#it's all a little bit crusty and that leaves room for things like

[copia]

delighted though i am for ghost's growing success i'm keeping my fingers crossed for an obviously low-budget ghovie like the chapters before it. because the papa nihil darth vader breathing and seestor's car crash montage and the shitty nihil ghost effects and copia living in the hall outside a bathroom with no door etc all add a certain je ne sais quoi

[soaps-mohawk]

Cherry Red, Crimson Blood

Chapter 15: Bonnie

Summary: Your heat is over and your pack has moved on with their lives, settling back into the familiar routine. Except, some things have begun to change, and you're not entirely sure if its for the better.

Pairing: Poly 141 x reader

Word Count: 7456 words

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, smut, oral, handjobs, overstimulation, P in V sex, unprotected sex, creampie, hair pulling, switch Johnny, Johnny's lingerie kink, Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, a/b/o typical classism and sexism, language, mention of nightmares, brief talk about killing and violence, insomnia, fluff, and of course a bit of angst

A/N: This chapter was an absolute bitch to write. I'm not kidding this was a nightmare. I'm happy with the changes I've made though, and how things are progressing. We've made a little bit of a time jump here, but not much. I think I'm getting sick so, posting the chapter before I inevitably pass out again. Oh, and Happy Easter everyone that celebrates.

Want early access to chapters, as well as other bonus content? Consider supporting me on Patreon.

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Your eyes fly open as the alarm blares. They burn as you squint against the bright phone light. An arm reaches over you, the warm skin sliding against your back as he fumbles to turn off the offending noise. 

You let out a quiet groan as you catch the numbers dictating the time on the screen before the phone is placed back on the nightstand. “‘S too early.” You grumble, rubbing at your crusty eyes. 

“Go back to sleep.” John murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder before he shifts, climbing over you to get out of the bed. He tucks the blankets back around you before slipping into the bathroom. 

You won't go back to sleep. The last time you'd glanced at the time on your phone had been two hours ago, at 2 A.M. You’ve been awake most of the night, as you have been the last couple nights. You haven't been sleeping well. It was like your heat opened a floodgate and now every time you close your eyes, you're transported back into the past, back when you were a child. Back when things weren't fine. 

You've started trying to avoid sleep, waking constantly during the night from nightmares or from your brain’s own fear of them starting back up. It’s only been a week since your heat ended, and yet you feel no more rested than you did coming out of it. Nothing you’ve tried has worked, not even staying awake until you inevitably pass out prevents your subconscious mind from pulling up the horrible memories of your past. 

Even sleeping next to your alpha hasn’t provided any comfort for your mind. His presence isn’t enough to quell the fear in your mind that the nightmares might come back, that the memories might surface. 

Even he can’t protect you from this. 

You close your eyes as the bathroom door opens again, pretending to sleep as John dresses for his morning workout. He’s quiet, near silent as he moves about the room. It’s almost terrifying how quiet they can be. Though, you suppose, if your survival depends on it, it’s a skill you’d spend plenty of time honing. 

John grabs his phone from the nightstand, running a gentle hand over your head before he leaves the room, closing the door quietly behind him. You lay there for a few minutes, trying not to let the guilt eat you alive. You should tell them you’re struggling to sleep, that your mind is plaguing you with memories from your past, but you’re afraid of what they might think of you. You’re not the perfect omega, you’re not as whole as you might seem. 

You’re held together with duct tape on the inside. They already have enough to worry about now, they don’t need the weight of your misery thrown on top of the loads they all carry. 

You let out a long breath, turning over in John’s bed. You press your face into the pillow, inhaling the imprint of his scent on the fabric. It’s still warm where he was laying, and you shuffle over into that spot, letting your body go lax as you imagine him still there with you, arms still wrapped around your body. You want to bury yourself in his arms, press against his chest until you sink into him and become one. 

Only then, perhaps you can feel safe enough to sleep. 

You press your face further into the pillow, every inhale filled with John’s scent. It lulls you into a daze, the hypnagogic stage between sleep and wakefulness. 

You jolt as a hand touches your arm, calluses smoothing over the bare skin. You blink your eyes open, letting out a quiet groan. It’s light outside now, the room bathed in white light instead of the yellow tinge of the nightlight John had bought for his room for you.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.” John says, gently squeezing your arm. He’s already dressed for the day, hair still damp from the shower. You hadn’t even noticed he’d returned. 

You roll over, rubbing your eyes. “‘S fine. Didn’t even know I was asleep. Breakfast time?” 

John hums, leaning over you. “Almost. You’ve got time to get ready.” 

You blink up at him blearily, your mind still trying to wake up completely after your short nap. You stare up into his eyes, getting lost in their blue depths. You feel like you could swim in them, his deep earthy scent drawing forward memories of camping and swimming in the lake. Memories you could pretend were happy, memories not tainted by fear and grief. 

“Christ,” He breathes, pressing his lips to yours. “So fucking beautiful.” 

Your cheeks warm at his words, your lips moving against his as you kiss. You trail a hand up his arm, sliding it to his back. His shirt is soft, thin enough that you can feel the muscles in his back as you smooth your hand across his shoulder blades. 

“Wish I could stay here all day.” He murmurs, his face pressing into your throat. You tilt your head for him, a quiet groan rumbling through his chest at your sign of submission. He sighs, pressing his nose against your scent gland for a moment before he straightens back up. “Got a job to do.” 

You let out a groan as you stretch, arching your back. “Fuck your job.” 

“I’d much rather be fucking you.” He says, leaning down to nip at your bottom lip before he stands up, grabbing the shirt you’d worn to slip into his room last night off the floor. It’s one of his, one you’d stolen from his laundry hamper while he was in the shower. “Don’t let anyone hear you say that.” 

You grin, pushing the sheets down before sitting up on the edge of the bed. You rub your eyes tiredly, stretching again before pulling on his shirt, slipping your slippers on. You pad back to your room, changing into more appropriate clothes for breakfast. You’ll be left to your own devices again afterward as the guys return to their normal training schedule. You won’t be napping this time, though, you fear. Instead you’ll be looking for ways to keep yourself awake. 

You and John walk hand in hand to the mess. It’s been a while since you’ve been inside of it, and you find you’ve grown to miss it a bit. You don’t miss the stares, the looks that pass over you and your entwined hands as John leads you to the line to get food. It’s like they know, like they all somehow witnessed what had transpired over the last couple weeks, like they had all been spectators to it. 

John makes your tray for you again, carrying it to the table where the others are already seated. You take your normal spot next to Kyle, both him and John sitting closer to you than before. Perhaps they were picking up on your nervous energy, but even Johnny and Ghost seemed to be sitting closer. You cast a glance between them before digging into your tray. Something had transpired, but you’re not quite sure what. 

You might never get to know. 

It’s quiet as you eat, the coffee bitter and watery, but you don’t care. You’ll suffer anything that might give you a boost of energy to make it to lunch without falling asleep. 

Johnny walks you back to the barracks after breakfast is over, his arm around your waist as you take your time crossing the courtyard. He’s oddly quiet compared to how energetic he usually is this early in the morning. Something must have happened to make him silent. 

“Johnny?” You ask after a group of soldiers jog past behind you. 

He hums, looking down at you. His eyes are still bright, but his brows are slightly furrowed. 

“Is everything alright?” You ask carefully, not wanting to risk pushing any buttons. 

“Aye.” He answers after letting out a sigh. “Jus’ an incident in the gym this mornin’. Nothing ye need tae worry about.” 

You raise your brows at him, silently conveying your desire for more information, if he can give you any. 

“Just some alphas talkin’ shite, like they do. Callin’ ye the 141’s whore. Askin’ if we all take turns or if ye let us all go at once.” He says, his tone practically seething as he leads you into the barracks. “Simon reminded them of their place.” 

You can only imagine how that went. 

Despite their obvious tension at the jabs made at you by the other alphas, you don't feel as angry as you probably should. Being called a whore was a bit demeaning, but part of what was said wasn't entirely wrong. Perhaps it's just some leftover hormones surging from your heat, or maybe being claimed has shifted your feelings towards your packmates, but the idea of being shared by them has warmth spreading through you. The mental images piecing together in your mind of taking them all at once would probably make the alphas that made that jab at you blush furiously. 

“Johnny?” You ask, turning to him when you reach your door. 

“Aye?” He stares down at you, his blue eyes soft as they gaze down into your own. 

“I, uh, I wouldn’t mind if at least part of what they said was true...” You sink your teeth into your lip. “You...uh...you’ve been waiting for a while...for your turn.” 

He gulps, shifting slightly on his feet. You can’t tell if he’s nervous or excited or something in between. 

“Well, I’ve been officially cleared to partake in more...strenuous activities..” 

“Christ.” He breathes, crowding you against the door. For a moment you’re worried he might just do it right here, right now, but instead he leans in, close enough you can smell the coffee he had with his breakfast. “I’d love that, kitten.” He bites his own lip as he stares down at yours. “Let me know, and I’ll be ready for you.” He leans down, closing the short distance between you as he kisses you. 

You lean into him, kissing him back. It feels like the first time you kissed him, except you can feel the hunger, the restraint behind this kiss. You can feel how much he’s been holding back, how long he’s waited to finally have this moment. To think of anyone desiring you in such a way makes your head spin. He wants you for you, not what you can do for him, not what you can give to him. Not even just for what’s between your legs, even if that’s what you’re going to do. 

He wants to be with you because you’re you. He doesn’t have to, he could choose not to, but he does. 

He pulls away, staring down at you. His eyes are darker now, speaking promises of what’s to come. “When you’re ready, I’ll be waiting.” 

“You're tired.” 

You blink, your gaze snapping to his face. You had been drifting thoughtlessly, quite enamored with a single spot on the floor. You're not sure how long he let you stand there, empty-headed and practically dozing upright. 

You rub your eyes, trying to force your brain back to awareness. “It's early.” You give the excuse, toeing off your shoes. “Been a while since we've done this.”

“You're going to have to work extra hard to gain it all back.” Ghost says, pulling off his sweatshirt. 

Your eyes are immediately drawn to his arms, the strength in them, the tattoos on his skin. You bite back the desire to move closer, to get just a glimpse at one close up. You want to sit and trace them, hear the story of every single one. You want to push his sleeve up, watch the way his muscles bulge and flex, see how far his tattoo goes up his arm. 

You snap yourself out of your thoughts, moving onto the mat before you do something embarrassing like starting to drool. You watch him as he stands at the edge of the mat, brown eyes taking you in as you stand there. Something tickles in the back of your mind, a hint of fear, the sense of sudden danger prevalent. What would you do if he suddenly ran at you? Try to dodge and make it to the door? Where would you go? The med center again? 

“Easy.” He grumbles, sensing your obvious tension.

Your gaze snaps back to him, his posture relaxed as he stays still. “I'm putting a lot of trust in you.”

“I know.” He says, standing almost as still as a statue. You wonder how he can possibly be so still, but you suppose it's something he learned to do. “I should never have broken that trust in the first place.”

Your eyes widen, brows lifting as you stare at him. You didn't expect such a straightforward apology from him. You haven't really gotten one, until now. You hesitate as you stand there in silence, Ghost obviously waiting for your response. 

“I don't know if I can forgive you.” You finally say. 

“You shouldn't.” He shrugs, his gaze shifting to the wall behind you. “Even if you weren't really in danger, it was still a dick move.”

Your eyebrows raise even higher. “An apology and admitting you were a dick? Should I be worried?”

He huffs out a breath, shaking his head. “Consider it an offering of amicability, for Johnny. I know you two are getting close, so inevitably we're going to find ourselves around each other more often than we have previously.”

“Well, I suppose I could accept that.” You say, shifting on your feet. “I don't think you could convince Johnny otherwise.”

“Hardly. He wouldn't listen anyway.” He finally moves, shifting on his feet. “You gonna put your hackles down so I can approach?”

You take a deep breath, relaxing the tension in your body. You don't really have a reason to fear him, despite what he did. He hasn't given you a reason to fear him since then, and he's even gone so far as to apologize in his own way. John wouldn't have allowed this to start again if he didn't trust Ghost not to do something that might put you in danger. 

John trusts him, so you should be able to as well. 

Ghost slowly approaches, your eyes watching him carefully until he's directly in front of you. You stare up at him, holding his gaze. You wish you could see the rest of his face on the off chance it might give you a hint at what he's thinking and feeling. You wonder if that's partially why he wears the mask. 

Ghost holds out his hand and you place your own in his. It's so much bigger than yours, his long fingers engulfing your wrist as he wraps your hand. You could probably do it yourself by this point, but you like making him do it. You like the way his hands hold yours, the roughness of his skin against your own. 

He starts out reviewing things you already know. Punches, kicks, dodging. It doesn't take long for you to get back into the groove of things, moving like it hasn't been nearly a month since your last training session. You notice the fatigue faster than you had during your last session, but you expected that after almost a month, paired with your heat two weeks ago. 

“Now, punching and kicking will only get you so far in a fight.” He says, giving you a moment to breathe. “Almost all fights are going to end up on the ground. Even if your goal is disarming enough to escape, the chances of you and your opponent ending up on the ground is highly likely.” 

He swipes your feet out from under you before you can even blink, nearly knocking the wind from you as you land on the mat on your back. He’s on you quickly, dropping to his hands and knees over you. Your breath catches in your throat as you stare at him above you, his hulking form seeming even larger from this angle. Your mind begins to run wild, imagining all the things that could happen in this position. 

“Focus.” He grumbles, arms flexing as he presses his hands into the mat where they rest on either side of your head. “You don’t want to be in this position in a fight. You’re too vulnerable.” 

A shiver runs down your spine at his words. You are vulnerable like this. Even with him, someone who doesn’t want to hurt you, it would be so easy. Your head begins to turn, your gaze leaving his as instinct begins to take over. 

“No.” He snaps, gripping your chin to turn your head back so he’s looking in your eyes. “You do that in a fight, you’re not going to see the other side.” 

You gulp, trying to ignore the warmth of his fingers on your face, the firmness of his grip as he keeps you from showing submission to him. That’s not why you’re here. He’s right. If you do that in a fight, it’ll be over before you even have a chance to run. 

“Your legs are far stronger than your arms. Use them to your advantage.” He says, showing you how to get him into the right position to flip him. 

You know he’s helping you as you flip him onto his back. If he really was fighting you, you’re not sure you could have done it, even if you managed to land enough of a hit to disarm him. You wind up on top of him, sitting on his stomach. The position doesn’t help your racing thoughts, and you pray you can keep enough control over yourself so you don’t make it obvious. 

“Use your legs to pin my hands.” He directs you. You shift your knees slightly, trapping his hands against the mat. “Good.” He says, laying still under you. “You can’t hold a bigger opponent down here for long, but that’s not the point. This gives you a moment of opportunity to go for the face or the neck. Stun them and that gives you a headstart. If you have a weapon available, then you have one less person to worry about chasing you.” 

You gulp at his words. It hadn’t even crossed your mind during your training. He had said it so simply, so easily. You suppose it is to him, after years of doing it, after countless moments where it’s his life or theirs. Is that what he tells himself? Is that how he rationalizes it? Is there so much blood on his hands now that killing is as easy as breathing? 

You wonder how they all rationalize it. They all have blood on their hands, they all have killed, and will kill again. Every time they leave and come back, it’s with more blood, more nameless faces on the list of lives they've taken, all in the name of the greater good. 

Is violence and death really the path to the greater good? 

“What?” He asks, sensing your inner turmoil. 

You sit back on his stomach, your body rising and falling with his even breaths. “I don’t know if I could do it.” 

He tugs his hands from beneath your knees easily, resting them on the mat next to your legs. You can feel his fingers twitch as the blood rushes back into them. “You might not have much of a choice.” He says, holding your gaze. There’s a softness in his gaze you have never seen before. “Sometimes it’s the only choice. If they’re attacking you, they’re better off dead. Even if their goal is to take you alive, the things they’ll do to you.” He shakes his head. 

He’s speaking from experience. You know he’s seen things, witnessed the brutality omegas are subjected to at the hands of the worst kinds of alphas and betas. He’s watched omegas die in front of him while he’s sat helpless.

His hand lifts, cupping the back of your head to pull you down closer to his face. You catch yourself with your hands on either side of his head, fighting the urge to tense your shoulders. His hand doesn’t move from the back of your head, his fingers not even twitching as he holds you steady. 

“If they’re willing to do it to you, how many others have been on the receiving end? If you’re not willing to be the last, how many others will come after you?” He says, his gaze intense as he stares at you. “I hope you never have to, but you always have to prepare for the worst.” 

He holds you there for a breath, staring up into your eyes before he releases you, flipping you off of him and onto your back on the mat. He pushes himself up to stand, staring down at you as you lay there, catching your breath and thinking over the last few moments that transpired. 

“Come on. It’s almost time for breakfast.” 

It’s quiet in the rec room. The TV is off for once, only the hum of electricity and the occasional turning of a page the only sound breaking the silence. You and Ghost are the only two in the rec room, both of you relaxing silently as you read. He’s in the chair as usual, and you’re stretched out on the couch. 

You’re only halfway paying attention to your book, still thinking over your conversation with Johnny earlier, and what transpired in the gym during your training session yesterday. You know how much Johnny wants to be with you, and you're more than willing to go that far with him. You like Johnny, more than just as a packmate. It's hard not to fall for him with his confidence and his playful demeanor. You know he's been desperate to take things to the next level too. 

All he's waiting on is you saying the word. 

He will never force you into it. He'll impatiently wait for you to go to him, to tell him that you want it. All jokes and teasing aside, you know he'd never make you feel like you were being forced into something. 

The thought makes you want to cry. 

“Pull his hair.” Ghost’s voice cuts through the silence, nearly making you jump. 

You lower your book so you can see him, eyebrows raising in surprise at his words. “What?” 

“When you finally fuck Johnny, grab him by the mohawk. He likes it.” Ghost says, not even looking up from his own book. 

You stare at him wide-eyed, wondering for a moment if he can read minds, or if you’re just not quite as subtle as you think you’re being. 

“I'll, uh, keep that in mind.” You say, lifting your book again to hide your blushing face. 

The room descends into silence once more, the two of you continuing to read as if nothing had happened, as if that conversation hadn’t transpired. You wish it felt that way in your mind, though. The mental images Ghost’s words have drawn up drowning out the words on the pages that you’re trying to read. You’re trying not to get worked up further, but you can’t help it. After your training session and the thoughts that had come to mind with Ghost, and now these new images of Johnny, you’re sure your scent has begun to sweeten with arousal. 

You need to rectify this, and fast. 

You knock on the door, shifting nervously on your feet. Your hands have disappeared in your sleeves, the weight of your phone in your pocket the only thing keeping you from floating to the ceiling and dissipating into the air from the anxiety. 

Your stomach nearly drops from your body as the door swings open, Gaz standing there in his full glory. 

“Everything alright?” He asks, staring down at you with those big brown eyes. “You look nervous.”

You swallow the nerves, nodding in response. “Yeah, I just...wanted to talk to you for a minute.” 

He steps away from the door, brows still pinched in worry and confusion as he motions for you to enter. You brush past him as you step into his room, taking a look around. You haven't been in his room before. It's slightly smaller than yours and John's, and it doesn't have a private bathroom. There's artwork up on the walls, and a couple of plants on his desk, along with a few personal belongings. It's neat and tidy, not that you expected anything less. 

“What did you want to talk about?” He asks, turning to face you after closing the door. 

You take a deep breath, calming the nervous twist in your stomach. You shouldn’t be nervous. It’s a natural thing to bring up to packmates. You blame it on the fatigue from your lack of sleep putting you on edge.

“I wanted to ask you something.” You start, staring into his big brown eyes. They’re so beautiful, so expressive as they stare down at you. “Johnny and I...we’re going to...sleep together soon and...I just wanted to make sure that was okay? In case maybe you wanted to go first?” 

Kyle’s lips slowly lift up into a smile as you stare at him nervously, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “He’s been an absolute tosser since before your heat, and he’d only become utterly unbearable if he didn’t get to go first.” He steps up closer to you, grinning down at you. “For the sake of everyone’s sanity, I don’t mind being patient. Besides,” He leans down, his breath fanning your ear. “I at least know what you look like naked, so I can occupy myself while I wait.” 

Your face burns with warmth at his words, a shiver running down your spine. He’s not wrong. He’s seen you at your most vulnerable, lost to your heat, naked and stuffed with John’s knot. Your brain flashes back to the start of your heat, the feel of his fingers slipping beneath the waistband of your pajama pants. You swallow thickly, meeting his gaze as he pulls back. 

“Enjoy your time with Johnny, love.” He slips his hand into yours, lifting it to his lips. He presses a soft kiss to your knuckles, lips brushing your skin as he speaks. “I’ll be here waiting for you when you’re ready.” 

You feel a bit out of breath as you leave Kyle’s room, and you’re sure your scent has sweetened with arousal and excitement. You might have been tempted to just jump Kyle’s bones right now, had it not been for your desire for Johnny, and your commitment to letting him be first again. You know Kyle’s right. You’d never hear the end of it if Johnny didn’t get the chance to be next in line. 

Now you just have to find him and tell him the good news. 

“Ye look nervous. Are ye nervous?” 

“I mean, this is a big step...” You say, wrapping your arms around Johnny’s neck as he shifts you into his lap. You try not to think about how strong he is, how easily he moves you. 

“Ye don’t have tae do this, if ye don’ want to.” He says, looking down into your eyes. 

“It’s not that...” You say, shifting in his lap. “It’s more...there’s no going back after this.” 

He wraps his arms tighter around you. “If I didnae want it, I wouldnae offer. Yer a fucking stunnin’ omega, kitten. Would be crazy not tae want ye.” 

Your cheeks warm at his words, your gaze dropping from the intensity of his own. His stubble tickles your fingers as you trace the line of his jaw, working your way towards his lips. His tongue darts out, wetting his bottom lip as your fingers trace the jagged scar on his chin. 

“Just...go easy on me? At least this first time?” You say, tracing his lips with your fingers. 

“‘Course, kitten.” He says, pressing a kiss to your fingertips. “Wouldnae want to scare ye away.” 

Your eyes widen slightly at the implications of his words, your stomach fluttering with excitement and a hint of fear at what he could possibly be alluding to. His hand lifts, gently grasping your chin, tilting your face slightly. He closes the distance between you, pressing his lips to yours. 

“Don’ worry.” He murmurs against your lips. “Take good care of ye.” 

You hum against his lips, tasting the chocolate he’d been snacking on when you sought him out as his tongue slips into your mouth. His hand leaves your chin, sliding down your throat to rest right at the base of your throat, fingers splayed across your clavicle. His thumb rests right on the edge of your mating mark, the pressure making you shiver. 

Johnny pulls you tighter against his chest, your arms wrapping around his neck. He moans against your lips as you shift against him, the bulge in his pants pressing against your ass. It’s not the first time you’ve felt it, but this time it’s different. This time you’re going to do something about it. 

“Fucking christ, take ye right here on this couch, if I’m not careful.” Johnny groans, nipping at your bottom lip. 

“Then best take me to bed, Sergeant.” You say, pulling back slightly to give him what you hope is a sultry look. 

The groan that’s pulled from his lips is downright salacious, something flashing in his eyes as you call him by his rank. He curses, tightening his hold around you before he stands, maneuvering you so you’re tossed over his shoulder. You let out a squeak of surprise that’s quickly replaced by giggles as he packs you down the hall to his room. 

He sets you on your feet once you're inside, closing the door. You look around his room, surprised to see it full of art supplies with drawings and paintings all over the walls. You stare open mouthed, taking it all in. It's messier than John and Kyle's rooms, though there's still a sense of order to it. A chaotic order, but you suppose that explains Johnny perfectly. 

“You draw?” You say, studying the art on the walls.

“Aye,” Johnny says, coming up behind you. “In my free time.”

“I didn't know that.” A small smile tugs at your lips. “They're beautiful.”  

“Thank ye, kitten.” He wraps his arms around you from behind, reminding you of why you came in here in the first place. “Not quite as beautiful as you.”

Your face warms at his compliment and you tilt your head back, staring up at him. “You're such a charmer.” 

“Try my best.” He grins, leaning down and kissing your forehead. “Promise I'll show ye my drawings later.”

You turn in his arms, wrapping your own around his neck. “I know. You're desperate.”

“Been waitin’ weeks for this, kitten.” He groans, grinding against you. 

He leans down, pressing his lips to yours. You tighten your grip around his neck, jumping into his arms. He manages to catch you, stumbling half a step back as his hands grip your thighs. You wrap your legs around his waist, lifting yourself so you’re face to face with him. 

“Christ.” He groans against your lips, walking forward until he reaches his bed.

He drops you on your back, your body bouncing on the mattress as he settles on his knees over you. His eyes have darkened as he stares down at you, your stomach twisting in excitement. Warmth has started to pool between your legs, your scent sweetening with arousal. 

Johnny’s hands are rough as they slip under your shirt, tugging it up over your head. He groans, eyes fluttering as he realizes you’re without a bra underneath. He curses quietly, something you can’t quite understand as his hands immediately close around your breasts. Your lips part as he squeezes the flesh in his hands, leaning down to take a nipple in his mouth. You gasp at the sensation as his lips close around the sensitive bud, suckling at it like he’s a man starved. 

Well, you suppose he is. 

He has been waiting for quite a while for this opportunity. Something about it makes your brain tingle, arousal pooling in your stomach at the thought of someone desiring you that much. 

It’s not just him, though. Three of the four members of your pack have expressed their desire for you in such a way. The thought makes your head spin. You’re just a simple omega, and yet, here they are going half crazy over you. 

Johnny releases your nipple with a pop, shifting so he can give the same attention to the other one. Arousal continues to pool between your legs, your arms wrapping around his shoulders. You drag your fingernails across the back of his neck, a shiver wracking through his body, his hips grinding down against your thigh. 

“Fuck,” He gasps, releasing your nipple to stare up at you.

You repeat the motion, dragging your fingers slower. His eyes roll back, hips grinding harder against your thigh. He’s so sensitive, you think, pushing your thigh up against him. He lets out what can only be described as almost a whine, rutting his hips against your leg. 

“Fuck,” He curses again, pushing himself back up onto his knees. “Tonight is about you, kitten.” He takes a deep breath before slipping his fingers under the waistband of your pants, tugging them down quickly and tossing them on the floor next to your shirt. 

He sinks his teeth into his lip as he stares down at your panties, one of the pairs he got you on your shopping trip before your date with John. You had changed into them specifically for Johnny, remembering how excited he’d looked when he bought you five pairs of the lacy garments. He groans quietly as he runs his fingers over your lace covered skin, slowly lowering his fingers between your thighs. He glances up at you, meeting his gaze and you give him a nod before his fingers dip lower, trailing the wet spot on the lacy fabric. 

You part your legs more for him as he rubs you through your panties, quiet moans leaving your lips at the feeling of the friction from the fabric. His eyes are still on you, glued to your face as the pleasure begins to build just from his touch. You buck your hips against his hand, searching out more. More pleasure, more of his touch, more of him. 

“Look at ye, needy little thing.” He groans, his thumb dragging up your slit until he finds your clit, slowly circling it through the fabric. “Barely touched ye an’ yer cunt’s already soakin’ yer skids. Fucking sweet little thing, so needy for me, aren’t ye?” 

You push yourself up onto your elbows, staring down at him. “Are you going to sit there and run your mouth all night, or are you going to fuck me?” 

He grins wickedly at you. “I’m just gettin’ started, kitten.” 

He leans down, pressing a kiss to the inside of your knee before trailing kisses up your inner thigh. His thumb continues to stroke you through your panties, applying more and more pressure as he gets closer and closer to your center. He whispers out a curse as he shoves your panties to the side, revealing your glistening folds to him. He leans forward, warm breath fanning your slit before he closes his mouth around you. 

You gasp at the sensation, dropping back onto your back on the bed as he drags his tongue through your folds, flicking it across your clit before he closes his lips around the sensitive bud, suckling at it like he did your nipples earlier. Pleasure shoots through you as he eats you like a man starved, slurping away at your pussy obscenely. 

“Fuck, Johnny!” You gasp, legs trying to close around his head, but he holds your inner thighs, keeping them spread. 

You’re not going to last very long, not with him alternating between sucking at your clit and swirling his tongue around it like that. He’s done this before, and you can’t help the momentary spike of jealousy at the thought of him between any other omega’s thighs now that he has you. 

“Gonna cum!” You whine, hips bucking against his face. 

“Yeah? Gonna make a mess all over my face?” He groans. 

You curse, your back arching as he continues to work you up, hands fisting his sheets. 

“That’s it.” He groans against your clit, dragging his teeth over the sensitive bud. “Be a good omega for me.” 

You cum with a cry, soaking his chin as he continues to tease you. He laps at your juices, not slowing any as he works you through your orgasm, even as you begin to shake with overstimulation. 

“I-I can’t.” You gasp, the burning feeling starting to pulse through you as he continues to suck at your clit. It’s quickly becoming too much, the feeling overwhelming you. 

Ghost’s words flash through your mind at that moment, his suggestion yesterday while you both spent time in the rec room reading. You reach down, sinking your fingers into Johnny’s mohawk, gripping the short strands. He lets out a groan as you tug, pulling his face from your pussy finally. His chin is glistening with your release, his tongue darting out to lick your juices from his lips. 

He follows as you tug upwards, drawing him away from your pussy. He crawls up your body until you’re almost face to face, your fingers still tangled in his hair. 

“I said that’s enough.” You say, slightly breathless from your orgasm, but you put as much authority in your tone as you can manage. 

“Yes ma’am.” He practically whines, the muscles in his arms flexing as he sinks his own fingers into the sheets around you. 

The sudden shift in control has something buzzing in your brain, the back of your neck tingling. You’re an omega. You’re not supposed to be in control, and yet, here Johnny is, practically folding in front of you. A thrill shoots through your veins at the thought of what you could make him do, what lengths he’d go to for you simply because you have him in this position. 

“Take your clothes off.” You say, releasing his mohawk. 

He sits back without complaint, tugging his shirt over his head. You take him in, the hard lines of his muscles, the dark hair on his chest, the line disappearing under the waistband of his pants. You lick your lips as he undoes the button on his pants, undoing the zipper before tugging them down with his boxers. 

His cock is hard and practically standing at attention as he kicks his pants off. He’s slightly smaller than John, but not by much. Your pussy clenches at the thought of him inside you, but you’re not ready for that quite yet. You guide Johnny back up to your face, pressing your lips against his. You can taste yourself on him, making him groan as you lick into his mouth. 

You guide him onto his back, trading places with him. He settles beneath you, his hands lifting to your hips, but you push them back as you pull away. You smirk down at him for a moment before you move, changing your position so you’re facing away from him. You trap his hands against the bed with your legs like Ghost showed you, sitting yourself on his taut stomach. He has a clear view of your ass still sporting your lacy panties, your wet folds pressed against his skin. 

“Simon show ye that one?” He asks, flexing his hands under you. He could easily overpower you and free himself, but he doesn’t.

“Uh huh.” You say, wrapping your hand around his cock. 

“Hells bells, what are you two gettin’ into during trainin’?” He groans, obviously starting to picture the lewd things you and Ghost might be doing. You wonder how he’d react to seeing you on top of Ghost like you were yesterday. 

“He’s just teaching me how to defend myself.” You say, slowly pumping his cock. “I’m finding there’s not much of a difference between fucking and fighting.” 

Johnny lets out another groan, but you’re not sure if it’s because of your words, or your hand on his cock. You continue to pump his length, feeling the softness of him in your hand, squeezing gently to feel the vein running along the bottom side. Johnny lets out a choked groan, hands twitching again under your legs. 

“Fuck, I cannae last much longer.” He gasps desperately, his length twitching in your hand. 

Pearly white beads of precum have begun to slip from his tip, and you can’t help but lean down and drag your tongue across his head, gathering some in your mouth. He lets out a whine that rivals ones of your own, his hips bucking as he gets closer and closer to his own orgasm. 

“Please, kitten, let me cum inside ye.” He begs, pulling his hands free from underneath you so he can grip your hips. 

You pull away from his cock, sitting up on his stomach. He’s panting, his fingers digging into the skin of your hips. You shift yourself again, turning back around to face him. His eyes are hooded as he stares at you, pupils blown with lust. His lips are parted as he pants, sweat beading on his forehead from the strain of holding himself back. You push yourself back until you’re hovering over his cock, pulling your panties to the side with one hand, grabbing his length with the other. 

You groan as you sink down onto him, bracing yourself with a hand on his stomach as he stretches you open. His hands settle on your waist, squeezing your hips as you work yourself down his length. 

“Fuck,” You breathe, pressing your hands against his abs as you sink down completely onto his cock, your hips flush with his. 

“So fucking tight and warm,” He groans, his grip near bruising around your hips. “Fucking feel fantastic, kitten.” 

You slowly begin rocking your hips, using your hands on his stomach for leverage. Your toes are curling already from this angle, the tip of his cock brushing that spot deep inside you with every rock of your hips. Small whines and whimpers leave your lips as you fuck yourself on his cock, squeezing your legs around his hips. They’re shaking already, and you know you won’t last long in this position. 

Johnny seems to notice that as well, his grip on your hips tightening as he starts to guide your movements. You’re starting to sweat from the effort, your thighs burning, but it feels too good to stop. You’re getting close again, the stretch of him inside you paired with the high of having such control over him just a few moments ago driving you closer and closer to the edge. 

Johnny pushes himself up as your movements begin to slow, wrapping his arms around you to shift you in his lap, laying you down on the bed facing the footboard as he slots himself over you. He takes over, thrusting into you, setting a frantic pace. Your head falls back as he pounds into you, your back arching as he folds his body over yours, pressing his face into your neck. 

“Gonna cum for me? Need tae feel ye squeezing ‘round my cock.” He grunts, nipping at the skin of your throat. 

You let out a whimper, nails digging into his shoulders. “Just like that.” You pant, squeezing your legs around his hips. “Don’t stop!” 

“Yes, ma’am.” He groans, continuing to rut into you like your pussy is the only thing that can save his life. 

You practically see stars as you cum, squeezing around his cock as pleasure jolts through your body like electricity. Your hips buck against his, grinding together like some sort of forbidden dance as he’s forced into his own orgasm by your walls squeezing around him. His hips stutter before he stills, warmth spurting into you as he cums. You hold him there, his body trembling with yours as he groans into your throat. 

“Fucking hell.” He moans, starting to shallowly thrust into you. He’s still hard, his cock dragging through your sensitive walls as he continues to fuck you despite having just orgasmed. “Never gonnae tire of this sweet cunt.” 

He probably won’t, you think as he continues to slowly thrust into you again. 

You’re in for a long night. 

NEXT ->

Taglist:

@bobaprint @ashy-kit @anunintentionalwriter @mockerycrow @hayleybarnesx @protokosmonaut @fruitymoonbeams-blog @blue-blue0 @hindi-si-ikay @thatonepupkai @redwites @kattiieee @141trash @lothiriel9 @dillybuggg @beebeechaos @konigsmissedbeltloop @kaoyamamegami @idkkkkkkk8363 @wallwriterstuff @smile-child-13 @anomiatartle @dangerkittenclaws @bless-my-demons @mystic60 @evolutionarry @red-hydra @lunaetiicsaystuff @linaangel @codsunshine @thriving-n-jiving @slayerx147 @ferns-fics @spicyspicyliving @cityoffallencrows @ttsbaby01 @heeheehoohoohahahihi @sleepyoriana @ihatethinkingofnames10 @cassiecasluciluce @darling006 @sheep-from-rad @ohgodthebogisback @willow-sages @scythemood @daniblogs164 @mirzamsaiph 

[midwestprincesss]

PARTNERS IN CRIME | chapter 1

pairing: enemies to lovers patrick zweig x female!reader summer camp au

summary: after graduating highschool, both you and patrick look for a summer job. you, because you wanted to save some money before college. and him because he needed a place to sleep. you thought you finally got rid of him forever, after highschool. but it's patrick zweig, so c'mon.

a/n: it's a biiiit short i knoww but i'm tired so YEAH! sorry! loveu guys tho!!!!!!!!

contents: uh. some talk ab masturbation, patrick has a crusty cum sock but are we surprised, reader is literally patrick, they can't stand eachother but they also wanna fuck eachother, blahblahblah

taglist: @jackierose902109 @primlovesdilfs

prologue

''wake up.'' you heard a voice. a guy's voice. it took you a while to actually wake up and realize it was patrick, leaning against your door frame.

you groaned and threw your pillow at him. ''get the fuck out!''

he chuckled and picked up the pillow, throwing it back at you with more force. ''it's 8am. you have to get up, like, now.''

''ugh! why are you even in my room, zweig? have you been watching me or something? you fucking perv. go away!''you yelled, pulling the blanket over your head. and of course the fucker had to walk over to your bed and pull the blanket off of you.

''look, it's not my fault we got paired up in the same cabin. now if you stopped being a fucking bitch for once and got up, that would be great. we have to do the whole initiation bullshit with all those kids. get out of the fucking bed.'' he said and slammed the door.

it was an actual nightmare come true. patrick never had any concept of personal space, but you thought that maybe it was just a phase. turns out it wasn't. he looked almost ready to get into bed with you-but only so that he could push you off of it. not that you wished he would get into bed with you to do something else- no, ew. you'd sleep with anyone but patrick zweig.

but he did look good. and even though you didn't want to admit it, you knew it. he's tall, muscular and handsome. perhaps that contributes to your hatred for him. you couldn't stand it when he looked at you with those doe-like green eyes of his. or when he bit his lip at the most inappropiate times. or the way the muscles in his legs flexed when he was running. or how nice his freckles look.

but you were not attracted to patrick, god no. these were just little exceptions.

well, maybe this morning was an exception as well. the way he spoke to you turned you on, weirdly. he seemed so pissed off- he looks hot when he's angry. maybe that's why you get a kick out of annoying him.

you finally rolled out of bed with a groan, checking the time. it was, in fact, not 8 am, as patrick had told you, but 7:30. the fucker.

you decided on not going back to sleep anymore- mostly because you weren't that sleepy anymore but also because you didn't want to let your thoughts about patrick wander. the most ridiculous and embarassing thing would be to jerk off while thinking about that smug little bitch. you would have good excuses though- it was morning, you were just horny, blah blah blah. but still, the aftermath of it all would have been the most humbling experience ever so you decided it was best to just skip all of it.

after doing no efforts in making your bed, you headed to the bathroom to brush your teeth and put on a bit of makeup, then you put on a pair of shorts and a stupid t-shirt with the name of the camp on it. and just when you were about to leave the cabin, you noticed patrick's door was slightly open. would it realyyy be that bad if you looked around his room a bit?

no, it wouldn't. he barged into your room while you were still in there, sleeping, without even knocking. so it can't be worse than that.

you opened the door and looked around. it smelt like axe body spray and cigarettes. you looked up at the smoke detector and obviously it was covered with a shower cap. it was such a patrick thing to do. then, you noticed the fact that he hadn't made his bed. also a very patrick thing. but then you remembered your bed looks exactly the same so you quickly found something else to focus on- the fucking sock next to his bed. just one, singular sock on the floor- gross. so. fucking. gross. to think he was jerking his shit in a room right next to yours- just straight up gross. not hot- not hot at all. it's actually disgusting to think about him slowly stroking his big, throbbing dick with pretty moans falling from his lips (such a shame you didn't hear them). what was he thinking about? about you, maybe. but you hope it wasn't you, 'cause that would definitely not be hot- not at all.

when you opened the door you found patrick in front of the cabin, checking his phone.

you sighed, loudly, so that he could hear you. he did not react. you did it again- but still, no reaction from him.

you decided to break the silence. '' why the fuck did you come here? did you know i was gonna be here? your parents are fucking rich. you're basically swimming in money there, at your house. why couldn't you stay there?'' you snapped at him, slightly surprising yourself. you did plan on having this conversation with him, but you didn't expect it to happen so soon. it was like you were speaking without actually wanting to.

''wouldn't you like to know.'' he deadpanned, then continued to type something on his phone.

you stared at him, tapping your foot. ''you checking if i replied to that text you sent me three days ago? 'cause i didn't. and just so you know, i was not smiling at you.''

''it looked like you were. i bet you missed me.'' he finally looked up from his phone but without making eye contact with you yet. he was smirking. again. you felt like punching him. again.

''zweig, i swear if you don't shut up-''

''make me shut up, then.'' he said. so fucking cheesy.

''your stupid pick-up lines don't work on me. you're not gonna turn me into one of your fangirls'' you warned him, inching closer and closer to him. ''and by the way, i'll get back at you for waking me up earlier. you're a fucking cunt.''

he didn't reply anything. he just looked directly into your eyes, with his eyebrows slightly raised. it was almost like his face was screaming, punch me! punch me!

you ignored your violent urges- you figured it would be better to put all that energy into something else- maybe, instead of punching him, you could flood his room- something of the sort.

but of course, that would be quite impossible given the fact that you would have to pay actual money for the damage. so, maybe punching was still an option, but not yet.

''i'm starving. i'll go get some breakfast.'' you said as you started walking away. ''-and don't try to sit next to me at the table. it's enough i have to sleep in the same cabin as you- i don't want to be reminded of your gross eating habits.'' pickles and peanut butter, disgusting. you remember how patrick used to eat that, in the school cafeteria- like actually. and with people around him. and still- he got girls. somehow.

he immediately came running after you, laughing a bit- ''oh come on, i don't eat that shit anymore, i was like 15 back then. and plus- i don't know anyone around here-'' he tried to make a point, but you cut him off with a loud and clear 'no.' he sighed and rolled his eyes at that, but ended up sitting on the opposite side of the table.

the whole time you were having breakfast you could feel his eyes on you. only this time, he wasn't smirking or grinning or anything of the sort- he just looked like a lost puppy.

it almost made you feel bad.

[tomurawr44]

i’d like to see ur hcs for tomura x civilian reader! ^^

TOMURA/CIVILLIAN!READER HCS!

A/N: this is like two parts and stuff, teen to adult tomura :3

WARNINGS: spoilers, ooc tomura maybe, teen tomura, suggestive content, kind of goes Kurogiri centered for awhile.

how'd you two meet? (15-18yr old Tomu)

you two probably met in some sort of store, gamestop, arcade, cafe, computer/gaming cafe, or something along the lines of that.

it'd either start out as small little interactions getting deeper and deeper, or it'd start with you interacting first, I don't think Tomura would willingly interact with someone who isn't a criminal/someone Kurogiri or giran introduced him to.

you would fall first, but he'd fall harder, don't worry, he just scraped his knee, he can still get back up he promises.

he'd probably spiral with his feelings for awhile, he becomes meaner and colder to you because he's not sure how to process and deal with things, and it makes him 'hurt', so in turn he wants to destroy you. but the thought that he'd never see you again pisses him off even more.

he will come back to normal soon enough, just give him some time.

he's confused and a little nervous, but eventually he asks you something he hasn't really thought of asking someone before.

"Do you want to go to the arcade with me? but don't cry when i beat you in everything." is what he would mumble softly to you.

he's picking at his neck with one hand, his hood up and he was looking down because he was so nervous, he hasn't felt this, not in a situation like this and it makes him grit his teeth and want to just turn you to dust right then and there.

he was scared you'd think of him as a gross creep, but he was absolutely adorable, he had his charms. the messy baby blue hair? the lanky build? it made you bite your lip sometimes thinking about him.

his whole body was blushing, down to his collarbones his pale yellow skin was tinted with a very faint pink.

if you say yes, he wants to tear you apart but he gets the same rush and high when he clutches a game from hearing your response. you didn't reject him.

and that's it, no confession or anything, you said yes and now your his partner for eternity. sorry, he makes the rules.

How did Kurogiri/Master find out and react to it?

The first red flag for Kurogiri was when Tomura started going out alot more, even going as far as to sneak out. he'd atleast let Kurogiri know he was leaving and sometimes say where he was headed.

that raised his suspicions and he reported to AFO the moment that it started occurring so frequently. but the old bastard just shrugged it off and assumed Tomura was making connections to other local gangs within the area to try and recruit allies.

Kurogiri thought he's been blowing all his allowance on the arcade again, but why? Tomura would usually tell Kurogiri what he wanted, he has all the games he needs.

the poor butler was stuck thinking for awhile.

the second red flag was when Tomura started cleaning his garbage dump of a room, started taking showers more frequently and Kurogiri even caught him preening in the mirror once.

one time, Kurogiri snuck into Tomura's room and looked for clues, feeling his PC, it was cold. it shouldn't be cold. it should be warm to signal that Tomura has been using it alot.

then he found the gifts you've been giving Tomura, matching keychains, colorful clothing, all sorts of things that you've bought for the crusty munch.

he was starting to connect the dots, a significant other perhaps? he heard the door to the bar open and the familiar steps of Tomura coming up the stairs so he warps into his own room to act like he's been resting.

when Tomura asks for more money and leaves, Kurogiri voices his concern and findings to his master. once AFO catches wind of this, he's a bit upset. so he tells Kurogiri to find more evidence and such, but keep it neutral, as if he wasn't suspecting anything.

Tomura thinks he's sooo slick and good at hiding things.

once Tomura gets comfortable enough with you, he'll actually clean his room, and it scared Kurogiri, Tomura? Vaccuming? changing his sheets? organizing his room? unheard of.

once you come over and introduce yourself, game over. the moment you and Tomura are in his room he immediately contacts AFO and lets him know who you are and what you and Tomura seem to be.

once you go home, AFO immediately tries to get Tomura to break it off with you, he want's to object but he really does, so he picks and points AFO's questions and replies with his own. if his master was supposed to teach him everything, wouldn't it be good he had an ally?

let's say your someone with connections here and there, he'd bring that up to AFO (it's just your friend group..) and try to reason with his master.

AFO does not let it go, instead plants insecurities and doubt into Tomura's head about his partner.

too bad you're just too good at reassurance.

If you want to see dating hcs with Tomura/Civillian reader, please check out this post or ask again for a separate one 🖤

Villain era tomura! (20yrs old)

when he finally gets into his villain era, seeing your boyfriend covered in so many hands attacking children on live television made you feel scared.

scared of him and for him, how come you haven't seen this coming?

okay maybe you did, but you thought he was just a shoplifter or some petty crime like that!

you'd obviously contact him about it and he feels nervous, now that you've seen him for who he truly is.

stick around please, become an ally. an outsider to help with him.

he will introduce you to the league, but again, seeing your boyfriend on live television in the fight of the century spiked something deep within your heart.

you needed to help him, you'd call him as soon as possible.

Wrong move for your finances, now you have a bunch of sad stinky wet cats soaked with trauma in your house. all depending on you and Kurogiri to manage them.

no more sex :(

he will ask you to join him, be a villain too, but it's really up to you and the path you choose.

Sorry if i ended it so abruptly! if you want to see a progression of this or something along the lines of that, please send in an ask! my askbox is always 100% open🖤

—Ake 2024

[ataraxiaspainting]

pretending to be dead in front of hxh yans. because why the hell not?

Warnings: Yandere themes, kidnapping, and implied violence.

Word Count: 900. (this was only supposed to be 400 😭)

*~*~*~*

Chrollo

Chrollo will know right away. There is no doubt about that. Even if he was in another room and just happened to walk in through the doorway as you flopped on the floor like a fish.

He will probably hit you up with a "Darling, get up or we won't go to the museum tonight" or something like that. He likes using this carrot and stick technique quite a lot, but with his own spin on it using his manipulation tactics. He will lure you in with a reward for behaving yourself or take something away when you are bad.

If you continue this charade despite his threats, he will attempt to entertain you for a bit. Maybe he pokes you with the end of an umbrella or something, or mockingly weeps your supposed death. Eventually this will annoy you so much you will surrender.

His response is directly proportional to why you did this. Did you do it for attention? He will gladly give it to you, with reading to you and handfeeding you your favorite food, still warm from its takeout box, or maybe he even attempted to make it himself (though, if the dish doesn't come out as planned, as his perfectionism is a huge part of him, he will throw it out before you even find out he cooked something in the first place).

Did you do it so he would actually think you are dead so you could sneak off to freedom? Well, expect him to tease you about it from this point forward, but nothing serious happens. Unless you attempt to attack him and actually prevail, usually his punishments are bare to none.

Nobunaga

Nobunaga is many things. Being in touch with reality is definitely not one of them. He already sees you as a fragile little baby, so trying to play dead in front of him will cause him to have a panic attack of sorts.

He believes your entire act, as bad as you were doing it. He cries and caresses you in his arms. His crusty, dry lips, unholy body odor, and his utterly disgusting breath will be the only reasons you will ever reveal your cover.

He reacts to you being alive as horribly as you expect. He will start yelling at you, scolding you like a toddler who snuck into the cookie jar and not a captive trying to get back to society once more. If he was already in a somewhat bad mood, like you rejected his advances for the umpteenth time, and he got annoyed at you playing "hard to get" again, expect to even be sent to bed without dinner or dessert. Horrifying, right?

But, then again, dinner is always raw or burnt. You are sometimes convinced Nobunaga is trying to poison you to further immobile you, so you won't attempt to escape further. Maybe this whole playing dead thing was successful, in its own way? You would rather eat pebbles than the halfway cooked rice Nobunaga puts in your pink plastic plate.

Feitan

Feitan just stares at you, not blinking. He already knows what you are trying to do. He already has a staring problem, observing everything you do, from drawing to looking outside the small, barred window in your room, so his reaction, in all honesty, does not surprise you one bit.

He will just go about his day. Feitan is an expert on the human body, being the Troupe's lead torturer and all, so he knows the difference from when you are faking being sick (or in this case dead) from when you are actually sick (a possibility from both the escape attempts and the fact that Feitan's little cabin in the middle of the woods has no heat or air conditioner. He says he does not need it, so he does not recognize it as a problem).

As always, he says nothing. He only sees this as a little bit of a tantrum you're having, and lets you have your way for once. When you eventually give up or when he has had enough of watching you, he'll leave the room to do something else.

But nothing bad happens to you, shockingly. But there is major emphasis on to you. If you have refused to admit defeat, he'll torture yet another poor unfortunate soul in his basement, their screams much louder than usual, and you will break at one point or another, either asking Feitan to stop or going to your room to put your pillow (which can also be a weapon with how hard it is) over your ears.

Machi

Machi, similar to two of the three assfarts, knows exactly what you are doing. But, like Nobunaga, she still worries, although she does not show it, and she also scolds you.

But, unlike the rest of them, she tries to listen to you after she shakes you into revealing yourself. She wants to know why you did that. If you say to try to escape from her, her heart will be broken once again.

Machi may not be the most emotionally understanding, but she does in fact try, although what she does after this incident is largely the opposite of what you wanted to happen. Even though her intentions are good, in her opinion. She will become more present in your life, bringing home more gifts for you and trying to hug you whenever you ask, although she will never initiate it herself.

She hopes you won't do that again. She'll tell you as such. She was not trying to manipulate you with the increase in gifts and consensual touches, but you will feel so bad you won't attempt such a thing from that point forward.

[armandposting]

sybelle & benji primer

for those who would prefer not to put themselves through The Vampire Armand

who are sybelle and benji? the short answer is that they are two humans that armand effectively adopts after killing sybelle's abusive brother. they help armand recover after his suicide attempt and come with him when he goes to see lestat in his devil-coma (don't worry about it). armand's intent with them has always been to protect them while they live out their human lives, but he leaves them with marius while telling his life story to david talbot and marius turns them, whcih devastates armand.

but also, sybelle is a 25 year old disabled pianist and benji is a 12 year old trafficked Bedouin boy from Palestine who chainsmokes. so there's kind of a lot going on there.

[prefacing this by saying it's possible benji and sybelle were first introduced in memnoch the devil but I haven't finished my reread of that yet and I don't remember, so this all comes from the vampire armand and what i remember of the prince lestat trilogy]

to skim over a bunch of semi-relevant plot, at the end of memnoch the devil armand tries to kill himself by flying into the sun because lestat got to make out with Thee Jesus and armand didn't. as he's getting burned up he has several semi-hallucinatory side quests, one of which is sybelle and benji.

sybelle, like I said, is a concert pianist, and has some sort of developmental or neuro disability that anne doesn't specify. you could interpret it as autism or psychosis related to PTSD or depression or any number of things, but when we meet her she is fixated on the Appassionata piano sonata, and plays it constantly. she is with her abusive older brother, who took over her care after their parents died, and Benjamin Mahmoud (benji), a young boy that her brother essentially bought to help take care of her. sybelle struggles with eating, dressing herself, speaking, etc, though this is all much improved later on after the brother is dead. Armand hears benji praying for something to save sybelle from the brother, who is trying to haul her off the piano and beat her, and benji is worried will kill her. Armand steps in and kills the brother. benji celebrates, sybelle goes back to the piano, and armand basically immediately falls in love with them both, but he has a suicide attempt to finish, so he gets swept off.

armand eventually lands on a rooftop, burned to a crisp and quickly becomes stuck in the snow and ice. he continues to hear sybelle's playing and benji talking to him (benji calls him angel at first, later dybbuk-- notable funny bit is that benji, not knowing what happened to armand, tries to persuade him back by saying he has plenty of good cigarettes and then complaining that armand left them this dead body to deal with. if theres one thing about benji mahmoud it's that he is not fazed by jack or shit). eventually armand realizes that he is not going to die any time soon and calls out to benji for help.

benji and sybelle rescue armand from the rooftop- he tries to telepathically shield how terrible he looks from them, but sybelle catches on that doing so is draining for him and tells him to stop. they're not afraid of his crusty ass and set him up in their hotel room (sybelle has endless trust fund money from her parents). they have to get a guy for armand to drink so he can heal, so benji lures a guy with the promise that there's coke under the "dead body" on the bed. yes, benji does come up with this plan. armand thinks it's hilarious. made for each other. it's notable that both benji and sybelle are daniel-style weird little freaks who want to watch armand do murders; the only difference is it's not a sex thing for them.

with armand recovered, sybelle and benji accompany him to come see lestat, where as I mentioned armand leaves them with marius for safekeeping and marius turns them. the consent here is... complicated. in terms of vampire etiquette, arguably marius absolutely should not have done this, as sybelle and benji were under armands protection. also just as a guy who is aware that this option is abhorrent to armand, someone marius still considers his child (eugh yuck etc), marius should not have done this. on the human end, sybelle at least was definitely old enough to consent, older than half the main vampires are when they're turned. benji would be really really offended if you said he wasn't old enough (much like amadeo) but also... he is literally 12. he's been through some shit for sure but he is 12. personally I'm going to go with under no circumstances should marius have done that. but sybelle and benji are happy about it and see it as a way to be a family with armand forever and armand does his best to not let his anguish bring the mood down.

and that's basically what happens. benji and sybelle go with armand between trinity gate and the court in auvergne. in the PL books, sybelle continues to play music, often with the other vampire musicians that have gathered at lestat's court, and benji starts the world's first vampire podcast.

other random facts:

benji mostly wears djellabas, and when the guy he brings to armand to kill is racist to him about it he says "sure, just call me Lawrence of arabia" and promptly feeds the guy to armand

benji also is fascinated by how armand looks all shriveled up ("I could take a lesson in muscles from looking at you") and sybelle has to tell him to focus on the whole luring a drug dealer to their hotel room thing at hand

for some reason anne thought that armand should mention that sybelle has breasts at like, every opportunity. it's one of those times when you're actually glad she didn't write more women because when she does she is so weird about it

in the PL books when interacting with Marius, benji also calls him master like armand does (Jacob Anderson voice eugh yuck!)

sybelle's reaction to watching crispy armand drain a dude while saying armand-typical creepy shit is to say "magnificent" and benji's is to say "bad guy, huh?"

armand thinks of the whole of telling his story in TVA as being for benji and sybelle, but particularly sybelle. he describes it more than once as his "symphony for sybelle."

Marius has a rare moment of self reflection after armand screams at him for turning the two, where he says "You loved them selflessly. For all their strange faults, and wild evil, they were not compromised for you. You loved them perhaps more respectfully than I… than I ever loved you." not a high bar my man!

anyway I think that's it, at least as much as I can remember without doing any text searches outside of TVA. they're weird little freaks and I love them very much though as usual there are many things about them I wish anne had done just a little differently!

[mamayan]

“…The fuck is that…”

It smelled like iron and rain tonight, the floor of the bar wet and muddy from footprints tracked in carelessly. The wood was already old and rotting, and it was wonder a hole hadn’t been broken into the mildewed boards.

“It’s a dog.”

He sneered, face turning fully where his eyes bore into you, completely away from his switch to level you with the nastiest face he could pull.

“I know what a fucking dog is, asshole. I’m asking why the fuck it’s in here—?”

“Watch your crusty mouth, boss, I wasn’t going to just leave it to die out in the storm. Some piece of shit left this poor little guy in a box by the dumpster.” He wanted to vomit at the almost motherly look on your face, staring at the filthy shaking wet puppy you held with your jacket bundled around it.

“Find somewhere else to put it, it’s not staying here.” He turned away dismissively despite his eyes still staying glued to the bundle in your arms.

“Yeah, yeah, can he just stay here for the night? Even I don’t got a place to sleep besides the streets, but he might get sick if he’s stays in the cold any longer.”

He grit his teeth in agitation.

“If it pisses in here I’m dusting it.”

He left it at that, even going as far as to get up and leave the bar. You were left alone after that, the League out for now due to the horrendous monsoons sweeping the city tonight. You weren’t fortunate enough to have a place to crash though, but you did debate just breaking into an abandoned house or something. The bar was closer though, and the little guy needed a warm bath and some food, which you couldn’t provide in a place without running water.

You washed the small puppy in the sink, soft brown fur spiked up cutely as you scrubbed away all the gunk and sadness covering the flea bitten thing. You carefully dug out each one, ridding him of all the awful vermin before giving him one more lather and rinse for good measure. Then you dried him, a stolen hair dryer kept on low and held far away, a soft dish rag you’d scrounged up used to pet and sooth while he shook.

“I know the boss scared you a bit, but he’s not gonna hurt you,” you cooed, holding the pup as you found a can of tuna and decided it would have to do as puppy chow for the evening. The little dog seemed to have enough teeth, and you made sure to stir it up some after opening the can.

He fell face first into the can eating. Hind legs even going up into the air as he balanced on his front paws eating. When his belly looked sufficiently round, you pulled the pup off and gave him a little water. He looked like a new dog honestly, much fluffier and more adorable like this.

“You need a name…” you hummed, picking the pup up and deciding to bother the boss a little. He didn’t seem happy about the dog, but you noticed he kept looking at it with some sort of longing. Did he want to pet it? You weren’t sure as you moved through the hide out, seeing Shigaraki’s room at the end of the hall. His door was tightly closed but decorum hardly mattered with thugs and villains like you. You kicked the door open, smiling at the near vampiric way your boss seemed to live in the artificially blue illuminated space. His pale skin looking almost gray in the lighting.

“Gross. Your room is fuckin’ nasty boss.” Your comment is met with a vicious glare, his lips pulled almost into a snarl as he eyes you with disdain, but his gaze wavers a bit on the fluff in your arms.

“Why’s it all squirmy?” He scowls, leaning back a bit in his gamer chair, clearly knowing you’re too annoying to scare off.

“He needs a name. Help me?”

“No. Fuck off.”

“Come on boss! He can be our mascot!”

“No way in hell. I’ll dust it if you try.”

“Woof!” You both looked down at the happy and merry little pup wiggling to get down in excitement. You smiled mischievously, eyes narrowing in a way that made him nervous.

“Don’t you dare—!” He grunts in surprise as you release the hound, the happy pup immediately scampering towards Shigaraki with a wiggly butt swinging so hard it caught up with its little tail. It’s quick to scratch at his jeans, big eyes staring up at him with so much cuteness he swears under his breath.

“Get. The. Damn. Dog. Off. Me—!” He’s seething through his teeth, furious for the interruption and the little fur ball’s audacity.

“Mhm, Dog as a name is a little unoriginal don’t you think boss?” He’s going to kill you. Dust your ass and this dog too!

“Woof!” He flinches back, hands instinctively raising high to prevent the nippy little thing from accidentally touching them as it jumped for attention.

“He loves you though!” You coo, pulling your phone out even and snapping pictures.

“If you don’t—,”

“Here, let me help,” you sooth, and just when he thinks you’re going to be sensible and remove the mutt, instead you pick it up and place it in his lap.

“…!” He’s only able to inhale sharply, face stunned and incredulous as the pup licks and kisses at him with all the affection of a loyalist.

His eyes go up for help again, but you’re gone. Having even slipped out and closed his door without him noticing.

His quirk canceling gloves are in place, so he knows he can just pick it up and set it off him, but for several minutes Shigaraki does nothing but allow the tiny monster to kiss and nibble at him for attention until it grows tired and settles down in his lap for a nap.

Wide garnet eyes stare down at the dog you’d left in his lap carelessly. Tiny and absolutely no threat to anyone. Mascot you wanted it to be, but if they had even the smallest attack it would be injured and killed. His nails dug into the skin of his neck, furiously scratching as his mind blanks.

He only stops when a little lick catches him off guard.

Dark brown eyes stare up at him, innocent and feeble with a long snout and wet nose twitching. It licked his hand.

He’s not thinking when he uses to fingers to pet the dog’s soft little head. It lets him, mouth opening to reveal a long pink tongue and it pants in happiness for the attention.

“Should name you idiot or something, dumb dog.” He huffs, but he doesn’t stop the pets. Even scratching lightly behind the ear as the pup leans into it with a shake of it’s leg. “You get off on strangers touching you or something? Freak.” His insults roll off seamlessly, the pup still happily lolling it’s tongue and rolling in his lap.

Seconds turn to minutes as he relaxes, petting the sweet little animal happily curled in his lap and sleeping.

You find your boss and the pup hours later, both passed out in his gaming chair, one hand laid over it’s back gently.

You take the pup, leaving to put it in the little cage you managed to find and the blankets you cut up to place in with it. The pup wasn’t happy but you hushed it with a few treats and left after putting a blanket on top of the cage to help it sleep.

When you went back to check on the boss, he was awake, elbows leaned on his knees as he looks up at you under his bangs.

“It’s name is Ryo and it will stay in Doc’s care. Not here. Am I clear?”

You smile, almost too sweetly it makes his chest feel like ants are crawling through it, as you nod wordlessly. He hates the smug appearance you wear but only snorts and kicks you out of his room, this time locking his door.

Dividers/@cafekitsune

[lordgrimwing]

Marsupial au

[from this ask!]

The basics: everything is the same but the elves are marsupial and have pouches to carry around their babies!

Why would @nighttimepatrons and I make this au? Because it’s cute. Imagine little elflets trying to climb into their parents’ belly pouches to hide. Imagine the process of pouch-weaning an elflet who is really too big to be climbing in anymore. It’s just cute, ok?

Now, let’s talk about some elves and their pouches!

Nerdanel: Very roomy, very comfy. She’s had a lot of kids in there. Solid 8/10 (points deducted because occupants might get banged against rock she’s chiseling for her latest sculpture)

Feanor: Comfy place to curl up for a snooze but it gets a bit hot, and he will kick you out when he goes to the forge. 7/10

Maedhros: Excellent, so roomy, can easily hold two or more elflets at once, he’ll never bump against pointy table corners. 9/10 (some argue it’s too roomy)

Maglor/Celegorm/Caranthir: it’s fine, I guess, but why would you go in there when Maedhros is an option? 5/10 (at least Celegorm has good stories)

Curufin: “Leaving was the right thing to do, but I miss him sometimes. I miss all of them—who they were.” 3/10 (sample size of 1)

Ambarussar: The only things in those pouches are arrows. Unrated.

Glorfindel: A good place to hide for a few minutes or to peek out of during hikes to enjoy the view but he will evict you when he’s busy. 6/10

Erestor: Due to unfortunate childhood experiences, the only thing getting into this half-elf’s pouch is lent and yeast infections. 1/10 (Glorfindel’s trying to help)

Celeborn: He looks like the weak link during pouch-weaning, but it’s a trick. Grandpa will Not let you inside when mom says no more pouch. 7/10

Galadriel: No one’s dared to get in lately, but Celebrian reports that she was quite comfortable. 5/10 (points deducted for intimidation factor)

Celebrian: Cozy, a little tight with twins, very easy to fall asleep. 8/10

Gil-galad: Little Arwen’s claimed it as hers and only hers, so it mut be good. 7/10 (unfortunately she had to be pulled out after he fell at Sauron’s hands, which is very traumatic for an elflet)

Elrond: Much to his children’s confusion, he doesn’t have a pouch. No one in Melian’s line has one.

Marsupial clothing would be designed so that elflets have pouch access, so it isn’t an uncommon sight for little heads to suddenly poke out from between the folds of a robe, or for an elflet to start pulling at their parent’s clothes, trying to find the opening. Pants are a no-go when an elflet’s involved, there’s just no room to stretch.

Pouch hygiene is very important. A healthy pouch is a little moist and it should be regularly cleaned to prevent itchy yeast infections. Lent and dust can also cause irritation. Elrond gives Glorfindel salves to try to get Erestor to use in his crusty pouch so he doesn’t itch himself raw in his sleep.

There are some less fun parts, too, of course. Like the fact that itty bitty elflets might not be noticed if they fall out of the pouch, leaving them abandoned on the ground and too small to be alone for long. Or the way kidnappers can hold out a sack and some elflets will climb right in because it looks like a pouch. But most of this is happy! (outside of Erestor being relentlessly teased by his human playmates and Arwen being traumatized by Gil-galad’s death)

Oh, did I mention that Gil-galad, Elrond, and Celebrian are a threesome yet, because they are.

And kidnap fam totally happens. E+E like Maedhros’ pouch more than Maglor’s.

Ask me about fics that live rent-free in my head!

[oh-stars]

Anything

Love is doing the dishes even when it's the worst chore ever.

a @steddielovemonth prompt | 982 words | CW: gagging, food issues, sensory issues | Rating: T

--

Jesus H. Christ. Eddie’s two seconds away from blowing chunks and he hasn’t even touched the sink yet. He’d spent the last hour dirting up half of their dishes and now he has to face the consequences. This is why he doesn’t do anything in the kitchen. Laundry? He’s on it. Dusting? Easy peasy. Scrubbing the bathroom? Piece of cake. But the dishes? He gets light headed just thinking about it. 

Steve gets it. He despises doing laundry and physically can’t handle cleaning the bathroom unless it’s an absolute necessity – almost identical to how Eddie feels about the dishes. Steve’s too freaked out by the germs and being stuck in a small room with little ventilation as he uses way too much chemicals to knock out said germs, his head can’t handle it. In the early days of their living arrangement, Eddie’s come home to Steve passed out in the hallway because he overdid it with the cleaning. 

And with Eddie’s fear of the dishes, from the wet food and dirty water containing the cycles of hell in its murky, unknown depths, they’ve figured out a process that works for them. Steve handles the kitchen and dishes, Eddie handles the bathrooms and laundry; they each get a room to clean and a never-ending daily task to manage. 

It never fails, though, that Eddie feels guilty when he cooks something. He usually tries not to cook anything that would mean more than two dishes max and some utensils. He can handle doing one or two dishes at a time, when it doesn’t make sense to fill the sink with soapy water and he can just knock the two out – no risk of reaching his hand into the garbage disposal or having some alien reach back to him. So fixing a sandwich is fine, but cooking a meal… 

Steve assures him it’s fine. They have their things and they’re working together to make this house function. They have a system that works and Steve really doesn’t mind if it means he never has to hunt for missing socks or worry about turning the whites pink any more. 

Yet the guilt persists. 

Eddie scrubs his face with his bare hands and groans as loud as possible. He can do this! It’s just a few dishes. He can do this one thing to help Steve’s day get a little easier… 

He reaches for the bright yellow gloves he bought at the store earlier and shoves his hands into the latex. It was a last minute purchase during his mild mental breakdown at Bradley Big Buy when he was getting the supplies for the dinner he’s prepared for Steve. How could he prepare this elaborate meal for Steve with the purpose of cheering him up, of taking away one more thing he has to do when he comes home (which should be any minute, oh my god), only to leave him a mountain of dishes that will probably be even more crusty than they are now. So he bought the gloves as a way to trick his brain into thinking it’d be different with the gloves on. 

For the record, it’s not. 

Sure, on one hand, his hands are safe from icky textures and surprises, but he can still feel when his hand bumps a stray spoon or knocks into a pot handle. It only takes away some of the sensations that send his spine crawling out of his skin. Even still, he has to put his hand into the water, which means it gets close to the disposal and he can barely see his fingers through all the suds and food particles, even with the bright, almost neon shade he grabbed. 

Steve cleans as he cooks so he only has to do a little bit of dishes at the end, but Eddie didn’t think about that until the sink was filled and he was piling dishes around it. So now he’s stuck tackling Mount Doom on a random weekday like it’s nothing. 

Eddie’s hands hover over the sink. He just has to start, then it’ll be a sprint until he’s done. That’s all it takes. Just have to actually do it. 

His fingertips nearly touch the sudsy water when he jerks back, a gag threatening to rip out of his throat. 

Okay, so it’s not as easy as he thought. 

Eddie glances around the kitchen, trying to find something that’ll help him get through this. His eyes fall onto the small sound system Steve keeps by the stove, no doubt filled with an old Billy Joel tape. Now that could work… He rips off his gloves and takes off. 

Five minutes later and Eddie’s found the perfect tape to drown out the bad feelings while he does the dishes. He pops the mixtape into the cassette player and turns the volume up as loud as he can without getting the cops called on him. Then he pulls his hair up into a bun, snaps the gloves back on and takes a deep breath. 

As a guitar riff rips through the air, Eddie screams along to the lyrics and plunges his hands into the water. 

Fifteen minutes later, Eddie hangs his head over the now empty sink, water draining as Ozzy’s voice rings out. He feels disgusting, exhausted from the effort, but it’s done. He did it. The dishes are dried and put away, counters wiped down, and their dinner is nearly done if the egg timer is anything to go by. 

He peels off his gloves and scrubs his hands raw to get rid of the lingering sensations. His shirt is covered in wet spots and he feels like he’s just returned from battle, but he fucking did it. 

And as Eddie’s slipping on a new shirt, he hears the Beamer pulling into the driveway. Time to surprise Stevie with the best night of his life. 

--

Thanks to @lady-lostmind for betaing!

Ao3 Link

[ask-edd]

I’m excited to see what you’ll do with a new start!

Ask-Edd has brought me much joy and the crossovers went hard

I’ll be sure to ask more here once January arrives

Thank you so much, that means a lot to hear <3

I'll take the time here to talk about it a bit, hope you don't mind

So things for the past few months or so have just been unpleasant to the point of sucking a whole lot, for me and for the people closest to me, so I've been thinking back on stuff that makes me happy, like how I'd literally spend all day, from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed, just doing stuff for this blog, and it was one of the happiest times of my life (not joking)

And while talking to CL today, she brings up the idea of a reboot button on here. At first it was just a little ha ha thought, but again, thinking of how happy this blog made me, I started really thinking

We back and forthed some ideas, and I actually got really excited, thinking of all the stuff I could do and all the fun I could have

I won't spoil the major changes, but I was thinking that like, for a blog called "ask-edd", we don't really ask Edd a lot. The roster is over 40 characters strong, which is impressive, but it's a lot of characters that were just kinda sitting there bc they weren't being asked things. Really it was just spread too thin, so I'd like to downsize (dw, plenty of characters are still askable, it'll just be different)

And it'll be a bit different in that it won't technically be just an ask blog, though the main focus will still be answering questions. It'll just leave room for things like original posts :)

I will say though, if you wanna see more of the blormas (Binyot, Jobel, Crusty, Manny, etc) they're moreso gonna be housed on my EW art blog @hoodies-n-cola, though I'm at least 80% sure I'll keep them here too. I just feel like they can have more focus over there since Edd is supposed to be the focus here

But ye I really look forward to the grand re-opening, I hope y'all enjoy it as much as I feel like I'm going to, and thank you all so much for your support over the past 3 (4 in March!) years <3 <3 <3

[ur-momz-left-nut]

SIMON LOBOTOMY AU (spinoff fanfic)

(PT 1- Too Late for Sex)

Simon walked in the door, looking tired and stressed per-usual. He had dark bags hanging low under his eyes, his mouth was hung open and crusty, and his glasses sank to the tip of his nose and looked as if they would fall off his face if he took another step, but he was too energy deprived to lift a hand and bring them where they needed to be. Betty was always concerned when he came home like this, and nowadays it seemed like it was a part of Simon's daily routine. Simon dropped his shoulders and walked to the couch, Betty took a few steps back to give him some space. He threw his body onto the couch like a heavy backpack, and his glasses flew to the carpet floor. Betty walked over to him and sat down slowly, and gently. She had good posture, and her eyes glistened even though the room was dark. "How was your day, my prince?"

"Oh, Betty." Simon said, eyes perched at the floor.

Betty took one hand and brought it to her partners chin, nudging his eyes to look up at her. He sank his body into her lap, until his whole body was wrapped like a blanket in her arms. Betty stroked his hair. "Tell me my love, you will feel better."

"My day was fine.." He paused

"Well Thats good..." judging by Simon's body language Betty wasn't expecting that kind of response.

"It's just, lately I've been feeling so- different."

"How so?" Betty asked looking down at him in a way that made Simon know he was wanted.

"I just feel so on edge about everything and in the dark about it. I want to talk to people but I can't, it's too hard. I can't even do simple tasks anymore without being reminded of what I've been through in the past. It's being in this world- everything here screams about the memories. I've been feeling like this for a while. I just don't want to burden you. I just want to end it all, Betty." Simon said, now covering his eyes.

Simon brought a gentle hand up to the back of Betty's neck, pulling her closer until their foreheads were touching. They reflected gently curved smiles at one another.

"Oh, my Betty, my sweet Betty. I can't leave you. You're the only one keeping me going. I'd do it all for you."

Betty painted a few soft kisses on Simon, leaving red stains behind.

"Oh, Simon, my sweet Simon. Thank you for telling me," Betty expressed.

Simon closed his eyes, using Betty's crotch as a pillow.

"I think I can fix that..." Betty told Simon.

Simon's eyes flicked open faster than the speed of light. He couldn't lie he was quite aroused by Betty leading him on like that. It took all the energy left in him to shoot her down.

"Betty! not tonight, surely it's too late for that. I would love to though," Was his reply.

"What are you talking about, Simon!" Betty giggled.

Simon took a deep breath in, stuck up one finger and said, "Betty Grof, I regret to inform you that we cannot have sex tonight!"

Betty brought a hand to her mouth and laughed a little louder. Simon was confused. Wasn't this what she was asking?

"Simon! That was not what I was saying, though that would be nice," Betty ruffled his hair.

Simon rolled his face down between Betty's legs and groaned. "Ughh, I feel like such an idiot!"

"Don't, that's my fault, that came out wrong," Betty apologized.

After a bit of silence, the two switched positions on the couch so that Betty was now spooning Simon. Simon had always been the less dominant one in the relationship, but he was ok with that. It was the best thing to feel himself surrendering to Betty, and watch her do her thing, she was good at it. Betty's dominance over Simon could easily enslave him to do whatever he was told.

Simon laid there and absorbed the warmth of Betty's body. He enjoyed the way Betty held him tightly, it made him feel important.

Later on, Simon broke the silence, "If you don't mind me asking sweetie, what did you mean by that?"

"Shhhhhh, you need to sleep. I'll show you in the morning." Simon was asleep in her arms before Betty even finished shushing him.

[kumeko]

A/N: For the Shorelines and Sandcastles zine! My first ship in the game, I’m still very partial to them now. Especially to Kairi being a bit of a shit to Riku XD

…

…

…

…

Riku was a traveller. Kairi had known that going in, had known that since they were little kids, sneaking around the yard as they pretended to explore a jungle. Sora and Riku had always taken the lead, wayward adventurers clearing the path, and she had tagged along because it had looked fun. None of this had changed as they grew up, as backyards became neighbourhoods became cities, as their journeys took them further and further from home.

Even now, half-way through university, Kairi could hear Riku’s wanderlust on the phone as he rambled on and on about his new city. Sitting on her bed, her red blanket half covering her legs, she leaned back against the headboard as she listened to him describe the beaches near his dorm and the crusty old man selling spicy fries. If she closed her eyes, she could see his bright eyes, his small smile. There was none of Sora’s energy in his words, but she preferred it that way. If Sora had been the sun in their childhood, their leader and constant motivator, then Riku had been the earth, stabilizing them all and keeping them on path.

And she was the moon, pulled along by their gravity.

“Kairi?”

She blinked, snapping out of her thoughts. “Huh?”

“Were you listening?” Riku sounded mildly exasperated. In the background, she heard seagulls cry and waves crash. He gently teased, “Or is it past your bedtime?”

“If it is, it’s only because you had to go to another time zone for uni,” Kairi huffed in response, covering up her embarrassment with mock hurt. It wasn’t like her to be so gloomy, especially when their timetables finally synced up for a proper call. “I can’t believe you left your girlfriend behind like that.”

It was an old disagreement, one they delved into when they were bored. She could almost hear him roll his eyes. Wryly, Riku pointed out, “You didn’t even want to apply for this school. What did you say again—that it was too much packing?”

“Well, it was. It took you a day and you don’t even own anything.” Kairi grimaced as she scanned her bedroom. Between her posters and her clothes, she’d have trouble getting the bare necessities. “It’d take me a whole week.”

He chuckled, deep and rich. She’d missed the sound. “You just have too much shit.”

Riku had always been a minimalist, preferring functionality over form. Kairi understood, but only to a point—what was the point in having an entire room if you didn’t personalize it? Why even live if you weren’t actually going to live? The only good thing was that he had an eye for style and quality; if Riku bought something, it would last for years.

“Some of us like having things. Also, that’s sacrilege,” Kairi huffed, wrinkling her nose at the insult. “None of my things are ‘shit’, that’s all Sora’s poor-quality impulse buys.”

“Oh, don’t get me started on that.” RIku groaned. There was a soft thud as he leaned against a wall. “He sent pictures of his room. I don’t think he has a bed anymore. Or a floor.”

“Same-day shipping was a mistake,” Kairi agreed, remembering all of the pictures Sora had sent in the group chat. Alone in a new city, there was no one to protect their poor friend from his terrible lifestyle choices. “Did he get a pet? Or two?”

“I’m not sure,” Riku admitted. She was certain he was rubbing his forehead now, though that wouldn’t save him from his frown-wrinkles. “I thought his roommates were dressing up as a prank, but maybe he really did buy a duck and a dog?”

“This is why I didn’t leave home.” Kairi shook her head sadly. “Look at all the misery I’ve been spared.”

Riku laughed, a short, bark-like sound. “Look at all the adventures you missed.”

“There’s plenty of adventure here,” she countered.

“Like the trip to the ice-cream shop? You can say what you want, but I know the truth.” She heard a squeak as an old window slid open and the seagulls’ cries grew louder. Riku teased, “You just wanted to stay home, didn’t you?”

“It’s comfy here,” she weakly protested.

Riku laughed fondly. “You’re such a homebody.”

“And you’re a nomad,” she retorted.

They’d had this argument before. For fun, when she relaxed on the beach while Riku dreamed of rafts and pirates. Seriously, when they were tykes and she had been scared to step onto the sidewalk.

And now, it hit home like a punch to the gut. It was such a basic fact. She’d known it before they’d started dating, before she’d fallen in love with him. His eyes had always been on the horizon, on the places just out of sight. Hers had always been on the ground, focused on familiar comforts. If he liked travelling, she liked staying still. If he liked adventure, she liked lazing around. And now he had actually left. Would he like his new home? Would he stay? Would she be forced to follow? The questions crowded her throat, wanting to get out, and she stared at the phone.

“Kairi?” He sounded concerned when she didn’t respond. “Kairi?”

She swallowed down her worries, too afraid to ask. Weakly, she grumbled, “You know, it’s not fair you’re right next to the beach. It’s still cold here.”

“I don’t think there actually is ‘winter’ here. Seriously, Kairi, what’s wrong?” Riku replied quickly, not dropping the matter. He’d always been ridiculously perceptive when it came to her.

“Nothing’s wrong,” she mumbled.

“Kairi. You’re a terrible liar.” There was a long silence before he added, “If you want, I’ll ask Sora to call you—”

“No!” Kairi immediately cut him off. It had been an old insecurity of his, comparing himself to Sora, and she knew how hard it must have been for him to suggest that. “It’s not…He doesn’t…I’m just scared.”

Riku breathed in sharply. “Of what?”

“I don’t know…” Kairi ran a hand through her hair. “No, I do know, I’m…here. You’re there. It’s just…It’s exciting over there and it’s boring here and I’m not, I’m not really—” She dropped her hand, staring at her palm. It felt silly, complaining about this. Like she was in elementary school again, crying that the boys had left her behind.

They were adults now. This was just whining. Softly, she whispered, “I miss you.”

In all honesty, that was the root of her fears.

It was silent on his end. A seagull squawked, the wind blew, and she could just picture him leaning against his window, staring at the sea. His expression would be tight, his brows knit, and she really wanted to see his face right now.

Finally, he broke the silence with a simple “Oh.”

That quiet response knocked her back to her senses. Mortified, she flushed. “Never mind, I—”

“You know,” Riku interrupted. “I was going to keep this a secret, but I’m coming home next weekend.”

Kairi almost dropped her phone. “R-really?” she squeaked.

He chuckled. “Yeah, really.”

“Why—” She glanced at the Mickey Mouse calendar on her wall, taking note of the date. “Oh, the long weekend?”

“It is, but that’s not why.” Kairi heard him shift, his clothes rustling in the breeze. “I didn’t come back for the last one.”

She half-wished they’d done a video call instead. Riku had never been much of a talker, his body often speaking for him. Kairi couldn’t read his voice at all. It was terrifying. “Then why?”

“It’s nice out here,” he replied evenly. “There’s a beach. There’s a series of caves. There’s so much to see and do here.”

Kairi had no idea where this was going. “You’re bragging,” she accused.

“A little,” Riku admitted with a laugh. “But the thing is, whenever I find something new, I just want to call you after. I only like finding these places because I want to see your reaction. Even now…I’m just counting down the days till I come home to you.”

She didn’t have to see his face to know how red it was, to hear the slight hitch in his voice whenever he got embarrassed. Not that it mattered; even if they had video on, Kairi wouldn’t have been able to see him. No matter how quickly she blinked, tears filled her eyes. “That’s mushy,” she mumbled, her voice cracking.

“I’m never saying it again,” he stated. “Ever.”

“Still mushy.” Kairi wiped her eyes. “I love you, too.”

There was an embarrassed cough on the other end. Riku cleared his throat. “Hey, Kairi, next time why don’t you visit me.”

Kairi was a homebody. She always would be. Yet, that didn’t mean she didn’t like a vacation every once in a while. Especially if Riku was waiting on the other side, with his warm eyes and confident smirk, with his firm hands and gentle hugs.

She smiled. “I’d like that.”

[gvftea]

“I'm a quite new fan of GVF ( just ine year and a half) but some old fans I've met have told me that Josh and Paige Sara ( who's worked with GVF many times) have had a hidden relationship (or not so much, since it is said that Micah knew it) and that the song The Archer is dedicated to her. Is there anyone who can confirm this rumor that is being discussed out loud?”

I was a huge fan about a year ago and I came to check up on you guys (kinda missed everyone a bit) but let me fill you in on the tea babes:

Josh was weird af growing up and kissed a few girls in their hometown and on school trips no boys wanted to room with him (I’m sure they all knew he was DL and being assholes). Anyways GVF gets huge and mocha or whatever the fuck Josh’s boyfriends name is is ALWAYS with the band but all the fans are like “he’s on payroll, he’s the bands assistant, leave micha alone he deleted all socials cause of dating rumors they are friends” Josh is not gay. But hairy ass Mackenzie kinda outed Josh in that pic of all the girlfriends on insta but everyone chose to ignore it because like they all looked crusty as fuck. like there was NO WAY JOSH WAS FUCKING THAT GUY. There’s this one funny video of micha falling holding all of Josh’s bags leaving a show after they opened up for  Metallica and no one helped him but Jita. Josh’s dumb ass was just waving like Princess Diana while his literal husband is on the floor and just ate shit in front of like 50 people. Anyways everyone’s like: Josh is straight (stop pushing a sexuality onto him) or Josh is gay (you don’t think he’s gay because you all are homophobic) like it was THINK PIECES being sent in on this man’s dick and where it has or hasn’t been. Then there was the “Josh is a virgin waiting for his soulmate who’s a girl that he writes songs about he says it in an interview (that no one can find) and Jake always knows when he writes about this girl he made up in his head that he uses for song lyrics” (like Josh that’s weird af maybe seek help because the lyrics aren’t that good to be doing all that) and there was people who thought JOSH WAS A 27 YEAR OLD VIRGIN ROCKSTAR LIKE HELLO? Then the rumors about girls he’s been with… first Paige.. then that not funny comedian Ali? then a fan who has a little more to love on her body…. The vile thing that were said about this random fan who  allegedly was dating Josh who ran to their car leaving an LA show and jumped in the car and was dating him. That everyone allegedly saw go back stage. And it was a RANDOM ASS GIRL who was a little bigger and everyone bullied the fuck out of her. Then the fake Erika we made up on here.  then that girl who works on a farm that livestreams for fun was also  allegedly fucking him. Then Josh’s power bottom ass comes out and is like “I’m gay lol” and then we were like “8 YEAR BITCH?!?!?!?? you fa-” then we couldn’t tell what mocha looked like so we faught over which white guy he was in the photos Josh’s vocal coach posted. And we dead ass could not tell because micha lost weight (ozempic?) but turns out micha was low key kinda cute after the hair cut and weight loss? And then this whole thing made us realize we don’t know shit about these boys. Then I got better and went out into the world again after lockdown and kinda left the fandom but I will always have a soft spot of GVF and you crazy bitches. With love I hope everyone is doing well and that’s the run down on Josh’s history long story short we know nothing about that hobbit. Lol.

[rayless-reblogs]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you to get to know your mutuals and followers!!

Thanks for thinking of me!

Warm bread. I love bread under any circumstances, but warm bread is so comforting and homey. My dad often bakes bread, and I love getting it when it's all fresh and warm and crusty and a little springy in texture -- even better topped with butter and a bit of honey.

Sad piano music. Sad should be the opposite of happy, but it's sort of like when you deliberately put on a horror movie to feel scared without any reality behind it. Pretty sad piano music puts me in a good writing mood, fosters emotion and ideas without any of the pain or exhaustion that comes from truly being sad.

Multiple adaptations of a property I really like. Is there a classic book or film that people keep revisiting every ten or twenty years? If I see one version, I'm going to want to see all of them and compare the different takes and choices and interpretations. I'm still sad there are so many versions of Anne of Green Gables that simply have been lost to time.

The feeling of having written. Writing itself can be difficult, a slow process that involves me feeling things out paragraph by paragraph. Having finished an entire work, whether it's a oneshot or something longer, makes me feel so happy to know it exists, I made it through, I didn't give up or get bored and leave it.

When you listen to a song and it momentarily takes you back to some point in your past -- you can feel yourself as if you're in a different room, far from here, in a different stage of your life.

[anglophiletraveler]

In My Life

Chapter 22

Something

One issue at a time.  Demelza had a very restless night’s sleep after their discussion about Drake.   Ross hated that she had such a fitful night, tossing and turning, talking in her sleep.   He didn’t like seeing her so upset, but he was sure that he had done the right thing by telling her what Drake had been unable to tell her himself.  Ross left Demelza to sleep in and quietly dressed and got ready to meet the day.   He hadn’t had a chance to speak with her about going to Cornwall for New Year’s because of their talk about Drake, but he knew they were going to have to talk about the visit soon.  But maybe not today, not with Drake coming over later on.  One issue at a time.  

While straightening up the living room, Ross had received a text from his mum saying that they had left London to go home to Cornwall.  He thought it was strange that his mum texted him instead of calling him.  The whole situation with his parents was still niggling at him, but he had to put it aside with Drake coming over in a couple hours.  One issue at a time, Ross thought to himself.   Drake.  The more Ross thought about Drake and the fact that he had told Demelza, the more he thought he should give Drake a call and let him know that his sister is aware that he is gay, so he knew what he could be walking into.  

Ross stepped outside with Seamus and called Drake.

“Ross.  Hi! What’s up?”

“Morning Drake.  Look, I don’t have long to talk, but I just wanted to let you know that last night after everyone had left, I went ahead and told Demelza that you’re gay.”

“Ross!  Why?  I thought we agreed that I was going to tell her.”

“I know and I am sorry, but I hated the fact that I was hiding something from Demelza, and I wanted to be honest and upfront with her.”

“Well, how did she take it?”

“I’m not going to lie to you.  She was upset and cried a little bit about it.  But I think she was more upset that you had kept it from her all of these years.  She didn’t sleep well last night, so I haven’t woken her up yet, so I’m going to get off the phone and fix her something to eat. You still planning on coming over around 1:00?”

“It might be more like 2:00, but yeah I’ll be there.  I’ll text you when I’m on my way over.”

“Okay, sounds good.  We’ll see you later.  Cheers mate.”  Ross hung up.  “Come on Seamus, let's go inside boy.”  

After feeding Seamus, Ross took a look in the fridge to see what he could fix Demelza to eat.  There was some good crusty bread so he decided on French toast and bacon.  He considered himself to be an expert French toast cook, and always sprinkled powdered sugar on it to make it look fancy.

He loaded up the breakfast tray with a pot of tea and two cups, the plate of food, syrup that he had warmed up in the microwave, butter, and a sliced orange on the side.  He had wished that he had a rose to put on the tray to make it perfect.  Maybe next time.  

Ross carefully carried the tray up the stairs.  It didn’t help that Seamus was following him up the stairs.  “Seamus if you trip me, there will be hell to pay.”  Seamus barked back at him as if to tell him to hurry up.  “Shhhh, you’re going to wake up Demelza.”   He hadn’t heard any stirring from the bedroom so hopefully she didn’t hear the commotion on the stairs.  But it didn’t matter since Seamus decided to jump on the bed and laid on top of Demelza  to lick her face.  Demelza woke up giggling at the scene on their bed.  

“Seamus, get down and leave her alone!”  Ross had absolutely no control over the situation with Seamus barking at his master, tail wagging, and Demelza laughing at Seamus.  “Seamus, get down!”  Seamus proceeded to ignore Ross’s demands, and started jumping around on the bed, barking even louder.  

“Come here Seamus!  Come here boy, lay down with me,”  Demelza instructed the hyper beast.  “Well this is definitely a fun way to wake up!  Ross, you’re all dressed, what time is it?”

Ross found a spot to sit on the bed and leaned in to give Demelza a morning kiss.  “Morning love.  It’s about 11:00.  You seemed so restless last night, I let you sleep in, and if we can get this beast out of our bed, I will serve you breakfast in bed milady!”  He got up to retrieve the tray from the dresser where he had placed it out of Seamus’s reach.  “You have French toast, bacon, an orange and some tea.”

Much to Seamus’s dismay , Demelza quickly made him leave the bed when she saw the tray of food.  “Judas Ross!  This is lovely!  What did I do to deserve this?”  She sat up so that Ross could set the tray down on her lap.  

“Oh, just because I love you, and wanted to spoil you!  And like I said, you didn’t seem to sleep well last night, so I wanted you to wake up to something nice.  I wasn’t expecting Seamus to spoil everything and wake you up before I had a chance to.   I’m starting to think Seamus is becoming more your dog than mine!”

Demelza laughed at that while she buttered her French toast and poured a bit of syrup over it.   “Oh he didn’t ruin anything.  Look at his face, he wants back up in bed so badly.”  Demelza took a large bite of her French toast.  “Mmmm Ross this is really good.  Feel free to make this for me anytime you want!  How is this the first time that you’ve ever fixed this for me!!”

“Well, if you will recall, I have been laid up a bit with my foot.  But seeing as how I am pretty much healed, I can spoil you like this again if you like.”

“Mmmm I like. Can I share some of this deliciousness with you?”  She fed Ross a bite of her food.  

“Mmmm well, I did have a couple of bites when I was cooking.  Don’t worry about me, this is for you.”

Demelza took another bite, and then fed Ross another bite.  He laughed at her because her mouth opened as she fed him like a mother feeding her baby.  

“Well, if you insist on feeding me, I’m going to sit closer so I don’t drip syrup all over the bed.”

“Mmmm please do.”  Demelza poured some tea for the both of them.  “So what have you been up to this morning?”

“Oh nothing much.  Picked up the living room, mum texted to let me know that they were on their way home.  I spoke with Drake on the phone, told him what I had told you last night.  He’s still planning on coming over around 2:00.”  He took Demelza’s hand and brought it to his lips.  “So how do you feel about all of this?”

“Well you’re right, I didn’t sleep well last night.  I think I’m just more upset that Drake didn’t confide in me.  We’ve always told each other everything.”

Ross raised his eyebrow at her and smirked, “Everything?”

She smirked back at him, “Well no, not EVERYTHING!  Cheeky you!  But most everything.  I feel sad that he’s been hiding this part of him from me for all of this time.  I guess now when I look back, the signs were there, I just never put it together.”  She ate the last of her bacon and handed the fork to Ross.  “Here, I’m full if you want the rest.”

“Now look at who is being cheeky eating all of the bacon!  Was it crispy enough for ya?” He shoved the last bites of French toast in his mouth.

“Oh yeah, it was perfectly crisp, just the way I like it.  Thanks love.”  

“You’re welcome.”  Ross set the tray on the dresser and slinked back in bed with a sultry look in his eyes.  “Mmmm I think you have a bit of syrup left on your chin.  I better take care of it for you.”  He willingly licked the imaginary syrup off of her chin.  “Mmm there’s some more on your neck.  I better take care of that for you, my love.”  Ross lowered his mouth to Demelza’s neck.  She gladly raised her head to give Ross more room to work his charms.  She let out a moan that sounded like his name which caused him to smile.  

“Rossss.”

“Yes, my love.”  He raised his face to look her in the eyes.  Ross raised up to straddle her lap.

Demelza looked at him with eyes that left no doubt in his mind what she was thinking.  “Ummm, do you think that after my brother leaves today, that we could have the rest of the day just to ourselves?”  She had a hand on each of his thighs, slowly creeping up and down, feeling the muscles in his thighs along the way.  Ross let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes at the sparks running through him as he felt her hands on his body.  He leaned in for a long kiss that left no doubt as to what he was thinking, “You read my mind, luuve.”

“Is that your mind that I feel poking me in the stomach?”

Ross couldn’t help but laugh, “Cheeky you!”  Ross grabbed Demelza and started tickling her in the ribs and Demelza started screaming.  “Rooosssss!!!  Stop it!!!   Bloody hell stooop!!!”  Ross grabbed her and teased her as they rolled around on the bed, laughing and giggling and carrying on.  Seamus started barking and jumped up on the bed wanting in on the fun!!  They ended up with Demelza on top looking down on Ross, copper curls tousled all around her head, still in her lavender baby doll nightie, Ross tracing the edging with the back of his finger, while his other hand was caressing her bare thigh.  “My love, you are a vision to behold, looking down at me.  I am so lucky to have found you on that aeroplane, such a woman, beautiful inside and out.  I need you so much. It feels like it’s been forever since we last joined together.”  Ross’s low voice sent shivers down Demelza’s spine.  She wanted him as much as he wanted her.  She leaned down on him and began to kiss him, at first tenderly, but it didn’t take long before it turned heated, burning between their mouths, moans escaping both of them feeling like they couldn’t get enough of each other.  Demelza had lifted up Ross’s shirt so that she could get to his chest and kiss him all over, running a tongue over his nipples.   Ross hissed, “Oh God Demelza.”  She could smell the natural musk of his body.  He quickly flipped her over and pulled down one of her straps so that he could reveal a breast and began to kiss it and caress the nipple with his tongue.  Demelza unconsciously arched her back into him allowing him more purchase.  “Rossss.  Ohhh…”

Ross ignored the buzzing in his pocket.  Then it buzzed again.  He stopped giving Demelza’s breast attention, and raised up.  “Fuck!!!”

“What is it?  Why did you stop? What’s wrong Ross??  Did I do something wrong??”  Demelza became frantic, since she was very new to this type of situation.

Ross pulled out his phone, “No, no my love, it’s not you it’s your brother!”

“What?”

“He’s on his way over here.  Fuck!  I am so sorry, darlin.  He said he wasn’t coming until around 2:00.   I guess we had better sort ourselves out before he gets here.”

“Bloody hell.  Well that was a mood killer!”

Ross looked at Demelza and gave her a side smile, “That’s putting it mildly.”

********

Demelza was curled up on the sofa, in her sweat pants and an oversized cardigan that looked like it wrapped around her twice, and a pair of Ross’s wool socks.  Ross brought her another cuppa and sat down beside her.  “Oh thank you.  Do you think it’s cold in here?  I’m freezing.”

“No, I’m fine.  Would you like a blanket or an afghan?  I’ll go get you one from the spare bedroom.”  Ross came back with an old crocheted blanket in different shades of blue.  “Here you go love.  Do you want it wrapped around you or laid across your lap?”

“Oh thank you.  Um just lay it across my lap.  How old is this afghan?  Did your mum make it?”

Ross obliged her and then placed the back of his hand on her forehead to see if she had a fever.  “It’s pretty old.  Not sure who made it.  It had actually laid on Claude Anthony’s bed, and when I went away to university, I took it with me so that I would have something of his.  You don’t feel feverish.  I’m worried about you.  Are you going to be alright?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.  Maybe it’s just nerves waiting for Drake.”  She had laid her hand on his face to caress it.  “Are you sure you want me to use this blanket if it was Claude’s?”

“Yes of course, it’s fine.   Babe, would you like me to make myself scarce when Drake gets here so you two can talk in private?  I don’t mind.  I could go to the shop and pick something up for dinner, or just go upstairs.  Whatever you feel comfortable with…”

“Um yeah, maybe.  That’s very thoughtful of you to think of that.  You don’t have to leave though, if you just want to go upstairs for a while after he gets here.  Drake might feel more at ease if it’s just the two of us.  I could always text you when I think it’s okay to come down or if I need you.”

“Sure, sure.  That sounds good.  Whatever you need, Dem.  I’m here for you.”  Ross picked up her hand and kissed it lovingly.  There was a knock at the front door and Ross stood up to get it, but first he had to stop and kiss Demelza’s lips.

Ross opened the door, “Drake, come on in mate.  How’s it going?  Here let me take your coat.”  Ross closed the door and put Drake’s coat away in the closet behind the door.

“Hiya.  Thanks, Ross.  Happy Boxing Day everyone!”  He walked over to give Demelza a hug.  “Sister, you look all snug as a bug there all wrapped up.  Are you sick?”

“No, no, I’ve just caught a chill and can’t get warm.  I’ve even nicked a pair of Ross’s wool socks!  Here, sit down next to me.  Do you want some water, or a cuppa?”

“Yeah that sounds good, I’ll have some tea.  Hi Seamus, how ya doin?”  Drake couldn’t resist giving Seamus a hug and some attention.

Ross was smiling at Drake with Seamus.  “Well, when Demelza and I decide to go to Switzerland, we will have to hire you and Michael to take care of Seamus for us.  I’ll go make a pot of tea for the two of you.”

Drake looked at Demelza.  “So Switzerland, eh?  That will be really nice.  I’ve heard it’s really pretty there.”

“Yes, it will be nice to get away, but we will have to figure out where to fit it in since we have to go to Nampara over New Year’s.”

“How do you feel about going back to Cornwall after all these years?”

“Well, I haven’t had much time to take it all in and talk about it with Ross.  I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a tad nervie about it.  You know, ‘bout the possibility of running into da.  Have you heard from Sam lately?”

“Uh yeah, I had an email from him last night when we got home.”  Demelza bowed her head a little when Drake said ‘when we got home’.   “He said things are going great at the orphanage that he’s working at.  The kids were all excited for Christmas.  They don’t get much in the way of gifts, mainly things like an orange, candy canes, that sort of thing.  But he said someone donated some toys for the kids, so that was nice.”

Ross walked back in with a tray holding a pot of tea, sugar and cream and some lemon, along with a cup and saucer for Drake, and some biscuits.  

“Wow Ross, that’s very nice of you.”  Drake said.

“Well, I couldn’t remember how you liked your tea, so I put a little bit of everything on there.  Enjoy!  I’m going to go upstairs for a bit.  Do you need another blanket?”  He bent over and gave Demelza another reassuring kiss. 

“No, I'm good. Thanks babe.”  Demelza watched him leave the room and then poured Drake a cup of tea.

And then the awkward lull set in between the two siblings.  They gave each other quick glances, each wondering who was going to speak up first.  

Demelza cleared her throat and tried to speak.  “So. Um…”

A fidgety Drake took a big sigh and decided to just dive in.  “So yeah.  Ross said that he told you that I’m, um, gay.   Sooo, how do ya feel ‘bout tha?”

“How do I feel about it?  Well let’s see…  I’m still proper gobsmacked over it.  Judas Drake! I never suspected it at all.”

“You didn’t think it was strange that I never went out with anyone, any girls I mean.”

“I just thought you were being shy and awkward like you’ve always been.  Drake, I love you.  I always have and I always will.  Nothing’s going to change how I feel about ya.  I kinda feel like you’re my son since I’ve practically raised you since you were born.”

“Tha’s a relief.”  His eyes started welling up.  “I’m sorry that I’ve never told ya.  I just didn’t want ya to think less of me.  I didn’t want to lose you like Michael lost his family.  I couldn’t risk…”  he started to really cry and let it out, Demelza pulled him in and put her arms around him and started to gently rock him like a mom would cradle her child.  

“Judas Drake!  I would never turn my back on you.  I just feel so bad that you’ve held this secret for so long.  What a heavy burden that must have been all these years.  I’m kind of upset that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me after everything that we’ve been through.”

“I’m sorry Dem.  I’m so sorry.  Sam is never around, so you and Michael are my whole world.”

Demelza held him up so he could wipe his tears from his face.  “Have ya told Sam?”

Drake just shook his head no.  “He’s so hell, fire and damnation.  I’m scared that he’ll stop talking to me.”

“Oh I don’t know.  He might surprise you.  Brotherly love is a powerful thing.  Would you like me to tell him?  Hmm?”

“I don’t know.  Lemme think about it.”

*********

Ross had been worried about Demelza and Drake, so he stopped midway up the stairs to sit down and listen to the conversation to make sure everything went alright.  He was quite fond of Drake, and was beginning to think of him as a brother or a brother-in-law already.  At times, he felt guilty about feeling that way about someone else that wasn’t Claude Anthony.  He had never thought about having a brother-in-law, mainly because Elizabeth was an only child.   The relationship between Demelza and Drake had confused him at first, but the more he learned about their family dynamics, the more he understood it.  Drake was the youngest of the family and was very young when their mother died, so it was only natural that he looked up to Demelza as a surrogate mother at times.  It didn’t seem like they kept in touch with the rest of the brothers except for Sam.  It sounded like they had all scattered as soon as they could leave home.  

“So tell me about Michael, and your relationship with him.  How did the two of you meet?”

Drake smiled at the motherly tone Demelza took with her questions about Michael.  “Well, we’ve been together for three years.  About two years ago we moved in together…”

Demelza stopped him, “Wait!  Before you go any further, have the two of you been careful with each other and previous partners?  Like do you wear condoms and have you been tested?  Both of you I mean, because there’s a lot of shite out there.”

This made Ross smile to himself, Demelza taking over the motherly role in making sure that Drake and Michael had taken precautions.  

Drake smiled at Demelza asking him about wearing condoms and such.  “Yes, sister, we’ve been very careful.  We each got tested every couple of months in the beginning of our relationship.  And to be honest, I’ve only had one other partner.  Michael has had a couple, but we are both clean, so you don’t have to worry about that.  I love him Dem, and he loves me.  I love him more than anythin in this world and I want to spend the rest of my life with him.”

Demelza loved hearing her brother talk about Michael like this.  She couldn’t help but smile at the way his eyes sparkled when he talked about Michael, and their relationship.  This is what she’s always wanted for her brother - someone to love. Drake talked about how they first met at the dry cleaners when Michael had dropped off some clothes to be cleaned.  He was going for a job interview and needed his suit cleaned and pressed.  How they stood there making idle chit chat with one another for about 20 minutes.  When Michael came back to pick up his clothes, they ended up going out for a pint after the store closed.  The next week Michael came back again to drop off a jumper to get cleaned.  Drake had laughed that every week Michael would find some piece of clothing that he would need to drop off until he had run out of clothes!  Michael finally asked Drake out to celebrate him getting the sales job at the hotel where he had the interview.  

“We took things slow for the first couple of months, but it was hard.  Neither one of us had much experience, ya know, with relationships.  And with his family kicking him out of the house, he was pretty much a loner, and with our family history not being any better, we were both skittish like colts, afraid of getting hurt.  But, here we are three years later and still going strong.  We get each other ya know.  He’s been after me to tell you, and I had been thinking lately of tellin ya.  Then when Ross walked in on us, well, he didn’t give me any choice!”

“Good!  I’m glad he didn’t give you any choice!  Oh Drake, I’m so glad that you’re finally being open with me, and as far as I’m concerned, you can be open with everyone, but that’s not my call, it’s yours and I’ll respect your wishes.  But I think you’ll find that the more open you are, the happier you will be.”

“I reckon you’re right, sister.  It might take some getting used to, but it would be nice not caring what anyone else thinks.”

Demelza leaned over and gave her brother a big hug.  “I love you Drakie!  I just want you to be happy, and to be loved by somebody special, and it looks like you’ve found that!  Hey!”

Drake sat back from his sister, “What?”

“You two should get married!!”

“Married!  I don’t know about that.”

“Well why not?  You’ve been together long enough!”

“I bet you’ll be the first one to get married out of us.  You and Ross for sure will be gettin married soon!”

Ross was still sitting on the stairs and perked his ears up at this, curious to hear what Demelza would say.

“Maybe, but we haven’t been together nearly as long as you and Michael have.”  They both started laughing at each other.  “We’ll see.  Oh Lord, who would have ever thought all of those years ago, growing up in that shack, that we two would be sitting here together, free from da and Cornwall, with lives that we can be proud of, and the both of us talking of getting married.”

“Do you think mum would be upset about me being gay?”

“No, mum didn’t have it in her to hate.  I think she would be understanding of it all.  And I think that she would be that proud of us.”  Demelza had tears in her eyes thinking about her mum.

Drake was holding Dem’s hands, “I hope so.  You have more memory of her than I do, so I will take your word for it.”  Drake stood up and stretched his arms.  It had been a long, emotional chat.  “Well, I think I’m going to be going.  We’re going out for dinner tonight with friends.”

Demelza stood up and grabbed her tall brother around the waist.  “Well, I guess I’ll let you go if I must.  I’ll talk to you when we figure out what we’re doing for New Year’s and Cornwall.”

Drake started for the door, “Okay sounds good.  Give Ross a hug for me.  Cheers, sister!”

“Cheers.”  Demelza closed the door behind Drake, and leaned against it and let out a big sigh.  She walked over to the staircase and crept around the wall of the staircase and scared Ross.  

“Oh shit you scared me!!  How’d you know I was here?”

Demelza was laughing at him, “Because I could tell you didn’t go up all of the stairs, ya wanker!”

“Are you mad at me for listening in?  I was just worried about you.”

“Noo, I’m not mad.  But you have to come down and hold me.”

Ross smiled at her, “I can do that.”

**********

Ross had gotten another blanket to add to the other one that was already in use.   The rest of the afternoon was spent curled up on the couch together, snacking on leftovers, snogging every now and then, binging on “The Crown”.  Ross wasn’t a fan of the series, but Demelza had been enjoying it so that’s all that mattered.  Tomorrow was Sunday so they had another day to themselves which they were both looking forward to.  Just the two of them hiding from the outside world.   They needed this time together, just to be together, talk about things or not talk and just, hold each other.  Ross was hoping that there would be a lot of lovemaking tonight.  It had been two nights since their first night together, so he knew he was going to still be careful and not hurt Demelza.  They were sitting in a position where Ross could easily lay kisses on Demelza’s neck and blow in her ear to make her giggle.  

“How do we know that any of this is true?” Ross asked of ‘The Crown’.

“Well, I’m sure there are some documents in archives that maybe they’ve read.  I don’t believe that all of it is true.  But you know there are always leaks from the palace,” explained Demelza.

“I suppose.  So, do you want to talk about next weekend in Cornwall?” Ross asked.

Demelza sighed and paused the program, “I guess we should.  I haven’t been back in years because I’ve never wanted to risk running into my da, but your mum seemed to have her heart set on it, so I couldn’t say no.  Has it been some sort of tradition that you go down for New Year’s?”

“No not at all, but you’re right about mum, she sure did seem like she had her heart set on us coming.  I wonder if they’re planning on telling me what’s going on.”

“Maybe.  My last concert is on the 30th, so I’m free after that.  I need to practise tomorrow.   It will be nice to see Caroline again.  What do you think we will be doing while we’re there?”

“I don’t know really, other than going to Caroline’s party.  It’ll be nice to see Jud and Prudi again.  I haven’t seen them in a long time.  Do you know how to ride?  We could always go out for a short ride if the weather isn’t bad.”

“Nope.  I’ve never been on a horse.”

“Do you want to learn?  I could teach you.  Our horses are pretty gentle.”

“Um.  Sure, I wouldn’t mind trying it if the weather is good.  It’s usually warmer down there.”

“Maybe I can introduce you to some of my friends from when I was growing up.  I’m sure that you will like them.  Most of them are related to my assistant Jenny.  She might be around as well.  And of course Jud and Prudie will be around as well.”

“Oh that’s right, your servants.”

“They aren’t my servants!”

“So, I’m not sure how it works… do they bow when they enter the room or leave the room, and do they stand outside the front door when guests pull up the driveway like on Downton Abbey?”

“Demelza of course not…”  Ross spotted Dem giggling at him now and he realised she was teasing him.  “Oh bloody hell, you mad nutter!”  He proceeded to tickle Demelza until they were both rolling on the floor laughing, Seamus barking at his crazy owners.  

“Does your da usually get out of Illogan much?  I don’t want to run into him either.”

“No, from what I’ve heard he usually sticks close to home, whatever is left of it.  Ross, I don’t know what I would do if I saw him again.  The last thing I want to do is to break down and cry.  I don’t want to give him that satisfaction.”

“Well, we don’t have any reason to go to Illogan, so we should be safe.  I could always punch him out for you.  I’d love to do that.”

“Judas Ross no!  Violence is never the answer.  I had enough of that shite living in that house. Besides, he’s not worth it.”

“I would if you wanted me to.  I’m sure Charles will try to get us to come over to Trenwith for a family dinner at some point.”

“And… will we go?”

“Hell no!  I have no desire to sit across the dinner table from Francis and Elizabeth and their son.”

“Ross, it’s been a long time since all of that happened.  Don’t you think you can move on from it? He is your cousin after all.”

“I have moved on.  I still have love for Francis in my heart, and truthfully, if dinner would just be with Francis I might consider it, but not with Elizabeth.”

“Doesn’t sound like you’ve moved on, Ross.”

He pulled Demelza up on his lap so he could look her in the face.  “I have moved on.  Do you know how I know?  It’s because I’ve been able to open my heart again to you.  Only you.  I love only you.  But I realised a long time again how Elizabeth is manipulative and can play games with people and it sickens me.  I don’t want to be near her because I know she’ll pull this whole ‘Oh Ross, can’t we be friends.  I’m sorry that I hurt you,’ and put this fake face on.  It makes my stomach turn just thinking about it.”

“Are you still that vulnerable to her charms?” Demelza asked seriously.

“No!  Not at all.  I just… damnit!  I’m not explaining this very well.  What would you do if your dad told you that he is a changed man, that he needs you to come home, and that he’s not like he used to be.  Would you believe him?”

“Fuck no!  Not a word!”  Ross raised an eyebrow at Demelza because she rarely used the F word and it tickled him.

“That’s how I feel about Elizabeth.  Disgust has replaced the pain.  I just don’t want to be around her and see her be all fake towards me and other people, because I’ve learned what kind of a person she really is.  Does that make sense?”

“I think so.  I really have no desire to meet her but I would if you wanted me to.  So that settles that!  No da, no Elizabeth!”  She leaned in to give him a kiss to seal it.  “So, it’s what, a five hour drive down there?”

“Yep.  We can leave first thing in the morning on the 31st and get there around 1 o’clock barring any bad weather.”

“Sounds good.  Now, sleeping arrangements while we are there.  I’m assuming you and I will be in separate rooms?”

“What? No, why on earth would we do that?”

“Ross, out of respect for your parents.  They probably don’t want us sharing a bed while we are there.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure that won’t be an issue, and if it is, we will go find a hotel room, because I am not sleeping in a separate bedroom from you!”  

“Have you ever slept with Elizabeth in your bed at Nampara?”

“No.  She never wanted to spend much time at Nampara.  And I’ve never brought any other woman home to Nampara.  The kind of women I used to date before you were not the kind that you want to bring home to your mother.”

“Oh.  So I’m the first to sleep in your bed?”

“You are the very first, and if I have anything to say about it, you will be the last, my love.”

“Ahhh interesting.”

He put his hands on the back of her head and pulled her in for a full on kiss, teeth accidentally clashing.  Ross ran his tongue over Demelza’s lips, so she opened her mouth for his tongue to explore her mouth once again.  Ross started to moan.  “How about I grab us a bottle of wine and some glasses, and you can grab us some food, and we take it upstairs and get comfortable up there.”

“Mmmm I like that idea.  Last one upstairs is a rotten egg!!” Demelza laughed at him as they raced off the sofa to the kitchen.

*********

It was early evening, but it’s the time of year where the sky was getting dark early so Demelza turned a bedside lamp on.  She had her back turned towards Ross, and started pulling her sweatshirt off and then she remembered what she was wearing underneath and smiled.  She slowly walked over to Ross and placed her hands on his chest, prompting Ross to place his hands on her round arse cheeks giving them a squeeze.  Her blue eyes were sparkling up at his bourbon coloured eyes. They stood there for a moment smiling  just looking into each other’s eyes.

“Ross, would you like to undress me?”

“Mmmm, yes please.”  He loosened her bottoms with his thumbs and let her lounge pants drop to the floor.  She carefully stepped out of them, but she noticed that he hadn’t looked at what she was wearing underneath them.  He pulled her sweatshirt off and then gasped!  

“Demelza, what are you wearing?”  He had a giddy smile on his face.  She stepped back so he could see all of her.  She was wearing her Star Wars bra and bottoms.  Her confidence had come back to her earlier in the day, so she quickly put them on under her sweats when he thought she was in the bathroom!!

Demelza struck a pose like a model and then twirled around.  “Do you like it?”

Ross was chuckling by now, “I love it!!  You little vixen when did you put those on?”

“Oh I put them on earlier when I went to the bathroom.  Do you think it looks slutty?”

“Mmmm no, not at all.  It accentuates everything perfectly.  Is this what you changed out of last night?”

Demelza looked down and bit her lip, “Yes.  I chickened out at the last minute because I was afraid that you would think it looked slutty.”

“Awww baby you never have to be afraid with me.  I love it.  I love what you wore to bed last night.  I love you in sweats.  Now, I am feeling very overdressed right now.  Care to do something about that?”

“With pleasure.”  Demelza quickly pulled off his t-shirt and started kissing and biting his neck and jawline.  She couldn’t help but rub her face in the mass of soft curls on his chest.  “So beautiful,” she whispered.  She unbuckled his belt and unzipped his jeans.  She struggled a little at this but she would learn to get better at it.  She shoved his jeans down to the floor, grabbing his firm arse along the way.  Ross didn’t waste time stepping out of the jeans and picked his love up as she wrapped her legs around his waist.  Passionate kisses ensued with exploring tongues, lips everywhere, moans coming from both of them.  Ross tripped on something on the floor and tried his best not to drop Demelza on the bed, but it didn’t work and they both fell on the bed, bouncing and laughing.  

“So much for me trying to be romantic!” Ross said laughing.  He scooted closer to her face, noses rubbing against each other.  

Demelza rolled over on her side to admire Ross’s body some more, lightly caressing him with her fingers.  Her lips made their way down his torso laying kisses and small bites along the way.  She heard light whispers of her name.  Her caresses made their way down to his muscled thighs avoiding his hardening member.  She wasn’t quite that brave yet.  Ross was enjoying laying there while she explored his body some more.  He wanted her to get comfortable with his body and their bodies together in lovemaking.  “I am yours to do with as you wish, my love,” he said softly.    

“Close your eyes,” Demelza asked.  He sighed and did as she asked.  She didn’t want him to watch her explore his body.  She climbed on top of him and straddled his lap while she ran both hands up and down his chest.  She leaned down to lavish attention on his right nipple, gently biting on it, blowing on it.  Then she started paying attention to the other nipple.  She hadn’t noticed that Ross had grabbed her by the buttocks and gently started moving her up and down.  Both of their under garments were still on causing friction between the two of them, adding to the tension between them.  

Ross opened his eyes and looked at the vision of Demelza sitting on top of him.  Her eyes were closed, lips slightly parted.  This was a sight that he would never tire of.  He sat up so he could unhook the Star Wars bra.  “This has to come off, baby,” and he devoured her left breast causing Demelza to gasp and moan, “Ross!”  She wrapped her hands around the back of his head running her fingers through his hair.  He started kissing his way over to the other breast, sucking hard on the underside of the breast.  He wanted to leave his mark on her but was sure to leave it where only her eyes could see it.  Demelza’s head was laying back, her flaming hair cascading down her back.   Ross was awed by just how beautiful she looked at this moment. He was torn between watching her or rolling them over so he could remove their bottoms.  He decided on the latter, and held her as he flipped her over on her back.  Locking eyes with Demelza, Ross made quick work out of removing her knickers.  Her arms were laying at the side of her head, mouth slightly open.  She looked like a goddess laying there like this.  He decided to slow things down a little to make everything last longer.  He grabbed her left foot and massaged it a little, and then brought her foot to his mouth so that he could kiss her ankle.  Then he held her bent leg so that he could nip and kiss his way up her calf.  When he got to her knee she started giggling at the light touches he was placing at her kneecap.  He had forgotten this was one of her ticklish spots!  “Oh my dear, there’s a better spot that I want to tickle you,” he said with a low voice. 

He reminded her of a panther as he crawled up in between her legs, the muscles in his gorgeous arms flexing.  He laid kisses on her belly and her hips, making his way down to her most intimate spot.  Demelza’s mind was going a mile a minute.  She knew where he was going, and had heard about how good it was supposed to be, but she wasn’t sure about it. 

 “Um, Ross…”

“Mmmm…”

“You don’t have to do that if you don’t want to.”

Ross stopped what he was doing and looked up at her.  “I know I don’t have to.  I want to.  I want to give you pleasure.  Do you not want me to?”

“I don’t know. I’m kind of nervous about it.”

Ross tried to not look disappointed.  Giving a woman pleasure with his mouth was one of his favourite parts of making love.  “How about you let me try, and if you really don’t like it and want me to stop, just say so, and I’ll stop.  No pressure, okay?”

Demelza gave him a slight smile and shook her head, “Okay.”

Ross proceeded to lower his head and nuzzle gently into the patch of copper curls, fingers caressing her folds.  Demelza took a deep breath to try to relax. “Demelza you’re so beautiful.”  (She wasn’t quite sure what to think about that compliment.)  Butterfly kisses soon turned into licks.  Ross moved his right hand up to her belly to caress her, hopefully relaxing her.  Having not heard any complaints from Demelza, Ross decided to amp up the intensity with his actions.  Demelza let out an “Ohhhh”.  Ross raised his head in panic and asked if she was alright to which she responded, “Oh yesss…”  That put a smile on Ross’s face and he continued with his ministrations.  He wanted her to feel how much he loved her and how much he enjoyed giving her pleasure.  All of his concentration was on her and the lovely noises she was starting to make.  He felt her hand in his hair giving a slight pull.  She hadn’t realised that she was starting to raise her hips in response to everything she was feeling.  “Oh Judas Ross.”  She could feel the burn in her low belly start to build.  “Please Ross… “   Unfortunately, Ross’s hardness was starting to be a bit painful hearing her pleas but he was determined to bring Demelza to her end of things first.  He could hear her whimper, and felt her pull on his hair more than before.  Ross looked up at Demelza and was enamoured by the look on her face.  So beautiful.  She had started to caress one of her breasts which totally blew his mind.  He wondered if she even realised that she was doing it.  

“Oh Ross, please….”

“Please what, my love?”

“I don’t know, just….”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“NO!  Don’t, don’t stop!  I just …”  She could feel the throbbing in her centre, but she couldn’t vocalise it.  She swore she could hear her own blood rushing through her veins.  

Ross enjoyed the fact that she didn’t know what she wanted, but he had a feeling he knew what she needed. He stopped what he was doing which made Demelza yell out “hey!”  Ross chuckled, “hang on, hang on”.  He moved up to place a couple of pillows under her head so that she could sit up more and watch Ross if she wanted to.  “There, that should make you more comfortable.  Enjoy the view if you like.”  Ross laid himself between Demelza's legs once again and slipped his hands under her buttocks and lifted her so that he could get in a better position to finish what he had started.  She felt completely lost in the sensations that Ross was creating with every movement he made with his mouth.  If someone had yelled fire she didn’t think she would be able to move!

She started trembling and could feel her end coming close.  Between Ross’s moans and that of her own, she finally let go.  “Rooosss!” Tears were streaming down her face.  She didn’t know why, but they weren’t sad tears.  Ross finally raised his head and saw that she was still shaking a little and climbed up on top of her and wrapped his arms around her to help warm her up, while his lips kissed her lips passionately and full of love. The thought ran through her mind that she was tasting herself on Ross’s lips.  

Ross looked up at Demelza and wiped away her tears, “Are you alright, love?”  He was worried that this might have been too much too soon for her.  

“Yes.  I’m just a little…”

“Overwhelmed?”

“Yes.  It was very …”

“Intense?”

“Very!”  She smiled and ran her fingers through his hair, pulling him back down for another kiss.  “Mmmm but just in case you were wondering, you can do that to me anytime you want.”

Ross started chuckling, “I’ll keep that in mind milady.”  Ross could feel Demelza’s hands reach under the elastic band at the back of his boxers to squeeze his cheeks and push down his boxers.  Ross helped her pull them off.  Demelza reached for his member and he grabbed her wrist, “Please don’t I’m too close, and I want to be inside of you.”

She smiled at him and moved her hands to his glorious chest of brown curls.  She had never thought a hairy chest was attractive until she met Ross.  “You are all mine,” she whispered.  “Mmm yes my love, I am all yours, and you’re all mine.  Every square inch of you.”  And with that he entered her slowly, both of them gasping at the same time.  Ross dropped his head to Demelza’s neck, “God, Demelza.  You feel so fucking good.”  He waited a little bit to let her adjust before pulling out.  He raised up to look her in the eyes, her face slightly flushed.  “Please know that I love you,” his face and voice expressing his seriousness.  Demelza placed her hand on his face, “I do, my love,” and she reached up and kissed him firmly on his lips.  She could see the perspiration beading down his face and neck and decided she wanted to taste him and began to run her tongue slowly from his clavicle all the way up his neck, making him shiver.  He tastes salty like the sea air she thought. “Oh bloody hell, Demelza!”  Ross proceeded to pull out and enter her again, trying to go slow to make it last but he was already pretty aroused.  

“Dem…”

Demelza covered his mouth with her finger, and shushed him, “Shhhh… stop talking and make love to me.”  She couldn’t help but smile up at him, as he smiled back at her.  

“Are you laughing at me?” Ross asked.  

“Maybe.  You’re so sweet to worry about me but I’m fine.”  She raised up and pushed back at him so that she was straddling his lap. She wrapped both of her hands around his neck and pulled him in for a long, passionate kiss.

“Oh you’re more than fine Demelza.”  Pretty soon tongues and lips went everywhere, Ross had his hands on Demelza’s hips, helping her raise up on and down on him, his eyes black with passion.  The heat between them was undeniable.  Demelza was gasping and moaning louder than ever before with the position she was in causing her to feel Ross deeper than before.  Ross was feeling himself get closer to his end but he wanted Demelza to come again and had a feeling that she was getting close.  He moved his thumb between them at where they were joined to help her along.  “Ohh, Ross!  So deep.”  She leaned her head on his head shoulder.  Ross whispered in her ear, “Come for me my love.”  Demelza heard an unfamiliar scream and then realised that it was her voice.  A few strokes later she heard Ross moaning in his climax, and laboured breathing coming from both of them. 

Ross grabbed her face in his hands and kissed her like he was never going to see her again.  Ross laid Demelza down on the bed managing to keep his lips on her.  Demelza couldn’t get enough of the feeling of their bodies pressed against each other and wrapped her legs around him, as Ross slid his arms under her shoulders ensuring another point of contact. 

When their breathing came back to normal Ross attempted to move off of Demelza, but she stopped him, “Ross no.  Please stay where you are.”

Ross smiled at Demelza, “My love, I am too heavy to lay on you, and I need to clean you up.”

“You’re not too heavy.  Please just stay.”

He kissed her on her forehead, “Alright.”  He pulled the blankets up around them and slid down a little so he could lay his head below her breasts.  It didn’t take long to hear the change in Demelza’s breathing signalling that she had fallen asleep, so he carefully rolled off her and went to the bathroom to get a wash cloth so that he could wipe her clean.  He gently covered them both up and pulled her close to him so that he could hold her for the rest of the night.  He laid there with the love of his life wrapped in his arms, thinking about their wonderful night of lovemaking.  His heart felt so full he thought it might burst.  He knew that their relationship had grown so quickly, but he knew in his heart that she was it for him.  He didn’t want a life without her.  He could feel the scars on her back underneath his fingers.  Scars that her so-called father put there.  Anger flashed through him.  He whispered, “I’ll never let anyone hurt you ever again, my love.”

********

“Something”

Written by George Harrison

Something in the way she moves

Attracts me like no other lover

Something in the way she woos me

I don’t want to leave her now

You know I believe and how

Somewhere in her smile she knows

That I don’t need no other lover

Something in her style that shows me

I don’t want to leave her now

You know I believe and how

You’re asking me will my love grow

I don’t know, I don’t know

You stick around now it may show

I don’t know, I don’t know

Something in the way she knows

And all I have to do is think of her

Something in the things she shows me

I don’t want to leave her now

You know I believe and how

[d-r-a-w-k-w-a-r-d]

Crusty Engineer Advice Pt I?

The first thing about being an engineer is this: it's all about the artist. Everybody new to the game wants to know "what's the magic plugin?" "what are the settings that make a vocal pop?" and a whole bunch of other questions like that. And -to a certain extent- these things are important. But they're not things that get you repeat clients right away. People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou said that, and it's true. In the end, 90% of your clients won't hear that 3dB that you added to the final mix. They'll remember how they felt in the vocal booth. They won't care that the computer hard drive was almost full, leading to fragmentation, or that some newbie saved all his sessions on the desktop, slowing the whole system down. They won't care that a fuse in the power supply blows, or that there aren't multiple hardware headphone likes run to the vocal booth, or whatever. What they WILL remember is how you handled the session. EVERYTHING that happens is on you. Even if it's a hardware failure, even if there's "no way someone could reasonably expect this" or whatever excuse you're using.

If you're a pro, there ARE NO excuses. Period.

The job of an engineer is this: to remove obstacles between the artist's vision and the final music. That's why you're there at all. Your job is to anticipate issues before they happen.

Here is a bit of advice I gave another fellow: Many, MANY young folks ask about assisting, interning, etc. All the time. Maybe they're a musician on the track, maybe they're a friend of the artist. But when they hear good things being done with the music, they start asking, "hey, what compressor are you using? Is that the SSL EQ? Hey, man, can I sit in on your sessions? Like, assist you?"

The vast majority of these people are looking to GET something. They want free lessons on how to be an engineer. They want tips, names of plugins, lists of "presets" (don't get me started!) and to tell their friends that they are "working" in Xyz Studio. These people get told to leave their info with the front desk.

Every once in a while, you come across somebody different. Very seldom, maybe only once or twice a year, you meet somebody who wants to GIVE something. That's a different thing. Now hang on— I'm not talking about taking advantage of somebody. What I mean is, for example: The artist's friend Billy (who played keys on a couple of songs, or whatever) is at the sessions. Many artists like their people there for vibe. Whatever. But let's imagine that Billy comes up to me and says, "Hey, I notice that every time you come in, you switcf each phraseto the chair without the little armrests, and you put the pop filter on a separate stand. Are you interested in having me take care of that next time?"

Now, that is the sort of job that interns get to do: move mic stands, brew coffee, run headphone lines, and so on. And ANY intern will do that, when you tell 'em "hey, I need some more coffee. And can we get TWO sets of cans in the booth for those harmony singers, please?" But the guy or gal who already HAS the other headphones ready just in case, or who starts the coffee when your mug is getting cold, that shows that they care about contributing to a creative and technical environment. It's not all about THEM, it's about the session. About the music. These people's numbers go into my phone.

For example, I was working in Studio A where everything was hardwired and mounted in the walls. Big Name Vocal Talent wanted super-loud headphones. But there's just the jack in the wall. So I wanted to put a headphone amp right next to him so he can crank it up when he wants to. (a good idea in many cases anyway, but it wasn't my job there to tell the studio owner to rewire his room while the talent was waiting. It's my job to fix the damn problem as quickly as possible and not make anybody think about technical issues.)

I had two interns in the room. I said to both of them, "I need to run an extra feed into the big room. Please find me a couple of XLR-phono adapters so I can just use the direct lines." (Again, this place's choice of wiring connectors is not the issue here.)

First dude comes back in a few minutes, "Nope, we don't have any of those in the supply room." Really? Ack! I grab a couple of cables from my go bag and run a feed from the drum room to the vocal room. It ain't pretty, but it'll get the job done. Time for mic check.

Maybe twelve minutes after that, the second intern comes in, all sweaty. "Hey, man, we didn't have any of those, but check it out: can you just plug in to the MIC lines (backward!) and use these gender changers I found, hooked up to direct boxes to switch it back around in the vocal room? Here are phono cables already hooked up." My man.

The first guy got to go back to his Xwitter at the front desk without being inconvenienced, the second guy had an unexpectedly long night because I requested that he assist me for the remainder of the sessions. He's now an engineer in his own right.

TL;DR: Have something to offer, even if it's just the fact that you know you'll need to bring napkins when you walk the pizza back to the lounge room. Or be WILLING to watch for what the SESSION needs (not just what YOU need as info to work on your own tunes.) Too many interns/assistants do only what they're told, only when they're told it. Don't go off doing things without asking the engineer or confirming that it's the right time. But damn, show that you're about something besides yourself.

I can't remember the last time I looked at somebody's resumé first thing. Lack of knowledge and experience can be worked around. But lack of work ethic is a serious flaw. Some of the worst people I've worked with have had degrees from Big Name University and have been unwilling to even consider the possibility that there's another way than theirs. A couple of the best have been mostly self-taught.