#it was one of the best concerts ive ever been to and I cannot wait to see them again

[jaarijani]

Joker Out in Melkweg Amsterdam 06/12/23

[prettiestboyreid]

fics that have altered my brain chemistry (eddies/joe qs version)

okay so ive been in an adhd brain rot?? where im just fucking HORRIBLE at reblogging fics that i enjoy and honestly it was my whole reasoning behind making this blog FOR GIVING WRITERS THE LOVE THEY DESERVE i just wanted to give a shoutout to these writers (and stories) they’ve made that just fucking messed with my brain (and in a good way okay??) over these last few months. please check them out and give them all the fucking love they deserve

like a poem (FINISHED series, but sometimes if you ask nice enough she will throw a blurb in there) - im so very fucking biased because i love her to the moon and back, but she writes the best fucking stories of joe that will keep you up all night having you rethinking all of your life choices. IT WAS VERY HARD FOR ME to pick out a story that i wanted to highlight in this post, but the whole reason i fell in love with her writing was because of bookstore!joe and he will ALWAYS have a special place in my heart. love you boo

plot: “Joe finds solace in a quaint bookstore, your bookstore, from a hectic situation in the streets. But, you’re closed. But then also, it’s Joseph Quinn.“ from the authors page

echoes (FINISHED, series) - again im so very fucking biased because she is the sweetest person you will have the pleasure of knowing BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT - she writes so fucking beautifully she will literally have you CRY and this will forever and always be my favourite fic of hers. she deserves all the love she gets, and then even more so read it!!!! (she will make you cry its not on me tho)

plot: “When she laid her emotions out for her best friend, the last thing she expected was for him to turn around, walk away and never speak to her again. Years after, they meet again - different people, different feelings. Or are they?” from the authors page

the hideout (FINISHED, oneshot)- this was one of the first fics i read and fell in love with. it was in that timeperiod where all i could do 24/7 was read eddie munson fanfics and this was one of those fics where i went “holy SHIT??” and honestly i dont think there will ever be a time where this isnt just some % on my mind??

plot: “Eddie Munson made it big. Now, when he returns to Hawkins for a hometown concert with his band, he is reminded of the girl he’s been in love with for the past 6 years when Steve Harrington calls.” from the authors page

vintage reeboks (FINISHED) - this is one of those fics where you’re like???? holy shit i wish i’d come up with that?? i remember reading all of this in one day (summertime, sweating very fucking much) and its just?? holy shit its perfect?? the way eddie is in this??? and its something i could never think of would be this perfect?? i swear i think of this fic at least once a day??

plot: “The gate at the bottom of Lover’s Lake was meant to spit the quartet out in the Upside Down. Steve, Nancy, and Robin were meant to be there. He wasn’t meant to be alone. But when Eddie comes to on the shoreline, you’re there. It’s not the Upside Down. It’s not Lover’s Lake. It’s not 1986.” from the authors page

twenty four hours (STILL GOING) - the way this has me in a chokehold?? im a fucking sucker for when fics have a nice layout??? and this is just so pretty to look at?? like whenever i see its been updated my whole body is SHAKING?? i dont even know what to say?? this is just so amazing and the whole?? will they wont they?? i love them?? i want them both to fight with me all night long??? i CANNOT wait to see where this ends

plot: “in which eddie munson and you absolutely hate each other's guts. what happens when your friends make a bet that you can't spend more than twenty four hours consecutively together?” from the authors page

to know you’re mine (FINISHED) - i saw someone talk about this in the “eddie munson x reader” tag, and DEVOURED the chapters that were up in one whole day?? the way eddie is so fucking soft and nice and the best fucking gentleman in this?? and also?? the relationship to steve in this is amazing??? but THE RELATIONSHIP TO EDDIE IS EVEN MORE AMAZING?? such a fucking fantastic author please go EAT all the chapters right now

plot: “You know the rules. You'd been there when your boyfriend, Steve Harrington, discussed them with the others. There are only two.Number one: Only play when everyone's together. Number two: No finishing inside each other's girls.You'd agreed to these rules, same as Chrissy. Same as Eddie.But then there's rule number three, and though it remains unspoken, it's by far the most important. And you have that feeling again, like when you propped yourself up against the barstool, straining to see him on that stage, craning for a glimpse as his husky voice reached inside you. Now, his dark eyes are doing the same thing: pulling at something buried deep, tugging it into the light where it can't be hidden. And, sure, of course, you didn't intend this. But what are intentions in the face of such things? Needless to say, every rule gets broken.” from the authors page

the customer’s always right (STILL GOING) - hehhehe im a hoe for cutie virgin eddie??? but they way she always manages to capture eddie in her fics?? fucking amazing??? and her writing??? yes PLEASE so do yourself a favor on this fine friday AND READ THIS AMAZING FUCKING SERIES because eddie will make you fall in love in this???

plot: “eddie munson is a virgin and doesn’t want anyone to know (because being an adult who’s never fucked anyone is a total reputation ruiner). but you, his favorite customer, are more than willing to change that.” from the authors page

sincerely yours... (STILL GOING) - like i’ve told her before - her eddie is fucking amazing and so very much to the point!! im so excited for this one and cannot WAIT to see where eddies teasing will make him end up!! the last fucking part of this??? amazing

plot: "Untouchable, is what he called you. Dating Jason, the captain of the basketball tea, most would call you the same. Living your holier than thour life, something else he said, you can’t seem to swallow the need to prove him wrong” from the authors page

burn one (FINISHED) - this is just the perfect fucking combination of smutty and sweet??? like this is just how i imagine eddie and this is so fucking sweet and perfect?? had me thinking about this for WEEKS UGH

plot: "When you move to Hawkins to start over, your new unexpected friendship with your weed dealer next door is your saving grace. It was never your intention to fall in love with him though.” from the authors page

Disjointed (STILL GOING) - this fic has me feeling ALL the feels in all the chapters?? makes me GIGGLE, makes me CRY!!!, i’m in love with all the chapters and i CANNOT WAIT to see them live happily every after

also now that i’ve finished, i’ve just realised this is a lovepoem to my favourite authors on this app heheheh im sorry but i DO love you guys. please do go and read their stories, and send them all the fucking love in the world!! they do have so many amazing stories on their masterlist you will not be able to sleep tonight!!!

authors mentioned in this post THAT YOU NEED TO CHECK OUT!!: @icallhimjoey @ghostinthebackofyourhead​ @inknopewetrust @storiesbyrhi​ @ghost-proofbaby​ @blue-mossbird @lovebugism​ @plumxwrites​ @loveshotzz​ @boomhauer

[okaylikesmomo]

Let's get some positivity going! What are some of your personal favorite K-pop moments from 2023?! An interaction? A song or album? Meet your fave? Attended a concert, festival or fansign?

This was another lovely year for LE SSERAFIM, especially with Perfect Night topping charts. Initially I felt like it didn't get nearly as much attention as I expected, but that might just be because I loved the song after first listen. Still my number one group at the moment, I can't get enough of them.

New Jeans didn't do too much in the later part of the year that I was interested in, their latest album didn't hit as hard for me, but I cannot wait to see what they have in store for the next year. They're still one of the best groups to enter Kpop ever in my humble opinion.

We got a Taeyeon album not too long ago! I've been waiting for new Taeyeon music for so long, and finally it's here. Despite the mental hype I built up, she once again managed to live up to my absurd expectations. Queen of Kpop honestly.

IVE, Itzy, and Blackpink dipped pretty hard in terms of my interest, but let's keep it positive and move on!

My personal favorite moment of the year has to be the Twice tour in NA. They are absolutely amazing live, no one can deny that. Fan or not, I think everyone can enjoy their concerts. The energy, the fun, the effort, and the experience, all topped off with some of the best visuals in the industry performing iconic choreo. Chef's kiss.

The latter half of the year had me too busy to really keep up with Kpop unfortunately, minus a few exceptions, but these are some of my personal memorable moments.

[thesoupman]

hoolyshittt dni this song isso good 🤤🤤my friendhas problemswith winter and autumnthey give him prescriptions theyshine brigth lightson him they say its genetic theysay he cant ehlp it theysay yoiu can catch it but sometimes youre bornwith it 🤤🤤🤤myfriend has spite hegets shakes inthe night and thgy say theres no way thatthey couldhave caught itintime takesits toll on himit is inherited predispositional 🤤🤤🤤allday ive been wonderign what isinside of me who can ibalme for it i say itruns in the family thjs familythat carries me to suchgreat lengths toopen my legs up to anyone wholl have me itsruns in the family i comeby it honestly do what youwant cause who knows it might fill me up me up me up me up meup meupfill me up me up me upme up🤤🤤myfreidnds depressed shes a wreck shessa mess thyve done all sorts of testsand they guess it has soemthing to do with her grandmothers grandfathers grandmothersaving civil war soldier who probably infectedher🤤🤤my friend has maladies ricketsand allergies thatshe dates back tothe 17th century somehow she manages inher misery shestrips inthe city andshares all her best tricks withme well imwell well imean ijm inhell well istill have my health at least thatswhat they tell me 🤤if wellness is this what in hellsname is sickness but business is business and business runs inthe family🤤🤤🤤🤤we tendto bruise easily bad in theblood 🤤🤤im telling youcause i jstwant you to know me know meand my family were wonderful folks justdont get too close causeyou might knock me upmeup me up me up me up 🤤knock me upo me upme up me up me up me up🤤🤤🤤 mary have mercy now look what ive done but dont blame me because i cant helpwhere i come from agnd running is something that weve always done wellamd mostly icant even tell what imrunnign from 🤤runfrom the city from responsibility runfrom the country and runfrom the city🤤🤤ican run from the law i canrun from mysefl i can run from my lifei can run into debt 🤤ican run from it all i can run tillim gone i can run for the office and run for my cause ican run using every last ounceof energy i cannot icannot i cannot runfrom my family🤤🤤🤤🤤 theyre hidign inside of mecorpses on ice come in if youd like but just dont tell my family🤤 theydnever forgive me theyd say that im crazy butthey would say anything if itwould shut me up🤤🤤🤤shut meup 🤤🤤🤤shut meup me up me up me up me up meup meup🤤🤤🤤 shutme up me up me up me up meup me up🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤

I am madly in love aitj you

. A concert foryou my wheen.

I'm aw man i forgot my water. The songn is starting wait. Im thirsty but ther TOWJJMPS I A WEEKIBET YOU THINK THSTS PRETTY FLEBER DOMT YOU BOYY j aantmy water FLYING ALONG THE MOTOROECSYWATCHINF THE GRLUND BENEATH YOU DROP?? YOUD MILL YOURSELF FOR RECOGNITOM?? MILLYOURSELF TL ENVER EVER START ple i ewant my eate YLUVE BROKENA NOTHER MIRROR THENING INTO SKMETTHINF YOUA RE NOT im so thristy fuck DONT LEAVE ME HIGHHHHHHHHH DONT LEAVE ME DRYYYYYY im dry i want my WAYER OFNTKEAVE ME DHIGIHHHHHHHH . FONT LEAVE ME SRY. ok theres music ji got my water

Yayy :3 🎸🎸🎸🎸

Drying upand COMEBEDYPU WILL BE THE OME CANNOT TALK?? i dk the lyrics ALL YOUR INSIDE FALL TO PUEEV YOU JUST SITTING YOU COULD STILL

Mame loveTHEIRRS THE ONESHWOLL HATE YOU WHEN YOU THINK YOU WORLD UP?? i dont know the fucking lyrics THEYRE THE ONES WHOSIT TYPU WILL SCREAMING OUTTTT DONT LEAVE ME HIGHHHHHHH DONT LEAVE ME DRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY SONT LEAVE ME HIGHHHHHHHHHJHHHH DONT LEAVE ME DRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸kitten i dont know the freaking lyrics im just typing what i hear golly goshj

Freak mode activated

OHHJ ITS THE BEST THAT YOU EVER AHDT THE BETS THAT YOU EVER EVER HADDDD ITS THE BEST THATYOUVE EBER HAD THE BEST YOU HAVE HAD HAS GONE AWAYYY SO DONT LEAVE ME HIGHHHHHHHHHJHHHHH DONR LEABE ME DRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYDOMT LEABE ME HIGHHGHHBHGHHHHHH . DONT LEAVE ME DRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

DOKT LEAVE ME HIGH!!-!!!!!!!DONT LEAVE ME HIGHHH DONT LEAVE ME DRY .

[icyfox17]

1, 4, 8, 22, 26, 29, 30, 32, 35, 40, 52, 58 (It’s Golden Hour Somewhere :) and 61 (Wilbur Soot and Lovejoy!)

I know that’s a hekkin ton, so you don’t have to answer all of them XD

1. Are you an albums person or a singles person?

Albums !!! I think . askdfjksd

4. Is there a song you love but don't like its music video?

oh i am sure there are lots... especially songs from when i was a kid bc radio music always has hypersexualised music videos and those always made me feel so so uncomfy... can't think of an example rn though :0

8. Is there an artist or song that you like, despite being of a genre you don't usually like?

OOOHH HTHIS IS AN INTERESTING QUESTION HMM

Scared of the Dark by lil wayna, ty dollar sign, and xxx. i do Not like mumble rap and i really didn't like the verses but the CHORUS WAS SOOO GOUGHOGHOUGHOG EXPLODES that i listened to it on repeat and now i love the song (even tho i find the guys voice in the verse funny)

29. Songs you love to dance to:

funny you should ask that bc i have a playlist~ ... I JUST DELETED IT BY ACCIDENT FUCKKKKKK AWOFEIJAWEFLK

anyways. i will fix that later welp KFJSAKDJF

come on eileen by dexys midnight runners is A CLASSIC AND MUST BE ADDED IT'S THE BEST DANCING SONG EVER IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY AND EVER SINCE I READ BEES FIC HONEY AND TANGERINES IT MADE IT EVEN BETTER I CANNOT DO THIS RAHSSSSSS

disco by surf curse is another song that is just INSTANT DANCE VIBES how can u NOT dance to it

kiss goodnight by IDKHOW is another really lovely song that always makes me want to dance :)))

30. Songs you love to sing along to:

now this one i ALSO have a playlist and i will NOT delete it this time ohmgyod im actually so sad i loved my dancing playlist HELPS FDKJKJD

songs that are Simply Bangers hehehe this one's for when i just wanna shout lyrics at the top of my lungs

but for specific onesssss

Locked Outta Heaven by Bruno Mars // IT'S SO GOOD IT MAKES ME FEEL UNHINGED IL OVE IT SO MCHUH ABRKARKJWBAEKAWJKB unfortunately the lyrics make me feel Uncomfortable singing bc . major ace here woOOO but it's fine i just live in denial and try to remind myself that most ppl are actually yknow normal about sex unlike me LMAOFASJKFKJ

You Make My Dreams by Hall & Oats // literally any 80s song makes me so inexplicably happy and i Need to sing the lyrics aloud at the top of my lungs man

40. Which was the best concert you’ve ever been to?

i love ALL of the concerts ive been to but... half alive . half alive was SO FRICKEN COOL DAWGWGAOJIAWEAAEWR THE LIGHTS THE DANCING I CANT I CANNOT GET OVER IT IT WAS ONE OF THE GREATEST MOMENTS OF MY LIFE /SRS IT WAS INCREDIBLE OHMYOGDDD

52. Do you make playlists to be listened to in a specific order or in shuffle? Or both?

so i used to. hate shuffling. bc i am very very picky about the order of songs i listen to (like when i shuffle i will just . look at the queue and edit it intensely). so i used to make them for a specific order and actually one of my favourite things to do is figure out songs that transition super super nicely into each other oguhoguhgo so making a playlist that is perfect from start to finish is my dream... however rn i have such a big?? music taste??? that the playlists are so long and curating it to be the Perfect Experience would take too much time so now i just add shit and shuffle ofssdlkfd

58. Send me a song and I'll tell you the colors it made me think of, without looking at cover arts or music videos.

well that's just kinda unfair the word gold is literally in the title HELPPP but i picture the field that's in the music video (wait help "without looking at the music video" too late for that buddy it's engrained in my memory with how many times ive watched it), like that greenish colour that's what i think of yellowish green

but okay okay im turning it on now and the colours i get while listening to it is faded pastel yellow from the guitar intro, it turns more brownish orange in the verses, DEF a deep yellow/brown when the bass comes in

the chorus is green to me, the ooOooOOo is green and yellow to me

gosh i love golden hour

61. Make me choose between two artists/songs/albums.

ooohhh this one is hard bc like lovejoy has so much more stuff but wilbur soot changed my life

im choosing wilbur bc of since i saw vienna but do know that this hurt me asdjkfasdjkhf

[earthfluuke]

summary: individual ohmfong moments i couldn’t get out of my head.

everyone has been writing yearning fics (and i adore them so much), but i wanted to get some fluff out there. i hope you enjoy!

i.

it’s second nature for ohm to slide into any open seat at their group’s table. full plate in hand, he’s just about to dig in when he catches phuak’s questioning eye, and his fork freezes a breath from his food. the silent questioning raise of his eyebrow has phuak shaking his head and motioning a hand to the opposite side of the table.

“sit next to your boyfriend, dumb ass,” he says, followed by the mumble of, “no wonder none of your girlfriends stayed with you.”

eyes widening, he turns to fong who can only send him a forgiving smile. scrambling to move his things, he falls onto the bench beside him with a sigh. head hung, shoulder slumped, he works out quickly, “i’m sorry. it completely slipped my mind, and i–”

“it’s okay,” fong assures, understanding as ever. “it’s…different. but we’ll get there.” he slides a plastic cup across the table to him and knocks their shoulders together. “now stop sulking, and drink that.”

ohm rises a bit, reinflates. he’s only ever remembered fong coming to the table with a signature blue hawaii in hand. there is none in sight, only this. taking a sip, he can’t help but feel it tastes a bit sweeter than any other time he’s had it.

they’re not there yet; but they’re on their way.

ii.

“oh!” he hears ohm exclaim as they’re walking out of their classroom towards the football field. just as he turns to ask what’s wrong, he feels a hand grab onto his.

eyes shooting down to the space between them, fong takes notice of how ohm’s fingers fit between his and curl over more than half of his knuckles. he soaks in the warmth ohm’s palm presses into his own and the feel of his thumb stroking up to his nail and back down again. he’s never held someone’s hand before, save for his parents a long, much younger time ago, so he doesn’t have much to compare to. even so, he doesn’t think any other hand would feel as nice. this is the hand he wants to hold forever.

allowing his fingers to close and rest between the ridges of ohm’s knuckles, he tightens his hold when ohm gives their arms an experimental swing.

“we’re boyfriends now,” he explains. “that means we get to hold hands.”

 it’s so innocent, so simple, but knowing that doesn’t help in slowing fong’s heart.

iii.

fong knows he has a very handsome boyfriend. it’s difficult to ignore when they’re meant to be studying in the library. ohm has a hand in his hair, head rested against his palm as a finger taps in concentration. his lips move with each word he reads, tongue sticking between his teeth when he gets to an exceptionally difficult section.

it’s too much sometimes, to just sit there and stare. actions have never been his strong suit; observations are more his style, but it’s not enough. leaning past the edge of his chair, he smooths a hand under ohm’s chin and up the cheek farthest from him. he pulls him the small distance he needs to in order to press a gentle kiss to the cheek facing him.

he hides the laugh that’s building in his throat when he moves back to find ohm wide eyed and stunned. the hand in his hair has slid down to where fong’s lips just grazed, and fong has to turn away from him to hide his pink cheeks and silly smile.

“i’m going to get some snacks. do you want anything?” ohm is too dazed to respond, so fong pushes back his chair and scurries off to the vending machines. it’ll give him the chance to calm down.

(and if he comes back with a few choice snacks he knows to be ohm’s favorites, then that’s just a bonus).

iv.  

when fong is fast asleep, ohm can’t help but prop himself up on his arm and admire him. his bangs curl over his brow, and his cheek buries further into the pillow when there’s an especially cool breeze from the air conditioner. dark lashes fan over tan skin, full peach lips puffing out calm, even breaths. one hand clutches the blanket closer to him while the other lays on the sheets as though it’s looking for something.

he’s as gorgeous as he always is, but there’s something more special about a beauty that only ohm gets to see. there is a constant pull of wanting to grab onto that hand, remind him that what he’s reaching for is right beside him. but he cannot will himself to disturb him and instead resigns himself to only stare. he’s done enough to last him a lifetime, but he doesn’t think he’ll ever tire of it; not if he’s staring at fong.

v.

“beautiful. sweetheart. babe. love!”

“um,” tine clears his throat, looking from ohm’s wide, hopeful grin to the top of fong’s head, the only part of him visible from behind the pages of the book he’s using to hide. “what are you doing?”

“trying to figure out which name i like the most,” fong mumbles from behind his book, clutching the binding a bit tighter when ohm throws an arm around his shoulders.

“the secret is that he likes all of them,” he says, continuing over fong’s protests, “i just need to find out which one he likes the best.”

it picks up again from there, in front of their friends no less. all fong can do is let him go on and on, each name more blush inducing than the last, and hope his novel does a good enough job masking how much he’s enjoying this.

vi.

“i’ll see you for dinner after my group meeting. okay, tilak?”

“yeah, sure – wait, what? hey! fong!”

vii.

fong is always a vision, but this. this. this is something completely different and so very far from even his wildest of dreams.

his sweater – a light beige with a v-neck that dips lower without the collar of the shirt he normally wears underneath it poking out – hangs loose around fong’s smaller frame. the shoulders pool upwards, the sleeves drape over his fingers, the hem hits far past the bottom of his torso. it doesn’t fit at all, and yet it does. there is something so right about coming out of the shower and finding fong lying on his bed, homework papers strewn out across the sheets and ohm’s sweater pooling up around his hips.

“i’m sorry,” fong is quick to say, fingers scrambling to tug it over his head. “it got cold, and it was the first thing i saw. i can give it back.”

“no.” he holds his hands out to steady fong more than himself. when the neck of the sweater stretches back down and he can see him, ohm sends him a smile. “it’s…it’s good. nice. it looks nice.”

“nice,” fong repeats. the very tips of his fingers, the only parts that peek out from beneath the sleeves, smooth over the fabric. his eyes soften, the tips of his mouth curving up. ohm can’t the tingling feeling that spreads through him.

viii.

that single strand of hair. it’s as lovely as it is distracting, for fong at the very least. he supposes ohm must have gotten used to it, takes notice of it the same way he does to the air around him. but it’s so out place and somehow so perfectly put that fong cannot help but admire it.

it’s a flame, stark black and contrast to his skin, that draws his hand towards it like a moth. ever so carefully, with just a graze of his fingers, he pushes it back into place. brushing over his ear, his hand buries beneath the hair parted against his scalp, dark locks blanketing over it.

only then does ohm look to him, realize that there had been something out of place he hadn’t seen. what he does see – feel, sense, know – is fong. and what a wonder that is, to be more noticeable, more important, more vital than the air. to be what ohm needs to breathe.

ix.

ever changing lights flicker across the concert venue. sarawat’s band is on stage, but they’re impossible to pay attention to when fong has all of his focus. he’s beautiful in every color he bathes in, but ohm can’t help but be partial to the mixture of yellow and orange.

fong has always been a bright light, a beacon, an ever-present warmth. the colors paint him as the sun he’s always been, the very center of ohm’s universe. head back, ears turned up to the music, his eyes reflect gold when he turns to ohm to tug him close and sway them along to the bass beneath their feet.

purple and blue remind him of late nights where they’d forgotten to close the blinds. green brings memories of lying in the grassy field in the back of their high school, when all ohm could rely on was stolen glances and accidental hand brushes he’d hold nearer and dearer to his heart than he should have. pink and red mix together, and all he can see is love coating over full cheeks and a fuller smile that he is lucky enough to have directed at him. and then it’s back to yellow, back to orange, back to warmth so hot ohm could burn.

it’s a heat like no other. all he can do to cool is curls a single arm around the small of fong’s back and pull him close enough for their foreheads to touch. his heart still roars with flames, engulfs him in a love hot enough to melt.

wrapping himself around him, fong comments, “you really like this song.”

and all ohm can do is hum, hold him tighter, and soak in his warmth. “i think it might be my favorite.”

x.

“how did you know?” fong asks. the two of them are staring up at the ceiling, peeling paint their replacement for stars. “that it was me, i mean.”

by all intents and purposes, it should be an easy enough question to answer. but it becomes difficult when it hits him that…it’s always been fong. there isn’t a moment where anyone else has taken refuge in his heart and made it their home.

“i don’t remember when it started. but i remember when i realized it couldn’t be anyone else.” the memory flashes behind his eyes in vivid detail, kept clean and clear from how many times he’s brought it back to the forefront of his mind. “new years eve of second year. after tine and phuak ditched us to find pretty girls to kiss at midnight.”

mouth agape when he looks to him, fong says in startled disbelief, “in your backyard when i almost burned my hand on that sparkler? that wasn’t as special as i was expecting. more embarrassing.”

“it wasn’t. and that’s why i knew. there didn’t need to be some big sign. i just knew that even in those simple moments, i wanted it to be you there with me. and,” ohm catches his eye, looks at him so he knows how much he means what he says, “it was the first time i got to see you smile. it wasn’t because of something stupid phuak did or something sweet tine said to you. it was just… because you were happy. i hadn’t seen anything that beautiful before.”

fong says nothing, only reaches down to grab his hand. but when he smiles – that smile – he tells ohm all he needs to know. it’s another one of those not so special moments; the two of them lying flat against the sheets, their hands twisted together between them. but that in and of itself makes it special.

[hongjoongslut]

Cloud 9

summary: all you’ve wanted to be was a singer. you didn’t necessarily care about having a huge fan base, but you wanted someone. Your friends from Ateez, specifically San, helps you through the journey.

paring: f!reader x Idol!San

Word Count: 1.3k

yes im soft for san rn dont judge

Choi San. Your best friend for decades. You saw him audition for KQ. You showered him in support. Now it’s your turn, trying to find a company to sign you. None of the auditions have gone well, leaving you with little hope. He was there every step of the way. “They missed out on a great artist, y/n. Don’t doubt yourself” his classic line would always cheer you up. Auditions continue to come and go, not one ending well. Sighing, you get up to go to your studio. “I’ll just sing this song and post it for fun, im sure not a lot will come from it” you press record, playing a song you wrote. It was about your struggles and how anything is possible. The recording ended, San slowly entering to not scare you. “That was great, y/n. You will make it far one day. And when you do, we are 1000% doing a collab” you laugh, feeling a bit of relief. 

Your shift just ended at your crap job. You drive home, planning to write more songs. What you didn’t plan on is seeing San and his band members watching your video. “Guys?” They all turn, smiles plastered on their faces. “Y/n! This is absolutely amazing, why did no one take you?” Wooyoung comes to hug you. “I wish we had a company just so we can take you and you wouldn’t have to deal with this stuff anymore” Hongjoong says, all the boys nodding along. “Thanks guys, what are you all doing here anyway?” You went to set your stuff down in the kitchen, grabbing a drink. “Well, we did something. You should go check your account” San smiles, watching your jaw drop in confusion. Pulling out your phone, you go to your video. “There’s over almost a million views and likes! What did you guys do?” They smile. “We did a livestream with this playing in the background. So many comments asked who this was and we showed them. Looks like you got Atiny by your side as well as us” Mingi patted your back. You couldn’t speak, tears fled your eyes. “Guys, you didn’t have to do this. I don’t know what to say… thank you” They all smile and wrap you in a big group hug.

“...and that’s how I became Beach Bunny. My friends decided to stream my song while their fans were watching their live.” You smile, remembering how supportive they are. “Thank you so much guys for listening to my music. This ends my Q&A. See you later, love you all!” San ends the recording, running to hug you. All you could feel is butterflies. You’ve had feelings for him for a long time, but him helping with your music is making them grow. “That went really well, im so proud of you shortie” you lightly smack him, causing you both to fall into a laugh fest. 

You decided to have the boys at your house again, they practically live there. “I wanted to show you guys a song I just wrote, if that’s okay.” Yunho, being the drama king he is, decided to fake cry. “You still remember your first fans after you’ve gained millions, I feel so special.” You smile and roll your eyes. “It’s called Cloud 9, please don’t judge me too much for it. I put a lot of feelings into it” They all nod. You press play, watching all of them for their reactions. They nod along, giving praises now and then. The song ends, they all stand and clap. “It’s a beautiful song. You have a love interest and you didn’t tell us?” Your eyes widen, knowing you only told Seonghwa. “I know who it is, it’s-“ you throw a pillow at him, making him tumble a few steps back. “You say a word, i will leak your baby photos, the ugly ones.” 

San walks in the house, dropping his stuff right at the door. “I’m so sorry im late y/n, my car was acting up. Show me the song, I’m excited to hear it” slowly, the boys connected the dots. “San!” Your eyes widen at Jongho, remembering how he can’t keep a secret. You stare at him, slowly shaking your head. “Y-you’ll really like it.” You sigh, relief flowing through you. “San, it’s called Cloud 9, I put a lot of emotions into it, so try not to judge it too quickly” before anything was said, Yeosang pipes in. “Hey, we’re getting a call from our manager. We’re gonna step outside. Don’t worry San, I’ll tell him you’re practicing right now.” You try to stop them, but they shut the door before anything came out. “Play the song, y/n!! I wanna hear you sing” you nod, pressing the play button. 

You walk around, not daring to see his reactions to your song that you wrote about him. “Y/n, come here! Why are you so ashamed of this song? It’s amazing. Whoever you’re in love with is a lucky person. They just got a song written about them!” You smile softly, trying to not point out the irony. “Yeah, he is.” San raises his eyebrow. “You didn’t tell your best friend about a guy you love? That’s like watching our tv show without me! Tell me, who is he? Does he treat you well?” You slowly sit down, him following. “Don’t worry San, he treats me well. We aren’t dating and I don’t know if we ever will. I hope we do. I really love him, but I’m not sure how he feels about me and I seriously don’t want to mess that up.” San smiles. “Is it one of the boys?” Your throat becomes dry, not knowing how to get out of this. “Y-yes it is. But I’m not telling you or anyone because I don’t want to ruin the friendship we all have.” He sighs. “Fine, but if I guess him right, then you have to tell me.” You nod. “Okay, so he is definitely one of the visuals of the group” he laughs. “We’re all visuals, that doesn’t help me at all!” You laugh at his eagerness, one of the reasons you fell for him. “He is not a rapper, or the high note singer. Well, he can sing high, but it isn’t Jongho.” He counts on his hand, talking to himself. “So that leaves me, Yunho, Yeosang, Seonghwa and Wooyoung.” You nod again, trying to hide your blushed cheeks. “Yes, it’s one of those. I’ll give you another hint, just because I’m nice. He looks terrifying on stage, but is really so sweet and innocent. He can’t sleep without a plushie and he absolutely loves when I sing for him, not sure why but he does.” San looks at you, smiling slowly. “Me?” He whispers, making sure he isn’t dreaming. The girl he’s had feelings for is saying she loves him. You smile, nodding. He sat speechless, trying to keep in his tears. You notice his tears, immediately getting a bad feeling. “San I’m sorry, if you wanna forget this happened, that’s okay, but i-” he grabs your face, molding his lips to fit with yours. Time stops, all you can feel is your lips together with his. Euphoria fills your entire being, washing away all the worry that once filled it. He pulls away, hugging you tightly. “I have loved you for so long, you don’t know how long I’ve waited to hear those words.” 

Fans all around you are in awe. “Who knew the ‘scary demon san’ is actually the sweetest being ever?” He hugs you, letting the crowd applause fill the arena. “This is my first concert I’ve ever done, so if you see me cry, it’s because of you guys. You have done nothing but made my days brighter. I cannot thank you guys enough for what you’ve done for me.” You tear up, looking down at the stage. San brings your chin up, meeting your eyes.

“You did it baby. I’m so proud of you.”

ive been crying for the past hour over ateez and this came to mind

[deeeelightfuldee]

surveys 068.

[100 Truths by thev0iceofreas0n] Lasts:

1. Last Beverage? water

2. Last Phone Call? i accidentally hit call to kile because I had his messages up. yikes. man i miss that.

3. Last Text Message? uhhhh I think i said “thats why we are made for each other”

4. Last Song You Listened To? forget me too by machine gun kelly

5. Last Time You Cried? it’s been a couple days now. 

Have You Ever:

6. Dated Someone Twice? no

7. Been Cheated on? yes

8. Kissed Someone And Regretted It? uhhh nah.

9. Lost someone special? very much so. I bet he reads this </3

10. Been Depressed? not clinically.

11. Been Drunk? yes

List Three Favorite Colors:

12. blue 13. heather gray 14. maroon

This Year Have You:

15. Made New Friends? yes

16. Fallen Out Of Love? not yet. I’m trying to.

17. Laughed until You Cried? yes definitely

18. Met Someone WHo Changed You? met them THIS year? no. 

19. Found Out Who Your True Friends Were? ooof. Man. thats a way of putting it. i found out that just because you may think your friendship with someone is an unbreakable bond, doesn’t mean they feel the same way. and that no matter how intimate and transparent you think another person is with you, the reality is sometimes you won’t be worth the truth to them. aaaaaaaaand ive learned that just because you really want to be chosen by someone, does not mean that youll be selected.

20. Found Out Someone Was Talking About You? uhh actually yes. I found out kiles gf talked to him about me and i found out my siblings were talking about me and i found out my dads gf was talking about me

21. Kissed anyone on your friends list? what friends list

22. How Many people on your friends list do you know in real life? On what???

23. Do you have any pets? Yes, 2 cats. I want to get a pupper but idk that that’ll happen for some time.

24. What did you do for your last birthday? it was like a four day affair. traveled, was spoiled, but was so broken up and lonely w.o kile. 

25. What time did you wake up today? I went to bed around 4 and I woke up at 640

26. What were you doing at midnight last night? Staring at tumblr hoping kile would post.

27. Name something you CANNOT wait for? to not be consumed with these feelings!!!! 

28. Last time you saw your father? ummm... I think it was the end of may

29. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? yikes thats a dangerous thought.

30. What are you listening to right now? i have gilmore girls on in the background, fans on, ac unit, and my typing.

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? Yea a boss of mine and my SIL’s father

32. What's getting on your nerves right now? my foot and my lack of money

33. What is your real name? Diana

34. Zodiac Sign? cancer

35. Male or Female? Female.

36. Elementary School? home

37. Middle School? home

38. High School? home

39. Hair Color? naturally is a dirty blonde, but it’s going to be changed soon.

40. Long or short hair? Long

41. Height? Like 5′9ish

42. Do you have a crush on someone? trying not to.

43. What do you like about yourself? i think i’m supportive, slow to anger, loyal, curious

44. Piercings? just ears

45. Tattoos? None

46. Righty or Lefty? Righty.

Firsts:

47. Surgery? none so far

48. Piercing? My earlobes.

49. Tattoo? I don’t have any.

50. Best Friend? nea and gwen

51. Sport you joined? soccer

52. Pet? My dog millie

53. Vacation you remembered? louisiana

54. Concert? country thunder

55. Crush? chris. mmmmmm mm mm.

56. Alcoholic Drink? something that doesnt taste like it. right now probably my mint chocolate chip drink em got me.

Right Now:

57. Eating? Nothing.

58. Drinking? water

59. I'm about to.. type an answer

60. Listening to.. gilmore girls . 61. Waiting for... kile. im always waiting for kile.

Your Future:

62. Want kids? yes

63. Want to get married? yes

64. Careers in mind? check back

Which Is Better with the opposite sex?

65. Lips or Eyes? 66. Hugs or Kisses? 67. Shorter or Taller? 68. Older or Younger? 69. Romantic or Spontanious? 70. Nice stomach or Nice arms? 71. Tattoos or Piercings? 72. Sensitive or Loud? 74. Trouble Maker or Hesitant? yikessssssss neither

Have You Ever (2):

75. Kissed a stranger? lol in a way

76. Drank hard liquor? Yes.

77. Lost glasses/contacts? No. never had either

79. Broken someone's heart? I was told I did a few times

80. Had your heart broken? Yes.

81. Been arrested? No.

82. Turned someone down? Yes.

83. Cried when someone died? yes of course

84. Liked a friend that is the same sex? like romantically?

Do You Believe In:

85. Yourself? yes, very much so.

86. Miracles? Yes.

87. Love at first sight? I believe that you can meet someone and instantly know theyre going to impact your life big time.. but no. I think lust is initial and love comes later.

88. Heaven? Yes.

89. Santa Claus? Duhhh.

90. Kissing on the first date? In rare circumstances

91. Angels? Yes.

92. Sex before marriage? not for me. that will never be my priority. 

93. Life on other planets? i mean, who am I to say.

94. Life after death? Yes.

95. Only being with one person forever? Yes.

Answer Truthfully:

96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? yesssssss. very badly. sadly, i don’t think we will ever actually be in person together.

97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfrend at one time? No. no. no. no. no. no.

98. Do you believe it's possible to remain faithful forever? i think many people can do it. I know I could do it.

99. What's the one thing you cannot live without? My fam

100. What's one secret you have that not many people know? i cant post major secrets on here.

[chanbangblog]

ive only felt religion when ive lied with you- 10

A/N: (smut, Chan x reader, Canon compliant, fan/idol)

You fell down on the bed in your room and let the impact knock the air out of you as you stared up at the ceiling. You were back in your room, well, yours and Robyn’s room that apparently neither of you had slept in, what a waste of money that had been for Chris to pay for.

You had texted Robyn, but hadn’t gotten a response. You were mildly worried but not too badly yet, you trusted Jisung, you knew she was safe with him. But Minho was pretty drunk when you left the rooftop so you couldn’t imagine what her night had entailed. You were dying to hear about it the more you thought about it, actually.

You needed a distraction, something, anything to get your mind to stop turning at a million miles per minute. You pulled out your phone, avoiding Youtube this time and went to Netflix, you had a couple kdramas pulled up on there but you didn’t want anything close to romantic. So you went to the horror section and picked the first movie you saw.

You rolled over on your stomach and set your phone in front of you, but two minutes into the movie you realized you were not going to be able to focus at all. Your mind was too occupied, and there was one person in every single thought.

“Ughhhhh!” you screamed dramatically, slamming your phone down on the bed.

What is wrong with me? Why did I do this? How can this end well? This is just like the Avengers, over a billion different scenarios and only one where you could win.

But you didn’t even know what winning was anymore.

Okay so I like him, a lot. But what is the goal here? Do I want to date him? Impossible. See him everyday? Impossible. Why is everything so fucking impossible?

  You really didn’t want to cry, not again, but your thoughts were threatening to overwhelm you. You wanted to call your mom, or a friend or just anyone and tell them what was going on and ask for advice, but you couldn’t. It made the situation just seemed that much more fucked.

Right when you were on the verge of giving in and having a good cry you heard someone at the door.

Robyn walked in in last night’s clothes as well, looking thoroughly exasperated. She typically only looked like this after you started telling her one of your stories or being particularly annoying, so you decided to wait to ask for advice. You made eye contact with her as she entered the room and smiled.

She froze where she was standing, eyes growing wide, “he’s crazy,” she said simply.

“I’m sorry, who?” you asked.

“Lee Minho, Lee Know, whatever you want to call that yahoo” she said, making hand gestures that had you on the verge of chuckling.

“What do you mean? What happened?” you questioned, quickly becoming amused by this.

“What I mean is, after finishing the alcohol that you and Chris so graciously left for him to drink, he started—“ you cut her off there.

“We didn’t leave him anything though?” you said, confused.

“Are you kidding me?! He said Chris told him to drink your alcohol or it would go to waste!” Robyn exclaimed, throwing her hands up.

You couldn’t help it, you were chuckling at this point, “It sounds like he just needed an excuse to keep drinking because you all were trying to cut him off.” You speculated, as it seemed to click in Robyn’s mind.

“The audacity of that man! The nerve! I cannot wait to tell Jisung this!” She said, moving to sit on the bed in a huff.

“Okay so keep going,” you urged her, “why are you so pissed?” You were really invested in this story now.

“Why am I so pissed? Why? Okay, let’s start with the fact that he started a hand stand competition on the roof to see how far each of them could walk on their hands. On concrete! While they were drunk! It was an injury waiting to happen! Then he decided to organize a wrestling tournament with the maknae line, drew a bracket and everything!” you were laughing so hard you had tears in your eyes at this point, just the mental image you were getting from this was hilarious.

“By the time we got him inside and to his room it was 2 in the morning. We put him in bed but every time we would go to leave he would follow us and try to go with us. So we just let him come with us to Jisung’s room because we couldn’t trust him not to wander about the hotel.” She explained, and tears really were falling now, “So we tried to put him in bed in Jisung’s room but he kept saying he wanted to party. He went to the bathroom and me and Jisung were trying to plan how to get him to go to sleep when we heard a crash. We go in the bathroom and Minho had fallen in the floor and was laughing and was covered in shaving cream, he had written ‘lee know #1 rapper’ on the mirror in shaving cream!”

“No! No he did not!” you cried out between bits of laughter, this was the best story you had ever heard.

“Oh yes, I assure you, he did.” Robyn said, looking so unamused, “So we took his shirt off to try to clean him up and he ran down the hall and to the maknae’s room shirtless! And brought them back to our room to do karaoke! They were singing Day6 and GOT7 songs until 3am!”

“Oh my god Robyn, I’m dying, so then did you get him to go to sleep?” you asked, still cracking up laughing at the mental image of drunk Minho tormenting Robyn and Jisung.

“Well, we got some clean clothes on him and tried to get him to go back to his room but he said he wanted to stay with me and Jisung, I was so tired at that point, I just didn’t care. I tried to sleep on the couch but he said he would cry if I didn’t sleep in the bed. So I tried to sleep by Jisung but he said he wanted to sleep in the middle, so I got on the other side and he grabbed me and Jisung and hugged both of us to his sides, said we were in a ‘cuddle puddle’ and passed out.” Robyn finally finished.

“That is…the best story I have ever heard.” You said, laugher coming to an end, thankfully because your abs were starting to hurt.

“Yeah, try living it, he’s like the Tasmanian devil.” Robyn said, waving you off.

“But you stayed and took care of him, that must mean you care,” you said winking at her.

She huffed and crossed her arms, “Of course I care about the little psychopath but I told him, next time me and Jisung are the ones getting drunk and he can take care of us!”

“And what did he say?” you pressed.

“He said okay and that he would,” she added slowly, “and then he went and got me a coffee and served it to me in bed.”

She was blushing, and you were eating this up.

***

Going to a concert after sleeping with Chris was weirder than you thought it would be.

And you already thought it was going to be pretty fucking weird.

You and Robyn spent the day taking a much needed nap and then getting ready for the concert. Chris had sent your tickets to your phone and somehow you weren’t surprised when you arrived to the venue and found out they were P1 tickets.

“Shit this means we get group photo with them,” Robyn had mused.

“That’s sure to be a good time.” You smirked back.

Watching Chris, well all of them really, on stage after being so close with them was so weird. It was similar to the feeling you had at the airport. The feeling of being totally in over your head.

Watching his body rolls, the beads of sweat running down his face, the way his arm and leg muscles clenched. It just had your mind racing back to the times he did this in your most intimate moments. It was a whole new experience, one that left your head swimming.

Hearing him talk to his fans, telling them how much he meant to them, how Stay is his everything, pretty much had you gushing. It was like seeing your partner hold a baby for the first, it pretty much made your heart explode and you melt into a puddle. Because you knew everything he was saying was true, he meant every word, he had such a beautiful heart.

And all of it could be ripped away because of what he was doing with you.

The thought turned your stomach.

The concert, as always, was over too soon and you were corralled like a herd of cattle with other fans into a line for group photo.

“I wonder if they expected us to actually do this part,” you whispered to Robyn.

“Well shit I’m doing it, it’ll be fun,” Robyn whispered back, grabbing your hand reassuringly.

“But won’t it be kind of awkward?” you asked.

“I mean, it would be, but that’s why we make it funny.” She said, smiling.

You liked where she was going with this.

You walked in and there were ten chairs lined up in front of the nine members. Chris was on the far end of the room and his eyes lit up and he started laughing when he saw you. You speed walked over to him, trying not to draw attention to him. The staff was rushing everyone to sit down as you reached him.

Once again you felt that confidence you had felt at the first concert with his eyes on you.

“OMG! Bang Chan! I can’t believe I’m meeting you!” you said as you took your seat, “Can we do a hand heart?!” you moved your hand behind you so you could make half a heart. Chris was so busy laughing at your antics he barely got a word in.

“Yeah no problem,” he said, just before the camera went off he raised his hand to complete the heart. “It was nice to meet you” he said, eyes full of laughter.

“You too,” you said, while being shooed away by staff and you, somehow by an act of god, bit your lip. He saw it and you swore his eyes darkened.

Tonight will be fun.

[riskeith]

hi babe, hope you slept well.. ♥️

answering on the phone is just *takes screenshots* *opens tumblr app* *switch between screenshots and answering* do you also put on my messages on the laptop and answering with your phone usually, because that’s what i do lmao sjshdks. thank god for technology.

(I LOVE BEING CALLED BRO.. i believe that i would’ve been a dudebro in another life tbh..) there is? i’m not super immersed in the fandom actually so i had no idea, do you have any examples? ofc only if you wanna talk about it i know these topics can sometimes be annoying to think about. also you’re right! ‘don’t like don’t read’ is the law. follow it. i can’t believe how some people have the nerve to talk about what other people do creatively... yikes

you should if you ever find yourself not knowing what to read! i think their fics were some of my first in the fandom and they set the bar so high hehe. dude i love how oikawa just wants to see kageyama burn it’s so funny..... he’s so cocky about it while kageyama’s just his moody self. speaking of; one of my fave fics of yours is the swapping jerseys one!

WTF 😭 BABY POOLS AND POOL FLOATIES..... razor please come back to us please. sidenote but do you also think that his powers are 5 star level? hes soo powerful it’s so odd how he’s only 4 star haha... or maybe it’s just me being biased.

YEAH! THE SAVING SCENE IS SO AHHHHH. god especially if they have dialogue while person a is hurting and person b just spills all their feelings and becomes so erratic and scared and person a is like holy shit you love me.... and after everything is okay there’s still some awkwardness and tension and aaa.... 💢💔

OOO. sadly the ps5 is always out of stock it’s crazy how fast it sold out. but i mean it makes sense it’s arguably the most popular console so.. hopefully they restock soon. last of us is such a fun game! and the second part is ~gay~ which is always a plus. i’m not sure which memes you mean? tell me 👁 HAHA that makes sense actually omg... lumine and aether reunion won’t happen until like two years if the updates keep coming the way they are (STOP THAT WOULD ACTUALLY BE SO FUNNY.... like hello if you want to unlock the rest of the story you either gacha $pin for it or you imagine it yourself love ♥️😗) talking about this makes me wonder what the other worlds might look like....

your followers are just here to witness us planning our co-op date sjsjdkdjskz. speaking of,,, hehe. i have some fantastic news. i’m at ar level 11 right now and co-op unlocks at level 16... i might just reach that tomorrow (today for you) so i’m just saying hehehehehehehehehehehe.... 😏♥️

BOWL CUT. my cutie little baby. also mullet? sounds nice omg you will probably rock that look... 😳 i’m a non mullet supporter but if cluna has a mullet then call me a yeehaw mullet lover i suppose. can’t believe my wife is a cowboy. OMG YEAH IT MUST FEEL SO NICE your head went bzz bzz. how long did it take for them to accept it? and yeah god ikr some people take hair so seriously which is fair but also i’ve never understood it... like it grows out..? wow you really went from a ballet girl to punk rock style huh. i feel like you’re the both sides of the ‘she was a punk she did ballet’ meme.

memo fic is a jealous fic? mmm smells good. I FIGURED jshdjdkhsjs slow songs are just not your forte, huh? rip. langst is the best yet worst thing ever tbh. and YEAH I DO we’re truly 🤝 ok literally mood sometimes it’s just nice to talk about how much you love a character through another character in a fic yk? so what if this 2k fic contains 1k words about how beautiful oikawa looks? it’s what iwa feels <3 (YOU’RE LEARNING!!!!!!! THATS SO EXCITING!! i guess you just have to drive me around, huh?)

oh i’m in love i’m with that fic my girl. and i knew about that spoiler it’s kind of hard to miss it since it’s everywhere skdhdkdhdk... god, that sounds so good thank you for sharing it. pining iwaizumi hajime >>>>>>>> the air i need to exist 🥺 

THE DAY IS SO SOON CLUNA, it’s literally here soooo soon holy shit i just can’t wait. i played for almost 6 hours today in a row like an idiot and now i never wanna see hilichurls again in my life but hey, one step closer to my baby. prepare yourself.. 😏

AWWW i had a feeling you’d be a tea person. but omg tea effects your sleep? how late is too late for you to drink it? what’s your favorite flavors? 👁 and i’m addicted to both shdkdhsks. i say addicted bc i literally have 6 cups of tea per day easily and like.. 1 or 2 coffee cups per day. it’s really bad but i can’t stop so.. 🙇🏽‍♀️

COLLEGE BOYFIES CLUNA. COLLEGE BOYFIES WITH DIP DYE HAIR. imagine them doing each other’s make up and nails before going to concerts together. imagine xiao in euphoria kind of make up. holy shit. here’s something for your overwhelmed heart jsdhjshska. xiaoven soulmates girl, no doubt about it. THE EDIT THE EDIT THE EDIT!!!! they just look so beautiful. we need scenes with them like Asap. the edit is based on a fic... notes down.

can’t wait to see your screenshots. super excited!!

xo, m.a. (i almost wrote my name down in a haste shshskdjdk... although you’ll find it out soon...)

hiya!! i slept alright~ ahaha

:o that’s smart! but no i don’t LOL whether i’m on my phone or my laptop i just continuously scroll up and down fhdskjfkhsdf i think that’s why i come close to missing some paragraphs some times oops. yay for the ~wonders of technology~

(AIGHT NICE AHAHHA fhsdkjfsh does that mean you’re a bit of a tomboy?) actually coincidentally i came across this thread: https://twitter.com/maxatsuomi/status/1350145589296685057 which gives you an idea lmao (also some things on there i wasn’t even aware of wtf) EXACTLY??? it’s even worse when non content creators try to come for content creators like?????????/ um you’re getting all this food for FREE and yet?????? lmfao the nerve of some people

i def will!! FKJSHFDSKJ yeah that do be their dynamic lolol. and thank you!! i too think i snapped on that one 😩😩 glad others agree ahahah

i actually haven’t really seen him in combat... and when we could trial him i was too busy trying to pass the quests to focus on how he fought fhdkfhsdkfjshf but i do think his abilities are cool!! he have wolf above head 🥺

YEAHHH BOYEEEEEEEEEEE god that reminds me of a scene from a drarry fic (What We Pretend We Can't See wink wonk)

oh damn!! hope they restock soon for your sake~ yissss ive watched a playthrough and omg lev.... my Son. i don’t think i can find the memes again but it was just about the bugs like how if you throw a grenade on the highway everyone will run out of their cars like a flashmob or something hfskfhsdjfkds. (LMAOOOOO) there’s actually a trailer with the other worlds! https://youtu.be/TAlKhARUcoY (it has spoilers tho supposedly lol. none we understand rn at least)

hdsfkhjs. omg you absolute legend!!!! but i also hope that you’re taking care of yourself and prioritising the important things too fhsfhdksdhf. but i am excited hehehehehe

AHHAAHKFHDSKJFSD pls... once i saw someone with an actual proper mullet on the bus and i was like “ew... keith would look like this irl?” FJSDHKFSAHKDASHDFSDJFKJFDSHFKJS. but what can i say i got influenced by all the kpop bois 😔 and hmmm idk? i think my dad didn’t care too much but ik my mum did/does fhsfskfsdfhkf so who knows lollllllllllllllllllllllllllllll. IT REALLY DOES GROW OUT LMAO LIKE. fhkshkfsdkj my cousin called me a rockstar when she saw it LOL so you’re prob right 🤪

yeah slow songs really just. aren’t LMAO ‘behind this mask of mine’ was based on a slow bts song and i put it in the playlist i had for it (bc obviously) but i wanted to skip it every time hfksjdhfskjdfhskfdkfhkslfhadksfjsdjhfkashkfjsdh. EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!! you are so correct. (hehehe i was gonna say that too that you don’t need to drive bc it’ll take you around 😏 LMAO)

fhkdsj thank!! legit pining iwa.......... more like pining ME mayhaps i just be self projecting 🤪🤪

lolol dw i can fight the hilichurls for you 😩 also who’s your fave enemy to fight! i used to like fighting the treasure hoarders most but the hilichurls are cute.. FHSKJDHFSDFKJSD plus i need their fucking masks my god why are their drop rates so shit hfsdhjfks

i’m not too sure actually? i’ve never been up early enough to test it but i like drinking tea like after dinner... which is the problem AHAHA. hmm well i like matcha a lot LOL but also chai? and then like black tea.... all the other ones too... i used to drink some fruity ones which were nice but we have a lot of the like basic chinese ones at home too and i enjoy those as well lol. wbu?? omg.... m.a........... dfhksdfkjhfkjshfksjd that’s a lot!!!!!!! do you even need to drink water then HKDSJFHKSDFHDKDSHFJKSDH

omg............. ive never seen euphoria LOL but ............. omg ...................... i cannot process thoughts rn.....

xoxo!! c.r. (you mean bc we’ll be playing co-op? you don’t have to if you’re uncomfy fhdskjf my genshin name was literally ‘aether’ up until yesterday FHDFHSDKFSDFJSHFKSDF)

[iconicpnytail]

HAPPY NEW YEAR, TUMBLR FRIENDS. This year has been one hell of a year for me. The beginning of this year was a rough one, I lost people I cared about and I thought cared about me. I went into a pretty dark place for a while and thought about quitting with roleplay and writing and never wanting to come back. Then something in me made me want to make my Betty account and I am so happy I did, because here is where I started over, healed and made friends. Reconnected with friends I lost over silly differences that no longer matter. People that were meant to be in my life found a way into it or back into it and I am grateful for the meaningful friendships that have grown from me making this account. I never have to worry where my friendship lies with anyone i’ve met this year, i’ve never had to second guess or doubt myself. I know with this year coming up, I am going into the year surrounded by people who truly do care about me and love me and thats all I could ever ask for. Now its time to point out some of my all time favorite people.

@warcrashed​​ / @almostcaptain​​ -- Literally always and forever will be my favorite and top of the list bestie. Always there for me through everything and anything. Love you to the moon and back and then some.

@serpentsprince​ -- Honestly don’t know what my year would have been without meeting you bby!! It probably would have been boring and I would have probably written a lot less bughead. You always make my day brighter and better and I adore you so much. I love that we can talk about anything and everything, and you always give such great advice.

@asianadonis​ / @oftroubledsouls​ -- Honestly if we could get our shit together, our ships would be so cute together. but we are terrible people, and its why we make such good friends. I  love you, I adore you, you’re fucking hilarious. And you should never ever leave me, I would be lost without you. You are so kind and caring and literally the best friend a girl like me could ask for!

@prodigaldaughterr​ -- I never thought this friendship would grow as fast and as close as it did, but it did and I wouldn’t trade you for the world. You are out kicking ass in your real life and I am so proud of you for it. You will always be the V to my B, Best friends forever. and heres to hopefully meeting you in February when I come visit for a concert!

@icarusinvited​ -- I cannot tell you had excited I am that we were able to reconnect this year. a little funny how it all happened, but wouldn’t trade that for the world. Ive missed you so much, you have no idea! and can’t wait for the coming year to rebuild and regain the lost friendship.

@crimejournalist​ / @crimenovelist​ / @crimefightur​ -- Another friendship I was happy to have mended this past year was yours. And I look forwards to only building our friendship stronger as the year goes on because I aint letting you go this time, you are stuck with me forever and ever. Sorry about it. Love you, mean it.

@pinkxperfectionisms​ -- We don’t talk nearly enough as I want too but thats okay. You are still a near and dear friend to me, and I know you are always there if I need you and I am always here if you need me. I appreciate all your support and love and all the late nights you have spent talking to me though a lot of tough things. I love you!! 

@perfectioncursed​ -- My favorite Betty to write a twin with, my favorite person to talk to ever. You are so kind and loving and caring. I’ve appreciated you being there for me when I felt like I have no one else that would listen. You are an angel and I adore you, I love you. You are such an amazing person.

[enbyboiwonder]

Tagged by @frozenmemories1987

So I don’t really understand how this one works, so I’m just gonna answer all the questions and number them consecutively. Upfront I’m gonna say that I’m not tagging anyone, but as always, if you wish to do it, consider yourself tagged. Also, this is going under a read more. Save the thumbs of any mobile users

01. What was the last movie you watched in theaters?

It’s been months, so I can’t remember, sorry

02. What’s your favorite game to play?

Currently it’s Dragon Quest Monsters: Joker 2. I hadn’t played it since I got it (and beat it all in one go), and I forgot just how much I love this game. It’s like Pokémon meets Dragon Quest, and it’s amazing. On the one hand, making a team entirely of dragons might be a bad idea, but on the other hand, I freaking love dragons. I should probably synth one with a healing skillset if I’m gonna do that - possibly Cure-all since that’s got Multiheal. My current party is a Lv 20 great argon lizard named Rory, a Lv 24 slime stack with Cure-all named Sticker, and a Lv 19 aquestrian gladiator with Huntsman named Mizuno. When I leave them to their own devices, Mizuno really loves using Penny Pincher, which tbh I cannot fault him for - normal damage plus the chance to pinch a few gold coins? Heck yes. At least he’s got 44 MP, so I haven’t had to change his tactics to “Don’t Use Magic” yet (the skill costs 2 MP)

03. Chocolate or vanilla?

Chocolate

04. What’s the last show you binge-watched?

NUMB3RS (though I’m still working on that one)

05. Do you have any pets?

No

06. What’s your favorite fairy tale?

I dunno. I don’t actually read very many fairy tales

07. Who’s your favorite superhero?

Superhero stuff doesn’t normally appeal to me, but I do like Cisco Ramon/Vibe and Ray Palmer/The Atom from CW’s Arrowverse

08. Who’s your favorite Disney princess?

Erm, Rapunzel, I guess?

09. Where’s the first place you’re going to go after social distancing is over?

I know I’m gonna hang out with my friend like we were planning to before this started, but as for where... probably Barnes & Noble since that’s where we usually go, but who knows (I say, knowing full well that neither of us know where to go, and we go to HPB when we’re specifically looking for a book but default to B&N bc of the café and seating area)

10. Cookies or cake?

Cookies

11. What show could you watch over and over?

Monk, CSI, and Psych, to name a few

12. Favorite song lyric?

See, I have to believe that there’s more than this seems More than a soul in a boat in a sea of sinking dreams And I have to be sure that there’s gonna be a cure ‘Cause, somewhere down the line, I lost that part of me that’s pure

 - Where We Belong by Thriving Ivory

13. Favorite season of your favorite TV show?

S14 of CSI, probably

14. What never fails to make you smile/happy?

Seeing I’ve got a comment on AO3

15. How are you doing with all that’s going on in the world (coronavirus, having to do social distancing, etc.)?

My lifestyle hasn’t changed at all, though for some reason I’ve actually been getting way more crocheting and video-gaming done than usual (at the expense, of course, of less reading and writing and TV-watching. Unfortunately). But we have lost business at the doughnut shop so I haven’t been working as many days - usually I work Monday and Friday - which, on the one hand, less money, but on the other hand, I’ve gotten more rest so my bruised ribs (from coughing; I had strep about a month and a half ago, and that always leaves me with a cough for a while, though it’s never been this bad before) are mostly healed now

16. We all love new music to listen to. Name an artist that is underrated/you think people should check out:

Thriving Ivory/Midnight Cinema (same band, different songwriters; Thriving Ivory is more piano-driven and leans more toward alt/alt-rock, while Midnight Cinema is more pop)

17. TV shows or movies?

TV shows

18. Favorite holiday?

Halloween

19. A song that describes you:

I’ve always related to Some Kind of Home by Thriving Ivory

20. Describe your tumblr in three words:

“hella queer animal-lover” idk

21. What’s your favorite hobby?

It depends on my mood, but rn it’s crocheting!

22. What’s your favorite book and/or a really good book you’ve read recently?

CSI: Miami: Cut and Run by Donn Cortez is amazing. I read it back in January and then reread it this month. Probably will be rereading it again before long tbh

Another really good one I’ve read recently is How Rory Thorne Destroyed the Multiverse by K. Eason. It just came out like six months ago, so the second one won’t be out any time soon, but I am ready for it when it does (more than ready, actually; I can’t wait)

23. What’s your favorite ship that will never happen (or hasn’t happened yet)?

I really wish they had done something with Greg/Hodges. I mean, they had the perfect setup for it in 11.07 Bump and Grind, what with their “man-dates” (that never get mentioned again)!! Their man-dates become a regular thing that they do like every week or whatever, eventually they realize that they’re actual dates and have been for a while and they start consciously dating. Maybe Greg already knows he’s bi and is totally cool with it, maybe David’s been repressed and realizes that, oh, that’s why something’s always seemed like it was missing when he tried dating before: he’s gay.

Unsurprisingly, I have a few 11.07 fics in my WIPs

(But also, considering CSI’s track record with respecting queer people [poor], I’m kinda glad they didn’t. Woulda been nice, though, long as they'da done it right)

A ship that I’m really hoping will happen is Penelope and Schneider from One Day at a Time. I love them so much

24. If you could spend the day with any living celebrity, who would it be?

I would rather meet a celebrity in passing than spend a day with them. I am far too awkward and anxious, and I’m afraid it would not be an enjoyable experience for either of us

25. The best worst movie you’ve ever seen - a movie that you know objectively is trash but you can’t help but really enjoy it:

I don’t think I have any like this

26. When you read, do you prefer an eReader or an actual, physical book?

Paper books all the way, baby

27. Favorite movie?

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, probably

28. What does a normal day look like for you?

I stay in bed reading or playing games on my phone (or, more recently, on my DS) for as long as possible, dick around on here for a while whilst also trying to get at least some SwagBucks in another window, try not to forget to eat lunch, play the free money apps I have on my phone while either listening to music on my laptop or watching shows either on my laptop or the TV, try not to forget to eat dinner, watch some more TV or get some reading or gaming in, try not to stay up too late, take over an hour to fall asleep, maybe if I’m lucky get some writing done at some point during any of this (and if I’m really lucky it won’t be while I’m trying to sleep, but usually it is, damn brain)

29. Have you ever watched a show/movie for one character? If so, who?

Normally when I watch something specifically for someone, it’s for an actor I like, but I started watching CW’s The Flash specifically for Cisco Ramon (well, and Harry Wells and their relationship, but mostly Cisco) and Legends of Tomorrow specifically for Ray Palmer, whom I fell in love with in his ep on The Flash lol

30. What is your ultimate concert (musicians/bands from any period, alive or dead)?

I don’t go to concerts (they seem like they’d be very overwhelming), so, none, I guess

31. Book that you were forced to read in school that you hated the most:

God, I fucking hated To Kill a Mockingbird. Actually, I think the only one I actually liked was The Importance of Being Earnest

[ichoriism]

@theictita​ said: ❤ { kibum && phoenix | five times my muse says they don’t love yours, and the one time they admit it.

i.

it’s not love if you feel jealous, kibum tells himself as he sees the easy smiles phoenix sends to people kibum doesn’t know. fingers tap impatient on his forearm as he waits, hip propped against his car. phoenix continues with his queen-of-the-spring politeness and kibum continues to reel with jealousy.

he knows it’s stupid to feel this way. they are not exclusive, kibum repeated that to the elder enough times so the message stuck. yet his heart is raging inside his ribcage and it’s not fair that all he wants is to have phoenix’s complete attention focused on himself. it’s sick, it’s impossible, it’s– 

it’s not love.

ii.

it’s not love if you crave their touch the way he misses phoenix’s hands on his hair or so kibum tells himself as he spots phoenix from meters away. the elder is waiting out of his car, hand waving at kibum as the singer approaches. he stayed in japan for two weeks but not once did he fall into temptation. he could have had hands running through his hair, lips on his neck, fingers tracing interesting planes of his existence and none of it would have gotten close to what he experienced with the god. over a thousand years did come handy, he mused, grinning to himself.

he waits until he’s inside the car before he succumbs to what he wanted most: he takes kisses from phoenix, hands cup his face and he devours him until the god is left dazed and beautiful with red, swollen lips, and that darkness kibum loved to rise in his eyes. he tells himself this fluttering inside, this force screaming at him to take phoenix in his arms and not let go ever cannot be other than lust. 

iii.

this cannot be love, kibum repeats to himself as his lips brush over phoenix’s ear. his hands cannot stay still. it’s like being consumed by an addiction, like listening to the darkest, primal form of desire. he needs to keep devouring phoenix until all he has in his mind is the strength of his kisses, crescent moon shapes of his nails on his back, the taste of moans and heat scorching his mind, carving kibum’s existence on his very core. it cannot be love if he wants all of phoenix to himself. it’s possessiveness, it’s obsession. it’s pride, smugness at leaving his mark, being the best, always. something like that cannot be love, he thinks. 

iv.

it’s not love if i want him to love me, he thinks as phoenix turns to flash him a smile, the ones he can relish in when they are in private and it’s just the two of them. he is making bibimbap and it’s ridiculous that kibum thinks it smells delicious because it’s a simple bibimbap. but kibum finds so much meaning in everything phoenix does for to him –every time chasing for signals that tell him the god cares more and more about him that he should.

v.

kibum looks at phoenix and songs flow from his lips. i’m not in love, he denies, willful, terrified. phoenix attended this small showcase of his upcoming mini-album after a long hiatus and kibum hasn’t confessed this song is meant for him only. people say it’s impossible for singers to keep their attention fixed on someone in particular from the whole crowd, but he can do it –he is doing it. 

phoenix is smiling, shine in his eyes, and it makes his heart tighten inside his chest. kibum wants him to look at him like this all the time, he wants to consume him just like he has been consumed. he wants to taste his name in phoenix’s lips every night and kiss him good morning until earth freezes over and he can stop running in circles telling himself he was supposed to have no heart any longer.

       Something always brings me back to you        It never takes too long

solidity.

he stands before phoenix, hair in disarray and wet with raindrops all over the crown of his head. he’s sweating and the fashionable clothes for a concert that has been canceled stick to him like a second skin. in all honesty, he looks like a drowned rat and he doesn’t care.

❝ i lied ❞ kibum states, hazel eyes bright with emotion as he steps closer to the taller man. ❝ i– i… ❞ hands reach for the god’s wrists. kibum is not first, he’s not the best, he’s not even his future in the long run. but phoenix is not a conquest anymore. he’s not a pretty thing kibum covets. he swallows, the revelation is all too crushing and heartbreaking. ❝ i do love you. ❞   

he doesn’t wait to hear an answer, no. instead, he snatches it from phoenix’s mouth. he closes the final centimeters that keep them apart and he curls a hand around the back of his neck. he angles his face to drink in the reply that follows and he doesn’t let go until the god is surrendering against him. smug fingers keep their hold on him and he looks at phoenix like he meant to for a long time.

[magicallygrimmwiccan]

Only Time, Part IV

Summary: In which Concerts Are Given, Musicals Are Performed, and Math is Done (with crying!) 

Notes: Yes, this chapter is self-indulgent. Yes, I’ve played all those pieces. Yes, that is a reference to Moving On :) Second-to-last part of exchange with @dailypattondoodle / @moonfang03! Enjoy, Wren! 

“Okay, okay, Logan? Calm down, sweetie, it’ll be okay,” Mika murmured, gently grabbing Logan’s shoulders and staring into his eyes. Logan shook his head, on the verge of tears, as he clutched his horn closer to his chest. This was not going to end well, he just knew it. He wasn’t prepared, his anxiety had been acting up all day, Roman was most likely not going to be here-

“Logan. Listen to me,” Mika ordered, gently grabbing Logan’s horn from his arms and setting it gently in the case. “You’ll be okay, you know these pieces better than almost everyone here.”

Roman’s not going to show up, is he? Logan signed, hands shaking. Mika growled and shook xyr head, clearly exasperated.

“Roman’s coming. He’s in the audience. I checked for myself, okay?” Logan sniffed, trying to stem his tears. Mika wouldn’t lie to him, he knew that, so there was really no reason for him to be crying like a stupid child. Mika didn’t seem to mind, however, and gently rubbed his back, whispering soothing nothings into Logan’s ears until he calmed down. Luckily, the rest of their band gave the two of them space, something Logan was eternally grateful for. Finally, finally, he managed to calm down, and Mika handed him back his horn with a grin. “Now, let’s go out there and kick those pieces’ butts, yeah?” Logan nodded and stood up, walking out towards the stage. Mika followed with xyr oboe. The two walked out to find Wirt already seated with his clarinet, and he shot them a big grin when he saw them.

Logan settled into his spot in the horn section, nodding at all of his sectionmates, as he nervously fiddled with his keys and blew warm air through his instrument. This was their longest concert, being the last one of the year, and he knew this one was going to be especially rough on his embouchure. He also happened to be the first horn, despite being the only freshman in the horn section. The other three horns, two juniors and a sophomore, had all done the first horn shift, leaving Logan to pick up this one. He glanced up to see that Wirt had vanished, most likely because he was the tuner for tonight.

The lights dimmed before coming back on at the sound of soft, nervous footsteps. Wirt paused at the front of the stage, lifted his clarinet, and let out the long drone of a concert Bb. Logan waited for the low brass to settle into their pitch before lifting his own horn and making sure everything was properly tuned. Wirt seamlessly switched to the concert A and Logan adjusted for that pitch as well, lowering his horn and waiting for the cue to stand when his conductor came out. She did, strands coming out of her bun, beaming with exhilaration at her band in front of her. She stepped up onto the podium, raised her baton, and Logan raised his horn, prepared for the first note.

He glimpsed his father out of the corner of his eye beaming as the first notes of the first piece registered. Logan knew Virgil would love the first piece; after all, Nightmare Before Christmas was his favourite movie, so why wouldn’t he love a band arrangement of it? As the piece went on, Logan noticed that Virgil was nudging another person in excitement, but Logan didn’t have time to explore more because oh shit that was his entrance in two measures! Finally, they reached Wirt’s clarinet solo, and Logan lowered his horn to watch his friend noodle around on his chromatic scale, eventually screaming out a high B before moving into a glissando back down to a D. They finished the piece within a couple minutes, Logan’s facial muscles showing no traces of soreness.

The next piece was extremely difficult to tune, but the horn part was simple until the end. Logan fucking hated large intervals, and what did the composer do? Write a large interval. The piece ended with a lovely, perfectly tuned 9 chord, much to Logan’s delight, and he moved to the next piece, groaning internally. Goddamn you, Saint-Saëns. Granted, the clarinets had it worse. He’d only seen Wirt’s part once, but what he had seen had made him cry in agony for his friend. Who thought that weird chromatic with repeated steps in eighth notes at this tempo was a good idea?! Regardless, they actually gave a very good performance of the piece, and Logan dropped his horn onto his lap, beginning to feel some soreness in his facial muscles. Great, because the next piece was horn-heavy. Wonderful.

The piece was over with before Logan knew it, and he appreciated the fact that he wasn’t a senior and so had no chance of being given one of the end-of-year awards. This was a solid 15 minutes to rest his face, and he was going to take it, thank you very much. While he did, tears were shed, hugs were given, gifts were presented, and the audience clapped for far too long and far too loudly for Logan’s taste. It died down eventually, however, and Logan raised his horn, prepared to end this concert with one of the best pieces Tchaikovsky ever wrote. The low instruments started with the ominous, funeral-march style chords, and Logan lifted his horn to his face in preparation for the melody.

The piece went off flawlessly, much to Logan’s delight. Their dress rehearsal that morning had been… well, calling it shaky was generously understated. The clarinets and flutes were finally lined up on the triplet passages, the horns and trombones were finally in tune, and everyone’s rhythms were counted perfectly. Each articulation was sharp and crisp, each phrase elegantly shaped, each part blended seamlessly into the others. The final chord sang through the hall, ending with that perfect reverberation of tuba, as everyone slowly lowered their instruments as the sound finally dissipated. Almost instantly, everyone in the audience burst into loud applause, eliciting a giddy giggle of pure elation out of Logan. They had done it. They had finished one of the hardest pieces of their high school careers, and they had done it well. Glancing out, his breath caught in his throat as he saw Roman, on his feet, his smile wide and bright even in the dark auditorium as he applauded his brother’s achievements.

Logan’s conductor gestured for the band to stand, and he did, clutching his horn tight to his stomach as he allowed the applause to wash over him. After a few very long, awkward minutes in which said applause would not stop, Logan was allowed off the stage, vanishing into the band room to break down his horn so he could go home. A hand dropped down to ruffle his hair, and he looked up to find Mika beaming down at him, oboe still fully assembled.

“Amazing show, poppet. You were wonderful,” xe murmured, sitting down next to Logan and pulling out xyr oboe case. “That interval in October came out perfectly.”

Yes, I am very pleased, Logan signed back, dropping his mouthpiece gently into its section of the case before placing his horn in its place. Mika delicately dropped xyr reed into xyr case before running a cloth through the oboe, beaming over at Logan.

“So, Roman seemed to enjoy himself.” Logan froze, in the process of sliding his horn into its locker, and slowly turned to stare at Mika. Xe simply shrugged. “What? I’m in the front, I cannot help but see people also sitting in the front of the audience. I really could not possibly miss that large, silly grin of his.”

I… what? Mika frowned, tilting xyr head to the side. Roman… actually enjoyed himself?

“Yes, he appeared to. I was under the impression he enjoyed instrumental music?” Logan nodded slowly in confirmation. “Yes, he was smiling every time you came in.”

Roman… actually cared about him? Roman cared about his interests and his skills and the things he enjoyed doing? Roman cared enough to sit through over an hour of music for him? These thoughts caused something warm to swirl in Logan’s stomach, bubbling up into his heart and throat and weaseling its way into his tear ducts.

“Oh, no no no, Logan honey don’t cry!” Mika cried, gently grabbing Logan’s face in xyr hands and wiping at his cheeks. He was crying? Why was he crying? He had no reason to cry, he was happy after all. Roman cared about him. Roman wanted to be a good brother to him. Roman didn’t hate him.

I can’t be crying, I’m happy Mika, Logan signed. Mika bit xyr lip and held up a sapphire-painted finger to show a droplet of salty facewater resting on it.

“You can cry happy tears, Logan. Tears aren’t just for sadness.” Logan blinked, shakily bringing his hands up to his face, and when he pulled them away, lo and behold, tears stained his fingertips. He was crying.

“It makes sense, to be quite frank. You’ve gone through quite a bit in the past few weeks. No wonder your body is reacting to strong emotions this way,” Mika explained, wiping off xyr fingers before pulling out a cloth and wiping Logan’s face. “Now, come on, your horn is away, my oboe is away, Wirt is standing near the door staring at us, let’s get up there and go eat far too many cookies to celebrate our achievements, yeah?” Logan nodded and stood up, smiling at Mika.

Thank you so, so much for everything, Mika. Mika snorted and swatted at Logan’s shoulder, steering him towards the doorway where Wirt was waiting, arms crossed uncomfortably over his chest. My apologies for keeping you waiting, Wirt.

“No, Logan, it’s fine. You needed a moment,” Wirt softly stammered back. “Let’s… let’s go.” The three left the bandroom, the last ones to do so, and they walked out to the Commons to partake in cookies and punch and far too much socializing. Logan had barely set foot in the Commons when he was tackled, letting out a little yelp. He blinked a couple times, trying to regain his bearings, and realized that the person who had tackled him was Roman.

“Lolo that was amazing! Dad was so happy during that first piece— nice choice on Nightmare Before Christmas, by the way— and that clarinet solo was so good— Wirt you better be going to music school that was amazing! And then that second piece? That horn part at the end was so emotional and perfect and you did it perfectly, Lo! Then the middle piece? I’m so sorry that sounded like it was hard on your face! But you did it so well, I got chills! Then Hymn To A Blue Hour was just… how do I say this? I was bawling, that’s how gorgeous it was! And then, then you ended with that gorgeous march and that… that was an experience! Logan, you did so well, you deserve so many more awards for that!”

Roman, I was just playing my part. No need to get overexcited, Logan signed, confused and a tad bit scared of his brother at this exact moment in time. There… was really no reason for him to be so excited over Logan just doing his job.

“I’m not overexcited, I’m showing how proud I am of you!” Roman shot back, grin still far too wide to be possible. How did his muscles move like that? Was that healthy? Was that normal? Logan was more concerned for his twin now after these questions popped into his mind.

“Roman, maybe relax a bit. You’re overwhelming him,” Virgil drawled, stopping just behind Roman and shooting Logan a small grin. “Nice work, kiddo. I really liked that first piece, but all of them were amazing.”

I figured you would like the first piece, Dad, Logan signed, grinning a bit. Virgil snorted and leaned over to ruffle Logan’s hair, freeing a few of his curls from their meticulously-placed gel. Logan batted the hands away, frantically trying to smooth his hair back into place. Mika and Wirt snorted and giggled behind him, and Logan shot them both glares, although they ignored him and kept laughing. Logan eventually gave in and joined them in laughter, just happy that the anxiety that had been constantly sitting on his chest seemed to be gone.

Patton bounced over, beaming, holding a stack of cookies in his hands. “Nice job, kiddo! Amazing show! You’ve earned so many second cookies!” Logan carefully took a snickerdoodle and began to nibble on it, smiling faintly. Everything had turned out alright, just like Roman had promised. Logan couldn’t be happier in that moment.

Merely a week later, Logan sat in an uncomfortable chair in the auditorium, watching Roman bound around on stage in his professional make-believe that he loved so much and that Logan understood approximately nothing about. Patton and Virgil sat next to him, trying to explain what confused him, but Logan still had no idea. People found these over-the-top productions entertaining? This one was apparently called Guys and Dolls and featured some… very outdated ideas. Roman was the lead (from what Logan had been told), and his friend Clair was playing the main female lead (also from what he’d been told), but beyond that, Logan had absolutely no idea what was going on. The musical ended soon enough, much to Logan’s relief, and everyone filtered out into the Commons again to wait for the actors to come out.

Roman bounced out after a few minutes, beaming and sweating a little but overall looking extremely happy. “Logan! My wonderful brother, did you enjoy that?”

Not really, as I could not understand what was happening, even with assistance. I do think you did an amazing job, however, Logan answered, flushing a bit. Would Roman be mad that he did not enjoy himself?

“Thanks, Lo! And I didn’t really expect you to, I’m just glad you showed up!” Logan swallowed and grinned back, relief swimming in his stomach at that. He did not wish to upset Roman, so the news that he had not was wonderful.

Of course. I will always show up to support you. Roman’s smile fell a little and he sighed, causing Logan to panic. Had he said something wrong?!

“Like I should have.” Logan sighed and gently whacked Roman on the back of the head. Roman looks up, startled and confused, and Logan simply rolled his eyes before lightly smacking his nose.

We have been over this. It is in the past. We can’t change the past, all we can do is try to move forward. Okay? Roman nodded, smile returning slightly, and Logan grinned back. Now, explain that musical to me please? I would like to understand what was happening. Roman’s eyes lit up and he launched into an impassioned speech about the plot of said musical as Logan followed him and their parents out to the car. It was always nice to see Roman acting like his usual passionate self, Logan thought as he settled in next to Roman who was still talking. Perhaps this attempt to fix their relationship was leading to good things after all.

“Logan! Can you help me with my math, I have no idea what’s going on!” Roman called, knocking frantically on Logan’s door. He sighed, pushing back from his desk, and got up, opening the door to find Roman shoving a worksheet on factoring into his face. Logan took a brief instant to recover before gently grabbing the worksheet and scanning over it. Simple enough. Why was Roman having issues?

“The teacher can’t explain this worth shit,” Roman explained, seeing Logan’s confusion. Logan flipped the sheet over to see the notes side of it and winced. Yep, that explanation would do it. What was all this about division? That wasn’t how you factored polynomials!

Come in, it’s time to fix the damage done by your teacher. Roman entered, closing the door behind him, looking at Logan with pleading eyes.

“Oh great Sage, please explain the heinous art of factoring to me,” Roman cried, dramatically swooning onto Logan’s bed. Logan rolled his eyes and ignored him, sitting down and pulling out a pencil.

Now, to start, factoring is the art of simplifying polynomial expressions in order to more easily see their component parts. This will become useful later when it comes to simplifying polynomial expressions, Logan began, scribbling an example out on the paper. This requires you to know your basic multiplication facts extremely well.

“Well, I’m doomed,” Roman moaned. Logan sighed and set down the paper.

Then we shall start there. There are patterns to certain multiples, if you would like me to show you? Roman nodded, and Logan set to work showing Roman the math that should have been learned in second grade.

A couple hours later, Roman finally understood what was going on. “Thank you so much, Logan! You’re a lifesaver, I swear.” Logan smiled and nodded. He was just being a good sibling. Why was Roman calling him a lifesaver for being a decent human being?

“No, really. I suck at math, and you actually explain it in a way that helps me, you know, get it? It’s really amazing, Logan. Have you considered going into teaching?” Logan frowned, eyebrows furrowing. He had, at one point, but who would want a teacher who couldn’t even talk?

But I can’t talk, Roman. I would be an awful teacher. Roman sighed and rolled his eyes, gently slapping Logan on the back of the head in that friendly way siblings do.

“And that’s something you can work around. Send out an email the school year before telling everyone to have their kids learn basic sign language. Teach at a school for the deaf. Just because you can’t talk, that doesn’t mean you automatically can’t teach. You’re a hell of an amazing teacher, so much better than a lot of the ones who can, and I will support you until the day I die, okay?” Logan began to cry and that, and Roman dropped his math homework with a heavy thud onto the floor as he rushed to comfort his brother. “No, don’t cry, I’m sorry-”

Happy tears, Roman. Happy tears, Logan soothed, giggling a bit at Roman’s concern. It was… sweet, if a bit overbearing. Roman giggled back and pulled Logan into a tight hug, rubbing his back in calming circles like Patton used to do when they were younger.

“You know that I meant every word of that, right?” Roman whispered, rocking Logan back and forth a bit. Logan nodded against his chest, hand slipping out of the hold to hover in Roman’s line of sight.

I know, Roman. For the first time in a long time, I know.

Notes: See? I promised it would get better :) 

And, in order, those pieces are: Nightmare Before Christmas medley for Symphonic Band, October by Eric Whitacre, Danse Macabre by Camille Saint-Saens (look up the Tokyo Kosei version), Hymn to a Blue Hour by John Mackie, and Marche Slave by Tchaikovsky (look up Tokyo Kosei, again)

[endwalkr]

this is an ask based thingy but im really in the mood to infodump so im just gonna answer them all under the cut !

Favorite video game?

starting off with the absolute hardest question huh? i can’t possibly name ONE favorite game of mine because i adore my favorites for many different reasons. my overall favorite video game is ffxv or botw. ffxv because it has brought me so much joy for such a long time, and because i have such a connection with the characters. botw because i was actually in the fandom when it first got announced in 2016 so i got to be there when the hype was at an all time high– and finally being able to play the game after waiting for so long was an unforgettable experience. i have more favorite games but ill talk more about them in the ‘’special place in ur heart’’ question.

First console you owned?

my first console wasn’t a console. my friend and i used to play on her nintendo dsi all the time and at one point tiny little me reeeally wanted one of my own so i saved up and got one in [redacted] when i was 7. my first actual console was a wii though, we got that around the same time.

A game that holds a special place in your heart?

ffxv and botw mean the absolute world to me, but super mario galaxy and skyward sword are very important to me too. skyward sword is the game that got me into zelda which got me into anime which got me into final fantasy etc etc etc.  super mario galaxy was the first non-mini game collection and more adventure story-ish game i played. i was so proud when i beat it for the first time and mario was my first ever ‘’fandom’’ :’) 

Favorite video game character?

bro. i cant pick just one so i’ll choose one per game : prompto, ryuji and link. they were all my comfort characters at some point and i projected like crazy onto them. this doesnt mean that i wouldnt absolutely die for noct or zelda. 

Least favorite video game character?

i dont think theres anyone i distinctly dislike? i always talk about hating ardyn but that’s because he’s just a salty bitch. as a character i think he’s a great villain and i rly love him. i honestly always end up liking everyone somehow, maybe there is someone i just forgot about but i cant remember at all. 

Favorite genre?

adventure games, or action rpgs. 

Video game character you’ve had a crush on?

every character ever, but i distinctly remember the moment i fell in love with prompto sjghfkshd i was watching a playthrough of xv in december 2016 because i didnt have a ps4, and the guy got to the scene in galdin quay where the bros learn insomnia fell. i had watched about 6 hours of the game by that time and wasn’t particularly interested in the characters but not uninterested enough to drop it. i hadnt even gotten a good look at the characters faces yet, so when the camera zoomed in on prompto when he said ‘’might not be save for us here!’’ i noticed he had freckles. oh god. oh fuck. oh my god hes fucking cute. oh my god better watch 30 hours of this game now

First video game you remember playing?

wayyy before i got my own gaming systems, my then-best friend had a gamecube in her attic. i was around 5 or 6 at the time. whenever i was over at her house and we didnt know what to do, she’d sometimes propose to play ‘’mario kart’’. important is that we are dutch, and i was a literal child. i thought mario KART meant it was a fucking card game, so i always declined whenever she asked. on one fateful day, i finally gave in and was pleasantly surprised it was in fact not a card game, but a viddy game. so we played mario kart double dash. (…i had never played a video game in my life besides browser flash games and was Very Very bad)

Age you started gaming?

so i played my first video game that i didnt own when i was about 5 or 6. then i got my first supply of games at age 7/8, but i dont really consider that time to be when i started ‘’gaming’’. i’d say that was when i started mario galaxy, so i’ve been playing video games for real (ie. story adventure games with boss battles) for about 6 years now.

Hardest video game you’ve played?

this is gonna sound stupid, but the witcher 3. there’s like 7 difficulties and i played on the EASIEST and still had a hard time, i just couldnt get used to the combat. i had the same problem with assassin’s creed syndicate, but after about 10 hours i actually knew what i was doing, and ive played the witcher longer than that and still am clueless. this is kind of an unpopular opinion but i dont particularly like that game

Video game you’ve spent the most time on?

i guess i am what you’d call a casual gamer; i really like video games but during a normal school week i only game for like 2-6 hours. most of the time i dont play for like 2 weeks if im busy. gaming has kind of taken over my life not because i play so much but because i get so emotionally invested lol i’m currently on summer break and even now im not playing a lot because of exhaustion and executive dysfunction. this derailed slightly but the game i’ve played the most despite my casual gamer status is …. … …. ffxv. surprise, right? the runner up is botw, but xv wins by a landslide. 630+ hours. botw is 350. my main save in ffxv is almost 200 hours i think. damn. i really managed to keep myself entertained with that game… (………i was thinking recently, since the loading screens in xv are so long, how much of this total amount was spent watching screens. i imagine it’s several hours, especially if you fast travel a lot.)

Most embarrassing gaming moment?

many moments in my gaming experience are embarrassing, but a more recent one: i was in xv’s postgame, beating some dungeons on my new save file. i had just finished daurell caverns and hadn’t saved in about 2 hours. (uh oh) i was driving around in the regalia type d and got to the big cliff near lestallum, and remembered someone made a gif of jumping in there so i wanted to try it too. i imagined the game would just put me back on the road, like it does when you crash into something. except it didnt. i got a game over. where was my last save? 2 hours back all the way in hammerhead. yippee.

Scariest video game you’ve played?

i never play horror games, cuz for me games are supposed to be relaxing experiences. no hate towards horror games of course, they just stress me out. the only time ive played horror is when friday the 13th was for free on ps+, and my friends really wanted to play it. (theyre kinda addicted to it now. huh) they had already gotten over the initial fear of having jason chase you, but i was still terrified. i can play the game without getting scared now tho. the horror sound effects just rly freaked me out at first jhsdkghsd

Most memorable gaming moment?

playing breath of the wild for the first time, or beating it for the first time. both experiences were filled to the brim with excitement and nostalgia. seeing botw as a blank slate, a world for you to explore, having no idea where you’re going… that was pretty incredible. now i know every nook and cranny of the map, so i wish i could play it for the first time again. i was so incredibly immersed. beating it was insane. i cried for 30 minutes and the end wasnt even sad, i was just so amazed at the fact that i was really here, playing breath of the wild, it was really real. the fucking main theme in the background (which i cannot for the life of me listen to without crying) didnt help with my emotions sgkdjh

Video game character you wish you could meet in real life?

…………..its prompto again. maybe 2017 me …. was .. kind of a kinnie

PC, Xbox, Playstation, or Nintendo?

i dont care about console wars at all, but i think hardware-wise, pc is the best, because if you have a good pc you can basically do anything. i however do not, so i just play on consoles. ive never particularly liked xbox, so i only play ps4 and nintendo. not the switch though. its kinda petty, but my best friend and i really dont like the switch djghks

Gaming company you’re most loyal to?

none. i used to call myself a nintendo nerd (oh my god…. i m. gonna die) in like 2015 but since the switch came out and since i got a ps4 they kinda lost me. i still like their game series of course, but as a company i don’t care for them. the only reason i see square enix as one of ‘’my’’ gaming companies is because ffxv took up like 70% of my gaming experience, but besides final fantasy i don’t really love them too much either.

If you could only play one video game for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

atm i’m really into ffxiv because theres just so much to do, but that’s just a new, possibly temporary interest. if i had to choose, i’d say botw. maybe i’d say ffxv, but i feel like running around doing nothing in that game isnt very fun, because the world is sorta empty after completing every quest and getting to level 120. in botw, just fucking around on your horse is still really relaxing and nice. 

Do you use strategy guides?

yup. in certain games i try to avoid them but i usually end up stuck or in need of advice. i couldn’t have gotten so many p5 trophies if not for the internet lol

How often do you use cheats?

never, simply because the games i play often do not have cheats. unless im playing the sims and are in need of a motherlode, i dont use them.

Competitive or single player?

single player. im bad at video games and like to do stuff at my own pace. online multiplayer can be fun every now and then in games like mario kart 8 or splatoon, and i also like teamwork stuff like ffxiv or comrades. but ultimately, i prefer playing on my own.

Video game character you want to/have cosplayed?

have never cosplayed, dont have plans to either, but it would be fun to cosplay link. omg. i just remembered i have that fucking chocomoogle shirt… sorry link im gonna slap on some sasuke hair, black jeans and ugly sneakers 

Ever go to a video game convention?

i have not, i have however gone to three (3) video game concerts which is basically the same thing. 

Hardest boss fight you’ve been in?

the hardest bosses for me are usually the ones with a gimmick. you have to use a certain item or tactic to beat them or something. other hard fights for me are when you fight someone with a similar skill set. (in ffxv, this happens twice, once with the iggy-noct sparring match and once against ardyn. somehow, the final boss was easier than getting the prince to eat vegetables.) i don’t know an actual example of THE hardest boss fight ive been in though. at the time, the first bowser battle in mario galaxy was the hardest thing in the universe and i got stuck for like a month. currently, i’m having trouble with the riku-ansem fight in kh1. 

Video game you wish you could burn from your memory?

the zelda cdi games? no, i dont really know. i dont hate a game so much that i’d want to forget about it altogether, but i dont exactly love ocarina of time that much. it hasnt aged well and playing it on the gamecube for the first time in 2015 wasnt a good idea. im sure it was revolutionary at the time, but i cant handle the outdated controls gsdgksjs 

Favorite gaming series?

see, i love ffxv itself more than the entirety of the zelda series, but i dont love ff as a SERIES more than the zelda games. so if were talking series, zelda for sure. i fucking love those games and they mean a lot to me. 

Do you skip tutorials, or find them useful?

i often skip them because i cant pay attention, but then find that i need them anyway. so i usually do skim through them. 

Best online gaming experience?

one really good one happened a few days ago in ffxiv, some guy and i exchanged emotes for like 30 minutes and it ended with us becoming friends on psn :’) ppl dont usually emote back at me in that game so this was really wholesome and nice gjshksdj 

Worst online gaming experience?

i dont really have a worst? theyre more annoying. think try harders in gta online killing you 15 times in a row because they want to show you how good they are or something. magically, online gaming hasnt been too hard on me (mainly because i dont game online that much)

Why do you game?

it brings me joy. it’s a fun way of relaxing, while being stimulated at the same time. games have meant a great deal to me the past 6 years and i wouldnt want to lose them for the world.

[jimmymonet]

my classic “one text post of the year”, my resolutions post! feel free to read if u wish but this is mostly just for myself.

first a reflection on if I followed my 2018 resolutions...

I did start reaching out to more ppl at college! Ive made lots of new friends either through classes or mutual friends! I also specifically I made a ton of friends thru playing Pokemon go on campus :’’’^) and found a lovely group of buddies who I cannot wait to hang out with more next semester!

I have started going out more! having my car on campus and right outside my dorm is so nice. me and my roommate have gone to the mall, art museum, gone downtown to eat, etc. all when we have time. I also spent the majority of my time OUT of my dorm this past semester which is a big improvement from last year (which I mostly owe to pogo and being in the library lol)

I did get a new job! its on campus and in the entomology department so I love it. my work this past semester was pretty easy but next semester I'm gonna have a lot more to do involving extracting DNA and stuff &I'm very excited.

I did sell some art! I sold just a few of my old pieces on etsy but I sold a TON of patches this year! I also took commissions for the first time over the summer and that was a really good experience! I also screenprinted and sold some shirts towards the beginning of this year. I unfortunately didn't get to make a lot of art the last quarter of this year but dam... school is hard lol

I did reorganize my room & make spots for both of my lizards. I still need to go thru and clean a bit 

I am growing out my hair and it looks alright I guess

2018 was pretty good! it started out really bad but I feel like every month has gotten better and better. me and my boyfriend (kind of?) moved in together due to some unfortunate circumstances but I feel like it has allowed us to grow so much as a couple! he has also been working so much towards being healthy and happy and I'm so proud of him aaa I love him so much ;___; we’re also hitting our 4 year anniversary next feb and I'm so excited. we also went to both Philly and Michigan together (and id never been to either) and both were so much fun. in Philly we got to see one of our favorite bands (king gizzard & the lizard wizard) and it was the most fun I've probably ever had (and the hardest I've ever danced) & we also went to some awesome museums. in Michigan we got to hang out with a bunch of cool dudes and go to youmacon and explore Detroit a lil bit. I did art commissions for the first time, made a ton of patches, screen printed, got a new job, made a bunch of new friends, found a lil group of buddies who I love, played some new games, idk the year just got better and better as it went on! looking forward to what 2019 holds....

for 2019...

hang out with my buddies! spend time with my cool & sweet friends that make me happy and stop settling for ppl that make me uncomfortable and make bad decisions lol.... I have a tendency to only see the best in ppl and I'm afraid that will come back to bite me so I gotta be more assertive and stop hanging out w ppl that i know are bad...

go thru my closet and room once again and get rid of stuff I don't want. gotta make my wardrobe perfect and donate stuff I know I won't wear

continue to go out at college and explore places! go to new restaurants, small art shops, cool museums, etc. i love it aaaa

work really hard at my job and hopefully secure a job for next academic year. also move into an apartment at some point.

travel some! I might have the opportunity to go to Madagascar for all of July but ill find out next month. even so I want to go to more places to hang out with buddies that live far away, maybe go to a concert or two, maybe see some cool museums, etc.

continue to grow out my hair til I get sick of it and want to cut & donate it

OH classic new year resolution, go to the gym more! I started going a decent amount this past semester but I completely stopped once I got sick and then started having a bunch of exams. 

watch some new movies n shows. I didn't watch like anything this year but here’s a list of some stuff Ive wanted to watch forever but never got around to it uhh: texas chainsaw massacre, terminator 2 (rewatch), aliens (never seen the whole thing in one sitting), annihilation, hellraiser, idk just a bunch of movies I've never seen that Ive heard are good. also finish reading some books I need to finish

lastly uhhhh I want to reach level 40 in Pokemon Go by the end of next semester lol. thats just a silly one