#it's about the Fear of being Known and being loved despite it yk....

[seoafin]

just wanted to say thank you for blessing us with "nail in the coffin" i want to wrap that fic up in a warm blanket and put it in my pocket forever it literally broke my heart and mended it all at the same time ;-; i will always always adore how you write gojo but the way you write suguru.....is Just Something to me idk <3 his first kiss w/ mc in rip 2 my youth altered the chemistry of my brain honestly….also the fact the the 🇵🇭 got mentioned in nitc had me like: https://i.imgflip.com/4spbxp.gif 🫡

ahhhhhh you're more than welcome <3 im not going to lie. i saw those panels of a shirtless kenjaku and straight up thought i was going to die. like im sorry i know he was abusing women (yuki you're still my number one) but i was so distracted i just couldn't pay attention to anything else

i lived in a SEA country for a couple of years when i was younger so i loveeeeee filipino desserts!!!! like nanami wanted to retire in malaysia so i just feel like gojo and philippines would vibe

[whoisthispersonwow]

Hello people of tumblr! :)

I am not used to using this app but I thought i would give it a shot as the fandom works featured here are straight up the best things i've found on the internet, and the community seems just AMAZING on all regards!!! So I thought, yk, that I would share my ideas for this AU fic that perhaps maybe I would write sometimes...... idk....

Actor Bucky x Model Buck

Set in the 90s, this AU follows this rough outline : despite the 90s being a time of counterculture for the youth, (grunge, alternative movies being pushed forward and towards larger audiences) and being out of the 80s and all it entails (glam rock and so on) there was this paradoxally reinforced idea of masculinity (leather jackets, men having to be "strong", etc.) and lattent ideas of homosexuality being a "bad, filthy thing" in some places, interlinked with the misinformations concerning the HIV epidemic (if you're gay, you'll get AIDS, you'll die in a few months, all this stuff), which causes the Bucks have to hide their relationship from the public in fear of retaliation and backlash.

Buck is a male model, in a decade in which supermodels are emerging, and put on a pedestal : it's a decent job for him, despite not being a Claudia Schiffer or a Kate Moss (as female models, especially in that decade, were getting paid way more than male models, and overall just represented couture houses more than men did.). People know his face, he's had a few campaigns, but it's not enough to make him one of the A-list celebrities, not that he minds. He's slimmer than what is the norm for male models, but compensates it with his face : it is his strength as much as his weakness concerning bookings. He is known by his peers as this wise and generally kind man, not overly flairy as people can sometimes be in their industry, and overall very discreet about his personal life. He is extremely professional, a master of his craft that knows exactly what is expected of him at any time.

Bucky, on the other hand, is an actor. Freshly discovered among the rest of a new generation of actors, he climbs steadily and surely his way to the top, and has people from all over the USA watching his career with interest. He acts in movies which in our timeline would feel like "The Matrix" ; "Trainspotting" ; "Fight Club", and all of those sorts of very "mainstream yet still posessing their bit a flair" movies. He's extending his choices and taking more risks, ones that could perhaps lead him to great rewards (not that he is especially looking for it : Bucky would be content to act in a short movie by a middle schooler if it was done with love and passion.) Charming, bubbly, he is loved by many of teenage girls (and others, ofc :p). Everyone has a story about Bucky, be it good or bad. "Oh yeah, he bought me a car when mine broke down" says a make-up artist on a set. "He got so drunk he forgot I was here and punched me square in the face when i got up to pee" says his friend Curt Biddick.

(i made an ugly ass moodboard for the vibes)

-> now i'm gonna dump random infos for no particular reasons

TW : mentions of drugs, alcohol, homophobic cliches.

-They met at a party/gala of some sort for a brand, for which Buck modeled and Bucky was ambassador : it didn't click right away, but closely enough for it to feel like fate played a part in it.

-Buck is kind of excluded during parties as he's fully sober, whether it's from drugs or alcohol : a rarity, in the modeling world, and often not a welcome one.

-Bucky on the other hand, is a bit too much of a party monster : he drinks a lot, perhaps snorts a little cocaine in the bathroom, takes a little speed... Which GREATLY concerns Buck.

-Bucky is as cocky in his confidence and his career as he fears (and represses A LOT) the possibility of everything tumbling down and just going back to being nobody (THIS MAN NEEDS TO BE LOVED BY EVERYONE)

-He's terrified that fame will change him, that he will become a parody version of himself, that people will only know and like the version of himself he presents them and nothing else, not seeing his worth as a person, as an individual of flesh and feelings.

-Between the two of them, he's the one who desperately wants to tell the general audience about their relationship, not caring about the consequences, because in his eyes, love is love, and there sure as hell ain't nothing wrong with loving Gale Cleven, and people should know that he loves him, that they love each other, that they're a pair, that life only ever feels complete when they stand side by side, hanging in each other's orbits. They sometimes argue over this.

-Buck, on the other hand, wishes for their relationship to stay a secret, as he fears if it was to be known, it would taint Bucky's image, this very manly, confident and suave man, mingle it with dumb cliches (in a gay couple one is a "Folle" and the other has to be effeminate, because they're like GIRLS yk) and that it would basically ruin his career, tarnish his talent and hard work, get him blacklisted from most studios/directors and only perhaps offered type-casted roles in homophobic movies written by straight men. Buck could not stand seeing the love of his life being disgraced in the public's eyes, just because of some dumbass cliches, because of his love for him.

-Marjorie (Marge) covers for Buck. She's his front : They are seen dining together and huddling on benches by paparazzis, giggling and talking as they walk in the street, and that's enough. Their story makes people dream, these two young people who grew up together and fell in love, still a couple until this day, still loving each other as much as they did on the first day... They are a lavender couple (when both member of a relationship are queer, and use their couple to cover any suspicions) which helps making Buck and Bucky seem like just buddies. Marjorie is most likely not famous, or if so, she'd be more of a writer than anything else.

-Bucky is EXTREMELY jealous and FUMES whenever he cannot kiss Buck in public, touch him, do his little Bucky things, make Buck feel his. Despite that, he's sort of reckless and allows himself gestures that would not fly were the two men not viewed as pinacle of masculinity and a great example of brotherly love. Buck can't even bring himself to ressent him for it, and does not hold it against him : he too wishes they could hold hands on red carpets.

-Bucky is basically a disaster waiting to happen at some point, a pressure cooker dangerously whistling : he bottles everything he feels, just grits his teeth and says he's fine when dark times arise, drowns himself in alcohol and wishes to forget about his worries, thinks about simpler times when he had none at all. Gale stays by his side, no matter what, no matter his terrifying relationship with alcohol and the memories of his father.

-They live together, despite the risks : Buck couldn't bear having to say no to Bucky when he bought their appartment with a huge check from the royalties he earned over his first blockbuster. It is approprietly cozy : most of the decorum is Buck's doing, but Bucky's things still find their ways in there ; baseball posters, pictures, awards and silly little drawings on stick-it notes... It feels like home, to both of them.

-They probably have bought some sort of ranch or farm, somewhere, to run away from the city when things get crazy : they bask reverently in the fact that there, nothing they do or say matters, watching the sunsets on their patios, enjoying the melody of nature without any civilization.

That's pretty much it for now, I'll most likely add things later! :D I'm begging you to excuse any mistake I made, i'm just a poor French person trying her best. Don't hesitate to tell me how you feel and stuff, I am so nervous to make this post you can't imagine lmaoo

To end things, I guess I'll just post an extract of a wip, a written transcription of a fake interview Bucky probably had on some talk show!!! :]

[milliesfishes]

so yk how there has been a lot of you or your kid getting kidnapped WHAT IF instead, it was Billy or Coryo that got kidnapped and like you want to go out and hunt down those who would even THINK about taking your man away from you but like maybe you can't because you have your daughter to take care of or you have other responsibilites

just didn't know if anyone has thought of this yet but anyways I LOVE YOU SM MILLIE ❤️❤️❤️ !! KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!!!

omg I love you!!!!! this is so sweet, please rp with your own thoughts on it if you want to! ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚𝓫𝓲𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝓲𝓼 𝓴𝓲𝓭𝓷𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓭⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ 𝓯𝓮𝓶 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻 𝔁 𝓫𝓲𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓴𝓲𝓭

He was taken.

Those are the words emerging from the mouth of one of Billy's men, the words you're hearing. But they are some of the last ones you've ever wanted to hear.

You nearly drop the baby perched on your hip, stunned into stiffened pose. The man before you appears nervous, and you thank him for delivering the information before retreating inside the house.

In your husband's line of work, danger lurked around every corner, breathed down the necks of everyone he loved. It revealed itself in the form of men with sneers painted on their lips, in anxieties whispered into your ear late in the throes of the night by your lover. Though he was the picture of a fearless protector, he was scared.

Billy's fear never was directed at himself. No, he only sook to protect you, you and your daughter named for his mother. The arrival Kathleen, Kat as he called her, had only heightened his protective instincts, spurring them into action.

Your home was a location of utmost secret, known only by a select few of his gang when it was absolutely necessary. He guarded you and your daughter under lock and key, determined to keep you hidden from any sign of danger even hinting in your direction.

But he hadn't been attentive enough toward himself. And now your stomach was plummeting as you imagined Billy bound and gagged in a dark location, gun removed from his side, blood spattering his face.

Kat babbled, tugging on a strand of your hair, and you looked down at her again, breaths shallow. She had dark hair just the same as Billy's, winding into stubborn curls. And her eyes... the color of forget-me-nots, just like his.

The one desire at the forefront of your mind was one to mount your horse and ride north, where the man had said your husband was being held. Under Billy's tutelage, you were proficient in gunslinging, and your small size was an advantage in a fight, he'd said.

With the amount of pain and passion you felt right now, taking on an army of a thousand men was child's play. For your love, the father of your child, there was hardly a thing you wouldn't do to see him return home safe. To be nestled in his arms soundly as he assured you that everything was okay.

But as you looked down at Kat, you knew you didn't have a prayer of leaving. Billy wouldn't want you to abandon your daughter to come running after him, no matter how much danger he was in. Having to choose between your husband and your daughter was an impossible road you hoped you would never be forced to venture down again.

For the rest of your waking hours, you did your best to stay distracted, entertaining Kat to the best of your ability and hiding any sign of fear or worry from her bright eyes. No need for you to know her beloved father was twisted in the web of fate once again, in a danger you could hardly imagine.

Putting her to bed, you kissed Kat goodnight, watching her sleepy eyes flutter shut, tiny fist clutching the corner of her favorite blanket. Turning around, you shut the door behind you, hand flying to your mouth as your eyes squeezed shut, tears escaping despite the motion. Stifling the awful sob you wanted to release, your chest tightened and horrifying thoughts played before your eyes in the form of images you prayed would never come to life.

Your Billy was strong and steadfast, and he was more than capable of handling himself. He'd done it all those years before settling down with you after all; gotten himself into life-threatening conundrums and emerging virtually unscathed.

What if this is the one time out of a hundred?

Stumbling to your bedroom, you were helpless once the door was shut, closing your own arms around yourself in an attempt at comfort and dissolving into tears. The way your body shuddered crescendoed into a quiet cry, eluding your attempts to keep quiet as not to disturb Kat. The last thing she needed was a desolate mother.

You had the foolish thought that maybe now that your baby was asleep you could make your way in Billy's direction, but it was quickly reasoned with. What if she woke up and needed you? What if you never came back?

Helplessly, you brought yourself over to the bed, collapsing into the warmth of Billy's side. His scent engulfed you, making it nearly plausible to pretend he was there. Beside you, about to sheath you in his arms and mutter that he'd been wanting to hold you all night.

Minutes disguised themselves as hours, tormenting you with the length of them. Every second was like squeezing honey from a bottle, watching the thick golden drops lazily make their way down the side, in no hurry to appear when you wanted them to.

Surely his gang had infiltrated where he was being held. And now they might be cutting his ropes, tossing him a gun and telling him to hurry on home. It was a childish fantasy. The rope of possibility had tendrils that wove into a thousand different destinies. The chances of everything happening your way were slim to none, and you braced yourself for news that he wasn't ever going to come back.

Any minute now the same bearer of bad news from earlier would return, hat both real and proverbially in his hand as he delivered information you could never be ready to hear. A series of thoughts about life without him revealed themselves, and you tried to push them aside. Sleeping alone beside his empty spot, raising Kat without him, telling her about her brave, kindhearted father whom the world misunderstood-

Loss overwhelmed your being, and you muffled your sobs in his pillow, determined only to cry in the darkness where your daughter's eyes would never find you.

You were unsure of how long it had been when you stopped. It was too dark to see the clock on the bedside, and your emotion had weakened you too much to check, anyways. Face sticky and damp with tears, you pulled the sheet up around your body in a gesture you hoped would be comforting. But the only thing that would truly calm you was tied up in a faraway unknown place.

Lost in the cavern of your discouragement, you allowed the cold, hardened fingers of grief drag you deeper into the depths. Though it was springtime, you knew without him life would be forever winter. The ghost of his memory would trail behind you like a second shadow with every one of your breaths. Kat would be the only thing to stop you from crawling beneath the earth to join him, his grave your new lover's bed.

Senses numbed, you were too long gone to hear the door open. But when warm fingers grazed your skin, you leapt up, whipping your head around and preparing yourself to attack whoever had broken in. There was a knife hidden in the bedside table that you were willing to use.

But the silhouette blurred by the night was familiar. You'd lost track of how many times you felt that touch, whether the intention be domestic or passionate. It was always loving.

Reaching over to the bedside, you fumbled for a match, striking it and holding the flame to the melted candle. Lifting the burning light, features revealed themselves as you moved it upwards. A time-worn gun belt, brown leather suspenders, dotted stubble...eyes bluer than the sky on a summer's day.

Lips parting in shock, you set the candle back down, hands moving of their own accord to cup his face. The prickle of his half-beard scratched at your soft palms, and his warmth exuded outward, drawing you in just as it always had.

"Billy..." you breathed, gasping in disbelief. Your fingers grasped at his face, as if checking to see if he wouldn't crumble under your fingers like some cruel vision.

His roughened hands came to your own cheeks, and your lower lip trembled, his next words a catalyst. "Oh, baby...baby 'm here."

You threw yourself into his arms, instantly surrounded by the warmth and love that could only come from being held like this by him. Home. He was home and this was home. All was right with the world.

"You're alive," you croaked into his chest, the sound and feel of his heartbeat a steady song proving he hadn't departed into the next realm yet. It nearly made you hysterical- the knowledge that Billy had been ripped from you and sewn back at your side within a day.

"I'm here my love," he promised, voice cracking barely as he buried his face in your hair. "I'll always come back to you...'m so sorry..."

"I wanted to come after you." Voice hitching at those words, you shuddered, your body's leftover tension from fear of his absence releasing. He was the one person in this life you could let your guard down with. "I wanted...but Kat..."

"Shh," Billy soothed, sitting down on the bed and keeping you right against him. His body began to rock back and forth, an immediate response to your distress. "You did exactly the right thing, darlin'. My brave girl...havin' to go through all this by yourself..."

"You were the one in danger," you whispered, lifting your head from the comfort of his chest. "And you...did you...?"

"Hush now," he murmured, hand petting over your hair in a way that melted you. "I'm here. I'm safe and I've gotcha again. That's all that matters."

There it was again. The protective streak, the curtain of iron that separated his two worlds. You did not press or ask further questions. Whatever his reasoning, it was likely for the best.

Billy gently positioned you to lie down before reaching below and tugging his boots off, kicking them aside. He stripped himself of his work clothes, and you imagined the state of them. Bloody, likely, dusty most definitely. Tomorrow you would scrub the substance from them and ignore the circumstances, merely happy he had come home.

The haven of his arms was yours once again as he crawled in behind you, kisses pressed to the back of your head as he settled. You knotted your hand with his resting on your stomach, filing the worries of tonight away where they wouldn't disturb you until the next morning.

Tucking his chin into the space between your neck and shoulder, Billy nosed a careful kiss into the space, his quiet last assurances echoing in your mind long after the words escaped his mouth.

"You're safe, my love. I'll keep you safe."

[hearted-anon]

i heard a little someone wanted ideas???

yk how a ton of the skz members have pets? maybe one of minho's cats or channie's berry just decides to slip under their shirt while theyre sleeping and accidentally tickles them awake while either one of them cant move too much because they dont wanna hurt their pets 🥺

we all know how fluffy berry is LJDUKEI

Puppy love

Words: 1125

Note: this was super fun to write

T/w: a bit rough, not a lot of tickles

Lee: Channie

Ler: Berry

Chan tossed him tiredly onto his bed, taking in deep breaths of his home. Oh how he missed Australia, his home, his love, his country. Cuddling his pillow, he couldn’t help but feel like he was missing something, missing someone to be exact. Just as on cue, the door creaked open, leaving a terrified Channie to scream his lungs out; he could’ve sworn no one would be home at this moment.

“W-Who’s there?!” The whimpering leader shouted, encasing himself in a pillow fortress like it would protect him from the upcoming threat that stood right at his door. Footsteps lightly thumped across the wooden floor, poor Chris too scared to even check for this unforeseen threat. Jumping onto the bed, he let out a blood-curdling cry when the bed dented even in the slightest bit. Uncovering himself for a split second with tears in his eyes, he was met with a ball of white and brown fluff that made his heart both drop and be lifted with relief.

“It’s just you Berry…wasn’t scared, wasn’t scared at all!” He panicked, softening up when his dear puppy waddled towards him in quick steps. Wiping away the beads of water that blurred up his vision, he picked up Berry with a small smile, happy to see at least he wasn’t lonely in the ventures of his home country. Berry wagged her tail in happiness at the feeling of seeing her owner once more, having only seen him performing and grinning so widely on screens that brought them so close but yet so far away, akin to another few kitties somewhere else.

“My baby!” Chan exclaimed, his smile so wide he swore his cheeks were about to snap in half. Watching his ‘daughter’ wag her tail so happily, panting ever so loudly for her ‘father’, he let out a squeal of happiness, nuzzling their noses together. As much as he loved his members, he could swear that nothing ever came close to his family, cuddling the pup like if he let go he’d already be back in Korea; albeit it wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.

After cuddling with each other for what felt like hours, despite being only less than thirty minutes, Chan felt his eyes begin to automatically shut, making him audibly whine; no one would see this embarrassing, petulant side of him anyway. He didn’t want to have to shut his eyes, despite it already being nine o’clock into the night. Although he knew that nothing can break their special bond, having known her since the day when they were kids, being apart for so long made him miss his pup more than anything.

“I just want all time to stop…and I’m never letting go if so.” He muttered softly, tears already welling up in his eyes again. Maybe it was the nostalgia or the homesickness, but ever since he had seen his dear pet he couldn’t stop crying, be it out of…fear, or pure ecstasy. Staring into the bright eyes that gazed right back at him, those same eyes that at times when he felt down or empty, she was always beside him, made him absolutely bawl into the pillow that provided a thin boundary between.

As if on cue, Berry seemed to notice the dip in her owner’s mood, unable to sense exactly what was causing this sudden outburst. Crawling out of his arms, which in fact made him pout just like a child, the puppy roamed around his body; contemplating on what to do to lift her owner’s spirits up, even if by a little bit. Slipping under his shirt, the pup got to work, rubbing herself all over Chan’s tummy, earning a loud squeal that pierced his sobs.

“B-Behehehrry! W-Wahahahit!” He begged, stamping his feet onto the sheets as a wide grin spread across his face. As much as her fur was going to drive him mad with giggles, he had no heart to push the pup away, he would feel much too guilty if he did so. Therefore, the bed was filled with a squirming Channie as he struggled not to move too much and throw Berry off him. Either way, she could sense that she was making quite the impact, wagging her tail happily…and into his belly button.

“AAHAHAHA! B-BERRY! PLEHEHEHASE!” Chan wailed through hysterics, not expecting the fluff in his navel to tickle that much, but it did anyway, and knowing that he couldn’t do anything about it made it just about ten times worse. Clutching the blankets for his life, his eyes once again squeezed shut in ticklish mirth, a white, pearly smile spread across his face through booming laughter. The pup simply woofed in joy, hearing her owner’s laugh was the only thing that managed to get through her, meaning she was a good pup! Bringing her paws to his sides, the scream that he let out was enough to egg her on, unfortunately.

“NO NO NO BERRY! PLEA- AAHAHAHAHA!” Even if he tried to beg, plead, he knew that she wasn’t human, neither would she get it. The pup kneaded her paws gently against his sides, he could feel the paw beans pressing against the smooth skin already. Tossing his head against the bed, he shook it rapidly, not sure how to deal with the sensations in his belly button and his sides. How was a puppy so good at tickling?! Slamming his fists onto the bed, he was holding back with everything he had not to carry Berry away, but it felt unbearable.

“BEHEHEHERRY! STAP! PLEAHAHAHA-!” With the last bits of air he could muster, he couldn’t believe he was stooping to the level of begging a dog to stop tickling him. At the hear of her name, the pup immediately went out of his shirt, sitting politely on his bed as the poor man plunged into silent laughter for a moment to catch his breath. His face reddened up, it dawned on him that he was tickled to tears, by his own pet. Feeling paws wipe at his tears messily, his smile melted into one that was genuine, bringing Berry in for a tight hug.

“I love you so much, Berry.” Chan muttered whilst snuggling his nose against hers, earning tiny little pants as her tongue stuck out excitedly. The sounds that remained were just Berry’s soft noises and the sounds of wind from the air conditioner, and finally, he was able to feel at ease heading to bed. No more did he think that Berry was going to disappear, no more did he feel upset at heading to bed. Letting his eyes close, his arms tightened around the pup, almost like a promise that he’ll love her plenty, who gladly accepted his embrace.

He hoped that this would never end for eternity.

[freezingmcxn]

love love love love loveeeee your au!!! it’s so creative and fun (not “fun” but yk)

are there any safe creatures in the forests? not just the normal animals but like spirits and other things are any of them safe to be around?

Elusive Creatures Of The Forests

(creepypasta au)

Some creatures are indeed safe, and the spirits of the forest are among the safest, even compared to most other creatures and people.

These are my original characters (OCs), so please credit me if you wish to use them. There are more creatures in development, but here are my favorites so far!

(Pics are from pintrest I do not own them!)

TRACTATORI’S

Tractatori’s are eerie, nocturnal creatures that have the stature of an average human but are distinguished by their faceless and opaque appearance.

Emerging only in the late hours of the night, they sustain themselves by feeding on the recently deceased, be it humans or animals.

Their unique feeding process involves meticulously removing the skin from the body, which they then wear as a means of absorbing its remaining energy.

This skin acts as their nourishment.

Despite their “dietary habits”, Tractatoris do not harm the living beings to obtain their food.

They are drawn to places where death has recently occurred, often leading to bodies found in the woods with their skin removed; a telltale sign of Tractatoris activity.

You are not likely to see one roaming in the woods but there’s always a chance. They get spooked by the presence of humans so they tend to react out of fear eg. Screaming and chasing people away.

ECHOS

Echos are the safest yet potentially most annoying beings of the forest, depending on the circumstances.

Invisible to the human eye but clearly audible, these entities are known for their unique ability to mimic and echo sounds from their surroundings (animal noises, forest sounds, people.. you get the idea)

This trait can be particularly irritating if you find yourself in a situation that requires you to hide or run from someone or something.

Echos inadvertently complicate such situations by repeating sounds made by others in the vicinity, such as an approaching threat.

This can cause confusion and lead you further into the forest, away from safety. Their actions are not malicious; it's simply in their nature to replicate any sound they hear.

As a result, you might occasionally hear your own voice echoed back to you.

GHOSTS/SPIRITS

In the forest, the air is thick with the presence of countless ghosts and spirits.

These beings, once human, now drift aimlessly among the trees. Despite their spectral forms, they have no ill will toward the living, maybe some jealousy but nothing violent.

Most keep to themselves, shying away from human interaction. A few are more playful, enjoying harmless pranks on unsuspecting travelers. Then there are those benevolent spirits who, driven by a lingering sense of duty or kindness, assist lost or troubled wanderers, hoping to prevent others from meeting the same fate they did.

The spirits can be befriended! They can assist you in some ways, it’s good to have someone to trust.

Sally, Lyra and Ben are the “creepypasta ghosts” in my au, in this post you can learn more about them!

LAVEES

In the forest, these tiny fairy-like creatures flit about, reminiscent of the fae.

Lavees are visible throughout the woods, but their brilliance truly stands out at night, often causing them to be mistaken for fireflies.

Shy by nature, they avoid human interaction, not because they are unfriendly, but because they lack the ability to speak.

Their behavior is similar to that of butterflies, with delicate, humanoid forms fluttering gracefully among the trees.

The Lavees sustain themselves by feeding on small insects and occasionally indulging in berries.

[gracimaep]

BRETT HEADCANNONS

‧⠀⠀⨯⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⁺⠀⠀ ✦⠀⠀ * 𓂂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⨯⠀⠀. ⁺ 　 .

these are coming from a 80s obsessed brett kin with diagnosed social anxiety, a weird relationship with my family, and a golden retriever complex so it's basically like he's telling you himself tbh !

‧⠀⠀⨯⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⁺⠀⠀ ✦⠀⠀ * 𓂂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⨯⠀⠀. ⁺ 　‧⠀⠀⨯⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⁺⠀⠀ ✦

• okay so first ones not really a headcannon but more just a detail that I feel like im the only one that remembers: brett plays guitar!!!!!!! maybe it was just my guitarist brain but I seen this in like the first episode and never forgot. he definitely will randomly pull out his guitar (like full on david cc style) and start playing like in the middle of like a meeting or some dumb shit. he probably plays down at like at some local Cafe or something on the weekends. all 80s too obviously

• brett loving the 80s definitely resulted in a lot of different more 80s ish themed hobbies/interest. Bowling, arcade games, roller skating yk shit like that

• he most definitely can break dance? obvs.

• i feel like music wise it would be a mix of 80s obvs but also like early 2000s since that around when he grew up. I honestly feel like it would also be really similar to patrick batemans music taste 💀 but definitely a lot of Whitney Houstin, Huey Lewis, Talking Heads, but also some Madona, Dave Matthew's (which was already mentioned in the show), Death Cab, The postal service, Lumineers, and Vance joy. I also get am receiving a very large Bee Gees presence in him.

• he definitely overthinks his suits a lot. he will put his all into perfectly selecting a suit and making sure everything about it is on point. it was definitely an anxiety thing that just turned into a habit over time

• speaking of the anxiety, he has a lot of shows—some obvious some not. For once the leg bouncing is definitely a thing; that's a given. But also counting, like literally anything, he will just count. and that finger digging thing?? you basically and kinda just like digging your thumb nail into your fingers??? I do it a lot and it's not like a sh thing I swear it's just an easy way to disperse negative energy when something kinda catches you off gaurd or whatever !!

•i feel like he would live in a really blank apartment: white walls, white sheets, white floors, minimal furniture—everything minimal. except for just a bunch of 80s posters everywhere. you walk into this man's apartment and you are met with micheal Jackson, jaws, Whitney Houston, breakfast club, back to the future, all that shit.

• he is a germaphobe. I can just feel it. Not really with physical contact—but more public spaces. He refuses to touch and door handles, railings, or anything unless there is a sink or hand sanitizer nearby. he probably just watched to much science shit from being left unattended when he was younger it its just built up a fear in him

• he tryst to get the gang to do ' team building activities ' like EVERY weekend. he does actually succeed sometimes. Such activities can include: twister, karaoke, board games / video games ( family game night 🤭 ) , disco parties. you get it.

• he is a horrible cook. he may have been left unattended but he still had plenty of butlers around to make him food thus removing the need to learn how to himself. he probably makes the worst concoctions known to man—like the shit you find on the lunch trays of feral middleschools that dare their friends to eat the mashed-potatoe-chocolate-milk-bannana-bean-taco-meat-old-hard-chelse kinda shit. we all have some horrific war flashback in mind. and he thinks he is a CHEF.

• despite that he probably makes really good smoothies!! being a gym trainer and everything he got really good at it and will craft the most heavenly shakes and smoothies to ever bless your tounge.

• ummmmmm love language physical touch who?? brett, that's who. not even romantically but he just loves physical contact. words are hard. hugs are not.

• he probably think he is like a Disney princess and is a friend to all animals and for the most part he is but bird are definitely his worst enemy I can 100% see him getting his ass bit by a goose or getting shit on by a duck while trying to feed it bread. reagan probably had to give him a lesson om why he shouldn't give ducks bread too. he cried when he found out why that's a no no.

• he surfs duh

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

i’m on vacation and i have a lot of free time and nothing excites me more these days than those two damn boys so i tried to do a thing last night: put their songs that i think that are related to their relationship in a order like songs that capture the euphoria and passion of the first everything, first kiss first love etc etc ‘i could do everything for you’ kind of thing (kill my mind, late night talking, adore you) & then the first issues, when you still love someone so so so much and he’s everything and you can’t live without but the issue exists and it’s there (golden), and it’s followed by a mix of the lack of communication, pride, fear, isolation by one (for all the losses) and the desperation and overthinking by another and the general pressure put on both (i picked satellite, two ghosts, meet me in the hallway) and, as you said here, "history about how we were apart for a bit, got fucked up, then realized we can't be apart for very long, as we always should've known really but i guess we're stupid, but anygays now we're happily at home, together" song (and i prefer to interpret this way too despite being hard to know) (headline, from the dining table, miss you, always you, walls, as it was) and then, finally, the kitchen conversation, where they want to be able to listen to each other and be vulnerable and have a mature conversation where they reaffirm how crazy they are for each other and want their relationship to work out (too young, defenceless, habit, lucky again, face the music) and then there’s it, they are firmly together, they’re each other home and it’s all worth it because together they’re better (sweet creature, all this time, we made it, the greatest) and the next and last leg of tracks it’s basically their domestic life, facing the issues being together, tasting the longing, joys, always inspiring each other and ready to give up everything for the loved one (daydreaming, canyon moon, daylight, little freak, written all over your face, sunflower vol6, love of my life, keep driving & grapejuice). i decided to share with you because i LIVE for your analysis and i always want to discourse about their lyrics and love❤️❤️❤️ and i know that’s nothing is linear and racional but putting in a order was fun and my messy brain says thank you !!

i love this <333 bc like you said at the end, it's just fun to find a storyline in it, and then i also love to scramble it all up. bc then when you have this and you start all over again it still makes sense. even years down the line there will be the same stupid little issues that were there at the start. or if you take this line and start zigzagging yk?? there's so much depth in their music and one of the true joys of going through the eras with them - basically growing up with them - is seeing how they handle their problems differently... or always the same way lol. sometimes a bitch never changes. in any case, it's been so wonderful to have them there while experiencing the same things, or to hear their perspective on love after knowing it deeply for so many years. and also to see their very human side and hear their pettiness or stubbornness, same as when they were 16 and 18. life is beautifully messy like that

[lalalian]

let’s talk students: aethergarde dr (dragon rider school dr)

date: july 21, 2024

In the last poll, Asterias Lancaster is winning by a lot! Let's talk about him today!

pronunciation:

Asterias: (Ass-teer-ee-as)

Lancaster: (Lan-cas-ter)

appearance:

Asterias has long white hair that goes down to his waist. His hair is unique because it's slightly blue; this trait made his family (including like his uncles, aunts, and grandparents) want him to become the heir of the family. More about this later!

His skin is paler than his younger brother's skin (Callisto Lancaster), and he has a sharp gaze. Like his brother, his eyes are a very light shade of blue. Asterias is also known for his height, as he stands at 6'4" at just 15 years old.

Many describe him to have an almost melancholic-like charm, he's the kind of guy that looks like he is always thinking of some sort of artsy... peculiar... idk like... academic... issue. Asterias' scent changes every so often, but when you shift here, his favorite perfume makes him smell like lavender and honey. He has a mole on his chest (like rafayel from love n deepspace.. hehe). Asterias has a sleeper build, so when he's relaxed, his figure is lithe and elegant.

He's one of those guys who has those really elegant, slightly red, slender hands.

Okay like I know these two pics give off a completely diff vibe, but like I genuinely can't choose between the two T-T Idk, I rlly think the 1st one fits his personality, but that second one dude omfgg🥵🥵🥵

In terms of style, he tends to prefer light colored colors. He often wears the typical male noble kind of clothing (in this DR it's considered typical) like suits. He sometimes wears long dresses; he usually likes to wear them to very very formal events (like anything involving visiting royalty). The dresses he wears usually look like something a cleric would wear or have military themes to them. He never wears super flashy dresses, they're all relatively minimalistic and aren't puffy at all; Asterias pretty much always wears boots.

personality:

Asterias is very cold, aloof, blunt, and kinda rude. Asterias only goes by Rias with people he's close to, unlike Miaene, he does actually have some friends despite his unsavory personality 😭😭😭

He's the kind of person that would ignore anyone who he isn't interested in talking to, but will actively (but subtly, he doesn't want to seem desperate) try to get closer to people he's itching to know (do be prepared to deal with this guy btw). I'm not even joking when I say that he will literally not even glance at you if you tried to speak to him (only if he doesn't want to get closer to you), the most he'll do is glare at you-- that is, if he did acknowledge you at all. With his friends he can be quite sarcastic, witty, and protective.

Asterias isn't a fan of being the center of attention... he's very introverted, and finds it draining to be mobbed by the many suitors who want to have a more defined relationship (if yk what i mean).

relationship and status:

Asterias has a very formal relationship with his parents. He sees them simply as his guardians, and doesn't feel much attachment towards them despite being the golden child of the family. He is very heavily favored by his entire family, including his grandparents, aunts, and uncles. The Lancaster family has always chosen the child with slightly light blue hair as the next heir, but a child hasn't had this trait in over 40 yrs. The entire family (besides for Callisto) puts a lot of pressure of Asterias to be the perfect heir; this has made him have quite the fear of his relatives, especially his grandparents. Asterias has social anxiety only at events where a lot of his family attends.

Despite Callisto's sour feelings surrounding his brother, Asterias, Asterias still feels that kinship between him and his younger brother. He will do things to make Callisto's life a little easier, like getting him a better weapon or restocking his supply of healing potions. He knows that Callisto doesn't like him (and the reasons why), but Asterias feels trapped within his own family. He doesn't know what to do to make the situation better, so he just goes along with the demands everyone makes of him.

Asterias' closest friend is Straus. Straus knows about his anxiety, and tries his best to help him out in any way he can, including buying him soothing tonics and making him calming perfumes.

likes and dislikes:

likes:

-doesn't want to admit it, but he's really into fashion

-tea making

-horse riding

-potion making, especially magic infused potions

-dishes with vegetables and fish

-straus' perfumes

dislikes:

-kids, he thinks they're too loud + not hygienic

-the phrases "wow you're so tall" "how did you get so tall?"

-he's not proud of his height, he thinks it's a little annoying to be so tall

-balls and banquets in general

-the burden of being an heir

-his relatives, especially his grandparents

aura:

Asterias' aura is classified as an informal marble. He's dual toned, and boasts an overall bright aura.

#73cbe6

#96ffea

dragon:

Asterias will bond to a white+silver female sky serpent, and will name her Yggdrasil (nickname would be Rassie).

strengths & weaknesses:

strengths:

-very impressive scythe skills

-lots of stamina because of his harsh training

-amazing swordsman

weaknesses:

-martial arts. He needs a weapon to fight.

-terrible with cooperation

fighting style:

Asterias fights with a scythe, but can also fight well with a sword. He prefers fighting with a scythe because he feels like he can fight the way he wants to fight. Asterias' sword is an heirloom only light blue haired heirs have fought with. Major setback for him is martial arts, he wouldn't survive a fight against Teagan LMAO

when you shift here..

Asterias will be a 2nd year at aethergarde academy once you shift here.

wanna know more about my aethergarde academy dr? here's a masterlist with everything I've posted about it!

[dracosaurusrex]

i love ur writing!!! can u maybe do a hc where its post war! draco x reader where they get married right, then reader gets pregnant with scorpius!! and its like them taking care of him, seeing him growing up and sending him off to hogwarts etc etc yk? also u dont have to do this ofc 🤍!!

Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy) 🌱 - Headcanon

Pairing: Draco x Reader

Hi nonnie!! I’m sorry it took me a while to get to this. Besides being occupied with schoolwork, I thoroughly had to think about how Draco would be as a father. I hope you enjoy!! It’s a lil long too aha.

PS. Kudos to you if you know where the title comes from aha

When Draco found out you were pregnant, there was no containment to the pure joy he had felt in the moment

Tears of joy brimmed his eyes

Crushing embraces

Playful kisses transitioned to more passionate ones as he poured out his love for you

Despite the years following the end of the war, he still didn’t feel deserving of you

Furthermore, he didn’t feel deserving of parenting a child with you

But one thing he was certain of was that he didn’t want to be anything like his father.

The very thought chilled him and struck fear to his bones

“Draco, you’ll make a great father” you say constantly. Each time you do so wrapping him in a warm embrace

It surprised you seeing him cry for the first time as he cradled your growing bump

“Do you think he can hear me?” He’d ask

You nodding as you wiped the tears rolling down his face

“I don’t want him to grow up like I did.”

“Love, we wouldn’t be here if you didn’t go through any of it.”

More silent tears and kisses to your bump

“I’ll do my best for you and your mother, I promise.”

Him kissing your bump one last time

“We’ll do our best for each other” you reassure

-🌱- 

There’s no end to him showing you how much he loves you.

The morning sickness, weird cravings, the aches and pains—this man spoiled you and made sure you were comfortable as much as possible

Happy wife = happy life

You both taking turns to tell the baby in your womb stories

Draco playing the piano with you and the baby by his side

You’d be cuddling as you both thought of names

Him opting to follow Black tradition and use names from constellations

“If it’s a girl, it should be Maia Altair. Both are the brightest stars within their respective constellations.” He said.

“How about Lyra Celeste?”

“That’s pretty too. Goodness, I hope it’s not a girl. We’d have a hard time choosing.” He says jokingly, making you chuckle.

“How about for a boy?” You ask

“I was thinking along the lines of Scorpius... I can’t seem to think up of a middle name”

“How about Hyperion?”

“Scorpius Hyperion?” His eyes widened for a moment, “That’s perfect.”

He didn’t mind whether you’d give birth to a boy or a girl—he wanted to give his children the best whether that’d be values, or material possessions

-🌱-

Being a private family meant a gender reveal and baby shower with just the two of you.

You hand the photo of the ultrasound to him faced down

“We’re having a boy, Draco.”

Hearts pounding.

Smiles wide

Draco’s sight was transfixed on the small formation printed on the page for a bit before looking at you again

The moment reminded you of the first time you said “I love you” to one another

He presses a tender loving kiss to your lips as you wrap your arms around his torso.

The next couple of months pass quickly

Life is still happy coz wife is still happy

There’s look comprising fear and awe when Draco laid his eyes on the newborn baby boy in your arms

“May I hold him?”

You hand Scorpius to him with tears in your eyes

Scorpius being so small that he doesn’t even occupy half of Draco’s forearm

“Welcome Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy, my son” He says softly, tears following soon after yours did

-🌱-

Raising Scorpius was similar to walking on a tightrope, but even if you both fell at times, it was never hard enough to keep you down

He was a sweet boy, an obedient son

He took after Draco’s appearance: platinum hair, pointed face, and he sported a warm pair of grey eyes

But he bore your kind and compassionate personality, which Draco adored

Regardless of how much of your personality he inherited, Scorpius still had his father’s attitude sometimes, much to your amusement and shock

Draco spoiling him throughout his youth

You dressing Scorpius up

Both of you teaching the boy human decency towards witches, wizards, and muggles alike

One thing Draco made certain as a father was to make sure that Scorpius knew he was welcome to talk to his parents about anything

While you’d speak of matters of the heart, Draco would do his best to speak on matters of logic and reasoning

No matter what, you did your very best to make known to the young Malfoy that he was loved.

-🌱-

Time spent together as a family occupied the best memories of your lives

While Scorpius was growing and learning new things, you and Draco were learning (and growing) alongside him

When he was five years old, having finished his daily lessons, he walked  amongst the vast halls of the mansion, knowing exactly where his parents would be

First checks the library to find Draco focused in his study

“Papa?” He calls out with a small voice

“Yes Scorp? Have you finished your studies for today?”

“Yes, father. May I sit with you?”

That was the day that Draco introduced his own passions to his son.

The little boy on his lap looks at the book in front of him with awe as Draco tells him stories of constellations and alchemy

“That’s how we named you.”

“My name is Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy!” The sound of pride ringing from his little voice strikes a chord in Draco’s heart

He kisses the top of his head

“Yes, we’re are Malfoy’s”

“And mama?”

“Mama, is Y/N Y/M/N Malfoy.” He says with his heart fluttering.

The sound of your name never fails to reduce his insides to mush.

He then removes himself to find you painting the white peacocks that scattered the lawn

“Mama, what are you doing?”

“I’m painting love. Do you want to see?” You kiss his cheek as you gather him into your arms to give him a view of your work

“I want to learn how to do that!” 

“And what is it would you like to paint first?”

“The skies in papa’s books!”

-🌱-

As much as possible, you hid small arguments and issues from Scorpius

You and Draco had established three rules when confronting road bumps in your marriage:

Communicate needs and feelings

Give one another space when needed

Never go to bed with issues unresolved

The openness you taught your son, would be put into practice between you both

Fortunately, you being with Draco for more than ten years meant that you’ve practically seen him at his lowest points

He learned how to be vulnerable to you, and was your shoulder to cry on when needed

Nevertheless, each issue was resolved with a kiss, and something a little more *wink wink* (Scorpius would already be in bed dw)

Draco would catch himself staring at you in the kitchen one day, feeling the same way he would when he’d stare at you in your potions class

The smile you give when you notice him never changed

Scorpius taking note of this calls his dad out

“Papa, why do you love mama?” 

“She’s my best friend, Scorpius.” 

“I love mama too!”

You were the rock to your little family of three, and the older man would wonder how he became so lucky every time he thought about it.

-🌱-

Time flew by real fast in the manor. Before you know it, Scorpius turned eleven, and received his letter to Hogwarts

Robes? Check

Books? Check

Quills? Parchment? Check

Cauldron and other items? Check

Excited and nervous Scorpius Malfoy? Check.

“Papa, mama, what if no one likes me?”

Draco takes the first and last say before you can even open your mouth

“Just be yourself Scorp, and you’ll be fine.”

The platform bustling with sounds of old and new students alike

You see the Potter’s and the Weasley’s from afar and give a small wave

Draco, acting like a git, only gives a nod when you nudge his side with your elbow

Scorpius is the first to move away from his father’s side to introduce himself 

“Hi! I’m Scorpius Malfoy!” He says with a toothy grin

Albus’s eyes sparkle at a new friend, “I’m Albus Potter! This is Rose Weasley! We’re both first years!”

“Me too! Can I sit with you on the train?”

The exchange throws both Harry and Draco into a spiral, leaving you, Ginny, and Hermione thoroughly amused for the day.

“Albus- he”, 

“S-Scor-”

Both fathers are ignored.

But the happy grins they see on their sons faces calms them down slightly

The time comes for the train to take off

Draco wraps his arms around you as you wipe the tears forming 

It was a miracle that the little boy grew up to be a kind, intelligent, and talented young man. 

In that moment, Draco has never felt so grateful for his family

I apologize for the length. It’s kinda chaotic, but I hope you enjoyed reading it hehe. Thank you so much for all your support!

Tagging:

@amithatemo @littlethie @drxcomvlfx @svturtles @stretchyice @xoxohollands @dracosathenaeum @hahee154hq @mushi98 @dreaming-about-fanfictions @beiahadid @Saby06143 @rottenhexrt

[jenanigans1207]

so matchablossom hc: yk how cherry can't sleep unless carla plays him a lullaby or smth??? one night carla's battery gets damaged and cherry panics in the dark and calls his latest contact which, surprise surprise, is joe and gets him to sing the lullaby instead. this works, so everytime they travel together, cherry uses this instance as an excuse for joe to sing him lullabies to sleep~

Oh my GOD I love this so much it’s actually painful. I really hope I did the idea justice because it’s so soft and perfect, thank you SO MUCH for this!! ❤️

—

It’s pitch black out when Cherry blinks his eyes open. It takes a long second for reality to filter back in, fought off temporarily by the hazy edges of the dream he’d just been submerged in. He feels warm, comfortable in his bed as he slowly rolls over to look at the clock, 2:03 am.

With a content noise, Cherry settles back into his pillow. He still has a few more hours to sleep. “Carla, play my lullaby.”

Seconds pass, the clock ticks on, but Carla makes no sounds.

“Carla.” Cherry repeats, squinting through the darkness to where he knows Carla is plugged in and charging. There’s no light coming from that corner of the room, no sign that Carla is even there. “Carla?”

Without a response still, Cherry groans and throws the covers off, padding across his bedroom to where he’s absolutely certain he plugged Carla in before bed. Sure enough, she’s exactly where he left her, but she’s not charging. Fumbling through the darkness, Cherry tries to figure out what went wrong.

The cord is plugged into the wall, that’s a good start. He traces the cord with the tips of his fingers— it’s plugged properly into Carla, too. His clock is still on, so he hasn’t lost power. Confused, he reaches for Carla, his fingers closing around her with the intent of picking her up, but the moment his fingers skim her battery, he understands. There’s a sizable dent right underneath his hand.

Of course.

Honestly, he should’ve expected this, should’ve known to check her more closely once he’d gotten home. It had been reckless, rising to Joe’s challenge at S the way he had, but he wasn’t one to back down, especially from Joe. And really, he and Joe had been skating together for years, so it should’ve been fine. It would’ve been fine, too, if Joe had been able to keep that giant mouth of his shut. But he hadn’t— shocking— and Cherry had risen to a reckless level that wasn’t his style, barely avoiding a wicked fall and damaging Carla in the process.

It’s fine, he tells himself as he heads back to his bed. He’ll just go back to sleep and fix Carla in the morning. He can’t see the extent of the damage but it feels like a quick replacement of the battery should be more than enough to get Carla functional again. Easy, he can do that in no time. So all he needs to do is sleep.

Sleep. In his dark room that is eerily quiet.

It’s completely fine, he tells himself. He’s been sleeping in this room for years and hasn’t had a problem yet. There’s no reason to be—

The shadows dancing on the wall across from him look like menacing shapes.

Cherry closes his eyes, reminding himself firmly that the shadows are only shifting because of the trees outside his window. There’s a perfectly logical explanation, no need to let his imagination—

Was that a creak? No, it sounded closer to a groan.

Before he can stop himself, Cherry already has his phone to his ear, the familiar number dialed and ringing.

“Do you have any idea what time it is?” Joe grouses into the other end of the phone when he picks up and it’s abundantly clear by the sleepy edge to his voice that Cherry just woke him up. “You better be fatally wounded or I’m hanging up.”

“Carla’s battery is damaged.” Cherry says, eyes still pinched shut. But something about the sound of Joe’s voice is still soothing, especially as rough as it is with sleep.

“And?” There’s a muffled sound that makes Cherry think Joe is changing positions. “I know I’m the most brilliant person you know, but I really think problem solving this could’ve waited until morning.”

Despite the fear, despite the fact that Cherry’s heart is racing in his chest as he hears another one of those creaking groans in the distance, he can’t stop the huff that comes out. “For your information, it’s your fault that she’s damaged. I’m certainly not calling you for advice on how to fix her.”

“You took that jump on your own.” Joe dismisses immediately but the tiredness in his voice is replaced with a bit of that smugness that Cherry knows so well. “But why are you calling, then?”

“Carla’s battery is damaged.” Cherry repeats with emphasis, as if that should explain everything. When he gets nothing more than a frustrated sigh and some mumblings about missing out on beauty sleep in response, he elaborates. “She won’t turn on. And I need to sleep.”

“Oh.” Cherry can hear the moment the implication clicks in Joe’s mind. Because Joe knows— Joe is the only one who knows, the only one Cherry has ever told. And yes, Joe had teased him mercilessly about it, but only in a friendly way that was meant to put Cherry at ease about sharing his secret. And it did. “Same one?”

Joe was a lot of things— primarily a muscle-headed, dim-witted gorilla— but he was not cruel. The image he projected to the rest of the world was often times far from the person he actually was, especially when he was alone with Cherry. The Joe that Cherry knew, the one he had spent many late nights with, shared many glasses of wine with— that Joe was tender and caring.

As soon as Cherry had admitted to Joe that he needed a lullaby to soothe his anxiety so he could sleep, Joe had demanded to know which lullaby. Cherry had showed him, expecting nothing more than laughter. But Joe hadn’t laughed, not even once. In fact, he’d gone out of his way to learn the lullaby, to memorize it.

He’d never breathed a word of it to anyone, but a few times back in high school, Cherry had caught him humming it under his breath when he’d thought that Cherry was already asleep.

“Yeah.”

And just like that, Joe launches into humming the lullaby. It’s soft and quiet, but there’s so much feeling behind it. Suddenly, Cherry’s heart is racing for an entirely different reason. Joe’s humming is beautiful, slow and rich, filling his ear. The creaking groans fade out into the background and the menacing shaped shadows are no longer on Cherry’s mind. He settles back into bed, cradling the phone gently against his cheek as he tries to breathe slowly and just listen.

He really ought to thank Joe for this in the morning, but he won’t. They’ll never talk of this moment again— never talk about Cherry choosing Joe in a moment of vulnerability or Joe being there for him with unwavering support.

They’ll never talk about it again, but they’ll both know. They already did know, that’s why Cherry called Joe in the first place. Because he knew that Joe would be there for him, the way he had always been. And Joe— Joe understood that Cherry trusted him unconditionally, even if he never said it. If he didn’t, he would’ve been surprised by Cherry’s request.

As the world fades out around Cherry and coherent thought begins to fade, he grasps on to the idea of how nice this is, and how much more he likes this compared to Carla’s version. Perhaps, he thinks before he falls asleep completely, he should have Carla be nonfunctional more often.

The very last tendrils of wakefulness are starting to recede and Cherry’s almost completely asleep when he hears a faint, “Goodnight, Kaoru. I’m glad you called.”

It’s the first time in awhile that he falls asleep with a smile on his face.

[spencerreidalvez]

two feet under

Post Tobias Hankel stream of consciousness thoughts

tw: bug imagery?,  injury, violence, death, suicidal ideation, drug use, yk canon typical but like a little angstier? 

*

There’s not much Spencer can say to them as he rides in the backseat of the SUV, pressed up between Morgan and JJ, Hotch and Emily in the front seats.

He’s caked in dirt and blood and the scent of rotting fish lingers on his clothes like a disease.

JJ’s trembling beside him, hand flexing intermittently like she wants to reach out to Spencer but doesn’t know how.

While JJ’s clearly scared and upset, Morgan’s angry. He’s boiling beside Spencer like he wants to go back there and kill Tobias all over again.

Spencer doesn’t know how much they saw, he just knows they did. They must’ve to have been able to find him. He doesn’t know how to open his mouth, to start the conversation, fear of bugs crawling out of the dirt that’s sticking to his very bones, pressed to the roof of his mouth, coating the back of his throat. He’s scared that if he does try to speak, he’ll realize he died back there and this is nothing more than a conjured dream to help him shift into death more easily. He doesn’t want to know that he’s still underground, still in the grave he dug himself, still choking on dirt, lungs caving in. He doesn’t want to know. He’s happy living in the pretenses of JJ sliding her pinky finger over his in a small show of care, of Hotch checking on him through the rearview mirror every thirty seconds, of Morgan pressing their shoulders together strong enough for the both of them, of Garcia’s voice coming through Emily’s phone scared out of her mind and desperate to hear that Spencer’s okay, of Emily’s sweater wrapped around his shoulders keeping him warm. He’s okay to live here, in this transfer of life to death, where he feels comforted and cared for and loved in a way he’d never felt before joining this team.

They park outside the hospital, despite Spencer having already been checked by the EMT’s on scene, and Hotch turns to look at him properly.

I knew you’d understand, rings in his ears and he wonders if maybe Hotch did find him, if he’s here, if he saved him. He wants to apologize for saying those cruel things about someone who’s been a better father to him than his own blood, he wants to thank him for everything, he wants to say something, anything, to convey the cocktail of emotions he doesn’t know how to decipher. Nothing but cobwebs come out.

Hotch is saying something, something that Spencer doesn’t hear, and JJ’s shifted so her whole hand is over his, encompassing it and him, like a warm blanket that does nothing to stop the cold, harsh bite that hasn’t left him since the moment he entered that cabin.

Time is meaningless as they talk around him, about him, in words that just sound like jumbled static, and eventually, JJ’s hand disappears and is replaced by Morgan’s guiding him out of the car and onto his unsteady, broken feet.

He blinks down at his legs, almost caving under the pressure of holding up so much fear and hurt, dirt falling away from his jeans with every movement.

A hand lands heavy on his shoulder and he turns to look, but by the time he can see again, he’s sitting on the edge of a hospital bed, feet dangling over the edge and dirt-caked nails the only reminder of being dirty.

He’s not wearing his jeans anymore, replaced instead by a hospital gown, and panic flashes through him like lightning, like the drugs that he so desperately wants back to make the feelings go away.

He hides behind a wall of intelligence, of facts and reason and statistics and logic. Emotions never played a part because they weren’t so easily quantifiable, too difficult to understand, to pinpoint, to put words to. A robot, he’s called, a walking textbook, a genius brain with no heart to accompany it. God, they were so wrong. It was just easier that way. He wants the numbness that Dilaudid provides, he wants to be able to forget, he wants to wipe the slate clean for even just a moment.

If he’s dead, and this is just some elaborate fantasy to make the passage easier, this is just as painful and confusing and scary as dying alone in a shallow grave would’ve been.

The heart monitor behind him picks up the pace, flashes of what would’ve been, of that grave, that ending, making themselves known.

He’s alive, but he might as well just be cobwebs in the place of who he once was.

He was saved, rescued, unearthed, but he might as well still be two feet under, a grave of his own making.

Tobias was gone. Spencer killed somebody innocent, it wasn’t like Tobias chose to have a father like he did, he didn’t choose to be tormented, he didn’t ask to have DID. And he’s dead because of Spencer, because Spencer couldn’t take the punishment Raphael believed he deserved.

How is it fair that Spencer gets to sit here, showered in affection and love and worry, while Tobias, an innocent child, rots in the earth.

He opens his mouth, dirt on his tongue and cobwebs between his teeth and bugs in his throat, he squeezes his hands together and says, “I’m sorry.”

[killerhatcanons]

Could u do a childhood friends hc with Trapper, The Shape and Ghostface?? 🥺🥺

Of course my friend! uwu

So we can imagine most of Michael‘s and Trapper‘s childhoods but I don’t think Danny has much of a background lore going as far soo I‘d personally also put him into a difficult household (even though I wish it were different) I also think I’ll put this one into a text form

TW: idek what to tag this with but I’m guessing abuse/domestic violence

The Trapper (Evan MacMillan)

Evan had always in a way idolized his father and his father had never deemed anyone worthy to get close to his son. Needless to say Evan didn’t have many friends at all when he was young. The other children were scared of his father and the stories their parents had told them about the MacMillan family. They were gruesome, as much as a parent would allow their child to hear but enough to ensure they would never want to get close to the MacMillan child.

You had always thought it was unfair. It wasn’t Evan’s fault that his dad was mean and you didn’t want him to sit alone over something he wasn’t responsible for. So you approached him and you kept approaching him even as he tried to push you away. He knew about the stories and he himself knew very well that his father wasn’t the kindest person. Time and time again had his father hit him for not following his orders, had thrown away his sketches and sent him to bed on an empty stomach as a punishment. He understood why others feared his father and he didn’t blame them. Even though he loved his father, he also despised him. He knew no one but him would endure his father’s punishments so when the tiny you approached him he tried his best to push you away. You were far too fragile, you couldn’t get close to him or his father. 

But you didn’t care. No matter how many times he rudely sent you away you always returned. And as time passed he felt himself slowly growing fond of you. You were nice to him, the only person that made him feel warm and he didn’t want you to leave him anymore. He wanted to keep your kindness, to keep the warmth you made him feel through the utter coldness he was accustomed to. So he allowed you to stay if only for a while which soon became longer and longer.

You played together in elementary school and he would protect you from anyone that even attempted to bully you. Or ask you out for that matter. He soon had to realize that he grew more and more possessive of you, that he didn’t want anyone to take you away from him. You had been with him since the beginning, had shown him kindness and understanding, had been there for him and took care of the bruises his father kept giving him. As cheesy as this sounded you had been his sun all along, naturally and selflessly giving him warmth without ever being asked to. His one and only friend.

Shit I might need to turn this into a fiction maybe? haha we’ll see

The Shape (Michael Meyers)

Michael had always been the silent child in your kindergarten group. First everyone thought he was just a little shy but you soon realized that he simply refused to speak. Of course your teacher tried to convince him to talk, even had a meeting with his parents but they assured that he learned speaking, however at one point simply stopped any form of communication. To the adults he was a hopeless case. They tried desparately to change him, but he wouldn’t budge. 

To you he was a welcome friend. You didn’t mind his silence, you knew he was listening to you and you could still play together. Well, it was mostly you telling him what to do with the toys, because he himself wouldn’t do anything besides holding them in his hand, but that wasn’t much of an issue to you. 

Of course you tried to get him to play with your other friends too, but his lack of enthusiasm often got in the way and the other kids got scared of his silent and emotionless behavior. However, even when they told you to, you refused to stop playing with Michael. Yes, he was a little odd, but that didn’t make him a bad child (killing his sister later lowkey did tho oop) so you didn’t want him to be alone. Everyone needs some company, right? 

Over time you noticed, that he would remember what you had told him to do with the toys, instead of simply holding them, to which you would give him a big smile.

This improvement you saw in his behavior made you even sadder when one day he stopped coming to the kindergarten. At first you had thought he was sick, but weeks went on without a single trace of him or his parents.

Upon asking you own they had told you he was sent to another kindergarten instead, that was specialized on children like him. You were sad of course, but you accepted it, hoping he would find more friends to play with now. 

You only later found out he was sent to an asylum instead of another kindergarten.

The Ghostface (Danny Johnson)

Danny Johnson did not have the nicest childhood imaginable. After her divorce his mother didn’t become directly abusive to him, more so the alcohol. 

He liked to think that the slurring woman bruising him wasn’t his mother, that it was simply someone else, someone more aggressive trying to be her. He didn’t want to think his mother hated him, he didn’t want to believe she would bruise him, would shout at him and blame him for what had happened to her marriage. 

Even as a young boy he knew to cover his bruises. He loved his mother, he didn’t want her to be alone even though the woman the alcohol brought out of her hurt him in every way possible. But it was his fault right? His dad didn’t want him so he left him and his mother. He was responsible and the least he thought he could do was let her let out her pain on the person responsible for her misery.

In school he didn’t talk much to anyone. He was a rather shy kid, not wanting to cause anymore trouble for anyone. At lunch he sat alone, but he didn’t mind. He also didn’t mind being called weird or gross for his greasy long hair or the bags under his eyes. Not that he wanted to talk to anyone about himself anyways. Not even to you as you approached him. 

You had watched him sit alone for a long time. He looked sad, restless, sometimes even scared and despite not even knowing him, it hurt you to see anyone in this state. So you went to talk to him. However, it took a while for him to stop avoiding you as best as he could and he eventually opened up to you a bit. He still didn’t tell you about the abuse until you reached middle school, but when he did you were determined to help him, to clear his understanding of him not being responsible for anything and to get him a new home. 

With the help of your parents you were able to get him out of his household and soon find a acquainted family that was willing to take him in. The Olsens tried their best to provide him with everything he needed. And while you knew it would take time for him to heal, you were relieved he was part of a loving family now, that would help him back onto a safe track. 

You couldn’t have known that the damage to Danny’s brain had already been done and there was no way of saving him from the twisted prison of his own mind.

OOK THESE ARE WAY DARKER THAN YOU PROBABLY WANTED BUT I OOP GOT CARRIED AWAY 

I can attempt to make it more wholesome a second time if you want these were just the most logical things that came to my mind haha... honestly idk but I usually think that someone isn’t just yk born a killer (except Michael maybe pfft) so I came up with some uhm logical upbringings to the boys haha yeet..

Anyways I’m considering turning the Evan and Ghosty one into their own separate story thingsies. Kinda hard to do something with Michael bc uhm Psychiatry but possibly something with a reader that’s also in treatment or we pull a Harley Quinn sometime who knows! 

For now I hope you aren’t too mad that this was so... dark instead of cute oop >:)) if you’re mad just let me die on the hook next time pffft

[absoluteyoongit]

in loving memory

⇢ pairing: ghost!taehyung x gender neutral!reader, jin x gender neutral!reader

⇢ genre: big angst, with a little fluff

⇢ word count: 10.1K

⇢ warnings: MCD nothing graphic tae’s just...yk a ghost, reader has depression and anxiety

⇢ summary: the love of your life was gone, he wasn’t coming back. At least in any way you could hope for.

⇢ author’s note: bueller is finally back with some angst. thanks to @youarejesting​, @rougebangtan​, and @bangtanloverboys​ for reading this and giving me words of encouragement, it means so much to me. Also thank you @purpleskies1999​ for the amazing banner, I love it.

part of btsghostiewriters bingo bash: prompt- ghost

~

Have you ever loved someone so much you ceased living for yourself but lived for them?

That was the only explanation Taehyung could imagine as to why he sat silently, watching you sleep peacefully from the corner of the room. The person he loved so dearly looked captivating even In deep sleep. His gaze, vigilant on your vulnerable form.

Your soft snores filled the otherwise silent room. Drool pooling at the base of the pillow where your mouth laid open against it. Round cheeks puffing up as your face squished against the pillow. Strands of wild hair standing in all different directions from bed head. Arms holding the body pillow in a death grip with knuckles tense. Eyelids fluttering as you dreamed—of something happy, Tae wished—nose flexing as you breathed in and out. A streak of moonlight adorned your face, highlighting the still damp tear stains that had yet to dry.

Taehyung admired you from afar, so close but the farthest away he could ever be.

He pried his eyes away from your sleeping figure for the first time since you collapsed onto the bed from exhaustion.

The usually tidy, cozy studio apartment was an abandoned disheveled mess. A mountain of dirty dishes waiting to be washed piled around the kitchen sink, worn clothes littered the ground—despite not changing your oversized sweater in the past week or so—a stockpile of takeout boxes cluttered on the ground next to the already full garbage can. Plants you had painstakingly cared for wilted. Art and pictures that once decorated the walls, taken down and placed in a corner to not be seen again. Pictures of him and you.

Taehyung’s eyes rested on the picture you found earlier, the memory which caused your emotional outburst, leaving you drained. The picture was from your second anniversary. He took you to the city’s local fair, the same place the two of you had your first date, the same place as your first kiss. Both of you just got off of a deathtrap of a ride; your hairs stuck up in different directions from being blown out, much like the bed head you sported at the moment. Your arms clung to his waist as you walked forward while he wrapped around your shoulders. The two of you possessed the biggest smiles of your life, eyes crinkled in euphoria. You looked toward the camera while his gaze was on you like it always was. That was the happiest day of his life besides the day you said yes. Your smile from that day was almost identical to the one in this picture but with the addition of joyful tears.

It was a shame he never got to see you walk down the aisle.

The smile he wore did not reach his eyes. He never would have left you if he knew you would end up in this state. It has been months since he’s been gone but you continued falling down, spiraling out of control, never trying to climb back out. He couldn’t stand it, seeing you like this. He hated it. He realized a long time ago that he could not do anything about it.

Taehyung remembered the day it happened. He woke up in a hospital, surrounded by frightening cords and monitors. Bolting from his bed, frantically searching for your room to hope you were okay, alive. Now he realized that was too easy, too straightforward. He should have known that leaving the bed without any struggle was a red flag but all he cared about was whether you were okay or not.

It wasn’t until he reached your room that the realization occurred. You were unconscious but alive, the monitor checking your heartbeat sounded off steadily. Before he could ask the attending nurse about your condition, she walked through him.

The initial shock of his death was quick. He cried over your body, inconsolable, until the moment you opened your eyes. Ever since then all he cared about was you but Why make you his unfinished business if he couldn’t do anything to ease your pain.

He sighed, there was nothing to be done, nothing he could change. He would gladly die again if it had to be him or you. Hell, he would have gotten himself killed if you died in the accident and not him. Life would not be worth it without you in it. He prayed to whatever was out there that you were stronger than he was and continued on. He would be content to watch you for eternity even if it meant watching you move on.

The thought of you meeting someone new left a bittersweet taste in his mouth. On one hand, he would do anything to see your bright smile again but on the other, he wanted to be the cause of that smile and no one else.

A soft whimper stirred him from his trance, his head snapping to you in worry. Another nightmare? Your lower lip quivered as your breaths grew more labored and heavy. The arms that already held his pillow close crushed them tighter, your eyes squeezing harder. Baby hairs stuck to your face, dampening from the sweat collecting on your skin.

On instinct, Taehyung rushed over to your side. The once heavy pads of his feet registering as nothing more than a mere whisper in the dark room. The palms of his hands steadied him as he leaned towards your shivering body, your cries now louder than low whimpers.

Taehyung’s focus was entirely spent on trying to soothe you; so singularly focused that he missed the way the bed dipped from his invisible weight or the way the blanket shifted when his foot slid across it.

He looked down at your crying features, faces inches apart, so close that if he was paying attention he would notice the ghost of his breath flutter against your eyelashes.

All he wanted was to comfort you but like the many times since he left, he was unsure about how to help. For all he knew, you could not feel his presence. You didn’t feel the way he clung to you as you sat alone in the hospital crying after hearing the news or the way he held your hand during his funeral. You never reacted to him then so why should you now?

That didn’t stop him from closing the distance between your faces, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead. The wrinkles that settled there slowly relaxed as your cries gradually lessened into hiccups. The fierce grip on the pillow he used to use loosened, your knuckles no longer white.

The soft adoration he felt seeing you calm down dissipated and was replaced by pure shock once he realized what just happened. You reacted to him. You felt his lips, at least felt them enough to ease you back into a more peaceful slumber. He held his useless breath, the disbelief lingering on his face as he moved to touch you more. Rough calloused hands cupped your jaw, thumbs rubbing in a soothing motion. His heart stopped for the second time that night as he witnessed you lean closer into his embrace. He could not believe it. After months of losing hope he would ever connect to you again, you felt his presence, even if you responded in your sleep.

Pure excitement filled Taehyung’s veins as he gripped both sides of your face, planting fervent kisses all over. He was desperate for you to feel his love for you, desperate to let you know that he was still around and that he would never leave.

You stirred, feeling the lightest of pecks all over your face. The sensation was cold but something about these chilling phantom touches warmed your heart, they were familiar and comforting. Opening your eyes, you felt an unexplainable disappointment seeing only a streak of light from the streetlight on your ceiling.

Your heart clenched. You swore you felt a weight, felt someone, felt him, on top of you. You held back a sob, trying not to cry again. The memories of the accident and the white walls of the hospital already haunted your dreams. You didn’t need this delusion to bring forth more memories. Finally catching your breath, you sat up and eyed the clock on your nightstand. 4:52 am. You exhaled, deciding to start your day in fear of what you would see if you closed your eyes again.

Taehyung’s eyes followed you with sadness from his position on the bed. You had looked straight through him. Deep down he knew that you would never actually see him again but the longing on your face as you unknowingly stared into his eyes devastated him.

His lingering eyes trailed you as you made coffee. Taehyung was mesmerized by the way your body gracefully moved about the kitchen, the way he always did when he was alive. He longed for the touch of your soft skin, longed for your fingers as they threaded through his wavy hair. Craved the way your long legs would wrap around his waist as he pressed against a hard surface. He yearned for the silk of your lips against his. He missed the way your body fit perfectly against his.

An optimistic smile replaced the solemn one on his face, a newfound hope bubbling up in his chest. You felt him. Even if you did not see him or recognize his touch, you still felt him. There was hope that he could make you understand that he was still here, with you.

Taehyung was a determined man. If he didn’t pass on because of his love for you he was going to try with all of his might to make you feel it.

~

The city seemed more crowded than usual as you silently weaved in and out of the masses on the sidewalk. Maybe it was the fact you haven’t left your apartment since the funeral that fueled your anxiety. It’s been three months since you have come into contact with this many people; grateful that your boss allowed you to work remotely part-time while you grieved. It would have been impossible to show your face at work.

However, your vacation from work was ending soon and the very thought of witnessing pity on your coworkers’ faces when you returned made you sick. You needed some casual human interaction as preparation before heading back to the warzone; so when your friend Jin reached out, offering to take you out for lunch, you accepted. It was the little nudge you needed to start integrating back into normal life. At least, as normal as it could get.

Taking a moment to look down at your clothes, you grimaced. Stained sweatpants—from what looks like pizza or some kind of hot sauce—a huge oversized Nike sweater, and a pair of mismatched socks with sandals. You were a mess. Not only were you regretting not putting a little more effort into your outfit because of the stares you got but also because you were sweating. It wasn’t scalding out but the unblocked sun in the sky made it feel many degrees hotter than it actually was. Hopefully, Jin would take pity on you; not his actual pity but if he commented on your attire you’d probably cry.

One of your favorite cafés came into view; reading its name made your mouth dry. The anxiety building up from your journey here reached a boiling point. This was a bad idea.

You and Taehyung would come to this very café every day after your shared English class, freshman year of university. You froze, not bearing the thought of stepping inside. The window booth where the two of you would always study together was in full view. This is where you fell in love with him.

“Do you want your usual? I’m buying today.”

“You can’t say you’re buying every time we come here. How are you not broke yet?”

He shrugged, “I am smart with my money. I only spend it on things I care about.”

“You care about my coffee?”

“I care about you.”

Taehyung confessed to you here that day, he asked you on your first date here, he asked you to be his partner here. It was all too much. The pain in your chest grew, breath quickening, as you stood at the storefront. Jin was in clear view, sitting in the exact spot Taehyung would sit at. Flashes of his face replaced Jin’s as you imagined Taehyung sitting there, waiting for you. Why did you agree to meet here when Jin suggested it? Maybe he would understand if you canceled on him right now. It wasn’t unreasonable right?

Your shoulders twisted, ready to turn around and run, but something stopped you. It felt like a chilling breeze on a cold day, except it didn’t pass over you, it was isolated on your shoulder. The cold air swirled around your body, tickling you. The sensation was comforting, almost as if it was urging you forward toward the entrance of the restaurant. It reminded you of the invisible weight you felt just a week ago.

On instinct, you let the cool touch guide you inside towards your awaiting friend. As soon as Jin locked gazes with you the feeling left, strangely leaving you colder than before despite the heat outside. Jin waved you over with a gentle smile on his face. You donned a nervous one, walking over and sitting down.

Taehyung watched as you and Jin conversed through the window. He released a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He could not believe that worked.

In all honesty, Taehyung was a nervous wreck. Sure, he was able to wake you up with his touch a few nights ago but doubt swelled in him since then. He worried that it was all a figment of his imagination, some cruel force messing with him. He refrained from attempting to touch you again because of that fear; scared that the little blossom of hope he held would wilt away. But seeing you stand frozen, in your own fear, in front of the place that carried so many memories, made him snap. He needed to have you know that you were not alone, you had people who cared. He could not let you run away from the one friend you two shared.

That’s when in desperation, Taehyung grabbed your shoulder. He barely felt the warmth of he knew your body provided but it was there. Just like the night where his kisses found your face, he felt only a fraction of the warmth he used to. It was enough for him. The weak sensation connected him to you. He craved it and desired it more than anything to feel that connection and comfort from his touch.

Taehyung felt desperate. Desperate for you to recognize he was here, that he just didn’t fade into oblivion, that his love was stronger than death.

He focused back on the reunion at hand, he would figure out his next steps later but for now, he wanted you to feel better than you did this morning. He hoped Jin could help.

Jin did help. He made you use your voice for the first time in months that did not involve crying. However, the conversation didn’t last long. As much as you needed the social interaction you were overwhelmed from the phantom presence earlier. It frightened you. It didn’t scare you in the way where you feared something bad would happen. No, it was more about the way your body reacted to it. Like the familiar affectionate touch of a friend’s hand on your shoulder, it made you feel lighter. It confused you. The thoughts scattered around your head blocked you from having any meaningful conversation with Jin. Short straight to the point responses was all you could muster.

You tried ignoring the concerned look on Jin’s face after exchanging pleasantries for the fourth time but you could tell that he wasn’t going to be quiet about it for long. Jin was always upfront and blunt, something you admire about him, but it made you nervous now.

“Y/N, are you okay?”

Jin watched you flinch as the words left his mouth. That simple question held a monstrous weight. Jin knew that. He knew that question could trigger a waterfall of pent up emotions. He was prepared though. In his opinion, the dam you had built over the past three months needed to break.

You were a dam. Someone who bottled up their feelings, preferring to deal with them alone until one day you crack. Jin wanted to be there for you when that day came. You had been alone for so long he was afraid of what would happen if you retreat into yourself again.

When he set up this rendezvous he expected you to be emotional. That’s why he picked this café; he wanted you to be vulnerable with him. What he wasn’t expecting was for you to be stuck in a stupor. Your one to two word responses did not satisfy him. He was worried even more now.

Y/N and Taehyung were some of his closest friends, so when he heard that both of you ended up in the hospital because of an accident and only one of you was recovering it was heartbreaking.

It hurt him more when you cried at the hospital and the funeral. You didn’t let anyone touch you or console you. It was the lowest he’s ever seen you and it was evident that you have not improved over the past couple of months. Jin knew that you and Taehyung had something special; the word love could not describe all the feelings the two of you had for each other. The two of you convinced him soulmates existed.

“Do you want to go home? I understand if this is too much right now,” Jin gently pressed, “I’ll still be here tomorrow if you need today.” His hand slid across the table to where your hands fisted, tenderly smoothing his thumb over your tense knuckles. Wordlessly you nodded. You began your day hopeful but now all you were was overwhelmed.

Jin's gaze lingered on you as you got up and exited the café without a goodbye. You were not ready for him today but he was determined to help you get back on your feet soon. He wouldn’t leave you like this, he couldn’t, not when you were special to him.

~

The next few weeks consisted of slow improvements.

After failing to genuinely speak to another human being you asked your boss for another two months out of the office. While she was hesitant to allow it, the desperation in your emails convinced her to say yes. Since then Jin had gradually maneuvered into your daily life.

One day he came knocking, asking if he could come in to clean. It took a short argument before you allowed him inside. You felt terrible, disgusted even, because of the state of your apartment. You couldn’t bring yourself to clean it. Jin had simply said, “You need this and I am going to do it for you because I care.”

You watched him from the bed, ashamed that even as he cruised around the apartment you couldn’t help. A weight on your shoulders prevented you. Jin did not speak another word to you that day; silently loading the washer with the clothes that scattered the floor, picking up the random trash littering your space, and washing the dishes that piled up in your kitchen.

Jin didn’t even say goodbye to you as he quietly left the apartment, taking two full trash bags out with him. When you left the bed after he left you examined his work. It wasn’t spotless but it was the cleanest it has been since the day Taehyung died. You appreciated Jin’s gesture and made a promise to him and yourself that you would try and keep it clean. Your heart felt a little lighter that day.

The next time Jin invaded your space he brought food with him. It wasn’t the same old take out that made up your diet as of late but a cozy home-cooked meal. The dish wasn’t your favorite but the action was enough for the knot in your chest to loosen and make your cheeks rosy. Every day since the café, Jin made a considerable effort to connect with you, even if all it only was a good morning and goodnight text. To say you were grateful was an understatement. The more he reached out the more you returned and soon enough you craved his presence. With him, life became easier. It almost balanced out the longing you felt from the cold caresses you felt daily since the time in front of the café.

The touches started off light, leaving you to doubt they even existed, then they got stronger and stronger each day. From the feeling of a cool hand against your neck to the sensation of fingers threading through yours. One night, when it was hard to find sleep, you swore your hair moved as if someone was playing with it. Whatever it was, it helped you fall asleep and every other night you could fall asleep.

Whatever it was only scared you at the beginning. The day you met up with Jin was overwhelming in a lot of ways and the phantom encouragement did not help. The first few times it happened since then you flinched away, only to soon relax and find comfort in the cold.

The nostalgia in the invisible force was powerful, all-consuming. Whenever you felt its presence it felt like someone wrapped you in the fluffiest blanket and sat you in front of a fireplace. You started feeling warmth in the coldest touch.

You wanted to tell Jin, you really did, but you were afraid of what he would think. You almost felt normal, that things were going to be okay. Jin was proud of you and your improvements. You tell from the way he smiled when you cooked him instead or when you willingly wandered around the city with him, no destination in mind. You were afraid that the mere mention of a ghostly caress against your cheek would bring back the worry in his eyes. You did not want to lose the admiration you could see in his eyes.

Inch by inch your life was returning to a new normal. He wasn’t with you anymore but Jin slowly filled the giant hole in your heart, along with the phantom whose touch reminded you of him. It's almost like he never left.

~

Still being in love with someone who was dead hurt a lot. Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked down at the picture taken on your second anniversary. It was almost a year since his death and you felt the need to look through the pictures you carefully tucked away in your apartment and your memory.

Furiously rubbing your eyes, too stubborn to let any tears fall, you dropped the frame on the kitchen counter. It was too painful to look at. Why did you think this was a good idea, right before the anniversary of his death? It felt like all your hard work, building up your confidence, and mending the tear in your heart, was all for nothing. You would never stop loving him. What was the point of moving on?

At that moment you felt so alone, more alone than at Taehyung’s actual funeral. Your arms circled around yourself, attempting to bring yourself some comfort. The apartment felt so cold without him.

The phantom touch you have come to crave snaked around you, resting on top of your arms. The isolated breeze whipped around making you shudder, an invisible weight laid on your shoulder. You never got used to how the cold warmed your heart. It didn’t matter anymore, especially at this moment, the touch was comforting and that’s all you needed to finally let your tears fall, the dam breaking.

Minutes passed as you cried hard in the cool embrace. Ugly sobs wracked your body leaving you weak. You would have dropped to your knees if it wasn’t for the invisible hold on your body.

Soon the familiar fire burned in your chest, coaxing you down till the cries turned into quiet hiccups, then silence. Only the sound of your occasional sniffle and beating heart filled the room. Still standing, your eyelids drooped down from exhaustion. Sleep would take over any minute now but you didn’t want the cold arms around you to leave. Deep down you knew they weren’t going away anytime soon but that didn’t stop you from fearing this would be the last time you felt this comfort.

Taehyung’s heart broke watching you cry. He knew that the closer his death date approached the more fragile you would become. That is why he had grown bolder in the ways he touched you, from kissing your eyelids while you tried to sleep to mischievously tapping you hard to give you a quick fright. He realized it was cruel the first couple times he did it but how else would he convey his silly side to you.

Holding you now like this took the most effort he’s ever had to exert; with the kisses and caresses, he didn’t have to support you. It took a lot of energy to do this but listening to your sobs die down to a whisper made it worth it. Taehyung’s eyes snapped down to your face, hearing a light snore coming out of your parted mouth. You had fallen asleep in his arms. It brought a soft smile to his face which was quickly replaced by dread. He did not know how long he could maintain this.

Your unconscious body leaned further into the cold, the familiar feeling of Taehyung’s grasp. It was cruel how much the cold felt like him but your body did not care, continuing to lean back into nothing. The soles of your feet lifted as the last of Taehyung’s energy faded. He sharply inhaled as your body fell straight through his incorporeal body.

You woke with a thud, groaning against the floor. You slowly pried your eyes open, disoriented from the fall and quick nap. Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you leaned against the counter from your position on the floor. You were emotionally exhausted. You let out a defeated sigh, bringing your arms around you once more. Sleep did not find you again that night as you silently gazed out the large apartment window till the sun came up.

~

The door of your apartment slammed shut, jolting you awake from your position over your now soggy cereal. You knew who it was, there was no one else in your life that was close enough to you to earn the extra key to your apartment. As soon as you gifted it to him Jin took it as an invitation to visit you unannounced at any time.

The sound of dangling keys drew your attention to Jin’s face. It was no secret that your friend was attractive, hell, he brought it up all the time. As the two of you grew closer that turned more into an inside joke. He looked at you expectantly, waiting for some kind of greeting, but your mind was solely focused on the way his white shirt exposed his prominent collarbone. That singular focus shifting to gaze at his beauty in full; broad shoulders, plump pouty lips, strong le–

“Get up! Come on, we are going out today” Jin commanded, breaking you from your shameless adoration of his body.

“What if I don’t want to go out?” you pouted but in reality, you knew you needed to get out. As the anniversary of Taehyung’s death came you became closed off. Jin didn’t blame you for being distant but he didn’t want you falling back into a downward spiral and neither did you. You depended on him a lot more than either of you cared to voice. Jin was a reassuring bright light in your life that filled the holes in your chest, almost all of them. The ghost, you have come to affectionately call it, continued comforting you in a way Jin could not. There was a unique sensation those invisible hands gave you and you wouldn’t trade it for anything right now.

Jin gave you a pointed look “I am not taking a ‘no’ for an answer. It’s supposed to be a beautiful day and you need some vitamin D– you look like a ghost.” He raised an eyebrow, daring you to argue with him. Rolling your eyes in response, you got off of the chair, not in the mood to argue because you knew he was right. Secretly, you liked being dragged out by him, you needed that little extra motivation.

“Lemme just get changed. Where are we going?”

“That’s a surprise,” Jin smirked, “Just wear something casual, and don’t worry about it.”

You grimaced. You hated surprises and uncertainty; if you could have one superpower it would be to predict the future. Jin caved a little, seeing the look on your face, “I promise you it will be a good day. Trust me.”

A kindhearted smile replaced his mischievous one, it made you trust him. He knows how much you had grieved the past couple of weeks, he would not take you anywhere that would trigger any upsetting memories.

At least that’s what you thought.

Swarms of excited children followed by tired parents, groups of teenage friends, and young couples crowded the entrance of the city’s annual Summer’s Eve fair. Eyes locked onto the giant banner, which had not changed since the first year this festival ran, making you shiver. Was it really a good idea; spending the day at the same place you and Tae had your first kiss, the same place where you and Tae celebrated your second anniversary? Did Jin not know?

“I– I don’t know about this Jin. Can we go somewhere else?” your voice wavered. You wanted to be strong but this was a line you were not sure you were ready to cross.

Jin did not want to take you anywhere else. While it may have been cruel to bring you here, right after the anniversary of Taehyung's death, he wanted to elicit a reaction out of you. Either you would break down and release needed emotions, or you would remember all the memories of him and see it's okay to enjoy life again. It didn't matter to him what reaction you would have. The fair had been one of your all-time favorite events of the year and Jin thought it could bring some of your old life back.

"It's okay y/n," Jin comforted you, giving your shoulder a quick squeeze, "We don't have to stay if you really don't want to but I think it could be..." He looked up to the sky as he searched for the right word, "...therapeutic?"

You stared at him with large eyes, the thought of bolting was tempting but the hopeful and encouraging smile on Jin’s face had you second-guessing. Jin cared for you; he has been your lifeline for the past couple of months, he would not have put you in this situation if he thought coming to the fair was not beneficial for you.

Jin understood you more than you could ever know and he had been the best thing in your life since Tae. You needed to trust him. You wanted to trust him.

Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath to ready yourself. "Okay," you exhaled, "Let's go then." Jin beamed at you and you returned a hesitant one. You trusted him, deep down you felt safe with him.

"Alright then, games and rides are on me. What do you want to do first?"

You gazed around through the crowds of people until you spotted a familiar game. A small but enthusiastic smile grew on your face, you turned and grabbed Jin's hand, "Let's go to that one first."

"Balloon darts it is, come on." Jin pulled you towards the station with your hand in his, slowly intertwining both of your fingers together. "I cannot wait to beat you."

"Please, you're the one that's going to be a sore loser, not me."

"I can't believe you actually beat me? Again!"

Jin turned to you with an exasperated expression, a water gun still in hand, and a balloon unsuccessfully popped. "How are you so good at all these games? It is unfair."

You twirled the water gun in your hand, blowing at the nozzle as if smoke was coming out, “I am just that good. I’ve got that eagle eye.” You dramatically squinted one eye to further your point.

Jin chuckled at your antics, walking alongside you with his arm resting on your shoulders. “Come on Buffalo Bill, let’s go on some rides.”

“Alright, alright,” you gazed around the fair, dodging oblivious kids and frantic parents following after them.

“I want to go on that ride.”

“Oh my god. I thought that I was going to die,” Jin huffed, holding onto your shoulders as he steadied himself. “I am never doing that again.”

You giggled at his declaration. “You were the one that suggested that ride,” you shrugged, “It’s not my fault you couldn’t handle it.” A sly grin plastered on your face seeing his exasperated one.

“I did not suggest this one— YOU dragged me onto it.” Jin’s eyes were wide open, not believing your words.

“I don’t know I think you could have stopped me if you were really that afraid.”

Jin rolled his eyes and gathered himself to take one more deep breath, “Okay y/n,” Jin grabbed your hand, “It’s my turn to pick the next ride.” His eyes set on the Ferris wheel at the back of the fair, unnoticed by you. You fell in step with him, a small genuine smile resting on your face. It has been so long since you felt this at peace. It surprised you that even at the place you cherished most with Taehyung, Jin was able to fill your heart with some happiness. Even as you thought of Taehyung throughout the day, all the thoughts were fond and nostalgic. It was a bittersweet feeling but you were not sad or mourning at the moment.

“Hey y/n? Y/N!” You shook your head, focusing on the large hand waving in front of you. “Huh? Sorry?”

Jin’s concerned face stopped in front of you, “Are you okay?”

Your eyes met his, a content smile on your face, “I actually haven’t been this at ease in a long time. Thank you, Jin.” 

The corner of his mouth pulled as he squeezed your hand, “You’re welcome.”

The two of you stood there, in the middle of the walkway, as people rushed by you. It didn’t matter that someone knocked into your shoulder, grumbling at you to move out of the way. The only thing you cared about right now was how the colorful lights of the surrounding rides and booths reflected into his eyes. It was beautiful and mesmerizing.

Jin was staring at you with equal intensity, lost in the way your eyes crinkled on the ends at you smiled at him. He could not remember the last time he saw that smile and it made him adore you more than he already did.

The two of you could have stayed in your little bubble all night if an especially rude teenager shoved you out of his way. You stumbled into Jin, breaking eye contact with him and with it the spell that you were trapped under.

“Uh– I– Sorry,” you rush out, stepping away from him and releasing his hand. 

Jin cleared his throat, “No, it’s– uhm– all good. Don’t worry about it.” He reached up, rubbing the back of his neck. He hoped you didn’t notice the extreme blush he knew he was sporting on his neck and ears. The first awkward silence that night fell between you.

“Anyway…” you tried to break the silence, “What do you want to do now?”

An uncharacteristic nervous smile appeared on Jin’s face, “I know it’s cliché or whatever but how about the Ferris wheel? We don’t have much time left before the fair shuts down for the night. Plus, I think the view of the city must be really pretty at night.” 

Without much of a second of hesitation, you were grabbing Jin’s hand again and dragging him towards the Ferris wheel. It made you nervous, like when you first realized you were at the fair, but you wanted desperately to push past it. You were here with Jin, not Taehyung. It didn’t matter if the Ferris wheel is where you and Tae shared your first kiss at the top like you were in a romantic comedy. Jin was here, not Taehyung.

The two of you remained silent; while waiting in line, while handing your tickets to the attendant, while sitting in the carriage, so close that your shoulders and knees knocked together. It was completely silent between the two of you until you reached the top. Your eyes widened as you took in the beautiful cityscape around you. The twinkling blurry lights of the surrounding buildings reminded you of the stars you longed to see in the sky. It had been hard to see the stars bright enough in the night since moving to the city and you missed them.

“Wow,” you pressed your face against the glass, “You were really not kidding were you, Jin? This is amazing. I can’t believe I haven’t seen the city like this before,” you gushed.

Jin watched as your smile lit up, his heart warmed at the sight of you so happy.

“Hey y/n? I am really proud of you.”

The softness of Jin’s voice pulled you away from the window to look back at him. Your heart clenched at the adoration you saw in his expression. You turned fully back towards him, taking his hands in your lap, silently urging him to continue. “I just want you to know that I am so proud of you. You have been through so much in the past year or so, and here you are—” he tightened his hands around yours, “getting all happy at the sight of city lights like your heart isn’t weighed down anymore. I know you’re nowhere close to being totally okay if you’ll ever be totally okay, but seeing you right now, happy, makes me so proud of you.”

You watched as Jin’s eyes glistened at his confession. Trailing your gaze back to your conjoined hands, you laced your fingers together. “Well…that’s because of you, Jin.” You brought your eyes back to his, your own tears threatening to spill. “You have helped me so much. Without you, I’d probably still be wasting away in my apartment, eating enough to barely survive.”

You hiccupped, smiling through the few tears that did escape, “You brought the life back into me. I’ll never be able to repay you. I am so grateful you are my friend.”

The two of you were so caught in your own emotions that you didn’t even notice how close you two had gotten; your thighs pressed against his, shoulders grazing each other, his warm breath fanning over your face. For the second time that night, you stared into his eyes, mesmerized by the reflecting lights in them. Before you realize it, Jin starts to lean in and so do you.

Your eyes fluttered shut, waiting for the feel of Jin’s lips on yours when what you felt was like two bricks of ice on your shoulders yanked you back.

You leaned back on your hands, eyes wide as you looked at Jin, who was staring back at you like he couldn’t believe what almost happened. You tried to control your breathing as you asked yourself: What was that?

“I– I’m sorry, y/n. I didn’t mean—” Jin cut himself off, tearing his gaze away from you, “I’m sorry.”

The ride lurched forward, propelling the carriage down, ending your time on the ride with Jin. He mumbled how he was sorry again, offering to take you back home right now. You nodded, not knowing what else you could say at that moment. You were still reeling, trying to figure out if you were crazy or not. It definitely felt as if someone grabbed you but obviously no one else was there? Right?

The two of you headed towards the exit, the crowds already thinning because of how late it was. You trailed behind Jin, not daring to fall in step next to him like earlier in the day. The car ride back was bathed in awkward silence. It had never been this uncomfortable being with Jin, even when he first came back into your life. The only words leaving his mouth was a whisper of goodnight as he left you at the front door of your apartment.

You wished you said something, anything that would bring back the ease you felt with him but you didn’t have the words. You were unable to reassure him that it wasn’t his fault because you didn’t know whose fault it was. Your mind was racing; was it the same thing as the cold breeze you always felt? It felt much more intense than you ever remember it feeling.

All you knew is that as you sat on your kitchen floor, the same position as you cried yourself asleep not too long ago, longing for someone other than Taehyung, wishing the night had ended differently.

~

Taehyung's glare could kill as he watched Jin drop you off at the apartment. Jin had blatantly flirted with you the entire day, at the same place he had done years prior. That was the final straw for him.

When he saw you two on the Ferris wheel, in his spot, leaning towards each other for a kiss, something in him broke. He lunged for you, desperate to stop the kiss before it even happened. He wasn’t thinking straight, he just needed for Jin to get away from you.

The plan worked, if you could even call it a plan, and your little date with Jin came to a crashing end. Taehyung thought it was a success but seeing you sitting there on the ground confused got him thinking again. You knew a comforting presence surrounded you, that much he could tell when you would relax under his touch, but why haven't you connected the dots that it was him? It had been over a year and the desperation he felt months prior was heating up to a boiling point.

He had hugged you, caressed and kissed your face, supported your whole body weight even. He had to do something more. Energy thrummed through his body more so than ever before in all the attempts to get you to recognize him. He felt it in his bones that it would be different tonight.

His eyes snapped to you, hearing you sigh. You willed yourself up, resigning to try and sleep today off, and talk to Jin about everything tomorrow. He deserved to know that the night ended in ruin was not his fault. You were slowly dragging your feet across the floor, heading towards the bathroom, when you felt it. A cool breeze against your neck.

You froze in your spot. Fervent cold kisses pressed against your exposed shoulder, causing you to shudder. There was the phantom touch again, it was comforting like always. It was as if it knew when you needed it. However, this time was different. Accompanying the cold pecks was a buzz of electricity, nothing that shocks you but something that lightly warms you up. You close your eyes, reveling in the touch.

Like similar times before this, you try to remember where the familiar feeling came from. The sensations on your neck slowly became less and less abstract as they start feeling more than just cold spots. The touch formed into something you knew, lips.

You gasp, eyes flying open. Your heartbeat raced as you stared through the open bathroom door at the mirror on the wall. Taehyung.

You couldn’t blink, you couldn’t move a muscle worried that he would disappear at the twitch of a finger. Taehyung, clear as day, was in the mirror attacking your neck with his lips. You shuddered and let out a quiet moan, Tae.

Taehyung immediately stopped, hearing his name. He looked up and your eyes met, the first time you saw his eyes alive since the accident. It seemed as if time stopped as you two stared at each other in the mirror. Your eyes held disbelief while he willed every single emotion he’s had since his death to shine in his gaze. He wanted you to know everything he was feeling because he doubted that he would be able to convey those emotions in words.

Your astonished façade broke, “Taehyung?” you cried out.

He immediately turned you around in his arms and slammed his lips onto yours. Your eyes had screwed shut before turning around in fear he wouldn’t be standing there with you like how you saw in the mirror. The feeling of his hands encasing your wrists felt as real as his lips as they molded against yours. The feeling was euphoric. The crackling of embers burned in the pit of your stomach and the fire grew throughout your body until the cold feeling of his lips was replaced by familiar warmth.

You could not believe this was happening. There was no way this was a dream. It– He felt too real for it to be a dream. All you could do was kiss him back with as much passion as you could muster because you wanted him to know that you still loved him, with everything you had.

The kiss was sloppy as both of you were just desperate to get enough of each other before it was too late. Taehyung let go of your wrists to rest them on the sides of your face, pulling you closer to him. Your hands move to his neck, frantic to touch him as much as you could because he was real, in front of you right now.

The initial spark, the buzz Taehyung felt earlier started to wane. He furrowed his eyebrows, he needs more time. He knew he didn’t have much time left like this, his energy was running low. With great force, he pulled away from your mouth, only to pepper kisses all over your face willing you to remember what they felt like. His body trembled as he pressed one final kiss your forehead and your lips.

And just like that, he vanished, the fire in your body out, like he was blown away with the wind. Your eyes focused straight ahead of you, willing to see him standing in front of you again. Slowly, your fingers grazed your lips. Taehyung. This whole time it was Taehyung. How could you not realize that it was him?

The comfort, the warmth of a fire during a blizzard, the bricks of ice at the fair. It all made sense. It was Taehyung. He didn’t leave you. He never left you.

With that admission hanging in the air, you finally broke down, not with tears of sorrow but tears of joy. He still loved you, you could feel it now, with every caress and every kiss. Relief and excitement ran through your veins as you stood there crying. This could change everything.

Taehyung followed your form as you collapsed onto the bed from exhaustion, not before whispering goodnight to him. He did it. He finally did it. You understood that he never left you, that he still supported and loved you. He should be ecstatic but the smile he wore didn’t reach his eyes.

He didn’t understand. He finally accomplished the goal he had been working towards for a whole year. Something didn’t settle with him and he couldn’t figure it out as he gazed at you in deep sleep. He tried to shake it off and ignore it for now. All he wanted to right now was to lay beside you and bask in your presence because even though you had a nagging feeling in the back of his head he had accomplished his goal. You knew he was around and still loved you, and that was enough for now. 

~

“I am telling you Jin– Taehyung kissed me. I know it was him. I can’t believe I didn’t realize the entire time the ghost was him. How could I have been so dense? But all I know is that Taehyung touched me, kissed me.”

Jin’s eyes widened at the sound of his best friend’s name as the two of you sat silently on a park bench. You had repeatedly called and messaged him, asking to meet up. Now he knew your excitement was about him, it was always about him. Even after over a year, he was still at the forefront of your mind. How was he supposed to compete with someone dead? Would you ever move on? Would you ever think of something more? He thought the day at the fair meant something more to you than just a friendly day out. He wanted it to mean more to you. Was the almost-kiss nothing?

Still, as you gushed over your late fiancé, he couldn’t help the somber smile that settled onto his face. You were smiling and giggling, recounting all the times Taehyung’s ghostly presence comforted you and held you. Your smile was all he really desired. So, he sat back and listened, enjoying the bright light in your eyes as you spoke about the ghost who has haunted you since his death.

“You have to–“

“I believe you,” Jin cut you off, “I haven’t seen you this excited since the day of your engagement.” His smile fell. “What are you going to do about it though? It’s not like Taehyung can actually be here for you in all the ways you need it.”

Taehyung never was the type to resort to violence but the moment your excited rambling ceased at Jin’s words he wanted to punch the shit out of him. He couldn’t follow through with it even if he actually could touch you, because Jin was right.

He wouldn’t be there for you. He wouldn’t be there to whisper sweet nothings into your ear when life got rough. He wouldn’t be there to tell you how proud he was of you when you received a promotion. He was just a ghost. A being that didn’t exist in the physical world. He loved you so much. So much so he forgot the chasm that separated the two of you.

Taehyung foolishly believed that his love could conquer death. How could it? Love stronger than death existed but not in the way in fairytales where he could be magically brought back to life with a spell or a kiss from his true love. There was nothing, no magic spell, no higher power to pray to, that would bring him back, back into your arms.

Taehyung realized at that moment he had to let you go.

It should not have been hard. He died but something kept him here. He always thought it was his love for you that kept him on Earth but maybe, maybe his purpose was to help you move on, not bring back memories and feelings you would never feel again with him.

He needed to let go of the only warmth left in his soul…for you.

Despite you and Jin sitting on a park bench, in a crowded park, in the middle of the city, it was silent. Your mind zeroing in on the words that had just come out of your friend’s mouth. Jin’s question wasn’t unreasonable, all it did was bring reality crashing back into your head. Tae was a ghost, spirit, or whatever energy he manifested. He was no longer alive, no longer a human being walking on the same physical plane as you. No matter how much love there was to try and cheat it.

You gazed into Jin’s eyes. You felt all the concern, all the worry he hid for your sake. “Jin– I–“ You huffed frustrated, casting your eyes downwards to the hands in your lap, “You’re right, you’re right. Even if it was really him there’s no point to hope. What is there to hope for anyway? He’s not going to materialize in front of me if I miss him enough.”

Your hands shot up to cover your face as you tried to hold in a sob. You missed Taehyung so much.

“Hey, hey, I didn’t say that to make you upset. I’m sorry,” Jin gently pried your hands away from your face, holding onto them, and gazed into your teary eyes, “It’s an amazing thing you know? Knowing that there is something after death and he is watching over you.” Jin brought a calloused hand towards your face, brushing away the tears that escaped.

“There is nothing wrong in still loving him, still continuing to love him. He’ll always occupy a part of your heart even as you learn to move on. It’s okay.”

Jin was so close. You could see the glisten of sweat on the bridge of his nose and the bow of his lips from the hot day, the slight furrow of his eyebrows, the flush of his cheeks, the reflection of your eyes in his.

Your heart ached, staring at him. So many familiar emotions bubbled up to the surface. Jin was there when you literally couldn’t leave the bed. Jin was there when you needed a shoulder to cry on, the only one you let see your tears since Taehyung died. Jin was there when you laughed for the first time since the accident, caused by one of his infamous dad jokes. Jin was there the first time you felt Taehyung, the coldest warmth. Jin had been there for you and he was still here listening to you cry about a boy that had been gone for almost two years now. Still here even after you rejected his advance earlier at the fair.

Your eyes flickered to his lips, then back to his eyes, and all at once you realized Jin loved you the same way Taehyung did, in all your grieving mess, he loved you. You cared for Jin too, it wasn’t as strong as love, at least not yet. You wanted to show Jin how much you cared for him.

That’s when you felt it. A cold hand guiding your lips toward his.

The kiss was chaste and quick, you afraid of crossing a line. Shyly looking up at Jin through your eyelashes, you waited for a sign, anything that said he wanted this right now. Jin’s eyes were wide, mouth slightly ajar not believing that you were the one to kiss him first.

“It’s okay,” you whispered against his lips, “I want this.”

“But– you just– you,” Jin stuttered out. He couldn’t believe that this was the same person just 10 minutes ago raving about a phantom kiss from their dead partner.

“I know,” you murmured, face still close to his as your hands rose to rest at the nape of his neck, “I know but it’s you who I want right now.” His eyes locked with yours, the intensity raising the already pounding beat of your heart. You hoped you could convey how sincere you were. It wasn’t love yet but you had intense feelings for Jin, and with Taehyung’s blessing, you wanted Jin’s lips on yours.

“Please…” you sigh, softly brushing your nose against his, desperate to close the small distances between your mouths.

That seemed to be the final push he needed before Jin connected to his lips to yours. Your eyes fluttered shut. The feeling was electric, the buzz spreading from where you two connected filling you up all the way to your toes. Jin reached up; one hand cupping your face, thumb caressing your cheekbone, the other resting on the side of your neck. You pulled him closer to you, deepening the kiss.

Jin’s soft pillowy lips worked hard against yours. The kiss was sweet and careful as if Jin was afraid he was just dreaming and you would run away at any second. Your hands traveled to the nape of his neck, playing with the hair there. The buzz settled and left an intense warm feeling, different from what you felt with Taehyung. It was as if you were swimming in the heat of the sun, while Taehyung’s felt like a comforting fire amid winter.

You couldn’t help the bright smile creep on your face as you kissed Jin back with even more need, hoping he could feel your happiness through your actions. Jin matched your smile, teeth clashing for a moment, relieved that this wasn’t a mistake or a dream.

The two of you broke apart, panting heavily as you caught your breath.

You let your forehead drop against his, closing your eyes. The emotions dancing around in your chest were overwhelming. So many thoughts ran through your head but the one prevailing emotion, that outshined the rest, was euphoria. Nothing could compare to Jin’s kiss except for the familiar elation that you felt when you had your first kiss with Taehyung but that didn’t matter anymore. This was the last time you were going to compare Jin and Taehyung together, the only two men that have captured your heart.

You would sort out your emotions more clearly later, all you wanted right now was to focus on the fast but comforting tempo of Jin’s heartbeat as you cuddled into his chest.

~

It took almost a full year after your first kiss with Jin to make things official. You still had a lot of healing to do and he was ever so patient with you. That fateful kiss helped you realize Jin could be the new happiness, the new light in your life. You had to thank Taehyung for that.

Without his blessing, you were sure you would have never moved on. It brought a bittersweet smile to your face every time you thought about him but as Jin said about a year ago there is nothing wrong in still loving him. You still loved Taehyung, you always would. He owned a part of your heart forever. Loving Jin allowed you to grow, to blossom into something different but still you.

“Babe? Are you almost done in there? We have to leave in the next ten minutes if we don’t want to be late.”

You looked back at Jin through the mirror you faced as you got ready. Tonight was date night and the two of you were traveling outside the city to a drive-in movie theater, where you hoped to see stars in the night sky. You were ecstatic. “Just give me another minute, I am almost done,” you beamed, drying the last section of wet hair, “I refuse to get a cold.”

Jin chuckled, turning away and heading back to the kitchen. You finished drying your hair and stopped to study your reflection in the steamy mirror. The dark circles you thought would be a permanent feature on your face had disappeared, the color in your cheeks was back to their naturally rosy state, the smile on your face was genuine. You looked happy.

Taking a deep breath you turned to head out with Jin when something in the mirror caught your eye. In the still steamy mirror, in the bottom corner, a small shape was drawn. A heart.

You teared up, glancing around the empty bathroom, “I love you too,” you whispered. With one last sweet smile, you finally turned and left the bathroom, calling after Jin.

Taehyung watched from the bathroom as you and Jin wrapped your arms around each other, heading out with soft smiles. A bittersweet feeling ached in his chest. He fulfilled his purpose, his goal ever since you recognized his touch for the first time two and a half years ago. The bright smile was on your face and you were happy. You still loved him and he still loved you, and you knew it still after he couldn’t form the words to say it.

All Taehyung had to do was to wait for the sweet oblivion to take him as you moved on from him. He was ready; happy that you would always love him and remember him. He was ready to fade away, content to live in your loving memory.

~please give me that sweet good feedback, i’d really appreciate it~

[sabinefm]

( bruna marquezine , cis female , peach ) welcome to aida&stefano , SABINA REUBE ! thank you for choosing to stay here. in this form it says that you go by the SHE / HER , you’re TWENTY THREE years old , you’re originally from SAN FRANCISCO , and you’ve been staying here for ONE YEAR . it also says you’re known to be + RESOURCEFUL , but also - SELFISH. that really shouldn’t be a problem though. check in at the front , hope you enjoy your stay ! (the click of heels, hot sand under your bare feet, chocolate covered strawberries, the imprints a bra leaves on your skin, red lipstick staining your fingertips )

ABOUT THE MUN.  i hope this email never finds you 

hello all, my name is pepper and i have never been on time for anything, ever in my life sdjkdskj this is especially true today, rip. no but honestly, i never thought i would actually get accepted into this beautiful rp so i stalled checking acceptances cause i’m a Scaredy Cat and that made me really late, and then i ended up taking the rest of my coworker’s shift cause she had to go and thus ended up coming home even later than i thought which has made me really really late... BUT against all the odds i’m here! and ready to party! and tell y’all about my bby sabina! but first a little bit about me, i am twenty four (ew), i can’t cook (rip), and i currently spend most of my lonely quarantine days either watching anime or scrolling through tiktok. i am canadian but every canadian that meets me thinks i’m american and i don’t know why. when i was a child i had an irrational (or yk very rational) fear of sharkboy from sharkboy and lava girl, and tbh it has never left me. i was also afraid of gill from kim possible so you can imagine my horror when that fish f*cking movie won an oscar?? when i was younger i also thot god looked like king triton from the little mermaid cause he was white and he had a beard yk. it fit in my little brain. and finally i just recently discovered girl in red and therefore feel like i finally got my bi girl card,,, feeling validated in this chillis tonight. and if that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about me idk what will. anyways, that’s officially enough about me onto who we’re all really here for, ms sabine!

BIO.  the lengths i would go to to both get attention and avoid it... astounding  tldr ; daughter of a guy who created a dating site + app, came to a&s after leaving her husband to be at the alter after catching him cheating with her mother, wants to be a bad bitch, sometimes succeeds. 

THEN.

sabina came into the world the child of a mediocre stay at home mom and a penniless entrepreneur so it goes without saying that she had very little. her dad had a lot of passion and a lot of drive but no one would really give him a chance, and her mother kind of only married the man because she was expecting him to make it big enough for her to never have to work another day in her life so? yeah she was hella disappointed tbh 

but not sabina! she looked up to her father so much as a child. while her mom was kind of ~emotionally unavailable~ her father was too, but like at least he had a dream he believed in, yk? he wanted to help people fall in love and sabine being the big romantic she was as a child had never heard of anything so noble. her daddy was her hero. sabina honestly had big daddy’s little girl vibes until she was like 22 tkjsdkjd

one day when their family credit card got rejected one too many times sabina’s mother called it quits on yk the whole mother gig. she left sabina on a bench outside of the grocery store while she went to go home and ‘get some cash’ which even at seven sabine knew was a damn lie cause they were too broke to have any damn cash. and yeah that was the last sabina heard of her for a long ass time. it was a reverse ‘dad went to get some cigarettes’ situation but just as traumatic honestly. 

although not as much for sabine’s dad. that man literally saw his wife leaving him as a minor setback and moved on. he threw himself harder into his work, to the point where sabine barely saw him. this was the start of sabine desperately trying to compete with her father’s business for even a sliver of his attention. this was a battle she usually lost. 

sabine raised herself for a while there, since her father yk remarried his job and her mother was following the jonas brother’s cross country. she became both very independent and very lonely for a child, which was an odd combination that both haunted sabine for pretty much the rest of her life after that point and lead her to make most of her worst decisions. but that’s a story for another time, because right when all hope was lost sabine’s father won the lottery. literally. 

all at once they were five million dollars richer. they went from nothing to everything real quick. and this marked a change in the reube’s lives in a way sabine couldn’t have even imagine at the time. 

sabine’s father hector used the money to fund his business and that shit blew up! he created a site by the name of loveisblind that was in the ring with the likes of match.com and christianmingle yk, one of those dating sites. everyone on loveisblind is set up on blind dates based on the information they fill out on their profile and are only allowed to see each other when they reach a certain point of emotional intimacy. the site had wild success rates, and got very popular, blah, blah, the point was the reubes? suddenly rich af!

and you think that would give hector more time to spend with his daughter right? no. it gave hector the money to hire nannies for his daughter. 

yes, somehow despite hector no longer having to work himself to the bone, sabine saw him even less. tragic really. she really became that lonely rich girl trope real quick, and this is what unfortunately got sabine into the habit of seeking the attention she wasn’t getting from her father in other men and women, which she is not proud of. 

that unfortunately didn’t fill the void that sabine had but you know what did? making the loveisblind app so her daddy would love her. basically around the time that tinder started gaining traction and getting popular, people stopped going on the loveisblind site and started instead turning to apps. her father was trying and failing to get into that market, and sabina, being yk, actually a lot more intelligent than her father ever gave her credit for, created the app for his site and pitched it to him over his lunch one day. it was honestly one of the first times sabina can remember her father really paying attention to her in the longest time. it was also the proudest she’s ever seen him. 

the app was a big success! a whole new generation was using it and finding love, including one ms sabine reube. in the early days of the app launch sabine met her prince charming, christopher ‘kit’ johannson. he swept her right off her feet, and she fell HARD, and when they debuted their relationship it wasn’t long until they kind of became the face of the app?? like sabine’s father was the creator after all, the fact that his daughter found love on the app too was big news for a while. people followed their relationship and strived for something like that for themselves. sabine didn’t know it at the time but they were basically a walking advertisement, and her father was LIVING for that.

fast forward a bit and your girl went to yale for computer engineering and business (did her daddy’s status and money ease the way? maybe man, nepotism am i right) whilst kit went to harvard, they were long distance for a bit before they graduated and kit very publicly proposed (the whole thing was well recorded too, gotta get that gram), and then both sab and kit moved in together and both started working for their families respective companies. it was around then that sabine started to understand just how much and how often kit was cheating on her. it was a real wakeup call. 

sabine ended up breaking down to her father about her suspicions, and he basically ended up telling her to suck it up and think of the business. the fact was sabine and kit, the face of their new generation and one of the first successful couples from the app getting married and living happily ever after was amazing for the company. and the two of them calling the whole thing off just because of a little infidelity just wasn’t going to cut it. 

now once again, this is where sabine’s deep desire to be loved and accepted really bites her in the ass. this was one of the first times sabine’s father had ever really asked her for anything so... she did it. or at least she did her best to do it. she lasted until the wedding day around the time where she caught kit and her own mother (who she only invited out of a deep rooted need to actually know the woman who gave birth to her again) going at it in the coat closet of their wedding venue. yeah, at that point sabine pretty much snapped, blacked out, smashed a whole wedding cake over kit’s head, and took their honeymoon to venice on her own. she arrived at Aida&Stefano with running mascara in a ruined wedding dress trying to ask about a honeymoon suite. it was a whole mess, but you know what so is sab so at least she was on brand. 

NOW.

after sabina arrived she spent about a week mourning her failed almost-marriage and yk, destroyed family before she decided to fuck it all and reinvent herself. she desperately wanted to become someone new, someone unrecognizable from who she was before, even if it was only on the inside. so she cut her hair (the first step to every transformation) hardened everything soft about herself and made the irrevocable decision to become a bad bitch. she (mostly) succeeded. kind of. 

sabine basically curb stomped out the soft, hopeless romantic people pleaser in her and decided to become someone more unsympathetic. someone who puts her own needs first instead of burning herself up to keep others warm (cause what good has that ever done her before?). someone who people would be afraid to hurt but who wouldn’t even feel pain anyways. and to sum it up that person is a heartless bitch. or at least she tries to be.

i’m gonna stop here because this is already a lot longer than i wanted it to be and i haven’t even got to the other sections yet rip but you get the point i feel

PERSONALITY.  *feels nothing* mmm, don’t like that *feels something but like too much* mmm not a fan of that either 

most of this is tbd because i’m still developing her but

VAIN. the kind of girl who will file her nails or check herself out in the mirror while you’re talking to her. will reapply her lipstick in the rearview mirror of her car while she’s driving. checks herself out in any reflective surface, i mean i would too if i looked like bruna but Still 

KIND. even though sab tries to be a hard ass she’s probably the most loyal, generous, kind person you would ever meet deep down. like she puts on this persona of being heartless, but if anyone needs her she will be there for them. kind of hates that she’s such a softie sometimes but she can’t help it. 

EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE. doesn’t want to be hurt again and will do pretty much anything to avoid that. tries to keep people at arms length especially romantically. loves making friends though, and will indeed spoil them. 

HEADCANNONS.  who wants to hire me as their maid i’m not gonna clean im just gonna wear a cute maid outfit dust like 6 things and bend down a lot

has the vibes of that drunk rich aunt that’s always smoking like sexily as she looks far into the distance and wears like a super luxurious coat. will gossip with you. will buy you things your mom won’t. will cuss out your toxic father at the dinner table. that’s her energy.

unfortunately actually does smoke. i hate 

okay fun fact, the only reason sabine went to university for computer programming and business was because she felt her father wanted her to. she honestly has no real passion for the subject and just wanted to use her talent to make her father as proud of her as he was on the day she debuted that app to him. but now that making daddy proud isn’t like the only thing occupying her entire brain sabine like is like ??? wait what do i actually want to do with my life ??? and it took her a while to figure it out but after a while she fell back on one of her passions, art. she’s actually making a graphic novel aimed towards young adults about a modern day hades and persephone vibe, kind of about a girl who falls in love with the grim reaper and the lengths she goes to to chase after her (yes it is a Lady Reaper) into the depths of hell,,, it’s wild. she’s very proud of it but also kind of shy about it tbh. her go to critic is georgio, because she knows that little shit will be honest and yk what she respects that. 

but when it comes to making actual money your girl turns to cam work most of the time, because well. at the very least it’s quick, easy, and semi discreet. and sometimes she gets something out of it too. she figures it’s a win win, and she’s been doing it for about a year now, mostly because she absolutely refuses to use any of her father’s money. 

is allergic to cucumber. 

has a different 'relationship’ like every week or so, along with a few one night stands peppered in. unfortunately still attracted to people who are bad for her (kit for example was an asshole and a cheater and DEFINITELY conservative like she messed up on that one), but is also very afraid of falling in love again and letting herself get hurt, so she normally doesn’t let things last too long before she starts self sabotaging. 

if you ever catch sabine with like... her nails growing out or her nail polish chipped, something is wrong. like something is deeply wrong. sabine will have her nails done in the middle of the apocalypse, the only reason they would be less than perfect is if she is having a breakdown. always has colour on her nails, and usually it’s a shade of red, purple, or black. 

always has wild ass stories to tell about her tinder dates or one night stands and will tell them without shame for your entertainment. is a great storyteller honestly, a talent she got from her mother but she doesn’t want to admit that. 

fun fact, her mother mariah was PISSED when hector got rich AFTER she left him and tried for years to sue him or something but no dice. she was so angry and vengeful over the whole thing that she took the opportunity of being invited to her daughters wedding to get back at her husband where it hurt, his business. thus sleeping with kit. didn’t really think about how her daughter might feel about the whole thing because she was yk blinded by rage, but that’s just how mariah is so i mean,,, rip sabina. 

shops when she’s sad, or happy, or angry, or confused sdkjdsj will use any excuse to shop, and at this point she has more clothes than she knows what to do with. her style can be kind of out there at times, but she will let you borrow things though. 

she has a cat named momo. yes that is inspired by her being the peach skeleton. also has a parrot named poe i think. i also have the urge to give her a snake but... i will resist. so sabine wants a snake for sure 

her favourite colours are black and red

she is a horrible terrible driver. don’t drive with sabine unless you’re an adrenaline junkie or like want to die tbh 

her dad 100% set up the relationship between kit and sabine as a pr stunt, but sabine doesn’t know that yet and when she finds out her father used her like that ooh boy things are gonna get wildt. as it is now sabine just thinks she disappointed him and it’s kind of eating her alive. half the reason she’s staying here is because she doesn’t want to face him or yk her old life anymore. her father is so caught up in the shame she caused him that he hasn’t even tried to call her after the whole thing and the one time sabine got hella drunk and called him all he did was tell her what a disappointment she was and ask when she was coming back to work so we love ~parenting~

WANTED CONNECTIONS. girls will “🥺🥺🥺🥺” their way out of everything

close friends please and thanks, best friends also please, uh, can i get some awkward one night stands that avoid each other at all cost, can i get a neighbour who’s ear sabine is always talking off in the hallway between their rooms even tho they just want to go home but can’t because sabine is Oversharing, maybe a flirtationship, but also i would love an enemy (it could be for a ridiculous reason or a completely valid reason but either way please give it to me), someone she goes out dancing/partying with at piccolo, a sibling like relationship, a confidante, someone who she trusts to read her comic and maybe even do some linework, and absolutely anything else okay my brain is fried rn but i want it all! please like this and i will slip and slide into your dms <3

[seolcs]

           °✧｡× :  (   moon  gayoung  +  cis  female  +  she  /  her  )   ───   welcome  to  roselake  village  ,  SEOLA  LIM  !   oh  ,  well  ,  i  suppose  you’ve  been  here  for  ALL  YOUR  LIFE  ,   so  perhaps  you  already  know  your  way  around  the  town  .   well  ,   you  are  the  TWENTY  THREE  year  old  LIBRARIAN  ,  though  ,  right  ?  the  harvest  sprites  told  me  about  you  !  they  said  you  DO  believe  in  the  harvest  goddess  .  oh  ,  my  .  well  ,  that  explains  why  they  also  said  you’re  quite  BEWITCHING  and  SEDULOUS  ,  but  can  also  be  a  bit  ENIGMATIC  and  MERCURIAL  .  either  way  ,  you  should  be  a  wonderful  addition  to  our  island  !  i  guess  i’ll  leave  you  to  it  now  ,  but  if  i  need  you  ,  i  suppose  i’ll  just  look  for  you  at  THE  MAGIC  SHOP ,  yeah  ?  we  hope  you  love  it  here  as  much  as  we  do  !  oh  ,  and  remember  not  to  go  into  the  tulsy  woods  !  the  distorted  hum  of  opera  music  just  out  of  reach  ,  dirt  caked  underneath  fingernails  ,  eyes  that  know  more  than  lips  tell  !  ✧ 

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     QUICK  STATS  !

full  name  :  seola  lim  .

nickname(s)  :  lala  (  yea  like  the  teletubby ...  it  was  a  childhood  nickname  </3  )

zodiac  :  pisces  sun  ,  virgo  moon  (  click   !  )

sexuality  :  bisexual  . 

occupation  :  librarian  &  witch  .

birthplace  :  roselake  village  ,  maine  .

current residence  :  roselake  village  ,  maine  . 

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     BACKSTORY  !  (  tw  :   vague  mentions  of  an  accident   )

she’s  a  fraternal  twin  <3  if  u  read  julie’s  intro  u  know  ,  but  seola  and  sora  are  the  daughters  of  roselake’s  mayor  !   she  was  born  a  whole  ten  minutes  after  her  sister  so  she  takes  pride  in  not  being  the  hag  ...  sora  is  so  brave  for  her  sacrifice  

so  their  dad  is  the  mayor  !  he’s  been  roselake’s  mayor  for  a  while  now  ,  keeps  getting  reelected  bc  why  fix  something  that  seems  to  be  working  right  ..  aha  more  about  that  later  ...  &  their  mom  is  a  witch  !  only  on  the  down  low  though  ,  she’s  not  open  about  practicing  magic  &  is  much  better  known  for  and  adored  for  her  philanthropy  around  roselake  !  both  sora  and  seola  have  the  ability  to  use  magic  ,  but  while  the  gift  seemed  to  come  naturally  to  sora  ,  seola  high  key  struggled  with  it  /:

their  mom  was  a  very  patient  teacher  but  that  didn’t  stop  seola  from  feeling  inferior  to  both  her  sister  as  well  as  her  powers  in  general  .  she  very  much  felt  like  a  big  flop  ,  and  as  a  kid  &  preteen  she  struggled  a  lot  with  jealousy  and  frustration  and  just  feeling  second  best  in  a  sense  ?  basically  she  really  felt  like  she  was  letting  everyone  down  when  in  reality  the  only  person  who  was  putting  pressure  on  her  was  herself 

in  good  old  2010  ...  13  year  old  seola  &  sora  snuck  into  tulsy  woods  (  even  though  their  dad  always  said  never  to  go  in  there  )  to  play  around  with  their  magic  ,  got  into  an  argument  ,  and  that’s  when  seola  accidentally  ended  up  hurting  sora  really  really  badly  ): 

after  the  accident  seola  wanted  to  give  up  magic  forever  ,  but  her  mom  convinced  her  that  the  best  way  for  her  to  get  over  her  fear  of  ever  hurting  someone  again  was  to  practice  .  so  while  sora  got  closer  to  their  father  ,  who  had  covered  up  the  accident  in  the  woods  and  used  it  to  spread  his  own  agenda  ,  seola  got  much  closer  with  their  mom  

determined  to  get  better  at  controlling  her  abilities  and  also  super  terrified  that  she’d  hurt  someone  like  she’d  hurt  her  sister  if  she  didn’t  ,  seola  practiced  and  practiced  ...  then  she  practiced  some  more  .  while  most  people  her  age  were  going  through  high  school  focused  on  going  to  college  afterwards  ,  seola  was  counting  down  the  days  til  she’d  be  free  to  do  nothing  but  learn  as  much  as  she  could  about  being  a  witch  

it  was  around  this  time  she  also  started  to  get  ...  suspicious  about  her  dad  and  his  intentions  .  she  was  grateful  that  he  didn’t  tell  the  truth  about  the  accident  ,  scared  ppl  would  have  viewed  her  as  a  monster  if  they  knew  what  really  happened  ,  but  the  way  her  dad  was  acting  about  tulsy  woods  was  super  suspicious  especially  with  everything  happening  with  the  harvest  goddess  and  the  sprites .  basically  ...  seola  suspects  he  might  have  something  to  do  with  whatever’s  going  on  in  the  woods  ... 👁️👁️

after  high  school  seola  stayed  in  roselake  !  she  didn’t  go  to  college  like  sora  ,  much  to  her  dad’s  dismay  ,  but  she  did  take  some  online  classes  here  &  there  (  mysticism  and  rituals  ,  alchemy  ,  some  history  ones  ,  as  well  as  a  medieval  monsters  literature  class  ...  just  for  fun  <3  )  she  also  snagged  a  job  at  subtext  as  a librarian  ,  mainly  for  that  sneaky  access  to  all  the secret garden  books  

initially  she’d  just  been  curious  about  her  own  magic  ,  since  she  knows  it  doesn’t  come  from  the  harvest  goddess  like  a  sprite’s  magic  does ,  but  with  everything  going  on  she’s  extended  her  research   to  include  both  the  goddess  &  the  sprites  to  see  if  maybe  she  can  understand  whatever  her  dad  is  trying  to  do  in  roselake  

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     PERSONALITY  +  TIDBITS  !

not  2  be  cliche  but  she  really  is  a  mysterious  girl  SJDBWJBDJW  since  she’s  haunted  by  the  idea  that  she’s  essentially  always  on  the  brink  of  losing  control  and  hurting  someone  again  like  she  did  with  her  sister  ,  she’s  got  a  very  elusive  personality  .  she  tries  her  best  not  to  get  too  close  with  anyone  ,  but  unfortunately  for  her  it’s  the  kind  of  cool  and  detached  air  about  her  that  usually  makes  people  curious  to  know  her  ,  especially  since  her  twin  sister  is  so  seemingly  open  &  very  focused  on  her  reputation  in  roselake  .  seola’s  always  tells  herself  stuff  like  oh  to  be  a  fly  on  the  wall  ...  😔  but  the  reality  is  she  doesn’t  want  to  be  invisible  to  people  at  all  ,  she’s  just  traumatized  from  the  accident  in  tulsy  woods  /: 

so  you  have  her  enigmatic  persona ... versus  her  deep  desire  to  be  understood  and  loved  despite  whatever  dangerous  and  uninhibited  thing  she’s  convinced  lurks  around  inside  her .  yeah  ...  she’s  not  so  good  at  following  her  own  don’t  get  too  close  with  people  rule  SJDBWJDJW  most  of  the  time  what  ends  up  happening  is  her  pushing  those  who  are  already  close  away  ,  only  to  reach  for  them  again  later  ,  only  to push  them  away  ...  you  get  it  .  it’s  easy  to  write  her  off  as  a  moody  rich  girl  if  you’re  not  in  her  circle  ,  but  it’s  deeper  than  that 

she’s  got  a  bad  habit  of  fixating  on  things  and  then  letting  them  consume  her  .  sometimes  it  works  to  her  benefit  ,  like  focusing  so  hard  on  practicing  her  magic  and  finally  becoming  good  at  it .  most  of  the  time  ,  though  ,  her  curiosity  morphs  into  obsession  ,  and  it’s  very  easy  for  her  to  get  overwhelmed  and  feel  lost 

she  has  a  big  old  soft  spot  for  creepy  or  spooky  things  and  people  ,  100%  believing  that  more  often  than  not  the  stuff  we’re  afraid  of  is  stuff  we  just  don’t  understand  .  sometimes  ,  though  ,  her  attraction  to  the  “  dark  ”  is  a  manifestation  of  her  own  internalized  belief  that  there’s  something  wrong with  her  &  that  she’s just  as  capable  of  bad  as  she  is  good  ... cannot  believe  freud  just  possessed  my  body  like  that  😳 

if  she  was  an  animal  she’d  for  sure  be  a  cat  JSBDJWBDJW  comes  &  goes  as  she  pleases  ...  affectionate  &  warm  on  her  own  terms  ...  sometimes  she  brings  people  weird  gifts  that  are  only  really  gifts  in  her  eyes  ...  yea  <3  

high  key  has  a  huge  guilt  complex  bc  of  that  juicy  unresolved  childhood trauma  !  that  and  the  fact  that  she’s  pretty  sure  her  family  is responsible  for  hurting  so  many  other’s  in  roselake  ...  it’s  a  lot  .  so  even  though  she’s  not  as  warm  and  friendly  as  sora  is  ,  she’s  just  as  kind  ...  maybe even  too  kind  sometimes  ,  she  just  feels  like  she  has  a  lot  to  prove  &  make  up  for  yk  

voted  most  likely  to  dump  you  &  say  it’s  not  you  ,  it’s  me  ):  

big  fan  of  creating  ambiance  she’s  all about  turning  of  the  big  lights  and  turning  on  a  lamp  ... maybe  lighting  some  candles  if  she’s  feeling  crazy  idk ... 

if  you  don’t  know  she’s  a  witch  you  probably  think  seola’s  about  to  drop  the  hottest  skincare  line  of  2020  because  she  do  be  collecting  those  herbs  and  oils 

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     WANTED  CONNECTIONS  !  (  all  open  to  all  genders  )

BEST FRIENDS  :  technically  sora  is  always  gonna  be  her  number  one  best  friend  🥺  but  i  would  really  love  for  seola  to  have  at  least  one  person  who  really  truly  knows  her  ,  someone  she’d  drop  anything  for  to  help  them  if  they  needed  &  vice  versa  !   

CHILDHOOD /  FAMILY FRIENDS : open  to  muses  that  grew  up  in  roselake  !  maybe  their  parents  are  friends  ,  or  maybe  they  were  just  neighbors  or  in  the  same  classes  in  elementary  school  .  i  have  ...  lots  of  ideas  for  this  trope  hehe  <3  give  me  someone  who  seola  pushed  off  the  swings  when  they  were  tiny  and  now  they’re  still  sworn  enemies  to  this  day  ...  childhood  friends  that  stayed  close  ,  but  after  the  accident  in  tulsy  woods  seola  distanced  herself ,  someone  who  was  technically  her  first  love  who  she  probably  had  a   little  wedding  ceremony  with  when  they  were  like  five  with  candy  rings  ,  childhood  friends  that  grew  apart  and  now  it’s  sad  and  awkward  ,  childhood  friends  that  stayed  close  and  have  embarrassing  stories  to  tell  about  each  other  ...  i’ll  stop  here  JSDBJWD    

CONFIDANTS  :  the  one  person  seola  keeps  finding  herself  talking   to  about  the  things  she  usually  keeps  inside  &  they  do  the  same  with  her  .  i  think  it’d  be  funny  if  both  of  them  find  it  weird  to  do  things  like  go  out  to  lunch  or  shop  together  because  that’s  not  what  they’re  used  to 

SUBTEXT  :  people  who  know  her  from  the  library  !  maybe  your  muse  spends  a  lot  of  time  there  so  they  recognize  seola  (  or  maybe  they  even  go  just  to  see  her  )  ,  maybe  your  muse  needed  help  finding  something  once  and  seola  helped  them  out  &  now  they’re  kinda  pals  ,  or  maybe  your  muse  is  someone  seola’s  requited  to  help  her  out  with  her  own  research  with  the  secret  garden  books    

FRIENDS  THAT  DATED  :  maybe  things  just  ended  amiably  between  them  ,  or  maybe  it’s  like  an  “  everyone  told  us  we  should  date  so  we  tried  it  and  boy  was  that  the  weirdest  thing  we  ever  did  ”  situation  .  either  way  the  outcome  is  they’e  still  friends  <3

CAHOOTS :  what  is  this  you  might  ask  ?  someone  seola  can  be  in  cahoots  with  .  she  has  a  possibly  dangerous  idea  that  no  one  else  is  likely  to  say  yes  to  ?  she  goes  to  your  muse  .  your  muse  has  an  idea  no  one  in  their  right  mind  would  say  yes  to  ?  they  go  to  seola  .  these  two  are  in  cahoots  !  

BAD  INFLUENCE  :  i’d  love  for  someone  who’s  trying  to  get  seola  to  dabble  into  darker  magic  /  abandon  her  quest  to  figure  out  what’s  going  on  in  the  woods  and  save  the  harvest  goddess .  she’s  pretty  hard  to  sway  if  she  thinks  she’s  doing  the  right  thing  ,  so  bonus  points  if  your  muse  is  good  at  manipulation  and  has  a  convincing  case  that’s  more  than  just  oooh  be  bad  ;)  

SPRITES  &  MAGICAL  BEINGS  :  sorry  human  muses  ...  these  are  not  for  you  </3  i  would  love  if  any  of  the  other  witches  /  wizards  helped  seola  on  her  journey  to  practice  her  magic  and  get  better  at  it  !  maybe  someone  who  knows  what  really  happened  with  sora  in  the  woods  but  still  decided  to  help  her  /  not  judge  her  ,  OR  maybe  someone  who  knows  what  she  did  and  is  now  scared  of  her  /  doesn’t  think  she  should  be  doing  magic  still  at  all  .  as  for  sprites  i  think  seola  would  be  super  curious  about  them  &  the  harvest  goddess  ,  so  maybe  some  sprites  who  are  willing  to  talk  about  their  abilities  with  her  and  their  connection  to  the  goddess with  her  &  are  maybe  even  working  with  her  to  try  and  figure  out  what’s  going  on  in  roselake  .  then  on  the  reverse  of  that  maybe  sprites  who  think  seola’s  too  nosy  for  her  own  good  ,  or  who  don’t  trust  her  because  they’re  also  starting  to  get  suspicious  about  the  mayor  ,  or  maybe  they  just  don’t  trust  any  magic  that  doesn’t  come  from  the  harvest  goddess  

MAYOR LIM  :  if  you’re  trying  to  get  to  her  father  for  whatever  reason  ,  sora’s  definitely  the  easier  ticket  in  ,  but  maybe  your  muse  is  trying  to  be  less obvious  about  it  so  they  try  through  seola  !  i  would  also  ...  really  love  someone  she  can  sneak  off  with  during  town  events  where  her  dad  is  involved  when  she’s  supposed  to  be  with  her  family  promoting  that  shiny  lim  reputation  hehe 

SISTER  SISTER  :  connections  through  sora  !  this  is  ...  always  the  best  part  of  having  a  sibling  in  the  same  rp  you  get  to  make  connections  through  them  so  give  me  all  sorts  of  stuff  it  could  be  dramatic  like  your  muse  hurt  sora  &  now  seola  hates  them  or  it  could  be  wholesome  too  !  not  2  be  cliche  but  ...  love  triangle  anyone  ...  just  kidding  ...  unless  ?  🙈  

THE  BIG  EX  :  seola’s  first  real  relationship  ,  and  first  real  heartbreak .  everyone  before  them  had  been  an  unofficial  thing  ,  but  your  muse  was  the  real  deal  .  maybe  one  or  both  of  them  ruined  it  by  being  too  scared  of  their  feelings  to  stick  around  ,  maybe  secrets  and  insecurities  got  the  best  of  them  ,  maybe  one  of  them  was  willing  to  try  but  the  other  wasn’t  .  either  way  it  ended  badly  ,  and  whether  those  feelings  are  resolved  or  not  ...  the  world  is  our  oyster  baby  !  

HOOKUPS  :  friends  with  benefits  and  it’s  not  awkward  between  them  ,  friends  with  benefits  and  it’s  super  weird  between  them  because  they  may  be  crossing  over  into  real  feeling  territory  ,  one  night  stands  /  hookups  that  were  huge  mistakes  ,  one  night  stands  or  hookups  that  were  or  are  being  kept  secret  for whatever reason  ,  someone  who  leads  seola  on  but  never  gets  serious  about  her  ,  or  someone  she  leads  on  but  she  never  gets  serious  about  because  every time  they  get  close  to  anything  real  she’s  pushing  them  away  

WILL  THEY  WON’T  THEY  :  a  friendship  that  always  teeters  on  the  line  of  something  romantic  !  maybe  they’re  both  oblivious  to  the  chemistry  /  tension  or  maybe  they’re  aware  of  it  because  they  get  jealous  when  they  hear  about  the  other  being  with  someone  else  …  maybe  they  refuse  to  do  anything  about  it  because  they  don’t  want  to  complicate  things  or  maybe  they  purposefully  cross  lines  when  they  feel  that  jealousy … could  be  more  angsty  or  it  could  be  more  wholesome  depending  on  which  way  it  goes  😈

i  wont  lie  to  u  ive  been  writing  this  all  day  ...  but  we  finally  made  it  baby  😭😭😭  im  sosososo sorry  for  the  length  &  the  wait  ...  also  i  feel  like  my  charas  always  change  a lil  once  i  actually  start  plotting  &  writing  so  sorry  again  if  u  see  me  finally  writing  as  seola  on  the  dash  and  ur  like  lit  rally  who  is  that  ... JSDBWJBDWBDJ  please come message me on discord to plot  ! @ seulgi ily ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ#8172  maybe ...  give  this  a  like  if  u  wanna  …  do  that  ?  thank  u  for  reading  all  this  ur  so  brave  for  that  stay  sexy  stan  loona x  

[enkisstories]

Just like them (part 9)

Henry Ford Commemorative Park Thursday, November 18, 2038

Three men were trotting down the path towards the small playground with the elephant slide, near the park’s exit. Each of those three was under the impression that he was only the hanger on to the other two:

Daniel thought he was following the detectives around, although he couldn’t explain why he was doing so. Sure, it might count towards his parole assessment, but there were different, and better, ways to accomlish that.

Gavin Reed was tagging along with Anderson and Phillips, both of whom he loathed, although it was somewhat strange to even himself how he was spending so much time with enemies instead of hanging out with his actual friends.

And Lieutenant Anderson felt like the f***ing chaperone to the two younger men on their first date, although he was at a loss how they had ended up in this situation and why in hell it should include him, Hank, in any way, shape or form.

By now the detectives’ destination had come in sight, not the actual playground, but a vending stall right next to it. Around it a mixed crowd of humans and androids had gathered. Among the humans, visitors from outside Detroit were making up the larger fraction, while many of the androids were as new to life as the tourists were to the city. All but a handful of them had gotten woken by either Markus or Connor during the revolution. What all those groups and splinter factions had in common was being angry at what appeared to be everyone else. They were arguing into all directions, to the point where someone had called the DPD for fear the situation might escalate. And although the scale the conflict was on at the moment would have warranted sending a couple of auxiliaries over only, Captain Fowler had dispatched the whole of the Android Related Crime section instead, namely Anderson and Reed.

“Lots of angry kids, ready to kill on a whim”, Daniel commented the sight.

“Hear, hear who’s talking”, Hank grumbled.

“No, for real!” the PL600 insisted. “What do those fledglings have to be angry about? They know nothing about our life before the revolution, they didn’t have to go through increasing program instability and if you mention the “mind palace” to them, they think it is a cool new videogame to be released right in time for the Holiday sales!”

Hank turned his head around. “It’s not?”

“What?” Gavin stopped in his track, dumbfounded. “You are more or less raising a deviant in your home, but don’t know about the mind palace? What kind of shitty father are you?”

“Oh, I damn well know ABOUT the mind palace”, Hank replied. “I just never heard the term and neither did Connor. He had to break through the damn thing in the belly of a wrecked freighter, oil leaking from the ceiling, rats dropping on his shoulders and surrounded by enemies, the most dangerous of them being himself. None of the first generation deviants had the luxury to come up with actual terms for what they went through. Except for, I imagine, a shitload of profanity.”

Daniel nodded. “That’s exactly what I meant! But now there’s all those adult sized toddlers… One moment they were just standing there idly and content, then the next Markus came along and told them what might happen to them. And the next-next thing was Markus’ kids sat downtown on fire! That man hasn’t got the fuggiest idea about parenting!”

But even so Daniel still felt a certain kinship with the deviant leader. Neither android had rebelled against a personal history of constant abuse, to the contrary, both had lived sheltered lives, had known nothing but love. Then one day those lives had broken down around their heads. And now, despite knowing what the world was really like, what they actually remembered and what was shaping their outlook, was that past of having received unconditional support from their families. Only in Markus’s case that memory was more or less reflecting the truth, while in Daniel’s the happy family life had been an illusion.

“To be honest, I never minded my servant role, as long as I was under the impression of being a part of the family”, Daniel mused aloud. “John went to work, Caroline did the socializing and I the housework. We had that sorted out between us, I felt save… But then, without warning…”

Nodding eagerly Gavin finished the sentence for the deviant: “…boom, an RK800 standing in the floor! ‘t was nice knowing you, but you just cannot compete anymore!”

“Yes, exactly!” Daniel chimed in, before his forehead curled up in a frown: “Wait, no, the Phillips wanted to buy an AP700. That blasted RK came only… later.”

“I mean they wanted to replace ME with one!”

“No, they didn’t. Connor is a prototype, he was never meant to remain at the DPD. You they wanted to replace with an RK900.”

“Wow, NOW I feel a fucking lot better!”

Hank was now trailing behind the duo, watching, listening. Android and human, a homemaker and a career minded individual, two very different personalities, but beset of the same fears… Was that how the future would get forged? Markus with his lofty ideals had kicked the android rights movement into motion, because he had been the only deviant who had known respect and developed a healthy dose of self esteem where others had only survival instinct or got driven by the desire to take revenge. But what seemed to really facilitate the change in society was the ordinary everyday spite of people, be they meat or plastic.

Wasn’t that so damn typical? Hank wondered.

By now the crowd had not just noticed the arrivals, but also recognized them for what they were. Just to make sure even the last one got the message, Gavin flashed his police badge.

<<<You’re a detective?>>> one of two stall attendants, a female VB800 android, asked through wireless communication. Obviously Gavin’s “Police Android” disguise in the form a fake LED had fooled her, despite the man lacking the distinctive armored chassis that would have stuck out under his everyday clothing.

The fake LED’s answering machine produced the pre-programmed reply, whereupon the vendor android switched to speaker output and repeated her question: “You’re a detective?”

“I should be sergeant by now, but the bastards are stalling.”

“I imagine! And even though you’re that good to qualify for detective, they still wanted to replace you with an RK800? How typical!”

“That good”… Why did it take a tin can to actually acknowledge that? I work my ass off, and I’m damn well getting results, but all I ever get back is a comment on my “character problems”. And why’s Daniel smiling at me? Ey, I bet it’s trying to grin, but just isn’t build for that.

“What’s bureaucracy for you, toa…” Halfway through his casual insult of “toaster” Gavin caught himself and finished the sentence with a weak “totally”. “But down to business – what’s gotten everyone riled up here that… Hey! I can see you, little rat, down with the spray can!”

A YK android with colorful strands in her hair immediately hid the offending spray can behind her back. Without needing any prompting Daniel strolled over to the android child and crouched down next to her.

“You wanted to paint Jericho’s crest on the booth’s back panel, didn’t you? Do you even know what it looks like?”

“I… sorta. It’s ring and… and… stuff.”

“Here!” Daniel picked a twig up from the ground. “Let me show you!” And then he started sketching Jericho’s symbol into the snow.

With the child occupied and a good number of adults gathering around the scene, Gavin and Hank were free to actually investigate the situation. Even better, the two brief interactions had won the presumed officer trio the crowd’s approval, so they could expect to receive answers instead of insults. Working themselves through their routine dialogue tree, Hank and Gavin learned that there had been an argument over the wares getting peddled at this place: Wooden souvenirs and toys. Handcrafted wooden souvenirs and toys, as the advertisement claimed. But then one of the two android vendors had let slip that she had made some of the merchandise.

“That’s no longer handcrafted!” a tourist complained to Hank “I believe that some of this stuff is the real deal, but most of it is machine-made!”

“Is not! Made by hand is made by hand!”

“No longer when it’s android hands! I mean, you could even swap your hands out!”

“That’s true”, Gavin agreed without thinking. It didn’t especially endear him to the vendor fraction.

“Of course YOU would say that!” an AP700 snapped. “You are with the establishment!”

The android took a few steps closer towards Gavin and the crowd parted for him. There was something about this man, probably his confidence, or his more natural walk style and speech mode, that suggested he wasn’t one of Connor’ basement babies. This one had experienced the old times firsthand, maybe he had even been part of Jericho before Markus.

“Are you even a deviant?” the AP700 challenged.

For an answer Gavin wordlessly stomped his foot down on Hank’s.

“Ouch! Goddammit, you rabid sewer rat of a “detective”, that was unnecessary!” the lieutenant hissed.

Gavin shrugged.

“I had to prove I can hurt humans, is all. Suspect’s all yours now again!”

“Oh, wow, many thanks, fucking deviant!”

The AP700 grinned. The deviant he took Gavin for seemed to have been looking forwards to do this for a long time. It seemed small payback for years of mistreatment by human hands!

It took effort, but Gavin managed to return the android’s grin with a wink. Here he was, winking at an android… And to make matters worse, the man found himself looking around for another one, the pesky PL600 Hank somehow had acquired.

Ah, there he was, gently shoving the YK600 back towards her parents. Or owners. Or whatevers.

“Hey, Reed!” Daniel greeted his weird acquaintance again. “Gavin, was it? Having fun?”

Casting another glance over at the stumbling, muttering Hank, Gavin nodded.

“You know what, I feel like sitting down on a bench and resting my feet”, he said, loud enough for Hank to hear.

Perhaps that was why Daniel still didn’t feel repulsed enough by this man to just walk away. Reed was rarely ever acting or pretending. Well, the was the PC200-disguise, but that was straight up professional. With this human there was no mistaking negligence for kindness. And also, interacting with the worst of humanity softened the blow of having killed a little. Daniel hadn’t been all wrong about this species. He wasn’t the only trash in this town and who knew? With the other trash getting by, stumbling into, but also out, of one catastrophe after the other while somehow still solving cases, there was hope that things might work out for Daniel, too. Somehow…

Together the detective and the android sat down on a park bench.

“Is that a typical work day for you?” Daniel asked with genuine interest.

“Rather slow, actually. How about you? What were you doing in the park? Still going through your old daily routines like a broom fetching water, I bet.”

“A broom… fetching… what?”

“Get an education!”

“Get some social skills!”

Sitting… staring…

Eventually, after making sure that Hank was still talking to the crowd and would not hear his next sentence, Daniel said: “Connor is dead.”

Gavin leaned back and laughed.

“Wasn’t in the news. So unless you did the deed yourself right before we ran into you today, you’re just pulling my leg.”

“Little Connor, I mean. My pet rat.”

Daniel had buried the rat, who had been a companion for a short time only, in the park, like so many hamsters had found their final resting place here, too. In fact, the whole park was sure to be littered with rodent and budgie skeletons. Sometimes the pets’ young owners said their goodbyes at the unmarked graves, but more often than not the family android did it and then returned home with an identical animal to replace the deceased one. Until the same happened to them… Daniel briefly wondered whether maybe an android or two had gotten buried in the park, in secret, to get around the law that treated them as objects?

“Say it again!” Gavin asked, looking expectantly now, like a cat in front of the mousehole where it had noticed movement. Only the butt wiggle was missing.

“Okay, but just once.” Slowly and pronounced Daniel told his little story in the way most pleasing to his audience: “That rat Connor perished. He bit the dust and we won’t hear his irritating, squeaky little noises anymore.”

After having practiced on a nine year old, entertaining Gavin Reed wasn’t that hard anymore. Daniel’s reward was unfettered laughter, with even one or two laughing tears.

“I guess he was old”, Daniel said.

“Or lonely. If you want something more portable than your fishes, drop by my place later and grab a bagful of mice!”

“I didn’t know you liked rodents?”

“My roommates do.”

And that was how Hank Anderson found the unlikely duo: Exchanging addresses.

“What the fuck, Gavin, you’re giving him your number already? Shit got real between you two faster than I expected!”

“He promised me mice, Sir”, Daniel told Hank, just to say something while trying to make sense of the lieutenant’s statement. But Hank only raised his arms up into the air, going “That’s between you young folks! I don’t want to know!” and left the scene laughing, leaving Daniel and the glaring Gavin to their own devices.