#it’s just you see drawings and you get emotions from them

[weirdmorefics]

Could you pls do a fake dating fic with Colin bridgerton? Tysm xx

A Life Long Scheme

A/N- Sorry for the delay! I really do have the fanfiction writer curse! I say that every time but I mean it! I got my appendix out and rode in an ambulance. They don't even play music in them FYI.

Readers Pronouns- She/Her

Word Count- 2,512

Summary- You convince Colin to fake court you to gain the attention of other suitors but jealousy consumes Colin.

I knew I would have a hard time finding a suitor from a young age. My family may be wealthy enough to attend balls but certainly not enough for a sizable dowry for each of their children. I grew up competitive trying to prove myself worthy even if I came with a small dowry. My siblings relied on their looks but I was determined to be the best at everything. I will treat coming out like I do life competitively. As the eldest, I must set an example.

I was lined up with the others coming out into society this year. They all nervously played with their clothes and looked to the floor. I too felt like doing that but I kept my emotions bottled tightly in my chest and held my head high. We all took our turns bowing in front of the Queen she looked completely unbothered by us, dare I say bored.

I was last in line she looked me up and down and said, "I am unsure if anyone qualifies as a diamond this season."

I can't fight back the sharp inhale I take, I can physically feel my heart launch its way into my throat. I feel as if I may hurl as she gets up and walks away escorted by her guards. I look around at others visible shock. I can't help but feel the Queen just left because of me. I mean I was the last one. I need to do something! I can't fail already I just came out into society!

My night was filled with pacing and plotting. There has to be a way to impress Her Majesty. My Mama tried to comfort me but Father quickly told her there was no point in speaking to me when I was like this. I hate to admit but he is unfortunately correct. Once I am in a thought spiral there is no getting out. I thought of other seasons for most of the night as I lay in bed. What did they do to gain the Queen's attention? The most notable season of late would have to be Daphne's. I can't recall the last time The Ton has seen a marriage done with such haste before. She had a massive amount of suitors after her though that was only after The Duke's appearance.

The idea hit me suddenly I launched out of bed, put my carpet slippers on, and ran out of the house. I am lucky my family sleeps so soundly because I am sure I sounded like a horse trotting as I ran through the house. The Bridgerton manor is right next to ours, so close in fact that I grew up playing games with all the Bridgertons. Colin has always been my dearest friend (even though Mama always told me a male friend was improper). I knew Colin would go along with my plan, we have been scheming and pranking since we were children. This should be no different! It unfortunately hit me how late it was when I stood in the darkness of the Bridgerton Garden. I was here now I refused to backtrack just because it was an untimely hour.

I used the bushes to help guide me to Colin's familiar window. Once there I gathered tiny pebbles and started ricocheting them off his window. It did not take him long to wake and open the window with a messy bedhead and a lit lantern. His face instantly flushes at the sight of me.

"My god Y/n what are you doing out here in this state!" He shouts

I follow his gaze to my clothes and feel my face heat. My god, I did not think this through as I stood in front of Colin Bridgerton's window in the dark, in my silk nightgown. I will see this through the damage is done. "I have a plan," I smile.

He sighs and rubs his forehead, "Oh no… you are lucky my sleeping schedule is still askew from traveling abroad. Now get inside before someone sees you!"

I met him in the drawing room and he refused to look me in the eye, "So what is so important that you have decided to grace the house with your presence at this ungodly hour."

"I am here to present you with a proposition," I clasp my hands as he finally looks at my face suspiciously.

"And what might this proposition be? I can assume nothing good," he questions.

I roll my eyes and pace as I recite my plan."As you know Daphne was utterly suitorless during her season courtesy of Anthony. However, the moment a Duke entered the picture she had men competing for hand. They could not care less about Anthony's interventions."

Colin nodded confused, "Your point?"

"My point is I need competition! So I propose that you pretend to court me! If you will? I know you are aware of my Papa's financial situation… I mean the whole ton is after Lady Whistledown published his unfortunate business decisions and his one-too-many daughters for a dowry. None of this will matter if I can get a suitor who loves me and will help my family but that can't be done if I can't attract a suitor!" I continue to pace as Colin looks entirely unsure of what to make of this situation. I take a deep breath, "So what do you say?"

Colin looks at me with puppy dog eyes, "Of course Y/n. You are my dearest friend. I must know why you decided to discuss this so late at night in your…" he flushes again and looks to the ground. "In your nightgown."

I suddenly became all too aware of my attire and became a stuttering mess, "the conversation was of utmost importance the time of day and clothing choices have nothing to do with it!"

Colin smirks, "I see."

"I must save my Papa's business if not for him but for the chance my sisters will get to marry for true love and not for financial gain," I sigh. Colin's eyes which were once teasing turn to sadness, "Do not look at me like that Colin. I don't need your pity, I need your help."

He nods and straightens his posture, "Of course Y/n. Of course, I will help."

I quietly snuck back into the house after speaking to Colin. The plan was set in stone he would be the first dance on my dance card and we would round up potential suitors together. We were joined at the hip for every event and I purposely chose the busiest times to promenade so the most amount of suitors would see us.

I soon began to gain the attention of many suitors and even had many coming to my house to call on me! Mama was so proud I was so happy to take her mind off the situation with Papa.

Mama pulled me to the side of the drawing room, "Maybe hanging out with the Bridgerton boy will help you! Maybe their fortune will rub off on us!" I was proud to inform her I was to promenade in the park today with Colin. It was odd to see her smile with excitement instead of pale at the thought of her daughter spending her time with a man who never planned to court her. I wish she wasn't only proud of me when I wasn't doing something that benefited me in finding a wealthy suitor. It's no matter though, I will do anything to make her proud, and it feels like I'm finally doing it. She spent the whole morning with me to find a suitable dress for my outing.

Colin arrived promptly at the time we set previously and accompanied me to the park. As we promenaded I felt many eyes on us they truly believed Colin would court the daughter of a family barely escaping financial ruin. It is truly almost humorous how easily we have swayed the ton.

"It is truly working Colin! Mother is so proud that I will be the one to save my family's reputation. Such a shame she picked such a layered gown for one of the warmest days of the season," I whisper and fiddle with the seams of my dress.

Colin sighs, "How many suitors are you getting from this Y/n? They can't all have honorable intentions given your beauty and your family's standing."

I roll my eyes, " Why Colin Bridgerton are you jealous? I would not think you are the type. Do not worry you will always be my dearest friend. No husband could replace you."

His face turns serious, "I am just worried. I hope you are doing this for the right reasons and not for the sake of your Mama… and I am most certainly not jealous."

For someone who said he is certainly not jealous he didn't sound quite certain. That, however, is not what distracted me. "You think I want to marry a man not for love but purely for financial gain? It is every woman's dream to marry for love! We can't all have the privilege to do so! Especially one born into a family with a gambling addict for a father and a mother too frail to defend herself. My mother has been preparing me for coming out since I was a child! This is my job as the eldest! To secure a good future for my siblings so perhaps they get the opportunity to marry for love as I will never get to!" I back up as if I may burn from Colin's shocking gaze but I still point a finger at him, "And the fact that you don't already know this Bridgerton is having me question if we ever truly were friends! Perhaps all those travel stories in your head leave not much room for anything else."

I storm away from the Bridgerton, I think after his initial shock he calls for me but my rage prevents me from looking back to see if it was true or a cruel trick of my ears. It was perhaps not the greatest idea to run off from a suitor with no chaperone. Maybe I wouldn't have found myself in such a precarious situation if I had chaperone. I find myself cursing my father in my head for his terrible gambling habits that prevent anyone from wanting to associate with the likes of us. Therefore getting me into this mess in the first place.

"Y/N L/N, we have been watching you for quite some time. Your father never described your intense beauty but how could one put it into words?" The seedy man approached me.

I smiled politely, "Thank you! May I inquire how you know my father?"

"Oh darling I think you know why we are here. I mean the whole ton knows about your father's habits shall we say." He smiles menaceingly and I think to myself of course this has to do with his damn gambling habits.

I back up in case I have to make a quick escape and he unfortunately catches on. He grabs my wrist to keep me in place, "We have been very patient with your father. Given his position in the ton, we thought we could be lenient with his payment schedule. However, it turns out we were mistaken. What is more shocking is the fact that his daughter thinks she has a chance of finding a suitor with no dowry."

"Sir please unhand me," I try to pull away from his grasp.

"You think being in the company of the Bridgertons will help your family situation? Perhaps we could take you as payment? You do draw a lot of attention despite your social ruin. We could use you to bring more men to the establishment," he smiles sinisterly.

I yank my hand away even harder out of fear but his strength still outmatches mine, "Why would I ever help you put more families in financial ruin!"

He laughs, "Darling you think you have a choice?"

His eyes narrow at something behind me and I hear Colin's voice, "I believe the lady asked you to unhand her."

"This does not involve you, sir," he growled.

"You see it is my business when you have your hands on my betrothed, Colin growls back.

My eyes furrowed in confusion. He had been fake courting me of course but we certainly did not discuss a fake betrothal.

The man laughs yet again, "I read in Lady Whistledown that you were courting her but the fact a Bridgerton would sink to the likes of the L/N family."

I took in a shallow breath and Colin growled in response. This situation was going quickly downhill.

"You will not besmirch the lady's name! Now I won't ask again unhand her!" Colin shouts.

"Whatever you say," he smirks and tosses me to the ground. Colin's grimace seems to only encourage the man more, "I'd honestly prefer to use her to replace her father's debt but if you want to drag your family name down with her so be it." He walks away with a peppy jaunt in his step and I glare at him from the ground.

Colin quickly helps me to my feet, "I would have dueled him right here and now if I was not in the presence of a lady."

I brush the dirt off my gown, "It's fine. I'm fine. I will handle it."

"No, you will not! you will not take a step towards that insipid man," he yells.

"Well, Colin you don't really have any choice in that matter! Do you? You are just fake courting me. Or fake betrothing me now? I don't know. I have lost track honestly!" I rant.

His face turns serious, "Y/n I care for you! I would forsake my whole family name for you! You think I do not burn with rage every time I see a new man attempt to call on you after I started court you! I noticed your beauty and your smarts before any of these men did! The fact that they only noticed you once another gentleman entered the picture is disgraceful! I will always notice you Y/n! I will never let your family go through this! I hope to be a love match for you and help your family."

Tears collect in my eyes. As the oldest sibling I've never been the one that was cared for but the one that does the caring. Colin's words made me feel full. I try to tease but it comes more out as a sob, "Mr. Bridgerton are you proposing to me."

He smiles, "I think it is about time I finally proposed to you after you always proposed your schemes to me. So what do you say Ms. L/N? Would you like to continue proposing schemes to me for the rest of our lives?"

I nod aggressively smiling. There was no stopping the happy tears now.

[wowa-bublord]

How do you decide how to stylize the characters you draw? If it's okay to ask.

totally okay to ask! but kind of a hard question because I have so many designs BAHBGFHDJKS!! I'll use my zack design as an example since I draw him the most... and I want an excuse to talk about my process BAHABGFH

the first thing is obviously to get references haha. with Zack thats really easy cos he has 500 designs, I did some studies to figure out how to draw him, what aspects I liked and what things I didn't like! I don't have the studies anymore cos i lost them (bubby lost media) so heres my recreation vvvv

the thing I liked the most were the sharper, bigger eyes of the cutscene zack, the harder jaw of the remake older zack, and the bigger eyebrows of the younger remake zack >:3 so I slap them all together into my design !!

some other stuff misc stuff I took from some design are the darker skin from the og crisis core, and the big ol mane he's depicted with in his first designs!

BOOM first pass design

once I have my first design, I just slowly decide what parts I want to emphasis and exaggerate :) for zack, I like to really push his hair and his eyes. I like to make his visuals very expressive because I see him as a character who isn't very good at verbalizing his emotion, having him physically readable makes writing comics with him easier despite this. (In canon he actually has a tendency to completely turn around or hide his face when he cries! You can see this when Angeal dies, he hides his face behind the sword, later faces away from aerith in the church when he cries, and then at the end during the final meal he turns away from them again. Just a little zack fact.) I also like to push triangular shapes in his design to give him a sort of super hero vibe. Triangle eyes, triangle body type, triangle hair, that sorta thing. Triangles are the strongest shape, so they give him a sort of immovable vibe, however triangles in character designs are also often used for villains because they convey a sharpness and unpredictability. That's why I use them in my sephiroth design a lot too LOL, parallels. I also tend to push the wolf/dog theme a lot with him, with the sharp teeth, big fur hair, and puppy dog ear bangs in his younger design. Mostly because. yea duh Zack The Puppy BAHBVGFHD but also to mirror Sephiroths own theme of dehumanization. Zack is a person second and an attack dog first to ShinRa. Sephiroth the hero and Zack the puppy..... ive got a lot of thoughts but idk how to say them i just hope it comes out in my drawings at all thats what its all about LMAO

Some other things I try to add are visual parallels I give him to my sephiroth design, with a low nose, sharper jaw, big shoulder pauldrons and a triangle body type. It's more obvious from how I draw their side profiles tho hehe

And that's how I got to my current Zack design!! sorry for the ramble, thanks for giving me an excuse to talk about my art FWWHWH character design is a big passion of mine yippee!!

[ao3commentoftheday]

Hello. I was wondering if you could offer some advice for me even though it's a common topic :) I used to write all the time and had a huge flow of ideas that kept overlapping each other which made me super creative both in writing and in drawing. But for the past few years (vaguely stopped at the beginning of 2020) I've had no desire to write at all. A cynical part of me has convinced me that it won’t matter to even begin as I don’t finish and barely write the stories and so I don't achieve the satisfaction of deeper immersion into my stories. I know I’m not a bad writer but that my writing suffers when I have no passion.

Previously I would brainstorm/rant with my friend (vice-versa) who was also a writer but we've drifted apart since (and my other friend has no mental energy for writing anymore because of life). I find it very difficult to keep and maintain any growing passion when I'm alone and unable to share with like-minded people - my passion/motivation seems to die when I can't share it. So how do I regain and maintain it? (Obvious answer is to find someone to share ideas with but... how...? And how do I learn to motivate myself when I'm alone?)

It might be a common topic, but each individual situation is still unique. You're going through a lot, anon, and I'm glad you reached out to get some support 💗

Let's start by looking at the factors you've identified that make it difficult for you to write:

Possible burnout - 2020 makes me think of Covid, stress, uncertainty, constant change, perhaps other factors that are more specific to you as an individual. All of these things are exhausting both mentally and physically and can lead to burnout

Limited support from your community - 2 friends are less involved in your writing than they used to be

Limited empathy for yourself - your frustration is turning into self-blame where you're focusing on the fact that your stories aren't finished rather than on the fact that you lack passion for them

I'm drawing some pretty big conclusions here based on two paragraphs of text, so please do push back against anything that feels like an unfair reading of what you wrote. But it seems to me that you've been through an emotional wringer over the last few years between 2020 and your friendship drifting and not having the same supports in place that you used to have.

I think the thing you need to focus on right now is giving yourself the love and kindness you're not currently getting from others. You're beating yourself up for not finishing a story, but you say that your passion comes from immersion in it. Immersion doesn't require an ending. It just needs you to find a way to get deeper into the characters and/or the plot and/or the world.

You used to be able to find that immersion by talking about your stories with your friends. I agree that you should seek out people again since that's clearly really important to you, but while you do that you should also try to identify ways that you can immerse yourself without someone to talk to.

Try stepping away from the idea of writing the story down and instead allow yourself to just daydream about it. Think about the story. Imagine what might happen next. Play with scenes and explore the possibilities instead of deciding for sure what will happen next. When the story isn't written yet, you have an infinite choice of ways that it could go. Perhaps leaning into those myriad options will help you find the fun in it again.

As for finding a new community of people you can talk to about your writing? That's going to take some time and some work. Finding a discord server of like-minded folks. Commenting on the works of writers you find interesting. Replying to comments on your own stories. Posting ask games on tumblr and sending asks when other people post them too. Making friends online isn't always easy or fast, but those are some possible ways to go about it.

But also consider seeing if your local library has a writer's group. Join a local hobby group unrelated to writing where you can find people you enjoy. Your community doesn't have to revolve around fandom. It can also just be people who like you and who you like in return and you all feel comfortable sharing what you love.

Since you sent this ask in, I reblogged a post about rehab for writing injuries. I think you might want to take a look at that too. I think you might find it helpful. ❤️

[chiaraeliz]

some people were talking about green eyed ventus on my last post which then led me to think about how i draw ven and roxas differently, which THEN led me to go on a lil character analysis tangent (below the cut if you wanna read!)

but for how i draw them differently, i still try to keep them pretty much identical in physical appearance! minus green eyes for ventus, but that’s more because he just feels like he needs green eyes. the main difference i think is fun to play with is how they carry themselves, which leads into my ven and roxas character analysis ramblings:

i haven’t been the most active in the kingdom hearts fandom in recent years, but i remember the big headcanons for roxas and ventus always were that roxas is really angry/a little shit, while ventus was always seen as the pure/sweet one. i like to think of them as a bit more nuanced than that based off of canon, though!

i think roxas is more mellow/not extremely outwardly emotional unless provoked to be. i mean, there’s a whole game where roxas learns to understand himself, his relationships, and his emotions. i get how the angry headcanon came about from canon, but really all the moments where he is REALLY pissed off, it’s super warranted and not necessarily a main personality trait of his. instead, he just gives off a sort of quiet maturity to me (even though he’s one of the youngest characters lol. bros been through a lot)

in comparison, ventus always seemed more… energetic with both his positive and negative emotions. we see that right from the start with him in bbs with the meteor shower, and when he gets a lil salty over being told to take grown ups to disney town (i could definitely think of better examples but it’s 12 am and i’m tired). he feels a bit more immature, especially when put next to terra and aqua. hell, ven reminds me of sora way more than roxas does. we see the ups and downs of his emotions very clearly. in a way he feels younger than roxas with the way he carries himself. (this isn’t me saying he’s an uwu baby who Needs To Be Protected, but more that he projects his feelings in a more direct way imo). also, jesse mccartney voices ventus with a higher pitch and more energy than roxas (i love this detail so much)

all this to say, while i do think the angry roxas and super sweet ventus content is great and i enjoy seeing it from time to time (i might even play into it with my art sometimes tbh), i personally see them as less of those extremes. i like to see ventus as the high energy one, and roxas as the lower energy one, without dictating one emotion as their default. this isn’t really anything groundbreaking (and could probably just be a “duh chiara we all knew this” moment) but i just felt like rambling about them because i like to think about them a lot! (i’m sorry if i got anything wrong or if things are worded weird, i’m about to fall asleep rn)

[jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear]

Things to note - from a "popular" fandom blogger

I absolutely memorize urls of people who are in my notes regularly

This wasn't always the case, but now tumblr tells you who is following or a mutual. I extra love those people

BUT I also have a special place in my heart for the lurkers or tumblr users who never follow, but regularly visit my blog

Yes please spam me with notes. This is not Instagram, note spamming only effects us positively.

Reblogs over likes yes, but I will be equally happy if you like 20 posts in a row even if you don't engage

Please engage though. Ask culture dying. We (usually) love when people ask us our favorite headcanon or for clarification on canon facts. If someone doesn't want asks, they usually say so. When in doubt, send in a comment. It's always welcome.

Just because I didn't respond within five seconds doesn't mean I'm ignoring you. I do have a life. But also, sometimes it's hard to respond for whatever reason (thanks autism) I do see your kind words and I love them. I'm not mad at you either. I'm just exhausted 24/7 However please understand that I do not owe you my presence all hours of the day. Yes, even if we are close friends.

Please treat me how you want to be treated.

I have almost 90,000 posts, mostly reblogs, but I have a lot of content and I do not mind you doom scrolling. In the same vain, do not assume I was the same person that posted one, two, five or ten years ago. Going through my blog to find "problematic" content only wastes time and tells me you think people are incapable of growth and change. Do better.

Keeping a schedule is tantamount to keeping people engaged and them building a following. Whether you post one a week or daily, or like me--almost hourly--people will come no matter your content if you give them a Reason to come.

No matter how unpopular the thing you are blogging about it's there is ALWAYS an audience. It's never a wasted effort to be creative and put your voice out there. Please, the fandom gets stale without new creators and ideas.

On that note, you are not stealing from another for making the same or similar content. That means you should gif that show that's already been gif'd dozens of times over. You should draw that comic of a popular headcanon/ship. You should write your story. As long as you are doing things in your own words/style and not outright copying word for word or sketch per sketch, you're fine. Two cakes are ALWAYS Better than one.

Being angry and spending your time hating/attacking/vague blogging about other creators only hurts you in the long run. jealously is a normal emotion, but when you let it take over your happiness you're only falling deeper into a pit that's already hard to get out of. (trust me)

Please, please, please do what makes you happy. Life should not be wasted on anger. You don't need popularity to be happy, sometimes it can be hella stressful. (take my word for it) Don't become the bully you wish you where in middle school. Spread kindness, support artist and creators. (this includes gif makers, image editors, amv makers, writers, OCs, etc)

Just. Have fun.

[drdemonprince]

Annual seasonal change anon:

Another thing is, and I say this as someone who approaches a lot of topics from a kind of literature-and-writing point of view, but I also think some of how I cope with change is by structuring a narrative around it so that it becomes a process, rather than an instant. I don't know if that will make sense or be useful to other people.

Like, essays have an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Stories have a beginning, middle and end. In terms of human cognition, we can form an understanding of the world around us by simplifying and structuring things so that we can interpret it more easily. And one of the common structures is schemas or maps which are kind of spatial in terms of how we relate concepts to each other and interact with them, and another is scripts which are sequential and based on multiple, linked events happening over time. And a lot of human communication can be analysed in terms of being a script with a beginning, middle and end, it's just that the amount of time and detail spent on the different stages will vary based on purposes and social contexts.

And I think it's really common in Autistic social circles to talk about how useful it is to see examples of scripts, eg for particular kinds of social interactions. But that isn't often explicitly connected to the concept of a script being a cognitive structure that humans find useful, where there's an overall structure of beginning, middle, and end, and within that, you have a more detailed outline and some things are optional and some things depend on each other etc but you can more easily fit things together and make sense of them if you have a sense of how to structure it.

I think (for me personally, at least, of course) it becomes overwhelmingly much harder to deal with change if there isn't a script. When I sit down and articulate the process, so there's the beginning before the change, the process of change in the middle, and at the end the change has more or less finished happening and we've ended up in a different situation, it becomes much easier to grasp. But if I don't consciously think about this stuff, and automatically think about change as an instantaneous moment where there's a before and after but the change itself is just BAM! without context or connections, I'm more stressed.

So the seasonality thing is about conceptualising things as repeating cycles and deliberately using past experience to increase my sense of familiarity and control - or addressing a new situation as "the first example of its type" and taking notes that I can draw upon in the future (have done that with overwhelming situations like camping and moving house, and the idea of having preparedness in the future helped me calm down the emotions around unfamiliarity of the present).

But there's also some type of time-blindness or collapsing of time that I seem to do, and if I stop and organise all the things in my head into a type of process, that expands time and structures it and it's both emotionally and cognitively easier for me to handle it and have a sense of control and actually be able to develop coping methods.

I know this is a bit abstract, I don't know if it'll either make sense or seem useful to others. But "conceptualising things as a process" is a load-bearing part of how I approach change, including very overwhelming and distressing examples of change. It really helps me.

This makes perfect sense to me, and seems useful! I think I do a lot of similar stuff with social fluctuations, too. You eventually get to learn the social behaviors and verbal patterns that suggest the party is one hour away from ending, people are finishing their last drinks, it's time to clean up, it's time for people to chat for another forty minutes in the doorway, etc. Marking these moments as expected stages of the progression helps keep me from feeling AS waylaid when the "end time" of an event extends way past what was scheduled, because people *always* take longer than they say they will and so I can just expect it instead of believing what they say. Even larger changes like a person moving out / moving away has little quiet stages you can learn to listen to, too.

[bekkachaos]

BRIDGERTON THOUGHTS PRT 2 !

Send help it's literally more Polin I can't help it!

Once again, spoilers ahead for S3 part 2 so keep scrolling if you don't want em! This is my part 1.

It might be an unpopular opinion, but there was too much angst for me. Colin was too angsty for too long, and I know it was only really an episode and a half, But I felt like we got too much of book Colin's bad side and not enough understanding. Like I very much get it and he had a very valid reason for being hurt, but it was dragged almost to the very end of the last episode and I just wish there would have been a little less.

The constant asking if she was going to give up Whistledown kind of annoyed me and how cold he was every time they had that conversation just broke my heart a little bit for Penelope.

I know so much has been changed from books to show, but it's strange that in the book he knows about Whistledown before anything really happens, I mean they have that first kiss where she asks him to but everything else happens after he already knows. So for him to be so cold. Just made me feel sad. I understand it in the context of the show but still.

And something I really disliked was when they're in the room where they're going to have their wedding breakfast and Penelope asks something along the lines of "if you still want to marry me" and he says "I'm a man of honour and we were intimate", I really hate that it came to suggesting he would marry her out of obligation, It just really rubbed me the wrong way. And I wish it had been something along the lines of. "I love you Penelope and I want to marry you. I just don't know if I can forgive you for this", which he'd already said, but I would way rather that have been put out there than to ever even imply that he could marry her out of obligation. I know he was mad and betrayed and jealous, But that one line really bothers me. I've made a whole post basically saying this word for word but that's how strongly I feel about it! Like I get it from Colin's perspective and how he's grappling with it, I do, I just didn't like it.

Also, Colin never actually said sorry? For treating her like shit after he found out. Like I do think his feelings were valid and that he deserved to be upset, but he never said sorry for some of the stuff he said and for being cold even though Penelope apologised so many times.

Luke's emotion though when Colin found out and in the conversations after was incredible, when the tear fell at the end of ep 6 my heart stopped and then broke into tiny pieces!

Something about their pairing that I really like though is that they both feel inherently unlovable for one reason or another (Penelope has always felt completely unloved and overlooked, and Colin has always felt people showed him affections for shallow reasons and not actually for who he is), but both of them prove to each other over and over again how much they love the other and know the other and see them in a way no-one else does.

HOWEVER, I'm not sure they did a good enough job portraying Colin's side of this (I'll update on my rewatch send help). Not sure his coldness and hesitation was addressed enough as jealousy as it could have been. The scene where Penelope says "just love me and hold me and kiss me, what holds you back" and he says "I don't know" like was that just a little abrupt or was that just me? Because from the book I could follow that it's the jealousy of how accomplished she is but not sure the general audience picks up on that.

AND ANOTHER THING, there was absolutely not enough making up after everything was resolved with Whistledown, I needed more love and kisses and softness after the ball!

I know there were things being added to set up for the next season, but damn it was already 70 minutes long, what's 5 more of sweet and in love Polin??

Gotta say though, all of them with their babies in the end was adorable, and you can't deny the last shot kissing in the sunlight of the drawing room (where Penelope spent so much time staring out the window pining after Colin) was so fucking romantic! And the shot with their little baby boy, love!

One last thing, did they spend an exorbitant amount of time dancing or is that just me? Almost as much time as they all spent drinking lemonade in eps 1-4

Overall I loved their story, it's been my favourite pairing so far. Not sure any of the others will top it for me, but time will tell! Episodes 4-5 were definitely my favourites by a long shot!

Okay okay imma do part 3 with my thoughts on everything else 😂

[codenamesazanka]

Went back to reread the last bits of Jaku Arc and all of endgame. Here are some long notes (first part):

-> Chapter 295 is the best chapter of 'Deku Wanting To Save Shigaraki'. Sadly it is also just about the only chapter where Deku explicitly states he wants to save Shigaraki (the adult Villain) from AFO, from his hatred.

Deku: "You killed so many of us! And hurt countless others. That is unforgivable. It's unforgivable… and yet… back there… when you got swallowed up by All For One… At that moment… the look on your face… You look like you needed saving!"

Deku is talking about someone who just forced his teacher to mutilate himself, punched a hole through a mentor's chest, and stabbed his childhood friend. Deku was livid about these actions. And yet, when he saw the horror show that is AFO being a flesh parasite to Shigaraki, Deku was concerned. And moreover, the expression Shigaraki had on was angry, glaring, but still Deku wanted to save him.

-> Unfortunately this gets recontextualized - for the worse - in Chapter 305. Chapter 305 - the "I want to save that little boy!" chapter - is actually a mess.

-> In Chapter 305, Nana asks Deku if he has the resolve to kill Shigaraki Tomura.

Nana: You looked at him, and saw someone who looked like he needed saving. That's what you thought. We know that much because we're in sync with your emotions. Banjo: The issue is... He sure didn't look that way to us! No doubt he's suffering, what with All For One taking over his meatsuit... but that's doesn't mean the kid is hoping to be saved. Even in a sitch like that… his eyes were filled with nothing but hatred.

So here is the Vestiges basically arguing against saving Shigaraki because of the way he looked and behaved. They acknowledge that he's in pain; they acknowledge that he's in trouble with All For One (their mortal enemy!)... but he doesn't look like a proper victim, so does he actually need saving? Plus he has the potential to grow into THE ULTIMATE EVIL. Plus there are people in this world who are just beyond saving. So does Shigaraki Tomura actually need saving?

IMO, this is when Deku should argue back that, yes, Shigaraki still needs saving, simply because of the situation he's in, simply because he's suffering. Stay consistent with what Deku said just ten chapters ago. Shigaraki is awful, but he needed saving. Shigaraki has done unforgivable things, but he's still getting swallowed up by AFO, and needs saving. Shigaraki is wallowing in nihilistic rage, and (probably) therefore he needs saving. "No matter what kind of trouble someone's in," [Chapter 126] Deku wants to save everyone with a smile. He sees someone that on the surface does not appear to deserve saving - that other people are dismissing! - but he still wants to save. This would be the much stronger conviction and have much more weight to his goal of becoming the greatest Hero!

But no. It turns out, there was actually a Crying Child inside all that rage. Deku was able to look inside and see and feel a five-year-old who was full of sadness. Well, who doesn't want to save a sad five-year-old? You kinda have to!

-> Plus, this revelation of the crying child immediately makes Nana clam up and look guilty and devastated. All her previous points about THE ULTIMATE EVIL and 'people who are beyond saving' loses water because... you can't say that about a five-year-old. You probably shouldn't say that about someone who still holds an inner crying child inside of them. So this issue is immediately ditched two pages after it's brought up. Shigaraki is sad, deep down, so he's not evil or beyond saving. Therefore he deserves to be saved.

-> With this, Deku draws a nice little line in the sand to decide who should be saved: Not everyone, evidently. And it does matter what kind of trouble they're in (so maybe they deserve to continue suffering). This becomes very evident later when Deku re-encounters Muscular and Overhaul. And I feel it reached its logical conclusion when Deku can save little ghost Tenko's heart, but has no solution to Adult Villain Shigaraki and ultimately contributes to his death.

-> Yoichi also takes time this chapter to respond to Banjo's comment that Shigaraki was full of nothing but hatred by pointing out that this was how Shigaraki was groomed.

Yoichi: That's how he was groomed. My brother's own damaged body now holds him back… So it's likely… that he schemed to hijack the boy's body and soul… As part of a grand plan to acquire One For All.

However, no one reacts to this. Not the vestiges, not Deku. Yoichi is straight up telling everyone that, hey, Shigaraki Tomura here is a clear pawn in AFO's schemes. Groomed to hate, and now having his body and soul hijacked, all for the sole purpose of stealing OFA. A clear victim...

But never mind, I guess. Why care about this blood-and-flesh guy who's survived being manipulated as a child to reach adulthood only to get possessed ("No doubt he's suffering, what with All For One taking over his meatsuit") in real time and in reality and saving him from just that? We gotta focus on the ghost of the Crying Child!

-> This is where I think the Viz translation doesn't quite work out - In the original Japanese, Yoichi says 'raised', with emphasis. This conveys and highlights the meaning that Shigaraki was not brought up properly, was manipulated in some way, but otherwise it's a relatively neutral word. In English, it's 'groomed', which everyone loves quoting, but that's a much more charged word, with the added connotation of Shigaraki never having had any agency. It is a word that makes everyone look real bad when they don't react to it. Like here.

-> When asked again by Nana if he has the resolve to kill Shigaraki, Deku reflects on his previous enemies.

Deku: Up till now, I've come up against all types. They've refused to back down... so fighting was the only way to stop them. But... I never understood what made them turn out that way. If I had, maybe things would've worked out differently. Or, who knows? Maybe I still would've had to fight them anyway.

Bolded is mine. My opinion, but this is wishy-washy-ness of the highest magntitude. This isn't Deku getting an enlightenment and from this moment on deciding to start approaching Villains differently. This is him casually considering a 'maybe'. This is him recognizing that there's a blindspot in his fights thus far... but unable to envision a future where he can correct that blindspot. Maybe things might have worked out differently... maybe not. Fighting is still on the table.

On it's own, it's fine. Deku's just thinking about his previous fights. He's musing about 'what if's. But this is him thinking as a response to Nana asking him to kill Shigaraki if Shigaraki proves unsaveable. This is him laying out the groundwork for his approach to Shigaraki. "Maybe if I understand him and try to save him, I can stop him that way... or maybe yeah, I still have to fight (kill) him."

-> And finally, we have The Declaration. I Want To Save That Little Boy. I am sorry to inform you that if you look at the context surrounding the sentence, it's not actually about saving Shigaraki/That Little Boy.

Deku: Shigaraki killed so many people. He's hurt people near and dear to me. And yet!! One For All is a power meant for saving, not killing. All Might taught me that. And not just me. All Might... and all of you who've built up this power... have given hope to countless people out there. I get that this power was first meant to destroy that evil. But you've all given your lives to link the chain this far... and I think there's another big purpose behind it all! Maybe there's no other way besides killing. And I dunno what I'm going to do when the time comes... But I want to save... that little boy.

Let's break it down.

"Shigaraki killed so many people. He's hurt people near and dear to me. And yet!! One For All is a power meant for saving, not killing." - Already the focus is taken away from saving Shigaraki. The focus is on OFA as a power. OFA saves - therefore, the implication is that it can be used to save Shigaraki. The implication is all we get.

It's also not that Shigaraki shouldn't be killed - and Deku brings up Shigaraki's crimes so he clearly thinks they're relevant to whatever his unspoken judgment of Shigaraki is - it's that OFA is a power that shouldn't be used for killing.

We of course then get stuff about All Might, because Deku cannot shut up about All Might. But once again, the focus is on OFA and All Might, and how they inspires other people. How they give other people hope. Does it give Shigaraki hope? No - as Deku should well know from their Mall Talk. I think this counts as failure number one in trying to understand Shigaraki, and Deku hasn't even officially started yet.

"I think there's another big purpose behind it all! Maybe there's no other way besides killing." Sadly, despite what I think we as a fandom has gaslit ourselves into thinking, killing is still on the table. Had been from the start. Deku believes that saving is also what OFA is now meant for... but he doesn't commit to it. He keeps killing as a possibility, instead of getting rid of it completely.

"And I dunno what I'm going to do when the time comes..." Deku never gets a plan. He says this in Chapter 305, and still has no plan in Chapter 417. Without a plan to ensure saving Shigaraki is a successful, of course killing is on the table.

Then after all that, finally, Deku says he wants to Save That Little Boy. That's the line we were all fixated on, because that's what matters to us. As it turns out, what Deku was fixated on was all the stuff before this line.

Overall, the gist seems to be: OFA is a power that's meant for saving, and that concept has given inspiration to Deku and many people out there. This power has evolved to be about saving... and that's why he wants to save that little boy.

(BUT maybe there's no other way besides killing)

(Deku also has no idea what to do when the time comes.)

So this part of Deku's speech, leading up to The Declaration? Not about the victim. It's not about Shigaraki and saving him from AFO. It's not even really about The Crying Child and his exact circumstances. It's about the abstract idea of saving - and propping up OFA and All Might.

-> Cheap blow but it is notable that Deku says "I want to save that little boy" and not "I will save that little boy". Where's your stubborn shonen determination, kid?

-> Also extremely hilarious in hindsight when you realize OFA ends up still being something that destroys AFO. And something that lead to Shigaraki's death. So much for being a power that saves.

-> Chapter 305, overall:

Deku never actually says 'No' to the possibility of killing Shigaraki.

Shigaraki Tomura is acknowledged explicitly to be suffering from AFO possession, but the idea of saving him is disregarded in favor of That Sad Little Boy.

And we're not actually here to save the victim - we're here because OFA is So Cool.

Off to a great start.

[myrmica]

hey why do you keep drawing vitalasy /nearly kissing people but he is not looking at them. he is looking Out At The Audience. why is he so aware.

it's actually partially unintentional, because his pupils are lighter than his sclera so it always makes him look like he's looking away even if i do try to draw him looking forward from a profile view. which is funny because i do obviously also draw him staring at the audience on purpose sometimes, but it's sort of like he just does that whether i want him to or not IDK…. Haunted painting motherfucker

"why" is an interesting question though. in part it's because of the emotional qualities i associate with him, i love the way his voice sounds when he's upset and how much dramatic presence he can have in those moments, and the way he gets so close to both other players' faces And to the camera. he's just sort of intense sometimes. plus it stands in contrast to how i always either draw zam's eyes closed or stylize them as dots, which is like… you say "people" but so far it's always been zam, i don't know if it would stand out quite as much if i drew him kissing subz instead.

it's very easy for me to feel like i'm inside of zam's head watching his pov. he jokes that his twitch chat is his thoughts but it does actually feel that way, we always know what zam knows. on the other hand, vitalasy has to be so cautious about information in s4 that you never get anything like that with him. instead it feels like the audience is a separate party whose presence he's aware of and having to work around. and then there's Also the element of uncertainty in his relationship with zam where they aren't ever on the same page about anything, they're lying to themselves and each other in various ways, vitalasy can't reliably trust zam's word on what he wants, and zam is giving him nothing but mixed signals ever. so you get things like zam initiating something while vitalasy is like "but everything else he's ever done contradicts this? are you guys seeing this? where am i right now?!??"

on a vague poetic level, i guess i feel like if zam and vitalasy look directly at each other that's when the relationship fails. for eclipse to last zam has to ignore all of the implications and let himself be led blindly. vitalasy is caught between the fantasy he's constructed and the fact that he doesn't actually feel good about zam suppressing his own needs in order to maintain the relationship. it's like seeing something out of the corner of your eye that vanishes if you turn to look. or whatever

TLDR:

[pixlokita]

I guess idk I’ve never experienced it myself so that’s why I can’t draw it -w- or maybe there’s a secret that nobody is telling me┌( ◕ 益 ◕ )ᓄ pls sharing is caring

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

[moeblob]

I unfortunately picked up Bravely Default 2 again (I bought it back when it released) and then started over since I last played it in June 2021. And. You know what. I like these silly beans. And then I saw concept art for Dag's expressions and I am not the same. Why did they decide to give him huge fangs in it.

(also I'm trying so hard to avoid spoilers less for plot but more for characters so if you know anything that happens to characters shhhhh. also the expression concept is below the read more so you can see what I mean.)

[fluffalpenguin]

the mean girls of duel academia

[sysig]

How much of me is me? (Patreon)

[cathalbravecog]

i'm the antonymph of the internet

[blobbei-art]

Forcing myself to doodle more and it resulted in Werewolf!Descole because I like creatures and it’s halloween mood. Luke would definitely use this opportunity to the fullest to mess with Desmond