so you don't get lost (steddie ficlet)
written for @steddielovemonth day 17
rating: T
cw: alcohol
tags: first kiss, clubbing, college au, platonic stobin
prompt: Love is about a hand reaching out to you so you don't get lost
“She’s totally into me, right?” Robin asks as they wait for their drinks at the bar, her smile a mile wide, and it’s been a minute since Steve’s seen her smile like that.
“Yeah, totally,” Steve agrees. The girl Robin’s been talking to all night is drifting back over to them even as they speak, the two of them like magnets since they first traded smiles on the dance floor earlier that night.
Robin glances back at her and bites back a wider grin. She bounces on her tippy toes and whispers to Steve, “If I make out with her it’s not gonna make you feel awkward, is it?”
Steve shakes his head. “Go ahead,” he encourages.
It had been a group effort to get Robin out tonight. Her university friends had enlisted Steve to help drag her out of the mopey funk she’d been in since getting broken up with two weeks ago, and it had taken an hour of Steve hyping her up while she kept crying off her attempts to do her makeup before she finally managed to make it to the club. He’s just glad it had been worth it.
“I don’t even know if I remember how to do this,” Robin mutters, a little nervously, as she and Steve grab their drinks and rejoin her friends on the dance floor. But it turns out, she has nothing to worry about. The two girls resume their orbit around each other, and the second the next beat drops and the lights strobe, the other girl finally pulls Robin into a heated kiss. Steve watches this, and he smiles fondly. She deserves it. He’s happy for her.
And he’s totally not jealous. Not necessarily of Robin, obviously, or the girl she’s kissing, but simply of the fact that they’ve so easily found a hot drunk stranger to make out with at the club and he…hasn’t. He can’t even remember the last time he’s had a decent kiss, much less scored at a club, though not for not wanting to.
Steve finds himself glancing at Robin’s friend Eddie, the tatted-up metalhead Steve’s felt a pull towards since the first time they’d met. He thinks about kissing him every time they’re out together, and maybe there was a time when Steve would’ve just gone for it, a time before he’d taken a few too many hits to the ego and developed doubts and insecurities, but now the thought just makes him nervous. Eddie makes him nervous.
He feels that nervousness now as Eddie catches him staring and he shakes those lovely dark curls out of his face and smiles at him. It bubbles in his stomach, flutters in his chest. Steve downs the rest of his drink and looks away. The alcohol floods heat through his veins and blurs his vision, but the ever-present thrum of anxiety just from being in Eddie’s proximity still isn’t dulled. He bobs numbly to the music, avoiding looking at anybody at all now, only staring at the floor or the wall or some super fascinating point just above everyone’s heads, sure he looks like an absolute freak.
It goes beyond just wanting to kiss Eddie; Steve’s not stupid, he knows the only explanation for this sheer amount of nervousness he feels around him is that he’s got an actual, proper crush. Because not only is Eddie super fucking hot, he’s also sweet. Steve is an outsider in this group and he knows it, the college dropout who only tags along because Robin insists on it, but Eddie never makes him feel like that. It’s always Eddie who makes sure he’s included in conversations, always Eddie who makes a point to loop Steve into the context of inside jokes and stories whenever Robin is too distracted to. Steve craves those interactions, gets a thrill every time Eddie so much as speaks to him. So he doesn’t only want to kiss him, he also just wants Eddie to like him, wants him to see him as a friend at the very least. But it’s not like they’ve ever even hung out outside of a group setting, and sometimes Steve fears Eddie’s just being nice and he doesn’t actually see him as anything at all.
Steve’s drifted so far into his own head he doesn’t realize his group is on the move, pushing deeper into the dance floor and leaving him behind.
“Steve!” Eddie’s voice calls out to him and snaps him out of it. Everyone else has been taken by the crowd, but Eddie hangs back, reaching his hand out to Steve.
Steve takes it, swallowing down the way his heart pounds as Eddie’s fingers curl around his hand. Eddie pulls him through the throng of jostling, sweaty bodies, and even though he maintains a tight grip on Steve’s hand, he still keeps looking back at him like he’s making extra sure Steve doesn’t get lost. Warmth blooms in Steve’s chest. Maybe he’s just drunk, maybe he’s just delusional, but all of the sudden he feels so very very cared for.
“Thanks,” Steve says, nearly shouting to be heard over the music.
“‘Course.” Eddie smiles as he turns around to face him. They’ve caught up to their friends now, but he’s still holding Steve’s hand. “I’d never just leave you stranded.”
Of course he wouldn’t. He never has before. Steve just smiles back and squeezes Eddie’s hand.
They’ve only just let go of each other when Robin and her girl, still kissing clumsily and staggering about the dance floor, stumble straight into Steve and knock him off balance. “Woah!” Eddie reaches for him again instantly, looping an arm around Steve’s waist to keep him from toppling over or careening into the crowd.
“Ah! Sorry!” Robin giggles before she’s whisked away again.
Eddie laughs. “Good for her, right?”
“Yeah, good for her,” Steve says, watching his best friend spin out of sight, and when he looks back he startles at how close he and Eddie are, suddenly very aware of Eddie’s arm around his waist and his hands on Eddie’s chest.
“You okay?” Eddie asks, his grip on Steve tightening like he means to steady him.
“Yeah, thanks again.” Steve regains his footing, but he doesn’t pull away. There’s something there, he thinks, in the way Eddie’s always reaching out to him so he doesn’t get lost, literally and figuratively, in crowds and conversations. It could just be friendly, it could just be nothing, but for the first time, Steve lets himself hope. He even thinks about leaning in right now, but then he thinks about it too much, and he doesn’t.
Instead, there’s a weird moment where they’re both just staring at each other. Eddie’s got this confused little smile on his face like he’s waiting to see what Steve will do, and when Steve doesn’t do anything, Eddie’s smile abruptly becomes more playful as if he’s trying to break the tension, and he starts theatrically swaying them to the music, even though it is most definitely not the swaying sort of beat. Steve laughs, his racing heart making it come out giddy and giggly, especially when Eddie drops his waist to grab his hand and twirl him around.
Eddie pulls him in close again then, and this time Steve doesn’t think at all. In fact, it’s unclear which one of them leans in first; all Steve knows is that their lips finally, finally meet in the middle and he finally, finally gets to tangle his hands in Eddie’s hair, and it’s sweet and it’s hungry and it’s absolutely perfect. Steve holds onto Eddie and he gets lost in him.
When Steve meets back up with Robin outside after the club closes, they exchange a celebratory, congratulatory high five, the both of them with matching kiss-swollen lips and dates set for next week.
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guys guess what my favorite fall out boy album is. you’ll NEVER get it.
(reblogs greatly appreciated!!)
alternate versions and commentary under the cut!
it was pretty easy designing a poster for “Take a Vacation!” (which is another cool album by the young veins and you guys should TOTALLY check out my art for that hehehe) but I had SO MUCH trouble with “So Much (For) Stardust” —i had to listen to that album on loop for like two whole entire days to figure out what I wanted to do with it. i have too many thumbnails to count (and a WHOLE page of notes about the album) but the design you see w/ the bubble genuinely came to me in a dream as i was about to sleep. go figure huh
anyway, the bubble popping is supposed to mimic the look of stardust (or, at least, what I imagine stardust to look like), and the bubbles are a callback to the official album cover!! it was actually my first time drawing bubbles, so it was a bit of a challenge (read: a huge pain in my ass. i’m not even getting paid for this, i put myself through that WILLINGLY). all the writing is hand-lettered except for their names (that was in canva LOL!)
also, just a side note, my fav fob album is cork tree, i just reeeeeaalllly wanted to make art to this one.
here are some of the (basically unhelpful and illegible but cool) notes i took on the album:
and here’s the concept that I scribbled right before passing out! (it’s. rough.)
anyway that’s it byeeeeee!!!!!! (and go stream so much (for) stardust!)
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Bwaaah!! Kai and Nya designs for my au!!
I always loved Nya as Samurai-X, so in my au she gets to be a Samurai again, as a treat (Pixal still gets to be there as a Samurai too, don't worry 👍)
While these are mainly based off of their original season 7 outfits, I went a little bit farther on changing Kai's because I had a Specific Idea in mind that will sorta influence how the twins (specifically Acronix) react to him because he is Ray's son, along with Kai's own conflicted feelings over his parents
Hhmmmmmmmm you know what heres those old Ray and Maya sketches too (from like, ,, late March?)
Also yeah!! In my au, during the first serpentine war Acronix and Krux were good friends with Ray and Maya. Which makes everything that happened later hurt alot more, unfortunately
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I recently watched the trailer for OFMD season 2 and was suddenly struck by the tangible difference between OFMD and Good Omens. I'll start off by saying that I'm definitely more into GO than OFMD--though I've seen all of the episodes (so far) of each--but there is something about OFMD that I think really sets it apart from GO 2, which is that OFMD doesn't apologize for its queerness, whereas GO still does.
(It should go without saying, but this does not apply to Michael and David, whom I feel solidly fall under the category of being entirely unapologetic in portraying Aziraphale and Crowley and their relationship.)
But articles like this (which Neil actually had the cojones to share recently) that claim homophobia "doesn't exist" in Good Omens entirely miss the point, which is that it does exist in the world of GO--Shadwell calling Aziraphale a "southern pansy," for instance--and that Michael and David are showing these characters to be who they are in the face of homophobia in the form of religious repression. And while homophobia exists in OFMD as well, GO clings to a sense of nicety, of apologizing to the straight audience Neil is still aiming to reach, whereas OFMD does not care one bit about appealing to a straight audience.
OFMD is unafraid to tell a straight audience "This is not for you. You can enjoy it all you like, but we are not doing this for your approval." In OFMD, you have characters of every flavor of queerness who are just able to be who they are, without having a label affixed or checking a box (lesbians, enby folks, gay people, and so on). The actors are able to define the characters in their own unique ways--Jim with a beard drawn on with kohl, Wee John dressed as Divine in drag--so that being queer is not the main focus of who the characters are, but rather what allows them to be who they are, and the audience is trusted to understand that. I do not feel that this is the case with GO, and the result is constant fighting and policing over pronouns and identities, despite the fact that none of it would matter at all if people stopped relying on Neil to define the characters for them.
Yes, I know they're very different shows and characters. But watching the trailer for OFMD 2, I didn't feel like I had to worry about being disappointed, or that I had to search for the queer representation, because it was already there...
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