#patrick zweig angst

[girliism]

you don’t when it happened but you knew you felt it. patrick falling out of love with you, after twelve long years of marriage. but what had caused it? was it when you gave birth to your son? did he now find your body unattractive? couldn’t have been that, he made sure to tell you how beautiful you were, he worshiped you now no less than he did before, even giving you a daughter two years later. was it when you asked him to retire after he lost the us opening? “pat, maybe it’s time-” patrick stood up abruptly. “no. i’m not retiring, not yet, i still have one good season left in me.” or maybe it was when he started to rekindle with his recently divorced old girlfriend. “tashi said she’d coach me.” patrick said. you didn’t know how to feel as you watched him dry himself off. tashi the gorgeous ex girlfriend that he had weird history with. “oh… tashi.” patrick gave you that look he often gave your son when he was unimpressed with his goofing around during practice. “it’s not like that.” no, it was before that, when him forgetting little things like to kiss you goodbye when he left in the morning, or how he stopped sending you a good night message when he wouldn’t be home in time, turned into him forgetting your wedding anniversary.

“my parents have the kids tonight so it’ll be just us.” you laying on the massage table next to your best friend. the whole day was spent getting your hair and nails done, your body fully waxed and now massaged. “are you gonna do the steak and potatoes or the alfredo?” you hummed thinking. “probably the steak, i just bought this wine that’ll be perfect for it.” so you spent hours making steak just how he liked it, roasting potatoes so they were that perfectly crispy but not burnt. you put on a new dress and wore that perfume he loved, only to wait hours for him to get home. it was 1 am. you scraped your fork back and forth on your empty plate as you stared at the clock. 1:01 am. 29 minutes late patrick stumbled in. drunk. “where were you?” your voice was soft as you watched patrick trip over his own feet. “shit! fucking scared me.” patrick laughed, taking in your appearance. “why are you so dressed up?” you stared blankly at him. “do you what today is?” there’s no way he could have forgotten. right? “saturday.” “the date, patrick, what’s the date.” you were practically begging him to remember. patrick closed his eyes for a second trying to get his half drunk mind to remember. “it’s uh. fuck, the 15th it’s the 15th.” “of may patrick!” you yell at him, trying to hide the fact you were about to cry. you could tell when he finally understood. patrick’s head fell and a deep sigh left him. “shit, baby i’m so sorry” you turned away from him. “the guys, they wanted to get drinks after practice and i lost track of time.” patrick whispered, wrapping his arms around your waist dropping kisses on your shoulder. but he didn’t just forget cause he was out with friends. you thought back on the whole day, how no flowers greeted you when you woke up like usual, or how he didn’t call you to tell you something random that happened at your wedding that you surely forgot but he didn’t cause that day was on repeat in his mind. “there’s food on the table.” you walked away from him, wiping the tears that were falling fast.

the sound of padded feet running down the hall snaps you back to the present as you tear your eyes away from your wedding ring. “mommy, can we make pizza now.” your daughter plopped her little body next to you on the bed. sometimes you wonder if your genes even put up a fight as you stare down at the little girl who looked exactly like her father. “yeah, go grab your brother and i’ll meet you down stairs.” you tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear, watching her running out the room. it was friday, and the kids have been begging for a family pizza making night and patrick finally had an off day. “have you seen my watch, the gold one?” patrick rushes around the room dressed oddly nice. “where are you going?” patrick freezes in the hall. “to uh meet with tashi, she wants us to look over some prints for a campaign.” tashi. “but, tonight we’re supposed to be making pizza, it’s literally all the kids have been asking me about.” you followed patrick to the front door. “i’m really sorry honey, but these prints they have to go out at a certain time and tashi she wants us to look over them together.” it was like that now a days, if tashi called patrick came running. “but daddy, it’s pizza night.” your daughter pouted, dressed up in a little chef outfit. “i know, princess and daddy is very sorry, wait for me a bedtime, i’ll read to you tonight.” your daughter nod saying goodbye before running back into the kitchen. “i want be long.” “ok, i love yo-” the door was slammed.

patrick wasn’t back by bedtime. “he probably just got caught up baby, he’ll read to you next time.” you had to explain to your daughter. you got a sick wave of deja vu siting there at the dinner table. waiting, waiting, and waiting. when patrick got home the house was dark and the stairs creaked as he crept up them. “how was it.” patrick jumped a little, not expecting to see you just sitting there. “fine.” patrick cleared his throat walking into the walk in closet. you smelt it in the air when he walked past. her perfume. it wasn’t faint either, it was as if he rolled around in it. “you smell like her.” patrick let out a sigh walking right past to the bathroom. “we hugged goodbye.” he was hiding something, you could see it in his desperation to get away from you. “did you fuck her?” time froze for a second, the only sounds being the breathing coming from you and patrick. “what?” “did you fuck her, did you have sex with tashi.” you weren’t backing off. “wh-why would i do that? you, you’re crazy.” you weren’t. “answer the question patrick.” tears welled up in your eyes, voice cracking, but you refused to cry. “just fucking answer me.” your voice was loud but still low enough not to wake the kids. patrick squeezed his eyes shut, pinching his nose bridge in annoyance. “i’m not gonna answer such a stupid fucking question.” you huffed. “fine, then do you still love me?” please just say yes and tell me in being paranoid. you thought, picking at the skin of your finger nail. patrick turned to face for the first time since he got back. “of course i do.” the tears you were holding back finally slip when patrick places his hands on your cheeks. you felt that the sliver band that usually rest on his ring finger wasn’t there. you pulled his hand from your cheek stroking over the empty spot. “love.” patrick whispered. “wait wait, please i can explain. it was just this one time, it ment nothing, i love you, please, i do i love you.” the fear of losing you was setting in and patrick’s eyes were started getting watery. you sighed, teary eyed and red nosed. “i really wish you didn’t sound like you were trying to convince yourself of that.” patrick looked at you with wet eyes. “baby.” you pulled your hands out of his and walked out of the room.

(why i’m sad like i didn’t just write this.)

[angelplummie]

TAKING WHAT’S NOT YOURS!

ART X TASHI X PATRICK X F!READER

part 1 part 2

this one is exposition and build up for the smut eventually! enjoy my princesses

tashi duncan stole from you.

in many ways, many times. the first was when she thrashed you in your very first college tennis tournament. you would always remember the sound she made, that war cry. it was like she had decapitated you or something. she stole victory from you that day.

then she did it again, and again, and again. every single time she played you, she beat you. you could annihilate everyone but her, crushed them all to dust. but she was the one person that would not be decimated. you didn’t speak off the court, didn’t look at each other twice in the halls of stanford. but she had this look on her face. this smug, knowing look. here to lose again? it said. and you weren’t some average joe shmoe tennis girl. you were really good. people that had no reason to bolster your ego had told you that, so you knew it to be true. you were fucking brilliant, and she had no right to look at you like you were dirt. you gave her a tough match, but still she looked at you like she knew she was going to win.

when asked about her, all you could say was “i hate that smug bitch.”

what she said about you you didn’t know, and not for lack of trying. you didn’t know if she even spoke of you at all. the thought made you angrier than when she beat you. once, when at the same party, she waved at you.“hi,” she said, and gave you that same i-just-beat-you look. she was taller than you, and craned her neck unnecessarily far to look at you. where did that stupid bitch get off?

she was this towering roadblock, the one thing stopping you from entering the upper echelons of tennis royalty. you had the fucking talent, you had put in the fucking time, you were so fucking good. but you weren’t stanfords sweetheart. you just weren’t. everyone knew you were good, but you weren’t the best.

from the matches you had watched, which was nearly all of them, you were the only person she played that gave her a run for her money. she didn’t sweat the way she did when she played you, the points were never so neck and neck. she should be threatened by you, and yet she looked at you like any other silly college floozy that was the best in her high school. tennis was your life, as much as it was hers. she stole your dignity in that way.

the next time she stole from you was patrick zweig. a sort of boyfriend, an in-between, getting there boyfriend. he could’ve been yours. you could’ve been happy together. but tashi duncan couldn’t have that.

you heard whispers about a night in a hotel room, a threesome, a twosome with a watcher, two guys jacking off on tashi duncan. they could deny, deny, deny, but whatever did or didn’t happen meant patrick zweig never returned your calls anymore. you could still recount the exact tonality and pacing of his answering machine message.

it was fine. it’s whatever. he wasn’t a forever boyfriend anyway.

but once a girl has sex with someone, she expects some degree of loyalty, some sort of goodbye. it wasn’t about him, he was cute, a good-not-great fuck, and never claimed to be serious about you. he didn’t matter. it was the fact she had him. together or not, she had him. he belonged to her. even after they broke up, everyone knew he never liked any of his other many girlfriends like he loved her. they used to walk around hand in hand, kiss, and it made you brim with jealousy. not because you gave any kind of fuck about him as a person, but because she got him instead of you. it was her. all her. she had stolen one more thing.

as time passed, your hatred burned just as bright. you practiced day in day out, hoping that somehow she could see you now, somehow she would know you were her equal.

then you met a boy. art donaldson.

you had known he was involved with her. the hotel threesome stories spared no details of the parties involved, despite factual discrepancies in other areas. but you figured, while she was dating his best friend, you were safe from the curse of tashi duncan. you allowed yourself to fall in love, softly, timidly. having met in american literature, you fostered a little spark. a love, barely the size of a candles flame, flickered in your chest. maybe, you had prayed. maybe him. maybe he was yours. you kissed at new years for the first time, and days later he met your parents. it was new, fresh, but it was love. you loved him.

and then she stole from you for the final time. in one foul swoop, she took everything from you.

it was the final of the college tournament. the two stanford angels playing each other for the victory. the court was red and packed, newly redone. you both wore white. whoever won this was guaranteed a shot at the open in the summer, and that was all you needed. you were so fucking ready. no one was better than you. no one. you had trained so hard, art could attest to it, hell, the entire school could attest to it. ask anyone who saw you around that time, they would’ve seen a scowl on your face and a racket on your back. those who had the pleasure of watching you play would’ve say it: you were fucking good.

that’s why it crushed you. across from her, at match point, advantage duncan, you watched as her knee moved independent from her leg. in between grunting and pelting, there was a crack, and tashi duncan was no more. a hush fell over the crowd as she cried, fell to the ground clutching her knee. you heard that. but you didn’t hear the ear splitting scream that came from your own mouth, couldn’t feel your body sprint, jump the net to crouch by her side. beads of perspiration rolled down her face, scrunched in agony. she bared her teeth like a cornered animal, and looked up at you through her squeezed eyes. her knee looked awful, so you stared at the rest of her. without thought you placed a hand on the top of her head. to comfort her you think.

it was so quiet. the only sound was her crying, her laboured breath stilling your heart to a lifeless thud.

“it’s ok,” you said,”you’re going to be ok, tashi.”

you remembered feeling an inexplicable sadness, a grief that you had never known before. you wanted to get rid of her pain, any and all of it. none of it came from you, you didn’t want her to have it. but that was so quickly forgotten. because as you moved to touch her shoulder with your shaking hand, it was eclipsed by another. a larger hand, the hand of a man. a pale hand. a hand you had touched before, even kissed. the hand of your man.

your eyes met, each with equal fear, horror and sadness. it was then that you knew that the curse of tashi duncan wouldn’t rest until you died. she would steal and steal and steal, even beyond the grave. he looked caught, because he was. he was caught. once you loved tashi you never stopped. he had raced into the court because she had fallen at a game he attended to watch you play, had touched her shoulder with the hand that had held you. he was not yours, as much as you needed him to be. his eyes twinkled with regret, but told you everything you needed to know.

your hand drew away with a flick, like it had given you an electric shock. you rose from tashis tortured body. his hand slipped to where yours had rested. this was all somehow not her fault, while being her fault entirely. you hated her so much it made your heart bleed. you didn’t want anything to do with her anymore. no whisper of her name, no nothing. from this moment on she was dead to you.

you didn’t bother looking over your shoulder to see if art was watching you leave. he wasn’t. the umpire boomed something through a mega phone, something like wait. but you were going home.

in the hall you bumped shoulders with patrick zweig. he was rushing to find her. he looked at you once to apologise hurriedly, twice to utter your name in recognition, and a third time to look at your back and wonder why you were so down. tashi was out. you won by default.

[midwestprincesss]

how did it end?

part 1 || patrick zweig x fem!reader

"you cannot love somebody into loving you"

summary: your relationship with patrick has been on and off for ages. you knew him and he knew you. you love him but he only loves you when he can get something out of it. but then, can that even be considered love?

a/n(READ THIS BITCH): random ass specific fact about the reader but she is skincare obsessed like me. acne prone girlies yk what im talking about. btw I KNOW PATRICK DOESN'T GO TO STANFORD BUT WE WILL PRETEND HE SPENDS A LOT OF TIME THERE OK. also this series will only continue if u guys give me feedback. and hype me up. cause i have no motivation. patrick girlies help me i know ur out there💪 also this first chapter is like. they're friends but pining. no angst yet oopsie

2004, stanford college.

being in love with patrick was difficult. really, really fucking difficult. it was almost like you had to put in an effort to be in love with him. nevertheless, you didn't. to you it just felt easy. you wish you could get rid of the feeling, but it doesn't seem to want to go away.

patrick zweig could be very easily described in one word: player. and by that i don't only mean tennis player.

but he was easy to love, too. if we ignore all the mixed signals he always gave you, he's actually a sweet guy.

he remembers your coffee order. he listens to your problems. he calls you to check up on you. and he takes care of you while you're out partying. and after that. and in the morning. he holds your hair and rubs your back as you puke out whatever the fuck you drank last night. he gives you his clothes. out of all the girls he knows, he gives you his clothes.

this was one of those times.

saturday morning.

you woke up with a horrible headache and with a certain curly-haired boy next to you. you try to remember what happened last night, but you give up after about three minutes of staring at the ceiling in silence. who cares, really? at least you woke up in your bed, and not on a random bench outside. not that patrick would ever let that happen.

he has the key to your dorm. he spent most of his days with you, so you figured it would be totally fine for him to have it.

you rub your eyes sleepily as you look to your left- patrick was not sleeping either.

"morning." he said, simply. you groaned in response.

"glad you asked, and you're welcome." he said sarcastically. "you got fucking wasted, like usual. i had to carry you from the party. not that you couldn't walk, but you just insisted on it. when we finally got here you threw up all over yourself. and then in the toilet, like three times, i think."

your eyes widened in disgust. you looked down at your clothes, expecting to find a now vomit-stained white dress on. to your surprise, you were wearing a dark green tee - you remember you've seen it on patrick once- and a pair of uncomfortably large boxers. you're surprised they didn't fall off while you were sleeping.

"patrick." you said, terrified. "please tell me i took my makeup off before sleeping. or at least washed my face." patrick sighed. 'blah blah blah i have sensitive skin blah blah blah i'll break out if i sleep with my makeup on' you always told him, whenever he was sleeping over.

"you didn't." he said. then went quiet for a few seconds, but just for his own amusement. he thought you looked cute when you were worried. but worried was not a big enough word for the look on your face- you were more like, mortified, maybe? so he decided to stop joking around. "i took your makeup off. i couldn't find those circular white thingies you do it with so i used a towel-"

you cut him off with a laugh. you could actually kiss him. maybe you shouldn't, though. your breath smelled like actual shit. looking to your right, at the nightstand next to your side of the bed, you noticed your earrings and necklace and rings arranged neatly next to eachother and you swore you felt your heart flutter.

you knew patrick cared about you, but you didn't think he would be so attentive. usually, you don't get so drunk, so you can actually do what you need to do by yourself. even then, he insists he should do it for you. but you always refused him, partly because you didn't want to bother him but you were also pretty convinced he would not do things properly. he proved you wrong.

"for how long have you been awake?" you ask him.

"i'm not sure whether i even slept. you kept talking on your sleep. and tossing. and turning. and stealing the blanket. i think you even slapped me once-" he started laughing as you started muttering apologies, but he immediately told you not to worry about it.

you sighed, then you both went silent. you examined his face- he really did seem tired- droopy eyes, dark eyebags, eyelids partially closed. but still smirking at you. no one and nothing could ever wipe that shit-eating grin off his face.

"you look cute." he broke the silence, letting his thumb linger on your cheek.

"i feel like shit." you snickered, hiding your face in your hands but he immediately pulled them away, kissing your knuckles.

that took you by surprise. sure, you and patrick were affectionate with eachother, but this felt way more intimate than usual. what was going on with him?

suddenly, you looked at the time. 10:30 am. you were late for breakfast. like, really late. you figured there wouldn't be anything left in the cafeteria by now.

"shit. we'll have to starve until lunch, patrick" you told him, a hint of irony in your voice.

"don't worry, i'll go get us something from the supermarket." he said as he got up, pulling a grey hoodie over his head. he took his keys and wallet then looked down lovingly at you as you still rested on the bed. "call me if you need anything else" he said , kissing your forehead then leaving. leaving your dorm, but also leaving you swooning over him.

you were in it for good.

[tinytennisskirt]

You and Patrick leave the restaurant on your one month anniversary. You’re both standing outside his car, he says he loves you for the first time. You try to distract him with a bunch of kisses and what not but he notices and questions it. Why didn’t you say it back? He’s all like what are you doing? Do you love him back? or Is it just too early to tell? But you’ve already been dating for a month! You didn’t say it back.

Those Three Words

Summary: as above^ When patrick meets the pretty bartender, his bachelor days are over. reader and patrick quickly become friends, good friends. and after a tipsy confession and a perfect kiss, they start dating. it's new, it's weird, but it's so easy to be in love with you. not as easy to tell you, though. (it turns out more than okay, i promise)

warnings: mentions of drinking. kissing. mentions of sex. angst... hurt/comfort silliness. player pat! turned loverboy! such a good moment for him. also i changed one month to two, i hope you don't mind!

It was different with you. Patrick knew that. You were the girl who put the habits of a casual man to rest. You came into his life, or rather he came into yours ordering a Redbull and two shots of Jaeger from the bar you were working and you looked at him a little oddly, with a cute smile questioning why he didn’t just order a Jaeger bomb. He was out with Art, but his attention stayed on you for the rest of the night. He drank way too much, returning to the bar and asking you for drinks just as an excuse to talk to you more. He emptied his wallet. 

Art had to drag him out and into a taxi, practically shoving him in while he talked about you like a wasted white girl. He woke up the next morning with a killer headache and surprisingly, most of his memories of you, though they were a little altered by the alcohol. He called Art, asking him about the night only to be filled in that he spent it flirting with you. So he was fucked, he deducted. No chance. 

But a few nights later he and Art went back and surprise, you were working again. Patrick usually had it in his head that going out and drinking at bars was for finding women to go home with, but his eyes fell on you and he knew he had to say something. So he walked up the bar, eyeing you in your black t-shirt with a neckline that dipped enough for cleavage paired with your little black skirt. “You again,” you smiled, seeing him approach. Oh fuck, you were as pretty as he remembered. “Glad to see you alive and well.” 

He grinned, sitting at the bar, hands folding in front of him. “Thanks.” He smirked a little.

“What can I get you?” You grinned. He ordered two drinks and to Art’s annoyance, struck up a conversation with you. You were funny and you were interesting and probably one of the most gorgeous women he’d ever spoken to. He tried not to overdrink again just to speak to you, but after helping every customer, you’d come back on your own. Patrick didn’t know what exactly it was about you because no matter the fact his eyes fell on your chest every now and then, he was genuinely hearing what you were saying about Depeche Mode. He just leaned toward you as you spoke and listened. 

Art came up behind him later that night saying he was heading out and begrudgingly, Patrick went with him. You passed him the bill and he opened it to a napkin with your number. A win. A big win. He looked up and you were helping another customer, too busy to say anything to you about it. But he paid in cash and left a $30 tip on top of it. And he left a happy and tipsy man. 

He waited until morning to text you. 

'Hey. Patrick from the bar. How r u?’

You got back to him surprisingly quickly, 'Hungryyyy. You?' You were a perfect woman. He was a simple man. 

‘About the same.’

You messaged back again, ‘Breakfast???’ followed by ‘You know the cafe off main? I’ll be there in 15’. You were asking him out? Or… to breakfast? Fuck, either way, he’d take it. He messaged back, said he’d be there, and bolted out of bed and into the shower. He let his hair air dry and slipped on jeans and a long-sleeved shirt for the chilliness of the morning and soon he was on the street walking there, trying to be on time. He met you on the corner. You knew it was bad when he met a girl and liked her when she was half-dressed only to look at her fully clothed and could say to himself he liked her more. That was you in your sweater and jeans, hair down, comfy and honestly kind of cute. At the bar you were hot, but here you were cute. 

“Good morning,” you smiled at him. What was ‘other women’? What did those words even mean? “You bounce back so well after a night of drinking there’s no way I’d be out of bed at nine in the morning after so many shots.” You smiled. “Hi, Patrick.” 

“Good morning,” he replied, hands in his pockets. “And hi,” He smirked a little as you lead him into the cafe wordlessly. You ordered a croissant and iced coffee and lead him to sit down with you. “So, you’re an early riser?” 

“Sometimes. If I’m honest I wouldn’t be up this early, but my landlord is doing construction and it’s hectic and loud. I’m lucky if I sleep at all, it’s all hours.” You spoke to him like you’d known him forever. It was cute. You told him all about your apartment situation, how you’re pretty sure your landlord pervs on you and he just sat and listened, happily drinking his Americano. 

And it started from there, the slow burn. You hadn’t said anything inherently romantic, but he was content with being your friend if it meant he got to be around you. You’d text a lot, becoming fast friends with similar tastes in music and movies. You were spontaneous and sometimes a little loud, but he really liked that about you. You’d hang out frequently, sometimes multiple days in a row. Sometimes his place and sometimes yours. You liked candy and going to thrift stores and you had a record collection. You’d give him free shots at the bar when you had shifts. He’d show up. Soon you were close to calling him your best friend and it was dawning on Patrick that when women hit on him, he was rejecting them. Supermodel-type women were coming up to him, flirting, and he was shutting them down. He knew he liked you and he knew it was different.  It felt like having a crush, something he hadn’t felt since he was back at MRTA, a kid. 

You ruffled his hair and his ears would go a little pink. He’d flirt with you just the same and sometimes you’d flirt back in good fun, but oh my god, he was head over heels for you. Only you. One singular woman who he had not slept with. He was devoted and completely in it. It was so out of character for him. 

“She’s it,” he said to Art as he paced the living room, energy drink in hand. “She’s got me tangled in her web, there’s no out and for the first time in my life I don’t want one.” 

Art watched his best friend, his eyebrows raised, decently pleased. “Should get your head checked.” 

“I’m dead serious. I think about her when she’s not around, that’s some sort of sign.” Art did all he could not to laugh at the very normal things Patrick was talking about. “She says things and I remember them. For more than ten minutes.” 

“Quick, what’s her name?” 

“Okay, shut the fuck up, you’re no help,” Patrick groaned, flopping back into the armchair behind him. His finger spun the rim of the can he held. The expression on his face could only be described as a mixture of defeat and being plain old grumpy. He was grumpy over you. “I think I like her.” 

Art grinned at Patrick’s confession, knowing the last time he heard Patrick say he liked anyone was back in ninth grade. “So tell her.” 

“I might.” Patrick nodded. As different as things were with you, he would rather tell you than not. He didn’t like the idea that he had genuine feelings, but you were you, so it was fitting. And he had already made plans with you to meet up at a different bar later that night. One with more of a club-like vibe. So he figured it was as good a time as any to tell you- he wasn’t really well-versed in genuine feelings so maybe it wasn’t the best, but he had to tell you somehow. 

He picked you up in his car, Art in the back seat. You and Art had been acquainted through Patrick, obviously, and you smiled, greeting them both. Patrick’s eyes fell on the length of your skirt, short. Your thighs were on full display, legs extending into tall boots that matched the colour of your t-shirt. You were hot, it was becoming a problem. 

“How the fuck do I say anything when fifteen guys are hitting on her at once?” Patrick said to Art over the music. Art grabbed Patrick’s upper arm, chuckling. 

He was a little out of it, buzzed off nicotine. “Kiss her.” He shrugged.

“I’m not kissing her,” Patrick replied. “I have to ask first.” 

Art wasn’t so sure about Patrick’s genuine feelings but Patrick, two shots in, was saying he had to ask? Instead of just hitting on a girl and leaning in? Art believed him entirely now. “Fuck. I don’t know.” 

“You’re good with girls!” 

“So are you!”

“Other girls!” Patrick reasoned. “Ones that will go home with me if I buy them a drink. Not her. How the fuck am I supposed to do this? I just say it? How do you do this with every girl you like? It’s all this? All the time?” He was wigging out a little. It was something new for sure. He wasn’t used to any of this. You’d been friends for six months and you were over on the dancefloor, just a little tipsy, swaying, somewhat ignoring the men who were trying to talk to you, trying to dance with you. He figured there was nothing he could do but accept the fact he was twenty-something with full-on butterflies in his stomach. Art just chuckled and walked away to get Patrick another drink in case things went wrong. 

He thought telling you would be easy, but every time he started toward you, he couldn’t follow through. He’d start overthinking his wording. He’d get interrupted by some other girl who he all but told to fuck off. He was stressing badly. And a new feeling crept up watching these guys come up to you in your short skirt and your low-cut t-shirt. It was something he also hadn’t felt in ages and it was just… jealousy. He was jealous, he was sick and completely riddled with it. A couple of guys who came and went grabbed your hips or your waist and his stomach did a genuine flip before the slight anger kicked in. He just stood, bitter, watching, unable to move. Moving meant telling you. Staying still meant you were free to be touched by other guys and this wasn’t easy at all. 

You walked over, standing in front of him, a little displeased, “You asked me to come out and you’re standing there, glaring at me.” You sighed, arms folded over your chest. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing,” he nodded, tongue pressed to the inside of his cheek, eyes elsewhere. And he only looked back at you when you started laughing. It was a pretty laugh that he often replayed in his head. 

“Oh my god, you’re jealous!” You teased. 

He got defensive, “Of what? Of who?” 

“I don’t know, of the guys out there? You’re jealous they get to dance with me.” 

“Why the fuck would I be jealous of them?” He chuckled, leaning back against the bar. “It’s not like it’s a rarity. You dance with everyone.” 

“I think you really secretly want to dance with me,” you nodded, narrowing your eyes at him. You even went so far as to point a finger. Patrick just rolled his eyes. “Oh my god, you’re so jealous, you can’t even deny it anymore. C’mon gorgeous, we are dancing.” Your hand slipped into his as you pulled him into the crowd. For a guy that could pull any woman with just a simple lean toward them, he was more than surprised by the stunt you were pulling in pulling him closer. It was a little shameless, the way you were close to him. Closer than you’d danced with any of the previous guys- you’d been dodging them, no matter how much they got to touch without asking. 

You made him a stiff. He’d be into it if it meant nothing, but it didn’t and it couldn’t. But that didn’t stop you. It couldn’t. You grinned at his closeness and frankly, he was a little flustered. Out of his character, so fucking far out of it. But he could get into it when you reached up, wrapping your arms around his neck, dancing much too closely for it to be nothing. It was like slow motion, something out of a movie, the pink and purple lights cascading over your body pressed to his. The bass of the song moving through his body, hands on your waist, kept there without being shoved off by you. Welcomed, really. You were so close he could have kissed you, but something in him told him not to. Not like this. Not here. Art was over at the bar, snapping a few pictures on his phone, laughing to himself as he shoved it into his pocket. 

Patrick, completely consumed by the way you were looking at him, felt surprisingly cold when you spun out of his grasp, grinning. He let his hands fall, just a little dumbstruck by what the fuck that just was. It was quite possibly the hottest thing he’d ever experienced. You during the day was so different from you in night-life. You were mesmerizing, easy to watch as you spun back to him. “Feeling better?” You grinned. And you left him, going back to dancing alone. Patrick, god of arrogance and quips, was left speechless. 

He walked back over to Art, mouth a little open. “What the fuck.”  

“You tell her?” 

“No,” Patrick was almost bitter in rebuttal. He sank into the bar stool and ordered another drink. 

“I think she knows,” he grinned over at Patrick who downed the drink in one fell gulp. 

“You think?” He paused for a moment and exhaled. “Fuck.” 

The night died down. You were hungry and Art was pretty done with the place. Patrick carried your boots as you walked barefoot down the sidewalk back to the car, fries from the chip truck in hand. Patrick paid. He didn’t mind. You shared with both boys and Art drove back to Patrick’s apartment. He was going to crash at his, sleep in the living room. So were you, apparently. The three of you took the elevator up. Art said goodnight, jumping over the back of the couch and onto it. It was pretty much enough to ban you both to Patrick’s room. 

Patrick dropped your boots by the door and went to his room as you finished your fries and went to go brush your teeth. He went through his clothes, grabbing you some loose t-shirt and shorts he knew wouldn’t be too big on you. He dropped them to you in the bathroom wordlessly and went to go sit on his bed with some water, trying to level out. 

You emerged a few minutes later in his clothes, your skirt and t-shirt in a ball in your hand, tossed by your boots. “Thank you,” you smiled, sitting on the bed with him. “So, how are you feeling?” You asked, stealing a sip of his water. 

“Decent,” he replied. “Didn’t drink enough, apparently.” 

“Apparently not,” you smiled, handing the water back. He finished it and tossed the solo cup he’d used into the trash next to his bed. “So are we going to talk about it, or are we just going to bed?” 

Patrick didn’t see that coming. He straightened out, his heart picking up just a little. “Hm?” 

“Patrick…” you trailed off, leaning just a little bit forward. “You like me, hm?”

He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t say no, but not confessing felt wrong. “Yeah, I like you. We’re friends.” 

“Ooh, ouch,” you smiled. It was probably the most gorgeous smile he’d ever seen. “Friendzoned.” 

Patrick smirked a little, “You’re still drunk.” 

“Tipsy, baby. Tipsy.” You nodded. His eyes fell on your lips and the way his shirt slipped off your shoulder. “But you know what I mean, Pat. I think, and I have reason to believe you like me. Tell me I’m wrong?” 

He chuckled to himself, looking at his hands, the door, you. He tsked, shaking his head. “I can’t.” He admitted. He said it. You had defeated the player in him.

“Thought so.” Your smile was a little bit evil. “So if I kissed you right now, what would you do?” 

His smirk grew just a little bit bigger and he moved just a little bit closer to you and you moved just a little bit closer to him. The tension was thick. You watched his eyes meet yours, then your lips, back to your eyes. “Not sure. Just have to find out, I guess.” 

“I guess,” you grinned, leaning in the rest of the way, meeting him in the middle. The quiet of his room was quieter and the kiss was slow and passionate. Patrick’s hand on the back of your neck, yours resting on his chest. He kissed you with no intention of anything more or anything less. He even kissed you without tongue- for the first few minutes, after that he figured it was game when you were both lying on your side, just kissing. It was perfect and it was the least hungry kiss he’d possibly ever had. 

It was a good fifteen minutes of slow, yet passionate kisses and it tapered off with small kisses, something Patrick had never experienced before. You kissed him a few last times, short and sweet and it was possibly his favourite part of the whole thing. Next to the fact he kissed the pretty bartender he’d had feelings for since the night he met her. You held his face after, he was just a little breathless despite the calm of the kissing. 

“Patrick.” 

“Yeah?” 

“I like you. I’ve liked you for a while.” You smiled. 

“I think I caught that,” he grinned like an asshole. You’d never been more into him. You gently tapped his arm. All of this, the talking, the everything, was new. And perfect. “How long is ‘a while’?” You hit him a little harder and he just kept grinning. The words he said were so foreign. “I like you too.” You smiled wide, looking quite proud of yourself. “Shut the fuck up.” 

“Make me,” you said. And you went back to kissing. 

Patrick had no problem with saying you were his girlfriend. You’d decided that’s who you were when Patrick later found that you’d changed your name in his contacts to it. He told Art everything, talking about how he’d been missing out this entire time on kissing without sex. The feeling was new and exciting and Art clapped him on the back, trying not to laugh too much at the fact Patrick was a little crazy. But the craze died down. 

Seeing you, kissing you, came so naturally to him it stopped being something of wonder, though he never really felt different about it. You were his first serious girlfriend in years. He was a pretty good boyfriend too. He was over all the time still, with the addition of being able to call you beautiful whenever he wanted to. He took a lot of pleasure in telling guys at the bar to fuck off when they tried to buy you drinks. He was a little possessive but in the hot way, not the controlling gross way. He liked that you wore short skirts when you went out, guys could look, they could try, but it was him who fucked you in the car before heading back home. 

The sex was beyond good. Crazy good. But never the main focus. Patrick took a crazy liking to the fact you kissed his forehead and it was possibly the best feeling in the world when you fell asleep with your head on his chest. He was so serious about you. And he was more than head over heels for you. 

It progressed pretty quickly due to the fact both you and Patrick had feelings for each other for a good while before properly dating. Look at Patrick, he was into you from the very day he met you. 

“I think I’m going to order chinese,” you said from the kitchen. Patrick swung around the corner as you picked up the phone, looking over the menu. “The regular?” He nodded, enjoying his semi-domestic privileges, seeing you without makeup in his kitchen in his clothes. You hopped up on the counter and dialed the number as Patrick came to stand in front of you, hands resting on your hips. “Hi, I’d like to place an order for del-” Patrick, cheeky, kissed your neck, “- delivery.” You giggled a little nervously. You were so cute up on his counter he couldn’t not. “I’d like the four-piece…” You really tried getting through the order, pausing your order to kiss him quickly twice, trying to get him off you, but it didn’t quite work. “I’m sorry,” you said to the man on the other end of the line. “I want-” You couldn’t escape his kisses to your jaw. “Sorry-” You hung up the phone and Patrick picked you up off the counter and you hit the bed just moments later. 

You had turned him into someone he didn’t know he could be. And it didn’t feel like he wasn’t himself. In fucking you, he had words at the tip of his tongue to melt into his string of praise for you, your body, the way you felt and those words were, ‘i love you’. 

You were breathing hard, your head resting on his chest. “Couldn’t even let me order? I’m so hungry.” You sighed happily. Patrick was staring at the ceiling wondering how the fuck he loved you. That was a strong word. He’d only dated you for nearly two months. Your hand gently caressed his chest, his stomach, tracing patterns. No way he was in love with you so early on. But in reality, it wasn’t that early. He’d known you for eight months, liked you and only you for all of it, it made sense but the way it snuck up on him was crazy. So crazy he didn’t even tell Art about it. He just internalized it. 

When two months rolled around, he scraped together a little more money than he really had on his budget and surprised you by taking you somewhere nice. It wasn’t a big anniversary, but for him, it was an achievement. Even Art was surprised, respectfully, that he’d made it so far. 

“So the retrograde is one of the most dangerous times in a year because no matter who you are or what you’re doing, something is bound to change for you and it’s usually something drastic.” You said, eating your food. He was thinking one thing and those three words just echoed around his head. “Patrick?” 

“Exes come back, no travel,” he nodded, showing you he was listening. You smiled and he was only thinking about how perfect you were. 

“What are you thinking about?” You asked, stealing a fry off of his plate. Of course, at a nice place like this, Patrick still ordered a burger. “You’re all quiet. Not that I mind it.” You giggled just a little. He had the cutest girlfriend, he knew that. He had the cutest girlfriend and he was in love with her. You. 

“I’ve never had a two-month anniversary before.” He admit, his elbows on the table. Your eyes widened just a little. He smirked just a bit. “No mocking.” 

“Me? I would never,” you said, shooting him a sly grin. You let the slyness dissipate, eyes growing sweet and genuine. “I’m glad it's us.” 

“Me too.” He nodded. For the first time in his life, he was sure of something and it was you. You were here with him and it was all still new, but god, it was great. He had a perfect, funny, sexy, gorgeous, and smart girlfriend and he didn’t even have to travel to a parallel universe to master commitment. Patrick being Patrick wouldn’t get too mushy on you, wouldn’t tell you that he found it a little surreal to be across from you in your black velvet dress. Across from a girl who he never really thought he would have or sleep next to. This girl who is literally always there, no matter what or which home he goes back to at the end of the day. You were his best friend. But he wouldn’t say any of that shit. The difference was that he felt it, not that he turned into a sap. 

He was feeling a lot. He gladly paid for dinner. “Thank you. It was really really sweet for you to do this.” You said, slipping your hand into his. Your hand was smaller than his was and you were somehow always just a little bit colder than he was. The two of you headed out into the parking lot, where you leaned against his car, still holding his hand, even when he pulled out a cigarette. You were so gorgeous bathed in the neon purple of the restaurant sign. The bustle of busy streets nearby was white noise. He let you have the first drag, he always did. Your fingers stayed intertwined with his and you looked at him in a way he really hadn’t ever been looked at. He couldn’t believe he’d never committed to a girl when he looked at how things were with you. You were perfect, entirely, head to toe and inside and out. He couldn’t believe how much time he’d wasted meaninglessly when looking at one person just felt so right. 

You blew the smoke in his face, a running joke about the first time you’d smoked together and he did it to you. You never let it go. Eternal payback, you called it. You giggled as he raised his eyebrows at you, taking the cigarette as you passed it to him. The silence, or near-silence was comfortable. It wasn’t traced with lust, it wasn’t dripping in alcohol, it couldn’t ever mean nothing, It couldn’t ever be nothing, even while being silence. “You’re pretty,” Patrick said unprovoked, inhaling and turning his head to blow the smoke into the breeze. It wasn’t entirely unprovoked. It was you.

“Stop it, I’m blushing.” You grinned back at him. Your thumb grazed back and forth on the back of the hand that you held tight. You pretended to tuck your hair behind your ear in a mock-nervous manner. “Truth is… I have a huge crush on you.” 

“No way,” Patrick said, coughing just the slightest bit, smoke leaking out his lips. He smirked with that gorgeous, sly fox kind of grin, his dimple in full view. You pulled him into a kiss by the hand that you held, the taste of smoke on both of your lips, both of you smiling into it. Your hands only unlocked for his hand to slide around your waist and pull you close whilst your hand went to his jaw. Your back pressed to the door of his car. He swore he could never get sick of kissing you. Spontaneously, the way you liked. Sometimes to shut you up or to make you stop laughing so much. He pretended like you annoyed him, and kissed you to keep you quiet. Kissing you in his kitchen, on the couch, in front of the men who wanted you soooo badly. Intimate kissing, kissing with the intention of sex, or just a kiss to your temple or cheek in passing on the way out the door. He felt it almost overwhelmingly. Those three words were on the tip of the tongue that was currently slipping into your mouth. 

You pulled him closer, that cigarette still burning in his opposite hand that he held away from you. He was never this kind of guy, he had never felt this way in his life. The kiss slowed just a little to your occasional few short and sweet kisses and he had the space to, so those words tipped off his tongue. “I love you.” He said. He didn’t plan it, but they fell out and into the space between you. He must have seemed like the biggest, most pathetic red flag in the world. But he said what he meant. He loved you. He’d never loved anyone. He’d never said that to anyone in a romantic context. He wasn’t sure of anything about this situation but he was sure he meant it. 

Telling you put him into a limbo of vulnerability that he didn’t foresee. Your heart skips a beat. It’s so early on, there’s no way you heard him right. There’s no way he just said what he said, not tonight, not at two months. You weren’t prepared or ready or expecting it at all. Especially from him, who had sweet things to say but they were rare and usually perfectly imperfect. What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck? Panic spread into your chest, anxiety to follow. He said ‘I love you’, Patrick Zweig told you he loved you. Here. Now. And without thinking, you kiss him. It’s a stronger kiss, you’re kissing him as the emotions bubble up inside you, threatening to boil over. You’re hoping to drown out his words. Did he mean them? Did he mean them the way you would potentially want? 

You kissed him again and again, over and over, tongue and everything, and the air is filled with only that. No words, only that. The cigarette slowly burned out on the ground, and both of your hands cupped his face, his jaw, keeping him close, keeping his mouth steadily on yours. You’re filling your mouth with him, no words, nothing else but kissing him hard. The pauses in between only for breaths, nothing more. You go to kiss him again, but his head moves backward, out of your reach, pulling back from you. 

You stepped forward, chasing his lips, trying to kiss him again, but he moved backward. “What are you doing?” He asked, his voice laced with hurt. You’ve never heard him in this tone before. You tried to kiss him again, but he gently stopped your hands from having their leverage. “Hey- stop. What are you doing?” He repeated.

Your lower lip settled between your teeth. “I- I don’t know.” You replied, flustered. Your nose is pink and your eyes are apologetic. Patrick feels his chest tighten. He’s never felt that before in his life, it feels a bit like he can’t breathe. He can’t tell how your mind is racing over what to do, what to say. He can’t read you other than knowing you didn’t say it back.

“You don’t know?” His eyebrows are furrowed and his face is close to yours and your hands are resting flat on his chest. “Y/N.”

“I know.” You replied pressing a hand to your face. It’s too early. This was too early. This was so soon, you couldn’t know if you loved him yet, it was so soon. You’d be lying to say you loved him back and you just couldn’t do that to him or to yourself. His face was full of hurt, his heart was beating against his ribcage. He said it with a conviction, with a sureness that was hard for him to find. He couldn’t muster those words on the phone with his mom but he said them to you. Here. Now. “I’m sorry.” 

His face was still close to yours. His big hands removed yours from your face, seeking some sort of answer that wasn’t an apology. How could he have said that and your response is to say, ‘I know, I’m sorry’? What the fuck was that? Did you love him? Could you? 

“You didn’t say it back,” he said, keeping his voice clear and steady. He wants to say those three words again, but he won’t now. Part of him, another new, undiscovered piece of him is fucking terrified. “Y’know, that’s fine, it’s-” he pulls away from you entirely. 

You step after him again, feeling the guilt knot in your chest, “No, Patrick- I’m sorry.” 

“It’s fine, it’s fine, I want to go home, let's go home.” He says. He’s putting up that front of his. He had never felt physical pain from anything emotional in his life. Never. Not once. So the fact your lack of words felt like a winding punch to the chest was pretty fucking distressing. He wasn’t actually sure what the protocol was when a person said an unreciprocated ‘I love you’, he’d never been in this situation before. He just knew that it hurt. And this was probably why he’d never committed to anyone before. To avoid this. This pain in his chest that was so fucking stupid and pointless.

“Patrick,” you pleaded, practically chasing him as he walked around the car to the driver’s side. “Hey, stop-” He doesn’t. “Stop! Please. Patrick. Patrick.” 

His voice was just a little harsh. “Yeah?” He opened the car door, turning to you. 

You looked up at him, a little desperate to be heard over the hurt you knew he was feeling. The guilt of it was actively eating at you. “It was just so soon. I didn’t see it coming, it’s only been two months.” 

“I know.” He replied, expression seeming cold, but surprisingly soft. “I’m sorry.” 

“No, Patrick, stop. I can’t lie to you and say I’m there yet, but I want it more than anything. And I just need time.” You explained just a little frantically. “I’m not ready.” 

He sighed, looking out over the parking lot. He shook his head and looked back at you. “I’ve never said that to anyone. I’ve never loved anyone. Not like this. I didn’t think I could. Or would. But it’s you, so I’m fucked, aren’t I? Spoke too soon, I guess.” 

“No, Patrick, it was perfect. God, I hate that I can’t say it back yet. Key word is ‘yet’, because I absolutely adore you and I care about you so much, there’s nobody on this earth that I want to love more, but it’s so early on. I guess I’m scared. What if you don’t mean it?” 

“I love you.” 

“What if you stop meaning it?” 

“I love you.” 

“What if we are rushing into this?” 

“I’ve liked you since you first smiled at me, you drove me crazy, Art said I needed my head checked. You with your stupid low-cut shirt and you smiling at me and I was done. No more girls, no more numbers in my phone, just you. You and your astrology bullshit, you and your collection of sweaters, and your perving landlord. You. I’ve never felt like this ever, I’ve never been more sure of anything because nothing has ever scared me this much in my entire life. I mean it, I’ll continue to mean it if you let me, and I know I’m not rushing into anything because however long you think I’ve liked you, it’s so much fucking longer.” He stated. He sounded angry, but he really wasn’t. He had never had that many words, let alone words he fully and wholeheartedly and somehow poetically meant. This was how he knew you were different. You’d killed a bachelor. A good one. One who had been at it for years. 

You smiled like you were relieved. It was a sweet smile, like the one that you’d sported when he first ordered a drink from you. “You mean all of that?” 

“Don’t make me say it again, please,” he chuckled just a little, crooked smile coming back. “Yes, I mean it. It freaked me out, I feel like I’ve been possessed by the spirit of the guy who sings Careless Whisper, but it’s all me.” Your smile grew wider. He bat you off, shaking his head again. “Shut up.” 

“I didn’t say anything,” you smiled. “Patrick… I am going to love you. I am actively falling in love with you, it’s terrifying, but it’s thrilling and I don’t want to stop. I just need a little more time.” 

He nodded, looking down at his feet. You stepped closer, cupping his face. One of the many intimacies he’d never known until you. Soft hands on his face. “I didn’t know I had so many emotions I feel like…” 

“Don’t joke.” You said. He honestly couldn’t anyway, looking at you. His smile fell to something neutral, eyes looking over your face, your perfect features. Whether you loved him back yet or not, he was lucky to have you.

“Don’t take too long,” He said solemnly, meeting your eyes. But the expression only lasted a few seconds before his arrogant little smirk crept back up. “If you don’t say it back in time I’m going to turn into a girl.” 

You laughed, “Oh please.” 

“It’s true.” He nodded. “Very serious thing that happens.” 

“Patrick.” 

“Yeah?” 

“You remember when I started giving you free shots? Earlier that night, you were over at mine and you were eating Skittles and you ate all of the ones I don’t like out of the bag. And it kind of hit me that you were…that I liked you. A lot. It’s so much worse than yours. But it was then on. That’s ‘a while’.” 

He grinned at your callback, laughing at how stupid that was. He grimaced just a little, smile unchanging. “Skittles?” 

“Skittles.” You replied, nodding. He pushed your hair behind your ears and pulled you into another kiss. One that wasn’t trying to drown anything out. Gentle hands in a gentle, perfect, feeling-filled kiss. Patrick truly didn’t know he had so many things to feel. And it was all for you. He’d been getting used to this sort of thing. It might have been the best thing to ever happen to him. He wasn’t changed in any way that truly mattered, but when it came to you, he was completely turned off to the idea of having it any other way. You kissed him back and he felt like he finally had done something right, which was lacking for him in all areas of his life. 

“I feel myself turning-” you kissed him again. “-into a girl.”

“We’ll go bra shopping,” you said, kissing him again. 

“That would make you-” you kissed him once more. “-bisexual.” 

“Then we’re truly a match made in heaven.” You teased. He kissed you hard one more time for good measure before really getting into the car and driving home. He knew you’d come around sometime. Didn’t stop him from feeling the way he did at all. 

It was just an odd Tuesday two months later, Patrick had the laundry basket in his hands, holding the door for you as you grabbed your keys and your wallet. He was going to the laundromat, you were going to work. “You’ll come visit me later?” You asked, heading out the door. 

“Yeah, around eight.” He nodded, leaning in and kissing you goodbye. “Mmm- Bye.” 

“Bye, Patrick. I love you.” You smiled as you walked ahead to press the elevator button for him, hopping down the stairs. You were gone in a flash, leaving him where he was, grinning what was probably the widest he’d ever smiled. He shook his head, laughing quietly to himself as he got in the elevator. He’d see you at eight. 

taglist: @swetearss @lalalandofive @ladystardust-thinks @kaaaiiaaa @xoxog0ssipg1rl @reallycreativeusername @bayleequits

[sluttyenthusiast]

We all know that Patrick Zweig, is most definitely a whore, and he would most definitely freak out if he started to like you.

The both of you had just started seeing each other, it was casual, you both liked each other's company but you hadn't labeled it.

You often spent your time together entangled in his sheets or on impromptu movie or dinner dates.

And Patrick thinks he likes you, he likes what you have, he's stopped seeing other people, because you were enough to keep him engaged.

But Patrick wakes up in a cold sweat one night, heart pounding as he held his head in his hands.

The cause? He dreamt of a life where the both of you lived together, he dreamt of the comfort of having you, he dreamt of waking up to you in the kitchen as he would pepper soft kisses along you shoulder. He dreamt of a life where he was happily with you.

It scared him because he had never felt this, so he did the only thing that made sense to him.

He ghosted you.

And it pissed you off because you were just starting to like him, you thought maybe he needed space but after the first week you were seething with anger and you found your way to his apartment, banging his door down.

He answers begrudgingly, and he looks, horrified to see you, and maybe even a little turned on.

He tried to speak up but you stormed past him into the room, throwing your hands up in the air as you began to yell at him.

He sat there and took it though.

After two hours of screaming at him for being so stupid, you couldn't help but launch yourself at him, grasping his face as you kissed him hungrily.

The kiss lasted about ten minutes before he placed his hand under your shirt, trying to get a feel for you.

You were still angry though, so you pulled back, shaking your head at him with a frown.

That's how he ended up with his back pressed to your chest as you slowly and painfully jerk him off, whispering in his ear about how he's been so mean to you, denying his orgasm for about the third time this night.

[tastelikezweig]

THE HEAT OF A THOUSAND FIRES

paring(s): female!reader x unnamed boyfriend, patrick zweig x female!reader.

tags: angst, vulgar language, infidelity, everything in that category.

Friday, 6:30pm.

You strolled side by side, the crisp autumn wind teasing strands of your hair. Occasionally, your bodies gently collided, a tender reminder of the proximity. Though you felt his eyes fixed on you, you chose to ignore the sensation, concentrating instead on the comforting cadence of your steps and the rustling melody of leaves beneath your feet.

Your boyfriend had always prided himself on being a good judge of character. He believed in loyalty, honesty, and above all, trust. That's why when he started dating you, he thought he had found someone who shared those values. You had been together for almost a year. But as the months passed, He began to notice subtle changes in your behavior. You were more secretive with your phone, often excusing yourself to take calls in private. Sometimes, when you were out together, you would receive messages that made you smile suspiciously, messages you quickly dismissed as nothing important.

He confronted you gently at first, hoping for an explanation that would assuage his growing suspicions. You brushed off his concerns, reassuring him that he was the only one in your life. Yet, deep down, He couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right.

One evening, after weeks of internal struggle, He decided to confront you directly. He sat across from you in the dining hall, the cozy atmosphere suddenly tinged with tension.

"Babe, I need to talk to you about something," He began, his voice steady despite the nervous knot in his stomach.

You looked up from your coffee, eyes meeting his, with an unreadable expression. "Yeah? What’s up?"

"I’ve been noticing some things lately," he started cautiously. "Things that make me question if you've been honest with me."

Your facade cracked for a moment before you composed herself. "What are you talking about?"

"I've seen the messages," He said, his voice tightening with emotion. "The secretive calls, the sudden changes in plans. I want to believe you, but..."

Your eyes flickered with guilt, but you quickly masked it with a defensive glare. "You're overreacting, babe. You're being paranoid."

"I'm not," He insisted, his frustration bubbling to the surface. "Just tell me the truth. Who is it?”

You hesitated, her fingers nervously tapping on the table. "Babe…”

He felt the world tilt beneath him. The admission hit him like a punch to the gut, confirming his worst fears. "How long?" he managed to ask, his voice barely above a whisper.

You sighed, avoiding his gaze.

His heart sank. He stood up slowly, his eyes fixed on your face, searching for something—perhaps an explanation that could justify your betrayal. The dining hall buzzed around you, oblivious to the turmoil unfolding at your table.

"I trusted you," He finally said, his voice strained. "I trusted you more than anyone."

You threw your head back, fighting back tears, throat tight with regret.

───

Lying on your bed, your mind raced like a cyclone. How had you managed to mess up again? You despised yourself for letting it come to this. Your boyfriend—no, ex-boyfriend now—would never look at you the same way again. The mere thought brought a fresh wave of tears.

In the dimness of your dorm, You grappled with the weight of your mistakes. You knew nobody was flawless, but you felt you didn't even belong on the spectrum of decency. Guilt gnawed at your insides, twisting your thoughts into knots of remorse.

The relentless knocks on the door echoed through your room like a drumbeat of inevitability.

Knock, knock, knock.

You groaned, burying your face deeper into the pillow, trying to shut out the world and the person on the other side of that door. You knew exactly who it was, but you weren’t ready to confront him, not yet, maybe not ever. He’d ruined your relationship. Your life.

Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock.

Patrick wasn't going to give up easily, you realized, as you reluctantly dragged yourself out of bed. Limbs feeling heavy, weighted down by the consequences of your actions.

You reached the door and took a deep breath before opening it just enough to peek through. There he was, Patrick, his infamous smirk playing across his lips.

"What do you want, Patrick?" Your voice was laced with exhaustion and a hint of defiance. You didn't want to hear his reproach, yet you couldn't turn him away. “You.” he said, trying to push the door a bit more, but you kept your foot at the base.

"Are you trying to play hard to get?" His lips curled, his eyes glinting with playful arrogance. "I'm down for that. I'm into roleplay, you know this."

His gaze bore into you with an intensity that made you catch your breath. It was as if he craved your presence like a meal he hadn't eaten all day. His eyes burned with hunger.

Running your hands through your hair, you chuckled in disbelief. "That's your problem, isn't it?” His smile disappeared almost instantly. “Everything's a game to you. Everything's a fucking joke, right?"

His brows furrowed as he took in your words, unsure of how to respond.

You winced as he remained oblivious to your cues. Rolling your neck, you took a calming breath, reminding yourself to stay composed. "Patrick, my boyfriend just dumped me," you managed to say, to which he nonchalantly replied, "Big deal. Doesn’t he always?" attempting to push the door open once more, looking perplexed. You shot him a look of disbelief. "Okay? shouldn't you be happy? Now we can do whatever we want."

"You're such an asshole," you muttered under your breath, glaring at him with disappointment.

“What’s up your ass today?”

"You! You're the problem. Everywhere I go, you're always there!" You huffed, letting out a bitter chuckle as you argued with your side chick. Deep down, you knew you had no right to be angry with him; you were the one who owed loyalty to someone else. Despite your self-awareness, you were simply a girl nursing a broken heart. Patrick had shown up, using you selfishly for his own pleasure, which only fueled your anger. If he could be selfish, why couldn't you?

"You're everywhere—on the court, in the quad, even on my phone—crying and moaning about your matches that you can't seem to win because," you added air quotes mockingly, "the linesmen are out to get you." Patrick stood silently, unmoved by your outburst. Your frustration only seemed to grow. "Maybe you're just not cut out for it!" You chuckled bitterly. "You're in the dining hall, and now you're in my room, and I can't shake you off!" Pointing accusingly at his chest, you continued arguing. He remained still, his lips pressed into a frown, his eyes fixed firmly on yours.

His eyes flickered across your face, as though grappling for words. Ignoring his hesitation, you moved to slam the door shut, but he countered with a forceful hand against the wood, causing you to stagger back. "Patrick, get out," you warned firmly, but he remained unmoved, your attempt at intimidation falling flat.

"And do you know what the fuck your problem is?" His brows furrowed with genuine concern and anger, pushing you back against your wardrobe. The door slammed shut behind him, shaking the plaques and corkboard on your wall, a sticky note fluttering to the floor.

congrats babe, love you to no end x ᝰ.ᐟ

"It seems like you've got everyone else's problems figured out, but what about yours? Huh?" he taunted. Roles reversed, you remained silent as he spat out his hurtful words. "Your moron boyfriend didn't break up with you because of me," he pointed towards himself, "he did it because you're a selfish, lying, cheating whore." He leaned in, his face inches from yours, causing you to flinch. "So don't you fucking blame me. You had plenty of chances to choose who you wanted to be with, but instead, you wanted to keep fucking us both.”

Patrick had never spoken to you like this before. Not seriously, anyway. Maybe he'd called you a slut while fucking you senseless, but that was the extent of it. Now, the demeaning names he hurled at you were filled with sincerity. It made you wonder if that's all you had ever been to him from the start—someone to keep his dick wet and get a nut off on. “And that’s on you.” he finished.

Feeling like he was gaining the upper hand in the argument, you knew you had to strike back where it would hurt him the most.

"Choose who I wanted to be with?" You laughed in his face, incredulously. "Patrick, you were never even on my radar," you said, tilting your head slightly. "Your tennis is mediocre, you lack ambition, you’re failing most of your classes, and your parents barely acknowledge you because of all the shit you pull. If you don't even matter to your own parents, why would you matter to me?” your tone laced with condescension.

You felt like maybe you were going too far. The slight tingling sensation in the pit of your stomach confirms that you have.

In a fragile moment, Patrick lingered longer than usual after sex. He shared his frustrations about his parents' relentless pressure for him to abandon his dreams of a professional tennis career. You listened attentively, offering words of comfort and affirmation that his choices were valid, urging him to prioritize his own happiness over external expectations. Tenderly, you kissed his cheek, your touch gentle as you traced comforting circles on his arms. Then, unexpectedly, he kissed you back with a tenderness that spoke of vulnerability and connection. In that instant, a shift occurred, where the boundaries between care and desire blurred, hinting at the beginning of something deeper and more profound between you both. The individuals from that faint memory no longer existed in this room.

Patrick's gaze softened, the tension in his brow easing. "I don’t matter?" A distinct tone of hurt in his voice.

“Patrick, the only thing you have going for yourself is your dick.” You spoke bluntly. Your head was pounding from all the back and forth and the crying from earlier. You were tired. "Fuck you," he spat, turning sharply to leave.

“Yeah.” you nodded. With a forceful slam, the door echoed. You immediately buried your face in your hands. This night was utterly unbearable.

───

You sat restlessly through another Women’s Health Association meeting, the drone of chatter and agendas becoming increasingly unbearable with each passing Saturday. Your initial enthusiasm for community service had waned into a muted impatience. As the minutes ticked by, you stole glances at the clock, willing the meeting to end already. Finally, the room began to empty, and you found yourself outside, the burden of obligation momentarily lifted.

Walking through the grounds, you scanned the familiar faces, searching for one in particular. Among a group near the courtyard, you spotted him. He sat beside a wiry, fair-haired boy and a girl with a radiant complexion that seemed to shimmer in the sunlight. They were from the tennis team, you remembered. Drawing closer, you greeted Tashi with a small smile, "Hey, Tashi," you began, trying to engage them in conversation. Tashi responded warmly, returning the smile.

"And…?" you asked the blonde-haired boy beside Tashi. He hesitated briefly before replying, "Oh - It's Art." You nodded reflexively, though your mind was preoccupied with Patrick's coldness, casting a shadow over the conversation.

"Uh, Patrick - Can we talk?" you asked tentatively, hoping to bridge the distance that seemed to have grown between you. His reply was swift and cutting, leaving no room for negotiation.

"No."

"Okay," you nodded, your patience wearing thin. "And why not?" you pressed, tapping your nail against the hard plastic of your school ID card. Patrick finally looked up at you, his expression incredulous.

"Are you fucking insane?" he retorted sharply, his tone cutting through the air.

Your frustration simmered beneath the surface. "No, but you could drive me there if you continue to humiliate me in front of everyone," you thought, though you refrained from saying it aloud. "I need to talk to you," you attempted again, but he interrupted you, his voice laced with disdain.

"I'm not fucking you," he scoffed, tilting his head to the side. "Find someone who actually matters to do it," he added, mocking your words from last night.

There was a brief, tense silence as you stood there, squinting at Patrick with frustration. "Should we leave you two alone?" Tashi interjected tentatively, unsure if she should have spoken up. "Patrick, stop being such a fucking dick. Get up and come talk to me," you urged.

"Ooo...kay," Tashi whispered under her breath, eliciting a snicker from Art beside her.

Patrick slammed his apple onto Art’s lunch tray, causing bits of corn to scatter into the air. He stormed off to a quieter corner of the building, leaving you uncertain whether this was progress or a worsening of the situation. "What do you want?" he grumbled, perching on a random milk crate. "Talk," he waved his hand dismissively.

You struggled to find the right words, the truth evading you momentarily. "Well, I wanted to apologize," you began tentatively. Patrick rolled his eyes immediately, his expression hardened.

"-For everything I said last night," you pressed on, despite his silent resistance. His gaze remained fixed on you, skeptical and impatient, as if he wished the conversation would just end.

"I didn’t mean any of it, okay?" you continued, your voice wavering slightly with sincerity. "I was hurting, and you got caught in the crossfire. I wanted you to feel as hurt as I was, and I was being malicious. I was a bitch, and I’m sorry," you confessed earnestly.

His response was a single, noncommittal hum, leaving the weight of uncertainty lingering between you.

"Are you going to say something?" you finally asked, avoiding his gaze. Several moments passed before he began, standing up to pace the ground. "You know," he sighed, running a hand through his hair, you watched his every move, "I really fucking hate you. But what's worse is how much I hate that I actually give a fuck about what you think of me." You swallowed hard, reaching out for his hand, but he pulled away, needing to speak his mind.

"You– Because you listened when no one else did," he confessed, his voice tinged with regret. "That shit about my parents. I trusted you, and you threw it back in my face."

"I know," you whispered, overwhelmed with guilt. "I'm so sorry, Patrick. I do care about you, more than I should. I'm sorry I used you as a punching bag. I... I like you, Patrick. A lot. And I wish I could take back everything I said and start over."

He returned to his seat on the old milk crate, and you knelt in front of him, placing your hands gently on his knees. "Patrick, I want to fix this. I miss you,” you hesitated, “I want you back." you pleaded softly, meeting his eyes with sincerity.

"Don't," he murmured, closing his eyes briefly. "Do you want me?" you asked, your lips inches from his. "Tell me if you don't, and I'll leave you alone."

Your eyes bore into each other's, the intensity of gazes stretching on for what felt like an eternity, filled with unspoken words and unresolved emotions.

Instead of answering, he captured your lips in a sudden kiss, his hands gripping your jaw to deepen the embrace. His tongue danced with yours, moaning between breaths, as he finally confessed, "I do. I want you."

As you pulled away, breaking the kiss, a strand of saliva lingered briefly before snapping. His eyes followed yours as you moved back, a teasing smirk on your lips. "Still not going to fuck me?" you teased gently.

"Shut up," he retorted with a smirk of his own, pulling you into a softer, more tender kiss this time.

You experienced a brief moment of satisfaction, believing you had finally succeeded in doing something right. A pang of remorse following closely behind, realizing it had come at the expense of hurting someone else.

#just post and pray

[egcdeath]

out in the open

pairing: patrick zweig x f!reader

summary: your wedding night doesn’t go as smoothly as you expect it to. succession au - tomshiv adjacent (previous parts: part 1, part 2, part 3)

word count: 8.8k

warnings: failmarriage, fluff in the beginning, cheating, angst, jealousy, hurt/comfort, mentions of alcohol and smoking, suggestive content, insecurity, patrick is kinda the worst in this. he does get better though.

author’s note: full disclaimer things are pretty angsty and they only get angstier from here. cheating is a major plot point from this point forward. there will be a few happier moments but it’s mostly bad vibes and tension from this point on.

i say this with every fic i post in this universe but i truly could not have written this without the help of my succession anon!! weddingnightgate (WNG) is such a big moment in this au and they really helped me get my thoughts in order and helped me world build. i hope you all enjoy the upcoming pain!

When you were young, you always dreamed about your wedding. You fantasized about a huge venue somewhere halfway around the world that would easily fit all of your closest friends and family members and of celebrity guests who would give you well wishes for the marriage and smiled at you in spite of their envy at your beautiful event. You imagined a gorgeous, intricate dress with a train so long that you’d need assistance going down the aisle, a cake the size of your tallest guest, and a groom who was as handsome as he was loving, pressing the promise of True Love’s Kiss onto your lips after he read you his vows.

Maybe your enthusiasm for weddings was fueled by a few too many movies where the princess found her prince charming and lived happily ever after with him, but you still fell in love with the idea of love, and the thought that a wedding should be as beautiful as the love itself was.

You would never forget the first wedding you attended, despite being so young that you shouldn’t have really recalled it. You somehow managed to worm your way into being the flower girl at your aunt’s wedding, skipping excitedly down the aisle of the beachside venue, tossing flowers with reckless abandon. As you watched the rest of the ceremony from the safety of your mother’s hip, you couldn’t help but to imagine yourself being the one to walk down the aisle someday. 

Much like your first wedding memory, you also couldn’t forget the first time you learned about divorce. Though you were young, the memory of your best friend crying next to you during recess as she sobbed out the news that her parents were splitting forever stuck out in your mind. You’d been fed the idea that love was strong and everlasting for so long, that the very notion that there were some things that love couldn’t withstand rocked you to your core. 

From that point on, you became more grounded in your approach to love. Love was rarely a fairytale, and it was naive for you to assume that your future wedding would be one either. 

As the years went by, you grew more realistic about your expectations for the future. You found a boyfriend who you dated throughout the latter half of your undergraduate years and through your time in business school, and fully expected to settle down with him—though you knew you’d be settling in the most literal sense. While he was a stable figure in your life, he was boring, and his aspirations in life for both you and himself didn’t align at all with what you saw yourself doing. He wanted a wife, and you wanted to make a name for yourself doing the work that was meaningful to you.

When he got down on one knee in front of you, you realized that you had two options in front of you: follow your own dreams or follow his. 

Naivety be damned, you chose yourself and never looked back. 

In your pursuit of making your non-love related aspirations come true, you abandoned all hope that your pipe-dream of a fantasy wedding would ever come to fruition. It occasionally felt like your hopes were incompatible—to be a successful businesswoman meant giving up all prospects of a romantic life. It seemed like everyone you encountered was put off by your lack of work-life balance, or wanted to hunt you for sport and turn you into a trophy wife. 

You’d practically given up all hope by the time you met Patrick, fully expecting to be able to use him for a brief fling and a connection to get into his family’s company. What you weren’t expecting was to find someone whose company you genuinely enjoyed, who understood you on a level you hadn’t experienced with anyone else, and a love that occasionally left you wondering if you were a protagonist in the movies you loved watching as a girl. 

If someone told you that years after meeting Patrick, that one day you would be gazing into his eyes with tears in yours as you listened to his vows, or telling him that you do take him to be your husband, to have and to hold, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, ‘till death did you two part.

Your wedding ceremony felt straight out of your girlish dreams, with Patrick’s beautiful family castle serving as the venue, paparazzi-worthy guests, a dress that felt like a direct product of your wildest imagination, and a groom that seemed to be as close to a prince charming as reality could get. 

You were on cloud nine throughout the ceremony, basking in every single moment. You felt like you were floating by the time you got to the reception, your brain in the clouds as you and your now-husband cut your massive cake and gave toasts. 

It was all a blur in the best way possible, your elation making what you thought might be an embarrassing moment of a first dance exciting, and the subsequent socializing with guests substantially more bearable. 

What was slightly less bearable was the speed at which you were separated from your husband, the two of you occasionally catching the others eye from across the room, but otherwise being separated from surprisingly demanding guests who wanted to wish you luck on your marriage or excitedly share how amazing they found the ceremony to be. 

Occasionally, you were able to squeeze in a brief moment with your spouse, bringing him a flute of champagne and momentarily pulling him away from an exceptionally chatty shareholder, but you seemed to be frequently whisked away from each other. 

After what felt like a lifetime apart from each other, you felt the familiar, comforting warmth of Patrick’s hand on your lower back as he approached you from behind. When he announced to the extended family members standing across from you that he needed a moment alone with you, you almost leapt with joy. Nothing seemed more appealing than a private conversation with him after a long night of socializing with friends and colleagues. 

It almost felt ironic that during an event that should’ve been focused on the two of you as a pair, you were separated and kept apart by people with business pitches and opposing interests, excited to hop onto whatever opportunity your union might bring them. 

Patrick took you by surprise as he led you up the stairs and to your bedroom. It seemed a little early to begin your wedding night festivities, but if he was really that enthusiastic about it, you were certain that you could share some of his excitement. 

“Thanks for getting us out of there,” you commented as you shut the door behind you. “So much for not talking about work at the wedding. I guess it’s too much to ask for one day to celebrate you being my husband before talking about the business again.”

You walked over to the vanity, preparing to touch up your makeup. You shot a glance over at your partner, who cautiously sat himself down on your bed, fidgeting with his hands as he did so. Not paying him any mind, you began to reapply your lipstick in the mirror and looked at his reflection, catching that he seemed to be in deep thought, but not thinking too much of it. It was probably something a shareholder told him. Maybe his sister was planning yet another attempt at a hostile takeover of the business. 

“Husband. Wow, you’re my husband now. That feels so crazy to say. Husband, husband, husband,” you mused, a ball of excited energy.  “Well, husband, what did you pull me in to talk about? Is it Sherry’s dress? It’s really hideous. I can’t believe she would wear something like that to our wedding,” you continued to ramble. “Or do you want a sneak peak of what I’ve got going on under this dress?”

You were shocked to find Patrick mostly unresponsive to your rapid words. He was never one to turn down the opportunity to gossip about his social circle or flirt with you. You pulled your attention away from yourself in the mirror and turned your head back to look at your husband, only to be met with a mostly unreadable expression, apart from the hint of a sad smile on his face. 

Suddenly, things didn’t feel so fun. For some unexplained reason, you felt a small pit appear in the depths of your stomach. While you didn’t know exactly what was wrong, something obviously didn’t feel right. There was no reason for your partner to be looking as unsettled as he did on his own wedding night. 

“You’re not having second thoughts already, are you?” you stood up and began to approach him from where he was sitting on the bed, making it more apparent to you that his brows were drawn together in what could only be the beginning of a frown. 

“Of course not,” he assured you, though guilt was written all over his face. You weren’t sure how you should interpret your husband looking like a child who just broke an expensive vase on your wedding night, but whatever it was, it couldn’t be good. “But I need to tell you something.”

“What?” you laughed nervously, the small pit that appeared in your stomach growing into a slightly larger pit. As much as you wanted to dismiss it as nothing, the heavy tension hanging in the air warned you that the odds of his confession being nothing were growing slimmer and slimmer with each passing moment.  

“Uh,” he paused as if he was considering his next words very carefully—almost as if he didn’t want to say them at all. You desperately wanted him to speak, rather than keep you hanging. With your nerves exponentially growing with every passing second, you began to feel like if he didn’t say anything soon, you might throw up all over your reception dress.  

“Patrick, please spit it out. You’re kinda scaring me,” you could already feel yourself growing upset, despite the fact that he hadn’t said a single word to indicate what was going on with him. Your heart quickened in your chest as you anticipated his next words, despite not having a clue about what might come out of his mouth.  

“We always said that if something happened, we could handle it like adults,” the statement was vague and simple, yet Patrick seemed to be choking it out. His cryptic message rattled around in your brain as you desperately searched for meaning in them. Before you could even begin to ask him what he meant, you registered the dismissive, callous language. 

Though he didn’t say it often, he had confused you with those very words before—the verbiage alarmingly reminiscent of what he told you before your bachelorette party, or when you brought up the lack of an infidelity clause in his prenup. 

If anything ever happened with anyone else, we could both handle it. We’re adults and we can handle things like adults.

Though his words were curious, you dismissed them at the time, never expecting that to be an issue. Of all of your problems with Patrick—his difficulty expressing his emotions, his complicated relationship with his family, his lack of experience in love—you never expected infidelity to be one of those problems. 

You swallowed, your saliva feeling thick and poisonous as it slowly crept down your throat. “Honey, what do you mean?”

Patrick didn’t speak, looking down at the pristinely folded sheets in front of him rather than at you. “I’m sorry,” was all that he managed to get out. 

You looked at Patrick blankly, waiting for him to tell you that whatever you were assuming wasn’t true or that he was pulling some sort of cruel prank on you. Instead, all you were met with was the sound of blood urgently rushing through your ears and the faint bassline of whatever song the DJ was playing at your reception. 

“You know that love is complicated for me,” he looked in your direction, but couldn’t sustain eye contact with you. “Can we be adults about this?”

Once it became clear to you what exactly Patrick was trying to tell you, your knees gave out on you, the rest of your body overwhelmed with the unfathomable information that your brain was trying to process. Patrick cheated on you—and he was telling you just hours after you got married. 

The truth of the situation sucked the air right out of your lungs and the strength right out of your body. Your knees buckled under you, and you desperately seeked out anything you could sit on. You settled on the foot of the bed, across from where your husband nervously sat. 

“Fuck,” you dug the palms of your hands into your eyes, surely smudging the makeup on your eyelids as you attempted to collect your thoughts. “Who was it?”

“It didn’t mean anything to me,” he pathetically attempted to explain away. It all sounded like gibberish to you. For all you knew, your husband was speaking a totally different language to you. 

Despite your question and Patrick’s non-answer, you somehow felt like you knew exactly who he’d been with. The answer was all over his discomfort when he saw you talking to the woman without him by your side, and the way she sized you up and attempted to psych you out of marrying Patrick not even 24 hours ago. 

“Was it Tashi?” you asked, not even listening to his empty words and keeping your face frighteningly neutral. You spoke the words like you were playing a round of Guess Who, calm and even despite the budding feeling of dread in your stomach. 

He didn’t respond, but he didn’t need to. His deafening silence was answer enough

“Can I kick her out?” you asked with an alarmingly stable tone, still mostly unable to process this information, but knowing that it wasn’t good. 

“Yeah,” he replied quietly, head still hung and unable to make eye contact with you. 

As you took in the truly depressing sight in front of you—your husband’s hunched over posture, a shame so strong that he couldn’t even look at you, and his clipped, short answers—you couldn’t deny that you were tempted to comfort him. In any other situation, if Patrick was feeling a fraction of the negative emotion he seemed to be feeling in that moment, you would instantly be at his side, holding his hand reassuringly or holding him close in a way that told him that if no one else was there for him, you would be, but you weren’t sure you could legitimize his bad behavior with such a response. 

Instinctually, you reached out to touch him like you’d done a thousand times before, giving him a hug before a big event or spooning him after a family member said something that got under his skin, but you instantly reprimanded yourself. Despite how sad he looked, Patrick was the one who hurt you. You were the one who deserved comfort. 

You opted to pat Patrick’s back instead, a strange and impersonal action. For a moment, you felt less like his wife and more like a practically estranged family member, not sure how to greet you after meeting you for the first time three Thanksgivings ago. 

Your husband barely reacted to the stiff action, only looking at you wordlessly with glossed-over eyes. You got up from the foot of the bed and left wordlessly and neutrally, a robot whose only orders were to get out of the bedroom and shut the door behind you. 

The moment the door closed, the next goal settled into your mind—you couldn’t let Tashi spend another second in the venue, socializing with your family and drinking the wine that your parents so kindly provided to the wedding, as if she hadn’t been partaking in an affair with your husband. 

You felt half a bride and half a zombie as you left the confines of the bedroom and wandered the hallways. You were stone faced as you made your way back to the reception, trying to wrap your head and heart around devastating information that was shared with you at the most inopportune time possible. 

You made a slow march down the stairs, movement hindered by your dress, and imagined what you might say to Tashi once you saw her. You should’ve known something was off from the start. You should’ve trusted the bad feeling you had when she sized you up at the bar, smirking at you like the cat who got the cream before feeding you anecdotes about how sleazy your husband used to be for no apparent reason. You should’ve trusted that feeling when Patrick rushed over to pull you away.

You wished you paid attention when Patrick faintly smelled of feminine perfume when you surprised him by coming back from a business trip earlier than anticipated, or when you noticed a bracelet that didn’t belong to you sitting on your coffee table, one that disappeared the very next day. It was so easy to write the signs off at the time–the fragrance of your personal chef and the jewelry of one of his sisters–but it no longer felt that simple. Patrick was a lot of things, but you never expected that a cheater was one of those things.

The thought of Patrick with someone else made you nauseous, especially in your own home. You faintly wondered if they’d fucked in your bed or on the couch. If the answer was yes to either, you desperately wanted to burn the pieces of furniture. In fact, that would be the first thing you set out to do when you returned home after your honeymoon. Maybe you would even beg Patrick to move to a new place, one not haunted by the memories of him and another woman. 

That was, if your relationship even survived through the honeymoon. Let alone the night. You didn’t have a clue what your next steps would be. Would you be the fool who stays with a man who proved himself to be disloyal? Or would you be the fool who offered herself to the wrath of one of the most powerful families in the world? You would lose your husband, your job, and your livelihood in one fell swoop, surely being banished back to your family home in Minnesota, destined to be a receptionist at your father’s law firm for the rest of your life. 

The entire situation felt surreal in the worst possible way. You couldn’t believe that while you were dealing with the aftermath of this information, Tashi was waltzing around at your reception. More than that, you couldn’t believe the information itself: Patrick cheated. Your fiancé cheated. Your husband cheated on you. 

The same Patrick who became a groomzilla, laser-focused on giving you your dream wedding, cheated. The same man who confessed that he didn’t know what love felt like before he met you cheated on you. Your husband, who went out of his way to do anything to make you happy, even at the expense of his very powerful family, hadn’t been loyal to you. 

None of it made sense. Maybe you would walk back into the room and your guests would jump out from behind tables and reveal that this was all a cruel joke—a little hazing as you officially became a Zweig—their laughter filling up the room at the thought that you would ever believe something as ridiculous as Patrick cheating on you. 

You bit back bile as you walked into the room, the party continuing on the same way it had before you left and before you reentered—no prank to be found. The cacophony of loud music and the chatter of your guests filling your ears once more—what felt fun and exciting just moments before, now being far too overstimulating for someone trying to process information that could fundamentally alter the course of their relationship. You did your best to block out all of the extra noise and focus on your goal at hand. 

Find Tashi. Send her home.

You weren’t sure what you would actually do when you saw her. Would you yell at her? Slap her for being a homewrecker? Cry at the sight of her? Laugh at the absurdity of your husband telling you that he’d been having an affair with her on your wedding night?

Peripherally, you heard someone call your name excitedly, only slightly pulling you out of your trance. Still, you couldn’t find it in you to acknowledge whatever excited friend or family member as your eyes set on your target. Tashi Duncan, Patrick’s coworker and ex-girlfriend.

Where you admired her beauty and confidence just a day before, you found you now resented every positive aspect about her. As she stood by a table and talked to one of Patrick’s sisters, surely bored out of her mind by the delusional ramblings about his sister someday being the president, she nodded and smiled diplomatically. 

As you really began to think about it, you realized that she was the perfect candidate to be Patrick’s wife. She came from a background similar to his, his sisters liked her far more than they liked you—though that didn’t mean much—and physically, she seemed to be exactly your husband’s type. 

Part of you wondered if she was feeling as miserable as you were; if she’d spent the day imagining your wedding to be her own, if her own jealousy was blinding her the way that yours currently was blinding you, or if she’d begged Patrick not to marry you during their work meeting the previous night. The other part of you wondered if she thought of you as pathetic as you currently felt—a stupid woman so blinded by her own love that she overlooked every beaming, bright red flag.

Your pace quickened as you walked towards Tashi, heels clicking annoyingly as they marked your pace. As you made your way to the table, you found yourself growing more anxious, the first real feeling you’d felt since Patrick shared with you the truth about his infidelity.

“Hey,” you greeted Tashi and Patrick’s sister, voice surprisingly even for how agitated you were. “Mind if I chat with Tashi?” 

“Go ahead,” Cornelia shrugged. “Let’s stay in touch?” she asked Tashi, who politely agreed and watched the other woman walk off. 

Tashi opened her mouth to speak to you, presumably to comment on something asinine about the wedding, or to make an observation about your wedding that you’d already heard a thousand times that night. If you weren’t so upset, you would make a bet with yourself on whether she’d tell you how beautiful the wedding was, or how beautiful you and your husband looked at the altar.

“Your housing for the night fell through,” you explained in a very level tone. It wasn’t the best excuse, but it was what came out of your mouth.

“Oh?” she asked, sounding more than a little skeptical, before lifting her drink to her lips. “Do you know where else I might be able to find lodging at this hour?”

“No,” you replied quickly and with ease. “Actually, it’d probably be best if you just went home now.”

“Home like…?” she trailed off and eyed you curiously. 

“Like back to New York. I’m sure you can find a flight.”

She laughed in slight disbelief. “You realize this is a work function for me, right? I have work to do.”

“I’m sure you can do that work back home,” you dismissed, not backing down. By now, it was clear that Tashi was putting together the pieces of what you knew. In fact, you could pinpoint the exact moment when it occurred to her why the two of you were having this conversation in the first place.

Maybe it was the lack of your now-husband beside you, or the barely concealed emotion on your face. Regardless of what was your biggest tell on the situation, you continued to stare her down, resenting the way her lips shifted into a small smile, as if she still had the upper hand and knew something that you didn’t. It was almost as if she found the whole ordeal to be a little amusing, which only bothered you more. 

“No need to make a scene at your wedding. I’ll be on my way.” She lifted her glass up once again to finish the drink off, but you stopped her. 

You returned intense eye contact with her as you took the stemware right out of her hands and put it to your own lips, finishing the drink in a few large gulps. Though your action was impulsive, it felt like somewhat of a necessity. You desperately needed the liquid distraction from your less-than-ideal situation, and you didn’t want to give her an excuse to linger at your party a single moment longer than she needed to. 

She continued to stare at you, her expression somewhere in the middle of being impressed and weirded out. “Alright then. Well, congratulations on the wedding.”

“Fuck off,” you spat out, turning on your heel and walking away without bothering to see if she stayed or left. 

You made your rounds around the reception, smiling and talking to your guests with a fake smile plastered on your face. The shock of Patrick’s initial confession wore off shortly after you told Tashi off, but you still couldn’t help but feel completely numb to the situation. How else were you supposed to react when you found out the love of your life was sleeping with someone else? 

You continued to man the reception on your own, occasionally scanning the room but not catching a glimpse of your husband. You wondered if he was still in your bedroom, head in his hands as he wondered if he just opened a Pandora’s box on your relationship, or if Tashi went to go find him to discuss how poorly you reacted to the information. For all you knew, the two of them could be laughing at you or having sex in your wedding bed at the same time that you attempted to pretend that everything was perfectly fine. You grew faint at the mere thought. 

Eventually, you felt a familiar hand on the small of your back, something that typically was a welcome, comforting gesture. Instead, you wanted to flinch away from his hand like it was hot. You couldn’t believe that Patrick had the nerve to touch you like everything was fine after dropping such devastating information on you. Then again, at least he wasn’t hooking up with Tashi one last time. 

Still, even under the spell of a sadness that hadn’t quite settled in yet, you leaned into his touch instinctively. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t feel as comfortable as it did a few hours ago. 

“Such a beautiful ceremony,” a family friend of Patrick’s gushed to you. “You two have something really special.”

You felt Patrick’s eyes sear into you, desperately pleading for you to look back into them and show him that everything was going to be okay. That what you had was special enough that you’d be able to move past this. Like adults, as he said to you earlier.

You weren’t so sure that you could. 

The rest of the night moved painfully slowly. Where the two of you socialized separately before his private conversation with you, he seemed to be attached to your hip now, bringing you apology offers of champagne flutes and hor d'oeuvres.

Though he pleaded with you to handle your situation like adults, you wanted to act more like a petulant child. If you had it your way, you would reject his offerings of food by tossing them onto the floor, or throw a glass of sticky alcohol in his face as if you were a Real Housewife. 

If you had it your way, Patrick wouldn’t have cheated on you in the first place, and you’d be celebrating your wedding without the baggage of uncertainty for the future of your relationship. 

As you walked through the reception, you weren’t particularly angry or sad, you just felt numb. There was a strange concession in knowing that what happened in the past already happened, and that there was no way for you to change your husband’s behavior. For a moment, you wondered if the numbness was a symptom of the shock that was Patrick’s confession, or you would feel the dull thud of nothingness for the rest of your life. 

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding as you watched the last of your guests filtered out of the venue, relieved to finally drop the façade of being a happy newlywed and to embrace the true feeling of shock that had been biting at you all night.  

Somehow managing to break away from your suddenly very clingy spouse, you wasted no time gathering an unopened bottle of wine for yourself, along with a cigarette and a lighter, which you unceremoniously exchanged with a caterer for a Venmo payment. You then headed outside to a balcony that overlooked a beautiful sprawling garden. 

You looked out on the neatly trimmed hedges and the bench where you sat with Patrick not even twenty-four hours ago and distantly thought about how perfectly the night should’ve gone. You got married at a beautiful venue, had every detail down to the positioning of napkins meticulously planned, and most importantly, were marrying someone you genuinely loved and couldn’t see yourself living without. 

It was all rather devastating now, to see how just a few words managed to ruin what was supposed to be the happiest day of your life. 

You took a swig from the bottle, lamenting the fact that his affair partner had been drinking this very wine earlier that night. At the thought of Tashi, you took yet another hefty swig. 

Just as you reached for the lighter to light the cigarette you so desperately needed, Patrick burst through the doors of the balcony, slightly out of breath and sweat beading on his forehead. In between his heavy breaths, you swore you caught a sigh of relief. 

You couldn’t say that you were pleased to see him—after all, you’d escaped to the balcony to get a little time alone and to think through the night—but as you took in his dramatic entrance and disheveled appearance, it became abundantly clear to you that he’d been urgently looking for you. 

“Want some?” you asked, gesturing to the bottle. Your question was more than just an offer for a drink, but a peace treaty, offering Patrick to stay outside with you despite your more complicated feelings towards him. 

“Sure,” he agreed, still slightly out of breath. He collected himself as you passed him the bottle, locking eyes with you as he took a swig from the expensive drink. It felt like time moved a little slower as you watched his lips wrap around the opening of the bottle and the way his Adam's apple bobbed while the drink went down. 

You suddenly realized that complicated didn’t even begin to cover how you felt towards Patrick. You loved him more than anything, and you were sure that you needed him in your life—but beneath the thick layers of numbness was a reservoir of hurt, far deeper than you ever imagined you could harbor for the man. 

He passed the bottle back to you, his hands gently brushing over yours. Momentarily, you felt scandalized by the action, unsure if you should feel your cheeks heating up from the small touch or if you should flinch away from it. By the time the brief moment was over, you hadn’t done either, electing to set your gaze back over the rail instead of at your partner. 

Patrick stood silently beside you, not requesting anything more to drink or even attempting to make small talk. It seemed that he was just as aware as you were that he’d changed your entire dynamic with just a few words. You wondered if he realized just how much he’d fucked both of you by fucking someone else. 

You shivered in the cold night, your dress not providing you much coverage in the elements. If your wedding night had gone any differently, Patrick would’ve offered you his suit jacket, draping the item over your shoulders and kissing you sweetly. Then again, if the night had gone differently, you likely wouldn’t be shivering on the balcony in the first place. 

You squatted to set down the bottle on the ground and rediscovered the cigarette and lighter. Though you weren’t usually one to smoke, you desperately needed it after the shitshow that was your wedding night.  

Though you put the stick to your lips, you struggled to light the cigarette, the frigid breeze making everything slightly more difficult. It didn’t help that you hadn’t smoked since you were a teenager, giggling with your friends as you clumsily attempted and failed to light up the stick, the match pinched between your fingertips quickly burning down. The contrast between the silly memory and your far less silly reality felt jarring, to say the least.  

“Here, let me,” Patrick said softly, taking the lighter from you and cupping his hand around the tip of the cigarette. You tried not to look at him too closely as you listened to the soft clicking sound of the lighter. Though he should’ve focused on the action so he didn’t burn his finger tips or the palm of his hand blocking the wind, he didn’t seem to be able to look at anything but you. The light of the flame briefly illuminated both of your faces, momentarily giving you a better look at his sad eyes. 

You inhaled as the flame touched the tip, and turned your head to exhale the smoke, not wanting to blow it in the face of your partner or have to spend another second under the scrutiny of his intense eye contact.

Even as you looked away and into the garden below, you could feel Patrick’s eyes burning into you. You were sure that if you looked back over at him, you would see him looking particularly downtrodden, lips parted for words that were on the tip of his tongue that he couldn’t quite say yet, and eyebrows drawn together in a way that only seemed to highlight the sadness in his eyes. 

Unspoken questions lingered in the air like the smoke from the cigarette dangling from your lips. Though you didn’t care for the smell, you were pretty sure you preferred the smoke to the questions. 

Finally, a quiet question was spoken into the air,  “Can I?” Patrick asked, his eyes flitting from your eyes to your lips. 

“Sure,” you replied noncommittally as you pulled the cigarette away from you and passed it to your husband. Electing to watch him instead of the unchanging garden, you observed as Patrick’s lips closed over the space where yours had just been, covering the hint of a lipstick stain that you’d left on it. After a long drag, he passed the cigarette back to you, his hand brushing softly over yours once more as you did so. 

This pattern continued, a heavy silence falling between the two of you as you shared the cigarette, your hands caressing the other’s softly.

“Here,” you murmured as you approached the filter. Instead of passing it back to Patrick, you brought it up to his lips, watching him intently as he breathed in the smoke. 

For a moment, all you could see was his face, illuminated by the burning end of the cigarette, pupils blown with something you couldn’t quite place. You weren’t sure if you wanted to ravish him right there on the balcony or push him off of it.

He blew the smoke right back into your face, electing to still share the last of the cigarette with you. You wondered if that meant anything. It probably didn’t. 

The two of you stood looking at each other, staring wordlessly as you waited for the other person to move a muscle or say something—anything. For a moment, you considered telling Patrick that you wanted an annulment. But then again, that wasn’t exactly the truth. 

“I’m going to bed,” you broke the silence with your announcement. “I need to change out of this dress.”

You wished it were that simple. You desperately wanted to scrub the day off of you and to pinch yourself until you woke up. Surely, this couldn’t be your actual wedding night. Maybe you could wake up in the morning and find that this was all a bad dream—the manifestation of anxiety before your big day.

But, as Patrick trailed behind you in the hallway as if you would disappear if you left his sight, you were pretty sure that this was the reality. You wouldn’t wake up and find that your husband had been loyal to you. 

Your return to the room was a silent one. The moment you stepped foot through the door, it felt like you were back in that horrible moment; like Patrick was moments from revealing to you that Tashi was the tip of the iceberg. 

Bile rose in your throat once more. You made a beeline to the bathroom, hoping that the change of scenery might halt your thoughts altogether. 

You stepped out of the bathroom with an entirely different mindset than what you had as you entered. Sure, your wedding night wasn’t at all what you expected it to be, but it didn’t mean that you couldn’t put it back on the right track. In the bathroom, you slipped on a silky nightie, what you hoped would be a reminder to both of you that this wasn’t any old regular night, but your wedding night. Though, with the day you just had, you weren’t so sure that either of you would be up for a particularly romantic night. You guessed it couldn’t hurt. 

You left the bathroom as a woman on a mission, your eyes set on Patrick as you crossed the bedroom floor to get to him. Though he’d been laying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling like it had the secrets to the universe written on it, the sound of your entrance drew his attention over to you. You gently bit your lower lip and hoped that your face said ‘sexy’ rather than ‘so nervous you might be sick.’

His eyes stayed locked on you as you crawled into bed, and you hoped once more that the action of you moving towards him on your hands and knees didn’t appear as desperate as you felt on the inside. 

It felt like your evening consisted of one desperate plea after another: Please don’t do this to me. Please just pretend that everything’s fine. Please don’t leave me. 

He followed your lead as you trailed your hand up his arm and looked at him as seductively as you could manage before pushing him down onto the bed and straddling his lap. Distantly, you wondered how Tashi imitated things with him—if she did anything that Patrick liked more about her than you. You did your best to push that thought away, but failed miserably. 

Mechanically, you ran your hands through his hair and kissed him passionately. You tried to ignore the lump in your throat and reminded yourself that it was just Patrick. Things weren’t all that different, except for the fact that he was your husband now—and that he cheated on you.

You tried once more to push that thought out of your mind as you moved your hips against his lap, but your attempts were in vain. It certainly didn’t help that as you kissed him, you tasted the cigarette you shared earlier in his breath—an unwelcome reminder of the awkward tension that lingered between the two of you after he shared the truth about his infidelity. And surely, it was just your mind, but his lips almost tasted like the chapstick of another woman. 

Suddenly, all you could think about was Tashi with your husband. Him and Tashi in your bedroom, or in a hotel room, or on your couch. Did she do anything special that drove him crazy? What did she have that you didn’t? 

Your body said one thing, but your brain said something completely different. You did your best to power through the thoughts of your husband being with another woman, but you were beginning to realize that when it came to cheating, you weren’t all that tough. You bit down on Patrick’s lip in what you hoped would be a light nibble, but the taste of iron quickly filled your mouth. 

You slowed down your movements as your thoughts sped up before you gave up entirely. You supposed it was a classic case of mind over matter, and your mind was not nearly as strong as any of your physical urges. 

You shifted off of Patrick far later than you should’ve, feeling like a complete and utter failure. You couldn’t even do the one thing you should’ve been able to do during your wedding night. No wonder he found solace in someone else’s body. 

“I’m sorry,” you said weakly, your voice barely above a whisper. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry.”

It took you rolling off of Patrick to realize that his face was damp, eyes glossy with a thin layer of tears threatening to fall. The pit in your stomach that had been steadily growing since Patrick pulled you aside to tell you something finally came to a head when you realized that your husband was crying.

“Why are you sorry?” he asked, his voice cracking on the last syllable of his question. 

A fresh tear rolled down his cheek, which was then followed by a few other droplets. He turned his head away from you and wiped them away quickly so you wouldn’t notice them, but the damage was already done. 

You’d never seen Patrick cry before—not when you watched sad movies that left you bawling, not when the two of you watched advertisements for puppies in shelters, not even when he thought his dad might be dying. To see him shed tears over you felt particularly unsettling. 

“Patrick?” you said his name softly, like he was delicate and going to break. 

“I should be the one who’s sorry,” he looked towards you once more, eyes now rimmed with red. “I ruined everything already. I'm so sorry.”

This was a complete wild card on top of a stack of wild cards. If someone told you that your wedding night would end with your husband telling you he cheated on you, a pathetic failed attempt at sex, then watching your partner cry for the first time in front of you, you would’ve laughed in their face. 

His crying continued, becoming slightly more intense as sorrow racked through his body. You’d never been in a situation like this before, so you were completely unsure of what to do. 

With all prior restraint to show him physical affection gone, you awkwardly slotted your arms around your husband. He automatically leaned into you, burying his face in your shoulder as he continued to shed quiet tears. Your shoulder quickly grew damp as you threaded your fingers through his curls, the repetitive petting being just as soothing for you as it was for him. 

Despite it all, you still felt a general sense of nothing at all. You were beginning to grow concerned, knowing that deep down there were certainly emotions that weren’t ready to approach the surface. You worried about what it might look like once those feelings finally came out, but that was the least of your worries when it came to your weeping husband. 

Patrick continued to cry quietly, the only sound in the room being his soft, occasional sniffles. You couldn’t even place how you felt or how long you sat there stone faced as you cradled your husband. 

Eventually, the tears on your shoulder dried and the intervals between sniffles grew further and further. Soon, the soft sounds of weeping turned into the long and deep breaths of rest. Between you playing with his hair and holding him, he must’ve fallen asleep. You couldn’t really blame him—given your eventful day, your all-nighter the previous day, and the energy it took for him to cry. 

You gently laid Patrick back down on his side of the bed, pulling a blanket over his chest and pushing back the hair on his forehead to press a kiss to him. He stirred slightly against the forehead kiss, but didn’t seem to wake up all the way. Even when your feelings were complicated towards the man, you couldn’t help being affectionate towards him. In some ways, you felt like you needed that affection just as much as he did. 

You let out a long sigh as the reality of everything truly began to set in, and you no longer had to be strong for your weeping partner. You couldn’t wrap your head around the sight of Patrick crying for the first time, or the fact that he cheated on you. You flicked off the bedside lamp, the only source of light in your otherwise darkened bedroom. 

You rolled over in bed and laid on your back, setting your hands on your stomach and staring up at the ceiling. You traced your eyes over the pattern of the ceiling, though it was dark and not all that clear. You wondered if you looked at it long enough, if you’d be able to make some sense out of it. You glanced over at Patrick and wondered the same thing. 

You just couldn’t understand why he’d cheat on you. You’d always been under the impression that he was just as happy in your relationship as you were. Despite his promiscuous past, he never seemed like the type of person to not be loyal to you.

You noticed a teardrop trail down his cheek in his sleep, and you gently thumbed it away. The small movement turned into you tracing a line down his nose and over his lips, then over his eyebrows and back down through the few freckles that dotted his face. Maybe if you watched him long enough, if you learned every detail of his face, someone would reveal to you why he’d done something so illogical and cruel. 

You worried about how the two of you could move forward from something like this. Though Patrick always approached the topic of infidelity with a dismissive attitude, cheating had always been a deal breaker for you in your past relationships. It shattered your trust in a way that was so foundational, you couldn’t fathom a world where your relationship with Patrick stayed exactly the same after this. 

Part of you knew already that moving forward, you’d constantly wonder if he was genuinely working late or if he was having an affair, or if his eye was wandering at events despite you standing by his side. And that was just trust when it came to relationships—obviously his lie was far deeper than just that. Now, you knew that Patrick had the capacity to hold a secret that massive from you, then share it at the worst possible time. 

In fact, his timing felt so terrible that you momentarily wondered if it was some sort of power play. Was Patrick trying to remind you that you weren’t equals in this partnership? Was he trying to manipulate you by only sharing this information to you after you were married to him and couldn’t easily call everything off? 

Your stomach turned at the possibility that Patrick wasn’t really who he said he was, and that you’d been baited and switched. You recalled the first time you met Patrick’s family, how he switched on a dime and became far more calculated and cruel to them than you’d ever seen him be with you. Was that the realest version of your husband, and the person he was with you just a façade? Was this some sort of long game he was playing with his family to piss a few people off? Did Patrick even love you?  

For the first time in your relationship, you felt like you didn’t know who you were sleeping next to. Surely, this couldn’t be the same Patrick who you set out to have a quick hook up with, and ended up talking to him for hours. It couldn’t be the same Patrick who held you tight at night and gave you kisses every morning in your kitchen. The same Patrick from your vows a few hours ago, whose hands shook as he read from notecards and declared his love for you.

You frowned as you looked over Patrick once more. You resented how he was able to sleep so peacefully after inflicting such hurt on you. Did he even understand how destroyed you were? You couldn’t see yourself sleeping through the night in the foreseeable future, your head too filled with questions about your relationship and questions about his relationship with her. Would they continue the affair? Would they still work together after this, leaving you to wonder for the rest of your life if they were still going behind your back?

You desperately wished the thoughts would stop, but they kept coming, punctuated by the sounds of Patrick’s soft snores behind you. 

By the time the sun began to peek through the blinds, your hand was on Patrick’s face once again. You wondered how it was possible for him to hurt someone he loved as much as he loved you, if his definition of love was so skewed by a lifetime of abuse labeled as love from his parents, and siblings who used cruelty as a form of affection. 

Maybe you should’ve listened to the warnings everyone gave you, from your parents who warned that your husband and his family may be more than you bargained for, from his sisters who never seemed to be able to fully wrap their head around Patrick committing to someone, let alone you. Maybe you should’ve even listened to Tashi’s coded warning about his inability to commit and stay loyal. It seemed like everyone saw the fate of your relationship coming except you. 

With the early morning light illuminating the room, things felt a little clearer for you. Beneath the numbness that protected you the previous night was a more painful undercurrent of hurt that was already beginning to eat away at you. 

For the past several years of your life, you hadn’t had to deal with any painful feelings on your own. Patrick was always there beside you to hold you tight and reassure you that everything would be okay. As you laid next to him, you realized that despite all the pain he’d inflicted on you, all you really wanted was to be held by him. 

Knowing that he was sleeping peacefully beside you, you opted to hold him, draping your body over his and pulling yourself as close as you could manage to him. You leaned your ear against his back, taking in the warmth he gave you and listening to his heart beat. As the two of your breaths and heartbeats began to match the other’s pace, you lamented that even now, your hearts beat as one. 

For the first time that evening, your eye prickled with the threat of tears. 

You lost track of how long you held your husband, but it was long enough to notice the pattern of his breath changing. You’d woken up beside him enough times to recognize that he was clearly awake, yet he made no other indication to you that he was awake. He wanted you to hold him. You wondered if he thought this might be the last time you ever do that for him. You wondered if it was the last time you’d ever do that for him. 

The two of you pretended to be asleep despite the fact that you were both obviously awake, but no one commented on anything. After your arms began to grow numb, you turned your back to Patrick, hoping that he would return the favor and give you what you really wanted. You were pleased to find that he just as eagerly wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight and breathing quietly in your ear. 

The two of you sat in complete silence, pretending you didn’t know what the other person was doing. Somehow, it felt like that was about to become a recurring theme in your relationship.

[amymbona]

I often think about being rivals with Patrick Zweig - enemies, if you will - the two of you constantly making each other's lives hell on Earth, but in the end, Patrick ends up being the person glued the closest to you.

Imagine this, you're both at Stanford, at the best way to become successful tennis players. Everything seems to be going wonderfully, except one little detail - your condition. Nobody really knows about it, only the professors and coaches were informed, but you've sworn it's nothing serious. It's been a long time since you fainted or had any kind of seizure, so you convince yourself nothing can go wrong.

However, you have underestimated yourself. The Stanford experience is so thrilling and yet devastating at the same time, not allowing you olro have a full moment of proper rest. Most of your time is spent on the court or at the gym, pushing yourself to your physical limits - because that's what tennis is about - constantly overstepping your set boundaries to move forward every day. To be the best.

But not every day is all sunshine and rainbows, especially since there is a certain guy who's only life goal seems to be to piss you off. Snarky remarks as he passes by, insulting your style of playing, calling you names... You're not even sure why he's doing this, but you start doing it back. Each time you pass each other in the hallways or meet at the court, people almost have to hold you two back before one of you causes some serious injury.

You despite Patrick Zweig with every inch of your body, absolutely fucking hate him, and you make sure to look the best when you know he's looking. You're pretending to be at the Wimbledon, the whole world watching you, but instead, it's just Patrick. He notices, of course, he notices every time and only smirks, feeling so proud. You're doing all od that just for him? That's adorable.

And then he sees it, the falter of your breath, the sudden hesitation when you stop mid-serve, placing a palm on your chest. You probably think no one is looking, that no one is watching and seeing your little moment of weakness - but it's okay, you'll catch your breath soon. Or you think so.

But after that moment, Patrick begins noticing it every time he sees you, everywhere you are, his eyes are glued to you, only waiting to see the hitch of your breath, the sudden wide pop of your eyes - and he's not quite sure whether he's spying on you to have a laugh or potentionally save you. He keeps being an asshole, perhaps even a bigger one - and perhaps it's the sadistic part of himself that kinda wants to see you in distress - but he's also using the close proximity as an opportunity to check on you.

Until one day, when he is completely fed up with your aloof attitude, after seeing you stagger on your feet while playing, and corners you in the locker room, "You think you're some kind of superhero? Can't you just take care of yourself?"

At first, you're totally confused. Where did this come from?

"I'm not fucking blind. Don't think I haven't seen you almost black out back there."

And then you have to literally beg him not to tell anybody. You almost cry, realising what kind of power Patrick suddenly has over you - he could make you the most pathetic girl at Stanford, completely ruin your career, because nobody would willingly support a sick girl - and it should be making him feel good, it fucking should! But Patrick can't find it within himself. He can't bring himself to exploit the sudden knowledge, to blackmail you and finally assert his dominance. Instead, he calls you stupid ten more times before storming away.

Ever since that encounter, Patrick seems to be everywhere - as if he wasn't before - but now, he's not even attempting to hide it. Just trailing after you like a lost puppy that's not really lost. Somehow, he's there for every practice or yours, comfortably watching from the bleachers and raising a brow every time you finally look at him. A silent question. You good?

Sometimes, Patrick jogs after you, hooks an arm through your casually - somehow making it look like he's ready to strangle you - and whispers in your ear, "Take more breaks next time. You look terrible," and then he pulls onto the strap of your tank top to let it snap against your skin, and runs away while calling you an idiot again.

It pisses you off, for so many reasons, but the main one is your biggest rival seeing through your defenses, aware of your vulnerable state. You cry a bit as well but convince yourself that what you need to focus on is tennis, simply. You still haven't face in big issues so far, so what could go wrong?

Thank God Patrick chooses to follow you once again, to lurk at the side of the court when you're playing one of your bigger matches. On the other side of the net is some other girl you only know the name of, but she's really good. That's bad. You need to be better. And you try so hard to be better, to be the best - and you completely lock in, that at one moment, you begin seeing stars. Nobody seems to notice the growing struggles, nobody but Patrick. But before he could call out, before he could do anything, you're on the ground - unconscious.

Patrick is the first one by your side, slapping your cheeks so you wake up, and when you do, you look so cute and distressed. Your face scrunches in a mix of frustration, pain and surprise - it's Patrick? He's the one by your side, holding your head in his lap and stroking your hair almost delicately. And then he is the one helping you walk to the infirmary, an arm around your waist, letting you lean against himself.

It's such a comical situation, Patrick Zweig being the person taking care about you, holding a damp cloth on your forehead to calm you down a bit, commanding you not to get the fuck up and let the blood circulate through your whole body. He's not going to tell anyone about this, but he really enjoys taking care about you - his vulnerable girl - like this.

[megumimania]

4:44 — patrick zweig

synopsis: after publicly embarrassing you and your marriage being at deaths door, patrick shows up offering much more than you bargained for.

warnings: angst, smut (17+), patrick is messy as fuck (figuratively and literally) ,cheating, brief mentions of art and tashi.

a/n: finally wrote something for patrick and of course it got a bit nasty and angsty lmao.

he never meant for you to find out like this.

finding out along with the rest of the world that he was cheating on you was something you didn’t expect to wake up to.

patrick knew of the humiliation and embarrassment that you were going to be subjected to as a result of the leaked paparazzi pics that showed him getting hot and heavy with tashi duncan, an old flame that never really died down. even though he reassured you otherwise.

the media never really left you alone at that point. your simple wish of privacy being disrespected at every turn you take. running simple errands were a thing of a past as you couldn’t escape the barrage of questions being asked as you put your shopping cart away.

‘mrs zweig, is it true that you’re divorcing your husband?’

“mrs zweig, how do you feel about the cheating allegations? do you forgive your husband?”

“mrs zweig, reports say that you engaged in a months long affair with art donaldson, is that true?”

the questions were obviously asked to get a rise out of you and despised it. using your marital issues to sell a quick buck was so low blow. a part of you wished they would fuck off somewhere else,hoping that there would be some new drama that they would fixate on and leave you alone.

thankfully they did, a random celebrity’s pregnancy announcement being enough to distract the public from the turmoil that was your life. you were so relived, finally being able to fade back into obscurity. however, whilst everyone managed to move on like the internet does, patrick was terribly relentless.

patrick kept trying to make up for it, buying you luxury bags and designer goods at your request as if that would heal the heartbreak and embarrassment that you were experiencing. it was a pathetic display of forgiveness and it hurt how litle effort he put in trying to salvage this marriage.

couples therapy was a miss, the both of you being ego driven and stubborn meant that it was like pulling teeth to get any of you to try and take some accountability for the roles each of you played in this marriage.

you weren't delusional, you knew that you weren't perfect and that your marriage with patrick shared the same fate. however in comparison to his infidelity, your supposed issues with control and jealousy seemed minor in the grand scheme of things.

with all avenues exhausted, you decided to push for a divorce much to patrick's dismay. his refusal to sign the papers pissed you off.

why did he have to make everything so difficult?

you thought that some distance would do the trick. so for the past month you've been staying at a fancy hotel in the midst of packing up your whole life to move back to the west coast where your life has always been.

as you were preparing to wind down for the evening, you heard a knock on the door. you quickly shrugged on your robe and your slippers and opened the door to find him of all people standing there.

his eyes looking somewhat ashamed and embarrassed and for the first time the mighty indomitable patrick zweig, looks as small as ever.

“why are you here?” you ask him the million dollar question, the one he cannot answer.

you dont even know why you step aside to let him in. maybe it's the newfound loneliness that makes it harder to maintain that degree of impassiveness towards him. with patrick standing before you in your hotel room you're forced to acknowledge his presence.

he hands you a bottle of wine with an intention to share it between you both and you oblige. he pulls out two glasses for you both as he pours the wine into your glass first and then into his. you watch how his freckled hand smoothly pours the wine into the glass without any spillage.

you dont even know why you listen to him talk, as if you'd get something reasonable from him but you know he's full of bullshit. when you ask why? with a lump forming in your throat. he stands there aimless, the words falling dry on his tongue. looking at you as if the answers written on your forehead.

yet it isn't enough to fully squash your want for him. so when he does lean in to kiss you, you let him. the kiss is short but weighted, his apology being interwoven into every kiss. the several glasses of wine in your systems has you both feeling some type of way.

“should we even be doing this?” his voice seems worlds away when it’s buried in the crook of your neck. his hands roam around your waist in a tentative manner, unsure whether he's doing the right thing but when you place his hands firmly on your waist, he feels his heart race.

“i won’t say anything if you don’t.” the go ahead you’ve given him turns him into a madman, with clothes being haphazardly strewn across the hotel room. he can't get enough of you. his hands wanting to leave a mark on every single part of your body making you groan in pleasure.

patrick fucks like a man starved.

your legs rest on his shoulders as he buries his face into your wet cunt, lapping up the juices with his tongue. the lewd slurping and sucking sounds as well as the way his nose bumps against your clit has you grinding into his face. god he missed this, missed you.

“patrick im so close…” you mewl as you grip onto his messy curls. he ignores your warning continuing to devour your pussy without a care in the world. your vision swims and your toes curl as you’re on the brink of coming undone. patrick knows this and like the asshole he is he will not stop until you're a whining mess.

he lets out a low groan becoming drunk on your pussy, his eyes half lidded and filled with lust. “missed your pretty pussy, fake ones didn’t hit the same.” he murmured. eating you out was his favourite past time if he could say so himself. patrick ignores your pleas, making direct eye contact with you as he spits onto your cunt smearing it all across your puffy folds.

“fuck... patrick!” you cry out as your vision goes white and your body goes limp. he comes up a few seconds later, his lips coated in your slick as he pulls you into a sloppy kiss where you can faintly taste yourself on his tongue. his teeth lightly grazing your lower lip makes you pause for a second when you realise the bastard was fucking smiling.

“what's so funny?" you cock a brow at him and he laughs again even harder this time, before dismissing your concern with a wave of his hand. "can’t a man enjoy his last fuck with his soon to be ex-wife?” he grins like the arrogant fuck he is, the vitriol that threatens to leave your mouth is quickly silenced with a gasp as patrick swiftly enters you.

you both still for a moment, as you try to accommodate each other. it’s been a long time since you’ve slept with someone let alone your husband. you hopelessly grip onto his bicep, your manicured nails leaving red crescent shaped marks on his skin.

finally patrick starts to move, his strokes slow and languid as if he’s trying to savour every moment of this moment with you. he drinks up all the moans and expletives that carelessly leaves your lips as he picks up the pace, slamming into you with a desperate fervour.

the way patrick’s dick kept hitting your g spot was enough for you to start seeing stars, the obscene squelching sounds from your pussy was enough to drive him insane. “baby, please m’gonna—” you whined, feeling your body tense up as you desperately clawed his back.

he was fucking you stupid but you couldn’t complain, he knew your body like back of his hand our mind foggy as all you could focus on was him thrusting in and out of you.

if patrick was able photograph this moment, he would. your fucked out expression, the way your tits bounced with each thrust, the anklet he bought you that was adorned in diamonds sitting pretty on his shoulder. however he knew that this wasn’t something to be commemorated, this was a goodbye.

his hands squeezed your pretty tits, circling your spit covered nipples until they were hardened peaks. “you’re gonna what? i can’t help you if you don’t use your words doll.” he rasped against your ear, biting back the urge to moan after feeling your pussy fluttering around him.

he knew that he was being a bit mean by playing dumb but he didn’t want this to end, so if he had to prolong your orgasm then that was it.

your back arched slightly at the stimulation you were experiencing, making you heady with pleasure. “i-i’m gonna cum patrick.” you admitted, voice strained and tears brimming your eyes as you were soon approaching your climax. “see, now i can help with that.” his hands snake down to your clit rubbing it in circles, only speeding up your orgasm.

your body convulsed as you came all over patrick’s dick, legs still trembling from the after effects of your orgasm. patrick’s release followed shortly after, slumping down beside you with a huff. the two of you stayed like that for a while, your breathing being the only sounds filling the room.

eventually sleep claims you both, his arms snug around your waist providing you more comfort than you anticipated. by the time you wake up its midday and the sunlight is streaming through the curtains.

you get a start on your day, ignoring the way your muscles ache with each turn and the litter of hickeys decorating your neck that are still visible no matter how many times you part your hair in different directions.

days later, patrick finally signs the divorce papers you’ve sent him in the mail. you’re too busy staring at the words on the paper to notice your wedding ring that has rolled out of the envelope.

you hold the ring that now more feels weighted than before, it holds an air of finality toward it that leaves you with a bittersweet feeling, that it was now all finally over.

[bookshelf-dust]

can u pleaaaasseeeeee write something rly cute w patrick and reader where she takes care of him:((( maybe after the match where tashi gets injured he doesn't know where to go and he goes to her, and she comforts him and yk. like i just wanna give him a hug so bad

patrick zweig x fem!reader

word count: 1,208

warnings: a little swearing, overwhelmed/frustrated patrick, reader tries to straighten him out but also make him feel better, fluff (i can’t think of anything else)

a/n: hii baby!! i don’t usually take requests, but i loved this idea too much to let it slip away!!! i turned it into a little baby fic for you, and left it so you can interpret reader and patrick’s relationship however you’d like. and i made sure to give him that big big hug!! it takes place right after art and tashi tell patrick to get the fuck out lol. thank you for sharing this idea with me and i hope you enjoy it!!! <33

————

“I didn’t go to the match.” 

Patrick says your name desperately, like he needs you to make this better somehow. You don’t have the heart to tell him this is out of your wheelhouse. 

The man is pacing, fingers weaving in between his knotted curls and tugging at them, making his hair greasier by the minute. He’s sweaty, wearing a shirt you thought belonged to Tashi. In truth, his manic state is making you dizzy. 

“You didn’t go?” you ask, crossing your arms over your chest. You sink further into the couch cushions. 

“No. I fucked off after we fought and—” 

“And,” you finish for him, “now the headlines are blowing up because Tashi fucking Duncan’s been injured and might’ve just jeopardized her entire career.” 

Patrick kicks the base of the oversized chair you keep in the corner of your living room. “Fuck!” he shouts. 

You stand up quick enough to make your vision blur, but ignore it. “Hey! Shithead! Don’t go fuckin’ with my furniture.” 

He raises his hands, his cheeks flushed. “I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—

“No, you shouldn’t. Now sit your pretty ass down and tell me why you’re so panicked. I don’t have time for minced words.”

Patrick sits down. He watches as you lean over the side of the couch, the soft leather creaking, your oversized pajama shirt riding up to reveal cotton shorts. He realizes with a start that you’d settled in for the night when he barged in. 

Being hit in the stomach with a ball snaps him out of his reverie. “There,” you say. “Squeeze that instead of hurting my shit.” He looks down at the stress ball in his hands and sits in the chair he’d just brutalized. 

He’s quiet for a few more minutes, and you’re just about to say his name when he speaks. 

“I told Tashi I didn’t want to be her groupie. I don’t even know why I said it, I-I just got fed up with planning everything around her tournaments and Art’s at fucking Stanford and I…I just think I’m pretty damn good at tennis too…right? When will it be my turn to be number one?”

Your brow creases. “If you didn’t go to the game, how’d you know she got injured so fast?”

That’s not what Patrick was expecting you to say, but he supposes it’s a valid question. He’s not used to having someone be so assertive with him. But maybe that’s why you work. 

“I, uh, I went down to apologize, and you know word spreads pretty fast about that shit, so when I heard someone talking about her knee, I just started walking. And then Tashi and Art were in the infirmary, and obviously she’d told him what I’d said and they both—”

He’s rambling, and you’re not sure he’s taken a proper breath at all since he got here. “Patrick.” You stop him before he keels over on your rug. “Come sit over here with me.”

He does what you say because he can’t form a single coherent thought and instructions sound really nice. 

“You stood up for yourself, alright? That’s okay. I’m sure Tashi did the same. I’m sure you both said things you didn’t mean. But…it’s not any of my business.” You pause. 

You love Patrick. He's one of the few people you’ve been able to connect with and never worry about where you stand or whether they’ll be there for you if you’re in deep shit. And right now you just want to be a neutral party. He never worries about things going wrong like this, and then he’s never prepared and can’t handle it.

You inhale and continue. Patrick’s eyes are glued to your face, taking in every feature and waiting desperately for you to give him the lifeline he needs. He looks young and scared, and pleading. 

“You have to give Tashi some space. She’s a strong woman, a total badass, but this is fucking huge, Patrick, y’know? Don’t overwhelm her any more. Give Art some time too, okay? If you go to them now it’s gonna be a shit show.”

He nods, his eyes bordering dangerously on the edge of becoming watery. All he hears is alone, alone, alone. Patience is not his strong suit. 

“It’s not your fault Tashi got injured, Patrick. It’s just bad timing. You never could’ve known she’d get hurt a few hours after you ripped her a new one.”

He snorts. He knows you’re trying to make him feel better. And what else did he come over here for? 

“I know,” he finally says. “I just got so pent up, and admittedly I’ve been a dick lately, but I don’t know what to do.”

You shrug, a little smile appearing on your face. “So don’t be a dick.”

Patrick blinks at you. “Don’t be a dick?”

“Yeah, don’t be a massive dick and don’t let yours control your decisions either, Zweig.” He almost protests, but you hold up a hand. “You know I’m right. For now, just focus on doing your job, and it will all sort itself out.”

He lets out a low laugh and starts shaking his head. He can’t believe this is his life right now. Honestly he should though, because of course it’d wind up being a shit show after such a good streak. 

“Patrick?”

The gentle tone of your voice snaps him out of his reverie. He finds your gaze with impressive speed. “Hm?”

“Would you like to lay down? We could—

“Yes.” Patrick sits up on his knees, eyes shining and waiting for whatever embrace you’ll give him. 

Without speaking, you lay down on your side with your spine pressed to the back of the couch. Patrick lays down next to you so quickly you think he might’ve gotten whiplash, and buries his face in your collarbones. He tucks one hand under his cheek and wraps the other one around your waist. You let him rest his temple on your arm and hug him close to you.

“It’s all gonna work out, okay, sweetheart? I’ll be here when the shit hits the fan.”

He looks up at you. “And when it doesn’t?”

“I’ll still be here anyway. You don’t ever have to suffer alone.”

Patrick lets out a little laugh. “You’ll suffer with me?”

You scratch at the base of his scalp with your nails. “Of course. I love suffering with you, Mr. Zweig.”

Patrick smiles, amazed at how he landed you for a best friend. You’ve never judged him a day in your life, even when he’s made the shittiest of all decisions and pushed everyone else away. 

He lowers his head and burrows back into the warmth of your embrace. “Me too,” he mumbles. 

“And Patrick? I just want you to know that you are fucking stellar at tennis. You’re great, and you’re talented, and you don’t need validation from anyone else to recognize that. But if it helps, you’re always number one in my heart.”

He squeezes you, closing his eyes so he doesn’t cry because you’re being so sweet. You give him tough love, but that’s what he needs. 

“Thank you,” he says. And he means it. He believes what you’re saying, and he realizes he always has. 

————

please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33

[fruitjoos]

not enough

GIF SOURCE: @harcive

patrick zweig x reader

patrick was touring with the ATP, while you were savoring the freedom of your gap year summer vacation. amidst shelves of handcrafted trinkets and colorful scarves in a quaint madrid market, your eyes met his, igniting an instant connection. you wandered through the enchanting streets, your bond deepening with every shared dream and burst of laughter.

in the heart of madrid, under the spell of first love, the world seemed to fade away. by the end of that day, patrick realized he couldn't bear the thought of you being far from him. he asked for your number, a simple request that marked the beginning of everything.

now, a year and a half into your relationship, here you were. back in new york.

he hastily shuffled around, stuffing your clothes into your duffel bag. you shook your head, watching him as you kneeled in the middle of his bed. “you want to go so badly, and leave me here,” he huffs, “fine, i’ll help you pack.”

he paced from room to room, closet to bathroom, bathroom to den, and back to the bedroom, grabbing anything and everything in an attempt to erase you from his apartment. he wanted no trace left behind whatsoever. if you wanted to be gone, that’s what you were going to be.

“patrick, stop!” you called out, your voice laced with desperation, but he either didn’t hear you or didn’t care. “can you stop? let’s just talk about this,” you pleaded, reaching for his bicep, which he quickly snatched away from your grasp.

you had just broken the news to him that you’d been accepted into a school in the UK, offering a full-ride scholarship for journalism, a passion of yours. an opportunity you’d be crazy not to pursue. but patrick wasn’t taking the news well, his hostility apparent from the moment you mentioned moving across the world.

a frustrated sigh escaped your lips as he glared down at you. “why can’t you just think about me for a second?” you asked, rubbing your hands over your face. he let out a chuckle of disbelief.

“think about you?” he echoed, scoffing, a mock smile quickly replaced by a hardened, confused expression. your name dripped from his lips like venom. “all i ever do is think about you. every waking moment.” he pointed a finger at his chest, his voice growing more heated.

“i quit tennis for you. you’re the reason i’m in this situation, dealing with my parents every fucking week, talking about shit i don’t care about, just to keep money in my bank account,” he argued, his voice rising with each word.

“you’re doing that for yourself,” you interjected, but he talked right over you.

“i get shit from my parents about how my life would’ve been shit without them, and they’re glad i finally realized it,” he threw up air quotes, “because i’m working for them now. i have to listen them degrade me every week for hours because of you.” he squinted at you, as if the look of stupidity on your face was blinding him. you quietly tutted, rolling your eyes. “so don’t you ever try to say that i’m not thinking of you. because you’re all i ever think about!”

“i didn’t ask you to do that,” you declared, your voice trembling.

“you didn’t have to, i just did!” he screamed, causing goosebumps to rise on your arms. “because i fucking love you! and i wanted to be with you!” he panted from the intensity, his chest heaving. “and when you love someone, you have to make those sacrifices.” he stepped closer, his anger palpable.

all you could do was sit there, feeling small and helpless. you stared into each other’s eyes for what felt like an eternity, trying to read each other’s minds. the silence was deafening, and despite the thermostat being set to 70 degrees, your body felt like it was on fire in the middle of winter.

“but apparently, you don’t love me that much,” he finally spoke, breaking the silence. his tongue rolled in the side of his cheek, as he blinked rapidly, trying to cover any emotion or sign of weakness.

“oh, come on,” you scoffed, throwing your hands up and letting them fall back to your sides. “i do love you,” you said, scooting closer to the edge of the bed near him. he stepped back almost immediately.

“but not enough,” he said, throwing the half-full duffel bag filled with your things on the empty bed spot next to you before storming out of the apartment, the door slamming shut behind him.

[midwestprincesss]

PARTNERS IN CRIME | chapter 1

pairing: enemies to lovers patrick zweig x female!reader summer camp au

summary: after graduating highschool, both you and patrick look for a summer job. you, because you wanted to save some money before college. and him because he needed a place to sleep. you thought you finally got rid of him forever, after highschool. but it's patrick zweig, so c'mon.

a/n: it's a biiiit short i knoww but i'm tired so YEAH! sorry! loveu guys tho!!!!!!!!

contents: uh. some talk ab masturbation, patrick has a crusty cum sock but are we surprised, reader is literally patrick, they can't stand eachother but they also wanna fuck eachother, blahblahblah

taglist: @jackierose902109 @primlovesdilfs

prologue

''wake up.'' you heard a voice. a guy's voice. it took you a while to actually wake up and realize it was patrick, leaning against your door frame.

you groaned and threw your pillow at him. ''get the fuck out!''

he chuckled and picked up the pillow, throwing it back at you with more force. ''it's 8am. you have to get up, like, now.''

''ugh! why are you even in my room, zweig? have you been watching me or something? you fucking perv. go away!''you yelled, pulling the blanket over your head. and of course the fucker had to walk over to your bed and pull the blanket off of you.

''look, it's not my fault we got paired up in the same cabin. now if you stopped being a fucking bitch for once and got up, that would be great. we have to do the whole initiation bullshit with all those kids. get out of the fucking bed.'' he said and slammed the door.

it was an actual nightmare come true. patrick never had any concept of personal space, but you thought that maybe it was just a phase. turns out it wasn't. he looked almost ready to get into bed with you-but only so that he could push you off of it. not that you wished he would get into bed with you to do something else- no, ew. you'd sleep with anyone but patrick zweig.

but he did look good. and even though you didn't want to admit it, you knew it. he's tall, muscular and handsome. perhaps that contributes to your hatred for him. you couldn't stand it when he looked at you with those doe-like green eyes of his. or when he bit his lip at the most inappropiate times. or the way the muscles in his legs flexed when he was running. or how nice his freckles look.

but you were not attracted to patrick, god no. these were just little exceptions.

well, maybe this morning was an exception as well. the way he spoke to you turned you on, weirdly. he seemed so pissed off- he looks hot when he's angry. maybe that's why you get a kick out of annoying him.

you finally rolled out of bed with a groan, checking the time. it was, in fact, not 8 am, as patrick had told you, but 7:30. the fucker.

you decided on not going back to sleep anymore- mostly because you weren't that sleepy anymore but also because you didn't want to let your thoughts about patrick wander. the most ridiculous and embarassing thing would be to jerk off while thinking about that smug little bitch. you would have good excuses though- it was morning, you were just horny, blah blah blah. but still, the aftermath of it all would have been the most humbling experience ever so you decided it was best to just skip all of it.

after doing no efforts in making your bed, you headed to the bathroom to brush your teeth and put on a bit of makeup, then you put on a pair of shorts and a stupid t-shirt with the name of the camp on it. and just when you were about to leave the cabin, you noticed patrick's door was slightly open. would it realyyy be that bad if you looked around his room a bit?

no, it wouldn't. he barged into your room while you were still in there, sleeping, without even knocking. so it can't be worse than that.

you opened the door and looked around. it smelt like axe body spray and cigarettes. you looked up at the smoke detector and obviously it was covered with a shower cap. it was such a patrick thing to do. then, you noticed the fact that he hadn't made his bed. also a very patrick thing. but then you remembered your bed looks exactly the same so you quickly found something else to focus on- the fucking sock next to his bed. just one, singular sock on the floor- gross. so. fucking. gross. to think he was jerking his shit in a room right next to yours- just straight up gross. not hot- not hot at all. it's actually disgusting to think about him slowly stroking his big, throbbing dick with pretty moans falling from his lips (such a shame you didn't hear them). what was he thinking about? about you, maybe. but you hope it wasn't you, 'cause that would definitely not be hot- not at all.

when you opened the door you found patrick in front of the cabin, checking his phone.

you sighed, loudly, so that he could hear you. he did not react. you did it again- but still, no reaction from him.

you decided to break the silence. '' why the fuck did you come here? did you know i was gonna be here? your parents are fucking rich. you're basically swimming in money there, at your house. why couldn't you stay there?'' you snapped at him, slightly surprising yourself. you did plan on having this conversation with him, but you didn't expect it to happen so soon. it was like you were speaking without actually wanting to.

''wouldn't you like to know.'' he deadpanned, then continued to type something on his phone.

you stared at him, tapping your foot. ''you checking if i replied to that text you sent me three days ago? 'cause i didn't. and just so you know, i was not smiling at you.''

''it looked like you were. i bet you missed me.'' he finally looked up from his phone but without making eye contact with you yet. he was smirking. again. you felt like punching him. again.

''zweig, i swear if you don't shut up-''

''make me shut up, then.'' he said. so fucking cheesy.

''your stupid pick-up lines don't work on me. you're not gonna turn me into one of your fangirls'' you warned him, inching closer and closer to him. ''and by the way, i'll get back at you for waking me up earlier. you're a fucking cunt.''

he didn't reply anything. he just looked directly into your eyes, with his eyebrows slightly raised. it was almost like his face was screaming, punch me! punch me!

you ignored your violent urges- you figured it would be better to put all that energy into something else- maybe, instead of punching him, you could flood his room- something of the sort.

but of course, that would be quite impossible given the fact that you would have to pay actual money for the damage. so, maybe punching was still an option, but not yet.

''i'm starving. i'll go get some breakfast.'' you said as you started walking away. ''-and don't try to sit next to me at the table. it's enough i have to sleep in the same cabin as you- i don't want to be reminded of your gross eating habits.'' pickles and peanut butter, disgusting. you remember how patrick used to eat that, in the school cafeteria- like actually. and with people around him. and still- he got girls. somehow.

he immediately came running after you, laughing a bit- ''oh come on, i don't eat that shit anymore, i was like 15 back then. and plus- i don't know anyone around here-'' he tried to make a point, but you cut him off with a loud and clear 'no.' he sighed and rolled his eyes at that, but ended up sitting on the opposite side of the table.

the whole time you were having breakfast you could feel his eyes on you. only this time, he wasn't smirking or grinning or anything of the sort- he just looked like a lost puppy.

it almost made you feel bad.

[tinytennisskirt]

Rematch

ex situationship patrick x reader

summary: you and patrick used to be the epitome of casual. aside from a few things... he was cheating on his girlfriend with you and all you could do from then on was hate him. eight years later, you work together. you're forced to share transportation and stay at the same hotels. The close proximity isn't much good for two people who have gotten by on avoidance. And it only becomes harder to avoid certain words. and certain actions.

warnings: smut! mentions of sex, unprotected sex. enemies to lovers- hateful words, slight miscommunication (through hating so much), a lot of swearing. somewhat edited...

“You’re hitting on my sister?” You said, overhearing him as you approached the outside gate of the tennis court. You walked over, knocking Patrick in the chest with your racket. That sly son of a bitch didn’t budge an inch. “You know she’s only nineteen? And she’s a fucking lesbian you absolute idiot.” You followed up. He just grinned. 

“I didn’t know she was any of those things,” he shrugged, hands up in surrender. “You don’t look alike. She’s actually pretty.” 

You rolled your eyes. You knew he didn’t mean what he said but still said it. “Fuck you, Zweig.”

“You used to like that, you know,” he said, grin widening to something evil. You didn’t know how he could stand in front of you and say the stupid shit he was saying, seemingly unabashed. 

“That’s enough,” your sister said to both you and him. Your racket didn’t waiver from the place it rested against his chest. You kept that warning in your eyes. “Y/N, he didn’t know. And he wasn’t inappropriate. He just said my swing was good with a weird tone.” 

“Weird tone?” Patrick repeated.

You smiled just a bit at that. “It’s better than good. You know- you are the same guy you were eight years ago somehow. Grow up and go away, Zweig,” you said, glaring at Patrick. And to think you were the sweet one in your family. It was all fun and tennis until Patrick was around. He wasn’t exactly an ex, but someone who frequented the bed in your dorm room eight years ago at Stanford. He was a drug of choice, a situational type of person who when visiting his friend Art Donaldson, would also visit you, a few dorms down. 

It was hot. He’d be sneaking around with you at parties, finding unoccupied rooms to kiss you with a force that usually winded you, wide hands on your waist, holding you close against a wall, a door, and sometimes the floor. If he saw you in the cafeteria all it took was a glance at you to communicate exactly which stall in the bathroom to meet him in while he excused himself from Art and Tashi Duncan. He’d be in your room late at night making you finish in three different ways and walking back to his friend’s room at four in the morning. 

Sometimes you’d make out for hours on end with only touching, but all of it, every action, every trace of his finger, every word was all traced with lust. Sometimes you swore he liked you, lingering after you both had finished, still grazing his hands over the curve of your hip, kissing your forehead, tucking your hair behind your ear… It was supposed to be casual, you reminded yourself. He was too attached. 

The funny thing was, you’d been in Stanford tennis too, a hometown prodigy with a father successful in the tennis world. Tashi called nepotism and you never got along, but you and Tashi never hated each other more when she found out you were fucking her boyfriend. If you had known you wouldn’t have been doing it, but the damage was done and there was no apology for a girl who fucked her knee up after a big fight with Patrick. No apology could include the extent of how sorry you were without telling her what for. 

And you met with Patrick just to yell at him. He was a shitty person with shitty morals and you made sure he knew that. And even in all the yelling, you still fucked him in your car. But that was the last time. The second your lips disconnected for the last time, it was supposed to be the last time you spoke to him. And it was simple. “Fuck you. You’re an asshole, I never want to see you again.” His eyebrows furrowed as you collected your clothes and disappeared back home. 

It went well, not seeing him again. He stopped visiting his friend who had sided with Tashi, he had no reason to come around. But he picked up a job coaching in the area you moved to seven years later. Your boss was a powerful woman and the pay was amazing, so Patrick became your coworker and you put up with that. And it was awful, but you scheduled yourself away from him and your paths only crossed at meetings and maybe once every few months, but it was still too much. You made do with the few words you had to give him, but other than that you stayed far away, and rightfully so. The only conversations you’d had in all of the year you’d been around him again were easy jabs, quips, argumentative things. But for the sake of your job, it didn’t go farther than easy insults. You still hated him for what he did, for how he used you when he was seeing Tashi. For how he treated you when he had a whole girlfriend waiting for him after hours. You weren’t proud of what you did and he was just a living reminder of something that haunted you. 

He was this adult douchebag-type now- you swore you saw him with two different women at the cafe you passed on your way to work. You could mind your business, but it was fucked to know he hadn’t changed. Eight years and no change. So yeah, Patrick talking to your sister, granted- step-sister, was something you had to nip in the bud. 

Patrick nodded, his jaw tensing. “Your sister here is my student today.” He said, gesturing to the split court. Sometimes split courts happened, but you’d only been paired with him on one once. “The list here says so.” He uncrumpled a piece of paper from his pocket and pointed at her name. 

“So you’ll switch me. Easy,” You stated, trying all you could not to hit him with another insult. Your sister picked up her rackets, moving to your side so Patrick didn’t have a say. It was your turn to smile. “You’re lucky I don’t fucking report you.” You added. 

“You’d miss having me around too much, I don’t think you have it in you,” He replied. 

You narrowed your eyes, “Get a grip.” You said, turning away from him. You heard his low chuckle as he called your student over. You rubbed your face while you walked to the other side, trying to wipe away the feeling you’d lost brain cells just talking to him. This was why you didn’t engage with him- it never went well. “Sorry.” You apologized to your sister. 

“It’s fine, honestly. He’s such a dick.” 

“I know,” you sighed. “I’m unfortunately cursed with knowing when Patrick has the intention to flirt. He’s fucking obvious.” You said, grabbing a ball. 

Your sister laughed. “He was coming on a little weird. To be fair I think he thought I was some random girl outside the court. But this is why I don’t date men.” 

You were glad you didn’t have to see him for another two months. You continued to train your sister as the other girls you were training had all fallen off. Your company made sure to only train the most competitive of girls and that was your sister for sure. She was amazing- not better than you- but amazing. When the time came for another Junior US Open, she was the perfect candidate for it. Your company, your boss, she usually sent two, booked them and their trainer a room at an amazing nearby hotel, paid for travel and food and gave a spending bonus for the hard work and you were hoping to god that it was your sister. You’d lost the Junior US Open to a twisted ankle- and Tashi Duncan and it would be amazing to see your sister go and win. 

She had worked so hard for it. And finally, your boss called all the trainers in for a meeting. There were ten of you, some with two students, most with only one, but you all sat in the fluorescent-lit room in front of the projector that projected the logo of the company on the white wall. Your boss thanked you all for coming and congratulated all of you on all your amazing seasons and work coaching the students. Talking about the best of the best. Eventually came to the portion where she would name the two students who were going to the open, the two that were going on the trip. 

And she said your sister's name. Your chest filled with excitement and happiness and pride and obviously you had to contain it. You were going back to the Junior US Open, it was an amazing way to get her name out there as a player and make everything all worthwhile. You started thinking up creative ways to tell her, thinking about the company limo on the way up, thinking about how to increase training all crossing your mind. “-And Simon Abernathy.” She added. For the boy's division. His name was familiar. 

And it was no wonder. Patrick clapped once out of success and you felt your eye twitch just a bit. It was his student, it was Patrick’s student, which meant you’d be with him this entire trip. He would be one of the only people you knew out that way- and it would be just him, you, and your students. There was only one word and it slipped out of your mouth quietly enough to go unnoticed. “Fuck.” You avoided Patrick’s gaze, but you just knew he had that big stupid grin on his face. 

When the car pulled up outside of your apartment, you insisted on putting your own bag in the trunk. It was just how you were. You were first to be picked up and it was always fun to be in a limo. A road trip was still a road trip, two days to be specific and it would have been something to look forward to if it wasn’t for him. Thank god you picked up your sister next, then Simon, then Patrick. You and your sister were far too engaged in your conversation to think about the boys on the other end. You talked about training, and game day, and you went over what it was like when you competed. 

The day passed by, book in hand, iPod on, and earbuds plugged in. You stopped once for lunch and another for gas but at the end of the night you were at a nice motel. Nothing like the motels you knew when you were in the Junior Open. In this motel, everything worked properly, smelled nice, and was actually clean. Patrick, unloading his bag for the night passed you yours and you said the only word you’d said to him all day- “Thanks.”

You and your sister hung out in your motel room, two-bed, talking about the day. She lay like a starfish on her bed, but she rolled over to face you as you pulled on your pajama shirt. “You never told me why you hate Patrick so much.” She said, eyes wide. You just groaned and rolled onto your back. “Come on. You obviously know each other from something.” 

“I will be so honest with you, I am too tired to get into it,” You said. “I just… ugh.” 

“It’s fine- like you don’t have to give me all the details, I just want to know why.” She replied, moving to sit on the edge of your bed. “You guys dated, right?” 

You covered your face, “Not exactly.” 

“Okay, so? What happened? I’m nineteen, Y/N, come on.” 

You hated talking about it, you hated admitting it. Knowing that he was one of the few men in the world to ever touch you but the only one who had left impact, left you wanting in his wake, the only one to make you finish… It was crazy, it was despicable. You hated remembering it had only ever been him to touch you right. And now you were admitting it to your sister. “Casual… sex. Friends, almost. Mostly the benefits.” You said, trying to keep it simple. Her eyes widened even larger. “Turns out he was cheating on his girlfriend with me.”

“He’s just a dick,” she nodded, understanding. “I’m so sorry, that must have put you in an awful position.” 

“I felt awful, I still feel awful,” you told her. “One of the worst things I’ve ever done.” 

“I get that,” she nodded. “Was he any good anyways?” 

You hated the question. “No.” You lied. “Awful.” 

She laughed, “Makes sense.” You knew she had more questions but didn’t want to pry. Besides, you were both tired. She showered before bed and by the time she got out, you were asleep, waiting for the next day of the road trip to be over. In the morning you showered, tied your hair up, and got into the car again with your sister. Patrick and Simon were doing their own things as the car got back onto the road. 

You continued listening to music, looking out the window, shutting out the sounds of the car. Your sister watched you change the song three times, but when her gaze shifted back to the conversation with Simon, she noticed Patrick’s eyes on you. Knowing what she knew now, she hated him just a little bit more. She watched him for a bit and he didn’t look away, so she addressed him to take his attention off of you before you noticed. 

That night at another motel, your sister was much too tired to stay up watching the motel television bullshit with you and passed right out on top of her covers. You fixed that, obviously, but after getting into bed yourself you let an hour pass with no sleep. You just couldn’t, no matter what you tried. At that point, you said fuck it and put your bathing suit on. The motel had a hot tub and a pool and maybe a quick swim could tire you out. You wrapped yourself in a towel and headed out to where the motel pool was. The lights from within the pool gave off a sort of aquamarine tint to the things around it- it was the only source of light aside from the ones lining the wall of the motel and the shining motel sign that flashed gold and red. It was perfectly dim and the night was perfectly still, just as the empty pool was. You put your towel to the side and waded in, pulling your hair up into some lazy updo so it wouldn’t get soaked in pool water. You were barely up to your shoulders when his voice spoke up, “It’s a bit late to swim, don’t you think? Isn’t it your thing to get an early sleep for an early start?” He asked. Patrick was in the hot tub, you’d completely missed him. 

“Maybe when I was playing or when I’m coaching, but we’re in the middle of nowhere with no court in sight.” You replied. “Can I just enjoy my swim, please? I won’t bother you if you don’t bother me.” 

“Fair,” he replied. You could hardly see him in the dim of the pool lights, but you could make out his figure, arm draped over the edge of the hot tub like he was reversing a car. “Since you said please.” 

“Uh huh,” You replied. You didn’t stay for as long as you intended. Being alone anywhere with him was too gross for comfort. Neither he nor you said goodnight when you went back to your room, showered, and fell asleep.

The next stretch of road was the last before the hotel. You were set up nicely and you thanked the concierge boys who helped you with your bags as you went to the front desk to retrieve your room keys, everything dealt with already by your boss. You handed the keys out. “Here’s how this is going to work. There’s a week before the Junior Open and this hotel, even if it comes across as luxury, it’s here so you can get a good, safe, comfortable rest on the days leading up. If Patrick and I have nothing on the schedule for you, you’re free to roam around the local area, however, curfew is 11. Please check your emails for the daily schedule.” 

Simon nodded and Patrick looked like he didn’t pay any attention- why would he anyway? “Sounds good,” Your sister smiled. “And we get our own rooms?” 

“We have the second-to-top floor suite. It’s like four hotel rooms joined into one, attached to a main bathroom, living room, place to eat, and a kitchen. Kind of like a house with a four-person hotel hallway built in.” You said. You were so excited to finally lock yourself away in your hotel room with a book and not have to sit in a car with Patrick for hours at a time. Sure, he’d be nearby but the hotel and its amenities would make for an amazing way to keep yourself far from him. He plucked his key card out of your hand and as he passed, you could smell his cologne. 

The room was amazing and the view was even more beautiful. There was a balcony in the suite as well as in your room, but the joined balcony beat that one out for a better view. You curled up in your super comfortable hotel bed with your book and finished it before dinner. Your sister came in and out wondering what she should wear to the Junior Open, already stressing about that because she didn’t want to stress about the actual game. You helped for a bit, then you went out to the main room. 

“Simon, do you have dinner plans?” You asked him. He was on the couch playing with some portable video game device. 

“Nah, I was thinking room service. My parents gave me a hundred to spend.” He said. 

You nodded, “I was thinking the same thing.” Your sister agreed, busy going through her schedule. So you ordered room service for everyone, sending Simon to go see what Patrick wanted. You were surprised he even stuck around the room and wasn’t at the casino downstairs or out at some club already. Dirtbag activities. 

The next day was a late start, but you and your sister went down to the hotel gyms to work out a bit before going to the hotel courts to practice. Three days until the game. You practiced all methods, swings, serves, and Patrick and Simon practiced in the next court over. Then you went separate ways for lunch just to meet back after at the court. You were done around four so you didn’t overdo it and the rest of the night was free. You and your sister continued to talk strategy and gossip over cranberry juice in the main room of the suite and you were vaguely aware of Patrick sitting in the corner going through his phone, his hand on his head, elbow resting on his knee. He looked up at one point, meeting your eyes and you looked away. The price you paid for being curious. Your sister and Simon, both tired from the day went to their rooms a little early. You decided to get dressed properly and head downstairs to the casino and play a few hands of whatever games they had going. 

You adjusted the length of your skirt as you sat down at the table and took part in everything happening. You were dealt in and in only a small amount of time, you had a good amount of money owed to you. You were definitely on a roll. “Didn’t know you gambled,” Patrick said, sitting beside you on the empty stool. You groaned out loud, rolling your eyes. “You're good, too, what is this, around $400?” 

“$700, and what are you doing here?” 

“I can’t enjoy the casino?” 

“You couldn’t enjoy any other game?” You asked, not even caring to look his way. You raised your hand to signal the dealer to let you out of the game. 

Patrick waved the dealer off and turned to face you better, “Don’t stop just because I’m here. And I like this game- my favourite one, actually, and the only table that has it.” He told you. You looked at him, hoping your eyes would burn through him. But he looked maybe half genuine, aside from the smirk. It was your favourite game too. 

“You’re just going to lose to me, you know that, right?”

“I’m okay with that,” he smiled and his eyes met yours. “Or, I’m okay with you thinking that. Say goodbye to your $700.” His grin slowly crawled up his face.

“Uh-huh?” You laughed at him as he got himself dealt into the game. It was a laugh of disbelief- one, that he thought he could win and two, that he was really that sure. “You’re really still that sure of yourself?” 

“Still? You think I’m sure of myself?” 

“It’s not a compliment, Zweig.” Your laughing at him died down just a little, you couldn’t maintain it when he was just such a fucking loser.

“I am that sure of myself.” He replied. “You don’t think I can?” 

You shook your head and spoke firmly. No. I don’t think you can.” Your tongue pressed against your cheek and you pushed all your winnings to the centre, eyes not leaving his. “Try me.” Anything to put him in his place, truly. You could taste the win in your mouth the way it handed itself to you on a platter. And Patrick put a little extra money in on top of yours and the other player’s, eyes not leaving yours. But he did end up looking away first and the hand began. 

He had good cards and knew how to play them, but yours were better and you knew how to use them to their fullest potential. You placed yours down and they were better and the hand was about to go to you, but at the very last moment, unexpectedly, another player had a card just above yours and it was over, just like that. The man swept away your winnings and you just scoffed. 

“You were that sure of yourself?” Patrick replied. “Nice.” 

“Nice? Asshole.” You got up from your chair and grabbed your purse, ready to move on to another game at another table and let him enjoy his ‘favourite’. “My cards were above yours anyway.” You said as your face passed his. He just grinned as you walked away. 

You were good at other games, thank god. It wasn’t all lost money. You won another $350 by midnight and decided to stop and leave behind the men who had been hitting on you during the last few hands of poker. You were happy with the winnings and the fact Patrick hadn’t been seen the rest of your night. It was a good distraction either way. 

You bought yourself a bottle of iced tea with your winnings and walked over to the elevator, pressing the button to go up to the suite and using your key card to confirm it. It was just your luck that Patrick walked into the elevator. “You have your own keycard, you know that, right?” You sighed, turning away from him and pulling out your phone to pay attention to anything else as the doors closed, locking you in there with him.

He held it up, then shoved it into his pocket. “So did you end up winning your money back? I watched your games, you’re not all that great at poker. I don’t think a career in gambling is in the cards.”

“I think I missed the part where I asked, Zweig.” You stated, folding your arms. “And I think you missed all of the context clues that tell you that I don’t want to talk to you.” 

“You’re so angry,” he remarked, leaning against the metal elevator wall. “Isn’t it exhausting?” 

“Not as exhausting as talking to you.” 

“Fuck you,” he replied. 

You turned to look at him, pausing a beat just to look at him in disbelief. “You used to like that, you know?” 

“You’re not better than me for anything that happened after. You knew I cheated and you still fucked me after, you remember that one?” 

“It wasn’t very memorable,” You chuckled to yourself even though it was one of the biggest lies you’d ever told anyone. He’d put you in a corner. Of course, you knew you weren’t better than him for that last time. It haunted you, but not much more than the entirety of it haunted you. His lips against your lips, his lips against your skin, his lips between your thighs, they were memories that acted like ghosts. All of it was wrong, every kiss, every touch. It was sickening to remember that it wasn’t just you- and that it wasn’t just Tashi either. It was memorable, all of it, but for all the wrong and right reasons, and those right reasons were ten times more haunting because it was so wrong that it felt right. You knew Patrick sensed the lie but you couldn’t act like it. “I can be civil with you, Zweig, if you leave me alone like you have the past year or so. I don’t want to talk to you, why can’t you get that through your head?” 

He was silent, just staring at you, no grin on his face, not even a hint of a smirk playing on his lips. And as soon as the elevator doors opened, he funneled out and right up to his room. You let out a breath and blinked a few times to recalibrate. You took your melatonin, changed, washed up, and headed to bed. 

The next day he kept up exactly that. He didn’t address you, he hardly even looked at you and even if he did, you didn’t notice, you were far too busy. The Junior US Open was tomorrow. You woke up your sister at dawn to go to a hotel aquafit class and then dry off and hit the court. Patrick was there with Simon running east swing drills and you got your sister working hard. She was more than ready, you knew that, but you also knew that giving her any break would make her believe that you didn’t think so, so you kept her going. 

Simon called to you and your sister. “Doubles? For fun, before lunch?” He asked, walking over. Patrick stared at the ground as he walked over just a few steps behind. Poor guy didn’t know the vendetta both you and your sister had against Patrick. She nodded, so you nodded. You hadn’t played in a match in a while, honestly. It was all training and hitting the ball back and forth. 

You stood opposite Patrick on the court and it reminded you of a time when you had played him and Art next to Tashi, for fun. How you didn’t know they were together was beyond you, but you did remember how Art looked at her. You had to blink a few times to get the imagery out of your head as Simon served the ball. You were lucky your sister was on it. 

Patrick still played rough, swinging hard just to challenge your sister a bit. You appreciated the push from him if you were honest. She needed it. It was a good game and there were a few flop swings from you and Patrick that were laughable. You laughed more at him than yourself but he didn’t seem to mind it at all. He just dribbled the ball and served it back to you to hit it over to Simon, etc. 

Your sister watched how Patrick’s eyes stayed on you when the ball was over with Simon being served. She couldn’t help but think it was a little weird how he seemed to be fighting a smile and she followed up with wondering why. And you didn’t notice at all. 

Lunch was good, but you were back to it until dinner, then at the gym after dinner doing a bit of yoga. Your sister turned to you, “He knows that you don’t like him?” She asked. You hated knowing who ‘he’ was. 

“Mhm,” You hummed, stretching upward.

“He doesn’t act like he cares very much.” 

You looked over at her, “I don’t care if he cares. And he’s had around seven years to not care about any repercussions, so that’s just on the passage of time.” 

She moved into downward dog, “Have you talked about it?” 

“No.” You answered. “Kind of. When it had just happened. But that was all I ever said to him about it.” You disregarded last night. “He knows what he did was wrong and I don’t let him forget.” Your mind slipped back to what it felt to lay in his arms afterward, the way he kissed your hair and still cupped your face, the way all of it was wrong, the entire time. And how it felt to feel his hand trail against your skin as you pulled yourself away from him that very last time in your car. 

She clicked her tongue, “I can’t believe you have to work with him. Couldn’t you get him fired for so many things?” 

You nodded, but it hadn’t ever occurred to you why you hadn’t. It would have been simple, a collection of evidence and a complaint and surely he’d be out, but you hadn’t done anything like it. “I could.” You replied. “But I’m not that much of a bitch.” 

“You’re never a bitch,” your sister laughed. “You only become one when he’s around.” 

It was true. And later that night the only hint of Patrick there was, was the eye contact you made with him on the way up to your room. He sat on the couch on his phone while you exited the balcony with your cup of tea. Then it was early bed- the Junior US Open was tomorrow. 

That rolled around all too quickly. You got your sister up early for a massage and a stretch, you ordered her a protein shake as she stressed the entire time. You only spoke in affirmations all morning as you double and triple-checked that she had everything she needed, rackets, water, food, etc. The day was warm with a perfect cool breeze that was gentle enough to play tennis in. You tried not to let the stress of the day get to you as you were driven to the courts. You reminded your sister of all she trained for and she was more than excited, she was bouncing more than the tennis balls were around the court as she warmed up. She wasn’t on until later, so you hit the ball back and forth to pass the time outside. 

Game in game out she was a winner and she knew it, winning her games consecutively. 

In between, you watched Simon’s games and he did well until he didn’t, falling behind. Your sister continued later and by the time she was on the very last game, you knew she was a winner. You were on the sidelines cheering her on. She won, of course, she won. 

She came right to you and hugged you tightly, thanking you for everything. It was an amazing victory and nothing could ruin it. 

The car ride back to the hotel was your sister just yapping uncontrollably about the details of her game to poor Simon, who had not won. She was so excited about it, she was talking endlessly. Patrick was engaging with her at her own speed and you were tired, it was a good thing someone could do with all that she had to say. 

She had the biggest nap of her life when she got back to the hotel room. She was almost asleep in the car and she was lucky she made it to bed. You had a nap on her hotel room couch, that’s how tired you were as well. It was a big day. You woke up around seven pm, but she was still dead asleep. You snuck out quietly and into your room. You’d finished your book, your phone was boring, and Simon honestly wasn’t the best company so you showered the day off, dried your hair, put your makeup on and got dressed again. 

Just a black skirt and a comfortable black long-sleeved shirt, some jewelry you liked, and a bit of sparkle to your eyeshadow. You deserved it. All that and some easy kitten heels and you headed downstairs to the restaurant and bar. It was beautiful, warmly lit and dim, stained glass between the bar and the kitchen casting the light through the panes in different colours across the bar. You ordered a vodka cranberry and ate the lime out of it first. 

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing here all alone?” A man said. It wasn’t any man you knew, but a stranger. He came from behind you, old, but not too old, and a little bit handsome aside from the obvious aging. “I’ve never seen a pretty woman alone at a hotel bar. Hotel bars are for the straggling men, lost in the city. Like that one over there,” he said, pointing to the other end of the bar. You weren’t sure why your stomach flipped when you saw it was Patrick. He didn’t seem to see you, but he sat there at the bar with a short glass of what you knew was whiskey, swirling it around, his head resting against his fist. He was wearing a black t-shirt and black pants, having changed from earlier as well. “Now what’s your story, I’m curious.” 

You turned your attention back to the handsome older man. “Tennis,” you told him. And it sparked up a conversation that was really more insightful than the being hit on that you were expecting- not that you weren’t bought drinks by two other men at the bar who smirked from where they sat at a booth. The man seemed to be in his early sixties with some good things to say and you listened intently, not noticing Patrick’s eyes on you from where he sat. 

It was good to talk to someone so removed from the tennis world who had so much to say about investing in stocks and surprisingly, you didn’t hate it. You sipped your drink, getting a little surprised at the attention you were getting and it was something new. The night continued with more men hitting on you, trying to sit with you… You weren’t the most beautiful woman ever but you weren’t ugly… this was a lot either way. The night continued to pass. 

When Patrick got up, you noticed it, he locked eyes with you, raising his eyebrows and chuckling. At what? At you? You watched his tongue press into his cheek before he pointed at you on his way by… it took a moment to realize what exactly it was he was pointing at until you looked down. Your shirt with only a few buttons at the top, had all of the buttons undone and you had somehow not noticed. Your bra was on display like a hooker or like some common whore and you knew Patrick’s chuckle was at exactly that. 

“Fuck!” You said, turning away from the man and getting up without explaining a thing. You must have looked a little crazy. Patrick laughed out loud as he passed you; your anger and embarrassment got the best of you. Your voice became genuine, “Did you know the whole time?” 

He looked at you, looking at the hand that covered the undone buttons, “Almost, yeah.” You didn’t want to be angry, instead, you just stayed humiliated, your eyebrows furrowing. You couldn’t be mad, not now. So many paid-for drinks you didn’t even drink and so many compliments you’d taken so graciously and you didn’t know and he did? “I thought maybe it was on purpose, though. Maybe if I haven’t changed, you haven’t either.” He said. And now you could be angry. He couldn’t be unaffected, he couldn’t be normal. What he meant by what he said was that you were a slut. And that wasn’t fair.

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that and let it go because you’re drunk.” You said, straightening yourself out, trying to shake him off. “Not because you’re just an asshole who can’t mind his own business.” 

“I know my business- it’s you who came to the bar after me, today. If you wanted space so badly, why follow me?” 

“Follow you? Don’t flatter yourself, Zweig.” Your conversation moved just a few steps outside the hotel bar and into a corner of the vast lobby. You chuckled at the fact he really thought so. “I wanted a drink so I got a drink, like an adult who goes to a bar, I didn’t know these are your moping grounds.” 

He shook his head, rolling his eyes, “And you wanted civil?” 

“Everything you say is so completely self-absorbed. You’re obsessed with yourself, honestly get a fucking room. It’s disgusting how much you want to fuck yourself, pardon my reaction to it.”

He just grinned, “Yeah, okay, have fun with your senior citizen, how’s the bra thing working out for you?” 

You shook your head, tone changing again, “That- I didn’t know. I’m mortified.” 

“I’m sure. You know most women who are trying to gold dig go for a more subtle route.” He said, tilting his head and narrowing his eyes. 

“That’s enough,” You snapped. “That’s enough. You’ve been drinking, I’m not arguing with you over something so stupid as the buttons on my shirt. You’re not worth it. You’re not worth a second of my time, you are so beneath me, I am so past you. You are so pathetic, thinking I still give a fuck about what you think of me.” 

“That’s what you think of me? I’m pathetic. You say you don’t care but you seem to care an awful fucking lot.” That terrible fucking grin was so aggravating. 

“Then you’re delusional. Grow up, honestly. I asked you to leave me alone, not slut shame me for some stupid buttons. How much would it have cost your ego to have told me that my buttons were undone? I hate you but I would have had the decency to tell you if this was you in this situation. Fuck!” You ran your hand through your hair and the argument paused for a beat, then two. You breathed out heavily, turning, your hand still on your chest. And you just started walking toward the elevator. What else could you do but just walk away? He was the problem but you became one too when you were with him. It was almost unavoidable when everything he said upset you for reasons both explainable and inexplicable. You had no control over it all, you just had too much to say, so much internalized rage for what you’d done, for the position he’d put you in all those years ago. You were glad the elevator was empty as you scanned for the suite and the doors closed, but the elevator didn’t move, it just made a clunking noise and you knew, as the doors opened again, that there was no escape from this personal hell. Thank god you only had a day and a half left here with him, you thought, as the doors let him into the elevator with you. 

“Walk away like you had no part in that, yeah,” he said, moving to his side of the elevator. You groaned out loud, rolling your eyes so far back it hurt. “Reminds me of the other time you did the same thing.” 

“Was last night not enough?” You laughed in genuine disbelief. “You put me in a disgusting position that nobody should have to be in. You cheated! On your perfect girlfriend! With me, over and over and over and I had no idea because you didn’t have the decency to tell either of us.” 

“I was also nineteen years old!” He retaliated. “You expected me to have my shit all sorted out? I’m sorry I wasn’t a five-year-plan type of guy!” 

“That’s a crazy take when not cheating is one of the easiest things to do.” You laughed, scoffing when you caught your breath. “You used me.” 

Another beat, his eyes softened just in the slightest. “I didn’t use you.” He replied. “For what? For sex?” 

You guessed he didn’t need you for that. The elevator became uncomfortable as it rose between floors. Both of your hands fell to your sides, the top of your shirt falling open again unnoticed. You just blinked at his words, looking away. But no, what? You went right back into it, “Then why? Tell me that you weren’t just selfish, keeping two girls around to satisfy yourself beyond the regular needs of a man. Tell me that you weren’t only thinking about yourself and not the feelings of both your own girlfriend and the girl you’d sneak out to see. You made me some fucking mistress! The other woman, I didn’t know I was the other woman, can you imagine what finding that out feels like? The guilt? The shame? Tell me you weren’t just selfish.” 

“Not everything comes down to that. You’re seeing this how you want to see it. You are at fault, you are not innocent in this. You knew and you still fucked me and-” Patrick hit the pause elevator button and you just glared. “No matter what you said to me afterward, you still did it. None of this is linear or organized, it just fucking happened. You are not the victim you say you are, you deserve a good portion of that guilt because you fucked me, even after, no matter what you’ve done to shut that part out.” He said. You felt the fire behind your own eyes. 

“I haven’t shut it out, I’ve grown past it. What you did is still wrong.” 

“I know that! I know that- I ended up with nothing when it was all said and done. I was fine with not having Tashi, but-” he paused and pressed a hand to his temple for just a half-second. “You’re still so angry! It’s hard to believe you’ve grown past it when you’re still reminding me of one of the biggest mistakes I’ve made constantly.” 

You scoffed again, “I’m sorry you can’t deal with your own problems and the shit you put on me still haunts me. How is it you get to live it down and I don’t?” 

“I haven’t fucking lived it down.” 

“Pathetic.” 

“Fuck you. Honestly.” He said. “I made a mistake as a teenager, I don’t know how to go back and fix how I felt about you. I can’t take anything back so I don’t know what you want me to do here. Was I selfish? Yeah, I was. You’re right. Does that make you feel better about yourself? Do you feel like less of a victim now? I’m so sure of myself, yeah, okay, at least I haven’t tricked myself into believing I disliked how wrong it felt.”

You blinked hard and hit the elevator button again so it would begin to move once again. “You think I liked it?” 

“I think you did. I think some part of you hated Tashi and you liked the fact you could have me once more for good measure. I think that is what ‘haunts’ you. That you liked it.” He said. And the elevator doors opened to the empty main room of the suite. You stepped out the second you could, trying to get away from this so desperately. “I admit I’m selfish so you can admit that. Or at least try and admit it to yourself.” 

At those words, you tossed your purse on the couch and turned on your kitten heel. You walked right back up to him and pressed your pointer finger to his chest. “You are still so fucking self-absorbed that you think I liked being your side-chick or whatever the hell I was to you? You think so highly of yourself- you’re presenting yourself as a thing to be had between girls? Some trophy? A prize?”

“You weren’t so special either.” He lied. As if he didn’t like you, truly like you, more than he liked Tashi, unfortunately. His mistake was trying to balance things while he figured out how to tell you that he wanted you. Tashi loved tennis more than anything, she was mean and she was cold and she was hard to please but you in his bed, you were warm in more ways than one and you always listened and you weren’t all about tennis the way she was. And he liked you- genuinely liked you. But he went about it entirely wrong. He told you that you weren’t special but you were. You always were. He watched your eyebrows furrow at his words and more bitter things came out of his mouth, “And you said you couldn’t give a fuck what I thought of you.” 

“You’re not worth my time. Fuck you, Zweig. Fuck you and your self-obsession. Get a grip, get a life, and get over yourself.” You pressed your finger hard into his chest and let your hand fall to your side, eyes meeting his, the fire in your eyes reflecting in his own. “Fuck you. You’re an asshole.” The stare lingered before you shook your head, just disbelieving in this entire stupid conversation. It felt like talking in circles. Pointless. You’d never see his point and he would never see yours. He just looked at you like nothing you said meant anything and was only to provoke him when it wasn’t. He made it feel pointless. And you were fuming, so fucking angry. He matched that as well, his chest rising and falling with deep breaths. So you just turned and walked right into your hotel room, shutting the door behind you. 

What a fucking waste of time and breath, you thought. He wasn’t worth it. Any of it. You just breathed out, hearing his hotel room door shut next to yours. You pressed your hand to your forehead, letting out a second sigh as you thought about just how stupid he was, deflecting, avoiding. You were glad you were out of the heat of that moment. If you’d been out there any longer yelling at him who knows what you would have done? Or said. The number of times you’d said ‘fuck you’ were uncountable and you hated who he made you. You weren’t this person he made you- you were kind and sweet and gentle and patient but right now all you knew was this person he turned you into. He was just so disgusting and so self-centered and you couldn’t get past what he’d done and he never elaborated on what he meant by ‘I don’t know how to go back and fix how I felt about you’. Fuck, he just made you so fucking angry and it really was exhausting being around him. Dredging these things back up. Him and his fucking ego, really. 

You weren’t exactly sure just what you were going to say to him, the conversation felt final, but there had to be some reason you opened the door to your hotel room again. Took your back off of the door, turned again, buttons on the shirt still very open, and you opened the door by some possession of the mind and it was just coincidence that when you looked up, Patrick stared back at you, standing outside your door like he was about to knock. Your eyes met his and it was easy to see that there was still fire in his eyes the same as there was in your own. It was only a few seconds, maybe ten, maybe fifteen and he stood there and so did you, wordlessly. Silence, empty, just blinking and breathing and silence. Before the mutual crash of him stepping toward you, grabbing your face, and kissing you hard. You had met him in the middle just between your doorframe, and your hands immediately found themselves flat against his back, fingers curling around the fabric of his shirt. No other thoughts.

He kissed you like he meant it, with all of the hateful things that you had said still very much on the tongue that swiped past his own. And it was desperate, the way you kissed- hot, heavy, so passionate, too passionate. Your back was against the stretch of the wall just inside your room as he pressed you to it and him against you. The door shut beside you and it was a good thing. So much feeling, so much hate and so much time, so much weight in his kiss but it was as easy as breathing. 

He held your face between large hands that slowly slid down to your jaw, one of them down your neck, his body pressed so closely to yours that you thought maybe you’d start sinking through the wall against your back. His hand traveled downwards and you let it as his hand went around your neck, not pressing, not squeezing, just placement. It sent chills through your whole body though your bodies only radiated pure heat. Small sounds escaped both of your lips, small hums, as his hand slid down and over the exposed bra from your undone buttons. His hand cupped your chest, not too rough, but definitely without being gentle. None of this was gentle. 

You popped your knee out just a bit as he pressed himself against you so that when he did, he felt it. He groaned just a bit as you then took a step off the wall, pressing him to the wall opposite the small entrance to the hotel room. Still so desperate, still so in need, his hand still on your chest and one of your hands traveling to rest on his jaw while- as he began to take off your shirt- your other hand slid down his chest to break the waistband of his pants, just gently rimming it with your pinkie finger before undoing the button of his pants. His lips didn’t leave yours even as you slid your hand down into them. He was hard, he was so hard and in this desperation even you didn’t have the time to think. You didn’t want the time to think as your shirt was pulled over your head between the sound Patrick made into your mouth. 

All of this hatred just seeped out of your skin at a scalding temperature as you pressed yourself against him, your hand gripping him harder, he didn’t waste another second gaining back his leverage, kissing you as you walked over to your bed. He kicked off his pants and in seconds he was on you, really on you, over you. Climbing over you in your bra and little black skirt. Your hand left his boxers and you began to pull at his t-shirt, all of your actions desperate and wanting and his lips were on your neck, his hand resting at the base of it again, moving your hair aside. Gentle, but starving. His skin against yours, hands trailing all over your body, one of them deciding to drop down between your legs. With only a touch of his finger against the inner of your thigh, you opened them just a little so that very same finger could gently press against you where you needed it. This was too gentle, in a world that wasn’t gentle, so when you kissed Patrick harder he knew to cut the bullshit. You weren’t delicate, he didn’t need to act like it. He pulled your underwear to the side to gently rub circles into your clit and easily slipped his other finger inside of you, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from you. 

You hated how it was almost familiar, his pattern of heavy breathing and his fingers pumping inside of you with that careful curving middle finger hitting that perfect spot inside of you. You hated how it sent a flush over your whole body and made you feel almost euphoric like he was some sort of drug. His fingers curled inside of you, moving up and down as he went half in, half out, his thumb on your clit like it was the easiest thing and it probably was- he had good practice. You were moaning as quietly as you could, breathily against his skin before without warning, he cut that out too, just to pull your underwear down from inside the skirt and you kicked it off somewhere far away. His fingers went to resume his actions, but he wasn’t so lucky to go back to something so easy. 

With a swift rocking motion, you were able flip yourselves over so now you were on top of him. You pulled your hair to the side as you bent down to kiss him now, feeling his hard dick against you, still hidden by his boxers. You kissed him, still fast, still hot, still in need as you slowly rolled your hips against him, causing him to groan out into your mouth just the same way you just had when his fingers were inside of you. And in seconds he was getting rid of his boxers and his dick was standing, waiting. He was so hard, still so in need, he almost pushed you down onto it but you didn’t want to waste any time either, moving down just a bit while his hands began sliding down your bare waist, resting on your hips, his eyes meeting yours for what felt like the first time since you’d crashed against each other at the door. His mouth was just a little open, eyes on you like you were everything, and it felt like a pause but it was only half a second. 

He kissed you again, just as hungry, his lips meeting yours in such a sickeningly sweet way but it was all so fast, his tongue in your mouth in a way you had not forgotten. A kiss only broken by the moan that slipped between both of your lips as you sank down onto him. His fingertips dug into the flesh of your ass, pushing just gently as he filled you entirely. You hated that with all the men you’d been with since, none of them had ever filled you the way he did. And that hate was momentum enough to begin to move up and down, hips rocking with his guiding force. “Fuck…” he said through his heavy breathing as you rode him, moaning in response as the rocking turned to a slight bounce, his hips lifting to meet you halfway. 

It was so all-consuming, the feeling. Like some hot flush in your body every up and down was worthy of the extreme rush of the perfect feeling of him. Fucking yourself on him, his hands tight on your hips, pulling you up and down harder, faster, as your hair fell into your face time and time again. This desperate sex got more desperate as Patrick made a move to regain his control, flipping you onto your back without even pulling out. You grinned breathlessly as his hands moved back to your jaw to kiss you all the same, not letting up on how hard he kissed you while he began to fuck you harder than before. Your legs wrapped around his body and his arm propping him up rested just beside your head and you needed each other more than anything it was violent, the way his body met yours rapidly, perfectly. It was a mixture of breathing hard, whispers of ‘fuck’ and ‘god’ and skin and the moans you tried to suppress along with his own. 

Your eyes rolled back as he fucked you. It felt like nothing had ever compared, like nothing could even come close to this feeling. It felt like you were losing all sense of the world outside the bedroom, being fucked truly dumb and numb to any other part of this, not the morals, not your principles. Nothing else mattered aside from this violent show of passion. His hand now on your waist, yours around his neck and his eyes met yours again. 

Barely open, in this world of lust, he looked back at you through his eyelashes like none of this was happening. You couldn’t see fire in his eyes anymore. His eyes were more showing water, still, calm, despite his actions and despite it all. Things slowed. And he kissed you again, slower, as his thrusts continued with the same power and the same force. Your hands slid into his hair and there was nothing you wanted more in this moment than the kiss… Somehow ignoring the outside world for sex became ignoring the sex for the kiss. You wouldn’t breathe if you didn’t have to. “Mm- I’m so close, fuck,” he mumbled over your lips, mouth opening just a bit as he picked up the pace and your fingers closed in fists of his hair as a new wave of pleasure completely overtook all of your thinking. 

“Uh huh,” You nodded, using your hands to kiss him again, to keep him close to you as his thrusts got sloppy and more spaced but still hard as finished. His moans mixed with your own as he slowed to a stop. “Fuck…” You sighed heavily. It was over, it was over, it was over and you were a mess underneath him. Your makeup all fucked up, your hair ruffled, your body sticky from the sweat of it all. Nearly-naked, almost entirely, under Patrick, of all people. You would have to deal with the high and it’s comedown, its consequences. 

The consequence seemed to be not having anything witty or hateful to say to him as he moved to lay next to you, rubbing his face, obviously thinking this over the same way you were. You propped yourself up on your elbow and looked at him, really looked at him. And all he had for you was that stupid, arrogant grin. But it made you laugh. And for the first time in all of the times he had ever fucked you and left after dating back eight years- he reached over and pulled you into another kiss, silencing your giggle. A real kiss, hands staying put on your jaw, your hand gently pressed again his bare chest. The high was gone but the comedown was cushioned in a way you had never felt before. You couldn’t hate someone who kissed you this way with nobody waiting for him at home. Like pieces falling into place, after eight years, there was the first kiss with no intention of sex. 

You couldn’t hate how right it felt with nothing about it having to feel wrong. It was surprising, how different it felt. The consequence was that you liked it. 

And on the way home, your sister knew something had shifted. You sat closer to him than you ever allowed, he addressed you when he had something to say and it was just all too normal. There was another night at the motel where you’d ended up talking everything out with Patrick, finding out how he really felt about things without the need for argument. He confessed to just about everything before the night of conversation ended with you both a little bit too close. Your eyes met his in the glow of the motel pool you sat next to and before any other words were said, his hand slid around the back of your neck and he kissed you again. You didn’t have sex that night. But you ended up in his arms, your hair being tucked behind your ear, his fingers tracing patterns over your thigh. 

Your sister knew something was up for sure when you returned to the motel room around 4am, but she didn’t question it. The biggest tell was that you were your regular, sweet self again. That and you had stopped calling him Zweig. There wasn’t any need to dwell on the past, you’d both decided. He was forgiven over a few cups of coffee. And your past actions felt less like something haunting... more like a mistake from the end of your teenage years.

It truly was exhausting feeling so much and not letting it serve a true purpose, you both found. You began to recognize that not everything formed in the fires of lust stayed on fire forever. It was better to succumb to the still waters that his eyes reminded you of. You liked this rematch, it was one of the best games you'd ever played.

[sluttyenthusiast]

Revenge porn with Patrick

Okay walk with me here,

Just imagine that Patrick gets pretty famous in the world of tennis over the years and you catch his eye,

You're probably a pretty popular model or actress and Patrick has been to some of the same brand deal parties as you, and eventually he'll make a move on you.

You both become a hot, power couple, and go on to date for about a year or two.

You end up dumping Patrick because you were offered better deals and jobs and you felt as if he was holding you back.

He fucking hates you now, he hates you so much he is blinded by anger.

And it gets worse when he sees news headlines that launches your "new" relationship.

He wants you back so bad and he's so pissed, he just wants you to come back to him, to tell him you were wrong.

So out of pure spite and anger, he creates an anonymous twitter account and leaks the videos and pictures he's acquired and taken over the years.

He's fine with it because his face is not shown in one video he's taken of you, so his hands are clean.

As soon as he posts them, they blow up, and after a few hours you show up at his doorstep in tears, exclaiming that he must've been hacked and everything had been leaked.

He's there with open arms as you cry into his chest, broken sobs and gasps as you explain how it's gonna ruin your career.

[tastelikezweig]

FOR YOU, I WAS A FLAME

paring(s): patrick zweig x reader

if anything doesn’t seem logical, please ignore it. i did not edit this lol.

patrick and your relationship was a tale of two worlds. behind closed doors, patrick treated you with a reverence that bordered on adoration. in the sanctuary of your dorm, he held you delicately, kissed away your worries, and whispered promises that melted your heart. your nights were filled with intimate conversations and tender embraces, where the outside world faded into insignificance.

however, outside this private cocoon, patrick struggled. in public, his demeanor toward you shifted noticeably. during a casual lunch with art and tashi in the dining hall, you noticed patrick's distant behavior immediately. instead of the usual affectionate glances and hand-holding, patrick seemed aloof and detached. you tried to reach out, he recoiled, snatching his hand away with a sharpness that stung.

concerned and hurt, you couldn't ignore the stark contrast between patrick's public and private personas any longer. "patrick, is everything okay?" your voice wavered, eyes searching his face for a glimpse of the warmth you knew so well.

patrick's response was defensive, his discomfort palpable. "can we not do this here?" his words came out sharper than intended, drawing puzzled looks from your shared friends.

tashi's sharp intuition didn't miss the tension. "seriously, why are you being such an ass?" she muttered under her breath, shooting a sympathetic glance at you.

the tension at the table thickened as you excused yourself, your heart heavy with disappointment and confusion. patrick hesitated, torn between chasing after you and retreating into his own thoughts. his mind raced with apologies and explanations he couldn't voice, trapped by a fear he couldn't name.

patrick finally stood up to go after you. fortunately for him, you hadn’t gotten very far. jogging up behind you, he gripped at your fingers.

you gently pulled your hand from patrick's grasp, the hurt in your eyes barely concealed.

you locked eyes for a fleeting moment before words found their way between them.

“you have to choose: either you're fully with me, or we're done.” you said, your voice steady but tinged with vulnerability. wasting no time.

patrick swallowed hard, his gaze shifting from your face to the ground. he had recoiled from your touch moments ago in front of their friends, but now, alone with you, he felt the weight of your words pressing on him.

"don't do this to me," he pleaded softly, his voice betraying the turmoil inside him.

you remained silent, your eyes locked onto his, searching for the truth you needed to hear. time stretched between them, each second feeling like an eternity as you both stood on the precipice of a decision neither wanted to make.

"you have five seconds," you finally said, your voice tight with emotion.

patrick's heart pounded in his chest. he knew he had pushed you to this point with his indecision, his fear of commitment. now, faced with losing you, he had to decide.

a tear escaped your eye, a silent testament to the pain you were trying so hard to contain. you scoffed softly, nodding your head almost imperceptibly as you fought to keep your composure.

"okay," you said quietly, your voice breaking slightly as you turned away and walked back to your dorm room.

patrick watched you leave, a wave of regret crashing over him. he wanted to chase after you, to pull you into his arms and beg for forgiveness. but he remained rooted to the spot, grappling with his own fears and insecurities that had driven them to this moment.

days turned into weeks, and the silence between them deepened. patrick immersed himself in tennis and other distractions, trying to bury the ache in his chest. meanwhile, you leaned on tashi for support, trying to make sense of patrick's abrupt change.

months passed, and patrick heard occasional updates about you through art. regret gnawing at him, a constant reminder of what he had let slip away. he couldn't shake the memory of your trusting gaze, the weight of your ultimatum hanging in between.

your love story remained unfinished—a testament to the complexities of love and the wounds left by unspoken fears. patrick carried the lesson with him, hoping one day he would find the courage to confront his fears and love without reservations or regrets.

[dumbass-sappho-stan]

hit first and hit hard || challengers

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ꜰᴇᴀᴛᴜʀɪɴɢ: ᴀʀᴛ ᴅᴏɴᴀʟᴅꜱᴏɴ, ᴘᴀᴛʀɪᴄᴋ ᴢᴡᴇɪɢ, ᴛᴀꜱʜɪ ᴅᴜɴᴄᴀɴ

— fem! reader

summary: 𝘁𝘄𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗻𝗶𝘀 𝗴𝗶𝗿𝗹𝘀 𝘁𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘂𝗽𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝘄𝗼 𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗻𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗼𝘆𝘀, 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝘀 𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗵𝘆

𝘞𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵, 𝘪𝘯𝘫𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴/𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘥, 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘹𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥 𝘣𝘰𝘺𝘴

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛᴇ: ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʟɪᴛᴇʀᴀʟʟʏ ᴍʏ ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ꜱᴏ ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛ, ʟɪᴋᴇ, ᴏʀ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴʏ ᴄᴏɴꜱᴛʀᴜᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ ᴄʀɪᴛɪᴄɪꜱᴍ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ 3 ᴛᴏ 4 ᴘᴀʀᴛꜱ ᴅᴇᴘᴇɴᴅɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ʜᴏᴡ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪᴛ! ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ɪᴛ!

​🇼​​🇴​​🇷​​🇩​ ​🇨​​🇴​​🇺​​🇳​​🇹​: 7.9k

Part Two !!

𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙊𝙣𝙚: 𝙃𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧 𝙃𝙪𝙧𝙩𝙨

It seemed almost trivial when you'd joined your middle school's tennis team as a favor for a friend. She'd prompted you with positive words and affirmations that it'd "just be for the season" and "for fun". Tennis hadn't even crossed your mind only being mentioned for the celebrity players like Billie Jean King or Andre.... well, they weren't important enough for you to remember them. Or the championship with the silly name, "Wimbledon", at first when you'd learned of it you'd thought it was made up.

But it wasn't and you were set up for tennis during your middle school career. But to the shock of yourself and others—you were a fucking good player. You sailed across the court in "gym shoes" (which were really Converse) and baggy school-issued shorts. Being a twelve-year-old girl running around the court and playing fervently was surely tiring but you worked hard and long, strenuous hours.

Every time you'd trip over yourself trying to catch a ball on the other side of the court, you'd get up. You were determined to be good at something; tennis would be it. You didn't particularly know what fired you to work so hard, especially, at a sport you'd joined as a joke.

It seemed strange but lit a deep fire when you stepped on the concrete court, staring at your opponent standing opposite. The fire nipped at your fingertips when you picked up the heavy racquet and the neon atrocity that was the ball.

It made you feel powerful when you slammed, although not the best serve at first, the ball across the court in a serve that would ensue the rally and the pure enigma that followed—the breath of life that was tennis.

You'd worked pretty hard with your doubles partner, the friend who'd invited you, and you both had managed to snag your state female youth's championships doubles title for ages 12 to 14. To say you were pleased was an understatement, you were thrilled. You'd thrown yourself into the sport for the newfound love of it, and it got your parents off of your ass about joining stupid, fucking 'extracurriculars'.

The year after, you were put into the girl's circuit matches during the year and played throughout. Your intense training paid off so much that you'd shed the doubles-only path and managed to play singles. Somehow, by the chance of something holy, you managed to get to the USTA Girls 14s National Championships just before the start of your freshman year.

𝙎𝘼𝙉 𝘿𝙄𝙀𝙂𝙊, 𝘾𝘼𝙇𝙄𝙁𝙊𝙍𝙉𝙄𝘼, 2002

14 years old and deathly terrified, you waltzed to San Diego where you were sure you'd meet your fate (death), to lose to people you were convinced were so much better than you. Even though your love of tennis had thrived, you weren't dumb.

You weren't exactly the richest girl on the block, unlike most tennis players. Tennis, you'd learned that to be extraordinarily good or at least decent, with not a lot of raw talent, required lessons; lessons (the good, professional ones) cost a lot of money. You had benefitted from the fact that your school coach was very dedicated once she'd gauged your true love of the sport and soon forced you into a training routine that you dutifully followed.

But all of that didn't matter as you stepped into the stadium. All that mattered was the talent that you possessed, not the rich girls in their juicy couture, that you wished you could steal off of their bodies, their pristine Nike tennis shoes, or their stupidly expensive tennis outfits. You had yourself and your fabulous Wet Seal white skirt that you'd hand sewn so it looked pleated, sorta.

You walked around the stadium for a while, trying to find the locker room to place your stuff down before your match started. It was against some girl with the sorta name that reminded you of the state of Idaho with how forgetful it was. Nevertheless, you sauntered around the halls until you heard a loud, distracting clamor that came from behind you.

The sound of very loud overlapping voices clouded your mind as they all repeated the same name as if gospel:

𝙏𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙞 𝘿𝙪𝙣𝙘𝙖𝙣

You had turned your head slightly back to be met with a figure. A tall, beautiful girl entered your vision. And that was the beginning of the end for you.

She walked down the hallway with the entourage of players, adults, and coaches alike following around or behind her. Every step she took felt like the world shook around her, hair slicked back into a ponytail-braid, her outfit branded with some sports brand, and her face... A face that read of more conviction and drive than you'd ever seen in your short life.

You were still walking in an awkward position, head craned backward to gaze at the girl who was a few meters behind. She enraptured you, in more ways than one. It was strange how eye-catching she was, and she must've been popular too if she had everyone following her, or that was your thought process at least. Well you were thinking until from that stupid position you were in, you made eye contact with her.

Her deep eyes had met your own quickly, a flash of confusion on her face before it shifted back to its original stone confidence On the other hand, you had let out a small gasp of embarrassment (?) or some sort of flustered emotion, and scuttled along to the nearest door along the seemingly endless hall.

To your luck, it was the locker room, and even better it was emptier than a school library. Walking to the nearest bench you set your backpack down and let out a shutter, "Jesus Christ.."

You sighed and looked at yourself in the mirror, then began to change, and then you were ready. While you were lacing up your gym shoes, ACTUAL tennis shoes, your mind wandered to that girl again.

Tashi...it made your heart clench up and your palms sweat. Everything about today was beginning to make you panic, especially that girl, but you couldn't think about it much before your coach burst into the empty room. She hollered your name and her voice reverberated throughout the room— you blinked you were on the court and the stupid, forgettable girl stood on the other side of the 24 meters, doing whatever stupid, forgettable girls could do. You started your routine, blocking out anything that was deemed a distraction.

The match soon started, and everything seemed drowned out by you and the girl's grunts. The ball sailed across the net, again and again, but it seemed to be quite the easy game. The no-name girl couldn't backhand for her life and eventually, you caught her during the second set. The poor player simply couldn't take your, albeit shaky, jump serve and the ball barely skimmed the tip of her racquet.

You nearly felt bad for the girl, she looked so enraged when she lost. A forlorn battle cry left her lips, her racquet taking the brunt of the anger as it shattered. The girl's expression wrenched, she reminded you of a wounded animal being left for dead, or already on its way.

Bled out and begging.

Nevertheless, you bustled off the court and into the locker room, your coach had already congratulated you on your way out so you were stranded alone. The vibrant cobalt blue of the lockers almost blinded you upon entry but there were more pressing matters, there she was. "Good game," Tashi emitted, standing in the far back of the room. She looked less, terrifying than before... more human. A slight half-smirk or smile on her face flourished, it appeared almost natural.

"Oh! Thank you," You beamed, your smile widening at her praise, it'd felt like winning again. "It's my first time here so I was sorta hoping to win." A laugh escaped your lips awkwardly, slowly trotting over to where the other girl stood.

"I could tell, you looked as if you were about to like to shoot yourself or some shit," She chuckled drily, rummaging through her things while you stood there, like a statue. A very graceless statue.

"Yeah," You answered meekly with a laugh, though it sounded more like a squeak. You didn't know what about this girl made you sweat, you'd never heard of her, who the fuck was this bitch—Your stream of consciousness was soon cut off at the girl's gaze returning to you.

Tashi's expression had slightly toughened, but you chalked it up to being her opponent. She spoke once more, "Well, I got my game," She slung the huge bag over her shoulder and started on her way, before turning again to face you. "See ya..." She trailed off and awaited your name, giving you an expectant look.

Immediately you complied, sputtering out your name and watching the brunette's eyebrows raise in interest? Or that's what you assumed. Your name rolled off her tongue as she said it aloud, and then a second time to you, offering you that intense stare.

"Huh, well, see ya.." Then Tashi Duncan walked right out of the room. Something sparked in you as you saw the girl leave. You didn't know if it was loathing, admiration, or absolute fucking torment. Hell, to this day you don't know what it was. What you did know was that this girl was something; you wanted to be a part of that something. To be a part of her.

So you were.

𝙉𝙀𝙒 𝙔𝙊𝙍𝙆 𝘾𝙄𝙏𝙔, 𝙉𝙀𝙒 𝙔𝙊𝙍𝙆, 2006

𝘉𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘑𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘒𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘕𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘛𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘴 𝘊𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳

The sun beaded down on the courts on the day of the US Open. Unforgiving in its light as it scorched the earth's wide terrain, making sure anyone who left the house that day within the sun's climax would surely get a foul burn. But it didn't matter, everyone was there on the day of the US Open. The fourth and final title any tennis player would need to get a Grand Slam and it all took place in the 'Greatest City' in the world as some say.

New (fucking) York.

You'd finally made it, US Open. It was juniors, sure, but the US Open itself felt like a badge of honor. Being here, aged 17, was everything you worked for the past five years. You felt like it was your birthday, Christmas, and waking up to see the goddamn tooth fairy all in one day. You'd walked past your opponent upon entering the court. Something you'd mastered within the past years was the benefit of the poker face. You set down your bulky bag on your side of the court, got your racquet out, and stretched. Your mind went silent as everything was called to a hush.

There was no coin flip, everyone knew who was serving first. But the question was, who would win?

Tashi had always been the better of the both of you.

You both stood, at opposing ends of the court, staring at each other awaiting the next move. Tashi gripped the ball like a vice and gazed at you. It honestly made you feel naked but you didn't show. There was no place in your world right now to fuck this game up. THWACK THWACK THWACK

The ball took its beating as it wafted from end to end on the green concrete. The loud sounds of grunts and cries intermingled, the sheer forces converging.

When playing with Tashi it almost felt as if you were one. Just as you knew what move she would make, she'd predict yours. You gave her your backhand, and she yielded a forehand. Play after play, you both gave a fight worth seeing. At this point it became a game of endurance, to see who could persist under each other's brutal grasp.

If it was a game of who wanted it badly enough Tashi would've won every single time. But a game of spite? That's something you couldn't afford to lose.

It was the last game. Tashi had won the first one, and you had won the second after managing a dive for a ball for a drop shot, subsequently, skinning practically half the skin off your right knee. But it was all worth it. The third game started with the serve and then you played like hell. Your body was not yours in that moment, it was the games. Your legs pounded into the concrete as they sidestepped, swerving and twisting your body to keep up with the rally. It felt as if the rally had gone on forever. You just needed to tie the set and you'd have the advantage.

You could tell Tashi was starting to break, she looked undoubtedly tired but wouldn't let up. The last hit she gave, a loud THWACK was sent across the court and you plunged to get the ball, it barely touched your racquet... The stands erupted in applause for Tashi as an expression of euphoria broke out upon your opponent's features. She won. "COME ON!" A loud battle cry ripped through her as her tennis racquet tumbled to the ground and a smile broke out on her features. A grin had even broken upon yours, watching your best friend win

Rather than shaking hands as typical at the end of a game, you ran to the net, leaped over it, and enveloped her in an air-tight hug. It was returned with the same amount of vehemence, and a peck to the apple of your cheek.

You wanted to slightly cry or maybe even frown at the aspect of losing but you couldn't. Tashi's win was your win, right?

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It's getting hot in here

So take off all your clothes

I am getting so hot...

The music hovered through the air as you and Tashi danced along the dance floor. The party on Long Island seemed a bit daunting to you, going to a social event right after a grueling day full of a tournament in the sweltering sun. But you sucked it up, put on your fetching little dress with high heels, and danced your heart out next to your best friend.

The dresses swung around in tandem while Nelly blasted through the speakers, you laughed with her hooking hands together, spinning throughout the floor.

While dancing you saw the chick Tashi had played before the final, she was sobbing to her parents, looking distraught. "God would you see that chick," You muttered to Tashi's ear, a small smirk forming.

She looked back at the girl, eyebrows raised and a surprised smile. Tashi spoke your name, "I never took you for a bitch," feigning a scold to you, and held your gaze, before busting out in a laugh.

You followed suit, giggling as well. The Russian girl had cursed Tashi out at the end of their match, needless to say, she wasn't the friendliest girl.

"Karma's a bitch, Tash!" A laugh slipped out of your mouth as you practically leaned on Tashi, keeping up dance in between you two. She looked down at you, smiling at your answer with that signature Tashi Duncan grin. Not exactly a smirk, but not an earnest smile.

You returned it, getting lost in her deep brown eyes for a moment, it felt as if on the floor it was just you two. You and Tashi dancing, you didn't know, and maybe would never know, that Tashi knew how you looked at her at that moment. She merely just didn't care.

However, your moment was interrupted by her words;

"Come on, I'm thirsty," She announced, still giving you that impish smile. You only nodded, your wrist was soon snatched up by your friend and promptly yanked off the dance floor. You followed Tashi, finding a cooler nearby, she snatched up two drinks and then led you onto some chairs.

Tashi down first, sipping whatever fruity nonalcoholic drink and you sat on the arm of the chair, of course. You sipped your own drink and stared out in the crowd, but something, no, some guys entered your peripheral vision— they were walking straight toward you. At first, all you could get from the figures was that one was blonde and the other brunette. Upon further inspection, they were the two doubles players, Fire and Ice.

This caused you to nudge your friend with your leg but they'd already appeared.

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By some form of charm and fascination, you found yourself on the beach, smoking a cigarette and captivated by two young men. You came to find that their names were Art Donaldson and Patrick Zweig and that they were undoubtedly head over heels. You had a sneaking suspicion they were already members of the Tashi Duncan Fan Club just based on their awestruck faces.

You sat on the rock next to your friend, legs crossed and head turned toward her before shifting to the ocean. A little smile had been laid on your features since meeting with them. They were so.. appealing. If that was a word to describe them. When asked earlier by Tashi, "Who was fire and who was ice?" There was no straight answer so you made one up yourself. "Y'know, I think I've figured you two out." You declared, turning your gaze to them. They both tore their gaze away from Tashi to you.

"What have you figured out?" Patrick inquired playfully, raising his brows unanimously.

"You're fire," You pointed directly at the brunette, "And you're ice." Then pointing to the blonde, a smug smile replaced the other as you took a puff of the cigarette. "Am I wrong?" Art chuckled at the assumption and shrugged, "I don't know is she, Patrick?" He asked his friend, matching your 'matter-of-fact' tone.

Patrick stared at you for a moment, his eyes sized you up, almost the way Tashi did. Confident, all-knowing. From the tips of your heels to the hilt of where your dress dipped into your chest, all the way up to meet your fierce eyes. He readjusted himself in his chair.

"That's up to you, Art." He replied, never breaking the eye contact. This time, Art didn't respond to anyone and only chuckled at the stupidity of the conversation. Though this didn't satiate you, before you could reply with another quip, your phone buzzed.

This caused your face to change as you whisked your shiny light pink Motorola Razr out of the strap of your heel to see who would be calling you—Your mother. "Damnit," You huffed, screening the call and clutching the phone. "Tash, it's my time to go." You started to stand up from the rock, as Tashi turned her head to gaze up at you.

"Your Mom?" "Yeah, who the fuck else." You muttered in annoyance, brushing off the sand that stuck to your leg. Tashi sent you a sympathetic look but she already knew this routine, it wasn't any new to her that your mom would want you back home. Especially, if she knew you were out with random boys.

"Hey, I gotta go, my mom's calling me." You announced to the rest of the company with an awkward grin and some weird hand motion where you limply pointed past them. "Aw really," Patrick whined playfully, "We'll miss you so much," He took a sip of his Coke with a smirk. "Do you really have to go?"

Art joined in, "Yeah, are we that terrible?" He asked teasingly, his lips upturning into a grin that mirrored his friend.

A slight flush had flitted across your face, the awkwardness replaced with a sense of sheepishness. Your reply died on the tip of your tongue as a familiar hug enraptured you from behind. "Oh don't scare her, she's shy. Aren't you?" Tashi jested, giving the boys a flippant glare, her head leaning on the crook of your neck.

You scoffed lightly and rolled your eyes, "No, just tired." A small huff left your lips as you leaned back into your friend's grasp, before turning around and hugging her back tightly. You loved your best friend deeply, she'd chosen you from the start and you still were in awe.

Pulling away from the hug, Tashi kissed the apple of your cheek as always and you grinned.

"Bye Tash," You chirped, finally leaving the sandy rock and onto the beach, passing by the boys before you were stopped by their silly farewells.

"Rude, no goodbye?" Patrick shouted, incredulously with a grin.

Art called out your name, "Bye, I'll see you at Stanford!"

You let out a small giggle to yourself as you skipped off back to your hotel. The boys stared at your figure as it got smaller and smaller, away in the distance.

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Later that night, while lounging in your room, watching stupid mindless late-night television there was a knock at your door. Perplexed, you walked over to the door and opened it to reveal your best friend.

"Tashi?" You asked tiredly, "What the hell are you doing here?" Your eyebrows drew together at her devious smirk, the way she looked at you made you think she was about to tell you something you really weren't gonna like.

"Well, you remember those two boys?" She inquired with her Cheshire smile, and you nodded slowly. "They want us to go to their room!" Tashi squealed, grabbing you by the shoulders happily.

Your expression shifted to one of confusion, "You mean they want you," You corrected with a thin, wiry smile.

Tashi scoffed, "No, they said 'Bring your hot friend too', " She moved her hands from your shoulders to connect with your own. "Please? It'll be fun I swear! They have beer!"

"Tash, I don't know about this," You pouted, trying to appeal that you didn't want to go, "Maybe we should think about this, I mean-" You were unfortunately cut off by her hauling you out of your room by your wrists.

"No, we're going, it'll be fun," Tashi stated with vitality as if it were fact rather than opinion. She pulled you through the corridors of the hotel, which conveniently, you learned, the boys were staying in the same one.

It seemed never-ending, the red and green carpeting looked dirty, and looking at the skeevy carpet did not help the unsettling feeling you had in your stomach. It just didn't make sense that they both wanted you there or maybe the idea of being desirable by guys that hot threw you off a bit.

"Tashi, please promise me that I'm not just being brought along so one guy doesn't hide in that bathroom while you fuck the other?" You look at her desperately, trying to search for an answer that registers in your brain. Tashi only ignored your question by giving you an expression that read, 'Shut up, you'll be fine'.

You've gotten that look throughout your friendship but it felt more militant now. So, you did shut up and kept on walking until eventually the red-carpeted trail ended at room 206, that was when Tashi released you from her iron grip and you two stood at the door.

The sound of the knock echoed throughout the empty hotel halls. There was silence and no one opened the door. The second time you knocked, more like pounded, but a knock nonetheless. Rustling and hushed voices were heard on the other side of the door, causing you and Tashi to both giggle a bit to yourself before the door was opened.

"Hi,"

"Hey,"

They welcomed you into the room, though they both looked reddened and disheveled. The room smelled like cigarettes and looked sloppy as fuck, but what would you expect from two teenage boys?

You and Tashi both took seats on the carpeted floor, and you brought your legs to a criss-crossed position while the boys took the spots across from you two.

"So, did you take like Mommy and me classes together or what?" Tashi asked teasingly, earning chuckles from around the circle. "You guys just seem like brothers."

Art laughed, "Well that's what the Mark Rebellato Tennis Academy will do for you," A laugh simmered once more and you quirked your eyebrow.

"Shit, you guys went to boarding school for tennis?" A curious grin blossomed across your face, "I didn't know they had actually had those."

Patrick nodded his head, "Yep, I've been bunkmates with him," he pointed a finger toward Art, "Since we were 12."

You bobbed your head, "That makes sense," The beer can was finally passed to you and you took a sip. "You both definitely have a gayness to you."

Tashi laughed at your words as the boy's faces dropped, not expecting those words to spill from you. It was deathly silent other than you and Tashi's giggling.

"Well, are you?" Tashi asked between laughs, earning another loud laugh from the two of you at Patrick's smirk and Art's panicked spluttering to defend himself and his friend.

"No, we're NOT gay," He corrected with a nervous smile, "Just because people go to boarding school doesn't mean they're gay. It wasn't even all boys, there were girls too." Art seemed pleased with his own explanation but that didn't stop the onslaught of giggles between you and your friend.

"Okay, sure," You snorted, taking another sip of the beer before it was snatched out your of grasp by Patrick. You shot him a playful glare to only be met with one back.

"Though, does this happen often?" Tashi questioned the boys with a flirtatious gaze, "You bring back two girls to your room?" "Or do you usually..?" The words died on the tip of your tongue as you finished the sentence, giving them an expectant expression. A few seconds passed by with no one speaking until...

"Well..." Patrick started, making you and Tashi wheeze in amusement as Art immediately cut him off.

"No."

That was the beginning of the tale of how Patrick taught Art to jerk off. Though you didn't find the conversation all that interesting, hearing about juvenile masturbation wasn't the topic you wanted to listen to. So, you began to space out until the question was turned on the both of you.

"What about you two?" Patrick asked sleazily, a permanent smirk written on his face. "Ever get lonely so you both..." The sentence hung in the air as you and Tashi glanced at each other. You didn't want to answer that question as that was truthfully some personal information that may or may not be true; luckily, Tashi was better at these things.

"That's for us to know and for y'all to find out," She passed the beer to you and you graciously took it from her hands. You resolved to be a bit of an asshole and finish the beer.

"We're out of beer," You put the can down on the carpet and looked at the rest of them, smiling thinly. Internally you were hoping this meant going back to your hotel room and returning to watching infomercials, but unfortunately, that's not what happened. What happened is something that truly signals the beginning of the intertwining between you and these individuals.

Tashi stood up first, her gaze as heavy as lead as she looked down upon the rest of you. The mood of the room had unmistakably shifted into one you weren't sure of, she sauntered to the bed and sat down on it. Her eyes settled on you first as she used her finger to signal you to the bed. You stood up and followed her command senselessly, not knowing what exactly was going to occur.

The two boys had watched the interaction intensely, you hadn't noticed but Tashi did. She always did. Her eyes darted to the boys and then you and a mischievous glint highlighted in her eyes.

She grabbed you by the cheek and stared strongly into your eyes. Your already skittish smile turned to one of confusion as you were confused about what exactly your friend was planning.

Tashi leaned really close to your ear and whispered, "Let's give them the show of their fucking lives," and so you did.

Her lips crashed to yours and before you knew it you were making out with Tashi Duncan. One of her hands had slipped from your face to your ass, and she seized it causing you to exclaim slightly into the kiss but nothing to stop you from it. The intense kissing and touching went on for a while, and her soft hands slid on your exposed thighs as your own hands stayed stationary on her own cheek and waist.

Tashi had pulled away first, her lips pouted from the kissing, to look at you with that same bold gaze but it soon left you in favor of the people who were still on the floor. Your eyes followed her gaze until it landed on them as well; they looked absolutely hungry.

The way they both looked at you reminded you of ravenous lions hunting their prey in the wild. Your hand clutched at Tashi's hair when your mind came to the revelation that the way the boys stared at you made your body feel hot. Hotter than it already was from your make-out session with Tashi.

"Well, are you gonna sit there and watch or join us?" In a flash, the boys clumsily ran to the bed, Art on yours, Patrick on hers. As soon as Art could even lay his eyes on you, his hands and lips followed. Hot kisses were laid on your jugular, but it didn't feel too lascivious, it felt pristine. His touch was soft and once he had dipped his head all the way to your sternum (thank god you had won a tank top), he pulled it away and laid his lips onto yours.

Art's lips were soft and moved rhythmically against yours, you kept up fine and collected his downy blonde curls in your hands. You managed to obtain dominance in the kiss, legs slipping together and locking in with his, your body soon taking precedence over him. His hands moved up and down the small of your back, subtle sounds emitting from his lips that one could classify as moans. It made you feel hotter inside, a deep pool of something warm had clouded your entire bloodstream, only fueled by every movement from the boy who so desperately kissed you. It felt nice to be wanted.

With the eagerness of your own fling you'd forgotten there was an opposite party within your midst, and they were getting it on in the same manner. But what you didn't expect was for Tashi, over the lewd noises, to say anything during the liaisons.

"Okay, switch."

Soon after you removed yourself from Art, begrudgingly, and were snatched up by Patrick. Patrick proved to be the rougher lover, skipping the foreplay and immediately rushing into raw, teeth-clashing kisses that shook you to your core. His hands felt like hot wax over your body as he palmed your breasts and the other slipped into your shorts and onto the smooth skin of your ass, delightfully exemplified by the shortness of them. His kisses were desperate and borderline depraved, you'd never been kissed so passionately before you practically didn't know what to do. Yet you'd let him take the lead after a while, his hand had slipped up from your ass to beneath your shirt, toying with the back of your bra.

Unfortunately for Patrick, the moment was cut abruptly by Tashi, with her ever-persisting smirk, pulled away from Art and nudged him toward you and Patrick, seeing what would transpire. The blonde had slid toward your left and started attacking an open space left at the arc of your neck, leading the brunette to sway to your right side of your neck.

Your whole body felt like it was ablaze, the touch of them both was overwhelming, and the skin-on-skin contact from both boys discerned a deep feeling being dug from you. Your eyes had been wired shut since your switch over to Patrick; they fluttered open for a wink to see one of the most erotic scenes that wouldn't even be found in the chasms of your mind.

Tashi stood a few feet away drinking in the sight with an unreadable but smirking expression. You couldn't tell if she loved the sight because it turned her on, or if she loved that she had this much control over the three of you. Faces and bodies tangled and lips slowly traveled up to your earlobes, and your eyes shut once more as the sensation of the boy's lips traveled to your own within their trail. However, you soon pulled away as the sensation of two people kissing you at once wasn't really a turn-on.

Regardless, by the power of your two open hands, you pushed their heads together as they soon mindlessly locked lips, hands leaving you and they pawed at each other. Leaning back, you watched the scene unfold with ardent interest. This was almost as hot as experiencing it, you suspected as your own smirk spread across your features.

Their kissing continued for a while, you and your best friend watching the boys thoroughly lock lips. But, the moment was not to last, Tashi stepped over and took your wrist, drawing you away from the sinful scene and back into reality.

"Okay, we're done," Tashi announced, a quaint smile on her face while you appeared positively confused and flushed, "It's been nice."

The boys stopped their kissing shortly after to give you both a baffled expression. They both glanced among the two of you, their eyebrows drawn in a line as they tried to configure what the fuck just happened. Patrick always assumed, to this day, that Tashi was just jealous of not being the 'center of attention'. Art, on the other hand, found Tashi to be envious but not about what Patrick presumed about.

"But what about your numbers?" Art asked, sitting up and looking very alarmed. Patrick assumed the same position and expression, they almost looked like twins, if it weren't that they were distinguishable in every way possible.

Tashi paused for a moment, she looked to be in deep thought to the naked eye, but you knew her—she'd planned this. "Well, you'll play for them of course," The words rolled right off her tongue, a glint of something unreadable in her eyes. Expressionless, you turned your gaze back to the boys as they looked stunned.

Tashi looked at you to continue, "Oh, uhm...Yeah, may the best player win.." Your cheeks started to burn once more from the mortification from whatever this tryst was finally setting into your brain. The other girl seemed pleased with your answer and toted you along to the door.

She opened it partly, looking them over with that stare, before saying, "We wanna see some good fucking tennis."

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𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙉𝘿𝙁𝙊𝙍𝘿, 𝘾𝘼𝙇𝙄𝙁𝙊𝙍𝙉𝙄𝘼, 2007

𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘜𝘯𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘺

Hunger hurts

But I want him so bad

Oh, it kills...

Fiona Apple spilled from the shitty iPod you'd set up in a glass cup as a speaker, working on whatever homework was given to you in your classes. Outside of hitting a ball with a stick, you would like some life skills, so... well your major was something you could worry about later. All that mattered now was two things; Tennis and your friends.

Surprisingly, you weren't a complete social reject and you did have friends outside of Tashi and Art, but they weren't actually welcomed. Tashi could fake many things but fake friendliness? She couldn't bring herself to that low level.

Speak of the devil, Tashi waltzed into your room, clad in athleisure. "God why are you listening to wrist-slitting music," She inquired humorously, an impish smile playing on her face, "Lighten the fuck up, this is California."

"What the fuck do people listen to in California?" The slam of your textbook echoed in the small room while Tashi sauntered to your bed. You leaned back and soon your head was in between her knees and you looked up to her.

"I don't know Pitbull?" Her finger flicked at your nose and you flinched, groaning in the process. "Really?" You asked warily, finally standing up with a crack to the back, "That's news to me..."

The girl giggled at your fatigue and let out a sigh, "You're so lame," Rolling your eyes in response you sighed yourself and trained your vision on her. "So, what's up? Why'd you come from your 'precious time with Patrick', " You mocked, "To see me?"

Tashi scoffed, "You're so damn dramatic," She uttered your name with gusto, moving to make space as you dropped onto the bed. The silence was comfortable, the two of you laying there and staring at the popcorn dorm ceiling.

"I think Patrick is in love with someone else."

Sitting up on the bed, your eyes shot down to Tashi's face. Her expression wasn't even of sadness, anger, or anything you could gage as negative. She just looked bored. "What do you mean, 'in love' with someone else?"

She shrugged and looked away from you, "That's just what Art told me the other day after practice," The bed shifted as she turned her whole body to face you. "He mentioned something about Patrick just wanting this to be a sort of fling, or that he wasn't 'committed' enough for me."

A small scoff left your lips, and a skeptical look passed over your features. "How could Patrick not be in love or committed? It's you, Tashi, he's not gonna do any better." You proclaimed affectionately, trying to present a sense of hope for your friend but you knew the dramatic irony of all of this.

Tashi took in your words with a thin smile and nodded, then yawned. "I don't truly care, you know that," Your name fell from her lips, "I just want to rest now if that's fine with you." A reply didn't come from you as you watched her slowly descend into an unprompted nap.

The music still played softly through the room while you were left alone with your thoughts. You knew two things now; One, Art Donaldson was a shady bitch. Two, now he had made it your problem and you were keen on solving it.

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"Art!" The echo of your voice thundered across the Stanford Tennis Courts, provoking the boy to look your way. You stormed into the court with a dynamic expression and at first Art had waved to you with a grin on his features but soon gauged that you looked like you were about to bash his head in.

The distance between you two lessened and lessened, quick strides made til you were feet apart. "Art Donaldson, what the fuck do you think you're doing?!"

"Playing... Tennis?" He replied in bewilderment, a gesture to the empty court was made with his racquet that was still in hand. "What's up?" He seemed genuinely confused, which only fueled the wrath you held.

"No, Art, you're not playing fucking tennis, you're playing damn mind games!" Spitefully, you slapped the racquet out of his hand and maintained his gaze. A gloss of paleness overrun Art and his confused expression shifted to one of bitterness.

"Listen, whatever you've heard about-"

You cut him off, "No, what I've heard about is that you're spewing bullshit to both of my friends and I don't fucking like it." Art scoffed and rolled his eyes at your statement, "What bullshit is that?" He challenged, crossing his arms over his chest.

"That Tashi doesn't love Patrick and Patrick doesn't love Tashi," You replied with vigor, narrowing your eyes at his aloofness about your remarks. The blonde gave you a thin smile, "And?"

It took a great amount of restraint to not punch his face in as being an asshole is something you'd never taken Art for. "And? What do you mean and?" You paused for a beat to see if he'd respond, it stayed quiet. "You're fucking up both of our friend's love lives," You continued, "That's, oh I don't know? Wrong?"

He had looked like he was listening but still said nothing to you. "Well? Have you anything to say for yourself? About your actions?" This did cause Art to let out a long sigh and meet your eyes.

"I mean, what do you want me to do?" He asked you tiredly, "Watch my best friend basically leave the girl of my dreams for weeks at a time, to come back for only 5 seconds to then leave again?"

It struck a despairing chord within you when he uttered the phrase 'girl of my dreams' but tried to not let it phase you. It wasn't about you, it never was, it was about Tashi.

"Yes, Art! That's exactly what I want you to do," You groaned with annoyance at his selfishness, it amazed you how selfish this boy was. "You're supposed to push your feelings aside for your friends, Art," Admonishing him finally seemed to make him look even smaller in front of you as his shoulders slightly sagged.

He looked up at you for a beat, with those sad teardrop-blue, puppy dog eyes begging for pity. You almost gave in like last time, quarreling and then awakening up to find yourself in his bed the next morning, but it wouldn't be like last time. You were soft back then, you had to stand on business.

When you didn't budge he looked even sadder if that was possible but you kept your gaze on him, "I know it's hard to think of what would've happened if you'd won that match. At this point ask for a rematch if you're this desperate," You grumbled, but this caused Art to perk up a bit with, finally, a passionate look in his eyes to match yours.

"Oh, shut up," Art snarled, "You're so fucking hypocritical as if no one sees the way you look at Patrick. Or the way Patrick looks at you," A nervous flush soon reddened your face, you couldn't deny he was right.

There were flirtations here and there from Patrick but that was just his natural manner, or that's at least what you told yourself. It was normal that he'd walked onto you changing one too many times, or commented on every single fling you'd had since meeting you, or how... You stopped listing the reasons that his actions were 'normal' in your head as you were met with Art's harsh gaze. Which was quite frankly terrifying to be under.

So, you broke first and in one swift motion your hand was on his face and your lips crashed onto his.

Safe to say there was no more discussion.

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Waking up in Art Donaldson's bed is not one of your proudest accomplishments. It's transpired too many times for you to count but every time it happens you feel a little shred of your self-respect wither away. His body was partly laid on top of you and his head was buried in the valley of your chest. You observed how peaceful he looked as he slept, blonde curls tousled and messed up from the night before and pink lips perfectly pouted.

Everything seemed peaceful in these moments, it was even better than the pillow talk Art always seemed to have while you were attempting to get your sleep. Though in your mind everything was but peaceful. You couldn't seem to shake the ache of what Art had said the day before.

The girl of his dreams, eugh, it made you want to crucify yourself on a burning cross. You always knew the two boys were wrapped around Tashi's finger but you had convinced yourself you fit in somewhere right? That you were liked by Art? I mean he had to, you'd been both fucking for about a year since you'd gotten to Stanford! He'd always gotten jealous when you had other men around, he had to love you just as much...or at least a little? You were a person who existed outside the realm of Tashi's Tennis world... Right?

Clenching your eyes shut you let out a shuttering breath before reconnecting back to reality. You had to get out of this damn dorm room. You tried to slip out of the bigger boy's grasp upon you but it worked to no avail. He only whined and pulled you closer.

"5 more minutes," Art muttered and buried his face further into the skin. Sighing you drove him off of you harshly, leaping out of the bed and starting the search for your previously discarded clothes. This action caused an even louder whine from the male as he finally awoke from his tranquil slumber to observe you. He pouted at the sight of you leaving.

"Do you really have to go?" Art asked as if the events of yesterday had never happened, "I know your schedule you don't have any classes today." Throwing on whatever clean shirt of Art's that was available you didn't respond to him, too busy with your own thoughts. The lack of an answer only made the blonde pout more and he sighed dejectedly.

"You know I love you right?"

The blood ran cold in your veins, "Excuse me?" Your head whipped toward the bed-bound boy, an indecipherable expression on your face. This compelled Art to smile, taking this as a sign of you being shocked that he could love you, that this was the shock of happiness. Oh, how the blonde was so wrong.

"I love you," He said your name tentatively, every syllable dripping from his lips like sweet honey, "I've loved you since that day at the beach."

Tears threatened to spill from your eyes as you felt yourself consumed by an indescribable misery from inside. What sick joke was he playing on you? Lamenting on the lack of Tashi's love to express his to you? He was definitely playing with you.

"I... I don't know what the fuck you're playing at Art," Your voice trembled with rage, "But it has to stop right now." Art's once joyful expression shifted to one of confusion, something he seemed to love to do these days.

"What?" He asked, "I'm not playing at anything, I love you?" It sounded like a phrased question that caused you to scoff. You snatched up your shoes from the door and angrily put them on, ignoring the way he had started to call your name.

"No, the fuck you don't Art!" You shouted, silencing the boy in front of you, "You think you're always fucking winning and that you're the good one! That you're not fucking around with other people because no one would ever expect that of you!" Your voice quivered under the overwhelming amount of emotion you felt.

"God, I feel like I'm fucking shadowboxing here, you drive me fucking crazy." The tears felt cleansing against your dried face, "I can't keep playing this game anymore, Art. You're too much."

The room went noiseless for a beat, when you finally turned your teary eyes to Art he looked speechless. It stayed like that for a few minutes, the both of you staring at one another. His mouth finally opened:

"Are we talking about Tennis?"

The door slammed on your departure from Art Donaldson's dorm and you didn't see yourself coming back anytime soon.

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Part 2 is here! Please read it!

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