#it’s fun and delightful but. holy cow it’s so late it’s early

[thesamestarlight]

bad news y’all i’m officially addicted to leaving comments on ao3. and it is becoming a Problem for my sleep schedule

[sheewolf85]

October Drabbles Day 4 - Walking Dogs

Characters: Papyrus, Sans, Dogami and Dogaressa, Dogi puppies Pairing: N/A (background Dogi), (maybe the ongoing love/hate relationship between Papyrus and puns) Rating: T Warnings: None? Monsters on the surface, puppies, a bit funny, you could say...humerus, punny, poor Papyrus. This was essentially an excuse to use Halloween puns.

Fun fact: All of the Dogi’s puppies names mean “wolf” in various languages. I wanted to name them something that meant just “dog” but I couldn’t find names that I liked and I didn’t take the time to pun up a few good ones.

Find the list of prompts here.

Read on AO3 here. 

Papyrus was up early as usual, back from his brisk walk in the cool autumn air before even the sun woke up. He made a grand breakfast of oatmeal (the kind with the dinosaur eggs, of course! Nothing but the best for The Great Papyrus!) and orange juice and planned his day as he ate.

He was excited for the day. Dogamy and Dogaressa had recently expressed an interest in taking a day to themselves. They’d had a litter of puppies who were now five years old and quite the handful each, and every now and then they took time to nurture their marriage.

Papyrus had volunteered first to watch the puppies. He’d already proven himself great with children; he was one of the most beloved teachers at Toriel’s school for monsters. He had the energy required to keep up with all four of them, and he wouldn’t let their day be squandered with video games and sweets.

The Dogi would be dropping the puppies off just before noon and then picking them up around six in the evening.

As he ate, he checked the weather app on his phone. The day was going to be mildly chilly, but sunny all day without a trace of clouds or rain. It would be perfect for a walk through the park, he decided, and made a mental note to wear a comfortable sweater with a shirt underneath in case it got too warm.

After breakfast, Papyrus cleaned up the kitchen then went to shower and change his clothes. He decided to wear a sweater that some of his students had banded together to give him the year before; it was soft gray wool with little candy corns spread all over.

At eleven o’clock, Sans finally got out of bed, and Papyrus did his duty in scolding his brother for sleeping so late. He then made sure that Sans got a nutritious breakfast and a shower before the puppies showed up.

Right at noon, there was a knock on the door. He grinned widely and dashed to open it, revealing the Dogi with puppies in tow.

“Good afternoon, Papyrus!” Dogaressa said happily as she leaned forward to hug him. He accepted a hug from Dogamy as well after he ushered them inside.

He then knelt down and let the puppies swarm him.

They all yipped happily as one attempted to climb him.

“Now Zev, behave yourself,” Dogamy chided.

Zev was the only boy of the litter and had his mother’s bright eyes and his father’s curled coif. He had been dressed in an orange and brown plaid shirt with adorably tiny jeans and sneakers. His little ears fell back as he looked up at his dad and apologized.

The three girls, Ula, Lupita, and Ylva, calmed down as well. They were all wearing the same dress but in different colors. Ula’s was pink, Lupita’s was purple, and Ylva’s was yellow.

Papyrus stood back up and accepted two very packed bags from the proud parents.

“Thank you so much for this,” Dogaressa said with a smile. “We both really appreciate it.”

“Any time at all! We’re going to have a great time, aren’t we?” Papyrus looked down at the puppies who all nodded vigorously.

“Very well; we’ll be on our way then,” Dogamy said. Both he and his wife knelt down to say goodbye to their children.

After a few sweet hugs, the Dogi left and Papyrus shut the door. He turned to the puppies, who all looked up at him with eager expressions on their adorable faces.

He clapped his hands together once. “Okay! Who’s ready for some fun?”

All four puppies jumped up, their paws in the air, and screeched their agreement.

An hour later, Papyrus, the puppies, and Sans were all strolling along the paths at the local park. Humans had brought their pet dogs, which Papyrus was both delighted and somewhat perturbed by.

Some of the pet dogs could be sweet as peach cobbler, very well behaved, and leave Papyrus feeling loved. Others…well, others reminded him of one dog in particular. A distant relative of the Dogi, he’d been told, Annoying Dog still, to this day, lived up to its name.

He did his best to ignore those dogs and instead smiled at how the puppies in his care played with them.

Most humans were very good with the puppies, too. They were very obviously not pets, considering they walked on their hind legs and wore clothing, but they still loved scritches and treats. Papyrus had to make sure that not too many humans gave them dog treats. Even if the human equivalent wasn’t the same thing as Doggo’s treats, they still didn’t need to fill up on them when Papyrus had a healthy dinner planned for later.

“heh...paps, look.” Sans pointed over at a human, and Papyrus dutifully looked to see what had caught his brother’s attention.

The human family was standing by their baby’s stroller. At first, Papyrus didn’t see what was so interesting about it until he noticed the father’s shirt.

The shirt was black with a cartoon image of a ghost holding a bottle of some sort. Underneath the cartoon was the caption: “I’m just here for the BOO’S.”

Papyrus sighed. “Of course you would find that funny, Sans,” he said distastefully. “You have a very lazy sense of humor.” While he himself enjoyed a good jape, they were supposed to be something a person could take pride in. The buildup should have a rewarding conclusion, it should take work and drive and energy.

Sans snickered again, this time pointing out another human couple. The woman was wearing another punny shirt, just as lazy as the first person’s. Papyrus decided to ignore it in favor of watching the puppies play together in the soft grass.

When Sans made another sound like he was choking on something, Papyrus looked over worriedly only to see him smiling that same grin that meant something terrible and punny was about to happen.

“oh, man...bro...you gotta see that one. holy cow!” He pointed at a passing couple.

The man’s shirt was black again, and this one had a dancing skeleton on the front. Not too bad. The caption, however, read: “I don’t need no body!”

“I don’t see why you find that so funny,” Papyrus sighed. Deep inside, down where he would never, ever let anyone see it, he thought it was a little funny.

It seemed a little odd that Sans would be finding so many punny t-shirts. As Papyrus began looking around, something horrible dawned on him.

Everyone was wearing a punny shirt!

One had a cartoon representation of vampire teeth with a caption that said: “Vampire puns suck!”

Another one had an image of a ghost from the backend with a defined buttocks that said: “I put the BOO in BOOTY.”

One woman was wearing a bedazzled shirt with an image of a red-faced person with what seemed to be a cross of a zombie and a ghost. The shirt stated that, “Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.”

Several others, pun after pun caught Papyrus’ attention until Sans was downright cackling next to him.

“Look, Papyrus!” Zev cried out happily. “You’re wearing one, too!”

He looked down at himself. His sweater was just gray with candy corns, no puns at all! He wouldn’t wear one!

And yet, the front of his shirt had been cleared of all corns while they were still scattered around the rest. In the blank spot was a pumpkin filled to overspilling with candies and over the top of the pumpkin said: “Halloween puns are corny.”

“NO!” Papyrus cried out.

He sat straight up in bed, sweating and panting.

He looked around his room, reality settling in as he sighed in relief. It had only been a nightmare!

His day with the puppies had been normal and wonderful. After their walk in the park and the singular punny shirt they’d seen, they’d come home and Papyrus had made a wholesome, delicious dinner. The Dogi had come to get their puppies at the agreed-upon time, and then Papyrus had decided to take a nap after realizing he was a little tired after his day of fun.

A knock on his door let him know of Sans’ presence before the door swung open. His brother stepped in holding a cup of tea.

“you okay, bro? heard ya call out.”

Papyrus nodded. “Yes, I’m okay. It was just--”

Before he could finish his sentence, he realized what his brother was wearing.  He stared, mouth open, as his right socket twitched.

“it was just what?”

Sans’ shirt was pink with a black cat on the front holding a bone. The caption? “I found this humerus.”

Papyrus’ frustrated scream echoed through the house.

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #339

Top Ten Things to Remember About TF Nation 2018

It’s been a fortnight, by the time you’re both reading this, since I was at TF Nation. In that time a lot has happened. Well, not a lot a lot. I’ve zipped about the country a little bit. It’s nearly time for school to start. I’ve made about six different promos. So some stuff has happened.

Anyway, I'm finally ready to talk about it. I’ll be posting pictures this weekend too (hopefully they’ll be up by now). It was a strange TFN for me in a number of ways, and I'm going to self-indulgently reflect on that.

Normally I drive from My Home in The North, down the M6 to Brum, and get to the Hilton Metropole around late-afternoonish on the Friday. Dump my stuff in my room, head out for a mooch, check out the Friday night festivities, hopefully catch up with friends in the bar, and try to get a relatively early night to feel rested not just for the first full day of the con but also for the inevitable Long One on Saturday night. But a couple of things were different this year. For one, I was working in London, so I caught the train from Euston instead, and go to the hotel quite early. For another, I had what we in the trade refer to as a Minging Cold and felt Proper Rotten. So apologies to anyone who I gave my lurgy to. Anyway, an upshot of this is that I didn’t feel too much like hanging out in the bar or really being all that sociable. I think if D.C. Douglas hadn't been doing his excellent Erotic Fan-Fiction Show on Friday night I'd probably have just hidden in my room to play Civilization VI on my own. But I really didn’t want to miss Chase from Rescue Bots delivering a bit of late night smut, and I’m glad I stuck it out, because it was fantastic.

Although I always love TFN the holy-cow-wow factor from my first con visit a few years ago waxes and wanes. This year I knew I wasn’t looking for any toys so I didn’t engage quite as strongly with the vendors. And I still felt crap for most of Saturday, popping back to my room a couple of times for a rest, and taking a long walk back into the NEC to try to find some drugs. Fortunately, the addition of concentrated Lemsip to my system gave me sufficient strength to power through the afternoon, and by the evening’s festivities I was feeling much, much better. The Stan Bush concert was incredible, and I spent the rest of my time in the bar, chatting to friends old and new.

Sunday, by contrast, was a hardscrabble day of running around and trying to get everything signed by the guests, as I’d squandered Saturday on feeling poorly and taking it easy. But I spoke to everyone and got all the signatures I wished, even if I was trying To Be Good and not spend several hundred pounds on artwork. But I did, at least, get a beautiful Spiderling picture from Nick Roche, which will eventually hang on my daughter’s wall.

So anyway, it was a really cool convention, but it felt slightly disjointed and I left with a melancholy feeling. I think a lot of that was due to me being away from home, and spending the weekend I'd have ordinarily used to go back and see my family at TFN instead. Plus, as is always the case with these things, I like chatting to people more than mooching and purchasing, and there just isn’t enough time, especially when you’re friends with the creators themselves. But it was great. I love TFN, it’s one of the highlights of my year. I hope I can go again next year; obviously it’s an expense, but more than that it’s time out during the summer holidays and time away from my kids. It's always going to be a tough decision, at least til they’re old enough to want to come with me (I don’t think they’ll be staying up till 2am discussing celebrity sex abusers for quite some time, however).

Here, then, are my favourite bits. Or at least the bits that have hung around my memory most powerfully. Cheers, TFN, and thanks loads to everyone involved in the organising.

Stan Bush: “I would have waited an eternity for this,” said Nick Roche when introducing him, and I think he meant it (although it does sound suspiciously like a line from a film. Lord of the Rings, maybe?). Mr Bush did not disappoint. Quintessential 80s rocking, with lots of implied slow-motion montages. Music to drive motorbikes to as the sun goes down over the naval base. It was amazing.

Saturday Night: Like I said, I spent the rest of Saturday night with friends in the bar. It was great fun, and really affirmed my love of the convention, and of Transformers fans in general. Everyone just seems so chill, and all on the same page, just sharing in their love of the franchise and its associated art. I’ve been very lucky to get on friendly terms with various Transformers creators over the years; I hope by calling them my friends I'm not overstepping any boundaries and coming across like some weird stalker. I really like these guys, and chatting to them is an annual highlight. Wish it could happen more often.

Sunday Afternoon: I normally leave fairly sharpish, to be honest, once the con winds down, but with no real hurry to get home (no excited children waiting for me, alas) I hung about a bit longer, and sampled some of the famous Sunday night vibe. I was chatting with a different set of friends, people I see at the Travelling Man store in Manchester, and it was a really nice come down after the highs of Saturday night. I can see why people like staying Sunday night, and not just out of a desire to make TFN last as long as possible.

The Lost Light Love-In: I love Lost Light, and the final (?) TFN panel dedicated to the book was a delight. Revelations, discarded plots, behind-the-scenes info, some subtle teases; it was everything a fan could desire. But the real takeaway was the display of friendship between writer James Roberts and artist Jack Lawrence. It was so, so cool that these two old buds got to make a comic together based on one of their favourite things in the world, and that we all got to read it. It was the perfect, bittersweet end to a long and lovely ride.

An Annie for Annie: my kids might not have read a lot of comics but at the end of the day, most kids still love Spider-Man. My youngest is called Annie; Spider-Man's daughter is called Annie in Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows; the artist of Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows is Nick Roche; Nick was at TFN. It's not hard to get from one thing to the other, and now I have a really great Spiderling picture. I'm hoping it’s something Annie (my Annie, the IRL Annie) will cherish as she gets older. And don’t worry about my eldest, she’s already got three Nick Transformers headshots.

Filth: I’d heard of, but didn’t really know much about, D.C. Douglas’s “Erotic (Zombie-Related) Fan-Fiction" show. I’m not a big Resident Evil fan so I’m almost entirely unfamiliar with his work as Albert Wesker; as far as I’m concerned he’s Chase from Transformers: Rescue Bots. But he’s funny on Twitter so I thought this would be funny too, and quite frankly who wouldn’t want to go see something about erotic fiction at a Transformers convention? Anyway, it didn’t disappoint; it was hilarious and proper mucky. Kudos to the organisers for putting it on, because it’s not the sort of thing I've seen at TFN before. The icing on the cake was the fact that I got to go up on stage and take part, although I reckon my bits could have been dirtier. So to speak.

Blimey!: there was a period of my life when I was probably just as excited for the Combat Colin strip in Transformers as I was by the ongoing story of those robots in disguise themselves. So to finally meet Colin’s creator, Lew Stringer, and get an original Semi-Automatic Steve sketch, was marvellous. I really wish I'd had more time to chat to him, though; he’s a font of knowledge about British comics and their history, and more than that, he was a massive influence on me, my artwork, and my writing. It’s funny sometimes, when you think back, the things that shaped you creatively. Combat Colin is, I think even Lew would admit, fairly niche in terms of popular culture, but the books I’m writing at the moment owe just as much to the adventures of Colin, Steve, the Giggly Sisters, Megabrain, Madprof, Combat Kate and the rest, as they do to the various superhero writers and great novelists that I've cribbed from disgracefully over the years.

Where it All Began: I started collecting Transformers with issue 11 of the UK comic. The lead story in that issue – “Man of Iron” – was illustrated by Mike Collins. Mike was at the convention, and he signed my VERY FIRST ISSUE OF TRANSFORMERS EVER. I mean, how cool is that? Like with Lew, though, I didn’t have much chance to speak to him unfortunately, and I never managed to get an original sketch either. Hopefully he’ll be back!

Those Wonderful Toys: I didn’t really buy anything this year. Most years I either get myself something or at least pick up a couple of small things for the girls. But I knew I was spending more on artwork than usual, plus in general I just wanted to be more frugal, so I didn’t want to go flinging money on “Plastic Crack”. The only thing I really, really wanted was a Power of the Primes Rodimus Prime, which comes with a little Hot Rod that you can combine with his “trailer”, Powermaster Optimus Prime style, to turn into Rodimus. Rodimus, of course, is my favourite character, and this was a gimmick I came up with myself when I was a little kid, so of course I was super excited at the prospect. I think I saw one, briefly, on Saturday morning, but that was it: one. And it was gone so quickly I began to doubt myself. Anyway, with my One True Love not being present, buying toys was kind of an afterthought, but all the same: I love looking at them. Especially the third-party/custom jobs they have in the Forge. The huge Optimus was terrific, but I especially loved the life-size (well, human-sized, I guess) Optimus rifle. They should sell that thing at Toys R Us! Oh...

Geoffrey and Helpers: speaking of TRU (RIP), cosplay. Cosplay is Gold at TFN. This year was no exception. Utterly fantastic Vortex, Functionist Council, humanised Rodimus and Magnus, and loads more besides... it was great, really great. The sheer scale of the undertaking, the finesse, the performances: hats off to you, one and all. But the icing on the cake, for me at least, was the guy who dressed up as Geoffrey from the Toys R Us adverts, except wearing an Infinity Gauntlet. I mean, come on. That’s just incredible.

So there you have it: TF Nation 2018. It was a very emotional experience for me this year. Really, really cool. I do love it. I hope I can go to one of the meet-ups, especially if they have one in the north. And I hope I get to see people in between now and next year, too. Having said that, for a variety of reasons I’m thinking I might give next year a miss, or maybe just go for one day or something.

Unless they get Judd Nelson as a guest. Or anyone else from Rescue Bots. Or Peter Cullen. Or if they have a Weird Al Yankovic concert. Or if they do a huge “End of IDW (version 1.0)” retrospective. Or if they have all the new creators. Or...

Jesus, it never ends.