#it sounds exactly like every other song on this album but i remember disliking it idk

[feelin-frazzled]

dude I thought I hated this song why is it on my playlist

[whatisreggieshortfor]

Studio Musician

Semi x gn!reader

When the studio told you that they found a fill in guitarist for your band, you were wary. Most studio sanctioned musicians had an ego, they often wanted to force you to change your music to fit the way they played- but you couldn’t argue this time. The album needed finished to make the release date and your fingers were broken. Your drummer, Ichiya, had never been more anxious, he knew your dislike for studio musicians and was afraid you’d replace him since it was his fault- he hadn’t actually meant to do it, but the bass player Mei had convinced you to prank him with a scare after the band had watched Friday the 13th together. He didn’t recognize you under the hockey mask, slamming his window shut on your fingers as he screamed in panic. You didn’t hold it against him, but being an up and coming rock musician boosted his confidence, it didn’t quell his anxiety, so you just tried to reassure him every day that you wouldn’t leave him behind.

So here you waited, sagging in a chair at the soundboard as you waited for the guitarist.

Who was running late.

The sound designer swore he would be there any minute, but you were getting irritated the longer he left you waiting. It had already been twenty minutes passed the agreed upon time, you had other things to do besides waiting to argue with some guy that you weren’t changing the song to fit how he thought it should sound!

Tossing your head back, you scowled at the ceiling, ignoring the studio workers that flitted about the room in preparation and review of what you’d already recorded. “Doesn’t this guy know what being on time means?” You groaned, noting the clock read he was now thirty minutes late.

“Hey! Sorry, I’m here. Traffic is a nightmare.”

Lifting your head, you regarded the bowing man just inside the door. Why was he wearing a dress shirt? You could even see his tie dangling to the floor in front of him. “Better late than never. You received the tracks and sheet music, right?”

“Yes?” He answered in a questioning tone as he stood up straight, regarding you where you sat. You were glad you were already annoyed, otherwise how pretty he was might cause different attention issues. “Could you get the singer for me so we could get started?”

The studio staff around you seemed to freeze- you weren’t exactly known for having an easy going nature while you worked, even if you treated them with what most musicians viewed as more respect and friendliness than they deserved. They also knew you were having a bad day after forgetting your pain medication on the table of the apartment you shared with your band mates. Half of them had secretly placed bets on whether you’d even still be here when the guitarist showed.

Bracing for an argument, they watched as you scoffed, “I am not here to serve you. Get in the booth and show me what you’ve got.”

The grey haired man furrowed his brow, looking more like he was remembering something than he was preparing to snap back, “Wait a second, I know that voice from interviews… are you Y/N?”

“And we have a winner.” You rolled your eyes, standing from your seat and gesturing to the sound booth door you couldn’t open with a cast on your dominant hand, “Are we gonna get started or what? It’s already late and I have more mixing to do tonight.”

“Uh, yeah, sure.” He pulled his guitar from the case, gently fixing the tuning as you moved back to glaring at the ceiling. You just wanted to get this over with. You wished you were at home, watching tv or pranking Ichiya again because you were terrible at learning from mistakes or- “Can I make a suggestion before we start?”

The sound designer choked on her drink as the question came out- she was a huge fan of yours but panicked any time someone would question your music, she didn’t want to see you kicked from the studio. Your gaze shifted to meet his, fire burning in your irises, “What suggestions?”

He shrugged- were you even going to learn his name before it got printed on the album?- and finally finished setting up his guitar, “Just wondering if you could play me the tracks first so I can hear how you wanted it to sound outside of the sheet music.”

Your gaze was scrutinizing as you stared at him like he’d grown a second head, before finally giving a nod, “I’m sure Dahla can bring those up for you.”

“Who?”

The sound designer waved her hand at his question, you gestured to her, “Dahla. Our sound designer. Do not raise your voice to her, do not make demands. Make a request in a normal tone and she’s usually happy to comply.”

“Uh,” he blinked, unsure why he was being given this information, “Do you guys have shitty luck with studio players around here or something?”

“You could say that.” You gave her a pat on the shoulder, and she immediately queued up the first track, letting him get a feel for it before he disappeared into the sound booth.

It has been three days of working with the same musician, and you still didn’t know his name. Normally you wouldn’t care, when the recordings finished you generally went on your way and didn’t give them another thought, but unlike the others he respected your music. Unlike others, he heeded your words about the way to treat Dahla. Like Ichiya, she suffered anxiety that she majorly overcame to get a job working with artists she admired, but any time she was treated poorly it racked at her self esteem. This guitarist had been the first in a while that you could watch her willingly engage with. And you found yourself watching him more and more as the editing sessions and recordings continued. At the end of the final recording, Dahla just had to open her mouth about it, “So, Y/N, are you going to take him out to celebrate finishing? You know, like you usually do?”

You absolutely did not usually do that, but she mentioned it in front of him for a reason, making you stutter, “Uh, sure? If, you know, if he wants to. We should still be able to find somewhere open, if it’s not too late at night.”

It was pushing eight o clock, there were plenty of places open, but at the same time it gave him an out to claim he had to be up early or that he couldn’t go for one reason or another.

“Sounds fun, will you be joining us?” He shined that smile you’d realized was damn near perfect at Dahla, who offered up an easy laugh.

“Oh- can’t! I have to get the final cut to the agent, and Ichiya and Mei demanded I bring the hard copies over tonight.”

His brow furrowed, “Couldn’t Y/N just bring it home with-“

“Nope!” Dahla cut him off, waving and smiling, “It’s my job as the sound designer to make sure everyone is happy with the finished product.”

Blinking, the man turned to you as if looking for help, but you just sighed, “I would just let it go if I were you. Stubbornness is one of the reasons her tracks are always perfect.”

Dahla knocked her hip against yours as she stood up, slipping her jacket on, “And it’s why you always request me when working in the studio. Now, I’m off, have a great night you two!”

The man- you really needed to learn his name- raised an eyebrow as she scurried out the door, “She’s not a subtle one, is she?”

A bark of laughter escaped you, you hadn’t thought he caught on, “No. No, she is not. But how about that bite to eat?”

“So, what do you do?”

He was caught off guard by the question, blinking at you, “I play guitar?”

Rolling your eyes, you turned in your seat at the ramen counter to look at him, “Thanks, genius. I meant, what do you do usually? I figured it was safe to assume you didn’t wear a suit the first day because that was how you dress to play guitar.”

“Oh.” His cheeks flushed, “Yeah, sorry again for being late. Traffic actually wasn’t bad, but I got held up at my day job. Was afraid to say it because I didn’t want to studio to take the job back.”

“Not like they could.” You smirked, waving your still casted hand, “I can’t play. All the musicians staffed by the studio refuse to work with me. So they called in a…”

“Civil servant Semi Eita, at your service,” he mock saluted, “I work for the government, but music is my passion. Why do the other musicians refuse to work with you?”

You hummed, chuckling as you looked back at your bowl, “I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’m not exactly a ray of sunshine. The musicians that have filled in before- say when Mei was sick or Ichiya managed to slam his fingers in a car door- they always tried to make me change the music to fit their style.”

He scoffed, “It isn’t their music to change.”

“Exactly!” You exclaimed, “But it labeled me as hard to work with, especially since I take part in the whole process up to when it actually hits the shelves.”

“You didn’t give me much trouble, aside from when I made you wait.”

“Made me wait and assumed I was studio staff.”

Semi winced, playing with his chopsticks to avoid looking up at you, “Yeah, not my best move. You look different outside of your stage get up.”

“My stage ‘get up’ isn’t a look.” You laughed, “I just happened to be very dressed down for a day in the studio when we met. Can’t do my full look with this cast on.”

He seemed to regard you for a moment, before offering a shrug, “You look good either way.”

You snorted, giving him a funny look as he seemed to realize what he said, “I was kidding- you know that right? No sane person would do that much work for an every day look.” He nodded, but you didn’t think he was even registering your words as he stared into space with a stone stiff posture. “Uh, Semi? You okay?”

He jerked to look at you, eyes wide despite the usual confidence you saw in him, “You know my name?”

Cringing, you gave him an embarrassed smile, “I didn’t until you said it, when you said you worked for the government.”

Was that a flash of disappointment in his eyes? “Yeah, that makes more sense.”

“To be fair, you never told it to me when we met. Which is probably my fault. I was annoyed you were late, and then I was glad you were late because if I stayed annoyed I wouldn’t get distracted from the work.”

“Why would you get distracted?”

“Cause you’re hot?” You were confused, didn’t he know that?

Suddenly the confidence you knew came back, a smirk sliding onto his face, “You think I’m hot?”

“I assume most people do,” you countered easily, sipping your sake, “I mean I have working eyes.”

“Good to know.” He answered, more to himself than anything, the smirk never leaving his face that night.

If your tour a few months later happened to have his band as the opener, many fans speculated that he must have impressed you- it was common knowledge that he was credited on the album after all. No one ever confirmed or denied the allegations, because, well… the reasoning was for you two to know.

No matter how much Dahla and Ichiya gave you shit about it.

Masterlist

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary102

12/23-24/2023

saturday - sunday

listening to black eyes and

thinking about how much more i mostly like black dice. a much crazier white belt band at least. when they were in that phase at least. i don't dislike black eyes, i like the one who screams a lot more in that band, i like the song a pack of wolves a lot. but idk. this band has been a sticking point w/ the 00s wave of pxhc noise rock freaky faggy stuff i've always liked, especially since that time, they just never did it for me entirely, a little too measured feeling, which is crazy to say, when people know them as being such a crazy band. but idk, i remember even at the time when thinking of the especially no-wavey stuff, i'd just want to listen to coughs (the band (not black eyes' second record)). but the vocalist who does the high pitched girly voice is awesome, i can't lie, he adds a ton to the songs. but the blood brothers have that and are like 10x better. i appreciate how arty these guys are, it's interesting how this feels like a band where every single member is firing on every cylinder and playing exactly what they want, and what they want is like, what if public image ltd. were a little gayer, but somehow, that's isn't connecting to me perfectly. the two drummers thing is cool too but idk. it doesn't do a ton for me but it is very listenable, being less hardcore/fast and with more room to breathe, much more dance oriented stuff on it too, while still being very atonal, it's an interesting mid-point. their album after this one is like, total no-wave, not just inspired by but totally decoherent, atonal, and strange. i'm less interested in that one. it's interesting but like, not compelling totally.

the closer on their s/t is at least really good. 2 very good songs, on the record at least.

definitely their best song though. i've heard people say the high pitched screechy one sounds like devi from girls rituals and stuff, i can hear it.

here is another really good song by a different band, really sick dance-punk stuff.

i have not read today, i might still but idk. i did do a song today, and i think i'm really getting closer and closer to learning what i need to do in like, basically all the songs. all the ones that still feel fucked i need to go through and do some very simple stuff to, that simple stuff being low pass on the snares, low pass the kicks, reduce the decay of the kicks a bunch, and see if the synth guitar things are too saturated or not, and maybe low pass them, and also, replace one of the modules in psp infinistrip when i go to old ones, because one i have in cuts some highs in a weird way, a whole low pass on that i never noticed, it's very subtle but it's not what my tracks need, they need that really annoying high end at times i think.

i found something really fun on flickr today from this acc:

these were taken in laforet, a mall in harajuku/by harajuku (i've been there it's really cool t b h) in 08 i think:

i love the huge gaudy pixel art, and the colors a ton. i've been thinking about that kind of really excessive/dirty looking pixel art recently, it's a really sick looking thing, i kind of want to go there w/ what i do next for cover art, so i guess i'll try and figure out a way to get there that looks good. i'd probably have to keep stuff around sensible resolutions to upscale. i wonder what i'll do w/ the traced bugs i do for it.

also thinking about the pink/yellow together, i should try that out, maybe make the text a really extreme yellow. that would be fun.

also look at the little accessories they had for sale w/ that:

i want them very badly.

another thing that had me thinking about the gaudy pixel art stuff was that one promo game / music vid hybrid thing cactus made, one of the guys who made hotline miami, for the other guy who helped him make hotline miami eventually:

cactus games in general, i was really really into that whole thing in hs. i like how much now i can tell that he was biting from the fort thunder thing.

i have to put something bedazzled on the cover. i think. blocky rhinestones or something in a pattern. maybe i do that with certain hi res pix i got off of internet archive of jewels, downsize them after indexing them. or make tiny, index, make big, and then down again? who knowsss. maybe find multiple jewels for it too i have 2, that's fun i think, use the jewels to trace a shape, like a butterfly wing, for 2 of the wings around the circular bit in the center. i like that.

a higher res pic of the ad.

i'd like to find more weird shit like that, prints w/ gaudy pixel art, appropriated for fashion/something unrelated to games broadly.

anyway check these socks:

all of this brings to mind chiho aoshima now:

i really love the fire one, the interaction w/ a photograph and digital work overlaid is still really exciting to me, on a base level i guess, the threshold where two things intrude on the other. the sculpture is just very cute to me i think, i love though that it's a manifestation of the work nearby, the way the sort of fantasy / escapist otaku work leaves material consequences. that might be a reach, honestly, it at least gestures at that emotionally though i suppose.

anyways, i am tired-ish, more that i think i should be tired now but am not.

so

byebye!!!!!!!

[lovee-infected]

So Merlin the goddamn great, smh but no ROOK LORE I AM FURIOUS! I STILL WANT TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS

Warning: Spoiler alert!

Oooooofff the final episodes of chapter 5 did seriously explode the fandom I see, from the overblot Grim to our twst Merlin, everything literally everything about the end of this chapter was a big surprise but... This chapter has also brought up a considerably huge wave of drama along with it, which is basically because of Rook voting for RSA instead of NRC. I, personally, considered it to be just a reason to laugh and make a meme or two about this chapter and all. But looking at the fandom, I can clearly see that it's been causing some serious consequences, some fans/creators are leaving the fandom, there has been a couple of offensively worded Rook hate posts (small memes and jokes aren't counted) and there's ever a #RookIsOverParty on Twitter now.

Okay but, it was all cool and chill until it was just a joke. Can't you see? This happens in many fandoms! And is often a good chance to laugh! But...This is getting serious. A huge majority of this fandom (even Rook/Vil shippers and Rook stans themselves) are hating on Rook/Rook stans and fans are leaving, therefore I believe the situation needs to be clarified before it leads to more dramas.

Many of you had also requested a Rook analysis before sooooo- here we go!

First off, this episode did eventually give us a considerable amount of Rook lore although it wasn't as perfect as we wanted it to be. Most of us wanted to get to know him more, but I'd say focusing on all we've got already would do for now. But before that, let's talk about what exactly happened in chapter 5 and why are fand hating on Rook rn:

after the performances are voted on, it’s revealed that nrc lost to rsa by just a single vote. that vote turned out to be rook, who voted for rsa in favor of their own team as he was moved by their spirit. the whole nrc team is shellshocked (of course) and vil faints

it’s also later revealed that rook is one of neige’s biggest fans, possessing albums full of his bromides, going to each meet and greet, and even writing him anonymous fan letters.

Okay okay I know this was quite unexpected and resulted in NRC's loss, but before you say how much of a shitty character Rook is consider this:

1) He was totally honest with his opinion and thoughts.

One of the interesting facts regarding Rook's character design and presence in chapter 5, is how he played the role of both the huntsman and the mirror.

He was honest with his beliefs and decision, although it was against his friends. Just as how the mirror introduced Snow White as the fairest one of all although Evil Queen didn't want to hear of her.

This is also what Rook did, he judged based on his idealistics towards beauty. NOT because he's a screaming Neige fanboy and NOT because he disliked Vil.

Honestly, if there's one person whose judgement would be strong and on point, that'll be Rook and only him; in parts (2) & (4) we'll explain why.

2) His decision has nothing to do with his personal relationship with Vil!

Yes, he voted for RSA, but to assume that this means he secretly preferred Neige over Vil all this time and call him a betrayer now, that's wrong.

Look, if there one person who could judge NRC's process through the training sessions fairly, that'll be Rook. He's been there all this time, watching each and every second of Vil's coaching and team's progressing, note that he also helped Vil the most, this performance would've been impossible without his help!

But, he was also there when Vil lost it, when Vil's fear of not being the winner took over him and made him even try to poison Neige. At some point Vil was nothing like the perfect coach he was at the very beginning, and if Rook hadn't told Neige to escape who knows how terrible the whole think might've gone.

His decision, on the other hand, was HIS decision. He was asked to choose one performance, and he chose what he liked; that's all, no big deal. Note that the silly thing with the whole issue isn't mainly how Rook voted for RSA, it's also about how half of the audience as well voted for RSA which makes it sound almost stupid, this point will be explained in part (5)!

3) Have you all really forgotten what Rook is like?

I mean, come on this is what he is in general! This is Rook Hunt we're speaking of, one of the rarely known characters of the game and mister of surprises and unpredictable decisions!

Him being a Neige fan is no big deal, and I assure you, he probably stans a lot of other people else than Neige too. Don't forget that this is the same monseiur Rook who gave 100 points! to anyone who participated in NRC's VDC test, so there shouldn't really be a panic taking all over the fandom just because we know he stans Neige, Rook is one to greatly appreciate the concept of beauty in general, and Neige is one of the most famous and beautiful people in the whole twisted wonderland, so other than this being much of a snow white reference, it was totally expected to see him stanning Neige as well. Keep this in mind that just because he's a fan of Neige, it doesn't mean that he hates or he has betrayed Vil.

In Rook's point of view, there is no such thing as rivals in beauty, he just appreciates both Vil and Neige's beauty regardless of what's going on between them.

4) This chapter proved that Rook is indeed a perfect friend for Vil.

While there hasn't ever been a mention of a canon relationship between Vil and Rook, shipper may be happy to know that this episode didn't sink the ship at all. And if you judge and see through what happened in the right eye, you'll see it even shows how strong their friendship is.

Note that this wasn't the first time Rook criticizes Vil either, back in Vil's SR lab coat story he openly criticized Vil and said he's gonna get fat if he continued to eat like this. See? Rook never the once lied to Vil, he openly judges him, and his judgements are logical and on point.

Vil on the other hand is always working his hardest to improve, to become better and completer by each and every day that passes. He needs such a friend by his side to judge him nonetheless, a friend to judge him just like the mirror judged the Queen. But there's a difference, Vil accepts and appreciates criticism BECAUSE, he wants to improve.

A friend like Rook is seriously what he needs, Rook supported and helped him all the way as RSA was getting prepared for VDC, he could've just made them lose and by ruining their training sessions if he wanted to! Can't you see? He helped Vil more than anyone else, but didn't lie to him when it was the time to judge. Vil still has a long way to go, and Rook is aware. He wants Vil to see that he isn't yet complete so that he can become better than he already is.

That's it, that's what a real friend would do.

5) Twst needs to be more considerative toward story line and sudden reveals.

On the one hand, it's mainly fans who are exaggerating the whole issue and starting drama over a simple voting and all, but twst itself as well is partly guilty. This is such a huge and active fandom, each and every detail about the story can be super effective (ex: Sebek being half human, Malleus being an orphan, etc). After making RSA's Yahoo performance look super silly they worst thing they could do was to make NRC lose like this, meaningless, silly and helpless. Why?

Twst seriously needs to take details more seriously as they could've AT LEAST made this comparison sound reasonable by choosing a better and stronger song than a twisted version of Heigh-Ho.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with Rook voting for Neige, but seriously? Rook voting for Neige had to be a symbol of honesty and Rook's loyalty toward the concept of beauty itself and not Vil, not an stupid decision to make Rook prefer a childish song over NRC's wonderful performance and look like a helpless Neige fan boy.

-Sigh- Well, I guess that's all I had for now, hope I didn't miss anything. But anyway, the Rook drama is slowly getting overwhelming. There's nothing wrong with memes and jokes AS LONG AS THEY'RE JUST A JOKE- offending characters with clear intention and causing drama because of it is not okay. I know that was unexpected please remember not to exaggerate the story too much either!

[mu-saic]

//Reflection

One of my favorite albums (in the ever) is mono. by RM. 

I recently learned that RM, the pseudonym of Korean musician Kim Namjoon of BTS, sounds like aleum (아름) a Korean word for beauty. I’ve always thought that he has a beautiful way of writing about life, about making the mundane seem special. 

I consider this album (or, a, I’m pretty sure he refers to it as such, playlist) a forever friend. Do you also have an album that you think of as a best friend album? An album you can listen to when you’re happy, when you’re sad, when you’re everything, when you’re nothing? One that you’re convinced will always be your favorite? This is mine! It’s a friend for every situation, but especially for when I am especially in need of comfort that isn’t from myself. 

It takes me exactly one mono.-listen to walk to my favorite spot on the river, I like to sit there for another mono.-listen, and then walk back home. It takes three mono.s for what I think is is sufficient self-not-reflection but more like for remembering that I’m a person... self-actualization? It’s a good unit of measurement for the things I like to do (three mono.s is around an hour and 15 minutes)! And about 6/7 of a mono. to walk to the duck pond I live near... 18/7 for the total..

A lot of the songs that RM makes as a solo act feel like they’re putting my loneliness into words, in turn making me feel less lonely. An Oh. I’m not alone in feeling what I feel. 

Right now, I’m overwhelmed with the lyrics in Life, a song off of his first project, which is self-titled. Why would there be no antonym of loneliness? Perhaps it’s because we never have a moment of no-loneliness until we die (translated from the Korean lyrics 외로움의 반대말은 왜 없을까 / 사람은 죽을 때까지 안 외로울 때가 없어서일지 몰라 via https://doolsetbangtan.wordpress.com/2018/06/28/life/). My mind always go to this lyric when writing and thinking about my loneliness and my ever-present desire for companionship. 

His song Reflection I think perfectly reflects the utility of his music in my life. It’s about the thoughts he has while at a park that he visits when he is overwhelmed or sad or both. Although I will genuinely listen to his music whenever, like as in to the what would you bring with you on a deserted island question I would bring mono. .... his music is perfect for these moments when I need to force myself to confront my thoughts. Journalling music! 

슬며시 다가와서 나의 손을 잡는 fear and the fear that gently approaches me and holds my hand

세상은 절망의 또 다른 이름 [ireum] The world is another name for despair

나의 키는 지구의 또 다른 지름 [jireum] My height is another diameter of Earth

나는 나의 모든 기쁨이자 시름 [sireum] I’m my whole happiness and my worries

매일 반복돼 날 향한 좋고 싫음 [sireum] They repeat every day, the likes and dislikes directed at myself *The above four lines end-rhyme (-reum).

(the above five lines copied from https://doolsetbangtan.wordpress.com/2018/06/16/reflection/)

I’m always struck by the rawness of his lyrics... like this fear that he writes about... what he writes gently approaches me and holds my hand! And my heart. And my soul. And my everything.... thank you....

There are many, many, many RM lyrics that I carry in my heart! And I could go on and on...

The song that I think is my favorite of his (at least, off of mono.) is called uhgood. The title in Korean is 어긋 (pronounced as uh-geut) which means: “(1) fall short of expectations and (2) miss each other (by taking different routes)” (quoted from https://doolsetbangtan.wordpress.com/2018/10/25/uhgood/). It’s really interesting that there is this contrast between the English title and the Korean title; uhgood is “good” yet uhgeut seems to be “bad.” 

Equal parts dreamlike (sound) and real (lyric), this song is so beautiful. To me, it is about the pains of self-discovery; My ideal and reality, they are too far apart. But, I still want to cross the bridge and reach me. The real me, the real me (translated from the Korean lyrics 내 이상과 현실 / 너무 멀고 먼 / 그래도 다리 건너 / 내게 닿고 싶어 / 진짜 내게 (yeah, yeah) / 진짜 내게 (yeah) via https://doolsetbangtan.wordpress.com/2018/10/25/uhgood/). 

*A note that there is sooo much that a simple translation like this can not capture. There are often translator’s notes that come with the lyrics. Such as, at the bottom of the lyrics quoted above, the translator mentions that due to “I” and “you” sounding similar in the Korean language, one could hear the above lyrics as being second-person instead of first-person. Again, the relatability! This is part of why this song touches my heart so much. 

A lot of his songs talk about self-hatred, like Reflection, which repeats the phrase “I wish I could love myself,” thus I am drawn towards his sentiments of hope. 

I can’t let go of me who I know as myself, because you, in my head, are so whole like this, because you are so perfect (translated from the Korean lyrics 내가 아는 나를 난 놓아줄 수가 없어 / 내 머릿속의 넌 이렇게 온전한데 / 완전한데 via https://doolsetbangtan.wordpress.com/2018/10/25/uhgood/, the translator notes that the “you” used here is the ideal “me” that RM is referencing).

All of my favorite RM lyrics (there’s more ... like the whole song of Trivia: Love and forever rain) are so touching and meaningful to me in that they seem to capture a picture of my heart, and feel like a warm hand on my back. 

[tiesandtea]

Simon Gilbert

Simon Says

We interviewed Simon Gilbert, Suede’s drummer, whose book So Young: Suede 1991-1993 is a journal and photographic document of the band’s early years that will be published October 8th. So Young has foreword by journalist Stuart Maconie and a vibrant, lively text by Simon himself, documenting his move from Stratford-on-Avon, his hometown, to London, the audition with Suede, life in the van, the early success years and the many amusing things that come with it. It is one of those rare books that make an outsider feel like they were there, in the van. Or in absurd mansions in L.A. belonging to industry types. Or was it record producer(s)?…

The conversation extended to Coming Up, Suede’s third album that turned 25 this year and drumming. Simon’s witty, often, one-liners contrast with my more elaborate questions, proving an interesting insight into our way of writing/replying.

by Raquel Pinheiro

So Young: Suede 1991-1993

What made you want to realease So Young?

I was searching through my archives when researching for the insatiable ones movies and found lots of old negatives and my diaries. They had to be seen.

When and why did you start your Suede archives?

As you can see from the book, it stared from the very first audition day.

From the concept idea to publishing how long did it took you to put So Young together?

30 years … I’ve always wanted to make a book since I was first in a band.

What was your selection process for which items – diary entries, photos, etc.- would be part of the book?

I wanted to form a story visually with a few bits of info thrown in here and there, also most of the photos tie in with pages from the diaries.

Which methods, storage, preservation, maintenance, if at all, do you employ to keep the various materials in your archives in good shape?

Boxes in an attic … one thing about getting the book out is that I don’t have to worry about the photos getting lost forever. It’s out there in a book!

Other than medium what differences existed between selecting material for The Insatiable Ones documentary and for So Young?

Video and photos … photos don’t translate well on a TV screen.

Do you prefer still or motion pictures and why?

I prefer photos … they capture a particular moment in time … as video does, but there’s a unique atmosphere with a photo.

So Young’s cover photo has a very Caravaggio and ballet feeling to it. Its chiaroscuro also contrasts with the images inside.  Why did you choose it for the cover?

It was a striking shot and I wanted the book to be black and dark …it fitted perfectly.

How many of the photos on So Young were taken by you?

Probably about 3/4 my 3 school friends who were there with me at the beginning Iain, Kathy and Phillip took a load of us onstage, backstage, after  the gig, etc., photos I couldn’t take myself.

So Young can be placed alongside books like Henry Rollins’ Get in The Van and Michael Azerrad’s Our Band Could Be Your Life, that not only chronicle and show the less glamorous, more mundane side of being in a band, but also totally immerse the reader so deep in it that we are there, feeling and going through the same things. Was your selection of materials meant to convey that “band being your(our) life” sensation?

Yes, exactly that. I was fascinated by photos of bands, not on the front cover of a magazine or on TV. The other bits of being in a band are far more interesting.

In the foreword, Stuart Maconie mentions the brevity of your diary entries which, as someone who keeps diaries, I immediately noticed. Do you prefer to tell and record a story and events with images?

I haven’t kept a diary since the end of 1993 … looking back on them they can be a bit cringeful … So, yes, I prefer images.

Contrasting with the diary entries brevity your text  that accompanies So Young is lively, witty, detailed and a good description of the struggles of a coming of age, heading towards success, band. Do you think the text and images reveal too much into what it really is like being in a band, destroying the myth a bit?

I think the myth of being in a band is long gone … Reality is the new myth…

In So Young you write that when you first heard Never Mind The Bollocks by The Sex Pistols music was to be your “future dream”. How has the dream been so far?

Still dreaming … lose your dreams and you will lose your mind … like Jagger said.

Is there a reason why So Young only runs from 1991 to 1993?

Yes, I bought a video camera in 1993. It was so much easier filming everything rather than take a photo, wait 3 weeks to get it developed and find out it was blurred.

So Young has a limited deluxe numbered and signed edition already sold out. The non deluxe edition also seems to be heading the same way. How important is it for you to keep a close relationship with the fans?

So important. I love interacting with the fans and is so easy these days … I had to write replies by hand and post them out in 1993…

Playing Live Again & Coming Up

Before Suede’s concert at Qstock Festival in Oulu, Finland on 31.07.2021 you wrote on your social media “cant fucking wait dosnt come close!!!!!” and Mat [Osman, Suede’s bassist] on his “An honest-to-goodness rehearsal for an honest-to-goodness show. Finally”. How did it feel like going back to play live?

It was great. Heathrow was empty which was amazing. A bit strange to play for the first time after 2 years …., but great to get out again.

Coming Up was released 25 years ago. How does the record sound and seems to you now compared with by then?

I haven’t listened to it for a long time actually … love playing that album live … some great drumming.

Before the release of Coming Up fans and the press were wondering if Suede would be able to pull it off. What was your reaction when you first heard the new songs and realize the album was going in quite a different direction than Dog Man Star?

Far too long ago to remember.

Coming Up become a classic album. It even has its own Classical Albums documentary. Could you see the album becoming a classic by then?

I think so yes .. there was always something to me very special about that album.

Is it different to play Coming Up songs after Suede’s return? Is there a special approach to concerts in which a single album is played?

No … didn’t even need to listen to the songs before we first rehearsed … They’re lodged in my brain.

Which is your Coming Up era favourite song as a listener and which one do you prefer as a drummer?

The Chemistry Between Us.

Will the Coming Up shows consist only of the album or will B-sides be played as well?

Definitely some B-sides and some other stuff too.

Simon & Drumming

If you weren’t a drummer how would your version of “being the bloke singing at the front” be like?

Damned awful … I auditioned as a singer once, before I started drumming … It was awful!

In his book Stephen Morris says that all it takes to be a drummer is a flat surface and know how to count. Do you agree?

No.

Then, what makes a good drummer?

Being in the right band.

Topper Headon of the Clash is one of your role models. Who are the others?

He is, yes … fantastic drummer.

Charlie Watts is the other great …and Rat Scabies … superb.

She opens with drums so does Introducing the band. Your drumming gives the band a distinctive sound. How integral to Suede’s sound are the drums?

Well, what can I say … VERY!

Do you prefer songs that are driven by the drums or songs in which the drums are more in the background?

Bit of both actually … I love in your face stuff like She, Filmstar …, but ikewise, playing softer stuff is very satisfying too.

You’re not a songwriter. How much freedom and input do you have regarding drum parts?

If the songs needs it, I’ll change it.

Do you prefer blankets, towels or a pillow inside the bass drum?

Pillows.

Do you use gaffer tape when recording? If so, just on the snare drum or also on the toms? What about live?

Lots of the stuff … gaffer tape has been my friend both live and in the studio for 30 years.

What is the depth of your standard snare drum and why?

Just got a lovely 7-inch Bog wood snare from Repercussion Drums … sounds amazing. It is a 5000 year old Bog wood snare.

Standard, mallets, rods or brushes?

Standard. I hate mallets and rods are always breaking after one song. Brushes are the worst …no control.

How many drum kits have you owned? Of those, which is your favourite?

5 … my fave is my DW purple.

How long to you manage without playing? Do you play air drums?

7 years 2003 – 2010 … and never.

Can you still assemble and tune your drum kit?

Assemble, yes …tune no …have never been any good at that.

You dislike digital/electronic drum kits, but used one during the pandemic. Did you become more found of them?

Still hate them … unfortunately,  they are a necessary evil.

When you first joined Suede you replaced a drum machine. Would it be fair to say you didn’t mind taking its job?

Fuck him!

Brett [Anderson, Suede’s singer] as described the new album as “nasty, brutish and short”. How does that translates drums wise?

Very nasty brutish and short.

When researching for the interview I come across the statement below on a forum: “If you’re in a band and you’re thinking about how to go about this, get every player to come up with their own track list & have a listening party. I’ve done this, not only is it great fun, it’s also massively insightful when it comes to finding out what actually is going on inside the drummer’s head!”. What actually is going on inside the drummer’s head?

Where’s my fucking lighter!

And what is going on inside the drummer as a documentarist head? How does Simon, the drummer, differs from Simon, the keen observer of his own band, bandmates, fans, himself, etc.?

There is no difference … I’m Simon here there and everywhere…

What would the 16 years old Simon who come to London think of current Simon? What advice would you give to your younger self?

Don’t smoke so much you fool!

[rocknrollarticles]

Chris Simmonds interviews Jon Lord for Beat International Magazine, December 1975

(article transcription continues below the cut)

Lord of The Deep

“I don’t think rock could exist and roll exist without solos — it’s a vital form of musical expression.”

Jon Lord of Deep Purple is undoubtedly a rarity. He combines the most pleasing qualities, rarely found among others enjoying a similar position on the Rock and Roll roundabout. We have man who has been making successful records for over seven years, and who remains both verbally and musically articulate with out ever resorting to the more flamboyant pretensions exhibited by so many of his contemporaries. He is a star, to be sure, but never to the point of camouflaging the musician.

With the reformed Purple off to the States until Christmas, we were delighted when Jon agreed to meet us at the airport before take-off to talk about Purple, new and old, and in general his particular role as keyboard player. The time was apt as we had just heard enough of the tapes of the band’s new album (Come Taste The Band) to suggest that it would totally eclipse the rather disappointing Stormbringer.

Jon, notorious for his late plane catching, arrived early this time, and cast his mind back to the days of Deep Purple Mark 1. The In Rock album was certainly the first major step towards worldwide acceptance, and we asked how this style change had been linked with the departure of original members Rod Evans and Nicky Simper, vocals and bass. 

Concise

“Christ, that far back. My memory isn’t all that good. Basically, it was that three people in the band wanted two to leave, and In Rock shows exactly what we wanted to get into. In fact, we had already been playing the In Rock style on stage, but we had never done it on an album. With lan Gillan and Roger Glover in the band, we had two rock and rollers, much more so than the others.

“It might just have been the climate of the times, but we did feel that the previous albums had rambled a bit. This attitude almost went against us, because we were so concise with In Rock that it became very hard to follow. This move was in fact largely motivated by Ritchie, and the general agreement by the majority of the band was that this was what we should do.

“I went down at the time as saying that I totally agreed with the policy but thought it should have been little more relaxed, and as a result of that Ritchie and I had a few arguments. These resolved themselves and resulted in Machine Head which, apart from the new one, was to my mind our best album.

If there were the odd moments of apathy from Ritchie, I certainly never shared them, apart from Who Do We Think Are which I disliked intensely. It was done in a mood of total fed-upness. lan left shortly afterwards, because by then he and Ritchie were having head-on collisions, so that probably caused the bad moods of that time.

Freedom

“However, most of the albums were a great joy to make. Although Fireball got slagged a bit, you must remember that it followed a smash success album, and that’s always difficult. It still gave me great satisfaction.” During this period a very prominent feature of the Purple music was a never ending rash of frantic solos. How far did Jon feel that they were an integral part of the songs?

“So long as it fits the song, I’m delighted to have them. We have reached the point now that even when I am playing the part of a backing musician I have much greater freedom. The song structure with Glenn (Hughes) and Tommy (Bolin) isn’t set any more. We are trying to loosen the whole thing up, and cut out the ‘this happens in that bar and that happens there’ attitude.

“The days of the really long solos have gone, and I am talking about the twenty five minute jobs. Everyone will still have their solo slot, because basically that is what Deep Purple is all about. We have always prided ourselves on our individual abilities, and we like to show it. Quite frankly, we sometimes went much too far in the past, and some of the others’ solos bored me.”

Given Jon’s feelings about solos, did he have any special preference about playing the more direct songs like Speed King and Highway Star or the more protracted tracks like The Mule?

“I’m quite happy with either role, so long as I am happy with the song in the first place. I don’t mind sitting back behind the guitar because that is just as creative as leading the song. Actually, that’s a tricky question, because the Hammond doesn’t really sit all that well in rock and roll as a backing instrument. It took me a long time and a lot of hard work to find an acceptable way of incorporating the instrument… Where was I? Oh yes, at the same time I have to solo — every musician does.

I don’t think rock and roll could exist without solos — it’s a vital form of musical expression. It’s a way of stretching out, but of course how much you do so is up to you, or the band. A musician should solo as long as he feels he is feeding off the audience, but I feel that it is unforgivable to bore an audience.”

Possibilities

With the new members, what possibilities did Jon see as far as his own instrument was concerned? “I really see many. Ritchie was a very demanding player in that he really enjoyed the limelight. I mean, we all did obviously, but I suppose he was so extrovert on stage to balance the introvert he was offstage. It’s hard to speak objectively as he was my friend for seven years. One of the nice things about having an American in the band is the more quote laid back unquote atmosphere. I enjoyed Tommy’s solo album.” And Ritchie’s album?

“There was certainly a Purple sound, but thought it was second rate Purple, and you can print that. I was surprised to say the least, because he said he wanted to go right back to the raw roots he felt we were abandoning. At the same time I suspect that his next album will be a bitch.”

Apathy

On the subject of these recent albums, Jon went on to compare Stormbringer and Come Taste The Band. “I liked the Stormbringer album. It was certainly a little different. There was a certain apathy on Ritchie’s part — he was already thinking of leaving — and perhaps it shows. We should have attacked it more as Deep Purple rather than approaching it in that dispirited way. I’m really not trying to make Ritchie a whipping boy — I really don’t want to — but you mentioned the word apathy and I think I would have to go along with that. But if the album didn’t quite come off, it didn’t sell as well as the others had, so there’s justice there.”

Jon is well known for his classical inclinations, and we wondered if they might reemerge more strongly within the new band framework?

“I’m really two musicians, and they meet somewhere in the middle. The outer edges can never get together, and that’s why I make solo albums, just to get things out of my head and out of my system. Look — I’m not carrying a cross for classical music — I’m a rock and roller and I have been for ten years. There just happens to be more, that’s all.”

What did he feel that the future held for the keyboard? “I think now that it has arrived with a vengeance, it will stay. Keyboard players are having to get more versatile in respect of the number of instruments they are having to play. The organ sound as just an organ sound is already overused, and I personally use synthesizers, a clavinet and a Fender Rhodes besides the Hammond.

Technique

“I have countered this dilemma of 'old hat’ sound by having my set up built specially for me. I have four Leslies which have been totally ripped out and replaced with better components, Crown amps, and all the keyboards, about six, go through the Leslies. The organ has also been messed around with, so it’s not a straight Hammond sound — it’s a particular sound that I feel fits our kind of music.”

Jon was also glad to offer tips to the embryonic keyboard wizard. “Well, even though it’s 'just’ rock and roll, I think it’s invaluable to acquire a technique of some sort. By all means absorb from other people, and try find out how they do it, but then you mus try to branch off and perfect your own style. Things like scales and arpeggios, although very boring, are bloody well worth while. If you are soloing, and your fingers won’t do what is in your head, it’s the most frustrating thing in the world. I have never regretted the hours and hours of practising that I have put in. I try to listen as much as I can to what else is going on in the rock world — I think it is important to be aware of what your peers are doing.

Relaxation

“I was talking to lan Gillan the other night on just this subject, and he said he never used to listen to anyone but Deep Purple and Elvis Presley. He admitted that he was totally wrong. He said that since he had been off the road he had been listening to everything that he could, and he realised how much he had missed. You don’t listen to others to copy — just to judge the feel of the business. Anyway, it’s a relaxation to me.”

The hidden speakers in the roof of the lounge was announcing the departure of the Purple flight. “I feel as if I could go on for another twenty years,” said Jon jumping up. “Thanks a lot for talking to me.”

[fmdsooaharchive]

similarly to what i said on jiah’s post, i will be posting every meme response in this post because i would like to spare you all from my spamming. let me know if you need more numbers. there are mentions of other fuse members.

“As a group, I loved when we released Russian Roulette. It’s a song that not many people remember if compared to our newest songs, but I truly liked that song. And as for the songs I released by myself, even though I don’t have that many out, I like I’m Your Girl a lot. Mainly because it was the first song that I’ve managed to release out of Fuse, and that made me very happy.”

“Fuse has many good side-tracks. If I were to choose my favorite though, I would go with Kingdom Come, no doubt. It still is one of Fuse’s best songs, in my opinion, and the way it sounds it’s just amazing. I think that the members’ voices fitted the aesthetic of it so well, Suji unnie and Kiana unnie and Minjung unnie did an amazing job.”

“I don’t like performing Rookie much. It’s just hard to sing and dance to it at the same time since it has a very fast and complicated choreography. It has a very catch chorus and I had it stuck in my head for months, too. Maybe, with all of that accumulating, my dislike for it may have become clearer.”

“There are many people I would love to work with, but I don’t think our styles and voices would fit all that well. If I could make it work though, I think I would like to do a duet with Jeonghwa or Alice from Lucid. Or Yujin from Element. I’ve worked with some of them in past projects, and the synergy is good, and I think we could come up with something interesting to fans.”

“I love Fuse’s concept! It’s funny that I like exactly the thing that we’re criticized for that is the change of concepts and inconsistency as some would put, in our sound. I think that because Fuse is so versatile and always changing the style of the songs that we put out, makes it more fun, at least to me. Every comeback is a little surprise.”

“It would be very unfortunate if Gold Star changed the direction they had for Fuse and started making us release sexier songs in BEE’s style or Gal.actic’s. I don’t think I would be comfortable making that type of music and selling it the way the companies do. I don't think it fits my image either, and fans would be left disappointed by the sudden and extreme shift. Fuse is very versatile, but I don't think that kind of concept would sit very well."

“It feels a little unfair to bring this up because it’s Fuse’s first time going this long without talks of a future comeback. Fuse’s last comeback was last August, so it has been six months since our last album release, and there are no talks at this moment that I know of, of a possible comeback. Maybe because I started in the group at such a young age, I got used to it and the constant schedules, so I miss that a little. I wish we could have a better understanding of what’s to come.”

“WISH releases very good songs, as well as Femme Fatale, so I would love to perform their songs as well. Their styles please me a lot, and I think I could fit in with their image if given the chance. WISH’s more girlish style and Femme Fatale’s girl-crush agree on a lot with the type of songs I like listening to. Maybe in the future I can have the chance to do a cover of their songs at least.”

“That’s a tough question. Compared to our CEO, I’m not even as experienced as he is, and I don’t think that I’m qualified enough to say anything to him. Can I ask him a question instead? Why did they recruit me in the first place when I had no skills, and why did they make me debut when I was lacking if compared to the other trainees? It’s something that always bugged me, and maybe our CEO has the answers I’m looking for.”

“I was extremely unprepared for my audition on the day that it happened. I had nothing prepared, and I just used one of the songs I have learned in my music class. Now, I would like to be more prepared and show a little more seriousness in my intention to become a trainee. I treated that opportunity as if it was nothing back in the day and was sort of forced into it by my friend and the judges who were working at the auditions. I would work on a nice acoustic song to present to them if my audition happened now.”

“Because I’m the youngest in my team, we could gather all the maknaes of all groups, or only from girl groups, and performed a song, everyone together. We could go back to first-generation songs or maybe a song that is originally from a soloist and make a special performance out of it. I think it would be cool to see all of us together and collaborating since we don’t have that opportunity as often. It would be interesting to see our different styles of work merging.”

“Recently, I’ve appeared in a few varieties shows, and I enjoy doing them quite a lot. If I’m honest, I would love to have the chance of appearing in more of those and make FUSE and myself known a little bit more through my appearances on TV. Quite ambitious, I know, and a little bit out of my league since most people expect me to branch out to modeling, but as of right now, I’m very interested in that. It's a good chance for me to get out of my comfort zone and work on things that I usually wouldn't do, too, so there are only positives.”

“It sounds silly, but I would love being the ambassador for a food brand. Any food brand and any product. I’m the ambassador for Ghana Chocolate, and that alone was already very fun, and I love chocolate as well, so if in the future I can work with a brand like that, I would be really satisfied. Maybe for Banana Milk, or yogurt. Oh! Or fried chicken!”

“Amazing Saturday. That is a show that I like watching, and Hyeju sunbaenim was part of the cast for a little while, and I think that show is just very entertaining and fun. Running Man is also a show that I still want to appear on, too, because it has been airing for so long, and even though I’m not the most athletic person, I would still think it’s a good show to make an appearance. Maybe in the future.”

“Oh, absolutely not. I’m not qualified for a job like that, and I wouldn’t want to take that much responsibility under my arms. I think it’s easy for us to complain, but giving the shots and making the decisions is way harder than most of us can even comprehend. So, no, if I was offered that position, I would have to decline.”

“I was given no choice in the matter, and I had to become the CEO of my company, I would like to give my artists more creative space and support. I have quite a bit of that now. I’ve released songs that I wrote and produced for other artists as well, but it’s something that I only started doing recently. Even though composing and writing were things I wanted to do a while ago, I wasn’t given the opportunity and I'd like to offer that support.”

“I talk to my family to relieve stress. I have two older brothers, and they are very supportive of me, and they listen to me if they notice something is amiss. They just have this way of making me feel better by either being very understanding or annoying until I forget what I was stressed about. They make me watch or play scary games too. They say that screaming relieves the stress, but I have the impression my middle brother is just messing with me.”

“Be proud of yourself. Even if you think you’re lacking, you worked very hard to get to where you are right now. You have a lot of room for improvement, and debuting is not supposed to be your stagnation point. Just keep in mind that you don’t have to be excellent or at your best. You can give little steps to reach other goals.”

“Thinking that I wasn’t enough compared to the other trainees. I was indeed lacking if compared to them, but I used to think that I would never be as good as them and wouldn’t get any improvement because I would always be behind them. There were a lot of self-doubts, and I didn’t think I was enough. That might be the hardest part of being a trainee.”

“As a debuted idol. I learned a lot after my debut, and I started trusting and believing in myself more, too. I can work with members who give me a lot of support, and I truly enjoy the schedules we have, either when we’re together or when we got separated in our solo schedules. I feel like I have a lot more freedom too, which gives me the chance to get to know more people and make more friends in the industry.”

“Very tough choice to make, but I would love to release anything by Lucid. Lucid is one of my favorite groups, and I love their discography, especially their darker, more rock-based songs. Chase Me is the first one that comes to mind right now, so maybe I could release their debut album Nightmare. I think that would be super fun.”

“Minjung unnie is the first one that comes to mind when we talk about a possible sub-unit. I’m close to her, and we worked together before too in her solo songs, so I know we’re a good match, and we could have great synergy if that ever happened. Minjung unnie is a great singer so we could have a duet and I can rap for her. About the concept, maybe something more different from what we usually release with Fuse would be interesting.”

“We have exceptional songwriters and composers in our group. Suji unnie and Minjung unnie are here to prove that. They do an amazing job at that, so if I could, I would want to work on the production side of things. Again, I’ve done this before, and I like doing it as well. Just like writing and composing, I think that producing also leaves a bit of your touch in the song so I would love that.”

“Dimensions has two of my favorite groups, Lucid and 7rophy, so I would like to be signed under them and see how this thing would go. I know that Dimensions is rising in popularity these days as well, which is great for them. I also like how they make groups so distinguishable from each other, so that might be interesting. There's also the fact that I know quite a few artists from Dimensions, so I think I wouldn't feel left out.”

“The lack of time that we have to do other things that aren’t schedule related. I’m not very active but even doing simple things like go shopping is a shore that we can’t do that often or at least properly. The lack of privacy is also something that bothers me a bit. I can’t get around without people taking pictures and things like that, and I’m not always at my best.”

“I love that we get to experience this. I love that I can travel around the world to perform in front of people and hear them singing back, which might as well be one of my favorite things in the world. I love that because of this I met amazing people who became my friends. And also, I can make a living of a thing that makes me immensely happy.”

“Being less popular has its perks as well, so I would like to be fairly unknown, but have a good reputation. I don’t want to be the kind of idol who has a bad reputation, only to have the attention of the public. Any publicity is good publicity isn’t a motto that I want for myself or my career. And by being less popular, maybe I would want to work extra hard to make things work out, so my motivation would be different?”

“I think that every time we have a concert, I feel the proudest. It’s my favorite moment of being a singer, to be honest. We practice for so long, and we work very hard to give our best performances when the day comes. After we finish it, I feel slightly sad and empty that it’s already over, but I always think we look at our best when we perform on stage.”

“I learned that I’m more capable than I could ever imagine, and I shouldn’t limit myself because I have the capacity of learning and doing things nicely. I learned that society can be cruel as well if you don’t reach their expectations which just makes me sad, too. Even when the person they criticize is young, they don’t seem to have empathy enough to not be maliciously mean. They are brave, at least online.”

“I would like if they realized that we’re just humans the same as them. We’re not superheroes who can do everything, and despite being taught how to do most things because our companies want to sell that image of their idols, we are capable of just as much as anyone else. Don’t be judgmental as well? Or jealous? It’s not good for netizens who like being bitter about some people debuting.”

thank you to @jihoonfmd, @suweixfmd, @fmdkiana, @fmdinyeong, @fmdyiyeon, @fmdminjung and @jihanfmd for sending me some numbers!

[nobody-knose--archive]

well, today i figured i didn’t have anything better to do & liveblogged the pingry ep. it’s probably a better stepping stone further into the tally void than incomplete demos, coming right off of complete demos, at least.

-from what i know this one basically includes all the mmmm songs that weren't on complete demos (andrew singing ones wahoo) & the expected demos that didn't end up anywhere else + just a friend. i also believe this one was recorded similarly to complete demos so i really have no clue what to expect for taken for a ride's vocals. anyway here i go

-the bidding sounds impressively professional to start things off, but i suppose humming isn't a terribly complex technique anyway. the intro feels a little longer th

-whoah there if that aint a marked difference in audio quality here we go

-guitars also sound different & i don't remember if this album has steve or ross on it i now realize

-goodness the mixing is wonky for rob's segment. the backing vocals do not need to bounce between channels

-why do they have kinda weird voices for the chorus. sounds like they're trying an accent or something. i can barely recognize who's singing

-the keyboard backing in zubin's segment sounds the same as usual, as in, it sounds so stupidly similar to the questions answered backing music that i'm offended i couldn't pick up they're the same for so long

-less echo on disappear actually. at least they still had the brass section

-still a weird sound on the chorus but maybe i can chalk that up to different mixing & more red

-outro sounds not super different. still very good drumming on display which will give me the push i need to decide it's ross drumming

-however i don't hear him shouting out the auctioneer stuff, and given that it was presented as a video during the mmmm recording, i might assume it was done specially for the mmmm releases, so maybe he didn't drum for this album after all

-it does have a greater similarity to the live performances even if the keyboarding is using a different synth

-well now. that's a real piano

-and as any piano will be when played that low, it's out of tune. very

-and everyone's singing? i can't hear andy in the slightest. this is interesting

-i mean i can certainly hear him doing plenty on the piano. but. it's interesting

-i suppose given the ep's hallmanac description, as a compilation of acoustic/one-take recordings i shouldn't be surprised taken for a ride is this different. but boy is it jarring. sounds incredibly different without the heavy synthesizing and complementary instruments

-barebones certainly. not much more of a way to describe it. that's what i expected just not in this way. i like the sound of this bridge though

-do very much wish i could hear andrew's actual voice. even at acoustic live performances he would sing at the very least. then again, that was years later i suppose.

-and it's only now at the final chorus that i realize, somehow, this is a piano-only song. no guitar, no drums even. that's really interesting. even the album version had some drums & bass

-red's singing isn't as impressive here. not as many high notes. understandable. bitch

-different rhythm on the quick part! bet steve feels lucky he didn't have to drum this part although i am hearing some sort of. pants-slapping? now that would be a sight to behold irl

-and that's the end

-goodness. be born. considering how this song was always & every time performed acoustic live i really expect to hear nothing here i haven't from concert recordings

-we're missing whatever the hell that skittery little shaker is called. alas i am not a percussionist & do not know the name of every auxilliary instrument ever

-rippin it up on the melodica bay be. a suitable replacement for whistling considering that never was all that good live. nobody can compare to bora karaca at whistling

-there's extra bass harmonies on display here. swell

-also no percussion i'm realizing

-da-da-da!

-but yeah normally ross uses brushes on a box/seat drum (also don't know what that's called!) for some good gentle percussion & it's not here. really hoping this won't be a trend because i'm fond of drumming even if it's from stebev himself

-bah (chorus) bah

-wait a minute that's not a bah! that's a doo! big difference! what are you doing rob

-i can tell it's one-take because rob has to take a breath in the middle of that final long bah there

-ooh dropping off the guitar there real quick are you? and not even doing the full outro too. good way to spice things up at the end.

-honestly maybe the reason i & so many other th fans dislike be born so much isn't even the country sound and weird subject matter, it's the fact that this song lacks a whole lot of the variability that might separate it from other music. in the album versions there are violins/fiddles, and the live versions... don't have that. maybe some halfway decent whistling at best. it just is what it is. especially compared to the rest of mmmm- g&e could often be more faithfully recreated on stage, but mmmm got to mix things up most of the time, except for be born. food for thought

-anyway. of all the songs i would expect to be absolutely completely identical (other than be born) the whole world and you definitely takes the cake. a delightful song. i should listen to it more.

-but yeah it was a toy orchestra piece long before a tally hall piece, and toy orchestra was & is nothing but silly little live performances. how on earth could they make this one completely different

-other than. the "punk rehearsal" i've heard of from incomplete demos. that's just. a thing i think

-oh hold on i didn't even listen to the end of be born there was a tiny outro with chat at the end oh that's adorable

-hey i can hear andrew's voice! nice!

-starting off with a full ensemble vocals, all sorts of harmonies in action, and a normal piano instead of a toy piano, so already i'm being proven decently wrong on this song's inability to be greatly altered

-other than that. i kinda like how it sounds as if they're stumbling over their words at points

-boy has andrew's voice changed hasn't it. i know i haven't listened to the solo albums so i'm not exactly one to speak but he really developed his singing a lot over time

-clapping live & not in a studio sure sounds a lot worse, especially when it's like 4 people max doing it and not a whole crowd

-zubin (i'm pretty sure) flexing on us all at the end there. good for him

-ayyyyyyy

-it's the song that's sure to invoke an emotional response out of me >:}

-it's also the song i was convinced had andrew vocals in the background (the badadum's between verses) for a good while. still not 100% certain it's rob instead but it's not like i can ask them themselves

-yeah i'll admit it right here this is the song i listen to when i'm going through emotional turmoil. not this version of the song, and no, i don't mean i listen to i'm gonna win or even the tally hall rock version of this one. i mean i listen to the cover of it from we think we're playing in a band. and that's enough on this subject!

-however given the above information yeah i am pretty familiar with this song already. not a new experience right here

-i greatly appreciate the heavy piano work. it's one of my favorite parts about the song

-oh and i should stop talking about that subject right there as well. actually i think i should just say nothing about this song in general. you'll see why in about uhh pauses video

-this friday or so? damn that's sooner than i thought lucky me

-everything will be fine! i'll be making it through!

-oh hello there. "ALBUM" is not a word beamed directly into my brain with great volume thank you very much

-so. it's the outro to good day done with weird haste. looping. no actual chord pro-

-this is. is this some sort of radio performance? what the hell is going on

-steven!!! hello there thanks for the confirmation & god is it surreal to hear his name truly uttered in the context of red rob zubin andrew. wow

-pingry school spring fling. how the hell have i never heard about whatever the hell this track is before

-wait- is it over? song listed as good day but it's in fact the outro to good day done on. a radio program maybe. and now it's a really strange sounding performance of yearbook

-i genuinely can't tell if there's a filter on rob's voice or if the micro- shit that's loud

-what in the hell is going on is this another radio performance or something? like ok yearbook at least was on songs about girls by listedblack but i really want this to be made clear soon

-all i really think i need to know about yearbook is that it's another rob "heterophobic homophonic" cantor angsty boy band song and. listening to it for the first time her. that impression sure isn't going away

-at least i get to hear andrew twinkling those ivories in the back. got a good sound. even if the mixing here is all sorts of wack. a song this complex should not be performed live with only like one microphone

-alright rob i get it you were in love with a girl- and it's over? ok

-live performance of just a friend holy shit hell yes hell yes hell yes for some reason i thought this would be the studio version but no

-i cannot imagine what this song will sound like with steve on the drums hell yes oh will there be banter will rob forget his lines will red say some random 4-syllable phrase will zubin be the best singer in the whole damn band give me an answer now

-already hearing some banter :}

-they're moving weirdly fast and andrew's already got the piano playing even in the beatboxing part. wowie

-ooh kick it andy do those riffs hell yeah

-"that sounded fishy... zubin sedghi!" i'm in love

-KICK IT ANDY

-AND ZUBIN

-and there's the drums! go stevie. go stevie

-good ness andrew just will not let up on the sick as hell keyboarding will he fukc yeah bro kill it

-rob sounds unbelievably tired for this i'm half expecting him to trip up the lyrics at any moment

-"i don't buy it" "don't gimmie that!" you say it boys. oh classic zubin line right there preserved on an official tally hall recording for all eternity, what a treasure this is

-hm isn't this a bit early to go into the pseudo-breakdown chorus? no it works. andrew still rippin it up of course

-and there's the tambourine bay be!

-buildup to the "oh snap" isn't as intense as it could get in later performances which i will gladly blame in its entirety on steve <3

-boy oh boy does rob's voice just sound generally different here. so young so so young

-shooby-doo-wah. well i had low expectations which were not quite fulfilled but it's technically more than what we got on the studio recording so. i won't complain

-THERE IT IS

-BARBEQUE SAUCE BAY BE

-what a fool i was to pause the moment he said it. silly old me <3

-no, no, thank you for coming! but hold on one second. is there not... one more track? technically not a song, technically something i think i've heard before, but if i take a step over to the tally archive...

-cell phone call.

-circus you say? if i had to guess it's the whole world & you given the 08 version of the song but that's a vague guess. can't think of anything better but my current answer isn't that good on its own

-ah! it's joey jo joseph. this wouldn't happen to be that phone call spoken of that, like, invited joe into the band in the first place, would it? i remember that story from an old bio or something, but it doesn't seem like the type of thing that'd be recorded & put on an album. hard to say

-pj? like a certain rob cator frat dude voice JP!?

-well well well now. i'm not sure what to say. i don't recognize that song they're playing as the outro. it could either be some vague listedblack or miscellaneous early tally hall song lost to the void or a demo. i wouldn't exactly know. anyway that ends the pingry ep. shorter than i thought it be, lucky old me. hope you enjoyed!

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2017

Not a very good year for hit songs. Still better than the next one, though.

And a very satisfying #1 that launched an entire infodump about a specific band. I’m not even sorry.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

2017 might not sound super distant, but it’s already distant enough to analyse what started to happen to me that year with some clarity. This is when I started to lose some of my energy and motivation. A lot, in fact. Everything suddenly felt exhausting and this whole “what’s even the point of anything” mentality started to fall on my shoulders. And you know what, at first, while making these recaps, I had no idea what started it all. Was it that super rare infection I caught in early 2018 and almost made me lose a part of a finger? Was it both my grandfathers dying in mid 2018? Was it the general state of the world? But no, I did some digging and noticed this general exhaustion actually started right during summer 2017 and I was like what the f█ck happened in summer 2017? That summer was fine?

And then it clicked. I know exactly what kickstarted my spiral into about 18 months of depression, and it’s got nothing to do with health or family. It’s something that shouldn’t have affected my life in any way, and that I kinda tried to ignore at the time, and some of you might even find me overdramatic or cringy for letting it affect my life. But yeah, as I’ve realised while making these lists, Linkin Park was actually a super important part of my life, so it makes perfect sense: what started it all was Chester Bennington killing himself. Clearly, someone who had contributed so much to convince me that life was worth living and who suddenly decided it wasn’t worth it, that had a huge impact on me, whether I wanted it or not.

Aaaand now I’m crying again. Great.

Anyway. Uh. Important albums that year! Yeah so uh. Depeche Mode made Spirit and it wasn’t good, and so I kinda lost faith they would ever make a great album again, but I did realise one of my teenage dreams and saw them in concert in the Stade de France in July 2017 (it was huge. Going home after that felt like waking up from some sort of hypnotic trance. They even played Walking In My Shoes, one of my absolute favorite songs from them, along with a video featuring a trans person going to work and I started to bawl my eyes out in the middle of the f█cking crowd). Nine Inch Nails also made Add Violence and continued to be super good, and Indochine made 13, and while it wasn’t nearly as good as Black City Parade, it was also better than La République des Météors, so I was pretty happy about that. EDIT: Forgot about Under Your Spell by The Birthday Massacre, which blew my goddamn mind, but still not as much as the next album I'm gonna talk about.

But the defining album of the year, to me, was Mike Oldfield making a sequel to my favorite album from him, with Return to Ommadawn. Of course it’s not as good as Ommadawn. But still. If Ommadawn felt like discovering a new strange country full of weird folklore and forests and mysterious buildings, Return to Ommadawn feels like going back there half a century later and seeing things in ruins and wounded people, but still trying to seek beauty and joy in a partly destroyed landscape. It makes perfect sense considering the circumstances that surround the making of this thing, and it was the only way to make a good sequel to such a legendary album.

Unelligible songs that piss me off... uh, actually there’s only Cut to the Feeling by Carly Rae Jepsen. Why wasn’t it a huge hit. Come to think of it, why hasn’t any Carly Rae song been a huge hit since Good Times. This feels unfair.

Time for some honorable mentions, then.

Feels and also Slide (Calvin Harris and a lot of other people) - Got nothing to say about either of these songs, but they’re both pretty good.

Katchi (Ofenbach) - Nice little earworm.

No Roots (Alice Merton) - Super surprised this was a hit. Good.

OK (Robin Schulz ft James Blunt) - That’s a James Blunt song in the year of our lord 2017 and it sounds actually good??

What About Us (Pink) - Really caught my attention and made me wonder if I should listen to Pink again after a long streak of mediocre Pink songs.

Congratulations (Post Malone) - I find the song mostly boring but the guest verse ending with “uh, Malone... I gotta play on my phone...” is the stuff of legends and that got a chuckle out of me every time I heard it.

Glorious (Macklemore) - I’m glad this was a hit here but at the same time it’s not my favorite song from him. The music video is adorable, though.

Fly (Odyssey) - Nothing to say about that one.

XO Tour Life (Lil Uzi Vert) - The fact that I was regularly humming this is either a sign of quality or yet another sign I was depressed as shit.

Devil in Me (Purple Disco Machine) - What a great artist name.

Symphony (Clean Bandit) - Nothing to say here either, just good sound all around.

Attention (Charlie Puth) - 2017: The Year Charlie Puth Made A Great Song.

All Stars (Martin Solveig & Alma) - The last cut. It was on the list at some point. I really like it a lot, though.

And now, the list. The stuff I genuinely love starts at #6 and things that are still on my mp3 player to this day start at #4.

10 - Chained to the Rhythm (Katy Perry)

US: #73 / FR: #10

I just love the concept of a Katy Perry song about how Katy Perry songs are happy nonsense distracting you from actual issues. What can I say, I’m a sucker for meta stuff.

9 - Water Under The Bridge (Adele)

US: #88 / FR: Not on the list

An Adele song projecting actual positive energy!? That automatically goes on the list.

8 - Praying (Kesha)

US: #67 / FR: Not on the list

You know I mostly dislike slow emotional songs regardless of how good they actually are. I will, however, make an exception for this one even though I very rarely listen to it considering how emotionally taxing it is. That’s definitely a fantastic song, though.

7 - Viens On S’aime (Slimane)

US: Not on the list / FR: #53

“Listen, we love each other, f█ck it, f█ck their words and their decorum, listen, we love each other, f█ck it, f█ck their ideas and what they’re saying”. Well said, dude, well said.

6 - There’s Nothing Holding Me Back (Shawn Mendes)

US: #23 / FR: #91

That’s a very good song for running and that is becoming increasingly rarer, so I’ll take what I can get.

5 - Paris (The Chainsmokers)

US: #42 / FR: Not on the list (that’s irony for you)

Unlike Closer this is an unrelatable song about rich young people that can afford to live in Paris just “to get away from [their] parents” but honestly that’s the only negative thing I have to say against it. It sounds fantastic.

4 - Castle On The Hill (Ed Sheeran)

US: #40 / FR: #50

We’ve now entered the realm of songs that are still on my mp3 player to this day. This is the only Ed Sheeran song I’ve ever liked, and I love it. It sounds like a lost U2 song. Maybe from a strange dimension where U2 became more fragile and emotional instead of more pretentious.

I have no idea why this guy keeps making such boring stuff when he’s got that kind of song in him. I have no clue.

3 - Something Just Like This (Coldplay & The Chainsmokers)

US: #5 / FR: #19

Hey so Coldplay is still on my lists, apparently. It’s a bit too slow, some lyrics about superheros don’t make much sense, and the drop isn’t super good, but my god, that guitar near the end makes everything worth it. Just amazing colors and textures all around.

It’s not even my favorite song on that EP! I think Miracles (Someone Special) is even better, but eh, this one is a close second.

2 - 24k Magic (Bruno Mars)

US: #16 / FR: Not on the list (#13 in 2016 but I put it on the 2017 list instead)

Am I the only one to like this more than Uptown Funk? It’s so much fun to sing along to it. And unlike Uptown Funk, it’s making me feel nostalgic for an era I actually (vaguely) knew, the super colorful and ridiculous early 90s. My s.o loves it too and when it comes up on the radio or on our playlists you can bet we’re both going PUT YOUR. PINKY. RINGS UP. TO THE. MOOOOOOOON like two idiots.

This is the song I could have put on the previous list but elected to put on this list instead since it was elligible for both years, by the way! Since 2017 was less good than 2016, I thought it would be more interesting to save such a great song for later.

It would have topped the list too, if it wasn’t for something I didn’t expect to be elligible before reading the French year-end list.

Strap yourselves in, because I had no real opportunity to talk about this band at length in the posts made for the years when it was the most relevant in my life, so this is going to be quite long.

1 - La Vie Est Belle (Indochine)

US: Not on the list / FR: #44

As you already know if you remember some of my previous lists, Indochine is a band I started to love right in the middle of the absolute worst years of my life. These guys had been around since the 80s as a super successful new wave band, then became very unpopular and went underground for about twelve years in the entire 90s, then one of them died, then every member except the singer basically rotated, and then they suddenly re-emerged in 2002-2003 with Paradize, a monster of an album, full of energy, sinister themes and weird provocative songs, and an entire generation of angsty teenagers (me included as you can guess) embraced it wholeheartedly.

And all of a sudden Indochine was the favorite French mainstream band of local young punk/goths! So many kids with the Indochine logo in highschool. Nowadays the band is mocked and well-loved in equal doses by just about everyone, but I suspect it’s just because we’ve all grown up.

Placebo, Linkin Park and Indochine were the bands that ruled my entire world in 2003/2004. My mother hated all three of them, because of course she did, but especially Indochine, because according to her it was partly their fault if I was gender non-conforming. See, she used to say, they had put all kinds of bad ideas in my head and now I was all messed up.

...Holy shit, that’s a lot of blame to put on a ridiculous new wave band who’s first hit song from 1983 is just a long nonsensical list of shitty old Bob Morane pulp novels.

But here’s the problem. Even if Indochine kept having hit song after hit song, those were never the best songs on their albums. Here I am, 31, making these top ten lists since last December, and becoming more and more frustrated to see none of my favorite modern Indochine songs are elligible. My favorite Paradize singles were Mao Boy, Popstitute and especially Marilyn (god, this song rocked my entire year alongside Placebo’s The Bitter End. 2003 was such a fantastic year for dark energetic hit songs)? Too bad, the biggest hits were J’ai demandé à la lune and Le Grand Secret. Alice & June had four fantastic singles? Too bad, none of them is elligible! Same thing for the entirety of Black City Parade. Oh, but that song I hate from La Republique des Météors is elligible, I guess!

So we’re in summer 2017, and my life is completely different now, and Indochine releases La Vie Est Belle (I’m linking the album version and not the music video because it has some violent themes in it). I’m in my car doing some errands and the local radio goes “hey new song from Indochine” and I’m like “oh shit, gotta hear this” and then two minutes later “oh wow, that is super good. Won’t be a hit though”.

And yet, it was a hit! It became huge, even! And at that point I was already loving that song even though I thought it was just a super good but tragic love song about a significant other dying too young.

And then, about a month later, the wordplay of the first line finally hit me with the force of a semitruck. It’s not a love song. It’s a song about the singer’s dead twin. Who died in 1999.

It’s such a devastating, beautiful song, and yet it’s full of energy. I. adore. it. It’s exactly the kind of song you need to continue to fight and to live and to help other people in this day and age. “Life is beautiful and cruel, it looks like us sometimes” indeed. And it’s one of the best on the album, too!

So yes, 15 years after I first fell in love with this band and after they helped me during super dark times, finally, I can put one of their songs at the top of one of these lists, hands down, no debate whatsoever.

That probably sounds ridiculous but it’s genuinely making me feel extremely emotional.

Next up: I thought music sucked that year because I was depressed but I relistened to it and no it wasn’t just me

[bipercabeth]

So, can we hear your thoughts on TS7? I remember your breakdown for the Ben Platt album and wanted to hear what you have to say about Lover

oh man, i already know this has to go under the cut. i have,,, so many feelings

i forgot that you existed - this song is such a good opener for the album. both the lyrics and production are so light and carefree, which makes it the perfect transition from the intensity of reputation to the softness of lover. she’s not reinventing herself, she’s growing. i love the way she plays with harmonies in the chorus! and i adore how the last line of the verses swells ominously before releasing into the playful staccato of the chorus, i think it’s really indicative of the anxiety surrounding the situation vs the simple and relative ease with which it was all forgotten

cruel summer - tbh i’m glad this wasn’t a single in the place of ME! or yntcd because listening to this was literally a full body experience. it would’ve killed as a lead single, but it definitely hit harder for me hearing for the first time in the context of the album. i read the lyrics of the first five songs when they leaked and genuinely thought i wasn’t going to like this song, but i went absolutely feral at the bridge. (also upon listening i adored the lyrics, so i will no longer be trusting my opinions based on lyrics alone.) if i wasn’t sold on the rest of it, the bridge is what solidified this as one of my favorites on the album. the way the synths build and then cut out for HE LOOKS UP GRINNIN LIKE A DEVIL,,, i lost my shit. astral projected. if this song is playing, i will not turn it off before i get to scream that line. also “i love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?” is incredible. 

lover - words cannot describe my love for this song. my friend veronica described it as the love song of our generation and honestly? she’s not wrong. lover’s lyrics are simple, but hit like a ton of bricks regardless. the key to simple lyricism is finding the words that everyone has always wanted to say (lean on me is a really good example of this but i’m not going to get into songwriting theory on this post) and lover does exactly that. simple descriptions of simple acts are her window to how all-encompassing this love is. the 6/8 timing (a fucking WALTZ y’all) gives it the 2 in the morning kitchen dance feel. it’s a love song in every aspect. i’m never gonna be over it. 

the man - a bop. the low notes in this song? incredible, especially in the bridge. those low harmonies took me OUT! the first line of the chorus is so killer as well. and she says bitch twice! taylor said i am 29 i curse and have sex, get over it. there’s less to analyze in this song, but that doesn’t mean i’m not in love with it. 

the archer - i am telling you i heard the first goddamn synth note and KNEW jack antonoff was all over this song. i really needed this song to come out when it did, because after those two singles,, i needed some hope for this album. it did not disappoint. the slow build of the synths into one massive crescendo at the bridge instead of the usual rise and fall of most pop music. every single note builds to the bridge, to the anxiety of that repeated they see right through me, to the cause all of my enemies started out friends / help me hold on to you. it swells like the slow draw of a knocked arrow, like an archer taking aim. and then all at once, it fades like the string was released. i adore every single aspect of this song. 

i think he knows - my percabeth loving ass needs to take a second to talk about the line i am an architect, i’m drawing up the plans and how it sent me to the fucking moon. but anyway. different post. it is physically impossible for me to stay still when this song plays. the harmonies on that AH in the chorus made me lose it. i want you, bless my soul is so southern and absolutely beautiful. she’s straight up pining in this song, and she knows it. that way she closes the song with that line on loop? sets the tone so well.

miss americana and the heartbreak prince - i have no idea why i didn’t like this song upon first listen, but now i like it! still not my favorite on the album, but the bar is high. 

paper rings - god i cannot believe that she said his friends were high at the met gala i’m fucking dead. this whole song is peak old taylor, just grown up. it’s got the same catchiness as stay stay stay, but with a more grown (but still fun) outlook. this one is real experience talking, and it shows. she’s got the love she always wanted to write about! i’m not okay! 

cornelia street - her delivery really makes the song for me. you can physically feel how much she loves joe and how real that fear of losing him. that stripped down chorus after the bridge where her voice breaks? she’s so in love. i’m so in love. 

death by a thousand cuts - GOD i love this song with everything in me, even more since watching Someone Great. it’s the perfect narrative song for that movie. it also contains the single most Taylor Swift^tm lyric of all time: but if the story’s over, why am i still writing pages? ALSO? WE WANNA TALK ABOUT BRIDGE CITY?? this bridge goes so hard. i can’t convey my love for it unless we’re in the car together so i can scream it properly. ultimate car song. 

london boy - so fun! people who are upset over this song gotta calm down, it’s a fun, catchy song. i don’t have much to say about it, but i enjoy it! i won’t go out of my way to queue it, but it’s cute and cheeky and i like it.

soon you’ll get better - i knew from the first goddamn guitar lick that this was going to wreck me, but once i realized what it was about,,, i didn’t stand a chance. i literally went back after my first listen through the whole album and listened to this song on loop for at least half an hour and just. sobbed. it hits home way too hard for me. again with that devastatingly simple songwriting. you’ll get better soon / cause you have to absolutely destroyed me. also, this is a really small detail, but that breath at 2:41 really does me in. it’s so defeated, i can’t. her delivery in this one is an absolute gut punch.

false god - jack antonoff is all over this one and i love it for that. taylor swift said i fuck and i respect that. the sax? get out of here. it’s so perfect. it’s horny, but like,,, emotionally horny. perfect fit for this album. i adore it.

you need to calm down - okay ngl i don’t like this song or ME!, but i’m really glad they were singles because if i heard them on this album for the first time i would’ve been :/ about it. instead we got that right out of the way and now i can appreciate the good parts of them. the oh’s in the chorus are really pretty! i don’t actively dislike this song, but i don’t actively like it either. 

afterglow - i love that taylor put a song about fighting on this album. i think this made the album feel so much more real. it’s about love, and fighting is a part of that! we break a little from the picture perfect aspect of songs like paper rings and get a little grittier. people make mistakes, but the love guides the choice to stay, to ask for forgiveness and promise to do better. this makes the entire narrative of lover so much stronger.

ME! - same sentiment as yntcd in terms of it being the lead single, except i’m really not a fan of this song. i can handle it up until the spelling is fun part. i cannot believe “can’t spell awesome without me” is so close to daylight. i appreciate the point of the song and what she sets out to do with it, but i just. can’t get over that damn bridge. 

it’s nice to have a friend - i really didn’t like this song at first and i’m still warming up to it, but i definitely am! it’s such a percabeth song. i’m not sure why i didn’t like it, probably because it doesn’t escalate or go anywhere, but i think that steadiness contributes to the meaning of it

daylight - i could literally write an entire essay on this song alone. it’s the perfect closing song for this album. i don’t want to see anything else now that i saw you / i don’t want to think of anything else now that i’ve thought of you are literally the most tender lines i have heard in my whole life. the comparison between this and her notes from red make me openly weep. the bridge of this song literally feels light daylight, it shines and feels warm and god i love love! i once believed love would be burning red, but it’s golden made me cry when i heard it. i can’t stop thinking about that quote that says “lover is the sound of a songwriter getting to write the album she’s always wanted to write”. i could literally cry just thinking about that. she got to write the album about golden love! her whole career is based around singing and writing about love, and now she has exactly what she’s been grasping at all this time. it’s downright poetic. the monologue/outro only did me in more. she’s spent so long being defined by other people, and here she makes that definition for herself on an album that she owns every part of. it’s perfect. 

[toerisdivine]

Top 10 Worst Pop Songs of 2019

And as always, have some runners-up Chris Brown, Drake - No Guidance     This song is so boring I was forgetting what it sounded like as I was listening to it.  And I like looking for excuses to trash Chris Brown. Taylor Swift - You Need to Calm Down     Hey maybe comparing your haters with people who want to oppress gay people wasn’t a good call?  There are some much better songs that use the same chords, for instance, Paper Planes or Sunflower.     Also I’m a little salty that Paper Rings and Cruel Summer weren’t the big singles from this album because both of those are jams and you should go listen to them if you haven’t heard them. Panic at the Disco - Hey, Look Ma, I Made It     This song shares an energy with that one friend who just spent the last 30 minutes puking before coming out of the bathroom to ask for another glass of fireball.  Except whatever the cocaine version of doing that is (none of my friends do coke). Ariana Grande - 7 Rings     I want it.  I got it.  I want it.  I got it.  I want it.  I got it. Yes.  I get it.  You want it.  You got it. Jonas Brothers - Cool     I don’t know how to describe my dislike of new Jonas Brothers other than “They have a bad aesthetic,” or “They failed their vibe check.” Lil Tecca - Ran$om     This dude’s voice has no emotion in it but other than that this song is kinda solid Marshmello ft. CHVRCHES - Here With Me/ Marshmello ft. Bastille - Happier     Marshmellos is the same Maroon 5 - Memories     This probably deserves to be on the list proper but I also couldn’t be bothered to listen to more than 10 seconds of this.  It’s called self care.

And now, the list proper 10. City Girls - Act Up     On one hand I’m happy that mediocre female rappers can rap about sex and curse a lot over a limp beat and achieve the same level of success as the mediocre male rappers who do the same, but on the other hand it would be nice to have good rappers with strong beats on the charts instead. 9. Jonas Brothers - Only Human     Most of us remember 2013 and Blurred Lines, so I’m not going to talk too much about why writing a song about coercing a woman into sex is a bad idea, and instead ask that if you’re going to write such a song, can you at least sell it?  The lyrics say that he’s being over powered by lustful urges and desires that he can’t control, but nothing sounds more controlled than repeating 4 bars of cod reggae and singing in a weak falsetto.   It’s hard to claim something is a crime of passion when you’re clearly not passionate.  A good point of contrast is “Sex Type Thing” by Stone Temple Pilots, which does a much better job of sounding wild and out of control. 8. Marshmello, Kane Brown - One Thing Right     What do I say about this song?  Every Mashmello song sounds exactly the same, to the point where I’d be more surprised if he didn’t copy and paste his drops and make minor changes.  I guess country, pop, alternative and metalcore are the same thing to him.  Even his own drum samples seem to be tired of Marshmello drops, considering how loud they are. Remember when EDM kept getting new drop styles every few months and then one or two of them would break onto the charts so many of the EDM hits over the course of the year would showcase different parts of the scene?  I’m sure Marshmello isn’t directly responsible for killing that, but he’s certainly keeping it dead. 7. Ed Sheeran, JB - I Don’t Care     If Ed Sheeran’s electronic music were a painting, it would be white paint covering a blank canvas.  He’s approaching electronic music from the same perspective as one writes acoustic songs, but where acoustic instruments have an inherent beauty that leaves little necessity for creative sound pallets, I would argue that finding new sound pallets and textures is the most important part of electronic music.  Every song he releases is another flavorless rice cake.     So about this song specifically, I have a few questions.  1: What type of party does Ed Sheeran not fit into?  Not only is he rich and famous, he’s also a dork.  2: What does Bieber add to this song?  3:  If neither of them fit in at this party, and are complaining to each other about it, hasn’t the party just gotten a lot better because they seem to be fitting right in with each other?  They should just leave and get a pizza together.     When it comes down to it though, this is still miles better than Shape of You. 6. Dababy - Suge     Dababy is a completely average rapper.  He’s got decent flows, but he doesn’t stand out in a good or a bad way.  As a result, Dababy songs live and die by the quality of the beats, and Suge’s beat sounds like trampled mud.  It’s just hi-hits and a garbled bassline, a style I’m dubbing butt-hop because it has very similar problems to the muddy post-grunge people call butt rock.  The worst part of this song is that the beat wasn’t made by the butt-hop pioneer MikeWillMadeIt, which means his influence is spreading. 5. Tones and I - Dance Monkey     I’ve been pretty upfront with how burnt out I am on the current state of alternative/indie pop music.  Dance Monkey doesn’t quite have the anthemic qualities that have grown stale, opting for more of a pseudo EDM style with a section that’s halfway between a drop and a chorus.   There are really only two things that stand out about this song, the first being the drop bassline that’s actually pretty good, and of course, the vocals.  Tones’ voice is what makes or breaks the song for people, as you’ll either find them endearing and unique, or like nails on a chalkboard.  I think you know which category of people I’m in. 4. Blueface - Thotiana     You know those rapper stereotypes made by people who hate rap and don’t consider it real music?  How they don’t have musical talent, can only rap about how great they are and having sex with girls, and not even creatively, or how they all sound the same and they aren’t even trying?  How about how their beats are too repetitive and don’t stand out from each other?  Well, it turns out those people were right about Blueface. 3. Ed Sheeran, Khalid - Beautiful People     It’s deeply sad that a song about wanting to not fit in with stuffy high class society and keeping true to oneself sounds this painfully inoffensive, like it could fit in anywhere in polite society without anyone noticing.  It’s boring and flavorless to the point of being insufferable.  Ed Sheeran and Khalid’s voices fit in so much I can’t tell who is singing which part.     It’s too late Ed.  You’ve been boring for years now. 2. Lewis Capaldi - Someone You Loved     This might be the laziest non hip hop song to hit the top 40 all decade.  Everything about this song screams “I’ve been playing piano for 2 months and I decided to try writing a song.  Please be kind.”  First off, it’s the pop song chords, I-V-vi-IV played in the standard notes, 1, 3 and 5.  Second off, the left hand plays the root of the chord and nothing else, while the other hand alternates between the other two notes of the chord.  For the chorus the left hand plays octaves to add a little more power, and at the end he plays whole notes with his right hand.  That said, the bridge does use a ii chord, which must have exhausted him.  Wouldn’t want to get too experimental on us.     Ok, so you might be thinking that it’s basic to get right to the roots of him emotion, and he’s a talented wordsmith, but he isn’t.  Every line of this song is a cliche.  Any high school teacher would cross every line out and ask Capaldi to try writing his own words next time.     As if this song wasn’t bad enough, Capaldi can’t sing either, or at the very least the studio version isn’t in this guy’s range.  His throaty singing is completely dreadful, and it’s the cherry on top that takes this song from absolutely worthless to actively torture.

1. Lil Dicky - Earth     How do you give insight to a song when everything that makes it terrible is so brazenly surface level that doing anything but listing the problems feels like you’re missing the point?  Earth isn’t bad because of trend chasing or poorly thought out themes what it represents metatextualy as part of the music industry at large.  Earth sucks for a dozen reasons that were readily apparent to anyone the moment they first listened to it: the jokes are juvenile, the pacing goes from jokes to not jokes, Lil Dicky is the worst singer on the track yet still sings the chorus, the chorus is soulless and sounds awful, the beat is soulless and sounds awful, Lil Dicky couldn’t write a verse that doesn’t sound like bad improv, Lil Dicky felt the need to forgive a country for a war that happened 80 years ago, before most people running the country now were born, idolizing Leonardo DiCaprio more than anyone who actually studies the climate, featuring Maroon 5, and most importantly, expecting us to sit through all of this for 7 cursed minutes.

[putschki1969]

VOICE Tour Live Report Part 2

Hi everyone!

It’s been 84 years...Okay, here is part two of my report. The ACTUAL report so to speak. Just in time for the tour final. I am expecting some news articles to be posted soon. I hope we will get some nice pictures of the Tokyo live. Anyways, sorry to have kept you waiting. Things have been crazy in Japan. There was a lot of stuff that didn’t go according to plan and I never got the chance to write the rest of my report while I was in Japan. And now that I have been back, I have been pretty busy with work >_< Unfortunately, writing reports like this takes A LOT of time because I try to do it as detailed as possible, I wanna do Wakana’s live justice after all. Oh well, I should stop rambling and start with the actual report. Before I focus on the songs I would like to share a few general thoughts.

Seating/audience: As most of you probably know, I attended both the Tokyo as well as the Fukuoka concert of Wakana’s tour. I had amazing seats for both lives. In Tokyo I was seated in the second row and in Fukuoka I had a first-row seat. Both were located right at the center so Wakana was literally in front of me. BANZAI!! The Fukuoka stage wasn’t very high and there was only about 1 ½ metres between the stage and the first row so basically I could have reached out and touched Wakana (not that I would ever do that but you get what I mean XD). It’s the closest I have ever been to her during a concert. I was able to see every micro expression on her face, I looked into her eyes, I waved at her, it felt so good to be noticed. On a more or less related note I wanna add that I felt kinda bad for Wakana because for the Fukuoka live the hall was pretty empty, I think the audience only filled about half of it (if not less - for reference, the main hall has a capacity for about 1,000 people, I think we weren’t even 500 people in the audience). I hear it was the same for her other venues (except the Tokyo live which was quite well visited but even there the upper floor was empty). Lining up for the goods was also completely different. Merchandise sale started very late, about 1 ½ hours before the live and there were hardly any people lining up. It’s really sad to see Wakana getting so little support for her solo activities. I guess lots of YK and Kalafina fans aren’t really interested to follow her. Right now Wakana’s management is making the mistake of still thinking in Kalafina dimensions. Wakana as a solo artist simply can’t fill out halls like Kalafina. Maybe at some point in her career she will be able to but I feel she will have to do a lot of tie-ins to achieve that sort of popularity. Right now it would be smarter to go for slightly smaller (and more classical) venues I think...This way the halls would fill up quickly and it would probably reduce the ticket prices (which in turn would make more people willing to purchase them). I hope for the next tour they will consider making some changes. Wakana deserves to perform at sold out lives.

Band style: Speaking of “more classical” venues, I feel like Wakana would also benefit from a more “classical style/acoustic arrangement”. The band style is a bit overwhelming at times, there were a few songs that would have sounded SO MUCH better with a less band-heavy arrangement, at least in my opinion. In particular the drums and bass guitar felt a little overbearing during some parts of the performance (“Yakusoku no Yoake” and “Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni” immediately come to mind - the bass was bordering on obnoxious during “Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni” and the drums kinda almost ruined the mystical/translucent atmosphere of “Yakusoku no Yoake”). Don’t get me wrong, I am not blaming the musicians, I think they all did well. The guitarist was particularly dedicated, he switched between e-guitar and acoustic guitar throughout the entire concert, even during songs. There was a staff member that constantly had to run back and forth, I felt kinda bad for him. At any rate, all the musicians were really into it and they were obviously having lots of fun. Unfortunately, most of Wakana’s songs simply aren’t suited to be played by a “standard” band.

Vocals: Wakana’s vocals were great during both concerts. As far as I can tell she hit all of her notes, to me she sounded particularly beautiful in Jidai, Boku no Kokoro no Tokei, Hikari Furu and Ai no Hana. At no point did she seem exhausted, I didn’t notice her getting out of breath and she barely even sweated. Due to the nature of most songs, she didn’t move a lot so she was able to focus fully on her singing. I did notice however that her voice got occasionally drowned by the band. Once in a while she would sing her lines really quietly, not sure why though. Maybe she lacked confidence or she forgot the lyrics. Perhaps she purposefully used a quiet voice and didn’t take into account that the background music and band would be so loud. That’s just a minor complaint though and didn’t really take away from the overall experience.

Production: The stage set up was very simple which I didn’t mind. The decoration consisted of these metal thingies hanging from the ceiling (as seen on the report pictures). The atmosphere was mostly created via the lighting. There was a screen in the back but it was barely used. To be honest, I only really noticed it during “Kaze ni Naritai”. I am sure it was used during other songs but for the life of me, I can’t remember. There was no choreography or anything. Wakana just did what she felt like doing. Some swaying here, some arm gesture there. A bit of walking across the stage during the more up-beat songs. The outfits were obviously chosen by Wakana herself. You could tell she felt very comfortable in them. She also opted for flat sandals. It’s details like that which made the lives feel very real and intimate.

MCs: Wakana was quite nervous during her MCs (especially at her Tokyo live which was filmed). At times she was a bit awkward and didn’t really know what to say. She even admitted to feel a little uncomfortable since this is the first time in her solo career to have so many cameras around. She definitely talked a lot more at the Tokyo live but I am not sure if all of that is gonna make it onto the DVD/BD (I hope so though!). During her Fukuoka live she was far more relaxed and towards the end you could tell that she didn’t mind the MCs at all. She was able to talk freely at that point.  Either way, at both lives she managed to work her way through the MCs. The audience was very supportive and found her little awkwardness quite precious. I mean, how could you not find her cute?

Tokyo or Fukuoka? Overall, I thought the Fukuoka live was much better than the concert in Tokyo. Wakana was more relaxed and I guess she didn’t feel as pressured since there were no cameras. She cried at the end when she said her final goodbye. It was so sweet. Also, the acoustics were a lot better at the Fukuoka Convention Center, at least it sounded that way for me. The band wasn’t so loud and Wakana’s microphone was quite well-balanced which really cannot be said for the Tokyo live (but as I mentioned in my previous post, I think it will be easy to fix with a bit of studio magic, the video release should sound fine).

Okay, now let’s finally get to the songs...

01.約束の夜明け | Yakusoku no Yoake Wakana came on stage wearing the orange/salmon-coloured dress and flat white Roman-style sandals. The lights weren’t doing her arms any favours to be honest but aside from that she looked gorgeous. The colour of the dress really accentuated her skin tone. Her hair was made up in an elaborate ponytail with lots of braids. For this song there was some sort of see-through screen similar to the one used for Koibito no Mukashigatari no Yūgure no during Kalafina’s FOTW tour. The song started with a short intro/overture that sounded very epic. I think they should have added that part to the studio version (since that one starts rather abruptly). As mentioned in my quick overall review, everything was quite loud during this song (more so during the Tokyo live than the one in Fukuoka). I didn’t really like how the band sounded, to me it felt rather overwhelming. I think something different is needed for an almost ethereal song like that. Maybe some strings or a flute...Sometimes a little less is more. On top of that, Wakana’s singing was quite loud to compensate the sound of the instruments so that didn’t exactly make it better. Wakana did a little “oohhhh-ing” for the rather long instrumental section that starts around 2:40 minutes. It’s also noticeable in the studio version if you listen closely but it’s barely there. For the live version Wakana is doing some proper “ooohh-ing”, it sounded really nice. I expected to REALLY love this song since it’s among my album faves but unfortunately the loudness and arrangement made it very hard for me to fully appreciate the performance. It wasn’t bad or anything but I also wasn’t blown away. I guess you could say it was a little underwhelming...

02.流れ星 | Nagareboshi A straightforward performance. Sounded pretty much exactly like the studio version. For me this song is ranked pretty low as far as the album tracks are concerned. I had hoped Wakana’s live performance would make me appreciate the song more but I still feel the same way about it. I mean, I don’t dislike it or anything, I just don’t enjoy it as much as most of the other album tracks. It just doesn’t click with me if that makes sense. At the end of the performance we get a small highlight. Wakana went up to her little table and picked up a couple of instruments. First she used the tingsha to create some sort of “bling” sound. Then she took the big rainstick and slowly moved it upside down to create the sound of rain. Honestly, I can’t wait for you to see her face on the video release, I hope they caught her expressions on camera, she looked so happy playing those instruments. Like a little child that got to play with her favourite toy.

MC: I don’t have much memory of the MCs tbh (or rather, I don’t remember what was being said in which MC because there were SO MANY) but I think she talked about her album release here and how she wants people to listen to her as an individual, she wants people to focus on her as a human being, this tour is only about her and her voice (which is also why the tour title is “VOICE”). This is also where she talked about the weather I think. How she tends to be really unlucky and wherever she goes she brings rain with her. During her first few tour lives the weather was always really nice but unfortunately it rained a lot on the day of her Tokyo live. It did however stop raining towards the late afternoon. The weather wasn’t exactly nice but at least we managed to stay dry. It was super hot and sunny for Wakana’s Fukuoka live. Maybe she mentioned the cameras here too or it might have been in a later MC...? Anyways, she confirmed that we would get a home video release for this concert.

03.瑠璃色の空 | Ruriiro no Sora This is probably my least favourite song of the album, it’s just not my cup of tea. As a result, the performance didn’t really stand out to me and I don’t have much to say about it.. However, for those who like the song I think you will like the live performance because Wakana sounded really good. No complaints.

04.Hard Rain This is where the concert really picked up for me. It was the first up-beat song of the live and I generally enjoyed the performance. In the beginning when I first listened to the album I wasn’t sure whether or not I liked “Hard Rain”, both “Ruriiro no Sora” and “Hard Rain” have a similar vibe, they almost sound “jazz-y” to me and honestly, jazz is a genre I don’t enjoy at all. But unlike “Ruriiro no Sora” “Hard Rain” managed to win me over. The studio version is really nice but the live version is so much better. Wakana delivered a lovely performance, her stage presence was great. During the chorus she kept walking from one end of the stage to the other, flapping her multi-layered skirt. She came right to the edge of the stage so I felt really close to her.The “paya-paya” part at the end of the song was lip-synched to some extent. Or at least they had a very loud track playing in the background. The last few “paya-payas” she sang herself.

MC: I think in this MC Wakana talks about the privilege of working together with so many different and talented composers/songwriters. She feels honoured that all these beautiful songs were made for her. She learned a lot, she got to meet lots of amazing people, she got a lot more involved in the creative process. The next song was composed and written by Yūko Andō, Wakana is particularly smitten by this piece because it’s so powerful, it’s a showcase of female strength.

05.記憶の人 | Kioku no Hito In my opinion Wakana’s live performance far exceeded the studio version. Those who already love the studio version will fall in love even more with the song once they watch the live. At least that’s what happened to me. There was so much emotion in her voice. She sounded beautiful. THIS is the kind of singing style I enjoy most from Wakana, it’s this kind of song where she gets to shine. The previous songs lacked this particular charm (at least it felt that way to me). Don’t get me wrong, they were all solid performances but there are distinctive aspects of Wakana’s voice that I originally fell in love with and that aren’t really all that present in the above mentioned songs (because they are a different style to what Wakana usually sings). Does this make sense? The band thankfully held back here, the arrangement was very simple, no excessive use of drums, e-guitar or bass.

06.時の音 | Toki no Ne Just like with “Kioku no Hito” this song was much more impressive being performed live (as impressive as a slow ballad like that can get :P). While listening to the album I usually neglected this track because I didn’t really care for it all that much. However, Wakana’s nuanced performance really moved me. There was something in her voice that struck my heart, it’s hard to explain. Once again the band held back for which I was very grateful. An understated piece like this sounds best with a simple arrangement.

MC: I think this might have been the MC where she talked about the sky and taking lots of pictures. She loves watching the sky, the sun and the trees. How the position of the sun changes the entire scenery, how the strength of the wind puts everything in motion. She wants everyone to get a feel for the summer wind so for her cover corner she chose the song “Kaze ni Naritai” as intro. She thinks it’s a perfect song for the season.

07.風になりたい | Kaze ni Naritai ❇Cover (original by THE BOOM) Probably the most quirky and laid back performance of the night. A feel-good song if there ever was one. Everyone had a blast. Wakana was so hyper and she was dancing around like a little girl. She got the audience to clap along, it was a ton of fun. I didn’t expect to like this song so much because I wasn’t really impressed with the original when I listened to it on youtube but boy, Wakana truly worked her magic, I was mesmerised, it felt like we were all at the beach. Throughout the song she used a small rattle and let me tell you, she took the shaking seriously. Can’t wait for everyone to watch this performance on DVD/BD.Vocally this song wasn’t outstanding or anything, it was just about having fun.

MC: Next up she talks about how there are so many artists she admires and she decided early on that she wanted to sing some of their songs during her lives. Last year during her autumn tour she already sang a song by Spitz (they are among her favourite bands) so for this tour she KNEW that she wanted to sing another Spitz song. This time she chose Hotaru which is one of her all-time favourite songs.

08.ホタル | Hotaru ❇Cover (original by Spitz) Ever since Wakana had mentioned in an interview that she would love to sing this song together with the lead singer of Spitz one day, I have been in love with it. I watched the original on Youtube and was immediately smitten by Masamune Kusano’s voice. Wakana uses a very similar style to sing the song, it’s very intense and soulful. The arrangement is also pretty much the same. Just imagine the original being sung by Wakana and you will know what to expect.

MC: This MC was pretty long and quite different at the Tokyo and Fukuoka live, I fear I might mix up things a little. Here she talks a lot about loving Miyuki Nakajima. Last time she sang “Ito” and this time she is gonna sing “Jidai”, a song that has left a huge impression on her. She used to sing it as a young girl but back then she didn’t understand the meaning of the lyrics (find the English lyrics HERE). She just sang it because she liked the melody. As she became older, the lyrics gradually started to make sense and now it’s so much more powerful. Wakana says that as time goes by so many things happen, everything changes, steadily we learn to love new things, we say goodbye to old things. At the Tokyo live she tried to recite a part of the lyrics but for some reason she couldn’t remember the lines in the heat of the moment. She was standing there, flustered, trying to remember the lines. Not a single word came out of her mouth though. She looked at the ceiling looking for a hint but obviously there was none, the pianist even started playing a few tones so Wakana would remember but nope, it didn’t happen. Eventually Wakana gave up and just decided to sing the song. I hope they keep that part in the DVD/BD.

09.時代 | Jidai ❇Cover (orignal by Miyuki Nakajima) Absolutely breathtaking, I LOVE this song so much, I understand why Wakana is such a big fan of it. And really, Wakana sings it perfectly. This is the kind of song that was MADE for her. It was a very emotional performance for everyone because we all had to think of Kalafina parting ways and Wakana taking a new path.

10.水の証 | Mizu no Akashi I was so happy to hear her perform this live since it’s literally one of her oldest songs. I have never attended a YK live so last year during Wakana’s symphony concert, I got to listen to it for the first time. I was mesmerised back then and I was just as charmed this time around. I feel like Wakana is getting better and better at performing this song. She literally sounded like old-school Wakana. After the song had ended, Wakana took a small bow and walked off. Since the music was still playing there was no applause.

～ Mizu no Akashi inst ～  (dress change): The instrumental started out quite slow and quiet. Steadily it became more up-beat and epic, basically like one of YK’s typical instrumental pieces. I liked it quite a bit but I wasn’t blown away. Not sure if Satoshi Takebe arranged this or if the musicians improvised, either way, it was a nice little transition. They then played a little intro for Tsubasa that reminded me a lot of the beginning of “the battle is to the strong”. That was pretty epic. Wakana came on stage wearing her heavily patterned dress. I personally liked it a lot because the cut of this dress was much more flattering than the previous one. Plus, we got some Waka-collarbones and in my book that’s always a bonus.

11.翼 | Tsubasa I am really sad that Wakana doesn’t perform the song like she did on the music program Bokura no Ongaku (CLICK ME). That rendition had so much edge, she was literally growling some of her lines. Something we have never really seen from her before and certainly a welcome change. Ahhh, that was such a powerful performance. Alas, for this tour Wakana has decided to sing the song in a manner that’s quite similar to the studio version (comparable to the version we got from the Odaiba Venus Fort release event). Wakana does well, she sounds good, there’s no doubt that it is a great performance BUT there is a lack of “oomph” if you know what I mean. Her expressions and gestures also aren’t as passionate as they were in that music show. But hey, it’s fine. Perfectly enjoyable performance.

MC: There was a short MC where she talked about wanting to enjoy the following song together with the audience. Once again she invited us to clap along. a few people got up from their seats.

12.君だけのステージ | Kimi Dake no Stage WOW!! Wakana was glowing in this one, the song radiates so much happiness. She had a smile on her face the entire time. I can’t remember the melody of the song but the chorus is super uplifting and cheerful. I hope we will get a single release in the future. I can understand why it’s not on the album though, it’s too up-beat I think, it wouldn’t have fit the overall vibe XD

MC: This is when the band introduction happened...I wonder if this was also where she asked the audience members about where they came from. At one point she asked everyone from Tokyo to raise their hand, then everyone who came to the live from another part of the country. And finally she asked everyone from overseas to raise their hand. OF COURSE I was raising my hand as fast as I could. I am kinda sad that she didn’t ask the same question at the Fukuoka live T_T  

13.むすんでひらく | Musunde Hiraku Solid performance, perfect continuation of “Kimi Dake no Stage”. If I am not mistaken I think she struggled a bit with some of her notes...probably because of the faster tempo...Almost everyone stood up for this song and did the typical Kalafina hand/arm gesture. Not sure what to think of that actually. It’s like no one was invested in the live until she started singing a Kalafina song. Wakana had tried really hard to engage the audience during Kaze ni Naritai and Kimi Dake no Stage but you could tell people were holding back (for whatever reason). With the first note of “Musunde Hiraku” everyone literally jumped out of their seat. Kinda disrespectful if you ask me...maybe that’s just me reading too much into it but it didn’t sit well with me...

MC (Satoshi Takebe joins Wakana on stage): This part and the following two songs were Tokyo-exclusive. Wakana asked everyone to take a seat again and introduced Satoshi Takebe. She talked a bit about him being the producer of her previous and current tour, about him being awfully busy (they didn’t even have time to rehearse together!). He then says a few nice things about Wakana and apologises for talking too much. Wakana tells him it’s totally fine, she has been talking all evening and is happy someone else is taking over. She was like, “please keep talking so I don’t have to talk!” XD Satoshi Takebe explains that they decided to perform two songs together, the first one being a song that Wakana has always wanted to sing at a concert, she has been singing it so often at karaoke. The second one being a song Satoshi Takebe has always wanted to try and play.

14. ハナミズキ | Hanamizuki ❇Cover (original by Yō Hitoto) Sorry, can’t say anything about this. I hadn’t known that song prior to this performance and tbh, it didn’t really stand out. I thought it was quite boring tbh…But maybe that’s just me being overly-critical and me not having read the lyrics. I am always having a hard time judging songs that I have only listened to once. I am not able to take in everything the first time. Plus, at that point I was fighting a battle with exhaustion. I had arrived in Japan that morning and didn’t get any sleep on the plane. I kinda wish she would have sung this in Fukuoka too because there I would have been able to appreciate it more. I have basically no memory of it so it’s hard for me to write a proper review. Wakana definitely sounded good but I don’t think it was a very challenging song...or maybe it was? Ughhh, sorry, I fail...

15. oblivious I have never been a big fan of “oblivious” to begin with and this new arrangement doesn’t really do anything to improve my opinion of it. Wakana performed a similar version during her symphony concert, it’s just a bit more up-beat now. They pretty much removed all the “oooohh-ing” parts so Wakana is only singing the verses and chorus. Just at the very end Wakana is doing a bit of “oooh-ing” but she chose to do it with a very thin and breathy voice. Not sure why because she could have definitely sung it with a fuller and more “operatic” voice. Personally I feel like without the operatic style “ooooh-ing” the song isn’t all that special. I guess you will all have to judge for yourself. Those who love “oblivious” might find something to like here too.

MC: Here she talks about time and clocks, pretty much the same thing she has been talking about in many of her interview. Time is the theme of quite a lot of her album tracks, she is generally very fascinated by time.

16.僕の心の時計 | Boku no Kokoro no Tokei A touching performance. One of my favourites actually, didn’t expect to like it so much. Her vocals were lovely here, especially towards the end. Can’t really say anything else about it.

17.時を越える夜に | Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni Unlike most people, I have loved this song from the get-go. I think it’s a beautiful ballad and I could listen to it all day. BUT the band really ruined this performance for me. Okay, maybe “ruined” isn’t the right word, there was still some enjoyment to be found, Wakana’s vocals were on point after all but it just wasn’t what I had hoped for. As I mentioned at the beginning of this report, the bass was super obnoxious during the chorus. It was totally out of place. I hope they can work some studio magic to make it sound better on DVD/BD. Or maybe it was just my personal perception and other people liked it...???

MC: Wakana says that this is the final song of her concert *fake news XD* and thanks everyone for coming.

18.金木犀 | Kinmokusei Ahhhh! A beautiful and solid performance, nothing more to say about it. I was already smitten with the studio version so Wakana didn’t really have to do anything to convince me to fall in love with the live version.

~EN ~ Wakana left the stage and people started doing the usual clapping for an encore. They didn’t do the typical “encore” chanting. The band returned and the pianist started to play with a sort of organ setting. It sounded very epic. Wakana comes on stage wearing her album cover dress. The sleeves were altered slightly, instead of long sleeves she now has the fabric flow freely around her arms. It’s a very good look on her, she literally looks like an angel. She has some accessories in her hair that look a lot like the ones she used for the 10th Anniversary Live.

19.ひかりふる | Hikari Furu I think this performance will be quite polarising. Some will love it, others will hate it. Personally, I really loved it because Wakana sounded great. Yes, Keiko and Hikaru are missed dearly and a couple of their essential lines (e.g. “hikari no naka”) were left out but nonetheless, Wakana did an amazing job (especially during the climax). As I mentioned before, the song starts with some sort of organ-style playing by the piano and Wakana’s angelic singing. As the song progresses the other instruments join in, the arrangement sounds quite dramatic. For some reason I was reminded of Queen’s music (probably because I had just watched the movie Bohemian Rhapsody on the plane). Wakana sings as many of Keiko’s and Hikaru’s lines as possible and she really does them justice. She doesn’t necessarily try to imitate their singing style, her “mabushii asa” for example sounds totally different than Keiko’s. Overall I am very happy that she decided to sing this song, it was definitely one of the highlights of this live. I guess everyone has to decide for themselves whether or not they like this new arrangement.

MC: Here Wakana talks about the final song of her album. During the Tokyo live she explains that this song is very special because it showcases the power of lyrics. The melody is cute and playful but that’s actually quite misleading because the topic of the song is profound and sad. She also mentions that the song was composed by Shusui and another Swedish composer who she had first met more than a decade ago when she was still in her teens.I think she might have only sad that at the Fukuoka live, not sure o.O

20.愛の花 | Ai no Hana Hands down my favourite song of the album and probably my favourite performance of those two nights. I don’t know what it is about this song but I am just so freaking in love with it. I guess it’s just like Wakana said in the MC, the juxtaposition of the sweet melody and the tragic lyrics makes “Ai no Hana” so precious. There are so many emotions combined in this song. Tragedy, sadness, joy and hope, they all come together to create a beautiful song. Wakana sounds like an angel, especially after the second chorus when she does her “ooohhh-ing”. The live version is SO MUCH better than the studio version. Her high notes are gorgeous. The end of the song is also improved quite a bit because it doesn’t end so abruptly after the final chorus. The chorus is repeated a second time (starting from “kōri mo tokasu ai no hana) which adds a lovely climax.

MC: Wakana thanks everyone and once again introduces the band members. One by one they start leaving the stage until only the pianist is left. Wakana says that she wants to sing one final song accompanied by just the piano. The song is written by Satoshi Takebe and it means a lot to her. The past year has been filled with lots of emotions, there has been sadness, pain and joy, she has made so many new experiences, she has worked really hard on writing all these lyrics. Every time she stands on stage she knows it’s all worth it. She was born to sing, she wants to keep on singing, she wants to deliver her songs to an audience. She has put all these feelings into the lyrics of the next song.

21.あとひとつ | Ato Hitotsu So simple and yet so beautiful. I think for most of you who are not really fans of slow ballads the song will be too boring. For me personally, it was love at first listen. The melody of the chorus is still stuck in my head. I wonder if we'll ever get a release for this song. I really hope so! It would go perfectly with “Kimi Dake no Stage” - topic wise I mean. And it would make a lovely B-side. This is just about Wakana declaring her love for singing and performing, about being herself, about treasuring the moment, about following her dreams. I don’t remember everything but the lyrics are so sweet, I honestly couldn’t help but cry.

Final greeting: Wakana walked from side to side saying a few parting words. In Fukuoka she started crying, it was so precious. First she only teared up a little but then she kept talking and the tears were just flowing down her face. She didn’t really say anything special, just the usual stuff (so happy to be back home, to be welcomed so warmy, etc). She can’t wait to be back, there will be many more tours (she made it sound like another tour was already in the making, there was no official announcement though).

[thesinglesjukebox]

TAYLOR SWIFT FT. BRENDON URIE - ME!

[3.53]

Things have changed for "ME!"...

Alex Clifton: A lead single should not make me think, "Oh, is this the Kidz Bop version?" [3]

Abdullah Siddiqui: This isn't the Old Taylor or the New Taylor. It's some entity so devoid of anything remotely substantive it doesn't warrant a human name. And I'm not very familiar with this Brendon Urie, but his delivery of the line "and you can't spell awesome without 'me'" sounds like the sonic embodiment of a Disney XD mid-season replacement choking on its own blue-cotton-candy puerilism. And I know that makes literally no sense but it's honestly the best way I know how to describe it. [2]

Taylor Alatorre: On the one hand, this was designed to subvert as few expectations and step on as few toes as a late 2010s Taylor Swift lead single can. On the other hand, it commits so hard to the bit that it ends up becoming a Lonely Island parody of the kind of post-Glee positivity pop that fueled the Hillary Clinton presidential campaign. Our culture may be more jaundiced since then, but the market for that stuff hasn't gone away, and Swift and Urie deliver the message in a way that feels more true to how people actually consume those songs. Rather than offering the prize of social recognition as a package deal with some nebulous invocation of societal change, they make a beeline for the inner voice of narcissism that resides within the overworked neoliberal subject. They listen to that voice, they give it what it wants, and the result is a communal celebration of self-regard that, in all its candidness and mutual puffery, makes you feel connected to something larger than just another grueling megastar album cycle. Unfortunately, that "something larger" happens to be the same collective unconscious that apparently just wants Panic to be the "High Hopes" band now. [7]

Jessica Doyle: It's catchy, granted, but so insistently, aggressively vapid that I am resisting the obvious conclusion that Taylor Swift actually thinks that this is work to be proud of. It makes more sense as a reconciliation of three opposing forces: she wants to make music; she feels responsible for the multi-hundred-dollar machine she's spent half her life putting in motion; and she dislikes and resents the performer (maybe also the person) she's become. That would explain pairing a catchy song with lyrics such as "can't spell awesome without ME!" and a video whose final shots suggest she is actually made of toxic rainbow sludge. [3]

Katherine St Asaph: A garish mess in exactly the same way "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" was. Yelpy vocals, forced whimsy, obnoxious spoken word, slapdash everything -- well, almost everything. The chorus is the second song in a year to rip off Emeli Sandé's "Next to Me," which really wasn't in need of two ripoffs. The old Taylor can't come to the phone right now, because she's been replaced with the New Boring. Brendon Urie is the best thing about this, though I'd rather listen to three minutes of him singing Vines. [3]

Tobi Tella: Can something be inoffensive enough that it becomes offensive? It's hard to imagine a song this generically pleasant and basic angering people off the heels of some of the Reputation singles, but here we are. It's disappointing to see Taylor put out yet another vapid lead single devoid of any deep themes, but goddamn if this didn't grow on me almost immediately. It's just so much dumb fun, and even though these two people are capable of much more and I'll probably forget about it in a few months I will definitely scream it every time it comes on the radio for now. [6]

Will Adams: The singular badness of Taylor's past three lead singles can all be boiled down to their overblown-ness, whether in song, in video, or in their inevitable absorption into The Discourse. But "ME!" is a special kind of bad, one whose wrongness comes from all directions to create something truly confusing. There's the sonic rehashing of a single from two albums back (also those terrible horns), inert lyrics that offer nothing recognizably Swift, the aesthetic 180 that makes Reputation feel even more pointless and, worst of all, the patronizing kids show affect. It's really hard to figure out what she was trying to do here. Without Max Martin's catchphrases, Shellback's sheen, or even Jack Antonoff's weirdness, we're left with an overblown Train song. Here's hoping, come the album, she keeps her promise that we'll never find another like "ME!". [1]

Jibril Yassin: Taylor Swift loves dispatching red herrings for her forthcoming albums in the form of lead singles. While she couldn't fully commit to the heel turn, Reputation went out of its way to show her songwriting capacities hadn't diminished, but it says a lot that I already want the Right Said Fred-aided Taylor back. "ME!" flows and surges with the pop efficiency she's mastered, but the lyricism resembles a once-sharp camera lens out of focus. Draping herself in the sounds she last used on Reputation, now drenched in major-key sunshine, also feels like a serious misstep when a theatre-kid diva like Brendon Urie decides to show up and completely steal the show. A song like "ME!" calls for high theatrics and powerful vocals and here, Taylor doesn't play to her strengths. [3]

Katie Gill: Taylor Swift was one of the first people to sign on for the movie-musical Cats. I'm not saying this just because that fact brings me joy and happiness every time I remember it, but because you don't agree to be in a show that features tap-dancing beetles, a magic show, and a character called Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat unless you have a healthy appreciation for cheesiness. And this song further proves that Taylor Swift is fully embracing the concept of cheese. Why else would she include lyrics like "hey kids! Spelling is fun!". But three things prevent this song from reaching its full, beautiful, glorious Gouda potential. One: the fact that the chorus seems designed from the ground up to play in a Target commercial. Two: the fact that the lyrics never get past the braggadocio, "I'm so awesome" hubris that tainted a lot of her Reputation-era work. Three: Brendon Urie's existence on the track. [6]

Ryo Miyauchi: Taylor's past fuck-yous to her former guys worked because she didn't leave room for them to speak in the song's narrative or actually in the music itself. Brendon Urie in "ME!" functions as wish fulfillment on top of wish fulfillment, singing the ideal response from the man to go with Taylor's perfect last words. His presence is extra fluff that the track can do without, but he's just one of many campy toppings that sugarcoats the stinging bitterness at the song's core to the point they wash away any taste when consumed. The cliche series of contrasts in the pre-chorus, the Sesame Street bridge, filler rhymes just to get to the next lyric -- all of this lyrical blandness doesn't help prop Taylor up as the underdog to cheer for in this breakup. [4]

Joshua Copperman: Every part of this song sounds like other songs that were successfully upbeat without being too cutesy. "ME!" isn't one of those. Like former contemporary Katy Perry with her "Swish Swish" video, Swift actively tries to be cringey but the attempts at cringe make her cringey. It's like Patrice Wilson's self-conscious follow-ups after "Friday" if he was given a Dave Meyers video budget. Taylor's own friend-by-her-right-ay Brendon Urie helps a little bit, because he's good at hamming it up, but while Taylor has pulled off hamminess in the past ("Blank Space" is one of her most-loved songs for a reason), this doesn't suit her. Even the lines about fighting in the rain feel like perfunctory good lyrics. The rest of the album will probably be fine, as even 1989 led with "Shake It Off." But even that song's bridge didn't have "spelling is fun." [3]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: For a second, right around "spelling is fun," I thought this would ascend, phoenix-like, into glorious schlock. But before and after that incredible interlude, "ME!" is not even the exciting kind of trash. It's content to just be mediocre, occasionally winking at the camera in ways that its authors clearly think is endearing but mostly come off as desperate. It's an emphatic shrug of a song, at once saying nothing and doing so loudly. [1]

Scott Mildenhall: Tonally aimless, it's very hard to deduce the spirit in which this is meant. In its most desperate moment -- yes, "spelling is fun!" -- it doesn't so much tip its hat to the audience as frisbee it into their face, but at the same time it's not so ironic as to be mean-spirited. As a whole, it's like a Wiggles mash-up of "Blank Space" and "We Go Together", and it's hard to know how anyone, whether their intentions were wholesome or cynical, would ever reach that by design. Perhaps this is simply just a spectacular misfire. The thematic mismatches, zero-dexterity crowbarring of aphorisms, desultory brass parps and gossamer-thin hook suggest seriously misplaced ambition. The one time "ME!" seems to be heading in its intended direction is its conclusion, at which it becomes an ever-ascending celebration. By then, though, it's already dug itself a deep hole to fly out of. [5]

Alfred Soto: The first time she's sounded manic and desperate, like someone pleading for her life; she could've titled it "You Must Love Me." [3]

Stephen Eisermann: Remember when everyone said "Look What You Made Me Do" was Taylor's worst lead single and it could never be worse? I do. And guess what? This is worse. [1]

Jonathan Bradley: "ME!" takes as its starting point the belated success of "Delicate," the late-cycle Reputation single that helped remind more than a few listeners and critics that they'd radically misinterpreted that album on its release. It makes sense that Taylor Swift would return to the source of that renewed goodwill, and this new single does sound designed as a rebirth of sorts: it is sunny and outward-looking after an insular and intimate record. It's also unashamedly and jubilantly corny. That should not surprise; Swift has never only been a dextrous chronicler of emotional contours, and corn has been a part of her songwriting toolbox going back at least to the time she wrote a gushing romance starring Romeo and Juliet that ended with a marriage and hefty key change. "ME!" is unabashed in its goofiness, pairing that dorkiness with the frivolity of "Shake It Off," her biggest hit to date. Panic! At the Disco's Brendon Urie fits in well with this theatricality, and Swift helps temper his archness; he's had "High Hopes," but never this much fun. And it's this sense of fun that makes "ME!" so enjoyable. This is a song that sees the strangenesses and imperfections of ourselves and the people around us, and greets them with optimism and -- Reputation hasn't entirely left us -- a bit of wanton selfishness. I've been to plenty of Taylor Swift shows and, as with "Shake It Off" or "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" or "This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things" -- I can already tell how much of a blast of a setlist-capper "ME!" will be. [8]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: "Taylor finger, Taylor finger, where are you?" [1]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[earwaxinggibbous]

Top 10 Best Hit Songs of 2018

As I geared up to make the list of hits for 2018, I was prepared for difficulty, and I wasn’t wrong. Hence why there are a few little cheats here and there. Really anything that even had the potential to be a hit got on this list because the Hot 100 was fucking barren and I figure I’d rather give some exposure to some good artists that didn’t get what they deserved.

I do discuss alcohol/drug use briefly in my number 9 + 6 and abuse in my number 4. Let’s get this shit on the road.

10. Mine - Bazzi

This song is dumb. And I love it.

Mine by Bazzi, who no doubt will not show up on the charts next year, is a song that all of you know even if you think you don’t, because it’s the one with the memes.

You so! Fuckin! Precious! When you! Smiiiiile!

Yeah, it’s that one.

There’s not much to say about this one. It’s a quick and easy listen at only a little over 2 minutes. Bazzi has a nice enough voice, and the production manages to stand on its own. Honestly the reason it’s here is because the lyrics are adorable.

It feels very teenage, but not in the obnoxious way that Lucid Dreams is. It’s just very innocent despite the second line being about hitting it from the back. It’s a kind of innocence I can enjoy mostly unironically.

Like, whatever man. Just enjoy life.

9. Betrayed - Lil Xan

So I wasn’t actually sure when this song charted. I believe it was either late 2017 or early 2018, possibly with some crossover, but I’m counting it because I love this song so much.

Betrayed actually shares a lot of similarities with Juice WRLD’s Lucid Dreams. They were both towards the bottom on each respective list, they both have videos made by Cole Bennet, and they both have a sneaky anti-drug message.

Ironic considering his name is Lil Xan. Also I lied it’s not very sneaky at all. Which is good, if you’re gonna be anti-drug then just fucking do it. The beat is chill, the bars are chill, it’s all super chill. That’s probably in part due to the fact that Lil Xan has a super calming voice. This is weed music. Like Car Seat Headrest. And good weed music can be enjoyed when you’re sober, which Betrayed can be because it just sounds nice.

A good chunk of Betrayed is about the pitfalls of the rap game, and how suddenly everyone turns on you and wants your money, which is kind of neurotic but not entirely inaccurate.

This was actually the plot of a Jay-Z and Justin Timberlake song called Holy Grail from a few years back. And I hate to say it but this song does it way better, because it’s not trying to make fame out to be some horrible demon priestess who’s sucking your soul out of your ass, but rather, more of a lifestyle with very different complications.

Which is what it is.

So Jay-Z got outdone by a 12-year-old with face tats named Lil Xan, and if I heard about that my ego would be deeply, deeply bruised.

The only reason it isn’t higher is because, uh.

Oof, Lil Xan. Come on now.

8. King’s Dead - Jay Rock ft. Kendrick Lamar, Future and James Blake

So a lot of people actually didn’t like this song. Which... I kind of get.

Also apparently this was on the Black Panther soundtrack. I never saw that movie, but a lot of the lyrics on this, at least according to lyric genius, relate to that movie. Which I guess is why I have no clue what it’s about other than the average rap music cliches. The only thing I knew about King’s Dead for god knows how long was this gif of Kendrick eating corn in a palm tree.

I feel like the best argument against this song (other than Future’s high-pitched sampling of Slob On My Knob that made me lose my shit) is that there’s nothing really special about it. I mean yeah, Kendrick has a voice that’s smooth like butter, but King’s Dead has a generic beat and bars that just don’t stand out.

But I don’t know. I just love it.

This is just a nice fun song to chill out to. I can put it on, throw myself into bed, and let the cares of the day shloff off of my body as Kendrick whispers to me in the language of the ancient ones. This is nowhere near his best work, not even remotely close to it. All it is is nice and small and easy to listen to without being completely boring.

Maybe I also just like it because it’s been forever since a rap song really sounded like one. This is partially the fault of Future, who is on this song, and doing the same shit he usually does, but at least the rest of the song sounds like words. It feels like it’s been a whole decade since rap music wasn’t just an autotuned jumble, and while I’m easier on mumble-rap than most, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss good old fashioned regular rap.

Regardless of whether it’s blind nostalgia or some level of actual quality, I enjoy King’s Dead for what it is. It may just be a rock and not a diamond, but it’s my rock and I love it.

7. In My Blood - Shawn Mendes

So like, what the fuck happened with Shawn Mendes? He just kind of got really good all of a sudden. Like when every genre, every artist, every newcomer and every single is shitting the bed, it’s Shawn Mendes of all people to bring it home. That’s like if Charlie Puth turned out to be the savior of music. It’s like if Chingy developed into a rap legend. And this song, In My Blood, is about something we all wanna do! Giving up.

Okay, so that’s not exactly what it’s about. It’s about the feeling of wanting to give up, but refusing to, in a very chronological way. With the verses representing the low points and the chorus representing the swell of energy that forces one to get back on their feet. It’s an incredibly well put-together song where Shawn’s voice is actually put to good use instead of him gargling pus like he did on Treat You Better. I’d be lying if I said he didn’t emote wonderfully on this.

I haven’t heard any of the other singles he’s released around this song, but I’m definitely interested in doing so because In My Blood is an experience, kind of in the same way that like, a really good Panic! at the Disco song is. It just punches you repeatedly. You ever been punched by a song? It feels great. I wish more songs would punch me.

In a lot of ways In My Blood is also nostalgic for me, since it brings me back to an era where I actually got excited about pop music because it was important to me some-fucking-how. And I don’t mean like, I was interested in pop like I am right now. When I was littler my parents basically raised me on old alternative music and jazz, and while I definitely enjoyed it I had literally no idea what other kids at school listened to. The first pop song I remember hearing was Pokerface by Lady GaGa, I was on the school bus, and it sounded like nothing I’d ever heard before. Over time my sister began playing the radio so that her friends at her new school would stop goofing on her for not knowing any pop artists, and hearing all this new music was kind of an experience. Of course after awhile we both moved into individualized tastes and neither of us really listen to the radio unless it’s during the holidays, but hearing In My Blood somehow reminds me of a time when being a hit actually meant something.

It’s a song where you put it on and it just owns the room despite its minimalism, and with tons of easy listening alt-crap hitting the stations nowadays, it’s nice, albeit surreal, to know that Shawn Mendes is the one who gives a shit.

6. Genius - LSD

In case you didn’t know, LSD is the combined efforts of rapper Labrinth, singer Sia and producer Diplo. I hadn’t actually heard of this group until pretty recently, and I wish I had because if you know me, you know about my wretched obsession with Sia. Maybe I’m too forgiving, but I can’t remember a single bad track she’s put out. And Genius is no exception.

Lyrically this song’s a bit lacking, despite the title. But soundwise it sticks like gum, with a layered production. I always say that they should have Sia work with one of these sing-rappers, so having it finally happen is proof that god might be listening to me.

It’s like bubblegum for your brain, it’s sweet, it tastes good, it’s fun and it sticks. Even after only one listen I couldn’t get the tune out of my head. And god knows I just want the charts to be fun for once. No, I don’t think this song charted, which is an absolute shame. LSD should absolutely have the star power to hit the top 100, but I guess this just wasn’t a good year for them.

Regardless, I have heard that LSD plans to do a full project, and after listening to the rest of their short album I am more than excited. The only reason this isn’t higher up is that, judging by the group name I was expecting it to be way more of an acid trip soundwise. It’s definitely hard to compare LSD’s Genius to any other type of pop in recent years, but I feel like that’s moreso because Diplo and company have taken all sorts of elements from all sorts of pop music and sneakily fused them together.

Regardless, Genius is a highly enjoyable listen. Sia’s at top performance as per usual, Labrinth sounds really nice beside her and Diplo’s production is solid. Also I seriously recommend the music video. It’s super weird. I wish animated music videos were more common with pop, to be honest.

5. Better Now - Post Malone

I almost feel like I’ve sinned putting a Post Malone song above a Kendrick Lamar song, but god do I love Better Now.

The Post Malone conversation is still very much underway, with a lot of people saying they hated Psycho because it was boring (which I can get even though I don’t agree) and that they hated Jackie Chan because it was just really really stupid. But, much like Candy Paint, I have yet to hear anyone say they dislike Better Now. And I do honestly believe that he hit it out of the park on this one.

This one’s sort of the reverse of Genius. It has pretty basic trap production, but really nice lyrics. Possibly building on the story from I Fall Apart, though with a slightly more mature outlook, Post talks about an ex-girlfriend who he misses, trying to drown his feelings in alcohol, drugs and expensive stuff in the wake of the relationship.

A total bummer, but Post sells it pretty well.

Like damn. That’s a detail right there.

I mean, I could argue that nobody has a specific drawer for socks they don’t like, but who cares really.

Anyway, unlike I Fall Apart, which was a turn-off for a lot of people because it felt spiteful and juvenile, Better Now doesn’t really place the blame on Post or his ex, which is a much more realistic scenario. Because really, his ex isn’t at fault for no longer being in love with him, but Post isn’t at fault for pining. He’s only human. Judging by the lyrics, the story is that Post was dumped for being a druggie in this song.

Though Lyric Genius also argues this is a reference to the death of Lil Peep, who was close personal friends with Post Malone in real life. If this song is somehow in a weird roundabout way an ode to Lil Peep, honestly it does feel like it’s a good send-up to him from another rapper. Like yeah, a love song might seem weird as a tribute to a dead friend, but it definitely does feel like a mournful, sad song about longing for a close person who’s gone for the long run.

Whether this is a tribute to Lil Peep or just a breakup song, it definitely carries the weight of the emotions, partly since Post just generally sounds sad all the time. And in a year full of pissy break-up songs, this is the one that hits home more than any other for me. If Post is going off of past experience, it shows, and if he isn’t he’s just a really good actor I guess.

4. Freaky Friday - Lil Dicky ft. Chris Brown

This song is the bane of my fucking existence.

Why do I laugh at this? Why do I laugh at jokes about Lil Dicky having a small penis still? Why am I losing my shit at the idea that a white guy in a black guy’s body would immediately wonder if he can say the n-word? Why am I, a grown man with presumably mature tastes, going ‘hee hee hoo hoo’ over the phrase “I’m DJ Khaled! Why am I yelling?” And why the fuck, in the year 2018, am I actively enjoying a Chris Brown song?

Lil Dicky I have a soft spot for. We’re both Jews, we’re both stupid, we both look dead inside in every photograph taken of us. We’re basically like long lost twin brothers. Plus I do think he’s a skilled rapper, with his greatest track easily being Professional Rapper featuring Snoop Dogg, and if it had been my choice, that song would’ve been his first big hit. But no, it had to be Freaky Friday. A song that, for all accounts and purposes, is about as funny as an early Your Favorite Martian song, and yet still makes me roll into a screaming fit laughing my ass off.

I’m not gonna sit here and pretend I’m over the Chris Brown drama just because there’s plenty of worse artists charting right now. Forgetting it would be an offense to everyone involved. Do I think he’s probably matured since? Maybe. But that doesn’t excuse or explain away what he did. But for me to pretend I don’t enjoy this song would be disingenuous, and it breaks my heart to actually enjoy a Chris Brown song. In 20-fucking-18.

Everyone hates this song. And they’re valid, honestly. I just like the chorus, maybe? I don’t know. It’s hardly Lil Dicky’s best work, but fuck me. Of course I had to be the one suffering with the curse of enjoying Lil Dicky’s Freaky Friday to the point that I put it above a ton of songs that are probably objectively better, all because I laugh at dick jokes and love a catchy chorus.

But I will give it credit, this is the first popular comedy song in a long time I’ve been able to get down to. Selfie and What Does The Fox Say made me wanna scoop my eyes out with a melon baller, but of course the fucking Chris Brown comedy song makes me shriek in body-wracking laughter as if I’ve never heard a joke before.

It’s been at LEAST a year since I felt this shitty for enjoying a song, but that’s life I guess. Just enjoying bad music by bad people for bad reasons.

3. High Hopes - Panic! at the Disco

How is it that we’re having a Panic! at the Disco hit in 2018? Whatever, I’m not mad.

I mean, come on. A swelling Brendon Urie anthem about finally being able to achieve your dreams and shit? That’s really all I need on a bad day, isn’t it. Thanks 2018.

I don’t even remember if this song has good production or not. It’s really loud. Everything is loud. Do you think I care if it sounds good? I mean, Brendon sounds good, but like. Biz Markie’s Just A Friend fills me with emotion and it sounds like it’s being sung by a donkey. My standards are not high. Maybe I’d need higher standards to not like this song.

Frankly, I don’t care if the production is bad. Because this song is just good mood music, and I like that it’s loud. I want Brendon to scream in my ear about having high hopes. Do you think I care how it sounds?

No but really. It’s a perfectly well-built song, Brendon performs well on it. Bless this shit though. If there’s anything that represents hope in my mind, it’s Brendon Urie skittering up the side of a building while singing about having high hopes and his mama and whatever whatever. In a year full of dour break-up songs and people dying and abusers getting famous, all you can really have is high hopes. And that’s all there is to it.

2. Neva Lavd Yah! - Dusty Ray Bottoms

Can we all agree RuPaul’s Drag Race is kind of a hack show at this point? I mean, Season 10 was a disaster and so far AS4 has been a disaster too. I’m not even sure why I still watch it at this point.

Anyway, this is kind of a cheat. Neva Lavd Yah! charted on Billboard LGBT, and actually charted pretty high. Not the actual Hot 100, but do you think I care anymore?

So we’re all mad that rock music is dead, and that the only remnants we have of it is Imagine Dragons and other similar garbage. But don’t fret (unless it’s on a guitar) because Dusty Ray Bottoms, queen of my heart, is here to solve that problem. Full electric guitar and drums. No autotune. Just pure Dusty Ray on the track here to kick ass.

I guess Neva Lavd Yah! is a generic “fuck the haters” anthem, but for once I actually believe it. Maybe it’s because it’s being sung by a 50-foot-tall gay man with dots all over his face. Maybe it’s just because, with every drag queen doing techno music, Dusty Ray has done something completely different. God knows I was sick of every drag queen doing overproduced electronica about nothing at all.

Neva Lavd Yah! isn’t polished or clean. It’s screaming and loud and full of passion. Sometimes you’re just a 50-foot gay who wants to yell, sometimes you’re a 5-foot gay who wants to yell. Maybe you don’t feel like yelling right now, but you’ve probably been in that mood before. Neva Lavd Yah! is for when you wanna chill in a garage with an electric guitar and write songs and then scream with your shitty garage band and it’s the 90′s and you’re gay.

Damn right.

And before we move forward,

let’s hit those honorable mentions.

I Like It - Cardi B ft. Bad Bunny and J Balvin

This song really did almost get on the list, and I mean it was like a baby dick’s length away. I almost feel bad that I let Mine on instead. Cardi I am so sorry.

Nice For What - Drake

This was the only good song Drake released this year, and while Drake talking about “strong women” on the same album as I’m Upset seems like bullshit, I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t at least kind of a banger.

Now or Never - Blair St. Clair

This was the only other big drag queen hit I remember this year. It was released in the wake of Blair St. Clair coming out about a sexual assault, and while I do think it’s an empowering song, I don’t like the way it sounds that much.

Pray For Me - The Weeknd ft. Kendrick Lamar

How I liked King’s Dead more than this I can’t even explain to you. The beat on Pray For Me rocks my tight ass though. Plus let’s be honest, The Weeknd and Kendrick are a fucking dream team.

I Love It - Kanye West ft. Lil Pump

I can’t hate this. Fucking look at it. They’re in roblox costumes!

Famous Prophets (Stars) - Car Seat Headrest

Not a hit, which is the only thing that kept it off of here. Consider Song of the Summer by Remo Drive, Humanity by Gorillaz and When You Die by MGMT also in this spot.

On to number one, and if you know me you probably know it already.

1. Kamikaze - Eminem

Listen. I don’t care if this didn’t chart. I don’t care if it didn’t get close. I don’t give two fifths of a fuck if Eminem isn’t as good as he used to be. I don’t give a single rat’s ass.

Because I fucking love Kamikaze.

(The song.)

The album was fine, I wasn’t huge on the whole “call out everyone” angle it took. Sure sometimes it landed, but other times, like with the Tyler the Creator diss, it was completely pointless and kind of petty.

But the title song? It bangs.

The lyrics are good, obviously, it’s an Eminem song and he hasn’t been struggling with lyrics since... Revival I guess. The production on Kamikaze is interesting, the chorus is catchy. I just love it. It puts me in a good mood for reasons I cannot explain using words of the English language.

Maybe I just love Eminem too much. But in a year of stolid depression like 2018, all I wanted was for my favorite rapper Eminem to say “fuck” and yell a lot and just be kind of motivational in his weird way. And he did it. And I understand if people don’t enjoy Kamikaze (the song or the album) but I just can’t not love it, it makes me so excited every time I hear that intro. I feel like a child almost.

I saw Eminem live for the first time this year at Governor’s Ball. It was an experience. My feet were killing me because to get good spots, my sister and I had to sit through Chvrches. (Didn’t like them very much.) It was loud and crowded. It started raining, I was cold as shit and tired and this enormous drunk guy in a wifebeater nearly elbowed my head clean off of my shoulders just due to a lack of spacial awareness. And I didn’t even give a shit until it was over.

The music ended, and I realized I was freezing my ass off. And that’s what good music does to a guy I guess. And being able to download a new, really good Eminem song was like capturing that moment in a bottle. A bottle of white boy spite, but a good bottle nonetheless.

Of course I’m biased. God knows if this song is actually better than something like In My Blood or Genius, but I love this song too much to put it any lower than number one.

Whenever I need motivation or I’m just really pissed, this song is here for me to listen to, so I can lose my shit by the side of a man who I’ve literally begun referring to as my dad at this point. And that’s just what I want. A song that I can feel next to. A song that can feel with me. And as good as some of these other songs are, I don’t feel with them like I do with Kamikaze.

See you next year, I guess.

[thisaintascenereviews]

Neck Deep - All Distortions Are Intentional In the world of pop-punk, at least modern pop-punk, there have been a few different “waves,” so to speak, and I think we’re in the midst of the “third wave.” The first wave was what I would consider to be the OGs, including Yellowcard, New Found Glory, Blink-182, Jimmy Eat World, The Movielife, Fall Out Boy, The Academy Is, and many more bands from the late 90s and early 00s (there were other punk bands from the 70s and 80s that kind of bled into proto-pop-punk territories, but I’m talking about the modern wave of these bands). I was pretty young when the first wave of modern pop-punk bands came up, but I was there for the second wave, which I’d classify bands like Broadside, Real Friends, State Champs, The Story So Far, and the subject of today’s review, Neck Deep. The third wave is what’s happening now, and I would consider that to be the resurgence that’s happening in the mainstream, including Demi Lovato’s new record, the new MGK stuff, Huddy, Jxdn, the new Avril Lavigne, and all of that stuff that’s really, really popular for whatever reason. Whether it’s good is another story, but it’s interesting how pop-punk is making a comeback, especially when I remember the mid-00s and early 2010s when it really blew up in the underground. There was a period where Tumblr, pizza, flannel, snapbacks, and the phrase “defend pop-punk” ruled the alternative scene. One of the bands at the forefront of that scene was the British band Neck Deep. In fact, their debut EP, Rain In July, just turned ten years old this year, and it’s crazy that it came out a decade ago. My feelings on Neck Deep are kind of complicated, because I’ve gone from really loving them to disliking them to enjoying them again. I was one of those cliche “pop-punk kids” in the early 2010s, and I really enjoyed their first EP, but I didn’t like their debut very much, probably because I was just getting out of that phase of my music fandom when their debut came out a couple of years later, but I ended up getting back into them a bit when their second album, 2015′s Life’s Not Out To Get You, came out. I also really liked 2017′s The Peace And The Panic, as they went more into this pop-rock / alt-rock direction, but I never listened to their most recent record, 2020′s All Distortions Are Intentional. I mentioned why in my review of the last Four Year Strong album, 2020′s Brain Pain, as I just didn’t listen to a lot of new albums that year, so this album went under my radar for the last couple of years. I’ve been on a bit of a pop-punk kick, so I thought I’d finally check it out, just to see what I’ve been missing. These guys are one of the biggest bands in the scene from the last decade, including the likes of State Champs and The Story So Far (their last records are easily among their best; the new State Champs album is one of my favorites of the year, and I’ve just listened to the last The Story So Far album, and it’s surprisingly great), so how does this album hold up compared to their prior work? All Distortions Are Intentional is a really good album, especially when you compare it to their earlier material, but it’s not exactly perfect. That’s not to say there isn’t a lot to like, because there sure is. For starters, this is the catchiest and slickest this band has ever sounded, because they lean very much into a mainstream-friendly sound. The instrumentation on this thing is fantastic. A lot of these songs are utterly catchy, and the instrumentation rides the line between pop-rock and pop-punk. They lean on the “poppier” side of pop-punk, which I tend to like, and this album is no exception to that. The instrumentation is incredibly solid, but that leads me to one of my biggest issues with this record -- this album is catchy, slick, and a lot of fun, but it’s honestly kind of bland in a lot of spots, too, especially in regards to its hooks. I really enjoyed the first time I heard it, and every subsequent time I played it, I wasn’t as crazy about it, because there just wasn’t as much to make me come back to it as I originally thought. Not that there’s anything outright bad here, but its sound is a bit bland and not as interesting when you compare this record to the new State Champs album, for example. Yeah, sure, Kings Of The New Age is pretty bland, too, but the hooks are incredible, the vocals are great, the lyrics are solid for what they are, and it just comes together in the perfect way, whereas this record is catchy, fun, and slickly produced, but the hooks aren’t really that memorable, minus a few songs. The hooks are fine, but they don’t come close to other bands in the scene. Maybe that’s partially because vocalist Ben Barlow has a voice that can get really annoying, especially if you’re not in the mood for it. His voice is good, especially for the harder-edged pop-punk sound, but when it comes to the catchier alt-rock / pop-rock, his voice doesn’t always work as well. He doesn’t have much of a vocal range, even though his voice isn’t necessarily bad on its own. I think that’s the brunt of why this album isn’t as great as it should be, even with the catchier and more pop-friendly sound. It’s still a good album, especially when you look at its sound and when you look at the lyrics, which are that of a concept album about two characters named Jett and Alice in a place called Sonderland (the track of the same name which opens up the album, sort of explaining the concept). The concept is pretty interesting, although there’s no sense of story or cohesion within the lyrics. I like the lyrics on this album, don’t get me wrong, but there’s nothing that suggests that this record has a concept to it. Overall, I think All Distortions Are Intentional is a good album, even if it’s not necessarily a great one. Barlow still sounds good on here, even if his voice doesn’t completely suit this kind of pop-rock / pop-punk, but the real star of the album is its sound. I really enjoy its catchier and more pop-rock-leaning sound, and that’s easily the best part of it, but I’d like to see the band move in this sound even further. Hopefully Barlow can make his voice work with this sound even more, because this sound is really good, even if it doesn’t quite rival some of the other biggest bands in the genre, but it still works pretty well for what it is. There’s nothing outright bad here, it just pales in comparison, mainly for Barlow’s vocals not being up to par with other vocalists that do this same style, but I’m glad that I heard this finally. I can’t say I’ve been going back to it much, but I still kind of enjoy it.