#it was not true

[seadem-on]

.

[jessepinwheel]

I love it when people use "shrimp" to mean "beyond the human range". like "shrimp colors" but applied to other things. "shrimp emotions" "shrimp sounds" "shrimp morality", as if shrimp are living some kind of transcendent existence that humans can never comprehend

[roach-works]

speculative fiction writers i am going to give you a really urgent piece of advice: don't say numbers. don't give your readers any numbers. how heavy is the sword? lots. how old is that city? plenty. how big is the fort? massive. how fast is the spaceship? not very, it's secondhand.

the minute you say a number your readers can check your math and you cannot do math better than your most autistic critic. i guarantee. don't let your readers do any math. when did something happen? awhile ago. how many bullets can that gun fire? trick question, it shoots lasers, and it shoots em HARD.

you are lying to people for fun. if you let them do math at you the lie collapses and it's no fun anymore.

[androgynealienfemme]

It didn’t hit me until recently that people genuinely think Kamala Harris was a police officer because of all the people who call her a cop online.

Like I think maybe it’s important people should know she was a prosecutor. She was once a district attorney and later an attorney general for the state of California. And we can discuss how related that is to police work and how tied she is to the carceral system etc etc (but for fairness would have to include her record of pushing for lowering incarceration rates through programs helping former prisoners + her office refusing to jail folks for low level weed offense). But she was never a police officer. Like people should get that clear. Kamala Harris was never a police officer. She was a district attorney. She was never a police officer.

[willabee]

[chongoblog]

Me, after forgetting to cut the top off an onion before dicing it: “Aw dammit”

The Gordon Ramsey that lives in my head: “Don’t worry there, this mistake isn’t going to ruin anything. No need to be too hard on yourself”

Me: “Wow, that’s…not what I was expecting”

Gordon: “Of course, you ought to know by now that I don’t shout at cooks just to do so. I do it because the people in hit television show Kitchen Nightmares are putting their services out into the public and claim to be good enough to have the title of head chef. You’re just some guy in your twenties making beef stroganoff for yourself and your roommate. I’m kind of a dick, yeah, but I’m not gonna scream at you for a minor mistake like this”

Me: “Oh….well…thanks”

Gordon: “You’re welcome…cunt…”

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[animusrox]

"You Missed the Point by Idolizing Them" Starter Pack

[correctopinionhaver]

[lizardsfromspace]

The best resolution to a missing persons case ever was that developmentally disabled person who walked off in 1986 saying he "wanted to be a cowboy in Texas", starting a twenty-one year search for him on the assumption he died somewhere in the desert or was murdered, only for everyone to discover that he had spent those decades working as a cowboy on a ranch in Texas. Missing persons investigators rarely consider that maybe they achieved their dreams

[gamejoypod]

Amaury "Chocolate Guy" Guichon is undoubtedly an extremely skilled sculptor in chocolate but I think my favorite thing about a lot of his videos is the effort he puts into putting actual dessert food under the sculpture work

So many of his desserts & pastries have at least 5 layers of different textures & flavors. Fruit jams, caramel, cake, creams, mousse, cookies, meringue, crumb layers etc

That's what makes his work truly impressive to me, especially as someone who quickly got tired of the "knife that turns everything into cake" thing, where it was all basic chocolate cake buried under 13 layers of fondant

It takes amaury's work from an impressive stunt to "if I ate that, it would probably be the best thing I'd eat in my whole life"

[savaralyn2]

Dungeon Meshi - Happy New Year 2024!

[loathsome-sickness]

"people show their true colours in life threatening situations" no, they show you what they act like when they're mortally terrified, an emotion notorious for literally turning your entire brain off to the point where people who go into those situations as a profession need to be literally trained on how to not have that happen

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

License to Kitty.

[sambuchito]

the thing is.. it is the humidity that gets you...

[christadeguchi]

make men slutty again.

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bonus as rightfully added by @polyabathtub: