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joyfulholland · 4 years

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Bad at Excuses

a/n: after the success of The Coconut Debate and my ever growing boredom I thought I’d write a little part two, hope you all enjoy x special thank you to @chloecreatesfictions/@ficrecsbychloe for constantly putting TCD in her rec lists!

warnings: just swearing

word count: 1341

Harry changed the group name to getting the band back together

Tuwaine: What band?

Harrison: He means us

Tom: why

Harrison: Who knows

Harry: We no longer live together, the group has broken up

Y/N: Harry you were here for dinner last night

Tom: And you’re coming over tomorrow before we leave at the weekend

Tuwaine: And we all had lunch the other day

Harrison: And I’m standing right next to you

Harry: Honestly none of you have any imagination

Tommy to Y/N/N: on my way back and I got you a present

Y/N/N: you got me a present from Sainsburys?

Tommy: yes

Tommy: because I love you

Y/N/N: is it the lemon flapjacks?

Tommy: I knew I shouldn’t have told you

Tommy: how do you guess every time

Y/N/N: because I know you know I like them

Y/N/N: also I love you too xx

Harrison to getting the band back together: Y/N you were right that French guy is definitely still alive

Y/N: I TOLD YOU!!!

Harry: You finally watched unsolved mysteries then?

Tuwaine: Just finished the last one

Tom: how far did you get into the alien one before you turned it off?

Harrison: about half way through

Tom: you beat us then, we gave up after ten minutes

Y/N: I reckon he pulled a von-trapp and hiked over to the next country

Harrison: 100%

Harry: Nah he’s dead mate

Tom: definitely dead

Tuwaine: I’m with Y/N and Haz he’s alive and out there somewhere

Y/N: sorry boys 3 to 2 victory is mine

Y/N/N to Tommy: just came down and found the card and flowers, I love you so much xxx

Tommy: glad you like them, love you too darling

Y/N/N: how are you guys doing?

Tommy: just in line for security

Y/N/N: okay babe have a good flight and text me when you land, love you x

Tommy: will do, love you x

Harry to getting the band back together: Lads there’s been a casualty

Y/N: are you guys ok??

Tom: relax he’s being dramatic

Tom: he’s dropped his phone and the screen protector has smashed

Y/N: for fucks sake Harry give me a heart attack why don’t you

Harrison: So it’s not even his actual screen?

Tom: nah just the protector, screen is perfectly fine

Harry: I’ve had this screen protector for nearly six months and it was still in perfect condition this is a tragedy

Tuwaine: Harry mate you need to get a life

Y/N: Honestly harry I thought one of you had been injured

Harrison: Aren’t you guys at the airport? Can you not grab a new one from duty free before your flight

Tom: already done mate he waited until he’d replaced it to text you

Harry: None of you understand the pain I am in

Tommy to Y/N/N: just landed x

Y/N/N: okay good, have a great time, call me when you can x

Tommy: of course, only an hour ahead of you so will ring when I go to bed

Y/N/N: ok perfect, smile pretty for the cameras

Tommy: always do babe, love you xx

Y/N/N: love you too xx

Tommy: also I miss you already

Y/N/N: miss you too

Y/N to getting the band back together: did you guys know that goats have accents

Y/N: and that goats from different parts of the world can’t understand each other because of those accents

Tom: you what

Harrison: Are you high

Y/N: no it’s a real fact

Y/N: I’ve just learnt it

Tom: right okay

Tuwaine: From who?

Harry: And why?

Y/N: one.attachment

Tom: how the fuck has that ended up in the telegraph

Y/N: because it’s a high quality study

Harrison: The world is mad

Harry: Do you think all animals have accents or is it limited to goats

Y/N: surely sheep

Y/N: because they’re close to goats

Tuwaine: My moneys on cows

Y/N: can’t believe you guys thought I was high when all I wanted was to tell you about a cool goat fact

Tom: how bored are you

Y/N: immensely come home soon please x

Y/N/N to Tommy: really sorry to bother you I know you’re busy but I can’t find the shed key and your dad is on his way to borrow the lawn mower because theirs broke this morning

Tommy: bowl by the front door?

Y/N/N: no I’ve already checked there and it isn’t on the board above the fridge either

Tommy: draw with the screwdrivers

Y/N/N: hang on

Y/N/N: got it thanks, enjoy your day love you x

Tommy: love you too, call you later x

Tuwaine to getting the band back together: Alright I need as much tupperware as possible by tomorrow for a video

Harry: What kind of video needs as much tupperware as possible

Tuwaine: The kind I am making

Tuwaine: You and Tom aren’t even in the country you’re no use to me right now

Tom: we have a whole cupboard of it

Y/N: yeah you can borrow as many as you like! swing by whenever

Harrison: I can meet you there later with some too if you want mate? If that’s alright with you Y/N?

Y/N: of course you don’t need to ask

Tuwaine: alright meet there at 5 you pair of lifesavers

Sam to Y/N: Hey! You aren’t home by any chance are you?

Y/N: hey Sam! I am indeed everything alright?

Sam: Is it alright if I come over in a bit? My laptop crashed this morning and Tom said that if it’s okay with you I could use the desktop in your guys’ home office

Y/N: yeah sure no problem, come over whenever you want

Sam: Thanks! Will be there within an hour?

Y/N: fab x

Y/N/N to Tommy: are you sending people to check up on me

Tommy: what??

Tommy: no

Tommy: obviously not

Y/N/N: you know for an actor you’re a shit liar

Tommy: what gave it away?

Y/N/N: your dad’s lawnmower broke, Tuwaine needed tupperware and Sam’s laptop broke all within a week whilst you’re away was supposed to be a coincidence was it?

Tommy: I knew I should have come up with a better excuse for Sam

Y/N/N: why are you sending them over?

Tommy: I don’t want you to be lonely

Tommy: we spent all that time in lockdown all together, and even when the boys moved out it was still the two of us all the time and now I’m back at work I was worried being in the house on your own would be weird

Y/N: you’re really sweet but I’m alright, you’re not going to be gone anywhere near as long as you used to be

Y/N: also I have my own friends too

Tommy: I know, I’m sorry darling I overreacted a bit

Y/N: I love you so much

Tommy: I love you too

Y/N added Sam to getting the band back together

Y/N: you can all stop making fake excuses to come over I know Tom asked you to check on me but I’m fine

Harry: I knew you’d work it out

Tom: shut up Harry it was your idea to send Sam

Sam: Sorry Y/N

Tuwaine: Yeah didn’t mean anything by it, although I do now have a real reason as I need to return the tupperware

Harrison: Guess this means I don’t need to ring and ask to use your printer

Y/N: you guys are seriously bad at this

Sam: In our defence Tom was the one coming up with the excuses

Tom: you all could have performed better

Tuwaine: Hey I really did make a video with the tupperware to keep up with the lie

Y/N: I can’t wait to see it

Sam: Can I ask about the groupchat name?

Tom: It was Harry

Y/N: Ask Harry

Harrison: Harry thinks we’re a band that have broken up

Tuwaine: Because we all moved back into our own places when lockdown started to ease up

Harry: I don’t know why I bother with you lot

#tom holland #tom holland oneshot #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #harrison osterfield #Harry Holland #Tuwaine Barrett #sam holland #tom holland fanfiction

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suttttton · 3 years

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There’s Nothing More To It (I Just Get Through It)

Written for Febuwhump, Day 6: Insomnia

***

I. Martin

The Institute makes a lot of noises, at night.

That makes sense. It’s an old building. Perfectly normal to hear creaking in the walls, banging in the vents, humming in the pipes. And the noises aren’t particularly loud. Martin’s flat is a block away from a train station, so the Institute is practically silent in comparison.

None of the noises even sound particularly like knocking.

There’s no reason he should be sat upright, his back pressed into the corner of document storage, watching the door as if any moment it’s going to swing open and unleash a flood of worms on him.

The door is locked, he reminds himself. He’s sealed in. No monster, wormy or otherwise, can get him in here. It’s safe.

But—

If he goes to sleep, he might wake up to her knocking.

***

Martin isn’t a fan of coffee. Too bitter. When he pours himself a mug the next morning, he tries to drown the taste in milk. He won’t be able to get through the morning without at least a little caffeine.

He’d managed to snatch a short nap at his desk earlier while Tim and Sasha were coming in. It was… kind of soothing, hearing them move about. They’d kept their voices low for him, which he’d appreciated.

“Yikes, coffee?” Tim says, coming into the break room behind him. “I didn’t think you were the type.”

“I’m not,” Martin says, taking a sip and grimacing. Even tempered with the milk, it’s just—bad.

“Didn’t sleep well?”

Martin shakes his head.

“Nightmares? Or is the cot really that uncomfortable?”

Martin shrugs. He doesn’t want to worry Tim. “It’s just a little weird, sleeping here. I’m sure I’ll get used to it.”

***

He’s so exhausted by the end of the day that he falls asleep as soon as he falls into bed.

And—

There are worms flooding into his flat. He should have sealed everything up, he thought he already had, but he didn’t, and now the worms are closing in. His mother is—somewhere, oh god, are the worms going to get her too? He smashes them as they get too close, and their inky black blood squishes against his skin. But there are so many, and now they’re crawling, squirming, burrowing into his flesh, he’s becoming a hive, a thing like Jane Prentiss, and—

He wakes up, and before he’s even aware that he’s awake, he’s out of bed, scratching at his skin, trying to rid himself of the worms. He can feel them, crawling over his skin, but he can’t—

He blinks, his breathing starting to slow. It was a dream. Just a dream. There are no worms.

He flicks on the light just in case, inspects himself all over. Pulls the blankets off the cot, and shakes them out. There are no worms.

He sits down on the cot, his heart still hammering in his chest, still thinking about the worms. The burrowing—

Something makes a tap tap tap noise, and Martin freezes. It goes on for a long time, and Martin knows it’s her, knows that it’s the worms, knows that they are coming for him.

Then the noise stops. Just another one of those Institute noises. Air in the pipes, or something.

There are tears in Martin’s eyes now. He wishes he weren’t alone. It’s so much easier to be afraid, when you’re alone.

***

He starts buying energy drinks. He’s never been an energy drink person before. When he was a teenager, he’d read an article in one of his mother’s magazines about their adverse health affects, which had seemed serious enough to keep him from using them, even during those exhausting job-hunting years right after he dropped out.

Now that he lives in a world where flesh-hive worm monsters exist, he’s somewhat less concerned about taurine overdoses.

He doesn’t drink them at night. He doesn’t need them—between the noises and the nightmares and his traitorous imagination, he’s lucky if he gets half an hour of sleep anyway. But he can hardly sleep through work, so he drinks one in the morning, and two more throughout the day. They do their job. He doesn’t pass out at his desk.

He’s exhausted, of course. Even at the height of the energy-drink high, he only has a wobbly, sticky kind of energy. A thin veneer to hide how close he is to absolute collapse.

Three days in, Jon snaps at him about some unimportant filing discrepancy. It isn’t Martin’s fault, and Jon immediately apologizes, but Martin almost has a breakdown on the spot. He ends up spending fifteen minutes crying in the bathroom, feeling absolutely pathetic. He knows it’s the sleep deprivation, but Christ.

Four days in, he starts shaking, and he knows, he knows that’s a bad sign. He needs to get some real sleep. And he tries, he really does. During lunch, he takes a nap on the cot, hoping that it’ll give him something, at least. All it gives him is a migraine.

He tries to take tea to Jon, but he’s trembling so badly that he spills a bit over Jon’s desk, soaking a few documents. “Nothing important, thank goodness,” Jon says, but Martin still feels awful.

And now Jon is looking at him. Fantastic.

“Are you… alright, Martin?” Jon asks, sounding genuinely concerned, because apparently concern is something Jon just does now.

“I’m fine,” Martin sighs.

“Is—Is staying here alright? I know it isn’t the most comfortable but is it—”

“It’s fine, Jon,” Martin says, even managing a smile. “Thanks for letting me.” He doesn’t want to imagine how much worse this would be if he had to go back to his flat every night.

“Well,” Jon says, “You’re welcome, I suppose. But—never mind.” He shakes his head, turning back to his work. It’s a clear dismissal, and Martin goes. When he gets back to his desk, he rests his pounding head against the cool table. He needs to figure something out. This is not sustainable.

***

That night, after laying sleeplessly in bed for an hour, headache gradually getting worse, Martin gets up and goes to make himself tea. Usually, he’s too spooked by the darkness of the Archives to bother, but Jon is working late today, and there’s a reassuring crack of light under his door.

Martin gets his tea, starts to head back to document storage, and—stops. From the door to the break room, he can see Jon’s office. He looks over his shoulder, at the ratty couch pushed against the far wall.

He sets the tea down, and returns to document storage, grabbing the blanket and a pillow from the cot. Then he curls up on the couch, his head pillowed on the armrest, knees curled. It isn’t comfortable, and he will be aching tomorrow, but he can see the little crack of light from Jon’s office. He knows he isn’t alone. He—.

He’s asleep before he can even finish the thought.

***

II. Jon

When Martin starts to decline after he starts sleeping in document storage, Jon notices. He notices the first day, when Martin can barely keep his eyes open. He notices the energy drinks that start appearing in the break room fridge. He notices the way Martin’s reaction time slows, the way he loses track in conversations more quickly, the way his face drops at the first sign of strife.

Jon doesn’t know what to do about it. Martin clearly doesn’t want to talk about it, isn’t comfortable coming to Jon for help. Martin is an adult. If he wants to deal with this by downing energy drinks until he inevitably crashes, it’s hardly Jon’s place to stand in his way.

He just…

It’ll kind of be his fault, when Martin crashes. Won’t it?

He stays late at the Institute. He’s been trying to avoid that, trying to give Martin his privacy, but… the Archives really are a mess. Jon can’t avoid staying a few hours after everyone else leaves.

Around ten-thirty, he gets ready to head out. Gathers up a few files to take home with him, puts his jacket on, and then heads to the break room to put his mug in the sink.

He clicks on the light, and startles so badly he nearly drops his mug.

Martin is asleep on the couch.

Why is Martin asleep on the couch?

Sure, the cot isn’t exactly comfortable, but it is leagues better than that ancient, sagging thing. Martin hardly even fits on it!

Jon stares at him for a long moment. He’s brought a pillow out here, and is wrapped up in Jon’s blanket, snoring softly. He looks… peaceful, even if the position he’s curled up in looks distinctly uncomfortable.

He didn’t even stir when Jon so rudely flicked the light on, although… it hardly would have been Jon’s fault, if he had. Martin would’ve known that Jon was still here when he decided to set up camp here. He would have had to see the light under Jon’s door.

Oh.

Jon suddenly understands, and it’s so obvious that he wants to kick himself for not figuring it out sooner, days ago.

Of course Martin would feel scared, being all by himself down here. He’d been alone for two weeks! Of course Martin would want the assurance of other people around!

Jon sets up his laptop on the break room table, and then after some consideration goes to get his desktop lamp from his office. He flicks off the overhead light and keeps working. Martin doesn’t stir.

Around three, Jon packs up and goes to sleep in document storage. After some deliberation, he leaves the lamp on. He doesn’t want Martin to wake up alone and in the dark. Not again.

***

The next night, about ten minutes after Jon hears Martin close the door to document storage, Jon heads over. “Martin?” he calls.

After a moment, Martin opens the door. “Yes?”

“Sorry to intrude,” Jon says. “I just need to retrieve some files. You can go back to sleep. I’ll lock the door behind me.”

Martin looks—a little bit annoyed, to be honest, but he lets him in, and the he just—sits on the bed, watching.

“You can go back to sleep,” Jon says, grabbing a file box and pretending to look through it.

“It’s only nine. I can just wait until you’re done.”

This isn’t right at all. Jon can’t leave until Martin is asleep, reassured by another person’s presence. Jon thinks for a moment, then sits on the floor, taking files out of the box one-by-one.

“What are you doing?” Martin says. He sounds tired. Exactly why he should just go to sleep.

“I’m—sorting,” Jon says.

“Do you have to do that in here?”

“Yes,” Jon says.

“Then—” Martin lets out a sigh. “Can’t you just do it tomorrow? You’re already working four hours overtime, and it’s not like the files are going anywhere. And I am trying to sleep.”

“I—” Martin looks serious, frowning at him. Jon wilts. “Alright. I guess I’ll just—” He puts the box on the shelf and leaves, and before he can turn and say something else, Martin has shut and locked the door behind him.

***

Martin doesn’t sleep well, that night. Jon can tell, because the next day he’s got dark circles under his eyes, and two of his energy drinks disappear from the fridge before the day is over.

That night, Jon tries a different tack. He goes to document storage after Martin has gone to bed, this time with a mug of tea in his hand. Chamomile. He’d read that it was good for sleeping.

“I brought you tea,” Jon says defensively, before Martin can snap anything at him.

“Oh,” Martin says. He looks vaguely confused, but he takes it.

Jon just stares at Martin. There’s a deep exhaustion in his eyes, and it makes Jon ache.

“Well… goodnight, then,” Martin says.

“Um. If you need me, I’ll be in my office. Right down the hall.”

“Okay?” Martin says.

“And—and I probably won’t go home tonight. So, so even if it’s really late, I’ll still be here.”

Martin opens his mouth. “Jon, you need to go home.”

“No, I don’t.”

Martin laughs, slightly, in a horrified way. “Yes. You definitely do. You need to sleep!”

“No, you need to sleep!” Jon snaps.

There’s silence for a moment, and Jon backpedals. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—It’s none of my business. I just—never mind.”

Obviously Martin doesn’t want his help. Obviously. Jon is the one who caused all this, why would Martin want him?

“Jon, what is this about?” Martin says.

“You aren’t sleeping,” Jon says, a bit desperately. “And I know it helps when you have someone else around. So—”

“You’re trying to be around,” Martin finishes. Something in his face softens. “Listen, Jon, I really appreciate the concern, but you can’t just stay here with me 24/7. You need sleep, too.”

Jon taps his finger against his leg several times, thinking. “What if I got a second cot?”

Martin laughs. “Jon, the first cot barely fits.”

“No, you’re right,” Jon says, still thinking. “But what if—What if you came to my flat?” It’s the perfect solution, isn’t it? He’s shocked he didn’t think of it already.

“Jon, I can’t intrude on you like that—”

“It’s not an intrusion,” Jon says. “Not at all.” It is his fault, after all. “You can take my couch. It’s—it’s nicer than the one in the break room.”

Martin opens his mouth, seemingly to protests again.

“Martin, I’m not going home unless you’re with me,” Jon says, planting his feet. “We can stay here, or we can stay at my flat, but I’m—I’m not leaving you alone.”

Martin hesitates, then buckles. “I—Okay.”

***

III. Martin

Martin cannot believe this is happening. He’s in Jon’s flat. Jon is making up the sofa for him. Jon—noticed that he was having trouble, figured out the cause, and went out of his way to fix it.

It… makes Martin pretty emotional, to be honest.

Jon shows him the bathroom, and then wishes him goodnight, heading down the hall towards his bedroom. He leaves the door open.

Martin lays down on the couch, beneath the pile of blankets Jon gave him. His body aches with exhaustion, but it’s... cozy. For the first time since Prentiss, he truly feels relaxed.

Martin sleeps soundly, and he doesn’t have nightmares.

#tma #tma fic #febuwhump #febuwhumpday6 #my fic #insomnia cw #worms cw #nightmares cw #i should really start writing these earlier in the day than like 8pm #but i guess night time is when my brain likes to write so that is when we write

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joshuas · 3 years

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christmas spirit

♫ pairing: park jinyoung x reader

♫ genre: slice-of-life, crack, fluff

♫ word count: 2.9k

♫ warnings: Nil of note!

♫ summary: After a disastrous Secret Santa event two years ago, Park Jinyoung and you had carried an intense rivalry throughout the years. Will the christmas spirit be enough to mend your fractured relationship?

♫ a/n: I’m excited to finally post my first Christmas drabble of the month, with none other than Park Jinyoung as my muse. A little forewarning - a lot of these oneshots have at least some crack concept behind it (at my friends’ requests). Enjoy!

“You’re such a Scrooge, Y/N. Purposely working on Christmas? What have you gotten against “unnecessary gathering of extended family to awkwardly talk about what’s happened in your life, and being constantly hounded to get married by family members that you barely know, and exchange presents with people that have probably gotten you the same thing every year”? You barely show any Christmas spirit.” Your friend, Mina, scoffed, watching you get ready for work. “Okay, first of all, that was a direct quote so everything is wrong with what you just said, since it was literally my argument as to why family Christmas gatherings with extended family is dumb, and yes I do! Look at my scarf! It’s red.” You defended. “Christmas colours are red and green.” She rolled her eyes. “What kind of Christmas spirit are you talking about then?” You raised your eyebrows, placing your hands on your hips. “Oh you know. That hallmark Christmas movie magic - random acts of kindness to strangers, carolling, making dinner for someone who doesn’t have anyone to celebrate the holidays with.” She said dreamily. “Yeah, no. That sounds like a lot of effort and requires talking to randoms.” You said disgustedly. “Well then, I dare you to be kind to the first person that enters your workplace, if you’re so deadset against helping out ‘randoms’.” She smirked. “...fine. But joke’s on you. I doubt anyone will be working on Christmas.” You waved your hand dismissively, grabbing your car keys. “We’ll see.” She smiled mischievously.

Work was extremely quiet, as expected. No one had come in, all opting to spend time with their families over actually getting stuff done. With deadlines in place straight after Christmas, you felt it was your duty, as assistant manager, to support your fellow colleagues in actually being able to meet that deadline. Another, more motivating aspect for you, was wiping the smirk off the other assistant manager, Park Jinyoung’s smug face. You hummed, typing away, “That sentence makes no sense.” A voice taunted over your shoulder. You turned, coming face to face with... speak of the devil... Park. Jinyoung. Even saying his name made your nose crinkle in disgust. Being probably one of the most irritating, hopelessly obnoxious perfectionists this world has ever seen, he was constantly getting on your nerves. You opened your mouth, then shut it instantly, remembering what Mina had dared you to do. Biting back a snarky remark, you fixed your face into a placated, polite smile, “Oh. Jinyoung. Are you the only one in today?” Please don’t be. Please don’t be. Tell me at least one person walked through the doors before you. He scoffed, “What? No comeback? I think you’re going soft on me, Y/N. And of course no one’s coming in today. No one’s as much as a workaholic as you.” You raised your eyebrows, “Speak for yourself. I’ve never seen you come in on a holiday. Don’t you usually hang out with your girlfriend or something?” Something flashed in his eyes, before returning to a blank, guarded expression, “I- You know how much I love to one-up you, Y/N. I’m not here for you. I’m here to beat you.” He sat down in his cubicle beside yours, turning on his desktop. “So... how did you know I was here?” You raised your eyebrows questioningly. “Mina told me.” He said without glancing from his computer screen. “I don’t understand how she’s friends with someone like you.” You muttered, typing away at your report. “What?” Jinyoung screwed his face up in annoyance. “I said—“ be nice, Y/N, “I said would you like a coffee? I was going to make some for myself. Tell me how you want yours made.” You internally groaned as he actually considered what you were saying. “I’ve literally never seen you use the coffee machine. Who’s to say that you won’t poison me?” He said dubiously. “I’ve used a coffee machine before. It shouldn’t be too different.” You said defensively. “...Alright, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and say yes — just black coffee for me.” He leaned back against his chair. You reluctantly got up, forcing a nod and a small smile as you entered the break room.

Turns out the machine was a lot more different than the simple maker you had at home. Wasting half an hour on trying to figure out how to turn on the machine itself, you were seconds away from tossing it in the bin as Jinyoung sauntered up to you, reaching from behind you to flick the power switch on. Swallowing back an irritated remark, you gritted your teeth, painfully expressing your gratitude, “Thanks.” “Now, a thank you? What has the world come to? Are you okay?” He placed his hand against your forehead, “Are you sure you should have come into work today?” You delicately plucked his hand away, “As much as I appreciate your concern for my well-being, I’m perfectly fine and should probably be getting back to work.” “But what about the coffee?” He said, puzzled. “You’re obviously more qualified than me to work the coffee machine, so you can make your own!” You flashed him a grin, patting him on the back as you exited the room.

A steaming cup of coffee was placed in front of you, “I figured you probably still wanted a coffee. You like mochas, right?” You looked at him in surprise, slightly touched by the kind gesture, “Oh! Um. Thank you.” You sipped at the coffee, the warm liquid heating your insides. “It’s okay... wow that was weird to say to you... no comment on how bad it was? Whether I poisoned you?” He looked at you quizzically. “Well— it’s not too bad.” You swallowed your pride back down, allowing him just this one compliment.

The two of you had this rivalry as soon as you entered the firm. Being the ones pitted against each other since being interviewed for a position, as you went up the ranks, Jinyoung was always there. You were almost certain that your work colleagues had helped maintain this rivalry, purely for entertainment purposes. At first, the two of you were pretty civil... until your first annual Secret Santa event, where you both had each other.

[2 years ago] ‘...and now I’ve just been rambling. Basically, what I’m trying to ask is... will you go out with me? Who am I kidding, you probably won’t even read this...’ You crossed out the last sentence, adding the finishing touches to your note in Jinyoung’s present. You wrapped it carefully before heading to work, nerves eating away at you as you went over 100 different ways that Jinyoung would react to your confession. Get a grip, Y/N.

“Who do you have for Secret Santa, Jinyoung?” A gaggle of girls (who had an office pool going for who he had) surrounded the guy, hounding him for an answer on who it may be, and what he bought. “You know, asking him who he has basically defeats the purpose of Secret Santa.” You raised your eyebrows at them as they approached you and your colleagues in the courtyard. Jinyoung flashed you a grateful smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners, as the group of girls dissipated in annoyance. Your stomach fluttered. He was kinda adorable when he smiled. As the gift giving pursued, it soon came your turn. Smoothing down your clothes, you picked up your carefully parcelled gift, placing it carefully in Jinyoung’s arms. Slightly in shock of this revelation, he opened his present, eyes lightening up in excitement as he saw your gift. “Y/N! This— wow. How did you get this?” He gazed at you in wonderment. “Well, a couple of weeks ago you were a little bit upset about missing out on grabbing tickets for a certain author’s book signing. To be honest, it was purely coincidental... I actually really love that series too, and managed to grab tickets. So, I decided to buy you a signed copy of the latest edition.” You explained, blood rushing to your cheeks as everyone gathered around to see his present. He stood up, giving you a quick hug, “Thank you. This is probably the best Christmas gift I’ve gotten.” He whispered in your ear before returning to his seat. “So... Jinyoung, who did you have?” One of your coworkers questioned, looking curiously at the circular shaped present beside him. “Well... I actually had Y/N.” He placed the gift in your hands, his tone slightly laced with nervousness. Curious, you unwrapped the gift to reveal... a stress ball? Not gonna lie, that’s a pretty disappointing gift, considering what you gave him. Your coworkers teased and taunted, “Ooh Jinyoung, are you trying to say something to Y/N?” “What? That they’re a stress head? We all know that. Heck, they should know that.” “Haha... yeah. That’s exactly what I was going for.” Jinyoung said resignedly, trying to scope out your reaction and grab your attention. Dragging your gaze to his, you squeezed the ball, ignoring the unusual hardness within it (great, not only was it a cheap present, it was also faulty?), forcing a small but bitter smile, “Thanks, Jinyoung.” Of course he wasn’t any different to the rest of your toxic colleagues. You ignored the bitterness blossoming in your heart, tears burning in your eyes, as you excused yourself from the courtyard. Mentally cursing yourself as you thought back to what you had written at the end of the book, you prayed he’d never read it. After all, something like that could never happen now. Any feelings you had for Park Jinyoung had been replaced with resentment.

You weren’t one to get too upset over materialistic things like that, but after analysing every other gift he had gotten your fellow coworkers, regardless of the occasion, you felt as though he had been to stingy, perhaps because he disliked you. Perhaps, it also showed how fickle you feelings were for him, but you didn’t care too much about that. And so, the slightly unhealthy rivalry began.

After working solidly for a couple of hours, your stomach grumbled. Jinyoung glanced at you,

“Hungry already?”

Really? He was judging you over your bodily functions? “Of course not.” You turned back to your computer, ignoring further pleas from your stomach. “Y/N. I wasn’t saying that to judge you. I’m hungry too. How about we both head out to the courtyard to take a breather?” He rolled his eyes, and grabbed his lunch, heading for the door, glancing at you expectantly.

The two of you sat in silence on the bench, quietly munching at your food. “Do you remember when we used to do Secret Santa out here?” He asked, glancing at you. “Mhm...” You clenched your jaw. “Your gift still triumphs as the best Christmas I’ve ever gotten. I’ve re-read that book more than any one I own.” He smiled softly, recalling the memory. You almost choked on your sandwich, “You read the book?” “Well... that’s generally what you do when you get a book.” “The whole book?” You pleaded silently for him to answer in the negative. “From cover to cover.” He nodded. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Sensing the silence, he spoke tentatively, “I read your note, as well.” You covered your face with your hands, refusing to interact with him. “...and—“ “And nothing! What you read was just— just an illusion!” You blurted out, about to bolt. “Wait, Y/N. That day. That day was so confusing.” He grabbed your hand lightly, imploring you to sit down again. “Confusing how? As far as I’m concerned, you got me a stress ball for Christmas because I was too much of a stress-head.” Your tone defensive as you crossed your arms. “Wait— so you never found it?” His eyes widened in realisation. “Found what?” You said, annoyed at his cryptic tone. “Do you still have the stress ball?” He asked, impatient. “Yeah, I think it’s in one my desk drawers.” You said uneasily. “Wait here, I’ll grab it.” “But I don’t want you to go through my... okay never mind...” A couple of minutes later, he came back, stress ball... and a knife. You glanced concerningly between the two objects as he cut a square of the stress ball off, taking out a small box. “You seriously couldn’t feel this within it?” He asked incredulously. “Well to be honest, I was more upset at the fact that you got me a stress ball when you got other people better gifts... like how you got Mina the tea set she was vying to get for a while... Also, how? How did you even think of putting a box in there? That’s— I don’t even know. The fact that you think someone would think of getting a knife to cut open a present someone has gifted them astounds me. To me, it just felt like a faulty gift.” You retorted defensively. “Obviously my creativity and quirkiness was lost on you, seeing how you thought I was cheap-skating your present. And, I got you a stress ball because you’re almost always clenching your hands! Yes, you stress, probably a lot more than half the people in this workplace, but I didn’t get you that to make fun of you. Clenching your fists a lot can cause stiffness in your fingers which could lead to rheumatoid arthritis [I’m no medical student but I did some research. Please don’t @ me if I’m wrong!] in the future. I don’t think you want to be paying off medical bills worth ten times the amount of that tea set for physical therapy. Besides, the actual gift is within this box.” He sighed exasperatedly, handing you the box. You opened the lid, revealing the most exquisite looking earrings, the gemstones glimmering under the sunlight. Written underneath the lid was a note, Y/N, I don’t really know where to start with this... but I really like you. Your work ethic constantly astounds me, the way you’re able to complete any task you set your mind to is a quality I wish I had. Not to mention your selflessness and kindness - the way you look out for our team and always go above and beyond what is expected is one of your most admirable qualities. So I hope this isn’t too forward of me, but I’d love to take you out for a date sometime. In fact, meet me at Glow Café at 9am tomorrow morning. I look forward to seeing you there. Whether you see me as a friend or share the same sentiments as me, I’d love your company. — Jinyoung P.S. I hope you like the earrings! I heard that they were your favourite colour :) You looked up at Jinyoung in shock, your heart warmed at the sincerity and kindness of his gift. “I—“ He broke you off, “It looks like we both had the same thing to confess back then. Perhaps if things had turned out differently, we’d be in a different situation to what we’re in now. But hey, we can’t fix the past, but we can change the future. And as much as I adore our banter, I’ve missed talking to you normally without sarcasm.” He held out his hand in a truce. You raised your eyebrows, impressed at his sudden maturity, “Look at you. I guess you’re actually starting to act like an assistant manager for our team. Is the Christmas spirit getting to you or something?” You shook his hand dubiously. “Ha ha. If we’re being completely honest, your sudden kindness did help bring things into perspective for me.” He pointed out. “Really? Wow, the Christmas spirit did get to you.” You laughed. “To be honest, I haven’t really been feeling the Christmas spirit since Yuna broke up with me.” He laughed bitterly. “She broke up with you? Why?” You asked incredulously. “She thinks I’m too much of a a workaholic.” “Welcome to my world...” you sighed. A silence fell over the two of you, as you contemplated in your head. “...So, you’re not spending Christmas with anyone?” He shook his head, looking dejectedly at the ground. Oh whatever. Do it, Y/N. Embrace the Christmas spirit. “Do you want to spend it with me?” You asked tentatively, “as friends. Obviously.” You added quickly. “Are you sure?” He asked, eyes wide. “Dead serious. I’m trying the no sarcasm thing, as you can see.” He laughed, “Okay. I’ll come. As a friend... Do I need to make anything beforehand? Do you need help with cooking? Do you know how to cook? I mean seeing how well you did with the coffee machine, I’m kind of concerned.” He questioned. “Slow down, Gordon Ramsey. Of course I know how to cook. I’m an adult, for God’s sake. And no, you don’t need to bring anything but yourself.” You smiled, standing up. “You speak so much about the Christmas spirit. But this. This is peak hallmark Christmas movie cliche.” He noted, lightly elbowing you. “I guess it is.” You shrugged your shoulders as the two of you went back to work, laughing and chatting away, as friends that had not seen each other in a while. Perhaps it was the Christmas spirit that had brought the two of you closer together. After all, the two of you spent many more Christmas’s together... not just as friends.

✿ masterlist!

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passionate-hedgehog · 4 years

Text

Break Even

AN: The was initially supposed to be an Ian x Reader fic but WHOOPS. This fic took me the longest to write out of any one-shots I’ve ever written. If you like this (or any of my other fics) you can leave a request. They’re always open!

Pairings: (fem)Reader x Courtney, OC x Ian

Word count: 4513

Warnings: Some fucks were given.

m.list

Y/n crouched behind the half wall with her partner in crime. Their targets were visible as they talked at the magazine counter. Y/n was trying to listen in on the distant conversation as the woman next to her kept burping.

“Sorry, Y/n.” The other woman said.

Y/n just waved off the apology. Her mission was still in motion and she wasn’t about to give it up anytime soon. She could see her goal coming to fruition shortly...she could almost touch it.

“It’s getting late, Y/n. I have to be up super early and so does Ian. Besides, didn’t you say that your sister had a flight in the morning?”

Y/n sighed. “Yeah, you’re right Courtney. Let me text Emma and pull her away without Ian seeing either of us.”

The woman took out her phone from her denim jacket pocket and began typing out a message to strategically extract her sister from the situation they were in. In the middle of her typing, she felt a hand on her arm.

“Is...is that my jacket?” Courtney forced Y/n to face her fully. “The one I misplaced a year ago and you claimed you had no idea where it went?”

Y/n didn’t look at her as she kept her phone out in an effort to seem too distracted to care. “No. Why would I still have any of your things? What’s the point of holding on to a broken-”

“Hey. Any reason why you asked me to stop talking to that super cute guy over there?” Y/n’s sister asked as she walked up to the other two girls. “We were having a wonderful conversation.”

Y/n began to pull her sister away by the arm. “You have a flight to catch in the morning. Let’s get back to my apartment to make sure you’re all packed and ready to go, yeah?”

Courtney watched them go with a disappointed expression.

Y/n listened to her sister talk on the phone to the people at the airline while she sat at the table with her cereal and orange juice. Apparently, Emma had been moved to a different flight without asking to be and the people on the other end of the phone were not helping matters.

“But that’s just it, I didn’t call to reschedule my original flight. I wanted to double-check my departure time and when I looked it up, it said that my flight had been rescheduled per my request. But I didn’t reschedule it!! Why would I reschedule my flight?! I have to go back to work.” She paused. “No, I need to get put back on the flight I was originally scheduled for. It’s the one I paid for. I didn’t ask to be moved. That’s not on me. I have a job to go to!”

The younger sister stayed silent as she watched her sister try to fix the problem she found herself in. It wouldn’t be an awful thing if Emma stayed an extra day or two, Y/n felt. It could be nice having someone else in the apartment. It got too quiet sometimes.

Y/n looked up when she noticed her sister took a seat across from her own. “So, what’s the verdict?”

The older sister put her head in her hands. “Can I stay an extra day or two? They’re refunding me but I can’t get on a flight for another few days. I truly hope my boss will give me the benefit of the doubt. I don’t know how I ended up in this situation, but here I am. Stuck in L.A.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. We can do more things now that you’re gonna be here for a few more days. I feel like I don’t get to see you enough as it is. I miss my big sister.” The girl gave a pout.

“Aw, I miss you too. It’s weird not having you back home. Like, I fully realize that you’re a grown-ass adult but you’re still my baby sister. Just...not as annoying as you used to be. What, with all of your meddlings and getting into my things.” Emma smirked and Y/n laughed.

“Speaking of meddling, why don’t you come to work with me today? Check out what I do and stuff?” Y/n got up to put her dishes in the sink and started her tea kettle.

“How soon are you headed out?”

Y/n looked at her stovetop clock before responding. “Eh. In less than an hour.”

Emma stood up and walked towards the guest room she had been using during her stay. “Guess I better get ready so I can go see what my little sister does for a living. And then judge it harshly.”

The two had been in Y/n’s office for a couple of hours when Emma asked why it seemed so quiet.

“The cast is on location to film a sketch. They probably won't be back until later, if they come back at all. I work on unscripted content, so I’m not typically on the location shoots.” Y/n was typing something on her laptop as she replied.

“Didn’t you say you had a meeting in a few minutes?”

“Oh, frick! Oh my God.” The PA quicklu looked through her things and grabbed her needed materials. “It shouldn’t last for too long. I’ll order us lunch as soon as possible. There are some funny compilation videos that fans made that I’ve been watching already loaded up on my desktop if you want to see more of the people I work with.”

Y/n ran out of her office and across the building to the conference room. As she approached the room, she noted that the meeting hadn’t started yet and there were still a few people missing. She walked in and took a seat next to Matt Raub. Y/n discovered that the closer she sat to him, the less he called on her for things. He was on his laptop, probably going over the notes for the meeting. She took out her materials and got ready for what would hopefully be a short conference.

“Hey, Y/n.” Ian greeted as he walked into the room. “The front desk said you have a visitor today?”

The woman looked up from her notes from the previous meeting. “Yeah. My sister was supposed to fly back home today but something happened to her flight details and she's staying with me for a few more days. I hope it’s okay that she’s here. I’m not working on any shoots today so I thought she could visit and see what I do.”

“Yeah, that’s completely fine. We’re getting lunch after this. You should bring her with. Let us know more about you. And hey, if she’s cute…” The president of Smosh let his sentence drift off as he opened his laptop.

“Who’s cute?” Matt Raub looked up from his laptop as he finally joined in the conversation while the rest of the unscripted team filled in the room.

“Nothing, no one.” Y/n quickly replied as she waited for someone to officially start the meeting.

When the meeting finally ended, Ian reminded everyone that lunch was being brought into the break room and it was up for grabs. Y/n exited the room and made her way back to her office intending to convince Emma to eat anywhere that wasn’t there. What she didn’t expect to see was Courtney sitting in one of her chairs, chatting with Y/n’s older sister.

“It was really good to see you yesterday. I wish we would have had more time to hang out.” Emma finished once she noticed Y/n standing in the doorway.

The woman appeared to ignore the actress sitting in her personal space. “Hey, Emma, let’s go out and grab some lunch. I’m craving tacos.”

“I thought you guys were having lunch in the breakroom? I know Ian had ordered stuff.” Courtney mentioned but shrunk in her seat once she felt the heat coming from Y/n’s glare.

“Yes, thank you, Courtney. I had completely forgotten that. That is also an option. It’s up to you, Emma. Go out or stay in?”

Unsure about what was going on in the room, Emma replied with “I know you’re busy today. I don’t mind staying in so you can get more stuff done. Besides, it’s free, right? What’s better than that?”

“Literally anything, but you’re right. I should be responsible.” Y/n rubbed her forehead, she could feel a headache brewing. “Let’s head to the break room. You can meet my co-workers and work your magic. Maybe you can network and find yourself a new job here instead of back home? Be with your favorite little sister more often…”

Emma laughed as she stood up and the two left the room, having completely ignored Courtney. “You’re the one that was so desperate to leave home, Little Sister. I’m perfectly content with where I am. Maybe you should network yourself back home?”

Y/n stopped them before they entered the break room and gave her sister a deadpan expression. “You got jokes, I’ll give you that. My bosses are in here but they know you’re here. They sound like they genuinely want to meet you. Don’t embarrass me. I beg of you.”

The two walked in and were greeted by the sight of the unscripted production team socializing with each other. There was a mixture of people around laptops, which were probably being used by those that were trying to work through lunch. Except for Ian’s laptop though, of course. He, Matt Raub, and Monica seemed to be laughing at something on the screen. It worked out in Y/n’s favor, though, because she didn’t want to go through what Courtney went through. While yes, Ian would never take a joke too far with anyone on purpose, she wasn’t about to give him the chance to even try. She grabbed her sister’s hand and pulled her to the table that held the food. She signaled for Emma to fill her plate and they picked an unoccupied section of the room to sit and eat at.

Y/n was quietly digging into her food when one of the writers came up and asked for her opinion on something. After making Emma promise that she wouldn’t do something...older-sister-like (wander off and tell embarrassing stories about Y/n’s youth), she joined the writer at his laptop and helped him out. A few moments later and Y/n caught Ian and Emma in a conversation that had them giggling. She wasn’t quite sure how to feel about the sight. It made her feel...weird? She wasn’t sure if she liked it or not.

“I don’t know who that is that Ian’s talking to, but it’s nice to see? Isn’t it?” The writer asked while also watching the two from across the room.

Y/n looked at him with an eyebrow cocked. “That’s my older sister. He’s going to make it weird.”

He nodded in understanding. “Like with Courtney’s sister. I get it. But you have to admit, Y/n, they both look decently happy.”

“Yeah…” The woman muttered. “Frick.”

Y/n invited Emma back to the office the next day. The older sister almost declined, she needed a little bit more excitement in her day. Not that she minded a chill day every once in a while, but she didn’t want to do nothing again.

“No, today is going to be completely different. We have to film some things. Plus. you were requested to join a SMOSHcast recording if you want to. No pressure. It might be something fun to do? I don’t know why I said that as a question. It’ll for sure be fun. I've been on a few.” Y/n was pouring her tea into a SMOSH thermos to begin her day.

Emma sat at the kitchen table, half-eaten toast with peanut butter plated in front of her, thinking it over. “Hmm...on one condition.”

The producer cast a skeptical eye. “What?”

“You can’t get mad at me when I talk to Courtney.” Emma continued even though her sister had dramatically groaned. “She was a big part of your life. We’ve always been able to get along. I know that the two of you didn’t have the best ending in your relationship, and I’ll always support you. But Courtney and I have always been able to talk easily. It’s a little hard to turn a complete one-eighty. I haven’t seen either of you in person since before you guys broke up. It’s got to catch up with me. Please, just...give me a minute to get my feet on the ground. I’m not like you. You’re so much more fierce with how you handle the people around you. You love hard and if someone ruins that love, you nip them in the bud as soon as you can. I’m not like that.”

Y/n leaned against the kitchen counter as she crossed her arms and nodded, pondering what Emma was saying. “Yeah. I guess that’s why I like you so much. You’re more forgiving than I am to those that hurt those around me.”

Emma took a deep breath at her sister's words. “I’m sorry.”

“No!” Y/n quickly walked over to her sister and threw her arms around her shoulders. “Don’t be! I wasn’t saying that like ‘Oh, Emma never has my back.’ I meant it like, in a general sense. Like you know when to give someone more chances, but you don’t give too many. You know when to forgive and move on. You know how to separate past heartbreaks from the rest of your life, even if you work with them.”

“You can’t avoid her forever, Y/n. It’s like you said, you work with her. The two of you need to have a mature adult discussion and put it all behind you. I don’t think she realizes how much you’re still hurting over this.”

Y/n released Emma and moved back over to the counter to grab her morning beverage. “You’re right. I know you’re right. But first, I gotta leave before I’m late. I should have been in the car already. If you’re going to come with me, be in the car in ten.”

The two women walked onto the SMOSHcast set, not late enough to where they were already still recording, but late enough to warrant the jokes by the others. Ian was at the head of the table, being the host as usual. Courtney was next to him, much to Y/n’s demise. Emma took the seat next to Courtney to ease her baby sister’s mind, with Y/n taking the end. After they were fitted with headphones and set up with mic stands, they explained to Emma how things were going to go. Then everything went from there.

“Welcome back to another SMOSHcast.” Ian started.

Courtney chimed in with “anotha one”, which caused some giggles.

“Yes,” Ian continued. “That was the magnificent Co Mill.”

“Tis’ I. The actress of the table,” She greeted.

“And we have a special guest today. Well, we have two special guests. But one’s more…”

“I swear to God, Ian. If you say something along the lines of “more important” then I will get my revenge during a Pit video.” Y/n jokingly glared at her boss.

“Well, let’s start with you then. Today, we have Y/f/n Y/l/n, a producer for unscripted content here at SMOSH. She’s great. Even when she’s threatening me. She’s still pretty chill.” Ian looked from Y/n to Emma. “And then our extra special guest is Y/n’s older sister, Emma. She’s not on youtube, or in the industry, but there’s a very specific reason why I asked her to be on here today.”

“Thank you for having me, Ian. I listen to the episodes that my sister appears on and they’ve all been great, so far. I’m very thankful for your invite. You guys seem to have a good time.” Emma took a swig from her very own SMOSH thermos that was waiting for her at her seat when she had sat down.

“Thank you, Emma, for joining us today. How we usually do things is we’ll have some things written down to talk about, a soft outline to keep the show going, but most times we don’t stay on topic. It’s not hard, don’t worry. Just have a good time, okay?” The host

“Ah, yes.” Said woman hummed into the microphone. “The high point of my day. I know it’s only just starting, but I know I’ll enjoy it.”

“Things are about to get interesting for so many people today.” Ian chuckled into his mic.

“Hey, uh, Y/n. Are you as suspicious as I am, right now?” Courtney was looking straight at her, trying to convey that she felt that something was definitely off.

The two oldest at the table giggled, followed by Ian clearing his throat. “So let’s just get down to it before Ryan and Kevin get on me about not having enough material for posting.”

The cast recording went on as usual. They stayed slightly on topic, jokes were dropped roasts were had, serious conversation made it’s round. Things seemed mostly normal for a SMOSHcast, according to Y/n’s standards. Often, Ian or Emma would make a statement to the other person that would cause her and Courtney to glance at each other. They wanted to make sure that the other one caught what had happened.

At one point, Emma attempted a joke that only Ian laughed at. But it wasn’t just a pity laugh. It was almost as if there was an inside thought that only they were in on. Y/n kept shifting her eyes between the two of them. Something was up, she could smell it. At first, she thought the idea was to just make her feel uncomfortable, the way Ian did to Courtney about her older sister. The way the two of them were looking at each other, however, told a completely different story. There was something afoot, she just couldn’t figure out what it was yet.

After one final eye-lock with Courtney, Y/n decided she’d had enough.

“Alright,” she sat up straight in her seat. “What the actual fuck is going on? There’s a mystery amongst us and I don’t like not knowing what it is. Especially if it involves either myself or my big sister.”

“Yeah, you guys are acting v weird. Like v v weird.” The blonde actress chimed in.

The two seemed to have a silent conversation before Emma nodded and sat back in her seat, keeping her eyes on the host the entire time.

“So, Y/n, I convinced you to come on with your sister under the pretense that I wanted to harass you like I did with Courtney. Which, by the way, is one of my favorite jokes, mind you. But this time it isn’t a joke. I sincerely want you to know how I feel about Emma.”

Courtney giggled uncomfortably. “Why do I feel like we’re about to have the opposite of the divorce talk?”

“Oh my God.” Y/n breathed. “Because we are. I don’t...what? You guys JUST met this week. How...What?!”

“Well, Baby Sister, that isn’t exactly true. Ian and I found each other on your social media. Tweet replies happened...and then DM’s...and then texts...and then facetime. This week is just the first time I got to finally see him in real life. And I gotta admit,” Emma winked at the host. “I like in-person a heck of a lot better.”

Ian blushed and looked at his laptop while Y/n remained lost beyond all words. She watched her sister and then watched Ian. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. When had this all started? How deep into their relationship were they?

Ian leaned into his mic, but Y/n had a feeling it was because it got him closer to Emma. “I decided to bring this onto the pod because I wanted to share with everyone where I’m at in life and how I’m feeling about it. And honestly? Emma? I love you. And I’m very thankful that I get to have you in my life. I hope I get to have you next to me for a very long time.”

Y/n swallowed and put her hands on her headset before pulling them off and standing up. “Excuse me.”

She quickly walked off of the set. She kept her head down as she made her way to her office, ignoring the people in the hallways. Once she got to the room, she closed the door and started taking breaths. She didn’t understand her reaction but she couldn’t take it back. She couldn’t believe she walked out of the podcast recording. What was she thinking?

Y/n expected a knock on the door at some point, but what she wasn’t expecting was the person behind it when she opened it. Courtney shyly let herself in and closed the door behind her.

“We wrapped it up. Finnerty thinks there should be enough material, even if they take out the last ten minutes of what was recorded.”

Y/n sat at her desk and laid her head in her hands. “They don’t have to cut it out. It’s my fault, not theirs. They wanted to talk about it, so it should be heard. It shouldn’t be up to me.”

Courtney sat across from the producer. “You know Ian would never put something out there that made any of us uncomfortable. Yeah, it’s his love life, but it’s your family. We’re all family. We look out for another.”

“That’s not why I’m upset, Courtney!” Y/n threw her hands into the air. “I’m happy for them! If they make each other happy, then more power to them! It’s not about Ian and Emma. I mean, yeah, it triggered something. Because now I have to worry even more about my personal life and my business life fucking together. Because it went so well last time!”

Y/n realized she was shouting and apologized quietly to the other girl that had closed her eyes and stayed silent through the tantrum. Neither of them said anything for what felt like hours, but it was only minutes. The producer drummed her fingers on her desk as the actress nibbled at her lip.

“For what it’s worth,” Courtney started. “I’m sorry. About everything. Between us, I mean. I had no idea any of that was going to happen during the recording. But with you and I...we could have had a healthy breakup. Neither of us took it well and it didn’t help that I hooked up with some random friend the next day. It was only a distraction.”

Y/n looked up and met her eyes. “No, Courtney. You don’t owe me an apology. Not for that. We weren’t together anymore. You were allowed to do anything, anyone, that you wanted. That’s the freedom of not being in a relationship, right?”

“I did it because I knew you could see me. I played it off like ‘fuck it, I don’t care’, but really I knew at any given second you could catch us getting close. And for that, I definitely should apologize.”

Y/n gave a pathetic attempt at a smile to keep herself from crying. “I honestly loved you, Courtney. We were together before you were even out. I felt honored. And then right before you planned on coming out, we broke up. I thought that you were going to come out and that I would be right there with you.”

The tears seemed to be contagious, and Courtney started sniffling. “I wanted you to be there with me. I think I got scared. At first, I was so hyped, but when the day came...I thought it would be better for my image, or what the fuck ever lame excuse I had, if I came out and was single. But I think I was just scared of our relationship. I was absolutely falling in love with you, too, and it scared me. I hadn’t felt that way before and I just kept picturing it crashing. I had no clue how to save it if it did. I decided to hit the self-destruct button. It had to be easier if I was the one that ran it into the ground, right?”

“I was really mad at Emma yesterday when I came in here and watched how easily you two talked to each other. It’s been almost a year and I still don’t know how to ask you how your day has been. And when I saw you two laughing as if our breakup didn’t break me...I think I was jealous. Not because I want our relationship back, but because I wanted what we were before our relationship happened.” Y/n began wiping her nose with one of the tissues she kept by her monitor.

“I miss it, too.” Courtney gave a half-smile. “Maybe one day we could make it back there?”

“I’d like that, Court.”

“It wasn’t you guys.” Y/n found herself in Ian’s office with Emma sitting on his couch, coffee in the older sister’s hand. “I, in no way, am upset at you guys finding someone that you love. If I can speak frankly, I panicked because I saw my personal life and my professional life crumbling down around me and it terrified me. I can’t help the fact that you two found each other. And you two are not responsible for how I reacted. I’m still dealing with the last time those two parts of me crashed and burned. I want you guys to know how much you mean to me as individuals and I can’t wait to see how you two are together.”

Ian was sitting at his desk. He thought through Y/n’s words before carefully choosing his own. “I would never want to do something, as your boss, to make you feel uncomfortable outside of this building. If this isn’t for you, Emma and I being together, then let me know. Yeah, it might suck, but you were my producer before I met Emma. My first priority was and is my work. And you’re a part of that. So if it does start to be too much for you, then please let me know. Don’t ever feel like you’d have to choose between Emma or here.”

Y/n made her way to his side of the desk and hugged him around his shoulders. “I know this isn’t your thing but deal with it for a few seconds. Today has been a lot. We both need this.”

When Y/n released her hold she kept her hands on his shoulders. “But, real talk? If you hurt my big sister I’ll hide your body so fast, no one will know.”

#smosh ian #smosh #smosh fanfic #smosh courtney #courtney miller x reader #break even #passionate-hedgehog #ian hecox x oc #is this another smoshcast

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umbraastaff · 5 years

Text

I’ve just been thinking--it’s about time I make a proper index for my TAZ fics, huh? Also contains: mini-series, ficlets, goof posts, and lyric comics.

(All of the fics are rated G, or T at most for McElroy-appropriate language.)

FICS

I Saw Seven Bounties | Canon Compliant, Enemies to Friends, Complete | Mostly lighthearted, episodic recounting of Kravitz and Barry’s rivalry throughout those first twelve years on Faerun. 24K. -->Extras: Lich Eyes, Fantasy Starbucks, Alt POV for Chapter 1 & Chapter 5, Sorry

They Say Fire Took Phandalin | Small-town supernatural/sorta-haunted-house AU | Fresh out of grad school, Barry Bluejeans takes a job and a house in the rural nowhere-town of Phandalin. And it’s not like he thought fitting in would be a walk in the park, but the people there all act really weird, and it’s almost like they’re expecting something of him, too. 11K/~20K.

What Can’t Be Done Alone (Detective Squad) | Canon Divergent, Found Family, Fluff | AU where the voidfish works a little better, and Angus never finds the Bureau. Instead, he finds a strange lich in a cave, and he most certainly continues to work this case and not gradually get adopted instead. 18K/~22K. -->Extras: Drangus AU Oneshot

If I Wanted to be Funny I’d Name This Fic “The Time Belt” | Futuristic sci-fi AU feat. time travel | Taako meets the only people in years who recognize the Institute’s name. Known time criminal Barry Bluejeans continues to evade law enforcement. 2K/??.

Overgrowth / Undercurrent | Roleswap AU, Johnchurch, Pining, Twoshot, Happy ending optional | Overgrowth is a oneshot that follows John, the Starblaster’s chief diplomat, through a series of parleys with Merle, the center of the plane-consuming mass of plants that’s been chasing his crew. Undercurrent is a sequel about their post-canon reunion. 4K + 6K. --> Extras: PLAYLIST by @merle-casts-zone-of-truth

Davenport Remembers | Post-canon, Oneshot | Davenport meets with his crew members to try to reconcile his anger with Lucretia, or to decide whether he should. 1.5K.

MINI-SERIES

AU Where Taako is a Lich - Pretty much what it says on the tin here, folks!

Baritz (ask series) - A fusion of Barry and Kravitz, who took over my blog and answered asks for a while. (He originated in the Gallows/S&S lyric comic.)

Good Adventures (Good Omens crossover) - The Antichrist’s wishes summon the wrong boatful of aliens. Thankfully, it seems they’re apocalypse experts. [with plot-ideas help from @avijohann.]

Omen Zone (Good Omens crossover 2) - Barry is a demon. Kravitz is an angel. Kravitz probably won’t ever admit that they’re friends.

Pokémon: Century Version (Pokémon crossover) - Stolen Century AU where they’re all pokémon trainers. Faerun spin-off: Double Trouble

Till Death, Don’t Let’s Start - Barry fucks up. Kravitz is present.

Very Normal Blog Posts (ask series) - In which Garfield is not at all dangerous, and I am perfectly fine. <alt: chronological link - desktop only>

COMICS & ART

Gallows/Steady and Stronger (Double lyric comic) - Canon-divergent AU where, as the world is ending, Barry gives up to Kravitz. [Image description version]

[Lyric Comics] - Other, shorter lyric comics based on single verses of songs.

Dear Scientist’s Log (series) - Illustrated ship logs from Barry J. Bluejeans.

Movie Madness (Comic) - Barry obsesses over the unforgivable.

Palette Prompts (Arts) - Art from art meme prompts.

Pregananant (goof comic) - You know the one.

REAPER (Comic) - Baritz fuses with Lup.

These Jeans? (Animatic) - Barry advertises jeans.

They’re Both Tessa Thompson (Comic) - Lucretia has a nightmare. Barry reassures her.

War (Goof comic) - prompt: "taakitz with CAT”

What’s bigger than this? - The Red Robe.

FICLETS

Back Soon - Kravitz leaves a note with unfortunate wording.

Bodyswap: Barry & Davenport - During Wonderland.

Casual - AU where the red robe talks like a normal person.

Command - Barry misuses his magic.

Davenport - There’s something unsettling about that butler.

Hangin’ Out - Lup and Magnus.

Harvest - Roleswap AU: Barry is the Hunger.

Healing Necromancy - Merle tries to teach Barry some tricks.

Hope - Barry knows she’s still out there.

How Long? - Taako is frustrated.

In Pieces - The staff.

Liches Forget Too - AU.

Lucretia Forgets - In which there was a mistake with the voidfish ichor.

Lup’s Robe - Gifts from Taako.

Mourning Glories - The flowers in Merle’s beard.

New Years - Celebrations and fears.

Parole - Barry and Kravitz bonding hours.

Phone a Friend - Baritz (the fusion from Gallows/S&S) meets Angus.

Raising the Dead - Barry has to use his crew members’ corpses. [sequel]

Robbie...? - Magnus breaks into the brig immediately after Petals to the Metal.

Second Apocalypse - Based on that one party liveshow. What was the rest of the crew doing, again?

3 Sentence Fics - Pairing + AU prompts.

Smartstone - Lup gets stuck in a Stone of Far Speech, instead.

Stir Crazy - Barry waiting for a new body to grow. Thoughts of Lucretia.

Writing Things Down - In case you forget (again).

You Remember - Taako remembers.

PROMINENT GOOFS

Barry’s Dead - But he’s fine! Calm down!

Character Development - Joke’s on you, DM!

Crystal Kingdom - An absolutely bonkers arc.

Dealer - Merle pun.

Decapitate Me - for making this post

Don’t Care - Taako during the finale. [bonus]

Epilogue - Bracer struggles. [bonus: 1, 2]

Explain the Hunger (Good Omens crossover) - Magnus explains the hunger to Aziraphale and Crowley. They react in varying ways. [with cursed art contributions from @avijohann and @mspainttaz]

Fifteen Dollars - Plus interest. [Bonus]

Fullmetal Kingdom - They’re the same, right?

Gender - And lack of roles.

Gnomes Don’t Exist - They’re all aliens, actually.

Hot Diggity Shit - Been a while.

Icon Confusion - The saga of people thinking my icon is a carrot. [chrono link - desktop only]

Incomprehensible Denim - Jeff Angel’s illegal pants.

In Case it Changes Anything - Taako, Kravitz, and lies.

Irresponsible Teens - Magnus and Lucretia get into trouble.

I Saw Seven Nerds - That’s the post.

Gogurt - Taako’s crimes.

Learning to Drive - i.e. Barry & Davenport Bonding(?) Hours.

Live Shows - The general mood.

Lucretia’s Efforts - A proper meme? On my TAZ blog?

Lup Said No Thanks - That time Magnus was in a tree.

Magnus’ Death - So many close calls.

Nearest Middle-Aged Woman - Clint’s characters’ friends.

Necromancy? - You must be mistaken!

Ned’s Aliases - The Truth.

Pirate Debt - Davenport during that one liveshow.

Punch Squad - SQUAD!

Reaper Cloak - Thoughts.

Relic Names - She probably changed them.

Responsible Necromancy - Good and bad ideas.

Resume - It’s not like they thought it would be relevant.

Schools of Magic - And the Sash was what, again?

Self Care - Respect the dead, please.

Server Shenaniganry (art) - TAAKO THE CAT, NO!

Soulmate AU - Where your soulmate’s greatest enemy is on your wrist. [alt]

Stern’s Truth - You Know.

Taako’s Last Name - Taako’s last name.

Team Composition - The post where everyone wants to argue with me about what qualifies as a wizard.

Third Option - Taako saves the day.

You’re Laughing - End of Suffering Game.

THEORIES/MECHANICS/THOUGHTS

Aloof - Holes Taako refuses to fill.

Barry’s Lucky Possessee - Graphic novel theory hopes & dreams.

Catpiling - Stolen Century thought.

Davenport’s Deaths - Sucks when you always wake up driving.

Death Leaves a Mark - Stolen Century AU concept.

Everyone Else - Some people didn’t get perfect endings.

Fantasy Nonsense - lore about the word “fantasy,” as in “Jesus Fantasy Christ.”

Fragments - Magnus’ memory.

Forgiveness - Old post about the crew’s thoughts on Lucretia’s actions.

Forgot to Erase - Lucretia’s errors.

FULL TIMELINE POST - the Balance timeline.

Gauntlet - (disproven!) Theory about the final relic, from before it was confirmed in the show.

Gnome Nicknames - Thoughts on Cap’nport.

High School AU - Some old headcanons.

Home World Names - The pattern in surnames (or lack thereof) on the IPRE’s homeworld.

Hour - This isn’t a thought so much as an Actual Thing That Magnus Said before the time loops had started, which is absurd.

Idiots in Love - The IPRE’s collective braincell was lost for all of Legato. [2]

Liches, Alone - Being stuck as raw emotion for an awfully long time.

Losing Julia - And subsequent developments.

Love - What was remembered and forgotten.

Love Without Fear - Thoughts on bonds during the Stolen Century.

Memory - Barry actually shouldn’t have remembered anything.

Nickname - Memory of Lup.

Paladin Barry Theory - Converging evidence on Barry’s multiclassing.

Paradox AU - blueprint for 8th, 9th, 10th, etc. Bird AU of your choice(s). (Extra)

Phylactery Mechanics - How liches differ.

Produce Flame - Mechanics of John killing Merle.

Recklessness - THB’s actions recontextualized.

Relic Schools of Magic - They don’t have them!!!

Relicswap AU - Where all the birds get swapped out.

Seven Birds as Gods - Ask-prompt thoughts.

Staring at the Sun - The birds and their light sensitivity.

Story, Song, & Sorcery - Effects on the young population.

Sword Tornado - Magnus Mechanics. [bonus: Time Warlock]

The Good Place AU - A series of crossover thoughts.

Tree Climbing - Davenport shenanigans.

Unique Magic Types - [and combo styles]

What Killed Maureen - hint: it wasn’t Fisher.

#the adventure zone #taz balance #mine #index #there were a fair few in here that id forgotten about too!#god i hope i didnt mess up any of these links

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jokertrap-ran · 6 years

Photo

Collar X Malice ~Unlimited~ Limited Tokuten drama CD

「 I'm him and he's a cat 」

*Spoiler free: Translations under cut * Will be added to master-list soon *Thank you @mineokun and @merlinii for proofreading!

Commissions open!

CollarxMalice -Unlimited- Limited Tokuten drama CD.

I'm him and he's a cat

Mineo: Whoa, the lightning seems to be coming closer to us now.

Okazaki: You’re right…

Okazaki: I have to hide it snugly under my shirt.

Mineo: Right? Wait, Okazaki!? I’ve had enough of you getting me into trouble! Didn’t I tell you to stop your unlawful trespassing!?

Okazaki: Sorry about that but I happened to chance upon this cat outside.

Okazaki: It seemed terrified by the lightning so I thought that it could take shelter here.

Cat: Meow...

Mineo: A cat?

Shiraishi: It’s No.26. It’s a scaredy cat so wouldn’t it be sad if we left it outside?

Mineo: Shiraishi’s actually being kind!?

Mineo: Spears won’t start plummeting from the sky instead of lightning now, would they…?

Shiraishi: Hehh... Is that all you have to say?

Mineo: Ah, no, I was just…

Shiraishi: I heard the god of lightning gives a person gangrene as punishment. I’d like to see whatever you’re reduced to...

Shiraishi: How about you go on your belly and roll around in the grass for a bit?

Mineo: No hecking way! Besides, that’s just a superstition!

Sasazuka: Shut up. You’re all being way too noisy. If you want to kick up a fuss then do it outside.

Sasazuka: Also, getting struck by lightning might help fix your stupidity while you’re at it.

Okazaki: Hm? Takeru, aren’t you being way pricklier than usual?

Yanagi: There’s a chance that the storm might cause a power failure when it hits. I’m currently working on the computer here but…

Okazaki: Ahh, I see. You’ll lose all your data on the desktop if there’s a power failure.

Mineo: Hey, you guys think Hoshino’s okay? I think she said that she was going to pop by the office today.

Shiraishi: Eheheh. This is you we’re talking about, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you were thinking of getting closer to her in this huge storm.

Mineo: HUH!? N-No, not really… I wasn’t thinking anything like that! Besides, she’s just a fellow investigator… I wouldn’t do something like that!

Sasazuka: Well, you can relax. That stupid cat hasn’t noticed one bit.

Mineo: Ngh!

Okazaki: Don’t cry, Mineo. You can leave the role of hugging her as the lightning strikes to me!

Yanagi: Hey. Don’t declare your plans for sexual harassment in the middle of his turmoil.

Mineo: Damn it! All of you making fun of me! You’re making a big mistake if you think I’ll stay a naive teenager forever!! When it really comes down to it, I...!

Mineo: Hoshino, are you afraid of lightning?

Mineo: Have no fear. I’m by your side, aren’t I?

Mineo: Heh.. Still scared?

Mineo: Don’t mind the lightning. Instead of the lightning, look at me...

Mineo: I’ll make you fall so hard for me, you won’t have time to be scared.

Mineo: ARGHHH--!! Just how bold can I get?! Ngh…

Shiraishi: Would you look at that... He’s getting all riled up over his own imagination.

Sasazuka: It’s his final hour. Leave him be.

Okazaki: It’s great to see he’s always having fun.

Yanagi: Enomoto, calm down a little would you?

Mineo: Ah--! I was too caught up in my imagination…

Mineo: But now, my heart is ready!

Mineo: I’ll become a man today!

Okazaki: 100 yen says he can’t.

Sasazuka: 100 from me too.

Shiraishi: I’ll go for 1000. Wait, but this won’t work as a bet at all...unless…

Shiraishi: Yanagi, will you bet on him succeeding?

Yanagi: Sorry, Enomoto. I don’t want to pay up these guys…

Mineo: Y-Yanagi, not you too! You’re going to crush my dreams before they’ve even begun!?

Yanagi: No, I know that you’ll strive to attain your goal. I know that, but…

Mineo: That’s fine… I’m a loser who isn’t anything like you at all, not even my wit can compare…

Shiraishi: Oh dear, what have you done, Yanagi? He’s withering!

Yanagi: If you really want to get to the root of this problem then weren’t you guys the one who started it?

Yanagi: Don’t treat Enomoto like a plaything!

Sasazuka: Isn’t his overly-active imagination also to blame here? Even though he has no courage to make it into reality.

Okazaki: Right, let’s see… How about we lower the hurdle?

Okazaki: Maybe just touching hands would work out fine?

Shiraishi: Enomoto, you should be able to do it if it’s merely touching hands, right?

Mineo: O-Of course I can! Be my witness, for I’ll grasp Hoshino’s hands the moment she comes waltzing in!

Okazaki: Grasp, you say? Just a little nudge will work fine.

Sasazuka: You might get punched in the gut if you do it too casually.

Okazaki: Don’t really want all your enthusiasm to go to waste like that, you know?

Mineo: N-No way!!

Yanagi: Enomoto, don’t go latching onto their words like a lost puppy.

Yanagi: Just go at your own pace. Don’t force yourself.

Mineo: Ngh! What a force that can even penetrate Susano himself!

Mineo: As expected of Yanagi-senpai, what a great learning experience!

Sasazuka: But the main point here is about the stupid cat, no?

Sasazuka: She’ll come over braving that huge storm if we don’t do something about it.

Yanagi: I guess I should contact her just in case and tell her that she doesn’t have to come by if she can’t manage it. That way’s much sa-

Mineo: Uwah!!

Mineo: Hweeh!

Mineo: What, what!? Is it an enemy attack!?

Sasazuka: Relax, it’s just thunder.

Sasazuka: Damn it, I do hope my data’s still safe…

No.26: Meow? Meeoww!

Okazaki in Yanagi’s body:Ah, the cat’s frightened. It’s okay, everything’s alright. The light will come back on in a while.

No26 in Okazaki’s body: Meow! Meoww?? Meow-

Mineo: O-Okazaki? What’s with you all of a sudden?

Sasazuka: DId you get shell-shocked by the lightning or something?

Okazaki in Yanagi’s body: Me? I don’t particularly mind some thunder and lightning.

Okazaki in Yanagi’s body: I wonder why Yanagi-san yelled…?

Yanagi in Shiraishi’s body: From that tone of voice, Okazaki?

Okazaki (Yanagi;s body): Hm? How unusual for Shiraishi-san to drop the nicknames.

Yanagi (Shiraishi’s body): I’m not Shiraishi...I’m Yanagi.

Mineo: Come onnnn! What’s up with you too, Shiraishi-san!?

Mineo: That joke isn't funny in the slightest!

Sasazuka: No wait. Yangai-san’s acting weird.

Sasazuka: The tone he’s speaking with is disgusting.

Yanagi: Although it seems like Enomoto and Sasazuka are perfectly fine.

Mineo: Eh? W-What do you mean by that?

Okazaki (Yanagi): Oh! The light’s are back on.

Okazaki (Yanagi): But...Uh, I’m in front of myself now. How is this happening?

No26 (Okazaki): Meow…?

Mineo: Hey! O-Okazaki don’t rub against me!

Mineo: You’ve been meowing since earlier. What are you!? A cat!?

Sasazuka: Are you for real? Is this even possible?

Yanagi (Shiraishi): I don’t really want to put much thought into it but this seems like reality.

Sasazuka: I would have written it off as a joke if it was only Okazaki-san and Shiraishi-san who were affected but…

Sasazuka: To think that even Yanagi-san’s acting like that…

Okazaki (Yanagi): Does this mean that I’m Yanagi-san now?

Sasazuka: Yeah, he really does gives me the creeps.

Yanagi (Shiraishi): That kinda stings, Sasazuka. How about you choose your words a tad more carefully now?

Shiraishi (No26): Meow! Meow!!

Yanagi (Shiraishi): Shiraishi wouldn’t keep his silence in a situation like this...So that means that he’s this cat here?

Shiraishi (No.26): Meooooww!

Mineo: What are you going on about, Shiraishi-san? There’s no way you can turn into a legitimate cat as much as you adore those feline crea-

Mineo: OUCH!! W-What!? The glare this cat’s giving me’s a little scary…

Mineo: You looked so peaceful back when the lights were still on!

Sasazuka: Like I said, their bodies were switched.

Enomoto: Ohh! I see!

Enomoto: HUH!? THEY SWITCHED BODIES!?

Yanagi (Shiraishi): Yeah. You might not believe it but it seems like everyone has switched bodies with the exception of you and Sasazuka.

Enomoto: No no, aren’t you being way too calm about this whole thing?

Enomoto: Why isn’t everyone kicking much more of a fuss than this?

Yanagi (Shiraishi): We can’t do anything but to accept it because this is reality we’re talking about.

Yanagi (Shiraishi):Judging from your actions and attitude towards me, I guess I’m parading around in Okazaki’s body.

Okazaki (Yanagi): That’s right. We just have remain level-headed and deal with this issue. You must be Yanagi-san, despite looking like Shiraishi-san.

Yanagi (Shiraishi): Yeah. And inside Okazaki…

No.26 (Okazaki): Meow? Meoowww???

Okazaki (Yanagi): Is the cat that I bundled into here, huh.

Sasazuka: So that means that Shiraishi-san’s inside the cat and…

Shiraishi (No.26): Meowwwww.

Enomoto: This is...him?

Enomoto: I want to think of it as a joke and all but...It does give off similar vibes…

Shirashi (No.26): Meow...Meowww!!

Enomoto: This cat’s been on the edge since earlier...I bet he’s really elated about this turn of events!!

Sasazuka: Well, leaving Shiraishi aside, I don’t think we can leave Yanagi-san and the rest alone like that.

Yanagi (Shiraishi): Of course, I have absolutely no intentions of living as Shiraishi.

Okazaki (Yanagi): Hmm, I do like my own face and I really have no confidence in being a reliable dad like Yanagi-san.

Enomoto: Uwah, it really is Okazaki inside that body…

Enomoto: Speaking in that manner while parading around as Yanagi-senpai’s a spell for disaster…

Yanagi (Shiraishi): Yeah, It’s way harder seeing myself speak like that even though I’m in Shiraishi’s body.

Okazaki (Yanagi): How mean! I’m just speaking like how I usually do.

Sasazuka: That’s why I’m telling you not to do it while you have Yanagi’s face! It’s disgusting…

Sasazuka: Lightning struck when you all switched bodies, right?

Sasazuka: So wouldn’t it all go back to normal once lightning strikes again?

Okazaki (Yanagi): Oh! You’re right, that might work!

Okazaki (Yanagi):I should try doing things that only Yangai-san would do since I’m in his body now!

Enomoto: O-Okazaki...What are you planning to do in his body!?

Okazaki (Yanagi): Of course, if we’re talking about things that only he would do...It has to be none other than this.

Okazaki (Yanagi): Phew- Ack! cough!

Okazaki (Yanagi): What’s this? How do you even smoke something like this?

Yanagi (Shiraishi): Don’t get all teary-eyed over a little smoke…

Yanagi (Shiraishi): But still, why smoking?

Okazaki (Yanagi): Being an SP means that your body has to be in top form so we can’t smoke.

Okazaki (Yanagi) :But...Hmm...I can’t really say that it’s delicious…

Enomoto: Yanagi-san, don’t you have anything you want to do now that you’re in Shiraishi’s body?

Enomoto: It’s best to enjoy yourself in cases like this, just like what Okazaki’s doing.

Yanagi (Shiraishi): Now that you mention it...I can’t really think of anything.

All: Whoah!!

Shiraishi: Oh? I’m already back to my original body, huh. And here I was thinking of napping on top of Enomoto’s head. What a pity...

Yanagi: You’re probably the only guy who’d enjoy being in a cat’s body.

Shiraishi: Oh, Yanagi-kun. I see you’re back to normal, which means Okazaki-kun and the cat should also be…

Okazaki (No.26): Meow!

Shiraishi: There, there No.26! Not...You’re not No.26...Someone else’s inside it…

Shiraishi: This floaty vibe it’s giving out...Isn’t this Okazaki-kun?

Yanagi: What? Then who’s in Okazaki…?

Enomoto (Okazaki): Geez! I’m so glad that Yanagi-senpai has returned to normal!

Enomoto (Okazaki):This is such a relief!!

Yanagi: Huh?

Yanagi: He looks like Okazaki but judging from the way he speaks...It’s Enomoto within, isn’t it?

Yanagi: And so, the one who’s inside Enomoto’s…

Sasazuka: The worst possible situation. I can’t believe I switched with an utter idiot.

Yanagi: You must be Sasazuka.

Yanagi: Which means….

Shiraishi: Calm down No.26. You’re now someone called Sasazuka Takeru!

Yanagi: Is this really the time to be explaining things to the cat?

Yanagi: This has turned out into another troublesome string of events just when I thought everything was solved...

Enomoto (Okazaki): I don’t understand anything anymore! But if anything, an SP’s body’s really top tier! So light! Seems like I can easily do jumping jacks now! How about I try it out…

Sasazuka (Enomoto): Stop making a ruckus, you dimwit. You’re just kicking up dust.

Shiraishi: Sasazuka-kun, you’ve got to be louder if you want to cut in like that.

Shiraishi: Now, how about you try doing it like how you usually does instead of muttering like that?

Sasazuka (Enomoto):Nope. I don’t want to waste my energy on this at all.

Shiraishi: Hmm? I thought you’d be more enthusiastic about it since you’re in Enomoto’s body…

Shiraishi: Perhaps I was mistaken? But his face does look a lot smarter than before…

Okazaki (Enomoto): Shiraishi-san! Stop saying such rude remarks!

Okazaki (Enomoto):I’m always reasonable and logical!

No.26 (Sasazuka): Meow…?

Enomoto (Okazaki): Oh! The cat’s making Sasazuka look different for a change! In a good way!

Enomoto (Okazaki): Hehe, it seems like it’s enjoying itself with that white grin!

Shiraishi: Wow, to think the day I’d see Sasazuka-kun in a wide smile has come…

Shiraishi: Better take a picture of commemoration.

Sasazuka (Enomoto): You bastards, I’ll remember this!

Yanagi: Sorry to interupt your fun but wouldn’t it be bad if lightning strikes again and we all get switched up because of it?

Yanagi: In worst case, we’ll be stuck like this forever.

Enomoto (Okazaki): T-That’s a big problem!! I can’t live as Okazaki! Impossible!!

Enomoto (Okazaki): Can’t you do anything about this, Yanagi-senpai!?

Shiraishi: Oh! How about falling from stairs?

Shiraishi: Thankfully, we have one just right outside!

Enomoto (Okazaki):No, no, no thank you! We’ll all die if we did that!

Sasazuka (Enomoto): Although you’ll still feel the initial impact.

Sasazuka (Enomoto): How about I punch Mineo with all my strength to test that out?

Enomoto (Okazaki): Stop it!! Don’t say such crude things while you have my face on!

Sasazuka (Enomoto): That’s fine because Okazaki’s body is the one who’d die.

Enomoto (Okazaki): No but aren’t I the one feeling the pain!?

Shiraishi: Hehe, Okazaki-kun going full-on assault is really new! How interesting it is!

Yanagi: Shiraishi. Stop fooling around and think of a solutio-

All: Uwah!!

Enomoto (Okazaki): It striked again!

Yanagi: I...I’m still me.

Yanagi: How about the rest of you?

Okazaki: I’m back to myself. This body’s the most comfortable after all.

No.26 (Shiraishi): Meow…

Okazaki: Shiraishi-san, would you have preferred to remain a cat?

No.26 (Shiraishi): Meow?

Yanagi: This…

Yanagi: Hey Shiraishi? Say something, would you?

Shiraishi (Sasazuka): Yeah, right. I’m right here.

Enomoto: Ugh!! Shiraishi-san! You’ve become Takeru!!

Shiraishi (Sasazuka): That’s true. I was a little surprised because I suddenly grew much shorter, although not as short as a cat.

Sasazuka (No.26): Meoww!!!

Enomoto: Urk, the cat’s angry.

Enomoto: Could you perhaps be...Takeru?

Sasazuka (No.26): Hiss!!

Yanagi: So Shiraishi became Sasazuka, Sasazuka became a cat and the cat’s Shiraishi this time?

Okazaki: This certainly is confusing…

Shiraishi (Sasazuka): How’s my body No.26? Can you speak?

No.26 (Shiraishi): Meow…

Shiraishi (Sasazuka): I see. Words are difficult, aren’t they?

Shiraishi (Sasazuka): I’d have loved to hold a conversation with you if I could but…

Enomoto: No that wouldn’t happen in a normal situation!

Enomoto: Besides, don’t talk like that in Sasazuka’s body!! It makes my hairs stand on their end!

Yanagi: I feel like we’ll slowly get back to our normal bodies but I can’t say for sure about the next hit…

Enomoto: Whoah!!

Shiraishi (Sasazuka): Huh? I’m still Sasazuka, though.

Shiraishi (Sasazuka): Has everyone gone back to normal?

Yanagi (Shiraishi): No. I’m supposed to be Yanagi but…

Yanagi (Shiraishi): Why am I Shiraishi yet again?

Sasazuka (Enomoto): Why am I the fool, Mineo, again?

Sasazuka (Enomoto): I demand a change.

Okazaki (Yanagi): I’ve become Yanagi-san again.

Okazaki (Enomoto): So that means the one with my face’s Mineo-kun, right?

Enomoto (Okazaki): All 5 of us swapped this time!? Are you for real…

Enomoto (Okazaki):Only the cat’s back to normal!? WHat are we gonna do about this!?

No.26: Meowww

Shiraishi (Sasazuka): I guess there’s no other choice but for us to fall down the stairs.

Shiraishi (Sasazuka): How about we start from Enomoto-kun?

Enomoto (Okazaki): No, no. Shiraishi-san should start it off since you’re the one who brought it up.

Sasazuka (Enomoto): Hm?

Sasazuka (Enomoto): Who’s here in the midst of such chaos?

Okazaki (Yanagi): Wouldn’t that be...her?

Okazaki (Yanagi):Didn’t she say she was coming round?

Enomoto (Okazaki): Ah! Now that you mention it!

Enomoto (Okazaki):What should we do about this, Yanagi-senpai?

Yanagi (Shiraishi): I don’t want to worry her unnecessarily.

Yanagi (Shiraishi):I wouldn’t do anything about it if I could.

Sasazuka (Enomoto): You mean, you’ve given up.

Shiraishi (Sasazuka): I’m Sasazuka-kun, huh. So you mean that I have to say things like “That’s all., period.” and “pochie”?

Enomoto (Okazaki): Shiraishi-san, Takeru’s eyes don’t twinkle like that! You’ll be suspicious if you don’t cool your gaze down a tad or two.

Shiraishi (Sasazuka): I see. Aren’t you glad you’re Okazaki-kun, Enomoto? You won’t get found out so long as you act all floaty.

Okazaki (Yanagi): Ehh. Just don’t act like an idiot.

Enomoto (Okazaki): Mmngh! I don’t know what I should do when I’m being yammered at left and right…

Yanagi (Shiraishi): Let’s just try our best to impersonate who we’re in right now.

Yanagi (Shiraishi): I’m going to open the door then.

Okazaki (Yanagi): Ah, you’ve finally managed to come by. Come on, over here.

Yanagi (Shiraishi): Wait. There’s no need for you to be holding her hand if you’re just guiding her to her seat, right?

Okazaki (Yanagi): Eh? Was it a no go?

Enomoto (Okazaki): Are you blind!? Yanagi-senpai’s a lone wolf!

Enomoto (Okazaki): He doesn’t stick to people and gets his hands all over them like that!

Yanagi (Shiraishi): Hoshino, it would be better for you to not get closer to this guy.

Sasazuka (Enomoto): Although that would mean not getting any closer to Yanagi-san. Are you sure about that?

Yanagi (Shiraishi): A-Ah, right! He’s not feeling quite well today, you see. So I think you’ll be safe from his bugs by keeping away from him.

Shiraishi (Sasazuka): Hehe, it would do you well to heed Shiraishi-san’s words else you’ll come to regret it, pochie. That’s all.

Sasazuka (Enomoto): What is it, stupid cat? Everyone’s acting funny?

Enomoto (Okazaki): Aren’t we all the same?

Enomoto (Okazaki):Everyone’s blatant about it…

Shiraishi (Sasazuka): Hey, this isn’t the time to be blanking out. You’ve got to keep watch over her.

Yanagi (Shiraishi): Don’t play around in this situation. Honestly…

Yanagi (Shiraishi): You’ve not made a move to change even though I’ve already warned you so many times.

Okazaki (Yanagi): Shiraishi-sa- Shiraishi. You’re acting just like a dad.

Yanagi (Shiraishi): Who’s a dad you sa- Ah! No...Nothing.

Shiraishi (Sasazuka): Heh? That’s how I am when brooding? I don’t really get to see that much so I’ll take my time to observe…

Sasazuka (Enomoto): Shiraishi-san. You’ve got no intention of acting like me at all, do you?

Enomoto (Okazaki): You guys! No- All of you! Wouldn’t it be bad if we don’t take this seriously? Humph, humph!

Sasazuka (Enomoto): Who are you now?

Enomoto (Okazaki): Huh? I’m Okazaki…?

Okazaki (Yanagi):I can tell that you’re trying your damnedest but that’s a little different from how I usually am.

Sasazuka (Enomoto):Well, I guess that’s all an idiot can accomplish.

Enomoto (Okazaki): W-What’s up Hoshino? I-I’m not acting like myself? How can that be?

Enomoto (Okazaki): Seasalt chocolate and the like are really delicious, aren’t they?

Okazaki (Yanagi): Eh!? I’ve eaten marshmallows of that sort but there’s also chocolate?

Enomoto (Okazaki): Yeah! I’m sure there was.

Enomoto (Okazaki): My! Kei-kun’s really funny, it’s hilarious!

Okazaki (Yanagi): I sound kinda disgusting now…

Okazaki (Yanagi): Mineo-kun, just leave it at that.

Sasazuka (Enomoto): You’re not one to talk either.

Sasazuka (Enomoto): You’re going to bust your cover just by speaking.

Enomoto (Okazaki): Ugh! It feels frustrating to be backing out at this point…!

Enomoto (Okazaki): If I have to say something else that he’d say…

Enomoto (Okazaki): Oh, right! I’m Okazaki right now so-

Enomoto (Okazaki): Doesn’t that mean any skinship I have with girls will be taken as a normal occurrence!?

Okazaki (Yanagi): Hold up! Don’t go committing crimes with my face, yeah?

Shiraishi (Sasazuka): I don’t think you have to worry too much about that since Enomoto’s within your body.

Sasazuka (Enomoto):Haa…

Sasazuka (Enomoto): Mineo, don’t make me repeat myself a hundred times over. I told you to sit still and sit put!

Enomoto (Okazaki): Uwargh! That hurts!!

Enomoto (Okazaki): Hold back a little, would you!?

Sasazuka (Enomoto): Huh? I just punched you normally.

Shiraishi (Sasazuka): That’s because Enomoto-kun’s body is packed with strength so I think it’ll be quite a hit even if it’s just a normal punch.

Sasazuka (Enomoto): I see. So it’s perfect for exacting revenge upon one hit?

Enomoto (Okazaki): M-Mineo-kun? Aren’t you making one hell of a scary face there?

Enomoto (Okazaki): T-That’s not good at all! That eyepatch and outfit really makes you look like a bad guy.

Sasazuka (Enomoto): I was thinking about how it’d be to finally be able to punch you with all my might.

Sasazuka (Enomoto): I’d never have thought that my wish would come true, albeit in this form but I’m not complaining.

Enomoto (Okazaki): Wait, wait! Calm down!!

Enomoto (Okazaki): Nothing will be solved from you punching the daylights out of me!

Enomoto (Okazaki): You’ll only be injuring Okazaki’s body, see? So think about it more rationally.

Sasazuka (Enomoto): That’s enough out of you. Just let me hit you already.

Enomoto (Okazaki): Uwoh! My body moved on it’s own accord?

Shiraishi (Sasazuka): I see. So reflexes still stay with the body, huh.

Okazaki (Yanagi): I really wish you wouldn’t do whatever you like with my body, though.

Okazaki (Yanagi): But then again, they’re already starting a brawl right there…

Okazaki (Yanagi): It would be better to stop them.

Shiraishi (Sasazuka): Yanagi-kun would normally be the first to step in in situations like this, so…

Shiraishi (Sasazuka): I’ll leave the rest to you.

Okazaki (Yanagi): Hmmmm. “Idiots!!!” Would that stop them?

Yanagi (Shiraishi): Why would you think of that?

Yanagi (Shiraishi): Have I ever stopped anyone by yelling something of that sort?

Okazaki (Yanagi): Wait, you haven't?

Yanagi (Shiraishi): No.

Yanagi (Shiraishi): Really now. Hey, knock it off. That goes for both of you.

Enomoto (Okazaki): Damn! As expected of me, how tough!

Sasazuka (Enomoto): Tch. Just a little more and I'd have him.

Yanagi (Shiraishi): That's enough so just sit put. Sorry for surprising you Hoshino.

Yanagi (Shiraishi): Forget him acting like an officer, he's just like Yanagi-san himself…

Yanagi (Shiraishi): Well I...Just felt like I was in the mood today.

Yanagi (Shiraishi): Hm? What? Got something you need from me?

Shiraishi (Sasazuka): You're giving Shiraishi-san a present? Heh.

Shiraishi (Sasazuka): A cat tag, huh. Wow. Tiger-stripped, mottled and black cats. What a great assortment you have there.

Okazaki (Yanagi): Yanagi-san, she'll figure that something's off with Shiraishi if you keep mum in front of cat accessories! You have to react!

Yanagi (Shiraishi): Yeah, you certainly do have a point there…

Yanagi (Shiraishi): Ah, the cat's...Cute. Especially this one here with it's belly up. I'll add it to my cat collection at once…

Okazaki (Yanagi): P-Pft!

Okazaki (Yanagi): A-Aren't you glad, Hoshino?

Okazaki (Yanagi): Shiraishi….

Okazaki (Yanagi): Pfft-

Okazaki (Yanagi): Really elated over your gift!

Yanagi (Shiraishi): I want to die right now.

Shiraishi (Sasazuka): Hm? You bought me donuts? Oh, okay.

Shiraishi (Sasazuka): Hey, I don't need the donuts so how about you give me the cat tags instead?

Yanagi (Shiraishi): S-Sasazuka!

Okazaki (Yanagi): Ahh...He went for the cat accessories rather than the donuts huh...

Enomoto (Okazaki): Hey, hey! That totally wasn't like Takeru at all!

Sasazuka (Enomoto): Seems like even the stupid cat caught onto something. How about I take those donuts off her right this instance?

Enomoto (Okazaki): This isn't the time for you to be doing that!

Enomoto (Okazaki): We really can't fool her any longer than this with how we're all acting!

Enomoto (Okazaki): Since this is the case, we have to explain this bizarre situation to her-

All: Uwargh!?

Enomoto: Whoa, the lights!

Yanagi: Hoshino! You okay?

Okazaki: The lights went out earlier and came back after a while. It should be the same this time round too so just sit still, okay?

Shiraishi: Say, where did you buy these cat tags?

Sasazuka: Talking about cats at a time like this...Well, I guess that's just like Shiraishi-san to do so.

Enomoto: Oh! The lights are back on.

Sasazuka: H-Hey.

Sasazuka: Does this mean that-?

Okazaki: Everyone seems to be back to their usual selves.

Shiraishi: Wow, you're right. It was really fun but it was starting to get a little troublesome so I guess all's well.

Yanagi: Oh, right-- Hoshino, pay no heed to us. It's a personal matter of ours.

Yanagi: Putting that aside, it seems to be really pouring out there so you'll be better off staying here for a while.

Okazaki: Ah! Could you be scared of thunder?

Okazaki: Then how about I hold your hand?

Okazaki: You won't feel as scared if I do that, right?

Enomoto: Don't touch her you sketchy bastard!

Enomoto: Well, it's just like what Yanagi-senpai said. You should just spend the time here since it's dangerous with all that lighting and around outside.

Shiraishi: That's right. I couldn't really observe her because of all the big fuss going in earlier and I wanted to ask about the tags too.

Sasazuka: But still, were you serious when you said that you brought snacks in this plastic bag like an idiot?

Sasazuka: I'll give you one as a reward considering how you made an effort despite your stupidity.

Enomoto: How high up your horse do you really have to act?

Yanagi: Hoshino. I made some hot chocolate for you. Have you eaten dinner yet? How about I make you something if you haven't?

Shiraishi: Oh! Fried chicken sounds good!

Yanagi: I'm not asking for your opinion here.

Okazaki: Fried chicken's delicious, isn't it? Yanagi-san, could I get 10 of those?

Enomoto: Hey!! Why are all of you placing your orders!? There's no friend chicken for you to eat!

Okazaki: No way...And here I was, intending to keep quiet about how you used my body to sexually harass her!

Okazaki: Should I spill it all if we're going to cut our friendship?

Enomoto: Yanagi-senpai!!! I'm relying on you for Okazaki-kun's share of fried chicken!!

Yanagi: Guess there's nothing else I can do about that. Hoshino, are you okay with fried chicken too?

Shiraishi: Yay! Seems like we're all decided on fried chicken.

Shiraishi: I'll be your conversation partner till it's done then!

Okazaki: That's selfish of you, Shiraishi-san! I want to talk to her too!

Sasazuka: Stupid cat. I've not seen this donut packaging before. Where did you buy them?

Enomoto: Oh no I'm late!! Hoshino! Don't you have a souvenir or something for me too?

Yanagi: Haa...Seems like this will be one lively dinner.

Yanagi Aiji, Morita Masakazu.

Okazaki Kei, Kaji Yuki.

Enamoto Mineo, Saito Souma.

Sasazuka Takeru, Namikawa Daisuke.

Shiraishi Kageyuki, Kimura Ryohei.

#Collar X Malice #Collar X Malice Unlimited #Collar X Malice -Unlimited-#CxM #Otome #Otomate #Drama CD #Translations

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broken-clover · 5 years

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ACC Day 9- Phone Calls

...this one was kinda obvious, wasn’t it. This was like the first one I was able to schedule when I started doing this because it was way too obvious to not do. I apologize if my lack of creativity is disappointing.

So, yeah, today I’m using Answer. Surprise?

For whatever reason, Answer would much rather talk through a phone than talk to a real human in the flesh. For most people he knew, even neurotypical ones, they seemed to prefer it the other way, hating phone calls and preferring human contact. Even for as bright as he was, Answer wasn’t entirely sure why that was. Maybe it was easier because it was harder to mess up. All he had to worry about was using the correct tones and relay the proper information, and not much else.

When talking to a real person, there were so many more variables. He had to keep a close eye on body language, and for as powerful as his memory was, it still wasn’t encyclopedic- or even perfectly reliable, considering how differently people could react to the same words. The best he could manage was calculation and probability, picking the best possible option.

It seemed like secretary work was the sort of occupation that he had been built for. He could make the calls and organize the paperwork and make the plans, and Chipp could be responsible for the seemingly-unstoppable morale. Answer really didn’t know where the man got it from, but it certainly made for a more productive work environment. A happy staff was a more efficient staff.

Despite what a lot of people were lead to believe, Answer never felt particularly demeaned or overworked by his boss. There were times when the papers could pile up, but he could only blame Chipp so much. A lot of it wasn’t really his fault, just bureaucracy in action. In any case, he felt a bit ungrateful to complain. Chipp had been remarkably accommodating and accepting of his...peculiarities, as it were, morso that anyone else had been before. Chipp never made him feel weird when he stimmed. He barely even gave it a second look.

He wasn’t particularly confident doing it around others quite yet, but Answer was happy to let himself stim peacefully within the safety of his office as he worked. He could make phone calls and work on documents while he traced abstract shapes against the desktop with the calming pressure of his scarf wrapped against his face. Chipp was currently working on some negotiations a couple hours east, leaving him working alone to keep things smooth and orderly.

“Hello, sir? This is Answer, calling on behalf of the Chipp Kingdom. We began some discussions recently on a possible collaboration between settlements? Yes, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble…”

The man was a skilled multitasker. He jotted down a few notes on the current financial document, easily crunching the numbers and writing out a sum on the bottom.

“Excellent, I’m very honored that you would be willing to speak with me. I’m fully aware that you’re a very busy man- pardon, could you hold, please?”

Another call patched through as he grabbed a new paper and ran a hand through his hair. Maybe he needed to go feed the frogs...

“So very sorry for taking so long, ma’am, I know your time is very valuable. I was merely hoping we would be able to discuss the trade agreements? I greatly appreciate your contributions to our cause.”

“Apologies for the wait, sir, where were we? Ah, yes, would you be willing to compromise on the border line in exchange for an increase in manpower?”

Keeping track of things all at once wasn’t as hard as it seemed. A certain amount of work in a certain amount of time, all a matter of numbers to be checked and organized based on the schedule he had. It was what he did best.

“By all means, we’re very open to discussions-”

“I would be happy to set you up with a 4pm time block on thursday-”

“Are these terms and conditions acceptable for you?”

In the middle of yet another negotiation, an unexpected notification popped up. Answer hadn’t been expecting any more, but he let the call come through regardless.

“Hello, this is Answer?”

“Heya, man!”

“Boss?” He recoiled in his seat. “I wasn’t expecting you. Is something wrong?”

“Something wrong? Nah, everything’s great!” Answer found no reason to not believe him, based on his cheery tone. “Just wanted to call and say the meeting’s over. A few more villages decided to join!”

“Excellent work, boss. I was hoping it would go over well. You do have a knack for inspirational speeches.”

“Aww, well aren’t you a flatterer?” He could practically see Chipp’s smirk. “Anyway, I’m starting to head back. Just wanted to make sure you were managing well by yourself?”

“Everything’s fine, is something worrying you?”

There was a pause on the other end. “Ehh, I just know you tend to work too hard. You aren’t getting burnt out, right? Is the clicker helping?”

Answer paused in the middle of a calculation. “Clicker?”

“Oh, damn it-” The call went muffled. He was about to ask if everything was alright when Chipp spoke up again. “Sorry about that. Didn’t I tell you? I got it from Axl the last time he came over for a drink. Said it was really good for stimming with? It should be in your desk drawer.”

More than a little confused, Answer tugged the drawer open. Amidst the neatly-stacked paper, there was a little something nestled in between that resembled something like a lightswitch, in a similar red to his scarf.

“Did’ja find it?”

After looking the device over, Answer pressed on the switch. It made a satisfying little click as it turned. “Yes. It’s a very nice gift, boss.”

“I hope it helps! I’ll be back soon, okay? See ya!”

The connection switched off. Answer gave the peculiar object another look, and gave it a couple more clicks. A smile curved under his scarf.

Well, back to work he went. There was still plenty to finish before Chipp got back.

#autistic creative challenge #writing #guilty gear #Answer #chipp zanuff

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marcfromthevoid-blog · 5 years

Text

The Void Chapter Three: Richard

Hello, there. My name is Marc. I am the only person unlucky enough to have been trapped in the Void for one whole year. If you read the previous chapters (If you didn’t, what are you doing here?) you’ll know that the Void is an alternate reality where seven-hundred people are taken out of our world and thrown into a day between Thursday and Friday. I am documenting my time there in hopes of helping anyone who has been stuck there and also to help myself maybe. Day Two I woke up with my baguettes and a pounding headache. I looked at my alarm clock. I was supposed to be at work forty-three minutes ago. I jumped out of my bed, threw on my clothes, and raced out the door. As I was texting my boss to say I’m sorry I’m late and I’m on my way I looked up to unlock my car. Which would, of course, require there to be a car in my driveway. Someone had stolen my car. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said annoyingly as I ran to my garage. I pulled my bike out of storage and rushed to the jail. I arrived an hour and twenty-one minutes late, but no one seemed to care. I got to my office to see a note. “Come to my office asap - Sheriff” On my way to his office, I saw Superintendent Arnolds holding his unplugged desktop and facing the window gazing out into the trees. “You okay, Arnolds?” I asked “Yes… Yes, I’m okay… Do you believe in God, Ian?” he asked me as he turned around to face me. “M-my name is Marc, sir. You know that.” I replied “Ah… yes… Marc. So, do you? Believe in God?” he asked again “... Is there a problem with your desktop. Arnolds?” I asked, hoping to change the subject. I knew he was an atheist and didn’t want to cause an argument. “Oh… No… I was just about to take it on a walk. I’ll be back in two minutes.” He mumbled before walking out of the building. I got to the Sheriff’s office and knocked on the door. “Gahhhhh! Don’t come in here! I’m very talking to Gary Busey on Facebook!” I heard the Sheriff scream in a panicked voice. “Oh, a-alright. I’ll be out here” I said. An hour passed before the door opened. The Sheriff rushed out the door throwing on a jacket and running down the hallway. He went around the corner as I called his name. I heard his footsteps stop as soon as he got out of my eyesight. He came calmly walking back my way and removed his jacket. “Ah, Marc. I’ve been waiting quite some time on you. Please, step into my office.” He said sounding somewhat upset. “I knocked on your… Okay, sorry, sir.” I walked into his office and sat down in one of the chairs across from his desk. The Sheriff sat down, started to ask me a question and then slammed his head on his desk before he could finish. “Sir, are you alright?” I asked as I stood up in shock Blood dripping from his forehead he looked up at me and replied “Yes, I’m fine. Just a bit weird today. It’s completely normal and all under control. Nothing weird here, Marc.” He leaned down under his desk and pulled out a pillow. He adjusted it perfectly on his desk, laid down his head, and fell asleep. I didn’t know what to do, so I waited a few minutes and then walked back to my office. The sticky note that was there from Sheriff Torrens was missing. I shrugged it off. I could have thrown it away without remembering, I suppose. Right when I sat down, I heard a knock on my door. I shouted for whoever knocked to come on in. A man in a jail officer uniform walked in. I had never seen him before in my life. I could tell he wasn’t a new guy, and I know every officer that works in this building. I figured with how stressed and lost I had been lately that he was one of the employees that I just saw less than others but did in fact know. Something about him seemed strangely familiar. I quickly read his nametag. Richard. I wanted to at least pretend I knew him in case I was right. “Hey, Richard, have a seat. How can I help you?” I asked enthusiastically trying to hide my confusion “Hi, Marc. I was wondering if you could fix my phone. It won’t connect to the jail wi-fi.” He said with a friendly tone as if we had been friends for a long time. “Sure. Let me see.” I replied. I got connected on my first try. “Hm. Worked fine for me. Maybe you entered the password wrong?” I asked politely. “Hah, yeah, probably. I’ve been known to make that kind of mistake before” he replied as he stood up and grabbed his phone. We both gave a polite chuckle and he backed up to the door. “Well, thanks for the help. See you around, bud!” He said as he shut my door. “How weird,” I thought. “I swear he isn’t employed here, but something about him is so familiar… Oh well, what do I know? I’m just the IT guy”. After I got back from my late lunch, I went down to master control. Officers Ford and Vega were on duty. Ford was a ripped tattoo wearing beast that could rip me in half but took to liking me. Vega was a small, skinny, honestly border-line pathetic guy. No one really knows how he got the job. Despite their differences, Ford and Vega got along quite nicely. Standing by them in the shadows of where the lights ( before I get crap for not doing my job, lights are the maintenance guy’s division) had gone out on that side of the room stood a silhouette of a man. He was tall, kind of built, and stood with his arms crossed watching the monitors of the suicide watch inmates. I knew the figure right away. It was Richard, from earlier that day. I couldn’t figure out what about this Richard guy was so familiar. “Everything good over here? I know things just magically break on their own whenever Ford is working.” I said in a joking manner. “Go away, Marc,” said Vega without even turning around. I was surprised to hear Vega say that. Me, Ford, and Vega are always messing around with each other. I stood there for a minute, but Ford and Vega just kept facing the other way not saying a word. I looked at Richard who was now on his phone texting. He looked up at me, smiled, and gave me a nod. I nodded back and then headed back to my office. I couldn’t help but keep thinking about that situation. Did I do something to make them mad? Was Vega upset that I was late? I got back to my office and clocked out. I was getting dizzy and needed to go home early. It was a slow day and no one needed much help. I got home, ate my tv dinner, and got in my bed. Before I even closed my eyes I turned my head and saw the two baguettes. I quickly grabbed them and held them close. I closed my eyes and fell asleep. Alright, guys, I’m sorry that it was a long one. That was a crazy day for me. Thank you for reading this, and I hope you are getting something out of all of this. Have a good week. Marc Out

#thevoid void blog story storyblog marc richard penguin voiday thursday friday weeklystory jail baguette IT norman sheriff

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quicksilversquared · 6 years

Text

Pictures on the Wall

It started as a tickle of a thought in Alix Kubdel's mind- wouldn't it be funny to plaster Marinette's room in pictures of her crush?

She didn't expect a TV crew to show Marinette's room on TV before her friend could fully finish cleaning the room up.

(Troublemaker fix-it/AKA why Marinette has So. Many. Pictures. on the wall)

(FF.net) (AO3)

It started out as a tickle of a thought in the back of Alix Kubdel's mind. She snickered briefly at it and then refocused on her homework, re-reading a passage for French Lit.

But the idea was not forgotten. Not fully, at least.

"I don't think he's capable of taking a bad photo," Marinette said dreamily the next day as their little group of girls sat together during a break between classes. She was staring at a page in a fashion magazine. Alix didn't have to be a genius to deduce that Marinette was talking about Adrien yet again. "He's just so-"

"I'm pretty sure that his father and the photographer probably weed out any photos that aren't great," Alix told her, cutting Marinette off before she could finish her sentence. She really didn't need to hear about how dreamy or handsome or bla bla bla Adrien was another time. Ever since Marinette and Alya had decided to "let her in" on the "secret" of Marinette's crush on Adrien (it wasn't a secret. It really wasn't. Even Kim had caught on ages ago, which said something about how obvious Marinette was), she had had to hear Marinette's gushing.

(Alix was starting to think that Alya had only pushed to let the other girls in on the 'secret' so that she wouldn't have to put up with the Adrien-talk by herself. As much as it could annoy her, Alix couldn't really blame Alya for that.)

Besides, Adrien was hardly dreamy and cool all the time Anyone who believed that believed in a lie, because Adrien was a giant dork. Anyone who spent more than a few minutes with him knew that much. It was hard to keep a straight face around Marinette's dreamy sighs over Adrien when Alix had seen him fighting to keep a pencil balanced on his nose longer than Nino earlier in the day and pouting when he lost, or when she had spotted him making outrageous hair styles with his ridiculously long hair.

(Despite what Marinette said about Adrien being able to pull off any look, Alix knew better. Adrien could not pull off a mohawk. It just... no.)

Still, Marinette was stubbornly shaking her head. "I bet they only have to choose between great photos! He does a great job with his modeling-"

And Alix tuned her out, mind churning deviously as the others discussed ideas for having Marinette ask Adrien out.

Surely there had to be some awkward photos of Adrien out there, considering how much of a following he had in Paris and how many photos got snapped of him on a daily basis. And some of his fans would post any photos of him, even bad ones, just to prove that they had seen him.

Alix decided to make it her personal mission to track all of those photos down to bury Marinette under them. And what she found made her very, very happy.

There were so many photos of Adrien looking supremely uncomfortable as he was pulled into a selfie with one fan or another (those got cropped so Adrien's ridiculous expressions filled the whole screen). There were photos of him dashing down the street away from fans, photos of him laughing with friends, photos of him with his bodyguard and Nathalie, photos of photoshoots but from another angle, photos of him getting photoshoot makeup touched up, photos of him messing around and purposefully pulling weird faces.

In short, there were a lot of photos. Not all of them were good. Alix cackled as she printed them all off and stuck them in a folder to bring to school. She would have to spring them on Marinette when Adrien wasn't anywhere in the vicinity or else face the combined wrath of Alya and Marinette (which she was not willing to do), but she was sure that that wouldn't be that difficult.

She wasn't expecting Alya to intercept her first.

"Oh, you should put those up in Marinette's room and see how long it takes for her to notice," Alya's voice said with a snicker several minutes before homeroom started. Alix jumped and spun around, abruptly abandoning her conversation with Kim. Alya stood there, perusing Alix's folder of ridiculous Adrien photos. How she had snuck up completely undetected was... well, it was very Alya. "I bet it would take her a while to notice."

Alix snickered at the suggestion, remembering her original idea of absolutely plastering Marinette's room in Adrien photos. It would be a good way to tease her about her crush a little bit while maybe helping her realize that she should calm down about having pictures of Adrien up everywhere. "Or I can mix in actual decent photos with these and then stick them in all sorts of weird places."

Alya grinned. "Such as...?"

"On the walls, under her bed, in the desk drawers..." Alix added, that original funny idea coming back full-force. She grinned, then glanced towards Marinette's normal seat. It was empty, as was Adrien's seat up front. "Where is Marinette, anyway? She's running late again."

Alya threw a look over her shoulder and then shrugged. "Who knows. But that gives us time to plot." Without waiting for further answer, she slid onto the bench next to Alix. "So, show me what you have!"

It wasn't difficult to find a time to sneak into Marinette's room when Marinette herself wasn't there. It was difficult to find places to put all of the photos they had dragged up.

And there were a lot. Along with the less-than-good photos, Alya had dragged up a whole slew of photos from old magazine ads Adrien had done, as well as screenshots from some of his commercials. Alix was a bit worried that the poster putty she had brought wouldn't be enough.

"At least her desktop picture isn't so awful anymore," Alix commented as she reached over the computer to attach one of the pictures on the wall behind it. "That was...yikes."

"I think she changed it when Adrien came over to play Mega Strike," Alya told her. She handed Alix a smaller photo to hang next. "And then she went with an, uh, unaltered photo next, after he left. I don't remember if she lost the collage one somehow or what."

"Good riddance to that one," Alix muttered. She clambered off of Marinette's desk, making sure to replace everything on it where it had been. "Okay, where should that next poster go?"

Half an hour later, Marinette's room was thoroughly decorated and she and Alya were puzzling over what to do with the leftover pictures.

"We can't put them too high, or Marinette won't be able to get them down again," Alya said. She flipped over a particularly bad photo of Adrien doing what appeared to be a Vulcan salute. Alix had maybe done a teensy bit of Photoshop on it to make an already pretty bad picture worse (and to get rid of the "fan" who, in Adrien's defense, looked slightly unhinged), and she was...well, a bit creeped out by the result would be the most accurate description. "Where did you find this?"

"Photoshop."

Alya snorted in amusement. "Oh, gosh. Okay, let's stick these under Marinette's bed and on the underside of her chaise and see how long it takes for her to notice. There's no point in wasting a perfectly good picture."

"Or a perfectly awful photo." Alix made another face at the Vulcan salute photo and then handed it to Alya to take. "Okay, yeah, good idea."

It didn't take long to stash away the rest of the photos and get the rest of their mess cleaned up so that they could go. Alya led the way towards Marinette's trapdoor, opening it and starting to climb down.

Alix paused, turning to look back at the room one last time. An inkling of doubt crept up her spine. "You're sure there's no way that Adrien would see this? He wouldn't come over to play video games again before Marinette can clean up?"

Alya shook her head. "Nah, he wouldn't come over out of the blue. And you know he would never go into Marinette's room without her permission, and she would want to clean up her normal posters before letting him up. Believe me, it'll be fine."

"I hate you," Marinette announced the next day at school as soon as she saw Alya. She was pouting. "Very funny."

Alya tried not to grin. "It was Alix's idea first. She helped me."

"I hate you both."

"Aren't you going to take the pictures down?"

Marinette glanced up from her homework at Tikki. "Hmm?"

Tikki pointed to the pictures covering all of Marinette's walls. "The pictures! Shouldn't you take them down?" She frowned at Marinette. "You aren't thinking of leaving them up, are you? Marinette..."

"I'll take them down, just not right now," Marinette said, turning back to her homework. "I just don't have the time! I'm really behind on my schoolwork, thanks to all of the akumas we've had, and I shouldn't prioritize cleaning photos off of my walls over that."

"Oh, that's smart." A pause. "But you'll take care of it soon, right?"

"Of course!"

"Marinette, about these pictures..."

Marinette shook her head, eyes not leaving the computer screen in front of her as she typed. "This is due tomorrow. I'm already on thin enough ice with Madam Mendeleiev, I can't possibly ask for an extension for no apparent reason. It'll have to wait."

Tikki considered the wall. "Can I take some of them down? The really awkward ones?"

"Sure, I guess."

Tikki worked her way around the room, removing the worst of the photos from the wall. It was slow work, mostly because she had to remove the poster putty from the wall as she removed things, and she didn't want to accidentally leave any marks like she and Marinette had in their frantic tearing-down of posters when Adrien visited. Once she was done, there were still a lot of photos, but at least they were mostly normal.

Hopefully Marinette would have a spare hour soon to finish returning her room to its normal state.

"Marinette, are you going to take the photos down today?"

Marinette paused with one foot out the door. "I can't! I told Maman that I would help down in the bakery. Tomorrow, for sure!"

Marinette had pulled three large photos down when her phone rang with an akuma alarm. Sighing, she tossed the picture in her recycling without a second glance (she was never going to mention how photogenic Adrien was within Alix's hearing range ever, ever again- where the other girl had found such awful photos she had no idea) and raced up to her balcony to transform.

"About those photos-"

"Still behind!"

"Can I take more photos down?"

Marinette glanced up from her Physics homework. "Yeah, I guess? Just don't do this area, I don't want to get distracted."

Tikki frowned. "Marinette, I'll have to take down those photos sometime. Can't you work somewhere else? Downstairs, maybe?"

"I'll do it this weekend, after the Jagged TV thing," Marinette promised. "But for right now, I can't. I need to use my computer for this assignment."

Alix stared at her TV in horror. There, in full color on the screen, was Marinette's room.

And Marinette's wall.

And a number of the pictures of Adrien that she and Alya had put up two weeks prior.

And Jagged Stone was pointing to them and the camera was focusing on them, bringing them up full-screen.

"She didn't take them down?" Alix exclaimed, fingers clutching at her hair. How? Why? Sure, Marinette had mentioned being crazy busy and really behind after spending time working on a sewing project instead of doing her homework, but surely she could have spared a couple minutes to clear her walls.

At least it looked like she had gotten the purposefully bad photos down, and most of the room was largely free of pictures. It was just that corner of the room, really-

-but that one corner was really bad. Like, it was plastered with pictures, from desk to ceiling.

This was bad.

Her phone rang, and Alix scrambled to answer it. "Hello?"

"We gotta fix this," Alya said, sounding panicked. "Oh, gosh. I never thought- no one else was meant to see that! At least it wasn't her entire room, but- Adrien's gonna be so weirded out, and it won't even be her fault."

"Maybe we can text him?" Alix suggested. "Let him know that it was part of a prank? Even if half of those photos were Marinette's anyway." It would be their apology to Marinette if they did that, she figured. Everyone else would forget about the photos after a few weeks, but Adrien wouldn't, and Marinette would probably flounder through an explanation too badly to be any use if Adrien approached her with any questions. "Should we text him now, or wait until school tomorrow?"

"Do you think we can get to him before he spots Marinette?" Alya asked, not even waiting for Alix to answer before she plowed on. "I think it would be hard to explain anything over text, personally, but- oh! I could call him, hang on-"

The line abruptly went dead and Alix flopped back in her seat, watching the screen. Marinette had chased the cameras out of her room- and Alix had to give her props for how composed she was keeping herself while surely embarrassed beyond belief, and she was ordering Jagged Stone and Alec around too, and they were celebrities- and now Tom and Sabine were trying to shoo the crew out completely, except some strange stuff seemed to be happening.

Like, mega-strange stuff.

Alya called Alix back a minute later, once it had been confirmed that there was an akuma at the bakery- and poor Marinette, she must be having an awful day- and Alya sounded frantic. "He's not answering his phone. I tried calling three times and nothing."

"Maybe the pretty boy is busy and missed the show?" Alix suggested. "You could ask Nino."

"Nino is out of town this weekend. He won't be back until Monday." Alya groaned. "Oh, this is such a mess."

"Maybe we can just wait until Monday?" Alix suggested as she watched Chat Noir get flung into a news van on-screen. "I mean, Adrien is always early and Marinette is almost always running in last-minute anyway. Surely we can catch him before Marinette gets there."

"Sounds like a plan," Alya agreed. "So, any ideas for excuses as to why we covered Marinette's room in pictures of Adrien?"

Adrien wasn't in the classroom. It was three minutes to the bell, and Adrien wasn't in the classroom yet.

Alix was starting to get concerned. How were they meant to corner Adrien and give their excuses if the boy was MIA?

And then, a minute before the bell, Adrien slipped through the door and into his seat. Marinette followed forty-five seconds later.

There was no way they hadn't run into each other in the locker room. Alix hoped that Marinette hadn't said anything too strange to him. If she had, all the excuses in the world from Alix and Alya wouldn't help anything.

They cornered Adrien in their next break between classes.

"Hey, you two, what's up?" Adrien asked. He looked a little puzzled about being cornered, but it only barely showed. "I saw you tried to call me yesterday, Alya- sorry I didn't pick up, I was busy."

"You're always busy, we're used to that," Alya said cheerfully, waving it off. "But, uh, we wanted to talk to you about something- well, admit something, rather- anyway, did you see the Jagged Stone show yesterday?"

Alix tried not to snort. For a moment there, Alya had sounded rather like Marinette trying to talk to Adrien.

"I did," Adrien told them, grinning. "Jagged looked like a ghost with the flour all over him, didn't he? I'm glad Tom and Sabine were willing to kick them out, though. They didn't have to go all the way upstairs."

Alix winced. "So you saw that part, huh?"

Adrien's answering nod was so slight that it would have been easy to miss it.

"The wall of photos was actually our fault," Alya admitted. "We put it up as a joke- we hid photos all over her room, actually, we should probably actually tell Marinette about that, if she hadn't found those- and she's apparently been too busy to get it all cleaned up."

Adrien looked puzzled. "Wait, that was you guys? Then why didn't Marinette just say so? And why pictures of me?"

Alix and Alya exchanged a surprised look. Apparently Marinette and Adrien had already talked, and Marinette hadn't made a complete mess of it.

Maybe they should have talked to Marinette to see what she had told him first.

"Maybe she just didn't want to explain the prank?" Alya suggested after another couple beats. "A-and it was pictures of you because of, y'know, the fashion thing, and it's really easy to find pictures of you. It wasn't anything bad at all, I swear."

Adrien huffed out a small laugh at that. "It is easy to find pictures of me, isn't it? It's a bit annoying at times. But I guess it saves my father from having to take photos of me growing up himself." He shrugged. "But thanks, I guess? That would explain why some of the photos weren't from any of my photoshoots. I did wonder."

"Heh heh yeah, that was us." Alya flashed a too-wide smile. "It was just a bit of fun, y'know? We wouldn't have done it if we knew it was going to get onto TV."

"Right, I figured." Adrien glanced over to where Nino and Max were talking. "Thanks for telling me, I guess. See you in class?"

"Of course," Alya and Alix said in near unison as Adrien waved to them and left. They both let out a sigh relief as soon as he was out of earshot and then dissolved into giddy giggles.

"Well, that was easier than I thought it would be," Alya said a bit breathlessly as they recovered. "He kind of accepts any excuse, doesn't he? He probably made it really easy for Marinette to come up with something."

"Hey, I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth." Alix started walking towards their next class, and Alya followed. "Adrien listened to us, and apparently Marinette managed to get some coherent sentences out around him earlier, so that's a win. And Jagged and his crew didn't manage to, say, upend the chaise and scatter photos all over on live TV, so win there too, I guess."

They walked in silence for a few moments.

"So d'you think you could make it over to Marinette's house after school today?" Alya asked as they joined the group of students heading into Madam Mendeleiev's classroom. "To help Marinette take down posters and clean up all of the photos we hid? I feel like we kind of owe it to her to help."

Alix winced. She had been planning on practicing her roller-skating sprints, but yeah, they did kind of owe it to Marinette. She had probably already spent enough time taking stuff down already, and Alya might not be able to remember all the places where they hid photos away.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be there."

#Miraculous Ladybug #My writing #Troublemaker #because that episode's framing of Marinette annoyed me

84 notes · View notes

songshopcompilation · 3 years

Text

List of Songs, Part 2 (M-Z, #, untitled)

Click here for Part 1 (A-L)

Tumblr limits the amount of links per post so the list is split in half. Links should work on both desktop and mobile.

Madeline Believes

Magnificence

Make This Count

Man’s Best Friend (Tobi)

Manic or Scared

Manipulator (feat. Sherri DuPree-Bemis)

Maw of Desolation

Maybe In Boston

Melt the Hours Away

Microscopic

Miracle

Miss the Sound

Mood Swings

More Rare Than That

More Than a Mother

Move On

Mr. Wibberley

My Ariel

My Brain Is a Liar, My Heart Is a Saint

My Gaze

My God, Girl

My Headphones

My Little Man

My Only

My Refusal

My Sweet Boy

My Year

Mythical Creatures

Nameless

Naturally

Never

Never Be Alone

Never Been So Sure

Never Needed You

Never Too Late

No Archie Smith

No Chance

No Doubt

No Friends No Future So Cold

No Ghost

No Harness

No Hostage

No One Goes Away

No Reality

No Static

Non-Christmas (feat. Sherri DuPree-Bemis)

The Nose

Not Just a Girl, THE Girl

Not the Giving Up Type

Notice, Know This

Now I Miss You

O’Brien Eats It

Of an Angel

Of My Love

Off and Empty

Often Withers

Oh Gabby

Oh Joe

Oh My Dear

The One

One Day I’ll Be Over You

One Pill Too Many

Only Justice Now (feat. Sherri DuPree-Bemis)

Or Be Pulled Down

Out On the Town

Out Somehow

Overcome Our Demons

Paramagic

Patterns

Perfection

Perfectly Obsessed (feat. Sherri DuPree-Bemis)

Perks

Pet

Physical Space (feat. Sherri DuPree-Bemis)

Picky Eater

Pizza

Prettier Than a Dead Girl

Progeny

Pyre

Quite Right

”Rap” Battle (feat. Sherri DuPree-Bemis)

Raymond and Debra

The Reaper

Rebecca

Red and Blue

Red String

Reggie’s Song (feat. Sherri DuPree-Bemis)

Reminder (feat. Sherri DuPree-Bemis)

Roll By

Rosie

Runaway (feat. Sherri DuPree-Bemis)

Sarah (feat. Sherri DuPree-Bemis)

Scared of Something

Scott, the Hero

Screw Up

Shining

Shoulda Known

Shout It

Show Up at My Door

Sims, Sophie

Slice of Soul

Smart Sisters

Snowstorm

So Will You?

Some Form of Truth

Someday I’ll Breathe Again

Someone Robbed Us of That Boy

Song Will Remind

Spew

Spring Break (feat. Sherri DuPree-Bemis)

Standing Beside You

Start the World

Still Alone

Struck

Strum

Stuck By Your Side

Suggest We Elope

Summer Next to You

Summer Sun

Super Punk

Survivor Song

Take a Bullet

Take Your Time

Tall Drink of Water

Team Us (feat. Sherri DuPree-Bemis)

Tell This Town Goodbye

This Alive

This Year

Though You’re Away

Thought You’d Curl Up and Die

Tic Tac

Tier Ones

To Do Some Good

To Liz (feat. Sherri DuPree-Bemis)

To the King (feat. Sherri DuPree-Bemis)

Tom

Too Cynical

Too Much

Too Much Too Soon

Trainwreck

Treat

Trevor the Dog

Tricycle

Trite Attempts

The Truth

Turn It Around

Turntable (feat. Sherri DuPree-Bemis)

Two Children

Two Maxims

Unlock the Door

Venturing Out

Viciously Loyal

Viking (feat. Sherri DuPree-Bemis)

Voice of a Generation

Wanna Hear You Scream

Warmest Day

The Way You Do

We Don’t Forget

We Finally Know

We Know Who We Are

Weary

Weight (feat. Sherri DuPree-Bemis)

Weird and Old

What Else

When I Hold You

When Will I Taste?

The Whole Trip

Without Me

Woman of Faith

Worth More

Worthy of Hatred (feat. Sherri DuPree-Bemis)

Wrecked

Wrestle You (feat. Sherri DuPree-Bemis)

You Can Trust Me

You Caught Me, You Got Me

You Chose Me

You Did That Thing

You for Me

You Love Me Still

You Never Left

You Really

You Suck

You Two Saved Me

You’ll Make It Indeed (feat. Sherri DuPree-Bemis)

You’re Just Fine

You’ve Got a Song Coming! (feat. Sherri DuPree-Bemis)

Your Philosophy

Yours

Zompocalypse

16-Bit Love for My 8-Bit Heart

18 Years Young

[conjectural title: But I Love You More]

[conjectural title: Peter and Mary Jane]

[conjectural title: You Raise Me] (feat. Sherri DuPree-Bemis)

[conjectural title: Filled Up to the Brim]

#[list]

0 notes

lovemesomesurveys · 3 years

Text

[created by: vyvyan86]

If you got a month free from work/school, where would you go on holiday? It’s not that I don’t have the time to take a trip like that considering I don’t have a job and I finished school almost 6 years ago, it’s that I don’t have the financial means to do so. I wouldn’t take a trip like that right now anyway of course since we’re still very much in a pandemic and I don’t feel safe or comfortable traveling. I wish I could do something like that, though. That would be amazing.

^Who would you take with you? My family.

What is your definition of "family"? Of course there’s the definition of family as people who are related to each other, but you can consider non-related people family as well. A family is a unit. It’s about love, it’s people who have your back, who have your best interest at heart, would do just about anything for you and you do all that for them as well. You can count on each other. There’s loyalty and trust. It’s just a special bond and closeness.

What's the best thing about summer? The only thing I like is when I’m able to go to the beach or take a vacation, otherwise I despise summer.

Do you have a touch screen phone? Yes.

If so, what kind? If not, what kind would you like, if any at all? I have the iPhone 12 Pro Max.

If you have a phone or other device that supports them, what's your favorite application? Kindle, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat. Do you enjoy erotic stories? If so, do you read them or write them? I’m a murder mystery and psychological thriller type of gal. Have you ever played pinball? Nope.

If so, what's your favorite machine?

If you had to choose, which one would you rather have; a pet or a baby? Uh, most definitely a pet. I do not want a baby.

^Why did you choose the one you chose? I don’t want to have children, but I’m certainly not in the place for that in my life right now.

What's the farthest you've ever travelled to? Just to Georgia from California.

What year were you born in? 1989.

Do you live with your parents or on your own/with a partner? I live with my parents.

What's the car of your dreams? I don’t have one.

What kind is the house of your dreams? My dream house would be near the beach.

If you could live absolutely anywhere, where would you live? I’m not sure. I see myself staying in California all my life, but who knows. I definitely want to move to another city, though.

Have you ever witnessed something or someone die? Yes.

Do you like it when it's bright or prefer a bit darker lighting? I don’t like bright lighting.

Has anyone ever told you that you snore or talk in your sleep? I’ve been told I talked in my sleep before, but I don’t think it’s a regular thing I do. I guess I wouldn’t know, though, since I sleep alone.

Do you have any houseplants? Nope.

Have you ever wanted or do you have a garden that you tend? Nope to both. Gardening isn’t something I have any interest in.

Are you more on a laptop or a desktop computer? I only have a laptop, so.

^Do you sit on a chair or lie down when you use the computer? Majority of the time I’m sitting on my bed while on it.

Do you like shopping or do you just enjoy looking at things in stores? I do like shopping. There’s times where I may just want to look around at a store, but usually I go with at least the possibility of buying something.

Do you ever look through a catalog and point out what you'd like to have? I haven’t done that since I was a kid when making my Christmas list or getting books from the Scholastic book catalog.

^Or do you just go ahead and order the things you want? I mean, I browse online or think of stuff I’ve seen at the store.

Do you ever shop online? If so, what do you usually buy? I do a ton of online shopping, especially these past few years. I buy stuff from Boxlunch, Hot Topic, Etsy, Amazon, and Bath & Body Works most often, but various other places as well.

Is your computer by a window? No.

Do you ever spend your time writing stories? I did when I was like 12 or 13. I loved writing short stories. Every now and then I get the urge to start up again, but I don’t have the ideas, energy, or motivation.

Are you in a book club? I participate in Bible studies where in addition to reading the Bible, we read another book relating to the topic of the study as well.

Do you like traveling? Yeah. I wish I could do more of it. If you could do absolutely anything, what would you like to do the most? Get my shit together.

What is your ideal job? I don’t know.

Which would you rather have; a career or several children? A career.

Do you care what other people think of you? During the past few years I’ve started to care a lot less. I wish I could say it was because I gained confidence and had better self-esteem, but nope.

If so, why? --

If you had to take a picture of something you think is beautiful, what would it be? Of the ocean or some other scenic view.

What is your definition of "beauty"? Things you find aesthetically pleasing and appealing is one, but it goes a lot deeper and beyond than that.

How vast education do you have? I have my BA in psych.

Do you think your parents raised you well? I believe so.

Is your life good right now? Or could it be better? There’s so much that I wish was different.

Do you consider yourself to be popular? Does it even matter? No, I’ve never been popular and that’s perfectly fine with me. Especially not now considering I don’t have any friends.

Is the message of a song more important than the melody? I can just enjoy a song even if the lyrics aren’t especially great cause it has a catchy beat or something, but the best is when it does have nice and relatable lyrics. I love when lyrics can describe or say how I’m feeling or what I’m thinking so perfectly and better than I could. Those songs that just really speak to you, ya know?

Do you know anyone with a mental illness? If so, what is it they have? Yeah, including myself. I know people with various mental illnesses.

What is your opinion on people, who constantly swear? I find it kind of unnecessary and sometimes for me it can be too much, but whatever.

What about people, who get drunk once a week? I don’t care, just be safe and responsible about it. Otherwise, that’s your business.

Which accent/dialect sounds perfect to you? British accents.

Which accent/dialect sounds horrible to you? I wouldn’t say any sound horrible.

Which language sounds perfect to you? Italian.

Which language sounds horrible to you? None.

If you could have anything to eat right now, what would you want? I’m going to make my nightly bowl of ramen soon. If you could have anything to drink now, what would you want? I’m drinking my usual Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink. Shocker, I know.

If you have siblings, have you ever wished you were an only child? Nooo.

If you're an only child, have you ever wished you had siblings? --

Are you religious? If so, how do you follow your religion? Yes.

If you're an atheist/agnostic, what made you realize this? --

Do you have a Facebook? I do.

^If so, do you accept everyone's friend request or only people's you know? I only accept people I know.

If you have a Facebook, approximately how many friends do you have there? I think like 130 or something like that.

Do you know any of your neighbors? Nope.

Does/did any of your relatives have an interesting, nowadays unusual job? No.

What's your favorite video game? Mario Bro games and Animal Crossing.

Do you have a favorite gaming platform? I have an Nintendo Switch.

Have you met your ideal partner yet? I did with Ty, but that didn’t work out.

^If not, what are some qualities you look for in one? Someone patient, understanding, caring, easy to talk to, trustworthy, good sense of humor... stuff like that. Someone with some common interests and that I connect with.

Have you had a serious relationship yet? If so, how many? No.

^How long did they last? --

^If you've had failed relationships, did you learn anything from them? I want to just be upfront and know their intentions before getting too deep and going too long without knowing. I don’t want to play anymore games.

^If so, what? ^^^

Are you scared of bees and wasps? Yes.

What about other insects? Yes. All of them.

What about spiders? YES.

Do you get zits often? If so, what do you think causes them? Not really. I’ll have one or two pop up on my chin now and then and I’m sure that’s because I touch my face a lot.

Do you consider yourself an adult? I’m 31 so I’m technically an adult, but it could be up for debate.

How would you define the word "adult"? Man, all these definitions.

What is your definition of happiness? Sigh.

List a few things that make you happy. My doggo, coffee, enjoying good food, good books, good TV shows and movies, going to the beach, nice vacations, good things happening for my loved ones, buying gifts for my loved ones.

Do you enjoy books, magazines or comic books the most? I only read books. I haven’t read a magazine in several years and I’m not a comic book reader.

Do you think people are overly sensitive about things these days? Admittedly, there have been times where I kind of thought so.

How would you describe your sense of humor? I don’t know how to describe it. I mean, I like puns and corny stuff, but otherwise I don’t know how to describe it. Stuff will just strike me as funny. It’s weird cause a lot of the times when people show me or tell me something they think is funny I don’t particularly find all that funny, I just kinda chuckle or blow air out my nose. But then stuff I find funny others might not. So yeah, I don’t know.

Do you like spending time with your pets, if you have any? Yes. <3

Are your parents old-fashioned or up-to-date about certain things? My parents are up to date on things, especially my mom.

Which job would you never in a million years do? Anything in the medical field.

What do you think is the most adorable thing in the whole world? My doggo. (:

What's the most horrible thing in the whole world? Rapists, pedophiles, murderers who aren’t killing out of self-defense, phobics... <<<

Do you or did you at some point keep a diary? I had actual diaries when I was in middle school and some of high school, but then I started using Xanga and LiveJournal. This is my diary now.

Do you know any of the people on your Bzoink friends list? I don’t use Bzoink.

Are you really open about yourself? In surveys I am.

How personal does a question have to be, so you won't answer it? It’s more if I feel comfortable or not discussing a certain topic.

Is there a café you go to regularly and the staff knows your "usual"? Probably if I went myself they would, but I’m very rarely the one who goes to get my coffee and even when I do it’s just through the drive-thru as the passenger.

Have you ever been to Finland? No.

If so, what did you think of it?

If not, would you like to? Absolutely.

What's something you've always wanted to do, but haven't had a chance yet? There’s so many places I’d like to visit.

There, we've come to the end of the survey. Did you like it? Yeah, overall I did.

If not, what's wrong with it? I could have done without the definitions.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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