLY after the murder of Cairne, RIP Cairne Bloodhoof, you were too good for this world), and even the most unifying successor (which I think Vol’jin was) didn’t have Thrall’s inclusive, unifying vision. Sylvanas doesn’t, either, and even more, is sort of low-key hated by everybody else, so while I don’t think she’s a maniac like Garrosh who would recklessly divide the Horde, she’s also not, I am forced to admit, necessarily the ideal Warchief from a political standpoint.

Even if he didn’t return to the post of Warchief, Thrall had a moral obligation after the Garrosh debacle to try to help hold the Horde together and heal the divisions his negligence caused. At least to throw his support behind Garrosh’s successors, and not to pretend that Deathwing’s death meant everything was OK forever, job done. And if he wasn’t going to do that (and he has excellent motivations for not wanting to do that!), I think the consequences of that have to be explored. I think some people would blame him, and be justified in doing so. I think somebody like Varok Saurfang, who has had decades of experience with the damage bad leaders could do, would rightly be a little pissed, even as he sought Thrall out for help, that Thrall had let the Horde he built languish under subpar leadership. Thrall has been selfish–and that’s great, because he desperately needed some character flaws more significant than “cares too much” and “believes in people a lot.”

Anduin: better than Varian, still a little bland? Varian was a Professional Idiot Ball Handler, who seemed to do stuff not out of a coherent conception of his character, but just because the plot required a Generic Human King to do it. Plus there was all that stuff with the cloning and the kidnapping that never really made any sense. I like Anduin’s optimism; I like that he feels like a thoughtful, reasonable guy, who’s doing his best in often-impossible circumstances. I feel like they could show him being a little more frustrated sometimes, though, and a little pissed at people like Jaina who obstinately refuse to do the strategically correct thing even if it means setting aside their resentments for a bit. Disclaimer: I play almost exclusively Horde toons, they may address this better in the Alliance quests in WoW.

But oh man, besides the Draenei, I hate most what they did to Jaina. Jaina was that rare jewel, an optimist in a world whose setting demands perpetual chaos. Yes, yes, Theramore and the mana bomb, I’m not suggesting she should be made of stone, but it breaks her character to have her suddenly go from someone trying to forge a lasting peace between the Horde and Alliance in WC3–to the point where she would see her own father dead–to someone who now blames the whole Horde as one no exceptions for what happened at Theramore. Should she struggle with grief and pain and anger? Absolutely. But she should deal with them in more complex ways than “now I am become the mirror image of Daelin.” Nevermind that even if she did that she should at least regret not listening to him back in WC3. (Do they address that in BFA with the introduction of Kul Tiras? Idk, I haven’t played BFA at all yet.) It seems like Jaina’s role now is to be the Person Who Hates The Horde, and honestly, that’s a tired trope. It’s just not interesting, it has no nuance, it has no interesting outcomes. You could maybe get away with it with the generation of leaders from the Second War like Daelin and Genn who knew the Orcs only as the fel-corrupted servants of the Burning Legion, but it’s obvious to anyone with two brain cells to rub together than the current Horde is a very different animal politically and strategically, so even if you hate the Orcs with a burning passion, that is not going to transfer to the Tauren, nevermind onetime allies like the Blood Elves.

Gul’dan: oh my god the time travel plot was so stupid. Did the whole universe get duplicated in the alternate timeline? Since travel between the universes is cheap and easy that means there’s a whole nother Burning Legion with a whole nother Sargeras out there that’s still a huge fricking threat! Not to mention a whole nother Azeroth! Did just Draenor get duplicated? That doesn’t seem to match up with the fact a lot of the Burning Legion characters in WoD seem to be parallel universe versions of Burning Legion villains we already know, but it’s not directly confirmed or disconfirmed. Is it some sort of weird Bronze Dragonflight timey-wimey thing that doesn’t have its own independent reality? Ok, fine, but obviously this alternate Draenor has enough of an independent existence for us to visit it again and see what it’s like decades later, not to mention bring some of the people there back. Gul’dan was a fine, if one-dimensional villain but bringing him back from the dead was dumb, dumb, dumb, in a setting where death often feels meaningless and seems to be reversible at random. And the general incoherence of magic in the setting combined with the perennial incoherence of time travel plots (Gollum voice: *we hates them!*) really just reduced WoD to a quivering mess of plot holes, like febrile fan speculation made manifest.

Tirion Fordring: good example of a purely heroic character done well, which WoW has few of. I think because he actually has challenges to overcome, and he doesn’t feel like an idiot.

Bolvar Fordragon: Literally did not know or care who this guy was until the Wrathgate cinematic, but what they did after that with his character was terrific, 10/10.

Malfurion, Tyrande, Illidan: These characters all bore me to tears. My WotLK main was a druid, and I’m a big fan of the druid lore, so I wanna like Malfurion, I really do, but he’s just so dull. Partly because it doesn’t feel like he has any real limitations on his power, just whatever the plot demands he be able to do or not do at any given moment, partly because he just feels like a stiff-necked scold. Tyrande is even more one-dimensional. Illidan is pure 3edgy5me, and the demon hunters in general feel like they get to be too cool to actually traffic in any of the pathos of what should be their emotional equivalents like the Death Knights and the Forsaken. It’s like, “oh man, my life is so tormented, I have these bitchin’ horns and tattoos, and I’m, like, totally immortal, here, hold my rad sword thingies for a second.” At least with the Death Knights you get the feeling that being a Death Knight is a genuinely miserable experience, so there’s some genuine conflict at the heart of the class: sure, you play as a hero, but not the kind of hero you’d necessarily want to be. Demon hunters are just pissed they don’t get to sit at the cool kids’ lunch table, and Illidan genuinely acts like a giant asshole and then gets self-righteous and whiny when his friends and family are like “Dude! Stop being such an asshole!” There’s room for a prickly character, who’s a dick, but who’s our dick, and maybe that’s what they were going for, but Illidan is just the worst.

Azshara, Lady Vashj: The Naga were a giant fucking mistake. A symptom of the inability to let backstory stay backstory, to have to resurrect and retread the same events over and over again that plagues serials when lesser writers without original ideas get let loose on them. Settings like WoW (like Star Wars, like Star Trek, like Dune) are whole universes. You should be expanding the borders, making them feel bigger, more fine-grained, more alive, not beating the same major characters to death over and over again. The ancient Kaldorei are way more interesting as a lost past and a lesson in hubris than fish-snake-people who live under the sea.

Also, water levels are dumb and I hate them. This applies to coral-and-shellfish themed zones regardless of whether swimming is involved.

Cho’gall: I loved the “insane nihilist death cult” reincarnation of the Twilight’s Hammer Clan in World of Warcraft, and Cho’gall as the many-eyed crazed ogre mage with two heads was great. Would much rather have more Cho’gall than Guldan 2.0.

While I’m on Cataclysm: one thing you don’t often feel in worlds like WoW is the possibility of real defeat, because for extradiegetic reasons, it’s impossible to truly lose in any long-lasting way (or, in quests like Battle for the Undercity in WotLK, they just… don’t let you, which feels dumb as heck). I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of a post-apocalyptic fantasy world, a world where the bad guys won, and all the worst things the good guys feared came to pass. I think this is one reason I loved the original interpretation of the Draenei so much, because we saw in Draenor what that really looked like. It was bleak, and it was poignant, and even though it was set within a silly melodrama, it actually moved me. Cataclysm did something similar with the postapocalyptic time-travel instance (time travel being used well for once in WoW!), where you saw that Deathwing’s victory wasn’t just an abstract possibility, but a thing that could actually happen. It made the possibility of defeat feel more real, and it gave you a taste of that same bleak, poignant feeling: this, it said (just for a moment!) is what failure looks like, an Azeroth without life, without hope, in which everything you ever struggled for was utterly in vain. And that motivated you to work even harder to prevent it.

Alleria, Turalyon: “You last saw us in WC2, and since then we’ve been fighting a thousand years (subjective) of endless war against the Burning Legion and been irrevocably changed by the experience” is actually pretty great! But if I were going to rewrite WoW lore, I would make that a thousand objective years and set the final victory over the Burning Legion in the future, at a time when the Alliance and Horde have made a durable peace, and Azeroth has moved on from decades of endless war. I think there’s a real problem with trying to make the player one of the heroes that brings down Sargeras for good because it’s *such* an epic battle, but it’s a massively multiplayer game. Making every player the grand master of their class order was bad enough, but when you are obviously playing out entirely different diegesis from everyone around you, even if you didn’t have problems like sharding and a glut of phasing and cross-server activities and instant teleportation to dungeons, it really feels like a single-player RPG with a chat function. I mean, conflicting diegeses is always going to be a problem with questing-based MMOs, but suspension of disbelief worked when you were plainly one person embedded in a larger effort, like in vanilla, BC, and WotLK. But “you are one of thousands of people who is the Best Warrior Ever and sole Leader of the Warriors, and who has the Only Artifact Weapon that somehow also has thousands of copies”… yeah, that just doesn’t work for me. I feel like I’m being pandered to, and not in a fun way, like with the Pandaren.

Sargeras: I like that they retconned Sargeras to have a better motivation than “demons made me nihilistic.” The idea of a void-corrupted titan being something so terrible a member of the Pantheon would shatter worlds to prevent it is interesting. But the Void gods still feel… kinda non-threatening? We don’t see them actively working to threaten anything we really care about, the Void is mostly a pretty passive abstract force like the Light, and in general I feel like the setting isn’t really dualistic, but er… trialistic? Is that a word? In that there’s a three-way opposition between the Void, the Light, and the Nether/Arcane, from the perspective of which each is the opponent of both of the others, but that’s never laid out explicitly anywhere.

[askdawnandvern]

Save Bellwether on Twitter

(In the interest of getting this the best optics possible, I will be forgoing answering asks this week to keep this at the top of the page for the entire week. We will return to your regularly scheduled Dawn And Vern content next tuesday!)

For those of you who have read my story on Fanfiction.net, or follow my AskDawnAndVern blog, you may be somewhat familiar with this idea I proposed a few months back, and referenced it in the journal on my FA entitled 'The end of a road; and looking ahead.' But since I didn't post it everywhere, I suppose I should fill you in with a sort of...short version. At least to give you an idea as to why I guess I care at all about the Dawn Bellwether character, and why I started writing for her in the first place.

I was kinda dubious about Zoot when it was coming out. Both with Disney's storytelling track record with big budget films around the time, or because I preferred 2-D animation because I'm apparently a huge snob. Whatever the case, as it got closer to release I started to get more drawn into it, but Dawn sealed the deal for me. Her design was cute, and her support character roll was endearing. About a month before the film came out, leaks of the children's book revealed Dawn to be the big bad twist villain which left me kind of heartbroken. I was miffed that once again we had a ‘person you least expected' type villain, which at this point is totally cliche, but I was also upset because she was the character I liked the most, and now I knew she was set as the primary antagonist. And while I still enjoyed the film when it came out, Dawn's characterization up until the villain reveal made it that much worse. Honestly, I would have probably been better off if they gave less of a visible motivation for Dawn's actions in terms of her relationship with Lionheart. Had she simply been completely evil for the sake of it, like most Disney villains, I could have just written her off and latched on to a character like Sharla or something.  But if that had been the case, I guess we wouldn't be here.

That's basically what ended up getting me to write my fic about Dawn getting back on the straight and narrow, and well...that's how we got here. And while I'm pretty happy with my little established AU, I can't help but feel slightly nervous about Zootopia 2. With the movie doing well enough to get a sequel I should be excited. But Disney's track record when it comes to storytelling, especially when it comes to sequels, always seems to decline with each installment. Characters are kept the same for familiarity's sake, and a familiar face with an ax to grind is an easy route to take for the plot of a would-be sequel. In fact, we've seen it many times in Disney's back catalog of films, and that has me all the more worried Dawn is just going to pop back up in Z2 as a lazy, revenge plot villain. And so that sort of re-stoked those fires about Dawn's future in cannon Zoot, and if there was anything I could try to do in regards to it.  

And thus I came up with this hashtag. #SaveBellwether. In my initial announcements I mentioned we were going to be workshopping many of the elements, but that is the hashtag that stuck. What is the purpose? Well to simply show Byron Howard, as well as the rest of the folks that may be working on Z2 as well as other Zoot fans that there is a surprising amount of fans who want to see a better Bellwether in Z2. Even in as much as a blink and you'll miss it moment. If not for anything else then to avoid a lazy retread of the same tired old 'revenge ploy' plot that may or may not be in the works.

'My initial part in the plan is very simple. I'm simply going to tweet Byron Howard a string of tweets. Professional and as short as I could make them. That simply touches on the idea and expresses the sentiment among us Bellwether Fans as clearly as possible. In the interest of transparency, I will share the intended tweets here.

Dear @ByronPHoward, I, like a surprising number of Zoot fans, really loved the Bellwether character, and were kinda crushed when she turned out to be the villain.

With a sequel probably soon to be underway, I just wanted to ask if you had any plans of bringing her back as anything other than a 'revenge villain', perhaps working to reform.  

I know I'm not the only one who'd like to see her character make a turnaround. After all, if Gideon could change, she certainly could. And I think it would make for a more compelling story element.

I would just hate to see a Zootopia 2 where she comes back as an antagonist because it's easy, and see the Zoot series go down the same route of almost every other franchise out there.

On Behalf of the Bellwether fans, I thank you for listening. I hope you'll consider redeeming her. If not, hey I tried. There's always Fanfiction after all. #SaveBellwether #Zootopia #ZootopiaFans #AssistantMayorBellwether'

I will also append one of my Bellwether drawings to the post, which is the lead-in for those of you interested in supporting the idea as well as the tag. Once the tweets are up, I'd like those of you who share my sentiments to join the conversation, sharing your own opinions and art of Dawn along with mine to show Zootopia's creators and fans just how many of us there are. Whether that be just a statement, art, a cosplay, stories, or whatever, just sharing shows that there is support for this idea as well as a great deal of care about Zootopia 2's possible plot quality. And perhaps the great show of love for Dawn will persuade them to make Dawn less evil in future Zoot projects. Obviously, we don't want to badger anyone or make it seem like we are brigading them, but I think a support hashtag might let them see that there is something to the idea.

I hope there are as many of you out there as enthusiastic about supporting this idea as I am, and I hope you'll join me in using the hashtag to see if anything manages to come of it. Even if it ends up doing nothing in terms of shaping Dawn's future in Zoot, at the very least it will be a great way to spread positivity and connect to other Bellwether fans. So why not at least give it a try? If it doesn't work we'll always have out fanfictions, and the friends we met along the way.

On one last little note, this isn't necessarily about my specific Dawn story, or anyone's for that matter. I'm not aiming for Disney to hire me and use parts of Rehab for Zoot 2.  (Although that would be amazing). I just want to see the character get a better deal, and I think we all want to see that.

I look forward to seeing your own twitter posts, as well as the art and other media you share under the tag. And here's hoping for the best.

Thanks for listening,

-WT

[toaarcan]

RvB 15-17 Condensed

The working title for this was “RvB 15-17 but not crap”.

Now, this might seem a little presumptuous to include Season 17 in this, which, at time of writing, has yet to be released, buuuut I’m basically mashing S15 and S16 into a single block which would make S17 actually the sixteenth season in this version. So the rewrite is that Season 17 happens a year earlier.

Now, I have my problems with RvB 15-16.

I don’t want to start off on such a negative tone, but I feel like I need to establish that before we go ahead.

While Season 15 was at worst, a mediocre RvB Season with tonal problems and inconsistent characterisation for our leads, Season 16 is all of those problems made worse. Like, it’s not Season 9 bad, but it’s still bad, and while I’ve mostly covered those issues in past posts, I haven’t really covered how much the setup for the climax is just plain stupid.

Like the setup for the finale, and thus Season 17, is as follows:

Atlus: Don’t do the thing.

Wash: Don’t do the thing.

Huggins: Don’t do the thing.

Carolina: ... Alright guys let’s do the thing.

[Time breaks because they did the thing]

It’s a little more complex than that, but not by much.

Now, I ummed and ahhhed over how to make this work for a while, but ultimately, I came to the conclusion that this is how I would do it.

For starters, 90% of Season 16’s plot is getting dumped. If not all of it. Legitimately all I’m keeping is the ending. Sorry, it’s not exactly a big loss.

Second off, I’m not heavily altering Season 15. While there’s definitely a good Season 5-13 tier plot that could be told with a fake BGC, this isn’t it, and attempting to alter that leads into a completely different set of stories. So Season 15 is mostly unchanged, just assume Temple is actually a competent villain and the plot isn’t driven entirely by the BGC being dumber than usual for a week.

So the timeline is now Season 15 -> Paradox -> Season 17.

We’re also scrubbing Wash’s injury from Season 15. It’s going to be an unnecessary complication for the lead-in to the next season anyway. If we’re going straight for the time paradox, then having Wash be injured is kinda pointless. Given that Season 16 ended on a warped Blood Gulch way before Wash ever showed up, there’s nothing to gain by having him out of action. He’s already imperilled enough by time being fucked.

“But wait,” I hear you say. “If Wash and Locus are with the heroes when they take on the Blues and Reds, surely they catch up to Temple quickly enough that the time machine doesn’t get turned on!”

Ah, but that’s the beauty of it. Whether the time machine is turned on or not is not the focus of the paradox here. And because that’s not a vital plot point, we’re free to have the characters just Travel At The Speed Of Plot, and arrive precisely in time for the actual climax.

You see, rather than changing history around Wash’s injury and thus fucking the timeline up, the key to the paradox is Church. Specifically, what happens when Church is removed from their history because someone pulled him into the present before the events of Blood Gulch really happened.

In the actual show, when Church appears in the portal, Tucker tells Caboose to pull him through, and Caboose refuses, instead bidding farewell to an extremely confused Alpha and allowing the portal to close. It’s a big moment for Caboose’s character, and it’s one of the parts of Season 15 which is pretty well-executed.

Obviously, I’m not going to overturn that and have him not have the growth. So, how does Church end up being pulled through?

“Tucker did it!”

Now, I’m not a big fan of Joe’s Tucker. In fact, that’s an understatement. I hate the way Joe writes Tucker, and I’d rather not fall into that same trap, so I’m going to explain in detail why Tucker would make this mistake.

 1) Tucker just had Epsilon die on him. Inside his head. And at the same time, the other remaining pieces of Epsilon all faded away too. And Tucker didn’t even notice it was happening, by the time he realised what was going in, the fragments were gone and he was left in a very empty and very non-functioning suit of power armour. Given how heavy this armour is, with it non-functioning, Tucker was probably unable to move until his friends removed most of the suit, so he was trapped in a coffin that was emptier than it should’ve been.

2) Struggling to cope with his grief, Tucker does something frankly stupid and activates the Temple of Procreation.

3) A while later, Tucker is starting to recover from his friend’s death, when Dylan shows up and he finds out in short order that A) Someone is committing terrorist acts while disguised as him and his friends, B) The planet he sacrificed so much, and Church gave his life for, is being blamed and might be invaded, and C) Church might be alive. This effectively halts Tucker’s recovery.

4) The consequences of his fuckup with the Temple of Procreation come back to haunt him, and suddenly, something Tucker has always been proud of- that he’s a great father to Junior- is called into question because he’s now an absentee dad to a fuckton of Chorus babies, which deals a blow to the poor man’s ego.

5) Shortly after that, the fiasco where Temple manages to manipulate him happens, and it makes things even worse for him. He should’ve seen through it after Felix, but he didn’t. And now, Wash and Carolina are hurt because of him, and the message from Church was a fake.

6) Finally, after all of this, he’s face to face with Church, and he has the chance to save him, and while maybe he could follow Caboose’s example… there’s one key problem. This isn’t Epsilon, it’s Alpha.

Y’see, there’s a big difference between those two. As has been pointed out before, Epsilon was always kind of a total prick to Tucker. A lot of this can be chalked up to Epsilon’s knowledge of the BGC coming entirely from Caboose, who purposefully left Tucker out of his recounts of their many adventures.

But this isn’t Epsilon. It’s Alpha. Tucker’s best friend, Alpha. Alpha, who went off and died without Tucker being there. Without Tucker ever getting a chance to see him once again. They got separated and one year later, Alpha died, in denial about a fact that Tucker had figured out long ago. Maybe Tucker could’ve helped save Alpha if he’d been there. Maybe Alpha wouldn’t have had to leave the safety of Wash’s suit and end up vulnerable to the emp if someone else had been there to hold the Meta’s attention.

 Tucker decides to save his friend. He’s at the end of his rope and after all the crap he’s been through on this journey, which he set out on because he wanted to save Church, he’s going to damn well save Church.

Additionally, by tying Tucker into the portal scene properly, there’s now a proper narrative throughline from the characters receiving Church’s message to the portal. Caboose has been covered, but Tucker hasn’t.

 Time paradox.

Despite his best intentions and hopefully understandable motives, Tucker has just pulled Alpha-Church out of their history before it even got started. And given how much of Seasons 1-13 was motivated by Church in some form or another… well, they’ve just unmade themselves.

The final twist is that time isn’t rewound to Season 1. We don’t need to see that. Season 1 retreads aren’t needed. If they want to remake Season 1, they should just bite the bullet and do a full remaster of the early Seasons to clean up the audio, rather than forcing new Seasons of the show to ape it.

Instead, we see a Blood Gulch wherein the same amount of time has passed since S1E01, but with none of the elements that Church brought in having happened.

Tex never goes to Blood Gulch. She spends her time hiding from Freelancer and desperately trying to find her other half, whom she was ripped away from and now will never be able to reunite with.

Tucker loses his friend, and is left with Caboose, who already doesn’t like him.

Caboose, for his part, doesn’t get brain damaged by Omega, but he still has his air shut off and Church still convinces him to drink Scorpion fuel, so he’s not doing much better.

Kai probably gets deployed to Blood Gulch faster, since Blue team is undermanned. She’s stuck in an empty box canyon with the rest of them.

York lives on, not getting recruited by Tex, until the Meta comes for him. The Meta takes Delta and leaves York to die alone.

Wyoming is not sent after Tucker, and doesn’t get the chance to formulate the plan with Omega.

Junior is never born.

Because Wyoming’s plan doesn’t happen, Wash is left to try and combat the Meta without the aid of the Reds and Blues. He fails.

The Meta remains free to hunt down and murder its former comrades. Like Tex, it ends up searching endlessly for the Alpha, which it will not find.

Without the Project’s downfall, and without Epsilon’s activation, Carolina remains in hiding.

The Director remains in hiding, endlessly repeating his attempts to perfect his remake of Allison. He never finds the answer.

Chorus is destroyed by perpetual civil war, all according to Hargrove’s design.

And as the galaxy darkens, people who would’ve been friends die or are left alone to rot, and the Project that put them there tears itself apart until only Tex, the Meta, Carolina, and the Director remain, scattered to the winds and pursuing impossible tasks, Blood Gulch remains. Its purpose is lost without Alpha, and the Project is gone, but with no new orders, VIC perpetuates the “war” between Red and Blue teams, and so it goes on. Static. Unchanging.

Cue the ending, and the setup for the next season. A Blood Gulch without Church.

[sieben9]

“the devil’s due” impressions

{Quick request to anyone reading: I’m watching OUaT for the first time, and I want to avoid spoilers. So, if you want to discuss something spoilery, I’d be grateful if you could start a new post for that. Thank you!}

Dear Lord. This episode. Did I like it? Did I not? I’m not sure, but I sure have some strong feelings on the matter. They just don’t separate neatly into positive or negative ones.

One thing I do know without a doubt, and that is that I might just have witnessed the funniest ten seconds of dialogue in modern television.

“I’m sure we’ll laugh ourselves sick about it one day.”

yeah, that is the face of a man having WAY too much fun.

Anyway, watch me figure out what I think under the cut. Warning, this is even ramblier than usual, and therefore kind of long.

So… yeah, probably not my favourite episode. It’s not terrible as such, and I love some bits and pieces that came out of it, but overall, it just leaves a weird aftertaste.

One of my main problems is definitely that every character seems a bit… off. Not entirely OOC, just “the usual character, but a bit to the left”. And when that’s happening to the entire cast, you do wonder if some kind of alien bodysnatching has taken place. …wait, no, this is fantasy. Maybe a doppelgänger situation, then? Whatever it is, people are being weird this episode, and I don’t like it.

Before I get into anything else, before I get into anything else, though, I just want to mention the one bit I unequivocally liked. And that was Regina visiting Daniel’s headstone. It had next to nothing to do with the actual plot, but it was such a sweet moment, and seeing the look on Regina’s face when she realised that her first love had made it out was just… nice. I liked it. And I appreciate it when we get to see the little moments.

good on you, stable boy.

Just... look at her face! She almost didn’t want to know, and then she was so happy, but also sad, because of course she would be sad, and... ::happy sigh:: Yeah, again: a good moment, this moment.

Alright, on to the main plot. Specifically, the flashback, because it lays the foundation for a lot of… let’s be polite and call it “stuff” in the present.

It took me a while to realise how the plot connects to the present day (more on that later), and even now that I do, I’m still not sure if this flashback was, strictly speaking, necessary.

Yes, we had to introduce drama around Belle being pregnant (apparently), but I’m not convinced this was best way — or even a good way — to do it. At best, the story felt like retreading old ground, and not in the way that showed new facets, either and at worst, it undermines fundamental pieces of established character history. Specifically: one of spinner!Rumple’s defining characteristics was his willingness to do absolutely anything for his son. Now, I’m not blaming him for flinching away from a murder in any way, shape, or form, but I just don’t get with the story was supposed to show me in terms of character depth.

I’m also slightly perplexed by Milah’s reaction to the deal Rumple made with the healer. (And was the only one who thought “if you wanted that guy dead so badly, why didn’t you stab him yourself?”)  No, I didn’t expect her to be thrilled, but… how should I put this… Baelfire is something between five and six in this flashback. Something tells me you weren’t really trying to have any more children at this point.

Also, an honourable mention to this weird Hook-doppelgänger, who turns up in the last couple of seconds.

I mean, we’ve seen other flashbacks of Hook from around this time, and while he might have had his tender moments, I don’t believe he had this full-on Romantic Hero mode in him. Especially not in defence of the complete stranger.

Ah, well, water under the bridge and all that.

Back in the present day, let me start with one little tidbit for those among you who are just as immature as I am: apparently, “Underbrook” sounds exactly like “onderbroek”, which is the Dutch word for underpants. (With thanks to @idesignedthefjords) Do with that knowledge what you will. I mostly just giggled at it a lot.

Alright, back to the actual plot. Specifically:

Belle is pregnant. Yay?

…as with the entire episode, I really don’t know how to feel about that. Good things can have bad timing, but I feel like this timing is particularly bad. (Also, they’ve come this far without addressing Emilie de Ravin’s rather obvious baby bump, so it’s not like this is a “we had to write in the pregnancy to explain the pregnancy” situation.) I mean, if nothing else, my OTP is having a baby and there’s at least some part of me that’s happy about that. But please get your shit together, you two, so I can stop worrying about this whole mess.

In conclusion: I should probably be thrilled about the tiny Rumbelle baby (Rumbaby?), but I’m mostly worried. This has all the hallmarks of something that will go extremely, terribly, horribly wrong, and that’s before we count in the fact that technically, the god of the dead has guardianship over the little sproglet and is currently blackmailing its father.

that makes for two blackmailings this season alone. three more and he gets a free footlong!

Also, remember how Pan is not allowed to use the word “fertile” again, ever, in this world or any other?

Yeah, I’m officially taking the words “baby-making” away from Hades, and he’s not getting them back. Sorry, pal, but you’ve proven that you can’t use them responsibly.

OK, inappropriate humour over (for now), back to one of my more burning questions. Which is “What the hell were you thinking, Emma?”

The fact that you told Milah about Neal shows that you know that his wellbeing is of concern to people who aren’t you or Henry. In fact, you’ve never met the woman before, never heard a single word about her until that hilarious introduction, but you immediately intuited that she’d want to know that her son is safe and happy.

…so why did it never occur to you to tell his father? The man literally spent centuries trying to reunite with his son, and you know all of that.

just my uninformed opinion, but this looks like the face of a man who would have liked having that information earlier. and possibly to his face.

So what was the thought process there? Because what comes across is that she was cruel for cruelties sake alone. Not the best angle for one of the main characters, who’s already looking like a selfish ass for dragging her family down to purgatory to save her boyfriend.

Speaking from a writerly perspective, it’s obviously for Plot Reasons, because otherwise Rumple wouldn’t have scryed for his child, so he wouldn’t have found out about Belle’s pregnancy, Hades wouldn’t have been alerted, and Rumple would have no compelling reason to work for him. I’d still like to think that there is a better way to get all of these points across than… this.

By the way, here’s where the flashback connects to the present-day plot, in my opinion: both past and present Rumple were presented with a choice of taking a life in order to save others. (The parallel isn’t perfect, because Hades didn’t bring up Rumple’s unborn child until later, but I think when the literal god of the dead threatens to kill everyone you brought with you, that still counts as imminent danger.) First time around, he refused and found another way, and was punished for it. Both by Milah’s reaction and, oddly enough, by the narrative. In the present, he doesn’t hesitate to deliver the fatal blow, and that’s presented as a bad thing, too. I doubt this was the original intention, but what I’m getting is “sometimes, there are no good choices”. Which is… well, kind of a bummer. (As an aside, I do have to wonder if Hades let Milah see him on purpose, just to back Rumple into this particular corner. It would fit with his personality…)

The one thing I’m objectively angry at, is the writing. Because I want the people responsible to look me in the eye and say that it was really necessary to fridge the same character twice. I don’t even like Milah, but this just made me really uncomfortable. Are you really telling me that there was no other way to make Hades look “scary” and remind us that Rumple does bad shit when he’s backed into a corner?

good scene, though

In a darkly humorous turn of events, this time it wasn’t even his fault for not telling anyone else about the threat. Because Hades’s ultimatum was basically “destroy this ship right now, or everyone here dies”. That doesn’t leave much time to find a loophole, does it?

If nothing else, I did like the quiet conversation between Rumple and Milah. The two actors really got that underlying emotion of “way too much time has passed for us to still hate each other” across. I think that was reflected in Rumple’s comment afterwards. No, he didn’t enjoy killing Milah (Frankly, I highly doubt he enjoyed the first time, but that’s literally another story), because that part of his life is so far behind him, and so far behind her, too, that all strong emotions have long since burned away. I don’t think he would have begrudged her if she had gotten to move on. Shame that never happened, right? ::glares at writers::

Blergh. Sorry this was such a rambling mess, but I was really happy when I realised this was a Rumple-centric, only to have that joy systematically crushed into a pulp of bewildered incomprehension and a faint sense of betrayal. This episode probably wasn’t bad, from a technical standpoint, but it was decidedly unpleasant to watch.

So, to not close this out on me being mopey and annoyed... here’s the Amazon episode summary.

...dear Amazon: are you sure you sold me the right episode?

[themattress]

My Opinions on the KH OCs

SORA: I adored Sora from KH through KH2. But then I became disillusioned with him because they kept making clones of him, pushed his positive Messianic qualities to the extreme, and then went too far the other way in 3D by making him into this over-the-top childish idiot who screwed everything up and was denied Keyblade Master status, all amidst proclamations that he was a "dull, ordinary boy" who "the Keyblade didn't choose" (which is an outright LIE.) For the most part, KH3 brought my old love for Sora back by usually characterizing him the same way KH2 did...and then it basically killed him off in the end, punishing him for doing good, all while Xehanort gets rewarded by being able to go to Heaven even after a lifetime of doing evil without a shred of remorse. What. The. FUCK? When Sora faded away at the last minute, so too did any remaining interest in this series.

KAIRI: Loved her in KH, she was so damn interesting and relatable, and her role in the story was a perfect twist on the classic Disney Princess role. Her role and characterization in KH2 weren’t as strong, but her new design, actions, connections with other characters and endgame development made up for it, as did the fact that she was still voiced by the lovely Hayden Panettiere. Add to this how strongly she factored into COM, and Kairi was clearly the original trilogy’s emotional heart. Then that heart got removed and never put back, as Kairi was excluded from the games to the highest degree possible, all leading up to a horrifying bait-and-switch in KH3 where she was finally returning to prominence and looked to become a stronger character than ever before, only for the exact opposite to happen, not at all helped by the voicework of Alyson Stoner. What Nomura’s done is a travesty. #KairiDeservedBetter.

RIKU: Loved him in KH, where he was like a Final Fantasy character turned Disney villain and he played that role incredibly well. I thought he was fumbled when he starred in his own story mode in COM, but I never really blamed him for that and more the writing around him that pushed him into an unnatural position that even he didn’t seem to want to be in. Despite not truly appearing as himself until the endgame of KH2 and having flatter characterization, Riku still redeemed himself excellently through being a party member helping against the final boss, along with a beautiful reconciliation with Sora. Like his other friends in the Destiny Trio, things went downhill afterwards. Riku became so overexposed, shoved down our throats, and positioned as the series Deuteragonist who phased Kairi out of existence while being given more badass feats than Sora, that I lost my liking for him entirely and consider him to be a blatant Mary Sue. This sadly didn’t change with KH3, and it only looks to be getting worse.

ROXAS: Despite falling way short of the hype, I enjoyed Roxas in KH2. He was likable and sympathetic, and he did a good job servicing one of the game’s deepest themes. But then, because he was (confusingly, IMHO) uber-popular, he got his own game featuring his time in the Organization, and he never left that bland portrayal behind, with every subsequent game he appears in having it be Days!Roxas instead of KH2!Roxas, to the point where KH2!Roxas was demeaningly retconned into having “ceased to exist” when he fully re-merged with Sora despite what was said and shown to the contrary in KH2, all for the sake of giving him a shamelessly fan-pandering perfect happy ending. Roxas thus became one of the characters whom I most associate with the downfall of the KH series, and thus one of my least favorites. 

NAMINE: Namine was a character that I loved in COM and KH2, despite being pretty confusing even back then, since she had a real humanity behind her. I was very disappointed that afterwards, she became more and more of a convenient plot device and mouthpiece for Nomura’s convoluted lore rather than a legitimate character, with her characterization regressing to and being regurgitated from her debut appearance. The scale and scope of her powers got ridiculous, the retcon of Sora having promised to thank her when that was never the case is beyond stupid, and she fell prey to the same retcon Roxas did of “ceasing to exist” when she merged with Kairi and thus needing to be “saved” in order to cure her “hurt”. Naturally, she’s right up there with Kairi as one of the most frustratingly-handled characters.

XION: I was immediately turned off by this character due to how blatantly fanfic Mary Sue-esque she was, then warmed up to her considerably as I actually played the game and saw how she was utilized, only to be turned off of her again when Nomura completely went back on her firmly established tragic fate for the sake of a schmaltzy happy ending that neuters what was effective about the character, in essence turning her right back into just a fanfic Mary Sue. I don’t actually blame Xion for this, but she’s still my least favorite main KH girl.

VENTUS: Kind of the same deal as Xion - didn’t like him at first because he was a lazy retread of Roxas and whose connection to Sora cheapened things, warmed up to him after playing the game and seeing him in action (I especially love his voice by Jesse McCartney, which is very distinct from Roxas), only to go right back to not really liking him when we ended up never hearing the end of him and how he is the reason behind so many events and character motivations, especially once he was retconned into hailing from the X time period.

TERRA / LINGERING WILL: While I’m not too attached to him, I still low-key love this guy. Yes, he’s an idiot, but an understandable, well-meaning and likable one, who also has a very charismatic-looking design and is badass in combat. Everyone loves the Lingering Will, but I don’t think it would be as effective if it didn’t come from such a flawed screw-up like Terra. It’s uplifting that even if you do nothing but fail, your will to succeed can achieve some form of success in of itself. He may have got the shaft in KH3, but he made the most of what he had.

AQUA / ANTI-AQUA: In BBS, I felt Aqua was more enjoyable than Ven but not as much as Terra, making her a pretty fittingly balanced character in my view - I loved that she was the first fully playable female character in the series and did a lot of neat stuff in the story, but I hated how devoid of character development she was compared to her male friends and how her English voice actress constantly missed the mark in her delivery. In 0.2 BBS, she was put in a lousy story, but she became a much more interesting and developed character as a trade-off. Sadly, it all fell apart in KH3, where aside from her brief stint as the terrifying Anti-Aqua, Aqua became an incompetent joke of a “Keyblade Master”, jobbing in every major fight she had and jobbing badly, with that development from 0.2 BBS amounting to nothing. In the end, Aqua wound up right back where she began - between Terra and Ventus in my favor.

MASTER ERAQUS: Love his design, love his voice-acting, love his premise as a character - do NOT love him. In a story where all the heroes act like idiots, Eraqus takes the cake, and becomes outright unlikable when he attempts to murder Ven and Terra under very flimsy reasoning. And KH3 only makes him worse, with a severe disconnect existing between his younger self and his older self, and helping to contribute to the game’s bullshit ending.

DIZ / ANSEM THE WISE: I loved him as the tragic, Monte Cristo-esque figure as shown in COM, Days and KH2, especially when voiced by the incomparable Christopher Lee. He had the perfect send-off in KH2, which made it such a slap in the face when BBS’ secret ending retconned him into having surviving, only for him to do jack shit but be a plot device, and not a very good one at that. Bringing Ansem the Wise back was one of the series’ biggest sins, and stands as a textbook example of Nomura not knowing when to just let a character go.

HAYNER, PENCE & OLETTE: I like these kids, they’re a lot of fun in all their appearances.

MASTER XEHANORT: I really enjoyed Master Xehanort in BBS, when he was just a simple Darth Sidious expy voiced by the great Leonard Nimoy, a character whose chief purpose was backstory for the villain we already knew who went by the same name. But then Nomura decided that he was the main antagonist of the whole series and retconned that everything that ever happened was part of his convoluted master plan...a plan with very muddled objectives and motivations, not to mention contradictions at many turns. This turning of Xehanort into a Villain Sue had severe consequences in KH3, where not only was he weakly voiced by Rutger Hauer, but he was written terribly: only showing up at the end, fridging Kairi for no reason, being beaten in a surprisingly easy boss fight, having his entire motivation changed, and receiving one of the most audience-insulting endings that a villain could possibly receive, especially one as remorselessly evil as him.  The final slap in the face was revealing that he was a pawn to someone else, derailing the entire point behind the stupid-ass “Xehanort Saga” decision! So in the end, Master Xehanort was pretty damn pointless.

TERRA-XEHANORT: The original Xehanort introduced in KH2. While his origin is something of a headache (he’s an amnesiac Master Xehanort possessing the body and heart of Terra), it still works, IMO, and creates a character who is much more interesting than either of the two characters it took to form him, despite (or perhaps because of) his relative lack of screentime.

ANSEM: Terra-Xehanort’s Heartless is both the original incarnation of Xehanort in the series and both me and Nomura’s personal favorite. Sadly, Nomura screwed him up when he brought him back for the “True Organization XIII”, first going too over-the-top evil when part of his appeal was that he genuinely (and pompously) believed that he was the one in the right, and then suddenly being far less evil than he should be considering that he’s a freaking Heartless! The Ansem that I adore will always be the one from the original KH and Riku’s mode in COM, the hammy philosopher who is totally drunk on darkness and is seeking it for his own sake, not for the sake of some absurdly convoluted grand plan of Master Xehanort’s.

XEMNAS: Terra-Xehanort’s Nobody is the best villain in the KH series and the most consistently good of the Xehanort incarnations. While certainly at his best as the Superior of Organization XIII in KH, COM, Days and KH2, he actually managed to still be a captivating presence as part of the “True Organization XIII” in 3D and KH3 even if his character lost a lot of its depth thanks to the bullshit retcon that he was following Master Xehanort’s grand plan all along. He’s terrifying, loathsome, humorous and pitiable all at once...he’s just fantastic!

XIGBAR / BRAIG / LUXU: Oh, what a roller coaster this guy has been - I didn’t particularly care for him as Xigbar at first in KH2, then grew to really like him thanks to extra exposure in KH2:FM and Days, then came to love him as Braig in BBS, then went right back to disliking him when he became Xigbar again in 3D, and now am hardly able to stand him in KH3 when it’s revealed that he’s Luxu. Like Namine, he’s become a total vehicle for Nomura’s bullshit.

XALDIN / DILAN: I love Xaldin. He’s badass, intimidating, and despicable, and he really stands out by being linked so heavily with the Beast’s Castle and the Beast himself. His boss fight on the castle bridge is the stuff of legends. Dilan is a bore, though, especially in KH3.

VEXEN / EVEN: Somehow, this is one of the few characters who manages to remain consistently entertaining and well-written in all his appearances, helped out a lot by Derek Stephen Prince’s performance. As both the mad scientist Vexen and the well-intentioned scientist Even, he’s someone I just can’t take my eyes off of whenever he’s on screen.

LEXAEUS / ELAEUS: Boring but admirably power as Lexaeus, with the potential to be more interesting thanks to his intellect and rapport with Zexion. Just plain boring as Eleaeus. 

ZEXION / IENZO: Everything about Zexion had potential, but it just never came together properly and left him as an underwhelming villain. He has much more success as Ienzo, being very likable and interesting; honestly one of the best KH-original characters in KH3. 

SAIX / ISA: This character is one of the more frustrating ones to me. I liked him just fine in KH2, but not as much as I would’ve liked to. I liked him more when he got more scenes in KH2:FM, and I straight-up loved him in Days for being such an effective Hate Sink as well as a really interesting and tragic character. But I did not care for his cameo appearances in BBS and 3D, even though he still carries some of what I enjoyed about him with him in KH3, he also receives new baggage that makes his character less appealing...namely, the fact that his motivation all along was based around some random girl we never heard of until now. Still, if there’s one thing that remains consistent, it is that Kirk Thornton does a phenomenal job in the role. I honestly think most of Saix’s effectiveness comes from that badass voice.

AXEL / LEA: Sigh...you oughta know this one by now. I love Axel the Nobody, I think he was one of the series’ finest villains, and think he had an effective character arc despite some bumps along the road. I can’t stand his human self, who is a watered-down, obnoxious, whitewashed Mary Sue version of his Nobody self who is only here for fanservice, only given a major heroic role and his own Keyblade because Axel was a favorite of both fans and the development team. He’s sadly one of those characters who becomes the victim of his own popularity, with what made him popular to begin with lost as a result of increased exposure.

DEMYX / ???: He’s funny, I like him. Don’t have any stronger feelings than that.

LUXORD / ???: With his slick design, gambling gimmick, classy gentleman demeanor, and English voice by Robin Atkin-Downes, I’ve always liked Luxord, but I don’t think he’s ever truly lived up to his full potential...until KH3, where he’s a standout in both the Caribbean and the Keyblade Graveyard. I especially love his respectable rival dynamic with Jack Sparrow.

MARLUXIA / LAURIAM: A lack of clear motivations aside, Marluxia is an excellent villain. I love how he’s got flower powers, a pink sycthe, pink hair and a pretty-boy face and yet has this very masculine and imposing demeanor, not to mention a diabolically clever and manipulative personality. His battles and battle themes are also always impressive in every game he appears in. And while I don’t care for him being a Keyblade wielder, I actually like him as Lauriam too. He’s surprisingly sympathetic and is a neat contrast to his Nobody.

LARXENE / ELRENA: I love Larxene, she makes being the only female member of the Organization count by being one of the most aggressive, despicable, frightening, humorous and oddly endearing members all at the same time, getting a tragic death scene in COM and some softer moments in Days and KH3 that add depth to her while never causing her to lose her edge.  And like with Lauriam, I like Elrena despite not caring for the Keyblade angle.

VANITAS: Vanitas is awesome. He’s an evil version of Sora who does evil things because he enjoys being evil and has zero fucks to give about it. Haley Joel Osment really brings his gleeful brand of evil to life, making it always a pleasure to see Vanitas in both BBS and KH3. And thus I’m really glad he didn’t get redeemed in the end - pure villainy is his whole appeal!

RIKU REPLICA: Despite being an over-the-top retread of Riku’s role in KH for most of COM and having one boss battle too many, Riku Replica was still a good character and with one of the most tragic arcs in the series, which really made his death scene stand out. Of all the characters to ruin due to Nomura not letting go of them, I thought he was safe, but nope! He was pointlessly brought back in KH3, played a worse and more convoluted role, and had a much weaker “happier” send-off that clashed with how other aspects of the story were being treated and only reinforced Riku’s Special Snowflake status. Of course, even before that happened, the replica concept that he introduced to the series had spiraled into a much more needlessly confusing state, so I guess his legacy was doomed either way. Poor Repliku!

DARK RIKU: A confusing composite of all Riku’s alter-egos: Riku when he was possessed by Ansem, Riku Replica, and Data Riku, enlisted in “True Organization XIII”. I’m not sure what the point of this guy was. Or if he’s basically another version of Repliku, why not just make him the only Repliku in the story and spare us that convoluted nonsense with the other one?

YOUNG XEHANORT: Haaaaaaaaaate....haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate....

KAIRI’S GRANDMOTHER: In the first KH, but only a real character in BBS. But getting Kathryn Beaumont (original voice of Alice and Wendy Darling, and thus a Disney Legend) to voice her was absolutely brilliant and made her single scene stand out as the game’s best.

And that’s about it. The rest are all the datascape clones I don’t give a shit about (Data Sora, Data Riku, Data Roxas, Data Namine, and Data Sora’s Heartless) and the cast of X that I also don’t give a shit about (The Master of Masters, the Foretellers, Ephemer, Skuld, Brain...the only ones I like are Chirithy and Strelitzia, but only on the shallow basis that they’re cute.) 

And I am NOT sticking around this series to properly meet Yozora...

[baradorable]

My opinions on the current anime season. I’ll go over come popular shows and try to warm you up to some hidden gems.

Attack on Titan (Season 4)

I ended up liking this show a lot more than I thought I would. I ended up binging the first three seasons in like a week. Now I’m impatiently waiting for more episodes.

I will say that I’m kind of mixed on this one, though. Like I know they want to flesh out the country of Marley, make the war less one-sided and establish how villainous Eren is later, or whatever. I preferred it when the characters were fighting the enigmatic, monstrous force of titans. The political drama was like the least interesting parts of season 3. (That, and Eren being kidnapped for the millionth time.) Regardless, I’m still liking what we have so far, and there’s only one thing that makes me hesitate.

Gabi Braun. Fucking Gabi Braun. She’s so fucking obnoxious. She’s like Eren, except without the character traits that made him interesting. We have less reason to care about her, and her story is mostly just a retread of Eren’s. And I’d tolerate that if she wasn’t such an obnoxious cunt all the damn time. “But euuhughhg Gabi is a kid and she’s brainwashed! She’s actually really well-written!” Yeah, but she’s still an annoying little shit and less sympathetic than the other Marleyans we’re focusing on. She shouldn’t be the main focus character.

“Did you see it happen?” BITCH. There’s being brainwashed and there’s being a fucking moron. And don’t give me that “Well, in real life, brainwa-” Yeah, I don’t care. She’s not real. The only thing real about her is the headache she gives me.

So she’s this unlikable kid who came in and killed a fan-favorite character. I loved Sasha. Everyone did. But I’ll live. (Unlike her.) But she just HAD to be killed by fucking Garbage Braun of all people. Honestly, if Falco killed Sasha, I’d get over it. He’s a way better character than Gabi. I could go on and on about how he works better on a fundamental level, but none of you are even reading this post in the first place. So whatever.

8/10

Beastars (Season 2)

It’s good. I don’t like it as much as season 1, but I’m enjoying it a lot. It’s not a show I actively wait for, but it’s always pleasant to see.

7.5/10

Cells at Work!! Code Black

I never saw the original Cells at Work, but this show makes me not want to. Because I don’t think it would be as good as Code Black.

For those who haven’t seen it, Cells at Work is basically about humanized cells working in a body. You follow a red blood cell as they deliver oxygen, and you encounter all sorts of issues and quirks you see in a body. From sicknesses, to infections, to even cancer, you actually learn a lot. It’s genuine edutainment.

Black is set in a body that’s incredibly unhealthy. The characters are scrambling to survive and keep a failing body going. There’s this growing sense of dread each episode as the body grows worse and worse. You get frustrated because these characters don’t deserve the Hell they go through, and you just want to shout at the human to eat healthy, quit smoking and shape up. Because you care about the cells and want them to have a better work environment.

It’s really fun and makes me feel guilty for my unhealthy habits.  

7.5/10. Maybe 8/10 if these last few episodes keep up the momentum.

Dr. Stone

I really liked season 1, and I’m liking this season so far as well. I prefer the set-up and use of tech in season 1, season 2 is kind of moving too fast with tech while the story is a little slow. But despite all that, this show is still great and is on track to becoming a classic. If it weren’t for Attack on Titan, it would be Anime of the Season for me.

8/10

Jobless Reincarnation: 

A 40-year-old NEET gets isekai’d into the body of a baby. You watch this child with an adult mind grow up and learn about this magical fantasy world. It’s pretty good, I like it. It has good humor, nice characters, interesting lore, and a fun magic system. 

If you ever watched Isekai Cheat Magician? (Of course you didn’t. No one did.) This is what Isekai Cheat Magician wishes it could be.

I give this show a 7/10. It loses points because it made me think of Isekai Cheat Magician just now.

Ex-Arm

No words. Except four words: Go watch this show.

Oh boy. This show is. This show is a doozy. If I had to explain, I would say it’s like... shit. Because it is shit. But it’s very entertaining shit.

The story and characters are cool, but unimportant. You just can’t get into them because the animation is the highlight of the story. It just blows every other aspect of the show out of the water.

What kind of animation are we talking about? If I had to describe it, it would be the visual equivalent of that girl on Tik Tok who made a video series where she plays a Jewish girl during the Holocaust. It’s like a present you would give your eyes, if you hated them and wanted them to die.

Some characters are 2D, but the rest are 3D. And not even good 3D, because this shit is worse than those bootleg mobile games with stolen assets that don’t fit together. They had to censor kisses because they couldn’t animate lips moving, and pushing their faces together would just make their models clip. One of the characters has a wide-eyed smile all the time, no matter the situation, because there’s like no animation for her expressions. This show makes the 3D Pokemon games look like fine art.

Another thing I’d like to mention is the opening song, if only because I can’t tell if it’s good or terrible. I genuinely can’t tell if I like it ironically, or unironically. Either way, it’s perfect for this show.

So yeah, I love this show. It’s such a fucking mess in the best way. It always brings a smile to my face. I just wish the story was bad, so I can have another level of awfulness to enjoy. This show never fails to make me smile. Anime of the fucking decade right here.

HELLO, HELLO/10

Kemono Jihen

It’s kind of like Inuyasha, except without the humans, Naraku has big boobs, the Shikon Jewel/life stones aren’t that important yet, Bakugo from My Hero Academia is on the cast, everyone is a 12-year-old with bad fashion sense, and it’s a lot more generic in premise and execution.

So, nothing like Inuyasha. Honestly it’s more like My Hero Academia in terms of vibes. I still enjoy it though. My favorite character is probably the little fox girl because I like her design. But I also like the little fox boy because I’m not entirely sure what game he’s playing, but I’m into it. 

6.7/10

Redo of Healer

It’s basically just rape hentai with a budget. Honestly, I appreciate the boldness of the show, if anything. (Aside from the fact that they don’t show any dick or vag. How cowardly.) The sex scenes are decent and frequent, so no complaints there. I’m not really into rape (been there, getting raped isn’t fun), but a true hentai connoisseur can still appreciate it.

Plot-wise, it’s neat. Making the main character a revenge-seeking rapist fighting even worse rapists is an interesting take. And there’s a lot of fun creativity in how he uses his powers, though I wish they explained them more. Like I get how he’s doing everything, but breaking it down would make them feel more intriguing. He’s also a broken self-insert power fantasy, but it’s nice seeing one that’s smart, evil and methodical. 

In execution, it’s a pretty generic story with generic settings and plots. The lead’s carrying the whole thing, though I can’t help but like the villains for being so over-the-top evil. If nothing else, the audacity and sex scenes make this show worth watching. Pretty entertaining.

Re: The harem. Setsuna is too young and innocent for my tastes, but I like her. The white-haired girl is cool, she’s my favorite even though she hasn’t really done anything yet. Freia’s meh, but I like the idea of her being a major cunt despite the memory wipe. 

I give this one five rapes out of ten. And if you like this show, I recommend reading that one Megg, Mogg & Owl comic where the characters become obsessed with rape-based puns.

Re:Zero (Season 2, second half)

I love this show. The first season was pretty good. The second half of season 2 was also pretty good, and the plot was shaping up to be great. But now we’re in the second half of season 2, and it’s meh. Which is really disappointing for such a great show.

Like, I get what they’re trying to do: they’re shaping up alliances, digging into the characters’ pasts, moving everyone forward, yadda yadda. But this arc is so slow now. It feels like we’ve seen nothing but flashbacks, characters standing around and talking, flashbacks, more talking, flashbacks. There’s so little action to break things up. The mystery and exploration from earlier episodes is gone, since we pretty much understand the important things. We’re just left waiting for the things they’ve been building up to, to finally happen. 

“AEUUGHG You’re Just an action anime fanboyyy, this is serious plot and excellent story!!” It’s endless exposition, flashbacks that go on way too long, and characters standing around and repeating the same points over and over. Compare how the story was delivered in the previous season. 

6/10

The Promised Neverland (Season 2)

Boy, did this show go off the rails in only a few episodes. What the fuck is even going on in this show anymore?

I ranted about this show on Twitter, but it pisses me off. Season 1 was a well-crafted, suspenseful show about these kids using their brains to unravel the mysteries around them, plan a daring escape from their captors and try to survive in a world of monsters. It was easily one of the best anime of 2019.

Season 2 skips about 80 chapters and off-screens tons of development. Like Norman fucking shows up in season 2, all fine and dandy with his own personal army of freaks. Also he lead his own escape, learned a ton of info AND found a way to auto-kill all their enemies, and we didn’t even get a flashback of any of this. Now Emma’s bitching about saving demons, even though they’re all assholes who probably wouldn’t change their ways even if they could. But she’s an iDeAlIsSTTT!!!!! But she was an idealist last season and had to learn how to compromise when faced with the reality of the situation? And the whole William Minerva plot, which was a major driving force in the last season, was handwaved away and unceremoniously dropped?

So yeah, I dropped it after episode 4 or 5. It’s not even fun to hate-watch I’d give it a 3/10 on its own, but it gets a -2/10 for ruining a great legacy.

Sk8

Free!, except they’re skating instead of swimming. It’s a well-animated show with an interesting premise: undergound gay skateboarding. The battles are fun, the characters (while cliche) are appealing, and it’s fun. And yeah. 

But I dropped this one because Langa is boring as a lead. Canadians, they don’t deserve representation. He’s a fine character besides that, but he’s gotten way too much screentime over the other protag, Reki. Reki was just pushed aside and the show quickly became about Langa. Which is sad, because I feel like this show would have benefitted from making them both stars. Especially since the characters’ friendship is a key selling point.

Ended up dropping this show. I read through later comments that they’re making a plot point about Reki falling behind, but even the fans are having their doubts that he’ll have a satisfactory story. And even if they make him a real protag again, the show’s been so imbalanced that I don’t think it’ll matter. Especially since we only have like 4 episodes left.

6/10

Yashahime

The sequel to Inuyasha, staring Sesshomaru and Rin’s twins, and Inuyasha and Kagome’s daughter. Except 2/3rds of the main cast are dull, and most of the stories are blatant retreads of Inuyasha plots, starring retreads of Inuyasha characters.

Think I’m kidding? The first episode was about Mistress Three-Eyes (Mistress Centipede but with three eyes instead of two) coming to eat the character’s magic sacred jewels. Rainbow fucking pearls, what the hell is this shit plot. Fuck you.

“Euhrghhghgh but they’re just paying homage to the old show!” Nah, they’re fucking ripping it off every step of the way. 

The most frustrating thing about this show is how Moroha, Inuyasha and Kagome’s daughter, is such a great character. She has great dynamics with other characters because she’s so lively. She has the best traits of her parents, while still being unique on her own. Then you have Sesshomaru’s kids, who are just Kagome 2 and Tsundere. The latter has more depth than that, but she’s  not that great anyway.

Guess who’s the focal point of the series? The fucking Kagome knock-off, followed by the tsundere. Moroha is a minor character who is often forgotten by the plot, or reduced to a joke. The already-boring plots are exacerbated by them ignoring best girl to focus on 

And I’m not alone on this, too. Read all the anime forums, pirating websites, and pretty much anywhere talking about this show. Moroha is the most popular character, far and away. People like her way more than the twins. 

4/10

[thebastardofgloucester]

all the posts collating reactions to The Empire Strikes Back or writing mock Rotten Tomatoes reviews to imply that the criticisms of this film aren’t worth paying attention to are just…so missing the point

exactly two works that said what ‘Star Wars’ was existed at the time of Empire’s release in 1980: Star Wars (not yet renamed ‘A New Hope’) and Alan Dean Foster’s 'Splinter of the Mind’s Eye’ (a sequel written in case Star Wars was a flop that could be filmed on a shoestring budget and without Harrison Ford. It’s Wild and puts the lie to the idea that Lucas had any idea where the Skywalker story was going; highly recommend)

in the year of our Lord 2017, The Last Jedi was released as the third film in a revival of a six film, single creative vision franchise, with the added baggage of over two decades of novels, comics, video games, and other media (the only thing ever fully expelled from canon was the infamous holiday special, which, honestly, had greater creative merit than some of the stuff that got to stay)

what’s the point? Expectations. No, not people who didn’t want anything to change and are Mad About It or whatever facile narrative the authors of those blog posts and reviews are using to explain why this film is probably more divisive than the goddamn prequels. The problem is that not only does The Last Jedi clash with decades of fandom, it is even at loggerheads with its sister films in this particular revival. and it doesn’t get the same benefit of the doubt that ESB got because that’s not how franchises and fandoms actually work. you don’t get to ignore everything that came before to tell your own story. they have to work together. 

Sure, not everybody read the EU (and trust me some of them are better off for it). But almost everybody saw The Force Awakens, most of them saw Rogue One, and a fair number of them, old and young fans alike, eagerly consumed the New EU content that offered glimpses into how the events of The Force Awakens came about and what mysteries were set up in what was effectively a reboot rather than a sequel. Generally, you know, regardless of how much you hate 'puzzleboxes,’ it is reasonable to expect that what one film sets up will have a payoff in the next, particularly when the first film takes such care to be sensitive to what the fans want (as JJ and Kasden did with TFA) - because while this is a money faucet for Disney, sure, there’s no point in bringing this franchise back without those fans (and of course, their kids) - and what they got from Rian and the Lucasfilm story team was…a confirmation that they had been wasting their time. It’s all well and good to pull the rug out from under the audience (as this film does incessantly) but it’s cynical bullshit to basically bait them with promo material and the preceding canon and then to deliver on basically nothing and expect everyone to just be okay with it. This film effectively penalizes the people who cared the most and spent the most time engaging with The Force Awakens and rewards people who may not have really been here for what Lucas was selling to begin with. As one review put it, it ‘does not care what you think about Star Wars’.

But when you set expectations as deliberately as Kennedy and the Lucasfilm Story Group did in JJ and Kasden’s TFA, it’s not great writing to blow them to pieces mid-narrative. It’s just lazy. the idea that Rey has no connection to the Skywalker line? a good idea, potentially, but clumsily executed, as it is played out less as an important revelation and more an excuse to not actually give any kind of answer to how Rey came to be Ben’s equal on the Light (or why she even is ‘Light’ honestly; I love Angry Rey but there’s seemingly no danger in her temptation) or where she got a skill set rivaled in this franchise only by literal Space Jesus Anakin Skywalker. Snoke is a one-noted villain; having him be betrayed by Kylo in the midst of his own villain arc? a very good idea. it belongs as the climax of the film, not the end of act 2 so there is no time for anything to breathe, just more never-ending crises and hardship.

Like, spare me the 'force visions are unreliable’ (Rey’s was unlike anything we had seen before, it wasn’t Anakin’s nightmare or Luke on Dagobah) bs; the film didn’t say that what Rey saw was wrong for x reason, it just pretended that it never happened and Rey didn’t say anything about it); spare me ‘our heroes have to fail and sometimes all the plans don’t work out’ we know that, we live in the real world of 2017 but while making your clever point you have wasted the presence of three extremely talented actors of color, and let down the audiences waiting for a chance to see people who look like them be the heroes for once. instead it turns out they didn’t actually matter all that much, but maybe next film! 

It’s not clever. It’s not visionary. It’s cheap, it’s cowardly, and it isn’t actually that original because the film leaves us exactly where we expected. Poe is the leader and Leia’s heir to command, Finn is a newly-committed Rebel brimming with unrealized potential, Rey is a Jedi character (amorphously defined) who we know exactly as much about as we started, Luke is gone, even if he went out in pretty spectacular fashion, Carrie’s death means that Leia will be leaving us soon, and Kyle Ben has become the big bad. That’s the only real development - Snoke’s death and Ben’s rejection of his redemption - and it’s buried under Rey, our erstwhile heroine, being a vehicle for the villain’s character development. The only character this film particularly cares about is a white fascist who gets every chance to be redeemed and rejects them while the film expects us to keep caring. 

So, yeah. People are mad. Not because of the same ‘the series is changed forever now’ shit that the haters of ESB were on about. Because the real changes? Ben being the real villain, the smallfolk of the galaxy being the source of light and conduits of the Force? I don’t see anyone complaining all that hard about them. 

the complaints are about the damage done to beloved characters for…not all that much of a payoff. the misuse and marginalization of the characters of color. the disdain with which the script treats the nostalgia of the Force Awakens. the unrelenting pace of the film that just grinds the Resistance (and the audience) down and just tells them to trust us, even as more and more and more is taken away. Rey’s parentage isn’t the only thing cast aside - promises of developments in Finn’s story - his identity, his potential to cause a revolt in the First Order, even his force sensitivity (you want a force user from nothing? how about a child soldier from a nameless family who as we are continually reminded used to be on sanitation crew) - are broken. Rey has her dream of family taken away…and replaced with…well the film doesn’t really bother to say because she’s a plot device for most of act 3. We don’t get to see her reject Ren and leave him. Because this isn’t her story; it’s his. Kylo is unconscious, so the scene is over. Tell me how that is a satisfying arc for our erstwhile protagonist? Poe’s character is completely uprooted from what we’ve seen before to make him an obnoxious hotheaded menace whose emotions threaten the survival of the Resistance if two old white women aren’t able to keep him in check. Rose says a lot and gets to do almost nothing. Luke…Luke is torn down to justify the fall of Ben Solo, never given the chance to establish a meaningful bond with his erstwhile successor, and is only given the chance to atone by acting as a diversion to give the others time to escape. he dies alone, a failure, even if he is at peace with how things turned out.

last year we were shown a movie in the wake of one of the more traumatic political events in the life of the people on this website where a diverse and sympathetic cast fight hard and are entirely wiped out. But their deaths come in a spectacular and charged finale that carries the desperation and grief and pathos through into the beginning of the story we know and love. it all feels worth something. Rogue One has its flaws as a film but it comes together in a way that The Last Jedi does not. In the end, what Jyn and Cassian and the others do is just enough to get the plans away, to start the sequence of events that will lead to the Empire’s destruction.

Here?

there’s just not enough left. not enough of the Resistance, not enough story, not enough hope. 

to have that hope repeatedly stripped away and cynically exploited through a narrative that drags the characters from crisis to crisis without bothering to justify itself or its role in the story (while retreading the highlights of Episodes V and VI without the emotional depth to back them up), and in so doing wears down the audience as much as the characters is not why I have devoted so much of my life and emotional energy to this series about space wizards and their galaxy-destroying family squabbles and eventual chance for redemption. for all his many, many faults, George Lucas understood that.

you can’t just talk about hope. sooner or later you have to see it. You have to feel that what you are suffering will be worth it. The text needs to tell you as much. it’s clumsy and cliched and it is necessary. In the Empire Strikes Back, after Han is captured and Luke is beaten, the turning point is Lando. Lando changes the course of the movie, rescuing Leia and Chewie, who rescue Luke. They live to fight another day, and at the end they are wounded but among friends. 

the moment in The Last Jedi where that could have happened was when Leia’s signal went out. How terrific would it have been if after being betrayed by a scoundrel the original scoundrel with a heart of gold, Lando Calrissian, arrives at the head of a fleet made up of all the alien races so inexplicably missing from the sequel trilogy so far, fending off the First Order long enough for the Resistance to escape with most of the survivors on Crait?

But Rian had to have one last twist of the knife. so nobody came. only Luke, and only as a distraction to buy time that ultimately cost him his life and reduced his legacy to giving everything to atone for his past sins. there is no Lando moment. there is no turning point, no moment where a larger victory is hinted at. and no, a single stable boy far, far away from the war is not the same thing. It makes an interesting point about the force and the metanarrative of Star Wars. It is not what this film needed after everything it put its characters and audience through.

and so at the end I’m not hopeful. I’m just tired. So, very tired. And I miss what made me fall in love with this series about space wizards and the Skywalker family in the first place

[the-desolated-quill]

Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Quill’s Quickies (No Spoilers)

This year, Star Wars has been almost mired in controversy. From the loot box controversy in EA’s Star Wars Battlefront II to the noticeable lack of non-white characters in The Last Jedi’s marketing. Rian Johnson making a total prat of himself by claiming that Kylo Ren is a dual protagonist with Rey, and now the reviews are in it turns out Episode 8 is the most divisive movie in the whole franchise, with critics clambering over themselves to praise the movie for its ‘bold new direction’ while the fans decry it as the arse-raping of their collective childhood. On the whole, I’d say this has been a complete and total cock-up.

I had no idea what to expect going in. I’m sure you all know how lukewarm I was about The Force Awakens. It didn’t surprise me in the slightest that the critics were praising the hell out of The Last Jedi considering they were doing the same thing with the previous film, which in my opinion was mediocre at best. The fan reaction surprised me. After all the blind (and arguably undeserved) praise The Force Awakens got, if even the fans are struggling to find good things to say about this movie, something must have gone spectacularly wrong.

So what did I, diehard Star Wars fan and professional arsehole, think of The Last Jedi? Well honestly I’m disappointed I didn’t hate it more. Truthfully I liked this movie about as much as I liked The Force Awakens, which is to say not very much. Like The Force Awakens, it’s a competently made movie and it’s possible to derive some enjoyment from it if you switch your brain off for two and half hours, but otherwise it’s just yet another tired retread of the original Star Wars movies that brings absolutely nothing new to the table. Not for the first time, I feel a real disconnect from the rest of the Star Wars community here. I have no idea why the critics are praising this movie for being a game changer because there’s genuinely nothing very revolutionary or groundbreaking going on here, and I’m confused as to why the fans have chosen to fling their bile and venom at a movie that, in my opinion, is the very definition of average. I mean sure, The Last Jedi isn’t very good and there were some bits that did kind of annoy me, but there’s nothing about it that’s outrageously offensive as far as I can see.

Let’s start with the things I liked. The biggest, shiniest gold star has to go to Finn. He was quite possibly the only new character I was in any way invested in last time around, and he’s just as brilliant here. We see him slowly embrace his new role as a hero of the Resistance and we also see him get the chance to stick it to his First Order oppressors, which I thought was quite emotionally satisfying. He’s joined by Rose, played by Kelly Marie Tran, who I thought was a nice addition to the cast and who undergoes the traditional everyman turned hero journey. I really liked her relationship with Finn and their scenes together are by far the highlight of the film, which makes their subtle erasure from the Star Wars marketing campaign all the more offensive to me because, as far as I’m concerned, they’re the main characters. They were the most developed, the ones I was most invested in, the only ones that actually grow and develop over the course of the film and who pretty much drive the plot.

The other thing I liked (and I can’t believe I’m saying this) is Kylo Ren. I really wasn’t impressed with him in The Force Awakens because he was pretty much just a shitty rehash of Darth Vader, and I mentioned in my review at the time how it might have been better to embrace the more weaselly and slightly pathetic nature of the character to help better distinguish him and give him his own identity. So I’m extremely pleased to see that’s exactly what this film does and it’s great. There’s no pretence anymore. Kylo Ren is this spoilt, impotent man-child that desperately craves power and attention, but doesn’t really know what he wants to do with it, and that’s glorious. That’s just the burst of inspiration the character sorely needed and Adam Driver does a great job with this new material. I’m actually looking forward to seeing where he goes in the next film and if they handle it well, he should make for a very unique antagonist (that’s antagonist Rian Johnson. AN-TAG-GON-NIST).

It’s just a pity that in order to prop up Kylo Ren, Rian Johnson felt the need to completely warp Luke Skywalker’s character into something wholly unrecognisable.

Yes now we come to the bad stuff, and there’s quite a bit. My main gripe is with Luke’s characterisation. In order to justify a lot of the plot, they have to make Luke this cynical halfwit and there are loads of moments where he says or does something that just simply doesn’t ring true with what we already know about him. His reasons for his exile are utterly out of character for one thing and his reasons behind his provocative statement that ‘it’s time for the Jedi to end’ are even more ludicrous. What’s worse is that the majority of the movie is dedicated to Rey trying to persuade Luke to come out of exile and rejoin the fight. Remember the scene in The Empire Strikes Back when Luke tries to persuade Yoda to train him? Well imagine that dragged out for an hour and a half. That’s pretty much the movie in the nutshell. I think that’s part of the reason why I loved Finn and Rose so much. Because it was a blessed relief to get off that fucking island for a while. There were several moments where I came close to dozing off.

I’m sure it’s no secret to anyone by this point that Rian Johnson has played pretty fast and loose with the Star Wars canon. Luke’s odd characterisation is one example. There are a few others. None of them truly insulting in my opinion. But the most notorious is a scene involving Leia, which I will hereby refer to as ‘The Scene.’ This got a lot of Star Wars fans riled up, but I personally thought it was absolutely hysterical just because of how random and idiotically daft it was. I’m not going to tell you what happened in ‘The Scene’ because this is a non-spoiler review. All I can say is you’ll know it when you see it.

Of course this was Carrie Fisher’s last film before her untimely death and that’s incredibly sad. Does The Last Jedi offer a fitting tribute to Princess/General/Queen (she’s a a Queen in my eyes) Leia Organa? Not really. In fact, outside of ‘The Scene’, Leia doesn’t really do anything worthy of comment. Some say she was mischaracterised too, but I don’t think so. At a push, I could see Leia doing some of the things she does. I just wish Fisher could have been given something with actual substance.

My views on Poe and Rey remain virtually unchanged. Poe Dameron is still a one dimensional cardboard cutout and I’m still continuously baffled as to why people like him so much. He doesn’t have a character. We’re two movies in and we still haven’t learnt a single sodding thing about him. Frankly I’ve seen fossils with more life in them. Rey meanwhile is still quite possibly one of the blandest protagonists I’ve ever seen. I’m struggling to find any reason to actually give a shit about her. Why should I be invested in her Jedi training? Why does she even need Jedi training when she seems capable of pulling any random superpower out of her arse at the convenience of the plot? At no point have these films ever given me a reason to care about her. Maybe if they focused more on her looking for her missing parents, I might be slightly more invested. And that’s another thing. In The Force Awakens, her missing parents are basically used as sequel bait. Here (without giving too much away) they’re pretty much just swept under the carpet entirely, which begs the question why was JJ Abrams wasting our time with them in the first fucking place (yes I am blaming JJ Abrams instead of Rian Johnson because Abrams was the one that actually came up with this shit and it’s very much reminiscent of his bullshit ‘mystery box’. The principle where an audience are naturally drawn to some big unknown or mystery and that he frequently utilises in his projects, most notably the TV series Lost. What he often forgets however is that good mysteries tend to have a satisfying fucking answer at the end).

And that’s pretty much all I have to say really. No doubt some of you are disappointed I haven’t quite given The Last Jedi the vengeful pummelling you’ve come to expect from me, but honestly I can’t work up the energy to get properly angry at it, and that’s largely because I’m past caring about this sequel trilogy. I think I’ve made my views on the sequel trilogy quite clear by now (that they’re a soulless cash grab concocted by studio execs who wouldn’t recognise a decent script if one jumped up and bit them on the arse) and I think it’s my total lack of interest that kind of shields me from some of Rian Johnson’s ‘creative’ decisions. These movies don’t count as far as I’m concerned. I’m not especially bothered by Johnson’s ‘reimagining’ and there’s nothing truly terrible going on here. The only crime The Last Jedi is really guilty of in my opinion is that there’s large swathes of it that are just really, really boring. And the main reason for this (apart from the obscenely long running time and a plot that drags its feet) is because, like with The Force Awakens, a lot of this stuff has been done before and done better in the original trilogy. While The Force Awakens ripped off A New Hope and a few elements from The Empire Strikes Back, The Last Jedi rips off The Empire Strikes Back and a few elements from Return Of The Jedi. What makes it slightly more egregious here is that The Empire Strikes Back and Return Of The Jedi are both very emotionally charged stories that rely on three films’ worth of character development and buildup to make an impact, whereas The Last Jedi just blunders in, trying to replicate these emotional moments, but fails to recognise what made them so powerful to begin with and hasn’t done any of the legwork to make us feel truly invested in what’s going on, and thus it has all the impact of a feather duster.

So that’s The Last Jedi. A pointless and mediocre middle chapter to what has so far been a pointless and mediocre trilogy. The one bright side is that now it appears they’ve finally rehashed all they can from the original trilogy, there’s a chance we might finally get to see some original ideas in Episode 9. Unless they’re planning to ripoff the prequels next. In which case Disney must be more creatively bankrupt than I thought.