#it hurts too much to even talk

[strwbrryfire]

now i'm the one going ahead

from little women (1994)

[skunkes]

[silusvesuius]

testing out drawing maormer 🪸🐚🪸 and a nelvas 🧣📜🩷 i'll ramble about maormer a bit in the tags

[rebouks]

Previous // Next

Oscar: So… [Robin sighed dramatically; he could’ve guessed where this was going even if he wasn’t privy to his father’s thoughts] Oscar: What’re you gonna do, sue me for not believing you? Robin: [snorts] He’s not bothering me, dad. Oscar: So, why don’t you talk to him-.. or anyone else at school for that matter. Robin: People don’t usually care what you’re saying, they’re just waiting for their turn to talk. Oscar: C’mon, not everyone’s like that. Robin: Okay.. but what if they don’t like what you say? Like, I say something and they think – oh, that was weird – and then I’m like, wow I wish I hadn’t said that and it’s super awkward and cringe. [Robin fiddled with his fingers, intent on convincing Oscar that anxiety was the culprit. It was easier than explaining the truth; that he could barely think straight amongst everyone else’s thoughts, that couldn’t be arsed, didn’t see the point, found people boring, yada yada] Oscar: Y’know people don’t usually think that whilst you’re talking, right? It’s mostly in our own heads. Robin: Okay, dad. Oscar: Wow, can’t imagine where you get that sarcasm from… Robin: ‘Course not… They do though-.. think that, y’know. Oscar: I think that’s just the social anxiety talking, spud. Robin: And? Oscar: And, you’ve gotta work on your fear-… Robin: It’s not a fear, it’s a fact. [Oscar rolled his eyes as Robin sloped off; it was like arguing with himself] Oscar: Robin… Robin: See, you didn’t like my response so.. point proven, huh? [Robin hovered by the doorframe, wearing a smirk so similar to his own that Oscar couldn’t help but chuckle fondly] Oscar: Tch, get outta here! Robin: Love you, byeeeee. Oscar: [snort laughs] Love you too, bud.

[writer-room]

Hey. The Finders have no idea that Bonzle was captured. Fritz and Spitz are still waiting, playing video games in the Monastery, for Cole to bring their sister out of hiding now that the blood moon is over. Geo is still sitting by the window, watching and waiting for a dragon on the horizon to return his kid safe and sound. Cole took a very unsure Bonzle, assured them all everything would be okay, and they'd be back soon. He promised he'd find a way to protect her.

Don't think about how they'll smile when Cole finally trudges back, happy to know he's okay. Especially don't think about the Finders stopping, looking out over the group, and how Cole can't look them in the eyes when they turn to him and ask; where's Bonzle?

[wannabemasterofwindintraining]

So like we all know that ninjago pulls inspiration from other Asian cultures not just Japanese culture right?

Well does this apply to only ninjago? (Like the realm not the show)

We don't really see much of the other realms but are they also solely based on asian cultures or are they free to pull from any culture

[vigilskeep]

ranking da love interests on a scale of how unhinged theyd be if their beloved was made tranquil (they would all be maximum unhinged its just a matter of deciding what flavour)

[chayannesegg]

honestly I think it’s kinda interesting how phil’s relationships with wilbur, tallulah, chayanne & tubbo are all reflecting back into his view of sunny tbh. like he has such complex delicate interwoven dynamics with all of them and it all gets thrown onto sunny, this poor kid who he loves in theory, but in practice is a stranger to him. 

like wilbur left tallulah in phil’s care and didn’t come back. even now way after he was initially supposed to, wilbur hasn’t returned (that one day aside). and phil, who had already taken on a big commitment watching tallulah, has been left permanently with two eggs in his sole care. and even though he loves tallulah and wil, and won’t want them out of his life, this is a stress for him. it’s a big undertaking for anyone, to care for two kids alone, but especially since tallulah required a lot of changes in his life.

for better or worse, in many ways phil sees chayanne as an extension of himself. they’re similar in a lot of ways, and often on the same page, and it means phil often struggles to catch up when chayanne’s emotions aren’t on the same page as him. we’ve seen this week, phil having such a hard time understanding the depth and breadth of chayanne’s grief. when he catches on, he usually does a good job empathising and talking it through, but when he doesn’t, he really doesn’t and it can be hard to watch. 

the same is NOT true for tallulah. he has, through hard work and practice, learnt how to identify her emotions. he had to. she needed it. she would have been miserable otherwise. she desperately needed asked for the emotional care and birthdays and consideration that chayanne would never ask for. and he’s good at it—tracking her moods, knowing what upsets her & what she cares about in a way that doesn’t come as naturally with chayanne (or sunny or tubbo or anyone else really expect maybe wilbur). but that took A LOT of time and effort, months of work, and I do think he’s a bit wary of the idea of having to do that again, even when it comes to people he loves like chayanne (or god forbid tubbo).

now tubbo is not wil. tubbo is not phil's son. but he’s still not dissimilar to wil in phil’s mind. whatever the backstory is, phil introduces tubbo to tallulah as an old friend of him and wil’s. he makes tubbo his kids’ godfather. he calls tubbo his boy. he looks out for him. but past those first few weeks, their relationship doesn’t progress. they mean a lot to each other bc of their pasts, but they don’t put any work into upkeeping their relationship and phil in particular doesn’t reflect at all on what how that changes their dynamic. and it does change it—this is clear in purgatory, with phil having zero trust in tubbo to protect chayanne and tallulah, and after, with tubbo endlessly poking at phil’s sore spots trying to illicit a reaction he’ll never receive. 

it's also clear in the way phil has no understanding of what’s going on with tubbo. if he’s struggling to grasp chay’s emotions, he’s not even touching what’s going on in tubbo’s head. tubbo’s death makes no sense to him. it’s sudden. it’s random. it’s illogical. it’s stupid. he wasn’t joking about having two lives? he still took a death bet with richas? he’s not come back? he can’t come back? he’s left phil with distraught kids for no reason with no warning. he doesn’t see the erratic suicidal behaviour, the unending depression, the desperation to be loved. he doesn’t want to see it. he doesn’t want something to be wrong with tubbo, but he also doesn’t even know how to see what’s wrong. he’s annoyed he’s having to deal with it and he desperately desperately wants to believe this is all happening for no reason.

bc at the forefront of phil’s mind is still his love for tubbo. of course, phil would drop everything to help tubbo (if he could recognize something was wrong). of course, he would care for sunny as his own. of course, he would make the same sacrifices he’s made for wil. and he assumes he’ll have to. he thought that sunny would now be under his care. that he’d have to figure out the logistics of a third egg to care for. with wilbur, phil was the only person who could ever have taken care of tallulah. the only person he trusted, the only person who knew tallulah enough. now this isn’t true for tubbo. it’s a genuinely illogical assumption for phil to make: three eggs would be a genuine burden on him; they've never spoken about it; there’s a long list of people who would tubbo expects for sunny before; and he doesn’t even know sunny well enough to name these people for her as comfort.

but still in the moment, alone with tubbo’s eggs and dealing with everything he left behind, phil can only think that the exact same thing that happened before will happen: he alone will be left to care for another scared hurt kid of someone he loves.

and here we come to sunny. a kid whose dad he loves. a kid whose dad he doesn’t understand. a kid whose dad is suddenly gone like his son is gone. a kid who would need him like his daughter needs him. a kid who his son needs to protect. a kid he cares for. a kid he can’t afford to care for, a kid he wasn’t expecting to care for, a kid he doesn’t know how to care for, a kid he would care for if he needed to, a kid he doesn’t know why he’s been left to care for. a kid who is somehow a reflection of all these people he loves but not someone he knows at all.

idk i think this tension comes out in the a lot of the comments phil makes of and to sunny. he doesn't know them well enough to distinguish them from his relationships with other people. and as long as no one challenges him on that, we'll continue to hear these misplaced comments from him, that come across so insensitively, even as he tries his best to genuinely help them and their dad.

[tblsomedoodles]

Some Venus ideas

seriously debating on adding Venus to FW so here's some early designs. (like i'm not sure i'll keep the eyebrow marks, they look kinda funky at times). Mostly b/c them having another sister would be adorable. And it would piss Draxum off, which would be hilarious (for reasons i'll explain.)

some more about her under the cut. But it's mostly just random brainstorming i did at 3am

18 yo (3 years older than Raph)

Mutated Ornate Wood Turtle (using some of Lou's DNA.) (so no spider traits.)

Technically their Half sister since Big Mama's not her mother. (not that that will stop Mama from mothering her. She'd get her own room in the hotel and everything : ) )

Was mutated 'first' to test the mutagen.

She was 5 when the boys were mutated.

Venus got misplaced during resulting explosion. eventually found and taken in by the Library Bats. Which is exactly what pisses off Draxum b/c he knows exactly where she is but the bats refuse to give her back to him lol. And no one messes with the bats. (he's got thrown into the kiddy room several times for trying lol)

she's very quiet, shy, and very anxious about and unsure how to socialize with people in general. (✨social anxiety✨)

I don't think she's much of a fighter. like at all. Pretty sure the only way she would fight would be mystics (ie standing in the back taking magic missile esc pot shots wizard style.) she might actually be more of a pacifist than anything. I'm getting the feeling that she wants little to do with fighting or violence personally. Like she wouldn't judge her siblings on it, but she doesn't want to participate. (the only exception being that if someone/thing is hurting said siblings. b/c once she's emotionally attached to those kids, anything seriously trying to hurt her siblings do not get the luxury of her just standing by.)

that's about it.

and a meme about how thoroughly this au is going off track.

[a-tale-of-legends]

( random conversation I thought of, not sure if it's something that I would consider canon. Might be ooc for characters)

Blue: Aaaaand that's everything that happened today! Which.... isn't a lot but whatever.

Red: ....

Blue: .....( Leans back) Sooooooooo. How's things for you? You haven't, ah, really said much since you came back down Mt. Silver...( Tries to perk up a bit,forcing a smile) You're usually such a chatter box, you know?! Gotta be something interesting for ya today, right?

Red: .....

Blue: ........( Grimaces slightly, still trying to keep smiling. His voices lowers, as if the whole world would hear if he goes any louder) Come on Red, you- throw me a bone here, something-

Red: ( his eyebrows furrow slightly) .....

Blue: ( immediately back pedals) O-only if you wanna, I don't - you don't - ( he sighs, exasperated) Green? H-have you at least talked to Green?

Red: ( he flinches at that. The punch to his face still fresh in his mind. It was a year ago. And even so-) .....

Blue: ( he should back off. He really should-) Your mom? Have you at least talked to your mom?

Red: ( that causes him to outright glare at his....friend? Rival? Babysitter? What are they now? He doesn't know. But he doesn't like this conversation.) . . . .

Blue: R-right! Right, of course you- ( he takes in a breath. Why does he feel so sweaty.) Sorry. Sorry, that was just- Let's just forget I said anything, yeah?

Red: ( his glare softens, looking at his....whatever they are to each other, with concern. He doesn't know if he'll get used to Blue Oak apologizing for anything ever. He raises his hand to sign-)

Blue: ( he raises his hand before Red does, eyes pleading) Let's just forget I said anything, okay? ( Please )

Red: ..... ( He lowers his hand. He hates the look blue is giving him. He blames himself for it, as always) ( Okay )

[matchalovertrait]

Noemí and Erick have started to work out a little bit. With their 40s around the corner, they want to make sure they live long, healthy lives!

[hallowclave]

What a whimsical looking young man I wonder if he has received any job offers recently

Original photo

[sledge-in-space]

John Seed is a comfort character for some people. Folks like to ship him with their deputies or craft redemption arcs for him.

There's nothing wrong with that, obviously.

But I just can't wrap my head around it.

There's nothing comforting about the way John Seed treated Joey Hudson. I don't understand why the ordeal she went through doesn't seem to matter to fans of his.

She was bait for the rookie deputy and nothing more, because she wasn't going to give in and join the cult.

He terrorized Joey and the rest of Fall's End, stooping to the lowest, most inhumane levels to get his way. Some even theorize that he hurt the "sinners" in his care just because he wanted to, for malicious, sadistic reasons that didn't have anything to do with the cult. At worst, some people go as far as to speculate that he raped Joey.

It's easy to see why someone might come to that conclusion. The way he acts is deplorable and he makes everything feel extremely personal, sometimes in ways that can be interpreted as sexually charged. He'll do anything in order to get his way because "no" is antithetical to him. He regularly flies off the handle, so much so that Joseph is threatening to cast him out. All the touching and getting right up in the player's face is so uncomfortable and obsessive (which is the point, but I digress).

So why does he get to be redeemed and venerated by fans? Don't his actions warrant consequences?

Are people willing to let him off the hook because he's attractive? Because he had a horrible, abusive childhood? Obviously he's got a lot more lore than most of the cast. Is that something people are interested in exploring for him over other characters?

I'm not trying to come after anyone personally. There's nothing wrong with liking villains and Jacob, Faith, and Joseph have also done terrible things to innocent people.

Which is like, fine. It's a video game.

And I know that John, like Joey, is a victim of Ubisoft's choppy, inconsistent writing and storytelling. Things got changed and swapped and cut during development that got us to where we are, with the story we have. Flaws and all, not like it was ever going to be perfect.

But in my opinion, I feel like the adoration for John does a huge disservice to Joey. People make thirsty edits of him while she's literally tied up behind him. It's tasteless and makes the optics of her situation look even creepier.

Her pain has largely been ignored for as long as the game has existed. I can't for the life of me figure out why.

[ntj2pj]

[codacheetah]

It's deeply important to me that Loop kind of sucks

[smalltimidbean]

hey bean, I think it would be cool if you drew lavender and chamomile kissing for pride month ^_^ just a suggestion ofc, only if u wanna!!

Either way I hope you're having a good pride month >ᴗ< stay safe and joyful!!

^Silly

Silly aside; I'll consider it! I am still a little apprehensive to post clones being outwardly romantic, but if I stop being a weenie about it, then it'll probably be after I finish these refs

Also, not great at drawing kisses, especially with characters with big noses - like where does that thang go???