#it's done now and my brain can move on

[aroaceleovaldez]

we should make Nico more fucked up, actually. enough woobifying him. that boy should be covered in blood and viscera

[exhuastedpigeon]

You're an angel, I'm a dog Or you're a dog and I'm your man You believe me like a god I destroy you like I am I'm sorry I'm the one you love No one will ever love me like you again - I'm Your Man, Mitski

[applestorms]

keep thinking about this page, particularly in conjunction with this post discussing ciel's use of his three wishes when originally creating the guidelines for their contract. to quote:

I love that Ciel gets three wishes from Sebastian and he used them all to make Sebastian into someone he can trust: never lie to him, always follow his orders, protect him and never betray him. He’s a traumatized child with self esteem issues and trust issues, so perhaps it’s only to be expected—but I think that if it had been anyone else; for example if r!Ciel was the one who survived, he might not have necessarily asked for something like these.

the question of Trust when it comes to o!ciel, and specifically who he feels that he can trust following the incredible violation of his faith that occurs throughout his time in the cult, is interesting enough as is-- but especially so when it comes to the topic of his relationship with sebastian specifically.

to state this more directly: i don't think these two points at all contradict one another. ciel isn't lying here when he says that sebastian is the one he can trust the least-- that is exactly why he felt the need to use his wishes to make sebastian any degree of trustworthy in the first place.

you could almost say that what ciel actually trusts has hardly anything to do with sebastian himself, but instead o!ciel's own ability to control him. that's essentially the gamble he's staking his life on-- that sebastian will respect the guidelines of their contract just long enough for o!ciel to enact his revenge the way that he wants to.

the fact that he takes the Earl Ciel Phantomhive name in the process of all this can't be ignored either. ultimately, the one thing that o!ciel can still put his faith in is that of Ciel-- the one person who was always on his side, always supporting him and pulling him along, and never betrayed him.

initially, anyway. clearly, by now, the title has grown to encompass more than the body or memories of the individual it was originally tied to-- the significance is in the Title, the Idea, the spirit and memory and grief entrusted within it. the soul, even? though perhaps that's pushing it a little too much. r!ciel is never coming back, and no recreation, no matter how accurate, could ever truly be him. death is final, and absolute-- it must be.

point is, the trust issues run deep, for obvious reasons. still, i think o!ciel definitely does trust sebastian to some degree-- probably more than he cares to, considering how reliant he is on him and how they've been mutually twisting into something more and more codependent as the years go on, but still. he made this contract at his lowest point, when his trust and faith in Anything was at an all time low-- but o!ciel isn't locked in a cage anymore. which will it be, to win out in the end? conscious, logical aversion to the indescribably powerful being you've sold yourself to? or the incredible force of habit, sinking you back into the comfortable routine of master and servant, give and take?

frankly, in the case of o!ciel this is a pretty fucking obvious answer to me-- he has never once demonstrated himself to give up so easily, and especially not when he has already commit himself so far, to a goal so clear and distinct. on the other side, in the case of sebastian, though... i suppose we'll just have to see how much that demonic hunger tempers whatever sympathy he can scrounge up for the human that entertains him the most.

[raindropsonwhiskers]

Welp. I guess I have new blorbos now.

[ragnars-tooth]

so very quick and sketchy but i was getting vague designs for all the tldc ladies down in one place

not so sure on gwendolen and gwilanna and i havent looked back at the books for details yet but these were just a quick cool down for the night 🫶

[queerofthedagger]

my 'hey yes we have an all-consuming brainrot going but let's try and do something actually productive this week that I'm having off of work' project is sorting through my bookshelves, rigorously throwing things out (little miss I own over a thousand books in my one-room apartment is reaching the breaking point aka I'm finally and utterly running out of space) and i think i threw out almost a hundred books today and it's still not anywhere close for sorting shelves by genre without having to stack and put things second row. how am I supposed to live like this

[izzy-b-hands]

my back really hates enthusiasm. woke up not eager but ready to get started on multiple things at once and it really said 'oh? you want to be able to move without pain? fuck you'

But fuck my back say I, bc I can work on the grocery pick up while laying down. Check mate, you... spine.

(turns out nothing i can think of to say/type to shame my spine sounds effective. it all just sounds vaguely clinical lmao)

[orcelito]

Second day of moving... done!!! And now all my furniture is in my new apartment!!! I still have a lot to do with rearranging things and sorting thru boxes and unpacking. And also going back to my old apartment to Finish packing and moving everything I didnt get to before. But it's already been pretty nice staying in the new apartment. I got the internet set up today, and it's working great! Also went to the grocery to pick up a few more essentials. Let the cats out finally, and they've been having A Time poking around and being SoScared. But they seem to be relaxing, bit by bit. Hoping they'll come sleep on my bed with me, rather than just coming and visiting.

Tomorrow, I wanna finish arranging my furniture and take a trip to my old apartment to do a carload of packing and moving boxes. Gotta pick up some more boxes first, but that's no big deal. Also wanna look for a new shower head while im there. Idk if I'll buy one yet, but I took my first shower at the new apartment today, and while I love the shower itself, I do NOT like the shower head. It's like... got a weird empty spot right in the middle??? It seems like a shower head for tall people. Not for me. But ive already been told that I can change out the shower head if I like, so I wanna see what stuff they've got at home depot...

I also wanna go bowling. It's been nearly a week. And ive been so busy and stressed. I deserve a bowling trip. Assuming my body doesnt hurt too much tomorrow for it 😂😂

[brains-out-rn]

I don't like debating much(unless necessary for the sake of my own humanity) but sometimes it can be really Really fun specifically if it's about something that has absolutely no real weight to it(and yet if you were a spectator it might cause some concern for whatever reason)

for example: would you rather be threatened(physically mentally or emotionally take your pick) by a can of corn or a cob of corn?

Me personally I'd pick cob for a few reasons

1. I can outlast it(probably)

Fresh corn will eventually rot and decay but have you seen how long canned stuff can last unopened before it looks slightly different from new stuff??

2. Cans are made of metal not vegetable flesh

While a corn cob has its core that's not metal. Ever dropped a can? Might get a dent. If you have a good kick then you might survive but you will probably hurt your foot. Ever dropped corn? If it had it outer leaves and hair it might have stood a chance but if it didn't then bits of corn go everywhere

3. Actually fighting if needed

I feel like I could survive a fight with a sentient can but a sentient cob just seems less likely to hurt

However there are some things might change my decision

Like issue one which is how the corn moves because if the cob is fresh with hair and leaves and can move all the little hairs individually and can move the leaves then I'd probably choose the can because at that point I feel like it's less of "how would i survive with the least amount of bruising" and more of "how would I rather die but with a chance of surviving" and in my opinion i think blunt force trauma would be better then a slow death of strangulation via a sentient corns hair plus I do think I'd have a chance against a can of corn

Another issue is if it was mentally or emotionally I'd probably go with the can bc I feel like it would be easier for to rationalize it as ridiculous to be threatened by a can of corn then a cob for some reason

Like a cob is ridiculous to the point that I'd just accept it as making sense for that to happen?

a can is like "why am I listening to the can of corn. I literally own a can opener." But a cob is more like "if I were to try and deal with you in the traditional way of dealing with corn that would mean a pot and water and time and-"

Plus idk why but I feel like a cob would be less mean with its words. I can't explain it I just think cob would just go straight to physical threats instead of emotional ones but a can would stare at you menacingly making you question yourself and just judging you

[dailykugisaki]

Day 194 | id in alt

She was gonna just gonna give a thrift the clothes she no longer wanted but she can't deny Maki worth a shit. Also like she makes 237 straw dolls a minute. Sorry, Maki.

[regular-lord-reckoner]

well, i guess i'm as winter storm ready as i can be !

i clocked out of work for a bit to go run the errands i normally do on fridays because tomorrow we're supposed to get a few actual inches of snow (we'll see !!) so that was..... exhausting to do in the middle of a work day (and right before a snowstorm in the south... the traffic....) but it's all done !!

i've gotta work a couple of hours tomorrow because i ended up taking longer than i meant to (mostly because of the traffic) but hopefully i can get up and get that done before there's any possibility of even losing power so fingers crossed !

hope you're safe out there if you're reading this and stay warm/safe if this shit's about to hit you as well !! <3

[orcelito]

Well I managed to get enough done for the project to secure 50/100 points. Maybe. Hopefully! Maybe more if they take pity on me.

Been doing well in this class b4 now so hopefully I'll still get an A. Just might be an A-.

[osamusriceballs]

I had an important presentation today and it went well fortunately 💖💕🥹 I’m so tired today though, I’ll probably not finish editing the accident tonight, my apologies 🥺

[moafleco]

i hate that duality that your mind can be your safe heaven that helps you get through some difficult things, keeps you going and brings you happiness at the worst of times. and at the very same time it could be your worst tormentor that won't let you rest and won't let you breathe, literally for no particular reason at all. and you can't leave or silence it. can't get it to stop when it gets dark in there. can't get the light in when you desperately need to feel a respite instead of suffocation.

[landfilloftrash]

shoutout to my girl eno’s nightmare bc. Hi! What and/or Who the fuck was that ! its gonna haunt her and i for awhile !

[reflectionsofgalaxies]

good lord my brain is running laps and i just wanna knock it out and get some goddamn sleep