Childhood Crush
Chapter 17: Silicon
Killer x gn!reader
word count: 3.4k
a/n: figured i'd give you some up before we get to the real downs
next
After your little confrontation with Killer, if you can even call it that, you decided to see what you could find out about the SMILE fruit that you could. You did find out that Kaido was getting it from the warlord Donquixote Doflamingo who had someone named Caesar the Clown making it. Though, in your research, you found out that someone else had been somewhat wrapped up in things. At least he was there when things went belly up in Punk Hazard.
Trafalgar Law.
Luckily, everyone was on the same port as the ships were being repaired and prepared for departures. Everyone around the same area meant it was going to be easier for you to slip away for a few moments to try and talk to him. You knew your brother absolutely loathed the guy and everyone else would just raise an eyebrow on why you might want to strike up a conversation with him. And if you wanted to be incognito about your whole plan then…
You spotted him leaning against some rock somewhat on the edge of all the commotion, so no one would probably pay attention to the both of you as long as neither of you brought attention to yourselves. You headed that way, plopping down next to him. He looked at you with a confused expression.
“The hell you want Eustass 2.0?”
You could suddenly see why your brother hated him. What a warm, stand up guy. Though, his whole personality was surrounded by the idea of death - so you guess it checked out. You glared at him. “First of all, I’m the older sibling, so if anything he’d be y/n 2.0.” Law stared at you in disbelief.
“You two are related? So there really are two of him?”
“Oh my fuck, just fuck off with that. Anyway.” You shook your head, you were here for a reason. You weren’t about to let your annoyance get to you over some petty comments.
“I need to know everything you know about the SMILE fruit.” You looked at him and his expression changed to a more serious one.
“And why would I tell you anything?”
“Why wouldn’t you?”
He seemed to pause at that retort. “Because I don’t have to.”
Your face changed to that of a deadpanned one. Nice to know his trash talk was garbage. “Wow. King of comebacks, you are, huh?”
He narrowed his eyes at you. “You’re not making me want to help you, you know.”
With a roll of your eyes and a sigh, you pinched the bridge of your nose. “Well, whether or not you tell me the information doesn’t actually matter. I just thought I could start with some kind of foundation.”
“What are you getting on about?”
You looked at him once more. “Since no one else seems wants to fucking do anything about it, I’m going to be trying to cure the SMILE fruit.”
“And you need my help? What could I do?”
“I don’t need your help, I just need to know what you learned on Punk Hazard.”
He stared at you for a moment and you could feel your irritation growing. This man was impossible. You absolutely saw why your brother was always irritated by his mere presence. With a sigh of irritation, you stood up and dusted yourself off.
“You know what? Forget I asked. I just wanted to help someone I fucking care about but I should’ve know better than to fucking ask for help.” You casted a glance across the port to Killer who was talking to Dive at the moment before starting to head in that direction.
“Wait!” You stopped, honestly surprised. You turned around to look at the pirate lounging on the rock. “Fine. I’ll tell you what I know. But I’m only going to say it once, so listen close.”
A smile spread across your face. “Thank you, Trafalgar. I owe you.”
--
After that irritating interaction with the other pirate captain, he did provide some pretty useful information to you. You wouldn’t exactly be starting at ground zero, so at least that helped. You headed back over to your own crew, feeling a bit lighter.
“Y/n!” Dive ran over to you, looking up at you. “Did you hear about the bounty update?” You shook your head. She held up the paper with your brother’s face on it and your eyes widened. “Fucking what now?” You took the paper, looking at it closer.
“Just cause you hold it closer to your face, doesn’t mean the number’s gonna change.” You glared at Killer before you looked around. “Wait, where’s Tungsten?”
“Well, after the bounty reveal…” You looked at Killer and groaned. “Yeah. Probably gonna pick a fight.” You made a face. “I should probably go and stop him,” you grumbled. Killer laughed and you started trudging your way to the Flower Capital as the other followed you. There was supposed to be some kind of feast anyway.
--
“Tungsten! Get your ass down here!”
Eustass looked down at you from where he was…being held? by Luffy. You assumed your brother tried to attack him and Luffy took it as a celebration of some sort. You haven’t known him long, but you could already tell that this Strawhat was quite the character.
You placed your hands on your hips as you looked up at your brother. “Fuck off, Bigs! You don’t tell me what to do!” He was shouting at you from up above and you groaned.
“We’re not going to start another war here in Wano. Wait until y’all leave then sort out whatever beef you have!”
“There’s no time like the present! If I take him down now-”
As the two of you argued loud enough for just about everyone to hear, Law was watching the interaction. The person you were when you were with your brother was completely different from the one who had a conversation with him earlier. “Are they always like this?”
“Yeah, actually.” Killer laughed. “It’s weird if they’re not.”
“Isn’t it a headache?”
He shook his head. “You kind of start to miss it when one of them is gone and presumed dead,” Killer said with a shrug. Law just looked at him, about to ask what in the hell that cryptic statement meant when the other moved forward and threw you over his shoulder as he always did to diffuse the situation.
“Killer!” You groaned, not even bothering to fight it, as your brother cackled - the situation diffusing as it always does. At least he stopped trying to fight Luffy and the lot of you could enjoy the festivities now.
When the festivities began, it was a whole entire different atmosphere. There were no enemies here, only allies. The three pirate crews, the citizens of Wano, everyone was intermingling. It was truly peaceful and light hearted. You were going to enjoy it while it lasted because you had a long journey ahead of you.
The night dragged on and you felt yourself growing tired. You were sitting in between Killer and your brother when Dive popped up next to you. Her pigtails looked worse for wear and she looked at you with urgency. “Will you fix my hair?!” You blinked.
“Sure?” She was more than capable of fixing her own hair, but you also weren’t sure why she cared. She wasn’t exactly one to care about her appearance. She plopped into your lap. “Heat got rice and stuff in it!” She folded her arms with a pout.
She handed you a brush that she said she acquired from someone, but you didn’t exactly question it. You took out her hair, picking out the food. You used the water you had to wash out whatever sticky shit had also ended up in her hair.
As you did her hair, she idly talked about whatever was on her mind and you heard Killer laugh from next to you. You looked at him. “What?” He shook his head. “I’m assuming you gained a more domestic side while you were gone?” You narrowed your eyes at him.
“What do you mean by that?”
He stuck up his hands. “You just seem more soft around the edges - not a bad thing.”
“Well, I grew up around you guys. Then I was on an island of scientists for, like, two years. Much less rowdy. Plus, Lily always liked it when I did her hair.” As you were brushing Dive’s hair, your heart hurt. Your mind shifted to what Kese had said. You still couldn’t believe Myra had deceived you in such a way. Your mind still couldn’t wrap around it.
You did find yourself missing Lily though. She was a breath of fresh air. You’d brush her hair like this before bed every night.
Before your thoughts could delve any further down that spiral, you felt a hand on your thigh. You looked over, seeing Killer looking towards you. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.” You shook your head. “Don’t apologize. You didn’t mean anything by it.” Though, your face was growing more and more red by the second.
“I think she just wanted to spend some time with you before you left,” he mumbled so Dive couldn’t hear what he said. You looked at him before looking to Dive. It made sense. She seemed to have missed you a lot.
One deep breath later, you focused on Dive’s hair and whatever she was prattling on about, trying not to think too much about the hand that currently wasn’t leaving your thigh.
And it didn’t.
As the night droned on, Dive eventually fell asleep against you. Killer’s hand never left your thigh, or if it did, it returned back to it. You were at a table, so no one else noticed, but you were painfully aware of it. You were flustered, but you also felt incredibly at ease at the same time. It didn’t matter if the two of you were talking to each other or someone else, he was always keeping contact with you.
You almost regretted deciding to stay, but you knew this was important. This was for him. Whatever feelings were happening and whatever the hell this was - you could figure that out when you met up again. You were going to enjoy it while it lasted though.
--
You weren’t exactly sure when you fell asleep, but you woke up back on the ship with Dive curled into your side. How did you end up back here? Did your brother carry you back? The events of last night flooded your brain, mostly the hand that never left you last night. Did Killer carry you back then? What was all that about? You had a feeling you weren’t going to be able to get any answers today.
You pushed those thoughts away. Today was departure day. Eustass was to set sail and you were to migrate to your new lab. You had spoken with Momonosuke about everything and he seemed more than willing to let you help his people - even told you he’d give you anything you needed to succeed. You appreciated that.
The morning was pretty busy. You were helping your brother ready the ship for departure as well as everyone saying their goodbyes to you. It was pretty emotional, but you guess that the last time you left, they thought you had died while you were gone, so the hesitation and emotions all made sense.
When it was time to go, there was a group hug that took place. You were nearly crushed by everyone, but you were accepting of a fate like that. At least you were surrounded by endless love if you died that way.
Everyone dispersed to head back onto the ship. Eustass stayed behind for a moment. You knew he was hesitant to leave you behind. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you talking to Trafalgar yesterday,” he grumbled, looking annoyed. You looked at him and rolled your eyes.
“I was trying to get information about the SMILE fruit. He was on Punk Hazard for some months before Strawhat and he took it down.”
That changed your brother’s tune a little. “Oh.”
“What do you mean ‘oh’? Why the fuck else would I talk to that dickhead?”
Eustass snorted and shrugged. “I don’t know. That’s why I was asking. So you don’t like him either?”
You shrugged. “He’s got that air of arrogance about him. Made me want to punch him in the nose. But I do appreciate the information he gave me.” You smirked, causing your brother to laugh.
“That’s my Bigs.” He wrapped his arm around you and the both of you looked at the ship.
“Make sure you don’t die, yeah?” Eustass’ voice was soft. You looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “I should be telling you that.” You rolled your eyes, shaking your head. He just shrugged, shaking his head. “I can’t die now. Not when we’re so close to getting to the One Piece.”
“Well, I’ll find you as soon as I develop a cure, okay? So, don’t do anything fucking stupid, okay?”
“Me? Stupid? Never.”
“Says the one that thought it was a good idea to fight Shanks.” You glared at him and he just narrowed his eyes at you. “I could totally take him.”
“You lost an arm!”
“And?!”
“What makes you think you’ll beat him the next time!?!”
“Because I can!”
“Oh my fuck, Tungsten, please.”
The two of you delve into more laughter and before sighing. “Suppose until next time, Bigs.”
“Until next time, Tungsten.” Then he paused, turning to you. “Did Killer talk to you?” You blinked, tilting your head to the side. “About what?”
He shook his head. “I take that as a no then.”
With that, he boarded his ship. “Wait! Tungsten! You can’t-” But he wasn’t listening. You watched as he approached Killer, asking him something. You blinked as he proceeded to smack Killer upside the head and start yelling at him while Killer just sheepishly rubbed his neck. What was that about? What did he apparently want to talk to you about? Or supposed to talk to you about? Great. Just another unanswered question.
You weren’t able to dwell on it long before the rest of the crew were yelling goodbye to you once more and you waved, shouting your own send offs. Then you paused. “Are they just…”
Your stupid fucking brother.
“Are they just going to launch themselves over the mountain?” Then you watched them do just that - much to your dismay.
--
Settling into your new lab wasn’t too difficult. You didn’t have too many things, as most of it had still been on the island in which you had lived for a couple of years. You never got that stuff back and now you supposed you never would. Which sucked because you did have some stuff in there that would probably help with what you were dealing with now.
You started making new notes, first writing down everything Law had told you. You were lucky you had an amazing memory - you didn’t forget a single thing he had mentioned.
You heard something clatter behind you and you turned around, seeing a small child standing there. “Oh, sorry!” She picked up the book she had knocked over and held it up. “My name is Toko! I am not sure if you remember me though.”
You blinked, taken aback. You remembered her, yes. But, you hadn’t noticed before because of the whole, defending them from Killer thing - she seemed to be affected by the fruit too. You could tell with the unnatural curl the edges of her smile had.
“Nice to meet you, Toko,” you said, walking over to her and taking the book. You knelt down to meet her on her level. “I’m y/n.”
“Is it true you’re trying to find a cure for the SMILE fruit?” You blinked. Were they just telling everyone? “I overheard Hiyori talking about it.” Ah, that made sense.
You smiled, ruffling her hair. “It’s true. I’m going to try my best to help you and everyone else who was affected, okay?” You saw her eyes light up. “Really?!” You nodded and she threw her arms around you. “Oh thank you!”
You awkwardly patted her back, your heart aching. Talk about pressure. You already had the weight of your brother’s disappointment looming over your shoulders, now this small child? Well, there was also just the shogun and whomever that guy told. Ugh, there was more pressure building by the minute.
“Toko! You shouldn’t be bothering them. I am so sorry, doctor.” Hiyori appeared in the doorway. You looked at her and shook your head with a smile. “It’s quite alright. She just seems curious.”
“Also, thank you for rescuing us!” Toko looked at you, her smile reaching her eyes. When dealing with people affected by the fruit, you tend to focus on their eyes more. That’s how you gauged their real emotion. You were just luckily Killer had always really worn a helmet so you could just read his entire being.
You blinked. “Oh, uh…you’re welcome?” Hiyori laughed softly. “Humble, I see.” You looked at her. You almost wanted to apologize on Killer’s behalf, but you also felt it was probably best they just never knew that little tidbit of information.
With the energy of Toko and the calm nature of Hiyori, they really did remind you of Myra and Lily. Your chest aches at the thought of them. You missed Lily, but you knew that you’d never see her again. And when you thought of Myra you just…hurt. All that love turned to pain.
“Well, we’ll leave you be. Let us know if you need anything. Come along, Toko.” You nodded, waving as they left.
You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. When you exhaled, you opened your eyes again and went back to your notes.
--
The first few weeks of your time at Wano, post-battle, was spent cooped up in the lab. You were trying to figure things out. You were gathering as much information as you could about the stupid fruits before you tried experimenting with them. You slept in the lab most nights - mainly because you’d work so long you’d just pass out at your desk.
Toko visited almost daily. She just enjoyed chatting with you, mostly talking about nothing. You always enjoyed the background noise of people talking. She’d bring you snacks and such. It was nice to have at least some kind of distraction every once and a while. Hiyori would sometimes join her in the visits. They were both incredibly sweet and a welcomed breath of fresh air from your stuffy lab.
“Doctor y/n?” You turned, smiling at Toko. “C’mon, I told you that you didn’t have to call me doctor, Toko.”
“I know, but I like the way it rolls off the tongue.” She laughed and you smiled. “Alright. So, what’s up? How can I help you today?”
Whenever she visited, you always paused what you were doing to fully turn your attention to her. If you ever were doing something where you couldn’t be interrupted, you’d just lock the door.
“There is someone here for you. They said that you know them but we wanted to come and check first!” You blinked, tilting your head to the side. Who the hell could possibly be visiting you? You knew there was no way in hell Eustass would be here. Or anyone else from your crew.
“Who is it?”
The look in Toko’s eyes fell. “Oh, I forgot already. Toko sorry.”
You walked over, ruffling her hair. “Oh, don’t apologize. There’s nothing wrong with forgetting. Let’s go take a look together, hm?”
Her eyes brightened once more as she took your hand and walked with you to the front of the building. You walked with her when you heard a familiar voice talking with the guard that stayed stationed at the front. You immediately stopped in your tracks. “Y/n?” Toko asked, looking back at you.
Your eyes widened and your stomach dropped as your eyes fell on your ‘guest.’
Myra.
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Pt 1
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Keith doesn't find out for a while. It slips his mind briefly when Shiro disappears. He doesn't have the time to think about it. Not when he's trying to find his brother.
He's reminded after Black chooses him.
"I can't be the leader. I- I'm not-"
"Keith," Lance says. He puts his hand on Keith's shoulder. It's comforting, distracting him from his tears enough that he doesn't immediately start to cry.
Keith looks up at Lance and into his eyes. They were brown this time. A deep, rich brown, like the earth after rain, with flecks of gold in them. Keith thinks that he likes Lance's eyes when they're brown, not blue.
"The black lion has chosen you to be its Paladin. I respect it's choice, and you should too," Lance tells him. Keith nods, unable to say anything because he truly thinks that he'll cry.
Keith can feel Red and Black in his mind. Black is much calmer than Red, who often burned like fire did.
She was saying goodbye, that she enjoyed having him as her Paladin but that he was truly meant to be Black's Paladin instead. Red's fire slowly disappeared, leaving him with Black, who pressed comfort into his mind.
Everyone separates after they congratulate Keith on the promotion, each person going to do what they need to do. Keith goes to the training deck, needing something to keep him occupied.
He takes down bot after bot, not caring about how long it's been, loosing himself in the comfort of being able to take out his frustration and anger on something that wasn't alive, but that he could still cut down without mercy.
Shiro wasn't there to stop him, to remind him to take care of himself, so he continued to train.
"End simulation." The program obeyed the voice. Keith turned to glare at the person who had cut his training short, only to be met with Lance standing there, arms crossed and eyebrows raised.
"What do you want, Lance?" He asked. Lance was silent for a few ticks.
"You need to take a break," he simply said when he did speak. Keith rolled his eyes.
"As if I need you to mother hen me," Keith snapped. Lance just sighed.
"Your movements have been getting slower, so has your reaction time," he pointed out.
"So?"
"So, knowing you, you've been training non-stop for hours without a break, and I now have to drag you out of here kicking and screaming, so that you can shower and eat." Keith scowled.
"I'm fine," he insisted. When was Lance so observant of him?
Another sigh from Lance.
"Please, Keith. You're our leader, now, you need to be well rested so that you can carry out leader duties," Lace reasoned. Keith's Bayard changed from a sword to its simplest form.
"I never asked to be the leader. I can't... I can't lead you guys like Shiro," he said. The admission had him turning away from Lance, staring at the floor. He hadn't meant to tell Lance that, but there was something about Lance that made Keith feel comfortable enough to open up to him.
"Keith," Lance said. A hand came to rest on his back, gentle and comforting. "The point isn't to be a leader like Shiro was. The point is to step up and fill your role, even if you don't want it. Black chose you. If she didn't think that you could lead us, then she would have chosen someone else, like Allura."
"I just... This is the second time, Lance. The second time I've lost my brother. I- my mom left me when I was a baby, and then my dad died and I was left alone in the fucking foster system, then I met Shiro and he decided to give me a chance, and then I lost him when he left for Kerberos and- it hurts." The last two words were quiet. Keith realised bleakly that there were tears on his face.
Lance pulled him in for a hug.
Keith held onto him like he was his lifeline, the only thing keeping him tethered in the endless expanse of space.
"Pidge knows how you feel," Lance reminded him when he'd calmed down enough. Keith just nodded.
He left the training room behind. When he showered, he just stood there, under the water, feeling numb while Black pressed comfort into his mind. He went through the motions as if he were a robot, washing his hair, his body, and then stepping out and drying himself and getting dressed.
He didn't have anything to do, so he just... Walked. He didn't have anywhere he needed to be, so he just walked.
He ended up finding Pidge sitting in Green's hangar, typing away on something.
"Hey, Pidge," he said.
"Hey, Keith," she replied. She continued to do whatever it was she was doing.
"Mind if I sit here?"
"Go ahead, as long as you're not going to annoy me like Lance does." Keith gave a small smile at that and sat on the floor near Pidge. They were silent for a while. "It sucks, doesn't it?" She asked randomly.
"What does?"
"Shiro," came the reply. Easy and simple. Keith nodded.
"Yeah. He's... He's my brother, and this is the second time I've lost him," he told her. Pidge stood up and sat on the floor with Keith, resting her head on his shoulder. Keith rested his head on hers.
"It sucks so, so much. I just- I just want to find them. Matt and Dad." Keith understood what Lance was getting at earlier.
Go talk to someone who knows your pain, who can sympathize with you.
Keith wrapped an arm around the youngest of the group and hugged her.
"We'll find them. All of them. Shiro, Matt, your dad. We'll find them, we'll bring peace to the universe, and then we can go home and just live our lives," Keith said.
"I hope you're right." Pidge curled up further into Keith's side.
He hoped so too.
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Pt 3
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