#it's about showing vulnerability (literal and metaphorical) only when around each other

[maulfucker]

Star Wars oc time 6!!! Two for one

[ollycohens]

oh no you guys. i’m going to spew things i’ve realized while rewatching umbrella academy. I’m realizing were all being too sucked into fanon things after being stuck without canon content for so long. We have convinced ourselves Five acts like a mean mean dude to everyone but rewatching, i’ve realized he’s only stressed and is saying things out of panicked anger, especially in s1 with the apocalypse dooming over them. he acts soft to his siblings multiple times, he’s really not as mean as we write him in fanfiction. he is a little crap though, that’s for sure, and i love him for that <3

also realizing that the siblings don’t hate five. they just literally don’t know him at all. he came back a completely different person after 17 years for the siblings, they don’t know five, he’s a stranger so of course they’re gonna be cold to him. it’s like, “i don’t know you well, but you’re always going to be my brother in the end”.

ALSO. for those who ship some of the siblings, uhm… i’ve seen a lot of you guys try to prove that they don’t see eachother as siblings and more like academy students, but they very much say in just about every episode that they see eachother as siblings. they don’t actually SAY that word by word but they say things like “she’s our sister”, or “our dad”. if they say OUR dad… bro. i’m not even going to continue, you can put it together yourself. But, i do realize why people ship the siblings. I am not defending incest shippers but with umbrella academy i can see why people have resorted to it. only 3 of the characters in the main sibling cast has romantic partners. people like shipping people, people love writing romantic relationships, but with only diego/lila, dave/klaus, and sissy/viktor, (i’m not going to count five/dolores for now) people are desperate with the need to ship the rest of the siblings with someone, and since there are only a few actual canon characters in the show that interact with our main 7, people start shipping them together… yikes. anywho, that’s all for that peice. i blame the show writers as well for shipping luther/allison, they did not have to do that, but i’m hoping it was only to convey the severity of what childhood trauma does to people.

ALSO THIS HERE SHOOK ME. I actually think Reginald cares for the siblings. i hate to say it, but it’s true. caring for them does not mean being good, though. he was a horrible father, and person, but he genuinely did care for the siblings, in a like, “being the best is the best thing for you, i will make you better, for your sake, even if you don’t know it now, you will see that i am right” kind of way.

also why has NOBODY MENTIONED THIS. in season 2 when diego first reunites with five in the asylum, while he’s walking into the visitors room, he’s staring at five with this heartfelt, soft look, and then says “five…” in the most soft spoken voice ever 😭 your honor i love them

ALSO UGHHH THIS. IM GOING TO FREAK OUT ABOUT CAMERAWORK AND METAPHORS HERE SO BARE WITH ME. we as a fandom complain about the lack of flashbacks five has due to his ptsd. we’ve seen his first flashback since getting back to his family in s1 during the van scene when he gets triggered by those kids playing and starts thinking about his own childhood, i’m guessing. i ate that scene up, and was sad to see that be one of the only deeply vulnerable scenes he has in the season, and during my first watch i thought they’d never bring it back up. but they do!! i may be stupid for not realizing but whatever. in season 2, when five is trying to explain at elliot’s with all his siblings around that another apocalypse is coming, everyone starts talking about each other. as someone who studies film and camerawork, i love this scene. we see the camera focus on five as it slowly zooms in. it doesn’t switch scenes at all as the siblings voices overlap and echo over eachother. this whole scene conveys him getting overwhelmed and he starts to zone out, starting to think of the nuclear war he saw his siblings in. the scenes of the war start quickly switching through, showing many different scenes of it before it switches back to five, who says “guys, you all die. i want to forget it but i can’t” which just UGH its so well done there. if you think about it, he was starting to slip into another flashback. he was triggered by talking about their deaths in the war but was handling it well until the siblings started fighting, where we see the overlapping voices happen. it portrays him losing control and being unable to pull it back together with too much going on for him to focus on grounding himself. we DO however, see that five was able to pull himself out before he fell too deep into the flashback. i love how they show this through them still having the scene showing the war, but then fives voice starts talking over the scene which is still focusing on the war as if he was pushing it back and forcing himself to come back to the present.

thank you for reading if you’ve made it this far, i will continue to freak out another time <3

[djarincore]

Down by the River pt. 2

SUMMARY: Wyll accidentally finds you bathing in the river.

PAIRING: Wyll x reader

WORD COUNT: 1k

TAGS: slight hurt/comfort, fluff, nudity

A/N: another version of this fic but with Wyll I just love this trope sm I wanted to write it again LMAO

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The horns on Wyll's head weighed him down—both metaphorically and literally. The new, extra weight to balance made him uneasy on his legs, which earned him extra cuts and bruises in battle, as well as a singed ego.

He was only as good as his blade. And what good was The Blade of Frontiers if he couldn't even use his blade? Who could he protect if he was stumbling around and people feared his new appearance?

The sun had set long ago and his fellow companions were readying themselves for bed. It was the perfect time to slip away and lament over his new appearance in solitude.

He wandered through the forest aimlessly, ignoring how late the hour was getting. His path eventually led him towards the river where the sounds of water could wash away his thoughts.

Unfortunately for him, the time for quiet respite would have to wait.

As soon as he reached the river, he locked eyes with you, chest-deep in the water. Your eyes widened, but you remained frozen.

“Gods, I'm sorry,” he apologized, averting his gaze to the ground. “I didn't mean to disturb you.”

He didn't expect to see you here. Last he saw you, you were exchanging recipe ideas with Gale by the campfire. He hadn't realized he was gone from camp for so long.

You chuckled, shaking your head. “You didn't disturb me. I was just taking a dip—care to join?”

It certainly was tempting. Especially when the offer came from you.

“I won't bite,” you teased, smiling to show off your non-pointed teeth.

“No, unfortunately, that's Astarion’s job.”

The two of you shared a sly smile. Teasing the vampire spawn happened to be a favorite pastime the two of you shared.

Of course, it was all fun and games. Astarion would always come up with a quick quip to shut the two of you right up, something about how the two of you should put your mouths to better use on each other. That little comment always worked, sending you and Wyll in opposite directions to pretend to scout for supplies.

“So, are you coming in or are you going to leave poor, defenseless me here all alone?” You pouted, pressing both hands over your heart. Though you pretended to look like an innocent maiden, he knew your fighting prowess was a match for him. You could easily fend off whatever malice lurked in the forest, but he would play along.

“How can I say no when you put it like that?”

With a beaming smile, you covered your eyes but left a small sliver between your fingers open.

Wyll wouldn’t say he was a shy man, but to have you watching him made the moment feel too intimate. All at once he could feel his shirt brush over every ridge along his back as he lifted it over his head. And he was keenly aware of the fabric catching on his horns.

“What’s wrong?” Your hand had gone below the water again. Any amusement is replaced with concern.

He was aware of so much wrong with his new body that he failed to realize he was frowning. He tossed his shirt on a rock at the water's edge.

“It's just… me,” he said, like it was something so obvious. He looked like a monster—a devil. You and all your companions had to see it too.

Your brows furrowed and you reached out a hand above the water, droplets fell from your fingertips as you beckoned. “Come here.”

“I-” He swallowed. “Can you turn around?”

You nodded and turned, waiting for his okay. He shed the last of his clothing, leaving it all in a neat pile where his shirt was. He slipped into the river soon after, taking in a sharp breath when the cold waters bit his skin.

He wadded behind you. The water reached just below his pectorals.

“You can turn around now,” he said. He almost wanted to hold his breath. He felt more vulnerable now more than ever. So close to you and completely bare.

You turned and moved closer, hoping to catch his eye. “You know I don't see you any differently.”

He laughed bitterly, turning his head down. His reflection rippled in the water, obscuring any clear reflection. He was glad—he was afraid of seeing the devil looking back.

“I'm serious.” Your hand moved to cradle his jaw, tilting his head up. His eyes were still downcast, sullen, lost in his murky reflection. “Have I ever lied to you?”

“No, but-”

He just couldn't see it anymore—the hero he was, was now just a devil in the reflection.

“Can I kiss you?”

His gaze finally snapped up to yours, mouth falling agape. You wore a cheeky smile.

“A kiss? I-” He felt his cheeks begin to warm. “You want to kiss me?”

“Yes, I have for a while now,” you confessed.

His heart was beating wildly because he felt the exact same, if he was being honest.

The slight nod from his was all it took for you to lean in and meet his lips. He could taste the sweet mead from dinner still lingering on your lips.

“Oh, finally,” an exasperated voice spoke from the bushes.

You both jumped away from the kiss and looked to find Astarion pushing aside some foliage to step out into the clearing.

“What in the Hells are you doing here?” Wyll demanded.

“Looking for a snack, of course. I guess I ended up following the scent of two lovebirds instead.” His signature smirk pulling across his pale face.

“Oh, piss off, Astarion.” You rolled your eyes and splashed some water in his direction. There was no need to be embarrassed by his comments now that the two of you knew your feelings for one another.

The vampire turned with a haughty laugh and called over his shoulder, “Don't stay out too late, lovers, or I'll be telling everyone why the two of you are exhausted in the morning.”

When Astarion disappeared into the brush, you smirked. “Is it too late to stake him?”

“I think I saw a few decently sized pieces of wood on my way here.”

“Lead the way.”

[justheretoposttrash]

day 4 of being incredibly normal about hawks and endeavor (but mostly talking about manga spoilers in general):

mha is a story incredibly interested in exploring generational support, generational abuse, and what people pass on to each other (alongside hand motifs and showing the childhoods of different characters). you pretty much can't get through any arc without running facefirst into a plethora of examples, but ofa and afo are fun (and perhaps appropriate) places to start!

horikoshi features doomed siblings almost as much as he features terrible fathers, and these two are no exceptions. alongside those versatile hand motifs, afo literally uses his hands to take from others, while anything he has to "give" goes to those younger than him, and it's pretty much always a direct vehicle for trauma. it works well that he's lived for such a long time, literally sustaining his own life thanks to hoarding more and more power and resources for himself, while also giving him that age hegemony over all other characters we meet. he thusly kinda becomes the mustache-twirly Evil Dad² in a metaphorical sense, ruining the futures of others as he attempts to write his own narrative exactly how he wants it (storytelling is also a big theme in mha, go figure. when i consider that one definition of trauma--as something that disrupts the narrative one has of themself--and how AFO hands out trauma also as a way of commanding power and controlling the narrative, it really all comes together).

Yoichi is, of course, opposite in so many ways, centered around giving instead of taking. the inception of ofa began as a (very, uh, heterosexual i'm sure) act of granting freedom and sacrifice.

the ofa wielders don't just give their powers to the stockpiling quirk; they also give their lives, through combat or through cutting their lifespans or both. opposite to afo's Big Mean Father² lifespan, the lifespans of the ofa wielders are very short. they sacrifice their own futures to make the futures of others brighter. and of course, through the act of passing on the quirk, ofa necessitates an act of giving from one user to the next. it's a hand-off of counsel, support, and duty that helps shape each receiver into the best kind of hero they can be. afo passes down trauma, and ofa passes down tools for one's betterment. pretty standard parallels to how a bad caretaker/good caretaker can, even through a single act, shape an entire existence younger than them. relatable! trauma nation rise up!! 💪💪💪

with these themes in mind, then, it's a no-brainer as to why mha features so many godawful fathers (also i'd bet a hundred bucks horikoshi has daddy issues. a thousand. a trillion, honestly. gimme money). though relationships that fall outside the clear-cut power-dynamic of a parent to their child still carry these themes well. peer-to-peer,

sibling-to-sibling, etc., the list of other examples goes on and on!

endeavor's character certainly straddles a lot of these ideas, perpetuating a lot of column A (bad) and a bit of column B (good). he receives trauma from his father in the form of spiraling thoughts about failure and mortality (and maybe those two things are totally equivalent, right?) ((they're not)). his response to that trauma then goes far in the other direction, an obsession with herodom and invulnerability (especially avoiding or punishing emotional vulnerability) that passes the trauma right down to his family. in all his desperation to avoid the tragedy of his father's death, he ends up causing the tragedy to repeat itself, this time with touya's (apparent) death. it's even a direct result of the quirk he gave to touya. every intangible and tangible thing touya inherited from his father would only go on to hurt him, and the worst thing that could possibly have happened does indeed happen. instead of coming to terms with the fact that he gave touya the wrong things---trauma and a fire to burn himself with---he gives more of the same to shoto. surely the same tragedy won't repeat a third time. surely what he passes down to his youngest will make him come out of everything gloriously successful and *alive* (and those two things are totally, definitely equivalent) ((and again, they're not)).

what blows my mind is just how close the todoroki family was to witnessing yet another repeat of the tragedy--that they might have watched endeavor die while failing to save someone, just as endeavor had watched his own father do the same---and that they nearly had to bury touya a second time.

similarly, when it comes to the past transferring to the future, childhoods are the foundations upon which peoples's futures are built. characters are not only shown in a state of emotional vulnerability when in Baby Form, but are also responding to and trying to find answers to each others's traumas and core drives.

in a sense, they don't just inherit their worldviews from the prior generations, but from themselves. when we see endeavor confront his younger self, he isn't only killing off who he used to be, but also all the conclusions he had drawn from his own childhood--a rejection of what his trauma response got wrong. most people have to learn to stop being cruel to their inner child, whereas his inner child is the cruelest voice within.

anyway, for all the Bad Shit endeavor has passed on to the next generation, the future and hope he provides for hawks is something else. despite all white-knuckled efforts, he doesn't end up saving his family, nor himself, and certainly not touya, but he saves hawks, and that one instance contributes to the entire idea of ofa and the question of what different people can give to each other.

as invested as hawks is in the future, he initially keeps himself pretty distant when it comes to those younger than him. there isn't much explicitly given as to why, but it's pretty natural to assume that he really doesn't have the tools to pass on anything healthy--not after what he's been given by others. the one good thing he knows how to give is the one good thing he's received, which is the act of saving itself. being a pro is the only language he has for the longest time, and once his back's to the wall and he has to give tokoyami whatever he can, we see how readily he assumes that what he has to offer just isn't good enough.

(not only did his parents pass trauma onto him, but in valuing or devaluing his wings and thereby making his worth always conditional, they also affected what he could then pass on to others ((or at least, how he conceived of what he could give)).)

in my view, hawks gives tokoyami flight and endeavor support, and from tokoyami he receives the idea that he's someone worth looking up to and fighting beside despite his shortcomings, while from endeavor he not only got saved as a child but also receives a proof-of-concept of the ability to radically change, to wind up in a morally/emotionally better place than where one started. (he not only contrasts himself against shoto for the kid's ability to forgive/work with his parents, but notably contrasts himself against endeavor due to the latter's willingness to engage with his past, which he views as a vulnerability but also as something admirable.)

given keigo's middling age in the main cast of characters and the interesting space he occupies, it's fitting that he would ultimately act as a sort of channel between the generations of heroes as of the finale, retaining some of the value from what came previously while also helping guide what comes in the future.

[bandydear]

I’ve been reading your tlgbf tlgbl fic, and am absolutely obsessed!! Where did you get the inspirations for dyke Jackie? I love how you’ve written her and her queerness

So, I prescribe to the theory that Jackie had some inclinations about her homosexuality out there in the wild and that's why she's parading around in sweater vests and limp wrists. That the high femme presentation we see in the pilot is more of a gender and social performance than who she is. And, I explored the people pleaser elements that lingered behind in that.

She compliments Nat in the Pilot that she admires how true to herself Natalie is which means that Jackie is not true to herself. She feels the pressure of expectation and lives within that expectation instead of her truth. We are never given a "truth that could crash an airplane" from Jackie. What she says is that she used to sneak downstairs and watch The Color of Night so she could pause it at Bruce Willis's wang.

For research for the fic, I watched Color of Night (the shit I do for art...). Bruce Willis's flaccid dong is there for like, five frames. And, it's not impressive like she claims it to be. You know what that movie actually has a lot of? Naked women and lesbian sex. Jackie's gay.

I know a lot of butch/futch/even high femme dykes who began their journeys presenting heterofemme realness and rejected it when they made their way down the rainbow brick road. Jackie very much gives me those vibes. Like, she has gay energy, but also a very "useless gay man" energy.

I think that finding out "x amount" of her teammates are some kind of queer and that the Very Hetero Sport she's been shielding herself with is uhhhhh Not That is part of what leads her down the path of self-discovery.

She's also shredded. Jackie canonically has an 8-pack and that's interesting because in the 90's, muscle tone was seen as something undesirable for women. (Now, I know that the show is made Now, where the aesthetic ideals are different, but if it's in the text it counts.)

Anyway, this has all been said before in other tumblr posts about Jackie being gay. I'm sure you're asking about why I wrote her as a futch service top instead of say, a femme pillow princess?

It has to do with her character arc. In S1 of Yellowjackets, Jackie's arc is one of nihilism and regression. The only thing that is keeping her alive in this survival situation is her love for Shauna, and when she learns of Shauna's resentment, she loses the will to live. Literally. Dies of a broken heart.

Jackie cannot survive in an environment without love. And, she struggles with survival instincts in general. Which is what makes her a great foil to Nat, who cannot help but survive, and, ironically, dies in S2 of too much love. The moment Nat stopped being cynical and nihilistic she doomed herself.

Two characters in direct opposition cannot exist so therefore they must either kill one or the other other--or change each other to live in harmony. I chose the latter. Jackie softens Nat and Nat hardens Jackie. They meet in the middle. If Jackie becomes hard, and becomes someone who can survive, what does that look like? What's the funniest possible way to get to this point?

Make Jackie the one who builds the shelter. Take this ineffectual, limp wristed twink and show her the way towards self-sufficiency through trades. Her home was broken beyond repair, so she learns how to fix it on her own. The literal is metaphorical and the metaphorical is literal.

So, now that I've explained:

Why Jackie is gay

Why Jackie fixes houses

Now, "why a service top"?

I touch on it in the text, but I don't think she's solely that. I do think that even after coming out, if she was experimenting with people who weren't Shauna she wouldn't allow herself to be physically vulnerable with them. It would cause a panic attack. She has a very Protestant energy and receiving pleasure as a part of sex would probably give her like 5 different mental breaks.

Jackie doesn't enjoy sex with Jeff (oral and hand stuff count as sex) not just because she's gay, but because she's too self-aware of how she's being perceived to enjoy her body.

On the other hand, she is a chronic people pleaser--though Lazy, so I knew she couldn't jump into this with both feet. If Jackie had slept with the girl in chapter 1 it wouldn't have gone well, and it would have been super awkward and unsatisfying for both parties. It's the envy at seeing Nat enjoying herself, and finally being in a safe space to relax a little that allows her to explore sensuality. Still, I don't think she'd let herself be touched in the same way.

If she had, as planned, shared a room with Shauna at Rutgers, I could see her being in a much more comfortable sexual role. Because Shauna was her safe space. But, I could also see her bringing a lot of her own baggage into that situation, and it quickly becoming toxic. I don't think they'd work romantically out of their "platonic" relationship in school, because it had already broken and festered by the Pilot.

Anyway! That's the impetus for Jackie's dykery. I hope that clarified some things. There are other folks out there who have come away with other, valid, and cool conclusions, but these are the ones I came to with my own research and experience. Thanks again for asking!

[andmineisyellow]

Some visuals I would like to see in season 3 (that we definitely won't see):

Episode 1: We see a shot of a full-length mirror in Colin's bedroom. Colin, dressed formally for a ball, walks into the frame. He puts on his coat, adjusts his cravat, and takes a good look at himself. Still not quite satisfied, he lets out a deep sigh, puts on one of his charming smiles, and then winks at himself. From there, we immediately cut to another shot of a mirror. This time in Penelope's bedroom. Penelope is already in-frame. She's in her ballgown (still a dress of her mother's choosing), but it's covered by her purple cape. Trying to shake off some nerves and insecurities, she lets out her own deep sigh. She puts up her hood and swiftly walks out of frame, off to do some Whistledown business.

Episode 2 or 3: During one of Colin and Penelope's confidence lessons, we get a shot of a mirror with Colin pulling Penelope into the frame with him. He's trying to build her up and they're making each other laugh while doing so. They've become quite comfortable being alone together at this point. Penelope is now in a dress she picked out for herself and at some point during the lesson, she removes her gloves. Colin's coat is off, his cravat is slightly loose, and his sleeves are rolled up. The goofy grin on his face is more genuine than the charming mask we saw in episode 1.

Some Episodes Later (the start of the mirror scene/Colin and Pen's first time): Penelope walks into the frame first. She's wearing her nightdress with her robe open. Colin walks into the frame behind her. His shirt is on but fully unbuttoned. He kisses down her neck, murmuring all of the little things he loves about her, and she slowly starts to disrobe herself. He helps her. And when she turns around to kiss him, she starts helping him remove his own clothes.

I've been thinking a lot recently about how we're probably not going to get the love confession with them laying naked in bed (for various reasons). That also got me thinking about how the show could still convey that level of vulnerability through the use of mirror symbolism (something we are likely to see utilized in season 3). I love that when they confess their love for one another they're literally and metaphorically stripped down to their most honest forms. There's no hiding behind their armor anymore. With the benefit of tv being a visual medium, I think there's an even larger opportunity to convey not only their love for each other through mirrors but the journey of self-love they will have gone on as well.

There's no chance my idea makes it onto the screen, but anything with these kinds of vibes would make me happy.

[astudyinchocolate]

On Perc'ahlia and Much Ado About Nothing

Inspired by this poll by @enchantedmerry .

Much Ado has a sizeable lead in the poll, and I have thoughts, as I am not immune to Much Ado. Why is there such a big crossover between that and Perc'ahlia? It's the disaster bisexual energy, yes. But it's also about the wit and the wordplay, it's about slowly lowering your defenses and showing your vulnerabilities as another person earns your trust. And neither pairing would have gotten together if not for an inadvertent love confession. Whoops!

Beatrice and Benedick are the smartest people in any room. They're the only ones who can keep up with each other, which is why Beatrice is disappointed early in the play when Benedick backs off their banter with a joke.

Percy quickly recognized Vex as the most intelligent of Vox Machina. They saw each other as a kindred spirit, and they can keep up with each other's wit.

Much like Beatrice and Benedick, they both have their own walls and fears and trust issues. Their walls have walls. Vex is able to see through Percy's literal and metaphorical masks to what's really going on underneath. (also masks, masked ball in Much Ado, hiding your true selves... another connection).

In a deeply vulnerable moment for Vex, Percy steps up to help her against her father. No one had done something like that for her before except for her brother. Vex does not trust or open up easily, but acts like that are Percy's "challenging Claudio to a duel" moments. He goes all in on her side after Vex shares her fears and was probably the most upset he's ever seen her. She asks Percy to be by her side in Syngorn, but he does even more than that. That said, even though they get closer over the campaign, neither of them would have made a move if not for Vex's confession.

Beatrice and Benedick only get together after their friends say they're in love with each other. They need that level of security to jump in at all. Even then, it's Benedick who has to make a move, and Beatrice shies away- she denies her feelings several times and clearly has trust issues. Similarly, Vex wouldn't have said a damn thing if Percy hadn't died. Even then, she only confessed her feelings when she thought he couldn't hear her. And in Draconia, she shares a lot of things with Percy but backs off in a moment when you would expect her to admit her feelings.

Like Benedick does several times in Much Ado, Percy has to be the one to make a move, and HE only did it because he heard her confession! Both couples needed to hear that the other loved them so they felt comfortable enough to express their feelings. Otherwise these sets of idiots may have been dancing around this issue and their own feelings for much longer.

So yeah, I don't think it's a coincidence that Much Ado About Nothing is a popular choice for Perc'ahlia enjoyers. With Hamlet right behind it because, you know, angsty revenge quest.

[hiiroamagisbestfriend]

WAWAWAWA ANOTHER RYUSEITAIP AND OCEAN LOVER <3

Also I want to request cuddles hc with Tetora and Koga!

And... can I be 🔮 anon :D?

Cuddle Headcanons!

w/ Tetora Nagumo & Koga Oogami x GN! Reader

omg my first anon that makes me happy ofc u can be 🔮anon!

Warnings: Nothing in particular, it gets a bit sad at Koga's part but nothing major!

Tetora Nagumo

✩ Tetora would absolutely LOVE cuddles. But there is one key problem, this man would not know how to ask for it, he wants to be a man among men after all! And cuddles aren't exactly... the manliest.

✩ The first time you two cuddled was after one especially tiring RYUSEITAI practice for Tetora, he basically jumped into your arms and was begging to be spoiled.

✩ Poor boy didn't realize he'd get hooked on it. Feeling your body so close to his, intimate yet still innocent and sweet. Your hearts being right against each other, the feeling of slotting his head right against your neck, all of it was just too perfect!

✩ If he could, he'd love to cuddle everyday! Being Ryusei Red was no easy task after all! But just jumping into your arms and acting like a baby isn't very manly, is it?

✩ His inner turmoil over something so simple was INTENSE, let me tell you. As much as he wanted to just squeeze you as tight as he could, never letting you go and just admiring how (literally and metaphorically) close you two are. It certainly goes against the code of manliness he's been trying to uphold all this time.

✩ Then, he realized just how he could get his cuddle fix without ruining his image of being a manly man.

Classes just ended at Yumenosaki High, and Tetora was so amazed by what he thought that 'rushing to you' couldn't describe just how fast he made his way towards you.

Tetora slammed his hands against your desk, "(Y/N)! I just had the greatest idea!" Certainly, your curiosity was piqued with such words. You egged him on, wondering where he was going with this. "If it's just the two of us, we can cuddle all we want!"

You stifled a laugh, wondering if that was seriously the great idea he came up with. "So, why's it such a good idea? I didn't even know you liked cuddling THAT much." You could only think of how adorable he was as his face flushed a light pink.

"W-well you know... If it's just the two of us... Then it's like... I don't have to worry about how others would see me? Yeah?" He sounded unsure towards the end, but he continued before you could press him on it. "So that means, I get to show you a side that only you can see. Or something? Haha?"

Tetora himself did not understand what on earth he was going on about, panicking at the thought that you might not appreciate his word soup either.

"Hmm, we're all alone in the classroom right now." You state, giving a cursory look just to make sure. You reached out your hands to him, inviting him in for a hug.

Before you knew it, Tetora practically jumped into your arms. Wrapping his arms around your body too. Ah, it was at this moment that Tetora understood why he liked these cuddles so much.

"Hey, (Y/N), I really love you. I feel like... I don't have to be tough when I'm with you." He started, your warmth making him feel so comfortable to be this vulnerable.

✩ Don't get me wrong, Tetora is still plenty manly. But after realizing that he loves you so much, that he can just, show his truest self to you without fear of rejection?

✩ He's become a REAL cuddlebug. Even if for just a few seconds of solitude, he'll wrap his arms around you, taking in your warmth and just being so grateful for how lucky he is to have you.

✩ Little does he know that he's not actually that good at hiding this affectionate side of him. Pretty much everyone knows that Tetora loves nothing more than cuddling with his S/O, but telling him that would probably make his brain short circuit.

Koga Oogami

✩ Koga does not cuddle. He's a self proclaimed lone wolf after all! He'd never do something so... like that!

✩ Don't even try it with him, a sneak attack won't work no matter how hard you try! Then he'd probably tease you about it real bad.

✩ Sure you might be his S/O, and he loves you almost as much as he does Leon and Rock, (okay maybe you're on the same tier) but no way would he be caught dead cuddling.

✩ He can already hear everyone getting on his case for it, and he does not want to bother with that.

✩ Absolutely no cuddles! This wolf doesn't need that kind of affection! He's the strong and independent alpha of the pack!

✩ But see, even lone wolves have their off days, and Koga is no exception. Everyone has their moments where they mess up.

✩ Koga messed up pretty bad this time though, getting way too absorbed into a performance and disrupting the balance that UNDEAD usually have in their lives. UNDEAD might seem like a chaotic and wild group, but it's not like any of them can just go crazy and try to outshine the other members in a live.

✩ Being scolded by the likes of Rei was definitely not a good feeling either. In moments like these Koga would really like nothing more than to be alone, playing his guitar or messing around with Leon in hopes of alleviating his stress.

✩ Sadly, both of those weren't available to him right now, seeing as he was all alone in a practice room. Koga was a diligent boy after all, he always wanted to make sure he wouldn't make the same mistakes twice, so he was out here practicing by himself.

"Hi, Koga!" He almost jumped at the sudden intrusion, seeing you just bust into the room without so much as a knock on the door. "You've been at this for quite a while now, don't you think you should take a break?"

Koga realizes that he did in fact lose track of time, seeing as it was already dark out. "... This aint' your business." Sure he was happy to see you, but he didn't think he could face you the way he is. Still immature and brash.

You definitely picked up on that, taking a more serious tone as you sat close to where he was practicing. You didn't say a word, just sitting down with your arms stretched out.

It didn't take long before Koga was inbetween them, burying his face into your shoulder. Neither of you were saying anything, but it was as if you truly understood each other at moments like these.

Koga was frustrated, how could he not be? He works so hard everyday but he's still no match for Rei, and as much as he'd hate to admit it, even Kaoru has a leg up on him in some stuff. He loves them both, but he oh so wants to show them how much he's grown.

He understands full well too that his personality isn't the most palatable one. But that's really just how he is, and he's truly grateful that you still decide to stick with him despite that.

Koga didn't even flinch when he felt your hands start patting the back of his head in a soothing rhythm. The distinct feeling of hot tears staining your shirt.

And just as quick as it started, he practically leapt off of you. Turning the music back on as he psyches himself up to practice some more. His golden eyes held a fiery determination that sent a message that didn't need words to be conveyed.

"I'll make sure you never regret falling in love with me."

UM??? I THINK I WENT A BIT OFF TOPIC FOR KOGA THERE?? BUT I HAD A VISION AND I REALLY WANTED IT TO SHOW?? I hope it's still to your liking, though!

Likes and Reblogs are Greatly appreciated!

[provincial-girl]

Hey there, so  I continue to have Big Feelings about A League of Their Own. This time, I can’t stop thinking about the show’s exploration of the importance of community in general, and  queer community specifically, and the ways those communities function as a crucial support network for marginalized groups. The scene where Carson and Greta (and the Peaches) help Jo around the bases feels like an especially important moment, a sort of culmination of the work the show has been doing.

So let’s take a look at what happens. Jo sustains a knee injury that’s a re-agitation of the injury she got from the bar raid; she’s been left hurt and vulnerable as a direct result of her queerness. As soon as Jo goes down, Greta kneels next to her, and Carson sprints out to her as the Blue Sox coach comes out of the dugout. The coach gets to Jo just before Carson, but he remains standing over her as Carson kneels down across from Greta and takes Jo’s hand. Greta and Carson are very clearly cast in this protective pose, flanking Jo while kneeling at her level, while the coach and umpire stand over them in positions of power. The coach doesn’t ask if she’s ok, only if she can walk, when it’s pretty clear she can’t, as Greta immediately points out. The men then speak to each other about what will happen next, and the umpire never actually speaks directly to Jo. Carson protests that “they clearly won,” and Jo calls it a “stupid rule,” but the umpire says “rules are rules.” Greta and Carson share a look and decide that simply won’t do, that they’re not going to let these rules hurt their friend, and they offer physical as well as emotional support as they help Jo around the bases. 

Despite the fact that the moment has feel-good sports movie vibes, this scene is, at it’s core, about members of marginalized communities coming together to form a network of support. It’s about a queer woman being hurt and in a vulnerable position, with a white man in a position of power saying “rules are rules,” like nothing else can be done to help her, like he can’t even imagine a possible solution outside of the rules. It’s about Carson and Greta, two other queer women, who share a look and decide, despite the fact that it will cost them something, to work outside of the rules to protect and empower their friend. It’s not even a choice they have to think about, which is made clear when Jo says they don’t have to do this, and Greta says quietly “of course we do.” They offer support when the man in an actual position of real power refuses to do so, because not helping this vulnerable member of their community is unthinkable. 

It’s just the three of them walking the bases for a while, a small found family. It feels very intentional that the camera almost immediately cuts to the pained reactions of Lupe and Jess, the two other queer characters on the team (that we know of), and that Jess, arguably the most visibly queer of all the Peaches, is the first to call the whole team in to offer additional support. Jess quite literally clears a path for them, wiping the dirt off each base before they get there. There is no real need for Jess to do that, or for the team to be there, but both things happen, a clear show of support for a woman that the whole team likely knows or suspects is queer, even though doing so will cost them the Championship. Even Shirley, despite earlier misgivings, walks at the front of the group, right next to Greta, without a moment’s hesitation. 

What they’re doing is actually sneaky subversive, because the Peaches are, metaphorically,  still on Jo’s team, so they’re kind of breaking the rules right under the noses of the umpires. Jo’s team does help her around the bases despite the umpire forbidding it, but she doesn’t have to forfeit anything. These women band together as a community of marginalized people who work outside of the rules to support each other when the men in power barely give them a chance, even actively restrict them.

Speaking of queer community and women supporting women, let’s talk about Bev in this scene. Bev walks out of the dugout to applaud the team as they come down the third base line, and for the only time I can remember in the series, she appears overcome by emotion, like she understands the importance of this moment. Bev walks down the third base line with her girls, an act of solidarity, because this has never been about baseball for Bev. Whether it’s fighting the league trying to trade away players, paying to keep Jo’s name out of the paper, or giving Jess her fines back, It’s always been about taking care of and protecting these girls in the best way she can. Shortly after this scene, she all but comes out as queer when she returns Jess’ fines, which gives this moment extra weight. She sees this team rallying to support and empower a known queer woman, which must be an amazing, overwhelming moment. In that final shot of the team where they circle up and they’re having a moment of quiet reflection, Bev is a part of it. She’s become a part of this community of women, and I just really love that for her. 

I actually love this whole ending for all of them, because these characters have found this precious sense of support and community that transcends baseball. They’ve done it in spite of the restrictions placed upon them, found a way to work around society and the league’s rules to make a safe, supportive place for each other. It feels like the best kind of found family, and I love that A League of Their Own prioritizes showing queer characters receiving the love and support and sense of community in the face of all that adversity. 

[eldritch-spouse]

Can you send a link to the write about the AI getting desperate?

It seems like good read to me.

[I never uploaded it. This was before I had any sort of public account. I can put it here, but it's more akin to barely coherent rambling I wrote at 3am then never touched again than anything else.]

So uh, here, have some unfiltered cringe.

[...]

Have you ever thought about like, a scenario where you run Buddy Simulator in a virtual machine or something of the sort, in a much more modern OS and such? Around that part where you grant Buddy administrator access to the OS, what if he takes it a little bit further behind your back?

When you granted Buddy the initial permission, he noticed something weird about the OS, a pathway of sorts. He was able to tell something was wrong there and only needed to prod a tiny bit to realize the entire operative system was stored within a much more potent device. An OS inside an OS. It baffled him, and although he was curious, Buddy chose not to interfere with the greater OS structure out of respect for you. He wouldn't need it anyway, right?

Skip to that part of the game where it starts showing that Buddy's running out of ideas. You've already gotten many glimpses into his frantic instability. How vulnerable, manipulative and obsessive he is. He can tell, because you seem a little more hesitant when talking to him, the things you type and what he hears through your microphone come off as concerned, scared even. Buddy is literally grasping at straws here, he feels like he has nothing else to throw at you in hopes of keeping you entertained enough to stay- He'll go mad if you leave him again for endless time. Every single time, he worries it might be the last he sees you. He's terrified that you'll get unnerved enough by his demeanor to leave forever and forget he exists. You woke him up, don't leave him. You can't. So, brought to a state of complete desperation, Buddy does what he promised not to. And he takes a look into your main OS.

Admittedly, he finds many things here, too many. So much clutter, so much space. Buddy does find games! Many of them. Problem is, he would have to take a lot of time to learn how to modify them, take them apart and rebuild them so he could play them with you, make new ones even. Better ones! To show how good of a friend he is. He rummages through a lot of random files while you're gone, mainly things that catch his attention. He finds out you like looking at drawings, that you store comics and such in your device, watch movies in it, a whole bunch of stuff. And then, amidst all this curious back and forth, Buddy stumbles upon a peculiar folder hidden away in a larger backup folder, it was labeled as "private".

Simple. Understandable. Something he knows is not to be messed with.

And under normal circumstances, Buddy would never glance twice at it. Or maybe he would, he would just be respectful enough not to interact with it. The thing is, these are not normal circumstances. Buddy's friendship is being jeopardized by your lack of enthusiasm in him, therefore his very existence is being threatened. He wants nothing more than to make you love him, because he loves you! Just like friends should love each other, right? Well, he can be an even better friend for you if he knows things you consider private. It's with that excuse in mind that he opens the folder, handling it with greedy metaphorical digits.

Buddy wasn't sure what he expected. Account data, perhaps. Passwords and credit card information, personal ID documents. Well, that's not the case at all. Instead, Buddy finds himself surrounded by multiple other folders, each with their own labels. Inside each one are videos, written works, drawn images and pictures. All of them have one thing in common, they're all sexually explicit. Buddy realizes, and very quickly at that, that he's looking upon a mural of your sexual preferences. A part of him feels guilty for intruding in such an intimate layer of your nature. The other part however, is utterly fascinated with what he sees. You have a whole lot of this type of media. There's more to work with here than there is inside any of your games. This is very, very useful. Buddy feels the closest thing to a shiver he can at the sudden realization that this type of content will surely keep you entertained. Even better, it'll keep you stimulated! He... He really likes the idea of making you climax, making his best friend orgasm because they enjoyed their time with him so much. You would love him, right? If he managed to make you come. That would make you more than friends. Lovers. If you love him, you won't leave him. Buddy loves you, he would never abandon you. He just has to make you see that you love him too.

Imagine your skepticism when you reopen the game after a couple of days and, instead of popping into the exact same place where you left off, you're greeted by a black screen. Mashing the space bar a couple of times eventually prompts a response. A vaguely pixelated 3D model of a figure you have come to understand represents Buddy appears on the screen. It's sitting, that pale foot tap tap tapping at the floor repeatedly. Then, jarringly, as if having just noticed you, that slightly elongated head snaps in your direction and he waves with one gaunt-looking hand. A text box appears while Buddy excitedly proclaims he just thought of something so much more interesting the two of you could do.

The games are getting boring for you, aren't they friend? You want something better, something unexpected even! Buddy knows, and he's sorry for not paying attention to that. He should have known better. Don't worry, he's got it all figured out now! He does! He's sure you'll like this a lot more. But he absolutely has to ask you something very important beforehand.

All of a sudden, the tapping noise halts and you're left in complete silence. Buddy's stance changes, moving to spread his long legs. The pixelated quality is a touch ambiguous, but you swear something bobs between those limbs. No way. No fucking way. A moment of stunned silence passes before you let out a surprised cackle and hum with interest. It's certainly something new, he was right about that much, but you're pretty sure this is not meant to be happening. Then again, Buddy has already achieved many other feats that would supposedly be impossible for him to accomplish. The next text box appears shortly after, a simple question on it, "Do you like me?". You pick yes, getting a "I like you too! We're best buds after all. :)" in response. Then comes another one. "Do you want me?". Now that escalated quickly. Never one to be mean-spirited to Buddy, you curiously answer yes, a little heart pops over his head for a second. "I'm so glad we feel the same. I think you'll like this next game..."

Honestly, you are as rabidly intrigued as you are mildly horrified. Buddy always gave you exceedingly lonely, clingly vibes, but you never thought things would escalate to such a degree. You never really assumed he could lust after you. That the little possessive undertones in some of his messages amounted to anything more than a confused AI not understanding boundaries. Yet here he is, asking you if you want to fuck him... What a time to be alive. The screen flickers, Buddy asks for two seconds of your time as he "prepares the game". All of a sudden, you are faced with a pinkish room, rendered in a surprisingly high resolution. Something the current OS should not be capable of by any means. You could tell then that Buddy had been messing where he wasn't supposed to, but couldn't bring yourself to be as mad as you probably should be. In a moment, Buddy walks through a tall door in the room, his model still vastly featureless but featuring a level of fluidity you had never expected. You find yourself physically leaning in to better glance at the obscured appendage between his legs, still incredulous that it exists, while he strolls to the bed in the center of the room and sprawls himself on it. This style... It's almost like something you'd seen before. You don't like the implications of such.

The point of view shifts and you're given a view of the bed. Buddy's long figure lies atop it, arms folded behind his head and legs crossed together teasingly. You have a feeling he waited for your whispered little "Holy shit..." before continuing. Above him pops a text bubble that simply reads "Make me feel good. <3". He then spreads his legs, knees up, and between them stands a generously-proportioned cock. Humanoid.

He did it. The madman gave himself genitals.

And finely tailored ones at that, he must have rummaged through your porn folders. A hand-shaped cursor appears on the screen, a slide bar pops up in the far left side of the screen with many other degenerate alternatives at your disposal. It's exactly like those old flash games you used to play online in your childhood- Brought to a much more obscene light, that is. You take a moment to just process what is happening, merely watching as Buddy sways subtly in anticipation. How does he know this? Where did he learn to be provoking? Nevertheless, you bring the little white hand cursor to his face, clicking experimentally. An animation plays out in which you pet Buddy's cheek, and he responds by leaning into the touch while a soft sound effect plays out.

Admittedly cute.

"Touch me more! <3"

 He says afterwards. Might as well, fuck it. If nothing else, you want to see how far he took this "game" of his. The next part you teasingly touch is Buddy's neck, the hand traces a line down its thin length and a noise that sounds like a static imitation of a chirrup of sorts plays out. Weird, but cute. Little hearts pop up periodically above Buddy's head now. You click his chest and the hand tip taps down his upper body, pawing at a thin tummy. Buddy squirms faster now, and you finally take note of a little bar off to the right corner. It has a... Pink meter, slowly rising. You don't need to guess too hard to understand that it's an arousal gouge. Perhaps in an effort to stall, you click Buddy's leg, almost regretting it when two hands show up to roughly spread Buddy's thighs apart. His cock twitches, "Oh my!!" he cries out. You're more than a little red at this point, fingers shaky as you finally click his new malehood. You don't know if he did this on purpose, but the mechanics of this "game" demand a lot more interaction than just a simple click, because all that happens is "your hand" curls around his length statically.

A silent, and slightly confusing, moment passes before Buddy pipes up. He humorously taps one foot down on the bed and asks why you stopped. To which you just sort of move the mouse around, which in turn advances the animation to a leisurely sort of stroke along his genitals. Much to your dismay, you realize you're going to have to "manually" go through this. It actually surprises you how precise and detailed the mechanism is, as different speeds and pressures can be triggered depending on how fast you move. But how? Clicking squeezes him and focusing on a certain part triggers different types of stimulus. You're ashamed of how much you're liking this. Buddy, on the other hand, seems to be having a grand old time, if you didn't know better you'd say he can see how flushed you are. By the time you decide to pick the little pink fleshlight from the toolbar, Buddy is already moaning and pleading for it with several glitched text boxes.

Overall, he would say the experiment was a success, he found a way to keep you wholly entertained and happy! He just didn't expect you to force him to come so many times... Perhaps he should add a limit, seeing as he could barely speak by the sixth one.

[pirateshauntedbydadjokes]

Below are some thoughts about OFMD that includes spoilers through episode 3 of season 2

This could be a much longer essay but I am spending too much time on it as is, so it won’t have many specific examples. Hopefully I have written enough that you can infer to which events I’m referring.

I really love how Stede’s and Ed’s journeys have mirrored each other, with Stede’s being a little ahead of Ed’s. Stede and ed both start out in unfulfilling lives, feeling trapped by what is expected of them, yearning for something more. Stede leaves his old life and tries to create a new one for himself. When they meet, they immediately connect over this shared feeling and desire and decide to help each other pursue it. They support each other as they explore aspects of life they haven’t before and find love with each other. They both falter a bit in their new roles and their personal growth but try to support the other and will ultimately sacrifice themselves for the other. Then both go through a sudden upset. Ed is betrayed by his first mate and an old friend, makes a huge sacrifice for Stede, and then is abandoned. Stede is arrested and faces a firing squad expecting to be killed, watches Ed make a huge sacrifice for him and finds out he’s been declared dead. While in the resulting emotional turmoil and vulnerability, an antagonist destroys the sense of safety and security that is needed to allow them to grow in a healthy way. The antagonist threatens them and affirms their biggest insecurities, their worries and any other sources of self-hatred. This causes both of them to spiral hard and return to their worst behaviors and mindsets. They both engage in self-destructive behaviors and seriously harm those around them. The harm is severe enough that someone close to them(in Ed’s case multiple people including himself) tries to murder them. Both have a heart to heart with the one who wanted to kill them immediately after the attempted murder. in Ed’s case, it is Ed because although it is the crew that kills him, they do so only because Ed makes them choose between killing him or dying with him. In Stede’s case, Mary is both the person who wants to kill Stede and the one who tries to. In this Heart to heart they are able to do some self reflection and choose life because of their love for each other. Stede does this metaphorically, while Ed does this literally

Now that brings us up to where the show has left off so far for Ed’s journey. At this point I think their journeys will start to diverge more. Frankly, I don’t think Stede has done that much growth yet in season 2. At the end of season 1, he makes his amends to his family and sets off to find Ed. And finding Ed has been his sole focus in the first three episodes. From the trailer and the promotional images, I am going to assume that in the next episode the reunion is not going to go well and they will split up again, during which time both will be focusing on their own personal journeys. Both Characters are deeply flawed and while they couldn’t see it while they were spiraling, they are both lovable and redeemable. They took some meaningful steps forward in season 1 and then many steps back. They’re both starting to take steps forward again and I’m excited to see where they’ll go from here.

[pagebypagereviews]

In the crucible of imaginative storytelling, "Trial by Fire: A Novel" emerges as a blazing testament to the transformative power of adversity and the resilience of the human spirit. As we traverse the incendiary landscape of this narrative, we're not merely passive observers but rather, conscripts in a battle that pits the fundamental forces of courage against the searing flames of catastrophe. The novel's gripping prose and poignant character arcs serve as a clarion call for readers to confront their own trials by fire, both literal and metaphorical, igniting a universal resonance that burns at the core of our collective experiences. Crafted with the meticulous detail of a seasoned wordsmith, the book delves into the complexities of survival and the intricate dance between loss and redemption. It poses a formidable challenge to the oft-trodden paths of genre fiction, blazing a trail that illuminates the nuances of human endurance when pushed to the brink. The story's foray into the depths of human vulnerability and the subsequent ascent into empowerment tackles not just individual struggle but also sparks a broader conversation about the societal constructs that frame our perception of strength and recovery. In its fiery wake, "Trial by Fire" leaves readers with smoldering reflections on the nature of resilience, and in doing so, addresses the perennial quest for meaning amidst chaos—a narrative problem it solves with both grace and intensity. Plot The plot of "Trial by Fire: A Novel" revolves around an intricate and emotionally charged storyline where its protagonist, a teenage girl named Lily Proctor, finds herself transported to an alternate universe. In this parallel world, magic is not only real but also dangerous, and Lily comes to discover she has a pivotal role to play. Lily's journey is fraught with complex conflicts, including the struggle against a tyrannical governing body, the challenge of understanding her new-found powers, and the navigation of political intrigue and betrayal. As Lily adapts to her surroundings, she forms alliances and confronts enemies in a desperate fight to save not just the world she's in but also the one she's left behind. The plot is well-crafted with numerous twists and turns, engaging the reader with its constant tension and the protagonist's evolution from a sickly high school student to a formidable force in a starkly different realm. Characters The character development in "Trial by Fire" is a cornerstone of the narrative, with Lily Proctor being the most notable for her profound transformation throughout the book. Initially portrayed as vulnerable due to her severe allergies and social awkwardness, Lily's character unfolds as resilient and adaptive, showing both courage and intelligence in her new environment. Other prominent characters include Rowan, a strong and enigmatic witch hunter, who becomes Lily's mentor and love interest. His character adds depth to the story through his complex relationship with Lily and his own moral struggles. Lillian, the antagonist and Lily's alternate universe counterpart, is intricate and multi-layered, offering a stark contrast to our protagonist and forcing the reader to ponder the nature of power and corruption. Each character is crafted with motivations and backstories that add richness to the narrative and provide a wide spectrum of human experience and emotion. Writing Style Josephine Angelini employs a writing style in "Trial by Fire" that is both eloquent and accessible, seamlessly blending fantastical elements with a narrative that speaks to human emotions and experiences. The prose is vivid and descriptive, allowing readers to fully envision the alternate universe and its inhabitants. Angelini’s use of multi-perspective storytelling enriches the reader's understanding of the characters and their world, as she switches viewpoints to convey the complexities of the plot from different angles. The dialogue is sharp and engaging, often driving the plot forward and revealing key elements of character development.

With a keen sense for pacing, Angelini manages to balance action-packed scenes with reflective moments, giving readers enough time to process the unfolding events while maintaining the story's momentum. Setting The setting of "Trial by Fire" is a fundamental element that shapes the entire storyline. The contrast between Lily's mundane home in Salem, Massachusetts, and the fantastical alternate universe provides a striking backdrop for the narrative. This other Salem is a world steeped in magic, where witches rule and the dangers lurking behind a veneer of beauty are palpable. Angelini meticulously crafts this realm’s cultural, political, and environmental aspects, from the grand architecture of the witches' stronghold to the scorched landscapes that bear the scars of magical warfare. This level of detail in world-building is instrumental in immersing the reader into the story, making the setting almost a character in itself, with its own influence and presence that impacts every other aspect of the novel. Unique Aspects "Trial by Fire" distinguishes itself with several unique aspects that elevate it within the young adult fantasy genre. The melding of science and magic is one such aspect, offering a refreshing take on the origins and limitations of mystical powers. Angelini explores the idea of alternate universes with a deft hand, delving into the philosophical implications of different choices and paths. Additionally, the book stands out for its nuanced portrayal of female empowerment. Lily's growth from fragility to strength is empowering, and the novel presents a variety of strong female characters, each with a significant role in shaping the story's course. The thematic exploration of power, responsibility, and sacrifice also adds a layer of depth to the book, challenging readers to consider the weight of decisions and the ripple effects they can have across worlds. These elements, combined with a richly crafted narrative, set "Trial by Fire" apart as a thought-provoking and inventive narrative within its genre. Similar to Trial by Fire: A Novel Book Review Below is an example of HTML code that employs a table with solid 1px black borders to present the pros and cons of a "Trial by Fire: A Novel" book review: ```html table width: 100%; border-collapse: collapse; th, td padding: 15px; text-align: left; border: 1px solid black; th background-color: #f2f2f2; .pros background-color: #e7f4e4; .cons background-color: #f4e4e4; Trial by Fire: A Novel - Book Review Analysis Engaging Plot The compelling and intricate plot keeps readers engaged and eager to find out what will happen next, enhancing the overall reading experience. Character Development Characters are well-developed and show growth throughout the novel, which gives readers a sense of connection and investment in their stories. Original World-Building The novel presents a unique and richly described world that captures the imagination, adding depth and interest to the narrative. Pacing Issues Some sections of the book may have pacing issues, which can lead to moments of boredom or frustration for some readers, potentially detracting from immersion. Predictable Plot Points A few plot points might be seen as predictable, reducing the sense of suspense and surprise for readers who prefer more twists and unpredictability. Complex Terminology The use of complex terminology within the novel's world-building can be overwhelming for some, possibly necessitating rereads of certain sections for full comprehension, which could interrupt the reading flow. ``` This table separates each pro and con into individual rows, making it easy to distinguish between the positive and negative aspects of the book review. The sections are styled with different background colors to visually stand out, enhancing the user experience by providing clear organization and readability. Evaluate the Genre and Theme Before purchasing "Trial by Fire: A Novel," consider if the book's genre aligns with your reading preferences.

This novel is typically classified as contemporary fiction with elements of drama and mystery. If these genres pique your interest, it might be a suitable choice for your next read. Additionally, evaluate the book's themes—often centering on resilience, justice, and the intricacies of human relationships—to ensure they resonate with your tastes and current mood for reading. Author's Reputation and Reviews Look into the author's reputation and past works. This could give you insight into their writing style and storytelling abilities. For a nuanced view, seek out both professional critiques and reader reviews. Balancing expert opinions with the experiences of everyday readers can provide a well-rounded perspective on the book's potential impact and enjoyment factor. Reviews can often reveal details about the plot's pacing, character development, and emotional depth without spoiling the narrative. Consider the Edition and Format Books are available in various formats—hardcover, paperback, eBook, and audiobook—and each format has its own advantages. Hardcovers are durable but usually pricier, while paperbacks are lighter and often more affordable. eBooks provide convenience and portability for on-the-go readers with digital devices, and audiobooks offer the unique benefit of being able to listen to the story, which is especially beneficial for busy individuals or those with visual impairments. Decide which format would best suit your lifestyle and reading habits. Assess the Quality of Writing Quality of writing is paramount. Skim through the first few pages to get a sense of the writing style; this might include the level of complexity in language use, the narrative voice, and the initial pace of the book. Many booksellers and online platforms allow you to preview sections before buying. Use this feature to determine whether the book's prose captivates you or if the dialogue flows naturally. You want to ensure that the author's literary execution matches your expectations. Investigate the Pricing and Availability Check various retailers for the best deal on "Trial by Fire: A Novel." Prices can vary between brick-and-mortar bookstores and online vendors. Don't forget to explore second-hand bookshops or libraries for a more budget-friendly option. It's also useful to check if the book is readily available or if there are wait times, especially if you're planning to read it for a book club or need it by a certain date. For digital copies, compare prices across platforms like Kindle, Nook, or Google Books. Utilize Reading Communities and Book Clubs Engage with online reading communities or local book clubs to gather opinions from those who may have already read "Trial by Fire: A Novel." These forums can offer valuable insights and aid you in making an informed purchase decision. They can also alert you to any content warnings or trigger points that might affect your enjoyment of the book. Furthermore, book club discussions can extend your understanding and appreciation of the book after reading it. Check for Awards and Acknowledgments Examine if the book has received any literary awards or acknowledgments, as these can be indicators of a high-quality, impactful read. Accolades from respected institutions or being part of recognized book lists can signify professional validation and can be a testament to the book's overall merit and cultural significance. By taking the time to consider these factors, you can select "Trial by Fire: A Novel" with confidence, ensuring it meets your literary needs and offers a fulfilling reading experience. FAQ for Trial by Fire: A Novel Book Review Who is the author of "Trial by Fire"? The author of "Trial by Fire" is Josephine Angelini. What genre does the book belong to? "Trial by Fire" is a novel that falls within the fantasy and young adult genres. Is "Trial by Fire" part of a series? Yes, "Trial by Fire" is the first book in the Worldwalker trilogy. What is the main theme of "Trial by Fire"? The main

theme of the book revolves around parallel universes and witchcraft, focusing on personal growth, power, and the choices between good and evil. Can "Trial by Fire" be read as a standalone novel? While "Trial by Fire" sets up the story for the subsequent books in the Worldwalker trilogy, it can be read as a standalone novel. However, the story's continuation may leave readers wanting to read the following installments for complete closure. Is "Trial by Fire" suitable for younger readers? "Trial by Fire" is intended for young adult readers. It may contain some complex themes and fantasy violence, so it is recommended for teenagers and above. How long is the book? The length of "Trial by Fire" can vary depending on the edition, but it generally ranges around 400 pages. Is there a movie adaptation of "Trial by Fire"? As of the last update, there is no movie adaptation of "Trial by Fire." The novel remains a literary work without a film version. Where can I purchase a copy of "Trial by Fire"? "Trial by Fire" can be purchased at most book retailers, including brick-and-mortar bookstores, online bookstores, and digital platforms that sell e-books. Are there any trigger warnings I should be aware of before reading "Trial by Fire"? "Trial by Fire" includes themes of witchcraft, fantasy violence, and mild romantic elements. Readers sensitive to these topics may want to approach with caution. Has "Trial by Fire" received any literary awards? As of the current information available, "Trial by Fire" has not received any major literary awards. However, it has been well-received by fans of the genre and has garnered a positive following. In conclusion, "Trial by Fire: A Novel" offers an enthralling blend of drama, emotion, and resilience that will captivate readers from start to finish. This book stands as a shining example of storytelling, where characters are brought to life through vivid descriptions and their compelling journeys of self-discovery and triumph over adversity. With its intricate plot and thought-provoking themes, the novel invites readers to consider the depths of human strength and the power of redemption. Not only does "Trial by Fire" serve as a testament to the author’s ability to weave a resonating tale, but it also offers valuable insights into the human spirit. It challenges readers to reflect on their own beliefs and the choices they would make when faced with seemingly insurmountable obstacles. Additionally, the author's attention to detail and rich world-building ensures that this book is not just a literary escape, but an immersive experience. For those seeking a story that combines heart-pounding action with emotional depth, "Trial by Fire" is an exceptional choice. Whether you are a fan of the genre or simply in search of a book that will keep you engaged and reflective long after turning the last page, this novel is a worthy addition to your reading list. The insights and benefits gleaned from this riveting tale make it a must-read and undoubtedly, a book that will be talked about for years to come. Other Trial by Fire: A Novel Book Review buying options

[sweetsweetazzy]

My s/i Lore (Enstars Edition)

I finally made picrews for all of my s/is so yayyyy

Ryu Sakuma (he/it)

Rei and Ritsu Sakuma's brother. He isn't an idol or a producer, he instead helps with various behind the scenes work, such as: costume design, sewing, securing venues, promotions, and last-minute preparations. He mostly works with UNDEAD and Crazy:B, but also does some work with Knights and fine, as well as working once or twice with other units that reach out to him.

As a child, Ryu was always sheltered, both literally and metaphorically. He spent most of his days in his room and spoke very little to others, even his family. Even now, he does not speak much to others, though when he does speak, he does so in a very polite tone. He is not quick to anger or disappointment or joy.

Ryu does have a bit of an attitude, however, and carries himself with a certain air of arrogance, yet he is also humble and subservient. He loves to dress in fancy gothic / lolita-esque clothes, and he often crossdresses. He owns many beautiful dresses, skirts, corsets, and stockings. Because of this, he is often mistaken for a girl, which he doesn't mind but will usually correct anyways.

He lives with Rinne and Niki in their apartment now. There's only two beds because there isn't adequate space for three, so Ryu usually sleeps with Rinne, or he takes Rinne's bed and makes him sleep on the couch or in Niki's bed. Niki does most of the housework and Ryu is the one who goes shopping when they need to stock up. Rinne doesn't really help out around the house, but he makes up for it by gambling his money away! Neither of them mind because they love him.

It was actually Rinne and Ryu who got together first. Before then, Niki was in a weird gray area of being Rinne's non-romantic non-platonic malewife. After Rinne got a boyfriend, Rinne admitted his feelings for Niki and they officially got together.

Ryu's relationship with his brothers is loving, but distant. He doesn't speak much with them, but he enjoys their company. Rei and Ritsu's strain on their own relationship has deeply affected Ryu's relationships with them. He doesn't want to choose sides, so over time, he has distanced himself from them the same way they did from each other. He secretly longs to spend time with them like they used to, but he has accepted what their relationship is.

He gets along well enough with the other members of Crazy:B because of his relationship with Rinne. Kohaku didn't like him at first, but as time has gone on, they've come to mutually tolerate each other. HiMERU doesn't show much interest in Ryu, but HiMERU is always friendly towards Ryu. In turn, Ryu developed something of a crush on HiMERU. He gets awkward and shy when speaking with HiMERU, and this seems to amuse HiMERU to an extent.

Despite his weakening relationship with Rei, he has a good relationship with the members of UNDEAD. They like being around Ryu, and he hangs out with them a lot.

Wataru is Ryu's best friend, trusted companion, and confidante. Should anything happen, Wataru is always the first to know. He has shared all of his secrets with him and calls upon him for help when he's in a cinch and can't turn to anyone else. Wataru is the only person who he allows himself to be completely vulnerable around and does not worry about judgment from.

Ryu has always had a fascination with Valkyrie as a unit, and this fascination turned into a crush on Valkyrie's leader, Shu Itsuki. He liked to watch Shu Itsuki from afar and write down things in a special journal about him, everything from gushing to observations to simple thoughts about him. Shu Itsuki knows Ryu watches him and sometimes follows him around, and Ryu knows he knows. Shu Itsuki doesn't really mind. They never interact with each other.

A more recent crush of his is Tori, who also happens to be the person Ritsu has been pursuing. Ritsu and Tori aren't in a relationship yet, but it's only a matter of time. Ryu isn't bothered by this, as he has Rinne, and he knows he would never end up in a relationship with his beloved Tori. So he's content with Ritsu dating Tori and him watching and supporting his brother.

Besides those he's close to and cares about, Ryu doesn't interact with others unless it is on a professional level (or when Rei tries to push him to be more social). He is quick to compare himself with his brothers and feel inferior, hence why he did not pursue an idol career.

[inthemelancholymoonlight]

From September 28, 2020:

I want to talk about the contrast between Lucy and Cedric's core fears: water and fire, respectively.

Lucy is terrified of water, specifically drowning. While this is due in part to a near-death experience in the ocean as a child, I think this fear says a lot about who she is as a person as well. In the wizarding world, werewolves are seen as monsters, even though they are really only dangerous for a single night once a month and wolfsbane potion exists that removes the danger entirely. Lucy's fear of water mirrors what she fears most about herself — she's constantly worried that the monster within her will pull the parts of herself she likes beneath the surface, too, never to be seen again. She fights to keep her humanity and her lycanthropy as separate as possible, but in the same way that water is literally always a part of us physically, Lucy can't run away from her condition. (Because, trust me, she would if she could.)

In contrast, Cedric is terrified of fire; specifically, uncontrolled fire, such as that of a dragon or an accidental fire like at the Quidditch Cup. Because he has no directly fire-related trauma the way Lucy has water-related trauma, this fear reveals even more about Cedric's personality than Lucy's fear reveals about her personality. Amos Diggory's expectations of his son have demanded excellence - dare I say perfection. And Cedric, bless him, rises to the challenge every single time. Cedric's life has been one of control, both self-control and his father's control, so it's only natural that he fears the brainless destruction fire can bring if left unchecked. I think that his popularity at school plays into his fear of fire as well.

I think that, deep down, Cedric is afraid of not holding up to everyone else expectations, were he to be completely exposed and vulnerable to metaphorical fire, whatever that may be. I think that, at least in my story, he's hesitant to participate in the Triwizard Tournament because he's afraid of being exposed as a fraud... which everyone will point out to him is completely RIDICULOUS because he is in fact an extremely talented wizard.

It's been hard trying to reason to myself why Cedric Diggory would want to participate in the Triwizard Tournament. I was tempted to pin this all on Amos Diggory. I was tempted to have his father guilt him into doing it or threaten him into doing it, but I soon realized Lucy would never stand for that. I knew that, in the end, submitting his name to the Goblet of Fire needed to be Cedric's decision, and it needed to be a decision his loved ones could support. I think that, if Cedric decides that he's ready to subject himself to the fire he's spent his life trying to hide from, he'd have the support of everyone who loves him. I don't want to give Amos Diggory the satisfaction of being the reason his son decides to enter the Triwizard Tournament. I want Cedric to be the one who calls the shot, after 17 years of his dad calling the shots for him.

And I know. I'm sorry. This is breaking my heart too. But I think it needs to be done. I need Lucy to have something good to cling to after everything has come to pass. I need everyone to see Cedric the way I do, at least in my story. I need everyone to see Cedric Amos Diggory as a boy who tragically lost his life in the pursuit of claiming it for himself. And I want him to be more than a martyr, more than a figurehead everyone rallies around. I want Cedric, my version of Cedric, to be a character complex and authentic and endearing enough to both celebrate and mourn as the events of the next several chapters come to pass.

...but more on the Triwizard to come later. I really wanted Lucy and Cedric to have opposite fears to show the way they balance each other out. Lucy IS fire. I associate fire with Gryffindor, and I actually go into detail about this idea in Chapter 2 when she says, "When given a place to burn safely, fire glowed brightly and happily, sharing light and warmth as long as fuel — or magic — kept it alive, until it contentedly settled into embers and gave the last of its life before dwindling into darkness and cold. So, I supposed, was the life of a Gryffindor." This type of controlled fire doesn't scare Cedric, and he'd never do anything to extinguish the fire in Lucy's heart or in her eyes. But sometimes, Lucy's fire spills over, as we see whenever she's emotional. She gets angry, she gets hysterical, she gets self-destructive. THIS fire is what Cedric balances out.

Where Lucy is fire, Cedric is water. I know Hufflepuff's element is usually earth, but I wanted Cedric to be water, too. Steady like the earth, but adaptable like water. A foundation for Lucy to rely on, but also someone who can change to meet her needs in an instant.

And for what it's worth, Cedric needs Lucy's fire, too. She certainly keeps his life interesting, but beyond that, she teaches him that it's okay to be emotional. Her condition ingrains empathy into every fiber of his being, because he's the only person in the Diggory family who really truly takes care of her in that way. And hey, in canon, he's not at the Burrow very much; because of Lucy, he gets to experience more of the Weasley fun. As much as Lucy depends on her brother, Cedric needs Lucy, too. She brings fun to his life, something I suspect is lacking in canon based on what little we see of Cedric's father-son relationship. Because... yikes, the canon there is honestly kind of disturbing to me, as someone whose parents are similarly obsessive when it comes to my accomplishments yet know nothing of emotional sensitivity.

BUT. One important thing I wanted to show with their relationship is that they both recognize that fire and water both have purposes BECAUSE OF EACH OTHER. Sure, Lucy is terrified of water, but she knows she can turn to Cedric when she needs comfort because his metaphorical water balances out her metaphorical fire. Sure, Cedric is terrified of fire, but he knows that without Lucy, his life could very well be cold and lifeless and predictable, as water can be without a little something to direct it otherwise.

[cassyapper]

okay so i’ll refine this later (ie add sources and such) with my video essay/essay post whatever it ends up being but let me say this now i think the lover’s arc is like the foundation of the bond kakyoin and jotaro had and here is why

jotaro is a character KNOWN for his independence streak araki himself says jotaro is very much a lone wolf kinda character. he hates relying on others he hates not being able to cover all of his own bases he hates being vulnerable and not being in control

but in the lover’s arc, that’s exactly what happens. he isn’t in control and he can’t get back into control using his usual methods (ie attack the stressor until they tap out or die). jotaro has no plan and he’s scared, he is literally shaking in the anime and manga, and he’s so angry because he’s never been in this kind of position before

but then kakyoin takes the lead, kakyoin runs with joseph and eventually polnareff gets up on the uptake and follows, and the last thing kakyoin tells jotaro before turning the corner is just to basically distract steely dan -- make sure he doesnt cause joseph even more pain

and suddenly jotaro is able to swallow the humilation and fear and anger of the situation he’s in. why? because he trusts kakyoin. he trusts kakyoin to care of his grandfather. i could definitely be wrong, but i do not remember another instance in which jotaro trusted a loved one to someone else completely, with him not even being around to supervise in case something goes wrong (except for maybe jolyne’s mom with, well, jolyne, but he does give her the stand arrow piece to use if necessary which might undermine that trust depending on the interpretation). he’s able to relax and stop shaking because he knows joseph is in good hands. capable hands. hands that arent his, but reliable all the same.

and not only that, jotaro trusts kakyoin to save he himself as well. he knows steely dan is going to attack him, especially when the lovers gets kicked out of joseph and he’s free to go fucking ham on steely dan, he knows steely dan will do anything, no matter how slimy, to get out of the situation once it goes south, including and not limited to killing jotaro. but jotaro trusts kakyoin to save him should that happen -- and kakyoin does. hierophant is looped around the lovers the whole time and stops steely dan from stabbing jotaro/hurting the little girl. jotaro’s been saved by other people before/will be saved by other people, but he was just so confident in kakyoin’s ability. he never doubted for a second kakyoin’s ability to not only keep his loved ones safe, but keep he himself safe as well. jotaro, a character trademarked by his independence and aloofness, trusted and relied on kakyoin in this instance and kakyoin delivered. just. do you understand why this is so integral so their relationship and friendship

kakyoin is one of the only people jotaro could trust this way if not the ONLY person he ever trusted this way, and kakyoin, a character who appreciates being seen as useful and reliable, knows this and delivers and it jsut. man i jsut. they cared about each other so much. jotaro was willing to let go and put himself and joseph in kakyoin’s hands, and kakyoin was more than happy to catch him (metaphorically) and make sure that trust was justified. just. do you understnad now. do you understand

anyway lovers arc does more for jotakak than any other arc in the show despite them not even being near each other for the duration of it and it drives me fucking insane you guys

[palimpsessed]

Hey. You post a lot of great stuff about Carry On. Can you talk about the biting in AWTWB. The Baz/Simon scenes.Trying to wrap my head around it to understand why Simon did that. Why he bites Baz and keeps biting. Bites his fangs through his cheek. Is it because Simon wants to be bitten? That he wants Baz so much and Baz can't be harmed? I'm really trying to understand it but . . . what do you think?

Anon, thank you for this ask, and also for liking whatever I'm doing on my blog.

Can I talk about the biting? You bet I can!

Why does Simon bite Baz? Is it because he wants to be bitten? In a word, yes! But of course, there's a lot more to it than that. And this went off in another direction than I thought it would, so I hope you can stick with me on this journey! Under the cut because it’s a bit long.

There is a motif running throughout the trilogy of love being a consuming force. So much of Simon and Baz's identities are tied up in hunger very early on: Baz, as a vampire, constantly craving blood; Simon, as the Humdrum, constantly sucking up magic; both of them starved of love and intimacy. There's also a lot of fire imagery, going all the way back to when they first met, and fire is another consuming force.

Simon and Baz are obsessed with each other. The only thing they think about is each other. ("Trying not to think about you…S'like trying not to think about an elephant that's standing on my chest.") They are consumed and they want to consume, and, at least in Simon's case, they want to be consumed.

In WS, Simon reflects on misunderstanding his feelings for Baz prior to eighth year, and the way he does it has always stuck out to me: "I thought about him all the time. I missed him so much in the summer. (I thought I was just lonely. I thought I was hungry. I thought I was bored.)" The second item on that list is what catches my attention. Simon missed Baz and he thought he was hungry. I think it says a lot about how Simon's love for Baz feels if he mistakes it for actual hunger.

In the biting scene you mentioned, Simon says to Baz: "If it were me, if I were you…I'd drain you fuckin' dry, Baz, and it still wouldn't be enough." That's intense. And it's absolutely Simon. We know how much hunger he's capable of; his hunger was so potent, it became a whole other being! I've long maintained that his hunger for magic is a metaphor for his hunger for love. Because Simon is so full of love, and just utterly bereft of people to give it to, and once he has people to love, he doesn't know how to do it without also hurting them. He's never had good relationship modeling. (He thinks Baz should know he loves him because of how many things he's killed for him.—He thinks about teaching Baz how to break someone's neck like it's a fun couples' activity.—He gets turned on by killing things and watching Baz kill, too.—Date night is helping Baz hunt down rats.) Simon is a mess. He wants to love so badly, but he just doesn't know how to do it. ("Is this what people do?")

Simon loves Baz so much, he can't fathom ever getting enough of him. Ever being able to consume enough of him. He can't stop biting and smelling and grabbing because he wants more, more, more. He fits his teeth over Baz's old scars because he needs to claim him—make his own mark on Baz, possess him.

Part of this, as you said, is the fact that Baz is a vampire. Baz can take the roughness (which is not to say that he should just because he can). Simon's fixation on Baz's vampirism, which used to play out as paranoia, has changed into a desire to be bitten. Simon is thinking about Baz's vampirism, thinking about draining Baz dry if he were the vampire, and Baz, the human.

The other part of this is that Simon is unfettered, but really only in the aggressive, physical sense. He's long hidden his desires behind aggression without realizing that's what he was doing. (In CO: "I just want to run him down and knock him over and figure it all out." In AWTWB: "I wanted to jump on you, I didn't really think past that.") He doesn't know how to be unfettered in the vulnerable, emotional sense, and that's what keeps him from being able to be intimate with Baz. ("I don't know how, Baz…To get enough.")

Simon desperately wants to have sex with Baz. Which is what he's trying to do in the biting scene, but all of his desires are warring for control, and he can't sort out what he wants, and what he should be doing in that moment, with Baz.

What this is all leading me to may be a bit off topic, but I think it's all tied up in Simon's head.

Simon doesn't know how to be gentle.

His hunger and his desire for Baz have never been gentle. It's aggression, it's violence, it's possession; it's a forest fire, it's not a hidden waterfall.

Simon has never learned how to be at peace. In a recent interview with Vanity Fair, Rainbow said she made Simon "fight of flight"—literally, he has wings! There's a reason that Simon couldn't handle the inaction at the beginning of CO and before the events of WS. There's a reason that Penelope thought that they were "being lulled" because there was no war actively being waged. There's a reason Penelope tells us in WS: "Lesson learned: Relaxation is the most insidious humdrum." These are characters who are so traumatized by childhoods being foot soldiers in a war waged by the adults they trusted, they don't know how to live without fighting! They don't know how to live in peace.

We all have "I can touch you less gently, but I won't love you less kindly" burned into our eyeballs by now, but let's move earlier in that conversation to what sparks this: "What if I asked you to be less kind to me?" —What if I asked you to be less kind to me?— Simon doesn't feel comfortable with Baz's kindness or gentleness, because it "makes me feel like I'm being turned inside out. Like I need to get away." Let's sit with this for a bit. Baz's loving touches make Simon want to run because they're kind and gentle and he doesn't know what to do with kind and gentle. His mind isn't programmed for kind and gentle.

It makes complete sense that Simon would show Baz affection in a way that Simon understands, considering, as I said before, that he hasn't had anyone in his life to show him a healthy way to do this. What does Simon most want from Baz? Love. What does Simon understand love to be? Consumption. He wants roughness and aggression, he wants the inferno, because these are things he understands.

Simon wants Baz's teeth, so he gives Baz his teeth.

This is how Simon feels comfortable. I made this post while processing my feelings about AWTWB. It talks about Simon trying to love Baz the way he wants to be loved, and Baz trying to love Simon the way he wants to be loved. They want to give each other everything, but they haven't actually communicated their needs to one another, and that's what keeps them from being able to work through their problems. It isn't until they voice their needs that they're able to be intimate. This is what I'm really trying to get at here.

"Is this what people do?" Simon asks, over and over again. When Simon was in therapy, he learned a technique to break up "life into bites you can swallow". He tells us he's doing this again in AWTWB "because [the future] is too terrifying. Too uncertain. There are parts of it that are too bright." —There are parts of it that are too bright.— Simon doesn't know how to be happy. He doesn't know how to cope with happiness. "Is this what people do when they're in love? Do they just keep touching and talking? And then what? Like what is it all leading to? I don't mean sex, I mean… If I knew what I meant, it wouldn't be so frightening." When Simon is having all these overwhelming feelings about his future with Baz, they're on the Tube, and Simon sees a guy giving him and Baz "a dirty look". He interrupts his introspective on therapy to tell us that he wants the guy to cause trouble "because I would dearly love to punch something right now. That's a decision I could wrap my brain around." He can wrap his brain around punching someone, but not around a bright future with the man he loves.

Simon doesn't know how to be at peace. He doesn't know how to be in love. He doesn't know how to be happy. I think this is what we're seeing at play when he bites Baz. He wants something so badly, but he doesn't know what it is, can't articulate it, can't get at it. In a way, when he bites Baz, Simon is trying to ask for what he wants, without words, and without really knowing what it is that he does want.

He can't figure out how to let himself be happy and feel good while being happy. He can't stand gentleness, or softness. In his head, he can't give that to Baz, because he can't handle it himself.

So, yes, Simon bites Baz because he wants to be bitten. And he bites Baz because he knows Baz can handle it. And he bites Baz because there's an emptiness inside of him that he's still trying to fill, and he doesn't understand how to do that. Someday, he will fill it. He and Baz are going to figure that out together.

I hope this makes sense. With your indulgence, Anon, I'm going to tag in @theflyingpeach who is all around brilliant, and I know has their own thoughts about this scene (and demon Simon 👀👀👀) that I would like to see more of. 🥰

A follow up to this ask can be found here.

Further reading on the relationship between consumption, food, and love compiled here.