#it's a process sometimes
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#i’ve been thinking abt that cringe post#i think the latent feelings behind ‘cringe’ are shame and sometimes envy/bitterness#same vibes as when six year olds say ‘those toys are for babies’ if they’ve been shamed for their age by older kids#anyway. i think part of the healing process is realizing that shame puts you at war with yourself bc part of yourself is a social being!#and that part of you wants community and acceptance (maybe love). shame is the absence of acceptance#unlearning shame means learning self-love and gaining the confidence to find your people#jerma#cw jerma#(someone asked me to tag lol)
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Long ass post with, AGAIN, a comic from the newest chapter of @yunuen 's "The line is covered in jellyfish" featuring: mushroomed Viktor and Jayce being fucking BOLD, incredible, love to see.
Bonus: Viktor after suggesting acid as a way to remove the fingerprints.
#my art#jayvik#the line is covered in jellyfish#viktor#jayce talis#okay I swear I will stop now#I needed to draw Mushroomed Viktor#so I drew this rapidly and roughly#the lines are fucking messy but that s my process and sometimes I like better the raw lines than the polished ones#also I was not in the mood for coloring and when i started b&w then I decided to make Jayce's eyes YELLOW like the “It's viktor scene”#these guys completely enamoured of their partener's eyes kinda vibe. bothe of them
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This isn't even a hot take, but Percabeth weren't smart x dumb. They weren't even book smart x street smart. They were strategic x strategic. Their minds worked in very similar ways that complimented eachother. It's why they were such great friends, it's why they were a formidable team, hell, it's why they could fight a war against a deity with an army of forty fricking kids and win. They shared their braincells, in the most beautiful sense of the phrase and THAT'S why, for me, they're perfect together.
#percabeth#absolutely hate when people act like they didn't have basically the same thought process most of the time#like yeah sometimes they had different areas of expertise#but ultimately they were both wired for strategy#anyway#percy jackson#annabeth chase#pjo
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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
#m/cc#mine#I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges#and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like#a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with#there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example#or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone#*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have#I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side#for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others#for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me#and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public#and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist#that's why there's so much awareness happening for it#but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people
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getting real fed up with my peers treating teenagers like shit. how did you forget so fucking quickly what it's like to be them. shame on you.
#this is about people my age getting into internet discourse with teenagers#and calling them stupid and overall belittling them and being a jerk to them#like. literally just block them if they are being a shithead#teenagers are shitheads sometimes#youre not going to change them#they need to grow up on their own#and an adult making fun of them isnt going to help#in fact it is going to hinder the process#if you want to try to help you need to be kind#if theyre not receptive to that and are still being an asshole then it is not worth it#and you need to go do something else with your time#you are a fucking adult
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Why self-diagnosed autistics are valid

medical diagnosis can be expensive
humans are the experts on their own minds
family may prevent assessment
diagnosis criteria is a poor checklist of stereotypes
diagnosis criteria ignores gender, race, sexuality, culture & more
medical diagnosis confirms autism, but doesn't create it
discrimination within the medical profession may prevent diagnosis.
Assessment waiting lists often long
medical trauma may make assessment unfeasible
Neurodiverse Journeys
#self diagnosis#why it’s valid#I find it perfectly acceptable with doing the correct research#the diagnosis process can be complicated and sometimes not a very pleasant experience#i honestly think I had ADHD too but I have no idea if I am#actually autistic#self diagnosed adhd#neurodivergence#neurodiversity#actually neurodivergent#feel free to share/reblog#Neurodiverse Journeys (Facebook)#autism awareness month#autism acceptence month
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sure i find you in my hair and under my pillow and in the car. but i know in my heart you are picking me out of your teeth. i know i am burning through your sundays, sticking to your ceiling.
i hope i'm in every bitter cup of coffee and every candle wick and every bath. i hope my shadow flickers under your door so the empty hallway i have left behind is a swift dart of nothing more. i hope you find me in notebooks and stop signs and fleetwood mac - like i am marginalia on your life, i want my fingerprints burned into your days like acid.
i loved you, and you know i loved you, and for the rest of your life i will be the person you broke. for the rest of your life i hope the shame of that runs like a cattle dog, bites at your heels. i hope every time your cup is full or the moon is a toenail or a cat is purring or a laugh is in your belly or the sky turns pink while the sun is setting - i hope you remember that someone loved you, and you crushed them in your palms. you extinguished every future i lit. i hope that haunts you.
i hope you never fucking forget it.
#warm up#this is pretty negative idk it's more a creative writing thing#bc im kinda like.#i have mostly kept my mouth shut about stuff but isn't it nice to go apeshit once in a while#i only feel this like 30%#bc im like. well this is a pretty negative way of processing#but it is a step of processing#and sometimes we gotta be like. u ever just want that person to BURN#(good news for those in the BURN stage: it's almost done. ur almost out.)
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theseus' guide chapter 8 spoilers !!!
an overly dramatic visualization of the chapter finale that i got way too ambitious with enjoy
#if this doesn't follow the exact description of what's happening it's because i can't read </3#fr tho just tried to make it match the music as best as i could#and maybe.. sometimes i visualise stuff without actually processing whats written down... who knows#also i am doing so great after all of that yep so normal. normal human behavior#gf theseus' guide#gravity falls#stanford pines#bill cipher#billford#fanart#art#digital art#animatic#artists on tumblr#hummise art
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timelapse of my latest piece (irl time approx. 4 hours)
#my art#gravity falls#billford#maybe i should revive my twitch account and stream art again sometime……#(just hate how strict twitch is with music#esp since music is such a big part of my drawing process lmao)
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Here are some Season 2 Arcane GIF comparisons before and after I color and sharpen them! | Season 1 Comparison GIFs
#arcane#arcaneedit#gifmaking#reminder that if ur not a fan of the coloring and sharpening then i dont need to hear ur opinion so fuck off and make your own gifs :)#sooo yeah!!! just sharing this very old coloring comparison i use from time to time to make sure i follow a certain peg for my gifs#but i dont really follow it to the T of course#and now i will use the tags to rant/comment about my coloring process lmao#ok so.... arcane s2 is SOOOOO much brighter than s1 i am so so so thankful we have such bright scenes instead of all the dark ones in s1#because it makes my life so much easier#that being said my coloring isnt really perfect i still cant handle more complex tones like the mel gif......#i used to have a more stylized coloring wayyy back in s1 (esp when u look at my old gifs) but i kinda realized i had to change it#so i scrapped all my old psds and now coloredit EVERYTHING MANUALLY#hence why sometimes i gif the same scene but theyre colored different since i never use a preset PSD now#however it became way more tedious to make gifs... so yeah.... lmao#but in the end i like it more!!! i like that my new coloring just basically matches the show more but is just brighter and more saturated#unless ofc i dont like the tones of the original show i.e. the vi gif you see there where its super green gray???? idk i dont like it so#i recolored the entire thing#anyways thats really it coloring will always be something i continue to try to improve on but recently ive just been v busy so i just#speed color and edit everything and dont rlly take all adjustments into account so no more complex tones and#i just stick to basic things#oh right sharpening! so for sharpening i use a very basic setting: just 500 px and 0.4 radius which is what i use for almost everything#i also dont add noise bc the landscape photographer in me does NOT like it LMFAOOOOOOOOOO#but yeah thats really it for sharpening oh i also use 4k sources as much as possible bc it gives the best quality and if#i cant find any source i just upscale everything by myself then crop stuff again back to 540 px and imo it really just does look better#personal tag
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cw: body horror

parasite
#i think of the being living in Damsel as just an amalgamation of eyes and teeth#it’s dormant most of the time but it keeps her alive#only really comes out when it’s like “ah fuck my fleshbag isn’t breathing again#also technically speaking it COULD talk to Damsel. it just doesn’t.#no nippies cause i don’t wanna censor rn 🫶🏼#dol pc#i didn’t do either tf cause they both have it and i didn’t wanna do two separate versions LMAO#it is Starlet that I drew to be clear. i just tagged both cause they’ve got the same…situation going on#damsel draws sometimes#cw body horror#anyways don't ask me NOTHIN about the process of this idk either#damsel evren
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you know what i think Mirabelle deserves to get a little fucked up freaky in how she processes learning about Siffrin’s loops post-canon. for fun. as a treat
thinking about this line in particular and stretching out the implications like taffy

this is a more romanticized, cutesy facet of her interests but she’s still framing Siffrin’s situation through storytelling. so like. What If.
i mean. this woman loves horror and gore and monsters and horrible things happening to innocent people. IN FICTION. in fiction!!! obviously!!!! and it’s beyond terrible that something even remotely close to any of that happened to her real friend in real life!!
BUT.
maybe. maybe sometimes, if the conditions are right, she gets a little too wrapped up in her imagination about the bloody, awful poetry of it all. maybe Siffrin tells a joke that's a little too dark and gory for anyone else, borderline or full-on Concerning, but she latches onto it without thinking about the Implications and plays along with increasing gruesomeness because FINALLYYYYY someone will play with her in the Horror Space (like Isabeau does in the romance space!!) and then. OOPS. the implications!!!! and she has to recalibrate out of Fun With Fiction mode into Oh No, My Friend Underwent A Horrifying Ordeal mode.
but being able to joke about things, even the awful things, is...kind of comforting, to Siffrin. makes them feel less like they're being babied and pitied and more like what happened was something...normal, almost? something that doesn't have to feel like the end of the world all over again every time it's mentioned, at least. so he tries to reassure her, and Odile and Isabeau have to go “actually can you PLEASE not joke about dying horribly it’s freaking us out and also might not be the Best for you? mentally???”
maybe Mirabelle will get a little Too Into trying to weave meaning and symbolism into the scant details that Siffrin gradually reveals, like she’s trying to finish the orange poem all over again, or eagerly meddling with the romantic reunion of the two actual people in the House with undelivered bonding earrings, writing their story for them without their input.
it’s easier to justify the tragedy of it all when it has a purpose, isn’t it? finding the beauty in the darkness, the love powerful enough to end the world. romanticizing the horrors until her friend can talk about them without shutting down.
and she feels guilty about hearing something and immediately thinking “ohhhhhhh this is JUST like Blorbo From My Novels,” because she should treat Siffrin’s situation with the gravity and care he deserves!! they’re a real person, not a character who exists for entertainment, to represent the ~themes~ of some story.
but if she admits as much…maybe Siffrin is safe to admit that he had started seeing the rest of them as actors, endlessly reciting their lines. maybe that’s just how people process things sometimes, grasping for metaphors when unfiltered reality gets to be too much. maybe it’s okay to talk about that part of it all, too.
#mypost#isat spoilers#is this. is this anything.#much more nervous about this mira post because the basis for it is. tenuous maybe. have not seen something approaching this take Anywhere#thinking about the healer stereotype of being soft and warm and loving#but in reality 'healers' being exposed to the brutal bloody truth of human fragility and anatomy#she's a fighter. she's a healer. she reads the most fucked up gore you can imagine#she's anxious to the point of trembling like a chiuahua sometimes but dammit she WILL stand her ground when it counts#and MAYBE her first avenue of processing the horrors of reality is to revel in the horrors of fiction!#is this a good/healthy approach for her OR siffrin? mmmmmmmaybe not!#but like. idk. i feel like people write Mirabelle as less capable of handling the messiest parts of Siffrin’s recovery#on account of her anxiety. and i get that liking gore in fiction is VERY MUCH not the same as being chill & level headed about it#when faced with the real thing in the context of someone you care about#odile is logical and level headed. isabeau is a pillar of comfort and has defender training. i get why they’re the go-to’s#so! fair enough! but she IS also a fighter and a healer#who is absolutely resolute when something matters to her#i wanna give her more credit for her ability to step up in messy situations#and also. for fun. make her a little Weird about it too.#isat#isat thoughts#mirasif qpr#isat mirabelle#isat siffrin#in stars and time#in stars and time spoilers#bonnie not mentioned in the gory joke scenario bc i believe siffrin would have the restraint to not do that when they’re around#but not be QUITE as conscious about what’s gonna fly with the adults
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isat is praised a lot for its ludonarrative harmony and how the player's feelings are synchronised with siffrin's, but something i don't see mentioned much is how it also works the other way around -- the player trying to get certain dialogues/interactions (the player's influence on siffrin's actions), even if they go against siffrin's wants at the moment, are all justified in game.
for example, if the player continuously attempts to use siffrin's dagger on their allies, siffrin is having intrusive thoughts. and if the player repeatedly tries to go into the bathroom in act 5, siffrin secretly really wanted to monologue because he's a little obsessed with them lol
#isat spoilers#in stars and time#isat#siffrin isat#my ramblings#it reminds me a little of the player's influence in deltarune and how the concept is handled in opposite directions#in deltarune the player is explicitly a separate being from kris & the player can sometimes control kris's actions against their will#while in isat the player IS siffrin. there's no separation; the player's actions/impulses are justified through siffrin's thought processes
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I’m really looking forward to carving this one 😁
#sketch#animal death#skeletons#deer skull#deer#despite everything#it’s still you#might shift the skeletal deer up a bit#we’ll see#I love me a super complex design#I always look forward to carving (except words sometimes)#but these ones always come with a lot of decisions during the carving process#which I really enjoy#it’s very soothing to carve anything#but especially textures like fur#meditative
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hence nothing remains except for our regrets
sometimes you just gotta smash your interests together like playdough!!! here's the Great God Grove gods in OFF's style!
shoutout to @weirdalchemy for the sketch of Huzzle Mug's pose and a ton of help in working out the other ones!
the full-sized + unsprited sketches / some assorted rambling under the cut!
link to the bizzyboys!
turning them into little 200px max sprites lost some of the detail i really enjoyed on some of them (thespius basically lost all of his hair flowers, and bauhauzzo lost a few nice rock-chipping details i was super fond of u_u), so i figured i'd include my sketches also!
a few extra design notes from while i was trying to figure everything out
i wanted to keep Miss Mitternacht really simple, and tried to lean into the early-game boss sort of look! (i was also trying to remember how to get the sketchy-pencil texture to translate into the smaller versions, oops)
Cobigail and Inspekta were the first ones i thought of when i decided to make all of them! Cobigail's jumpscare face was an instant pick, even if i lost all of those extra little lines in the spriting process
drawing typewriters is a nightmare. people who draw Click Clack all the time at his typewriter are stronger than i could possibly imagine
i got stuck on Thespius for a while, and he was the second to last one i finished - he's a lover, not a fighter!!! i wound up sort of trying to take an angle similar to Sugar's in OFF, an optional boss who you have to deliberately go for (i have this distinct vision in my mind of a boss track for him called "Swansong")
Bauhauzzo is meant to look kind of stuck in the ground, like an obelisk!
Inspekta was taken for sort of a "busted doll" look, from that bit in the art book where they said he was animated to "move like a plushie"! he was my favorite of the bunch to work on, even if the hands were kind of a Situation
it was kind of a bummer that more of King's eye-veil didn't turn out in the sprite, but i couldn't quite find a way to make it show up without making it hide her face too much! people drawing her posing with the sword was a huge source of inspiration, though, it just felt right
i might do more of these sometime soon - maybe the Bizzyboys as a sort of group fight? i also thought about doing a Godpoke Batter type of look but i couldn't quite figure out how to finagle that, but i may try again later on!
#my art#great god grove#great god grove spoilers#i have been working on this for like four days now. oof ouch my wristssssss#it's such a process to make OFF-style sprites but its genuinely so much fun i might try to do some for other things sometime!#cw eyestrain#<- just in case those backgrounds are Too Much for some folks
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Something about how Haymitch continues to drink. That he never ‘fully’ recovers, even though there are plenty of opportunities through and after the series when his access to alcohol is cut off. Something about him perhaps seeing the act as pointless because the damage to his body has been done, but being content with the time he has left.
Something about Haymitch being able to care about people again; allowing himself to care about Katniss and Peeta and not having to fear losing them or anyone else ever again. That he finds a hobby, a constructive and meaningful way to spend his time that not only reminds him of Lenore Dove, but was prompted by the people he has around him. That he finally feels safe enough to open up about and remember everyone who was taken over the years. That he’s able to heal some through this.
Something about how Haymitch’s pain doesn’t go away, but he’s able to find peace with it through these practices and people, and is able to forgive himself and feel forgiven by those he lost.
#I kinda love when a character doesn’t ‘fully’ recover#there are lasting impacts to trauma or injury. and it’s realistic#Haymitch doesn’t stop drinking but that doesn’t mean he’s not healing or processing#and likewise—sometimes people don’t overcome that stuff. sometimes they don’t break the addiction.#it doesn’t mean their lives are less valueble or that they have less meaning#it’s doesn’t mean they’re without loved ones#it’s just something that is.#not a moral failure or a sign of weak character. just a reality.#Haymitch takes steps in his life toward healing—the geese the memory book#and he’s doing better by the epilogue#he just. continues to drink. maybe a bit less because he has his hobbies and network of people#but it’s something real.#and a decision on Collins’ part that I really really respect#‘imperfect recovery’ as it were#haymitch abernathy#the hunger games#sotr#sunrise on the reaping spoilers#thg#sunrise on the reaping#sotr spoilers#my post#tw alcoholism#tw addiction
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