#it was the language in which he heard about the death of his father and all that. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

flowerandblood · 2 months

Text

The Song of Songs

The Gate of Salvation Universe Oneshot

[ young pope • Aemond x catholic • female ]

[ warnings: soft sex content, fingering, masturbation, smut, sexual tension, anxiety, doubts related to faith, religious guilt ]

[ description: Her relationship with the Pope becomes more than complicated, especially since it looks like he has no intention of giving up on her or their relationship. His efforts lead to her being assigned a special room in the Vatican, where he visits her at night. Main theme: sexual tension & holy touch. ]

This oneshot is the events that take place a few months after The Gate of Salvation. This is a special chapter written to celebrate my one year on this platform, which falls on March 22. I used fragments from the biblical Song of Songs, hence the title oneshot. I recommend everyone to read it, it is the most erotic and at the same time one of the most poetic and beautiful parts of the Bible.

Next: Death and Ressurection (Oneshot)

Aemond as a Pope Edit Series Characters Moodboard Aemond NSFW Alphabet

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

My other works: Masterlist

_____

She was not sure how her presence in the Vatican had become her daily routine, spending more time in the quarters surrounding St Peter's Basilica than in her flat.

Although she tried to protest, the Pope personally made sure that a room was prepared for her to sleep in the private part of the complex reserved for guests. She knew he was still adding to her workload just to make sure she stayed there overnight.

At first, he visited her sporadically, saying he couldn't sleep; he came to her room and spoke about his thoughts, doubts, premonitions, and sought her advice on spiritual and everyday matters.

She listened to him sitting on her bed, not knowing what she should do, how to respond, his worries as Pope were something incomprehensible to her, something she had never thought about before.

Only later did she realise that he did not expect her to solve his complicated problems.

She was his solution.

He only showed her what he really needed later, when he sat down next to her, when he touched her cheek, brushing it with his fingers, his gaze was dreamy, warm, full of tenderness, it made her feel hot in her lower abdomen, a shiver ran down her back.

"My sweet flower." He whispered softly and she drifted off completely, closing her eyes, focusing on the wonderful touch of his hand, her heart pounding hard as his forehead pressed against hers, his shaky breath enveloping her face.

Her fingers found his cheek, his jaw, his hair and his neck, she heard him sigh softly as he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer.

"I need you." He whispered; she could hear how hard it was for him to get those words out, a shy moan escaped her lips as his mouth found hers in a tentative, soft, sticky kiss, her body responding to his closeness with an embarrassing wetness between her thighs.

His kisses became bolder, louder, stickier with his saliva, his warm breath mingling with hers in her throat, his scent filling her entire lungs as he lay on his side, pulling her onto the bed with him.

After what was happening between them at night, he usually needed a day or two to calm down, overwhelmed by how intense their closeness was.

He risked a lot when he started sneaking into her room more often, strolling through the dark marble-lined corridors dressed in his snow-white tracksuit with his hood over his head until he ended up at her door, and fearing that someone would see him, she always let him in, helpless.

"You shouldn't sleep here, Holy Father. What if someone catches us?" She muttered, looking at him pleadingly, already wearing her pyjamas, the same ones she had worn when he had visited her in her flat for the first time.

He looked at her, surprised, pulling the hood off his head, combing his short hair with a careless flick of his hand.

"Do not fret, child. Have faith. God is watching over us." He replied calmly, putting his phone down on her nightstand, pulling his white sneakers off his feet, slipping under her duvet as he did every time he visited her, intending to fall asleep in her bed.

She felt both heat and fear at the sight, swallowing hard as he reached over to the bedside lamp and turned off the light, acting as if this was his room and what he was doing was perfectly normal and ordinary.

She moved uncertainly towards him, knowing there was no point in resisting him and lay down next to him on the bed, sighing quietly as his arm immediately embraced her, snuggling her into his chest.

"− did you say your evening prayer? −" He asked in a whisper, a wonderful, hot shiver ran through her entire body as the tips of his fingers began to comb through her soft hair.

"− yes, Holy Father −" She muttered, feeling that she was losing the battle with herself as she did every time, his closeness, his scent, his voice were addictive to her. Involuntarily her fingers tightened on the material of his sweatshirt at his back, her face snuggled into him, seeking refuge.

"− good − sleep −" He murmured, his lips placing a warm, soft kiss on her hair. She sighed quietly, twisting in her place, feeling how at the sound of his voice and his tender touch her walls clenched tightly, already sticky with her wetness.

It had been two days since he last visited her.

He forbade her to touch herself, saying it was a sin.

She closed her eyes and tried to comply with his request, but she couldn't calm down, feeling his heart pounding fast, his manhood in his sweatpants twitching once in a while, pushing softly against her stomach, making her involuntarily start to rub against him.

"− I'm sorry −" She whispered helplessly in a voice full of shame; she felt him kiss her forehead. His hand immediately slipped under the material of her shorts, running tentatively over her soft buttock before his fingertips found her hot, puffy womanhood, sticky with her moisture.

"− I have obeyed you, Holy Father − I swear −" She mumbled regretfully, panting quietly into his sweatshirt, moving her hips in rhythm with the strokes of his fingers, already experienced in how and where he should squeeze her to give her the greatest pleasure. She heard him gasp as she spread her thighs in front of him, the tips of his fingers beginning to dig into the fleshy structure around her clit with her cry of pleasure.

"− I know, sweet child − I am with you − I will reward your suffering −" He whispered in a low, deep, trembling voice from which a shiver ran along her spine. She clenched her eyes shut, holding back a sob as two of his fingers finally made their way inside her, stretching her throbbing, wet muscles painfully slowly − she clasped her fingers against his back, rising and falling against it with a loud click, feeling that his manhood was already fully hard, throbbing impatiently in his sweatpants.

"− let me, please −" She mumbled pleadingly, lifting her face towards him, his tongue slipping between her lips as she heard his quiet, tender shhh, joining her in a hot, thirsty, sticky kiss.

Even though she begged him to let her relieve himself, to touch his manhood with her hand or lips, he never let her.

He felt that he could not bear the remorse caused by the thought that she had contributed to his sin, that as long as he was the only one touching her, she was not as guilty as he was, and though she disagreed, knowing that she wanted it as much as he did, she tried to respect his decision, to poor effect.

She squirmed loudly as he swapped two of his fingers for his thumb, with which he pressed a spot inside her, his middle and index finger brushing her bud again, teasing her encouragingly.

She felt like her heart was going to jump out of her chest, a helpless whine escaped her lips, his free hand sinking into her hair.

"− please, let me, please, please, please −" She begged, feeling her tears begin to run down her cheeks − she heard him draw in the air loudly, involuntarily pressing his length against her stomach, rubbing against her, searching for any source of relief, his thumb thrust deeper into her wonderful spot making her cry loudly into his mouth, his tongue deep inside her throat.

"− I can't − God, I can't, my sweetest −" He muttered heartbroken, his kisses greedy, full of pleasure, of suffering, of desire, of affection, of tenderness, full of their teeth, their tongues, their lips and their saliva.

She had the feeling he wanted to devour her, her wetness dripping down his hand, her walls beginning to tighten around his thumb, sucking him inside.

"− Holy Father −" She mumbled out with difficulty, hearing that he was panting and moaning along with her, holding her close, his hand pressed against her womanhood as she tilted her head back, moaning in fulfillment, his lips kissing again and again her red, tear-drenched cheeks.

"− I love you − I love you, I love you, I love you −" He whispered in a trembling voice, his hand slid down to her buttock and clamped down on it, pushing her closer, his hips rubbing hungrily against her, trying to chase his own fulfilment. She threw her arms around his neck, joining him in a kiss − he murmured into her mouth in delight, pulling away from her after a moment, looking at her with dreamy eyes.

"− please −" He whispered, stroking her cheek with his shaking hand, her fingers immediately beginning to undo the buttons of her shirt, revealing merely part of her naked body, not uncovering her breasts.

He groaned helplessly at this sight, pressing his forehead against hers, looking down at her exposed skin; she threw her thigh against his waist, responding to the rocking of his hips, and he gasped loudly, turning onto his back with her, his fingers trailing over her sternum down her bare stomach.

"− please − please, please, please −" He breathed out again and tilted his head back with a loud sigh as she began to rub against him, bucking her hips back and forth, his throbbing, swollen cock hidden under the thin material of his sweatpants, leaking already with his precum between her thighs, his fingers tightened involuntarily on her buttocks forcing her to speed up.

"− say it −" He muttered, and she moaned softly, feeling how her hard, popping nipples begin to peek through from under the material of her shirt, betraying her arousal, her insides clenched at his request in pleasure, all moist from her fulfilment.

"− I am yours, Holy Father − both now on earth and after death in heaven −" She whispered sweetly, she saw his lips part in a low groan as she grasped his wrist guiding it to her breast, exposing it with a movement of her shoulder and immediately covering it with his hand, his fingers clenched greedily on her delicate skin, making her merely moan as she felt his cock begin to twitch and throb beneath her in pleasure.

"− so soft − my beautiful sweet flower −" He muttered, lifting himself into a sitting position, his free hand sinking into her hair, the other squeezing her breast greedily, not even for a moment exposing her, his lips swollen with desire sunk into hers, his hips rubbing against her more and more intensely with his throaty moan of desire.

He wanted to come so badly.

He never asked her for it out loud, but she could see it in his gaze as he pressed his forehead against hers, panting loudly, that pleading, ashamed, misty look asking for relief.

She lifted herself slightly then, slipping the material of her shorts off her legs with difficulty, his eyes fixed on her face the whole time as he lowered the material of his sweatpants with his lips spread open at the same time.

"− don't look − come here −" He gasped, pulling her back, groaning loudly as her leaking womanhood pressed against his naked body, his swollen, hard cock throbbing all over and twitching between her thighs, dripping with his precum. The tip of his nose sunk into her cheek as he placed his hands on her naked waist, rocking his hips back and forth, his manhood rubbing against her slick folds.

"− good God − you are so devoted to our Lord, are you not? − always so wet for me −" He exhaled delightedly, speeding up, his lips pressed to her chest, kissing her bare, smooth skin between her breasts, between which hung a small gold cross, a gift from him, which she now wore instead of the one from her grandfather, so that he could have the feeling that a part of him was always with her, touching her naked body.

He never looked down, focusing only on the sense of touch, not wanting to deprive her or himself of their intimacy, to sin by thinking of physicality instead of the spirituality he found in this act of union with her.

"− yes −" She mumbled out with difficulty, responding by bucking her hips to his movements, teasing and squeezing him so that she could hear the loud, sticky click of her own moisture from which they both quickened their pace. Her fingers clamped in his hair, hugging him tighter into her, his fingertips digging into her buttocks, each of his strokes rubbing her clit, making her walls begin to throb wonderfully inside her again.

"− if only I were your husband − if only I could − I'd fuck you every day, morning and evening − after prayer −" He added, as if this was an essential part of that fantasy; she tilted her head back, whimpering with pleasure, his hands sliding lower, between his and her thighs. The thumb of one of them began to brush her clit in circular, sure motions, and the other grasped his manhood, using her moisture as lube − she heard him squeeze himself with a sticky splat, panting loudly, his face pressed against her chest.

"− Holy Father − so good − ah −" She babbled with difficulty, completely absorbed in her own pleasure and his closeness, rising slightly on her knees. She saw him look at her with horror and desire as she positioned herself over the leaking tip of his manhood, but not looking down, resting her hand on his shoulder for balance, letting its fat, pink head push against her fleshy, hot slit.

"− ah − n-no − please − oh fuck − don't stop −" He breathed out, simultaneously trying to escape and thrusting his length deeper between her moist, slick folds, as always he tried to fight with himself, to no avail, his swollen manhood was already halfway in, throbbing like mad.

She pressed her forehead against his with soft moan of delight, closing her eyes, focusing only on the fact that she felt him, that he desired her, that he was loosing his mind because of her.

Once he was deep inside her, his fingers involuntarily dug into the plump skin of her buttocks, shudders of pleasure and disbelief ran through her every time he slammed into her quickly and confidently with greedy, desperate jerks of his hips, unable to contain himself, surrendering to the euphoria that was overtaking them both.

"− God − so tight − so warm − fuckk −" He babbled, opening her wide on his fat cock with each thrust of his hips, she felt every vein on his thick manhood perfectly, every twitch of it, was ashamed of how lewd her moans were, how greedily her walls squeezed him and sucked him in, wanting to keep him inside her.

"− please, please, please, save me −" She mewled sinking up and down on his throbbing length, at the mere feeling of him inside her stretching her fleshy muscles so wonderfully, uniting with her in that final way she came again, tilting her head back with a sweet, surprised cry of pleasure.

She heard his loud, throaty groan when he heard her words and felt her fulfilment on his cock, her moisture running down her thighs, as usual when he felt his was close he slid out of her quickly, cumming into his own hand with a loud sigh of relief that shook his body.

As always his orgasm made tears of pleasure, regret, delight and shame run down his cheeks, which she wiped away quickly leaning over him, snuggling into him, panting loudly, his clean hand immediately embracing her, stroking her back.

She grasped his other wrist, feeling him resist her, wanting to raise his hand higher, to her lips.

"− n-no − stop − it's dirty −" He mumbled through tears, sniffing loudly and sighed, simultaneously heartbroken, helpless and enchanted when she slid his fingers, sticky with his semen deep into her mouth.

"− we have already discussed this − wasting it is a sin, Holy Father − is it not? −" She gasped between flicks of her moist tongue − she heard him swallow hard, looking at her as if charmed, letting her lick his pearly, sticky liquid off his naked skin.

"− I shouldn't − you don't have to −" He began in a trembling voice, watching closely her treatments, unable to look away from this perverted sight.

"− I want to −" She hummed softly, kissing his already clean hand tenderly, smelling of his fulfilment and her saliva; she leaned towards him, hugging her face to his, their hands stroking each other reassuringly.

"− you are the love of my life −" She whispered in his ear, and he sighed quietly, despite the fact that she had repeated it to him so often, he still clearly did not believe that it was true, that she reciprocated his feelings, that she was not disgusted by him, that she had no intention of deceiving or abandoning him.

"− will you forgive me? −" He muttered, and she smiled softly, pressing her face against his hot cheek.

"− I'll forgive you if you forgive me −" She hummed tenderly, hearing him swallow hard.

"− I forgive you, sweet flower −"

"− and I forgive you, Your Holiness −"

She felt him slowly begin to calm down − he wiped his cheeks and she slid off his thighs, quickly putting on her shorts as he headed for her bathroom, locking himself inside to get himself cleaned up.

When he came out he was still quivering.

It seemed to her that the experience of fulfilment was something almost frightening for him, even more so with her when he obviously loved her so dearly.

She reached out her arms to him and he snuggled into her like a small child, pressing his face against her bare skin between her breasts and took a heavy breath, focusing on her hand that covered them tightly with the duvet, then began to stroke his hair with the calm, tender brushes of her fingers.

"Until I met you, I did not understand the Songs of Songs written down by King Solomon. I couldn't get through them, considering them to be sinful texts, I didn't know how they could be part of the Bible. But now I understand. You are my beloved. My bride." He whispered, and she felt a squeeze in her throat at his words, recalling the lyrics of these poems, so filled with metaphors of physical affection that it seemed like a book made for lovers.

How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies. You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.

You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace. How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much more pleasing is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your perfume more than any spice!

Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride; milk and honey are under your tongue. The fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon. You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride; you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain.

"That would make you my beloved, Holy Father." She whispered quietly, gently brushing his hair with her fingers, feeling how quickly her heart began to pound at this shameless confession.

She heard him hum under his breath, delighted, moving his lips over her bare skin, kissing tentatively a small part of her soft, plump, exposed breast.

"Indeed. I have never felt the presence of God so much as when I am with you. Inside you. When I kiss your naked body. I think then: God must exist, since He has placed such a perfect being before me to be my joy and comfort." He muttered, his lips leaving again and again the sticky, warm trail of his mouth on the bare skin of her breast.

"This is my heaven on earth." He whispered into her warm skin, running his large hand down her back under the material of her shirt, and she smiled at his words, for some reason fulfilled and happy.

"As is mine."

278 notes · View notes

readychilledwine · 8 months

Note

Hey. It's me again. I was wondering if you could write something. Where reader is taking care of her younger siblings because her father who was a single dad had died due to some illness which she has now and it is going to kill her. The ic notices last minute. Az is just pissed because she is his wife and she made up a lie to break his heart. You can decided if there is a cure they found or not. Thanku. Hope you are doing well

I'm convinced you want me to break Azriel's (and my) heart, and I almost did it this time 👀👀👀👀

Losing Forever

Warnings - illness, mentions of death, heartbreak, losing a family member, angst with a happier ending than originally planned, mentions of medical procedures and blood. Ps- there's a little hint of Azris in there if you squint. 👀

A/n - I changed the ending of this two or three times, and I'm not 100% happy, but that's my inner perfectionist. I seriously considered something less happy, but I think I mentally care about Azriel having a happy ending way too much.

🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

Madja stared at you in silence. "Where and how?" The healer finally said before pulling any books she could. "Y/n, where and how?"

She had confirmed your fear as you began to pick at the loose skin on your nails. "My father had written for me," you went into the story, the old healer looking at you every so often as she flipped through page after page.

The conclusion was the same. Illryian Fever. You had heard of it wiping whole camps clean. Incurable, deadly, and incredibly painful for the affected. "You cannot go home. You could pass this to Nyx, Rhys, Azriel, or Cassian if they get too close to you." You nodded. "I will keep looking, y/n, but I have to go tell the High Lord which camp it was spreading through and that you have it."

Your trip home had taken much longer than you and Azriel had believed it would. He crossed his arms over his chest as Madja sat across from Rhys. The healer's face was pale. Her hands shaking with nerves. "Not that I am unhappy to see you, old friend, but why are you here?" Rhys leaned back a brow raised.

They heard her throat clear before a pregnant pause came. "Illyrian fever struck the Snowfall Camp. At least 50 are dead, countless are infected." Azriel's heart froze, and Cassian looked at him.

Rhys swallowed thickly. "Why do you have this information before I do?" He prayed to the Mother that the answer they all knew was coming wouldn't be said. "Surely, if it was spreading, I would know by now."

Madja rose a brow at Rhysand before taking his hand in hers. "You know the answer to that question, High Lord. She's in the Halls of Healing. I will not allow her to come out here. I will not allow visitors until a shield is in place." Rhys closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose between two fingers. "I need anything you can get me regarding similar strands of illnesses if there will be a small chance of saving her."

Azriel felt Cassian grab him as his knees gave out. He felt his brother lowering him to the floor. He couldn't hear Rhys and Madja trying to talk to him. Every sound was muffled as if he was underwater, his heart rate was skyrocketing, his eyes wide with panic. The sound of his heartbeat increasing became a pounding drum. The noise was all he could focus on until your soft voice came into his mind.

Just a week, my love. Father said Luka, and he had simple colds. I will be right back to you. He rewatched the moment now, replaying the subtle things in your body language. The distant look in your eyes, the way you kissed him harder than you had for any other previous goodbye.

You knew, he realized, you knew, and you lied.

After countless hours spent hunched over books and chasing away sleep, Rhys had found a way for them to all see you. He kept a shield between you all, clutching Nyx tightly to him as he tried to reach you and cried for his favorite aunt.

It had been a week with no news regarding a cure, and your body was clearly tired of fighting. You had stopped eating 2 days ago, spending hours now in the throes of sleepless dreams and fevered nightmares. He had brought the heir to say goodbye, knowing from Madja's predictions, the progression, and years of experience you had until morning unless a miracle came.

Feyre was in the room with you. Holding your hand as she sobbed heavily into the bed. She could not pass the disease unless she made the choice to shift, and the wall Rhys was offering was too much for her. She needed to hold your hand to feel your soft palms one last time. But, it was too much for him as well. The sight of you like this was eating away at him. "Feyre, darling, please." She nodded, with one last kiss goodbye placed on your forehead.

Cassian and Nesta came next. Lady Death was held back by her husband, his hand resting on her swollen stomach. He took in your peaceful face, the countless medications being pumped into you to keep you comfortable. Ness unleashed a heartbreaking cry after they had spent almost an hour talking to you, hoping your mind wasn't lost enough that it could hear them still. Cassian took that as the cue, gently ushering his wife out of the room and into the large area Madja had set up for the Inner Circle to wait in.

It went on like that until they had all visited you. Elain and Lucien, then Mor, then Amren. Eris had even come, warming your room and sheets more as he watched you shiver. He walked back into the room, kissing Elain's temple to greet his sister in law before placing a supportive hand on Azriel's shoulder.

It was not every day someone felt the mating bond fading. Numbness had taken over the spymaster, along with anger, as he found letters confirming you knew what you were possibly walking into. But you had done it for your father. Your brother.

You had done it because they had no one else. Your mother was long gone, and your sisters married off to other camps. He did not rank high enough to garner attention from healers, your half brother was merely a child, and it would have been seen as survival of the fittest.

You had risked your life to ensure their last moments were comfortable, and now Azriel would pay that price.

"Azriel," Madja said softly, "if you want to say goodbye, you need to now." Eris and Lucien all but dragged the male to your room when he refused to move, shutting the door behind him and waiting in the hall.

Azriel felt ill as he took you in. This wasn't you. The sickly pale skin, the hallow cheeks, the lack of laughter and light. He felt a knot forming in his throat as he mindless stepped as close to you as he could before the shock of the barrier hit him.

He couldn't even hold your hand in your last moments. He sat in the chair slowly. "Why didn't you tell me?" His voice finally broke the heaviness of the room. "Why did you lie to me?" He felt tears damping his lashes before falling. "You are my mate, y/n. Why did you lie to me about this?"

He watched you, knowing he wouldn't get a response. "I'm fucking angry. I have to spent your last moments angry with you because of a choice you made. We could have sent healers, love," his voice cracked. "We could have sent anyone but you."

Azriel was openly weeping now. "You promised me forever, y/n. You promised me years of love, joy, and unconditional happiness." He knew you had not broken the latter of the 3. You had given Azriel countless memories. Countless moments of laughter, of warmth and love.

You had melted that icy part deep down in his soul that was slowly resolidifying as he accepted the loss and anger he felt. "You promised me forever, and you shit on it. You shit on me, on my feelings, our marriage, our bond." The coldness grew with each word. "Did you even actually love me, or was that a lie too?"

He knew deep down it wasn't and watched as your finger, the one with your wedding ring, twitched. Rhys entered the room calmly behind him. "She can fucking hear you, Azriel. She's awake," he chastised. "Do not let your last moments with her be moments of anger and self sabot-" Rhys froze, his eyes flicking to the doorway. Hope filled Rhysand's features. "Hold on, y/n. Just please keep fighting, sis."

Madja and Helion, followed by Thesan, ran into the room. Rhys pulled Azriel back and away, making room for the three of them to work. "Mother, fuck," Helion said softly as he took your hand. "This better work fast, Thesan."

The Lord of Dawn rolled his eyes. "I didn't exactly have countless illyrians lining up to test it, Helion. Especially not ones in this advanced of a condition." Azriel flinched as Thesan shoved something into the vein of your hand. A soft whimper of pain fell from your throat. "I know, lovely. I'm sorry. This might be very uncomfortable." He set a bag of clear glowing liquid on the rack. "Who's blood?"

"Mine," Helion immediately offered. "I don't want to risk you taking it home to your winged legion from potential blood contact."

Thesan's jaw twitched. "I don't know if you can handle another one, Hel."

"Use me." A calm cool voice said from the doorway. "I owe him a life debt. Use me." Thesan nodded, motioning for the owner of the voice to move closer.

Eris stepped forward and through the shield, taking the seat Helion had moved closer to you. The heir held your hand gently as Thesan tapped into his vein. "You might be here awhile, Eris." The heir nodded. "I also cannot promise you doing this will save her, but it's her best shot until Tarquin, Tamlin, or Kallias can get here. It works best with a high lord's blood."

Your breathing had evened out, and Azriel watched in silence as Thesan hooked one more needle to your opposite arm from Eris and into a different container. He back away along with Helion, watching as Eris's blood slowly began to travel the tubes and into you, and your own began to leave.

"There's a similar illness in the Peregryn and the Seraphim," Thesan began slowly. "Drakon and I figured this out many years ago. The contagion cannot survive high fae blood for some reason. We had figured Rhysand's father would have done the same, but it appears not considering the situation."

Rhys scoffed slightly. "You two give my father far too much credit on anything. Velaris is the best thing he created, with the exception of myself of course." The joke broke the tension. "How long until she's not contagious."

Helion motioned towards the bag. "The second that started pumping into her, she stopped. That is water from the fountain Amarantha tried to destroy under the mountain. It's sacred and all healing. We were hoping with how poorly she was doing it would prevent anything from progressing further."

Azriel felt the shield drop and ran to your open side. Taking a cold hand in his, feeling the weight of your ring. "This was successful in the camps. I apologize it took us so long to get here. Finding Illyrians willing to help us help them instead of accept death was-" Helion just shrugged, looking at Rhys. "You all are too stubborn for your own good. Eris, what do you want for food? You'll need it."

Rhys held his hand up. "I know where he likes to eat here. I will send you two food. I'm going to get everyone else out for a break, though. And to explain what's happening." He motioned for Thesan and Helion to come with him, squeezing Azriel's shoulder and shooting Eris one last look before shutting the door.

Silence fell between the two of them, both of their eyes locked on you. "If this saves her, you need to grovel and apologize immediately." Eris would not look at him. "I would have never said to my mate what you said to her on their deathbed."

Azriel nodded. "Why are you doing this?"

Eris finally looked up at him, before looking at you. "You came and saved me from that bitch of a queen and the deathless God, Azriel. She nursed me back to health and healed me after countless beating from my father. You are my friends, even if you do not acknowledge that. I care about you, Az." Eris paused, his eyes focused on the fire, starting it back up into a gentle blaze to heat the room again. "Besides, I quite enjoy your wife. She is wonderful. Even if you are a moody brute."

Azriel laughed lightly. Allowing silence to fall between the two of them again. His shadows appeared some time later with two books from thin air, taking one to Eris and dropping one in Azriel's lap. They then pushed side tables to the two males as Rhys sent them food.

Eris guffawed in awe as Azriel's shadows began to cut their steaks. "Is this your way of saying thank you, shadowsinger?" Azriel nodded. Opening his mouth while staring at Eris to allow his companions to feed him. "You're welcome, Azriel. She looks better already." And you did. Color had slightly returned to your face. Your lashes occasionally fluttered against your cheeks.

They welcomed in quiet again, finishing their meals and desserts before a soft knock came on the door almost an hour later. A shadow opened it, and Eris's face almost fell before he chuckled through his breath. "You are not the one I was expecting."

The scent of rain and fresh cut grass hit Azriel. Had this been a different circumstance, Azriel would have shielded you, protectrd you, but he knew there was only one way this male got in, and that sacrifice from Rhysand shocked him.

"My schedule clears easily these days." Tamlin placed a hand on Azriel's shoulder. "You look like shit, Azriel." The shadowsinger watched Thesan appear and began to unhook Eris.

The heir moved to the chair by Azriel, drinking the water a shadow had handed to him as the small puncture wound instantly healed. They watched as Thesan hooked Tamlin up to you. They watched as Tamlin's blood seemed to instantly make a huge difference. You had stopped shivering completely. Your body relaxed. You were even breathing deeper.

Thesan observed for a while. Watching as Rhys then sent Tamlin food, causing the two high lords to laugh. "Tarquin will be here by morning, and Kal will be here tomorrow afternoon. The Inner Circle is each going to take turns after you, with the exception of Rhysand. Feyre will sit in his place. Then Tarquin, Kal, then Helion and myself. I think it will take all of us since she was so advanced into the illness."

Tamlin nodded. "I apologize I was not here sooner."

Thesan shook his head. "Eris was more than enough to get her off the brink. Now, all you have to do is sit and stabilize her, and from there, we will heal her."

Thesan crossed his arms in front of his body, brows raised as he nodded to the plate in front of Tamlin. "I was informed not to leave until you ate a bite." Tamlin laughed as shadows copied their previous motions, cutting his steak like they had for Eris before holding a bite to his face.

Eris had fallen asleep, his head resting on Azriel's shoulder. Thesan grabbed a blanket, pulling it over the heir, and Azriel wrapped a wing around him on instinct as well.

"She's going to recover, Azriel," Thesan said. "Might want to start writing that apology letter. Rhys said her thoughts regarding you were not kind when she called for him. Something about stupid illyrian brutes and over egotistical bastards?"

Tamlin and Azriel laughed. Azriel didn't take his eyes off of you as you shakily raised a single finger to him. "So a fancy date, an apology letter, and a vacation. Noted, my love."

#acotar #acotar x reader #azriel acotar #azriel x reader #azriel

570 notes · View notes

dreamwritesimagines · 3 months

Text

The Eye of the Hurricane [6] - Drinks

A.N: Here’s the new chapter my loves! ❤️ Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback, you made my day! ❤️I hope you’ll like this chapter as well and please don’t forget to tell me what you think! ❤️

Summary: Rumors can spread fast.

Word Count: 3500

Pairing: MobBoss!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Violence, death, guns, crime, blood, explicit language, drinking. This is an AU, friendly reminder that I don’t condone any of the actions depicted on this story and please read with care.

Series Masterlist

Well, that night's argument hadn't stayed private as you knew it would not, and it had a hilarious consequence.

Usually, the underworld kept its secrets. The family business, money, alliances, they were all kept from outsiders and everyone who was involved in it was advised the same thing; never ever say anything to anyone unless you want to get killed.

That rule however, did not exactly apply to romance or the rumors of it.

So in the following days, almost everyone who was in the business knew about your very loud rejection of Bucky's marriage proposal, and the mere mention of it was enough to shock everyone. Bucky was the golden heir turned boss, he was basically the prince of the city while you two were growing up, and you couldn't think of one occasion where he got rejected. As if trying to show everyone that he couldn't care less about that rejection, he had spent the rest of the week being seen with a different girl at the clubs and taking them home but it still did nothing to stop the chatter.

Which would have been quite entertaining for you, if your father hadn't also heard about it and asked you to visit him at the company.

You huffed out a breath as the elevator doors opened and you stepped out to the hallway before making your way down the hall. You could probably find your way in this skyscraper with your eyes closed, you had spent nearly your whole childhood playing here so you didn't even stop by the receptionist before approaching the glass door, seeing your father behind his desk, with Ian sitting on the couch. You heaved a sigh, then opened the door to step inside.

“Daddy?”

“Y/N sweetheart,” he said and got up to kiss your cheek. “Welcome.”

“Hi,” you said. “Ian.”

“Y/N.”

“Sit down, sit down!” your father said. “Are we keeping you from your plans?”

You shrugged your shoulders as you sat down on the armchair across from his desk.

“Not really,” you said. “Me and Becca and Sarah are all going to this new club tonight, but that's it.”

Ian hummed. “Which one?”

“You're not invited,” you said calmly and Ian shot you a glare, then held up his hands.

“Don't worry, some of us have actual jobs rather than having fun.”

“Enough you two,” your father said. “Y/N my dear, I won't keep you long. I just wanted to ask you about Bucky.”

Your head shot up and you leaned back, trying to keep your expression completely nonchalant.

“About Bucky?”

“Please, everyone is talking about it,” Ian said without lifting his glances off his phone as he typed a text. “Did he really propose?”

“Ian.”

“Uncle, a possible relationship between him and her is more than just romance, you know that.”

“She can hear you,” you said, glaring at him and Ian rolled his eyes.

“Y/N—”

“I said enough,” your father said. “Ian, leave the room.”

You tried to repress the smile on your face as Ian let out a breath, then pushed himself off of the couch to walk out of the office. You gave your father a bright smile but he only shot you a disapproving look.

“Must you two snark at each other all the time?” he asked. “We're family.”

“The fact that he's family is the only reason why I haven't shot him yet,” you deadpanned as your father motioned at his assistant for two coffees, and you crossed your legs.

“So?” he asked. “You and Bucky?”

“There's nothing going on between us.”

“But he proposed?”

You paused for a moment, then cleared your throat.

“Not exactly,” you said. “It was a hypothetical argument really. Bucky is convinced he's quite the catch, I was just bringing him down to the real world.”

“A hypothetical argument.” he repeated and you nodded.

“Mm hm.”

“And you want to keep it hypothetical?”

You raised your brows. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“You two grew up together,” he said with a sigh. “I'll be honest, I'm nowhere near ready to see you get married, but Bucky knows the business, he's powerful enough to protect you—”

“I can protect myself daddy,” you cut him off. “You made sure of it.”

Your father ran a hand over his face and you tilted your head.

“You think it’s a good idea.”

He paused for a moment. “Well, it goes without saying that your opinion matters more here.”

“Well yes because thankfully we’re not in the 18th century anymore,” you commented. “But tell me anyway.”

“Hypothetically speaking, that kind of marriage would prove to be beneficial—”

“To all the psychiatrists in the city.”

“Y/N.”

“Sorry,” you said with a grin as the assistant brought your coffees and you thanked him. “Go on.”

“Would it be without issues?” your father asked. “Of course not.”

“Me making myself a widow could prove to be an issue yeah.”

“It would change the balance in the city, bringing the two families together…” your father trailed off. “Ian has his doubts about it but—”

“Ian doesn’t like it?” you asked with a huff of a laughter. “If you wanted to sell the idea to me, you should’ve led with that daddy.”

“But overall,” your father continued as if you didn’t cut him off again. “He agrees it could be good for the family and the business.”

You clicked your tongue, then reached out to grab your coffee cup.

“I’m not in the business,” you pointed out, bitterness seeping into your voice. “You made sure of that also.”

That made your father hesitate and he heaved a sigh.

“Y/N, sweetheart…”

“Is that all?” you forced yourself to ask and your father smiled slightly.

“Does he love you?” he asked back and you rolled your eyes.

“Not at all,” you said. “Which is a good thing if you ask me. I wouldn’t marry him if he was the last man on earth.”

Your father held up his hands, gesturing surrender.

“If you say so,” he said and you took another sip of your coffee, then put it on the small coffee table and stood up from your chair.

“I’ll see you later?”

“Mm hm,” he said, letting you kiss his cheek. “And Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Your bodyguards are coming with you to that club.”

You let out an annoyed groan. “Becca will have her bodyguards already—”

“No,” he said, pointing at you. “We talked about this before, and you have already beene attacked once.”

“The guy is dead though.”

“We still don’t know who he was working for,” your father said. “In any case, it’s not up for discussion.”

You huffed out.

“Fine, fine…” you murmured and walked out of the office to see Ian leaning against the wall, still busy with his phone.

“So?” he said. “Should I go pick a suit for the wedding?”

“Sorry to disappoint,” you said with a fake smile and he let out a dry laugh.

“You know,” he said. “If Barnes actually wants to marry you, he must be more stupid than I thought. Poor guy.”

You clicked your tongue.

“Ian I’d love to stay here and do this, but I actually have a life outside this building, friends who are not on my payroll and such, you know?” You pointed back at the office with your thumb. “But you can go back in now and pretend your opinions matter.”

With that, you walked away from him to the elevator, not even sparing him another glance.

“The love of Becca’s life” as Becca called her turned out to be a nice girl named Leila whom you decided would be your friend after spending about five minutes with her. Ethan was running late -some last minute issue at the company- but he said he would be there in half an hour, so you figured you could start drinking with Becca and Leila beforehand.

“I mean listen, if you want it go for it but all my friends who got back together with their exes soon remembered why they broke up in the first place,” Leila said as you sucked on the straw of your cocktail, then shook your head.

“We barely count as exes, and it wasn’t a bad break up,” you said. “And it was back at college, everyone is an idiot in college times.”

“I know I was,” Becca said and Leila grinned.

“Me too,” she said as her phone beeped, and she checked it, then raised her brows and held up the phone at Becca.

“Aw, she’s not coming.”

You tilted your head. “Who?”

“My friend,” Leila said. “That’s a shame, she was very excited.”

“To come to the club?”

“That and to possibly see her brother,” Leila pointed at Becca with an apologetic smile and Becca made a face.

“Ew!”

“What’s going on?” you asked and Leila shrugged her shoulders.

“She and Becca’s brother had a thing like three years ago apparently?” she said. “I’d say small city but it’s not, it’s weird.”

“Kind of the same circle but not really,” Becca said and you scrunched up your nose.

“Ah.”

“I mean you should have heard the way she was talking about him,” Leila said with a laugh. “I’d tell you but Becca needs to cover her ears.”

“I do not want to be traumatized thank you,” Becca said. “I already go to therapy once a week—Sarah!”

Someone pressed a kiss on your cheek and you turned to smile brightly at Sarah, then hugged her sideways when she sat next to you.

“You’re here!”

“Only because I promised you,” she said. “I’ll have one drink and go home.”

“I still take that as a win—Sarah, this is Leila,” you introduced them. “Leila, this is Sarah, our best friend.”

“Whom we can barely see because she’s literally saving lives,” Becca said with a proud smile and Sarah waved a hand in the air.

“Don’t. It’s very nice to meet you,” she told Leila, then turned to me. “What is this I hear about Bucky proposing to you? Are you two actually getting married?”

Leila’s eyes widened.

“Oh shit,” she said. “I’m so sorry Y/N, if I knew about you and him, I wouldn’t bring up my friend and him having…a thing earlier.”

“What? No!” you said in a rush. “It’s totally fine.”

“Is it?”

“Your friend could be here and the only thing I’d ask her is if Bucky put a mirror between them in bed so that he could fulfill his lifelong dream of—”

“Y/N!”

“It’s a valid theory that I have, and I’m genuinely curious!” you defended yourself as Leila started laughing.

“Oh God…” she said. “I apologize either way.”

“You really shouldn’t—your friend slept with him, who hasn’t?” you asked while Sarah motioned for the waitress, then ordered her drink. “I mean not me I have principles, but you get what I mean.”

“But he asked you to marry him?” Leila asked and you shrugged your shoulders.

“Ours would be a unity of minds,” you said solemnly while Becca played with her hair.

“Unity of two braincells, more like it.”

“And we’re not together,” you added and Leila stole a glance at Becca as if she was confused, and Becca mouthed ‘later’ while you tilted your head at Sarah.

“Who did you hear it from by the way?”

“Sam told me,” she said as the waitress brought her a drink. “He’s also very entertained by that whole thing.”

“We all are,” Becca said and your phone vibrated in your hand, Ethan’s name flashing across the screen. You looked around, then stood up.

“I’ll be right back,” you said and made your way down the stairs, then passed the dance floor and stepped outside with your bodyguards following you.

“Y/N!” you heard Ethan’s voice and you turned your head, then smiled at him as the bouncer immediately stepped aside.

“Miss Y/N, he didn’t tell us he was your friend.”

“Oh no worries,” you said as Ethan approached you.

“Hey,” he said, kissing your cheek. “You look amazing.”

“Aw thank you, so do you!” you said, then grabbed his wrist to pull him along as you walked back into the club.

“They’re not letting anyone in,” Ethan told you, making you shoot him a small smile.

“Just give my name the next time and they’ll let you pass,” you told him and he let out a whistle.

“Just how far does your reach go?”

“Very far,” you said with a wink, then led him up the stairs before walking into the VIP room. You quickly introduced Ian to the girls, and took your seat, Ethan sitting right next to you.

“You were my doctor!” Ethan told Sarah. “The uh…the other night.”

“I was,” Sarah said. “Feeling better I hope?”

“Much better,” Ethan said and ordered a beer to the waitress by the door. “Thank you again by the way.”

“Not a problem,” Sarah said and Becca smiled at him.

“So Ethan,” she said. “I’ve heard so much about you. Y/N says you’re a data analyst?”

“I am,” Ethan nodded. “I just moved to the city, and Y/N has been nice enough to show me around.”

“Do you like it here so far?”

“People are exceptionally rude,” he answered with a grin. “My neighbor looked at me like I’d grown two heads when I greeted him the other day.”

“I don’t think I know any of my neighbors,” Leila mused and before you could comment on it, a familiar voice reached inside the room.

“No Sam but I’m just saying—” Bucky stopped by the entrance the moment he caught the sight of you and he raised his brows.

“Hey,” he said after a beat, his lips curling into a smirk. “Mind if we join you?”

“Jesus…” Becca heaved a sigh and turned to Leila. “Do you wanna dance?”

“Sure!”

“Great, let’s go,” she said as she stood up and left the room with Leila following her. Sam and Bucky entered the room, a girl following Bucky right behind him, and you could see they were holding hands. You tried not to roll your eyes and smiled at Sam instead.

“Hey there.”

“It’s been a while,” he said as he squeezed at your shoulder, then sat next to Sarah. Bucky took a seat, and the girl sat right next to him, still not letting go of his hand.

“Look at that, you’re here too,” Bucky told Ethan. “Let’s hope tonight ends better for you than your other date huh?”

You held onto Ethan’s arm, leaning your head on his shoulder without saying anything and Bucky’s jaw clenched.

“Fingers crossed for that,” Ethan said. “But in any case, my awesome doctor is here so I’m prepared if it doesn’t.”

Sarah chuckled and Bucky leaned back on the couch.

“Sam, this is Emmett—”

“Ethan,” you and Ethan corrected him at the same time and Bucky’s smile widened.

“My bad,” he said. “He’s Y/N’s… friend.”

“Nice to meet you,” Ethan told Sam while you played with the straw in your cocktail, keeping your glances on the girl.

“And you are?”

“Allison,” she said and you exchanged glances with Sarah who shook her head at you as if telling you not to do what you were about to, but you turned to Allison.

“It’s nice to meet you,” you said. “Excuse my manners, it’s just that we don’t often see Bucky spending time with women vertically, so it took me a minute to shake off the shock.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes at you while Sam pursed his lips, trying to keep a straight face.

“But look at you Buck!” you told him. “You’re improving yourself.”

“At least one of us is,” Bucky stated, making you glare at him. Sam cleared his throat, shifting his weight.

“Ethan just moved to the city,” Sarah said in an attempt to change the subject and Ethan nodded fervently.

“Yeah it’s been less than a month, I’m pretty new here.”

“And he says people are rude, including his neighbors,” Sarah said and Sam chuckled.

“Let me guess, you grew up in a small town?”

“That obvious?” Ethan asked while you and Bucky glared at each other, neither of you averting your glances. Allison frowned slightly.

“Is everything okay?”

“Great.”

“Peachy.” Both you and Bucky said at the same time and the waitress walked inside with drinks. Bucky took his glass of whiskey, then took a sip while Ethan sat up straighter.

“I’m just saying, where I grew up, people liked helping others and making friends.”

“You grew up in Narnia?”

“Okay I know how it sounds,” Ethan said with a laugh. “But I mean I guess it’s what I’m used to. I want to go back eventually but…”

“Yeah?” Bucky asked, grinning. “Look at that Charm. He wants to move back to a small town.”

“It’s a future plan, after decades probably,” Ethan added in a rush. “It’s just so peaceful there—”

“And Charm loves peaceful,” Bucky said. “She eventually wants to just leave this all behind and go live in a cute cottage or something, away from the family business.”

You gritted your teeth, putting your cocktail glass down and Ethan looked between you two while Sarah ran a hand over her face.

“You’d fit right in too,” Bucky told you. “I hear people in small towns never let anything go and can hold grudges for years.”

“You on the other hand wouldn’t fit in at all,” you shot back. “Ethan says people are nice there so I doubt they tolerate anyone who’s an arrogant asshole.”

“There it is,” Sam murmured. “They lasted longer than I thought.”

Ethan blinked a couple of times. “Uh, how about we all just calm down—”

“They won’t,” Sarah said helpfully and Sam heaved a sigh.

“I knew I should’ve left with Steve.”

“You really can’t wrap your mind around the fact that people can change, can you?” Bucky asked as you leaned forward, glaring daggers at him.

“Oh I can wrap my mind around that just fine; people can change, you however—” you started but your phone started vibrating on the table so you grabbed it, seeing your father’s caller ID flash across the screen.

“I’ll be back,” you said and pushed yourself off the couch, then made your way out of the club, your bodyguards following you. You took a couple of steps away from the building so that the music wouldn’t be as loud, then answered the phone.

“Daddy?”

“Y/N sweetheart,” he said. “You didn’t text me when you got there.”

“Oh I forgot!” you said, leaning back against the wall. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright,” he said. “You and Becca are having fun?”

“Mm hm,” you said. “At least I was until Bucky showed up.”

“Bucky is there too?” he asked. “That’s good.”

You rolled your eyes. “Daddy…”

The amusement in his voice was clear; “I’m just saying.”

“I’m going to hang up now,” you told him and he chuckled.

“Be very careful alright? And don’t stay until the dawn.”

“We’ll see about that, love you!” you said and hung up before he could argue. You pushed yourself off the wall but as soon as you turned, your eyes fell on Bucky and you let out a groan.

“Jesus Christ, what is it this time?” you asked. “Let me guess, have my babies or something?”

Bucky shot you an almost reprimanding look.

“If you insist,” he said, making you scoff before you saw his driver stopping the car in front of you both and he opened the door for him.

“You’re leaving?” you asked and Bucky’s head shot up, a look of surprise crossing his handsome features.

“Did you—me and Sam are meeting Steve, something came up but do you want to come with?”

“Absolutely not,” you said quickly. “It was just a question.”

Bucky paused for a moment and cleared his throat.

“So now that you got your revenge, are you happy?”

“My revenge?”

“Yeah,” Bucky said. “What, I broke your heart almost ten years ago—”

“That’s kind of an exaggeration.”

“And now everyone knows you turned my proposal down.”

“Also kind of an exaggeration to call that nonsense a proposal,” you pointed out and he held up his hands, mocking surrender.

“So when will you get rid of him?” he asked and you pulled your brows together.

“Ethan?” you asked. “What makes you think I want to?”

Bucky’s lips curled into a smile.

“Because he will bore you,” he said. “And as much as you like to think otherwise, you don’t do boredom.”

“Oh right, because you know so much about me,” you stated, sarcasm laced in your tone. “Sure.”

Bucky’s piercing blue eyes held your gaze for a moment, making your heart skip a beat before he took a deep breath, as if trying to pull himself together.

“Let me know when you’re done with the whole poems and roses bullshit and want actual power,” he told you as he walked to his car. “Ready when you are, Charm.”

The driver closed his door and you glared at the car as it drove away, then rolled your shoulders back.

“In your dreams buddy,” you grumbled to yourself, then flipped the phone in your hand and made your way back into the club.

Chapter 7

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #mob!bucky barnes x reader #mob!bucky barnes #mob!bucky x reader #mob!bucky #mob bucky barnes #mob bucky barnes x reader #mob bucky x reader #mob boss!bucky #mob bucky #mob boss bucky barnes #bucky x reader #mafia!bucky barnes #mafia bucky x reader #mafia bucky barnes #mafia!bucky #mob au #mob!au

330 notes · View notes

yongility · 1 month

Text

NEO TV # I LIKE ME BETTER WHEN I'M WITH YOU. (jaehyun x reader) 2/?

genre: angst, suggestive, gang au, rich kid au, enemies to lovers (kinda), a lil of fluffy stuff. slowburn, series.

warnings: drug use mentions, gangs, fights, use of weapons, adult language, illegal activities, cheating (not on the main couple), toxic family environment, addictions, manipulation, insecurities, illegal street racing, death mentions. jeno is jaehyun's younger brother, angst, smut and if I slip something my bad haha.

word count: +10k? (I really went all for this chapter)

a/n: I'm a sucker for cliche stuff so as soon as this fic popped in my mind I had to write it down, english isn't my first language tho.

I’m sorry if this is too long TT, but this is kinda a slowburn? it might contain a lot of parts so wait for part 3! One of the reasons this is long af it’s because I would like to show you how Jaehyun and (Y/N)'s life is before they get together! So pls pls don’t skip anything I hope you like it!

if you want to be in the taglist, just lemme know;) enjoy!

Jung Jaehyun was an idiot.

But he was a clever idiot, and anyone who knew him would know that.

That's why within Neo Zone, his boss had the trust he had in him. Jaehyun was his best guy, or at least that's what he proclaimed enthusiastically every time the boy handed him a new payment for the merchandise he had to sell in his area.

None of his guys were as good negotiators as Jung Jaehyun.

He didn't know if it was because of the particular and convincing way he spoke or if it was because of the bad boy appearance he had, which made people pay him everything they owed him with just a bad look from him. Jaehyun didn't consider himself good at many things, but he was definitely good with numbers, maybe because since the initiation of his gang almost eight years ago, his only job was to maintain the sale - and sometimes purchase - of merchandise. So the numbers always, always had to be exact unless he wanted his boss to get angry and face consequences.

Because despite being a good worker, Jaehyun had faced consequences on multiple occasions.

His scars around his body were not a deco. They didn't have the purpose of scaring away anyone who stood in front of him. They had a slightly different origin than most people thought. Yes, some were the result of a street fight that possibly took place in one of the underground races. Perhaps from a fight against another dealer who tried to sell in his area, but many of them were caused during his early years in the business, where being a kid with little knowledge of how to handle the merchandise he carried with him, things would go wrong and he had to be punished by his own boss and the elders of the gang.

As he often heard during those years, he learned the easy way or the hard way.

Jaehyun's initiation into the gang was different from what other teenagers in Neo Zone had experienced.

In his own defense, he never believed that his initiation had been extreme compared to the experiences he had heard about, however, Jaehyun had to join the gang at the age of eleven.

Normally initiations took place between fourteen and fifteen years old, but there was an exception with the boy. Families in Neo Zone had to have at least one active member in the gang - commonly the man was that member - and it didn't matter if it was the grandfather, father, or son. There always had to be one if they wanted to continue with the safety of their family.

Because being active ensured you the protection that Lee Sooman could offer your family.

So when Jaehyun's father was brutally killed in what they called a clash in a raid. The next member of the Jung family had to take his place, and being Jaehyun the oldest brother and becoming the man of the house, he had to answer for the protection of his family, at his young age of eleven. The boy's duties initially did not involve business as such, since he was still inexperienced in the matter, but Lee Sooman took him under his wing and managed to get Jaehyun to accompany him wherever he was to start acquiring the knowledge he expected to have thanks to the experiences he had with his new boss.

But there was a time when Jaehyun had other aspirations.

There was a time when Jaehyun appreciated getting up to go to school to learn, not to keep his business running. There was a time when the boy could approach his mother while she cooked, sing together, and dance with his little brother happily.

There was a time when Jaehyun loved to sing, and all those little things that brightened his life even a little were damaged by the businesses he was starting to manage.

Because by now, Jaehyun wouldn't just be a dealer.

Lee Sooman expected a lot from him.

And he hated that he did.

If only he could escape from that zone, he would do it as soon as the first opportunity arose, but things weren't as easy as he thought.

And he knew that more than anyone else.

In the end, the only reason for his mere existence currently and the only reason he endured all he had to endure was for his family, which meant everything to him. It was all he had, it was all that drove him to continue, and it was all that gave him the strength to get up every day.

And because he was the man of the house, right?

And he had to take care and protect his family even if he didn't do it with his own life.

But maintaining that title wasn't easy, especially having a rebellious teenager as a brother and having to take care of all the bills that ran through his house.

If only his brother could make things easier for him. If only his brother would listen to him once in his life... because if there was one person who didn't listen to Jaehyun, if there was one person he found difficult to intimidate, it wouldn't be anyone other than Jeno.

And amidst all his complications, there would be no greater one than trying to make a teenager listen to him.

The streets of Neo Zone are not safe at any time of the day, but of course, they would be even more dangerous when the sun set. Jaehyun, as much as he wanted, would never understand why fate gave them that life, if only... if only they had been more fortunate and even just grown up in Kosmo*, his life would be so different.

Jaehyun hated walking the streets of Neo Zone, especially if it wasn't for business, but there he was, walking through the dark alleys that were barely illuminated by the reflection of the moon that had recently filled. His steps were short but firm, as his personality used to be. His leather jacket covered him well from the cold breeze he could feel in his bones, and the rings on his fingers helped him stay focused as he ran his thumb over them. In the distance, within an alley, he could see a pair of cigarette tails being lit as smoke emanated from the mouth of the person consuming it. Jaehyun took a deep breath as he disapproved and approached the group of boys more and more.

Immediately he could recognize him, that blue hair couldn't go unnoticed even if he wanted, what a bad choice his brother had made.

Once he found himself at the entrance of the alley, he grabbed a stick from what once seemed to be a baseball bat and, taking advantage of the distraction of those boys, he made it hit against the garbage container next to him, causing the boys to jump in fright and change their gaze towards him.

Meanwhile Jeno maintained eye contact.

"Let's go," Jaehyun snapped without hesitation.

Jeno's friends and his own brother ignored him and continued with their business, Jeno taking a drag of his joint and exhaling the smoke from his lungs with a cynical side smile. His friends let out a laugh that made Jaehyun's blood boil, and he hit the garbage container again - "I said let's go, Jeno."

His brother huffed as he rolled his eyes: "Go bother someone else, Jaehyun."

The boy clenched his jaw and, dropping the stick from his hands forcefully, he then approached the group of boys and seeing the determination with which Jaehyun walked, the boys stepped back a few centimeters, Jeno stood up and held his gaze firmly on his brother's.

When Jaehyun reached him, he snatched the joint from his lips and threw it to the ground to then step on it. He raised his gaze again and looked at the boys, who were behind his brother with a bit of panic in their eyes.

"What are you looking at? Get out of here if you don't want me to wipe that scared puppy look off your faces and give you real reasons to be scared," he snapped brusquely. The boys simply shrank in their place, not moving an inch - "Haven't you heard me? Get lost!"

This time, the group of young vandals hurriedly left the alley, leaving both boys facing each other, staring directly into each other's eyes and without saying a single word. Only annoyance could be felt emanating from each of their bodies.

"What the hell are you doing, Jaehyun? Can't you go bother somewhere else?" asked Jeno, exasperated.

"You didn't go to the school," his older brother replied with no expression on his face.

Jeno let out an incredulous laugh and shook his head amusedly - "Is that why you're here? To make a scene because I didn't go to the school?"

"I put all my damn effort so you can attend that school, and the least you can do is not skip," he said while pointing a finger at his chest and pushing him forcefully - "And what do you do all damn day, huh? This?" - he pointed at the joint that was now shattered under his foot - "Hanging out with those boys and wasting your life like this?"

"You're no better," Jeno retorted.

Jeno had had his initiation into the gang not long ago. Two years ago, when he turned fourteen, and since then, Jaehyun had managed and had done everything possible to keep his boss from involving him in any business, and to be able to maintain that, his workload had increased, since now he had to do what Jeno would have to do, because definitely being a dealer with no future was not something Jaehyun wanted for his brother. He knew Jeno was smart. He knew Jeno had the potential to be someone in life.

To have a future away from Neo Zone.

Not like him.

And the last thing he wanted was to see his brother being an addict in the alleys of Neo Zone.

"I just care about you," Jaehyun said quietly.

Jeno looked at him with his eyes reddened by the substance he had just ingested and clenched his jaw after hearing that.

"You care about me? You do the same fucking thing every day. And let me tell you that you're not just an addict, you're a damn dealer. Congratulations, you bring money to the table! But at what cost? You talk about caring? You ruin other people's lives," Jeno spat as he lightly pushed him.

Jaehyun wished he could say that those words didn't hurt him, but it was impossible. After all, they came from the mouth of his little brother, who was one of the lights of his life.

"Jeno, we're not going to argue about this," Jaehyun said as he felt his rings and ran his thumb over them "but this is not what I want for you, you have more future than those boys you hang out with, Jeno. You have more future than me. It's just that you don't want to see it... this... this is not what I want for you. I don't want you to spend the rest of your life on these damn streets looking for pleasure in some damn drugs and I don't want to see you overdose. For now, it's weed, but if you don't know how to control yourself and don't know how to handle it, it won't be just that. You're not a child, Jeno, and you should know that your actions have consequences."

"Why do you talk as if you were a saint, Jaehyun!?"

"Because I damn know what I'm talking about !" the older one exclaimed, about to explode and giving him a stern look - "Jeno, you need to understand that this is not what I want for you."

"If this is not what you want for me, why don't you do something better than getting into my damn life? Why don't you start with yourself, huh? How do you expect this not to be part of me if you have mom and me in this shitty place?"

"I'm trying, Jeno... I..."

"Trying? How? By selling more kilos every day? That doesn't help at all, Jaehyun! Why don't you do something else? Why didn't you get us out of here when you could?" he questioned as he approached him again until they were face to face. Both with a firm gaze, without hesitating and without flinching.

"Oh, I know," Jeno muttered - "you don't do shit because you're afraid of ending up like poor Sicheng, right?" - he blurted out.

And that was the last straw.

By inertia and upon hearing that name, Jaehyun's arm lifted and went to punch his younger brother's cheek, causing the area to immediately turn red and Jeno's face to move to the side. The blue-haired boy brought his hand to his cheek and slowly returned his gaze to his brother, finding a bit of regret in his eyes.

"Don't ever mention Winwin like that again," Jaehyun requested without moving.

"Fuck you."

Jeno lightly pushed Jaehyun and walked briskly out of the alley they were in.

And then Jaehyun found himself alone with regret running through his body.

If only things were simpler.

_____________________________________________

"Did you go to Neo Zone!?" Jungwoo's exclamation made (Y/N) jump in her place and quickly approach him to cover his mouth with her own hands while giving him a stern look.

"Shut up, Woo, my mother can hear you!" she retorted almost in a whisper but agitatedly. Then she removed her hand from the boy's mouth and sat down next to him on the bed.

"Are you crazy? What were you doing there on a Friday night?" he asked, accusing her. They remained silent for a few seconds, then Jungwoo jumped on the bed and looked at her in surprise.

"Who are you fucking and why didn't you tell me anything!?”

(Y/N) widened her eyes and quickly shook her head.

"None of that! God, Jungwoo, you're an idiot," she lightly tapped his head with the palm of her hand.

"I'm not seeing anyone."

The boy rubbed his head with a small pout and then looked at her curiously.

"So?"

"It was for Daeho," the girl declared.

Jungwoo rolled his eyes dramatically and stood up from the bed to stand right in front of her, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Now, what trouble did that idiot get himself into?"

With a heavy sigh, the girl looked at her hands and slightly shrunk in her place. "A big one, Jungwoo. You should have seen how he came home on Friday."

"What happened?"

"Well, what do you think happened? The idiot bought drugs and didn't pay on time. And to make matters worse, he decided to buy them from Jaehyun and made him go to Neo Zone. Apparently, his boss got angry about the debt, and believe me, he was very angry."

"And what have they done to Daeho?" he questioned her again, this time with concern in his voice.

"They beat him up, Jungwoo. He's covered in bruises and they've split his lip and eyebrow," she explained frustratedly.

"Was it Jaehyun?"

"Huh?"

"Did Jaehyun beat him up?"

"No. No, Jaehyun was with me when that happened," she commented while sighing. "But I don't know what to do, Jungwoo. I'm really worried about Daeho. I'm afraid something like that might happen again and it'll end up worse."

Jungwoo looked at her in silence for a few seconds and then sat back down beside her, taking her hands in his and giving her a slight squeeze as a show of support.

"(Y/N), I know it's not my business and you're worried about your cousin, but Daeho is not a child anymore. You can't go through life trying to fix his mistakes. He knows what he's doing, and he should know the consequences behind it," he explained gently. She took a deep breath and cleared her throat, trying to dispel the knot that threatened to form.

"I know, Jungwoo, it's just that..." she paused to take a breath, "I'm all Daeho has. I'm the only person who genuinely cares about him. The least I can do is be there for him," she bit her lip.

"And there's nothing wrong with that, really. But you can't always be by his side, hoping he won't get into trouble. Daeho needs help, yes, but he needs it from a professional before his drug problem becomes a serious one," Jungwoo affirmed, letting go of her hands and putting his arm around her shoulders to give her a slight hug.

"Do you think I haven't mentioned that to him? He doesn't want to listen."

"There's not much you can do on your own, (Y/N)."

It was then that the girl preferred not to say anything and just accept the hug her friend was giving her; because she knew that as soon as she mentioned that she had made a deal with Jung Jaehyun so that he wouldn't sell anything to his cousin again, Jungwoo would surely go crazy.

So now she not only had to hide this from Daeho but also from her best friend.

It couldn't be that difficult, right?

___________________________________________

If there was another place Jaehyun hated besides Neo Zone, it would be the principal's office. He wouldn't have enough fingers and toes to count the number of times he found himself in that same position, sitting in a leather chair, with Principal Kim in front of him giving him a disapproving look.

"I can't do much this time, Jaehyun" the principal spoke and removed his glasses from his face to pinch the bridge of his nose with his fingers, "if you don't improve your grades, I'll have to expel you. I don't have any other excuse not to do it."

"But you have to do something" Jaehyun retorted, raising one of his eyebrows and crossing his arms, causing the principal to clear his throat and rest his glasses on his desk.

"Jaehyun, I can't keep covering up everything you do and don't improve even a little. The teachers don't want you here anymore, and if you don't raise your average, there's nothing I can do.

The boy sighed heavily and bit his lower lip. Then, the image of a Hwang came to his mind, and he smiled slightly.

"Don't worry, Principal Kim. For the next evaluations, you'll see my average clean," he explained with a smile.

"I'd like to know how will you do that?" the principal asked, incredulous.

"Studying, Principal Kim. How else would I do it?"

The principal chuckled and shook his head.

"You're warned, Jung. Now, leave my office and go study."

Without saying anything else, the boy got up from his seat and calmly left the principal's office, crossing the hallway until he reached the courtyard of his high school. He looked around, getting a couple of glances from some of his classmates, who surely weren't used to seeing him leave that office once again and as soon as his eyes located a person,

Jaehyun smiled.

He put his hands in the pockets of his jacket and walked towards the silhouette sitting under a tree, with at least five books around her and taking notes from each of them, and in which she must have been very concentrated not to feel the presence of the boy a few steps away from her. Hwang let out a heavy sigh and then cursed under her breath, dropping one of her books to the ground abruptly.

"Having a hard time, angel?" he teased while leaning against the tree behind her.

The girl quickly lifted her gaze to then look at him with annoyance and closed one of her books abruptly.

"Don't bother me Jaehyun. I have no interest in having a small talk with you right now," she said, rolling her eyes. "How do you expect me to finish all your assignments and mine before the week ends?" she asked, frustrated.

"Speaking of that, I expect a good grade on those assignments. The principal has already talked to me about kicking me out if I don't meet the average this evaluation," he said, shrugging.

"If only you bothered to study from time to time, you wouldn't have these problems," she retorted reading her notes.

"Why would I do that when I have you, sweet cheeks? Business are business, besides, I've been keeping my word" he said proudly. "How long has Daeho been clean?"

(Y/N) fell silent, thinking of a response, and answered, "almost two weeks, I believe so."

"Do you think it'll last much longer?' he asked again, and she shrugged.

"I hope so, he promised," she muttered without looking him in the eye. Jaehyun sighed and moved to sit next to her, an action that confused the girl, but she didn't comment, she simply let herself go.

A consumer's promises were the worst, and they both knew it. Despite the fact that Daeho didn't consider himself merely an addict... he was. In recent weeks, he was more often in a state of euphoria than sober, and the fact that his parents had been away for over a month was a perfect excuse to do so. Hwang feared for him and feared a lot. What Daeho saw as something harmless kept her in constant unease, because she knew that Daeho wouldn't stay clean for much longer, and there wouldn't be anything else she could do.

"At least you're the only dealer he trusts to buy from," she scoffed, shaking her head.

Jaehyun laughed softly. "You know that as soon as he feels the need, he won't only come to me. Abstinence tends to be difficult for a consumer."

"I know.'

"And what will you do? Offer more money?'

"I don't know, Jaehyun," she replied with a tired tone. "I don't know what to do with Daeho, I don't want him to end being a mess."

To the eyes of an outsider, that scenario could seem a bit funny; Hwang (Y/N) and Jung Jaehyun in the same place without wanting to pull each other's hair out, but if there was something that had caused that conversation in Neo Zone two weeks ago, it was that Jaehyun had managed to empathize at least a little with the girl. At the end of the day, all they both wanted was the best for their families.

They weren't so different in that sense, however, they didn't share anything else. They were simply acquaintances with a common purpose and nothing more.

"The evaluations are coming up, you know what that means?' he asked suddenly.

"What? do I have to do twice your assignments?" she replied with another question, and Jaehyun shook his head with a half-smile.

"Johnny's parties are also coming up, and it's something you should keep Daeho away from. You know his parties are not the healthiest and most innocent thing out there."

Johnny Suh was well known in high school for two reasons; first, because he was the son of one of the best real estate sellers in the city, making him one of the wealthiest kids in high school, and second, because of the study groups he organized near each midterms on one of his properties.

The study group that was nothing more than a facade for the big parties they really have. Every two months, students eagerly awaited that party because with Johnny Suh organizing them, how could not be the best? When it came to those parties, Johnny spared no expense, he would take one of his parents' properties, buy tons of alcohol, invite the dealers from Neo Zone, and didn't care if you were from the south or north, you were welcomed all the same because according to his own words: the more people attended, the better the fun.

And yes, it was something (Y/N) should be worried about, because Daeho could never miss one of those parties. Johnny Suh was within his circle of friends, so he wouldn't dare to let down one of his great friends, how could he?

"Cat got your tongue?" Jaehyun's voice caught her attention and she turned to look at him while exhaling deeply.

"No, Jaehyun, and I'm not in the mood for this."

"Oh, relax, angel" he spoke, raising his hands in defense "I was just mentioning Johnny's party, you know Daeho wouldn't miss it" Jaehyun continued trying to rile her up.

"Great timing for my uncles to return" she muttered, angrily gathering her things and putting them in her bag. She stood up abruptly and Jaehyun followed her.

"Hey, calm down, what's wrong?"

"Daeho's parents are coming back during midterms week and they'll surely having him running around here and there, enough reason for him to go to that damn party" she spat, starting to walk away from him with Jaehyun behind her "and as soon as Daeho stops being clean, I'll break our deal" she threatened, turning around to face him.

"You can't do it if I haven't done anything, you made the deal, you keep it" he said defensively. It wasn't the time for him to risk it and not deliver those high grades to Principal Kim.

"Yes, I can and I will, Jaehyun."

"We made a deal, you can't back down now. I'm already losing money because I'm not selling anything to Daeho".

"I can still write you a check down" (Y/N) said.

"I think I made myself clear when I told you that I didn't want your money".

Ding.

Before the boy could reproach and start an argument with (Y/N), his phone rang in his jacket and he took it out of his pocket to turn on the screen and read the text his friend had left him.

“Yukhei:

come to the garage, something happened.

10:30 am

Don't ask, just come.

10:30 am

I don't even know what happened

but they're furious.

10:31 am”

Jaehyun looked up at the sky, cursing under his breath and closing his eyes. He returned his gaze to the girl, who was now looking at him with confusion, and pointed at her with his index finger.

"I expect my assignments by the end of the week" he commented, turning around to walk away from the place and leaving a frustrated (Y/N) behind.

"Hey! Jung Jaehyun!" she called out loudly "You can't just leave me like this! Hey!”.

_____________________________________________

When he reached the garages, Jaehyun got out of his car, slamming the door shut, immediately drawing Lucas's attention. Lucas was sitting there smoking a joint, one leg propped against the wall and one hand in his pants pocket. Jaehyun approached his friend and took the cigarette from his lips, then took a drag himself.

"What the hell happened now?" he asked, exhaling smoke from his lungs and raising an eyebrow at Lucas. His friend sighed and straightened up.

"Jeno".

With the joint between his lips, Jaehyun's eyes widened, he tossed it to the ground, stomping on it, and quickly took a step forward, only to be stopped by his friend, who placed a hand on his chest. He looked at Lucas, not understanding and showing no expression, then listened to him speak.

"Before you go in there and cause a scene. I don't know what happened. Cheol Uk wouldn't tell me shit, he barely said something had happened with Jeno and they're waiting for you inside" the dark haired guy explained, lightly tapping his friend's chest.

Jaehyun's chest swelled after the deep drag he took. He closed his eyes for a moment and brought his fingers to the bridge of his nose, squeezing it slightly.

"Do you know if he's okay?" he asked, opening his eyes and met with a grimace on Lucas's face.

"Honestly, I don't know".

One of the garage doors opened, causing both boys to turn their heads towards it and seeing Cheol Uk coming out of it, nodding towards Jaehyun to enter, so the guy began walking towards there with Lucas behind him, who was immediately stopped by the guard who put his hand on the boy's chest: "I've been told that only Jaehyun can enter."

Jaehyun turned his head to give Lucas an affirmative look, who breathed deeply and stayed in his place. Jaehyun walked through the garage door, which closed seconds later, and headed towards where his boss was supposed to be.

His head was spinning, and only his brother's name ran through it. What the hell had he done this time?

He didn't even know if he was okay or where he could be, and that was eating him up anxiously.

Despite everything that could come out of Jeno's mouth and his rebellious behavior, as an older brother, Jaehyun worried a lot. Jeno was an important part of his life, and as soon as something happened to him, he wouldn't know what to do. He began playing with the ring on his hand as he continued his way, managing to hear a couple of shouts that he knew well, came from his boss; he clenched his jaw, he was right behind Lee Sooman's back, who, feeling a presence, turned halfway, face to face with the boy.

He approached dangerously. Jaehyun held his breath and suddenly, a burning sensation ran through his cheek, feeling his boss's palm hit him. Jaehyun didn't flinch, didn't complain, and simply did nothing.

He knew it was better that way..

He stayed in his place, straightened his posture, and continued to look ahead, but without making eye contact with Lee Sooman.

"Do you know what your brother's little joke has cost us?" the man asked with annoyance.

"No sir".

"A lot. Your brother is an idiot, he couldn't do something as simple as what I sent him to".

Jaehyun's body tensed, and this time, he made eye contact with his boss.

"What... do you mean you sent him to do something" unintentionally, the tone of his own voice rose, catching his boss's attention "I thought we had a deal, boss."

"Are you talking to me about deals, Jaehyun? Look, the kid came to me asking for a job, and I really admire your whole facade of wanting to feel like the responsible older brother who doesn't want anything to happen to his brother and blah, blah, blah" his boss spoke mockingly "but the boy isn't five years old, Jaehyun. It's time for him to be a grown-up, isn't it? Turn him into one, just like I did with you, right? Look at the man you are, boy".

He felt the falseness in his words, and the sound of his laughter irritated his ears, but again, he said nothing, he knew he shouldn't, and simply stayed in his place to continue listening to him.

"But Jeno and his idiot friends go and screw it up, and now it cost me money and a possible fight. Aish, they can't do anything right if you don't teach them" he muttered the latter.

The boy's brow furrowed and followed his boss's silhouette as he walked to his desk.

"A fight?"

"Yes, I sent them to leave some stuff at the train station, and they ran into Yellow Wood's guys, they stabbed one of the boys. Ah! Park will surely want to do the same" Lee Sooman sighed as he brought his hands to cover his face "and if that's not enough, the Yellow Wood guys stole the stuff, and believe me, they weren't just a few wones worth in drugs. There were a lot.

"Sir..."

"Don't try to cover for your brother, Jaehyun. He made a mistake, a big one, and now, who will pay for it? I'm sure Jeno won't."

"Excuse my brother, sir. I... will talk to him, for sure..."

"A talk won't solve my problem. I need my money, or what? Where do you expect me to get paid from? How do I pay my guys for their work? If there's no drugs, there's no money, and you know it, Jung."

"Sir, please let me do something. I... don't have the money right now. I'm paying for his medicine and..."

"Oh, Jaehyun, don't give me the same old story. Those damn medicines don't matter to me. I've helped you enough with that boy, and I know the whole story inside out and upside down."

Jaehyun's fist clenched at his sides, and he closed his

eyes for a moment, avoiding exploding right there.

"I'm sorry, sir. What do you want me to do?"

"You'll take double of the stuff on Friday when you pick it up. You'll have the weekend to sell it and deliver it to me by Monday, and let's see if you can teach that idiot brother of yours how to handle the business properly once and for all."

The boy's eyes widened, double of the stuff in one weekend? He had been struggling to make ends meet with his normal portion, and now he had to sell double in three damn days. If Jeno was okay right now, he surely wouldn't be after the scolding Jaehyun was going to give him.

"But sir, the business has been slow these days, and..."

"I don't care, Jaehyun. I don't give two shit about how you get that money, but I want all my stuff sold by next Monday, understood? If you don't deliver the money, there will be repercussions, and no, they won't be on you, Jaehyun. It's been Jeno with all this bullshit."

Without saying anything, he nodded. He supposed he would have to ask Johnny for a favor at his party; it was the only place he thought he could sell at least half of what he owed. As for the other half... he would figure out what to do with it later.

He watched as his boss pointed to the door with his hand, and Jaehyun obediently turned around to leave the place. The blood was rushing through his body, and he clenched his fists tighter and tighter as he moved.

His brother was such an idiot.

Not only had they lost the stuff, but they had also stabbed one of the Yellow Wood boys, and he knew they would come back looking to do the same. What guaranteed him that one of these days his brother wouldn't come back with a wound like that? He let out a sigh as he opened the garage door. He saw Lucas quickly approaching him, but he didn't pay the slightest attention to him because he was too busy storming towards his car with fury in his eyes.

His friend tried to stop him, but he couldn't, so he simply followed him. Both got into the car. Lucas heard the slam Jaehyun had given. He started the car without answering the questions the guy in the passenger seat was asking and drove off at speed towards his house. Lucas kept calling him, but it was in vain because Jaehyun could only think about how bad the conversation he had to have with his brother would go. The older boy's knuckles could be seen white from gripping the steering wheel, and he could hear him cursing every now and then. Lucas gave up and sighed as he leaned back in his seat; it was pointless to try to talk to Jaehyun when he was behaving like that, so he simply wouldn't bother anymore.

A few moments later, they were in front of the boy's house, where the older one quickly got out of the car, and Lucas continued his steps behind him.

"Jaehyun! What the fuck happened!?" Lucas shouted at his back, and again, he didn't receive an answer.

He aggressively entered the house, slightly alarming his mother, who was in the kitchen and, seeing the way her son had entered, left things and approached him.

"Where's Jeno?" he asked without preamble.

"What happened?" she asked, concerned.

"Where's Jeno?" he repeated, clenching his jaw.

"In his room" she didn't even finish speaking when Jaehyun was already walking towards the door, she turned worriedly to see the boy beside her and spoke: "Yukhei, what happened?"

Jaehyun opened the bedroom door with a bang and found Jeno sitting on his bed, with a bruise under his eye and his lip slightly open. The older brother exhaled deeply and approached his brother, who was already standing up and naturally, defensive.

"What the fuck do you think you did, Jeno? Huh?

"Stay out of my damn life, Jaehyun. I'm sick of it" Jeno spat as he walked towards him.

"Oh, are you sick of it?" Jaehyun asked "Wow, the little boy is tired of me only wanting what’s best for him" he said, feigning a pout "Do you know the stupid thing you and your friends did?" he questioned again as Jeno pushed him slightly with his shoulder and walked out of the room. Arriving in the living room, where Lucas was trying to distract their mother —"Not only did you lose the drugs, Jeno. You stabbed someone from Yellow Wood, do you think that's something funny to do?"

"What? Drugs?" Mrs. Jung asked confused.

"Shut up, Jaehyun" the younger one spoke through his teeth.

The boy looked at his mom and then at his friend, scoffed, and denied as he once again approached his brother: "Jeno went to Sooman to ask for a job" he confessed as his mother exclaimed in surprise "and now I have to answer for the stupid things your son did".

"Stop treating me like a damn kid!" Jeno exclaimed as he pushed him slightly, managing to anger the older one a little more.

"You want me to stop? Huh?"

"Jaehyun, Jeno. Enough" their mom intervened from her place, causing Jaehyun to turn to look at her and shake his head.

"No, Mom. Jeno doesn't want to be treated like a kid anymore? Fine. Does he want to ruin his life? Fine. If the boy is old enough to make decisions for himself and get into things he has no fucking idea about; let him. I don't give a shit anymore. I already have enough responsibility for this house as it is for him to come and add more".

Silence fell in the living room, with Jaehyun and Jeno staring directly at each other. With their mother leaning on Lucas, who was supporting her, and Jaehyun could only catch between his ears, the boys' accelerated breaths in front of them.

"You have no idea what you're getting into, Jeno. Do you think it's easy to go out there with that stuff and sell it like chocolates? What are you going to do when you don't meet the quota? Huh? Will you take responsibility and face the consequences? Ah, right. You're not a child anymore, and you don't need me. So if something happens... Don't you dare come running to me, because if you have the balls to get into this shit. You'll have the balls to solve your problems. Once you enter in this shitty hole, there's no way out" he ended slowly as Jeno widened his nostrils. He turned around and left the house with a bang, making his mother jump in her place, and with tears shining in her eyes, she moved away from Lucas to approach her older son.

"Jaehyun... "she murmured as her son enveloped her in his arms and hid his head in her chest "he's still my baby" she sobbed.

Jaehyun looked at his friend, who only gave him a sad smile and lightly patted his back, silently demonstrating the support he would always provide.

"I know, Mom. Jeno will be okay" he replied in a whisper as he stroked her hair and planted a kiss on the top of her head "I promise you that someday I'll get you out of here, even if I have to stay behind"

His mother raised her head to look into her son's eyes, and a tear rolled down her cheek: "Jaehyun, I can't take this anymore. You're my children, I don't want to see you both ruined, I can't" the boy choked up and once again caressed her hair.

"I'll get you out of here, someday I'll be able to do it, including him. I'll get all four of us out of here, I promise you".

His mom nodded with another tear running down her face and pressed her lips slightly. Jaehyun moved away from her and moved towards Lucas, to nod his head indicating that he should accompany him out of the house. Both boys walked in silence towards the door, where they were stopped after hearing the words that came out of Mrs. Jung's mouth.

"Don't end up like your father, Jaehyun."

The weight those words carried was something the boy couldn't believe.

Because that was something he wasn't sure he could promise.

______________________________________________

Once her uncles set foot in the city, it would be total chaos. It was something that (Y/N) knew, something she was aware of, which was why she simply hated the thought of it happening for two simple reasons: first, because then she would have to be even more attentive to her cousin and his possible impending collapse due to the pressure his parents put on him as soon as they arrived in the city.

And second, because their arrival meant a family dinner at her house; which had no other result than to talk once again about the future that awaited both of them and the vast comparisons their mothers loved to make between them, creating an endless discord: to see which family had more than the other, or to allude to who had a better present and future than the other.

At her ripe eighteen years, (T/N) never managed to understand the dynamics of her family. Were all families like hers? She didn't understand why her father and uncle had this constant competition between them; as brothers, it was the last thing they should have. Did money eventually turn you into such a person? Was it something that Daeho and she would become when they were responsible for the companies? She couldn't wrap her head around that scenario, the last thing she would want is for there to be some kind of conflict between them when they both needed each other, both had each other's backs, and both were the support for each other.

What a great family environment existed in that residence.

And if she could add a third reason: it was that she hated having to behave like the perfect daughter everyone expected her to be.

Coincidentally and to her own misfortune, the dinner at her parents' house was on the same night as Johnny Suh's party.

One more concern to her list.

With the faint reflections of the moon on her room and the gentle breeze coming through her large window, she gave one last careful look in her mirror, observing her figure wrapped in a black dress that ended just above her knee, a white and fluffy sweater that covered her from the coolness of the night, and her platform boots that complemented the style of the rest of her outfit.

She sighed... approached her dresser, picking up the first pair of earrings she saw to put them on her ears and let out another sigh. She never understood the formality of dinners at home, in the end, it was just her parents, her two uncles, Daeho, and herself who would end up sitting at the long dining table, but what she did know was that if she dared to come down with any outfit that didn't please her mother enough... she would instantly make her go back to change her clothes to something more suitable for her... or for them rather. Because according to her mother; you never know who the next person you might meet is.

Yes, even in her own home.

Where there wouldn't be more than six people.

She had tried multiple times to get in touch with Daeho since early in the morning, as soon as she had found out that her uncles' flight had arrived, however, he didn't answer her calls or text messages; which was enough to make (Y/N) nervously bite her nails. Something that had her tired, she was tired of living like this, worrying about everyone but herself, but if she didn't worry about her cousin the way she did, who would?

She was well aware that Daeho was not a child of five years to be in charge of, but sometimes she felt like he was. With the little attention he received from his parents and all the attachment and emotional dependence he had developed towards his cousin, (Y/N) had no choice but to fulfill that role, but... how much more would it consume of her?

She was grateful to have Kim Jungwoo in her life; the only sincere friend who had crossed her path. False friendships that could arise around her were no surprise to the girl: status was everything. If you wanted people to see you well, recognize you for something, and not sideline you, you had to hang out with people of your same level. (Y/N) tried to remember all those times she tried to create friendships, but ones that were sincere, each of those times ended in a failed attempt when she realized that people didn't really care about her but the great dollar sign that pursued her as if it were an ornament.

What a fake life.

That's why the affection she had for Jungwoo was immense. The only person who gave herself the opportunity to get to know her without judging her, the only person with whom she didn't have to maintain a whole facade.

She hated pretending; everyone thought she was perfect, that her life was perfect, the presentation she always carried was perfect, they even thought her family was perfect; she had spent the last few years of her life trying to keep up appearances, continuing with the facade that her parents and uncles had created and if Daeho screwed up, it all fell on her, because she was the one who had to fix it, because she was the one who had to assure everyone that everything was fine in her family... because if she let her guard down and showed her reality; the dream world that the Hwang family had invested so much in pretending would come crashing down like a freshly kicked sandcastle.

And so, seconds turned into minutes and minutes into hours and when she least expected it, she found herself uncomfortably seated between her mother and Daeho, with a plate of food that, for the moment, didn't look appetizing at all and with her leg bouncing slightly from the anxiety emanating from feeling the tense atmosphere she was wrapped in.

Her mind was elsewhere. The last thing her ears had captured was the conversation her uncle had created about his recent trip to New York, where he had signed a couple of agreements and where... she couldn't remember anything else.

It reminded her a lot of her childhood, where they would both sit for hours beside their parents listening to them talk about business, money, agreements, and a thousand things that at her age they wouldn't understand but that according to their parents, getting involved from an early age in the world they lived in would help them shape their future.

In a way, she felt like her childhood had been stolen. Instead of being able to go out to the huge yard of her house to play like any normal child, she had to stay inside to attend one of her mother's arranged classes for her. Instead of listening to a story that her father had to tell her before going to sleep, she found herself with the stories he told her about "how he became the successful businessman he was and how she had to do the same" or the times when they always wanted to include her in the adult world when she was barely in elementary school.

But she never complained... at least she had a family and a roof over her head, she convinced herself of the luck she had of being born into the family she had... a total privilege.

When she lifted her eyes from the fixed point they had been pinned to, she could notice out of the corner of her eye how Daeho simply limited himself to eating in silence, nodding from time to time and feigning a smile here and there, moving his cutlery slightly and taking small bites of his food.

At least she wasn't the only anxious person at the table.

Her gaze lifted when her name came out of her mother's mouth, who was watching her expectantly with a smirk: “Isn't that right, sweetheart?” her mother inquired.

“Hmm, excuse me?” she questioned with a small voice as the adults' gazes were fixed on her.

“Oh, sweetheart, it's disrespectful not to pay attention to the matters discussed at the table” her mother gave her a fake smile that simply made the girl change her gaze to her hands resting on her lap and tilt her head in apology, causing her mother to let out a snort that was only heard by her “Your uncles and we have been talking about the fact that Daeho and you are about to graduate, we believe it's time to start looking at which universities you'll get into” her mother explained, staring at her intently “although, personally, your father and I have had this whole life plan we created for you since you were seven, remember we talked about studying abroad?

“Oh! We also want our Dae to study abroad! We had thought about Oxford! Isn't that right, honey?”Daeho's mother spoke with enthusiasm addressing her husband, who only smiled as he nodded.

(Y/N) and Daeho shared glances for a couple of seconds, precipitating what was to come, and smiled sadly at each other.

“Umh, mom? I don't think this is something we should discuss right now... there's still a little time before we graduate. I don't think it's a... necessary topic right now...”

The girl was interrupted by a gasp from her mother, who looked slightly offended and placed a hand on her chest, shaking her head from side to side.

“You say there's still time? (Y/N), you graduate in a year, do you think that's little time? We should start looking at universities, especially if we want to send you abroad.”

Taking a breath in surprise, she spoke: “Mom, abroad?” the girl let out a sigh “I don't think it's necessary, I mean... Seoul has incredible universities and curriculums, it's not necessary to go far from home...”

“Seoul?” her mother asked incredulously “Do you think I, your mother, will send you to some mediocre university in Seoul? You must be crazy if you think you'll end up at any of those universities” she continued with contempt “You, miss, will get into an Ivy League university, like your father and uncle did and there’s no other way.”

The table fell into a small silence, where only the looks of Mrs. Hwang and (Y/N) were shared intensely, when slightly the voice of Daeho's mother was heard:

“Well, we also have to see if she's capable of passing the exams first, don't we?” she said quietly before delicately wiping her lips with the cloth napkin on her lap.

The gaze of (Y/N)'s mother abruptly changed to the other woman, who only smiled sideways in a mocking tone and feeling her cousin's body tense beside her, the girl's anxiety shot up a thousand miles per hour anticipating what was to come.

“What did you just say?”

“I think you heard me right, sweetheart. We must see if my niece really has the ability to pass exams as important as those of the Ivy League, because believe me, dear” she changed her view to the girl “it's not just going, sitting down, and looking pretty as you've done all these years.

It felt like a punch… right into her face.

Was it really like that? Did her appearance speak more than the effort she had put into her work for so long?

Was that how they really perceived her?

She knew she had much more to offer... why were they reducing her to just that? She was dedicated, she was responsible... wasn't all her effort worth it?

Wasn't it enough?

“I think you're the least qualified person to talk about children, Eunji” (Y/N)'s mother attacked “Daeho is no delicate flower, the disaster he is when you don't pay attention to him...”

The eyes of the mentioned boy widened and immediately (Y/N) dropped her hands on her table and got up from her seat.

“Mom! Stop this” the girl exclaimed.

“Do you think I'm going to let this woman come to my house to talk about you and my family like that, when we welcomed her with open arms?” her mother reproached, standing in front of her.

“You don't have any right to talk about mine either” now Eunji joined the conversation.

“Oh, come on, Eunji, stop being so blind and realize the kind of son you have.”

Daeho didn't need to be there anymore, which was why he fleetingly got up from his seat and without saying more, left the house with more haste than his cousin had ever seen. (Y/N) dropped her cloth napkin on the table with noticeable annoyance to try to go after her cousin, it was when her mother took her by the arm, squeezing firmly.

“Don't you dare set foot outside this house.”

She didn't know if it was the anger running through her veins or the tiredness of always wanting to do what her mother thought was right; but she didn't need to think twice when without looking back she went out the large door of her house, taking the keys to her car on the way. Her throat felt weird, she didn't want to waste a single tear. She shouldn't. With her hands slightly trembling and biting her lip, she took her cell phone and pressed a couple of numbers on it, waiting for the other line to answer.

With heavy breaths and sitting in the driver's seat of her car, she listened to the rings her phone produced and when she finally heard a response, she spoke quickly:

“Jungwoo, I'm sorry for calling late, but there’s a party we need to go”.

_____________________________________________

The scenario in which Jung Jaehyun found himself was not unfamiliar to him. His ears had been ringing from a few meters away before he arrived at one of the Suh residences; with Wong Lucas by his side and stepping out of his own car: a BMW M2, a car that he had won from a rich kid in one of his many bets a few months ago, thanks to his luck and his driving skills.

And since then, it had become his favorite car. Luckily, he could occasionally take it to his friend Taeyong's workshop to make some adjustments and add a couple of details to make the car even better.

Entering the mansion, he could see some familiar faces a few meters away from him. Some greeted him warmly as their dealer was just entering, while others tried to avoid him like the plague. Either way, Jaehyun didn't care how they looked at him.

He came with a single purpose in mind.

It was incredible to see how much someone like Johnny Suh could invest in one of his parties: it was crazy to see how he splurged everything for a simple night. However, that was his perfect hook for his businesses, and if he had to give double the money to Sooman by Monday, he had to get started right away.

Without exchanging a single word with Lucas and lightly taking him by the arm, he brought him closer to the wall; from his pocket, he took out a couple of small bags and immediately handed them to his friend, who only nodded, understanding everything and putting what Jaehyun had given him into the pockets of his jacket. They hugged with a quick pat on the back, and again, without saying anything, they separated.

Observing the environment cautiously, Jaehyun went into the luxurious house, trying to blend in with the people there. His ears were still ringing, and the smell of marijuana reached his nose. He inhaled subtly and relaxed his posture when Johnny Suh's figure stood in front of him.

"Jung Jaehyun!" the guy exclaimed, opening his arms. "Welcome to the Suh residence, my favorite dealer. What do you have for me this wonderful night?" he asked curiously while waving his hands.

Jaehyun put his hand in his pocket and carefully showed him the contents he had there, causing Johnny to smile ecstatically.

"Half or an ounce?" Jaehyun asked, putting the small bag back into his jacket.

"An ounce, my friend."

Friend, surely.

"You know how much it is," Jaehyun said as he took out the small bag again and placed it in the guy's hand, receiving a 50,000 won bill in his other hand in return. "Dude, I don't have any change with me," he warned.

"What are you talking about, Jae? Keep the change and enjoy the night. The drinks are by the kitchen, take whatever you want, and if you happen to go up to any of the rooms, don't forget to lock it," he patted his chest with a wink from his eye and left his sight without saying more.

Even with a bit of evident surprise on his face, he tucked the bill into his wallet and continued on his way; it would be a long night, so why not have a little fun while selling all his stuff?

He didn't know at what exact moment his first drink of the night ended, nor did he know at what moment he found himself among a circle of people who had bought at least a quarter of what he needed to sell, nor did he know at what moment his hand ended up on the waist of a girl who was looking at him while batting her eyelashes at him.

He knew better than anyone that it wasn't time to get drunk, especially with the heavy merchandise he was carrying with him, but how good it felt the slight dizziness that passed through his head, the weed made him momentarily forget everything. When he was younger, he had sworn he wouldn't fall into alcohol so easily, but it was a temptation that was hard to resist, and eventually, weed also helped. For a moment, he could be himself and forget everything at home, in his neighborhood, at work.

But how hard it was when all that effect wore off and he became simply Jaehyun again, the number one dealer of Neo Zone.

His eyes momentarily diverted from the girl in front of him, watching as at the back of the room there was a Yellow Wood guy; one of the gang his brother had gotten into trouble with, selling a package similar to the ones he was selling to none other than Hwang Daeho.

He didn't know what had come over him because clearly it wasn't his problem, but slowly he left the small group he was in, hearing behind him how the girl he had spent the whole night with called him while he ignored her, heading towards the two young men.

"Hey, Chris," Jaehyun greeted with a serious expression. "Don't worry, I'll take care of this guy."

"Oh, Jung, don't get involved when I'm finishing a deal," the mentioned one responded as he pocketed the bills Daeho had given me. "Don't think we've forgotten about the little show your brother and his friends put on a couple of months ago on the train tracks."

He clenched his jaw and could feel Daeho tense beside him. "It's not like I'm going to forget that you're dealing and doing business in Neo Zone territory either, go back to your city and sell there," the tattooed guy explained as he dangerously approached him.

"Look, Jung, the last thing I want tonight is a fight, so stop getting in my way," Chris replied as he walked away from the guys.

When they were alone, Jaehyun stood in front of Daeho and stretching out his hand, he spoke: "Give me what he sold you."

It wasn't his problem, so why was he doing this? He hadn't sold him anything, so he hadn't broken any deal.

Was alcohol playing tricks on him, making (Y/N)'s face appear in his mind? Daeho looked at him without understanding what he was asking for, and that was enough for Jaehyun to let out a heavy sigh to repeat: "Give me any crap that idiot sold you."

"Look, Jaehyun, I don't know what's going on, and if this has to do with buying from someone outside your area, I'm sorry, but dude, you haven't wanted to sell me anything in the last few weeks, and I can't go a single damn day without getting something else," Daeho explained, putting the package away in his bag and refusing to comply with what Jaehyun had just asked.

"I don't give a damn that you can't keep your damn body clean, but apparently, your cousin does care, so give me that," he demanded again.

"What does (Y/N) have to do with all this? Are you fucking her or something?" asked the boy in front of him with annoyance, and now that he paid attention, his eyes were slightly bloodshot.

He didn't have time to deal with a junkie right now.

"Go ahead, champ. Go keep putting that crap into your body, I don't want you crossing paths with me all night," Jaehyun requested, touching the bridge of his nose, feeling Daehyuk getting closer to him.

That guy had courage out of nowhere.

And that's what a substance can do for you.

"I remind you that you're no better than me, you consume it and sell it."

Daeho stepped away from him, leaving him alone and causing him to clench his fist. He was tired, tired of remembering every minute of his life how messed up it was. Did he have another option? No, he didn't have any other option, right now, it was either to sell all that heaviness in the pockets of his jacket or risk ending up on Monday with a beaten body and having to hide it from his mother.

The night was still young, and he had to end up with those empty pockets. He just hoped Lucas was doing his part correctly.

____________________________________________

Jungwoo was next to (Y/N); it had been a while since he and his friend went out partying, and although clearly, she wasn't there to have fun, she wanted to make the most of the night.

The girl next to him scanned the room for any sign of her cousin, but there was no trace of him. The familiar faces of her classmates ran through her mind, and she was starting to feel overwhelmed.

"(Y/N), I know you're worried about your cousin and all that," heard her best friend's voice above the music, "but I also know you need to have some fun. Why don't we do that? It's been a while since we've been to a party; we should make the most of it, and then later, you can kick Daeho's ass."

"I don't know, Woo."

"Look, the same pressure Daeho says he feels is the same pressure your parents put on you, and after the scene they made today at dinner? Don't you think you deserve a break?"

Jungwoo approached the table where a couple of drinks were, quickly preparing a paloma for his friend and handing it to her after finishing it.

"Let's enjoy the night, break away from your home, and be yourself. Not the girl your parents expect you to be, not the girl your business expects you to be. Just the teenager you are now, just that." The girl, although not very convinced, nodded and then took a sip of her drink, feeling that Jungwoo had put more alcohol than soda in it. The boy laughed at his friend's reaction and hugged her by the shoulders.

"Alright, let's have fun tonight."

(Y/N) had never been a big fan of alcohol, especially beer. If she occasionally enjoyed a drink, it was usually some kind of elegant wine that her father had in the mini wine cellar at home; some kind of Cabernet Sauvignon or Pinot Grigio... however, tonight, the acidity that ran down her throat every time she took a sip of her commercial beer was a feeling of ecstasy.

She didn't know if it was because Jungwoo's words were really resonating in the back of her head, where she remembered that, right now, what she needed to do was relax and distance herself from her family. Because she deserved it. So she wasn't sure when she lost sight of her best friend during the night, maybe it was sometime around eleven or twelve at night when Jungwoo left her side; nor was she sure when her head started to feel light after the third beer, but she was sure she was starting to lose count.

Normally, it was always Jungwoo and (Y/N), stuck side by side and never separating, which is why, at that moment, it was strange to see the girl around classmates, with whom she rarely engaged in conversation, but she truly didn't care in the state she was in, because she was having a good time, and especially because a nice guy, whom she didn't recognize, was making her laugh like she hadn't in a long time.

Her phone felt heavy in the small bag she was carrying, especially because she was aware of the numerous calls and messages she had been ignoring from her mother since she had arrived at the Suh residence, and although she knew she should answer those calls, she firmly believed that she didn't want to deal with her and her father.

For now, she just wanted to be a girl having fun and forgetting about everything else.

The image of Daeho had been temporarily erased from her mind a while ago, but at some point in her night, the doubt of whether Jung Jaehyun had attended the party had arisen.

Still, she couldn't see him.

Amidst all the numbness her mind was going through, she didn't notice when subtly the guy she had been talking to for an hour moved her away from the group of people they were with. Chris, she remembered his name, had a slight grip on her waist; something she hadn't paid the slightest attention to.

"Why are we moving away?" (Y/N) asked in a sleepy voice, letting herself be guided by the steps the guy took.

"Oh, I just thought it would be good if we moved away a bit to talk more. You know, we can get to know each other a little better," the guy responded, causing the girl to overlook the hint of malice that came out of his mouth.

"But we were fine with the others," she dragged her words as she tried to move away from Chris's grip on her body. "Where's Jungwoo?" she asked when her inner alarm went off.

"He must be around here somewhere, don't worry; we'll look for him later," he replied as he gently brought his lips to the girl's ear and then moved them to her jawline. "Let's have a good time for now."

A light kiss was planted there, and it was then that her senses returned coldly, and all the dizziness she had previously experienced disappeared slightly; putting her hands on the guy's chest to push him away abruptly.

"No, I don't want to look for him later. I want to go with Jungwoo now," the girl demanded after her failed attempt to push him away.

"Calm down, Hwang. You've been practically all over me all night; it's not time to start playing hard to get, is it?"

"What are you talking about, idiot?" she questioned sharply and tried to push him again; she looked into his eyes with anger and could see in them the way they were droopy, slightly bloodshot, and that's when she could gather who this guy was and what he did with his lif “let go of me now or...”

"Or what? Stop pretending to be a fucking innocent; it doesn't suit you," he said as he, again, brought his mouth to the girl's neck.

And surprised by the strength she found in that moment, with a strong push and after struggling, she was able to push him far enough to release a punch that went straight to his jaw.

"You damn bitch," the guy spat, letting go of her and grabbing her face.

"That would be the last time you touch me, and get that if a girl says no, it's because she means no."

"You'll regret it, you fucking bitch."

With her heart pounding in her chest and her mind still accompanied by a slight dizziness, she began to move away from the guy and the dark hallway she was in. It was difficult to walk when her legs felt shaky from the scene she had been involved in; she scolded herself mentally for drinking the amount of alcohol she had drunk, knowing well her low tolerance to it.

She looked for Jungwoo with her eyes, and it was difficult to find him when her vision was blurry. She wanted to get out of there. She wanted to do it now.

What an idiot Chris had been. She hated it when men looked for things that weren't there. She had never hinted that she wanted anything, nor that she wanted to get away from the group. She felt dirty to remember where his hands had been. How his fingerprints felt on her skin and how she wanted to hit him again in his stupid face.

She felt something strange in her chest, she didn't know how to explain it; it was a combination of anger and vulnerability she was experiencing. The slight distress she felt there could be noticed on her face, surrounded by so many people under the effects of who knows what substance, feeling her body reacting slowly and not knowing where the hell Jungwoo had gone.

When she felt a hand on her arm, stopping her steps, she feared it was Chris, who had gone after her. And with her breath caught in her throat, she turned around to find a pair of eyes that took her by surprise.

"Hey, are you okay, Angel?"

She thought it was the first time she was glad to see Jaehyun.

It wasn't weird seeing Jaehyun in Johnny's house, she knew he's use to come to this parties at the end his presence was required if her classmates wanted to have a good time. What it was weird to her a that in the last two weeks he has seen Jaehyun more often that her own cousin, that always seemed to have an excuse to avoid her.

She didn’t know if it was of the dizziness she was feeling or what, but Jung Jaehyun looked good. All dressed up in black leather, with his neck tattoo decorating his body and his pulled hair back. She must be really fucked up if she was thinking in how hot Jaehyun looked.

But that wasn’t the case right now, she needed someone because she couldn’t trust herself in that state.

And right now, among all the people inside the residence and adding that Jungwoo was nowhere to be found, Jaehyun was the only person she could rely on.

Could she really?

She thought there wasn't much difference between Chris and Jaehyun. In the end, they both did the same thing. Sure, in different areas, but their lives revolved around similar things; situations, people, experiences.

"I... I don't know where Jungwoo is," she clumsily said.

In her voice, Jaehyun could notice the slight clumsiness in tone, realizing that the girl had been drinking, approaching her delicately, now he could see the expression of concern on her face.

"And then that idiot of Chris," she continued with a disgusted face, and upon hearing the mention, Jaehyun defensively turned to look at her.

"Has Chris approached you? Was it something about Daeho?" he asked quickly.

(Y/N) nervously bit her lip to avoid the boy's gaze and again put her gaze on the hall where they were.

Where the hell was Jungwoo?

"Shit," the girl blurted out when she realized, "Chris sold something to Daeho, didn't he?" Seeing the expression on the boy's face, she knew the answer. "Damn it, I'm so sick of this," she said as she put her hands on her head. Her breathing quickened, and she felt her hands trembling. "What the hell do I have to do for Daeho to stop this nonsense? I came here to find him, and then Jungwoo thought it would be a good idea to have fun," she spoke quickly, causing Jaehyun to only catch a few words. "I'm sick of my mom and my aunt arguing about which family is better, then Jungwoo disappears, and the stupid of Chris tries something with me”.

"What? Has he done something to you?" Jaehyun asked, surprised.

"What's the point of having this damn deal with you?" she ignored the boy's words and continued, "I know you told me that Daeho would find another dealer as soon as he wanted to use again, but I had hoped he wouldn't. Now I'm overwhelmed with my tasks and yours, that damn report I have to submit in four days, and my mind is stuck. I don't know what else to do to keep everything at one hundred percent, when I'm not even at five percent," she confessed without thinking, and when she realized what she had done, she lowered her gaze. "Sorry, I know you're not someone who cares about this."

She turned around without letting the boy say anything, and after walking a bit, she heard behind her:

"Come on, I'll take you home."

Her brow furrowed, and she turned to face the boy, confused, she asked, "Huh?"

"It seems like you've been drinking a bit too much, and Jungwoo is nowhere to be found, I'll take you home, even if your car is parked around, I don't think it's wise to drive like this."

"What about you?"

"I stopped drinking two hours ago," the boy replied simply, "let's go."

When Jaehyun started walking, (Y/N)'s steps became almost automatic; without thinking about where she was going or with whom, they only followed the silhouette of the boy in front of her without a word.

Perhaps a few seconds later, when she noticed she was in front of Jaehyun's BMW, her mind questioned what she was doing.

She hadn't made wise decisions tonight.

With her hand hesitating on the door handle, debating her actions and whether she should get into the car or not, with her senses heightened knowing it was Jung Jaehyun who, presumably, would take her home, and with the same, already inside the car, waiting for her to react and finally make up her mind; her body trembled.

The music from the residence still echoed in her ears, yet above it, she could hear Jaehyun calling her from inside... and then, without further thought; she got into the car.

The car, to her surprise, looked clean; the scent she could perceive from it was odd... like a combination of marijuana and vanilla, in smoky tones... and now that she thought about it of the few times she managed to be close to Jaehyun, that was the same smell she perceived, and she couldn't help but think it was a pleasant smell. Odd but pleasant.

Jaehyun knew where the Hwang residence was, he had been close once when he had to make some deliveries in that area; that's why he didn't need to ask the girl for any directions, besides he didn't feel like having a chat, especially with someone he doubted was in their right mind.

The first few minutes were silent, she could hear (Y/N)'s soft breathing above the sounds of his own car, and he hoped the rest of the journey would be like that; until she decided to speak: “do you use as well?”

Jaehyun was taken back for the sudden question and the he shook his head. “Sometimes I smoke weed, but that the only thing I use. I don’t like other shit, I might not be the greatest person but I appreciate my body” he said jockingly. It was weird seeing Jaehyun joking with her. “But really, weed is the only thing I like.”

“Doesn’t make you an addict?” she questions again.

“Don’t think so” he answers. “I don’t do it often. Only when I’m really stressed about something, I can control myself” he says and she stayed quiet for a couple of minutes.

“What's next for you?" She asked out of sudden again, making Jaehyun furrow his eyebrows while he kept looking at the road.

"What do you mean?" Jaehyun asked without looking at her.

"It's the last year of school, do you know what's next for you?" (Y/N) asked again this time she stop looking at the window and she put his gaze in him.

Jaehyun scoffed "Do you really want to know?"

Did he really wanted to answer?

This is the longest talk they have ever had.

"I mean... I guess so"

The boy hated thinking about future. And now he hated even more because some preppy girl had to ask about it.

"I don't know" he said. "I don't think about future a lot if I'm honest" he didn't know why he answer though. He could just not say nothing if he wanted to.

"But you should" (Y/N) commented. "College is just around corner and there's a lot of options you should look up".

Jaehyun let out a laughter that left (Y/N) confused. Was he laughing at her? She tilted her head, she didn't know what was so funny.

"College isn't an option for me" he said as he stopped in a red light and then he moved his head so he could look at her. He didn't know why he was telling all of this. "There's no next for me after high school"

"You can't be serious" she mumbled. "There most be and option that can suit you"

"You don't know shit" he said and that alone made (Y/N) move in her sit a little bit uncomfortable.

"No, I might not but if you say that there's no other option for you... then I'm sorry, Jaehyun, I think I have to end the deal with you."

When Jaehyun abruptly stopped the car, he was glad that there was a red light at the traffic signal.

"What?"

"I'm tired of trying to help Daeho when he doesn't want to be helped," she confessed without even looking at him, "and... I think it's time to focus on me. It's too much work. Yours... mine... if I want to keep good grades, my assignments alone are enough, and if you don't have an interest in making something good for you, then I'll stop helping you out as well".

Jaehyun shook his head: "No, but I need your help. I can't fail. I can't be kicked out of school."

"I don't understand, Jaehyun," she said, changing her gaze from the street to the boy's eyes, "I don't understand why all this fuss about not being able to be kicked out of school if it’s because you don't want to ruin your business, not because you genuinely want to be better in your school life. You said it yourself, college isn't an option for you so, if this is only about your work I don't want to be involved or have any influence in something that is not legal".

Jaehyun's hands tensed on the steering wheel.

"You don't need to understand," he said as he moved forward at the green light, "they can't kick me out of school," he repeated firmly.

"Well, I'm sorry, Jaehyun. I made the decision. I appreciate the weeks when you didn't sell anything to Daeho, but even so, he finds a way to consume. It's not your fault. And I finally realized it's not my fault either. I also appreciate you taking me home, but after tonight, you'll go your way and I'll go mine."

"So you're okay with me being kicked out?" He asked with a side smile.

"We're not friends, Jaehyun" she stated. "We were just helping each other out. But if my cousin doesn't want to be helped, I don't need your help neither. I’m sorry if you needed mine but I can’t keep up with this anymore. Being involved with you was dangerous enough and I think it’s for the better"

It hadn't been long since the damn deal had taken place, but inside Jaehyun, he liked having an occasional interaction with the girl, especially if it was to annoy her... he found it funny every time she wrinkled her nose when she was upset with him or the way she tenderly rolled her eyes after he made a silly comment on purpose.

He might got used to her a little.

"I knew you rich kids weren’t faithful to your word" he said. "I guess I can't force you to anything," Jaehyun let out a sigh.

Another fifteen minutes passed in complete silence, with some discomfort on both sides. (Y/N) looking anywhere out of the windows but not putting her gaze on Jaehyun, and the boy was focused on the wheel.

Anyone who saw the scene would laugh to see two people as different as Hwang (Y/N) and Jung Jaehyun in the same car.

She was sure Jungwoo would laugh if he saw them.

Of course, after she kicked him a few times for leaving her.

She didn't notice precisely when they were entering her residence; it wasn't until the car stopped abruptly, and she could see through the window the immense house in front of them.

It was more appealing to stay in that car with the dealer than to deal with her mother.

"I guess it's time for me to go," (T/N) said, grabbing the car handle, "Thank you... Jaehyun... for bringing me, and I'm sorry I can't help you with your work anymore... but I can't do it."

The boy smiled slightly and adjusted his jacket as he shook his head.

"Take care, Angel," Jaehyun said and then said no more.

Jaehyun hadn't been a bad guy to her during the time they had agreed on the deal, however... for her own good; she hoped they wouldn't cross paths again, like it was before the start of the deal.

Jung Jaehyun was a dealer from the Neo Zone, and she had an image to uphold, that's why it was better for each to take their place.

But what was that she felt when she got out of the car and saw Jaehyun leave without even looking at her one last time?

a/n: taglist is open! thank you for reading! wait 4 the next chapter!

there’s a mention of Winwin, what could have happened to him?:0 idk, you might found in the next chapter, who knows?;)) I hope you liking this so far, sorry but I’m more into longer chapter than short ones. Love ya! Oh I’m also posting a Taeyong au later so check it out!

taglist: @gojoscumslut @bluedbliss s @dear-97 @girlwholoveslpreppyattire @hana-off-icial

176 notes · View notes

santaasi · 2 months

Text

SHADOWS

pairing: jj maybank x routledge!fem!reader

summary: when emotions take over and shadows are swallowed up, all you need is to find a person who will become your light (based on shadows by sabrina carpenter)

warnings: angst, a little bit of fluff, use of y/n, english is not my first language

word count: 2.3k

a/n: the action takes place after the finale of the first season of obx

We all got nightmares in our dreams

We look for someone to believe in us

And show us the way

And make it okay

The world can be dangerous

Everyone in Kildare knew who JJ Maybank was. A flighty, self-confident blonde, a girls man, the life of all parties, and the honored prince of pogues. You could always buy the best weed from him at the best price, and repair the car as soon as possible. He appears in the police station more often than at home, and all parents pray only that their child does not fall under his charm. JJ Maybank was a walking problem, but despite that he had a heart of gold.

As a child, his mother told him that life consists of white and black stripes, like a zebra. But for some reason, JJ's own life was like a big and long black tunnel, in which fireflies sometimes appeared, illuminating his life. John B, Kiara and Pope were the only bright spots in his life, the most important people who, no matter what, stayed by his side.

But it was only for John B, that JJ was ready to do anything, because their bond had always been stronger than just friendship. They were brothers who had been going through all the problems together since childhood. John B. was by JJ's side when his mother left the family when he was seven. John B. was there when JJ's drunk father beat him almost to death when he returned home one night. John B. was there to treat his wounds, and allocated a separate room for him in the chateau so that JJ would not have to return home. John B. was the one who always believed in JJ, who knew that despite all the words of the people around Maybank, he would not become like his father.

That's why the loss of John B in the storm two weeks ago was another blow to JJ's gut from a life that proved to him over and over again that JJ Maybank was not made for happiness.

There's something so rare in your veins

Not a single thing I would change

And oh, if you only knew how I see you

Would you come alive again, alive again?

But despite how much JJ Maybank treasured his friendship with John B., he couldn't do anything about his feelings for his friend's younger sister, who, like a little sun, always lit his way in this pitch darkness of his life.

Y/N Routledge has always been her brother's most precious treasure. After their father disappeared, John B. devoted himself to his sister, protecting her from everything, promising that he would always be by her side. And now, seven months after Big John disappeared, John B. wasn't with her either. She was left all alone in this big world, which seemed ready to swallow her completely.

The first week after John B. went missing, JJ heard Y/N crying quietly at night, suppressing her screams, burying her face in the pillow. He could hear the sound of her bare feet on the wooden floor and the slam of the screen door when she woke up at the middle of the night from nightmares and went out on the porch to get some fresh air. Every night, Maybank cursed the thin walls of the chateau and John B. for causing her so much pain by leaving. But no matter how much JJ wanted to help her, he was too deeply drawn into the swamp of his own feelings, from which he could not get out in any way.

Y/N wasn't blind to what was going on with her brother's best friend either. She knew how much shit JJ had to go through in his entire life, how many loved ones he had to lose, and she understood that losing John B was another blow for him. She felt how he blamed himself for what had happened, heard how he wakes up at nights from nightmares, asking John B. and Sarah not to go into the storm, saw how only a pitiful shadow remained of the former JJ and it broke her heart.

The girl always admired the strength of JJ's spirit, despite all the shit that happened in his life, he stayed afloat. He raised his head and walked confidently and straight on. He supported his friends, was ready to do anything for them, even go to prison for a case that he did not commit, as long as his friends, his only family remained unharmed.

And JJ Maybank was always there for her. When her heart was broken for the first time, he was there, holding her tightly to his chest, whispering soothing words in her ear. When she was fighting with John B., JJ was always on her side, listening to her outrage. JJ Maybank went to parties with her, dancing with her until the sunrise, sat with her on rainy evenings at the chateau, watching romcoms that he hated, brought her her favorite sweets when she was sick, taught her surfing and listened to all the gossip from her work during their mini spa days at the chateau with such interest, as if Y/N told him about the beginning of the universe. JJ Maybank was always there for the younger Rotledge and it was just impossible for her not to fall in love with him.

She loved her brother's best friend even when he was a complete mess. When he cried on her shoulder after another fight with Luke. When he got drunk and she had to carry him to the chateau. When he was angry at her for getting into all these dangerous things with all the other pogues.

Y/N Routledge loved JJ Maybank in every shape and condition. And she would never change even the slightest detail about him, because for her, JJ Maybank was perfect for who he is.

Y/N was also hurt by the loss of her brother, and she, like no one else, could understand all of JJ's pain, but unlike him, she had the strength to live and move on. She didn't blame herself for what had happened, realizing that John B. had always been too stubborn to listen to anyone, but JJ… He was devouring himself from the inside out. He dug out the grave himself and buried himself with his head. The darkness that had been accumulating in him for so long was finally winning. And Y/N was scared. She didn't want to lose him either. She couldn't lose him.

I need you to understand

Y/N stood in front of the door to JJ’s room, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other, doubting the correctness of her actions. They haven't spoken since the day John B disappeared, although they've been living under the same roof all this time, but they were functioning on their own.

After hearing another sob from behind the door, the girl finally opened it, going inside.

It was very dark and cold here, but after getting used to the darkness for a couple of seconds, Y/N began to distinguish silhouettes.

The room was a complete mess: all the clothes from the wardrobe were spread out on the floor, along with books, notebook sheets, rumpled bed linen and glass fragments that glittered in the moonlight. The lamp fell from the bedside table and was lying in the corner.

JJ was sitting at the foot of the bed, his head buried between his knees, and his hands were clutching the strands of his blonde hair in fists. His body was trembling. Even without seeing his face, Y/N could tell with certainty that JJ was trying his best to cope with the hysteria that was punishing him.

"Hey, J, are you okay?" the girl asked softly, quietly approaching the guy and kneeling next to him.

Startled, JJ mmediately raised his head, staring at the girl in shock, as if he had seen a ghost. There were wet marks on his cheeks, and his eyes were swollen and red from crying. More than anything, Y/N wanted to hold him close and comfort him, to convince him that everything would be fine.

"Angel?" JJ asked hoarsely, not believing his eyes. The sound of her soft and gentle voice sent a wave of goosebumps through his body. Her voice. It had been so long since he had heard her voice. "Did I wake you up? I'm sorry... I-I didn't mean to... I-" JJ stumbled through his words, frowning and averting his gaze from the girl.

"Hey, hey, hey... calm down, J," the girl whispered softly, covering his palm with her hand. "I understand, okay? Everything is fine," the girl said soothingly, trying to smile.

I don't mind your shadows

'Cause they disappear in the light

JJ's gaze ran over her face, going over every detail of her appearance that he has memorized over all these years by heart. She looked the same as always, but her gaze seemed to have lost the spark that made his heart beat faster every time. But now all he could see there was emptiness and sadness, which even her slight smile couldn't hide.

All these two weeks, living under the same roof with her, JJ avoided her gaze, afraid to see this look. The look of loss. The loss of a brother that JJ felt responsible for. The lucky charm for all problems in the world is JJ Maybank. And JJ hated himself for it.

He caused her so much pain, coming to her to heal his wounds after fights with his father or kooks, or when he brought girls to the chateau, knowing full well about her feelings for him... Because he's afraid to admit to her that he's experiencing the same thing. JJ Maybank destroyed not only her life, but also the lives of all the people around him. And he thinks that it would be better for everyone if he just didn't exist.

Y/N noticed how his jaw clenched, and his gaze fixed on the wall became colder and felt a wave of goosebumps pass through her body when he abruptly got up from the floor early. Routledge Jr. could always understand her brother's best friend even without words. This situation was no exception. She understood that JJ's inner demons were devouring him from the inside out.

"Don't do this, Jay. Don't do this to yourself," Y/N whispered softly, trying to fight back the tears that threatened to burst, but her voice trembled treacherously.

"I'm the problem, angel," JJ said without turning to the girl still sitting on the floor. "I am the main cause of your troubles! Wherever I go, I only make things worse! I... didn't save John B.... I'm hurting you... I..."

"Don't do this to me, Jay!" the girl repeated more forcefully, jumping to her feet, wiping away tears.

"I don't care about your shadows! I'm not afraid of them!" Y/N said sobbing, clutching his hand. "I'm here! I'm always there for you! I'll be your light if you need me. But don't leave me… I-I love you."

And listen to me, it's okay to be afraid

Just walk like you're never alone

"I didn't stop your brother, Y/N," the guy continued to insist, whispering, feeling tears accumulate in his eyes again. "He’s not here! And it’s my fucking fault!"

Y/N's hands cupped his cheeks, pressing his forehead to hers, closing her eyes and trying to calm her breath. JJ's hands rested on her waist, pressing her against his body, wanting to feel such a missing and dear warmth to his heart. JJ could feel her thumbs wiping away the tears rolling down his cheek.

"Listen to me, J. It's not your fault," Dana whispered softly.

"It's not your fault that John B is a stubborn bastard who always does everything the way he wants," the girl chuckled softly, feeling tears begin to roll down her cheeks too. She missed her brother like crazy, and she would do anything to have him here with her right now. But here and now, there was no John B., it was just her and JJ, who was damn bad at handling his emotions. So, Maybank and his mental state were more important to her than grief for her brother right now.

"You know you wouldn't have stopped him, so stop blaming yourself," Y/N sniffed, opening her eyes to meet his blue gaze. "It's not your fault."

The guy nodded slowly, holding her closer to him, burying his nose in her neck, inhaling soft vanilla scent of her hair. Y/N felt his body shaking in her arms, as he desperately clung to her, trying not to let himself completely collapse.

"I'm so scared that they won't come back, angel," the guy whispered softly into her neck. "I'm so scared that he won’t come back…"

"Me too, but it's okay," the girl whispered with a lump in her throat, running a soothing hand through his hair. "Everything will be okay… He will return… It’s- It‘s John B, he always returns"

There was silence in the room, broken only by their ragged breathing and the patter of raindrops on the window. JJ lifted his head, gently brushing away the strands of hair stuck to Y/N's cheeks, giving her a soft smile. JJ kissed her gently on the forehead before pulling her to his chest, hugging her tightly. His chin rested on top of her head.

"But we'll get through this together, as we always have. Like we've done it hundreds of times," Y/N said in a barely audible voice, forcing not only JJ, but also herself to believe that someday, everything will come to its senses again.

That someday John B and Sarah will come back and everything will be as before. That maybe someday her father will be found too and she will have a family again. That the black shadows that consumed JJ's life would be replaced by the sun's rays that would illuminate his path. That someday their life will really become like a zebra, and not like a black tunnel from which there is no way out.

But for now, all they could do was hold on to each other tightly, not letting themselves drown in the shadows of grief and loss.

And Y/N Routledge knew for sure that with JJ Maybank by her side, she could survive anything.

And all these voices in our head

Well, they keep screaming louder and louder

But they won't pull us under

thankx for reading <з

this is my first work on Tumblr, so I hope you enjoyed it. feedback always appreciated :з

– your santi ✨

#– santi 🪐#jj maybank x reader #jj mayback imagine #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank x you #jj maybank fic #jj maybank angst #jj maybank x routledge!reader

136 notes · View notes

wntrs0ldier · 10 months

Text

An Offer II: Safe Haven · 01

pairing: mob!bucky x reader words: 5,3k warnings: typical mafia (dark themes, language, violence, etc.), a/n: if you see any mistake, please, close your eyes,,

series masterlist

series summary: The ride was bumpy, but in the end, you got your husband. Your marriage gave you protection, and your new husband shared with you his life, his Family, his wealth. His demons and his enemies. Only time can show whether it was worth it.

Although his scent had managed to wash off, you loved walking around in that soft, far too large robe of his. Leaving the bedroom – where you hadn't even slept an hour together, let alone the whole night – you put one over your shoulders and tied the belt. And, as you do every morning, you went to the kitchen, which, in practice, was your shared kitchen; except that not at the same time. You prepared the coffee, and with a mug in your hand headed to the living room; you leaned against the entrance frame and fixed your gaze on the couch, or rather on the person occupying it – Jerry. This time you remembered the name. You lifted the mug to your mouth, but your lips did not come into contact with the bitter, hot surface of the drink.

Was there any limit to the amount of time you could miss someone who, given the short period of knowing them, shouldn't mean that much? And what could you be capable of to drown that feeling of abandonment?

A little more than a week was still missing and you could safely cross out the third month of Bucky's absence. This was not how you imagined the beginnings of your marriage, but you consoled yourself with the knowledge that it could have been much worse. On the other hand, it could also have been much better. To some extent, your life resembled the one you had led before your marriage and even before your father's death – you didn't have to worry about business; it was secure and had regained its former fluidity. Enough to calm Tony Stark down. You were able to concentrate mainly on your gallery, spend weekends with your friends or with Suzie. Everything went on with the old rhythm, with a few exceptions. You didn't date anymore, and turning down potential lovers came more easily to you. And you devoted Sunday afternoons and evenings to your new family – Winnifred would invite you to tea or dinner, and these activities became your marital duties. But you really felt more like a new purchase of the Barnes Family than a wife to Bucky – after all, you spent more time with them than with your husband.

But he still tried.

He called at least once every two, sometimes three days. You would have loved to call him every day, but you never did – you didn't want to disturb him, because you knew he was working hard. You heard how tired he was, so each time you asked him to get some sleep; you kept telling him that your day wasn't that interesting. But Bucky never relented – he claimed he liked listening to your voice.

Jerry twitched, opening his eyes, which automatically fell on you. For a split second, he seemed deathly terrified; you guessed that his mind sensed your gaze, and raised the alarm as a result. But Jerry was safe. At least for now.

“Did you sleep well?” You smiled slightly, perhaps a little meanly, then took a sip of coffee without dropping your gaze.

The young man immediately sat up and rubbed his face. “Oh God…” he gasped. “Don't tell Bucky. He’ll fucking murder me.”

“Don't worry. It can happen to anyone.”

“Has it happened to someone before me..?” he asked with hope.

You wrinkled your nose and shook your head, which made Jerry groan with dissatisfaction.

“Would you like some breakfast?” You raised your eyebrows.

“After something like that? No way, I'm out of here.”

You walked Jerry to the door.

“Please. I'm begging,” he said, almost hanging on the doorknob. “Don't tell Bucky. Don't tell anyone, because it will definitely get to him.”

You sighed heavily, holding back from rolling your eyes. It seemed to you that Jerry was exaggerating, but on the other hand he was white as a sheet, so you didn’t want to scare him more. “I won't tell anyone. I promise.”

“What..?” Connie stared at you with curiosity, and the fork on which she had scrupulously scooped one of each ingredient of her salad hung not far from her mouth.

As befits a wealthy wife abandoned by a husband absorbed in work, you had a lunch date with Connie and your two other friends, Victoria and Holly, who were close enough to you to know some of your secrets. As in the case of Connie, you didn't share with them all the details of your life, you didn't get them into the business you did, but they knew who you were. They also knew the character of your marriage; it was impossible to keep it a mystery when matters of the heart were an integral part of your conversations. And even if you could pretend that you and Bucky had something more in common – something by which people usually decided to take such a binding step as marriage – your girlfriends would have figured you out right away.

“Who’s Jerry?” Holly furrowed.

You couldn't remember if she was there when you mentioned him for the first time. However, you didn't have a chance to dig up this information in your head – Victoria rushed to explain: “He's some sort of bodyguard. Is that right?” She glanced at you, and you nodded.

Some sort of bodyguard was a surprisingly accurate term for Jerry and the rest of the boys. Since Bucky was away from home and unable to look after your safety himself, he ordered his men to do so. With that, you got to know a handful of Bucky's most trusted soldiers, and every evening one of them sat in a car parked outside your apartment, watching the building and its surroundings. Every morning one of them drove you to work, in the afternoons they escorted you home or wherever you pleased. You were never alone. Even now, sipping wine in a fancy pub, you were under the watchful eye of one of them; he was sitting a few tables away and going over the menu for the fifth time, glancing in your direction from time to time. He took a seat at the other end of the room to avoid being noticeable, but your friends were fully aware of his presence. Besides, they weren't the only ones; he was quite a flashy item in a restaurant filled mostly with women dressed in pastels and beiges.

“Are you still okay with that? All that following?” Holly continued.

“They don’t follow me.” You rolled your eyes, smiling lightly. It's not that you had been brainwashed into accepting the possessiveness or the desire to control your every move; you just understood what rules applied to your and Bucky's world. You also understood that your friends were not as aware, so your husband's security measures may have been deceptively similar to red flags. “Following someone tends to be done in secret from the person who is being followed, you know?”

“What's up with Jerry?” Connie interrupted. “Did you sleep with him or not?”

“No, of course not,” you calmly denied. But instead of continuing to speak, you paused for a moment – a memory popped into your head; a memory of Bucky's prettily pink, parted lips as he savored your wet warmth. You swallowed hard, sinking your teeth into your lower lip. “He slept. On the couch. Alone.”

“A bodyguard should sleep on the job..?” Holly asked doubtfully.

“In theory, no. But whenever I was able to forget Jerry's presence somewhere around, I heard sneezing or sniffling.” You raised your eyebrows. “I was afraid that if I left him in the car overnight, he would faint from a fever or something. I invited him inside, or rather convinced him to come in, and he fell asleep on the couch. That's it.” You shrugged.

“You shouldn't have done that,” Victoria said, her forehead creased in worry. “You shouldn't invite strangers into your apartment. What if he would hurt you?”

“Uh, that's not exactly what bodyguards do.”

The rest of your lunch followed the pattern repeated at every meeting you've had for almost the last three months. Your girlfriends expressed their concern toward your relationship, and then smoothly moved on to other topics. This time a party you had little idea about. Not because they didn't include you; you just didn't hear a word. Absorbed in your own thoughts, you completely disconnected yourself from the place and the company. You reflected on the fact that you spent far more time with them, and even with the previously mentioned bodyguards, than with Bucky. It shouldn't have affected you on the scale it actually did – you were purely business partners who happened to have sex a few times. But all those things you promised each other before he left...

On the one hand, they were somehow groundbreaking. On the other, they became blurred in this long separation. Besides…

Your eyes involuntarily rested on your hand. Despite being married, you still didn't have rings. You wore at least an engagement ring – an apparent sign of being taken, but Bucky? You couldn't be sure – away from home, away from New York, away from you – he wasn't taking advantage of the lack of a wedding band. Maybe he only called you in the evenings, drained, because his other life was consuming all his time and energy? You knew he couldn't be so vile to you, but maybe he was trying to protect you? Had he found someone in Italy and didn't want to break your heart? Maybe the bodyguards were not there to protect you, but to keep you from any potential surprise visit?

A sudden flash of sanity made you realize that you were becoming paranoid. You didn't have Bucky around; you couldn't look at him or talk to him freely, so you kept thinking about him. This, in turn, led you to newer and newer conclusions that you wouldn't normally even consider. Timothy got his way – he effectively punished you, because you were going through a living hell.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?”

You were so deep in your own thoughts that you didn't even know who had spoken to you. All three – Connie, Victoria and Holly – were looking at you.

“Hmm?” you muttered, raising your eyebrows questioningly, although you could hear perfectly well what they wanted to know. “Oh, it’s… It’s nothing.” You shook your head with the abashed smile of someone caught in the act. “It's just... I miss him. Very much,” you said in order to justify your drifting away. You just didn't tell the whole truth; you didn't intend to torment your friends with your fears, because these were taken from panic, not a rational perception of things.

“Do you like him in that way?” Holly smiled provocatively.

Before you could explain that you would probably miss each of them just as much during such a long separation, Victoria cut you off again: “This is so sweet…” She almost melted. “Maybe you're not telling us something? Maybe you are at the boyfriend-girlfriend phase? Things like this can happen when two people are close. Even in a not-for-real-marriage, right?” She looked around at your faces for some confirmation of her words.

“I would know if we were at that phase,” you said immediately.

“Not necessarily. This phase is not always clear. Not all people ask directly about dating, like, you know, as a couple. Sometimes you just fall into it. Unconsciously and naturally.” Vicky shrugged.

A short silence settled over the table. You reached for your glass of wine, and, staring unseeingly at some random point, emptied the rest of the drink in slow sips.

“I'll see you this weekend?” you finally spoke.

“As always. But maybe you should invite Jerry this time?” Connie grinned with amusement, and you gently kicked her under the table.

“Are you okay?” Steve's voice filled the inside of the car.

“I won't throw up here, if that's what you're asking,” you answered, taking your eyes off the side window to look at him. Steve’s mouth curved into a slight smile.

You doubted that picking you up from a nightclub was his ideal scenario for a Saturday night, but at least he didn't waste the whole evening babysitting you. Admittedly, he was up for it, but you managed to convince him to give you some freedom. You still didn't mind round-the-clock security, but you got the impression that your friends were starting to feel a little uncomfortable. You couldn't accept that they weren't able to relax and enjoy your girls’ night out, and if you had any power to do so, you decided to use it. In return, you promised Steve that – after the party – you would wait for him like a good girl you were, and let him drive you home without saying a word.

Your head was still buzzing from the pounding music and people shouting to each other, and you felt this unpleasant dry stickiness in your mouth. It wasn't the worst state you could get yourself into, because although you hoped to get rid of the annoying, uncomfortable thoughts, you didn't want to completely knock yourself out of consciousness.

You were haunted by the same problems; fueled by longing and the absence of Bucky, who could ease your doubts. Besides, for the past few days you couldn't push away what Victoria said – leaving aside your marriage, could you and Bucky have been more than that? Before he left, he behaved as if you were, but did he allow the possibility or did he do all this because he felt an obligation to act as a husband should? Moreover, you didn't even know why you felt the need to find out all this; after all, you weren't hoping for anything. Other than an inherent affection, a weakness, an incomprehensible attachment and a natural human desire, you had no deeper feelings for Bucky. So what was your problem?

Mindlessly, your eyes wandered to Steve again. Sometimes you would return in memories to Bucky's words; to the moment when he joked that he could recommend you to Steve – you wondered how your life would have turned out then. You would certainly have experienced a completely different dynamic, because while Bucky was patient with you, Steve exceeded all expectations. But unlike Bucky, he behaved a little too formally, politely in your company; as if he didn't allow himself to show any flaws. This, in turn, partly let you guess what Bucky meant when he said: ‘I'm not a guy you marry. Steve is.’ With the warmth, caring and calmness radiating from him, Steve was something of a last step – he just reassured you that he was the right, safe choice; that he would create a stable environment not only for his potential wife, but also for his children.

Bucky, on the other hand, oozed the aura of a charming, slightly unpredictable boyfriend; he made everything still exciting and fresh; he allowed the belief that you both still had enough room for mistakes.

You closed your eyes and let out a heavy breath. Steve glanced at you, raising his eyebrow questioningly. “Still not throwing up,” you stated. For a brief moment, you had an urge to bombard Steve with questions; you wanted to know if Bucky had ever been in a serious relationship; if he thought Bucky would last in one. But that would only deepen your paranoia; besides, you weren't convinced about the idea of getting to know Bucky through the eyes of others.

When the car stopped in front of the apartment building, you got out, grabbing your purse and the high heels you had taken off earlier. You intended to make your way to the apartment barefoot, because you couldn't even imagine putting on those uncomfortable shoes again.

“Oh, sorry. I left some glitter in your car,” you said, noticing shimmering specks from your dress on the seat. To be fair, you also had glitter in your hair and on your skin, so you thought you were equally victimized. “Well, a lot of glitter actually…”

“Don’t worry about it.” Turning off the engine, Steve gave you a smile.

“You don’t have to walk me to the door,” you asserted right away, seeing him getting ready to leave the vehicle.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. A security guard is sitting inside, there are also some cameras…” You shrugged. “I’ll be fine.”

Steve didn't insist – he kept providing you with this illusory sense of freedom. So you said goodbye and headed to the entrance, having previously promised to text him as soon as you crossed the apartment threshold. Steve's car disappeared only when you got inside the building. On your way to the apartment, you were thinking mainly about the contents of the fridge; for the last few hours your stomach had been getting only alcohol and salty snacks in really small portions – so now you were craving something decent.

As you slid the key into the lock, it refused to turn – the door was open. A wave of uneasy heat immediately swept over you, your stomach dropped. For a second you wanted to go back downstairs; perhaps Steve wasn't so far away yet, you could call him and wait with the security guard. Or outside. Anywhere, but not there. At the same time, you tried to keep a cool head and think rationally – what if you simply forgot to lock the door? After all, such things could happen. But there was no room in your life for such incidents. Bucky had you watched for a reason.

In the end, you decided to take possibly the stupidest, yet least dramatic step – you cautiously went inside. There was pitch darkness everywhere, which normally didn't scare you, but now you had no idea what was hiding in it. Too paralyzed by fear, you didn't even think to locate the light switch. You moved ahead – telling yourself repeatedly that it was probably just your paranoia, that you had actually forgotten to lock the door. If not, you had an open escape route – all you had to do was run down the corridor and get out of the apartment, then take the stairs, not the elevator.

Noticing a small red light smoldering in the darkness somewhere from the living room, you froze in stillness. Your body went numb, so unable to make any further movements, you stared at the spot. A recognizable rustling sound reached your ears, and immediately afterwards the vivid light of a lamp burst in the room, shining down on the silhouette sitting beneath it. Your tired, frightened, alcohol-soaked mind refused to believe that it was Bucky in the chair. Not only because, given the length of his absence, you hadn't considered his return in the nearest days – he also looked a little different than you remembered. The first thing that caught your eye was his thick beard; technically, it covered half of his face. Still, you could easily see his mouth stretched in a lazy, amused smile. His hair also got a little longer, and he looked even bigger, even more beefy, but these changes were not so drastic – you picked them up because you knew Bucky's body very well.

He let out a puff of smoke from between his lips, then put out his cigarette in the crystal ashtray placed on the armrest. “Hi,” Bucky spoke, his voice a bit muffled by the smoke coming out of his nostrils.

All negative feelings and real concerns were gone, but your heart was still racing like crazy. However, you weren't sure if it was due to the fear slowly leaving your body or at the sight of Bucky. You wanted to feel happy; you wanted to be able to get excited about the much anticipated return; you wanted to throw your arms around his neck, but in reality you felt really weak – on the verge of passing out. You dropped your shoes and purse on the floor, and rested your trembling hand on the doorframe.

“I scared you, huh?” He slightly tilted his head to the side.

“Yes,” you replied quietly; your voice still didn't feel steady enough, and your throat remained painfully tight.

“Good. You'll remember to take someone with you next time.” Bucky sounded strict and lecturing; as if he was about to bend you over his knee.

You watched each other – you looked at him a little warily, not sure where you were really at, what you should say or do, and Bucky was sizing you up in no rush; he studied closely your skimpy, not very covering dress with a deep neckline.

“Where were you?” There was no hint of possessiveness, jealousy or anger in his voice; only pure curiosity. Just as during your phone conversations over the past months, he wanted to know about your day; he wanted to know everything. He could have asked his people, but he trusted you to tell him the whole truth.

“At the club. With my girls.”

“Were there any guys..?”

You nodded, not taking your eyes off him. “As it is in clubs.” You shrugged. “Full of guys.”

“Poor fellas. Wish I could have seen their faces when they realized all they could do was look at the prettiest girl in all of New York.” Some boyish delight surfaced in his smile, and a pleasant warmth spread over your body. Why would he say all these things if there was any chasm between you? There was no chasm.

He didn't seem impatient, but watched you with gentle anticipation, and soon patted his thigh in an inviting manner. Without a second thought, you moved from your spot and finally straddled him. In all this longing, you forgot how good it felt to be surrounded by the warmth of his body, his scent; how much your body fitted into his, as his thighs felt like the most comfortable place in the world.

“I was kind of hoping you would be happy to see me.” Bucky winced barely noticeably. “Is this about me scaring you? I'm sorry,” he said with remorse, although just a moment earlier he was eager to teach you a lesson. He placed a tender kiss on your cleavage, and your skin burned in that spot.

“I am happy,” you replied, smiling softly. You couldn't let him think otherwise. “I just-”

You wanted to confess all your fears to him, because you knew he would either confirm or get rid of them. But when Bucky lifted one of his hands to your face for a purpose you had no chance to know, your eyes caught the movement and registered something else. You quickly grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand closer to get a good look at it. Bucky was wearing a wedding ring. And it appeared that he didn't put it on on the plane or right after he arrived; he must have already worn it in Italy, because when the ring slid a little higher, you noticed a pale, untouched by the sun mark that stood out on his tanned hand.

“Got one for you, too.” Bucky smiled with satisfaction, but that gesture was sprinkled with a bit of caution. “And a few other things. But first, I'd rather hear what’s bothering you.”

You knew you should tell him; after all, a couple months earlier you yourself had made it clear to him that you needed to speak your minds more. But you didn't want to ruin the peaceful atmosphere. You were both too tired for this conversation. Besides, with or without explanations, you were no longer worried about your relationship – Bucky was here. Right by your side. And there was no sign that he was about to break your heart; unless he was about to crush it with affection.

“Nothing is bothering me,” you claimed with another tender smile, hoping that was enough to distract him from further attempts to get the truth out of you. “You surprised me. I thought I would be able to get ready for you coming, but instead, I'm a mess. A little bit drunk, sticky mess,” you said, which came easily, because you weren't actually lying; you imagined the conditions under which you would celebrate Bucky's return a little differently. Even with all your worries. “I thought it would be more, I don't know,” you shrugged, “perfect maybe..?”

Bucky seemed to accept this version. Perhaps because – considering his exhaustion – you produced far too many words for him to process. “The next time will be more perfect.” The smile lingering on his lips took on a lazy expression.

You shook your head at his words. “There will be no next time, not in the near future,” you said with conviction, as if his unconventional schedule depended on you. “You're not going anywhere, because I'm not letting you.”

He let out a quiet laugh. “In that case, I can go out and come in again.”

“Alright, but you'll have to wait until I hang the banner and inflate balloons.” You raised your eyebrows. The lightness and playfulness surrounding you made you forget the past months. Your concerns and insecurities blurred in the way Bucky looked at you. “Now, show me what you brought me,” you added with theatrical excitement.

“You little materialist…” Shaking his head with just as exaggerated disapproval, Bucky reached outside the chair and grabbed a paper bag. He placed it between your bodies, but you had no pressing need to look inside it. Instead, you watched Bucky almost with fascination; his movements as he slid his hand into the bag. When he pulled it out, his fingers were embracing a small, velour box. Having taken the object carefully, you opened it; the ring Bucky mentioned was waiting inside – a little narrower than the one he wore, but otherwise looked basically identical. “May I?” His gentle tone immediately caught your attention. Without thinking, you turned the box toward him; he pulled out the ring, grabbed your wrist gently to stabilize your hand, and slid the ring onto your finger.

You stared at it, and when you lifted your gaze back to Bucky's face, you caught his eyes stuck on you. “Thank you,” you whispered.

“It's just a little something I should have taken care of much sooner, huh?” he said, and the bag rustled again. Your lips parted in surprise and amazement when this time he took out a scented candle. He laughed softly as you grasped it right away, almost snatching it out of his hands; you guessed from its size and neat, minimalist label that it was one of the more expensive ones.

“You remembered…” Still stunned that he had bought something with you in mind; something almost personalized, you glanced at him, but quickly returned your eyes to the tag. "Tuscan Dream of the Sun..." you read out loud, raising an eyebrow. You opened the lid and brought the candle to your nose.

“Is this how you imagined a Tuscan dream of the sun?” Bucky furrowed his forehead. In response, you moved the candle closer to his face. “I smelled it earlier,” he protested, nevertheless, he inhaled the scent instinctively. “I'm not sure what dreams of the sun smell like, but this smells like oranges. And vanilla.”

“Ohh, right,” you replied, enlightened by the answer you were looking for. “You're right…” You pulled the bag in your direction to put the candle back in it. In the process, you spotted another velour box. “Did you buy another ring? For your mistress?” you asked provocatively, but not angrily.

“Mhm.” Bucky nodded with a sly, lazy smile resting on his lips. “You can take a peek. Tell if she will like it.”

So you reached for the box – a little bigger, flatter than the previous one – and opened it. To your eyes appeared a necklace – a thin, delicate chain with a gemstone in a light, icy shade of blue.

“And?” Bucky asked softly. “Does she like it?”

Without taking your gaze off the necklace, you nodded. “It's really pretty,” you answered in a hushed voice and looked at Bucky. “What's the occasion?”

“No occasion. It's just a gift. So I can keep an eye on you.” He shrugged gently, lifting the corner of his mouth in a not particularly enthusiastic expression. Only then did you realize what the color of the stone reminded you of – Bucky's irises.

For a brief moment he said nothing more, watching you put on the necklace; how you fastened it in front of your face and then turned the lock back, making the pendant rest on your neckline.

“I'm sorry,” he spoke in a more serious tone. His hand slid over your bare calf, and combined with the contrite, even pained expression on his face, the gesture seemed extremely tender to you. “For not being here. You agreed to marry me, and then I left you alone. For so fucking long-”

“Hey.” You put your hands on his cheeks, casting a determined look on his helpless eyes. “You had no choice. Okay?” In response, Bucky nodded barely noticeably. “It was hard for me, that's true. But the fault doesn't lie with you. It never even crossed my mind,” you stated firmly. You chose to ignore the fact that a bunch of other, more or less disturbing things popped into your head while he was gone. “And I'm not saying this because I'm your wife, and it's my job to support your every decision. I'm saying this because you didn't do anything wrong. I'm saying it because I understand.”

He turned his gaze away and chewed on his bottom lip nervously. There was still a look of worry on his face telling you that Bucky didn't quite believe your words. He was completely different when you found him in the apartment, and you didn't know what had happened during those several minutes. Maybe he remembered all the responsibility and effort that comes with being a husband? Whatever it was, it spread in his mind like a poison you didn't know the cure for. You couldn't get into his mind, and he didn't want to make his thoughts available to you in any other way. Or, perhaps, after all, he sensed that there was something you didn't want to tell him, and he returned the favor?

Despite your slight resignation, you plastered a weak smile on your face and tucked a strand of Bucky's hair behind his ear. He closed his eyes, accepting this tender gesture; absorbing its warmth. “You’re tired,” you remarked. “You should go to bed-” You rose gently with the intention of getting off his thighs, but Bucky's hands quickly found their way to your hips; he held you down, pressing you back against his body. He gazed at you again, a little calmer this time, and with a visible exhaustion that you were absolutely right about.

He reached up to touch your cheek, his fingers slipped into your hair. He pulled you in carefully, then pressed your lips together in a delicate kiss; as if testing whether you still accepted his mouth on yours. When, without much thought, you welcomed and reciprocated the kiss, he slipped his tongue into your mouth – he remembered your taste, and when he realized how much he loved it, he let out a low grunt. Pleasant warmth spread throughout your body in a devastating wave – it almost completely washed away any barriers.

He soon pulled away from you. “You are tired, too. And a little drunk, right?” He asked, studying your face intently.

You nodded, not intending to deny it. Bucky drew you to him again; this time he placed a tender kiss on your forehead. You dropped your eyelids, feeling a peace spreading throughout you. He may not have been your boyfriend, or your not-for-real-husband, but he was your home, your safe haven.

a/n: feel free to share your thoughts, they are more than welcomed 🥰

taglist: @goldensunflowe-r @nefri-black @vickie5446 @learisa @sjsmith56 @aya-fay @hhiggs @wishingwell-2 @buckysgirl01 @emily-roberts @prettylittlepluviophile @leaaa008 @itvy5601 @melsunshine @pattiemac1 @marvel-fandom23 @rabbitrabbit12321 @xsecretsirenx @heyyitsreign @xhollycowx @samfreakingwinchester @thrnlvr @samjuarezzz @loustan90 @kandis-mom @abaker74 @gabshouse @casa-boiardi @globetrotter28 @fand0mskullfa1ry @iateall-yourcookies @swordofawriter @theroyalmanatee @midnightvitality

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #mob!bucky #mob!bucky x reader #mob!bucky x y/n #mob bucky #mob bucky x y/n #mob bucky x reader #mafia!bucky #mafia!bucky x reader #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #mafia bucky #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes imagine #bucky x you

454 notes · View notes

agustdakasuga · 8 months

Text

The Way Of A Criminal: Chapter 9

Genre: Mafia!AU, Criminal!AU, Angst, Romance

Pairing: OT7 x Reader

Characters: Normal!Reader, Gangster!Namjoon, Gangster!Seokjin, Gangster!Yoongi, Gangster!Hoseok, Gangster!Jimin, Gangster!Taehyung, Gangster!Jungkook

Summary: Your father was a stranger, you never knew who he was and what he did. But one day, someone knocks on your door, informing you of his passing. Now, you learn more about him, his life and the legacy you are expected to continue with the help of his 7 executives.

Story warning(s): This story will contain depictions of violence, blood shed/gore, death, mentions of abuse, smoking, alcohol drinking and gambling. This story is fictional and has nothing to do with real life events or the actual members of BTS. Please read at your own discretion.

“I shouldn’t turn up early when you guys are not ready, right?” You asked with a giggle as you walked beside Wonwoo.

“Don’t worry, if we’re not ready at this point, I don’t think we’ll ever be ready. Besides, I want to introduce you to my team.” Wonwoo smiled. You nodded with a hum. As you stood outside the studio, you heard music and chatter coming from the inside.

“Hey guys. I’m here.” Wonwoo knocked before entering. He held the door open for you to go in. There were so many people in Wonwoo’s team, 13 of them in total.

“Everyone, this is my best friend, (y/n). (y/n), this is my team.” Wonwoo smiled brightly as he introduced you, his hands resting on your shoulders.

“Nice to meet you all.” You bowed shyly.

“Any friend of Wonwoo’s is a friend of ours. Please, make yourself comfortable.” The boys all introduced themselves to you. It was a lot of names to take in at once but they were patient and kind.

“Better start warming up, Wonwoo.” One of them reminded. You waved Wonwoo off and took a seat at the corner.

“Jihoon hyung, is this the new track?” Chan held up a CD.

“It should be.” The shorter male nodded his head. You tilted your head as you looked at him. His complexion and features reminded you of Yoongi, you wouldn’t be surprised if they were related in some way.

“Yes?” Jihoon turned to you, having noticed you staring at him. Your eyes widened before you shook your head.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare. You just look like someone I know.” You explained. He chuckled and nodded his head, turning back to talk to another team member. You watched as Wonwoo warmed up, completely focused on what Mingyu was saying to him. At least you weren’t distracting him with your presence there.

This wasn’t an ordinary evaluation. Wonwoo had described it has having to plan a concert on their own, which not only tested their talents but also their stage management skills and teamwork ability.

“Which ever team is ready can warm up first.” Seungcheol announced to the others.

“Is there something I can help with? I can like play the music or something.” You volunteered, seeing the boys run back and forth to the music system.

“No need. You’re our audience!” Joshua smiled.

“I know how busy you guys are warming up and rehearsing. I don’t mind helping, I can still be the audience from where I am seated anyway. This way, you guys don’t have to take turns.” You giggled.

“Okay then. Thank you!” He patted your shoulder.

“Don’t worry about it.” You replied in English, guessing he could speak the language since he had an English name. Joshua’s eyes widened.

“You speak English?” He asked. You nodded your head, rubbing the back of your neck shyly.

“That’s cool. You speak well!” Joshua laughed. He explained that only him and Vernon could speak English in the team. And you told him how your mother wanted you to be a polyglot, thinking that it would help you in your future career.

Wonwoo watched you laugh and chat with Joshua in English. He hadn’t seen you open up so easily to a stranger you have just met before and it made him feel weird.

“(y/n).” Wonwoo called. His team was done warming up and were going to run their rehearsal first.

“I better get to my job.” You turned back to go to the music system.

“Of course. So this is play and pause, this is to go back to the start and this is to skip to the next song. Easy.” Joshua told you how to work the system and it was relatively simple. You nodded your head and sat down.

“Go.” Wonwoo gave you a thumbs up and you played the music. You watched Wonwoo and his team rap. They were all very charismatic and powerful with their raps.

“Pause. Sorry, I missed the beat. Can we start again?” Vernon said. You stopped the music and scrolled back to the start to play again.

“Thanks, (y/n).” Vernon said into the mic. You gave him two thumbs up and a smile. While they rehearsed diligently, the others made sure to keep their voices down to avoid distracting those that were practicing. You took your phone out to order some drinks from the school cafe to be delivered to the studio for Wonwoo and his friends.

*KNOCK KNOCK*

“Oh. Hang on.” You stood up and went to the door. Wonwoo momentarily looked away, eyes following your figure. Were you already leaving before the performance even started?

“Sorry about that.” You jogged back and stopped the music as the next song was going to play.

“I’m not sure what everyone likes so I bought iced americanos for everyone. Please help yourselves.” You told everyone with a bow as you carried in the coffee carriers. Wonwoo went over to help you take them.

“No worries!”

“You didn’t need to but thank you, (y/n)!” The boys all chorused as they handed out the coffees to one another.

“This is yours. Your regular order.” You took a specific cup out and handed it to Wonwoo. Of course you would know what his regular order was. He received the cup, taking a sip.

“Thank you, (y/n).” Wonwoo smiled softly, patting your head.

After that little coffee break, you helped the others run their unit routines. You made sure to clap for each of them. They were all so talented in their own way. Wonwoo sat beside you as he took his break, waiting for them to finish so they could all do the main performance together.

“Do you want to take a break?” Wonwoo asked, nudging your shoulder playfully. You shook your head.

“I’m good. It’s just pushing a button.” You laughed. Wonwoo was soon called and all 13 of them prepared to do their performance as a team. You were in awe, it was so mesmerising to see them all come together.

“Let’s do it sharper and cleaner.” Soonyoung said as they all panted at the end.

“Okay. Take a sip of water and we’ll run it one last time.” Seungcheol said to everyone. You scrolled the song back for them to rehearse again.

“Thank you for your help, (y/n). See you!” The boys all waved to you as you parted ways with them. They were going backstage while you were heading to where the audience sits.

“Good luck.” You wished them.

“You’ve been a great help. Thanks again.” Wonwoo smiled, placing a hand on your head as he looked at you.

“No need to thank, Wonwoo. Your friends are all really nice. All the best for your performances, I know you can do it. Don’t doubt yourself and your talent.” You encouraged him. Wonwoo laughed, nodding his head.

“I’ll see you in the audience?” He tilted his head. You gave him a thumbs up and walked away from him. Wonwoo had saved you a seat in the front row of the small auditorium. Down the row, you could see the professors and instructors there, ready to grade and evaluate all 13 boys. You hoped they could see how hard all of them worked on this.

“Alright, everyone. I’m sure you know that these performances will be evaluated so let’s not draw attention away from the performers.” One of the professors spoke to the audience.

“Begin!” One said into the mic and the lights dimmed.

“Go, Wonwoo!” You cheered along with the rest of the audience that was there, awaiting the boys to come out.

The performance began, it wasn’t a long show. There were two entire group performances, unit performances and some members played extra instruments. Like Wonwoo playing the guitar while Jihoon played the piano.

“Thank you all for making it tonight. We’re really grateful and hope you enjoyed the performance.” The 13 of them stood in a line and bowed.

“Thank you!” The boys all waved. Wonwoo looked down and saw your retreating back heading for the auditorium exit. He ran backstage to get his bag to try and catch you.

“(y/n)!” He was going to ask if you wanted to have dinner together to celebrate a successful performance. But you didn’t seem to hear him as you walked to the exit of the university. He jogged after you, smiling to those that congratulated him on a good show.

“Wow, look at him!”

“Who is he?”

Wonwoo saw you rush towards a buff guy, leaning against his Lamborghini. His sleeves were folded up, revealing the tattoo sleeve he had on one arm.

“Sorry for the wait.” You bowed your head as you approached. The guy shook his head, opening the door for you to enter the passenger seat. After that, he went to the driver’s seat and sped off, leaving the students to gossip.

“The show just ended. Did you wait long...? Uh...” You didn’t know his name.

“Jungkook. And no, I didn’t wait long. It’s alright, I was earlier than the time Taehyung hyung told me to come anyway.” He spoke without much emotion.

‘Sorry I had to rush off for a dinner appointment, Woo! But congratulations on having a great performance, you were amazing! Let’s have a meal soon to celebrate! On me. - (y/n)’

*read*

You assumed that Wonwoo was probably busy, which is why he didn’t reply despite having read your message. The show was good and you had no doubt that Wonwoo would receive a good grade. But at the same time, you could be biased. You tucked your phone away, looking out at the view as Jungkook sped through the streets and cars.

“We’re here.” Jungkook said as he parked the car in the basement. You came out, slinging your bag over your shoulder.

“Thanks for coming to get me.” You bowed your head. He hummed, walking in front of you. You followed him into the house, vaguely remembering the way to the guest bedroom you used.

“Agashi, the bathroom has been restocked for your use.” The butler informed.

“Thank you. I’m glad I still remember how to get there. This place is like a maze.” You chuckled. The butler nodded with a laugh.

“I’ll leave you to it then. If you need anything, just let us know.” He bowed deeply before exiting the room. You took out the outfit you planned and hung it up, not wanting it to crease any further.

“I’ve got an hour to get ready.” You checked your phone before hopping into the bathroom.

“Calm down.” You told yourself with your hand over your racing heart, knowing that your time was running out. After a nice shower, you played some music as you dried your hair, trying to style it with the hairdryer that was in the bathroom, and did some light makeup.

The outfit you chose was a black turtle neck with a plaid skirt and a dark brown blazer draped over your shoulders. For shoes, you went with black suede chelsea boots that had a small heel.

“You’re here.” As you were exiting the room, you bumped into Yoongi. He nodded, adjusting the collar of his shirt.

“Yes.” You bowed your head.

“Come on. We can wait for the others in the living room.” He nodded his head over to the stairwell. You slung your bag over your shoulder and followed him down to the living room area.

“Want a drink?” Yoongi offered, going to the bar area as you settled on the couch. You watched him pour some whiskey into a crystal glass.

“No, thanks.” You declined. He sat in the arm chair, quietly sipping his drink. You couldn’t help but think back to Jihoon earlier and how he looked so much like Yoongi.

“Something on my face?” Yoongi teased.

“Do you ever think you have a long lost brother out there?” You blurted out. Yoongi blinked, taken aback by your sudden question.

“Well, I never thought about that considering I can barely remember what my parents look like. That is really a question to think about. Do you think you have any long lost siblings out there?” Yoongi asked back. He obviously thought your question was more rhetorical and reflective rather than a direct one that had ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to answer.

“Sorry. I just... I just met someone that looked like you, that’s all. So I just blurted it out.” You rubbed the back of your neck in embarrassment. Yoongi burst out laughing.

“You’re peculiar.” He snorted.

“I didn’t mean it as a joke.” You face palmed. One by one, the other 6 streamed into the living room. They were all very handsome and well dressed.

“You look great.” Taehyung smiled, as if he heard your internal worry of being underdressed compared to them.

“Thank you. All of you too.” You used your hand to gesture to all of them. Namjoon stood next to you, holding his arm out to you. You blinked for a few minutes before you registered what his intentions were.

“Thank you.” You said meekly with a bow of your head as he walked you to the front. There were 3 big vans waiting with drivers.

“Uh...” You weren’t sure which van to go in as the boys naturally split into their usual seating arrangement. Seeing that Jimin and Jungkook went into the last van, you decided to go to one of the ones in front. You had a feeling the two didn’t like you very much.

“Are you just gonna stand there?” Yoongi tilted his head.

“Yah, Yoongi ah. Don’t speak like that. Come, (y/n), ride with us.” Jin smiled as he held his hand out to you.

“O-Okay.” You slipped your hand into his and stepped into the van. Yoongi wasn’t going to move to the back so you just squeezed between their two single seats to the third row.

“Are you nervous?” Jin suddenly turned around to face you.

“N-No?”

“Is that a question?” Yoongi voiced out, not looking up from his phone screen. At this point, you knew his was teasing and flattened.

“Stop being a bully. She’s already a wreck.” Jin slapped his arm. Being the oldest meant that Jin could do anything to Yoongi and Yoongi would think twice before retaliating.

“If you’re worried about Jimin, don’t worry about him. At most, you guys can just avoid one another for now and wait for another time to talk things out. Plus, the rest of us are there, he won’t do much.” Jin assured with a kind smile.

“But he’s right though. Everything he’s said, I agree with. It’s a hard pill to swallow but the truth, nonetheless.” You forced a smile.

“Doesn’t mean it’s the truth means he gets an excuse for acting the way he is now and the way he did before. A lot of people can tell the truth without the screaming, yelling and guilt tripping.” Yoongi spoke and Jin actually nodded his head in agreement. You chewed on your bottom lip as you fell back onto the seat to look out the window.

“Sir.” The van came to a stop and someone opened the van door. It was one of the doormen of the place you were going to for dinner. Jin and Yoongi came down. They held their hands out to you to help you down.

“My apologies for not noticing you, ma’am.” The doorman bowed deeply.

“It’s alright. Thank you.” You turned to Yoongi and Jin, pulling your hands away from theirs.

“I thought you said it wasn’t going to be a fancy place?” You asked Taehyung who came to walk beside you. The building sure looked fancy.

“It isn’t. Serious.” Taehyung held his hands up.

“It sure does look fancy...” You mumbled. You followed them in quietly, kind of walking between them so you wouldn’t feel like all the attention was on you. The 7 seemed used to it as people stared and whispered about them.

“Mr Kim. Right this way.” The hostess smiled and bowed to Namjoon. She was posh and pretty, even her posture as she walked was something admirable in those high heels.

“Please let us know if you need anything.” She said as she closed the doors to the private room, sealing you all in, away from the rest of the restaurant patrons. Hoseok handed you a menu and you flipped through it. Some of the items, you recognised because of the research you did prior.

“Are you alright, (y/n)?” Namjoon asked.

“Huh? Yes, I am.” You nodded. You were so focused on the menu that you hadn’t noticed the serious look on your face.

“We usually come for their dinner menu. The chef decides what to recommend, Dégustation in other words.” Jin helped you, flipping the menu to the back to show you.

“Okay. I’ll have that.” You decided. Most of the courses were fixed but for the appetiser, meat and the dessert, there were options to choose from.

“Do you have any food allergies?” Taehyung asked. You shook your head.

When the manager was called in, you listened and watched the 7 of them place their orders, all of them having their own combination of food based on their own preferences. Then it came to you.

“For the appetiser, I’ll have the dashi-poached crabmeat angel hair pasta. And for my meat, the 20-day dry aged hanwoo sirloin.” You ordered, learning from the boys’ order that dessert was ordered later after the rest of the meal.

“Of course, miss.” The manager bowed. Yoongi and Namjoon decided on a bottle of wine to order and share.

“You know your food.” Hoseok noted, impressed with you knowing what to order.

“No... I was really just guessing based on what sounded and looked good. I hope I ordered the right things” You lied, not wanting to reveal that you research common expensive foods prior to this.

“You chose good options.” Yoongi replied, assuring you. You let out a small sigh of relief. There wasn’t much conversation going on at the table as you waited for your food. They talked in smaller groups, like Jimin and Jungkook, who were seated opposite each other at the end of the table. You were at the other end, opposite Namjoon with Jin on your left.

“Did you pick a major yet?” Yoongi asked.

“No... I haven’t really thought about it actually. Every time I try to narrow down my options, it just ends up being more confusing for me.” You rubbed the back of your neck.

“Your father mentioned that you’re a polyglot. Why don’t you go into linguistics?” Namjoon pointed out.

“That is probably one of my top options. But I was wondering what I can do with a linguistics degree... Career wise.” You sighed.

“The demands of the industry is always changing. And in my opinion, a linguistics degree is less narrowed than a specific science degree, for example.” He shrugged. You nodded your head, he did make sense.

“And in our company, we do deal with foreign partners so having someone like you on hand would be useful.” Hoseok added on. Maybe now, there was a purpose for you to pick a major.

“But of course, that shouldn’t be your reason to pick the major.” Taehyung said, as if he knew what you were thinking.

Series Masterlist

Ko-Fi

Main masterlist

300 notes · View notes

diaryujin · 22 days

Text

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐍

summary: Sunghoon has never felt any spark in his heart, none of that silly love he’s read about in novels in his free time. No one interested him, and it wasn’t like his father, the king, would let him have friends, male or female, for fear of being betrayed or developing feelings for them. He lived a life of isolation, excited for nothing – neither the idea of being married to a pretty princess nor becoming the next ruler of the Park kingdom. He most certainly did not expect you, his new guard, to change all that. He did not expect you to brighten his days and light up his heart.

includes: death, murder, war/battle, attempted murder (kinda), breaking in, royal au, romanticized medieval setting of sorts, forced marriage/proposal, a lot of time skips so it moves somewhat quickly, brief mention of a toxic ex, death by illness, joking mention of jumping off a balcony, blood, wounds, denial of death kinda, graves, lmk if i missed anything!

genre: angst

pairing: prince! sunghoon x guard! fem! reader

word count: 8.1k (woah)

taglist: @kflixnet @kpopslays @jvjsssnaa a/n: it’s finally here! i sacrificed sleep for this and i do not regret it at all. this fic has two milestones for me - being my longest fic + a fic i’m kinda proud of. i hope you all enjoy it as much as i did writing it <3

PLEASE REBLOG/COMMENT IF YOU ENJOYED THIS FIC 🫶

Sunghoon was reading over some papers pertaining to the kingdom’s matters when he heard a knock on the door.

“Enter.”

One of the guards came in, before bowing upon seeing him.

“Sire, his Majesty wishes to see you.”

He nodded and set the papers in a neat stack. He then put them in a drawer and locked it for security. He then stood up and followed the guard, maintaining a neutral expression.

His mind was working much faster than normal though.

His father was very strict, and the slightest mistake meant an extremely harsh lecture. He flicked through his memories, trying to remember what he could have done wrong, and what he should say as his apology.

He pursed his lips as a thought crossed his mind - was his recent trip to the colder regions made known to his father? He had gone for administrative work, but he couldn’t resist spending some time there ice skating, which the king always considered useless since it benefited only the person skating, not the country. He had done his best to keep it under wraps, but maybe one of the guards reported this to the king. Damn it.

He mentally slapped himself for using such crude language. Those were the words of peasants and did not suit a prince like him. Holy moly…buckling barnacles, great heavens…such lengthy words to express frustration, he thought. ‘Damn it’ was only two syllables.

As he snapped out of his reverie, he entered the Throne Room. His father was seated on the grand throne at the end of the airy space. The seats where the ministers sat were empty. Court was always in the morning, and it was probably lunchtime by now - the prince wasn’t sure.

He stood a few feet away from his father. The guard bowed and left, and Sunghoon made eye contact with the old man in front of him. He didn’t seem angry, so the younger relaxed a bit, letting out a sigh.

“Why have you called me here, father?”

“I’ve received some proposals from other kings. They’ve sent me paintings of their daughters. A lovely selection of princesses, I must say.”

Sunghoon had to physically hold himself back from rolling his eyes.

“Father, I’ve already told you this. I am not ready for marriage and I am not interested in this topic.”

“Yes, but it’s good to start early. Maybe you’ll change your mind after-”

“I’m sorry to interrupt you Father, but why have you actually summoned me?”

The king narrowed his eyes at his son but didn’t say anything more about the topic.

“Well, I’ve decided to get you a personal guard. There have been many threats of attacks on the palace, so it’s better to take this precaution.”

“Interesting. Will he be with me all the time or-”

“She.”

“What?”

“Your guard is a female.”

To say he was shocked was the understatement of the century. His father? Hiring a woman? As his bodyguard? What if he-

“Are you serious?” “Yes. She is very capable and I’m sure she will protect and serve you well. I trust you to keep your relationship with her strictly professional.”

It wasn’t like he knew how to have a non-professional relationship with anyone outside of his family anyway.

“Yes, Father. Will she be with me at all times?”

“Indeed she will, except for when you are sleeping. At that time, she will stand outside your door and guard you.” “What about her food and sleep?”

“That is not your concern.”

“But-”

“Silence!”

He immediately bowed his head slightly as a sign of remorse for stepping out of line. This was going to be interesting, he thought. He had little to no interaction with women outside of his mother and sister, and the small talk he made with princesses and duchesses of other kingdoms was always awkward. Now he was having someone of the opposite gender, a woman, watching over him nearly 24/7.

He slowed down his train of thought. Why was he thinking like a teenage boy ogling over a girl? He was the crown prince, he was better than that. It was going to be a new experience, that was all.

“May I meet her now?”

“Of course. She’s arriving as we speak.”

Just then, the door opened, and you entered, a male soldier on either side. Sunghoon’s mouth opened and closed like a fish, but nothing came out of it.

He was having a cultural shock of sorts. All the women he had met were all dainty, graceful and poised - the epitome of perfection. You, on the other hand, had an air of authority about you — rough and firm. A few scars were on your face, probably from battle. You bowed the full 90 degrees, and he could only respond with a small nod.

Oh fuck, you were gorgeous.

And he used foul language again. Stupid Sunghoon, he reprimanded himself.

He didn’t take back what he said, however. Your beauty wasn’t the type written in books or sung in ballads, but it had to be known to the world, somehow. He was almost tempted to write one himself.

Hold on, why was he thinking all this? His father had just told him to not think anything about you that crossed the lines of professional, and thinking about how pretty you were was not within those lines.

“This is your new personal guard, Y/N.”

You came over to him and bowed again, although at a smaller angle than before.

“N…Nice to meet you, Y-Y/N.”

Did he just stutter?!

“It is an honor, my prince. I swear to serve you to the best of my abilities.”

“I’m sure you will.”

He managed a small, formal smile, looking completely pleasant and unfazed.

Which he very much was not. He wanted to jump off the nearest balcony when you said ‘my prince’. He didn’t know why - you weren’t the only one who addressed him in that manner. You might’ve even learned it from someone in the palace, so why was he so hot and bothered with the way you said it?

“Your duties start today, guard.”

“Yes, your Majesty. I will not let you down.”

He was going crazy. You were just his new guard. Nothing less, nothing more. He would just have to rein in his thoughts and get it all together. Not a difficult task at all.

As you stood behind him as he walked through the kingdom’s streets a week later, he seemed to keep a little distance from you, which was unsafe. Anything could happen within a few meters.

“My prince, you must slow your pace.”

He turned his face to look at you as he stopped walking.

“Oh? Why is that?”

“There’s a gap between us, and anyone could attack you with that.”

“Ah. I see. In that case…you can walk next to me. Or something.”

You stood next to him now. He quickly looked at the fruits a vendor was selling, trying his best to avert his gaze so that you wouldn’t see his reddening cheeks. It was unknown to him as to why he was so flustered. You were only doing your job, and that was it.

“Our kingdom seems to produce good crops.”

“Indeed they do, my prince. The farmer and the cultivators work very hard. It always seems to go unnoticed for some damn reason, though.”

He heard the angry tone in your voice and the curse word you said. This seemed to be a sore topic for you. He was curious, so he decided to ask more.

“What do you suggest, then?”

“We export more crops so that they get more revenue and in turn, they get paid as well. Increase the demand.”

You shrugged before turning your attention to a little kid who was clinging to your leg. You leaned down and patted his head, smiling a bit. The kid laughed and ran away. Sunghoon watched this interaction with interest and it dawned upon him that you cared about the people and their welfare, like a good ruler.

Wait, why was he thinking about you being a ruler? You were only a soldier, and with the hierarchy now, there wasn’t much chance you could become more.

It did make him wonder, however, what you would do if the people rebelled. He shook his head, not wanting to think so dark. Your suggestion was smart, though. It made more sense the more he pondered over it. He’d mention this to the old man and see what he’d say.

“Shall we move on, guard?”

You stood up properly before nodding.

“Yes, my prince. Apologies for slowing you down.”

He dismissed you with a wave of his hand.

“Nothing of the sort. Come, let’s go.”

You both continued your stroll and for some reason, his heart was beating very unnaturally. He only had this issue when he was agitated, but there was no reason for him to be scared now, so why was this happening?

It had only been two months since you became his personal guard, yet you were his closest and most trusted friend. He took all your ideas seriously and told them to the king who somehow accepted them, and called him ‘ingenious’ for supposedly coming up with them. He hated taking false credit, but he knew that he couldn’t tell his father that you were the mastermind of them all — he would then question Sunghoon as to why he was talking to them in the first place, which would lead to you being removed from your post and replaced with a boring male soldier.

He didn’t want to lose you, not when he finally found a change in his monotonous life, someone to brighten his dull days, someone to call a friend, even though it was only known to the both of you and no one else. He couldn’t bear to have you gone.

He was sitting underneath a tree, looking up at the sky in the comfort of the gardens reserved for his family and visitors alone. His father never came here out of his own accord - he always considered it a waste of time. His mother was in her room, and her sister was in another kingdom discussing alliances. This was a moment very rare, just you and him, with no one to interrupt or catch you two slacking.

You were sitting next to him, only a few inches away. The wind was blowing gently on his face. He closed his eyes and smiled, inhaling and exhaling deeply. Your presence next to him was oddly comforting. He opened his eyes again, turned his head, and looked at you, wanting to ask you something.

“Guard, you know how I always give your suggestions to the king and how he always says ‘I’ did a good job thinking about them?”

Your face tightened the same way it did every time he took credit for your ideas in front of his father. He sighed.

“Yes, I do.”

“Well, I wanted to apologize for that.”

You tilted your head at him, clearly not understanding two things - why he was suddenly saying sorry, and how you doing that simple thing made him go insane. You took over him, body and soul. All he could think of when he tried to sleep was you. It was just two months. Two months, and he was already attached to you. He was convinced, however, that it wasn’t love or anything stupid like that. No, it was simply him forming a close connection to the first person who cared about him. Not everything was romantic affection. He had never tasted this emotion, obviously, but he’d say that he knew enough about it to confirm this wasn’t it.

“Why now, my prince? I’m sorry- I just didn’t expect you to, y’know…actually apologize. Never met a royal who’s done so. They’re all usually stuck-up snobs who think their shit is worth the entire kingdom.”

He snorted at that. It wasn’t like you were wrong, most of the royals he met were indeed very arrogant. He didn’t dare anything about it though, simply doing his best to not behave like them.

“It’s not right of me to take credit for something I don’t even have the brain for. I don’t mention your name for your security. If my father knew I was talking to you about matters like these, then…”

He made a motion of him cutting his own throat, complete with the sound effect. You grinned a bit, which was enough for him to be over the moon, but then you laughed. Not just a ‘teehee’ or a ‘haha’ - an actual, proper laugh. His heart swelled, maybe his jokes didn’t suck that much. Your laugh was indescribable. It was a delightful sound to listen to. It was short, but he wanted to hear it every day at least once for the rest of his life instead of those ballads that were sung in the court all the time.

The way your eyes formed crescents, the way your face was half in the light and half in the shadow, the way the wind put an orange leaf in your hair like it was an accessory - it was making him sick in a good way. He rarely saw you smile, let alone laugh like this. He knew that you had to keep your expression serious all the time - all the soldiers had that training - and this was a proud moment for him to see you loosen up. He couldn’t help the small smile on his own face.

“My prince, is he really that harsh? I’m aware that he is super damn strict to us soldiers, but that’s expected since we have to be toughened up to protect the land.”

His smile faded before he shook his head in agreement.

“I’d say so. It’s for my good- I am the next in line, after all.”

“I don’t think forcing your child to have no friends is how you raise him to be king. He won’t know how to have proper social interactions.”

There you were again, hitting the mark accurately with your observation. He sucked at interacting with other people. Slowly, he was starting to dislike his father more. The faults he never saw in him earlier were becoming visible, the saint-like image he had of the king since childhood fading away. Was this meant to happen? He wasn’t sure.

“Right. I’m living proof.”

You shook your head in alarm.

“Oh shit- please don’t be offended by my idiotic statement, my prince…I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, really-”

He chuckled at how you were panicking and made a motion with his hand for you to calm down.

“It’s okay. I didn’t take it that way.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

He saw your body relax as he rested his head against the bark of the tree again. He gazed at the sky, eyes fixated on the clouds and the way they moved in the direction of the breeze. Two questions lingered in his mind, and his mouth suddenly blurted one out.

“Do you ever sleep?”

It was random, sure, but he had to know. He was concerned for you. He never saw you leave his side, except for when he was asleep, and he already knew what you did then. You were still staring at him, but he didn’t notice.

“I do. I’m a normal person, my prince, I can’t function without food and rest. That’s impossible.”

“When?”

You let out a slight laugh at his curiosity, and his heart started pounding faster again.

“You don’t notice, do you? That means I’m performing the stealth part of my job well. When you’re in the dining room or a meeting surrounded by the best soldiers. That’s when. I also don’t stand watch for you every night. I alternate with another guard.”

His mouth formed an ‘o’ shape in understanding. He didn’t notice it at all, which meant that either you were a master of stealth, as you said, or he was just blind. It was most likely the former since he had no doubt in your abilities.

“I see. I was very worried for you, honestly.”

“I’m honored that I was an object of your concern, my prince.”

He scoffed at your slightly surprised expression.

“Of course, I would. You’re my personal guard, what reason is there for me to treat you inhumanly?”

That stupid fucking slip of his tongue.

Shit, he just cursed.

Damn it, again.

His tutor and family would go crazy if they could read his thoughts.

Of course he had to refer to you as his, like you were property. Of course he had to emphasize on that word as well. You were making him loosen up too much. It shouldn’t have happened, not at all. He couldn’t continue like this, what if he accidentally cursed in front of people? He would never be heard of again.

“I’d say I had expected that, but you’re different from other royals, so not really.”

“I understand. Also, you don’t have to call me ‘my prince’ when we’re alone. Just Sunghoon is enough.”

Your eyes widened in astonishment.

“My prince, I wouldn’t dare to-”

“Really guard. It’s fine.”

“But his Majesty-”

“He doesn’t have to know. Our secret.”

“If you say so…it’ll take me time to get used to calling you by your name, princ- I mean, Sunghoon.”

“Already getting there.”

“I guess so. In that case, you can call me by just my name. No need for ‘guard’.”

“Your wish is my command, Y/N.”

This was new. Not referring to someone by their title was disrespectful. He learned from a ripe young age that if he didn’t call someone by their title, he could end up with his head on a guillotine block in some places. Were you seriously making all his long years of education unravel? Silence fell upon the two of you before he spoke up again.

“What do you think love is like?”

You must’ve been taken aback, and he expected to see such an expression on your face. Instead, when he stole a glance at you, it was something else. Wistful? Longing? He couldn’t name it exactly.

“Books don’t give it justice. Neither do ballads. It’s…more than that.”

He was intrigued by your response. He raised an eyebrow, signalling you to continue.

“Oh? You’ve been in love before?”

You stared at him, a sad smile forming on your lips, a look flashing in your eyes. One of remorse, he recognized.

“Yeah. It was depressingly…beautiful.”

His chest tightened at your words for some reason.

“Heartbreak?”

“Kind of. We fought a lot…our personalities were very different. Then when we finally reconciled…he died. An illness took him away.”

Your eyes were filled with so much hurt, it almost made him cry. This was his first time seeing you emotional, vulnerable, and while he was honored that you trusted him enough to show you this side of yours, he wondered how much you were hiding away. All he wanted was to protect you so that you would never have to go through something as painful as that. He made a resolve to make sure that he was never the cause of the agony in your eyes.

“I’m so sorry that happened.”

“It’s fine. It was just- unexpected. It’s been a year anyway.”

“I hope this doesn’t bring back memories you buried, but…how would you describe love?”

You rested your chin on your palm, thinking for a bit.

“Love isn’t only about the physical signs. For me, love is always wanting to be by someone’s side, being so head over heels for them that even the littlest things like…I don’t know, something stupid, makes you remember them. It’s being their biggest supporter, but also telling them when they’re wrong. Love is wanting to keep them safe from all the bad in this world. It’s when even the simplest thing they do brightens your day, like a smile or a small act of kindness. Love is when you put their needs and wants above everything and everyone else. There’s obviously more, but that’s my personal experience.”

Holy moly. Sunghoon was in love.

He was in love. That emotion many desired to feel at least once. All his previous notions and confidence about it being platonic flew out the window. He very clearly did not learn enough about this feeling. He didn’t know whether he wanted to be happy that he could say he had loved once in his life, or scream in frustration that he fell for someone out of his league and not some princess who he was supposed to want like this.

God, he hated himself.

“Pri- Sunghoon, are you okay?”

Your voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He couldn’t let you know, he was a hundred percent sure that you didn’t feel the same. Plus, he was the prince, and if you both were caught, it would mean bad for him and catastrophic for you.

“I’m fine. Come, let’s go. We might get caught if we stay any longer.”

He stood up immediately. You were confused but followed his orders. What he said, you obeyed.

It had been eight months since you became his personal guard, and half a year since he realized that he was in love with you. He tried to distance himself, but one look or word from you and his resolve faltered. He was so deep in this pit, and he didn’t know whether he wanted to dig deeper or climb out. He wanted you to stay away and he also loved the way you destroyed every single one of the walls he built around himself subconsciously.

He matured, and he was no longer the shy boy who didn’t know how to talk to someone of the opposite gender. He was a confident and charming crown prince now, the man of many’s dreams. You were the only one on his mind though.

His father was now eager to get him married off, and he had to comply with his wishes, He was no longer the king who served the people anymore - he was corrupted, only thinking about power. Sunghoon did his best to undo the damage inflicted on the population, but the situation was getting tense, and he knew it. Rebels were raising their heads and it was his job to keep them in check. It was difficult, but you helped him through it.

Presently, he was sitting in the dining room with his family, the king, queen, princess, and officials of the Hwan kingdom. This was the proposal his father liked the most because the Hwan kingdom was rich in resources, and this alliance hidden as a marriage would give the Parks access to those coveted precious stones. He was hoping, however, that the other king would say no for some reason and he’d be free.

He had no interest in the princess, however. She was too boring for him. They had zero common likes, and the only thing they related to each other on was the struggles of being next in line. This was probably the worst match he had ever met. She seemed like she wanted this much less than he did. She was at least trying, he had to give her that.

You stood behind him on his right side. He so desperately wanted to turn around and see your reaction to all this. Your face had to have no expression now, obviously, but you both shared secret looks with each other in odd situations, and he was sure you’d find this amusing. The chatter across the table died down suddenly, and all the attention was on the two kings in the room.

“We’ve agreed on this marriage. Prince Sunghoon and Princess Hyeju are now betrothed!”

Sunghoon’s hands, which were tapping the table, stilled. He froze in shock, every voluntary muscle in his body stopping movement.

No, this couldn’t happen.

This was a nightmare, a terrible dream. He pinched his thigh underneath the table and ended up proving to his dismay that he was wrong.

This was the worst day of his life.

His father droned on about the details of the wedding. He tuned it all out. He tilted his head just a little to see your face and noticed that you were gripping your spear much tighter than necessary. You knew that he didn’t want this, not at all. Maybe you were angry on his behalf.

He couldn’t do anything about this, however. This was just his fate, and he resigned to it immediately.

The meeting ended, and everyone, including Sunghoon, stood up and exited the room. You followed him as he went straight to the gardens to clear his head. His family would be occupied with entertaining the guests and making more plans, so it was just you and him. Again.

He sat in his usual spot underneath the same tree. He buried his face in his hands, frustrated. He heard the sound of you sitting down next to him, before feeling your hand lightly grip his shoulder.

“Hey, Sunghoon?”

“You don’t have to say anything. It’s fine.”

“I know how much you don’t want this. Trust me, I don’t want it either.”

The second sentence was uttered in a more quiet voice, and he moved his hands away from his face to look at you in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

Your lips formed a thin line, your body language making it clear that you were saying this with hesitation.

“I don’t want you to marry her.”

You removed your hand from his shoulder. You looked down at the grass, fresh and green from the new spring season.

“Why? I mean- other than me not wanting it personally, there’s no reason you should hate it…this is an amazing opportunity for the people and the kingdom! We will prosper-”

“Fuck the people and the kingdom- I want you, dumbass.”

His eyes widened, and his jaw dropped.

“What…do you mean.”

“I love you really badly. That’s what I mean.”

He couldn’t believe it. You, the very person he always desired desperately, his forbidden fruit, loved him back? Wanted him? This wasn’t real. He must’ve been knocked out after the marriage announcement and slipped into a pleasant dream.

“I don’t believe you.”

“You want me to prove it?”

“Yes.”

He didn’t know what to expect, but you grabbing his face and crashing your lips on his was the farthest from his vague idea of what might happen.

It lasted for a few seconds before you pulled away suddenly. You noticed his dazed expression and started to panic.

“Shit, shouldn’t have done that, please don’t kill me, I-”

Your voice snapped him out of his haze before he placed his hand on your waist and pulled you in for another kiss. His hand tucked one strand of hair behind your ear and you melted into the action, calming down instantly. He was so gentle, so careful, he was holding you like you were a delicate object that was to be treated with utmost care at all times. When you both parted, his face wore a lovesick smile, his eyes sparkling like stars.

“I feel the same.”

“Yeah, it was obvious.”

He chuckled at your comment, before frowning.

“You know this is dangerous, right? We shouldn’t be doing this.”

Your shoulders slumped at his words, knowing that he was completely correct.

“I do. I’m sorry for dragging you into this mess. I just didn’t…know how to tell you.”

He shook his head. To him, you could do no wrong. It was his fault. He should have gotten rid of you so that he could nip the blooming flower in his heart from the bud. He shouldn’t have been such a coward.

“I understand what you mean now. I don’t know how to stop it, though.”

“That’s…fine. Just knowing you feel the same is enough for me.”

It wasn’t. Neither for you, neither for him, and you both knew that. The fact that he couldn’t be yours and you couldn’t be his simply because of both of your duties was like a nasty, sharp torn ledged in the soft flesh of his heart. You and him were not meant to be. Your romance was only a fantasy, to be never fulfilled.

“Precisely. This is all it’ll ever be.”

It was night. He had one week until his wedding with the Hwan princess, and he was dreading it. Seeing your face became unbearable for him sometimes — you reminded him that he had everything a commoner could only dream of, but even the poorest of poor could love and he couldn’t. He was ready to throw his entire life away and disappear with you, but his fear of what would happen next to the country held him back.

He stared out the window in his bedroom which gave him a perfect view of the private gardens. The place where it all started and ended. The moonlight shone on the trees and flowers, giving it a peaceful aura, different from the cheery one it had in the daytime. Even in the comfort of his silk night clothes and soft blankets, he was in a state of unrest. He wanted to run, wanted to be free, wanted, wanted, wanted. He lay down, resting his head on his pillow as he waited for sleep to find him while he closed his eyes. Thankfully, the night was kind to him, and he dozed off almost instantly.

Sunghoon was rudely woken up by you frantically shaking his figure, pleading with you to wake up. When he came to his senses, he heard alarms sounding in the palace and immediately understood that it was an emergency, although what might’ve exactly happened was beyond him.

“Y/N, Y/N, I’m up. What’s going on?”

He sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes and slapping his face for good measure.

“Rebels. Come, we need to run.”

The first word was enough for him to be fully alert. He foresaw them coming, so it wasn’t a big shocker for him. He put on his slippers and looked at you with determination. He was actually trying to mask his fear, but you didn’t need to know that. You grabbed his arm and ran out of the room. He was a bit startled at your speed at first, but quickly matched your pace. When you both reached a corridor, you slowed down, wanting to be careful of surprise attacks.

“Hide your face to the best of your ability. I’m not sure if they’ll recognize you in non-prince clothes, but it’s better to be safe. They’ll aim for me instead since I have the palace uniform.”

His chest tightened. You were ready to give up your life for his. He knew that was protocol for all soldiers - royals over their own lives. He knew, but you were different. He didn’t want you to die, he couldn’t imagine a life without you. You were his oxygen, he’d suffocate if you were gone.

Suddenly, he noticed a flash of light. He heard a whoosh and he saw the way your hair moved in the direction of the sound. He assumed it was a gust of air along with the lights of the palace shining weirdly, but then he looked at the wall in front of him and realized what it was - an arrow. It was embedded in said wall, and you had missed it by a hair’s breath. Literally. It had scratched your face, but other than that, you were fine.

You pulled him down to remain on the floor, before you stood up and ran to the rebel that shot it, your hands gripping your sword tight. You engaged in combat with her. She was rather buff, and even though she only had a bow and an arrow holder on her, she was slowly gaining ground in the fight. She was blocking your thrusts with her bow, catching your moves with its string. She landed a harsh blow on your chest, and he gritted his teeth seeing your sharp flinch. He had to do something and fast.

He crawl-walked across the floor, making sure to stay unnoticed. He moved to stand behind the rebel before forcefully grabbing her neck. She was gagged, and the sudden lack of air caught her off guard. You took the opportunity and struck her in the heart, and he let go of her.

You both ran off, eager to get to the safe room specially built for situations like this. Barely some distance away, he raised his head, neck aching from the constant strain, when you suddenly pushed him to the ground and covered his mouth with your hand. He was about to protest, feeling kind of hot and bothered with his position, but then he decided against it. You definitely did this for a reason, and he could repress his feelings for a while.

Your head turned as you stared at a rebel passing by, praying he wouldn’t notice you both. He was blind to your movement thankfully, and as soon as he left, you got off of Sunghoon, pulled him up, and ran. You pushed the door of the safe room which was behind a cupboard open with your shoulder, and he then realized that he was the first one to reach. The door closed, and he glanced at you, relief and gratitude clear in his eyes.

You gave him a thumbs up and turned to leave to assist the other soldiers with getting the rest of his family to the room when he suddenly grabbed your wrist. You looked at him with confusion, and you opened your mouth to ask him what he was doing when he placed his lips on yours. You let out a soft gasp when he held you closer, one arm around your waist, the other hand on your back, holding you close. This wasn’t like the last time you kissed — this was desperate, filled with emotion. He let go of you too soon, eyes shining with tears.

You both knew that there was a chance you wouldn’t come back to him, and this could be the last time he saw you.

You squeezed his hand in an attempt to reassure him. He just nodded at the door, knowing that you had your duty. You bowed and left as he watched you in fear, praying that you’d make it.

After the attack by the rebels, there were always new questions about the palace’s security floating around. Quite a few lives were lost. None of them were you or his family, but Sunghoon still grieved for them mentally. He couldn’t imagine the agony their families must’ve been going through, and he managed to convince his father to give all the deceased’s close relatives compensation.

The wedding was called off for now, much to his delight and his father’s despair. The old man had accused him of doing something to sabotage it, but he had grown a thicker skin, thanks to you. All efforts were now being put into strengthening the forces of the kingdom, and the actual matters of state were being ignored. This would lead to more rebellion, but his father didn’t seem to care. At this rate, he could die if he stepped out of the palace grounds — the people hated him that much. Sunghoon was already preparing to become the next ruler since that future would become a reality pretty soon.

A surprise attack was inevitable, but he didn’t expect the aggressor to be the damn Hwan kingdom.

They must’ve heard about the damage inflicted on the palace from spies and knew that the Park kingdom would be focusing its efforts on repairing it, thus taking advantage of the situation. It was smart of king Hwan, Sunghoon would give him that.

He rode his horse while inspecting the soldiers preparing for battle. None of them were properly ready for this. Many veteran soldiers were on break and were called back suddenly. They all did come, and he was grateful to them for that, even when they had the right to refuse. The troops were arranging their positions quickly, and a little bit of his anxiety relaxed. Their army was strong, they could face this.

As he rode back, he saw his father, who was seething with rage at being betrayed, Sunghoon’s brain was in overdrive. Many of these brave soldiers would sacrifice their body and soul for a stupid fight that wouldn’t bring much to the land that could have been easily prevented. He knew it would happen, but didn’t do anything that was enough to fix it. He couldn’t keep falling short of what was necessary, that wasn’t what a future king would do.

Not wanting to talk to the old man, he rode a little further where you were on your own horse, surveying the battlefield. He relaxed a bit more upon seeing you and moved to be next to you.

“This will be a tough fight, Sunghoon.”

“I hope it remains a fight that ends today and not a war that stretches over days.”

“Where we are victorious.”

“Obviously.”

“My- Sunghoon, what will you do in case your father…is killed?”

The slip-up and the way ‘my Sunghoon’ rolled off your tongue so perfectly made him miss your actual question for a moment. He let out a soft giggle, before manning up to think. He hadn’t considered that possibility at all. If that happened, then he would automatically become the next king. He’d rule the land and hopefully lead better than the previous king and his reign would be peaceful. He’d make sure of that.

“Be the next ruler, of course. I’d promote you to my personal advisor.”

You cracked a small smile at that.

“Not enough brain. Plus, what if I don’t make it?”

“Won’t happen. You’re too sexy to die. Your abilities are top tier too, you’ll survive.”

You laughed now, and he smiled fully at you. This was a situation unheard of — right before a whole battle, he was here flirting with you and laughing. So very serious.

He leaned his head closer to yours, hair falling over his eyes. They were pleading silently with you to steal one last kiss, one last secret gesture of love before you both left to fight, one last chance to hold you. You shortened the gap, about to comply, when the war horn sounded, signaling the start of the battle. He frowned, angry at the lost chance, but quickly kissed your forehead. You pecked his cheek in return, before putting on your helmet and riding off.

The sound of hooves hitting the ground and the sight of dust flying from them brought him back into the moment, and he rode in the same direction as his own army, intending to lead the fight. His father was weak and made dumb decisions, so it was up to him. He moved directly to the frontlines, pulling out his sword from its hilt as an enemy soldier charged at him. He fought with ease, and soon a dead body was on the ground.

He should have been desensitized now upon seeing gore and corpses, but it still disgusted him. He gritted his teeth and averted his gaze as he parried with more enemies. Soldiers were dropping left and right from both sides. Blood splatters were on his own face from fighting so fiercely. It was a miracle that he was still standing with only minor injuries, the Hwan soldiers were vigorous.

Time was passing quickly, although for him it felt like an eternity. He just wanted to go back after all this ended. He didn’t care if he had to marry the Hwan princess, all he wanted was for this bloodshed to end. The sound of arrows being shot, horses neighing, grunts of hurt and dying soldiers — it was all too much for him.

All of a sudden, a more experienced soldier was attacking him, he could tell by the moves. His entire focus was on fighting back because this guy could actually kill him, that much was clear. He didn’t notice the other soldier charging towards him from his left with a spear until he heard a clang.

His eyes darted in the direction of the sound for a second, only to see you had blocked the attack and thrown the soldier off his horse. He was impressed and inspired by you, and with renewed strength, he killed the veteran. He gave you a thumbs up, before looking to his right as someone else ran to replace the deceased soldier. He was ready to fight that person and everyone else with you and for you.

Then, tragedy struck.

An arrow was heading in his direction. Occupied with the current fight he was in, Sunghoon was in no position to dodge it, and you took the blow. Pushing his horse with your own, the arrow lodged in your chest instead. The only reason he noticed it was because of the sound of pain you made. He finished off the man fighting him, and then turned his head to look at you. Your head was drooping slightly and your grip on the reins of your horse had faltered.

No, no, no, this can’t happen!

You were supposed to stay with him, you were supposed to be by his side forever, he was supposed to get more chances to love you, even in secret, not just lose you like this.

He immediately shoved his sword back in its hilt before grabbing your torso to steady you. You were very faintly there, you just had to keep going a bit more for him, and he knew you could.

“Y/N, hold on, okay? Don’t close your eyes, please.”

“Try…ing.”

Fuck, your voice was so weak, you really were trying. He’d end your suffering soon, he promised silently.

Coincidentally, the war horn sounded once more, signifying the end of the battle. It was his kingdom’s, which meant he had won, just like you wanted.

But you weren’t conscious enough to realize it.

He promptly sat you on his horse in front of him, one arm around your waist holding you close and tight. He galloped fast to the palace medic, the best one in the entire region. He ignored the weird looks and the shouts of his name, traveling with urgency. He had to move fast for your sake, and also for his own. He’d lose his shit if you…no. You weren’t going to, he was sure of it.

“Try to not focus on the pain, we’re almost there.”

That was stupid advice, but he had to say something, anything to save him.

“This doctor will fix you up, I swear. Just- don’t give up yet, Y/N. I beg of you. It’s all I’ll ask for this badly from you.”

Your head was now tilted back, and it rested on his right shoulder. You opened your eyes slightly to look at him, which he took as a good sign.

Then you spoke.

“I won’t…won’t make it. It’s…no point…denying it…my…Hoon, I…love you.”

At your words, Sunghoon’s lips formed a thin line as he squeezed his eyes shut for a few seconds to force his tears to stay back. He could feel the blood running from your wound and collecting onto the sleeve of his suit, but he refused to accept it. You would make it, you couldn’t die.

“Shut-Shut up. You’re not dying, not when I’m here. Look, we’ve reached- you’ll be okay, I swear.”

He got off the horse, your limp body in his arms bridal style.

He wished he could be holding you like this in a different, more happier situation.

The doctor rushed out of her house and knew that it was urgent upon seeing the prince at her door. She took you in and he waited outside, pacing around nervously. He was so certain you’d survive, but the wound could be a major setback for the rest of your life. He’d have to make adjustments to accommodate you at the palace. He wouldn’t mind though, it was for you after all.

The doctor came out after a few minutes, and he waited for her to say something along the lines of ‘she survived, but ___’. Not to see her shake her head with a soft sigh.

“I’m sorry. She didn’t make it. She was gone when you came here. We tried our best, but…the arrow was poison tipped, which reduced her chances of surviving to zero.”

No. No no no no no. This lady was old and wrinkling, she was probably cuckoo and playing an unfunny prank on him.

“Can I see her? Alone?”

“Of course, sire.”

He rushed inside immediately, expecting to see you on the bed bandaged up and smiling at how well the prank worked on him-

She was right. You really were gone. You took your last breath in his arms. Your arms rested limply by your sides. The arrow was removed, but the blood stains were on your armor as evidence that the fatal injury did indeed happen. Useful reminder for a delusional ass like his. Your helmet was off your head now.

He sat down on a chair next to your bed and held one of your hands gingerly. It was already turning cold, and he hated it. He felt freshly made cuts and bruises along with older scars on your palm. His gaze fell on your face. The scratch you got from the rebel’s ambush was still partially healing. He took in your features with intense concentration, engraving them in his memory. He despised the fact that you looked so much at peace right now – when you just left his entire life in turmoil. He needed so badly to shake you back to life or something, but he knew that there was no point now. He lifted your hand up to his lips, kissing it in a tender manner, a weak replacement for the one you both missed maybe an hour or two before.

Just when he let go of your hand, the doctor rushed in with news.

“Sire, his majesty has passed away due to a…similar poisonous arrow shortly after victory.”

Both the people he knew wanted to win the most were dead just after it happened. Ironic, he thought - this was worthless now.

King Sunghoon walked through the cemetery for soldiers who had sacrificed their lives for the country. He stopped right in front of one which had many flower bouquets, a lot of them from his own previous visits, all of them your favorite flowers. He got on his knees on the right side of your gravestone, head bowed in respect and hands folded in his lap.

“Hello, Y/N. I know I’ve come to see you many times before, but I can’t help it. I miss you so much. You left too soon. I still believe that I should have taken that arrow instead of you…although it was for the better in hindsight. At least your last memory was of me and your pain ended quickly.”

Silence. He quickly wiped his eyes.

“I love you, Y/N. I still do, so much. I should move on by now, but it’s hard. Not when you meant so much to me, not when you changed me. A little for the worse, mostly for the better.”

He laughed dryly, looking at his hands. An expensive ring gleamed on his ring finger.

“I married a queen who I liked a lot. Not the Hwan princess, although she and I keep in touch often. We’re allies now. Kind of ironic, since I lost you and the old man in a war against that same kingdom’s old ruler.”

He wasn’t willing to let himself break, what if someone walked in on him sobbing over a dead soldier's grave? What would they think? He poked his eyes with his fingers, still in misery. No matter how much he tried, everything in his brain led back to you. While he didn’t want you to fade or leave his mind exactly, you were only meant to be a guest, visiting occasionally, not a permanent resident, not someone he still needed. When he calmed down, he quietly lifted his crown off his head and put it on top of your gravestone. He placed a solemn hand on it, closing his eyes. “This is a love stained crown, tainted with you and I, along with all our memories. Your affection will never wash away, no matter how much I try. I miss you and I love you, and I hope you’re doing better, wherever you are.”

#mallow’s works #mallow’s oneshots #divider by fairytopea #enhypen #enhypen x reader #enhypen royal au #enhypen angst #sungoon #park sunghoon #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon angst #sunghoon royal au #enhypen fic #sunghoon fic #sunghoon prince au #sunghoon enhypen #kflixnet

134 notes · View notes

asimpwithfreetime · 1 year

Text

Taking the bullet for Neteyam (Platonic! Yandere! Sully Family x fem! Sully! Reader)

Content warnings: not proofread, English isn’t my first language. I know Quaritch didn’t directly shoot Neteyam but hear me out!

General warnings: yandere behavior, mayor character death, Y/n’s death, the sullys loosing their mind, gore, explicit violence and body horror, explicit descriptions of the death scene

Summary: The Sully’s going completely crazy because of your death.

Author’s note: as the reader is younger than everyone except Tuk, she has cute nicknames for them (Neteyam = ‘Teyam) (Lo’ak = Lo) (Kiri= Kiki).

[ 3rd Person POV ]

The battle was starting to get complicated once they captured Tuk, Kiri and Y/n. Lo’ak, Tsireya, Neteyam and Spider came to their rescue. The recoms, RDA members and the rest were being fought of by the metkayinas and the sullys. Tuk screamed in glee at the sight of her older brothers. “There are here!”.

Sadly, that alerted Quaritch as well. “Well, we’ll, which of you is Jake’s favorite possessions?” He spoke in a husky voice. Kiri’s eyes unintentionally turned to Y/n for a split of a second, that was long enough for the Colonel to catch up.

“So you are his favorite, huh?” He laughed, untying her and pulling her towards him. “You’ll be the bait” he spoke smugly, earning a high hiss from Kiri and Tuk.

“DON’T TOUCH HER!” Neteyam screamed and hiss as he threw a piece of metal gear that hit Quaritch in the back of the head, making Y/n fall out of his grasp.

While Spider, Tsireya and Lo’ak freed Kiri and Tuk, Y/n escaped Quaritch. Neteyam was fighting off human soldiers, all the Sullys weren’t holding back, protecting their little sister.

Quaritch fell to the floor, his gun and different weapons scattering all over the floor. “You ain’t going away that easily!” He roared, aiming to Neteyam. Y/n felt uneasy, pushing her older brother to the side to avoid it. The bang of the gun was heard, making their blood run cold. But Y/n coughed as her legs gave in. Neteyam and Lo’ak were quick to catch her.

“No, no, no” Neteyam started crying as they all escaped and called their ilus to run away. “I should have taken the bullet, not you!” He cried.

As blood stained the Chrystal-like waters, tears were about to fall out of the Sully siblings’s eyes. Tsireya and Spider were long forgotten for them. The only thing right now was patching Y/n up.

As if they had a natural instinct, Jake and Neytiri knew something was off. They went as fast as they could in her ikran and skimwing. Jake started roaring blasphemies as soon as he saw his babygirl loosing so much blood while she convulsed in the rock.

“Ma Jake , she won’t stop bleeding!” Neytiri screamed as she held her daughter close and tried to put pressure on the bullet while. Jake moved his daughter seeing that the bullet had completely pierced her. She was going to die.

Her breathing was uneven as tears fell down her face “Mom, Dad, ‘Teyam, Lo, Kiki, Tuk” she breathlessly whispered every name. Her hand caressing her eldest brother’s face as she became weaker. “I love you all, you have always been by my side and I am grateful to Eywa to have lived….” She took a breath, almost loosing consciousness “here with you, thank you for being my family” she smiled before life drained from her peaceful expression.

Neytiri led out a painful screech full of grief. She held her daughter’s lifeless body to herself, praying for Eywa to bring her back. Jake cried silently, holding both of them with his eyes closed. Neteyam placed his head by his mother’s shoulder, moving slightly as both of them whimpered and sniffed loudly with pain. Lo’ak was hugging his father, something surprising. He hugged his father’s back while mumbling “I am sorry” and “I could have saved her” as a mantra.

In fact, both sully brother were. They felt guilty. Kiri held Tuk as the infant cried uncontrollably and she tried to calm her down with her own shrieks and low whimpers. All of them ended up curled against Y/n’s body, feeling as the coldness was soon taking over her. Neytiri’s whimpers soon turned into low growls. “He will pay” she said. “I will take everything from him”. Despair and pain clouded her vision.

Someone should have stopped her suicidal plan, but all of them were clouded by the same feeling. Leaving Spider, Tsireya, Tuk and Y/n’s corpse behind, Neytiri, Jake, Neteyam, Lo’ak and Kiri went towards the sinking boat in order to cause as much pain as they could.

Killing the humans was easy, just a quick slit in the right place of the throat and the would be cocking on their own blood as they died. Recoms were more difficult, but in the completely unhinged state of mind the Sullys were in, they were capable of anything. Crashing skills, dismembering, burning alive, anything that made them feel better from the intense emotional pain they were feeling.

Avatar Taglist: @amerieee @simp-erformarvelwomen

Yandere Avatar Taglist <3: @jkeluv @penquinsqge

#avatar james cameron #avatar x reader #avatar #avatar 2 #yandere avatar (james cameron)#yandere avatar #avatar ( james cameron )#platonic avatar #jake sully #avatar neytiri #jake sully x reader #yandere neteyam #yandere jake sully #yandere neytiri #yandere lo’ak #yandere kiri

845 notes · View notes

amxrany · 8 months

Text

!! CHAPTER 7 / DIASOMNIA ARC SPOILERS !!

WE CAN GET THROUGH THIS GUYS LET'S GO (Part 4):

While Silver is in the darkness, he then sees Lilia's old memories. The first one is of Lilia visiting Wild Rose Castle after a peace treaty was made, this takes place 300 to 400 years after the events of Meleanor's death

While walking through the abandoned castle, Lilia hears a cry in the throne room. He rushes there to find a baby, and not just any baby IT'S BABY SILVER WHICH REVEALS THE FIRST CG IN THE GAME 🥹

(SILVER BEING TWISTED FROM AURORA IS REALLLLL)

Of course Lilia wondering why the hell is there a baby in the abandoned castle uses his Unique Magic on it. Thus revealing his UM "Far Cry Cradle", this allows him to see the past memories of someone who gets hit with the spell. This is how he finds out that the baby is actually the son of the Knight of Dawn and Princess Leah, while the war was happening 3 fairies blessed the baby by making him sleep through the war, even if it will last 10 to 100 years (well it went beyond 100 years). Once the little prince finds someone who loves him (or in other words true love), he will awaken from slumber; AND IT WAS LILIA WHO APPEARED WHICH CAUSED BABY SILVER TO WAKE UP WHICH IM JUST AAAAAAAAAA 😭😭😭

We can't forget that present time Silver is watching all of this happen, and noticed Lilia having mixed feelings about the whole thing. He (Lilia) tries to kill the baby after finding out he was the child of the enemy, but couldn't bring himself to do it. Lilia then asks himself if he can even love a human being? After losing his loved ones to them, and everything that happened. Which causes Silver to scream at Lilia that he doesn't deserve love (STOP SILVER IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT)

Lilia then tells baby Silver that the day he finds him will be his birthday (which is May 15th), and blesses him. This explains why Silver has silver hair despite being born blonde. Lilia also names the baby Silver because of the moon that shines through the night, which serves as a light to light up the path

We then move to another flashback, now this time it features Malleus. We see the cottage that present time Silver grew up in (which is like the cottage from the movie)

While Lilia is singing a lullaby to baby Silver (the same one Meleanor sang to egg Malleus), Malleus comes in cuz he overheard from the fairies that Lilia found a human. Then Malleus proceeds to call baby Silver A NAKED MONKEY CREATURE NAHHH 💀🤚

We also have to remember that Lilia didn't know shit about taking care of a human, much more a baby, so he visits Baul's daughter and son-in-law (Sebek's Mother and Father) for advice. Lilia then tells Malleus he's going out to get baby supplies and leaves Malleus with Silver, but Malleus is afraid that he might destroy Silver if he holds him (aww that's cute 🥹) but Lilia still leaves him behind regardless

Baby Silver wakes up to Malleus and starts crying and Malleus is now wondering if lullabies can help put it (yes he referred to the baby as "it") to sleep. He then hums to the baby the only lullaby he knows, which is the same lullaby is mother sang to him (I forgot to mention that whoops). This is the same lullaby Malleus sang when he placed the sleeping curse on everyone in part 3. Baby Silver falls asleep to it and Malleus is relieved, hoping for Lilia to come back soon but also wonders where he heard that lullaby before

We then see more flashbacks of Silver growing up, from his first time walking and his first words (which is "Dada/Father")(Edit: got this wrong by accident sorry guys). We also learn more about faes from here as well, it takes 30 years for a fae child to learn how to walk, but for the case of Malleus it took him 20 years to have a 2 legged form

Malleus then asked Lilia why he decided to take the baby in and Lilia respond that Malleus's father, Leverne said that Fae and Human should learn more about each other, thus learning a language that humans can understand. Lilia wants to learn how to love humans through Silver, but Malleus is like "but what if you can't", he replies with "let's not jump to conclusions"

STOP YOUNGER SILVER CALLS LILIA "TOTO" MY HEART CAN'T HANDLE THIS. WE ALSO FIND OUT THAT THE ACORN BRACELET WAS SILVER'S GIFT TO LILIA (since it symbolizes living a long and healthy life). He (Younger Silver) also says "I love you Toto!" (Guys what if this my last straw 😭). One more memory we see is Silver running away from home after finding out him and Lilia aren't related (in reference to his 1st birthday card)

Back to present time Silver, he thinks that he doesn't deserve to be called Lilia's son because his true origins is that of the son of the Knight of Dawn, this causes him to take on his biological father's form and General Lilia appears before him, saying he's the enemy (BUT IT'S ALL NOT REAL)

Thus a battle between the two begins, until present time Lilia suddenly appears; telling Silver to stand up and stay alive 😭

This end Silver's segment of the story, but we can't forget about Sebek, Yuu and Grim

Next: Part 5

Previous: Part 3

#rany talks about twst #twisted wonderland #twst #twst jp #twst spoilers #diasomnia #Fuck i feel like shit this chapter overwhelmed me

304 notes · View notes

just-another-star-47 · 22 days

Text

Sebastian Sallow

My headcanons for him before Anne's curse.

More headcanons for Slytherin • Gryfindor • Ravenclaw • Hufflepuff

16 September 1873 ♍️ , born 37 minutes before Anne

He speaks English, Scottish Gaelic, Latin, (Ancient) Greek, French and knows some runic alphabets -> if he is interested in a subject or enjoys a particular story, he learns the language in which the work is written so that he can read it in the original version.

Feldcroft borders directly on Goblinland, so he also knows common phrases and words in their language

His favourite thing to read are Greek myths, as his father often read them to him; he knows the myths about the Rape of Europa and Heracles by heart - in English and Greek.

His parents were often busy with their research and experiments, so Sebastian was often left to look after himself and Anne.

His parents travelled a lot and lived in different villages, taking their children with them, so that they were unable to build up any real friendships outside the family and at some point Sebastian gave up trying to make contact with other children.

In Feldcroft, after the death of his parents, he also rarely socialised with his peers, but withdrew even more into himself

The villagers often described him as very mature for his age and often gave him tasks with which he could earn a few coins, food, etc.

Sebastian not only has many of his father's characteristics, but also looks very much like him, which made it difficult for Solomon to treat him fairly and caringly from the start - as Sebastian did not put up with this and often rebelled against it, Solomon eventually gave up trying at all.

Sebastian had the villagers of Feldcroft teach him all about field and garden work in order to provide Anne with the best possible food, but Solomon often used the work as a punishment.

Sebastian has little interest in contact with people and quickly becomes impatient unless the person has something that could benefit him - knowledge, skills, information.

He knows exactly who he should be friendly to and who it makes no difference to.

It is not difficult for him to make someone cry with words alone.

He loves puns.

Sebastian likes to be left alone most of the time (Anne and Ominis are the exception) and so it comes in handy that he has built up a bad reputation at Hogwarts over the years.

Together with Anne, Sebastian is always one of the best in his year.

In most situations, Sebastian manages to find a benefit for himself.

Due to his ability and his intellectual superiority over most people, Sebastian feels very self-confident, but does not believe that anyone could like or even love him just for himself. He therefore constantly tries to prove his worth.

He sees himself as the protector of Anne and Ominis and therefore always appears composed around them - neither of them has ever seen or heard him cry.

Sebastian thinks the world is deeply unfair and it is up to him to find his own way by any means possible.

He idealises his parents, especially his father and, to a certain extent, Anne and Ominis too.

#sebastian sallow headcanons #sebastian sallow #hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy headcanons

76 notes · View notes

flowerandblood · 4 months

Text

The Gate of Salvation [1/3]

[ young pope • Aemond x catholic • female ]

[ warnings: sexual tension, angst, anxiety, manipulation, doubts related to faith, chauvinism ]

[ description: During the conclave, a new pope is elected, but to everyone's surprise, he does not intend to show himself to the crowds waiting for him. His ideas terrify the cardinals, and one of them convinces his niece, who is studying marketing, to talk to the new head of the Catholic Church in his presence. Main theme: sexual tension & holy touch. ]

A mini-series created as a thank you and celebration of my 2'500 followers. I initially plan that it will have about 3 chapters.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

The Song of Songs (Oneshot) Death and Ressurection (Oneshot)

Aemond as a Pope Edit Series Characters Moodboard Aemond NSFW Alphabet

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

_____

What happened after the conclave took everyone by surprise and caused complete chaos in the Catholic Church; she was one of the people who watched the live coverage from St Peter's Square.

She prayed in spirit that her uncle and her mother's brother, Cardinal Reene, would not become Pope.

Admittedly, it was thanks to him that she was living in Rome, and without his financial support she would not have been able to study, however, her uncle was a person who did nothing selflessly.

He recalculated to himself that if his niece wanted to study marketing at University then he would help her, reminding her at times that he would count on her help in the future, to create a good, sympathetic image of him.

She had the feeling that listening to him she was even losing her faith, which, despite her many internal disputes and doubts, was strong in her. She returned to the bosom of the church of her own free will when she was in high school after years of not attending Mass; she discovered that she felt attached to this tradition, as well as to God himself, whose presence she subconsciously felt all around her.

She knew that her uncle would certainly try to bribe other cardinals and she guessed what his pontificate would be like, so she begged God in her prayers not to allow such a man to become head of the church in his name, and heavens, as always, heard her prayers.

When she saw the white smoke on the screen she let out a loud breath, closing the textbook she had just been reading – she heard shouts and applause of joy coming from the television; the bells rang out, the solemn moment when the new pope comes out onto the balcony to greet his faithful was about to begin.

This went on for an astonishingly long time and she wondered if something had happened or if the votes had been miscounted, however, she heard the cheers of the crowd again as the doors opened. What stepped out was not a procession, but an ordinary priest in a black cassock; she recognised in him the secretary of the late Pope, who was certainly not a cardinal.

He seemed tense and frightened; he approached the microphone and said only two sentences.

"We have a Pope. The Holy Father, who has taken the name Pius XIII, asks you all to pray for him." He said in a trembling, uncertain voice, all pale, and then disappeared back behind the door – voices of disbelief and disappointment spread throughout the square, the gathered people, like her, were shocked.

However, all the internet portals published the name of the cardinal who had been elected; it turned out that the new pope was Cardinal Targaryen, a very little-known, withdrawn and shockingly young priest.

He was only two years older than her.

Journalists despaired that there were no official or unofficial photos of him, no statements from him, as if he had lived for years locked away in some monastery and never stepped into the light of day.

The world was confused and anxious – the young pope had not stepped out onto the balcony of St Peter's Basilica even once despite the crowds gathered in the square below chanting his name day and night.

She wondered if, in this way, he wanted to focus the world's attention even more on himself by standing in the absolute centre of it, and thought that if so, it was not a good beginning to his pontificate.

Two days later, her uncle paid her an unannounced visit at the flat he was renting to her, dressed so that no one would recognise him, just like the other cardinals still hounded by journalists and paparazzi.

"I need your help. The matter is very delicate." He said quickly, handing her his coat, which she hung on one of the hangers, looking at him over her shoulder in surprise.

"Me?" She asked with her eyes wide open, wondering what was going on there that required the help of someone from outside the Vatican.

"Pius XIII is a cripple. He lost his left eye as a child. He insists that if he is to show himself to a crowd, it should only be with his artificial eye, but not an ordinary one, one that resembles the real one, but a completely white one. He thinks this suits his attire and position better, but we think it will create additional confusion about him. Additionally, he wants to keep the Pope's public appearances to a complete minimum. He has fired all the Vatican marketing people with years of experience. This is some madness. Can I have a coffee?" He finally asked after his verbosity, sitting down in a chair at the living room table, placing his black wide-brimmed hat on the tabletop, sighing heavily.

She nodded, snapped out of her reverie and the shock of his words, pulling a mug and black coffee from her cupboard. Her uncle drank coffee made from three heaped teaspoons without milk, and although she didn't know how he could swallow something so disgusting and not have a heart attack in the process, she made it the way he liked it.

She swallowed loudly, pouring water into the kettle, putting it on the burner and turning the fire on under it, analysing everything he had told her.

"It sounds like he has a very low and a very high opinion of himself at the same time. How could I help here, uncle? I'm just a student." She said in dismay, shrugging her shoulders; her uncle nodded his head as if convinced that this would be her answer.

"You are young, you have a fresh outlook. He doesn't want to listen to us old people, he thinks we're out of step with the world and what it needs, whatever that means." He said with a sneer, looking out of the window, spreading himself comfortably in his chair with a creak of wood.

"I'd like you to try to talk to him, to understand what he means, what his vision is. Guide him to the idea that young people too want peace and predictability, not perpetual rebellion. I told him I could introduce you, that you are very talented and he agreed." He said finally and scratched the back of his neck – she heard the kettle whistle and turned off the fire under it, feeling that she had simply run out of words.

"− what? − I − oh God, uncle, I don't know − what if I make things worse and you lose in his eyes because of me? −" She muttered, feeling adrenaline start to bubble throughout her body; she poured hot water over the coffee in her mug, grabbed it and set it in front of him, then started walking back and forth across the room, panicking in some kind of way.

"This would just be a consultation − two young people want to change the image of the church to, let's say, a more welcoming one − this could be your big chance." He said, lifting the mug to his lips, taking a sip from it and murmuring contentedly, apparently finding that his coffee was exactly the way he liked it.

He persuaded her for so long that she finally agreed, but she regretted it as soon as he walked out.

She was inexperienced in discussions with this world, with such people, and was afraid she would make a mistake, do something against protocol and embarrass herself.

Her uncle sent her a message on the day of the meeting saying that she must dress modestly, preferably in white or black, her dress must end at least past her knees, her toes must not stick out of her shoes, her shoulders must be covered. Sharp, defiant make-up was not acceptable.

She was to address the Pope as Holy Father or Your Holiness, keep the proper distance, not sit with her legs crossed, not put her elbows on the armrests, not lean or crouch in front of him, approach him only if he wanted her to kiss his ring.

The amount of information she received overwhelmed her; she took a quick look in her wardrobe and found that her simple black dress with white embroidered collar and cuffs was the perfect length – it had no cleavage, it looked elegant, innocent and girly at the same time.

She decided to wear flesh-coloured tights with it and sleek black shoes, which she had previously polished. She styled her long dark hair in a braid around her head, keeping it in place with pins, short, unruly strands on the sides of her face.

She used only mattifying powder and mascara as her make-up, deciding that this was enough, around her neck a necklace with a small gold cross that she had been given once by her grandfather.

At the appointed hour, a black car pulled up in front of her townhouse; she got into the back seat and greeted the driver, who, however, did not answer her, driving off without a word.

After several minutes they were already in the Vatican itself; she looked through the car window at the crowds of people spilling out of St Peter's Square, saw a group of men and women holding cardboard sheets in their hands with the handwritten words:

Our Pope does not love us.

She lowered her gaze, silently contemplating all that was happening, and shuddered as they stopped in front of the gate – a Swiss Guard officer dressed in colourful historical attire with red, yellow and navy blue stripes stopped their car.

Her driver showed him his ID and the man nodded – the gate opened and they drove inside into a small courtyard that she saw for the first time in her life.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the figure of her uncle waiting for her in his full, opulent cardinal's robe, a cross on his chest of pure gold, adorned with rubies and diamonds.

He greeted her with a broad smile and joy, with a gesture of his hand inviting her inside – they ascended the baroque staircase to the corridor, the view of the interior of the entire complex took her breath away.

She was surrounded on all sides by paintings and sculptures by the great Italian masters of the Renaissance, Baroque and Classicism; she felt a solemn mood, though she did not know why, as if she had in fact entered the truest home of God himself on earth.

The guards as well as other men passing her looked at her intently – she thought with horror and shame that women, with the exception of nuns, were a rare visitor to this sanctuary and aroused curiosity mixed with distrust.

Here, what Eve did in paradise according to the Bible, because of whom sin possessed man, was never forgotten.

They climbed the stairs to the upper floor and then stood in front of a large white door, high up to the ceiling, with two men in the same colourful garments standing in front of them. Her uncle sighed heavily, as if stressed himself, and looked at her comfortingly.

"I'll do the talking, you keep quiet for now." He said lightly, surprising her completely – she had no time to reply as he nodded and one of the guards opened the door for him.

Her uncle moved ahead, so she moved behind him, entering a spacious, bright room with six windows overlooking St Peter's Square – to their right stood bookcases filled to the brim with books, and to their left a huge wooden desk.

Only after a moment did she notice someone standing by one of the windows; his back turned to them, looking out at the crowds knowing they couldn't see him, a white cassock on his body, his short hair looking elegant and carefully styled, pulled back, almost white, glistening in the sunlight.

"Holy Father. As promised, I bring before you my niece, who I hope will allow us to come to an agreement." He said in a light, cheerful tone, as if addressing a friend, but they were answered by an uncomfortable silence.

She swallowed loudly when he finally turned to face them, her heart stopped for a moment when she saw how sharply shaped his face was – his cheeks and jaw were clearly outlined as if someone had carved them with a chisel, his mouth full, a pale scar running across the left side of his forehead to his cheek, his artificial eye completely white.

She felt that she was looking at him with her lips slightly parted and some sort of concern, so she lowered her gaze, reminding herself that she shouldn't do that.

"Hm." She heard him hum under his breath, as if he was thinking hard about something.

"Leave us alone, Cardinal." He said finally, turning his face towards the window again – she and her uncle looked at each other horrified, for this was not their plan.

She was only going to be an accessory, he was going to be the one doing all the talking.

"Your Holiness, I…"

"Get out."

Her uncle pressed his lips together and grunted, bowed his head and left, not even bestowing a glance on her despite the despair written on her face, leaving her to her fate.

She swallowed loudly as the door closed behind him and intertwined her hands in front of her, not knowing what to do, where to look, a cold sweat on her back.

"Do not be afraid, child. I know your uncle's nature. If I didn't let him bring you here he wouldn't let me alone." He began reluctantly, as if the very fact that he had to talk to her made him very tired; he moved with his hands entwined behind him ahead, walking along the windows, his profile illuminated by the sun.

She lowered her gaze, feeling a wave of shame surge through her, understanding that he knew perfectly well what her uncle wanted.

That it wasn't just about his image, but that he, as a cardinal, wanted his favour and the high position, money and comfort he could give him.

"What do you think of my decision not to show myself in public?" He asked finally; she raised her eyes at him, surprised, horrified that she had to answer. She swallowed loudly and licked her lips, dry of stress, thinking intensely about what she should say.

"Go on. You're supposed to know it, after all, it's an image issue." He growled and looked at her with an anger that sent a shiver through her; she stared at him in disbelief and fear trying to decide what kind of man he was.

She wasn't sure this was how a pope should behave.

"Driving here I saw people holding cardboard sheets saying: Our Pope does not love us. I felt sadness at the thought that many people feel rejected by your decision, Holy Father." She said at last, feeling that involuntarily her voice trembled and broke; she saw him tighten his lips, his nostrils moved nervously in accelerated breathing.

"Is love a perpetual vying for attention, standing in the centre? Is love only the deeds that can be shown, that anyone can see and name?" He asked frustrated, and she felt a squeeze in her throat, her lower lip quivered. She shook her head.

"People are afraid of what they do not know. You don't let them meet you, Holy Father." She whispered, and he snorted, turning back, going the other way, as if thinking over her words.

"So you think I should speak? Go out on the balcony and give them what they want?" He asked dryly. She let the air quietly out of her lungs, feeling her body tense all over – she had the feeling that she had adopted a defensive posture, as if ready for him to hit her.

"No. But I think it is necessary to find a way in which they can see you, Holy Father. To feel that you are in their lives physically as well. They need a guide, not another invisible God." She said finally and fell silent, lowering her gaze, feeling that her last sentence might have been too far-fetched.

She noticed with horror that he stopped hearing what she had said.

"You think I'm doing this out of vanity?" He asked in disbelief. She lifted her gaze to him, for some reason feeling that she was on the verge of crying.

"I don't know, Holy Father. I do not know you, nor do any of your faithful. We are sheeps who do not know where to go and where is their shepherd. Do you think we are too sinful? That we don't deserve to see you?" She asked finally in a trembling voice, his healthy eye fixed on her.

Our Pope does not love us.

She shuddered, feeling the rapid pounding of her heart as he moved towards her with a slow, lazy step, not taking his eyes off her, towering over her. She didn't know what she saw in his gaze, proud and cool; she felt heat in her lower abdomen as the pleasant scent of his masculine perfume filled her nostrils.

She thought he had approached her far too closely.

She froze and swallowed loudly as he lifted his hand; she thought for a moment in horror and disbelief that he would touch her breasts, however, he grasped her golden cross in his hand and turned it between his fingers, looking at it thoughtfully.

"I am not a hypocrite. There is no greater sinner in this world than me. I am vain. I am proud. I am cold. I am eternally, eternally thirsty." He murmured softly and looked into her eyes, her lips slightly parted in disbelief.

She felt panic begin to overtake her body as her insides throbbed wonderfully hard at his ambiguous, unsettling words.

Something about him she found disturbing, even though she was surrounded by whiteness and daylight it seemed to her that the room had gone dark.

She was only able to breathe and look at him, nothing more.

"Do you believe in God?" He asked, still playing with her necklace, however, he did so in such a way that once in a while his fingers rubbed against the material of her dress lying between her breasts, each time a wonderful shiver ran through her spine.

There was something evil, menacing, lewd in the way he asked the question, in the way he acted and the way he looked at her and she knew it, she was horrified by how strongly her body reacted to it.

"Yes." She whispered, as if she was admitting something she was ashamed of, something that was her secret.

He hummed again under his breath, as if accepting her words – his hand let go of her necklace and returned to the other, placed behind his back.

"I'm hiring you. You will be my image specialist. I expect you here tomorrow at 8am. That's all. You may go." He said indifferently, turning away as if nothing had happened; she sighed quietly, terrified, and nodded with a rapidly pounding heart.

"Holy Father." She mumbled, then turned and walked out.

Her uncle ran after her asking her what they were talking about and what had happened – he made the sign of the cross with some kind of relief on his face when she told him in horror that he had hired her.

"What did you say to him about me? I'm only in my second year of university, I don't have the right experience yet." She muttered in a trembling voice; her uncle sighed, correcting his glasses on his nose with his pointing finger.

"He doesn't care about your experience." He said amused, and she looked at him in disbelief.

It suddenly dawned on her what her uncle had been planning all along, and what she had gotten herself into because of her foolishness and naivety.

There is no greater sinner in this world than me.

I am eternally, eternally thirsty.

She felt a squeeze in her throat, tears filling her eyes again as she moved forward, covering her mouth with her hand, distraught, humiliated.

Her uncle didn't want her to be his worker.

Her uncle wanted her to be his lover.

_____

Aemond Taglist:

(bold means I couldn't tag you)

@notnormalthings-blog @nikstrange @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @k-y-r-a-1 @g-cf2020 @melsunshine @opheliaas-stuff @chainsawsangel @iiamthehybrid @tinykryptonitewerewolf @namoreno @malfoytargaryen @qyburnsghost @aemondsdelight @persephonerinyes @fan-goddess @sweethoneyblossom1 @watercolorskyy @randomdragonfires @apollonshootafar @padfooteyes @darylandbethfanforever9 @fudge13 @snh96 @rwdkarla

364 notes · View notes

legitalicat · 18 days

Text

Forged From Death - Sihtric Kjartansson x Widow!Reader

An: Thank you so much @foxyanon for the request and officially turning me into a Sihtric girl. I hope this is everything you wanted. And @zaldritzosrose thank you for creating the header you are amazing!

Masterlist here!

Separate from the normal CW section for a special attention. This is going to be dark as reader thinks cruelty of her husband, Sigefrid, and her father towards those around them. No explicit examples of violence or abuse. I really was just trying to capture emotions without talking of direct acts.

CW: Language, political marriage really, Sigefrid is not a good man, neither was reader's father, warlord husband and father, scared child, character death, P IN V sex, fingering, dirty talk, gets quite dirty lots of smut, breeding kink, vague talks of pregnancy kink, she/her pronouns, use of you, reader not really described or named, FLUFFY, Stepdad!Sihtric, found family trope, soulmates trope kinda, love and lust and first sight

Pairing: Sihtric Kjartansson x reader

Word Count: 6.2k

You knew what you were. A bargaining chip, a prize. Something akin to a crown, symbolizing power. With your own father being a man who bargained in fear rather than respect, you weren’t surprised when your husband was the same.

Sigefrid Thurglison, rather quickly upon marrying you, decided his family’s wealth and power would be found in England. So, you sailed along with him and his brother to find this for yourselves. You, the dutiful wife, who knows your fate would be worse had you denied your father’s arrangement. You, who disappointed your father from birth by just being a daughter, who he could only use as a piece in his games but never actually respect. You, who married a man just like him.

You remained silent throughout. You played your part well, perhaps too well. Your name was used as a way to remind men of the force your husband could bring upon England. Even if they weren’t directly familiar with your father, they remembered the tales their fathers spoke to them, and they bowed at Sigefrid and Erik’s feet.

Until they met a man by the name of Uhtred. You couldn’t tell if he wanted to die or if he was just too stupid to realize that death was a very real possibility. But he was quick to anger your husband and his brother through way of opposition. And, apparently, Uhtred did not heed warnings well. He was unconcerned with the possibility of your father showing up.

“If he wanted England, he would be here,” said a voice from behind Uhtred upon your first meeting. You looked for the source. When you saw the man, you were certain your heart stopped for a moment.

You had seen beauty before. Land, sky, men, women, all of which held a certain captivating air about them. And yet there had been nothing as beautiful as the man who stood before you. You heard Uhtred refer to him as Sihtric, and your eyes made their way over his form. From his brown hair, to his striking yet mismatched eyes, over the angles of his face, and the swell of his muscles that already could be seen straining against the silver bands he wore, there was no part of him you felt was not hand crafted by Freyja herself to be the perfect embodiment of everything she represented.

And Sihtric noticed you. By the gods, did he notice you. You were pretty, prettier than any woman he had ever seen. He couldn’t tell what started swelling faster when he saw you looking back at him and smile: his cock or his heart.

That was the day he swore he would have you.

When he saw you again, it had been over three years. He hadn’t gone a day without thinking of you if he were honest. He was waiting so he could have his chance with you. Those few moments of seeing you was what carried him through the years. You were the face he saw with every victory and every stroke of his cock.

He only wishes it were under better circumstances.

You still resided in the fortress after Sigefrid laid dead on the ground. You knew the only way any of this would end would be if Sigefrid died. And you knew, as you listened to the herd of feet approach the room you were hidden in, that he had.

Sihtric was the first in the room. He knew that Sigefrid would never leave you far behind. It was unfortunate such a man had the honor of being your first husband. Sihtric, though, was perfectly fine being your last.

A feeling that did not waver when he saw you holding a small child close to your body. There was a fear in both of you, but you had the rage of a mother in your eyes. He could see it, and he wanted you more for it.

“He is dead?” you asked Sihtric as others, Uhtred and another you vaguely recognized, came into the room.

Despite having only seen him once, you knew Sihtric could be trusted. You couldn’t explain why. Maybe it was lust clouding your judgement. Perhaps it was a sign. Or maybe you were being stupid and crazy and you would only end up right back where you have been your whole life.

But, his eyes made you feel like that would never be the case again.

“Aye,” he said to you. “How old?” He nodded towards your child, your daughter, who looked at him in fear. He held up his arm, wordlessly keeping Uhtred and the other man from coming any closer.

“Four. She was born here, before we were sent away,” you told him truthfully.

“Her name?” he asked you. He continuously looked between your faces, barely capable of holding himself in place and not taking you in his arms.

“Astra.”

He said nothing else to you for the moment, instead crouching down to be on the same level as your daughter. She clung to you tightly.

“Hello, Astra. Are you hurt?” he said quietly to her. In silence, she shook her head. “Is your mother?”

“Mama is safe, I am safe,” she whispered.

It caused your heart to ache when you heard her repeat the words you told her when everything got quiet. Had you never left England, you would’ve been able to leave Sigefrid. You knew you would have had somewhere to take Astra to keep her safe from him. But when your husband was banished, he swore he would return with your father, and you knew better than to wait around for that. Your only saving grace now was that your father had died before you got back to Norway.

“Would you like to leave here? You and your ma can come with me, if you would like.”

Astra looked up at you, tears in her eyes as they had been all day. You knew that while Sigefrid had never touched either of you, he had given you both more than enough reason to be fearful. And you wanted so badly to make sure she never had to live with this fear again.

Your daughter looked to him and nodded silently. He extended his arms towards her slowly.

“Come then, little one. I will get you out of here,” he said softly. Astra, who had never trusted anyone but you, walked directly into his arms.

The sight of his arms wrapping themselves around her small body caused your heart to ache. It was something you had never thought to wish for, your daughter being in the arms of someone but you. Now you could only pray that this was her new normal.

“I’ve got you little one,” he whispered and stood up, holding her close. “I want you to close your eyes tight and put your forehead against my cheek until I tell you. Can you do that for me?”

She nodded. You watched as she squeezed her eyes shut, her whole face squinting up. Her forehead rested perfectly against his cheek, her brown hair matching his in a shocking way. It almost felt as she was made of him.

“You are as pretty as your ma, brave just like her too,” he told her. You were surprised when you heard her giggle. He looked to you. “Take my arm, Lady. “

You did as he said, stepping closer to him and holding tightly to his arm. He made sure you were not questioned or stopped as he led you out of the fortress. He already had stepped in as your protector and you barely knew him.

When you were outside the walls and far from the carnage, Sihtric finally stopped. You watched as he sat Astra down to stand on her own. He told her it was safe to open her eyes, and she looked relieved when she opened them and saw you.

“Lord,” Sihtric said as he saw Uhtred approach. He instinctually moved to stand between you both.

“Are more men following him?” Uhtred asked you, looking at you over Sihtric’s shoulder. His hand remained on his axe, though he did not unsheathe it.

“He was the last of them,” you told him. And that was the truth. Any men that hadn’t abandoned him before this battle laid dead.

“Do you have anywhere to go?” he asked.

You knew the truth of what he was asking. You were a widow now. Your husband’s family were meant to take care of you now, and your daughter. But Sigefrid was the last of his family, having killed his own brother during his last rampage. Their father had long since been dead and had no living brothers.

“No, Lord,” you told him. “He had no surviving family. And my own father died two winters ago. I was the only child.”

He looked past you to Astra. You could see in his eyes he did not trust you. And you did not trust him. You could not find it in you to trust anyone but Sihtric. But good men, which you ultimately believed Uhtred to be, did not harm little girls.

“You may come with me and my men, then. Until you find other…arrangements,” he said gruffly.

It was three and a half months when you began to worry about your future. You thought of Astra and worried endlessly for her. Her father’s reputation would stain her future forever, you feared. You had no way to provide for her truly. Should your fears be proven true, you wouldn’t even be able to arrange a proper marriage for her when the time would come.

But, you thought perhaps you were worrying too much for Astra. You stood in Uhtred’s hall, watching as Sihtric, Osferth, Finan, and Uhtred spoke, Astra settled peacefully on Sihtric’s lap. She was loved so deeply by Sihtric, and by extension the men he fought beside, one could be forgiven for thinking he was her father. Interestingly enough, she looked more like Sihtric than she ever did Sigefrid.

Uhtred looked to you and nodded, having noticed your presence for the first time. You two had a somewhat uneasy trust in each other now. Well, trust that if either of you betrayed Sihtric, or the others, the other would respond with a blade. And that seemed to make you friends.

Sihtric noticed you, immediately lighting up when he looked at you. He beckoned you to him, to Astra, the both of them holding your whole heart.

You were insane, you knew it. But from the moment you saw him those years ago, you loved him. He was obvious. You would burn down all of England for him if he were to ask.

He had never done anything but protected you and Astra from the very first moment. The day Sigefrid died, it could’ve been so much worse for her. But Sihtric was the one to make sure that no bad ever touched her since he met her.

It was one of many ways that everyone knew you two would find your way to each other. Sihtric would give everything for and to you. As far as he was concerned, the universe began and ended in you and at your feet he would worship. And there had never been a moment in which you doubted his devotion to you or Astra.

“Go say hello to your ma, little one,” Sihtric said softly to Astra.

“Okay, papa,” she giggled as she crawled off his lap while you knelt down.

It was not the first time she had referred to him as such, but it touched your soul every time you heard it. Sihtric looked to you immediately to make sure you did not think to correct her. He was not deluding himself into thinking his presence in Astra’s life could erase all the bad. But he knew, without a doubt, that she was his. From the moment he first held her in his arms, she was his girl and there was no argument he would listen to.

Your darling girl ran into your waiting arms. She was giggling, as she had done since your arrival in Coccham. She was happier than she had ever been. She felt more peaceful.

“Mama, mama, papa is making me an axe,” she told you excitedly.

“Oh is he?” you asked, raising an eyebrow as you looked up to Sihtric. He blushed brightly, especially when Uhtred and Finan began to tease him for being in trouble.

“M-my love, I only,” he said, beginning to attempt an explanation.

“She will need an axe if she is going to be on my shield wall one day,” Uhtred told you, grinning from ear to ear. He stood from his seat, drumming a bit on the table, before he jogged over to you and Astra. “And if there is one thing my Little Star will be it is an excellent warrior.”

You watched as Uhtred picked her up and put her on his shoulders. She squealed and giggled until she was settled on her perch.

“If you are teaching her, then I consider myself lucky to have such a warrior in my home,” you said, standing, while grinning ear to ear. “Perhaps she will be knowledgeable enough to teach our next child.” You looked directly at Sihtric as you said ‘our’.

“Our next ten,” he said back to you. He was still blushing a bit, but he enjoyed these moments.

“And you shall birth them all? If it is up to me, you get five,” you said to him.

“You would give me five more children?” he asked excitedly. You could practically see him buzzing.

“Should you decide to take me as your wife,” you said nonchalantly, shrugging to him as you walked over to the table he sat at.

Once you were in his reach, his arm wrapped around you, hand resting on your hip. There was no hesitation from either of you as Sihtric pulled you onto his lap and you wrapped your arms around him.

At first, you had withheld from such public affection. You were only a few months a widow, you felt as though there was some need to respect your loss. But, when your husband had been so cruel to everyone around him and Sihtric was such a soft presence, you lasted perhaps a week before you made your affections clear.

“You honor me, my love,” he said softly. “To think you have already blessed me with one, and are willing to bless me with more. One would be a fool to deny the chance to be your husband.”

You kissed his cheek. It was truly simple with him. There was no darkness. Only love and warmth flowed between you both.

“You will make sure she is careful?” you asked him, bringing the conversation back to the idea of Astra getting an axe.

“Of course, my love,” he confirmed to you. “You know nothing means more to me than the safety of my girls.”

It was less than a month later that you were married. Sihtric made sure it was everything you dreamt of it, everything you were not afforded the first time around. He was watching as you danced with Astra. He loved both of you more than anyone had loved two people.

“Congratulations,” Uhtred said as he sat next to Sihtric. “You will make a fine husband.”

“Thank you, Lord,” he said, smiling. His eyes went between you and Uhtred rapidly, wanting to make sure you never disappeared.

“I see our Little Star got a hold of your hair,” Uhtred smirked as he grabbed a drink. Sihtric’s hand moved to his head, where there was a tiny braid in his hair.

“There is no finer braider in all of England,” he said. “Finan has offered to keep her tonight.”

“Did he tell you Osferth and I were asked to come too?” Uhtred chuckled.

“He did, Lord,” Sihtric laughed, taking a drink of his ale. He sat the cup down, looking to his Lord, his friend. “I want her to be mine.”

“She already is,” Uhtred said. “Nobody will deny that.”

“No, I mean....I want Astra to be just as the children of my blood. I want her to inherit, I want to be responsible for her. Entirely. And should she and my wife allow, I want to give her my name,” Sihtric said.

Uhtred could see a determination on his friend’s face that he had not quite seen before. It shone through in a burning heat. He lived for the family he had with you now. No oath superseded his oath to the two of you, and none ever would.

“Should they wish it, it is done. I will make it known Astra is to be no different than any child of your blood,” he promised his friend. “Now, go dance with your wife. Take her to bed. We will keep our Little Star.”

With a clap on the shoulder, Sihtric stood from the table and began to work his way through crowd to you. You were twirling Astra around, making her laugh and laugh. He could not imagine a more perfect life for himself.

Sihtric chuckled when Astra noticed him and ran into his legs. He knew she was his. She was meant to be his daughter. He could not be bothered by something as trivial as blood. He, of all people, knew family was not limited to blood. Family was created by love, and he loved her enough to create a universe.

Then there was you, his dear wife. He thought you looked stunning in your dress, the deep red color feeling like the physical representation of his love for you. You were more than he could have ever dreamed of. All of his life, he wanted to be what his father wasn’t. A good, honorable man who stayed for his family and loved his wife. A man worthy of love and respect.

And he realized that’s exactly how you saw him.

“Hello, my love,” you said to him when you saw him.

“Are you talking to me?” he asked teasingly, picking Astra up when she stopped dancing.

“Yes, my love. Though, perhaps you would much prefer my husband,” you said, smirking.

“Aye. After all, I will never call you anything but my wife again,” he said and rubbed his nose against Astra’s cheek.

“Hehe papa,” she said as she hugged him tightly. “I love you.”

Sihtric could feel his heart skip a beat. She had called him papa for months at this point, that was no surprise. But, Astra had not told him she loved him. And there was something so precious about hearing it.

“I love you, little one,” he said softly, pressing his lips against her forehead.

You smiled at the two of them. You wanted to hold this moment in your mind for the rest of your life. Capture it, freeze it for all of eternity, something you could hold onto and remember love.

“Now little one, Uncle Finan is excited to start your time together. Your ma and I will see you in the morning,” he told her as he sat her down.

“UNCLE FINAN I AM COMING!” Astra shouted as she ran off through the crowd.

Every person parted to let her through, allowing your eyes to follow her path to Finan. She was loved by most any in town. Her personality was loud and bright enough so that everyone knew her. Of course, it helped that she was always right by your side, and you were always close to Sihtric.

And you knew, at least within the confines of the town walls, she was safe to move about. Most everyone would agree that harming a child is egregious. Everyone agreed that harming your child was the fastest way to ensure a brutal death by the hands of Sihtric, and a quick one by Uhtred and Finan. Even Osferth, sweet Osferth, would pray for his God’s forgiveness as he took the life of anyone who would lay a finger on Astra. She was loved, she was safe. For the first time in her life she did not flinch when she was more than an inch from your skirts.

“Being my wife suits you,” Sihtric told you, drawing your eyes from Finan and Astra to him.

He looked at you with pure adoration. He worshipped you. Made certain that he loved you enough to make the bad parts of your life feel like another lifetime.

“Just as being my husband suits you,” you said to him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

His arms wrapped around your middle, pulling you tightly to him. He breathed you in, feeling overwhelmed by you. Everything about you was intoxicating to him. From your beauty, the way you smelled, the way your body pressed against his own, there was nothing that could dampen his desire of you.

“Then it seems we are in agreement,” he said.

“That it does,” you said softly, leaning forward slightly. Your lips hovered next to his ear. “And I think I would like to feel my husband.”

You felt him shudder with your words, the unmistakable hardness of his erection beginning to dig into you. It had not been difficult to get him excited these last months. Even after both of you had agreed to wait until you were married, you had enjoyed riling him up before he returned to his own home.

“I have dreamt of this night for years,” he muttered to you. “From the moment I first saw you, I knew you were mine. I dreamt of my cock sinking deep into you for hours on end.”

It was your turn now for a shiver down your spine. There was no part of you that could deny dreaming of the same thing for just as long. In the years trying to exist outside of England, the nights where you went to bed amidst yells and cheers during another fight to the death for Sigefrid’s amusement, you dreamt of his mismatched eyes. Of his sharp beauty. Of a life you now got to share with him.

You weren’t sure who broke away first between the two of you, but it wasn’t long before you were walking down the streets to his, no your, home. The home you would grow old together in, gods be good. And the two of you couldn’t keep from stopping every few feet, pulling the other for a deep, passionate kiss.

When you finally arrived at the house, he picked you up and carried you over the threshold. In fact, he did not put you down until he could place you on the bed. You had barely recognized that you were laying on it before he was hovering over you, repeatedly kissing your neck.

“Such a pretty wife,” he muttered with every kiss. You put your head back to expose more of your sensitive skin. “Have been blessed, haven’t I? Blessed by the gods to be given such a pretty wife.”

You placed a hand on the bag of his head and gripped his hair firmly. Despite the pull on his hair, you only brought him closer into you. You could feel him starting to grind himself against your thigh, desperately looking for some relief.

“Fuck, Sihtric,” you moaned out. But when his name left your lips, he nipped at your neck quickly. It took you by surprise, causing a quiet squeak to escape you.

“Be a good, pretty wife and do not use my name tonight,” he whispered in your ear.

“Such a demanding husband I have,” you teased. “So desperate to fuck me he has to rut against me like an animal.”

He groaned into your neck at your words, his right hand beginning to fumble with the fastenings of your dress. You ignored the shaking of your own hands, your need of Sihtric outweighing your nerves. This was meant to be, after all. And you had faith it would be perfect.

“Use your mouth for better things and perhaps I will let you fuck a child into me tonight,” you told him. This time it was not a groan, but a quiet whimper, that left his lips. His fingers struggled with undressing you, the way it was held to your body being more complicated than he had thought.

He pulled back entirely, sitting up on his knees as he began reaching for the knife he carried. He cut the fabric of your dress away from your body. You stared at him, eyes heavy with lust.

“Nothing but a dress, you can replace it,” he told you. You could only nod at him as he helped remove the material away completely. After a moment, the tattered remains of the dress and his knife fell together to the floor, just as quickly forgotten.

He stared at your naked form. He could not help it, truly. Everything about you was perfect for him. He leaned forward and kissed you once more, before his lips started trailing down your body. Along your jawline, down your neck, over your collarbone. He only took pause when he got to your breasts. Sihtric’s left hand began pawing at one while his lips wrapped around your nipple.

You moaned quietly as he sucked while massaging your soft flesh. Your eyes fluttered shut, whimpering every time he decided to graze your nipple with his teeth. You wanted to beg him to give you more, to pleasure your aching cunt.

He groaned to himself before pulling away from your breasts entirely, muttering a promise he would play with them more. You almost started to laugh, only for it to catch in your throat when his fingers found your slick. He smirked down at you.

“You must really enjoy this, wife,” he whispered teasingly. His fingers ran up and down your folds, deliberate in their light touching of your pearl.

“Of course, I have only dreamt of you as my husband a few dozen times now,” you told him. Your thighs trembled a bit as you resisted the urge to buck your hips into his hand.

He hummed quietly as he allowed his finger to sink into you. While you became a whimpering mess, he just slowly thrust his finger in and out. Never had you known such bliss. His finger felt thicker than you had anticipated.

“What is it, pretty wife? Cannot think through your pleasure?” he asked you, looking directly into your eyes.

Your resolve finally broke. With a moan, you allowed your hips to move to meet his hand. All you could think of was chasing your pleasure with him.

“You say I am demanding, but you are so needy,” he cooed. He pushed another finger into you, curling his fingers slightly with every thrust of them. His touch was perfectly focused on the spongy spot inside you.

“Love, my love, please, fuck, please,” you moaned. You couldn’t finish a single thought as you felt a band tightening behind your navel.

You had only experienced such a feeling with yourself. Pleasure had never been at the forefront of your life. Until now, at least, since Sihtric seemed determined to make you reach that point. He increased the speed of his fingers movements.

“Cum for me,” he practically demanded of you. His voice was quiet, meant only for your ears, but forceful in nature. “And then I’ll give you my cock. Such a good girl, you deserve it. Don’t you, my love?”

“Y-yes,” you whispered. You gripped the furs under you tightly, the edges of your vision going fuzzy.

“Deserve my cock, deserve my love. You have both, entirely, you understand?” he asked you, his thumb barely ghosting against your pearl.

“Yes, fuck, my love, my husband,” you whined pathetically. It seemed to please him, at least enough.

His thumb finally rested against the bundle of nerves, rubbing circles in time with every thrust of his fingers. The band finally snapped as you cried out, back arching off the bed. A jumbled mess of his name, husband, love, and expletives left your tongue.

You were able to watch as Sihtric removed his touch from you entirely. He brought his fingers to his lips before he sucked them clean, earning another whimper from you. And then you got to watch him undress, his shirt and pants being flung away in a matter of moments.

You weren’t entirely sure which of the gods had blessed you, but you thanked everyone of them when Sihtric stood naked before you. His toned chest and stomach was near flawless, save for a few scars earned in battle. The Thor’s hammer pendant rested against his taut chest. Your gaze washed over the grooves of his form, able to count each muscle, until they finally landed on his cock.

He was blessed even then. His heavy cock bobbed with need. When his eyes caught yours, he smirked at your hungry gaze. He was long and thick enough to make you question just how exactly you were meant to take him in entirely.

Sihtric couldn’t hide his smirk when he grabbed you by the hips and pulled your body closer to his. He groaned softly as his cock now rested against you, already collecting your slick.

“I love you,” he said to you, his voice softer than the cocky look etched on his face would have you expect.

You tried to stutter out some response before he started rubbing himself against you. Anytime the head brushed against your pearl, the feeling stole your words and sent shockwaves through your body. There was a pride he felt at already having you responding like this before having even fucked you.

“I love…fuck, fuck me, fuck I love you,” you finally managed to get out.

“Good girl, using your words,” he cooed. He moved his cock to start pressing against your entrance. “Are you going to keep being a good girl, love?”

“Yes,” you said weakly and nodded

He smiled at you. He grabbed your leg gently, hooking it on his arm, as he leaned down to bring his face closer to you. Your knee pressed against your chest while he kissed you. You melted into his kiss, your hands releasing the furs you laid up on to hold his face gently.

Your kiss only ended on account of the way he couldn’t hold back his whines and whimpers when he pushed into you. He couldn’t help the way your name left him when you took half of him without issue.

He pulled himself away to look down at your face. After a moment, he looked between your bodies and groaned when he saw you impaled on his cock.

“Fuck, such a pretty wife I have,” he muttered. “You ready for more, my love?” he asked when he reconnected your gaze.

“Yes,” you told him, nodding eagerly.

He groaned as he moved his hips forward. It was pure bliss for both of you. His cock throbbed with every thrust, your walls clenching tightly around him. Every nerve ending in both of you felt like it was on fire as your connection only grew. Sihtric watched you every second, trying to make sure it was as mind blowing for you as it was for him.

His speed increased desperately. He needed more, you needed more. Your hands roamed his body, your moans filling his ears like a beautiful song. The head of his cock kept moving against the spongy spot inside, making your thighs tremble once again.

You watched him as he thrust into you. His pendant and your breasts moved in time with his thrusts, captivating him. You could see him teetering the line of control and instinct. He wanted this to be sweet for you, to be perfect, everything you deserved. He has heard enough stories of your life to know you deserved more than to once again be used for someone else’s pleasure.

“Such a good husband already,” you told him, gripping his biceps. His gaze softened when you spoke, his hips stuttering a bit. “We have all our lives for you to make me scream your name in pleasure, do we not? “

He nodded wordlessly. His cock never once stilled in you as he watched you. He kept grunting under his breath, every noise ending in what sounded like a whine.

“Then I say tonight, I want you to finish inside of me until there is no doubt that come morning I am carrying your child,” you commanded.

His mouth hung open, his hips slowing a bit as he stared down at you. You could see him searching for any uncertainty on your face. Yet, he could search for his entire life and never find in you any doubt of him.

You couldn’t help yourself. You leaned up and took his pendant of Thor’s hammer in between your teeth before looking directly into his eyes. His thrusts picked up in speed, going harder and deeper than before.

He closed the gap between you, his lips coming next to your ear as he finally released your leg. On one side all you could hear a symphony of skin slapping against skin as he fucked you at an almost bruising intensity. In the other, he began to whimper and whine for you.

“Pretty wife, amazing mother,” he whispered in your ear, punctuating each word with a thrust of his hips. He was throbbing inside you and you could feel just how close he was. The way he twitched and pushed against you, his weight pressing into your chest, the band started to tighten again.

“Already a desperate man for you,” he grunted. You were incapable of getting any sound to leave your mouth. All you could do was focus on his word, his sounds, his movements. He was all you knew to be true in this moment.

“Can’t wait to see you pregnant. Probably prettier, round with child and tits swollen with milk. Fuck,” he said to you as his hips started stuttering more frequently.

Your orgasm overcame you finally, causing you to cry out his name. You were barely aware of his whisperings still in your ear.

“That’s a good girl, fuck, yes, my pretty wife,” he practically growled in your ear. Finally, his thrusts stopped, his cock buried inside you as he released ropes of hot cum into you. Sihtric let out a sound with every throb.

You were trembling when he pulled himself from you, breathing heavily. Carefully, he maneuvered the furs out from under your body before carefully covering you both. You moved closer to him and laid your head on his chest. His arm wrapped around you, holding you as though he was terrified of you walking out the door.

You laid there in silence for several moments, basking in the way you felt. With being given from your father to Sigefrid, you had never known much of love or safety. You had never really known kindness. You had feared for so long that the violence and chaos both of them had brought into their lives and halls would haunt you forever.

Yet, laying here in Sihtric’s arms, you almost couldn’t remember how they made you feel. He made you feel so powerful, so loved, so worshipped beyond belief that you would now go days without thinking of the horrors of your past. Even Astra seemed to feel nothing but safety and love.

You turned your face to look at him. He was looking happily down at you, a cheesy, lazy little grin splashed on his face. You were certain nothing could get better than this.

“I love you,” you said softly. “Especially your eyes.”

He rolled them, yet the smile never faded. “Which is your favorite?” he asked.

“Oh no, that is like trying to choose a favorite mountain, or snowflake. Each so unique, so special, one would be an ignorant fool to pick a favorite,” you told him, smiling up at him. “Luckily, I do not have to. I get to enjoy them until I die.”

“Oh? And if I die before you?” he teased, kissing your forehead.

“You are not allowed. I cannot let you walk into Valhalla without me there to greet you, even if that means I will need to pick up an axe again,” you said simply. It was your truth. “I have spent my entire life waiting for the love you give me. You are not allowed to ever make me live without it again, husband.”

Sihtric tried to hide it, but you could see him wiggle just a bit, his smile spread further, when you addressed him as husband. In the moments past, he was too distracted by lust. But now it was sinking in, for both of you, and you felt just as joyful as him.

“Of course, wife. I would not dare leave you to raise our ten children alone,” he said, smirking as you laughed.

“I believe I said five more,” you told him, raising an eyebrow.

“I believe Freyja will bless us with a small army, as much as I plan to bury my cock in you,” he told you, kissing your forehead. “Speaking of.”

Sihtric smirked before kissing you again, pulling you on top of him. You felt your laugh rumble in your chest as you couldn’t help but kiss him back.

You were finally no longer a bargaining chip.

Taglist: @sihtricfedaraaahvicius @gemini-mama @alexagirlie

#the last kingdom #sihtric x you #sihtric kjartansson #dividers by benkeibear #sihtric x you smut

69 notes · View notes