#it's 2023 and i'm having thoughts about glee

[bigassbowlingballhead]

i wish i could hear darren criss singing the "dirty little freaks" line in raise your glass for the first time again

[omgsuperstarg]

Shut up and Drive- Toto Wolff x Assistant! Reader

Another one shot with the Capricorn King Toto Wolff. I hope yall like it and subscribe for more

This short is based on this video with him and his lovely wife Susie!!! Ughhh I live for them soo much, they're such a cute and POWERFUL COUPLE!!!!

Alright!!! Let's burn some rubber!!!!!!!!!!

As one of Toto's assistants, it's stipulated that you keep him on track of his appointments and all drama that entails throughout the day. You had your fair share of chaos and it always goes on overdrive on a race weekend. Right now the team is currently in Miami for another Race for the 2023 season and with the sweltering sun and hotter cars it was shaping up to be another fun weekend.

This is your outfit. imagine the Mercedes shirt replacing the blouse

Your gloves

You were multitasking between your computer and Toto and Bono as they analyzed data before the race kicked off when suddenly your best friend and Mercedes' Social Media moderator Jessica approached you.

"Y/N just the girl I wanted to see, I have a fun assignment for you," She says smiling evilly

"Oh boy, I know im gonna regret life choices ", I respond playfully scared.

"Don't worry love, you're going to be doing this assignment with Toto so you'll be safe. How do you feel about driving around the BOSS", she says wringing her hands like a bond villain.

"What are we waiting for, LETS GOO!!", you say pulling her towards the beloved team principal.

Once Toto was caught up to speed, both you and Toto proceeded to the vehicle with your cell phone out to capture it all.

Entering the car, you strapped in your seatbelt and began to record your POV.

"Okay guys, here I am bout to be driven around the track by my Boss. If you don't hear from me again you know who to look at", you say while flipping the camera to show your boss.

"Don't worry, you'll be completely fine and ill even drive slow", the statuesque man sounds while patting my shoulder in a comforting way.

"You say that now but I know the gears be running in your head on ways to torment me. I can feel this is your hazing ritual for me since I'm new," you say while giggling. Your face however is still sceptical, the car begins moving as you begin to further document your trip and that's when the chaos starts.

Toto pumps the gas without warning and the speed was astounding like any adrenaline junkie you begin to cheer in delight.

"Wooooo, this is what im talking bout. It's official I'm petitioning for Toto to be a stunt driver!!", you say as your body slightly moves with the car as it turns.

"I wonder if the fans petitioned you to be James Bond, cuz you have the vintage look of the early movies but a lot more gentlemanly. "you say as you whip your head to the statuesque Austrian.

"A few times, I thought about acting, but I figured it wasn't my place.", he says wistfully.

"Alright boss man,it's the final turn. Give me some speed and remember, if I aint feeling some kind of G force you going too slow."you say while giggling.

You take notice of his playful smile,which resembles a wolfish grin. You couldn't help but snap a picture to remember the moment. This should be one of the main pictures of the post. Sadly, all things must end. Finally, it's your turn.

You decided to wear your fingerless leather gloves for this moment and connect your phone to the car's radio since you have the perfect song in mind.

"Okay, now I have one of my lovely assistants to take her little spin round the track," the leader responds with his Austrian accent shining through.

I'm lovely?!?! Aweee sir, you flatter me, but I hope you don't mind if I put on a little music for us to cruise to, "you say, smiling in glee.

So you turn the radio up and started off slow. After the road was clear, I went full-on fast and furious.

You were hitting those turns like the drivers on the track.

"I hope you're enjoying yourself boss", you state while keeping eyes on the road and jamming to the song on the radio. "I can truly say that this is an experience. I love your touch of the gloves and playing Rihanna is quite fitting for the situation", he speaks with his joyful laugh filling your ears.

"I never thought you would be a Rihanna fan", playfully gasping at his statement. You can thank my eldest daughter for that", he says.

"Are you sure you're not a driver?", the boss man playfully asks. "No, I wish. Maybe if I have gotten into it from a young, now I would've been turning heads but I'm happy where I am, I still get to be in a world I love with the most chill team EVER!!", you say getting a little emotional.

The car slows down as you return to the pits, wishing the time wasn't over. After exiting you gave Toto a hug thanking him for a great time as well as for putting up with your crazy fun.

"I enjoyed it and I sure as hell wouldn't mind doing a carpool karaoke with you the next time",

"I've already made note of it sir and Im looking forward to hearing THAT VOICE", you say as you conclude your heart-to-heart heading back to the garage to observe the good chaos of race day.

[wowbright]

Fic: Brotherly Duties

Fandom/pairing: Glee, Kurt/Blaine

Event: December Klaine Fanworks Challenge 2023

Words: ~700 words                                           

Rating: Mature

Summary: Kurt gets a package from Cooper in the mail.

Notes: This is part of my Mormon!Klaine universe. It takes place after Out of Eden, which I am still in the process of posting to AO3. It’s among the likely possibilities for their future.

* * *

Two months before Blaine returned from his mission, Kurt received a package in the mail. “Special delivery from Cooper Anderson,” his dad said, handing it to Kurt in the kitchen. “Easter Peeps?”

It had become a thing with them. For Kurt’s return home from his mission, for Pioneer Day, for Labor Day and Thanksgiving and Christmas and Valentine’s Day, Cooper made it a habit to regale Kurt with Peeps. Kurt’s dad had thought it was a little odd at first, but Kurt had explained it away with, “It’s sort of a thing from our mission,” followed by, “Also, he’s weird.”

Kurt’s arms buckled from the unexpected weight as he took the package from his dad. “That feels heavier than Peeps, Dad.” The package wasn’t heavy, exactly, but it was at least a couple pounds—not the scant ounces that marshmallow and thin paperboard should weigh.

His dad shrugged. “I thought so too, but I didn’t think this Cooper guy knew how to mail anything else. I mean, I know I’ve seen him on TV, but with all these packages you’ve gotten from him, I’ve kind of started to picture him in my head like a giant PEZ dispenser—which I know doesn’t exactly work, Peeps are marshmallows and PEZ are solid, but still … You swear he wasn’t a PEZ dispenser when you met him?”

“Scout’s honor, Dad.” Kurt considered the padded envelope in his hands. Through it, the contents felt stiff and rectangular.  “It’s probably a bunch of signed headshots for me to share with friends and family. That’s his idea of a generous gift.” Kurt tore open the flap, peeked in, and immediately closed the envelope back up, feeling his cheeks betray his embarrassment. “Never mind. I'll open it later.”

His father gave him an amused look. “The head shots are that bad, huh?”

“Something like that,” Kurt said, standing up from the kitchen table and heading toward his room, where he closed the door and locked it and considered putting a chair under the handle for good measure. But no, that was silly. He was a grown adult. This was nothing to be ashamed of. Besides, his parents respected his privacy.

Instead, Kurt pulled the chair up to his desk and sat down, sliding the contents of the envelope out onto the desk. A hardcover copy of The Joy of Gay Sex made a loud thumping noise as it fell on to the surface.

There was a note, too:

Bought this for my brother—I even inscribed it to him!—but then I realized there was no good way to get it to him in Germany. Too high a chance of it being intercepted by someone in his mission, and who knows, customs would probably charge him duties on it anyway. I felt vanquished and without hope. But then I realized this was all for the better. You're the one he's all hot for, and I'm pretty sure you’re going to pounce on each other as soon as you possibly can after he gets off the plane (gets off, get it?), so you really better know what you're doing. This book actually has mixed reviews from my gay friends, but it was the one most of them mentioned when I asked for recommendations, and it’s illustrated, which I think will be very helpful. I hope you don't still have Mormon hang ups about every picture of a naked body being porn. I looked through the book, and I thought the illustrations were very educational and not too raunchy at all. Of course, if you want to jerk off to them, that's your business and nobody else’s. Have fun!

Kurt's face was on fire all the way to the roots of his hair. He put the letter in the shredder and opened the book. And indeed, there was an inscription to Blaine on the title page:

Blainey— Not being knowledgeable in this area, I hand off some of my older brother sex-talk duties to this educational volume. One tip I can give you: you'll probably want to let up on the hair gel a little during times of intimacy, particularly for certain acts in which your lover is likely to want to grab your hair. Trust me on this one. —Coop

[youwouldmissmeinyourbones]

Fic Rec Friday

So, I'm pretty sure everyone has read this, but if you haven't you HAVETO.

It's Make Them Bow by the amazing for_darkness_shows_the_stars.

“Awww. So you’ve heard about me.” Damon grins. It shows off his fangs. “Can’t say the same about you. Mate.” “Oh, I sincerely doubt that.” Stefan chooses that moment to stand. He saunters over to the two of them and throws an arm over his friend’s shoulder. There is no mistaking the glee in his eyes. “Damon,” he says. “Might I introduce an old friend of mine? His name is Klaus.” . Klaus makes his way to Mystic Falls early, and for far less sinister reasons ... or, I drop Klaus into season one and watch the chaos unfold.

It's 224,820 words so it's a pretty long read but it is absolutely amazing.

Basically, Klaus is dropped into season 1 of tvd and Caroline promptly befriends him. It roughly follows canon and the consequent sub-plots, but in my opinion, it's mostly beautiful, pure, amazing fluff and the absolute most adorable interactions between all of the characters.

Klaus's inner monologue also has me literally crying at points because it's such a good representation of all the trauma he went through (which we all love to use as an excuse for anything bad he does 🫶). Vampires, especially old ones, presumably have more complex and thorough thought patterns and I think this is also represented really well.

I also love (and I'm not spoiling anything cos this is in the tags) how Liz adopts Klaus and is such a caring and gentle parental figure after a thousand years of Klaus viewing parents as Those Most Likely To Fuck You Up. In general, Liz's adapting to Caroline's vampirism is really well represented.

Anyway, I'm re-reading it this week, so I had to talk to someone about it. And I know I put this one on my 2023 fic list but I didn't realise that until I'd typed out this whole thing.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk ❤️

[mdverse]

md's fun silly little top 10(ish) arts of the 2023!*

*pretend there's a fun cute doodled banner here (i was going to make one earlier and then i forgor)

doing a lil recap of my top 10 15 (it was supposed to be 10 and i could not narrow it down oops) best(? this is subjective as fuck i guess it's more like my personal faves) drawings of the year! *the crowd cheers* (it’s me I’m the crowd)

15: paradise by the dashboard light! i hate to rank her so low bc i spent ages on her but it seems i don't love the result that much anymore so :/ a for effort for me tho this was ambitious

14: cheer girl loml <33 not my best art technically by far but i went way out of my comfort zone for the background and the art style (for no good reason really) (i just wanted to do a comic book thing bc superhero vibes or whatever) (it did not come out the way i was hoping it would bc i think i got too frustrated) and we simply must acknowledge that. atog did things to me that i cannot explain

13: barbie meme brittana! not my best britt but truly sooo fun to work on. there's nothing quite like finding a fun rendering process and then never using it again (i don't even remember how i coloured this but i like it)

12: cowboy barbie brittana <3 they look good, they're about to kiss, cute outfits, pretty sunset, probably went overboard with the rim lighting, what's not to love? a banger, i think

11: i say a little prayer! i think the background is. questionable at best. but this is still really fun! i think i got possessed when i got to the uniforms bc goddamn they look good

10: klaine?? on this blog???? almost unheard of lmao i truly did not think i would like this one as much as i did. i'd consider ranking it higher if i wasn't constantly Unwell over brittana but again, i'm biased, and no one here should be surprised about that

9: pre-wedding kiss my beloved! with how insane i've been over this kiss it could perhaps be higher. i am gnawing on my desk as we speak i'm not even sitting at a desk rn

8: rutherchang x black swan!! ohhh u guys i don't talk about this one enough i think it's so pretty i don't even remember how i did the colours for it but rhgfdkngd?? love her, love pushing the glee x bts agenda, if any of u gifmakers are interested in making a mike chang x black swan lyric gifset i will love u forever

7: colour wheel challenge! busted my whole tiddies and ass for this one fellas. labour of love etc etc i think staring at the bright colours for so long made my eyesight worse and i'm ok with that

6: mistletoe brittana <33 easily the best instalment of this series by a long shot! recency bias (and also just. regular bias) made me rank her much higher originally but technically she is not the most intricate piece so she must sit down here

5: prom queen kurt! dare i say a girlslay on my behalf? i think i dare. every time i see it i think i should do more glosters (glee posters) and then i don't. i could tho they would be really cool (source: dude trust me)

4: churro kiss redraw!!! genuinely Not Sane over this! never have been, never will be! redraws are like crack to me and so is this kiss

3: furtana!! i neglected them for far too long this year but if neglecting them results in art like this i may have to do it again

2: heart kiss <3 if we're being really honest and vulnerable in the chat tonight i think this is technically my best of the brittana kiss screencap redraw things i've done this year? which i did not see coming but i guess practice means refining the process etc etc so. it makes sense ig. mwah to them <3

1: black or white gcv animation <3 it's not what i would call my best drawing (bc it's, yknow, not just one drawing) but it is what i would call the product of a very obsessive thought and some frantic art sessions. objectively it's the coolest thing i've done this year so it deserves the top spot. i'm proud of it i hope to glanimate more next year. also this isn't art but it's a relevant post that i still stand by months later

[picturespurple-68]

Rusame/Amerus Secret Santa 2023 Gift

This is my secret santa gift for @vodkanburgers

I'm not really used to writing fluff so I hope you like it!

Summary: Cardverse au, Alfred is away on business and sends Ivan a few gifts to keep him company in his absence.

Rating: Teen (mostly sfw but the ending is suggestive)

To Ivan, Alfred was many things: a loud mouth with a lack of impulse control, a gifted magic wielder praised far too much throughout his land, and, just like himself, a grown child forced into the role of ruler much too soon. At least, as neighbors, they found they could confide in each other what few living could understand. Their circumstances had led to a deep kinship between the two, and that kinship had recently found itself evolving into a courtship (with the approval of their queens and aces of course). However, the little differences in how their kingdoms go about "dating" (as Alfred would call it), has led to a few instances of rendering Ivan more flustered than he’s ever been in his life.

Within the Spadian kingdom, gift giving is seen as the most celebrated of gestures because to them, it shows just how much someone really knows about those they love and to give them the things they want without ever having to ask. Truthfully, Ivan saw it more as an excuse to flaunt one's wealth and to monetize some of the most inane things, however he couldn't deny the giddiness he felt whenever another one of Alfred’s presents showed up at his castle's steps.

That's why, with Alfred out on a trip to the Diamonds’ kingdom for the next several weeks, Ivan wasn't surprised when he found the first gift of many placed neatly on his bed with a deep indigo envelope sat next to it.

Gift #1

"To my dearest,

Ivan, I hope in my absence I fill your thoughts just as much as you fill mine. In times like this I wished I had had a memento of yours to keep at my side, but I guess that’s why hindsight is 20/20. That’s why I've taken the liberty of capturing a photo more special than any ever made just for you.

With love,

Alfred

P.S. Don’t be afraid to take a closer look at it~"

The note was sappy, more so than usual. Ivan wondered if maybe the dramatics of the over emotional Diamonds’ people had rubbed off on the Spadian in such a short amount of time.

The accompanied box was thin and carefully wrapped in a golden ribbon that Ivan didn't hesitate to open. What he saw inside was a silver, ornately metal frame of tiny vines and flora that held behind glass a picture of Alfred. The glowing smile he always wore displayed prominently as he was captured mid wave to the camera. It was adorable.

Pulled in closer as told, he ran a gentle thumb down his framed face and a second later almost dropped the thing when Alfred moved. His hand was actually now waving at him and his smile transformed into an open silent laugh. When his movements slowed, he gave a smooth wink and mouthed something to the viewer before it suddenly reset to its original still image. In fascination at this new feat, Ivan watched it loop the same thing over and over until he was able to read the words on Alfred’s lips, “I love you”.

–

Only a few weeks had passed when a second package and letter was delivered straight to Ivan. He didn’t hesitate to rush to his chambers and open both items in private.

Gift #2

"To my dearest,

Ivan, in the short amount of time I've been here, Francis has asked me just about every question about the two of us (and obviously taking too much glee in watching me squirm). His doting “big brother” behavior reminds me of Arthur and it’s a wonder how they seemingly can’t find a middle ground like us to remain civil.

Aside from him, I've been enjoying my time with Diamond's newest royal Queen Lillie. She's almost as young as we were when called and has honestly been a real breath of fresh air among the stuffy coots in their court. In our free time she’s even begun teaching me knitting, like you love to do, and I’ve made you something special.

With love,

Alfred

P.S. I'm still a bit rusty, so if you really really really love me, you won't judge my work too harshly!"

That last part brought out a chuckle from him. This box now was bigger than the first one and as he lifted the lid, a look of confusion crossed his face. Inside was a "folded" mass of red fabric made of a thin yarn material. Picking the item up didn't really help as the shape revealed itself to be something like a…shawl, but the knitted threads were too spaced out to be of proper use in the cold. It seems he wanted to make Ivan something like a scarf, just as he’s done in the past for Alfred.

While not the best work, the thought definitely still counted. It even made his heart beat and brought him joy when he could smell a faint trace of the sharp cologne the young man loved to smother himself in. He knew just where to put this gift.

Gently, he folded up the fabric and placed it on his bedside table as a new piece of decor. Now it would make a lovely scene for Ivan to wake up to while it sat right next to his specially framed photo of Alfred’s goofy mug.

–

With only a week left before his return, Ivan was surprised when another gift was announced for him. It was the weightiest of all three packages and he was hungry with curiosity to open the, strangely, beige colored box.

Gift #3

“To my dearest,

Ivan, being without you has left me longing for you day, and especially night. I’ve missed holding you, I’ve missed sharing a bed with you, and I’ve missed touching the most intimate parts of your body. As soon as I’m able to see you again, I want to cover your face in the biggest, sloppiest kisses I can make and keep you in my company until we’re nagged enough to go back to our duties.

I know how flustered you usually get after reading your sisters’ romance novels and I can only dream of how you are now. If that is the case, please be sure you’re alone when you open your present. It took quite a bit of trial and error, but the final product is totally worth it. Just about one week left!

With love,

Alfred

P.S. Hopefully you think of me every time you use it.”

The contents of his letter stayed rooted in his mind like a weed in his greenhouse. From the things he referred to, Ivan had an idea of what could be in that box and waited until after dinner to rush off to his room.

On his bed sat the box. With jittery hands, he opened it to find a royal purple satin bag closed by a simple drawstring. By holding the bag Ivan could make out the shape of something cylindrical and when he pulled it out, he saw it was white with a cap to screw off. Removing it revealed– Oh.

A flesh colored inside greeted his eyes and his face flush harder than he’s ever felt since Alfred first confessed to him. He quickly re-capped the thing and sat in embarrassed silence with the object held in his lap. Questions swirled through his head of why, when, and how, but another one dominated them all.

What does it feel like?

Ivan knew when the man got back he was going to be hounded about if he got his gifts and how much did he like them. Curiosity burned inside and it only made sense to use his gift like how Alfred intended it. Just thinking about how happy he’ll be to see him again is all it really took for Ivan to give in and un-cap the device. The two other presents on his bedside table will be of great use tonight, tomorrow, and every night until he’ll get to physically hold Alfred again.

[droughtofapathy]

The Gilded Age's Broadway Divas: Caroline "Lina" Schermerhorn Astor (Donna Murphy)

A queen among her people, Mrs. Astor rules over New York high society, and spends the show being challenged by New Money Bertha Russell at every turn.

Two-time Tony winner Donna Murphy is one of Broadway's greatest Divas. Though most recognize her as the voice of Disney's Mother Gothel in Rapunzel, her voice is better known to me personally as one of my earliest gay awakenings for her audiobook performance of Ruby Holler, but that's a separate story. One of Sondheim's most beloved interpreters, Donna has such an expansive repertoire that limiting myself proved damn near impossible. Her Tonys for Best Actress in a Musical were in 1994 (Passion) and 1996 (The King and I) and I will forgive her for the later despite my documented hatred of that musical.

Other sumptuous performances include: The Mystery of Edwin Drood (Ensemble, later Drood), Wonderful Town (Ruth), Hello Dolly! (Bette Midler's Tuesday night alternative and superior performer in every way), and Encores! Dear World (my #1 theatre experience of 2023). With the later two, Donna is well on her way to achieving the Jerry Herman trifecta. Someone mount a production of Mame starring Donna Murphy as Mame.

#1: "Could I Leave You?" Follies - The Stephen Sondheim 80th Birthday Concert (2010)

Many a Diva has taken on this song, but no one can come close to the rapturous performance Donna Murphy gives during the iconic Ladies in Red segment of the Sondheim 80th birthday concert. This video right here is the reason I am the Sondheim woman that I am. There have been many women who have played Phyllis over the years, and I've fallen a little in love with all of them (Jan Maxwell, my beloved), but Donna is everything.

Surrounded by five other iconic Divas dressed in red, Donna shows that her acting choices whilst singing remain unmatched. The controlled start, the rapid devolution, the rage in that final word. And the strands of hair that will not stay out of her face. I am obsessed. The reactions of the other women (note Patti LuPone's glee and Marin Mazzie, dear friend and Passion co-star's bursting pride) say it all. The entire concert is one marvel after another. Do yourself a favor and watch it.

I consider this song one of Sondheim's greatest works (Send in the Clowns, eat your heart out...but also...Donna did that at the 90th birthday concert, so there's that too).

#2: "Hit Me With a Hot Note," a benefit for Fran Liebergall (2015) and What About Joan (2001)

I couldn't decide which version to post, so you get both. Congratulations. This song showcases Mrs. Astor's wild side as Donna delves into growls, shimmies, shakes, and belts. "Hit Me with a Hot Note" is a Duke Ellington song that appeared on Broadway in Jelly's Last Jam (which will receive an Encores! production this spring). I never thought a white woman could scat, but I'm not mad about it.

The first video is a concert benefit for Fran Liebergall in 2015. The second is from a short-lived tv series in the early 2000s where Donna plays Ruby Stern, a smart and staid doctor who has a dream of appearing on Broadway. Apparently, the producers of the show were totally unaware that two-time Tony winner for Leading Actress in a Musical Donna Murphy could sing. I'm just as shocked by that as you are.

#3: "Surabaya Johnny," LoveMusik (2007)

Mrs. Astor is one of many real-life historical figures on Donna Murphy's acting resume. Another real-life figure is that of Lotte Lenya, an Austrian-American actress and singer best known for her work/marriage with Kurt Weill. LoveMusik explores that relationship. Lotte Lenya had a distinctive voice, and here Donna transforms her own signature voice to match Lenya's.

LoveMusik received mixed reviews, but garnered four Tony nominations for Best Musical, and Best Leading Actors for Donna and for leading man Michael Cerveris, The Gilded Age's Mr. Watson.

Donna has truly perfected the way to break down during a song.

#4: "The Story of Lucy and Jessie," Follies (2007)

Prior to the Sondheim 80th, Donna played Phyllis Rogers Stone in the 2007 Encores! production of Follies (alongside Christine Baranski). This was considered her triumphant return to the New York stage following an unsteady attendance record in the early 2000s owing to a long battle with vocal hemorrhaging (running concurrently with multiple miscarriages). Her turn as the jaded former Follies girl was nothing short of sublime. In those days, Encores! concerts weren't remotely the fully choreographed shows they are now. Donna, who describes herself as a "singer who moves well," proves that in spades.

To my everlasting devastation, this clip omits the opening verse, but I think her legs more than make up for it. The little glove removal moment is a nod to an alternate number that has been used in place of this one depending on the production. For singers who are not as dance-capable, "Ah, But Underneath" offers up a sensational strip tease, and I, for one, would have liked to see that too, even if Lucy and Jessie is a better number.

#5: "Loving You," Passion (1994)

Though her riveting portrayal of a chronical ill woman who seduces a soldier in mid-19th century Italy earned Donna her first Tony, it was not a well-received show. Audiences disgusted by the obsessive and unattractive Fosca would cheer when she collapsed onstage every night. They couldn't fathom how Giorgio (Jere Shea) would leave his affair with the beautiful Clara (Marin Mazzie, who appears totally nude for the opening number) for a sicky woman like Fosca. Since then, like most Sondheim shows, we have come to appreciate the brilliance of the story, the score, and the actors with time.

Donna's immersion into this role is the stuff of Broadway legend. This song in particular, though simple in melody and lyrics, carries such deep emotion, and the way she sings as if every note pains her just ruins me. Her dramatic range cannot be praised enough. The entire proshot can be found HERE, and I cannot recommend it enough.

Story time: a few years ago I bid on the original lobby board that hung inside the theater, and I am now a proud owner of a piece of history. It stands in my living room and is nearly as tall as I am. It is my most treasured possession.

Bonus: For a more comprehensive of all things Donna Murphy, please enjoy this playlist curated by @princesspufferr. And if anyone wants a bootleg of Dear World, I've got you covered.

LINK TO MASTERPOST

[twinsunstars]

Let’s break the Ahsoka trailer down.

ft. this little pure soul

Things we knew before the trailer:

Centers around Ahsoka (obviously)

Takes place after Rebels era

Features original characters from Star Wars Rebels: Sabine Wren, Ezra Bridger, Hera Syndulla, Chopper, and Grand Admiral Thrawn

Now that a teaser trailer has dropped in honor of Star Wars Celebration 2023 kicking off today, fans have obtained more footage of what we are going to look forward to this August. Considering the live celebration premiering on YouTube started at 5 AM where I live, I definitely had to stop myself from screaming with glee to not wake up my family. I've been a Rebels and Clone Wars fan since the pandemic, and the lore is captivating. Let's take a look at the characters set to make appearances in the series.

Rosario Dawson returns as Ahsoka Tano, previously playing her role in The Mandalorian, which was the character's live-action debut. We see Ahsoka at the beginning of the teaser in a place that is yet to be known, but it is clear that she senses something coming, and it's definitely going to be big. Ahsoka continues to protect herself in this galaxy, searching for answers.

Natasha Liu Bordizzo plays the live-action debut of Sabine Wren, and I adore her look! Normally, fans see Sabine with a very short cut, but her constant re-dying of her hair is nothing new. This time, we see her with long wavy hair with shades of magenta and orange, and I'm pretty sure I see some red and purple in there. Sabine appears to be staying on Lothal, which was Ezra's home. What she's been up to, that is to be seen.

Our beloved duo, Hera Syndulla and her brave droid, Chopper! The last we saw them in animation, we got to see a younger version of Hera in Season 2 of Star Wars: The Bad Batch. Here, the two make their live action debut, with Mary Elizabeth Winstead playing the role of Hera.

Considering the Rebels finale (sorry for anyone who hasn't seen the show, feel free to skip this part if you haven't!), we know she had a child who carries the blood of her late lover and Ezra's Jedi Master, Kanan Jarrus, who had passed in an explosion after saving Hera from the Imperials.

We have yet to learn who will be playing the young Jacen Syndulla, or if he will be making an appearance at all.

We all know the woman on the left to be Mon Mothma, a senator who fights against the Empire, played by the elegant Genevieve O'Reilly. The woman on the right was first seen in the same episode of The Mandalorian that Ahsoka had made her live-action debut in. Morgan Elsbeth, played by Diana Lee Inosanto, was seen ruling a town and facing off against Ahsoka, leading to Ahsoka defeating her. Her role in this series is yet to be learned of, but it most likely will answer how Ahsoka had known her before this.

When I first saw these characters, the first thought that went to my head was, "Are they inquisitors??" Actor and actress Ray Stevenson and Ivanna Sakhno will be playing these roles. Stevenson will play Baylan (left), and the name of the woman is yet to be revealed. I'm curious to hear more about these new characters and what purpose they will have in the series.

IT'S HIM! Since the day Rebels came to an end, fans all miss Ezra Bridger, questioning where he went and how he is. The hashtag, #ezracomehome, became very popular. This is just a hologram, but there are theories that he will likely come back in the series. How? We'll see. Ezra's live-action debut will be played by Eman Esfandi.

"The heir of the Empire." That line gave me goosebumps. It's been a long time since we've seen Grand Admiral Thrawn on the screens, and now he will be making his live-action debut in Ahsoka. Last in The Mandalorian, Ahsoka questions Morgan Elsbeth, asking "Where is Grand Admiral Thrawn?" Ever since, fans have been coming back to that line, knowing that Thrawn will probably be coming back, and now, we'll get to see his role in this world. The person who will be playing the role of Thrawn is still unknown, and we have still not gotten a proper look at him. Fans will be awaiting the news and more of his appearances.

When Ezra became lost to space during the finale, so was Thrawn. So how has he returned?

Here, we see Ahsoka facing off against what appears to be an Inquisitor. In another part of the trailer, we see her face off against Stevenson's character. There will definitely be a lot of action happening in the series, and Ahsoka's fights are always something looking forward to watching.

According to sources, Hayden Christensen will be reprising his role as Anakin Skywalker, although we have not seen any footage of him in this series just yet. Anakin played a vital role in Ahsoka's life as her Jedi Master while she was in the Jedi Order. In Rebels, Ahsoka faces off against Darth Vader, realizing that it is Anakin and hearing his voice again as he tries to kill her. Ahsoka has been through a lot since her time as a Jedi and on the run since Order 66, and it does not stop there.

There are many questions resurfacing with this teaser, but there will definitely be more footage coming before Ahsoka makes it's debut. Will surely be going on a Rebels rewatch before the series comes out. If you want to see more of Ahsoka before the show, consider watching Star Wars: The Clone Wars and the episodes she appears in in The Mandalorian and The Book of Boba Fett, and her episodes in Star Wars: Rebels. I can't wait to see the loth cats again, as they were completely adorable in Rebels.

Ahsoka is set to start on Disney+ in August 2023.

[molthethratrenerd]

my gender

This is gonna be a long rant abt my gender so you do have to read it. I just need to say it.

Ok so ive been question my gender/sexuality for like 3-4 years now and i this was kinda it

Oh i'm a bi girl -> im pan girl -> lesbian -> pan she/they still a girl but queerer

Then like i was more worried about trying to figure out my sexuality right cause like i wanted to be kissed before my 16th (that didn't happen) 

Then like maybe mid 2022 i started thinking about gender and i knew 2 trans people but i was kinda like no that can't be me flashforward to march 2023 i got in to will wood and i was like ‘no way i'm in anyway trans but if i could be him i would’ and i like said to myself that i just thought he was attractive?? Then the same thing happened with the character jesse st james from glee which was even weird because there was no way i would want to date him, so thats when she/they pronouns came in i put it in my bio. Then kids from my class found out and made fun of it so i changed em back to she/her. 

Then since like september last year it feels like minimum weekly i’d either not be able to stop thinking abt gender or take way too many ‘what's my gender quizzes’ 

And like i feel its alway been in the day of my head, but its becoming more prevalent since then ive been like could i be non binary, genderfluid pintrest boards. At the beginning of the year i cut my hair again, which felt so good,.

So now somedays im having thoughts like ‘oh my fucking god why cant i drink something and be a guy’ ‘please for fucks sake’ though im nor sure id like to be a man im not 100% sure im a girl (im moving further from that). But like if there was like a magical thing i could drink do idk that would turn every inch into like robert smith between 1983-2004 id do it so quickly omg. 

And like it kinda hurts that i'm not idk (and ive never felt this for any girl celebrities)

And i kinda think they are also there those thoughts but some days theyre less i thinks thats just cus im distracting myself though i dont know i could be fluid. 

But i dont want to be any guy like the men in my family most of them are big i cant think of a better word then buffheads more so my dad but i could just not want to be like them i dont have a good relationship 

I dont think i HATE being a girl- i don't love it i like some parts but i dont think its things exclusive to girls say cause gender norms n stuff. 

I dont know if i have dysphoria because that fluctuates but im vision impaired so if i dont try and look at my body i forget some of it exists i really dont like my boobs or how clothes sit on my body think i like okay with having a cups (that i could easly hide if i wanted to  i dont but that cause also be cause by the pain they cause me.

My waist i like but only because that's the part of my body thats skinnest like my body was less shapely but that skinny id be elated.

But especially o the days i think abt it more but also all the time i do wish for more masc features eg adams apple more angular face bigger hands etc etc.Voices of weird one because my voice is in mezzo soprano range my speaking voice however in chest voice is kinda low  but I was self-conscious about it growing up because it made me stand out in different even though really it wasn't I think I just thought people were staring at me for no reason.  I think I only like my voice when I'm singing when I'm acting because I can imagine myself playing characters who aren't me but idk but if it was lower like high baritone or tenor id be like so fucking happy.

And like i Kind of want to try dressing differently but I can't because a I don't want my family to know certain pieces of clothing would be mens Not that they have a problem with it I'm assuming they could though but they probably just want to talk about it and I would not but also like  I remember one time I was at the shop called Factorie  and I wanted to get the Black Parade t-shirt but it was a mens shirt  and my god the amount of anxiety I had and the amount of people that I felt were staring at me I almost had a panic attack. 

And like I feel like if I ever did do anything about gender irl  I'd run away from everyone I know and cut of connections again not because I feel like they'd be bad about it but just I've built this thing around myself so long and I don't think I could even my queer friends like i dont know  my parents I'd feel like I'd be letting them down, and like 

But also so much for my childhood makes sense

Like when I was about 8 I got eczema for the first time and my first thought was ‘oh im turning into a boy… shit what am I gonna tell my parents’  which I don't even know why my brain made that jump but i hated my boobs sometimes more then others Once they got past a certain size,  when I had a pixie cut and a couple people in the street would mistake me for a boy felt exposed ‘like shh don't tell’ 

But I was also such a girly todder/ child  from like ages four Tube8 I would pride myself on being the girlest girl never wearing pants  because I kind of think it was trying to win that competition but I don't know         

I don't think anybody read this whole thing but if you did help me out or don't I don't care but I just needed to vent this 

m

[bklynmusicnerd]

I'm currently fighting a battle against going full "Bah Humbug" to this holiday season, but nevertheless we are going to get into these latest GH Petty Politics results!

This is going to be a long roundup because I did more polls than usual because I weirdly felt bad about how boring these last few weeks of GH have been.

Considering the present state of the show is actually pretty dire thanks to a deeply misguided EP, let's start off with what moratorium you all think GH needs more? The results were actually not close at all as 70.8% of you said:

Violet's random ass song aside, the consensus is clear. The majority are sick of 90% of the dialogue revolving around how the only thing that matters in this world is having babies. Imagine that 😒. To quote my mom, "The songs only last a couple of minutes, those babies take forever to disappear!"

29.2% of you, though, do think all the corny singing is becoming a problem. You signed up for a soap, not Glee.

And along those lines, when asked what you find edgier and more exciting during this holiday season, 84.2% of you said Hallmark Christmas movies officially have more buzz than anything happening on GH right now.

I don't watch Hallmark, so I have no way of verifying this. I made it an option cause I was feeling snarky after that terrible Friday ep, but I suspect this is the truth. From what I'm told, the heroines on those Hallmark movies do sometimes get to discuss things other than babies or when they'll have them, so that's something.

Onto the poll that surprisingly got the most buzz: What do you think of Curtis' ableist Christmas miracle paralysis reversal?

43.2% of you agreed that it is a lazy and offensive conclusion to a poorly done disability story, and that's because it is! Curtis' paralysis was played as a cheap ploy to get quick sympathy for him and in the process promoted the idea that all the lives of the disabled amount to is what they can't do.

Anyways, here's an article on why the "miracle cure" trope is offensive as shit and gross to write in 2023:

38.5% of you could give a shit about Curtis or his terrible storyline and just want to know where Trina's real father, Taggert is? A question that likely won't be answered until next year (but keep hope alive 🥲)

19.2% of you are in an optimistic mood and are open to this story at least having the upside of a potential testing fiasco which clears Trina of these Ashford charges once and for all (again...keep hope alive 🥲).

And a total of 0% of you are happy for Curtis to receive his miracle cure, and honestly...I've never felt prouder looking at a result. There's something really beautiful about us all coming together in the name of having no time for Curtis, I'm tearing up as I type this.

Moving onto the latest Kraze (😉) in GH pairings. I really wanted to know what you guys thought of Kristina and Blaze moving forward at the same time as this surrogacy plot that will not die.

50% of you said that you were too devastated by another pairing already being dragged down by the baby agenda, to put yourself in Blaze's shoes. As a Trina fan, believe me, I get it, and my heart goes out to you guys. The wlw delegation deserved better than this smh

29.2% of you said you would absolutely stay romantically interested in Kristina through her surrogacy story if you were Blaze. Which regardless of how realistic, is actually very sweet and probably exactly what GH will have Blaze do because baby agenda always wins out 😒.

20.8% of you said you'd probably have to dip if you were Blaze cause that's way too much way too soon and I have to say I'm inclined to agree with you guys. I can't imagine starting a relationship with someone who's about to carry a baby but I guess we're going to see what that looks like 🤷🏿‍♀️.

Speaking of "fuck them kids", a certain demon spawn was finally shown the door this week and I wanted your thoughts on Trina's status as a potential accidental homewrecker, and whether or not you gave a shit that Spencer's domestic era is over.

On the Trina homewrecking front:

47.8% of you said, yes, our girl technically qualifies as the cutest accidental homewrecker ever and you think she's a hero for demolishing the Jerry Springer household by simply choosing herself.

39.1% of you think Trina's homewrecking status is irrelevant because Laura's home was simply a training ground for the real home Spencer is already planning in his head with Trina.

And 13% of you, like my mom, think I play too much and that Trina is not a homewrecker and there's nothing funny about the suggestion! And to that I say: 😛

As for Spencer's domestic mourning period (🤢), I'm proud to report that the majority of you (57.9%) have no time for the fake sympathy for Spencer. You can be honest and admit that this story was bad, you're happy this form of it is over and you're hopeful that he can burn the diaper bags and return to dark princedom once again.

26.3% of you do feel bad for Spencer but uh, not enough to mourn this baby nonsense with him.

And 15.8% of you are actually going to miss Spencer the Manny. I can't really relate to such an emotion, but I admire the bravery of being open about your bad taste in storylines.

Setting crybaby Spencer to the side, let's talk about the real Cassadine youth doing real Cassadine things, Charlotte!

In true Cassadine form, Charlotte has the people divided. 34.8% of you agree with Valentin and are proud of Charlotte for her mess. But 34.8% of you also aren't sure about anything except that Anna should have slapped Valentin again (I agree). 30.4% of you are not down with Charlotte's shenanigans and think Valentin is nuts for being this passive.

The people are thoroughly split on Miss Charlotte Cassadine, which means she's doing wonderfully 😘.

Bringing crybaby Spencer back to the front again because it's time to discuss our favorite new pill popper on the canvas, Adam!

I really wanted to know if people were as into the Adam and Spencer friendship idea as @anyathefandom and I and I'm pleased to report the results are hilarious:

54.5% of you think we are nuts for trying to play friendship matchmaker with Spencer and a guy who's about to OD on pills and you know what, that's fair! Maybe our priorities seem a little odd as this kid tweaks about test scores! But we all know the powers of nepotism will save him from anything fatal, so I think some of you need to ease up on the judgment!

36.4% of you are here for the Spencer/Adam friendship idea. You're ready for Spencer to move on from Cali Cam and get a friend that's actually in the same town as him. You also recognize that it's either this or a forced Spencer and Dex friendship, and the lesser evil is pretty obvious here.

9.1% of you have no faith in Spencer's socialization skills and think it's a waste of time to hope he'll get a new friend. You think Spencer will never outgrow his "no new friends" phase, and you might just be right. Depressing but right.

And to save the funniest result for last. No, seriously, I saw this result and immediately lost it.

When asked what do you think will happen first, Adam OD'ing or Dex finally getting a real personality besides sex robot, 100% of you said Adam's inevitable OD is coming before Dex's personality. Because the only thing you guys have less faith in than Spencer's socialization skills, is Dex's character development.

I wanted to save that result for last because that's actually our first unanimous GH Petty Politics result and I love that it was as funny as it was disrespectful ❤️.

And so concludes another round of GH Petty Politics. Once again, you guys are hilarious and your participation is always appreciated!

[sparklepocalypse]

Fic Writer Interview

@energievie tagged me in this, and it looks like a fun way to pass the time... so while I'm waiting for it to be midnight so I can post my New Year's exchange fic -- here we gooo!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?  98 (as of January 1st, 2024. I'm counting tomorrow's fic today because by the time most people on my dash see it, it'll be next year. 😂)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?  396,868 words (as of midnight; 386,482 prior to midnight tonight).

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? They're all RWRB, sooooo:

What's Symbiotic Will Always Be [E, 2.6k words; 1.2k kudos]

Take it Down Low / Make Me Get High [E, 2.1k words; 1k kudos]

In the Low Lamp Light, I Was Free [E, 3.1k words; 798 kudos]

I'd Wanna Be Felled By You, Held By You [E, 2.3k words; 766 kudos]

On My Mind (Let's Go) [E, 10.7k words; 704 kudos]

More questions (there are 20 total!) and a blank version of them below the jump!

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I try to at least reply with an emoji if I can! But generally, I try to match the energy of the commenter. I really enjoy hearing from people about my work and want to make sure they know I appreciate them for taking the time to leave their feedback.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Oh jeeze, we'll have to harken back to pre-therapy Mags, well before 2023, for this question. (Current Mags has had a ton of therapy.) Probably I Stole Away and Cried [Supernatural RPF, M, 5.7k words]?

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? I am a lady who loves a happy ending. I'm going to nominate So I Will Weather the Storm [Red, White & Royal Blue, E, 9.8k words] for Happiest Ending in a Mags Fic.

7. Do you write crossovers? I used to write fics with elements of both Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel the Series, but I feel like that... doesn't really count. I also cross canons in the Red, White & Royal Blue fandom... but again it feels like it doesn't count.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? Absolutely. The early 2000s were a volatile time on the internets, as we fandom olds say.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? AHAHAHAHA wait, you're serious. Um... M/M, with a pocketful of kinks thrown in for flavor? My Kinktober 2023 [Red, White & Royal Blue, E, 92k words] series is a good place to get an idea of what sort of smut I write.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge, but I haven't been on Fanfiction.Net in approximately 15 years, and don't have a Wattpad account, so... who knows!

11. Have you ever had a fic translated? I don't believe so? But that might be fun.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Many moons ago, I used to co-write fic in the Glee fandom. I was one of the authors of the Kurtofsky IMs, for those of you who are in the know.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship? Don't do this to me, fic writer interview! Umm... probably either Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes or Jim Kirk/Spock. And no, I've never written anything for either of them. But I've read both voraciously.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? No comment. Because I don't wanna jinx it. Seriously. I haven't even started posting it because I don't want to jinx it.

15. What are your writing strengths? Smut, lol. Quirky, bantery dialogue. Making @hgejfmw-hgejhsf cry (complimentary, I think??).

16. What are your writing weaknesses? Finishing multichapter WIPs. 😐 Outlining -- I'm very much a "do what the characters want to do" sort of writer.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I'm generally down if I have a reputable source for any translation! I speak English and German fluently, but when it comes to Alex's Spanish in my RWRB fic, for example, I rely heavily on online lexicons and people who actually speak the language natively.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for? Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? Nope, not even thinking about other fandoms because I go where the dopamine goes, and I don't want to redirect the dopamine before I finish the fics on my Big Giant List.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? Written and published? Be Worthy Love, and Love Will Come [Red, White & Royal Blue, rated E, 30.8k words]. Written and not published? The Big Giant AU [Red, White & Royal Blue, rated E, wordcount still growing].

Want to play along? Blank version below!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

7. Do you write crossovers?

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

15. What are your writing strengths?

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

[whalleyrulz]

halloween 2023

21) LOOK AWAY

this was, i swear to god i'm not fucking with you, Dog, Shit. like, from a dog's ass. shit and poop, from a dog's ass, on movie. Doggggggg Shit

look away's about maria, a teenager whose father is a plastic surgeon, whose twin sister got post-partum aborted for being uggz, learning to hate herself so much that she swaps places with the mirror version of her, who has the name of airam, instead of the real human person's name what it should be, who turns out to be a tooootal

you guessed it

Actually Interesting Character, who doesn't fucking come out until you've been watching for 18 years. which, coincidentally, must be the age of the actress, because she looked maybe 12 but the director was TOTALLY allowed to film her Teen Titties multiple times

and in that way, there's the real horror of the film. no, folks, it's not creepy due to spooky ghouls or unstoppable moiderahs, but it's creepy in the "somebody involved in making this exictedly and unironically said the phrase tiny teen titties during production" way! oh, if you thought Implied Underage Nudity was fucked up, just wait! we got some Real Shit that paints a potential victim of sexual abuse as really just a fucked up girl who wanted it

because that's what airam does! everything that maria wanted! everything she did was what maria really deep down wanted, and we see evidence of this from maria dancing in the mirror with glee when airam breaks her bully's knee with a hockey stick. so for airam to, you guessed it, try and seduce her father multiple times, including getting out her whole vagina for This Movie, it must mean that that's what the protagonist, a girl who is implied to have been sexually abused, wanted it!

i did definitely despise this, but after the eighteen hours of waiting, there was genuinely about 15 minutes of a really fun movie of a teenage shithead manipulating her way through dickhead's lives and doing no wrong. unfortunately that stopped being fun and the movie became like

you know when you go outside, and there's like, a dog? and the dog needs to do a big shit, and then you watch, and you watch the shit slide out of the dog's ass, and if it's cold enough, you full on see that shit steam, from the super fresh dog shit ass?

it was like that. a+ experience wouldn't watch or inflict on anyone again

1. skinamarink | 2. smile | 3. the black phone | 4. talk to me | 5. m3gan | 6. significant other | 7. cobweb | 8. horror in the high desert | 9. the pope's exorcist | 10. knock at the cabin | 11. infinity pool | 12. becky | 13. no one will save you | 14. huesera: the bone woman | 15. scream vi | 16. idle hands | 17. a wounded fawn | 18. v/h/s 85 | 19. evil dead rise | 20. mama

[wowbright]

Fic: Recommend

Fandom/pairing: Glee, Kurt/Blaine

Event: December Klaine Fanworks Challenge 2023

Words: ~1500 words                                         

Rating: Teen and up

Summary: Although Kurt's faith has changed, he still manages to get his temple recommend renewed.

Notes: This is part of my Mormon!Klaine universe. It takes place after Out of Eden, which I am still in the process of posting to AO3. It’s among the possibilities for their future. Mormonsplaining and mild warnings in tags.

* * *

Kurt and his parents had always planned for him to do Finn's temple work when he got back from his mission. It had seemed the right thing at the time, a fitting way to honor the two young men’s brotherhood and make it even more real.

They hadn't seen its one glaring flaw: they were all assuming Kurt would return from Germany with the same faith he'd taken with him when he’d left.

“I'm not sure I'm going to be able to get my temple recommend renewed when I get back,” Elder St. James said to Kurt on their Lufthansa flight to New York. He was on his third Milka mini chocolate bar snatched from the candy buffet near the bathrooms on the lower deck, and Kurt was on his fourth.

“Why?” Kurt said. “Gluttony’s not against the Word of Wisdom. Besides, if chocolate and cookies are all they're going to offer us between meals and we're growing young men, we kind of have no choice. Besides, that breakfast was hardly a breakfast.”

“European breakfasts never are,” agreed Elder St. James. “But it's not the Word of Wisdom I'm concerned about. It's that question about sustaining all the leaders. I'm not sure I can answer ‘yes’ to that in good conscience. I mean, I voted to sustain them at the last general conference, but since my vote doesn’t actually mean anything since they just ignore the abstentions and opposition votes, am I actually sustaining them?”

“You pray for them, don't you?”

“Of course.”

“Well, I think that's what sustaining means—offering sustenance. With a child, that would mean giving them food and clothing and shelter and support and love. The leaders don't need those first three things from us, but they do need our support and love. And we show that by respecting them and praying for them.”

“Huh.” Elder St. James opened a fourth chocolate bar and took a thoughtful bite. “I suppose that works. I mean, it's not my fault that I can't actually sustain them in the vote sense, and the temple questions are supposed to be about things that are within our own control, so … Thanks, Elder Hummel. That helps.”

Kurt unwrapped his fifth chocolate. But before he could break off a piece, he started wondering if he was eating his feelings, trying not to think about what was actually happening, how he was currently vaulting through the sky at hundreds of miles an hour, every second pulling him farther and farther away from Blaine and closer to a future that he couldn't envision. Hmmm. Maybe he should eat his feelings. It was better than thinking about that. Besides, he felt nowhere near full.

“Do you have any worries?” Elder St. James said.

Kurt had so many worries, he didn't know where to start. Maybe he could mention how he didn't actually understand how planes stayed in the air and it was rather disconcerting to be hovering over the Arctic when he could easily imagine the plane just dropping out of the sky and plunging them into the icy water to their untimely deaths, and while he didn't fear for his own salvation, he did rather like this life they were currently living and also, it would be terrible for his parents to lose two sons in so many years. But before Kurt could think about whether this was an appropriate response, Elder St. James clarified, “About your temple recommend questions?”

Kurt gave his one-time companion a sharp look. “What's that supposed to mean?” The recommend questions included one about the law of chastity, and while Kurt knew he had done nothing wrong, it would be better if rumors didn’t spread. Blaine was still inside the mission.

“Nothing in particular.” The vacant look behind elder St. James's eyes seemed to confirm his sincerity. “I mean, you’re such a Peter Priesthood I figured you wouldn't have trouble with any of them. But maybe I was hoping, just a little, that you were in the same boat as me.”

“What boat is that?” Kurt asked.

Elder St. James popped the rest of his chocolate bar into his mouth and chewed it slowly. He didn't speak again until he had swallowed it all. “I don't know. Not as excited about all this church stuff as I was when we were on the plane out here? I mean, I don't even know if I want to go to the temple again.”

"Well, the temple is –" Kurt looked over your shoulder to make sure no one was listening. He had, perhaps, become a little too used to speaking about the temple freely with Blaine. “–it's a lot different from every day worship. And the sessions are long. But I want to go back. I have work to do for my stepbrother.”

The necessity of that work, Kurt’s obligation to his family—they had nagged at Kurt as he’d weighed the risks of becoming physically intimate with Blaine. It had felt like another unfairness imposed on him by the church, forced to choose between loyalty to the family he came from and commitment to the family he was discovering in Blaine.

But as time passed and Kurt got closer to leaving Germany, denying the gift Blaine was offering him had begun to feel like a sin bigger than any lie Kurt might tell the bishop. And he had discovered just how true that was when they finally slept together: being intimate with Blaine, Kurt had felt for the first time what it must have been like to be one of those legendary first humans, before sin and pain existed, when they felt no shame in their nakedness or the bodies that had been gifted them. Their love was sinless because it grew from that same place without sin.

So it was with a clean conscience, upon returning to Ohio, that Kurt answered yes to his bishop’s question of Do you obey the law of chastity? Kurt’s actions with Blaine had been authentically chaste—reserved for one’s spouse, pure in conduct and intention, free of coercion, seeing the full humanity of the other person and loving them for it. Blaine was his other half in the truest sense, regardless of whether the church or the law recognized it.

Nor did Kurt have any qualms about professing his testimony in God the creator or in Jesus Christ or the restoration of the gospel—his faith in these things was even deeper than before he left on his mission, though in a way he would never have expected.

Even Do you support, affiliate with, or agree with any group or individual whose teachings or practices are contrary to or oppose those accepted by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? was easy to answer the right way, because the only teachings “accepted by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints” were those that had come before the general conference for a vote of common consent. The Proclamation on the Family wasn't one of those things. And besides, he was pretty sure the question was mainly meant to root out polygamists.

Do you keep the covenants that you made in the temple? and Do you strive to keep the covenants you have made, to attend your sacrament and other meetings, and to keep your life in harmony with the laws and commandments of the gospel? were harder. Kurt wasn't even sure he remembered all the covenants he had made in the temple. But the ones he remembered, and the ones he had honestly agreed to, with full understanding—he strove to keep those. As for keeping his life in harmony with the laws and commandments of the gospel, he was more committed to doing that than he’d ever been, even if his understanding of “the gospel” was probably different than his bishop’s.

“Have there been any sins or misdeeds in your life that should have been resolved with priesthood authorities but have not been?” the bishop asked.

“No,” Kurt answered.

“And finally,” the bishop said, “do you consider yourself worthy to enter the Lord’s house and participate in temple ordinances?”

No more or less than any other of God’s children, Kurt thought to say, but he knew it wasn't the answer the bishop was looking for and would only confuse him. “Yes,” Kurt said.

The bishop signed the recommend and sent Kurt on his way with a smile and a handshake and, “Now, don’t spend all your time at the temple. Your first priority now that you've gotten back from your mission is to find a wife.”

“Thanks for the advice," said Kurt, trying to accept it in the same well-meaning spirit it was given.

Then it was rinse and repeat with the stake president, and Kurt had his recommend. Alone in the car, he turned the card over in his hand, staring at the movement of light over its barcode and lettering. “Finn,” he said, “I hope you’re ready for this.”

[graha-stan-account]

Fulsome: Day 22

Fulsome: Adj. 1. complimentary or flattering to an excessive degree. 

of large size or quantity; generous or abundant. 

Ancient. Emet-Selch has rebuffed any attempts to kindle affections between himself and Azem. However, it is becoming slowly apparent the tides are turning. Oh and there's cookies. A lot of cookies. 

FFXIVWrite 2023 Masterlist

--- 

Emet-Selch returned to his shared flat in early evening, the afternoon sun dripping like egg yolk down the facades of the nearby towers. The faint sound of crunching carried from the next room. Inside, Hythlodaeus was savoring something golden and rounded, crinkly and decidedly crunchy. 

"And what do you have there?"

"Some manner of biscuit. They're delightful! Upon the table there." He gestured vaguely toward the window from his spot, reclined on the settee. "Try one, try one, Hades."

Emet-Selch followed his hand and found on the sun-splashed side table an unfurled bundle of sweets, ringed by a colorfully patterned linen cloth. He had smelled the sweet honey flavor, smiled privately at the banded colors of their wrapping. And he had left them upon that very table, to enjoy away from his partner's prying eyes and Azem's smug mouth. 

"How many have you eaten!" Emet-Selch rushed over and folded the bundle shut. 

"Just a few.... dozen. The flavor... I  can't quite place it." 

"It's honey," he said aggravation acting as an underline in each sentence. "From the far reaches. The pollinating insects there feast most readily on a rare type of heather. As such, it may only be harvested for several weeks of the year. And it's currently out of season." He turned to Hythlodaeus, who swallowed with a bit of difficulty at the stare leveled at him. 

"Oh no." Hythlodaeus sat up suddenly, crumbs all about the front of his robes. "Tell me these are not Astrea's gift to you?" 

"It's... fine." Emet-Selch gripped the spare cloth on the bundle tighter. He sighed, his brow lifting, a resigned smile crawling across his face. "Quite good, are they...?"

"They're unlike anything I've tasted before." Hythlodaeus studied him a moment. "What's more, I'm," he chuckled, "taken by surprise that you not only now listen, but have retained her expositions. Forgive my skepticism you would ever accept a token of her affection." 

"Affection...?" 

--- 

"Why are you giving me this?" 

"You prefer these, don’t you?" There was hesitancy in her voice. 

"Yes... However," Emet-Selch followed Azem with his eyes. "I have the creeping feeling you're after something." 

Azem gave him a confused look. "I've been gone for several moons. What could I possibly be scheming?" She paused, then lunged for his hands. "If you're of the mind to refuse my gift--" 

Emet-Selch pulled away, face hot. "No, no. These will do." 

When she had taken her leave, Emet-Selch looked down at the wrapped confections. He admired the woven cloth, its colors likely auspicious in the tradition of whichever tribe had crafted the design. He breathed deeply the scent of honey and wheat, distinctly represented, emanating from within. The wheat was ground by stone, like as not, and coarse. Nutty, hearty and satisfying. 

And the honey. He knew it by scent alone. A honey he had tasted only once before. On a hillside. Upon the tip of a proffered finger. By starlight and under a curtain of indigo. 

And in the cover of dark he had let his heart be revealed. 

--- 

It seemed now as a dream. It was but a mundane errand for which she summoned him, but in her company the simplest things seemed overtaken as though by an intoxicating perfume. It took weeks to finally clear his head of its influence. 

So he thought. 

Hythlodaeus was kicking his feet with glee, crumbs flying about. 

[jellyfish-vents]

Please Happily Ignore This.

[just an internet girl ranting about her unrequited love story]

When I decided to start this blog, I wanted to make it my personal blog, a safespace.

With all these new followers, guys I don't know what you expect, but I don't know anyone of you, and I would like this to still be my personal blog. And I am so overwhelmed right now I can't go anywhere else.

This girl, that I have been absolutely in love with, just told me that she's in love with another girl, and it's reciprocated.

I am just absolutely torn because, well, You Know Why.

She called me and I couldn't stop giggling because I just am that much in glee to just talk to her. It was literally an hour ago. And she brought it up with me because she felt obliged to do it and because she said I am the easiest person to talk about it.

I could hear my heart shatter. But I didn't let her know. At all. I hid it well. I am proud of it.

I was the one who helped her talk about her sexuality, being a demi-sapio sexual myself. I helped her discover all the beauty of loving someone, whoever you love. We talked about the hardships, the bullying in school, the fear of attachment, everything. But we also talked about how divine it would be to just let us fall for the beauty of it all without considering the societal standards. And the whole reason I could say all that to her was, because I could see all that beauty in her while I fell for her.

I planned dates with her, I thought of all the movies I wanna watch with her, all he songs I wanna share, all the places I wanna be with her at, all the things I wanna do, everything. It all happened in my head. I even thought of how I would confess my feelings to her, and how I would propose her if she reciprocated and was okay with it. All this before our mutual friend broke the news to me that she is going away for her post graduation.

I crumbled that day. All I remember is crying and texting her about it and telling her how glad I am for her, up until my hands were too shaky to hold the phone and my eyes too teary to read the texts. I cried, sobbed, I mourned.

I almost thought of confessing it to her, "She ought to know" I thought. Because we shared a great chemistry. It was so organic, I bet she felt it too. But I didn't. I didn't wanna hand her another baggage to take with her, all the while she was already freaking out about moving away. I decided not to say a word. And I was happy for her.

We shared a movie evening one day. It didn't feel like it was enough. All I wanted was to cup her face and look into her eyes, and just bask in her presence. But then she left. I hope she felt my love, even if she saw it as a friend.

And today she told me about her intense feelings. About how she's scared, and excited, but scared mostly because she doesn't wanna mess up, and because it's just all that new to her, homosexuality. I could hear the hesitation in her voice, but also the truth. She indeed is in love.

We talked about it for a while, about the complications of it all. I listened to it all like a good friend and said a few helpful words that I know she counted on.

We said goodnight, I cut the call, and broke down.

It's not that I'm jealous, or anything.

Infact, I told her I'm happy for her, and I mean it by every bone in my body.

I am very happy for her.

But.

I am just sad for myself.

There's just sadness there.

September 18th 2023, 3:52am

[measuringbliss]

Here we go, Glee Rewatch! 1x01 time, baby

Hii, welcome to the 2022-2023-2024-maybe-2025-dear-Lord weekly Glee rewatch! Whether you've been waiting for weeks for this, or whether you just saw this post randomly, feel free to participate! Are you a newbie, or have you seen the show dozens of times? You're welcome too! Do you want to skip an episode (or entire seasons!), do you want to write 10 words summarizing your thoughts or do you want to write intricate meta? Feel free to do whatever you want! Just don't harass anyone. You can complain about stuff or criticize it, but let's try to stay respectful towards each other, alright?

I'm writing this post on September 7, in 2022. I don't know when I'll set it for, but I'd like to have maybe a whole season (or more!) done before starting uploading those posts. My posts will be linked in the masterpost pinned on my tumblr.

Note: The first episode has two versions, the normal one and the Director's Cut. I watch the show on Disney+ and it appears that it's a mix between both versions, given that I don't recognize some of the scenes but do recognize some of the others mentioned here.

Second note: Today is October 1st, 2022. I finished the first season yesterday, and will schedule this post for tomorrow. Let's do one episode a week at first, alright? That way I'm not too stressed about it. We'll see if the schedule changes once Jenna and Kevin's new podcast comes around. Here's the Glee Rewatch Masterpost, by the way.

Glee's Pilot episode is incredibly effective, introducing many characters and plotlines very efficiently. Right at the start, I noticed something about the clothes the characters wear when the football team puts Kurt in the trash bin. Obviously Kurt has his expensive outfit, and obviously most (let's ignore the second guy to the right) players have the red jacket of their team. But Finn, whose role is key in the show, wears a grey sweatshirt (that looks very comfy!) and a white shirt underneath. It already sets him apart from the rest of the team (especially coupled with his semi-intervention). You could even argue the grey is there to show Finn's conflicted feelings on his team's harassment. Why is there "55" marked on his sweat? Well, we see later that Finn's number is 5, but is it also there to convey the 50/50ness of his mindset? Not only that, but Finn is supposed to be average. Well the show paints him as more clueless than most other characters, but I was pretty clueless at his age too (...I still am). But he's not supposed to be this hot bombshell of a stud (even though Cory Monteith was absolutely this).

Damn that sweat looks comfy. And later on in the locker room, Finn is still in grey (and red). He's not the only one, but still. I know that his color is blue but grey... it's quite close, isn't it?

And after Finn meets Rachel, who's infatuated with him, Finn wears blue! Is she giving him life? Blue is a color of melancholy, of sadness. Does Finn unconsciously realize that his relationship with Quinn doesn't bring him happiness? Or is it that it can't make him happy ever since Rachel entered his life?

The red shirts symbolize the football team while his jean jacket symbolizes the Glee Club, his relationship with Rachel and his true self. He's still thinking about the club he'll pick if he has to choose, but subconsciously he's already decided.

However, later, after being slushied by his teammates, when Finn says to Rachel that he's leaving the Glee Club because of his reputation, he wears red again. And at the end, when he's back with the Glee Club, every member wears red. They reappropriated the color. Red is the color of passion, so it fits, right?

The score sung a capella is absolutely wonderful and I'm sad that it disappears after a few seasons. It's very charming and perfect for the show.

Emma is... oddly upfront with her contempt for Sue. She seems much more confrontation-averse in later episodes. I do appreciate, however, how her actress's doing her absolute best to seem unnerving but in a funny way.

Also wow this episode is grainy. Was it filmed on film and later episodes on digital?

I really love the auditions, very effective at introducing characters and giving them some credibility. I'm very fond of Kurt in this scene, where he knows how good he is at singing and flicks his hair (which is something Cory touchingly imitated when the cast rewatched the episode). This is hilarious! This is wonderfully acted! And I wish Kurt had stayed that way. At one point in S5, Kurt had an episode where he had a few outraged facial reactions and it reminded me of early Kurt. I feel like he became boring after a few seasons, but the base material was incredible.

Tina's gothic style is great. Obviously, her pendant symbolizes her secret (she fakes her stutter). I've seen a few people suggest that Tina was intended to love girls at first and the song choice ("I Kissed a Girl") certainly... could imply that.

Rachel's introduction is perfect. The comedic timing of the gold star and sudden slushie is incredible. I love Rachel, honestly. Also love her two dads who mysteriously transformed without Rachel acknowledging it even once.

I think people should have stopped complaining about Glee lacking realism in later seasons when the first episode had Figgins say that the Anonymous Alcoholics use McKinley High's gymnasium. The show was bonkers from the start.

Stephen Tobolowsky is too good at playing Sandy. He's too good! I didn't like him very much in One Day At A Time and I'm not sure I like him in Glee either. Maybe I have something against him. I'm sorry, Stephen!

This, right here? It's genius! I feel like those kinds of things never really happened after the pilot, but Will blackmailing Finn in front of this pamphlet is comedy gold. It's incredible!

Finn's voice is interesting, I don't think I often hear that kind of voice. It's sort of... raw, unmastered, isn't it? His performance later in Don't Stop Believin' is quite more standard than his other numbers in the episode.

I love how Rachel immediately knows when she hears him. She knows they're destiny. She's knows he's the one, the one for the Glee Club and the one for her. And I love how mythical their romance seems at times (notably in this episode). It's beautiful. I'm into it! And the whole You're The One That I Want number is great, from Rachel's instant interest, to her dramatically putting her hands on Kurt's face and Tina's boobs, to her pushing poor Artie and Will catching him, to Mercedes having enough of them, it's just a wonderful scene.

The puzzle is of American Gothic, painted by Grant Wood. I was vaguely familiar with this painting before. So Will's on the right, and there's a hole on the man's throat/chest. You know, some stuff you use to sing. And Terri's on the left, and there's a hole in the woman's right eye. The woman is watching her father (though they could be mistaken as a couple), just as Terri will watch Will to try and make sure that he doesn't make too many bad choices like, let's say, leaving her. They both seem austere (they're most probably religious), and Terri's trying to get them to have a more orderly life; she wants a baby (traditional) and sees Will taking over the Glee Club as frivolous (untraditional) and pretty much as a danger for their relationship. It is a bit ironic that this painting was chosen, considering that Terri acts more like a mother than a daughter to Will's nostalgic self. Notably, Terri puts a puzzle piece in a hole in the man, showing she wants to stay in control of the situation. Also, the most important bit to analyze is the fork having three spikes (or whatever you call them in English), it's a metaphor for the fact that three seasons later the infamous newbies arrive and the show loses its luster (OR DOES IT???? see you in a bit more than a year!).

Also, we have to mention the obvious parallel that runs throughout the season (and show). Terri says she was a cheerleader. And Will's a teacher. Do you know who else becomes a teacher in S4? Finn. Do you know who's in a relationship with Finn and is a cheerleader? Quinn!!! DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENS BETWEEN QUINN AND FINN? THEY BREAK UP. And Rachel comes in-between them because she's into Finn before he considers her a romantic prospect. Exactly like Emma and Will! And Ken is infatuated with Emma just as, like, various guys (most prominently Puck in early seasons) with Rachel.

Quinn's first scene with Finn is legendary. I don't know what the crew's intention was, and Dianna's facial expression is so ambiguous that it's hard to say with certitude what's going through her mind. You could see her as a temptress just as you could see her as genuinely uncomfortable.

Saying they should pray as soon as Finn gets into snogging her, right under a portrait of Jesus, it's quite funny. Quinn's writing is... incoherent at best so I bet there's a million way you can interpret this scene (maybe she wants to tease Finn for the hell of it, or maybe she really wants things to calm down).

I bet someone could write something about Emma's outfits throughout the episode. Purple tartan? Intriguing. Does it show her (semi-conscious) intent to be a homewrecker? (Note from just before scheduling this post: I don't know what's the logical link there, is it about how purple's a mix of blue (realistic goal) and red (passion)?)

The Vocal Adrenaline performance is good obviously, and I love the outfits.

Terri: announces she's pregnant while holding champaigne glasses. Classic Terri!

I love Rachel's wardrobe.

How can you not be into Finchel after watching this episode? They're stars shining brightly in the sky.

Anyway, see you next week! For now, let's stay on a weekly schedule. I'll also check out the concert movie between seasons 2 & 3. But we're not there yet!