#it's amazing and i hope lots of kids get to see this and relate to nimona and all the emotions that nate stevenson put into her

[ilovedthestars]

my thoughts on the nimona movie (no spoilers)

I literally just finished watching the nimona movie. It is SO good. I liked the graphic novel and the trailers looked incredibly promising and it absolutely lived up to my expectations. It is so queer, and so trans, and knowing that ND Stevenson wrote Nimona years before coming out gave me a lot of emotions about the way this was realized on screen. I don’t know how much he was involved in the adaptation, but it’s absolutely something he should be proud of.

I wondered how Nimona would work as a movie, knowing that Hollywood is sometimes bad about book adaptations. But the trailers gave me the impression that they were changing some things but keeping the spirit of the graphic novel alive, and after seeing the movie I think that’s 100% true. They mixed things up quite a bit—there are a few scenes that are straight out of the graphic novel, but most of the events of the plot were new or reworked in a different way from the original. But the original themes underlying Nimona are not only still there, they’re made even more big and bold and obvious by the changes.

And let’s talk about the animation for a second!! Nimona might not quite be as flashy as spiderverse, but the animators were absolutely still doing groundbreaking things with the animation. It’s 3D animated, but rendered in a way that’s designed to look more like 2D animation. Instead of hyperrealism they went for stylization, but still with the super dynamic motion of 3D models. This article [https://mashable.com/article/nimona-animation-style] talks a little bit about the artistic choices that went into it, and how they were going for the vibe of "graphic novel come to life." (I still have no idea how they pulled off cel shading on 3D models, but I’m so impressed.) The lighting in particular stood out to me as very cool, and the transitions when Nimona shape shifts were absolutely seamless. The whole movie just looked incredibly cool.

Speaking of the artistic skill that went into this film, two of the three main characters (Ballister and Ambrosius) were drawn as white in the graphic novel, and were changed to people of color in the movie, with such skill that when I went back to reread the original to prepare for the movie I had a genuine moment of “wait, they were white?” Their character designs were adapted so perfectly as to be instantly recognizable, while also fitting their style into the updated aesthetic of the movie. (Which has a super cool medieval/futuristic thing going on, expanded from what we see in the graphic novel.) Nimona is also, I cannot overstate, so perfectly Nimona. It’s clear that a lot of effort went into capturing the essence of ND Stevenson’s drawings.

The plot of the movie was not anything particularly new—“maybe the monsters aren’t monsters after all” is an oldie but a goodie—but it was done very well. Even though I’d just reread the graphic novel, there were enough changes that there were plenty of surprises. Also, did I mention how funny it is? There are so many hilarious lines & visual gags that don’t veer into the awkward place that animated movies aimed at a young audience sometimes land. And again, I cannot emphasize enough that it is even more explicitly queer than original, and they leaned into the trans vibes of Nimona very hard. Props to Stevenson and everyone else who worked on this movie.

[tvrningout-a]

rin is so annoying in the funniest way and i won’t rest until she’s messed with all of your muses : )

[avis-writeshq]

04 — you are in love

summary: “you can hear it in the silence.”/”you can hear it on the way home.”/”you can see it with the lights out.” in other words; the four times spencer wants to kiss you, and the one time he wishes he did. pairing: spencer reid x bau!fem!reader genre: best friends to lovers, mutual pining, fluff, slow burn,  warnings: drug mention, alcohol (reader gets a little tipsy), vomit (not in detail) wc: 3.4k a/n: thank you again to the wonderful amazing @astrophileous for beta-reading MWAH zara you're a real one <3 SPARKS FLY MASTERLIST // MAIN MASTERLIST

Falling in love is something that Spencer thought he would never get the luxury of doing. It’s a fairytale. After all, his parents were supposed to be a perfect example of what love should be like and look how they ended up. Yet despite it all, he always seems to find himself going back to you. You, who makes it so easy to love but he doesn’t deserve it. He refuses to believe he deserves it. He feels so horribly broken that it doesn’t make sense why you would love him, or why he deserves to love you. 

It takes Spencer another three months to actually properly come to terms with the fact that he’s in love with you. He’s spent most of his free time attending Narcotic Anonymous groups upon your insistence and he hates to admit that it helps. He didn’t think they would at first, despite the swirling statistics of their effectiveness but he figures that it wouldn’t hurt. The other times when he’s not doing something drug related, therapy related or work related, he’s with you. Your apartment is almost like a second home to him and you’d given him your spare key (he went home with a ridiculous grin on his face and had to chug several cups of water to calm himself down). 

Since your leaving the BAU, he’s left a series of trinkets on his desk that remind him of you. A little ceramic blue bird beside the animal skull models. It’s no bigger than his pinky finger and when he asked you why you gifted it to him, you told him that it represents hope and renewal. He thinks he needs a lot of that.

In the first drawer of his desk is a framed picture of you and him at a Doctor Who convention with him dressed up as the Tenth Doctor and you in all blue in an attempt to dress up as TARDIS. It was a fun and silly day but it was enjoyable and that was what mattered. After a series of unfortunate events, Derek happened across the photo, claiming that there was no platonic explanation for it. 

(“Care to explain this?” He had asked, holding the frame with a grin on his face. He was looking into Spencer’s desk for a specific file on the Benson murders, only to be met with a very familiar face.

Spencer immediately lunged for the photograph, grabbing it and securing it back in his desk with a heavy slam. “Don’t.”

Derek put his hands up in mock surrender, although his eyes were sympathetic. “There’s nothing platonic about that, kid.”

He huffed in response, rubbing at his eyes and taking a seat at his desk. “I know.”)

The first time he came to terms with the fact that he actually wanted to be with you was after a specific realisation. Some cases are harder than others. It’s a given; some cases are just more difficult to deal with and therefore harder to compartmentalise. Each person is different, especially when you factor in trauma. Derek struggles when pedophilia is involved, and JJ finds suicide cases the worst. Hotch can barely function properly when children are targeted, and Emily hides behind a mask so effortlessly that the most mundane things can get to her. After a period of thought, Spencer realises what he struggles to deal with: bullying.  

“You should have– you should have heard what they were saying!” Spencer insists, pacing his living room floor while throwing his hands up in the air in frustration. 

He had just returned home from a case in West Bune, Texas, and it was probably one of the most difficult cases he had to go through. The UnSub was a teenager named Owen and after a very tense confrontation with him outside the police department, he was taken into custody. The entire nature of the case irked him. So many deaths could have been prevented if people just did something but now a boy is in custody with a body count nearing the double digits. 

“They didn’t even try to deal with the bullying,” he continues, running his fingers through his now long hair. He can’t bring himself to get it cut; especially not after the incident with Hankel some moons ago. 

You don’t say anything, sitting on his couch and sipping your tea, your eyes trained on the way he paces back and forth. 

“People are dead because of them. I’m not saying that they didn’t deserve it because they did, but something should have changed.” His words are harsh as he continues to walk, clenching and unclenching his hands. 

“You can’t change anything about it now,” You say gently, your gaze shifting from his hands to his arms to his face. “What’s done is done. All we can do is hope that the school board learns from their mistakes.”

“But they don’t!” He exclaims, turning to face you. He swallows thickly before sighing, slumping into the seat beside you and pressing himself into his side. “It’s just so… frustrating. They never learn.”

You nod, running your fingers through the knots in his hair. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“That could have been me,” he says quietly, burying his face into the palms of his hands. He presses the pads of his fingers into the corners of his eyes, stars dotting his vision.

“But it’s not,” you say firmly. “You’re a good person, Spencer. You’re saving people and putting the bad guys away. That’s a far cry away from being an UnSub.”

You’re looking at him now and he tilts his head to meet your gaze. You’re so close to him and Spencer can hear his heart pounding in his ears. 

Kiss her.

The words that enter Spencer’s mind are enough to give him whiplash and he pulls away, pretending that he doesn’t see the hurt in your eyes when he does. 

What?

“Are you okay?” You ask, frowning up at him. 

“Yeah,” he murmurs, trying to shake the thoughts from his mind. He offers a smile. “I’m okay.”

*** 

“Emily doesn’t blame you, you know.”

The words hang in the air as you sit on the floor of your bedroom, the thundering storm pounding against your windows. Spencer shrugs, sitting next to you. The power is out across Washington and the flickering of candles helps to light up the room. Spencer fiddles with the rug on the floor and your brows knit together. 

“Walter.”

“I know.” He buries his face in his hands and lets out a groan. “I know, I know. It’s not my fault. It just feels like it, you know? We knew that it was a cult but we didn’t know that it was… that bad. God, angel, you should have seen her. She was beat up and everything and it feels like I could have done something.”

“You’re too hard on yourself,” you chastise, brushing your shoulder against his for a moment. “You really need to take better care of yourself.”

He doesn’t respond, simply moving so that he’s lying down on the rug in your room. It’s a soft tufted rug that goes from a dark purple in the middle to white around the edges. It’s one of his favourite rugs in the world. You’re sitting cross legged beside him, leaning against the bed. The soft glow of the candles illuminate your face and you truly look like an angel in this light. 

He just came back from a case in La Plata County in Colorado and he was ordered to take a week off by Hotch to deal with the traumatics of the case. What started out as an undercover investigation in an underground cult led to a gun fight and a bombing, all while Spencer and Emily were inside the compound. The way Emily looked so in pain after the whole ordeal would haunt him forever; the black eye she suffered from, the bruising to her chest… he doesn’t even want to think about the rest of the things that could have happened. 

“Stop.”

Your voice pulls him from his thoughts and he sucks in a breath.

“I didn’t do anything,” he says meekly, playing with the rug underneath him.

“It’s not your fault.” You smile at him before hitting him lightly with one of your pillows. “Stop that.”

He laughs loudly, grunting a little from the impact of the pillow colliding with his face. “Hey!”

You grin teasingly and hit him again with the pillow. He retaliates quickly, gripping the pillow and trying to tug it out of your hands. Your grip is a lot stronger than he thought it was and his tug sends you flying towards him, a shriek leaving your lips as your forehead bounces off his. 

A hiss of pain leaves your lips but you’re laughing as you clutch your forehead. “Spencer what the hell?!”

“I’m sorry!” He says, not really meaning it, and rubbing at his head. He’s laughing along, his cheeks warm as he smiles up at you. His hands move to your face, one to your cheek and the other to brush the hair on your forehead to the side. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” You laugh again, smiling a brilliantly beautiful toothy smile. The candlelight dances in your eyes with a warm orange light as you do. “Are you?”

His gaze meets yours, watching the way you brush a strand of hair behind your ear and the way your eyes crinkles when you smile. He watches the way you lean against the side of the bed, tilting your head back with your eyes closed. God. He swears you’re trying to kill him.

“Spencer?” You ask with a soft chuckle, and the sound is so pretty that he doesn’t mind the fact that you find amusement at his expense. “Are you okay?”

He nods, his throat dry and his cheeks hot. He blames the candles. 

*** 

The couch is never comfortable. You are well aware that the couch feels strangely lumpy and you’re pretty sure one of the springs is broken but for some reason you keep insisting to take it whenever you stay at Spencer’s apartment. The blanket he lets you use is thick and cosy to make up for it and the pillow is always fluffed. 

“Good morning.”

Spencer’s voice is raspy with early morning vocal fry and it makes your heart lurch in your throat. 

“Morning,” you murmur, eyes still closed in an attempt to calm yourself down. Maybe if you don’t see him you won’t embarrass yourself.

“Still tired?” He asks, and you hear him start the coffee machine. There’s the sound of rustling in the background along with the flicking of a switch. Too many sounds for too early of a day.

“Mm.”

He chuckles, deep and rumbling, before sipping some water. “Yesterday was fun.”

Yesterday involved fourteen hours of watching Doctor Who and passing half way through the nineteenth episode after stuffing yourself full of junk food. Yesterday involved passing out on Spencer, forcing him to move you to the couch and into a position that wasn’t going to destroy your neck. Yesterday involved the most platonic and innocent activities known to Earth, despite the way his words insinuated something entirely differently. 

“You fell asleep before the best part,” he says, pouring himself a cup of coffee. 

“You could have watched without me.”

He shakes his head as he stirs the sugar. “That wouldn’t have been right.”

A hum leaves your lips as you get up from the couch, stretching your arms and making your way over to him from behind the kitchen island. You’re wearing one of his old Doctor Who t-shirts that he let you keep, the sleeves reaching just past your elbows. Your hair is a mess and your eyes are half closed but you look so…

Cute. Seeing you in his shirt drives him wild. There’s something possessive about it and for a second he feels gross. He feels like he’s taking advantage of you but he’s obviously not; you’re the one who stole that shirt from him many moons ago and you’re the one who chose to wear it that day. Regardless, he can’t help but be transfixed as you walk around his kitchen like it’s your own home. Spencer’s eyes follow your figure as you pull open one of his cupboards and grab your mug (a really stupid avocado mug that’s bright green with a lid) before pouring some coffee into it. 

“You’ve been going to your NA meetings, right?” You ask him, sipping your drink.

He nods immediately, his gaze never leaving you. “Yeah. Once a week.”

“That’s good!” You tell him, the caffeine slowly beginning to wake you up. “That’s really good, Walter.”

He smiles at you, dropping his forehead to your shoulder. “Thank you.”

For a few moments, all he can think about is you. Your hair smells like your special vanilla shampoo that Penelope got you hooked on and your skin smells like lavender and orange blossom. He remembers JJ giving you a sample in the office and you went and ordered a whole bottle during your lunch break right after. The compliments you got that day were like no other, and he remembers the way your eyes would light up every single time someone commented on the perfume, as well as the way you would excitedly talk about the different notes. Now, whenever he smells lavender or oranges he thinks of you. He doesn’t think it’s a problem in the slightest.

You sip your coffee again, the sound of the toaster dinging in the background, accompanied by the thick smell of char. In an instant, Spencer jolts from his place and places two very burnt slices of toast onto the plate, his nose scrunching up in frustration. 

“I was gonna make you breakfast,” he tells you lamely. “I think we should get croissants.”

You laugh, dumping the pieces of toast into the bin and nod. “I think that’s the best idea you’ve had all day.”

*** 

The rare occasion when Spencer drives is when you’re not fit to. He picks you up at two in the morning at a bar and you’re sitting in his passenger seat. Your hair has a few tangles here and there and you’re wearing the prettiest purple dress. 

“You really didn’t have to pick me up,” you tell him tiredly, rubbing at your eyes. “I could have gotten a taxi.”

Spencer rolls his eyes, leaning over the console to buckle in your seatbelt. “You called me, I’m here. I’m not going to let you get into a stranger’s car when you’re drunk.”

 “I’m not drunk!” You protest, your head leaning against the car door. “I had one drink.”

“Which can lead to a blood alcohol level of 0.01 to 0.03,” Spencer says, shooting you a smile. “I’d rather not risk it, angel.”

You groan and lean back on the chair. “I swear I’m fine.”

“Why didn’t your friends take you home?” He asks, starting the ignition. “Didn’t you say you were going to hitch a ride with them?”

A hum leaves your lips and you nod. “That was the plan. But one of the designated drivers couldn’t come last minute and the car wasn’t big enough.”

Spencer frowns, backing out of the driveway. “How long were you waiting outside of the bar?”

“Um…” your brows furrow as you think of the answer and you fiddle with the hem of your skirt. “Ten minutes?”

“(Y/N).”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t think it would have been that long,” you huff, rubbing at your eyes. “I promise I was careful.”

Spencer shoots you a frustrated look, sipping at his lukewarm takeaway cup of filtered coffee but keeping his eyes on the road. “You should have called me sooner.”

“I felt bad,” you respond sheepishly, offering him a guilty smile.

Spencer hums, running a hand through his hair. He hasn’t had the time to get it cut so for the time being it’s left slicked back and out of his eyes. He’s wearing his glasses now, too, because he didn’t have the time to put in his contacts. He looks a lot better than he did eight months ago, and he feels it, too. The white t-shirt he’s wearing is filled a little better now that he’s gained a little weight. Happy weight you had told him, pinching at his sides, it means you’re healing.

“Can you pull over?”

Your voice comes out small and Spencer snaps his head to look in your direction. “Yeah. Yeah, of course– hold on.”

He parks at a random McDonald’s on the side of the freeway and you immediately get out of the car and hurl in one of the bushes. He grimaces, getting out of the car to rub your back comfortingly.

“You okay?” He asks, continuing to rub circles on your back. He holds your hair away from your face, watches as your necklace dangles from your neck and catches the light from the 24/7 fast food place.

“... I might have had a little more than one drink.”

He can’t bring himself to get upset at you. Instead, Spencer just sighs and brandishes a bottle of water from the side pocket of his car. “Sip it slowly.”

You do as asked, taking small tentative sips of the cold water. He holds your hair in place, brushing a few strands away from your eyes and forehead. 

“This is exactly why I didn’t want you taking a taxi,” Spencer says with a hum, satisfied when you finish drinking half the bottle. “What if you threw up in their car?”

You groan, wiping a hand over your face. “I didn’t mean to.”

“I know, angel,” he says sympathetically, lifting your chin with his index finger so that you’re looking at him. “I just worry. You should be able to rely on me, too, you know.”

“Okay,” you say through drunken stupor. “Didn’t mean to worry you, Walter.”

“I know,” he repeats softly, running his fingers through your hair. “Hey. Look up.”

You do, and you stare up at the sky. Stars dot and litter the navy sky, and if you squint you could see a faint blue star.

“That’s Venus,” he explains, gesturing to the little dot. He points to a smaller, redder light just below it. “That’s Mars.”

Even amidst the light pollution, the planets shine brightly. Your gaze is fixed upon the little planets and stars, enjoying the midsummer night’s breeze, the nausea you felt moments prior beginning to subside.

“Do you know what Venus represents?” Spencer asks softly, brushing his shoulder against yours, smiling when you shake your head. “Venus represents love and beauty in Roman mythology.”

You laugh, pressing your nose into his shoulder. “Do you believe that?”

“Scientifically? No,” he admits, “Venus is a planet. It doesn’t really represent anything but a giant ball of gas. But people place significance on insignificant things because it gives them meaning so I understand why they do it.”

It’s quiet for a little while, aside from the occasional sound of a car passing by and a cicada chirping. A cool breeze blows past but it’s more comforting than anything as the two of you sit on the hood of his car: an old 1965 Volvo Amazon in the colour blue horizon with paint chipping off at the inner fenders and bumper ends. He lets you sit on his jacket, your dress and legs protected from the dirty car bonnet. Your head is on his shoulder, your arms wrapped around his and you’ve traded your heels for a pair of Spencer’s spare mis-matched socks.

“(Y/N),” he whispers, rubbing his hand on your arm. “We should get you home.”

You nod, wiggling your toes in the socks. “Yeah.”

Spencer pauses and looks at you, watching as you yawn and hop off the car. He says your name again, chuckling a little bit when you look up at him a little dazed. The words get caught in his chest as he takes a tentative step closer to you. You’re so close. Just one small move. That’s all it would take… he dismisses the thoughts when he can smell the liquor on your skin. 

“You’re my best friend,” he says quietly after several moments of silence. 

You smile at him. “You’re my best friend, too.”

He drives you home that day with more regret than necessary. He wishes he kissed you. It would have made his life so much easier.

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[matan4il]

Buddie 610 meta

Holy shit, this ep.

Okay, what shall we start with? Maybe with what 911 itself starts, lots of foreshadowing. At the beach call, we have Eddie looking at Buck and replying to him (about the lightning), “I really hope it doesn’t strike twice, though.” Which, of course we know it will. But the foreshadowing continues, as Buck talks to Omar about unexpected things in life coming out of nowhere. That suggests we need to pay extra attention to other elements in this ep that might act as foreshadowing for later events along 6b. ~~

That kind of connects to me with Buck being closely tied to Ely, the pregnant lady (he saves the day there twice, first by realizing the oil is dripping and if they use the saw, it might prove fatal, then by helping Bobby with the baby). First off, it made me chuckle when we learned that, despite being driven to the hospital by a man, he’s actually not her partner. 911 made sure we knew Ely has a wife, and that she has another kid with her. Is it a coincidence when Buck, who practically has a husband and a kid with him already, is the main firefighter taking care of her? Maybe, but it still amused me. What really made me take note is when he told her not to push, trying to stall her childbirth, and she replied that it doesn’t depend on her. That made me wonder if perhaps this is also in a way foreshadowing what we might end up seeing with the sperm donation storyline. I’m not sure, I can’t be, but I was not surprised to see that storyline brought up later in the ep. ~~

In general, this ep’s title, “In a Flash,” might seem to refer to the lightning storm the team experiences, but the real tempest is the havoc our families can wreak on us, tied to the unexpected nature change can sometimes take on. Chim’s dad suddenly shows up, raining on his parade. Albert suddenly thinks Chim should give their dad a chance to be Jee Yun’s grandpa, but decides against giving his brother a warning. The Buckley parents are suddenly making an effort, yet leaving everyone suspicious and unnerved. Albert suddenly leaks Buck’s sperm donation to everyone and unleashes hell between the in-laws. Denny’s changes, probably influenced by getting in touch with his dad, come as a surprise to Hen. And of course, at the climax of the ep, Bobby as the unofficial adoptive father of Buck might lose his son in a flash. The whole ep is filled with these parallels of abrupt familial disquiet, especially in relation to dads, on all 118 fronts. And as Buck deals with maybe the biggest of these questions, because he doesn’t even yet know what he wants for himself and how does the life he helped create (but only as a donor) fit into that, it’s no wonder his life ends up hanging literally in the balance. ~~

One of the most painful things in this ep for me was seeing how much Buck’s parents are willing to accept him as a donor, because not for a second do they think he can be a father. That would be the natural conclusion from him looking at a sonogram on his phone, but his parents find it easier to believe their daughter is pregnant again than to think Buck would be a dad (ironic, because he already is one. Just not to the baby in the sonogram). It reminded me of how Eddie’s parents also didn’t believe in his ability to be a dad, and actively petitioned to have Chris taken from him to be raised by them in 315. It amazes me every time anew just how much Buddie are compatible, because their stories parallel so much that they can understand each other in ways most other people can’t. ~~

And it gets to me that this whole episode also insists on reminding us how good Buck is with kids, first with the ones on the beach, calming them down and answering their questions to help them make sense of the whole ordeal. Then with Ely’s baby, a callback to how we saw him with the pipe baby in 101. It connects to him looking at the baby sonogram, all excited, once again acting so much like an expectant dad would (parallel to him and the firefighter onesie in 609), when we know he’s not actually going to be that baby’s father. It very much does feel like 911 is signaling to us Buck has some realizations coming his way in this context. ~~

Speaking of the kids on the beach, Buck telling the boy he wants to fix everything, then adding that Buck gets it, had me screaming into my fists, because hey, remember who said that to Buck? That’s right, his Eddie, back in 504. A reminder of how much Eddie sees Buck, accepts him and allows him to be himself, enabling Buck in turn to reflect that back to that kid. Of course, in the context of the sperm donation, Buck’s tendency made him want to help “fix” things for Connor and Kameron, and we might learn in 6b that Buck comes to realize he sometimes lets this tendency take him to places that aren’t actually good for him, without fully considering the consequences, and then hopefully, he’ll get to find a way to balance this, to be himself, but not derailed from his life goals by this part of himself. ~~

At the same time that the ep shows us how good Buck is with kids, it also serves to remind us of the one kid that we’ve seen him co-parent all along, the one who has always demonstrated what a good, loving dad Buck is, Christopher. Yes, when we see Buck working on his cooking with Bobby, it’s a part of the many parallels revolving around dads in this ep, so Buck and Bobby’s r/s is the immediate focus, but at the same time, we know who Buck is learning this FOR. Lazania kitchen scene from 601, anyone? Oh, but the best part? It’s when Buck tells Bobby, “Something’s missing.” He can’t quite put the finger on what, but he knows something in his domesticity isn’t fully there. I wonder what, Buck... And this is again in an ep full of foreshadowing! ~~

It may seem like a minor thing, but remember how in my past meta, I was more or less losing it over the many times Buck and Eddie did rope rescues together as their own team within the 118 team, even having their assigned roles where Eddie connects Buck to the line and then becomes an anchor himself to keep Buck safe, to the point where I wrote a smut fic involving this very meaningful act? Yeah, so imagine me seeing that the most intense Buddie call we’ve had since the end of 413 starts with them doing this subtextually intimate thing, Eddie hooking Buck up to the rope, becoming his literal life line, and even teasingly calling him “cowboy” while at it. No, I was not breathing for a full minute at least. ~~

But since I brought up the shooting in 413, can we talk about the insanity of the parallels? Take the meaningful staring once disaster strikes. Back in s4, it was mutual, right before Eddie collapsed. In 610, Buck is unconscious, so you wouldn’t think they could stare at each other at this moment, right? Plus, back in 413, it was just the two of them present at the scene out of the 118, the other members of the team weren’t there. The lightning strike seems a lot less intimate in comparison... But in this ep, the camera plays a role in recreating that same dynamic, singling out the connection between Buddie. Because when Buck is hit by lightning, we get shots of every 118 member looking up and being terrified of what just happened to their friend.

The only exception in terms of this shot? Eddie. He’s the only one that isn’t being filmed from the side as he looks up, he’s filmed from above as he looks straight into the camera. Essentially, the shot recreates Buck’s POV for Eddie, and for him alone. It shows us what Buck would see and how he would stare down, back at Eddie, if he only could. The fact that the camera has to do this instead of Buck himself further emphasizes the horror of Buck being unconscious, but the choice to do this only with Eddie highlights their connection and makes it clear that Buddie’s bond IS different to what the other team members have with Buck, no matter how close the others are to him or how much they love him. What’s insane is that DESPITE having all of the 118 there, there is still a bubble within this whole situation that is Buddie and Buddie’s alone, even as Buck himself is unconscious. It’s no wonder Eddie jumps up that electrocuted ladder without even thinking about it, it’s no wonder no one even tries to stop him or warn him of the danger in that. That is a man on a mission to save the other half of him, and the show tells us that in more than one way.

That’s gonna continue through Eddie’s attempts (and eventual success) in getting Buck away from immediate danger, as well as when the team tries but then fails to revive Buck, because Eddie will be the one to push past Bobby to see Buck, and Eddie will be the one Bobby has to keep in line by assigning him driving duty, maybe the most important thing anyone can do for Buck once all the medical assistance they can give him in the field is of no further use. ~~

One more thing regarding the comparison with the shooting arc in s4, as well as talking about camera shots, is that we get to see the difference between a platonic friend resuscitating his teammate and a man desperately trying to keep the love of his life alive. If you look at Chim doing compressions on Buck, he’s giving it his all, because he DOES love Buck, Chim’s doing his best for his friend and brother in law. But the shot is not an intimate one, we don’t get close ups, we don’t get to focus on the eyes and see the frantic look of a man who knows he CAN’T fail, we don’t see the intimate touch of a hand laying a gauze on an exposed chest and trying to keep this treasured body together, we do get “come on, Buck,” but we don’t get personal speech, begging the other man to hold on and just “stay with me.” While back in 414, in the ambulance, we had ALL of those as Buck, almost on the verge of losing his sanity, fought for Eddie’s life. ~~

Lastly, I’ve made in the past a gifset of times when we’ve seen Buck screaming Eddie’s name in horror at the face of danger (including in 413), and I love that we can finally add to that Eddie doing the same thing for Buck. But I think it’s particularly meaningful that it happened not as a matter of when Buck would be in danger, but rather it was a question of just how significant Buck had to become to Eddie for this former, highly decorated soldier to go from the stoic man he was in 218 to what we see in 610 (as seen in my latest weekly gifset). Because Eddie WAS incredibly worried back in the s2 finale. He was gritting his teeth, you can see the tension on his face, and the second it was safe, he sprang to Buck’s side. Eddie also held on to him while everyone else was lifting the truck (even though Chim, as a medic, would have been a more natural choice to hold on to Buck, while Eddie the firefighter helps lift engine 118). And Eddie wouldn’t even let go of Buck’s hand on the way to the truck. HE WAS DISTRAUGHT. But the man who kept his facade up in the hospital after Shannon, his wife and mother of his son, died just one ep earlier, did the same thing with Buck. What I find so telling is that he can no longer do that by 610. Buck has become such an integral part of his life, of his family, of who Eddie is as a person and how he deals with life, way more than even Shannon managed to be. And that’s why Eddie loses it, confirming what we’ve known for a while: Buddie are life partners. ~~

I now have direct links to my weekly meta posts, my Buddie gifs and more of my content in my pinned post. Loads of love to @whosoldherout​​ for making unbelievable gifs for my very unique requests. You’re a star! Tag list will follow in the reblog. Thank you in advance for any reblog and like! I’m operating on 1.5 hours of sleep to get this posted ASAP, so I really appreciate any and all encouragement to keep doing this. xoxox

[yakumtsaki]

Dear readers, we've been through so much together and you know at this point it takes a lot for me to describe a situation as 'out of control'.. yet here we are. So Kea moves in and the following happens in the span of like 2 hours:

Barth beats up Felina.

Kea beats up Spice.

Barth beats up Cyan.

Felina beats up Barth. Like seriously, ENOUGH. I've decided that next generation when we're at the third cousin tier relation I'm just gonna let whoever wants to date a cousin do it because holy hell, breaking them up has been a disaster. Everyone is near aspiration failure, everyone has shit grades, we're BROKE, and to top it all off..

-HELLO AGAIN

Why. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING WE DON'T OWE ANY BILLS LIKE THIS IS LITERAL THEFT. I also love how everyone is already so miserable so the repoman just comes and takes all the fun objects we can't afford to replace, FML

Barth's aspiration meter is absolutely pathetic as a result of everyone viciously assaulting him and desperate times call for desperate measures..

-Well well.. If it isn't Glitched Butler #9.. How's it hanging? ;)

-Same as always, I'm here to not cook and to open the doors we no longer have thanks to Baby.

-You know what, I'm too depressed to seduce you so will you just sleep with me?

-As you well know my butler programming prohibits me from doing anything helpful!

FFS. It's ok Barth, I will fulfill your throw a party want, I don't see how anything could go wrong with the situation in this house being what it is!

-Hey there! Join our party! Sleep with me! I COMMAND YOU

Barth please get it together.

-I CAN'T FUNCTION ROMANTICALLY BECAUSE I'M SO SAD BUT I REFUSE TO THROW ANY WANTS THAT DON'T INVOLVE ME SLEEPING WITH SOMEONE

OK DO YOU MAYBE SEE THE PROBLEM WITH THAT APPROACH

-NO

-Ugh, Spice is so hot when he's crying after I beat him up.

Ok Kea, I'm only gonna ask this once: are you fucking kidding me????

-What? It's only natural to be attracted to your girlfriend's ex who is her cousin and your enemy.

I'm just gonna pretend I didn't see this shit and move on.

So I have invited several of Barth's existing and potential lovers to this party and my goal is to figure out who, if anyone, I'm gonna marry him to. Now please enjoy this sequence of events:

a) Barth is flirting with my current top spouse pick, Stella Terrano, and it's going great!

b) Barth leaves Stella Terrano to go sleep with GODDAMN GUNNAR. Since I can't seem to shake this fucker off, the only option remaining is to give him a ridiculous fake accent to make him bearable.

-Oi luvs you, Barth!

-Why are you talking like a servant from Downton Abbey? Also who the hell caught me cheating now?

Who knows or cares? Let's continue:

c) Barth goes downstairs to beat up Cyan.

d) Klara aka my former top spouse pick attempts to leap into Barth's arms and HE LETS HER DROP

-Äääääh mein arsch!

-Sorry Klara but I refuse to get caught cheating by Gunnar..

-..unless it's with Stella Terrano!

LOL OMG, I really thought I'd have to marry him to fucking Gunnar due to THIS SHIT:

But God's mercy finally shines upon me!!!

Oh man I'm so upset by this >:)

-Ha culd youse do 'is, ya broke ma 'eart!!!

-What?

-Oh my, turtles are considered the sexiest animal in my planet👽

Stella ffs. Oh well, so sad, goodbye Gunnar, I was really hoping to add your freakish lack of chin into our gene pool but looks like I won't have the chance huhu!

e) Barth flirts with Stella again and is caught cheating AGAIN..

f) ..by Sarah Love who I keep forgetting exists but man that's a HARDCORE slap, she legit got her fingers in his eyeball(s)

-SORRY WHATSYOURNAME BUT I THINK BLINDING ME IS A BIT OF AN OVERREACTION

Yay! See Barth, our amazing party did the trick and now everything is gonna be ok!

-IM BLIND IM BLINDDDD I CAN'T SEE

Excuse me?! You know what Barth I'm done helping you, nothing is ever good enough for you!

[buzzybee26]

I've seen people saying that this season marks a transition from serious with silly elements to silly with serious elements (particularly after the 1st 2 eps) but now that we've had a lot more of the season, I think this is wrong. This season isn't silly with serious elements, it's a serious season wearing the mask of a silly season.

Spoilers under cut

Space Babies looks like it's just "lol babies running space station, lol snot monster, lol farting space ship" at face value, but there's a lot more to unpack from how The Doctor relates the Bogeyman and being the only one of his kind to the underlying themes of abortion legislation and honestly a lot more to unpack than I don't have the brain power to write rn.

Devil's Chord keeps the silly tone, but destroys the world and does some important foreshadowing about Ruby and The One Who Waits. This is the one that leans most into the silliness, but it has the stakes to work with this analysis.

The plot of Boom is "The Doctor steps on a glowy land mine" which is a hilarious sentence and the next time preview for it was absolutely left us with a lot of questions pertaining to how that was going to be a full episode, but it ended up being a thesis on how organised religion, capitalism and war are some of greatest threats to humanity and they all make each other worse. Boom is played straight for pretty much the whole episode, but it looks like a pretty silly premise before you watch it.

The 73 Yards next time preview, whilst creepy, made the episode look a lot cheesier than it ended up being and they ran with this until the reveal that the pub goers were just messing with Ruby, after which we don't get any more stuff like uncomfortable close ups or characters expositing about local folk lore. The horror b-movie is a lie.

And now Dot and Bubble. The brightest episode of the season has the darkest ending so far. At first glance it certainly looks a lot sillier than it is with its bug-eyed monsters and "phone bad" aesthetic. This episode is all about deception. Ricky lies about the home world, Lindy lies about Ricky being alive, but there's more. The residents of Fine Time get the lie of Fine Time. The whole thing is about them looking past a vale to see what's really going on around them. The Doctor and Ruby get the lie that they will save these people. They go in, they try to help and the get cooperation for a bit, but the rich kids' pride and prejudice stops them. We as the audience receive the lie that these characters could be saved in the first place. The episode sets itself up to have a hopeful ending where the rich kids start learning to improve themselves as people in a new home that the Doctor brought them to. We get so focused on that narrative structure that we don't step back and look at the bigger picture. These people think they're so amazing because they don't waste resources with their consumerism and they have followers and they're stuck in a n environment that affirms their egos yet they can't even walk without their bubbles and they mostly get annoyed when the disappearances get brought up. Their egos are so overinflated and they're so used to being in an environment where they can only talk to other people who think and act like them, of course they're not going with the Doctor. They'll use him as long as they think they need him but they refuse to accept that they can't do anything by themselves if they're not in absolute immediate danger because they think they're so amazing. This feels like it should have a somber ending where we mourn the losses and look to a brighter future in the moment because of the tone and structure, but take a step back from it and there was no other way it was going to end.

This whole season has been a tonal lie that's been breaking down as we go and I really hope they do something cool with that idea.

[kyoghurts]

Hellooooooo, hope you are having an amazing day/night!!! I recently read one of your stories about rayne and his assistant, I absolutely loved it!!!! Had me flipping my hands and giggling a lot l, I really liked the way you characterized him. So I was wondering if you could write about him with a reader that's on outside a little bit like him (people finding them intimidating, socially awkward and smart) but it's actually a lot like Finn (they are a little shy, tends to cry easily and really loyal) I don't know if that makes sense... but anyways aajsjsjajs

im actually an amalgam of these two 🥲 so sorry for not writing this sooner but here you go <3

✶ HAPPY TEARS.

mashle. rayne ames x gn reader

content. fluff & 1.6k wc. this leans more towards platonic relationship but can be interpreted in any form. messy writing bc im back in the slumps.

people often find you smart, it's seen in the numbers etched to your papers and the consistent participation in class, there's a tone of modesty in the way you interact with others, and your quiet nature in medium to large social groups does nothing but earn you the intimidating, or rather, mysterious type of a title.

the admiration of others is bearable, you're lucky you're not too popular, you don't really know how else to go about it. unlike a certain someone whom you're well acquainted with, but not necessarily close to call a friend. he doesn't even pay attention to you when you're not the one initiating a conversation, which is actually convenient for the most part.

rayne ames doesn't bother you like the rest; he'll talk to you if the circumstances deem it necessary. things you can list off as 'school-related' situations, there are days where his generosity reaches far, extending to you for reasons you can't pinpoint. he offers you his notes when you ask, acknowledges your presence by maintaining eye contact until you nod at him and he does the same, walk beside him in silence as if it's a long-time habit —like friends who no longer feel the need to talk in order to maintain the bond, he's already nice enough to feel unbothered with you, that itself is a bond worthy of simple sentiments, if there’s any existing between your bones.

(who are you kidding, of course you’re sentimental. people often befriend you for their own benefit, it makes you want to crawl into yourself, the layers of the title you’re given have grown thicker; no one else can see you when you’re protected by what you have constructed.)

(but deep down, there’s a friend in your bed who accepts your tears as it is, and you’re happy because they don’t speak ill of you behind your back, they let you ramble until you cling to them in your sleep.)

(you’re happy because nobody is here, just you and your pillow, still alone. hurt becomes a friend you’re ready to share with yourself.)

(you’re happy this way, right?)

a particular memory flashes through your mind, one that causes you to flinch from your daze.

(wrong. happiness doesn’t come in a messy rain soaked in your poor pillows. hurt becomes a bully when you place it upon yourself.)

you were having the worst of anxieties when the day strikes you for the report that was supposed to be due by next week. perhaps its your fault in the first place to forget that he’s never been nice to you or to anyone, and he had the audacity to taunt you when you were ready to bite his head off then and there.

there are days where you simply cannot go by without curling into a corner—literally— and easing your worries in private, this day should not be one of them, but it is.

though to save some good news, you already finished your script anyway. and the topic is quite easy than the others, all you have to do is get up and sort your lines and not freak out when eyes are finally set on you. god, you could practically rip your flashcards with how you’ve been fumbling it with aggressive fingers almost tearing the edges right now.

“what are you doing?”

you let out a painful shreak, panting when the air in your lungs have been knocked out. you’re still crouching, but you turn your head and look up to see golden eyes watching you in such a way that you’re considering leaving altogether.

“rayne?” the calmness of your voice is such a comical contrast to your terrified expression that you want to laugh, if not for the current state that you’re in.

“the prof is coming soon. aren’t you getting ready?”

“i am getting ready” you say, almost sounding upset and salty. your gaze flick back to the pointed corner, not wanting to deal anymore of this. “i’m …nervous, okay. i need to think here.”

you close your eyes and sigh. you don’t need to know that rayne pities you at this moment, you don’t really care how he thinks of you, and you know him enough to discern him as the type to not care of someone like you either. you sigh once more and eventually feel composed. it’s enough to keep you intact—for now, at least.

you fall into complete silence, it stays like this for a while until you hear someone sigh behind you and—why is he still here?

“are you done?” he asks when you turn as you give him an incredulous look, as if saying his question is just plain stupid.

you don’t give him an answer. you stand up to your feet, fixing your robe and patting them down…but you can’t resist the strong pull of his gaze, so you meet his eyes once more, only to be taken aback by how…placid he actually is.

no sharpness in his glare. no spite in the refined lines of his face.

you had to ask, “how did you know i was here?”

“i saw you walked out.”

“i mean how did you find me—“

“does it matter?”

your brows knit together in slight tense, “of course it does.”

he walks away, remaining quiet. if that doesn’t piss you off now, you don’t know what will. your glare behind his head as you follow suit is something you wouldn’t imagine yourself to do, but something about rayne just doesn’t sit right with you at all. none of your peers know this sort of hiding spot that you have, and most definitely your personal magic could have detected the slightest track of presence within 100-meter radius range.

he walks up ahead, remaining quiet which irks you more than it should. you follow suit, already drained to keep persisting him. for a moment you think, if he hadn’t showed up, maybe you’d still be in the slump far longer you can’t endure. maybe, a teeny tiny part of you is grateful, but you’re not one to admit that out loud.

instead, you try to keep up with him, placing yourself beside him as placid as you can muster.

he speaks softly, catching you off guard, “you do that when you’re anxious.”

you’re not quite sure what to say, the way he states it is rather declarative than a question, you nod in agreement. no point denying it.

“you’re not who they expect you to be.”

“w-what?” you give him a glance, he’s still looking ahead.

“to hell with expectations. just do your best.”

that day, you can’t take your eyes off of him. the awe-struck might have been evident on your face, he briefly blinks at you before his walking pace slows down to match yours.

you feel warm, inexplicably so.

you held back a tear, but it still drops for the seed of happiness to suddenly grow.

“hey.” you greet him, slightly jogging to catch up with him.

he slows down, like always. he acknowledges you through with it, feeling relaxed as you both amble throughout campus.

you smile, maybe you’re friends after all.

“i assume you’re not busy?”

“not really.”

rayne leaves it at that, or so you thought. it takes a minute to register what he said, your footsteps coming to a halt. “sorry…what did you say?”

“you can come with me, i need to buy something in the market.”

rayne ames doesn't bother you like the rest; he'll talk to you if the circumstances deem it necessary. things you can list off as 'school-related' situations-

“is this school-related?”

“no? just things i need to check on my list.”

“oh.” you stand there a little too dumbfounded.

a hint of hesitance fleetingly passes through rayne’s gaze. you don’t intend to make it awkward, but you are, and then you chuckle at yourself for doing so. “sorry, that startled me.”

“it’s not obligatory, so don’t worr-”

“i’ll come!” your lips tilt in an enthusiastic grin as you start walking again, “what’s on the list rayne?”

he faintly bumps your shoulder with such nonchalance you honestly find it unfair, your heart is beating unceremoniously against your chest, and your quivering smile gives away too much.

you’re starting to like the prospect of being bothered by rayne regardless if it’s necessary or not. to hell with expectations, you think, you’ll do your best being the happiest version of yourself.

you return the gesture much too late that it earns you a confused look. and then he bumps you again, and again when you follow another, and another. until you’re laughing at him for being silly and you swear you saw a smile ghost across his lips, as fast as a blink, it’s gone.

you would be happy to witness them everyday, if you can. (and that, you shall.)

notes. gonna start writing that drunk and jealous rayne fic i've put on hold last month :]]]]]

© kyoghurts. ★ reblogs & likes are well appreciated!

[cranquis]

Your recent reblog made me sad, but also makes a lot of sense. I've been following you since I was in medical school, and I'm now in my fifth year of specialty training (I am not American). I did occasionally wonder why I've been seeing less of the kind of content you used to put out.

All I can say is - thank you for the work you do. I've seen enough online to get an idea of what you must face on a daily basis. I think I'm lucky that somehow, the doctor-patient relationship overall hasn't deteriorated to such an extent where I live (yet at least), but I definitely understand the frustration and despair of trying to communicate with people who aren't coming into the conversation in good faith.

You've always been a kind of role model for me in terms of your passion for your work and your open sharing about your faith. I guess I just wanted to say that I hope you find hope and joy in your work, even if those you serve aren't wise enough to appreciate what you do for them.

Hi, my colleague! Hey first of all, thank you for your kind words of encouragement and affirmation. Negative med-related interactions (online or in person) anymore just roll off me, but the positive ones still give my heart a thrill! :) And congrats on your continued journey down the medical pathway.

Second, I'm glad your message gives me the chance to clarify for all my long-time Cranquis Pants* that I still do enjoy my work. I have been doing the exact same Urgent Care job in the exact same location (with quite a few staff turnovers) ever since I finished residency 17 years ago! I still enjoy the bulk of my patient interactions, I continue to hone my diagnostic skills, I feel very confident in my procedural skills, I have a reputation in our local medical community as a reliable and thorough physician, and I have a loyal group of patients who routinely nag me to "quit urgent care and become a regular doctor so we can be your primary care patients". My staff likes and respects me (despite my best efforts to ruin that on the daily, with my puns etc); I like my staff and appreciate the hard work they do in the face of the same administrative and societal opposition that I encounter; I am not distressed when little kids freak out during physical exams (and my success rate of turning those frowns upside down with playful interactions and silly sound effects is pretty darn good).

I am blessed with amazing work-life balance, more than the majority of Family Medicine-trained physicians I suspect. I carry no pager, I take no call, I leave my work at home when I go home. I know my schedule months in advance, I have a shift template that gives me plenty of week-long stretches off, and I have my Sabbaths 100% free to attend church and spend time with my family. My pay is decent and my benefits are solid, my debts get paid and I have a roof over my head. My kids and wife are happy to see me come home. Personally, I really have nothing to complain about.

But the bloom is off the rose for my profession as a whole. The politics and trends of the US health care system continues to disenfranchise physicians, devaluing the years and $$ invested in becoming physicians, over-valuing patient satisfaction scores and inexpensive labor and glitzy administrative initiatives and staff rumor mills more than evidence-based, experience-driven clinical medicine. The power structure is upside down, as if doctors ought to be automatically doubted and disdained by pharmacists, insurance companies, administrators, patients, and APCs because of their systematic educational journeys and reliance upon scientific evidence.

And one of the saddest results is watching medical professionals turn on each other. The fragmentation and super-specialization of every aspect of medical care creates artificial "us v. them" scenarios; specialists and primary-care battling over who does the paperwork for pre-op visits and FMLA, ER and Urgent Care arguing about how much workup should be undertaken by the UC when the patient is obviously going to need ER management, primary-care so overwhelmed with insurance-required goals that their patients can never get same-day/soon-day appointments, pharmacies so understaffed that it's easier for them to tell the patients that "the doctor never sent the prescription" when in reality ...

I could go on.

I miss the old days (said the geezer on the internet), when I could enthusiastically support a pre-med student's dreams of getting into medical school and "helping people as a doctor someday." Now I wince at the idealism in a high-schooler's eyes, and try to find a nice way to say "there's more options for helping people than just becoming a doctor... be sure you have your motivations straight, because medicine is not what it was even 10 years ago..."

So hope and joy in my career? Hope for the profession of physicians, I have little. But I make the joy in my practice when I can make it, and I only expect to find joy in my non-medical time with family and hobbies and travel and friends and the lifestyle which my medical career still does make more feasible than otherwise.

*Probably not the term historically assigned to "fans of this blog", back when I posted frequently -- it's been a minute -- but if not, SHOOT that was a missed opportunity.

[lokisprettygirl]

Deadly Locks (Detective! Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon Au) (Dark )

Read Chapter 5 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 6

Summary: New detective gets assigned to the case but he's not there to help Daemon.

Trigger Warning: Rape and torture, 18+ , smut, It's a crime thriller so there would be some squeamish dark stuff, read at your own discretion, mention of rape, assault and murder, Speeding and driving under the influence, Reader has long hair, Daemon's hair is up for imagination, Cigarette consumption, some geographical errors

You were fidgeting with your dress repeatedly so he linked his fingers with yours to stop you and knocked on the door of his mother's house. Not that he really was keen on doing this but when her mother found out that he was dating a girl for months, she wanted to meet her desperately and she kept insisting until he gave in to her nagging.

He had never brought his girlfriends to see his mother but his mother somehow always got in touch with women he was interested in, as unfortunate as he found his looks in the mirror he always slept around with women as pretty as his mother, women who hurt him in the earliest opportunity they got, he was just another guy, an escape from their broken lives or just someone to kill time with until they found better options.

They all looked similar in a way but none of them were you.

You were an angel, his own angel, not a day has gone by in the past eight months where he didn't feel appreciated or cared for by you. He just hoped he was giving the same love in return.

He had never been loved this way so it took a lot of self adjustment in the beginning to believe that you really wanted to be with someone who wasn't worth your time, a girl like you deserved the best and he wasn't. He could never be but then he didn't want you to leave him either.

As his mother opened the door she immediately wrapped her arms around him and pulled him in for a tight hug.

“Oh my baby, i have missed you” she mumbled in glee and excitement, completely ignoring your existence which you didn't mind at first but after what he had told you about his strained relationship with his mother, this warm greeting seemed a bit surprising...

Throughout the dinner she kept calling him her baby, her boy, she kept dousing him in affection he most certainly didn't seem to like. He had a tough life growing up, his father died when he was just ten and his mother was sent to a psychiatrist hospital when he was fourteen. He had never really gone into detail till now about what had happened between them so you didn't really know enough.

As he received a call he excused himself and you were left alone with his mother. Seeing her you could tell she was an extremely gorgeous woman in her prime, her genes combined with his father's, it wasn't a wondering thought that he looked so uniquely beautiful like that.

“So my son seems very fond of you y/n” she said to you so you gave her a smile as you helped her with the dishes.

“Well I hope so, I'm very fond of him too” you mumbled softly but she glared at you in response. You were kind of intimidated by her considering her history. Daemon had told you that she was better now that she was taking her medications regularly but you still felt wary of her.

“Be careful with my boy though, my son is very fragile in such matters, his last girlfriend ditched him after they began to have physical relations..she said he was very bad in bed”

Well this wasn't an appropriate choice of conversation right? Why was she talking about him like that?

“I don't intend to leave him, I love him Mrs Targaryen and for your information he's amazing in everything he does” she chuckled as you said that.

“Really? A woman like you? I don't believe that” you raised your brows as she said that.

“Excuse me?”

“No need to kid ourselves, women like us want a perfect life, perfect men and my son ..he's not the manliest man out there is he now–”

“I apologize but you're being very inappropriate right now. There's nothing wrong with him.. not a thing, he's the sweetest most gentle man i have ever known in my life after my father so you don't really know what you're talking about and I'd appreciate it if you would stop putting down your son in such a manner”

On the way back home you weren't saying much and he was stressed, the issues he had because of his mother was a driving factor in why some of those women he tried to date left him behind but he couldn't imagine losing you too.

He pulled over on an empty deserted road to talk to you and that snapped you out of your thoughts.

“What did she say to you?” He asked you, worried that she might have told you about what she had done to him when he was a child. He wanted to be the one to tell you everything, he just wasn't ready yet.

“Nothing.. really” you said to him so he looked down and when he looked up his eyes were teary “What is it baby?” You asked him and you took your seat belt off to climb on his lap as you noticed him feeling down.

“Is it okay between us? You feel the same way as you did before you met her?” he asked you so you cupped his cheeks and gave him a smile

“No..i feel different” he looked up at you as you said that “I feel more protective of you now, it must not have been easy growing up around her” he wrapped his arms around you and hugged you tightly as you said that and when he pulled away you kissed him as tenderly as you could but then things heated up quickly, they always did with him, he was simply irresistible whenever you were this close to him.

Every sense of his was in perfect sync with yours.

Hands moved quickly as he rode your dress up and pulled your panties to the side while you unzipped him and pulled out his hard cock to ride away all the bad feelings he had in the moment.

Your hips moved slowly and lips latched to the side of his neck as you marked his soft satin skin.

“Oh darling i love you..” he mumbled as he lowered down the straps of your dress and then moved his hand down to cup one of your breasts,

“I love you my pretty boy” his breath shuddered as you said that “that alright? I can call you that?”

He had mommy issues, as much as he had wanted to deny and ignore all the necessary psychiatric sessions he have had in life he knew he had issues that were rooted so deeply in him by his own mother.

“Am I though? Is that how you feel or you're just trying to make me feel better?” He asked you so you cupped his cheeks and kissed him before you responded to him.

“I'm trying to show you that I love you so much and that you're all I need. You're everything in one man, all that sweetness, that rugged handsomeness, that pretty face, that soft heart that you carry despite having a tough life, you're what dreams are made of and i can't believe I have found you”

He was stunned for a moment before he curled his fingers in your long locks and kissed you passionately.

When later he had revealed to you about what he had been through because of his mother, everything made sense, his insecurities, his behavior around pretty women that resembled his mother, everything connected.

*******

You looked around and he was standing in the corner of a room seemingly stressed and deep in his head so you excused yourself away from Donna and Torres and walked towards him.

“Everything okay?” You asked him so he gave you a smile. He wasn't okay, he just had a very disturbing conversation with a very disturbing man but he didn't want to stress you, especially now when you had come out of the house after such a long time.

“I'm okay, you're having fun?”

“It's …fine. Ummm would you like to dance with me?” You asked him and his brows scrunched in response but then a smile graced his lips. Christmas music was playing in the background so he stepped closer to you and took a hold of your hands to pull you closer to him.

“How's your mother doing?’ you asked him so he shrugged in response.

“I haven't seen her in a while”

“Okay”

He was going to say something to you but then he saw Jake entering the party with Rebecca, as his date or his girlfriend and his mood shifted suddenly. You were surprised to see him with her as well but it didn't really affect you in the way it did Daemon. At Least she wasn't hitting on him anymore, people would think that two women who came out alive and well after such hell would form a strong bond with each other but you and Rebecca never even had a proper conversation after that.

“You knew about that?” You asked him so he shook his head in response. He hadn't told you that she had tried to kiss him recently and now seeing him with Jake made him feel conflicted. Did she even like the guy or was she trying to stay around Daemon himself? He knew that was a possibility, he understood obsession, he had been around it all his life.

“You must be starving darling..go get dinner with your friends. I have to make a few calls” he said to you but he wasn't even looking at you, he was looking at Jake so you hummed in response and as you turned away he grabbed your arm and turned you toward him “Hey I'm right here…I'm not going anywhere”

“Okay..i ..thank you” you mumbled softly as you gave him a smile. He really was trying his best.

As Jake approached Daemon, he observed that Rebecca was clinging to him but she had her eyes on Daemon throughout the night.

Daemon was worried about Jake but he didn't want to interfere in his personal life. Later that night Otto introduced Detective Corlys Velaryon who had just transferred from London to assist Daemon with the case. He seemed like a smug bastard to him but that feeling could have been due to his personal biases.

“I have got my eyes on you” Corlys said to him so Daemon looked at him confused.

“What does that even mean?” He asked the man but only received a cryptic answer in response that he didn't really understand that night.

On the way back home he was quiet again, you had met the new detective that was on the case now and he had asked to take your statement tomorrow again. You knew Daemon was really worried about his position in the police department, this case was the case of his life and now a new shiny detective had joined him and that really wasn't a good look on him. He had worked hard and sacrificed enough to get where he was.

Next morning when you woke up he wasn't at home but he had left a note behind for you to tell you that he had to be at work early. He had slept in his room last night with you, the bedsheet was still creased on his side of the bed so you ran your fingers over the spot. It was getting more and more difficult to be so close to him and not being able to touch him or kiss him the way you used to before. It reminded you of the early stages of your relationship with him---

Daemon was a nice guy, that you knew, so nice that it has been three months and you both haven't done it yet. Of course you made out with him heavily but every time you grabbed his crotch to entice him further he'd put a stop to it. He was a nice guy but he frustrated you at times.

You crawled on top of him so he wrapped his hands around your hips to kiss you, you were on his couch, had just finished a movie together and you really needed his kiss, his touch. Desperately.

“You're such a good kisser” you mumbled against his mouth and he couldn't help but smile, he had never been told these things about himself until he met you.

“Is that so?”

“Mmmhmm…and you smell so good all the time”

“It's the perfume i promise” you giggled as he said that.

Swirling your hips on his crotch you humped him slightly and he let out a loud moan but then he placed his hands on your hips to stop you.

“Please baby…let me do this..give me something, just a taste”

You couldn't believe how whiny your voice had come out, you were on the verge of begging him.

“What if I'm not good at this?” you looked at him curiously as he said that.

“Why would you say that?”

“You'd not like me anymore if I'm not what you have imagined in your head-”

“And what is it that you think I imagine in my head?” You asked him so he sighed.

“I don't know..every woman is different”

“And?”

“I just.. want you to take your time with me…get to know me and love me, and i know this is important, sex is important but- perhaps if you loved me enough you'd be willing to let go of things I don't do right in…umm bed” your brows furrowed as he said that.

“Is that why you have been stalling it? So if the sex is bad I won't leave?”

“I won't blame you if you do-”

“Why do you think you'd be bad at it baby??” You asked him softly as you caressed his cheeks.

“I never know what to do..”

“You're not a Virgin right? It's okay if you are..i just want to know”

“No i…have done it but it wasn't good for the women I was with”

“They told you that?”

“Well one did, the others just stayed quiet and then they ghosted me”

“What do you think it is that you did wrong baby?” you kept your voice tender to not make him feel as if you were judging him, you were just trying to make him open up to you.

“I was too soft, too …normal”

“Some women like that you know”

“Do you?”

“I like all kinds of things”

“Like what? BDSM and stuff?” The way he looked so curious and so innocent when he questioned you made your heart all warm and fuzzy for him.

“What is it that you like, baby?”

“Whatever you'd want.. I'll do it, I just need to be told sometimes”

“And that's how it should be, that's how it's supposed to be, communication is important in bed”

“Yeah?” he said so you nodded in response.

“You didn't answer me” you said to him so he looked at you all wide eyed and perplexed.

“What?”

“What do you like in bed?” You scratched his scalp as you questioned him, his cheeks had gone red as felt on the spot. He had never communicated this way before.

“I like normal, i have thought about you and me” you smiled as he said that

“Mmmhmmm what have you thought about?” you asked as your thumb ran over his plump lips and his breath hitched visibly.

“About loving you and fucking you”

“Mmmmhm do you touch yourself when you're thinking of me?” You mumbled in his ears and he moaned as your hips rolled on his bulge,

“Sometimes..yeah..I do..all the time”

“That's hot.. I like that”

“Really? It's not creepy?”

“It'd be creepy if you weren't thinking about me” you giggled and that made him smile “Where do you do it? On the bed or in the shower? When you're touching yourself do you think of me being there with you?” you asked him and watched his cheeks flush again

“Everywhere..i picture you all naked , your beautiful body rubbing against me..and you're always doing naughty shameful things with me..is that okay?” he murmured against your mouth and you couldn't help but moan in response.

“I'm so obsessed with you my officer– can't you tell by the way I'm so desperate for you?”

He gulped as you said that, his throat went dry at the thought of a pretty girl like you saying such things to him. The more you moved on top of him the more those sensations built in the pit of your stomachs. The way you felt, the sounds you made only made him more and more aroused if it was even possible.

“I'm obsessed with you as well, I think about you all the time and even more so when I'm all alone in bed at nights” you bit on your lips as he said that, you couldn't help but picture his naked body on his bed as he played with himself and thought of you in such obscene ways.

“How's it in your dreams baby? Do you love me softly or you're rough with me?”

“Soft..I like that, I want to treat you the way I feel about you. Love you and protect you even when we are making love. However that is not to say that I won't go to any lengths you want me to just to satisfy you”

“And I need it all from you baby, you act this way and then you fear that you'd not be good at it. I can tell just by the way you speak to me is that you're going to blow my mind in all sorts of ways..oh god yess” you moaned loudly as your orgasm swept over you. He held your hips and helped you move as you rode your high, he couldn't take his eyes off you or the way you seemed so lost in the pleasure at the moment. Once you calmed down a little he grabbed the back of your neck with one of his hands to kiss you deeply.

“What if you're wrong? What if I'm not all that?” You smiled as he asked you that.

“Then I'll teach you baby..I'll teach you everything”

****

Daemon was at his mother's house and he couldn't stop glaring at her as she prepared tea for him. When she couldn't take his eyes on him anymore she spoke,

“What do you want, baby?” She asked him so he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

“What is it that I don't know about your life huh? What are you hiding?” He asked her a riddling question but the way she began to fiddle and sweat was somehow similar to how the suspects behaved whenever they were guilty.

“What do you even mean baby?”

“Stop calling me baby ..I'm not a fucking baby..answer my damn questions mother”

He raised his voice and she was taken aback by his tone, she had put him through hell and back, she knew that too but she was sick before, she got medicated, she got better and Daemon had never talked to her this way, he kept his distance and didn't get emotionally attached to her but he never raised his voice like that

“Get out of my house” she told him sternly so he chuckled before he turned around and left. He knew she was hiding something from him, the way the killer talked to him made him believe that there was something personally linked between him and the killer.

As he reached the precinct his day only got worse. Corlys made him sit down in the enquiry room to ask him questions about the case, the discussion could have happened on their desks itself.

“Wait, am I under the investigation? I am being recorded?” He asked Corlys to which Corlys answered with a smile.

“I have every reason to do so young man..you know the drill, just answer the questions and you have right to the lawyer if you feel the need”

“This is ridiculous. Does Otto know?” Daemon glared at him and the smile on Corlys's face was replaced with anger.

“Of course he does. Tell me something, I'm reading the witness report here, the surviving victims Rebecca and y/n stated that their assailant had hazel eyes?” Daemon couldn't help but chuckle at the accusation.

“Yeah, so do the million other people on earth. Your point?”

“Nothing. It's interesting, don't you think?”

“Well that's something i needed to–” Daemon was trying to tell him about the call he received but Corlys cut him off midway.

“Don't interrupt me. Answer what you are being asked..“Y/n Y/l/n ..the surviving victim..saw her yesterday at the Christmas party with you. Are you dating one of the victims?” Daemon's jaw clenched as he mentioned you.

“I'm not dating her, I have known her for seven years”

“Oh so she's a friend?”

“She was a girlfriend, that ended two years ago”

“I see, so was she the one to do the leaving?”

“That's none of your business “

“It is my business, must have hurt huh, especially after the life you had. Oh yes, I went through your whole life history. Abused child of a mother who wanted to turn him into a girl–”

“That has nothing to do-”

“Kids bullied you mercilessly in school when they found out about your mother. Got arrested for selling drugs at fifteen. Three years in juvenile detention and with your history they went easy on you. Then you applied for the forces but got rejected continuously for years which led you to do low level jobs until you were finally taken in for the traffic officer post, am i right?”

“Correct”

“All of this must make you angry huh, the constant abuse and rejection, hell broke loose when the only woman who cared enough about you also left you” Daemon slammed his fist on the table as Coryls kept riling him up.

“You're talking shit you know that? I can't begin to tell you how wrong you are”

“Am i though? Tell me why is it that those three women died so brutally and then you somehow..magically received a tip that too anonymously when your ex girlfriend was taken?”

“I am refusing to speak without my lawyer”

He knew whatever he says now will be somehow used against him. He couldn't believe he was under suspicion after all these years in the service but then Corlys's questions made sense. Nobody had seen the barber killer, he was the one to bump into him, he had the similar build as the killer in the footage he had taken out from Tesco, he had similar eyes that both surviving victims had mentioned, he was the one to clue the word mother together, he was the one to receive the location and unluckily for him the killer was gone when the team had arrived at the location, no trace of DNA was recovered from the victims or the killer's lair.

In the lights of everything he truly seemed like a suspect. The abuse he had suffered due to his mother only added the fuel to the burning fire, his past pointed towards him being a troubled and disturbed man from deep within who must despise young beautiful women and perhaps he finally snapped when he got his heart broken.

“I had high hopes for you as a detective, but here you are just seeing what's in front of you and what is so painfully obvious” Daemon said to him to which Corlys responded with a smile.

“Don't you worry, Targaryen.. I'll get to the root of it and I'll make sure you're rotting behind the bars by the time I'm done with you”

Corlys spoke to him before Daemon got up and left the room. On the way out Otto looked at him with sympathy but Daemon ignored him and went to his desk. He felt everyone's eyes on him and that made him feel like that kid in school who got bullied everyday. They were talking about him behind his back, raising questions on his integrity and character.

He knew his seniors would try to get him off the case now that the conflict of interest could arise since apparently he was a suspect himself now. The only suspect.

He saw Rebecca coming in for the questioning later and she gave him a sly smile before she went in, and then he saw you enter the station. You looked at him but before he could say anything to you they took you in for the questioning.

Corlys's first few questions were generic, the same as Daemon had asked before to you but then things took a turn,

“Why do you think it is that the killer went easy on you but he made Rebecca's life hell in there?” Corlys asked you so you looked at him.

“He said it was because she screamed alot and I didn't –”

“So you took it and didn't complain, is what you're saying?”

Your eyes teared up as he said that.

“Yes”

He asked you a few more questions to which you responded with simply yes or no, he was trying to divert the questions towards Daemon and it was only when you went home was when you realized what was happening in there. They were trying to frame Daemon for these murders, there was a killer on the loose out there and they were trying to frame an innocent man.

And apparently Rebecca had said some incriminating stuff about Daemon in her statement as well which only made things worse for him.

“Daemon” you entered his room because you felt really worried about him, he was standing near the window just staring outside mindlessly so you walked closer to him and stood next to him. “I'm so sorry for what–”

“Do you think I could do this to you? Hurt you the way that–” He couldn't even finish his words, his voice was low and eyes welled up as he spoke to you so you meddled yourself between the window and his body to cup his cheeks and wipe his tears.

“He raped me” he wrapped his arms around you to hug you as you said that and that's when he broke down finally.

“He beat me up the first night, stripped me naked and then he raped me” you pulled away from him to cup his cheeks, fingers continuously wiped his tears as you did “He was on top of me for days, sometimes several times a day, he was all in my face, do you think i wouldn't recognise you if it was you?” He looked at you as you said that. He was afraid that you'd doubt him too, that you would look at him suspiciously and would be afraid to be around him now.

“You really think that i won't recognise your scent? Or the way your body felt on top of me? The way you made me feel whenever you loved me? I know you, I have known you for years and that's all the truth I need to know okay? I'm the last person who'd ask for any justification from you”

You wrapped your arms around him and hugged him as tightly as you could, he didn't deserve this after everything he has been through, he was as honest as they come and now they had tarnished his image and his position in the police force on mere suspicions.

As you got into his bed you held onto him the way you used to, with his head resting on your breasts and your fingers running through his hair you tried to comfort him until he fell asleep.

Daemon hired Torres as his lawyer, he was taken off the case and suspended from the job until he was found not guilty. He had officially become the prime suspect in the barber killer case and you knew he wasn't taking it well.

Corlys Velaryon was hell bent on proving that Daemon was the one to orchestrate these murders due to his internal hatred for women but he had no solid evidence as for now that could incriminate him..

“He called me, at the Christmas party i received a call from the bastard” your eyes widened as he said that.

“What did he say?”

“He asked me to give regards to my mother the next time I see her” You didn't understand what that meant until Daemon spoke further “He didn't say your mother, he just said mother as if she was his mother --”

“Yeah my mother, i love her, do you like her y/n? Do you think she's nice? You have met her quite a few times i assume”

You remembered what the killer had said to you. You stood up and looked at Daemon contemplating for a moment whether you should say it or not but you knew you had to make him think of that possibility.

“What if your mother is…his mother as well and she raised him the way she raised you...like a girl?”

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

Taglist

@daddylokisqueen @iamavailablesstuff @123forgottherest @mcufan72 @shuichiakainx @avalyaaa @ajthefujoshi @tatertati-fangirl @urmomsgirlfriend1 @fudge134 @stupidthoughtsinwriting @ammo23

@hangmanscoming

[isleofair]

Thank you so much for the tag, @applescabs!!! 🥰💚

Are you named after anyone? After, of all things, a 15th century noblewoman (whom I always thought was a saint, but actually wasn't, I just found out!) My mom saw an amazing statue of her on a trip and loved it, and her name, so much that she named me after her.

When was the last time you cried? I teared up a little yesterday when I got my friend's wedding invitation in the mail. The last time I properly cried was... huh. I think a couple of weeks ago, watching TV. That's a fair amount of time for me to go without crying, so go me!

Do you have kids? No, and I don't want any.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? A bit less than I used to, and not a lot in general. Only when I think it will be funny, or when I need to make an underhanded comment about something that ticked me off but I can't do much about.

What sports do you play? None. I am a very inactive person, sadly. I hope I can at least start going on more walks as the season keeps warming up.

What’s the first thing you notice about people? If they seem friendly or not.

What’s your eye colour? A very, very dark brown.

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings all the way. I can't handle scary stuff very well at all. 🫣

Any special talents? I'm fairly good at languages (I learned them easily in school and I usually have a decent shot at figuring out what a word might mean if it's in a language that has at least some relation to the ones I know/have studied). Sadly, the only one I'm still fluent in (besides Italian, of course) is English, because it's the only one I use regularly.

Where were you born? Italy, smack dab in the middle of the top part of the boot, lol

What are your hobbies? Writing fic, reading fic, scrolling Tumblr, playing video games (mostly just Pokémon), playing D&D, and very occasionally drawing or weaving bracelets or assembling jigsaw puzzles.

Do you have any pets? My two cats, Sasha and Misha 🥹🥹 They're tabby-and-white twins, they're almost 5 years old, and they're the ones I come home to. 💚💚

How tall are you? 164cm, although sometimes when I'm in a hurry I just say 1.65m 😅

Favourite subject in school? All the sciences and Math, though I also liked English when I started having it as a subject.

Dream job? Writing a single novel, or a trilogy or something like that, that becomes inexplicably popular, gets a movie deal, and gives me enough residuals to potentially live comfortably while bumming around on my couch writing fanfic for the rest of my life.

I am tagging (but only if they want to answer, zero pressure, as usual!) @nicoroni, @imaginatorofthings, @zimithrus1, @thekuraning, @saltedpin, @horikoshi-secret-ao3-account, @damedanedameyodamenanoyo, and anyone else who sees this and wants to play! 💖💖💖

[crestfallercanyon]

Kristen is so fucking relatable as a repressed teenager jfc. I am both horrified and in awe of Ally Beardsley’s playing of Kristen Applebees — Kristen is a MESS but she’s a lovable mess who I’m glad everyone’s kind exasperatedly supporting. I knew plenty of people like her in my school or going through this wild renaissance of new information about themselves (or that they wouldn’t let themselves learn about who they were) and it’s just really uplifting to see Kristen have such good friends through it all (though her speech started sweet and very swiftly needed to be shut down lol) but I know lots of people might like really regard her as frustrating and awful but she’s a teenager who is going through a lot of changes and crises of faith and persona and I just gah. I love her.

Fig and her care toward her two dads is adorable, every interaction with Gilear is gold (also props to Gilear for recognizing Sklonda is too much woman for him) but also the mantras in the mirror were so sweet. I also love how Gilear interacts with all of Fig’s friends and how Fig asserts herself and just wants the best for literally everyone. Yes she is very mischievous (also holy shit her deception skill is so fucking high??) but she’s mischievous on the path of good and I love it.

Fabian makes me sad. Like, he wants to impress his dad but he wants to be his own man. And Bill Seacaster — I still don’t know what to make of him— but being around someone whose mood is entirely unreliable (and assuredly that bleeds into other aspects of him) no wonder Fabian tries so hard to be strong and stable because he’s had to deal with instability his whole life.

Gorgug — I’ve talked about Gorgug a few times now but he’s just such a sweetheart. He called himself stupid and that’s tragic because he may not be the one figuring out all the clues and know what to do but he’s also the one they can rely on to diffuse a situation or just be kind about unknown things and as a barbarian that’s a huge tonal shift that’s so impressive. He’s not the brightest bulb but he may be the sweetest and that matters.

Adaine and her whole sibling rivalry gives me life. I’m glad she’s rebelling against her parents. She became powerful and wonderful and adept DESPITE her parents (whereas Aelwyn always had their full support) and I think that’s something that — while painfully — I hope she’ll learn to carry with pride.

Also Riz? One, he’s such a great like awkwardly confident teenager, and I’m glad he responded to his mom’s hiding of information the way he did (I love that him and Sklonda are like— healthy parent/child relationship) (also love how Brennan plays Sklonda), but he takes this with stride and won’t let all the things dragging him down hold him back and I’m sure for Sklonda that’s both amazing and scary because she wants her son safe but it just warms my heart to see.

And the teamwork here!!! Kristen and Adaine detecting magic and good here? Gorgug trying to find a power source for the palimpsest. THE BIZ REVEAL?? Also Riz’s final move here to take the palimpsest and then pull the gun with Biz!!! That was fucking AMAZING, because of course he’s not cool with what Biz is doing and I also I want Riz and Adaine both to absolutely tear Biz apart.

Adaine and Riz teamups are truly my beloved — like go you angry intelligent kids, go go go!

Honestly all of them — I’m so excited for this fight at the arcade let’s get it.

[gh0stb0ne]

this is all probably gonna sound so cheesy but fantasy high is genuinely one of my favorite series of all time.

i started watching right around the time i was starting high school and while obviously it isn’t just like high school, but just seeing all the bad kids become the most unlikely of friends warmed my heart so much, seeing all of them become friends made me hope to find friends like that one day and i did! it showed me that no matter how different i might feel i could find people who accept me for who i am and we all love and care for each other so much!!

not only that, it also made me feel understood and seen (ik that’s corny shh) with characters like gorgug and ayda. when i first started watching it i related to gorgug IMMEDIATELY. like seeing a character who was just like me, an awkward kid who didn’t have a lot of friends and struggled to make them. seeing him learn to open up and make new friends made me so happy because it made me realize that i don’t need to stay in my shell either and high school will be awful if i don’t get out of my comfort zone. with ayda seeing the bad kids be so pacient with her and not make fun of her or her autism made me so happy. just seeing an autistic character not be treated like they are dumb and incapable of doing anything was so refreshing. seeing her talk or do things that i related to just truly so amazing because i had barely seen any characters like her before. just aaaaaa she means so much to me.

im done with my late night ramble lol. i just needed to get this out of my system. thank you dropout and everyone in dimension 20 for always making amazing shows!!

[tongjingnian2point0]

Wow! That video was amazing! I am not familiar with Halsey, is this a mix of two songs? How did you do it? How was the collaboration process? Would you tell how this project came to be? It's do perfect how the lyrics line up with the frames!

Hi there! Thanks for your questions🥰 Glad you come asking! As soon as I saw your question, I know I'm gonna give a very long answer whether you want it or not ;)))) So here is my answer & I hope you like it.

To answer your question, first, yes they are remix of two different songs. One called Drive, and the other is Colors. I didn't do the remix, as I wrote in the details on YouTube. I had the idea to do it myself tho, because these two songs are very similar, and I was thinking why not mix them together? And when I searched it, I found one already exist. (& regretfully, it's not a collaboration (but I'd love to do collaboration works if I get the chance :) I wouldn't say it's how I'll remix it, but I love this verson too, and I can see the images poping into my head the second I heard it, so I went with it.

But if you're wondering about my process about the whole project (except the music of course), I never have a complicated process, was just following my structure step by step after thinking repeatedly and certain I wanted to do it that way.

This project didn't come out of blue. Actually I've thought about it for maybe a year or two before I get started.

The inspiration come straight from Halsey's Drive, and that whole album gives me a vibe of pure blue. I don't have synaesthesia, but I can always 'see' a lot of editing of my otp when I listen to musics.

To me, the core of SamnDean is the never ending road trip, exhaustion and everlasting love burning under the sun, especially in the early seasons. The color blue represents the feeling in my mind, and deep blue also gives me the vibe of 'haunting', just like wincest. Although they were apart when Sam was in Stanford, the memories were still haunting them from thousand miles away. And even when they're together, they're still haunted by their thoughts and feelings, just like when they were kids.

So Drive and the scenes of SamnDean came to me naturally when I heard the lyrics, especially when it came to the mutual pining and angst. And the pride mentioned in Drive is so canonned, SamnDean both have their pride, and from my understanding, that's part of the reason why they always end up hurting each other and their feelings.

Originally, I tried with two different songs, because they're both so related to wincest.

But Ride is more about 'I', and Drive is more about 'Us' like what I see in wincest. They are an indivisible whole, 'conjoined-twin' like they mentioned.

Besides, because I decided the color that represent that period is blue, I went to listen Colors again to find more inspiration, and that's when I found the melodies of these two songs are similar and wanted to do a remix (and you know what was going on with the bgm later).

Then, about the scenes and storyboard, like I said, I contemplated it for a long time and thought about it repeatedly, that I believe it's already refined in my head. I cannot give a exact process of how these ideas getting together, because it's been too long, and I don't remember where I started or how they mixed together. But what makes me wanted to do this is the line 'would it really kill you if we kissed?'

I'm not sure you've known me before, but I've tried to just paint one illustration with this line echo in my head, since I know it'll be so troublesome to start a goddamn video with just a blank canvas. But it didn't work, I still have this song in my head, and the non-exist storyboard was yelling at me, telling me to finish it.

So when I had a large block of free time, I started to decide which shots in my mind were suitable for the video and drew them into storyboards, with the change of music (from Drive to Drive and Colors).

Also, the change of lyrics gave me a new perspective. To me, the first line in Colors 'Your little brother never tells you but he loves you so' is more about Sam's POV, but from 'everything is blue', I see Dean. And re-read the whole lyrics, instead of making an ordinary one, I decided it'll have the different pov from Sam & Dean (I hope some of you realized it and know what I'm talking about here).

There still were changes from the draft to the final painting, but comparing to how many things I'll change when it comes to illustrations, it's nothing. It's more likely that I thought about it so often that there wasn't a lot to change when I finally started drawing.

About lyrics tho... I need to confess that I change some of it to make it more fitting. Also, I heard some wrong because I never read lyrics (oops)... so I didn't realize that I interpreted some wrong, until I was editing the video and searched it😅 But why not changing it? It sounds so similar with what I thought it was (like the way Halsey read 'you liked me' just like 'you are light to me'... I also wanted to mention the 'your laugh echos down the highway' one, but I found there are two different version so)

So yes, about some part of the lyrics fitting too well, blame my wild imagination 😉 xx

Anyway, I hope this answered your questions! Thanks for asking again, and if you wanna ask about something else you're more than welcomed to come back here! Hope you have a good day :)

the animation

[tae-rhymeswithslay]

TMNT: COLOR CODED Casey Jones

colorcoded au by @camilieroart

im so sorry, it doesn’t really look like him, but I tried 😭. I chose a skating pose, but it took me wayy too long to realize that none of the official drawings of Casey have him in skates, so i just followed those. I also tried to combine his normal clothes with his battle outfit bc i just couldn’t decide which one to draw him in

I literally have SO much to say about this Casey! this little rant is probably gonna go on for way too long lol (feel free not to read)

props to @camilieroart for writing this amazing au bc ive been obsessed ever since i saw it in passing on instagram.

Casey has always been my favorite tmnt character. Ever. Hands down. There was something about him that I just adored. As a kid and even now. That being said, finding a version of Casey that was so much like me was like an early Christmas. I was already sucked in to the AU since like, last year when I found it for the first time. But I only recently read through Casey’s backstory and found out that he was korean, which only made me double down on how much I loved his character in Colorcoded.

(I really hope this next part doesn’t come off as narcissistic, its really just me full of admiration for this character and AU)

It was incredible to see a version of my favorite character like EVER (not even joking) that looked a lot like me and came from a background a lot like mine. Beyond just his skin tone being dark and matching mine (which I think I commented about already) this Casey seriously feels like looking into a mirror of myself from a few years ago. Both visually and mentally. It’s refreshing to see Korean characters that aren’t reduced to the asian standards of beauty, but still look like their ethnicity, because we absolutely DO exist. From my darker skin color to even my wide nose shape which I share with this Casey, I was told constantly as a kid (by other koreans mind you) that I didn’t ‘look korean enough’. So it’s nice to see those features that made me so insecure growing up presented in someone I admired during that same period of time. Even Casey’s hair looks so much like the cut I had/was forced to get (lol) growing up, down to the M shaped bangs. Though I wasn’t allowed to grow out my hair like Casey has in the back, it was something I always wanted to do as a kid. I even got into ice skating BECAUSE of Casey, like, I adore him so so much.

Though I’m lucky enough to have a family much healthier than Casey’s, I still found myself relating a lot to him in terms of his Korean-American identity. Growing up, my parents wanted me to learn as much English as possible as opposed to Korean, but they switched mindsets when it came to my younger sister (Yeah! i’ve also got a younger sister too, and by just EXTREME coincidence, she also has a similar sounding name Hae-in 해인) so she speaks a lot more Korean than I do. I still struggle a little bit when speaking conversational Korean, even though it’s technically my ‘first’ language lol. My family even calls me by my english name and my sister by her Korean name. I’m not sharing my legal name online, but i’ve got the same deal as Casey where I’ve got an English legal name, but also an unofficial korean name which was REALLY surprising to read, because literally none of my korean friends have the same name situation. Beyond little nit-picky things (that don’t even count as mistakes, really) in his conversations with his sister, you got the Korean conversations down really well (like, the cadence and grammar and stuff, idk how to explain it, but it really sounds like a conversation i might’ve had with my little cousins, just translated)

TLDR: i absolutely ADORE this Casey and I see just SO much of myself in him. He is wonderfully written as a character and you nailed his korean-american identity to a T (according to me and my personal experiences at least)

SORRY FOR THE RANT

:)

[tuliptic]

“You keep me awake at night,” they said, But why? How?

Piles go from up to down, pictures are drawn by me, everything is literally by me. And I do not consent to my work being used by third parties in other websites as well.

Now. Breathe in with me, and then breathe out. Picked your pile? Let’s find out what are the answers. PAC idea by @nikolaiiy btw I need to give my niece some recognition here too.

Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it. 

Content warning: Mentions of sex without details. Just to let y’all know beforehand.

Decks used: Luna Cat Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Kawaii Tarot Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck, self made decks.

Pile 1

Hey Pile 1! Your person thinks of you as their whole world, and that you’re their source of joy and beauty. You bring colours into their lives but this person of yours but they just… Don’t know how to deal with it. See, they have a lot of conflicting thoughts, and sometimes you guys have arguments that can be pretty harsh, creating discomfort between you two. You both have legit points but sometimes it just happens. And in late nights when they’re all alone, they will be replaying the scenes, trying to see it from your point of view, trying to see how they can make it up to you if it’s their mistake.

You remind them of their childhood, probably their ideal type when they were a kid, since we have a childhood card here. They probably had a dream of dancing with their future spouse and just wanted to ask you out for a dance some day, though I have no idea how and when but yeah. Or maybe you can ask them out for a dance in the living room with some nice music playing. That would be great too!

Your person doesn’t tell you their thoughts, their fantasies they have for you cuz they’re afraid of you judging them, so there’s this fear that I’m seeing where they worry if you leave them, since you’re such an amazing person and there may be other suitors who are interested in you. They’re a sensitive person and can be slightly low in their self-esteem, questioning how someone as wonderful as you would be interested in them.

Dear Pile 1, I hope you understand that these MAY be the thoughts that goes through the mind of your person, and I wish and pray that you’ll be able to give them the assurance they need and help them little by little with their self esteem. As someone who’s been through that, personally, I know that self esteem is something that can’t be built overnight. Your person is also working on it with the Magician at the bottom of the deck. It will work if you both work together.

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Pile 2

Hello Pile 2! Your person is a huuuuuge sweetheart who’s deadass thinking of getting married to you. They think of you as their whole world and just want to proceed into the next stage of life/relationship with you even in the earlier months of dating. I honestly have no idea what else to say. The cards flipped themselves out and just wanted you to know that your person loves you like there’s no tomorrow, as the Lovers and Two of Cups came out. These two cards are one of the best to pop up when there’s a love related reading and… Here they are!

Not to mention there’s also Juno, a card that talks about partnership, which further solidifies my suspicions of them wanting to marry you. They honestly can’t wait and may even practice marriage proposals inside their head. They are imagining how the lives of you two together may be, how it’s like for them to be walking into a new future with you, how it is like to achieve a common goal (family) together. 

You make them weak. The thought of you just makes them have giddy smiles all over, not giving a single care if anyone sees them looking like a starstruck fool. It makes sense tho, seeing how you’ve freed them from whatever that has been holding them back, allowing them to charge forward to pursue you.

Your person is shy to ask for the reciprocation of their feelings. It’s like… They love you a lot, and a little love from you can keep them continuing to love you more and more as the days pass by. They won’t feel defeated as long as you’re by their side. Remember to love them as much as they love you okay?

For some reason, it feels like your person has an air of authority and mystery over them? They’re probably someone who’s also authoritative at work or the more dominant person in the relationship, steering and guiding you through the ups and downs of this relationship.

Dear Pile 2, I can see your person is really reaaalllllyyyyy wanting to marry you You’ll need to remember to voice out your thoughts if you’re not interested in marriage, or you’re not ready for that yet.

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Pile 3

Yo Pile 3! Not gonna lie, your pile is giving me sexy and nsfw vibes. Your person is probably someone older than you and much experienced in you in any and every way, life or even sex. This pile literally made me have that 👀 eyes cuz the cards are giving me that energy (cues KAI’s Mmmh). They wanted to do so many things to you, but they had to hold back, because they know you’re still inexperienced. They had to stop themselves from thinking about it cuz it makes them slightly upset that they got to take things slow even when they love you so much, but they’re willing to wait. They’re willing to court you. They mean it. They love you so much that they’re willing to put their wants aside.

You make them weak in the knees, they’re literally weak for you. There will be some indecisiveness on thinking where do they want to bring you, or what y’all should do for the next date, or what to eat when y’all hang out the next time. This is because they want to give you the best, not to mention that you’re always in their head. In the end, they’ll just stop being indecisive and decide that doing all of them would be the best option.

As smart as they may be, they’re always imagining scenes in their head and practicing the words they want to say to you. It’s like they have no idea how to really charm you with their words when you’re with them and they’re determined to do it better. The best way to do it? Imaginary practice. Though they still might fail cuz I have a feeling that you’re the type to act slightly different from what they expected.

Dear Pile 3, you are their source of fun, their source of joy, and they just want to achieve every single happiness and to enjoy them with you, their beloved. They just want to experience everything with you and want you by their side to be participating in their life. It’s a cute energy yet a hot one at the same time I don’t know how this is possible.

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Thanks for reading until the end! Feedbacks and reblogs are appreciated!

Y’all can drop by my Instagram here if you’re interested as well! I’ll be posting different types of PACs over there in the future but will also post more here I guess lmAO

[daystarvoyage]

I often see fans demonize some characters like Belos,The Blights, Camila, into far worse versions of themselves like fans portraying Camila as abusive since she wants Luz go to Reality Check Camp to correct her behavior and certain people interpret that of her sending her to a conversation therapy camp or the Blights while they are bad parents for sure they are sometimes depicted as physically abusive or homophobic despite that sort of thing not existing in the boiling isles and Finally Belos gets made into a bigot who is sexist,racist, homophobic because he a white Christian male despite not making any insults for Luz being a woman or POC while his stance of sexual orientation or gender identity is unknown the fact he didn’t insult Luz for being a woman or POC is remarkable progressive for a Man who is born in the 1600’s also He FICTIONAL and we already have enough of those people in real life what do you think?

I do say this, people need to start separating the art from the artist and fantasy from reality,

this type of writing and fictional perspective, a lot of viewers and fans sit through, its been done throughout animation, Even in real life affecting how we see our adult figures.

hope i say this, the best way i can cause the show did the adults and supporting characters dirty with its ill pacing in storytelling and character exposure

The Fans Of their favorite media love to exaggerate disliked characters (be it villains or unpopular ones) cause of how there perceived physically or in writing in the creator's eyes. We get this at the start of the first episode introducing Camila (whos a great mother who I relate to cause, I also was on the spectrum being raised by a single mom) I feel I look at her as a character who carries a burden with her being a single mother) yet relatable cause she does her best to take care of her daughter on earth cause she to is a single mother protecting her daughter from the harsh reality cause its not all huckydorey (like the ending of the show),when she wants luz to conform. the way fans see luz assomeone needing protecting, might villanize camila firsthand(DEMONIZING ADULT MOMENT BY FANDOM) as a cheerful person luz is, fans forget that she's also impressionable, impulsive, don't think far on consequneces and needy, might gloss over the fact she needs proper mannerisms (to get by in the world at times), cause shes young & fits the viewers mold of perception, that no one should be punished cause of sexuality, it might show she doesn't need help. Let's be clear the fans are gonna gloss the fact shes a troublemaker who brings harmful items to school WHICH fans should be concerned, i mean neurodivergent character doesn't mean good personality,

2. The blight situation I swear they did Odalia dirty with this GRRR & how talented and amazing Rachel MacFarlane is (Her VA voicing hayley from American Dad.)

She also over exaggerated for being ( DEMONIZED BY FANDOM cause SHE's an ADULT) to being just an abusive mother, but however others will see it is a character who was a dark and humorous character at least & she has great writing tools to be & alador was just a plot device to make amity look good even the twins, & get rid of odalia even though her had his hand in amity's abuse, which I feel no one in the blight fam is not innocent (neither was amity, also which the twins didn't get fleshed out more & used as plot device for lumity, Which fans at times gloss over. Fans will over-exaggerate that Odalia was physically abusive to the kids but NEVER WAS! cause that's a negative perception on the fandom that (We have a adult hater situation nowadays of how this new age of Gen Z & alpha kids are raised,

i also wrote a post on the matter btw

The Belos Treatment (we al know how the creator treated him, such good potential DOwn the Drain.)

Bruh or GiIIIRRRRLL, I commend the Belos fans for being on their own ship supporting and adding more to his BG in fanfic & art

Belos was an intriguing villain who rivaled not only Frollo, the horned king, & Prof. Screweyes. This man also has a perception amongst the fans who followed the creator's way of how he was written (basically the new Chloe bourgeois treatment from miraculous.) He was only a character who was hell-bent on piping witches out and saving his humankind NOT BEING Racist Homophobic, or BIgoted, However, Chloe made racist & prejudiced remarks To Marinette in the cooking episode,(BUT BELOS DIDNT!) So he's an equal villain Who is all about equal rights means equal fights (falls under the neutral evil cause of how he was depicted into a person of tragedy upbringing to now a one-sided character (getting tired of how creators write villains in a one-sided manner.) oh and some people need proper knowledge of the 1600s cause belos was born in that era and I heard someone saying he was born in 1700s which I feel the show does suffer from anachronisms.

And don't get me started of how the fans go about Darius cause that has angry black man written all over it, along Manny being ONLY relevant in Luz's dire moment not being explored more,

hope i put down a lot of tea & crumpets for everyone hope you also can look at my video essay on my YouTube.

hope you enjoy comment and subscribe for more.