#it makes me feel disgusting just know how much i wasnt ready for any of it but he wanted to so i had to

[etfrin]

god okayokay

reader is dewey and gale's daughter and apart of the "core 5" (reader, mindy, chad, tara and sam) and dated amber freeman in the past. though has severe ptsd from what had happened a year ago (and the fact that reader saw her dad die and almost died with him, if it wasnt for the fact that they managed to stable her) and reader killed amber to avenge her father thinking by killing amber brutally would make up for dewey. thought if she hunted down her father's killer, she'd feel better.

present time, she's living with chad and ethan in their dorm. her and ethan are in a relatively healthy relationship, but she never opened up about amber or what exactly happened back in woodsboro because she wasnt ready. in fact, he never even seen her without a shirt on (because of the scars from amber and richie), but once he walked in at the wrong time while she was changing in complete accident (since they share a room) and he apologizes PROFUSELY but he cant help but stare. hes not even disgusted hes just kind of mesmerized by her. she gets insecure abt them and he lays her down and asks her abt them, how she got them. some scars were actually from stupid little things like slipping on a skateboard while carrying around a knife in a sheath that wasnt secured all the way so reader started carrying around switchblades after that (which she used to kill amber.) but he cant help but kiss them and tell her abt how beautiful she looks with them. so im just saying switch virgin! ethan and switch experienced reader (lost her v card to quinn first staying there but its a brief thing and isnt mentioned after that) just really soft sex between the two, ethan being a caring bf and after, realizes hes fucked up because hes genuinely fallen heads over heels for the girl he should hate. he knows he cant kill her, so now he doesnt know whats more important; avenging richie or being with the one he loves. choosing between his family, or choosing a life he wouldn't have with anyone else with someone that he loves more than life itself.

may had of gone overboard but im in love w this whole idea

↳❝Scars | Ethan Landry❞ˎˊ-

Warning - NSFW | p in v sex, fingering (f. receiving), creampie, unprotected sex (wrap it dumbfucks), loss of virginity (Ethan), mentions of murder, scars and Ghostfaces. | lmk if I forgot anything!

| masterlist | bc: @cafekitsune

A/N: okay so this was supposed to be a drabble then it was suddenly 1.6k words (don't ask me what happened), I hope whichever one of you requested this likes it, I TRIED I PROMISE and here's the link to request!

virgin! Ethan Landry x female! Reader

Ethan didn't ask about the scars for a week.

He didn't act any different despite seeing the ugly healed-up wounds all over your skin. Despite some of them being from playing around, most were from your fight with the Ghostfaces.

You thought he would be disgusted when he first saw them, the one second before he had closed his eyes, but there was no visible disgust on his face. Only concern.

And he had apologized so much that you practically pitied him.

Even now that you were on his lap, your lips tangled with his in a heated kiss. His hand on your nape, another hand on your hip. He hadn't ventured far yet, being as respectful as he could be.

All the while you felt yourself getting needy for his touch. After another heated kiss, you pulled back, a string of saliva connecting your lips. Ethan's face was flushed with a crimson red, breathless from the kiss.

The hand on your hip went near the hem of your shirt and you felt yourself tense. "Can I?" He asked softly. You give him a nod, anticipating this time, he would feel disgusted. That he would leave you heartbroken.

He took off the shirt, his breath caught in his chest as your scars came into view.

The gashes were all over your skin. White healed tissue tinged with pink. "How?" He lets out a choked whisper. "Would you mind telling me how?" He said, again, his eyes looking into your so tenderly with no hint of disdain.

Taking in a deep breath, you nod and begin to tell your story, everything from your father dying and you killing Amber to get revenge, for the wounds you got from the fight. Everything.

"I know they aren't the prettiest to look at," you whispered, "I know I understand if you don't want to stay with m-" "Don't even finish that sentence," Ethan interrupted.

"Don't," he said in a firm tone, making you look up at him. His eyes were filled with tears even if they didn't fall, he pulled you in for a hug. "You went through so much," he whispered, his voice filled with emotions, filled with care and love.

"Let me take care of you, they're not pretty but they're a part of you and I love these scars just as much as I love you." He said you felt yourself nearly getting to tears as well from his words but held yourself back.

"Okay," you whispered, "Take care of me."

And that's how you end up under him, bare for his lips to kiss all over your scarred skin. You let out encouraging purrs as his kisses travel down from your neck to your collarbone. A small cut was there due to negligence while handling knives. He licked the edges of the scar. You sighed as he continued to worship your body.

He finally reached your torso, and a huge gash was there. He had stopped kissing your skin now, staring at the pinkish tissue that was a huge contrast against your skin.

'Now,' you thought to yourself, 'He's gonna realize that you're just not worth it, not with all the baggage and the scars on your skin that come with it.'

"I wish I could kill them," he whispered, his lips brushing against the scar. His words made you melt because it was tinged with truth. There was no doubt in his mind that he would kill them if he had the chance.

He pressed wet kisses onto the scar, making you let out a small sigh. He then crawled on top of you again. His voice was filled with nerves as he whispered, "I have never done this before."

You cup his face with both of your hands and pressed a small kiss on his forehead. "I have," you whispered, you had lost your virginity to Quinn so you were at least aware of what you liked or not.

"I could teach you," you offered, "Figure out what we like or not together." His doe eyes fill with relief and he gives you a smile as an affirmation.

"I would love that," he said, leaning down for another kiss as his hand traveled down to your soaked panties. He lets out a gasp into your mouth as he feels the material cling to your fold.

He panted, "Oh- you're so wet. Is that all for me, darling?" The way he asked made your cunt clench, so breathless and in wonder. "Yeah, E," you whine as his fingers glide on your clothed pussy, the slight friction making you gush out more juices.

"Can I take it off?" he asked, and you nod. He slides down the panties, and throws them on the floor, making a mental note to take it for himself later.

He pressed his fingers to your folds, sliding them across your cunt until the tip of his finger finds your entrance. You let out a small gasp, feeling yourself clench. "Can I?' He whispered, and again you nod. "Go ahead, E," you whispered.

The first digit enters, making him whimper about how tight you are, and how warm your insides feel. Your inner walls pulsate around the single digit.

He pumps the digit in and out before his index finger also joins. A whimper escapes your lips as your pussy stretches to accommodate his digits. "Is it good?" He asked, the nervousness mixed with heat in his tone.

"Perfect," you assure him, "Just crook your fingers a bit and you'll find a spot, focus on that for me, E." He eagerly does what you asked, his fingers finding your G-spot and pressing into it every time he thrusts his digits inside.

You moan, your hips bucking into his touch. Getting a bit more confidence from your pleasurable sounds, Ethan goes even faster. Your walls begin to pulse with the familiar need to snap the tension that was building but you didn't wanna cum so soon.

"Stop," you whispered and Ethan pulled back immediately with a questioning gaze. "Did I do something wrong?" He asked, concerned, "Did I hurt you? I am sorry."

You chuckled, "Nothing like that, my love. I was close…" You bite your lip, hesitating about saying the words that you knew would sound crude, "Wanna cum on your cock for the first time."

His eyes widened at your request. He nods obediently, pulling off his shirt with one hand and taking off his belt so he can slip out from the rest of his clothes.

His cock looked painfully hard with his cockslit leaking pre-cum all over his length. He stroked his cock to elevate some of his own needs.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," he whispered, as he slotted his girth near your entrance. His cockhead getting coated into your slick. You shake your head, "I want it, Ethan. So much."

He gives you a nod. He buries his face into the crook of your neck as he slowly slides into your warmth. Inch by inch, his cock stretches out your pussy, your inner walls molding into the shape of his length. He lets out whines as his veins sizzle with pleasure.

You felt his dick pulse and twitch as he whined, "Gonna cum. Gonna cum. Fuck, fuck, fuck-" Your hand goes to his hair to harshly tug at the brown curls. Effectively distracting him from the overwhelming pleasure. "Sushh, baby," you whispered, "It's okay. It's okay." He groans, "Babe…" You hum in reassurance. You make your pussy clench around his dick. Your walls squeezing his cock so suddenly makes his hips jerk into you, his cockhead grazing your g-spot.

You moan near his ear. "Like that," you whispered, "Take care of me."

It took him a few more moments to get used to the vice grip on his cock, the wetness, and the warmth before he began shallowly thrust into you.

He pressed kisses all over your neck, your throat, your breasts. Marking the places near your scars so you can remember this night. Both of you let out noises of pleasure.

He begins to thrust deeper than before as your nails dig into his back and he gets faster as well. Humping into you now, his mind getting lost in the sensation of your velvet heat.

"Am I doing all right?" He whines as his hips keep meeting yours. "Perfect," you moan in reply. His hips begin to snap faster, his thrusts deeper than before, filling you up. You moan louder as you keep getting filled with his cock. Your pussy begins to spasm around his length as the heat fills your tummy.

You were getting close with each snap of his hips. "You getting close, baby?" He moans, his lips now brushing against yours. "Cum on my dick, please, babe!" He begs, as he gets more desperate, his thrusts getting sloppy and losing their consistent pace.

Your free hand goes down to your folds to find your clit. Your thumb rubs fast circles onto the bud. You felt the telltale signs of your climax. Your stomach is coiling, just waiting to explode.

"Please, cum on my cock," Ethan whines again, his lips crashing with yours in a filthy open-mouth kiss. That snapped the tension your body was holding, you moaned into his mouth as your pussy began to squeeze his cock repeatedly. Your cunt milking his cock for all its worth. As soon as he feels your inner walls spasm and contract with a shallow thrust, he begins to cum.

He pants as his cum leaks out, too fucked out to pull out. You were both tired. Both emotionally and physically drained, it doesn't take long for you to sleep.

Ethan lays awake though, feeling the heat of your body beside him. Hearing you breath. He closed his eyes, and an image was in front. In which you're dead and cold.

He couldn't have that. He can't kill you anymore. Not after this. Not after promising forever with you, not after marking you and kissing your every scar.

He would have to choose in the future and he would choose you.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

i had sex for the first time and it was kind of a horrible experience. i was checking out a bdsm club for the first time and a man in his 50s invited me to check out a different (sex) club the next day and bc i genuinely, idiotically thought he just wanted to introduce me to the scene and show me around i went. at the club he bought me a couple drinks, we talked and then he took me to a private room and went down on me. i didnt say no bc i was drunk and curious, and im bad at saying no to people in general. i thought maybe it would be fun. i wasnt into it at all but felt too bad to let him know. i faked an orgasm and left after a while. as we parted he kissed my cheek and said he hopes we can be friends. drunk me told him of course we could. the next morning i was hit with the worst wave of self loathing ive ever felt in my life, as well as just general disgust and regret. i cannot believe my first time was with an old man i feel zero attraction to. i already knew im probably a lesbian, but still i keep trying to be with men and i dont know why. i guess my question is do you have advice on how to get over a sexual experience you regret? how do i come to terms with the fact that my first time was with someone i feel grossed out just thinking about? and was i taken advantage of? im in my early 20s, he didnt know i was a virgin (i active implied that im not), and i know if i had said no he wouldve stopped. i wasnt falling down drunk or anything. he didnt really do anything wrong. i feel so stupid and ashamed of myself. i just wish my first time had been with a woman. i wish i hadnt been so naive and stupid and i wish i hadnt gotten drunk. i know its not true but i feel like no woman will ever want me now. i cant even masturbate bc the idea of doing something sexual, even just alone, reminds me of him and what i let him do to me. how do i move on from this?

hi anon,

I'm deeply sorry that this happened to you.

in this case, I would say the way to make peace with a sexual experience you regret is to understand that you aren't responsible for what was done to you.

to answer your question - yes, you were absolutely taken advantage of, and this person very much did do something wrong! quite a lot of somethings! he made the choice to lure someone younger and less knowledgeable to a secondary location you weren't familiar with, get you drunk, isolate you, and pressure you into sex that you didn't give enthusiastic consent to. all of that is CLASSIC predatory, manipulative behavior and reflects on him - not you.

you mentioned that you feel stupid; PLEASE don't. people are pressured into unpleasant sex all the time, very often in the exact same way you were: being entrapped in a situation where going along with it was easier than saying no. it's vile! and none of those people are at fault!

listen: you need to be on your side about this. would you tell anyone else who experienced this that they're stupid and naive? I hope not. I really hope you can find the compassion you'd extend to any other friend in this situation to yourself, because you're going to be the #1 person getting yourself through this.

feeling bad and gross about what happened is fine; what happened was bad and gross. please let those feelings happen and care for yourself while they do, because those feelings need to be felt! just be conscientious about which feelings you're indulging. it's fine to feel betrayed, violated, regretful, angry, sad, even to mourn for a better first sexual experience you could have had! just make sure to gently nudge yourself back if those feelings start veering into the realm of feeling guilty or responsible for the situation. not only is it unhelpful, it's not even true!

it's very sad that your first sexual experience was with someone you didn't want who treated you the way he did. in the future, when you're ready, I hope you'll be able to pursue healthier, mutually pleasurable experiences on your own terms. don't rush yourself to get back to any kind of sexuality, masturbation included - a good long break while you sort through your feelings may be very needed. there's no timeline you need to be on to recover from this; please don't get down on yourself for taking the time and space you need. if you don't have anyone in person you feel able to talk with, looking up online support and resources for people who have experienced sexual assault may be beneficial.

also, hey, please don't play the game of trying to say you don't belong in survivor spaces or how this wasn't an assault because your belief that he would have stopped if you'd told him to (a very generous assumption!) or because you led him to believe you had more sexual experience or it could have been worse or whatever. the feelings you're experience in the aftermath are textbook of assault survivors; that means the resources are for you!

also hey. listen to me. look at me. if any woman tries to tell you that you are less worthy of lesbian love and companionship because you have had sex with a man. ESPECIALLY a man who was taking advantage of you. you are going to send me their address and I will personally attack them with a baseball bat.

[spikeinthepunch]

i finished Lisa the painful *again* to get the secret in Definitive edition and now i want to ramble about that, and also the other realizations i had on my second playthrough (spoilers ofc. do note again i havent gotten to Joyful). get ready for an essay

TW for physical and sexual abuse

soooooooooo

this second play was good because there was a lot i hadnt yet connected about the story with Brad, and it hit like a fucking truck when i realized.

For one, I hadnt really understood what Brad's "second chance" actually was. It took me a minute to actually realize Dusty was Rando, and with Dusty's limited appearances I didn't completely recognize him in flashbacks. I did know it was him at the end but the information on him is very very scarce and only now did I realize what happened. And how (as i assume based on the information and my assumptions) Brad's second chance is about Dusty instead, and being a better father to Buddy instead.

Because when I saw that flashback of Dusty apologizing, backed into a corner with a bloody injured face..... and then even thinking back to Brad's convo w Queen in the new campfire stuff- about reprimanding Dusty and Buddy for hugs..... it had me connect the change in behavior. Much like Brad turning tough as a defense, and Dusty learning that too esp with how weak he was. I have to imagine while Brad hasn't been physical against Buddy, he still carries that strict and detached role. I don't know for sure if anything is implied as to what Dusty did later in life- if he ran away or something. But oof! ouch! that fucking slapped me when i connected the dots. and feel free to correct me but also, no spoils on Joyful lol.

And then I get to the secret boss added in Definitive (go sleep at the first campfire after getting 4 boat parts).

boy that was something. like, an hour of my time and lots of suffering. I was playing Painless so it wasnt nearly as awful. but god damn. there is such a strong theme of "you cant escape your abusers. you will become them" through the game, and there is desperation from Brad to not be that. But he hold on to so much guilt and so much anger, he is trapped in a cycle of never getting away from it. Marty lives inside him, like some part of him, that he cant get rid of. actually similar to how Lisa in The First sees her mother inside herself that turns into Marty, showing how he has infected all of her memories and mind-- Marty's influence grips Brad so hard still that parts of him reflect Marty's which in turn keeps the roots deep inside.

theres something also so fucking painful with how Marty is displayed. Honest to god havent seen a story like this ever display such a horrible disgusting character so blatantly... so up front... as a huge focus of the characters' arcs. Every step and every piece of dialog had my flight or fight instinct on high. Definitely more triggering as a abuse survivor but-- jesus I felt like I was constantly on alert, fearing for the worst, trying to read Marty's intents as if to make sure I could tell something worse was going to happen. I could just feel it in my gut and i wanted to leave even when i stayed to keep listening to what he had to say. even something about marty patting the bed beside him and telling Brad to sit down with him got my chest tight.

everything Marty says through the fight makes it harder and harder to bear. While I got stressed every time my dude's died, I kind of also wanted to see more of what he'd say out of curiosity lol... It is so strikingly manipulative. the way Brad's relationship all comes from the idea of masculinity and bloodline and how thats just the way it is... thats the worst part. you could probably assume this is what happened to brad's dad with his dad, and so on. not to put any pity on Marty- just the fact that such things run so hard and so deep, and the fact that Marty pressures it on Brad with implications that he weak or not a real man or a disappointment. after a while none of that even mattered to Brad, he didn't like his father and he couldn't stand it. and yet those people, those abusers, hold power because theyve always told you how you're below them.

it hurts so fucking bad esp after i made my above connection with Dusty. i think its wildly interesting to have a character like Brad. i know i could say a lot about "imperfect" or kinda shitty characters as main characters after playing Disco Elysium, and while DE is a fantastic game (my all time fave) oghhh boy if we need a shitty guy then we definitely need Brad. and like, its still not shitty in an irredeemable way, but like the main of DE. orrr at least, its shitty in a way that you feel like they are trying. theyre truing....something. they trying. maybe for the wrong reason? and theyre fucking up when they dont even know it.

Brad's drive in Painful goes from "father figure wanting to protect his child in a world that wishes to hard her, abuse her, and use her." to "father figure finding a way to atone for his past abusive behavior, by caring for a new child despite being unable to let go of the grip that trauma left on him, thus still repeating the cycle of abuse in ways he doesnt understand".

augh. okay. idk where i am going with this now. but i think that secret boss added a lot and i think it was a good addition (even if they sure love making you climb long ass ropes). I also found it interesting there are two scenarios we know abt brad messing around and putting on makeup. With Lisa he apparently just wanted to get into mom's stuff. and i can imagine with Buddy he willingly did it for her to have fun. like. not saying transfem Brad but. you know. i think thats cute.

but this new thing reminded me much of the surreal stuff in The First and i think that was great bc Painful doesnt have too much about Marty and Brad's relationship outside of the beginning and end. and I dont think its needed-- the game can be played fine without it (and many will likely not see it bc its not stated how to get this boss). but The First had some p interesting visualizations about the abuse and i think its very effective. it makes it more scary. it makes it hit harder. the imagery associated with Marty strikes me harder when I played the First after Painful and saw those Marty spiders in the first game. And then seeing the bile. and the vomiting. and the slimy disgusting way he talks--

sorry, i imagine this whole game's story and this dream is probably super triggering for others too, and it hits a different way. i think its easier to attach to this game due to it. and i definitely wont stop my praise for it-- its hard to recommend but, seriously genuinely cant think of any media thats done it like this and i really enjoy every moment.

[lordmushroomkat]

hi sorry to place a mild rant here i just cant do journaling to myself. So i got diagnosed with pcos and i just got birth control to take. And i dont know how to feel about it. Im genderqueer but not ready to come out and like E was the only option they gave me and since im a teen i didnt know, still dont know, how, if, when i can tell these people that i dont think this is what i want. Im writing this right before im supposed to take my first pill and im scared. Scared i will hate it and will have to live with that because i just cant come out. But im also scared it will make me feel better. Do as my mom says and make me less tired, less cranky. Im scared that when she says that she is doing this because its the best for my health, that she is scientfically right. And my dr even mentioned how i didnt seem to care about anything they were talkin about (pills-side effects, “benefits”) but like after the fact i realized that i could have said that i didnt care because all that she wasnt going to improve my life in any fucking meaningful way. Like body hair? Love it. Or well i would like to remove some not all of it, and not feel like in removing like stomach hair that i was agreeing that i was a women or that hair is disgusting. Because i would remove hair for myself ya know. Not for the preconcieved idea of who i am and how i should look. And acne? If i cared id actually put my acne cream on. Fertility? Dont want children, and they talked about unwanted random fertility but im ace and sex repulsed. Beyond the first visit they didnt even mention cancer. Ive been telling myself im going to take these pills to prevent cancer in uterine lining. And im scared to look up how true thag is. I mean on how e decreases these helath risks. Im scared theyre right. Im scared their wrong. I will fucking riot if they are lying because that means this is for nothing. Im scared it wont give me gender dysphoria, scared i will have dysphoria because it wull peel layers off the dissasosiation i face. and before all this i was planning on making my mom a presentation about intersex people and gender. Because shes supportive just a littl confused and not radical, im radical because grief has made me angry and i want to let her in on it ig. But i dont think i can do that anymore. Because i would have pointed myself out as intersex. Imply she could be too if she liked the label. But im scared that her being cis, and having struggled with weight and eating when she was a teen (and that pcos effects weight) would mean she would hate the idea. Would call me wrong or cite drs. She told me to shave under my arms once, for the convience when traveling light on vacation so that deodorant worked better?? And hours after she said it i realized if i existed for ease i would crase to exist. But im worried whats a good ease for her would be a killer for me. Idk anymore. i guess any advice? But that will probably be to come out and i dont think i can do that. any research or resources that proves im allowed to be angry? I think im just looking for people to tell me im normal for feeling this way. Having a bad day. Thanks for any.. help? Hope this wasnt triggering or anything, i just saw that you were nonbinary with pcos too- and yea. Okay bye

I really don't know if I'm the right person to answer this. I was already out as non-binary for years before I got my PCOS diagnosis. When they said "take these pills" I asked about the other options and they gave me none so I simply refused to take the pills. But I'm like,,, I don't super care about the negative affects of PCOS. I'm casually suicidal all the time and I'll keep living for my family but if something kills me I'm pretty alright with it. I don't really expect to live much longer than like, a handful of decades and like honestly the world is on fire so it'll probably be shorter. So like, my perspective on this is not necessarily a super healthy one? I'm fairly apathetic about my own existence.

But like, I understand your struggle here with wanting to explain the PCOS=intersex connection to your mom but knowing she'll respond poorly because she also has PCOS.

I really don't have any solid advice here. Just... I guess, consider really carefully how you want to feel in your body. If you've been enjoying the superficial changes the PCOS has done to your body with this weird little second puberty, maybe you should consider advocating for yourself a little more firmly about it. Your future health is important but so is your current comfort in your body.

[itwasshrinkage]

greed shame guilt

How do I start,

How do I not use my own perspective,

How can I understand how I make someone like you feel

How can I apologize for something that I could not fully understand

I guess it began when I first wanted you. it was a want. It wasnt mature. It was selfish. It was greed

I never was able to evolve past that when we were together. I took the ideas and concepts that was given to me from the media of how I should treat you.

It was tender, it was a crush, it was puppy love. I wish we could treat each other like that again, without the burden of my ugly nature.

I was never able to treat you correctly or with the respect that I would want you to be treated with.

After the years apart, I could only hope that was what was being done to you. Hopefully someone could make you happy. Hopefully someone could provide the respect that another deserves.

After all the time of calling you my other half, how could I treat you so badly. Now I can take those words and finally understand a bit more. I may be selfish and greedy, so how could I treat my own other half the way I would never want to be treated?

It doesnt make that much sense when I think of it.

At one time I thought I could provide and give the treatment that you would deserve, but even after years of life experience I can see I still havent garnered the qualities it would take to supplement another.

I lacked anything that would be able to provide for others. I take. I dont have anything to give.

As soon as Ive gotten mine, I turn my back and find the satiated feeling to find sleep. All the while you sat there and wondered when you would be given your respect.

I think at that age it just came down to the overwhelming feelings of lust and crush. It wasnt love because I wasnt able to make a two way relationship. It was only me and my own wants.

Im sorry for not realizing earlier, Im sorry for not realizing your perspective on the moments that I was not ready to give myself over to you.

I was controlling and only had my own interests in mind.

I didnt know how to make myself happy so why did I lie to you and myself thinking I could also make you happy. Im still unhappy with myself, where Im at in life, and the way I treat others.

Im sorry.

I reached out to you first and that should tell you exactly how much you mean to me. It should tell you exactly how much you mean to me when you were suppose to be the last person I should reach out to under the circumstances. Both my parents and friends asked why you were involved at any point recently. I lied. I didnt know what else to do or say.

BUt you were the only person I would truly wish would still be there for me even after how badly I treated you.

And its not because I knew you would be there but because I had hoped you would because of the moments that we spent together and how much they meant to us and how they developed us.

Im sorry I again damaged you, I damaged us, with the emotions I brought from elsewhere.

I needed someone to be there for me and support me. You are strong, stable, and successful and yet I still bring my toxic traits to you first.

Im sorry

I need to apologize as well for the orignal act of cheating on you as well. I was greedy. I was gross with want. I was upset with myself and the things I wanted. Im still disgusted with myself.

I wish I could do anything possible to heal you. But here I am apologizing to others and making you feel again left behind. Almost like Im willing to do so much for others but not for you. At times you must feel that I care for so many others and not you. I can see that by the many actions I continue to put upon you.

I wish I could be better for myself but most of all I wish I could be better for you.

Youve made so much progress and I fear that I again just take from you and destroy the steps youve taken to a healthy lifestyle and healthy state of mind because those are the things I myself want.

Theres too many instances that I can no longer remember that Im ashamed of how I treated you. Theres too many instances that Ive hidden from myself because of how they make me disgusted with myself. Theres too many instances to apologize for to even think that they would mean much to you.

Im afraid of losing you forever. I seem to act so despereate and promise anything, when deep down I know ill never be able to uphold the things I say to you.

I seem to think of myself as a good person, when thats not the case at all. I sit here thinking of why such awful things and feelings I have brought upon myself should happen to such a nice person. But I know deep down that Im not that. Im not good. I have nothing to give to others. I have nothing that others would want.

Maybe thats also whats bringing me down so badly. I not only lie to you, the person that means the most to me but also myself. Which continues to lead me even further down this path of misery.

I deserve it and ill try my best to ride the waves that I brought upon myself. Im sorry I brought you along now for part of my experience.

Im sorry that I continue to disrepect you. Im sorry I continue to treat you so badly.

Maybe at some time or another Ill be able to do something for you and allow you to experience the respect and feelings you deserve.

I know I still want our relationship to be there for both of us. I just want to have something for you to benefit from.

I need to change. I need to be better for you. I need to finally allow you to be treated with true respect. I need to feel the actions that were dealt upon me to finally understand the many ways Ive hurt you.

I need to stop thinking of myself and start giving more to you than to my ego.

I need to stop feeling bad for myself and think of the ways Ive made you feel instead.

I hope it doesnt take as long as I would expect it to for such an awful person I am.

Im sorry.

[luckynumbersevenseven]

Last night i was writing a poem on the 580 east coming back from point reyes. Driving fast to give off an air of confidence. And not an air of “i am actually writing a sort of sad really sad poem behind the wheel of a car going at least 20 mph over the speed limit on the freeway at night”. Its not like i havent learned enough lessons. I know the risks. I have been in car accidents, like more by the age of 24 than most people have in their entire life. And still i am risking my life to write a poem. Is that poetic?ughhhh Maybe but also corny and just self destructive. I have stopped romanticising self distruction mostly. I take care of myself now and find reality quite enough to keep me…entertained? Occupied? Satisfied???? I enjoy making my bed every day. I am disgusted by the vacancy in the darkness that once seemed to promise so much to me.

I think about cars a lot. The potential and power they hold. These big metal dogs. And we can hold their leash for a time and pretend we have control. All day! Every day! As a means to an end! We do this forgetting that the dog isnt really a dog but is a machine and was not programmed for empathy. Because you cant program empathy. Machines areimpartial. Like the ocean or a forrest fire in some ways. Undiscerning. Unforgiving. A carless power…but there is no beauty in cars the way there is in the careless power of nature. Because the earth cares in a very differnt way. It does care. And because behind the invention or creation of the bloodless metal car beast is someone who did care and that is where it starts to unravel.

Whatever.

I find i do my best thinking while driving. I cant stop my mind from making poems. And then there is the desperation to not forget! The words that first fit that feeling! Is it worth dying over? The answer is sooooo obvious when i am judging from here in my bed. What the fuck.

I met two 5 day old goats last night. Behind a tarp in a hutch on a property in santa rosa. I was there to see the art of someone i met once and there was a cheesboard and everyone was middle aged and there were no lights by which to see anyones faces. The tiny goats seemed a cold and were shockingly passive to my touch. It was unsettling that something so young and new and small should trust me. I might have bad intentions. I dont even know my own intentions half the time. I have the power to kiss them or to kill them. The capacity or potential or whatever. Like a coiled spring, like how sometimes you think about saying the worst possible thing but you dont. But you could! But it seemed like maybe it wasnt about trust for the little goats? Like they just dont even know enough to trust or distrust. Like they didnt care. Their hair was soft and white still softer than grown goats but maybe not as soft as a lambs. And they were vaguely oily the way any farm animal is. But not smelly. And they did not shy from my touch. Nor did they really seem to welcome it. I dont think either one would have put up a fight if i had picked it up and left with it under my arm. I think it might have gladly slept in my warm bed with me. Impartial. Undiscerning.

When I saw the goats I played out some sort of fairy tale trade in my head. I lost my baby…so i earned this baby. ? Or something? But i forfeited? my baby. I do not get to take another one. A goat baby to replace the baby i know i could not have. Because because i am not ready? I would not love it the way i want to? The way a mother should? The way it would want? It? My baby. My baby.

Oh what do i know…i am living within a hypothetical. Not that the choice wasnt obvious. But the what ifs are soooo tempting.

The things that i wrote in the notes app on my phone while i was driving last night were mostly about the relief in giving up hope. Hope is so exhausting. My friend told me that they read somewhere that hope is similar to fear in its detriment to the mind and body. And i can attest. Like…the way you let out your breath when a door finally closes. Or when you try on something and it doesnt fit. The decision was made for you. Shows over. The relief in saying goodbye and meaning it.

I was thinking about how there is tissue/matter coming out of me following the abortion. It is somehow more clinical than blood. Less romantic. Grosser. I was thinking about how i had the weird urge to eat it. Maybe because in some way it wouldnt feel like a loss. Like in this way im capable of holding on or something. But whatever that metaphor doesnt even work cause id have to shit one day. But also the urge didnt feel metaphorical…just sudden and disgusting.

In my notes I wrote:

I hold onto the rag i used to clean up the spill of you

I live with it under my pillow

Weeping over whats unsung

Or what is sung and never heard because that is sadder

Repeating the lyrics under my breath

So i wont forget

And i got home and i did forget entirely until I read my note. I forgot all about how i would never sing a song to this particular baby. Or maybe any baby of my own. And how that made me want to break for a moment. A moment. Because longer than a moment might be self indulgent. And i am not broken. I just want to be able to break. For a moment. Like i am asking permission. A moment? Is it ok if i just break? I swear just for a moment i will be broken? And then i promise to put myself back together again just like before as quick as i can as good as i can. I promise. But there was nobody there to ask for permission. So i didnt.

The nurse (the one that wasnt my hinge match) asked if i wanted to know if it was twins.

I whispered “i want a hug” to the dark house. And then i cried for the person who said something so sad.

Like a child.

I am doing better though! I make my bed. I make my bed and and i think i am mostly doing better.

I hold myself up to an old picture for size. I use new language to describe my pain. Or whatever. And share the blame. I take the pill. I forgo the rest. I dont even have sex anymore.

Yea yea but here i am. And the blood-dimmed tide is loosed and everywhere.

I didnt write it all down though. In my head i was turning over a line about waking up in the night and confusing the crescent of the face on the pillow next to me –– momentarily illuminated by the passing light from a car––for the moon

Thinking a lot about the moon. About confusing things for the moon. Man made things or earthly things for that big glowing moon. I dont have a good word for the power of the moon though. It is again an undiscerning sort. Is that power? Freedom from the sway of emotion? Freedom FROM choice? Freedom TO choose is one kind of power but its a human kind of power and it only gets you …to like a certain level of power…And dont get me wrong I am not trying to say that a prisoner is more free than the man that takes the train past the prison….

On my drive I was listening to fulsom prison blues (obviously) and also fast car. And those songs are about chosing. And disappointment. And consequence. The consequences of being human and having choices and how lonely and how insatiable. And freedom also. (A beautiless and boring oversimplification of these bangers)And i was thinking about how free I feel driving a car with a full tank on the open road at night with the windows down and the music up (and i am alone and choose the soundtrack without fear of judgement…) and a cigarette and even if that is some synthetic version or trope of freedom it still feels good when it hits the blood stream and ill take that over nothing.

Because i am girl and not a god or the moon.

[oh-for-fic-sake]

The Detectives Den

Masterlist

Summary: walter take you to a cabin for what you thought was a romantic weekend, but he has an ulterior motive afterall mateing season is just arou d the corner~

Warnings: Adult Situations +18, Smut, rough sex, primal sex, male dom, werebear Walter, Mating, Breeding, Turning, Noncon Bite?, claiming bites, soulmates, au shifter

A/n: so here it is! The were bear i started months ago and abandoned but picked up again today because of this post. Typos ahoy!

Taglist: in reblogs

You cried into the matress clawing desperately unsure if it was an attemt to help the huge male above you, or tryingmto escape him. For some reason since being here at the cabin he seemed different? Instead of being your huge soft teddy bwar he was wild, dark and growly both at peace and on edge. It was like he was now this big bad bear of a man, growling and strong all macho 'chop wood and start fire'

You grunted as he rutted harder almost fucking your hips pff the bed sending your feet scrabbling on the wooden floor, your socks sliding on the smooth wood.

"oh god~ sl-slow down! WalteAGH~" you cried out pressing up onto your elbows and stamping a foot on the floor grunting. Walter snarled into your back almost viciously before pressing an open mouthed kiss to your back lappjng the salty skin. He growled feeling his inner beast beat on his own restraint. The beed to uck and bit was almost overpowering. He wanted you dripping, ozzing his cum as he stained your perfect frailty with his venomous bite and change you for the better. He needed it like he'd never needed anything in his life. It was his own fault he was so needy and eager... restless. Hed had you at his side for six months far to lost in his bliss of having his mate he'd all but forgot about the mating season untill he was weeks away.

He snarled grolwing deeper and deeper his inner bears bellows trying to break through damanding you put your head down and take your mating properly. Face down ass up and minimal complaints! The deep sounds echoed through as the harsh breaths and grunts fanned over the sensitive skin of your shoulder blades.

"W-walt! Fuck please- hurry!" You whimpered over your shoulder as the large hands of your lover held you still bent over the bed pinning your hips into the matress and he thundered away, burrying himself to the hilt again and again still trying to feed you every thing he had and more. You cried out as he arched, tipping his hips striking your clit with his heavy sack moaning out his pleasure, the small pats making his cock twitch flexing agaisnt your tight channel as he speared you pryingnyou opene like never before.

These were no calculated strokes, he was fucking you with little care to how you withered and cried at his onslaught. Maybe thats why he brought you out here? You were deep in the woods and no one could hear you scream out your pleasure.

He growled low in his throat again biting back at his beast who was watching as you keened and scrabbled bent over on the bed your bare back glistening, tiny beads of sweat rolling down your sides. The scent of your arousal was enough to make him rabid, he needed this! Needed the release. His instincts were screaming savagely just below His mate! His female! His entierly!

And you were. He'd known the second he'd seen you in the cells. He thougt you were coming to bail out your foster dad who'd been caught at the center of a party filming a snuff film. A dark bdsm practice where the sub was unknowinly 'snuffed out' usually sufficated or break their neck from trying to escape. Either way it was a disgusting practice that was hard to pin blame, who was the one to arrest? The person tying the bonds? The dom? The spectators?

As it turned out you were there to cuss him out and hand in evidence phone records, emails, previous incidences. It turned out your father had been arranging these snuff films as a quiet hitman business silently offing people for a price.

Walter had gone out of his way to protect you, luring you to him with sweet dates and raw sex appeal. It had taken just over two months but he managed to secure a relationship with you. Youd been a couple for six months now, and finally it was time!

Finally he could claim you as his own kind did. Allbeit a tad late with only weeks to get you used to your rightfull place. Beside him. Below him!

He'd managed to et you out here to his den, secluded in the forest for a month long stay, mot that you knew it'd be a month. He'd said it'd be a long week end, you wasnt the outdoorsy type... well not yet.

"Shh, shh mate~ calm down you'll get there, just not yet... don't come yet we need- I need you to hold on for me" walter growled lowly into you making you sob and slump on the bed moaning into the covers. He moved slower trying to remember you were human, no matter how close the season was he couldnt mate you just yet. He had to give you the bite, then claim and help you come around to your new form and mate you... all in three weeks. If he tried to mate you properly now youd never survive him.

"Bu-but Bear!? Please i cant!" You wailed grunting and pressed back on him urgently unaware of just what was about to happen. He almost felt guilty, but it was better this way. Bite and help them transition then breed and continue the line. Or risk looseing you? His one mate! Once you were turned you'd feel the bond and wouldnt leave. It was how things were done, tradition!

Walter shook his head ridding the doubts that collected in his mind before chuckling... if only you knew how right you were~. Because be was a bear, a grizzly to be exact. It always brough a smirk to his face when you called him that, it'd soon be an inside joke between you. For every shifter there was a soul mate. The wolves had it easy,being pack animals their mates were mostly wolves themselves. But bears? No. Bears were solitary and their mates tended to be human.

For everything that happened in his life, he never imagined getting such a sweet gentle mate! You were a prize, his prize. Gifted to him by the old gods. You'd love and raise his cubs to be strong, fierce boy's and dainty smart females. His mind drifted, he couldnt wait to fill you, to plant his seed inside your womb and watch you create his cubs. But first he had claim you.

His eyes glazed as you beat at the bed arching your back to him trying desperately to pull him deeper clenching your pussy tight trying to force him to his own end where you could join him. You walls trembled as the suckled on him desperate to have walter quake at the knees and rut you into a tantelizing climax.

Walter snarled eyes now flickering with the burnt red brown that his beast held, the copper tinge glowing with a primal rage and need to latch onto his female and hold her still, repriand his sow for trying to take control and steal his seed before he was read to gift it to her!. Thoughts of tearing the skin and biting you twisted around his mind like a raging storm, his fangs ached. The venomous gift that would seal your fate to his forever thrumming in his jaws eagerly waiting. He was ready. He.was .ready! Years of woundering, then months of play the human game had made him impatient. He needed it, needed to feel the bond tie you together!

"Fine! You asked for it!" He snarled, an inhuman tremorto his voice made you pause, just as you tried to turn and question him you screamed out in panic. Walter bit you. Hard!

You thrashed squealing and panicking, kicking your splayed legs as your neck siezed, cramping. You muscle constricting around what felt like two deep thorns searing into you. Then a deep burn built. You cried in panic, fat tears rolling down your face mind bearly grasping what was going on around you. The shunts of your lovers hips became heavier and more pronounced, every breathnow a severe growl ratteling your bones. His cocks invasion slicing through the pain and terror as he moved faster and harder into you hitting your clit.

You wept tears streaming down your face as he fucked you rougher growling into your neck. Then despite the pain and fear the knot in your tummy snapped and you came around him. The trembling and mind numbing orgasm tore through you making you massage his still thrusting cock. You sobbed collapsing, giving up the fight as your sensitive body ached.

As if rewarding you for finally giving in Walter released your neck leaving it wet. You shuddered knowing that there would be blood but there wasnt much you could do about it. You keenesoftly as he roared over you victoriously painting your insides with his essence, lightly fucking into you. Instinct driving him to scent your cunt as deep as he could for your change, so youd smell of him warding off all other males in the area. This female was taken.

"Fuck. Fuck that was- better then the stories" he hummed over you smileing to himself head hanging down feeling at peace now his mate was claimed and would change. You'd be like him, strong fierce and safe. Able to take care of yourself and protect yourself and his young... fend off any vile human, fend off anyone but him~ your bear, your male, your mate!

"W-walter? My neck? What did you do?! Whh did you!- it feels funny it tingling" you panicked as walter pulled away from you befor slowly crawling onto the bed pullingnyou gently onto the soft bedding tugging you up to rest on your back.

"Its fine, perfect even- its the venom getting to work love" he explained cooing at you wiping you down patting the wohndmon your neck. In his spare of the moment bite he'd been rougher then he could have been, and that was part of the reason his venom was making you go limp already.

"V-VENOM! WHAT VENOM?" You bellowed now bawling panting, hyperventilating eyes wide and tears rolling down your face. His heart clenched as your hand waved in the air trying to hold him but you couldnt feel it, only a heavy numb limb that was useless.

"No, no its not bad- not bad my we t little mate... your turning, you'll turn and be like me" walter said hushingnou craning over you taking your waving hand an pressing kisses to the palm.

"Turn?! What are you- you bite me! We need help! Im gojng numb! Cold walter im bleeding out! Am i bleeding!?" Yu yipped still not understanding what was goingnon? He bit you... HE BIT YOU!? you tried pryingnyour hand free wanting to feel the damage on your neck. The room was spinning, you were growing cold you felt li,e you were dying!

"No shh your not bleeding, your turning... youve taken the bite soo well, so well love... you'll be fine... you'll sleep and then wake up stronger then ever" walter hummed fawning over you, giving you small gentle stroke's he knew he couldnt sit you down and explain, you were falling fast. He just had to reassure you untill you drifted off into the change.

"Wha?"

"Shh im here im here mate... your gonig to be a bear just like me" he whispered softly grinning down at you unable to stop. He was too damn proud, he found you and bit you! Youd be with him always!

"Bear?" You muttere trying to hold him closer as the room began shimmering, lights and blaack dots laceingnyour vision as the heated chill rushed through you drowning your body in a strange soothing yet frightening feeling.

"Yes... I'm a shifter, I brought you here to- to my den, the den of my forefathers, ive given you the bite just as my father did to our mother inthis very cabin!" He rushed trying to explain best as he could not liking the scent of terror on you. He never wanted to scare you, but fear was inevitable. Still if he could ease your worries before you succumbed he would.

"What- walter im- its fuzzy!" You cried desperately tryingnto cling to the little consciousness you had. But it was getting harder as the seconds ticked by.

"Hush im here, it's the change my love... youll be like me... a bear shifter- and just before mating season too...You'll change and then we will mate over and over untill your carrying my cubs~" walter said as a lump swelled in his throat. His father had said this was the worst bit. The fear and panic as your new found mate fell to the transformation. But as the guilt and anxiety sent in so did the excitement of your furture. Your mateing, your family-cubs and a den of your own! It was enougn to make the grown boar cry like a young cub!

"W-walt your scaring me~" you slurred as the room began spinning, a hot sensation coursing through your veins but your skin was cool and prickling.

"Shh its okay love, you need to sleep, just rest when you wake things will be... they will be perfect, sleep, give in don't fight, you dont want to be awake for this part" he said movi g to lay your hand back down at your side. Then sat up besode you looking around for another pillow tomprop under your head.

"W-walter! No, dont leave-" you cried bawling frightened as your eyelids got heavy, he sounded as if he was drifting further from you. Bringing another wave of panic, especiallywhen he placed your hand down.

"I'm not, i wont leave you, not for a second my beautiful female" he said leaning over you holding your chin peppering kisses over your face. Making sure you felt he was still there even as you drifted into the comatose state that would protect you from the pain of your initial transformation. You cries slowly doed off as you closed your eyes unable to fight anymore and let the black take you.

Walter stayed put watching you with baited breath. Now it was his job to gaurd you. Protect and care for you as the grueling first shift took holdand he spied what bear you'd be. The venom in all shifters was the same, each becmea different animal in accordance to their individual traits. He was a grizzly one of the largest bear, his cousin geralt was a polar bear and sy a kodiak. He knew youd be a bear because you were mates, and thats just how it worked.

He sat back cringing as you grunted moaning as things began to shift, your body would rid itself of toxins and ailments first. Flush your system before the real process began. He stood from the bed making his way to the bathroom to fetch the many damp towels he'd need to clean you up. It had been him to insight the change and now it was his duty to care for you through this difficult transition. And it would be is absolute pleasure, because this was the all important duty for him as a male his kind, this would tighten his bond with your beast. He would oversee everything and help you, even help break bones to help you shift faster. Anything to get you through a full shift cycle, to beast and back so you could awaken that little bit faster and begin your life as a true pairing. Despite th grusome nature of the event, walter couldnt be more pleased because thos was the true beginning of his life with you, and he wouldnt change a damn thing.

[k0kichiimagines]

HSBDNXHDHDHD OKAY OKAY SO I JUST GOT A CUTE IDEA

How about kokichi taking care of fem! S/o 's 2 year old sister with her? I don't know, thinking about kokichi taking care of babies is just *MWAH*

Also, what if s/o's baby cousin gets so attached to kokichi they don't even wanna leave him?

You don't know how much I'm squealing of happiness imagining this scenario

I LOVE KICHI W CHILDREN i do feel like hed be so good with kids, especially considering DICE! hed be an energetic parent as well i think he loves children

- mod kokichi

kokichi x [f] reader

-> Kokichi with your younger relatives

cws : none

you opened the door with your sister on your hip, presented by your unannounced boyfriend holding a large bouquet of roses and with a wide smile that dropped into an O shape when he saw the baby. "well hello there! you must be my sweethearts younger sister!" he cooed at the little girl, who waved brightly in response.

"afternoon, kokichi."

"afternoon! i was planning to take you on a suprise date, but it seems we need to consult a third member!" he suddenly looked solemn, staring the toddler in the eye. "ive got a big question for you." she nodded. "can i take your big sister on a date? you can come as well as the third wheel."

"yes."

"its settled then!" he would have clapped his hands, but they were still holding roses. you smiled and gestured for him to come closer, kissing his cheek sweetly. (much to the little girls disgust)

"give me a minute to get ready then!" you moved aside to let him in, putting the baby down to take the flowers. he nodded happily, kicking off his shoes temporarily.

"i am an excellent baby sitter! c'mon," and now he was talking again to the toddler. "let's go play while my lovely princess gets ready! what toys do you have?" she seemed pleased at that, grabbing his hand as best she could and dragging him away. he gave you a mischievous smile - you knew he would definitely keep her safe, but you dreaded what kind of tricks he would teach her.

but she was simply showing him her tea party, sitting him down next to stuffed toys while she handed him an elegant plastic cup. she began pouring, listing the names of all those at the table, and pausing when she got to him. "... whats your name?"

"kokichi."

"ko'ichi?"

"kokichi."

"ko'ichi" she nodded seriously, deciding that was the correct way of pronouning it. he only shrugged, and sipped the tea he was sure was very nice. she spoke to him about her toys, some of it was baby mumbles of gibberish, some actual words, but either way he nodded to everything she said.

you appeared in the doorway, smiling at the site of him getting along with your sister. he noticed you instantly, making a performance of how beautiful he thought you looked.

"yeah yeah, you flirt. where are we going?"

"weeeell i was thinkin-"

"park." your conversation was cut off by a small voice, and she was clutching a teddy and giving you both puppy eyes. "pwease?"

you, perhaps, were less swayed by it. kokichi wasnt, and lifted the girl up. "she says park."

"i said park."

in the end you did go to the park. he was happy to take her on the swings, and go down the slides himself. in fact, he's probably taken you to an empty park at night before as a date.

and when he left, your sister kept requesting for him to return, tugging on your sleeve and questioning when he was coming, and drawing pictures to give him for his next visit. soon you wre convinced he only came to play with his new best friend, who has a habit of clutching his leg and fake crying any time he tries to leave.

you blame him for the fake crying trick. he defends himself because "he never fake cries!" ans "even if he did, he hasnt done it in front of her, but he doesnt anyway so thats not relevant". you still blamed him.

he sometimes stays long enough to say goodnight to her. and then he turns to you with a smile. "one day we should have a children. at least twenty."

"hush." you playfully shoved him.

"thats not a no!"

[violetnotez]

HC: Mineta being a Pervert to the Boys S/o

@dekulover555: Hey could I request something with kamanari/bakugo/deku/kirishima when minnetas being a pervert to a fem s/o and like touching her up even after she’s asked him to stop please and thankyouxx

In which case MIneta can jump off a cliff

Pairings: Kaminari x reader | Bakugo x reader | Deku x reader | Kirishima x reader

(RULES  | MASTERLIST| REQUESTS OPEN!!! :))

--------------------

Kamanari

Usually Kaminari is a pretty chill dude

Him and Mineta used to drool over girls all the time- including you

They had talked and made elaborate plans all the time to see if they could somehow get the girls to be shirtless or get to see them in their underwear- but none of their plans would ever work, they were more just like fantasies they would freak out over

When Kaminari started dating you, those talks kinda stopped- he had a girl now! He didn't need to talk about other girls- he had one he loved and cherished and who was already hot!

So Mineta had been pretty deprived of any type of NSFW talk (cause nobody else was willingly gonna deal with his horny ass)

One day, you were sparring with Bakugo in the gym, when his quirk accidentally lit your shirt on fire

You instantly shouted in surprise, ripping off your PE shirt before it could burn you

MIneta-Boob-Radar Activated

“What the hell Bakugo!” you stood there, your skin turning red from the heat so close to your skin

“Well- you should have dodged it dunce face!”

As Bakugo was red in the face trying not to make eye contact with you, Mineta literally latched onto your leg

“No wonder why Kaminari’s dating you- your chest is amazing!” 

You tried shaking him off, but his grip was too strong- he started making grabbing motions towards your chest and you felt your cheeks get warm with anger

“Get off you of me little purple freak!”

Kaminari had been working with Kirishima, not noticing your dilemma until Bakugo had stomped over to tell him what was happening

Kaminari never got angry easily, but the sight of Mineta trying to crawl up your body made him erupt with rage

You were clearly uncomfortable as you tried to cover up your exposed top portion with a clingy MIneta on you

“Please! One touch, thats all!”

“Get the hell off of me Mineta!’

Kaminari ran over to you, yanking Mineta off your leg as Kirishima and Bakugo followed

your in Bakusquad if your dating Denki, its ride together or die together with this group

“What the hell are you doing dude?!” Kaminari yelled at Mineta who literally had tears in his eyes

This grape is way too damn horny oml

You instantly ran to Kaminari, hugging yourself against him- he always made you feel safe

Mineta trudged off, knowing full well he wasnt getting anything more with Bakugo and Kirishima glaring daggers at him

You hugged Denki, a soft smile gracing his face

“You okay babe?” he asked as he pulled away from you slightly, looking at your face

“Yeah, Im fine- I just need a new shirt, that’s all.”

Thats when it fully registered to him that you didnt have a shirt on- he then noticed how your slighty bare chest felt pressed against his chest, and then he looked down- and oh crap he probably almost had a boner right then and there

“I-uh-um-yeah, that’d probably be best!” he would stutter and giggle, feeling his quirk go into overdrive

“But you do kinda look nice like this though…”

“Denki I swear to god I will kick you.”

Bakugo

Does Mineta want to die?

This boy is POSSESSIVE

AN ANIMAL

You are his girl, his s/o, his lover, his EVERYTHING

If anyone touches what is his he will MURDER them

He overreacts allottt

But this anger definitely comes in handy when you needed a certain pervy grape to get away from you

During a training session, you had the unfortunate fate of being paired with Mineta

It would have been fine, if only Mineta would stop drooling all over you like you were a piece of meat

“You ready, beautiful?” he’d ask before you started your training mission

You rolled your eyes, trying to ignore his eyes practically undressing you as you walked past him

Mineta knows full damn well that by you being Bakugo’s s/o, he would get pummeled for so much as thinking such lewd thoughts about you

But he had been eyeing you for so long, and if Bakugo wasn’t around, he thought  he would be okay and not die if Bakugo wasnt near you

Oh how stupid that assumption was

As you two are walking, he just stares at your ass, keeping a few paces behind to watch it as you walk

“Can you not?” you ask, disgust in your voice

“What?” he asks as if he wasnt doing anything, “Im just walking.”

You fight the urge to kick him

You just sigh, turning around- it would be a long class period being paired with him for a training exercise, but you could manage

Of course this little purple idiot begins to start staring at your rear again

Anger and dread bubbles in your stomach- could he just not be like this for one second??

 You could easily pummel him into the ground- but you didnt want to waste your energy on somebody who didnt deserve to have your energy wasted on in the first place

So you continually took the anger that was caused by Mineta’s perverted staring

The icing on the cake though was when you felt a light squeeze on your rear, making you shoot around in shock

There he was, his hand in midair and this disgustingly blissful expression on his face

“Did you JUST-” you practically yelled out, rage and embarrassment making you begin to turn red

“I couldnt help it- it just looked so touchable-” he said, his hand about to touch you on your ass again

You took off in a run, Mineta making grabby hands behind you

You finally found Bakugo, who was paired with Yaomomo

“Katsuki!” you’d yell, running into his arms

He instantly noticed something was wrong- you were cuddled into his neck, giving a very pale looking Mineta a dirty look

“What the hell is going on?” he asked, his face harsh and serious

“He-he,” you gulped, the embarrasment rising, “he touch my, uh-”

Bakugo didnt need to hear anymore- he was concerned Mineta would do this, and now his fear became into reality

He internally kicked himself- he should have known Mineta would pull some pervy shit like that on you- he should have made sure you would have been okay

But that guilt quickly got overtaken by an incontrollable rage

“Did you just touch my girlfriend you fucking pervert?” he’d growl, his voice dangerously low

That meant shit was going down

Mineta gulped, his face paler than a sheet- Bakugo then grabbed him by the front of his shirt, dangling a terrified Mineta in the air

“Where?!”

“Huh?” Mineta asked in fear

“Where the hell did you touch her you idiot?!”

“Her-uh-her-butt-but-” Mineta sqeuaked out, trying to form some sort of excuse

Welp that when Bakugo saw black

You and Momo had to restrain Bakugo as he started going on a rampage, screaming all kinds of profanities

“You fuckng extra!! Im going to kill you! Shes my girl- you have no fucking right to touch her! Do that one more time and Ill blow you ass up! You hear me?! You so much as look at her and your ass will be seven feet under in your own ashes!”

Yeah- Whenever Mineta now sees you he walks the other way, and he hasnt bothered you since

Deku

Deku is very oblivious to Mineta’s harassment

Like- he can’t be that bad right???

*cough cough YES HE CAN

But if you tell him he will be the first to stomp over and give him a piece of his mind

If he sees it- oh he will be so UPSET

Mina has somehow rounded you up into one of her personal projects, in which she was creating an all girl dance

It was you, Momo, Toru, and Mina learning the choreography to a really upbeat girl group song

Tasty Carrots by Shou

You had finally learned all the choreography, now switching into outfits so Mina could put it into her social media

This girl def has a Tik Tok

Mina has put you all in little skater skirts, yours being high waisted, pleated, and reaching just barely reaching your mid thigh

Mina was squealing- “You all look so cute!!! We are TOTALLY going viral!”

Right as Mina started the music, and you began to do a few practice runs, Mineta and Kaminari walking past

Mineta had spotted you all from like a mile away

His literal wet dream- a bunch of girls dancing in little skirts

None of you notice though- you just continued with the choreography, attracting a little group on onlookers from the blaring music-including Midoriya

Mineta had pulled out his phone half way through and instantly started taking pics

At one part of the dance you have a tiny duet part with Mina where you bend down slightly

This perv instantly got right under you and took a whole ass pic

You heard a flash and look between your legs, seeing  the purple idiot

You screeched, your face red as you yanked your skirt down

Mina instantly started yelling at Mineta, trying to catch the little idiot while Kaminari tried to yank his phone away from him

Izuku was filled with raged-how dare he do that to you?!? He was about to give him a piece of your mind, but seeing your embarrassed face made him think otherwise

He ran over, wrapping you into a hug

You were feeling so dumb-you didn’t even notice the little group of onlookers forming, making you feel even more embarrassed

Midoriya then sees Mineta run past, and as if on instinct grabs him by the arm

Mineta squeaks, regret riding through his body-nobody has ever seen Midoriya look this mad

Izuku yanks Mineta’s phone out of his hand, quietly searching through his camera roll

He finds the picture and hi face turns a little red because geez you do look really hot-

He quickly (and permanently) deletes it, so Mineta can’t go into his recently deleted, and hands it back to him

“Don’t you ever, EVER do that again.” The threat seemed simple but the way Midoriya voice was full of ice and his eyes on fire made Mineta’s skin turn cold

Kirishima

sorry if this one seems longer than the rest!

It was the end of the year and Yaomomo had invited everyone to her house for a big summer celebration pool party!

Of course everyone was excited- Yaomomo was rich and her house was beautiful and massive! Also she was the best hostess anyone could imagine

Mineta was excited for another reason- he couldn’t wait to see all the girls in bathing suits of their own choice, not the dumb leotard-like ones the school made them wear

Secretly hoped they were as skimpy as possible

Momo had invited all the girls the night before to a massive sleepover- you all went shopping for new suits at a beach themed boutique

Of course it was super expensive, but the owners of the shop were friends of Yaomomo’s parents and gave you all a FAT discount

Everyone was super happy with their suits- yours was all red,  with a strappy red top, the bottom also matched in color and were slightly high waisted and showed off the sides of your thighs

The next morning you all spent time getting ready and helping Momo prepare to when everyone else came

Everyone started trickling in and greeting each other, getting snacks supplied by Momo and swimming or dancing to the “Top 50 Songs” playlist blasting outisde

You were in the kitchen getting some punch with Mina when Kirishima and Bakugo came in

Bakugo looked like he would rather be anywhere but there, while Kirihsima was just excited to find you and have some fun!

When Kirihsima saw you- his mouth dropped- you looked seriously stunning and he couldnt make his heart stop pounding so hard

Also your wearing red- he can try to act as chivalrous as he wants but he cant deny that red on you makes him go CRAZY inside

“Kirishima!” you yell happily when you see him, running over to give him a hug

He instantly twirls you around and tells you how pretty you look

You go outside and everyone begins to hang out, playing some games, swimming, dancing, or just plain mingling

Mineta is of course on a mission- he is just sitting in a really dark corner of the party pratically trying to memorize how all the girls look and drooling like a perv, concocting a plan in his twisted head of his

The moment he hears Uraraka yell- “Who wants to play volleyball- Boys vs Girls!” He instantly jumps up- now was time to get his plan in action

You and Kirishima join Uraraka, Izuku, Kaminari, Mina, Bakugo, and Tsuyu in the game

What you all didnt notice was Mineta, who was waiting patiently to pounce on one of the girls- he unfortunately chose you as his victim

When you wadded towards the end of the pool to try and save the ball, Mineta had reached over and pulled at one of the straps of your top, easily detangling it from your chest

You felt something loosen- and then horror rippled throughout your body

You qiuckly ducked under the water, only your eyes visible as your face was on fire

Mineta at first was cheering, your top tangled in his grubby hands, but then everyone started screaming at him, Mina throwing every threat she could think of while Uraraka tried to block you from sight and Froppy got you a towel

What really terrified Mineta was Kirishima- he was desperately trying to crawl out of the pool, all the boys trying to restrain him because he was literally going to KILL Mineta

Nobody had ever seen Kirishima that mad- even Bakugo

Mineta ran off, still holding onto your top as Tsuyu wrapped you in a towel

Kirishima ran over to you, wrapping you in a hug

“You okay? Im so sorry that happened! I’ll get your top back- I promise!”

And this boy did-of course after he calmed down- while Bakugo followed suit

As much as Bakugo hates to admit it, he does like you and you being his best friend’s girl, he protects you as much as Eijirou does

They both found where Mineta was hiding, Bakugo grabbing the little grape while Kirishima rambled on about “how unmanly that was” and how Mineta needed to “respect women and be more chivalrous”

Also may or may have not have told him that if he ever did anything like that again he wouldnt hestitate to teach him a lesson

After that little stunt, Yaomomo kicked him out of the party, all the girls breathing a sigh of relief

Kirishima came back, all the girls sitting around you and giving support-but once they saw Kiri they’d knew you’d be okay and gave you some privacy

This boy cuddled the crap out of you for the rest of the day and didnt wanna let go

------------

Requests open| Matchups closed!

[blkgirl-writing]

"The One Where They Share" Zuko X Fem!Reader X Jet SMUT!

Summary: You seem to be friends with Jet. Zuko is jealous and slightly confused.

Warnings: jet is basically your dom, zuko is a bit clueless, fingering, but plugs, DPs, obviously characters are aged up, Zuko's called Lee out loud, because that's what the characters know him as.

A/N: Thank you all so much for waiting for this! As you know i took a well needed break, but i’m back with a boom! Any feedback is welcome. 

"Admit it, I'm the best fuck you've ever had" you smirked, eyes glimmering with sin as you stared at Jet. His amused eyes scanned your form, fingering on your chest without any ounce of shame.

"Okay, fine, whatever. You're the best lay I've had." Jet shrugged, a light rose blush creeping to his cheeks. You, on the other hand, held back a big victory screech, settling for a quieter yell and big gestures.

"I knew it!" You laughed, biting down on your bottom lip to keep from laughing. It had taken days to get him to admit it, you'd almost got him to say it while you were giving him a blowjob, insisting that you'd not let him cum unless he said it, but he pulled your hair, and looked at you with that stupid fucking look, and you couldnt keep him from a release.

"You owe me, ya know." He muttered, leaning into the table the air between you suddenly getting thick. His stare was hot, his hand reaching for yours even hotter.

"I do...? Can't think what for?" You smirked, taking Jets hand in your own.

It was shameless, it was nearly all the time. Zuko stood behind the counter and watched helplessly as the woman who he had lusted over since she had starting coming to the shop. Always smiling at him, always kind, always asking if he could take a break and sit with you. He had, a few times. He learned that you were single, worked at night, loved music, and adored tea. Shrowded in mystery, he still fell. So it was a hard hit when you starting showing up with Jet, the man who had wanted him thrown in jail. A smug look on his face every single time he walked in. It was disgusting.

It was only when youd asked to sit with him one day, without Jet, that he asked what was going on between you two. Youd laughed, taking a small sip from your tea, glowing skin contrasting against the pure white of the mug.

"Fuck no. Jet's my friend. I can't bare to be around him for more than 12 hours, let alone be with him." Your eyes glimmered the the dull light, biting down on your bottom lip, a hint of seduction in your smooth movements. "Does it bother you?"

"No." Zuko snapped back, eyes widening at the 'accusation' as he saw it. Much less flirty than anything. Really, he did a horrible job masking his jealousy for the closeness of the pair. "I was just wondering. You just...seem happy together."

"Trust me, the only reason we get along is because we fuck out our problems." Zukos face grew hot, boiling hot. He wasnt used to women being so blunt around him, especially ones he liked. Especially when they stared straight at him, like you did.

Ever since then, youd seen the way Zuko looked at you when you were with Jet. Longing, desire, shyness.

Maybe that's why you sent Zuko a wink when you went to the bathroom, letting him connect the dots when Jet went after you a minute or two later. Maybe you wanted Zuko to discover you and Jet together, in a strange way, maybe you wanted him to join.

"You're filthy," Jet smirked, holding your hips to the wall, lips connected to your neck. "Eye fucking the tea boy. Teasing me. You dont deserved to be fucked."

"It wasnt eye fucking," you reply, suppressing a moan as Jets fingers dig deeply into your soft skin, forcing your skirt up. "And you want your dick wet, Jet. You know youd fuck me anyway."

"Mmhm, you do have a good pussy-" you ran your hands through his thick hair, tugging at the strands at the base of his neck. Jet smiled into the skin by your collar bone, letting out a small, breathy laugh.

"You make it hard for me to keep my mind clean when you talk like that out in public."

"We were having a simple conversation-" you couldn't help the moan that escaped your lips as Jet slapped your ass. "Be quiet." Jet hummed, drawing back to look at you, eyes blown wide from pure lust. His gaze was sinful, wraking over your body read hot. One of his hands followed his eyes, fingertips trailing down your wrapped shirt, untying the front easily, your chest exposed to the cool air. Jet couldnt help but smile.

"I love your tits." Jet brushed his lips across your nipple, licking and nibbling at the skin.

"Shut the fuck up and fuck m-" the creek of a door,

Zuko stood in the door, hand still on the handle, blinking away the surprise, of that's what he could call it. He heard you, he heard him, and zuko couldnt stop himself from bursting in, no plan in hand. Kick Jet out? Ask you to...

"Ah, Lee." You hummed, turning your head to look at Zuko fully. He was taking a step in, eyes never leaving yours. The door slowly clicked shut, and without a word, he took yet another step. Jet had made no move to let go of your form, but he did remove his lips from your nipple, casting a cocky grin to Zuko.

"We weren't quiet enough, huh? Want us to leave? Join?"

"Join." Zuko muttered, rolling his shoulder back, glaring at Jet. You surprised a wide smile, godsz this must have been a dream. The short haired tea boy was finally asking you. Youd thought it would be a date first, but this is just was just as good.

"Finally grew some, Lee?" Jet stepped back from your body, heat still radiating off of you from his touch. Jet settled by Zukos side, nudging his shoulder.

"Isnt she beautiful?" Jet asked Zuko.

"Yeah, she is." Zuko muttered, licking his dry lips. The two men stood there for too long, admiring your body, who you heavily breathed, your open chest.

"Is someone gonna come over here and fuck me? Or do I have to fuck myself." You groaned, crossing your arms under your chest. Zuko looked a bit flustered, like he didnt know if he should be the one to come to you, but he sure as hell looked like he wanted to.

"Go ahead, finger her." Jet nodded to zuko, or as he knew the man as, Lee. Zuko hesitated, buying down on his lower lip as he looked at you, lust rolling off of his body. His cheeks were flushed a light pink. Zuko nudged a bit closer to you, fingers dancing around your skin, trailing down to your bare pussy. A single finger curled into you easily, already wet from when Jet was teasing you.

"She lost a dare, she's already ready to take one of us up the ass. Shes been wearin' her plug the whole day-" Jet reached out, slapping your ass harshly, earning a gasp from you. Jet chuckled to himself and sent you a wink.

"Fuck-" zuko breathed out.

"Guess that's you, then." Jet licked his lips, sinful gaze scanning your half clothed body, watching as you bit down on Zukos shoulder, stifling a moan as he pressed another finger inside you.

"I've wanted to fuck you since you walked into the shop-" zuko muttered, finger fucking you faster and faster, thumb brushing against your clit. He was so quick to jump into you, so warm and pressing all of himself against you. You could feel his hard on flush against your stomach.

"I-wish you would have,"

Everything seemed to go so fast, his lips on yours, soft and calm, not rushed like how his fingers pumped inside you. His fingers were somewhat clumsy, he was clearly new at this, but his lips against yours, and his dick against your skin was enough to make you xum in no time.

"Did you finish?" Zuko asked, breath hot against your skin. His forehead pressed against yours, hands squeezing your thighs.

"Y-yeah, definitely." You replied, placing a small kiss on his lips. A small, intimate moment in a very rough night.

"Hate to break up your love fest, but do you have a bed, or even a couch?" Jet came up beside you, placing a kiss on your shoulder.

After that, Zuko lead you and (reluctantly) Jet to his bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind him. You gleefully watched as the boys shed their clothes,

"Come here, jet. Take off my panties for me." You winked, looking the man up and down, pausing at his well groomed, throbbing dick. Thick, just the right shape.

"Like what you see?" Jet said slyly, stepping towards your frame.

"Mmhm, I think I do." Jet unbuttoned your skirt quickly, taking your underwear with it. His hands traveled back to your breasts, neading and caressing you. Hos touch was always needy, harsh.

"Common, Lee, join in on the fun~" your voice was low, looking zuko deep in his eyes as you ground against Jets hard cock.

Zuko was fast to join, coming behind you to bite at the back of your shoulder, hands traveling from to your stomach, rubbing circles around your pouch, then down to your hips, grabbing them with care. Zuko nudged you to the bed, letting go of your body to lay down on his thin mattress. He propped himself up on his elbows, watching as you walked over to him, swaying hips and all.

Your back pressed against his chest. Your butt plug slowly being pulled out by the man you barely knew, just to be replaced by his throbbing dick, crecum already leaking from his tip. Zukos eyes fluttered shut, taking in the tight, warm feeling of being inside you. He stayed inside you for a few moments, still, worshiping the moment. Jet took his time to admire your open legs, spread wide for him, pussy glinting from your arousal. Be kneed between you, rubbing his cock against your folds, teasing your clit.

“you’re so fucking hot,” Jet moaned as he slipped inside of you, easily hitting the end of your vagina, pressure from his tip pressing against your curvix. 

They both pressed into you, pumping at different paces, but hitting all the same spots. Jets curved dick hitting your G-spot perfectly with every thrust, and Zukos long cock.

"Such a good slut, taking both of us at a time. So fucking good." Jet grabbed at your hair, tugging your head to his, roughly pressing his lips against yours. A wet, heated, sloppy kiss. "How do you like Lee inside of you, baby?"

"He's so good," you gasped, Zukos hand coming from your stomach up to your breast, squeezing and pulling at your skin. "Fuck, yes, keep doing that-you're so good, so so good, Lee."

"You're...really tight-" zuko moaned, his thrusts slowing as he spoke awkwardly. All of his words jumbled in his brain. "n' you're so soft."

Jet stifled a laugh at the other man, his constant blush, his lingering yet hesitant touch. It was clear Zuko had been dreaming of this moment, to be inside you, but didnt quite know what to do now.

Then, Jets hand came down to your clit, roughly rubbing circles around your sensitive bundle. You whined out at the new sensation. You scratched at Jets lower back, leaving a red trail where your nails dug into his skin.

It was a feeling like no other, their dicks brushing against each other inside you, an intense sense of being filled to the brim. Zuko moans quiet and right next to your ear, hot breath leaving a trail of bumps on your skin.

Jet came in a moaning mess, clutching your hips hard enough to leave bruises. He stayed inside you until zuko came, a minute or two later, his heavy breaths and slow strokes being the only reason you knew he had cum. So silent and gentle. Pulling out of you suddenly, pleasing you a bit empty.

"Come on, lee. Step back and look at how we ruined her." Jet smirked, pulling out of your throbbing pussy, white cum seeping out from both your holes. Pure and utter bliss wracking around your body, the after shocks of your orgasm

Zuko moved over to Jets side reluctantly. He still didn't like the other man, but he did just help zuko get the lay of his wet dreams, and now he was looking down at your sweaty form, glowing like a goddess.

It was unreal, the list in your eyes, your weak knees, messy hair, that not even an hour ago was neat and styled to perfection.

Zuko stepped forward, eyes gazing down at your body, butlingering on your lips. You smiled at him, his messy hair, histired eyes. He looked irresistible. His thumb grazing over your bottom lip, wiping away some lip gloss that speared down.

"I hope we can do this again. Maybe alone, sometime?" You whispered in his ear, far too quiet for Jet to hear. You didn't need the boy toy getting jealous.

"I'd... really like that."

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

TAGLIST: @bucky-blogs​ @toomanydamfandoms​ @spookyeclipsecat​ @lexysclubhouse​ @intothebisonsmouth @mayalovesyou @shadowsandcoldwords​ @samvmgh​ @coffee-addicted-writer @veyloveszuko​ @liosilass​ @duh-dobrik​

[just-fan-fics]

Perfect for me

pairing: loki x insecure!fem!reader

request: “ Hi! may I ask for a Loki x insecure reader: They had been together for some time now, but when things got a bit heated, she backed off. He assumed she wasnt ready and by all means he was willing to wait. During her childhood, she survived a car crash, crawling out from the burning wreck, but leaving her with scars of self consciousness up to her adult years. She loved him so, but was afraid to reveal herself... I listened to "Beautiful with you" by Halestorm, when this popped up in my head... “

warining: mention of scars, fluff

a/n: sorry for any grammar/spelling mistake English is not my first language. I hope you enjoy it :)

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

---

Loki’s hands are on the hem of your shirt and starts to pull it up really slowly. You put your hands on his stopping him. This is not the first time that has happended so Loki looks at you a bit worried. 

“Are you alright love?” placing his hands on your waist pulling you closer to him. You just nod squeezing your lips together. “Are you sure? You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” 

Loki doesn’t want to pressure you but this is not the first time you’ve pulled away from him when things start to get heated, which makes him wonder if there’s more to it. 

“I’m alright it’s just-” you sigh not knowing what to say but not wanting to lie to him either. “If you don’t feel ready still I don’t mind love, I can wait”

You look at him, your eyes watering wondering how can a person as perfect and caring as he can exist. Your mind starts racing making up scenarios of how could everything turn up if you tell him the truth, that you feel ready but you don’t feel ready to show your scars just yet. 

Loki can see your mind working, he can see it in how your eyes have turn from happiness to worry and a hint of sadness in just seconds. 

He cups your face strocking your cheeks with his thumbs. “Whatever it is that you are thinking I bet it won’t turn out as bad as you think it will, I promise” he smiles at you.

You look him in the eye seeing the spark in his eyes and the truthfullness with which he has said it, that you believe him and you decide in that exact moment that it is time to tell him, to show yourself before him.  

“I don’t know how are you going to react to this but, I just wanto to-” you don’t know how to continue the sentence so you just decide to make it quick and let him see it for himself. You take off you shirt exposing your scars that runs through your stomach to you thighs.

You hug yourself seeing how Loki stares at you slowly. You wonder if he feels disgusted by it and dissapointed at the same time, because maybe this is not how he imagined your body would look like. 

After what feels like an eternity Loki finally looks at you in the eye. He walks to you and places his hands on your shoulder.

“When I fell in love with you, I fell in love with everything of you.” he starts walking forward making you walk backwards. “You scars are part of you and I love them as much as I love you” he lays you down on the bed. “Not matter what you think I’m always going to love them as much as I’m always going to love you”.

Loki starts to kiss your scars slowly but surely, caring with his hands the ones that has already kissed and the ones that he is about to. You can’t help but let some tears fall, feeling so loved and cared after being afraid of showing the scars on your body. 

Loki looks up and cleans the few stray tears that has fallen from you eyes and kisses your cheeks. “You are perfect for me” he says before pressing your lips together. 

[honeykawa]

Fly | Route: Tanaka Ryuunosuke

genre: mafia au, choose your own adventure

warnings: violence, suggestive themes but nothing graphic

word count: 3.1k

Fly Masterlist

“I choose him”

You looked at the man who had been standing in the corner of the room with his arms crossed

“Tanaka get your ass moving and take them home. Pick them up in the morning and take them home from now on. Make sure they dont run away or itll be on your head”

“Got it boss”

The car ride to your apartment was filled with silence and the soft sound of music coming from the radio

You were too nervous to say anything

The growing feeling of anxiety in your chest made it almost hard to breath

You started to unconsciously grab at the area above your chest and your breathing became irregular

‘How did i get into this mess?’ ‘whats going to happen to me?’

These thoughts keep rushing through your head

“--hey are you okay?”

Tanaka pulled the car over so he could stop and assess just what was happening

And from the way he saw it...it looked like an anxiety attack

His panicked a little himself watching you like this he didnt even want to imagine the feelings rushing through you right now

He got you to control your breathing again and come down from your panic

“You good now?”

You nodded your head, still weary about being near this man

He could tell you were still on your guard with the way you wrapped your arms around your body, as if you were trying to make yourself smaller

“I know it seems rough right now but i swear itll be okay”

His voice was soft with you, something you didnt expect from someone in the mafia

The car ride after that went pretty smooth

“We’re here”

The ride went faster than you thought it would and you got out of his car before saying your goodbyes

“Ill pick you up in the morning...if you need me heres my card”

He held out his card to you as you slowly took it from his hands

“See you”

And with that he sped off as you went inside your apartment to go to bed, hoping that maybe this had all been a dream

Once tanaka got back to his apartment he immediately plopped himself onto his bed and covered his eyes with his arm while thoughts of you plagued his mind

‘Cute’

His arm fell down to his side and he just stared at the ceiling

“Get your shit together tanaka. Your job is to watch them, nothing more”

He rolled over to his side with thoughts of you fading as he drifted into sleep

You woke up to the sound of light knocking on your door

And as soon as you opened the door it finally set in that last night really did happen

“Are you ready to go?”

Tanaka took one look at you and let out a deep sigh knowing that you werent

“Ill give you fifteen minutes”

You nodded your head as you ran back into your room and changed into something work appropriate

Wait where were you working? What would be considered work appropriate?

Based off of what tanaka was wearing you assumed something business casual

When you came out you looked at tanaka to see if this was good enough and he just nodded his head and started walking back towards his car, opening the door for you to get in

“I talked it over with daichi and youll be working with me as my assistant”

Your eyes widened and he immediately knew what went through your mind

“No not like that! Like with actual business stuff you wont really have to do anything with the mafia”

His flailing around made you laugh a bit and lifted a weight off of your shoulders

Listening to you laugh was almost relaxing, his cheeks heating up from the mere sight of your carefree smile

He gave you a quick tour of the place and introduced you to the others if you ran into them but that was about it

As his assistant you really didnt do much

If anything it felt like he was just an over glorified babysitter

But you shuffled through the files he gave you and sorted them the way he wanted

Tanaka watched you from the corner of his eye while you both worked

It wasnt that he was worried you would do it wrong

But it was just last night that you had that anxiety attack right in front of him

“y/n do you want to go out?”

You looked up from your papers and looked at him in confusion

“Right now? And what do you mean by ‘go out’?”

A big smile appeared on his face

“Yeah right now! Lets go! And dont think too much of it”

He stood up and grabbed his wallet

You followed him and as you two rounded the corner of the block he held the door open to a small cafe

“Go ahead and order whatever you want its on me”

You were weary about being here

Would you two get in trouble for leaving like that?

Tanaka could see the worry still lingering on your face and rose his hand to gently pat your head

“Like I said its on me so dont worry about leaving the office ill take any repercussions if there are any”

The grin on his face took a weight off of your chest and you felt like the air around you wasnt so thick anymore

After getting back to the office no one had even noticed that you two had even left

Whos running this place??

The next few weeks seemed to be fine

It was almost like you lived a normal life and you werent being watched by the mafia

You and tanaka had grown closer and it was easier to talk to the others now

He treated you kindly and tried to understand your situation

Unlike the two interns who always berated you for not knowing where certain files were or would roll their eyes when you would flinch at sudden movements the first few days

But tanaka took it slow with you, doing little things so that youd be more comfortable

At first it was subtle

If you needed to go make a copy of something he’d suddenly need to go grab something from the copy room with you even if you insisted that you could get it for him

Or how he always tried to include you in conversations with others so you would get more comfortable around everyone

Tanaka grew to be someone who it was easy for you to be around

But that sense of calmness was quickly wiped away when you joined him on one of his...excursions

“Heres the case. Now give us what we want”

Tanaka held the case in front of him while you just watched from the car

Sure, he’d take you with him but he’d never let you actually get out

He didnt really want this to take too long

Especially since it was just him against a good handful of men

But the men he was making the trade deal with suddenly saw you in move in the car and locked eyes with you

His smile sent a chill down your spine formed on his face

“New deal: give me that hot piece of ass in the car and you have a deal”

Tanakas jaw clenched at the the disgusting words just said about you

“Im sorry but,”

You couldnt see tanakas face until he looked up at the man in front of him

The look on his face utterly terrified you

“I’ll kill you if you even try to put a hand on them”

Everyone stood there unmoving, too scared to move

Tanaka turned around and headed back to the car where you were

“Deals off if that wasnt clear”

But one of the other men moved towards him

“The fuck you mean its off!”

Tanaka easily evaded the man’s advance and took him down with only a quick few movements

“Anyone else want to try”

The question was simple enough but no one dared made eye contact with him as he got into the car and drove off

The car ride was quiet, youd never seen tanaka look like that before

It scared you

He scared you

Tanaka noticed your silence and reached a hand out to pat your head but his chest went heavy at the sight of you flinching

“Y/n?”

You knew he wouldnt hurt you but you couldnt stop the slight tremble

“Im sorry tanaka”

A weak smile appeared on his face

“It’s fine y/n. i’ll take you home, okay?”

You just nod your head and neither of you talk the rest of the ride

A few days go by and you can feel the distance between you and tanaka growing

Its so noticeable that the others in the office can feel the awkwardness between the two of you

Tanaka suddenly stood up from his seat which startled you but he quickly rose his hands

“Woah sorry didnt mean to scare you”

He said it with such a sad smile on his face that it almost hurt to even look at him

“Ill be back in a moment, gotta use the bathroom”

You nodded your head as he left and let out a sigh

You knew he was just doing business

This was his job

It just shocked you to see the man thats been so kind to you to look...like that

Tanaka on the other hand knew this would happen eventually

He washed his face in the sink and looked up at his reflection

‘Remember your place. They deserve better’

He wiped off his face before heading back to his office only to see you not there

His heart just drop not seeing you there

“y/n?!”

He was about to bolt out of there but as soon as he turned around he bumped right into you

You fell onto the ground and the papers you were holding scattered around everywhere

You both just looked at each other for a moment

“Tanaka--”

Before you could say anymore he scooped you into his arms and you could feel the slight tremble in his shoulders before he quickly pulled away once he realized what he was doing

“Sorry y/n i dont know what came over me”

He started help to pick up the papers you dropped but before he could get too far you pulled him into a hug

He was frozen on the spot at feeling your touch

The warmth from your hands made his heart beat erratically

“Im sorry tanaka”

Your arms tightened around him

Youd seen so many sides of him

How clumsy he was

How kind he could be

Youve also seen how scary he could be and honestly it still shocked you

But you want to believe in him

The him thats been nothing but gentle with you

You could hear him let out a shaky breath before pulling you into his chest

After that your relationship with tanaka went back to normal

Or at least as normal as it could have been

Ever since that day youve started to notice how your heart speeds up whenever you look at him

Or the butterflies in your stomach when he smiles at you

He was careful to not let you see the mafia side of things anymore

You appreciate the thought but youd be lying if you said it didnt worry you when he came to work bandaged or bruised

Today was one of those days where tanaka had picked you up with some visible injuries

The cut on his face looked fairly fresh and without realizing it you reached up and gently ran your thumb over it

“Um what are you doing y/n”

Not that tanaka hated this

He felt his heart flutter at your touch

“You know, i dont mind helping you if you need it”

He smiled and took your hand off of his face

“Thank you y/n but im fine”

Just knowing that you cared was enough for him

‘I love you’

They were words he couldnt say

But he knew this life wasnt for you and he couldnt force you to come live in it

A few weeks go by and you feel like every time you get close to him he pulls back to just keep it barely within the realm of just friends

But that was fine as long as you could stay near

It was another one of those days where tanaka was off doing mafia business so noya kept you company

He always had his guard up but he seemed to take a liking to you

“Do you like tanaka”

The question caught you so off guard you dropped your pen

You looked up at him

“Is it that obvious?”

Noya kept working on whatever was in front of him not even sparing you a glance

“Painfully”

You could feel your embarrassment rising

“But if it makes you feel any better i think he likes you too so promise me...make him happy”

Before you could say anything back noyas phone went off and he immediately answered

His eyes went wide and his head whipped towards you before hanging up and dragging you somewhere

“Noya! Where are we going?”

He rushed you into a car and he took the wheel before driving off to who knows where

“Where are we?”

He got out of the car and opened your door

You were at an apartment complex from the look of it

“We’re at tanakas apartment hurry up”

You immediately got out and followed after him and you almost felt your legs give out seeing the state tanaka was in

Bloody and battered

Hinata was sitting next to his bed with his arms crossed

“Idiot rushed in despite not having a gun”

Noya rolled his eyes

“You know he doesnt like carrying one whyd you let him go alone?”

“Not my fault he didnt stop to think”

They kept talking to each other and went into the other room leaving you both alone

His breathing seemed stable as he slept but tears escaped your eyes as you took a seat next to him

Noya left you with tanaka and told you to take care of him

“He’ll try to tell you hes okay. Dont listen to him hes a fucking liar so take good care of him for me”

It was funny but it almost sounded like a goodbye

Tanaka woke up later that night only to see you sitting next to him with tear stains on your cheeks

The thought of you shedding tears because of him both hurt and warmed his heart

He reached up to wipe your face despite the pain he felt

Your cheeks fit perfectly within his hand and he found it cute how you leaned into his touch subconsciously

He couldnt move much but this is all he needed

You woke up before he did that next morning and decided to make some breakfast for the both of you

When you came back in he was just waking up

“Good morning tanaka”

The smile on your face as the sunlight trickled in through the window made him feel at ease

This...this was the life he longed for

“Morning”

He tried to sit up but flinched while doing so

You rushed to his side and set the food down before helping him up

“Dont push yourself. Youre still pretty banged up”

You changed his bandages for him every evening after that

“I can do this myself you know”

He said it with a light laugh

He was starting to get back on his feet and regained most of his movement and strength

“I know but...id like it if you would rely on me just a bit more. I know i cant do much but i can do this”

He didnt say anything back to you after that

In all honesty he didnt want to do it himself

Every time your hand even brushed over his skin it felt like he was on fire

Even the scars that have long since healed throbbed at your touch

His heart beat so hard against his chest that he was afraid that you could hear it

“There all done! Hope that wasnt too bad”

‘Dont smile at me’

‘Youre far too precious’

‘I dont know what ill do if you look at me like that’

He really was planning to let you go, he was fine with just keeping you at an arms length away but now he knew he was in too deep

You got up to put the first aid kit away but he quickly pulled you into his bed with him and he held you tight against his chest

His face was buried into the crook of your neck

He didnt know what he wanted anymore

He wanted to keep you safe but he couldnt guarantee that with him being in the mafia

He hated it

This life wasnt the one he wanted anymore

The life he wanted was with you

Slowly, he rose his head to look at you

“Run away with me y/n”

Your eyes widened in pure shock

“What...what did you just say?”

You couldnt believe what he just said

His eyes were serious though

“Run away with me. I dont want this life anymore. I want to give you the life you deserve. One filled with happiness and laughter where you dont have to worry about things like if ill come home the next day or not. One where you arent targeted. I love you y/n. I love you so much so please, run away with me or so help me god ill just take you”

He held you so tight that it felt like he might break at any sudden movement

You wrapped your arms around him and held him gently against you so you wouldnt hurt any of his wounds

“Then take me away”

That was all tanaka needed to let go of any reservations that were holding him back up

He kissed you with everything hes been bottling up until this moment

Your lungs burned as pulled away, both out of breath but hungry for more

“I hope you know Im not letting you go. Youre stuck with me now”

You laughed and kissed his forehead

“I wouldnt have it any other way”

That night was spent in each others arms, both of you longing for the others touch and neither of you wanting to be apart for even a second

Noya visited the apartment a few days later only to be met with complete silence

A knowing smile appeared on his face as he shook his head

He knew wherever you two were you were both happy

Because he knew you would keep your promise to him

[lissalizzie]

Okay so a couple of days ago I made a post about how I couldn't write fanfics about Chishiya because I couldn't imagine him as a guy who would be in a romance without sacrificing his girlfriend for a card or visas, and some very cool person suggested me to write an angst...AND I DID ahahahaha.

Ookay, somethings you should know now: I'm Brazilian and I speak Portuguese, I learned English by myself and this is the first time I try writing anything in English so IM SORRY IF I MADE ANY MISTAKE

Second thing would be

THIS IS ANGST SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT OR IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BAD OR UNCOMFORTABLE PLEASE DON'T READ IT

It also contains death, psychological manipulation and violence

Please dont romanticize it too, it's not a romance story, it's just the conditions I imagined for Chishiya to be involved with someone

Chishiya x Reader

You were hurt... So hurt you couldn't even begin to explain that feeling.

It was true You were somehow grateful because you were alive at least... Your friends couldn't say the same, and neither all those people you saw dying every fucking game.  But you just couldn't... Not to think about how pointless was being alive and alone at that place... Alive, alone and fucking in love with a person who had an Ice cube in a shape of a card in the place of his heart.

You knew from day 1 when you met Chishiya and Kuina at the Beach, when that boy with the mysterious look came to you for the first time for "a talk" that nothing good could come from that. Nothing, except, maybe, for Kuina's friendship... She, who was the first person who notices the mess you was doing and tried to stop you... As the great blind stubborn you were, You just didn't listen at the time... You was at a fucking game world, playing for your life almost everyday, dealing with deaths and losing people... Missing the ones you loved the most, those ones you didn't even know if were or weren't alive... You could deal with a stuck up  boy, because that's everything you thought he was... Your mistake... Well, You've recently discovered You're pretty damn good in making mistakes here.

Chishiya discovered yout feelings because at some point you couldn't manage to fight for your life and hide it... He noticed and started to be there for you after every game, specially the harder ones. He didnt talk anything, he just was there... He didnt touch you either, but he got to spend more and more time looking at you while you both were on bed... Those eyes, just as cold as him.

You didnt touch him, but you imagined he would be just as cold as that look... But you also believed he would be that deep... Like oceans. Chishiya was a grey ocean that you wanted so much, and every day more, to know...

You was so fragile, so fragile when he touched your skin for the first time, twice... The first time with his hands that wasn't cold at all which just made you want him nearer... The second time with the lips that came from your face to your mouth.

The boy must've planned that for weeks, you could see that now, in fact, now you understand that must be the reason why he looked so much at you. You was that school subject Chishiya probably didnt have any interest on but really had to study to pass the test... So he did... And you did...

And for the first time since you fell into that hell you felt alive, you felt like someone, just one person was there, and that Chishiya cared... And that  he would do for you just as much that you would do for him.

You were so blind and in love... He started saying things about plans and you were so happy cause you thought that meant he trusted you...  The first time he mentioned you on a plan you couldn't stop smiling, you were finally a part of someone's life there, it was like having a purpose again... And also being with him felt so much like action and... Not knowing about the next second because he was so... cloudy.

God, if only you could talk to yourself in the past, if only you have stopped for a second and gave that situation a better look... You felt so dumb now...

Well when he asked you to go to that place at night you... Just went, because you trusted him with your life by now. You knew somewhere deep in your heart that you shouldn't... Not just him but anyone... But it was a need, you were alone for a long time and then you found him... And then he started acting that way with you... He caught you out of guard...

It was silent, you didnt understand why you should be there, but the fact is that you were so afraid. Chishiya only said to be there and walk... It wasnt that much, but just as fast as you got there, you felt something on your back and then everything was dark.

When you woke up, you were in a room and Niragi, just with a couple of other important people -you just knew they were important because they were with the Hatter, the only one you could recognize besides Niragi because of the colors of his clothes.- You barely could see, actually, your eyes were still dealing with the lights.

- So that's the little bitch, huh? - You could listen to Hatter's voice. He came near of you and showed you a couple of cards. - Trying to steal from me ? You bastard really thought you could steal from me and just run away ?

You just didnt understand, you didnt had any card with you. You knew what happened to traitors and you always gave your cards to the beach just as you was told.

-B-But... I give my cards to you, I know I do. I'm not dumb

- Oh honey, dont play the stupid card. We found the cards with you, you were running away... You have many here... You haven't been to all this games lately, have you ? Have you been stealing from someone else, darling? - Hatter seemed to be genuinely angry and you were so afraid to say anything.

-I...

- Yes... - And you heard that familiar voice... That was Chishiya but you were hoping he would only come to help you... - My cards have been disappearing as I told you. I connected that it happened after every game I played with her after we became close... That's when I came to talk to you... - That was so much information you couldn't even handle. Chishiya betrayed you, lied about you and used you as his little toy just so he could... Distract people while he was doing whatever he was really planning and wasn't telling you... It was so clear... Oh God you felt so dumb and now it was like all your fights for being alive in that place had no value at all... Because you let yourself get caught by that stupid feeling...

Chishiya looked at you with the same cold eyes as always, no guilt... You wasn't expecting any, not after that.

- Well.. Death for the traitors, that's what you've been told - Hatter was just ready to give the orders to Niragi and you didnt really think you deserved to die by the hands of such a disgusting person

At that point you could only cry cause you knew it wasn't worth it to try arguing... Chishiya was too damn smart and there would be no evidence of mistakes if you knew him...

- She was stealing from me, right ? So I think I have the right to end this with my own hands? - Everyone got so surprised because Chishiya wasnt exactly the kind of guy who got involved with the dirty part of the job.

- Are you sure about this ? - Hatter never really doubted about Chishiya because he knew how much about himself he didnt show people... So Yes, killing someone because of a couple of cards didn't surprise him at all, maybe because he would do the same. - Whatever... Just be done with it by the morning... And dont even think about playing any kind of game Chishiya... You could be the next one.

Chishiya wasnt even listening. Niragi seemed literally so frustrated but, at some point, all people left.

Chishiya caught the gun that was above the table and came near you. You were crying silently but so hard... - What do you want? You wanna torture me now? Seeing me playing the stupid in love all this time wasnt enough for you? You want to literally kill me? How did you do that? - You were screaming, at that point you didnt care if someone would hear.

- You don't understand, right? - And then he showed a couple of cards, this time, one of each... Oh god... He literally used you to get Hatters's cards. - I'm sorry you made the wrong choices... But I needed to to this... I want to get out of here just as much as you...  About the plan... You know I have access to the cards after the games... It's not that hard to steal the repeated ones, they don't pay that much attention on them... And also, just after I did it, I came to talk to Hatter about my card disappearing so the he wouldn't miss anything... It wasnt that har actually, it was just a distraction... But you know so much about me and my plans so I couldn't let you alone with Niragi or any of those people cause they're so dumb they might believe you and that's would be a problem for me... So

- You bastard, What do you think you are? God? You think you can just come and sacrifice people? - You wanted to beat him so hard it almost gave you the strength to break that stupid string around you. He just smiled that way you used to love but now make you nauseous.

- If I were god... I wouldn't allow people as easy to manipulate as you to live with the others, darling... Dont blame me for trusting the person everyone told you that shouldn't be trusted... Now... Let's get this done. - He pointed the gun at your forehead and you screamed as you closed your eyes.

- Please... Please Chishiya. I didnt mean anything for you at all?

- There's no meaning when there's no feeling, y/n... You're not in high school, you're playing for your life, and so am I... And you lost. I'm so sorry for you. - For the first time he seemed to be nervous but you couldn't see much anyway... He pulled the trigger... And then it was over.

[cloudycrystalkpop]

SMOKY | Hell Below

Blind! Prince! Mingi x [unstated skin deformity] fem! reader

Words: 2k+

Warnings: self harm, possessiveness, demonic interaction

au: crown royal au | moodboard

series masterlist: SMOKY

~

Seonghwa paced back and forth in front of your door. He was placed on guard duty this evening and it was slowly torturing him.

Normally he would never complain, more than happy to forgo his own rest to know that his princess slept safe and sound. However, he was very aware that at the moment, his princess was not sleeping at all.

He gritted his teeth as he heard your voice moan out a name in pleasure. The name of your husband. A name that wasnt his.

Seonghwa squared his shoulders. He had made you a promise, one a very very long time ago.

When he was the man having you sing such pretty praises. When he wrote his name in calligraphy with his tongue between your thighs.

A promise he painted into your skin, one very late night. Kissing every patch that made you shy. Every inch that your family frowned upon. Every piece you had ever wanted to burn off.

"I will protect you, until the day my heart stops beating, And surely even after."

he is more than just a knight. No, after holding you, bare as the day you were born, shaking in his arms. After the words of hate and disgust at the case your very soul lived in, at watching you take blades to try and peel the unwanted flesh away, he would never ever let you hurt yourself again.

He would never abandon you, even if you took his heart right out of his chest, it was always yours anyway.

Seonghwa held his head in his hands. He was always yours anyway.

"They sure are loud huh?" Seonghwa jumped and reached for the sword on his belt at the voice.

"Sorry, bad night?" Hongjoong asked, standing before the heartbroken man.

"Yeah just, stuck in my own head." Seonghwa admitted. The other man nodded, scanning him with curious eyes.

"You and your princess sure are, close." he stated. The words curled on his tongue, watching Seonghwa flitched as the sound of a high pitched groan came from the lover's room.

"We... Used to be." he replied.

"I see. Makes sense why youre not so fond of that Duke." he quirked an eyebrow, a sly grin pulling at his features. "Hey, you wanna know a secret~" the man purred.

"Not tonight Hongjoong. Im not in the mood for your teasing." Seonghwa frownd.

"Hmm~ if you say so." his smile pulled into a playful childlike one, before Hongjoong skipped off down the hall, leaving Seonghwa alone with his thoughts once more.

~

Hongjoong purred to himself as he glanced over his shoulder as the knight stood at the lovers door. Lust is a very powerful tool in his bag of tricks, one that, it looks like, will do him very, very well.

~

you spent your days now often with Yeosang, his experience and wisdom helping you greatly in easing your nerves. he told you many stories, explained much about the kingdom you had never dared to venture around in.

whenever you did leave your family's estate, it was always with Seonghwa as your loyal guard. a long veil to hide you away from the world, or heaven forbid you simply, existing taint your family name.

you remembered the day The King died. he was an old man, had been sick for years. while not beloved by his people, he was well respected, and yet. when he passed, no one knew anything about him. there was no mourning, for there was no loss.

The Queen had fully stepped into power then, ten years younger than her husband she was more than capable of leading. and so it had been since your early teens. The Queen was now however, ready to pass her power, rather than see it out live her too, just like her husband.

and that, was where the crown prince and princess had come in. the pair lost at sea in a tragic shipwreck, the kingdom scrambling to find a new replacement. you and Mingi were nobles, sure. second rate royals even, your father once a prince, a second born. Mingi was next in line to become a Duke, chosen over Yeosang for your hand in marriage for, such a trivial reason. or so you thought.

“my family comes from the Valley, My Lady. Lord Mingi’s comes from the Sea.” Yeosang explained, an, almost forlorn look in his eye. “when yourself and your husband were married, it showed a joining of the land and the sea. loosening trade deals with other lands, its... business I'm afraid.”

“that’s all marriage is good for after all anyway. its just business.” you gazed off out the window, watching the roses sway in the morning breeze. the garden was beautiful, flowers in full bloom.

“I’m sorry you feel so my lady. but, you must admit how darling and romantic an idea it is.” Yeosang followed your gaze.

“to be married?” you wondered.

“the prince of the sea, wed to the princess of the forest. and a man who cannot see, tied to a woman never allowed to be seen.” he hummed softly.

“sounds like a horrible tragedy of a play to me.” you shook your head, eyes falling to your lap. “I should have a word with the playwright.”

“would you have preferred a different ending?” Yeosang wondered, dropping his head down to force you to look him in the eye. you chuckled, watching the corners of his eyes crinkle in a smile.

“I haven't decided.” you answered. “...are the flowers in the valley in bloom this time of year?” you asked.

“oh yes. the wild flowers were always my favorite as a boy. my sisters and I used to go out and make crowns out of them.” his voice was soft, eyes far away. caught in a memory from boyhood.

“...will you take me there some time, Yeosang?” his gaze focused back on you once more.

“if you wish to see it My Lady.” he grinned. “I will braid you a crown so lovely the royal jewels will be jealous.”

“promise me?” your voice betrayed you. a crack of pain hidden away there.

such a very different ending you could have had. one where you could spend your life safe, hidden away from the judgment and piercing eyes your mother always frightened you of. flowers in your hair, children at your feet, a husband who could provide for your every need. free to play in the forest of your childhood. there was no judgment from the trees, nor would you find it in the open fields.

“you have my word... My Lady.”

but your life was no fairy tale. you were to be queen of a kingdom you barely knew. sure, you had a husband, a man to wear the title of “king”, but both you and Mingi knew, the queen is the most powerful piece on the board.

~

“My little Prince~” you called to the darkness of the room as you returned to your chambers for the evening. “Mingi?” you cooed once more, looking around for the tall man.

“we need to talk.” you nearly screamed, the voice was not your husband’s. upon turning on your heel, you came face to face with...

“Seonghwa! you nearly had me jump out of my skin!” you huffed, smacking the man on the side of his arm.

“hey! I'm sorry I scared you but, I'm serious.” he sighed, rubbing his arm.

“very well.” you huffed, seating yourself on the plush bed and waiting for his explanation. Seonghwa shuffled, changing his weight from one foot to the other, gaze fixed on the floor. “well? when did you become so awkward?”

“since I had to listen to you having sex for hours last night.” he growled. your ears glowed hot, but you choked the embarrassment down.

“I am sorry, I'm sure that was a bit.. uncomfortable-”

“you don’t get it do you, Princess.” he lifts his eyes to meet yours. “I love you.”

a lump forms in your throat. you do not move, only stare him down, unblinking, unreactive.

“I have been in love with you for almost five years now. I was the one who took your virginity, I was the one who held you when you cried, I was the only who protected you from the evils of this world. and I-” his voice cracked. Seonghwa, your loyal knight in shining armor, the one who had been by your side for the better half of your life, was in tears before you.

“I love you! I'd do anything for you! I've been with you since you were just a young girl! I've stood beside you through everything! and I can't pretend that it doesn't hurt me anymore!” his eyes sparkled with tears, cheeks damp and voice horse.

“... I-” you never got a chance to finish your thought as the door swung open once more.

Mingi stood in the doorway, blank eyes staring straight ahead of him, his face blank of any emotion.

“get. out. of. our. room.” never had you heard the intimidation in Mingi’s voice before. his voice rumbled deep in his chest, but his tone now, was that of a final, deadly warning.

Seonghwa stared at Mingi, shoulders taught, fists clenched. but he didn't say a word.

“...you are dismissed Seonghwa.” you finally broke the tense silence between the two man.

“as you wish, My Princess.” Seonghwa made his way towards the door, stepping past Mingi, only to be halted by said man shoving him against the wood, hard.

“if you dare, to even think of touching my wife, if even the thought of her in such context even passes your mind,” he growls. “I will have you executed for adultery.”

Mingi stepped away from a very shocked Seonghwa.

“she may be your Princess, but she will be your Queen. and never, for a moment forget, she will only be your queen, and she is my wife.” and with that he slammed the door shut.

~

Mingi developed a possessiveness over you, you must admit you didn’t expect. the once shy boy who could barely speak to you, now kept one hand on your person at all times you were together. when asked he said he preferred you guide him over a staff member. but you know by now Mingi knew this castle perfectly fine. he didn't need help or a guide anymore. he was lying.

he also got rather upset if you were left alone with another person too long, without himself or his chosen guard close by. his chosen guard? Hongjoong.

you woke one morning to find bruises so deep on your hips and chest they looked like black ink in the mirror. Mingi was marking you now. like you were something that belonged to him.

knowing who you needed to speak with, you snuck away one morning, before the sun rose. to find Hongjoong.

~

“your highness! what a pleasant surprise~” the handsome man cooed.

“may I speak with you? in private.” you glanced to the rest of the guard, Seonghwa the only one not meeting your gaze.

“oh? absolutely. please, come with me.” Hongjoong lead you out into the gardens, just as the first touches of dawn peeked over the skyline.

“alright creature. out with it. what have you done to the prince.” you growled, arms crossed as you glared at Hongjoong.

“such mean words from the ‘princess’ herself~” he smiled a grin, one a little too long and a little too wide for his face.

“why are you here?”

“what a stupid question! you already know that answer~ otherwise you wouldn’t have asked to speak to me, alone.”

“fine, who summoned you?”

Hongjoong chuckled, one in tone too deep for the voice he speaks with. “the dead king of course. but that was a long time ago you see.”

“speak to me truthfully creature, did you make a deal with Mingi?” you glared him down. while your experience with his kind was limited, you understood the one true weakness they had. they cannot directly lie.

Hongjoong grinned once more, that same unnatural once, the one that extended too far up his face, showing teeth a human man wouldn’t have. his eyes crinkled at the edges in the grin, the white parts of his eyes turning dark as a bruise.

“no.”

you held back a whimper at his voice. inhuman. demonic. bloodcurdling.

“...thank you. you are dismissed.” you blinked, and the man was back as he was. charming smile and handsome features glowing once again in the dawn.

“as you wish, your highness.” and with that, he walked back into the castle. leaving you alone in the garden, a ring of dead grass surrounding where the pair of you had stood.

[obsessive-ego]

Invisible?

Beetlejuice x reader

Beej and reader have a fight, reader pretends beej is invisible to get back at him

Sorta nsft, crude language

"I cant believe you, I asked you multiple times, we had a deal and still"

Beetlejuice, after promising he wouldnt, scared the piss out of your friend who dropped by to help you fix your laptop, you two had a deal, he refrains from scaring and you buy him those salted tarantulas he loved so much. But no, he broke your deal. Your poor friend was was in tears it was so bad, he even left his coat behind, even worse he wouldnt responded to your calls or texts as you were trying to do damage control and cover up what beetlejuice did.

"Come on babes, i was doing ya a favor-"

"How?! By ruining what little soical life I have?! Making the people I care about be afraid to come near me?!" You snap back, you didnt have many friends, there was nothing wrong with that, you just only had a few, and now you're terrified that you lost one for good because of the demon.

Glancing to your phone, still no response

"Well he's gotta come back for his coat sugar" beetlejuice shrugs

You scowl at the ghoul, Beetlejuice's confidence shrinks at the sight of how mad you really were, to the point it looked like you were going to cry, he huffs.

"Like I said sugar, I was doing you a favor, I KNOW guys like that, they help a gal out, in hopes they'll get a little-"

"YOU DONT KNOW SHIT!"

the ghoul flinches at your tone, purple hue taking over his appearance, you never raised your voice to that extent.

"We had a deal, you broke it cuz you dont care about anything but a cheap thrill" you were right in his face, it was a weird scene, a delicate breather yelling at a demon they have backed into the wall.

"Whoa there, believe me, your friend-"

"I don't want to hear it, if shit went bad I would have called you, but they would never do that, you're just looking for an excuse to-" you sigh, deflating and anger being replaced with exhaustion "who cares, theres no point in even arguing with you, just forget it" you back down, and shuffle to your bedroom to mope, curious on why you gave up, beetlejuice follows, till he gets to your room, placing his ear against the door, nothing.

He huffs, okay so maybe he just wanted to scare your friend, to have his cake and eat it too, and maybe he was jealous at how well the two of you got along, and yeah he was lying on how he could tell your friend had alternative motives, but hes a demon straight from hell, scaring is what he does, deal or no deal, you dont ask a bird to stop flying. Floating over to the living room he flops down on the couch, he sighs, whatever, you'll be back to your easy going self tomorrow, and you'll forgive him, like always, you were the bigger person after all.

...

Morning comes and Beetlejuice perks up when he sees you heading to the kitchen to start your morning routine, he quickly joins you, eager to see if your not as mad as you were for his little joke.

"Morning babes"

No response, maybe you're still half asleep.

"G'morning" the tries again a little louder, still no response, he huffs, grabbing onto your arm and giving it a yank, causing you to stumble "I said, morning"

You yank your arm back, refusing to look at the ghoul as you continue to make your coffee

You brush past him as if he was invisible, you were still mad.

"So you're gonna give me the cold shoulder huh? You're gonna regret that" he mutters watching you stare at your phone as you enjoyed your morning coffee.

It starts off simple, beetlejuice slapping your phone out of your hand, and you picking it back up as if you dropped it, then he bumped it up following you around the house being in the way, following you into your room, leaning against the door watching you get dressed, making lewd comments and gestures the entire time

"Pretty cute panties sugar, shame they don't match the bra" "why dont you just hang around in your undies today baby? It's too hot to not" giving you a jerking off motion the whole time you were changing.

But Still no response from you, you were being so stone faced, beetlejuice had to legit question if he was invisible again, he wasnt. What happened to his jumpy easily embarrassed breather? Were you really that upset?

The entire day went on like this, every time you would make eye contact with beej he would pull a disgusting face to try and get something from you, dehinging his jaw, and have a tarantula crawl out, or replacing his eyes with mouths, at one point he pull out all the stops, a face so horrible and horrific, he did get you to react,seeing the colour drain from your face, but you made a quick retreat to the bathroom to regroup, a small victory and he took it, shame you didnt scream or curse at him though.

Leaning against the closed bathroom door he snickers "nice try babes, I'll give ya that, but no one can ignore the ghost with the most, so how about you drop this silly game"

No response

Enough was enough, Hes had it with this childish game, you're supposed to be the bigger person not him, beetlejuice phases his head through the door, completely red "I WILL NOT BE IGNORED Y/N" he shrieked, steam practically coming out of his ears.

And as if on cue, you leave the bathroom as if you didnt have a ghost head screaming at you on the door.

The red quickly leaves Beetlejuice's hair and is replaced with an awful mix of blue and purple, this was worse then being banished, he'd rather have you yelling at him then this, at least you'd be talking to him, acknowledging him, pulling his head out of the door, he floats after you.

Seeing you sitting on the couch messing around with your phone, he sits down next to you, you dont look up from what you're doing, but you do notice his now purple and blue hue, as bad as you feel about that, You cant break now.

The rest if the evening beetlejuice hung close by you, never saying a word, never touching you, just being there, watching you.

As you head to bed, the ghoul doesnt follow, he stays behind twiddling his thumbs, feeling rotten, he forgot how awful it was to be invisible, and hell he wasnt, he was just being treated as such, what's gotten into you? You're never this strict on being mad with him, you normally would break by now. He sighs, were you really that mad at him messing with your friend? How long will this go on? He didnt want the one breather he cared for so much to pretend he wasnt there anymore. Being invisible sucks, being alone sucks, he wants your attention back, he wants you back.

As you get yourself ready for bed, you hear a knock at your door, weird, cuz beetlejuice would either just barge in or walk through the wall, before you could debate on acknowledging him you hear him speak

"Hey, y/n? I get it, you're pissed, and this is you getting back at me, yeah, I know I broke our deal, and our promise, and scared the piss out of that scrawny breather, and I'm sorry"

You basically go bug eyed at that, you didnt think beetlejuice was capable of apologizing

"I'd rather you be screaming at me till you're blue in the tits, then to have you ignore me, a harsh reminder how lonely I use to be when I was invisible, without you, so..." he trailed off

You opened the door to see the demon, completely purple, he flinches at the sight of you, nervous on how you'd react

"I forgive you" you say softly

You see Beetlejuice's expression change on a dime, to depressed to over joyed, in a split second you were in him arms, his scruffy beard rubbing against your neck as he spun you around the room, once the spinning stops the demon still hold you tight, refusing to let your feet touch the ground.

"That's all I wanted from you, an apology" you manage to squeak out

"You should have said so sweets"

"That's not the point" you push away from the ghoul as a signal you want to be pit down, he reluctantly does so "the point is I shouldn't have to tell you, and I know it's something we gotta work on if we're gonna make this whole thing work, I dont like being mad at you" you sigh "but let's drop it for tonight yeah?" You walk over to the bed, turning to face the demon, slightly purple, fiddling with his tie, you give him a soft smile "would you like to sleep with me tonight?"

The purple hue quickly leaves him and is replaced with soft pink and green, yes beetlejuice has slept with you on many occasions, but was NEVER invited, he always just snuck in while you were asleep and see your embarrassed face in the morning.

"Only if you'll respect me in the morning, babes"

You snort a laugh "of course Beej"

In a flash you were tucked in with beetlejuice next to you, his arms wrapped around you, more then two, hands holding you as if you would up and leave him, one tangled in your hair, one rubbing your back, one on each shoulder, hell you even felt them gripping your ankles, and yet not a one groping you in any way, it was a mess of limbs.

"I guess you're not invisible anymore huh?" You whisper

The demon snorts, pulling you closer to his side "you're gonna regret that joke sugar"

You try to smile but are interrupted with a yawn.

"Night sweets"

Bonus

Waking up in the middle of the night as you're known to do, forgetting the demon was holding you, you wake up in an anxious state, you quickly calm down when you remember what happened earlier. The ghoul's hands were still all over you, still shocked that not a single one has tried to grope you, as he was known to do.

You sigh content that your little childish game got the better of him, yes you felt bad about it, but it paid off to get him to take something seriously.

As you were about to go back to sleep a low grumble catches your attention, looking over to beej, in the dark you you could see he was more purple then green, you frown.

"Y/n don't leave me alone...." a low mumble, Beetlejuice's grip tightens around you, pulling you close to him, was he talking in his sleep?

You snuggle close to the demon, gently kiss his lips and whisper

"I wont, I promise"

Despite the ghoul being asleep you swear you see him smile.

Tomorrow you'll make it up to him for your childish torment.

[negandarylsatisfaction]

[SUMMARY: Negan and Deena have a child together but have recently separated. Negan becomes jealous of the new man in Deenas life.]

Drama

[TW: physical abuse mentioned.]

Negan and Deena.

Rushing between getting your two year old son ready for his father and yourself ready for your date made you anxious. Negan would be here any minute to pick up Jack and Michael would be here any minute to see you. Michael had taken you out on a few dates already and you had spent a lovely time with him. This was the first man you dated since Negan and you had broken up. He was the first man since Negan to give you butterflies. You had invited Michael to your home knowing it was Negans day to pick up Jack for a few hours and youd have the house to yourself. A home cooked meal and a movie is what you had prepared for him as he had always planned sweet things for you. The thought of these two men arriving around the same time made you nervous as Negan had no idea you had met someone. Sooner or later he would know. What did he care anyway? The two of you had been long done. What you didnt know was Negans feelings for you never stopped. The man regretted ever hurting you to the point of you leaving him. He didnt say much as he knew you were a woman who once made up your mind, it was the final choice. Yet, it killed him each time he came to see his son, you no longer acted as the woman he once knew.

Gasping at the sound of the bell you looked out the window to see Negans truck. Stuffing the bag with a couple of Jack's favorite toys you made your way to the door with him in your arms. You seemed to have forgotten how you were dressed as the second you opened the door Negans eyes glimmered at the sight of you.

"Jack had a snack not too long ago so he might not be hungry for dinner right away." You quickly began to explain. As he took the bag and carried the baby his brows furrowed as his eyes looked down at your body. A mauve colored sundress hugged your curves, it had been too long since Negan saw you dressed up this way.

"Where are you going?" Negan wasnt one to beat around the bush, he was quick and direct.

"I- I'm not going anywhere." You responded softly, as it was true. Negan standing at the door way didnt move a muscle.

"You sure as hell are dressed up for someone." His voice was calm yet stern.

"That's none of your business." You turned away quickly to grab Jack's shoes that were sitting on the steps behind you. Negan couldnt help but slowly lick his bottom lip at the sight of your backside.

"Isn't that the dress you wore that one night that-"

"Alright, Jack you be good now, ok?" You turned back purposely interrupting Negan making him smirk. He knew how much you hated his sexual remarks.

"Come on, you remember that night dont you?" His voice was low and almost dare you say, seductive. Of course you remembered that night.

"That was the night I just couldnt wait for us to get back home after your cousins party. Had to stop the car half way home to have you, then took you again when we came in through the door right on these very stairs." Negan grinned noticing you get hot, he could tell the thought still aroused you.

"Shit, the thought still makes me tingle."

"That's enough." You cleared your throat when you suddenly noticed a navy blue car pull up behind Negans car.

It was Michael.

Negan noticed the distraction in your eyes and turned around to see a tall built man making his way up the front steps. The feel of jealousy arose inside him like he had never felt before. Who the hell was this man?

"Michael." You smiled making Negan quickly turn to you. The sound of your soft voice so happily saying the name of another man struck a nerve.

"Hi, my love." Michael leaned in with a quick peck, your heart racing not sure what to expect from Negan when Michael turned to him and looked at Jack.

"Hey little man." Negan pulled the baby back in silence before Michael could touch him.

"Negan." You whispered.

"Who the fuck is this?" Negan of course was never one to bite his tongue.

"Negan. This is Michael. Michael, this is Negan the father of my child."

The look on Negans face as he slowly observed this man from head to toe was one you couldnt explain. Michael stared back at him with just the same intense glare.

"Michael." You whispered making him look down at you.

"I'll be right inside ok." You smiled nervously hoping he would walk inside and not instigate a problem with Negan.

"Yeah. Yeah sure." Michael responded as you stepped aside and let him in the house. Closing the door behind you, you scowled at Negan.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" You whispered at Negan.

"Oh relax I'm sure I didnt hurt Romeos feelings." Always with a sarcastic remark, Negan scoffed.

"Stop it. Just go and have a nice day with Jack, ok? I'll give you a call later to check on him."

Just as you turned back to the door Negan couldnt help but let curiosity get the best him.

"How long has this fuckery been going on?"

You sighed turning back to him with hesitation.

"A month and a half."

"You serious about him?"

You nodded, not that it was any of his concern, Negan looked away clearly not liking your response.

"How'd you meet him?"

"What am I being interrogated now on my dating life?" You scoffed.

"You seem to forget, sweetheart when you become serious about a man, that man steps into my son's life. That's where I come in and make sure hes good enough to be around my kid." Although Negan meant what he said, apart of him was also protective of you, still. A piece of him couldnt wrap his head around the idea of you with another man. You sighed knowing you couldnt argue on those terms.

"Michael works at the gas station by my job. That's how we started talking." Negan chuckled turning his face.

"How romantic." He muttered.

"Come on, Jack. Let mommy have her little date with Michael." His emphasis on his name with a disgusted tone.

Stepping back into the house you found Michael sitting on the couch watching a football game. He turned to you and quickly muted the tv.

"What's his problem?"

"Nothing. Hes fine, hell be back later."

You sat next to Michael with a sigh.

"That's just how Negan is, dont think too much into it." Although you did the exact opposite yourself, thinking over to yourself on how Negan looked at you. Thinking of the expression in his eyes when he realized you were with another man.

Negan lay Jack down for his nap and walked into the kitchen still feeling irritated.

"What's wrong with you?" Negans close friend, Simon asked.

"Deena." Negan uttered low as he popped a bottle of beer open and took a sip.

"Deena? What's going on with her?" Simon asked with a puzzled expression.

"Shes dating some prick she met at a gas station. Michael." He mimicked your voice as he said his name in clear annoyance. Simon frowned as he came to a realization of something.

"Which gas station?" He asked curiously.

"On 40th road, by her job."

"Hes got brown hair and a scar on his eyebrow?"

Negan took a sip of his beer as he stared at Simon in confusion with a raised brow.

"You know him?"

"Shit, I know Michael from around the town. He not bad."

Knowing Simon knew the man his ex was now dating didnt settle well in his stomach.

"Shit, that's comforting."

"Come on, it's not like you were anything. better." Simon laughed it off.

Negan ignored his comment knowing he wasnt an innocent man at all. Still, the thought of you with another man wasnt something he liked. The thought of what you and Michael could be doing at that very moment made Negans blood boil. The rush of jealousy he had never felt before coursing through his veins making it hard to not react. He never knew it would hurt this bad seeing you with another man.

It was late in the evening as Michael got his stuff together and was getting ready to leave. The day was filled with some emotional confusion for you, fighting certain thoughts in your mind, you couldnt understand why you were feeling this way. The memory of the night Negan took you out of this very dress stayed in your head all day long. Ever since he mentioned it, you couldnt help yourself. You didnt even have sex with Michael tonight, you couldnt. The guilt you felt knowing Michael was a good man and didnt deserve that.

You sighed as you locked the door, looking over at the time knowing Negan would be here soon with Jack.

He was there much sooner than you thought, before you could even walk away from the door you heard the bell.

Negan stood at the door with Jack asleep on his shoulder. He didnt say a word before walking past you and heading up the stairs to the baby room.

Negan never walked in like this, did he think Michael was there? Was he trying to make a statement?

"Negan." You whispered walking up behind him but of course he didnt listen.

Quietly he walked into Jack's room as he carefully lay him down while you waited outside with your arms crossed.

Negan stepped out and could tell you were a little flustered, the sight always made him smirk.

"What's wrong, princess? Lighten up." He looked down at you with playful eyes. Why was his look making you hot and bothered. He walked past you heading down the stairs into the kitchen helping himself to the fridge.

"What on earth do you think you're doing?!" You yelled forgetting Jack was asleep. This man was acting as if he owned the place, as if he this was still his home. As you paced into the kitchen he abruptly turned around purposely making you crash into him and gasp. His lip slightly curved at the feel of you so close to him, he could feel the heat of your body against his. His eyes wandering down to your lips. God you wanted him to kiss you but instead he leaned in close and whispered a tease.

"Relax, doll. I just want a drink." Turning away you let out a sigh. Why was he doing this? Why was it having this effect on you?

"I take it that he didnt know how to handle you in that fine dress." His emphasis on the word 'fine' as he turned to you leaning back on the counter.

"What makes you think that?" You asked confused as you watched his eyes drift down to your thighs.

"You still have it on."

Your cheeks grew red and hot, Negan couldn't help but grin.

"Oh stop." Your words came out breathlessly as you turned towards the counter on the other side.

"Stop what?" You could hear the seductive tone in his voice, you could hear the hard click of his boots on the floor as he slowly made his way behind you.

"Look at me." His voice was smooth, it couldnt be harder to resist. Slowly you turned around and quietly looked up at him. Negan knew exactly what he was doing to you.

"Tell me you dont feel it."

Your lips parted but you couldnt make a sound. You knew exaclty what he was talking about. The feel of the spark between you both, the emotional pull. Hesitantly you shook your head trying to ignore what he was making you feel. Getting lost in his eyes you knew you were losing the fight.

"Negan please." You whispered as he devoured you with his eyes when he suddenly pulled you into him making you feel his body completely against yours.

Making you feel his hard member press against you. You gasped as his breathing grew heavy.

"You feel it now?"

Of course you could feel it, it was driving you crazy inside. You knew you never stopped loving Negan. You didnt have to say a word for him to know and slowly he leaned his face closer to yours and touched your lips with his.

How did he have this much power over you? The feel of his arms holding you closer, his hand brushing down your back and grabbing your ass. You moaned when suddenly, Michael came to mind. Abruptly you pulled your lips away and turned your face.

"I-I cant." You whispered already feeling guilt. Negan sighed closing his eyes, you were so close yet so far.

"Deena. Deena I still love you." His voice was hoarse under his breath, you could feel your heart beating rapidly at his words.

"Negan.. I-" before you could finish the two of you were interrupted by the loud cries of baby Jack.

"Oh, I- let me go check on him." Turning away you ran upstairs leaving Negan alone in the kitchen. He looked down at the ground feeling defeated. Frustrated with himself he charged towards the door and walked out letting the door slam. You jumped holding the baby in your arms, running to the top of the steps to see Negan had left.

Negan wasnt angry at you, he was more than anything angry at himself. Angry for pushing you away, for hurting you and ever letting you down. Now because of his selfish ways another man was going to have you. He hated himself for this.

Since Negan had left you couldnt stop thinking about him. Thinking of his touch, his voice, the way he held you. You swore you'd never return to this man again it was crazy how one touch could make you forget all the bad.

A few days had passed now, you hadn't heard from Negan but you knew he would come by in the afternoon to pick up Jack. You found yourself feeling nervous, butterflies in your stomach at the thought of seeing Negan again. So lost in this thought that you completely forgot Michael would be coming over too.

Finishing up your hair the door bell rang and you knew it was Michael. You found yourself not feeling too excited to see him. Still, you greeted him with a smile and a kiss. Michael right away sensed a distance between you and him. He could feel the difference in how you kissed him, how you looked at him but he quickly brushed if off.

Following you into the kitchen he watched as you continued cooking quietly with your back to him. He couldnt help but notice you wore pants that were a bit transparent.

"You look nice in those pants."

"Stop, Negan." You giggled when you froze and realized what had just escaped your lips.

"What did you call me?"

The sound in Michael's voice was pure shock.

"Michael I- I meant-"

Michael stood up with a stern expression and walked up close to you.

"What did you call me?" He spoke slowly yet harshly, you could hear the cold anger in his voice.

"It was by accident. I dont know-"

"That's what's been on your mind all fucking day. That's why you been acting like this. Here I was thinking it was just me." Anger over took Michael's emotions, he felt disrespected in a manner he could not take.

"Michael, it was by accident. Please-" Suddenly you were cut off by a hard slap to your cheek. You gasped holding on to the stinging pain you felt, your hair had fallen over your eyes. You couldnt believe what he just did. Before you could say anything the door bell rang, it was Negan.

Composing yourself and fixing your hair you opened the door to greet Negan with a forced smile.

"Deena?" Negan looked at you with a look of confusion. You should've known this man knew you like the back of his hand. It didnt matter how you tried to act, Negan knew you better than anyone else had.

"You ok?"

Before you could respond Michael showed up behind you making himself known. The sight of Michael made Negan chuckle under his breath.

"Shit, I didnt even know you were here."

"Well, um let me go get Jack and his stuff for you." Still in shock with what had just happened you walked into the living room and finished packing some of Jack's toys in the baby bag. As you did Negan quietly watched you, Michael's eyes heavily on him especially as he watched the way he looked down at your ass everytime you turned.

"Come on baby, daddy's here to see you." You leaned over the playpen and picked up Jack before making your way back to Negan.

"Hey, little man." Negan excitedly took Jack in his arms as you stood back quietly. Apart of you didnt want Negan to leave. You had no idea what would happen when he did.

"Alright I'll be back around nine."

"Ok." And with what, Negan turned and left as you closed the door behind him. Taking a deep breath you hesitantly turned back to Michael to find him staring down at you.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. His apology catching you completely off guard.

"I cant believe I did that to you. Come here." Michael took you by your hand and pulled you in hugging you tightly. With your arms around him, you stood in confusion.

"You forgive me, dont you?" Michael sounded sincere but it felt so wrong.

Never in the five years you were with Negan, even through all his jealousy had he ever laid a finger on you.

"Yes." You whispered.

"I'm so sorry its just, I know Negan hurt you and I just got so angry that he was on your mind. He doesnt deserve to be on your mind. I was just trying to protect you."

Speechless you did not move, you couldnt believe his way of justifying what he just did was using something he knew had hurt you before. For the rest of his stay you were silent. Michael remained in a good mood as if nothing had occured earlier.

It was strange, you did not like the feeling.

You were relieved when he finally left.

Negan showed up at nine on the dot with Jack asleep in his arms. You quietly let him in and let him lay Jack in his crib upstairs.

Silently you sat at the kitchen table when Negan walked back in rubbing his face.

"I tell you, that kids got too much fucking energy." He yawned before noticing you didnt seem like you were listening to him. Making circles with your index finger on the wooden table, you didnt even realize he had entered the room. He frowned staring down at you.

"Deena." His tone was bold snapping you out of your thoughts instantly.

"Huh?" You looked up as he tilted his head, his eyes still on you.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing." You shrugged as you stood up pushing the chair in.

"I'm just tired. I had a long day."

"You must've forgotten how long I've fucking known you to think I believe that." He chuckled as you brushed your hair back before his expression quickly turned serious.

"What happened to your face?" Any trace of humor immediately left Negans voice. Your heart sunk at his question not having noticed there was any mark left on you. You quickly turned away, Negan could tell how fidgety you became, he knew something wasnt right.

"Nothing I must've, I don't know-" you cut yourself off as you looked at the mirror on the wall and noticed a very light yet obvious bruising on your cheek.

How did Negan spot it?

Shit, Michael did really give you a hard hit.

Negan showed up behind you in the reflection of the mirror, his brows drawn together as he looked directly at you.

"Something you wanna tell me?"

Your eyes welled up but you held yourself together and cleared your throat.

"No, I must've hurt myself earlier and not realized it when I was cleaning out the closet. A book fell on my face, stupid me." You laughed nervously and walked past him. Of course, he wasnt convinced and you could tell.

"Listen I'm gonna go to bed now. I'm exhausted and I have to be up early. We'll talk tomorrow. Just close the door, I'll lock it after I change." You yawned casually walking up the stairs leaving Negan to think over exactly what he just witnessed.

You were lying to him.

Negan drove straight to Simon's house without notice, a gut feeling eating at him but he knew exaclty where to go. Heading to his door Negan knocked hearing Simon respond in a lazy manner.

"Who is it?!" Simon yelled before Negan responded. Opening his door, he stared strangely at Negan.

"What's going on?" Simon yawned as Negan stared at him boldly.

"Tell me everything you know about Michael."

Simon raised his brows as he had known Negan too long to know when something wasnt right. If anyone knew Negan, they knew he didnt let anything past him especially when it involved the protection of his child and the woman he loved. He swore to get to the bottom of it.