#it takes itself so seriously and its explanations are silly as shit

[quadrantadvisor]

Normally I'm more into human -> mutant rat Splinter than rat -> mutant rat Splinter, because it makes more sense to me for this stoic Ninja master to have been human around some point than some rat who knew ninjitsu. The direction Mutant Mayhem took with him was so good, though. Like, he actually felt like a rat who became a single father. Them taking up martial arts to protect themselves (from training videos) works PERFECTLY in the cartoon logic of the world. Nothing takes itself too seriously but nothing is so weird as to break immersion. Wow this movie is good.

[theflyingkipper]

hello there! i was curios as to whether or not you’ve seen the fan series Stories of Sodor? and if so may i ask your opinion on it. BTW i love your blog!

I have seen Stories of Sodor! (If you're talking about the series by Victor Tanzig.)

I haven't watched it in a long time, as there are other series I ended up becoming more invested in. The last one I saw was Return.

While I do like his more mature take on the characters and very detailed worldbuilding, some of it takes itself a little too seriously, The Stories of War I think is what best demonstrates this. When you work with talking trains, you have to remember that you work with talking trains and they look silly. Sometimes I felt like the engines' squabbles were a bit too human and out of the way for something a steam engine would be concerned with- the romance in particular really doesn't feel like a conversation a bunch of rail vehicles would be having (to say nothing of gender.) Also I disagree very hard on how Tanzig characterizes Gordon. He kind of erased a lot of Gordon's flaws, instead of embracing them.

dont talk to me about the sodor shorts man. just dont

Anyway I mostly want to talk about the things I think the Stories of Sodor does very well. I like the very objective explanation of why vehicles are sentient and have faces, I feel like someone who's super creeped out by the characters' faces and The Implications would enjoy how the series handles this. At the same time, it also leans into the fact that there are disturbing implications and amps them up. Not in a shock-value way, but to deliver an emotional punch. And holy shit the series can destroy you emotionally. This is your warning if you want to go watch it: Tanzig knows how to do character death.

Another thing I have to commend is Tanzig's consistency. He just keeps chugging forward and is very dedicated to his content.

Overall, I think its a worthwhile watch. For anyone about to pick it up: do keep in mind that its definitely made for the wider dudebro cis-man TTTE community and boy does it make me roll my eyes sometimes because of that.

I'm glad you like my blog, too! Have a good day/night and I hope lots of people in ttteblr check out thomas fan series, I think they're a really important part of the ecosystem of this fandom

[idsb]

Ok what podcast I need a good one to listen to! And I agree. I’m a big fan of the most likely explanation is the more boring one. She’s fine, they’re just incompetent

it's called the H3 podcast! Here's a link to the Royal Family part, although overall idk if this is a great episode to start with so I'd just watch the Royal Family deep dive part and then go with a different one after that jkhdsfg.

Really highly recommend it though; it's a good combo of talking about pop culture / the news, just kind of being silly, & recurring guests on the show (they're currently re-creating a season of The Bachelor with Jeff Whitteck of um. almost murdered by David Doberick fame, & used to have a weekly episode co-hosted with Trisha Paytas, for example). I like it because it's a good way to intake commentary on hot topic current events kinda shit in a thing that doesn't take itself too seriously and it has its own like ~*~*plotlines*~* in there too

[atths--twice]

Hello everyone! I hope you’re all doing well, happy and safe. I have a new story to help out with our time spent in quarantine. Hope you all enjoy it. ❤️🦊

Sleeping Comfortably

Mulder shook his head as he left the manager's office intent on heading to Scully’s room. This place was by far the creepiest one they had stayed in, what with its Scooby-Doo back rooms and trick doors.

God only knows if that man was watching Scully earlier, and if so, for how long. He shook his head again as he stepped up to her door and knocked, waiting for her to answer. When she did not, he knocked again, louder this time, and pressed his ear to the door.

He heard her moving around and a second later, before he had a chance to move, the door was pulled open and he stumbled forward slightly, catching himself on the doorframe.

“Jesus Christ, Mulder,” she muttered and shook her head, stepping back to let him inside. “You scared the shit out of me.” She closed the door with a sigh as he turned around and the words he was going to say died in his throat.

She was standing in front of him, her arms crossed and eyebrows up, wearing one of his old shirts.

And nothing else.

No pajama bottoms. No socks.

He slowly looked her up and down and she cleared her throat. His eyes traveled back to her face and he saw a smile twitching at her lips.

“Did you need something? Is there a reason you are knocking at my door at this late hour?”

“Yeeeah. Um… the manager… he was screaming about a monster-”

“A monster?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” she said with a heavy sigh, “Let me hear it. But wait, please. Let me get more comfortable.” She walked past him, mumbling about monsters not being real.

He watched her, his shirt covering her to mid-thigh, her legs appearing nearly golden in the light of the room. Watching her wearing his shirt, called up the nights when she wore other shirts of his to bed.

She would smile as she walked to bed and when he would run his hand up her smooth leg and push his shirt up her body, he would discover the reason for her smile- she would be wearing the shirt with nothing underneath.

Swallowing hard, he knew it would not be that way now, but the fact that she was wearing his shirt, on a case no less, made him wonder many things. She must have taken it when she left obviously, but bringing it with her when she usually wore silky pajama sets, made his mind race.

“Okay,” she said, sitting down and adjusting the shirt. Taking a deep breath, she smiled at him and clasped her hands in her lap. “I’m ready, let’s hear it.”

“I was sleeping, having come back here at your request,” he began, and she gave him one of her best Scully stares. He grinned and cleared his throat. “When I was suddenly awoken by someone screaming about a monster…”

“Mulder…”

“He saw it. A monster… the creature. I mean the manager saw a monster.”

“Mulder…”

“Scully, just…” he said, putting up his hand and walking over to the table to pick up the case file. Looking at the papers held within, he nodded his head with a knowing smile. “I’ve hesitated to call it a “monster” as you may remember.”

“I believe you said it was a “man-sized horned lizard with human teeth,” she said, in a mocking tone as she used air quotes to emphasize her point.

He stared at her and shook his head as she tried not to smile. “And you thought that was silly.”

“You said it, Mulder, I didn’t. But… come on. It is a bit silly. A lizard man?”

“Yes! It sounds silly, I know. But…”

“But what?”

“It's a monster, Scully, plain and simple,” he said, tossing the case file down on the end of her bed.

“And not just your everyday, run-of-the-mill monster, but we're talking transformation here. Man into monster and back again. To which I know you're going to say,"But Mulder, that only happens in werewolf myths that were originally concocted to explain away the violent behavior of people who'd been bitten by rabid animals, before the medical discovery of rabies." But is it so outlandish to believe that some legends are based on actual occurrences and not just ignorance?”

He saw her attempting to say something, but knew what she would say, so he cut her off, continuing with his explanation.

“To which I know what you're going to say, Scully, you're going to say, "But Mulder, it defies every known law of science and nature." Exactly, Scully, every known law. What if this creature that we've stumbled upon is here to create a whole new paradigm for our understanding of life itself? Or maybe science was used to create this "unnatural" being. Maybe this is some GMO experiment run amok by some military-agro-big-pharma corporation. Maybe this guy is its chief geneticist, who recklessly experimented on himself and now transforms into a fiend who needs to feast on human flesh. To which I know you're going to say, "But Mulder, that sounds like the paranoid ravings of some lunatic madman." I don't know what this thing is, Scully, and I don't know exactly how it came to be, I just... All I'm saying is, it's a monster.”

He watched her nod slowly, smiling as she scrunched her chin. “Yeah, this is how I like my Mulder.”

“So you're agreeing with me?”

“No! You're bat-crap crazy!”

He looked at her in surprise, touching the file on the bed. “But what about the facts?”

“What facts?”

“This guy, who the manager just saw turn into a monster,” he said, stepping closer, and handing her his phone to show her the photo he took earlier, as he picked up the case file. “He was wearing the clothes of one of our victims, which we did not notice at the time, because we thought we were looking for an animal. Turns out we were only half right.”

“Yeah, okay. Well, we need to talk to this guy.”

“Well, I doubt he's coming back to his room,” he informed her, taking the bottle of pills out of his pocket and showing them to her. “I did retrieve some personal items from it, though, that might help us track him down.”

“Well, that sounds like a good investigative plan,” she said, in a somewhat pacifying tone, which he chose to ignore.

“The first thing we need to do, though,” he said, looking at the fox head hanging on the wall. “Check out of this motel.”

“What? And leave this room full of such beautifully stuffed dead animals? Why would we do that, Mulder?” she asked, closing the file, and turning off his phone, as she waved her hand above her head. She rolled her eyes and stared at him.

“As much as they are… truly terrifying, trust me, Scully, we need to go,” he said, putting the medication back in his pocket and coming to move the file and take back his phone. He raised his eyebrows and nodded.

“Seriously? Why?”

“Let’s just say, the manager has his eye on us,” he said, walking over to the fox head and taking it down, showing her the large hole on the wall.

“What the fuck?” she said, as she scrambled off the bed, and came to stand beside him.

“You think that’s bad? Watch this.” He handed her the fox head and grasped the cut out hole, giving it a sharp tug. The wall opened, as he knew it would, and she gasped.

He looked at her and nodded as she stepped forward into the padded hallway. Closing the wall, he told her to stand on the stool that was sitting there. With a loud sigh, she did and he saw her head appear where the fox had been hanging.

“Goddamn,” she said and shook her head.

“Yeah,” he answered and pulled the wall open again, to find her looking up and down the passageway.

“What kind of creepy ass Scooby-Doo shit it this, Mulder?” she asked, shaking her head.

He smiled and reached a hand out to take the fox head back from her. She stepped down and shook her head again as she looked around, before looking back at him.

“We need to call this in, this is not okay.”

“Yeah, I know. We will.”

“How did you know that was there?”

“Because, I saw a head similar to this in the room of… Guy Mann,” he said, looking at the prescription bottle again. “Well, that’s a ridiculous name… But anyway, I saw that and the large hole on the wall. Checking it out, I found the passageway of horrors and then…” He looked at her and she raised her eyebrows.

“And then what?”

“Well…” he said, gesturing toward the hole in the wall and the fox head in his hand.

“You were watching me?” she asked, trying not to smile.

“What? I wasn’t watching you, nor did I know what I would find when I stepped up on that stool and looked through the holes.”

She nodded but had a disbelieving look on her face. He shook his head at her as she stepped into the room and he closed the wall. He hung the fox head back up and turned to look at her.

“You know, Mulder… it’s kind of pervy to spy on people.”

“First of all,” he said, sliding the bottle of pills in his pocket. “I wasn’t spying on you, as I already stated, since I didn’t know what I would find when I looked through those foxes eyes.”

“Which foxes eyes? His?” she asked, nodding to the fox head. “Or yours?” She tried not to smile, but he saw her lips curling up and he shook his head with a laugh at her corny joke.

“Aww, Scully,” he laughed and she shrugged with a big smile. “Both, I suppose.”

“Mmm-hmm,” she nodded and he smiled.

“Anyway, you were only sleeping. So, it wasn’t like I saw anything.” She stared at him and he raised his eyebrows, keeping his comment about having seen it all before to himself. “So… we… we should get out of here. Away from those creepy fox eyes.” He nodded and she nodded back as he walked over to the door.

“Again, I feel I should ask, which foxes eyes?” she asked, and he turned around to find her smirking at him. He tilted his head as she shrugged and rolled her eyes with a smile.

“You were just sleeping,” he told her again and she hummed. He laughed and reached for the doorknob, feeling brave and taking a chance. “And even if you weren’t, it’s not as though these fox eyes haven’t seen it all before.” He stared at her, worried he may have pushed too far, their reconnection still new and somewhat fragile.

“Touché,” she said quietly with a smile, and he grinned as he opened the door.

“Be back in fifteen minutes,” he said and she nodded.

When the agreed upon time was up, he knocked on her door and she was waiting for him, her jacket on over her shirt, or his shirt, to be more precise. He said nothing, but it made him smile.

He checked them out of their rooms, the manager still rattled and not paying him much attention. Mulder shook his head as he walked out, his eyes on the huge stuffed bear, ready to call the police about this perverted place once they were well away from it.

They drove to a new motel, one closer to town and decidedly not as sketchy. He glanced at Scully and she nodded with a shrug. They got out and booked two rooms, walking to them tiredly, their bags in hand.

Standing at their doors, he looked over at her and she sighed.

“Goodnight, Mulder. Or what’s left of it,” she said with a small smile.

“Hey, at least you won’t have any creepy eyes watching you anymore,” he shrugged and she nodded, her eyes traveling up and down his body. She opened her door and looked at him once more.

“Well, see you in the morning.”

“Yeah. Sleep tight.”

She put a hand to the collar of his shirt and rubbed it between her fingers, an almost secretive smile on her face.

“Oh, I will. Good night,” she said quietly, and stepped into her room, closing the door behind her.

He grinned as he opened his own door, stepped inside, and closed it. He turned on the light and set his bag down, as he took off his shoes and jacket. Pulling the covers back, he fell into the bed. He rolled over as he imagined Scully on the other side of the wall, doing the same thing.

He hoped she would be able to get some rest, for a little bit anyway, content and cozy in one of his old shirts, without dreams of lizard men or fox eyes watching her.

Unwanted fox eyes at least.

[skaianet]

SO WHAT THE FUCK WAS THIS SHIT, aka the author’s afterword

So many of you are wondering was this thing official or what. Consider this the Official Unofficial Explanation of Skaianet Systems CON AIR 2: THE EPILOGUE plotline and the ARG hidden in it. Let’s go through few of the hottest questions I’ve seen around the past few weeks.

Q: Is this official?

A: This is neither official or canon.

Q: Is it over?

A: Yes.

Q: Can I go now? I’m afraid of those huge paragraphs below.

A: Of course. Go free. Don’t look back. It’s what Nick did.

Q: Who the fuck made this?

A: Just me. By myself. There was no team. Oh yeah. I’m Ymi (blog here). You may know me for making this 2nd runner up to the Official Hiveswap Comics Contest. Alternatively/additionally you may know me from some of these wacky fanadventures. Or maybe you don’t know me at all. Understandable. Statistically accurate.

Q: AN ARG???

A: Hell yeah. There’s a hidden code at the top of most of the images prior to Cyborg Malkovich: Strife, and plainly visible on Interview: Steve Buscemi #4 and the SBaHJ on this post. The code would lead the cool, smart gamers to a Youtube videom which in turn would take them to a Discord server, etc. etc. It all culminated to a majestic reveal which may be utter horseshit. Only time will tell.

Q: What the fuck did I just watch.

A: Some dope shit my dudes. If you didn’t read the posts on this blog you didn’t understand how undeniably earthshattering its twists were. It’d be in the fucking Louvre if those old farts would understand anything about REAL ART.

Oh yeah, I should probably tag these posts to make browsing easier. Huh. I’ll do  that tomorrow but this should suffice for now: https://skaianet.tumblr.com/tagged/Homestuck/chrono 

If you’re reading this tomorrow https://skaianet.tumblr.com/tagged/CON-AIR-2/chrono is the proper tag. If you aren’t… well too bad. I guess tomorrow’s you is a luckier you.

Q: But why?

A: Excellent question! I don’t exactly know why! This all began from a vivid image of a Nick Cage in his godtier costume sitting on the Jailbreak stump that was projected to my mind without any god fucking warning. I made that image a reality, and added a silly post to it and whipped up an ARG in an hour for a “simple” jape. In somehow very Homestuck fashion it kinda snowballed from there, and as people’s expectations grew, I felt I had to match them. Well, look where this got.

On a bigger scale, ever since the Skaianet stuff in January I’ve wanted something more. Skaianet thing was absurd and mysterious, but ultimately fell flat. The controversy happened, ARG turned out to be nonexistent. It was a disappointment. I wanted to do the same but succeed in it instead. I think I did a fairly good job, although I had nothing official to offer. “Hype” itself was what I wanted to offer, y’know, the Homestuck™ feel?

That was always the plan. To give you a fan-boner. And you got one.

Q: Seriously you made that conksunk ARG in an hour?

A: Explains a lot, huh? N = V is real? Typos are meaningful? 2, 5, 6, 7, 11? Wack.

Those were ARG references I just listed. Filthy normies won’t understand. ONELY THE ALHPA GENIOUNSES WILL GET WHAT REFRANK.

Q: The animation… huh. Sure was something.

A: Yep. I started making it April 1st, and finished it like an hour before the premiere. The art wasn’t that great and some of the animation was really flawed. I know that. But it was the best I could do with this time. Sure it could’ve been shorter but I wanted the memes. All of them. Nothing else could sate my desire for Big Funny.

Q: LMAO it was so Naruto/some other anime I haven’t ever watched.

A: Okay.

Q: It had a lot of filler! Very bad!

A: Yeah folks I’m sorry to admit you’re right. All I can offer you is the fact I wanted to reach the meme number of 14:13, and had to work with the pacing of the songs. I’d give you a cookie for your smart thinking too but I already ate it.

Holy fuck that was a lot of cookies, and holy shit this was a pointless joke. But I felt like making it. Just like this whole Skaianet deal.

Q: You’re a big dumb and the flash SUCKS ASS.

A: Maybe. but my dude. if its busy suckin ass. then it has to be you that inhales this ginourmous

Q: Holy shit this was awesome!

A: Thank you! I really appreciate every nice comment I’ve seen! I’d reply to all of them but the love is too overwhelming. The real Epilogue truly was the friends we made along the way.

Speaking of liking my content, I will take this moment in spotlight to shill my works before this blog resumes its usual content, which is either relentless original Homestuck shitposting, or dead silence.

If you enjoyed my writing in this story, consider checking out SoulSplit. If this CON AIR 2 thing was me playing with Homestuck’s rules, SoulSplit is the systematical destruction of Homestuck from top to bottom. It was trolls and will later some familiar faces from HS itself.

SOULSPLIT: https://mspfa.com/?s=24530&p=1

A Chance Meeting is part of the prologue to SoulSplit, so if you read it you’ll just read both.

If you liked my bullshit, then you’ll love An Evvreyday Strugle. It’s SBaHJ but with trolls. It’s true popetry.

It’s also part of the prologue to SoulSplit. Everything seems to be. Maybe this CON AIR 2 shit was as well??? Anyway it still is a cool thing on its own.

AN EVVREYDAY STRUGLE: https://mspfa.com/?s=23542&p=1

Also, I have a SoulSplit Discord Server, which will “soon” be rebranded as the general Discord for all of my works and general stuff. I’m working on a mysterious game, and said server will be receiving art, writing and/or demos at some point. Hop on in there if you’re interested.

DISCORD SERVER: https://discord.gg/QUHuNuz

Alright this is already 24 paragraphs too long. I’m out.

[todays-jeremy-heere]

Recap Post

So I’ve had a couple requests for what the fuck has happened so far from newer people to our dandy set of blogs, here it is! Keep in mind this is all mostly improv so if it’s a bit all over the place then oops lol rip. (Older people and other today blogs, feel free to yell at me if I miss anything.) 

NOW INCLUDING LINKS TO CERTAIN IMPORTANT THREADS

The three not main characters in the bmc group are:

Madeline, Thalia (George’s character from Smartphone Hour), and Dustin Kropp

Let’s start at the beginning, a very good place to start :)

So the first activity of these blogs is nothing special, just silly conversations, teasing each other, and because no one is together yet, flirting. But eventually, people pair up so those people are...

Brooke x Rich, Michael x Jake and Dustin x Jeremy

Thalia asks Jeremy and Mr Heere if she can move into their house because she has an abusive father she wants to get away from, they say yes and now she lives with them. Sometime after this Thalia pairs up with Madeline. 

Jake and Chloe keep having childish arguments because they are both still salty about thier past relationships. Jake brings up how Chloe sexually assaulted Jeremy at the Halloween party last year. Tension happens between Chloe and Jeremy where they both think the other hates them.

After a bit Thalia and Madeline break up, this causes Thalia to spiral and she gets a Squip. She is very clearly not ok and whenever anyone tries to reason with her she says she doesn’t need help because she’s perfect. Then, of course, it goes wrong because it always does and she starts threatening to murder Jeremy, whenever Dustin tries to scare her off she does the same to him. There’s a massive completely improvised fight scene at Jeremy’s house (we were all freaking out on the mod discord lol), in which Chloe gets a concussion, Rich nearly gets murdered and Thalia tries to force feed Jeremy Mountain Dew Green...

When everyone wakes up the next day you have some cute shipping junk between some of the couples since their SO was nearly killed. Chloe and Jeremy realise they both don’t hate each other because they actually TALK TO EACH OTHER TO FIGURE SHIT OUT.

Meanwhile, Chloe and Madeline have clear romantic chemistry and everyone can see it but them, they ‘fake’ flirt and go on ‘fake’ dates while saying ‘I cAn’T POsSibLY sEE HoW ShE cOUld LIkE mE’. It’s cute, we all love it.

But it goes wrong when Chloe says that Madeline should keep some distance from her because she’s scared of whatever’s going on between them and that obviously hurts Madeline because they have become really close friends since the blogs started. Madeline spirals like Thalia did and gets a squip, but this time only Chloe is there to help her. Dustin was going to help but Jeremy keeps saying that he can’t go and he’s scared and he doesn’t want ‘this’ so being a good boyfriend, Dustin tries to help him. Jeremy just tells him there’s nothing wrong and Dustin should go help, Chloe. Dustin doesn’t like being left in the dark so he goes (unhappily) but he doesn't get there in time to help Chloe (I SWEAR THIS IS IMPORTANT LATER, https://todays-jeremy-heere.tumblr.com/post/179026525980/jeremy-whats-going-on-why-are-people-saying-i). So Chloe and Madeline have a fight scene and Squip!Madeline loses. (https://todays-chloe-valentine.tumblr.com/post/179030653474/listen-up-you-tic-tac-bitch-chloe)

When Maddie is in the hospital with her you get some really cute lesbian time with Chloe talking to a sleeping Madeline and what not its cute. https://todays-chloe-valentine.tumblr.com/post/179068636659/14102018

Eventually, the two of them (FINALLY) get together <3

Meanwhile, Jeremy’s mental state is getting obviously worse (posts with crossed out text, talking to ‘himself’, stuttering more, ect ect.) but whenever anyone tries to see what’s wrong he gets very defensive to the point of being kinda rude.

Dustin tries to get him to open up one final time, Jeremy says some stuff he shouldn’t have and Dustin breaks up with him, https://todays-jeremy-heere.tumblr.com/post/179194061640/101818 (Note, Dustin was completely justified and not an asshole, Jeremy was hurting both of them. https://todays-dustin-kropp.tumblr.com/post/179194994713/seriously) This sends both of them into a bad place where Dustin is pretty empty and Jeremy is panicky and defensive (and it's very obvious his squip has reactivated, https://todays-jeremy-heere.tumblr.com/post/179216021025/this-is-your-fault-n-no-he-deserves-better-than ).

Chloe and Dustin are good friends so she and him help each other out with their shit its sweet.

Whenever people try to help Jeremy he lashes out and gets very defensive. It’s very obvious at this point that during the fight with Thalia he was squipped, he talks to himself and flinches at nothing, but whenever anyone accuses him of that he adamantly denies it. He refuses to drink mountain dew red.

Chloe tries to talk to him but he yells at her and when she calls him out he starts stuttering an apology and she goes ‘Jesus stop stuttering like that.' This is the wrong thing to say to someone who spent almost a year of their life shocked whenever the speech impediment that they cannot control showed itself. Jeremy gets fucking pissed, obviously. (https://todays-jeremy-heere.tumblr.com/post/179285070845/hey-uh-ive-checked-up-on-dustin-but-how)

Madeline sends him a ‘not so friendly suggestion’ to not shout at her girlfriend. When Jeremy says how she commented on his stuttering Madeline mocks him with a fake stutter and is no help whatsoever. She says she’s sorry that they care enough to ask him what’s wrong. Jeremy has asked multiple times that they treat him like they usually do, even when he’s going through a bad time because he wants one constant thing so he says ‘If you cared about me you’d leave me alone.’ (https://todays-madeline-monroe.tumblr.com/post/179286238797/hey-unfriendly-demand-dont-fucking-yell-at-my)

Jeremy gets worse, anons try giving him an intervention, doesn't work. Chloe tries apologizing but she accidentally makes Jeremy have a mental breakdown which is always fun.

Meanwhile, Thalia finds out that a guy from her English and PE classes got her pregnant. Her mum also died, Chloe is very supportive to her and lends her a dress for the funeral. She generally isn’t having a very good time right now but everyone she knows is being so nice to her and she’s very grateful. (https://todays-thalia-mcarthy.tumblr.com/post/179404119923/hey-i-need-to-borrow-a-dress-for-my-mothers)

In preparation for Jake’s party, Dustin lets Jake know that he’s allergic to red food dye so that it isn’t in any of the food and Dustin doesn’t need to go to the HOSPITAL.

Jeremy and Chloe made up, Jeremy apologises for yelling and Chloe apologises for commenting on his stutter. They end up hugging and Chloe lets him know that even though he wants to be left alone she’s still there for him, when Jeremy starts replying with an explanation of why he can't really talk about it his squip shocks him. Rather than freaking out Chloe calmly deals with it and Jeremy indirectly confirms that he does indeed have a squip. They establish a code so that they can talk about it, green = its talking, yellow = it shocked me, and red = help. Madeline (who acted a lot worse) still hasn’t apologised and Jeremy is still mad at her. This is the post where this goes down >>> (https://todays-chloe-valentine.tumblr.com/post/179403825299/h-hey-i-im-sorry-for-s-shouting-at-you)

Chloe finally gets Dustin to open up about how he’s feeling because up until this point Dustin has just been taking care of everyone but himself. Dustin accidentally implies he’s a murderer to get Chloe to not call him an ‘egg’ but they resolve it. He isn't a murderer (probably). Chloe is everyone’s mother. (https://todays-chloe-valentine.tumblr.com/post/179437193524/someones-been-anonymously-flirting-with-your-ex)

Chloe encourages Dustin to talk to Jeremy and sort their shit out but it goes wrong when Dustin kisses Jeremy twice and Jeremy, who did not consent to that, yeets outta there because he was not ready to do anything like that with Dust bin again and he goes to Chloe’s house and he is obviously upset and he says he feels ‘gross’.

Chloe mother is having none of that shit so she goes to yell at Dustin, she told him to talk to jeremy not to kiss him. Chloe is very mad and not thinking straight (me neither chlo) so she kisses him to try and do a tase of your own medicine type thing but Dustin is just like ‘ew im gay’. Everyone is annoyed at Chloe for this because WHAT THE FUCK CHLOE DO NOT KISS A GAY GUY WHEN YOU ARE A GIRL ESPECIALLY WITHOUT CONSENT.

Madeline, her gf, says that she is terrified of how easily Chloe can hurt people like that and she breaks up with Chloe.

So now Chloe is kinda spiraling but she doesnt get a squip because she’s not AN IDIOT.

Jeremy and Dustin kinda make up, Dustin is obviously extremely sorry and Jeremy gets the circumstances and is way too forgiving in general but yeah. It’s unspoken that they are ok with eachother but they boht kinda silently agree to forget that ever happened and to move past it.

Thalia in general isn’t very mentally ok and she tries to kill herself by jumping off a bridge but Dustin saves her.

AND THAT’S WHERE WE ARE NOW FUCKERS HAVE A NICE DAY.

[arachcobra]

Naruto Episode 11 & 12 Review

Got PTSD? Just walk it off, you baby.

Review of Naruto Episode 11 and 12: The Land Where a Hero Once Lived and Battle on the Bridge! Zabuza Returns!

ArachCobra

So in this one, we start out with having Sakura guard Tazuna on the bridge, all alone. I'm just like, what? Apparently, it's because Kakashi is still not feeling well and Naruto and Sasuske are still struggling with the tree climbing things. So they do try to explain it. But the problem here is that there is no fucking way Kakashi can know when Zabuza will be back. Yeah, he can make an estimate based on the guy's injuries, but he doesn't know if Zabuza has some super healing ninja in his employ. For all he knows, Zabuza is heading for the bridge at a speed of mach fuck you right that very instant.

He isn't and Sakura is not gruesomely cut into confetti, but that's just because Zabuza has no easy way to recover. But this is still very risky.

Also, Tazuna calls Sakura lazy for yawning, which I feel is entirely uncalled for. Some guy named Giichi feels working on the bridge is getting too risky, so he quits, with Tazuna yelling at him.

Later, Sakura and Tazuna goes shopping and we get to see just how badly Gato has ruined the Land of Waves. It's an admittedly effective scene.

This is then ruined by the dinner scene where Sasuke and Naruto are shoveling down food so fast they have to puke. Hey, assholes, people are starving right now. Least you could do is respect the food you're given by not choking on it, just because you have to prove you're better than each other. Seriously, this is not team work. Time and time again we see this competition between Naruto and Sasuke makes them take quite frankly idiotic decisions that are detrimental for the team as a whole. Kakashi should get his act together and tell the two of them to get their shit together.

And then Sakura stares at a slightly damaged photo on the wall and Odysseus, the dialogue. To paraphrase Sakura: “There's a picture here. But it's torn. How did it get torn? It seems very important. The one who tore it must have had some sort of reason. I wonder why.” Honestly, most likely explanation is that Kakashi noticed the plot point hanging on the wall and asked Sakura to point it out until someone would say something and move the story along.

So then we get the tale of Kaiza. About how he saved Inari from drowning thanks to a trio of child bullies straight out of a Stephen King story. About how he saved the village when the floodgate broke. It's an interesting story, but made kinda silly by being punctuated by so much overly dramatic music and flowery language about how Kaiza: “Taught people the meaning of the word courage.”

And then Gato has Kaiza tortured by a group of goons before publicly executing him.

How... How can he do that? Is there no government in the Land of Waves? How did he get so powerful that he can execute people? In front of a large crowd of people even. In front of the guy's family. Did he buy out the government? How does that work? I mean, have him killed, yeah, that I can imagine, but publicly executing him for disturbing the order of the land? Kinda ridiculous.

And that's why Inari doesn't believe in heroes. Naruto goes out to train because he wants to show Inari that heroes do exists.

Neat.

For the next episode, let me just start by complaining about the title. It's called Zabuza Returns and Battle on the Bridge, but that's a fabrication at best. Zabuza and Haku show up at the very end of the episode and there is no battle on the titular bridge. Its just misleading.

Anyway, Haku crossdresses and meets Naruto in the forest and they exchange some awkward dialogue about having someone important. And that only by having someone important will you be strong. I guess that really depends on one's definition of strength, so I'm not gonna harp on that too much.

Anyway, tree climbing continues and Sasuke and Naruto returns, sweating, panting and covered in dirt. If you told me that's because they decided to celebrate with a victory quickie in the bushes, I'd believe you. These two really do come off as if they have some closeted feelings for each other.

Anyway, Inari says its all futile and Naruto calls him a coward and a crybaby.

Yeah, doesn't matter that the kid is traumatized by the death of his father and the decline of his country, while constantly having to worry that any day now, his grandfather will be slaughtered. Doesn't matter that this constant oppressive atmosphere of fear and futility has made him a nervous wreck with PTSD. Just get over it, kid. Anything else is cowardice.

In case it isn't obvious, I find this scene kinda sickening and insensitive.

Now, Kakashi says that Naruto didn't say anything he hadn't already told himself and that Naruto has suffered too. Well, great. Two problems. One, Naruto has not gone through the exact same scenario as Inari and even if he had, he'd probably have reacted differently, because people are different. He has no right to demand that Inari ”gets over it.” Second issue, from a narrative point, how bad did Naruto have it? We have some general ideas that he was excluded and people looked down on him, but it hasn't really been elaborated upon. We're just told Naruto has it bad and that's it. So here, the story trips over itself trying to justify Naruto yelling at a traumatized kid who's not even had a chance to properly grieve and get over the soul-shattering losses he's experienced.

To put it mildly, it doesn't really work. No matter how much the show insists that Naruto understands Inari's pain.

Anyway, next day, Zabuza shows up, Naruto is late and Gato's henchmen are getting ready to kidnap Tsunami and Inari. Oh, who's Tsunami? Inari's mother. She's been around for three episodes, but does very little. I think we only learned her name this very last episode in fact.

Shame. You'd think somebody with the name Tsunami would be a character you should keep an eye on.

Anyway, first episode works just fine. Second one dragged down by Naruto's treatment of Inari. Seriously, that's not okay.

Givenea

Inari, grandson of Tazuna takes over the role as awesomest character, for telling Naruto how dumb he is.

We then learn that Inari has lost all hope because a business tycoon turned his homeland into a dictatorship, everyone is starving and poor and his stepfather (who was the most amazing dad ever) was executed by said tycoon for trying to make things better.

Then Naruto calls him whiny.

Yup, Inari, an eight-year-old, who has lost his freedom and security and is struggling to cope with the loss of the only father he ever knew, is whiny. And Naruto is the right character to set him straight, because… a few people sneered at him…?

That’s all we’ve seen… Let me elaborate.

Back in episode 1, the big bad, Mizuki informs Naruto (and the audience) that Naruto is shunned and hated by the villagers because he is the container of the nine tailed fox. But this doesn’t stand up to scrutiny.

Within the first episode we see Naruto be chased down by ninjas, sneered at by his classmates and some random women and conned by Mizuki into stealing secret information.

This is not bad; it sets up that there is bad blood in between at least some villagers and Naruto. Next step would be to reinforce this idea over the next few episodes while establishing a norm for Naruto’s day to day life in Konoha. Naruto does runs into trouble with villagers a bunch of times within the first two episodes but only once or twice is their scorn unprovoked on his part. Going over them in order:

Episode 1:

Chased by ninja: He committed vandalism and skipped school. - Was punished by having to clean up his mess.

Sneered at by classmates - Because he mouthed off, they all had to redo a test.

Sneered by random women – Apparently unprovoked. Could be viewed to refer to the fox

Conned by Mizuki – Because he had the fox, Mizuki figured he could get away with it, taking advantage of him while he was vulnerable.

Episode2

Scolded by the Hokage – Naruto screwed up his ID and mouthed off.

Beaten by random woman – She was angry over Konohamaru’s botched transformation, unprovoked, but also nothing to do with the fox.

Thrown out of bookstore – Clerk did not allow reading before buying, had every right to toss them out.

Beaten by women in the bath - After attempting to sneak in and peep on them. They also immediately recognize, not only that Naruto and Konohamaru are transformed, but one also cries out: “Naruto, you again?”. Giving the distinct impression that this is a common occurrence.

Fight with Ebisu – while Ebisu does refer to Naruto as a fox, he seems far more miffed at Naruto taking Konohamaru all over town and distracting him from his training.

Ok, two things

Most people do not seem to care about the fox, whatsoever. They are instead reacting to Naruto’s actions, which are annoying at best and criminal at worst.

Nobody really seems to hate Naruto enough to step in and stop him from hanging out with the Hokage’s grandson. If Naruto was really shunned to the point we are supposed to believe, wouldn’t they try to save Konohamaru from the monster they believe the blond brat to be?

So while some people have treated Naruto pretty harshly, the whole thing fails in setting him up as an outcast through no doing of his own. It also fails at putting him through anything even remotely as bad as what Inari has suffered. So, when Kakashi later try to smooth things over, and encourage Inari, by explaining Naruto’s hardships and saying he got tired of whining and decided to do something about it, it falls flat.

Not only that, but when did Naruto ever stop whining? He pouts like a child whenever he doesn’t get his way.

Moving along.

After learning the tree-lesson instantly, last episode, Sakura is put on guard duty… well, it needs to be done, but couldn’t Kakashi have given her some other training since she’s ahead of the curve here? Not to mention, what is she gonna do if Zabuza or one of his people shows up? She is one lone genin, who has barely started her training as such. He, even wounded, is a highly trained jonin and we know that he has at least Haku to help him out.

Could be that this is just Kakashi’s way of paying lip service to doing this job.

So, Tazuna calls her lazy… I haven’t the foggiest why. After having lied to her superiors and then guilted her team into staying on a mission they are in no way qualified for, he should understand that just showing up is going above and beyond what anyone could expect from them.

So I guess these episodes are just here to make everyone look bad.

Oh yeah, and then Zabuza and Haku shows up.

Fluttersniper13

Sasuke and Naruto are having a dick measuring competition, Sakura is useless, family issues all over the place, Gato is god and everything is miserable. So, the usual shit.

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13125294/8/Naruto-Rewrite-1-Road-to-Ninja

[5hfanfiction]

you taste like my happiness

A/N: I feel kind of down lately. Which leads me to write happy one shots. Irony at its best.

Her Lauren isn’t the most romantic person there is. As simple as that. And after exactly ten years of being together and three very vivid discussions that still manage to bring Camila a headache to this date, she has grown to be fine with it.

Well, obviously Camila isn’t going to be ecstatic about her wife’s lack of grand gestures or her annoying dislike for red roses and lit candles. Some times are harder than others, like how Lauren tends to dread upcoming anniversaries, her wife knowing that the mentioned days usually come with a sullen Camila and an argument brewing right underneath.

But Camila makes it work somehow.

She sure as hell loves Lauren a lot more than to let that come between them. Or anything else for that matter.

Still, it doesn’t mean she can’t be bothered by it sometimes. Lauren has a lot of other good qualities, making up with small gestures of kindness. Like making sure the dinner is done and heated whenever Camila comes home late from work, or massaging her back after listening to her rambles about the old crooked office chair that makes her back and neck feel sore or her boss that basically has the same painful effect.

It’s not the lack of love that bothers Camila and she feels half-guilty for even thinking it’s an issue. Partly because she has a million papers to sort but mostly because Lauren is such a great wife. Always supportive, always loving. Unconditionally. Camila is so happy they’re well past the doubt factor, feeling absolutely secure in their relationship.

“Oh you’re going to be in trouble if Jenna sees you slacking like that.” Normani calls at her warningly from across her desk, her dark chocolate eyes barely visible above her computer screen, saving Camila from getting stuck in her own mind.

“Shit.” Camila blurts out as she looks at the growing pile of papers, immediately reaching for the first one and scanning it with her eyes, biting down on her lip.

“What’s up with you? I haven’t seen you this distracted since that time Lauren sent you a dirty text.” Normani comments as her smile widens in amusement at watching Camila’s cheeks flush bright red.

“Shut up.” Camila mumbles, making sure to dig back into the stack of paperwork. It’s unconscious, or maybe Camila means to do it, but she lets out an audible sigh, one that Normani immediately catches onto.

“Okay seriously. What’s going on with you today?” Normani asks again, furrowing her eyebrows as she looks at the brunette, expecting an explanation. She takes a pause from writing on her computer, adamant to wait until she gets a real answer. “Has Lauren done something? You’re rarely this quiet about your relationship.”

Camila ponders her next move for a few seconds, not sure if she should tell Normani or not. One thing is whining inside her own head, another is to actually air her complaints out loud. It’s not how Lauren and her usually do it. Their communication is rock solid, which is why they always come to each other first.

However, today is their anniversary and Camila is extra vulnerable. She’s allowed to let off some steam to her colleague.

“It’s our tenth year of being together.” Camila finally admits and mentioning anything in regards of Lauren has her habitually rubbing at the golden ring attached to her finger, becoming immensely aware that the ring should be enough in itself. The wedding was purely Camila’s wish and Lauren granted it in between their fifth and sixth year of dating.

“So? I know I’m awfully single right now, but anniversaries are usually a good thing.” Normani counters, thoroughly confused at the brown-eyed girl’s downhearted behavior.

“It’s not about the anniversary, or it is but it’s not a big deal.” Camila tries to explain, fumbling a bit with how to voice her issue elegantly so she just lets her dilemma out, flatly. “Lauren doesn’t like romance.”

At that, the corners of Normani’s mouth pull up into a huge grin, her laughter booming out into their office space next and it takes the short-haired girl a few seconds to regain her composure. “Oh my god Mila, I thought it was something serious.”

“It is! Lauren never does anything romantic and whenever I try to, she rolls her annoyingly pretty eyes at me.” Camila objects a little too loudly to which Normani only shakes her head.

“Mila, stop it. The only thing that really matters is that Lauren’s great and you know it.” Normani points out as she goes back to her works. “And I’m sorry, but I really have to finish this rapport or Jenna is going to murder me too. Probably after you, but still.”

Camila snorts a little, but returns to her work as well, simultaneously letting her shoulders sink down with a sigh. Normani is of course right, but it doesn’t mean Camila isn’t a little annoyed that her colleague isn’t taking this more seriously, which is nearly ironic because Camila also knows she is wrong for doing so.

“All I ask for is one bouquet of roses or a lit candle that is purposely placed there, not just as a decoration.” She can’t help but let it slip out, accepting the fact that she has to let it go when Normani shoots her a warning glare to get her to do exactly that. “Okay okay. I’m done.”

Camila makes an effort for the rest of the day to not bring up her silly complaints anymore, which helps elevate her mood and she is instantly back to being her energized goofy self, joking and talking casually with Normani until they’re done for the day and Camila walks up the stairs to their house. She is exhausted and it’s the first time today that she thinks lying on the couch with Lauren sounds like a good idea.

The first sign Camila gets that reveals that something is different, is one she doesn’t catch onto. It’s about when she opens the door after unlocking it, the door is still locked. Honestly, she doesn’t think much about it, way too tired for her brain to work properly. Instead she tries again and the lock clicks and the door opens smoothly.

Camila walks into their house and then automatically kicks off her painful stilettos and wriggles out of her jacket. When she hangs it on their rack, her eyes linger a little longer than usual. The second sign is hard, more like impossible to miss.

On top of the shelf above their clothing rack lies a single yellow rose, bright as the day and with a white envelope placed underneath. Camila’s name is scribbled on it in Lauren’s neat, distinctive handwriting and Camila gasps a little at the sight.

“Lauren!” She calls out eagerly as she reaches for the rose and the envelope, too excited to even notice that she doesn’t get a reply. She refrains from tearing the envelope open and decides to savior the moment instead, also determined to not let her animation ruin what’s inside.

A folded letter, which makes Camila’s smile widen and her heart flutters when she reads the four words written in Lauren’s elegant handwriting.

I love you-r shirt

     It was the day they met. The autumn had knocked at Miami’s door, painting the paved sidewalk in an alluring pattern of red and yellow and every color in between from the falling leaves. Camila was thrilled to finally get out of school, wanting to locate Dinah as quickly as possible to get out of there. What she didn’t expect though, was to find her bestfriend right next to the gate, not waiting for her, but actually talking to a certain somebody that immediately caused Camila’s breath to cramp together in her throat and her nerves to spike.

      The closer she got to them, the more her heart threatened to combust. It surely, unmistakably was Lauren Jauregui. The dark-haired girl in her math class that never seemed to mind helping others solve an equation and who always wore a genuine, brilliant smile that she had no problem sharing with basically everyone.

     Unfortunately, she was also the girl that Camila had developed a tiny, very innocent crush on. She hadn’t noticed it at first, and she wasn’t even sure yet, but something about Lauren’s smile was infectious to her, bringing her dozens of unfamiliar feelings that Camila hadn’t really felt before. Camila had wanted to talk to her at many occasions, but it was never a fitting moment. Lauren was usually sitting next to her friends and Camila wasn’t willing to go as far as to detach from her own group to maybe talk to the girl. She truly wasn’t that desperate. It was more of an admiration she held for the other girl.

     Now however, she was almost facing the girl and her eyes scanned her carefully. Lauren was wearing the black beanie she’d started to wear since the first leaf alternated from green to barely yellow, a black 1975 shirt underneath her black leatherjacket and with a grey scarf hanging around her neck. She was chatting animatedly with Dinah as her bestfriend laughed at something funny Lauren must have said.

     “Hi you!” Dinah greeted Camila happily when she noticed her presence, pulling her bestfriend into a tight hug and Camila returned an equally content ‘Hi!’.

     When they separated, Lauren had turned her attention to her and addressed her with a courteous, warm smile, but when it was Camila’s turn to speak, her thoughts crumbled.

     Maybe it was Lauren’s eyes looking at her, green as a blooming forest and vivid like the ocean waves crashing against the shore. Or maybe it was the comfort her presence radiated, welcoming and unwavering. Maybe it was as simple as the fact that Camila’s mind concluded that she did in fact have a crush on the charming beauty before Camila could consent and that was what caused her upcoming words to tumble out without her approval.

     “I love you-r shirt.” Became the first and last words Camila said to the girl before her cheeks flushed the deepest red they had ever been through her 16 years of existence. She could hear Dinah’s small snicker from her side and registered the tiny, nearly unnoticeable raise Lauren’s thick eyebrows took.

     Luckily, Lauren didn’t make a comment about her strange behavior, but smiled even wider at her. “Thanks.”

Camila smiles at the faint memory. She’d only been 16 years old back then, a newborn when it came to the kind of love she would experience and unknown to what the constantly smiling girl would mean to her.

It’s amazing how four short words, that to anyone else would be insignificant, can almost bring tears to Camila’s eyes, but she keeps her composure.

“Lauren!” She tries to call at her wife again lovingly, wanting nothing more than to hug the woman tightly and kiss her all over her face.

When Camila doesn’t get an answer, she naturally goes to search for Lauren herself. She takes a left, right into their kitchen, expecting to maybe find her wife at the stove, cooking them dinner. The only thing remotely living in their kitchen though, is another rose very similar to the one she is currently holding in her hand, except this one has a delicate red tip. There’s another letter resting beside it, the written words shining invitingly at her.

It didn’t take me one moment to fall in love with you Camila. It was more like a slow burning process. A balance between feeling brave and scared, eager and content, yours and mine. Most defining and memorable balance I ever had to face was probably the one tiptoeing around our friendship, wondering whether there was a line to cross or not.

But the moment I found out I was in love with you, was the same night I realized it didn’t matter what a shooting star was, but the importance lied within what I wished upon.

     It was a 'star-y’ night Camila had decided to call it. And it was the last one she would spend in this garden, at this blanket and in this exact position right next to Lauren. They were resting on their backs, looking up at the dark sky while counting shooting stars, or burning rocks as Lauren referred to them as.

     “I see another one!” Camila exclaimed, thrilled, pointing up at the sky to which a star had just fell. “Wow, that makes it two in one night. Do you think it’s a coincident that two stars fall at the same night we’re going to college?”

     “I think that’s sort of a stretch.” Lauren laughed endearingly at the other girl, “and I told you, it’s not a star falling Camila. It’s a meteoroid entering our atmosphere and burning. And the trail of light is a meteor, more precisely, it’s translated heat.”

     Camila rolled her eyes. She’d known the girl for about two years and Camila had learned to be amused with Lauren’s desire to keep things authentic.

     “Well, it’s beautiful.” Camila commented with a smile.

     “That it is.” Lauren agreed and gulped, rolling over to her side to look at Camila. Her head suddenly filled with all the thoughts she’d only dared to wonder in the am. Camila immediately copied the action, turning to her side to meet Lauren’s thoughtful gaze.

     Lots of people’s eyes changed through the years, not exactly aging, but went through different stages of colors. Lauren’s hadn’t. They looked to be in a darker shade tonight, but that was probably more due to the gloominess around them than anything else. They were still as beautiful and expressive as always, sparkling with love for the world and an endless kindness.

     “Do you think we’ll be able to keep in touch after we leave this place?” Lauren asked and Camila could hear the touch of fear in Lauren’s voice as the girl tried to overshadow it by holding her gaze confidently.

     Camila really wanted to say yes in that moment. But the rational part of her saw the way Lauren was begging for reality and not a lie. “I sure hope so.” Camila let out with a huff following, answering the question honestly.

     She wasn’t sure what Lauren had thought of moving so far away from each other. They had only grown closer with each year passing, but they hadn’t had to face the consequences of separation yet. Who knew what their friendship would be like.

     It was different with Dinah. Camila had known the girl since childhood and being friends forever was what made her feel secure in their friendship.

     A complete contrast to how she felt with Lauren.

     (That sentence seemed to be the epitome of her life since Lauren had entered.)

     In all fairness, everything seemed to be a contrast in comparison to Lauren. Lauren’s hugs were warmer, tighter and her words made more sense. Camila’s emotions ran wild with Lauren, but she also felt content whenever she was close to her. Which was strange. As things also felt very elevated in the dark-haired girl’s presence. Camila had learned about an awareness that she had never possessed before.

     Suddenly she was aware of how Lauren’s pupils dilated the instant she talked to people regardless of who they were, like the simple human contact made her sincerely happy. Or that Lauren had little wrinkles at each corner of her mouth seemed to have become a permanent attribute, probably because of the girl’s constant smiling.

     "It’s okay if we don’t because…“ Camila started and took a firm hold of Lauren’s left hand in hers, interlacing their fingers in a very slow motion. They had held hands before, but this time felt a little bit different, as if the skin inside the palm of her hand was unfamiliar to Lauren’s. Each of Camila’s skin cells were highly sensitive, searching and discovering the contours and warmth emitting from Lauren’s hand like never before.

     Camila couldn’t help but connect their eyes, her senses activated and inside of her formed a sentence that she wasn’t ready to make sense of yet. Not out loud and definitely not to the girl in front of her.

     Instead, she said the things she could say. "Because if that ever happens I know it will be you, and I know it’ll be because you’re happy. And that’s all I want.”

     Lauren closed her eyes, sighing before dropping her voice lower, a husky tone covering her next words. “I want you to be happy too.”

     Something changed in their friendship that day. Maybe it was the nerves from knowing they would move to college the next day. Or maybe, maybe it was the fact that when Lauren opened her eyes to look at her again, Camila swore she saw something she’d never seen before. Not anything she understood, but it sure as hell was something she wanted to.

After finishing her second letter, Camila cries. To be honest it’s long overdue. The tears huddle up in her eyes until they release as overflowing rivers of happiness and inevitably decide to trail down her cheeks in thick uncontrollable streams. She lifts her hand to cover her mouth, suppressing a sob that’s on it’s way up. That’s what she saw, all those years ago. It was Lauren realizing she loved her.

Camila’s heart is beating hard in her chest and she hopes for God sake that everyone in the world gets their own Lauren, because her wife is the best thing that has happened to her.

She takes a few moments to regain composure, but as soon as she does, all she wants is to find her wife, wanting to express her gratitude and love for the woman.

Apparently Lauren is on a mission and Camila has only began her journey as she discovers a wooden frame nailed to the wall next to the kitchen entrance, one that certainly wasn’t there before Camila had left for work. It’s a single sign that has been overlooked in the chaos of mysterious letters and overwhelming surprises.

She immediately puts down the yellow rose and the first letter down on the kitchen table, bouncing over to scrutinize the picture eagerly, wiping away the wetness from her cheeks with the back of her hand. Messy mascara and roughed up appearance aren’t even on her mind as she views the picture.

However, there isn’t a just a photo behind the glass like she originally had thought. Camila’s jaw nearly drops to the floor as she’s staring right at her own handwriting. It’s a letter she had written to Lauren during their first year of college. The pair had shared an awkward first kiss right before Lauren drove off and Camila remembers feeling so completely and utterly confused when Lauren hadn’t contacted her for three whole weeks afterwards.

Now it’s a strange thing to think about how every fight, every argument or break up they’ve faced have led them to this moment. It’s funny how things that at the time completely broke her and made her so sad, border to devastated, are events that she is thoroughly grateful for today. It’s her greatest motivation, that if they have been able to not let those things divide them yet, they’ll survive anything.

Camila has her own authentic proof that things do get better. Admittedly, it may take some time and sometimes better comes in form of a raven-haired girl with kindness laced in her smile, but it does happen and when it happens, it’s beautiful.

Down in the corner of her letter is a small photo, a polaroid of Lauren and her that she’s never seen before. They’re both smiling into a kiss, Lauren’s hands fastened on her hips while her own arms are securely locked around Lauren’s neck. Camila’s heart skips a beat as the memory of her wife’s lips against hers replays in her mind.

One sentence is scribbled above their heads in black marker and Camila suddenly is utterly baffled what she has done to deserve somebody as amazing as Lauren.

You taste like my happiness.

Camila has to control her breathing again, the sobs threatening to burst out as she closes her eyes, drawing a slow breath. And just like that, she feels two arms carefully wrap around her waist and she lets her weight to slightly fall back into the body behind her. It’s Lauren. It’s her perfume, her presence, her warmth. It’s everything Camila has ever wanted in her life.

“Happy anniversary, babe.” Lauren husks out close to her ear and Camila can hear the evident tremble in her voice. And it soothes her a little, to know that Lauren is as affected by the moment as she is.

She turns around in Lauren’s embrace, opening her eyes to see the broad smile that threatens to give her heart palpitations. Lauren opens her mouth but Camila shakes her head, hands reaching up to cup her wife’s cheeks gently, leaning in to catch her lips in hers before Lauren can say anything more.

It’s one of the most intense kisses they’ve ever shared and Camila doesn’t think she’s been smiling this much before. Lauren is firmly squeezing her hips and Camila can’t help but lose herself in girl’s infectious comfort.

When their lips finally part, they’re slightly out of breath and Lauren immediately chuckles. “I guess this means you like the surprise.”

Camila smiles and gives a confirming nod, her eyes still never leaving Lauren’s while her hands softly held Lauren’s face lovingly. “Like is an understatement. I don’t think it’s possible to love someone more than I love you.”

“I only have one gift left.” Lauren suddenly says and drops down on one knee.

Which makes Camila’s eyes widen, before she burst into a fit of laughter. “Babe. I hate to tell you, but we’re sort of married already.”

“No shit.” Lauren rolls her eyes, but cracks a smile. “I’m not going to propose, I’m giving you your final gift.” She reveals as her hand digs into her back pocket of her jeans and she fishes out another folded letter and presents it to Camila.

However, when Camila reaches for it excitedly, Lauren holds onto the other end a little tighter, refusing to let it go with a playful expression etched her face. “Not so fast,” she teases and Camila raises a brow. “I’m down on one knee, which means you owe me an answer.”

“Yes.” Camila returns almost before Lauren can finish her sentence.

“You haven’t even heard my question yet.” Lauren chuckles at her impatient wife.

“I don’t have to. My answer will always be yes to you, Lauren.” Camila says seriously, and a gentleness settles over Lauren’s face.

“I want to ask you though.” Lauren tells her and all of a sudden, she looks completely nervous. “Because I know I’m the worst at romance but I want to take you to Paris. But Camila, I truly can’t wait to admire the city of love from the top of the Eiffel Tower with you, or to be reminded that no view can compare to the one I get to wake up to every morning.”

“Yes.” Camila blurts out endearingly, blinking away a few tears as Lauren grins, finally letting go of the letter and allowing Camila to unfold it. Inside there are two tickets to Paris, but Camila’s brown eyes are drawn to the written words.

Dear Camila.

With you I’ve learned the lessons they forgot to teach you in school. Being by your side have taught me how to love. To love you for you and to love me for me, and to love love, because love is a pure and beautiful concept that should never be tainted with anything butpride and utter care.

I loved you even before I could understand it myself, and I want to thank you for making me understand this confusing world in the purest of ways. You’ve showed me what life can be like and what real serenity feels like.

My love for you keeps growing, as it should, as it will. It grows each time you laugh, or smile or breathe.

You have always said that love is a choice you make twice a day. Each morning you wake up and each night before you go to sleep. Thanks for choosing me and know that I will keep choosing you, for as long as I can and then a little more.

I love you in my saddest of moments and in my happiest moments. But most importantly, I love you in every moment between.

Love, your Lauren.

Camila gets completely lost in the words, her brain struggling to form any thoughts other than love.

And when Camila looks up she finds Lauren still standing in front of her, but now she’s carrying the two roses Camila found earlier in one hand and a single red rose in the other, smiling bashfully at her.

“These are our story.” Lauren breathes the words out with a loving smile and it takes Camila a few moments to connect the dots.

However, when she does, she is pretty sure that her heart has overfilled with love and that she’s on a high she’ll never get down from.

After all, their story starts and ends like every great love story.

1. Friendship.

2. Falling in love.

3. Love.

[alya-bug]

When your friends are traveling

Alya and Nino are very loyal friends. Even when they are on a trip, they are always ready to drop anything for a phone call from their best friends. Ao3 link.

I finally wrote the story from this post. It is a series of short, silly scenes. Alya and Nino are secret badasses but they always put their friends first. 

“Hey, bro, what’s up?” Nino’s voice came from the cell phone.

“I’m sooo bored!” Adrien moaned, falling back against his bed. He had been so lonely ever since he graduated lycee six months ago. He wanted to go straight to University but he struck a deal with his dad. If he modeled full time for two years, he could study whatever he wanted. He had been managing it until Nino had left two weeks ago for a two month trip around Europe with Alya. He was happy for his friend but he missed him. Life was so boring without him.

Nino laughed. “Sorry bro. It must be so boring being a supermodel.”

“It really isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” Adrien laughed. “I’m surprised you have time to talk to me. When is Alya going to drag you off somewhere?”

“Don’t worry.” He paused for a moment. “She’s busy.”

Adrien laughed. “What’s she doing?”

“Just making a deal with the mob. I’m keeping watch.” Nino said casually.

Adrien hesitated. “Should she really be doing that?”

“You know how travelling is. Sometimes things go sideways and you have to do what you can to fix it.”

“I guess. . .”

“But bro, you should hang out with Marinette. She’s around and cool.”

“I don’t know,” Adrien sighed. “She’s cool but I feel like it’s always awkward when we hang out one on one.”

There was a faint slamming door and muffled voices speaking what sounded like Russian. “Oh fuck. Gotta go bro. Text Marinette.” The phone clicked off and Adrien sighed. He still wasn’t sure about texting Marinette. He liked her but she didn’t really seem to like him much, even after the four of them had hung out all though lycee. Maybe he would in a couple of days.

--

“So, what do you think the text means?” Marinette asked, leaning back in her desk chair.

“Probably that he wants to hang out some time?” Alya said, and then grunted.

Marinette laughed. “What are you doing?

“Uh,” Alya paused. “Not much. I have to scale this tower.”

“A tower? Why?”

“Nino’s inside.” There was a sound of crumbling and a faint crash. “Whoops.” There was another grunt and then Alya spoke again. “Yeah, there’s some lady who kidnapped him ‘cause she wants to marry him. It’s dumb, but if I don’t get to him by midnight, the marriage is binding.”

“Oh.” Marinette said, confused. “I guess I should leave you to that.” “No way, girl. I know you can’t compose a response to a text like that by yourself.” Marinette could hear a loud bang. “Shit. They saw me.” There was a scuffling sound and another grunt. “Look. Text him ‘Sure’ with a smiling emoji. Just the regular smile, not the big smile.” Another bang. “No period, no capital. Don’t want to look like you are over thinking it with punctuation.” Another bang and then a grunt and a crash. “Whew. I have to deal with this. I’ll call you back once I get a chance.”

“Wait, what do I do if he text back before --” but Alya had already hung up. Damn. It sucked when your best friend was travelling.

--

“Marinette’s really great.” Adrien said, smiling. “We had a really great time.”

“Awesome.” Nino said, enthusiastically. “I knew it was a good idea.”

“Yeah, she is pretty cool.” He sighed.

“But. . . ?” Nino said, leading. Suddenly he cheered. “Get him, babe!”

“What’s going on over there?” Adrien asked.

“Don’t dodge me.” Nino scolded. “Why did I hear a ‘but’ when you were talking about

Marinette?” A loud sound of metal clanging against metal rang in the background.

“But I know you want me to date her and I like someone else.” He said, distractedly. “Seriously, what is going on?”

“Alya’s just dueling a guy, it is fine.” He cheered again. “Yeah!” His voice turned serious again. “Really, dude? How many times has this girl rejected you now? You say she’s so great but if she doesn’t want to date you then you have to move on.”

Adrien sighed. “I know. But Marinette is too good of a girl to date just to get over someone, you know? I couldn’t do something like that to her.”

Nino sighed, exasperatedly. “Because you totally kind of like her but won’t admit it!”

Adrien sputtered. “No!” He said, defensively. “She's great, but no!”

Suddenly Nino yelled. “Honorless bastards!” There was a clattering noise, as if Nino had dropped the phone.

“Nino?” Adrien asked. He could hear more of those metal clanging noises, as well as yelling and noises of a struggle. He could make out Nino’s voice, as well Alya’s, among the voices.

Adrien couldn’t quite hear what they were saying but he thought he heard someone yell “Death to betrayers!”. It might have been Alya but he wasn’t sure.

After several minutes, the sounds calmed. There was the scuffling noises of someone picking up the phones.

“Sorry about that, dude.” Nino said, sounding out of breath. “Just had to deal with a few things. The terms of the duel was clearly a one on one fight.”

“No problem.” Adrien assured him. He was glad Nino seemed to be having a good time.

Alya said something incomprehensible. “Yeah, you’re probably right.” Nino said to her. “Look, I gotta go.” He said to Adrien. “But think about what I said!”

“Okay, I’ll think about it.” Adrien said, but Nino had already hung up. He leaned back in his chair. Did he like Marinette?

--

Marinette: I think he likes someone else :(

Alya: DONT EAT THE FOOD

Marinette: ???

Alya: ignore that

Alya: it was supposed to go to nino

Alya: its not important

Alya: don’t give up!

Alya: you are totally better than whatever dumb girl he may or may not like

--

Adrien stared at the picture, confused. It was a selfie from Nino, which was not unusual in itself. What was unusual was the other person in the picture. Was it a person? It must just be a really good cosplay. Maybe they stumbled across a con or something in their travels. That was the most likely explanation for the horned, green skinned person who was making a peace sign at the camera. Their fingers had claws on them and their mouth was filled with sharp teeth.

But they were smiling and Nino had an arm around their scaly neck.

Adrien smiled, thinking about his best friend. He really could make friends with anyone.

--

“Hey! Marinette! I’m glad you called.” Alya sounded out of breath.

“Yeah, how are you?” Marinette asked. She was eager to discuss the situation with Adrien as of last night.

“Oh, you know, breaking out of prison.” Alya said casually.

“What?” Marinette said, confused. “Why are you in prison? What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything!” Alya said indignantly. “It isn’t, like, a legal prison. Nino’s admirer is into some shady stuff and she threw me in here to be experimented on or something. They want to turn me into a brainwashed super mutant soldier. Or something like that. We fought a couple of them a few days ago, they turned out to be pretty cool. But yeah, it doesn’t really matter.”

“Okay.” Marinette was skeptical. “Are you okay?”

Alya scoffed. “Oh, yeah. This is nothing. How are things going with Adrien and that girl he likes?”

“That got pretty complicated.” She sighed. Discovering the girl that Adrien liked was Ladybug was definitely interesting. Not to mention the way he had almost kissed her as Marinette last night.

“Complicated in your favor?” Alya asked, slyly.

Marinette laughed, her face getting red. “Yeah, I think so.” A thought occurred to her suddenly. “How do you have your phone if you are locked up?”

Alya chuckled. “Girl, no one can take my phone from me if I don’t want them to.”

“True.” Her phone was pretty much glued to her hand. “Is, like, Nino coming to save you?” “Probably.” She sounded disinterested. “But, like, I got to at least meet him halfway, you know? Feminism and all that. You might be able to help me, though.”

“How? I am all the way over here you are . . . where are you?”

“I’m not really sure where I am? They knocked me out so I could be anywhere. But yeah, so, I have a thin blanket, a metal bowl, three marbles, a broken toilet seat, and a bunch of straw. You’re good at this sort of stuff. How do I get out of here?”

“Hmmm.” Marinette tried to get in the mindset she used during akuma attacks. “Are there any windows or doors? Any guards?”

“A door with a little slit and several deadbolts. And there’s a guard outside but it sounds like he’s sleeping.”

“Okay.” She spoke slowly, thinking as the words were coming out. “So, you could rip the blanket into strips and. . . .” She outlined her plan, imagining the room in her mind.

“Thank you so much.” Alya gushed. “I think it’ll work.”

“Be safe.” Marinette chided.

“Hey, that is my line, now that you are so close to bagging Adrien.” Alya said, laughing.

“Alya!” Marinette’s face burned with embarrassment.

“Well, I think I should do this plan sooner rather than later.” Alya giggled. “I’ll call you when I get out. Keep me updated. Love you.” “Bye, love you too.” Marinette said, but Alya had already hung up. She couldn’t wait until her best friend was back.

--

“Hey, Nino.” Adrien said as he picked up the phone, glad that he had something to distract him. “What’s up?”

“Hey dude. Not much, not much.” Nino said, sounding slightly distracted. There was a lot of noise in the background but Adrien couldn’t make it out. It sounded regular, almost like a siren. But Nino didn’t seem bothered by it. “What’s up with you?”

Adrien sighed. “I think I may have messed up big time with Marinette.”

This seemed to catch his attention. “Woah, wait. I thought there was nothing going on between you two?”

Adrien blushed, thinking about the previous day. “Maybe you were right, a little. It’s complicated.”

Nino laughed. “Sure, whatever.”

“Did you just call to tease me?” Adrien asked, with affected annoyance.

“No, actually.” Nino said, thoughtfully. “You know Chinese, right?”

“Uh, yeah.” Adrien said, confused. “Pretty well, at least. Why?”

“I’m in China and I need you to translate something.” Nino said as if it was obvious.

“I thought you guys were on a trip around Europe?” Adrien asked. He hadn’t heard anything about them going to China.

Nino laughed. “You know how traveling is. We got a little side tracked.”

That was not Adrien’s experience with traveling, but not everyone had Nathalie to keep them on a strict schedule. “What did you want me to translate?”

“Here. I’m gonna put you on speaker.” There was a click and suddenly everything was much louder. Adrien could make out the sound of sirens and a robotic female voice speaking in Chinese. “What’s the announcement saying?”

“Uh, something about 7 minutes? Destruction?” The voice repeated it’s message and Adrien was able to translate it. “I am pretty sure it is saying that it is going to self destruct in 7 minutes. And it keeps repeating ‘evacuate’.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Nino sighed in annoyance. “Well, I gotta go. Text me later about the thing with Marinette.”

“Sure.” Adrien said, still listening to the robotic voice. “It says the cages are open and to beware the mutants? I think that’s what it said, at least.” It wasn’t a word he often came across in his studies.

“That sounds about right.” Nino said, sounding distracted.

“Have fun?” Adrien said hesitantly.

Nino laughed. “Yeah. Talk to you later, bro.” And he hung up.

Adrien sighed, thinking of how he was going to face Marinette again.

--

“Alya!” Marinette exclaimed in greeting. “It’s been forever! Why haven’t I been able to get a hold of you? It’s been, like, over a week.”

“I’m so, so sorry about that!” Alya said, a layer of static over her voice. “I wanted to call you earlier but things were pretty crazy.”

“It’s pretty bad reception.” Marinette said, wincing at the static sound. “Where are you?”

Alya laughed. “We got pretty far off of our itinerary.”

“Weren’t you in China a week ago?” She asked. “Adrien mentioned it.”

“Ohhhh.” Alya said. “Hanging out with Adrien a lot, are you?”

Marinette blushed. “Yeah, things are going. . . really well, actually.”

Alya let out a small scream of delight. “Damn, girl. You just needed me to be gone for a little while and you can get him.” The static increased and Marinette could hear a voice in the background, but it sounded garbled. “I don’t care!” Alya snapped to the voice. “This call is important. We can focus on that when I’m done talking to my best friend.”

“Is everything okay?” Marinette asked, hesitantly.

“Don’t worry.” Alya assured her. “I just have to remind someone who’s the one who’s going to save their planet before they get their tentacles in a bunch.” Indignant garbled noises filled the background. “They sure look like tentacles to me.” Alya said to the unknown speaker.

“Uh, where are you?” Marinette asked, hesitantly.

“Just on a spaceship with some aliens, don’t worry about it.”

“Alien?” Marinette asked, incredulously.

“Yeah, yeah.” Alya seemed uninterested. “Tell me more about Adrien! What’s going on with you two?”

“Oh! Uh.” She hesitated. “We kind of kissed.” Things were going . . . interestingly ever since they discovered each other’s identities.

Alya screamed. “Why didn’t you tell me immediately? Oh my god!”

“I tried! But you’re in space, or something? How are you even talking to me?” She didn’t think cell phones worked in space.

“It’s some subspace portal thing, don’t worry about it.” She said dismissively. “But seriously! Tell me the details. When? How?”

Marinette laughed. “Well. . . .”

The garbled voice returned and Alya swore. “I’m so sorry. I have to go. The portal isn’t stable for very long and we are going into enemy territory soon. I will call you back, and soon.”

“Oh.” Marinette was disappointed. She really couldn't wait until Ayla got home.

--

Adrien and Marinette waited eagerly as the passengers departed the train, craning their necks for a sign of their friends.

“There’s Alya!” Adrien said, pointing. Marinette grinned as she caught sight of her best friend’s dyed red hair.

“Alya! Alya! Alya!” She jumped up and down, waving her arms.

“Brooooooo.” Adrien called out to Nino, who appeared behind Alya.

Alya turned to them and waved. She nudged Nino and pointed back to their friends. He grinned and the two of them started pushing through the crowd.

Nino rushed ahead and within seconds he was in Adrien’s arms, a chorus of “Broooooo!” emitting from both young men. Marinette laughed and rushed towards Alya, who swept her up in her arms.

“I missed you so much!” Marinette said, pulling back from the hug to look at Alya properly. Her hair was shorter, and she had a really badass scar on the side of her face, but other than that she was the same Alya.

“Woah, what happened to your arm?” Adrien asked. He held up Nino’s arm, which seemed to be made of metal and wires.

“I got a robo-arm now!” Nino said excitedly, waving it around to show it off. “It’s awesome.”

Adrien looked at it, concerned. “Wow. How did that happen?”

He waved his hand vaguely. “It’s a long story. I’ll tell you later.”

“Are you, like, okay with it?” Marinette asked.

“Oh, totally.” Nino responded earnestly. “I mean, sometimes I worry that I am more machine than man, but mostly it’s just super cool.”

“Wanna hear the story behind this badass scar?” Alya asked, pointing to the scar across her cheekbone. It did nothing to mar her good looks and actually made her hotter.

“Of course!” Marinette said cheerfully, as she grabbed Alya’s bag and they headed away from the platform. Alya animatedly told the story of fighting off an assassin sent by Nino’s admirer.

“And then he slashed and there was blood in my eyes and I couldn’t see anything. But I knew I couldn’t stop fighting, so I kept going. And just when I couldn’t take it anymore, Nino came out of nowhere, knocking him out of the plane and into the Arctic Ocean below.”

“I thought Nino was tied up?” Adrien asked.

“That’s the thing. One of the waiters slipped me a nail file. I managed to break the ropes just in time!” Nino said proudly.

“It was pretty sexy.” Alya said, giving Nino a quick kiss on the cheek. She turned to the other couple, eyeing their joined hands. “But enough about us. You guys are dating now! Finally!”

Marinette and Adrien blushed.

“I want to hear about your adventures!” Marinette insisted.

Nino laughed and Alya waved her hand dismissively. “Oh, it’s not really that interesting. We want to hear about how you two kissed! That is the real story here.”

[kotorno]

I watched the Adventure Time finale...

I’m proud that show was able to last as long as it did, especially with just how... kind of batshit insane the production got in its later seasons. I’m glad it kickstarted the careers of many great creators who have gone either to helm or create their own unique and diverse shows. I can tell that, at least in the early days, there was a big brewing pot of ideas and the “anything goes” mentality allowed different creators to tackle what they wanted with the program. The likes of many popular shows today are either rooted or inspired and admired by this show. And that’s fantastic. The finale was underwhelming. Truthfully I never really kept up with the show, so that’s probably part of it. AT came on the air when I was in college and when I wasn’t busy with games, studies, etc. the only show I tended to really watch at the time was Phineas and Ferb (and you can mock me all you want about that, I still stand by that that was a great show (that also had a nice run... until either Disney or the creators are trying to ruin it/recreate it without being the same show with their new product, but that’s another dumb talk for another time)). Adventure Time would have initially premiered when I was in my Junior of college, so yeah, probably didn’t watch it that much but respected a lot of the voice talent and kind of silly style the show had going for it. I’d watch it on and off through the years and get invested in some of the bigger multiparters such as the return of the Lich (never really understood it too much other than it was just evil), the really cute relationship Finn had with the Flame Princess until someone went “we don’t know how to write this and this is a show about adventure!” so they kind of just... stomped on that, and then the introduction of the being known as Prismo, who was pretty dang cool. A good friend of mine and I began bonding over cartoons because we watched a lot of them. Cartoons are, by in large, vehicles for everyone. They get this bad rep that they’re “kid’s stuff” and I can see why if you have stupidly easy to produce shows that just rely on fart jokes or the like. But we didn’t really see that. This drove us both back to watch Adventure Time, since we wanted to catch up on all the current cartoons. The episode we ended up watching... I think it was a two-parter, was about Finn’s dead-beat dad and getting him out of jail so he could then... betray his son to go somewhere? They killed off Prismo (at least for now), Finn lost an arm, and it seemed like things were getting tense. ...then Finn grew an arm back a few episodes later like, “lol, nothing bad happened.” For both of us, though my friend was already bothered by the two-parter we had watched, we kind of viewed the show has not really wanting to take itself seriously. Like there was this sense that yes, they wanted to have high stakes. Yes, they wanted to create this big expansive story (that the creator of the show kind of just said didn’t really exist or wasn’t extremely fleshed out when the show began, it was just a fun weird idea he had). But it seemed like someone burst into the writing room and went, “NO, WE CAN’T DO THAT. WE NEED TO REVERT IT BACK TO A FUN HAPPY JOLLY ADVENTURE” This seems to have persisted for the rest of the show’s duration.

Random side characters would be brought back, changed up, revived, killed off again, all for the sense of some kind of “drama” but then episodes would go “lol forget that happened” as if the writers were literally fighting with each other on what the hell they wanted to do now that most of their founding talent had moved onto other projects. Not to say anything bad of the last few seasons, but it just seems no one was willing to compromise to make something vaguely coherent. I realize that’s hilarious given that the first few episodes are anything but, but that seems to come from again a time when the series really wasn’t MEANT to have a large overarching narrative. I think with a lot of shows that have appeared since then, everyone just assumes “oh, this is a big overarching story with a beginning, middle and end and we’re just getting pieces of it at a time” such as the like with Steven Universe, the recent Ducktales reboot and parts of Gravity Falls. But I think the proof is in the pudding: This isn’t a “grand scheme, J.K. Rowling had most of the ideas for Harry Potter set out when she wrote the first book,” this is more of a, “Nomura realized he was going to make more Kingdom Hearts games and had to write by the seat of his pants in order to make a long narrative, making up new crap as he goes along.” There’s nothing wrong with that second one when done correctly, lots of older shows such as Star Trek: TNG were able to do this pretty competently. But when I think about it I think back to college when an old roommate and I were discussing the manga, “Bleach” which was beginning(?) or at least had signs of wrapping up at the time. I argued that Bleach overstayed its welcome, had horrendous pacing issues, and was plaguing itself with the most (at the time) bloated ending (which ended up NOT being the ending, fancy that). My roommate argued that once the series was completed, he would reread it and he was sure it would all make sense read as one package rather than the weekly updates we got.

So a few years passed and Bleach finally ended. My former roommate set himself out to do this task. He was kind of disappointed to find out that what I had said was true: The pacing got sloppy after a certain point, new powers get introduced pretty much at random, and fights last for goddamn ever (and this is the MANGA) leading to a really “meh” ending that feels extremely forced... after two other arcs that also felt extremely forced since they go against that proposed “what everyone thought would be” ending.

I feel like Adventure Time will be viewed in a similar light in the future. From the limited knowledge I have, it seems the “writers fighting over” what to do with Finn, Jake and the characters did indeed happen. There were plans for a movie, then it got canceled, then they tried to revive it, then they wanted to do specials and finally they just got a few more seasons. While I’m sure some would say, “well of course Cartoon Network would give them more seasons, it’s their most popular show!” Well it isn’t anymore. It hasn’t been for a while. The fact the show got a few more seasons seems more on good faith of “this product was good in the past, maybe it can still shine” they say as they cram Teen Titans Go literally to everywhere on their schedule. By the time my friend and I had watched the episode with Finn’s dad, Steven Universe had become huge on the network and many fans of AT, who liked some of one of the main original writer’s stories for that show, switched over to their new show instead. Cartoon Network was also premiering new shows around this time with We Bare Bears and Clarence, which had their own form of a humor that was relatable (like the ones found in AT) but without having a confusing as heck backstory/world. These shows became pretty popular because they did things without even making a fuss out of them (one of the characters in Clarence has two moms, and no one questions it, it’s just acceptance. There’s even a joke in that show about one of the characters waiting for a blind date, sees a hot guy and gets excited, then finds out he’s actually on a dinner date with his boyfriend/husband, it’s honestly masterly crafted). This kind of left AT in the dust for a bit as it’s weird show was becoming more serialized to the akin of the later seasons of Spongebob -- When in doubt, do something weird, or dumb or maybe shock-value (substitute for Spongebob’s gross-out humor) just to get views.

It seems the dust finally settled as the writers were able to come up with SOMETHING in order to end plot threads that were set up or messed up or whatever. Did you know Ice King was a regular human from before an apocalyptic war? It was a pretty cool reveal. Cool. Now there’s just a magic time portal for some reason and he’s no longer cursed for a bit and his wife is here. Oh, but he’s Ice King again and doesn’t remember her so... his wife will just wander the wilderness or something now? Okay... Jake’s an alien now. In hindsight, sure, it makes sense, but it feels like many of these ideas are just thrown at the wall for the sake of making “lore” when it’s really just making random crap up to make the show feel more “deep.” (Seriously, go look at the Kingdom Hearts plot to see the master of this craft.)

In the end, the finale wraps with a war... or not... it just kind of devolves into this thing for a bit where Finn has to confront his fears one last time, Bubblegum (who was just kind of shit on a bit from the writers during the later seasons) has to fight her uncle?? But then they make peace, and then a giant demon shows up for some reason because Ice King’s wife summoned it. Why did she summon it? What was the purpose? “Well I wanted my husband back” yeah ok, but... giant demon? The f*ck? Then through the power of music they kind of banish it... it’s... weird. I mean it makes sense for the show, and it’s definitely not a terrible episode. But it feels like they really wanted to play up, “LOOK AT THIS EPIC TALE WE’VE WEAVED, YOU BETTER HAVE NOTICED ALL THE DETAILS!!” for their last shebang. And that’s really the problem: The show was never set up like that to begin with. It was set up as a funny show with silly gags and interesting locales for characters to explore from episode to episode. If they ever did something that had consequences (in the earlier seasons at least) something would be done with a quick explanation of dialogue or something that gave the viewer indication as to what was going on, so they wouldn’t be lost. If you’ve watched Steven Universe at all, this show does it pretty brilliantly. Even with more recent episodes that have become heavily story-driven, you can start an episode without having seen ANY of the previous and it’s easy to work your way into. Having that previous knowledge helps, but the shows are constructed in a way that you shouldn’t have to do that unless you want to. Maybe because this was a finale, that’s why they could get away with it? ...but Gravity Falls had a finale too. It put in a lot of references to past episodes and things that happened in the series. You can still watch that finale without having seen any of the series. There’s no big bar that holds you back as to “why is this happening.” You learn character motivations, importance of items, etc. quickly in how it’s established. I know that sounds really selfish, “well it’s a finale for THIS show, and they should reward longtime viewers” and sure, fine. But the way Gravity Falls did it also didn’t alienate newer viewers either?

We’ll see what time has to say on it when people begin bringing it up to their kids or when past kids look in on it in just a few years who may have never seen the show. Maybe I’m 100% wrong. But I feel that it’s a show that, like Bleach, should have ended while it was ahead, at least a few years back. Luckily unlike Bleach, it’s still an enjoyable conclusion. But it definitely feels like a hollow shell of its former self. (But hey Marceline and Bubblegum becoming an item is actually cool and some of the scenes with them at the end are really cute so that’s a good plus, and Beemo (the best character) became a king so not everything’s terrible... just mediocre besides those points.)

[mandywantsacookie]

Sparks

Characters: Darcy Lewis, Stephen Strange, Jane Foster, mentions of Steve Rogers.  Entirely MCU based.  Premise: Darcy stumbles upon the strangest thing in the lab one night. Author’s Note: Not long after seeing Doctor Strange I posted this.  The fic has been floating around my head for awhile so I finally decided to see what happened.  This is the result.  I will warn you that this it the first time I have ever attempted to write Stephen Strange, and I sadly have only seen the movie once.  So I am not sure if I got him right.  I just wanted to have fun.  Hopefully you will enjoy it.  Will be posted to AO3 tomorrow.

Darcy is bleary eyed as she shuffles down the hall at a little after 4 in the morning.  Part of her wants to go right back where she came from (a nice warm bed).  Instead she feels her way towards the lab with her fingers, cursing when she stubs her toe on box (why haven’t they unpacked that yet --- it’s been weeks).

She has a feeling.

One strong enough that she had been jolted from dreams of a certain spangly super solider.  She knows better than to ignore said feeling.  She has done that approximately two times in her life and both ended in disaster (that she would rather not talk about thank you very much).  

Half limping from her encounter with the big bad box, Darcy pushes open the door to the lab and sure enough --- her feeling is validated.  “JANE!” She tries her best to sound authoritarian.  She sounds surprised instead which is fitting because her companion clearly hasn’t heard her coming (even with all that cursing).  

Jane’s body jolts and then she lets out a high pitched squeak. “Darcy,” Jane states as she turns away from a machine.  She looks sheepish --- like a kid caught after curfew.  In a way she is.  

Darcy stands in the doorway of the lab, hands on her hips.  “You promised.”

“I know...”

“You promised,” Darcy repeats.  “Five hours of uninterrupted sleep.  No scribbling notes under the covers with a flashlight, no staring at the ceiling while working equations and definitely no lab!”

“But...”

“No buts either,” Darcy states and watches Jane’s head hang.  She has her on the ropes.  “It was our deal. I forsaked my bed until three in the morning just to ensure that you didn’t end up drooling on the....” She glanced at the complex machine still beeping away on the table.  “...on the doohickey of importance because you promised me you would get some real sleep.  Time to keep that promise, missy.”

“Yes, Darcy.”

“Damn straight it’s yes, Darcy,” She says in triumph.  Before Jane can get her second wind and try to argue her down to four hours of sleep, Darcy has her hands on her friend’s shoulders and she is steering her back towards her bedroom.  “This is for your own good you know.  You won’t be able to report on all these exciting new findings...” That Darcy does not understand in the least. “...if you can’t properly string two words together.”  They reach Jane’s bedroom and she gives her friend a little shove.  “Now go! Sleep.”

Jane stumbles and Darcy almost lurches forward to ensure that Jane doesn’t end up face first on the floor.  Thankfully Jane has enough left in her to right her steps.  She looks drunk as she weaves and bobs towards her bed.  

Darcy decides that for the sake of her own sleep cycle she will bear witness to Jane’s final descent.  She moves further into the room, her fingers playing with the hem of the t-shirt she is wearing.  Jane clearly is not interested in sleepwear, instead just flopping on her bed hard enough to bounce.  “Doesn’t that feel nice?”

Jane says something directly into the mattress.  Darcy is sure it is words of agreement.  

“Sweet dreams of Asgardians with big hammers, Jane,” Darcy says fondly, already stepping backwards towards the exit (she can practically taste her bed).  She continues her escape and is nearly free when Jane bolts up straight in bed.

“Darcy!”

Darcy’s heartbeat is pounding against her chest.  “What the hell?  You trying to kill me before I turn thirty?”  

“Turn it off,” Jane instructs and for a moment Darcy is lost.  “It needs to be powered down if no one is monitoring it.”

Ah...the doohickey of importance.

“I got your back,” she promises and leaves as soon as Jane falls back on the bed.  She doesn’t need to look twice to know her friend is deep asleep.  She’ll be doing the same as soon as she follows through on her last good deed of the night.

She avoids the box this time as she makes her way into the lab.  Without Jane to focus on, Darcy finds the whole thing...kind of creepy.  “Right, doohickey and then skedaddle,” she vows and crosses the space towards the machine that is still blinking its own version of Morose Code.  She bends down, squinting to find the off switch.  Predictably it is not labelled.  “ --- I’m going to blow my ass up before I’ve had the chance to climb Mount Rogers.”  

It’s a real possibility.  

Her hand hovers over the machine for a moment or two, fingers dancing between two buttons (she narrows it down by color).  She considers playing Eenie Meenie Miney Mo but that seems wholly unscientific.  Finally, she decides to go with her gut.  After all, she has a good track record (minus those two times).  

She is about to press the circular button on the side when something catches her eye.  Or more accurately, she notices an orange glow bathing the otherwise darkened room.  Uh oh.  She takes a deep breath and glances over her shoulder.

Sparks.

There are sparks.

“Oh shit!” She cries, a panic seizing her immediately.  Sparks aren’t good.  Sparks are never good.  She can’t tell exactly what piece of equipment is about to burst in flames but does that really matter at this point?  

Instead of trying to locate the exact source she scrambles, tripping over Jane’s sneakers.  She lands with an audible umph but it proves to be a useful maneuver.  She can see the fire extinguisher now tucked away under the desk.  She drags it towards her, fingers working the pin as she does so.  By the time she is on her feet again, she is ready to unload the whole thing.

On sparks that have formed a circle --- a swirling circle.

She blinks, wondering if it some science thing or if she has finally lost her goddamn mind.  Either way, she is better off not getting hypnotized by odd display.  It’s still the beginnings of a catastrophe after all.  

She lets loose with the fire extinguisher and a funny thing happens.

(not so much funny haha as funny wtf is this)

Through the cloud of white she sees a shape emerging in the center of the sparks.  It starts small and she squints as it takes on a more discernible form.  A human form.

Her mouth falls open.  For a moment her grip on the extinguisher falters but there are still sparks so she redoubles her efforts.  

“Stop! Stop!” A male voice echoes through the space.

Still in shock as to what she has just witnessed, Darcy actually complies.  The sparks have gone and the cloud of carbon dioxide is settling, bathing the surrounding area in a white residue.

There is a rather large lump in the middle of it all.

She is breathing heavily as she reaches for the lights.  The sudden brightness is harsh on her eyes and she blinks repeatedly to help them adjust.  Then she is looking to the floor.

It is...a red ball.  

At least that is what is looks like.

She is still clutching the fire extinguisher, only now it serves as weapon.  She takes a step closer to the newcomer and then immediately hops back when the red ball begins to wiggle violently.

“Yes, yes, I am alright.  No need for this cocoon,” the male voice says and an arm shoots out from underneath.  It is followed by a leg.  She tilts her head as the red covering seems to unfold itself from around the source of the voice.

She raises the extinguisher expecting the worse.

Then makes a face at what she sees.

“You don’t look like an alien,” she states (a silly thing to say considering the last ‘alien’ she met had a heck of a six pack).

The man finally seems to acknowledge her.  His head turns quickly so he is looking directly at her.  “Excuse me?”

“Alien,” she says slowly, wondering if his birth through a sparkly circus hoop has damaged his hearing.  “You don’t look like an alien.”

He stands (oh boy he’s tall).  There is a furious patting down of his arms and she realizes that that red thing is a cape.  Not a Thor cape either.  This one seems to be alive because it is helping its wearer get rid of any proof he has sprayed down.  He finally looks to her again.  “That is because I am not.”

Huh, that’s new.

“So...you’re...not from Asgard?” She asks, throwing in one last ditch effort for an explanation that would at least make sense to her.

“No, I am not Asgardian,” he assures her.  “I’m Stephen Strange.”

“Got that right,” she immediately retorts, noting that he has a particularly interesting take on facial hair.

He levels a dirty look in her direction.  “Doctor Stephen Strange.”

Darcy hasn’t let up on her grip on the fire extinguisher.  “Darcy Lewis.” 

For a moment she thinks he looks wounded that she hasn’t recognized him.  Then he straightens himself up. “Not Jane Foster then?  Where is she?”

“Sleeping.  Like most people do at this time of night,” Darcy tells him.  She blinks again and then wonders why she is answering his questions.  “Okay, hold up --- just what the hell are you doing here?  And did you seriously come through...nothing?”

There is a hint of a grin on his face.  “No, I did not come from nothing.  That would be physically impossible.  I am afraid that the true explanation is complicated...”

“I work with a world renowned astrophysicist.  Try me.”

He must take it as a challenge (good, she has meant it as one).  “I have the ability to travel throughout various dimensions ---”

“Stop.  Stop right there,” Darcy says, raising the hand holding the nozzle of the extinguisher.  “I am either too tired or not drunk enough to discuss the idea of traveling between dimensions.” She knows of traveling between worlds --- but that’s different then dimensions (or she really has misunderstood the foundation of Jane’s research; entirely possible).  “Let’s just focus on the first question: what the hell are you doing here?”

“Jane Foster is currently working on establishing contact between Earth and various other worlds,” Stephen states.  “Fascinating science really --- almost within the realm of the fantastical...”  

When he shifts his weight, she swings the fire extinguisher over her shoulder, wielding it like a baseball bat.  “How do you know that?”

“Are you going to hit me with that?”

“Right in that goateed face of yours,” Darcy confirms.  “Pro Tip: Tony Stark does it better.”

Stephen appears to weigh his options and then holds up both hands.  “I truly did not come here for nefarious purposes.”  

“Most non-nefarious people use the door,” Darcy points out.

He clucks his tongue.  “--- hardly as convenient.”

Her initial burst of adrenaline is starting to wear off and the exhaustion is creeping in to take its place.  “Look, Doctor Strange, if you want to discuss science with Jane make an appointment with her assistant.  Which is me by the way.  Sorry to stay she’s busy for the next decade or so.  So you and your...cape thing...” Did it just ruffle at Darcy’s words? “...are shit out of luck.”

“Oh I don’t want to discuss,” Stephen corrects.  “Not yet.  I just want to go over notes.  See if she has made any progress since last time...”

Since last time?

It dawns on her.  

“This isn’t your first time fire jumping your way in here, is it?” She asks, horrified.  “You...come here when we are sleeping?”

He seems to realize the implications of her accusation.  “Well...just once.  And only for a minute or two.”

Darcy screws her face up.  “Oh you absolute creep!” She swings the extinguisher now.  It is a clumsy attempt and goes wide.  Still the goddamn cape swipes out and knocks the thing from her hands.  She is left standing there open mouthed and filled with an odd mixture of fury and confusion.  “That thing...that’s the alien.”

Stephen furrows his brows.  “You might be right on that.”  One of the flaps springs up, knocking itself off his cheek.  “Don’t take it personally.” He paws at it until it returns to normal. 

Then he is looking at Darcy intently.  She realizes she is standing there in a pair of underwear and her Culver t-shirt.  Not exactly her best look considering the situation.  She is about to give him hell when she realizes he is not looking at her.  He is looking past her.  She glances over her shoulder to find what has caught his attention.  

The doohickey of importance.

“She managed to get it working,” he states with just the right amount of awe to have Darcy beaming proudly.

“Of course she did.”

Stephen makes a move towards it and Darcy yelps, throwing herself between the strange man and Jane’s current reason for living. 

“No touching!” She tells him, pressing her hands on his chest (impressive pecks for someone whose cape does the fighting for him).  She squirms to turn around.  “Actually I was just shutting it down for the night...” She extends her finger to press the circle button once more.

“No! No! Don’t do that!” Stephen’s voice is loud and Darcy jumps, banging her hip into the side of the table.  She turns to give him a dirty look.  “I mean --- by all means, press it if you wish to find yourself in multiple pieces.”

Okay, first thing tomorrow: Jane is labeling the buttons.

Stephen reaches around her and presses the square bottom on the top.  The blinking stops and the machine makes a noise that she can only equate to powering down.  “There,” he says with a rather large smile.  “Perfectly safe.”

“ --- thanks,” she deadpans.  “Now get the hell out.”

“I suppose that is the best thing to do,” Stephen concedes.  He steps back and goes into a stance that has Darcy snorting out a giggle, despite everything.  He glares in her direction and then eloquently flicks his wrist.  Seconds later those sparks reappear and form a circle.

She can see the Empire State Building in the center of it.

That shuts her up.

He grins once more and steps towards it.  

Darcy finally finds her voice.  “...and no more middle of the night...these things...” She makes a circular motion towards at the impossible thing hovering in the middle of the lab.  “You want to visit, you make an appointment.  I’m serious.  I’m setting up motion detectors and everything.”

Okay, Jane will set them up.

Stephen gives a nod of his head.  Then steps through the circle.  Moments later it fades until there are only a few sparks left.  She can’t help but stick her finger out to let one touch her finger as it falls.  She hisses as it burns her skin.

She leaves the lab as it is (white foam on the floor, fire extinguisher lying haphazardly next to the computer tower) and hits the lights.  She needs her bed.  Badly.  She repeats Jane’s actions and practically throws herself at it.  

She finds herself suckling her singed finger as she thinks over the entire crazy encounter.

In the end, she decides that yep, sparks are definitely bad.