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last first kiss | choi seung-hyun (t.o.p)

BIGBANG APRIL CHALLENGE - APRIL 16TH

・❥・ summary: the internet had given you your best friend but life had taken him away from you until one day he messages you again and you're surprised to find out who he really is ・❥・word count: 4.8k ・❥・warnings: 18+. mdni. virgin!reader, virgin!seunghyun, loss of virginity, fingering, oral (f receiving), p in v. swearing. they're both 21+, thank u. ・❥・authors note: this would've been up yesterday but i was having an awful day with sinuses issues so here we go. its also the longest thing ive ever wrote. i will be hiding now goodbye.

When MySpace first hit the scene it was all anyone could talk about. Conversations often involved who were in people’s top eight friends, what song lyrics to use in their profiles — it was the first of its kind on the internet. Everyone in school had one which is how you had ended up with one. At first you had been rather reluctant; the internet seemed like a scary place and putting all your information on there seemed risky but you soon came around. If everyone else was doing it then why shouldn’t you? There had been no expectations when you had finally made your profile. The first few days you had spent making your page pretty, figuring out HTML so you could code it to look better than the rest. It wasn’t until one day a message popped up from a boy you didn’t know when the social media platform became part of your every day life for years to come.

Choi Seunghyun, that was his name.

He was a cute, chubby boy who was into rap. His profile said he was a rapper himself, or trying to be one anyway. His message was simple, sweet even as he complimented the song choice you had placed on your profile. No Diggity by Blackstreet. A classic. Seunghyun seemed to think so too.

That was the start of a beautiful friendship.

Every day, for two years, you talked daily for hours upon hours. Topics would range from music to films then slowly but surely into the deeper stuff. He’d tell you how he was struggling at school, you’d tell him about what was going on in your life — there wasn’t anything you didn’t share with each other. He even told you when he’d started dating this older girl. It had never sat right with you but he seemed so happy so you never said anything. Then, there was the day he told you they’d broken up. He had been so crushed but you? Well, you couldn’t help but feel elated.

Because, by then you’d realised you had a crush on him.

Conversations started to turn a little flirty. Nothing insane - you were still young after all but everytime he said something to you, you couldn’t stop the butterflies swarming in your stomach or how your cheeks would heat up. It was safe to say this boy you had never met was your first love. Neither had spoken it but you were sure he felt the same. He had to. The messages he sent you, the hours he spent talking to you; it had to mean something, right?

Then, it all stopped.

No more messages came from Seunghyun. It had shattered you — your very first heartbreak. At first you couldn’t help but blame yourself. Maybe you had driven him away, maybe he had got fed up. Realistically you knew something must have happened but self doubt was your biggest enemy. It got easier with time, you learned to let him go but you missed him. He had been your best friend, the one person that you could count on and now he was gone.

Life carried on. You studied hard, got yourself a part time job to help pay your college fees, even had a couple of relationships in the few years since Seunghyun had vanished but nothing ever stuck. They never had meaning because whether you realised it or not, you were always wondering about what could have been.

It was one exhausting day after a shift at work when you randomly decided to look at you MySpace. And, there it was. One new message. Your heart caught in your throat, heart pounding wildly as you moved the arrow to click on it.

CHOI SEUNGHYUN

Long time, no see. I know you might be mad at me and that is understandable. I never meant to vanish on you, I beat myself up over it everyday. I miss you and I’d love to explain, if you’ll let me. Would you care to meet up?

For a moment anger boiled up inside you. Did he really think he could show up out of the blue after all these years and think everything would be okay? You moved the mouse to hover over the delete button then really thought about it. This was someone that had meant everything to you, someone that had made your teenage years more bearable. Now you finally had the chance to meet him. So, taking a deep breath, you typed out your reply.

YOU

Mad might be a little bit of an understatement but I’m willing to hear you out. Give me a time and place and I’m there.

It was a warm spring day in Seoul so you’d opted for a light jacket. The weather could be unpredictable so it was always better to be prepared. The sights around you were too beautiful to inflict anything but positivity on you. Seokchan Lake Park was one of your favourite places in the whole of Seoul especially now that it was Cherry Blossom season. The pink leaves swaying in the breeze, the ripples of the lake catching the corner of your eye — it was truly a stunning place to be. This time of year was your favourite. Spring had always been your favourite season because when the cherry blossoms were in full bloom, it seemed to make everything more beautiful, serene even.

Your hands gripped the railing bordering the lake, eyes casting across the water. People were riding the moon boats, couples on dates or friends who wanted to escape the world together for a bit. Maybe one day you’d have someone to ride one with.

“Y/N?” A deep, soothing voice spoke your name causing you to turn around. Eyes scrunched in confusion, head tilted to the side as you looked at the handsome stranger in front of you. He seemed oddly familiar.

“Uh? Who’s asking?” You eyed him curiously.

“Oh shit, wait. Sorry. I never told you that I lost all the weight,” he stumbled over his words, cheeks tinting a slight shade of red. “It’s me. Seunghyun.”

Your eyes narrowed as you took him in, examining every inch of him. Then it hit you. This was the guy from BigBang — the one who did the raps. You weren’t that big of a fan but you’d heard their music and seen their faces on the TV. Your brain began putting two and two together. You gasped loudly, eyes widening once you finally realised.

“Fucking TOP from BigBang are you ki-“ The rest of your sentence was muffled as Seunghyun placed his palm over your mouth to stop you from talking. His eyes darted around, checking to make sure nobody had heard your outburst. He wanted solely to spend this time with you, nobody else.

“Be quiet,” he hissed. “I’m trying to be incognito.”

He removed his hand from your mouth, pleading with his eyes that you’d be calm. You folded your arms over your chest, once again checking him over. He could sense the sceptism but he’d been prepared for this. “The Seunghyun I knew was a cute, chubby boy with the prettiest little dimples.”

He rolled his eyes. “I still have dimples.”

“If you really are my Seunghyun then tell me something only he and I would know.”

The way his heart skipped a beat when you said ‘my Seunghyun’ nearly made him stumble. He didn’t have to think, though. His head was so full of all the memories he had with you. “The day I first messaged you, you had No Diggity on your profile, we talked about how much we both loved the cherry blossoms and how one day we wanted to see them together.”

The moment the words left his mouth, you flung yourself at him, almost knocking him back with the force of it. Your arms wrapped around his neck, his encircling your waist. He had waited for this moment for so long, he wasn’t going to waste a second of it. He held you close, taking in the scent of your hair, the way your body felt against his. It was better than he could’ve ever dreamed of. He wondered if you could feel his heart pounding against his chest or the way his breath caught in his throat when you snuggled into his neck.

“You have so much explaining to do,” you giggled.

“I promise, I’ll tell you everything.”

Seunghyun more than kept his promise. He told you every single thing that had happened. How, when you had first met, he had been the chubby boy in his profile picture but then the trajectory of his life changed. What he hadn’t told you back then was that he had tried to sign with YG, getting turned down because of his weight so he spent months and months losing it to finally get signed. He told you about how his trainee days went, how after a hard day he loved messaging you because it made everything feel better. Then, he got to the part where he stopped talking to you. That had been because BigBang had finally debuted. He didn’t have the time (or more so YG had forbid them all from talking to anyone online). You could see the remorse in his eyes from keeping it all from you, the way you knew the guilt was eating him up. You had told him you understood now even if you had been furious at first. It was like a weight lifted off his shoulder. He felt lighter now. There were no more secrets.

Apart from the unspoken feelings between you.

The day had been spent mostly talking, sitting under the cherry blossoms and catching up. It had been nice, not awkward at all. Something about Seunghyun put you at ease. The kindness in his eyes and the way he spoke to you were nothing short of breathtaking. It was almost unfair that it had taken you this long to meet. You were both adults now, though. You weren’t teenagers anymore.

Currently, you were leaning back against the railings of the lake, finishing the last remainders of the ice cream Seunghyun had kindly bought you.

“Since you told me everything you were hiding, I feel like I should tell you something,” you finished the last bite of the ice cream cone, wiping your hands on your jeans. Seunghyun raised a brow, his own ice cream devoured long ago. He had been leaning over the railings, watching people have their fun on the lake. Now, though, he turned so he could look at you.

“Hmm?” His head tilted to the side slightly, a cheeky grin on his face. “Been hiding your own secrets, I see.”

“Not much of a secret just… didn’t know how to say it,” you started. “I just don’t want to scare you off now that I’ve got you back but I feel like you should know.”

“Hand on my heart,” he placed his hand on his chest right where his heart lay just for dramatics. “…nothing you could say would scare me away.”

Silence fell between you for a few moments before you finally spoke in a soft, rushed tone. “I think… well, I know, you’re my first love.”

Seunghyun froze upon hearing your words. One of his hands gripping the railing as if he needed it to hold himself upright. Had he heard you right? Did you really just say he was your first love? Words failed him, his brain a messy pile of words, none of which he could grasp enough to form. He was like a deer caught in headlights with his wide eyes, the shock of your confession surging through his veins. Those were the last words he had ever expected you to say. The truth was that Seunghyun had always had feelings for you. There had always been hope that one day maybe you could’ve had something but then when BigBang took off, he let you go. Well, he tried to anyway. Now, seeing you standing in front of him, nervously fidgeting with the sleeve of your jacket as you awaited his reply, it brought back all those feelings. They had never gone away. Always there, simmering and waiting for the right moment to boil over.

Just as you were about to tell him to forget it, your heart pounding hard in your chest, Seunghyun moved. Before you knew what was happening, his lips were on yours. They were slow, almost hesitant at first until he felt you kissing him back. He smiled into the kiss, bringing one of his hands up to cup your cheek, the other wrapping around your waist to pull you close against him. His whole body felt like it was on fire, like he needed more of you. Usually he wouldn’t be the one to kiss so out in the open but he had his shot and he was sure as hell going to take it.

“Do you want to come back to my place? You can say no, it’s totally fine,” he breathed, thumb brushing over your cheekbone.

“Yes,” you replied almost instantly, earning the widest smile from Seunghyun that showed off those dimples that you loved so much.

That was how you ended up at Seunghyun’s apartment, laying on top of him, his hand tangled in your hair, lips moving furiously together. The second you’d stepped foot through the door, neither of you had been able to keep your hands off each other.

Your tongues tangled together, a quiet moan from you swallowed by the kiss. You pulled away, sitting up and straddling his lap, hands resting on his chest.

“I… I’ve never done this before,” you admitted shyly. “I mean, I’ve done stuff but I’ve never… gone all the way but, god, I want you. So bad.”

Seunghyun blushed as his hands found your waist, sitting up slightly himself. “Me neither. I…I want to… with you. If you want to. It’s, uh, up to you but… I think I’ve always been waiting for you.”

“Me too,” you said softly, leaning back in to kiss him. “It’s always been you, Seunghyun.”

He flipped you around, gently laying you back on the mattress, his body on top of yours now. His lips were back on you, kissing you like his life depended on it. Your fingers threaded through his hair, causing him to groan into the kiss. He couldn’t help when his hips involuntarily bucked into yours, the delicious friction causing you both to moan.

“Do that again,” you mumbled against his lips.

Happy to oblige, he did it again, hips grinding against yours. You could feel his hard on, pushing against your clothed core. It was nice but it wasn’t enough so you moved your hips in time with his. By now one of Seunghyun’s hands had slid under your shirt, his fingers leaving a trail of goosebumps on your skin in their wake. He broke the kiss for a moment, looking at you with the softest eyes as he asked his question. “Can I take this off?”

“Yes,” you nodded, chest rising and falling in anticipation.

He slowly peeled your shirt off, taking a moment to look at you as you lay there, top half bare minus your bra. He inhaled deeply, trying to keep himself under control. “You’re so beautiful.”

It was impossible to fight the blush creeping up your neck. “Thank you but I think you’re talking about yourself.”

“No,” his lips had found your neck, trailing kisses along your collarbone then the side of your neck. He nipped at your skin, his tongue running across his mark to soothe it. If he was doing this, he was leaving you a reminder… and maybe he wanted everyone else to know that he was the first one to have you. That thought alone filled him with a possessive pride. You tilted your head to the side to give him more access. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on. A fuckin’ dream.”

It was your turn to undress him now, tugging at his shirt. Seunghyun took the hint, removing himself from your neck momentarily to pull it off over his head, discarding it somewhere on the floor. He leaned back down again, his fingers dancing along your side until his hand cupped your breast, his thumb brushing over your nipple through the fabric of your bra. You bit your lip at the sensation, Seunghyun reaching behind your back to try and unclasp it. Unfortunately, he wasn’t as smooth as he’d like to be, fumbling with it and failing to unclasp it.

“…is this some torture device or something? What the hell?” He huffed which only caused you to giggle. You sat up, reaching behind your back to take it off yourself. It joined the ever growing pile of clothes on the floor. There was a moment where you almost covered yourself up but seeing how Seunghyun was looking at you — like you were the sun, stars and moon — it gave you the confidence you needed. He felt his cock twitch in his pants, nearly nutting right then and there. He really needed to get a hold of himself if he was ready to cum at seeing your tits. “Holy shit.”

His lips found yours, hungrily moving against them, tongue instantly passing your lips to find yours. His hand cupped your breast, giving it a gentle squeeze. You arched into his touch, spurring him on, giving him the courage he needed to keep going. The pad of his thumb brushed your nipple again, feeling it pebble under his touch. He tore his lips from you, kissing down the valley between your breasts before his lips found your other nipple. His tongue swirled around it, lavishing it with attention while his hand made work of your other one. The sensation was incredible, you could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter with each touch. Embarrassingly wet at this point. He ground his hips back into yours, harder this time. He was so hard, so painfully hard but he wanted to take his time. He wanted this to be a memory both of you could look back on fondly. Your first time had to be special, he would make sure of that even if he was a nervous wreck inside.

“Seunghyun,” you sighed. His lips left your breast, trailing wet kisses down your stomach until he reached the waistband of your jeans. He looked up at you, silently asking you for permission. It took one nod of your head before he was tugging them off. HIs eyes instantly caught the damp patch on your panties, groaning to himself. The fact he had done this to you, that he was the one to make you so riled up? It was an incredible feeling. He lightly pressed his fingers against your core, rubbing in slow circles over your panties.

“Does that feel good?” He asked nervously. All he wanted was to make you feel good, to give you the pleasure you deserved.

“Mhm. I….” You started but cut off, too embarrassed to say what you wanted to.

“No, go on, baby. Tell me.”

“…I want you to touch me properly, please?”

Seunghyun hooked his fingers into the sides of your panties, pulling them off. Now you were completely naked in front of him. He was sure this was a dream. There was no way you were lying here, hair fanned out on the pillow, looking at him with desire in your eyes, bare for him and only him. He parted your legs, his hand trailing up to where you needed him. A long finger slid between your folds, your slick coating it. You were so wet. He kept doing that, sliding his fingers along your pussy before he found your clit. You gasped out when he began to rub slow, soft circles against it. Hearing your breathy moans, the way your hips were moving against his hand; it spurred him on. He added more pressure, sliding his index finger down, teasing your entrance. It was slowly that he slid his finger inside you, eyes instantly flicking up to your face to check your reaction.

Your bottom lip was tugged between your teeth, fingers gripping the bed sheets beneath you. It was truly a sight to behold. He began to pump his finger; the fact you were so wet made it easier for him to pump his finger in and out. “You’re so wet.”

He added another finger, keeping it gentle. He curled his fingers, to which you rewarded him with a loud moan of his name. He couldn’t help himself but seeing your writhing under his touch, the way your eyes were squeezed shut, hips chasing his movements? He needed to taste you. If he was being honest, he’d only ever eaten a girl out once but for you, he’d try his damndest to make it the best experience of your life.

He kept his fingers moving inside you, picking up the pace a little. His head now between your thighs, kissing along your soft skin before finally, finally, he darted his tongue out to taste you. He had to pause immediately, feeling himself almost nutting once again. Yeah, he was definitely a virgin. Couldn’t keep it together at all. Once he got a hold of himself, his tongue went back to work, swirling around your clit. The moan you let out was the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard.

“Fuck, Seunghyun!” You gasped, fingers flew to his dark hair. “I.. oh…that… that feels so good.”

You held his head against you, bucking into his mouth as his lips attached to your sensitive bud, sucking it. And, that was it. The way his fingers were pumping into you paired with his mouth working its magic, it was too much. Too overwhelming. The pressure had built to a crescendo.

“O-Oh, I-fuck…” you cried out, fingers tugging at his hair as you came. Your body tensed up, your release flooding his mouth. He lapped it up like a man starved, his cock aching painfully knowing he’d just made you cum. He slowed his fingers down, helping you through your release. When he felt your body relax, his lips trailed back up your body, pulling his fingers from you. He found your lips again, kissing you slowly.

“Back with me?” He asked softly, brushing your hair from your forehead.

“Yeah.”

“That was so fucking hot. I can’t believe I just made you come like that.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever come that hard before. Let me return the favour.”

Your hand slid between your bodies, dipping into his jeans to palm him through his boxers. He thrust into your hand automatically. He was certain he’d never been this hard in his life. It was too much. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to handle it if you kept touching him. That would have to be saved for another time. As you began to rub his cock through his boxers, his fingers wrapped around your wrist to stop you. You frowned. “Did I do something wrong?”

He cupped your face, shaking his head. “Not at all, baby. I just…. if you keep touching me like that, I’m gonna come and I…” His face turned a deep shade of scarlet. “I… I want to come inside you.”

“Oh,” you understood immediately. “Do you… have any condoms?”

He sighed heavily. “No.”

“I’m on the pill so we should be okay.”

Seunghyun nodded. He stood up for a minute, shedding himself of his jeans and boxers. You hadnleaned up on your elbows to watch, the throbbing between your legs ever present as you watched him undress. Seeing his cock, the way it sprang out made you lick your lips. Yeah, you definitely needed that in your mouth one day soon. You hadn’t missed how hard he was, the precum leaking from his tip.

Seunghyun crawled back on top of you, his heart now pounding in his chest. Nerves were setting in. You were really about to do this. He was about to lose his virginity to the girl he’d always dreamed about. It didn’t feel real. So many things had gone wrong in his life but this? This was right.

You cupped his cheek, the nerves in his eyes reflecting back in yours. It was scary but you trusted him. Seunghyun would take care of you, that was something you knew for sure. He rocked his hips against you, his cock sliding through your drenched folds. A whimper escaped your kiss swollen lips. By now, it was the point of no return but you had to ask anyway, had to be certain. “Are you sure?”

“Never been more sure in my life. Are you?” He kissed the palm of your hand.

“I…I’m nervous but I want this. I want you.”

“And I want you. I’ve always wanted you. I promise I’ll be so gentle and… if it hurts or you need me to stop then I will instantly, okay?”

You nodded. Seunghyun took one of your hands in his, lacing your fingers together. His other hand had taken his cock, running it along your folds on more time to coat himself in your slick before positioning at your entrance. “I’m gonna start now.”

He very, very slowly pushed the head of his cock into your soaking entrance. He groaned at the sensation, your pussy warm as it enveloped his length, trying to accommodate him. He pushed in a little further but immediately stopped when he heard the sharp gasp tearing from your lips. Eyes wide, he looked up in a panic. “Are you okay?”

You nodded. “Yeah. Just… stings. Give me a minute.” He did, he waited patiently even if it was the hardest thing he’d ever done. His lips covered your face in sweet kisses, his free hand running up and down your side to soothe you. When you opened your eyes, you nodded, a fierce determination in them. “Keep going.”

He pushed in even more. Little by little he kept it up, watching your face for any signs of discomfort. The way you were squeezing his hand made his heart clench. He knew it would hurt for a little moment for you, but he hated the thought of it. Finally, he was all the way inside. Stilling completely.

“Holy shit. You feel so good,” he breathed, his deep voice full of barely constrained desire. “So tight. I… I’m not going to last long, baby. Tell me when I can move.”

It was a foreign feeling, strange but not in a bad way. It was overwhelming, the feeling of being so full as your body tried to accommodate the new intrusion. The initial sting had started to fade now. The hard part was over with. Your eyes met Seunghyun’s and you could see how much he was holding back but he hadn’t complained one bit. His eyes shone with nothing but love and patience for you. “You can move. Please.”

He inhaled a breath, pulling out only halfway before gently pushing back in. He set a slow rhythm, it was clunky and awkward but neither of you cared. He buried his head in the crook of your neck as he thrust into you. The more he did, the better it felt. You could feel how good it felt, needing more of it. So, feeling brave, you wrapped one leg around his waist which pulled him in deeper. He moved a little harder, spurred on by your moans in his ear. His head lifted, hand squeezing yours, his forehead resting against yours. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

That was all it took for Seunghyun to lose it. A deep groan fell from his lips as he rutted into you. He thrust in to the hilt, the tip of his cock hitting that special spot inside you which triggered another orgasm from you. The feeling of your tight walls clamping around him like a vice was it. He groaned loudly, your name on his lips as he emptied himself inside you. It was a beautiful sight. His hair stuck to his forehead, damp from sweat, his face contorted in pleasure. It was something you would never forget. He collapsed on top of you, careful not to crush you with his weight.

He nuzzled his head into your neck as you ran your fingers through his hair, both of you panting to get your breaths back.

Silence enveloped you. Both of you basking in what you’d just shared together. Eventually, Seunghyun pulled his head back up. “I meant it, you know? I love you. I didn’t get to say it earlier but you’re my first love, too.”

The intimate moment you’d just shared, giving yourselves to each other paired with his beautiful words brought tears to your eyes. “I love you, too. I’ve always loved you and I’m always going to.”

No matter what happened now, you knew that as long as you had each other, things would be okay.

He was yours and you were his. In every way possible.

challenge taglist: @ldydeath @infinetlyforgotten @loveesiren @sevendaysummer @gdinthehouseee @eru-vande @bluesunss @emmiesoverthemoon @petersasteria @currentloser @makeitworse @berfgrimm @aizshallnotbefound @sherxoo @keiraryan

normal taglist: @sherrayyyyy @justsisse @fleabagspurplewife @gemzyy @bettelaboure @breakmeoff @flymetothexmoon

#choi seunghyun x reader #t.o.p x reader #choi seunghyun #choi seunghyun smut #bigbangaprilchallenge #my fics

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