#it's finished! the second page! sorry not sorry for ur emotions

[existentialcrisistime]

what will I do when I don't have you / when I finally get what I deserve?

from Oceanographer's Choice, The Mountain Goats

part 2 of 2 (part 1 here)

[bonesandthebees]

okay so like i was gonna just start on this tonight and get the general ideas down and finish this when i was Awake and Functioning but then i started rambling so uhhh jazz handss

take me describing the diff energies ur fics give off, i am sorry if this is uncomprehensible fjwaewf (is that even a word?? incomprehensible? ye-)

through a glass divine: DEFFFF rainy day vibes, the au feels very Elegant to me even though glass!wilbur himself is very much not, when I read glass I get the same vibes as being in a car /pos, it's comforting but can get intense at times, sometimes with no warning. like one minute your head is against the glass (heh, pun unintended lol), and ur looking out at the streetlamps, the next the breaks are SLAMMED and u get whacked against the seatbelt lmfaoooo (this is all /pos !! i love the angst lol)

world forgetting: FOGGG, that's the first thought that pops into my head, things are unclear first and it's a little eerie but there's also something comforting about it (i will use this word a lot bc . well ur writing is comforting hehehe), the first half of wf was very exciting, it reminded me of when i used to have my mcu marathons, edge of my seat, shoving popcorn into my face, and just glee, the first few chapters with wf especially with the combat made me so fucking giddy lmfaooo i had so much fun reading it, the second half was a lot more calm and melancholy, it was defff sitting on the couch while it rains outside vibes, like MM the hurt comfort?? give me a blanket and a pillow to squeeze bc hot damnn

stars and their children: stars man . hooweeee, this fic was binging a 12 season show vibes, you invest a lot into it and wow the emotional damage?? for real. this fic was late night rants at sleepovers, theorizing n coming up with silly conspiracy theories (i think this was when i really started reading the asks, so for me it has a lot of those vibes tied to it), when i read stars… i feel a lot of Awe. it feels big, it feels important, it also feels like im reading a very fancy novel from a very big library, like i feel like i've stepped into a massive multi-tiered library and plucked my favourite book from its shelf, i can imagine the hardcover being absolutely gorgeous, it gives me the same vibes as getting assigned a book to read in class and having your mind blown /pos from it, like "damn i understand why they make us read this bc wow"

(fun fact i have ur ao3 page bookmarked on my toolbar lmaoooo)

honey and tangerines: well . this one just gives me island and coastal vibes lolll u described them very well, but okay from a reading perspective? besides indie movie lmao. i'd say… hanging out with a friend you haven't seen in a while. it's familiar, it's bittersweet, it's thrilling. honey and tangerines gives me the vibes of doing something youve been wanting to for awhile but were always too scared to. pushing your boundaries. it's all those classic "finally living life vibes", staying out till 3 am, finally getting around to decorating your room, going on a roadtrip. when i read honey and tangerines, it feels like i'm experiencing life. all the prev fics either feel like novels or movies, but hats feels like life

what the water gave me: ngl when i read this i just feel such pure emotion that i cry like idek how to explain it man. it's so all encompassing /pos it does give me staying up late in my room with fairy lights vibes though, dunno why. just gives off that same warm energy

A DUSTY TOMB OMGGOJEAWE i need to reread that anyways

a dusty tomb: straight off the bat, playing dnd. dnd is so much fun and i have so many happy memories from it and a dusty tomb defff gives off those vibes, chaos, freeing, family. it also gives off the vibe of finding a piece of old writing in a buried notebook and reading it and going "wtf?? when did i write this this is amazing" maybe that's just bc it feels like u read my mind writing it lmao it's perfect i adore it so much and i have reread it an unholy amount of times, i just get the vibes of sitting criss cross on the floor and reading it, it's not necessarily a comfy position but it's enjoyable nonetheless, just a happy moment for oneself, it feels like giving yourself a treat, self care, all of that good stufff

no time confounds me: def feels like watching a tv show /pos, it def feels like smth i'd put on w my stepmom or my birth mom and just absolutely fucking Vibe to it bro, that fic is suchhh a vibe, i'd sink into my couch and get HOOKED, it also ofc brings w it all the vibes of just where i live LMAO, and the motorcycling reminds me of my dad <333 i miss motorcycling with him dawggg it's so much fun, but yeahhh. all the vibes described in the fic just make me want to go out for a hike in a forest lmao, i love it. also hot chocolate. this fic is defff drinking hot chocolate vibes

nocturnal animals: ooohh this one is defff late night vibes, working late on hw and looking out ur window and just taking a moment to appreciate the stars n stuff, also windy day vibes, this def feels like a novel my friend would shove at me to read and i'd be like "brooo i dont even LIKE vampires" and theyd be like "no bro just trust me" and then i'd be really bored one day so i'd pick it up and then get addicted . and then in this hypothetical series that has like a billion books i'd go to the library and borrow them all and binge them in a week lmfao, i love this fic sm ngl, i would proudly display this fic on my bookshelf (well i mean, i would literally display all of ur fics on my bookshelf KING i would have a shelf dedicated to ur fics 100%)

okay… i think those are all the main fics, there're a couple more that i've read but i am . getting really really reallyyy tired and idek if any of this is comphrensible lmfaooo 😭 😭 😭

i hope u enjoyed bee <333 tldr: i love ur writing and i have core memories attached to all of these fics and they are all special to me in their own way <33

ohhhh these are so cool to read icy (sorry it took me so long to respond I've been so busy lately)

lmao love all the drama in glass being compared to a car braking super suddenly. rainy car drives is definitely not the vibe I think it has in my head but that's super sweet to imagine :)

comparing stars to a Big Fancy Book makes me so happy thank you so much. I have this absolutely gorgeous fancy version of Dune with a stunning cover and I always imagine something kind of similar as the 'cover' for stars in my head so i love that you imagine that too

in contrast you and i feel the exact same about honey and tangerines. it's definitely that kind of bittersweet reconciling friendship vibe. saying it feels like life means so much thank you <33 thats exactly what I was going for

to me what the water gave me feels like swimming in a warm tropical ocean at night which might be a bit on the nose but yeah that's what I think of. but fairy lights in a room sounds so nice I love that

awww I love that idea for dusty tomb. just rereading something nostalgic and wonderful and feeling so comforted by it. that makes me smile a lot to imagine :)

hot chocolate and watching a tv show YEAHHHH you get it that's exactly what i was going for from no time confounds me. also that's so funny that you mention motorcycling with your dad bc that's where my descriptions of riding motorcycles comes from. my dad always used to pick me up from school on his motorcycle when I was a little kid, it was so much fun

oooo windy day for nocturnal animals is interesting but I love it. also god you saying it feels like a series with dozens of books reminds me of this vampire series i read in middle school that had like 10 books it's absolutely nothing like nocturnal animals but now I'm having a nostalgia trip thinking about it lol

thank you icy this was so sweet to read :)

[simluvbot]

School stresses (when jay comforts you when you’re stressed with school)

tags: fluff imagine, some(?) angst, boyfriend!jay, domestic au

member: bf jay x gn reader

words: 1,434 (mini headcanon and imagine)

request!: “could you do one for jay where his s/o is really stressed with school, and has a breakdown but he is there to comfort them? p.s i love your writing! ☺️”

a/n: i hate this 😭 btw!!! this includes mentions of a nervous breakdown/panic attack(?) with crying and im sorry if t i didnt portray this the most accurately ahh this is so messy sorry 😭😭

Looks up to you 100% yep yep

Looks up to you 100% yep yep

Looks up to you 100% yep yep

So whenever he sees that you’re struggling in school? he takes your emotions so seriously because he knows how hard you work for it and how difficult it is

):

Will pause whatever he’s doing so he can sit in front of you and hold your hand and simply just listen to you rant, even if it takes hours

HIS SHOULDER IS ALWAYS AVAILABLE FOR YOU TO CRY ON

According to the members he is good at massages so yes you bet he will give you a massage to help you relax as a break

Does so of course after telling you that things will be okay, that you’re smart, that you know the information well and he believes in you

Very supportive of you in your studies!

Just wants to make you feel better and relieved asap

is the type of boyfriend that will reassure you and give you realistic solutions to your problems, so you always end up feeling a lot better and confident after talking to him!

will lay with you on your bed for hours when you need to relax, letting u lay on his chest as he rubs soothing circles on ur skin (:

The ticking of the clock in your bedroom room seeks to get more annoying the longer time passes.

School is stressful, is and always has been. But with the amount of anxiousness you’ve experienced in the last few hours and days due to all the work you have to do - you’ve started to question whether you’re really capable enough to do this.

Heaving a breath, you sit back in your chair, curling up into a ball as you stare through glazed eyes at the work on your desk.

You clench your fists, eyeing your papers and various textbooks that you’re having difficulty comprehending. Your laptop with your unfinished assignment sits on top of it all.

Is it worth it? Are you smart enough?

Frustration courses through you at simply staring at one of the pieces of work you’ve been given to complete. You don’t want to do it. You can’t. It’s too much.

Maybe you should just-

“Y/n?”

Jumping at the sound of your name being called, you look back at jay who stands in your doorframe.

He holds the bottle of water he had left your bedroom for, and for a second you stare dumbly as your brain stutters for a second in remembering this fact.

“O-oh, jay!” You say a bit too eagerly, an unsure smile on your lips as you clear your throat and blink your eyes. “Got your water?”

“What’s wrong?”

You blink. You’re always surprised by his bluntness.

Laughing lightly, you shake your head, thoughts running at a million miles an hour and brain seeming to pulse with the various number of things that are indeed wrong to you.

“Nothing.” You say breezily, shoulders tense as you look back at your desk once again, the empty page on your laptop screen seeming to taunt you. “I just..”

Jay doesn’t look convinced, a concerned expression now on his face as he walks closer towards you.

Heat rushes to your cheeks inexplicably, and you glance back at your work on the desk, and then up to your Calendar on the wall.

“It’s just.. just..”

You let out a breath, and you don’t even have to finish your sentence. Because it’s enough for you to break.

Turning away sharply from your desk and from jay, you cover your face with your hands as you feel the stress of the past week reach it’s tipping point inside of you.

“Y/n.”

Jay’s hugging you in an instant; strong arms holding you tight against his chest, pulling you in gently without hesitation.

“School is just so much. Too much. I don’t know if I can handle it.” You heave, chest constricting as you breakdown, hot tears streaming down your cheeks as you feel your face flush in embarrassment. 

“Hey hey hey, its okay.” you hear jay say distantly, followed by the soft thud of him dropping his water bottle somewhere, and you can only blink numbly as you try to dumbly process how quickly everything is happening -  from him taking your hand in his and leading you to sit on your bed to him wiping away your tears softly with his calloused fingertips, large palms holding your face gently in his.

“Breathe, okay? you can do that for me?” 

Blinking through your blurry vision, you nod as jay’s face slowly start to focus through your tears, heart thudding in your chest and adrenaline coursing through your veins as you start to follow along with your boyfriend’s lead.

“In, out. In and out y/n.”

You hear the concern in his voice, his expression clouded with worry as his thumb gently rubs your cheek, hushing you quietly and breathing deeply with you as you try to get your shallow breathing to slow down.

“Jongseong.” you mumble, feeling flustered as you break the eye contact at how quickly everything seemed to escalate. You were just sitting at your desk stressing about school a second ago and in what felt like in only a blink, youre in your boyfriend’s arms; safe.

The black-haired boy simply shakes his head, softly telling you to focus on breathing.

You’re unsure if you’ve ever seen jay so serious when it’s concerning you before, all jokes and lightheartedness leaving for this moment. It takes a few more minutes before your heart rate has slowed and the jelliness you feel in your limbs has left, and soon you’re feeling a lot calmer.

“Are you feeling better?” Jongseong asks, standing up away form you briefly to collect the water that was initially for him, handing it to you instead once opening the lid.

You nod as you take it gratefully and you gulp down the water. “yeah.”

Taking your hand in his, he sits down further back on your bed, guiding you so you’re sitting in front of him between his legs.

“So?” he says patiently, not at all imposing in his tone as he moves you hair away from your neck, sweeping it over your shoulder.

When you give him permission to touch you, you heave a breath at the feeling of his hand on your shoulders; palms pressing down smoothly and expertly soothing your tense muscles.

“I’ve just been really stressed i guess.” You say quietly after a comfortable silence, fiddling with your fingers and closing your eyes as you feel your fatigue drift away with the work of his hands, calmness settling over.

“Schools been piling up, and i just have a lot to do.” You murmur. “I dont know. I have a lot to study so I’ve just been feeling pretty overwhelmed.” 

Jay hums and you close your eyes, letting yourself relax into his  touch as he massages you without word.

“School does put a lot of pressure.” he says thoughtfully, and you feel him nodding behind you. “But I’m sure you’re going to do well, y/n. Don’t worry too much. You’re only going to stress yourself out even more.”

He turns you around gently, and your widened eyes meet his concerned ones. “Have you been taking rests when you study during the day, love?” Jay asks, and you feel butterflies in your stomach at the nickname.

“..yeah.” You say hesitantly, leaning in towards your boyfriend and his soft chest.

“Yeah..?” Jay drawls out with a chuckle, kissing your forehead. “Yah, you should y/n.  Don’t burn yourself out. Your health is just as important as school is. You’re going to ace it, okay?”

Pausing, he makes you look at him and repeat the words, “I’m going to ace it.”

“I’m going to ace it.” You say after him with a chuckle, rolling your eyes at your boyfriend’s insistent behaviour.

Jay smiles softly. “Give me your flashcards later if you have any so i can help you revise the, later, okay?”

You nod, smiling as you kiss his neck, wrapping your arms tightly against his chest.

“Okay.” You say fuzzily, enjoying the small circles he rubs into your side. “Thank you.”

Jay hums, leaning back so youre lying on top of him, his soft round eyes meeting yours, hand stroking your cheek softly.

“I love you, y/n. Please don’t hold in your stress anymore.”

[franeridart]

Anon said: Are you still into krbk? I noticed you haven't draw them a lot recently (I don't mean to pressure you, I was just wondering)

I still very much am!!! but a convergence of unrelated happenings (my focus being unusually scattered, lack of general motivation, them not having interacted much in the manga lately, my having pulled out of the fandom a little for a bunch of reasons, having gotten into a lot of new things I want to make a lot of stuff for ??) had my output of stuff for them/inspiration related to them die down a lot ): I miss them though, I should fill a page with doodles of them one of these days... well, I haven’t drawn much in genereal lately, so maybe let’s start first with fixing that haha

Anon said: Fun Fact : In smash bros ultimate there are spirits with octopath traveler and they're in pairs and guess what ? Alfyn and Therion are together :3

I KNOW!!!!!! It makes me so emo I’m a bundle of feelings they’re soulmates I tell youuuuuuuuuuu ;;A;; (little inconsequential things making me a mess, what’s new xD) - another fun fact is that h’aanit and ophilia share one too!! and I ship them too!! and cyrus and tressa share one as well, and they’re my brother’s mains in his save! A series of delightful little coincidences haha

Anon said: Will you be drawing more Jujutsu Kaisen? I love your art sm and I would love to see more!!!!

Right now I feel like I want to spend the next ten years drawing these kids, so I sure hope so! But as I said my focus has been very scattered for the past three or so months, so I can’t promise anything ): let’s both enjoy it while it lasts haha

Anon said: You are my emotional support artist. I check back every once and a while and BOOM. Serotonin.

You’re too kind!!!! But thank you, I’m glad I can make you feel better! :D

Anon said: i'm super new to your art (and mha) and i just wanted to say your krbk stuff is just !!!!!!! it makes me so happy and makes my poor jaded heart feel something and it's just all around incredible!!!

Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!! I’m glad you like my way of portraying the kids!!!!

Anon said: I’m about to cry I’ve spent an hour looking though your bnha tag for that lil comic where Kiri hugs Baku and. It. Sent. Me. Back. To. The. Top. I didn’t even get to finish reading it. I’m so upset. So. So. So. Upset.

(same) Anon said: OH MY GOSH IT KEEPS SENDING ME TO THE TOO I HATE MOBILE AND LOVE YOU I LVOE YOU BUT THIS WEBSITE IS K I L L I N G ME I JIST WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS AS KIRI ATTEMPTS TO HUG BAKUGOU BUT NOOOO, AN HOUR OF MY TIME ISNT ENOUGH SAYS THE TIME STEALER

(samesame) Anon said: I. Found the hug thing. On Pinterest. In. Five. Seconds. I hate life but also it was really cute. Thank you but seriously I hate this website

The saga hahaha sorry anon I couldn’t get to you before you went out of your mind trying to find it, I got the asks in the middle of the night! Glad you could find it, though I’m kinda sad you had to look on pinterest for it (...sad it is on pinterest at all tbh) here it is anyway, if this is the one you were talking about! you really went back in the years for this one huh

Anon said: So for that thing that you made a w h i l e ago where Bakugou ruffles Kirishima’s hair, right? So I imagine Kiri is like w h a t and calls over Mina or Denki or Sero or all of them or something like that and tells them and is freaking out and they’re like “he wasn’t in the right mindset, you know he sleeps at 8:32” and make a joke out of it as Kiri is freaking out. And Kiri is freaking out soooo much as they are crying laughing on the floor at Bakugou’s sleeping schedule.

hahaha I’m sure he must have freaked out on them at some point after that, and bakugou must have done the same (probably with jirou, less likely but more hilarious with todoroki or tokoyami haha) - though, the original idea came from a bigger one where the scene in the comic didn’t bring them anywhere closer to getting together (or figuring out they’re into each other, for the matter lmao idiots) maybe one day I’ll get back on that >:]

Anon said: In your comments, you said “at this point my hands will never forget” and I had a nozaki-kun memory float into my head, imagining him sick and trying to make his deadline xD yes muscle memory

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anon you have no idea how often I think about that hahaha yes, I say my hands won’t forget but we all know that’s exactly how it’ll end at some point lol

Anon said: dang this happens all the time like I follow someone for their bnha content and then like two months after following them I find out they used to make yowapeda content and im just sitting their like dang thats wild because bnha and yowapeda are like the only two animes I watch

ANON!!!! HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Always so nice to find other ywpd fans!!!!!!!! Sorry I’m not making art for it anymore (for now) but despite my sister insisting I read the manga already I’ve been putting it off......for years lol but it’s on my reading list!! So maybe I’ll get back on it at some point!

Anon said: FRAN!!!!!! i love ur art so much and im trying to buy ur products on redbubble and i geniunely cant decide what to get!!!!! i tired asking my friend but she doesnt know which one either hahahahhahah ig i just wanted to send this because i really appreciate u and u are very talented. im sending u lots of high vibrations and love❤️🧡

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!! It means so much to me that you guys are still buying my stuff (TTATT) I should...........seriously update it..........gomen m(._.)m

Anon said:YES YES YEEES MORE ALFYON ON THE WAYYYYYY 💖💖💖💖💖 They're both the cutest really their ship is the beeest  Try reading some the alfyon fanfics if you have some time, they're really good ! The one i really recommend you is Crismonberries, blackberries by court_court on Ao3 !Your art is the best ever can't wait to see more octopath !!💖💖💖

Anon thank you SO MUCH for suggesting that fic to me I!!!!!!!!!!!! loved it so much I deep-dived into it and spent two straight days reading it it’s such a gem!!!!! ;;; bless you

Anon said: Have you watched Fullmetal Alchemist?

Hell yeah! Only Brotherhood though. I read the manga too tho!!

Anon said: Have you read Noragami? It’s one of my favourite manga, and the anime isn’t half bad either (still waiting for s3 tho lol) anyway it’s really good, concept-wise it’s similar to Soul Eater, I totally recommend

I watched the first season back when it aired! It’s not really my thing though ): feels a bit sad in that very specific way that always ends up just making me miserable as I keep reading............................... sorry

Anon said: I will never not be in love with your art. Everytime I'm feeling down and/or missing the boys I scroll through your krbk tag and it reminds me exactly of why I love them so much and I'm so thankful for that. Your brand of krbks is the one I love the most and honestly thank you so much for all your marvelous art of them and of other things as well because you art is just so pretty and I love seeing your ocs and other fandom art 💕💕💕

Anon I love you......................... ;;;;; thank you so much, you have no idea how much this means to me (oTT^TT)o<3

[harrysweasleys]

baby steps // d.m

Summary: could you do a hufflepuff reader and draco? and draco is mean to everyone but her. like he has a huge soft spot for only her but she didn’t like that he’s rude to others and says she’ll break up with him if he’s not kinder? and it’s difficult at first but ofc he’d do anything for her. he changed his ways and becomes the kind draco i know he his on the inside! ur absolutely incredible!

Warnings: none!

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: sorry this took a while to release, it’s been a wild few days. but it’s here so enjoy!! xx

———————————

To say the day was not going well was an understatement. Everything that could go wrong went wrong. From morning to the evening, things had just been going horribly right and left and you were starting to get fed up with the day, glad that it was finally starting to come to an end as the sun slowly disappeared over the horizon.

Firstly, you were five minutes late to Snape’s class and he gave you detention for the upcoming weekend on top of a 20 page essay about the powers of moonstone. Only you, no one else. Then, Umbridge had noticed you giggle at a joke someone told and called you out, publicly humiliating you in front of the entire class. Then, during lunch break, you had spilled spaghetti all over your white dress shirt. Sure, it was easy to clean with a quick flick of the wand, but it was a major inconvenience nonetheless.

It was a right terrible day, you’d say.

The one thing you were looking forward to was seeing you doting boyfriend during the dinner feast. You weren’t in the same house, much to your dismay, but you’d constantly sneak over to his table and take as much time with him as you could.

Professor Snape would be too preoccupied scowling in the direction of the Gryffindor table to notice you amongst the Slytherins, and Professor Sprout would be too hopped up on bubble juice to pay attention to where her students were running off to. It played right into your plan.

You waltzed into the Great Hall that evening, giddy that you’d finally get to see your boyfriend and be cheered up. You quickly rushed to the Slytherin table and took a seat next to the blond boy, ducking behind Crabbe’s large figure across from you so no one could see that you were situated at the wrong table.

“Hey, love,” Draco grinned, pressing a kiss to your forehead and telling Goyle to shut his trap about breaking the rules, “How’s your day been?”

“Horrendous,” you pouted, leaning into his touch and resting your head on his shoulder, “Everything went wrong.”

He furrowed his eyebrows and wrapped his arms around you, his hug immediately soothing the unpleasantness you had been feeling, “What happened? Did someone do something to you?”

You shook your head, pulling away from him to look into his eyes, “No, not really. Umbridge and Snape were just being their usual selves. Just seemed worse today, I guess.”

He nodded understandingly, motioning towards the array of food on the table, “Maybe eating will help you feel better.”

You grinned, loving how well he knew you. Proceeding to dig into the food and making yourself a little plate, eating away quickly and already feeling a little better about how your day had gone. Suddenly, the essay didn’t seem as dreadful. Maybe it was just your full stomach talking, though.

As the dinner feast rolled to an end, you walked out of the Great Hall with Draco by your side, hiding you from the peering eyes of the Professors so they didn’t see you coming from the Slytherin table. The Slytherins were used to having you at their table, but no one else really knew you’d sneak off there and both of you would like to keep it that way.

Once in the hall, you were too focused looking over at Draco, who was in the middle of telling you a corny joke, to notice the first year Ravenclaw kid come crashing into you, nearly knocking you completely off your feet.

You felt the impact, taking a second to realize what just happened before Draco seized the kid by his blue tie, glaring him down with harsh intensity.

The boy’s eyes widened in fear, “I — I’m sorry,” he blurted out, voice shaky, “I didn’t see her.” The way Draco was glaring at him, you’d think he was about to jinx him into another universe.

“Draco, let him go,” you spoke firmly, placing your hand on his shoulder, “It’s just an accident. Leave him be, it’s fine.”

Draco seemed to hesistate and processed your words for a moment before he dropped the poor kid, who scurried off faster than he had run into you, disappearing down the hallway.

You felt so horrible.

“You need to stop doing that!” you shouted, gripping at your hair, “You can’t just go around picking up and harassing little kids, Draco.”

He shrugged as if he didn’t understand where your anger was coming from, “Some of them deserve it.”

“He didn’t deserve it just for running into me,” you pointed a finger at him, trying your best to keep your voice steady, “It was an accident!”

Your brutal day had pushed you to the edge — watching Draco snap at a young kid for no reason was the last straw. He seemed caught off guard by your shouting as well, shooting you a confused look.

“Wait, why’re you so upset?” he laughed humourlessly, “It’s not a big deal.”

You scoffed, “Not a big deal? You do this all the time. You’re always preying on kids and Potter and his friends. It’s pathetic.”

He seemed slightly offended by your words, but kept his calm, “I’m sorry, love. I just want to look out for you.”

Everything about his nonchalant state was setting you off. You couldn’t fathom why he continued being so calm about a situation that was riling you up this much. You had sat back and watched him torment and tease kids for too long, you wanted to put an end to it now.

“I’m serious, Draco,” you spoke softly, caught off guard by the delicateness of your voice considering how boiled you felt, “You need to stop or I — I can’t be around you.”

You regretted the words as soon as they left your mouth, but deep down, you knew you meant it. Draco tearing others down was not the kind of energy you wanted around you. You were so focused on helping to bring up those around you, and if the person you were with was focused on knocking people down multiple pegs, you didn’t know how much longer you could stand it for.

Maybe it was just your shitty day talking — the fact that you lacked sleep, lacked energy, lacked the will to continue the argument. You felt bad for saying what you said. You loved Draco with every inch of your being, and you knew he was good deep down.

He just needed a wake up call.

He suddenly snapped his eyes up, his carefree expression replaced with pale panic, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

You shook your head, trying to fight back the tears that were threatening to spill, “You need to change your attitude. I can’t date someone who finds amusement in being rude.”

As if doused with cold water, his face lost all colour, “You don’t mean that.”

“I do,” you nodded, trying your best to ignore the prickle in your throat as your emotions threatened to spill, “Please, for me. Just try.”

He didn’t hesitate, didn’t even take a second to ponder your words, “Okay, I promise. I’ll try to change.” He grabbed your hand with his shaky one, clearly shaken up by the prospect of you breaking up with him. You knew Draco loved you dearly and held a massive soft spot for you, henceforth why you had no doubts he’d actually attempt to change his ways. He just needed a push, and you were willing to be there to help guide him.

“Good,” you grinned weakly, a tear finally coming down your cheek before you quickly wiped it away, “Potter included, yeah?”

Draco rolled his eyes but eventually smiled, his face regaining its normal paleness, “No promises there but I’ll try. For you.”

Relief flooded over you like a wave. You had expected him to be a little more reluctant to take it easy on others. He wasn’t really a fan of people. But, it meant the entire universe to you that he’d try for you. That he’d keep you in mind next time he’d think of doing something, that maybe young students would be able to get away from him unscathed.

“Love you,” you pressed a light kiss to his nose before pulling him into a hug, wrapping your arms around him so tightly you swore you heard a crack from somewhere.

“Love you too,” he mumbled into your hair.

——

For the third time this week, Draco had held back from putting a first year in their place. You were practically beaming with pride at this point.

The first time, Draco had come crashing into a second year Slytherin and pushed him up against the wall before you could finish the sentence you had been saying. When you cleared your throat, crossing your arms and scowling at him, he dropped the kid and let him run away like he did with the one who had bumped into you.

You smiled, gaining a sarcastic one from him, and continued on with your day.

The second time was probably the one that took the most self-restraint. After Gryffindor best Slytherin in a well-fought Quidditch match, Harry Potter had stalked over to Draco and a few of the bummed out Slytherin players, proudly grasping the Snitch in his hand.

Draco lunged towards him, wand out and ready to fight it out, but you grabbed him by the sleeve of his robes before he could actually make impact with Harry. He straightened up and walked over to you, jaw clenched and eyes softening before turning sharply and walking back into the Slytherin tent. If you hadn’t been there, Harry might have left with a broken nose.

That night, you had told him you were proud of him, which seemed to lift his spirits greatly as he once again reminded you he was doing this just for you.

The third time was when you entered the library and noticed that your usual table was taken. You had found it odd considering you had never noticed anyone sitting there in all of the times you’ve come here with Draco, but figured it wasn’t a big deal and proceeded to look for an empty one. Draco, however, stormed over and told the group of Ravenclaw girls to get up and leave, calling one of them a mudblood.

They reluctantly obliged, beginning to pack up their stuff when Draco caught the glare you were giving him. You saw his shoulders slouch as he sighed deeply before telling the group of girls they could stay where they were. Needless to say, Draco was no longer in the mood to spend the afternoon casually in the library with you, so the two of you took a stroll of the grounds in the calming sunshine.

Unbeknownst to you, the fourth time came shortly after that, in the middle of a Transfigurations class — which Hufflepuff thankfully shared with Slytherin.

“Pst! Y/N!”

You whipped your head around, coming face to face with a girl in your year who was currently sitting in the desk behind you. For the life of you, you couldn’t remember her name.

“Yes?” you asked quietly in return, hoping to continue going unnoticed by McGonagall. Draco leaned forward to block you from view as you faced backwards.

She leaned forwards, “Can I copy your notes? I dozed off.”

You felt yourself frown, “Oh, uh, I don’t know.” Being a good student was something you pride yourself on and you didn’t want to tarnish that reputation by having a Professor catch you exchanging notes with a fellow student.

“C’mon,” she urged, leaning back into her seat as McGonagall’s piercing eyes scanned the class, “Don’t be uptight.”

Before you could defend yourself, Draco whipped his head around af the speed of light, eyes narrowed at your fellow Hufflepuff, “What did you just say?”

You placed your hand over his mouth and nudged your head in the direction of McGonagall who was now answering questions from a group of Slytherins at the front of the class.

“What?” the girl asked, unaware of her insult, looking between you two with an air of arrogance, “I just need the notes. It’s not a big deal.”

“It’s a big deal to me,” Draco spoke lowly through gritted teeth, “Who do you think you are?”

You gripped his upper arm, squeezing tightly to get him to face you, “Drop it, Draco.”

He scanned your face before closing his eyes and letting out a sigh, turning away and facing the front of the class again, his jaw tightly clenched and his breathing ragged. You turned to face the front as well, reaching under the table to find his hand. You linked your fingers with his and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, rubbing soothing circles on his warm skin.

He visibly relaxed, his breathing returning to normal and his shoulders loosening, eyes now focused on the class once more.

After the class ended and students flooded out of the classroom, you grabbed Draco and led him in the opposite direction, leading him behind a pillar, away from prying eyes, and pulling him into a hug.

“What’s this for?” he asked, wrapping his arms around you instinctively and resting his head atop yours.

“For sticking up for me,” you mumbled against his chest, squeezing him harder for a quick moment, “I appreciate it.”

“I know you told me to be a little nicer,” he chuckled softly, “but it’s hard when the person comes at you instead of me.”

You giggled, “I know. And I love that you stick up for me, I really do.”

Whilst flattered Draco had stepped up to defend you, your aim was still to avoid him using verbal assault like he had done on multiple occasions in the past.

“But,” you pulled away from the hug and placed both hands on the sides of his face, “Remember what we agreed?”

“Yes,” he grumbled with a slight pout, “I’ll be less intense.”

“Good,” you grinned, reaching up and pressing a light kiss to his lips, “Love you.”

“Love you too,” his pout vanished and he replaced it with a genuine smile, leaning back down and connecting your lips once more.

——

Over the next week, you had noticed massive improvement in Draco’s mood. Not only was he less sour and brooding, but he seemed to also carry a certain air of confidence that was less obnoxious than usual.

You had even heard Harry mumbling to his friend Hermione that, “Malfoy hasn’t said a thing to me in a week. It’s strange.”

Rather proud after hearing that statement, you had grown accustomed to complimenting Draco any chance you could. It helped him feel better and he really did love them. The better he felt about himself, the happier you were. You knew he was an incredible soul, you just wanted others to see him the same way you did.

“Thanks for everything you’ve been doing,” you smiled at him from across the library table, reaching over and grabbing his hand, “I’m very proud of you.”

“Yeah, well, anything for my girl,” he winked at you, causing you to hide your face once a blush creeped up your neck, “It feels better, though. I feel better.”

Your heart practically leapt out of your chest at his words, “Good. I’m so glad to hear that.”

He smiled softly, looking down at the table, “All cause of you, y’know.”

“I know,” you winked, resulting in him being the one to blush now, “People say I’m a good influence.”

“I’d have to agree with these people,” he pulled his hand away from yours and ran it through his neat hair, “You’re the best influence. And I am the luckiest person alive to have you in my life.”

You were positively beaming, scooching as close to him as you could, leaning over the table and connecting your lips to his. Heart thundering against your ribcage, you poured every ounce of love and passion that you had into the gesture, hoping that you could retaliate the words he just spoke to you in doing so.

“No kissing in the library!”

You pulled apart and smiled apologetically at Madam Pince, who was wide-eyed and pointing a stern finger. You could feel your cheeks burning, hoping no one had been looking to see the encounter go down.

“Sorry Madam Pince,” Draco smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, “Won’t happen again.”

You looked over at him, completely forgetting about Pince’s presence. This was the first time you had heart him apologize to anyone other than you, and it brought you an immense feeling of pride. Not for you, but for him.

After the angry librarian stormed off, you leaned towards him, “Thank you.”

He grinned, knowing he had just made you proud, “Thank you.”

You knew he was getting there. Slowly, but surely, he would overcome the way he had behaved for his first few years at Hogwarts and become the person you knew he was. The person you loved.

As the expression goes — it would take baby steps.

[hannie-dul-set]

hello its me again !! yesterday I told you I followed u bc of your love for jaemin and your funny humour but today I want to add something else, and thaTS YOUR AMAZING WRITING SKILLS !!

i just finished reading the masterpiece that is Top of the world and I'm so shaken up by the excellence of the rich vocabulary, the sentence structure and just the way you wrote the various events that happened. I'm such at a lost of words to express what I feel you have no ideas, I will never recover from the high quality of this story. it couldn't have been better than that what you delivered and I'm just so so relieved to have been able to live this amazing experience of reading such an outstanding story. I'm sorry maybe you're thinking im showering you in too much compliments but you deserves to be praised for having written Top of the world.

I will always be amazed with how people who write are able to wrote down their imagination and wow, im still shaking like.. Im so impressed by you you have no ideas 🙈

moving on, this is the first time ever since I'm reading nct fics on tumblr that I came across this characterization of jaemin, and it is a real take of fresh air in the best way possible even tho he's really such an asshole like wow the popularity did go too high in his head I was so scandalized (in a good way lmao it made me amazed) with how an ass he was and like the way he ordered around jisung ???? djjdjffjhf I- I wanted to punch jaemin so hard 😤 I wanted to dive into the story and beat his ass lmaooo im sure you too, like I was rolling around in my bed bc I couldn't stay still and laying down without reacting ㅠㅠ

I dont know at what length of words the ask can tolerate but let me tell you something before I forgot ! I realized that every situations/events you wrote had a purpose, like you didn't wrote basic actions that we would pass over without much attention, and bc of that you held our attention during the 15.6k of words and it was so much overwhelming I couldn't stop reading just to breathe lol, you kept me going for so long and I really liked it im so sad that I lived this experience and I couldn't live it again *sobs* this is so revolting I want to pat your head you did so so well 🥺

alsooooo, when you introduced yn's character in the beginning, I was kinda afraid that he would bully her physically you know, like I couldn't imagining you daring to write him being more than despicable than he was but thanks god that wasn't what I imagined fjdjfj, the way he exercised his 'dominance' towards someone he didn't know just for a seat lmao, wow he got some real balls ?¿ I was scandalized a lot fjjfjffj but I was curious too about jeno's character in the story, he was so chill (I think?) about yn's being involved with jaemin from the start and I was expecting him to be an asshole to her just like jaem, u know ? could we know your motives about jeno's character in the story ? why didn't you wrote him like jaemin?

I will speed up a little fjfjj or else I will write you 6 pages of my thoughts lmao

but yeah !! so, I really liked the contrast between how we perceived yn's outside facade and inside, like when he make her kneels in front of him, you made us look at her from jaemin's view and how she looked not so bothered by his behavior and then you switched the second after into yn's point of view and how she tried to not show her emotions... *mind blowing* 🤯 not gonna lie, I was rotting for her to not let him mess with her head but instead her doing that to him and it kinda worked fjfjfjf and then I knew the moment he was surprised about the non effect he had on her that it was the start of his fall anD I WASN'T A SECOND DISAPPOINTED

I FUCKING LOVED THE BLOSSOMING REALTIONSHIP BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM anD the slight graduation of jaemin's becoming soft to her oh my god I had hearts in my eyes. I loved every moments of this story (I loved the entire 15.6k words of it, I cherished them), but the pool scene toward the end made me go feral for a lot of minutes like the picture you implanted in my head of him in the water made me post all my thoughts (also blonde jaemin? as in, make a wish jaemin?, god I hope bc fucking damn, he was so so so hot)

I was so emotional at the end, they got together and just, being the witness of jaemin's character development was breathtaking, I couldn't stop thinking about how smooth you made it for his character development during all the story, it wasn't forced or too quick...

It was perfect

omg.... [CLUTCHES HEART]. help oh my god first of all thank you ??? for leaving such a LONG long review omg ???? made my entire day ?? week ??? HQGSBWJ IN SUMMARY THANK U AND I LOVE U FOR THIS AAAA i really appreciate it when people just ramble abt my works it just makes my drive go ⬆⬆⬆ yanno HHHH.

when i was first writing this is was like "oh gosh....is it....okay to turn jaemin this much of a dick?? IS IT??" like i was so SURE people wouldn't like this characterization of him but i literally got the reverse 😭 never expected anyone to jump with me on my asshole richkid jaemin agenda bUT HERE WE ARE....IT BEING MY MOST POPULAR FIC YET HAHSJ. i both hate and love this kind of jaemin and yes i definitely wanted to drag him down from his high horse while writing (at the same time....i will let him drag me around as he pleases too 😳).

i'm very gratified that u think its cohesive and each scene has a purpose because to be honest i didn't fuckin know where to go with this entire fic at first LMAO i was just in a richkid jaem brainrot after talking abt it too much with my friend and this was....the result 🕴.

as for jeno oh mr. jeno lee....HAGSNSK to be honest, as this fic wasn't rlly that deeply planned HAHA, i just wanted a contrast to jaemin's personality LMAO if he had the same personality as jaems....insanely egotistical god complex and all.....i think this would have turned out to be a love triangle AHAHS GM SKW. bUT— but hehe. i have another richkid fic in the dusty corners of my google docs rn. a 00’ line fic in fact HAHA so totw jaemin and jeno will be making a comeback here (ofc this is an entirely different universe but their characterizations are essentially the same HEHEHEHEHEH).

anyway !! thank u so much for sharing ur thoughts on totw ;o; 💞 this rlly made my day no joke HAHA i'm so happy to hear you liked this aaaaa. and yes. maw jaemin was the cause of all of this. something snapped in him during that era and led me to write this very self indulgent fic. thank u HAGHSKA.

[shorkbrian]

Ask Answering

Ask answering time!

As always, if you don’t see your ask answered, it just means I’m saving it to attach it to a fic, Drabble, or HC. 

If you’d prefer to not see these types of posts from me, block the tag “shorkbrian answers a lot of asks”

CAn I be one of those pies that has birds in it? Goth pie.  But ty dude, and you aren’t pathetic lol. we’re all in this boat together.

Me sitting in class all the time just like 

but I wish you luck as well man! collemge edumakashun here we cum

Hello black heart anon (: You’re always in my inbox and I love it so so so much, you don’t even know 

lub u black heart anon

thank u luv <3 

(legitimately I see this ask every time I go to fill a req and askuhkdk it makes me wheeze)

Guess what Awaso? 

In Love With You. This is such a genuine and heartfelt message, I would let you bite my ear whenever you wanted, let me be the Van Gogh to ur knife bby. 

forrreal, I know logically that a lot of the feelings I have are normal and are part of being a teenager. Fun story but for like the first 16-17 years of my life I was convinced there was something wrong with me because I didn’t feel the need to express emotions. I could count on one hand how many times I’d cried in the past two years. Then I went to therapy and talked about stuff and my therapist taught me how to cry. I still can’t really cry, but at least it happens lol. So while it’s kinda embarrassing and stupid, a little part of me is glad I’m able to express my emotions instead of just stuffing them down my shirt like a little kid stuffing a pillow down their shirt trying to emulate a pregnant woman.

Okay I'm done lol, anyways, thank you for this message. I’ve read and re-read it many, many times.

It’s not stupid!!!!!! Do not apologize!!!!!! fantasies are fantasies, I get it bro (:

still cannot believe there are people out there who genuinely enjoy my stuff... like y’alll... I thought it was a joke...

But I would be willing to write a second part! I just need help coming up with like an idea cause idek how to go from there lol. 

could you guys pls stop giving me compliments I am genuinely going to cry like a little bitch and I have to uphold the image of being the funniest person in my household and If I start crying then I cannot do that. Pls. My Image

Listen, she can be whoever you want her to be! long lost sister, adopted sister, the kid he used to babysit that coincidentally loves horror movies and the same stuff he likes. Could be the kid that came over to help clean his father’s gigantic house, could be the bagger at the grocery store. You get to control who it is! That’s the cool bit!

You have thus been dubbed “Iced Chocolate Anon” (What is that btw? is that a thing?). Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m sorry that you had to go through that experience, I can’t imagine that it was easy or fun or even fruitful. I’m glad you’re looking at life through a different lens, and that you’re down to share that lease with other people. I’ve been trying to be better, to get better.

What did I just say about not making me cry it’s gonna Ruin My Image man. DOn’t be nice to me PLEASE I'm asjfshkgkfs

me every time I open my page/look at my pfp

do you-do you wanna share the medicine I take

Thank you! He’s always fun to write for lol

ty for the draca-snoop. He was and is much appreciated (:

I get what you’re saying, and you make really checking good points. I guess I just get too caught up with how I should try to be, because I don’t know what to do on this site and so I just kinda follow everyone else? and try to make sure I'm following the unwritten rules. Like I don’t want people getting mad cause I don’t answer asks right away or anything, yanno? idk, stuff is hard lol amirite

I owe myself the care and attention to make time to do things I enjoy. I enjoy writing, I enjoy seeing what people send me. I enjoy the experience. Y’all are rad as heck!

WHAT KIND OF REQUEST IS THAT

the first request I’ll ever be denying sorry luv

well I do not know what to do cause other people say

so I’m just standing here idek anymore

why inhale my posts when you could be inhaling this di-

Thank you kind stranger! although pls don’t admire my hands, I need new ones. hand donations are open ! I can only type like 70(?) wpm and I have an essential tremor and so I’m shaking like it’s -42 degrees at all times. please, I want different hands. I mean if you wanna we can trade. But essentially lol the point was THANK YOU you’re super nice

ik this was back before I set up my master list and I was crying and whining and being annoying about it. You worded this so nicely! I think I’m only going to be uploading actual fics and one shots there, because the thirst posts and drabbles don’t fit the ao3 format lol.

I feel like I need to accept that Kirishima is my comfort character lol. I love him sm. I think of him and just 

“Or just post anything, really.” have fun watching me post about Kirishima 2465972658729 before even thinking about any other character loooooool

AO3 Anon!!!! This message made me feel so warm and loved and ugh, you’re literally too sweet and too kind and a literal angel on earth. You rock. I hope YOU have a lovely day/night.

thank u bby (wink wonk wink)

gahfdsgkdh KIDDING but lol my intent was that Sero is a GIANT perv, but in the process of being a giant perv, he fell in love with u mwuah 

I’m sorry lol

Okay, I will be 100% hoenest here.... I rlly don’t like Enji. writing for him is like an impossible task for me, I have no Simp Sauce for him. But you know who does, and who is really cool, and would love to explore these ideas with you? @implexedactions​ 

Enji is THEIR man and ONLY their man lol. 

It’s not over-stepping, and it’s not weird, no worries. Remember folks, I don’t kink shame or character shame here (I do admit when something isn’t my particular jam, but just cause I don’t froth for it doesn’t mean others shouldn’t, yanno? Like what you like), and there is very little I see as weird lol.

thank you for the concern though, I appreciate it.

And with that, we have ended. TY for coming to my (Shorky) ask answering session. Have a good night and drink some freakin water, right now. Finish reading this and get up and go get water. It’s good for you. TY

[toflyandfall]

YAY :D! OK, I wanted to please ask what your thoughts were on Dick and Shawn's relationship. Did you feel it was in character? Did you feel it made sense? Did you want them to last or did you feel it came out of left field and didn't make any sense? How did you feel about the pregnancy scare and how they broke up ("I know what I said/did was shitty but we can fix this. We can make this work!") - does it sound like Dick? I'm also happy ur still here. I'm so used to asking you & Shelly so thank u!

I'll be honest with you, anon--DC burnt me hard with the Spyral travesty and then putting Tom King on Batman and keeping Seeley on Nightwing, so I don't keep up with current DC comics.  I don’t enjoy them and nearly without exception I don’t find them to be written well or in character. However, you're very sweet and I want to help fill the meta void in your life, so I read through Dick and Shawn's arc together and here's my analysis.

 I’m dividing this into two parts.  The first half will be as objective as possible and analyze your questions on whether Dick seems in character, what he says during the break up, etc.  It’s roughly chronological, starting when we first meet Shawn and continuing through to the break up itself.

The second half I’ll put under a readmore, as it’ll answer your questions about my more subjective opinions about the arc.

 Let’s start by looking at Dick’s previous and most happy relationships to see what good indicators for an in-character relationship would be.

  Getting physically involved with someone -before- having a secure emotional connection with them is not in character for him.  All of Dick's major relationships have been preceded by extended periods of mutual flirtation and bonding before physical overtures.  His most significant and longest lasting romantic connections began by building emotional and romantic attachment before sexual intimacy, frequently paired with a shared history together that precedes even the flirtation.  

There’s significant canon evidence that he’s demi sexual: a comprehensive, though hardly exhaustive, collection of it can be found here and here (the latter half of the second link relates to the Grayson series specifically, but overall it offers a nice long view on his relationship history since character creation and also addresses beyond-canon factors at DC that impacted some relevant canon writings.)  Whether you use the label demi for him or not, it’s canon that he’s not comfortable jumping into bed without a secure emotional connection.

 So let’s look at Shawn’s relationship with Dick through the lens of relationships in which he was the happiest and most comfortable.  Those relationships have these things in common:  

He has a stable, safe emotional connection to the individual.

He is willing and comfortable engaging in banter and flirtation.  

Relationship is based on mutual respect and affection, often paired with shared history together.

Now, let’s look at Shawn’s relationship.

Their ‘history’ together (as Defacer and Robin) is antagonistic, and their interaction in the past leave Dick feeling uneasy. Sure, he seems to think about her situation, but as this panel reads, the kindest that can be said of any emotional connection there seems to be here is one-sided pity.

Nightwing #10 (Nightwing: Back to Bludhaven)

Once they meet again, she’s his boss.  Even or perhaps especially in the world of #MeToo, it’s important to address workplace relationships, particularly boss/employee scenarios, with care and sensitivity.  Seeley sidesteps this by just…having her later quit the non-profit she founded and giving Dick her position for a while.  However, even if she’d just worked in HR at an equal level with him when they met instead of being his boss, let’s look at the amount of participation he shows in their first meeting:

Nightwing #10 (Nightwing: Back to Bludhaven)

There is a lot of her talking and almost none of him.  He’s not engaged in their interaction here.  Where he tries later as Nightwing to engage more personally, he’s immediately shut down.  The most dialogue we hear from him is in his own head—in their first meeting, the ratio of her dialogue to his is literally 22 sentences to 9.  Of those 9 sentences, one is a lie he gives to avoid establishing an emotional connection with her, another she interrupts, and three of which were less than five words long: “Sorry.” “You can call me Dick” and “Thanks, Ms Chang”.  Even taking the workplace environment into account as best we can, this is not meeting any of the three criteria for Dick to be feeling emotionally attachment or attraction.  No one would look at those 9 almost-sentences and that flashback and say, “Ah yes, this man is deeply infatuated with her.”  

This is made even more jarring by the fact that the internal narration frequently doesn’t match the actual scenes we’ve witnessed.   

Nightwing #11 (Nightwing: Back to Bludhaven)

Nothing about the few sentences Dick has managed to finish around Shawn when this narration comes up has said ‘attraction’, physical or otherwise, but the dialogue here reads like Dick was laying the flirtations on thick every time he saw her.  Same with when they talk about the flashback scene later.  There’s a lot of cognitive disconnect between what Seeley wants to tell us happened and what we actually see and hear and have evidence of between the characters.

If you’re wondering why I’m examining these initial interactions with particular depth, it is because frankly, these are the most interactions the two have together for roughly the first five issues of their ‘getting to know each other’ phase...and when they reunite at the end of those issues, we are supposed to believe they are already heavily, life-changingly in love.  So, for all intents and purposes, this scattered handful of conversations is all we have to analyze to examine whether this fits the qualifications for whether Dick would feel comfortable and emotionally attached enough to approach a physical relationship.

We have three chances in their various guises for Dick and Shawn to meet and start developing that all-important rapport.  This is our first initiation to their relationship and it certainly doesn’t read as a positive one.  The next one, she yells at him and kicks him out—again, a whole page of her dialogue to a fragmented sentence of his.  The third one, the flashback panel posted above, they don’t even speak to each other. Two of them are actively red-flags of being unable to establish a closer connection with that person; the third is a neutral connection.  This is not the kind of two-way interaction we see where he’s comfortable and interested in someone, and this is not an emotionally secure connection.  

Shawn disappears for three issues or so, during which they have, obviously, no interactions.

The very next after that, by the end of it, she lunges into him to kiss him.  

The next issue after that, they’re evidently in honeymoon heaven and already shacking up.  

Trust me, we’ll be going over that under the readmore later.

Back in the area of the objective, if you ever need to know the number of days Tim Seeley thinks is needed for two people with self-admitted enormous trust issues to form the ideal Hollywood manic pixie dream girl relationship, we were given a careful timeline.  

68 days—first date

Nightwing #15 (Nightwing: Back to Bludhaven)

62 days—first intercourse.

Nightwing #15 (Nightwing: Back to Bludhaven)

Six days.  Not even a week.

They’ve met each other, then met each other’s parents and are living together and are one baby scare away from the suburbs in less time than it takes for someone to finish a semester at college.  It took literally longer for the issues of Nightwing where Shawn was an absent character in her own arc to get published in our real lives than it did for their on-panel romance to go from not even knowing each other to Nightwing (not Dick, but Nightwing) kissing Shawn (not Defacer, but Shawn) upside down in the middle of the city.

Trust issues, amirite?

Nightwing #15 (Nightwing: Back to Bludhaven)

Meanwhile during that mostly off-panel ‘dating’ period we have these wildly out of character moments. In particular, there are two noteworthy things.

Shawn says she never would have pinned Dick for being a traditionalist.  

That directly contradicts…well…most of the statements people close to him have made of his dating views, and also his own self-stated views of them, whose top tracks include things like “…this might sound unhip, but I feel strange about living with someone I’m not married to”, “I gotta be honest, Roy—I couldn’t make love to someone I didn’t really love”, and “Love should be between two people”.  

We have a direct parallel of an in-character Dick moment walking someone home after an early date to use for comparison.  

Nightwing #31  

Things Dick does in this panel: reassures his date there is no pressure for sex and the night will not be ending that way, plan out just about the most traditional date experience, and engage in light-hearted mutual bantering.  

Additional relevant context around this panel: Dick and Clancy have known each other for months and have a friendly, mutually respectful connection.  Dick’s turned down a sizable number of invitations from her because despite living in the same building, the vigilante life made it difficult for him to make and keep plans.  This is their second date because Dick had to bail in the middle of their first.  It took months both in comics-time and in real-time of developing a mutual interest to lead up to that first real date.  And by then, the reader is invested in the status of that relationship, too.

To contrast the then vs now, we also have in that same moment with Shawn Dick, of all people, ignores a phone call without a second thought in favor of trying for a booty call. On the first date.  Let’s take a look at Dick and Clancy’s first date, 9 issues earlier than the one we just saw.

Nightwing #22  

Dick is a chronic workaholic, with all the associated inability to disconnect from his work while in relationships even during date night or intimate moments. It’s perfectly reasonable, considering that with his lifestyle choice, that phone call could be life or death for someone he loves, a stranger, or many, many someones, and it’s put significant strain on his past relationships when dating those not actively in the superhero lifestyle.  Clancy is, again, a great example of this--despite genuine interest on both sides, he blew her off at least half a dozen times because of vigilante emergencies before they even got to their first date.  And then despite their great rapport and a genuine interest in being there, he still ditched her in the middle of it when his phone rang.

What we see in Seeley’s Nightwing #15 not only runs directly contrary to significant chunks of his history and personality, it also tells a deeply upsetting story of a world where exists a horndog Dick Grayson who would risk other people’s lives to get laid with a chick he’s known less than a week.

They handle vigilante interruptions more in character in later issues once the relationship is established, but...yikes. 

Not in character.

We’re going to take a little jump here to move from discussing whether their relationship is in character for Dick to whether their breakup was in character.  

In general, it actually is pretty in character for Dick to panic himself into commitment in a romantic relationship even if he’s not really sure about it.  Dick is very interesting that way: he runs away from platonic relationships under tension, either by throwing himself into casework or by literally setting up in a new location.  If his romantic relationship is undergoing trauma, however, he's very capable of reacting the opposite, like in this example with Kory.

Team Titans #2

There’s even an awkward Devin Grayson incident where he thinks a woman is serial-murdering her husbands, fake-marries her to solve the case, uncovers the real killer who wasn’t her, and feels bad enough afterward that he offers to date her for real. (An interesting side-note: this makes Devin Grayson responsible for not one but two of Dick’s emotionally compromised almost-marriages. This one, at least, came before she jumped the shark with the dreaded Catalina Flores arc.)

Nightwing Annual #1

So let’s take a look at where Shawn’s exact circumstance falls in against those.

  To me, the lines that sound the most like Dick are actually the lines he says that cause their break-up.  

Nightwing #23 (Nightwing: Back to Bludhaven)

Dick has a lot of darkness and anger in him. He’s a lot like Bruce and he’s a lot scared of how much he’s like Bruce.  We’ve seen several timelines where Dick’s had biological children and we’ve also seen how he tempered Damian’s darkness when Bruce was lost in the timestream.  Though this arc and timeline does not show it well (and that’s a whole different meta), we have the advantage of having known how Dick behaves as a father in a way this particular Dick has never had to experience.  And we know that when kids are in the picture he does work hard at repressing or concealing his anger and darkness to be a good role model, often in a way he isn’t sure he has the capacity to do when there are no children involved.  Despite some of the specific phrasings being iffy, the general sentiments here do feel like legitimate concerns Dick would have.

With this knowledge, that moment felt significantly more honest to Dick Grayson’s character than most of the rest of their relationship.  

Nightwing #25 (Nightwing: Back to Bludhaven)

The actual break-up dialogue itself is…well, it’s not out of character, exactly, because as shown, Dick has been known to clutch onto potential romances hardest when he feels they’re about to slip away. But the delivery of it isn’t in character.  Yes, in general, Dick has a temper and he lashes out. However, he’s clearly aggressive and angry in this panel, where previous experience has showed us he should be at his most emotionally vulnerable and pleading.  Dick, who is a generally emotionally closed-off person despite his extroverted demeanor, reacts to these kind of romance scares by showing emotional vulnerability in ways he frequently is unable to do during the relationship itself.  And the panel that he’s apologizing for as being a crappy thing to have said, is…as mentioned, the panel that comes closest to a consistent Dick Grayson.

And the thing they’re fighting about is that Dick missed a job interview because he was doing Nightwing things.  Shawn fell in love with Dick knowing he was Nightwing (somehow), he’s been Nightwing the whole time they dated, constant interruptions and all, but she breaks up with him because somehow 'the thing I always loved most…you.’ apparently wasn’t one that included the Nightwing schedule.  She also seems to be both blaming him for wanting the baby and also accusing him of not wanting it.  At the risk of getting off-topic and subjective, I’ll be honest and say Shawn’s dialogue here makes no sense to me at all.

Dick’s tried not being Nightwing, in both pre-52 and new-52.  Dick spends a fair amount of pre-52 time either bouncing from job to job or lacking a day job entirely.  In both pre-52 and new-52, the Dick she’s claiming is the one she’s always loved the most…doesn’t exist anywhere I can think of. Certainly not anywhere during their on-panel relationship.

Now that we’ve looked at what we see of Dick and Shawn on-panel, it’s time to talk about the impact this has off-panel.

I happen to have been re-reading a lot of Chuck Dixon’s original Nightwing’s run lately.  And here’s the thing.  Clancy’s been showing up consistently in that run as someone Dick could be attracted to for for oh, about...two full graphic novels now (that’s 17 single-issues) and they haven’t so much as gone on a date, let alone shared a smooch. It takes 20 issues before they make it to the first date we saw from Nightwing #22.  I don’t remember if she’s in every single issue of that period, so I’m going to round down by probably a lot and say that’s a minimum of a year when this was getting published for us as readers to get to know her and how she interacts with Dick, to get interested and invested in a potential relationship.  In comics-time, it’s weeks before Dick actually sees her face, not just hears her voice.  Even if you’re reading post-publication like me, that’s hours and hours where we watch she and Dick bond and banter and develop a mutual interest.

That’s build up.  That’s emotional investment developed over time.

I’m not saying every single relationship has to take more than a year’s worth of issues on-panel to develop.  However, she does summarize one of the single biggest struggles for DC’s cadre of writers over the last few years.  Basically, the problem I have with this beyond just the characterizations is the same that made me stop reading from New 52 onward: DC constantly trying to skip out on the process of creating meaningful emotional build-up or connections but still expecting to cash in on an emotional payoff.  

You can’t go from ‘kissed once’ to ‘been together for years like an old married couple couple vibes’ off-pages like Nightwing #15 tries to do.  Even if you expect the readers to believe the protagonist now feels that connection (which, frankly, I don’t), we don’t have that connection to the relationship.  It’s a cheap paper cutout with no actual emotional content behind it--why should we care if it tears under pressure?  We have no stake in it; we don’t know why the protagonist has a stake in it.  It’s meaningless.  

As a reader, my experience with Shawn and Dick’s relationship is as follows: a) they meet in a scenario where she is his boss (strong do not date vibes) b) they meet as vigilante and paroled ex-villain and she doesn’t even let him finish a sentence (would not date) c) they show a flashback where they don’t even speak to each other (Robin pities her; no ‘date/no date’ vibe data gathered), d) they share a confusingly out of nowhere ‘emotional’ moment that didn’t match up with my prior understanding of either what I extrapolated from the flashback or what I saw in their on-panel interactions (vibe check, please??) then she disappears for several issues into police custody (no ‘date/no date’ vibe data gathered)  The very next time she sees him, she betrays him  (STRONG do not/would not date).  Then all of a sudden at the end of that issue she kisses him.  

My context for their relationship is based on two ‘emotional’ conversations of dubious quality and consistency, one ‘look’ where their dialogue contradicts my own understanding of the on-panel events, a shouting match or two, and a very major betrayal that just happened to work out alright for everybody but is never actually addressed.  Most of her introductory arc where we’d be piecing out how she fits in with Dick and how they interact together, she isn’t even there for.  They’ve known each other for less than a week.  I the reader have known them for, in my case, maybe an hour of read-time. 

And the very next time I see them, I’m supposed to believe, and more importantly, feel emotionally attached to the fact that They Are The Most In Love Couple To Ever Be In Love.  

Trying to put a timeline on intimacy as a gimmick instead of establishing genuine emotional connection never works.  Yes, maybe we knew that one person in high school or know someone in college who falls hard and often and met and married someone within two months, but Dick Grayson has never been that person.  Maybe this style of flashback manic pixie romance would be more believable if they’d tried it on a different character with a different history and personality, but it especially never works on a character like Dick Grayson with a strong history of being slow to decide his feelings and even slower to jump into bed. 

In order to work, the entire arc that follows with the kidnapping by Pyg is predicated on the fact that I, the reader, am supposed to already care about Shawn’s relationship with Dick, and that I, the reader, believe in the validity of Shawn’s relationship with Dick and in Dick’s commitment to it.  But I haven’t been given time or reason to do either of those things by the time that arc starts.  

You cannot shortcut relationships and expect them to be meaningful to the reader.

So they threw in a baby.  Because even if you don’t care about a relationship, everyone cares about babies.

Throwing in a baby to up the emotional stakes is just a further step up that same problematic cheap-shortcuts ladder I was talking about: like in a stereotyped failing marriage, if you feel like you have to add a kid just to put meaning into your relationship again, maybe what you actually need to do is take time and consider what that relationship is built on.

[bloodfcst-a]

given the revival of the vii fandom with all of the hullabaloo surrounding remake, i can think of no better time to do this meme. i also suggest you check out my updated nav page if you haven’t already! i worked really hard on it okay sobs.

things a new rp partner should know about me !

write 3-5 things a new rp partner (or those who want to be) should know about you and tag 3-5 people! it should be related to rp and not to other interests. 

tagged by: no one, but it’s a shame bc... i got thoughts. you were warned.

tagging: @angereve​ @enshijou​ @breselin​ @serophs​ @strfe​ @fractempyreal​ @extremepath​ @localmagicalboi​ @shimmerseas​ @duplikiss​ @verumking​ @asterites​ + if it strikes your fancy.

i. i am not your mother’s/father’s yu.ffie blog. while i do have a verse reserved for compilation content, that’s not the main premise of this blog. if you came here for oversexualized underage ninjas.... i’m going to have to direct you elsewhere. out here we’re primarily an adult modern interpretation... who does not daylight as a ninja constantly. she can, however, be a y.akuza or a sheltered member of high society who enjoys kicking ass for justice so if you’re interested in that, y’know. c’mon down.

ii. the typical ‘ yu.ffie is a kleptomaniac ’ / ‘ stop stealing my stuff ’ trope is like. one that grates my very existence. i have talked about this many times, but for those of you who are new: yufi has only stolen out of necessity to her cause. the only time i’ll refer to petty theft on this blog is if she like steals a fry or something. if we’re joking around, okay, but... please don’t consider that to be the sole core of her characterization. i’m begging. i’m on my knees. i’m warning you, i’ll cry and then i’ll probably ignore whatever post you’ve mentioned it in if you’re serious. just. don’t be that person if you’re following me.

if we’re going into it, the only times she’s stolen anything were: > in crisis core, as the ‘ treasure princess. ’  but this is arguable, as the treasure is truly up for grabs to start with & zack repeatedly goes after these locations she’s sent to him ( which, by the way, were sent to her from rufus to attempt to retaliate against + destroy shinra hq ). zack already knew what was up when: 1) she showed up in his spam folder; 2) she literally said she’s on the hunt for treasure; and 3) he knew at least after the second time that he was gon’ get goinked ( please see definition #2 ) so... can’t help him there. > in vanilla vii, when the party is foolish enough to meet her and not recruit her off the bat ( it be ya own self ). to be fair, 99% of her interactions with easterners / non-wutai prior to that moment had been people who either wanted to kill her or exploit her, so... it’s only self-preservation to use them before they use her or worse, leave her for dead. a sad reality for a 16 year old. > in vanilla vii, only after the party arrives to wutai & she thinks she can successfully finish her mission of “ getting all the strongest materia. ” after she’s captured, she does apologize, and then afterward makes cloud sign it in writing. so. y’know, she did learn from her mistake & said “ ugh, guess i gotta put that diplomacy training to use. ”

y’all could argue that she’s a thief class and that’s what they do, but note that it’s NOT one of her core skills-- it’s a MATERIA. which means everyone out there with a steal materia could be out here being a kleptomaniac. cloud? barret? tifa? red xiii? none of your favs are safe. her skills in the game, however, are shit called “ blood festival ” ( oh? see the username’s relevance all of a sudden? aha! ) and “ doom of the living. ”  she’s out here summoning ghosts and reigning otherworldly power on ur ass but... fandom wasn’t ready for that conversation !!  some folks were too BASIC and couldn’t handle her true strength... so i will gladly champion that for you.

iii. i like to emphasize that yufi is an emotionally strong yet traumatized figure, which stems from her origins and that i just put that in the forefront. we have a character who is haunted by her mother who died after childbirth, seemingly rejected from her father yet held to the highest of his standards, has attachment issues because she’s the “ black sheep ” and doesn’t just accept defeat or dejection even if it comes from her core community, survived multiple wars, has led in post-war rescue efforts on multiple occasions, was wrongfully imprisoned, was on the forefront of pandemic outbreaks as a first-responder, joins and rises to the top of an organization created to restore world order, is one of the two top operatives in said organization ( and the one out on the field longer--sorry vin.cent, but u only got involved at lu.cretia and when the actual gunshots disturbed your brooding and wine session filled isolation sessions. but like, mood tho ), pretends to be cheery despite clearly remembering all the hauntings and death and other bullshit she’s been facing since she was a toddler.... oh, and she disarmed bombs when her country was wrongfully targeted + used as political bait for terrorists...when she was a child. that’s canon, if we’re talking about  “ accuracy. ” even in vanilla vii, she had no outlets, no one to turn to, ‘cause everyone was cloud vc: “ not interested. ”  

so if you’re on this blog, it’s not like you won’t see happy  yufi... but realize that i recognize that she is multifaceted and has a lot of baggage. emotional issues which unfortunately i bring to every verse gfdohfofh but u know, it’s core to her character + y’all gon have to deal, or... idk, go find another yufi. i’m not forcing you to be here.

iv. in my opinion, the best plotting comes with ooc conversations/interactions. i’m not saying if we plot that we’re required to be friends, ‘cause i don’t wanna force anyone into friendship, but i truly believe that if you want super deep plots with frequent interactions, we should... probably talk more than once. pretty simple, imo !  sometimes people claim i play favorites, but i really don’t... if you never talk to me and you don’t respond to my attempts to interact, then how am i supposed to know you’re interested? 

as a general rule, i’ll put in as much effort as i receive. if i see you’re interested in me, if we’re really vibing when it comes to plotting, if you’re sending asks & liking posts, we’ve got some threads going, rad !  if i like starter calls and send you asks and message you and you never respond to me... ?  i’ll take that as a sign you don’t wanna talk + i should move on to someone else. if i’m wrong, well... do something to change my mind.

v. i know i went hard as fuck on this meme, but that’s bc I’M REALLY PASSIONATE ABOUT ABOUT THIS MUSE.  in reality i’m actually quite soft + a weenie babie. if you ask.......... most people, i think they’d say i try really hard to be approachable and adaptable. i think everyone who talks to me on discord laughs at me because i’m scared of the stupidest things + i love to make jokes and just be funny and relatable. so please be nice and love me and my sassy fighty extremely tough deprived child. we both need hugs. 

kthx i’m finally done.

[flightsrsk]

hello hello all !!! my name is riley and this is my actual trash son maverick, aka the flight risk !!! i am so so hyped to get the ball rollin on this, so check out info on my kid under ze cut !!

warning: this got rlly mcfreaking long and i am so sorry fjdklsjs i am incapable of writing a short intro post

unfortunately i will not be able to be around for the official opening bc i’m on vacation w my fam and godparents, but i will try and intermittently read intros and chat to you guys about plots !!!! PLS feel free to bombard me through IMs or through discord if any plot sparks ur interest or u think mav could fit well in one of ur plots!!! :’)

THE BASICS

Name: Maverick Hobbes Braxton

Age: Twenty-one

Gender: Cismale

Pronouns: He/Him

Major & year: Philosophy, Third year

Faceclaim: Alex Fitzalan

Occupation: N/A

THE FLIGHT RISK

Maverick Braxton, as you might see, is an enigma—or rather, has evolved into one, slowly: a transformation that begun with his first breath. In his early years, the stage had been set for him, line by line. Act One: attend prep schools, excel in classes. Act Two: attend Covington, take center stage—you know, all of the things his older brother, Richard had accomplished with ease, just one year prior to all of his expectations. It was simple, really: a blueprint laid out ahead of him, with little to nothing in his way.

The only problem was that Maverick didn’t exactly see the point in choosing that path, that stage, that story. To him, it wasn’t challenging.

That, and the fact that the life laid out in front of him offered him absolutely nothing.

A series of banal expectations, unfair comparisons, and heartbreaking betrayals, and the traditional life of the Braxton child was thrown out the window—at least, in his brain, it was. See, Maverick Braxton, while independent, coy, and arrogant, isn’t stupid. He knows if he pleases his parents just enough, they’ll still distribute his trust fund and still bail him out of legal trouble when he inevitably tiptoes too far down the delicate line between ambition and rebellion. Perhaps it’s a bit selfish, but what does he owe to a family who paid him no attention, who never asked of his well-being, his own ambitions, his personal dreams?

He’s the kind of person to drive down the highway, windows rolled all the way down, cigarette lit—not because he necessarily likes the taste of nicotine, but because he likes the way the smoke creates clouds that obscure reality. He’ll surprise you in class when he interjects with a sarcastic but surprisingly salient point before throwing up his hood and retreating to the back corner for the rest of class. He’s the kind of person to start reading a book, flipping incessantly through the pages, both impatient by the pace of the plot, yet put it down before he reaches the final pages because he doesn’t want to be disappointed by the ending. He’s the kind of artist who rarely finishes a sketch, the writer who is never satisfied by a poem—for fear, of course, by deep-rooted insecurities that nothing that he will ever do will be enough.

A once-broken heart had taken time to mend, even though it seems ice-cold and whole from the outside. It’s why he has commitment issues: he doesn’t want to be burned again. He plays off his flirtatious bit as a personality trait, someone who is bored by the prospect of being tied down—and yet those who share his bed might consider him Covington’s most surprisingly deep pillow-talker.

An enigma, you see—one who doesn’t stick around long enough for anyone to truly understand, truly a Flight Risk.

BIOGRAPHY:

( You can read his full biography here! Still in the process of editing it a bit, but below are some important bullet points! )

Maverick was born the second of three children to the Braxton family—and as per usual with the Braxton children, he was born into a life filled to the absolute brim of expectation.

His father, a playwright, his mother, an actress. His brother, a theatre prodigy—what part did that leave him to play? The assumed expectations were to follow in his mother and brothers’ footsteps and take center stage; he excelled, for a while, but Maverick always felt lost.

Neighbors and family friends would always ask if he had measured up, in each and every shape and form: it was like the entire universe had a scoreboard with their names titling each section, and Maverick was always playing catch-up, never knowing where the finish line was.

For a while, he stuck to the script that was given to him: study, succeed, repeat. He tried to understand the ins and outs of his father’s work, of masterful acting techniques, trying to make a large enough splash to where his family would even notice the work he put into his life. Surprise: it didn’t.

It took him seventeen years to truly understand that his role in life was not exactly the story his parents had laid out for him, but rather, his sibling, instead.

Downcast emotions transformed quickly into cynicism. What used to make him feel sad now fueled a blue fire within Maverick’s chest, one that felt wronged by the system he was placed in: a complete first-world problem, but it was then and there when he decided to take advantage of his situation, given that he had spent his entire life dedicated to a part he wouldn’t play.

Hypocritical as he was, he still enjoyed the fruits of his parents’ work, cashing the unlimited checks with his name on them, as if it was some sort of sick version of love.

One piece of recognition that Maverick finally earned was an acceptance to Covington—and even that couldn’t be tainted by his brother’s success or his legacy status.

At Covington, Maverick has both lost and found his footing, multiple times. He’s quit acting, quit studying theater, in favor of a topic that stimulates his brain more than reading lines and

PERSONALITY:

Maverick Braxton is certainly a paradox. He’s charismatic, funny, and has a witty sense of humor –– and is generally appreciated by his peers because he’s able to move conversation and discussion without making topics seem dry.

Despite his apparent inferiority to his sibling, the Braxton family still breeds the cream of the crop. He’s certainly a bit arrogant sometimes, given that he’s intelligent, innovative, and clever, and wants to be recognized for it –– however, even if he might not show it on the outside, he appreciates a good challenger. He thinks it keeps his wit sharp, and of course, his ego would never show it, but he does appreciate learning from people. After all, his passion in philosophy, his current area of study, makes him certainly interested in how the world works.

Those who happen to get to know Maverick outside of the surface-level stuff, outside the initial cockiness and flirtatious front he puts on will know that he’s actually quite thoughtful. His lonely childhood has made him extremely loyal to those who have shown him similar trust and friendship –– he would never turn his back on them.

He asks probing questions, is a good listener –– perhaps because he’s interested in human decision making, but is also because he doesn’t quite know what it’s like to be loved unconditionally –– though he wants to.

Deep down, what almost no one knows is that he’s really quite soft. He passes his curiosity off as wanting to understand people, when really it’s a mechanism for hoping someone asks him questions in return, to give him the time of day he wished his parents ( and the rest of the goddamned universe ) had given him.

Despite his theatre prowess, he isn’t actually a particularly good liar. Those who spend enough time around him can hear his tone of voice incline slightly and see him scratch his brow.

AESTHETICS:

coffee-stained mugs, walking with headphones in but nothing playing, untied shoelaces, black hoodies, a cheeky smirk, small books in his back pocket, writing in the margins, unfinished poems, quoting old authors on a daily basis, incessant eye-rolling, pen ink stains, an unmade bed, mismatched socks, floral ties, empty bottles of liquor, rose thorn pricks, old worn poetry books, polished dress shoes, calloused fingers, unlit cigarettes between teeth.

HEADCANONS:

Funnily enough, Maverick’s name means ‘independent, a noncomformist’, which is exactly the path that he has taken to stray away from his family’s expectations.

He does have one strong connection to his family, though: his grandmother, on his father’s side. She understands the pressure he undergoes, who saw the pressure Maverick’s father endured to obtain the success he has. She is one of the only reasons that Maverick has not just jetted off to take on his own adventure. He loves her dearly, and wishes that her empathy and wisdom would rub off on the rest of his family.

Maverick has some form of synesthesia, which allows him to remember a lot more than the average person. He associates colors, smells, sounds, to words –– and allows him to efficiently study any subjects he doesn’t have immediate passion for.

In the privacy of his own bedroom, he sometimes writes poetry and sketches his thoughts and muses –– when he knows he’s in complete privacy. Faces and features that appear in his sketchbooks are often those he’s thinking of often, those who intrigue him. He’s actually quite good a sketching, maybe not quite as good at writing poetry.

His room is spotless –– evidence that he is a bit of a control freak sometimes. It shows that during his adolescence, he reveled in the parts of his life that he could control and perfect.

tw drugs. He more than dabbles in drug use, smoking marijuana maybe every other day, while partaking in harder drugs like cocaine and adderall and others probably once a week. He feels like he’s in control of his use, but it may start to get the best of him. end tw.

Maverick is left-handed. He hates that he gets pen ink stains when he draws, writes poetry, takes notes. His left palm is probably perennially covered with ink.

Though he’s often wearing headphones ( airpods, of course, the nerve of this rich kid ), half the time, nothing’s playing. Sometimes he forgets to press play on his phone, sometimes he purposely likes listening to decision-making and conversations of strangers. it lets him think about the nature of mankind.

Maverick’s favorite philosopher is Albert Camus, known for his work that heavily developed the idea of absurdism ( much to do with the meaning of life, and human inability to discern an answer ).

Maverick’s preferred method of transportation is his skateboard. he loved it first because his parents hated it: pushing himself around on a board like that would get him injured—besides, why not just take the car to school, the driver had been paid for anyway? It was his first taste of rebellion. Now at Covington, where skateboarding is far more efficient than walking across campus, it comes in handy when he sees someone he’d rather not stop and chat to.

Maverick could die with a poetry book nestled on his chest—it’s the one thing he got out of the impressive book collection his family owned. There was something daunting and beautiful about the way poems would transform metaphors into something fantastical, like the emotions were clearly there, but the words were skirting the issue. Kind of like how his parents would never really tell him they loved him.

Maverick often has headphones in when he walks to class. not particularly because he’s actually listening to music or a podcast, but rather because he’d just … rather not be bothered to stop and talk to people.

Maverick loves to draw. He’s mostly self-taught, with a bit of mentorship from his high school art teacher. Evidenced by the rest of his fleeting personality, he rarely finishes a sketch or painting. He claims he never has time to finish them, but the number of crumbled-up, half-finished sketches in his trash bin might say otherwise.

PLOTS

** see my wanted plots tag here too! // and my plots page here !!

* FIRST LOVE / OPEN.

It wouldn’t be easy to make Maverick feel like even more of a disappointment than he already had with his parents, his family—but your muse proved this feeling wrong. He loved them, more than he’d ever loved anything before. In the midst of confusion about where he belonged, he felt safe with your muse; he’d do anything for them. Things ended, he felt betrayed ( though the break-up could have easily been due to a fault of his ), and the split made him the one who now struggles fully with commitment. He doesn’t want to have his heart broken again. See: this entire pinterest board.

but also if u give me this ……………… i’ll name my firstborn after u

* BEST FRIEND / OPEN.

Those who go through similar childhood traumas are often able to understand each other –– that was how it worked with Maverick and your muse, at least. They’re thick as thieves — and have likely seen the ups and downs of Maverick’s life in real time.

* CHILDHOOD FRIENDS / OPEN.

Self explanatory—and also probably knows about the pressures the Braxton family imposes on their children.

* EX-FRIENDS / OPEN.

Friends who were close, close no longer. Maverick’s a real piece of work, and an asshole, too—there are myriad possibilities for why Maverick could have pushed them away. He wouldn’t openly admit that he misses being around your muse, but he certainly would feel a bit of guilt given that they’re no longer the closest of friends.

* MOMENT OF WEAKNESS / OPEN.

Your muse, in whatever unfortunate setting, saw a glimpse of Maverick’s soft side that hardly ever makes an appearance. He’s not going to let them tell the world about his vulnerabilities, though. Not a chance.

* DISLIKED / OPEN.

Maverick is sarcastic, cold, and sometimes emotionless. It’s not surprising that not everyone gets along with the middle Braxton. The possibilities are endless—throw in some sexual tension and I’d actually fall at ur feet.

* PREVIOUS ROOMMATES / OPEN.

Your muse, at one point, probably knew Maverick better than everyone else at Covington. They overheard some of his phone calls with his parents, saw his notes for how he was to achieve his life goals, heard him crying in the middle of the night when he thought your muse was asleep. They could be extremely close now, as in one of the few people Maverick opens up to, or could be distant friends who know about one anothers’ struggles. The possibilities are endless, tbh.

+ ANYTHING LEGITIMATELY ……… IF U THINK THERE’S POSSIBILITY FOR SOMETHING COOL W MAV AND UR MUSE. SIGN ME THE F UP. THANKS.

[wxldchxld]

@ashayara girl I cannot keep up with all ur urls lol

so this was supposed to be the final part of this, and it was supposed to all come to a clear and concise finish.... but i don’t think it will. on the bright side i’m 99 percent certain you’re the only one reading this and i know you won’t hold it against me.

but if, by any chance, anyone needs an explanation, I was just having a fucker of a time writing Asha and Euron’s fight, because as this entire piece makes it clear: I really suck at fight scenes. But, I mean, I’m proud I stuck this whole thing out. All parts put together made 25 pages in a doc and I feel like for the most part I followed through. Maybe @ashayara will write it, maybe we’ll all just imagine Asha stabbing her uncle 50 million times, or maybe I’ll  finish this one day, but for right now I needed to put it down. Sorry Elsie. Still have mad love for you girl.

The sea was bizarrely silent beneath the prow of her ship. One ill omen among hundreds it seemed. If not for her oarsmen she doubted the tide would have carried them at all. The wind was still and suffocating, sticking to her lungs and dragging along her throat and chest as she tried to breathe normally. Everything felt wrong. She could taste bile behind her lips, and for a moment she gripped the railing of her deck thinking she might lose what little food she’d managed to eat, but it stayed. She forced a breath and straightened her shoulders once more.

The Black Wind had been driven tirelessly forward since Victarion had told her of his plan earlier that morning, and it was late into the evening now. The light of the moon was cold and unforgiving above her, unimpeded by the clouds, and the only sound for miles was that of oars smacking against the surf. Beyond the moon a million stars danced in the black sky. How could such a picturesque evening feel so sinister?

“You worry for her.” Qarl said quietly. He sounded surprised, and she could detect the slightest edge of disapproval in his tone. Just what he was currently disapproving of she wasn’t sure; it felt like she’d done everything wrong lately.

A huff of silent laughter rolled past her lips and shook her shoulders. With a half grin and a sideways glance she asked, “Are you jealous?”

It was cruel. She knew that it was the second she’d said it. Her words were a barb that sliced like a blade into a still open wound. They’d scarcely spoken since her wedding, and when they had spoken it certainly hadn’t been about her wife. It hadn’t been said, but neither of them knew how to reconcile the relationship they’d had before it’d happened, or even if they should try. She’d brought that painful reality out from the shadows and into the light with one careless sentence.

“How do you think the witches will respond when they help win me a crown paid for with the blood of their own?” In truth she wasn’t sure what her wife was to the witches. She held some station, by birthright as well as something to do with their religion, but that was the extent of her own knowledge on the subject. What she did understand, quite clearly, was that their marriage had been arranged to symbolize a promise to the witches. Beck was a breathing symbol of their alliance, and if Asha neglected or failed her wife, she failed them all. The witch king had given her this warning himself… and he did not seem to her to be the forgiving type. Asha shook her head. “If we manage to defeat Euron and she dies, we’ll be lucky if the witches with us now don’t all turn on us. Their king wouldn’t forgive that.”

Qarl was quiet, sullenly watching the waves. She couldn’t tell if he was mulling over what she’d said or covering up some unsightly emotion, or not paying attention at all.

“But you worry over her.” He said finally. This time she could her anger straining his voice.

“...I do.” She said after a long, tense moment had passed. Though she didn’t let herself dwell on that thought. The more she did the sicker she got. It was preferable to focus on the threats of the witches rather than the crushing guilt and bizarre sense of sadness that overwhelmed her when she thought about what Euron might do to her wife. Beck was vibrant and joyful and warm and---soft. She’d stand no chance against ironmen. If that light was snuffed out beneath her uncle’s boot, she’d never put it out of her mind. At least she doubted she would live long enough to let that guilt consume her.

“What the hell is that?” Asha opened her eyes and turned back to Qarl, but her gaze didn’t linger on him long. Behind him, against the midnight blue sky, a luminous orange cloud of mist was resting over the waters. At first she thought it was smoke, and that deep within the heart of a smog her ships were burning, but as they drew closer she could see it wasn’t smoke at all.

“Go and get Cuyler.” She demanded, sending Qarl a cutting look. Cuyler was the only witch left on her ship. There was little need for strategy and war council now. They hadn’t the time. Their only hope was to hit Euron hard and fast with everything they had and pray to the Drowned God for favor. Or---whatever witches prayed to.

Qarl all but ran across the ship, and Asha’s gaze drifted from him to her sailors, who had all stopped to gape open-mouthed at the enormous cloud beyond them. Wordlessly they began to brace the sails and tie down anything loose for fear they were headed straight into the eye of a storm. Was it terror or excitement she saw in their eyes? Perhaps both. Should they die here in battle not a one would be turned away from the halls of the Drowned God.

Unless he forsakes us all. She thought. The Damphair had preached many a sermon about not spilling Ironborn blood. While most of the blood would likely be spilled by her allies, they did so in her name, and she’d be a fool to let herself think she’d get through the night without having to strike down any of her own.

All for a crown… She shook her head as she turned back to the problem at hand. More than just a crown now. My birthright has driven me here, perhaps, but now it has become so much more.

This war was its own beast now, with its own life. When her uncle had sounded the dragon horn that day, he’s blown life into its lungs. Tonight she would slay it and him in one fell swoop, and in doing so it would save her people from ruin. Ruin that could only come from serving under a man who cared only for his own whims.

“The ships!” Asha startled a bit, having been so deeply lost in her own thoughts she hadn’t heard anyone approach. Culyer was standing behind her, fast approaching the railing of the ship. His thick, scarred hands gripped at the sodden wood, and he smiled for the first time since she’d met him.

“Ships? I don’t see any damn ships. Only that fog.” She jerked her head in the direction of the mist, but the witch only stared ahead.

“What fog, good queen?” He asked, not bothering to turn to face her. Though he did have the decency to drop the smile from his face given her tone.

“What fog?” She replied, her words hard and mocking, then she stopped and considered him. “What do you see?”

“Not but moonlight.”

Qarl cut in with a small, humorless laugh. “No giant cloud of orange mist?”

Cuyler, who Asha was certain at this point didn’t even remotely understand the concept of a joke at all, only looked at him as if he were the greatest idiot to ever sail the seas. “I see… Stop your ships. Drop anchor.”

“Drop the anchor?” She was starting to feel like a parrot she was repeating so much. Only that time it hadn’t been on purpose. She was genuinely shocked that he thought it’d do them any good to stop when the enemy was in sight---well in his sight at least.

“If you can see a mist where I can not the other witches must have surrounded your uncle’s boats in this mist to protect themselves.”

“Do you think all of your people can see through it?”

“Aye, and likely your uncle’s wizard as well.” The witch peered back out into the distance, and she watched as the pupil of his eye grew to twice the size, and his eyes, as well as his tattoos took on a faint glow. “Most of his ships are still far from our own; all but one.”

He didn’t need to tell her which one it was.

“If the witches who spread the fog can keep up the spell, we can take but one or two ships onward and cut down this Crow’s Eye. After our retreat we can drown all that remain.”

Asha took a brief moment to think. The swirling mist seemed to be reaching out to them now, when they’d felt miles away only a few moments ago. It was barely half a league from them now.

“Send someone to Victarion’s ship to help him navigate the fog. Have the rest of the fleet drop anchor. Bring the witch leaders here to me.”

Cuyler’s grin grew to something truly enormous and sharp and altogether horrific, “To battle then!”

Her eyes lost focus of him for a moment, even though she tried her damnedest to watch him closely. There was a blur, either in her eye or in the very space where he stood, his body contorted, colors smeared across reality as if drawn by a thick brush of paint, and then flapping two mammoth wings in the air directly before her, an eagle appeared where Cuyler had stood. The dark golden brown of its feathers muddled with creamy ivory around its head, and its tail was as white as the sea foam. He was larger than her, larger than Qarl, with claws that could have pierced a suit of iron with but a twitch. The razor sharp beak rose to the sky, and he screamed out over the waters so loud that the sound overwhelmed all her senses and carried as far as the sea was long. The shrill, grating note struck inside her like lightning, then with a single flap of his wings, he shot into the sky and soared out toward the awaiting ships.

Their short journey toward the mist passed in the blink of an eye, and when the very tip of the prow reached out to touch it, the entire ship lurched. Behind her she heard a chorus of shouts as men braced themselves while the Black Wind came to a screeching halt. The vessel pitched forward, its tip bending down to nearly kiss the waves, and then like an angry stallion it reared back up and threw its weight forward obstinately.

“Lift the oars! Pull them in!” She demanded, unable to release the rope clutched in her fingers lest she be pitched over the rail. The rough fiber clawed at her skin and chased away the normal chill of the sea to replace it with a raw, uncomfortable warmth. The bones of her fingers dug in harder, and she braced her boots against the deck as the residual motion rocked her ship like a child’s toy. When it was only just under control, she called the oarsmen to get back to work.

Asha took a steadying breath and then hurled herself toward the mast. Another rope found its way into her hand as she helped two other men grapple with the rebellious sails.

Eerily, it was not that the wind howled around them, nor that the waters below were wild, that couldn’t have been farther from the truth. There was a gut piercing, blood chilling silence to the world around them. She could scarcely see ten feet in front of her, and the mist seemed to suck sound from the air around them.

“Láta!” Came the cry of Ragna, but it was small and far away. Another voice echoed the word, and again and again. Láta. Láta. Until she could see the mist in front of her part, rolling like massive waves wide enough to allow them passage. The air rushed back into her lungs, and beneath her the ship settled.

“They’ve resorted to blood magic.” The red-eyed woman said. “Death drives this spell.”

Somehow she’d appeared at the front of her ship without Asha noticing her at all, and the other witches were fast approaching too. Now their voices were whispers, but in their hands they each clasped long iron wands in white-knuckled grasps, repeating láta, láta, over and over, keeping the mist from touching the ship, pulling more away from the cloud foot by foot.

There were shadows of ships in the smog on either side of the boat. Euron’s fleet couldn’t hope to move forward as their own vessels fought them. She watched in horror and astonishment as they lurched and toiled desperately on the still sea. And then she saw it, illuminated by a long stretch of moonlight, with mist lifting off its red hull and black sails; the Silence stopped its frantic rocking as the curtain of smoke pulled away. The ship swayed side to side like a drunk, spinning laboriously until finally it settled on the sea once more. They were closer now, nearly to the ship, and the soft light from the curling mist was just enough to see by. Through the long, narrow eye of her spyglass she could see that it was empty. Completely and utterly abandoned. Not even a shadow lingered on the deck.

Beyond Euron’s prized vessel, she watched the cloud forcibly tear in two around the floating fortress that was one of her treasure ships. It existed in a large bubble, sitting quietly beneath the starry sky, unplagued by the spell that had beset her uncle’s fleet.

“Is that his?” Harper demanded from her side. Asha took the spyglass away from her eye and gave a grim nod, but the Fox was not looking at her. Her rage was thinly veiled, and the effort that it took to contain it turned her soft face to stone. She was not panting, not audibly, but her chest heaved subtly. Was it fear? Excitement? Stress from fighting through the spell?

“Aye. That’s it.” Was Asha’s only reply.

The Fox needed nothing else. Her dark, predatory eyes shifted to the sky where the monstrous eagles circled above his masts, the tips of their wings dipping in and out of the mist like the fins on a shark.

“Let. It. Burn!”

The night sky blazed to life as the wings of the eagles burst into flames as gold as the autumn sunset. Speckles of blinding white glittered throughout the metallic flames; the frayed, toiling edges tore to reveal the ebony sky behind them, only to sew themselves together once more a heartbeat later; spears of crimson bled out against the golden field, staining everything it touched in shades of blood-spattered pink and burnt orange as they shot through the fire. The fire did not burn Euron’s ship so much as it consumed it. Like a pack of wild dogs rabidly tears apart and scarfs down its prey, the flames stripped the sails, broke open the masts, splintering them in all directions, and tore the planks apart board by board until there was nothing but embers and ash laying on the black water. She had never witnessed wildfire with her own eyes, but she imagined it looked just as unnatural as this. With a final roar and a sky shaking boom, the Silence died. What little remained sank down to the depths below, and for a time even the water glowed, as the sheer savage fury of the witches kept the flames alive even against the laws of the ocean itself.

The Black Wind glided effortlessly over where her uncle’s ship had been, and she tasted blood in her mouth.

Drawn by the violent display she saw men appear on the deck of the witches' ship only just out of her reach. Euron's men drew bows and took aiming, first at her ship, and then, upon seeing the flaming beasts in the sky, up to the air. Once more the eagles were descending, their beating wings dancing with fire. They were met the hail storm of arrows as they dove and three of them dropped with pained screeches into the sea below. Another spiraled and rolled along the deck of the ship, met with a spear before it could try and get to its feet. But those that remained swooped down on Euron's men. They took grown men in their grasp, setting their talons straight into their chests effortlessly.

Her axe was wetted as soon as her feet hit the deck. Another wave of men emerged onto the lower deck and made their charge. Her arm swung, digging her blade into a short man’s shoulder. He gasped and drew back to strike her, but she slipped out of the way and brought her axe down on the back of his neck as he stumbled. A sharp pain erupted at the base of her spine, and she heard her back pop. She hit the railing of the deck and turned to face her assailant, gasping for the air that had been ripped from her. A sword shot out from his chest and the man choked and spasmed; blood sputtered out of his lips, hot and wet, and splattered along her cheek. The sword withdrew as the man fell, and Qarl smiled sadistically as the blood only smeared on her pale flesh when she went to wipe it away.

“Duck you bumbling fool!” She demanded, her hand not hesitating as she hurled a throwing axe toward Qarl. He was quick enough to step out of the way, but so was the man behind him. Her axe was blown aside by his shield, but the moment’s distraction was enough that Qarl could land a blow to his exposed leg. The man had no sooner hit the deck than her boot crashed against his face with a satisfying crack. Around her the flood of men pouring onto the ship were swiftly driving back Euron’s small force. But she knew he wasn’t fool enough to waste all of his resources here on the lower deck. This was merely a distraction while he readied himself.

“Where are the witches?” She had to holler over the chaos around her. Now Victarion’s ship was docking, and the bloodthirsty shouts of battle hungry men drowned out the sounds of everything else. Asha kicked the man again, accidentally catching him at the base of his throat. He gagged and coughed, slobbering piteously on the sea-soaked wood, and her patience dissolved before he could recover. She wrenched the axe from his shaking hand and hefted it down into the back of his skull.

“Where are my witches?!” She roared above the crowd. Those who had captives still yet breathing momentarily paused in their assault to parrot her question, but it was one of the eagles that answered.

“The wizard and the Crow’s Eye are on the main deck.” The words echoed not in the air, but in her thoughts. “But there are no witches. None alive at least.”

Asha shot a look to Qarl, but as far as she could tell by the wary expressions on the faces of every man on the boat, no one else had heard. She looked to the eagles as they circled in the sky above.

Was this some sort of grand farce? Was Euron baiting her? Now instead of blood it was bile on her tongue. Where was her wife? Why couldn’t one damn person tell her where her fucking wife was? She looked up at the ship’s sails again, thinking perhaps she’d seen wrong; perhaps this wasn’t the Fox Clan’s ship. But in the dim light of the mist and the moon, she could see the silhouette of the fox straining against the wind.

“Ragna and I take will take a force below deck!” The Seal King panted. For the first time he was devoid of his atrocious coat. He pointed with the spear in his hand to the shrouded doorway. “The lower decks are the hardest to breech. Those that could hide would have done it there.”

The Badger was practically unrecognizable under her sheen of shattered glass and blood that seemed to pulse and fog along her once-pale skin. Her black eyes gleamed malevolently as she shot a glance in her direction, and then she followed the Seal.

“Tell your eagles to hold back and stay out of range for now.” She said to the Fox. “We’ll need them to drive Euron’s men back from the entrance to the main deck.”

The witch nodded, and after a flurry of heated words, Asha reluctantly agreed to follow behind on their way to the main deck. This was her fight, she was the one who had everything at stake, and she more than anyone needed to see if her wife was among the corpses littering the ship’s floor, but even she conceded that the greatest risk fell on those who stepped over the threshold first. But she did not want for brave men ready to meet the Drowned God, either.

The halls inside the ship were so dark that if she’d have let go of the wall she’d have wandered off into the shadows and lost herself in a second. Not even the lone torch that one of her men carried could cast light enough to fill more than a small halo around him. Without her sight, she could only feel; she could only hear and smell. And she did her best not to focus on the smell, as that the stench of blood was so thick in the room that it clogged her nose with each breath. The waves were quiet this far below the surface, but the walls creaked and groaned steadily as the ocean pressed in against them. Apart from that, all she could hear were the careful footsteps and choppy breaths of her men, occasionally interrupted by the head of the line stumbling, swearing, and then calling out for the rest of them to step over the body in the way. Each corpse she crossed she stared at twice as long as she needed to, never stopping, but always needing to be absolutely sure that the lifeless face was not that of her wife. It didn’t do her any good in the dark, and as the minutes dragged on her dread and her anger only grew.  

What few men Ragna and the Seal King had not disposed of were quickly felled by her front lines. They lost one by the time they reached the narrow staircase leading to the main deck, and that was she best she could have hoped for.

“He’s waiting for us.” Victarion said over his hulking shoulder. Even he preceded her, much to her annoyance, but he did stand a better chance against the initial assault in all his armor. He took up so much space his shoulders nearly scraped the sides of the hall as he walked, and in his ironclad boots his footsteps were about as subtle as a newly shod yearling on cobblestones. He was exhausting even when he was being helpful. They’d come to an agreement, yes, but she still couldn’t help but wish he wouldn’t make it back to the mainland. It’d save her a lot of headaches in the long run---and they’d never had much love for each other.

“He’s got the advantage. He’ll wait forever if we let him.” She said; her hand came to rest on the hook of her axe.

She felt a soft, slender figure slip past her and threw a questioning look over her shoulder to see Harper squeezing into the space in front of her as best she could.

“We’re going to ram the boat.” She whispered. Bracing herself against the wall in between Asha and her uncle. The proximity to the Fox was making Asha uncomfortable. So close to the battle Asha would have thought she’d seen fear or rage reflected in her eyes or at least a thread of tension in her voice, but her gaze was still cold and calculating, and when she spoke the words were steady. Asha didn’t feel right looking at something so pragmatic and emotionless, especially not when her rage and her worry were at war within her own chest.

Harper briefly glanced over her shoulder, then turned back to the queen once more. “With any luck it’ll knock some of his men off balance. Give the eagles a chance to come down without any arrows flying. The second you see the flames, charge. With any luck we’ll catch the bastards with their breeches ‘round their knees.”

She was unaccustomed to this much---planning in an open water battle, otherwise she might have objected to everyone else doing the planning for her. That was magic, she supposed. Even when there were no options in sight, it gave you some.

No sooner had she braced against the wall then she felt the ship pitch backward with such a force that even those who had prepared themselves could be heard stumbling behind her. Whatever had hit the boat, if it’d been anything at all, surely hadn’t been another ship. It’d come from beneath the vessel. Visions from her dreams flew through her head, flashes of great leviathans and krakens the size of a longship, but she did not have time to dwell on them. Ahead she heard the commotion of Euron’s men shouting in alarm, and then the piercing scream of eagles beneath the roar of a fire as light flooded the top of the staircase.

Asha took three breaths, trying to memorize and anticipate the residual rocking of the ship beneath her feet, and then she charge forward with the rest of them, up into the blinding white light of the deck, her axe clutched firmly in hand.

At first she could see only shadows, blurry and distorted amid the intense flames of the fire. Great, hulking shadows hovering in the air, and the mad, flailing silhouettes of men waving their swords indiscriminately. The fire began to dwindle and fade, unable to catch hold of the deck of the ship. To her left three men leaped onto the back of one of the great beasts, thrusting their swords into its hide and hanging onto them for dear life as the creature flapped and screamed. Ultimately it fell and the light faded even more. One by one the eagles were either forced to flee or were slain, but by the time Euron’s men made a decent recovery, a small force of her own was already charging, with more filing out of the hall at every moment.

“Guard the entrance!” She demanded, looking to Harper, who had somehow managed to split open the throats of three charging men by simply pointing her wand at them, and Victarion who was removing his war axe from the gut of a sputtering corpse. If Euron’s men managed to gain back the entrance to the lower deck, they’d have no reinforcements and be done for in minutes. Neither of them looked at her, but they stayed near the door as the rest of them made their charge.

An axe flew in her direction, and in one deft motion she took it up in her own hand and hefted it back at the man rushing her. It caught him in the eye and sent him spiralling past her onto the blade of one of her men. Qarl. He was still right at her back. Asha spared him only a glance before pushing further into the fray. She plunged her axe into the next man’s throat, and ripped it out only to swing it into the side of another. His sword hand raised and crashed against her chin, hard. She spat blood, the taste of it filling her mouth with copper and her chest with a boiling rage. A cry of fury was strangled from her chest as she swung her axe down on the back of his neck, almost cutting it clean from his shoulders. More blood sprayed, making her grip on her blade hot and wet, and in spite of herself she smiled.

As she jerked it free she straightened herself and wildly searched the deck for the Crow’s Eye. Her eyes frantically dragged across the blood red sea of people. She saw Victarion crash two men’s head together in a way that might have been comical if the skulls hadn’t split and their brains hadn’t bubbled out the side like a bit of spilled stew. Her gaze didn’t linger. She didn’t care. Qarl was splitting open a man’s gut, and still she looked on. A serpent the size of ten men was coiled around Euron’s wizard, forcing its mouth over his shoulders and swallowing him alive. Still she tore her eyes away until she found him, looming above the battle on the upper deck like a coward. He was watching her.

She blindly cut her way through the crowd, unaware if she was killing men or simply taking them to their knees. She couldn’t avoid every swing of their axes or thrusts of their swords, but she barely felt the sting of any blade that split her skin. Every prickle of pain only served to strengthen the bitter taste of fury and bloodlust on her tongue.

And then something felt wrong. Her back felt naked---exposed---and as she ripped her eyes away from her uncle, reality came back to her. Qarl. She couldn’t see him now. He wasn’t at her back, nor her side, nor even fighting on ahead to bait her. Every face she looked on was wrong. Each pair of eyes belonged to someone she cared nothing for.

Her wild eyes landed two figures, one slumped over the other, but shaking with thunderous laughter. Like that same laughter from her dream. Mad and wild, trembling in the air and drowning out all other sound. Like a red hot sword plunged into ice water, she felt her fury immediately harden and turn to piercing fear. She slammed the blade of her axe down between the figure’s shoulders, watching the flesh split and his body jerk. Still he laughed and laughed, and the cold terror felt like mania inside her now. She struck again and again, screaming raggedly to overwhelm the sound of his laughter. Even once he was dead and silent, she hit him three more times before ripping his body away.

Qarl.

She might have wretched. She might have fainted. What miraculous force kept her from doing either she didn’t know, but she could not stop herself from falling to her knees.

He stared back at her with wide, glassy eyes. Neither alive nor dead, caught in the agonizing limbo between the two. His hands were clutching his side uselessly. From the gaping wound she could see his entrails snaking out onto the deck of the ship. He began to cough, blood bubbling up from his lips, and she caught his head in her hands as her axe clattered to the deck.

“Qarl!” Her voice was far from gentle, far from loving, and she couldn’t force any softness upon it. Even in her grief there were only sharp edges and hard demands to offer this man that she loved… but he looked at her. By some merciful twist of fate, her words brought him back to her. Those dark eyes met hers. His mouth gaped open and then closed, and she could not tell if he meant to speak or if he was only desperate for breath. She kept his gaze, feeling tears welling in her own eyes, feeling a thousand apologies and confessions gather on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t speak. She couldn’t afford to cry for him now. A trembling hand pressed against the nape of her neck, and he weakly pulled her forward. She met his lips in a desperate kiss, as if she might give him some of her own life, and she held him to her until the hand in her hair went limp and fell away. Against her lips she felt him smile, and she pulled away long enough to watch the last glint of life fade from his eyes.

Dead. He was dead. She had loved no one else. She had trusted no one else. Not as a woman, at least. She had loved her mother as a ghost, she had loved her lord father as wish, and she had loved her brothers as corpses, but Qarl she had loved as the man he was. He had been real and tangible… and Euron had taken him from her.

[simkjrs]

msa ch5 asks (and others)

Anonymous said: AAA FROM 'MEET ME IN THE WOODS'- i know that lyrics!!!!! nice!!

*finger guns* nice!!

Anonymous said: -also thank you for existing you beautiful beautiful person! 😘

i think i might have accidentally deleted (or answered separately?) the first half of this ask but nonetheless thank you

Anonymous said: OK first thing: the chapter was awesome! amazing job! Second thing: the entire chapter was basically deku 'mildly' freaking out while being thoroughly pissed the entire time

it really and truly was. izuku as that one macro that’s like “this string is held up through pure stress alone” 

Anonymous said: mr compress weeb confirmed

look at his custom made villain costume and tell me he isnt that kind of guy

Anonymous said: god. Msa!izuku is /fifteen fucking years old/ and he has to deal with /so much shit/. Can someone just put him to bed and let him nap for a year, maybe

yes! maybe not a year though.

Anonymous said: God bless the new chapter gutted me and the flipped me inside out showing my true form, that of a big fan. Thank you for the blessing that is MSA

this is such a gruesomely funny image. thank you

Anonymous said: hey just read msa for the around the 9th time. you ar e so good at writing, the way you write character interaction is incredible. you should be proud. this is literally the best thing ive ever read.

THATS SO MANY TIMES, IM ASTONISHED YOURE NOT SICK OF IT YET!!! i hate staring at my writing too long it starts feeling all faded out and boring!! im really happy to hear you like it so much!

Anonymous said: As soon as Izu/ku woke up on the table I started screeching simk. Not okay!!!

haha im so sorry!!!! but overhaul literally wouldve experimented on ai/zawa and he DID experiment on eri this is completely in character of him

Anonymous said: Overhaul/Skin Beast: hi yeah can I get a fucking uuuuuhhhhhhhh experiments/faces? Izuku: Experiment machine 🅱roke *flies away with eri*

completely accurate summary of the chapter

Anonymous said: every day I long to become the amount of salty msa izuku is

valid but every day i long for msa izuku to receive the love and support that he needs

Anonymous said: sweetie noooooooo

i have no idea what part of the chapter this is referring to but first of all, big mood, and second of all, valid 

Anonymous said: hello you hurting because so am i!

i am hurting. while i was writing the chapter i kept looking at the screen like “i’m doing this? i’m really going to do this?” but overhaul is like that and i cant deny him the one salient characterization point he has

Anonymous said: UNICORN DAUGHTER HAS BEEN RESCUED THANK ITS GREAT

[my longest yeehaw ever]

Anonymous said: Since I might not get any sleep tonight because of flight plans and I might forget tomorrow and the next day, Happy thanksgiving! I'm thankful for your awesome stories~

Anonymous said: Happy Thanksgiving! I remembered!

happy thanksgiving!! im thankful that you enjoy my stories <3

Anonymous said: good job! i love it. and i’m crying. where did all this blood come from?

We Are All crying blood at this chapter

Anonymous said: Just read the new chapter and all I want to do is keysmash into your inbox. The chapter! Was so good! Izuku being sassy and angry and traumatized but still trying! And Eri! I'm so glad she's with Izuku now. Deku-niisan! I don't have words! And Rappa? Rappa! Also, that poem you linked is really neat. Grow up grow strong and focus your fury. Kind of feel like this is the theme for these two trauma children. Great work!

someone in the comments described izuku as “thoughtlessly kind” and i was VERY emotional over that because it’s such an excellent descriptor of the kind of person izuku is... he’s still trying, because that’s just who he is 

deku-niisan to the rescue :^) 

i’m really glad you enjoyed the chapter! thank you!

@zintiay submitted: Normally I get really annoyed when a character refuses to use an ability that would let them fairly easily deal with those around them. In this case though, you have done a really good job displaying why he doesn’t want to use this option, as well as what it takes for him to be willing to use it, that I mostly feel sad for deku that he was forced to let Eri’s spirit possess him, instead of getting caught up in the hype of an awesome moment

Honestly though, that’s also my reaction to the chapter as a whole. It was full of interesting world building and was generally an awesome chapter, but it was also well written enough that I also feel Izuku’s emotions and mostly just feel melancholy now.(Seriously, when I look back on it, “I invite you in” opened the gateway to an awesome and well deserved ass kicking, but it’s mostly just heart breaking. Why can’t I just enjoy Izuku kicking ass? Why?)

ahaha yeah, i try to have good reasons for why characters do or don’t take certain actions, and this whole fusion thing is something he keeps REALLY close to his chest... i’m glad that carried across well! it is very sad though that he feels cornered into using this ability. 

thanks for reading!

Anonymous said: Just wanted to say thank you. I think this sounds weird, but you finishing up chapter 5 of msa actually helped motivate me and I managed to finish my essay for a class.

OH? i’m glad to hear that! congrats on finishing the essay!

Anonymous said: This chapter was so fucking perfect I'm crying diamonds. What in all heavens and hells are you, you godly creature? I am so bloody happy you exist in this world. In this time line. I love your stories so damn much!

thank you so much!! i’m really happy to hear this <3 

Anonymous said: I love how just Done with everything msa Izu/ku is with everything. The fact that the only person he treats like a Person and not another threat to his Cryptid Status is Er/i and he just brings her home. I just. I LOV UR WRITING OK

it’s because eri pings None of his danger senses and All of his “i have to do something about this” senses. izuku is constitutionally incapable of helping someone in need. 

and thank you!! i’m glad you like it!

Anonymous said: I hope you know that i was able to read about half a page before i fucking died laughing i lov msa de/ku so much

i try to serve my darkfic with a large side of comedy

Anonymous said: I have the vivid image of msa Deku running into Aizawa by accident and just slowly walking backwards before turning to the sky and yelling "I HAVE DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY! I! DO NOT! HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT AS WELL!!!" while Aizawa slowly comes to the conclusion that he must adopt and save this troubled child.

this is hilariously close to some future scenarios i have in mind

Anonymous said: seeing a new chapter of msa honestly made my heart skip a beat in excitement. i have SO MANY questions and thoughts about this universe, i think i could ask you questions for hours, it sparks my imagination and curiosity in the best way. but for now, i just wanted to sincerely thank you for choosing to share your story and thoughts and ideas with all of us! it's always a delight, and i don't take it for granted at all. thank you, and i'm wishing you all the best always!!

thank you so much for this message!! it always makes me happy to know that others are enjoying this story as much as i am <3 i hope the best for you as well!

Anonymous said: What I expected in MSA ch.5: PAINPAINPAINPAINPAIN What I got: PAINPAINPAIN also Izuku adopts Eri, and Rappa for some reason (or did he adopt them!?!? DUNDUNDUN)

i cant publish a chapter without doing something a little fun, right? 

also im laughing at the idea of izuku adopting rappa, a fully grown man, as opposed to the other way around. izuku would hate this concept if anyone ever said it to him.

Anonymous said: so is msa iz/uku's tragic backstory basically being a walking disaster for all of his life until the point where he would have, in canon, met all might, and the msa version of the all might/one for all is the Temple and the subsequent ShitStorm™?

nope! the temple is something else 

Anonymous said: 💖💖💖💖💖💓💖💓💓💕💕💓💕💕💕💝💝💞💝💟💟💟💟💟💟💞💝💝💝💝💝💟💟💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘❤❤❤❤💙💚💚💚💛💙💚💜💚💛💚💜💙💜💚💟💞💗💞💟💟💜💚💛💚💘❤💘❤❤❤💞💟💝❤

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Anonymous said: i was stuck in a car for 3+ hours tonight but when i saw msa ch5 was up i was so excited, i spent the whole ride reading and re-reading it, it’s fantastic and you are too! <3

wow thats some dedication!! i hate reading in the car. thank you and im glad you liked it!!

Anonymous said: simk pls tell me we get roommate shananigans it would make my entire life. just a tired teen, a middle age man literally off the street, and their prepubescent daughter/little sister/niece/etc.

oh yes absolutely. this is a vital part of the au. don’t forget the cat

Anonymous said: hi hello i just want to say that your writing is amazing and gives me life and i get really really really excited every time you update. thanks for blessing us with such good fic <3

thank you so much!! i’m super glad to hear <3

Anonymous said: so izuku not only has eri but also the guy most likely to have been in kumite from bloodsport at his place. great job kiddo. (i mean that both genuinely and sarcastically)

izuku’s existence just naturally warps the reality he lives in into a circus show

Anonymous said: thanks to that one ask i can't stop laughing at the scenario of msa izu trying to get groceries and is seen by kiri / aizawa / tbh any hero. rappa and eri is with him and izu just stares at the heroes dead in the eye and leaves the place. he swears to never return there ever again

also hilariously close to some scenarios im contemplating

Anonymous said: DID MSA!DEKU EVER CATCH A BREAK ONCE IN HIS LIFE??? DID THAT EVER HAPPEN, SIMK. OVERHAUL IS UP THERE W ENDEAVOR I CANT BELIEVE U MANAGED TO MAKE ME HATE HIM THIS MUCH SNAKDNANFKW (btw? how much of a fucking RIOT would it be if the heroes did the exact same thing in canon, and when it came to the actual retrieving eri part theyd just find someone waving frantically "SHES ALREADY GONE, YOU IMBECILES. YOU FOOLS"

overhaul is easily hatable if you just extrapolate from his canon actions. cant wait for him to get fucking clowned

i think it would be really funny but kind of depressing if the heroes did that. izuku please help them

Anonymous said: u really dont fuck around, do u, simk?? this is really a chapter that i just read i really saw him getting experimented on by overhaul for real??? I REALLY SAW HIM DISMISS IT AS IF IT WAS ANY OTHER DENIAL WEDNESDAY???? DID THAT BOY EVER CATCH ONE (1) BREAK IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE?? also DAMN! HE Really Fucking Did That HUH HE BUSTED HER OUT OMG.. CANT WAIT FOR THE SIBLING RELATIONSHIP FEELINGS THING :') (also how much of a fucking RIOT wld it be if the heroes busted eri out but (1/2)

but when they ARE actually at the 8ps hq they just?? dont find her??????and everyone there is like "SHES ALREADY GONE YOU IMBECILES. YOU FOOLS." (2/2)

i really dont fuck around!! i hope!! i decide on a track and i stick to it!! as soon as i finished the first scene i knew that overhaul was going to Do That and i spent a few days agonizing over it and asking myself if i was really ready to go all the way with this. if i was really going to write it! i did write it. i am still occasionally in disbelief. 

yes. sibling relationship all the fuckin way 

Anonymous said: Is what happened at the temple the thing that made MSA Izuku give up on being a hero?

nah izuku giving up on being a hero is more just pessimism, cynicism, and paranoia trained into him by years and years of dealing with spirits and believing that he shouldn’t exist 

Anonymous said: this is all really silly but uhh,,, isn't izuku loosing credits? has his mother been informed of his absences? does he have anyone who can help him catch up with the missed material? is our boy going to graduate?

i dont really know how credits work in japanese schools, or how the absences thing works... he’ll be fine though, pinky promise

Anonymous said: Eri pulls back and looks up at them curiously. “Deku?” They peer down at her. She’s so small! She’s so near! “You look different. You…” She reaches up, and they bend down obligingly. Her hand touches something attached to the skull above the eyes -- my horn, the kirin whispers. “You have a horn like me,” she says, full of wonder, and touches it again. THIS ENTIRE FUCKING PART GOT MY HEART BEATING SO FAST. I LOVE THEM!!!! ILOVE HOW ERIS SPIRIT IS NOT A TOTAL ASSHOLE TOO!!!

trauma kid solidarity!!!! i am so excited for these two you have no idea

i, too, love it when a spirit shows a basic modicum of decency and is NOT Like That to izuku 

Anonymous said: "neptune" by sleeping at last gives me very kiri/msa!deku vibes

cool, i’ll check it out!

Anonymous said: Angry msa!izu/ku: acts like an alley cat, threatens to break a villain's dishes, talks a lot of bullshit, also kind of sad and depressed. Angry™ msa!izu/ku: frightens the hell out of everyone just by looking at them, makes everyone question their life choices, makes them feel small and insignificant and makes fun of said life choices, not exactly human.

yeah. i love msa izuku and  his anger is Valid 

Anonymous said: This chapter: Rappa: fight me MsaIzuku: no Rappa: fight me pls MsaIzuku: no Rappa: let me fight the people around you? MsaIzuku:....... Fine

this is a really great summary of that conversation

Anonymous said: Izuku's threat to throw all of M. Compress' dishes on the floor like that is the Worst thing you can do to someone made my entire day thank you

i’m really glad because this was the funniest threat i could think of besides “i’m going to break into your home and piss on your bed” 

Anonymous said: HE'S JUST A KID SIM

you know i had to do it to ‘em picture 

Anonymous said: Msa is just so so amazing!?!? I honestly love it so much. The way you write is so wonderful and it's practically doubled by the fact that the entire idea for the au is also wonderful. Izu is amazing and I love him. Thank you thank you thank you :')

aahhh im really happy you like it!! thank you for reading & supporting!!

Anonymous said: Rappa: "let me join you" ; msa!Izuku: "absolutely fucking not" ; Rappa: "I can be ur meat shield" ; msa!Izuku: *clenching and unclenching his fist, glaring up at the god he does not believe in as he leads Rappa and Eri to his home* "I fucking hate you"

izuku’s one weakness... trying to help others

Anonymous said: iirc, guardian spirits are bound to their respective charges by proximity but can still move around, but do they have to be close by when the quirk is used? Or will the quirk not be as effective?

nah, they don’t need to be nearby, one cool effect of being bound to a human is that the human has a store of the guardian spirit’s energy 

Anonymous said: Thoughts on the game OFF? Played it recently and it gave me Msa!spirit world vibes. The use of man made substances making up the natural world (e.g drinking plastic not water) just really stuck with me as something bizarre and very second intonation like. Although if you do explore the spirit world I guess you might have something maybe more mythological in mind? (Also the soundtrack is stunningly eerie).

never played OFF but i love its aesthetic so much 

Anonymous said: I'm gonna print msa out and it eat it. gochisousama

pfft itadakimasu 

Anonymous said: Hahahah holy shit that new chapter dialed things up to, like, 22 instead of 11 holy shit izuku oh no. (“Achievement Unlocked: 5+ Levels Of Trauma Added At Once!” msa!izuku: can I get a, uuuuhhhhhhh, refund?) skin creature is super creepy and perfect fit. Btw, side thought - however the heroes find out abt this whole mess, I bet they feel really guilty (shit, izuku puts foot in mouth and accidentally says smth. Kiri: horrified izuku: makes it worse by trying to leave topic) thx I Love it. V good!

once i committed i had to go all the way...

the ensuing conversations between izuku and the heroes are probably going to be kind of funny, and also a little sad. im looking forward to it. thank you for reading!

Anonymous said: Okay, I'm just catching up on the recent chapters of msa and this is what I've been getting so far Everyone: you have to understand- Msa izuku, restrained: no

correct. msa izuku refuses to accept your terms 

Anonymous said: Ahaha, geez, MSA chapter 5 was A M A Z I N G. Poor Izuku. Geez, the scene where he's tossed into his cell and just spends fifteen minutes crying and freaking out hurt so bad. And he remembered to (try and) call for help!!! Hopefully he tries again in the future, when it'll work (hopefully). I also got very excited by the Kirin!!! Like, holy smokes!!! Someone who actually doesn't want Izuku to suffer, and is willing to take steps to make that happen!! Yes good!! Plz timewalker protect this child

thanks carwash for being like the only friend izuku has

the relationship between izuku and the different spirits hanging around his house is probably going to be pretty fun. i know i’ve pulled a lot of bullshit in the past two chapters but i still have some new fuckery to introduce. i hope you are all excited for this

Anonymous said: would any other human be able to learn to speak in the second intonation in the msa au? Did msa deku learn the second intonation from someone, or is it just something he's always known?

1) good question! i haven’t decided yet. 2) he learned from someone else! who you will find out soon

Anonymous said: me: nobody has to get owned today. please, please put down the markers and step back msa izuku: Fuck oyu.

i totlaly forgot this was a thing but you know what? yeah. im laughing this is such a fitting quote

Anonymous said: you know by far one of the best aspects of msa izuku is just. He is a constant Power Move. and yet he would probs hate that. like this boy wants to be left alone and get some fuckin peace but in all his interactions whether he intends to or not he just fuckin busts a fuckin Move and its like holy shit holy fucking shit he did that.he did That. He doesnt want to do That he doesnt even realize its happening and thats why its a fuckin Power Move. Love this au i LOVE ur work and love ur storytelling

reminds me of @salvainterra‘s description of izuku: “izuku is both an unstoppable force and an immovable object and its through this paradoxical existence that hes reached the ultimate tier of not giving a fuck. good on him”

thats the secret behind it all!

Anonymous said: I love msa chapter five but I'm so worried about Izuku. He's a single teen parent of two now and he keeps missing school, how will he graduate and get in a position to follow his dreams of being alone and doing calligraphy if he misses so much of school that he doesn't get a diploma???

he will be ok! 

hey im really laughing at this because youre really including rappa as one of the people izuku adopted?? is this a thing now?? 

Anonymous said: (in msa) I am so glad you had Izuku save Eri omg. that poor child has been through enough (but also, omg the suffering you're putting Izuku through (it's great, keep going)). I'm super keen to see where you take this!!

i know im really putting izuku through the paces. while i was writing the first half of ch5 i kept telling myself that this was all for eri’s sake but MAN that was dark

thank you! im excited to pull some more bullshit. im glad you’ve been enjoying the story so far!

Anonymous said: Me reading the new msa chapter: ‘a family can be a Kirin, a girl who can disintegrate people, a supernatural teenager, a street brawler and perpetual sadness’ seriously tho it was really great and I loved it!!!

MFLNDLFKSDJF AND PERPETUAL SADNESS IM LOSING IT!!!

don’t forget the mysterious shadow spirit who may or may not be a cat 

i’m really glad you liked the chapter!!

Anonymous said: bc of allmights style i think of one for all's spirit just being a fucking american on the fourth of july with american flags everywhere and waving a minature flag threateningly and i cant stop thinking about it....

fortunately for us, that is incorrect 

Anonymous said: "Okay I've finally caught up on the backlog of work I've got, let's check in on my favourite blog and writer SIMKJRS and see what they're up to recently." *sees that you updated like a week ago* aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

jflskdfj glad you’re excited for this!! i know i only update like once in a blue moon, 

Anonymous said: hey i just want to say that i love everything about msa; the writing, the story, the imagery, ALL OF IT thank you for making such a wonderful gift!

thank you!! im grateful for your support <3

[franeridart]

Anon said: Um so hello, I’m just here to say keep up the awesome work, I love your kiribaku art and it’s adorable and I go on binges through your blog (omg I sound so creepy I’m sorry I just love ur art so much) and it makes my day so yeah please keep drawing!

Ahhhhh you don’t sound creepy at all, don’t worry!!!!! Thank you so much for liking my stuff that much!!!!!!! <3<3

Anon said: May ask what kiri///mina would look like in your style? You don't have to draw it if you don't like the ship.

Gosh sorry but I really really don’t ship it!

Anon said: you know how I miss?? your OCs!!! they're the cutest!!

AWE thank you so much!!!!!!! I have a few comics planned for them, hope I’ll manage getting to them soon enough!!! (oT^T)9<3

Anon said: This is so sappy but some of your kiribaku posts really make me really appreciate long relationships! I’ve always found pining and crushes the cutest bc it’s full of intense feelings, but you portray being in love and accepting each other so well!! it’s amazing how you show characters interacting with each other and being so comfortable instead of worrying about hiding part of themselves and long story short I love your art and ideas so much

This ask!!!!!!!!! means the universe!!!!!!!!!! to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so glad I can manage portraying love in such a way, I’m so in love with the idea of open, accepting love, andI try seriously hard to make it look healthy in my comics so!!!!!!! thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have no clue how many times I’ve reread this ask I’m not even exaggerating TT^TT <3

Anon said: I just want to start off by saying you’re my favourite blog on tumblr, your art is incredibly adorable and always makes my day!! I was just wondering how you were able to create your own unique art style? It’s something I’ve been struggling with a lot lately with my own art. Any advice is appreciated, thanks for everything you do!!

I think it’s about finding the right spot between what feels comfortable for you and the end you’re using your art for? In my case what’s comfortable is something fun and smooth, and the main end has always been to be able to draw comics - I’ve always liked comics because I like writing and I like drawing, but my attention span was too short to manage finishing them, and the way I had of drawing was too stiff to properly convey emotions the way I wanted to, which made drawing comics sound like an impossible dream haha I fixed it by simplifying my style, by taking away or reducing to the bare minimum everything that took me ages to work out/draw and pushing my expressions and body language to extremes to make up for the lack of details. 

That’s just my experience with it, though! The best advice I can give you is to sit back and look at your current way of drawing from an objective perspective - do you enjoy it? Is the process of drawing something you’re comfortable with? What’s uncomfortable in it for you, and in which ways could you change it to make it comfortable and fun? Does your current art style allow you to do what you want to do with your art? If you want to paint, does it allow you to paint in an easy and fun way? If you want to make comics, does it allow you the range to properly portray a character moving and living without making you wish you’d never started drawing halfway through it? 

Imho the first step to find a style that’s your own and feels right is to find a style that’s fun to use and doesn’t stress you to hell and back every time you pick up your pencil. This is easier to do the more things you attempt, so for a bit being inconsistent in style is a good and normal thing - try things out! The best one for you will definitely stick in the end. And if you already feel comfortable with the way you have of drawing, then hell! You already have a style that works for you! Just because to you it doesn’t look unique and special it doesn’t mean that it isn’t - if you asked me to point out what makes my style unique I wouldn’t be able to tell you either, the way I see it my style is the most uninteresting and common-looking style out there. To be honest with you that’s probably just how it is for every artist out there hahaha

Anon said: Hi!! I love your art and just want you to know I always get a big, stupid smile on my face whenever I see you cross my feed, whether it’s something new or a reblog of an old post. Everything you do is just amazing and I love it

AHHHHHHH Thank you so so much!!!!!!!!! (TT^TT)<3<3<3

Anon said: Hey Fran! First off, thank you for the Fire Force art. I remembered to actually check it out, after seeing it lol. Second, I still can't find your Fatgum 😭😭 the link didn't give any, and searching on your page didn't help either. I WILL FIND IT ONE DAY

I think it’s a problem of the app orz I can see him just find from desktop but the app can’t find him either T-T stupid app!

Anon said: Do you have a mini Bakugou and Kirishima living in your head? Are they just living their lives up in your brain and that causes your hand to to write and draw the most perfect and accurate things? Of course mini Kaminari, Sero, Mina, Jirou, etc. also come to visit your head hole from time to time and just chill with mini Baku and Kiri. That’s the only logical explanation on how all your Bakushima content is so inconceivably spot on

That’s such a kind thing of you to say, anon!!!!!! I’m glad you find them that IC!!!!!! I try my best, but sometimes I admit I just have them do and say stuff I’ve done and said myself, the only difference is that I word things in a way that feels right for their usual way of talking hahaha

Anon said: I personally would love to read your essay on why bakugo is the best character ever because I really really really want to love him that much but i feel like there's something that I'm just not getting about him- there's something I'm missing about his personality (keeping in mind that i kinda left the manga after the whole mirio/8 precepts arc). I've always found bakugo compelling and would love love love to read your take on him! Hope you have a great day!

Bakugou has had some amazing character development scenes after the overhaul arc!!!!! He’s outright shown he understands where he was lacking and where he was wrong, that he’s perfectly capable of working in a team and letting people help him and helping them in return, that he cares about his class and how the rest of the world sees them! (and that he worries/cares about how the world sees him too, actually, that broke my heart a bit ;; ) We haven’t seen him in a hot minute by now, but most of anything before the current arc has had him improve and develop and become even better than he already was -  I’ve always thought him a good guy with just a lot of troubles relating to the world around him due the way he has been brought up as special and different (it creates a drift between yourself and the rest of the world when everyone around you keeps treating you as if you were other - when you tell a kid he’s different and better for his whole life he’s bound to grow up believing it, after all), but if the problem you have with him is that he isn’t showing the good in himself plainly and obviously enough, then the arcs after the overhaul one are gonna help you like him better, definitely

Well, the thing about Bakugou is that he’s not a plain/obvious character, so you need to think about his actions and his words a bit more, and can’t just take him at face value - it’s what I like about him, actually! How much you need to think about him to figure him out on a deeper level than just the surface one. Since I dunno why you like him and why you feel something’s missing, I can’t tell you specifically what it is in the way I see him that completes him for me, but as I said I try to keep him as IC as I can so probably reading my comics about him might help you understand the way I see him. To me Bakugou’s honest, and kind, and loving, but he’s also arrogant, and angry, and used to taking some things for granted, and I like how all those things work with and against each other in his character. He’s at the same time incredibly proud and absurdly insecure, and I like that about him too - where each comes from and where and how they clash, I like the complexity it gives him. I like that he’s a people person in the sense that he likes having people around himself, and I like that at the same time UA is the first time he’s had actual, honest to god best friends, and how that means that he’s gonna be awkward when usually he’s so sure and proud simply because he isn’t used to having people he actually specifically cares for, I very much like that about him. I like that he overthinks everything he doesn’t immediately gets, I like that he still acts on instincts more often than not, I like that somehow with him those two aren’t mutually exclusive. I like that he’s smart and still so damn dumb, I like that he’s just as simple-minded as he is an actually labyrinth in thought process, I like how one-track minded he is even on the most silly things - how once he sets his eyes on a goal he goes for it like his life depends on it. I like that he’s barsh and rude and impulsive in what he says and does, but when he fucks up he knows he fucked up, and he backstracks, and he does his best to make amends. I like that he sits in stupid ways and has the worst posture in the class and then he wears his hero costume and suddenly he’s a model on the catwalk, that’s so damn endearing to me. I like how ridiculously hyperbolic he is and how he just assumes people will get it, get what he actually means, like there’s a point between his brain and his mouth were things get blown out of proportion and he doesn’t even realize it. There’s just so many things to love about him, for me!! 

But most importantly I like that he started as low as he could get and that because of it his plot is a one way towards the summit. I like it. I like watching a character grow and every new chapter become a better version of themselves, I love it. Ultimately that’s probably why he’s my favorite, after all haha

Anon said: Hi, this isn’t a question but I just wanted to say how much I love your art and the way you clearly appreciate Bakugou as a character. So many of my friends hate him, but I think he has a lot of depth and so much potential. Your art always makes me smile! Thanks for doing what you do. :)

THANK YOU and thank you for liking the boy too!!!!!!! He deserves it, he absolutely does deserve it!!!!!!! <3<3<3

Anon said: I just went digging in the archives of my blog (which is.. a mess) and found some old art of yours (like... I'm talking bokuto and kuroo level old) and g o s h. I already loved your art so much then and I still do n hhhhhhhh u go. U great.

Gosh you’ve been around a long time then!!!!! Thank you so much for sticking with me all this time!!!! ✨o(TT0TT)o✨

[dalishpariah]

tips for new uni / college students

i’m just finishing up my first year this summer and i know lots of people are graduating and going into post secondary this semester, so here are my tips on your first year! (im in canada but these should probably be relevant for other countries? i think!) feel free to add your own! (spaces are for accessibility – sorry for the long ass post) 

you don’t need to ask to go to the bathroom, or to leave at all. if you’re anxious, or if you need a coffee, just quietly leave without disturbing the other students and come back when you’re ready. try not to leave in an important part of the lecture—you should preferably be doing everything you need to before/after class to avoid leaving and missing information, but this isn’t high school anymore and you can come and go as you wish. (note: if youre working in a lab make sure you follow your prof’s safety procedures around leaving to avoid bringing contaminants out of the lab with you, and do NOT leave in the middle of a test unless given explicit permission by the prof.)

i bought a binder for my first year and never used it. i took all my notes in a coil notebook, which is easier to keep track of, and put all handouts in the inside pocket/in a folder which was more than sufficient, since at my school most of the handouts are online anyways. if you’re more comfortable using a binder, definitely use one, but you’re probably better off using a notebook. 

you can bring your laptop/tablet to class to write your notes in 99% of classes. if you find typing easier than writing on paper with pen/pencil, then bring it with you - just make sure you have your charger/your laptop is charged, especially if it’s a long class. but try not to get distracted — you’re probably better off sticking to a notebook if you know you’re going to open facebook/tumblr instead of actually taking notes.

most professors i’ve taken still don’t appreciate texting in class. some of them don’t care, some will call you out on it. they understand if you have to quickly reply to your mom or something (or take a phone call outside of class) but if every time they look up you’re blatantly staring at your phone (or your crotch lol we all know the trying to hide ur phone under ur desk phone) they’ll probably be less inclined to help you later when you ask questions because you were too busy not paying attention 

write your name, phone number and school e-mail in the front of your notebook / on a label on your laptop. losing an entire semester’s worth of notes would be a NIGHTMARE and you want to make it as easy as possible for anyone who finds your stuff to return it to you. 

before you buy your textbook from your bookstore, check facebook to see if your school has a book exchange page and try to find someone you can buy it from second hand. it will be cheaper. 

if you can, buy your books used from the bookstore. renting is cheaper than buying — the buy back price at the end of the semester will be drastically reduced from what your purchased it at.

get familiar with the services at your school. check out the pride center and women’s center if you have one, join a club, and find a community. you’ll have a lot more fun at university if you find your niche and people who share your interests. they don’t have to be your lifetime best friends, but it’s nice to have a place to go and chat with an acquaintance during long breaks between classes.

use google docs or a similar cloud-based service. not having to haul your essays around on a USB is so much more convenient, and with your work stored in the cloud you won’t have any risk of it not saving or being corrupted. 

plagiarism is such a big no. your profs will remind you, but if you think you can get away with it, you CANNOT. plagiarism gives you what is essentially an academic criminal record and NO ONE in your faculty wants to deal with it, so just do your work okay?? trust me the consequences are way worse than just sitting down and writing the paper, no matter how awful it is

on the first day, if you HATE a class or the prof, drop it. add/drop deadlines are serious business 

if you have a few different choices for which prof to pick, check ratemyprofessor before choosing (but remember to take things with a grain of salt – they are reviews written by real people)

post-secondary is an amazing opportunity and as much as student loans and the emotional stress are hard, it can also be an incredible and fascinating experience. don’t worry too much about “finding your purpose” and take advantage of the wealth of knowledge your professors and teachers will present to you. good luck to all of you and i hope you have a wonderful time!! 

[rambunctiousreader]

Topics I just need to touch on from Lord of Shadows (MAJOR SPOILER ALERT)

Emma and Julian

- I’m really glad their friendship went back to normal after some time. The distance between them was unlike them at all and I hated it. I know it was necessary because they both had to process how things had changed between them, but that doesn’t mean I liked reading it.

- Okay so I think the curse is seriously coming into play here. Cassie never outwardly says that the curse is already occurring, but she drops multiple hints throughout the book. For one, all of a sudden, Emma and Julian can communicate telepathically. I don’t know but I’m pretty sure that’s not supposed to happen. Also, um, they caught a STONE building on fire?! Stone? All-powerful runes? Ring a bell?????

- During the church scene and many, many other scenes, there’s so much sexual tension between Emma and Julian. Literally. I think there’s more in LOS than LM because at this point they’ve had sex and seen that intimate side of each other. At this point, they both have privately acknowledged that they are in love with the other. I think that plays a huge role in their relationship and how it has evolved since Lady Midnight.

- That huge fight that they had when they were staying at Malcolm’s cottage literally broke me. I was on the verge of crying while reading that. I’m just glad that it didn’t take long for them to make up.

- Their conversation about the Shadowhunter family mottos BAHAHAHAHA

- This is their second sex scene and honestly I loved it so much. It was so perfect. I almost burst into tears crying when Emma admitted to Julian that she’d been lying about her relationship with Mark.

- Emma still hasn’t told Julian that she loves him and I keep wondering if this is an important detail that will be used in QoAaD. Am I the only one who noticed this?

Diana Wrayburn

- It’s not like I hated Diana in Lady Midnight, I just didn’t know her very well and didn’t see the depth of her character. Once I read her backstory, I grew to love her. She is such a strong person and honestly I just want to be her best friend.

- Diana and Gwyn? Um, can you say hella cute couple?

- Once Cassie told us that there would be a transgender character reveal in Lord of Shadows, I knew from the start that it would be Diana. In Lady Midnight, it talks about how she has lots of secrets and a dark past. We knew that she’d been through a lot, so it wasn’t a huge surprise for me, but still a monumental moment in the book nonetheless. 

- Summed up into four words, I can say “I love Diana Wrayburn!”

Kit Herondale

- From the moment we found out in Lady Midnight that Kit is the Lost Herondale, I knew that he would be an interesting character to read about. I was not disappointed.

- It’s truly heartwarming to watch Kit grow from a person who is denying himself as a Shadowhunter and the culture of the Shadowhunters to fully embracing it and finding a home with the Blackthorns. That scene where they’re fighting the Seven Riders and Ethna (or whatever her name is) is about to kill him and he’s all like “I’m Christopher Herondale.” I just loved that and I almost cried. 

- At this point, I still don’t really know where his relationship with Ty will lead. I know for sure it will be either a romantic relationship or a parabatai relationship, and I’m perfectly fine with whichever. For me, it’s hard to tell right now. Cassie has a habit of pulling large plot twists on us, and I don’t know what to think. All I do know is that I like Kit and Ty as friend or lovers. I think they compliment each other very well and are so cute. (The Sherlock and Watson comparisons?! Cute af!)

Julian Blackthorn

- I’m honestly so scared for Julian and I have two main theories for him. Neither of them are happy. He’s either going to literally go off the deep end and go full evil and be really bad or he’s not going to survive to the end of the series. Like I said, I don’t really like either option.

- Julian’s hidden ruthlessness is touched upon several times in LOS like in LM. This is NOT coincidental and Cassie is foreshadowing. His ruthless nature and his undying will to protect those he loves will play a major role in the plot of QoAaD, I’m sure.

- I don’t even want to think about how Livvy’s death will affect his family, but especially Julian. He’d devoted his life, time, and heart to protecting his family and doing whatever it takes to keep them alive and safe. He’s failed to do that. Because of Livvy’s death, he will blame himself and I feel like it will really push him over the edge. 

- There is this undeniable dark Julian that we all know exists. Few of us actually acknowledge that this is a part of Julian because we don’t want to imagine our baby Julian like that. Our baby Julian, who has been in love with Emma for god knows how long. Our baby Julian who ran an Institute when he was twelve, killed his own father, who became parabatai with Emma even when he knew he was in love with her because he didn’t want to lose her. Jules, Julian, who paints her in secret, who hides his feelings for her. He is an incredibly selfless person and I feel like that it could seriously be his downfall and weakness ironically.

- Basically, I think that tough times are in the forecast for Julian Blackthorn. :(

Five Main Character Deaths

- Jon Cartwright: I was really surprised about his death and didn’t see it coming. I was just a lil sad but overall it wasn’t that bad. I will miss him though. I hope Marisol will be okay.

- Arthur Blackthorn: I was also very surprised about this death. In Lady Midnight, Arthur is written as this insane, depressed, and sad individual. We don’t like him because he was supposed to run the Institute, not Julian. In the last few pages of his life, he was completely lucid and actively gave up his life to save the younger Blackthorns. I was very taken aback and thought it was very honorable. It instantly redeemed his character for me. I was sad to see him go.

- Malcolm Fade: I never really believed he was dead tbh. I actually laughed when he truly died. Literally, this dude spends 200+ years dedicating his life to bringing a girl back from the dead, and when he does she just kills him?!?! I died it was actually really funny. I realize how sick that sounds and I’m sorry but it was so funny.

- Robert Lightwood: Never did I think a character from another series would be killed off. I set myself up for sadness when I assumed that. I was very sad when Robert died; not only was he Emma and Julian’s only hope to fix things between them, but he was also just mending his relationship with his children and it broke my heart when Alec was calling for his dad. I can’t remember exactly, the last few pages of LOS were a blur of tears and emotions and words and I’m pretty sure I started crying when Alec was calling “Dad, please, dad.”

- Livvy Blackthorn: Oh my god. Oh my god. Livvy’s death caught me by complete surprise and it crushed me. Livvy had so much ahead of her. She’d found out that Julian had been the one that had taken care of all of the younger Blackthorns since the Dark War, and she’d wanted to be like him. She’d kissed Julian on the forehead. It was so cute and it warmed my heart. SHE NEVER GOT TO RUN AN INSTITUTE. All Livvy wanted was for her family to be together and when Helen and Mark finally came back and everyone was together, she died. She never got to see her family reunite, and I think that’s the saddest part. I truly will miss Livvy. And when the clock rang? Oh my god, I was a hot mess. There are dried tears on the last two pages of LOS. I cried myself to sleep that night when I finished it.

Side note on Livvy’s death: maybe this is a grieving me just searching for a way to bring Livvy back but there was a quote in either Lady Midnight or Lord of Shadows (I think its LOS) and one of the characters (I think a faerie or something) is like “Oh, how foolish of u to regard death as something so final.” Will this tie into Livvy’s death? WILL LIVVY COME BACK?

Characters I Literally Cannot Deal With

- Jaime Rosales (taking advantage of Dru like wtf)

- Annabel Blackthorn (she fucking killed Livvy and Robert ugh)

- Zara Dearborn (I don’t really need to explain this, do I?)

- The Cohort (see above)

Characters I Didn’t Pay Much Attention to Before but Now I Like Them

- Mark Blackthorn (sweet bby oml)

- Kieran (ur not as bad as I thought, pal)

- Diana Wrayburn (I explained above. Never hated her or anything, just didn’t know her)

- Gwyn ap Nudd (PROTECT THIS ACTUAL TEDDY BEAR OML)

- Dru Blackthorn (don’t make her babysit plz)

- Ty and Livvy (I have a twin and I wish he was like Ty lol)

Emma Carstairs 

- hot mess of angst and emotions throughout the book (as expected) 

- Julian Blackthorn Julian Blackthorn Julian Blackthorn Julian Blackthorn

- She slayed one of the Seven Riders like holy crap girl ur a legend

- She and Julian had sex again. Have I talked about this? Yes. It was amazing. I loved it. I enjoyed every second of it.

- I love how whenever someone does anything mean or says something bad about the Blackthorns, Emma freaking goes apeshit on them

- When Emma made Diego stand in the antpile.... OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS GIRL

- She’s so sassy and I love her sass. Did I mention I love her sass. 

Further comments

- WHAT THE FUCK IS THE DEAL WITH CORTANA BREAKING THE MORTAL SWORD. WHAT THE FUCK. I NEED ANSWERS.

- will Emma and Julian seriously ever get rid of the parabatai bond

- how will Livvy’s death affect her family

- when will Mark, Cristina, and Kieran have their eventual threesome I need to know

- how the fuck is Bridget still alive

- ALL OF THE TID REFERENCES WHILE THEY WERE IN LONDON AHHHH MY HEART

- what is happening to the warlocks oh my god don’t touch my Tessa and don’t touch my Magnus

- is Ragnor alive or nah

- what is the history of the Black Volume

- Clary better not die or I fucking s2g